#but when cis-het are around I'm bisexual and cis

[utilitycaster]

Unpopular opinion: parts of the cr fandom are really dismissive/ reductive of Travis’s characters. It feels like it’s due to Travis being seen as THE cis het man of the group, and by extension his characters must be heteronormative and bad, despite the fact that you could have queer interpretations of his characters. At the very least, Travis’s characters explore masculinity and the different ways it might look. It’s like the people who are all “ew men are gross and shitty” and act like that’s an absolutely normal reaction to a man just existing.

So this is another one in that I agree with the initial statement, but I'm actually not sure re: the reasoning why. I think it's possible but I could not tell you for sure.

I used to, again, think this was people carrying through Campaign 1 elements well beyond the point where C1 had ended, and so Grog having an intelligence of 6 was being applied to Travis; and this definitely does come through to an extent when people treat Fjord (objectively as smart as Beau without her circlet) as stupid or act shocked that Chetney is the brains of Bells Hells or that he can play a Cerrit, Fjord, or Nathaniel. However, again, I think this is one of those opinions that pops up among people who weren't around for Campaign 1 (or early enough in C2 to be exposed to it regularly) so I don't know if that's the case anymore. It could still be - it could be that Approved Fandom Opinions get passed down even when the logic behind them has long since been lost; that's a really common thing in institutional memory. But I can't say for sure.

I also have in the past credited it to, as you said, people assuming his characters are the cishet guys and then writing them off. That's still possible - I've seen both Fjord and Chetney called "token straight" despite considerable evidence of bisexuality, and they also paradoxically are both commonly headcanoned as trans while still getting called "token straight," which sort of ties into a post I would need to find from someone else from quite some time ago about which cast members are granted agency by the fandom in their choices vs. which are assumed to be the victims of circumstance. And I do think that there are people in fandom who have decided men are icky or whatever, and I used to think this came from a place of bigotry and a slide towards t*rf ideology but I now do genuinely think it's just idiots who don't grant interiority to characters outside their own limited understanding.

But I think it's also useful to consider a few things, most of which I've brought up before:

Travis is extremely offline. He is not here to entertain your headcanons; he has been politely but openly dismissive of some (imo, really fucking dumb) fanon/fan theories. I think the cast frequently talks about how it's their table, and I think that's valid and correct, but Travis is one of the players who lives it the most. He is playing this game with his friends, and he'd like it to be a good story, but if you don't like it, he is not here to make you like it. I think that really fucks with the parasocial connections some people desire with the cast.

Travis's characters tend to examine masculinity as a performance but also the general performance of the self, and the fact that you cannot in the end control how you are perceived entirely, and I think that really unsettles people who have equated presentation with reality and are again, looking for external validation of the self.

Travis can play it big but he's often extremely subtle, especially with his more serious characters, and he's not as easily quotable out of context as some others at the table. I think because he is a lot more naturalistic than dramatic at times (Chetney notwithstanding) and isn't as pithy and quotable in his characters as many of Taliesin's PCs are, and a lot of the strength is in the delivery, he gets overlooked despite being very good with words on the fly.

And finally: this would be a whole post on its own but people are still very foolishly wed to this idea that pressing the big red button in D&D is Wild and Chaotic and haha Big ADHD Man when it's actually how you play D&D if you're not a coward; the button is where the story is stored, and a lot of Travis's strength is that he is extremely good at understanding what the GM wants and supporting it with sufficient grace that it's only visible if you know what you're fucking doing.

[gemmahale]

Here's the thing. I'm in a red state, in a county that went red.

I knew that when I moved out here four years ago. (Yes, it was April 2020 and no, I do not recommend moving during a global pandemic.) I accepted that that would be part of it. I made my peace with it, and I do what I can to mitigate the effects.

I'm not scared for me (minus the bodily autonomy thing since my state now has a 12 week abortion ban, and the general fuckery of facists in power) because tbh, I'm white and cis-het passing.

I'm nonbinary and bisexual. Can't tell any of that unless I tell you, and I don't make it well well known. I use she/her at work, wear skirts and dresses, and respond to Mrs/Ms Gemma or Hale (actually folks use my legal first or last name 😉); though Dr. is preferred if I get the choice.

I fly under the radar as a quirky white woman. I'm relatively "protected."

In the wake of the election results rolling out, I'm apprehensive for:

Kallen, who is white-passing Cherokee and a disabled veteran. I've been party to how he's treated differently than I am - by the same checker at the store not more than 5 minutes apart. He moved out here after I established my career, so he had little to no input of where we moved to (other than "I want to be with you.")

My coworkers who already face harassment for being POC in the community (including foreign exchange students that come to do part of their PhD here because of the proximity to the university system). People have been chased out of their positions here due to the racism they've experienced.

My coworkers who would seek to have an abortion (I'm included in this myself).

The LGBTQ+ community here (remember - I'm not out out).

The immigrant and POC communities here

And folks beyond my immediate viscinity

A lot of the community operates on a "mind your shit" basis. But I have to look people in the eye with Trump 2024 caps on and answer their questions politely. I have to drive by trucks with religious bumper stickers and greet them and give them scientifically sound information.

I wanted to believe in a world that valued competency and skill; and then I remember: I was the only one that applied to this job in the boondocks, and we've struggled to get positions filled out here. And I know part of it is not because of the low cost of living or lack of proximity to major shopping centers/social options. 🙃

I'm poking around into what local groups I can get into and donate my time to. My job puts me in direct access with food security resources, so that's probably where I'll start. Perhaps tie into the LGBTQ community because I know there's an active group out here. (I want to get more involved in the community anyway.)

I have to swallow this fear I have of being connected to causes while in my position. Yes, my employer is technically neutral ground, but that doesn't mean I have to be. I am allowed to be civically involved, as long as I make it clear when I am working in a work capacity (branded gear, name tag, etc.) and as a private citizen.

I admittedly got spooked when I received a few letters (to my private address, mind you) stating that I was a poor representative of my institution because I didn't maintain my yard like I should when I first started. (It was a whole thing and got escalated up higher than it needed to and yeah. I still have those letters in my office.)

But folks are starting to know me, and I'm starting to know them too. I need to cast this fear I have aside and be true to my values - accessibility, inclusivity, equity, and justice.

[neutrallyobsessed]

Do you have any headcannons of abe from clone high? Most of mine are angsty because of my trauma projecting onto him but I headcannon he's autistic, transfem and closeted bisexual

You seem to be opposite me with yo' angsty hcs and certain disregard of canon. But that's aight, I support playing with the characters like dollies, whichever way it may be~~

For me, working with what I'm familiar with and the sake of simplicity, I have Abe in the default cis-het settings and thinking of mental health things is the opposite of simple so I omit it as well

But also, at the top of my head....... well, he's not exactly in my mind all the time so i don't have anything thought out really. Abe is a pretty well-rounded... uhh well-squared character so its not easy to find empty spaces to fill with one's own interpretation so I'll try my best^^:

His Lincoln Collection started with (excluding currency) commemorative pins and weird string marionettes.

And after 20 years there's a lot more to catch up!!

Abe is the only one to still have like, pictures of Gandhi, things to remember him by.

Which is why he's the only one who remembers Gandhi by name and all.

And yes, he's most likely to be first in finding him (i just don't know how yet xd)

He has the habit of putting people in either pedestals or specific roles (Gandhi is the funny friend, Joan is the serious girl friend, Cleo is the serious girlfriend) and can get quite upset when they don't do what he expects them to do

But he never verbalizes this beyond a "You're not acting like yourself!"

He got that Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney vibes ngl. Overly attachted and willing to die for those he loves. Quite literally for his detriment. And the kinda bitchy inner monologue ;vv

But not the Attorney part. Topher showed him that he could not be able to defend someone who is either guilty or lying about not being guilty.

He likes lighthouses but he could never become an operator, too lonely of a job for him who seems to enjoy social interactions (even if he's bad at it xd)

So idk what he'd do for a living but I imagine Gandhi could be there

My mind is going to trains actually x3

I like the cat-lover idea. I'll include it in my system of beliefs.

He likes pussy lol, that's pretty straight guy behavoir ngl xdd

Music between the 50s and 70s enjoyer. Sounds that are perky and fun and great to dance to!

He also collects coins~! It did start with Lincoln faces and now has over 100 coins not just from the US but many other countries too!

Not all that good with geography tho, prolly not able to point in a map where each coin belongs to lol

Been thinking of the Joanpher future (hi anon who asked bout it, tis gonna be a long one too) and how Abe is gonna be relevant again there so here some tidbits to fill that space xd

There are 2 timelines: One with a MaryAbe end and one with a FridAbe end

I don't have much planned out but Fridabe happens when they're 20 but she dies around her 50s

And I haven't figured out when Abe becomes a ghost with Mary but it does happend and they have an open relationship of sorts cause they need souls to survive and it apperantly works in succubus/inccubus ways

He likes freaky, slutty girls, that's kinda canon tbh lmaooo

I hope this improvised rambling satisfies you ♥

[tirfpikachu]

Omg the post about 'a lesbian could be attracted to a man if they're very special' reminded me of something that happened.

I go to a club and one of the girls who went there recently split from her BF, and apparently he wasn't very nice. She said she had only ever dated women until that point and before that she thought she was a lesbian. The girl's friend said well he did catfish you.

Turns out, the girl had met him on a dating app when he was identifying as a trans woman and he basically 'detransitioned' the moment they started dating.

So this girl's friend is going well, you are a lesbian, and then the girl goes, really quietly, well no, I guess I'm bi? Girl's friend: no, you're a lesbian.

Like, I'm holding my tongue because I'm bi. I've never dated a man (nor do I intend to), but I still find them attractive, so I'm bi. And this girl was genuinely attracted to her bf, but her friend was adamant she was still a lesbian and I'm just... if I can openly say I'm bi without any intention of dating the opposite sex, and never having done so, then what's the issue here?

It was so awkward, like the girl was clearly uncomfortable about it.

THAT'S SO AWKWARD WTF ????????????

like bruh if you're attracted to Just Some Dude who isn't even presenting as transfem anymore... you're bi as hell. if you've genuinely been attracted to a guy or an omab person who isn't presenting as female or even aligning with women socially... you're not a lesbian. febfem sexuality should honestly be more normalized. it's okay to choose to only date one side or the other! it doesn't make you any less bi. that's legit just biphobic rhetoric. people don't CHOOSE to be gay based on finding one side annoying or smth. gays legit are incapable of being attracted to either the opposite sex or people who present as the opposite sex, within reason ofc. and even then that's still technically a bisexual experience in the bi = both sexes definition, and not a homosexual experience unless you can't tell at all the person's sex... which imo is pretty unlikely once you learn the person is trans, there's usually certain features & behaviors that give it away once you look closer that might or might not affect your attraction. but yeah, saying that you can straight up be into someone who presents 100% as male and STILL be a lesbian is unhinged.

like the "well the person is transfem" as an excuse doesn't even apply?? that blows my mind. i would even, very controversially, have given people some leeway on the whole being technically bi/into both sexes yet only being into bio/cis men & transmascs (or bio/cis women & transfems) thing... like in a way that's being into both sexes but also only being into gay-passing relationships, which is a really unique experience. it technically still falls under bisexuality, but imo it's still a close cousin experience to gayness. honestly if the whole "bi lesbian" thing had been only about people who are technically bisexual in the dictionary definition of the term but are only capable to be attracted to people presenting as female or male and only date in a gay-presenting way, i wouldn't have had an issue with it since transness can make sexuality quite complicated. they would still face homophobia, including about them not being into het-presenting relationships. as long as they had been respectful abt homosexuals i wouldn't have cared. but alas, "bi lesbian" is for a rly stupid reason...

that "friend" is just pushing biphobic & lesbophobic rhetoric. i hope you can have a good convo with her and reassure her that if she was ever into a guy, a male person that's 100% male-presenting, she is extremely bisexual. there's just no way around it. even with the transfem identity, i'll see 100% male-passing transfems try to get with lesbians and it drives me fucking crazy. it's disrespectful af!!

[silicon-tmblr]

What are some Sexuality headcanons you have for danganronpa

Ohhhh I have so much to say you have no idea

I'll go with my DRV3 post-game headcanons because that's generally what I think about!

Shuichi: Disaster bi. I recently had the thought that he'd actually be awesome as nonbinary, but I feel like he's the type to realize that in his mid 30s or something

Kaito: Bigger disaster bi than Shuichi somehow. I like to think that, while he's iffy/confused about gay people, he accepts trans people without a thought (he's just like "oh you're actually a guy/girl! okay") and just demands that they "act like their gender" bahaha

Ryoma: I know this is a controversial thing to say but. Straight. cis/het. But he's like the biggest and nicest ally ever because well his entire friend group is very queer

Rantaro: I don't see this enough!!!! Aro/ace Rantaro!!! His love hotel is literally him being a tutor with no romantic or sexual undertones!!!! His character concept is probably "playboy with no interest in romance"!! But yeah aro/ace, romance and sex-repulsed

Gonta: Probably pan, but fairly heteronormative. I feel like he gets married in middle age because he's really not searching for a relationship for most of his life and more busy enjoying his hobbies!

Kokichi: Obviously very gay! I generally have him as a trans guy who, due to some shenanigans that happened in his childhood, thought he was a cis guy (until puberty hit and he had to figure out why he was freaking bleeding). Ironically, I like to call him "the cissest of cis guys" haha

Korekiyo: Ace! Not looking for a romantic relationship but I like to think he has a strong platonic partnership with Tenko

Keebo: Aro/ace, romance-positive and sex-neutral. He doesn't experience romantic or sexual attraction but is totally open to a romantic relationship. Intersex and he/him nonbinary, but he generally keeps it to himself and only tells people he trusts

Kirumi: Gay gay lesbian gay. She loves GL (Girl's love genre) but keeps it a secret

Himiko: Aromantic and bisexual! She tends more towards girls than guys

Maki: PSA Maki is gay and was straightwashed when they put her in Danganronpa 53. I mean, Tsumugi really said "I made you fall in love with a guy for plot!" I like to think Maki gets out of DRV3 and her first thought is "why was I straight" (for legal reasons this is a joke and bi Maki believers are based but. gay maki)

Tenko: Bi Tenko bi Tenko I KNOW people insist she's a lesbian (and you people are based) buuut I think even in Danganronpa Tenko is bi. People don't choose who they're attracted to, so her being raised to hate men doesn't mean she can't be attracted to them! Okay that's my ted talk about bi tenko

Tsumugi: Her orientation is none of your business (is what she will say, but I will expose her as the bisexual she is)

Angie: Pan! Kinda heteronormative but she learns not to be

Miu: Pan. I think she would meet someone on the internet that she clicks super well with and then they fly out to meet each other and get married

Kaede: Lesbian! So lesbian. I will insist forever that she isn't actually interested in Shuichi and is just super awkward around him because she doesn't want to lead him on when she's gay

That's it for V3! I don't have as many for the other games, mostly since I'm not as interested in or familiar with them (I like to joke that V3 has the gayest cast and everyone in DR2 is straight (obviously untrue, the irrefutable evidence: Nagito)), but here's a few I like:

Chiaki: Trans girl! She's also straight bahaha

Hiyoko: I used to think she'd be the type to act homophobic "as a joke" but then I realized she's super gay. She'd probably still act homophobic though

Nagito: Bi, for the sole reason of: I think he should date Chiaki

Akane: Seems ace!

Mahiru: I think she's straight, but she's a total lesbian magnet

Hajime: Bi (duh). Cursed to be maidenless

Chihiro: Nonbinary, he/they in conversation but always they/them in writing

Junko: This lady is very heterosexual and cisgender

Mukuro: Bi

Makoto: Bi

I also like to joke that all the girls in DR1 are straight and all the boys in DR1 are gay because everyone is in love with Makoto (obviously false because there are some very gay girls and not so gay dudes)

[beetlejuce]

I might be spiralling so uh. Gender/sexuality vent under the cut, all 1,000+ words of it.

When I first came out to my family as trans FTM at around 13, it didn't work out in the end due to reaching a plateau following social transition and a haircut, coming from my parents not supporting me and my hesitation. I was beginning to explore my attraction to men. I learned to love men the way gay men love men because of this, because I saw myself as a boy at the time, so that's just the way things flowed.

Because of the complex relationship I've had with my gender identity since adolescence there will always be something queer about the essence of my attraction to men, no matter how it manifests. As of right now, I don't feel an urgency to change anything about my body to make it less feminine/more masculine. Am I dysphoric? I don't know, it's past midnight, so I don't exactly trust how I feel about myself now. If I were stranded on a desert island I'd be chill with what I've got, as of February 2025.

But still... post-desisting, while I did what felt most authentic to my own self, I have a lot of woes about my role as someone who appears and functions primarily as a cis(❓)het(❌) woman. I won't lie, there is comfort in the privilege of being seen as such, and not having to deal with the brunt of being visibly LGBT in a conservative state. Had I continued my transition in Part 2 Electric Boogaloo of coming out as trans again last year, my life would have been infinitely harder. I'd lose my extended family, the respect of my peers, and my entire livelihood.

But there is part of me, something so visceral, raw, and impassioned, about the way I love men, and my connections to the way men love each other. It can be oh so tender. It can be downright filthy. I find something so beautiful about it that runs so much deeper, in a way that I can't even put into words. It is nothing like what I've observed of how straight cis women are attracted to men. I don't think I'm a man, but I so badly wish I could experience gay love. As someone who's lived as a trans man for developmental parts of my life, I was more deeply entrenched in gay male culture, community, customs, and history than anything close to straight "culture." If by culture, proudly unwashed man-ass, Crocs with socks, and women becoming their boyfriends' mothers count as such. I hate it. So much. I have never felt more alienated by anything, ever, than when I think about cisheteronormative standards of what a relationship should be like. How men and women should look. Conventional norms of how women should act. I want absolutely nothing to do with it. All the games men and women play with each other, the expectations. Oh my god. Literal. Hell. The average cishet men of my generation are also just fucking pigs, and I feel doomed when I imagine myself ending up with one forever. I'm sure you get what I'm hinting at if you've made it this far (why?). I want nothing to do with it, but alas, that IS the gender I am attracted to. On the other hand, I couldn't relate to lesbian culture either, or at least not entirely. I do relate to gay (male) culture though, in a way that is near and dear to my heart. Every piece of pain gay/bi men feel for who they love is another knife to the heart for me, it feels like an attack on them like an attack on myself. I've always felt a pull towards man-loving notions of loving and attraction to men. I am a woman. Well.

By dictionary definitions and societal standards, I function like a regular-degular cishet woman. I'm okay with being perceived as a woman currently, as I go with what feels right at the moment, a fact that has proved itself to be clear since 2016. People can't usually tell what a disaster my relationship with gender has been over the years just by looking at me. And while I do consider myself bisexual, I also, admittedly, have a streak of being boy-crazy. In practice, I am the eeeeevil stereotype of "bisexual girl who isn't actually that into women" that everyone got up in arms about when that Who Is Truly Allowed At Pride Parades And Chappell Roan Concerts discourse happened last year.

So like, I'm losing regardless. Is it too much to want genuine connection to a guy with a kind heart? Oh, that's right, every man I end up liking is either taken or GAY.

There's a reason why I'd never dare to admit this to the cis gay men I do know. They'd look at me like I was insane and told them I have 7 nipples, which, 1/2. I've seen how horrible some can be about trans men, genderqueer people, and feminine gays in the gay community, I don't feel the need to justify shit and prove myself. I just am. There is no acceptable way of explaining why I feel the way I do about men because this fact is mine and my own only. It doesn't even make sense to me, so why would it make sense to someone who's likely never had to introspect on their identity in their life?

Am I just like, a genderfucky girlfag? Can I even say that? Am I queering and overcomplicating something as simple as liking dudes? Did I fry my brain with AO3? Whatever. I need to date a bisexual artsy dude with weird pronouns. Get yelled at for feeling more "myself" when around queer men. Ogle guys' pits and fall asleep thinking about jockstraps and eating male ass like literally none of the other straight girls that have ever existed, ever. In the history of ever.

Y'know what it is? After rereading this bullshit? I need healthier, wholesome examples of what M/F relationships can look like, because my GOD it is bleak. I still love like this though.

[ephyra-jelly]

questioning my sexuality (need help please!!)

hey guys so I literally haven't posted in forever but I'm in need of some sexuality help and I figured tumblr would be the best place for that

A lil background info: So I'm a she/they cis girl I think? (I've also questioned if I'm nonbinary a lot before) and basically I've identified as bisexual for a while now but I'm genuinely questioning that. I've dated both men and women (mainly men bc there's no queer women around here 😔) but I just feel like weird whenever I'm in a relationship. I've questioned if I'm aro and/or ace (quite a few times 😭) but I'm not sure I really resonate with that.

Now more about my attraction: As stated before, I've dated men and women. Whenever I'm in a relationship I just feel like weird. I don't like being touched or touching someone else, even if I'm dating them. Holding hands is fine I guess but I don't really like hugging and I hate kissing and feel so gross when I do it. I can't ever imagine myself taking it further than that yk but I'm fine doing stuff by myself (sorry if that's too tmi but I feel like that's important when talking about my attraction 😭) So idk if I'm just scared of intimacy or something?? I also can't imagine myself being with a man long term. Like if I were to ever get married it would be with a woman. Maybe I'm just a comp-het lesbian? But I also wouldn't wanna do anything super intimate with a girl either.

Idk I'm like very confused 😭 idk if anyone will really see this or even care or try to give advice or something. This was more of a rant if anything 😭

[mirrorsforeyes]

i have got to become a gender conforming cis hetero at this point

when you're around fellow queers and gays, it's the constant jokes and shaming about the "reddit bisexuals" who are into femboys or whatever and talking as if it's morally wrong or something for a male-attracted person to not be necessarily attracted to masculine gender expression. like NO i would NOT kiss a guy with a beard. and? are you saying i have to? are you going to force me to do it? those ppl think that i'm doing something wrong in my sexuality and it doesn't fit with my gender.

when you're around cis and straight people, it's my sexuality being completely disregarded due to my gender expression and ppl thinking that I'm just a cis gay, and that me enjoying feminine gender expression for myself naturally means that i must be into burly hairy manly men, because fem ppl are into masc ppl every time, right??? and having to hear the het girls who complain about men and masculinity all day also saying that they wouldn't date a "fag". those ppl think that i'm doing something wrong with my gender and it doesn't fit with my sexuality.

i need to give up. there's no place for me in the world as what i am.

[escapist-corner]

identity rant

Being bisexual and greysexual is a little frustrating sometimes...

On the one hand, many times I feel like I'm not gay enough when I'm out and about with my cis-het male partner, which is ridiculous, because I know I'm still bi. But I worry that I should somehow be presenting in a certain way? I'm a private person and I know I don't owe anybody an explanation about who I am, but that can sometimes feel like I'm hiding my sexuality???? Ughhhh. And that's not counting the weird feeling I get when some people just assume I'm trying to attract attention and I'm not actually bi because I'm dating a guy??

And then, when I'm comfortable enough with the fact that I'm on the asexual spectrum and I share it, some people will jump at the opportunity to tell me that I'm just:

stressed

confused

wrong

overthinking

...and I just wanna scream or just nod and filter out the nonsense. Like, how many gay panics and self-reflection do I have to do for people to just accept/believe me?

I don't know, sometimes it's frustrating when people around me negate both my bisexuality and asexuality and tell me that I'm just confused. Maybe that should be my identity: c o n f u s e d. I should create a new flag. And slap pigheaded people with it.

[hxhhasmysoul]

Hi.....Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

No, there's nothing weird about it. We all change over time and our tastes change too.

I also prefer queer romance and don't look for media with het stuff at all. I don't mind it being there but it's not something I would go out there to look for.

For me it's obviously a function of my own queerness to some extent. I'm bisexual* and I could technically form something that'd look like a "straight relationship", I've been considering abandoning having a gender entirely recently, but if I ever tried to have a relationship again, I wouldn't even try going on a date with a cis het. Like most of them are just so far fucking removed from what I want from life and what I'm interested in, especially those close to my age. And part of it is the whole societal expectations and cultural conventions related to het relationships. I've recently been forced by capitalism to get a corpo job and I interact with normies much more than I used to and it's fucking daunting. I have yet to meet a queer in person in that job. Like I know they exist, I've interacted with them online a little, but my team and the people on my floor I've heard talk thus far seem to be very painfully straight. Like very much about that cis het life. The het life progression: education, job, marriage, property, kids, rat race, it's all they want to talk about. They all get kinda silent and have these expressions of "yikes it's one of those what should I do how should I behave" when there's any hint that I'm queer.

But my point is, their life is very much like the het life in the media and I have no interest in that kind of life. I find it deeply unappealing and media that show relationships like that are boring to me. I've seen enough of them in my life and when I interact with media that have the same w|m story beats and cliches, I just shrug.

I want to see different stories, stories I can relate to more. Or at least stories that don't follow those tired tropes. Stories that will show me something new. And maybe you're drawn to them because there's some kind of queerness in you too, be it same sex attraction, or no attraction, or gender shenanigans.

But maybe you're perfectly cis het, anon, so you're not like me who wants to enjoy media that has people more like me in them. But maybe you don't want the cis het life the het media offer, the cis het life that mirrors the shitty cis het relationships people around you may have. Relationships where you're not sure if the parties like each other, relationships that feel like they have nothing in common apart from a mortgage and a couple of kids and the fear of shame that in their mind would come from divorce.

The queer relationships in the media and also often in real life are built on other things than the cis het ones because there aren't really strong societal expectations for them, or cultural conventions. So they are built on more singular grounds. And even if they are weird and toxic in the media or real life, there's always this strong element of relating to the queerness of one another. The connection and the intensity is different than in the typical het relationships and that might appeal to you.

But maybe you just find such media fun and there isn't any deeper meaning to it. Maybe it's what you're aesthetic sense find most pleasing and experiencing beauty is important for our well being as humans.

Basically enjoy what you enjoy. The things you like are not a reflection of you as a person. Maybe there is some deeper reason why you're drawn to them but maybe there isn't. Have fun with what you like!

____

* as in I'm attracted to every gender equally and I don't care about the body shape but I'm also old and bisexual was the first word I learned for that and I'm sticking with it, also all people identifying as pansexual I've met were kinda dodgy, plus the bi flag has better colours

[the-lady-writes-what]

How did you find out that you're a lesbian? /gen you don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable

TLDR at the bottom if this essay is too much

It's not an uncomfortable question at all. Thank you for asking. So me coming out as lesbian is a really long story about 30 years in the making. I guess I was socially programmed into thinking I was straight for most of my life by the outside world. I didn't grow up in a religious household or anything but at the same time I didn't have any understanding of gay, straight, bi, pan, etc. I did, however, grow up in the 90's and early 2000's where LGBTQ+ presentation wasn't, you know, great. I was conditioned by the media around me, which was cis het (and mostly white) 99.9% of the time, to think that straight and me being straight was what everyone was doing and normal with no deviations whatsoever.

Flash forward to my high school years, more specifically sophomore and junior year. I tended to have a lot of boy crushes and looking back on it now, I'd say it had more to do with seeking male attention and validation because of Daddy Issues. This was now the early 2010's where there was this trend with everyone and their weird aunt coming out as bisexual. I had this friend who I used to be close with and I thought I had feelings for her on a romantic level. Having no real established knowledge or understanding of what bisexual meant or being queer or gay, I just went with it. Add into the mix a heady mixture of teenage hormones, emotionally unfulfilled home life, and religion, and you have a disaster. By the time I was a sophomore, I had converted to Catholicism of my own free will and ironically because of a lesbian. Trying to be "good" Catholic and having a girlfriend conflicted, so I broke it off. In retrospect, that might have been a good thing because this friend developed a codependency on me and stalked me on Facebook a couple times after I ended the friendship when one too many lies and inconsistencies became too much for me to handle (and also because she was not the emotional support I needed).

Between high school graduation and college, I dated a number of people. I had three romantic partners, one boyfriend and two partners who later came out as transwomen. Between all that time, I kinda hated myself. I would date someone for a few months and then break up because of something I couldn't define. I was there in the present, but couldn't see a future with that partner. I felt like something was wrong with me and my sexuality was broken. In my early 20's, I discovered asexuality and thought "oh. maybe this is why the way I am." Asexuality became my identity. Dating and sleeping with men no longer was a priority for me. Aside from this one partner who I dated off and on for about...10 years, I didn't feel the need to date men. I eventually stopped being Catholic around 2019 and then COVID happened.

I spent 2020-2021 doing a lot of introspection. I noticed things that I hadn't before about my behavior and reactions when socializing with the same or opposite gender. I realized that it has always been easier for me to talk to women than men, and not just because of my issues with my dad. Oh. Okay, then. Maybe I'm asexual but have romantic feelings for women and men? I can date women if I wanted to, I don't have to sleep with them. And over the next couple years more and more pieces of the puzzle fell into place. I started reading wlw fantasy books. I've always been excited to see two people or two characters of every persuasion find love. I love love. But when I read "The Tiger's Daughter" by K. Arsenault Rivera and "The Jasmine Throne" by Tasha Suri, I felt a deeper connection to those romances on an emotional level. It was something deeper than being excited about love, it was something more akin to longing, as in "wow. i wish i could have that." This was not the same response I have to cis het couples.

Then, I had to look back on my interests. I realized that most of the men I lusted after were all fictional. Shouta Aizawa, Sesshomaru, Hawks, Loki, etc, none of them were real. I never thought about a male celebrity in that light. High school crushes are very different from having adult feelings, so I can say that I've never had the same feelings for men in the same way I have for Aizawa. There's only been one or two exceptions to the rule, but I've never imagined actually sleeping or falling in love with Tom Hiddleston. He's just very good looking and I like Loki. How I talk about male celebrities I like for their looks and female celebrities is very different.

Example

Tom Hiddleston: Wow. He's super handsome.

Markliplier (youtuber): Wow. He's super handsome, funny, AND he has a great personality. His girlfriend is so lucky.

Florence Welch, existing:

Me: Beautiful. Amazing. Talented. Stunning. Goddess, I worship at your feet. I want to drink from the same cup of wine that graced your lips and dance with you at midnight under the full moon....

You get the picture.

There are other examples that I looked at. Interest in Greek mythology especially anything to do with goddesses or female characters (of course, Artemis was my favorite, because GAY, though i have moved on to Athena and Aphrodite). I was always more interested in female characters in books. Lack of interest in sex with cis men. My favorite poem is "The Goblin Market" by Christina Rossetti, which has some very queer/lesbian undertones for a Victorian poem. I have a strong aversion to resembling as a male stereotypes, though I'm still trying to work on being less aggressive. The list is probably longer than this. Oh, and I have a Pinterest board made up of 581 and counting pictures of Florence Welch, and there is no heterosexual explanation for that.

All this came to a head in November and December last year. I had been discussing this with my friend (who I had also dated before she came out as trans) and my sister, who is a decent ally. In December 2022, I had no other choice but to admit to myself that after 30 years that I was not at all straight. The problem was that I had to wait to come out until a little later because at the time my uncle was very sick and died a week before Christmas. Coming out of the closest last year as soon as I realized it was not a good idea. I came out to my sister and my friend in January and I've been getting used to the identity ever since. Sorry this is a fucking biography but I tend to be very verbose and take a long time to explain anything.

TLDR: American society conditioned me into thinking I was straight for most of my 30 yrs of life, but that was incorrect because women are pretty and I'm in love with Florence Welch.

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

Now that Kelli has been gone for a bit, I feel like I can get this off my chest: Wolf Productions done fucked up.

Not for the first time, and not right from square one. But gosh, what a waste.

Kelli Giddish's Rollins was the only female character with the depth and acting chops behind her on the show since Cabot was a regular. She showed up and was able to go toe to toe with Mariska in carrying episodes - both personally related to her character, or to cases - not to mention had electric chemistry with Benson (sexual or not, take your pick).

With all the flack that SVU had taken over the years for not having a more diverse cast in regards to sexuality, Amanda was the earliest and best opportunity they had to develop a complex, interesting storyline of an adult woman coming to her sexuality late in life. I am not even necessarily the most ravenous Rolivia Shipper out there, but I'm heartbroken that they took Amanda's character over the years into the most boring, obvious, dissatisfying of directions.

I adored Amanda's wild/problematic side. Her episodes with her fighting with Amaro, dealing with her gambling addiction, shooting her sister's ex, or going rogue undercover are my favorite episodes of basically the last 10 yrs of the show. It was so good to finally have someone in the squad who was easier to relate to in a real-world sense. Someone who went to a Big Girl job in the day, but in the off hours was a mess with a rebellious streak.

It was always my hope that they would turn around the storylines where she seemed to chase men that were purposely bad for her, into a realization that it was because she was more emotionally into women. It fits so perfectly with her childhood, her background, and had ready-made holes in existing canon where they could have written it in with ease. (Pretending to be Liv's gf at the sperm bank, the remarks she makes in the episode Plastic, questioning her second pregnancy, etc.)

Instead, they had Carisi mope after her for years, all through the seasons where she showed no interest in him. I lost 50% of my respect for Carisi when he had that sulking tantrum after she fucked the bartender in Intent (a sexist double-standard btw, which would have never flown with fans if it had been Rollins pouting bc Carisi turned her down), and the other 50% after Carisi became ADA, with the writers seeming to then write him as rather victim-blaming.

The biggest irony, in my opinion, is that Dick Wolf complains that giving the fans EO will make the show too 'soap opera-y,' when what he/they did with Rollisi and Kelli's exit was far and away the most soap opera-esque thing they ever wrote! Fuck off with that obvious shit! Oh, the once-troubled blonde who is now straight as an arrow, rides off into the sunset with the Catholic altar boy and trades her powerful feminist position for a 9-5 (don't come for me, there's nothing wrong w being a professor, that's not the point here) and her two kids. Eat all of my ass, Mr. Cis-het, White, Only-Primetime-Billionaire Wolf. 🙄***

To make matters worse, they specifically brought in a POC actress to play a bisexual character, only to write her out as fast as possible for absolutely no discernable reason!?! The utter waste of what they did with Kat Tamin is an equal travesty. Give me Kat waking up in Amanda's bed. Give me Amanda making pancakes for breakfast and Kat carrying the kids to the table. Give me anything but the bullshit, Caucasian tripe that they sold us with Rollisi!!!

*takes deep breath*

And if - IF - the powers that be couldn't think beyond the end of an average-length cock when it came to Rollins, then for the love of all that is holy: her chemistry with Sergeant Khaldun was 1) vastly more believable 2) hotter 3) more diverse as an overall cast option and 4) less cringeworthily obvious.

I have loved SVU since I was 16 yrs old, and even though I gave up watching it around The People v. Richard Wheatley (for reasons unrelated to this specific rant), I still lurk in the background and keep myself vaguely caught up. But it's getting impossible to defend a lot of the choices they have made in the last three or four years. Good talent is so hard to hang onto these days in H'wood, and Dick Wolf seems just as, if not more, determined to fuck up his show as Chris Carter was in the 90s with TXF.

Thanks for coming to my TED Rant. 😮‍💨✌🏻

- HeartEyes4Mariska

***Not to mention the Barisi Shippers got robbed in the process.

[foxys-fantasy-tales]

Writeblr Re-Introduction

I never did this quite right the first time. Get ready, cause this may be a long one. May be oversharing, but hey no character limit and I feel like being super in depth in my soon to be pinned post is on brand. -Ahem-

Hello! You can call me Denise. I use she/her pronouns and I am 32 years old (ancient for Tumblr, I know) with a love for writing fantasy and romance with a lot of dark elements and intrigue. My characters can be messy and sweet and that makes them good to me. I have a lot of bad things happen to my characters, but I like a triumphant tale in the end where at least most people are happy or things turn out alright. I really have fallen for each and every one of my characters and feel the world in general needs some hope in conflict. I am bisexual/biromantic, demisexual/demiromantic, and polyamorous, so a lot of my characters are queer in some fashion. I love writing demi characters and polyam relationships the most so far, though it's taking a bit of build-up to get my first series to that point. My partner (married) is non-binary and I have trans and token cis-het friends and more, so I feel I have a good group helping and reading my books so that my characters come off the page as they should, even if I'm writing a label not my own. I'm also disabled, and in two of my three current projects there is a disabled character present. I only found this out a few years ago, slightly before the pandemic (wooo) and I still have no idea what's causing most of my issues even though doctors have proven something is wrong. I may have an undiagnosable condition with no name yet, so please be patient if I'm not quick to respond or post a lot. I have chronic pain, fatigue, GI issues, and migraines. Going to rattle off some ending facts about myself here. I love playing DnD and have an over two year campaign ongoing right now where I play a sorcerer. I adore cosplaying when I can afford it. I'm addicted to Final Fantasy 14. I still play Pokemon. I have been watching anime since I was about eight years old, which was at the same time I began writing my own stories, so I've been in this for a while now. I hope to always keep improving. I have a BA in English with emphasis in Creative Writing, and though it hasn't served in finding me gainful employment, I hope it helps me in entertaining with my words, which is what I always longed for anyway. All of my works have dark themes, and if you buy my books there will always be a specific trigger warning section in the front so you can make an informed decision. So with that out there, let's talk about my works!

Published Works

Arigale: Spite in the Spirit (Aug. 2021)

Status: Complete and Published

Genres: Epic fantasy, Romance, Action and Adventure Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Around 170k words

(gray morality, friends to lovers, exploring a new world, critique on religious extremes, multiple ships to sail, magic galore and a practical armory, apparently a hot villain, LGBTQIA+ Rep (still building on in book two), found family, humor and at times dark humor, Multiple POV ensemble cast)

Judith and Chit are called to the lonely tower outside their city with little explanation. The one who summoned them is an old, elven wizard named Maleth, who will send them on a quest to lower their floating city of Arigale to where it once resided. Maleth is intrigued by Judith’s strange form of necromantic magic, yet he is also certain of the anxious young man in training to be a spearman and scholar.

Judith, a bubbly yet mysterious young woman, is eager to accept. Chit remains withdrawn and cautious, a remnant of being raised by the Order that presides over their land. Soon, both discover their meeting with the wizard carried dire consequences. Can they accomplish what has been asked of them and save Arigale by exploring the land below, no matter the lengths they must go to?

Available at: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Indiebound, and Kobo.

First five chapters are available here on Tumblr for preview! Chapter One - Bonds Chapter Two - Blood Chapter Three - Beseeched Chapter Four - Brazen Chapter Five - Betwixt

I also have a book trailer for this one on Youtube and Tiktok.

Works In Progress

Arigale: Bond in the Blood (WIP)

Aesthetic placeholder for now. The cover is in progress!

(Many of the same tropes as listed above, but more darkness and trauma themes than book one had. Another added romance that is friends to lovers to enemies to ??? You'll have to read to find out!)

Status: Drafting (60%)

Genres: Epic fantasy, Romance, Action and Adventure Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Not yet complete - Coming 2023

Judith and Chit's journey across the seas to Galavarn was not as smooth as they had hoped for. The standard of living here is much different than what they encountered on the mainland, and the newfound bond between them will be tested. Enigmas run rampant here, along with a woman from Maleth’s past who claims to hold the key to defeating them for good. Unfortunately, this woman has an unruly and strangely apathetic nature to her, along with a profound hatred toward their distant companion on Arigale. 

Meanwhile, back on the mainland, those left behind must bear their own struggles as a stranger appears and insists on taking one of their number with him. This man with red, sunken eyes bears a sharp grudge against Stemoss and worse obligations to a certain deity. 

Secrets of the past will come to light on this desolate isle, and the friends left behind will struggle to not become a cog in a plan devised long before they were even born.

Made to Taste (WIP)

Made this placeholder cover in Canva, may or may not be final

(critique of racial relations and capitalism, LGBTQIA+ Rep, monsters and mayhem, dark boy and maybe not sunshine but optimistic girl, meet cute, Terrible CEO villains, small business owning woman protag, magical races in modern day, first kiss, ferris wheels, cute confessions and fluffy moments mixed with helping one another during awful ordeals, they were roommates)

Status: Possible series in the works. Book one draft is complete and editing begins soon. Book two draft in progress as well.

Genres: Urban fantasy, Romance, Paranormal Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Not yet complete - Book One possible in 2023

When Lyra Morley accepted a rough and tumble new hire from her bar, she didn't think he would end up her new roommate in a week. Noel Akatash brings his own debts, and the people holding the accounts aren't to be trifled with. Magical home invasions aside, Lyra is more worried about her business serving the city nightlife any food she can handle all made to order.

Cooking with a halfbreed's sense of smell comes with its perks, and one of them is that she can hide her skills in the kitchen so no one is any wiser about her true nature. The night-only diner called Made to Taste is meant to be a haven for those the city would rather keep buried. Lyra, the pacifist and abstinent dhampir, would fight to keep it safe. Good thing Noel knows a thing or two about being scrappy.

Dream Escape (WIP)

Another aesthetic placeholder for now, but I have a cover in mind

(dreams vs reality, learning to cope, TW: suicidal themes are major part of this book, disenchantment, finding your purpose, joy in the little things is better than no joy at all, painting and artistry used to convey these themes, portal/dreamscape fantasy, Alice in Wonderland vibes, enemies to friends to lovers) Status: Plotting stage

Genres: Urban fantasy, Romance, Drama Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Not yet complete - No determined release YET - Standalone novel around 80k words

Emma Reed, 26, has a Master of the Arts and no place to put it but in her desk drawer. Once proud of her accomplishment, the lights quickly dimmed when she ended up living back in her old childhood bedroom at her parents place and flat broke. Helping Adrien with graphics for their streaming or Sarah with banners for her pet business is all well and good, but it's not at all how she imagined scrapping by. When her newest piece is rejected from the gallery she had finally convinced to give her a chance, Emma hits a downward spiral.

When she awakens, she finds herself in a strange new world with a strange man hovering around her. He calls himself Jasper, a dream painter, and quickly proves his prowess at sculpting others' dreams. Emma was in his care, but though he's petitioned her to wake up, she can't. Neither knows how she ended up in this place, but surrounded by the dreams of others quite literally brought to life around her, Emma makes the decision to stay.

Jasper won't let her. For one, if she stays there is no telling how badly that could go for her, or for his hopes of a promotion. Emma goes along with his plan to cart her across this new place, more as a sightseeing tour than the arduous task he finds it to be. Along the way, a bit of the light comes back into her eyes, and he can't help but remember how bright they both used to shine. Dulled and muddied palettes that they both became, can they start over?

Links & Socials

Find out all the info you need for Arigale, with pages for my other works upcoming when they are closer to release dates at my website.

You can support me with my illness and with saving for promotion, editing, and artwork for my writing over on Ko-Fi.

You can also find me being a struggling writer, but also a huge geek who loves DnD, anime, cosplay, RPGs, Otome, and more here on Tumblr and over on my other socials at Twitter, Tiktok, and sporadically on Instagram.

My Tags

I haven't been great at using these, but I'm going to try and be better.

#Arigale - for anything related to my Arigale series

#Made to Taste - for anything related to Made to Taste series

#Dream Escape - for anything related to my standalone titled such

#Writer Woes - for rants or jokes about how hard this can be

#Writer Advice - to take with a grain of salt please

#Mental Mess - when I have a bad mental health day

#Physical Mess - when I have a bad physical health day

#Free Commentary - When I reblog with additions in tags

And I'll of course be using #Writeblr #Booklr and other necessary tags as well when called for.

[nothing-goldstays]

wait i don't understand why say so was supposedly problematic??? (totally cool if you ignore this and don't speak on it i'm just confused lol sending you much love <3)

Ok, so this is going to be the last time I post about it, just because I’ve explained it a few times and I’m tired of rehashing it.

In the first draft of the fic, I put a lot of emphasis on Lexi being worried about transitioning to hetero scenes because she had never had sex with a cis man before. I used the word virgin, despite Lexi having had plenty of sex with women. I wasn’t thinking at the time about how this could be taken as invalidating to lesbians or wlw or people that don’t engage in penetrative sex with cis men. I didn’t *intend* for it to be dismissive, or to imply that lesbian sex isn’t real or as meaningful as hetero sex. However, that was the impact and the way it was taken.

I edited the chapter, but still received feedback that this fic was beyond my capabilities and that I shouldn’t write it. Not wishing to do more harm, I removed the fic and decided to discontinue it.

I am sincerely sorry to those that were upset and hurt by the fic. I was insensitive. Being an older ex-Catholic bisexual, I have a lot of learning and introspection to do regarding comp-het and heteronormativity. Growing up, the emphasis was always on penetrative sex and yes, I did participate in the purity culture nonsense as a teen. So, despite thinking I had come so far in regards to accepting my own sexuality (because I’m bi and have had sex and relationships with women), I’ve learned that I still have a lot to unpack and that I’m not qualified to write a fic based around this particular theme. I am not trying to excuse this but explain where I’m coming from and my thought process here.

So, that fic is out, and I’m moving on to other things. This is a bad week for writing for various real life reasons, so taking a break is a good idea anyway. I hope that whatever I come back with, people will still be interested to read as well as hold me accountable for my mistakes, and be forgiving when I make them, because I’m certain I’ll fuck up again. I’m trying to learn and do better! But I’m also human so I know I will mess up again.

[ultraviolet-ink]

For the ask game: Seishirou Jigoku, Genshin Asogi, and Yujin Mikotoba?

I think about the original exchange students a normal amount lol! I'm also putting this under a cut to save the scrolling because I am never concise XD Prompts here!

Seishirou Jigoku

Sexuality Headcanon: I bounce back and forth with him haha. I really like playing around with gay Jigoku who really tries to lean into hypermasculinity because of the setting/time period (the same goes with AroAce as well, he just really tries to lean into the roles he's "supposed" to play as a man) Can you tell I've taken a sociology course or two this semester? XD

Gender Headcanon: Cis Man, I didn't really think of much variation here, he's just what he is on the tin haha

A ship I have with said character: So I kinda went down a rabbit hole for MikoJigo haha! (Also, shameless self promo for @aaholidayrare which I am helping run! Less than a month WHOOP!) I also enjoy Jigotex/JigoHart, because I am here for messy bitches who are extremely toxic for each other and will be the other's source of destruction. I find it so interesting because I think that they both kind of hate the other, but dammit they're spicy! :D

A BROTP I have with said character: Yujin and Genshin! I really do love the tragedy of their friendships, and I am determined to write more of them!

A NOTP I have with said character: tbh Jigo////Aso, I can see why it's enjoyed, and I do love messy drama, but it's just not for me. Highkey gives me intrusive thoughts, but I can appreciate it from a distance lol

A random headcanon: brattiest bottom to ever bottom in the record of bottoming (shoutout to AA Anon WHOOP!)

General opinion over said Character: He's a really tragic character when you think about it! If he never listened to Stronghart, he could have been a modestly respected official in the judiciary without it all going wrong. His ambition and self-serving was his doom when he pulled that trigger, but really, he was doomed that night in general. I read an amazing fic where Jigoku shot someone ELSE that night, even if he decided to save Genshin, someone was always going to die and that crime will always return to haunt him. It's really the makings of a Greek Tragedy, and I'm determined to write more of him!! Genshin Asogi Sexuality Headcanon: I think its hilarious if he's the one oblivious het guy! he just has all these homoerotic moments but he's just oblivious omg XD

Gender Headcanon: Cis Man

A ship I have with said character: Honestly, him and his wife, I want to know more about Mama Asogi dammit!

A BROTP I have with said character: Him and Klint! As well as him with Jigoku and Seishirou!

A NOTP I have with said character: I guess Gen////Klint. It's not that I think it's bad or anything, I'm just kind of ambivalent on it. Didn't really call out to me

A random headcanon: he cannot whistle. If you also know anything about Victorian era stereotypes on homosexuals, you'll also chuckle at this (Also, read Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Ninteenth Century by Gram Robb)

General opinion over said Character: He's got the potential to be really interesting, especially with how he's seen by others (especially by Kazuma and Barok), but he really is just some guy. I like the simplicity in that, but I would love to know more about him! (The Great Ace Attorney Investigations when Capcom??)

Yujin Mikotoba

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual icon, he gets all the "that one time in Europe" boyfriends, and the trip was his awakening haha!

Gender Headcanon: He's a Cis Man

A ship I have with said character: I'm HomuMiko trash because TGAA decided to make me the person I was at the age of 12, I already mentioned MikoJigo, and I also helped beta a fic that opened my eyes to MikoBaro! Also, last, but not least, Yujin and Ayame because they seem really sweet, like that first love kind of vibe! Also, maybe having a panic moment where Yujin thinks "shit these Sholmes men are kinda 😳" with Mycroft

A BROTP I have with said character: Like I mentioned with Jigoku, him and Genshin as well! To avoid repeating myself, I also enjoy the dynamic that he and Susato have!

A NOTP I have with said character: I don't really have any NoTPs with him lol

A random headcanon: He's like a fine wine, gets better with age. Also, I don't care what the london model is lying about, mans deserves a dadbod

General opinion over said Character: I think about Mikotoba so much, he's really one of my favorite characters and I love his moral greyness. He lies by omission so much, but he is determined to find the truth as seen with his exploits with Sholmes! He is a good man, but he's also a flawed man!

[olderthannetfic]

You can't tell me that Shinji wouldn't have some fierce pent up rage he'd let out in the bedroom whenever he manages to make it in there.

Idk, I know my experience isn't universal but I only saw the anti-pages and flash games in the fujoshi sector. Flame wars on LJ with het ships oh absolutely. Hello stalking and other such nonsense. If you saw any hate/kill pages for het ships I'd love to hear about them because that's a weird part of internet history that I sometimes wonder if I dreamed up. That experience was a big milestone during my formative years. I could've done better without that experience. Either way, internalized misogyny is something we all get to battle, I'm sure, but I do take exception to people weaponizing and pedestaling Teh Gays to do it. Or any race someone doesn't have a dog in really but to stay on topic. The overall vibe I recall was 'this is so taboo and that makes it sexy so let's play in this filth for a while and kill Asuka' etc and I just think it'd be nice if that was done? So yeah. 1) Are we normalized yet and 2) What's the updog on the female character hate-sites?

IS IT SAFE YET?

--

Hmm... an intriguing point.

Fandom! Please weigh in on this pressing topic!

How does Shinji fuck?

--

I think the het side of fandom just called their enemy characters "whores" instead of "stupid and boring" like the m/m-shipping side tended to. IDK. It's not like over-the-top hate for the character in the way of the ship has ever been restricted to one group.

Plenty of female character hate I remember was from straight dudes who pretended not to care about shipping. That absolutely includes jokey shit about Asuka being raped or murdered for not fawning on their self-inserty take on Shinji or for not being a ~demure lady~ like Rei or some bullshit. I'm sure they too would be quick to blame it on the icky m/m shippers now though.

There's a really toxic subtext to your comments that's a lot more pressing than someone's character hate webshrine from twenty years ago.

"Or any race someone doesn't have a dog in really" is such a covert radfem way of thinking. That's for two reasons:

1. A shitton of conflicted AFAB m/m shippers grow out of their "girls suck" problems when they finally realize that they are not girls and that this hatred of everything to do with women is coming from a place of being constantly triggered by how people perceive them.

I remember reading some of Billy Martin's old stuff as a teenager and being really grossed out by how it treated women. I liked the m/m parts and the kinky shit, so I kept reading, but yikes. Years later, finding out that Poppy Z Brite was struggling for years and eventually became "Doc" and then Billy Martin made so much sense. That doesn't make misogyny cool, but I'll cut the dude some slack for taking a while to figure his shit out.

I don't restrict that to trans men. NB people and, frankly, a lot of more-or-less cis women with non-normative gender in some way follow a similar path.

2. What makes you think I don't have a dog in that race? What makes you think a woman cannot relate primarily to male characters or equally to male characters?

As a bisexual woman, I like bisexual characters. I don't give two shits about lesbian ones. My first point of identification is orientation, not gender.

The reason I say your (extremely common and thrown at me daily) talking points are covert radfem is that they posit a situation in which women should identify first and foremost with other women. We should choose women. We should center women.

Why?

What if you want to center your ethnicity? What if you want to center your age? What if you want to center your neurodivergence?

Or what, for that matter, if you want to write about the inside of your head and not the outside of your body? There are many, many reasons people choose these cross-group identifications for that purpose. The entirety of drag queen culture and gay men's use of female celebrities is a version of this. Sure, some trans women have been into the same stuff, and it was an expression of them being women, just as some m/m-writing AFABs in fandom turn out to be men, but there's also this whole other thing that has to do with making art that expresses your insides, not a representation quota.

--

Are we normalized yet? Is who normalized? Gay men? People who hate on m/m shippers in cliched ways? Yes to both. If you want to hang with the cis gay dudes, I'm sure they're around somewhere, though probably not in the middle of AFAB-ville on fanworks fandom tumblr. If you want to find a bunch of dickheads who hate "fujoshi", often in self-hating ways, they're all over the place though. Throw a rock. You'll hit one.

Character shrines, positive and negative, are long dead thanks to geocities and its ilk deleting our collective internet history, but as long as you see strawmen lurking around every corner, it will never be safe for you.