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do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up
i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.
she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.
never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-
i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:
okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.
the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page
she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later
so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions
"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"
"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"
Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.
I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.
On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.
Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.
And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.
Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.
Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it
and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks
And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.
(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)
The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.
And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)
I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.
and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured
In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.
(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)
#asks#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#marcille donato#manga panel analysis#this is probably riddled with typos sorry#readmore cut bc it got long lmao#i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me#bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling.#the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her#the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc.#otherwise it just..#literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all#the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level#she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are#she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments#its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up#but who doesn't yknow#i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there#the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards#it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around#she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people#i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but#dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right.#a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all#that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment#the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are#always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home#and dungeon meshi gets that.#edit: cleaned it up a little
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no!!!!!! 8 episodes will kill patient!!!!!!!! he needs 12-24 episodes some of which is light-hearted filler to live!!!!!!!!!!!!
#this was about shows in general but dw is on my mind#like the new season was so fawking good but oh my god it's so heavy. hrgh#I know this isnt the fault of the ppl making the show it's just that fucking everything has to be 8 episodes now#well stop!!!! please!!!!!!!!! aaaa!!!!!!!!#15 clearly going thru it yelling and crying in the upcoming christmas special WOULD be exciting but that's also the#plot of every single episode in the preceding season...#i dont think him being miserable at christmas is bad in fact it's great. im saying the absence of the#5 episodes that would've been 0 stakes fun adventures is making itself very very felt and obvious#like imagine season 4 which is already pretty much just unending misery WITHOUT the few fun fillers we get. lethal and#not in a good way. sometimes you need to breathe!!!#that does not excuse pl.anet of the d.ead being ass but yknow. at least it doesn't make me cry for an hour#doctor who#dw text#barking
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Act 3 (But why did they look so...?)
We finally got to the comic that actually made me think about this AU in the first place. After I was mulling around the idea of Loop looking like Siffrin the whole time, I realised that the conversation of "who or what do you think I am?" doesn't apply anymore. But you know what would?
The question of why Loop is even here in the first place. Because while it's nice to have another you around to help you out of the loops, isn't it weird that they're even here? Who sent them?
... and what was with their response?
#In Stars and Time#ISAT#ISAT Spoilers#ISAT Siffrin#ISAT Loop#ISAT AU#two coins same side au#comic#illustration#digital art#artists on tumblr#fan art#the creativity process#TCSS AU#id in alt#cw eye contact#tw eye contact#if it was actually in-game i'd imagine siffrin gets the One chance to answer and thats it#but i wanted to show some of the few options siffrin could potentially say without showing ALL of them#basically the choices still follow beat for beat as the who/ what am i convo (except for the ghost answer which wouldn't be there)#though loop's answers are different (please ask me about em its too long to put in the tags)#but yeah. loop would Not take the correct answer well because. yknow#they did Technically make that wish huh. and i guess in that sense they Did want to help siffrin#but that doesn't take the hurt of thousands of loops away now does it?#especially when you're helping a copy of yourself escape. loop canonically does not take it well after all.#EDIT: accidentally bungled the pronouns for the change god!! it's been fixed now!!
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we got a lot in common...
#everyone knows that cloud is a horse girl. but have you considered:#cloud who's had a really hard time making friends and relating to people his whole life#and then he realizes that chocobos are the only thing that comes naturally to him.#chocobo warks and flaps its wings and cloud warks back and flaps his arms. yknow.#how hard it is for him to have to leave the birds behind and go back to being around people and doing responsible human things#when really all he wants is to feel like he belongs.#chocobos don't demand favors and emotional labor. they don't care if cloud doesn't smile much or have anything to say. they love him anyway.#(it's the autism. if that wasn't obvious)#(it's cloud autism strife.)#(it's also possibly me projecting HARD. whoopsie daisy)#ahem. anyway#ffvii#cloud strife#chocobo#my art <3
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If you have time, may you please draw some scout wearing a bunny suit while in a match?
...and also probably sniper's reaction to it..
Normal latex bunny suit is kinda boring, so I tried designing some sport related Scout's bunny suit cosmetic and this is how it turned up
And Sniper's reaction!!!
#scout wears a hood since he originally was supposed to wear a hoodie#but i scrapped this idea to make the outfit more open like a traditional bunny suit#but i liked the idea of hood with a bow so i left the way it is#hop top name is actually a mix of “crop top” and “hop” since yknow he can jump#short bun is a mix of “shorts” and “bunny/bun(like his tail)”#and hare hopper fits since hopper is a way to name a person who fastly travels from one area to another#the longears doesn't need explanation#team fortress 2#tf2#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2 fanart#tf2 scout#tf2 sniper#sniperscout#speeding bullet
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it always gets me when ppl try to paint timkon as nerd/jock. like i mean you could, but here's the thing. tim is the jock. kon is the nerd.
#rimi talks#tim ''enjoys going to ballgames'' drake vs kon ''will physically drop dead if he doesn't infodump about star trek'' el.#now granted like the dichotomy isnt ACTUALLY all that fitting (as many dichotomies aren't really) bc like. kon loves to surf#and tim IS a dork-ass loser who geeks out about gadgets machines and especially cars#but i mean if anyone's gonna start infodumping about biophysics it's kon. he doesnt even know he's explaining masters-level shit#hes just like yeah this is how everyone at cadmus talked all the time so i picked it up lol!#but between the two of them tim is SOOO much sportier lbr#of course. to realize this you'd have to think critically beyond hurr durr the taller broader one MUST be a jock. but yknow.#timkon
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Prompt 85
Dan is very grumpy. He’s not pouting, despite what the others would claim, he’s brooding. How many times were they going to get de-aged?! And this time they were all clones! He did not sign up for reincarnation, nor for getting turned into a literal baby.
He doesn’t care if this world has heroes or villains or whatever, he’s going to bite the next person to pick him up. Happily if it’s one of the scientists currently scrambling around as alarms go off.
Though he’ll happily do the same to the new colorful people too. Honestly he’s just feeling particularly violent, and it’s not like he can murder with his tiny baby hands. At least his so-called siblings look just as ready to attack as he does.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#clone fenton siblings#No idea who all of their doners are#But one is definitely Martian Manhunter#He can't fully read them but the babies feel angry and violent when first picked up before settling#food helps#how long does it take before human babies can eat solid foods#YKNOW WHAT#What would be *hilarious*#If the siblings are clones of Martian Manhunter and Batman#Where the one child's fire powers came from they aren't too sure but there was some experimentation done so#Jordan doesn't say#Jazz is delighting in the natural passive empathy being upgraded to mind reading#Dani is going to be such a gremlin with shapeshifting#Danny wasn't happy about the reincarnation until Alien then he got excited#Oh their other dad is rich- ew- but wait! He has a space station you say...?#prompts
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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like, i think that neon white is obviously gunning for the 'embrace your inner cringe' ethos, but it doesn't work for me because my cringe middle school self wasn't drawing edgy half-demon half-vampire anime twinks with 100 belts, she was sneering at those people for not understanding that Real Art was writing a 10,000 word dictionary for your conlang for your fantasy world thats Like DND But Better (twice as many types of elves and the roman empire is there)
#tattletxt#and obviously in case the subtext is not clear enough this is not saying that one of these is better than the other yknow#just articulating why this specific homage to a specific subculutre doesn't speak to me#similar to stuff like vylet pony or the sparkledog renaissance--i think this could be a powerful reclamation of a certain moment in culture#for somebody who is v. much not me
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let's talk about pino!
according to the whm booklet, rody's quirk is always active. she isn't always present, though. from what we can see in the movie, pino primarily nests in rody's hair!
so... is there a trend?
obviously she hops out when a strong emotion flares up, but it seems like she's also more likely to be out and about when he's feeling relatively safe/comfortable? she's present when he says goodbye to his siblings, she's present when they're settling down for that first night on the run, she's present when they're in the hotel, etc. etc.
there are only a few times where pino is present during an action scene. the first instance is, of course, during the first chase scene when she flew out to stop deku. she briefly remained out, notifying rody that they were still being chased before disappearing. she appears again when he's going down the rail, disappears, and then comes out of his hair again to check on him after he was almost crushed by falling debris.
pino was not present during the attempted betrayal. after leading deku to him, we can presume that, offscreen, she returned to his hair or went into his hood. the next time she comes out is when rody finally warms up to deku in the cave scene.
it's also worth noting that she is not present during the following villain encounter, only coming out for introductions when their safety was guaranteed.
honestly, the only time we actually see pino in harm's way is during the battle with flect, and that was because rody relied on her to not only signal deku, but to catch the flash drive.
why am i talking about this? well, and this is a far-fetched assumption that's going to get into more headcanon/character interpretation territory, but hear me out:
pino is very similar to something from another property: the daemons from his dark materials. for anyone unaware: daemons are the physical manifestation of a person's soul and take the form of an animal. they mirror the way their human interacts with others and can provide emotional insight into how their human is feeling, which is... like i said before, VERY similar to how pino functions.
with this in mind, one has to wonder if their similarities end there or if, potentially, pino shares some other functionalities as a daemon. namely... if pino gets hurt, can rody feel it?
i know that her main function as a quirk is to articulate rody's feelings. still, her tendency to stay out of harm's way really makes you think, especially since we don't see her get injured at any point. little roughed up, sure! but not injured.
#cosmic chatter#rody soul#pino#bnha#blorbo tag#undescribed#sorry if it doesn't really seem like i go anywhere or if its more rambley#i got my covid+flu vaccines yesterday and im Still feeling it mr krabs#anyways i have a lot of thoughts regarding pino and esp on her being functionally a daemon#i dont have much of a case for it but personally i dont think she can get too far from him either?#like the furthest she gets is during his attempted betrayal but like#he carries pino with him down to the room to defuse the bombs#i mean rody also cares abt pino and i intend on making a separate post abt that#pino is his other sister who just happens to be a bird. to me#the point is i think its interesting if. like a daemon. she cant get that far from him#i dont think itd KILL him (like it does in hdm) but i think itd affect him in some way yknow yknow
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Yknow, I feel like Dick not fighting back against the mistreatment of him during the Spyral arc (perpetrated by the batfamily) isn't super surprising from a trauma lens, at least not to me.
I've seen people tend to argue that Dick should've and would've fought back, and I'm definitely not arguing otherwise- but why DIDN'T he fight back??
Personally, to me, his behavior strikes me as fawning. He's not arguing against the shitty things the batfamily does to him or say about him, if anything he's agreeing with them. I could probably really look back over how he acts in B&R: Eternal, but from what I remember, he feels very people pleasing.
And imo this isn't super surprising? Especially if what happened in Nightwing #30 is still fresh in his mind, not to mention Spyral breaking him down and the others lashing out at him, physically and verbally. These things are very traumatizing, and would've changed him most likely. His trauma response being to fawn here makes sense; he Needs the others to work with him, and fighting them on something they won't budge on will only get him hurt. Not only that, but physical punishment seems to be a very real consequence at this time, and Dick is likely in survival mode.
If fawning means he can get his job done and not be physically punished, then it makes the most sense for him to go that route, as sad as it is. His trauma response moving from fight(?) to fawn would be a really interesting thing to explore. After all, Dick said things wouldn't be the same, but we don't know WHAT would change, or if it would even be for the better (since people seem to interpret that to mean 'I'm leaving after this' or similar, which is fair tbh but that statement can mean a multitude of things).
Overall, regardless of how in character it is, I think Dick turning to fawning makes sense in this situation. Being beaten by your father and then repeatedly physically and verbally assaulted by the rest of your family is deeply traumatizing, not to mention everything that is Spyral. If Dick can minimize the damage to himself as much as possible and finish the mission, then it makes sense for him to fawn.
#felix (host)#dick grayson#dc comics#dc#batfam#batfamily#batman#Nightwing#spyral#dick grayson analysis#dick grayson meta#this is just how i read Dicks behavior during that arc#and it makes me miserable tbh#it just reads as like. someone in survival mode#someone who doesn't want to or doesn't have the energy to fight#or doesn't want to be the target of said fighting#maybe I'm projecting but#i do the exact same shit Dick does here#and for me it's all bc i don't have the energy to fight n i don't want to be targeted again#that sort of thing takes a LOT out of you#and Dick dealing with being the scapegoat on top of everything Spyral?#yeah no fucking wonder he fawns lol#esp if being hurt is a real possibility in his mind#just. idk i saw a lot of myself in the times Dick didn't fight#Dick on a normal or good day definitely would've fought i think!#but uhh this is a time where hes being actively traumatized and he's likely in a rlly bad place#it's just easier not to fight at that point yknow?#idk i hope this makes sense loll
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Braig / Xigbar
#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#braig#xigbar#my gif#his pointy shoulders deflated with age#...do you ever wonder about his scarf?#radiant garden took pride in its beauty and ansem the wise was a ruler who was beloved and admired by his people (despite... yknow)#so is it safe to assume that being a guard of this world being tasked with protecting the castle/its ruler/and the townspeople-#would be considered a prestigious occupation?#yet we see braig wearing an old tattered scarf#it's a curious addition to his uniform that looks out of place among other guards#i dont think it was added to his design to help him stand out because cmon it's not like he's competing for relevance with dilan and aeleus#braig fights from afar with his guns it's not like he's some scrappy guy that might have messy clothes from battle#i wouldn't be surprised if this was ephemer's scarf that he somehow came into possession of#and is holding onto it with the possibly of it being used as some kind of medium/waypoint#who's to say he's not still wearing it under his organization coat? just because we can't see it anymore doesn't mean it's gone#riku had an entirely different outfit under his own organization coat so who knows what xigbar has under there#i like to think braig used to be scolded for wearing the scarf because it covers up the uniform's emblem#and wearing old ripped articles of clothing isn't part of the image the guards would presumably have to uphold#but eventually they gave up on making him take it off because he just does whatever he wants#just something i think about from time to time#xigbar has always been so mysterious and cryptic i can't help but keep an extra close eye on him#especially since he's been revealed to be so much more than what he seems. who knows what tricks he has up his sleeve#i don't think it's outside the realm of possibility
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Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.
It's a running joke, really.
And it helps. It really does. Because Alfred is a constant, and the thought of losing him is a terrifying thing, isn't it?
Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.
It's a running joke, really.
When Bruce's hairs start going grey. When his bones ache just a little more than they normally do. Alfred's still there. And so they laugh over it, just a little. They joke that he's going to outlive them.
Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.
Isn't that a good thing, this little joke?
He's got contingencies, after all. Preparations. So the family can take care of themselves when he's gone. Notes and books. Reminders. He worries, after all. What they'll do when he's gone.
Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.
Isn't that a good thing?
Generations after generations of Waynes. And he'll be there. To watch over the children. To be a steady constant.
Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.
But Bruce Wayne is not.
What does it mean to outgrow your young charge? To watch him go into danger. To watch him don a suit and fight.
No parent should watch their child die of old age.
But you do anyway.
Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.
But none of his children are.
#kkposting#writing#i guess#alfred pennyworth#alfred pennyworth is immortal#immortality#idk i just saw this person put down alfred's age as immortal#and i was like. YEAH!! BASED!!#and then i was like. hm.#how many children will he lose#how many generations of wayne will alfred look after#yknow#how many does he have to care for and protect knowing he will outlive them#at first he doesn't.#he doesn't know#but then bruce#alfred pennyworth is immortal but is that really a good thing#maybe#possibly#it could be a good thing. but it'd still sting#losing them. it'd sting wouldn't it#i think of old gods and their favourite mortals and that kind of thing#and like. it's. painful. for him esp if he believed himself to be mortal and#did i mischaracterise alfred?? who knows#i sure don't#tee hee
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it is sooo very interesting they cast a 36 year old man to play the 20 year old version of a character whose book counterpart has a plotline that follows him from when hes 20 to 32 years old, isn't it... or it could mean nothing and we'll never see him again
#i have to say this is the biggest piece of evidence to me that lbf IS coming back as young daniel#for more flashbacks i mean. i dont presume to know whats in said flashbacks#because it seems to me they wanted someone who not only looked the part and could act well#but also someone who can play a character through his 20s and his 30s#and really it doesn't HAVE to be a dm thing it could be flashbacks for other reasons yknow i can take my goggles off for a second#oh and i know actors ages dont have to match up with their characters of course its just in this case it feels like it was on purpose#iwtv#daniel molloy
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So I l’ve been getting into your ko crisis story lately (it all sounds rlly awesome btw) and i was curious - you’ve said in the tags in a previous ask that ash is comphet, so is that gonna play a major role in her character arc/journey in any way?
Yeah, the story basically covers her journey of redefining her identity as a queer Asian-American disabled woman in a sports-entertainment industry, which is a media landscape that specifically targets, exploits, and fetishizes people like her.
#ask me#itsthequeercryptid#i don't have much more to say on this cuz as of right now it's in like. early early development process and i'm not a queer woman so#i don't have much authority to say how i want this part of the story to go. even if it's my story i don't wanna set anything in stone yknow#but like. ashley's arc is realizing that she's been performing to appease people both in and out of her life. as both a daughter and a#pro boxer. and that she shouldn't have to force herself to be someone she's not. which in the story continuously hurts her#she doesn't need to validate her existence and find worthiness as a disabled and queer woman#especially to other people#one story beat i drafted is that ashley nearly gets s/a'd by a potential agent (keep in mind the project's inspired by psychological dramas#thrillers like utena and perfect blue) and it's one of the first big moments that causes her to have a crisis of identity#growing less and less comfortable in her skin - both organic and nonorganic - as she realizes how her body is perceived/ exploited/#/objectified as a vehicle for inflicting and absorbing violence. both physical and sexual. especially by men#and near the end of the story the beat is reflected/flipped when she comes together with noora and it's gentle and intimate#but again this is all very iffy. i'm not sure how appropriate this would be as a male writer.#i'm waiting to work with other writers who are more knowledgable on this before moving forward with anything
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Thinking of phil dyeing everything green while dan was away and... they can never break up neither of them would be able to survive it
as much as i clown on people who think they're just living together as exes i do think that's what they'd have to do if they ever broke up. like as fucking if they would survive without each other they would lose their minds in an instant
#pretend this doesn't sound incestuous i don't mean it like that but:#dan and phil are like those twins who do everything together and grow up unable to be apart#cause they just haven't ever learned how to exist without the other#the twins who still live together at 60 yknow#answered
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