#but yeah! here you go!

[the-haunted-office]

Memories of Sorrow ((for Doom!))

Send “Memories of Sorrow” to see a painful and tragic memory of My Muse..

The universe is full of strange and curious happenstances, inexplicable events that occur for no particular reason other than that they simply must occur, leaving all parties to wonder, what in the ever-loving hell was that all about? and what purpose did that serve? or even should we collectively pretend this never happened?

This incident is one such occurrence.

Doom is sitting on the couch with Jonas in his apartment one fine day, sharing a bowl of junk food, when an accidental bumping of hands joins them together in a... very unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how one wants to look at it) circumstance.

Doomsday is unaware of it, at first. She won't become aware of it until it's nearly over. To her, the whole experience feels like a sort of tickling in her brain, a niggling in her mind, like someone is poking around in here, moving around. For a few panicked seconds she thinks she might have brain worms. But those few panicked seconds pass rather quickly both on account of them being only a few seconds and the fact that if she were to have brain worms, she could just die and respawn and the brain worms would be gone. Boom. Done. Problem solved. Easy as that.

For Jonas, on the other hand, the experience is rather different. For him, he experiences the sensation of being teleported inside of Doomsday's head, which, to her credit, she's made an effort of tidying up lately, although it's still littered with a bunch of trauma. It's lying about like piles of mixed clean and dirty laundry, but she can't help it. The sorting's been rough and it's difficult to tell what's clean and what's dirty until she picks it up and gives it a good strong whiff, but she's getting there.

Still, where Jonas ends up being dropped is into a memory that looks an awful lot like the control booth of the Office, and that's because it is. He is seeing things through Doomsday's eyes, although he might not yet be aware of it, and what he is seeing through her eyes is an old desk of dark brown wooden material, an old computer monitor that looks like it is from the 90s sitting atop it, along with a microphone, and paper, lots and lots of stacks of papers, everywhere. Sitting in front of that set-up, in a ratty old computer chair, is an older gentleman who appears to be in his early 50s, with lightish brown hair streaked with gray.

The lights are bright. The room smells old and musty and like an old library. And he, Jonas, seems to be perched over the back of the chair in which the older man sits.

Both of their attentions are focused on the computer monitor, on which there is a man, a simple, average-looking man perhaps in his mid-30s, short black hair with long bunches in the front (a rather odd cut, but it does seem to suit him), wearing your typical office worker's attire of a white button-up shirt, black slacks, and black shoes along with a black tie. He is walking through a doorway and into what appears to be a lounge area of some kind, as there are a few plushy couches present and a vending machine.

The older man sitting in the chair is grousing about something. Most of his words are coming through mumbled and unclear, but there is something about, "Now, Stanley, you know what you're supposed to do next. Walk through the employee lounge, don't dawdle-"

The man on the monitor - Stanley, apparently - sort of mocks what the older man in the booth with Jonas just said by shaking his head and using his hand to make a yapping motion, although Stanley doesn't actually speak any words.

Jonas starts laughing, but it isn't his laughter that comes out, it's Doomsday's, and it sounds much lighter, less mischievous and sinister, and more genuine, more friendly, happier, more like Thursday's if Jonas had known her well enough.

The old man becomes very angry at this display and snaps back at Stanley, "Oh, you! You stop that, Stanley! And you, Thursday! Get out of my ear with that cackling of yours! And stop hitting my chair like that!"

On the monitor, Stanley continues into the lounge while in the control booth, Cyrus continues grumbling and Jonas/Thursday/Doomsday continues giggling.

Suddenly, Stanley seems to catch his shoe on the carpet of the lounge and stumbles first to one knee, and then falls forward onto both hands and knees.

Jonas/Thursday/Doomsday continues to laugh. "Ahahahahaha, Stanley! You're so silly!"

The old man, on the other hand, doesn't find any of this to be funny. "Oh, now you're pretending to be clumsy, is that it, Stanley? Well, that's fine. Who am I to argue with you if you want to crawl all the way to the meeting room?"

In the employee lounge, something seems to be going on with Stanley, though. The old man and Jonas/Thursday/Doomsday don't notice it at first - although perhaps Jonas might - but Stanley is having trouble breathing. His gasps for air don't become loud enough until he starts crawling over to the corner by the vending machine, and by then he is grasping at the collar of his shirt and trying to pull it open with shaking hands that aren't quite strong enough or coordinated enough to do so.

He manages to get a couple of the buttons in the middle undone, but it doesn't do anything. The man known as Stanley lays his head against the wall, and closes his eyes, like he's going to sleep, and becomes quiet. Very quiet. And still. So still, even his chest and stomach and diaphragm stop moving. All of him stops moving.

It all happens so suddenly and so sharply, both the old man and Jonas/Thursday/Doomsday can't even tell that anything has happened at all. All they can see is that Stanley fell down, crawled into a corner, and fell asleep. They both think Stanley is still fooling around for laughs, as he always does, so much so that the old man is still complaining about it and Jonas/Thursday/Doomsday is still laughing.

Things begin to get fuzzy from there. Wonky. Everything fades out, bleeds out, as Jonas is knocked back into the area of Doom's mind where all the piles of trauma laundry sit and there's an overwhelming feeling of STANLEY'S DEAD AND I WATCHED HIM DIE AND I WAS LAUGHING AND I DID NOTHING TO SAVE HIM AND IT'S MY FAULT.

And then, almost as if none of that was anything, Jonas is plopped right back into himself, on the couch right next to where Doom is sitting, with the bowl of junk food sitting in between them.

Doom pauses. Looks over at Jonas, her brow crumpled up in confusion. Blinks at him. And says, "This might sound a bit insane, Jonas... but were you... just inside my head a moment ago?"

[dooxliss]

alright I'll bite, tell us about your OCs. who they are, fav movies, least fav foods, the works

i have. so many ocs and you can see the ones i’ve drawn in my #gari’s ocs tag :^) but i’ll narrow it down for this ask

Agent 3

jacinthe vermillion (i always forget if i spell it with 1 l or 2. so if it’s different elsewhere no it isn’t)

they/she

was 15 in splat1’s hero campaign, is 22 during splat3’s (valentine’s baby!)

has two siblings (pumpkin who is ~8 years younger and rusty who is 3 years older. jacinthe loves pumpkin but has serious beef with rusty)

prefers short range weapons like the aerospray due to being slightly nearsighted, vision is now greatly reduced due to octo expansion

the world’s biggest fan of squid squad, was devastated when they broke up but still keeps up with diss pair and front roe

based on firefly squids and can glow in the dark naturally :^)

goes for comfort over style 90% of the time

Agent 4

chartreuse ’char’ viridigris

she/her

was 16 in splat2, 21 in splat3 (march birthday)

very academically inclined

met jacinthe bc they were subletting their apartment for the time that they were on a mission with cuttlefish

moved to inkopolis to finish school 👍🏽

budding hyperfixation is vexillology

special interest of nudibranches and owns several

not knowledgeable in pop culture at all but listened to jacinthe’s cds while she lived there

if asked to pick a band tho she would answer squid sisters in front of callie/marie to save face but enjoys sashi mori and chirpy chips

based on glass squids :^)

hydra main! she isn’t very fast naturally so prefers to use weapons where she doesn’t need to cross the entire map

Agent 8

coral ‘eight’ (answers to both)

she/her

around 18 during octo expansion, thought to be 23 during side order

in a qpr with jacinthe (jacinthe is sapphic coral is ace biromantic)

has a brother named razz who was with coral when fighting jacinthe before octo expansion, doesn’t seem to remember very much about him in the present

lived with pearl and marina post octo expansion until chartreuse decided to move away, leaving space at jacinthe’s apartment

(the three agents did live together for about a year or two)

bad at pool

tetra dualies main

misses traditional octarian food a lot

bilingual like marina and they talk a lot about the old days

looked up to marina both before and after the military, but probably wouldn’t have tried to leave herself for some time

is very good at cooking but not at baking

Neo Agent 3

marigold ‘goldie’ (vastly prefers goldie)

he/any

14 in splat3

found lil buddy a few years before splat3 and grew up with him, considers him to be a brother

has an underbite

wiper main

battered/fried its hair for kicks

seaweed fiend

hoarder

aro :^)

thinks jacinthe is alright

obsessed with ω-3 but does not engage in salmon run at all

on a very vicious losing streak in splatfest

has a labret piercing and cut an ear and eyebrow in a fall but is terrified of getting an ear piercing

has stolen splatfest decorations

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[novakiart]

spideypool but it's a comedy of errors

[coddda]

I wish we could have met in some other way.

Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates

If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3

Still frames/Individual gifs:

If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way

[venusmage]

twitter guys sure are something.

[krysmcscience]

Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)

I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c

Part Two:

Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D

Aaaand Part Three:

'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...

Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

[abstractfrog]

Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me

[radiosummons]

This is supposed to be the outfit that "protects" Link from acquiring frostbite pfffttt

Between this top and the mandatory acrylics that come with the new arm, gotta say I'm loving how much Nintendo keeps leaning into GNC Link XD

MINI UPDATE: (Guys, I've already updated this post with the correct info. The "protects" part was supposed to be a joke about how skimpy the outfit was. I didn't realize the outfit gave an attack bonus at first, either. That was it. That was the post. You don't need to keep sending me messages trying to inform me about the frost attack. I know, I promise).

Update I: Just realized they gave him a set of blue acrylics for his left hand

Link really do be out here serving cunt 💅💅✨✨

Update II: Many thanks to the people who pointed out that this outfit gives you a special frost attack when in cold temperature areas, it doesn't actually protect you from the elements. I'll be honest, I am purposely avoiding any guides or walkthroughs for my TotK playthrough (since I'm trying to replicate my BotW experience). When I found the Frostbite Shirt, I was just happy that I finally had a piece of clothing that I thought could protect me from dying of hypothermia (was chugging spicy elixirs like you wouldn't believe) so I didn't notice the attack bonus until a bunch of you pointed it out lol

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[grimfantas]

10 years in the future for Nanako-chan

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[zan0tix]

to be seen for your humanity

[fisherrprince]

I’ve been possessed. If anyone wants to know where Edgeworth is, he’s been watching kamen yaiba with the detective boys for 4 hours

[egophiliac]

Wait, did you put a photo of Vil and Neige as kids in Eric’s office??

oh good, I was afraid that wasn't going to read properly and people would just be like "what is this supposed to be". :') but yeah! I like to think Eric was pretty fond of Neige as a kid! single dad sees orphan child approximately the same age as his own son and goes "hmm. okay, you guys are going to be friends now." (this did not go as well as he'd hoped.)

(also I do love how it's kind of a running joke that everyone loves Neige except for Vil, who's standing over in the corner and just seething with furious irrational hatred. someday maybe he'll find someone who doesn't think Neige is the best thing since cinnamon rolls.)