#but who else in my generation can say that they skipped church to go to the opera?

[thebirdandhersong]

I should've just given my ticket away and gone to church when I realised that the opera was during the same time as the Candlemas service yesterday......I would've been a lot happier and my soul would've benefited a lot more 😭😭😭

[cherrypikkins]

Here is my contribution to the final prompt from @fe-oc-week! Oct 15 - Endings

With some fake game ending cgs for Kitt :3

No extra lore write-up today! Instead, I've included some sample battle dialogue below the cut. Do enjoy :3

Background generously provided by @damnilovefaerghus

vs transformed Miklan (Conand Tower, White Clouds):

Kitt: "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this… But that's why I'm here."

Kitt: "Listen, Professor. If you can crack its armor, I'll make quick work of it."

Kitt: "But if you want to give your students an impromptu lesson on how to fell a Demonic Beast… I won't object."

If ordered to attack transformed Miklan: Kitt: "Fine, then. Allow me to show you how it's done."

vs Edelgard:

(Battle of Garreg Mach, pre-time skip)

Edelgard: "You and I are not so different, Kitt. I know you wish to be free of the Church's machinations. We might have walked this path together, had you trusted me."

Kitt: "This is rich, coming from the Flame Emperor herself. Your entire reign is built on lies and secrets. I can't trust you any more than I can trust the Church."

Kitt: "And as they say, better the devil you know…"

(Battle at Enbarr, Silver Snow/Verdant Wind)

Kitt: "Edelgard. Let Rhea go. I don't know what you have planned for her, but she and I have a score to settle."

Edelgard: "I am not concerned with vendettas of the ancient past, nor will they have a place in Fodlan's new dawn."

Edelgard: "You of all people should understand what it's like to be powerless, to have all control over your own fate wrested away by the likes of Rhea and her ilk."

Edelgard: "Knowing that, how can you truly wish for her to walk free?"

Kitt: "Because no one deserves to be buried underground, sealed away from the rest of the world and forgotten, left to the mercy of their jailers."

Kitt: "Believe me, I do understand."

(Battle at Enbarr, Azure Moon)

Kitt: "That's quite the transformation, Edelgard. Well done. You've already mastered what I've had to practice in secret for years."

Kitt: "But surely you must know what happens to monsters like you and me. I'll cut you down, same as all the rest.

Hegemon Edelgard: "You are welcome to try."

vs Seteth:

(Battle at Garreg Mach, pre time-skip, Crimson Flower)

Seteth: "Of all people, I thought you would have learned not to repeat the mistakes of the past."

Seteth: "Stand down, lest I be forced to repeat some mistakes of my own."

Kitt: "Seteth. Didn't you promise long ago that the people of Annwen would suffer no harm under your protection?"

Kitt: "I've been meaning to talk to you about that. But for now, it looks like we'll have to fight each other instead."

(Battle at Garreg Mach, post time-skip, Crimson Flower)

Kitt: "Hello, Seteth. You've quite the nerve to show your face around here."

Seteth: "You took the words out of my mouth."

Seteth: "To think, after everything we've tried to do for you, you would once again betray our trust and bear teeth against your own family."

Kitt: "Ha. You're one to talk about trust or family. Even that kid you called 'sister' was getting tired of your never-ending charade."

Seteth: "You will not drag Flayn into this! No matter who you are, know that I will destroy you to safeguard her if I must!"

Kitt: "Then you should have thought about that before bringing her here."

(If Kitt defeats Seteth)

Kitt: "Take Flayn and leave Garreg Mach - now - before I end your life. This is the only chance I'm giving you. I suggest you take it."

Seteth: "I… I understand. We will not meet again."

Seteth: "Regardless of everything else… I am grateful for your mercy. It is certainly more than we have shown you, and more than either of us deserve."

Kitt: "Don't come back."

vs Flayn:

(Battle at Garreg Mach, pre time-skip, Crimson Flower)

Flayn: "Kitt, what are you doing? You cannot truly mean to fight us! We're your family!"

Kitt: "You and I seem to have wildly different ideas about how this 'family' is supposed to work."

Kitt: "For example, if you get to call Seteth 'brother'… where does that leave me?"

Flayn: "I… That's not…"

Kitt: "Not what? Not fair?"

Kitt: "I'll tell you what else isn't fair - being treated like some lost broken toy you can fix and heal until I'm good as new. Better than new. Until there's nothing left of the old me."

Kitt: "Why couldn't you just let me stay asleep forever?"

(Battle at Garreg Mach, post time-skip, Crimson Flower)

Flayn: "Why are you doing this, Kitt?"

Kitt: "Not one step closer, Flayn."

Flayn: "Tell me, I beg of you! I wish only to understand! In what way have I done you wrong? What must I do to make amends?"

Kitt: "Enough! I know you only have the best wishes at heart, but I won't serve as a vessel for your good intentions."

Kitt: "And unlike you, I refuse to spend the rest of my life hiding behind a web of lies and secrets."

Flayn: "Kitt… I know not what to say. To think that it should come to this…"

(If Kitt defeats Flayn)

Kitt: "Find your father and go. Leave this place and never come back."

Flayn: "I… Yes. I will do as you say."

Flayn: "I wish you nothing but happiness for the rest of your days. Good-bye, Kitt."

Kitt: "…Good-bye, Flayn."

vs Rhea:

(Final Battle, Silver Snow)

Kitt: "This is just like what happened at Annwen… and the day I was struck down."

Kitt: "Rhea. This disaster is of your own making. But to suffer like this is too much for anyone to bear - even you."

Kitt: "Like all the beasts I've felled before, I'll put an end to your pain."

(Battle at Garreg Mach, pre-time skip, Crimson Flower)

Rhea: "I see you are determined stand against me here once more, after all the mercy I've shown you, after every second chance I've given. You truly are the capricious one, aren't you?"

Kitt: "I discarded that name long ago. It's just Kitt now."

(Battle at Tailtean, Crimson Flower)

Seiros: "You. I know what you are. I've seen your true face, for it has haunted me since that day I struck you down."

Seiros: "I did everything in my power to make amends, to restore you to full glory, just like she bade me. And yet once more, I must destroy you where you stand."

Kitt: "You still haven't figured it out, have you? She set you up with an impossible task. It was never in your power to reverse the deeds of the past."

Kitt: "No matter how hard you try, some things can never be fixed, nor healed, nor restored to what they once were. She was trying to teach you a lesson."

Kitt: "But it's fine. I've moved on from that. And so can you."

Seiros: "You know I cannot. I was never as quick to change as you are. Nor will I stop trying to bring her back, even if you are determined to betray her memory time and time again."

(Battle of Fhirdiad, Crimson Flower)

The Immaculate One: "You! Miserable, conniving serpent who dares hide itself among the flock!"

The Immaculate One: "You are not worthy of her blessing! Not worthy of her blood! I should have sealed you in your own grave while I had the chance!"

Kitt: "Yes, you should have. But don't be sad. The moment you're gone from this world, I won't be far behind."

As enemy, if not recruited:

(Battle at Garreg Mach, post-time skip, Crimson Flower, if Kitt not recruited)

Kitt: "It's a shame we can't catch up, for old time's sake. Too bad I must ask you to move."

Kitt: "…Or by all means, keep on testing me. You're not going to like what happens next, and neither am I."

If defeated:

Kitt: "Into the dark, once more. Maybe this time…forever."

vs Byleth:

(Battle at Garreg Mach, post-time skip, Crimson Flower, if Kitt not recruited)

Kitt: "Professor. Did I ever tell you? How much you remind me of someone I once knew?"

Kitt: "Long ago, she told me that the moment I've decided who my people are, I must fight to protect them with everything I have. Even if it means defying the Goddess herself."

Kitt: "…I suppose you don't know or remember, do you? Yet here you are, following in her example, just as I am doing now."

TWISTD Members:

vs Solon

(Remire Village)

Kitt: "I should have known it was you. You're the one who started all this. First my village, and now…Remire."

Solon: "So now you know who I am, Ghost of Annwen. But if you think I'm but simple prey for you to hunt down, you are gravely mistaken!"

(Sealed Forest)

Solon: "Take not one step closer, Demon of Annwen! Lest your weakness for these beasts prove your undoing!"

Kitt: "What's the matter, Tomas? I thought you always dreamed of finding out how the story ends."

vs Kronya

Kronya: "You don't scare me. You're nothing but a stupid ghost story! I'll send you back to the filthy grave you crawled up from, you little freak!"

Kitt: "So you've heard of me from your darling bedtime stories. I guess I won't have to explain what happens to you next."

vs Cornelia

Cornelia: "Well now. This really won't do. I'll have to put an end to you quickly."

Kitt: "And I'll be sure to end you slowly."

vs Thales

Thales: "You insatiable wretch! That you would choose to menace me now, here, of all places!"

Kitt: "Don't look so shocked. I did promise I'd be back for the rest of you, didn't I?"

[yourbookcouldbegayer]

heya! i'm planning to write my characters (queers and allies) going to a pride parade, but i have never been to one so i'm wondering if you can help me describe the atmosphere and how people interact with each other during the parade? or are there any resources i can look into about pride parades?

tysm!

I highly encourage you to go to one if you are able, but I know it's not something everyone can just do. My experience under the cut

First, it's my impression that they vary vased on how accepting the setting is. I live in the US in a very liberal area, and that influences my experience a lot, given that a) it's 80% either organizations or buisnesses of some kind showing support, and b) I don't encounter a smidgen of hate/counterprotest.

So my Pride starts as a parade down the street and into the park, where it settles and becomes a festival. I personally enjoy the festival far more.

Most people going , who aren't part of the parade, wear something with a flag on it, the rainbow being the most common. But more and more you'll see flags you don't recognize. People give out stickers-- either rainbow flags in different iterations or hearts with several of the most common flags. Wearing pride flags is very common.

There are usually a couple people with shopping carts so full of flags, boards displaying stuffed animals, large pins, and other things for sale. They start going around the parade area early on. This if good is you want a flag before the parade, but I usually avoid them-- usually these are not queer sellers, and are simply reselling products they bought elsewhere. That said, it was the only place last year I found a 7 stripe sunset lesbian flag.

People there are generally freindly, complimenting pride themed outfits and stuff. There are families with kids there as well as young adults.

The parade, for me, is mainly organizations supporting us-- the grocery store, churches, local politicians, the police (🙄🙄🙄 I went stony silent for them), ect. Groups that I loved tto see though was the local POC Queer group, Planned Parenthood, and my absolute favorite, a local social liberation group. I loved that last one so much because someone was shouting protest chants and there were signs calling for change in trans rights and stuff-- 90% of pride is a parade, not a protest, and feeling the protest energy made me so so happy.

Most people marching are in tshirts associated with theor organization that say something about pride. But you also see a lot of people with pride flags, rainbow butterfly wings. There is usually at least 1 float full of, plus a few other, drag queens. There's the gay bar's float with mostly men dressed in very little. There's giant bubbles or bubble guns. People in the parade will toss out candy, flags, support bracelets, ect to the audience-- also condoms, but I didn’t see any this year. But that might've been because I was near a lot of kids.

At the festival you have:

All those organizations have a booth. There is usually free stuff and sometimes spin to win (pay to spin)

However, you also have local small businesses! There's a good amount that make queer stuff, usually a metaphysical booth, jewelry, pins (fun pronoun pins), flags, umbrellas, fans, pretty much anything you can think of that can have a pride flag, including homemade stuff

The shopping carts are around still

There's a whole bunch of food, like food trucks and stuff. Usually these have nothing to do with pride, theyre just not actually homophobic, and are there to sell food. But there was a local cafe these 6 trans owned and operated that I was super happy to see bc I've been meaning to go.

STD testing somewhere

A stage with a band. I think a drag queen from ru paul came to ours (I go to a big one in a state capital). It's very loud so I don't usually linger here but a lot of people go and enjoy the music and whatever else performance happens.

Ours had rides! A swing ride (so popular I skipped it even though that's one of my favorites) and a carousel. Also face painting. We didn't even have those at the biggest local festival of the year

Free Mom Hugs! I learned recently that this is a group and not just shorrts that are worn, but mother+ aged women wear tshirts saying Free Mom Hugs (or Dad hugs, therre are men too).

As for the people... my pride is crowded. People are usually drressed pretty lightly-- gentials are covered but that's about the only rule. Think rave rules-- boobs usually have their nipple covered. Being covered up is just as common though. No matter what the no-kink-at-pride people claim, this largely isn't sexual. It's queer, it's body positivity and acceptance, it's just being yourself. Also it's usually hot out. People are generally freindly, will compliment especially rarer sexuality representation or cool slogans on shorts. You'll see people in drag, a lot of androgeny, mixing feminine and masculine, ect. And there are plenty of people dressed more normally, too.

People don't necessarily act like everyone there is family or are that much more freindly/familiar with each otther than anywhere else. But mostt people there will respond positively to compliments, most people know far more flags than the average person. People assume pronouns slightly less, definitely still do (my enby gf, wearing all trans colors, no pronoun pin, was misgendered a few times) but it's a much safer environment to correct or ask for one's pronouns or respect ones they see.

Only other pride I've been to is in Provincetown, an extremely gay place. From what I remember, this was much more the common folk, much more an assortment of people marching and cheering and not as directly associated with an organization wanting support. I also went to a leather march there, also basically pride, except mainly... y'know. Leather.

There's a post on heere somewhere of someone watching someone on the bus after pride (idk if ot was a freind or stranger) who lookeed so happy and like themselves, theen having to peel off the stickers, hide the rainbows, ect., as they returned home. This will be an experience that still happens for likely a very long time.

That's about all I can think of. I welcome anyone else to share their experiences! I feel like I talked more about the festival than the parade but I like the festival better.

Unlike what people claim, there is no gatekeeping. The idea of people feeling like they aren't allowed is so weird to me because like. There's so many straight people giving support. There's so many people who you don't know theor sexuality. No one is at pride judging anyone for not belonging. If you look like a bunch of straight people there to party, maybe people will think that and move on. But for the most part no one would notice. You don't know someone's sexuality unless they have a flag, or if someone is there with a same-gender partner or not unless you see them kissing. And no one is performing sex scenes, that picture used in the no-kink-at-pride discourse wasn't at pride, no one does that. Did a freind once tie a bdsm knot on a ripe over my shirt at pride once? Yeah. So what? People there show some pride for their sexaulity, that's different.

Good luck with your story!

Mod Emma

[baconcolacan]

KC interacting w/ everyone else gave me a stroke. Sorry for the swap asks, im just, im just too invested it'll be my demise. Anyways, ready?

1 how would Red and Blue (KC) react to THEMSELVES from regimen?

2 i was curious, does A.K. know about what happened to Tords arm and Toms eyes? Does he know the story behind his parent's quite important injuries? But most importantly, who caused them and how

3 look, i know i know, and i apologize in advance but hear me out, im just, just feeding your imagination- your creativity, yeah! Its, its for your sake..

..so, what if Church's Grimm met Stay and Regimen- I KNOW CG might not even be finished and its the least of your priorities!- but its so different- i cant help but wonder how the others would react to a younger version of them, that isnt in war, ruling, in the military, but are..different in their own way. Also we dont know much about them- And in this one, Tom is quite literally *dead* so im quite curious of how they'd face his spirit, or ghost (who probably has a supernatural power that could be dangerous..or useful..)

I hope you're doing well and taking breaks, you can skip last ask if it spoils too much or for whatever reason! Please remember to appreciate yourself, also know that Castling was fire and insanely fun to read! leader x leader au *chefs kiss* could go on about it for hours, istg you're really out to get us with that talent of urs

PHEW OK CONFERENCE TABLE ASKS LETS GO!

If Red met R.L. I think he'd be very understanding of why he's like that. They virtually have the same goals, although Red isn't as power hungry, he knows that he's more than willing to mutilate the entire world for his own selfish goals, which both he and R.L. will happily admit to. He might be a bit uncomfortable with how off the rails R.L. is mentally, but it's not like he has any room to really judge, he's not as sane and sound as he likes to pretend to be anyway....

If Blue met Tom. Well first of all, Tom wouldn't react too well to the fact that Blue is essentially a mirror of his own Tord, they're both military leaders with a proclivity to violence, and Tom is still at the stage where he's trying to justify everything he's ever done. Blue on the other hand, will happily admit that he's doing what he's doing for his own sake, and since when have we ever cared about other people? They mean nothing to us, might as well have some fun.

Blue thinks this version of himself is pretty funny for being so uptight about his "morals". Then again...he might still have something to lose, so he supposes that's just natural.

2. All AK was ever told when he asked about his parents' injuries was that it was an accident, and that it happened when they were out in an active war theatre. Tord wanted to admit that it was his fault, but Tom stopped him because, to be frank, it wasn't really his fault, he started the war sure, but he wasn't the one that sent the bomb towards them.

3. HSASFJ OK I'll just give a general answer to this for all the aus cause I cant write them all one by one at the moment.

I think, on the side of the Tords, they'd all be surprised that a clearly younger version of themselves (CG Tord is in his early 20s) is such a wallflower, cringing away whenever there are eyes on him or hiding as much as he can in his hoodie. KC and Stay Tord would be pretty sympathetic, Regimen Tord would be appalled at how "weak" he presents himself.

CG Tord just hates looking at them, they're all marked by death, the veil is touching all of their souls, and they're damned. What does that say about his own fate?

The Toms on the other hand, I doubt they'll be able to see their CG version, so I'll just stick with their reaction to CG Tord. KC and Stay Tom will think CG Tord is absolutely precious, more so with Stay Tom because he reminds him of when his husband was a shy little nerd bird teenager, always refusing to go outside to hangout with them unless it involved something he really likes.

Regimen Tom thinks he's creepy, especially because CG Tord would stare at him a lot.

God, what the fuck, now there's a stereotypical creepy ghost-seeing version of Tord who seems to be interested in him?? Fucking kill him now.

HAHAHA AND TY FOR LIKING CASTLING! I'm actually surprised that there isn't a lot of Red x Blue fics out there?? Like damn, I love a dynamic where they're on equal ground, why isn't there a lot more fics like that?? HKDSJFHHG FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

Awkward. They'd be awkward about it.

Let's say, hypothetically, they both get spat out into the Stayverse. Freakouts and initial explanations aside, Tord and Tom take advantage of their temporary presence to leave their son with them while they do RA stuff (after they vet them ofc, they dont just trust their son with anyone, even if it's another version of themselves.)

Red and Blue aren't sure how to react around AK, seeing as he's their son in another life. Red would definitely be the one whispering shit to Blue like; "Does he want..a hug? Kids like hugs right?? How do I- do I just open my arms or...?"

"No you fu-"

"Don't swear in front of the child, Blue."

"Piss off!"

They stop being awkward eventually because AK will force them to watch cartoons and build legos with him.

Regimen: :]

Stay: Well, of course they still have fights sometimes, and they're both bullheaded and too prideful to back down, but this time since they're older, they don't escalate their fights like they used to anymore, and would much rather prefer to separate and cool off.

Although, Tom has more of a penchant to hold on to his anger than Tord, who would often feel much better after letting out his frustrations in explosively violent ways. This would of course, lead to Tord wanting to talk but Tom is still seething, therefore would not want to talk to him yet.

His silent treatment often leads to Tord being a bit gloomy but definitely more snappy, which would lead to days in the RA where he would be a bit more unforgiving with his army and how they run their operations.

It'll be tense for a while, until Matt steps in to gently remind Tom that he needs to actually talk with his husband if he wants to sort things out.

I'm not sure if you wanna know what happens with KC Tord, as Blue's silence often means he's getting paraded around again like a showgirl, so he'd be more irritated and aggressive than usual, which would bring Blue back to the warfront.

Stay: Tom would recognize immediately that Tyler is biologically his son (Due to his hellhound genetics lmao). He'd probably act a little bit stiff towards him, only because he's trying to be polite, as every bit of his instincts are on the fritz, telling him he has to protect his progeny.

Tord would probably clock in on his husband wanting to adopt the kid, and would come to the same conclusion that Tyler might be related to him in some way. I think he'd be more neutral but warm towards Ty, since he doesn't have a personal tie with him.

Regimen: I really don't think you want Tyler to be in this universe lmao. Both Tom and Tord would be pretty cold with him, especially Tord if he figures out Tyler is related to Tom. at worse he might even kill him. And like I said before, this Tom isn't good with kids, so he'd try his best to avoid Tyler at every chance he can get.

Sorry Ty :[

[almost-a-class-act]

Happy Pacific appreciation week!

Prompt: Day 1 (February 6th) - Home Pairing: Leckie/Hoosier Author's note: I live in postwar reunion-ville lately so you might get more than one this week. I'm dashing these out on the daily so I will probably polish (some of) them up and post them on AO3 after the week is over. In the meantime please bear with me if in my haste I skipped words or swapped the very extremely similar first names of these two men which may or may not have happened several times while I was writing it.

--

The fact that Bob has to find out through the grapevine that Bill is, in fact, still kicking, is such Bill-like behaviour that Bob can’t really hold it against him. He gets the news while he’s still in the hospital, stateside, from one of the nurses who had heard it from another marine. He gathers that he has apparently asked around about it enough that hearing that a surly blond asshole named Bill Smith had gotten out of the hospital rings a bell for someone, who makes sure it gets back to him.

Guess you were annoying enough, Runner says cheerfully, when Bob tells him.

I prefer tenacious, Bob replies.

Well, yeah. Runner grins. You would.

It seems pretty clear that his homecoming in Philadelphia is going to be underwhelming and lukewarm, whenever it happens, so he doesn’t bother telling his parents when to expect him and changes trains halfway to the coast.

He’s never been to Indiana before. It’s pretty underwhelming, too.

The town where Bill grew up is a hundred miles outside of Indianapolis; there’s a bus that goes out that way, but only once a day, and when Bob finally gets out there as night is falling, he can see why. It seems to consist primarily of a scattering of squat, economical buildings, as if the people who live there would prefer not to kick up too much of a fuss against the encroaching wilderness. There is a church, a gas station, and a general store, and Bob gets a serious case of side-eye from the gas station attendant when he asks where he can find Bill Smith.

“We were in the marines together,” he says, as if this might be the magic set of words necessary to render him trustworthy.

The clerk’s expression does not shift one iota. “Where you from?”

“Me?” She might be expecting him to say the moon, based on her deep level of suspicion. “Philadelphia.”

“Big city,” she remarks, an odd note of a challenge in it.

“I – ” Bob thinks the better of the borderline snarky remark he was going to make – he’s been on the road for a couple of days, and it makes him, if possible, even less amenable to inanity from strangers – and aims instead for a smile that he’s been told is occasionally charming. “Yes, it is.”

The clerk sizes him up again. “You say you were in the marines?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“One of them boys on Guadalcanal?”

Bob wonders if she knows someone who was there, or if like everyone else, she read about it in the papers. “Yes.”

The clerk susses him out for one moment further, and then she moves for the first time, jerking her thumb toward the window. “Bill’s granddaddy had a farmhouse out on the highway. Back the way you came. Got a pickup that don’t run sitting in the front yard. That’s where he’s staying these days, or so I heard.”

Bob takes that in. It’s a not a house number, but maybe that’s too much to ask, this far out of the city. He gives his thanks, and heads for the door.

“It’s a fair walk,” the clerk calls after him. “He know you’re coming?”

“No,” Bob admits. He considers whether he would have called ahead if he’d known what number to call. He doesn’t think he would have. Some things need to be done face to face. “Are you going to tell him?”

“Can’t,” she replies. “Got no phone out there.”

Huh. It’s a strange encounter, certainly; Bob is starting to wonder if there is something specifically about him that makes people from Indiana immediately chippy with him. “Thanks for your time,” he repeats.

She says nothing else, but Bob can feel her eyes on him through the window until he’s out of sight.

She’s not wrong about the distance; it takes him an hour to make it to the white clapboard farmhouse with the rusted-out pickup truck in the yard. The full moon hangs low in the sky, illuminating the overgrown path to the front door well enough, although it casts strange shadows in the trees that crowd around the house. There is a light on in one of the windows on the first floor.

Bob gains the porch, and he can immediately tell that his presence has already been noted as a shadow moves across the light, behind the curtain. He reaches out and knocks anyway, as the porch light comes on.

The door opens wide enough that a pair of mistrustful blue eyes can fix upon him through the gap.

Bob releases a breath that he hadn’t known he’d been holding. He’s known Bill is alive for some time now, but hearing it and seeing it are two different things. Perhaps a small, quiet part of him had wondered if it could really be, that Bill was here in Indiana when he had bled so very much on Peleliu. “Hi, Bill.”

Bill does not move to pull the door open any wider. “Lucky.”

Undaunted, Bob offers up a half-smile. “You’re alive.”

Bill can’t have known that Bob knew he was alive. He does not seem to feel guilty about it. “For my sins,” he agrees.

“You could’ve written,” Bob says.

“You’re the writer.” He eyes Bob for a moment. “Well, you might as well come in.”

When he opens the door wider and steps back, there is a hint of a limp in his walk. Otherwise, everything about him is the same, and Bob experiences a moment of missing him something powerful, in a way he hasn’t since he found out that Bill was going to be okay and he had resolved that it was only a matter of time before he would see him again.

“You okay to take the stairs?” Bill asks.

“Stairs?” Bob echoes.

“I know you were wounded,” Bill says. Those eyes are fixed on him again, intense and inscrutable. “On Peleliu.”

How does he know that? Had he known Bob was back in California, too, and hadn’t so much as said a how do you do before hightailing it back to Indiana? “Good as new now,” he promises, instead of asking.

Bill nods, and turns away, heading for the room with the light on. “Then leave your bag at the bottom of the stairs,” he says. “You can take it up later.”

Bob does as he’s told, and follows him into a dated but clean living room. The squat radio on top of the cabinet by the window is the only item that looks like it might be from this century. Bill waves his hand at the couch. “Sit,” he says. “You want coffee?”

“You got anything stronger?” Bob asks, obligingly taking up a position on the edge of the couch. The cushion has lost some of its structural integrity; he has the feeling that if he sits back any further, he will sink into the dip worn in by at least a couple generations of Smiths.

Bill doesn’t say anything, but he crosses to the cabinet and retrieves a bottle of some kind of dark liquor and two glasses. He meticulously pours them each a healthy double, and then collects his off the coffee table and takes it to sit in the wingback chair by the empty fireplace, as if that is where he is accustomed to presiding.  

They each take a drink.

Bill is the first to light a cigarette, the flame backlighting his face in orange and blue in the dim light cast by two table lamps. Bob mirrors him almost immediately, an echo of something they’ve done a million times since they met. He’s been trying to cut back on smoking, since he got back from the islands and thinking about the future is a thing he’s trying to teach himself to do again, but some days he fares better than others.

“How did you know I was wounded?” he asks.

Bill, leaned back in his chair with one leg stretched out, eyes him through the slowly twisting smoke from his cigarette. “You think you’re the only guy who knows how to ask around?”

“You could have come to see me,” Bob points out, less exasperated than bemused. “I was in California.”

Bill gives a half shake of his head, and for the first time, his gaze dips. He has something to say, of that Bob is certain; Bill is seldom at a loss for words.

“Did you mean what you said?” he asks the edge of the threadbare rug.

Bob suspects he knows what he’s talking about, but this is one of those times when it would very much do to confirm. “When?”

Bill is immediately back to watching him again, with narrowed eyes. Uncertainty never suits him for long. “You know when.”

That afternoon on Peleliu, hot enough that the sweat ran in your eyes but Bill’s blood on his hands was hotter still, coming up and coming up in a terrifying gush like a spring from the ground while the corpsman hadn’t come and Bob had thought, panicking, I’m going to watch him die. It had made him loose-tongued, candor brought on by the realization that had made everything inside of him collapse in a sickening lurch – that the two of them had always danced around each other, making snide remarks and sarcastic jokes, anything but honesty because honesty was only for the dead and dying out here.

He had been out of time for anything else. He had tried anyway. “I meant it,” he says firmly, resolute.

Bill’s expression is careful. “I thought maybe you didn’t.”

Bob hesitates. He can predict, probably, why Bill might second-guess it, but he can’t navigate his way here without knowing for sure. He’s well-aware honesty was never their strong suit, but he also wants to believe that Bill knows he wouldn’t lie to him – not about this. “Why would you think that?”

Bill eyes the cherry on his cigarette, his hand resting on the arm of the chair. “I thought maybe you said it because you thought I was dying.”

“I knew you weren’t dying.” When Bill gives him a look, Bob adds, “I just knew you were probably going to fuck off back to the middle of nowhere without leaving a forwarding address, and I was right.”

Bill tilts his head, the same faintly challenging jut of his chin that Bob has seen a thousand times, and oh, it really fucking pulls at the part of him that’s always been reckless with his heart. “You figured out where to find me.”

“Do you know I had to ask the scary gas station woman for directions?” Bob’s smile winds up half of his face. “I thought she was going to sell me to the hill people.”

Bill snorts. “You ain’t worth the clothes on your back to the hill people. Too skinny.”

Bob hides the smile that wants to widen further in the rim of his glass. When he tops his own drink off, Bill mutely offers up his own glass for the same. Now they are back where they were, and Bill hasn’t really given him an answer.

“Well,” he says, after the silence settles in not-uncomfortably around them. “I meant what I said.”

Bill nods. “I heard you.”

“And,” Bob gives his glass a swirl that almost upsets its contents, “I came all the way out here.”

“I can see that.”

Bob is better at being patient than people give him credit for. He is very good at being the pursuer, when the situation calls for it. “Then I think the ball is in your court, Bill.”

Bill gives a huff that isn’t quite a laugh, with no humour in it. It is the only warning for what comes next. “You know I spent weeks in the hospital sure you were dead?”

Bob blinks. He hadn’t known. He had never thought about it. “Me?”

“Yeah, you.” Bill leans forward, his cigarette burnt all the way down, though he does not appear to notice. There is a shadow in his eyes that reminds Bob of all the small, individual rock bottoms they hit, on Guadalcanal and Gloucester, when Bill had forgotten or been too tired to look irritable and had looked hunted instead. “I thought there was no way anybody was getting off that island. You should’ve seen the wounded they kept bringing in. Too many to count. Tons of guys from our division. No one knew shit about you, or the other guys.” Bill’s mouth twists. “I was pretty damn pissed off that you said that shit to me right as I was leaving.”

“You were mad?” Bob asks. After all that?

“Hell yeah, I was mad.” Bill’s eyebrows draw together, and he points at Bob with the hand that has his glass in it. “If you had kept your damn mouth shut, I would have gone home not knowing if it was what it was. Enough time goes by, that’s the kind of thing a person can live with. You can put it behind you. But you didn’t keep your damn mouth shut, and that made me the idiot not knowing what the fuck I had until I lost it.”

Ah. As usual, Bob is discovering that he is only about half as smart as he thinks he is. Maybe this time it will be humbling enough to sink in. He says the only thing he can say: “Bill, I’m sorry.”

“You should be, asshole.” That’s about as close to accepting an apology as Bill is likely to come. “And you should also be sorry that you came here, because I’m not nearly as pissed off about that as I should be, either.”

Bob smiles slowly. “You’re not, huh.”

“Do not pull that charming shit with me,” Bill warns. “You’re on thin fucking ice.”

He downs the rest of his drink, tossing the remains of his cigarette into the fireplace as he gets up. Bob watches him circle the table with open amusement; when he tries to lean forward, Bill winds a hand in the fabric of his shirt and pushes him right back against the couch, leaning down to get right in his face.

“You said the ball was in my court,” he hisses.

Bob can’t help his grin. “Did I hear you say you think I'm charming?”

Bill rolls his eyes. “Of course that’s what you heard.”

His hand flattens under Bob’s collarbone, bracing rather than gripping, and he fits his mouth against Bob’s, kissing him hard, a flash of teeth against his lower lip. Bob tries to pull him into his lap, but Bill pulls back. “The first time we do this not in the jungle is not going to be on my grandmama’s fifty-year-old couch.”

Bob, delighted by everything about this, lets Bill pull him to his feet and lead the way to the bottom of the stairs. He collects up his bag, which he had left there earlier, and follows him up to a loft bedroom.

“Is this the only bedroom?” he asks, as something occurs to him.

“There’s a guest room by the kitchen,” Bill says, taking the bag from him and stowing it in a gap between the dresser and the wall.

Bob knows he looks soft, and can’t help it. “So you just figured I was going to play my cards right?”

Bill shakes his head as he straightens. “Wasn’t about cards. If a guy tells you loves you while you’re dying in a hole in the ground on some godforsaken island in the Pacific and then he goes right back home after the war, then you know he only said it because you were dying.” He fixes Bob with that gaze again, serious. It might make him feel vulnerable to admit it, but the only tell is in the tightening of his jaw before he does it anyway. “I’ve been waiting for you since Peleliu, Lucky. I figured if you came here, you meant it.”

Bob comes to him this time, and Bill waits for him, very still. Bob reaches up and smooths his thumb over that jaw, and almost like Bill hadn’t realized he was doing it, something in his face relaxes infinitesimally.

“Then I’m glad I came." I was always going to come.

Bill studies him, as if making sure that there is no trace of a joke in it. “Yeah? That mean you’re gonna stay for a while?”

Bob thinks about the distant way his parents have always loved him, their last and least planned for son, and the siblings that have gone away and started lives without him, and all the people in the city where he grew up that have loved him sidelong or at arm’s length but never head-on. And he thinks about what going home is meant to mean.

“Yeah,” he says, and when Bill’s answering smile, small and reluctant and relieved, is immediate, Bob wants to give him everything, softness be damned. “I think I might.”

[rihon-scribe-some-writer-guy]

Hi! Where'd you get your doctorate in rhetoric and theology?

I learned everything that I know about theology and rhetoric from today’s sponsor: Skillshare! Click the link below to receive a 4% discount on your first 5 classes- nah, I’m just pulling your leg there anonymous asker. However this meme of an answer leads into today’s lecture. For anyone wanting to know about how I acquired my doctorates and can’t bother with learning, feel free to scroll down this post and start at the section labeled ‘Story Time’.

General Studies 324:

On Degrees and Knowledge

For everyone else, thank you for your patience in waiting for this lecture. Things have been picking up a bit in my day job, and I recently got motivation to output some writing sessions. They were really rough works, but every work starts out that way. Nevertheless, you all now have my undivided, over obsessive attention. So grab your choice of note taking materials.

Now doctorates take a few years with a university or similar form of higher education. On average, most people take four additional years of schooling after the standard four years of typical college. Now some individuals can cut the time frame by a year, however it’s still a hefty time to spend in school. It also takes a significant amount of money to pay the tuition fees for all that time, as well as other expenses such as books and student activity fees.

Unless one plans to become either a theology professor or work alongside historians and archaeologists on sites, a theology major isn’t worth pursuing from a practical standpoint. I dare say that even if someone was fortunate enough to be the be of the few to land such a job in field that don’t have a high demand of applicants needed, one could still make an argument to not pursue such. Additionally, I feel that it’s safe to assume that a general theology degree from nonreligious-based colleges requires students to explore religious beliefs that differ from their own. Plenty of community churches will offer decently paid positions despite educational background. In regards to a rhetoric degree, I also believe that such a degree limited to positions where the salary might not reflect the time commitment.

To answer your the original question truthfully, I didn’t get a doctorate in either of those subjects. I come from a humble family who didn’t have the income to pay for college in full. In order for my siblings and I to attend college, we had to take advantage of scholarships, and I was the only child who was able to hold onto scholarships long enough to make it through the full term of a diploma. Looking back on the time, I should consider myself fortunate to have received my four-year bachelor’s degree without having to go into student debt. However, I was only able to take a major and a minor. Looking forward to the future and considering that neither avenue of study really resonates with my personality, I disregarded pursuing either theology or rhetoric degrees.

(Gasp) But Mr. Scribe, you gave the answer to the asked question and we’re nowhere near the bottom of the post.

Yes, student-who-states-the-obvious, that’s correct. Anyone who decided to just skip to the bottom is reading my super rough self-insert fic. This is another lesson: there’s a substantial difference in knowledge that is bestowed and knowledge that is earned. To take the recollection of solely one source runs the inherent risk of receiving misinformation. It’s the same reason why you shouldn’t take the blogging of a tumblr user who identifies as a nun in her profile as truth, especially if her blogs lack scripture reference. The primary goal of education isn’t to force as much knowledge into a brain as possible. The primary goal of education is to develop open-mindedness, self-research, problem-solving, and healthy cognitive development. To phrase it simpler; it not learning the facts, it’s about understanding how to gain information and think on your own. People don’t need diploma to know things; diplomas just act as a social construct of recognition certificates.

Now, if you’re really dedicated to pursuing a career in theology, I believe that it would be in your best interest to ask a respected leader of a nearby religious community in a public setting or the equivalent of an expert in the rhetorical sphere; a speech writer for political candidates would be my first suggestion. However, why go into student debt to here how some guy lecture about religion when you could walk into a public church/temple and listen to a sermon for free? Why, if an individual would travel to a well-off Protestant church and inquire about where they could buy a Bible, the church would just give them one. The book app on my phone offers free downloads of the Bible. I can google Bible verses off of context alone and get Bible gateway to provide the exact verse that I need.

Mr. Scribe, you don’t have the ability to apply the scriptures in your teaching! 😡

Why not? The Bible is the most distributed piece of literature out there. When the printing press made its way west to the states, the sole purpose of sending them out by the dozens was to print a mass-ton of bibles. (Berthold, Arthur Benedict (1970), American colonial printing as determined by contemporary cultural forces, 1639-1763,) We have had centuries to perfect the translation of of the Bible to the point where kid shows can feature Bibleman and Larryboy. Mistranslation shouldn’t be an issue. So why is it that some people suggest that a rhetoric doctorate is needed?

Let me answer that rhetorical question: it’s because some people do not want their ideas and beliefs contradict. Therefore, they say that in order for anyone to speak on their beliefs, they either have to go through financial strain to earn a piece of paper, or conform to their beliefs and abandon free thinking. If someone were to ask me what the major difference is between a religious organization and a cult, my response would be that cults don’t have a NAICS code to identify them… so a fair amount of them end up using the NAICS code of religious organizations. If someone is suggesting that you’re reading scripture in the wrong mindset, then I believe that it’s safe to reason that they are attempting to narrow the view to solely fit the prerogative of their group.

Story Time:

To answer the original question of where I received the two doctorates, I would require clarification. If one is asking what was the physical location that I was present in when I received those papers, then my answer would be that I received my rhetoric doctorate in the McKenzie Theater of Eastern Oregon University in December of 2008, then I received my theology doctorate in the mess hall of an undisclosed military institution in late February of 2011. If the question pertained to from which institution did my doctorates originated from, then my rhetoric doctorate originated from the University of London, and my theology doctorate originated from Princeton University.

Now, an observant reader can clearly see that the places of origin deviate greatly from where I receive them. Your suspicion are valid because I received each doctorate through non conventional means and events.

Rhetoric

I was beginning my college career at Eastern Oregon University when my mandated English class had required me to write a ten page nonfictional narrative. I chose to write “Guinea Pig Passing,” a recollection of how each family member dealt with the final days of our pet Guinea Pig named Bullwinkle. At the time, I felt like it wasn’t the most creative concept, but my mind was more focused on the university’s theatrical production of a staged “Pride and Prejudice”.

The due date approached come late October and I’m struggling to stay focused after proofreading the night before, dealing with La Grande and finding a parking place. I’m making my way to Loso Hall with eyes drooping when I stumble into an old white man decked in Doctor Who-like attire . We both drop our papers and he begins to complain in an English accent so thick, he could have stopped bullets with a cry for “Tea Time”. We take our papers and quickly stride away from each other.

If you guessed that we ended up swapping papers, then congratulations, you get a cookie 🍪.

I realized the switch-a-roo before turning in sketches of Victorian clothing, rushed to a computer lab to print out whatever version I had on my thumb drive, and came in late to class to turn in the assignment.

I fretted about the assignment being turned in under a draft different than the final all the way to rehearsal when, lo-and-behold, doctor who-needs-to-crack-a-smile is talking with the director until he catches a glimpse of me. I’m expecting the worst yet am taken aback when he approaches me with tears in eyes. He holds my assignment as if he was Oliver begging for more and asks me if I wrote it. I get two confused nods in before he brings me into a hug and I get a unhealthy whiff of expensive cigars.

So… it turn out that I bumped into Professor James Martin of the University of London who ventured overseas to aid or production while taking in the sights of Portland. He’s a nice guy once you get the chance to not bumble into him. He liked my nonfictional essay (said something about how it reminded him of Bill Faulkreath’s ‘As I Lay Crying’ or something) and we talked a bit about Darcy. I thought he would slap me for saying how Darcy seemed less of a character and more of a plot device and end goal for the leading lady, Elizabeth. However, he appreciated the fresh take. I showed him around Portland; good times.

So I ended up getting a A on the assignment because that professor was a real one, passed Tabatha’s class with a B, then get called in by the Dean who sat me down to tell me that ‘Guinea Pig Passing’ was submitted to the University of London’s Distinguished works of Rhetoric to obtain the highest honor. Then they held a ceremony in McKenzie Theater where I was bestowed an honorary doctorate in rhetorics.

Theology:

For the story of how I got my theology doctorate, your going to want to lie down.

It’s October 2010 and I’m feeling melancholic. Two years passed and I’m feeling the pointless of striving for purpose. Emptied of care, I went to the my fall freshman language professor, Miss Swanson, because she was one of the few people who didn’t hold me up in high regards. Miss Swanson told me that maybe I would find interest in a humanities project, but said humanities really weirdly. There was a two-second pause before she dragged out ‘huuuuumaaanities’ like Disney drags out a purchased franchise across their money grater. Luckily, I didn’t pick up on his hesitation and agreed on the grounds that I had nothing to lose.

October 28th rolls around and I’m sitting in a room with professors galore thinking that this isn’t how most students spend a Friday evening.

Rihon: Are you sure it’s okay that I’m sitting in this meeting? I’m the only student here.

Miss Swanson: You have a Rhetorics Doctorate.

Rihon: Cool. Where’s the Sociology doctor who wrote his dissertation on a cop running over his black Labrador?

Fellow bloggers, I don’t know how to put it other than bluntly. The entire staff of Eastern Oregon University gathered together to try and prevent the end of America.

Miss Swanson explained to me how Native Americans cursed the early European colonizers to rid them off of the land. However they believed it to be a myth because they couldn’t line up the dates with the stars in the sky on a palindrome day.

Rihon: What, like, ‘be wary, be wary, of the eleventh of February?’

Miss Swanson: No. It would be Remember, remember, the second of November.’

Rihon: Sorry. Must have been Martin talking.

Miss Swanson: What do you mean?

Rihon: Well, he tended to list dates by the day, then month, then year. The way he explained it actually made so much more sense.

I hope none of you ever have to see a professor look like they just shit their drawers.

First, Miss Swanson made that face, then she wanders over to the Dean who makes the face, then they announce that they may have been looking at the date wrong, letting the entire staff make that face.

Rihon: Sooo… score one for the millennials?

Miss Swanson: We could all die.

Rihon: You’re just jealous.

With the time to prepare cut in half, plans were made for a group of professors to head to the first settlement of what would come to be the United States. When talk came about that they wished they could send more aid, I did the only logical thing I could of. I went to DisneyWorld.

Disney has this college program where college students work the park. I score a role as Goofy/Prince Eric, made a few friends, and waited until February to surprise my professors.

Rihon: Heyyyy. Guess who’s gonna help you save the worldddd?

Miss Swanson: You’re coming to Jamestown???

Rihon: Jamestown?

Swanson: Don’t play dumb. Jamestown Virginia settled by the English permanently in 1607.

Rihon: you’re joking, right?

Miss Swanson: maybe you should stay in your history class.

Rihon: the one that says St. Augustine was settled by the Spaniards in 1565?

(Longest pause ever)

Rihon: Score two for millennials?

Miss Swanson: Not the time.

So the U.S. has a week expiration date and the team of faculty members are states way, leaving the world ending crisis to 20-year-old me; and the merry band of Disney Team Members who joined me in my excavation to St. Augustine. I’m glad they tag along as it helped me delegate the mental workload and allow us to figure out that the cursed site laid in Castillo de San Marcos. Making the most of what could have been our last days, we waited until that fateful Friday to stop the curse.

Now if anyone was expecting the final boss battle to be against Sitting Bull and their spirit totem pole amalgamation monster, then you’ll be as surprised as we were when I tell you that they were mere pawns and means to ends. The true mastermind was a Hollywood-gorgeous-white-man who would have looked all the prettier if he didn’t scowl at the time. Then again, he made it pretty clear that he loathed the fact that we dared attempted to stop him. Fast forward a monologue of contempt, I try to get him to spill the beans on why he’s doing what he’s doing and how to stop it.

Then Pretty-Psycho took out a scroll and sent dark magic towards Auburn, the girl who played Ariel beside me. I shielded her from this reality defying magic, and then I died.

Are you being serious, Rihon?

Yes and no. Time rifts are a tricky thing, which is why I advise against using dark magic if it’s not completely understood. A human body isn’t able to travel through raw tear in the timeline, but a soul departs from the body and the timeline entirely. So, I died in the sense that my soul departed from my body, but… well, there’s a reason why the world didn’t end back in 2011.

I was a bodiless entity existing out of the newly torn timeline. Time itself was laid out for me to where I could observe present past and two possible futures, one of doom and the one we know as our present (so… a more subtle doom.) It became evident that in order to achieve the lesser of two evils, I had to return to by body within a small window of when my soul departed it before my brain processes the loss of blood flow. Yet since I existed outside of time, I had about 30% of forever to figure out how to go back to that moment. So I decided to drift back in time and search for a way back home.

To sum up a timeless story, I learned secret truths of life, existence, and the construct of reality while floating around as a soul. One of those secrets truths: the origin of our known universe. Along with that, I learned how to return to my body at the time tear and defeat the Adondeath, the true name of Pretty-Pyscho.

After the Disney gang and I prevented the end of the world, we were arrested by the military along with the Native American minion and Adondeath. Even with the staff members of Eastern Oregon University coming to speak in my defense, it takes the better part of two weeks for the military to truly understand what had happened. Around day three, I had the pleasure to meet… well, more like be interrogated and psychoanalyzed by… many professors who were experts in their field yet had the availability to aid the military. One of them was Eddie Glaude Jr.: the William S. Tod Professor of Religion and African American Studies and chair of the Department of African American Studies at Princeton University. Mr. Glaude asked me about boring specifics about the spiritual aspects of the dark ritual to which I had to explain them in relationship of the understanding of religious beliefs to a T. Having aced an oral exam of incalculable magnitude. Mr. Glaude spent a week to let his brain recover before he and every other external professor told the military that I was honest and sane… given the circumstances.

The Disney crew gets medals of heroism, yet we are sworn to secrecy to not let the general public know, and return to finish our internships at DisneyWorld before having come to the realization that our lives cap at meaningful experiences before we reached the legal drinking age. Oh and Mr. Glaude gifted me a doctorate of theology.

Lecture Wrap Up:

Alright class. That’s enough of my rants and recollections for a while.

For extra credit: find a grammatical error in today’s lecture, submit a new lecture topic in my inquiry box, or list out something that you learned today. No due date for these bonus points.

[transition-with-the-torah]

Title: Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life -- in Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There)

Author: Sarah Hurwitz

Format / Cost: Ebook (free via Libby). As far as I'm aware, the 2019 version is the only edition available.

I've seen this book go around in some 'for conversion' tags/reblogs for a few years now; as far as I've heard, it's written by a lapsed born-Jew who rediscovered Judaism as an adult, so it's less about the nuts and bolts of conversion and more about life questions (and how Judaism tries to answer them). There are two parts. Part One covers chapters one through four, and Part Two covers five through nine. There's also an introduction and conclusion looking at "Why Bother With Judaism?" (Some quotes and notes about each chapter are below the read-more.)

Overall, I appreciated being able to peek into someone else's perspective. There's just enough basic explanation that Sarah Hurwitz didn't seem to have impenetrable jargon, yet I can't fault her for noting when she wasn't presenting absolutely everything (such as not covering every holiday in Ch 8). Personally, I like that type of warning because a certain part of my brain stops wondering why the author skipped a holiday or, more generally, trying to fill in gaps. It's possible that some people will connect with her opinions and experiences more than others – all of the bones to pick about God and liturgical language, the angels of Shabbat are creepy, her first reaction to seeing someone put on tefillin at the meditation retreat was to think it was silly that people were taking a metaphor literally, finding so many things boring. I'm aware that she had to start somewhere with the whole premise of re-examining Judaism and starting out bored isn't too unexpected, but there were a few places where it also felt like I – by not being bored, for example – was being a bit cringe. It's not like she bashed a hypothetical group of readers or anything, but I think at least part of the reason why I appreciated her perspective is that there were some 'if you're nodding along, check out X' moments (and the corollary, 'if I'm not nodding along, I may want to check out Z' self-realisation).

(This has been tagged as #reviews for personal organization on my blog and may not be considered a complete or satisfying review by others.)

Intro

The term "Jews by choice" is often used to refer to those who convert to Judaism. But these days, all American Jews are Jews by choice -- and many of us are choosing to opt out.

On the one hand, I can understand how this is working to segue from the author's personal experience with drifting away from Reform Judaism after her bat mitzvah to the statistics on Jews affiliating with a different movement as adults (mostly becoming less observant), but on the other hand, I definitely feel like I'm side-eyeing this. I'm going to have to pay $180 to the community mikvah as part of conversion, to say nothing of other costs, classes, and efforts to actually join the Jewish People. It just feels a little too much like writing all that off if 'all American Jews are Jews by choice' here, but I will admit that this might just be a personal thing.

Yet, even some of the most disaffected Jews will admit that something inside them feels unsettled. Even if they won't go anywhere near a synagogue, it still doesn't feel quite right to attend their partners' churches on Easter or have Christmas trees in their living rooms. And even if Judaism as they know it leaves them cold, there is something about it -- albeit faint and inexplicable -- that still tugs at them. There is a Yiddish phrase for this: "dos pintele yid," which literally means "that little point of a Jew" and refers to that spark of Jewishness in each of us that we can't quite manage to ignore, no matter how hard we try.

^ I just find the above to be a lovely image considering how often I've run into mentions of sparks (possibly due to Kabbalistic allusions in some Jewish resources or explanations).

I certainly don't want to downplay how important growing up within your community's religion can be, but I can understand where the author's coming from on how some of the deeper questions or more fulfilling answers might be easier to find and understand as an adult.

Ch 1 covers the Torah.

This text, I realized, is not meant to be read for the plot, it's meant to be interpreted for meaning.

While I have no doubt that this seems like a simple realisation for some, I do appreciate addressing the 'you need to read this as a literal, factual account' haunting of certain Xtian approaches to the text.

This belief that every single one of us is created in the image of God has been cited as the defining Jewish idea […] Drawing on an ancient Jewish teaching, Rabbi Yitz Greenberg argues that this idea is shorthand for three fundamental truths, which he deems the "three inalienable dignities": 1. We are each of infinite worth—no one is expendable, and we cannot quantify the value of any human life. 2. We are all fundamentally equal—no human being is any more important than any other human being. 3. We are each totally unique—there is no one else like us, and no one is interchangeable with anybody else.

I can understand how this is important from a historical perspective, but I also must admit that this quote jumps out because of how I've seen people react to an Air Force member killing himself publicly via setting himself on fire [current events, as of 6 March 2024]. He claimed that it was for Palestine, but really, I've mostly run into people being surprisingly pro-suicide and praising him. So indulge me in repeating for emphasis: no one is expendable, no human being is any more important than any other human being [no one is lesser than], and no one is interchangeable with anybody else.

God does not want people to be God's servants. Instead, God asks them to be God's partners. That's what God was doing at Mount Sinai: God was presenting the Israelites with a covenant—a mutual agreement between two parties under which each agrees to perform certain actions in exchange for something of value from the other.

There is another section addressing 'Jews being The Chosen', but I feel like this quote also counters the image of a People/Nation being randomly plucked from all the kingdoms of the time in some sort of Divine Lottery. I don't find myself struggling nearly as much with this covenant and 'Chosen' angle because, as far as I'm aware, that's actually not entirely unique to the Israelites. (My impression of ancient polytheistic societies is that they often had something similar with deities choosing them over their neighbours and having 'I do X, Deity does Y' agreements, and there have been times when I've wondered if people wouldn't be half as weird about Jews still using chosen language in their religious texts if we hadn't had over a millennium of reduced polytheistic interactions.)

A better name for us would be "the choosing people"—the people who chose to accept a particular covenant with the Divine, and who must continue choosing, in each new generation, to honor it.

Ch 2 covers interpretation.

We did not stick the Torah behind glass in a museum simply to be admired from afar. Instead, from the moment the Torah was canonized, we were already arguing about what it meant. And since then, we have interpreted and reinterpreted it, continually breathing new life into it—and allowing it to breathe new life into us—in each new era.

Due to covering some basic history in the first chapter, this chapter continues on, so there isn't too large of a jump from before the First Temple to the current day. In the course of that, there's a brief explanation of how different movements came to be and how there isn't one traditional form of Judaism per se.

This is something I love about Judaism: When Temples fall, we don't just stand around trying to make sacrifices at the ruins. We retranslate our tradition to create something more enduring.

Ch 3 covers God (aptly summed up in the title – Free God from "His" Human-Shaped Cage in the Sky).

Personally, I just didn't really click with the author's personal experience in this regard – "To be honest, I felt like I was too smart to believe in God—like God is fine for other people, who need that sort of thing to comfort themselves in times of distress, or to incentivize them to behave morally. But not me. I was above that." (Yes, the point is that this is where she started, and there's this whole thing with connecting to Something during meditation, but to me, it felt too close to edgy atheists claiming that anyone who believes in some sort of theistic thing is stupid.)

She offers options for approaching God as:

1) God as all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-good (more or less) [there's certainly not one unified approach in this broad category, but this is where the author touches on God being seen as "loving and compassionate" in contrast to Xtian influenced ideas of God only being that way in the New Testament];

2) God as radically transcendent [so far removed from us and our physical existence that we can't really know God, though we can emulate attributes];

3) God as everything ["you, me, skyscrapers, grass—it's all God"];

4) God as an actualizing force ["a psychologist might call this 'self-actualization,' what happens when we cultivate our talents, strengths, and passions to become the truest, best version of ourselves"];

5) God as found in relationship ["We connect with God by connecting deeply to others—and not just humans, but animals and things in nature as well"];

6) God in search of man [quoting Heschel there; this God knows us as individuals and "reaches back, yearning for our partnership in the work of improving the world"];

7) God as all-good but not all-powerful [see also: "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold Kushner];

8) God as found in the predicates of God [predicates are attributes like justice and mercy, so we can "express Godliness" by expressing these attributes to each other]; and

9) God as in process [God adapts to our decisions when offered a choice "so God changes and evolves as we do"].

Ch 4 covers action (since doing is much more relevant than belief in a specific idea of God).

Today, outside of traditionally observant circles, you'll be hard-pressed to find many Jews who believe literally in the concept of the Messiah. [...] Instead, many Jews now understand messianism metaphorically to mean that if we succeed in righting the world's wrongs—ending things like poverty, violence, and discrimination—then we can usher in a messianic era, a new, better time for humanity. All three of these concepts—covenantal partnership with God, tikkun olam, and messianism—emphasize that Jewish worship isn't just about contemplation or petition, it's about action.

There's an explanation of mitzvot, though I'm skipping over the "this may all seem primitive and weird" bit where, to me, it seems like the author is apologizing for the reader's assumed negative reaction to the reveal that Judaism involves following some amount of the mitzvot. (At least, the ethical ones of whatever isn't Temple or Israel based, since this is from an American Reform perspective.)

When I do a mitzvah like digging into my wallet to help someone in need or refraining from passing on a juicy piece of gossip about a colleague, Judaism sees that as a spiritual moment, one in which I'm bringing myself closer to the Divine and bringing the Divine down to earth.

Ch 5 covers some moral examples of mitzvot.

This isn't the big, obvious stuff like not killing someone else, but it's the relatively smaller stuff that adds up to: "Having now learned a little bit about Jewish ethics, I stand by my original belief that I don't need Judaism to teach me how to be a good person, or at least a good enough person. But I've come to realize that I do need it if I ever want to become a great person."

First, there's being mindful of speech and not shaming others, including not spreading gossip [lashon hara]. Then there's deceiving people via pretending to be generous with an example of sending a party invite to an annoying coworker only because you know they'll be unable to attend [g'neivat da'at]. There's an overview of a process to build desired character traits [middot] called Mussar, and two broad ethical categories for mitzvot – self-restraint or self-transcendence (thinking of others).

Self-restraint isn't about asceticism, like a monk or nun giving up all worldly desires, but it is about properly channeling "base, animalistic impulses" into something constructive that may involve some limits on the base desire. Self-transcendence is the "ethic of non-indifference" which Rabbi Donniel Hartman defines as the obligation "to see the seeds of others and to implicate oneself as part of the solution." The specific examples of this are tzedakah and ḥesed. Some mitzvot will overlap in self-restraint and self-transcendence with a specific example of animal welfare – there are rules about minimizing pain, but we can still use oxen to plow a field or kill animals to eat [with an asterisk for kashrut—not every creature is considered kosher, there are butchering rules, etc.].

Ch 6 covers spiritual practice.

This covers several areas of connection since the author starts out at a place of: "So I would show up for services twice a year, at Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, and while these holidays are supposed to be [...] powerful moments of self-reflection during which we come face-to-face with our own mortality and perform an unflinching examination of our souls—I was mainly bored."

On the one hand, I don't want to seem like pulling out this quote is judgmental when explaining the siddur and trying to connect to Hebrew are topics that conversion classes also cover, but on the other hand, I have this self-conscious disconnect from being bored in twice-a-year services. (I'm much more likely to be bored by meditation and unscripted personal prayer while scripted communal prayer at least provides guardrails for what to say and when.)

Areas of connection: Unscripted personal prayer, which can included hitbodedut (go where you won't be heard, though somewhere outside would be ideal, and speak out loud to God) [covered in more detail in the author's meditation retreat in Ch 1]. Scripted communal prayer, which the author doesn't often vibe with [see advice quote below]. Blessings, which are not limited to those included in the siddur such as witnessing the beauty of the natural world. Meditation, which the author vibes with more [this specifically talks about mindfulness meditation and Jewish meditation retreats]. Study, which can include a ḥavruta partnership [at least two students analyze and discuss text together].

First, you cannot read the siddur literally like a textbook designed to relay facts to you. [...] The siddur is also not meant to be read literally, but more like a poem. Some of the conceptions of God in the siddur—as a father, king, ruler of the universe—simply don't resonate for many of us anymore. So my second piece of advice is to avoid getting hung up on the concepts of God the liturgy suggests, and instead focus on the experience of God it evokes and the human experience it reflects. [...] it's not always feasible to real-time interpret and absorb the stream of verbiage to which one is subjected at many Jewish prayer services. [...] if you're particularly struck by a word, phrase, or line from a prayer, then just stay with it for a while. Turn it over in your mind, see how it feels when you hold it in your heart. [...] Prayer works best when it really goes through you. But for that to happen, you have to open yourself up to it. And that is my final piece of advice: to bring some vulnerability to your communal prayer experience.

I also want to pull out a quote from Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk because of the imagery involved:

He asks why the Shema prayer states that God's commandments to us should be "on your heart" rather than "in your heart." His answer: Often, our hearts simply aren't open, but if we place these words on our hearts, then the moment our hearts do open, the words can fall in.

Ch 7 covers Shabbat.

Some measure of observing Shabbat can: "help us stop being such control freaks and just let go for a change" since sunset determines start/end of Shabbat; "help us fight consumerism, materialism, and workaholism" by not being available to social media messaging or employer/employee demands 24/7; "be a mini-holiday that injects joy into our lives each week" even if the joy is more like comfort from being around friends and family in a non-joyous time; "can help us connect to ourselves" by silencing outside noise and distractions (in a way that sounds similar to earlier mentions of meditation); "help us connect with others"; and "offers a vision of the world as it should be, inspiring us to improve the world as it is" since everyone – as equals – rests on Shabbat, metaphorically doesn't light fires by not feeding anger and discord between each other, and tries to be in harmony with nature.

Personally the 'harmony with nature' bit seemed like a comment that I wanted to see some expansion on because it just sounds like general rest from work/electronic devices is the "cease from exploiting the earth's resources for our gain" which isn't necessarily true. How many Jews use lights, drive, and otherwise use electronics on Shabbat, you know? I'm not saying we needed a ton of pages on how environmentalism intersects with Judaism, but immediately going to resting as if all our work is finished doesn't seem to complete this thought.

Ch 8 covers holidays with a note that basic, how-to books will cover the actual details and all of the holidays. This more covers two chunks of holidays for thematic relevance.

Passover and Shavuot work together to tell Jews who they are: "Passover is about reinforcing part one of the logic (knowing how it feels to be a stranger) by ensuring we retain that visceral, bodily sense of being vulnerable. Shavuot is about part two (feeling obligated to care for strangers today), reminding us that our experience of oppression in Egypt is the lens through which we must see the world, and that the laws dictated at Mount Sinai are our instructions for how to act on what we see."

The other chunk of holidays is the season around the Days of Awe, which actually starts back on Tish B'Av and covers the reflection in the month of Elul as well as Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot. Unsurprisingly, the author's not into some of the liturgical choices around Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur – God is anthropomorphized as a King and "He" will reward or punish us. However, she does go through some interpretive examples from Ch 6 and offer up ways to not disconnect from ancient liturgical language even if you're more towards that agnostic-slash-atheist camp of God. For example, the list of ways to die if we're inscribed in the book of death aren't actual things we can individually control (as paraphrased as the medieval equivalent of drunk driving), and it's more a way of "describing the unavoidable reality that our fate is not entirely in our hands" than a literal threat of punishment from God.

Yom Kippur is Judaism's way of telling us: Do not wait for a nosediving airplane or your final days in hospice to take your life seriously. Have a near-death experience at least once a year (ideally much more frequently [endnote asterisk]) during which your life passes before your eyes, and you ask yourself, "Is this the life I want to have lived? If my life ended five minutes from now, what would I wish I had done differently?"

This is relying on a comparison of Yom Kippur to a near-death experience, so the endnote asterisk is actually about teshuvah: "One of the Rabbis in the Talmud urges people to do teshuvah one day before their death. But since none of us knows when we're going to die, this means we should do teshuvah every day, just to be safe." (Personally, I keep going back and forth from being ambivalent to feeling like a killjoy about the premise of this comparison, but as mentioned earlier, there's been a little more suicide praise happening than I like lately.)

But in addition to its temporal proximity to the Days of Awe, Sukkot seems to have a spiritual proximity to these holidays. We have just spent Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur acknowledging that we're all going to die and have little control over how and when that happens. On Sukkot, we ask ourselves: If this is true—if we're just fragile, mortal beings hurtling to our deaths—how are we supposed to live? [...] On Sukkot, we acknowledge that we all wander the earth in rickety booths, exposed to the elements, and the key to living a good life is finding peace, joy, and gratitude along the way.

Ch 9 covers life cycle rituals (though the author notes that she will mostly be focusing on death rituals due to lack of personal experience with others).

The secular world is not great at helping us cope with big life transitions like getting married, starting a family, or losing someone we love. Instead of supporting and comforting us, it often does the opposite, scaring the living daylights out of us and then selling us products it claims will alleviate our fears. [...] Jewish life cycle rituals, on the other hand, are not consumer experiences—at least they're not supposed to be.

The author touches briefly on most of the commonly discussed life cycle moments, but as someone who is also unmarried and not raising children, I don't particularly mind that she's not trying to cover everything. (There are whole books about weddings, pregnancy and parenting, and other resources for b'nei mitzvah planning.) So, this chapter mostly focuses on death and the afterlife. A shomer (pl. shomrim) guards the body until it can be buried, and the ḥevra kadisha [or chevra kadisha] washes the body and dresses it. This isn't intended to go into great detail (for example, I've encountered discussion of how to include trans and nonbinary Jews in the traditionally single gender groups), but it does clearly focus on how the ḥevra kadisha is supposed to be respectful.

There's a bit about the funeral itself (unembalmed burial is traditional), kriah (ripping some sort of cloth/clothing), sitting shiva (7 days after burial), shloshim (30 days after shiva), and explaining the Mourner's Kaddish. Those mourning the loss of a parent say the Mourner's Kaddish for 11 months instead of just 30 days after shiva, and there's a subsection for 'the rest of our lives' for mending the kriah [historically more important due to how hard replacing torn clothing was], yizkor services (Passover, Shavuot, Shemini Atzeret, and Yom Kippur), and yahrzeit rituals, such as lighting a 24 hour candle on the anniversary of your loved one's death. There's also a bit about placing a small stone or pebble in a cemetery visit instead of flowers.

The next part touches on the afterlife and how Judaism doesn't strictly speaking have one unifying idea about what happens. There's so much focus on living and what happens during your life that there's room for afterlife options:

1) There's no afterlife and there's not really a soul, which can be supported by the Torah - "Unlike a 'soul,' which gives a person their unique personality and consciousness, this Divine spark/breath is entirely impersonal. It is a generic life-giving energy—and when it leaves your body, you die."

2) Inspired by Greek persecution and probably Greek philosophy about souls, the Talmud introduces a soul that lives on after one's physical body dies (and the possibility of bodily resurrection). Your soul can go straight to Gan Eden or it can get purified in Gehenna for up to 12 months before heading to Gan Eden, and then you can wait for the whole Messiah/World to Come part.

3) Kabbalists in the 12th century tended more towards reincarnation, but some of the specifics of the various reincarnation options probably don't make sense outside of an understanding of Kabbalah.

4) In more modern times, the idea of living on from memories and good deeds that your living relatives do in your name may or may not be related to one's soul continuing after death. (The possibility of bodily resurrection came to be viewed as superstitious starting in the 19th century, but not everyone abandoned the general idea of a soul immediately.)

Quite frankly, this is one of those areas where you can ask N people and you'll get N+1 answers. Since certain prayers came to be used during the centuries of the Talmud being created, some people aren't – or at least I wasn't – nearly as surprised as this author was when she found out about Gehenna. I think my first encounter with the idea was someone explaining how it wasn't the same as Xtian Hell. (I think the comparison was to a soul washing machine with a finite 'end of the wash cycle' instead of an eternity of torturous punishment.)

The conclusion presents Rabbi Benay Lappe's 'crash theory' about adapting to changes and covers some crashes in Judaism. The transition from a Temple focused, priest important, and animal sacrifice based religion to Rabbinic Judaism was one big crash, but there have also been others – European Enlightenment (and the possibility of assimilation), the Holocaust, the modern nation-state of Israel (and the complexities and critiques of a nation-state existing over the decades), interfaith marriages, and adapting one's community to be welcoming to everyone (colorism/racism, singlism, and I would add on queerphobia, transphobia, and ableism among other areas).

There's some general advice about exploring Judaism like bringing a certain amount of openness and curiosity to this, persevering after one unpleasant experience (you wouldn't write off all Italian food if you didn't like one dish at a new Italian restaurant), finding a teacher instead of struggling alone, moving through emotional obstacles preventing you from asking for help or clarification, remembering that there's no one true Judaism to follow, and not restricting yourself to an arbitrary time period to figure this all out. This can be a lifelong process, and you're not behind everyone else. (The teacher note includes taking some sort of Judaism 101 class, if available, but you could also have non-literal teachers via workshops, retreats, synagogue buddies, etc.)

There's also an appendix of resources for getting started (with Sarah Hurwitz's commentary still included).

[...] I'd recommend starting with some of the items in the "Introductory Materials" section to give you a broad web of context. Once you have a handle on the basics, you'll be prepared to dive more deeply into whichever topic(s) most intrigue you. Introductory Materials Classes: Introduction to Judaism classes are often offered at synagogues and Jewish Community Centers, and taking one is a great way to find your first teacher and connect with others who are exploring Judaism. I also found the following books and websites to be helpful when I was just starting to learn: The "What" of Judaism ~ Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, Jewish Literacy: The Most Important Things to Know About the Jewish Religion, Its People, and Its History: This 750-page book is broken up into essays of about two to four pages, and its title is a good description of what it offers. ~ My Jewish Learning (MyJewishLearning.com): You can find basic information on just about any Jewish topic on this site, as well as plenty of resources for deeper learning. ~ Bimbam (Bimbam.com): This website is filled with (often hilarious) videos on Jewish holidays, values, and rituals, as well as videos on the weekly Torah portion, the Talmud, and more. It also has videos for kids. The "Why" of Judaism ~ Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, A Letter in the Scroll: Understanding Our Jewish Identity and Exploring the Legacy of the World's Oldest Religion; Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi with Joel Segel, Jewish with Feeling: A Guide to Meaningful Jewish Practice; Harold S. Kushner, To Life!: A Celebration of Jewish Being and Thinking: These books offer answers to the "why be Jewish" question, and they've been influential in my own understanding of Judaism. ~ Rabbi Edward Feinstein, Tough Questions Jews Ask: A Young Adult's Guide to Building a Jewish Life: While technically for young people, Feinstein's explanations and observations are helpful for adults as well. The "How-To" of Judaism ~ Anita Diamant, Living a Jewish Life: Jewish Traditions, Customs and Values for Today's Families; Blu Greenberg, How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household: Both of these books offer concrete guidance for Jewish practice (and while I'm not the target audience for Greenberg's book, I found it to be quite insightful).

I do want to include the resources for other topics, but I need a visual break between the introductory section and the rest – Torah, Talmud, History, God, Ethics, Spiritual Practice, Shabbat, Holidays, and Death and Mourning.

Torah ~ Rabbi Reuven Hammer, The Torah Revolution: Fourteen Truths that Changed the World: This book provides an accessible account of some of the Torah's key ideas. ~ Robert Alter, The Five Books of Moses: I appreciate Alter's vivid translations, and find his notes to be quite helpful [...] ~ Rabbi Jonathan Sacks' Covenant and Conversation series of commentaries on the weekly Torah portion (online and in book form) and Rabbi Shai Held, The Heart of Torah: Essays on the Weekly Torah Portion, vols. 1 and 2: I recommend reading the Torah one weekly portion at a time and reading some of the corresponding essays from Rabbis Sacks and Held, which explore the Torah's spiritual and moral lessons. Talmud ~ Adin Steinsaltz, The Essential Talmud: Steinsaltz offers a clear overview of the history and content of the Talmud. ~ Ilana Kurshan, If All the Seas Were Ink; Jonathan Rosen, The Talmud and the Internet: A Journey Between Worlds: These books provide fresh takes on the Talmud from two people writing about their own experiences studying it. ~ Sefaria (sefaria.org): Sefaria is a free website and app that offers a massive library of Jewish texts—biblical, Talmudic, Kabbalistic, and more—many of them in English translation. History ~ Micah Goodman, A History of Judaism; Paul Johnson, A History of the Jews; Jonathan D. Sarna, American Judaism: A History: Each of these books is relatively concise and accessible given the scope of what they cover, and together, they provide a basic grounding in Jewish history. God Jewish Theology Overview ~ Rabbi Jamie S. Korngold, The God Upgrade: Finding Your 21st-Century Spirituality in Judaism's 5,000-Year-Old Tradition: This is a relatable journey through various Jewish God conceptions. ~ Rabbi Elliot J. Cosgrove, ed., Jewish Theology in Our Time: A New Generation Explores the Foundations and Future of Jewish Belief: This is a collection of provocative essays about the Divine. Specific Theologies/Thinkers ~ Harold S. Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People ~ Kenneth Seeskin, Maimonides: A Guide for Today's Perplexed ~ Jay Michaelson, Everything Is God: The Radical Path of Nondual Judaism ~ Shai Held, Abraham Joshua Heschel: The Call of Transcendence ~ Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, God of Becoming and Relationship: The Dynamic Nature of Process Theology Ethics ~ Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, A Code of Jewish Ethics, vols. 1 and 2, and Words That Hurt, Words That Heal: How to Choose Words Wisely and Well: Rabbi Telushkin distills a tremendous amount of Jewish law into clear prose peppered with anecdotes that make the material come alive. ~ Rabbi Donniel Hartman, Putting God Second: How to Save Religion from Itself: This book is an argument for how to resolve tensions between ritual and ethics (spoiler alert: ritual should serve ethics, not be in opposition to it). ~ Alan Morinis, Everday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar: A user-friendly introduction to Mussar with instructions on how to try it for yourself. Spiritual Practice ~ Lawrence A. Hoffman, The Way into Jewish Prayer: This is a solid introduction to, and overview of, traditional Jewish prayer. ~ Rabbi Mike Comins, Making Prayer Real: Leading Jewish Spiritual Voices on Why Prayer Is Difficult and What to Do About It: This book includes excerpts from dozens of thoughtful rabbis about their struggles and successes with prayer. ~ Rabbi Marcia Prager, The Path of Blessing: Experiencing the Energy and Abundance of the Divine: This book about the role and practice of blessings in Judaism also offers broader insights about Jewish spirituality.

There are several mediation resources: "What Now?: Meditation for Your Twenties and Beyond" by Yael Shy, "Be Still and Get Going: A Jewish Meditation Practice for Real Life" by Alan Lew, and two organization that the author has done retreats with – Or Halev, and Institute for Jewish Spirituality.

Shabbat ~ Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Sabbath: If you read just one book on Shabbat, this should be it. ~ OneTable (onetable.org): This website provides ritual resources, hosting tips, and access to Shabbat experts to help twenty- and thirty-somethings create meaningful Shabbat dinners. Holidays ~ Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Ceremony and Celebration: Introduction to the Holidays, and Rabbi Irving Greenberg, The Jewish Way: Living the Holidays: Each of these books provides an overview of the holidays, as well as an exploration of their moral and spiritual meanings. ~ Abigail Pogrebin, My Jewish Year: 18 Holidays, One Wondering Jew: A personal account by a thoughtful, funny Jew who spent a year observing all of the Jewish holidays. ~ Alan Lew, This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation: This book is filled with profound insight about the High Holy Day season. I know people who read it every year. ~ Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, The Jonathan Sacks Haggadah: Collected Essays on Pesaḥ: This book includes both a Haggadah and a series of essays exploring the meaning of Passover. ~ Haggadot.com: This website helps you make your own Haggadah. Death and Mourning ~ Anita Diamant, Saying Kiddush: How to Comfort the Dying, Bury the Dead, and Mourn as a Jew, and Maurice Lamm, The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning: These books both explain the death and mourning rituals and are invaluable for mourners and anyone wishing to understand the Jewish approach to death. Lamm's is from a more traditional perspective and provides more detail. ~ Jack Riemer, ed., Jewish Reflections on Death and Jewish Insights on Death and Mourning: These books offer essays about death and mourning from Jews of all different backgrounds. ~ Neil Gillman, The Death of Death: Resurrection and Immortality in Jewish Thought: An account of how Jewish thinking about the afterlife has evolved over the centuries.

Posted: 16 March 2024.

[ladyearlgreen]

Hidden Mercy: AIDS, Catholics, and the Untold Stories of Compassion in the Face of Fear by Michael J. O’Loughlin

Hey it’s been a hot minute since I did one of these write ups and I feel like this is a book that deserves one.  I’ll throw the rest under a cut so people can easily skip it because I know this probably isn’t most people’s cup of tea.

So something that I don’t like super talk about (here or in person) is that I’m technically Catholic; I say “technically” because, while I’m confirmed and everything and I do go to mass, I’m not like a big believer (I lean more toward agnostic than anything else). But my church invited this author to speak a while back and I went to his talk and I was just so moved by it. So, obviously, when I got home, I immediately ordered his book.

Hidden Mercy: AIDS, Catholics, and the Untold Stories of Compassion in the Face of Fear by Michael J. O’Loughlin looks at both the Church’s response to the AIDS crisis and how gay Catholics felt at the time. He talks about how he started this whole journey to help him figure how he felt about being gay and Catholic and then it became so much more.

While O’Loughlin tells lots of stories, two of the main... characters, shall we say, are Sister Carol, a nun and nurse who wanted to learn more about how to care for those with HIV and AIDS, and Father Bill, a gay priest and artist who saw himself in many of the men who were dying.

Sister Carol and another nun, Sister Mary Ellen, traveled from a small town in Illinois to NYC to live there for several months. While they were in NYC, they went to gay bars, worked at hotlines for HIV and AIDS support, and they both were really forced to confront their own biases so they could help those in need as best they could.

Father Bill, also in NYC for I think a majority of the crisis, cared for as many people as he could, whether that was being a listening ear, providing healing masses, or creating art, including AIDS Crucifixion and Stations of the Cross for a Person with AIDS. I know I’m not going to do him justice in just a couple of sentences so I’m not going to try. Father Bill also had a bit at the end where I did actually have to stop reading a sob for a bit:

While in conversation with O’Loughlin, Father Bill said that he “wants other gay Catholics to know that they have a place in the church”. Like I mentioned earlier, I’m more agnostic than Catholic and that’s partially because of the attitude the Church has had with the queer community, abortion, how it seems like they refuse to practice what they preach in terms of acceptance, etc. So while I’m not big on Catholicism, I did just like full on cry for a bit at that one line of acceptance. Full disclosure: I cried a lot while reading this. I hate crying. But I think learning this history was worth it.

Part of the other reason why I wanted to read it is my like weird relationship with the Church. Like I’ve mentioned, I have issues with Catholicism and the Church. But one of the reasons why, despite all my issues, I keep going to church is my parish, my community. I’ve spent pretty much my whole life in the same parish (except when I was at college and didn’t attend mass there outside like Easter and that was only the first 2 years) and so I’ve known many of the parishioners for years, many of them older. Going to church is how I really regularly interact with members of other generations and I’ve gotten a lot out of those relationships. I think it also helps that my parish was founded with social justice as a big part of its vision; I found out during the talk with the author that our parish actually had a buddy program for people with AIDS back in the 90s. So I think the relationships I have and the fact that my parish is generally more progressive than the sort of typically Catholic church makes me want to go regularly. I can tell you that, when we visit my sister, I do not go to her parish lol (not that her parish is bad, mind; it’s just so much bigger and def more traditional than mine and that makes me uncomfortable, especially after growing up in the parish I go to).

So, anyway, if you’re Catholic or maybe even religious at all and want to read about some great- and some, uh, not so great- responses to the AIDS crisis or if you want to find out another perspective of what was going on then, I highly recommend this book.

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[lavishedinjimin]

all the good girls go to hell

— synopsis: The Angels made a deal with Jeon Jungkook, the son of Lucifer, to help them bring Y/n back to her good, prim and proper self. Even though Jungkook grants the atrocious plan, he leaves a lesson that no one should give their trust to a wicked devil like him.

↳ pairing: jungkook x f. reader

↳ genre: smut, very slight angst if you squint hard enough

↳ rating: m/18+

↳ word count: 10k

↳ warnings: religious themes, heaven and hell, angels, devils (this fic is not a correct representation of these figures and is purely fictional), alcohol intake, cursing, hard dom jk, daddy! jk, fingering, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, squirting, unprotected sex, breathplay, spanking, face fucking, filthy dirty talk, rough sex, jungkook and his demon cock ehe

a/n: title is inspired by billie eilish’s song all the good girls go to hell. her title inspired me to write this fic! please ignore if you find any errors <3

“You’re not good enough.” 

“You look so pathetic, really.”

“Can you at least try to look hot?” 

“This is why no one likes you.” 

These words will forever haunt you until the day you die. 

It wasn’t your fault that you were raised very strictly, your overly-protective parents treating you like some kind of rare treasure that no one, no man, can touch. The fact that your parents still had to drive you home from school even at an age like this always irritated you to the brim of your existence. So now you can’t even have the freedom, the life of a normal young girl can have. 

Being raised strictly with a heavy-handed family – not to mention religious, too – has taken a toll on your mental health. There’s always the feeling of pressure wherever you go and whatever you do. The fear of not succeeding and disappointing your mom and dad is the worst feeling, like the Devil punching your gut repeatedly, as many times as he likes. 

Plus, some students at your school know you for your lack of “personality”, the boring one, the killjoy. You can’t even refute because it was all true. You never experienced fun, parties, how to have interesting conversations, how to interact with a large crowd, all because of your parents being so uptight in you. 

“Y/n!” The high-pitched voice of your mother calls from downstairs, and you were quick to scurry outside your room and find where she was sitting on the couch. “Yes, mom?” You say. 

She was dressed in a royal-blue dress that goes up to her knees, her hair fixed perfectly and the hairspray is clearly doing a great job of keeping her updo in place. She grabs her purse while your dad walks into view, dressed up in a neat suit. “We’re leaving for our business trip, Y/n. Didn’t I tell you that?” 

“Ah.” You sort of forgot about that. 

Quickly nodding your head, you force a fake smile that you know all too well, “Yes.” 

She gives you a weird glance before she fixes her makeup in a mirror, and your dad decides to continue for her. “We’ve hired a nanny to look after you, so that you won’t go out and about going behind our backs—”

“But dad! I really don’t need someone to babysit me,” You scoff. You weren’t a child anymore, what are they thinking! “I’m an adult. I can handle myself. Don’t you trust me?” 

Trust. Something they don’t have with you, whether they admit it or not. 

Your dad just sighs deeply and starts to walk closer to you. He places a hand on your shoulder as he looks straight into your eyes, giving you an authoritarian look. “Y/n, just do as you’re told and be a good daughter.” 

“I’ve always been one,” you scorn. 

“A good daughter doesn’t talk back.” Your mother retorts. 

This is why you can never argue with them. They never let you speak your own opinion or have your own voice. 

Your parents left exactly at 5 PM as they went on their flight to Madrid, leaving the house all to yourself only for tonight.

It was the next day, and you were sitting on the dining table, eating your cereal peacefully as you watched Netflix on your phone – until the doorbell rings. 

You stand up and quickly make your way to the front door, pouting when you already know that it is the person that was supposed to look after you. 

This is ridiculous. 

“Hello!” A bright, short middle aged woman appears standing on the doorway, her bright energy startling you. “Y/n! I’m May, nice to meet you!” She lifts her hand in front for a handshake, and you chuckle nervously, accepting it. “I’m here to look after you for ten days, hm?” 

“Uh, ah, yeah. C-Come in!” You tried to sound as positive and energized as you could to match her own energy, but you couldn’t. You step aside to let her in, pulling her luggage with her and she immediately takes up the design of the house. She was nodding her head, her arms crossed together while you accompanied her little journeys throughout the whole ground floor. You found her weird. 

“Uh, come follow me, my dad says you’ll be staying here at the guest room —” 

“Wonderful! I thought I was sleeping on the couch!” She claps her hands, excited that she has her own room. 

You look at her with big, shocked eyes, yet you can’t say anything. 

“O-Okay…” you mumbled, “Here,” you helped her open the door and she immediately set her things up. “May?” 

“Yes, my dear?” She stops unpacking her bags to look up at you. “I’ll be at the kitchen, okay? If y-you wanna ask anything, I’m right over there.” 

“Ah, that’s okay, Y/n. Your mother told me everything I need to know. Your bedtime is at eight and no midnight snacks!” 

Your heart drops down to the floor as you immediately encountered a wave of emotions. Why did it matter?! Why did your mom had to apply all these stupid rules when she’s not even around? You thought at the start that you’ll have some kind of freedom when your parents aren’t here, thinking that your nanny might be easier, but perhaps not. 

“Okay.” You say simply. 

How else can you prove to people that you can be better? You're sick of everyone seeing you as the boring one, but your parents were the only thing that was keeping you from having fun. So you decide to be a little risky. 

Step one: Sneak out the house. 

Isn't that what people your age do? Usually they sneak out to party, to go hang out with their friends and have the time of their life. But you had none, no ‘best friend’, but a couple of lunch friends here and there. 

“I should try clubbing.” You mumble to yourself as you sit down on the plush comfort of your mattress. Until you hear your phone chimes, signalling a text. You grab your phone from the bedside table and frown when you see who the text was from. 

Mom: Remember to go to church later, Y/n. 

You didn't reply, instead, it got you thinking. 

Nothing will happen if you skip church, right? You've always attended Mass every Sunday with your parents, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with skipping at least once.

Besides, you need to plot your plans for tonight!

~

“What is this girl doing?” Armaros says in a deep whisper, his well-shaped eyebrows furrowing deeply while he watches Y/n on her phone, laying down on her bed as if church isn't just five minutes away from starting. 

Armaros rushes to the other side of the room to get a better view of her human who lays on her stomach, a white wisp of smoke trailing behind him. He shakes his head, crossing his arms together in front of his chest. “Y/n, Y/n,” he tuts, “What are you doing?!” 

He decides to step forward and reaches forward for his hand to caress the crown of your head. He chuckles when he sees your eyes expand in a quick second, your body abruptly sitting up straight from the tingling feeling in your neck. Your hairs stand up, a chill running down your spine. 

This was Armaros’ way of mustering his presence onto you. Your dad always taught that whenever you suddenly feel a chilling sensation out of nowhere, it means that your guardian angel is there with you and trying to send you a message. 

And you clearly know what he's trying to say. 

There was a slight feeling of guilt – uneasiness, even. But no. You've already decided that you weren't going to follow your old routine. 

Armaros’ jaw drops when you don't move from your position on the bed, only making yourself comfortable even further. ”Don’t you dare skip church...” he slowly whispers to himself. But he quickly shakes his head side to side, trying to be optimistic, “It's just one time. Just one time.” 

Time passes by faster than you think, you sink your teeth down on your bottom lip, chewing on it as you try to Google clubs near you. It was ridiculous, feeling so overwhelmed from all of the options the Internet is showing you. 

There was a generous list of bars and clubs with different ratings. It was a humane decision to choose the best one, right? So you went for a nightclub called ‘Soap Seoul’. Although, you feel your stomach churn when you scroll through the images attached to it; seeing all of the strange blue and red LED lights, big and tight crowds, and an HD picture of their bar. The bar was long and almost occupied the width of the whole club. You don't even know if you can stand such a place like that. 

But no. You can't back out now! You had to show yourself and to others that you can have some fun too. 

~ 

The club opens tonight at 8 pm, letting yourself have two hours to prepare. Rummaging through your garments of clothing, you try to find an appropriate outfit.

“I have nothing!” you whined, eyebrows furrowing in dismay. All you had were simple t-shirts and countless skinny jeans and leggings. Your dresses were almost knee-length and suitable for church – not for a nightclub! 

Armaros stands at a distance, shaking his head at you. 

Until, you heard a loud knock on the door, “Y/n!” May's voice shouts from the other side of the room, “Dinner's ready!” 

Oh no. 

Quickly opening the door, you stared at her with big, worried eyes. “May! I-uhh, I-I’m not gonna stay for dinner…” you mumbled, looking at the ground. 

“Oh, why is that?” she asks, a faint sad tone in her voice. You felt so sad and regretful that you didn't say anything to her because she already cooked your dinner. 

“I-I have plans for tonight,” you hold your hands behind your back, slightly getting embarrassed. 

“Are you going out with your friends?”

“Y-Yeah!” You lie. You've never lied before. 

“Ah, I understand. Have you told your mom?” 

She doesn't have to know. 

“Yup.” 

And there it was again, the chills in your neck appeared while your arm and leg hairs stood up. Armaros touches your scalp, desperate to seek your attention and bring you back to your old, good self. The angel didn't like that you were lying, for he was perpetually accustomed to your good deeds. It was making him anxious for what's about to come. 

But you ignored his message. May nods when you told her that she can have the food to herself. 

You feel a pang of guilt rush through your body when you shut the door behind you, your heartbeat suddenly racing faster. The nervousness in you made your head hurt. Is this the right thing to do? No. It wasn't. But you had to show people that you can be different. Will it be worth it? Of course. 

Thankfully, you spot a white dress that you've never worn before. It was a gift from your cousins that was supposed to be another addition to your collection of church dresses but it was too short for your liking. 

“Hm, maybe this will work…” you quietly mumble to yourself.

You tried the piece of clothing on, carefully examining your reflection in the full-length mirror. The hem of the skirt falls right above your mid-thigh, too high for your usual comfort but for the sake of dressing up for a nightclub — there was no problem. The dress was snug, hugging your body so that it accentuates your curves.

The dress was plain white and was relatively simple. You don't really know what people usually wear for nightclubs but you were certain that dresses were a part of the code. 

You looked for your black three-inch heel that you last wore during your highschool graduation, slipping it in carefully. Doing a little bit of makeup and applying a thin layer of lip gloss, you grabbed a purse and walked out of your room. 

“May, please don't wait for me, okay?” you say after walking past her. 

“W-Wait, I'm supposed to–”

“It's okay. I'll be okay.”

“She's not gonna be okay!” Armaros declares, kneeling on one knee before Archangel Michael – the protector and the spiritual warrior, as he mentions Y/n's recent mischiefs.

After you've been to the nightclub the first day, you've never stopped. You became addicted. 

Sometimes you don't even tell May that you're going out, you just sneak out of the window and let May worry about you. You've happened to know how to drink as you get wasted every single night, hanging around with people that you don't know, people that are a bad influence on your good side. These past few days had you acting up like you’ve never before. You longed for alcohol and the feeling of it numbing your nerves, and there’s not a day where you didn’t get drunk.

Armaros’ power wasn't enough to stop you. Every single day he's been drying his best to send signals, to make you feel certain ways and speak to your consciousness that what you are doing is by far dangerous and wrong. But you never listened. 

You've skipped church, stopped talking to God, ignoring your parents’ phone calls, not doing your homework just because you're busy either getting drunk or making out with someone at the club. It's like you have been addicted to misbehaving. 

But for you, you thought you’re doing the right thing. 

“Armaros, are you doubting your powers?” Archangel Michael replies, running his fingertips along the sharp blade of his sword. 

“N-No, but, nothing seems to work. She's been ignoring my calls for almost two weeks. I just want the best for her.” Armaros’ voice fades at the end of his sentence. He was speaking with such sincerity because he really cares for Y/n. He truly loves her. “Why is she doing this?” He asks for help.

“Because, my dear, she's trying to prove something she's not for other people.”

“What?” 

Archangel Michael laughs quietly, staring at him endearingly. He points his sword at him, “She obviously tries to be immoral to fit in. She's rarely praying to God like she used to, rarely respecting the people around her. Ever since humans bullied Y/n for being herself – she starts to change. But the question is…”

He walks around Armaros, his eyes never leaving his. “Is this making her happy?” 

Armaros lowers his head and shakes his head. “I don’t know.” 

The Archangel grins and returns his sword back on the scabbard attached to his belt. 

“If I can't warn her to stop, then who else can?” The angel asks. 

Michael lifts an eyebrow up, crossing his arms together as he stands right in front of him. His mouth draws into a slow smirk, a hint of playfulness in his eyes as if a lightbulb appeared on top of his head. 

“You wanna have some fun, Armaros?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Stand up, stand up.” Armaros quickly obeys his superior’s command. The Archangel places a hand on his right shoulder, preparing to speak. 

“I have an idea. We call Jeon Jungkook up and–” 

“No! Absolutely not! I will not allow Y/n to come face to face with the son of Lucifer!” Armaros bellows, instinctively pushes Michael's hand away from him. 

“Armaros! It's just an idea!” Michael chuckles, spreading his arms to the side as he shakes his head. “And besides, I have to ask permission from our Highness anyway.” 

“And what will he do? Taunt her? Provoke Y/n to be more sinful?” Y/n's guardian angel asks, referring to Jungkook. “We both know how manipulative and cunning he can be!”

“No, no. We'll make a deal with him, of course! No devil will do anything without receiving something in return.” 

“This idea of yours, not to be rude, but is really out of this world.”

Archangel Michael snorts from the out of the blue pun. 

“Do not be afraid. If our Lord agrees to our plan, I'll be watching. I always will. Give me your trust, Armaros.”

Armaros sighs deeply, yet smiles up at him right after. “Okay, I trust you.” 

“May, stop it,” you mutter angrily, pulling your arm away from her hold. May tries to block your way from going outside the house but you abruptly push her to the side. 

“Y/n! Your mom told you that–” 

“Told me what?! That I’m being independent? Unruly? That I should just stay home? I don’t give a fuck anymore, May. I’d rather hang out with friends than stay here and do nothing!” You bark at her. She was smaller than you and you were definitely giving off that intimidating vibes that you wanted to show. She isn’t the one wearing the pants in this house. You are. 

“Y/n, I will not tolerate this behavior!” May snaps, eyes glaring at you with her hands balled up into fists on her sides. 

Rolling your eyes, you let out a sour chuckle, “You sound like my mom.” 

May sighs deeply, the tiredness in her voice evident, “I’m just trying to keep you safe, Y/n. Just listen to me.” 

“I’m an adult. I can keep myself safe. Now, let me go and don’t wait for me.” 

“Y/n!” 

“Bye May! Have a nice sleep!” 

“Y/n! Where the fuck are you?!” Emilia, one of the new friends you've met no longer than three days ago shouts through the phone as loud, blazing music muffled her voice. “Sophia and I are waiting for you! Get your ass over here!”

“I'm almost there, save me a drink already!” you giggle, looking out from the taxi’s window. 

Sophia snatches the phone out of Emilia’s hand to speak to you, “Y/n, you still remember the bet we made, right?” 

“Of course! It's not a huge deal, c'mon now.” You roll your eyes, faking a laugh. 

“We'll see!” Emilia giggles. 

The driver drops you in front of the nightclub and you throw him a couple of dollars. Stepping out of the car, your high heels clicking on the cement. Upon entering the place, you were immediately greeted with your friends. They were both wearing a tight dress – glittery red and silver – whilst you wore a black one that reached down to your middle thigh. You bought the dress only a day ago, special thanks to your Amazon Prime account . 

“Hey! Here, drink this,” Sophia hands you a single malt whiskey and you swiftly drown it down your throat without any problem. You reminisce back to your first day where you can’t even take a sip of beer without gagging. Now look where you are. 

“Ahh fuck, that tastes good,” you mumble through gritted teeth. 

“Why are you late tonight, Y/n?” Emilia asks as she leads you to the bar to order more alcohol. Her high pitched voice mixing with the loud music,”You know it's always 9 PM. Sharp.” 

You breathe out heavily as you watch Sophia pour three shots of straight vodka into a shot glass. She distributes the beverage to the two of you. 

“Well, uh–” 

“What?” Emilia snaps.

“I couldn't find a goddamn cab, that's why!” you hide your falseness with laughter, hoping they won't sense your lie. 

“Alright anyway, let’s go get wasted and you, Y/n – will be our first player.” Emilia smirks as she crosses her arms together. She analyzes your body, eyeing you up and down. You didn’t like it, and you felt worried. 

Your eyebrows furrow, confused and slightly offended, “What, why me?” You take a sip of your newly-ordered beer, trying to get comfortable on the plush-covered stool. 

“Because,” Sophia answers for her, “we need to know your… capacities.” 

You snort, “Capacities of what? My capacity of having to get into a m-man’s bed? Pffft… easy!” 

Sophia’s forehead furrows, glancing at Emilia with a knowing look before focusing her attention back to you. “Sure. Anyway, let’s have fun first and then…” she leans closer to you, her face inches away from yours. You feel your face redden in embarrassment, “And then you can choose your man.” 

It wasn’t that bad. It isn’t bad dancing around the dance floor, beer in hand, as you danced all your worries away. Emilia and Sophia were out there – somewhere, but you didn’t care about them at this moment. You let your body go with the beat of the loud EDM music, holding your hands up in the air as you whipped your head left to right. You had a huge smile on your face, the alcohol kicking in like it was meant for your body to consume. 

Sweaty bodies were bumping each other from left and right, and you for sure stepped on someone’s toe with your pumps. Nevertheless, you didn’t care. You were having your fun. 

It was until the song changed from upbeat to a more sensual, heart-pumping song from the loud bass. As if there was a switch inside you, you turned into a sultry mess. 

Wasted. You were wasted like hell. 

Your eyes turn into little slits as you look around the dance floor to try and find someone to play with. Taking a huge sip of your drink, your throat burns yet you tried to ignore it. 

“Ah-hah!” you giggle, walking – or should we say, stumbling – towards a guy with black hair parted in the middle, nicely dressed in a black button up tucked in some skinny jeans. The man locks eyes with you, licking his plump lips as his eyes rake your body. 

“Hey there, gorgeous,” he smirks, making you blush in red as he holds your waist and tugs you closer to him. The song in the background was helping you a lot to get into that seductive, sexy mood that you planned to have. 

“Hey,” you smile up at him, “I’m Y/n.” 

“What a pretty name for a pretty lady.” He starts swaying your body to the beat, going along with you. “I’m Seokjin. Nice to meet you.” 

Seokjin tugs your body closer until he holds the back of your head with one hand, making you look deep into his dark eyes. “Y-You’re a new face,” you slur, “You don’t belong here.” 

Unexpectedly, your eyes grow big when Seokjin throws his head back as he laughs almost hysterically. “What?” you question. 

The man slightly leans down until his face draws near to yours, and you can immediately smell the alcohol in his breath. You didn’t judge though, you probably had beer-breath too. 

“Baby girl…” Seokjin suddenly speaks deeply, making your heart jump from the sudden change in his voice. There was a sultry look in his eyes that made it hard for you to keep eye contact. “Baby it’s you who doesn’t seem to belong. You don’t know who I am.” 

“Well y-you don’t know me e-either!” You try to retaliate, although it was messed up with your embarrassing stuttering.  

“You really wanna know?” he whispers, his lips right against your lips, almost touching yours. You couldn’t breathe properly, wanting to pull away but his intoxicating scent was forcing you to him. 

You nod your head, not trusting your voice. 

“I own this place, baby.” 

You almost tossed your cup right across the room from his sudden confession, totally not expecting such a young-looking man to own such a place like this. Your eyes expand, body staying still. 

’Wait! Be sexy… be sexy…’ you thought to yourself after an awkward five seconds of silence. 

You decide to chuckle, biting your bottom lip slowly as you draw yourself nearer to him. He lifts a brow up in surprise, wrapping his arms around your hips and he closes the distance between the two of you. 

“Really? Well then,” you mutter, “I want you to own me too.” 

“Oh, finally. Someone straightforward.” 

“Well I – oh!” Seokjin takes you by surprise when he quickly tugs your arm and leads you to the second floor of the club. You haven’t been in this area before, looking so luxurious and well decorated. Although what shocks you is the series of doors that passes through a long, wide hallway. 

“Seok...Seokjin,” you whisper, but he looks at you with a smirk, a playful glint in his eyes. 

“C’mon baby,” he opens a door and walks you inside, locking it behind him. “Let’s have a little fun.” 

Let’s have a little fun. 

Yeah. I should. 

This is fun, right? 

Before you can even process things, Seokjin shoves your body to a wall as his hands start to wander down your sides. With flushed cheeks, you look at him like you’ve just seen a ghost but he clearly doesn’t mind, grinding his hips into yours. 

“Mmm, what a cute babe I have in front of me,” he groans, leaning forward to pepper wet, gentle kisses all over your neck and down to your shoulders. 

Something feels off. 

“Y/n, right?” he asks, his forehead furrows and you nod. “Can I kiss you?”

Your heart starts to rapidly pump inside your chest, feeling as if it’ll burst at any minute. An uncomfortable feeling starts to overwhelm your system, sensing your palms getting sweaty. You can’t look at his eyes, looking anywhere but him. 

“Uh, o-okay,” you straighten your back as you try your best to look confident. 

This is the perfect opportunity to tell your friends. Having sex with someone like him will absolutely impress Emilia and Sophia. 

Seokjin chuckles, shrugging, “Alright then.” And without any warning, he throws you on the bed and he quickly hovers above your body. 

“Mmph–!” he immediately presses his lips into yours before you can even react to everything that had just happened. He caresses your cheeks with both hands, his lips moving softly with yours. You try your best to keep up with him and his pace, but you can’t. There was something stopping you from giving him your all. Seokjin grunts nevertheless, humping you. 

Seokjin’s right hand snakes down to grab the hem of your dress as he teasingly pulls the fabric up, then lets it snap back down. There was a weird feeling inside your stomach, and it did not feel good at all. 

His hand slowly starts creeping up your leg, and that’s where you couldn’t hold it back. 

“Mmm, n-no,” you mewl, pushing him away from you. Seokjin stares down at you with a frown, head tilted to the side. 

“Y/n?” 

Rapid heart rate, the back of your neck sweating, and chills all over your body occur all at the same time. You were panicking. 

“I-I…” immediately you stand up from the bed, hiking your stupid short dress down as much as you can. “S-Sorry,” furiously shaking your head from side to side, you stumble your way to the door. 

“Y/n, wait!” Seokjin yells, confused yet he felt sorry at the same time. “Let’s talk about it!” 

“No,” you whisper. You can’t do this anymore. There was no energy left in your body to talk, to process what just happened, to stand in this fucking club. Home. All you were thinking about was going home. 

You twist the doorknob open, trying to catch your breath as much as you can but you feel like you were going to pass out any minute. Making your way down the stairs, you run as fast as you can towards the exit of the nightclub yet a person catches your arm. 

“Y/n!” Your eyes widen when Emilia and Sophia stop you, observing your state. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“No…” you breathe tirelessly, “c-can’t do it…” 

“You failed?” Emilia snaps as she leans her body on one hip, resting her hands there. She looks at you with disgust, “But we saw the guy that you’re with! He was hot!” 

Sophia snorts, smirking as she stares at you sourly, “Proves our point. You’re nothing, Y/n. You had such an easy job, the guy’s already all over you and you just had to throw him? Where is he, let me get with him myself.” Sophia struts away, heels clicking as she flips her long hair over her shoulder, leaving you with Emilia. 

“What can I say, Y/n,” she smiles menacingly, the corners of her eyes crinkling, “You can never be like us.” 

Your whole body felt heavy, heavy like you were carrying a boulder behind your back. This isn’t what you had planned at all, everything was going so well until this! Your eyes started welling up with tears, blurring your sight. You had to go. 

Without saying a word, you quickly run away to the exit, ignoring Emilia’s insensitive laugh. 

What went wrong? Why did you feel that way? Negative thoughts were clouding your mind as you cried and cried to your poor, soaked pillow. 

Maybe you are just not enough. Perhaps you’re not meant to be like this. 

It was fun the first time around, and you were actually enjoying yourself. But the days passed and you sadly weren't doing this for your own pleasure anymore, but for the validation of other people. 

You should’ve stopped Seokjin from touching you when it clearly made you uncomfortable. There was a line and he crossed it, but you erased that line so you can finally say that you’ve slept with someone. But you guessed it wasn’t that easy. 

Grabbing your phone, you ignored all of the rude messages Emilia has sent you, blocking her and Sophia’s number. You turned off your phone, throwing it somewhere on the ground without care before you switched off your lamp. There was never a time that you’ve cried yourself to sleep, but tonight was your first. 

“And what do I get in return for this deal?” Jeon Jungkook purrs with a low, dark tone, crossing his legs together as he sits on his father’s fire-blazing throne. Even though he has his own throne for himself, thrones on fire were way cooler. He scans the frightened angel from head to toe through the strands that fell in front of his eyes. 

“The A-Archangel says you will obtain a soul. A soul that is longing for hell.” Armaros stutters as he tries to keep eye contact with the devil’s hard glare. 

Jungkook chuckles, hanging his head low. “You mean to tell me…” he starts to stand up and walks towards the angel. Armaros tries his best to keep his guard up and stand as tall as possible. 

Jungkook circles around him, arms crossed while his right hand plays with his bottom lip, “That I should convince this little girl to prevent doing bad, bad things to stop her from going to hell?” He laughs hysterically. “That’s quite… an unnatural job for a devil, isn’t it? It’s completely the opposite of what i’m supposed to do. Tell Michael that his plan is utter bullshit.”

Armaros takes a deep sigh, closing his eyes for a brief second before replying. “Firstly, Y/n is not a little girl. And second, this job is easy. You have the skill to persuade humans to sin – what’s hard with doing the opposite? Besides, you’ll obtain a soul either way.” 

His words made Jungkook ponder and deliberate with himself. He stops in front of Armaros and shows him his signature imposing smile. “I can have my way with the girl, right?” He bites his lip, “Anyway I want?” 

This made Armaros’ eyes go wide, mouth opening but no words seem to come out properly, “I-I… w-well, um… yes? Yes? P-Perhaps? Just don’t do anything bad to her.” 

Jungkook scoffs, running his long tongue over his teeth as he smirks, “Define bad, Mr. Angel.” 

“You know… hurt her.” He gulps.

The devil squints his eyes, absolutely loving Armaros’ reactions. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not gonna kill her, if that’s what you mean.” 

“I’m done with this conversation.” Armaros quickly chirps as he unfolds his large, white wings. “Remember what your main goal is, Jungkook. I’m counting on you.” 

Jungkook stops him before he flies back up. “Armaros…” he says, dragging his name long in his tongue. Armaros looks at him, eyes impatient, arms crossed together. 

“You know I’m a devil, right?” 

The angel chuckles, scoffing, “Oh, I know that alright.” He scorns, eyeing Jungkook up and down. Although the devil in front of him looks intimidating and his eyes are jet black, Armaros keeps his calm. “I’m only following orders. I didn’t agree with The Archangel in the first place.” 

“Do you know what devils do to… humans?” 

Armaros nods fully. 

“And what I might do to… that precious little girl?” Jungkook growls deeply, walking closer to him. He tilts his head down, looking at him through his lashes, “There’s a huge chance that I might not control myself when I see her.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Suddenly, black smoke appears from Jungkook’s right hand, summoning something beside him. The smoke appears to subside and at once, Y/n’s appearance can be seen through the thin air. Jungkook rests his hips on one side, twirling his hand so that her image spins around. 

“This is Y/n, right?” Jungkook studies your face, watching you read a book inside your room. “I’ve never seen someone so beautiful before.” 

“Jeon Jungkook!” Armaros bellows, his tone loud yet sprinkled with fear. 

“I’m just saying, Angel. You can’t stop me from trying to do devilish things to her.” Jungkook smirks, prodding his tongue on the inside of his cheek. “You might have to reconsider this deal of yours if you don’t want me to have my way with that pretty little girl,” He taunts, already warning Armaros.

“Jungkook,” Armaros’ nerves seem to heat up, slowly getting irritated although he tries to calm himself. He looks down, shaking his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “There’s no point in doing that. You think she wants to have an affair with someone like you?” 

The devil laughs loudly as he twirls his hand until your image disappears. This conversation further proves Jungkook’s argument that angels are actually dumber than they realize. 

“If you want me to help you, I will have my way with her. My job, my rules. Understand?”

Armaros feels defeated, but he can’t say anything but nod and agree to him. He can’t fight him anyway. Jungkook dismisses him, and with that, the angel ascends back up to earth. 

Jungkook can’t wait to have his fun. 

~

Prancing around, making friends, getting to know each other – Jungkook doesn’t want to do that. Instead, he’s very straightforward, saying words that he probably shouldn’t, he likes to say what he thinks no matter how bad it’ll probably hurt. 

That’s what he plans to do with you. 

If he gets his point clear, make you frightened, scare the shit out of you, then the job would be complete. 

Easy! 

You were currently on your laptop, scrolling through your pinterest tabs until you hear loud and frantic knocks on your door. “Y/n!” May shrieks, her voice quivering. “Someone’s at the door!” 

Oh no, you thought. 

Immediately hopping out of bed, you went out to see who it was with May following behind you. You peak out through the windows and suddenly, you inhale sharply from the man that you see. 

He was unfamiliar. Thankfully, it wasn’t Seokjin or Sophia nor Emilia, but rather tall, might you say handsome looking man waiting outside your doorstep. He was dressed in all black, his hair covering his eyes. 

“Do you know him?” May asks quietly. You shake your head slowly, “N-No.” 

“Y/n… I think you should just leave him.” 

“May, I can handle it. You can go now.” You say softly to her. 

“Are you sure—”

“Yes.” You spat a little harshly, blazing your eyes at her. May nods, sighing as she walks away to her room. 

Gathering the courage to open the door, you took a deep inhale and exhale, calming your nerves. 

Once you open the door, your eyes immediately fly to his dark ones. Your whole body suddenly shivers, the air around the place somewhat getting cold as if it was winter. 

You can't take your eyes off of the man. You have never met him before but it felt like you've known him for too long. There was a strange aura surrounding the two of you that you can't explain. 

“Hello.” He speaks first, giving you a sly smile. 

His voice. You've never heard such a dark and menacing timbre before. 

“Hi,” you gulp, “Who are you?” 

“May I come in?” Jungkook snaps, ignoring your question. He doesn't want to waste any time, that's for sure. 

You furrow your brows as you shake your head, “Answer my question first.” You blurt, blocking the entrance by placing your hands on either side of the doorway. 

“Hm,” Jungkook slowly shows you a deadly smirk, eyeing your body up and down. “You really wanna know?” 

What kind of a question is that? 

You quickly got annoyed, looking at him with a scorn. “Obviously!”

Feisty, Jungkook thought. 

“I'm the devil.”

There was a long pause, silence filling the air. This man is too handsome to be this dumb. You laugh hysterically, bending over as you hold your aching stomach. “A-Are you… oh my god… please tell me you're fucking joking!” you say with creased eyes. 

Jungkook already expected this reaction, and he only rolls his eyes without you noticing. 

“Mhm. You don't believe me?” he slowly pronounces his words, voice deep and sinister. 

“Nah,” you shake your head, giggling. 

“Aren't you religious?” Jungkook pushes you to the side without hesitation and enters, your eyes expanding slowly as his body suddenly comes in contact with yours. “Don't you believe in your God? You believe in angels, right?” He backs your body up and shuts the door loudly behind him. 

You felt a series of chills erupt from your system, his gaze locked on yours. You wanted to look away from his intimidating gaze, but you can't, for some strange reason. “Huh, Y/n?”

You gasp. “Wait, h-how do you know my name!?” 

Jungkook smirks at you, tilting his head to the side as he ignores your question again. 

Your body seems to move by itself, like you can't control your own limbs. The air thickens around the two of you as you feel your body submit to the man in front of you. 

Sighing, with a shaky voice you answer. “I do. I do believe in them.”

Although what shocks you is the way his eyes suddenly turn a bright shade of red. From deep black to red, his irises glow. 

“What the fuck–” you quickly back away, body shivering in fear until your back hits a wall. You rub your eyes, trying to see if your mind was only playing tricks with you. 

Jungkook grins and chuckles darkly, clicking his tongue. “Then…” he draws, walking closer to your frightened figure, “Can this convince you enough?” 

“S-Stop… stop playing games with me!” you whimper, feeling your palms get sweaty. “Your eyes are red!” 

“Hmm, I wonder why,” Jungkook snarls, forehead creasing, “Maybe because I'm the fucking devil?” 

And in a flash, Jungkook’s appearance changes from a tall, handsome boy into a dark red figure. Black, bat-like wings sprout from his back, long horns appearing from his forehead, a spear-like tail behind him. His lips and the area around his eyes were tinted in black while his fingers grew longer, sharper. 

You almost fainted then and there. 

“Oh— p-please,” your eyes turn watery as tears start to fall down your cheek, lifting your hands up to your mouth in shock, “please d-don't kill me!” Shutting your eyes to avoid the frightening image in front of you, your knees drop down to the floor with a loud thud. “I'm sorry, please f-forgive me! Don't k-kill me! Please!” 

“Oh, what a cute pretty girl you are,” the devil grins, his voice more gravelly now. He looks down at your frail self, amused. “I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to teach you a lesson.” 

You start to sob as your body shakes, “No! Please d-don't…”  

“Do you believe me now?”

“Yes! Yes I do!” you quickly reply, voice cracking. “I’m sorry s-sir, don’t hurt me!” 

Jungkook, satisfied with your reaction, morphs back to his normal human look within a few seconds. “Look at me.”

Slowly, afraid to anger the devil in front of you, you obey his words. You sigh in relief when he finally looks normal again, but you can't look at him the same way. 

“Stand up.”

You do so with wobbly legs. You felt so weak with your energy quickly drained so quickly. Wiping your tear-stained cheeks, you try your best to keep your composure. 

“Anyway, I'm Jungkook,” he gives you an award-winning smile, “I'm sent here to supposedly warn you from doing bad things.” He cringes, shaking his head. “Which, honestly speaking, I think is atrocious.”

He scans your body, biting his lip right after. “A good looking girl like you should have her fun.” 

You try to regain your senses back. A devil — a real devil appeared right in front of you. You can't seem to shake the thought away while he’s there looking so handsome in his human form. 

With a shaky breath, you ask him, “J-Jungkook? I'm really sorry. I don't know what I'm doing.” 

He snorts. Brushing his black hair away from his face. “Wrong. You know what you're doing.” 

“W-What?” 

Something in the air changes when Jungkook snaps his fingers. A thick, black smoke appears, capsuling the both of you in. “What is this?!” you question, terror overtaking your face. You watch your surroundings getting blurry, blackness covering the area. 

“Oh nothing,” he gives you a lopsided grin, “just making sure that your little angels can't see us.” 

Jungkook's eyes shine and his pupils enlarge, smiling as you notice how his teeth grow sharper. There were veins popping out in his neck, grimacing at you in pure excitement.  

“We can't afford your poor, guardian angel to stop us now, can't we? I don't want him to see us…playing.” 

“Playing?!” You gasp, eyes expanding in shock.. 

“Yes, baby. Angels are so fucking dumb, aren't they? Asking a devil to do their own work? Isn't that pathetic.”

You were locked to him like a magnet as your body seems to fill with utter desire in such a quick time. 

Was he doing something to you?!

A series of pleasurable chills erupt from your body, mouth getting dry as you look up at Jungkook with big eyes. 

His hand suddenly touches your bare arm, making you silently mewl from his chilling touch. He smirks at your reaction, “How dumb of them to trust the son of Lucifer himself.”

“Y-You… you're…” your voice fades, trying to process his words. 

“Mhm. Aren't you excited to play with me?” 

Maybe he's doing tricks to your mind, controlling your body – or maybe you’re just fucked up. Either way, you want him. 

You lust for him. 

“Yes.”

Jungkook draws his lower lip between his teeth, his hands finding its way to your waist, holding you firmly until he unexpectedly pulls you to his body. He lifts a single eyebrow up, “Really?” 

Your heartbeat quickens. 

“I've… I’ve never been more sure.” Words seem to spill out of your mouth without your consent, as if it wasn’t you who’s speaking. But you don’t try to take your words back.  

Jungkook laughs and starts to lift you up without struggle, finding his way to your bedroom while the smoke follows the two of you. “Bad, bad girl you are.” He lowers you down on the mattress, sending you a seductive wink, “I'm so fucking proud.” 

He preps himself on his knees, capturing your thighs in between. His eyes run down your body, chills running down your spine from how hot he looks. His figure was so big and muscular, making you feel like he can destroy your frail self. 

“Look at this, you look so fucking delicious baby.” 

His hand suddenly flies down to your armpits, roughly handling you as he carries you up as he sits down on the bed, his back pressed against the headboard, as he places you in between his legs. 

You hold back a whimper as he pushes your body closer to him. Hearing him growl deeply made your cunt throb, feeling a strange wet feeling down there. 

“Demons can't help humans,” he mutters lowly, his lips right against the shell of your ear. “They want you to sin and sin and sin until the day you fucking die.” 

His hands play with your shirt until in a quick flash, he rips the cotton material in half, your body shivering as it has been exposed to the cold air. “Ohh,” you whimper, covering your body with your arms. 

“Nu-uh,” Jungkook grins behind you, “Don't do that, baby.” He leans down and starts pressing wet and sloppy kisses all over your shoulders, running his mouth up to your neck. “Don't try to hide away from me.”

He sucks on the soft skin of your neck, his big dick throbbing in his pants from the way you were constantly squirming. You were so sensitive, and it made him so horny. He hums, marking your skin in bright red and purple bruises. 

“Ahh, Jungkook,” you moan, throwing your head back until it rests right against his shoulder. 

His hands suddenly fly to your breasts, his long and slender fingers pinching and twisting your hardened nipples. You bite your bottom lip as you can't seem to open your eyes from the feeling. It was until Jungkook suddenly digs his nails into your nipples, pinching them roughly that made you jolt right up. 

“Oh, t-that hurts,” you cry, the stinging feeling of his sharp nails pinching your buds. Jungkook watches your face contort, digging his nails even harder. He feels your body twitch, hearing your gentle whines and mewls. 

“Ohhh you don't like it baby, does it hurt too much for your sensitive, precious body?” he mocks a concerned tone. “Hm?” 

He was playing games with you, that's for sure. You nod your head up and down, trying to push his hands away. “Mhm…” 

Thankfully, he does stop but he quickly cups your breasts with both hands. He feels your rock-hard nipples pushing against his rough palms, kneading your boobs until he finally lets go. 

“Take these off,” he instructs you to pull your shorts down, and you do so. With trembling hands, you swiftly tug them off of your legs. 

“Mmm, fuck,” he grunts behind you, his right hand lowering down from your stomach until it reaches the destination right against your clothed pussy. His fingers slowly trace down your slick, feeling how wet you are through your panties. 

He smirks cockily, “You're fucking drenched, baby. Are you this horny?” he rubs your clit in slow, circular motions with just the right amount of pressure with the tips of his two fingers, your legs shivering. “Want something to stuff that little hole of yours?” 

He pulls your underwear down to your thighs, and you instantly shake it off with your legs. Jungkook pushes your legs apart, forcing your knees up with your feet flat on the mattress. Your cunt flutters around air from the exposure. You whine when his left arm possessively wraps around your stomach, his biceps flexing when he holds you tightly. 

“Stay fucking still,” he growls, his warm hand cupping your bare cunt. He chuckles, prodding his tongue against his cheek as he plays with your folds. He uses two slender fingers to spread your labia apart and you can feel your glistening arousal drip from your hole down to your ass. 

Jungkook hums in satisfaction, spreading your lips wider, making you emit a moan. “Jungkook—”

“No. I want you to call me something…” he elongates the pause in his sentence to suddenly insert the tip of his middle finger in your pussy, causing you to jump. “Something else, baby.” 

“Ah-ahh, what?” your legs couldn't stop trembling as he pushes his finger deeper, your walls sucking it in deliciously. 

You can feel him smirk against the skin of your neck, he snickers, “Starts with the letter D.” 

Your eyes squint in confusion, tilting your head up to look at him. Jungkook, with his glowing red eyes, scans your face with a quirked eyebrow expectantly. 

“Devil?” 

Jungkook scoffs loudly and instantly pushes the rest of his finger in your cunt, immediately pumping in and out at a rapid pace. Your hands quickly hold onto his arm that was wrapped around you, mouth agape from the sudden thrusts. “Ohhh!” your body shakes, leaning your head against him. Electric waves of pleasure run through your body, being new to the sensation. 

He growls as he removes his finger out to slap your pussy harshly, hitting your sensitive clit. “Wrong.” 

“Oww…” you mewl, your hips bucking up from the sting. He does this again, and again, and again, making your eyes watery. He tightens his hold on you, stopping you from squirming too much. 

“Daddy.” He purrs. 

Your body instantly feel a series of shivers. 

“Call me daddy.” Jungkook bites your neck roughly while he inserts his digits back, this time using his middle and ring finger. You hiss in pleasure, eyes tempting to roll back when he brushes the sponge-like texture inside your pussy. 

“Shit, right there daddy,” you curse, rolling your hips against his hand for more. “Right there!” 

Jungkook feels his cock harden even more, precum dripping down his tip as it twitches against his clothes. The way you pronounce that certain word drove him crazy. Jungkook loves how your body easily crumbles beneath him as you allow him to have all the control. He pounds your pussy faster with his hand, putting his bicep to good use. 

You were about to cum, the feeling of a tightness inside your tummy, a ball about to burst at any second. You warn Jungkook, “Daddy, i-i think… I think I'm gonna c-cum,” you sob. 

“I know.” He says simply, fucking you harder. Suddenly, he pushes his index finger in, three digits stretching your walls out. You cry loudly, thrashing around him as high-pitched moans carelessly leave your mouth. “Shiiiiit, d-daddy!” 

“Need to stretch this little pussy out for my cock” he purrs, “cuz’ we don’t want that tiny hole of yours to split into two, right baby?” 

Your toes curl, nails digging into the skin of his arm as you fail to warn him that you're gonna cum any second now. Although he can feel the way your pussy was pulsing around his long fingers. He angled his hand until your clit was brushing against his palm, “Daddy! Ohh fuck, just l-like that!”

Until it all stops. 

All of the pleasure stops when Jungkook pulls his fingers out. 

“Fuuuuuuuck!” you yell, never been more frustrated before as he denies your orgasm. You were about to cum so hard. Your legs shake uncontrollably, scratching his arms as your body shudders. Your poor cunt pulsates rapidly from the sour loss. You were a whimpering, sobbing mess. 

Laughing dryly behind you was Jungkook, licking his fingers clean as he watches your dignity wash away right in front of his eyes. 

“Fuck you,” you scowl, pushing away his arms and turning to face him. “Fuck. You.” 

But he wasn't bothered at all, of course. He was the devil after all. He had no remorse.

Before you know it, Jungkook wraps his hand around your throat and swiftly pulls you close to his face. You gulp, terrified from the intimidating look in his eyes. 

Jungkook thinks that he can easily kill you then and there. If it were a different person, he wouldn't hesitate to snap their neck like a stick. Usually he would feel tempted to physically hurt a person in this kind of situation. But no. He likes you. He likes you too much to kill.

“Take my cock out.”

Even though you hate him for denying your orgasm so brutally like that, you nod your head. Jungkook removes his shirt as you scoot down. You were careful to unbutton his pants, heart rate going faster from the thought of seeing his cock right in front of your face. By the look of the large tent evident, he was gonna be huge. Jungkook watches you with heavy eyes, running his hand through your hair softly. 

You pull the garment down and your mouth visibly waters from the sight. The outline of his cock was evident from his briefs, long and thick and was certainly rock hard. You were so afraid to even touch it as you let your hands sit right on his thighs. 

“Haven't done this before?” he asks, rubbing your cheek with one hand. You shake your head, afraid to look at his glaring eyes. 

Jungkook chortles, quickly pulling his underwear down by himself.

His cock immediately springs out and rests on his abdomen. With wide, surprised eyes, you notice his red tip leaking so much precum, dripping down his abs. You involuntarily whine and wiggle your hips in need, your wetness dripping down your thigh. 

“Take it in your mouth.” He orders, voice strict and demanding. 

“But—” 

“Did I stutter?” 

“No daddy.” You whisper, looking away and finally gathering the courage to wrap your hands around his girth. You clench your thighs together when you feel him against your palm – warm and heavy, yet the skin was soft at the same time. When you stroke his shaft up and down watching how his precum pours down to your hands, providing you lubrication as it coats his cock. 

Jungkook throws his head back as he smiles down at you, feeling so good. He bucks his hips up repeatedly, meeting your timid strokes. 

His patience runs out and slaps your hand away, gripping his cock tightly. Suddenly, he slaps his dick on your cheek, making lewd and wet sounds. “Open your fuckin’ mouth.” 

Obeying his command, you wrap your lips around his leaking tip. You taste the saltiness of his seed on your tongue, trying your best to take more of him. His thick girth was making it hard for you as your jaw immediately feels sore. 

His hand flies to grip your hair, making you whine around his cock, causing vibrations. “Look at that pretty little mouth tryna’ take this cock,” he smirks, “Go deeper baby. Gag around my cock if you don't wanna be punished.” 

Your hips swivel in need from his words, pussy soaking like a river. You slack your jaw as you sink down on his cock, trying to ignore the harsh gags when his tip hits the back of your throat. Jungkook growls loudly above you, seeing that the corners of your mouth were dripping in saliva. 

He uses both of his hands to force you deeper. Your eyes start to water when you swallow just half of his big dick, already being too much for you. The harsh and wet gagging sounds were music to Jungkook's ear, loving to see you struggle. “Mhm, fuck yes,” he grunts, “Choke on that big dick.” 

He keeps you down there, feeling sinister as his devilish instincts get the best of him. He ignores your cries and pleads, only focusing on the feeling of the sweet vibrations whenever you moaned around him. Or whenever your throat closes around his shaft when you choked, it was all too good for him. 

You immediately tapped on his thighs furiously when you can't take it anymore, but what did he do? He starts fucking your mouth with sharp thrusts of his hips. You whimper, closing your eyes tight as your nails dig into the skin of his thighs. He grabs you by your head as he uses your poor mouth for pleasure. 

Trying to breathe through your nose, you ignore the burning sensation in your mouth yet it feels too good. “Ahhhh holy fucking shit,” he grunts, feeling your throat tighten, “Look at that – fuck. Bad little girl aren't you? Mhm? You're my bad, naughty girl.” Jungkook mocks, watching the stream of tears drip down your cheeks. 

Finally, he pulled out and there were thick strings of saliva connecting your lips to his cock. He groans loudly, his cock twitching as it lays back on his stomach. 

“Ohh, c'mere baby girl, come here.” Jungkook whispers and pulls your body close to him. You straddle his lap, feeling his cock beneath your folds that made you hiss. He wraps his strong arms around you, his face inches close to yours. You try not to be intimidated by his menacing eyes, but he notices this and clutches your throat with one hand, squeezing it again that made you inhale sharply. Jungkook sees your pout, your lips bruised from your numerous bites, and he chuckles. 

He tugs you until his lips are right upon your ear. “You wanna cum, baby?” 

Your body shivers from how deep and alluring his voice was, although you nod your head. “Please, daddy.” 

“Oh but do you deserve it? Do you even deserve a cock like mine?” 

You hate how frustrated he can make you. You punch your hands down on his chest, whining, “I-I do…” 

Jungkook quirks a brow up, immediately forcing your hands behind your back. He roughly grasps your wrists together with one hand, surely leaving a red bruise. He bites his lip, “You do?” He swiftly lands a spank on your right ass cheek, making you moan. “Then sink down on my cock.” 

With a puff of your breath, Jungkook helps you align his dick to your sopping entrance. You couldn’t breathe properly, anticipating what will happen as soon as you slowly sink yourself on his thick tip. 

“Ohhh daddy!” Your walls stretch out as you take his tip in, making you feel a harsh, stinging sensation as he rips your walls. If it wasn’t with his impressive girth, it probably wouldn’t hurt as much. Jungkook grunts, his cock throbbing from the feeling of your cunt fluttering around him. 

“Fuck yeah,” he watches your pussy take him further, your juices coating his shaft. He tightens his hold on your wrists, slightly bucking his hips up. Jungkook lands another hard, loud spank. 

“Daddy you're so b-big,” you moan, almost halfway down his dick but you can't take more of him anymore. Jungkook gets turned on from the sweet tone of your voice, the thought of tainting such a girl like you made him chuckle. 

Jungkook feeds himself from the idea of corrupting you, letting you know how it feels to truly rebel. Who the fuck cares about what your parents think? Humans are all going to die anyway, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun. 

You start to bounce up and down slowly, your pussy rubbing against him, feeling the thick protruding veins upon your walls. You dig your nails onto your palm, eyes closed shut as you prop yourself up to your feet. 

“That's it, baby. Ride daddy's cock,” he insinuates, watching your face contort in pleasure. With your eyebrows knitted together, eyes shut and mouth wide open, Jungkook’s cock throbs inside of you.

“Look at that fucking face, cant take it?” he snickers. 

“I can, I can,” you pant tirelessly, legs getting sore. Your brows drew deeper as you concentrated on the feeling of his cock hitting your sensitive nerves so good, already so close to an orgasm from how big he is. 

But Jungkook wanted more. He wants it harder, rougher. He wants to shoot his hot cum so hard and deep inside your fresh womb, filling you up. He wants to wreck your body until you break. 

So he releases your hands free and instead grabs a hold of your waist firmly, keeping you still. He plants his feet on the bed and starts to thrust his hips up like crazy. 

Your jaw drops into an ‘o’ shape and you release a particular loud squeal. Your hands hold onto his broad shoulder, throwing your head back as he continues to drill your abused cunt. His balls slap against your ass, creating lewd slapping noises. 

“Dadddyyyyy!” you shriek, eyes expanding so wide from the unexpected bliss of electric currents shooting down your spine. You can't handle it, your orgasm snapping in a quick second. “I'm—!” 

Jungkook groans loudly when your pussy squirts your cum all over his dick and gushes all over his stomach. He fucks you through your mind-blowing orgasm, your eyes rolling back to your head as your legs shake from the unexpecting feeling. Your mind seems to cloud in lust as he doesn’t stop fucking you. 

“Shit,” he laughs, “look at this poor little girl.” Jungkook caresses your ass before he spanks it roughly, emitting a whimper from your mouth, kneading the bruised flesh right after. “Squirting all over daddy. You love my big cock so much, huh? You horny, desperate little slut.” 

Before you can even process what he just said, he flips you over until you lay down flat on your stomach. He hovers on top of you, keeping his dick in without pulling out. You yelp as he wraps his big hand around your throat, tightly squeezing your jugular without mercy. 

“A-ahhh oh—” you choke, letting your forehead down to rest on the sheets as he continues to pound you from behind. 

He had absolutely no mercy, using you as his little fucktoy for his pleasure, abusing your pussy like it was made for his demon cock. He chokes you harder, almost making you see stars. 

Your cunt throbs once again, signalling that another orgasm is coming near. “Ohhhh fuck fuck fuck fuck!” you moan, heavy puffs of breath coming out of your mouth every time he thrusts into you. 

Jungkook feels his nerves getting hotter and hotter, his cock aching to cum. He doesn't think of anything else but the way your walls clench so tightly around him. “Gonna break this motherfucking pussy of yours,” he growls, leaning down until his chest presses against your sweaty back. “I'm gonna fucking paint your walls with my cum, baby. You're gonna take all of it, you're gonna take all of daddy's cum in that tight cunt.”

Your legs squirm, hands closing into fists as you hit the bed over and over from how sensitive you become. Your hands claw the sheets tightly, back arching from the breathtaking pleasure. 

“Ahhhh daddy! Ohh my fucking— ahhh yes, yes yes!” your body crumbles, mouth wide open as you scream while you cum for the second time. Your pussy pulses so harshly around his dick, coating it with your juices, making it more wet for him. 

He groans, removing his hand from your throat and slaps your ass again. “Naughty little shit right here.” It was so messy, just how he likes it. His cum covered in your glistening arousal, fucking you through your high. 

He immediately flips you around again, making you face him. He smirks cockily from your flushed chest and face, noticing that you were having trouble opening your eyes. 

He leans down and rests his forearms beside your head, “Take it baby, take it.” he murmurs roughly, his balls getting heavier. “Take my fucking dick.”

Your legs never seem to stop quivering, everything around you seems blurry besides Jungkook's face. How does he still look so handsome and perfect? His black hair falls down his forehead, swaying with every hard thrust, his deep dimples peeking through when he bites his lower lip slowly while he savors the feeling of your warm, wet pussy. 

“Gonna cum in you baby,” he pants, holding your cheek in one hand. “Daddy’s gonna cum so fuckin’ hard for you.” You notice a dark, sinister forming his lips as he looks down at you. There it was again, that intimidating, almost teasing look. 

He growls roughly, hips staying still inside you as he dips down to gnaw at your shoulder. You hiss, whimpering when he sinks his teeth so harshly into your delicate skin, leaving an ugly mark. “Ah-ahh, daddy!” His cock spurts out warm strings of his seed, filling you up to the brim. 

“Mmm, mmm, fuck yeah,” he moans, “take it, Y/n.” 

When he pulls his cock out, his pupils enlarge as he sees your arousal dripping out of your cunt and onto your bed. He chuckles, stroking his cock a couple of times to milk himself furthermore, not wasting any of his sperm.

The two of you were breathless, breathing heavily. Your legs feel so sore and you can't feel them either, your ass stinging from his numerous rough spanks. 

“Clean yourself up, Y/n.” Jungkook suddenly throws you a wet towel, about to ask him where it came from, although he just stares at you blankly with a quirked brow. 

Gulping, you nod and start wiping yourself clean. 

~

He can't leave now. Not after all of this. 

There was something that attracted yourself to him. You can't seem to grasp what it is – but whenever Jungkook looks at you in the eyes, you feel like submitting. 

It was like your body doesn't belong to you anymore. He possesses your body now. 

“Crawl to me, my love.” He whispers, and you were easily drawn to his beautiful eyes. 

Still naked, you do as you're told and crawl towards the edge of the bed where he stands. He wears his pants, thankfully covering his goods. 

He sighs and softly caresses your cheek with a warm hand, making you flutter your eyes shut whilst leaning against his palm. He hums delightfully, smirking. 

“Surrender.” He purrs, eyes drooping down as he looks at you with such gentleness, almost with care. He leans down until your faces are mere inches away from each other. “Surrender to me, my love. And I’ll take you to somewhere you belong.”

Your eyes shimmer, batting your eyelashes as you gawk up at him with eagerness. “W-Where I belong?” you repeat in question.

“Yes, Y/n.” He smiles, showing you his perfect teeth. “Where no one will judge you, no one will criticize you for you. You can be whoever you want, you can do whatever you want. Isn’t that exciting, baby?”

Mouth getting dry, your nerves heat up once again, feeling nothing but anticipation. “Yes.”

Jungkook holds your face in two hands, compelling you to stare unswervingly at his red eyes. “Submit to me, Y/n, and you’ll never worry about this earth’s dreadful problems.” His voice gravelly yet dark, somehow different to his normal human speaking voice. 

You didn’t know what he really means by ‘submit’, or where he was supposed to take you. But your mind was telling you to go. Your consciousness speaks to you like someone was whispering in your ear what to do. You kneel before him, still keeping eye-contact. The air around the two of your shifts and it suddenly grows warm as your body starts to sweat.

“Where are…” your voice was breathy, “Where are you taking me?”

Jungkook starts to chuckle, brushing your hair back with his fingers. Suddenly, your heart races when he presses a tender, wet kiss on your forehead. Your eyes widen, heart beating out of your chest when he continues to kiss you down to the bridge of your nose, until it stops right upon your lips. He hovers his mouth right against yours, feeling his warm breath.

He whispers the words so ominously that goosebumps appear all over your arms and legs. “I’m gonna take you down to hell.” 

Jungkook watches your face go pale, all the blood leaving your face as you gaze at him with such big, surprised eyes. Without warning, he presses his lips against yours. You can’t keep up with him, his kiss rough and dominating. You whimper when his hand goes to wrap itself around your throat, pulling you closer. His tongue easily slips in your mouth, causing you to gasp. Jungkook smirks through the kiss as he controls the way your mouth moves. The two muscles dance together with such need and passion, hands getting sweaty. 

He bites your bottom lip, chewing on the soft flesh while he gently rolls it against his teeth. Jungkook growls, eyebrows furrowing. He can’t seem to get enough of you, wanting you all for himself. He’s addicted to you; your scent, your beautiful eyes, your body, he doesn’t want to leave this earth without you. 

He needs you down with him. 

Jungkook pulls out as he watches your flushed face, all out of breath. There was nothing else that you could do but whine about the loss of his lips. You were craving more of him. You pout, hoping that he’ll give in but Jungkook just shakes his head with a smirk. 

“Answer me, baby. Go down with me, and I’ll treat you so good.” He insinuates, “I’ll treat you like my own fucking queen. Don’t you want that?” 

You nod your head furiously, “I do want that,” you say softly. 

He clicks his tongue, “Tch, louder.” 

“I want it, please. Bring me with you.” Jungkook watches your pupils dilate, growing bigger as you speak. “Please.” 

Jungkook smiles. And within a flash, the black smoke that was encircling the two of you all this time thickens and starts to wash over the two of you. You cough uncontrollably yet Jungkook just stands there and watches. The smoke fills your lungs until you lose consciousness. 

~

Sounds of the crackling fire fills your eardrums, and your body tries to accommodate the scorching heat of your surroundings. 

Opening your eyes, you see that you’re nowhere in your room, or in the overworld. All that your eyes can see was miles and miles of dark red and black hills, huge torches of fire everywhere, scattered all over the place. There were girls and boys dressed in all black outfits, walking around the place with blank faces, eyes having stripped off of their emotions.

You look down on yourself and thankfully, you were wearing clothes. A tight red dress that hugs your body perfectly, enhancing your curves.

“Y/n.”

A soft voice calls out your name, and you whip around to see Jungkook in his demon form, smiling at you as he sits on his throne. You feel a warm, familiar feeling in your heart as if coming home and going to bed from a long trip. His blazing eyes lead you to a trance.

He beckons you to him for he lifts his right hand out to you. He eyes your body up and down, fixing his posture whilst he runs his tongue along his bottom lip. The way your hips gently sways as you make your way towards him – not losing eye contact – and how your irises burn in desire, it was all that Jungkook asks for.

Your legs move without your permission, leading you up the stone steps to his throne.

His hand was warm when you grasp it, although it was rough and almost hard unlike his human skin, you touch as if there was no difference. You weren’t afraid anymore. Jungkook signals you to sit on his lap, and you gladly obey. With legs on either side of his thigh, you straddle him.

“You’re mine, baby.” Jungkook snarls, “This is your place now.”

“I…” you speak for the first time, “I can’t see my friends and family anymore?”

He shakes his head no with a sly grin.

You exhale, a big smile painting your face. You’ve never felt so content and happy in your entire life.

“Then I love it here.”  

Jungkook makes sure that your angels can’t and won’t look for you anymore. He swears that he’ll protect you in every way possible, promising to shield you from anything that will hurt you. Jungkook looks at your beautiful red eyes, feeling your arms wrap around his neck as you pull him close. 

The last thing anyone should do is trust a devil — and that goes for your foolish angels. 

[mythical-lotus]

Okay everybody, I have finally decided to talk about my patch jacket - My pride and joy, and in theory the longest art project I have ever worked on and continue to work on. I started it in late September of 2020 I believe, And have continued to work on it since

All right here we go nerds

This is the front and back of the jacket all zoomed out. You can zoom in and look at it here, but I'm also going to be showing some closer photos and elaborating on my favorite/most memorable parts

I'll be going through and pointing out either my favorite or things that I think need explaining so you can skip the text if you just want to look but yknow

First Picture:

I noticed that in the very top right corner of this part of the jacket, one of the pins in the photo is a bit obscured and very small, it says "The future is intersectional," with feminine looking hands reaching for each other one with a light skin tone and one with a dark skin tone.

There's also a blue pen, hidden under the collar of the jacket by mistake, that's the Poseidon pin I bought from Overly Sarcastic Productions crowdmade shop (along with the Loki pin and Athena pin next to it). I would highly recommend their history and mythology videos!!

I am a type 1 diabetic, and have been since February 6th of 2012, and hooked onto the button of the pocket is an old emergency contact bracelet of mine.

There's a small tooth sewn into the side of the jacket with dark magenta thread, and I wanted to specify that it is a deer tooth and that it was gotten ethically. One of my friends participates in vulture culture, and she found a few deer teeth in the woods and gifted them to me.

This is slightly lesser known so I thought I'd throw it in, the purple bottle cap pin with the green ribbon on it symbolizes mental health awareness.

Second Picture:

The green and blue patch that looks like a hourglass is a climate change awareness patch - To my knowledge the symbol isn't specifically related to any group, just a general climate change symbol.

The gold circle with a silver triangle is a Vulcan symbol from Star Trek: The Original Series called an IDIC (Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations), that represents protecting and learning about diversity throughout the galaxy.

A very close friend of mine is a trans man and he is not out to his family because they are unfortunately very bigoted, and he has been forced to shave his legs by them and so I made a patch that's just a hairy leg, out of spite. This is somewhat for him but also a more general patch for "don't tell anyone else how they should look."

Third Picture:

This part is pretty full so I'll just do like a rapid fire "What's all this then?"

The "Cabbage" patch was a recommendation from a friend cuz they thought it was funny, the tab sewn onto the side of the collar was found in my garden, the safety pins dangling below it are the rainbow and trans flag respectively although they need repainted, "I Don't Wanna Feel Better" is a reference to a Penelope Scott song (amazing artist btw), bisexual flag with she/her over it, and "God Loves Gays" in honor of my horribly homophobic church.

Fourth Picture:

Ralsei pin of my lovely boi, Ari patch (the name and likeness of my dog), The patch above "Punch Your Local Nazi" is the cover art of Penelope Scott's album "Public Void," I.W.W. Wobblies stands for International Workers Of The World (who were called Wobblies in the early industrial revolution), and the Minecraft blocks at the very bottom are just some of my favorites (Grass Block, Mossy Cobble, Slime, and Enderman).

Fifth Picture:

I live in a very cop heavy area (idk if that's even a term but whatever), So it's not really safe for me to have a obvious ACAB patch, but the dice show the number 1312 when you look at the rightmost face.

Sixth Picture:

The embroidery of the Scales Of Justice on the bottom in purple and teal was commissioned from one of my very close friends (same person I got the tooth from), and I think her deerly for it ;)

Seventh Photo:

Uhh these are all pretty self explanatory, but for literally anything on this jacket, please ask me about it if you want to know because like oh Oh I want to talk so much If you couldn't tell

Eighth Picture:

I call this my healthcare arm, it has my omnipod, which is the device I used to treat my type 1 diabetes, and the patch below it refers to how a lot of times diabetic equipment is treated as a luxury when the different quality of equipment you use can drastically alter how healthy you are. It's like trying to do surgery with a kitchen knife and saying that "it's a luxury" to do surgery with a scalpel.

CURSE YOU TUMBLR PHOTO LIMIT

[lananiscorner]

FE3H route review and thoughts - Crimson Flower

This was the third route I played, and one that I was really looking forward to. I wanted to like this route. Edelgard is the villain of the story and that's great—I can route for villains if they are well-written and well-used (Cersei was one of my favorites in Game of Thrones). Unfortunately, while I appreciate what this route was trying to do in terms of Buddhist symbolism—showing Byleth taking the path of the beast, the path of hatred, greed and ignorance, compared to the other three routes where people have to let go of exactly those vices—I believe the intended message was lost to the Western audience, partially because the narrative was already too subtle about it for someone without a buddhist background, partially because of mistranslations that whitewash Edelgard and demonize the church. Instead, this route came across as one of total tonal dissonance, where everybody just up and forgets that White Clouds ever happened. Flame Emperor who? Blood experiments what? But I am getting ahead of myself. This is my least favorite route by far. Even so, I do have some good to say about it. Rest beneath the cut because it got long:

Things I really liked about this route, in no particular order:

Hubert was unapologetically hammy evil. This man is a treasure. I love him for the same reason I loved Peter Baelish in Game of Thrones—here's a character who would flat-out tell you "oh you misunderstand, distrusting me is the first smart thing you've done since you got here". He simps for Edelgard and is willing to lie, steal, cheat and kill for her. I may not agree with him or his methods, but I can respect his talents and dedication. Easily the most competent and enjoyable character of this route.

Edelgard lied to her closest allies to demonize her enemies. Again, I may not like it, but I can respect the dedication. Say what you want about Edelgard, but she does not back down and that's good.

While fighting Rhea and the Lions was painful, I appreciate that we got two unique maps in Tailtean and Fhirdiad (or is it Firediad?).

Dimitri's and Dedue's alternate death scene was some of the gayest shit ever and I cried. Absolutely superb.

Bernie got out of her room at last! Good for her.

Dorothea and Lysithea having doubts about the Arianrhod lie. Kudos!

Things I didn't like/would have changed:

While changing school class from one professor to the next is not really a big deal, choosing to side with the country who declared war on yours is. Therefore, I believe with the exceptions of Lorenz, Hanneman and Manuela, and the Ashen Wolves*, all recruits should have been automatic defectors post time skip. Those who do actually suffer from the crests they bear or the ideals of nobility should have been recruitable again post time skip if defeated and convinced by Edelgard (Sylvain, Felix, Ingrid, Lysithea, Marianne, Mercedes), everybody else, only if defeated by Byleth (Shamir, Alois, Ashe, Annette, Raphael, Ignatz, Leonie).

Even with this new recruitment, let more characters point out the dissonance between part 1 and 2. Let them ask the heavy questions. For example, Leonie/Lysithea/Alois/Lorenz/Faerghus Four: What about all the kidnapping and murder the Death Knight did under Edelgard's employ? What about Remire? What about Captain Jeralt? Mercedes/Marianne/Ignatz/Annette/Sylvain/Lorenz: How can the goddess be false if Byleth was blessed with her powers? Marianne/Mercedes: How are the archbishop/church supposed to have abused their powers for riches and greed when working for the church specifically includes abstaining from greed and the church supported orphans, rebuilding efforts, sanctuary for stranded enemies etc.? For that matter, just because someone is not human, doesn't mean they are not deserving of life and peace. Leonie/Raphael/Ashe: Curious how the only Black Eagle who wasn't made a general is the self-made commoner. Also, many of us would not be here in the first place if we had had to rise and fall solely by our own merits.

Related to that, let more people doubt the Arianrhod lie. In short: let other characters point out the holes in Edelgard's narrative and let Byleth purposefully ignore them because of their personal attachment to Edelgard.

Change Dimitri's line to Byleth to make it clear for the western audience what he is trying to say here. In EN, he currently says: "Why did you choose to walk this savage, bloody path?" In JP, from what I have seen written by people who actually speak this high-context language, it is clear that he refers to the path of the beast, the Buddhist concept of straying from the path of enlightenment by giving in to the three poisons. Make that clear in the English translation: "Why did you choose to walk this path of ignorance, hatred, and greed? The path of the beast?"

Crimson Flower got done dirty in the cutscene department. At the very least, Dimitri's execution should have had a cutscene (with a gore discretion shot of course), potentially even his alternate death scene. Edelgard’s reunion with Byleth in chapter 13 also should have had one, as well as Byleth’s “death” in chapter 12, because as it currently is, that scene makes zero sense.

Change the choice in the Holy Tomb from a very loaded "I must protect Edelgard./I must kill Edelgard." to "Side with Edelgard./Side with Rhea."

Translation choices that whitewashed Edelgard and demonized the church were a mistake (e.g. leaving out mention of her "information campaign", adding "kind" to her attributes for her desired successor, implying Edelgard's life span was affected by her double crest in her ending with Lysithea, which is literally not stated anywhere else and not what the JP source says, that NPC that went "I embezzled money from the church, because my village was attacked" which had "and the church didn't put in enough to rebuild" tacked on in English, or the commandments of Seiros being changed from "don't hurt others without a good reason" to "don't hurt others unless by command of the goddess").

Have Ferdinand, Linhardt, Caspar, Constance, Hubert or Edelgard mention the other Hresvelg children who died at least once or twice outside of her supports, so they don't feel like badly tacked on backstory, which they currently do. All of these characters are nobles of the Empire and we know that unlike in Faerghus, Empire nobility usually reside in the capital. Ten imperial children dying leaving no impression on any noble in the same city just makes no sense. Unless Edelgard was lying of course (very possible), in which case, we should get a clue about that. For example, change Ferdinand's explore dialogue in chapter 14: Ferdinand: "I have been wondering. If things had gone differently, where would I be now? Who would I be? Do you ever think about that sort of thing, Professor?" Byleth: "1) Like if I had not sided with Edelgard? 2) Like if one of her older siblings had become Emperor instead? 3) No, I don't." Ferdinand, if you pick 2) and she was lying: "Siblings? Edelgard is an only child, professor. Always has been. As son of the prime minister, I would have known if there were older siblings in the line of succession at any point." Ferdinand, if you pick 2) and she was telling the truth: "I... must admit I have not thought of the other Hresvelg children in a long time, but now that you mention it... some of Edelgard's older siblings were very different from her, yes."

Byleth slaying Rhea and Sothis’s crest stone disappearing from her heart should have had clear consequences, instead of the writers trying to have their cake and eat it too. Either let Byleth die (they were stillborn and only managed to live because of the crest stone) or make Sothis's S rank unachievable and make it clear in Byleth's ending that the shining sword she's wielding is Seiros's sword, as seen in their ending with Jeritza, rather than the Sword of the Creator.

Make it so that Nader's dialogue in Edelgard's paralogue changes if Claude died, e.g. "Break through the locket and make them pay!" and when he attacks Edelgard: "On this day, I will make you pay for what you took from us!" Because even if Claude was considered an outsider by many, we do know that Nader cares about him and Nader having no reaction whatsoever to meeting the woman responsible for Claude's death (potentially) makes no sense.

* My reasonings for these exceptions: House Gloucester always sides with the Empire by default, Hanneman and Manuela side with Empire by default if unrecruited, Yuri would stick around to keep Abyss safe, Hapi dislikes the church, Constance needs Edelgard to restore House Nuvelle, Balthus would benefit from Edelgard's intended future and has no other allegiance

[theblackrivergame]

Hey everyone! Today is my beloved @nyehilismwriting ‘s birthday! So I fleshed out a snippet request she made very jokingly one day for her, and she said I could share it with everyone! ^_^

(it’s a post-game-content Vanator wedding snippet, in case you’re curious hehe)(also please go and wish her a happy birthday!)

Most of it is under the cut cos it’s a bit long!

--------

The door at the end of the corridor in front of you is not particularly substantial. It is, however, extremely well-guarded. You’re in one of the former Wolven Empire’s fancier hotels, which at least means that dotted along the length of the cream wood-panelled walls are various urns and statues that you can hide behind. That won’t help you get inside, unfortunately, but it’s a start.

There’s a quiet, almost inaudible whistle from behind you as Enarra also sidles into the alcove that’s currently sheltering you.

“I think she’s gone,” he whispers, and you nod gravely.

If you’re going to get in there, you’re going to have to time this perfectly. You meet his gaze for a few moments, tense but ready. He knows the stakes here. You trust him to keep you safe.

“I’ll watch your back,” he says, clasping your hand in one of his firmly for a second. “Go!”

You don’t need any further encouragement. You set off down the hall as fast as you can feasibly go without your armour clanking; it’s annoying that you’re stuck wearing this overly formal outfit, but you suppose it’s better than having no protection in case things go wrong.

No sign of the guard coming back yet. That’s good.

Once you get within ten metres of the door, you give up on the stealthy approach and break into a dash for the last few steps. You can’t wait anymore! It’s already been too long!

The second your hand touches the doorknob, however, you feel yourself lifted off the ground from behind, a powerful arm wrapping around your waist and hoisting you into the air.

“Come on, Luminita!” you whine, legs flailing helplessly as she carries you away from the door and dumps you back some ways into the corridor. “This is ridiculous!”

“I can’t believe you thought you could fool me,” she snorts, ignoring your pleas. “After all this time, you think I don’t know what you smell like?”

You fold your arms across your chest, sulking. “I had to do something!”

She pauses for a second, giving you something that approximates a fond, if toothy, smile, and then leans around you, calling out to Enarra. “I can smell you, too!”

“That’s a weird thing to just say to people, Damaschin!” he calls back, from his alcove. “I hope you know that!”

She just shrugs, her feet firmly planted on the ground, making it clear that she’s not going to let you past.

Suddenly, you hear Vanator clear his throat behind her, though it’s muffled somewhat by the fact that he’s behind the door still. “Is everything all right out there?”

As Luminita is distracted, you slip by her and dart over to try and open the door – but it doesn’t work. It’s locked, presumably from the inside.

“Come on, let me in,” you plead. “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? This sucks!”

“It’s bad luck for people to see each other on their wedding day before the ceremony,” he replies through the door, but you can tell from the tone of his voice that he’s a little less convinced by this explanation than he was when he and Luminita first brought it up.

Excellent! That means you can wear him down…

“Please, Vanator?” you entreat him, and then grin as you hear him sighing in response.

Luminita, however, also seems to have noticed him wavering, and appears beside you again, growling. “If you even touch that door handle I will eat you both! Neither of you needs any more bad luck!”

“You Wolven are so weird,” Enarra says from somewhere behind you, clanking his way along the corridor.

Luminita gives him an unamused look, though she doesn’t seem offended – probably she’s just generally disappointed in him for going along with your scheme. “Shouldn’t you two be leaving to head to the church?”

“That’s why we’re here,” you tell her, reluctantly letting go of the door. “I wanted to see him before we left.”

There’s a soft thud sound from inside the room that you think might be Vanator hitting his fist against the inside of the door – or maybe his forehead, it’s hard to tell.

“Do not open that door!” Luminita tells him, firmly, and he sighs again.

“I won’t,” he says eventually, though you’re glad he at least sounds like he’s suffering as much as you are. “I’ll see you at the church… it won’t be too much longer.”

“I just need you to know that I hate this,” you tell him, sullenly, and he laughs.

“So do I.”

With that, you direct one more largely toothless glare in Luminita’s direction and turn to leave, though it still really sucks. You don’t think there’s a single Wolven custom you’ve come across that does anything other than make things harder for you.

--------

There were three separate assassination attempts for you to foil on your way to the church, so despite leaving first, you and Enarra ended up arriving somewhat late. You then had to spend about five minutes outside the church trying to get all of the masonry dust off your armour and fixing your hair, extremely glad that you’d all at least known this would be a possibility beforehand.

By the time you get inside, everyone else is already there; it’s a relatively small crowd (for security reasons), so you can pick out your friends among the group fairly easily. Ia is there in the front row, wearing what looks like about half a suit, and Dassine, who looks as regal as anyone you’ve ever seen in her new High Judicar armour, is one row back alongside Annos and a very confused-seeming Omilitís.

Kebisa, who is officiating, is dressed in a gorgeous purple gown and silver ceremonial cape, while Luminita has changed into a sharply-cut scarlet dress uniform, but your eyes inevitably get drawn towards Vanator and become stuck there.

He’s still dressed mostly in black (of course), but you actually don’t think you’ve seen this particular tailored coat that he’s wearing before. The edges on it are so crisp that you wonder if maybe he had it pressed using magic somehow – it feels very at odds with your “the blood probably isn’t too visible against my dark outfit” armoured visage.

He doesn’t seem to mind, though… in fact that’s mostly why you can’t seem to look away from him. He’s just… staring at you. You think that maybe seeing you walk into the church has made the weight of the whole thing you’re both about to do really hit him, and then while you’re thinking that it seems to hit you as well, and suddenly you’re both just staring at each other, dumbstruck.

Enarra elbows you in the midriff sharply, bringing you back to reality. The look on Ia’s face tells you that neither you nor Vanator will probably ever live this down, so you keep your eyes fixed firmly on the altar and just concentrate on walking.

By the time you’ve reached the altar, he’s still staring at you – he’s making that unbearably soft expression he always makes when he has a thousand things he wants to say but can’t find the words. You take a deep breath, wondering if you’re going to make it any decent amount of time into the ceremony before making a fool of yourself again, and nod at Kebisa, who is standing between the two of you looking like she has to try very hard to maintain a stately demeanour and not just hug you both.

She’s just opened her mouth to speak when suddenly Luminita punches Vanator.

It’s not hard, at least not by Luminita’s standards, but it’s enough to knock him forward and send him stumbling into you. There’s a bunch of titters from the crowd; you exchange a look with him as you help him up wondering whether this is another Wolven wedding tradition, but he seems just as surprised as you, and in some amount of pain as well.

“Oh, are we skipping to the objections part already?” Ia interjects before anyone can ask what’s going on, standing up from their seat and pulling something out of their waistcoat pocket that looks like a list. “Because if that’s the case, I’d like to-”

“Shut up!” you hiss at them, desperately trying to keep the whole thing from getting further off the rails.

Your only reward for your efforts is a dramatic smirk; behind them, Annos bursts out laughing.

“What was that for?” Vanator demands, turning to Luminita, who looks affronted by his question.

“You said to punch you if you looked like you were about to start crying!”

“I didn’t mean in the face!” he counters, still cradling his jaw.

Kebisa covers her face with her hands in an unsuccessful attempt to muffle her giggling.

“Gods,” Enarra groans, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. “Can we just get this over with? This dress armour is killing me.”

It’s at this point in the proceedings that the doors into the church are blown off by an explosion.

It doesn’t stop the wedding, of course – your vows are shouted over the cacophony of the ensuing gunfight, and the signing of the marriage register an hour later once everything has calmed down is a suitably dignified moment spoiled only slightly by the fact that Luminita is covered in blood (not hers) and her dress uniform has been shredded into ribbons. All in all, it’s one of the less exciting afternoons that you and Vanator have spent together.

It’s everything you had expected it to be, and yet somehow also more.

[drabbles-mc]

Burnt

Kozik x OFC (Tawnie Trager)

Inspired by Day 16 of the July Prompts: sunscreen

Part 2 can be found Here

Warnings: language

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Me? Back at it again with another slice of life fic? It’s more likely than you think! In my head this takes place on the same day as my other SOA Beach Day fic Say Cheese but the stories exist separately from one another. Also, if you’re interested in this pairing you can check out these fics: X X

SOA Taglist: @garbinge​ @masterlistforimagines​ @adela-topaz-caelon​ @chibsytelford​ @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ @i-just-read-stuff​ @jitterbugs927​ @kkim120​ @toni9​ @unicornucopia-fuckers​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @punkgoddess-98​ @paintballkid711​ @black-repunzel99​ @lexondeck​ @mrsstevenbuchananstark​ (If you want to be added just let me know!)

“Dad,” she aggressively shoved the bottle of sunscreen into his hand, “Dad just put it on.”

“No,” Tig tossed it over onto the towel, “I’m not putting that on. I don’t need it. I’ll be fine.”

Rolling her eyes, she picked the bottle back up. She squeezed a generous amount onto her hand and then proceeded to slap it onto his chest, “You’re tough but you’re not tougher than the fucking sun. Get over yourself.”

He groaned as he looked down at the mess of lotion that was on him now, “You fucking kidding me, T?”

“Nope,” she shook her head as she rubbed some into her own arms and legs.

Once she was done, she looked around to see who else was close. She loved all the boys in the club, but she would be the first to tell them all when they were being idiots. She was adamant about the whole sunscreen thing ever since they all decided to do a beach day together. The guys had given her shit about it at first, wondering when she became so concerned with those kinds of things, but when it came down to it the last thing they wanted was the pain that came from serious sunburn. So, most of them silently put some on, refusing to make eye contact with each other and acknowledge the situation.

“Kozik!” she called over to the man who was laying out towels for each of them.

His head whipped up, instantly looking over at her, “Yea?”

“You got some on?” she waved the bottle in his direction.

“Let him get burned,” Tig mumbled under his breath as he wiped away the last of the lotion that his daughter had caught him with.

Tawnie ignored the comment, shaking her head slightly as she waited for Kozik’s answer. He made his way over to her, reassuring her that, yes, he had put some on the second they got to the beach. He knew that there was no way she was going to let him get away with anything else, and she was the last person that he wanted to be pissing off.

“Can you get my back?” she asked as she handed him the bottle, pulling her hair out of the way.

“Um,” he could feel Tig’s eyes boring into him, “sure.”

Kozik silently prayed to whatever gods there were that Tig wasn’t going to pick him up and drown him in the ocean. He tried to focus on the task at hand, but he also wondered if that would make things worse. And she must’ve sense the tension, too, because she glanced back over her shoulder and looked at her father, eyebrows raised.

“You want him to get your back too, Dad?” she asked.

Kozik’s entire body froze up as he waited for the fallout. Surprisingly enough, Tig just sighed and shook his head before turning and walking down towards the water, “Those hands go below her shoulders and you’re a fucking dead man, Kozik.”

She chuckled quietly as he finished applying the sunscreen, “He’s full of it. You know that, right?”

“You sound pretty confident but I’m not so sure,” he chuckled as he closed the bottle and tossed it back into her bag.

“If he was going to kill you, he totally would have done it already.”

“That’s…that’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

She laughed as she pressed her palms flat against his chest and pressed a light kiss to his lips, “Just relax. Who knows when we’re going to be able to all have a fun day together.”

“And what are you going to spend your fun day doing? Besides assaulting people with sunblock?”

She gave him a playful shove, “Shut up. I’m gonna go fucking swimming, duh. I haven’t been to the beach in ages,” she paused, tilting her head slightly, “What’re you gonna do?”

“Watch you swim,” a smirk crept across his face.

She couldn’t stop herself from laughing. It’d been an interesting, and slightly bumpy, road for the two of them to get to where they were at now. But she was happy about it, about him. And despite the constant pushback from her father, there was a certain type of ease and comfort that came from being with him. She knew that she wouldn’t have ever been able to be with someone who didn’t understand the type of life she lived, and no one understood it better than a man who was actually SAMCRO. But as she stood there looking at him, smiling with a few streaks of sunscreen still on his cheeks, he was more than just a guy from the MC. She never knew what it felt like to date someone who was your best friend until then.

She snapped herself out of her sappy thoughts with a shake of her head, “Don’t let my dad catch you leering.”

“I thought you said he was full of it?”

“I mean,” she laughed as she skipped off towards the water, “nothing is a hundred percent.”

He shook his head and watched her as she took off to go swim and cause whatever kinds of trouble she could manage to stir up along the way. Being with a Trager was a lot of things, but it was certainly never boring.

The afternoon sun was beating down on all of them. Most of them had found their way back to their chairs and towels and started digging into the food and drinks that they had brought with them. Tawnie was camped out on her towel, watching the volleyball game that was happening. Her father and Opie were pitted against Jax and Kozik, and to all of their credit it was shaping up to be a pretty competitive game. But she did notice the fact that Tig’s shoulders were getting redder and redder as the minutes went by—clearly he hadn’t put any extra sunscreen on except what she had forced on him. She shook her head silently, a smug smile creeping across her face. He’d have to learn the hard way, the way that he did with most things.

“Game point!” she called out before taking a sip of her beer.

“Better win this one for your girl, Kozik,” Jax quipped with a laugh.

She chuckled but she could see it on her father’s face that he was not at all amused by the comment. He dove, saving the ball from hitting the sand. There was now a new level of determination and desire to win. He never wanted Kozik to win at anything, but now there was an extra layer on top of it all.

The four of them were going back and forth for a while. Tawnie sat back, unable to hide the fact that she was incredibly impressed by them. Her eyes went wide when she saw Kozik jump up, spiking the ball down onto the other side of the net with an incredible amount of force. She couldn’t contain her laughter as she started clapping.

“Way to bring it home!” she beamed over at him.

“Lucky shot,” Tig said, already shaking his head.

Despite the tension that had been present during the game, once it was over everything went back to business as usual, which Tawnie was incredibly thankful for.

Tig was walking ahead, talking to Jax and Opie while she hung back with Kozik. She slipped her hand into his as they walked, smiles on both of their faces.

“You think it’s alright that I didn’t let him win?” he asked with a smirk.

She laughed, nodding, “It’s good for him. I’m thinking of it as karma for not using sunblock.”

“I think the blisters that are gonna be on his shoulders tomorrow will be karma enough.”

“Maybe,” she laughed, leaning against his side.

He glanced down at her, admiring her still-damp hair and the little patches of sand that were still stuck to parts of her stomach and arms. She looked so at home at the beach, and he had never felt more at home than when he felt her pressed up against his side.

“We should do this shit more often,” he said as they walked along the shore, waves lapping at their feet.

“Yea, well,” she chuckled, “When you guys take a break from your life of crime, we can do big family beach days whenever you want.”

“I’ll bring it up in church next time.”

She laughed, “Well,” she lifted their interlocked hands and kissed his knuckles, “you gotta let me know how that conversation goes.”

“If I live through it, you’ll be the first to know,” he smiled as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

The sound of Tig’s voice cut through the softness of their moment, “Hey! I said no hands below the shoulders!”

[kmclaude]

HAPPY WEED/COLUMBINE/HITLER DAY KLAUDE! *shotgunning a Red Bull in the work parking lot*

OKAY I have questions, feel free to elaborate as much or as little as you see fit:

What’s Jehan’s music taste like?

What’s Tiefer’s best memory?

Does Anne-Marie have any regrets?

What was the beginning of Carina and Emeiln’s relationship like? (God I’m so sorry if I spelled anything wrong)

What was school like for Tiefer and Anne?

Did Agnes want more children? Did Nathan?

Was there ever a time in Tiefer’s priesthood where he felt he was actually doing good and helping others? Did he even like that feeling?

HAPPY WEED DAY

ok uhhhh

What’s Jehan’s music taste like?

I associate the first Mumford & Sons album and Alice Cooper with him solely because that's the most fitting to him stuff on my old playlist for him.

That said, I think likely rock, acid rock, and folk stuff. Janis Joplin, Alice Cooper, Donovan. ...OK so basically get in a car, find the Classic Rock station on the radio, there. He's a basic bitch.

He'd probably like the record I just got by the band Psychedelic Witchcraft -- that flavor.

What’s Tiefer’s best memory?

Hmm...he has so few~ LOL uh...

Well one definitely involves Nathan. Probably the first time they fucked kissed as teens?

Probably high up there is the first night he lived on his own, away from Anne (now deceased), and realized he didn't have to be a bundle of nerves, waiting for something to go to shit.

Does Anne-Marie have any regrets?

Not using a condom :) Actually she probably has a lot but if she thinks about it she'll get depressed and that's not fun for her (or anyone who crosses her path when she's in A Mood)

What was the beginning of Carina and Emeiln’s relationship like? (God I’m so sorry if I spelled anything wrong)

Carina and Émile's relationship...definitely started hot. Very infatuated. Their relationship in general is very hot/cold:

What was school like for Tiefer and Anne?

Anne dropped out (for obvious reasons.) She honestly was probably rather good at it -- or would have been if she wasn't constantly bored by it and skipping class.

Tiefer was not great at school, though ironically he winds up in school the longest with a master's. He picked fights. He didn't care -- didn't see a lot of a reason to care when young. Started straightening out a bit, but still hard to care much. Serving in church helped straighten him out more by giving him something to a) occupy his time and hands and mind that b) he was good at (and genuinely praised for) and c) put him on a potential career track that wasn't like 'fisherman' or 'shitty job in a shitty town' or 'hooker' or 'you need to be super smart to GTFO from here'.

Anyway for both probably very a 1 or 2 room schoolhouse type situation.

Did Agnes want more children? Did Nathan?

Yes and ehhhhh, open to it. Getting two was like pulling teeth so even if Nathan was around they wouldn't have tried for a third,

Was there ever a time in Tiefer’s priesthood where he felt he was actually doing good and helping others? Did he even like that feeling?

Oh yeah.

He definitely felt it when he first returned and was the priest with an aging Fr. Michaud -- the unspoken part of his job being 'help care for him'. For Tiefer that was definitely a chance to repay a debt of sorts -- Michaud helped him GTFO and get into seminary. And it did good. And it felt good to be able to more or less pay back something that changed his life.

I'd say also the hard moments nobody likes -- the sicknesses, the deaths -- it's thankless and he's often the convenient intermediary between family and the death industry, if even used at all (else it's OK here's a wake, here's a box, let's dig a grave on the church grounds and well who do you think has a hand in that?) -- that makes him feel he's helping because people don't like those moments, can barely stomach them, but it comes fairly easy to him.

[indigowallbreaker]

(left picrew link) (right picrew link)

Meet my Three Houses OC! Both picrews are their pre-skip design-- I just wanted to show the two sides of them. Neither one captured them just right so I felt it best to show both. Thank you @sevarix-writes for the encouragement to share my OC!!!

[Things accurate about Left pic: Hair color, freckles, good example of fighting outfit. 

Things accurate about Right pic: Hair style, eye gradient, shows better ‘day off’ look/activity]

Name: Elke von Bayern [El-Kehy von Bay-Earn]

They/Them

Born 16th of Garland Moon (July 16th)* 

18-19 (pre-skip)

Initial Info:

Starting House: Golden Deer**

Starting Class: Noble

Starting ‘Closest Allies’: Ignatz, Leonie

Combat Details:

Strengths: Lance, Reason Magic; hidden talent in Sword

Weaknesses: Riding, Flying

Personal Ability: Crowd Pleaser: “Allies within two spaces gain Def +2″ 

Supports:

Claude A

Hilda B

Lorenz B+

Raphael B+

Ignatz A

Lysithea B

Leonie A (Platonic)

Marianne A

Sylvain A

Ashe A (Platonic)

Annette B

Edelgard B+

Hubert B+

Ferdinand A (Platonic)

Dorothea A+

Petra B

Alois B

Flayn B+

Interests: Baking, talking

Likes: Fairy tales, sweets, thunderstorms, swimming, travel

Dislikes: The past, hunting, fishing, needlework, the Church

Background:

From a dying noble house in the Leicester Alliance

Family would like them to make connections in Garreg Mach to help family stay relevant, such as endearing the family to a noble/future leader; or gain strength and skills to distinguish themselves in battle

Elke would like nothing more than to leave that to someone else and travel Fódlan, with dreams of opening a bakery somewhere far from home so they can spread Alliance cuisine to more people, with particular concentration on their baked goods

Family consists of their Mother, younger Brother, Grandmother, Uncle, and Aunt

Has fond memories of their Grandfather, who died shortly before family started losing power

General Information:

First kill dialogue is a shocked expression and “...”

Is very willing to be Dancer for White Heron Cup. States, somewhat begrudgingly, that winning might make them stand out more on the battlefield, thus improving their family name.

After Jeralt is killed, they will tell Byleth that they never know what to say in situations like this but assures Byleth that if Byleth ever wants to let off steam or have tea together sometimes, then Elke will be there.

Very uncomfortable going into the Holy Tomb for the ‘revelation’, as they dislike what the Church does in the Goddess’ name and has mixed feelings on the Goddess herself

* Fun fact! This is the date Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade came out in the US!

**Can be recruited to Black Eagles but will leave if Byleth sides with Church; Not available for Blue Lions recruitment. Need C in Sword and 15 in Speed to recruit.