#but yeah I have very strong feelings about this one fact of how things went

[lasanya539]

make this heart beat on and on

(written for @tmnt-write-fight for @rbtlvr, @oddpocalypse, @azucar-skull)

Fandom: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Prompts: Anything with Casey Jr. maybe him adjusting to the new timeline? talking things out with Leo? up to you! can be hurt/comfort or just fluff i am not picky; Casey Jones and the terrible horrible no good very bad childhood. TW: Mentions of Su!cide, Mentions of Dissociation, Pan!c Attàck Word Count: 11523

Posted on AO3!

---

Casey Junior has… mixed feelings about the past. 

In the first twenty-four hours of him making it here, he’s somehow been launched head-first into the loudest, most overstimulating place of his life, gotten kidnapped and strapped to a chair by a short, angry teenager, been interrogated by a bunch of immature mutant ninjas reptiles, almost died once, almost died twice, locked a sixteen year old turtle into an exiled dimension, and then got him back just to work his ass off to barely save him from the brink of death.

Not to mention the fact that mere milliseconds before getting here he had to watch his sensei die right in front of his eyes, had to confront faces he’d only ever heard stories about or never thought he’d see again, had to somehow be responsible for unleashing the monsters that haunted his entire life in this timeline too, had to sentence a younger version of the man that raised him to get killed at the hands of a demon, and had to beg, beg, beg for a stable pulse when he was given his destroyed body, a family looking at him with the worst kind of hope in their wide eyes. 

That… was all in the span of one day.

Of course, it got better as time went on. Slowly but surely, Leonardo recovered, Casey’s due diligence paying off. Raphael’s eye got rid of the infection, his vision improving despite the scar across his eye-ridge. The markings of organic matter on Donatello’s shell diminished, strong enough for his battle shell again. Michelangelo’s compression gloves reduced the shaking in his hands, the cracks fading to scabs, fading to thin white scars. 

They healed. They won. They survived. 

Or, at least, a version of them did. 

So, yeah, Casey Junior has a lot of mixed feelings about the past. Some of them are straightforward to categorize — his undeniable affinity for pepperoni pizza being one of them, easy to think, oh yeah this is a logical emotion to have. Much like the joy at having fresh water he could drink from the sink at all times, or the relief from studying the medical supplies stocked to the brim in the Med Bay. Times when his brain decides to go a bit easy on him, letting him breathe.

The rest of the time though, it seems like there’s a weight attached to his body, heavy, unrelenting. Tugging on his limbs, keeping his head from being held high. It feels like a threat, a warning — slithering tentacles at his heels when he walks, ready to wrap around his ankles and yank him into oblivion. A sea of darkness at his fingertips, just reach out and it’ll capture him.

He tries hard, though, to not dwell on it. To keep himself safe, he knows how to do that. It’s a delicate balance, but one he has practically mastered in his years at the Liberty Base. Keeping his eyes alert, but mind blank. Aware, but empty. Perfect little soldier, no weaknesses, no thoughts, no illogical emotions. Only orders, and a readiness to survive. 

So he does. However he can.

—

“Casey!” He hears a voice coming from the kitchen. “Can you help me out with this batter?”

Shaking his head, Casey realizes he’s been spaced out watching some kind of Japanese game show with Master Splinter in the projector room, the not-so-foreign language and laugh track providing a nice background to meld into. He walks to the kitchen to find Michelangelo wearing an apron that says ‘Kiss the Turtle!’, while the entire counter is dusted in flour and baking trays. 

He catches sight of him and smiles, giving him a giant bowl and a whisk. Casey notices his hands shaking just slightly. “Here, it’s batter for the brownies I’m making today. Have you ever had brownies?”

The answer was obvious, but he still obliges. “No, never. It’s like, uh, chocolate cake, right?”

“Yep! Well, kind of, you’ll see. I’ll save you an edge piece.”

He sets to whisking, the smell of sugar and butter and things he’d never tasted in years making his mouth water. He resists the urge to dunk his finger in and lick it. 

Michelangelo goes back to pouring in the ingredients of a second batch, reaching up to the cabinets to grab the box of cocoa, when suddenly his hand twitches involuntarily. The box slips out of his grip and falls to the counter, the loose powder spilling on the granite.

Casey steps forward to help immediately, but Michelangelo’s rigid posture makes him rethink. He watches him count to five silently, taking a deep breath and releasing it with meditative precision, shoulders untensing and grabbing the box again. His hands are still shaking.

Casey thinks for a moment, still whisking, trying to come up with something comforting to say. A part of him knows bothering him about the injury would probably make him snap, a lesson learned from his childhood, which he definitely isn’t thinking about. 

He takes a deep breath and forces a bright smile on his face. “Hey, so, what’s your favorite thing to cook?”

Michelangelo blinks, surprised. “Sorry?"

“You love to cook, right? Since you were a kid. So what’s your favorite thing to make?”

“Well, it depends,” he begins slowly. “If we’re talking dessert, then I make really good salted caramel chocolate chip cookies! Ask Leo, he always begs for leftover dough, no matter how much I tell him it’ll make him sick. A breakfast favorite is always waffles, Raph loves them. Or for lunch or dinner, truffle pork chops! There’s actually a whole story behind that recipe.” He chuckles sheepishly, rubbing a hand behind his neck. “What about you? What did you guys eat in the future? I’m sure the food situation was much different than here, huh?”

Casey’s smile turns plastic as something painful lodges underneath his ribs. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.”

Michelangelo seems to wait for him to continue, but he barely notices, ducking his head down and stirring mechanically. A sense memory of taste comes back, a flavor coating over his mouth. So many years of crouching next to his Master near a makeshift stove, watching the vermin they captured roasting on a spit. His lilting voice low in his ear, teaching him exactly how to rotate the spit, when to watch for the skin to break and crackle, how to chop off the head cleanly while still leaving enough meat to eat. The silly way they’d tap their respective meals together in a toast before they took a bite.

The batter doesn’t smell all that good anymore. 

He feels a gentle touch over his arm where he’s hugging the bowl close, and his head shoots up, an apology ready on his lips. But Michelangelo only smiles, a warm, almost loving thing that puts a giant crack in the armor that sits under his skin. The darkness whispers just outside of his peripherals, waiting, watching. 

“Here, that’s done now. Thank you.” He says softly. Casey nods methodically. 

“Anything else I can help you with?”

“No, that was all I needed. But hey, maybe you should—”

He spins on his heel in perfect form and marches out.

—

“Level of pain, scale of one to ten?”

“One.”

“Okay, two then. Let me know if it gets above a three, and I’ll start you on ibuprofen again. Itching?”

“Scoff. No itching.”

“Good. Have you been applying that antibacterial cream?”

“Yes, mother-hen, I’ve been applying the cream. And before you start, I’ve only been keeping the battle shell on for four hours each day, no need to nag about that.”

“I’m not a mother-hen, I’m a medic.” Casey responds, practiced, not looking up from the paper pad he’s been making diligent notes on his patients with. “What about your other injuries? Take off your gauntlet and knee pads.”

Donatello rolls his eyes with all the irritation in the world, but he does as he’s told, sticking his arms and legs out for inspection. Casey studies the new green skin peeking out from the cuts, evidence of the wounds he had gotten trying to protect Michelangelo with his body when the subway tunnels collapsed. A few pin-pricks of blood catch his attention. “Have you been picking at the scabs?”

He huffs, reflexively bringing his arms back to his plastron in defense, turning away. “No. ”

“Right.” He says plainly. “Well, if it ever gets to that point, stop it. I know you know better than that. Or I’ll put the heavy-duty bandages back on.” He ignores the glare he receives, making one last note and flipping the notepad shut, sighing. “Still, though, you’re recovering pretty well. Considering.”

Donatello quickly puts his gauntlet and battle shell back on, eager to get back to the spreadsheets open on his monitor. Casey starts collecting the old bandages and throwing them in the trash along with his gloves. 

“Well, I have to admit.” Donatello says eventually. “If any of us are doing any better, it’s all thanks to you.”

He halts in place, surprised. “It’s my job.”

“It’s not.” Casey feels his stare on his back where he’s turned away to the wall. “You might have been the medic back there, but you’re not one here. Certainly no one forced you to. I distinctly remember Papa telling you to move out of his way when you three got to Staten Island so he could treat his son. But you practically forced yourself into the role and starting ordering everyone around you, including me somehow.”

Casey’s lip twitches at the indignant tone at the end of the sentence. He hangs the first aid kit on the wall. “Yeah, well, there was a lot to be taken care of. Even if I had let Master Splinter take control, it would have been too much just on him. I had to step in. And besides, I’m good at what I do.”

Donatello hums approvingly. “Being confident in your own skills, that’s a good thing to have. I know you said Leo taught you all you know in the future, but he’s actually the worst out of all of us when it comes to having pride in his own work.”

Casey gulps, a sudden ashy emotion clogging his throat. Involuntarily, a memory bubbles up to the surface, the darkness not too far behind. A lesson learned between many violet floating holograms and the clanking of a hammer against metal, a calloused three-fingered hand on his shoulder, steadfast, grounding. 

‘Hope may be your greatest weapon’, his Master telling him, teaching him, ‘but your pride is your greatest shield.’

“Yeah.” He chokes out, eyes blurry. He feels slimy tentacles nip at his heels, cold and terrifying. “I – I have to check on the others.”

He barely hears the questioning tone as he flees from the lab. 

—

“Hey, hey, can we spar really quick?"

Casey looks up from the fairy lights on the ceiling he was zoning out at, turning to find Leonardo next to him, an eager look on his face. “Sorry?”

“Let’s spar. C’mon, it’ll be fun. I’m actually so bored right now, and I know for a fact you are too.”

“You should definitely not be sparring, you’re still in recovery.”

“Oh, come on,” he whines, stretching out all of his limbs in show. “See? Everything is fine, I’ve been doing that P.T. schedule you gave me, I’m not in pain, and I am bored. Out of. My mind. So can we just go to the dojo and spar it out? I’m really curious to see what kind of ninja warrior skills you have."

Casey gives him a look, but Leonardo just gives him a shit-eating grin that reeks of stubbornness. 

“Fine.” He stands up, bones creaking with the weight of years he hasn’t yet lived but still survived. Leonardo looks happier than he has in days. 

The dojo still looks quite used, the mats bruised and the punching bags a little worse for wear. Unfortunate for a family full of injured members. 

“You know, it seems like you already have quite a few willing training partners for some reason.” Casey says pointedly. 

“Ha, yeah, I guess I do, huh,” Leonardo rubs the back of his neck, eyes flitting away. Guilty. Casey can’t stand to look at it too long. “But the point is to train with you! So c’mon, Future Boy, show me what you got!”

Casey forces them to stretch before they start and earns an eye roll in return. They get into position, stance firm and muscles tight. They circle each other, looking for an opening. Casey moves first, and aims for a quick jab to the center of his plastron. Leonardo blocks it, responding with a swift roundhouse kick. He ducks and rolls, returning to stance.

Leonardo smirks at him, a cocky, familiar thing. Something loosens and squirms under his armor.

A flurry of strikes follow – each one of them blocking, dodging, countering with fluid precision. Almost like a dance they’ve rehearsed before, anticipation thrumming in Casey’s veins. They track each other’s movements with the same sharp gaze, prepared.

Leonardo launches a high kick to his head, his balance faltering for an instant. Casey notices, dropping low, sweeping his legs out from under him. A sharp elbow strike to the ribs, and he is forced onto the mat. They stare at each other for a second, before Casey stands up and bows respectfully.  

“Wow,” Leonardo pants out, looking up at him. “I promise I’m a lot better at this, usually. You – you definitely got lucky this time.”

Casey snorts, hearing his heart beat in his ears, spirits higher than usual. “Sure, man, let’s say I did.”

Leonardo beams in response, as he helps him get up. He dusts himself off, still out of breath from the excess exercise after the weeks of recovery. Casey smirks, opening his mouth to rib him for training when he wasn’t even ready for it, but suddenly an arm hooks around his neck, pulling him to Leonardo’s side in a friendly jostle that throws him off balance.

“So, I was right, huh?” Leonardo grins cheekily. “You just needed to spar too. No way all that rad ninjosity can sit still and not have somewhere to go, amiright? I haven’t seen you look this happy in a while!”

‘A while’ actually meaning ‘ever’, Casey thinks hysterically, good mood plummeting as he suppresses the instinctive urge to twist out of the chokehold. The warmth from the contact makes the loose emotion stirs up again, but he brutally shoves it down, forcing himself to not give in. Not right now. No tentacles, no illogical feelings. 

He returns the grin to the best of his ability, trying not to wilt when Leonardo dims, intelligent eyes ticking over his face. 

“Yeah, you’re right!” Casey gets out as cheerfully as he can manage. “Training is a good way to – to get out of your head, huh? Who would’ve thought, right?"

Leonardo doesn’t look very convinced, but lets it slide. “Well, just you and everyone else in this family.” He says matter-of-factly. His eye-ridges come together in a slight frown, thoughtful. Casey tries to pull away, but the arm somehow tightens around him. 

“Did you know,” Leonardo says eventually, “that after our first fight with the Shredder, Donnie trained in here for two days straight? The only times he stopped was to go to the bathroom, drink water, and once eat four Big Macs in a row, before immediately coming back. According to him, training was helping him ‘cope’ with everything, but it was actually making him even worse.”

Crack. The armor under his skin. 

‘Shredder tore through his battle shell like it was paper.’ Casey suddenly recalls the memory like it’s a vision. Holding his Sensei’s hand one night, hearing him talk in a quiet, morose tone, as they both watched the sleeping figure of his Master flopped over his worktable, three thin but prominent scars visible on his soft shell. ‘It terrified him. All he could think about was becoming better, stronger, faster. Good enough so nothing could ever touch his ‘weak-spot’ again, so he trained like he’d gone mad. God, he was lucky Shredder only got that one scrape on him – because if Donnie hadn’t been wearing his shell…’

“Yeah, I know, I was really upset about it too.” Leonardo can probably see something on his face. What is Casey showing him? He can’t tell. “We ended up having an intervention for him. He obviously got really angry, but we did the whole shabang – banner and letters and comfort food and all. Dad’s letter was so emotional it made all of us cry, I’m not even kidding. That was probably the only reason he listened.”

Casey feels like a leaf floating on tumultuous waters, just barely staying up for air. Dark waves crashing around him, ready to submerge him. Splinters form over his armor with every encroaching wave. 

Still, he brings himself back, and hums in response, feeling a perceptive stare on the side of his face. “S-sounds rough. I, um, I heard about the Shredder. You guys… did good.”

“Good, huh?” Leonardo huffs unamusedly. “Yeah. I guess you could say we did. We definitely weren’t the reason the real spirit of Shredder was released from the twilight dimension and he decided to destroy humanity, no siree.”

An unkind voice in Casey’s mind points out how utterly ironic that is. He tries to shake it away, a sense of foreboding curling at the edges of his vision, like the longer he stays here, the more danger he’ll be in. 

“Still though,” he argues. “You – you fixed it, didn’t you? You killed the Shredder, you saved New York.”

Leonardo gives him a smile that only barely reaches his eyes, a wry twist of his lips, and something horrible lurches in Casey’s chest, a wild creature of grief and longing and… and—

“Yeah, I suppose we did.” He answers softly. “Couldn’t have done it alone, the world would have been destroyed if it was just the seven of us. It was Gram-Gram and all the Hamato spirits with us. Our ancestors always have our back, the same way we do each other. Anatawa hitorijanai, right?”

The darkness swallows Casey almost at the same time as the tentacles of misery seize his limbs. The glass armor shatters into shards, digging into his thin skin. Echoes of voices crowd into his ears like loud wasps: anatawa hitorijanai, you are not alone, never alone Casey Jones, remember that, the Hamato clan protects its own, anatawa hitorijanai, wherever you go I will always be right there with you, my lifesaver, my kid—

Distantly, Leonardo exclaims something in alarm. A choked sob escapes Casey’s lips, body shaking involuntarily. He feels something pulling at him relentlessly, dragging him under into a black sea of panic. He gasps for breath, fingers bunching in his shirt, trying to let oxygen through the pinhole of his throat into his lungs. 

Foreign touch at his shoulders, uncertain. The tentacles slither and tighten viciously. Casey looks up without seeing and hisses, a scared and cornered response, that has the touch retreating immediately. Through the white noise of his ears he can hear words, the tone maybe meant to be calm or soothing, but all it does is make him even more aware of how exposed he feels. 

Years of military training kick in, and over the cacophony of sounds a voice replays in his ear, a voice he’d follow to the ends of the earth, ‘Retreat! To the underground tunnels! Retreat!’ 

So he does. Orders and a readiness to survive. However he can.

—

When Casey Junior was five, he asked his sensei why the sky in his Little Wolfie the Wolfpup book was colored blue. 

Sensei looked at him like there was a laugh stuck in his throat trapped by the sorrow on his face, an expression that made little sense to him. He heaved a sigh out, looking up through the tunnel grate, where they could barely catch a glimpse of the normal thick grey smog that covered the Surface and above.

‘Back then’, he said. He always started all stories of the unfathomable time before the Krang like that. ‘Back then, the sky used to be blue, mijo. It was beautiful. There weren’t so many spaceships then, it was all just blue, with white fluffy clouds that looked like cotton balls. Sometimes there would be an airplane that flew by, or sometimes there would be a bird! So when we drew the sky, we always drew it a pretty blue.’ 

‘Blue, like your old magic?’ Casey asked.

He chuckled, resting a warm hand on his head, fond, loving. ‘Yeah, kid. Like my old magic.’

And then of course his Master popped up behind them, and seriously explained to Casey the exact hexadecimal code that made up the color ‘sky blue’, which was very very (‘that’s two very’s’ ) different than the code for Sensei’s Ninpō blue, and that his twin was giving his charge a faulty education, and should be banned from the lab during homeschool teaching hours. 

Casey chuckles wetly now, the memory a small balm on his inner turmoil. He’s sitting on a steel maintenance ramp overlooking a dry sewer reservoir, his face turned up to a patch of sunlight from a broken metal grate on the ceiling. He doesn’t really remember how he got here; one second, he was crouched low in the dojo with his pulse thudding over his whole body, the next he was running through the subway tunnels, desperate to get away. So many years of living underground have trained him well to find the few exit hatches that connect the New York tunnels to the sewers lines in his frenzy. The only safe place he’d had when he was escaping the Surface during an attack. The only safe place he has now. 

He looks up, seeing fluffy white clouds that decorate a bright blue sky, a faint flicker of awe piercing through his fog of exhaustion. Exactly like his Little Wolfie the Wolfpup book. Even more beautiful, in fact. 

He vaguely wonders if those so-called ‘snow days’ are actually a thing now. Maybe little kids like Wolfie really do dress up in warm wooly cardigans and hats, and make round ‘snowmen’ with rocks and sticks and carrots. Maybe they look up and see a soft sun and rain-heavy clouds with a smile. Maybe they go back home to a family that was never war-torn, never had to watch them walk out the door bitterly wondering if this was goodbye. 

Casey sniffles, tears filling his vision once more. He never got to say goodbye. He buries his face in one hand, the other tightly clutching his hair, holding himself together, barely, barely. 

“Wow, I never knew this place was here.”

He jolts, immediately standing up to his feet and swerving around, already reaching to his back for a hockey stick that’s not there, before his brain catches up with his body. 

Raphael is on the stairs leading up to the high ramp, hands up in apology. His eyes, one normal and one scarred, tick over his stature in a discerning manner. 

“Sorry, Raph didn’t mean to scare you.” He says apologetically. “Just wanted to see if you were okay.”

Casey grimaces, turning around, muscles strung tight. “I’m fine.”

“Okay.” He says, surprisingly easily. He lumbers close and settles down, dangling his feet off the ledge, a respectable distance between them. 

Casey refrains from joining, feeling antsy, fists clenching and unclenching. The exhaustion still hasn’t worn off, but now it feels like it’s warping into something more, something urgent. The faint sounds of New York traffic filter down from the hole in the ceiling, dust particles floating in the stale air. Raphael is quiet on his side, seemingly calm. A bird flies by up there, making a cheerful sound. It’s a nice day outside. Warm. Cozy. 

“Have you ever touched snow?”

Raphael blinks at the sudden unexpected question, glancing up at him. He’s silent for a second, unsure, but answers, “Uh, yeah, I have. It snows here in New York… December to March, I think.”

“Did you like it?”

“Snow? Yeah, of course.” Raphael puts on a small smile, just barely forced. “Snow is great. Every winter, the four of us go to the surface to play in the parks. We have snowball fights and make snow-angels, it’s a lot of fun.” He snorts. “This one time Leo shoved a whole fistfull of snow right under the new Christmas sweater Dad made me just because I made fun of his ugly unicorn-themed scarf.” He steals another glance at him. “We’ll take you next time. Promise.”

And. And Casey can’t help it — he starts laughing hysterically.

Raphael jerks back in surprise as he doubles over, clutching his stomach and chortling uncontrollably. Because isn’t it all so fucking funny? They want to take him to see snow. Snow. As if he hasn’t been dreaming of the impossible chance to build a snow-castle with his family like Wolfie and his friends ever since he was a kid. As if he didn’t brutally crush that dream the day he lost his mother. What must she be thinking now, watching him from the Spirit Realm?

“Case?” Raphael says, almost inaudible over the noise. “Buddy—”

His lungs are vibrating with the lack of air in them. He wobbles on his feet, forward and backward. His vision is blurry again – is he still laughing? Those sharp sounds are laughs, right? He doesn’t know. To be honest, he doesn’t really remember what they’re supposed to sound like. When was the last time anyone around him had laughed? Certainly not in the apocalypse, no siree! No, because they were too busy dying, right?!

“Casey.” Raphael. A strong, firm voice. “Take a deep breath. Please.”

Please, he remembers thinking, raw power of a burning, golden portal pulsating around him, a whirlwind of colors behind his eyelids as he was hurtled in between timelines. Please, no. Please let this be a dream. I want to go home. Please. 

What even is home now? His timeline is torn to shreds. His family is dead. He can’t even stand to be out on the Surface to make a new life for himself. There is nobody here for him. This… this distorted reflection of the people that raised him don’t even fucking know him. They have no use for him anymore, he helped them stop the Krang and nursed them back to health. What now? Is there anything left for him? Of him?

A little pebble is accidentally kicked off the metal ramp, and Casey stops, his sharp eyes tracking its trajectory down to the dry basin. It lands innocently among the cracked concrete lines and rotten leaves covering the remains of the reservoir, dust bouncing off as the quiet sound echoes up to him.

Heh. If he had his Genius Built mask with him, he could figure out what the exact distance between them was. Easily fifty to sixty feet. He hiccups, wiping a hand roughly over his damp face, unable to look away from the tiny speck of the pebble. Is it still in one piece down there? Or did it break? It’s too far to tell. 

Heh. The blunt force trauma probably fractured it in half. Involuntarily, his weight shifts from his heels to the balls of his feet. 

“Hey, Casey,” Raphael is suddenly much closer, in his peripherals he can see a green arm reach out in front of him, not touching him. There’s something weird and worried in his voice. “Let’s take a step back, alright?”

Casey obeys automatically, because he’s hard-wired to listen to any turtle mutants in his vicinity. He takes a shaky step back, the pebble disappearing from his sight, blocked by a tall, scarred plastron. There’s an unmistakable flint of fear in Raphael’s furrowed eyes as he firmly places himself in front of him, body language forcibly relaxed and unthreatening. 

Another chuckle bubbles up his throat. How fucking ironic. “What’s wrong, Raphael?” Casey smiles with all his teeth. “You think I’m going to jump off and kill myself? Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m not my sensei.”

Raphael gapes at him, shock and horror bleeding into one another. “I – what? I didn’t—”

“Oh, I guess I never told you, huh? Well, surprise, surprise, then.” Casey’s voice wobbles dangerously as he rubs at his face again, the storm roiling in his chest. Shivers wrack his frame, as he finally folds in on himself, dropping into a crouch and landing in an undignified manner. The opposite of a soldier. Of a ninja. 

“Stupid, stupid,” the words leave his mouth before he can stop them. “Stupid illogical emotions. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—”

“Woah, woah, no.” Raphael sits in front of him, trying to catch his eye. “What are you sorry for? You’ve got nothing to apologize for, there’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling.”

A sob escapes Casey as he tries to take a deep breath. “But then why do I feel so out of control? Like – like…”

Like he’s adrift at sea, like the waves crest and fall at their own will. Like he’s at the mercy of a darkness he cannot fathom how to tame. Like if he can’t keep his head up the sheer grief will swallow him whole. 

“I can’t breathe.” The confession falls from his lips. “If I can’t control it, I can’t breathe.” 

A long pause, then Raphael sighs eventually, a deep and sad thing. He pulls back, hands folded atop his lap in perfect meditative stance, no longer attempting to physically get through to him. Making just enough room for Casey to zone out into the middle distance, ruminating in his own weaknesses. 

“Did you know…” Raphael speaks after a few minutes of silence. “I was really scared of thunderstorms as a kid?”

Casey refocuses on him, realizing he’s been unconsciously following his breathing, a pattern taught to him since he was old enough to sit still and quiet in the dojo. Inhale for four, hold for two, exhale for eight. 

“Yeah, I was.” He smiles at his confused look. “Had to be like – maybe ten or eleven. Every time I heard the thunder from the surface, I used to get terrified. Like, hide in-between the furniture, hands over my ears, shaking kind of terrified. Couldn’t even sleep during night storms. It got so bad that one time I actually screamed out loud because I heard the thunder in the middle of the night, and I woke Donnie up. He came to my room to check on me, but I felt so embarrassed. Because, well, Raph’s the big brother, y’know? Brother who is the biggest. I thought it was so dumb for me to feel scared and upset because of thunder.

“But Donnie didn’t say that. Actually, all he did was explain how thunder really works, the whole science behind it. Something, something, electrical charges and shockwaves, really nerdy stuff. I think he was trying to get me to understand it so I wouldn’t be scared of it anymore, but it just made me more embarrassed. If thunderstorms were really that simple, then it was stupid to feel this scared, right?

Raphael gently nudges him with his knee. “Wrong. Because of course I was scared of thunderstorms – thunder is loud! And it booms! And it always comes so suddenly and without warning, no one can tell when it starts or stops. Yeah, Raph would get scared out of his mind, and yeah, he’d run and hide before he realized what he was doing, but it made sense why I felt that way, at least according to Donnie. Just because my emotions seemed to be out of my control, did not mean they were illogical.”

Casey gulps at the words, hands shaking as he tries to warm them up by rubbing them on his thighs. Raphael gives him a smile so familiar and well-worn, it carves into him like a cold scalpel. “Case, the crap that you’ve seen in your life – none of us can even imagine it, even after the invasion. Having to grow up in an apocalypse and then having to come here, just to save us… it’s a miracle you’re still standing. You’re mourning your home, you have the right to feel.”

A tear falls down his face, followed by another, but he doesn’t wipe them away immediately this time. A whirlwind of emotions batter through his body as he closes his eyes against them. Casey shudders in a deep breath, inhale for four. Hold. Exhale.

“We used to have thunderstorms too.” He mumbles. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Really loud ones, mostly during the evening. The sky would turn red and grey because of the smoke and mist in the air. Our climate got really messed up because of the – the Krang.” He trips over the word surprisingly, a spike of dread at the name. “But, um, yeah. I hated thunderstorms as a kid too. I used to hide in Sensei’s bed because I couldn’t sleep.” A faint smile graces his lips. “He used to stay awake with me sometimes and we’d play cards together. I always knew it made him so tired to do that, but he never complained once the next day. When the thunder started, he always came to look for me in the bunkers, and he’d just pick me up and we’d turtle pile together.”

Raphael huffs out a laugh, something quiet and gentle on his face. It keeps surprising Casey how still he can sit, a steady presence, unmovable. So unlike whatever he’s seen from a future version of his family. 

“It’s easier for you to talk about your past with me instead of the others, huh?” He remarks softly. 

The smile shatters in pieces. Casey’s throat is dry. “...Yeah.”

He tilts his head to the side, patient. Continues in the same gentle tone, “It’s because Raph was dead for you too long, wasn’t I?”

A trip in his beating heart, and he flits his gaze away. More memories burn behind his eyelids, every instance of his Sensei and his Masters getting a melancholy look on their faces, talking about their big brother like he’d been their north star, a beacon guiding them in their own darkness. Like losing him had crumbled the ground they stood on, leaving them broken and astray. 

A more stark picture comes to mind, a large portrait of an older Raphael in the shrine room of their base, covered in scars but grinning with joy at a camera. How there was always a candle burning right under it, bright and unwavering. 

Still, Raphael seems to show no emotion either way, just waits for him to answer. Casey bites his lips, anxiously picking at his nails.

“Are you… are you upset?” He asks, genuinely not sure. 

He exhales sharply through his nose. “Nah, not really – at least, not anymore. It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out. You never wanted to be near the three of them unless you were helping them out, you only ever hung out with me or Dad. I’m guessing it was because we didn’t remind you of anyone, so it was easier with us.”

Well, so much for being subtle about it. Casey glances at him, a little ashamed. “Sorry.”

“Like I said, Case, nothing for you to be sorry about.” Raphael bumps his knee with his again. “I just wish I could have been there for you.”

‘I wish I could have been there for him’, Sensei’s voice comes back to him, an aching memory as they both stared at the hilt of his sword, red silk wrapped reverently under his shaking fingers. ‘It’s all I can think about sometimes. He was always there for us when we needed him, he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He didn’t deserve to die alone.’

“It was a routine supply mission. In 2032.” Casey recites after a moment. “Our base had just gotten a few more families, and clothes and food were running low. So it was you and Sensei, raiding a factory in New Jersey. Everything was going fine, it should have been easy. You’d done so many missions like this before.” He takes a shaky breath. “Sensei… he always said he never even saw the Krang mechs coming in. One minute it was quiet in the building, and the next, giant mechs and their hounds raided it. Sensei was trying to fend the hounds off the food, but somehow you got trapped trying to find a safe exit on the other side.” He fiddles with a strand of his hair. “Sensei said he wasn’t even able to catch sight of you once they started attacking, but he could feel the moment you… well.”

It’s silent for a beat, then Raphael sighs again forlornly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He replies quickly. “They were trying to destroy the resistance leader, they were targeting Sensei. You died destroying the mechs and killing those Krang, just to save him. I —” His voice cracks straight through the middle. “I would have done the same. For all of you.”

It should have made him feel better, at least one small part of the burden he’s been carrying given to someone else, a confidant with a listening ear. But instead, it makes a strong ache echo from deep within his chest. A threat from a dormant volcano finally starting to bubble beneath a crust of rock. Something long-ignored and burning, begging to be heard. 

“My mother died next.” Casey couldn’t stop himself if he tried. “Lieutenant Cassandra Jones. 2035. A recon team went MIA in Maine, so she led a rescue team to get them back.” He wipes his nose roughly. “She left the day of my sixth birthday. Told me she was going to get me a present – a brand new teddy bear, none of the old hand-me-downs from the base. She never came back. My Mom left and never came back.”

Raphael gives him a despondent look as he continues, ears and neck hot, feeling the rush of an emotion he can’t name. “Then – then in 2040, Commander April O’Neil died. We were raiding a large Krang base in Massachusetts, everyone had been preparing for weeks. They were trying to put a dent in their mechs and ships to slow them down. But one of the rooms in the armory was a trap, and she got locked inside alone.” His lip quivers tremulously. “Sensei tried to get her out, but he couldn’t make portals in the future. And before he could call for backup, the Krang… blew the chamber up.”

There’s horrified gasp from his audience, but Casey barely hears it, lost in the cresting wave of sorrow.

“And then.” The words are clogging up his throat like they’re poison. “In 2042, we lost M-Master…” His voice breaks again. “My Uncle Tello.”

“No.” Raphael lets out an agonized whisper. “No, no, no. You didn’t – there’s no way—”

“There is!” He snaps. “He did! My Uncle Tello died. Don’t you get it? I lost everyone.” He jumps up, agitated and hurting. “They all died, Raphael. They’re all dead. ”

The sheen of unshed and shocked tears in his eyes sends a sharp pang of guilt through him, but it’s quickly overshadowed by his grief. “H-he was piloting a jet back from the Mount Ranier sanctuary in Washington. The Krang destroyed their entire electrical grid, and only he could help. Out of everyone in the fucking country, he was the only one with a brain big enough to do something about it. And he did!” He scoffed out a laugh. “Worked for two weeks straight until Ranier became the most secure base in the west coast! He was on his way back when a Krang missile shot him out of the fucking air.” 

He can’t bear to look at Raphael right now, but he hears his ragged breathing through the ringing in his ears. 

“I was talking to him.” Casey whispers. “I was in his lab, wearing his hoodie, and we were joking about Sensei. We were laughing. And then out of nowhere I – I heard him gasp over the call and—” His words dissolved into a sob, the memory haunting him. The boom of a sudden explosion cutting off into a dark and deafening silence.

Raphael’s hoarse voice echoes in the empty sewer basin. “Casey. ”

Something about the horror in his tone pisses him off. “What?” Casey spins around, words sharp as a whip, glaring. “What, Raphael? You want me to stop? Is this ‘too much’ for you?” The fire in his chest crackles and pops, burning, burning. “This was my life. The Krang picked off people that I loved, that I cared about, that I saw every day at the base, one-by- fucking -one. Until they finally won the goddamn war. They raided our base, our home, and drove us out until they made sure we were all dead.” He runs a wild hand through his hair, pacing away.

Cruel, he’s being cruel. Casey knows that. To taunt Raphael with the death of his loved ones would be to forsake almost everything he’s been taught about kindness and empathy by his teachers. By his family. By his Master. 

“My Uncle Angie,” he says in a strangled voice, “was the most powerful mystic warrior in the world. The Krang could never stand a chance against him. So powerful that they couldn’t even trap his Ninpō like he did Sensei’s or Tello’s. He could build chains out of nothing and throw buildings with a flick of his wrist.” His breath stutters. “He made the portal to send me back in time.”

Bursts of orange linger in his mind, flowing robes and glowing eyes. The flash of a final, radiant wink against fiery gold. Cruel. That had been cruel too. 

“Sensei asked him to make that portal.” Casey swallows against the bitter feeling, gripping the edge of his shirt with a shaking hand. “Angie told him that making a time gateway like that would take everything he had. And Sensei still told him to do it.” 

The volcano finally erupts, magma spreading through his body and burning under his skin. “Sensei knew it would kill him, Angie told him it would. And he still made him create the portal. I literally watched him die – he disintegrated in front of me. And then Sensei pushed me into the portal while I watched him die in a laser blast too!

“And for what?” Casey rounds back, fury radiating off him. “Master Leonardo practically sentenced his little brother to die, and for what? For this? This stupid, loud, confusing world, with people I don’t even know? Where the sky is perfectly blue and snow is perfectly white? I can’t live off the time stolen from my Uncle’s life. I can’t.”

He digs his nails harshly into the flesh of his arm. “I – I feel them sometimes. The Krang. Their tentacles on me. The cold, pink slime. I know it’s not there anymore, but I can’t stop feeling it. I can’t stop seeing yellow eyes everywhere I go. What is wrong with me? I feel like I’m going crazy – is this my life now? Is this what Sensei died for? And I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do— ”

Raphael steps directly into his space and fiercely wraps his large arms around him. 

It feels nothing like the slithering grip of the Krang. In fact, it feels nothing like any person who’s ever held him at all. The bone-crushing pressure from all sides jarrs him out of his turmoil almost immediately, the raw strength nearly lifting him off the ground. He takes a shaky breath against the rush of positive physical feedback, blinking away the tears. 

Another memory comes to mind, a gloomy day in the apocalypse after a devastating mission. His Uncle Tello shoulder to shoulder with his twin, hunched over a broken metal head-piece, tears staining his mask. 

‘What do you need right now?’ Sensei whispered, running a gentle finger over the smooth remains of SHELL-DON.

His Uncle huffed wetly, the sound full of longing from where Casey was eavesdropping from the door, watching him scrunch up into a tight ball, visibly shaking. Looking like he wanted to disappear from the world. ‘I’d do anything for a Raphie hug. Can you get that back?’

He feels the vibrations of Raphael’s voice through his plastron now, a grumble that seems to settle something deep within him. “I am so sorry, Casey. I am so, so sorry.”

He sounds downright distraught. Casey closes his eyes. “It’s okay, Raphael.”

“It’s not. It’s not okay. None of this is okay.” He sniffles. “I’m so sorry.”

“It is, let it go. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity!” Raphael rips them apart just to stare down at him intensely. “I’m not pitying you, Case. I feel horrible for the horrible things you went through. I - I can’t even imagine the pain you must be in, I should have figured it out before.”

“It’s not your fault.” He lamely pats the hand wrapped around his arm. “I wasn’t exactly advertising it. It didn’t want any of you to know.” 

The look he gives him makes him think that’s probably not what he wanted to hear. Casey tsks. “I didn’t, okay? I thought, I don’t know. That I could just… deal with it all on my own.”

Raphael sighs again, and it irks him, especially when he says, “That’s not healthy, Case.”

A surge of irritation. “Oh, fuck off. You weren’t there, you don’t get to tell me what’s healthy and what’s not.”

“You’re right, I wasn’t.” He says firmly, not backing down. “And I’m not an idiot, I’m not going to pretend to know the kind of shit you’ve seen in your life and I’m sure as hell not going to tell you what you should and shouldn’t have done. But I know for a fact that under all that anger and sadness is a crapton of buried guilt. I know what that looks like. I know what that feels like.”

Casey swallows, caught-out, as he continues, “Maybe not to the same extent as you, but I understand what it feels like to live with the fact that someone else’s sacrifice is the only reason you’re still alive. That happened with my Gram-Gram. That almost happened with Leo.”

The words leave his mouth before he can stop them, “It’s not the same.”

“You’re right.” Raphael says simply. “Because what you’ve gone through is so much worse.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, you’ve also gone through—”

“Shut.” He stops him, holding his palm just over his mouth, effectively shutting him up. “We’re not playing the Pain Lair Games. Raph’s being honest. I don’t know anything about your time or your loss. But.” He says pointedly. “I do know my brothers. I know Leo and Mikey and Donnie, through and through. No matter the time, age, or life. Even better than you. And I know for a fact, family is everything to them.

“It makes me so mad,” he continues, eye-ridges in a painful frown, “to think that the Krang ever put my family, our family, in so much danger. That they had to die. That they were… killed.” He takes a deep breath and glares at him with so much fervor he can’t look away. “But I can guarantee you that Leo and Mikey would never have made the choice to sacrifice themselves to get you here if they didn’t think it was worth it. I know how much Leo loves Mikey, and how much Mikey trusts Leo. They both made a choice, you don’t have to carry the torch of their deaths. It’s not on you.”

Casey’s lip tremored. “That can’t be true. They wouldn’t have had to do that, at all, if it wasn’t for me. I… got them killed. I was their burden.”

“Kid,” Raphael says helplessly, and it squeezes his heart because of how familiar it sounds. “You were their family, the same way they were yours. I told you, for them family is everything, worth sacrificing everything. They would have done anything to keep you alive.”

“To what end?” He bursts out. “They sent me back here to be safe, but for what?” He kicks off some dirt from the ramp, tight with it. “What did they want me to do, now that the Krang is gone? What did they send me here for?”

“They sent you here to be loved, Casey Junior.” 

That brings him to a full stop, the answer to the question plaguing his mind for weeks, given to him with such unwavering conviction. Once again, he lets out a hurting laugh. “You have to be fucking kidding me, Raphael.”

“I’m not.” He replies, serious. “I know how it sounds, I get it. Yes, they sent you here to help us stop the Krang. But Case, they also sent you here to be loved. To be cared for. To live in a world with food and water and safety—”

“There is no way.” Casey cuts him off immediately, brushing off his hand and turning away with blurry eyes. “There is no way. There was no place safer and more loving than with my Sensei and my Uncle Angie. So what if we ended up losing our home to the Krang by the end? We would have rebuilt! We would have survived! We would have been together. ”

The worst part is that, despite his own words, he can’t help but believe Raphael whole-heartedly. Because, if what he’s saying is true, it would truly be such a Hamato Leonardo move. The guy was the leader of the resistance, the greatest ninja the world had ever seen, a shining beacon of hope and strength in the apocalypse, and yet he was always the first to give up on himself. Only he would think that his love, which Casey needed like oxygen, could be replaced by a parody.

Raphael doesn’t mind the interruption. He just seems to study him scrutinizingly. As if Casey’s a particularly complicated puzzle, and he’s finally gotten a clue.

“Would you?” He asks quietly.

Embers of simmering lava spark in indignation. He turns back to face him, straight back and steel glare. “What?” 

The sharp tone does nothing to deter him. Instead, he suddenly says, “Do you know the story of how Leo became leader?” 

“I – what?”

“It was a few days after we beat the Shredder. Dad just randomly told us Leo was going to take charge now. It came out of nowhere, none of us were expecting it. It took a lot of arguing, until Dad finally told us why. Because Leo was, apparently, a better strategist than me.”

Raphael laughs ruefully. “Not an easy thing to hear, I’ll tell you that much. I got so… angry. And hurt. All we did for days was just fight. It was part of the reason why we lost the key in the first place.” He sighs, but when he looks up, Casey sees the sheer pride in his eyes. “But Dad turned out to be right at the end. Leo really is the best of us at strategy. At chess, at sparring, at thinking ahead. He’ll worm his way out of any problem, there’s no one better at it than him.” He gives him a wry smile. “But you already knew that right? He was your sensei.”

An incoming, unthinkable understanding. Emotions storm in Casey’s chest wildly. “W-what are you saying?”

‘That’s it.’ A flashback. His Sensei, injured and exhausted, running away from their destroyed home, Krang mechs surrounding them on all sides. Intelligent eyes searching the landscape for a way out, a solution to their predicament, before eventually shutting in defeat. ‘The resistance failed. The Krang won.’

No, he’d immediately thought, heart in his throat, refusing to accept it. No, no, no. 

“Leo is a lot of things.” Raphael continues. “Strong-headed, a little arrogant. A complete idiot, sometimes. But where it counts, he will always keep fighting. And I know for a fact he would have made you take this risk if he didn’t think the fight was already lost.”

Casey shakes his head again, heart thudding loudly. “No, no, that’s not true, the Krang hadn’t won. They just wrecked our base, that’s all. Sensei gave up too early, we would have been alright.”

Raphael gives him such a forlorn, pitiful look that it punches him in the gut. “When have you and I ever known Leo to give up, Casey?”

Never, unless it was a tactical surrender. Unless it was between a Hail Mary, or certain doom. Casey’s quivering hands grasp at his upper arms, digging into the flesh. He thinks about the blood soaking Sensei’s plastron, his heaving breaths against his ear as they ran for their lives. The exhaustion on Angie’s brows and the shake in his fingers as he summoned the chains to rescue them for the umpteenth time.

“No – we would have been fine. I wouldn’t have lost them too.”

“Remember how I said thunderstorms are my greatest fear?” Raphael asks, voice even quieter. Casey hysterically wonders how he can sound so gentle even though he can see how much his words are hurting him. “Well, do you know what Leo’s greatest fear is?”

“No, listen to me, Angie would’ve – Sensei would’ve—”

“It’s to be abandoned.” He finishes. “The emotion he can’t control, is this fear that one day he’ll wake up and realize that all the people he cared for were eventually taken away from him. And that’s the one thing he couldn’t let happen to you.” 

“Well, he failed miserably then.” Casey spits out unthinkingly. Undeniably distraught, undeniably betrayed. 

It would have ended the same way after all, he realizes, as tears spill from his eyes. One more mission, one more night without food or water, one last dirty wrap over their wounds. Casey would’ve lost his only remaining family either way. It was bound to end in him abandoned. Alone. Unloved. 

His greatest fear. 

His fiery anger dissipates, drenched in a dark tempest of sorrow and grief. Visions of a frigid life stranded alone in the apocalypse play in his mind, an existence that would have been his if it wasn’t for Angie’s and Sensei’s sacrifice, as the storm rages and roars. He’d spent so many days bristling in his rage, the unfairness that they’d taken away his freedom to choose his own life. But there wasn’t a choice at all. It was either this, or certain doom. 

His sobs echo up to the open grate with the birds and the clouds, barely muffled by the plastron hugging him tightly once again. A warm, three-fingered hand strokes his back, comforting, safe. 

Casey thuds both his fists against Raphael’s chest with all his strength, barely even nudging him.

“Y-you’re kind of fucked up for that, you know?” He croaks. “Why did you have to tell me that? Why couldn’t you just let me live in denial, huh?”

Raphael squeezes him once. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you? Really?”

He hesitates in response, and Casey scoffs, moving to pull away. He could go run and hide in another corner of the sewers, tame the howling feelings on his own terms. But Raphael doesn’t let him go, in fact tightening his grip. 

“Let me go.” Casey sniffles, sounding more petulant than demanding.

“It wasn’t just that you were in denial, Case.” Raphael sounds desperate, like if he doesn’t keep him there he would somehow disappear. “It wasn’t that simple. If you just wanted to avoid thinking about something, fine, that would have been fine. But you were… withering away.”

He barks out a laugh, an unbidden memory of his uncle crumbling away into pieces in front of him. Withering away, disappearing. “No. I really wasn’t.”

“You were. You lived in the lair, but you were hardly even there most of the time. Sitting at a table silently for hours. Zoning out watching stupid shows I know you weren’t even listening to. Barely moving, barely even responding when any of us tried to talk to you. You always just looked so… blank.” Raphael sighs. “I’m sorry we – I – pushed you so much. But I needed to know, I needed you to tell me what you were really feeling. Because… shit, kid, you’re scaring the hell out of me.”

Casey’d seen cases like that back in his time. So many people losing so many people. Shock and mourning leaving them husks of who they were. Completely blank, unpresent. Glazed eyes staring unblinkingly, one gentle prod and the glass would shatter. 

He recalls his training, mentally running through a few check-lists of symptoms, and immediately cringes away at how accurate some of them were for him. He buries his face against Raphael, weakly protesting, “I'm not doing that bad.”

He squeezes him once more, an answer in itself. The pressure automatically loosens some of the tension in his body. 

“Leo has been researching for a while, on post-traumatic stress.” Raphael begins. “Mikey has been doing a bunch of readings on grief and loss. Donnie has been looking up potential people and resources for help.” He brushes back Casey’s ruly hair tucked under his chin, a comforting hug. “You've been worrying all of us for a while now.”

Casey’s lip trembles, awash with such apparent concern he doesn’t know what to do. An involuntary dark thought sours his mood, and he looks away. “Thanks, but… I hope you know you guys don’t owe me anything. Whatever I did to help you, I would have done it anyway.”

He’s suddenly flicked quite forcefully, right in the middle of his forehead. Casey rears back in surprise, rubbing his head. “ Ow ?”

“This is what I do to my brothers when they’re being dum-dums.” Raphael glares at him vehemently. “Do you seriously think that the only reason we care about you is because you doctored us back to health like we owe you a ‘life-debt’ ? What is this, the Italian mob? It’s either let us repay your debt or dishonor our name? Seriously?"

Casey looks up at him dumbly. “I have no clue what the hell you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about the fact that we care about you because you’re our family, you giant idiot.” Raphael finally exclaims, exasperatedly. “The Hamato clan watches out for its own. You don't have to go through this alone.”

His hands squeeze his shoulders again. “I see so much of us in you, Case. Not just the medical or technical smarts. The real parts of us. You have Leo’s courage and Donnie’s wisdom and Mikey’s heart. You have April’s grit, and Cassandra’s toughness. You are Hamato through and through.” Raphael snorts, shoving his head back affectionately. “And unfortunately, I am required by law to take care of my siblings.”

Casey swipes at his face, sniffling loudly again. “Yeah. Anatawa hitorijanai. ”

Raphael smiles, setting a gentle, warm hand on top of his head. And Casey suddenly feels four instead of fourteen, echoes of years worth of fond head cradles crashing into him. He closes his eyes and lets himself lean into it. He’s so tired. He misses his family. He’s so tired. 

“What do I do, Raphael?” He finally begs of him, emotionally wrung out. The weight of his ill-fated existence sinks deep into his bones, too heavy for him to bear. Darkness inside him making way for murky grey smog, low visibility of any sustainable life. 

“Well, first off, you start calling Raph, Raph.” He responds primly, making Casey unexpectedly snort. “The only person who ever calls me Raphael is Donnie when he’s trying to be more stuck-uppy than usual.”

“Stuck-uppy?” Casey lets out a warped laugh. 

He rolls his eyes. “Stuck-uppy. Pretentious. Flamboyant. Ostentatious. Just because Raph doesn’t use big-boy words does not mean he doesn’t know ‘em.”

Casey chuckles wetly. Raph grins brightly at the sound.

“And second off,” he continues, “we’re going back to the lair. And this time, we’re not going to avoid or hide from the others, okay? We’re actually going to talk to them.”

Even though he detests that idea, he can’t help but appreciate that’s making it seem like the two of them are in this together. Still, he makes a face. “How on earth do you expect that to help?” 

“It’s going to help you stop being alone.” Raph replies, hitting the target at point-blank range. His face flushes. “That’s what your sensei would have wanted, so that’s what we’re going to do. Doesn’t matter what you do with them, but we’re going to make sure you’re not isolating again. Support systems are important for addressing grief.”

A horrible thought comes to mind before he can reply to that, making him suddenly stop. “Oh god, are you —” He looks up at him with wide eyes. “Are you going to make me talk to a ‘shrink’?”

Raph blinks. “What.” 

Casey continues frantically, quickly getting anxious. “Back there, everyone used to make shrink jokes. Like, a lady in glasses with a notepad and pen, making you sit in an uncomfortable chair, and asking you how you’re feeling today? Are you going to make me do that?” 

There’s a pause, before Raph bursts into laughter. The sound is so unexpected and so pure something in Casey’s chest lurches. 

“Is – is that what you think a therapist is?”

“Well – yeah!” He insists. “That’s what Sensei used to say. Him and everyone else.”

He wipes a tear from his eye, still chortling. Casey’s lip turns up despite himself. “Well, he’s not entirely wrong actually. But there’s not always an uncomfy chair, really. Sometimes it's a sofa. And sometimes it's a dude with a notepad instead of a lady. Still with glasses though.”

Casey can’t tell if he’s being fucked with or not. “Are you fucking with me?”

He snorts in response. “No. Well, maybe a little. Those three aren’t the only ones who did their research.” He peers down at him. “Do you want to talk to a shrink?”

At this moment, nothing sounded worse than having to tell an untraumatized stranger about his feelings when he was barely ready to acknowledge them himself. Much less air out the fact that he was apparently a scientific anomaly since he broke the space-time continuum in half. “No, I definitely do not want to talk to a shrink.”

Raph shrugs. “Okay. We’ll figure something else out.”

Casey gapes at him as he walks away, climbing down the high ramp. “Wait – really?”

“Yeah.” He doesn’t look back. “Of course. I get it. I don’t like talking about my emotions either. And since you’re Leo’s son, I am ninety percent sure there’s already an unhealthy amount of emotional suppression going on. We can work on that later.”

He chuckles once more, a short but genuine sound, not missing how Raph hides his smile again. “So I don’t have to expect a visit from Dr. Feelings?”

“Nope, and no Dr. Delicate Touch either. If they bother you, I’ll punch them.”

Casey suddenly pauses, not following him. Raph turns around when he stops hearing his footsteps, seeing him twist his hands together nervously. 

“Do you think—” He licks his dry lips. Draws from the well of courage instilled in him by his sensei. “Do you think they would be… okay with this?”

Raph tilts his head at him. Discerning, older brother eyes trying to solve a younger brother problem. It almost makes him smile. “Okay with what?”

“Just. This.” Clenching and unclenching his hands in painful configurations, the sharp feedback racing up his arms. “If I… don’t think about them so much anymore?”

Raph’s eyes widen, and then soften with emotion, as he continues, “I know you keep saying that I’m not alone, and you guys can let me be a part of your family. But… I can’t stop thinking about my family. But if thinking about them hurts me, and they wouldn’t want me to hurt anymore… should I stop? Can I stop?”

Casey thinks back to the day he lost his mom. He was a tiny, screaming six year old, refusing to accept that the most important person in the world was never coming back to him. Through the tears in his eyes, silhouettes of turtles surrounded him, trying to soothe him to no avail. The thought of ever moving on from her, from the ever-lasting misery of that loss, seemed unimaginable. 

He doesn’t know how that sharp pain dulled down to a small ache. He doesn’t remember how many days it took until he didn’t cry every evening waiting for her to come home. If he’d done right by her that he’d ever stopped at all. 

The day he lost his Aunt Apes. The sheer horror of the news that spread through the base like wildfire and made him drop to his knees in shock. The floundering sobs that consumed and wrecked him – how long did it take to recover from that?

The night he sat in Uncle Tello’s lab and heard the call cut off into ringing silence. The way all of the equipment lights turned from purple to red, the quiet alert sent to his remaining family. He hadn’t even cried that day. He’d just curled onto the floor, numbly in shock, until Sensei broke down the door with tears streaming down his devastated face. He doesn’t really think he ever got over that.  

How long would it take for these new wounds to heal? How many times must he be reminded of the injury before the fresh skin starts to settle in?

“You never stop thinking about them, Case.” Raph replies, steadily. Frank. Kind. “They’re always there with you, in your heart, in the Spirit Realm. But it does get better. You learn to accept their loss and honor the people you lost. And you and I know the best way to honor this family, in life or in death.”

“To never give up hope.”

“And to always be there for each other.” He finishes.

Casey breathes. Once, twice. Inhale, hold, exhale. The pain in his chest echoes once more, before quieting down, a bearable weight. He smiles at Raph and takes the proffered hand.

Later, when he finally gets back, his new family is waiting for him. Leonardo steps up, apologies ready on his lips, but Casey doesn’t let him start before he engulfs him in a tight hug. A few more tears escape as shaking arms embrace him with equal fervor. 

“I’m so sorry.” Leonardo still confesses brokenly. 

He shakes his head. “Anatawa hitorijanai. You were right. You were right.”

Michelangelo encircles him from behind, giving them a tight squeeze full of affection. And all Casey can do is close his eyes and feel like he’s with his Sensei and Uncle, basking in their love from realms away.

Donatello rubs a gentle hand on his upper arm, and Casey peeks up at him, spying the soft smile on his face. An endless depth of care under a stoic exterior. He informs him matter-of-factly, “I’m going to implant a tracker in you, CJ-squared.”

He chokes out a laugh, both at the idea and painfully familiar nickname. “I already have three.”

Behind them, Raph laughs, his other brothers joining in as Donatello looks equal parts shocked and intrigued. Their father walks into the living room, stepping in with silent feet. There is a cup of something sweet-smelling in his hands, steam curling above it. 

He walks up as Casey disentangles from them, kneeling in front of him to meet him in the eye. It feels wrong to be in the presence of the esteemed Lou Jitsu by looking down at him.

“Casey.” Master Splinter says, a gravelly but proud voice. “My boy. I may not have known you in the future, but I can tell you very honestly that you are one of the bravest men I have ever had the privilege of meeting. And the blessing of having in my home. But you have been far too burdened for far too long.” He offers him the cup, the surface of the warm liquid glistening in the fairy lights of the lair. “Here. It’s a Hamato secret blend. Special.” He winks. “Only for family.”

Casey accepts the tea, staring at the face before him. A similar image comes to his mind, an old, worn picture he hasn’t looked at in months. He cracks a watery smile. “Thanks, Jiji.”

His Jiji’s eyes immediately fill up, as he turns away to weep directly onto Michelangelo’s shoulder, who pats his back comfortingly, shooting a blinding grin his way.

Casey Junior has mixed feelings about the past. His past. He doesn’t know how to stop them, doesn’t know if they ever will. But he does know how to deal with them. He has new orders, and a new readiness to survive. 

Looking at the family before him, he believes he can.

[aquilamage]

i have exactly one thought about stuff that happens after my Leif & Vi fic (either version): the True Ending is that queen bianca has absolutely zero visible reaction to Vi's haircut

[pholla-jm]

Heir (2)

IMAGINE: HEIR~ SUKUNA X WIFE!READER GENRE: FLUFF cw: sukuna is a bit ooc. f!reader. true form sukuna. not proof read

If you haven't read the first part, here it is: Heir. ***************

As months went by, your stomach got bigger and rounder. Your back was certainly hurting, feet aching, and a constant need to go pee. 

You almost hated every second of it. 

If it wasn’t for the fact you were bringing life into the world, you would’ve hated every second of it. 

Someone that was almost more excited than you was your lover, Sukuna. He was dead set on the baby being a boy. He was so excited to raise a boy to create a future heir. 

He even already picked out a name for him. Akumu, not a common name but it was one that Sukuna liked and it was set. 

However, you had a feeling that you were having a daughter. But, Sukuna was not hearing any of that. But just in case, you picked out a name just in case it was a girl. You wanted to have a similar vibe that Sukuna wanted so you chose Yumekui. 

You were very close to your due date and you were extremely nervous. You felt like you weren’t ready. You felt the nursery wasn’t ready or that things weren’t baby proofed enough. 

That’s why you paced around the castle, trying to get things ready. You didn’t care that your feet ached and your back was crying for help. All you cared about was making sure that everything was ready and perfect for the baby.

You know who did care? Sukuna. He didn’t like how you are constantly on your feet, pacing around and just being worried in general. 

“Woman.” Sukuna calls out once he finds you wandering the halls. You turn to him, already knowing you’re about to get scolded. “You should be resting.” You pout a little, “but do you see that over there?” You say while pointing to an area where a sharp corner was protruding. 

Sukuna follows your finger, “yeah. What about it?” “What if the baby hurts themselves from that?” Sukuna rolls his eyes, “you’re being paranoid. Our son will be strong. A corner is not going to harm him.” 

There’s that word again. Son. You often thought about what his reaction would be if it was a daughter instead. Would he be mad? Would he kick the both of you out? Would he kill the child? All these negative thoughts clouded your mind daily. 

That’s why when the time came, you really didn’t want Sukuna in the room- just the midwives. However, Sukuna wanted to be in the room with you and no one was really going to defy his orders. 

Sukuna was being super supportive though during the whole process. He held your hand and let you squeeze as hard as you wanted, even though it felt like a little pinch to him. He also kept a clean towel to wipe the sweat off of you. Even the sly cursing didn’t affect him. 

The process felt like hours and you were sure you looked like a hot mess. Sukuna didn’t care though. In his eyes you were still the most beautiful woman. 

You could feel the baby coming through and it was only confirmed by the midwife when she said the head was crowning and you only needed to do a couple more pushes. 

You were happy to hear that as you started to feel more tired and weak with every second that passed by. 

Finally, you heard the sound of an infant crying. Relief washed through your body. Until you heard the words you didn’t want to hear.

“Congratulations. It’s a girl.” 

You felt Sukana’s grip on your hand loosen until he completely lets go of your hand.

You could feel your heart drop and your skin paled. You wanted to grab the baby before Sukuna did. But you were too weak to sit up correctly. 

“W-wait..” Your voice only came out as a whisper as your back hit the bed. “I want..” You couldn’t speak anymore as your head lolled to the side. You could feel a midwife trending to your side. 

The last thing you saw was the midwife holding the child and Sukuna walking up to the child. You could see the subtle frown on his face as he looked down at the small baby. After that, your vision went black as you went into a peaceful slumber. 

*************

Everything felt sore. Extremely sore. It took you a minute to come to your senses. But when you remember your situation, you sit up. Hoping to find your daughter safe and sound. 

However, what you saw was the last thing you expected.

Your daughter was swaddled, in the crib sound asleep. 

What shocked you even more was Sukuna. The man who said who wanted a son, stood at the crib admiring his child. 

His large body was bent over so his arms were crossed and leaning against the edge. His head was tilted to the side and resting on his arms. You would have never guessed you would see a sight like this. He looked almost… soft. All though, you would never say that to him. 

Sukuna heard the rustling of the sheets causing him to sit up a little. 

“I’m glad you’re awake.” He says and you nod your head. 

“Are you mad?” You softly ask him. “Why would I be mad?” “You know… for having a daughter. Not a son, like you wanted.” 

Sukuna laughs, but not too loudly to wake the baby. 

Sure, he was a bit upset when he heard that it was a girl. But as soon as her eyes opened, the same red color as his, he swore he could feel his heart stop. The cries were weak and pathetic in his opinion. However, when the midwife handed her over to him, her cries stopped. The baby looked up at him with wonder and she showed him a gummy smile. 

Sukuna would never tell you that as soon as her cries stopped he started to love the child. 

“No. She’s so small. I decided that having a daughter isn’t too bad.” You chuckle at his answer and peer over the crib, getting a good look at your daughter. 

Even though she was a few hours old, you could tell that she was Sukuna’s daughter. You could only imagine what she would look like when she gets older.

“She looks just like you.” You mutter, a little upset that you carried her for so long and she came out looking like her father. 

“Of course she does. My genetics are strong.” “Hmm, we’ll see with the next baby.” 

Sukuna grins at your words, “the next baby? Already planning for another?” “Wait, wait,” you giggle while holding your hand up, “I don’t mean that just yet. I still have to heal.”  Sukuna hums, silently agreeing. “Next time, it’ll be a boy. I’ll make sure of it.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @lotuskassagi

[dat-town]

one look (and it's over)

Characters: student representative!Leehan & content creator!female reader

Setting & genre: high school au, fluff, coming of age, fake dating for like 30 seconds

Summary: You took one look at Kim Leehan and thought you had him all figured out. But oh he was so much more than that and somehow he became a stable point in your uncertain future.

Warnings: stage names are used, OC refers to Leehan as pretty boy and is annoyed by him in the beginning, OC has one neglectant comment about harassment against boys but regrets it immediately, Leehan has this popularity thing going on with all its consequences, people tend to touch him without his consent and it does bother him but tends to play it off, he also reveals an insecurity about his looks at one point

Words: 7.8k

Author’s note: this is also the product of the amount of Ann Liang books i binge read recently, the instagram algorithm and @restlessmaknae’s marketing for Zico’s kids. partly inspired by who! trailer film and Leehan’s iconic “how can she not like me when i look like this?” title is from Leo’s One Look

despite all the spoilers i hope you like it @restlessmaknae <3

read Taesan’s companion piece here

The first time you met Leehan, he said you were his girlfriend.

Not to you but to another stranger, a girl very obviously flirting with him and you felt like an awkward third wheel standing there with your camera in hand.

“Oh,” the girl with thigh socks and manicured fingers pouted after giving you a once-over as if cataloging what she lost against but then she mumbled out a sorry and made a beeline towards her friends in the back of the room.

The boy next to you let out a relieved sigh and that was what managed to snap you out of your stupor.

“Did you just use me to get out of having to say no?” You hissed and glared at him despite the height difference. Lucky for him you weren’t a fan of public humiliation, so you didn’t call him out on the lie loudly while the girl from before was still so close but it didn’t mean you supported his rude behavior. However, the boy didn’t look like he was feeling guilty.

“I did say no. Twice. She was being pushy,” he explained, letting out a frustrated huff as he looked down at you. “I know her type, this was the easiest and kindest way to let her down.”

“You talk as if you had so much experience,” you snorted, the urge to roll your eyes too strong but nothing could have prepared you for the boy’s reaction.

“Well… yeah,” he simply confirmed with a small nod after barely hesitating and just pointed at his face. His stupid handsome face because if you wanted to be honest, he looked exactly like the type of guy girls your age would be daydreaming about. His hazel brown, longer locks framed his freckled face nicely and his orbs reflected the blue lights of the aquariums around you behind his stylish glasses. You weren’t even sure he needed those or if they were just a fashion item like his baggy jeans and plaid shirt were. He looked like the kind of boy who thought they were too good for everybody.

“Alright,” you muttered, sarcasm dripping off your tone before turning your back on him and heading towards the tunnel under the shark aquarium because you wanted nothing to do with the likes of him. Briefly you wondered whether the girl from before saw this and thought you were the jealous kind of girlfriend but you had better things to do than worrying about that.

Unfortunately, the pretty boy didn’t get the memo and managed to catch up to you quickly. His stupid long legs easily kept up with your steps.

“Hey, wait up. It would be weird if we went separate ways and she found me again.”

“Not my problem,” you reminded him and the guy had the audacity to look like a kicked puppy with his doe eyes. It was unfair. You sighed. “Whatever. Just stay quiet.”

The guy did not in fact stay quiet. He babbled about random fun facts about the sea animals you were seeing, pointing out cool hiding ones you would have missed otherwise and he seemed to know more fish species than you ever heard of in your life.

“How do you know all this?” Your curiosity got the worse out of you at one point when he was talking about the coral reef and star fishes in such detail your past Biology teachers would have been ashamed of their own knowledge.

“Oh. I come here a lot,” pretty boy answered with a shrug and a big smile, his pearl white teeth glittering under the fluorescent lights. “Would you like me to take a picture of you? It’s one of the last rooms.”

Out of instinct you were about to tell him no because you were used to taking your own pictures but thinking about it for a moment, it was only right. He lied about you being his girlfriend and stuck to your side, so you couldn’t film like you planned. The least he could do was to take some pictures.

“Sure,” you handed him your camera and stood in front of the colorful aquarium, posing naturally, then you turned towards the fish and poked the glass between you. The boy didn’t even complain and later you had to admit that he did take it seriously. The photos came out nice enough to set one of them as your new profile picture.

“I’m Leehan by the way,” he said as he handed back your camera and as if on cue, your phone started ringing. You glanced at the caller’s handle before answering, sandwiching the phone between your shoulder and ear to take the camera back.

“Hi, mom. I will be out in a minute,” you said, waving the guy goodbye just to not be rude while you listened to your mother explaining the location of the parking spot she found. You might not meet ever again but you could be well mannered about it even if his previous attitude still bothered you.

When you were younger, you wanted to become many things: idol, actress, tv show host, news anchor… You had always had the passion of performing and ever since you had won the beauty pageant in your region when you had been 4 years old, you had kept hearing that you had the face for these things, too. As if having been a pretty baby helped much with teenager pimples and acne scars.

It was a bit more than three years ago when you decided to take your fate into your hands and do something with this interest of yours. During the summer after your middle school graduation, your family moved to Jeju, so your parents could oversee the opening of the new branch of their business. Not knowing anybody around there but loving the beautiful spots, you started making weekly videos about your days, studying, discovering bakeries and stationary stores. A term passed and life brought you to Gwangju, then Daegu, then last time Daejeon. Over the years your content changed a bit focusing more on realistic high school life portrayal, aesthetics vlogs going around new towns and skincare tips you learned while your subscriber numbers increased gradually. By now, you were an established content creator with a loyal following and some long term sponsors. You only had one more year to graduate and then you could do this full time.

Unsurprisingly senior year had found you in a new city too, this time Seoul, and your viewers had been eager for new exploring types of content, so you had done your research and headed out to look around a bit before the upcoming term made you busy. That was how you had ended up at the aquarium too, not that you could salvage any footage from that day after meeting the arrogant pretty boy.

But oh, how wrong you were about not seeing him again. He was literally on the poster advertising your new school when you went to pick up your school uniform with your mom. Suddenly Seoul seemed to be a much smaller city than you expected it to be.

Small mercies though, at least you weren’t classmates. Not that it saved you from hearing the girls gush about him or his other popular friends. It was a typical high school thing, everywhere you went, school cliques and dynamics were all the same. As the new transfer student you fit in alright, but you had experience in that, in being the new kid in town. You got yourself some popularity too after one of the girls asked for your IG and saw your followers’ number and another classmate was watching your Youtube channel apparently. You didn’t become an outcast nor were you caught up in classroom drama, so it was all good just how you liked it to be.

It happened a few weeks into the term, on a nothing special Tuesday. You were sitting in the canteen with some of your classmates you befriended, spooning fried rice into your mouth and listening to Eunjoo squealing about the new Olive Young discounts, when you looked up and your eyes met a familiar set of brown eyes. The first thing you noticed was a sly smile on the boy’s lips then the second that he wasn’t wearing glasses, so either you were right about them being fake or he wore contact lenses.

You forced yourself to look away despite feeling his gaze on you and focused on the girls’ chatter about Innisfree’s new skincare collection, agreeing to go with them later to check it out. Suddenly, you heard a creak of chair legs dragged across the floor and the canteen quieting down for a long moment before the murmurs picked up. Then an empty tray with only remains of the daily lunch menu was slid onto the table across you and Wonhee on your left gasped.

“Hello, girls. Hello… Y/N,” came the now familiar smooth voice and you caught Leehan pointedly looking at the name tag over your uniform before locking eyes with you. “I didn’t know you go here.”

“I just transferred this year,” you said, unfazed but you couldn’t help but observe how different vibe did the boy give off now compared to the aquarium. Maybe it was the circumstances or maybe it was the uniform’s doing, the suit well-fitted, his necktie nicely made and the fabric’s tight stretch empathizing his broad shoulders. Nothing about him now indicated how laid back he had been back at the aquarium, how relaxed, if not for his lazy smile. Here he was composed, seemingly aware that each of his movements were followed by curious eyes. Huh, maybe he did have as much experience rejecting girls as he had claimed despite his age.

“Do you know each other?” Eunjoo chirped in, cutting your train of thoughts short.

“We ran into each other before,” you explained briefly and while it didn’t seem to satisfy the girls' curiosity, luckily Leehan didn’t seem keen on elaborating either.

“Well, it was good to see you again,” he nodded towards you then flashed a charming smile at your entire table before taking off, leaving a trail of whispers and gossip in the wake of his steps. You looked after him and wondered what Yongsan High’s prince wanted from you.

That could have been it. Acknowledging each other’s presence, greeting each other on the school hallways, nothing less, nothing more. That was until Principal Im called you into his office, offered you tea and mentioned that ‘it was brought to his knowledge that you were some sort of Internet persona’, his words, not yours. It felt weird talking about it with a teacher because none of your previous schools had a problem with it. But as it turned out it was quite the opposite. The principal wished to use your ‘expertise with standing in front of a camera’ to the school’s benefit. So that was how you ended up doing a photoshoot for the school’s Open Day with none other than Kim Leehan.

Although you had no actual modeling experience, the principal reassured you that you didn’t need to be professional for this kind of shoot. He was even delighted by the idea of you vlogging the experience for more exposure. So on the day of the shooting, you headed to the classroom assigned for the shoot right after classes and talked with the photographer about recording the entire session and set up your camera. You were doing last minute adjustments with the brightness and white light with the new angle after filming getting your hair and ‘no makeup’ makeup done by the stylist the school hired (like woah, they took it seriously) when Leehan showed up.

It was obvious that he had experience, he moved around the lighting and photography equipment with ease, charming everybody with his easy smile and kind greetings. He sat through getting his makeup to not glow or look tired on camera without a word of complaint and instead chatted with the woman about her dog. You caught yourself staring at his genuine smile a little too late.

“Y/N!” Leehan’s smile widened slowly, a little cheekily, showing his dimple and he shot up from his chair to walk up to you and your camera. “So it’s you.”

“It’s me,” you confirmed but you weren’t sure why he looked so giddy about it. Was he worried it would be some clingy fangirl of his?

“I heard you’re Internet famous,” he noted and then looked pointedly at the camera. “Are you going to film the shooting too?”

“That’s the plan. If that’s alright with you,” you looked at him, questioning. Even if he said no, you could record your solo parts and use just that and the preparation during editing. You wouldn’t have wanted to make anybody uncomfortable with your filming. Leehan however didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Sure, you can even put my face on the thumbnail,” he winked at you, teasing, right before the photographer called for you.

Even with all his playfulness, Leehan took the job seriously. Whether it was experience or natural talent, he had a knack for easing into natural behavior despite the constant click-clack of the camera and knew how to smile into it when it was needed to make the photographer satisfied. You took a bunch of photos depicting school life at Yongsan High: flipping through text books, fake writing essays, solving equations on the board and working in pairs on a task. You honestly weren’t sure why they needed so much for a simple Open Day brochure but it was a one of a kind experience and not at all bad.

“Thank you for your hard work,” the principal’s secretary distributed drinks for everyone when the shooting was wrapped up and you bid goodbye to every adult with polite bows before dismounting your own camera.

You didn’t expect Leehan to wait for you but for some reason, you weren’t all too surprised either.

“Want some?” He held something out for you and looking down you saw that it was a pack of shark shaped gummies. So random.

“No, thanks,” you shook your head and put your tripod and camera into your bag, ready to go. But you couldn’t without making a comment. “You’re pretty good at this. Modeling, I mean.”

“Hm. It’s good for extra pocket money,” Leehan shrugged between chewing two pieces of gummies. You were sure it wasn’t the first time he heard it from somebody. “And no, before you ask, I wasn’t paid for this either. I mean in general.”

With his face and overall good looks you weren’t surprised to hear that. Not to mention it was a positive thing that he had already found something to earn money with.

“Do you wanna do this after graduating?” You asked, suddenly curious because you realized that you didn’t know anything about him other than his fascination with sea animals, that everywhere he went girls just fell in love with him at first sight and that he acted like you were friends for a while when you had been nothing but strangers.

“Nah. Maybe as a side gig but hopefully I will get into a uni with marine studies,” he said and you knew that it was very judgemental of you to be surprised at his career choice, especially after seeing how enthusiastic he was at the aquarium but it only proved your stance that you barely knew each other. And apparently Kim Leehan kept surprising you.

“That’s cool,” you mumbled, not wanting to voice out your surprise in case he would think you thought of him as an air-headed pretty boy even if there would have been a tiny bit of truth in that.

“What about you? Will you turn content creation into a job?” He nodded towards the tripod in your hands. He didn’t ask about it in a way some of your more distant relatives did, condescending, like you were a child they needed to warn about how unstable of a career it was. He seemed genuinely curious, so you gave him an honest answer too.

“Well, I will try to. But I plan to get certificates for digital marketing too and maybe help others boost their online presence too,” you said because while your plans might not have been unheard of in this time and age, you knew that it was far from what your conservative country encouraged. If nothing worked out, your parents would have been glad to welcome you at their company too but you didn’t voice that out because you would have preferred paving your own way.

“That’s pretty cool, too. What’s your account’s name by the way?” Leehan asked, fishing out his phone ready to look it up and his eyes sparkling with curiosity which was unfair really because it made it hard to say no to him. “Oh come on, I’m sure I could ask any of your friends.”

You knew he was right, he could even just search your name on Naver and find it. You weren’t sure why you felt so self-conscious thinking about him checking out your channel or other socials. Plenty of other people did.

“Fine,” you sighed, telling the boy your IG handle and in a weak attempt of not seeing his reaction, you swung your bag onto your shoulder now that you were all packed up and headed towards the classroom exit.

“Cute,” you heard Leehan’s comment, quiet and unexpected, from behind you just before he caught up to you with his long legs. “You set the photo I took as your profile picture.”

You hummed because what else could you have said? It was pretty obvious. Leehan seemed surprised at first though but then his mouth tilted in a teasing way.

“Where’s my credit?” He singsonged, easily keeping up with your walking speed.

“In your dreams. I don’t want dating rumors,” you told him. You weren’t famous in a way you would have to worry about people dissecting your life but so far you had managed to keep your family and relationships out of the public eye and you wanted to keep it that way. If you captioned the photo with ‘taken by the pretty boy I met at the aquarium’ some of your followers surely would have gotten way too invested in your non-existent love life. Plus, you had thought you wouldn’t see each other again.

“What if it’s not a rumor?” Leehan asked just to tease. It was easy to tell from his tone or the way his eyes glinted when you looked at him.

“Says the guy who lied about having a girlfriend when asked for his number,” you deadpanned with an eyebrow raised, challenging him to disagree with you but the boy only cackled.

“Touché.”

He followed you on Instagram and after one cute animal post in your DMs, you followed him back. You didn’t text much at first, just sharing some memes over Principal Im’s mild reactions to your photo shoot and random sealife content. Then the principal asked the two of you to greet the parents at the school gate on the Open Day which made you bond over mutual annoyance over responsibilities like this. You would never understand what difference it made to have two students offer brochures by the door instead of stacking them on a table free to take to the overall experience of parents, but there you were, on brochure hand out duty on a fine Friday.

“Do I have a sign over my forehead saying ‘touch me’ or something?” Leehan grumbled after the nth parent thought it was appropriate to place a hand over his shoulder or touch his cheek just to coo about how handsome boys attended this school. You got some comments on your looks too but the aunties were impressed by Leehan’s visuals way more and neither of you could say anything because that would have come off as disrespectful and wouldn’t have done any good for the school’s reputation.

“Do you want to take a break? I can cover for you,” you offered because seeing him at unease twisted something in your stomach. Honestly, both of you were there mostly just to look pretty, so if he left to be alone a bit, you would have been fine still.

Leehan seemed taken aback by your offer though if his widened eyes and slow blinking was anything to go by.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks though,” he shook his head eventually and put on his fake smile when the next batch of parents filed through the entrance.

But something shifted then between you, some sort of unsaid understanding over vulnerability. Something that made you think that maybe you could be more than just two people in the same boat. You could have been friends talking about stuff friends did.

Maybe that was why, when you were done and ushered to your respective classrooms, you brought up the first neutral topic that you could think of to fill the void while walking on the empty hallways.

“Hey, are you friends with the school radio club leader?”

Leehan seemed lost in thoughts, so your question made him falter a bit, his eyebrows creasing, confused about the sudden topic.

“Taesan? Yeah, why?” He asked tentatively, turning to look at you briefly and see your expression.

“Is he dating my class’ president?” You asked because even though you weren’t one to bump your nose into others’ business, based on what you saw, you could barely believe it wasn’t common knowledge. Leehan must have been on the same page because his eyes immediately shone with excitement.

“Oh, you noticed too!” He pointed out, giddy, and it was nice to see him smile so wide after how uncomfortable he had looked before.

“It was kind of hard not to. I was at the senior interview last week and they kept glancing at each other,” you said because honestly, they must have thought that they had been subtle about it, always looking when the other hadn’t but it made you feel like a third wheel.

“That’s just great! I can’t wait to tease Taesan with it,” Leehan grinned, bouncing a little on his feet, his soft-looking hair falling into his eyes behind the glasses he decided to put on that day too. “They aren’t official or anything. Taesan was actually convinced for a while that pres hated his guts but as far as I know there has been progress.”

You weren’t an expert at love by any means but based on what you saw, your class president was far from hating the other guy, so you just hummed in acknowledgement. Leehan misunderstood your silence though.

“Are you jealous?” He asked, more astonished than teasing as he jogged in front of you, so he could look at your face while walking backwards. An unnecessarily hazardous thing to do, so you halted your steps when you reached the corner of your classrooms' hallway.

“What? No,” you furrowed your eyebrows because where the heck did he take that from?

“So you don’t like Taesan?” Leehan asked as if it was something he needed to confirm, best friend duties or whatever. Even if you liked his friend, you wouldn’t have talked about him with Leehan. That kind of behavior just didn’t make sense to you.

“No, gosh, I was just trying to start a conversation,” you sighed exasperatedly which exuded a chuckle from the boy.

“Cute,” he noted and absentmindedly reached out towards your head. You froze in your spot the same moment his hand stopped mid-air too having caught himself. You felt heat rush into your cheeks thinking that he wanted to… what? Ruffle your hair or pat your head? Either way, Leehan smoothly recovered as he pulled his hand back and ran his fingers through his own silky locks, waving goodbye to you before heading off to his class.

It was silly how something so small and insignificant like that suddenly made you nervous around the boy. Well, nervous might not have been the right word. You would have liked to think that previously you were indifferent or slightly intrigued at most when it came to Leehan. He was just another boy after all, just one more face that you wouldn’t see anymore when your family moved again. You had become great at not getting too close with anybody after the constant goodbyes had become too much to handle. Yet, you caught yourself waiting for the boy’s random animal fun facts and felt yourself getting flustered when you caught him as much as looking in your direction at the school canteen. It was getting ridiculous.

When you mentioned to Hyewon that one guy made you feel this confused, she told you that it could be just because you weren’t used to being friends with boys and that you needed to get out more. That's how you ended up at Wonyoung’s house party that weekend. The cheerleader welcomed you with a wide smile despite not talking more than ten words with you before but you guessed that it was normal. The more the merrier and all that jazz.

You had never been a party person, it was too loud, too chaotic. You weren’t sure how this was supposed to help with your problem but Hyewon seemed to have fun, especially when she made Gyuvin dance on the dance during a round of truth or dare. You talked with some people from class and strangers both and it wasn’t bad, you did have a good time but after a while it was a bit too much. Very unlike your usual Saturday night when you usually edited your videos to the tunes of your feel good Spotify playlist.

You needed some fresh air after being in the stuffy house for hours among dozens of other sweaty bodies and luckily Wonyoung’s parents’ house had a back garden, perks of living in the suburbs. From outside, the party’s music was muffled through the walls, toned down but still audible. You closed your eyes and let the night breeze cool your face. You only snapped out of it when you heard the sound of movements from the other side of the terrace. Initially you thought that it must have been a cat, so you were quite surprised when behind the huge kimchi jar there was none other than Kim Leehan.

“Jeez, what are you doing here?” You put a hand over your rapidly beating heart after such a jumpscare and eyed the guy sitting against the wall.

“What does it look like?” He asked, sheepishly for once with a scratch on his nape. It was so unlike his confident persona that charmed half the girls in your year. There was something lovely about it though, that he allowed you to see him like this.

“Don’t tell me you’re hiding? From girls?” You asked in a hushed voice and at first it was supposed to be a teasing joke but considering Leehan’s silence there must have been some truth in it. “Seriously, you are like 180cm, what can a bunch of girls do to you?”

You blurted it out without thinking but the moment it left your mouth, you realized how ridiculous that sounded. It didn’t matter that he was a guy or he was this tall, nobody deserved to be made to feel uncomfortable.

“Sorry, that was insensitive of me,” you apologized immediately, not wanting the boy to get defensive or hurt due to your unnecessarily harsh words. “But if they bother you so much, I’m sure there are better ways to deal with it.”

Obviously you had never been in his shoes but you wanted to help, you wanted him to feel comfortable enough around you to share the burden, to not play it off when things got like this.

“Most girls are fine, they are respectful and I don’t mind being looked at,” Leehan sighed wistfully, leaning his head back against the wall, looking up at the sky, starless from all the light pollution in the big city. “But… some are too much.”

You felt your fingers twitch, sudden anger rising in your chest thinking about scenarios of what could have happened that made him come out to hide there. Did they grab him or touch him in a way he didn’t want to? Did some drunk girl force themselves upon him when he just wanted to have fun with his friends?

“Are you okay?” You asked, worried, keeping an eye closely on the boy’s facial expressions.

He hummed. It was not a very elaborate response but it was better than nothing. In the following silence though you weren’t sure what to do with yourself. You looked back at the door, wondering when tipsy high schoolers would stumble out to smoke and to break this idyll. It must have looked like you were about to leave, not wanting to bother him because he spoke up, rushed as if he could miss you any minute.

“Can you stay?”

The depth of his voice was more apparent when he talked quietly. Or was it because of the dim light and the open space? You could practically feel it vibrate through your cells. There was no way you would have said no to that.

It was you who just hummed this time, not trusting your voice, and you squeezed yourself next to Leehan, into the space between him and the kimchi jar, the house wall cold against your back. It made you shiver lightly because in the recent lovely spring weather you forgone wearing an extra layer. The boy noticed though, he shrugged off the plaid shirt he wore over a white tee and covered your back and shoulders with it.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, suddenly surrounded by his warmth and the smell of sea salt even after he pulled back his hands.

“Tell me something,” Leehan whispered and despite initially not knowing what to say, you ended up telling him about your inexperience with parties and how moving around a lot affected your relationship with people and your sense of home. You told him that you were thinking of getting your own place instead of moving with your parents to a new city next time but you were afraid because you had never lived alone and you weren’t sure what your parents would have said either. You were so young yet the last few years had been so uncertain, a constant countdown until the next destination and you wanted to settle down for a bit, to call a place home for more than a few months. You wanted to get to know people without the constant fear of eventually losing touch with them.

Leehan was a good listener. He asked the right questions and shared his own perspective of things. There was nothing arrogant in the way he said that distance didn’t matter with the right people. At one point, once the heaviness of the topic subdued into a lighter conversation about your favorite places to be, he leaned his head on your shoulder, his locks tickling your ear and his closeness turning your cheeks rosy.

It was cozy, staying there with him, just talking. You didn’t even notice the party sounds dying down until Haewon called you to ask if you had already gone home without her. It could have been embarrassing how you didn't even notice time passing in Leehan’s company but you felt nothing of that sort. Shyly, you handed him back his shirt and wished him good night before catching up with Haewon.

You should have known that the girl famous for her intuitions wouldn’t leave it just like that. You were ambushed the moment the two of you were alone on the night bus.

“Sooo… where did you disappear off? Were you with Leehan?” She singsonged casually while you almost choked on your spit because you had never told her that the boy making you feel conflicted was Leehan. The pretty, popular boy of your grade, the prince of Yongsan High. The one almost everybody wanted. So cliché, so unnerving. And yet…

“Wh– what? How?” You spluttered, flustered but it only made Haewon giggle and coo at you.

“Please, I have seen how you look at him.”

“Oh, gosh, is it that obvious?” You groaned, hiding your face in your hands. You didn’t think you were that gone. Scratch that, before the party you wholeheartedly believed that it was just curiosity and being friendly on your part. Maybe Haewon was right and you had no idea how simple friendship worked with boys.

“It’s cute. And don’t worry, I don’t think Leehan noticed. He’s used to more… aggressive type of love declarations.”

“I’m not declaring my love for him!” You objected because that was too much, too soon. You just realized that you liked him and you haven’t decided yet what to do with this new, fuzzy feeling spreading in your chest.

“Why not?”

Why not indeed? Was it not wanting him to lose this fragile safe space he found with you just because you couldn't stop yourself and fell in love when all he needed was a friend who understood? Or was it your usual mindset of keeping everybody at an arm’s length to not get too emotionally attached?  You had no idea and it was too late into the night to figure it all out then.

Summer was approaching fast. It meant humid and sunny days, and way too many term end tests. It also meant two months without seeing Leehan which planted a kind of dread in your chest whenever you thought about it. At least you weren’t moving this time, not with your CSAT exams coming up in the second half of the year, so you had a bit more time to decide whether you wanted to stay here even if your parents moved away after your graduation.

Things only subtly changed after that party at Wonyoung’s. You didn’t necessarily look for each other’s presence at school, probably because both of you knew the rumors would be a pain to avoid if you did otherwise. You did text more though and not just about the previous neutral topics. Having been in Seoul for longer, Leehan started recommending places for you to visit for your YouTube channel and he knew that you wouldn’t belittle his complaints when he was annoyed by the way he was treated. He was also the perfect person to turn to when you had a bad day because he would listen and then he would make you feel better with his odd little jokes. He was such a dork under that popular pretty boy surface and you loved being able to see this side of him too. He also made sure to keep you updated about the school radio leader’s and your class president’s progress.

On a particularly hot June day, it was Leehan who nudged you in the side when he walked past you in the hallways.

“Let’s get ice cream after school,” he suggested casually as if it didn’t make your heartbeat go crazy, so you walked two blocks down from the school while arguing about the best Baskin Robbins flavors and went over the popsicles section of the corner convenience store only for Leehan to dig out the most artificial green colored one for its alien packaging. You laughed about the color of your tongues and the icy dessert melting all over your fingers and you had so much fun that for those few minutes you forgot about all the uncertainties in your life. Nothing mattered, just that moment with Leehan.

Haewon’s question (why not?) echoed in your ears at times like this.

It became a new habit sweeping well into summer: hanging out outside of school, looking for places with refreshing desserts to beat the heat. It was Italian-style gelato one week then bingsu or hwachae the next. You didn’t film but you kept posting pictures on your Instagram and you really underestimated the curiosity of your followers because one blurry reflection on the window was enough for people to conclude that you were on a date.

You knew for a fact that Leehan had the habit of stalking your comment section ever since he got so worked up about somebody making a mere comment on you gaining weight, but he didn’t say anything about this incident, which was probably for the best because honestly, you weren’t sure you could have played it off as coolly as when you had talked about not wanting dating rumors back in the day. Because what if it wasn’t rumors?

Next time you met up, Leehan pointed a finger at you in accusation even before he sat down at the table you already occupied.

“You went to an ocean-themed cafe without me?”

You blinked up at him in surprise, trying to make sense of what he was talking about when you remembered what you posted earlier to your Instagram.

“I was cafe hopping and found it by accident,” you explained that it wasn’t planned. If you knew, you surely would have told him about it. Even when you found the pretty coffee shop, you were so excited to tell him about it but then you had to remind yourself to tone it down, to not make your feelings too obvious.

“Still… Next time, you should take me with you,” Leehan said, pursing his lips a little child-like and you wanted to pinch his cheeks just above his adorable dimples. You curled your fingers into your hand to stop yourself.

“I’m not used to filming in company,” you told him because it was kind of a principle you had to fully pay attention to the people you were with instead of focusing on snapping pictures or recording. Maybe it was because your parents didn’t like it that you had your camera on you when you went out with them on those rare occasions they were free to give in to your request. With Leehan though, he might not have minded it but you were sure he would be distracting in the most heart-fluttering meaning of the word. You couldn’t take your eyes off him and it would be a mess. Your viewers would notice the same way Haewon had noticed too.

“Please~” The boy pouted (unfair!), fluttering his eyelashes under the loose strands of his long grown fringe and you felt your resolve weaken immediately.

“Just because you are pretty, it doesn’t mean you can just do that and I will give in,” you blurted out a protest in a weak attempt of keeping your composure. You didn’t even notice your subscious slipping through until Leehan’s pout turned into a content smile.

“Oh, so you do think I’m pretty.”

“I… that’s not the point!” You protested but Leehan seemed oddly satisfied with the new knowledge. He was whistling to the tone of a 2nd gen kpop song under his nose when the ahjumma came to take your orders and both of you were embarrassed because you didn’t bother looking at the menu since you arrived. The ahjumma smiled fondly and mumbled something about young love which turned you crimson but you hoped Leehan didn’t hear and didn’t notice. Luckily (or not), he was still hung up on your previous slip up.

“I thought you were immune to me,” he mumbled and he sounded so serious that you couldn’t even find it in yourself to joke about what kind of virus he would like to be then.

“What?” You blinked at him, not sure what brought this up but while you were confused, Leehan looked like this was something that had been on the tip of his tongue for so long and now that it was finally out he had a lot to explain.

“I mean, it’s not a terrible thing I guess. I like it that you treat me like a normal guy from day one, that you don’t swoon just because I walk past you on the school hallways and you aren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit when I’m too much but then I kind of want you to be swooned by me. I know it doesn’t make sense but sometimes it bothers me so much that you don’t like me the way I like you.”

“I…” You gaped at him like a fish, speechless, but couldn’t even finish your clumsy excuse of sentence because Leehan was still rambling.

“Like look at me. How can you not?” He finally looked you in the eye and pointed at his face.

His all too lovely face with the warmest shade of brown in his playful eyes, the prettiest hair you would like to ruffle and the smart line of his rosy lips. At that moment he looked so young, so boyish, the teenager blemish barely visible on his face because in your eyes even the flaws made him more handsome.

“Leehan,” you said his name slowly, forming each syllable like it was an answer itself. Suddenly it wasn’t so scary to be honest because you now knew that he was just as unsure around you as you were with him. “I do like you but no offense, it has nothing to do with your looks.”

If you wanted to be honest, his looks were one thing you disliked about him in the beginning. You had known popular boys before who knew they looked good and they had always had the kind of ego that made their handsomeness turn sour in your mouth. But it became clear over time that he wasn’t one to use his good looks to get away with things and take advantage of girls’ feelings.

“Y/N,” Leehan called your name in a similar manner to the way you had done, a confused little frown sitting on his forehead and you wanted nothing more than to smooth it out. “There’s so much to unpack in that sentence.”

“Like?”

“Like when you say you like me, do you mean it in a friendly way?” He asked and he sounded so nervous asking it that you couldn’t help but giggle. He had said it first in his ramble, he wasn’t weirded out by your confession either nor did he brush it off and gosh, he sounded outright hopeful, so the relief made you feel giddy.

“Sure,” you smiled before casting your eyes down. “If wanting to hold hands with you and going on cheesy dates is a friendly thing to do.”

There was a moment of silence that made you so nervous you had to look up again and what you saw was better than seeing any breathtaking sunrise.

“Really?” Leehan whispered, his eyes shining with little stars in them.

“Really,” you nodded shyly before remembering his previous claim about so much to unpack and you cleared your throat. “What else?”

The soft smile melted off the boy’s face and something insecure flashed through his eyes as his fingers fumbled with the napkins on the table.

“And… does it mean that you like me but not the way I look? Like… am I not manly enough or–?”

“Hey, no, that’s not what I meant,” you interrupted quickly but not quickly enough because you never wanted him to feel that way to begin with. You scrambled to find the right words to explain this time. “I like you because you are caring and kind, you listen to my vents and try to help, you make boring stuff fun, you make me feel at home with you in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. It doesn’t matter how you look but to tell you the truth and not just to boost your ego, you are the most beautiful boy I have ever seen.”

“Oh, okay,” Leehan muttered but then giggled and the tips of his ears peeking out from between his wavy locks reddened adorably. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Kim Leehan getting flustered in front of you, because of you?

“Hold up… are you blushing?” You teased, softly, playfully and wholeheartedly smitten.

“Shut up,” Leehan mumbled but there was no edge in his tone, just a smile playing on his lips. So cute. “I like you too. A lot. In a friendly way if walking you home and kissing you goodbye is something friends do.”

This time it was your turn to flush, a cherry color appearing on your cheeks. You were pretty sure that that’s why the ahjumma turned on her heels when she walked up to your table again without asking about your orders. The menu cards were still untouched next to you.

You got to hold Leehan’s hand that day when he did good on his promise and walked you home. He also kissed you on the cheek by the gate because you both got shy but it was fine, you had the entire summer and all the time in the world. There was no need to rush anything.

Your first official date was at the aquarium for old time’s sake and it was the second time Leehan called you his girlfriend. You got distracted reading about the ‘Nemo fish’ and you didn’t realize that the boy wandered further away staring at a big tank full of fluorescent jellyfish as if it hadn’t been there before. By the time you caught up with him, there was a girl there, handing him her phone, smiling coyly. Last time you didn’t feel anything if not mild annoyance for being dragged into it but now you could feel your chest swelling with a new emotion. You had thought before that you would be jealous but what you actually felt was pride. That there was this beautiful, amazing boy and he liked you and he seemed proud of it too as he shot an apologetic smile towards the girl then saw you over her shoulder and his forced smile softened, its edges lifting up until his dimple showed.

“Sorry, I have a girlfriend,” he said and this time it was real.

He bowed politely towards the stranger then reached for your hand, lacing his fingers through yours and you hid your smile in his arm as he pulled you farther away.

“Are you good?” You asked quietly, just to make sure that the girl didn’t make him feel uncomfortable because otherwise you might have had to go back and lecture her on basic manners.

“Never better,” Leehan replied, smiling against your temple with a brief kiss before pointing at a tank you passed by. “Did you know that angelfish mate for life?”

“No, I had no idea,” you chuckled and listened to your boyfriend tell you all about this species of fish you had never heard about before. It was perfect. You could have listened to him all day.

[auras-moonstone]

i can see you — ethan landry

word count: 2,623

pairing: non-gf!ethan landry x fem!reader

based on: i can see you by taylor swift

summary: y/n and ethan work at a summer camp which has very strict rules—relationships between the staff is completely forbidden.

author’s note: this song is the epitome of horniness, so there are some suggestive things in this story. no smut, but there are sexual activities implied.

part two

ONE OF THE FIRST RULES YOU’RE TOLD ON YOUR FIRST DAY OF WORK AT THE GARDEN GATE SUMMER CAMP IS: RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN STAFF MEMBERS ARE COMPLETELY FORBIDDEN. At first, Y/N didn’t mind that rule at all. No one on the staff has ever caught her attention in the two years she had been working there. But then, he bursted into the room—breathless, red cheeks (probably from running), perfect curly hair, big brown enthralling eyes, tall and broad shoulders, absolutely mesmerising features—and she knew she was utterly and absolutely fucked.

“Sorry I’m late… flat tire” he said, trying to catch his breath. And his voice was irritably hot, just great, Y/N groaned internally.

“It’s okay. I had just explained a few rules. The most important—and if we found out you broke it, we’ll have no choice but to fire you—no romantic relationships between staff members, got it?” Jessie, their boss, said. The guy nodded in understanding.

Y/N tried not to look at the mysterious new guy for the rest of the meeting—but it was impossible, his magnetic field was a little too strong. It was going to be a cruel summer, she could feel it.

Ethan, even though he didn’t show it, felt her gaze ever since he walked into that room and it excited him. He had been crushing on that girl ever since Chad showed him a picture of her. He had told her how funny and sweet she was and let it slip that Ethan was exactly her type, so that’s why he ended getting a job at Garden Gate Summer Camp—to meet her.

“Y/N! It’s so nice to see you!” Tara hugged her tightly. Y/N and the group —Tara, the Meeks-Martin twins and Sam—met the previous summer, on their first day of work at the camp. They went to different colleges, but they still texted and face-timed a lot.

“Oh, by the way, Y/N/N, this is Ethan, the roommate I told you would be joining us this year?” Chad introduced her to the personification of a daydream.

“Oh, yeah! Welcome to the nightmare, Ethan. A job at a summer camp is not cool as it sounds” Y/N looked at him with a smile.

“Oh, okay. That makes me feel so excited” he said sarcastically. “But thank you. Hope you heard all good things about me”

“Don’t worry, man. I told her you are a shy, dorky nerdy boy” Chad said, patting his shoulder. Ethan rolled his eyes at him, of course he said that.

“Don’t feel bad, Ethan. Shy, dorky, nerdy guys are cool… jocks, on the other hand…” Y/N faked a gag, and the tall boy laughed.

“Okay, okay I deserved that” Chad laughed too.

That night, both Y/N and Ethan went to bed with excitement filling their chests, trying their hardest to sleep early just so tomorrow would come faster—they couldn’t wait to see each other again.

THE WEEKS PASSED AND THE TENSION THE TWO TEENAGERS FELT AROUND EACH OTHER WAS BECOMING MORE AND MORE UNBEARABLE. Y/N never thought she would hate that fucking rule Jessie set so much. She despised the fact that all she could do was enjoy the way he brushed past her in the hallways. It was getting so hard to retain the need to touch him.

And Ethan… no one would believe the things that went through his mind everytime he saw Y/N. Like right now, she she was waiting down the hallway—to lead him to the closet they were tasked to arrange—and the image of Y/N up against the wall with him, kissing her into oblivion, crossed his mind. Holding back from her was a complete nightmare.

“Eth? Everything okay? You look a little flushed” her sweet voice invaded his ears. His thoughts had been so loud he wondered if she could read his mind.

“The day feels hot and heavy today” was his excuse. The day was indeed intolerable, but that was not the reason he felt like that. It was totally her—the way she made that ridiculous camp shirt look hot, and the shorts that showed her beautiful legs.

“I told you. This job is not as cool as it sounded. Everyone is having fun at the lake and we are stuck in this closet” she laughed “And how is it even hotter in here? My god”.

“Let’s just hurry so we can leave” he said. “Hey, I heard you’re transferring to Blackmore, right?” Ethan tried to make conversation as they worked.

“Yup. I’m rooming with Mindy and her girlfriend. So, you’ll be seeing more of me when the summer ends”

“Thank god” he said. Y/N looked at him in surprise, and then a smirk formed on her face. Ethan widened his eyes and tried to explain himself. “I mean, with Tara and Chad, and Mindy and Anika being couples, I’m kind of always fifth wheeling… now I have you. In the group, I mean, n-not as in… my g-girlfriend”.

“You’re adorable, Ethan” Y/N told him. Ethan held back a sigh. Of course he was the adorable one, the cute one, never the hot one. He didn’t know how he could’ve thought it would be different with Y/N. “I like adorable, for the record”.

Yeah, as a friend, I bet, Ethan said to himself. “Done” he said, already wanting to get out of the closet to drown himself in his own disappointment.

“Right” Y/N stood up, cursing herself for having messed up. She totally meant it as a compliment—yes, Ethan was hot but he was also really sweet and adorable and she liked him a lot. But clearly the boy had been teased about being dorky, nerdy and adorable so much that he started to hate it.

The curly-haired boy turned the handle and tried to open the door. “No, no. No way” he said shaking the door with force. “Y/N it’s not opening”.

“What? Let me see” she said, pushing him aside. “Shit. It must be stuck”.

“Do you have your phone?” Ethan asked. Y/N shook her head. “Fuck, me neither. What do we do?”.

“Well, we’ll have to wait. I mean, they’ll eventually notice we’re missing, right?”

“But that could take hours” Ethan groaned.

“Yeah, we don’t have any other choice so, get comfortable”

The minutes passed and the little room turned warmer and heavier. Their shirts were soaked in sweat and the fabric of Y/N’s jean shorts was starting to feel hot against her skin.

“We’re going to die” Ethan muttered. They were sitting against a wall next to each other. “The shirt is sticking to my skin” he said, trying to create some air by shaking the fabric with rapid movements. “I need to take it off”.

“Please don’t take it off” by his muscled arms and broad shoulders, Y/N could tell Ethan spent some considerable amount of time at the gym. That means that he probably had abs and the last thing she needed at the moment is her body to turn warmer.

“I’m sorry but I might melt if I don’t” he said before getting rid of the dark blue Garden Gate Summer Camp shirt.

Y/N really did try not to shamelessly look at his body, but she was just a girl with only so much self-restraint. “This is torture”.

“I know, let’s just hope they’ll notice soon” he said.

She was, definitely, not talking about the hot room, but the hot, shirtless boy next to her. But she just said “Yeah”. After a couple of minutes, she couldn’t take the heat any longer so she followed Ethan’s actions and took off her shirt, leaving her in only shorts and a black bikini top.

“What are you doing?” he asked in panic, trying to look anywhere but her chest.

“The shirt was so sticky it disgusted me. Chill, it’s just a bikini”

“It’s not the bikini, it’s who is wearing it” the words left his mouth before he could even process them.

The blood rushed into her cheeks, making her even warmer “Ethan, fuck, you’re making this harder” she cursed.

“I could say the same about you” he accused her.

“Ew” Y/N teased him.

Ethan widened his eyes “No! That’s not what I meant!”

“I know, I’m just messing with you” she bursted out laughing. Her shoulder accidentally touched his and the laughter stopped. Their breaths hitched at the contact. “Maybe we should… try banging the door? Someone might hear us”

Ethan nodded frenetically. He needed to get out of this room before he did something stupid. “This is useless” he said after a couple of minutes, leaning against the door.

“I’m sorry for what I said” she blurted out, making him look at her in confusion. “About you being adorable. I can tell you didn’t like it, and I’m sorry”.

“I know it’s silly, I mean getting offended by a harmless compliment, I just… I’m kind of tired of being the one who stays in a corner at parties because I’m not enough confident or hot like Chad or other frat boys. I’m the cute guy, the adorable one, the one that girls want as a friend not a hookup”.

“That’s not how I feel about you, Ethan. God, you have no fucking idea, do you? The effect you’ve had on me since the first day? You don’t know half the things I see inside my head when you are near me or even when you’re not” she didn’t even notice she was pinning him to the door. But Ethan was well aware of it, and he loved it “So yes, Ethan, I think you’re the sweetest and most adorable guy I’ve ever met, but you are also so fucking attractive. I like you and want you so bad, it drives me absolutely insane”.

“What would you do if I went to touch you now?” Ethan asked in a low, raspy voice.

He was so irresistible. “Keep taking to me in that voice and I will do anything you want, let you do anything you want” he definitely had her in the palm of his hand, and she didn’t mind at all.

“Y/N, Ethan? You’re in there?” they heard Chad’s voice on the other side of the door.

“Are you kidding me? They appear now?” Ethan groaned in a whisper. Y/N grimaced and shrugged. It was probably for the best. “Yes! We’ve been stuck here for hours!”

A WEEK HAD PASSED SINCE THE CLOSET SITUATION and while they managed to keep everything professional, they both felt something had changed between them now that they knew they were attracted to each other. They now exchanged seductive smiles, brief teasing touches, and shared meaningful glances only the other was able to decipher—it kind of became their secret language.

But the thing was ultimately treacherous, those little actions just made the situation worse because if they had trouble holding back from each other before, now it felt physically draining.

“We have night patrol, who volunteers?” Sam asked, no one raised their hands. Everyone hated night patrols. “Oh, please”.

“Fine, I’ll do it” Y/N spoke up.

Sam sent her a grateful smile “Who else?”

Ethan faked a defeated sigh and said, “I’ll go too”. Y/N held back a smile.

“Perfect!” Sam exclaimed, giving them the lanterns.

“Good luck, guys” the rest of the group said before entering their respective cabins.

“So, are you going to make a move or are you going to keep eye-fucking me during every fucking meeting?” Ethan asked.

“Mmm, I don’t know. I kinda like seeing you clench your jaw, how you discreetly adjust your shorts, how you try to look away from me but totally failing” she whispered in his ear.

Ethan groaned, gripping her waist tightly “You temptress… you drive me insane. You know it hurts, right? Like, a lot”

“I’m sorry… maybe I should make it up to you?” Y/N smiled innocently, while dragging her hand from his shoulder all the way down to the waistline of his shorts. “Follow me” she grabbed his hand, leading him towards a secure place, very well hidden.

“You’re so gorgeous” he said, pressing her against the wall. He was so tall that she had to look up at him. “Are you going to let me kiss you, Y/N?”.

She looked at him with begging eyes and nodded. As soon as their lips touched, they could see themselves being each other’s addictions. There was so much urgency and neediness in the way their lips moved, they couldn’t imagine ever wanting to pull apart. Hands wandered everywhere—chests, cheeks, jaws, necks—wanting to feel and memorise every inch possible. Nothing could ever be enough though, they wanted more and more of each other.

“I want to make it up to you, Eth” she whispered once they had to pull away.

“Whatever you want. I am okay doing whatever you want” he whispered against her neck, the smell of vanilla and coconut blurring his senses.

“You’re going to keep quiet for me, pretty boy?” Y/N asked descending her kisses from his neck down to collarbone.

“Yes, I promise. Just… please”

So Y/N got down to her knees and Ethan totally broke his promise.

ETHAN LANDRY, Y/N FOUND, WAS THE MOST TRANSPARENT PERSON SHE KNEW. Or at least when his emotions were on edge. The next morning, when the girl joined the rest of the group for breakfast, Ethan almost fell out of his seat. And it certainly caught the attention of their friends.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked him confused by his sudden behaviour.

“Y-yeah, I just thought there was an insect on my leg” he laughed nervously. Y/N wanted to kill him, they were going to find them out if he continued to act like that.

“Well, we are at a camp… in the woods. There are a lot of insects, so you have to get accustomed to them, Ethan” Y/N said.

“R-right, yeah. Obviously” he nodded.

“Man, do you feel alright? You’re acting weird” Chad asked his friend.

“We stayed up late last night” Y/N said, and Ethan choked on his coffee. “-patrolling. And Ethan here is basically a grandpa who wanted to go to bed like ten minutes after we started. So, maybe he just needs a little rest”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what is wrong. I need more hours of sleep” Ethan nodded.

“You’re the worst partner ever” Y/N said sending him a look that said ‘act normal’.

“Yeah, I don’t know what the fuck is going on here but we better get to work” Mindy said.

Y/N AND ETHAN DECIDED TO HAVE THE LEAST INTERACTION POSSIBLE DURING THE DAY. The group did not buy the sleepless excuse at all, they knew something was going on between them. So, looking around to make sure no one was near, Y/N casually walked past Ethan and left a note on his hand.

meet me tonight at my cabin

make sure no one sees you leave your cabin

“You really need to start behaving, Ethan” she said as Ethan entered her cabin, closing the door behind him.

“I just… I keep replaying you on your knees and looking up at me with those fucking beautiful doe eyes and I can’t help it. You make me fucking nervous and flustered”

Y/N smiled, even the thought of being annoyed at him was impossible. She just had a soft spot for him.“Maybe I should get you accustomed to the feeling of me… of all the things that haven’t happened between us yet. And maybe then you’ll start behaving like a normal person around me” she had pushed him to her bed. He looked at her with wide hungry eyes, pulling her to his lap.

“I really like the sound of that… like a secret mission. But first, I need to return the favour. Then, we can do anything you want” Ethan said kissing her collarbone.

Y/N smiled, grabbing him by the jaw to kiss him softly “It’s okay, Eth. You don’t need to”

“I don’t need to, but I want to. There’s nothing I want more” he said, grabbing her tights to switch positions. Now, she way lying on the bed, and he was kneeling between her legs.

“They suspect something, though, they had been keeping watchful eyes on us. So, just in case, we need to be fast. You can’t spend much time here” Y/N said, the feeling of his hand on her tight sending her electric shocks all over her body.

“I can be fast. Just keep quiet, gorgeous”

And soon enough, her hands were in his hair and the rest of their clothes ended up splattered across the room.

[veelaa]

LET’S TRY SOMETHING NEW - ETHAN LANDRY 🩵 (sub!ethan)

REQUESTED!

SUMMARY: your boyfriend, ethan landry, finds your strap on after you spend months trying to hide it from him. you’ve been shy about the idea of pegging until now.

warnings: smut, pegging, use of sex toys, palming, sucking

~~~~~~~~~~~~

it was a sunny tuesday, but the continuous honking of cars that echoed through the streets of nyc weren’t really helping with the peace.

your boyfriend, ethan landry, was your sense of peace though. he was a respectful and kind boy who always brought some sort of light to your day no matter how shitty you felt.

he was the only thing you really needed to survive your 4 years of hell. and you were grateful that you both attended the same college which meant that separation anxiety was out of the picture.

he was also a very curious boy who had all sorts of questions. and it was clear that he was some sort of experimentalist.

“y/n?” he called out in a soft spoken voice, his cheeks became flushed while he mustered up the courage to ask a risky question.

“yes, baby?” you answered back in the same sweet tone that he just called your name in. you always went out of your way to help ethan with whatever he needed.

“um..” he held up your strap on that you’ve been trying to hide from him for the past few months. you were always too shy to bring up the idea of pegging.

“oh..” was all that came out of your mouth, your lips forming an ‘O’ at the sight of your strap on being in the hands of your poor, innocent boyfriend who just discovered it in the pits of your messy drawers.

“what’s this?” he asks, his cheeks becoming more flushed from the awkwardness that was quick to fill the room. “well um..” you were having a hard time figuring out how to explain the strap on that was displayed in his hands.

“have you ever heard of pegging?” you asked, hopefully he wasn’t too corrupted to understand such a term. “no.” ethan says shyly, feeling stupid for not knowing. “well. pegging is an anal sex act. where a woman wears a strap on and she penetrates a mans anus.” you began, your cheeks becoming equally as flushed as his.

“oh.” ethan said, his eyes widening at the statement of you possibly penetrating his tight anus. “can— we try..?” he asked, waving the strap on in the air. you forgot that he was a very open boy who was open to new ideas. you didn’t understand why you were so worried about his opinion. he never said no to you in fact.

“yeah. of course.” you closed your laptop, pausing your school work. you walked up to ethan and gave him a small peck on the lips. “get comfortable in bed, i’ll be there in a few.” you gave him one more peck before you were off, changing into a more appropriate outfit for an occasion like this.

ethan made sure to take everything off besides his boxers so that you had something to work with at least. you put on a cute set of lingerie to match your strap on. once you walked into your bedroom, ethan was more than ready. instead of fear displayed on his face, he was more than excited. his eyes lit up and he immediately sat up, his eyes glued onto your lingerie set and that strap on that you had on.

“so cute..” you whispered before crawling onto the bed, placing two strong hands onto his shoulder so that you could keep him in place.

“use me..” he whined softly, his soft minty breath hitting your face which made you get aroused. he was being so submissive right now. and you loved every single bit of it. “will do.” you confidently answered before smashing your hungry lips onto his soft lips.

his large hands travelled up to your waist where he held you comfortably. you both continued to kiss passionately, the thrill of trying something out arousing you both more.

you began to work on his boxers, lightly palming him through the thin cloth that covered his hard arousal. you knew that he was supposed to be inside of you, but instead you were going to be inside of him.

“i want you inside of me already momma..” he whined. you became more aroused by the new nickname. you never knew that he could be that submissive and it was driving you insane. “be patient.” you ordered before ripping his boxers off, his cock springing right up.

you gave him one last look in the eye before trailing a few kisses down his chest. you finally reached his dick and you began to kiss it gently, treating it as if it were the most delicate thing.

you then wrapped your mouth on his tip, feeling the pre-cum coat your whole mouth. you loved the taste, it was different yet delicious.

you then began to suck his dick. sucking noises filled the room along with his soft whimpers and moans while he bucked his hips up every few moments every time he inched closer to his orgasm.

“m-mmmm…!” he whimpered while squirming. he was getting so overstimulated by the feeling of your pretty mouth taking his dick like a champ. “i-i wanna cum..” he whispered while gripping your hair into a ponytail. you felt his hips buck again which shoved his whole 8 inches into your mouth, making you gag slightly.

you then felt one last thrust into your mouth before ropes of warm cum coated the back of your throat. you loved the feelings of being filled to the brim, inside your mouth and inside of your tight pussy.

you swallowed his cum within one go, a soft smirk on your lips then formed. “you ready?” you asked while getting up from the bed and grabbing the bottle of lube. you put a good amount on your hand before glazing your strap on with the slippery substance.

“yes momma.” ethan whimpered softly, recovering from the overstimulation situation that happened a few moments ago.

“get on all fours.” you demanded. you were now the one truly in control. you liked the feeling although it was still quite foreign to you since you were always the one under.

ethan was being a good boy and got on all fours, leaving his tight anus exposed to you. you got behind him and rubbed his entrance with your slippery tip before inserting yourself into him, causing him to let out a gasp.

“it-it hurts..” he whines, tears stinging his eyes from the pain of being stretched out completely. “i know baby..” you answered, giving him some time to adjust to the size before beginning to thrust slowly but gently into him.

at first, his responses were soft cries. he was trying to get used to the feeling after all and you made it easier by giving him some time to adjust to it.

“mmmph..!” he whimpered loudly once you shoved the full length into him. you knew his painful cries turned into cries of pleasure once he tries to suppress his moans.

you continued to thrust at a comfortable rate. you made sure to go easy on him since it was his first time after all and you wanted him to experience little to no pain.

“i’m about to c-cum!” he whimpered out while his anus walls began to squeeze around your strap on. you sped up the pace a bit so that he could reach his orgasm more faster.

“f-fuck.. momma!” he moaned loudly before his body began to shake gently, his legs quivering after experience a life changing orgasm.

you pulled your strap on out, his creaminess coated it along with your lube that still remained on it.

“you did so good baby.” you complimented and gave him a soft kiss before removing the strap on. “thank you, momma”. he whispered back, giving you one last kiss on the lips.

[katanablue]

Hi, could i get a bayverse leo x gn reader? :) Leo has been crushing on the reader and as an attempt to get to know them better he invites them into the dojo to teach them some moves.

He wasn’t sure what to expect but ultimately falls for them harder when he realizes how muscular they are. They’re short with toned arms, back, and thunder thighs he never noticed before since they tend to wear more flowy/oversized clothing.

It could be sfw or nsfw. Whatever you have the motivation for!

-🦉🌸

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE BABE, I need to write more for Bayverse. I got some ideas in mind 🧐

Leo knows better than most than to judge a book by its cover; to take things with a grain of salt and feel it out before placing any impressions upon the first few seconds, even though those beginning initial moments are crucial.

And he should’ve put those practices on you, his friend and recently turned crush.

He thought you were so lovely, with your lively laughter whenever Mikey told a joke, your curiosity piquing when Don went all brainiac explaining his latest invention, or when Raph and Casey talked about their latest goon run and you shifted into their number one cheerleader.

He wanted to get to know you on a deeper level, finding it hard to get any sort of personal one on one time with you since Mikey tended to grab you as soon as you came into the Lair.

Today he was determined to do so, waiting by the entrance and occupying himself with cleaning his swords while he rehearsed how he was going to go about his little plan for you.

He asked you last week if he could do some training with you, wanting to teach you some moves just in case you ever found yourself in trouble and they couldn’t get to you in time. Of course he wanted you to know how to get yourself out of sticky situations, but deep down he couldn’t deny the fact that the opportunity to get closer to you physically was very enticing.

He’s mindlessly wiping his katana when he sees you from the corner of his eye coming in. He puts his weapon down and turns to greet you.

“Hey, glad you could—“

Leo was one that prided himself in being able to mask his emotions, able to hide even the most minuscule of twitches that crossed his eyes or mouth. But one look at you put all of that to the test.

He was used to seeing you in baggy clothing; oversized T-shirts and flowy pants because you stated that it was more comfortable to move around in and who was he to argue with that?

His eyes nearly bulge out of his head when you came strutting in wearing form fitting shorts and a tank top, showing off your very impressive muscles and thick thighs that he had absolutely no idea about. He takes a moment to clear his throat, plastering on a welcoming smile for you.

“Hey, you made it.”

You grin brightly at him, continuing to walk until you’re close enough to reach out and touch. “Yeah! Wouldn’t miss a ‘Leo Lesson’ for anything.”

It’s a silly little statement but one that makes his chest tighten just a bit. He smiles at you again, gesturing with a sweep of his arm for you to lead the way to the dojo.

It was just a quick lesson— he’s a ninja for Christ’s sake, is he really gonna let the sight of your physique get him distracted?

—-

Leo was never a religious man but if he had to chose a time to believe in any or all gods, it would be now.

You picked up on his demonstrations fairly quick, replaying it back to Leo and then trying it out on him. The leader in blue had to bite his tongue to refrain from complimenting your muscles, even though it would be perfectly normal in a scenario like this. God, have you always been this toned? Has your back always been that defined? Have your thighs always been—

He’s snapped out of his daydream when you manage to tackle him down and onto his shell, a very harsh grunt sounding into the air from the impact. Leo barely has time to compose himself when he realizes that you’re straddling him, your strong thighs on both sides of his waist and he finds himself instinctively placing his hands on your hips.

You smile down at him, taking heavy breaths to regain yourself, doing your best to ignore the way Leo’s pretty blue eyes stare up at you in a certain way and how his grip on you nearly makes you just bend down and steal a kiss.

“How was that?”

He flexes his three fingers just barely against you, resisting the urge to squeeze harder and feel your flesh mold beneath his touch and—

“Great,” He coughs, internally cursing at the way it came out raspy, “Let’s do it again.”

He was gonna schedule more training sessions with you for sure.

[pikatrainer99]

Let's talk about Barry for a minute.

This boy is so underappreciated and gets way too much hate just for being ADHD incarnate (or as the haters say, "his hyperactive squirrel brain"). The haters also don't recognize that Barry actually has a character arc in the games. He learns the importance of slowing down throughout his journey, especially after his loss to Jupiter at Lake Acuity. He had been one step ahead of the player the whole game, but this loss actually makes him stop and think things through for a bit, deciding to take his time and train up more. As a result, the player is the one to get the last Gym Badge and make it to the League first. Also, let's not forget that Barry had the patience (and probably hyperfocus) to get a MUNCHLAX and a HERACROSS from the honey trees...y'know, the two RAREST honey tree Pokémon...? Yeah...that takes PATIENCE. Even I don't have the patience for that...but I'm also a very impatient person myself (I blame my parents, who are also impatient, for passing it on to me and my brothers), my "now now now" attitude has driven my family crazy millions of times by now, but I digress.

Something else that's important to mention is Barry's personality (other than his ADHD traits, that is). This kid is a genuinely good guy. He's the player's best friend and that doesn't stop when he becomes the player's rival. He gives the player tips, he doesn't look down on the player or bully them, he's always excited to see them whenever they cross his path, is genuinely happy for them when they get their last Gym Badge and says he won't be far behind, etc. Barry also genuinely loves Pokémon, they are his friends, not tools for battle. He gets angry when around Team Galactic because of how they treat Pokémon, he went into empathy overdrive for Uxie's suffering after losing to Jupiter at Lake Acuity, etc. And he gets excited and happy when around people who love Pokémon as much as he does, like the player and Gym Leaders, for example. Barry also NEVER gives up, which is definitely a great character trait, especially for a rival character. He's set on his goal and nothing can pull him away from it, not even multiple losses to the player. It makes me feel less bad about beating him because I know he's just gonna bounce back each time and try again. That's just how Barry is and he's my favorite friendly rival because of it. I never feel like I'm crushing his dreams like I do with Hop, for example. Instead I'm making him stronger, both in resolve, and as a Trainer.

That doesn't mean that he doesn't have a sad side to him though...because he does. He has daddy issues, BIG TIME. This kid's whole motivation is to get strong enough to challenge and defeat his dad, Tower Tycoon Palmer. He wants to be acknowledged by his dad SO BADLY that in Pokémon Masters he straight-up TELLS YOU that the reason he keeps fining people is because he wants to use the fines he collects to build his own Battle Tower because, in his mind, that's the way to get acknowledgement from his dad. But no one ever takes him seriously (most likely because of how often he does this, how much money he asks for, and also the fact that he's a CHILD), so he never gets any money. I'll be honest, my heart broke for this poor kid during that conversation. I used to think that Barry's "I'm fining you 10 million Pokédollars!" was just his way of expressing annoyance or even just a verbal tic of sorts...but in Masters it's revealed that he's dead serious when he says those things, all because he's so desperate for his dad's approval that he wants to make him proud by building and running his own Battle Tower. Again, he's a CHILD! That shouldn't be any child's goal, especially not for something all kids deserve, which is parent approval! As someone who is ALSO constantly seeking my own dad's approval, this conversation hit home for me. My dad doesn't really approve of anything I'm interested in or anything I do, he wants me to be someone else entirely...but I can't be who he wants me to be, I can't be who ANYONE in this world wants me to be...I can only be myself and I want to make my dad proud just by being me...

The Pokémon Evolutions episode "The Rival" is ALL ABOUT Barry's daddy issues. Everything he does and says in that episode is all about getting strong enough to challenge his dad. He's able to beat him in the end, finally getting the acknowledgement he deserves (he would still deserve it even if he didn't win, or even get to challenge him, let's be clear). So it's a happy ending there, but in the gameverse that's not a clear-cut thing that happens, so we never know if he even does get to face his dad. He shows up in the Fight Area on weekends to battle the player but that's really it as far as I'm aware. In the games, Barry also admires Crasher Wake and wants him to take him under his wing and mentor him, but Wake refuses, which honestly makes me angry since Barry clearly wants (and needs) a father figure in his life since Palmer is absent all the time. At least in the manga Wake does train Pearl, so there is ONE Pokémon universe where Wake mentors the kid...buuuuut he should've done it in the games too, just sayin'.

So yeah, that's basically my ramble on Barry. Honestly this wasn't planned or anything, I just out of nowhere started thinking about Barry and how hated he is, and impulsively wrote this whole entire essay without scripting it out beforehand so this might be a bit hard to follow 😅. But I just love this kid and I don't understand the hate he gets, so he deserves an appreciation post in my opinion...so this is the post! Let me know what you think down below!

[salty-says]

Ok wtf the post went away but the lovely @amortentiaz asked for monster trio + Shanks reaction to reader that was previously involved with other pirates romantically!

Monster Trio + Shanks

• When Luffy first saw you, he instantly knew you had to be a member of his crew. You are strong and carry yourself quite confidently. When you helped him out reluctantly in a scuffle with Marines he asked you to join and absolutely didn’t take no for an answer.

• You quickly got along with the rest of the crew as you already had proved yourself greatly by helping them out in a tight pinch.

Luffy

•Luffy didn’t really understand his attraction to you at first as he never felt something like that for anyone else. He was confused as to why he felt differently about you than the rest of the crew.

•He finally admitted to you that being around you “feels like he’s going into Gear 2” as his heart starts pumping rapidly and he feels stronger.

•Soon enough you reciprocated his feelings and he was overjoyed. He treated you very special and because of this he let you nap with him and “share” some of his food (the crumbs).

•One day Robin was reading the paper during breakfast and mentioned that Sir. Crocodile had been prosecuted into Impel Down. Immediately you froze and asked to see for yourself.

•You couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw that he was in fact in Impel Down. After not hearing from him in years this was certainly a shock.

•Usopp watching this questioned your odd behavior but you tried to hide it best you could. Robin being the second in command to Crocodile during her time with Baroque Works interjected, “Did they not tell you that they had a ‘thing’ with Crocodile?”

•Immediately everyone in the room froze. The tea Sanji was pouring splashed onto the ground, Usopp’s jaw fell to the floor, and Chopper’s eyes looked as if they popped out of his head.

•You looked down and blushed shamefully not knowing how to even recover from that. “Is that true?” Nami asked. All you could do was nod your head in response.

•Then they turned to Luffy who was still gouging his way through his meal, and stealing the forgotten food off of the others’

• “Are you going to say anything about this Luffy?” Usopp asked. Luffy paused his eating momentarily and quirked a brow. “What do I need to say about it?” Nami shrieked at Luffy, “Do you really not care that they had a personal relationship with Crocodile? Remember the one that stuck his hook through your body?”

•Luffy only furrowed his brows in confusion, “Why should I care who my partner was romantically involved with. It’s their past and I don’t have any reason to pry in out of them. Plus it’s over and they like me so.”

•Your eyes widened as you looked at Luffy. You smiled and blushed knowing you hit the jackpot with the captain.

Zoro

•Zoro didn’t care much for relationships, believed that they were merely a distraction. But when you came along he decided that maybe something casual wouldn’t hurt.

•He was blunt with it, telling you his feelings. Doesn’t do much physical affection until it’s night and he uses you as a personal teddy bear. He doesn’t need constant reassurance of your feelings for him and that’s what he likes most about you

•One night as you were up in the crow’s nest with him after her just got out of the shower you mustered up the courage to ask how he got that giant scar on his chest.

• “Battled the world’s greatest swordsman when I really shouldn’t have” He simply responded looking for his shirt. “And he did that to you?” You asked. “Yeah, I got owned by Mihawk.”

•You paused before your eyes widened and you turned to be face to face with Zoro, “Mihawk did that to you? The Dracule Mihawk?” Zoro furrowed his brows, “I’m pretty sure there isn’t any other master swordsman named Mihawk. Why do you ask?”

•You paused debating to tell him. “Oh, nothing…” Zoro knew this was a lie and kneeled in front of you gripping your chin and turning it towards him, “Tell me.”

•You sighed and pulled your legs to your chest, “You’re going to hate me if I tell you.” Zoro smirked, “Is that so? I want to know even more, now.”

•You exhale and look away once again, “I had sex with Mihawk.” You said swiftly hoping he wouldn’t catch all of it. Out of all the things to confess he never believed you would say that. Zoro paused and stared at you in disbelief. After a bit he squeezed his eyes shut and breathed in deeply, “How long ago?”

•You looked in his general direction but avoided his eyes, “Honestly, the last time was like a couple weeks before I met you guys.” Zoro’s eyes shot open, “A couple wee-…?! Did you just say ‘last time’? It happened more than once?!”

•You squeaked a bit, “Are you sure you want to know the answer to that?” “YES!” You bit your lip, “I don’t even know like a lot. And I mean a lot. He may not show but goddamn he can get quite passionate, and it-”

•Zoro put a hand over your mouth, “Before you ask I’m not mad. But I do have to ask, was he bigger than me?”

Sanji

•Lover fucking boy Sanji. When you came along gosh he felt so many emotions rushing to his body. Instantly fell in love but it felt different than the love he felt for anyone else.

•Gives little treats to spoil you, makes you specialty dishes and constant hugs. Gosh he just loves you so much and you can’t help but love him back.

•Feels so genuinely in love and lucky to be with you. Doesn’t fully understand why you chose him but tries not to think about it to often. Loved when you join him during his meal prep time. You guys talk and he makes you try different things to see if you like it.

•After a meal one night you offered to help him with dishes and even after him rejecting your offer countless times you still managed to wiggle your way over to the sink. He compromised by letting you dry to dishes and you rolled you eyes and obliged.

•After you guys finished Sanji lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. He released the smoke out and sighed contentedly. You smiled mischievously and grabbed it out from his lips and took a drag yourself.

•exhaling the smoke you managed to keep back the coughs that wanted to escape your throat. Needless to say Sanji was very shocked at this sudden new revelation.

•He took back the cigarette in his hand and took a drag of his own, “You never told me you smoked.” A small cough escaped your throat and Sanji quirked a smile, “I haven’t in a while.”

•Sanji raised his brow, “You used to?” You smiled slightly shifting on your feel noticing the conversation shifting in a direction you hadn’t told him about yet. “Yeah, but only once in a while. My ex smoked cigars more than 8 times a day.”

•Sanji nodded and his heart raced nervously as this was the first you had mentioned anything about your ex to him, “That doesn’t sound healthy, I mean I know I’m not one to talk, but more than 8?! He’s basically asking to die.”

•You chuckled and shrugged your shoulders, “Well they can’t actually hurt him, believe it or not.” Sanji’s head cocked in confusion, “How’s that?”

• You sighed deciding now was the best time to tell him, “Devil fruit. Guy was actually made of smoke.” At this Sanji inhaled too quickly and started a coughing fit. You panicked and rubbed his back trying to soothe him through it.

• Once he regained his compuse, “Sorry, mon ange, but you’re not insinuating that you ex is that marine captain Smoker, are you?” You went silent. “Are you?!” He asked more impatiently.

•You looked down and nodded, knowing it was shameful for a pirate to ever be involved with a marine. You looked up to meet Sanji’s flabbergasted gaze, “I know, and I’m sorry I never told you. It’s not fair to you. I understand entirely if this changes your feelings for me. I will not hold anything against you if you don’t want to be with me.”

• At this Sanji straightened up and regained his composure. Quickly putting out his cigarette he cupped your cheeks softly. “Oh mon ange, my feelings for you could never change. If you think this silly thing is enough to stunt my love you are truly mistaken. I love you so much! Something like this, yes, is surprising. However, you’re with me now and I’m the luckiest man in the world to be able to call myself your boyfriend. Do you understand me, ange?”

•Tears filled your eyes as you launched yourself into Sanji’s arms. “I love you.” Sanji smiled and held you close, “I love you too.”

(I know Smoker is a marine not a pirate but I thought he was a good character to put)

Shanks

•Shanks met you on an island and knew he had to take you with him on his adventures. You were a proud member of the Red-Haired Pirates and the proud partner of Red-Haired Shanks.

•Shanks loved to party and get drunk with you. Loved laying sloppy booze tasting kiss to your mouth. And absolutely lost it when you sat in his lap as the rest of the crew partied around you guys.

•You a more on the light-weight side always got giggly when you were drunk. As you sat on Shank’s lap you told him the most random things from your life. Tonight you decided to tell him about one of your old romantic conquests.

• “You wanna know s’mthin crazy Shanks?” You lazily asked him, your head resting on his shoulder. He smiled down at you, “Yeah, what’s that?” You giggled into his neck, “I once dated a clown. An actual fucking clown. You ‘leive that?!”

•Shanks paused for a moment before images of his old buddy Buggy resurfaced. Shanks smirked and looked down at you, “Let me guess, his name was Buggy?”

• “Nuh Uh. You’re s’upid. His name was Bugg- wait how’s you know?!” You sat up quickly.

•Shanks had never been more amused in his life, “I’m just really good at guessing.” You grimaced, “Are you mad at me because I dated someone ‘fore you?”

•Shanks brought you in for a quick kiss, “Nope!” You looked at him shocked, “Really!?” He kissed your nose, “How could I be mad when I dated the clown too?”

• You sighed and went back to resting against his chest, “Feel better now…WAIT WHAT?!”

(I know Ace was supposed to be in here but I truly don’t know how to write for Ace bc I have a shallow understanding of his character and I didn’t want to give a shitty one so I simply just didn’t include him)

[leahsgirl]

celebration night | alex greenwood x reader

based off this request except i kind of went off script a little, only a short 1.3k for because its currently 4am right now - hope you enjoy!

mentions of anxiety (only briefly), suggestive language, smut sort of??

—

it was times like these, where you were sat in the back of a car, dolled up to the nines, when you wondered how you ended up with your girlfriend.

the two of you was en route to another awards ceremony that would be celebrating her (and her teammates) contribution to the footballing world.

you was her plus one of course, having dragged you to a couple beforehand over the course of your relationship. you weren't exactly the biggest fan of these events considering you was a very introverted person with an almost constant pit of anxiety in your stomach, but you knew how much they meant to Alex and what kind of girlfriend would you be if you weren't there supporting her?

when you first met her, at a club match you went watching for your childhood friend chloe, you already had a massive crush her. what you didn't expect was for the blonde to offer getting drinks sometime when kelly introduced you and the rest was history really.

so yeah, back to the present where you, a bartender, was keeping a strong grip on your football sensation girlfriend's hand, trying your best to keep your nerves under control. "i'll say it once i'll say it again; how do you do this all the time? how do the nerves not knock you sick?"

the older girl chuckled, "nerves turns into adrenaline - and adrenaline helps me play better." stating it simply and turning her head to press a light kiss on your temple. "you'll be fine baby; you always have me remember?" alex was aware of how your thoughts could spiral to the point of no return, how you would psychoanalyse certain situations and how you anxious you could get when in big groups like tonight will be. she knew exactly how to calm you down and for that you was thankful.

the car now pulling up outside the steps that lead to the building, a chauffeur opening the door for the blonde and you, alex got out and once again held her hand out for you to take. there was a few paparazzi/photographers outside behind the rope fences calling out your girlfriends name. "alex! alex!" "alex! whose the girl with you?!" "over here alex." after a few shots you was ushered inside where the place was already buzzing with people.

they'd gone for all white and gold decorations you gathered, having noticed the balloon arch mixed with the two colours, as well as white decorative roses scattered around in bunches and a champagne tower slap bang in the centre. you never understood the point of them if you was honest, the glasses are far too dainty to remove from the pyramid and just one accidentally nudge to the poor thing and it would come crashing down.

"y/n, alex, hiya." turning around to the familiar voice you see lucy, one of the blue-eyed girls national teammates. you liked lucy, she was one of the girls you clicked with the most when visiting alex at her european and world cup tournaments. "oh my god i feel like i haven't seen you in ages" you say as you went in for a side hug. "its only been two months y/n, has alex over here been boring you that much?" the brunette smirked while your girlfriend rolled her eyes playfully.

"she's been keeping me busy actually, last week she forced me to learn how to rollerstake for no reason." its true, the thirty-year-old was always convincing you to do the stupidest, most cheesy stuff but you don't mind. In fact, it's probably one of your favourite things about her seeing this goofier side compared to the more serious and reserved ones the fans got.

"don't act like you don't secretly love it." she said crossing her arms over her chest while you just giggled in response and pecked her lips. "i do sweetheart don't worry."

after some mindless chatter with the barcelona player, staff came out to escort people to their seats. the set-up was tables of six and you was happy to find out accompanying you on your table was mary, lucy, ella and her boyfriend joe.

complimentary alcoholic beverages were being given throughout the night which you indulged in as you watched the awards being presented one by one.

alex was up for some sort of team award if you remembered correctly, not exactly understanding the drabble of words she was saying when she first told you the news, you think its eleven people getting the same award or something if you took anything from the conversation. what you did know is that she had to go up against international players which makes the award even more special if she is to win.

the night dragged on as you listened to speech after speech after speech. eventually, the time had come for 'FIFPRO Women's World 11' "that's it." you thought to yourself as the man read the title of the honour, now recalling alex telling you about fifa's women starting eleven.

"now introducing your women's starting eleven team!" the massive sliding doors opened up, revealing the ladies one by one. An overwhelming sense of pride engulfed you as you watched your partner stand on stage in her very sexy suit (if you do say so yourself) with trophy in hand. with a quick few lines from each girl, they made their way back to their seats. standing up, you beamed at alex and placed your hands on her cheeks "i'm so so proud of you." she leans in and kisses your lips, smudging your red lipstick slightly.

"you in the mood for celebrating later?" parting away from your lips, she whispered in your ear. you could see her eyes filled with lust which meant only one thing. offering to get out of there, alex and you say your goodbyes to your friends/her teammates. To be honest the ceremony was dying down anyways so it was only a matter of time before you actually did leave.

as soon as your front door closed hands grabbed your waist and pressed you onto the wall. lips attached to your neck, biting and sucking at the skin as you gave in to the quiet noises of pleasure before they found your mouth once again.

the kisses were sloppy and eager as the defender swiped her tongue across your bottom lip gaining entrance into your mouth, tongues in a fight for dominance.

she stopped. dragging you by the hand into your bedroom and pushing you onto the end of the bed. this time, she snaked her hand under your top, reaching up to massage your breast. "you're beautiful you know that?" alex watched in amusement as you tried to stay quiet while she pressed her knee up against your centre. "tell me what you want princess."

literally just the words she was saying was enough to send you over the edge if you let it. "i want- i want you lower." the breathlessness in your voice made the blonde smirk, complying with your wishes. she made her way down to your pants menacingly slow, undoing the button and sliding the silk material off until they were disregarded somewhere in the room. "can i just say, I'm practically naked and you're out here still in your suit." as much as you loved the suit, you'd much rather be seeing her toned abs right now.

taking the hint, she quickly thew the outfit off, now hovering over you in just her black lingerie. "better?" she asks and you nod, shamelessly raking your eyes down her whole body.

the man city player busied herself with tracing patterns up your thighs, getting dangerously close to your centre without actually touching it. "alex please."

toying with the elastic on your thong she looked up at you. "please what? i want to hear you say it." the lust was practically oozing out of her mouth right now. slotting her hand under the mesh material of your underwear she repeated herself, "say it y/n."

your brain was going into overdrive from the teasing she had given you; your chest heaving. "alex..please fuck me already."

she caught your lips in a passionate kiss. "good girl."

[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 14: genius

IRL, INSTAGRAM!

“hi, y/n and i’m here today with genius to explain the lyrics of my song ‘kill bill’.” you smiled at the camera.

“so, fun fact about kill bill is that it actually only took about 6 hours to produce. i, uh-” you laughed. “i saw this thing online and it made me feel some type of way, and i was like ‘i need to release what i feel right now.’ so, i took out my songbook and went crazy. i called up my friend jean, my producer, and i was crying,” you laughed again, and made a phone gesture with your hand and brought it up to your ear. “and i was like, ‘bro i just wrote these lyrics, can we make a song right now?’ and we did, in like 6 hours.”

VERSE 1

i’m still a fan even though i was salty

hate to see you with some other broad, know you happy

hate to see you happy if i’m not the one driving

“the person that this song is about is actually also an artist, and he’s actually really talented. so basically, i was saying that even though i hate that nigga,” you stuck up your middle finger. “he’s still a great artist, unfortunately. the next two lines are literal, uh, about a month, maybe a month and a half after we broke up, he was posted up with another girl. which was honestly really shitty because he broke up with me to ‘focus on his music’” you quirked your eyebrow and used quotation marks. “basically this whole song is about me being a jealous heartbroken bitch.” you sarcastically smiled.

PRE-CHROUS

i’m so mature, i’m so mature

i’m so mature, got me a therapist to tell me there’s other men

i don’t want none, i just want you

if i can’t have you, no one should

i might

“i was tryna convince myself that i was strong, and that this wasn’t hurting me as much as i thought it was, but it definitely was. literally wrote a whole muthafucking song about it.” you laughed. “we we’re dating for a long ass time to be honest, so with the ‘i don’t want none, i just want you’ lyric, it’s basically saying that i’ve been with you for so fucking long, it’s always been you, how am i supposed to move on, y’know? it’s lowkey corny but yeah. the last lyric is very um, yandere simulator vibes but it relates to the theme of the song, which is like jealousy and vengeance and possession.” you put your hands up. “don’t worry y’all, i’m not a criminal.”

CHORUS

i might kill my ex, not the best idea

his new girlfriend's next, how'd i get here?

i might kill my ex, i still love him though

rather be in jail than alone

“i can explain y’all, i’m not a killer or a criminal but imma be real, i was definitely having some intrusive thoughts. but everyone does. like, anyone who says they’ve never had thoughts about hurting someone that did them dirty, or fucked with them, they’re fucking lying, 100%. and relating to what i said before, we were together for so long. no matter how much i try to deny, the love is still there. it’s been built up for years, as much as i want to, i can’t magically forget it overnight.”

you continued on with singing the lyrics and explaining them until you completely finished the entire song.

“kill bill was an impulsive creation and release. we recorded and finished the song in like 6 hours, and i was like ‘i want to release this today’” you pointed downwards. “but everyone told me no.” you rolled your eyes. “so i asked when was the soonest we could release it, and it was like in 2 days. so the next day i posted on instagram saying that i was releasing a song tomorrow and that was it. there was no promo for it, which is why i’m so fucking shocked that it did so well. but, thank you to my fans, friends and family, i love you all. stream kill bill, album coming soon, bye!” you blew a kiss to the camera, before smiling and making heart with your hands.

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y/nsinterlude kill bill interview w @genius out neowwww!! go run it up 🫣🫣🤍

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y/nsbby ALBUM COMING SOON? HOW SOON IS SOON GIRL??

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user2000 i love u ur so real ❤️❤️

⤷ y/nsinterlude im the realest i love u too 🤍

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⤷ y/nsinterlude i’ll revive u bae 😘

user182 not u still in love with that sick man..

⤷ y/nsinterlude I DID NOT SAY THAT SHIT

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⤷ y/nsinterlude bitch u did NOT js say that

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⤷ y/nsinterlude i’m beating your ass ho

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🦋 !

- this chapter is fr just a whole lotta yapping but 🫣🫣

taglist! <3 @lovelytayy @cyberkitty1 @sqlty @cr0quis @koreluvsspring @asp7n @lottiematthewsceo @shidousmainluvr @idontknowwhatnametochoosee @drugzforyou @astrokatsuki @crvzy-fujoshi @ncentic @ilyconnie @stellartoi @bubbabobabubbles @tee4str

[joshym]

No Hands

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!Reader 

Summary: Your little game works out exactly in your favor.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: (18+ MINORS DNI) unprotected sex, light dom/sub (roles switch a bit), rough sex, oral & fingering (f receiving), some good fluff.

A/N: I had a thought in my head that I just could not shake, so naturally I had to write it out and, well, here it is lol. I’m a bit nervous as this is my first smut to post here, but I truly hope you all enjoy. <3

Huge thank you to @jakeyt for the beautiful moodboard to accompany my unhinged thoughts, and for being the best editor. <3

💛

It’s the early evening, the golden glow shining through the windows is casting the house in an alluring warm hue. Josh has been gone most of the day working on the many projects for the upcoming album.

 You miss him tremendously. You’re longing to have him near; you’re craving his touch particularly bad tonight. You keep catching yourself thinking about his hands and how well they search your body. They’re so strong and intentional with every touch. It feels like a lightning strike through your body with every graze of his fingertips.

 He’s coming home soon and you’re already plotting your scheme.

 You start to doll yourself up, putting on little touches of makeup and fixing your hair in a set of effortless curls.

 It doesn’t take much to drive Josh crazy for you, but there’s one dress in particular that sets him off every time. In fact, it’s a rule that you aren’t allowed to wear it out in public anymore because he can’t seem to control himself. The dress is tight and quite short, nearly revealing it all every time you move even slightly. The back of it is completely open with the straps crossing in the back tied with a small bow. It’s black and adorned with small white roses. It hugs your body in all the right ways, and it looks really, really good on you.

 So, naturally, you eagerly grab the dress that’s tucked away in the back of your closet. You put it on and smile widely at your reflection and instantly think to yourself, ‘he’s going to lose his damn mind.’

 Before you know it, you hear the front door unlock. Your stomach is full of butterflies, but you do your best to maintain composure as he walks in. You greet him very nonchalantly, paying no mind to the fact that you’re donning the dress.

 “Hi, baby! How did everything go today?”

 He’s staring at you with wide eyes, looking at you with pure lust-filled confusion.

 “It, uh, it went well, I guess.”

 He sets his keys down on the table in the foyer and moves his way across the living room to you, never taking his tired eyes off your body.

 “What’s the occasion, my dear?”

 He moves closer, grabbing your waist with intensity and pressing his face in the crook of your neck. His lips faintly connect with the skin under your ear. You shudder at his touch but still manage to keep up your façade.

 “Oh, this old thing? I just found it in the closet and felt like trying it on. No big deal, really.”

 His fingertips tighten around your waist as he moves his lips closer to your ear. His voice becomes low and heavy, deep and hardly above a whisper.

 “You know what this little ensemble does to me, sweetheart.”

 He attaches his lips to your neck with vigor, causing you to momentarily break character as your body trembles. His hands move down slowly to your thighs to play with the hem of your dress. He starts to move them up under the fabric until you abruptly stop him by grabbing his forearms.

 “I want to try something.”

 His lips have yet to leave your neck, only stopping to respond to your inquiry.

 “Yeah? I’m listening, lovely.”

 You want to test him and see how far you can take it. He’s quite handsy, and you love how desperately he needs to touch every part of your body. You know that this will drive him over the edge and make him even more desperate to touch every part of you.

 “Go sit on the couch and put your hands behind your back.”

 He looks at you curiously with a large smirk gracing his flushed lips.

 He takes a seat on the sofa, obeying your command and holding his hands behind him as he leans against the cushion.

 You slowly make your way over to him, being sure to make it a bit of a show as you swing your hips. You gradually lift your dress up, ever so slightly revealing your black lace panties before you straddle yourself on his lap. He starts to move his hands to touch you, but you stop him.

 “I want to try a ‘no hands’ kind of challenge. You must keep them behind your back while I kiss you, and if you move them, I’ll stop.”

 Josh lightly groans and shifts his hips upwards, sending a harsh thrust to your body as you can feel him begin to harden instantly. You’re breathless at the sensation and eager to see how far this little game will take the two of you. A devious grin graces his face, his amber eyes becoming heavy and dark.

“Sweetheart, you’re going to regret this little game. But I’ll play along.”

 It’s rare that Josh lets you take control during these fervorous moments between the two of you. He has quite the dominant side to him, and if you’re being honest with yourself, you wouldn’t have it any other fucking way.

 You’re infatuated with every part of him, especially the part that takes control and pleasures you in ways you never thought possible.

 Sometimes, though, you liked to rile him up, to test his dominant side. Tease him relentlessly until he can’t stand it any longer and really lets you have it.

 He knew exactly what you were doing, and he’s ready to give you just what you want.

 You start kissing him with intense desire. Your hands cup his face while you explore his hungry mouth with your tongue. You start to move your kisses to his jawline, one of your favorite spots, licking and sucking on the tight skin.

 He hasn’t even tried to move his hands yet. Dammit. Time to amp things up.

 You start kissing the spot under his ear, licking his earlobe where his silver hoop rests between kisses. You know this drives him mad, and his reaction tells you he’s beginning to lose control.

 You decide to turn things up one more notch. You begin moving your body, grinding yourself on his lap. You feel him start to twitch, his breathing becoming labored and staggered.

 “Baby…you’re only making this worse for yourself…”

 His voice is becoming more sinister, more possessive, more domineering. You feel his arms tense up as he’s fighting the urge to grab you.

 You’ve got him right where you want him. Just a bit more taunting and he’ll give it up.

 You suck dark marks all over his neck, moving your hands to his hair and lightly pulling. Your movement becomes vigorous against his lap, and you feel yourself starting to tremble at the sensation.

 “I don’t think you can keep this up much longer, baby. I can feel how wet you are, you’re shaking. How much longer ‘til you let me take care of you, huh?”

 He’s starting to find the loophole in your plan. He’ll get you to give in and give this whole thing up, taking over his place as the one in control.

 And fuck, if you didn’t want that so badly.

But you’re not ready to give in. Not yet. You have to see how far he’ll let you go.

 “You’re being so good for me, Joshy.”

 You manipulate your voice to sound much more composed than you actually are, trying to keep up this semblance of control when in reality you’ve never been more ready for him to ravish you.

 You up the ante once more, knowing this will more than likely be what does him in.

 You reach down between your bodies and grope him through his khaki shorts, evoking a strong reaction from him.

 “That’s it, y/n.”

 He moves his hands from behind his back and grabs your waist, flinging you off him and laying you on your back on the couch. It all happened so quickly; you didn’t even have time to retaliate.

 He makes up for lost time, maneuvering his hands to every inch of your body with potency. He bunches the fabric of your dress up to your hips, not wanting to waste the time to take it off completely. His fingers dip down to the black lace still covering your soaked pussy.

 “Look at that, sweet girl. You’ve got yourself all worked up. What shall we do about that, hm?”

 You giggle breathlessly, unable to form words due to the anticipation of what is about to happen.

 “Uh uh. Tell me. Tell me what we need to do about it. You did this to yourself, sweetheart. Now use your words and tell me what you want, or I’ll stop.”

 The roles have officially reversed. He’s played you with your own game. And you love it.

 “I want you to use those incredible hands of yours all over me..”

 You meet his lips with a few small pecks.

 “..and your mouth..”

 The kisses deepen.

 “and your cock…”

 He’s smirking against your lips as his hands begin to delve into exploring every crevice of your body.

 He grabs your neck, squeezing lightly but with enough force to cause your breath to hitch. His other hand has bunched your dress all the way up to your stomach. He traces his fingers down the expanse of your belly, stopping right above the waistband of your panties, then moving to your exposed hip.

 The hand on your neck moves down slowly to your chest. He grabs your breast through the fabric still covering it, kneading with his firm fingers and brushing his thumb over your nipple.

 His lips travel down to your neck, sucking large love marks in the skin, softly biting and licking in between marking you up.

 He pulls off your neck with a ‘pop’ from his mouth. Your skin is soaked from him.

 “As much as I want to rip this cute little dress off of you, I think you should keep it on to remember why you’re not allowed to wear it in this first place.”

 His hand on your hip moves back to your aching pussy still covered with black lace.

 “Oh I think you’ve ruined these, sweetheart. What a shame. I love these on you.”

 He pulls your panties all the way down your legs and throws them somewhere on the floor, leaving your wetness fully exposed. His fingers waste no time toying with you, rubbing hard and slow circles over and around your clit. Your body shakes and quivers with each movement of his fingertips.

 His middle and ring fingers slide down to push past your entrance and fuck into you with intensity, his palm creating delicious friction against your clit.

 His hands are so skilled, so strong; you feel like melting under his every touch. His long fingers immediately hit that place deep inside you that only he knows is there, that can only be reached by his touch.

 You’re already so close. A melody of powerful moans escapes you, and you don’t even bother silencing them. You feel yourself tightening around his fingers when they suddenly slow to an agonizing halt. His deep and taunting voice grabs your attention away from his stilled movement.

 “Already? You that needy for me, baby?”

 His face just barely above yours, his warm breath tickling your skin in the most glorious way.

 “Josh please, please don’t stop…I need you so bad..”

 “Oh, you sound so pretty when you beg for me.”

 His fingers start moving again, picking up their pace and you’re right back to where you were before he stopped.

 The waves of pleasure come crashing over you like a tsunami. Your whole body tenses up under his touch, shaking uncontrollably, your back arched completely off the couch, bending to his will to please you. He keeps going, fucking his delectable fingers into you through each pulse and throb of your body.

 You’re almost faint at the sensation. Josh pulls his fingers out and brings them up to your lips. You open for him as he places them on your tongue and you suck them in, tasting yourself and moaning at the feeling of them in your mouth.

 “That was a big one, yeah? I felt you tighten up so hard around me. You think you can handle more, sweetheart?”

 You nod and hum around his fingers that are still tucked away, splayed across your tongue.

 “Good, ‘cause I’m not done with you yet.”

 Josh lifts you up on your knees, your elbows resting against the back of the couch. He stands behind you in admiration as you spread yourself for him. He gives a soft slap to your hip, kneeling to the ground at eye level with your throbbing core as his hands grab your thighs.

 “You’re so pretty and pink after you’ve been played with, baby.”

 He delivers velvet kisses to the backs of your thighs, slowly making his way to where you need his swollen lips the most.

 His lips move closer and closer, until he finally lands a deep kiss to your desperately wet pussy.

 His tongue laps at you without relent, his lips encompass your swollen clit.

 “You feel so fucking good Josh, fu-”

 You’re already close again. Your moans are deafening at the slight over stimulation that is nothing but elating.

 “J-Josh…please don’t, please don’t stop I’m so close…”

 Your body is trembling, barely able to hold yourself steady as your second release washes over you.

 He stands up and his face meets your shoulder, feeling your wetness all over his facial hair.

 “You taste so sweet, y/n. I could eat you up over and over.”

 You’re short of breath, still coming down from your climax.

 He leaves kisses on your shoulder as you hear him unzip his shorts.

 “Think you can handle my cock, darling?”

 “Y-yes, please. I need you inside me so bad.”

 He places his head at your entrance. He’s unbelievably hard, and you smile at knowing it’s all because of your pleasure.

 “Needy little thing, aren’t you? You gonna cum for me again, hm?”

 He’s barely nudging at you. You’re practically pushing yourself against him.

 “Joshy please fuck me. I need to feel you, please…”

 With that, he slowly pushes into you all the way, filling you completely and perfectly.

 “Fuck, y/n. You’re so tight, sweet girl.”

 He starts thrusting, building up his pace until he’s slamming himself into you.

 His hands are moving up and down your body, pushing on your back, grabbing at your hair, holding on to your hip. These hands that you love so much; these hands that turn you on instantly. They’ve not stopped exploring you and pleasing you. You can’t get enough of his fucking hands.

 He’s fucking you with so much rough passion and desire. Your body is on fire with pleasure.

 He lifts you gently by your hair, bringing your back up to rest against him.

 “I’m close baby. Give me one more, yeah? Then I’ll fill you up real good. Just one more for me, need to feel you cum on my cock.”

 His fingers sneak down to your clit, rubbing impossibly fast circles.

 “I’m gonna cum again, Josh..oh god please don’t stop.”

 He’s moaning beautifully in your ear as his peak is almost reached, causing you to let go around him, cumming even harder than either time before.

 “Fuck, y/n, that’s it baby. FUCK!”

 He finally meets his own release, spilling his warmth inside of you, twitching with each pulse of your body.

 You both stay just like this for a few minutes catching your breath and basking in this moment together.

 He gently pulls out of you, causing you to slump down on the couch. You’re absolutely spent, having been pleasured beyond all imagination.

 He lays down beside you. He faces you and brushes your disheveled hair out of your face, giggling at your fucked out state.

 “I didn’t break you, did I?”

 You laugh breathlessly, “Not quite.”

 “I love you a lot, you know.”

 “I love you too, Josh. So damn much.”

 He glides his hand over your cheekbones and rubs his thumb over your bottom lip, smiling at you.

 “I know exactly what you were doing, by the way.”

 “What are you talking about?”

 “Your little ‘no hands’ game. Maybe next time, you’re the one that can’t use your hands. Maybe we tie them behind your back. How does that sound, hm?”

 You bite your lip to hold back the smile that is trying to grace your lips at the thought of him taking your game to the next level.

 “Sounds great, Joshy. As long as your sexy hands are free the whole time.”

He smiles, knowing just how much his hands drive you crazy.

“Well then, you better keep this dress in a safe place.”

Part 2

Masterlist

[suzukiblu]

I just read the maws bonding ficlets from the start. It’s so cute. Just immediate child acceptance. Clark is going “so I’m a dad now” no questions asked.

no questions only dad.

“I like the name,” Superboy mumbles into his chest, just barely shy about it. Conner mumbles into his chest. Clark feels an overwhelming warmth in his own thrumming heart and smiles helplessly, then gives Lois the soft, besotted look he can’t hold back. They have a baby. It’s so great. Conner is so great. He and Lois have a baby and he's great!

Lois turns very red, for some reason, then straightens up and shoves her phone back in her pocket as she clears her throat. 

“Conner James Lane-Kent,” she decides firmly, putting her hands on her hips. “I’d say ‘Olsen’ for the middle name but ‘James’ we can sell as a coincidence easier when we’re figuring out how to explain . . . literally all of this. Any of this. This is going to be very difficult to explain, actually, given the fact you two are functionally identical. Hm. Yeah, the cover’s gonna require some work.” 

“We’ll figure something out,” Clark hums unconcernedly, nuzzling Conner’s hair. Conner bites him, then jumps up and wraps himself around him like a supernaturally strong koala. Clark rumbles happily–his kid likes him!–and Conner starts purring just as happily. Clark feels even warmer. 

“. . . also you two can never do that out of costume,” Lois says. “Like, ever.” 

“Hm?” Clark glances back at her, a little puzzled. “Why not?” 

“Clark,” Lois says, staring at him. “The sounds you two are making right now sound like if a mantis shrimp was trying to explain color theory. Those aren’t even sounds, I’m pretty sure, our senses just don’t know how else to translate them.” 

“I think my fillings are buzzing,” Jimmy agrees thoughtfully, poking at his own cheek. “Feels kinda weird.” 

“But Conner’s so cute when he purrs,” Clark says, trying not to pout at the idea of telling his kid he can’t purr whenever he wants to. Conner purrs louder and bites him again. It’s the most adorable thing that’s ever happened in the entire history of the universe. In the entire history of any universe. Like, all those alternate realities they saw only wish that anything that adorable had ever happened to them.

“That sounds like purring to you?!” Lois asks incredulously. 

“Yes,” Clark says, a little puzzled. “Why, what does it sound like to you?” 

“A rockslide causing a ten-car pile-up,” Lois says frankly. 

“And you sound like somebody made a pack of tigers fight a whale,” Jimmy says. 

“I don’t think tigers do packs,” Clark says, frowning consideringly and hooking Conner into a headlock as the other tries to claw his face off in the cutest possible fashion. “Do they?” 

“I don’t think so, but lions’ roars aren’t as bone-jarring and viscerally terrifying to hear up close as tigers’,” Jimmy says. “So I went with the scarier one.” 

“Pa’s not scary!” Conner protests indignantly, scowling at Jimmy, and Clark feels warm all over again and hugs him harder. Well–tightens the headlock, anyway. Same difference. He really was so worried about being a weapon, being something dangerous, being . . . 

He can’t imagine ever worrying about that again, when Metropolis turned its lights off for him and Lois and Jimmy both trust him even knowing what he’s become in other realities and Conner knew it was safe to come and find him. 

And when he’s looking at Conner, he can’t feel like any kind of a “weapon” at all. 

No. Not even a little bit. 

“Clark’s not scary, no, but the sound of a pack of tigers fighting a whale is,” Jimmy says. “The rockslide and ten-car pile-up is a little unsettling too, to be honest. Like, much less so, but it’s still on the radar there.” 

“No it’s not, it’s precious,” Clark says, then starts preening Conner’s ruffled curls into some semblance of order again. Well . . . a vague impression of it, anyway. Maybe. Kind of. 

A bit. 

. . . possibly that’s a fool’s errand, but whatever. He’s willing to put the effort in for his kid, fool’s errand or not.

[mochiimadness]

I wonder what it would be like for Splinter if he fell in love? This isn't an xreader thing, for obvious reasons. It's just a scenario I haven't really seen explored for his character, and I'm curious how you'd portray it.

Hello! I wasn’t sure which version of Splinter you wanted, so I did both! Also, I could write a splinter x reader if someone requested it (not sure what you meant by 'obvious reasons' /lh), I did not make this one a splinter x reader tho ^^

2012 Splinter

Oh Hamato Yoshi, a man of so little yet so many words-

It takes him a bit to actually fall in love

He is hesitant about pursuing another romantic relationship

Is genuinely traumatized from his last one

Rightfully so, he saw his wife die, daughter as well (or so he thought for years) all at the hands of someone he onced called his brother- only to get mutated soon after.

Yeah… not a very good experience…

But when he falls, he is absolutely devoted to his person

He is very formal, approaching his crush in a gentlemanly manner

Is kinda old fashioned

The type to bring flowers and open doors for his partner

When he was with Tang Shen, he ended up losing sight of what was important

And became very distant and dismissive

He knows better now, and makes sure to go out of his way to pay attention

He does still struggle though,

Often choosing to meditate over quality time

As his relationship grows, however, he becomes better at being present.

Makes sure to set time aside for his partner

He doesn’t mind doing whatever, but he does prefer quieter activities-

A drama show perhaps, or drinking tea together.

As he becomes more relaxed in his relationship-

His playful side emerges

And surprisingly- he can be very goofy

I mean- he has a cheese phone in a glass case. He chose that. It’s meant for serious emergencies- you can’t tell me he wasn’t making a joke about his current mutation.

He tells dad jokes- really corny ones too

And his laugh is a full-on belly laugh where he throws his head back

He enjoys making his beloved laugh,

Will sometimes even ask Michelangelo for any new jokes to tell!

Overall, he's very sweet, goofy and old-fashioned with his partner,

He is also incredibly protective- perhaps a bit over protective

But considering the fact that he and his family are being hunted down by the man who killed his last wife-

His over protectiveness is warranted.

Does NOT take chances- if his beloved is captured, he is going there and demolishing anyone who gets in his way.

Makes sure his beloved is okay, before taking them home to curl up and watch some old drama show

Cheese-sicles included.

Rise Splinter

This may or may not come as a surprise-

But I honestly think it takes him a while to truly fall in love with someone

I feel like he has some trust issues

Definitely has high walls when it comes to relationships

Being a popular celebrity back in day taught him a thing or two about letting people get too close

Most people were usually only after him for his fame and fortune-

Looking to use him to rise to the top themselves

So he made sure to keep a decent distance

Until Big Mama of course

Which only made his trust issues 100x worse.

If he were to fall in love again, it would only be after a long time

There needs to be a very strong, and very solid foundation of trust

He would like to avoid being locked up and forced to fight to the death again, thank you very much.

On top of his trust issues-

He has major abandonment issues

If he ever went through with trying to have another relationship,

There would need to be a lot of communication-

Lots of working on and assuring him that his partner isn’t going anywhere.

As for his behavior??

He’s very avoidant in a rather outgoing way

It’s kinda weird to witness actually

The second he realizes he actually has romantic feelings for someone- he’s panicking

Tries to avoid them but also makes sure to be nice

He’s nowhere in sight whenever his crush is around but if they happen to catch him?

He’s chatting up a storm, sitting them down for a cup of tea or some food

Casually handing them a slice of pizza and once their attention is on it

Poof- vanished from sight once they turn around.

Once he starts actually giving a relationship a try though??

Man is whipped with a capital W

THE BIGGEST SIMP EVER

Quality time??? Physical touch???? GIFT GIVING??!?!?!!

His crush is getting it all

Quality time is an absolute must, he always wants to be around them no matter what it is they’re doing.

Knitting? He’s there.

2am snacks?? He already has their favorite

Movie time???? He made sure his projector is completely repaired AND made the couch the comfiest spot ever.

Loves to cuddle and hold hands, generally likes to be in contact with his beloved in anyway he can

Will even wrap his tail around one of their limbs if his hands are full

*cough* or if he’s too lazy to move from his comfy position *cough*

And on top of that?? He actually has decent money from his time as Lou Jitsu

He can and will have his sons help him figure out online ordering.

His beloved is getting any and everything they want

Only the best for them, he makes sure to buy top quality items

A lot of the gifts are an eyesore to look at though- his personal taste is…. intense…

Thankfully, his family helps him out.

Overall a very attentive, but clingy, partner

Will proudly boast about his beloved to anyone who asks (or doesn’t)

Has one of those wallets with the long long photo strips

He shoves them in everyone’s faces

I hope you enjoyed!! Apologies for the long wait;;

[mtkay13]

-你身上有光 dyptich-

BACK AGAIN with more "Light on you" stuff! I really can't let go of this passage, haha. And I have A LOT MORE TO SAY so Let's go! (LONG post ahead)

This post will contain:

my own attachment and what I love in this scene

what lead me to depict them like this

a personal translation of the passage in the book

But to begin with, a little something about storytelling. In order to help writers, some "storytelling rules" have been set up and theorised about. Those rules are, of course, meant to be broken, and one does not need to follow them in order to write a good story; but during the storytelling course I followed, a few of those rules have stuck with me, especially this one:

The main character, the hero of the story, will be the one to shine or to "save the day" in the end.

Again--does this rule need to be respected for a good story? Not necessarily, but when struggling with how to manage an ending or a main character, it can be helpful.

Anyway. For me, this scene, the "there's light on you" scene, kind of is that scene--that one scene where ZZS is the main character, is the hero. TYK has an interesting story structure, where if you go by the book of typical wuxia stories, ZCL would be the main character; and if you look at whom goes through the biggest internal journey throughout the story, it would be WKX. ZZS's own story technically spans across both QY and TYK, which makes TYK a bit more about WKX's journey than ZZS'.

But that very scene is not only ZZS saving WKX, but also ZZS reaching the conclusion of his own journey. By the end of QY, ZZS didn't go and meet with Jiuxiao. He deliberately looked the other way, too scared to go check on him, too superstitious; and in the end, Jiuxiao died. TYK puts ZZS in a similar position: someone he loves is away, and the choice to go reach them is in his hands. He decided to respect WKX's wish to go and fight his own battle alone, yet he ultimately went against it, changed and moved on from who he was in QY, to go and fight by WKX's side.

It's no surprise that I'm very into ZZS, and this image of him bathed in light, beating the scorpion to his own game and "taking back" this main character spot... It makes me go insane. Not to mention all the incredible quotes of this passage. "His person"? "There's light on you"? Come on!! I'm also. Obsessed with how and what WKX saw. What he must have felt, as he was ready to die, when he saw his person, his husband, dashingly get rid of all the enemies, almost at the peak of his power, come and "collect his corpse"--save him? Just!! Imagine!!! Imagine being WKX and this is how it ends!!! You're the GVM, you've had the life you've had, you finally meet someone that you truly love, the guy's about to die, then maybe not, AND THEN HE COMES TO SAVE YOUR LIFE AGHHHH 😭😭😭 Sorry, I REALLY like this. REALLY.

-------

cough--So, about their expressions and what I wanted to represent. For ZZS, to me... it was a mix of closure, fondness, and satisfaction. I think that ZZS had a "good time", going back to who he was before: tailing the scorpions, going undercover, ambushing from the shadows--not to mention slowly retrieving his full power. I think that this ZZS feels quite good, especially now that he got the confirmation that WKX is still alive. Then, the feeling of having done "the right thing". He's... beyond regret, now. He was able to follow his heart, quite literally, and that also feels good. The fondness is of course because he's looking at WKX. What else is he supposed to feel?? They haven't met for 3 months! I think that he's worried, but they trust each other. He trusts that WKX will survive this, that he'll be strong, that he won't die on him. So yeah. I wanted this ZZS confident--in himself, in WKX, in the future. WKX is a bit dazed, there. Probably in pain, and a bit stunned as he wasn't expecting it. But he's also... a bit enthralled; by this light, by how impressive and efficient his husband is, and, of course, the fact that ZZS came for him. The person he loves, the person whose life matters more than everything else now that WKX has reached his goal, came for him, came to save him. This stupid guy came for him instead of going to the mountain to prepare on his own. Yet another blatant show of them being so alike, isn't it? I guess... it's just a lot of love, a bit of pride, the faintest hint of him being amused, even--and maybe relief, as well. He won't die, and ZZS is there, and he's strong, and again, like for ZZS, there's a future--which he never allowed himself to properly consider, I believe. -------- Finally, a personal retranslation of that scene. I did it not because I thought it really needed it but because the only existing TL of this part of the book doesn't allow for reposting and I figured I may as well try. So for anyone who doesn't remember the passage or hasn't read the book/reached this chapter, here it is!

The Scorpion raised his hand and was immediately handed a weapon. His smile vanished as he looked at Wen Kexing leaning against the tree, already quite injured. He said: “For someone like the Ghost Lord, I must act in person—it would be quite disrespectful to get someone else to do the job.” 

As he spoke, he raised his hook across his chest and approached slowly. He continued in a low voice: “I invite the Ghost Lord to walk ahead on the Yellow Spring road.” 

He then fell silent, raising the hook higher and higher. Wen Kexing opened his eyes, quietly looking at him, his pitch-black irises like two dark pools of murky water, calm as if he wasn’t the one about to die.

The Scorpion suddenly felt a violent gush of wind surging from the side, charged with killing intent—electrified by an aura of death, goosebumps rising on his skin, he shouted as he lifted his hook in the air and promptly sliced through—the assailant was wearing the black robes of the scorpions, but didn’t wear a mask, had a soft blade in hand—he swiftly avoided the hook; a sudden, sharp pain made the Scorpion cry out as the soft blade wrapped around his arm which, at once, was ripped from his body and fell to the ground. 

The several scorpions standing behind their leader immediately assumed a tactical formation—but then, a dashing figure, a metallic chime, and they all stood, dazzled; one swift move for it to be settled: one man standing, several men on the ground. Whether they were dead or alive, all of those who layed still were missing the arm holding their weapon. 

Wen Kexing recognised the man. He abruptly sighed, and said in a low voice: “Idiot, what are you doing here?”

Zhou Zishu threw him a side glance and sneered: “I came to collect your corpse, madman.” 

The effects of the Nails of seven apertures and three autumns were suppressed by the medicine Da Wu had given Zhou Zishu, and at that moment his gong fu had been restored to nine parts of its peak capacity. If the Scorpion already wasn’t on par should they have a fair fight, then he didn’t stand a chance when ambushed from the shadows. 

Zhou Zishu turned to the Scorpion, the pointed end of Baiyi slightly angled down, and he sharply asked: “You dare threaten my person?”

A bit stunned, Wen Kexing watched the back of the man standing in front of him, and slight shivers started coursing through his fingers resting on the ground. 

The Scorpion’s face was deathly pale, yet he still managed to smile and painfully say: “Ah… Brother Zhou, my apologies, I didn’t expect you to honour us with your presence.” 

He briefly gauged the two men, waving his remaining hand: “Great master, we won’t counter any further. We bid you farewell———retreat!”

The few scorpions that were still alive crawled and scrambled to their feet and hurriedly followed the Scorpion as he withdrew. Zhou Zishu didn’t try to follow and just turned around to face and look at Wen Kexing.

Wen Kexing’s eyes shone brightly, but he simply chuckled: “You should be more careful for…” 

Before he could finish, Zhou Zishu’s eyes focused, he swiftly twirled, the blade that was in his hand suddenly split through the air in a beautiful arch—a tinkling sound as it hit something, and soon enough a muffled groan rose from the woods behind them. Zhou Zishu shook his head and sighed: “Using the same move against the same person twice—are all these scorpions merely one trick ponies? And they dare claim to be on par with Siji manor?”

Wen Kexing watched him, slightly dazed. His mouth curved into a smile as he suddenly extended his hand in the air, trying to catch something.

Zhou Zishu frowned and asked: “What are you doing?”

Wen Kexing said softly: “There’s light… on your body. I’m catching it to see…” 

Thanks for reading!

[stupidlovergirl]

TL;DR He's HOT pt 2 Getting caught about how attractive they are, by them Feat. Solomon, Simeon, Barbatos, Diavolo Bros. Version not edited Dev Notes:Sorry I've been gone!! I finished my semester and took a little to rest.

You had came to visit Solomon at Purgatory Hall, yet when Simeon opened the door, you quickly found out that the sorcerer was running to get a few ingredients. Next thing you knew, you were telling him about how attractive you found your teacher.

"He's just different, you know? I like how he makes me feel. Not to mention, he's pretty attractive I got to say. Something about the fact he is so knowledgeable while still being able to be fun is so refreshing. I like being able to to have serious discussion and also able to chill" and you kept on. Talking about how much you liked the sorcerer, you didn't hear the door open and Solomon walk in. Hearing you and Simeon talking, he stopped before entering. Solomon feels so smug. The fact that you are into him while there are so many after you is an ego boost. It also makes him happy, because he is very into you also.

Waiting later, he brings it up and talks about it, relishing in the embarrassment on your face. He laughs when you cover your face. Pulling them down, you can see the smirk on his face

"Don't worry, I think your pretty attractive too"

Simeon is a man who has a strong morals and ideas. So he feels kind of bad listening in on your conversation. He just came to drop off some baked goods from Luke. So when he heard you on the phone talking about a man with "a cute little waist" and "the most attractive face sculpted by God," he felt bad and went to knock.

"Simeon is the most attractive man I have ever met. I don't understand how he is so cute and sexy at once!"

He halted, and he felt the heat rise to his face as soon as his name escaped your mouth. He took a moment. Calming himself down and finally knocked on the door. After a few seconds, you open the door. You seemed flustered at his appearance,

"Hello, Luke wanted me to drop this off to you. He is having baking lessons with Barbatos, so he wasn't able come"

"Ah, thanks" you say, taking the container "Uhm, can I ask you something?"

"Of course" Simeon says, smiling at you softly

"Did, you, uh, hear any of that?" you reply, rubbing your neck

"Ah, yes, I did. I appreciate how fond you seem of me. I think this is a good time to tell you I'm quite fond of you too" he tells you with a smile.

Barbatos was sent to pick up some important forms from Lucifer, so since he was there he decided to come pay you a visit. Hearing your voice from inside the kitchen, he went to investigate.

"Mammon, you are SO wrong! The most attractive demon hands down is Barbatos. I mean HELLO? He can literally do it all. He takes care of Diavolo, cleans the entire of the palace, makes the entirety of the meals, and THEN some! Also, just his face in general? Ugh, I could look at him forever. Perfect little malewife if I have ever seen one"

Well. That was interesting. Deciding not to come clean just yet. He was going to wait for the perfect opportunity. Which happened a few days after when you came for tea at the palace.

"Hey! Barbatos!" you called as you approached the butler

"Hello" he simply says, turning to face you

"How ya' been? Lucifer said you were at the House of Lamentation a little while ago but you didn't come and say hi!" you said with a smile.

"Ah yes, you were having a interesting conversation with Mammon in the kitchen and I didn't want to interrupt you" he smiles, but the look of mischief in his eyes don't go unnoticed.

"Something about how I was the 'perfect little malewife', if I directly quote you."

You clam up at this comment.

"Oh, uhm, yeah...haha...uhm"

"Don't worry, I took it as a compliment. You are quite cute when you gush about me, I'd like it if you told it directly to me." You blush at this, rubbing the side of your neck.

"Maybe over dinner?" you ask sheepishly

"I was hoping you'd say that"

Diavolo was walking to meet you after a day at RAD for a meeting with the exchange students, discussing how you personally thought it could be improved. Now imagine his surprised when he heard you giggling with Asmo over the most attractive demon.

"What! No way! Give me ALL the details!!!" He heard the fifth born squeal out from around the corner, "When did you start liking him??"

"I dunno, it just happened. One day I just acknowledged he was cute, and then it slowly started to build up. Like how he smiles so big when he's happy, how he is able to balance everything so well, but doesn't allow himself to get super stressed." Diavolo was intrigued at your words, what demon has you that wrapped around their finger, he's going through the list when he hears you take a deep breath in

"I don't feel like it was a definitive time, but just a slow build up. I just knew that I really liked Diavolo after awhile when I started getting so anxious during meetings with him. OH SHIT! I HAVE A MEETING TODAY!!" and with that line he hears your footsteps running towards him, and you slam into his broad chest, almost falling if he hadn't caught you. He laughed loudly at the dazed and flushed look on your face.

"Hello! What are you up to?" he asked curiously

"On my way to meet you actually..."

"I heard you." he says simply, smile growing even bigger as the panic sets in on your face.

"OH HA HA HA" you laugh loudly, looking at him panic in your eyes

"Don't worry darling, your affections are completely returned, probably doubled if I'm honest"