#but where is he has anyone seen him
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I miss Him
#sifo-dyas#sifo-dyas coded post#just took a two day break from drafts to rest my brain#but where is he has anyone seen him#is he well#almost certainly not#⛏️⛏️⛏️
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Your silent protagonist doesn't have to use sign language btw. They don't have to write things down, either. They don't have to use language at all. Not every single person who doesn't talk can use words the same as you, or use them at all, so your favorite silent character shouldn't have to use what you consider a grammatical language to communicate in your fanart and fics. AAC exists. Drawing exists. Gestures and body language exist. Btw.
#i said ''your silent protagonist'' bc i feel like that'd hit close with the most people but i truly mean anyone that doesn't talk#ive seen it happen SO MANY TIMES its like ''this character never uses oral words'' and every post about them ignores it or uses sign#or they already have their own language or their language difficulties have been addressed and it STILL HAPPENS. like cassandra cain#who's like me.#inumaki toge#link#link loz#loz#legend of zelda#trainer red#champion red#red pokemon#HES MY FAVORITE HIS SPEECH ARC RESEMBLES MINE SO CLOSELY#pokemon rgby#pokemon hgss#ik sun/moon and usum are there too. so many tags#controversial one here probably but#chell#portal#cass cain#cassandra cain#batgirl#batman#fandom ableism#:)))))))))))#NOT AN EXAMPLE BC IT'S LITERALLY THE COMICS WHO MADE HIM THIS WAY BUT#JONO STARSMORE#language disorder#bi rambles#ive seen exactly one fic where red has an LD. my lifeblood. also shoutout peaks and valleys for his writing difficulties. ask me abt red pls
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"Macaque, you're you! The real you!"
"The only me!"
So let it be known I love Sonicc >:)
#has anyone else seen sonic prime?#season 2 was so good omg#i have a bunch of screenshots i plan to redraw with lego monkies and kids#hehe#yknow how this one would be in a scenario?#imagine like an au where wukong was trapped in Macaque's shadow portals and kept encountering his shadow clones#and the moment he finds the real him in there he runs to hug him saying “I finally found you!”#shadowpeach ugh#i hate them#(i love them)#sonadow too#man why were they so gay#lmao#lmk#lego monkie kid#lego monkey kid fanart#monkie kid#macaque#lmk six eared macaque#sun wukong#lmk macaque#lmk monkey king#shadowpeach#sonic prime#sonadow#au idea maybe? idk#art#nounaarts
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RE: Your post on the AU of Jimmy being in the cockpit rather than Curly.
I think that Curly would think that Jimmy was reaping what he had sown, but in a way would feel a twisted sense of relief that Jimmy was brought down by his own actions rather than Curly himself having to be the "executioner" in the situation, so to speak.
With "taking responsibility" and the fix-it mentality that he and Jimmy share being the overarching theme, compounded with Jimmy flat out insinuating that all of his crimes on the Tulpar will be "Curly's tragedy" in that one scene, I think Curly would almost find comfort in the irony that the choice was forcibly taken away from him. Which in itself is messed up, but it might be a bit cathartic. There's an interesting polarizing dynamic within Curly's relationship to his own responsibility in that it's his greatest burden and the thing he, too, avoids the most.
I don't think Curly would find any relief in this actually. While Curly didn't/doesn't like the responsibility he had, he defiantly doesn't avoid it, he just goes about it in a weird way.
A thing I noticed is that its less about taking responsibility with Curly and really what that responsibility meant objectively and then subjectively to Curly. The leniency that he applies to Jimmy also applies a bit to the others as well. He thinks his responsibility is more towards keeping the peace and things in order more than dolling out punishment. He has even more choices to make and responsibilities as he literally has to make sure they survive/ration long enough to be saved. Or figure out how to save them himself. The correct issue with Curly and responsibility is the prioritization in his head. He sees the big picture and prioritizes that. He doesn't notice the little things that he should but it's not a active dismissal, perhaps not even conscious despite how dismissive he seemed. He takes too much responsibility, espcially in regards to Jimmy, and I think this situation is when he realizes that is also a bad thing as he can't "fix" all of his wrongs.
I think he'd regret not making a choice, because in the end this happened because he wouldn't directly choose who to comfort and help. He tried to help both and ended up doing nothing for either and letting Jimmy fuck them all over. In this scenario/au he's thinking about all the times he let Jimmy inadvertently make his choice, and how he chose to let it happen. He regrets all of it and would be so bitter that he was giving his choice up for so long. He chose wrong and it affected everyone. The only thing he'd find cathartic is the fucked up truth it will never happen again, not with Jimmy at least.
But he's not happy he's getting joy from that. I think it's a point not a single character other than Jimmy is depicted at deriving joy from another's pain. Even Swansea is being more sarcastic when he cheers on Curly about crashing the ship and ending his sobriety. He's happy Jimmy was forced to take responsibility, but this? He wanted him to learn a lesson and do something with himself, this is hollow in a way it's just embittering. Jimmy didn't get what he wanted, he can be happy about that but no one else did. This isn't justice or closure for Anya, he's stuck in a place he was so desperate to leave with even more pressure on his shoulders. Daisuke is just a kid and Swansea doesn't deserve this after all his year making himself a better man.
Like in his sections, Curly is preoccupied thinking about all the responsibilities he has, taking on things he shouldn't have to and trying to keep the peace when he doesn't have peace in his own mind.
#i think the idea that Curly did nothing is both true and also not for he did something but it was nothing in the bigger picture for Anya#he put himself between her and Jimmy but that just prolongs the ineviabiliy of their interactions when he cant hence the seen where she tol#Jimmy. He thought he was helping by being honest but it just made Jimmy panic harder and flip on him because Jimmy doesnt plan like Curly o#anyone else does for that matter hes so short term. Curly also is in a way but its also hes concerned with the long term to far away#either way he did nothing for Anya directly which is the problem as hes not direct in social situations while Jimmy is overly direct to put#it lightly. I think the irony is more so in the fact that he understand the dead pixel now and can't choose not to see it. rather than any#thing with Jimmy choosing to do this. It's like the point is he has to kinda be the person he was to Jimmy but to deserving people and#realizing how bad their dyanmic was and not to fall into the same placating behaviors and maybe prioritize his choices because in a way Jim#already took away his choice by doing literally anything he did in the story because the only choice would have been to punish Jimmy atp bu#hoped he could find a better option backfired then and it still backfired now#ask#enigminho#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
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so god forbid i’m seen just as an average human being
#bill cipher#andrew kryptos#gravity falls#not gonna tag flatland because it seems too tangentially related but you guys get why i draw their mortal designs grayscale and victorian#for anyone going 'what's going on with baby bill's chest???' that's a victorian scoliosis brace#they're mostly covered by clothes usually but with a low collar you would be able to see parts of it#i usually translate his mild irregularity to scoliosis#just realized there's no full drawing of canon era bill in his stupid used car salesman suit. ah well#just know the jacket has a smilar triangle shape to the jacket he wears in the last flatland era drawing and has triangle buttons#you guys have seen it i posted that design before#a good portion of these drawings is just me going 'hee hee victorian fashion fun.' loved drawing andy's stupid big coat#also-- if you notice there's a jump in bill's clothing quality from the pictures where he's around 8 to the one where he's a teen#that's chuck's doing. he was like 'well if you're going to work in a tailor shop you should look the part >:('#and bought bill a 'uniform' so he had some nicer clothes. bill's folks don't really bother getting him nicer clothes most of the time#but if someone else is paying they won't turn it down and he picked up on that
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New Fernando outfit dropped !! He looks like a s'more....
#i really fuck w this one ngl#i reallllyyyyy like the cohesiveness of the colors!!#idk what i would say the vibe of it is but i like it a lot!#i wanna draw this one maybe 🤔 unfortunately im p busy atm#god it sucks looking at media day pics of him bcs his 'entering the paddock' outfit usually slays#but then the vast majority of the pics are of his changed outfit#where hes often wearing thw most horrendous shoes and sunglasses ive ever seen djkfkglg#well anyways. id probably wear this so :)#idk if anyone has posted these yet#so i might as well bcs i rly like the clothes! its so hard to keep track of the schedule during this gp cause the timezone is so far ahead#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2024 australian gp
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I feel like we dont talk about one of the main reasons nico was ostracized at camp, not just because hes a son of hades.
Camp half blood is small enough so that rumors and information spread fast, but that doesn't mean they are always right. So imagine you're a random camper, and you're told nico, one of the new campers, gets in a big fight with Percy. During which he makes skeletons appear and somehow opens a huge crack in the floor. But percy wins and nico leaves camp.
Don't you think it would've rang a bell?
Don't you think it would've reminded them too much of two summers ago, with luke?
Dont you think everyone would've been even more scared, because now they know nico is a child of hades, one of the big three, and therefore very powerful?
There must have been so many rumors that summer of nico being part of the kronos army. Betraying camp just like luke did.
Of course after the battle of manhattan many people would've changed their minds. Hes in their side now, after all. But there are probably still many campers who think nico left them to join luke, before he changed their mind and helped them win against luke and kronos. People who still hold a grudge against him for joining the "enemy".
#i havent read the battle of the labyrinth in a while so aorry if this gets cleared up by then#ive never really seen anyone talk about this#nico being a son of hades cant be the only reason hes not well liked by camp#of course hes just emo and traumatized and thinks everyone hates him when they dont but i dont think he was exactly popular at camp#and also this has been in my mind for a few days#i just love nico hes so sad and traumatized#my poor little guy#he got misjudged by so many people for a out of context rumor that got changed and twisted as it spread#obviously at first percy told the truth to chiron and annabeth andnother people who came to ask “yo what happened with the new kid”#(will definitely asked him) (he met nico in the infirmary and had a crush on him since)#i mean everyone must have been curious as to why the floor of the dining pavillion was all broken#but as rumors do it just turned into a broken telephone situation where the story got more and more dramatic#if you asked some (very exaggerated)people they would tell you he tried to kill percy and he was actually sent by luke to camp#percy jackson#pjo#camp half blood#heroes of olympus#nico di angelo#solangelo#pjo headcanon#percy series
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bonus lee viorel warmup from over a month ago bc I keep holding out on y'all
#my art#mine#my ocs#viorel#unsure whether to put this in the pressure tickles tag or not...#those are painter's hands btw lmfao#between all of them painter gives him the hardest time (because they work as a team the most)#imo viorel's dynamic with the monsters is the most interesting of all my ocs because#he doesn't get romantically involved with Anyone until after the escape#there are a few moments of homoerotic tension (he catches sebastian emerging from water once and has a Moment)#(and both of them are smokers. to save fob fuel they do that thing where you light one cig with another)#(and they swear up and down that there's nothing gay Abt it but everyone who's seen it is just. doing that the rock eyebrow raise at them)#but like overall his dynamic with seb painter and eyefest is platonic and based on the need to survive#before all else
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n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
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wait. puss in boots rei? unfulfilled dream? as.. as in. kinda like. a last wish.? like. the last puss in boots movie.? perrito garu?????
#OK BUT ANYONE WHO HAS SEEN THE LAST PUSSBOOTS MOVIE. YOU CAN SEE IT RIGHT??#THE REI WHO HAS LOST ALMOST ALL 9 OF HIS LIVES AND A GOOD BOY GARU TO KEEP HIM GROUNDED??#garu who has been thru the horrors but still maintains his loving upbeat demeanour#who would throw him away. 😢 no. we take the gkaru and we cherish them#seriously my folktale knowledge is so lacking. there has to be an actual story rei is based on yes?#mumbles while reading the wiki article... helps his commoner master marry a princess? awhua???#does that sound like something rei would want? hm. curious#i'll sit in my delusional world where rei puss in boots is the one with perrito and scawwy cool death wolf#my mind briefly entertained the idea of eiden as kitty softpaws but i couldn't imagine him fighting alongside rei at equal swordsmanship#....does REI have good swordsmanship? is he even a fighter? or is he more the type to throw flaming potions from afar#anyway yes eiden can be a street-smart smart alecky cat but can he fence? no? then no kitty softpaws for now#garu helping rei come down from a panic attack 🥺#rei has no feather on his cap. it is JUST Father. he looks like a feather until he unfurls his true form and becomes the orb atop the cap#nu carnival garu#nu carnival rei
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i think it’s so cute how walton just refers to baby billy as baby in his instagram posts. like it’s just adorable.
he’s so precious i love him to death.
#and has anyone seen that post where he and danny run into each other in italy and he just refers to him as his nephew the whole post#walton is god’s gift to the world#walton goggins#baby billy freeman#danny mcbride#the righteous gemstones#tal#OLD INSTAGRAM POST BTW THIS IS NOT FOR SEASON 4!!
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just reread whump au for the nth time now, and it suddenly occurred to me what in god's name would've happened if dipper just straight up kicked the bucket right after saying, "i love you."
i can't imagine bill's reaction would've been a good one. i'm getting chills just trying to picture it, honestly.
in fact, just the image of dipper dying in general, and seeing the aftermath of that from bill's pov, has my whole body breaking out into goosebumps.
awesome.
also, let's just assume that bill hasn't yet figured out the whole reincarnation thing in this scenario aha
(i just really like angst okay? lmao)
Oh man, Bill? Oh Bill. Bill.
He would be very, very upset.
Also this is a good opportunity for the ol' classic:
#answers#There's probably a short time where he's too stunned to have a response#Which is *very* rare for Bill; he's old as hell - literally! - and seen and done pretty much everything#This of course can't last long. Bill is a being of *action*. And rage.#Bill is not taking this lying down#He's not taking this AT ALL what BULLSHIT is THIS#He didn't even get a DECADE with this mortal and what he's just GONE??? BULLSHIT#NO CHANCE NOT HAPPENING NOPE NOPE NO FUCK THAT#If the multiverse thought Bill during their 'break' was bad this is going to be orders of magnitude worse#He's experienced something he never thought he'd ever feel and never *ever* thought would be felt for him in turn#It was strange and disgustingly domestic. Grossly wibbly soft and chokingly *Sweet* with this lovely rivalry ganache#Something he won't - can't - continue on throughout the ages without. Not after he knows what it's *like*#Nothing's gonna match *that* again. Barely a decade damn it and it just. Just went. *poof*.#And FUCK THAT#The soul has to be somewhere. Lots of people can build a body. There's solutions#And if anyone or anyTHING stands in his way he's going to get rid of it without even stopping to monologue or gloat#Bill's got a mission and no psychopomp or demon or god is going to stand in his way of reclaiming what's his#Even if he has to go on a full-on quest for it. Tearing a path through the multiverse#He is GOING to get him BACK#Dipper's Last Words are going to have a greater effect than he could have imagined#Because with those ringing in Bill's brain he's not going to ever *stop*#Narratively speaking it'd be the most Character Development for Bill to exhaust his violent means#And have to bargain with someone#(Probably the Axolotl)#The biggest challenge Bill has ever or will ever face: Going up to someone. Hat in hand. And saying *please*
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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I don't think any well written work with unreliable narrators can be understood if you're disregarding everything from those narrators— understanding where and why they're unreliable is key. That requires discernment rather than bright line rules.
Otherwise, the narrators wouldn't be unreliable. They'd be reliably dishonest, and that wouldn't make for a compelling or relatable story.
#like if you think dazai or vanitas are always lying you are not paying attention#they both have cues and tells#and the supporting characters are legends/keys to understanding when and where theyre dis/honest#kafka asagiri has explicitly littered dazai's tells throughout the series but theyre not hidden#and then i havent seen anyone else with my vnc theory but it's been so far reliable for reconciling vanitas's behavior#but it's only a theory for now#so instead the more reliable key is where noé discusses his motives#and in moments of chaos and panic#vanitas will reveal something he. shouldnt know. but does. contextualizing him a little more each time.
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the most gorgeous man I've ever known sent me a drunk voice message hurt that i left my job at the bar he goes to without telling him and adding that he saw me on tv speaking about palestine, which turned into me telling my ex boss to give him my number, and the sober voice message was much worse because this sweet guy just tells me that he's so proud of me and then i can feel him like talking with a constricted throat saying he understands that i left and closes with "from the river to the sea" and doesn't it just suck that some things have no hope of ever beginning and yet still end somehow
#there is literally no way something could have come of it he lives in that pub and i don't want to go back there#he has addiction problems and I never had a relationship with anyone#it still sucks that these are facts cause i liked him a lot. and also im not kidding when i say he is the hottest dude I've ever seen.#this is maybe the first time i wish i was heterosexual and/or have less impulse control#radio live transmission#sorry over sharing again cause the psychologist still has to tell me when the first appointment will be#(they kinda also told me i dont really need one which is funny bc the first time i try not to do things alone in my life#bc im pretty sure this hyper self reliant and aloof behavior might be a problem and im told actually im doing splendid.#i won at therapy ig)#also i told everyone there that i moved back home because im a lying liar and#thank god he still hasn't done the math that he saw me on tv still in turin#ive had Cold as Ice by the Foreigners playing on loop the entire day trying to get back in character#like. you'd think if i HAVE to experience something close to heartbreak then at least i could have had sex with the#hottest guy in the city. no. i just get the half assed symptoms of it after having conversations with him every weekend for three months#ranging from his cocaine addiction to police violence to the one time he was staring at nothing by the store room where i went to pick stuf#and he offered to take me to miami and i panicked and joked that he didnt have the money and left.#this sucks.
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Wednesday: "Enid is not my girlfriend!"
Enid: *whispers* "Not yet"
Wednesday: "Excuse me?"
Enid: "NOTHING!"
Yoko: *forehead smack*
#oml#enid#just#omg#i can't with you#also#wednesday#don't deny enid#we all know that you'd kill for her#and you probably have#coz has anyone seen#ajax#like where is he?#did wednesday#take care of him#i think so#oh well#he's out of the picture#at least#now just need to handle#xavier#but i think#that it's enid's turn#wednesday addams#enid sinclair#wenclair#wenclair cult
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