cerislabnotes

[cerislabnotes]

Eldritch HRT part 20

The Question

——

I want to be a mom.. but can I even get pregnant?

Do I even have a womb?

I’m so worried the answer will be no but the fact it might be possible.. it gives me hope.

——

First | Previous | Next

[cerislabnotes]

i been having some.. okay.. many problems as of late, but i got around to doing a little comic about it that i actually liked since is the first real thing i draw using my tablet, so i wanted to share it along with a little update on my current situation for those curious

--------

so i found out what caused me to almost faint the other day.. it was actually my antibiotics (because of the dog bite), but in doing my blood tests, i discovered i have a lot more messed up, but after researching its actually because of stress, but like.. a lot of it, is causing my hypophysis to freak out like if my life was in constant danger lol, so i need to chill now, at least for a week or so

second panel is an accurate representation of me during the past month and a half of constant misfortunes x-x

[cerislabnotes]

Personal Note 3?: Reality

I walked into the doctor's office today as a patient, not staff. I've done it before, a year before today, to start this process to be, me. But today is different, because today I get to decide who I am going to be. What I get to see. How I am going to be.

A lot of us have shown our ideal selves. Written, drawn, and even commissioned artwork of how we *want* to be. What comes out on the other side of a process that makes us ugly, and broken. Ideally, we want to be something specific, not just species, but exact features. But as I sat with the doctor, those choices didn't seem to be coming up. Nothing about color, or style, or size. Just how far we wanted to go. What type of accommodations am I willing to make.

Unfortunately, in reality, even if we get to choose to be ourselves, we don't get a choice of what the process delivers.

Genesight has shown what I'll become, and what will never come. I'll never be a skinny lizard. My skin won't change color. Scales will never develop. And my wings will never be able to support me.

It's made me think of all those others whose transitions haven't delivered what they wanted. Yet, it's still what they needed.

Reality doesn't reflect the want; it reflects the need. No amount of magic, science, or hope changes what reality delivers.

I thanked the doctor, bundled myself into my car, and cried for at least half an hour. Those tears weren't just for me, but for everyone who has to face this reality.

[cerislabnotes]

I know Ive been quiet for awhile, but! I've been busy helping out at another clinic! (Thank you so much for the cameo @mecknavorz)

HYDRA HRT 8: THE SURGERY

but honestly, in spite of everything, I'd do it again if I had to.

I'd do it again if I could.

cameo-ing one @cerislabnotes of Nuclenetic Dragon HRT!

< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >

[cerislabnotes]

me when we start eating billionaires and i have to kill gomez addams

[cerislabnotes]

[cerislabnotes]

:O Treats that I can then give out! It's a Halloweensmas miracle! :3

trick or treats

I got robbed of my treats, so I guess I have to get the trick :(

[cerislabnotes]

trick or treats

I got robbed of my treats, so I guess I have to get the trick :(

[cerislabnotes]

Therian HRT Tarot Cards - 0 The Fool

Featuring Candy.

The Fool is about New Beginnings, about New Experiences. We might not know where we're going as we transition, but that's fine. And even if you think you know where you want to end up, you probably won't know how to get there.

There's nothing wrong with missteps and false starts, just so long as you keep your head up and find your way to where you need to go. Just do what you can, and you'll get somewhere eventually.

[cerislabnotes]

Research Note 83: Accidents 1 (Wings)

Welp, while developing the proton beam process for this aHRT I knew there would be problems, and accidents. BUT, today, we nearly had a disaster. I'm in the accelerator room, laying awkwardly as hell underneath the proton track (where the beam races down to the patient), working on tightening it back up, when one of the lab's directors comes in, and wants to see progress on the system. NO ONE CHECKED ON ME. I'm just laying there, wrenching away, while the start flailing the arm around, showing off all the positions it can do and how fast it can move, when he suggests he wants to see it fire. So, they start up the accelerator. I am so incredibly lucky that I dropped my wrench, and rolled over to grab it, because that's when the beam went through, hit the break I was working on, and scattered all over my back. My scream was apparently visceral. You could hear it through a half foot of concrete. They found me, still 'sissling' apparently. I was awake but in the shockiest shock possible. If I hadn't started on my treatment, I'd probably be dead. But since I already have so much dragon in me, it just burnt the crap out of my back. Unfortunately, the doctors are already telling me that "your wings 'should' grow in normally still." Aka, all of that has been messed up bad but we won't know until they grow in.... I expect them to be tattered and unusable... There is no excuse for the soon-to-be fox that pushed the button to have not checked, and I wish I felt bad for firing him. First, saying the director asked, but didn't demand was a poor start. But then saying, "I'm just so fox brained" put me absolutely over the edge. I sometimes think the point where beings should be put in feral care should be moved up, but I am incredibly biased right now. I do know, I won't be keeping anyone past the crossroads on my staff. Not anymore. -Ceri

[cerislabnotes]

Eldritch HRT part 16

Waiting room

——

I hate this.. I hate the clinic, the doctor, and this whole intrusive bullshit!

I just… I just….

I.. I miss my friends… I miss hanging out…

But it feels like this- this transition is causing more problems than solving them…

——

Featuring

Penny - @pennymations

I want to give a big thank you to Penny! You can read her Bovine HRT on her channel, including a follow up to this part!

——

First | Previous | Next

[cerislabnotes]

Bovine HRT, Part 16:

Ice Cream

After seeing my friend Mars for the first time in forever, we decided to meet for ice cream to cheer each other up!

Ft. @dawning-mars (Eldritch HRT) !!

Previous | First | Next

[cerislabnotes]

there’s something missing

[cerislabnotes]

🐄 im mattie hi its cowsharktober and hallmooween is coming so dont fall smth smth the cow jumped over the moon

[cerislabnotes]

Oh, if only.

The best stretch.

[cerislabnotes]

Research Note 112: Procedures

Dr. Wood wants me to write down a day of mine and send it for reference, so I'm gonna do it my way, and edit it later. "Explain it like I'm an intern following you." Sure thing doc.

*QUE UP MR. BLUESKY BY ELO on the playlist*

Wakeup with 10 minutes till I have to leave. Rush out to car, hop in and drive to the clinic. I usually make it with 20 minutes to spare. Morning meeting, with about half of us in treatment its definitely getting diverse, haha! Everyone talks about any updates with equipment, goes over a patient list and needs, and then shares how their treatment is going for research purposes. It also helps us provide better patient experience.

I then go over to the patient intake rooms and talk with the nurses who help prescribe the gene therapy part of the treatment. I ensure they know where we plan to do beam work on each patient so they can help prep them and answer any questions. Less of a surprise really helps. Sometimes, the bioengineers are around, and I pick their brains on how they make up the different species and treatments. It's incredible how much they can do with a pill.

We usually get our first patients at 10. They go through the waiting room and get called back to an intake room to speak with the nurses first. The usual vitals and weight are taken (if the patient can fit on the scale), and they go through a long questionnaire to see how they've felt, changes they've noticed, and concerns they have. If they are a returning patient, they'll usually get a physical on areas we have treated, a blood panel, and nurses will search for any malformities in their changes. Doctors, mainly geneticists, will come in after, and prescribe their next course of medication (that has to be synthesized at our lab; they'll update any changes and work on filling while the rest of the treatment is happening.)

I'm not always patient-facing, but when I can be, (I love helping with this part), I fill in often. I'll get called to come and escort the patient to a diagnostics room. This lab has every scanner, x-ray, and probe imaginable. Patients are put on this table that is built like a shoe sizer, which spreads them into a t-pose. The diagnostics are operated by a radiologist while a geneticist overwatches the scans. Most patients fall asleep in the half-ish hour this takes. Between the computer and their decisions, new treatment areas are chosen. If need be, a nuclear operator (like me!) can fill in for the radiologist, as the diagnostics are effectively the same as in the proton beam machine.

It's important to remind the reader, the beam therapy not only eliminates any malformed cells or abnormal changes, but helps break down areas that are stubborn for the new species cells to fill. Think of it as blowing microscopic holes that the animal goop fills, then spreads around.

*Que "Dyson Sphere" by Epic Mountain music (kurzgesagt) on the playlist*

We'll then pull the patient out of diagnostics, and let them have a few minutes to stretch and relax before they are taken down a winding concrete hallway into the treatment room. Then, they get laid back down on a table similar to the one before in a dark room with a glow around the table and beam arm. Have you ever played Portal? The arm looks like GLaDOS, but with a narrowing probe down to the end. This time, the patient is restrained lightly by thin bands about every 10 inches. They cannot move while the beam is firing, or it might get healthy tissue! The technician then leaves the room back through the winding corridor and works from a station remotely. There has to be so much separation and concrete so someone doesn't accidentally get blasted by protons. The computer will then retrace where the geneticists and other computers highlighted, firing beams like lines in a tattoo. The real sci-fi part of this treatment is how the beam selects depth, and how fast it can track and find new targets. This technology was originally experimented with to help break down radiation-damaged cells, and then cancer, but it also works very well on removing the cancer that is humanity. (<-Joke, kinda) Even more than that, we've discovered ways to augment treatments for, well, everything. My favorite is using [REDACTED] to create cosmic rays for cosmic beings. (We've been accused of creating gods, demons, and horrors with this, but that's for another note) For about 30 minutes again, the arm will whirr and buzz around the patient. Midsession, the beam will stop, and run a second scan to verify nothing is reacting poorly to being beamed out of existence. It then goes back to targeting and firing. Most patients fall asleep while it goes; I've felt a sunburn-like feeling where I've gotten my treatments, but it usually dissipates by the end of the day.

*Que "Science Fiction Double Feature" From the Rocky horror picture show on the playlist* I'll give them about 5 minutes unless they are antsy, then come in and release them. Usually help them stand up, catch their balance, and walk out. I keep lollypops at the door, and make sure everyone gets one. They then go back to intake to get one last look over before being sent on their way, with most returning in 3 months.

My regular job, now that we are out of development, is relatively simple. In between patients, I do a complete inspection of the patient-facing part of the machine, then go back into the equipment rooms and verify everything is still functioning. The particle accelerator needs 'fueled' every treatment. We also have to verify the cooling system is optimum. It is extremely risky for a patient to get incomplete treatment, so the system has to be perfect each time.

At the end of the day, (6ish) I'll check all the systems. I try to wipe down all the stainless every day to keep it nice (and scifi looking) and look over the days data for any anomalies we might need to fix the next day. I'll lock up the beam room, say bye to the second shift researchers and analysts, and leave, making it home by 8 and usually passing out after takeout. If it wasn't for the patients, it would be the most boring job. But, thanks to the real stories, it never is. There, a long-form, first day in the life of Ceri the kinda sorta dragon. -Ceri

[cerislabnotes]

Bird HRT part 13

the removal of the slime...?

first