#but when the teacher came back in the student couldn’t tell on my sister for pushing him off the desk

[asgardtotrenzalore]

*stares at my mom not getting her two CLEARLY neurodivergent kids diagnosed when they were in school*

Not telling your kid they have a learning disability, chronic illness, mental illness etc. so they can “feel normal” actually does the opposite. They will not feel normal if they do not have the context to understand that their normal will be different from that of their peers.

[caffeinewitchcraft]

WIBTA for going to my high school reunion even though the two witches I stripped of magic are going?

(Read for free on Patreon (X))

I (28 witch) was in a coven during high school. Not really even a coven. We weren’t recognized and there wasn’t a clear division of responsibilities. We did have a high priestess but she hadn’t Declared or been Initiated or whatever she believed. Looking back, her learning was all over the place (and a little problematic, honestly. I remember her calling a poppet a Voodoo doll before being called out by another member). Let’s call her Sarah.

Sarah was a year older than the rest of us (still the same grade though) and her mom was a witch so that made her the high priestess. She was the one who would organize all of our rituals and held the power of veto over any proposed spells. While you think that’d mean she’d provide the ingredients, she never did. She did tell us what to buy and, let me tell you, some of those things were expensive for a high schooler. We met in the park behind her house, and she demanded that at least one of us be in every one of her classes. If we weren’t, we’d be “cycled” out of the coven until our parents convinced the school to transfer us in.

Any alt kid knows what I’m talking about because they had a Sarah in their life. If she was angry, we had to be angry (and a little afraid of her). If she was sad, we were expected to ask why. If she was happy, we had to be even more happy. You get the picture.

The problem came when Sarah added Jess (fake name) to the Coven during the start of our junior year. It was the first time Sarah allowed someone else from a witch family to join. Jess was a transfer student from England. She told us all that that made her magic deeper and more powerful because she was a “daughter of the witches you could not burn.” When I pointed out that that statement is historically inaccurate, Jess called me a “pilgrim.” She tried to convince Sarah to blind me (take away my decision-making power in the coven), but I was the only one with reliable access to dried herbs (my mom’s a botanist and didn’t count her stores like Sarah’s mom did), so Sarah said no.

Jess’ dislike of me got worse when I actually did dress like a pilgrim for Halloween that year. And, if I’m honest, I did take it a little far. I was a hot-headed kid. I followed her around the entire day and had kids sign one of two petitions – “Burn” or “Not Burn.” When the Burn Petition won, I could tell I went too far (there were a LOT of signatures).  I tried to make it a joke and told her that now she really was a witch we couldn’t burn.

Jess and I got in our first physical fight. Sarah eventually broke it up, but not before Jess ripped out a good chunk of my hair, and I broke the tiger’s eye bracelet she wore.

 I later heard from another coven member that Jess tried to lay a curse on me that night. Unfortunately for her, I was pretty interested in defensive work and had a fresh witch’s jar buried under my window. Her curse got caught in it and rebounded. Apparently, that’s how Jess got pink eye, not from her younger sister.

We fought like cats and dogs. Any time Jess would talk about England, I’d make fun of her accent. When I brought up what spell I’d like to do, Jess would call me a juvenile pilgrim. Eventually, Jess got smart. She’d text me insults rather than say them to my face so that she’d have a chance to tattle to Sarah before I got the chance to hit back.

Sarah pulled me aside at least three times to “address” the fights. She basically said that I needed to respect Jess more because she came from a witch family, like her. She told me I could learn a lot from Jess if I stopped acting like a human. When I pointed out that we are humans, just humans who have elected to use magic, she got really mad.

And when Sarah got mad, she could make life really difficult.

My spell for luck on midterms got passed over for Jess’ jinx on our English teacher. The jinx worked and Ms. Edel tripped, but guess who still came to class with a broken leg? MS. EDEL. Guess who failed their midterm?

ALL SEVEN OF US.

Damn, I can’t believe I’m still upset by this petty high school drama. Therapy did not work.

So safe to say that Jess and I never became friends. I love magic now and loved it then, but she took it so seriously. I’ve always believed magic should be fun. All the spells she brought to the coven required a spirit element—blood, hair, sacrifice. One of the members was a strict green witch and had to drop out because of it. We missed two full moons until Sarah approved Eileen to rejoin after she woke up from her coma.

(And before anyone freaks out about the coma – we all ended up in comas here and there. We were a bunch of uneducated and untrained baby witches who all had different belief systems. The fact that there wasn’t anything worse than a coma is a miracle. She wasn’t traumatized by it any more than I was by mine.)

Jess and I mostly avoided each other for the rest of the year. We always voted against the other’s spell and I’m fairly certain she tried to trip jinx me in the hall as often as I tried to trip jinx her. Sarah never tried to diffuse the tension between us. She confided in Eileen that she was grateful we kept each other in check.

Things could have continued on that way until we all moved away for college (or repeated the year after failing all those midterms) if it weren’t for the vernal equinox. Or, as we inaccurately called it, the Spring Solstice.

The way it worked was that we all got to propose a ritual during equinoxes. They’re powerful magical events on their own and when you bring intent to the party? They were always our biggest, most successful workings.

Sarah always chose what we did on those days. She pretended like we got to vote, but we all knew she would never choose one of our rituals. My freshman year, she made us all do one for beauty. Because it was a “make real what is in the eye of the beholder” type, some of our transformations were a little…traumatizing. I’m only telling you this so you understand the power an equinox has, okay? I do not think this way anymore. Other members were just as extreme. Eileen went from a Wendy from Wendy’s to a Jessica Rabbit. And I…

Well.

I grew rabbit ears and teeth. That doesn’t make me a furry! Who Framed Roger Rabbit? was super influential on BOTH Eileen and me. I was a kid and didn’t understand my own concept of beauty. It took almost three months before I got the ears to go away entirely.

Suffice it to say, we were all excited and nervous for what ritual Sarah would pick, which is why it was a blow to find out that she had picked a ritual - Jess’ ritual.

A ritual for power.

I didn’t want to do it from day one, okay? My belief is that whatever magic comes to you naturally is what’s okay to take. I think if you rip magic up from the earth or the abyss, it’ll change you. Maybe even corrupt you or change your personality.

But I was a kid and didn’t know how to explain that. Jess and Sarah were both from witch families and they seemed to think it was okay. Even though I didn’t like Jess, I did see her as a more “authentic” witch because of that. I know better now, but as a kid seeing all of her grimoires, I gave her false authority.

Jess explained the ritual to us over the next month. She talked about how we were going to be “tested.” The ritual would pull our spiritual selves from our bodies, and depending on how long we chanted, we’d return to them with more or less magic than when we started. She said that everyone in her family did it when they turned 18.

It wasn’t until three days before the equinox that she told us what would happen if one of us were to be judged unworthy.

“Mostly nothing,” she said. I remember her exact words, how her black hair spun as she soared through the air on the swings. We stood in a half circle before her and Sarah as they swung higher and higher. An audience to their aerial court. She said, “Sometimes people lose some of their magic. When the ritual decides they don’t deserve it.”

Eileen asked, “When the ritual decides? It’s sentient?”

“There’s an overseer we’ll call on,” Sarah said. She’d been the only one allowed to read Jess’ grimoire. Her lip curled and she leaned forward so she could look down over Eileen like an avenging angel as she swung overhead. “An impartial entity.”

“I am not a deity witch,” I said. I had long ago committed that I would never call on a higher being in any ritual. Most of our spells had to be modified for me so that I could swear to the cardinal directions rather than to the Morrigan or Hecate. “You know that.”

“You’re not swearing to anyone,” Sarah said and rolled her eyes.

“Which means no one is swearing to us,” Eileen muttered under her breath. But I could tell she had given up by the slump of her shoulders.

“It’s only the unworthy who lose their magic,” Jess reassured. Her eyes flashed at me. “Scared you’re unworthy?”

Yes. I was scared. I know better now than to think lineage has any place in witchcraft. It’s about the magic, always just the magic. But months of hearing their rhetoric had worn at my self-esteem. It really felt like if I didn’t do the ritual, I was as good as admitting I wasn’t a witch. If I did do the ritual…

Well. Obviously, I did the ritual.

I was a hot-headed teen, okay? I felt challenged. I decided that I would wear extra protections. Tiger’s eye and quartz charged with intention. I picked out a silver locket my mother gave me, filled with belladonna. She told me it symbolized beauty and choice.

Now, here’s where I may be the asshole.

I can’t give you a play-by-play of the ritual. It was ten years ago, and calling on that much magic has a funny way of warping memory. But what I do remember is this:

We gathered in the park before sunrise. Seven of us in new colors – spring green, white, soft yellow and pink. Jess made us get rid of anything with a working on it – crystals, cards, and ladders. She collected them all in a linen bag and threw them into the woods. I couldn’t get away with my tiger’s eye or quartz, but she missed the pendant my mother gave me. It was a warm comfort against my chest as we began.

We lit the fire together, each of us frantically thumbing our lighter to make sure the sparks caught at the same time.

Jess brought the chalice. We all cut our palms and let seven drops fall into it. (No, we didn’t use a clean blade. My cut got infected as hell and it itches like a witch. I know better now!) She bade us drink, and we did.

“Now the magic will see us as equal,” Sarah said while Jess prepared the next step. She licked her lips as if savoring the blood. “It will only be our wills determining the outcome.”

Jess doused us with oil and herbs. It smelled sharp and uneasy. I had provided the herbs and knew all of them were either fresh or dried to perfection. But it was rancid. There was rot in the air, but I couldn’t place it then. I wrinkled my nose and took up the chanting with the others to distract myself from the smell.

If you’ve ever chanted before, you know the stages. First, you’re just talking. You say the words and they mean something, but you don’t feel them. Then your mouth gets tired. You start messing up the timing of the words. You stutter. You stumble. The words lose meaning. Most people stop there. They fall silent and sink into a shallow meditation with heads full of fog.

You’re only a witch if you can reach the next step. You keep saying the words. They become comfortable. You wear the words like clothes and feel your cadence curl through you like a companion. Your body goes on autopilot and your mind relaxes. The chant turns smooth as silk. Depending on the chant, you lose yourself to the sweetness of your coven singing. Sometimes, you sink into the earth with them. Other times, you ride the flow of the magic like waves.

This time, the words pulled us away from our bodies. Jess slowly introduced new words to our chant. Words of summoning.

We called upon the Overseer.

Pressure fell around me like a vice. I couldn’t breathe even as the ritual fell from my lips without breaking. Magic had, at that point, always given me control. This? This was a complete loss of it.

I felt myself compressing. Smaller and smaller in the face of the being that was rising in the middle of the flames. It was not an observer. The moment I “saw” it, its endless form writhing in the space between the smoke, I knew that. It was a judge and jury.

It was a spider.

We chanted. It grew. It pulled us from our bodies like spiderweb and spooled our essences onto its forelimbs. It was not what Jess described and, simultaneously, it was. We were being tested. Our psyches were being tested.

So long as we chanted, the being would be contained. However, the longer it was contained, the more of us it could take. If we let it go, what would it do? Would it return any part of our magic to us? Any part of who we were?

Or would it eat?

This wasn’t a test of magic. It was a test of faith. Faith in each other and faith in the ritual.

For those practitioners out there, you can see the problem. I didn’t enter the ritual with faith. My intent was flawed from the beginning. We’d had spells fail because of lack of belief. I had never been the person who didn’t believe.

Until then

My words wavered. The Overseer turned its eyes to me. I could see my magic like thread before it, shimmering against the backdrop of its maw.

Then another tremor. Eileen dropped a word. The Overseer split and looked at both of us. Someone else faltered. One of the coven – I couldn’t see them – fell and went silent.

The sky yawned overhead, empty and cold. The embers from the fire spun up into it and were lost. The Overseer rippled and I felt our coven shrink in the face of it.

I gasped around the chant and looked across the fire. The light licked Jess’ gleeful face. Her eyes hungered for my failure. I could see it. Through the connection of the Overseer, I could feel it.

Jess and Sarah changed the chant. To this day, I don’t remember if they taught it to the rest of us. There are so many parts of the ritual that I’ve left out or forgotten. But I remember them chanting different words. The circle grew discordant.

“I offer my magic so I may be unspun and woven anew,” they said. The words have imprinted themselves like bitters under my tongue. “I offer my magic so I may—”

Some of the other members tried to pick up the new chant. Their voices grew weaker and the Overseer’s limbs began to extend out towards each one of us.

I wouldn’t offer my magic to that thing. I wouldn’t be unspun.  Eileen was stuttering. I saw her fall to her knees. I was close behind.

I threw my necklace into the flames.

Belladonna. Beautiful and deadly. It has meant choice to many women and many of them have been from my own family. It's extreme and it’s final. An end that doesn’t always make room for a new beginning.

Pretty words that cover up what I meant when I threw it into the Overseer.

My intent was Death.

Entities never die. I’m sure the Overseer didn’t. It howled. The wind kicked up and brought the flames into a spiral ten feet tall. Its forelimbs shattered, and I reeled myself back together greedily.

Not all of us were safe from the Overseer’s desperate struggle against my death curse.

Sarah and Jess were alone in the third phase of the ritual. They had changed the chant. They had offered their magic and asked the entity to do with it what it will. They believed.

And because they believed, the Overseer took their magic with it.

I think it was the first coma Jess ever fell into. Her family certainly acted like it. They whisked her back to the East Coast before the end of the year. I heard from Eileen that she woke up shortly after I left for college.

Magicless.

Sarah too.

I fully own that I was responsible for the ritual failing. I panicked. I’ve gone through every excuse over the years. I didn’t know what the ritual really was. I was just a kid. I took magic too lightly. It was their fault for not letting us read the grimoire for ourselves. But, at the end of the day, the real reason the ritual failed was because I panicked and I let that panic break my belief.

I moved on to college and it felt like running away. I’ve never returned to my hometown. I’m happy with the life I’ve built. My magic summer camp gives me time to travel during the winter months, and I feel like I’m making a real difference in young witches’ lives.

Nowadays I teach young witches to never do a working without full intent. If they have doubts, they don’t do it. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way ten years ago. I tell them it can cost them more than their magic. It can cost them their lives.

Eileen is still back home and she says Sarah rarely comes out of her house. Sometimes she sees our former high priestess wandering the school grounds on nights of the full moon. I hear from other members of the coven that Jess’ family put out a bounty on me a few years ago. However, I never saw an assassin so I think that was just a rumor.

So, knowing that they’re still not over it, would I be the asshole for attending my high school reunion next month? I’ve been craving reconnection with my roots, but I’d be subjecting Sarah and Jess (though Jess marked Maybe on the RSVP) to my presence.

I know they must hold a grudge. If they were still witches, that would be a problem. I don’t think I’d be able to defend myself from one of their workings since I blame myself for what happened. But since they’re not, it’s not really a danger. That’s pretty asshole-ish, right? Ignoring their feelings because they don’t have the magic to back it up?

So WIBTA for attending my high school reunion even though the two girls I stripped of magic will be attending?

-----

Thanks for reading! It looks like I'll have quite a few updates for the anthology! I am still obsessed with this format and can't wait to share some of the updates over the next few weeks.

If you'd like to support me before the anthology, please consider supporting me on Patreon (X)! I post new stories every week and many of my patrons saw the above story a week early.

The current AITA story takes place in the same universe as our former Cryptid (X). About a poor, poor boy who is just proud to be a regional Nightmare. Why is everyone so mad at him?

See y'all next week!

[azzibuckets]

COMPLETE MESS [paige bueckers]

paige bueckers x teacher!oc

summary: natasha meets one of her students’ sisters, and she’s enthralled

a/n: lmk if yall want me to make more parts!

word count: 3.3k

masterlist

I stretched out my back with a groan. I loved teaching; it had been my dream job since I was a kid, but sometimes it drained the life out of my bones. Third graders could be an absolute menace, especially on days like today where they’d figured out how to make paper airplanes and had started flying them across the room, sneakily giggling whenever my back was turned.

It didn’t help that later tonight would be open house, when the families of students would come to visit the school to see for themselves what their children have been learning and working on for the past few months. The parents were always nice enough, but it was a drag having to clean up the classroom, hang up everyone’s projects, and decorate the walls and desks.

I checked my watch. Half an hour to go. I knew some eager children hauling their parents along would start arriving soon, so I smoothed down my skirt. I had to make good impressions, considering the fact that a lot of parents didn’t take me seriously because of how young I was.

Wanting to greet parents in the hallway as they entered my classroom, I stepped outside, but there must have been someone waiting directly outside the door because I heard a thump and a little “Ow!” Panicking at the idea of having just sent a little kid sprawling to the fooor in front of their parents, I rushed around the door, breathing in relief when I only saw one of my students, Drew, with no parents in sight.

“Drew, buddy,” I laughed. “What’re you doing?”

Drew pouted, trying to collect the pieces of Legos that were now scattered across the floor. “I was waiting because the door was locked and you hit me!”

I bent down and started picking up Lego pieces. “What have I told you about standing there, Drew?” I reminded him. Drew was one of my favorite students - he was hyper and often forgot about things like not standing behind the door, but he was so cheerful and positive all the time that I couldn’t help but always smile at his mischievous antics.

“I know, I just got excited! My mom and dad are coming to see my Lego project and so is my big sister!”

I ruffled his hair. “Your big sister! Woah! I would love to meet her.” I couldn’t remember her name, I think it started with a P, but Drew talked about her all the time, and I could tell that he absolutely adored her. “Where are your parents, by the way? You’re very early.”

“I made them come early,” Drew explained, finally grabbing the last Lego and dumping all the pieces unceremoniously into his backpack. “But Paige had to pee, so they went to the bathroom. I think I was supposed to wait outside for them but I wanted to come here!”

“Alright.” I got up, offering a hand to Drew, who accepted but pulled so hard he almost dragged me down again. “Come inside and sit while you wait. But don’t mess around, alright?”

Much to my surprise, Drew stayed quiet in his seat, not making any noise. I busied myself with adjusting the posters on the wall for what seemed like the hundredth time. A piece of tape had gotten loose on one of the papers, and just as I reached to fix it, the entire poster came tumbling to the ground. Signing, I bent down to pick it up.

“Damn, I could study this,” a deep voice whistled from behind me.

I immediately straightened myself, mortified. Cheeks burning, I turned around to reprimand whoever had just made a ridiculously inappropriate joke in a classroom setting, with a student sitting just feet away.

Leaning against the doorway was a blonde woman, whose hair was pulled back into a clean ponytail with shockingly no flyaways. She looked young, but was intimidatingly tall. Although she wasn’t smiling, her deep blue eyes were dancing with amusement, her slightly cocked eyebrows showing intriguement. Both hands were stuffed into the pocket of her sweatpants, her stance nonchalant. Whoever she was, she was gorgeous, with one of those faces people would pause and look back at if they passed on the street.

My mouth opened, but all semblances of what was supposed to be a lecture on respecting women faded. I didn’t know why my throat was suddenly dry, my heart suddenly pounding against my chest so hard I feared my ribs would break.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to end up saying anything, because Drew jumped up from his seat and ran to the blonde. “Miss Natasha!” he exclaimed. “Meet Paige, my sister!”

My eyebrows shot up. This was Drew’s sister? All this time, you’d been imagining a timid and sweet girl, not someone who was dressed in basically pajamas but still looked like they stepped out of a magazine.

Paige stepped closer to me, a dangerous smirk playing on the edge of her lips. “I’m Paige Bueckers,” she introduced herself. “Very nice to meet you.”

My jaw tightened. I didn’t appreciate this girl’s cocky attitude. I’ve known girls like Paige before; sexy and alluring, but with egos up their asses, who thought that they could flirt with you and do whatever they wanted because they were drop dead gorgeous. Especially considering the treatment I often faced, with fathers of my students often making suggestive remarks and creepy innuendos, causing their wives to get angry at me as if it was my fault that their husbands couldn’t stop ogling at someone twenty years younger than them. So I finally gathered my courage. “I don’t know who you think you are,” I said lowly, trying not to let Drew hear, “but you don’t get to come into my classroom and start making unseemly advancements. Especially in front of my students.”

Paige’s eyes flitted down, tracing my face and dropping for a second to my lips before slowly dragging its way down my body. She was blatantly and unashamedly undressing me with her eyes, and I almost reached for my jacket.

“Unseemly,” she echoed, nodding to herself. “Yeah. Definitely a teacher.”

I rolled my eyes, already frustrated. “Drew,” you said sweetly, bending down to look him in the eye. “Where are your parents?”

“They ran into one of his friends’ parents,” Paige responded for him. “But I’m here. Why don’t you walk me through everything, teach?”

I loathed myself for the way my heart skipped a beat at her stupid nickname. “It’s hard to walk you through Drew’s progress this trimester if you’re constantly trying to flirt with me,” you hissed through gritted teeth.

“Paige, stop making Miss Natasha mad!” Drew intervened, giving his sister a little push and running to give you a hug. You smiled gratefully at the little boy, taking delight in the way Paige’s eyes narrowed with jealousy.

“Whatever, I can be chill. But I actually wanna see the projects Drew’s been talking about, so can we get started?” The blonde asked impatiently, as if she hadn’t been the one obnoxiously flirting.

So I started showing Drew’s works that he’d created the past few months. When I got to the Lego Fortnite set he’d built, he’d started rambling about the project and going into a detailed explanation of how he built it. I could see Paige attentively listening at first, but as Drew kept talking, her attention slowly shifted to me.

“Whenever we Facetime, Drew talks about his teacher a lot,” Paige mused quietly as Drew paused his tangent to look over the set and make sure all the pieces were intact. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.” Her eyes darted to me again, and I wondered at how anybody ever talked to this girl with how intense her stare was.

I chewed my lip. It was always nice seeing the impact U made on your kids; it made all the hard work and tears worth it. It’s what I’ve always aimed to do - change their lives. “Thank you,” I said softly. “Same with you. Drew won’t ever shut up about you, especially at recess when the kids are playing basketball. You play, right?”

Paige’s eyes shined, a smile forming on her face. “I am. I play at UConn.”

I gaped at her. “Please don’t tell me you’re a freshman in college.” Although she had been the one making the innuendos, it still made me uncomfortable at the idea of an 18 year old even thinking about me this way.

Thankfully, Paige shook her head. “I’m 22. A senior. You?”

“I’m 24.”

Paige grinned again. “Perfect. Not too old for me then.”

I rolled my eyes, my annoyance returning. “Do you have no shame? I could have a significant other for all you’d know. I’m also your brother’s teacher.”

Paige tilted her head, studying me. “Do you have a significant other?” Her tone made it clear that she already knew the answer.

“That’s not important,” I said looking away. The corners of Paige’s lips turned upwards, and I wanted to punch the satisfaction off her face.

“I’ve actually always thought teachers were very attractive,” Paige murmured, her tone now husky. She leaned in closer to me, one hand stabilizing herself on the desk. “With their glasses and their skirts.” Her tongue darted out, wetting her bottom lip.

“I’m not wearing glasses,” I stammered. Every cell in my body was screaming at myself to back away and create some distance between me and this random girl, but I couldn’t.

“Maybe not, but you’re wearing a skirt. Although to be honest, I’d like it better if there was nothing there at all,” she rasped. She leaned in closer, the atmosphere between us now charged, but at the same moment Drew’s parents walked in.

I immediately jumped up and stumbled backwards, humiliated at having been caught in such a position with their daughter. I chastised myself - how could I be acting so unprofessionally while on the job? We hadn’t done anything wrong, per se, but the proximity we’d been sitting in was definitely way beyond what was appropriate for a teacher and one of their students’ family members.

“Mr. and Mrs. Bueckers!” I squeaked, clearing my throat and ignoring the way Paige started smirking as she observed my awkwardness. “So nice to see you guys again!”

Bob Bueckers looked curiously between the two of us, but nonetheless he stuck out his hand and flashed a friendly smile. “Miss Natasha! How have you been?”

I re-explained to the Bueckers all of Drew’s activities and achieevments, but this time with Paige silently burning me with her relentless gaze from behind her dad and step-mom. Every time I glared at her in an effort to get her to stop, her intensity only increased. I hated how flustered she was able to make me without even saying a word, so as soon as I finished, I quickly excused myself to talk to other parents.

Somewhere in the midst of my conversations with other families, the Bueckers disappeared, and I assumed they went to visit Drew’s other teachers. I tried to get Paige out of my mind, but for the entire night her face was burned into the back of my mind, God knows why. It seemed like the longest night ever - an endless stream of parents all fighting for my attention so they could talk about their kid, combined with my short interactions from Paige earlier that night still nagging at me. Unsurprisingly, I was completely exhausted by the time open house night ended.

It was almost 10 PM when I finished cleaning and wrapping up for the night. I locked up my classroom and headed to the bathroom for a quick pit stop before leaving. As I walked past the gym, though, I swore I heard sounds filtering in from under the doors. I paused, unsure of what to do. The gym was definitely supposed to be closed by now; almost the entire school was empty and dark save a couple janitors and lingering teachers. But it was getting late, and I honestly didn’t want to have to deal with another issue. Besides, I wasn’t sure if I even heard a noise.

So I turned around and kept walking, until a loud giggle followed by a “Shhh!” turned my feet right back. Marching to the front entrance, I tried to open the doors, but was met with resistance. Huffing, I pushed harder, but whoever was on the other end was strong. I gave one last push before jogging to the side entrance. This time, the door opened with ease, showing a completely empty gym - except for a familiar blonde woman and one of your students leaning against the doors at the front entrance.

Heat flooded your cheeks, and this time it wasn’t from embarrassment, but from anger. “Are you serious right now?” I stomped aggressively towards the two culprits, both of whom looked like guilty children that’d just been caught eating chocolate in the middle of the night - except one was a 22 year old college student who definitely knew better. “I cannot believe this is real right now.” I ran your head through my hair, my voice shocked with disbelief. “How did you even get in here?” I looked around, realizing that there had to be at least 20 basketballs scattered across the floor of the gym. “And where did all these balls come from?”

Paige scratched the back of her neck, sheepishness on her face. “Uh, we might’ve found a way to get into the storage room.”

“How did you even get inside the gym in the first place?” You shrieked, trying not to lose full control over yourself.

Paige winced. “I might’ve taught Drew how to pick locks? And he was trying to show me how much he’s been practicing.” She looked over at her little brother in desperation, who in turn ran behind her and started hiding behind her legs. “I mean, I didn’t think he’d actually be able to unlock the gym when he started showing me!” Paige justified. “But then he unlocked it and then I saw the court and I couldn’t not get a few hoops in.” She trailed off at that last part, slowly realizing how ridiculous she sounded.

“Oh my god.” I started frantically running around, chucking basketballs into the cart. “Never in my two years of teaching have I seen such unapologetic inappropriate behavior.” I turned around and jabbed a finger in Paige’s direction, my chest heaving with exertment. “You are single handedly worse than my entire class of third graders combined.”

Paige’s mouth dropped open. “Hey! This was Drew’s idea!”

“Paigeeee!” Drew whined, cowering further behind his older sister.

After collecting several more balls, I gave up. I slumped down on the floor. “Unbelievable,” I uttered to myself. “Unbelievable. A 22 year old breaking into school property and blaming it on her 8 year old brother. Unbelievable!”

Paige hesitantly walked nearer to me, concern in her eyes. “Stop,” I threatened once she got within a few feet. “Or I might bite.”

Paige started to laugh, but the look I sent her was so menacing that she immediately shut up. “Hey,” she said softly. “Look, I’m sorry. But what’s the big deal? It’s not like you’re gonna get in trouble for anything.”

“I just wanted to go home,” I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “It’s 10 PM and today has been the longest day of my life.”

I startled when I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. Looking up, I was surprised to see the face of Drew. “I’m sorry, Miss Nat,” he whispered, regret in his eyes. “But Paige hasn’t been home in forever and she said she would help me with basketball when she came back. We didn’t mean to make you mad.”

I knew it shouldn’t, but my heart melted at his words. This is why you’re weak, I cursed to myself. A pair of puppy dog eyes and you’re all bent up. Shaking my head slowly, I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

“Hey,” Paige interrupted. “The damage is already done. This gym is unlocked and I’m pretty sure everyone else has left. Why don’t we show you what we’ve been working on so you know we haven’t been up to no good?”

I got up from my crumpled position on the floor, tightly gripping my purse. “No,” I said wearily. “I think I’m okay. I just wanna get some sleep at home.”

“Please,” Drew begged. “Can I show you just one of my shots? Paige said it looks a lot better from last time!”

“Just one!” Paige joined in. “One won’t hurt.”

I stared at the two of them, both of them with their hands interlocked as if they were praying, their eyes eager and hopeful. I couldn’t even believe myself, but the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it. “Fine. Just one.”

“Yessss!” The two siblings high fived each other and I fought back a smile, trying to maintain my serious demeanor.

“You aren’t ready for this,” Paige smirked, and you only rolled your eyes in response. “Alright, ready bud?”

“Ready!” Drew called back, bouncing excitedly up and down on the balls of his feet. He started sprinting down the court, and Paige quickly passed him a ball.

He dribbled between his legs, almost losing it but recovering as he made his way to the net. “Drew Bueckers on a breakaway!” Paige narrated, cupping her hands around her mouth as she mimicked a sports commentator. “Three seconds remaining on the shot clock!”

Drew started making his way closer to the net, dribbling behind his back and faking out ghost defenders.

“Three….”

Drew landed on his right foot and pivoted.

“Two….”

Drew spun on his foot and faced the basket.

“One….”

Right before Paige finished counting down, Drew cocked his arm and released, sending the ball flying up and then down, straight into the net for a perfect layup.

“And he scooooooreeees!” Paige howled, running towards her brother and wrapping him up in a hug. This time, I couldn’t help it. I found myself smiling the hardest I’d smiled all night as I watched Paige swing Drew around as his infectious giggles filled the room.

“See?” Paige yelled to me once she set him down. “Wasn’t that epic?”

“So epic.” I beamed at the boy, who was now looking at me shyly. I cleared my throat. “But now we gotta clean up before someone finds this and gets yall in trouble.”

“Ooh, so she’s on our side now!” Paige poked Drew in the ribs teasingly, and he scampered away, laughing as he started picking up balls on the other side of the gym.

Paige turned to you, her expression serious now. “I think it’s your turn.”

“What?” I took a step back. “No, I think I’m actually good.”

“You not up for a little challenge?” Paige picked up a ball and spun it on one of her fingers, and I couldn’t deny that she looked incredibly hot while doing it.

“I can shoot a ball,” I insisted, folding my arms. “I just don’t want to right now.”

“Bull.” Paige extended her arm, offering the ball to you. “I bet you can’t make it from here.”

“Are you serious? We’re like three feet from the net!” I scoffed. I haven’t really shot many basketballs in my life, but how hard could it be? The net was right there.

“Alright, then shoot it.” When I stared at her blankly, still refusing to take the ball, Paige tossed it to me so that I was forced to catch it. “We’re not leaving till you shoot.”

Sighing, I bounced the ball once. Praying that the ball would land somewhere around the net, I launched it. The ball hit the backboard, slowly rolling around the rim of the net before falling to the side. I rolled my eyes. “That basically counts.”

Paige stifled a laugh. “If that basically counted, I’d be the all time leading scorer in the NCAA by now.” I pushed her, unamused. “Hey, now.” Paige picked up another ball. “I’ll teach you.”

I backed up, about to protest, but Paige stepped closer to me, so close that I could feel her breath hitting my skin, and I suddenly lost all ability to move. The blonde swallowed, her eyes darting to my lips for barely a moment before she refocused on the ball. Gently, she placed the ball in my hands, then stepped behind me. I felt hands grab my waist and pull me to her. When my hips suddenly collided with hers, I let out a gasp of surprise.

“Relax,” she murmured into my ear, her warm breath fanning my cheek. “You’re so tense.”

Her hands let go of my hips, and my body ached for the loss of her warmth until her arms wrapped around my own and guided them to the position she wanted. After my arms were in the right form, she positioned my legs and feet with her hands. Every time she touched me, her fingers lingering, I felt light headed, as if my blood sugar was about to crash.

“Okay,” she breathed, stepping back to take a look. “Beautiful.” I had a feeling she wasn’t only talking about my shooting form, and my heart lurched.

“Shoot.”

This time when I let the ball go, it reached the net, sliding through with a satisfying swoosh. I let out a little shout and turned around, giving Paige a bright smile. She chuckled at my excitement. “Good, huh?” she teased.

“You’re not bad,” I responded as nonchalantly as I could. A little flirting never hurt anyone.

She raised an eyebrow. “Not bad, huh? You should come to one of my games. You’ll see how ‘not bad’ I really am.”

“Go to one of your games?” I smiled suggestively, closing the distance between us until we were closer than we’d been before. I licked my lips. “You’re moving a little fast, Bueckers.”

“Fast,” Paige repeated, her voice throaty. “That’s how I roll.” I finally let my eyes fall to her lips, finally noticing how pink and soft they looked.

My hands somehow landed on her chest. Her fingers touched my chin, tilting it upward. Before I knew it, her lips were on mine, and I was on fire. I grazed her cheeks with my fingertips, her skin hot and flushed under my touch. She’d barely brushed her lips against mine though, when a basketball suddenly dropped, pulling me into my senses.

I jumped back, staring in disbelief at the blonde. Her hair was slightly mussed up, her eyes darkened as she watched me. “Oh my god,” I whispered to myself. “Oh my god, you just kissed your student’s sister.” I brought my fingers to my lips.

“That was barely a kiss,” Paige complained. “How about you c’mere and I’ll show you how it’s really done?”

“Fucking hell, no!” You steppped back from Paige, glancing over at Drew to see if he’d saw us. Thankfully, he was still preoccupied putting the basketballs away.

“You guys need to hurry and clean up. I gotta go tell the janitors to lock up the gym. You need to be gone from here before they come.” You turned around, frantically looking around for your purse. Once you spotted it, you grabbed it and started rushing out.

“Hey!” Paige yelled out, her hands to her side. “Where are you going?”

I swallowed hard, not responding as the doors of the gym slammed behind me. Ice traveled through my veins. How could I have gotten mixed up in that? If I’d gotten caught by one of my coworkers kissing one of my student’s family members in a gym that was broken into, I’d be fired on the spot. Getting this job had been hard enough - no one wanted a 24 year old female fresh out of college. I could not be participating in risky behavior like this.

Paige was attractive, no doubt. But she was also cocky, and arrogant, and Drew’s sister. She also lived in Connecticut. This would never work out, I reminded yourself. So when I went home and jumped in the shower, I tried to scrub off any memory of Paige’s tantalizing lips.

[mavens-confessional]

Private School Confession… this might trigger some, might also make you cum…idk .., it’s a long read so buckle up

The same year that my step-brother did those things to me (see previous post), I went back school and found that my teacher was one of the nuns who had also taught me in elementary school. I was now 14 and in 9th grade. This nun always took an interest in me and I was teachers pet when she taught me as a child. She seemed delighted to have me in her class and commented about what a pretty young lass I was turning out to be. She was Irish, as most of the nuns were at this school.

One day, a boy in my class took me behind a building at recess and tried to French kiss me. I was so nervous, but I let him kiss me on the lips, but he pulled me closer and tried to put his tongue in my mouth and I literally ran away from him with my heart beating a mile a minute. Well, it was all over school in about 20 minutes. I was so embarrassed and one of the boys called me a tease.

The next day at lunch, Sister Margaret called me and asked me to come to her office. I was a straight A student and never got into any trouble, but I knew it was about the incident the day before.

She had me sitting in front of her desk, and she looked at me and asked “Did you kiss that boy yesterday?” My face was burning with shame. Because we were taught that only “bad girls” did things with boys. I looked down and said “Yes, Sr Margaret - but only a little, and then I ran away”. She came and stood in front of me and said “Now you know Maven, that was sinful. You are a good girl, and God wants you to be pure.” I nodded and felt tears welling up. She grabbed my chin and made me look at her and said “Did you let him touch you?” “What? I., um.. no Sister”

“Well, that’s a good lass, but I think we need to make sure the sin is gone from you”. I was petrified because our school still used corporal punishment. I knew I was going to be spanked and that had never happened in all my years going to this school. I couldn’t help crying. I felt so shamed.

“Stand up” she said. I did as I was told. She sat in the chair I had been in. “Now, I’m doing this for your own good, and I want to teach you how to cleanse your soul, so God will love you, and you’ll continue to be a good girl. If you learn your lesson, you’ll continue to be my favorite student and we will forget about this whole incident. Is that understood?” “Yes Sister”.

“Now, be a good girl and bend over my lap.” I thought this was odd because they usually made the boys bend over the desk and used the paddle. But I thought maybe I’m a girl and she will go easy on me. I laid across her lap. She told me to hold on to the chair legs. I did as told.

Next, she lifted up my plaid skirt. I was wearing just white cotton panties. She put her hands on my little ass and asked:

“Maven - did that boy touch you here?” “ No Sister!” “That’s a good girl,” she said, while she was massaging my right buttock. She suddenly spanked me over the panties. It wasn’t very hard, but I felt very strange because her other hand was grasping my thigh, very high up and close to my groin. I felt myself getting hot all over. She spanked me again and this time it was harder. “Maven, did you like it when that boy kissed you? Tell the truth.” I was crying freely now, because the spanking was so degrading, “um..,I…I did, but I was scared because I know it’s sinful to…to..” I stuttered. “It’s sinful to what?” She asked, while she rubbed her hand around on my buttocks. “It’s sinful to be lustful” My voice cracked. I felt so hot and embarrassed, and….my heart was racing. Her other hand suddenly cupped my crotch - I gasped. “Yes Maven - lust is a sin! Did you let him touch you here in your private parts? Don’t lie - God knows if you are lying!”

“No no, he didn’t Sister - I swear!”

I was panicking. She was still cupping my crotch and I knew how warm it felt because my whole body was burning up. She removed her hand from my buttock and began to stroke my hair, and pet my pussy with her other hand. I was breathing so hard, my head felt like it would explode hanging down over her lap. I was getting aroused and I didn’t know what to do.

“Now Maven, why do you feel so warm down here?” She was stroking me through my panties and I could not help it. I was aroused. “I..I don’t know Sister…please..” I felt so humiliated. She moved my panties and touched my little virgin pussy with my peach fuzz pubic hairs barely growing… I was in complete shock. I felt so helpless and I was mortified that she was looking at and touching my private parts! “Maven - I think you have lustful thoughts. And how to we repent from lustful thoughts?” She was actively stroking my clit now and I was getting hotter and wet, and I was paralyzed with fear? Pleasure? She held my prone body with her sturdy arms and I knew better than to squirm. “We confess Sister,” I said through a stream of tears. “Yes my good lass - we confess. Now tell me the truth - does this feel good” “Yes, Sister,” I stuttered with burning shame. “Do you want to be my good girl? And keep being teachers pet?” “Yes…Yes Sister”. I whimpered, as I succumbed to how good it felt to have someone else touch me. “God willing, I will get this lust out of you - and you will be forgiven. Do you understand?” “Yes Sister!” I cried. I didn’t understand, but I was too freaked out to know what was happening. She pulled my panties down and they fell to my ankles, falling onto my saddle Oxford shoes and my lacy socks. She spread my legs wider and continued to rub my clit. “Do you ever touch yourself like this when you’re alone at night Maven?” “Yes,” I sobbed. She spanked me “and do you bring yourself to orgasm?” I nodded, too ashamed to answer and crying uncontrollably. “You know this is a sin! Bad girl!” She spanked me while rubbing my clit faster. I was so wet and I started to moan and buck my hips onto her lap. I couldn’t help it. She felt the wetness and spanked me again. “That’s a good girl. Come on Maven - God is watching. Show him the lustful little whore you really are and he will forgive you.” I was so confused and so aroused l. No one but my mother had ever seen my vagina. Not even during PE class, not even my best friends. But she kept rubbing my little mound and knew exactly what rhythm was making me wet…and I couldn’t believe Sister Margaret was doing this to me. And my God - she was about to make me cum. She put her finger inside my tight little cunt and continued to rub my clit with her thumb - I bucked and moved my hips like a wild animal. I was feral in my need to climax and make her happy. She was really finger fucking me now - and I felt an inevitable orgasm building. “Oh My God!” I exploded on Sister Margaret’s finger and I writhed with waves of pleasure like I’d never had before. It was the most intense orgasm of my young life and I was still a virgin. I was panting and sweating and crying all at the same time. She pulled her finger from my cunt and turned me over. She held me like a child - and then she put her fingers in my mouth with all my wetness on them. She says “Taste your lustful sin! Clean my fingers and cleanse your dirty whore soul in front of me and God!” I sucked on her fingers and tasted my sweet and tart taste. She smiled and said “Now that’s my good lass Maven. You are now purified under God. You are forgiven.” She gave me a hug and patted my pussy which gave me little convulsions of pleasure. I didn’t want to leave her arms. She wasn’t even pretty but I didn’t care. She did something to me that made me want to please her. She stood me up and told me to put my panties on. I was in a daze, and did as I was told. I stood there in my wet sweaty white panties. My mouth tasting of my pussy. “Now go enjoy recess - and I’ll be watching you. If I see or think that you are being lustful, you will come back here and be cleansed whenever I think it’s necessary - do you understand?” “Yes Sister” “And this is private. This is only between you and God - and I am his intermediary - Do you understand?” “Yes Sister” She took my face in her hands and kissed my forehead and said “You were always my favorite lass. I will make sure you continue to be a very good girl!” And then she steered me out of her office.

I still can’t believe this happened to me, But this was the beginning of a four year education for me.

[lxmelle]

Love is the greatest curse of all… Damned if you love and Damned if you don’t.

What does it mean to be Human? It’s an extremely valid question posed by Yuta. Megumi didn’t think they were heroes and felt he had no option but to make personal choices. Yuji wanted his life and death to have some significance and save people. Todo says they have to keep going regardless of tragedy. Sukuna says it’s best to be unattached to all things as they’re all worthless. Gojo had a dream that was largely affected by Geto - about never leaving anyone alone for the new generation.

Is being human, to know love? Regardless of their strength? Kusakabe thinking of Yaga who helped the sister he loved, in her grief over her beloved son. Larue and Miguel with their love for Geto. The kids and their friendships with one another. Gojo, Yuta - knowing the taste of loneliness. Geto, knowing the taste of grief. The underside of love.

Back to stsg for a moment because that’s my unhealthy obsession brainrot

If Geto loved Gojo enough to tell him, he would’ve led him down a bloody path. If Geto loved him enough to leave him, it’d have led him down a lonely path.

If Gojo loved Geto enough to join him, it would’ve led them both down a morally-/societally-disapproving path. If Gojo loved Geto enough to let him go, it would’ve allowed him to go down a lonely path.

Yuta knew the pain of pure innocent love and how it bound Rika to his soul. But in doing so, he granted her the best happiness she ever experienced in her entire existence. Was it because she had meaning? Her overwhelming love for Yuta meant she could kill and hurt others for the sake of love? What a cursed existence even as a spirit. It hurt Yuta.

He loved her enough to desire not to let her go, but this cursed them both. In loving his newfound friends enough, he sacrificed himself and was lucky to survive it and freed the cursed Rika. But this then led him to bear the curse of loving others … in the endless cycle of “you’re Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t”.

Because Yuta loves and empathises, he sees Gojo. Humanity. Compassion. To be able to connect to those above and beneath his feet, in contrast to Hajime and Sukuna who both pursued strength alone. He understood the weight and enormity of love and the sacrifice that comes with it. He saw the impact of being a monster and the only one who was chained to his role despite being able to supposedly do everything, but actually felt like he could do nothing.

Not the things that Gojo really wanted anyway (ugh. The tragedy of his life T_T). He couldn’t spare Geto. Geto didn’t want to be spared and left him to handle it all at Jujutau High while he tried to single-handedly take on Gojo’s role and change the world.

Gojo was left behind. I think his view of their separation morphed over time too. He wanted to change the sorcerer world too, in a different way that wasn’t as drastic.

Maybe at first he wondered if Geto felt left behind in the face of his unparalleled strength, (the strongest, alone), telling Megumi that he should be strong, keep up and not get left behind. After all, he and Geto had that “talk” breakup and he decided to become a teacher to try and save those who wanted to be saved.

As Megumi grew, he had more students, and Yuta came along, it was about the protection of their youth. Just like he had his blue spring that was so precious to him. It was also what Geto gave him and the reason he had to stop and kill Geto, because he encroached on the principles he tried to uphold himself - not to kill young sorcerers. Geto couldn’t completely abandon all of his humanity and kill Yuta and Gojo spared him the continuous suffering and ended his life.

Then, not leaving anyone behind to be lonely. He would see to it that the next generation wouldn’t suffer like he and Geto and Nanami did.

And finally, he wished to catch up to Geto, after being left behind when Geto chose to become a monster himself.

In Buddhism, detachment is sometimes seen as the penultimate “enlightenment”. But it’s ironic because the more one aspires to become enlightened, the more selfish they inherently become. Because, we do not live in isolation. What is the worth of enlightenment?

Gojo’s enlightenment was costly. He was alone as a tool.

Sukuna’s is disastrous. He embodies a twisted form of enlightenment where he sees responding to love as compassionate through killing his opponents.

Yuta’s is now... tragic.

Megumi had tried to choose who to be compassionate towards. He admired those like Tsumiki who were kind, and like Yuji. Kind - as was Geto. And Yuta. Too kind that they would be willing to sell/soil themselves for the sake of who they loved.

Yuji’s compassion as a vessel was also wholly self-sacrificial.

How does one really retain any form of love or compassion in a world like jjk? When loving anything or anyone seems to cost them dearly? Is that the price of humanity? To love is to hurt?

It’s also interesting how Geto, from human origin, focuses on eliminating humans as the source of cursed spirits... and Gojo, from elite sorcerer origin, focuses on eliminating the higher-ups who were the source of twisted rules within the society.

Anyway. Just rambling a little... I’m still trying to process it all. Jjk is some kind of crazy masterpiece.

[fortisfilia]

Promised Part 3 - Tom Riddle x reader

Info: This is a rewrite of a story I've posted on my old account years ago. If it sounds familiar, that might be why :)

Summary: In this story, Tom didn't grow up as an orphan, but with his grandfather and uncle. Reader's sister got very sick and the Gaunts offer their help. But not without asking for something in return.

Warnings: Arranged marriage

Word count: 2.5k

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 2 | Part 4

Part 3 - Parallels and Potions

It was dark in the corridor you found yourself in. So dark, you could hardly see anything but the low light on its end. The light was subtle, yet it pulled you towards it. As you started walking, you noticed you were holding something in your hands. It was oddly shaped, but not too heavy and you couldn’t see enough to detect what it was. So you kept on walking towards the light and although it seemed so close, it felt like you had walked for hours on the spot. 

Finally, you reached the exit and entered a small room. It was bright all of a sudden and made you squint your eyes. Dozens of chairs were lined up left and right from you, with a path in their midst. The seats were all empty, except for two. Your parents sat in the first row, staring straight ahead, not looking back at you. Another person was standing at the end of the path. Tom. He wore a black suit and tie, his hands intertwined on his back as he watched you walk towards him.

Now that you could finally see, you looked down and were able to recognise what you were wearing. A floor-length, white dress. A wedding dress to be precise, classy and modest, with lace fabric that wrapped around your arms. The thing you had brought with you was a bouquet of flowers. Red roses, each one flawless and beautiful.

Tom smiled as you were slowly approaching him. He turned around and looked at his grandfather, who stood at the podium. The light went out and it was dark again. Someone screamed. Elsie. Her voice echoed in your ears as you turned to find her, stumbling around blindly. You knocked over a chair when the lights went back on and her voice fell silent. She was nowhere to be seen. 

Only then you looked around and noticed how Tom’s smile had turned into a vile grin. Both your parents were lying on the floor, unmoving. You tried to run to them, but your feet stayed pinned to the ground. The floor was drenched in red. Blood. Everywhere. It was soaking up on the fabric of your dress when Tom threw something your way and it landed in the puddle before you, more splatters of red hitting the white fabric. It was a penknife, dangerously sharp and flipped open. 

Hissing noises came from the bouquet in your hands. The roses had turned into snakes. You shrieked and tried to throw it to the ground, but your hand didn’t let go of it, no matter how hard you tried. Marvolo’s scornful laughter got louder and louder until you couldn’t hear anything else and you fell to your knees screaming.

You sat up in your bed, your forehead covered in sweat. A nightmare. Just a dream.

The poor sleep had drained you. Sipping on your second cup of tea, you slouched in the great hall during breakfast, when headmaster Dippet placed himself in front of the teacher’s table.

“Good morning students,” the Professor spoke. “Just a brief announcement for your information. I’m aware some of you have already eagerly waited for the reveal of this year’s head girl and boy. Well, it’s my pleasure to tell you now.”

People had stopped talking and the great hall turned quiet. Dippet looked through the rows of students with a big smile on his face. He was probably more excited than anyone else in the room. Head boy and girl. Wow. You hadn’t even thought about that yet. Naturally, your mind had been somewhere entirely different. 

It would be someone from your year, though. Those were the school rules. The headmaster chooses two students from year seven. And, although most students didn’t care that much about the title, everyone knew that head girls and boys had an easier start into the world of employment after Hogwarts. It was a boost. An unspoken recommendation.

Dippet had always chosen students with top grades and little to no detention records. Mostly prefects, but not exclusively. For just a second you wondered if he had thought about you while making his decision. You had good grades. Nonsense, you had great grades. You never got in trouble, you were respectful, reliable, punctual and maybe a tiny bit full of yourself in just this moment. 

What were you thinking? You didn’t have the nerves or the time for being head girl. But it would feel so good to be valued this way.

Dippet cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him. 

“This year’s head boy, fellow witches and wizards, is,” he announced blissfully. “Tom Riddle.”

A murmur went round the hall when Tom arose from the table until Professor Slughorn, head of Slytherin, applauded for his student and the crowd joined in. Tom went up to the teacher’s table, where Dippet congratulated him.

It was quite clear why Tom was granted this title. He was Dippet’s showpiece. Always had been. Top of the class in most subjects, quiet yet observative, intelligent, the list went on.

“And now to our head girl,” Dippet said. 

No, this couldn’t be. It would feel like some sort of mockery if he would say your name. First the engagement and now this? No, no. Or maybe? You would make a great head girl, now that you thought about it. 

“This year’s head girl is,” Dippet went on.

Tom looked at you. Maybe he knew. Could it be? 

“Freda Morris.”

Oh. Your heart sank more than you liked to admit. Tom’s gaze went right to Freda when the crowd applauded for her. She stood up from the Slytherin table and clumsily walked to the front as well. Freda… What a swot.

“Congratulations you two,” Dippet said and shook both of their hands again. “I’m sure you’ll make a great team.”

Yes, great. Brilliant. Freda and Tom shook hands as well and the sweet aftertaste of breakfast tea turned sour on your tongue.

“Two Slytherins as head boy and girl. Now that’ll be fun,” Camille said when you walked to your Potions class together. “Totally fair Professor Dippet, as always. Thanks for acknowledging the other houses.”

You smiled. “I know, right? And Freda Morris? What was he thinking?”

“Well, I don’t know. But she seems quite okay, doesn’t she?”

“You think so? She’s such a muppet.”

“Oh,” Camille laughed. “I had no idea you wanted to be head girl. You never told me.”

“What? No, I…”

“Come on,” she grinned.

“Yeah, maybe. I hadn’t even thought about it until today. And then I thought, well, I could see myself as head girl. Then Tom got picked...”

“And you thought it was destiny,” she gushed.

“Something like that,” you said before nudging her shoulder.

You entered the Potions classroom and went to the table Camille and you always shared. When you turned around to check where she was though, you saw that she had been stopped by the door, where Tom was talking to her. Camille nodded to him, then shot you an excited look. She winked at you with a smile and went to another table while Tom walked over and sat down beside you. Oh, Merlin.

“Um, hello,” you said, wondering what he had in mind. 

All it took was Tom raising his brow to make absolutely sure he didn’t like you one bit. He even seemed appalled that you had the nerve to talk to him. Why on earth would he sit next to you then? Alright, no small talk. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

Professor Slughorn entered the classroom and started his lesson by congratulating Freda and Tom once more. Your eyes, too, rolled once more. He then instructed everyone to brew Moonseed Poison, just like he had taught you in last week's lesson.

“And as always, help each other out,” he said and sat down at his desk.

Fantastic. You opened up your book and skimmed the recipe again. This shouldn’t be too hard. You took a gurdyroot and started cutting it into small cubes, making sure not to breathe in right above it, as the fumes would burn your nose.

Whispers and chatter filled the room as the class began to prepare the potion. Camille sat with Clara McKinnon, glancing over her shoulder at you and wiggling her eyebrows as she looked back and forth between Tom and you. In response, you only shook your head and she grinned even wider before Clara turned to her so she could show her something in the textbook.

When you went to the next step and picked on some knotgrass, Tom cleared his throat. You resisted looking over to him and kept on picking carefully. He cleared his throat again. And again.

You turned your head. “Are you trying to talk, or are you choking?”

“I…,” his eyes went wide. “Excuse me?”

“First you sit with me, then you’re looking at me like I’ve gone mad when I greet you. So I can only assume you don’t want to talk to me, do you?”

He sighed and started picking knotgrass as well. “I did… want to talk to you.”

“About what?” you asked as you rolled the grass to shape it.

“I wanted to apologize on behalf of Lestrange and Avery.”

“Oh.”

The two shared a table at the other end of the room. Avery's sight collided with yours as you peered over at them, but immediately turned his back when he noticed. Both of them seemed lost in their task. They had always been among the less gifted when it came to Potions, mulling over the ingredients and Lestrange was most obviously reading the same sentence in the recipe for the umpteenth time while Avery half-heartedly began chopping up various items.

“They won’t trouble you again,” Tom said. “And, if it makes you feel better, they’ve learned their lesson.”

“What do you mean by that?” you asked as you leant forward to put ten drops of leech juice into your potion.

“I punished them.”

You almost dropped the flask. “Punished?” 

“Nothing too bad. Although I think you wouldn’t mind, would you?”

“That depends. What did you do?”

“I’d rather not speak of it,” he shrugged as something in his face lit up when he added the leech juice to his cauldron. “I’ll have to set a good example as head boy from now on. Let’s just say, they were excluded from our group for a little while. Separation is the greatest punishment for the spineless.”

He really was a ruthless leader. And they weren’t his friends. They were his inferiors.

“Okay,” you answered, although it sounded more like a question. “You didn’t do that for me specifically, I assume?”

Tom crushed a toadstool and smiled. “I did it for myself. And you. If they disrespect you, they disrespect me. And I can’t let that happen.”

“I see,” you said. “Oh, don’t add the toadstool yet.”

“Why not?”

“It’s better to let the leech juice simmer for a little longer.”

“It makes no difference.”

“It does make a difference. And you need to crumble it some more. It has to be really fine.”

“I know what I’m doing. I’m good at Potions.” Tom dropped the toadstool into his cauldron without batting an eye, before he looked at you as if he was waiting for you to snap back again—a challenge.

“Yeah, I know. But I’m great at Potions,” you said and watched Tom’s grin dropping with delight.

“I let Slughorn be the judge of that,” he said and you laughed.

Tom stirred his potion while you continued to crush the toadstool in your mortar. “Congratulations on becoming head boy, by the way.”

“Thanks.”

Short answers, as always. But he finally talked at least. This had to be used well, so you asked, “Were you expecting it?”

“Not quite,” Tom said. “I’ve been thinking about it last year and was sure I’d make it to Dippet’s top three. But then I didn’t think about it much until today.”

Freda probably thought about it all summer long. Maybe she even prepared for it. You watched from the corner of your eye how carefully she worked on her potion. The steam coming from her concoction was a cerulean colour already, she was a few steps ahead. Perhaps Dippet had made a good decision by making her head girl. But still… She was too eager for the position and was bound to go mad with power.

“Two Slytherins as head boy and girl,” you mumbled. “Like last year. Camille thinks Dippet’s playing favourites.”

Tom smirked, “How can he not, when the best students always get sorted to the same house?”

The toadstool was as fine as sand already but you pestled it even harder now. 

“Although I have to admit,” he went on. “Freda Morris was not on my list of potential school representatives.” His eyes met yours and something shifted in his gaze as he watched you. Either your expression gave you away, or he could actually read minds.

“At last, we agree on something,” you said, putting the toadstool dust into your cauldron. Perhaps disliking other people was what you two had in common. “Don’t touch the moonseed. It’ll burn your skin.”

“I know,” Tom sighed. “I’m not daft.”

Smiling to yourself, you levitated the poisonous plant before a sharp scream travelled through the classroom. Avery had touched the moonseed with bare hands, of course.

“There was something else I wanted to tell you,” Tom said. “My uncle sent an owl. Your sister. She’s better.”

“She is?“ You put your wand down to look at him properly. “What exactly did he say?”

“Still not cured he said, but she’s gaining weight again and has an appetite.”

“That’s great news,” you said and had to keep your voice low, so you wouldn’t yell just from how glad you were. “Merlin, I’m so relieved to hear this. Thanks for letting me know.”

Tom stirred his potion and nodded. “It’s ready. Professor!”

Slughorn walked up to your desk and examined both of your works. “Oh, would you look at that,” he cheered. “Tom, yours is excellent.”

It was evident just how proud Riddle was, especially after being lectured by you all lesson long.

“But yours Miss,” Slughorn turned towards you. “Yours is perfect. Outstanding that one! Very well done.”

Smiling felt like mockery now, so you schooled your features, not ready to dare look at his reaction - he wasn’t one to mess with. When you finally took a glimpse, he stared blankly down at the table, a ghost of a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

“Don’t say it,” he mumbled. “I get it, you’re great at Potions.”

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 4

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine your brother Jeonghan trying to set you and Scoups up but you refuse claiming Scoups is too goody-goody, which drives the leader of Seventeen crazy

It took 2 weeks after you moved to the same city as your brother for him to start trying to set you up with his friends. To be fair Jeonghan had been saying you'd really get along with Scoups for a while now but you'd managed to dodge any awkward dates or outings...until now. Your brother had invited you over to his place for dinner. He'd told you none of the guys would be there but when you showed up guess who happened to be joining you? 

The leader of Seventeen was a lovely guy and you didn't mind his company. It was your brother's prying that put you off the whole thing. You had a habit of doing the opposite of whatever someone wanted you to do and blamed your rebellious brother for teaching it to you. Usually it only annoyed other people but tonight Jeonghan got to experience it first hand. After dinner, Scoups left the table to go to rehearsal leaving you and Jeonghan alone. You'd had a nice meal and the conversation had been good. You and Scoups had joked around all night and found a lot of common ground, so your brother assumed you were in love. "So..." Jeonghan said after Scoups left the room and you smiled back pretending to be oblivious "so...". "Don't you agree Scoups is so great?" he asked. You smiled "yeah he's really nice and funny, I'm sure it drives some girls crazy". Jeonghan knew from the way you said some, you weren't talking about yourself and he couldn't believe it. "Don't tell me you're not including yourself? The two of you were so hitting it off!". You laughed "we were chatting Jeonghan that's all". "You weren't chatting you were connecting and I know it! I could see you liked talking to him so why are you denying it?". You shook your head "I'm not denying anything. Sure he's nice and handsome and cool but he's not my type". "Cool, handsome and nice aren't your thing?" Jeonghan asked. You shook your head "honestly it's the leader thing. It's a huge turn off and that's why I can't find him attractive".  

Jeonghan's jaw dropped "you're serious?" he asked you nodded "yes! You know I don't like rules and he's the leader! He's automatically more responsible and abiding". Jeonghan frowned "kinda but also not. He actually challenges our company and managers all the time. He's a good guy". "I don't doubt it but I don't want a boyfriend whose favourite roleplay is teacher and student". Jeonghan went to argue "but if you just gave him a chance...". "I said no Jeonghan" you said standing up "sometimes you're just not as smart as you think you are" and walked out of the room.

Insulting your brother's intelligence was the best way to drive him crazy and so when Scoups got home many hours later he found Jeonghan up waiting for him. "Jeonghan? What are you doing up?" Scoups asked and he sighed "my sister is driving me insane". Scoups laughed and came to sit beside him. Jeonghan had prepped Scoups beforehand and told him of his plan to set the two of you up. Scoups wasn't keen on dating a member's sister but thought you were pretty and funny so he agreed to give it a shot. When Jeonghan explained your feedback he was shocked and a little hurt. "So what does she like bad boys?" Scoups asked. Jeonghan shrugged "I guess? She's just never been one for conventional authority or tradition so it makes sense". Scoups frowned "but I'm not exactly a good boy" and Jeonghan laughed "I think she just sees you as our leader and not as you. Don't take offence". "Ow no I'm taking offence and making it my mission to prove her wrong". The more Scoups thought about your view of him the more it bothered him. He'd never ever been told he was too goody-goody. Sure he was a respectful citizen but all his life he'd been known for standing up to people and demanding what was right. So to hear you had this completely backwards idea of him made him want to show you the true him. That and the fact he was pretty strongly attracted to you and loved proving people wrong. Scoups had liked you since he first saw you and would've asked you out if hadn't been around so fleetingly. But now you were here, in all your glory, challenging him it seemed like the perfect opportunity. He figured the least goody-goody thing to do would be to confront you. So when you arrived at the house the next morning to go out with Jeonghan he walked up to you and asked you "do you really think I'm a pushover?". You looked up from your phone and shook your head "not a pushover per se but someone who follows the rules? Yep". Scoups laughed "y/n that's the furthest thing from me. I'm always saying stuff I shouldn't and standing up for the members...I even got us banned from isac for picking a fight with the referee!". You nodded "really?" not looking impressed and Scoups nodded "yes...why don't you believe me?". "Because you have such an innocent face there's no hiding it Scoups" you smiled "you're a good boy and that's fine. Geat even, so many people would love that so own it". Scoups pouted "but I'm not and I'll prove it to you!". "How?” you asked and Scoups paused "I'm not sure how but I will". In response you just raised your eyebrow and went back to your phone. You were so infuriating and that was kind of attractive to Scoups which was driving him crazy, so he started forming a plan. You lived close by so were at the house a lot which Scoups was banking on. He walked into the living room to see you sat there and made a show of sitting down on the sofa and taking his coat off. "I thought you had rehearsal?" you asked and Scoups nodded "I do". "Then what are you doing here?" you asked. He smiled "the benefit of being the leader is I get certain perks. If I want to skip a session I can. I just assign another member to do my work. Being on the top means you get to call the shots". "Is that so?" you asked and Scoups nodded "yep". "And you do this often? Making the other members pick up your slack?". "Whenever I want to" Scoups shrugged and you nodded "so what happened to always standing up for your members to management? Aren't you just as bad as them if you're doing this to your members?". Scoups paused unsure how to answer your question and still remain a bad-boy. "Well I'm not really palming my work off on them more...not doing it". You nodded "funny how the story keeps changing" and Scoups blushed. "Look my point is I do what I want when I want. I tell the management when something isn't right. I take a day off work when I want it. I have all the power. If I don't want them to find me then they don't" putting his feet up on the sofa for a bit of added effect. Then as if by magic his phone rang in his coat pocket. You both paused but neither of you moved. "You gonna get that?" you asked. Scoups always answered his phone and tensed as it kept ringing. He wanted to get it, but you were watching him so he shook his head "nope" and you smiled seeing him struggle. "Don't you wanna know who it is?" you asked, and he shook his head again. Your smile grew and you reached into his coat pocket to fish it out. "It says manager...sure you don't wanna get it?" you asked waving it in front of him. Scoups twitched and then sighed "I really should we're changing Dino's schedule and I need to know so I can tell him" taking the phone. You smirked and walked out of the room. "I am in control though" he called after you but you were long gone. The next time Scoups tried to show he was physically capable. Jeonghan told him you used the gym around the corner and although the company had a gym Scoups decided to go there too. He walked inside to see you doing some weights and smiled. He purposefully chose a machine near you and was going to pretend to have been here a while when you suddenly finished. He rushed to get on the machine as you came closer and started pulling the metal bars. "19...20" he said pretending to count as you appeared in front of him "hey y/n". He sighed like he'd just done a really difficult set and wiped his forehead "you working out too?". You nodded "yeah I am, I didn't know you worked out here". Scoups nodded "yeah all the time". "Why don't you use the company gym? Jeonghan said it's free". Scoups smiled "you think the money worries me? Money hasn't bothered me for years y/n". You raised an eyebrow and Scoups realised that sounded snobbish so hurried on "plus the gym at the company isn't very good". "It's not?" you asked and Scoups shook his head "see because we're all idols they don't want us to get injured or to get too big in case it doesn't fit our image". You nodded "right...so why are you only lifting 2kg?". Scoups went to laugh at your joke when he looked down and saw his machine, which he had been pretending to do many reps on, was set at the lowest weight. "Oh that I...well funny story it sometimes accidentally changes your weight". You nodded "wow how strange" and walked away. Scoups hung his head in his hands. When it was clear his attempts weren't working Scoups decided to call in some help aka the maknaes who still thought he was kind of scary. You were going out to dinner with Jeonghan one day and just as you were leaving Dino and Seungkwan asked if they could come. Jeonghan looked to you and you nodded "of course!". Jeonghan smirked "they're only coming because they know I'll pay for them" but there was actually another reason. Once you'd ordered your food Dino turned to you "y/n did you really say Scoups is a goody-goody?". "Yeah did you actually?" Seungkwan asked and you smiled "who told you him or Jeonghan?". "I heard it from Vernon" Seungkwan said rather quickly and Dino nodded "yep me too". You didn't believe either of them and smelled something fishy but smiled. "Yes I said that and I stand by it". "Seriously?" Dino asked laughing "he's our toughest member and not even just physically he's so brave and outspoken". He can be really scary too" Seungkwan said. You smiled "Scoups? Scary?". "Ow yeah Scoups is terrifying" Seungkwan said. You nodded "and what makes him so scary those cute cheeks and long eyelashes?". "His personality" Dino said "and he's very strong". Seungkwan nodded "and he just has this aura about him. When his tone lowers you get scared automatically". "Yeah one day I walked into the dorms to find him attacking Mingyu" Dino said "I was so scared I avoided him for like a month after". The guys all laughed and Jeonghan smiled "it's all true y/n". You nodded "I don't doubt it but when was this?". Dino paused "erm that doesn't matter". "No I want to know when it was" you said smiling sweetly and Dino sighed "when we were trainees but just because he doesn't do it anymore doesn't mean he's not scary!". "Yeah we're better behaved now!" Seungkwan agreed. You smiled "so when was the last time you avoided him for a month?". Dino looked down "since that day...never". You smiled satisfied "oh look our food is here" and the boys knew they'd lost. When the guys returned home Scoups was waiting. The minute they walked through the door he jumped up "so how did it go?". They all looked down and Scoups' smile faded "not well huh?". "She just...didn't really care" Dino said and the others nodded "yeah she knew the stories we were telling were from ages ago and she just shut us down straight away" Seungkwan explained. Scoups sighed "no problem thanks for trying". "We can try again if you want?" Dino asked but Scoups shook his head "no it's fine..." and walked away. Jeonghan followed Scoups and sighed "I have to get back to the company building but I don't want you to be upset". "I'm fine" Scoups said but Jeonghan could tell he wasn't. "You know this probably isn't even anything to do with you...when y/n gets an idea in her head it can't be shaken and that's just how she is". Scoups nodded "yeah I get it don't worry it's fine". Jeonghan sighed but stood up "okay well you can call me if you need me, yeah?". Scoups nodded and waved as he left. The door closed and Scoups sighed. He didn't know why you were so against him but he was done trying to convince you otherwise. He thought the two of you would've gotten along well but it clearly just wasn't meant to be. The doorbell went and Scoups figured Jeonghan must've forgotten his key or something. He opened up the door to find you stood there of all people. He blinked when he saw you and even you seemed surprised he was the one who opened the door. "Hey, Jeonghan forgot his wallet. He asked me to put it in my bag for safekeeping and forgot to take it back". Scoups nodded taking it "thanks for bringing it back". "No problem" you said and looked down "so...goodnight" and went to walk away. "Wait y/n...I have something to say to you" Scoups said. You paused and turned back around "okay". Scoups' heart was hammering in his chest but he took a deep breath and began to speak. "Look I'm not covered in tattoos and piercings. I don't drive a motorcycle and I've never gotten in trouble with the law but that doesn't make me soft. I'd fight anyone for my members because they're my family and I'd do anything for the people I love. I'm strong physically, mentally and sometimes there's more to be said for the man who sticks around and supports people than the ones raising hell and setting fire to things but if that's not your thing then that's totally fine. I just wanted to say that to you". You nodded "are you done?". Scoups nodded swallowing and you sighed before smiling. Scoups frowned and you began laughed. You let him sweat for a few seconds before coming clean. "Scoups I never thought you were soft and I'm not into bad boys". "You're not? But Jeonghan said...". You chuckled "my big brother is great but he's never met a single one of my boyfriends in person before. He has no idea what my type is and yes it's true I don't like followers but as a leader I'd say you're the opposite of that, right?". Scoups heart was beating rapidly and as you said those words he felt the blood rush to his cheeks. "Right" he nodded and you smiled "i like guys who know what they want and go for it. Ones who stand up for what is right. Ones who speak their mind" you said "I was waiting for this the whole time". Scoups laughed "so for once all I had to do was open my big mouth?". You nodded "yep but you did it now". Scoups nodded and spurred on by how you were looking at him he smiled "and what's my prize for that?". You smirked "well I have some ideas but is there anything you want?" you asked flicking your hair back. "You" Scoups admitted and he kissed you. Scoups pulled you into the house and closed the door behind you. He melted into the kiss and was encouraged by how eagerly you kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around you pulling you even closer and he backed you up against a wall. Just as Scoups was beginning to think you weren't as confident as you claimed, you bit his lip which made Scoups gasp and pull back. You laughed at the look on his face and smiled "you're so cute". Scoups shook his head and in one smooth motion picked you up "I'm a lot of things but cute isn't one...allow me to show you". You just smiled "can't wait" and he carried you upstairs. The next morning When Scoups stumbled into the kitchen the next morning looking dazed it didn't take the members long to realise what had happened. "Y/n?" Joshua asked and Scoups smiled widely making them all laugh. "So is she everything you ever dreamt of?" The8 asked and Scoups laughed "she's amazing. I've never met a more confident person. She knows what she wants and knows she can get it which I find so attractive. She challenged me more than anyone I've ever been with and it's a constant power change". The members laughed at Scoups's very happy but tired face. "To be fair hyung this might be a power struggle you're happy to lose" Jun said and Scoups smirked "yeah you're probably right. I feel like already I'm weakening". The door opened suddenly and Jeonghan walked into the room. Everyone went silent and not so subtly looked to Scoups. Jeonghan took in his messy hair and expression, and sighed "you slept with y/n didn't you?". Scoups eyes widened "what! How did you guess that?". "Because that's the face you always have the morning after and judging by how happy you look it must've been my sister". Scoups nodded "okay yeah you're right but it was totally safe and consensual". Jeonghan nodded "I know". "So you're not mad?" Scoups asked. Jeonghan shook his head "I learned ages ago I can't control my sister. Also you remember I was trying to set you both up, right? I wish it had been a little more old-fashioned but this works too". Scoups nodded "just to warn you we haven't labelled anything". Jeonghan smiled "I know but if y/n let this happen she must like you and you're clearly enamoured with her so I'm not worried about that" Jeonghan smirked making the other members laugh. "Seriously what is your bloodline made of?" Mingyu asked and Jeonghan just grinned. Scoups came back upstairs to find you towel drying your wet hair after a shower. You were wearing one of his t-shirts that you must've found and he paused in the doorway admiring you. He didn't think you'd seen him when you suddenly spoke "I borrowed one of your t-shirts". Scoups nodded coming inside "I saw...it suits you". "I was hoping you'd say that because I like it" you said shooting him a smile. "I could be convinced to let you keep it" Scoups said and you turned around fully. You shot the wet towel at a clothes basket nearby and it went in effortlessly. "I'm pretty sure if I just bat my eyelashes at you and asked nicely you'd agree" you said walking closer. You put your arms around his neck and smiled "don't you think?". Scoups stared back at you and with effort didn't back down "hmm I might need a little more than that". You smiled "you're already getting better, I like that" and kissed him. Every time he kissed you all his thoughts went out of his head and all he wanted was you. This effect seemed to get stronger with each kiss and he once again got caught up in you when he remembered his conversation with Jeonghan this morning. You'd already progressed back to the bed but Scoups pulled back. "Wait before we...go any further I need to know, what is this? Is it something casual and open or more regular and exclusive? Just I will have to tell Jeonghan and it helps to know what I'm telling him". You nodded and got off Scoups, moving to sit down on his bed. "Well which one would you prefer?". Scoups shook his head "I'm fine with whatever you want". "So you have no opinion yourself?". Scoups came to sit beside you and recalled you liked people speaking their minds "well of course i'd prefer to be exclusive and have you all to myself. But if that's not possible then I'll happily agree to a casual thing. I want whatever makes you comfortable". You smiled "I don't give my time to just anyone". "So I've heard" Scoups smiled "and I think you like me". You nodded "I do, enough to give the exclusive thing a shot if you're game". "Of course" Scoups smiled feeling like he'd won the lottery "now where were we?". You smiled "I believe you were here” you said pushing him back down onto his back and Scoups smiled “so I was” and kissed you again. 

[blackacre13]

can you please continue the teacher/student au?

Part 39 is here: Part FORTY below!

“Well,” a deep voice laughed on the line. “It’s not a date night so this isn’t about the best spot for a whiskey and you refuse to take my advice on women so what do I owe the pleasure?”

Lou raised an eyebrow, but she was grinning. The brunette swatted her, but Lou had already caught sight of her blushing cheeks.

“Danny,” she hissed, through gritted teeth. “I need your help.”

“So you’ve called the superior Ocean. I’m afraid I’ll need to hear you—“

“Cut the shit,” Debbie sighed, looking at Lou with eyes full of worry. “I need your help. I need my big brother.”

“I can be at your place in twenty.”

“I fucked up,” Debbie whispered, falling against the blonde as Lou cradled her, combing through her hair. “He can ruin my life, but I won’t let him ruin hers.”

Siblings were fascinating to Lou. Especially when you could observe them at once. And entertaining, when you only knew one of them and had to take that one’s word when they described the one who you didn’t know.

The only things that Lou knew about Danny Ocean included the fact that he was attached to the hip to someone she thought Debbie had called Rusty? But that couldn’t be correct for a grown ass man. She also knew that Debbie’s initial date with her, that allegedly hadn’t truly been a date at all, but a TA welcome dinner, and the drink recommendation had also come from the older sibling. And now as Debbie opened the front door to let him in, the older Ocean immediately scooping her into a bear hug, him shooting a wink over his sister’s head at Lou, she could see his hair and eyes matched Debbie’s.

She expected Debbie to push him off with an eye-roll and a mention of getting back to business, but she clung to her brother, savoring the embrace for a long time until he spoke over her head.

“She’s not usually much of a higher,” he smirked, but he kissed her forehead before he let her go, just in time for Debbie to smack his shoulder and call him an oaf. “So this is the famous Ms. Miller. Sorry Debs has you under her spell, kid.”

Lou wasn’t sure how to respond, but Debbie was closing the door and rushing to her side immediately as if she had to defend the blonde’s honor, her hand sliding into Lou’s.

“You can cut the big brother teasing shit. This is bad,” Debbie sighed. “And whatever cradle robbing, does she call you professor in bed shit you’re planning on spewing, you can just skip. I meant it. This is big. And Lou—Lou is—“

“I know, Strawdebby,” Danny smiled, ruffling her hair before he took a seat in Debbie’s arm chair, carefully moving the stack of graded papers that currently sat there in a heap and placing them on the coffee table.

Lou tucked the nickname away for later.

“And it really is a pleasure to meet you, Lou. Sorry you got dragged into all this Becker shit when you should be partying and having fun every night. Best years of your life, right?” Danny grinned.

Debbie was pulling Lou towards the couch, sorry evident on her face.

“You think Dr. Ocean lets her TA have fun every night?” Lou grinned. She immediately regretted calling her Dr. Ocean. It was just habit when it came to separating their professional and personal relationship. But Debbie had already hinted at the name/power dynamic jokes and she didn’t want Debbie to think she was giving Danny permission to crack jokes at either of their expenses.

Regardless, he didn’t take the bait. He knew the stakes were too high.

“Tell everything,” he said instead, his face sincere. Lou and Debbie went over their history over the past few months. From Lou’s first class to her interview to her welcome dinner and beyond. Thankfully, leaving out any details that a big brother would find unsavory and would absolutely make Lou turn purple.

Debbie was practically shaking by the time they were done, and wordlessly, Lou swept her closer, letting her rest her head on Lou’s shoulder as Lou traced circles with her finger on the brunette’s slacks.

“You love her,” Danny spoke softly. It wasn’t a tease. In fact, it looked like awe and pride.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Debbie rolled her eyes. But her guard was down. Especially with Lou cradling her for support.

“Hold onto this one, Deb,” Danny smiled, his eyes traveling over to Lou. She supposed he wasn’t used to seeing Debbie this vulnerable or soft. “She’s good for you.”

“That’s the plan, Danny,” she sighed. “That’s why I need you. All the Claude bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about tenure or career or my courseload—“

“Debs,” Lou protested softly, but she waved the thought away.

“This is about her. Protecting her future,” Debbie whispered. “I love her.”

“I love you,” Debbie spoke turning to the blonde. “I hope you know I do. But as much as I love you and I love us, nothing is worth jeopardizing your future.”

Lou wanted to say that Debbie was her future. Because she was. But she also knew that both of them wanted her to keep pursuing her dreams. She knew Debbie wanted the world for her.

“Don’t even get me started about this Becker prick,” Danny grumbled. “I knew he was trouble from the start.”

“Well, what’s done is done,” Debbie hissed. “I hate that he’s a part of my history and that there’s only so much I can control in the present. But I’ll be damned if he destroys Lou’s future.”

[rewordthis]

Out of all the Rights and Wrongs, this was the Wrongest!

Watching Nanami, the only sane and logical person in the whole fucking anime being so lost in a fantasy was honestly heartbreaking. Nanamin, you were so proper to the very last moment… I’m not proud of you. I deeply respect and feel sorry for you. Being a witness to a delusional Nanami, that had checked out from reality and was only fighting on autopilot felt like shit and the fact that his plans and hopes for the future were rolling out in plain sight really made me feel like I eavesdropped and intruded to his innermost desires. It genuinely left a very bad aftertaste in my mouth. Fuck you, Gege. You played with his mind in his final moments and in the end when he eventually came back to himself, Mahito was already a touch away. I know full well, that a concentrated Nanami would have felt Mahito’s cursed energy from a mile away in that photo booth… so yeah once more, FUCK YOU, Gege! 🤬

Also, Nanami calling Haibara, his only friend from highschool (cause Gojo is the senpai and boyfriend!) got me a little off guard. Like, I understand that this is why Yu died – because he was doing his best for what he was ‘fitted’ to do best – ; it makes sense that Nanami would want some guidance or insight or maybe even regret alleviation from someone that he considered on his level and that had gone through the same shit but this was so abrupt… I could even say that maybe he just needed some validation, that his whole life as a sorcerer was not in vein. That his sacrifice will not be in vein. That all those broken dreams were ok to be left just dreams. That his small despairs and little daily sacrifices — like not reading this book he bought last week — were all worthwhile, they were all meaningful for someone. Something.

And Yu wants him to not leave with this burden. This curse. Because it is a curse, a regret — despite what Nanami himself says, and you can see it in his expression when he looks back and forth between Yu and Yuuji and he’s genuinely scared, terrified even — that he’s got nothing to leave behind. He’s got no students like Gojo. No brothers or sisters. No protégées, even if Ino is trying to be one for him for a long time now. Even if Gojo appointed him to be Yuuji’s guardian and guide. He still believes Yuuji is not his student, because he’s not a proper teacher. He doesn’t want that responsibility, too. But Yuuji is also very dear to Nanami. Gojo gave him something he can’t just leave or overlook. That boy, is his pupil as much as is Gojo’s and by Gojo’s request Nanami is to first and foremost teach him how to not let the loses become poison in his heart. Heavy duty, indeed… It makes me wonder if that was all that really plagued Nanami’s heart... Could it be that he desired something else to say, as well? A “thank you” maybe? Perhaps an “I’m sorry” even? I really don’t know. Yu was persistent, too. In the anime it seemed like he was showing at Nanami but the manga panels show him clearly showing Yuuji. So, “tell him”, is what he was meaning to say. Right? And Nanami really fought against his urge to tell Yuuji what he really wanted, as I strongly believe that he still didn’t 100% said exactly what he wanted to tell Yuuji. He just summed it up as best he could and probably (considering his character traits) also censored quite a bit of it. And then there’s simply the fact that Nanami just couldn’t keep refusing Haibara’s request because, let’s face it, Yu knew best to push him to let out his final thoughts so he wouldn’t carry his regrets on the other side and risk becoming a curse… Does that make sense to anyone else but me?

Also, why is this man getting touched so much?Why is everybody wanting a piece of him?! Can you please not touch Gojo’s property, you pesky creeps?!

Btw, Gege is on a 3/5 strike right now with 3 of his male victims getting stripped. Huh… Yuuji, Geto and Nanami were all half naked when they were killed. I wonder what Gege’s profile would be had we been on a Criminal Minds episode… He’d probably be characterised a rapist in Yuuji’s case since we had Sukuna ripping his heart out, which you know, includes penetrating essentially Yuuji’s body. Or how Mahito was ‘caressing’ Nanami’s body before he ‘touched’ his soul (bro, this joke after watching sankaku has gotten on another level for me… 😅). Could the part where he’s at least letting them keep their pants on, show remorse? But then again his very first victim Yu got his entire bottom ‘eaten’… 👀 Gege has escalated since then and I’m not being too far myself either… Ahem… Anyway. Sue me for being slightly derailed ig. 😬🫠

On a side note: I do not count Gojo because kid went down the river saw the crowd and literally said to Charon “See you later”…

And what do you think the proper continuation is after such a tragic end? My ancestors would say catharsis but Gege is just a shitty troll so of course it’s turn to comedy! >:P

The scene where Mahito screams at Yuuji for being loud right after killing Nanami, is so fast paced and down right ridiculous that I doubt there’s anyone left unaffected by the absurdity of it. I was thrown into a hysterical fit of laugher and from that point on it was just getting worse and worse.

It did made me sober up a bit when Mahito told Yuuji he’s him — and thought that maybe we’re going to be given some profound truth about humanity — but that honestly didn’t last long because then we had…

THIS SCENE:

Okay… Dude even closed his eyes! He really felt it!!! *screams* Bro! I need both Gege and MAPPA to step up their game for the shipping discourse. Who has a crush on who and who are they actually shipping with whom?! 🤣

Im team 57(reverse) and SkIt btw! (Now imagine a bottom Sukuna… that’d be fun~) LOL

Gege is a damn savage for doing that right over Nanami’s dead body… ngl. 😬

However, I have to admit that Yuuji coming to his senses so quickly after thinking that Nanami wouldn’t let himself be swayed by anger… was both incredibly nice and awful. Because think about it, Nanami’s last words gave Yuuji a purpose and a sense of duty to fulfil and that was partly a call — in Yuuji’s mind at least — to fill Nanami’s shoes and also to remember what he learned from him. All while Nanami himself, might have not lost himself in anger but he had lost himself in his emotional fatigue. His soul was so worn that living the sorcerer life must have felt more like an obligation to him than a conscious choice. I mean, look at how he questioned his decision to come back into this world... This is such a well-delivered irony. I hate Gege. And I hate the plot. And I’m mad that it’s so tightly and beautifully woven. Damn.

Also, the last scenes showing how Mahito did a split… SHIT. He’s the most uncanny villain after Sukuna and to be fair, even Sukuna is a lot more straightforward with his opponents than this trickster over here. 🫤

He is one trump card for the bad guys for sure.

After that reveal, the fact that he met with Nobara of all people and he realised that she’s probably important to Yuuji… Woaaah… 👀😰

This better be as imaginative as promising it looks! 😎

[honeyylin]

What about Me? - Chapter 1

If you are the artist behind this fanart of Maruki, please tell me and i'll be sure to credit you or take it down if you do not want your art to be used.

NOT PROOF READ*

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My eyes widened as I watched what was in front of me.

Suguru Kamoshida was on his knees confessing everything to the whole school.

All of his crimes. From abusing the volleyball team, being the cause of the disbandment of the track team, to sexualizing the girls. Even confessing to his advances toward me and the other younger teachers.

“Someone! Please, Call the police!” he yelled out.

The gym got louder after that, with teachers yelling at students to get back to class, and students loudly talking about how the rumors were all true.

I stood there as the teachers moved the students out the best they could, a few hanging behind. Staying behind as I watch the students interact. I recognized one of the girls, I remember seeing her with Ryuji during middle school. I frown as I hear one girl apologizing to her about the rumored relationship with Kamoshida. I walked up to the group, giving them a soft smile.

”Hey, let’s get going to class, yeah?” I said to the group of girls, they smiled at me and nodded before leaving. I looked at my brother and crossed my arms. 

“You’re probably relieved about this,” I said to him, a small smile on my face as he grinned up at me. “Aren’t you?” He replied back.

I slightly laughed and wrapped my arm around his shoulder, with him being just slightly taller than me. I raised my hand to ruffle his hair “Let’s talk about this later, yeah? You three should get to class” I tell him, playfully pushing him forward to start moving. I looked at the other two and they started walking with him.

”Who is that..?” I heard one of them say as they walked off.

I didn’t hear Ryuji’s response but the girl yelled “SISTER?!” before they left the gym. 

I got the rest of the students who were in the gym out and to their classes before heading back to the nurse’s office. 

As I entered the room, I saw a student in there waiting for assistians. I raised a brow as I looked around for the nurse. “Hi, do you need something?” I asked the student.

When I couldn’t find the nurse I turned towards the girl. “I just, I felt like after what happened in the gym, I needed to see you. I mean. You were one of his victims too right?” The student said. I frowned and walked up to her. “Hey, it’s okay. Calm down, you’re okay.” I gently rubbed her shoulders in comfort, bringing her over to the couch to sit. “Do you want to talk about it or..” 

The girl shook her head “I just, I need someone here with me.”

We stayed there for a few minutes. Just silence between the two of us.

This wasn’t the first time she came to me. She wasn’t the first student. Many students had come to me for comfort for anything. I had assumed it was because I was younger than some of the other teachers that students felt like they could come to me. It warmed my heart that I had that sort of effect.

Finally, the nurse came in, rubbing her stomach. She raised a brow when she saw the student. “You need to go to class ms.” The student looked up at her, eyes welling with tears as she nodded at her. “T-thank you sakamoto sensei.” I smiled and nodded at her, walking her out the door. 

I closed the door behind her, turning back towards the nurse. She gave me a look “You can’t have the students in here for fun.” She sternly said. I tilted my head and gave her a look. “She was crying Yaba san.” I replied.

She shook her head regardless. “Doesn’t mean she can just come in here, she has her homeroom teacher to go to if she needs someone.” 

I scoffed. “Are you serious right now?” I asked, before I could say anything else I heard two pings. One coming from her and my laptop.

I rolled my eyes at her before walking away to my separate desk. 

“I worry that you’ll continue this while I’m away for maternity leave,” the nurse said, walking to her side desk and picking up a few papers to organize. Rubbing her stomach again. 

I ignored her as I read the email just sent to us. 

‘staff meeting after school @ 4:00’

I sighed and grabbed my phone, immediately texting Ryuji. 

StinkFace 🤮❤️

*hey

*last minute teacher meeting

*get home safe

*don’t stay up for me

-

As the bell rang, I started packing my stuff up. Getting ready for the staff meeting that was most likely about Kamoshida.

Me and Yaba san walked to the meeting room, where some of the teachers were already there. The principal is at the end of the table, waiting for the teachers to all appear. 

I sat down and waited. Once everyone was here the principal started talking.

”You all clearly understand why we’re here correct?” He started. We all nodded. The principal sighed and rubbed his forehead.

”Does anyone know what we should do in the meantime for the volleyball team? or if we can find any last-minute subs for gym?”

I heard a teacher cough to get our attention, I looked over to see it was Kawakami. “Are we just going to ignore what happened?” She said, “A teacher, someone who we considered was our college just confessed to these things and we as a school are just going to ignore it?” She asked.

Another teacher, Ushimaru, sighed “Well what do you think we should do? The police coming to take him was enough trouble enough. Now the news will be bursting with stories about this.”

”To add on with that, the school’s reputation is surely ruined now.” Another said. I sighed and looked at the staff as they argued back and forth.

”What about you Y/n san, you’ve been quiet this whole time.” I blinked as I looked at the teacher who said my name. I sighed, but before I could speak another interrupted. 

“You’re quite close to the students too considering how young you are, don’t you have a solution?” 

I cleared my throat before sitting up, “Well.. why don’t we get a counselor.” I simply said.

It was silent for a while, the teachers looking at each other. I decided to continue.

”Students come to me all the time to seek comfort, before, during, and after school and that’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to help students who feel ill or get hurt.”

I then look at Yaba, “And once Yaba san goes on maternity leave, I won’t have time to take care of the students like how I am at the moment. Getting a counselor would be the best option not only for the staff but for the students as well.” I concluded.

“After this morning, do you think anyone would want to work here?” Asked Chouno. I sighed. Do they not know how a counselor works?

The staff soon started arguing back and forth about whether we should get a counselor. The principal then got everyone’s attention. 

“Well, there was someone who asked to come work as a councilor here at Shujin. I just haven’t given it any thought until now. I’m glad you brought it up Sakamoto san.”

I raised an eyebrow, “yeah..” I mumbled. The principal then went on, “I’ll get in contact with that person, we’ll hire him to help with the students. We should give him a list of students we believe will benefit him working here.” He said, “I also think that hiring him will get the media off our backs, make them believe that we care about the student’s mental beings.

My eyes widened at that, I was about to say something at the comment before the principal concluded the meeting. I huffed out a sigh and grabbed my stuff, leaving the room.

As I walked to the station, I couldn’t help but think about Ryuji. With how the school handled his whole track situation.

“So that's how he feels about the students..” I grumbled angrily.

Running up the stairs, I could hear faint sounds of yelling. 

“How can you raise him like that?” I heard someone yell as I got to the door. I stopped myself from entering the room as I heard Ryuji yell back, “Stop yelling at her!” I heard a bit of shuffling and soon the door opened in front of me. The scowl on Ryuji’s face was evident but left as soon as he saw me.

I looked back at the teachers and glared at them before walking away with the two. We walked to the entrance before our mother stopped walking. Me and Ryuji both looked back at her, confused as to why she stopped walking.

”I’m sorry..” I heard her say, I tilted my head but didn’t say anything yet.

”I’m sorry for being a single mother..” My eyes widened. “Mom..” I mumbled, taking her hand into mine, she shook her head. “I’m sorry..”

I never want Mom to ever apologize for what she couldn’t control ever again.

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[irishk0rn]

Guilty

I don’t actually hate Cenarius, I just don’t particularly care for him or his character. He just happened to be the target of my negative projection as I project onto Illidan.

Trans Illidan fic.

//

Illidan was tired. He was tired of hiding who he was; hiding behind a name that wasn’t his, hiding inside of a body that didn’t belong to him. And his brother knew; at least his brother knew. He was proud of him, actually. That was a bit of reassurance — Hell, Malfurion even helped him pick a name. And it didn’t have any correlation to his assigned name. The beginning letters or sounds weren’t even the same.

He supposed the easiest course of action after telling his brother and his close friend, Tyrande (who also happened to be transgender? who knew!) was to tell his teacher, his mentor, Cenarius.

His brother had advised him to do so; his hunch was that Cenarius would understand and maybe teach him a more masculine themed program. The night elves, sadly, had really harshly engrained gender roles. Illidan knew that it certainly wasn’t easy for Tyrande to be herself — not even with the help of him and his brother. But she was a great woman. He loved her bravery…

Illidan felt alone, despite Malfurion being right behind him, telling him encouraging words. He couldn’t really hear them — he wasn’t tuning him out on purpose, but this looming sensation of fear and coldness weighted like chains upon his already torn heart.

“It’ll be alright, brother,” Malfurion said. It ran a good chill down Illidan’s spine to be called brother. It was one of the first steps Malfurion took for him. “I think Cenarius will understand…”

“... I can only hope,” Illidan muttered, continuing on his terrifying path to speak to his teacher.

Cenarius was reading a book in between teaching druids when Illidan approached him. Malfurion decided this moment was for them, so he stayed a small distance away. But he was close enough where his brother could see him and know he was there to support him. The dark haired sin’dorei took a deep inhale, swallowing his pride and nerves. The nerves cut his throat like a blade and when he tapped Cenarius on the shoulder, he was unable to speak for a moment, the sharp unforgiveness of his pride rendering him unable to do so.

Cenarius tore his gaze away from his book. “Yes, Zar’lyne, what is it?”

Illidan tensed at the use of his deadname. “I’m, um, I’ve something to tell you, teacher…”

He could barely speak. Cenarius closed his book and turned his full attention to Illidan, which made Illidan even more nervous; and he began to sweat — when he looked at his hands, bringing them up to fidget, they were trembling. Cenarius tilted his horned head. “What is it, my student?”

Illidan took in another exhale. “My name is Illidan and I— I am a man. No longer a Stormrage sister — but a Stormrage brother.”

Cenarius frowned, and it struck a wave of fear through his student’s body. Oh Gods, he thought, he’s disappointed.

“Oh,” his teacher uttered. “I see.”

The dark haired kal’dorei frowned at him and awaited more. More than a disappointed “oh” before Cenarius went back to his book. And for a few moments, nothing more came. He almost took it as a cue to walk away before his teacher spoke again.

“Well, Zar’lyne,” Cenarius said. His deadname was used deliberately this time, “think of this: what would Elune think?”

Illidan frowned. “Elune? I…”

“Consider the question, my student. What would she think of your pretending?”

The caster was now more confused than anything. Did Cenarius really some up what he had just confided as pretending?

He reached out to pat Illidan’s head, like a parent consoles a child, but Illidan leaned out of his reach. “No, don’t — why do you think—”

Cenarius got closer and leaned down to his level. “I know you want to be like your brother, little one. But this is not the way to go. I can’t help you if you continue this charade and Elune won’t be able to, either.

“You’re not him, and you can’t ever be. So he Zar’lyne, not… what was the alias? Illidan? Don’t be that.”

And, because he was in shock, Illidan just nodded before taking his leave. As he walked by his brother, Malfurion put a hand on his shoulder, midway through asking how it went, before Illidan shoved him off. He did it so hard that Malfurion even fell in the grass. He got up quickly, changing into his travel form to catch up with his brother.

—

Illidan was throwing things in his room now, and Malfurion was trying to calm him down. He was angry now.

“Brother, please, calm yourself — stop throwing your things!”

In defiance, Illidan threw a wooden bowl at Malfurion’s head. The other elf ducked and it smashed against the wall, breaking into pieces. Had it hit him, because it was thrown so hard, it could have knocked him unconscious.

“I hate Elune. I hope she falls from grace painfully!”

Illidan began to cuss in Darnassian, and Malfurion matched the languages. How could you say that? Malfurion asked him, ducking again when Illidan threw something else, but just at the wall. She must forsake me!

His brother frowned. Why would you say that? He was concerned of the cursing Illidan was doing of whom they worshipped, afraid he would suffer consequences for his rage driven words.

“She must!” Illidan now responded in common, “She must forsake me! She made me in the wrong body, and made me your sister!”

Malfurion blinked. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means, brother! I will never be on your level — I will always be in your shadow! I will always be known as your less talented sister before I fade into nothingness. I could save all of Azeroth and I will still only be remembered as ‘Malfurion’s sister’!”

His twin went over to him and put his hands on his shoulders. “Por’wyeun,” he said. It meant brother in Darnassian. Illidan swatted his hands away. “No. I can’t talk. Get out. Get out right now.”

Malfurion frowned, but obliged, and listened to the slam and lock of the door. Then he heard even more smashing and punching of the wall before his brother let out a rageful scream that would have shaken Elune herself. And it hurt his heart for his brother. Twins were connected to some degree, and could feel each other — feel their hurt. The pain was so strong in Illidan’s heart that it made Malfurion’s own chest ache with pain, so badly that he didn’t attend his class that evening.

His family was in pain and he didn’t understand how to help him. Should he stop showing his excellation just so Illidan could feel he had a chance? Should he give up in the name of his brother? Should he let Illidan earn it? He didn’t know.

All he knew is Illidan was hurting and he didn’t know how to help.

[anon-apple]

Hot Soup and Soft Bread 23

ToC and Synopsis <- Chapter 22 Read on WordPress

Chapter 23: Wild Onions Fried Rice V

t/n: This starts off with a flashback from when Xiaoying was writing the letter than Cunqu read in the last chapter. This was a while ago, even before the start of the novel

The rain kept pouring. After writing the letter, Liu Xiaoying finally raised her head and realized how dim the living room was. Because her head hurt, she sat for a long time at her desk, propping up her forehead with her hand, blankly staring out the sheets of rain outside her window. Cunqu came outside once with his water glass. Xiaoying watched him pour the water, then slowly walked in his flip-flops back to his room.

The bedroom door shut. Who knew when it would next open?

That day, Xiaoying wanted to head downstairs to ask an old friend about some matters. When she arrived at the Breadfruit Street crosswalk, she stood for a bit at a loss, forgetting what direction she needed to go in. Holding a large dark blue umbrella, she stopped at the crosswalk. There was a fortune-telling stand following the divination style of ‘Ma Qian Ke’[1] set up in front of the convenience store. A chubby woman sat down by the old fortune teller in front of Xiaoying, who came to a stop. 

The woman asked: “How much for one round of fortune-telling?”

The old man asked: “What do you want to ask?”

The woman propped up her head on her hand and said: “I have a son. He has a good personality and is pretty optimistic; it’s just that he’s never been good at studying ever since he was little. He said before that he wanted to open a restaurant, but that didn’t pan out, and now he’s a bus driver. In middle school, his teacher told me that he had to sit by himself in the corner by the window because he was too rowdy. But he somehow found a way to loosen the window pane. The teacher enthusiastically taught the class, and he enthusiastically loosened the window and ended up removing the whole window…”

Opening a singular eye that resembled a glass marble, the old man interrupted her: “So what do you want to ask?”

The woman “Oh”-ed and replied: “Aiya, I just wanted to ask about his fate in marriage. His eight characters aren’t bad, and he’s quite handsome too. As I was saying, after he took off that window, all the students in the last row were freezing. The teacher called me to school to talk about this. Things like this happen pretty often. His dad and I both know that this rascal isn’t the type to have a bright future. But the girls these days, ah, they’ve gotten more picky. Recently, right, one of my sisters[2] from a neighboring village put me in contact with one. When she heard that my son’s educational background wasn’t great and that he was a bus driver, she said never mind. And then, two days ago, my sister from a neighboring village of a neighboring village said that she had a cousin whose daughter was around the same age as my son. But then….And then one of my other sisters….“ 

The fortune-teller old man couldn’t help but interrupt her again: “That’s enough, spin it.”

The woman “Oh”-ed again, and spun the plate before the old man. At this point, Xiaoying had already sat down next to the woman while holding her umbrella. The old man fiddled with the fortune-telling sticks, rolled his eyes, and said: “Don’t worry. His fate in marriage can’t be bad.”

The woman leaned in, especially happy, and asked: “What kind of person is it?”

The old man suddenly turned his remaining eye, which still had normal vision, to Xiaoying. Xiaoying muttered: “Is this actually accurate?”

Raindrops continuously slid down from the roof of the convenience store. The woman took Xiaoying’s large umbrella and held it over the two of them. The old man pushed the plate and asked: “What do you want to ask?”

Xiaoying touched the jade bracelet on her left wrist, and hesitantly looked and the two others. She said: “I want to ask about my grandson. He…”

Xiaoying didn’t continue speaking. She then reached forward and spun the plate. The moment the old man started to fiddle with his fortune sticks, Xiaoying stood up to leave. The woman tugged at her and said: “Hey big sister[3], he hasn’t even said anything yet.”

The old man drew a stick and said: “Don’t be anxious about his affairs. There will soon be a turning point.”

Xiaoying smiled and politely retrieved the umbrella from the woman’s hands. She stepped out and walked towards the other side of the convenience store in a bit of a haze. The woman suddenly ran up to her and asked: “Big sister, have you eaten? Why don’t I treat you to a meal?”

That day, Xiaoying ended up following this woman into a stirfry stall on the side of the street. While waiting for the dishes to come out, the two sat across from each other and blankly stared out the window at the shop signboard being loudly blown around by the wind. The woman pointed at a pickup truck on the side of the street and said: “I came into the city today to deliver some goods. My husband’s waist is hurting, and he can’t get out of bed, so I came alone.” She rubbed her calloused hands and said: “Big sister. You and I are strangers. So if you have something in your heart that you want to get out, and you don’t mind, then you can talk to me. I’m big-hearted and easy-going. I might even forget tomorrow. I won’t tell anyone else.”

Xiaoying looked at her. The waiter placed a large bowl of egg drop soup on the table. The woman hurried to pour a bowl for Xiaoying. Later, several plates of vegetables and fish filled up the table. The woman didn’t ask her anything, only chatting about the weather these days as they ate.

When it was about to be noon, the stirfry stall was packed with regulars. The floor was slippery from all the rainwater from umbrellas. Xiaoying raised her head from the midst of the hot dishes and said: “My grandson. He hasn’t gone out of the house in two years.”

The woman, who was just chewing a piece of meat, paused. Xiaoying continued: “Except for eating and drinking water, he rarely even comes out of his bedroom. One day in the early months of last year, I woke up in the middle of the night and came out of my room to take a look. He was sitting by himself on the balcony, smoking one cigarette after another. After smoking, he stood up and stared outside. At that moment, I had the feeling that maybe he had the urge to just jump down. The next day, I asked him. And I couldn’t help but cry when I asked him. He just sat there. He looked at his bowl of rice, then at me, and he said: ‘Sorry, grandma.’ I said he didn’t need to be sorry, but he absolutely could not do such a thing in grandma’s house. If he did, grandma wouldn’t be able to handle it. That night, I had a dream. I dreamt that my late husband said to me: 'Xiaoying, you can come over now,' and I said I don’t dare to come over just yet…”

Xiaoying turned and looked out of the window. Tearing up, she said: “I always felt like, the two of us, living in one household. He’s trying hard to keep going for my sake. And I’m trying hard to keep going for his sake. But this past year, I feel increasingly like I’m falling short. I feel like the old man will come and pick me up soon…”

When she came back to herself, the person across the table was crying even harder than she was. The woman messily wiped away her tears and waved the waiter over to close the check.

They shared the umbrella and walked out of the stiryfry stall. The woman ran to her truck, grabbed a small pot of China Rose, and shoved it into Xiaoying’s arms. She smiled as she said: “Big sister, didn’t that fortune teller old man from earlier say your grandson’s matters will soon turn for the better? You just wait. Soon, things will turn for the better.”

Xiaoying held the large umbrella with her left hand and a pot of orange-pinkish China Rose with her right as she stood at the crosswalk. The woman climbed onto her pickup truck and waved towards her, saying: “See you.”

--

Qiu Xuemei examined the family photo taken at Xiaoying’s eightieth birthday celebration. 

Not long after finishing the paperwork to transfer ownership of Xiaoying’s place, Zhong Qiuyan ended the lease on his rental apartment and officially moved in with Zhou Cunqu. When Xuemei was delivering goods that day, she wanted to come over and bring some strawberries to Qiuyan. Qiuyan sandwiched his phone between his shoulder and ear and replied while carrying things: “I don’t live in the same place anymore.”

When Xuemei arrived at the fifth floor of the Qin Qin Homeland community’s Building No.3, Qiuyan and Cunqu were in the middle of slowly moving the books in Cunqu’s room to the side and onto two bookshelves. The room suddenly felt a lot more spacious. A layer of dust covered the floor, and imprints of the piles of books could be seen. After sweeping and mopping the floor, there was nothing left. It was as if a room where books were overgrown like wild grass never existed in this world. They placed a rug with an irregular geometric design that they bought together onto the space they cleared out. They then put a small coffee-color sofa where you could lay down and read books next to the bookshelves.

They busied all the way until dusk. Xuemei also didn’t want to rest, so she rolled up her sleeves and helped them organize the living room. Xiaoying really liked hoarding things, and a bunch of odd objects were stuffed in the various cabinets of the living room. When Qiuyan fished out over fifty matchboxes from the drawer in the TV stand, he yelled out: “Did Xiaoying plan to go out and sell these? Wear a red cape and stand outside the Qin Qin Homeland community gates telling people that the moment they struck a match, they could see a warm oven, a fragrant roast duck…”[4]

Cunqu found a large bag of buttons at the bottom of a low cabinet. Xiaoying had collected a lot of beautiful buttons. He used plastic boxes to store them by type, and brought them into Xiaoying’s bedroom.

On top of the low cabinet was a black and white photo of Xiaoying when she was around forty years old. She had two pigtails and was wearing a white blouse. Qiuyan used the matchboxes that Xiaoying left behind to light two sticks of incense and held them in his hands: “Second grandma, I’m letting you know that I’ve officially moved in. Don’t forget what you promised me.”[5]

Then he placed two rows of AD-brand milk[6] as offerings because Xiaoying had a phase where she really liked drinking these. He clasped his hands together, bowed to pay his respects, and said: “Let me know through a dream[7] if it’s not enough.”

Xuemei stood behind him and stared at the family photo. She felt like the face in the middle was very familiar, but she couldn’t recall where she’d seen it. She shivered, wrapped her jacket tightly around herself, and suddenly yelled: “Aiya, Dudu, I was too occupied and forgot that I left your dad behind at the client. I have to go now!”

She left two boxes of blueberries and hurriedly ran down the stairs.

That day, Qiuyan and Cunqu cooked a table’s worth of dishes together to celebrate moving in together. They toasted under the warm yellow ceiling light. The fifth floor of Qin Qin Homeland’s Building No.3 finally had new residents after thirty-some years. They would give the mildew-covered walls a new coat of paint, switch out the peeling sofa, and cover the dining table with a warm yellow tablecloth and some transparent coasters. When Qiuyan wanted to kiss Cunqu in the living room, he would run over to Xiaoying’s photo and turn it around, then slide back onto the sofa and kiss Cunqu. And Cunqu would laugh and kiss him back.

On the eve of the Lunar New Year that year, Qiuyan had to return to his family village to celebrate New Year’s. Cunqu stayed behind by himself in the Qin Qin Homeland community. He made a few dishes for himself and opened a bottle of red wine. Raising a glass to Xiaoying’s photo, he said: “Grandma, Happy New Year’s.”

Qiuyan would send him a text message every then and now, howling in grief: How could I leave behind our family’s darling to cross the new year by himself. I’m less than an animal. 

Cunqu replied: Be good and go enjoy the New Year’s Eve dinner.

He walked over to turn on the TV in the living room. But for some reason, ever since Xiaoying passed, the TV would often act up.

During the last two New Year’s, Xiaoying would be picked up and have a family meal with her four children. Before she left, she would always fill the table with delicious dishes and knock on Cunqu’s door, saying: “Grandma will bring back some good food for you.”

Cunqu didn’t eat much in general. Back then, he practically forgot it was New Year’s Eve and that the next day would be a new year. He would only head out of his room when thirsty to drink some water, be startled by the fireworks outside his window, and stare at the bustle outside in a daze. 

This year, Qiuyan started talking about this very early on, repeatedly asking him if he wanted to go back with him to the Zhong family village to have a New Year’s Eve meal. Cunqu shook his head. He felt like it would be a bit awkward. So Qiuyan went by himself in the day and then drove quickly back to the city after midnight.

Cunqu had just finished showering and was sitting cross-legged in the living room reading an easily digestible short story collection. Qiuyan opened the door with his keys. With the wintry air clinging to his body, he spoke as he took off his shoes: “I’m about to freeze to death.”

Cunqu turned to look at him. Qiuyan removed his coat, slid down onto the sofa, and opened his arms: “Hurry, hug me.”

Cunqu hugged him. Qiuyan said: “Our first encounter in this new year. Did you miss me?”

Cunqu replied: “You just left this morning.”

Qiuyan argued back: “You’re really allergic to romance, Zhou Cunqu.”

Cunqu laughed.

After Qiuyan fixed the TV, they snuggled against each other and watched TV for a while. Cunqu later fell asleep on the couch. When he woke, the living room lights were dim, and no one was beside him. A blanket covered his body. The time was two o’clock in the morning, the time of day when he used to come out of his bedroom to aimlessly walk around. There were two boxes of Chocomonts on the coffee table. He sat upright in a panic and looked around for Qiuyan. A bit anxious, he pushed open the bedroom and bathroom doors. 

He turned his head and suddenly spotted Qiuyan holding the tea tin, leaning against the balcony banister and watching the fireworks in the distance. Cunqu, wrapped in a blanket, walked over and hugged him from behind, reaching for the cigarette from Qiuyan’s hands and taking a drag from it. The end of the cigarette was like a small red star in the foggy dark blue of the nighttime air. Cunqu tilted his head back and breathed out the smoke towards the skies. 

Qiuyan turned around and brushed the back of his hand against Cunqu’s face. Smiling, he said: “Happy New Year’s.”

Cunqu hugged Qiuyan even tighter and placed his head on his shoulder. He said lightly, “Happy New Year’s.”

Footnotes

[1] 马前课 (translates literally to something like ‘Divinations before the horse”, authored by the famous Zhuge Liang https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhuge_Liang during the Three Kingdoms period.   [2] Not blood-related, just a close female friend.   [3] Common address to refer to a woman who’s older than you. It’s a common and polite address, but definitely don’t use this towards women who might be the same age or younger than you lol.  [4] Reference to a famous Hans Christian Anderson fairytale https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Match_Girl   [5] I think this is a reference to Chapter 16, when Xiaoying went to Qiuyan's workplace to confront him about his relationship with Cunqu. And she said to him: “One day, when Second Grandma goes up to the sky, she will protect you both. Grandma is the type of person who is true to her words.” [6] Very popular brand of milk in China. It’s fortified with calcium and shelf-stable.   [7] Widely-shared superstition that the deceased can send messages/entrust you with matters through the form of a dream

[c-bush]

- [ ] Winn has a sister, Anastasia

- [ ] Anastasia was under mind control, sees Winn about to jump off Catco building and snaps out of it

- [ ] Fights mind control and tries to end her life, message stops her as the voice quiets

- [ ] Weeks after Myriad

- [ ] Trigger Warnings: Depression, mentions of self-harm, attempted suicide, nightmares, trauma, and hallucinations

In the school, Anastasia still thinks back to that moment in the bathtub, trying to drown herself in an attempt to drown out Non’s voice. She couldn’t talk about those memories as she drew in her sketchbook. Attempting to get all of those memories out in her pages. Her artwork was different, no doubt about it with the memories slowly coming back. She was depressed, no doubt about it but couldn’t find anyone to talk to about Myriad. Despite the many attempts the counselor has made about coming to talk to them, she didn’t take it. When the bell rang, she put her sketchbook away and left in a hurry to which the art teacher sighed as she became worried. Anastasia walked all the way home to which she shook, approaching the Catco building. She tried to go in but when she stepped in to the revolving door, she couldn’t and sat on a bench outside, waiting for her big brother to come out. She shook as she continue to draw when her brother came out. He looked over her shoulder to which Anastasia shut her book and stood up.

“Hey kiddo, you ready to go?” He asked to which she nodded, shivering from the wind. Winn was concerned as he lend her his jacket to which she took and stride home.

“You could’ve waited in the office. You know Ms. Grant has been really nice about the TV’s lately and I could’ve hooked them up and play Mario kart. You know I be toad and you’ll be Rosalina. I know she’s your favorite.” Winn said with Anastasia saying nothing, tightly squeezing the sketchbook with Winn clearing her throat, reaching the apartment.

“So Ana, it’s a little late for me to cook dinner. How about pizza tonight and Mario Kart?” He offered with Anastasia nodding, looking at the piles of homework she completed before after school. Winn ordered the pizza while Anastasia set up Mario Kart. He was just about to get the pizza when his phone rang, answering to which he was serious and nodded, looking at Anastasia with concern, hanging up. Sighing as he went to her, sitting next to her.

“Anastasia, that was the school. They…they called me in to meet with your guidance counselor. They want to discuss something so I need you to tell me right now if you did anything lately? I won’t be mad just tell me the truth.” Winn stated with Anastasia thinking hard, shaking her head no. Relieved as she kissed her head and told her he would be back. Some resistance but Winn was able to calm her down and play a few rounds of Mario Kart to which she hesitated but eventually played. They spent the rest of the night, eating pizza and playing Mario Kart to which Anastasia won almost every time with Winn smiling.

On Monday, Winn sat in the office nervous as hell. Shaking his leg with the guidance counselor, entering the office. Holding her file and sat down across from Winn.

“Mr. Schott, I apologize for keeping you waiting. I appreciate-“ She started when Winn sat up, shaking his leg.

“Look, my sister may be different but she’s…if she’s bullying people trust me I will talk and punish her for that! I will!” He told with her confused, sighing.

“Well, I appreciate that however, =6this isn’t about bullying or any student related incidents. Anastasia Schott while kind and hard working isn’t very social with her peers. However, we can talk about that another time. I’ve come to talk about her artwork.” She stated with Winn relieved.

“What about it? I don’t usually go through her sketchbook but I know she has a sketchbook here at school.” Winn offered to which the guidance counselor hand him the stapled made sketchbook. He took it and flipped through it.

“I understand that since Myriad, we’ve been shaky. We’ve offered counseling which most of the students have taken the offer however a few students haven’t either because they weren’t there during the incident or they don’t want to talk about it. Anastasia is one of those students who hasn’t taken the offer despite numerous attempts.” The guidance counselor explained with Winn sighing as he saw the picture of a girl with cuts on her arm. Looking up at the guidance counselor, he became worried.

“During the last few weeks she has completely cut herself off from the rest of the school. She only does her school work and when she is tired, she goes to the nurses office and sleeps. We’re concerned about her depression, she doesn’t eat lunch and only dives herself into her art.” They continued to which Winn scoffs a little.

“Which explains why she’s always hungry after school and even then she doesn’t always eat dinner. I know Myriad affects us all but she did see me jump off a building under Non’s control. However, Supergirl caught me but that snapped her out of it. I will talk to her about this but what do you suggest going forward I mean she won’t talk about it or go into CatCo.” Winn asked.

“I would suggest trying to see a therapist, for both of you on how to deal with Myriad and also have her see me twice a week. Also, I can’t really suggest this but in this case keep all the knives away from her, just until she proves she won’t harm herself with them.” Suggesting with Winn nodding, keep looking at each picture, horrified with each picture he saw, labeling herself for each scenario. He thanked her for the time, taking the sketchbook and leaving, feeling sick in the stomach. Walking out, he saw Anastasia crying. She saw the notebook in his hands and ran in the hallway, her backpack swaying back and forth with Winn following her. She ran down the stairs, pushing the door which was locked. She scrambled to get it open before she ran to another door, successfully getting it open and running across the sidewalk, tears filling her eyes, letting them release with her stopping at the road. The cars drove quickly with Anastasia looking frantically for Winn and to cross. When the cars stopped and she crossed, running. However a moron didn’t see that the light was red and the car sped towards her with Winn jumping in, grabbing her and pushing her and himself to the other side. Anastasia attempted to get up but Winn stopped her, hugging him.

“NO! Let me go, please! I…please!” Anastasia yelled with Winn hugging her, embracing her.

“We’ll figure this out! I promise, but you have to tell me what’s going on. Please! Please!” Winn pleaded with Anastasia, caressing her hair and holding her on the sidewalk for a little while longer. The rest was a blur for Anastasia as he told the office that he was taking her home and signed her out. The car ride was silent however when Winn was making hot coco, Anastasia held her sketchbook (book one, not the paper booklet). Covered in a Nightmare Before Christmas blanket. When he was done, he poured the hot water in the mugs and stirred in the mix. He carried them both to the couch, setting them down with Anastasia, spacing out with Winn concerned, slowly taking the book away from her. Setting it down on the coffee table, he looked at her, hugging her.

“I know Myriad-“ He started with Anastasia shaking her head.

“I can’t talk about that. I don’t want to, why does everyone want me to talk about it?” She shouted with Winn sighing.

“I…let’s start with your drawings. Counselor said you were drawing some concerning pictures. Not saying you’re threatening anyone but they do need to be addressed.” Winn explaining to Anastasia with her burying her head in her hands with Winn slowly opening the book at the first page which didn’t have anything concerning so he kept going until he saw the bathtub and overwhelmed Anastasia cried. Winn stared at the drawing then turning to Anastasia and gave a soft tap to her shoulder.

“Kiddo…I know this is hard but we need to talk about this.” Winn persisted with Anastasia nodding, crying.

“I would never hurt anyone unlike Non. Why did he do what he did?” Anastasia cried with Winn looking at the drawing.

“I don’t know why Non did what he did, however I know that you were out of the mind control when you tried to drown yourself. That was a scary moment because if…if you succeeded…then I would have our whole family. I can’t imagine life without my little sister. Can’t imagine life without you.” Winn reassured to which she didn’t buy right away.

“You said you didn’t know why Non would do these thing but do you think I would hurt people?” She asked again with Winn looking her square in the eyes.

“No, I don’t think you are capable of hurting people. Not like dad was, however I do believe that you are capable of hurting yourself. From the bathtub to the cuts.” Winn replies with Anastasia looking down. Winn holds her hands and lightly strokes her arm with Anastasia wincing with pain. Winn slowly pulls up her sleeve to reveal an array of cuts zigzagging across her arm. Winn studied the arm with Anastasia shaking.

“I’m sorry. I…was having nightmares about the drowning incident so I was just trying to quiet the voices, the memories, all of it. I thought it would help!” Anastasia explains with Winn hugging her as Anastasia cries in his arms.

“I’m so…so…sorry.” Crying with Winn holding her, trying to process what he learned.

“Sssh, it’s ok. We will figure this out, I promise.” Holding her as she continues shaking and sobbing.

“Deep breaths, deep breaths.”Winn gently reminds her as she does that with the hug lasting another moment before letting go and slowly going through each page. Feeling drained, taking sips of hot chocolate as they ended the day with a shower, changing of clothes and a showing of The Nightmare Before Christmas with her lying on the couch with Winn making spaghetti. Anastasia laid on the couch, blankly staring at the TV with Winn finishing the food, putting it on the plate and going over to her, laying it on the table, shaking Anastasia.

“Kiddo, dinner.” Winn said.

“Not hungry.” Anastasia replies with Winn sighing, sitting on the couch.

“Did you eat lunch? Counselor told me that you don’t always eat lunch.” Winn answered with Anastasia looking at him with her shaking her head no.

“Eat a couple bites for me atleast. You’re not hungry still I’ll let you stop.” Winn compromising with Anastasia sat up, Winn got up, sitting on the couch with him handing her the plate which she then ate a couple bites with Anastasia struggling as Winn comforting her with each bite, rubbing her back. Kissing her head.

“You’re doing good, kiddo. Keep going, please.” Winn encouraged with Anastasia continuing to eat. When she was nearly done, she put it down and went back to curling up in a ball. Winn kissed her head with him finishing his dinner as well.

“You did good, kiddo. Proud of you!” Winn praised, clearing the plate and putting them in the sink to which he came back and found her asleep on the couch in he wrapped the blanket around her, kissed her head, while turning off the lights and the TV. He went to bed, feeling shaky about what he learned about his sister and how he was going to look after her now. This year has been crazy for him no doubt between learning that his best friend and longtime crush was Supergirl, taking in his little sister in after finding out his father had been experimenting and abusing her, and now this..he wasn’t sure how to cope with all of this.

The next few days have been intense. Between working for IT for Catco and starting his transition to the DEO, it was a whirlwind that he seemed to put Anastasia’s mental health on the back burner. It became exhausting as he crashed almost every day after work. One night though, he was sleeping hard when Anastasia woke up screaming from a nightmare and she shook on the couch, covering her ears. Shaking as she was frozen from fear. Sneaking up from the couch and making her way to the kitchen, quietly tiptoeing, slowly opening each drawer with no luck until she found a kitchen knife lying in the sink. Picking it up and quietly going back to the couch where she sat down, holding the knife in her hand. Crying as she started to put the cool knife near her wrists with her tears trickling out of her eyes to which she started cutting. Each push made her skin crawl with her anxiety high as she cried, not finishing the rounds as she laid back down and cried herself to sleep. The next morning, Winn woke up to make some coffee, quietly pouring the coffee into his mug. When he was about to drink the first sip, he heard a clank sound. Stopping what he was doing to investigate the sound. He came around, quietly sneaking around the living area in which he bent down and saw the knife, red stuff stuck to it and he knew what happened. He shook her to which she dragged herself up and her hand was covered in blood. Winn held the knife, looking at her who was ashamed along with Anastasia.

“You had another nightmare?” He question to which Anastasia nodded with Winn comforting her and helping her clean her wounds and bandage the arm. He looks at her with worry and hurt, thinking about what to do. He didn’t want to send her to school, however he knew he had to work so he kissed her head and made her breakfast. As he was making her eggs, his phone rang. He picked it up, expecting it to be Kara or James. However it wasn’t either of them but the school informing them that there would be no school due to plumbing issues and that they are going to be closed the majority of the week. Winn groaned, thinking about what he could do, hanging up.

“Dammit!” He muttered to himself with him pacing around, not seeing the eggs burning with Anastasia pointing that out to which he scrapped the eggs and threw the pan in the sink, frustrated. Breathing with him going to Anastasia.

“No school, but you need to come to work for me. I don’t feel good about leaving you because of what happened. Can you get dressed for me and then we can go to that cafe you love? Croissants and chocolate chip muffins?” Winn reasoned to which she stood up and started getting dressed in her most comfortable shirt and pants she could find. Doing everything seemed to be a struggle with her doing regular things such as brushing teeth, hair, and putting on deodorant. She shook putting her shoes on, lacing the sneakers extra tight with Winn knocking and opening the door in which he leaned down and help her, undoing the laces to make sure she was comfortable. Fixing her hair, revealing her face, smiling slyly.

“You look pretty. Now go get your bag together and I’ll call the cafe place, tell them to save us a table.” Winn said with Anastasia doing it. Bringing everything from her schoolwork to her sketchbook, IPad and headphones. When she finished with the task, Winn checked his pockets for keys, wallets, and badge. When he had everything, they left the apartment. The trip to the cafe was a blur and going to the table with the smell of pastries hitting them hard.

“It smells good back there. What do you think you’ll order? I think I’ll get the egg and cheese bagel.” Winn started with Anastasia looking blankly at the menu with Winn concerned.

“Kiddo, I’m going to make some calls today to see if I can use my insurance at Catco for therapy sessions.” Winn announced with Anastasia nodding, not paying attention to what Winn was saying. Staring at the knife with Winn taking it away slowly from her.

“So you told me you had another nightmare? You want to tell me what happened and how I can help?” Winn asks with Anastasia staring out the window as the waitress came and took there orders. While Winn got an egg and cheese bagel, Anastasia got a banana chocolate chip muffin. They ate with her barely getting through the muffin. When they finished, he secretly ordered her an another banana chocolate chip muffin and half a bagel and bagged it up for later and left with her to the office. The office was bustling as Cat Grant was walking with her assistant trailing behind. Winn whispered to Anastasia where she sat next to Winn as he began cracking down the codes.

“Winn, I’m tried. You think I can sleep in Ms. Grant’s office?” Anastasia asked with Ms. Grant yelling at her assistant, with her crying.

“Maybe not now. Try and listen to some music, ok?” Winn suggests with Anastasia taking out her headphones and IPAD, playing her music. Time passed as Winn had to print something out with him whispering to her. Winn got up and left with Anastasia looking around as Cat Grant was leaving her office. Anastasia lurked around and saw the couch, she went in with other employees shocked and silent as she walked through the office. She looked around with the office white and pink with TVs surrounding the top, she saw the pen and took it. Letting the ink draw on her skin, however it didn’t give her satisfaction so she set it down and saw the letter opener, picking that up. Golden tip as she put the base on her skin, cold to the touch on her skin. She sat down on the couch, scared. Putting it down at the glass table and lied on the couch to sleep. Back in the copier, he struggled with the printer in which he heard Cat yell.

“What fresh hell?” Cat yelled as Winn ran back to her office to which the assistant struggled to formulate an answer to find Anastasia sleeping with the letter opener on her table.

“Ms. Grant, I am so sorry, she-“ Winn started with her putting her hand up to make Winn stop talking.

“I don’t care about the child, let her sleep. Personally, she’s been the best addition all morning. Not a peep, which is what I expect out of my employees. I care about the letter opener being left at my table where it could scratch the glass. Sierra, fix this now and then get me my lunch. Drizzle the dressing on the salad. Chop, chop!” Cat ordered with Sierra quickly putting the letter opener away and ran to get Ms. Grant her lunch with Winn concerned as he kiss Anastasia on the head with her not noticing and left to make some calls. During the course of the day, Winn kept checking in on Anastasia who kept sleeping and shivering a little from the air conditioning. He looked at the time in which it was almost two. She hasn’t eaten lunch yet so he decided to walk into the office and bent down, shaking Anastasia to which she woke up dazed.

“I was going to have lunch, why don’t you join me?” Winn said with Anastasia shaking her head no with Winn, gesturing for her to make room on the couch in which she scooted over and made room for Winn.

“You’re not eating as much as you used to. Ana, I’m really worried and I should’ve caught this sooner…I made a call and there’s a therapist that can talk to you. We meet with her on Saturday, it’ll be at home to see if she’s a good fit but I think she will be.” Winn announces with Anastasia quickly shaking her head.

“I know this is a challenge but I agree that you need help and…I hate seeing you in this state. Where you’re always sleeping and isolating yourself from people. I know this year hasn’t been easy for either one of us, but I think it’ll do us some good to talk to someone.” Winn pleads with Anastasia freezing, Winn hugging her from the side as the hug didn’t faze her to which he kissed her head and pulled out the egg and sausage bagel from earlier, handing it to Anastasia, taking it and trying to eat. Trying to eat as Winn ate a salad he grabbed two hours ago and ate that. It helped slowly with her picking at the sausage and finally finish the sandwich. The rest of the day consisted of Anastasia doing a couple pieces of homework while Winn works and then she listen to music. When the day ended, they went home where they ate and then bed.

The next day, they were waiting in a lobby. Winn filled out some papers with Anastasia looking around, rubbing her hands on her thighs, anxious.

“I don’t think I can do this! I’m sorry, I thought I could do this but I can’t.” Anastasia got up with Winn stopping her to which she resisted.

“No, it’s ok. She is nice, I’ve talked to her and she is going to help I promise. Just please, give this a try.” Winn says trying to get her to sit down. She initially does that but when he lets go, she attempts to run but Winn holds her hands and asks her to sit down, which she does. She shook her leg where a woman came out, looking no younger than late 20s-early 30s, her hair a long brunette wearing a float pink shawl and dark blue jeans approach them.

“Winn?” She asks to which he nods and nudges Anastasia who shakes, standing up with her not looking at her.

“Hi come on back.” She said to which they did. Sitting on the couch, Anastasia thought about the window with the therapist looking through the notes.

“Do you prefer to be called Anastasia or Ana. Your brother calls you Ana in sessions sometimes.” She asks to which she said nothing, looking out the window.

“It’s normal to be nervous and this process can be overwhelming, but we do need to trust each other. That’s the only way you can heal.” She continues with Anastasia looking at her.

“Let me ask you this. Can you make me unsee my brother trying to kill himself while under that psycho’s control or that you’re not someone with ulterior motives that will kill us!” Bluntly stating as Anastasia stands up with Winn stopping her.

“Ana, please. Listen to what she has to say.” Winn pleads with Anastasia wanting to leave but seeing the pain in her brother’s eyes made her tear up.

“Please, look at me. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t think she could be trusted. I love you and I want to do what me best for you, so let’s try, ok? Just try!” Winn cries in which Anastasia sits down along with Winn, looking down.

“My name is Anastasia but you can call me whichever but I would prefer Anastasia for the time being.” She said to which the therapist nods.

“It’s nice to meet you, Anastasia. My name is Nina Carson. What brings you in today?” Nina asks as Winn explains the situation with Anastasia which she spaced out, looking out the window. Nina nods with her looking at Anastasia.

“Ana-“ Nina starts when Anastasia snapped out of it, looking at her.

“It’s Anastasia. I’m sorry, I need to go!” Anastasia snaps, standing up and leaving. Out the door, she shook as there was security officers there, dragging a kid out of the building. She shook as she crept away from the scene and out the door. Her mind traveled from each scene, seeing Winn walking. She ran towards him and followed him where the Winn in her mind was entering Catco. Breathing as she entered the building, slowly creeping through the building, avoiding the people and bumped into James who was worried.

“Ana, you ok? Thought you were at the center with Winn?” James asked with Anastasia looking at the Winn who was treading up the stairs. Anastasia looked back at James.

“Cancelled last minute now if you excuse me!” Anastasia quickly addressed as she left and trodded up the stairs. She followed it when she saw Winn on the roof. Heart racing, slowly going towards him.

“Winn, please. Don’t do this! You’re so much stronger than this, look at me. I’m going to get you down, won’t let anything happen to you.” Anastasia cautioned, slowly going closer to the edge where the Winn put one foot off the ledge.

“Get on, look at the view. It’s incredible, too bad Non is going to destroy it.” Winn said blankly with Anastasia pleading.

“No, Non is dead! He’s not going to hurt us or anyone again. Please get down.” Anastasia pleads with Winn becoming more menacing, staring at her intensely. His foot dangled off the ledge with Anastasia’s heart racing.

“Join us, sister. If we cannot fulfill Non’s destiny than I’m not sure National City will be worth saving.” Winn said, looking out.

“Join me and we shall die together!” Winn said with Winn about to fall when Anastasia grabbed him getting up.

“I’m up, I’m up.” Anastasia quickly stated, looking down at the ground. Her mind racing, sweat pouring down her face and back where it stuck to her shirt. Her tears swallowed her whole when her “brother” comforted her.

“Non has a plan for us and I trust him. On three?” Winn comforts as Anastasia nods. Winn counted to three and jumped with Anastasia about to jump when she felt a pull and landed on the ground.

“No! Winn!” She screamed with the real Winn comforting her, hugging her.

“Sssh, sssh! It wasn’t real, it’s ok. I’m here.” Winn comforts as she lets go and runs to the ledge where she sees no one. Confused as her brother grabs her by the hand and walks her out of the roof, pulling her down the stairs and out of the building. Kneeling down, hugging her kissing her head.

“I’m here. Please, please don’t do that again! Oh my god!” Winn pleads with her as Anastasia nods, kissing her head. Anastasia backs away with Winn trying to keep his composure, guiding her back to the office but he realized what happened decided to have her go home. While in the apartment, Winn was locking the fire escape and having the chairs block the ledge so she couldn’t fall. Along childproofing the drawers so she couldn’t get into the knives. He was done when a knock came at the door. He opened it and there was Dr. Carson to which he was relieved and invited her in.

“I appreciate this and I’m really sorry about what happened.” Winn apologizes with Nina concerned for her.

“Is she safe in her room?” Nina asked with Winn nodding.

“Yes, I secured the drawers and locked all of the fire escapes and entrances to the ledges. She’s in her room and…maybe I’ll go out and get some dinner.” Winn suggests but Nina didn’t know about that idea.

“I really think you should stay with her. She’s vulnerable right now and she needs someone to lean on. I suggest staying here with us. Please?” Nina asks with Winn nodding with him getting Anastasia and heading to the living room where Nina got her stuff ready.

“Hi Anastasia, I know the office can be overwhelming so Winn spoke to me and we decided to have our first intake session here.” Nina explains with Anastasia nodding, defeated as she sat down on the couch with Winn bending down.

“Hey, it’s going to be ok. I’ll be in the other room.” Winn whispered with Anastasia nodding, kissed her head and leaves. Winn closes the door as Nina sits down and got started.

“So…your brother told me why you need to seek treatment, however I want to hear in your own words why you are seeking therapy?” Nina asks with Anastasia, fiddling with her fingers.

“I…I…I just keep having nightmares about what happened…during Myriad and…just want to learn to cope with that.” Anastasia saying with Nina writing this down while explaining that she was experienced in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, and Narrative Exposure Therapy. Anastasia felt her stomach churning with her blacking out as she began to answer the questions. She didn’t feel like she was there, but was talking to some degree. When the basic questions were done such as sexuality, gender, had experience with therapy before, etc.

“So now I’m going to ask you some questions regarding symptoms you’ve been feeling and family history. Some of this may be hard so take your time and we’ll go slow. Therapy is a marathon, not a race.” Nina explains with Anastasia sighing and nodding with her going through each symptom and history with her saying no to some of it, others hitting a raw nerve such as flashbacks, nightmares, history of eating disorder, or depression. Holding back tears as she said yes and explained what she felt. Nina took notes as Anastasia felt weak, every word coming out was exhausting and her energy was drained to the bone. When she was done, she answered all of the remaining questions with Nina writing down things for observations and every answer she gave.

“Thank you for your time, I know this was hard but I do appreciate your honesty. With what I gather here and the information your brother gave me, I can say you do have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression. I think Eye Desnsitazation-“ Nina explains with Anastasia shaking her head.

“Please leave! I’ve met with you and now I’m done, please leave!” Anastasia exclaims, standing up from the couch and going into her room with Winn going back to Nina. Winn guides her out with him thanking her again, Anastasia hearing their conversation. The door closed with Winn looking back at Anastasia with fear in his eyes.

“She wants to help, please allow her to do that. I trust her and I would never ever put you in a situation-“ Winn starts with Anastasia shaking her head.

“You told me one session, I did it. Did my part.” Anastasia argued.

“Almost jumping off a building at my workplace, yeah, deal is off. You need help! Why can’t you see that!” Winn yells with Anastasia feeling more angry by the minute with Winn, trying to leave the room.

“Oh no, we are not done with this!” Winn following her into her room, closing the door.

“You can’t deny how different you’ve been since this whole thing. No take that back, this whole year. Yes, traum-“ Winn starts with Anastasia finally having enough.

“Don’t you get it! Why make me talk about something that’s hard. I want to forget it happened, what happened with me and dad, making me into a soldier. I don’t want to relive that, but you keep insisting I do! I do these things to cope and yes, I shouldn’t have jumped off that building but I saw you and thought you were going to die. Die, D-I-E! Hard enough of a concept to understand!” Anastasia snaps.

“Don’t get wise with me, Anastasia! Don’t you dare! I brought her in to help and try to make some sense of this bullshit you’ve been going through! You think it’s easy taking care of you? No, it hasn’t! I keep constantly having to-“ Winn snaps with him taking deep breaths with Anastasia near tears.

“I wish I didn’t have you as a brother!” Anastasia snaps, her voice sharp as she chokes back a sob with Winn defeated as he starts to leave.

“I wish you weren’t like dad, but here we are!” Winn coldly states, walking out of the room. Anastasia gets up, slams the door with Winn being pushed out of the room. Going back and lying on her bed, seeing the locks on her window and door to the ledge. Crying softly as she drifts off to sleep.

Hours pass before Winn knocks on the door.

“Ana, it’s Winn. Listen, can you come out? I got some chocolate molten lava cake, the one you love at Saudi’s. When I say molten, it’s really hot so please come take it?” Winn offered with Anastasia groggily waking up, her head pounding.

“Since I’m dad, shouldn’t I not get molten lava cake?” Anastasia fired back with Winn sighing and coming in with the cake. Setting it down as the steam from the cake rose. Winn sat on her bed, looking around the room.

“I didn’t mean it when I said I wish you weren’t like dad. I just…want you…” Winn lost his words as Anastasia sat there, looking at the molten lava cake. Her eyes trying not to tear up, Winn comforted her.

“I’m so sorry I said those things. I just want you safe and…if you don’t want to see Dr. Grant anymore, I understand. I…just wish I knew what to do to help you. I don’t like seeing you like this, trapped and hurting.” Winn said as she nodded, eating a piece, trying to avoid talking because if she spoke, all of her tears would fall to the ground. The hot chocolate melted in her mouth and swallowed it slowly, looking at Winn.

“I didn’t mean it when I said I wish I didn’t have a brother. I was just angry and hurt. The reason I went on that roof is because I thought I saw you. You…you talked about ending it and I didn’t want that…but in other ways I did.” Anastasia sucked through her teeth to take a deep breath with Winn listening intently.

“I’ve seen what our parents have done, especially dad. All I wanted was stability and…I couldn’t have that. Those years in dad’s lair was hell and…sometimes I wish I was dead. I wanted to end the pain, the suffering, and stress of it all. When I got taken out of his care and into yours, I thought fresh start I finally get a chance of belonging to a family. However, Non…the mind control, it felt horrible and I was trapped in my own mind and when I saw you about to jump off that ledge, my mind snapped back into place. I witnessed it and thought Non was going to take my brother and my only family I have left. That’s why I went back home and…and…I thought all of our family was dead and just wanted to join them.” Anastasia cried to which Winn hugged her tightly, releasing all of the tears she held back and cried on his lap.

“I’m here, I’m here.” Winn held back tears himself, coughing as an excuse to not cry. Rubbing her back up and down, trying to comfort the shaking she was doing.

“Please don’t leave Winn! Please don’t leave again!” Anastasia cried to which Winn let go and cupped her face, face full of tears and red streaks of tears.

“Hey, I will never ever leave you. You’re my sister and I couldn’t imagine life without you. I promise, I’m here and always will be. I love you so much!” Winn vows to which she hugged Winn more and Winn took the hug and held her tightly. The day ended with Anastasia telling Winn everything she was feeling and Winn promising to take things slowly. Eventually the molten lava cake was finished and knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but they were going to work it out. No matter what, Winn would care for his baby sister and undo the damage that was done by Non and figure out how to cope. Things were unsteady but they would get to steady someday but for now they had each other and that was the most important thing right now.

[idontplaytrack]

Hey, could you write a Rejanis angst where Regina has problems with a teacher acting inappropriately but gets scared and doesn't tell anyone, over time Janis realizes that her girlfriend has become increasingly quiet and withdrawn and that her bad habits food is coming back but Regina refuses to tell her until the situation with the teacher goes beyond the limit and she runs to Janis asking for help?

(Maybe I identify more than I want:/)

✧ Still scared of it all

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: MDNI— mature themes. Sexual harassment & assault, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, coarse language. Reader discretion advised.

“15 and 16: I had to be strong. 22: I’m still scared of it all.” — Tattoos, Reneé Rapp

At 15: Regina’s father left. He left the house one night and never returned. When Regina found that out in the morning, a deep hatred for the man was ignited in the blonde. She hated that he just left after everything that he’s done— to hurt her, to hurt Kylie to hurt her mother. Drinking all day long, yelling at them for no reason, all three of them have gotten hurt by him physically and God Regina hoped he didn’t do anything worse to either her Mom or her sister.

At 16: A year later, he comes back. Tries to make things right. But after one beer bottle got flung at Kylie’s head— that she’d barely avoided, Regina swung on him, punching him over and over in the jaw. June had to pull her off. “Fuck off!” Regina gripped his collar, “How could you do that to your own daughter?! Don’t you dare lay a finger on either of them. I will hurt you. I’m not afraid of you.”

At 17: Junior girls were all at each other’s necks thanks to the Burn Book. That was eventually resolved, but all the students’ relationships were strained as a result and took so much effort to reconcile. As for Regina, she focused on reconciling with one person: Janis ‘Imi’ike. Her ex-best friend whom she lost due to her own doing. After that fateful kiss during spin the bottle came months of bullying, Janis was drove crazy. She also hated Regina, she hated her guts. The one person she trusted with her life betrayed her and became her biggest bully. Because of that, Janis became so bitter and angry at just about anything. She didn’t believe in what she used to, she no longer believed in happiness and love…the good things. It took Regina nearly 4 months to get Janis to even look her in the eye.

“Why? Why’d you do that to me? I don’t get it. You could’ve just left me alone.”

“I’m sorry, Janis. I’m sorry, I was scared, I had no idea what going on with me. My Dad was deadbeat drunk, he hit Kylie, he hit my mom, sometimes he hit me. I became angry, such an angry person that I took that anger out on just about anyone along the way. But they didn’t deserve it, especially not you. I shut you out because I was terrified of being hurt again. You were the one person I have actually cared about and I was scared I’d lose you because you’d leave me one day— that we’d drift and not be friends anymore. I couldn’t take the guessing game and pulled that crap during spin the bottle, and called you that fucking name. I hurt you, my best friend and I regret every single moment of it.” The blonde rambles.

Janis looked at her, trying to process all of it, feeling the air leave her lungs in shock. Her eyes must look insane right now.

“I’m sorry,” Regina croaked, “You don’t have to forgive me. I just needed you to know. You deserved to know why. I’m so sorry, Janis.”

At 18: Graduation night, Regina spots Janis sitting on the curb outside school. Alone. Taking the chance, she approaches her, sitting down next to her. “Hi. Whatcha doing?”

The brunette sighs. “Trying not to give in to the urge to drink. You? Why aren’t you with Gretchen or Karen or your Mom?”

“Why aren’t you with Damian?”

Janis chuckled wryly, “He’s on a date with his boyfriend. Anniversary. So, here I am— all alone.”

“You’re not alone.” Regina answered quietly, “You’ve got me.”

“I don’t need your pity.” Janis mutters.

“Janis, this is not pity. I want you back in my life, please? Let’s work on that.”

“Are you sure?” Janis asks, having a moment of calmness around her for the first time since several years ago, “Or is this a prank and you’re just waiting to make fun of me again? Because I can’t take another round of that. I might actually kill myself.”

“I’m serious. I swear.” Regina replies solemnly, sticking one leg out straight, “I said, I swear.”

“I heard you.” Janis glances at her.

“Do the leg thing.” Regina says, wiggling the foot she stuck out, “Remember? We used to bump our feet together to make a promise.”

Janis bit back a smile, doing as Regina said, then hooking their pinkies.

“Okay.” Regina exhales, “Let’s go do something fun to celebrate. We’re done with high school.”

Janis pondered for a second, “Okay.”

What’s she got to lose, right? She’s already hit rock bottom years ago at 12. Apparently her V Card. A tipsy confession led to way, way more that night with North Shore’s queen bee.

The next morning, they knew what happened last night. They weren’t drunk, just had a couple drinks in them. Which…led to a pretty difficult conversation about where they stood. What their relationship was right now. Difficult because they didn’t have any alcohol to help but lose some of the nerves, not because they didn’t want to talk. Because— they wanted to. It was just a lot to process and make clear.

Age 19, Winter: They were settling well into freshmen year of college, Regina and Janis have been coming up to a year of their relationship. With their anniversary approaching, Janis took Regina’s lack of talking to her and spending time with her was due to anniversary plans. But her guess was proven wrong when she saw Regina left a lecture on the verge of tears.

“G, what’s wrong?” Janis approached her quickly, gently holding onto her wrist.

Regina wriggles her hand out of her girlfriend’s grip, “Nothing, I’m fine, Janis. Just stressed. The lecturer kept calling on me to answer questions but I’m tired. Okay, I’m fucking tired.”

Taken aback by Regina snapping at her, though unintentionally, Janis retracts her hand. “I’m sorry. Talk to me when you’re ready okay?” Turning on her heel, she leaves the blonde, and made her way back to the dorm. Her backpack lands on her bed with a muffled thud, then Janis goes over to her wards to pick out a new outfit for after her shower.

A few hours later, Janis sat at her desk, working on a new drawing to sew over. Regina’s anniversary present. Just then, her phone buzzes on the wooden surface, pulling her out of her focus.

When Regina returned she seemed to be in a much better mood, like her usual self. Janis was relieved, giving her a hug from behind. “Where we headed?”

“What’re you feeling for dinner?” Regina returns the questions.

“I dunno.” Janis shrugs, breaking away from the embrace, “Tacos? We could go to No.1?”

“Oh, sure can.” Regina agrees, “I’m gonna get changed real quick then we can leave okay?”

“Alright.”

Age 19, Spring: The weather in New York City started to get warm again, but Regina didn’t stop wearing sweatshirts, and hoodies. Janis picked up on it once the weather turned warm, working up the courage to talk to her while observing closely. Though to the brunette, this was a no-brainer. Regina’s struggled with this before, and now, it was back. But what Janis didn’t know…was why.

“Ms. George, I need to speak to you, please stay behind for a moment.”

“Sure, Mr. Graham.” Regina breathed out heavily, dreadfully turning towards his desk.

“Your grade. A B’s not good enough.”

“You said I had to get better than a C, which I now have.” Regina states. He steps forward, slyly snaking an arm around her waist, “You were a straight A student at your high school, we can’t have your grades slip, Ms. George.”

“Stop it.” Regina seethed, “You need to stop doing that.”

“Or what?” He asks, feigning innocence, “Whoops, my hand slipped. Sorry, Ms. George.”

The blonde purses her lips together, body tensing up when she feels his palm on her bottom. “Can I leave?”

“Do you want a B?”

“No.”

His arm was snaked around her waist again, “Are you sure? That sure wouldn’t look nice on your transcript. We know what a perfectionist you are…” His hand reaches over and gripped her side while his arm still stayed around her. “What a beautiful figure.”

“Can I leave?”

The older guy huffs, “Fine. You know the drill, Regina. Like that.” He snaps his fingers, “And your next grade? Could be a failing one. Would definitely cost you your scholarship, darling.”

~~~~~~

A week later, at the next class, the same thing happens. Regina got what he meant. He always got it, if she didn’t just take it, her grade would be a failing one. Then, she wouldn’t be able to finish her college education. She doesn’t want that, she’s worked extremely hard to get into this school. “Ms. George, great work on that last paper.”

“Thanks.” The blonde mumbles, practically one foot out the door.

“What’s the rush? It’s Friday. Stay.” He shoots her a look, she had to obey. She was terrified. He walks closer and close to her, eyes watching the hallways.

“Alright, w-what—”

Once the hallways outside were empty, he hand a firm grip on her shoulder then shoved her onto the desk, bent over. His free hand roamed down her bottom and squeezed the flesh. A quiet whimper falls from her mouth as her heart started to pound in her chest. Tears threatened to fall as he continued to feel her up. She felt disgusting, and helpless. Trying her hardest to get out of this mess but he was eerily strong— she also felt like she was frozen. Like she couldn’t move…paralysed. She tried to scream, but no sound loud enough came out. When his hand started to move to the space in between her legs. Sheer panic came over to her as she decided to play along, tickling his hand and causing him to loosen his grip. Regina twisted his hand making him scream, swiftly she fought him off in this brief moment of weakness and scurried out of the lecture hall.

“Bitch.” She hears.

~~~~~

“Regina! Right?”

Shit. Why now?

“Mr. Graham.” Regina sighs, annoyed, “Yes, it’s me. May I help you, sir?”

He looks at Janis, unsuccessfully hiding a perverted smile when he saw the brunette in a flattering cropped top that showed off her figure. “What’s your problem? Stop staring at me like that, you old man.”

“My apologies, I wasn’t.”

Janis wanted to punch him already, “Let’s go, baby.” With that, Janis immediately got them away from the guy. Hopefully he got the hint now. “Wouldn’t want to be late to our dinner reservation.”

That interaction rendered Regina sick to her stomach. Looking at the menu made her feel worse. She barely ate, which concerned Janis. “Regina.” Janis spoke quietly, “You have to eat dinner, please.” She noticed the look on the girl’s face.

“I don’t feel well.” Regina answers in a similar volume.

Janis wasn’t sure if it was purely because she felt unwell, or the fact that she’s been eating less and less lately, that made her feel unwell. “G, please just try and have something light, okay? We gotta eat. If you feel full, stop. I’m not gonna make you finish your plate.”

Regina nodded after a brief pause, decisively, “Okay. I’ll eat something.”

~~~~~~

“Ms George, you know what to do, hun.”

She hated this, whatever this was. And her life. Why was she the one target?

It’s been like clockwork for the last seven months. Each time worse than the last, even though they were the same moves from him. He always had his hand lingering too long on hers or her shoulder in class, after class…he just groped her for his own pleasure. Every time, Regina would save herself moments before the worst case scenario.

Today was no expection.

Thankfully it was her last class of the day so she returns to her dorm where Janis was already sleeping. Napping, actually. Well.

Regina stripped her clothes off and took a long shower, desperately trying to scrub the lingering disgusting feeling from her skin. But, she feels her frustration build and build, so did her tears. Her lips quivering, tears eventually slipped down her cheeks as the water from the shower continually poured down onto her bare body. Regina sobs, muffling the noise with a hand over her mouth.

Drying herself off and getting dressed, she checks her reflection in the mirror, thank god her eyes weren’t too red. She could just lie and say that she got shampoo in her eyes. It’s definitely happened before.

“Hey, you’re back.” Janis got up, sleepily smiling then pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Hi.” Regina frowns.

“How was your day?”

Terrible. ‘I should tell someone. I should tell…Janis’

“I- I need to tell you something.” Regina spat out, instantly flustered, or simply panicking already.

“You— you know the guy we saw on our way to dinner awhile ago?”

“Guy? Your lecturer?”

“Yeah.” Regina takes a deep breath, “I need your help. He— some months back my grade went down to a C, which was my fault because I didn’t really get the class and so that happened. But then he singled me out to talk to me after class and he said if I did ‘something’, I could get my grade back up to a B, or even an A. I thought he meant actual extra-credit assignments or projects. But— fuck!”

Her breathing began picking up its pace as she fiddled with her thumbs.

“Hey, hey. Regina, it’s okay. Take it easy, take your time. Breathe. In and out, honey. In and out.” Janis cajoled, “Breathe for me, huh? Okay?”

“He wanted me to let him touch me. Arm around my waist, squeezing my side, my shoulder, he groped my ass, and he almost used…his fingers on me. Many— many times. I tried fighting him off but I always felt so weak. It’s like I was frozen. I couldn’t move even though I wanted to turn around and punch him in the throat and kick his fucking dick!”

Regina wailed, breaking down in Janis’ arms as she rubbed her back, “I got you. I know exactly what to do. Okay? Trust me, babe.”

“Of course, I do. I trust you with my life, Janis.” Regina hiccups, “I didn’t know how to tell anyone— I— I’ve been feeling like shit, baby. He said— he said he liked my figure. So my brain thought, ‘hey, if you don’t eat that much, you’ll lose that ‘figure’ so he wouldn’t be so attracted to you and leave you alone’. But no, he kept doing it, he kept saying those things and said I looked better and better— like— what the fuck!”

“It’s okay. It’ll be okay.” Janis assured, “I promise you. I’ll stop all of that tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. It’s not something you need to apologise for.” Janis stops her, “I have a morning class, yours are in the afternoon. I’ll go for my class in the morning and stick around in school, near where you are. I know which rooms you’ll be in so I will be right outside every class. Even just a little bit of noise, I’ll be right there.”

~~~~~

Today, Janis intentionally put on the same top Graham saw her in that one evening when she and Regina were on their way to dinner. “Doesn’t raise suspicion, this is subtle enough for me to get by the day unnoticed by anyone but him. Maybe you. I know you like this top.”

Regina allowed herself to chuckle, “Of course I do. I bought you this shirt.”

“That you did.” Janis grins, “This’ll look a little silly but I’ll have my phone on a lanyard around my neck, camera facing out. He can’t deny any of it if it’s caught on tape. It’s evidence, if not one believes us, we’ll still have the video. Which could come in handy since we will be reporting this to the police.”

~~~~~

“Pity you’re attached, you would’ve been so lucky to be spoilt by me…” He purrs, sending a sickening chill down Regina’s back.

“I have a girlfriend, mind you.” Regina snarled.

“Watch your tone.”

“Yeah, of course. You’re my teacher.” Regina smirked. The door opens a crack, Janis got clearer audio and some footage now. His hand started to go down to her bottom as usual, Janis definitely caught that on video. “Graham, like what you’re seeing?” Janis stepped inside, asking boldly. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Hand still on Regina but his head whipped around. “Oh, you too?” He smirked, Janis tried not to puke right then and there.

“Is that what you think? That I put this shirt on for you? No my girlfriend, not because I like the shirt?”

“Why else would you wear such a small top than to show off that rack?” He laughed lowly, “You expect me to believe that you wore it thinking no one would look? At all? Look at her! And look at you!”

“You’re a fucking pig, Graham. Burn in hell.” Janis spat, furious, pulling Regina closer to herself quickly.

“Sluts.”

“That’s what you say. That’s what people will hear.” Janis shrugs, “Farewell, dickhead. They’re gonna get you.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N:

Here it is, I hope it was okay. Take care of yourself anon! 🫂💗 thanks for your request, allowed me to challenge myself🥲

[erigold13261]

Dream last night. 7/19/2023

Dream started off with me as either a highschooler or a college student back at my old elementary school trying to do volunteer work. Or I was trying to see an old teacher. Maybe both. I was there with some friends (old friends in IRL, but in the dream we were actively friends), and they were supposed to also be volunteering.

We were gonna go outside with the kids to supervise them with the full time teachers, to make sure the kids were safe, but it was like cold outside from being winter so my friends were trying to tell me to not go out and just relax for the recess even though we literally came here to volunteer and help. Somehow I ended up doing both.

I was outside watching the kids, and it was somehow nice and sunny out, while also sitting in the lobby talking to the receptionist and holding the door open for people walking in so they can get signed in, and walking around the school library and cafeteria with my friends. I was going back and forth between the interactions for a bit before I stopped on watching the kids at recess.

From there, my dream shifted from me being an adult to being a kid. I wasn’t the same adult that turned into a kid, I was now a new kid that was in a city instead of a town. I had just come home from school like 20-30 minutes ago and was now playing with the other kids around my neighborhood and family (pretty sure they were cousins or at least really close family friends).

We were playing with a shadow demon for some reason. Like we were hiding from it and playing tag. It was just a shadow circle on the ground that grew shadow arms that became physical when giving us stuff. It would ask one of us kids what we wish for, juggle some shadow balls, and then hand us the item if it could make it (we usually asked for candy or maybe a simple toy, we were not getting like a phone from that thing). Then we would play a round and afterwards it would change to what the next kid wanted to play/wish for.

This went on for a bit before adults needed the shadow for something, so we had to say goodbye and go do something else. From here I turned into one of the adults, pretty sure she was the reason we had the shadow demon in the first place because that thing seemed to follow her around whenever not helping others or playing with the kids. 

The dream from this point turned into her/me helping adults out looking for something while the shadow took on a more humanoid look (it was like a tall figure in a cloak but still 2-dimensional and hanging on the walls and floor around me). I had to go out to get gas or something at a gas station and the shadow demon followed me as a circle, sometimes becoming physical in an animal shape or a humanoid shape to walk and talk with me. 

Something big happened at the gas station, I don’t know what. Either I was about to get attacked, the gas station was being robbed, I saw someone run up to me asking for help, something like that. My shadow helped out and then as we were leaving my sister said she couldn’t find our cat at all. We tried looking everywhere for him and couldn’t find him. 

My shadow ended up using its powers to locate our cat and somehow that piece of shit was like a whole city away from us and in some deep ass woods. My shadow turned into a horse (it was a fucked up looking horse with a really long neck, not like a giraffe but weirder) and I hopped on its back to head over to our cat. We had to climb like a mountain or big wall, go through a lot of trees, maneuver around cars and weird ass buildings at really high speeds, but we finally got to our cat and he was just sitting around like a little asshole. 

Pretty sure I woke up at this point, but basically we got the cat back and me and the shadow were dating. It went back to playing with the kids later on.

[coffeecatsandcandles]

AHHH your most recent one shot for parent-teacher conference is so heartwarming. May I ask, what would Bucky’s and Becca’s individual reaction if they found out that y/n’s preggo?

Surprise | Parent-Teacher Conference

➵ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | You fall sick one day, and the possibility that it could be something more than a little cold occurs to you.

➵ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | widowed!dad!teacher!bucky barnes x teacher!reader

➵ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | talk of pregnancy and fertility, a bit of a time jump so Rebecca is twelve, this is the PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE universe, refer to my masterlist if you have not read it and are interested! Sickness (talk of nausea and periods but nothing graphic). Mostly fluff.

დ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | დ 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | დ 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢

Rebecca had been begging for a little brother or sister- she wanted a brother, but she wasn’t going to complain if she got a sister- and you kept telling her that you weren’t sure if you and James were going to have another baby. You weren’t really planning on it- sure, it came up in conversation a few times, but you always just thought that Rebecca was enough. If you never ended up pregnant, you’d be okay with that because you had Rebecca. Maybe having kids just wasn't something you ever thought of, especially after teaching kindergarten. But Rebecca, your angel student whose father was a dream, was the one to change all that.

You had been more tired than normal. At first, you blamed it on your schedule change after changing your part-time university position to full-time. But then, you woke up and felt terrible, like you couldn’t get out of bed. It was rare for you to miss a day of teaching, and you especially didn’t want to make the wrong impression with your boss, like you couldn’t do the job you’d been begging to have for years. Luckily, she was understanding and wished for a speedy recovery.

James assumed you’d caught a bug, and he was adamant about staying home with you to take care of you.

“No, honey. Don’t stay home. Aren’t you starting your World War II unit today? I’ll be okay, I promise. I just need rest,” You said, voice groggy and head pounding.

“Alright, but you call me the second you need me, okay? I really hate leaving you all by yourself when you’re feeling like this.” James said as he made his way out the door, looking back at you every other second.

“I’ll be fine, trust me.” You giggled at his protectiveness. The idea of being pregnant hadn’t even occurred to you yet.

“Goddamn college kids, getting my wife sick,” you heard James mutter to himself. The seriousness in his tone made you laugh even harder.

Then you really thought about it- none of your students seemed sick. You hadn’t been around anyone who had been sick recently. That confused you even more- where in the world did this illness come from? You were always on top of your health, not feeling this bad in years.

You were deep in thought when you realized- you were late.

You’d been so busy with the transition part-time to full-time, you hadn’t even thought about it. It could’ve just been stress…

Or…

With a newfound energy, you sprung out of bed and grabbed your shoes. Finding the nearest pharmacy was the only thing on your mind.

Just to be sure, you thought.

It was kind of funny, you assumed the first thing you’d buy with your first paycheck with a new salary was going to be a nice dinner with James and Rebecca. It’d be your treat, maybe even a dessert to take home.

Instead, you bought the most accurate pregnancy test the pharmacy had to offer, along with a snack or two to hide the fact that you were buying a pregnancy test. What if a former student or co-worker were to see you? You’d never hear the end of it from them.

The denial of being pregnant soon faded into an excitement. You were almost hoping for it, despite not being prepared in the slightest. It was something Rebecca had been wanting for months now, her asking you at least once a week if you were going to give her a baby brother or sister. The kind of adamance only twelve-year-olds had.

Your phone buzzed as you sat on the bathroom floor, waiting for results. James’s name appeared on your screen.

I’ll ask Steve if he can take Bec home from school later.

You began typing immediately.

No, don't worry about it. I’m feeling a lot better.

You saw the typing bubble appear- you awaited for your husband’s response.

Are you sure? He won’t mind.

Before you could craft your response, your timer went off. Taking a deep breath to ease your pounding heart, you prepared yourself to see your results. You tried closing your eyes and talking to yourself, counting down from ten to help. A technique you used with your kindergarteners years ago, it still sometimes worked with you.

Ten, nine, eight…

It’s fine. Whatever happens, whatever results I get, it’ll be okay.

Seven, six, five…

If there’s no baby, I’ll be okay. If there is a baby, I’ll be okay.

Four, three…

I’ve wanted this, Rebecca has wanted this. James is such a great dad, he’d be so happy.

Two…

But if I’m not, it’s not the end of the world.

One.

Look. Just look and see for yourself. Whatever it says, it’ll be okay.

Your eyes opened and adjusted for a second, allowing you to read the tiny word.

Pregnant.

-

For the rest of the afternoon until you had to leave to pick up Rebecca, you were daydreaming about growing your beautiful family. You were pregnant- and still in some disbelief that you were actually going to have a baby with James.

As you drove to her school, you thought about Rebecca. How excited she was going to be once she found out. It’d have to be a while, just to be on the safe side. But still- you knew she was going to be over the moon.

Rebecca hopped into your car, strapping herself into the backseat. “You’re not sick anymore!”

She noticed.

“Yeah, it just went away. Dad wanted Uncle Steve to pick you up, but I told him I was feeling better.”

“Mr. Parker said that starting next week we’re going to be learning about planets. He said that earth has tectonic plates.” she said, proud she pronounced the big word correctly.

You smiled. When you heard a former student of yours was going to be Rebecca’s seventh grade science teacher, the last person you expected was Peter Parker. He’d grown to be a nice young man, and he hugged you with excitement at that first parent-teacher meeting, remembering you immediately. He’d changed drastically since the last time you saw him- he used to be the student in the back of the class with his hood on, and you were never sure if he was paying attention during lectures. He proved you wrong though, as he never got anything below an A on his tests. 

The hood- he never took that thing off, that is, until after James yelled at him that one afternoon. And you yelled at him back.

The student who brought you and James together was all grown up now, and it excited you and made you feel ancient at the same time. 

“Well, how about we make some cupcakes when we get home? After homework of course,” you said.

Rebecca beamed- baking with you was one of her favorite things to do, but it was only saved for super special occasions. After nodding, she pried. “Did something happen?”

“Why do you ask?”

“We never bake unless something happens. Something good.”

You thought about it, and she had a point. The cookies you made when you got the university job, the cupcakes you made on your fifth wedding anniversary, hell, you even made a blueberry pie when James got tenured at Westview. “I’m… I’m just… glad to not be sick anymore.”

Rebecca squinted, as if she didn’t believe you. “Alright, mom,” she teased, “but only if it’s strawberry cupcakes.”

“What other flavor would they be?” You smiled and winked, soon pulling into the driveway of your home. James must’ve arrived not too long ago, as his car was in the driveway.

Upon entering the home, you found James already started on dinner: a simple spaghetti with meat sauce, and some homemade garlic bread.

Smells you used to love… until now.

That first waft of ground beef with garlic put your stomach in knots. Nausea suddenly hit you and it felt like the room was spinning.

But you had to act like everything was okay, because if James or Rebecca suspected that something was wrong even for a second, the whole surprise would be ruined.

“Yes! Garlic bread!” Rebecca exclaimed, setting down her backpack in the front room and running to give her father a hug.

“Hey sweet pea,” James said to Becca, who was now nearly at his shoulders.

Your mouth was salivating, and not in a good way. Trying to wipe the sweat from your brow, you spoke. “Hey, don’t forget your homework. Otherwise, no cupcakes,”

Becca returned to her backpack, pulling out a textbook and folder. She then made her way to the kitchen table to start her work.

James found you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your forehead. Every soreness and nauseating feeling you had before finding out about your pregnancy came back then, only ten times stronger.

“You okay?” James asked, noticing you were in a cold sweat. You really took for granted those few hours where you were feeling alright.

You could feel your stomach churn, knowing that things would take a turn for the worst if you didn’t say something right now.

“James,” you croaked, trying to muster up the strength to talk, “I need to lie down,”

Within a millisecond, James was guiding you to the couch, his hand on the small of your back in case you lost your balance.

“What’s wrong? I thought you were feeling better,” he asked as he laid you down, his voice low. The kind of tone he rarely used. A tone that said, Becca can’t hear this, we don’t want to scare her.

“Oh, Jamie,” you whined, your voice low, “I wanted to surprise you after dinner, and then I took one whiff of the spaghetti and I felt like I was going to vomit.”

James furrowed his brows, “Surprise me?”

You didn’t like that you couldn’t have that magical moment in telling him; that you just had to be too sick to stand up. But you remembered your wedding vows.

That no matter what, James would always be there for you, in sickness and in health.

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered. 

James’s eyes widened. “You’re what?” he asked, trying to keep his voice low. Almost like it was a protective instinct, He rubbed his nose against yours, pressing his forehead against yours to be as close as possible- like he was guarding you and the baby from the world.

“That’s why I’ve been so sick. I took a test and it was positive,”

Instead of responding verbally, he kissed all over your face. Breathy chuckles and teary eyes emerged from both of you. For a moment, you’d forgotten all about Rebecca, who was sitting at the kitchen table not too far away.

“Oh my god,” James muttered, clearly emotional. He wrapped his arms around you, continuing to kiss all over your face and then your stomach.

James was ecstatic- he’d always wanted another baby. His wife had talked about wanting a big family, and though he was a bit anxious about the whole “becoming a father” ordeal at first, after Rebecca was born, he realized that he loved being a dad. Rebecca was his whole world, and you were giving him another baby who would also become a huge part of him. And though he didn’t want to make predictions or bets, he was hoping for another girl.

“What is going on?” Rebecca laughed, unsure of how to react to this sudden burst of excitement from her parents. The twelve-year-old set down her pencil and looked curiously at her parents, still cuddling, laughing, and crying on the couch.

You shared a look with James. Was it too early to tell her? What if there was a shift in her behavior and she no longer wanted a sibling?

You figured, Rebecca had been wanting this for so long. The least you could do was tell her as quickly as you told James.

“Becca- I found out why I’ve been so sick.”

“Why?” she asked.

You glanced at James, just as excited as you. “We’re having another baby,”

Rebecca gasped, leaped up from her seat to engulf you in a hug, “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!” She exclaimed.

“Easy,” James said to Rebecca, worried her hug was too forceful and tight.

“I’m so excited- I’m finally going to be a big sister,” Rebecca said, and you noticed the happy tears begin to brim her eyes.

“I’m excited too, and hey,” you said, pulling away from the hug briefly, “I don’t want you to think that I love you any less than I love this baby. You’re my baby too, and just because I’m not your real mom doesn’t mean that changes how much I love you, okay?”

Rebecca nodded, returning to the hug and pulling James in. Your perfect family was growing, and you couldn’t be happier.

The feeling of warmth overtook you. Though you were a little anxious of what the future held, you knew you could do it, because you had your husband and daughter by your side. You knew they would go to the ends of the world for you, and now this baby- and that made your heart soar, to know you were bringing another person into the world that would be just like them.