#but y'all need to stop acting like these kids

[dissvicious]

Alone in Wano - 2 / 2

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH for how y'all welcomed the first part of this little flic, I was SO nervous about it and I'm really really happy that it made you feel things! here is the second & last part, thanks again @a-killer-obsession for beta reading, platonically kissing you on the mouth buddy ♥ No content warning but maybe don't read if you're not comfortable with pregnancy & delivery stuff, and KidLaw is mentioned as a joke, maybe light Wano spoilers too

Part 1

“NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL. I'D RATHER DELIVER ALONE BY THE RIVER AND LET MY NEWBORN DRINK WATER FROM KAIDO'S FACTORIES THAN LETTING YOUR EMO-ASS FINGERS ANYWAY NEAR MY CUNT SO BACK OFF.” 

Law looked up at the ceiling, passing a hand on his face and taking a huge breath. He pondered for a moment if he could just leave the abandoned house and leave Nina on her own without checking her up. He rubbed his temple, looking down at the small woman in front of him, and tried to calm his nerves.

“Stop acting like a moron, Pinky-ya. You've lost a lot of blood, and I have more important business to attend. Just let me check if the baby's doing well, and I'll leave you alone.” 

Nina pouted and crossed her arms - a face she used to make to wrap men around her little finger. However that somehow had no effect on this stupid depressive doctor. Maybe her big pregnant belly blocked her cuteness aggression abilities? Maybe he was just an ass. She tilted her head, studying his face. By some ways he reminded her of Wire, which made her nostalgic.

That's not how things were supposed to happen. When Killer - at least the man she'd mistaken for Killer - hit her with his scythes, she lost consciousness and barely remembered anything then. She woke up in the small cabin she shared with Hiyori and Toko, curled in her bed, an immense pain radiating from her lower half. Hiyori did what she could to stop the bleeding but it was clear she needed a doctor to check if the baby was alright. By chance, running to the flower Capital, they bumped into Law, who was looking for his crewmates. Roronoa pushed her against the black haired guy like some kind of heavy packet with a mumbled “needs a doctor for pregnancy shit, Torao” before walking away, leaving both of them flabbergasted, and here she was. 

However, she quickly made clear that in no way Law could approach her, let alone touch her or look between her legs. Each of his attempts to do so ended up with him being hissed at and insulted, her nails threatening to claw his eyes out. There was a persistent rumor running through the new generation that Law and Kid had a quick fling at Sabaody, and even if it was long before Kid and Nina met, even if she never met Law before and even if Kid always denied it, it was enough to fuel her jealousy and hate towards this stupid ass doctor and his stupid ass poseur tattoos and his stupid ass spotted hat. 

“Come on, Pinky-ya,” Law insisted, looking at her with all the softness he was able to gather - which wasn't a lot, “just let me do a quick check up and I'll leave. I'll use my power, I won't have to touch you. Let me check if the baby is ok, at least.”

Nina hesitated, nipping her lips. She caressed her belly and thought for a moment. As much as it cost her to admit it, Law was right. She was worried sick about her unborn child. Since the attack, she suffered from heavy cramps, and she had lost a lot of blood. Tired and worried, she decided to put her ego aside and gave up. She lied on her elbows, uncrossing her arms, silently agreeing to let him do so.

Law closed his eyes and mentally thanked whatever god was listening to him for her cooperation, impatient to be done with this feral girl who seemed to hate him for no reason - not that he cared a lot. He conjured a room and used Kikoku to inspect Nina's body. Immediately, he frowned. 

“What? Something's wrong?” Nina asked in a surprising soft voice.

“How far along are you in your pregnancy, Pinky-ya?”

“About 7 months, why?”

Law put down Kikoku and looked down at her, understanding at the moment that he was far from being done with this girl. 

“You're in labor,” he said bluntly, looking her in the eyes. 

Nina sat up immediately, gritting teeth as she felt an intense pain in her lower abdomen. 

“No,” she cried, “he's too small, he wouldn't survive.”

Law sat on his heels, pondering his options. They were alone, in an abandoned house. With his devil fruit he could stop the labor, but he wasn’t experienced enough with pregnancy to trust his abilities to do so safely. Not to mention the mother lost a lot of blood, and the probable placental abruption the hit induced. There wasn't any good choice in this situation.

“7 months, he has good chances to survive,” Law said, trying to be reassuring.

Nina shook her head, putting her hands on her belly as to protect it from him, tears flooding down her cheeks. “No, no. You’re a doctor aight? And you have some shitty doctor power, so use them to stop the labor, I can’t deliver now, I can’t do it.”

As Law looked down at her, he suddenly felt a wave of pity for Nina. With her hands on her belly and the mix of anger and fear in her eyes, she looked like a feral creature protecting her cub. At this moment, he understood that behind all this though girl attitude and aggression, she was probably deeply scared and anxious.

“Pinky-ya,” Law said with a stern voice, looking right in her bright green eyes, “right here and now the best option for you and your baby is to deliver. If he stays in, with the blood loss and without any good hospital around, I can’t ensure his survival. I’m not sure, but I think your placenta broke. If you deliver, though, I could use my ‘shitty doctor power' to check for any issue and heal them if necessary.”

Nina shook her head again, closing her eyes as tears flooded down her cheeks. She was terrified at the idea of delivering alone without her lovers, without her family, on a dirty floor in an empty house. “I … I can't do this I need Kid and Killer, I can't -”

Law grabbed her knees and looked down at her with a stern glance. “You can, and you will. I won't let you nor your baby die.” 

Nina held his glance, and something in his face provoked a change in her. For the first time she felt that her anger toward him might have been misplaced. It was clear that he wanted to do everything he could to save her baby, and that’s what mattered. She nodded weakly, tears flooding down her cheeks.

“Alright Trafalgar. I trust you.”

Next hour felt like a torture for both of them. 

Nina was lying on her back, gritting teeth and crying, following Law's instructions as he was trying to help the labor, looking between her legs, trying to fight the urge to run out of the house and vomit on the ground. He saw a lot of body horror in his life but it was the first time he helped with birth giving and to say the least, he wasn't comfortable with the whole thing. If it wasn't to save an innocent baby's life he would have left this shit behind him. 

After trying different positions to help the labor, he gave up and looked at her. “It won’t work. You're too weak after bleeding this much. We need to do a C-section”

Nina whined and looked down at him “Again?!”

“You already had a C-section?”

“Not much of a choice when you're 5’0” and have to deliver a 16 pound baby…”

Law winced. Two C-sections, in a short amount of time… that was risky. But with his powers, he could manage to make it safe for her and her baby. “Pinky-ya, do you trust me?”

Nina surprised herself when she realized the answer was yes. They didn't appreciate each other, that was clear. However, he still went out of his way, stopped as he was going to look after his men, because she needed help and he was the only one able to provide it. Her eyes met his, and a silent comprehension passed between the two of them. Law stood up and raised up his hand.

“Room,” he said with his deep voice, the house around them suddenly glowing in a blue light. He looked down at her, trying to locate her womb and the baby in it with as much precision as possible, using both his devil fruit and his Haki to help him do so. It was the first time he had to do something like this, and he was a bit nervous. 

He took a deep breath to steady, before turning his hand, fingers pointing up. “Shambles.”

What happened next mesmerized both of them. Without any pain or suffering, a round hole opened in Nina’s belly. Her baby, wonderful, amazing, the size of a regular baby despite being preterm, flew up from it, umbilical cord still attached to both of them as Law created a protective bubble around him to replace the amniotic bag. 

For a moment, the whole house went silent, Law and Nina both transfixed by the sight in front of them. The baby already had a mess of blonde hair on his head, leaving little to no doubt to who his father was. For Law it conjured bittersweet images, images of someone he used to know and loved like a father, in another life.

After a few moments, Law snapped back to reality, and used his powers to cut the umbilical cord, proceeding to check for any issues in the newborn before giving him to Nina. 

“I did everything I could,” he whispered, a hint of worry in his voice, “now, he has to scream.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Nina held her baby against her, cradling him softly. 

“Please,” she whispered, “please sweetheart please. Please scream. Please.” 

After what seemed like an eternity, loud screams and cries echoed in the house. Nina burst into tears, hugging her newborn baby, holding him carefully as if afraid to break him, humming the scent of his head, peppering kisses on his little face. 

She looked up at Trafalgar, who was sitting on the ground, catching his breath as well.

“Thank you” she whispered.

“No problem” he answered, and Nina could swear she saw him smile.

[ari-the-arotistic]

Guys, Hermes told them where to go to find the entrance of the underworld, and probably told them about Crusty, of course they know who he is, literally chill

[dreamstormdragon]

I need to put this here... just... wow

This makes me sick.

People are scary man

Sometimes being the mum who exists in fandom spaces leads to awkward, even concerning, conversations. Such as the one which happened this morning. The mum of my daughter's best mate asked me if one of their mutual friends had sent her a specific message. This message was a link to a fic on ao3, if this had been a G rated fic this conversation would not have happened. It was not G rated. It was an E rated fic. Our kids aren't even 12 yet. As it happens, both of our kids have their internet access heavily locked down and monitored. They have phones because of how their school manages homework. The mutual friend, however, is not so monitored. Or she wasn't, given what her mum found she's about to be. This kid had found a fandom, joined it, and found it chock full of antis. The fic had been sent to her by one of them as an example of the sort of terrible people out there who need to be harassed and attacked because they wrote a smutty story.

Someone thought it was appropriate to send written porn to an 11 year old to encourage her to attack the author.

This resulted in a very awkward conversation where I had to explain to multiple horrified parents the anti culture that is becoming so prevalent. The fact that there are adults who use that purity message to groom kids. The way they escalate and how it bleeds into real life. One parent told me she'd wondered why her 14 year old was suddenly concerned about the two year age gap between her parents. The more I explained, the more absolutely ludicrous it sounded and the more baffled these poor mums looked. More than once I was told "but the characters aren't real, it's really weird but it isn't hurting anyone". Which is the point. The fictional situation isn't hurting anyone. The person who sent porn to an 11 year old is.

Was the person who sent it the author? Doubtful, that thing was tagged in the extreme. Was the person who sent it an adult? Almost certainly. The parent who's child received the original message has found more concerning stuff and gone to the police, but from the language the person doing the sending was in the US. We aren't. Did my daughter receive it? No, she isn't interested in that fandom and therefore wouldn't have bothered with it. Is this the fault of the author? No, they didn't send the link, they didn't ask to be harassed, they wrote a story and put it on ao3, the website created in response to rampant censorship and designed to allow for all kinds of fiction. Is this the fault of the parents? Partially, they should have been looking at their daughter's internet use and clocked what was happening sooner. Is this the fault of the child? No, she's 11, she didn't know better.

This has been a difficult day. Multiple parents have had their eyes opened to parts of fandom culture they had no idea existed. And the thing of it is, they aren't concerned about the why of anti rhetoric. They don't care about the adults writing about teens or rape or incest or torture or any of the rest, because they looked at the clearly tagged and rated fics and figured that it worked the same as a warning on any streaming service. They only cared because some utterly vile individual decided to expose their child to something this girl might not have looked at for years.

Proshippers did not cause what I have spent afternoon helping several sets of parents navigate. Antis did. Normally I'm fairly quiet about the whole debate because I just want to get on with my life and share my experiences. Today I got dragged into that mess in my every day life and the adults in the equation didn't react the way Antis like to think they would. They didn't condemn the author. They condemned the anti who shared the work with a preteen.

[deadsnakey]

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒, 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋..𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄'𝐒.

𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐘!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐱 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐄

—> Being childhood best friends with both Mattheo and Theodore was an adventure on it's own. Although, what if they start acting more possessive and protective towards you once they develop feelings for you?

Thank you for requesting @slutsluvpaola - your ask here!💗

—> Childhood best friends to lovers trope, very fluffy, maybe a little suggestive, none toxic possessive behaviour & jealousy.

—> When you guys were kids, they were protective of you.

—> If anybody was messing with you or hurting you, they'd do something about it asap like it was on sight and they always left that person scared shitless to even go near you.

—> To the point where ppl just stopped fucking w u like they didn't have the balls to even try.

—> Cool now y'all are in Hogwarts and as they get older, they seem to be more handsy and possessive over you.

—> I mean you weren't complaining all that much. although, it would get annoying sometimes when you just wanted some space or to talk to someone or do something without them breathing down your damn neck.

—> But in third year you started getting feelings for mattheo, then Theodore a month later and you were so confused.

—> You kept the act up, just like they did, but eventually it got harder to pretend in fifth year.

—> When they were always hands on with you - hand on your thigh, holding your hand each, always sitting next to you every chance they got, pulling you into their laps randomly as they wrap their arms around your waist and nuzzle their faces in the crook of your neck.

—> Yeah, you were a goner.

—> The boys probably started falling for each other in the end of fourth year, so in fifth when they started liking you as well they too, were extremely confused .

—> Mattheo was bad especially because he's bad with his own emotions.

—> They will be at every party you're attending too, trust.

—> even if one can't make it and it's js Matty going w you or just Theo, one of them had to be with you.

—> It doesn't matter if you're in the same house or not, better marking on you tbh.

—> Mattheo hands on your waist behind you, Theodore in front of you holding one of your hands to guide you.

"c'mon, sweet girl, let's get some drinks at the bar." Mattheo said, letting Theodore lead the way. Mattheo got a cup, filled it with the drink you wanted before handing it to you. "Here, princess." Then repeating for Theodore and then himself. Satisfied, they go and find the rest of your friends; seemingly in the corner where the seats are, talking.

"look who finally came! The love birds of the group." Lorenzo snickered. "How about you go see if you can get into that girls pants, you know, the one you're practically eye fucking." Mattheo rolled his eyes as he sneered back. "I just might, mate."

You go to sit down when you feel hands clamp down on your hips from behind you, pulling you down with enough force to not hurt you. You look behind yourself, seeing Theo with a smirk pulling on his lips. You let him pull you into his lap.

Mattheo lights a cigarette and inhales deeply before exhaling. He silently offers it to Theodore as he blows the smoke out; Theo leaning in and inhaling the smoke, slightly touching Matty's lips as they make eye contact. Mattheo slithers his hand onto your thigh, you feel the warmth of his hand spread through your skin as you feel the few cold rings he has on mixing with the warmth.

He squeezes your thigh almost the same time Theo squeezes your waist, "you okay, pretty girl? Need anything?" You look at mattheo on your right, "no, I'm okay Matty. You?", "I'm okay. Now that I have you two here with me." He mumbles the last few parts of his sentence, a slight smile appearing onto his lips. Although, he knows you two still heard him.

—> sometimes their clinginess gets so bad where they will not let you get up for breakfast. Good luck convincing them to not miss all your classes as well lol.

—> they love cuddling you and each other but they'd never admit that.

—> they only cuddle each other if you're unavailable or not at school (holiday n stuff).

—> Tiny kisses to the back of your neck, forehead, nose and hand. It's a good excuse to kiss you and they love when you kiss them, too

—> Matty prefers his cheek or forehead kissed, while Theodore his neck, jaw or cheek.

—> tho it'd be better on the lips.

—> they go to the bathroom w you too.

—> they don't care it's the woman's bathroom, they will be guarding your stall!!!!💗💗💗 They can never be too sure.

Reblogs, likes & comments are much appreciated!🫶🏻

[verstarppen]

hear me out….. okay reader is famous and meeting fans,, a fan is wearing a top with like charles or max or whoever’s face on it and reader spots it and is like “…who is that😮‍💨” and the fans tell her and shes like “please show me their instagram” and then she follows whoever the guy you choose on ig,,, but one of the fans was recording the whole interaction qnd the video goes viral as well as a screenshot of readers ig following their account <3333 you can ignore i just thought this would be a good giggle type fic and your fics are my fav for giggling <33333

summary; your comic book signing takes a turn when a fan walks in wearing a t-shirt with a poorly photoshopped "charles lechair" or whoever that is

pairing; charles leclerc x fem! comic book artist! reader [ no faceclaim ]

a/n; this is for my charlie girlies i see your comments ladies and they make me smile im lurking and im stalking when you least expect it; all art used in this is by my lord and saviour dan mora if i could eat his artsyle i would

liked by charles_leclerc and 430,010 others

ynlantern thank you everyone who stopped by for a print or a sticker @ comic_con ! and if you haven't, i'm here for the next 2 days

view all 100,333 comments

orangleclerc HE'S IN THE LIKES Y'ALL

kirbyvettel can someone pls explain what's going on orangleclerc I'll DM you the video baconforza HEY I WANT TO KNOW TOO lionkingseb ffs please someone explain

egggrosjean I've never cared about anything superhero related but this whole situation made me look into your work, and I have to say it's amazing!!! Keep up the good work

roboclaren HE FOLLOWED HER BACK LMAO

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, ynlantern and 5,331,254 others

pierregasly He's great with kids and dogs

view all 1,699,314 comments

monte_carlos_55 STOP EMBARASSING HIM

verstoppen "My crush is coming act cool" My friends:

charles_leclerc What did I say

pierregasly I'm doing free promotion charles_leclerc You're talking a lot of shit for someone within bitch slap distance pierregasly Delete this, you're ruining my marketing strategy

scuderiaferrari It's true! He's actually a driver, strategist and team principal!

ynlantern isn't half of that your job? scuderiaferrari @ charles_leclerc Nevermind, we don't like her. charles_leclerc 😐

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 1,200,100 others

ynlantern i heard he solved world hunger or something

view all 800,121 comments

vertiddieenjoyer WAR IS OVER

ceruleanwilliams historians in 2294 trying to figure out what charles leclerc actually did and what the internet said he did to get him a date: 😰

pierregasly No need to thank me

honeyvettel the real main character

arthur_leclerc You did it. You crazy son of a bitch you did it.

charles_leclerc No swearing under her posts, please arthur_leclerc Yes, mom.

liked by ynlantern, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 2,474,551 others

charles_leclerc Round 2 :)

view all 505,041 comments

scuderiaferrari That was fast

carlossainz55 Unlike our pitstops scuderiaferrari You're getting distracted charles_leclerc Wish I could get distracted out of SF-23

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

blog taglist: @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr  (it's been a week and im already crying screaming throwing up without f1 help me)

[yaniluvs]

lingering touches and stolen kisses 日 ── ot8 [hyung line] skz ; how is pda with your boyfriend?

click to be directed to the maknae-line version !!

𓍯 hyung-line idol!skz ʚଓ fem!reader ：（ 𝒾 ）0.7k ── ༯ HEADCANONS, tooth rotting fluff, kisses, hugs, established relationship, req. by anon . ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY. /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི

yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ and she makes a comeback !! i'm sorry for the sudden infamous inactive era AGAIN, the past two weeks were well.. very busy and i wasn't in the right headspace at all, but i'm better now! i was also binge reading the powerless trilogy so.. maybe expect some fics about it too? thank y'all for 430 followers <3 and thanks to anon for the request, hope you like it! comments, requests, asks, likes and reblogs are always appreciated ! comment/ask if you want to be added to my mastertag ! happy reading <3

chris ୨୧ he is definitely the type who does not give two shits. he will kiss you whenever he wishes to; at the recording studio, when 3racha and maybe even rest of his members are recording for the coming album; in breaks; during practice when you come visit him, or when you’re at his shared dorm with jeongin. this man will not hesitate once to pull you onto his lap, and pressing light, feather kisses to your lips, cheeks, nose, forehead, with soft pats on your head or middle. however it’s hard to miss how adorable he looks when crimson rises up his cheeks, ears and neck, grin widening as deep chuckles leave his mouth- followed by a glare, because seungmin probably calls you two grandparents or just him, an old man. he will get shy and flustered when his members tease him — but that won’t stop him from fulfilling his wishes, after some giggling !! he needs to have his arm around you, or fingers lacing yours or his on your thigh, at all times. a simple act that helps him ground, knowing you’re there with him. and of course, he will keep a limit to the pda, not wanting to cringe out or distract his members — or get himself carried away with you.

minho ୨୧ this man is definitely a ruthless tease. you're around him and the members, he's leaning in close, your noses touching. the next thing you know, he flicks your nose with that stupid grin on his face, sprinting away to continue practicing or whatever it was that he was doing. but the teasing ends soon, as he just can't help but be beside you all the time. have his hand on your lower back, hips (living up to the butthunter title), or even holding your hands if you're lucky. he will fold but pretend to act nonchalant when you give him a peck on the cheek- or lips.

changbin ୨୧ okay hmo. he loves loves LOVES back hugs. it doesn’t matter if he’s on the giving or receiving end. he just loves them. also forehead kisses and cuddling even if it’s brief !!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is down bad for physical affection, definitely. having you on his lap, or his arms around your waist, and caressing your skin. pecks on the lips for sure. he won’t mind the others but he will get shy but a little when the members tease him or hyunjin feigns hurt of his wife leaving him; only for you to fluster your boyfriend more after another kiss. a big baby, always wanting to be close to you. (dying rn)

hyunjin ୨୧ he is such a romantic guy. when it comes to pda, i think he's definitely very touchy. in a good way; he might be back-hugging you, resting his chin on your head or shoulder, or leaving a ghost of a kiss at the back of your neck, under your hairline. probably also likes if your fingers are intertwined too, with him kissing your knuckles. he will not leave your side, at all !!!!!!!!! you're like his personal lucky charm. maybe during a break from practice, he'll be showing you the new choreo and maybe even teaching it to you so you to try it.. but i bet the two of you will get carried away, and will either be making out very intimately or start ballroom-dancing while giggling like elementary kids. he really loves you and will show it every minute !!

hyunjin ୨୧ he is such a romantic guy. when it comes to pda, i think he's definitely very touchy. in a good way; he might be back-hugging you, resting his chin on your head or shoulder, or leaving a ghost of a kiss at the back of your neck, under your hairline. probably also likes if your fingers are intertwined too, with him kissing your knuckles. he will not leave your side, at all !!!!!!!!! you're like his personal lucky charm. maybe during a break from practice, he'll be showing you the new choreo and maybe even teaching it to you so you to try it.. but i bet the two of you will get carried away, and will either be making out very intimately or start ballroom-dancing while giggling like elementary kids. he really loves you and will show it every minute !!

mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily

[formulawolff]

“you better.” — t.w.

pairing -> female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count -> idk y’all, my bad

warnings -> boss x employee dynamic, slight power imbalance, angst, cursing, gg being a little bit of a brat, toto being down bad (he would do anything for his woman, and he means it!), sexual innuendos, yadayadayada

a/n -> hiiiii it's me! i'm back with another gg x toto installment. i'm sorry if the writing is not my best, i've been a little rusty. this fic was a request idea sent to me a few weeks ago. anon, this one is for you! i hope y'all enjoy reading about them! <3

"god fucking damnit!"

blood roars in his ears as her helmet collides against the wall, forming a sizable dent. paint chips flutter to the floor, the figure inhaling a sharp breath as curses roll from her tongue, the driver pacing back and forth.

"fuck, fuck, fuck!"

the figure's jaw clenches as her arm sweeps along the nearest table, sending items flying in her wake.

all right, that was it.

the final straw.

time to intervene.

"you need to cut it out. you're acting like a child. you of all people know tantrums get you nowhere."

at his sentiment, her head swivels, nothing but pure, fiery rage flickering about in her stare. strands of hair are plastered to her forehead, her lip curling into a sneer.

"your orders cost me two positions. it cost me a podium this weekend. i think i deserve to be a little upset about it."

"it's only the beginning of the season, love," toto wolff tuts, folding his arms across his chest, "you have time to make up for it. you have so much time to win the title."

at his statement, she pauses, her brows furrowing together. he can sense her fury dissolving by the second, her rigid muscles relaxing as her shoulders slump. silence creeps in as she crosses over to the couch, curling up in the fetal position.

to put it lightly, it was a tough opening weekend in melbourne.

not only did she have to deal with the wake of the loss to max, she had difficulty familiarizing herself with the new car. the media was in a frenzy, circling around like vultures every single time she moved or spoke. fuck, she could barely even breathe without a microphone close by.

toto couldn't imagine how draining it must have been to deal with it all. there was an instance over the weekend where a reporter inquired about their sex life. following that, there were numerous questions involving when he was going to propose, when they were planning on having kids, and if she would retire if they had children.

she executed a brilliant drive during qualifying, managing to snag the third position on the grid, just behind lando and max. if all went according to plan, she would be able to push past lando at the start of the race, and be able to battle it out with max for the victory.

at the start of the race, she drove beautifully. she was able to surge ahead and get past both max and lando, sailing into the first position.

it was going perfectly until lap twenty-three, where there was a mishap with the steering. following the error came a miscommunication with strategy. although toto knew the tires would last a few more laps, it was not his call to bring her in to the pits.

the pit crew was not quite ready, fumbling with two of the tires. it was a painfully slow stop, her radios reflecting exactly how toto felt about the fiasco.

the call for the early pit ultimately cost her three positions, which ended up crushing her hopes of a podium on opening weekend.

following the race, she exchanged some heated words with the media. something along the lines of, "fuck off or you're going to feel that boom mic up your ass." of course, that sent social media into a frenzy.

so, when she decided to release some pent up emotions in her driver's room after the race, toto let her.

he couldn't blame her, really. this weekend was an absolute shit show.

yet, he knew they had to move forward from it. the helmet could be replaced. the dent in the wall could be patched. the team strategy could be tweaked.

there was nothing he wanted more than to just wrap her up in his arms, bringing her tightly against his chest. he ached to just hold her, murmuring all of the reassurances she needed to hear. he yearned to just pepper her beautiful face with endless kisses, just to hear that melodic giggle ring in his ears.

he couldn't though.

at least, not yet.

the team principal stays put, waiting until she gives him the cue.

it wouldn’t be verbal. it would be the way her body would shift toward him, inviting him over. it would be the way her arms would droop, begging to be held.

it wouldn’t be too much longer. any minute now.

as expected, she practically sinks into the couch, pleading for some sort of comfort.

there it was, that cue he was desperately waiting for.

he strolls over, settling into the cushion next to her, wrapping an arm around her frame.

"i-i just wanted to get a head start," there's a tug at his heart as her voice falters, "i wanted to prove to everyone that i could compete with max this time. i just wanted to win a fucking race after what happened last ye-"

"my love," the team principal exhales, a tender hand connecting with her back, just between her shoulder blades, "you have to keep your head up. you are not a failure just because you didn't finish on that podium. you are not defined by what happened last season. things are different now, so much more different."

in the light, he catches the gleam of a tear as it rolls down her cheek, "i just know they're all talking about me. they want nothing more than to see me lose. i just wanted to prove them wrong."

"we have so much time do that," his voice is barely a murmur, "we will make you a champion, my sweet girl. don't worry about what they all think. focus on me. focus on us. focus on how we can correct our mistakes."

the tears are flowing now, the streams glistening as she sits up, pressing her body against his. her head nuzzles into his chest, lashes fluttering as his hand begins to roam, gently kneading into her sore muscles.

"i-i'm sorry."

the words are merely a whisper, but toto hears them.

"why are you apologizing, sweet girl?"

"for acting like a brat," she still won't meet his gaze, her eyes fixated on the door, "i shouldn't have thrown my helmet."

the team principal hums, his fingers treading along the zipper of her suit, "it's all right, love. i think you should do it again, actually."

"stop it," she huffs, rolling her eyes, "you just thought my little outburst was hot."

"quite," his mouth ghosts over her ear, "take that anger out on me, actually. you know, you're quite sexy when you're all riled up."

"maybe i will." the corners of her lips twitch, and toto can't help but feel a twinge of satisfaction.

she was fighting a smile, and fuck, was she fighting one hard.

carefully, she swings a thigh over his lap, straddling him as the tip of her nose brushes against his, "maybe i will take my anger out on you, toto. i want you to do something first, though."

in his khakis, he feels his cock stiffen, his throat tightening as she leans in even closer, "w-what is it, my love?"

fuck, he did he loathe how much power she held over him.

she cocks her head, a hand drifting to his cheek. her thumb trails along his cheekbone, relishing the way he completely crumbles under her touch.

"i want you to inform the fia that i will not be participating in any press for the next three races. will you do that for me?”

“sweet girl, you know i can’t do that—“

“please?” he can’t help but notice the way her bottom lip juts out ever so slightly.

all it would take is for her to bat those lashes once, and he would be done for.

and to his dismay, she does just that, “i just can’t handle the press right now. it’s too much and—“

“consider it done, my love. a statement will be out by the morning.”

“good boy,” she purrs, pressing her forehead against his, “you’re the best.”

“anything you want or need, it will be handled. i can promise you that. i will do everything in my power to make sure that you become champion.”

her lips press against his, a shiver running down his spine as she smirks, rolling her hips. it takes everything in his power to stifle a groan as her fingers delve into the waistband of his khakis, his cock throbbing.

she has him right where she wants him, but he doesn’t mind.

not. at. all.

she was his princess, after all.

and what his princess wanted, she got.

it only takes four words for him to come undone, any coherent thoughts slipping from his mind as her hand wraps around his shaft, his breaths coming out in pants.

“you better, toto wolff.”

[why4anne]

Juno

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Pop star Y/N L/N cannot behave herself on social media. But who can blame her when her boyfriend looks like that?

Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter

Masterlist

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, taylorswift and others

yourusername: Just a little something I wrote recently🤭

Juno out tonight 8pm EST

view comments:

user1: Girlie is finally releasing music again?? Album when???

user2: Pop is back!

user3: you'll find me SCREAMING

user4: Juno?? Like the goddess of love and marriage..?

- user5: Wait! You're onto something!!!!

- user6: y'all what if she means the movie

- user7: what movie?

- user6: Dang, you're making me feel old

taylorswift: They're not ready for it

- user8: TAYLOR????? HELLOOOO??

- user9: REP TV REFERENCE!!!

- user10: easter egg??!!!

- user 11: girl that's a whole easter basket

joeyb_9: nice dress

- user12: excuse me? sir?

- user13: I just know they're up to something

lahjay10_: Joe has not stopped smiling all morning practice

- user14: It's about him then???

- user15: He's giggling and kicking his feet I just know it

user16: Joe can you fight??

- joeyb_9: yes I can

- user16: oop- I was not expecting that

- user17: he gagged you fr

user18: I don't know if I wanna be her, or be with her

- user19: the struggle is real

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, zendaya and others

yourusername: oops... wrong pic🤭 Juno out now btw

view comments:

user1: you're this thirsty on main????!!!!

user2: girl calm down

user3: NOW THATS WHAT I CALL AN OVULATION SONG

user4: I'm actually speechless after listening to this...

- user5: No becuase WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARK YOUR TERRITORY???!!

user5: hold me and explore me??? GIRL!

user6: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONTROL MY GIRL Y/N

- user7: we need to spay her frfr

user8: tf you mean freaky positions???

user9: I mean, have you seen her man??? I don't blame her

- user10: The only pop-girlie with a hot boyfriend I fear

- user11: Louis Partridge exists yk

user12: I was gonna say you swan🦢 he frog🐸 but I fear can't

user13: how are you able to look your parents in the eyes after this girl???

user14: She and Joe be freaky like that ig

joeyb_9: I feel honored

- user15: YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!!

- user16: did not expect this when I woke up this morning

- user17: Joe, are you well???

user18: I always knew they were freaky

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, milliebobbybrown and others

yourusername: One of me is cute, but two though?

Surprise! Double whammy you guys 34+35 out now!

view comments:

user1: SHE'S INSANE!

user2: nah what do you mean 34+35??? you freakyyyyy!!!

user3: tf you mean "got the neighbors yelling earthquake"????

user4: What kind of freak-juice do they put in the water in Cincinnati?

user5: Let me breath, damn. I haven't even recovered from Juno yet

joeyb_9: I can make sure that there is two of you by this time next year

- yourusername: I just might let you🤭

- lahjay10_: BRING BACK SHAME!!!!

- jjettas2: NORMALIZE BULLYING!!!

- user6: Ja'marr?? Justin?? hello???

- user7: I stand with Justin and Ja'marr because writing this on main is CRAZY

- user8: WE NEED TO PUT BOTH JOE AND Y/N IN HORNY JAIL!

user9: That's enough screen time for you missy

user10: THESE LYRICS ARE CRAZYYYY

- user11: They're not even trying to be subtle

user12: Didn't Joe say in one interview that he goes to bed by like 8pm. Tf you mean "we started at midnight, go 'til the sunrise"??

- user13: One of them is lying and I think it's the blonde one

- user14: both of them are blonde

- user13: @/youmissedthejoke

user15: yall are acting like this is sum crazy shit but if I had a boyfriend who looked like that I would be acting WAYYYY worse

- user16: FR! Like if I looked like Y/N and my bf looked like Joe, you would not be catching us leaving the house

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, alix_earle and others

yourusername: Have you ever tried this one?

view comments:

user1: Ma'am there are kids on this app

joeyb_9: yeah we did it last night, remember?

- yourusername: no, can you remind me😇

- lahjay10_: EW EW EW EW EW

- lahjay10_: THAT'S ENOUGH!

- lahjay10_: I NEED BLEACH FOR MY EYES

- lahjay10_: I'M TELLING MANAGEMENT!!

- lahjay10_: THIS IS AN HR ISSUE

- user2: is Ja'marr okay?

- user3: He's crashing out

- user4: bro is tweaking

user5: we can try it out if you want to🤭

- joeyb_9: She's busy

- user6: we need lock him up or something

- yourusername: would handcuffs suffice?

- user7: EXCUSE ME!!???

- user8: Girl this is a public comment section!

- user9: Saying that on Beyonce's internet is CRAZY

user10: looked at myself and sighed

user11: girl, who is in charge of your social media??

user12: we need to lobotomize her or something

lahjay10_:

liked by teehiggins, andreiiosivas and others

lahjay10_: The trenches look a little different when you in the inside of the Spectre.

view comments:

user1: #unblocky/n

user2: #unblocky/n

user3: #unblocky/n

user4: #unblocky/n

joeyb_9: #unblocky/n

- user5: help- not Joe joining us

- user6: y/n is this you?

- joeyb_9: Nope, this is actually Joe

- user7: I can't with this man😭

lahjay10_: aight what the hell is going on?

- user8: #unblocky/n

- user9: #unblocky/n

yourusername: I'VE BEEN UNBLOCKED!!🥳

- user10: welcome back queen

- lahjay10_: hope you happy now

- yourusername: the happiest😁

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, andreiiosivas and others

yourusername: AAAAAAAHHHH! JOE BURROW PLEASE PUSH ME UP A WALL AND THROW ME ACROSS THE ROOM! I wanna climb this man like a tree. I wanna gnaw on his biceps like a beaver and I wanna scratch his back like a goddamn feral cat!

view comments:

user1: is she okay?

user2: I can just tell that she's ovulating

user3: well you can actually do that if you want to #wearenotthesame

user4: on main is CRAZY

user5: I didn't realize this was Y/N's account, deadass thought it was a horny fan-account💀

joeyb_9: That can be arranged

- user6: He's so nonchalant with it😭

- user7: I know I should be used to this by now but at the same time his comments never fails to flabbergast me

- user8: Remember when we used to have shame?

- jjettas2: pause.

user9: Yall are calling her crazy but she's so real for this

user10: I can't with this girl💀

andreiiosivas: are you okay?

- user11: Help not Andrei lowkey being concerned😭

- user12: She just ovulating, don't worry

[This post has been deleted]

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_ and others

yourusername: Juno is now number one on the Billboard hot 100! Thank you so much to everyone who streamed🩵

view comments:

user1: this caption does not sound like my girl Y/N

user2: where is crazy Y/N?

user3: did you get your social media hacked or sum?

user4: I think her team took her social media away😭

- user5: yeah cuz her last (extremely unhinged) post was deleted too

- user6: Noooooo! I lived for Y/N's posts

- user7: me too girl😔

user8: I'll miss you diva💜

user9: #wewanty/n

- user10: #wewanty/n

- user11: #wewanty/n

- user12: #wewanty/n

user13: congratulations, but please give my girl back her account

user14: The biggest sign that this isn't Y/N is that Joe didn't comment

- user15: fr! he always comments on her posts

- user16: he's silent protesting💀

lahjay10_: I can finally scroll on instagram without getting a jumpscare🙏 I used to pray for times like this!

- user17: Ja'Marr😭

- user18: Bro rejoicing💀

joeyb_9:

liked by lahjay10_, sam_hubbard_ and others

joeyb_9: Since someone got her social media privileges taken away, I had to be the one to post this photo of her because she said: "I look cute in this photo, the world deserves to witness it"

view comments:

user1: get yourself a man who posts you on his instagram when you can't!

user2: she was right, I had to witness this🙂‍↕️

user3: mother is mothering!!!

lahjay10_: you down bad bro

- joeyb_9: and?

- user4: THAT'S A MAN!

- user5: I swear my pants were JUST on

jjettas2: what happened to the social media break?

- joeyb_9: boyfriend duties called

- user6: When he breaks his social media break for you>>

user7: Thank you for blessing us like this🙏

user8: I am straight, I am straight, I am straight

user9: Joe is so lucky😔

- user10: He gets to wake up to this everyday😫

- joeyb_9: It's a pretty sweet sight ngl

- user 11: STOP😭

- user12: bro be reading all the comments

- joeyb_9: gotta make sure only nice things are said

- user13: stop that's so cute🥹

One year later:

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, jjettas2 and others

yourusername: I let him make me Juno

view comments:

joeyb_9: Prettiest mommy in the whole world ❤️

user1: OMG I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT!

user2: mother is a real mother???

user3: Those unhinged posts actually led to this???

user4: CONGRATS!!!!

jjettas2: Congratulations you two! So happy for you!

teehiggins: QB loading...

lahjay10_: Blessed to be baby Burrow's uncle🙏

sam_hubbard_: Congratulations!❤️

andraiiosivas: The best parents!

user5: when mama y papa actually become mama y papa🥲

[loviestar58]

💚~Ekko bf/general HC's Pt 2~💚

I had thought of more Hc's for Ekko and y'all seemed to enjoy the last one (more than I thought, honestly-) so I thought why not share more of them?

So here's some more of our favorite time boy!

Enjoy‼️💖

⏳~He definitely has a small collection of bonnets that he's either stolen, found, or had a fellow Firelight make for himself. He can make his own as well, but with limited sewing supplies, it's hard to do so. He started off just using any random piece of fabric he could find

⏳~He let's you help him with his retwists when it's the inevitable time to do them. If you don't know how to do retwists, he'll happily teach you, taking you step by step on what to do and what not to do, being very patient with you cause he knows it can seem like a lot to some people

⏳~Building off the last one, I do think he may be a bit tender headed. Not too bad, but if you do pull his hair a bit too hard when doing his retwists, he will groan in pain and squirm. He makes sure you don't feel bad about it though, unless you're doing it on purpose, then he'll keep squirming and trying to get you to stop all while feigning anger. He'd definitely get you back for that

⏳~Can blush really easily and gets bashful/flustered easily as well. If you start to make moves on him, he will be caught off guard. He's never had much experience in romance or these feelings, so he doesn't really know how to act on them, at least at the start of a relationship. He'd get more confident as time goes on, but that doesn't mean he still won't blush at a sudden flirtatious comment or sudden PDA he wasn't expecting, especially in public

⏳~Personally, I don't believe he's the jealous type. He may get a bit annoyed that you're spending less time with him and more with others, but it's not because he's jealous, he just likes spending time with you and having you near him. He'd be very confident in your relationship and bond, and would trust you wholeheartedly, letting you be your own person and go and do whatever you want.

⏳~He's not controlling at all, since he's all about freedom, he trusts you to take care of yourself and again, be your own person. That doesn't mean he isn't protective of you. He'll always be there to help and defend you if you need it, but only when he sees you're really struggling. He's especially protective on missions, always keeping an eye on you or having a buddy with you so your safety is more assured, but it's not overbearing

⏳~I firmly believe that Ekko loves to dance as evidenced by S2Ep7. I think he's more into interpretive dance or just following the beat of the music, following the music's lead. If you two dance together it'd be very much like that episode, or it could be more chaotic and you two will rule the dance floor with both of your sick moves. I also think he'd be really really good at breakdancing, have you seen how agile he is?

⏳~One of his favorite past times if it isn't a busy day at the base is to hang out with the kids. He'd play games with them, tell them stories from books or make up his own, and absolutely have hover board races with them (which you would join in on sometimes)

⏳~He can sing. Don't even try to tell me he can't. He would have a real smooth voice able to harmonize easily with people. If you can sing, better believe you two would be duetting often at random points when you're together. He would adore your voice. Even if you can't sing, he'd appreciate your humming with him. Puts the kids to sleep with his voice sometimes, especially if they have nightmares

⏳~Speaking of nightmares, he definitely has those way fairly often. Can you blame him? After thinking he lost everyone he loved, and believing it was his fault for years, it'd take it's toll. He'll toss and turn and even mumble in his sleep on rare occasions before he'd shoot up in bed, clutching his chest. Sometimes he'd yell out a name or a command to stop when he wakes up, which would wake you up if you're next to him. Comfort him, hug him close to you and whisper reassurances, he'll relax in no time. If it's a particularly bad nightmare, he'll stay up and try to do some work to distract himself, unable (or afraid) to go back to sleep.

Some of these I had to do research on, mostly for the hair ones, as I am not black and didn't want to get some things wrong with how his hair would be taken care of. If I missed something or got something wrong, please let me know!🙏🏼

Hope y'all enjoyed!💖

[starboye]

pairing: ryan reynolds x male reader

request: Ryan Reynolds x Male reader smut where Ryan goes to sleepover at a friends house, and the friends son (Reader) keeps teasing him the whole time, when everyone is asleep Ryan sneaks into the readers room and fucks him 🙌

warnings: smut, face fucking, deep throat, age difference (reader is 20 ryan is his age), cursing, rough sex, slight degrading, pet names (really just good boy), breeding kink, teasing, lil daddy kink

a/n: can y'all tell i became an absolute slut with this???

you always had a crush on your dads friend aka ryan reynolds but you never ever acted on it, you were just to nervous to approach the man, his large stature and intimidating demeanor were just to much for you to handle, but tonight you were feeling especially confident, you put on you favorite pair of shorts that rose up a little to much on your ass and a tight shirt to show off your waist and torso.

the moment ryan walked through the door his eyes glued to your body, watching the way you ass would jiggle with every step you took and how your hips swayed as you walked "fuck" he thought to himself as he could feel his dick hardening "hey whats up man" your dad greets him "h-hey" ryan stammers, his eyes still glued to you.

"you alright" he questions "yeah im great" ryan replies finally stopping staring at you "well grab a beer and meet me in the living room, the games almost on" your dad says before walking to the living room, ryan makes his way into the kitchen where you are standing in front of the fridge.

"hey kid can you get me a beer" ryan asks with a slightly demanding tone "sure thing" you say in a chipper tone before opening the fridge and bending over to grab the beer, your ass inches away from ryans dick, he bites down on his lip at the wonderful sight in front of him, wanting to grab your ass so bad but he resists.

"here you go mr reynold" you say turning around and handing him the beer "thanks kid" he mummers walking away not wanting to stay any longer and risk grabbing you right there and fucking you till he came in your ass, you walked into the living room watched as your dad and ryan tuned into the football game "do you guys need anything" you speak up over the loud volume of the tv.

"yeah can you throw this away for me" your dad asks pointing at some beers, you walk over to the coffee table and pick up the beer cans before looking up to ryan "do you need anything mr reynold" you ask in a soft voice but with a hint of flirting, looking him deeply in the eyes as you lick your plump lips slowly.

"n-no im alright" ryan says trying to not get a boner but ultimately fails and puts a throw pillow over his lap after you walk away, after an hour or so your dad falls asleep on the couch and ryan makes his way to your room filled with one single purpose on his mind, to fuck you like the slut you act like.

you hear a knock at your door and get up to open it, as soon as you open it ryan makes his way in and kisses you, leading you too the bed before laying you onto it "you wanna be a slut right, so im gonna fuck you like one" ryan says deeply as he takes his pants and underwear off "strip now" he orders and you get up and strip completely naked.

"come here" he snaps his fingers and orders you to get in front of him, you follow orders and kneel in front of him, he slaps his thick cock against your cheek "open up that throat pretty boy" he says, and you open your mouth tongue out and await his dick, he leans your head back and spits into your mouth before sliding his dick into your mouth.

you struggle for a little but with some encouraging words from ryan you take it all the way down your throat, you nose deep in ryans pubes, inhaling every bit of his scent "yeah you're doing so well for me baby" ryan says throwing his head back, you watch as his muscles contort with all his movement, your eyes glossed with a layer of water from the brewing tears.

ryan pulls you off his dick after some time and you cough harshly "dont be to loud now, you wouldn't want your old man to hear me ruining you" he warns before sinking your mouth back on his dick, gagging and gurgling noises could be heard throughout the room as you could feel your throat get stretched out by ryans thick meat.

just before ryan cums he pulls out your mouth and tells you to get on the bed, you do as your told and get on the bed hands and knees with your back arched "good slut" ryan mutters "now youre gonna be really quiet while i fuck you right" ryan asks lining himself up with your hole "yes" you say desperately "yes what" he asks harshly slapping your ass "yes sir" you whine wincing at the pain.

ryan slides into you easily with the mess you made on his cock "yeah so tight for me" ryan says bringing your ass back and forth on his dick as you moan out, a loud moan escapes your lips and ryans harshly smacks your ass "what the fuck did i say" ryan questions in a rough voice turning your face to look at him "dont make a sound" you shyly say.

"right so since you dont wanna listen, dont make a single fucking sound at all" he orders shoving his underwear into your mouth as a makeshift gag "now take this dick like a good boy" ryan says as he resumes his hard pace, you drop your head onto the mattress and muffledly moan as you feel like your hole is getting ripped apart and soon after you cum all over the bed.

"came all over and you didnt even touch yourself, such a nasty slut arent you" he grunts watching you go dumb around his dick "and getting tighter is see, want this load so much, want me to impregnate you with my cum" he asks with a chuckle feeling you get tighter and tighter with each pound, you nod eagerly wanting his cum in you and after a few more thrusts ryan cums in you, load after load you could feel the cum spurt into your walls.

"call me later if you want some more" ryan says grabbing his underwear from your mouth and putting them on along with his pants and he walks back o the living room where he plops back onto the couch, cock still tingling a little from the rough fuck that will definitely leave you sore in the morning but at least you finally got to fuck your crush after many years.

[renthony]

Tobacco users aren't dirty or stupid, and some of y'all are deeply poisoned by DARE-style propaganda.

Even from people who are supposedly "supportive" of addicts and users, I see so much hateful vitriol toward smokers, as if nicotine addiction is somehow The Worst Kind, and it's okay to target them as Terrible Monsters, even from people who should know better.

"But I have TRAUMA--" Trauma doesn't give you the right to be cruel to every single smoker in the world. It does not give you the right to assume the worst of every single smoker you meet.

"But they pollute my air--" Designated smoking spots in public areas have been a thing for decades now, and I have never met a single smoker who wasn't perfectly willing to move to another location to smoke, as long as they are asked respectfully and not treated like criminals or monsters just for smoking. If you approach a smoker and treat them like a criminal and act like they're intentionally trying to poison you, they have every right to get annoyed at you. And if an individual smoker is a dick about it? That's still the individual, not smokers as a whole.

"But it sets off my asthma--" This is what is known as a "competing access need." Smokers deserve space to smoke, because drug withdrawal is severe and is a legitimate medical issue. Non-smokers and those with respiratory issues deserve smoke-free air. Two things can be true at once, and the answer is not, "so we dehumanize smokers!" Also, y'all may be shocked to learn this, but there are asthmatic smokers. I know several. Using asthmatics as a gotcha against smokers is not productive or kind to either group.

"But tobacco companies--" Are not the individual smokers, and are not responsible for tobacco companies' actions. Blaming Joe Schmoe Smoker for the actions of Big Tobacco is the exact same as blaming someone for climate change because they bought a pack of Walmart-brand hamburgers. Not only is it not effective, it doesn't target the core issue, and it's a douchebag thing to do.

"But it's bad for you--" Suicide and self-harm are worse, and cigarettes are the only thing keeping some people alive. Blame the system, not the individual.

"But vaping is obnoxious and bad for kids--" Vaping originated as a way to help people stop smoking, and it is not the fault of individuals that vaping became another predatory industry. Removing access to vapes, which are commonly still used as a tool for addicts to help quit, is not the fucking answer.

Stop being cruel to smokers and pretending you're progressive for it. Unlearn the DARE propaganda, kill the cop in your head, and recognize that someone's humanity is not dependent on their drug habits.

[n3ptoonz]

BEGGING you to make more sub mk men content 😭 they're always dom in all the other hc's and it's refreshing to see something that's my cup of tea lol

oh? like this? throws this post behind me like a bouquet toss earthrealm guys here

mk1 hcs: how the outworld guys react to you riding them

y'all sure do love headcanons LMFAOO

i always try my best for most of the outworld cast cause i'm truly an earthrealm girly, but i got yall. yall really challenge me 😵‍💫

Shang Tsung

This sly mf. He thought when you suggested riding, he'd be the one watching you writhe, but it's quite the opposite. Little did you know it was all an act. A fib; fairytale. He wants power, of course, but in the bedroom it's entirely different

Nothing will get him to submit fast than treating him like a common harlot. He's in desperate need of hair pulling, degradation, maybe even act like you're trying to kill him. He's into that shit! He's an aggressive man, so he should be treated as such

I'm talking fully dog this man out while you ride him. It'll drive him mad and make him crave it. Hell, slap him around and call him names and his gasps, groans, and deep whimpers will clear the air in no time! If you add small weapons to the mix or like a role play thing it's ON

He's literally the meme "don't bully me i'll cum" so do with that what you will!

Rain

Rain sexy ass...OOF. That smug "i am a demigod" attitude is punted out the window when you ride him. One single stroke of his hair and a caress of the jaw and just like that he's a slut!

Give him praises. He wouldn't handle degradation too well. On the outside he appears to have his shit together and doesn't have a care in the world about anybody else but his studies (and you), but he likes to be taken care of

If you want to be rougher or if he asks you to, really just pull his hair/give him love bites. idk it might just be me but i just wanna bite him sooo we're gonna say he likes bites! He's also super handsy but mostly when he's close

He's not very vocal but when he is i can see him as the kinda man that like...purrs, if that makes sense? If it don't i say he's a grunter and from groan city: population him

Reiko

Reiko has a hard time being submissive, but you just make it a little easier for him. You kinda have to coax him into it before every time you get intimate because he's made it clear he can do both and wants to try submitting more to the person he loves

It was your suggestion after a long time away for a mission. Poor dude was stressed da hell out! He's like Rain, a sucker for praise. Now that i'm really picturing it he'd prob be down to smother his face into your chest cause like, that's hot to him

When he's feeling particularly spicy definitely tie him down so he can't pull free no matter how much brute strength he uses. Hold his face and never break eye contact, he's all yours! If you call him any name that has the word "strong" in it he's like puddy in your hands

Prime grunt man here. He ain't whimpering unless you deny him of something, even then it goes from a coarse tone to soft

General Shao

Siiggghhhh 🙄 Shao likes the riding position the most. That's all thanks for coming to my Ted talk

LOL JUST KIDDING😹 He would appear like he's incapable of submission but like, this is YOU we're talking about. And he'd do anything for you. Literally.

A little birdy told me he loves when you grab his horns. Grab his horns. Grab them and make him look at you. This unbreakable wall of man yearns to be conquered by someone like you. Someone who dared to challenge him and never back down? By the Gods he has a breeding knk whether you can have kids or not. oh yeah, he'd beg. plead. he's gasping for air like pls just don't stop riding him LMAO he needs his mind off taking the throne for a few hours

whimpering little bitch which eventually turn into growls and grunts. takes a bow

Reptile

Syzoth is so subby I literally cannot picture him dominating a soul. Ashrah got that man on hold fr but anyway this about you

Typa dude to tear up when you ride him. You just look so damn good, and you make him feel so damn good. Dizzy eyes that he can barely keep open; I feel like he'd go brain numb from how fast he feels pleasure

I'm talking like because he's not originally human he's more sensitive. Now hear me out guys...two dicks....AHEM. DONT SHOOT THE MESSENGER!! Both his dicks are very sensitive OHHHHHHHHH Reduce him to a sobbing, stuttering, gasping, mess. He needs it, wants it, loves it. It's up to you if you'd ride him in his og form ya nasty. He'd also have a tendency to leave bite marks on you like your chest, neck, and shoulders

Mister whimper over here there's nothing else he does but whimper and cry jesus almighty somebody give this man a HUG (hug him while you fuck him dumb/busts)

Havik

Banging my head against the wall rn lemme tap in...ok we here let's go.

Another kombatant who peruses power, but also very much attracted to it. He definitely likes to be dominated. He'd be into some real kinky shit too i know it. Literally all the above he don't wanna think about SHIT

He would thoroughly enjoy being completely helpless at your disposal as you ride him. He likes degradation more than praises but if you do give him the kind of praise that inflates his already massive ego. shoot down his arrogance while also maintaining it he fucking lives for it. he likes being choked or slapped too keep that in mind

This bitch growls and that's it. bro ain't got the lips to really make different sounds LMAO?? get yo fuckin dog bitch!!!

Baraka

You might be insane but we love that haha...! Monster fucker certificate checked at the door i understand i do

Absolutely no degradation here DO NOT!! Mf might start crying or give a monologue either way, steer clear. Be nice to him!!

He likes to be held, and he likes holding his partner. If this was confident Baraka from the previous timeline I'd say he likes fast and crazy over slow and romantic but that's not the case. Be immersed and in the moment with him, he clings onto the human interactions he got stripped from him 😞

Growls but that's mostly bc he deadass don't have lips either LMFAO😭

a/n: tearing my skin off rn I DID IT GUYS I DID IT TELL ME IM GREAT😎author likes praise too.

[love-belle]

take a look at my girlfriend !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's everything and he's just her proud boyfriend.

or

for when they're your everything. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - when i said i was back on my writing grind i MEANT it

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, lukehemmings and 682,826 others

yourusername his cringe behaviour has me captivated

5,987 comments

username MOTHER?????

username not my wife trying to soft launch man what is this

username THE LAST SLIDE??????? HELLO??????? WHAT THE FUCK

username im.

username the first photo i died y'all

-> username she can break me in half and i'll thank her js saying

francisca.cgomes the first photo, i am looking (respectfully)

-> yourusername it's there only for u bébé

username SHE'S SO ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username rockstar gf

username i want her sooooooo bad

username babe drop his @ we won't hurt him i swear

-> username damn who's we

-> username right like im gonna curb stomp that mf

username y/n i thought u were for the girls and the gays ://///

-> yourusername i am dw child

lukehemmings tell your bf to stop spamming us, we CANNOT give him a private concert at 4 in the morning

-> yourusername he just wants to hear she looks so perfect

-> lukehemmings basic bitch

-> landonorris WOAH OKAY

*comment deleted*

username lando in the likes i see u pineapple boy

username we lost her huh

username this has devastated me (im so happy for her)

username never though i'd see y/n soft launch her relationship 😭😭😭

landonorris nah i think he's kinda cool

-> yourusername he's okay

-> landonorris just okay???

-> yourusername no he's more than that

-> landonorris go on 😏

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-> landonorris 😐

-> username WHAT IS GOING ON

-> username did i miss a whole fucking chapter or something.

username thinking thots rn

username if i lose my wife to a vroom vroom mutation i will literally get so violent

username babe it's okay ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ u can come home now ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ kids and the cats missed u ❤️❤️❤️❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, carmenmmundt and 796,451 others

landonorris my girl my girl my girl

7,982 comments

username SORRY WHAT

username IM GONNA CRY

username oh my god

username ngl that looks like y/n

-> username now that ur saying it................

-> username no.

-> username i refuse to accept it

username THE CAT

-> username not trying to alarm anyone but that looks like y/n's cat

-> username fr like u cannot tell me that it's NOT marshmallow

-> username SO off topic but i love that fact that y/n (🖤🗿🎱🎧📼) named her cat marshmallow (💓🍧🍬💒🧶)

username i simply refuse to accept that im losing both of my parasocial relationships

carlossainz55 trust us, we KNOW

-> landonorris you're gonna continue to do so :D

-> username lando using ":D" WHO GOT HIM LIKE THAT

username just wanna know who's love got him singing we fell in love in october

username if that's y/n then im giving up :)

charles_leclerc i want that cat

-> landonorris it's yours i hate that demon

-> username NAHHH NOT LANDO SHITTING ON MY CHILD

-> username 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺 stay back 🤺🤺🤺 i will protect marshmallow with my life 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

username lando norizz is proving to be kinda wrong here haha

username i just know he's down BAD for her

lilymhe the only reason i follow you is cause of your gf

-> landonorris unfollow me NOW

-> lilymhe no.

username this is y/n idc let me be delulu

-> username no bc i kinda agree with u like

-> username I KNOW LIKE THESE PHOTOS ARE SO Y/N CORE

yourusername need to adopt that cat asap

-> landonorris that's not a cat, that's whatever was let out of pandora's box

-> yourusername boy i will block u

-> username NOT Y/N ACTING LIKE THAT'S NOT HER CAT

-> username honestly give up y'all we KNOW

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

landonorris added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 778,427 others

yourusername an idiot but i love this idiot

tagged landonorris

6,927 comments

username I FUCKING KNEW OMG

username THEY'RE SO

username i love them sm what the fuck

username honestly my favs

username IM SO HAPPY AHJSJSJSSJJSJS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username "men r bad men are nasty but this one is ok" she's so real for this

-> username my queen spoke nothing but facts

-> username this is so y/n of y/n

lilymhe an idiot (derogatory)

-> yourusername an idiot (affectionate)

-> landonorris how about you both stop calling me an idiot??? how's that???

username he's so bf omg

username lando norris i am in your walls

-> username im under his bed

-> username im hiding behind his door

-> username im in the closet

-> username we love u ❤️

-> username i meant literally u dumbfuck

-> username oh

-> username stfu i am in his bathroom

-> landonorris i am unsafe

username this is so chaotic and im here for every minute of it

username FUCK YEAH SOFT LAUNCHES ARE OVERRATED ANYWAYS

danielricciardo you should've seen the look of panic on his face, truly a sight to behold

-> yourusername his 2628182837 texts saying "i done fucked up" kinda gave me an idea

username < them 3

username do y'all need a dog??? i can bark

usernames SOMEONE GET ME A BF RN ISTG

carmenmmundt cutest 🤍

*liked by yourusername*

username lando ur catching these hands

username need to pray to whichever god lando prayed to 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

username im LIVING for the lando content we're being fed rn

landonorris me and the bitch i pulled by being mean to her

-> yourusername what did u say

-> landonorris me and my very amazing beautiful ethereal breathtaking hot angelic gorgeous pretty cute adorable gf whom i love and respect very much ☺️❤️

landonorris i loveeeeeee u

-> landonorris please take the demon child, i mean marshmallow, away from me

-> yourusername no ❤️

-> yourusername (i love u)

username im gonna cry what the fuck i need this kinda love

username HSHDJAKSHDHAKKASJJSHSA

-> landonorris same

username love to see lando grovelling ❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, charles_leclerc and 897,627 others

landonorris take a look at my girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!! (❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)

tagged yourusername

8,926 comments

username PLEASE I WANT HER SO BAD

username just one chance y/n i swear

username don't be shy lando fuck off go on do it

username came here for lando stayed for y/n 💪💪💪

username love a man who's just pathetic little baby girl and his gf who's EVERYTHING

*liked by yourusername*

-> username THIS.

username THE QUOTE OH MUCHOD

username HOW did u pull her

-> username this is MY generation's bermuda triangle

-> username LMFAOOOOO

username lando norizz but he actually pulled 🙏🙏🙏

-> username this revelation needs to be scientifically studied

username i love how half the comments section is thirsting for y/n and the other half is just straight up bullying lando

charles_leclerc we beg you, stop it we KNOW

-> landonorris no

username nah bc the grid being sick of him being in love is sending me 💀💀💀💀💀

username SHE'S SO ETHEREAL

username i love her sm

username lando just so u know *our girlfriend

username IM GOING FERAL OVER THIS OMGAIHAAJK

username goodnight.

lilymhe MY girlfriend but alright

-> francisca.cgomes real like he's forgetting something

-> carmenmmundt honestly

-> alexandrasaintmleux i know like *our* girlfriend

-> yourusername my loves 😘😘😘

-> landonorris wow..

username they're so ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

username someone find me someone like this i beg

username need to know how they met bc they couldn't be more opposites 💀💀💀💀

lewishamilton so happy for you mate 💜!!

*liked by landonorris*

username on my knees for this woman and for this woman only

username just one chance pls 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

username i see how kind god has been to others

yourusername i better be the only one u got

-> landonorris take a look at my girlfriend she's the only i got

-> yourusername that's better ☺️

yourusername love u loverboy

-> landonorris who

-> yourusername *i love u loverboy

-> landonorris 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-> danielricciardo oh no he's lagging again

-> yourusername just give him a min

username IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM I SWEAR I AM

username sliding down the wall fr cannot believe he bagged my wife

username wow.

[lotusarchon]

nezha is a child in the show isn't he? why are you shipping yourself with a minor and writing romance with him?that's so creepy,,,, how are you talking about dynamicsimp when you're doing worst 🤮

Found this cute Nezha fanart anyways

I knew I had to deal with one of y'all eventually but I didn't think it'd be this soon. Damn, at least let me hit 100 followers first 😞

Anyways uh. Nezha's first introduction in season 3 came out in like, what, 2022? I'm assuming it is, because I started LMK in March of 2023, before s4 was released and already found the show up till s3 by then. S5 just released this year, of which we've seen a weird increase of Nezha screentime of which I'm not complaining.

Point blank. The Nezha age controversies are getting old and boring. New fans and old fans need to chill out with those issue about the age business.

1) It's confirmed the Lego Monkie Kid version of the deity known as Nezha is an adult.

2) This is a god of an Eastern religion who is still very much worshipped to our modern day. If you did your research, you should be able to take note that Nezha isn't only seen as a child god, but even portrayed as someone older. I'm not a Daoist nor Chinese, so I advise you check this blog ( @/ruibaozha ) for more information on the subject matter.

3) As is the case with modern media and adaptations, different shows will portray religious figures according to what works for their plot. In the movie Nezha 2019 (forgot the title whoops), Nezha is portrayed as a child, as we are seeing a comedic but angsty interpretation of his origins. In the Legend Of Hei, we see him portrayed as a child, assuming for comedic purposes and to bond with the MC Hei.

3.2) If LMK wanted to portray Nezha as a child like his appearances in Journey To The West, and the Fengshen Yanyi (?), you must understand then his design and personality would've been portrayed more childish or at the very least a mixture of mature and childish. We can see this by comparing LMK Nezha and TLOH Nezha = both are stern but where one acts, looks and often shows childish traits, the other acts like an exhausted 25 year old who needs therapy. LMK HAS made children in the past, as we've seen with the Lady Bone Demon's Host and in season 1 a few kids here and there as background characters. If the show wanted Nezha to be a child, I'm certain they would've given him a similar model.

4) If in the instance that, let's say, the god known as Nezha was a child, and LMK Nezha is an adult, you SHOULD separate fiction from religion. Do keep in mind that Sun Wukong is still very much worshipped, however, I have seen fans, in and outside of LMK, who have written heavy NSFW and simped for him. A god is not the same as a fictional character, because by that logic we shouldn't be simping much less writing NSFW of Wukong either, given his story in JTTW where he becomes a Buddha.

5) I do not like proshipping much like any sane person. I also HATE aging up minors in fiction just for something like self shipping or to write nsfw. I have been in fandoms before this one: Jujutsu Kaisen, Tokyo Revengers, and My Hero Academia specifically, and it makes me uncomfortable seeing porn written of actual minors with excuse of them being aged up. I'm not so hypocritical I'd dare to want to do the same, not when I'm uncomfortable with anyone else doing it. If LMK Nezha was a minor, and there were sources to even prove as well within the series he's a child, then obviously, I would NOT be shipping myself with him, much less write romantic/nsfw content with him. I'm an adult, and I don't feel comfortable with minors in general, so why would I want to write romantic content about a FICTIONAL minor??

If you can find any source that proves me wrong, I'd like for you to do so. But until then, you, and everyone else who still wants to entertain Nezha's age; please stop.

I get it. Some of you like to headcanon him as a child so as such, seeing content with him as romantic or nsfw is uncomfortable. I understand, I do; I headcanon Mei as an aroace lesbian so sometimes it's uncomfortable finding any kind of content with her being paired with others. I do understand where you're coming from with your discomfort.

But I feel like, considering season 5 and hopefully if there's a season 6, the whole thing is just dust now. S3 must've been released in 2022, so it's been nearly two years since Nezha's appearance in the show. People headcanon he's a child, and people prefer to like the confirmation he's an adult. We get it, that's what fandoms are, different views etc.

But calling people proshippers or creepy or pedophiles for not adhering to YOUR headcanons is not only fucking stupid, it's just hilarious and way too old, AND just...boring. Especially considering I feel uncomfortable around minors and hate proshipping with a passion. There's genuinely nothing wrong with liking a headcanon, but if someone likes something that isn't problematic and doesn't adhere to your preference, I think you need to breathe a bit.

I was saving this off for last however, you hit the nail on the coffin with this. There is a literal document talking about the disgusting actions of DynamicSimp. If you still choose to like them that's fine, but forgive me for pointing out how hypocritical it is for you to bring up the person who purposely shared porn with minors to someone who avoids minors like they're the rat plague of the Middle Ages. 🤔

"you talk about DynamicSimp but you're doing worst"

Do you mean writing porn for a character who is confirmed to be an adult? Do you mean ensuring that my 18+ blog isn't found by minors and if it is I'll block them? Do you mean supporting someone who's harassed others about Nezha's age?? Do you mean being an absolute creep around children?? Do you mean breaking the boundaries where people have clearly expressed discomfort? Do you mean romanticizing abuse amongst other things for an au clearly being consumed by minors with no regards or wellbeings?

I wonder who's the worst. Me, the adult who only recently turned 18 and has limited his interaction with minors outside of family members, or the however old they are person who has a literal document and their victims speaking up about their actions, and who to my current knowledge has not spoken up about this and is still posting and carrying on without a care in the world?

Well zoinks Scoob, guess we're not making outta this one alive 😟

Edit: .....*disappointed sighs* I think some people really oughta chill out in my comments. Anon, I blame this on you 😭 why did you bring this here holy fucking shit dawg.

Alright. Alright uh.

Okay, so while I do appreciate being told the reasons as to WHY Nezha was "aged up", because a writer wanted to justify shipping Wukong and Nezha...I feel like the entire, "ah, but this says, and that says here-" about Nezha's age is just ridiculous at this point.

Yes, I understand, this is justifiably weird.

However.

Has anyone else refuted Nezha's age?? And I mean the canon show writers? Has anyone working on Lego Monkie Kid made a statement saying: "This person is disgusting, LMK Nezha is a child." Because, respectfully, unless canon sources provide information on it, I'm not going off based on the fandom opinions.

I'm not happy I have to edit this post to add this, much less try to explain anything, but, oh well.

1) "Ali, you're just trying to justify yourself and keep writing for a child." Listen. I've been groomed and dealt with fucking weirdos my entire life. Trust me when I say whenever I hear about proshipping it SICKENS me to the core. I HATE proshipping. I don't care what the excuse is, proshipping is disgusting.

I'm not mentioning the interesting fellows in my comments because it's pointless and honestly to make drama over this is stupid. But I was given some context to understand where they're coming from, and I do in fact appreciate it. Justifiably I don't blame them for their annoyance/disgust towards the writer Sarah (?).

What I will say though; typically in a situation like this, I'm certain someone in the team would've made a statement about this to explain that the writer is wrong. I'd assume at least one writer, someone OFFICIALLY on the team would've denied this proclamation of Nezha being an adult. I have not seen ANYTHING that says the show denies Nezha being an adult.

2) My friend, who was also in the comments (hi), is a native Chinese and a Buddhist for six years. I also have another friend who I'm not mentioning but ALSO is Chinese and WORSHIPS Nezha. They have more knowledge than someone like me does have on this matter, and I find it really odd how people immediately cite wiki and website sources to say, "Nezha is an eternal child!", and, "No where else says Nezha is an adult."

As I've said. If there are sources including the staff from Lego Monkie Kid that claims Nezha is a child, then I am more than willing to delete any content I've made with him. Full honesty, I have no intention of keeping any content with canon, confirmed minors on my blog.

But not only have I found anything that says the official story writers deny Nezha's an adult, but my friends, who are again, both Daoist and native Chinese, are aware that he ISN'T an eternal child.

If you are Daoist and/or worship Nezha, then by all means you can tell me that what I'm doing is wrong and correct me about Nezha's age. I'm willing to listen. If you also find information where the writers claim Saraha is wrong for her statement, provide it. I'm a person that likes reasoning, and I'm willing to see reason.

3) "Ali, you're not gonna see reason you're just trying to defend yourself again-"

Okay, backstory time: last year when I joined LMK, when I myself was a minor, I thought it was okay to write nsfw content for the character who was Lady Bone Demon's Host. My friends at the time did not tell me what I was doing was bad, so of course I kept it up, until someone pointed out that Bai He (fan name) is actually a minor in the show and was also confirmed by the show's producers. I felt so disgusted about it I deleted all my posts made on my old AO3 about her (which is faeriicrafts and still up surprisingly) and offered a sincere apology to the fandom about writing nsfw content for her. I changed and learned, and now I feel grossly uncomfortable seeing anyone writing nsfw for her despite the canon confirmations.

Justifiably, if more information about Nezha is released within Lego Monkie Kid, of which it's confirmed he's a child, I am more than eager to delete everything I've written about him, and even apologize again for writing nsfw with a minor.

To be honest, I just feel uncomfortable with the comments who are denying actual Daoists for the sake of; "I've done my research, no other sources has said Nezha is an adult, you're lying about worshipping him!!"

It's uncomfortable and really off-putting how you can tell someone that about their religion. Yes, this is for you specifically, that one commenter who jumped in and on my friend. Even if she has long since stopped worshipping Nezha, she very much did once. And I've gone to actual Daoists to ask more information about Nezha and the religion in general, who has in fact confirmed Nezha isn't just a child. I get that this is the internet, people can lie about anything. But it's still uncomfortable, solely because had anyone else claimed they're Daoist or ex Daoist and agreed with your opinion, you wouldn't have said that.

I'll reopen my comments within a few minutes, but don't be a disrespectful cunt. And can you maybe not deny someone about their religion? Even if you don't believe them, that's genuinely not an excuse. Because I know damn well, had she agreed with your statement, you wouldn't have pulled that.

Gods. I can't say I'm not surprised, but I'm just impressed about the lengths people will go for something.

Anyways, I've said my piece. If official show writers (because my Daoist friends have already told me what I needed to know) claim Nezha is a child, I'll delete my stuff with him. If not, then I'm not stopping posting Nezha content.

Toodles.

[gamergirl929]

Sophia Bush really needs to just shut the fuck up...

Stop saying you were single when you made a move on Ashlyn, because you weren't.

Stop saying Ashlyn was single when she decided to start screwing around with you, because she wasn't.

She had a wife and kids waiting for her at home, a family that was broken up through your and her action.

So stop acting like y'all getting together was some love story, because it fucking wasn't, y'all cheated on your significant others and got together, that's not a love story, you homewrecker.

[heyftinally]

Y'all are going to like this one.

SWIFTIES DON'T TOUCH THIS POST WITH A TEN FOOT POLE, I SWEAR TO FUCKING HELL-

So my friend sent me this article, and I'm going to tell you why I think it's complete bullshit.

1) wishing us a happy Pride month is the BARE MINIMUM. As someone with her presence in the media and social influence, she could - and should - be doing SO much more than just wishing us a happy pride four days in.

2) "the singer has been an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community" not a good one. She seems to only remember us when it's convenient or benefits her in some way. Case in point:

2018 - "When it comes to feelings and when it comes to love and searching for someone to spend your whole life with. It's all just really really delicate. You know?" Taylor then performed her song "Delicate."

2023 - It’s painful for everyone, every ally, every loved one, every person in these communities.

In the first example, the intentional song reference comes off as extremely tacky. This is people's LIVES you're talking about. People are MURDERED for who they are and who they love (or don't love). This isn't an appropriate time to pull out the "oh-so-quirky" act and be cutesy.

In the second, the fact that she can't even center queer people in their own experience is so, SO telling. I promise, however painful it is for allies, it's 1000x worse for us to LIVE it. Allies don't have to wonder "am I going to get hate crimed wearing this?" before they leave the house - we frequently do. To not acknowledge that shows me that everything she says is performative at best.

3) I wouldn't call what she does "advocacy". She mentions us every now and then when it's convenient for her, profits off of us when we fit her marketing plan, and I've yet to find where she actually apologized for the homophobia in the original version of Picture to Burn. Also, she's real good friends with Travis Kelce's dad, who is a raging transphobe (and I bet his kids are, too). You don't get to call yourself an ally if you willingly allow the people around you to be violent bigots.

4) "always" is a strong word for someone who seems to show her support situationally at best. The full quote was "The way for that to happen is for us to continue to keep pushing governments to put protections in place for members of the LGBTQ community. And I promise to always advocate for that." Yet she doesn't do that.

5) what she speaks out, I've noticed that it's nearly always in the states that primarily agree with her. We don't see a whole lot of her "inspiring ally" speeches in places like Texas or Florida. But I've seen plenty of them come out of already notoriously queer-friendly places. If you aren't willing to face the heat of the difficult places along with the comfort of the easy ones, you don't get to call yourself an ally. Allyship is not easy. Anyone remember when Lady Gaga advocated for us in Russia, under threat of arrest, and her response was "arrest me, Russia! I don't give a fuck!"? Yeah, I've never seen even half that level of true commitment from Taylor.

6) STOP. MAKING. STRAIGHT GIRL SONGS. "GAY ANTHEMS"!!!! FFS it's such a slap in the fucking face of REAL, ACTUALLY QUEER ARTISTS that y'all keep calling these piss pathetic straight girl over produced crap songs "anthems". Fucking stop it. If they aren't queer, they don't qualify to be a queer anthem or icon. Start supporting ACTUAL queer artists with ⅛ this energy, for the love of FUCK. This bullshit pisses me off. Do you need a list of queer artists? I'll make you one by hand if you promise to stop trying to label Raylor Swift's straight girl shit songs as "gay anthems".

7) rainbows and gender subversion are not exclusively nor inherently queer. If that's our bar for "gay anthems", the bar is so low Lucifer himself needs a damn Webb Telescope to just barely see it from hell.