#but without me saying anything ppl here and irl went out of their way to say something sweet to me??

[safety-pin-punk]

firstly, I love your blog and it's been a great resource to have as I've been learning abt punk! I hope you're well & ty for everything you do <3 do you have any advice for finding punk communities, both irl and online? I really wanna talk to ppl abt everything I'm learning and loving, but it's really hard to find communities. besides the landmine of trying to avoid nazi punks and the like, I don't rlly drink or anything so bars/clubs can be weird -teacupqueer/persie

Thank you so much!! I’m doing pretty well!

Finding Punk Communities Online:

I’ll be honest, I can really only speak on behalf of tumblr here. I don’t use other socials all that much.

But! If you want to find a fun awesome punk community on tumblr, you are already off to a great start! Find a punk blog you like or who has similar music taste, see who they reblog from and tag in their posts. I’ve met a LOT of really cool people this way on here! (Shoutout to @polyamorouspunk and @my-chemical-ratz whose blogs you should check out simply because they are cool people). And I’ve also met people who are in bands, or involved with bands (like @necromancy-savant and @dopamineband (who don’t use their tumblr anymore 😭)). I didn’t meet these people right away, it took a while of steady interaction with tumblr to build up these connections.

There are also Discord communities too, I don’t use discord much but I *think* (?) I saw a post go around a while ago where someone was starting up a punk discord server? Honestly maybe I’ll take the time to start one up, it might make me use Discord more lmao

Finding Punk Communities IRL:

Bars and clubs aren’t the only places to find punks!!

I’d recommend checking out any queer spaces in your area, I doubt it would surprise you to learn how often these two groups overlap.

Also! If you are near a city, chances are you have an underground scene somewhere. Google and Reddit are great resources to find the places punks gather in your city. For example: in my city theres a cafe and record shop that are popular among the alternative crowd that I never would have found without the use of Google.

Otherwise, what are your hobbies? If you like gardening/are into solar punk, see if theres a local gardening club! (I’d say a 50/50 chance of punk or karens tbh with this one).

Start up a book club at a local library that focuses on books like 1984 and Brave New World.

Go to gigs that arent at bars or clubs, I went to one back in February that was at an abandoned church, that was turned into a concert venue. The place was child friendly so there was no alcohol, but there were a lot of cool people there!

And the best tip I have for you to avoid nazis is to just know their symbols and signs. Do a bit of research on it and familiarize yourself with what to avoid

As always, other suggestions for anon are welcome!!

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

hi, indian anon here ( I think I used the ⏳️) ig you can say I'm an ex swiftie, but in the sense that I was never exposed to western music until evermore and I listened to it and loved it. I never engaged with the fandom or anything, and didn't even know all these things taylor did, and I thought taylor was a decent person because of the documentary. This was until ofc, the matty healy incident which opened my eyes to her behavior, but idky I felt like I couldn't openly dislike her. Everyone in my school was obsessed with her and if you're a girl, and you hated her, or even disliked her, you were a pick me, and I didn't wanna get hated on more by my classmates (long story there). The last straw for me was prolly when 1989 tv was released (after the mh incident I just called myself a swiftie cuz I liked her earlier work) and I had joined an online swiftie group chat, and the people there were so vile and hateful. I remember saying it's wrong hating on harry styles for cheating on her cuz she did the same, or that Joe alwyn is just a regular dude, and so are all her other exes, except prolly matty and the John Mayor guy for dating a 19 y/o (SHE ALSO DATED MINORS THO??? no one talked about this shit) and I mentioned that she's not god and that she has done bad things, and the gc, which had 50 active members everyday, collectively not only hated on me, but also these people had access to my private insta acc. My face, my friends, my address, they knew it all. It was so scary, and while I have been in plenty of toxic fandoms before (my first death threats were by the hp fandom, which I've left long back), I actually felt threatened. It actually felt like a cult, and it was scary until my insta acc got shut down (idky), and the ppl couldn't find me anymore. The swiftie fandom is weird at best, and potential criminals at worst, because wtf. They don't have any sort of individual thinking, and if someone does, they will find a way to shut it down. Even now, when I interact with a swiftie and taylor Swift comes up, and I say I don't like her, their behavior is just like the ones online. Ik ppl get more confidence to do bad things online cuz of anonymity, but swifties are the same irl, too. They completely believe it is okay to treat ppl terribly, harass and spread disgusting rumors and even doxx a Palestinian woman and give her details to Isreali organization. Like that actually happened. I regret that I didn't leave the fandom sooner because I can't believe I was associated with something like this. Ik celebrities make mistakes, and that fandoms always have one toxic portion, but this is too much.

Sorry for the long rant tho 😅

- ⏳️

sorry it took me a while to respond, there is SO MUCH HAPPENING in this ask. like 3 diff asks rolled into one omfg

1. peer pressured into “continuing” to like taylor swift you are a different kind of victim im so sorry you went through that (and all to prevent you from being bullied…im so sorry)

2. THE SWIFTIE GROUPCHAT: that is horrible and TERRIFYING. all you did was practice critical thinking and you feared for your SAFETY. their reactions are not logical nor rational and speak to how dangerous her fanbase is.

if you feel like you cannot call out your fave for their behavior without your safety being threatened, that is not a fanbase, that is a cult. i think we should actually did a venn diagram of swifties and cults we’d have a perfect circle.

3. SWIFTIES IRL: this is so true about how they behave. ive had friends tell me theyre scared of saying they hate taylor IRL cause of the backlash they’d receive. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. even when BTS was at their peak ppl never felt threatened by the ARMY to that point 😭

you NEED to send more info/links/ss about the doxxed palestinian. i need the #SwiftiesforPalestine to see wtf their mutuals are doing. that is ABHORRENT behavior. that poor woman!

thank you sm for this ask, u are truly one of god’s strongest soldiers cause wtf!!!! is wrong!!!! with swifties!!!!!

(p.s. if you are a repeat anon go ahead and sign off your asks with an emoji so i can keep track! thank you!)

[mr-damian-s-power]

Long ask ahead cause the things you said in your latest post are genuinely crazy 💀

First of all, you keep pointing out how witch/boiling isles society is so violent and so bad to their children as if humans arent the same?? Would you srs tell me that human society isnt awful to kids and that they arent also mistreated, not just individually but societally? Anything that happens in the demon realm, the human one also does in some way and neither is worse than the other. Belos himself straight up comes from a violent human group that used to hang women based on supersticions and nowadays, things arent that much better. I wont give any examples of irl events but it shouldnt be hard for you to think of some. The BI has its awful ppl and bad societal tendencies, humans do too so any argument that smh they are worse than us is just extremely laughable.

Second of all, we were literally shown that Belos was part of the reason why current BI society has issues. Society was more peaceful in Elsewhere and Elswhen and another very easy example is the scene in "Thems the breaks" where Terra, violent witch hired by Belos and put in the highest position, goes against child safety laws that Bump, another witch, brings up. Almost as if Belos, the bigot, purposefully used the worst of witch society to oppress the rest and encourage violence as the standard that gives you high positions (and ofc there would be bad ppl in witch society, every society does, human included) Almost as if some of it is the influence of the violent HUMAN bigot and not the isles being like that inherently or since the begining.

And lastly, even if the isles had a complicated history of war and conflicts which they most likely did cause every society, human or not has had such things, an outsider going there and dishing out "justice" isnt right in any way esp when hes one of the reasons for militarizing and worsening things by being a dictator and spending 400 years colonizing them. Belos, who decided to do this shit cause he was marinating in religious fanaticism and falsely said that witches are going after humans simply cause his brother made a choice to leave with one. Belos straight up kills humans who dont agree with his fanaticism and you gonna tell me he has a head on his shoulders that can decide if a whole nation should be erased just like that when hes the one who went there and colonized them eventho they werent bothering humans at all. The demon realm has existed for thousands of years without giving a single FUCK about the humans. Belos is a liar who was on a selfish quest to prove that hes right and you are here saying you wouldnt have felt bad if a "culture of killers" was eradicated.

By that logic, all of humanity should also die cause we arent better to our children, so many of us are violent and awful, every country on this planet commits at least one human rights violation at all times and persecutes at least one group through its laws and societal attitudes (and im being generous, its far more than one everywhere) Idk by what standard do you think witches are smh worse when its a human who went there and recruited the worst ppl in their society to do his bidding cause thats how awful dictatorships and cults work.

That doesnt mean everyone should die, do you realize how you sound when you say "genocide is bad BUT-"? That sentence should never include BUT esp when you are being extremely hypocritical in how you view witch society, acting like its worse than human one and falsely branding it as society of killers when so many of its current issues was Belos' violence coming into play.

And the irony is that, while the BI has its issues like every society esp one that was made worse by its leader who holds absolute divine power over these ppl, they are still more progressive than humans in many ways. No patriarchy, no homophobia, no transphobia. Humans come with every issue that witch society has ON TOP of the things I just listed.

I appreciate you being more civil this time around, but I'd like if you didn't put words in my mouth. I never for a second acted like Humans were in any way better than Witches. I am well aware that Humanity can show its evil side and turn people into monsters. I wasn't at all downplaying what real people have done.

Yeah, I was reminded that a lot of Witch society's issues were brought around by Belos, but the fact they paint the Isles in the Savage Ages as some sort of perfect utopia feels disingenuous to me. Reminds me too much of those Avatar films where the blue Aliens are a near-perfect society who live on a planet where all their needs have been met and are spiritually connected to the planet, where we are then supposed to hate the Humans who have had to persevere in a vicious environment. But we're not here to talk about that!

My original talking point was about how the Isles become 'neutered' with time. At first, it's this hostile land of monsters, where the very environment is out to kill you. It rains acid! Furniture is alive and will eat people. It would make sense that Witch society would turn out hardy and a bit apathetic, but they ignore that. Later in the series, like you said, child protection laws get brought up. Why would this world have that? Bump didn't step in to stop Boscha's bullying due to it 'not being fatal'.

Instead, all the blame is placed on Belos. Belos is the source of almost all evil in the Isles. Him getting revealed to be a Human then just feels, to me at least, like taking the blame off of the Witches. It feels just a touch preachy to me. Witch society was this perfect utopia with no racism, or sexism, or homophobia or anything negative until that mean Human showed up.

See, why couldn't the show have focused on this? How a society was brainwashed into thinking these things are fine? They weren't perfect in the past, but Belos brought out the worst in all of them and made them think they needed to be this to survive or to appease the Titan or whatever. You know, cult stuff!

And I know, I shouldn't have used such harsh language or labelled them as a 'culture of killers' due to the examples we're given. No culture or people is 'evil', and genocide should never be a solution.

[ca-suffit]

Show's cast has explicitly said racial motivations weren't what lead to it happening (they were white in books, Louis a plantation owner and it still happened). You can see what you want to see but it's a show made by a white guy at the end of the day.

Fixating on something the people involved haven't given an indication is even there to rally against the guy who is the one very vocal about the queer text (which they do admit is an actual thing they are intentionally putting in there and talking about) in a cast of mostly straight people is icky as hell.

The trial happens in the book but not exactly the same way it happens in the show. Book ppl luv to cry about changes made between the 2, I wonder why it's always silence on detail changes like this?? I rly wonder (/s).

The show intentionally put an abundance of slave / lynching refs into every part of the trial, things that are *not* in the books and specific to black ppl only. that isn't stuff that just whoopsy daisy ends up here, from a series that has consistently been incorporating these things in the story. ur attempt to discard that even more by saying a white guy is behind the show is also just stupid. unlike anne rice, there is not a single creator for the show. no *one* person is responsible for things.

there seems to be a disconnect in ppl thinking if these things are present then the main focus has to be antiblackness too. the trial has to spell out "this is a trial against black ppl cuz we hate black ppl!!" do u see anything IRL....ever? do u know anything about history or things happening rn? when lestat is on the train to get claudia and drag her home, did u also think the slave catcher part of that wasn't real bcuz he didn't call her a slur or smthg while doing it?

idk why the cast and crew won't talk about these things but I'd imagine a lot is bcuz putting emphasis on race / racism is not a real selling point for gaining viewers, especially anne rice viewers. it doesn't mean the show still isn't doing this and it doesn't mean ppl who notice it are making shit up. again, this type of stuff isn't stuff that just occurs the way it's presented here without being intentional. it's also possible that the actors of color don't want to be the ones to answer these questions, are they asking these things to the white ppl too?

I also have no idea what ur point is trying to make me sound homophobic (I do, I'm just pointing out ur manipulation technique is bad). this fandom and other fandom's focuses on (white) gay rights above all else is another issue u never want to talk about. just like in the trial, u'll throw in talk about standing up to homophobia bcuz it stomps over racism rly easily, bcuz nobody cares about racism in the first place. I'm sure u felt rly good when lestat went after that homophobe during the trial where claudia dies anyway. it's possible to talk about multiple things at once, btw, and I've never said anything negative about gay ppl or gay rights so this was rly a reach. if u rly think sam reid is some kind of gay rights activist for this stuff too then no wonder it's a struggle to talk about anything in this fandom lol.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

mr s i have a tmi question: since u hve experiences with casual sex, i was wondering how one... eases another person into it? as an awkward ace person ive certainly had opportunities to get into it but ive just refused bc im not rly into it, yknow? so my actual question is if u had any advice on how to initiate w ppl u know irl without sounding too forward? (i guess? u can tell i have no idea how any of this works lol lack of attraction is difficult to navigate)

That's a good question. I don't think it's TMI, lol. It's more just a relationship question to me, haha. Either way, I'm down to talk about it!

First story time, just for shits and giggles:

It depends on who you're having casual sex with, obviously. Some people I've heard of having hard, specific rules and some people have a similar experience to me where it was just... super casual. If there was anything up, we would just talk. We were friends. It's fun. It feels good. It's all chill, y'know?

I've had had a friends with benefits type relationships with two people--both women.

The first time it happened, we had been forming a friendship for a little bit, but we weren't super close or anything. Once, she straight up asked me if I was a virgin (which, in general, yuck, I dislike that terminology so much but whatever) when we were hanging out alone. That dissolved into conversation about sex in general. We came to the conclusion that we were both sex positive and both enjoyed sex. She told me that she had missed sex since she'd broken up with her boyfriend a while ago and hadn't gone out and hooked up with people after or anything. She didn't want to go out and just hook up. Fair enough.

I, half as a joke, half, just, why not said that we could have sex if she ever felt like it. We were friends, and I didn't want to date her, but we got along well so far, plus she was pretty. Why not?

She laughed at first, then asked me if I was serious at all. I told her, yeah, sure, if she wanted to. And... things kind of went from there.

We still talk sometimes, but she moved away, and while I have a lot of friends that are long distance so I'm fine texting and calling. It's not her speed. I have no hard feelings about it. If I'm ever where she is or she's here, I'm sure we'll get together to hang out.

And screwing around with her wasn't an all the time, like, weekly thing. We never met up specifically to fuck around, we would just hang out and then end up fucking occasionally.

(She was a fucking bomb kisser and I have to say she wore very pigmented makeup that would sometimes run and I- I can not tell you how much of A Thing I have for ruining pretty girl's makeup (or anyone's makeup for that matter 😏). It just looks so good messed up. Especially lipstick or eyeshadow/mascara. Jesus.)

The second time it happened, I met this woman in class, so we weren't friends prior. Friendly. But I didn't know her too well. We had talked in class, just chatting, and she emailed me for help on a few assignments because we were put into a cohort for peer-review stuff. Her voice was, just, gorgeous. And she was really smart. She wants to be a teacher. I could probably listen to her to talk for hours. Maybe if we'd gotten to know each other better, we could've dated or something, but we didn't. She graduated at the end of the term and moved onto her new, post-college life. I totally get it.

Anyway, she would compliment me here and there--she liked my hair, my eyes, the rings I wear, and some other stuff. She was really pretty herself, so I'd just reciprocate. Not exactly flirting but also not not flirting, haha.

I asked her if she had a partner, between asking about her life, generally, after we'd finished our work for peer review stuff once. She said she didn't and she asked if she could kiss me. I told her that sounded good. So we kissed, and then we actually went back to working, lmao. No funny business.

We kissed more the next time we met up outside of class. Literally, just taking a break from studying.

And, I don't know... dating never came up? It was one of those situations where we were alone and were kissing and more or less doing some heavy petting. Then it seemed just like it'd be a good time to keep going and I do like eating pussy, so I offered, she said yes. She actually complimented me on my skills the same way she had complimented me before and I laughed because... who wouldn't? She was sweet.

Then, the next time we got together, she asked if I'd do it again. She exchanged phone numbers and fucked around a few more times. Not too many times, though.

Funnily enough, I think my favorite thing that happened between us was when we were in class, and I licked my lips because... yeah. Sometimes you do. And she jabbed her fingers into my side to make me stop 💀💀 I choked, trying not to laugh too hard in front of everyone (and we did go to her car after class 👀).

(Also, I just have to confess that she was so, so good. She would stay still if I told her to, even when I went down on her. She also would stay basically silent if I told her to make not sounds, no matter what I did to her 👀 It was fucking incredible.)

Second, advice:

Again, it depends on the person. Some people want the straightforward version where there is an agreement, a conversation, and some people probably are more just about letting things flow naturally.

If you feel like you want a direct conversation, it might be better to just have that direct conversation so you can find someone who wants the same thing, so there would be the least amount of confusion possible. If you're content to let it flow... I don't know. That's harder. You can wait for conversations that shift in the direction of sex or push conversations that way.

I mean, maybe don't go, "hey, have you heard of this thing called causal sex? We should do that!" But you also could. Whatever you feel like.

If someone doesn't want to or refuses, that's them. They're allowed to say no. Try not to feel too defeated or rejected. There's a million reasons someone might not want to. It doesn't need to be a result of something with you. Y'know? (Not that I think you'll have a problem with that, knowing you've turned down causal sex yourself.)

If I were you, though, I think I might go for the direct conversation. Being on the ace spectrum makes sexuality different from allosexual people, obviously, and if you're going to fuck around with allosexual people it may come in handy to lay out, hey, this is what's going on with me, these are the feelings I have.

The people I've casually fucked have all known that I have a weird thing with sex where there needs to be some type of kink or power dynamic or something more than just strictly "vanilla sex" for me to be interested because... I don't know, that's just how I work 🤷🏻‍♂️ That and I'm not immediately in for being gotten off during sex. Sure, it's nice, but I'd much rather be getting the other person off. It's just more fun. And having said those things out loud to those women, it was much more fun because of that.

In conclusion... did I help? Or did I just tell you stories about the people I've fucked? I don't know. Hopefully, I helped. Or, hopefully, I at least gave you something to think about.

P.S. Everyone is awkward, you'll be okay, sweetheart!

[fagcrush]

"maybe I should share my list of shit I had to put up with" Doooo it

Well here u go anon!

Wasn't gonna do this but if ppl wanna sit here and vague me I'm gonna be the one to actually say whats up.

I do want to say I do not think I was fully innocent in this group. I did tend to vent to much and drive topics into the ground. I was in a pretty awful place for awhile, was not being treated for stuff I needed to be treated for, had few ways to cope, and made it others problem. I've had time to reflect now that my head is more clear and I'm more medicated and stuff and yeah removing me was reasonable but the way they went about it and the way one mod (who I'll call Mod A through this) was constantly aggressive with me and took issue with things that weren't actually problems is my issue.

It's a long list (literally went over nitro limit) so. Under a read more

When I first moved in w my now ex roommate, we had an incident where they went on a week long vacation when we were struggling to pay rent, and the only thing they talked about was how they were going to have sex I started confusion offer them going so far out of town and only talking about that, and Mod A snapped and said it's not my business and I'm being weird. I think it is my business if they're taking time off work when we have bills to pay.

There was a point where I wanted to try to do content creation full time bc of all the stress trying to find a consistent, good job post-pandemic, working a fucking shitty ass job (one of those ppl trying to sell you shit in the middle of Walmart), I made a little half-joke about paying for the stream coaching advertised on a bottle of soda I had. Mod A for some reason felt the need to get snippy about this, and I kind of snipped back about how I just really want to stream full time because my job is making me extremely unhappy, and it was like "well if you worked better at your job maybe you'd be happy" (which. Damn. How's that boot taste)

I shared a post where I felt someone was being incredibly cruel over a small innocent comment, and Mod A said that the person was justified and funny. Which. I don't remember the thread exactly but it was a small comment that the person could have silently blocked over if it bothered them that much, rather than making a show of it and putting a person on blast, especially given tumblrs hobby of telling people to kill themselves after theyve been "owned." The argument ended with it telling me to "get over" being bullied for being too weird for others, which I stated is the reason I hate the cruelty over minorly "annoying."

Several people in the server were the "it's the fault of third party voters and people who abstain of trump wins" type. The argument happened very early into the election season but

Someone sent me a very vague anon about something a friend of mine did, with zero detail or anything, and then blocked me and now people treat me like a horrible person for taking the side of the person that actually gave me context and talked like an adult.

I was removed from the "irl" side channel some of the closer members were allowed in without being told or warned because I got mad that an ex friend (also incredibly petty drama) gave some personal info out about me for like. No reason.

I was frequently given advice when I did not ask for it, and then people would get mad that I wasn't taking the advice. I think the worst case of this was being given advice on how to make my rp replies longer when I was ranting about elitism in the rp community. That's not what I said. I said I want people to be more accepting of short form and even gave an example of my own rp that's well developed when a lot of our replies are dialogue only. Yeah I should have dropped it long ago but is it really that hard to say "Do you want advice?"

One person was just. Really set on ignoring everything going on in Palestine because "it makes me sad."

Another person constantly huffed and puffed about the PS5 not having exclusives, and ignored me when I tried to explain that most people STILL can't afford a PS5 because it came out smack dab in the middle of a recession and at one point cost basically as much as a used car.

This person also got real huffy and pouty about person giving valid criticism to genshins character models always drastically changing from the announcement art.

I talked frequently about how much I love the group mygo from bang dream. About my frustration when they were delayed, about how I wish I knew more ppl that liked them, about how much their music means to me. When they got added to en, Mod A decided to just say "idgaf about mygo" and it just. Felt rlly hurtful, especially considering it can't handle people not liking bnha

it also loved to hate on morfonica, another group I frequently expressed my love for bc I relate to the singer Mashiro and her struggles. And idk in general I think having this much vitriol for fictional teenage girls while you like bakugo just makes you look like a clown.

Mod A was talking about the BNHA Burger King Collab in France, and I pointed out we shouldn't be celebrating this since Burger King is on the BDS list, and it just kept talking about how excited it is.

When I was visiting an out of town friend, we were thinking of going to see a movie. The only things playing the day and time we could go were Beetlejuice and the Deadpool and Wolverine movie. My husband is incredibly uncomfortable w Beetlejuice bc of the whole dating a teenager plot point, and I was hearing mixed things on Marvel movies being boycotted bc of the Captain America movie, so I asked the server if they knew. For some reason someone got... Really passive aggressive with me for asking, without even knowing why I was asking, and told me to just pirate it. Like I know I can do that. I was asking because I want to go out and do something with a friend but our options are limited. (And yet someone celebrating an actually BDS boycotted thing is perfectly fine! When I found out later that the only thing BDS asked people to boycott was Captain America!)

Mod A was just. Weirdly obsessed with omegaverse stuff w b/akudek/u (censoring so it doesn't pop up in the search) and while the conversation was technically sfw, omegaverse is still at its core a fetish that you shouldn't be applying to underage character. You literally can't seperate it from its core being "There are people who need to fuck monthly or they get incredibly sick/die." And especially w BNHA's tendency to sexualize underage characters it's just. Nasty.

They were really nasty and negative toward vtuber merch and I would ask ppl to cool it down bc I love vtuber merch and they like. Wouldn't.

Also really nasty towards people that like Project Sekai knowing I liked it.

In general there was honestly a lot of hypocrisy with "You can't even criticize my interests, but I'm gonna totally trash on yours."

I was like... Removed without being told. And they didn't consult the owner or anything.

While some things were understandable like me venting about things and not stopping, part of their problem is what I've talked about with people saying it's "TMI" for me to use vague terms to talk about my husband and I trying to have a baby. Also apparently me talking a lot about how I hate how the Deco*27 song Rabbit Hole was kind of bastardized by a really weird animation and how the animation ended up more popular than the official key art. God forbid I want a song about trauma not to turn into "LOOK Miku is having SEX LOL."

Tbh just... Overall the way Mod A was allowed to bully me constantly was so weird.

Oh and this stuff from Mod A and another mod on Tumblr after I was kicked

I'm sure I'm missing shit bc that was just such a bad environment but hey.

[dynamimight]

cw: THIS IS NOT A FIC, the internet is simply my diary lmao. just a lil thing to get stuff about tumblr rn out of my head. read if you please, i also rly want to talk about this w/ppl 😭😭 (readmore bc i put this in fandom tags)

i recently have been feeling a certain kind of way about reading fanfic; if i find myself scrolling (bored/looking for fun stories as always) i kinda just quickly scroll through the whole page and give?? up??? like im not as excited as i used to be. this is for a few reasons:

1. i feel like a lot of fics are the same now 👍🏼 not a terrible thing, but i really look back to the quarantine era of "forced creativity" (a different conversation) and think about just how much people were writing; not to "give out content," but to truly explore an online writing community and do something that was worthwhile. the resurgence if the "[as]" trend on tiktok really put that into perspective for me: quarantine forced ppl to explore creativity, created job opportunities based on that (influencers/content creators as we now know them), and really pushed artistry to the point of basic normalcy. even though this was a cool kind of thing (seeing so many ppl create), our level of understanding art and its brilliance was lowered. which brings me to point 2-

2. a good amount of the "creative era" of quarantine was simply ppl replicating other ppl's original ideas, or straight out stealing them to add an extra topping of fame, bc ofc "everybody wants to be famous." my best examples of this are the two sides of the tiktok coin: dancing & damelio.

dancing became a big thing, and it made sense to start dancing trends; a trend is just popularity + replication. but charli damelio becoming famous for creating one of those trends and it later being stated that a completely different girl, jalaiah harmon, created it and had no recognition until the news came out?

and yes, she was on ellen, but that pales in comparison to the millions of dollars that the damelio family made bc of one instance of improperly following a trend.

and that's what i see now with multiple online spaces; they've become boring bc everyone is doing the same thing w/o giving proper credit to anyone. before content creation & whatnot became huge, no one irl would go around seriously saying tht they created some huge, celebrity-reach trend without being checked.

now, the difference between tiktok and fanfic pertaining to "trends" is based on power imbalance. no one is gonna believe a middle schooler saying that they started the trend of wearing skirts over jeans when it was very obviously some a-list celeb. in writing, you look to your favorite authors, poets, etc. and formulate your own writing style. whether that's word choice, plot format, or anything else you can cultivate to your own writing experience.

while you can always put your own spin on new dance/fashion trend, writing is different. you wouldn't put a spin on a classic in the same way: it would be a modern retelling, or smth symbolic of the original. adding an extra move is is not equal to adding an extra sentence. and that is what leads me to my final point-

3. writing is becoming/has became very formulaic. a good amount of fics in the most popular fandoms here follow a similar style. we see this with the short cycle of complaints that went around when the fic format of "short blurb with a group of character names under it" came about. along with the fact that the format probably came from the notoriously unoriginal & wattpad-esque booktok, everyone who wanted activity in their notifs was using that format. and so now, with every new group of teens that comes here to enjoy stories and explore writing, the new "trend" isn't a fully fleshed out story: it's like pushing out content.

i'm not complaining, and i'm not saying that everyone lacks originality. i enjoy whatever ppl put out bc i know that any form of writing comes from some place within. i am simply making a written observation of something i've noticed happen over the last couple of years- being a younger teen when it started, and now growing into the basics of adulthood.

the internet is my diary lol

[neonapocalypta]

In the earlier eps of the show and even in Shudo's book (if my memory recalls right) animals and pokemon were separate beings. Like fish in the cerulean gym. It's more early installment weirdness now, but it seemed more intentional at the start. [Edit: Putting more context here. I know the fish being shown were a mistake, I was using them as example of irl animals not as proof they exist in the pokemon world. "Early installment weirdness" was about animals existing at all in the pokemon world, not just those fish. The later seasons act like regular animals never existed. In the early show even with mistakes like that they were apart of the show's world at some point. (Just not in the present time.) I think I coulda specified better. My bad.]

Also, Meowth learned to talk. Like you said Pikachu has it's own language. He greets people with their own names in "Chu speak". Even if it's telekinesis other pokemon can talk. Even if they can only say their names they're able to communicate with each other and people with ease. These pocket monsters are not dumb.

The pokemon rebelled against their trainers (by not fighting the diglett) in that episode I mentioned before. One of my fav parts is the diglett politely giving back pokeballs to their trainers. These ppl are trying to destroy their home and their still being nice. I think that was the point, in a way, to show the pokemon are creatures that can think for themselves and can live for themselves without humans. (And of course to prep for his ending. I need to find that comment but I swear Shudo said that ep was intentional foreshadowing on his end.)

In Shudo's book Pikachu and Ash's relationship is more of a slowburn. Pikachu is pretty skeptical of him throughout the whole thing. Though, this is probably to lead up to the war, but without that 3rd book, or comments from him, that's just a guess on my end. Still, we get pikachu's pov. He doesn't love Ash after he gets saved like the anime goes for. Pikachu's feelings is a Shudo book thing, but Charizard as well. (And other mons afterwords.)

Though I am only taking about Shudo's pokemon. His pokemon isn't the game and it isn't even the anipoke Advance generation onward. (Though his influence still stayed, more in the shadows as time went on.) On the topic of the way the pokemon are handled, my opinion would change depending on which version I'm talking about as different writers go about this differently. I feel the main games present them more creature like, though also a game pov is gonna be different from an anime. Anyone writing anything is going to be different from Shudo's work. There's not too many people who write like him. The closet exceptions are some of the other early pokemon staff, but even then they have their own thing going.

It seems out of left field that Shudo would think of this so far so early into the show. Especially or a commercial product tv program, but that's how he rolls. It's why I love his writing and want to watch/read everything he's ever made. Goshogun, though I won't spoil, kinda hits on a lot similar beats I think wanted to do with pokemon. It's something I hope to talk about in detail one day. I'll say after watching it I think I have a better idea of what he wanted to with that pokemon ending.

I think Shudo cared (in a worldbuilding sense) a lot about the (or his) world of pokemon. His book has sections where the world/pokemon is explained, not from Ash's pov but others who never appear in the series. I think part of this is why people find the book odd, but I think it makes it better.

He had so many ideas that got thrown aside, mainly I think around the time pokemon was becoming more of a brand in the late 90s and 2000. Though this is something that I think needs more research, but my hunch is huge. In one of your comments you said you liked movies 1 and 3 more, right? Me too, he had more creative control over those. (Though we lost the dino script. aka the original pokemon 3 movie.) He apparently had a lot of pressures to change the 2nd movie. He was fine for listening to feedback, I can feel it a bit in the product.

I have a good track record for just knowing when Shudo wrote something so it might be only me feeling this way. Movie 2 is still good, but he loved Lugia so much. I want to see the Shudo cut (my words) even if it's not that different from the final version. I legit wonder if things would have turned out even slightly better if they'd let Lugia be a girl like he wanted. Idk.

I could go on for hours and was gonna even mention Ash's mom more, as I love what he did with her character. Her backstory is sad, but I think grows the world more. (She's also just a hoot.) Since Shudo they've made her into a goofy mom. Though fun in her own right his version of her is excellent. Not many other properties would have this be a plot line, but also take time to check in on her. She's not Ash's mom, she's her own person whose life didn't turn out the way she wanted. Still, I think it's better to hear it from him and read his novels or his his words then me recapping. Even if it wasn't his intention in the show and only did when it came time to write the books he still chose to focus on her. Or really, what he did with her. (Though I do think he had a lot of her backstory on lock when creating the show.)

Takeshi Shudo is a wildcard for pokemon and anime as a whole, he was pretty ahead of the curve. Though I don't think it's fair to give him all the credit on pokemon's creation as he was adapting it from a game with it's own team, it is fair to say he did his own thing. I mean who else takes baby commercial show and decides to do this stuff? Well, Takeshi Shudo. We are talking about the man who might have created Truck-kun. That's just like one other thing he did.

I miss his mind so much.

Of course, sorry for the ramble and that ended up being less about pokemon being independent beings. It's such a wide topic. Still, I think pokemon being their own creatures outside of humans is something always intended even in the games. Even if they were seen more as "monsters" you can work with or no. It's interesting to see how this series has rolled with the concept and at least for the anime Shudo had a hand in that. I also think pokemon's design philosophy is different from the 90s and now. New hands on deck, but I still like them. I can get why people don't like humanoid pokemon on a design basis, but I think they have a place. Then again I'm a ride or die for the trashbag, icecream, and even the keychain mon lol. Like, why not?

i legit feel like i'm the only person who likes Takeshi Shudo's text writing style. (And thinks he's a good writer.) I've only been able to read pocket monsters the animation, but I vibe with it. If ever possible I'd like to make a blog defending his writing style.

[kiegotakami]

did some divine energy of the universe tell a bunch of people what a hard time I’ve been having that made them say nice things to me the last couple days or ???

[ratmonky]

Out of Body Experience

Word Count: 4.9K

Warnings: semi-public

AO3 Link

[You matched with Maru!]

[Send Maru a message!]

Maru: Hey.

(username): hiii!!

Maru: You look cute in your pictures on your profile.

(username): omg you think so?? i’m really happy!! i thought you had a rlly cool bio,,, i guess i did the right choice to like your bio

Maru: Thanks. I was surprised to get a notification that we matched. You’re way out of my league.

(username): don’t say that maruuu~ i bet you look handsome irl

Maru: I don’t.

(username): hmm, wanna prove it?? >.<

Maru: I don’t know.

(username): don’t be shy!! ur bio said you lived in kyoto, wanna meet up this saturday?

Maru: You’ll be disappointed.

(username): i promise i won’t!!! i like meeting new ppl!!! besides if we didn’t click we can still be friends?? i feel like you and i will be close no matter what!!

Maru: Are you sure? We just met.

(username): yep!!! come ooooonnnnn it’ll be fun to hang out!!

Maru: Fine.

(username): yay!!! let’s meet in front of the train station!! ahh i’m so excitedddd i can’t waittt TwT

Maru: Me too.

(username): <3

[Maru: <3………….. (send)]

Kokichi paused and deleted the message.

Maru: See you.

~~~

Kokichi’s first impression of you was that you were naive and careless. You wanted to meet up with him without any hesitation, what if he was someone who could harm you?

He stared at his screen and at your pictures.

You were gorgeous, he had never seen someone as pretty as you. On top of all that you wanted to meet him.

It made him feel special, wanted even.

~~~

When a notification sound filled his ears, Kokichi immediately checked if it was from you.

(username): maruuuuu!!!! i missed u  ))):

He stared at the message and read it three times but didn’t quite understand why you would miss him.

Maru: What?

(username): i thought you’d text me but u didn’t,,, i couldn’t sleep cuz i was thinking about u

Maru: I didn’t think you wanted me to text you.

(username): )):

Maru: ?

(username): )))):

Maru: (:

(username): (((((:

Maru: You’re childish aren’t you?

(username): what about it q;

Maru: Nothing. How old are you anyway?

(username): old enough to drinkkkk!!!

Maru: Me too. Which Jujutsu college are you going to?

(username): ohh, hehe… i dropped out cuz it wasn’t my thing

Maru: That’s irresponsible. Did you drop because you couldn’t keep up with your curse classes or was it for some other reason?

(username): maruuuu stop talking about jujutsu with meee!!!

Maru: Then what should we talk about?

(username): about our date >.<

Maru: Date?

(username): did u forget already )):

Maru: Forget what?

(username): our date on saturday )):

Maru: That’s a date?

(username): TwT ur making me sad maru

Maru: I don’t understand it, we just said we’d meet up.

(username): this is a dating website for ppl like us ///:

Maru: You want to date me?

(username): idk anymore,,, seems like ur a heartbreaker and i feel like u don’t feel a connection between us as i do

Maru: Wait! Don’t jump to conclusions all by yourself! You don’t even know what I look like, how can you be so sure that you want to date me?

(username): i mean,,, we matched for a reason,,, i liked ur bio and wanted to get to know u better is that bad??

Maru: No. No, it isn’t. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm new to this sort of stuff.

(username): apology accepted!!!! ahhhh ur so cute,,, i can’t wait to meet u

Maru: Same here.

~~~

His classmates knew something was up. Robotic demeanor was gone and instead, it was actually a part of himself as Kokichi that was showing through.

“Mechamaru looks happy nowadays,” Kamo noted.

“It’s relieving that he shows us a softer side of himself,” Miwa added. “Makes me feel happy for him.”

“I wonder what caused him to become this way.” Kamo was talking to himself but Todo took it upon himself to answer.

“He has finally found himself a Takada-chan.” Todo grinned. “Reminds me, I never asked him what his type of woman is.”

There was a moment of silence before Todo walked out into the campus garden to make his way towards Mechamaru.

Mechamaru didn’t notice his presence as he was watering the flowers.

“Yo.”

“Todo. Did you need something?”

“What’s your type of woman?”

Caught off guard, Mechamaru dropped the watering can. “I… I think someone who’s kind and cheerful.” Someone who’s submissive.

“Like I guessed.” Todo held his chin between the knuckle of his forefinger and thumb as he hummed thoughtfully. “You’re as lifeless as your puppet.”

~~~

What did that suppose to mean?

Kokichi was just telling the truth.

Right?

~~~

Days passed until Friday came.

Kokichi talked to you almost every day and whenever he could. He seemed to enjoy your company more than he thought he would when the two of you first matched.

He woke up to your messages and went to sleep only after he texted you goodnight.

Today, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his ribcage, he could hear his own pulse when it got too quiet and it was dead silent in his hideout… as always.

All he could think about was your date tomorrow. He had made sure to dress up Mechamaru nicely for the occasion and checked the weather report thrice so the date wouldn’t be ruined because of anything out of his control.

There was still something that made him extremely anxious. What if you didn’t like him? What if everything went terribly and you blocked his number?

He needed something to distract him from these negative thoughts.

Maru: Hey.

(username): maruuuu!!!! what r u doin??

Maru: Going to sleep soon, I think.

(username): without me (;

Maru: Never.

(username): i’m blushing

Maru: How are you?

(username): fine, i'm doing skincare tonight to get ready for our date!!

Maru: About that...

(username): ....

(username): are you going to cancel our date?

Maru: No! I’m just anxious about it.

(username): good cuz i’d block u

Maru: I don’t think you would.

(username): you don’t know me

Maru: Because you never told me about yourself.

(username): ^-^; haha yeah,,, so,,, what would you like to know?

Maru: Everything.

Without even noticing the passing time, Kokichi chatted with you until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

He learned everything about you. From the earliest memory, you could recall about your first interaction with a cursed spirit to your latest obsession with an online game about cute animals.

His eyelids were getting heavier, he texted you goodnight and how he was excited to meet you tomorrow.

When he closed his eyes, this time he managed to fall asleep.

~~~

You pressed your phone to your chest and kicked at your sheets. The excitement was eating you up, the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t calm down either. All because of someone you met online a couple of days ago.

It wasn’t something new to you to meet up with people you met online but this felt a lot different.

Previous times, you had used different dating apps or social media websites to make friends but this was the first time you had used a dating website specifically for people who knew the existence of curses.

Jujutsu sorcerers often found it hard to find someone they could click with because of their field of work but this website had risen up to popularity from day one. Your old classmates from your jujutsu college wouldn’t shut up about it so you gave it a go after their insisting.

Maru was one of the first people you matched with on the website. In his profile, he had written about how he wanted to find someone he could be himself with and date them.

That’s why tomorrow, you had to be on your best behavior so he could be himself around you.

~~~

You were twenty minutes early.

It wasn’t your intention to arrive this early but whether it be the excitement to meet up with Maru or not wanting to make him wait if your train was late-

Wait, those were all connected.

Letting out a sigh, you checked your phone. Yep, still twenty minutes. Once you put it back in your purse, your eyes scouted around the station. There weren’t any empty spaces for you to sit so you were standing by a meeting point next to the maps, hoping Maru would see you.

Although you didn’t know what he looked like, you had put effort into how you looked today so you could impress him. Deep inside, you hoped he would take notice of your appearance and compliment you but some men were just too dense.

From the way he had started texting you, he gave you the impression that he was one of those stoic and dense men but as you started to get to know him better, he turned out to be quite a friendly person. Very talkative and caring.

You pressed a hand on your cheek, you were burning up. Geez, were you really blushing this much because of him?

When you told your friends about this date, they had told you not to have too many expectations about Maru. They believed you were being catfished but it wasn’t possible, you didn’t want to meet him because of his appearance after all.

“Um, excuse me-”

Startled, you lifted your head to stare at a… robot?

You stepped away from its way, thinking that you were standing in front of its charging station or something. How long had it been since you had gone out? Had robots already taken over? Or was this one of those public pranks?

The robot was staring at you even after you moved away.

“(username)?”

You lifted your gaze and looked at the robot with wide eyes. “M-M-Maru?”

It nodded, “Mechamaru.”

No, it wasn’t a robot. You could sense cursed energy oozing from it. More like a cursed doll. Nevertheless, you were speechless.

There was a long pause before you spoke. “Ah, I...” You looked around as if you were searching for an exit and anxiously clutching on your purse.

Great, you were going to make up an excuse and go away. Just like he thought you would.

“I thought I was going to meet you, not a puppet.”

“I’m here,” he said, static sizzling noise coming from him was like nails on a chalkboard. “I just can’t be physically here because of my condition.”

“You could’ve told me about it first… ahh, sorry.” You sounded more annoyed than you would have liked but quickly covered it up by bowing your head to greet him. “Nevermind, I’m (name).”

“Are we going to use real names?”

“Well, I’m not gonna call you Megaman.” There was a smile.

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. After a short silence, he added, “Kokichi.”

“Nice to meet you Kokichi, I hope we can get along well.” You bowed yet again.

“Why are you being so formal?”

“It’s cuz…” You pointed at him.

“What?”

“Well…” You used both hands to gesture his whole body.

“If you say it’s because I’m a robot or anything similar to that, I’ll go home.” He sounded serious, or maybe it was because of the static.

You pouted and leaned forward on your tiptoes, “If I can’t even joke around then I’ll go home.”

“I thought you were looking forward to our date.” When you blushed at his words he spoke again. “You look cuter than your pictures.”

“Ahh, you really think so?” You started walking and he followed after you.

“I do.” He was keeping a large space between the two of you, whenever you tried to walk closer to him, he would move away but now when you were caught in the station with the crowd who were going home after work hours, you had to stay close to him.

You were being pushed against Kokichi thanks to the crowd trying to walk out of the station and he didn’t complain about it. Kokichi didn’t look at you, he thought about the things he read on the internet instead.

‘If you want your date to consider you as manly, you have to invest yourself to talk to her.’

“Your dress looks cute.” Kokichi came up with ‘the compliment her outfit’ route, he had seen men flirt before, he could do it too.

He stared down for a moment to see your reaction.

Bingo!

You smiled brighter than the sun, you played with your hair to give him a playful answer. “Thank you, I wore this just for our date.” Your eyes shined with small sparkles in them. “I really like your collar.” You pointed at his face, not too close, hesitant to invade his personal space. I’m here with his puppet not him, you reminded yourself.

“Thanks.”

When the two of you finally exited the station, you walked alongside him.

“Where to?” He nonchalantly asked while you were looking around the streets.

“What about karaoke?” You gave him an inviting smile, “It’d be fun.”

“Whatever you say.” He wasn’t sure which way you were taking. There was the main street and Kyoto's red-light district, of course, he knew you wouldn’t be going there. “Which street are we going for?”

You pointed to your right, “The main street, there is a karaoke place I know.” Your smile altered when you noticed how this time when you walked together to cross the street, it was close, your shoulder touched his fake biceps.

“I’m not good at singing for obvious reasons.” Back in his bathtub, Kokichi said it in a joking manner but thanks to the cursed puppet, it sounded a lot as if he was annoyed about the idea of going into karaoke. He bit his tongue and cringed, waiting for your reaction.

“You can still try, can’t you?” You gave him the best puppy eyes you could. “For me?”

Kokichi blushed but you weren’t able to see it through Mechamaru. “Y-yeah.”

“Oh, I didn’t know robots could stutter.”

“I didn’t stutter and I’m not a robot. This is a cursed puppet and sometimes the commands I give are interrupted, that’s why I-”

“You’re so easy to tease just as I guessed!”

Kokichi covered his mouth with his hand, watching you giggle at him through his screen.

“Here it is.” Pointing at a sign, you grabbed his arm and dragged him with you.

While you were showing him the prices, he was busy staring down at your shirt. He could… he could see your cleavage.

“The menu says they serve alcohol at this hour! Ahh, the prices are cheaper than the last time too! We can share the tab-” You stopped yourself from talking. Silence brought him out of his trance. “Oops, sorry. You can’t eat or drink through Megaman, right?”

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. “No, I can’t… But it’s on me anyway.”

“You’ll pay?” Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars. Your pouting lips and hand on his chest didn’t help.

Kokichi looked away, blushing. “Y-yeah.”

“Y-you’re the best!” Mocking his stuttering, you offered him a cute smile. Then you went on to drag him inside while telling him about how this place was the best karaoke place in Kyoto because they served desserts and your favorite cocktail. All the while renting a room for the two of you.

“Would you like to share with others?” The employee asked.

“No.” Your answer was instantaneous.

Behind the register, the employee stared at Kokichi and down at you. It was easy to tell he thought the two of you were a mismatch. “Your room is to the left, you can order through the smart tablet. Have fun.”

“Thanks,” you said before walking past the register. When Kokichi caught up with you, you turned around. “Did you see the way he stared? So lame!”

“Well, anyone would have stared if they saw a pretty girl next to a robot.”

“So, you’re accepting you’re a robot?” You grinned, opening the door to the private room.

“That’s not what I meant!” He didn’t know what he was expecting. From the way you texted, he should have known you were this childish and unable to have a serious conversation.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing.” He closed the door behind him as you were ordering as many drinks as you could. Once he noticed you were about to order the entire menu, he barely managed to stop you by taking the smart tablet away from your hands. “Hey, I’m not rich!”

“It’s cheap, trust me!” You pouted your lips again, reaching for the smart tablet he was holding above your head.

His stare found the menu and froze. It was cheaper than he had thought like you said. He had never been somewhere like this, nobody could blame him for it.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice,” he said as he handed the device back to you.

“I was showing you the menu earlier, you weren’t listening, were you?” Your smile widened, eyes squinting knowingly.

“I was listening! You’re talking way too much, I can’t keep up!”

You crossed your legs, continuing to add stuff to your order.

It got quiet.

Realizing what he had said was rude, he apologized.

“It doesn’t sound genuine.”

“It’s because I’m talking through a puppet.”

“Exactly.”

You weren’t looking at him. Putting the tablet aside, you leaned back on the soft cushions. The mood had changed. When you weren’t talking, it was too quiet.

Decidedly, he walked over to the karaoke machine and grabbed two microphones. He sat next to you, placing one of the microphones next to you as he reached for the tablet.

There were way too many songs in the system and he knew none of them.

Scrolling further, he found Takada-chan’s songs.

“You like Takada-chan?” you asked, noticing how he had stopped scrolling.

“No,” he replied. “My friend-” Was he really his friend? “My friend likes her, he won’t stop talking about her and all.”

“I like her,” you said. “I’ve been to her meet and greets many times but they’re always ruined by some buff dude who has the most tickets. He’s always at the events, kinda creepy but seems like he supports her. He once beat up some guy who insulted her.”

Kokichi didn’t say anything. He didn’t want that guy to be the icebreaker on his date.

“Creepy,” he uttered before putting the tablet on your lap. “You should sing, I don’t know any of these songs.”

“None of them?” You raised a brow.

“None.”

“You’re so boring,” you murmured, clicking on the first song you saw.

The loud music filled the room and his hideout. You tapped on the microphone, “Check, one, two. Kokichi is sooooo boring!”

Your laughter was the next thing that filled his hideout. He chuckled but it came out as a static noise through Mechamaru.

While you were singing, the same employee came with two trays full of drinks and snacks, he left them on the table before leaving immediately. None of you paid any mind as you were changing the lyrics to tease Kokichi.

“Are those really the lyrics?” he asked.

“Yep!”

Another giggle.

Too cute.

Very cute.

He watched you stop singing for a brief moment to chug down your third drink. Your cheeks were flushed red from the booze and your neck was sweaty, you kept fanning your hand towards your face.

His gaze focused on a particular sweat droplet on your neck and idly watched as it drizzled down to your cleavage before disappearing under the fabric of your dress.

Kokichi tried focusing on something else but he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from you. Every single thing you did was seductive. When you bit onto a small rice cake or the way your lips closed around the straw of your drink and how your cheeks hollowed when you tried sucking the last bits of your cocktail in your mouth.

The last drop had to be when you grabbed an ice cube from your drink and held it over the skin of your chest.

His hand pressed on his lower half. He was thankful he wasn’t physically there or he would have been labeled as a pervert. Under the soothing medical liquid, he had a problem you didn’t need to see.

You weren’t singing anymore but the music was playing nonetheless to suppress the silence as Kokichi was practically undressing you with his eyes.

“Heyyy, Kokichi~” you slurred, sitting closer to him. “You’re being too quiet!”

Taken aback, he spoke. “I’m not sure what to say?”

“Just talk…” you whined, putting a hand on his knee.

Oh, how he wished he could feel the warmth of your hand.

“Or better… Sing!” You held a microphone up to his face.

“I can’t sing,” he reminded.

“You said, you’d sing for meee~”

He blushed, taking the microphone from your hand. “I don’t know the lyrics.”

“It’s on the screen.”

Yes, the lyrics were on the screen.

He felt embarrassed, this was stupid. He wasn’t even actually in the room with you but he felt so nervous. His actual hands were shaking as he gulped.

When he started singing, you started laughing.

The static made it sound like he was an actual robot. Yet, Kokichi didn’t stop despite how tone-deaf his voice was coming through Mechamaru. He wanted to make sure you were having fun but the music stopped.

Both of you stared at the notification on the tablet, asking if you wanted to add another hour to your stay.

Had it already been an hour? Time was going fast when you two were having fun.

You looked at Kokichi.

He pressed to accept.

The music continued playing.

This time, Kokichi didn’t sing. The two of you started chatting about everything and anything until there was a lull in the conversation.

“Lemme see your hand,” you said, reaching your own towards him. He slowly placed his hand on your open one and you compared the size. “Wow, your hand is hugee, is your real hand this big?”

Funny, if not absurd. You were on a date with a puppet but you were getting turned on.

“It's the same size as my own hand.” His gaze dropped to his actual body. “At least one of them.”

“Can you feel that?” You intertwined your fingers with his.

“No.” He wasn’t looking and he didn’t need to look. The depressing realization that he was always going to watch people behind a screen and in this damn bathtub was starting to sink in once again.

“Can you feel this?” You were giggling.

“I told you, I can’t feel-” His breathing stopped at the sight of you pressing his hand on your breast.

“I wanna meet you, Kokichi~” Smiling enticingly, you sat closer to him. “It’s no fun when I can’t see if you’re blushing right now.” Your hand over his hand moved on your breast, the supple flesh jiggled under the front of your dress. “Are you blushing right now?”

“I am.” His answer was instant.

“You know,” you started, putting your free hand on his thigh and lifting your leg up on the cushion to face him. “I got all dressed up ‘cause I wanted you to lose your composure. You sounded so uptight and stoic. I wanted to see you lose it.” Tilting your head, you puckered your lips. “But you didn’t even come to our date.”

“I did.”

“Megaman did.”

“Mechamaru.”

“I wanted Kokichi to come.” You pulled his hand away from your breast and led it down to your stomach and even lower. “I wish you were here so you could feel how wet I am.”

“(name),” he said. “I can’t feel my fingers through Mechamaru.”

“Mm?” You placed his hand under the skirt of your dress. “But I can feel them.”

Kokichi’s actual hand started shaking in excitement as Mechamaru’s fingers brushed against your panties.

“Can’t I meet you?” Your voice was faint compared to the music but he heard it. “I wanna meet you.”

“You’ll be disappointed, I don’t look… normal.”

“You don’t look normal right now either.” Biting your lip, you moved against his hand. A soft gasp left your lips. “Yet, I’m so turned on right now.”

There were a thousand different thoughts invading his mind but Kokichi felt like he was hypnotized by your hips.

“Kokichiii, move your fingers,” you whined softly, your eyes hazy with lust.

“I need to see them,” he said. Back in his room, his own hand was pressing down on his growing erection. “Or I may move them wrong.”

“Pervert~” you teased, lifting the skirt of your dress up.

He didn’t say anything, instead focused his attention on your soaked panties. How long had you been this wet? From the moment you two rented the room or-

“Kokichi.” Your needy voice brought him out of his dirty thoughts. “You don’t have a cock under your pants, do you?” Your hand pressed against Mechamaru’s groin.

For the first time in his life, Kokichi felt his entire body jolt. Your vulgar way of asking was enough to get him rock hard. “No-”

“What a waste.” Sulking, you retrieved your hand. “But are you hard right now?”

“I… I am.”

A dangerous glint sparkled through your eyes. “If only you were here… I’d make you feel sooo good.”

Mechamaru’s fingers pressed against your clothed folds before moving along them. A soft moan left your lips and you balanced yourself on your hands.

“I look like a freak-”

“You keep saying that.” Your hips moved against his hand. “As if that matters to me.”

Mechamaru slid your panties to the side and spread your folds with two of his fingers, he carefully watched as wet strands connecting them together broke apart. Kokichi’s own hand was pumping his cock.

“What are you doing right now, Kokichi?”

“I’m putting a finger inside.” He inserted one of his fingers inside you.

“No, what are you really doing?” You bit your lip.

“I’m… I’m jerking off.”

Satisfied with his answer, you crossed a leg over his to settle on his lap with your back against his chest. Spreading your legs wider, you allowed him a better view of your wet pussy. Mechamaru’s digits slid inside as Kokichi moved his hand along the length of his cock.

Mechamaru’s other hand went to cup your breast over your shirt, making a moan escape your lips.

His fingers were reaching deeper than your own fingers ever could. The digits moved in a scissoring motion and curled against your gummy walls, pressing against the spot that made your vision blurry.

“Kokichi,” gasping, you squirmed on his lap, your back arched when his thumb grazed over your clit. “I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Kokichi’s hand tightened around the tip of his cock, he pulled the sensitive skin down to expose the pink tip and massaged it using his thumb. When his hand started moving along his cock again, the device helping him talk through Mechamaru picked up the clicking sound rather than the medical fluid splashing.

You moaned at the realization of what you were hearing.

The feeling of the metallic firm fingers stroking your clit made your hips buck against his hand. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, panting, you pressed your thighs together.

Mechamaru’s hand on your chest moved down on your thigh to hold you in place as his fingers inside your pussy started to vibrate. The sudden pleasure made you scream but the loud music concealed it.

Kokichi couldn’t breathe normally, his pulse had gone haywire as his hand was moving hastily around his cock while Mechamaru’s digits were messing you up.

“S-s-s-stop!” Your voice broke into a moan.

“Do you really want me to stop?” He barely managed to ask, his hand wouldn’t stop.

You shook your head rapidly, biting your lip.

Your walls clenched around the digits, sucking them in deeper. Kokichi’s own hand was moving faster than his heartbeat. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and his shoulders tensed.

He was close.

From the way you were shaking, he could say the same thing for you.

So, when Mechamaru pushed his digits further inside, the vibration got stronger and stronger until your legs shook. The pleasure that was building in your gut suddenly got released, shaking you to your core.

Kokichi followed suit, his cock spurted thick clumps of cum and they landed on his stomach, his bandages absorbed his seed.

By the time he caught his breath, he realized you were still on his lap.

Mechamaru had gone limp as he had gotten distracted because of his orgasm. He revived the cursed doll while you were trying to fix your dress.

You wanted to say something but you couldn’t find something to say.

To your rescue, the music stopped.

The tablet had the same notification from before. Informing you that the second hour had ended and if you wanted to rent the room for one more hour.

Kokichi leaned forward and pressed on the tablet to end the session.

“We’re leaving already?” you pouted your lips.

“You said you wanted to meet me.”

Kokichi watched as the brightest smile he had ever seen formed on your face.

After he paid the tab the two of you exited the building as he held you up with one hand because your legs weren’t functioning properly.

“The employee behind the register noticed your wobbly legs,” Kokichi said.

“You think so?” you whispered, cheeks and ears colored in bright red.

“He was looking, so, yes.”

“You kinda went overboard by using Megaman’s vibrator hands.” Your giggle filled his ears and he smiled to himself.

“It’s Mechamaru.”

[fluffynexu]

marriage and birthrate in the empire

like with many cultures and societies, the empire has its customs and norms when it comes to things like marriage.

for the vast majority of ppl in the empire, sith or imperial, monogamy is the most common type of marriage seen. and within monogamous unions the couple can be of any combo of gender or sex.

for simplicity’s sake the color code is as followed: RED, female BLUE, male PURPLE, trans/nb/intersex

those in higher castes have more stipulations, considerations, and thought put into their partners rather than those in lower castes who can casually hook up with whoever they want.

another type of marriage that is seen, though not very commonly, are polygamous marriages.

with a poly marriage there is the head of house (crown icon) and the spouses/consorts (no crown).

these unions are typically only seen among sith families with prestige and history, but it’s not completely unheard of for some imperials to have them as well.

a monogamous marriage can turn into a poly one. if the head of house is like “hey, there’s this person i met... and i kinda like them? maybe if you vibe with them, i can bring them into our union?” and their spouse says “cool beans.” then yea, more spouses lol.

within a poly union, all children must be of the head of house’s bloodline. and the children produced with the first spouse (grey box) become the household heir(s)... usually.

and while all of the spouses/consorts may be married to the head of house, any/all parties can engage in whatever intimate activities they want with each other. the only “unacceptable” thing would be to produce any children that does not involve the head of house.

so you could have two husbands or wives that are way more into each other than the head of house. and it’s all seen as totally cool and fine. such attitudes however are more common among the sith than with humans.

now speaking of heirs.

for those in the upper castes, having An Heir of some sort is important and kind of a big deal. it’s part of the reason why getting juuust the right marriage partner is so important. it’ll usually be a thing the families discuss and negotiate over months or even years.

it’s serious business... lol.

but regardless of type of marriage (monogamous or poly), there is the one getting married (crown) and the one being married off (no crown).

those that are married off take the family name of their spouse and all resulting children of the union have that family name.

with the children you’ll either have an heir or a chosen heir.

in the GREEN circle up above you have an example of a plain, regular heir. that is to say, the firstborn.

in the ORANGE circle you have a chosen heir. not the firstborn.

there could be a myriad of reasons on why the family decided on a chosen heir over a regular one. maybe the oldest kid is a dumbass and fucks up. maybe they died before getting married. maybe the kid didn’t want that responsibility. etc.

again, as we move down the caste ladder, the less and less important all these inter-familial details become.

most “common” folk simply hook up with whoever they like, have kids, and their kids go off and do the same. they may not even take on their spouses name depending on how much they care about that.

just on a side note, if the married couple isn’t capable of producing children by themselves modern medicine and technology can help. or if the option exist, they could go the old school, natural route.

for example, among same sex sith couples (PINK rectangles) they will look for and hook up with other couples and... help each other out.

these unions don’t happen too often since they’re only there to make the babies and go on their way lol. though, the two families could stay connected and friendly if they wish.

now this is a lot of pomp and circumstance to get some babies! and you’d be right lol.

bringing in some REAL LIFE FACTS lol, but here’s how things went down and are going down for ppl irl on earth.

you see everywhere on the planet, before the advent of industrialization, you had populations like this.

all the babies. so many babies. but not too many old folk. 

and it’s obvious why. no birth control, lack of modern medicine, famine, diseases, wars, etc etc etc. a lot of ppl died before getting ripe and old.

nowadays, or at least among the Wealthy Industrialized~ nations, it looks something like this.

also a couple of real graphs just to show how drastically things have changed.

a lot less babies!

this is attributed to a LOT of things. full super in depth research here if anyone wants: https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate

but in short... yea. birth control, women being educated and being allowed to work means they don’t have to just pump out kids. (which is GOOD btw). and the fact we have a lot more food and access to medicine means more ppl are living longer.

this ofc, is leading to Actual problems tho. bc if you don’t have enough New Ppl to replace the Old Ppl... yea, there will be some societal issues. now, i’m so nOT an expert but imho countries like the US could off set this by... immigration. by letting other ppl into the country to make up for a declining birthrate... but i digress!

within the empire you could have something like this during wartime where you’d have a portion of your adult population go off to fight and probably die.

but the IDEAL is this:

a perfect square of population if you will lol.

as older generations age out and die off, you have newer generation to fill their roles and keep the imperial dream going.

now unlike some modern countries irl that do a terrible job of trying to incentivize young adults into having kids (we all know who lol), the empire aids and supports parents 110%.

paid leave (for both), govt run daycares and schools so that when the kids are old enough to go to those the parents can focus back on their work. either tax breaks or monthly allowances from the govt to help pay for the kids. and usually, extended familial support is more common in the empire. so the question for most ppl in the empire isn’t “do you want to have kids?” but rather “when are you having kids?”

if however someone just vehemently opposes the idea of being a parent, there is no down side. the empire will not force parenthood on ppl since that’s a terrible idea for everyone involved.

that’s basically it... a more informal and jumbled post i know lol.

a few side notes?

teen pregnancy isn’t really a thing. if it happens the attitude is “you’re basically a child so no, you’re not gonna have baby.” (abortion is seen as a health service)

when imperials join the military at 20 (the legal adult age in the empire) everyone, regardless of sex, gets a birth control implant. bc having a lot of young adults close together... ppl are bound to get horny and you don’t wanna have the possibility of anyone having kids in inopportune circumstances so yea. they can have the implant removed whenever their mandatory service is done and get straight to making babies if they want lol.

children born out of wedlock def exist. very frowned upon in upper castes. not really a big deal with lower castes.

can you adopt kids. yes. and unlike rl where you have to pay lots of money, you don’t really pay anything. but the govt will require a lot of forms and check ups and visits and etc etc.

can adopted children become house heirs? yes. if that is the wish of their parent.

god the drama and tropes there must be in their media... “well your father is a lesser consort, so how bout you stfu!” “D:<”

are there “pure love” marriages in upper castes? yes. but a lot of drama revolve around those depending on who is the one being married off.

also, sith can and have been totally disowned if they decide to marry someone without their family’s approval. (this is serious business for them! lol)

y’all are free to send me questions or comments or whatever.

[tandaforever]

Some personal shit that I need to get out, don't mind me.

I had a pretty rough night, freaked out over something stupid as usual, and the article added to my overall dark mood. But I kept on keeping on, reblogging posts, supporting them the way I can. Reminding myself really, why I'm here.

Didn't sleep well though.

This morning, woke up to a msg from my sister who lives halfway across the world, asking What do you think about the Armie Hammer situ?

Now, when she was here, I mentioned cmbyn a couple times, how it's my favourite movie on one of our road trips. But other than that, she doesn't know who Armie Hammer is.

All I could reply back though, is he hasn't been charged and I believe he's innocent until proven guilty. I felt like a robot saying it, but I couldn't go beyond that. Because I know her, she means well, but it takes too much to convince her of anything different once she's made her mind up.

Her reply?

So you just want to keep watching “Call me by your name”

With a clear mind...got it! 😜

That was hard to swallow. I wanted to say no, that's not it at all. In fact, I haven't seen the movie in a while, but even looking at gifs all day for the movie makes me both nostalgic and melancholy. It won't ever be like the first time I watched it in theatre, because for me, it will always link with Armie and Timmy. The movie means way more to me as a result. A clear mind isn't possible.

But it's still my favourite and I don't see that changing. As Armie said, love is a great motivater, and the story of Elio and Oliver, has often reminded me that love can be pure, beautiful, messy and heartbreaking. And we're lesser people without it. I fell in love with their story first. But what motivates me as I write this is the real life love of two people I adore, two very good people, and no matter what happens or what anyone says, I will never regret supporting them, even for a second.

Then she called me as she walked home, slightly drunk, so that I can keep her company. I stayed on the line so she can feel safe.

Apparently she was at a bar with her buddy, who she felt the need to say is gay, and he loves the movie but told her about the scandal.

She went on to describe Armie as an entitled, rapist cannibal. Now her and my other sister, swallow every PR shit out there, but this.. was from word of mouth. And I swear I felt like she punched me in the stomach. But I couldn't hang up. She reminded me that a good majority of ppl out there, believe every lie they're sold. Her buddy believed it and so does she.

I wish I was the sort of person to defend Armie irl, but I tend to compartmentalize. Only two ppl know of my fandom, my former roommate and best friend, my other sister.

My best friend used to check up on me, asked if I wanted to talk, but he doesn't anymore because I'm extremely private when it comes to this.

Only among you do I feel safe enough to share. We've been through it together, we have the same shared experience. And you have no idea how appreciative I am that you're still here. I may not talk to you, but I hear you, and your voice gives me strength.

And if you read thru this, I want to say thank you. Thank you for reblogging, for the manips, for the jokes, for the art, for looking at all the facts and picking apart the lies, for all the words of hope and support. Keep doing what you're doing until you can't. It's that simple. But if anything were to change, your time here wasn't wasted. I'm sure of that. When I'm here on this app, I'm not alone. And it's because of you.

I believe in them, I believe in him and I believe in us. EGBA.

[bella-donna418]

Happy Birthday Eren!

A/N: Been very half inactive here 💀💀💀

So it’s our special boy’s birthday today, I might as well make a headcanon like how I did with Mikasa and Falco's birthday (missed Annie’s birthday but like, I celebrated her bday IRL 😂😂😂)

And…

Actors AU again wew 😂😂😂

(Please don’t mind the timeskips)

~~~

Birthday boy's day today, so might as well make something for him 👉👈

Let’s go!

Mikasa was literally sitting at the nearest chair she could find in the set and of course;

It's her boyfriend’s birthday today and there’s no fucking way she'll forget about it.

But she can’t just let him get away without revenge!

That’s right, last time on her and Falco's birthday—Eren pranked them.

At least they got surprises and all—

But that’s not the point!

She needs to at least prank him back—worse than what he did. (evil ik 😔😔😔

But he did “indirectly” made her cry that time.

So she decided she’ll also prank him back then surprise him.

An idea then popped into her mind and she couldn’t help but grin to herself.

“Mikasa!” Sasha called, snapping her back to reality from her ‘annual brainstorming’.

She shook her head and looked at her, confused.

“Director is calling you.” She said while munching on a cinnamon bun (usual Sasha)

“Right.” She smiled sheepishly and stood up.

.

.

.

After finishing her scenes and all, she got back to brainstorming.

Oh, it’s also her break time so she could go wherever she wants, but she decided to stay and think for a while more.

Then an idea popped into her mind and she couldn’t help but laugh a bit to herself. And that prank was her ignoring Eren 😈😈😈 Knowing him, he wouldn’t care if other people ignored him. But he'd be worried asf and he could go crazy if she did (your Eren cares about Mikasa’s attention “only” your honor 😔😔😔) And the beautiful cruel woman mode is on. Eren was going to pick her up today for lunch since he also finished his tapings and all (also Armin and Annie's with him) He got out to wait and greet her like he always does. ~~~

Earlier…

Since EreMika and AruAni share a car (lol cuz why not?), knowing that Annie and is the earliest to finish.

Mikasa decided to call her, knowing that she’s the earliest to finish out of all of them, and Armin's probably busy at that time.

“Yo, Annie!” She casually said trying to stifle her laughter (Annie knows what’s up lol)

“What? You’re gonna ask another favor again?” (told ya)

“Can’t I just greet my friend? 🥺” Annie sighs over the phone and said, “What is it?”

Now this is when it gets ✨interesting✨

She told Annie all her plans and she decided to go along with it.

“Oh, tell Armin as well.” where she just received a hum as a reply.

Mikasa saw a glimpse of Eren at the entrance of the building and immediately went somewhere she can’t be seen.

The prank starts now 🤡

She immediately composed herself and put on her poker face.

Eren saw her from afar and smiled at her.

She literally feels sorry for him (😂😂😂)

~~~

5 mins earlier…

She was now facing the camera and she could tell that once Eren watches this he'll go “berserk”. (wild Eren 🤡🤡🤡)

“Eren, if you ever see this, I'm sorry. *awkward laugh* Happy birthday to you my loves. I love you.” (literally said that 😂😂😂)

She passed by him without even saying anything—she’s not even smiling! (Mikasa putting years of being a top actress to work here 😂😂😂)

Eren just looked at her confused and caught up to her side.

She won’t look at him and this made Eren a bit sad and more confused.

From what he remembers, they never argued or anything at all.

He's also wondering, ‘Is she ignoring me?’ ‘Is she in a bad mood?’

Going with the second option, he decided to give her time and space like what he thought she needed.

They got inside the car. (well the car is actually like a van, but let me call it a car ok??? 🤡)

Ok, their sitting arrangement is basically like this;

Eren and Mikasa

Annie and Armin

Ok back to the topic—

Annie and Armin were looking at them—well, especially Eren.

“Annie, water.” She looked at Annie who was literally skeptical about her lasting long or even not laughing.

She gave Mikasa her water bottle receiving a smile of thanks from her—Eren looking at his lovely bae (poor Eren 🥺)

Heads up! Everyone knew about it, and yes, when I say everyone, it’s everyone (ok wtf am I even saying?)

So, they were silent for the whole ride and nobody’s talking.

Annie's asleep on Armin's shoulder while he’s busy on his phone.

Eren was stealing glances at Mikasa while she’s also on her phone.

Please, his face is like, “Please notice me already. I love you 🥺👉👈”

If you’re wondering where they’re headed to, they’re going to a restaurant Annie wanted to try (but she’s too shy to ask to the point Armin instantly read her mind and she’s like “H-huh? I said nothing—“) which is also far from their workplace/s.

After a mere hour and a half, they finally arrived at the restaurant, and yay, everyone’s awake! (Kudos to the 3 henchmen for enduring the urge to sleep the entire ride, especially Mikasa)

It’s a fine-dining restaurant (rich bitches 😔)

So they found a table which is good for all of them (driver and assistant included)

To add salt to the wound, Mikasa decided to sit beside Annie (Armin letting her)

Eren only looked at her—not used to getting ignored this long. Why exactly? Because;

She doesn’t ignore him without any reason at all.

If ever they get in an argument, they’d make up and her ignoring him won’t even last for a mere hour or so because y'know.

She has NEVER ignored him this long.

Eren just shrugged it off, but he doesn’t feel good about this.

A waiter finally came to take their orders.

They each had different foods and since Armin was the one to bring them here (Annie's wallet gets saved by bae 🥺), he's the one to pay for all of them which he doesn’t mind at all.

Mikasa was quite clingy to Annie as well while she just went with the flow knowing it’s all needed for her prank.

Even though she’s questioning if it’s really necessary 🙃

After 10 minutes, their orders are finally here!

And of course, hunger doesn’t wait for any kind of bullshit ceremony and all so digging in they go 🍽🍽

They were a few conversations, Armin initiating them because Eren is too quiet (just a few more hours to endure 🥺) and Mikasa doesn’t want to initiate them and cut Eren off because he’s always the one to reply to her topics (it could come off as rude 😅😅)

And of course, everything was being filmed (yes, their assistant is also a videographer 😗✌)

So it’s basically 85% silence and eating (pls they just need a speaker and it’s gonna turn into an ASMR) while 15% are their conversations/topics 🤡

Eren is also on his phone while eating (ok I can tell ppl gonna yell at me for this 🤡)

And Mikasa's taking this opportunity to take glances at him and she couldn’t help but literally laugh to herself and look at the camera then mouth ‘sorry’

Annie's still skeptical and Armin is trying his best not to laugh or something I mean, Eren's still looking gloomy (fact: he doesn’t care it’s his birthday at all and just cares about Mikasa and all)

After a few minutes, they finished and have paid so they’re now on their way back. But the thing is… ~~~

Sasha cam

“Yo, they’re almost back.” She said after looking at her own phone and seeing Mikasa's message.

They immediately went on double-time mode and so far, the room's looking quite ready 🤭

And since they’re freer later at night, they decided to do the surprise that time (poor Mikasa gotta endure more of this torture prank she put upon herself 🤡)

And of course, Sasha’s filming this ✌ ~~~

7:36 p.m

They’re finally free from the shackles of work!

And yes, they’re immediately headed for phase 2 of the surprise for our birthday boy.

So, trying not to encounter Eren, Mikasa immediately headed to the place where she’s going to meet Niccolo to give her the cake (yes, they planned this carefully)

So she finally got the cake and she's on her spot (they all have different spots 😂)

They’re now all on standby and of course, Mikasa went to Zeke so he could bring Eren to the lovely spot since yeah—

About 2 minutes passed and they’re still on standby—and finally, Eren's here!

Eren didn’t even hesitate to open the door and when he did, his eyes widened a bit.

“Surprise!” Everyone greeted him but his eyes were just locked at a Mikasa holding his birthday cake and smiling sheepishly at him.

She handed the cake to Ymir and Eren immediately ran to her —hugging her (he's glad that his suffering is over 🥺)

Mikasa laughed and hugged him back and whispered “Happy birthday” to him.

He broke the hug and pulled her in for a swift kiss making Mikasa surprised.

“Are we gonna eat now? Sasha might finish all of this if Niccolo will keep giving her free servings.” Ymir retorted making everyone laugh.

“Geez, I wasn’t expecting her to ignore him for a full day.” Historia sighed a bit which made Mikasa laugh lightly.

Eren looked at Mikasa with his brows furrowed a bit and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Don’t do that again—” He was cut off by Annie who was now in charge of holding the cake (Ymir do be passing all her chores 🤡)

“Blow the candles now birthday boy.” She said—him complying while arms still around Mikasa—everyone making noises with party blowers while spraying silly strings everywhere after (bear the bad writing 😂)

“Alright! Let’s eat!” Pieck said while giving plates, spoons, and forks to everyone for all of them to finally be able to eat.

Of course, Niccolo is the sponsor for all of their food to eat 😂

Eren was now being a clingy baby to Mikasa which is just 🥺✨

The atmosphere was filled with laughter and everyone telling funny stories and jokes.

Of course, afterward, they gave him their gifts while he smirked and was like, “Mikasa's the best gift—” receiving a smack on the head from her—everyone laughing saying he deserved it.

~~~

A/N: I, personally think this is poorly written 🤡

Sorry bout that.

But overall, happy birthday Eren! YOU’RE 20 NOW AND STILL ASSLESS— 🤡😂

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

genuine question here, how are you are a lesbian but are still able to sexually fantasize about fictional men? no hate just curious ✌️

heyyyyy, this got wayyyy too long so I'm putting it under a read more sksksk pls forgive me for the length but I hope what i've written makes sense and sheds some light on my sexuality :) if you have any other questions regarding this, I don't mind answering! I'll do the best I can to further explain my feelings bc none of this is organized sksksk

That's a very good question that I've asked myself a lot while trying to figure out my sexuality and it's taken me a while to come up with a suitable answer but it boils down to this: although I enjoy exploring topics in fiction does not mean I want it to happen irl, and I think this applies to a lot of stuff not just fictional men! Noncon, murder, angst, yandere, these are all topics that we as writers explore in a fictional setting but would never want to experience irl. I'm sure there's plenty of answers as to why ppl do these things, but at the center of these speculations is the fact that we do not want our fictional scenarios to come to life. No one truly wants to be nonconned by someone, no one wants to be stalked, no one wants to go through a painful tragedy, but we're still curious about exploring the possible feelings that we would have during these events and so we write about them.

Ik this is going all over the place sksksk bear with me my love. What i'm trying to say is that I like things in fiction that I don't want to happen in the real world. For example, I love true crime! Always have, probably always will, but just because I love learning about murder cases and serial killers does not mean I actually want people to go out and murder ppl in cold blood and leave a little breadcrumb trail for the cops to follow. Just because I like the concept of someone being obsessed with me does not mean I want to go through that in the real world (and I sadly have in the past). Same thing applies to men: I like fictional men bc I can put certain expectations on them and they will never do something I don't want them to do bc they literally don't exist. But when men approach me irl I am much more reserved and feel no attraction whatsoever. I don't hate men, but I feel a sense of unease when they flirt with me or get too comfortable when we don't know each other. Blame it on biology or my past experiences with men, but I just don't like them the same way I like women. I don't like the idea of a real man finding me attractive and trying to get close to me, putting his hands on me and kissing me or showing any kind of affection that is anything other than platonic. Maybe it's the trauma, idk for sure, but the thought of being with a man the same way as a woman just makes me uncomfortable and nauseous. I can't imagine it happening. I think it's different with fictional men bc I can control what fictional men do. If I don't want a fictional man to touch me, he can't. If I don't want a fictional man to hurt me, he won't. Fictional men are safer, they can't actually harm me, so I can do whatever I want with them and not face any consequences. Kinda like playing with dolls, making up little stories and giving them voices and pretending that they're real, but at any moment I can put them down and do something else without having to worry about facing any responsibility for my actions.

I feel like this is becoming more confusing than anything and I apologize if that's the case. It's difficult to explain how I feel because sexuality is not necessarily concrete: it's something that flows and changes and is malleable. For the longest time I thought I was straight but I just "never found the right guy". Then in college I thought I was bi but the only people I genuinely enjoyed being around were women, and I never considered that men could be attracted to me so when they did show attraction, it just went straight over my head bc I never saw them in that way. Now that I'm out of college and away from a homophobic household, I've realized that men have never made me feel special in the way that women have. When a woman smiles at me and shows interest, I get all bubbly and giddy and I can feel my body light up with excitement, but when a man does the same it just comes off as odd or creepy. Perhaps I am bi/pan but if I was and if I genuinely liked men, why wouldn't I have the same reaction to their attraction to me? Why do I feel nothing when a real man says that they like me? Why do I not pick up on hints that a man is interested in me? Men just don't give me the butterflies that women do, but who knows? Maybe, even after 23 years on this earth, I still haven't found "the right guy" that will make my heart flutter. But how long is it going to take for "Mr. Right" to show up? Why waste my time waiting for a man to come around when there's dozens of women that make me feel extraordinary already here? Knowing all of this information, it only feels natural to label myself as "lesbian" because no other label I've discovered fits me quite as right. It's the most comfortable label I've found for my strange predicament and it makes me happy!

Off topic but I once talked with a gay acquaintance about this, and he told me something he learned in psychology: he said that when we consume fiction, we do not accurately insert ourselves into that fictional world. Instead of just plopping ourselves into that fictional world, we create an image of ourselves that fits better into that world. For example, if we use Harry Potter and Hogwarts, we give ourselves a Hogwarts house in order to fit better into that fictional world. Similarly, we may change our looks, our gender, or our sexuality in order to fit better and feel more at home in this fictional setting. It makes it easier for us to consume fictional media and to make sense of it, especially when the content is hard to understand, like science fiction.

ALSO OFF TOPIC SKSKSK but I discussed this issue with my therapist at one point, talking about my sexuality and how I feel differently about men in real life and fiction, and she asked me if I would like these characters more if they were women. It took a while to think about, but at the end of the day I believe I would like my favorite characters a lot more if they were women, so perhaps I just like the characters for their personality traits??

TL:DR sexuality is v confusing and nothing is set in stone, so to make things simpler I just choose a label that I am comfortable presenting myself as. That label happens to be "lesbian" but I may change that label in the future. For now, I don't want to pursue a relationship with real men, so calling myself a lesbian makes it easier to deter men away from me and to pursue relationships with queer women.

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[dannydouni]

I got tagged by @faceless-dude for smth. And like. All I want to say is that you so much. Cuz I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for months and I didn’t know when would be a good time to post it. Or like update it or like just when I should do anything with it. So yeah. Thank you so much for helping me get the chance to post this :)))

“I’ve had this in my drafts for some time now probably since the Canadian thanksgiving and like only touched on it a few times, and well I never got to post it cuz I got well uuuhhh... shy I guess and at that time a lot of things were going down and stuff. And because of that I just felt like it had no meaning whatsoever anymore. So I thought I’d edit it a bit so it fits better and so I can finally post it and stuff.... sometimes it’s nice to get something out there after having it written down for so long. And well what better time to post it than now XD on New Years!. Anyways here it goes”

Hey guys, friends especially, ITS A NEW YEAR!!!!!! I just wanted to pop in and say that...well...thank you. And while I don’t really mean this directly to anyone so far (details for ppl that I know on this app will be written later on in this post). I know it’s usually super cheesy and just cringe and stuff but I honestly couldn’t care less about that stuff when it comes to the people close to me and to the people I love and care about. So I would like to take this opportunity to thank y’all. First and foremost. What the actual fuck guys. Why lmao. Out of everyone in this world you bunch picked the weirdest, ugliest and just straight up stupidest dude out there to be friends with XD, y’all do know there was much better than this out there right XD. I legit have no competition since I’m just so bad LOL. But still, for some reason, with all the shit I just listed y’all still decided it was a good idea to be friends with me. Y’all still decided it would be a great idea to stick with me up until now. Y’all still decided that I could belong with other people that I could fit it with you guys. That I could.... have genuine, real and just straight up amazing friends. I have absolutely no fucking clue how this turn of events happened. But I can say this with full certainty. You guys have changed my life. You guys are probably the main reason I’m still kicking around to this day lol. You guys are the reason I keep going and keep living and just keep enjoying the tiny gifts that life has to offer sometimes instead of pain XD. I still don’t and probably will never understand why or how god or life decided to be nice to me the few times I met one of you but I’m honestly so eternally grateful that I just... I have no words almost.... I just don’t know what to say sometimes. It’s honestly so out of this world how amazing and nice some of you are even tho I’m like the complete trash of this world XD. In all honesty.... without you guys I’d probably not even be here lmao... I’d probably would’ve just went on with my life with nothing to wish or hope for other than for the next day to pass even quicker than the last.... or just for days to just over as soon as they start... I won’t say more cuz that’s shit is personal and I’m not about to write that in public 😎. But like I know for sure that without you guys. I would not be here right now. So thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for all the memories you’ve given me, the countless nights you’ve made me die of laughter, The countless times you’ve made me choke and almost die from how funny something would be, the countless times you’ve made me think “damn I don’t ever want to wake up from this dream if this is not real”. Just thank you, for talking to me, for letting me vent, for letting me be there for you when you were there for me, for being my rock to lean on, for helping me go through the toughest of times like if it was a normal day. Thank you guys so much for treating me like an equal, for being friends with me, for playing with me, for inspiring me, for teaching me new things and helping me with anything I could ever ask for. Thank you guys so much, and while words will never be able to fully explain what I fully mean or what I fully feel. But I hope that this at least will give you an idea of how greatfull I am for you guys... i hope this will show you how thankful I am for you guys. I love you guys so much that the word love just can’t even express how much you guys truly mean to me. You guys have changed my life for the better and even tho I will probably never be able to repay that I’m hoping that I can do something to at least return how much y’all have done for me. And even tho a lot of the people I mean by this message are not on Tumblr I have a few that are and it is for that reason that I will thank you and write something for you guys here too. So here is the part for the specific people.

@frogb, Genny :)

Genny :D

GENNYYYYY >:D

Good God..... how are you even real XD well to start off, a quick intro :).... probably my only irl friend that is actually active on this app and of course MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER IN THE WORLD AND THE #1 PERSON IN MY LIFE >:), I want to take this opportunity to just thank you again (I know I’ve said a a bunch of times and you probably hate me for saying it a lot XD, that along with sorry :(((( I can’t really control that Lmao but I’m getting better at it right :D). You....you’re my best friend :)... you have changed my life for the better way too many times cuz. I’ve honestly lost count dude. I’ve lost count. I just want you to know that even tho I said that the first thing I wrote on this post was meant for a bunch of people. I was really mainly thinking about you when I wrote it. Ever since you’ve been part of my life. You have made sure to change it completely. And only for the good and for the better. I don’t think you have a genuine idea of how much you’ve changed my life and how much you’ve made me happy :)... thank you Genny thank you so much for being the best thing to ever happen to me. Genny you truly are the best most amazing, kindest, nicest, loveliest, most wonderful, most talented person I’ve ever met. Look I won’t write my full thing here since...well I’ll say the rest to you directly. But well .. Genny... I love you... I love you so fucking much alright :D thank you for being the highlight of my life. Thank you for being you Genny and thank you for being here for me and just being my best friend in the world :)

@ritsu-in-a-maid-dress , heyyy duuuudee buddy chum buddy pal XD (don’t ask lmao), I know we like met only a few weeks ago actually idk maybe at the point when I actually decide to post this it’ll be months or like a year 😳 (and if it is HOLY SHIT WTF I HOPE I ACTUALLY TOLD YOU SOMETHING IN THAT TIME CUZ DAMN) and well so far, you have been nothing but an amazing, way too nice, handsome friend that has somehow probably one of the sweetest hearts out there. You’re actually so fucking funny and have made my day much better sometimes just from the very few talked we’ve had lmao (correction now it’s actually been quite a few 😳and honestly they’re getting to much better and funnier so thank you so much for making me laugh :D (oh and I will never forget that one call we had for 3 FUCKING HOURS DUDE!!!! THAT WAS AWSOME!!!) ) and while at first I was very shy to even talk to you. I’m happy that I can comfortably say hi without any regrets or anything lmao. I will tell you something I’m very thankful for in dm too cuz it’s kinda private :) so yeah.... thank you so much for being you and being my friend :D

@quellfy yoooooo duuuudde I don’t think we’ve ever really interacted on here but I’ve talked to you on the server and well I can know from there that. You’re just such an amazing and kind person. And that every time we talk I have a great time :)) I don’t know a lot about you but I do know that you’re an amazing artist who has amazing art (yes even when it’s not sad “pointing at alluka in snow drawing” amazing) and that you’re such a kind and I nice human being who’s been just super nice and good to me :)) so thank you. For being my friend and for being such an amazing human being :D

@faceless-dude yooooo I don’t think we’ve properly talked before but like :))) I really think you’re an amazing person and just super talented. Your art is something I’ve never seen before and I really really think it’s unique and just amazing. Thank you for your wonderful wishes. And yeah dw. I plan on keeping that promise >:) Gen will get her booties kicked just like you asked XD

@kur-upira we probably only interacted a few times. But in those few times. I could tell what kind of person you are and how much of an amazing person you are :D. I can tell you that just from those few times. I was able to see how much of a beautiful, talented (yes holy shit. I cannot stress this enough. I love your artstyle and good god it’s so good everything from the actual drawings to the shading to the colouring. It’s amazing dude. I really mean that. It’s one of the most unique and most beautiful artstyles I’ve ever seen), friendly and just amazing human being you are :))) thank you for those few interaction (which probably took me whole days to respond to because of anxiety and bs XD sorry about that lmao) and yeah. I would absolutely love to get to know you better and to interact more with each other :D

@starrynarwhale, I know we like pretty much only interacted like twice with each other but from those few times. I knew that you were a wonderful person :) not just an amazing person. But a very talented one too :D (your art is amazing dude. It’s really great. Not only that but like. Can I just say that. Your frog gon fridays are godly dude. They’re always so fucking cool and wholesome 🥺🥺I love them so much. Amazing) you seem like a very kind and amazing person so yeah :)) I’d love to get to know you better :D

@catboyyouko yooooo. I know we probably have only interacted once but let me tell you dude. You’re a wonderful, amazing, nice, kind and extremely talented human being. (Dude you don’t understand. Your art is fucking amazing. Not only that but your comics are so goddamn great too. Not just in an art way but in a story way too. It’s just always so amazing) oh and also like... I see that you vent a lot and stuff and just wanted to let you know that if you ever needed someone to talk to or vent to. I’m here for you. I feel like you’re such an amazing person and I would love to get to know you better :) so yeah. If you ever need anyone to talk to. I’m here alright :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. I LOVE YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH

And if I didn’t @ you I promise It’s just cuz I’m too scared to bother you and @ Ing this many ppl has already made my anxiety skyrocket.