#but when the thoughts get written down then what if they change

[eldritch-spouse]

Imagine someone finding a super old summoning book that contains the rituals for some low level demons you even find one for a demon called sand-tea? (Even funnier if set during King!Santi)

[Can you imagine he recently ascended to the throne of Lust under Adrul's orders and he hasn't even had time to properly change sigilry. Everything's a mess and he's so tired.]

Santi is in the middle of preparing for a meeting with Prince Adrul when it happens.

His eyes widen and he scrabbles to take hold of the former King's large vanity, before a rift all but sucks him into interaction with an unforseen client...

Now that he's an Icon, the amount of space he gets to pass through and reach a summoned location is almost alien, causing Santi to nearly stumble when it closes behind him.

Everything is amiss.

He finds himself in a circle that no longer holds the power it should over him, the offering for this request is definitely not even close to that of an Icon's demand. It would certainly require more people, not just one scantily clad human, holding a dusty grimoire.

It only takes an awkward second for him to put it together, and he sighs.

Umbothered by your face of complete and utter confusion -Some blend of terror and helpless arousal- or the circle, for that matter, Santi reaches over to snag the book from your hands, combing eyes over the page.

" Hmmn... "

Just what the demon thought. This was written shortly after he ascended to high-rank. He supposes not enough time has passed for his nature to truly reflect his status. It's only a matter of time before these instructions no longer suffice to reach him. Let's not take any chances though.

The newly-crowned King casts a vaguely patronizing, affectionate glance down at you. So silly, so unlucky, got a bit more than what you bargained for, didn't you?

" Oh love, I so regret to inform you, but this little book of yours is quite outdated. "

He watches you blink, having no time to speak before Santi grips the page, swiftly tearing it off, forcing the candle flames to burst alive so that he can burn the information to a crisp.

When the fire falls back, you have taken several shaky steps away. The lack of recognition in your eyes betrays you still don't know what you're facing. Poor thing.

" Well come now, I'm not mad at you. " He smiles invitingly, sitting lazily so that his size no longer keeps you glued to the wall, like a trapped mouse. " How could I be? Cute summoners always get the best of me. " Lie.

You make the mistake of looking into his dark-lashed eyes for just a second too long, a shiver of intense delight lifting the hairs on your skin.

" ... Hello? " A little surge of bravery makes you walk forward.

Santi thinks it might just be that you don't want to appear weak in front of him, or that you haven't yet realized he's inside the circle to make you feel safer more than anything.

" Hello. " He parrots. " My love, you've gotten yourself an audience with the new King of Lust. "

He heard the way your spit caught in your throat.

You believe him, Santi can see it in your eyes.

" I- But I- I didn't mean- I'm so sorry- "

Your flustered babbling has the great demon tilting a heavy horned head, savoring the way you fumble and fight to form thoughts at the mere sight of him. Partially his fault, Santi hasn't had the time to properly learn to contain his newfound pheromone intensity.

" I know, I know. You've never summoned anything quite like me before. It's a lot. " The Icon's tone is soothing and merciful, arms parting as if to embrace you when he curls a finger. " Come closer. "

The silk in his voice, somewhere between pleading and forceful, leaves you no room to deny the monster.

Self-preservation makes your bare feet halt at the edge of the insignificant salt circle. Santi's lips curl downward for a blink.

" Closer still, my sweet summoner. You would deny me the simplest pleasure of holding you? "

As soon as one tentative toe slips in, Santi's gums show in a blatant display of satisfied victory. He finds it's much too easy to have anyone dance to his whims now, a thrilling sensation.

Dark hands pull you closer playfully. Santi combs through locks of your hair, keeping you locked in a passionate gaze for a lethally entrancing amount of time. You stare at each other like perfect lovers, time stops for you, the entire world nothing but a darkened magenta mist surrounding Santi. He grins subtly, relishing the complete control he has over you.

You really have no idea what you got yourself into. And he's not charitable enough to let go of a pretty thing like you. Not when he could keep you.

Yes... As the new Icon, he should begin forming his own harem soon. You could be the first to join such a prestigious rank, spoiled and branded with his mark. He wonders what it looks like now... Will it hug your entire figure the way Vesper's mark possessively encompassed the whole body of his concubines?

" So tell me, why was I brought here tonight? "

His question was practically whispered onto your lips, though ever mercifully, he leans back to let you focus the slightest amount. Just enough to answer him. It takes a while of refreshing your synapses for Santi to get a response.

" I wanted... My friend is throwing a party, like a girl's night, y'know...? "

Oh, he does know. Those are fun.

" She asked me to... Summon an incubus, for us. "

Which you did, because you're a good friend, and you want to keep your friends happy, pleasured. What a sweet one, Santi muses. In spite of his toughts, the monster's beautifully sculpted face morphs into sadness, the same look a mother would give their child when preparing to tell them they can't have a cookie.

" I see... But I fear that won't be possible, love. You can't attend this party. "

He watches a spike of muffled panic try to overcome the desire written all over your face. It fails, you're more concerned with the full lips pouting in front of you.

" W- Why? "

He chuckles, continuing to pet your hair while ever so slightly tilting you down further, and further. You're all but lying into his grasp, relaxed and unwilling to care.

" My sweetest little thing, your offering is hardly enough to motivate someone of my status. I'm afraid I must leave with compensation. "

Claws flirt with the bare surface of your thighs, a playful stroke up and down, palping the fragile softness of your form. You're overheated, for a human that is, his nostrils flare at the growing wetness that lies barely concealed.

Santi can tell the gears are trying to turn in your head, enjoying the way your face simply gets darker, squirming in place yet never attempting to leave his arms.

He's patient enough to let you come up with something, even if your fate's already been decided.

" Uhm... I can still try to invite more friends? If- " You finally have the self-awareness to look away, making the demonlord smirk. " If you want me to do anything right now, I guess we can... "

He can't help it.

Santi bursts out laughing.

You're so out of your depth here, it's ridiculous. The contrast between the sterile, needlessly embellished bureaucracies of Hell's royalty and your simple "hums" and "haa"s of inadequate suggestions bring a tear to his eye.

You've reminded Santi that he truly needs a break, lest he end up like some of the bland demons orbiting the upper ranks of the Rings.

" Oh we're doing lots of things. " He jests, placing a simple kiss on your burning forehead. " Just not here. You're coming with me. "

" What?! " The way your eyes bulge has him worried they might just pop out that skull.

Santi leans down, unbothered, the beginning of a return rift sparking to life behind his great form.

" You heard me. I promise it'll be a better time than whatever party you've been to. "

His grip on you becomes more secure.

" You might not even want to come back. "

[reniberries]

TRIPLE THREAT . choi seung-hyun and kwon ji-yong

extras . chapter one sneak peak

summary: in which three of the biggest k-pop idols in 2016 can’t seem to stay away from each other, even as the media tries to tear them apart.

warnings: choi seung-hyun x female reader x kwon ji-yong, polyamorous relationship, smut, angst, toxic industries

total wc: 509 words

31/12/2023 . Y/N’S APARTMENT . 12:34

You had told yourself you weren't going to read the bloody article. That you didn't care what the world had to say about you anymore, and that anyone who was still using your name was only doing so for nostalgia's sake. Even the stupid title was pissing you off, 'looking back on Korea's biggest idols!', how utterly ridiculous, it had been almost six years since the world had heard from you, yet they were treating your name like you'd been dead for two decades.

It took a few seconds of scrolling to find your own name, kindly placed at number three out of the mere fifty-odd names mentioned.

'L/N Y/N, more commonly known as SOL, was one of the most well-known idols between the years 2013 to 2017. her unique alternative sense of fashion, and her hybrid mix of Korean pop and rock set her aside from other idols around this time. Having signed with YG Entertainment, who wanted to defer from the typical idol aesthetic, solo artist Y/N was used as a test to kickstart this new sub genre of K-pop.' Where did they even get this information from? Wikipedia? Famous birthdays?

It wasn't incorrect, per se, but the wording left an icky feeling lingering inside your stomach. They'd made you seem important, as though you'd actually managed to make some kind of change within the industry. You had tried, God, you tried, but there was only so much you could say when nobody was willing to listen.

Against your better judgement, you kept reading.

'As part of the YG family, Y/N was well acquainted with their other artists, such as BIGBANG and 2NE1, and has participated in many collaborations with the aforementioned groups.' Christ Almighty, you were half tempted to throw your laptop across your living room. Technically, you had asked for this, to relive the past, but actually reading it, seeing the words on your screen, brought the memories of your past crashing down on you in waves.

You should have stopped there, as soon as you'd caught a glimpse of their names written in an ugly font. Perhaps it was curiosity, or some sort of morbid punishment for yourself, that forced you to read on.

'At the beginning of 2018, L/N Y/N was involved in a series of controversies relating to BIGBANG members Choi Seung-hyun (T.O.P) and Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon). After a whistleblowing incident, it was revealed to the public that Y/N had been partaking in the act of smoking marijuana, along with rumours of an inappropriate relationship between herself and the two aforementioned males. These issues were detrimental to her fall in fame and respect as an idol.'

That was the last straw. The one that made you slam your laptop shut and quite literally chuck it to the other end of the couch. Then, you yelled. Screamed until your throat became raw and then screamed some more.

As if they knew the truth, as if they knew anything about you and the people you love— loved.

author’s note: hi! the amount of love shown to triple threat already has been so nice to see, and i’m super happy to share the story! i thought posting a little sneak peak would keep you guys excited for the first chapter

© reniberries . please do not copy or repost my work on any other platforms !

[edamameimei]

Perhaps, Even This —chapter 14

A year ago, you were known as your friend group’s “sunshine.” You were able to light up a whole room with your energy and everyone could rely on you for your quick wit and easy humor. You lived life simply one day at a time. However, seemingly out of nowhere, that all changes. Now a Junior in university, you find it extremely difficult to do all the things you used to do. Especially being the Resident Assistant for the Geffen Dorms. New residents begin to move in and one them is a girl you could only describe as “radiant." Her name is Megan Skiendiel, and at first, you don’t welcome the positivity but as you two continue to meet and hang out, you find yourself becoming the person you used to be. Will you be able to be that person you were a year ago? Or will everything just stay the same?

14. sounds good

half written (wc: 1029)

When the clock finally strikes 12 AM, you sigh in relief. You can finally clock out and go to bed. You begin to feel bad for the next person who has to take over your shift, knowing it can only get crazier from this point on considering it is still the peak of Halloween night. You pick your stuff up, not even bothering to wait for the next person to come and take over. You’re tired and it is no longer your problem. 

That is, until you hear that obnoxious beep, meaning a resident has just scanned into the building. 

You let out an aggravated huff, turning around to hopefully not see a drunk resident on your clock. What you’re met with is much worse, however. Standing in front of you is Megan, with her heels in her hands and her makeup slightly runny. The sight makes your eyes soften, especially when you begin to notice that the younger girl seems to be in a bit of distress. You tilt your head, concern written on your face. “Are you okay?” Megan smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. For the first time since knowing her, she doesn’t seem as excited as she usually is. Her hyperactive energy seems depleted and she just isn’t herself. 

You walk towards her, a frown evident on your lips. You grab her heels and place a hand on her shoulder. In other cases, you would turn the other way. Being a Resident Assistant for a college dorm is not for the weak. There are days where you often ignore the clinking sounds in resident’s bags when they pop out then pop right back into the dorm hall. You try to ignore the glazed over look in their eyes when you’re required to do your one-on-one checks ins with your residents. It’s just too much paperwork and you are only one person in charge of 20 other college kids. You really rather not put more on your plate. 

But this was Megan. And you hate to admit it but the ginger girl really did sneak her way into your life. 

That’s how you find yourself walking her to her dorm that is only one floor away. You tell yourself you’re only doing it because your own room is only a few doors away and you just want to make sure she can’t get into more trouble. But Jen would say otherwise. So, you’re grateful that the girl isn’t around to give you shit for this. 

The walk is silent for the most part. You find it strange that Megan isn’t talking your ear off and for some reason, you want to end the silence. It was driving you crazy. But, when you two finally get back to her dorm, she finally speaks. Her voice is quiet and for some reason it kills you. “Parties aren’t really my thing… I’m starting to notice.” You look at her, letting a chuckle escape your lips. “Really? I thought you’d love em’.” Megan shrugs, running a hand through her hair. “Me too… But I guess…” She trails off, biting her lip. After a moment, she just shakes her head, looking down to dig in her purse for her keys to her room. You furrow your brows at her sudden silence and place a hand on her shoulder. “Megan?” She doesn’t look up though. When she finally finds her keys, she quickly unlocks the door and looks up to give you another small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n…” She makes a move to walk inside but before you can stop yourself, you grab her wrist gently. She looks at you again, her lip trembling slightly. 

The sight of her being so vulnerable overwhelms you. You pull her into a tight hug, holding her tighter against you when you feel her body shake slightly. She was crying. She buries her head into the crook of your neck and holds onto the collar of your Geffen Dorms polo shirt. Her voice cracks as she speaks through her tears. “Maybe I’m just too much sometimes…” You bite your lip at her words because you know exactly how that feels. And you hate thinking about Megan knowing that feeling.

Sure, she’s quite clingy. And can in fact get on your nerves most days. But every single time, Megan manages to put a smile on your face. Seeing her walk through the entrance of the dorms makes something inside of you light up. When she smiles at you, basically skipping towards you, it causes pieces of the facade you’ve created to fall. You’re still not sure if that’s a good thing but right now, you can’t bring yourself to care. 

You have to see Megan smile once before you go to bed. It’s a must. 

You pull away slightly from the girl, one of your arms around her waist and the other reaching up to place a hand on her shoulder. You tell her quietly, “I think… You’re enough.” She lights up at your words and pulls you back closer, hugging you so tightly that you feel a bit lightheaded by her presence. The feeling scares you shitless. After a few moments, you pull away completely, your cheeks flush and your thoughts going 100 mph. You look away, rubbing the back of your neck as you chuckle nervously. You hear Megan giggle and you know you’ve successfully completed your mission for the night. You murmur softly, “well… I’ll let you go to bed…” You look back at her to see the ginger girl smiling brightly and you can’t help but feel relieved. She nods, placing a hand on the handle of her dorm and before she goes inside, she looks at you one last time. “Tell your friend Soobin thank you for me by the way… He walked me home!” You give her a thumbs up and she nods, smiling one last time. She goes into her room and once the door clicks, you let out a loud sigh. 

You tiredly make your way towards your own room. Before unlocking the door, you take your phone out and go to your messages.

a/n: sad megan but reader makes it all better <333 lmk what you guys think! also u haven't seen it already, i posted a sophia x reader fic yesterday if you're interested :)

requests are open

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[kindaasrikal]

Jumping back onto my random rants again, i need to discuss the colours ninjago writers use on characters once more, specifically with Frak and Lloyd, and their counterparts Arin and Morro.

Arin, at first, is a very dedicated and hopeful kid who is unbelievably excited to become a ninja and meet his idols. Yet as time moves forward he becomes restless and his methods to get what he wants twists into the more desperate and darker side. He becomes a lot more resentful, and thats shown in his colours. It’s as if the orange he wore got duller, and now in his new design in season 3 he’s wearing more colours like purple with his palette, showing his change more as a person as he gets influenced by those around him to take what he wants.

Frak, on the other hand, has a bright orange colour literally all over him. This, straight from the beginning, hints at how he is similar and connected to Arin and his story. However, he also has a mix of green with it.

That kinda slaps you in the face more when you realise his gi in the season 3 trailer has green on it too, and with the history that colour has it very obviously hinting at how Frak is what Arin could’ve been. Like how Lloyd was what Morro could’ve been. Not in power or as ninja, but as people.

It kinda also shows how Frak is like ‘the chosen one’ in this situation, the one with the bright colours and hopes and determination and strength that the other only had a fraction of. Yet, Arin’s determination and stubbornness is much larger than Frak’s, and those emotions can very easily corrupt your view and your actions, as shown with Morro. So, in Arin’s colour palette, it changes and is viewed as darker with the extra colours mixed in, hiding what colour he once was.

And it’s just a repeat of Morro.

Morro’s main colours was once bright green, with maybe black. After he turned evil he became a green leaning more yellow than Lloyd’s, a lime green and blacks and emeralds than the once brighter colour he proudly represented. The colour he wore was just slightly off to Lloyd’s.

But thats also the difference between Arin and Morro’s situations. Whilst Morro became a green that wasn’t just right, Arin’s orange is hidden behind darker colours instead. This could imply that Arin has a bigger chance of redemption sooner rather then later, and reminds us of the fact that Arin isn’t ACTUALLY evil, he’s doing this to find his parents, so his heart is still in the right place. But it can also imply how he is shoving down some of the thoughts he is having that is making him regret all of this, that he’s hiding away parts of himself just to get what he wants.

Arin is hiding himself to get what he wants. Morro changed himself to get what he wanted.

Frak and Lloyd are what Arin and Morro could’ve been but can’t be. It’s strange how different circumstances could’ve changed people.

Yeah this js a lot of yap sorry guys its like 5am i havent done one of these late night ones in ages. This was supposed be a whole lot more about frak but the morro in my head took over this is so badly written can any of you even understand what im ranting about

[sugar-grigri]

Do you think we’ll at least see Asa’s perspective or thoughts on what Yoru has done to Denji? Especially with Yoru’s last statement in chapter 192? It just feels to jarring to see Yoru without any interference or anger from Asa. I’m sure that Asa likes Denji, but I don’t think she would want to pursue Denji like that. I think that logically Asa would want to scare Denji away. Isn’t Yoru’s deal finished? Yoru said she wanted to beat Chainsawman, she technically DID, so by logic Asa should get her body back, no?

I!!!!!! Don’t!!!!!! KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! 😢😢

I've got one side optimistic and the other very pessimistic on this point.

By the way, my recent theory on Asa may be disillusionment, as I refuse to accept what Fujimoto has done with his character.

So here are two answers:

If I'm being pessimistic, even though I'm hoping for more of Asa's POV, I don't think we'll get it.

Fujimoto had a very weird writing style, after the chapter where Yoru masturbates Denji (it's very crude said like that but hey), Asa's only reaction is to be afraid that Denji thinks she's an easy girl

And I admit I was like: HUH ????

What kind of reaction is this?

Either 1) Fujimoto is very based, and shows that Asa whether by her possession by Yoru - her age is unaware of her aggression. That she is once again more focused on her image than on protecting herself.

2) Either Fujimoto considers that he hasn't written an assault scene. I hope this isn't the case, otherwise a lot of CSM's narratives would fall apart, but I think we can get this impression precisely from Asa's lack of reaction/anger/disgust at everything Yoru has done.

Honestly, it all depends on the next chapters, so I can't say for sure.

If I'm being optimistic, maybe we'll get that reaction, but it doesn't really resemble Fujimoto's writing style, which likes scenes to stand on their own.

On the other hand, Asa's future development and actions can deepen his feelings and help us understand her point of view.

The absence of Asa is so glaring that I'm surprised it's a flaw in CSM and not something the reader focuses on.

As for your last two questions, I have to admit that we're in total limbo.

For me, Asa probably doesn't want to haggle over her first time for obvious reasons, but if we're very pessimistic, we could say that she shares Yoru's feelings on this point.

But if I'm being optimistic, I have a more precise reading Yoru wants to sleep with Denji IF he accomplishes her new objective, and since Asa doesn't share this objective, mathematically, she doesn't want to sleep with Denji like that.

As for Yoru's aim of defeating CSM, technically she didn't, and I have to admit that the previous arc is completely muddled on this subject: to the point where I didn't even understand why Yoru was fighting him any more.

In any case, she couldn't completely annihilate him because the devil of aging intervened.

But it's messy again, for example how do we explain that Yoru now has the goal of going after his big sister? The devil of death?

The only explanation is: the law of the strongest

Yoru has gained the upper hand over CSM, and his feelings for him, as well as his superiority in terms of power, allow him to consider turning him into a weapon.

He's a potential weapon, not an enemy

Yoru is the war devil, she needs opposition and fighting, so her next enemy is the death devil.

And when you think about it, I think that's exactly how Fami thought, which is why she insisted that Yoru had to beat the black CSM

1) for Yoru to change her objective on her own (no need to manipulate her)

2) Fami had prepared the ground with the fire demon to give her the means to have this power.

In short, nothing but grey areas! Let's hope Fujimoto doesn't go down a disappointing road!

[seat-safety-switch]

Ted Eggos has threatened my life at least thirteen times this week alone. His goons' angry letters are filling up my cubby in the supermailbox on the corner. Late at night, people drive past my house real slow, trying to rattle me away from changing the world forever. My invention? The pancake printer.

Now, you're going to say the same thing my family did when I showed it to them. Making pancakes does not require this level of precision. That's when I busted out an immaculate reproduction of Mickey Mouse's head. Sure, I got immediately sued afterward by the Disney group of ultracorporations, but the point was made. That morning, I got my first investor.

Those investors are happy. With over a billion units sold, we are well on our way to saturating every pancake-consuming nation on the planet. Some folks tell me that they bought two, just in case their first one breaks down during a particularly intense morning with the in-laws. Competition? I'm pretty sure it will be a couple years until I get copied. Our innovations on the buttermilk rendering matrix and the browning-tension theorem put us way ahead of our rivals, especially those who weren't even thinking about pancakes before the big drop. I went on that fateful hour of QVC, hawking the pancake printer, not to stun the American populace. No: to liberate them. A truly round pancake tastes different from every other. You have never had a truly round one before this great machine.

And yet, late into the night, I cannot remember the brainstorms that led to the device. Surely I must have had thoughts, that built on logic, that built on reason, but there is no evidence of any order in the creation – discovery? – of this fantastic work. My notes, too, are indecipherable, written in a madman's shorthand. Many of them were simply burned to ashes in the fire. Ted Eggos? No. I recognize the lick of my own Bic. We continue to make the pancake printer, but I worry when I am called upon to repeat my miracle. Already, the young scientists in my lab ask me how I would make one that produces slightly smaller pancakes, for the travel market. I have eaten nothing but pancakes for three years now. They say you are what you eat. In my darker moments, I wonder if it was me who invented the pancake printer, or if the pancake printer invented me. I bit my foot the other day, to see if it was made of batter.

[mama-frog]

Rewatching NPMD so I decided to jot down all the biblical references in the show I find (at least that I think are relevant and not just super common phrases) and my thoughts about why they were included

Calling High School "Hell on Earth" at the beginning of High School is Killing Me

"Is God the one giving the test?" The morality test that starts the entire plot moving

"And we pray, and we pray" in Literal Monster. This is to set up Max's God complex

"I am only one man's girl, Max, and his name is Jesus Christ" First of all this is the funniest fucking line ever written. Second of all, girl he thinks he is God. You're just affirming what he already believes

"Forbidden Fruit, dickhole" Once again God complex

"You can watch as I rise" this man is likening himself to Jesus rising.

"I don't know what gave you the idea that you could break bread with Stephanie Lauter" Max gets to decide who is worthy of entering his house of worship

"I willed it into existence. I bring order to Hatchetfeild High. Light to Darkness. I'm your God" Ok the lighting change in this part is SICK the spotlight on Max really makes him feel so much bigger and scarier. but also the genesis reference is top tier on Max's part. He really makes it easy for anyone to understand his God complex

"Now on your knees, bitch. It's time to say your fucking prayers" Still just reinforcing the complex

The Chastity's "Amen" is comedic gold. Grace ending the prayer that Max started is lowkey symbolic of her ending his reign of terror later in the show

"I only believe in one ghost, the holy spirit that resides in all of our hearts" Papa Chastity my beloved

Max wearing a cross during Grace's sexual fantasy is so fucking funny, but also says a lot about the purity culture she grew up in

"I am expecting you to betray me" Grace later becomes the Judas to Max's Jesus when she has sex with him

"Dirty girl will you pray for me" Grace doesn't fully understand his God complex and has a savior complex of her own so this is how Max talks in her mind

"The trinity is more than two" LeAvE rOoM fOr JeSuS

"I'm singing a sacred song. On your knees pray along" unknowingly playing into the God complex there while also feeding her savior complex

"He's more than a boy, he's an idea. One that strikes fear in the hearts of the meek" God complex once again

"I am Jägerman! I am God!" He spells it out for us so much

"It was an act of God" ...Grace no

Max dying and coming back to life is so Jesus coded of him (I hate that I just typed that phrase)

"Who will pray for me" Dear lord Max is making Richie a prayer

"Or is this the eternal dark without a dawn?" TBH I don't think this is biblical I just love this line

"Relax ye of little faith" Love how Grace's savior complex is starting to morph into Max's God complex so she can take his place as the ruler of the school at the end of the show

"We're at Hell's gate" more like the black and white but yeah

"GOD'S PLAN" Grace is so unintentionally funny

"The Devil has won" The Lords in Black are really speaking directly to Grace now

"YOU FUCKING JUDAS" see the irony is that Grace is his Judas

I am not transcribing the bible flirting...just know it's to feed the God complex

"I AM JÄGERMAN I AM GOD" We know, bitch

It took me to the bottom of the list to realize that Grace's savior complex was to set her up to be a priest of the church of the starry children. So in conclusion, Max has a God complex

[1007xf]

Hallucinations

Ever since EP3 first came out and I found out that the hallucinations during the Translation Core fight change depending on your team and that each member has a corresponding one, I've been, well, very normal about this fact. I've been ruminating over theories in my brain ever since then and now with EP4 behind me I think it's about time I laid down my thoughts about each one in written form for whoever has the patience to humor me.

DISCLAIMER this entire post could be me overthinking some cool designs. But overthinking is like my thing so. Can't help it☆☆

Now, I'm going in with the assumption that each hallucination represents some sort of deep seated fear within each character. Maybe not necessarily their biggest fear ever, but definitely something that eats away at them from the inside. So, let's begin with looking at each of them in alphabetical order!

Akizet

Starting off strong here with I Have No Idea. Seriously. For all of these, I have some pretty robust interpretations, but Akizet's the only one that fully stumps me.

I can make out some elements, the receptors on it seem to be tir, but they hardly match any character we know of. The shape kind of fits Miltza, but her receptors have 5 "fingers", not 4, and Kazki doesn't fit at all either. So either this is someone from her past we haven't met yet (Rouzesche? Unlikely), not any specific person at all, or I'm missing something.

Obviously something that sets this hallucination apart is the pink "strings" coming out of it. This is the only one that has them. Looks like parasites to me, probably secri since we know what zuzucri infection looks in quite great detail and it's not like this. This is not particularly surprising, we know Akizet dealt with things like this as a surface runner, though I suppose this could hint to how her larval death went. Also to be noted, this hallucination lacks the hole in the chest multiple other hallucinations which depict someone "infected" have. This leads me to believe this is a larval obesk, as opposed to a qou, who can't even get infected by secri.

Last thing I'd like to add is that this thing kind of looks like... a weird amalgamation of multiple obesk. The 3 legs all look like they were taken from different bodies, and also it kind of looks like it had a second head that got decapitated? So like I said when I was talking about the mystery tir receptors, maybe this isn't a specific individual, but a mixed representation of a parasitic infection? Like the multiple victims, all having fallen prey to the same hivemind, now are fused and melted together into one monster. But I'm actually really unsure about this. I promise I'm more confident with the other ones, this one is just really confusing to me for some reason!

Bozko

Okay, this one is quite interesting. I'll first get out of the way what I think this is not.

This guy clearly has jut receptors. But I don't belive it's Cavik or Tozik, since it doesn't look like either of them beyond anything extremely superficial.

As for I do think it is... this is Vekoa. Appearance wise, I'd say she fits.

The receptors are the same, the one eye, and the cape (?) thing behing the hallucination isn't too far from Vekoa's clothing. Also, this hallucination is a qou, since it has a hole in the chest, denoting the destroyed mindcore and hijacked body.

Though beyond just looks I do believe it also makes sense from a character standpoint. Everyone at this point would be scared of Vekoa, since all clues lead to her spearheading the collapse, however Bozko seems to dread her the most out of anybody. He multiple times mentions how he thinks she's to blame for the entire tragedy. He zeroes in on eliminating Vekoa being the solution to everything, to the point he starts sounding somewhat sinister, definitely concerning. Obviously the situation was much more complicated, however Bozko is unstable and needs to anchor himself to anything in order to stay present, and burdened by his past as he is, that anchor seems to be protecting the team and culling the infection. To him, Vekoa is the root of it, and technically he isn't wrong, but his way of thinking and processing the situation is very dangerous. He has tunnel vision on the idea that he is alone, alone with the monster, with the predator, with Vekoa, that it's him and him only that needs to bear the responsibility of taking her on, because he fucked that up in his life, so now he needs to set the record straight in his death.

Overall, what at first seems like a twisted representation of Vekoa slowly becomes a representation of Bozko's self destructive, self punishing spiral.

(I could talk about this guy for so long but it's so hard because his story touches on some real personal stuff for me. He just like me frfr but honestly it's not even funny anymore why are the pixels on the screen stealing words from my mouth)

Cavik

Do I. Do I need to say anything. Seriously.

I think the fact that this is so obvious fits Cavik. He's always been so open about himself and his ideas, to the point it can become... problematic.

Seeing how important Akizet is to him like this is quite sad. Losing her could very well be his greatest fear, especially losing her in such a violent, terrible (haha get it. Because terrible life. Parasites?) manner.

What I would like to point out is that while Cavik's hallucination is clearly Akizet, Cavik is nowhere near close to being Akizet's hallucination. Just something to think about. Their dynamic is healthy and will definitely not degrade in time because of Events that have transpired.

IK Golem

(Or well, Karik, since Itzil is asleep at this point) (right) (they're asleep right) (I'm not misremembering this no? 0_0)

Well, this is Gakvu! Funny thing, girl is featured in a whopping 3 hallucinations. Congratulations?? I think???

Now, I will not give this one too much thought. It's just a Gakvu turned into a husk. The "real" hallucination of Karik appears only after the Pale Halls are unlocked.

Hey girl.

This is Telyu! The fact that the hallucination changes is so cool. Yeah, but I don't have much to say here either. Karik is scared of losing a close friend. Painfully normal fear for a painfully normal kiv. What is interesting is that Telyu retains Gakvu's melted leg. I don't think that means anything, but I thought I'd mention it.

Gakvu

Huh. Looks like she couldn't be bothered to even come up with a hallucination for herself. I'm joking.

Now, here, this is less based on actual clues and more just me interpreting something. I think this creature represents the Conflict as a whole. Gakvu always thinks of the bigger picture, so her fear being this Conflict itself fits. And, even visually, I'd say it fits. It's a ambiguous mass, with many eyes, many claws, a great thing that only works because so many minds are dedicated to senseless fighting, stuck in their ways of thinking, a ball that in it's own stubbornness throws itself down the hill, only to inevitably get hurt, only for inevitably tragedy to strike. This stubbornness to stay in your old ways, this closed off way of thinking, is what Gakvu resents, is what she ultimately fears, because she knows how destructive they can be. From the trauma of how she was raised (yes, trauma, she may act cool, but it clearly greatly affects her) in the structurist way, to the imminent threat of her execution (I do hope she doesn't die that way. She'll definitely die, I just hope she gets to do it on her own terms) she's always lived with the fear of a much greater entity out to get her.

An interesting thing, her hallucination and Bozko's kind of parallel eachother? Or are moreso foils? Bozko's is the immediate problem, Vekoa, the person propagating this infection, but Gakvu's is the Conflict itself, the bigger picture. It's cool to see how they view their situation in such different ways, both of their ways of thinking being both useful, but also potentially dangerous. I generally tend to think of Bozko and Gakvu as foils to eachother in one way or another, but that's another discussion entirely.

Miltza

Miltza. MiltzaMiltzaMiltza. Sigh.

Again, this is one of the very obvious ones. Though it's cool that you can cross reference this with another hallucination of Gakvu, the one IK has. It really shows how Miltza sees Gakvu, even if she tries to be reasonable, not as a qou, as an individual, but as a saboteur, as an instrument for mayhem and strife. Instead of the hole in the chest, the hand symbol is shown, a mark of Gakvu's alliance. Miltza literally doesn't see her heart.

Obviously I don't think Miltza is that vile. She clearly was... trying. And Gakvu herself seems to recognize as much, unfortunately by then it's too late and she's gone. But the hallucinations are the worst a mind can conceive, so I don't think she's really to blame for this.

Miltza you certainly were a character. Bon voyage girl you were kinda crazy for believing in allat <3

Tozik

Last but definitely, definitely not least.

This is. Okay. It's not okay.

Obviously the figure in the left is Bozko, the one on the right is Gakvu, the one in the middle could be Cavik, but it could also be Tozik himself. The receptors could literally be either of them. Yes, they have a curve, which would be Cavik, but the style in which the hallucinations are present seems to kinda hate the straight lines and angles of the Ekivik style sooo... it's a bit hard to tell? Either way, I think both interpretations carry similar enough meaning.

Tozik cares. A lot. He always did, Akizet was just terrible at reading him (to nobody's surprise). When his fear gets extracted out of him and made manifest, it's a corrupted, lost version of his closest friends. While he seems to keep everyone at an arm's length, his friendship with Bozko gets outright stated and it's clear he was closer to Gakvu too. (As for Cavik, if that is indeed him, I guess they shared a caste and had similar duties so maybe they worked together more?? I don't know. Their tie doesn't seem as personal as the other 2 so that's another reason I tend to lean into that being Tozik himself)

And now? Now, beyond everything else happening, he has to witness these 2 friends deteriorate more and more, Bozko's struggle being obvious, and the cracks starting to show in Gakvu's façade too. Ironically, he is the first to start physically deteriorating, and at a much faster pace, a little later on. Maybe because this hallucination doesn't have the chest hole, this isn't the fear of them becoming husks, but rather the fear of them succumbing to their own internal struggles and losing it?

Another interesting detail, this hallucination seems to have blood on its hands. This is the only one with such a detail. It obviously means something. I don't know what, but it must mean something.

Conclusion??

Hi are you still with me. No. Ok :)

But really, if you somehow read this far I really appreciate you <3<3<3

I would like to add something. I'm not on the discord (too scared :( ) and I've never really participated in online discussions yet. I've never seen anybody else speak so in depth about this topic specifically yet, however obviously I could have missed something. So if I just stated a bunch of obvious shit everyone knew already I'm soooorryyy. I tried to give it my own flare okay☆☆☆

Overall I'm glad to finally get all this info off my chest and into the void of tumblr. I definitely have more to say about other things and maybe I will in the future!! I was thinking about writing some of my thoughts on each character respectively, maybe.

And once again thank you for reading and good night is 3 in the morning for me and I need to get up in 3 hours <3

[nieranddear]

Finally getting around to writing about it. Mostly since it would have needed to be contained inside the tags of the main post and there is no way this would’ve fit. It’s mostly just dialog rewrites, trying to keep it somewhat in character at the least, rereading on the characters and then debating over what to do, process of pain, and all that thinking stuff that makes my brain hurt. Typical things I'd put in the tags. Do know it is 1.6k words as a heads up.

I actually had an idea before that was written down the day of, as elaborated inside a post, but it felt really clunky and I couldn’t find the work around for it to make more sense or be natural than just having items go for a specific purpose than it feeling more akin to a decision made because it was a decision rather than a contrivance and necessity. Changed it the next day and did one draft for the dialog and then went into thumbnails. I didn’t think I would put this much effort into it? If I had known beforehand I would’ve definitely had done more time inside the planning stage to have it put out inside a form that I felt more content with. Specifically with the placement of dialog paired with the paneling. Some were fine but it ended up feeling as if it was either too claustrophobic, which I had attempted to fix later on by either condensing or moving some items around, or that it was either too fast pace wise. Hopefully it ended up alright in the end. I can’t quite remember as I didn’t write the exact thought process down but I tried to convey timing and feeling through the sizes of the panel and the background? Also typical comic or the like but I couldn’t tell if it was executed very well which is why it was brought up.

Ahhh the pacing was killing me. I tried to condense it but overall it just felt too rushed or unnatural. It still feels a bit unnatural but passable as simply awkward now. Already established and can be seen here but I tend to speak in a verbose manner. Either when explaining things or just talking in general when trying to communicate. Which also caused it to be drawn out. It was mainly the fact that I didn’t want to force an idea that felt too unnatural to me once more.

Actually interesting things. Dialog. And the two. These two. There was going to be a bit more teasing but it felt a bit off? Not sure. While Netzach did have words that were sarcastic or poking at the situation it was more of a dry, wry sort of thing than something he actually does often. Mostly out of that said hopelessness that was most present inside of LCorp. Though he is still one to complain it isn’t at an expense of himself or others. Along with the fact it was harder to try and find a situation to fit affection? Not so in the way to where it seemed impossible for a dynamic or relationship but more of the fact that typical situations of what I personally perceive to be relationships or romantic just wouldn’t flow. Netzach’s expression isn’t one of being loud. In multiple ways really. Not to say he doesn’t but in general his face isn’t as vividly expressive and his voice is quieter and he speaks inside a lethargic and slower way. This also transfers over to the experiencing of love and expressing of that love as well. Specifically when talking about or discussing the affection he had for Carmen it was a gentle but ever real and present adoration. Simply being content to go ahead and just be near her. To be near to see the passion and life inside of her eyes. But even with that affection the way he goes about to describe it is also very unsure? Not quite unsure but using language that isn’t as strong with the idea of ‘love’. It isn’t as if it is not there but it isn’t as if it was what one would call a typical, burning passion. Words such as ‘suppose’ only followed after a more lengthy pause to the idea of Carmen being his ‘first love’. Then going on to describe the dynamic by using the words provided. Along with ‘Was it love, really?’ to the first probing of the relationship and feelings towards Carmen. It felt odd if I went ahead and had such behaviors written down. Personally. Mostly due to the fact I wanted to try and express that more subtle or quiet showings of affections and adoration. No, I am not projecting. I just happen to be AroAce spec. Hashtag trust. Regardless, the way it was handled really stood out to me so I wanted to try and preserve that in a certain way or try to go ahead and have that shown in some manner. Things like his words about wanting to go ahead and express his emotions quietly down onto a painting. I wanted to try and have him do something like that and to capture that and more openly and physically present those emotions, that work and time, towards Yesod as another showing of affection. Plus the kiss on the cheek. I was debating keeping that in but a kiss is a more universal sign of communicating affection. Wanted to not have it on the lips for a sort of comfort thing? Like Yesod was already written on edge and a bit stressed due to the fact he was simply receiving things inside a showing of appreciation and affection and unable to go ahead and reciprocate or be able to return the favor or having planned to go ahead and physically do something. Adding onto the slight tension from being too close and trying to test the waters of being close. Putting it over here Yesod seems to be fine with space considering he quite literally walks up to Roland to touch and adjust his clothes. But it was more of the factors of getting inside of his space when already tense that I wanted to go ahead and be done. Going back to Netzach, the kiss was placed on the cheek inside a way to go ahead and still express that affection but still have it not be entirely inside of his space. A gentle cupping that could easily be stepped back away from but still a physical gesture. I kept going back to the idea of him wanting to try. Going to go ahead and try and attempt to do things. A whole thing with him is wanting to go ahead and try. Try to live. Try to put in the work. Try and actually put effort in. Which then translated over to wanting him to try and get himself to go and express and show that affection towards the other.

Yesod. Where do I start with you. Well I suppose continuing off of the idea of him being more ahh I can’t find the word. Anxious I suppose? I don’t know the correct feeling or word to adequately identify it. Alexithymia and all of that. But it the sort of feeling you get when you’re unable to do or complete something, causing a sort of restlessness and some sort of discomfort inside. Maybe that is anxiety. Regardless. The prospect of being unable to return or to be able to go ahead and repay inside the one sided exchange of items or words received. Wanted to have it to where it felt maybe wrong? Or the sort to go ahead and receive something without any prerequisite or action to balance it out. Thus having him more on edge and a bit more irritable during the conversation. Yesod himself is rather composed, really. The things he ended up becoming more worked up about were subjects where he was more passionate about an injustice. Even then he tends to collect himself after such matters. Even inside LCorp he was one to go ahead and be able to reign himself in and restrain himself inside his emotions. Even during the meltdown which is a bit funny to think about in an ironic way. Which is understandable considering everyone inside LCorp was far more unstable. But still under a situation that upsets or distresses he ends up expressing a temper that he does have. I wanted to try and have him be physically more stiff? On edge or just more tense at it all. Going ahead and opening up with sorting/rechecking/replacing of the books upon the shelf as a sort of way to soothe and get comfort and also physically actually do something while thinking. Any other thing to add would end up being the notes about trying to get their body language down and what to do with them. A slight tilt on Netzach’s head and shifting of it. General slouching. Was also debating keeping some of the body language in or not or just gesticulations but ended up keeping it in for the sake of it not being visually boring. Yesod with pauses and more stationary bodywise. Mostly only really small tilts or eye movement. 

Other patrons mentioned! I feel like they would be the types to go out and initiate some sort of gift giving. Maybe others responding or doing something in their own right afterwards but those few seemed like the type to have something planned or ready specifically just for the day. Tiphereth as well because despite her more snappy words and ruder sentences she can end up saying which she doesn’t really mean she does care for them all. So I thought it would be nice if Tiph went ahead and wanted to try and express or extend that showing because of that. Malkuth feels like the type to do some trinkets or the sort and more physical showings of affection through hugs and the like. Hod feels like the sort to go ahead and make personalized notes. Also fitting for the floor of literature patron. Chesed because he is a social creature and also likes excuses to go ahead and visit or see others and just chat.

hoptal

[startupkat]

My brain is so full of thoughts yes. I love thinking about things, it’s so wonderfu- what. Oh you want me to talk about them! Of Course! So the plot starts- you…. You want me to write it down? …… yeha hang on. I’ll just get you the gun so you can just kill me for real

[familyofpaladins]

I finally got out my laptop again and pulled what I had written previously for my Youngest Leo Au, and so I can finally just copy and paste what I had written about the turtles dynamics/personalities once they were back with Splinter. (@sonderquill this is for you, I knew i had stuff about it written on my laptop and why I took forever to actually that part of your question)

For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a link to the post describing my Youngest Leo au (which is also just my own iteration of the tmnt) and a lot of the back ground for the au.

TLDR (but really check out the other post for a lot more detail) is that, when the turtles were little (like 7 or 9ish years old), they got taken in by shredder, who they thought was a friend of splinter. Shredder wasn't always super nice to them and got even worse after shredder thought he had finished Splinter off. Mikey is the oldest, but doesn't focus well, so Shredder dismisses him as stupid. Raph is next oldest, but has anger issues and doesn't like listening to shredder. Donnie is super smart, but doesn't talk and therefore can't communicate well with others often. Leo is the youngest and easiest to scare into submission/actually get him to do what shredder says. After a couple/few years with shredder, they manage to escape with Splinter who is actually alive. Except Leo, who Shredder then takes to japan for about a year. Leo eventually gets back to his family.

And the rest of this post is how the brothers interact with each other after this (and a little speculation about what they would have been like if they HADN'T been taken by shredder). This... may have gotten a little long (between 1k and 2k words?) so im going to go ahead and put it under a cut

Once ALL turtles are back home. It’s an adjustment period. Leo spends some time trying to make sure that Splinter always stays happy and begins to panic is something happens that could possibly upset splinter. (because leo fears punishment, and that he or his brothers will be hurt like they would have been with shredder) Now splinter would never hurt them or get angry like shredder did, and logically leo knows that, but the stress Leo endured (especially when it was just him) has made him anxious and it takes a while for Leo to relax. But he gets there eventually.

They all still end up defaulting Leo to be leader, because he still knows their strengths and weaknesses best. Mikey still doesn’t like large text books and sitting still too long, but now that he’s out, he’s much more likely to sit back and relax and chill out. Pranks his brothers a lot. He is a big reason that Leo gets to calm down. He gets Leo to laugh and pulls pranks on everyone and demonstrates that no one is going to get seriously hurt as a consequence. (Mikey makes it a personal mission to get Leo to laugh at least once every day, or at the very least smile)

Once everyone is back together , Donnie really opens up and almost doesn’t ever shut up when he gets on a roll. His brothers love listening to him, even if 90% of it goes over their heads. Seriously, after years of not hearing Donnie speak, they will always happily listen to him. Sometimes he thinks too much and leo helps direct his thoughts. Leo asks him for help the most on solving problems during missions.  He gets to make things exclusively for his brothers like jet powered skateboards and jet skis and communication devices and cloaking technology to hide their home. Once he meets April, she gets him more into chemistry, and Donnie occasionally supplies Mikey with stuff for pranks (like the “elephant toothpaste” stuff) but only when he knows it’s not going to possibly ruin any tech/ or furniture.  

It takes a little while for raph and leo to work out that Leo isn’t trying to be mean/patronizing when helping with training, and that Raph would rather figure things out on his own, but that also he has always cared for all his brothers including leo. Once they find their groove, they almost become inseparable. Can often find them out patrolling together or sparring. Still get in fights over the stupidest things. Raph still gets angry, but it’s not a constant frustration like when they were at Shredder’s. (Shredder had been also purposefully trying to get Raph to be angry a lot, so that he would eventually be like a raging beast he could unleash on his enemies.) Splinter helps to teach Raph better (read: ANY) coping methods for his anger, and so his bouts of anger are far less often and over quicker.

Random fun fact. As the eldest brothers, Mikey and Raph are the ones the brothers go to when they're scared. Go to Mikey when its a silly fear and/or you just want to be cheered up. So when Donnie has a nightmare about all his technology either falling apart or turning against him as a giant computer spider monster or something, he goes to Mikey who doesn't make fun of him and is like "well all we'd have to do is drown it in water duh. When Leo has a bad time after trying to work on his fear of heights, Mikey just makes jokes or talks about something else until he calms down. (or if Leo gets stuck somewhere high because he's too scared to move, Mikey helps distract him from the heights and to look at other things instead). And when Raph gets scared by a bug that managed to get in his room, Mikey doesn't make fun of him, and just scoops the bug up and takes it away.

You go to Raph when you want to feel protected. Raph is the strongest one of them all, and has won most of the fights he's been in. So when Mikey gets spooked by a pile of clothes that looked like a person standing in a dark corner and now every shadow might hold something, he goes to Raph, because, while he knows there's probably nothing there, if there IS, Raph will be able to fight whatever it is. When Donnie is scared that the foot or other villains may get past the security he has guarding their home, he goes to Raph, because Raph will beat up anything that gets past Donnies tech defenses. And when Leo is afraid that Shredder or [redacted] is going to come and take him away again, he goes to Raph, because Raph has promised that he'll never let that happen, and Leo believes him. And big tough angry Raph has a soft and squishy heart, so he will always let his brothers stay with him when they're scared. Because he WILL fight against anything that threatens his brothers.

Their dynamic as teens:

*Listening to some bad guy monologue-ing *

Raph, whispering to Leo: what’s cognizant mean?

Leo: I…. I’m not sure. Don. What’s that mean?

Donnie: Cognizant: to be aware of or in the know of something.

Mikey: Guess Raph and Leo aren’t very cognizant of word definitions hahahaha-

BONK.

Raph: Shut up Mike!! You didn’t know eitha!

(Villain: Hey!! You're supposed to be listening to ME-)

So yeah, leo is the leader because that’s what they were used to and got good at while under the care of the shredder. If they had stayed with splinter its possible that Mikey would have lead, being the oldest, but also possible that he still wouldn’t have wanted the role/ wouldn’t focus well enough for the role. But he does know his brothers well and might have grown more serious. But since the shredder often wrote off his inability to focus as a lost cause, he happily lets Leo make decisions for him during missions. (at home though with things like dinner and movie nights, he likes to pull the oldest brother card to get what he wants lol) .

Raph being one of the strongest fighters could have argued for role as leader, but regardless of being with shredder or splinter he is a hothead and probably would still have not gotten leadership position. Although maybe with splinter he would have been able to work through some of his anger better, and channel it better and could have maybe stepped up as leader. But. As is, he never really worked out how to focus his anger with the shredder, and so there is a little bit of an adjustment period where he has to learn ways to channel his anger and frustration when he can’t just go and beat up the random foot goons in the training room anymore. (probably meets casey this way when he sneaks out to find bad guys to fight and runs into casey instead). Splinter does try to teach him some ways to cope that don’t involve beating people up. Knitting /crocheting is one of those ways (taking the time to MAKE something instead of destroy. And also yarn won’t break like pottery or glass or wood or a painting canvas if it gets punched in frustration).

Donnie is probably the least changed by his time with the shredder. He would have been talking a lot more and sooner had he been with splinter. Donnie did get to have access to more diverse technology tho and perhaps has more skills and experience because of it. Being with Shredder made him very anxious and was often close to a break down from stress, but being able to work in the lab simultaneously made it better (got to work on technology) and worse (never knowing what his work was going to be used for). Donnie is just relieved to no longer have to be building things that were going to hurt people and can now make things to help instead. Donnie really shines once he’s free. Makes friends with April (and leatherhead) he babbles and info dumps all the time, and gets lost in inventions and data, that his brothers often have to snap him out of. Could not lead because he’d get lost in the calculations and what ifs.

Leo actually has a similar problem. Often gets caught in a Do this and face possible consequence, or do That and face a different consequence. Which is better? Will he regret it? Which saves his family and which dooms it? <- this gets amplified during the time he’s alone with the foot. Once he’s back with his brothers they help to push towards decisions (with Raph’s hotheadedness jumping in anyway, Don’s analysis, or Mikey’s fun impulsiveness/instinct.) and that they’ll be there to work through whatever the consequences are anyway, because they’re in this together, good or bad. Brothers forever

[daughterofheartshaven]

Ha ha, get continuitied.

I've never thought of the War Chief being after delgado. I still put him before, but that's an interesting thing to what if about.

For the record, I don't think the NuWho Master is a different character then the Classic Master, although if you wanna explore that idea I'd love to see where you take it! I think the change in personality is down to the Time War (and also having that drumbeat - which, btw, I believe lay dormant until the War since it never came up in classic Who). But yeah, I wish this was addressed a little more directly.

Happy to talk about how I don't differentiate them, but also I'm not sure how to do that? Here's my best attempt - this might be a little incoherent.

So yeah, I think of the Doctor as one character. The guy who shows up in an Unearthly Child and the guy who shows up in Joy to the World are the same character to me. Now obviously they act very differently, but that's because who they are as a person has evolved over the years. I would argue that while each regeneration tends to act a little differently, it's always a natural extension of where we left off (barring post-regenerative sickness). Regeneration is a chance for the Doctor to reinvent themself, in-universe. I can elaborate on that if you want?

I... acknowledge that the New Series has drifted into treating each incarnation as a separate character (although I would argue that this is an invention of the New Series), but I can't see it that way. Like, even when I'm talking about favorite Doctor, what I'm really talking about is favorite era - I just can't separate the incarnations in my head.

I think that's maybe why I don't find the Valeyard an interesting character or idea - because the Doctor is, in my head, such a consistently written character, I have significant difficulty wrapping my head around the idea that the Doctor could become someone like that or how they could become manifest.

Also I think it's funny how this conversation isn't even about the War Chief anymore.

A Doctor Who question for you:

[silentexplorer18]

Regarding the future of this blog

Hi folks! This one got a bit long, so I'm putting it under a cut.

TLDR: I've been really unhappy blogging for quite a while, so I'm finally embracing being a messy, multifandom blog that posts things without tagging them well, posts more personal things, mostly focuses posting my own fic on AO3, etc. If you're not into that, feel free to eliminate my presence on your dash. XO -Silent

When I started this blog a few years ago, I was essentially starting with zero knowledge of the social side of the internet.  Sure, I'd read stuff on tumblr blogs, but I’d never used tumblr or looked at anything besides what was listed directly on a masterlist.  I’d never used other social media sites, either.  So, when I started using things like tumblr and instagram and even discord, I was trying to follow along and do whatever everyone else was doing.  I tried to post clearly tagged stuff and keep my blog super organized; I posted cutesy photos with whimsical captions; I tried to find my footing in conversations that were hard to follow.  But I always felt like I could never keep up.  I was trying to follow the motions to make my online spaces what I thought they needed to be, but I never could do the motions quite right, so I kept getting more and more discouraged.

Why am I telling all of you this?  Because I think 2024 is the year something needs to change.

I started off wanting this blog to be super pretty and aesthetic.  I wanted my fics to be clearly organized and have easily navigable links.  I wanted to only reblog fandom-specific things.  I wanted to keep everything very on topic.  And I wanted to be active in fandom (interacting with other fandom readers, makers, doers, etc.).  But in trying to do all of the former, I’ve spent so much physical and mental energy that I don’t have the time, energy, or ability to do the latter.  I felt like if I couldn’t do all of that, I shouldn’t do any of it, and, well, that’s plain not true.

The truth is this: I’m messy, and I write slowly.  I like so many things, and I actually love to talk a lot.  Keeping tags organized is hard and it makes me tired.  Posting on tumblr (instead of just ao3) is hard sometimes because it makes me tired.  I like talking to people and reccing fics and gushing over art, but I can’t always make it picture-perfect or aesthetic or linked so it’s easily navigable.  Life is hard, and using social media should be something fun, not something to agonize over.

So, I’m making some changes:

I’m gonna be posting a lot more.  Rambling about life.  Sharing writing updates.  Making you all privy to my shower thoughts.

But the writing projects I have will still be long hauls.  Strap in, folks, ‘cause we’re probably looking at months-long to years-long updates.  (Nothing is ever dead, just, you know, aging like fine wine or something.)

I’m not sure how many writing projects will be posted here, either.  I enjoy posting on AO3.  I like the format.  I like the way it works.  I like that it organizes everything for me.  If I post something there, I’ll obviously share the link here, but I don’t know how many fics I’ll be posting here moving forward.

Also, I’m just gonna start reblogging shit like crazy.  Anything!  Everything!  All at once!  The tumblr is my oyster!

Despite reblogging more, I’m just gonna let this blog become more disorganized.  If I have the energy to tag stuff, I will, but I think I’m just gonna focus on sharing things rather than sharing things in a way that’s particularly organized.

I’m gonna start reblogging more fic recs here, too (and sharing ones from AO3!).  I will, of course, be keeping my fic rec blog, and it’ll get its own small update post, but the goal is to just give myself the permission to be less organized so I have more energy to enjoy and share fic.

Related: the blog might get a makeover.  I’m not sure yet because I’ve had roughly the same colors/theme/pfp for all the years I’ve had this blog, so changing it will be hard.  (And I have no idea what exactly to change to!) But we’ll see.  Ideas are welcome.

I feel a little melodramatic making this big, long post about this, but I feel like the folks that are still hanging around my blog (you lovely, few and far between, who are neither bots nor dead blogs, I adore you all immensely) are hanging around for a reason, and I want to give fair warning that the activity levels here will be changing, the tagging system/findability of things will be changing, the location of fics being posted will be changing.  It felt right to warn people so they could unfollow/block if they so desire.

But anyway, happy (late) 2024!  I hope this post finds everyone well, and I’m excited to see what the future holds!

-Silent

[curryshesus]

jeon jungkook fics that had me going feral

hi guys, here's a part 2 to my favorite jjk fics on tumblr! note that many of these fics contain 18+ content. you are responsible for the content you consume! as always, if you enjoyed any of these fics as much as i did, please take a moment to send some love to the authors! part 1 | other bts members

➺ cold nights & blurred lines - by @awrkive

summary: jungkook and you have been in a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. but as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? it definitely is. will you do something about it? both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.

➺ night crawlers - by @alphabetboyluvr

summary: jungkook’s always been good at running. track, field, red lights, shit outta luck. drugs, now, too. but he doesn’t expect to run into you. in your shared lecture halls, sure. maybe. but not down the back alleys of daerim at ass o’clock in the morning. there are only three types of women he ever sees in daerim: hookers, sugar-babies and addicts. you aren't any of those; you're a trust-fund baby who can get percocet on private repeat prescription, if you really want it. he's sure of it. so it then further begs the question: why the fuck are you here?

➺ this is how you fall in love - by @jeonqkooks

summary: after years of drinking and clubbing most days of the week and leaving every gig with a different girl on his arm, jungkook feels what it’s like to want someone with his entire being.

➺ the dilf installments - by @mercurygguk

summary: this series follows jungkook’s life as a divorced father. but wait, how exactly does one balance being a father, a boyfriend, a friend, and a respectable boss at the same time? read the installments below to find out!

➺ ultimatum - by @parkmuse

summary: your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).

➺ a hero's journey - by @hansolmates

summary: jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story

➺ tempest - by @kooktrash

summary: you’ve always considered your life to be more mundane than you would like to admit. it was a constant cycle of the same things over and over again that when you meet jeon jungkook at a bar, of all places, you didn’t expect to see just how much he would change your life and those around you. he’s got an air of mystery around him with his charming good looks and a violent past that you slowly begun to unravel when it feels like everything is going perfect.

➺ by its cover - by @gimmesumsuga

summary: the one where Jungkook makes a horrifically bad first impression.

➺ slow dancing - by @yoonia

summary: when your countdown appeared on your wrist right in the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

➺ e s p r e s s o - by @joonberriess

➺ hold me closer - by @ahundredtimesover

summary: when you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though.

[prlssprfctn]

The first time, Tim notices someone observing them from afar, it is when they are all settled for a brief dinner together. It is the middle of the week, and Bruce gathered all of them together to... relax. Which is strange but not unwelcome. Everyone is so involved in chattering and bantering that they don't notice a lingering gaze through the window; they don't, but Tim does.

It takes him a few seconds to figure out that it is Jason.

He is not sure if Bruce reached for him to invite, and Jason just declined, or there was no offer to begin with, but Tim knows for sure Jason lurkes behind windows for a few minutes before disappearing in the night.

And the funniest thing? Tim understands him.

He thinks he is not Jason's replacement — never truly was, despite what the other thought — but in a way, they did swap their places. Because in the past, it was Tim, who hid on the rooftops, staring at Bruce and his family, listening to the snippets of their conversations. And now it is Jason.

It is still different, of course. Tim had a choice, and it was his... enthusiastic project, if anything — Jason doesn't really. But if anyone understands the feeling of standing far away from everyone, it is still Tim.

That's why the next time in happens, Tim reaches out.

It is after the particularly easy mission, when Tim spots the red motion on the rooftop. He slips away from Nightwing and Robin, who debate about something with Batman through the comms, and finds himself standing behind Red Hood.

The way Red Hood taps his fingertips on the balustrade makes Tim remember that he is not included in their comms anymore. He wonders how lonely it is, to hear the voices of his brothers, but never being able to grasp the whole conversation they have.

'Hood,' he calls for him.

To Jason's credit, he doesn't scramble in panic, even if it seems that he is surprised by his appearance.

'Red,' he mutters back, instantly defensive. 'What, came to mock me?'

Tim rolls his eyes; he wishes things would be easier with Jason, but they are not, and he can't really blame him for that.

'Had I ever mocked you?' He copies his stance, arms folding in the chest. When Jason tilts his head, almost asking, "Really now?" Tim rolls his eyes again. 'Okay, I did a few times. But it mostly were jokes about your death.'

Jason chuckles.

'Good one, punk. It changes everything.'

'You like jokes about your death,' Tim protests. 'And I know you allow Arsenal to joke about it, so it is not entirely closed topic.'

'I don't remember allowing you to joke about it, though.'

...

This conversation is so fucking stupid. Tim didn't even came here for this, but-

But fine. He still can win.

'So, you only allow it to your friends. Fine. Let's be friends,' Jason chokes on his own exhausted sigh. 'Do you need some friendship questionnaires to fill to be my friend? I can arrange that.'

Jason kindly flips him off under his breath before disappearing in the night, leaving him alone with whining Nightwing and irritated Bruce in his ear.

The next time he stalks down Jason, who in turn is stalking Damian and Bruce, he shoves in his hand twenty three papers filled with bunch of friendship questions — half stripped from internet, half made by Tim that involve the specifics of their jobs.

He doesn't expect anything to come after it, but in two weeks after Jason returns to the city after his mission with Outlaws, Tim finds these papers filled with surprisingly neat, calligraphic answers.

And he gets the printed copy of the same questions, with one page of an additional one, written in the same handwriting, and with a little sticky note atop of it.

Your turn, Timbo.

Tim smirks.

Oh, he will so drag Jason back in the family, somehow.

[navybrat817]

Love drunk Bucky! What about a drunk reader?

Yes, we've seen drunk!Bucky in Pretty Girl. A drunk reader could be fun.

Your Girl

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: You're very vocal about wanting Bucky Barnes.

Word Count: Over 1.7k

Warnings: Drunk reader with no filter, drunk confession, dirty talk, humor, slight feels, talk of consent and communication, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: Hope you lovelies enjoy. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

“Raw. Next question.”

You sipped your drink, the room going eerily silent. It was the quietest it had been since everyone gathered in the lounge for some drinks hours ago. Pairs of eyes stared at you with a mix of fascination and shock as your words hung in the air.

Just moments ago, Clint had been going through his phone and showing everyone candid photos he managed to snap of everyone. Most of them were hilarious, but the most recent one wasn't hilarious at all. It was clearly hot based on your reaction.

“What did she say?” Steve whispered to break the silence.

“You heard what she said. Everyone heard it,” Sam whispered back, giving you a quizzical stare. “How many drinks have you had?”

You held up a finger followed by another couple. “Like this many. And water. Hydration is so important.”

“Hold on. Back to what you said a second ago.” Clint turned the phone toward him with a raised brow and slowly turned it back toward you so you could see it again. “You know that’s a picture of Barnes, right? Not some model or actor?” he asked.

Bucky Barnes, the beefy super soldier who was trying not to shatter the bottle in his metal hand as he watched the scene unfold before his eyes. Clint managed to snap a photo of him when he removed his shirt after a recent workout, which begged the question of why he was taking the photo to begin with. Bucky wasn’t looking at the camera since his eyes were shut, but his parted mouth, slightly messy hair, and sweat shining off his torso made him look like a thirst trap. The sweatpants only made the picture that much hotter.

“Yeah, I know. He’s hot. We all know he’s hot,” you shrugged. “And I said what I said.”

Bucky audibly exhaled. You had a penchant for being very honest with the team which they appreciated. If someone asked for your opinion or thoughts on something you didn’t hide how you felt. You were careful not to be cruel if you disagreed with anyone, but you still led with honesty. Alcohol didn’t change that.

So, if you said you thought Bucky was hot and you wanted him to fuck you raw, you meant it.

Clint exchanged a quick glance with Natasha before the redhead nodded to the spot beside you. The spy looked like she was having a hard time not smiling. “And you know he’s sitting next to you, right?” she asked.

You downed the rest of your drink and shrugged again. “Yeah, I know. And I’d let him fuck me raw. Every day. Twice on Sundays,” you said unapologetically as Steve coughed. You swung your head toward Bucky with a sultry smile and leaned in a little closer. He smelled your perfume before you sat down tonight, but now the sweet smell combined with your natural scent was making him dizzy. “You’d fuck me raw, right? Maybe fuck me from behind so you can get nice and deep.”

The bottle shattered which only made you smile more. Bucky’s nostrils flared and everyone backed up a few inches, except for you, the newest member of the team. The person who loved to leave little treats and snacks for him to make sure he ate throughout the day. The same person who made a show of bending over and stretching in front of him whenever you two worked out together. The only one who seemed to get a real smile out of him since you showed up like a shining beacon of happiness and sass.

And now you were telling him you want him to fuck you. Raw. He thought about it, of course- how wet and snug you’d feel around his bare cock, how you’d take him like a good girl. He pictured you sobbing his name and squirming as he pinned you down and brought you over the edge again and again. Licking his lips, he imagined the taste of your arousal on his tongue and wondered if he could make you squirt. He sure as hell wanted to try.

Bucky heard Thor’s footsteps, but didn’t take his eyes off you as the God of Thunder took a seat. “Clearly, I’ve missed something.”

“I said I want Bucky to fuck me raw,” you said without missing a beat.

Bucky bit back a groan. He was two seconds away from throwing you over his shoulder like a caveman and taking you away from everyone. There were so many filthy things he wanted to say and do to you…

And your bluntness didn’t seem to bother the blonde. “I thought you two were already having relations. With how close you two-”

“I’m sorry. Did you just say ‘relations’?” Clint asked. “Relations.”

“Is that not what they’re discussing?” Thor asked, taking a sip from his flask. “Though if there is no protection there is the risk of procreating, but they would have beautiful offspring.”

You leaned in a bit closer, but Bucky gripped your arms to move you away from his spot. “I don't want the glass to cut you.”

“You're so thoughtful. And amazing,” you smiled. He adored your smile. “And if a breeding kink is what you’re into, actually breeding me or not, I’m all for it. I’m wet just thinking about it.”

Thor laughed and held up his flask. “That’s the spirit.”

Bucky’s cock twitched in his pants. “I know you’re wet. I can smell it,” he all but growled. He inhaled so deeply he could actually taste it, and he wanted more. And if he could smell it, Steve could smell it.

“Okay then.” Clint removed his hearing aid. “I think I’m done.”

Steve jumped up when his best friend glared at him. “I think I’m done, too,” he said, not wanting to face Bucky’s wrath even though it wasn’t his fault he also had heightened senses.

“Let’s go, boys. I think these two should talk without us,” Natasha suggested, hauling Sam up by the arm and giving both of you a wink. “Be good, okay?”

“No promises,” you replied in a sing-song voice.

“Shouldn’t they get a room? I’m just saying,” Sam said as Natasha dragged him away.

“Breed her well, Barnes. Make us proud!” Thor shouted. Steve hauled him from the room, too, with Clint hot on their tail.

“Alone at last,” you giggled. If you were at all embarrassed, it didn’t show. And now that the two of you were alone, the tension skyrocketed. “You know, this isn't how I pictured saying any of this, but here we are.”

“Here we are,” he said. He couldn't believe you wanted him, but you did.

“I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable or weird. I’d never want that.”

“That’s the last thing I feel,” he exhaled, still gripping your arms when you finally moved into his lap and straddled him.

“Good,” you smiled, leaning in for a kiss.

As much as he wanted to feel your lips against his, he stopped you. And as much as he wanted to tear your leggings away and have you then and there, but he couldn’t. “I’m not fucking you. Not tonight.”

The playfulness slipped from your eyes. So did the smile from your face. “Oh. I thought…” you breathed, looking away and quickly blinking. God, he hoped there weren’t tears in your eyes. “You don’t actually want me, do you?”

Bucky hadn’t meant for his words or stopping the kiss to come across as rejection, but that was exactly what happened. “That’s not–”

“Oh, my God. I ruined everything, didn't I? Why did I open my mouth?” You sniffled and tried to move away, but he wouldn't let you. “Six months of friendship and crushing on you and I-”

“Hey. You didn't ruin a thing.” Bucky gripped your chin with tenderness he didn’t think he was capable of anymore, and his heart broke when he saw the tears swimming in your beautiful eyes. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life,” he admitted, brushing a tear away that fell. “But you’ve been drinking, and that means you can’t fully consent, and I will not take advantage of you, no matter how you say you want me or this. I respect and care for you too much for that.”

HYDRA took consent away from Bucky for a long time, and it was one of the worst feelings in the world. He’d hate himself for doing anything with you without your full consent. He wouldn’t be the kind of man who did that. The man you deserved would be the one who properly took care of you in and out of bed.

And he’d be the best man for you if you let him.

“So, you do want me?” you asked, your voice uncertain.

“I did say more than anyone else, and I meant it,” he replied. You had to believe him. “But our first time should happen when you're sober.”

However you wanted your first time to be, he'd make it happen. He'd make love to you or fuck you or both. As long as there was clear consent and communication, he’d give you everything you needed and more, and he knew you'd do the same for him.

The smile you gave him repaired the cracks in his heart. “You’re a good guy, Bucky,” you said, snuggling against him. “And it isn’t just sex I want, but, well, I do want to have sex with you.”

“You’re adorable,” he chuckled and rested his chin on your head. “And I know. It isn't just sex I want either.”

Bucky wanted to take you to bed, but he also wanted to take you out on dates. He wanted to make you laugh and smile, wipe your tears and comfort you when you cried, and be the one you confided in. He wanted to be your man, and he wanted you to be his best girl.

“I wanna be yours,” you sighed as if you read his mind, his heart skipping a beat. “Can I be your girl?”

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes when he kissed the top of your head. “You can be my girl.”

And tomorrow once you were sober, he’d officially ask you to be his girl.

Happy Moanday, lovelies! Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi