#Two Kings ao3

[baconcolacan]

Why does RTord think he can pull of long hair??!!?!!!!😭😭😭😭😭

Really out here doing his best to make the ‘rat man’ stick (I NEED the other Tords to sit him down and READ him)

Who invited this loser

[reddje]

[randomsufff]

HEHAHBFKI More South Park doodles I think I’m going insane.

Actually this is kind of the product of me being liking South Park way back in high school but was too embarrassed to draw them when I was bored in class and now it’s all kinda flooding back 💀

Read below if you want to know more about my New Kid and my thoughts behind some of the doodles cause this turned out longer then I though 💀

Anyways- introducing my New Kid. No name cause I literally have no idea. Whatever the cannon name is ig- though I’d think it’d be funny if she was referred to New Kid by literally everyone like in game. I like the idea that a lot of people have with their New Kids that they liked the makeover section with the girls during the Stick of Truth a little too much. I also like it cause… uh… I didn’t play Stick of Truth. (The combat system is not my cup of tea) So it’s not until the start of TFBW does she know shes really a girl.

To give context to the top right drawing- I couldn’t remember the dialogue Wendy says in the alleyway if you say you’re a trans girl- but I do know what she says if your a cis girl (I always knew you were a girl) cause I did a second play through as a cis girl. And I don’t know if there’s supposed to be a huge time jump between the end of Stick of Truth and TFBW but I think it would be funny if it was just the next day- so combine these two fact to get “Wendy always clocked New Kid as a girl but NK just found out yesterday 💀”

Anyways- she’s such a cutie, I love her and her cool superhero outfit I gave her. Outside of the game- I’d like to think of her basically exactly how she acts in game. Mostly non-verbal, with the occasional zingy one liner, and just kinda goes along with the crazy shit the happens in South Park un phased. Like if she was in a episode- the plot would happen and she would be on screen, but wouldn’t say anything, and anytime another character would address her, they’d respond however as if she spoke lmao. Aroace, just like me, so she’s just friends with everyone (except Cartman) and vibes with everyone.

The mini Style comic I though of cause 1) I wondered if Kyle had the same elf ears as the other elfs did in game (again, never played and it’s been a while since I saw gameplay so whoops if it’s confirmed or whatever) and 2) I thought it would be funny if Stan was caught lacking and tried to /rp his way out of it (I wanted to add an extra bit where Kyle would be like “Oh, are our characters gay for each other??? (ARE YOU /SRS OR /J STAN)” and Stan would have to just “yes, and” his way out.)

The last three images were kinda of a stream of consciousness put on paper and made neat lol. I really like showing that all the costumes the kids wear are homemade and stuff- either stuff taken from their parents or visibly taped together etc- cause I think it’s charming. Anyways- I though Kyle’s little robe could be like one of his parents bath robe- and it would be a little too long for him to run without eating shit so he’d have to hike it up like a skirt/dress. Which lead to me thinking that Cartman would say some shit about that and how Kyle, who has a literal Golf Club, would smack his ass up. Which then lead to me thinking about how since Kyle’s the Elf King and Stan’s basically his right hand how he might lift it up wedding dress style if needed (/RP GUYS, RIGHT?RIGHT???) and how Cartman would react, which lead to that one JoJo meme cause thats literally how they’d retaliate.

Always- I’ll probably have at least one more post about South Park I swear. There was a period of time before I stopped watching (I gotta pick it up again) where I would doodle a bit of whatever was happening in the episode, each episode. Crazy I know, but not only did it improve my drawing skills but it helped me remember what actually happened in episodes cause I have shit memory and definitely don’t remember some of the episodes I watched. So I might redraw some of those- see if anyone can tell what episode they’re from.

[regulusrules]

The mental image of the round table knights gathering around arthur with knives just like in julius caesar is so fucking insane nothing makes it worse except for merlin being the one to stab arthur

[melodywritesstuff]

Nothing more than a relic (The Shepherd King Missing Scene)

There isn't nearly enough content for this fandom, so here's my humble offering. Hope you enjoy this brief missing scene set at the end of Two Twisted Crowns (spoilers ahead!).

(Ao3 link above, but it's so short I thought I'd put it here as well)

Summary: Elm and Ravyn destroy the final Scythe card.

Words: 640

---

Elm tried to ignore the way the stairs to the palace vault felt all too like the confines of the dungeons. The same cold stone and stale, underground air pressed in on him. The cold tore at him, though it was hardly frigid here with torches casting a warm light along the walls. Elm fixed his gaze straight ahead, the way he always did in the throne room. He focused on the sound of Ravyn’s steps behind him.

At the vault doors, he pulled out the keyring he had begun carrying and opened the locks. The box where the king had held his Providence Cards was exactly as Elm had left it, untouched since his last visit, but for one addition.

His father’s Scythe sat on the top of the stack. Drops of dried blood marred one edge, barely discernable against the red velvet, and Elm knew it was his own. He picked up the card and for a moment, its familiar feel was almost comforting. He twirled it between his fingers.

"You destroyed Hauth's Scythe," he said to Ravyn without looking up. "And mine was used to unite the deck. If Brutus Rowan's was destroyed-"

"This is the last one." Ravyn finished his train of thought.

Elm wavered for a moment, then held out the card.

"I want you to destroy it," he said.

Ravyn didn't move to take the card. His brow creased.

"Are you sure?" he asked, and Elm hesitated.

For so long, the Scythe had been his shield, his crutch. His protection from Hauth and from the world. It had been his armor, but also his prison: the fear of what Hauth could do to him- could make him do.

The reason for an education in pain.

Elm remembered lying in the road, in agony, praying he had held on long enough as the card took its toll.

The far greater pain of standing immobilized, utterly helpless, as Hauth drove a dagger into Ione's heart.

"I'm sure," he said firmly. “I refuse to be another Rowan to rule Blunder with fear.”

Ravyn took the card and, as easily as if it were a simple piece of parchment, tore it in two. He handed the pieces back to Elm.

Elm thought for a moment of putting the halves back in the box, or even of burning them. Instead he tucked them into his pocket; nothing more, now, than a relic- a reminder of a life past.

He closed the box, leaving the remaining cards, and turned towards the door.

Ravyn was looking at him thoughtfully.

"You're a different man than you were when I left, Elm," he said. "Confidence suits you."

"And happiness suits you," Elm replied. "It's nice to see the way you smile when you look at her. Who would have guessed that Ravyn Yew, fearsome Captain of the Destriers, was a romantic."

Color rose in Ravyn's cheeks, but his lips twitched into a sheepish smile, and Elm laughed.

"Trees, even thinking about her makes you blush," he teased. Ravyn gave him a playful shove.

"I could say the same about you," he said, and it was Elm's turn to grin.

"I suppose we're both love-struck fools," he conceded.

“Fools who have a banquet to attend,” Ravyn nodded gravely, throwing his arm around Elm’s shoulders. “I’m sure people are waiting to speak with their king.”

Elm groaned.

“Perhaps I could stay down here, say I lost track of time…”

Once, he would have done it without hesitation- to spite his father or simply because he wanted to- but they both knew that that Elm was gone. He was king now, and he had every intention of doing the job well. And of course, Elm thought as he followed Ravyn up the narrow stairs, the pageantry was infinitely more bearable with his family at his side.

---

->Everything belongs to Rachel Gillig, this is just for fun! :)

[escespace]

Merlin and Arthur but:

All is well, Camelot is great, peace, harmony, magic is allowed, the birds sing...

Then Merlin, in a moment of excitement, either because he can no longer contain his emotions or perhaps everything has been so good that he cannot imagine the worst that can happen, decides to take a leap of faith. After all, he took a risk with his magic and Arthur accepted it; perhaps he should finish revealing all his secrets in the same way.

Anyway, A day like any other after unbearable council sessions and endless document review and reorganisation of patrols. As they close the day with a warm dinner and the silence of the night, Arthur receives a handkerchief from Merlin's hands itself.

It's clean, Woodsy scent, and neatly folded. It's not one Merlin has ever used (not that Arthur would notice those details). And the only thing Arthur could think of to answer after looking at Merlin as if he had fish coming out of his ears was:

«So... Okay, yeah... I'll give it to George when I see him in the morning. I also noticed that his is a little faded»

Merlin does not correct him out of shame.

The next day, although in his new position Merlin no longer accompanies the training sessions so often, he appears when usually end to give Arthur the water and some sweets that he get from the market.

«This is great, Merlin» Arthur said as he took the bag «It's about time you put your head to work. The knights will appreciate it when they can't stand up. I plan to get them fit as I haven't had time to keep them un check recently, you get me, right?»

Merlin didn't correct him that time either.

After a few days and much thought, I wait until the end of a meeting with some leaders of magical communities who still cannot sympathize with Arthur. The meeting was not good, they still distrust the crown and that puts the king under pressure so when only the two of them remained, the tension didn't help.

«What is this?» Arthur shook the object in his hand back and forth in disbelief.

«a book»

«a book... A book, Merlin? A Magic book... Are you kidding me with this, really?! Isn't the mess we just made with this enough for you, you want to make fun of it too?!»

«Arthur, I'm not...»

«"You idiot! I really should have taught you some manners before»

«but...»

«You better get out of here before I... Ugh! AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU IN WHAT REMAINS OF THE DAY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?»

And of course, he had to throw the book, didn't he? Fortunately, it hit the door as soon as Merlin closed it behind him.

The feeling of not being able to breathe, even if he was physically breathing perfectly, and the discomfort in his nose that made him blink more than what is normal accompanied him until he reached the forest, right at the point where I used to collect herbs. And as her cheeks became wet (strange, he would definitely have to tell Gaius if the symptoms that suddenly attacked her got worse... No, no, it can't get worse, he's fine).

«Hey, Merls, I saw you walking here alone, you shouldn't be wandering around alone... Merls?»

In the royal chambers, Arthur is now a little calmer, his mind clear, and he even started reading the book Merlin brought him. Surprise! It seems he might get a couple of good ideas out of it. Traditional offerings and ceremonies of friendship. He will then tell Merlin that the book is useful... Or he will point it out indirectly... Or he will pat him on the shoulder... Something like that.

But it is Arthur we are talking about, he cannot stand the noise of his own thoughts for long, much less the silence of his bedroom, so he sends for Merlin with a guard.Instead, they bring Gwen, who seems to be the only one who was able to point out where Merlin had gone and since the guards are chickens, they preferred to let her talk to the king.

«He is not immediately available Arthur, it seems he went to pick herbs» She explains after a polite but warm exchange.

«That hasn't been one of his tasks for a long time»

«He isn't tour manservant either and so his chores may keep him away at times when you suddenly want his company»

«It's nothing like that! I am his king, he is a court sorcerer. We have matters of great priority to discuss»

«Maybe. But he didn't look good and he needs his time right now»

«Has something happened?»

«I don't know, Arthur, something happened between you two?»

Look, I won't go into details about the feelings between Arthur and Gwen because this isn't about that (and my own opinion is extensive too) but in this fic things didn't evolve between them, But everything remains friendly and as much as Arthur values having honest and assertive people on his council, Arthur made it very clear that Gwen would always have the right to treat him first as friend. However, because of Gwen's character and political wisdom she has always been careful with her words, so it is a shock that she calls him by his name when she hasn't done so for so long.

They talk a little about how things went wrong at the meeting with the new magical community and what may or may not have been a little hasty with their reactions to something Merlin did

«What did he do?»

With a bit of a struggle he tells him that Merlin bought him a book related to magic. And once that comes out of his mouth he realizes how much of an idiot he is because his behavior was out of line and he just wanted an excuse to let out his bad temper.

«It's my fault, I know. I let my pride get the better of me and Merlin ended up unfairly on the receiving end. I felt unfit, but it was something against myself»

«You will have to make amends. It's not the first time, Arthur, and once you realize your mistakes the only thing left is to correct them»

«I thought I had grown up a long time ago... It seems not»

«We all have flaws. It's not something we get rid of when we reach a certain age or realization»

A bit more chatter and finally Arthur mention something interesting

«...And it's not even the first one recently...»

«What are you talking about?»

«I don't know, I thought you would know more with all the gossip you two do. He's been so thoughtful lately, not that he isn't always, but he gives gifts here and there, he gave candy to replenish the gentlemen's energy when I take them a little further. And George a new neckerchief, can you believe it? Not that he had the courage to give it to him himself, he forced me to do it, as the girl he is. I don't imagine he gave you»

«Arthur, Why wouldn't he give George a gift himself? The candy... He also gave it through you?»

«Yes, why...»

«You know, Arthur, we gain nothing but honor from being on your council... It helps us to have that prestige to get more work, me in the forge and Merlin with the patients. Don't you find that strange now he's so giving then?»

«It's Merlin, I didn't question anything around him»

«Agh! Arthur, a favor, sweets, and then gift specifically thinking of you, something you ended up needing...»

«wha... Wait... No»

«yes»

«but...I- I have to find him»

«no!»

«yes!»

He passed her before she could delay him and thought he heard her say something about Gwaine going after Merlin but he didn't have time to waste wondering what one thing had to do with the other.After all, perhaps it would be better if he found them sooner rather than later or else they would end up dragging them out of a tavern, right?

He knew quickly where Merlin would be, it was common knowledge that even when he no longer had to go out to gather herbs himself, that place was special to him.

He arrived in time to see from a distance something that left him stuck in place.

Merlin on the floor, sitting, red face and bulging eyes but smiling at Gwaine's foolery. Gwaine, for his part, is perhaps too close to Merlin. It is a distance that is common between that pair, but surrounded by nature, one kneeling in front of the other, eye contact; one hand on Merlin's knee and the other... PASSING A FLOWER ACROSS MERLIN'S FACE?!

The burning sensation that rises through his sternum is not like a bad digestion, it is worse, it makes him almost tremble. It doesn't help that your eyes are starting to hurt, is it because of the poor lighting at that time of day?

Oh My oh My, he can't fool himself, not anymore, no never again...

«He can't even see me like that, you know? That's why he doesn't notice it»

«I noticed it, Merlin, I always notice you»

Their faces too close to each other, Arthur is brave for many things but not for that, he wouldn't do that to himself, he wouldn't see it.

And as he walked away, back to the castle, he thought that he might as well be leaving his heart on the ground where he had been paralyzed, for he could no feel more than emptiness in his chest

[wind-in-the-sky]

Looking for a fic i forgot the name of again!

It's a Boromir lives au on AO3 (pretty sure, either that or ffn.net) where he gets injured in Moria, then falls down with Gandalf when he gets hit by the balrog. He then somehow floats down the entwash into Fangorn forest and is rescued, though I forget where it goes from there. Really wanted to read it again, but realised I hadn't bookmarked it.

[sixofprose]

Shepherd Fic update

WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS. I hated what I first wrote and had to take a break from it. But I came back to it today and put it through a major rehaul. Final chapter coming soon...

[tozierlvr]

i updated my fic afraid of heights!

chapter 3/6

current word count is 24k

this is the sequel to my reddie college au fic where eddie and richie have forgotten each other already, but randomly meet at college.

now they're coming back to derry after mike calls them in 2016.

[itsamenickname]

To the Bowuigi fans who are suffering from Ao3 withdraw (including myself):

I present you with this very long post (that I will break down into 3-4 different posts) I have luckily kept in my computer files that I hope will ease you in these hard times.

Enjoy. :)

To Break the Bonds Within Two Kingdoms

**********

Chapter 1

For as long as he could remember, King Boo wanted to become the greatest villain the Mushroom Kingdom has ever seen. From the heroes dying right in front of him to the damsel pleading for their very life, King Boo fantasized hundreds and thousands of plans all with the same end goal of him becoming the new king of the Mushroom Kingdom. So naturally, when King Boo was given an opportunity to defeat Mario, the said hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, at Isle Delfino, he was ecstatic. This, he thought, was the first step in conquering the Mushroom Kingdom and possibly the entire world. If King Boo could defeat Mario, nothing could stop him from achieving his life-long dream.

Except Mario did stop him.

Now yes, King Boo was frustrated at his and Bowser’s ultimate loss, but the ghost king knew that he would be given a second opportunity to defeat Mario. He just needed a new and different angle to work with, but what new angle would allow him to have the advantage over that annoying red plumber?

The answer to that question was Luigi.

After his defeat at Isle Delfino, King Boo was informed that Mario had a younger twin brother named Luigi. This new piece of information allowed King Boo to come up with a new perfect plan that would surely stop Mario once and for all. All the ghost king had to do was kidnap Luigi and Mario would come crawling on his knees and beg him to spare his little brother’s life. Surely, nothing would go wrong with that plan, right?

Wrong. That so-called “perfect” plan backfired on King Boo.

Three times.

To say King Boo was angry after his third defeat is an understatement.

While his hotel plan ended in a total disaster, the one good thing that came out of it was that Luigi didn’t capture all 16 Boos with that Poltergust he hated so very much. King Boo was grateful that the uncaught Boos were loyal enough to distract the professor long enough for him to break out of the canister.  

But the ghost king knew that it wouldn’t matter in the long run.

As long as Luigi and Professor E. Gadd were around, King Boo knew it would only be a matter of time before he would get captured and be put back in that infuriating prison again. 

And that thought alone fueled him with nothing but anger.

“ARGGH!”

In a fit of rage, King Boo threw his crown at a nearby mirror. As his anger slowly started to simmer back down, he realized that he was essentially powerless without his crown, so he quickly placed his crown back on his head before staring at his reflection in the now-broken mirror.

He hated, no, loathed, Luigi. If King Boo ever saw his face again, he would make sure that scaredy-cat plumber wished he didn’t defeat him in that first mansion all those years ago. If only he had a new angle to work with, he could-

“Um, Sir?”

King Boo swiftly turned around to see a Boo watching him with a worrisome expressions. Boos who served under King Boo for a long time were used to seeing him frustrated and angry, so the fact that this Boo seemed nervous to be anywhere near him told King Boo that he was one of the Boos they recently recruited.

At least that small piece of information reassured King Boo that he could still fear into the young Boo.

“What reason do you have to interrupt me?!” King Boo shouted. He was fuming with rage and he felt that he had every right to be. This Boo interrupted his loathing of Luigi and he should’ve known better than to barged into the room like this.

The Boo nervously gulped before speaking.

“I-I think y-you should see this,” the Boo stammered while holding out an object with a shaky hand.

It took King Boo a moment to realize that the Boo was holding out a newspaper. He yanked the newspaper right out of the young Boo’s hand, without even muttering a thank you, and read the front page headline.

PEACE TREATY AND ALLIANCE BETWEEN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM AND THE DARK LANDS!

A peace treaty between Peach and Bowser?

This peaked King Boo’s interest.

Upon further reading the article, King Boo learned that Queen Peach and King Mario are willing to sign a peace treaty with King Bowser and King Luigi, despite everything Bowser did to the Mushroom Kingdom in the past. King Boo wasn’t sure why Mario would agree to sign a peace treaty with his sworn arch-nemesis, but he figured that the red king didn’t have that many options since Bowser and Luigi are a married couple.

Speaking of Luigi…

“Remind me of the relationship status between Luigi and Bowser as well as the relationship between Mario and Bowser,” King Boo ordered while staring at a picture on the front page. It was a picture of Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Bowser with jubilant and cheerful expressions surrounded with all kinds of different decorations. King Boo could tell that the picture was taken on Luigi and Bowser’s wedding day due to the fact that all four of the royals were wearing the most extravagant clothes he had ever seen in addition that Bowser was also kissing an embarrassed, but overjoyed, Luigi on the cheek while carrying him bridal style.

Grambi, King Boo despised every single thing about the picture. 

“Luigi and Bowser were officially married almost three months ago and their coronation took place three days after the wedding,” the Boo informed. “While Mario gave his public approval to the wedding, multiple spies from both the Mushroom Kingdom and the Dark Lands have confirmed that Mario and Bowser still don’t like each other.”

It was quiet as King Boo continued to read the rest of the article. It wasn’t until he started to read an article about a Toad explaining the disadvantages of the peace treaty that King Boo realized what the Boo actually said.

They still don’t like each other.

Despite the wedding and the peace treaty they’ll soon sign together, Mario and Bowser still hate each other.

King Boo couldn’t help but laugh at the situation that was now presented in front of him.

This didn’t just peak his interest anymore.

This was fantastic news.

No, this was absolutely perfect.

King Boo instantly tossed the newspaper aside as he gave the young Boo his full attention for the first time since he entered the room. Hundreds of ideas started to swarm in the ghost king’s head, but they were all easily pushed to the side as one thought consumed his mind. 

This was his new angle.

“Gather all the Boos to the corridor immediately!” King Boo exclaimed to the Boo. He stared at his reflection with the biggest grin he ever had while brainstorming his brand new master plan. “We are going to pay a visit to our dearest friend!”

***********

Chapter 2

One week later…

If there was one thing Luigi could change about himself, he would like to be much more confident. For their entire lives, Luigi always admired the enormous amount of confidence Mario had in any situation he was put into and wish he could have half the courage his older brother had. From battling villains without hesitation to being the spotlight of a party, Luigi wondered how it was all so easy for Mario when he would have the most difficult time talking to even one person.

Even if that said person, or rather, Koopa, was his husband.

Luigi watched the interaction between Bowser and the airship crew as he twiddled his thumbs in an anxious manner. While he couldn’t hear the conversation, Luigi could tell that Bowser was demanding the Shy Guys to finish the airship preparations based on the authoritative body language Bowser was using and the nervous posture the Shy Guys had.

He understood why Bowser was so eager to leave. A heavy thunderstorm was expected to hit the Dark Lands for the first time in weeks and both he and Bowser knew that flying an enormous wooden airship in the middle of a thunderstorm would certainly lead to disaster. The Koopa King wanted to leave before the thunderstorm could have a chance to hit them and Luigi didn’t blame him one bit.

But just because Luigi understood Bowser’s reasoning didn’t mean he agreed with his husband’s decision.

Now that the Shy Guys were working at a satisfying pace, Bowser faced Luigi and immediately noticed how anxious the green king was. Hating to see his spouse so distressed, Bowser walked back to his husband’s side and wrapped his arm around Luigi’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry about that, love,” Bowser apologized before kissing the top of Luigi’s head. He turned to watch the now-frantic Shy Guys making the final preparations as he gently squeezed Luigi closer to him. “I know you hate it when I yell at the minions, but every once in a while, they need to get it through their heads, you know? It’s like I need to babysit these idiots in order for them to actually do their job.” 

Luigi was quiet. He knew he should’ve responded, or, at the very least, acknowledged Bowser’s statement, but his mind was too preoccupied with something far more pressing.

He wasn’t the only one who noticed that Bowser’s statement was met with silence.

“Are you alright?” Bowser asked worriedly. While keeping his right arm around Luigi’s shoulder, he used his left hand to gently turn Luigi’s head in order for him to see how concern the Koopa King was for him. “You’ve hardly said a word all morning and I can tell that you’re thinking about something serious. What’s going on?”

Luigi needed to tell him. He already voiced his concerns to Bowser ever since they received the letter two days ago, but they would always get pulled away by their royal duties before they could finish the conversation.

Maybe Bowser would listen to him this time. It was just the two of them in front of the airship and Luigi didn’t think the Shy Guys would be brave enough to interrupt their conversation. Would Bowser take his words to heart?

Luigi desperately hoped so.

“I-I don’t think this is a good idea,” Luigi confessed while staring at Bowser.

Neither of them spoke for a minute, although it felt much longer to Luigi, as Bowser processed his words. Once Bowser fully realized what Luigi was referring to, he took his arm off of Luigi’s shoulders and carefully held his husband’s hands.

“There’s no reason for you to worry about this,” Bowser responded. He started rubbing Luigi’s hands with his thumbs in a circular motion in hopes of easing his husband’s worries. While he noticed a visible change in Luigi’s nervousness, Bowser could tell that his actions weren’t enough to completely calm the green king down just yet. “It’s just a meeting with your brother and Peach. I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

“The problem isn’t about the meeting,” Luigi explained as he looked down at his hands. “The problem is that Mario and Peach want to meet with you alone.”

Luigi looked back up at Bowser as the Koopa King tried to think of a response to his statement. When he saw that Bowser was struggling to find the right words to comfort his anxiousness, Luigi continued.

“I know Mario wasn’t…thrilled about our wedding,” Luigi hesitated. “But even still, Mario and I have been very close our entire lives. I’m just confused on why Mario wants you to visit the Mushroom Kingdom by yourself. I know he already gave you the protective big brother lecture at our wedding and when we all signed the peace treaty last week, so what other topic does Mario want to discuss with you that I can’t or shouldn’t know about?”

If Bowser was completely honest, he had no idea what the meeting with Mario and Peach was going to be about and that terrified him. Ever since he and Luigi announced their relationship to the royal couple, Bowser never felt like he actually got Mario’s approval. He couldn’t blame the red king, especially after all the hell he used to put the Mushroom Kingdom through, but he and Luigi have been together for almost 18 months now. Surely, Mario would at least realize that Bowser loved Luigi just as much as he did, right?

Then again, judging by the tone in the letter, Bowser highly doubted he was going to get Mario’s approval anytime soon.

“Your Majesties,” a Shy Guy announced as he interrupted the couple’s conversation. With the dark blue jacket and the captain’s cap the Shy Guy was wearing, both Luigi and Bowser could tell that this particular Shy Guy was the Captain of the airship crew, or, at the very least, a Shy Guy with a very high rank. “The airship is ready for departure. If we want to reach the Mushroom Kingdom before the thunderstorms hits, I suggest we leave immediately.”

“Excellent work, Captain!” Bowser exclaimed, not realizing Luigi’s question was left unanswered. He gave the Captain one unexpected, hard pat on the back before wrapping his arm back around Luigi’s shoulders. “Prepare for takeoff while I have another minute with my husband.”

Luigi watched the Captain as he bowed to Bowser and left them alone to notify the airship crew. Once the Captain was out of their sight, Bowser took his arm off Luigi’s shoulders and gently grabbed his husband’s shoulders to make sure he had Luigi’s full attention.

“I should be back by tomorrow night at the absolute latest,” Bowser informed. “The only thing you’ll need to focus on is the meeting with the royal court later today, but both Kamek and Kammy will be there to help you with that as well as anything else you’ll need while I’m gone. You’ll be okay handling the royal stuff without me, right?”

Luigi had never felt more like two completely different people than at that moment. On the inside, he was begging, pleading, and doing anything else he could desperately think of to stop Bowser from entering that airship.

But on the outside, all he could do was silently nod.

“Good,” Bowser responded with a smile. He gave Luigi one last kiss on the head before he let go of his shoulders. “I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

As Bowser started to make his way to the airship entrance, Luigi’s world instantly started to crumble right in front of him. He had no idea why his brother wanted to meet with Bowser in private or why his husband didn’t find Mario’s letter suspicious, but there was one thing Luigi knew with absolute certainty.

He can’t let him go.

He cannot let Bowser get onto the airship.

“STOP!”

Luigi was surprised and relieved when Bowser stopped in his tracks and turned around to face him. Luigi noticed Bowser’s bewildered facial expression, but he couldn’t dwell on his husband’s emotions. He had to be brave.

“You can’t get on that airship,” Luigi demanded. He was fully aware that he sounded like a parent ordering a child to not do something, but it didn’t matter to him. The only thing he could think about was preventing Bowser from entering that airship.

“Luigi, I’ll only be gone until tomorrow night,” Bowser reassured. He started to take a few steps towards Luigi in hopes of calming him down. “It’s going to be-,”

“No!”

Bowser immediately stopped walking after Luigi interrupted him. By now, the entire airship crew was watching the conversation unfold, but neither Luigi nor Bowser noticed. They were too busy focusing on their significant other to realize that they now had an audience.

“Every time we try to talk about this, something always interrupts us to where we can’t finish the conversation,” Luigi explained. “But I’m not going to let that happen this time. This trip is a bad idea Bowser and I won’t let you get on that airship.”

Wait, what?

He had to be joking. 

There was no way Luigi would try to prevent him, the King of the Koopas, from entering the airship, right? 

But as Bowser looked at his husband, he realized that Luigi’s nervousness and anxiousness from before was now completely replace with something that almost resembled confidence and determination.

Oh yes, Luigi was actually being sincere.

Now Bowser just couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“You won’t let me?” Bowser scoffed. He took a few intimidating steps towards Luigi with the goal of scaring him a little bit. Even though Bowser noticed a small change in his husband’s demeanor, it didn’t stop Luigi from keeping his ground. “How do you intend to stop me? It may have been a while, but we both know I can defeat you in a fight.”

“The Shy Guys will listen to me,” Luigi responded. He inwardly knew that Bowser could very well easily crush him like a bug, if he really wanted to, but Luigi couldn’t let that thought break his confidence. “And if they decide to follow your orders over mine, I learned my way around an airship and I know the parts that can prevent it from flying for days or even weeks.”

“Are you seriously trying to blackmail me right now?!” Bowser screamed while running a hand through his hair. If he wasn’t so frustrated with how stubborn Luigi was being, Bowser would’ve honestly been proud to see his husband standing up to him for something he truly believed in. “It’s just a stupid meeting with Mario and Peach! Why are you so hung up over this?!”

“It’s not just about the meeting!” Luigi argued. He felt the tears welling up in his eyes, but he refused to let himself cry in front of Bowser. “Ever since you got the letter, I’ve been having this really bad feeling that something terrible is going to happen if you enter that airship and visit the Mushroom Kingdom! And besides, if it’s just a ridiculous meeting, then why are you so obsessed about it?!”

When Luigi and Bowser first started dating, the Koopa King made a promise to himself to not take his anger out on Luigi whenever he was frustrated about something, even if Luigi was the cause of his anger. Bowser knew how sensitive and emotional his husband was and the Koopa King especially didn’t want to do or say anything that would greatly upset the man he vowed to love and protect.

But this time, Bowser let his anger get the best of him.

“Do you really want to know why I want to go to this meeting so badly?!” Bowser snapped. “Fine! I want to go to this meeting because I want to get Mario’s blessing! You may have a fantastic relationship with your brother and Peach, but incase your idiotic brain didn’t realize it, Mario despises my guts and ignoring him certainly isn’t going to get him to like me! I’m going to this damn meeting whether you like it or not, so you can either suck it up and accept it or cry about it like the fucking disgrace you are to everyone!” 

No one uttered a sound after Bowser’s emotional outburst. The Shy Guys have worked with Bowser for many years, but to see Bowser so livid and enraged terrified them to the point where they were too paralyzed with fear to even move. 

It was beyond horrifying to witness the Koopa King like this.

But the Shy Guys and Bowser were especially surprised when it was Luigi who finally broke the silence.

“S-So that’s how y-you really feel about m-me?”

When he heard Luigi’s quiet and brittle voice, Bowser instantly realized the harsh words he said to his husband. Bowser was very hesitant to look at Luigi, but he knew he needed to see just how much of an impact his words had on the green king if he wanted to apologize for his outburst.

But what he saw shattered his heart.

Luigi was visibly shaking so much that Bowser couldn’t help but wonder how he was even able to stand. The tears the green king desperately tried to hold in during the argument were now pouring down his face and he was hugging himself so tightly that Bowser had a feeling that bruises were going to form on Luigi’s arms within the next few days.

It was a gut-wrenching sight to see.

But what devastated Bowser the most was that he was the reason for it.

“Luigi,” Bowser whispered. He had no idea what to do, but he knew he needed to do something. Bowser carefully took one step towards Luigi as a way to show that he wanted to apologize for his outburst and help comfort his distressed husband.

Luigi took one step back in response.

“I-If that’s how y-you really feel about me, then I-I won’t stop you from l-leaving,” Luigi stammered while taking a few more steps away from Bowser. “E-Enjoy you t-time away from a d-disgrace like m-me.”

Luigi hastily ran back to the castle before Bowser could utter a response. Every part of the Koopa King’s mind wanted to follow, call out, or literally anything else he could think of to let Luigi know that he was sorry and that he didn’t mean to take his anger out on him.

But his body just simply wouldn’t let him. All Bowser could do was watch Luigi as the green king ran farther and farther away from him.

“K-King B-Bowser?”

Bowser turned to see the Captain watching him with fear and terror. He completely forgot that the Shy Guys were waiting for his orders and considering that he now no doubt knew that the entire airship crew saw his and Luigi’s fight unfold was especially a nail to the coffin.

“W-We really need to g-go if want to m-make it b-before,-”

“I hear you loud and clear,” Bowser interrupted with a sigh. He gave the castle one last look before walking towards the entrance of the airship. “I’m ready to go.”

***********

Chapter 3

When Luigi and Bowser revealed their relationship to Mario and Peach, the Mushroom couple had mixed feelings. At first, Peach was very hesitant about the relationship, but her opinion soon changed when she saw how happy Luigi and Bowser were together. From putting the other one’s needs above his own to supporting each other through all the hardships, Peach noticed all the little interactions between the odd couple during their stays at the Mushroom Kingdom and it warmed her heart to see that Bowser was a truly changed Koopa.

For Mario…, it was really difficult for him to give Luigi and Bowser his blessing. Sure, he announced his approval of the relationship to the public eye, but Peach, Bowser, and even Luigi knew that it would take time for the Mushroom King to fully accept Luigi and Bowser’s relationship.

Bowser couldn’t blame Mario for his reluctance. Up until two years ago, he considered both Mario and Luigi as his arch-enemies, so it made sense to the Koopa King that he would need to gain Mario’s trust in order for the red king to truly accept his relationship with his brother.

But the last thing Bowser expected was for Mario to antagonize him.

Constantly.

You see, every time Luigi and Bowser visited the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario sort of made it a goal of his to anger Bowser to the point where the Koopa King would cause a massive scene and prove to everyone, especially Luigi and Peach, that he was the same Koopa he used to be all those years ago. Whether it was criticism or complaints, Mario would try every tactic he could think of to push Bowser over the limit.

I don’t understand how your minions are still loyal to you after all you put them through.

This is not how you should rule a kingdom.

You don’t deserve to be with Luigi.

Bowser had considered telling Luigi and Peach about Mario’s behavior on multiple occasions, but he decided long ago that it wasn’t worth mentioning to either of them. Mario was Peach’s entire world and Bowser was smart enough to know that Peach would easily take her husband’s words over his.

As for Luigi…

The green king had been through so much ever since they announced their relationship to the public. From the Mushroom Kingdom treating him like a traitor to the Dark Lands still seeing him as an enemy, it pained Bowser to see all the battles Luigi faced just to live the life he wanted to have.

If Luigi ever found out about Mario’s behavior towards the Koopa King, it would break the green Italian’s heart.

Although with everything that happened today, Luigi finding out about his brother’s behavior was honestly the least of Bowser’s worries.

“What the hell have I gotten myself into?” Bowser sighed as he rubbed his face with his hands.

Three hours have gone by since the airship left the Dark Lands, but to Bowser, it was three hours since his huge fight with Luigi. As soon as he entered the airship, Bowser ordered anyone within earshot to not disturb him until they landed. He didn’t wait to hear any of the Shy Guys’ responses (but he knew that none of them would risk angering him) and took the most direct route to his quarters. The Koopa King didn’t even acknowledge the Shy Guys who stopped and bowed to him, although the minions were sort of used to it at this point.

But as soon as Bowser was alone in his room, he broke down.

Why? Why did he lose control like that? All Luigi wanted was to voice his concerns about Bowser’s trip to the Mushroom Kingdom. It was a simple request that Bowser could’ve easily agreed to, but instead, he essentially destroyed his entire marriage all because he was so determined in getting Mario’s stupid approval.

Was this ridiculous meeting with Mario and Peach really that important to him?

Bowser heard a knock on the door before he had time to consider the question.

“Enter,” Bowser grumbled as he ran a hand through his hair.

The door opened to reveal the Captain, but with the way his hands were fidgeting and his whole body was rocking back and forth, it was obvious that the Shy Guy was terrified to interrupt whatever Bowser was doing.

“I-I’m here to inform y-you that the a-airship just l-landed,” the Captain nervously announced.

Bowser was hesitant. As much as he didn’t want to, he would need to figure out his situation with Luigi later. Right now, he had to prioritize this meeting with Mario and Peach.

Sighing one last time, Bowser looked at the Captain and spoke with an aggressive tone.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

King Mario felt a headache coming on as he listened to the argument between Peach, Toadsworth, and the royal court. If it was purely up to him, he would’ve ended the meeting hours ago, but ever since he and Peach signed the peace treaty, his days were filled to the brim with all kinds of different meetings with the royal court explaining their reasons on why signing the peace treaty was a terrible idea.

It’s not like he could blame them for being such nervous wrecks. Luigi and Bowser have been together for almost 18 months and Mario still hates Bowser with every fiber of his being.

Not that he would admit that to anyone.

“Your Majesties, we cannot trust King Bowser on keeping his promises,” a male Toad insisted, interrupting Mario’s thoughts. With the white spots on his black cap, Mario recognized the Toad as one of the higher-ranking members of the royal court. “He has caused nothing but trouble to our kingdom for years and he expects us to pretend that his actions never happened?”

“By boogity, that’s exactly what he wants us to do!” Toadbert explained before adjusting his glasses. Mario watched Toadbert as the longtime serving Toad looked through the dozens of papers scattered in front of him. “King Bowser hopes to gain our trust with the peace treaty, and once he sees us letting our guard down, he’ll use that opportunity to attack us, by boogity!”

“What do you suppose we do then?” a female Toad with red spots on her white cap explained. Based on the way the Toad was rubbing her forehead, as if she was stressed, Mario could tell that she was likely a newer member of the royal court. “His armies have always been, and still are, much more powerful than ours. If we attack him now, he’ll surely destroy us, but we can’t just sit back and wait for him to make the first move.

“King Bowser is not going to betray us!” Toadsworth exclaimed while slamming his cane on the floor. He took a few deep breaths before looking at each member of the royal court. “Have you all forgotten that he is married to King Luigi, one of the heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom? He would never allow King Koopa to attack our kingdom.”

A male Toad with white spots on his orange cap slammed his fist on the table before anyone could have a chance to respond.

“King Luigi betrayed us the moment he started a romantic relationship with that vile Koopa,” the Toad stated. “For all we know, he could be plotting with King Bowser to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom. We cannot trust either of them.”

Mario was grateful that Peach chimed into the conversation at that moment because he would’ve gone off on the idiotic Toad for even considering Luigi as a traitor had she not intervened.

“That is enough!” Peach shouted while shooting up from her chair. The entire royal court turned stiff upon hearing the queen’s sudden outburst, but Peach paid no attention. “We have been in an official alliance with the Dark Lands for less than a week and no one is even willing to give Bowser a chance! Yes, he has done nothing but terrible things to the Mushroom Kingdom in the past, but he wants to be a better Koopa now. Need I remind you all that the peace treaty was entirely his idea, not ours, and not to mention that he went through a lot just to have a public relationship with Luigi? That right there proves to me that Bowser is not the Koopa he used to be all those years ago and it greatly disappoints me that none of you can see that.”

It was a huge relief to Mario when a maid announced her presence with a knock on the conference room door right then and there. He didn’t have to look at the royal court to know that the meeting would’ve instantly turned into a verbal bloodbath if the maid arrived even one second later.

“Your Majesties, you have a visitor in the throne room,” the maid informed.

“Who’s the visitor?” Mario asked, speaking for the first time since the meeting started. He and Peach weren’t expecting any visitors today, but it was also entirely possible that the visitor could’ve just slipped from their minds, especially given that this past week had been exhausting for the royal couple.

The entire throne room noticed the stutter in the maid’s voice.

“I-I think it’s best if y-you see for yourself, Your M-Majesty,” the maid answered with an anxious tone.

Mario and Peach exchanged a worried glance before following the maid to the throne room. Usually, the maids or guards would announce the visitor to the royal couple, but considering the fact that the maid refused to provide the visitor’s name, in addition to that she was reluctant to respond to Mario’s question was rather alarming.

Who was the mysterious visitor?

Upon entering the throne room, Mario and Peach were relieved to find that the mysterious visitor was just Bowser. Mario now understood why the maid was nervous in answering his question and couldn’t blame her for the way she reacted.

But Mario’s relief melted away when he noticed two important pieces of information.

Luigi wasn’t with Bowser in the throne room.

And Bowser didn’t have his usual confidence.

“King Bowser.”

“Your Majesties.”

The throne room was painfully quiet for what felt like an eternity. None of the three royals knew how to break the silence.

It was only when Mario finally spoke that the atmosphere of the room took a 180˚ turn.

“What are you doing here?”

***********

Chapter 4

Wait, what?

This wasn’t at all where Bowser thought the conversation would be going.

Okay, sure, the actual purpose of this meeting had honestly been a mystery to the Koopa King ever since he received the letter, but he did have a few ideas on what the royal couple wanted to discuss with him. Between his relationship with Luigi and the peace treaty they all recently signed together, it would make sense for Mario and Peach to check in on him and make sure that he wasn’t going to back down on the promises he made to them.

But for Mario to ask why he was in his throne room when this entire meeting was his and Peach’s idea?

That was the last thing Bowser expected to hear.

“You wrote a letter that said you two wanted to speak with me in private,” Bowser answered while keeping his temper in check. He wasn’t sure how they could forget about a meeting, much less a meeting with him of all people, but with everything the four royals had to deal with since the signing of the peace treaty, Bowser figured that this meeting was likely not a high priority for the royal couple.

That hopefulness was thrown out the window when Mario spoke again.

“I never wrote you a letter.”

Okay, now that just didn’t make any sense to Bowser. It was one thing for Mario and Peach to forget about a meeting, but for them to have the audacity to act like they didn’t plan this meeting in the first place?

That started to anger the Koopa King.

“What do you mean ‘you never wrote me a letter?’” Bowser bellowed in a mocking tone. “Two days ago, I received a letter from you saying that you and Peach wanted to have a private meeting with me. You didn’t provide any purpose or reason for the meeting, but considering the fact that you don’t think too highly of me, I figured that you two wanted to do another ridiculous check up on me.”

Bowser could tell he struck a nerve when he saw Mario clenching his fists and momentarily conjuring up his Firebrand. While he was able to keep his composure in front of the Mushroom couple, Bowser couldn’t help but inwardly smirk at his small unintentional victory.

“You better watch what you say, King Koopa,” Mario threateningly demanded while ruining Bowser’s little victory. “I don’t know how it works in your kingdom, but here in the Mushroom Kingdom, you are expected to treat me and Peach with respect.”

It was a miracle that Peach interrupted the small argument right then and there because if she hadn’t, Bowser would’ve instantly dropped the formalities and used his fire breath to burn Mario to a crisp.

That would’ve been an interesting way to tell Luigi that he broke the peace treaty and started a war against his brother’s kingdom.

“Mario, sweetie, calm down,” Peach pleaded as she placed her hands on her husband’s shoulders. Bowser was amazed by how calm she was despite the amount of tension that was now hanging in the throne room. “Can you please show us the letter we allegedly wrote so that we can clear this matter up?”

It took a few moments for Bowser to realize that the question was directed at him and not Mario, but once he noticed that Peach was looking directly at him, the Koopa King immediately grabbed the letter out of his shell. He held the paper out to the royal couple, but Mario was quick to yank it out of Bowser’s hand, without even muttering a thank you, and start reading.

It was quiet as Peach and Bowser waited for Mario to finish reading the letter. Every part of Bowser wanted to tap his foot or sigh in annoyance, but he forced himself to take a few deep breaths because he knew that his impatience would only fuel Mario’s happiness. When five minutes have passed, Mario handed the letter to Peach before giving Bowser his utmost attention.

“We didn’t send this letter.”

Now that.

That statement made Bowser furious.

“Bullshit!” Bowser fumed. “I have seen the letters you two wrote to me and Luigi after we became an official couple and I know for a fact that those seals are real and official!”

“Yes, that is true, but this is neither mine nor Peach’s handwriting,” Mario explained. “Plus, we have a few Toads who are authorized to write letters on our behalf, but Peach and I always review the letter before we give the approval to mail it out to the recipient. This is the first time we’re seeing this letter and I can guarantee you that none of the Toads have this kind of handwriting.”

“Okay, so if none of you guys wrote the letter, then who the hell did?” Bowser inquired with a frustrated tone.

Before the royal couple could have a chance to think about Bowser’s question, a Hammer Brother suddenly barged into the throne room. Mario and Peach quickly went into a battle stance, but Bowser immediately shot his arm out to prevent any conflict from breaking out as he recognized the now-exhausted minion as one of Luigi’s personal guards.

“Jerry, what the hell are you doing here?” Bowser asked. “And why are you so out of breath?”

It took far too long, in Bowser’s opinion, for Jerry to catch his breath. Come to think of it, he wasn’t even sure why the minion was so out of breath to begin with. Jerry’s devoted loyalty to the royal family and high status in the Koopa Troop gave him the privilege to use the Koopa Clown Car Kamek and Kammy specifically made for the highest ranking minions.

But what Jerry said next made the three royals’ blood run cold.

“King Boo has taken over the Dark Lands!”

2 hours ago…

Luigi sighed as he stared at his reflection in the master bathroom mirror. With his red face and puffy eyes, it was easy to tell that he had been crying for quite some time and Luigi knew the minions well enough to know that it wouldn’t take long for the entire castle to find out that the green king sprinted to his and Bowser’s room with tears in his eyes.

And considering that his fight with Bowser was loud enough for even the Comet Observatory to hear them, Luigi knew it would only be a matter of time until everyone put two and two together.

It was such a relief that the master bathroom was directly connected to the master bedroom.

Luigi decided to give up on trying to look presentable, so he exited the master bathroom and collapsed on his and Bowser’s king-sized bed. He grabbed one of the pillows on his husband’s side of the bed before giving it a tight squeeze as a way to comfort himself from everything that happened in the past hour.

“How could this have happened?” Luigi whispered to himself while staring at the ceiling.

Why? Why did Bowser have to yell at him like that? All Luigi wanted was an actual conversation with Bowser about his private meeting with Mario and Peach. Granted, it probably wasn’t the best idea to express his concerns to the Koopa King right before he was scheduled to leave the Dark Lands, but Luigi didn’t think he was asking for too much. Was it really that difficult for Bowser to stop and listen to him for ten minutes?

Judging by the way their conversation ended, it apparently was.

Luigi didn’t want to think about Bowser or the argument anymore, so he forced himself to sit up on the bed and look around the room for something to distract himself with. It wasn’t until he saw the balcony entrance that he remembered the entire reason for Bowser’s early departure.

The thunderstorm was going to start soon.

And despite all the alarms that were running through his head, Luigi suddenly wanted nothing more than to take a walk in the rain.

With his mind now made up, Luigi got off the bed and walked to the bedroom door with a sense of urgency.

But he only took a few steps before the door was instantly sealed off with a purple gate.

A purple gate? He hadn’t seen that since-

Luigi could’ve sworn he felt his heart stop upon remembering the last time a purple gate blocked the exit.

“N-no,” Luigi trembled as he frantically looked around the room for any possible exit. He quickly realized that the rest of the exits were sealed off with the same purple gates, so he started to hysterically knock on the wall next to the bedroom door in hopes of making enough noise for any minion to hear him. “No, no, no!” 

He talked to E. Gadd two weeks ago. He reassured Luigi that his arch-nemesis was still trapped in that canister along with all the other ghosts he captured after that horrendous hotel adventure.

It was impossible for him to escape again.

But horror struck Luigi as soon as he heard the all-too-familiar and low chuckle he heard so many times in his nightmares.

And even though his mind was begging him not to, Luigi forced himself to turn around to face the one Boo he never wanted to see again.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my dear friend, Luigi,” King Boo taunted. “How long has it been since our last little reunion? One year? Two years? It’s hard to tell since I’ve been trapped in that canister for quite some time.”

Luigi couldn’t respond. He wasn’t sure if King Boo’s questions were rhetorical or actually genuine, but Luigi honestly didn’t care one way or the another because his mind was pleading him to scream, run, or do anything else he could think of to get away from the Boo who caused so much trouble for him and his brother.

But he was far too petrified to do anything.

And it didn’t take King Boo that long to notice this.

“Not in the mood to talk, huh?” King Boo asked upon noticing Luigi’s terrified expression. “That’s fine. I figured we would have a short reunion before I start my ultimate plan.”

Ultimate plan? What did that mean?

Luigi’s questions were immediately answered when he saw King Boo summoning a painting frame. The green king didn’t even realized he was screaming in terror as thunder rumbled in the distance at that exact moment.

But by the time the thunder stopped, he was already gone.

[that-random-fandom-s]

okay with ao3 down can you guys help me find a fic?

IT fandom. It’s a social media AU (mostly Twitter) where at one point people think they are in a cult. Turtle mentions. Leader Bill. Slight foresight due to dead lights I think?

I’ve been going through the social media AUs for a couple days. At first I was just heading towards The Exoneration of Richie Tozier, and reading fics on the way (yes I Killed A Clown AMA was in there) anyways can anyone find this? The losers aren’t actually a cult but people think so and it’s super funny

also if you want fic recommendations in that area, those two are a great start and then I know so many more

[baconcolacan]

Regimen tord being a burnt chicken tender while stay tord is a whole meal

Pick your poison. Level of ratassery varies.

[reddje]

it fandom writing about the losers

[rexrevri]

Chapters: 14/14 Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV), The Sandman (Comics), The Sandman (TV 2022) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Cat King | Thomas/Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Charles Rowland Characters: The Cat King | Thomas, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland (DCU), Crystal Palace (DCU), Desire of the Endless, Death of the Endless Additional Tags: Touch-Starved Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne Loves Charles Rowland, the cat king - Freeform, Seduction, Teasing, Flirting, Magic, Touch-Starved, Forehead Touching, Touching, Overstimulation, Guilty Pleasures, Canon Compliant, Post-Season/Series 01, First Kiss, Slow Burn, Dating, Boys Kissing, Gentle Kissing, Case Fic, Secrets, Secret Relationship, Catwin - Freeform, First Time, Non-Graphic Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Minor Crystal Palace/Charles Rowland, Coming Out, First Relationship, Detectives, supernatural mystery, cat king's name is not Thomas in this because it's not canon and I don't think it suits him, Jealousy, Cat's background in this is about 85 percent my own creation, Started off writing a cute story and whups suddenly a lot of plot, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Behavior, Platonic Soulmates Series: Part 1 of Perseid_Lion's Dead Boy Detectives, Part 1 of The Ballad of Edwin and Cat - Catwin Continity Summary:

A few months after their return to London from Port Townsend, the Cat King shows back up in Edwin’s life. He’s bent on courting Edwin, and has somehow acquired a magical collar that allows them to properly feel each other. Edwin meets him in secret, unsure of whether he’s ready to tell Charles about the relationship.

In the meantime, business at the Dead Boy Detective Agency continues. They receive a case where a woman is trapped between life and death, tethered between the mortal realm and the beyond by a cursed sorcerer.

But there may be more going on than meets the eye, and an Endless pulling strings from the shadows…

---

Part Edwin/Cat courtship, part casefic. Now complete!

[regulusrules]

ACT X and sneak peek of ACT XI in mbarbyc

[sabraeal]

fruit of the bitter tree, Chapter 1 [King's Beast | Ou no Kemono, Taihaku/Rangtsu]

[Read on AO3]

Written for @obiyuki-beebs, who has been a long time sufferer of this B-ship with me. One of the newer OnK chapters came out right before I asked for her birthday request, while we were both still wallowing in the DREAD GRIP of this pairing, and I was all too happy to be the first person to write fic for these idiots.

The decision to take on a new aide is one Tenyou-sama does not make lightly. The pavilion of the fourth prince has always been leanly staffed— at least according to Taihaku, who grumbles each time he tallies up the two ajin guards and one civil servant that populate the sprawling palace— but with the increased responsibility of becoming third prince—

“You can’t possibly expect me to take this on alone,” Taihaku tells him, belatedly— if reverently— tacking on, “Your Highness.”

Rangetsu does not naturally speak out both sides of her mouth, not the way the other courtiers do— the way Taihaku can, his words still light despite the weight of the double meaning they carry. But she has learned to listen for them, for the lacuna between breaths, for the way eyes often shoulder the burden that voices cannot. And Taihaku’s is all too plain.

A prince might suffer so few servants, the twitch in his cheeks mutters as the vein in his temple shouts, but an emperor cannot.

Tenyou-sama receives both rebukes with the same abashed bemusement as he takes most of Taihaku’s scoldings, head just barely bowed and smile strained at the corners.

“Of course.” One hand curling open, his magnanimity as reflexive as his kindness. “You are right, as always.”

Caught halfway through forming his next argument, chest puffed large as a bellows, Taihaku practically deflates, hollowed out beneath the tense line of his shoulders. “Oh. Ah. Are you really—?” His teeth snap around the rest of the question, dispelling it with a clearing of his throat. “I mean, thank you, master. Your wisdom is unimpeachable.”

One side of Tenyou-sama’s mouth twitches, stretching toward a smirk. “In this matter, at least. I have full trust that you will pick out someone suitable.”

“Me?” Taihaku’s jaw falls slack, one hand raised to sweep back the fall of his fringe before he remembers himself. “You mean—? Wouldn’t you rather select…?”

This time Tenyou-sama allows himself the smirk, one elegant brow sweeping up the smooth expanse of his forehead. Rangetsu’s fingers itch to trace its path. “You’re not the only one with more work, you know.”

“Ah…” Confusion converts to consternation, a bright flush creeping up from the collar of Taihaku’s robe, painting up the tense column of his neck. “Right. Of course.”

Tenyou-sama may be beautiful in that way that blossoms flutter on the breeze, or snow gathers on stone, but it’s Taihaku the palace maids giggle over. There’s something pleasant about his mouth, she’d heard one say, after he asked her to change out the arrangements in the fourth prince’s pavilion. I like watching him speak.

Rangestu had tried to see it— she’d had plenty of opportunity when he’d found her next, since he’d launched right into an impassioned lecture on the number of feet the fourth prince’s guards should keep on the ground when at court. Through all the sneering and snorting and snide remarks, she hadn’t found much of it pleasant to say the least.

But there is something about the way his jaw works that attracts her attention now; the jump of the tendon, perhaps, as it sets, or how delicately his throat bobs when it swallows. Or perhaps it is merely the grit of his teeth, the smile that is more nerves than nicety as he says, “I won’t let you down.”

Like an ajin’s, she realizes. That’s what his smile is like. And when she angles her own up to him, chasing his heels as he stomps out the door, he scowls back.

“Don’t,” he warns, darkly, “even think about making more work for me.”

“I was just wondering,” she says, trotting past his shoulders. “If my brother still has that liquor the Kougai-sama gave him.”

*

“This is just like him!” Beside her and Sogetsu, it is easy to forget that Taihaku’s official title was guard rather than aide for the first stumbling years of her tenure. But there is strength in the arm that he drops, leaving the table trembling beneath its weight. “I tell him there’s a problem, and then he— he goes off and gives me the power to fix it! Because gods forbid he actually…”

His voice drops to a mumble, muffled by the hand he curls over his mouth. Even with her ajin ears, Rangetsu can’t make out more than one word in five. Not that she needs to— when he gets like this, Taihaku cares more about airing his complaints than having them heard— but she still leans in, close enough one of her splayed knees brushes against his, and asks, “You don’t want to pick out the new servant?”

“What?” His hand lifts, burying itself in his hair rather than corners of his jaw. It’s not often she sees his eyes like this— unobstructed, no spray of fringe to hide the impatience in them. Or, sometimes, something she’s almost sure is fondness. “Of course I do. If I left it to Tenyou-sama, he’d pick someone like you.”

She blinks, filling his cup when he holds it out. “Ajin?”

His mouth curls around the cup’s edge. “Hopeless.”

*

Ichii joins them when the sakura first begins to bloom.

There’s petals tumbling in the air when Taihaku kneels at the bottom of the pavilion steps, leaning forward to lay prostrate at Tenyou-sama’s feet. They catch in his hair, dainty pink dotting inky black, like still water at twilight.

Standing at his shoulder, Rangetsu is glad for her mask— she cannot be sure what the third prince’s chief aide might do if he saw her smile, but it would almost certainly involve copying the worst poetry in the palace’s collection until her strokes were as fine as his. Or at least, until he got sick of disappointment.

His kowtow is serviceable, its execution technically perfect if lacking in abject devotion; the ideal model for the boy beside him, who hurries to make a more meaningful one.

Seated at the top of the steps, robed in pristine white and flanked by two ajin guards, Tenyou-sama is ethereal, more spirit than man and every inch an imperial prince. “This is the one you picked?”

“It is, Tenyou-sama.” Taihaku sits back on his heels, the veil of his fringe settling over his serious eyes. “Ichii recently passed the civil servant exam at its highest levels. Even amongst this year’s impressive showing of applications, he stood out in both the written and physical portions of the exam.”

Across Tenyou-sama’s elegant shoulders, Sogetsu meets her eyes, and even masked as he is, his amusement is plain. As is Tenyou-sama’s, his mouth unable to resist a wry tilt as he hums, “Did he?”

Taihaku’s brow furrows, frowning at their amusement. “Yes, Your Highness. I hope he meets your expectations.”

“If he was chosen by you, then I have every confidence he will.” He shifts, one hand curling under his chin as he adds, “It’s only….”

“Yes?” Taihaku prompts, impatience scraping the reverence off the edge of his voice.

“Well…” Tenyou-sama shifts, his own cheeks blooming with a dainty flush. “I would never have expected you to pick an ajin.”

*

“Don’t get any stupid ideas!” Taihaku glares over the rim of his sake cup, cheeks flushed with more than just alcohol now that both the boy and Tenyou-sama have been put to bed. “This doesn’t have anything to do with the two of you.”

Sogetsu’s lounge only makes the arch of his brow all the more insolent. “Is that so? Here I was, half convinced you might like us.”

“I meant what I said.” He glances between the two of them, shoulders hiked right up to his ears. “He’s the best of a bumper crop.”

Impressive, at his age. The boy is young— young enough for one dark ear to droop as she took him to his quarters, so tired he didn’t noticed until she clasped it between her two fingers and rubbed at the muscle beneath. Rangetsu had no memory of how her own ears came to stand so proudly— there was little occasion for tenderness in the crèche— but during her short-lived retirement, she saw one of the old farm wives doing the same to the litter of pups their best bitch had whelped, urging them to standing. It was supposed to be a kindness, but—

But Ichii had smacked her hand away, eyes wide all the way around, and told her, “That won’t be necessary.” His voice had cracked at the end, still high when he tersely bid her goodnight.

“And no one else would have taken him,” Sogetsu adds. It’s not a question.

“No.” Each syllable elbows its way out of his mouth, begrudging. Tenyou-sama may have made it possible for ajin males to serve as more than fodder on the battlefield, but few humans would hire an animal to balance the books. “They wouldn’t have.”

Her brother hums, taking another delicate sip from his own cup. “Their loss.”

“Yeah.” Taihaku shoves a hand through his hair, unveiled eyes meeting hers for a moment before skittering away. “You could say that.”

*

“Do you like your room?” Rangetsu had been breathless when she’d showed it to Ichii the night before— private quarters, with a washstand filled fresh each morning and night. It’s the sort of luxury children in the crèche would only whisper of behind their hands, the kind they would only see if they were taken as royal guards or managed to make a name for themselves among the other flowers in the red light district. “I could hardly sleep my first night here.”

There are few civil servants who could keep pace with two ajin guards— especially ones as tall as her and her brother— but the boy manages it with only the scantest scarcity of breath, his chin tilted up pridefully between his deadly bookends. “I have no complaints, Rangetsu-dono.”

She stares down at him. Only a single night here and already he sounds like Taihaku. “Really?”

His nose wrinkles above his already rumpled mouth. “Yes.”

“I slept on the floor.” Sogetsu leans down, hanging over the boy’s shoulder with a conspiratorial smirk. “The bed was too soft. Took me nearly a month to sleep there the whole night.”

Ichii’s mouth rounds. “R-really?”

Sogetsu nods, straightening into his usual saunter. “There’s no shame in struggle here— not like there is out there. If you have trouble adjusting, you need only speak up.”

“My room is just down the hall,” Rangetsu blurts out, eager to have Ichii turn to her with the same wide, reverent eyes he gives her brother. “And Sogetsu’s is down in the other direction! Taihaku, too, he’s right next to me, so if—”

“I will make sure not to disturb you.” It’s a solemn promise, one he makes with head bowed and shoulders square— and exactly what she didn’t want.

“No!” He startles as she slings around him, taking her next stretch of steps backward to make sure their eyes meet as she says, “Please, do! If there is anything, I am happy to help-- no matter how small!”

Ichii’s mouth falls slack around an, “Oh.”

“Don’t look at me,” Sogetsu drawls when the boy casts his curious eyes on him. “I expect you to keep your problems to daylight hours. And amusing, too, if you mean to drag me into them.”

“Taihaku will handle most of your academic education, but Sogetsu and I will be handling your martial training,” she adds, falling back into step beside him. “But if you’re struggling with anything, tell me right away! Taihaku is a great teacher, but if you need him to go slower, I can tell him to—”

Ichii’s mouth pulls thin, a narrow perforation in his unblemished face. “Thanks you, Rangetsu-dono,” he says, not sounding grateful in the least. “But I won’t need any help.”

“Oh my,” Sogetsu snorts, as the boy outpaces them, his small back disappearing around a corner. “For having pretended to be an adolescent boy so long, my dear, you certainly don’t know how to handle them.”

*

Ichii does, of course, need help. The civil service exam may have prepared him for a life of clerical work in honor of the emperor, but there are different expectations for a prince’s aide. A rounded reading list, for one, with a working grasp of both classic shi and the newer fu poetry— a subject that Taihaku bemoans her progress on even now— as well as exemplary skill in the use of the short sword.

Oddly enough, it’s the last that Ichii struggles with.

“He is physically gifted,” Sogetsu hums, squinting over the training yard. “Even though it’s clear he’s never touched a sword save to pass that exam.”

Tenyou-sama shifts on the bench, one arm lazily folded over the pavilion’s rail, watching Taihaku and Ichii trade blows below. Or rather, they would be, if Taihaku didn’t easily side step each of the boy’s swings, delivering a corrective tap to his side. “As all ajin are. I’m sure with a few more months of training, he’ll outstrip Taihaku with ease.”

“Me too.” Sogetsu tilts his head back, grin sharp as his knives. “Looks like it will be up to my dear sister to make sure our newest addition meets his potential.”

“He’s over-committing.” It’s obvious in the way his shoulder reaches with every swing, in how long it takes him to recover his footing with each dodged blow. “Relying too much on strength when he’s fast too. Much more than Taihaku, if only—”

“My my.” Sogestu arches one of his brows, letting it disappear beneath the pale fall of his hair. “Maybe you should be the one down there.”

It’s not an idle suggestion, not one made from innocence and sincerity— no, as much as Rangetsu may love her brother, as much as she would be willing to lay down her entire life to see him alive and safe, she also has learned: Sogetsu never speaks a single syllable without some scheme behind it.

One which is all too clear when Tenyou-sama turns on his bench, glowing in the heat of the sun, and inquires, so innocent, “Oh, yes! Why aren’t you down there, Rangetsu?”

Sogetsu has earned more than the second of scowl she spares him before she replies, “Taihaku said I’d be in the way.”

“Underfoot,” Sogetsu supplies, so helpful. “I believe that was the word he used, sister dear.”

*

Rangestu only means to pass by Tenyou-sama’s office. Really, she does— it’s the most direct path between her chambers and the training yard, and after the kerfuffle in the kitchens today, she’s already late to her standing spar with Sogetsu. She doesn’t even pause when she passes the open doors, skirting around the curtains billowing in the first summer winds, until—

Until Tenyou-sama’s soft words drift through them, inquiring, “How is Ichii progressing?”

It’s hardly any of her business— Ichii’s made it quite clear that she last on his list of aides to beg favors from. Sogetsu might tease, might say, you read a room as well as you read any of the classic poets, but even she knows that she can’t elbow her way into his good graces by will alone.

And yet, she presses herself to the wall, ears perked to hear Taihaku’s buoyant, “Very well, Your Highness.”

Rangetsu frowns. He’d never spoken so glowingly of her accomplishments, as if just the thought of them put a skip in his step. As if they were something to be proud of, rather than grudgingly won.

Even Tenyou-sama seems surprised. “I hadn’t thought you would take so well to being an instructor again. Not after…”

Her.

“Ichii takes to everything like a duck to water,” Taihaku boasts, for once eager to praise. “Poetry, economics, imperial history— his calligraphy is already good enough to use in official correspondence.”

Unlike hers, which was hardly fit for the scrap paper she scrawled it on. Tenyou-sama said she had an endearing hand— a compliment she had taken pride in until Taihaku scoffed, that’s the sort of thing parents tell their child.

“And his martial skills,” Tenyou-sama presses, strangely unsure. “I suppose it might be time to let Rangetsu teach him the better points of—”

“No need, Your Highness.” Taihaku— Taihaku— laughs, deep in his throat, like a pleased parent fondly chiding their favorite child. “I’m happy to handle his training too.”

“Really?” At least Tenyou-sama seems as left-footed as she does. “I would have thought you would be eager to get back to your regular work.”

“And give up my best student?” He snorts. “Not likely.”

*

There’s something wrong with her, she thinks.

She makes it to her spar with Sogetsu, but her hands shake when she picks up a spear, her rolling stomach making the ground beneath her pitch and yaw like a ship’s deck. It fades as she advances toward her brother, chasing his his tail around the yard as if they were children still— he never did quite learn to fight the way he should, more fox than wolf even with a weapon in hand— but a simple kick from him sends her skittering across the clay, painting a bright red streak down the back of her uniform.

Sogestu, for his part, only watches her get to her feet, but his eyes narrow when she puts her back to him, pleading fatigue.

They narrow even further at dinner— taken together, at his insistence— when she only picks at her plate, unable to summon up her usual enthusiasm for the whole grilled fish placed in front of her. By the time Tenyou-sama dismisses them that night, it’s a wonder she can see anything more than a sliver of silver-blue, lingering on her as she stays behind, a soft hand already reaching for hers.

But there is no relief to be found in Tenyou-sama’s touch. No, when he strokes a hand down the bared skin of her arm, the tension beneath it snaps instead of sparks. She’s used to a pleasant hum that follows in the wake of his hands, like the air before a lightning strike, but instead she feels like an erhu strung too tight, the only music he can draw from her sharp and discordant.

He’s disappointed when she begs off his attentions, but spares her a welcome smile when she slips from his arms— and a less helpful kiss, leaving her nerves jangling as she slinks off to her rooms, strangely dissatisfied.

There’s nothing that eases it; not the briskness of the air nor her steps-- not even the palms she rubs down her arms, trying to urge her skin smooth. Something in her is laying at odd angles, and no matter how she sways and jumps, it won’t lay flat, won’t let her go back to the easy routine she’s settled into.

At least it doesn’t until she catches the spill of golden light from beneath Taihaku’s door. He’s up, still, probably poring over reports Tenyou-sama has long set aside. That’s the thing about the fourth prince’s foremost aide: he’s never once learned how to relax—

“Hah!”

Rangetsu jumps, skirting around his door like a skittish cat at a puddle. That had sounded like— like Taihaku. But it’s impossible; he doesn’t laugh at anything save her. And it’s not like that, all bright and bubbly, amused rather than tired—

“Is that your argument?” His tongue keeps tripping, his normally perfect syllables crowded by the laugh he’s barely holding at bay, and it’s strange how her heart pounds with each skipped consonant or strangled vowel. It’s Taihaku, it is, but unfamiliar, and though she knows she must go, she cannot make herself do anything but lean against the wall, drinking it in.

“You’ll have to do better than that,” he insists, more evenly now. “Unless you want to get laughed out of the room before you can make your case.”

Her blood runs cold at the soft voice that squeaks out, “Of course, shifu…”

*

It's just...odd, that's all. Taihaku had always chased her out of his quarters after hours, telling her that he wasn’t her teacher again until morning. Later, she'd learned she could simple bring a bottle and her problems to his door, or sometimes simply sweep in, trapping him in questions before he could think to turn her out, but still--

It’s been hours, and they’re still in there, laughing over— over things. Poetry, probably. Literature, even. All the things Rangetsu could never get the hang of, but Ichii takes to as easy as breathing.

Ichii. Just thinking the name sets a spike through her breast. My best student.

Rangetsu lowers her chin, letting it dig into the flesh of her arm. It's silly, worrying about this. It's been ages since Taihaku called himself her tutor-- I've washed my hands of you, he tells her each time she shows him her attempts at calligraphy, stick to waving around that pole of yours-- no longer just his student, but friends as well. Just because Ichii is good at...at everything doesn't mean he doesn't like her too. It's just--

Well, only one of them is in his room right now, aren't they?

“Oh, my my my.” Sogetsu slips onto the railing next to her, eyebrows already lost behind the sweep of his hair. “It’s hard, isn’t it?”

She frowns. “What is?”

“Why…” His teeth flash in the moonlight. “Not being the favorite anymore.”