#but yea!!! i love resident evil now :}

[tiptapricot]

[ID: a gif in the original post shows Neo from the Matrix quickly parrying attacks from multiple Agent Smiths. /end ID]

going through the tags of your favorite character while hating one of the most popular ships

[mikareo]

⌗ SNOWDROP ₊ ˖ ་. nagi seishiro x fem reader (5.4k)

⊹ ⠀⠀ it's the end of the world and he's possibly the most unprepared person alive…perhaps he can rely on the pretty girl with perfect aim who just so happened to save his life at the very last second. he’s never been in love but maybe this love could last…so long as the both of you stay alive.

contains; resident evil inspired, badass agent!reader, helpless civilian!nagi, zombie apocalypse, guns, knives, blood, gore, swearing, angst, fluffy flirting, love at first sight, major character death, reo cameo!!!!, cannibalism (zombies) author's note; this fic destroyed my sanity, but i hope u like it! there are parts that are so unserious asjkl just trust me that it's a good read and pt2 is gonna be fucking crazy

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ videogame au milestone collab masterlist !

This can’t be happening. There’s no way this is actually fucking happening right now. 

He’s sprinting at full speed, his laces are barely tied, and the smoke in the air is surely clogging his lungs into a blackened pulp of nothingness. To be quite frank, Nagi would rather have those poisoned lungs than discover whatever the hell happened to his neighbors down the hall…because damn they look like they’re in some rough shape. With their sunken eyes, flaking skin, and very obvious urge to suddenly turn to cannibalism, that’s not really his vibe…but that’s a falling telephone pole! Holy shit that’s a falling telephone pole coming straight his way in 3…2…1. JUMP!

Whew, that was a close one. Good thing he’s tall!

The shift in humanity didn’t exactly happen overnight. It was actually just twenty minutes ago when his peace was so rudely interrupted. There he was, snuggled up in his gaming chair with a fresh bag of Cool Ranch Doritos opened and ready to meet his belly, when he finally beat the last level of his new favorite game; only to discover that those screams of terror and fear…yea those weren’t coming from his PC and his living room window is now a pile of ash. Nagi doesn’t think he’s ever seen so much red and yellow in his life, all of it becoming one big blur of flames that he somehow jumped through and landed on the street below— thankfully he lives on the ground floor, otherwise his body would join his couch in a pile of broken limbs. Damn, this is all such a hassle.

No one would be able to guess what it was that caused this chaos…okay, actually it’s not too out of this world; just a commercial jet falling from the sky with a monstrous thing (??) crawling out of the window onto the streets of Tokyo, whilst an oddly green gas dilutes the air.

Yeah, not too crazy— but just crazy enough to make even Nagi Seishiro, laziest man on earth, leave the comfort of his homely apartment to find his neighborhood in complete and utter chaos. He even saw his delivery man devouring the convenience store owner that always gives him an extra bonus off his nightly midnight snack. Man, he loved that guy. That’s a sight that’ll make him shudder for years to come; assuming he can stay alive for the next however many hours and days this newfound apocalypse is going to take.

Nagi thinks it’s been nearly an hour since he started running and he didn’t even know he had this much stamina in him. Maybe he’s secretly a superhuman or another one of the monsters the city has been consumed by— or perhaps his adrenaline rush is nearly infinite since he’s never utilized it in his entire life. He’s not sure of the logistics. He failed high school biology…and chemistry…and physics. There’s a reason why he turned to gaming and shied away from college. This thrill and rush isn’t meant for him. He’s a couch potato that wants to do nothing but rot and enjoy the satisfying ding Twitch gives him whenever he receives a new sub. His generation needs instant gratification…and right now? Well, he’s in desperate need of some water. 

Hesitantly, Nagi rounds into the glass doors of the nearest and safest looking building he happens to see— which is luckily a convenience store similar to the one near his apartment. He’s more than surprised when the automatic doors open in a pinch and he’s able to enter with no difficulty. The store is somehow in little disarray, with its grocery items on the shelves in their rightful spots and few sparse bags of chips laying on the tile floor. However, what is in disarray is the pharmacy section. There are drugstore pills scattered everywhere. He can’t even tell what kind of medications were being scavenged in a clear panic for medical amenities, and highly doubts that whoever was searching for supplies was able to get any with the state the back of the store is in. The font on the labels is so small that Nagi, the man who stares at a screen all day, can’t decipher what they say; and he’s assuming that whoever was in here is long dead and gone. But then again…

…he’s never been the kind of guy who’s always right.

“I come in peace!” His voice is two octaves higher than it normally is. If this were a choir audition, he’d absolutely ace it. “I swear I just came for some water! Please don’t kill me, zombie, please!”

Both of his eyes are shut whilst he awaits his inevitable demise, assuming that the unknown presence in the room likely has an appetite for human organs. There were so many things he wanted to do with his life…like ride a hot air balloon? Actually, that would be really hot if he were that close to the sun. Surf in the Caribbean? Ew, he could get bit by a crab. Get a girlfriend? He can’t complain about that one, that would be very very nice. 

Oh no, he’s already getting eaten…he can practically hear her imaginary laughter already.

“Really? Those are your last words?”

Zombies can talk?

Nagi fearfully inches one eye open to see the most gorgeous person he thinks he’s seen in his entire life. Sure, you look a little disheveled— with your soaked hair and dirt-crusted skin— but to him, you look like something out of his imagination. The female protagonist that he could only dream about campaigning with in a first-person-shooter game, and would later search for a worthy poster to stick on his wall. If love at first sight is real, then this is definitely it. The only issue? Your barrel is pointing straight at his face.

“You’re going to shoot me?” He exclaims, scrambling to back up but ultimately tripping on his own laces and landing on his ass. “Ah shit, that hurts.”

Elegantly, you rush to his side. “You have injuries?” With eyes scanning over every inch of his body, there’s genuine concern dripping from your tongue like honey. Your voice is like a melody, oh man. Nagi thinks he’s a goner— not because he could be eaten by zombies, but because he feels like he’d jump in front of a moving bus to protect you. Pfft, and some protection he’s doing, embarrassing himself like this…

“Nope, nothing’s hurt…” he mumbles, sitting up with an attempted nonchalant look on his face. “...only my ego.”

A small smile reveals itself before him and your eyes crinkle as you let out a little laugh, and instantly he’s almost more obsessed with you. It’s as if you’re some higher being that he was blessed to see on his final day on earth, with golden rays radiating from your skin and big irises that he could drown in. Perhaps if it weren’t the end of the world, the two of you could’ve walked to this store together— holding hands and speaking softly about your shared interests and passions— and he could make you laugh a million times and more…now that he’s really thinking about it, you’re the first girl he’s made laugh probably ever and he really wishes there wasn’t a menacing zombie apocalypse getting in the way of his beautiful fantasy. 

“I’m assuming you’re alone?” You stand up, looking down at him. 

Alone as in single or…

“You don’t have any family that you escaped with?”

…okay not alone as in single. Got it.

“It’s just me,” Nagi stands to his feet and is loving your shocked reaction to his towering height. “My family’s overseas right now, so I think they’re alright. I mean, I hope they’re alright. I don’t have any service to reach them, right now. My phone is down.”

You nod, reaching in your bag for something he can’t quite see. What he can see, though, is the massive shotgun strapped to your back and three large cartridges hanging from your belt— somehow you’re able to carry all that and four grenades, two handguns, and six rolls of bandages in that pack of yours, which you lay out for him so lovingly on the floor. 

“Take what you need.” Oh hell, what has he gotten himself into?

As he backs up cautiously, realization dawns upon your face. “You’ve never done this before have you?” 

“Is living through a zombie apocalypse a common experience?” His mouth is agape. “Yeah, sorry…can’t say this isn’t the first time for me.”

A sigh slips from your lips and you gather your things, packing everything into your bag except for a standard handgun. Nagi can feel his heartbeat picking up as you take three steps closer to him. One. Two. Three. He wishes you’d chosen to take a fourth— that way you’d be nose to nose, he’d get to see your beauty up close, and then memorize the curves and features of your face— which he’d surely never forget as he’d think about them morning, night, and day. He’d love to fantasize about you for hours but you have other plans, dropping said standard handgun into his palms. 

“Just aim for the head, okay?” 

Um. No. Not okay. 

“I don’t really shoot real guns…” he rambles, attempting to get rid of the deadly weapon you’ve so casually given him. “I’m more of a lover, y’know? Talk things out instead of shooting things in between their eyes? I like digital zombies! Yeah, those guys are chill…love ‘em so much…please take this away from me.”

You shake your head, already on your way out of the door. “Nope, you’re coming with me.”

“Why?” If this were a video game, there’d be a massive exclamation point flashing above his head, along with a grave that he could crawl into instead of joining you on this suicide mission. Being six feet under sounds pretty nice right about now…but he’s sure that the look you’re giving him is more deadly than any threat outside. “I don’t think I’m going to be much help to you.”

“Nagi, is it?” You clarify, to which he nods. “There are only two choices right now, and I know we just met but I’d rather you live than die. You’re tall. Your height is going to give you a range advantage when we’re out there, and I can already tell that you have great spatial awareness…not many people would’ve noticed me in the shadows. You know this area far better than I do, and sure, you’ve never held a gun before, but you’ve got to fight to live.”

As your voice continues in a soft-spoken tone, he’s mesmerized. “I want you to live, and I’m going to make sure you do.”

He can feel himself nodding along to your words— his heart getting lighter by the second, perhaps out of adrenaline but he’s going to believe it’s love. He needs something to look forward to when this is all over, if this is ever over, and that something is the image of you and him on a date. With you looking stunning in your favorite outfit and him hopefully looking better than he does right now…clear skies with the cicadas shushing themselves so he doesn’t miss a single thing you say…enough money in his bank account to cover anything and everything you wish for…and the biggest bouquet of your favorite flowers that he can find. What are your favorite flowers?

“Can I ask you something before I say yes?” Nagi’s voice is sweet, seemingly comforting you as your shoulders drop from their automated offensive stance. You look a little curious, likely assuming that he’s going to ask you some tips on how to shoot a gun— which he probably should if he’s being honest with himself, but that’s an issue that isn’t as important as his current curiosity. “Do you have a favorite flower?” 

With teeth shining at him, he’s blinded by the overwhelming beauty you send his way and for the second time, he makes you laugh. 

“My favorite flower? You’re so strange.” Overcome with a fit of giggles, he thinks that this is your first time laughing at something a man said as well. “Why do you need to know that? Are you asking me out or something?”

“I am.” He states bluntly and your cheeks flush red. 

There’s a minute of silence between the two of you and each second is more excruciating than the last. With a heavy clock ticking in his ear, telling him that he’s made a fool of himself as the hand inches more and more to the left; he’s counting down his probable rejection as he’s just shot his shot in the middle of the end of the world. What a stupid decision. He knows his timing could be better— could be a lot better actually— and there’s a part of him that regrets even attempting…but none of that matters, because you’re smiling.

Maybe he makes you just as nervous as you make him…

“Okay Nagi,” you grin and adjust the shotgun strap across your chest. “If we both survive this, I promise I’ll go out with you…but I have some high expectations. I want the most expensive flower arrangement money can buy.” 

“And what kind of flowers are you wishing for, gorgeous?” His voice is a sexy whisper, and Nagi didn’t even know he could be so seductive.

You jokingly roll your eyes at the pet name and toss him one of your inactive grenades, which he catches with ease, urging him to follow you into the chaos— but not before you give him the answer he so desperately desires.

“Snowdrops.”

There are two things that Nagi has realized in the past thirty minutes. 

1.) He’s a lot more athletic than he thought he was. 

Running for a half an hour straight is something that he never imagined himself doing— especially considering that he’s never stepped one foot into a gym in his entire life. What he originally thought to be clumsiness, turns out to be raw strength untouched. You were right to assume that his lengthy limbs would do him some justice in the fight for his life, and he’s thankful for his towering height as he’s blocked falling debris from smacking you atop the head nearly five times now; though, he did miss a flying sneaker that happened to nail you straight in the nose. He’s trying his best, give him a break. 

2.) You might be a figment of his imagination. 

Sure, this idea is likely false as he definitely felt your weight when you were sent flying from a stray hand grenade and landed on top of him, but you just seem so perfect. Getting to know you has been a dream come to life— though making conversation while running for his life isn’t the easiest feat, he’s managing. Some of the things you’ve told him do seem to be made up, though. For instance, you were the culprit behind the plane crash and while he’d love to picture a sunsetting sky with the two of you floating in the breeze, you’re not going to be piloting that jet. However, he has to give you a break because he’s never flown anything other than pixelated aircrafts, especially aircrafts that contain a deadly monster oozing toxic gas that turns people into zombies. Yeah, he couldn’t quite believe that either.

“On your left!” The sound of your voice snaps him back into focus and he realizes there are four zombified citizens barreling your way. “I could use some help here!”

You definitely don’t need his help. For God’s sake you have a shotgun the size of your leg that’s already mowed down three of them and Nagi’s just barely getting used to the sound of the bang. So far he’s pretty much been useless if not for letting you know what’s coming up in the distance, and also being the absolute last resort solution— which is rare, but oh shit it’s happening right now! You’re out of shells! How exactly does he fire this thing again?

Shakily, he attempts to point his handgun in the direction of the lone zombie bounding towards you. “Deep breaths, Nagi! Focus and aim!” Your words of encouragement are appreciated, but ultimately useless as he desperately starts stray shooting. 

“Fucking aim!” You’re losing your patience for him so fast, to which he tries his best to calm down and breathe.

In and out.

His heart rate begins to slow.

Breathe and concentrate. 

His eyes become unclouded by his anxiety, and his vision clears. 

Lock on.

He has a mark on the target. 

With his pistol’s aim assist shining against the zombie’s forehead, he confidently fires a single bullet. It soars through the air, squealing in its flight, and he lets out a sigh of relief…a sigh that he exhaled far too early.

Aw shit, he missed. 

You grunt, bracing yourself against his bullet that ricochets off of the nearby telephone pole and grazes your right arm. He has a clear view of the scarlet blood dripping down your elbow and onto the pavement, and his heart feels heavy. He’s so fucking useless that he’s injuring you. Nagi doesn’t think it’s even possible to be worse at flirting than him; he can’t imagine that there are many guys who are accidentally shooting the girl they like, yet here he is. 

Thankfully, you being the badass agent you are, you’ve managed to reload your eleven shells of ammo in the time it took for him to fire one bullet— and you easily dissolve the zombie to bits and pieces. 

“Your aim can use a little work.” You snort, brushing your fingers against the small wound.

He rips the sleeve of his t-shirt off and attempts to wrap it around your arm. This is what you’re supposed to do, right? The only training he’s had in the medical field is from that one surgeon simulator game he played in middle school, and to be completely honest, it was a pretty good game! However, he’s definitely doing something wrong because you place your hand over his and show him how to properly treat an open wound. Normally, Nagi would be embarrassed that he’s failing so miserably right now— but honestly, the only thing on his mind is how this is the first time you’ve held his hand. He can’t tell if there are butterflies in his stomach or if the smell of blood is triggering vomit. Hopefully the former.

It’s no surprise that your perceptive self notices his focus on your intertwined hands, to which you take the lead and insist on pushing forward. “As romantic as this is, we should find some shelter before we get eaten in the midst of making out.” 

Oh?

“You want to make out with me?” 

Oof that slap hurt. His priorities clearly don’t align with yours.

“Okay, okay.” Nagi holds his hands up in surrender before you can smack his chest for a second time, and he’s finally able to notice your surroundings. Since when was the Mikage Buildingright behind you? Hm…the imminent fear of death must have distracted him. “My best friend’s family owns this tower here. I promise it’s safe.”

Your gaze narrows at the wall of glass windows that are seemingly spotless. There isn’t a single crack, faulty line, or zombie-sized hole that’s visible to the naked eye and he feels a little swell of pride for Reo’s family. Yeah, that’s right! My best friend’s parent’s architects are great at making buildings! It finally seems like he’s had his first good idea of the night, and Nagi couldn’t be more proud. Progress is progress (even if he shot you in the process)! 

“It looks good.” You nod in approval and begin cautiously making your way towards the doors.

While following closely behind, he watches your back and ensures that there’s no one on your trail; which isn’t difficult in the slightest. Most of the civilians have died by now and you’ve already cleared every undead in the area…without his help. He doesn’t know how he managed to be so lucky that he ended up with you, but he’s grateful for every second— and now that you’re finally in his familiar territory, he can finally show you what he’s worth. 

“There’s an elevator up these steps.” Nagi leads you up the grand staircase, remembering how he lazily trotted down it yesterday after Reo tried, once again, to convince him to join his football club. “I think it’ll work, I know they have emergency systems and everything.”

“I don’t know, Nagi…” your voice trails off, something amiss about it. “I just have a weird feeling about this place.”

“I promise Reo’s family’s going to take care of us, they’re the best.” He deflects your concerns, trusting that his friend will pull through and have some crazy solution to save the world. There’s never been a time where he couldn't count on Reo and as soon as you reach the top of these steps, you’ll agree. The text he sent out asking for help is almost delivered, just a few more seconds and that blue line will slide all the way to the right and Reo will be right down the elevator as soon as possible. 3…2…1…sent! There! You’ll both be saved!

But if Reo’s on the top floor in his room…why did his ringtone ding just meters away?

There’s a corpse laying in front of the elevator doors, mangled and bruised. How did Nagi not notice it before? Was he too distracted thinking of his closest and only friend he’s ever had? No way. The security team must have destroyed all of the zombies in the building already, he’s sure Reo and the others are fine— but why does that body look so familiar?

No.

It can’t be him. 

Three steps away. 

There’s got to be some kind of mistake here. A prank right?

Two steps away. 

He can’t be dead. His best friend can’t be dead!

One. 

“No…” With his voice trembling, he stands over his best friend’s body. Reo’s violet hair is drenched in blood, seemingly resembling the color of a plum rather than the typical lavender hue. If it were a normal day, Nagi would laugh at the awful color— telling his partner in crime that the shade didn’t suit him in the slightest and Reo would laugh in annoyance, aiming a ball straight for the taller boy’s head…but this isn’t a normal day. This is the end of the world; and that beautiful lavender flower that Nagi associated with his teammate is wilting. It’s dying. It’s dead along with the heartbeat within it. Reo is dead. 

“Nagi. I need you to step back slowly.” He spins to see you with your barrel aimed at Reo’s corpse, but he can’t seem to move. It’s almost as if he’s been stunned, frozen in place with frostbite cementing his legs to the granite floors, and mouth encased in ice. He’s so overwhelmed that he can’t even open his mouth to give you a warning that there’s something moving behind you. Why can’t he speak? He needs to tell you! However, right when his teeth quiet their jitter, you’re tackled to the ground with a loud pummel. 

Immediately, gunshots ring out in the grand hall. You’re firing in every direction in an attempt to blast off your opponent, but this zombie is particularly agile and you don’t have much room to move with your large shotgun…looking back in retrospect, giving Nagi your only handgun wasn’t the greatest idea.

“C’mon!” Repeatedly, you call out to him, but he remains paralyzed in fear. “Stop being useless!”

He watches as you struggle to wrestle off the infected woman, grunting and groaning with every punch you deal to its face. The skin on her cheeks is almost a greyish shade, discolored and decaying with a potent smell that burns his nostrils. It’s hard to tell who’s who under the blanket of shadows she’s trapped you under, but occasionally he catches a glimpse of golden eyes that tell him the zombie is still alive. 

Somehow, with your almost supernatural raw strength, you’re able to hook your thighs around the zombie’s neck— pinning it down to the pearly floors and trapping it beneath your weight. It claws and cries out, desperately trying to escape your grasp, and Nagi almost feels bad for it. Just a few hours ago, this woman had a life. A real life that she likely looked forward to living every day; and now she’s nothing but a brainless carnivore with cannibalistic intentions. She could’ve been a mother. There could be a little boy out there missing her and waiting for her to come home, tell him that he’s safe, and that everything is going to be alright. When was the last time Nagi talked to his own mother? Why does he deserve to live and this woman doesn’t? Why is he so special that he was saved, while the rest of Tokyo was left to rot? 

It isn’t fair. 

None of it is fair.

He doesn’t deserve to live. He doesn’t deserve to be here. 

He’s taken his life for granted from the moment he learned to walk. Why should you be wasting your time trying to get him to safety when he’s nothing more than absolutely useless? He needs to help.

He needs to be brave…

…but he misses his chance once more. 

Letting out a wailing scream, you muster up enough energy to crush the woman’s head between your thighs, and Nagi is splattered with blood and guts. He doesn’t know how you’re so strong— it’s almost eerie in a way— but he’s more concerned with the state of your well-being. The look of exhaustion in your eyes acts as a glaring sun against his icy posture, and his feet are thawed from the floor, rushing towards you in mere seconds. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he kneels on the ground before you and cups your face closely, “Hey— hey, don’t close your eyes. I’m right here. Please stay awake.” Nagi doesn’t think his voice has ever been so gentle nor has he ever felt this kind of worry for a girl before. Sure, he hasn’t known you for long, but he knows he can’t go on without you. You’re a team and a team sticks together. You can’t die right here! He’s not going to allow that!— but before he can lift you up like the knight in shining armour he wishes he could be, there’s a faint rustling behind him…a familiar rustling. Nagi knows that sound. He knows those movements. He’s heard them a million times and he’d be able to recognize them even in the midst of Shibuya Crossing in the busy hours. 

Where did Reo’s body go?

Perhaps it dissolved or maybe it was kicked aside in the midst of your fight. 

That has to be it, right? Where else could he be?

Nagi’s confusion is understandable. He’s thinking rationally given the circumstances and his heartbeat is somewhat steady. The mass of his body hovers over yours in a protective stance, like a dragon guarding a princess, and for once he appears to be confident. However, that confidence has been set aflame. He can feel his blood racing, burning through his veins in fear and distress, and he wishes he could simply rip his vitals from his skin to destroy the wretched emotions. The sight before him is something out of a horror movie…a horror movie where Nagi is the main character. 

“Oh fuck.” 

Reo leaps out of the shadows before Nagi can even react. 

There’s a blur of hands and feet, hitting and kicking at each other, and the snow haired boy never knew he was this agile. Reo is clearly doing his best to hit Nagi’s vital arteries; to which he’s blocking each attack with his forearms. This is chaos. He doesn't even have a second to think for himself and consider the possibility of blasting Reo’s head off with his handgun. He can’t do that…this is his best friend! 

As Nagi’s leg lines up to knock him off his feet, Reo lunges down and grabs a hold of it. In a panic, he attempts to shake his friend off— wiggling his leg up and down whilst reaching for his combat knife in his back pocket— and slices the skin in between Reo’s forearm and bicep…which is ultimately ineffective. Oh, shit he just got angrier! Growling, zombie-fied Reo clasps his hands around Nagi’s waist, lifting him off the ground with ease and throwing him into the elevator doors. The sound of his body slamming against the metal slab rings out, echoing in the grand foyer and deafening Nagi’s left ear. His breathing is heavy and he feels like he can’t get a single ounce of air in his lungs. Everything seems to be blurry, foggy with mist covering his irises as he attempts to see what’s right in front of him. 

A carnivorous Reo…

…and an unconscious you.

It’s clear to him what’s going on. There are two outcomes to this horrific situation and whatever decision Nagi makes is going to impact the rest of his life. 

1.) Let you go and join the afterlife with his best friend. 

2.) Save you and never see his best friend again. 

His heart is at war within himself. One side fighting for Reo, the boy he’s known for so long. The boy he’s laughed and cried with. The boy who knows everything about him. The boy who believed in him when no one else did…until you came along. 

Just the thought of seeing your lifeless eyes, bloodied body, and severed limbs flips a switch inside him— and Nagi finally comes to realize what’s happening. This isn’t Reo. This shell of a man with a monstrous hunger isn’t his best friend. Reo is a ghost now. He doesn’t exist anymore and now his body is being possessed by the undead, or whatever zombies are. He can miss his friend all he wants, but that doesn’t change the fact that the thing creeping towards you is nothing but a stranger who knows all of Nagi’s secrets. 

It’s time for him to fight to live. 

As he swiftly stands and tackles Reo to the floor, a wave of memories flash before Nagi’s eyes. 

The moment he first heard Reo’s voice. It was light and friendly. He had used a tone that Nagi hadn’t ever heard before, and although he had no interest in playing soccer, he still wanted to impress the popular boy— not because he wanted a higher status or a girlfriend, but because he knew this stranger needed a friend…and he really needed a friend, too. 

His palms grip Reo’s throat, ripping him off of your body.

The first time Reo laughed at something he said. It wasn’t intended to be funny, but the plum-haired boy couldn’t help but burst into a fit of giggles and Nagi found himself laughing as well. Sitting in the school courtyard, side-by-side with crumbling onigiri falling from their mouths, there’s no doubt that they looked like two elementary schoolers finding humor in something obscurely immature— but despite that, it’s one of his fondest memories. 

Reo struggles against Nagi’s weight, pinned to the floor with nowhere to run.

When he’d first shown him his concerningly large collection of video games, Reo hadn’t batted an eye. In fact, the very next day, Nagi received a friend request from him. Which seemed like a small act at the time, until he found out that Reo had gone to the tech store and purchased an entire PC set up just so he could be the Player 2 to Nagi’s Player 1. They were partners in both the real and virtual world— an unstoppable pair that won more tournaments as time went on— and Nagi will never clean out his xbox inventory filled with their trophies. 

His finger grazes the trigger.

This is it. 

No more memories.

It’s time to say goodbye.

In movies, when the protagonist has to kill their loved one, a single tear rolls down their cheek. 

For Nagi, his face drowns in his cries. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He’s gone.

“I love you.”

Reo’s body dissolves into ash…

…then dust…

…then nothing. 

“I’m so sorry.”

PART TWO COMING IN THE NEAR FUTURE (i’m a slow writer pls forgive me)

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

[awkward-tension-art]

OMG HI, it's my first time making a request ever. So I just finished watching the first episode of Fallout and couldn't stop imagining a one-shot of Leon x reader being the couple getting married (but in this case, no one gets murder). Basically, just fluff and smut inspired from the line where the girl goes "are you're sperm good?" or smth like that.

PLS I'LL DIE IF YOU MAKE IT

Dawg, I’m gonna be honest, I had to find a reaction video on youtube so if I’m missing details, I'm sorry! But you kinda inspired a whole idea of Resident Evil Fallout AU lmaooo. I pictured RE2 Leon for this

I didn’t go smut just because I wasn’t in the mood, but I hope this is OK!

Also, SPOILERS (i guess?) and MINORS GO AWAY

So, lets just say the raiders didn't invade the vault and an actual blight had taken out half of vault 32

So both you and Leon went through the process of the selection. He was…a little less willing. I see Leon as a rather…intimate guy, so getting poked and prodded for a wife he didn’t choose was…not his favorite.

You, on the other hand, were doing what you were taught. You handled the whole process easily enough. You got your wedding dress, got dolled up, and were escorted to vault 32.

The doors were open and the two of you were revealed to one another.

He was handsome, in a boyish sort of way. But he was shy. Very shy. Leon wasn’t even meeting your eye.

He, however, thought you were beautiful.

I personally headcanon Leon as not really seeing himself as a looker. I mean, he wouldn’t consider himself ugly, but he doesn’t really consider himself attractive either.

So…you can imagine when he saw you, his heart pretty much jumped out his throat.

“Hi.” you smiled at him so sweetly, introducing yourself, “Your name?”

“Leon.” he cleared his throat

You could hear someone behind you whisper, “lucky…”

The wedding proceeded that same night. To you, this was doing a duty. While you didn’t know Leon, you had hope that you both would find love in eachother. Meanwhile, your husband-to-be was still nervous. He even looked terrified to a degree. He kept his face down.

You were the one who initiated the kiss when the preacher said “you may now kiss the bride!”

Luckily during dinner you managed to chat a bit. You found out Leon was trying to become vault security. He didn’t have parents after losing them years ago during the chaos of the blight. And he likes dogs.

That was all well and good, but finally you asked the important question, “What's your sperm count?”

Leon choked on his drink. Immediately he was flustered, “I…um…”

“You know it's important we have kids. For the genetic stability of the vaults. Didn’t your vault doctor tell you this?” You pressed.

“I…yea..she did…” Leon was clearly knocked off his feet, “Just…wanted to get to know you a bit more…”

“Oh.” You had to remind yourself that he was leaving his vault. His friends and home were being taken from him to come to your vault. He was in over his head and the least you could do was be understanding.

Once the wedding was over, you took his hand and led him to your new living quarters. Leon was uncomfortable, anxious and very much not sure what to do. He listened and nodded along to what you were saying.

However, once everything was said and done, “Are…you ok?” You asked, seeing how closed off he was. 

“Yea…just…overwhelmed is all.” He responded, not meeting your eye, “can…we…take things slow?”

You couldn’t help but smile, “yea, i’d like that.”

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Israelis hate Palestinians, Poles, Roma, other Jews (For supporting Palestine), Holocaust survivors… They hate everyone, but of course we are the bad ones

Eden was persecuting Nemo (a non-binary person) and that dickhead was defending her anyway, so what if during Eurovision all the Israelis were persecuting everyone around them, no, they are victims…

Israelis are not victims, they are torturers who cry like victims when in practice they hurt others and they fucking laugh about it because people believe them

Yes, I admire Israelis who oppose Zionist propaganda, it's just a pity that they are closer to zero and it fucking sucks

Even the Germans opposed the Third Reich, even the Russians opposed Putin (People love to forget about strikes when they can see everything as divided into good and evil)

When I see Israelis striking for Palestine, it is extraordinary, but as I mentioned, the number of unbrainwashed people who are pro-genocide garbage is very low and it will depress me, even there were many Poles (Despite the rotten apples) who risked their lives, and people still they believe that Poles cooperated with the Nazis (When Poland was a victim of colonization), how do you imagine the future of Jews? Will they wear all the shit the Zionists gave them? I don't want them to deal with this shit, I don't want the Jews fighting for Palestine to be erased, Zionists will try but they won't succeed

I hate how Zionists (Mainly Israelis…) call everyone Nazis when Israel is the real Nazi, doing the same as the Third Reich, FUCKING GENOCIDE AND RACIAL SEGREGATION IS NAZISM

Being against Israel for its crimes IS NOT NAZISM OR ANTI-SEMITISM, ISRAEL IS THE TORTURER, IT COMMITS GENOCIDE, IT'S LIKE SCREAMING THAT THE PERSECUTION OF THE THIRD REICH WAS XENOPHOBIC

Besides, the explanation "That Palestine is just as guilty" is sick, because that's what the fucking Nazis explained, according to them, Jews were also fucking evil, so they deserved to die, because they steal and are to blame for the fact that life in Germany is shitty (Because was not good at that time, but instead of caring what the reason was, it's always best to blame the whore on the group that can't defend itself…), because Jews are to blame for the existence of gays… Now the same is being done towards the Palestinians, to vigorously spread the narrative that either Palestine itself is to blame, or there's fault on both sides and it's fucking sick

I just hate that victim blaming still fucking works

Now that I have your attention:

-----------------------------------------------------

I know I've gone on and on, but it pisses me off, Roma and Poles were also victims of the holocaust, gays and homosexuals too, people with disabilities too, the fact that Israelis can hate other holocaust victims and think that they are "appropriating a Jewish thing" is fucked up

Just because the number wasn't big enough for you doesn't fucking mean that the other victims were less important, each of the victims is fucking important, so did the German ones (Because the Third Reich put them in concentration camps too), there were more Nazi victims, and we probably don't know about many of them yet, because society has decided that that they're not that fucking important and it sucks

Don't forget about the collections at the top

[worstvideogamesong-poll]

Worst Video Game Song Tournament - Round 3 Match 3

The Yoshi Clan - Yoshi's New Island

VERSUS

Mansion Basement - Resident Evil Director's Cut

FIGHT!

I would recommend listening to as much as you can of each song before voting, but how you choose is up to you! Remember to be civil in the tags and replies!

Propaganda under cut:

The Yoshi Clan:

"the ass band will play a song of farts to celebrate your failure"

"#FUCK YOU YOSHI"

"#yoshi sounds like suck"

"#YOOOOOOOOSHI CLAAAAN!!!!!!!! #ok im gonna complete my santa review before getting to my ten page essay on why i love yoshi clan. yea that shit bad #i accidentally started it playing in two tabs at different points of the video which was honestly really fun. i recommend tryin that esp wi #bad songs really adds smthn to the exprience. it was awesoeme #it also just sounds the exact type of awful that that video image implies which is cool. its so perfect. it sounds ass #but. what it can not beat. is my favorite of all time. my darling love. it is time to begin my sermon #ok so yoshi clan is just so beautifully terrible. and truly the whole soundtrack is an orchestra of bad design. and its so fun to look at #that really nice professional looking art for the game and get BLASTED with kazoo #and like. i understand the thought process. kazoo does seem silly goofy yoshi. and it also sounds like a chorus of pain #now this song specifically has some really great awkward pauses. at 0:16 theres like a full 3 seconds of silence. which is SO cool #then the hot cross bun bit that ends at 0:27 gets so sad and deflated at the end of it. like it starts off in time but then clearly the #soloist got kinda embarrassed alone and so rushed and got really quiet. and its just so sad and lonely. its so cool #also some of these pauses have a couple lone far away kazoo squeaks for no reason before the 'melody' comes back in? awesome #but what i really really love about this. what really draws my eye. is the ending. because we go through this entire rigamarole with the #worst secondhand embarrassment of my life. then. 0:43. the kazoos move out. and in. the most genuinely awesome groovy drum beat in the worl #like its SO good. and those last few seconds are like you're in a different world. like you just survived horrors and you are brought to an #angelic chorus. and it lasts what 5 seconds? 5 seconds of beauty after a full 40 seconds of purgatory. in what world do horrors live foreve #while an angel can last for only a flash #its cruelty. its injustice. its completely ingenious. incredible music making. i am in such awe. #anyways thats my manifesto. please feel free to put any of this in the propaganda section op. im passioante"

Mansion Basement:

"this song fucking sucks. i love it."

"[Mansion Basement] is literally what letting my cat walk over my keyboard set on some particularly bad trumpet sample feels like. Spectacular"

"#This is so funny #Who made mansion basement?? #It's so sad!! #And pathetic!!"

"#whaat the fuuuck is up with [Mansion Basement]"

"#like NOTHING can compare to mansion basement #what the FUCK"

"#the mansion basement made me cry #ithink i know who the winner here is #🎺🔥🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥"

"#[Mansion Basement] THO HEEEELP.??? BABY ON FL STUDIO TRYING TO PLAY MARIO UNDERGROUND THEME...."

"#resident evil is a joke song for clowns"

"#I'M NOT LISTENING TO THE OTHER ONE I KNOW FOR A FACT IT'S MANSION BASEMENT #THE STORY BEHIND IT IS WILD TOO SO THAT'S AN AUTOMATIC WIN BABBBEEEYYY" (pollrunner's note if anyone knows what the story is please tell me i am dying to hear about it)

"#i saw the title of this post and literally IMMEDIATELY thought of mansion basement #felt emotionally validated when i saw it was an option #i love that song #in the worst way #like a drunk zombie looking for its keys in an orchestra"

"#im fucking obsessed with mansion basement. sweep"

"#what the hell that is not a real resident evil song #did they really just make that and put it in the game #what"

"#I ACTUALLY LIKE THE BASEMENT SONG because it perfectly captions how like- #the sneaky suspicion of getting diharrea feels"

"#fart basement ofc"

"#Mansion basement is objectively the funniest song ever"

Feel free to add more propaganda in the tags and replies, or send it to me in the ask box and I'll try to share it as soon as I can!

[randompenname]

What if, they are the real threat?

Ok, I am an exhausted lady deep in the throws of a hyperfixation and by extension, possibly entirely bonkers. On the chance that I am not, hear me out.

Okay, first off - fuck Metatron. I Don't trust him at all. From the costume foils to his shifty little sneer to where Crowley had been sitting. He is evil, manipulative, possibly god and entirely to keen to be a angel on the side of the angels.

Angels and demons have known offically and unoffically about our favorite ineffable huabands for a while. While yes there is the occasional looming threat of their friendship being outed, no real orders from on high came down to do much about it. Hell, even Strax mentions she thought they were together at one point.

Yea, I know we see the demons go poking around but 3 zombies and a polaroid do not the bells and whistles make.

So what changed?

What brought the great and powerful Oz, I mean Metatron (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain?) to the door of our favorite book store?

It was not the love affair of our resident Archangel and Lord of Hell.

Heck, aside from the kinda sort of job opening, it wasn't even the forepoint of his mind.

So what did bring him here, with this shockingly awesome (in the truest use of the word) offer for an angel who until now was overlooked at best?

What changed from shut your stupid mouth and die, to lead us?

THE MIRACLE.

They both worked together to create the teeniest,tiniest,half miracle and they set off every alarm in heaven.

Can you imagine what kind of power they could create if they managed a truly focused one?

Even Crowley mentions "apparently when we do a miracle it works a bit too well"

So what if going to heaven, the job promotion etc has nothing to do with any great plan...what if its about taking the bullets out of the gun.

What if they know neither will be a threat while seperated and this has all been one sweeping move of manipulation because the powers that be know just how truly ineffable and unstoppable they would be if they ever truly decided to stand their ground against Heaven and hell and simply be "US"

Just a thought.🤷‍♀️

[thetentaclecommander]

20 questions for fic writers

Sures, I'll bite @the-bar-sinister!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 49 on my TheTentacleCommander main 2 on SerpentineAndWet 1 on SoftTentacledJazz (which I will get back to!) and 1 on Waymaiden Jelecia (shelved for now) so in total: 53

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?  471,114 in total spanning all accounts the huge bulk being under TTC.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Resident Evil. I'm very much a ride or die writer when it comes to fandom longevity lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Electronic Brawling (the Nem/Reader fic I wrote over a weekend, 322) Tentacles Are -Not- Toys (Until They Are) (the Nem/Jill I wrote over a weekend, 288) To Teach a (b)oy (the femdom Jill/Nem fic I wrote cause I wanted to just be as kinky as possible about it, 138) Need. Excite. Take. (a morning warm up I did for a Tyrantfucker chat, 130) Teaching the Devil (my 'serious' drabble that turned into a longfic/1st part of a myth arc around Nem/Jill and all the whatifs that could happen, 105) *yes, I'm aware the smut is what sells lol*

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! I love receiving them and answer, especially in depth ones.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ah, ha haha this one's tough. My main ship (Nemesis/Jill) is in my hands intentionally angsty so many do end on that note. If I had to chose it'd be a tie between After The Fall - Where Nemesis *really* struggles between caring for her and wanting to hurt the absolute fuck out of her. Necromancy - It's hard surreal/dreamy on purpose (also a fic staple of mine) that ends with Nemesis having done all he has to make Jill 'happy' is so deeply unhappy with himself in the end - but still continues to perpetuate the lotus eater world he's crafted for them.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?  Where the wild things... - a really hard surreal dream fic of where Nemmy's head was at halfway through the 3rd arc. He has such an idealized, near childlike hope which is big for a generally angry and resentful creature. He clearly wants the world with Jill, where the chase benefits them both but a lot of the edges - like her own traumas - are shaved off. It's telling his dream was inspired by a children's book about dealing with anger, fear and finding/seeking comfort. But it's happy in the sense he gets that comfort he wanted so badly throughout his creation, and that when he awakens, it's with him now determined to reunite with her and their offspring. (con't after the cut)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really? When I was on ff.net I got snippy comments (I was a young babby then) but looking back it was just what we'd call today fanpol wanking to wank. These days I assume ppl are aware what I'm about so if I were to garner hate, I'd just laugh and write Nemmy fucking Jill even harder in unfortunate places. I can always go darker, kids.

9. Do you write smut? *stares at the camera deeply* Yesss? All the smut? They tend to range from soft heartwarming lovemaking, to conflicted should we be doing this, to rapey horrors, just weird monstery shit and then the kink. Just kinky shit all over the place. Very character study leaning.

10. Do you write crossovers?  Nah. I already have a lot in my head just handling one franchise!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?  Not to my knowledge but with the way I write it's gunna be a pretty fun time in pulling off imitating my voice as I sound high on my own fumes about a decidedly rare pair no one seems to wanna admit liking rofl That and all the formatting hell

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  Yea! In Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?  Nah, I'm too much of a prima donna to share billing /jk I just don't like collabing unless it's for an rp but I'm also never say never about such things!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? *stares even harder at the camera* I...I'm the longest running one trick pony about having a parasitized Tyrant try to not murder with prejudice the most well trained person on the RE cast I make no secret about this :3 Also let me note my other most liked ships I have written on: Weskertine, Creva, and the Ada and Carlos tour. Valenfield ig (I do truly like em but they aren't as exciting to write for in comparison but I indeed do write them sometimes). Note these are for canons, I have loads more favs but they are ocs.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have like 15+ wips in my drafts. I don't wanna pick one cause it's just painful to look at them begging to be finished. The ones on my account I have every intent to finish. Mostly because they are related to the AU and it wouldn't make sense if I didn't finish them.

16. What are your writing strengths? The sex lol (and being weird with it). I've been told my imagery and word play in general is stellar.  

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I feel my dialogue could be better and it's where I struggle (unless it's my muses Nem, Jill, Trent and Zeus as they are the ones I've written for the most in fic/rps) so I always try to improve on that always.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Don't wanna. I tried, hated not knowing if the language was correct (looking at you, Carlos) so just did ye old << >> to imply he's not speaking English.

19. First fandom you wrote for?  Resident Evil. I am nothing if not persistent. (like my first fic was like in 2005-6? I think?)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?  Again another tie but it's a 3 way *eyebrow wiggle*! A Slumber Recalled, A Devil Held - this was my 'can I do something soft but pained at the same time' fic. It's a revisit of the time they finally after 20+ chapters did the do, and it's from her pov instead. A lot of re contextualizing and 'wow both of these people have baggage and are doing this not out of love but to feel heard and it *hurts*'. Proved to myself that I can write something hard hitting without a single cry of physical pain. St. Valentine - where what was to be a simple Valentine's Day fic became a fun sacrilegious love poem from a very not at all obsessive Tyrant and then had an added chapter of the reverse side of Jill sounding mentally not all there almost fragmented in her feelings towards what this was between them. So much enjoyable word play was had. Necromancy - discussed above but has my brand of word play, leaning on the fourth wall/formatting/surreal and increasing uncomfortable.

------- All my writer mutes, have at! @damadisangue @naerwenia @coiled-dragon @s-dei @lmshady @azulas-daddy-kink @depraveddove @unchartedperils @sweet7simple @goth-automaton @dekujin @katophoenix (If I missed one of ya or you do write also join in :D)

[cee-grice]

Hi Cee! 👀

What’s the most unhinged AU you’ve imagined your characters in, and what’s the fluffiest? 🌷

⁉️⁉️⁉️ you really just want me to put my freakiness on public display huh

ok the most unhinged AU that I'm WILLING to share would be. evil wizard!Quil and stalker!Endra. hear me out. this is not even that unrealistic, it COULD have happened if I decided to go a different route (maybe one day...). basically the idea is. Quil's the Resident Wizard™ of this small town (as he is in canon as well) but...he's the sort of folklore witch type which parents tell their children scary stories about. never wander into That part of the woods alone...or after dark...because u will not leave them...and it's not just fairytales or smth, it's very much true lmfao. once in a blue moon, however, he visits the town... for very mundane stuff, nothing out of the ordinary, but everyone knows that on those days you DO NOT go outside lest you catch his attention. and you do not want that!

well, 'you' as in the general term. cue Endra, who one day DOES go out and sees him. and oh man. oh boy. everything about him just draws Endra in, both his appearance, his voice, his mannerisms, and this sense of danger that does something to his brain's chemistry. that one time is enough for him to get stuck in Endra's head. sooo, he Does start wandering into That part of the woods, and Does try to catch his attention. at first, Quil finds this fucking annoying. like, you'd think someone coming to HIM on their own accord would be great, less work for him, but no, it kinda ruins the whole vibe. people are meant to be scared of him, not?? enamored??? wtf???

so, he tries his darn best to get this dude to stop fucking. following him around and intruding on his business. like 'leave me the fuck alone or I'll skin you alive???' but all he gets in response is 'u can do whatever u want bby<33'. it's both baffling and exhausting. and now he DOESN'T want to skin him alive because what's the point if the guy's not scared of it?? it seems he has met his match in unhinged and highly questionable behavior and now he doesn't know what to do with himself. anyways then even more toxic and highly problematic shit ensues but I've already gone on for far too long<33

okay and the fluffiest - I honestly very rarely do fluffy AUs cause. yk. BUT I do have one where it's a modern setting at a uni and they're both teachers, Quil's a biochemistry and Endra's music :)) then you know how you can just.. enter any lecture hall during a lecture in a uni.. yea well one day Endra accidentally stumbles upon Quil's, and he doesn't understand SHIT but wow does this guy have a pretty voice. and a pretty face. and wow he's so smart. wow have I just sat through this entire lecture uhm what

anyways so he starts to just kinda. sit in on Quil's lectures whenever he can...still understands jack shit but goddd his voice is MESMERIZING. until one day Quil's like 'so um. what are you doing here lol?'. Endra kinda doesn't know what to say because he's not about to tell his co-worker he may be in love with him so he just bullshits and says 'oh yea bio? super cool and interesting and you're a good lecturer sooo....', which, obviously, Quil takes that rlly well because he LOVES bio and now uh oh Endra has to actually learn bio to keep up the ruse but he's tragically unequipped for it??? yea and then more cute stuff happens, you get the vibe <33

i'm This close to actually writing these fucking AUs.....i'm obsessed with AUs y'all don't even know

[nikkiartchives]

I FINISHED RESIDENT EVIL 2 REMAKE !!!!!

Its SO FUN!!!!! I got a C… but thats ok its my 1st RE game! I thought I would be terrible at this game because the only shooting games I’ve played is call of duty and that was a looooong time ago😭 Also the monsters in the game are so cool!!! I saw the model of G (stage 5) I think thats the game idk but yea he looks so cool !!!!

FOUND FAMILY TROPES MAKE ME SICK (in a good way🫶I love them 😭I like Leon and Ada together but omg. Him and claire in RE2 r so cute😭) PLS TELL ME THEY ADOPTED SHERRY OR SOMETHING🥲AT LEAST ONE OF THEM 🥲🥲🥲sherry is ur daughter now 🫵🫵🥲 I saw Sherry when I was playing RE6 with my cousin (Haven’t finished RE6 yet) and she’s an agent now! Good for her ? I don’t think they ever show Leon, Sherry, and Claire together again after RE2 but its ok we have headcanons

[creamteamdreams]

has TikTok shaped all our personalities and could we survive completely alone ?

ive always felt very pretentious with my music taste. that I need to be listening to underground artists to be cool. I feel like that evil nagging spirit was placed in me by 2020 TikTok. it pisses me off that that resides within me.f

off topic, but its interesting how context changes content. normally I write this shit privately, but now that this will be public (even though no one will read this) I feel like my writing has to lead to some point, some conclusion, some neat resolution. or even a bigger purpose. like that this shit needs to be all philosophical and deep. I hate deep. I hate it. I hate punkin. but an iced caramel latte ? anyway. deep isn't a real fucking thing. and why does every thought of mine have to be labeled !!!!???? and what are words ? who made them ? why does everything need to be described ? labels dissolve in water. like how can one word encapsulate an entire feeling? how can multiple words accurately capture an idea? you know what I mean ? can we ever really translate ourselves to others? eh I don't know. maybe if we learn enough words :p

ANYWAY. I feel like my personality is shaped by TikTok. and it's fucking embarrassing. but it feels like something I cant escape lol. like 2020, I was young and impressionable and all I did during quarantine was scroll on TikTok and I feel like that has had lasting effects. like I hate to say it but sometimes I feel reliant on TikTok or other social media to craft my personality. its all a performance! who am I really? but again do I need to label myself ????? can I just exist. like a tree? just be ? I LOVE TREES. I love trees in the winter when their branches are bare. just a skeleton. I think about how each branch and twig grew. Why'd it grow in that direction ? is the life path of a tree just determined by its environment ? just like us ? YES. trees are such a perfect metaphor for humans. also ! we are genetically very similar to trees somehow.

ive been thinking about my mistakes lately because its winter break and I have nothing else to do. mistakes make me who I am and its a beautiful thing. but when my thoughts spiral, and I let them, I end up at the conclusion that everyone hates me and how will I exist if I have no one... a lot to dissect. I know no one hates me, at least my friends :). but theoretically if they did, would I survive ? is connection a necessity to a good, happy, livable life? ummmm yea. if I was genuinely alone I would probably say fuck it and pull a Chris mccandless. side note but men looooooove to name drop that fucker. rip tho. but back to the point, is that a weakness ????? that I need people to support me. eh writing that, no its not a weakness, but do you get what I mean ? whatever. the balance is being comfortable with yourself while having awesome lit friends to support that structure you have made for yourself. boom. so could we survive completely alone ? barely. but people do.

[nathank77]

9/5/24

12:15 p.m

I got my xanax. Thank sweet baby Jesus. I almost cried. It's gross how addicted I am to it but I'm addicted to sleeping. Everyone is addicted to sleeping and when you can't sleep without a sedative you're fucked if you can't get it.

All I could think about was having to end my life before I was ready to die. I'm not ready to die. I do want to live. I'm so thankful. I was so worried. I abstained from writing bc all I wanted to write about and think about was xanax and microsleep. All I wanted was to know I won't ever microsleep again.

I'm relieved. A 90000000 ton weight got removed from my chest. I feel stupid for ever thinking any of it was fake.... the addiction i have to it is not fake. That's for sure.

I wish I could go back in time and have met a competent therapist who brought up that I was hallucinating before I got psychosis.... I wish I never had to use xanax for sleep but my brain was chemically dependant on weed my whole life for sleep... and then when it couldn't sleep it became chemically dependent on Xanax.

I feel gross. But I keep reminding myself you don't know what insomnia is until you've experienced severe sleep deprivation.... severe sleep deprivation is over 48 hours and I had made it to 120 hours without sleep.... or more. And I'm not gross I'm not an addict. I'm an insomniac.

Even if I had been using sedative hypnotics instead- they are a controlled substance and tolerance actually builds to them and they are actually addictive. You can't sleep without them once you start them for a couple weeks...... they are worse than benzodiazepines bc they can make you sleep walk and sleep drive and sleep eat. You could crash your car accidently on them. That would never happen on Xanax unless you abused it.... obv it can affect motor movement and whatever.... but you won't sleep walk. I looked at all of the side effects every single one of them....and it is not a side effect I mean there are some scary ones don't get me wrong but you'll never be sleeping and driving your car and crash with it.

So as disgusted as I am with my addiction to sleep. Anyone would be.

Now I can think about other things again. I had a rough ride trying to distract myself. Wondering why it wasn't getting pushed through and restraining myself from making phone calls bc I don't want to get dismissed from the practice. I have a good thing going there bc of my biweekly testosterone shots. I'm so dependent on them.

Mike abandoned me or he is in critical condition I say that bc I'm still on his schedule, but he hasn't responded to me.

I think the bactrim is working and I played all of resident evil 7. It was a blast. I have the DLCs. Katie bought it for me and I still have to do those.

I loved the game but the story was stupid. I loved the puzzle/survival horror/ crafting in it.

Imma be achievement hunting for a while in that game.

I think Bactrim is working for my uti. The burning sensation is ceasing.

Idk what to do about Mike or a new therapist.

I did tell my pcp I'm still hallucinating bc I wanted her to know for various reasons. I was worried that that was the reason why xanax was taking forever- but when I looked at my information from the last appt.

She DIDNT label me as psychotic.

I'm not psychotic. I just hallucinate. I got all my marbles. I'm just a traumatized insomniac. And my hallucination is relelatively under control thanks to white mulberries although it seems to worsen when I'm stressed. But yea it was nice seeing that she didn't label me as psychotic despite me telling her I still hallucinate.

[maximuswolf]

Rewards/Unlockables in games given at or near endgame don't care for

Rewards/Unlockables in games given at or near endgame, don't care for I enjoy challenging games, I love overcoming the challenges they present, gaining higher stats, better gear etc. farming/finding rare loot. Secret bonus unlocks at the end of game to ruin a new playthrough may appeal to some but I feel it antithetical to the enjoyment of the games base philosophy. You won your football game using skill and experience, here's a handgun for the next game have fun, bleh.An example of what I'm on about would be say you dunk on a Resident Evil game, they give you infinite rocket launchers, machine guns for a new run, but I just beat the game thoroughly, I'd rather something like an optional super boss halfway through for say a tier 3 shotgun instead, kinda like the assault shotgun in RE1 Jill.2 similar examples would also be Kingdom Hearts 2, and Palworld, KH2 max out all your forms at the 99% mark of the game and you get to glide around much faster and have fun yea don't give the player the movement ability they had last game early when it could be enjoyed for longer, or Palworld when you're lv 40-50 50 being the cap, you get the Jetdragon the fastest flying mount by 300% and there's nothing left to explore or capture basically. Kneecapping movement speed for players only to boost it at the end of the game isn't very enjoyable that should be say 30-50% of the way into a game to enjoy more.Elden Ring getting the sacred relic sword for beating the game that just sends out a kill wave of everything in front of you for like 200 feet, making grinding much faster..... after you've beaten the last boss of the game fun, bleh.I guess I enjoyed the final fantasy games where you could snag ultima, final limit breaks, ultimate weapons near 60% of the way through the game if you went out of your way to grind.You beat Hades 2, now you can do some slightly harder challenges to get stronger gear previously unavailable so you can beat....... Submitted May 20, 2024 at 08:43PM by PTSDDeadInside https://ift.tt/mxiIZsl via /r/gaming

[cyraisteration]

HELLLLLOOOOOI!!!!!

This is gonna be an intro so READ THROUGH IT !!!

To start it off simple:

Heyo, I'm Cyra!! I'm an Aroace bi enby!! I'm a minor euueeyueu... anyway, I love music, Detroit Become Human, Resident Evil, That's Not My Neighbour, crocheting, Genshin Impact, anime, VN's, Analog horror, sea animals RAHHH (and more but I forgot)

Btw this is my SFW account so if you want my main account, you're not getting it ^_^

(my main account is not nsfw whatsoever ok I'm a MINOR 💔)

Now with DNIs:

- Anything weird with minors

- L0lic0ns

- Anything with scat, piss, etc..

- basic DNIs! (Ableists, Homophobes, racist people, gr00mers, that's sort of stuff.)

and now INTERACTS!!

- DBH and RE enjoyers HELLOOO INTERACT... /nf

- LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE PLEASE

- Genshin fans + anime fans

- That's not my neighbour enjoyers

- mouthwashing

- (I'll add more if I remember)

Anyways I think that's it for now and HELLO FRIENDS AGAIN

(I have horrible English so PLEASE EXCUSE THAT and I use tone tags a lot soo yea)

[solazu1]

Hello! My name is Sol.

I am an artist!!! Obviously.. yea. I am currently hyperfixated on Resident Evil now! but I also like Sweet Tooth, Pacific Rim, Dragons, Wings of Fire, The Oh Hellos, TOH, CCCC, Marble Hornets, Dungeon Meshi, and the Metal Gear solid franchise!!!

I’m going to be real my hyperfixations are switching here, there, and everywhere as of rn. Current fixation is Resident Evil and my Oc’s

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY ART WITHOUT CREDIT. ALWAYS CREDIT MY ART IF YOU’RE GOING TO REPOST IT OR USE AS A PFP. ASK TO USE IN OTHER THINGS.

some stuff about me! -

I love food. Nobody loves food more than I

Number one toxic yuri fan. I love women……

I am a proud lesbian

I have ADHD !!

I'm super super into learning about avians!! I love birds!! I am a big enjoyer of those guys!!

That’s sorta it! Don’t expect a regular posting schedule, I’m erratic with this stuff. I’m more active on Discord lol

DNI

-Proshippers

-Homophobic & transphobic cunts

-Ableist motherfuckers

-People who are into irl murderers like they’re characters, fuck offfffff I forgot the term but ykwim

[mackjlee9]

Yea she is i just like to call her an idiot (affectionate)

Im pretty sure if anyone else would try to ride her they would eat dirt after 5 mins lul

Did my genshin stuff for the day now and prob gonna watch random movies with my dad later hehe

Oh, I love that! Calling someone an idiot because you love them is so cute idk why lol

Speaking if genshin! I got alhaitham!! First time winning the 50/50 :'))

I was kind of panicking when I pulled for him because I had told myself I was gonna stop playing genshin if I got keqing again but hyv must've heard me lmao

Ooh~! Movies! It's been so long since I've watched a movie other than resident evil ones 😅 I'll prob be writing some more because... I have a nasty prompt I have to write or i'll go crazy

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Stuff I noticed genshin impact has in common with (mostly) breath of the wild, unsorted and in varying degrees of /srs and /j

Cell-shaded open world with burnable grass (mind you dendro only came out like 2 days ago while this was a thing since the very beginning)

Starting with a shot from a cliff overlooking the world and focusing on the big building in the distance (though that might be a general open world trope? I‘m not sure)

The hilichurl huts originally looked like the stone skulls bokoblins reside in

Hilichurls in general pretty much just being bokoblins minus the oni-based color coding (but + screwed up lore, wth hoyo)

Random instances of coming across NPC’s who have to be saved from monsters (something that, like most similarities, primarily applies to Mondstadt)

You can’t pet the dogs aside from feeding them but they still adorably look at you with their hopeful gaze, showering you with love you know you can never give back ;-;

Why fishing rod when jump in good for catch too

Ancient but advanced civilization that became ruined and forgotten prior to the events of the game due to a calamity, but you still find remnants of, also the mc is somehow connected to it but barely remembers anything aside from a few flashbacks

Protag and the other short blonde with super special powers get separated by the catastrophic event that made the world the way it currently is, protag‘s goal is to find them again and travels though the whole world to do so

Protag and the other short blonde with super special powers get completely screwed over by a deity (you choose if it’s Demise or Hylia seriously I know Zelda not awakening her powers early enough had nothing to do with Hylia but she could at least talk to the girl smh)

Giant ancient robot with a single glowing eye from said ruined civilization roaming the lands and exclusively targeting people to kill (also, ruin guards originally aimed at you with a beam before shooting lasers)

The ancient lost civilization has its own even more ancient lost civilization

Floating elemental wizard monster with a wand that can teleport around and has way too much fun messing with you (and Abyss mages sound similar to wizzrobes too)

The world may or may not be stuck in some sort of time loop

Balloon-like enemy that hides in the ground and pretends to be a plant only to jump out and attack you

Round elemental enemy slime that uses its own element as a semi-shield and basically just attacks by jumping at you (fire/water/ice/electro slimes = red/blue/light blue/green chu) yea I got nothing for anemo slimes

Blue dragon that used to be chill but got corrupted by weird poison goo blood from the monsters, said poison goo leaving the dragon discolored, your goal being to cleanse it from them

Snowy mountain area near start point where everything is super cold and you can practically only survive by lighting fires, drinkeating spicy soup, or eating all your dishes to keep the hp up

Look at Noelle‘s shield, now at Daruk‘s protection, now back to Noelle‘s shield. Her design themes are maid- knight - roses, why does it look like that

Cooking makes you indestructible and is (hilariously) usable mid-fight. Also mc is a cooking god for no reason

They tweaked the cooking animation by the time it launched but the beta one gave off major 2D botw cooking vibes

Monsters wanna kill you but so does the evil organisation from another country with pretty extreme weather, except half of them are kinda dorky when they’re not trying to murder you

The battle music is fire

Mineral that glows turquoise (granted it’s different shades but still-), is considered pretty rare, and is said to have obtained their glow though influences from the world (elements/souls)

Ghosts are real and sometimes they glow blue. The same shade of blue as the spooky glow mineral, no less

The ancient glowy eye robots drop their core as loot (they look a bit similar too)

Praying to statues of deities = upgrading your stamina by giving them enough of a certain collectible

Tiny cute magical wood forest creatures that can‘t be seen by most people who can be randomly found across the land and you get stuff for doing their mini quests

Said forest creatures living in a village in their magical forest that usually can’t be accessed to begin with because magic prevents that (granted the village gives off more Kokiri vibes than Korok but they’re just evolved kokiri anyways so-)

The original animation for climbing was pretty much just Link‘s

Land southwest of the starting area has a (seemingly) bottomless hole that leads into the abyss, literally, in both cases

Lamp grass = Blue nightshade, they look the same and even glow blue at night

Glaze lily = silent princess, white-blue lilies from ancient times that became incredibly rare over time and are now considered practically extinct in canon (but are pretty easy to find in-game)

Ancient structures that have been inaccessible and glowing in warm colors for centuries only turn blue though activation by the protag; they also function as teleport points

ancient structures incorporating star constellations

Ancient instrument used throughout the world to play Magic Songs learned across the land that each interact with designated objects/places in different ways; usually needing around 5-8 notes to play

Playable short king used to be part of a group of 5 with colorcoded powers but all his friends died a long time ago because of evil stuff and he‘s the only survivor ok this one‘s obviously not serious lmao

It ain’t botw but. Small travel companion who does all the talking to fill up the void by the gameplay- silent protag (genshin give Traveler a voice more often smh) and is also probably linked to the major story in some way (really tho, except for Navi every single companion has major ties to the plot in some way). Also I‘m pretty sure Paimon gets called a fairy at least once at one point?

More stuff probably

Interestingly enough, the most noticeably direct similarities can be found in Mondstadt (and Liyue) , aka the region that‘s been here since the very start of the game, and more importantly, before the game was launched.

TLDR it’s doing it’s own thing now for the most part but there’s no way this game didn’t start off "heavily influenced“ at the beginning lol