#but within 5 minutes in that clinic i was like

[burstingwithbellies]

Through a ritual, your womb becomes a magnet. Nearby fetuses are drawn inside, and memories rewritten; those were always your babies, so far as everyone else is concerned. You cannot control it either, no matter how many or how far along they are, if they enter a certain range, you'll bloat with additional passengers. The question is now, what do you do with this power? What happens to you that is outside of your control? How fast will you become?~

I had fun with it at first. I did have my very own superpower after all. Not a super conventional one; it wasn’t really practical but it was mine.

It made me feel powerful. Each step I took, I rewrote history. My womb sucked in all the children within my 2-foot radius. My skin and womb was elastic and super strong, capable of storing as many as possible.

And I was prepared to have my belly written down in the books. 5 weren’t enough for, 6 weren’t enough, 7 babies were pitiful. I wanted above 2 digits and wanted to be world-famous for my size.

I quickly reached my goal. At first, it was a headache finding a preggo until I realized that clinics exist. In just one stop, I swelled with 14 babies under a minute. Everyone in the room lost their bumps.

Also, with my power, no one really registers my growth spurts. As I grew, as far as they knew, what happened was that this colossal pregnant person in ill-fitted clothes stepped into their clinic. The parents who lost their bellies got their memories replaced with the thought of them only being in the clinc to find out their chances of fertility.

Everyone was blown away by the bump and amount inside of me. The nurses of the clinic quickly rushed me to the nearest doctor. Clearly, I wasn’t the type of person they were used to.

My womb took in children, no matter how big or small they were. Babies that were just about ready where mixed with a few weeks old babies. With the spell placed over my body, the smaller babies are able to catch up with the older ones but that usually takes a while.

So, I’m constantly swelling. But I can tell the difference between a growing baby or a new one added. A new baby was always jarring. It shook my whole system, letting me know intensely. My belly quivers in a way that makes me register that this baby is foreign.

I was content with the 14 I was gestating. They were all I needed at that point. I planned on delivering them after I’m picked up by the news.

One day, it happened: I had to appear for an interview on live television -- because of my fantastic fertility -- but before that, I needed to get some scans of my occupants.

They wanted photos of just how many babies there were. They need the proof. And it would have been nearly said and done, but one downside to my power is that… I don’t exactly have control over how many I can take in.

If I’m in the proximity of any pregnant person, their babies are as good as mine — whether I want them or not.

An hour away from the clinic and I felt a new one drop in. People under 20 weeks were so annoying. It’s hard to tell if they were pregnant and they would make me accidentally take in their child.

When I arrived and walked into th building, an 3 extra got absorbed, which was no biggie. 17 babies is still an amazing headline and manageable for me.

But the further I walked inside… For some reason, I didn’t anticipate all the pregnant people there.

I swelled like crazy. Before I could sit in the waiting room, I collapsed to the floor due to the overwhelming increase in my gut. Everyone looked at me in horror and questioned how I even managed to fit inside the building.

I… I don't know how much I was carrying anymore. Could I even go into my doctor's office and check? The weight was too overwhelming. It was starting to crush me and I felt faint.

It felt like several earthquakes were going on inside of me. I was trembling all over. Before everything went back, I saw my own flesh starting to cloud my version.

I feel like I might make international headlines now.

[harryyskiwii]

Summary: You get your wisdom teeth removed and Harry looks after you.

Pairing: Boyfriend Harry x Reader

Word count: 2,290

A/N: Thank you to the lovely follower who requested this! I had fun writing this. hope you enjoy it!

The day you had been dreading was finally here; the day were had to have your wisdom teeth removed. You were grateful that Harry was able to take the day off to come with you and look after you. To say you were nervous was an understatement and you couldn’t hide it.

“You’re shaking love” Harry remarked as he looked across at you for a brief moment while he was driving and placing his hand on top of yours to help comfort you.

You hadn’t noticed were visibly shaking but you looked down and saw your shaky hands, you sighed in frustration.

“I hate this” and Harry smiled sympathetically “I know you do babe. Just think, within an hour it’ll all be done and we’ll be back home. I’ll be with you the whole time, you can squeeze my hand as hard as you want” he offered and you smiled over at him.

“Fancy switching places with me?” You joked and he stifled a laugh “if I could I would babe but you’re gonna be just fine, think happy thoughts” he said, which was much easier said than done.

You weren’t being ‘put under’ for it since your dentist had assured you wouldn’t need it and that the teeth were “easily accessible” whatever that meant in dentist talk so you were more nervous that you would be awake the entire time.

He pulled up outside the dental practice and turned off the engine. You were sitting with your head against the headrest, trying to hold it together. You let out a shaky breath to try and slow your heart rate down.

“Breathe baby, you’re okay. Take a big deep breath in” Harry instructed as he helped you slow down your breathing. You did as Harry said and held it for a few seconds “and slowly out” he said and you blew out, trying to calm down.

“Better?” He asked and you nodded, keeping your eyes closed. “It’ll be okay, I know it’s scary but I won’t leave your side alright? I know you can do this” he said brushing a piece of hair away from your face.

You sighed once again and opened your eyes to see Harry looking at you sympathetically.

“Come on, let’s get it over with” he said as he encouraged you. You knew you had to do it, there was no way of getting out of it so you pulled yourself out of the car and took Harry’s hand for support as you walked into the dentist.

If your stomach wasn’t already doing somersaults before, it certainly was now that the all too familiar clinical smell hit you like a ton of bricks as soon as you stepped inside.

“I feel sick” you whispered to Harry “it’s okay, just try to slow your breathing down. Go and sit down and I’ll check you in” he said placing a kiss on your forehead.

You walked over to the waiting room and took a seat in one of the empty chairs. Luckily, there was only one older man reading a paper who was sitting in there with you.

You looked at your phone for the time, it was 9:55am, it only 5 minutes until your appointment. Your stomach felt queasy and you had started shaking again. Your heart stopped when you heard the waiting room door open but relaxed slightly when you seen it was only Harry coming to join you.

“You okay?” He said quietly while he was coming to join you.

“I’m great, never been better” you replied sarcastically and he laughed.

“Alright missy, enough with the sarcasm”

“Sorry, ignore me” you said to him.

“I’ll never ignore you” he said putting his arm around you for comfort. “How about after this we head home and have a movie day on the sofa?”

You nodded in response and it was quiet for a few seconds until the waiting room door opened again.

A young dental nurse came in and called for the man who was reading the paper. You were dreading your name being called next.

The thought of a man pulling 4 teeth out of your mouth while you were awake in just under 5 minutes, terrified you so much so that you were ready to stand up and leave, that was until the waiting room door being opened and you heard your name being called.

You must have looked like a rabbit in headlights as Harry chuckled a little next to you.

“Come on love” Harry said as he stood up and held his hand out for you to take.

You stood up, taking his hand and looking towards the door to see an older looking lady with dark brown hair which was pinned back with a claw clip.

“Morning darling! How are you today?” She asked kindly as you approached.

“Fine thank you” you replied sheepishly.

“Gorgeous day today isn’t it! I just love the sunshine, I wish it could stay all year round” she said cheerily as she led you back to the room. Her name tag read 'Anne' which comforted you a little bit as she sort of reminded you of Harry’s mum, Anne, who always chatted away and made you feel comfortable.

She was a bubbly woman who looked to be in her 50’s with dark brunette hair.

You couldn’t really concentrate on what she was saying however as you were just trying your best not to faint as you walked through the corridor.

Approaching the room, Anne held the door open for you “Here we are, on you two go in”

You walked in and a new wave of nausea hit you when you saw the dental chair.

“Hi y/n, in you come and take a seat” the dentist who was in his late 40’s said as you and Harry walked in.

You smiled sheepishly and said hello as you took a seat in the chair, Harry introducing himself to the dentist and then sitting down on the little couch that was situated by the window for friends and family.

“How are you today?” He asked as he pulled on a pair of gloves to get started.

“Fine thank you” you replied, your voice shaky as you couldn’t hide the fact you were scared.

“A bit nervous?” He said sensing your fear and you nodded “yeah, I’m not looking forward to it” you said and he smiled sympathetically.

“I completely understand, do you want me to run through how we’ll do it to try and put your mind at ease?”

You nodded and the dentist spent the next 5 minutes talking briefly over how the appointment would go. It did help put your mind at ease a little bit but you stomach was still doing summersaults.

“Think you’re okay to get started?” The dentist asked and you took a deep breath in and nodded your head before you could back out.

“Great, as I said just focus on your breathing the whole time and I’ll try get you out of here as quick as I can” he said which you appreciated.

You let out another shaky breath and tried to hold back tears as you really didn’t want to do this.

“You okay?” Harry asked and you nodded, tears filling your eyes. As soon as he asked you that, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

“Come here” he said coming over to hug you as you cried quietly into his shoulder.

“Aw darling, let me get you some tissues” Anne the nurse said when she noticed you crying.

“Talk to us, what are you most nervous about? Is there anything in particular we can do to help you?” She said coming over to you and handing you some tissues.

You thanked her and wiped away your tears. “Just all of it” you said and took a deep breath to try and compose yourself.

“Okay, how about you take a couple of minutes, have some water and we can take it from there? There’s no rush today y/n, take all the time you need. I’ll go and get you a bottle of water” Anne said placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder for comfort.

“We’ll look after you y/n, sit there for a few moments and we’ll start when you’re ready” the dentist said and you thanked him.

You sat with Harry for a few minutes, sipping on the water as he comforted you and hyped you up to get the tooth taken out.

“How are you feeling now?” The dentist said as he came to face you.

“A bit better now thank you, sorry I don’t know what that was I just got overwhelmed” you felt you had to apologise for your earlier emotional outburst.

“Don’t apologise, I don’t want you being upset. Do you feel as though you would be ready to start? It will only take 30 minutes max I promise” the dentist said to you and you looked to Harry who was crouching down by the dental chair.

“You can do this” he encouraged and you took a deep breath and nodded, allowing them to start the procedure.

The procedure actually went better than you thought with the teeth being removed in under 30 minutes. Harry was constantly by your side, rubbing and kissing your hand both as you were getting the injections to numb you and as the teeth were coming out. You were certain without him being there, you wouldn’t have been able to have gotten through it.

You were so relieved when the chair was being brought back up and you saw Harry smiling proudly at you.

“Well done my love, it’s all over with now. Just keep biting on that gauze for me” Anne said.

“You did really well y/n, especially considering how nervous you were. It was a straightforward procedure and the good news is the recovery time is only about a week” the dentist told you.

“I’ll go over some aftercare instructions with you but I’ll give you a leaflet also as I know it can be a lot to take in" The next few moments consisted of the dentist telling you how to look after the extraction sites and things to do and what not to do, not that you were taking it in as you were just relieved it was over and still in a bit of shock of what had just happened but nodded your head in agreement.

“Great. You’re free to go and as I said, if you have any issues, just give us a call”

Harry helped you to your feet and hold on to you as he steadied as you walked back to the car. Although you weren’t put under anaesthesia, you were numb, in shock and overall it was a slightly traumatic experience.

He helped you into the car before jumping round to the driver's side. "How you feeling?" he asked but he already knew the answer.

You rested your head against the window "Like crap" you were numb, certain you were starting to swell and tired from what you had went through.

"You did really well babe, I'm so proud of you. Let's go get a milkshake and we can go home" he said leaning over and placing a kiss on your head.

Within 30 minutes, you were back home in bed with Harry, with your milkshake and a spoon (Harry made sure you didn't use a straw as directed by the dentist) watching Netflix.

Watching 'The Night Agent' on Netflix, you felt your eyes closing as you fell asleep to the sound of the show.

It was the intense pain that eventually woke you up. You groaned as you opened your eyes "you okay y/n?" you heard Harry's voice ask you.

"It hurts" you told him, rubbing your eyes. He got out of bed and headed to the bathroom where he returned with a glass of water and some pain meds you had been prescribed.

"Take these love, it should help with the pain. The dentist said you'd start to feel something after about 4 hours"

"I've been asleep for 4 hours?!"

Harry laughed "You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you. Plus you probably needed the sleep after this morning"

"You fancy some soup? You'll be starving no doubt" he asked you as you took the painkillers.

You heard your stomach grumbled so agreed to some soup. "Yes please"

He made you some soup and sat in bed with you while you ate it before he ran you a bath. "I'm gonna go get you some ice babe, you're starting to swell" Harry said after your bath while you two were cuddling on the couch that night.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and you literally resembled Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks. "Fuck" you muttered as Harry walked back through "Caught a glimpse of yourself?" he laughed as he handed you the ice pack.

"I look like a chipmunk Harry"

"You're a very cute little chipmunk though. The dentist said the swelling was normal for a day or 2 so you'll be my little chipmunk for the next few days"

"I wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying about aftercare. I'll need to phone tomorrow and ask" You told Harry as you couldn't remember a thing they had told you.

"Luckily for you, you have the best boyfriend in the world who took notes" he said showing you his phone with a list of bullet pointed instructions. "Don't worry about it, I'll look after you babe" Harry said kissing your slightly swollen cheeks.

You smiled at him. You were so lucky to have someone as kind and thoughtful as Harry in your life.

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

broken trust. [epilogue] l Joel Miller

Summary:  you used to be very close, but he broke your heart, now your paths have crossed again

Warnings: +18, angst, smut, swearing, crying, unprotected sex (don't do that), unplanned pregnancy

A/N: this is the last chapter of this story. i wanted to thank you all for this journey. i didn't think i'd be able to finish it… but it was nice to write for these couple of wonderful people who always left some mark. you're amazing! i apologize for all the mistakes and shortcomings. I hope you will spend a few nice minutes reading my scribbles. a few people mentioned tagging - @vickie5446 @dreamtofus @missladym1981 @hiroikegawa 🖤 

[PART 5]

"Now you slowly release the clutch and press the accelerator. Slowly... Slowly..." the whole car shook several times "Ellie, calm down... It's nothing. You just have to..."

The car shook again and the engine stalled. A wailing groan escaped the girl's throat as she let go of the steering wheel.

"I'll never learn this." she sighed.

"Don't say that. You're doing really well."

"Really well?!" she repeated after you, and you wanted to laugh seeing her face "This fucking car has probably turned off a thousand times!"

"So what. Maybe if it turns off a few more times, you'll finally learn?" you lightly nudged her in the shoulder "Ellie, it's not the end of the world. Let's try again."

You had been sitting in this car for almost two hours. Ellie was getting angry the whole time, but she didn't give up. Finally, after a few more failures, the car slowly moved forward.

"Yes! Fuck, I did it! I did it!" she shouted in delight "See that? See that?"

"I see! You're doing great." you laughed "Now try to slow down and stop. Slowly... Ellie, don't kill Joel. Please!"

The car stopped suddenly and the girl turned off the engine. Happiness was written all over her face.

"Can we do this again tomorrow?" she asked excitedly.

"No problem." you replied and turned around as the door on your side opened "Oh! Hi, Joel. Are you back already?"

"Yeah, just a second ago." he glanced at you carefully and then his gaze moved to Ellie "You were supposed to watch her." he said seriously, although you could see the smile hiding in his eyes "Admit it, it was Y/N who talked you into taking her out of town."

"At this speed we'd make it to the gate in a week." the girl replied "And I keep an eye on her all the time! She's right next to me."

"I only left you for two days..." Joel sighed, but now he smiled "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Really!" you laughed seeing his look "I can't stay home all the time."

"But  you should. Come on, we need to change your bandage."

He offered you his hand to help you out of the car and slowly led you home.

Doc didn't want you to leave the clinic too soon, but you insisted. It wasn't until Joel suggested that you could live with him and Ellie for a while that they could keep an eye on you. You knew that Ellie felt guilty about what had happened, and Joel would feel calmer if you were close. So you agreed.

You moved into a small bedroom upstairs and within two weeks you really got into the place. Joel and Ellie didn't let you do anything for the first few days, and at least one of them was always home with you.

With some difficulty you convinced Joel that he didn't have to carry you up the stairs, you'd just walk really slowly. Then Ellie said that his old spine wouldn't last that long anyway, and you tried not to burst out laughing.

What was between you and Joel had calmed down too. You both felt like you were living in your own little bubble and you were fine with that. You saw him smile more often, and it melted your heart every time.

How could you know that his heart grew when he could go back home, where he knew you were. That was enough for him.

"You should take better care of yourself." he stated as you laid down on the bed and pulled up your shirt. "You still have stitches."

"I feel really good, Joel. You have no reason to worry." you replied, watching as he disappeared into the bathroom to wash his hands, and then returned to you with a small box prepared by Doc. "How was your patrol?"

"Quite normal. A bit boring." He replied, pulling up a stool and sitting next to the bed. "Did Ellie finally manage to start the engine?"

"Yeah, but she shook my soul out of me." You laughed. "She really wants to impress you, you know."

"She doesn't have to do that. But I'm glad you two get along so well."

His warm fingers slowly removed the dressing from your body and you both glanced at the healing spot. The skin was still slightly red, but the wound was fresh, so it didn't worry you.

"You were bleeding a little." Joel noticed, showing you a few spots of blood on the dressing.

"The stitches are pulling. I can't wait for Doc to take them out."

"Maybe you should have them a little longer?" he suggested, washing your wound and gently drying it with a clean towel.

"I suppose you think I should stay in bed until Ellie is of age." you stated and he smiled as he put a fresh bandage on you "I don't know what else I should do to make you believe that I'm out of danger.”

"Just be reasonable."

"Reasonable is my middle name."

Maybe you shouldn't have, but you really enjoyed your moments together. When he first touched you to change your dressing, it was almost intimate. It wasn't until a while later that you were both able to act more freely, and Joel made sure he wasn't hurting you.

For him, it was a nice feeling to have you under his roof. He missed what you used to have, but if what was now was all he could get - he had no intention of giving it up. Even though you were sleeping in the other room, you were alive, you were close to him, he could hear you.

You ate meals together, spent evenings together. You didn't flinch at his accidental touch, and it even happened a few times that when you entered the kitchen you stroked his back, Joel closed his eyes then because of this tender gesture.

He missed you even though you were right next to him. He missed being close to you, missed the warmth of your body. But he only had these few moments that were going to be taken away from him anyway.

It was getting quite cold and the sun was setting really early when you returned home smiling, although a little bit frozen. Ellie was curled up on the couch reading a comic book while Joel was adding wood to the fire when you stood in front of them and lifted your shirt to show your freshly healed scar.

"Doc took the stitches out!" you announced excitedly. "I should still be careful, but he says everything is okay now."

"Cool!" Ellie's face lit up. "How many scars do you have?"

"She should have as few as possible." Joel mumbled, glancing at the healed area from the surgery.

"I have two other pieces of news." you announced, sitting down in the armchair and smiling at them like you just won the lottery. "Since everything is okay, I'll go back to my place tomorrow. You can rest from me."

"No!" Ellie groaned. "And the second one?"

"I met Tommy. He said that since Doc doesn't see any contraindications, I'll be able to go back to my old activities soon."

Joel stood up. You noticed right away that he wasn't in the best of moods.

"I don't think you should come back so soon." he mumbled. "You shouldn't take risks."

"Joel, Doc says she's fine!" Ellie pointed out.

"Maybe, but she almost bled out on my hands. I don't want to risk that again."

Silence fell. The atmosphere became tense in an instant. All the joy you brought with you escaped like air from a burst balloon.

Joel avoided your gaze, but took a defensive stance.

"Ellie, can you go to Doc?" you finally said. "He said he could use your help. They brought him some supplies yesterday."

"Yeah, sure." The girl nodded, standing up and quickly putting on her jacket. "Just don't kill each other here." she mumbled and left, slamming the door.

You rested your elbows on your knees and intertwined your fingers, sighing quietly.

"Joel, you knew perfectly well that I wouldn't stay here forever." You began calmly, trying to choose your words carefully. "All of this was for a moment. Until I feel better. That was what you said."

"I just don't think you should go back to your duties yet. It's not safe for you." He replied, resting his hands on his hips and looking down at you.

"You can't watch over me all the time, Joel!" You groaned, getting up from your chair. "You have some kind of…obsession..."

"Obsession?!" He interrupted you mockingly.

"Yes! You can't control everything. You can't protect everyone. You know perfectly well that I can handle it."

"You almost died last time!" He growled.

"I'll die someday anyway, Joel. You can't save everyone..." You approached him and wanted to put your hand on his shoulder, but he stepped back. "I'm sorry."

You passed him and headed towards the stairs. You wanted to pack your things so you could leave their house the next day. You only regretted that the atmosphere had gone sour so quickly.

You were already halfway up the stairs when Joel's loud voice reached your ears.

"I love you." He said, his voice trembling. You saw that his eyes were shining in the warm glow of the fireplace, he was truly moved. "I've loved you for years. I should have told you in Boston, but I was afraid. I was too selfish, Y/N. I thought I wanted you to be safe, but what I really wanted was to have you all to myself. I wanted to hide you from the whole world like some fucking treasure. When I lost you, everything lost its meaning. I was alone again. It fucking scared me."

You swallowed hard, feeling your throat tighten painfully. Joel took a few steps towards the stairs.

"After all this time, I met you again. I don't know what I should do to atone for what I did to you, babe." he continued, and tears welled up in your eyes. "I almost lost you twice. I can't take it anymore... I love you. I love you so much it hurts. If you want to leave, I won't stop you. I can only promise you that as long as I live, I will fight to keep you safe." 

You didn't have time to answer. You opened your mouth, but Joel stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Tears ran down your cheeks.

He felt empty inside. Everything that had filled him for the past few weeks had simply fled. It was as if someone had woken him from a deep sleep by pouring a bucket of cold water over his head.

He was afraid again. He felt that his hands were shaking slightly, so he pressed them harder into his jacket pockets. He already regretted telling you what he felt, but at the same time he was grateful that he had finally managed to get it all out.

He had never told you that he often woke up at night, because he dreamed about that night when you were injured, it still kept appearing before his eyes. He could still see your blood on his hands, he could still hear your weak voice.

Over all these years, Joel had forgotten what it was like to love. Love only reminded him of the pain of loss, and he didn't want to experience that again.

And then you appeared and became his everything. He had someone close to him again. And Joel was hungry for another person, closeness, intimacy, even love. When you slept next to him, he would often stare at you for hours. He knew your moves, knew your routines. Maybe you didn't even know it, but you had created a semblance of home with him then. He never dared to tell you that.

The last few weeks have been really good. And now he was going to lose it all again? How much more loss did he have to experience in this miserable life...

You couldn't sleep. You lay in bed and listened to the sounds in the house. Ellie appeared only for a moment, saying something about spending the night at a friend's house, and then she left again. You suspected that she sensed the nervous atmosphere and didn't want to stand between you and Joel.

He hadn't appeared until now. The house was quiet, and the clock quietly ticked off the minutes. It wasn't until around midnight that you heard familiar footsteps on the stairs and the door closing on the other side of the hallway. You lay there for a while longer.

Joel left you completely shattered, with a jumble of thoughts in your head and tears streaming down your cheeks. You cried for a while longer before you finally changed into your pajamas and laid down in bed.

But you couldn't take it any longer. You quietly left the room and walked barefoot through the cool hallway. Although you put your ear to Joel's bedroom door, you didn't hear anything. So you pressed the handle and slipped inside.

The room was dark, but you easily made your way to his bed.

"Y/N? What are you doing?" his slightly sleepy voice rang out as you got under his covers.

You didn't answer. You moved closer to him. Joel didn't even move. He felt your warm fingers touch his stubbled cheek, the warmth of your body right next to him.

And then you kissed him. For the first time in so long, he felt the taste of your lips again. They were salty from tears, but soft, delicate, just as he remembered. You kissed him slowly and didn't protest when his arms gathered you so that you were lying on his chest.

He wanted more. He slid his tongue into your mouth and deepened the kiss. He caressed you, eliciting the most beautiful sighs he'd heard from you.

"I don't want to hurt you, baby..." he whispered as you stood up and with a swift movement took your sweatshirt over your head.

"I know, Joel..." you replied seeing his eyes shining in the dark "I'm always safe with you."

He stood up and sliding his fingers into your hair pulled you in for another kiss. It was strong and full of longing that had filled his heart for so long. You clung to him feeling how much you missed him too.

Joel's lips slid down your neck kissing then your collarbone and shoulders. Familiar fingers slid down your back and then you felt them find the scar on your side. He sighed quietly feeling the length of your wound under his fingertips.

"I'm fine." you assured him kissing his temple.

His hand slid lower. In the dim light from outside he could see a new scar, a trace from when you almost died.

"I love you so much, Y/N..." he whispered "And it scares me..."

"I know, I know..." you took his face in your hands and found his gaze "I'm scared too, but I love you and it gives me strength." his eyes gazed at you tenderly "Yes, I love you. I've loved you for a long time, even though I wanted to forget about it. But I don't want to go back to how it was when all we have is this moment. Make love to me, Joel. I want to feel you again..."

In an instant, he flipped you over onto your back, trapping you between his arms. Your lips collided again. You managed to take his shirt off and soon your hands could touch the body they knew so well.

He was yours. In that moment, you felt it completely. When he kissed your breasts, and his lips hungrily closed on your nipples, you felt the excitement growing between your legs. It was so familiar, and yet so new.

You were different people now, so this was different too.

You lifted your hips slightly as he took off your panties, kissing your thigh tenderly. His hands caressed your body, touching every spot that drew sweet sighs and moans from you.

When you noticed that his gaze had once again wandered to your scars, you helped him find his way back.

"I'm here, baby. I'm with you." You said quietly, touching his face and directing his face towards you.

His fingers slid over your juice-covered folds. Your body recognized him, his touch, his closeness. It was eager to feel him inside too.

"Tell me you want me..." he whispered as he slid down his pants and his hard manhood popped out of them.

"I want you, Joel. I always have and I always will."

"I need to be inside you, baby. Then I'll let you come on my fingers, on my lips, but first..."

"That's fine, baby. I'm in no hurry."

A faint smile appeared on his face. He grabbed his cock and ran the tip over your entrance a few times. When he pushed in slowly, you closed your eyes, moaning softly with pleasure at how well he stretched your walls. He pushed all the way in and Joel lay on top of you, hiding his face in that sweet spot by your collarbone.

"Fuck, amazing..." he groaned "I've missed this feeling. You squeeze me so good, baby."

"Move, please... I need you..."

When he moved for the first time, you already knew you were over the edge. His cock moved inside you slowly. Joel knew your body perfectly, he knew just how to hit you to make you let out all those moans he loved so much.

And he used that knowledge, you were falling apart under him into a thousand pieces. Your nails dug into his shoulders, but he didn't even feel the pain. All that mattered was you and that moment.

"I can't hold out much longer, baby..." he panted, thrusting into you harder and faster. "I haven't had you for so long..."

"I'm close... so close..."

He rose, threw your legs over his shoulders, and began to pound into you harder and harder. In an instant, your whole body trembled as you reached your peak. Joel groaned as he felt your walls tighten around his cock. He thrust a few more times, then pulled out, spilling himself onto your lower abdomen with a loud moan.

"Oh, fuck! Sweet Jesus..."

You were both panting heavily, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from each other. He didn't have time to react when you unexpectedly sat up, grabbed his neck and pulled him closer, stealing his breath from his lips.

"I love you..." you whispered "I love you so much..."

A few months later.

"Do you miss this?"

"What do you mean?"

Ellie glanced at you from behind the book she was reading and widened her teeth.

"You know what I mean." she replied "Patrols, searching for supplies, shooting..."

"I definitely don't miss that last one." you laughed, but then hissed quietly as you stuck the needle in your finger "Fuck! I'm not cut out for this!"

"You have to be patient. You told me the same thing when I was learning to drive, remember?"

"Too good." you mumbled sucking on your aching finger "It'll take me forever to sew these buttons on."

The door slammed and you both raised your heads. Joel entered the house bringing with him the smell of freshly sanded wood. He smiled at the sight of you.

"Finally!" Ellie jumped up from her armchair "I was supposed to meet up with my friends, and you don't seem to remember how watches work."

"Sorry, kid. Tommy wanted to talk." Joel replied, walking up to you and kissing the top of your head "Go, if you have to."

The door slammed shut immediately and you were left alone. Joel plopped down on the couch next to you, his large hand resting on your rounded belly. He smiled when he felt a gentle kick.

"You're getting bigger." he noticed.

"Fuck, Joel!" you laughed, putting the material and the needle aside "You saw me a few hours ago. I don't grow that fast."

"You just think so."

You shook your head in disbelief. "I think you and Ellie decided to tease me throughout the entire pregnancy. Don't deny it! This morning she asked me if I could still reach the kitchen counter."

"And you can?"

You nudged him hard in the side. "Asshole!"

The news of the pregnancy came to you unexpectedly. Joel still remembered your terrified look when you sat down in front of him and showed him the pregnancy test you brought from the clinic. Your period was already five weeks late, but you didn't have the typical pregnancy symptoms.

You stared at the positive result without saying a word for a long moment, afraid of each other's reactions. Finally, Joel spoke first.

"Do you want to keep it?"

"I don't know, Joel. My mind is blank..."

And then tears rolled down your cheeks. He held you in his arms, and you cried and apologized to him as if this pregnancy was your fault. 

That night you talked about all the possibilities, all the scenarios. You both knew that bringing a child into such a fucked up world was the height of selfishness, but you couldn't make any decisions.

When you fell asleep at dawn, he stared at you for a long time, thinking about it all.

You were his everything. After that night together, you didn't leave his house, but even moved into his bedroom. Joel felt complete, for the first time in many years. After many conversations, you found compromises that satisfied you both and decided to try everything again.

And now - pregnancy. 

He didn't wonder when it could happen, it didn't matter. What mattered was you. If you told him you didn't want this child, he wouldn't protest. But you weren't sure about anything...

However, when you stretched in bed in the morning, mumbling a quiet "Good morning", Joel Miller already knew what he should say.

"Whatever you decide, I'll be there for you. If you want this baby, I'm all in. And you need to know that I'll do everything I can to keep you and the baby safe. I love you, Y/N, no matter what."

He finally felt like he was in the right place. He wanted everything with you - a home, a family, a future. He was finally thinking beyond tomorrow and he loved it.

"I think it's going to be a girl." he said, watching you get up from the couch to make yourself some tea.

"Really? Why do you think that?" you laughed, pouring water into the kettle.

"Just a hunch."

"Uhm. I like it."

"And I like you."

You smiled, and Joel thought that this was what heaven should look like.

Just like you.

the end.

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[guilty-pleasures21]

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! You SUCK!

OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE!!! Maybe I really do suck?!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

6. Sigh. You're trash, you know that?

Part 1 - the machine

Part 2 - the period

Part 3 - the sparring

Part 4 - the socks

Part 5 - the sick day

Warnings: none.

----------------------------------------------------------

     She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get in a few more snoozes before her alarm went off. Maybe she just needed a few more minutes of sleep and she’d be good to go. She steadies her breathing, trying to slow her heart rate down enough for her body to slip back into unconsciousness. Then her phone vibrates on the headboard behind her. She scrunches her features in irritation and reaches for it, contemplating her choices. She could just try to get ready and force herself on the train to work in spite of her aching body then just lounge around at her desk for the rest of the day. Or she could get showered, walk all the way to the doctor’s clinic for a medical certificate and a bagful of unnecessary medications, then make the trudge back home and call in sick. She sat up and the effort it took to accomplish the simple movement solidified her decision. She sighed as she typed out the message to her boss and dragged herself to the toilet to get ready for her doctor’s visit: she’d be calling in sick today. 

     He clicked on the shortcut he’d created in the corner of his screen, pulling up her location immediately, then frowned when he saw where she was. She was still at home even though it was already lunchtime on a weekday. Had she just forgotten her watch at home? It wasn’t like her though: she’d always carry it around so they’d be able to reach each other no matter which universe they were in. And she had gone out for a bit - to somewhere close by - but she’d returned home within the hour. Miguel tapped his fingers on his desk, trying to figure out the appropriate level of worry he could express for the situation. Finally, he decided to just call her. 

     “¿Querida? ¿Qué pasa, mi amor? (Darling? What's wrong, my love?)” Miguel asked, trying not to sound too panicked: he didn’t want her to think of him as controlling or anything like that, constantly needing to be updated about her location and plans or he’d freak out and manipulate her into thinking she was a bad person or something. But his girlfriend didn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. 

     “Miguel?” she replied slowly, barely hiding the amusement in her voice. “Um, I … I think I’m going to have to break up with you for, like, a week or something …”

     He didn’t hear anything she said after that, the words ‘I’m going to have to break up with you’ playing in his mind on a loop. His heart froze and his breath caught in his throat, unable to move past the lump that had formed there. 

     “What?” he asked, sucking in shallow breaths as he tried to salvage the situation. “No! You can’t … We are not breaking up, querida, we … ¡¿Qué p*tas, arañita?! (What the f*ck?!) What the f*ck is wrong with you?!” 

     She laughed at his response, but the sound was weak, like she was struggling to gather the energy to do it. “I just … I just look terrible right now, Miguel! You can’t see me like this!” 

     She sniffled and he suddenly noticed the slight raspiness in her voice: like she was on the verge of developing a sore throat. He sighed, the knot in his chest loosening at the realisation that she’d just been joking. “Where are you?” 

     “I’m not telling you that!” she replied, adamant on not having him see her when she was sick. But she was sick and he wanted to take care of her: wanted to be useful to her and give her the chance to rest so she could get better quicker. He huffed in irritation as he hung up and double-checked her location: she was still at home. 

     “Hello? Miguel?” X frowned when he didn’t respond, then she grabbed her watch off her coffee table. She furrowed her brows when she saw that the call had been disconnected: had something happened? Maybe someone had interrupted him or he’d been pulled into an impromptu mission or something? Or … Her eyes widened suddenly when she realised what he’d probably done: tracked her watch so he could find her exact location and show up in front of her. She shot out of her seat, scrambling to make herself more presentable before her gorgeous hunk of a boyfriend showed up. But he appeared in her living room before she could even take a step, his thick brows pulled low over his eyes, his full lips twisted into a hard frown. He glared at her, unamused by her silly prank, but his irritation crumbled as soon as he saw how truly exhausted she was.  

     “Querida,” he sighed, wrapping her up in his arms. He rested his cheek on her head and mumbled into her hair. “What happened? Do you have a fever?” 

     He leaned back to check her forehead, but she shook her head up at him. 

     “I'd be wearing my fever patch otherwise,” she replied, referring to the cold sticker she'd paste on her forehead whenever her temperature started rising. She was extremely sensitive to fevers, with her body and gums throbbing with pain almost immediately, so she always took extensive precautions to keep her temperature down. Miguel guided her back to the sofa, helping her get settled under her blanket again. “I just have a bit of a sore throat and a runny nose. And my body's so tired.”

     Miguel let out another weary sigh. “Why didn't you tell me you were sick? I would have come back and taken care of you!”

     “‘Cause I'm not that sick, mi Miguelito!” she assured him quickly. “You would have just worried. And then I'd get stressed out.”

     Miguel frowned at her assumption that he'd only cause her to get more sick. “I can take care of you, querida.”

     His voice was gentle despite the upset expression on his features and X smiled as she curled her fingers around his forearm. 

     “You do,” she confirmed, the cute little grin on her face relieving the rest of the tension from his body. She let her fingers fall back to her side and snuggled up under her blanket. “Just make sure you come home before dinner.”

     Miguel stroked her hair, already mapping out all the best chicken soup restaurants in her vicinity, then he bent over to press a kiss to the top of her head. 

     “Miguel!” X chided him. “I'm sick!” 

     Miguel climbed up over her, lifting her up and readjusting her position so she was lying in his arms. 

     “I'll be sick too,” he mumbled into her hair. “Then we can stay home together.”

     X laughed and buried herself in his arms, soaking up his comforting warmth. “You're such an idiot, Miguel.”

     Miguel huffed and grumbled against the back of her neck, but he refused to leave her side for the rest of the day and night. 

     “¡¿Querido?!” X yelled a few days later, racing into his control room with one earphone in her ear and the other in her hand. Miguel twisted his head back to shoot her a puzzled look, then he returned his attention to his screens as he waited for her to join him. 

     “Unified field theory!” she exclaimed, hopping up onto the platform next to him. Miguel continued scrolling through his file, expecting her to elaborate. She didn’t. He turned to her in question and found her gazing up at him with wide eyes, her lips parted in surprise as if she’d just discovered the answer to … well, everything. 

     “What about it?” Miguel asked, still amused by his girlfriend’s incomprehensible thought processes. Well, incomprehensible to most people. He still remembered how she’d stumbled through an explanation a while after they’d first met about how she had difficulties communicating her thoughts to people.

     ‘I have … a pretty high CPU?’ she’d described it to him after running through one of the most brilliant theories on the epigenetic effects of interdimensional travel he’d ever heard. ‘And I don’t always think in words … Sometimes, I think in, like, pictures and … concepts? I guess? I don’t know how to describe it. So … I guess sometimes people just find it difficult to understand me.’

     He’d shuffled his seat a little closer to hers, enough to bump her shoulder and get her to look up at him again. ‘I understand you perfectly, arañita.’

     She’d grinned up at him then, treating him to that enamoured smile that had made his heart flutter even before they’d started dating, and he’d slid back to his side of the desk. ‘So if people aren’t understanding you, maybe they should be the ones trying harder.’

     He’d counted to three before allowing himself to slide his gaze over to her, and his lips had stretched wide at the sight he’d seen: her fidgeting with her fingers as she’d smiled delightedly at her desk, trying her best to contain her excitement. 

     “Is that how you figured out how to make these watches?” X asked, finally giving him an insight into her train of thought. Miguel furrowed his brows, impressed, then turned to face her fully. 

     “Uh, sort of,” he agreed. “So-”

     “No, wait,” X stopped him quickly. She clutched her head dramatically as her brain began whizzing through possible explanations and hypotheses as to how everything might have tied together. “I'm really sorry, babe, but I'm not ready for a full-scale explanation right now. But basically, it's to do with approaching everything on a molecular level, right? Like, particles? So everything is just reduced to its … particulate level? And then you apply the ‘theoretically universal’ rules governing their … actions?”

     He stared at her, utterly bewildered as to how she’d managed to figure it out and simplify it so easily. He’d known that she was smart but, Dios, how the hell had she managed to figure it out on her own like this?! “Um, yes, actually, but … where did you hear about this?”

     X shrugged, her demeanour much too nonchalant for the topic of the conversation. “One of my podcasts.”

     But the explanation only served to make him even more confused. She only ever listened to mystery podcasts - medical anomalies, unsolved crimes, so-called paranormal phenomena - because it gave her brain something to chew on, she’d explained to him once. ‘I can’t control how much my brain thinks, but I can control what it thinks about.’ And thinking about controlled ‘puzzles’ was much less taxing than focusing on everyday, uncontrollable anxieties. 

     “¿Qué diablos? (What the hell?)” Miguel replied, unsure as to how one of her regular podcasts might have led her into the complex world of quantum physics. “What the hell kind of podcast are you listening to that describes unified field theory?!” 

     X’s expression turned sheepish as she anticipated his reaction to her response. “It’s my ‘Supernatural’ one. Something about something called ‘the Philadelphia experiment’ in my world? I haven’t finished it, but she mentioned unified field theory in the beginning and I thought of you, so I decided to search it up.” 

     His chest warmed at her casual mention of having thought about him, but his jaw dropped at her revelation of having just ‘searched it up’. One did not simply ‘search up’ quantum mechanics. Miguel opened and closed his mouth, trying to come up with a response, but he couldn’t even figure out where to start! His gaze fell on the earpiece pinched between X’s forefinger and thumb, and his eyes narrowed in suspicion suddenly. “Wait … When did you search it up?” 

     “Um, five minutes ago?” X revealed, looking up as she tried to recall it. “I was just listening to it when I was in the lab.” 

     ¡Ay, Dios! Her story just kept getting crazier and crazier! X grinned excitedly, oblivious to her boyfriend’s astonishment at her ‘pretty high CPU’, and hopped forward to grab his forearm. 

     “Wait, so, you figured it out? Like, in your world? Are you the only one who figured it out?! Oh my god, you're so smart, Miguel.” She let out a besotted sigh as she turned her admiring gaze up to him. “My boyfriend's even smarter than Einstein.”

     His lips quirked at the dreamy look she gave him as she said it. “Querida … are you … sapiosexual?”

     X frowned and dropped her hands back to her sides. “Isn’t it obvious? I thought you would have known by now.” 

     Miguel chuckled and shook his head at her reaction. ¡Mierda! He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed it before! The way she’d always treat him to that sweet smile whenever he engaged with her theories, her heart picking up speed and her eyes growing hazy with lust as he communicated to her that he understood her. He laughed again, still in disbelief that he’d found someone who understood him too: someone not only attractive and intelligent, but someone patient and gentle, always calmly explaining to him whenever he made a mistake. 

     “What?” X asked, clinging onto his shoulder this time. She was getting so giddy with love for her smart and gorgeous boyfriend. Everytime he smiled or laughed, her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest! Miguel didn’t respond and instead slid his arm around her waist, adjusting her position so she was pressed up against his side. He bent over to press a kiss to her cheek and X giggled as her entire body tensed with joy. She looked up at Miguel again and he shifted her around to hug her, cuddling her against him admiringly. 

     “Te amo, mi arañita loca (I love you, my crazy little spider),” Miguel murmured into her hair. X squeezed his waist, pressing her cheek into his chest. 

     “Te amo también, mi araña gracioso. (I love you too, my silly spider.)”

Tags: @heubstr @zayai @amberbalcom14 @leahnicole1219

[goldenempyrean]

Tricks, Treats, and Tissues

〚 Notes - Haven't written in a while but wanted to get something done! I missed these two so here we go! :D 〛

〚 Pairing - Maya Bishop x Carina Deluca 〛

〚 Summary - Halloween means fun, spooks and parties... well, if only somebody was feeling well enough. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 3,256 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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Trees swayed in the crisp early morning breeze of that Autumn morning. The sound of a beeping alarm roused Carina from her sleep, yawning and sighing contently as she sat up and stretched out her arm to silence the alarm.

Rubbing her eyes, she looked over, expecting Maya to be doing the same but the blonde was still out cold. One of her arms was loosely hanging off the edge of the bed as her messy bedhead sprawled on the pillows.

The OB allowed herself a small smile before gently squeezing her shoulder, “Come on sleepy girl, you’ve gotta wake up now baby.” She cooed quietly, continuing to lightly massage her shoulder until Maya made a small, sleepy noise of irritation to indicate she’d woken up.

Maya groaned softly, squeezing her eyes shut and nuzzling further into the pillow as if she could stave off morning for just a bit longer.

The brunette chuckled, giving her a playful nudge. "Alright, alright, I’m up," Maya mumbled, pushing herself up slowly. Her hair was still a wild mess, and she blinked at Carina with groggy, half-lidded eyes.

It was only as she sat up however that Maya noticed the dull throbbing of her temples, an indication of what was to come. She cursed to herself inwardly; she’d been in the clinic a few days ago and had been on the majority of Aid-Car calls, and the vast majority being for person with symptoms of the flu... She sniffled, already feeling some congestion building at the front of her sinuses. It wasn’t hard to work out that she was getting sick.

As she swung her feet over the side of the bed, Maya’s eyes glanced up to the two costumes hung neatly on the back of their bedroom door. Shit. She’d forgotten about the party tonight that Vic and Travis were hosting - her and Carina had bought matching zombie costumes to wear together.

Carina had picked them out herself and had spent hours planning how to do their makeup. Simply saying she was excited was an understatement. It was why Maya instantly knew that she couldn’t let her girlfriend find out about this. She knew what the brunette was like, she’d insist on staying home and missing out, but all Maya wanted was for her to enjoy herself tonight.

The blonde took a deep breath, trying to ignore the tickle in her throat as she stood up. She glanced at her girlfriend, who was already gathering towels and humming softly as she prepared for their morning shower. Carina’s enthusiasm was unmistakable; her energy brightened the room as she practically bounced toward the bathroom.

She was just about to follow her in with a desperate tickle ran down the bridge of her nose, she barely had enough time to bring the hem of her shirt over her nose before- “HhhhMpp’shhu!”

“Bless you!” The Italian’s warm voice called the bathroom just before the sound of running water began out, steam rolling out into the bedroom from the open, “You joining me in here?” There was a hopeful tone to her voice, one the firefighter couldn’t resist.

Within 5 minutes she was under the warm water, closing her eyes as it ran down her body. Still, she couldn’t help but shiver involuntarily as Carina ran a hand around the front of her stomach, pulling their bodies together.

“Mmh?” She moaned quietly, opening her eyes as she looked over her shoulder at the smiling brunette.

Carina smiled, grabbing the shampoo, and squirting some into her hands, “You’re cute when you’re groggy bambina.” She cooed before beginning to massage her hand through Maya’s scalp, gently washing her thick hair. She felt the younger woman lean against her as she continued, humming quietly to herself as she finished washing her hair.

They swapped positions, Maya wanting to return the favour. The blonde was lost under her touch but jumped as she felt two hands suddenly grip her hips. Carina squeaked a little as Maya abruptly hitched forward with a set of itchy sounding sneezes against her shoulder, using the woman to keep her balance.

“Ugh, excuse me baby.” Maya sniffled a little thickly afterwards, “Shampoo tickled me.” She quickly offered an explanation before clearing her throat and continuing.

“You’re okay, don’t worry,” Carina soothed, turning to press a soft kiss to the surgeon’s collar bone. She hummed at the subtle warmth coming from her skin but said nothing as the two finished up their shower and began getting ready for work.

Luckily, it was only a short shift, they’d both already arranged cover in preparation to head out tonight. Still, the idea of Maya dragging her arse round the station for 10 hours wasn’t exactly appealing, she stifled a groan as she dried herself on and pulled on her clothes, her muscles feeling tight and knotted as she moved.

The drive to work wasn’t awful. She did her best to match the blonde’s bubbly attitude, chiming in every now and then as Carina excitedly explained her plans for the day. She’d organised some sort of event for the kids on her ward and couldn’t wait to get it started. The blonde nodded along; she found it adorable how somebody could get so excited about a holiday. It wasn’t like she didn’t care; in fact, Maya did often enjoy jumping out and spreading the seasonal spooks, but it was just hard to be excited with a throbbing headache drumming at the front of her sinuses.

By the time they’d arrived, Maya had almost drifted back off as her head rested against the cool passenger window, “Have a good day bambina.” The two exchanged a small goodbye, the blonde kissing her girlfriend on the cheek before climbing out of the car and waving off her girlfriend as she drove off.

The cold air nipped at her skin and she quickly headed inside, wasting no time in heading inside that station at the hope it’d warm her up a little. Once she was in the changing rooms, the firefighter let herself relax a little, her tense shoulders slumping as she momentarily sat down on a bench.

She let out a congested sigh as she stretched up and pulled her sweater over her head as she grabs her uniform. But she tugged her sweatshirt off, she felt the telltale tickle creeping up her nose again, her breath hitching before she could even think to cover. She quickly pulled the sweatshirt up in front of her face, her shoulders hunching instinctively.

She buried her face into the fabric, muffling a series of sneezes that left her sniffling thickly, the sweatshirt doing its best to shield her from making too much noise, “Fuck…”

Maya took a deep breath as she wiped her nose on her sleeve with a grimace, feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion wash over her. She tossed her sweatshirt into her locker and finished changing into her uniform, her nose still prickling from the lingering itch.

The morning seemed to crawl by as the blonde made her way through a seemingly endless set of drills, apparently Sullivan wasn’t in the mood for a light, low effort day – not surprising. As she struggled to catch her breath, the fluorescent lights above only seemed to amplify her headache. Trying to keep a low profile was proving to be increasingly difficult as the growing ache at the back of her throat has her ducking into her elbow with rough, increasingly congested-sounding coughs, earning her side glances from the rest of the team who knew Maya usually breezed through these sorts of things.

Finally though, the klaxon blared with on oncoming call and the drills were forgotten as the team rushed to clamber into their gear and engines as they raced off to the scene.

By the end of the call, Maya felt like her entire body had been backed over by a truck. Dull aches ran over her entire body, and she’d had to change her shirt since she’d sweated through her first one despite the fact she felt utterly freezing.

“God, I just need a minute.” She muttered to herself as she grabbed a bottle of water from her locker. The room seemed to spin as she took a sip, and the urge to sneeze was once again prickling at the edges of her already raw nose.

She ducked into her elbow with a damp set of sneezes, the sound clawing at her throat. The firefighter groaned to herself, grabbing a tissue from a nearby box and giving a thick, congested blow, grimacing at the sound she’d made as she threw her soggy tissues in the trash.

“Damn, you sound horrible Bishop.” A sudden voice made her jump a little, Andy standing behind her with her arms crossed, before reaching forward to hand her another handful of tissues, “You even good to be here?” She asked, reaching up to press a hand to her forehead which she quickly ducked out of the way of.

“I’m fine.”

The thick sniffles that followed did little to plead her case. Hererra gave her pointed a look and she blew her nose once more, giving a small, defeated mumble, “It’s not that bad.”

“Shouldn’t your girlfriend be doting on you or something?” She rubbed her as she came to sit beside the blonde.

Maya looked up at her for moment before diverting her eyes, gazing to the ground, “Carina doesn’t know. She’s been so excited for this halloween thing tonight, if she knew then she wouldn’t any even about going.”

“You can’t tell her… please. Plus you know Sullivan’s got it out for me at the moment after that last scene. I can’t just go home.” She did have a point there. Her exhaustion had caused a silly error – nobody was hurt and things resolved but the Captain was not pleased.

Andy didn’t look convinced but she seemed to mull it over for a minute before he finally sighed in resignation. “Alright, fine. I won’t tell anyone,” She grumbled in defeat, her voice dropping into a more concerned tone, “Only, on the condition that you’ll take something - at the very least drink some tea. Seriously Mai, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Promise,” Maya nodded, managing a faint smile that quickly faltered as another prickling itch flared up in her sinuses. “H-hold on… I hh- nee-need to- Hhh’ESHHHoo! She sneezed openly down into her lap this time, too exhausted to keep her usual efforts to muffle the sound.

Herrera shook her head, muttering something about her stubbornness before standing, giving her shoulder a supportive squeeze as she headed off.

After another few hours of struggling through calls, Maya was feeling worse than ever. She couldn't tell if the constant chills were due to the station’s air conditioning or her worsening fever, and her headache now throbbed with every step. Her limbs felt weighed down by bricks, and she’d started shivering so hard that she could barely hold her pen steady. This wasn’t just a cold; the surgeon was half sure she had a raging sinus infection on top of this damn flu.

It was clear to anyone she was ill. Warren had already began nagging at her to leave for the past few hours, she’d had to stop several times to catch her breath and had ended up sitting out for the final part of the call. She was just about to head inside after they arrived back at the station when Sullivan suddenly stepped in-front of her, reaching forward to gently grab her shoulders to stop her from continuing, “Enough Bishop, wrap it up. You’re going home.”

Maya blinked up at him, her brow knitting as she tried to summon up some defence, but the argument died in her throat as she caught sight of her own reflection in a nearby glass panel. She looked just as terrible as she felt - pale skin and dark, exhausted circles under her eyes, cheeks tinged with an unhealthy crimson flush.

There really was no point arguing, the both of them knew that. She breathed in - as much as she could through her clogged sinuses. At the corners of her eye, she could see Andy giving her a sympathetic look as she came over to join them, “Go home Maya. We both know you’re too sick to be here right now. You’re gonna get yourself or somebody else hurt.”

“Fine.” She grumbled, her voice catching in her throat a little and she muffled a short cough into her elbow. She really didn’t have the strength to argue anymore, not when the room seemed to be spinning around her.

“I’ll help her with her stuff.” Andy explained to Sullivan as she wrapped her arm around the blonde’s waist nudged her towards the lockers, lending a hand as she gathered up her stuff, “You know you can’t go out like this tonight.” Andy went to pull out her phone to order her an uber, “Carina won’t mind if you cancel.”

Maya had just finished ducking into her arm was a harsh cough, “I know but she’ll be disappointed, even if she says she isn’t. She’s been looking forward to it.”

“Rather be disappointed then have her girlfriend pass out.” Gibson’s voice came from behind them, leaning against a support bean as she joined the conversation, Maya gave him a look to back off but he only smirked as he reached into his pocket to pull something out, “Candy?” He offered a handful out, not taking no for answer and putting some in her pocket.

That earnt him a smile - a small, stuffy, exhausted smile but a smile nonetheless. “You’re exhausting.” She grumbled, getting the last of her stuff from her locker.

“You’re exhausted.” Andy pointed out, as she looked down at her phone and ordered an uber.

*^*

By the time Maya made it home, she felt like a ghost of herself. She fumbled with her keys, her vision blurred from fatigue and fever, so much that she didn’t even notice Carina’s car parked in the driveway. Her head was spinning with a haze of exhaustion as she stumbled through the door, desperate to collapse into bed and pretend she wasn’t feeling this awful.

“Hh’ETSCHuu!” She couldn’t hold back the sneeze and barely managed to turn away in time, doubling over slightly as she sneezed once, then again, unable to muffle them. The firefighter groaned thickly, leaning against the wall and sliding down as a wave of dizziness ran over her - a thick, damp cough rattling from her lungs.

Just a few feet ahead of her, Carina frowned, she’d been standing in the doorway to their bedroom, having a perfect view of the whole thing. Her last surgery had been cancelled and she’d gotten home a few hours ago. “Maya Bishop,” Her voice was dripping with concern as she stepped out with her hands on her hips, “You got something you want to tell me?”

Maya froze, caught in the act, her cheeks flushed as she lifted them from her hand and looked up at her, “Carina! You’re, uh... home early.”

“Uh-huh.” Carina folded her arms, trying to hide her concern. She stepped closer, kneeling down to place a gentle hand on Maya’s forehead. “Bambina! you’re burning up.”

Maya pulled out a small piece of candy from her pocket and offered it to her, “Trick or treat?” She rasped, hoping to get away with it - she didn’t.

Carina narrowed her eyes a little, her frown crinkling as she gave her a look that said, “I’m not letting this go.” but nevertheless she unwrapped the candy and popped it into her mouth, unable to hold back a subtle smile as she enjoyed its sweet taste.

The enjoyment was lost a few moments later however when she watched Maya duck into her hands with a damp sneeze.

“God bless you! You sound awful sweet girl.” Carina murmured, extending a hand as she supported the blonde in standing back, instantly bringing her hand to support her waist when she wobbled a little, “Come on, let’s sit down for a sec, yeah?.” She guided her girlfriend over to the sofa, making her sit on the sturdy arm as she checked her over.

“So how are you really feeling?” The brunette reached forward to cup her face, her thumbs gently moving over her cheeks and sinuses instantly recognising the congestion she was holding, “Oh baby, you do not feel good at all, do you?”

The firefighter shook her head, “I just wanted to be okay for tonight…” Her voice broke as she rasped, a painful cough rising from her chest.

Carina’s heart softened, a small sympathetic sigh escaping as Maya looked up at her through glassy, feverish eyes. “No stupid party is worth you getting so sick sweetheart. You shouldn’t have even gotten out of bed today.”

Maya went to argue her chase but the deep itching at the bridge of her nose snatched her breath as she sneezed again, the action being followed by a congested sounding cough.

“Bless you, poor thing,” Carina whispered, her voice brimming with sympathy. “That’s it. Let’s get you into bed, okay?”

Maya just nodded miserably, unable to deny how much she just wanted to curl up and let the world disappear. Carina helped her up, keeping a steadying hand on her waist as they moved to the bedroom, and soon had the brunette had settled under the blankets, tucking them snugly around her. “Wait here, I’ll be right back,” The Italian promised softly.

She only took a few minutes to gather up some essentials, tissues, lozenges. The brunette also made sure to grab one of those little fever gel patches from their first aid kit as well as the thermometer they kept in there.

Soon enough, she was back by her side, rolling the thermometer across her hot, damp forehead. She sighed at the high number before peeling off one of the patches and gently laying it across before running her hands through her messy hair, “You really know how to overdo it, don’t you? Silly girl.”

Carina felt herself sigh again as she crawled up into bed and let herself sit next to Maya, smiling when the brunette leant against her. She stayed quiet for a moment, her hand still trailing through her hair. “You should have taken care of yourself first,” The OB said softly, her voice low and soothing. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

“You were just so excited; you love all the holidays. I just wanted you to enjoy the night.” She sighed, looking up at their costumes still hanging on the back of the door.

The brunette reached down to cup her face, tilting her chin to look her girlfriend in the eyes, “I’ve told you already, nothing is more important than you. I’d pick staying here, cuddled up over heading out to a party any day.”

Maya let out a soft, tired chuckle, the sound echoing in her chest. “Even if it’s just the two of us and a box of tissues?”

“Especially if it's just the two of us and a box of tissues.” Carina smiled back, reaching down to pull her laptop onto her lap, turning on Netflix and scrolling through to pick the brunette’s favourite spooky movie, “Happy Halloween, bambina.” She whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair.

“Happy Halloween.” Maya replied, her voice soft and sleepy, her hand finding Carina’s and intertwining their fingers as she finally let herself relax into her hold.

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[ghostie-in-wonderland]

Songs that remind me of the Obey Me Characters

some angst, some fluff

Lucifer: 

Eleanor Rigby – Cody Fry  Experience – Ludovico Einaudi  Colors – Halsey IDK he gives the gray vibe for like someone else’s blue (probably MC’s or his brothers)  All Too Well (10 Minute Version) – Taylor Swift 

Mammon: 

The Exit – Conan Gray The dude does everything for his family and has not healed one bit. Someone give this dude a hug fr.  Right Here – Chase Atlantic He’s always there for everyone else, and he’s honestly someone who’s MC’s ride or die. Consume – Chase Atlantic  Something in the Orange – Zach Bryan I think if he did something that caused MC and him to separate and go different ways, he’d be in the like top 5 listeners of this song within like four days. The Moon Will Sing – The Crane Wives Once again, does everything for everyone else and to make them feel better. He loves his brothers and MC so much that he gives up everything for them. Idk the lyrics “I shine only with the light you gave me” feels very Mammon-coded. 

Leviathan: 

How to Save a Life – The Fray  The Other Side of Paradise – Glass Animals  Heat Waves – Glass Animals 

Satan: 

Cosmic Love – Florence and the Machine Arsonist’s Lullabye – Hozier  Almost (Sweet Music) – Hozier I head cannon that he often feels like a replica/attempt of a replica of Lilith until MC gets there and he just suffers with feeling second best.  Better Man – 5 Seconds of Summer He tries to be a better person for MC especially (and for cats). 

Asmodeus: 

Someone to Stay – Vancouver Sleep Clinic Sort of goes hand in hand with the next one, but I think being the Avatar of Lust causes a lot of issues for him in that he is only seen as someone to sleep with and nothing more and I head cannon that he craves more than that. (Honestly, you can see multiple instances where it’s clear he does)  Someone to You – Banners  S&M – Rihanna  I can just see him loving Rihanna. Breakin’ Dishes – Rihanna 

Beelzebub: 

Alice – Peggy  The View Between Villages – Noah Kahan I think he finds it difficult and upsetting in seeing the differences between the Devildom and the Celestial Realm. I think it hurts him in a way to think about life before the fall and doesn’t feel worthy of his previous home.  Try – P!nk  Viva La Vida – Coldplay 

Belphegor: 

Northern Attitude – Noah Kahan Except his “northern attitude” is just murder… and he tries to do so multiple times.  Fight or Flight – Conan Gray I think he would rather die than to cry in front of people. He seems emotionally constipated (and makes it other people’s problems).   

Diavolo:  

S.O.S – Jonas Brothers  The One That Got Away – Katy Perry  City is Ours – Big Time Rush I mean he is the ruler of the Devildom. 

Barbatos: 

No body, no crime – Taylor Swift Ft. HAIM If you called him for help he’d have one question… why didn’t you ask him sooner?  Jackie and Wilson – Hozier  House of the Rising Sun – The Animals He just gives old New Orleans vibes… I can’t explain it. He also just gives the vibe of this song, maybe not the lyrics (depending on your head cannons), but definitely the instrumental part.

Simeon: 

Ophelia – The Lumineers  Breakeven – The Script After the war and all, I think he really wished that life would go back to normal, but it didn’t. I think he struggles with a sort of guilt from being on a side away from those he considers brothers, no matter what the war was about. I think he wants his family back and he doesn’t know how to and he feels overwhelmed and like he is drowning in guilt.  Waiting for Superman – Daughtry  Mind over Matter – Young the Giant 

Solomon: 

Bad Omens – 5 Seconds of Summer He stays and helps MC through it all, despite there being times, something he even admits to, of MC leaving him. MC could choose him sometimes, but Solomon would choose them every single time. Unknown/Nth – Hozier Solomon is pretty much a lonely sorcerer and the only one fighting for the human realm a majority of the time. When MC comes along and (depending on y’alls choices) hint at being willing to help protect the realm, he probably feels a weight lift off his shoulders, while another one is placed on his shoulders.  Black and White – Niall Horan  Work Song – Hozier I don’t think anything could stop him from being there for MC. I mean, a timeline sure as hell didn’t. 

[profoundbondfanfic]

Hi! I’m hoping someone here or one of your followers can help me find a fic I read probably 5+ years ago 😭 in the fic Cas was asexual or maybe demisexual? And he was kind of navigating his relationship with Dean for the first time experimenting with different things and Dean was like super patient and understanding. I’m guessing it was rated M or E, but it was such a sweet fic and it’s been bugging me that I can’t find it again! Any ideas? Thanks! 🫶

Hey!

Maybe one of these?

Aces and Pros by twowritehands

Dean is a porn star. Cas is ace, but he does enjoy masturbating and is Dean's #1 fan.

Just Your Heart, In Exchange For Mine by noxsoulmate

Dean owns a bakery and Castiel loves his pie. This could be such a cute little bakery love story – if it weren’t for the fact that one was a retired hunter and the other one a powerful witch. There’s also the matter of the black little cat Dean finds in front of his bakery one cold and rainy night. Not to forget the crazy witch on the loose, ripping out other witches’ hearts.

like january by sharkfish

“I told you that I’m asexual,” Cas says, “and that’s true, but I’ve always understood myself to be more gray-asexual than purely asexual. That means --” “I know what it means,” Dean says, letting out the breath he was holding. “I haven’t been attracted to someone in so long, the distinction no longer seemed to be relevant.” “Nothing can change the way I feel about you,” Dean says. “Nothing.” Cas looks down at his hands. “Sometimes I think I may be attracted to you.”

Preacher Comfort by almaasi

Dean Winchester works as a nurse at an after-hours medical clinic. He's a champion at what he does, but for him, professionalism has its pitfalls: good-looking patients make him flustered. Luckily, his fly-by-night infatuation evaporates within minutes, since most patients only swing by once. Castiel (fondly known as Bee Sting Guy around the clinic) is one of those iniquitously handsome fellows – and he keeps coming back. He's also a Catholic priest, 94% asexual, and in need of the tender love that happens to be Dean's speciality.

In this one Cas isn't asexual but the rest is exactly like you described (His first time experimenting with different things and Dean being super understanding and patient and caring about it. And a really sweet fic):

Cardigan by tricia_16

Castiel Milton has always been a loner. He's perfectly content spending his days working at Milton's Antique Toy Store and his nights reading and watching TV, mostly because he's never known anything different. Enter Dean Winchester: former high school football captain, all-around golden boy... and apparently, Castiel's long-time admirer.

[eros-vigilante]

Notes with Dog Doodles (Ezra Story 2)

▪ 003 Fungus, red and green appearance, begins color transformation in the afternoon in its region. Tested as non-toxic through litmus paper, though might contain a certain paralytic effect.

Red Notes: Paralysis symptoms appeared 15 minutes and 23 seconds after purified injection, lasted for about 5 minutes before gradually weakening. No dizziness or nausea side effects. Could potentially be used as an anesthetic, but honestly, it's boring. Don't send me this again next time. Blue Notes: Thank you for the experiment, Medicine Pocket. Different degrees of samples are necessary. I will prepare three more poisonous mushrooms for you next time.

▪ 009 Fungus, light yellow appearance, turns purple when added to an acidic solution. Weakly alkaline. Tested as having level 1 toxicity. May cause fainting or clinical symptoms like skin itching, and fever.

Red Notes: Skin itching symptoms appeared within 20 seconds of consumption and lasted over 35 hours. Without suppressants, there's potential for worsening. No fainting observed. Recommended for combat usage research. Blue Notes: High-efficacy allergy suppressants are in the third drawer on the left side of your office. Please use them as soon as possible.

▪ 012 Fungus, brown in appearance, thick cap, about the width of a palm, similar to local edible mushrooms. Tested as having level 6 toxicity. Ingestion of more than 15 grams can be lethal to adults.

Red Notes: Almost died. Blue Notes: Medicine Pocket! We agreed last time that you can't keep stealing mushrooms from my ecology box! Red Notes: I thought it was an edible mushroom. I was hungry.

GUYS................

ezra is a child don't tag as ship ill bite you

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 11

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clinical trial for Q-wave brain stimulator.

Trial subject 1. Session 5

First official sleep study: subject agreed to an overnight sleep study, during which two periods of Q-wave treatment are to be applied for 40 minutes each, one commencing during the deep sleep stage and a second at onset of REM sleep.

11.11pm – Deep sleep phase treatment commenced.

11.51pm: First treatment application successfully completed: blurring evidenced on Q-scan slightly extended to 0.7mm

2.07am: Following initial treatment dosage subject was allowed to complete one full sleep cycle at rest, followed by commencement of second treatment application on entering REM sleep

2.19am: Negative effects of Q-waves observed, treatment aborted.

Q-wave brain stimulator trial terminated with immediate effect.

Everything had been proceeding exactly as they had been anticipating. The deep sleep phase had been perfect, and to begin with the REM sleep treatment seemed even more promising, with the blurred patch expanding by 0.4mm within the first seven minutes. Success had seemed inevitable.

Then Lena looked over at Kara and saw the thin ribbon of blood trickling from her nose, and her heart stalled painfully in her chest before thumping back into action at twice its usual pace. She bypassed the dial completely and yanked the plug out of the wall to stop the Q-wave generator, then ran to kneel beside the bed.

‘Kara? Kara, please wake up. Are you okay?’

Kara stirred sleepily, blinking up at her in evident confusion as Lena tugged at the straps and pushed the Q-wave cap off and away with one hand while the other tenderly cradled her head.

‘What is it, did something happen?’

‘Do you feel alright?’

‘Of course, I’m totally fine. I was having the strangest dream though. I was flying, and... I think I was carrying you’.

Lena forced a laugh that might more properly have been called a sob as she remembered saying almost those exact words to Kara after she had been poisoned by Edge.

And after she had saved her life yet again...

It was a piece of real memory, and that Kara had it at all should have been incredible news, but combined with the nosebleed all it did was prove Lex had been serious about the dangers of forcing her to remember.

What if Lena had looked up five minutes later?

What if it had been too late?

Kara could have died tonight because of her.

She could have died.

‘Anyway, I don’t suppose you woke me to hear about my weird subconscious. Is everything alright?’

‘No, I’m afraid it’s not. I’m stopping the trial’.

The bed frame squeaked in protest as Kara sat up abruptly, looking properly alarmed for the first time since her rude awakening.

‘What? No! It’s been going so well, you can’t just stop!’

‘We have to Kara, you had a nose bleed’.

‘Don’t be silly, I never get-’

But the protest died as Kara reached up to touch her face, then examined the smear of red on her fingers.

‘Huh’.

‘I’m so, so sorry, I really thought this was going to be completely safe. I can’t say for sure that it was caused by the Q-waves, but I’m not willing to take that chance. If there is even the slightest possibility that this is hurting you, we are not doing it again’.

‘But it’s only a little one. Couldn’t you just… do some checks on the wave frequency or whatever before we try again? I would feel so awful if you cancel the whole project just because I had one tiny nose bleed, especially when I feel completely fine and it might not even have been caused by what we were doing. Think of all the people you were going to help’.

I was going to help you. That’s all. It was always just you, and now I can’t even do that.

‘No, I just can’t take that risk. I’m sorry Kara, but it’s over. I’ll just- I’ll find another way to continue the work. Come on, we’d better give Alex a call and get you over to the DEO so they can check you out properly’.

It looked like Kara wanted to protest further, but after taking in Lena’s expression for a few moments she apparently decided there was no point, and nodded reluctantly.

‘Alright, if you really think we need to stop, then I trust you. There’s no need to wake up Alex though, she’ll only fuss and there’s nothing wrong with me’.

‘Oh, we’re waking Alex for her sake, not yours. Otherwise she’ll be looking at a life sentence for my murder after she finds out I didn’t tell her about this so she could check you out for herself. What’s a bit of lost sleep compared to that?’

Kara rolled her eyes, a look of fond exasperation on her face that could have been for Alex or Lena or both as she picked up her phone to call her sister.

‘You two are as bad as each other, you know that?’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Kara had been checked out, cleared, and taken back to her apartment, the core task force for Project Atlantis (as Operation-get-our-girl-back had become more formally known) gathered for an emergency meeting to discuss what had just happened. Given that Kara had been cleared medically and was now back in her own home none the wiser this probably could have waited until morning, but when Kara had called Alex, Alex called J’onn, and the others were already en route to the DEO after Nia had seen something troubling in her dream, so they had decided not to wait.

J’onn, Nia, Brainy, Alex, and Lena.

There were a few other agents who knew Supergirl’s identity and therefore part of what they were working on, plus James, who was helping to hold things down at Catco, but the five of them were the only ones who knew everything, and Lena was glad she didn’t have to admit her failure to a bigger audience.

She had already presented the progression of the trial and the hopes she had had for the sleep study, and now went on to explain how it had gone wrong shortly after starting the REM treatment stage. For a long minute everyone was quiet as they examined the scan progressions Lena had just given them, then Alex banged a fist on the table and swore.

‘It was going so well. I really thought we had the answer’.

‘The probabilities looked quite promising, I too am surprised that this happened’.

‘So what do we do now? Do we dial back the treatments? Make them shorter, or less frequent?’

Lena had nodded along in commiseration with Alex and Brainy’s comments, but at J’onn’s contribution she stopped, brows drawing into her boardroom “someone just suggested dangerous cost cutting measures at the children’s hospital” expression.

‘Of course not. This is it for the Q-wave stimulator, I’m terminating the trials effective immediately. I assumed that was implied’.

The nosebleed was proof that her premise had been flawed, and it was sheer luck that the whole thing hadn’t ended up a lot worse than it did.

Kara could have died tonight. She could have died. She could have-

‘I’m not certain that is a logical course of action Lena. My calculations show only a 6.3% chance of further injury to Kara if the sessions return to being carried out while she is conscious, and with greater spacing between-’

Now Brainy too?

‘That is 6.3% too much. I’m sorry, but this is not a debate. It’s my device and I am telling you that I will not let any of you use it on Kara again. If I have to smash it to pieces and destroy the schematic to make sure of it I will not hesitate’.

Alex raised her eyebrows, reaching out towards Lena as if she was going to put a soothing hand on her arm, though she stopped short of actually touching her.

‘Woah, hey, there’s no need for that, we’re all on the same side here. But we don’t have another plan – if we can’t use Q-waves, what are we going to do?’

‘For now, nothing, Kara’s brain needs time to heal from the trauma it’s just experienced. Maybe in a few weeks we can think about trying something new, but until then-’

‘A few weeks?’ Alex interrupted, extended hand withdrawing along with the conciliatory tone. ‘We can’t wait that long. We’re barely holding things together as it is without Supergirl.’

At another time Lena might have been sympathetic, but right now the image of blood running down Kara’s face while she lay apparently unconscious (just sleeping in fact, but the seconds when Lena had been unsure if she would ever wake up again had felt like an eternity) was hovering just behind her eyelids ready to ambush her the moment she closed her eyes, and Alex’s protestation seemed flimsy at best.

Kara could have died tonight.

Lena could have killed her.

The roil of panic she was trying not to acknowledge boiled over, and her reply lashed out like a whip.

‘National City survived for years without superheroes. Are you really telling me that you can’t last a couple more months without your little sister holding your hand?’

Alex slammed both hands down on the table, her own tenuous grip on her composure snapping under the weight of Lena’s goading.

‘DAMN it Lena, this is not about me! Do you realise that Kelly nearly died confronting Malefic? He was seconds away from forcing her to cut her own throat. Seconds. I can’t let that happen again!’

‘And I can’t let you risk hurting Kara to make sure it doesn’t!’

‘You think I want to? She’s my sister, I love her more than almost any other person on the planet, but we have to be realistic. Kara is not the only one in danger here!’

They were both standing now, eyes locked, though Lena wasn’t sure when or how that had happened. If the two of them had been alone they would have fought it out until they had vented what they needed to, then calmed back down enough to figure out a new plan together, but they were not alone. J’onn interrupted their glaring match with a stern throat-clear, looking between them like a disappointed teacher with two unruly pupils.

‘That’s enough, both of you. Will you please sit down so we can discuss this rationally?’

Lena was prepared to ignore him and continue their debate to its conclusion, but after a few more seconds of crackling tension Alex flickered her gaze to J’onn and nodded stiffly, a part of her apparently still reacting to the authority of her former boss. She dropped back into her seat looking partially (though not entirely) chastened, and after a moment Lena followed suit more slowly, schooling her own features to avoid showing any hint of similar emotion herself.

It wasn’t that she didn’t care what happened to Kelly.

She was actually the one person connected to this little group that Lena had not entirely cut contact with after she’d found out about Supergirl, and she liked her very much. It was awful to think that she had so nearly been hurt, and if there was anything Lena could do to keep it from happening again, then she would. But she was a scientist, and a researcher, and she could not in good conscience support the continuation of a trial that would put her subject at a greater level of potential harm than was warranted, especially after having assured them that they would be entirely safe.

And she would not allow Kara to be harmed. Not for anyone. Not even if it meant every other person in the city suffered for it.

‘Thank you. Lena, you may be right about continuing any form of physical intervention at this stage, but Alex is also right that we can’t wait too long to do something. So, I suggest we stop trying to break down the barrier with external force and take a different approach entirely’.

J’onn paused, looking round to check he had everyone’s undivided attention, then continued before anyone (Lena) could raise objections.

‘Sometimes Martian powers will kick in without conscious direction when presented with imminent threat to life, and I think a similar instinctive approach could work for Kara. A survival reflex could bring back her powers without having to pass through her conscious mind, allowing the memories to follow after them once the way had been opened up and avoiding the potentially dangerous weakened pathways created by the Q-wave treatment’.

‘Interesting… Like avoiding the locked door in her mind altogether and instead creating a hitherto undiscovered window. I predict that that course of action would have an 84.2% chance of success’.

There was a beat of silence while Lena waited for J’onn to add something that would make his idea sound more sane, but it appeared he was done speaking.

‘Are you actually suggesting that we should put Kara’s life in danger? That’s your safer plan?’

J’onn raised his hands, fending off the argument they both knew was still simmering just below the surface.

‘Controlled danger. Something we could set up and monitor, and bring her out of if needed. She wouldn’t be at any real risk’.

Controlled danger.

Inducing hypothermia until Kara’s muscles gave up shivering and her heart slowed and eventually stopped.

Pressing on her throat to make her fight for air, her eyes wild with terror as she tried to free herself of the constriction.

Submerging her in water and watching her thrash and struggle, breaking the surface only to be drawn back under without having managed to take a breath, water replacing air in her lungs until at last she went limp and sank out of sight, just like-

‘NO’.

Her muscles tensed, ready to jump to her feet again, but Alex broke in before she could manage more than that single, reactive syllable of negation. It was probably lucky that she did, because for all her years of social training, Lena wasn’t at all sure her own response would have been as measured as Alex’s.

‘Sorry J’onn but I’m going to have to side with Lena on this one. We need Supergirl back, but we can’t take the chance on something going wrong with that plan. Even if we made some artificial danger that we could fully control, if it was real enough for survival instincts to kick in, it would also be real enough that something could go really badly wrong. Besides, that still leaves a 15.8% chance of failure for a plan that would be seriously traumatic to Kara, and that is way too high’.

‘It doesn’t have to be real danger. If we put Kara into a simulation-’

‘That doesn’t negate the trauma of thinking she’s dying!’

Lena’s volume was creeping up again, but she managed not to actually shout.

‘Maybe not, but Supergirl is tougher than you’re giving her credit for, and we can’t afford to take a kid glove approach on this one. Kara would want us to try it if it meant reducing the risk to the rest of National City caused by her absence’.

‘Kara has no idea what’s going on, so she can’t really express an informed opinion right now, can she?’

‘Exactly. That’s why we have to make a decision based on what she would want us to do. You’ve worked with Supergirl before, when have you ever known her to choose her own safety over someone else’s?’

J’onn had a point. The Kara Lena thought she had known was someone who had needed her protection, who had stood behind her when danger threatened and let her take the lead. It had made her feel strong, protective, trusted to keep her friend safe, and that trust made her believe she really could be an immovable object between Kara and whatever threatened them, no matter how bad things got. Now she realised with a pang that Kara’s attempts to hide were in reality her trying to slip away to return as Supergirl, and whenever she had she had immediately put her own body between Lena’s and the source of danger, and Lena had let her. Of course she had. Supergirl was the girl of steel.

But right now she was just Kara, and whether she wanted them to or not, all of those old protective instincts surged at the idea of standing back and allowing her to be killed, even if it was only in a simulation.

Lena folded her arms and stared steadily back at J’onn.

‘Well then. Maybe it’s time someone made the decision for Kara that she would make for them.’

‘Maybe… but I think you’re wrong about what that would be.’

She laughed, but there was no humour in it.

‘You’re telling me that Kara wouldn’t keep the truth from someone to protect them, whether they would have chosen that for themselves or not. You’re telling me that.’

J’onn had the grace to look uncomfortable, but he still didn’t rise to the provocation.

‘This situation is different from Kara choosing not to tell you about her Kryptonian identity.’

‘Yes, it is. Because finding out the truth wouldn’t have fucking KILLED me!’

‘No one is going to let that happen!’

‘You literally just suggested that we should try that exact thing and hope that the barrier breaks in time for Kara to save herself. Tell me J’onn. Would you be saying the same thing if it was Alex’s life? If she lost part of her memory, and the fastest way to get it back also risked giving her a major stroke or a fatal brain hemorrhage, would you do it? Or would you decide that a kid glove approach might be better if we were talking about someone other than Supergirl?’

‘Lena, that’s not f-’ Alex started to protest, so Lena snapped her attention to her instead.

‘How about if it was Kelly? Right now Kara is more vulnerable than a human, so you can’t argue that we should push ahead because she’s Kryptonian and her body can take it. It can’t. Not right now. So would you risk leaving Kelly brain dead for the sake of a few weeks? Brainy, how about you? Would you think a 6.3% chance of killing Nia was acceptable? Or you Nia, if it was Brainy? I know things are difficult in the city right now, but the world is not in immediate danger, and Kara is safe like this.’

There was utter silence around the table, so thick it would have taken a machete to cut through it. Nobody quite met Lena’s eyes.

‘You’ve made your point Lena’. Alex finally said in a subdued voice, fists clenching and unclenching on the table before her.

‘You’re right. We’re used to Kara being physically a lot stronger than she is right now, and we need to take that into account with whatever plan we make. Maybe we should to go right back to the beginning and look over all the test results again – see if there’s anything we missed the first time round and-’

‘Um… Alex? Maybe I could try something else first?’

Everyone turned to Nia, who until now had been silently watching the argument pinging from Alex to Lena to J’onn and back round again like it was a game of ice hockey.

‘What are you thinking Nia?’ Alex asked.

‘Well, I’m not sure, but maybe there’s a way I could reach Supergirl through Kara’s dreams. It would be less direct than the Mind space because dreams aren’t supposed to be literal, it’s all more vague and symbolic there, so she might fight it less. Plus what Lena told us about the flying dream shows that maybe that’s where the cracks are going to appear’.

‘Oh.. yeah, you could be onto something!’

‘An excellent proposal Nia’.

‘I agree, that could be a good compromise’.

They all looked at Lena, waiting to see if she was going to object to this plan too in spite of everyone else’s support for it. And to be honest, she would have been more comfortable continuing to approach the problem with science rather than something as wishy washy and unpredictable as “magic”. But then… so would Lex. He would be much more likely to anticipate and plan for anything she could do with science than Nia’s dream powers, especially when even Nia didn’t entirely understand how they worked. It was by far the best option on the table at the moment, even if it did mean she was going to have to trust Kara’s treatment and welfare to somebody who wasn’t her.

That part was going to be a wrench after all this time feeling so sure she could crack it, but in a way it was also a relief. For the last few weeks Lena had not so much been burning the candle at both ends as throwing the candle into the centre of a blazing fire and keeping it from melting up entirely by sheer force of bloody mindedness. Between working on the Q-wave stimulator, keeping L-Corp running and spending more time than ever with Kara as part of Project Atlantis, not to mention check in meetings with the rest of the task force, it had been weeks since she had had a full night of unbroken sleep, and that was starting to take its toll. She sighed.

‘I’m in too. But if we’re going ahead I think Alex or I should be there during the sessions so we can keep an eye on Kara and bring her out immediately if she starts showing dangerous symptoms. Sorry Nia, it’s not that I don’t trust you to take care of her, but if you’re in a dream state you might not be so aware of what’s going on physically’.

‘Sure, I’d be fine with one of you two being there – it might be easier to explain as a group thing anyway’.

Around the table shoulders visibly relaxed as the tension eased, and the general mood finally began to shift to something more hopeful – optimistic even – as they started discussing how Dreamer should approach the task. Now that their course was decided Lena sat back and let the conversation go on around her, half listening but making no attempt to direct the flow, or even step into it. It wasn’t like she knew much about powers in any case, and she needed a minute to collect herself after what had just happened.

In the heat of the argument she hadn’t cared what bridges she was burning or what the fallout from that might be just as long as she was keeping Kara from being hurt, but now it was over she felt slightly... unbalanced by the experience. She wasn’t sorry that she had stood up against the suggestion that they should suffocate Kara for her own good (or whatever other ridiculously dangerous alternative J’onn would have come up with), but had to admit, if only to herself, that the way she had gone about it might not have been entirely prudent. Because she wasn’t the top-of-the-food-chain CEO here, whose word had to be obeyed by the majority of the people she came into contact with whether they liked it or not. In fact, now that they no longer needed her technology she wasn’t really anything to this group, and the idea that they might realise as much and drop her from the project made bands of panic tighten around her chest all over again.

She couldn’t walk away from this now. She was in too deep for that. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

Not to Kara, but not to the rest of them either, because somewhere along the way she had stopped thinking of these people as adversaries she was forced to partner with to achieve a shared goal, and started to think of them as… something else. People that she cared about, and whose company she would miss if it suddenly disappeared from her life.

The hours she spent with Brainy working through technical details and swapping jargon-based humour that no one around them understood.

The coffee breaks with Nia when she and Dreamer both had cause to be at the DEO Headquarters, and the conversations they had that had begun, very lightly, to touch on families and the otherness that both of them experienced in their own different ways.

The camaraderie with Alex and mutual needling that increasingly felt like their own private in-jokes, and the fact that despite all the teasing (and even sometimes fighting), she was the first person Lena wanted to call when something well wrong with Project Atlantis, because Alex cared about Kara as deeply as she did.

Even J’onn, despite a somewhat awkward beginning, was becoming a respected colleague that Lena could almost forget had also posed as her best friend while she opened up about her love life and family insecurities…

Alright, that last one still stung, but they had been making progress. She didn’t want to just throw it all away now, no matter that that was exactly what she would have to do sooner or later, when Kara got her memories back.

‘Lena?’

She blinked back into the room, chagrined to have been caught zoning out just when she most needed to justify her presence here.

‘Sorry Alex, what did you say?’

‘I just asked if you could make next Monday instead of Thursday for the next Atlantis meeting’.

‘Oh-’ She was still in then. For now at least. ‘-Yes. I might need to move a couple of things around, but I can make Monday work, definitely’.

That meant there would be a few extra days until the next meeting, and Lena resolved to spend them (or as much of them as wasn’t already taken up by L-Corp) proving that she could still be a valuable asset to the project. Somewhat regretfully she let go of the extra couple of hours sleep per night that she had promised herself following the end of the Q-wave trials, and instead allocated the time to the study of dream interpretation. Because while it was true that Lena was just about as unmagical as it was possible for a person to be, she was excellent at research, and there was bound to be something in the established body of peer-reviewed literature that would begin to explain the mechanics of Nia’s power. If she could only find it then they would be able to take a scientific approach to determining the right way for Dreamer to get through to Supergirl, and that was something Lena could do in her sleep. The bands around her chest loosened, and she took what felt like her first full breath since she had looked up to see Kara’s blood staining her pillow.

‘How long do you think before you’re ready to get started Nia?’

Is there time for me to express ship some pertinent reading material from overseas, or should I only look locally?

‘Well, there is one snag I’m going to have to work out first... It turns out that Kara doesn’t actually know that I’m Dreamer anymore. That memory must have been pretty tied up with her own identity as Supergirl, and she has just blocked the whole thing out. So. I think before I can start on any of this stuff, I’m going to have to come out to Kara’.

[loughie]

Not to sound like a crybaby, but this perfume literally traumatised me. I had always wanted to try it after reading many polarising reviews and just hearing about it from perfume ppl on tumblr. Of course, a perfume that is said to smell like blood, sweat, semen and saliva would be disgusting for most noses. But... I love the "idea" of these smells and was really expecting an almost sympathetic version of these notes. "Why would they make a perfume with those notes and have it smell horrifying?" Oh babe......babe...I am silly to believe that this would be a nice, considerate perfume.

So I haven't tested it on my skin. I tested it on a piece of paper, and within the first spray, I was shocked. I couldn't really describe the scent. Maybe it's like if someone breathed in my face? Maybe it smells like the bins I change at the clinic? But after 5 minutes and attempting to identify the smell, my body was just fully rejecting it. It started to smell like someone's scalp after not washing their hair for weeks, which I don't necessarily find to be a gross smell. In fact, I quite like that smell. But the mixture of all these notes together is just traumatic.

My brain wasn't letting me figure out what I was smelling because I could tell my brain instinct was telling me, "You're smelling something dangerous, reject it and don't smell it" like when you smell a bio-hazard, or a toxic chemical. This mix of notes creates a unidentifiable, yet human smell. Too human. Blood, cum rag, sweaty hands, skin, hair.

After about half an hour, I tried smelling again. My reaction was even worse than before. I just kept instinctively pushing it away from me the moment I tried to give it a sniff. I'd just dry heave. I was so disappointed. Not in the perfume, but disappointed in myself. "I'm not weird enough to like the weird perfume." I thought. The same night I projectile vomited in the bathroom after smoking a bit too much, this rarely happens. So, I low-key blame this perfume for allowing that to happen and weakening my stomach.

I love perfumes that smell like sweat and body odour, but this was just disgusting. It smells like those scents you block out of your mind the first time you smelled it because it was so traumatising. However, I really like the concept. I wish I had a perfume that evoked the idea, but maybe with less lactonic notes. I think the "off-milk" scent along with the metallic "blood" notes is what was making my body so scared and frustrated. I can not explain the visceral emotional reaction this scent gives me. I have a huge amount of respect for Etat Libre D'orange for creating such a unique, disgusting, bodily perfume with absolutely no attempt to make it pleasing. It's a great marketing technique for their brand, and after smelling their other perfumes, I've found some that I definitely want to buy. Jasmine et Cigarette is amazing, and so is Afternoon of A Faun.

7/10. Higher rating because I have a lot of respect for the nerve and audacity they had to make this. I'm definitely going to buy a bottle of Jasmine Et Cigarette. Very Courtney Love vibes.

[madlori]

Hey! Get a camera up your butt! IT’S GOOD FOR YOU

One of my personal quests is to get everybody to get colonoscopies.

A colonoscopy has an insanely high benefit-to-inconvenience ratio. It’s not just diagnostic, it’s preventative. If they find polyps (which are basically little fleshy growths in your colon), they remove them with a quick little snip snip right there during the exam. Polyps can become cancerous if left in there, so this is actually preventing you from getting colon cancer, which is the FOURTH most common type of cancer after breast, lung and prostate. 

It can also find actual cancer present, but if you’re getting regular exams, they’ll find it early, and treatment is very effective and often pretty easy. My dad had a lil bit of colon cancer but they literally just snipped it out, no radiation or chemo needed, and he’s good to go. If he hadn’t gotten a colonoscopy, he’d probably be dead right now, or he’d have had to go through much more radical treatments.

A regular colonoscopy is one of the most powerful tools in our medical arsenal to prevent a serious illness.

BUT LORI, ISN’T THIS UNCOMFORTABLE, IT’S LITERALLY A CAMERA UP YOUR BUTT.

Yes. Yes, it is. But you won’t care because you’ll be OUT COLD. They knock you out for a colonscopy with a quick-acting and quick-recovery sedative. I am talking about this right now because I had this procedure TODAY. My appointment was at 1030. I think they actually wheeled me into the scoping room at around 1100, and I walked out of the clinic just before noon. I woke up from the sedation and was totally alert within ten minutes. Had a nice lil nap.

Most gastroenterologists recommend now beginning colonoscopies starting at age 45, and getting one every 5 years, or more often depending on the results. But if you have family history, your PCP could refer you for one much earlier. I know a guy who started getting them at 25 because his uncle died of colon cancer, and based on the degree of polyp growth the doctors estimated they started forming in his late teens.

BUT LORI I HEAR THE PREPARATION IS NO FUN.

You’re...not wrong. But it’s really just annoying.

Naturally, to scope your colon, it has to be free of...the substance that usually fills it. So you have to do bowel prep for this. Bowel prep is something you have to do for a variety of procedures but they’re pretty severe about it for this because if your colon isn’t clear they literally can’t see anything, so.

It involves at least 24 hours of no solid food (broth and jello (except red jello) is allowed) and having to drink a prep solution. There are various kinds of these the time frame required is different. My prep was a 4 liter (yes, four LITERS) of a polyethylene glycol salt solution. It’s basically (puts chemistry hat on) a deliquescent solution that pulls water from your body into your intestines which is like turning on a firehose in there. Osmosis FTW. Liquidation sale, everything must go. Don’t go more than twenty feet from a toilet. Lay in some baby wipes. You also have to hydrate like a maniac because you’re shedding water much more than usual and you’ll shrivel up like a mummy if you don’t aggressively hydrate. The solution tastes...not great. I mix Crystal Light into it and it’s better. Mixing in a can of LaCroix was also helpful.

Not all preps are like this. Every clinic has their preferred method. I don’t ask questions. I do what I’m told. Then it’s nothing by mouth at all for 2 hours pre-procedure.

Honestly? The weirdest part is afterwards when you can eat again, and your whole guts have to kind of...fill back up. SO MUCH rumbling and noisemaking and squeaking.

The fun part? My clinic gave me a prinout of various photos of the inside of my colon, all squeaky clean like it hardly ever is. I might frame them.

The take home lesson here is that a colonscopy is super important, can save your life, isn’t uncomfortable at all, and you get to look at the inside of your guts. Win all around.

[ansbobcar]

I MADE KALDO HEADCANONS

This is part of my fanon lore. Suck it up peeps. And because it's with my fanon lore, there will be GEHENNA FAMILY LORE with my oc's DAD???

Also I kinda got obsessed with his pre-cursor twin? Jouno the man you are that soulmate oneshot messed up my brain lol

_ _ _

SO, I made a headcanon a while back that Kaldo's got like heightenned senses. Now, considering the fact he doesn't like use his eyes often (the mashle stage play made them red, idk anything about red and physics except it's like the longest wavelength?) I'd like to think he's a bit like Gojo!

What does that mean?

While Kaldo's senses are heightened, his eyes have the most sensitivity, especially in regards to magic. As a kid, he kinda burned them from looking at the sun for too long.

So why doesn't he wear special glasses or contacts?

The answer is simple: his dad just decided that he could make up for it with his other senses.

Additionally, it's to avoid his former classmate and retired colleague's personal magic at full-force. That former classmate of his father's is Sears Onoji, the former now retired Chief of Magic Police.

What's so bad about Sears Onoji?

"His magic violates your soul, memories and senses. A perfect balance of torture, extraction and submission. Perfect for his duties. He was promoted to Chief of Magic Police a few years after I became Divine Visionary after all." "Could you imagine? Having your entire motivations, weaknesses and strengths, extracted from a simple hallucination or nightmare?" "Now amplify that once a day, or even twice a day. Who wouldn't break?" "5 minutes is all it takes."

Sears Onoji's personal magic is called Fears. It's base spell temporarily paralyzes his target in fear and renders them in a nightmare/hallucination. He is able to extract memories or rather, valuable information regarding his target within less than 5 minutes depending on the accessibility of the memory simply by locking eyes with someone. (No time lag.) The base spell is only able to have 1 target but it's incredibly potent.

Due to Mr. Onoji's incredibly versatile personal magic, he became the Head Warden for the ultra secure prison 'Hecatrice' for a few years after stepping down as Chief of Magic Police. The inmates there are known for being clinically insane, mad, and beyond control with their magic but following his involvement, the prisoners became quiet and more docile, fearful. Shells of their former selves.

His stupid nickname back in their school days was 'Mr Fear'. And it still applies to the present. For this reason, Kaldo's told to be weary of them.

The Gehenna's counter for Fears

Fears requires eye contact between the person and target, as a result, a lack of eye contact from either party will not fulfill the requirements.

Initially, Kaldo's father had planned for him to get used to being blind at a much later age before his eyes got burned on accident since it will be inevitable to encounter the Onoji family at the Bureau.

But due to the accident, Kaldo's complete training (magic, physical, blind) was executed much earlier and has naturally gotten used to not using his eyes. He only does so briefly in daytime and becomes more accustomed to using his eyes during the night but not completely.

As a result, Kaldo's immune to the effects of Fears and information gathering from the strongest member of the Onoji family.

The other members of the Gehenna family are slowly attempting to get used to the voluntary removal of sight but have a harder time doing so and prefer avoiding the Onojis completely instead, unlike himself and his father. This culminates in the Gehennas completely avoiding attending gatherings which involve them, especially Masquerade related ones.

[angelbowerz]

Being pregnant with a Bowers gang member's child

(Wrote this while half-asleep so it's very bad..sorry lol)

Tw- abortion

Henry:

-oh god...

-okay,the second you tell him you're pregnant..he freezes and wants to just die on the spot

"I'm pregnant"

"You're...what....?"

-if he could...that boy would RUN all the way to damn Australia just to get away from the situation

-more scared about his dad finding out so he'll probably begg you to keep it a secret

-of you refuse to abort it (even after his begging) he'll probably ignore you or say something like this:

"I want nothing to do with that baby but I'm still your boyfriend."

-he'll ignore you for a few months, then when he realises you're actually keeping it and you're showing...then he'll be a good guy (for once)

"OKAY FINE! I'll look after the damn baby🙄"

-he eventually told his dad...and ended up forced to live in your home

-if its a boy..he'll force you to name him 'Henry Bowers Jr' and Henry would definitely raise it to be just like him (lord save us)

-he'd love a boy but if it's a girl he'll just say some stupid 'joke' about having so many children until he gets a son

-when the baby is like minutes old, Henry will be ruthless😭

"Are you sure this kid is mine? Looks like a goblin to me"

-anyway..once you're all grown up, married to him n everything...it definitely won't be a happy marriage, he'll end up like his father but a not as bad version

Patrick:

-not really much to say apart from the fact he'll either force you to an abortion clinic or will do things (stress you out, putting things in your drinks etc) hoping to make the baby go..and it eventually does

-he only did it for his own pleasure, not caring how you'll feel about loosing the baby

-yeah that's it lol

Reggie:

-PANIC MODE

-he uses atleast 5x protection so how you ended up pregnant would be a mystery

-May have doubts about actually being the baby's father since bro uses so much protection

-but he'll never tell you that

-he would be the BEST father out of the gang

-so supportive of you

-need or want something? He'll be outside your door with said item within 5 minutes

-would refuse to leave your side

-buys so many clothes/toys/plushies for the baby

-when you're in Labour he'll try to be some supportive coach but in reality it just annoys you

"PUSH Y/N PUSH! YOU CAN DO THIS!"

"Reggie I swear to god-!"

-so adorable

-I could see Reggie having a crazy amount of children (like 10)..goodluck with that

(Not writing Victor for this one because I'm bad at writing for him and I'm too lazy to lol...sorry Victor fan girlies)

[hedghost]

watching the lionesses game on replay and here are my thoughts (please note i’m very drunk as i write this and also i’m in considerable feminine pain):

1. grace clinton is STAND OUT! … she has been actually exceptional within the england squad and fully fully deserves that starting position - much more visible and vital than any other midfielder in the squad at the minute, genuinely the bright spark amongst a fading england team

2. niamh charles is so quietly understated but she is absolutely brilliant, she is such a rock force on the left hand side and absolutely has kept us in the game - truly an incredible defender and deserves to be a mainstay within the lionesses starting lineup.

3. we got very lucky with regards to rolfo- an excellent player who exploited our defence multiple times and yet we got by the score line purely out of luck and chance. against clinical teams/ lady luck we would drastically suffer

4. lauren james deserves her flowers - despite not getting a goal the assist was vital in the fact we scored, that goal was all her and she deserves the valid recognition within the england squad. consistently a brilliant player who is genuinely the future of england.

5. alex greenwood holds our defence together and she deserves the recognition that brings / genuinely the only england player who i believe deserves mainstay status within the squad at this point. consistently vital

6. i’m yet to be convinced by wubben-moy - her attacking play is decent but in terms of defence she seems to lose her player too often - i feel her good form for club has come from a lack of defensive mindset from the rest of her team, but when she plays for england she struggles to make herself seen as a stand out defender, especially amidst players like greenwood and charles

7. i wish khiara wasn’t injured because i genuinely want to see her input in a game like this. while i think earps is huge for england, i’m desperate to see how keating translates into this team, and i want big game experience for her to prove herself because i fear earps has hesitatance within games like this

8. russo’s hold up play is excellent as always - she just requires more help form players to convert her play into goals, whether those are scored by her or others - there’s this level of disjointedness between attackers that leads to us wasting chances when we should absolutely score

9. the sweden goal came from multiple defensive errors- you could blame any which one of our defenders from that (mainly lb but i’m an lb defender so)

overall takeaway- we played well but were wasteful with chances

stand out players for me: grace clinton, lauren james and alex greenwood. give my girls their flowers

[cerislabnotes]

Researchers Note 311: 15 Minutes

(CW: Body Horror, Blood, Medical) The genetics team are testing something I am incredibly conflicted about.

Decided to write it down here instead of stewing on it.

Humanity Replacement Therapy in 15 minutes.

Other than a long, long recovery time, it does what we have spent decades working on and what patients spend years dealing with in 15 minutes.

The creator floated it with a comic in the labs, yet the team ran away with it. And it looks like not only is it ready for a release, but it's clinically the same treatment. It does exactly what the TheraSMD335 process does.

But in 15 minutes.

The treatment is almost exactly the same as ours.

Ingestion of SMDs before treatment.

Analysis through the computer-aided splice software,

proton beam splitting,

but through /REDACTED; PROPRIETARY/ the SMDs trigger instantaneous cell changes as well as near-instantaneous replication to match the selected species anatomy.

I am not entirely sure how everything knows when to stop when the transformation is at such an accelerated pace, but that's a question for Red at another time.

All of this is coupled with a need for fluid/mineral delivery through... some means due to so much being lost in the rapid changes.

The pro is obvious; the con is terrifying.

4-6 years of body growth and changes, literal anatomy reconstruction, in 15 minutes.

The body horror that must be under observation.

The pain must be incredible. A small write-up in the post-treatment chart showed horrors incomprehensible.

Within seconds, the patient started to bleed profusely.

Every bone stretched or molded for their new size. Every bit of skin metamorphosized. Horns tearing through skin, nails falling off replaced by claws, wings ripping through old skin while new skin races to catch up with the bones behind.

And blood. So so much blood.

Processes that take years and years,

over in 15 minutes.

After the treatment was completed, their body just... oozed from all the stretching.

I know I'm hung up on the number, but it's absolutely unbelievable.

Hell, the last patient files show the patient in recovery and physical therapy for almost a year.

They had to learn how to walk again.

They had to learn to ***breathe*** again.

But.

They became a dragon, and after 5 days out, they woke up and were the happiest they'd been in their life.

No comings out, no awkward days, no confusion, no being something in the mirror that isn't there.

They didn't have to suffer through years of the world to get there.

They woke up, and were themself.

Since my journey with HRT is at a stable point, I can only look back upon this.

But I ask myself regularly now,

After all, I've been through, would I do it?

Anything, for it just to be 15 minutes.

-Ceriden

[atwooozi]

Almost Perfect (Sebastian x Fem!Farmer) Chapter 3: Friday

Warnings: Slow burn, personal struggles, anxiety, depression, eventual smut

Summary: It's Friday which means Angeline will be doing what she can to integrate herself with the townspeople of Pelican Town at the saloon. One of the things she so desperately wanted when she moved out here was to feel like she was part of something and hopefully that happens.

A/N: When writing this I kept going back and forth on whether I wanted to include characters from SVE and I decided plot-wise it would make a lot of sense for Sebastian's character arc. It might be a bit clumsy, but I'll try my best to include a majority of the characters where I think it makes sense.

READ ON AO3

Chapter 3: Friday

Spring 5

Angeline dusted herself off and checked her phone. It was 3:30, and she still had time before meeting Sam and his friends. He didn’t specify when Angeline should meet up with them but he mentioned them getting there around 5:30. Since she had been here Angeline had met a handful of people and while they were nice she was looking forward to meeting more people around her age. 

She had met Alex, and while he was handsome he made her feel so small. While she didn’t want to take it to heart she couldn’t help but be put off by him. When she told him her name he seemed to outright refuse to learn it, settling just for farmgirl. It felt dehumanizing. Not to mention Haley. Haley was stunning, like a model. However, Haley’s beauty couldn’t cover up the way she looked Angeline over and brushed her off when she tried to introduce herself. It made Angeline feel like she was back in high school all over again. 

At least Sam was nice. Who was she kidding? Sam embodied sunshine. He was pure goodness put into a lanky blonde. Angeline hoped his friends were the same. She couldn’t really handle the high school antics for a second time when she was teen that was more than enough for her. 

Angeline looked around her farm. She made quick work of it once Lewis and Robin left. She cleared what she could and while that wasn’t much given her rusty tools it was enough to plant her first batch of crops. She was proud of herself, truly. She wasn’t completely sure if she was going to make it three days before calling her dad, begging to be picked up. Maybe it was just out of spite that she was making so much progress, but she didn’t care. Angeline had kept plants in Zuzu and they did okay, but this was going to be her livelihood now she needed it to be perfect or at least worth the effort she put in.

Angeline put her tools away and went inside her cabin, grabbing her makeup bag and some toiletries to freshen up a bit at the spa. She couldn’t believe that her grandpa did this every day. She had never felt so sore in her life. As she made her way up north she spotted the man that lived in the yellow tent near Robin’s house. She gave him a small wave and he hurried off in the opposite direction when they made eye contact. Angeline frowned, aside from Lewis, Robin, Sam, and Marnie everyone else felt stand-offish (at least of the few that she met) like back in Zuzu. She stopped herself, it hadn’t even been a full week yet she couldn’t give up yet. She was new, and a new person wasn’t necessarily something that happened in Pelican Town often. They would warm up to her. She would have friends and she was going to make this work. She had to.  

~*~

Angeline made her way to townsquare and took in the scenery. A general store, a clinic, and a saloon all within a few feet of each other. Angeline liked it, in Zuzu if she wanted to hit up the grocery store, her doctor’s office, and a decent restaurant she would take at least two different trains not even including the train she would need to take, plus, the 15 minute walk that she would then need to take from the station to her apartment. 

Angeline was about to check out the bulletin board when she bumped into someone. 

“Oh I’m so sorry.” The red head gaped. “I was just trying to look at the calendar. “ 

Angeline shook her head and smiled at the girl. She looked a bit like Robin. Was this Maru? “My name is Angeline. I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” 

“I’m Penny.” The red head smiled and held out her hand. Okay, so not Maru. Just another red head. Not all red heads are related, Angeline. 

Angeline smile and shook Penny’s hand. Her hand was slim and a bit cold. Penny was pretty. Angeline could picture Penny being the star of one of those cheesy rom-coms where the jaded-city business exec tries to buy up a historical building to place condos in the quiet town, but Penny would win them over with her charm and down-to-earth feel. 

“I should be going. I still need to get this one home.” Penny gestured and looked towards a boy with strawberry blonde hair. Are they related? Angeline couldn’t really tell if she was going just by hair then it was definitely a maybe. 

Angeline nodded, “Have a nice night. It was nice meeting you Penny.” 

Penny smiled and gave a small wave, leading the small boy away towards what she believed was Sam’s house. Were they all related? 

Angeline shook her head. That didn’t matter right now, she made her way into the saloon. It felt cozy despite how large the building was. The wood and the fire made the bar feel warm and inviting. 

For the second time someone had bumped into her. She quickly shuffled away from the door and looked over her shoulder to see a guy with somewhat stringy hair and a five o’clock shadow. He looked tired and maybe a bit sad? 

“I’m sor–” Before she could even get here apology out the guy brushed past her and made his way to the far corner of the bar. 

Angeline sighed and made her way to the bar. The people of Pelican Town have been a bit of a mixed bag. She felt like maybe she was putting too high of expectations on the people here, but so far she felt alone if not more alone than she felt in the city. She felt herself tearing up and her body began to tremble. Her anxiety was starting to get the best of her. Maybe moving out here was a mistake. Before a tear could fall Angeline felt a hand reach out over her own. She looked up to see a woman with striking blue hair and matching blue eyes. 

“I can read your face,” she smiled warmly. “You’re going to love it here.” 

I am? Angeline swallowed her anxiety back and returned the smile she had been given. “I hope so.” 

“I know so.” The woman replied with a firm nod. “My name is Emily. If you’re ever looking for something to do come by the saloon. I’m always here.” 

Angeline nodded, “I’m Angeline.” She let out a deep breath. “Can I have some water, please?” 

“Of course!” Emily smiled and quickly served her a glass. 

Angeline drank her water and scanned the room, before she could find something to focus on a hand clapped her on the back. “Angeline!” She straightened and turned to see Robin with a tall man standing behind her. 

“I’m glad you came!” She turned towards the man behind her. “This is my husband, Demetrius.” 

Demetrius gave a slight nod and a small smile as a greeting. “How’s the farm? Are you getting used to the slow pace of the valley?” 

Angeline shrugged and gave a polite smile. “It’s a little overwhelming but I’m doing my best.” 

Robin smiled and nodded. “Oh good.” She sighed, “ I wish we brought Maru– our daughter. She’s been anxious to meet you.” 

Demetrius cut in. “She is quite busy though with all her work, so it will have to be a different day.” 

Robin nodded and gave a small frown before brightening a bit. “But you can at least meet my son, Sebby, I mean, Sebastian, he’s a bit shy but he’s a good boy.” When Sebastian was mentioned a complicated expression that Angeline couldn’t quite read spread over Demetrius’s face as he stepped away to socialize with Lewis. 

Robin frowned as she watched Demetrius step away but she turned back to Angeline with a smile. “He should be in the game room with his friends.”

Robin nodded towards the room off to the right. “Go say hi. Sam, Abby, and Victor are sweet kids, too.” with some light cajoling from Robin Angeline made it to the game room. She peeked her head in and she felt three sets of eyes fall on her. 

“... Like I was saying, you should totally think about being our drummer Abs.” Sam said, “Maybe you, too, Victor. Do you play anything?”  When Sam looked up from the pool table at Abigail and Sebastian he followed their line of sight and immediately straightened. “Angeline! I was worried you weren’t going to come.” 

Angeline took a step into the game room towards Sam and waved shyly at Abby and Sebastian. “Hi I’m Angeline. I just moved here from Zuzu. I-I’m taking over the old farm.” she said in a voice that didn’t feel like her own. It felt softer and scared than what she was used to. She felt like she was intruding on an already tight-knit friend group. Sam was very welcoming and friendly, but the energy that Sebastian and Abigail gave was intense and a bit intimidating. She looked over towards the arcade cabinets and gave a small smile to the other young man in the gameroom. She wasn’t sure if he was also friends with the others, but he felt far less intimidating than the violet and raven haired pair on the opposite side of the room. Robin said shy when describing her son and sweet when talking about Sam, Abby, and Victor, but all she could feel was her own anxiety. Angeline pushed some hair behind her ear to soothe her nerves but she felt small under their stares like how she did with Alex and Haley.

Abby got up from her seat on the couch and walked over to Angeline. “Hey I’m Abigail, but you can call me Abby.” 

“Hey” Angeline said softly. 

“I always liked exploring the fields of the old farm, but I guess it’s cool that you’re taking over.” 

Angeline smiled and gave a shrug, “It’s still a bit overgrown in some spots, so you can still explore whenever.” 

Abby returned Angeline’s smile and led her to the couch. “Really?” 

Angeline nodded. “Yeah sure.” Maybe Abby was sweet she just seemed a little guarded at first?

~*~ 

Angeline had really loosened up as she spoke with Abigail and with Sam and Victor, the man standing near the games, interjecting every now and then. Sebastian however only spoke to Abby and Sam, though. He didn’t even seem to care that Angeline was there. He only focused on his pool game with Sam or would look Abby’s way to answer a question or quip at either of his friends. He seemed nice when speaking with them, funny even. Angeline couldn’t help but think that maybe she had done something to upset him. She didn’t know what it could be but she must’ve done something. Perhaps it was the fact that she was there in the first place? Friend groups were tricky and introducing someone new was never an easy thing. It felt apparent given that the group didn’t interact much with Victor either despite him seeming so kind.  

Angeline studied Sebastian as he lined up his shot, she never knew of someone being so shy that they just ignored a person’s existence. Of course anything was possible but was that truly the issue that Sebastian was having with her? She wasn’t sure. All she knew is that him icing her out completely made her feel on edge. 

Angeline checked the time, it was 9:20. “I should get going” she said as she stood up. 

“Already?” Sam pouted. 

“Yeah I have to get up at 6. Farm work.” Angeline lamented. 

“That sucks.” Abby frowned. 

“It was nice meeting you Angeline.” Victor gave her a kind smile. “Don’t be a stranger.”

Angeline returned Victor’s smile and shrugged at Abby. “It is what it is.” She walked towards the door. “Thanks for the nice night. Goodnight Sam, Abby, Sebastian, Victor.” She waved and made her way out of the saloon and to her farm. Aside from a few hiccups Angeline felt that maybe she would be okay. She hoped Emily was right that she’d love it here.