#but yay me I kept being dumb

[jellyjamheadobb]

Not this being me at a local grocery store earlier :D

[aciddrattboyy]

Lσʋҽ & Wαɾ

┆ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ - "after getting upset with your bf over him beating someone up, he decides to make it up to you. in a library...."

ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ: ★ Starring: Ryusei Shido x F! Reader ★ Run Time: 3.3k ★ Genre/Warnings: [Rated R: Adult Film] fingering, public sex, exhibitionism(?), dirty talk(?) [college au!]

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“where’re you off to,” ryusei's voice seemingly came out of nowhere as he materialized next to you. walking in pace with you as you rushed through the campus courtyard to the bus stop. 

“somewhere youre not, ryusei,” your tone was dry, not bothering to give him the satisfaction of looking at him. you heard him make a mock, exaggerated sound of hurt as he brought a hand up to his heart. 

“why so formal,” you could practically hear him pouting and under different circumstances you wouldve found it cute. but not now, while you were still upset with him over the events that happened a couple nights prior. “what happened to ryu or baby or love or honey or daddy-,” you spun on your heels, glaring at him as your face began to heat. he stood there, a dumb look of innocence on his face with his hands stuffed into his black shorts.

“shut up,” you grit through your clenched jaw, readjusting your bag as you turned back around, knowing you’d be screwed if you missed this bus. but ryusei had other plans, side stepping you and cutting you off.

“are you still mad,” he asked simply, in a way that sounded like you were the one being dramatic. you scoffed, shaking your head as you tried to move past him. but it was never that easy with him, getting stopped once more by his towering frame in front of you.

“i need to get on the bus,” you tried to reason with him, but the way his smile only grew made you realize that was a bad decision. 

“i’ll let you go if you give me a kiss,” he puckered his lips comically, pushing his face towards you. within a split second, you decided this wasnt worth it; quickly walking back the way you came in hopes of being able to find a friend or even an acquaintance willing to give you a lift. ryusei hurried after you, hands coming out of his pockets to wave them in surrender. “okay, okay, okay how ‘bout i just give you a ride,” much to ryusei’s delight, you stopped in your tracks as you seriously contemplated it. on one hand, you were still upset with him. on the other, you wouldnt have to worry about creepy men on a crowded bus or pleading with someone else to take you. 

“fine-,”

“yay!” ryusei was quick to drape his arm over your shoulder, navigating both of you to the parking lot. “so where’re you headed princess,” his overly sweet tone was annoying you. you thought about lying, having him drop you off somewhere close and walk the rest of the way. but after thinking about it for more than two seconds, you realized that wouldnt work on him. 

“the library,” you kept your hands on the strap of your bag, not wanting to play into his games. 

“oh ew,” he said quickly, detaching himself from your hip to open the passenger door for you, closing it after you got in. ryusei may piss you off more often than you wouldve maybe liked, but you couldnt deny he was still a gentleman most of the time. lightly jogging to the other side and hopping into the drivers side, he shot you a smile. “why’re we going to the library,”

you were in the middle of connecting your phone to his cars bluetooth, seeing your contact name ‘my baby’ on the small screen before you paused. ryusei's lips twitched into a smile just for a moment, seeing you be so comfortable around him despite how angry you were. 

“we?” you repeated, glancing at him in disbelief before you started scrolling through your plethora of playlists. 

“yes we,” he said quickly, turning on the car and backing out of the lot. “are you hungry?” he asked absentmindedly. for the first time since seeing you to he wasnt teasing you or trying to get even more under your skin. he was still your boyfriend after all and your health was important to him.  

“already ate,” you mumbled.

“when?” his eyes were on the rode, one hand on the steering wheel in a way he recalled you saying was attractive once before. he glanced at you, seeing you reach in his glovebox for the spare phone charger you stashed in there months prior. 

“like an hour ago,” you relaxed back into the seat, noticing how it was still reclined the way you had it last time you were in here. grabbing your phone. after ryusei nodded in response you decided to just put one of your playlists on shuffle. almost as if you were in some weird romcom, the first song to play was one of the first songs you ever recommended to ryusei when you were still in a sort of talking stage; the only way you knew how to flirt at the time being to share spotify playlists. 

ryusei who also remembered how this song was apart of your relationship origin story, smiled to himself. humming along and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat.  the two of you fell into a somewhat comfortable silence. if you could forget how ryusei broke a guys nose and gave him a concussion for simply offering you a drink and then saying he did it for you, it would almost be a normal day.

you unbuckled your seatbelt as he pulled into the parking lot, grabbing your bag and opening the door once he stopped pulled into a spot. just as you were getting ready to give him your thanks, you heard him put the car in park and watched as he got out of the car. 

“what i said i was coming,” he shrugged his shoulders as you squinted your eyes at him. “oh,” he quickly cleared his throat, putting a hand over his heart and the other up by his shoulder. “i solemnly swear i will not break someones nose if they offer you a book,” 

“youre not funny,” you said lowly, scoffing as you made your way to the entrance. ryusei quickly got into step with you, easily slipping his hand in yours. 

“i was just being truthful,” pushing the door open for you, he watched as you took a crumpled piece of paper out of your pocket, reading it from over your shoulder. “are those the books you need?” he asked after reading the list. you only nodded, looking around the building as you tried to find where you should even start your search. ryusei knew you’d rather search the shelves for hours than ask for help and and he really didnt want to watch you go through hundreds of books before you could find the ones you need, so he snatched the list out of your hand, quickly turning away before you could take it back. “i’ll get these for you go find somewhere to sit,” 

“do you even know how a library works,”  

“no but unlike you i’ll ask for help- now go find somewhere to sit,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, making his way deeper inside the building before you could even respond. letting out a heavy exhale through your nose, you went the opposite direction, towards the study rooms and tables. 

you came across a corner with a small booth. the lighting was kind of bad but you’d rather have strained eyes than be confronted by yet another person who saw your boyfriend bloody a somewhat innocent man. you placed your bag on far side of the table, sliding into the booth with your back towards the wall and pulling out your phone. 

to your surprise, ryusei came walking over with a stack of books in his arms quicker than you thought he would. his face was turned away, using his most polite smile and tone to thank the elderly lady who helped him. you almost laughed when you saw the facade drop when he turned his attention on you. 

“here are all of your old, nasty smelling books,” he dropped them on the table with a small thud, ignoring your fleeting look of alarm at the noise. “librarians are actually very helpful,” he spoke while sliding into the booth next to you, smoothly draping his arm over the back of the creaky cushion.

“well thanks for your help,” you grabbed the heavy stack of books, pulling them closer to you and reading off the titles as you mentally checked off your list. “can you hand me my-”

“here,” he was already grabbing your laptop before you could finish asking, placing it in front of you before fishing his phone out of his pocket. you were grateful that he tamed his annoying tendencies when it came time for you to actually get to work. he sat next to you quietly, his side still glued to yours as he popped an earbud in and scrolled through tiktok. you put your own headphones on, quickly connected them to your phone and turning on your study playlist before opening your laptop and getting to work. 

ryusei was able to give it about three hours before he truly got bored. it was already dark out and he was running out of things to do. when he got tired of staring at his phone, he took a nap. when he woke up to you still working, he briefly stepped out to get you guys coffee and something to snack on. when he got back from the bathroom after chugging his drink in three seconds you were still typing away on your laptop. all of the books were open to pages you had marked, taking up almost all of the table space. he groaned and was mildly disappointed when he gained no response from you since your headphones were drowning out any outside noise. 

rolling his now sore neck thanks to his nap, he tried to think of something to do before he started bouncing off the walls. then his eyes landed on your thighs and suddenly he had the perfect idea. he knew he’d have to be careful about this, coming on too strong would make you all panicky. he had to take it slow. 

unceremoniously, he moved his hand from over the booth to his lap, readjusting his now half-hard cock in his basketball shorts. he slowly moved a hand to your thigh, rubbing small circles over the bare skin. he was silently thanking the weather for making you choose to wear shorts as he grabbed his phone off of the small portion of the table you so graciously left for him. 

you werent alarmed by his initial touch, it seemed harmless. you already knew ryusei was a touchy person and if anything you were surprised he was being so tame up until this point. that was until his hand rode up a little higher. it wouldve probably been noticeable if it wasnt for the fact that his fingers were now skimming just under your shorts. your head snapped towards him, taking your headphones off as you watched him stare at his phone. unfortunately for him, the sly smile tugging on his lips gave him away,

“whatre you doing,” you whispered, suspicion laced in your tone. he then looked at you, trying to use that same polite, innocent smile that he used on the librarian. 

“im just watching youtube-”

“you know what i mean,” you cut him off, not willing to put up with his bullshit. 

“no im not sure i do,” he squeezed your thigh lightly, letting you know that he in fact did know. this didnt stop him though, massaging your exposed skin as his fingers grew closer and closer to where he wanted to be. your thighs clenched as his middle finger slid over the crotch of your shorts, humming in delight at your bodys response. 

“behave,” you whispered through your teeth, turning back to your essay. but try as you may, you were not able to focus anymore. words blurring together as ryusei continued his little stuny, cupping your covered cunt. now that his charade was up, he completely disregarded his phone, eyes solely on you to watch every micro change on your face as you tried to keep it together. 

his hand traveled up to your waistband, not wasting any time before moving past both your shorts and panties. ryusei's smile was wicked as he pressed down on your clit, sliding down your slit. 

“well it seems like youre the one who needs to behave,” he spoke lowly against your ear, his middle finger just barely pressing into your fluttering walls. ryusei knew he was being a massive hypocrite. one glance over and you’d see his dick pressing almost painfully against his own shorts. but he enjoyed seeing you get embarrassed so he really didnt care. 

“youre awful,” your voice was strained, face heating up with a mix of fear and lust. you didnt know what you’d do if you were caught but it probably would involve your funeral. your insult only spurred ryusei on, dipping a finger inside you. he cursed under his breath, feeling how tight you were around him causing blood to run straight to his dick as he thought about how you felt around him when he fucked you. 

his free hand reach for your leg, hooking it over his to give him easier access. there was something extremely hot about how you didnt stop him. how you didnt want him to stop. it was evident in the way your hand clung onto his forearm. or more so in the way your hips were now rocking against his hand playing with your pussy, clit grinding against his palm. you didnt dare look at him, scared that if you did things would escalate even further. 

“youre pretty filthy arent you?” his tone was just plain mean, pushing two fingers in you without warning. he crooked them inside you before setting a slow, tortuous pace. “you say im awful but youre the one humping my hand,”

“ryu-” you whined softly, burying your head in your arms as if trying to hide yourself. his humiliating words made you clench around his fingers, silently willing him to go faster. he was moving painfully slow and you craved more. 

“ah there it is,” he clicked his tongue before roughly pressing the heel of his palm against your throbbing clit. “i see we’ve now dropped the formalities,” his fingers fucked into you just a bit faster. if you listened closely you could here the muffled squelching behind your shorts. “if i knew it would take a couple fingers in your pussy to make you drop the attitude i wouldve done this sooner,” 

this caused you to whip your head towards him, ready to tell him he wasn’t off the hook just for making you feel good. but this was a part of ryusei's plan, immediately catching your lips with his before you could even speak a word. the kiss was messy. bullying his tongue into your mouth as he added a third finger inside of you. you got lost in the pleasure of it all, small moans muffled by his lips as your hips eagerly bucked into his hand. 

ryusei was the one to break the kiss, pulling away slowly with your bottom lip caught between his teeth for just a moment before he let go. he loved the way your lips were now glossy and puffy because of him. he was about to smash his lips against yours again until he saw something interesting in his peripheral. 

“look over there,” he cocked his head, motioning for you to look in that direction as his smile grew wider. there was the guy he beat the shit out of just a few days ago. ryusei just couldnt believe his luck, praying to any god up there that decided to smile upon him this one time. he turned his attention back to you, seeing how mortified you looked as you ogled the poor boy sitting on the other side of the room. he was just barely in view, the bandages over his nose leaving no room for doubt. ryusei slowly pulled his fingers out just enough to thrust them back in and get a reaction from you. you had to slap a hand over your mouth to keep quiet as he curled his fingers, hitting that spongy spot inside of you that would have you mewling under different circumstances. “do you think he saw,” ryusei's tone was different now, a lot less light hearted and more so possessive. his smile was downright intimidating as he saw worry paint your face. “i bet he wishes he was me,” he continued on, leaning over and whispering in your ear as you tried to hide yourself again. 

the grip you had on ryusei's arm only tightened as you neared your release, his dirty words accompanying his now brutal pace in your cunt becoming too much. ryusei had been prepared to draw this out, wanting to see you whine and beg for him to make you cum. but now he desperately needed to see you come undone while the idiot who tried to get with you was there. ryusei knew it was petty, but he didnt care. hooking a finger under your chin, he lifted your head, forcing to look at the guy who had simply offered you a drink at a party. he was typing away on his computer, most likely not even aware that the guy who sent him to the hospital was here. 

“ryu- wait-,” your whines sounded pathetic, even to your own ears as you felt the knot in your stomach only grow tighter. you shivered as he placed a wet kiss on your neck, lightly nipping at your skin.

“how do you think he’d feel if he knew what you were doing? such a dirty girl getting off on your boyfriends fingers in front of another guy,” whispering into your ear, ryusei was probably enjoying this even more than you and he wasnt even the one getting fucked. the tent in his pants had grown painfully tight but he decided it was definitely worth it. your thighs were trembling, your lips parted as you got closer to an orgasm. 

he let out a low groan, feeling the way you were clenching down on him. having had much experience with making you cum, he knew you were close. pulling his fingers out, he messily rubbed at your clit. watching with sickening pleasure as you hunched over, hands flying to grip the edge of the table as you came undone.

“atta girl thats it,” his voice was husky, dripping with pure lust as he helped you ride out your high. he only stopped when your hips started to jerk away from him because of the overstimulation. you looked beautifully fucked out as he pulled his hands out of your underwear, making sure to keep eye contact as he sucked each of his fingers clean. 

“you cant be serious,” you were in disbelief, absolutely mortified at ryusei’s display. burying your head in your hands out of embarrassment after he just shrugged his shoulders in response. 

“well,” he got out of the booth, stacking all of the now discarded books. “i think you’ve done enough work for today,” he couldnt bite back his smile even if he tried, being rather proud of himself  for all the hard work he’s done. “how about i go put these away and you go wait out in the car- or will you need help walking,” 

you flipped him off as you slid out after him, knowing you weren’t going to be able to live this down anytime soon. you followed him silently as he walked over to the return bin, not daring to look back where ryusei’s victim was sitting. 

“i hope you guys had a productive night,” the librarian said innocently, all too happy to take the books off of ryusei’s hand. with one glance at you, his smile only grew 

“we most certainly did,” 

i hope you enjoyed !! reblogs/comments are very appreciated <3 ʟᴏʙʙʏ ﹕ꜰɪʟᴍᴏɢʀᴀᴘʜʏ 𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃

[minhosimthings]

Impatient details || 18+

Synopsis: You just couldn't wait as Hyunjin kept you waiting to finish his portrait of his most favourite muse.

Pairings: Hyunjin × fem!reader

Warnings: Smut, 18+ MINORS DNI, Fingering, masturbation, degradation, swearing, Hyunjin calls reader 'darling' and 'my muse', unprotected sex (don't do it absolutely not), Hyunnie cums inside of reader, overstimulation, dacryphillia, art studio sex let's gaur, it's a bit fluffy at the end

A/N: y'all I can't do this I'm SAUR HORNY RIGHT NOW DAMN THIS PERIOD. I really needed Hyunnie cause man is literally looking like a Greek God in that silver hair (although he has dark hair in this drabble). So this concludes my very first Hyunjin smut! Yay to my dumb brain for working.

Muses are such pretty little things aren't they? Oh to be a muse. To be dancing under the bloodlust stars with a person who considers you their entire universe. To be staying still and laughing in courtish conversation as he imprinted your figure against yet another canvas, in the same yet different shades of captivating colours.

"Hyunjin-" you dropped your arm from your waist, "-my arm fell asleep again." Always the artist, never the muse, changed when you met Hyunjin. Now, you were forever gracefully stuck as the starry eyes muse, remembered in reds and blues. "Hyunjin how much longer?" You whined to Hyunjin, who whisked his eyes away from the canvas in a whip. He lowered his paintbrush and put his palette on his table, brushing his long, dark hair out of his eyes. Standing up with a slight wince (probably from sitting for that long), he strode over to you, lifting your chin up with his finger. You could see the sweat beads glisten on his forehead, and his fingers all covered with paint. A splash of paint decorated his neck, from where veins were slightly popping out.

“Always so needy for me, aren’t you? Can’t help yourself, can you?” He leaned forward to your lips, with barely any space between them. You could feel his breath hit your lips as you leaned forward to kiss them. To your disappointment, he leant back.

“Mm, always so impatient for me, ” Hyunjin smirked into an impatient, rough kiss, a surprise to you, after he had previously leaned away. "Mm Hyunnie-" you moaned into the kiss, Hyunjin's hands resting on your thigh, "Want you." Hyunjin pulled away from the kiss, caressing your cheek with his right hand.

"Not so fast my muse." He smirked like the devil in a dance, "you distracted me from almost finishing the painting, so now you're gonna pay for it."

He leaned back against his chair, leaving you dumbfounded on the couch. "Now-" he picked up his paintbrush, "-I am going to need something to motivate me to detail this painting, so why don't you touch yourself for me darling?"

"And don't you dare take that pretty dress off." He mused, biting his bottom lip in concentration "That's for me to do later."

You slip your fingers into your cunt, feeling disappointment at them not being Hyunjin's cock. As you start to hump your hand, you could see Hyunjin tighten his grip on his paintbrush, his face ever so scrunched up. He hasn’t fucked you yet, but this is good. You could see that hyunjin has been subtly grinding his long, pretty (and hard) cock against the easel for a good time now. “yeah, ‘m wet for you hyune~” you croon, wanting to cum so bad.

"Just a little more, my muse. Need to get the details right don't I? Need to make sure this pretty body gets what it deserves?"

You exhale lightly at that, trying not to react too much to what he just said.You aren’t sure if he can see you clench around your own fingers or not, but you nod in agreement.You want to move your fingers more, you want Hyunjin to watch you do more. You jolted your hips ever so slightly as you could feel warm liquid coming between your legs.

"Jinnie-" you moaned, eyes still focused on his fingers moving delicately across the canvas, "-want to cum please." Hyunjin smirked behind his canvas and turned his eyes away for a split second. “You want to cum?” he grinned devilishly, wiping sweat off of his forehead. “Y-yes, I— please—” “Hm, but do you really deserve to?” Hyunjin slowly dabbed at a spot on the canvas as your fingers stopped moving around your clit. "Please Hyunjin~" you moaned, feeling more impatient than ever.

"Aww baby." Hyunjin cooed, getting up again and striding over to you, “Tell me how you want me.” “Want your fingers in me.” You whined, watching him get on top of you. "Aww my fingers? How many darling?"

When you didn’t respond, he tilted his head at you, quickly thinking of a way to get you to answer him. His long, messy hair fell in front of his dark brown eyes, waiting for you to beg him. He always enjoyed the sensation of you being on your knees, absolutely going dumb for his cock He slid his fingers into you and his eyes flickered down to your pussy, clenching tightly around them.

He grunted deeply and twisted his other hand on his cock teasingly. His eyes were glued on you starting with your half-lidded eyes and your parted lips, trying to catch a breath. He trailed his eyes down to your chest which rose and fell with each panting breath you took. He traced the curves of your body with greedy eyes, your smooth skin covered with a thin layer of sweat.

You slip your hands into his hair again, pulling him back down to continue the passionate kiss, holding onto him desperately. Youf tingled between your legs when his cock brushed through your folds and bumped against your clit, reigniting the flames of your desire. The heat of him turned you on, as if he’d drugged you with just a kiss, with just a touch of his glass skin on yours. He pressed another kiss to your jaw, ghosting your skin with his soft lips. He gave you a messy kiss, leaned his weight on his arm by your head to drag his rough hand down your body. He took your breath away again, pulled away just far enough so he could follow the path of his hand with his eyes.

"I think you need to be fucked properly, don't you my muse?" He stroked his cock, "Do you need to be fucked hmm?" "Please Jinnie-" you whined, missing the feeling of his fingers inside of you, "-need you against me, please." Your begging words ignited Hyunjin's mind, his eyes filled with fiery desire.

"Hyun- Hyunjin fuck!" Hyunjin slips into your cunt so easily. He kneads your breasts just right, pinching and caressing where you like, and his lips leaving open-mouthed kisses on your neck. You moan his name, and you feel his cock beneath you coming gradually to life. You grind your bare cunt on his nourishing cock, and his hand grasps your hair to pull your head. “Behave,” he warns with a chuckle, “Fucking eager, aren't we?” You could feel tears come out, decorating your face along with the sweat. Hyunjin's cock twitched as he saw your eyes all glossy and your face scrunched up, trying not to sob out of the pleasure he was giving you.

“Fuck you’re so—” He groaned, his hips shifting as he sat still for a second and he soaked in the way your lips parted and your eyes rolled back with pleasure. “—Fucking tight. You’re already squeezing the fuck outta my cock.” One thrust, then two, Hyunjin goes deeper into you, your moans giving him Heaven to his ears.

"Hyun- wait - I-I can't-" "yes you can darling." Hyunjin's eyes darkened over you, his hands still on your hair, as yours reciprocated. “Hyun,” You whined, squeezing your eyes shut, the overstimulation making tears slip from your eyes and your legs shake. You felt a shiver run down your spine when you felt his lips on your spine, his tongue running over your skin. He stopped at your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses before he pressed his lips against your ear.

“You’re my good girl right? You’d do anything I tell you to?” He coaxed, his voice deep and smooth, enough to make you want to come right then and there, again. You nodded, not trusting your voice. “Yeah you fucking would. So cum for me, now.” He demanded, his hand slipping down your body to run your sensitive clit and the overstimulation was enough to send you over the edge.

“Fuck, fuck that’s it,” He moaned, his hand squeezing your neck tight enough to bruise, but not enough cut off your air entirely. He turned your head and kissed you hard, tongue slipping into your mouth as he sunk into you one more time before he spilled inside you.

"Whew!" Hyunjin panted as he collapsed next to you. "You know what, this actually is a weird couch. How is it supporting both of us?" You giggled, snuggling up to Hyunjin's warm chest. "Well thank you to Etsy for letting me but it for cheap. It's my most favourite place to draw my muse." You smiled into his chest, as he wrapped his arms around you, the smell of paint hanging around. "By the way," you spoke first after a long silence, "Did you get the details finished?" Hyunjin smirked at you, and buried himself into your neck. "I finsihed that shit a long time before you touched yourself all pretty for me darling." He whispered into your ear as you slapped his chest playfully, getting up to see how he had made a masterpiece of his muse.

[hazbinhappy]

If you’d like, what about Vox x a reader who’s very wary of men and it took Vox a long time to gain their trust because of this. - @am-i-interrupting

A/N: felt this in my damn core

You drop into hell and I won’t lie I think hell’s gender population is definitely more men ✋😐🤚

Anywho! You drop for whatever reason probably a dumb one because the Divine Judge was feeling silly and nitpicky

You work for Velvette in this case!

It’s not like you work for her because she’s nice, no it’s for the pay and there is wayyyyyy less men than anywhere else in Hell and that’s a win

One day she mentions that they’re doing a “Vee’s Specialty line” and that she needs you to help design the outfits

you were originally wary of this and when it came to designs you simply just emailed them solely to Velvette, but she texted explicitly "These are shit!! Vox is on his way to "consult" be here ASAP don't want him here longer than he needs to be"

you kept your distance, but quickly took the clothes he gave for inspiration

you vaguely heard Vox speak to Velvette about your weird behavior, but she was half listening

Vox checked in occasionally about how the designs were coming along because he's a damn control freak

you barely responded, often in short words or sentences

actually requesting that he emailed you instead (which he actively ignored and kept coming in person)

if you've played animal crossing new horizons think of Sable! you have to keep talking to her daily for her to open up

now i'm not saying that works here obviously (if it was me i'd be pissed off)

but occasionally he'll get a full response from you

you find it odd how interested he is in the clothes that are based of his likeness (Valentino just gave his designs the okay and left it at that)

soon enough you come to feel weird when he doesn't visit you at his regular time and feel sad and like something is missing

once the clothes are finally out to the public he has no reason to visit you until Velvette excitedly (while still being mean) that Vox is finally upgrading his wardrobe like the old man he is and that you're in charge of it

....yay more work

jk you're not ecstatic about the work in the slightest, but it means your routine is back to normal

he's probably the guy who is allowed within a normal vicinity of you that actually can get a full conversation

i wouldn't say y'all eventually date, but you guys definitely become borderline friends/acquaintances!

probably would take an eternity to date each other

but guess what! y'all have that

[cookiesdippedinanime]

I normally don't ever put my reviews online get out my feelings about a anime or show, but I have to talk about

Apothecary diaries🌿

⚠️Warning: Slander. Angry dialogue and a few bad words. Don't interact if you like Apothecary diaries.

Due to a super cool Youtuber I like (Classic man D) I got intrigued by the show. Seeing Maomao brutally slap a dumb later in waiting was choice. That was 2 years ago, and since I've been casually looking for ways to get into it. Manga? No library. Anime? Crunchyroll? Kept forgetting to ask my parents to subscribe. Watch moments? I didn't want to spoil anything big.

(Oh, how I wish I did)

Pan to about 8 days ago, it's finally available on Netflix. I was ecstatic! Unfortunately, though. It wasn't what I thought it was.

Maomao was kidnapped to the palace first off and was tremendously passive about the whole thing. (I'll explain why that's bad later) Don't get me wrong, if I was kidnapped, I'd totally keep my head down too. Next it's unfortunately brought up about a lot of infant demise. Then, there's Jinshi😒

Now, I love pretty boys as much as the next shojo fan girl, but he wasn't hitting for me. Lemme explain better. When we're first introduced to the beautiful menace, he's curious which servant girl (I can't remember what they're called) could not only read and write, but also knows the cause of Lihua's son's death.

I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but I know he tried to "seduce" Maomao in the same first episode. I found it adorable how he was getting blocked and how she was not feeling pretty boys. Notice how I said "found" as in past tense.

I was already a bit turned off by the "rich people pull" he and Gyokuyo pulled by making Maomao the poison tester, when she wants nothing to do with the royalty. But, then the "aphrodisiac" part turned up. Both me and Maomao were rightfully grossed out because she was technically supposed to taste the spiked steamed buns. Chew and swallow.

I don't doubt Jinshi's slick ass probably knew her razor sharp wit would catch on before it went into her mouth, but still😬 My red flag indicator did go off because of that, but I turned them off and hoped for the best. I was wrong. At the end of the episode, quick as a horny cat (Yes, I said the H word) He swooped behind Maomao, touched her and got very close to her neck.

He practically kissed it. Before she could react, he was ghost. (Or backed up. Can't remember!) But, she didn't do anything about it or call him on that. And as I recall, that was technically sexual harassment. I tried to Jinshi a chance after that, but the inner feminist in me and eventually the rest of me, decided I didn't like him.

I tried to just ignore him, but everytime he came on screen, I was just disgusted. He's so...slimy. Besides being extremely nosy (actually being an imperial detective) and handsome, I couldn't find any redeeming qualities. Maomao constantly getting the ick from him didn't help either.

So by episode four, (or five) I REALLY wasn't digging Jinshi. He was giving annoying second lead who couldn't take a hint, rather than elegant main lead. I actually started shipping Maomao with Gaoshun instead, lol. My final straw though, was right before the garden began.

Our Apothecary dame was all dressed up and preparing. Jinshi, (still being Gyokuyo's best homie) enters and was in awe of Maomao's beauty. And surprisingly lack of freckles. Now, I'm not bagging Jinshi too hard about learning about the dangers the common folk go through. I mean, yay for awareness. But, with my hate shades on, I was ticked he wanted to police the joint better now, because Maomao (his "girl") had talked about her struggles.

Talk about favoritism. I was hoping he'd go away after that, but I barely get what I want in media. Jinshi gets this horny blushy look on his face and is once again way too close for comfort. He sticks his hairpin thing in her bun. Not only did he put it wrong and actually prick her a bit, they tried to portray it as a "moment" between them.

And when she was like "what the hell" Jinshi mutters that it's hers now and rushes off to take care of his boner. (Yes, I consider him driven by lust. Sue me.) I was happy when Maomao removed his claim on her, but I was pushed over the edge Gyokuyo put it back in her bun. Once again, trying to make his constant harassment romantic.

Mad, didn't even begin to cover how I felt about it. I was enraged. I see all these moments between them posted on Crunchyroll and honestly thought it'd be a legit relationship. And hell, maybe it is? Maybe Jinshi's slimy personality does do an 180 and he's actually does treat Maomao like a person?

But, I for one, can't vomit in my mouth 'till he does. Jinshi's a sleaze with a pretty face. And I hate that Maomao hasn't done anything about it and it's condoned. And I'm usually pretty loose and understanding with shaky beginnings of relationships. Not to mention, I wished his attempts at rizzing were made comedic like Tamaki (Ouran highschool host club) but, I've already been ranting too long.

Thank you to anyone who lent listening eyeballs about my recent anime failure. If you have any opinions or agree with me, please comment🌿

[strniohoeee]

Sharp

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt and Y/N go out ice skating, but Matt forgets his gloves at home….Y/N offers him another idea on how to warm his fingers up. Will he take the offer?🤞🏽

Warnings⚠️: FINGERINGGGGGGG OH YEAH…..and that’s about it. This is an idea @flowerxbunnie and @lustfulslxt and I spoke about because of Matt’s little skinny fingers, and they uhh nominated me to be the one to write it 😀

Song for the imagine: Teenage Fever- Drake

⚠️This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

You say the word, I’m on the way

This shit feels like teenage fever

I’m not scared of it, she ain’t either

I was sitting at home bored and missing Matt, so I decided to call him

“Hey baby” he said on the second ring

“Hi Matt” I said

“How are you my love” he asked me

“I’m good, I’m just bored, and I miss you” I said twirling my hair

“Want to do something fun” he asks lowly

“Ouu define fun” I said smirking

“You dirty minded fuck, I was thinking like an actual activity” he said laughing

“I know a fun activity you and I can do” I said

“Alright be careful with your next words” he said back

“Uhh you’re boring, want to go ice skating?” I asked him huffing out a breath

“I’m down” he said

“Okay yay! Could you pick me up?” I asked him

“Was already planning on it princess” he responded

“Ouu princess I like that” I said smiling

“Alright you weirdo. Be ready I’ll be there in 25” he said giggling

“Uhh fine see you soon, and drive safe” I told him

“Thank you babe, I will” he responded before hanging up

I was already dressed for the day, so all I had to do was get my coat on. After 25 minutes Matt pulled up to my house honking the horn to let me know I was there.

I threw my coat on and headed out. I got into his car immediately leaning over and giving him a kiss

“Sup baby” he said slyly

“Ew don’t ever say that” I said giving him a dirty look

“I’m trying to be flirty and this is what I get” I said rolling his eyes

“Uh oh Mattitude” I said throwing my hands up

“Shut up, weirdo” he said laughing at me

“Ouu I like when you’re mean” I said poking his cheek

“Stop being such a freak” he said laughing and pushing my hand away

He drove us to the ice skating rink, and shockingly it was too packed. I figured it was because it was so cold outside not many people wanted to ice skate outdoors.

“Look baby it’s not too busy” Matt said pulling into a parking spot

“Good, less people in my way” I said taking my seatbelt off

“Love the attitude” he said getting out the car

I rolled my eyes, and got out, shutting the door behind me, and walking to Matt. We interlocked fingers as we walked to the entrance

“Ou your fingers are cold, and the rings don’t help” I told Matt

“Well it is 35 degrees outside” he said looking at me making a dumb face

“Ouu sometimes I want to smack that dumb look off your face” I said to him

“Yeah yeah” he said rolling his eyes

We had got in and paid, walking over to get our skates. We had changed into our skates, and heading out to the rink

Matt and I had been skating for a while, just chatting and laughing, but I kept seeing him rub his hands together

“Cold?” I asked him

“Yes captain obvious” he said looking at me

“Spicy today” I said laughing at him

“Yeah I’m fucking cold, and you know with my joint problems in my hands my fingers are sensitive” he said warming his hands up

“Why don’t you put your gloves on” I told him

“You’re right” he said digging into his coat for his gloves

“Shit” he said looking over at me

“What happened?” I asked

“I think I left my gloves in my other coat” he said annoyed

“Awww noo” I said looking at his hands

“It’s fine. I’ll be okay” he said

We continued to skate a little longer, and I knew the cold was bothering his hands as he couldn’t stop trying to warm them up

“Why don’t we just head out?” I asked him

“No it’s fine, I’m okay” he said looking at me

“I don’t know Matt, your hands are like ice” I said to him

“Yeah but it’s okay” he said smiling at me

“I know a way to warm them up” I said smirking at him

“Oh yeah?” He asked smiling at me

“Yeah….you, me in the back seat….your hands in between my legs” I said whispering

“Mm does sound nice” he said blushing

“What do you say?” I asked him

“Mm I don’t know there’s people here we could get caught” he said

“We won’t, come on baby it’ll be fun” I told him

“Alright let’s go” he said

We skated back to the exit, and returned our skates and put our shoes back on. We walked back to the car, and I got in the back while Matt turned the car on to put the heat on. He then joined me in the back seat

“You’re so naughty” he said before kissing me

“Only for you, plus I want to help my baby out” I said giving him doe eyes

“You’re too good to me” he said kissing me one last time

Matt started to kiss my jawline and then down to my neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses

“Shit Matt” I moaned out

“Come on baby help me get you out of these pants” he said pulling away

I lifted up so he could help me pull my leggings down along with my underwear

He ran his hand along my thighs, immediately getting goosebumps at his cold fingers

“Too cold?” He asked

“No it feels so good” I said looking at his hand move along my skin

Slowly Matt brought his hand down to my clit, I jumped at the feeling of his cold fingers, and he started to rub

“Fuck Matt that feels so good” I said looking over at him

“Yeah?” He asked smirking at me

He used his cold fingers to rub my arousal around, sending shock waves through my body

Slowly Matt sunk his cold ring clad middle finger into me

“Fuck Matt that feels so fucking good” I moaned out at the sensation

“So warm and tight” he whisper in my ear causing me to shudder

He slowly pumped his finger in and out of me before adding his ring finger in

“Oh god” I moaned out throwing my head back

Matt was thrusting his two fingers in and out at a rapid speed all that could be heard was the obscene sounds of his fingers delving into my cunt, and my moans

“Such a mess for me” he said watching me watch his fingers go in and out

“Always for you my love” I said looking over at him and kissing him

He continued to finger me pushing up against my g spot

“I’m going to cum…fuck” I moaned throwing my head back again

“Come on baby cum for me” he said as he started to finger me faster, and used his thumb to rub my clit

“OH GODDDDD” I moaned out lifting my hips off the seat

“I’m gonna cum matt I’m gonna cum” I said letting my jaw fall slack

“Come on baby you got this” he said, my cunt making obscenely wet sounds as his fingers thrusted up into me

“SHIT SHIT SHIT” I said as I was beginning to cum

“MATTTT” I moaned out as I was cumming on his fingers and my thighs started to shake. He continued to finger me allowing me to ride my high out

Once I came down from my high he removed his fingers from my cunt. Immediately sticking them in his mouth and licking them clean

“So good to me” he said holding eye contact

“Fuck Matt that was so good” I said catching my breath

“My fingers are all warmed up now, thank you baby” he said kissing me

“Anytime if it means your cold ring clad fingers can be buried deep in me” I said putting my underwear on and my pants

“Dirty girl” he said laughing at me

“Oh shut it, take me home” I said rolling my eyes

“Ouu for more?” He asked winking at me

“Of course for more” I said leaning over and kissing him

We both hopped in the front and he drove us back to my place where we had way more fun….

The End

This one was pretty short, but it was cuteeeee🧎🏽‍♀️💍. Anywho I got some more ideas cooking up in my dome. I just don’t know how to write them LMAOO

-J💅🏽

[faerghusfucker]

If you still feel like doing this ask meme and have the time and energy for it then I'd like to ask 1, 2, 3, 7, 8 and 23 for Dimitri.

omg yay i love doing ask memes i AM still doing it‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ thank youuu for asking

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

ok so dimitri, sylvain, and felix kinda hop around in my head all the time and they switch between being my favorites at any given time. i think dimitri is my favorite because i find his character arc super super relatable and i think it’s refreshing to have one of the lords very much not having his shit together any of the time 💀. this is more seen in hopes but i also love how he’s just. so earnest and so dumb sometimes. like yes i wanna see this sheltered dumbass king going to villages he doesn’t know without any concern for his own safety.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

like i said before it’s just how earnest he is 😭 it’s such a nice change of pace from Big Schemers edelgard and claude (much love to them) and it makes for so many sweet moments pre and post boar. also the detail abt him not being able to taste food is so like. fun and cute and i love it and i love how it affects the game mechanics and makes it so he only likes like. five foods. he’s a joy

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

the white savior narrative with dedue and duscur mostly. i’m SURE i don’t need to elaborate lol

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

i’m gonna speak mostly to fanart here but i LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOVE when people give him non-conventionally attractive features. 3H suffers from Everyone Has The Same Facial Features With Different Eyes disease so seeing people be creative with like his head shape and his nose and his lips is super super fun. personally i love him with a longer face and a long nose (not sure if i do the greatest job of showing that in my fanart tbh)

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

MISCHARACTERIZE HIM!!!!!! i see this perception of him a lot that paints him as some stagnant coward who is too afraid to enact any real political change which is so not the case and makes me think that several people just didn’t play/didn’t pay attention to azure moon. people forget that he had NO ALLIES IN FHIRDIAD AND VERY FEW IN THE KINGDOM!!!!!! his father was killed and the people who conspired against him were THE WESTERN LORDS OF HIS OWN KINGDOM (among others). he was literally kept under house arrest in the castle after the tragedy by his uncle who wanted to kill him and his freaky court mage. IF HE TRIES TO DO ANYTHING THEYRE GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!! edelgard has nobles in the empire on her side and the agarthans, dimitri has ONLY DEDUE. let’s use some critical thinking skills!!!! one of them is in a far better spot to make big sweeping changes than the other.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

this one from when you S support him lol it’s so silly. me when i’m given the ring of shock and horror

[kitcats-1-braincell]

Played start again x3 and holy fucking shit it murdered me and my friend who was watching me play

(SPOILERS FOR SASASA: P)

Ok ok I’m not really here to talk about the other endings but I’m here to talk about the fucking perfect route

Holy shit. My fucking horror when the king just one shotted us instantly and started hold on lemme quote my friend:

“Imagine being frozen and forced to see your friend getting smacked into the ground like a club. Could not have been Siffrin and the gang”

And also

We were both sitting there, jaws dropped, as we read that fucking dialogue of Mirabelle getting repeatedly thrown into the ground.

Like

What. The fuck?? I was not expecting to get one shotted, I thought maybe ‘oh!! Yay I get to win!!’ And then it’s just like ‘nope!! Watch this ;) ‘ and then immediately you get frozen and you can imagine the group watching Mirabelle get chucked around like she’s just a toy.

Ok rant over, have some things i thought was funny:

"Siffrin, I have now stolen your English and your words. You may never speak again." - me saying this as Odile because whenever I tried to voice her my words would die

"As always, you don't get a chance to catch your bry- blegh." "We've been climbling up the clastl- THE CAST- THE- THE- THE BLUH, THE....the castle! It's a castle!" Again, me struggling to form words

"Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Siffrin Christ?" - The tears probably (I kept on running into tears and we had a running joke about the wine and Siffrin)

"I feel bonita" - Siffrin wearing a cheap ass Barbie dress (we looked at the dresses in Miras room)

"Y'all love it when heroes get to turn their lives around, but you're not a hero, Siffrin, you're just you YOU LITTLE BI-" I don’t actually remember this but I found it funny when I was looking through the chat so hehe

"We've all died like 2000000 times already, I wonder how we'll die this time. Maybe we'll get grated like cheese?" Tears and time and Blood and stars ending joke hehe

“SIFFRIN CHRIST LES GOOO” the wine joke, we immediately thought of Jesus because of an inside joke

“Bro doesn't have natural white hair the creator is lying that mf's a blonde in disguise” we kept on calling Frin dumb for some reason I can’t remember

“Thou heart was ripped in twain, never to be mended again ✨” when Siffrin was getting comforted by everyone in the true ending :> (The Mirabelle one im pretty sure, wow there’s a lot of Mira in this post)

“THEY CAN SET MY CARPETS ON FIRE IDC THEY'RE SO SWEET” my friend wanted to adopt Bonnie so badly lmao

Adding onto the original post lmao

"There, go drink a beer, have a headpat, now get tf out I'm watching my telenovelas" - Odile (When Odile was comforting Siffrin and shooed him away after a bit, we joked about how she was your typical wine mom)

The Isabeau and Siffrin holding hands thing melted our fucking hearts lmao 😭

THEY ARENT WRONG.

There’s all I have for now, but expect another one SUPER soon because I was actually dying because of this one joke/quote

[radioactive-metal]

little funny fic

was reminded of the pandemic today (nearly 5 years since the first recorded case… good lord how time flies) and the election has me a bit (very) jittery, so I figured might as well make some fanfic, it might get my mind off of kt

so without further ado, my really dumb idea that I might expand upon later

what if the squad were stuck on deployment when future covid struck?

written in my notes app so far styling and spelling and stuff are probably terrible but I’m tired

AL:150, 16th of December 2380

Semperternity:

AL SIGINT division camera 725:

A gremp in a grubby coat wanders into frame, he locks eyes with a portly Terran and they swap paper bags. The human looks inside and walks off.

The gremp opens the bag, removes a cut of raw meat, and yawns. It then rubs its eyes.

18th of December 2380:

Aurora Legion Field hospital patient report 726437:

Species: Gremp

Ailment: unknown 

Symptoms: Persistent cough, fever, nausea, loss of taste and smell.

Treatment: Painkillers (Tylenol 100mg).

Mucus samples sent to lab for testing.

19th of December 2380:

AL neutral zone primary medical laboratory report:

Sample number 283636:

Common cold: negative

Influenza: negative 

Lystergia: negative 

Other respiratory viruses: negative

Notes: I ran these tests multiple times. Whatever this thing is I haven’t seen it before. Tests indicate it can infect at least 10 different species of sentients.

Quarantine the subject immediately.

January 4th 2381: 

Current semperternity case count: 284.

Tyler: My fancy new cybernetic eye really saves me so much trouble sometimes. I can sit in my dorm and read the news while sipping my coffee, saves me from having to get the physical copies from down in the cafeteria.

The legion is bumping up resources being sent to semperternity, I heard some whispers about a new virus or something? I have mission with the squad to deliver some medtech out that way later today.

March 12 2381:

Current total case count: 1,002,933

Current cases in the legion: 726

Scar:

My first thought when they sent us out to a listening post for an easier mission was “this will suck”. Imagine my surprise when our deployment is extended from 20 days to 20 weeks at the earliest because of this new virus, Covid-80 or something. Came out of semperternity and theirs big worry it’s some kinda of Rahaam offshoot, cause ya know, of course, once in a century pandemic just after a once in an aeon weed uprising. Just what we needed.

The one benefit is that I get to room with fin for the foreseeable future…. I hope the walls are thick.

Auri:

Time is once again laughing at me. The memories of the last pandemic I had to live through are still fresh. I never got over seeing New York that empty… such a freaky sight. Now I’m stuck in another one… yay? They kept the old naming scheme though, I had Covid-53 but now we have Covid-80. Very futuristic. But now me and the rest of the squad are stuck out in the boondocks on a rinky dink station for the next looooooooooooong while.

Maybe I can finally get everyone to watch the Lord of the Rings movies…

March 21 2381:

Current total cases: 1,103,833,936

Cases in the legion: 2,026

Tyler:

I enjoy reading about history, and I have nothing but free time given my… current situation.. so I’ve started reading the histories of pandemics in the past. I read about the crippling effects of the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1919, of the far reaching social impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic. Of the political change from the Ghentpox. I’ve called in a favor with an old friend currently working in the labs, and I’m seeing the numbers: I don’t think this will let up any time soon.

I might have to call in some favors, or some company, or both. I fiddle with the Syldrathi Blade on the table, and I make a call.

Finian:

Don’t get me wrong, sharing a bunk with Scarlett jones is quite possible the 2nd best thing to ever happen to me, the only thing better being dating her in the first place, but between her and the lack of zero G I’m barely able to walk. I might have to convince her to share my quarters on the Zero.

Anyways, I’m bored out of my skull, I’m only here for emergency repairs, so I have nothing to do on the average day beyond screwing around with whatever scrap electronics I can find. My Exosuit now has: a second bottom opener, an emergency oxygen system, a gremlin and the EM hardening to resist it in a special power mode, Solar charging, a Maker Damned Cupholder. I and genuinely running out of things to do. Maybe I should make something for Scarlett….

April 2nd 2381: 

Total cases: 1,356,736,378

Cases in the legion: 7362

Kal: 

I have come to understand why my culture emphasizes time to be alone and time being away from one’s Besh’mai. Without that, we would all spend all our days simply lying in bed with our beloveds. I have had amble opportunity to do so, and my heart aches when I think of when this will all be over.

I wake up with my Besh’mai next to me, we eat breakfast together, we play the card games Scar organizes together, we watch the pirated holovid movies finian has together. My heart is full to bursting with joy. Even my words here cannot describe it, for how does one describe a rainbow to a blind man? How does one describe an orchestra to a deaf man?. I can say this much, it is true peace to have her here, and I thank the ghosts of syldra for smiling at me so.

Saedii:

My shuttle was the last vessel to leave new syldra. I received special admission to travel from the Galactic Health organization. Gone are the days where my mighty ship sailed the void with no care for such organizations, but such things must be put aside to rebuild a culture.

I arrived at the backwater station after 16 hours of folding. Tyler Jones had personally invited me here, and though I loathed to admit it, I missed his company. I guide my personal shuttle into the docking bay, next to that hideous ship that I had planted a tracker on what was only months ago. And what long months they were. From officially organizing the reintegration (NOT surrender) treaty of the unbroken into sydrathi society to reorganizing the warbreed away back into a part of the whole, I had scarce time to catch my breath

Part two coming sometime maybe

[skyfallscotland]

Ok, House of Sky and Breath live reactions, final part! We're done! Only one more Maasverse book to go. Thank fuck

• Ithan noooo! How will Tharion ever survive if you die before he realises how perfect you are together?

• Oh, Tharion's actually here? Don't worry Dumb, Dumber is here to make sure you're ok 😭

• Wait??? Is Tharion with Hypaxia?? I mean...that's ok, she thinks Ithan's cute? We could make that threesome work??

• Ooooh Ruhn setting up his own Cinderella moment? 🥺 top tier shit!

• Ruhn's Cinderella moment getting ruined by the evil step-sister? Not top tier shit 😤

• WAIT, Hypaxia and Celestina?! Ok, that one I didn't see coming! Literally everyone in this fic book is in an arranged marriage and none of them want to be in it and honestly, I'm so tired of SJM using consent and rape as a plot device and barely ever touching the consequences

• Almost as sick as I am of Bryce and Hunt's sex drive. Shut the fuck up, honestly, you're insufferable!! I'm almost finished this book I think? I hope? And there's been barely any (worthwhile) plot whatsoever. I'm here for the smut, I love smut, but there is such a thing as too much and these two are so boring, I can't even. I'd rather eat stale bread, bye

• Lidia 😭😭 Imma take that as confirmation that I'm right and Day is the Hind. I have such a soft spot for the sister who was discarded and turned into a vicious little thing, may she get her own shadow wielder, she deserves it 😭🖤 Remi 🤝 Lidia forever

• "I don't have a foot fetish." You're BITING HER TOES 😭 I hate them istg

• Oh, we're talking about a war? Yeah, must be the last 200 pages.

• Tharion is such a fucking idiot. Maybe that’s why I ship him with Ithan—just...dumb and dumber.

• Baby Baxian being Danika's mate? Danika not telling Bryce a single thing? No, no, nope, not having it. Firstly, Baxian deserves better tbh. Secondly, Bryce is an idiot if she a) missed aaaall this and b) still thinks Danika was ever her friend, what a [insert c word here]

• It’s actually incredibly depressing how much emphasis she places on sex and the way the men are always thinking about sex. Like?? I’m not here for realism gal and I’d like a side of feelings with that. Ruhn is at least more interesting than Hunt in that regard, but still…ugh.

• “Your starborn bloodline specifically hailed from a small isle a few miles from the mainland….the isle existed in a near-permanent twilight” ACOTAR Dusk Court???

• Celestina being a backstabber? I was surprised tbh, you lulled me into a false sense of security in those many, many pages, good for you SJM, but also, fuck you for handing her someone as nice as Hypaxia, unless she's about to turn into a hidden psycho too

• YAY, the internet's worst kept secret is here! Hiiiii Rhysy! 👋🏼

• Also the internet: what if Azriel is Bryce’s real mate??? Me: what if Azriel and Bryce are related??? 👁️👄👁️ Not sure how my mind jumps to the complete opposite place of other people all the damn time but…here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️

Final impressions: • fuck that was a big book for not much happening • why the fuck did i ever need to find out anything about sofie or her brother at all, what a waste of time, really • danika's still winning the world's worst friend award, two books running • if i ever have to read about bryce and hunt having sex again it will be far too soon.

[worthlessteacherspet]

2/26

the first classes of the day went as a wensday usually does. barely saw him. I did get some good work done tho and we watched a movie about 9/11. also I applied for drivers ed yesterday.

the meeting rolled around and I was pretty excited to see him. he sat in the back instead of at the table like usual but it was fine.

tho I found out in the start that we might not have school tomorrow! I'm obviously pissed. I don't want another fucking snow day on the Thursdays when I'm supposed to be with him!

during the meeting he was being pretty silly. at first he came up to tell the girl behind me that the thing she was fidgeting with was too loud. but then he realised it wasn't that making the noise and he crouched down and looked around for what the noise was. everyone stopped and watched to giggle. I got pretty upset at one point because he was touching other people's shoulders again and yeah. but I calmed down cus

after returning to the back table I watched him sneeze and fucking rocket snot into his palm 😭 😭 it was actually pretty dumb and cute idk. no one else saw it.

after the meeting I found out I was supposed to have lunch in that room! so I sort of circled around him to talk to him until he went to go play a card game with some other kids.

I stood nearby and kinda lurked, which seemed to be pissing one of the kids off pretty bad but I didn't move I just kinda ended up sulking cus I wasn't getting to talk very much. but I got to stand there and watch him.

when that was over he was signing my thing and he tossed his pen across to come over around the table and stand next to me for a second. I told him I didn't want to miss another Thursday and he said he knows but he at least got to spend some good time with me today and yesterday and that they were working on making a plan to help with things!! yay!

I did overhear him say he got in trouble for giving me the jacket 😭 which made me feel a little guilty.

then I had to stay behind longer than usual to catch up on some missed work which I ended up crying about for a moment cus of everything I mentioned prior. but eventually I pushed through and did my work.

I told one of the younger classmates that I was upset about missing tommorow and he kept asking why. I eventually vaguely told him I was overly attached to one of the teachers and that was our day and he guessed pretty fast who it was lol.

[patibato]

[Bitter Sweet Sixteen] 002-B02 - The Hair-Raising Sentai World is Too Sick!

Momiji: Umm, what on earth is this…

Akuta: Huh!? What's with that reaction! Isn't it clearly a concept, no matter how you look at it!?

Momiji: Y-yeah…

Nanaki: About this concept document. It looks like there's a… crab…? Thing drawn on it.

Akuta: It's not a "crab-thing", it's a floral egg crab. Come o~n! You're just playing dumb now!

Kiroku: I… really, like… it… this, picture…

Ushio: We aren't holding an exhibition here.

Sakujiro: Let's set aside the quality of the art. The problem is the content.

Akuta: Ye~s, allow me to expla~in! Plea~se turn to page one of the document!

Muneuji: But there's only one sheet.

Akuta: To start, I think it'd be good if the concept had a boom-boom pow-pow action feel.

Every customer gets to feel like an action star! Right? Right? Just thinking about it is hype, right!

And so, the curtain rises on the "Tourism Sentai Tourism Rangers! ~Revenge of the Demonic Floral Egg Crab~"

Ushio: Rangers…?

Muneuji: Come to think of it, he was making a ruckus the other day about studying tokusatsu sentai shows. And that he signed up for a subscription.

Akuta: A giant demonic floral egg crab invades Asu-High! Its favourite food is the brains of tourists and meat buns!

Momiji: (What a harsh worldview…!)

Akuta: A trampled school building! Explosions! Students and guardians in a panic to escape! Who could they possibly call to help!

We, the Tourism Sentai Tourism Rangers, appear in a flash and save the day!

I'm Tourism Orange! Kiroku's Purple and Nanaki's Turquoise! Pink is Muneuji and Ushio's Lime!

Ah, and when we appear there'll be an explosion of smoke in our five colours. That's a given when doing sentai stuff.

And so, with the evil defeated, peace is briefly restored to Asu-High, UNTIL—

Momiji: Wait, before you get to that, what's this Hishio bowl-like thing?

Akuta: The ones we had the other day were crazy good, so I drew that as a bonus.

Nanaki: Nothing to do with the concept, then.

Akuta: I'll continue now, thanks for your attention!

Akuta: And finally the Demonic Crab and the Tourism Rangers put on the BEST live and revue, THE • END!

So? Whaddaya think~!?

Momiji: To summarise… is it safe to say the general concept is "sentai action"?

Akuta: Yep!

Nanaki: How long did you spend thinking about this?

Akuta: A few seconds?

Sakujiro: I suppose coming up with all this in a matter of seconds can only be considered impressive, but… it's rather incoherent.

Akuta: Incoherent! Yay yay!

Momiji: Sakujiro-san, Akuta-kun considers "incoherent" to be a compliment.

Sakujiro: My mistake, then.

Ushio: Its favourite food being brains is seriously gross, so definitely change that. And aren't there too many explosions? Why do you want to blow stuff up so much? I don't get it.

Akuta: Becau~se art is an explosion.

Kiroku: …How will we… make… the, explosions…?

Akuta: That's already settled with the egg!

Muneuji: But it's returned to the sea.

Momiji: Egg?

Nanaki: Ah—no, it's uh… an egg shaped bomb. We saw something like that on dazzle recently.

Ushio: It's just some stupid anime thing, don't worry about it. We're still kids, you know.

Momiji: (Regardless, popping up with such an out-there plan… I was careless.)

(I should've checked in with him more. I know he has a tendency to run wild, I should've kept his hyperness in check.)

Ushio: So? Our team name?

Akuta: Just what I said! The Tourism Sentai • Tourism Rangers!

Ushio: Th-that's so lame I can't even comment on it.

Momiji: (This is my responsibility. First, I need to get control over the situation somehow—)

Nanaki: …This isn't gonna work.

Kiroku: …

Nanaki: To start, we can't make a giant demonic crab, and harming the school would be…

Akuta: No no no, we'll have them act like it's happening!

Ushio: Being forced to act at an open day… no way.

Muneuji: Even as a show, I wonder if everyone visiting the school would enjoy this concept.

There will be people of all ages and genders. How about doing something with wider appeal?

Ushio: What would you do if someone got hurt in an explosion? Wouldn't it give us all social death for sure this time?

Probably best that you stop going "explosions, explosions~" so casually. For all our sakes.

Kiroku: … I feel… like… you haven't… thought… about… the budget.

Akuta: Ugh…

Nanaki: In the first place, nothing in here has anything to do with either Asu-High or Hama.

Ushio: Don't go on about crazy things, and come up with a proper concept already.

Akuta: …H-haven't you just been criticising me all this time! Even in JJ Park, after judging it they go "but" and praise it. Isn't there anything to praise me for!

Muneuji: I've been searching for some for a while, but all I've found are difficulties.

Akuta: Doh…

Kiroku: …I think… the, pictures, are… good…

Akuta: …

Goin' toilet.

*door opens*

*running*

Momiji: A-Akuta-kun…!

(His expression was uncharacteristically stiff… It might be best to get some fresh air.)

—Everyone! It's a bit early, but let's break for lunch.

Momiji: (What are you doing, Akuta-kun…)

Nanaki: …

Momiji: Nanaki-kun! Do you know if Akuta-kun's in the conference room?

Nanaki: -… …I don't know.

Momiji: I see. Thank you.

Nanaki: …Right.

Momiji: (I think I'll go buy a bento for him and try calling out… I hope he cheers up.)

Akuta: … …

Nanaki: Whaaat are you idling about for?

Akuta: Woah!? Nanaki, you scared me!

Nanaki: Got you. …Can I sit on the elephant too?

Akuta: Go right ahead~ Not like it belongs to me.

Nanaki: …I was thinking you might've felt down from earlier. You faced some pretty harsh criticism.

Akuta: …Aah~

Nanaki: Since I make music, I kinda get it—

Making art is like laying yourself bare. I'm familiar with the fear of exposing it to the public.

But you know… Even if it's not perfect, you can't make a start without doing that.

We became Ward Mayors for the purpose of starting all kinds of things.

There's bound to be hardships, as well as those who deny you—lots of them, in fact—

But no matter what, I think, "I have to make a start". …I'm sure it's the same for you.

Akuta: Hehe.

Nanaki: ?

Akuta: Thanks! You've got a gift for being kind. But I wasn't feeling down aaat all about it!

First off, people that don't understand how great I am are the ones who end up cramping my style—

So all I gotta do is say bye-bye to them. Simple, right?

In this world, we have "the freedom to not understand each other". S'what my uncle says.

Nanaki: …

Pfft… hahahaha…! And here I was, getting all worried. Should've known how tenacious you are. How fun.

Akuta: That~said.

This time, I don't wanna say bye-bye just yet. It'd be too easy, so no way.

Nanaki: …

Akuta: Ah, you want some? They're tasty. Kiroku came by and gave 'em to me without a word earlier.

Nanaki: Small baby cookies… seems like something he'd give. Thanks. Nom nom…

Akuta: Nom nom… By the way, are you making the music for our Hospitality Live?

Nanaki: Huh?

Akuta: Your songs are the BEST! I've wanted to get one from you from the start!

Nanaki: Aah… yeah, well, I guess… that's fine… no, let me think about it a bit more.

I'm actually holding back on making stuff for now.

Akuta: What!? Why!?

Nanaki: …'Cause… they…

They… all end up being lo… love songs.

Akuta: Huh~!?

Nanaki: I want to stop too, or like, I feel like I'm slipping into bad habits, so I've been trying to bottle up my feelings, but…

Akuta: Wha~t are you grumbling about? Anyway, we don't need a love song, y'know? A regular one is fine.

Nanaki: I know. But—haven't you ever had something you can't help but think about, asleep or awake?

Akuta: …

Nanaki: That's how I'm feeling right now. But I could say the same about you…

That concept you showed us earlier was completely cluttered with stuff you wanted to do.

Maybe it'd be a good idea to focus on one thing you think about often to use as a base.

Not movies or anything. Something that's come from inside you, y'know—

Akuta: Inside me… like what?

Nanaki: Like— l-love troubles, or something…

Momiji: Ah! Here you both are.

Nanaki: -…!?

Akuta: Oh, Sensei!

Nanaki: W-with that, I'll leave things here! Bye!

*running*

Momiji: …Nanaki-kun left, huh.

Akuta: Yeah. …Hmm… …

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

[weirdoinred]

I was really drowsy earlier and i thunk up some lore for my dynastyAU about soundwaves backstory. Buckle up yall this is a long one

Vos is a very large region of cybertron that was split up into four parts in order to make ruling easier. Vos is also one of the last two regions on cybertron that uses a monarchy. It was split up into northern, eastern, southern, and western kingdoms, each with its own ruling family. Eastern Vos is actually the biggest kingdom, both in size, population, and military, as its main focus is security and weapons development. Starscream, his trine, and most of the other seekers originate from eastern Vos, with Starscream being the last ruler before his whole power hungry usurping of the rest of Vos and the start of the great war.

Eastern, western, and northern Vos are completely cut off from the rest of cybertron and do not allow outsiders into their territory. They only allow trade and communication between the other parts of Vos and with other Vosians. Northern Vos is a lot more lenient with this policy as apposed to western and eastern Vos as both kingdoms see cross communication as treason and the punishment for being caught is severe. Southern Vos is vastly different and the rulers actually encourage interactions with other cybertronians.

Southern Vos was ruled by Empress Skyline. Long story short, she fell in love with a grounder before she was crowned Empress and after she ran away and had their first sparkling together she was found and brought back home. The grounder, a mech named Chambertune, snuck i to Vos to rescue here and was also caught, no surprise there, and was about to be executed when Skyline came running in and put herself between the excecutioner and her conjunx. She argues with her parents, theres an emotional moment, Chambertune is released, and for her bravery and idk true spark or something, shes crowned Empress as her parents retire from ruling and make Chambertune the royal ambassador and he deals with customs or something. Basically they put him in charge of opening the borders and integrating their society. Fun times yay.

So they had their first child, her name is Hurricane (theres a reason why please just trust me), while Skyline was in her running away era, and after she ascended to the throne, her and Chambertune proceeded to have six more sparklings over the course of several million years. Soundwave was the very last sparkling they had together. In this AU he also ends up working for Senator Ratbat but there is a lot that happens before that.

What i meant when i said Starscreams power hungry usurping of the rest of Vos, is that this dude went absolutely apeshit. The second he was crowned Winglord, all he wanted was more power. I wanna be clear that he is not a bad guy. Hes just incredibly spoiled and his entire childhood was his parents constantly feeding his ego about when he would finally be the ruler of eastern vos. Hes like 19-20 when hes put in charge. But once he got the throne it was horrifyingly anticlimactic. He expected to feel a lot more than he actually did and it was upsetting. He spent years yearning for this power and then once he got it, it wasnt enough. So the gears in his dumb little brain began to turn and he schemed an honestly terrible idea but bc he was Winglord, no one was brave enough to tell him other wise, not even his own brothers.

His plan was to take over the other nations of Vos. Spoiler alert, he did it. Vos was unified into one again. The ruling familys were taken captive and if they didnt bow to him, they were removed from the equation. His biggest problem was Southern Vos. Because of how they had been integrating their society for millennium before he was even created, half of the population was comprised of grounders. This didnt bode well with his ideal kingdom of Vos so he set his military wild. What they did to Southern Vos was genocide. They took the fliers and killed the grounders. The hybrids and halfbreeds were kept alive in hopes of breeding out the grounder genes.

Empress Skyline, Chambertune, and their three eldest children fought Starscreams military off the best they could while the younger four children fled the kingdom. They were unfortunately, spotted by a lost soldier, who reported to a general about the four escapees. That same lost soldier fire two rockets at them, intending to block their path but hit too close to them and knocked two of the kids out. The oldest of the four, who was not knocked unconscious, stopped to check on the younger two while Soundwave, a bit disoriented and dizzy, ran in a random direction. His brother saw him run but he was too far away to hear his call. As he reached the border, a stray rocket him close to him and the shockwave knocked him across. The blast also hit his left side and messed up a lot of wires and connectors in his processors, knocking him out and giving him amnesia and reducing his processing ability, leaving him mostly mute.

then it pretty much follows the idw backstory with him being found and taken in by ravage, buzzsaw, and laserbeak. I havent thunken how to weave in his telepathy but i have somewhat of an idea. In this au, outlier abilities are a mutation. that mutation gene, in rare cases, can be passed down genetically to offspring. Its more likely for a sparkling to have an outlier ability if both parents have the mutation gene. In this case, Chambertune has that mutation gene but Skyline does not. Out of their 7 offspring, only 3 of them, have the gene. Is a lot more than usual but thats only bc an ancestor of Skyline had a very weak outlier ability that was only usable when he was in danger. Hurricane is one of them (her original name was changed once her outlier ability developed), Soundwave of course is another, and i havent decided on a name for the last outlier child but his power is one of my favorites.

yeah yeah so hes found by those three, he spends a little while with them, then in a little stealing from the rich stunt, he gets caught by senator ratbat cuz it was his place they were stealing from. Ravage, bs, and lb are able to get away bur soundwave isnt so lucky. Ratbat finds out about his telepathy (hes got like three different powers but those dont show up until later) and decides “hey ur useful! Mine now” and adopts him. Hes a terrible person and an even worse dad but we’re not getting into that right now.

but yeah thats like the gist of the lore. Some of it is still in development so im open to suggestions for a few things, one of which is names for soundwaves 5 other siblings (two femmes, three mechs), and also maybe a better resolution for Skyline reconnecting with her parents and becoming Empress bc i have not thought that era through

[luminary-of-the-marz]

Hello! You have been chosen.

Give me your favorite lotf ship/character hcs.

Have a good day!

-❤️anon

Omgee yay I’ve been chosen!! :33

Okay here’s a list of some of my favorite hcs I have 😽😽😽

- Ralph had a pretty decent home life pre-island, but after the events of the island his parents struggled to deal with his mental health issues and end up being pretty neglectful and irritable with him

- Jack does not have a great home life (his father is an alcoholic and both his mom and dad are quite neglectful)

- Piggy had a good home life, but his aunt didn’t really know how to deal with him being bullied

- Both Simon’s parents worked a lot so he was pretty neglected at home

- Don’t have many specific home life hcs other than those but I don’t believe any of those kids had the greatest home lives pre-island

- Jack is bisexual and at first felt like the island allowed him to feel that way without it feeling sinful

- Jack had a crush on Ralph and vaguely tried to explain it to Ralph but when met with Ralph’s silence became very self conscious of his crush and began to feel that the island didn’t actually free him from feeling sinful (Ralph just got nervous and was struggling to come up with a good response 💔)

- Since nobody had a count of how many kids were on the plane some probably died in the actual crash and another kid or two that no one kept track of died on the island at one point

- Ralph has a younger sister

- Maurice has 4 siblings (an older brother and sister and 2 younger sisters), he’s the middle child

- Feel like most the other kids were only children (other than Samneric obviously), some of the littluns maybe had older siblings

- Jack can’t really ride a bike (I have literally no reason behind this other than I think it’s funny)

- Maurice has a cat that’s mean to everyone but him and that he gave a really dumb name

- Roger has a space interest, he doesn’t really talk about it much though

- Rip Simon you would’ve loved Mitski

- I think it’d be funny if one of the twins were color blind idk which twin and what type of color blindness but it’d be funny

- Jack probably bullied Simon into choir

- Simon is artistic, he likes to doodle in the sand, craft bracelets and stuff with flowers and vines, etc

- Simon feeds stray animals

- Roger is very good at cooking and has a system to how he does it

- Jack on the other hand would make a mess of your kitchen and then set it on fire allegedly by accident

- Simon likes to play with other people’s hair

I also have a couple hcs for how some of the boys’ teeth look written down as reference for when I’m drawing so I’m just gonna drop those too

- Ralph has a pretty straight top row of teeth (just a couple small gaps here and there), but has a really crooked bottom row of teeth

- Jack has really crooked teeth and accidentally knocked out one after some time on the island

- Simon has a gap between his two front teeth and also has really crooked teeth

- Roger has pretty straight teeth but they’re really sharp, chips some of them after some time on the island

- Piggy has crooked teeth mostly in the back of his mouth

Okay that’s all!! Thank you for the ask!! :DD

[beastenraged]

Saplings and roots

(That's right. It's finally time, finally health has returned for...another section of the Storm Whispers AU! Yay! For @hallowed-nebulae)

We’re just standing there, chilling there, Xehanort and I, when a pink and orange fairy suddenly shows up. Flutters in Xehanort’s face, yelling something about being kept waiting and how rude that is, and it’s frankly pretty hilarious. 

I have to choke back my laugh at his response, it’s simply too much. 

“Can I...help you?” One of Xehanort’s eyebrows go up at the sudden ambush. But he is so totally about to lose his mind on the inside. I can feel it. Somehow. Don’t know how, but somehow. In the itch of my chest. The itch that has spread to the tips of my teeth too, don’t know how for that too. 

“Excuse me?”

Oh wait, did he get insulted just now? I hide my grin behind my hand. Deserves it. 

The fairy puffs up their chest and spreads their wings impossibly wider. “You may be excused if you apologize.”

Those same wings rustle and ruffle out their..scale feather things? Whatever they are for butterfly wings? No idea. 

“Though I suppose I should be harassing your younger self-- but she’s still young and you can’t expect buds to be as responsible and polite as flowers are.”

What a backhanded compliment, whoa. 

The Fae in this Radiant Garden are more...forward than I’m used to, Sure the Gullwings may have ambushed me in a similar way, but that’s only because they wanted something from me, not just to meet me. And I haven’t run into any other Fae like that. No one else. 

That might be because the Radiant Garden of my reality was thrown into Darkness and everyone’s still trying to recover, unlike here where that never happened. Stupid. 

...Great. Now I’m sad. 

My claws scratch at my scarred cheek. A distraction, the best I can manage. While still keeping an eye on Xehanort at the same time. On the fairy that is...Feo Ul? That’s the name whispered to me, from my Heart brushing against theirs. Like I learn the names of other Dream Eaters. Huh, what a name, sounds a bit more mechanical than expected for a fairy. But maybe that’s just me working off dumb stereotypes. 

“And you!”

Huh?

Talking to me now?

I blink my eyes to better focus. Shake my head ever so slightly. 

“What a lovely young sapling you look like! Have you any fae friends, then?”

“I don’t...eeehhh, are...”

I’m not sure how to exactly answer that question. Because the Gullwings don’t really count, seeing how they only talked to me to steal stuff from Merlin. Are Moogles fae? They seem pretty fae with how set they are on contracts and business with non-Moogle peoples. Also them adding kupo to the end of everything. 

Maybe I should ask. 

“Do Moogles count?”

“Moogles?” Feo Ul taps very dramatically at their chin, calling attention to their interested body language with the gesture. “Moogles are far stranger than fae, but they shan’t steer you wrong.”

They haven’t so far. I nod, relieved at the agreement. Don’t need to pick a fight with a fairy of an entirely different reality, that’s how you get curses laid on you. Unbreakable ones. 

“Mayhap they’ll teach you manners, so you don’t become so cruel and cold to your dear branch.”

That latter bit seems more directed towards Xehanort than me, honestly, but I’ll take the apparent advice in the spirit it’s intended. Weird, weird, weird. 

I can tell Xehanort wants to roll his eyes so bad, but he doesn’t. Good. I pat at his arm as a reward for avoiding getting cursed. 

“Thanks for chatting with us, as your, er, saplings?” I try. 

Feo Ul takes a moment to think before settling on a firm nod. One big enough to cause the pixie to drift momentarily downwards before fluttering back up. 

“Come along then, dearest saplings.”

Xehanort and I look at each other. The younger Xehanort is already falling in step. Seems to be just talking to the three of us, not the others who are still talking about who knows what with each other... 

“Um, sure?” I say. 

Satisfied by our compliance, the fairy flutters off all dramatically. 

Okay.

“So...that happened.”

-

The roots of this Radiant Garden reach deep. 

Yet they still welcome the Radiant Nightmare in. They know her, even as they belong to a separate worldstate entirely. A worldstate where it never fell to the Dark these roots creep around. 

She swishes her tail, stretches out her ribs briefly before collapsing them into her chest.

Yet her core of being still yet exists. The Radiant Nightmare is meant to protect Radiant Garden, so she means no harm here. No matter if calamity has happened or not. 

She sighs and releases a gasp of bubbles in the sound. 

The Radiant Nightmare reaches. 

Something very Fae indeed reaches back. 

Hello there! Will you be my friend?

[lonesomedreamer]

“The Rings of Power” Liveblog: The Eye (Episode 7)

That ANY characters survived the volcanic destruction of Bronwyn’s village requires massive suspension of disbelief…that (almost) all of the named characters did so is laughable.

Isildur has plot armor. There’s just no tension created for me by putting him in danger.

Oh, thank goodness, the Harfoots are back.

Not-Gandalf’s sad puppy eyes when he does something else that scares Nori are so effective. My heart. :(

“I am no common Elf, but Elrond Half-elven” So…not even a common Elf, you’re saying?

“The fate of the Elves was decided many Ages ago” The fate of the Elves—the Noldor or any others—isn’t whatever this show thinks it is.

It’s a shame that the acting in the father-son Durin scenes is always top-tier, because the writing leaves much to be desired.

Give this man an Emmy!

Mithril being a literal magical cure for whatever physical manifestation of Evil that’s infecting Lindon is just so dumb.

All the Númenórean horses survived, too? Sure.

Nooo, don’t send not-Gandalf away. :'(

It’s elanor, see? Very sweet! But also: why does everything need an origin story?

Give him an Emmy, too.

“And my husband. Celeborn was his name.” Excuse me, Galadriel’s HUSBAND? Whose existence hasn’t even been hinted at for six entire episodes?? And now she’s saying he’s dead?!?

“We met in a glade of flowers. I was dancing, and he saw me there.” Beren and Lúthien called: they want their love story back. (I mean…there’s no reason this couldn’t have happened for Celeborn and Galadriel, too—they also met in Doriath. But a meet-cute that was actually unique would be preferable.)

She looks appropriately dreamy when reminiscing about him, at least.

Again, the scenes between the two Durins are so well-acted, but their feud over the mithril and the Elves, and the king ultimately disowning his son over it, feels wasted.

The Weird Sisters are also back, unfortunately…and it turns out they’re evil. For reasons. The Harfoots need to suffer. Everyone needs to suffer. (sigh)

Other than one of Isildur’s buddies, the only supposed casualties among named characters were Bronwyn and Arondir…and surprise: they’re both alive, actually! Isildur’s obviously alive, too—based on his plot armor and multiple unsubtle hints throughout the episode—so tl;dr see my first point: no one died. But they’re happy to show plenty of third-degree burns and severed limbs, because this isn’t escapism: it’s grimdark.

Suddenly Theo’s treating Arondir like his dad? (Hell, maybe he IS Theo’s dad.)

“We sail with the tide.” Asking again: how close was Theo’s village to the coast, and how does travel time work on this show?

A heartwarming Harfoot scene! Yay!

“I’ll not abandon these lands and condemn them to burn.” Lmao…please just reveal Halbrand’s actual identity already, I am begging.

Halbrand is just going to ride off for hundreds of miles on horseback with a gaping, infected wound in his abdomen so severe that it must be treated by Elves to heal? Good thing he’s actually [redacted]!

So a leaf…awoke the Balrog? Or maybe the Balrog’s just there as very heavy-handed foreshadowing of what will eventually happen to this kingdom. It’s also funny (and disappointing) that they kept the exact same Balrog design from the WB movies.

The Good:

Some good Harfoot moments, plus actual character growth among several of them!

Poppy sings! ♥

The acting is pretty solid all around: from decent (Galadriel, Theo) to good (Disa, Elrond, all the Harfoots) to excellent (the Stranger, both Durins) without any performances that stuck out as really mediocre or bad.

The camaraderie between Durin and Elrond (and Disa) is both fun and a little bit heartbreaking.

Celeborn’s existence finally being acknowledged!

The Bad:

The writing is abysmal. Even keeping in mind that this is Tolkien-inspired at best and certainly not any kind of actual adaptation, it stinks. Let me count the ways.

No one should have survived the volcano, much less everyone who matters in the narrative.

Mithril should not have magical properties (the light of a Silmaril…gag) that save Elves from whatever is supposedly and suddenly wrong with them, and the king of Khazad-dûm should not be antagonizing/disowning his son over it.

Three unnamed, “mysterious” and, apparently, evil witch/priestess figures should not be hunting for the Stranger—and hurting harmless Halflings in the process—all for No Apparent Reason.

It shouldn’t be revealed that Galadriel, the show’s central protagonist whose primary motivation is, after all, seeking revenge, was widowed (!) in the last war seven episodes into an eight-episode season.

The writers shouldn’t pretend to “kill off” a character the audience knows has to live (Isildur), because there’s no narrative or dramatic purpose.

Oh, and the writers keep veering into grimdark fantasy territory when it’s tonally inappropriate for Tolkien’s universe. Tragic things, indeed terrible things, can and do happen in Middle-earth, but they’re not described the way this show is portraying them, and they’re not unremitting and random a la Game of Thrones.

I have no hopes whatsoever for the season finale (unless it’s to get a few more of those gorgeous visuals…that’s why I’m still watching, really), but at least Halbrand’s identity will finally be out in the open.