#but whatever who cares I'm not bitter
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bonicedemandarina · 2 months ago
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Jinx and Isha bc I think they're neat, it was supposed to be a quick doodle but it got out of hand very quickly
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schadenfreudich · 5 months ago
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Dislike it when I see a post making a good point about romantic relationships not being necessary from an aro perspective and then the rest of the post is about friendships.
Especially in a way where it just feels like they replaced romantic relationships with platonic ones.
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eddiethehunted · 3 months ago
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i have decided to use my slight physical resemblance to taylor swift to my advantage and by this i mean that since i am not allowed to dress up for work (LAME) and i can only wear regular uniform clothes (black clothes) i am going to dress up as taylor swift. i have a black sequin dress and black knee high boots and a black (fake) fur coat. and if i put on red lipstick and eyeliner and wear my hair natural every motherfucker that comes in to my work will be like "oh you look like taylor swift" and instead of being awkward like "haha yeah i get that a lot" i can be like "THANKS IT'S MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME" because FUCK YOU CORPORATE I AM GOING TO DRESS UP
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platypusisnotonfire · 2 months ago
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well.
I'm 30.
#one minute ago#damn I really REALLY thought I'd have my life more together#I mean to be real I 10000% did not expect to live until 30 good grief#but in my day dreams of 'what I might have been like if I lived to be an adult' this was not it#not still living like an emancipated minor in a 1 1/2 that's not even official it's more of a charity by the people who own the garage#that it's built in#not remembering to eat every day and eating the same 'gotta eat something' random assortment of whatever is in the cabinets#that I've been eating since I was 4#still working 4 jobs and not having my phd yet#literally never gone on one date and still feel too young for a relationship because I don't ever EVER want to be that guy#who doesn't know how to do anything and expects their partner to take care of them#I can barely do laundry and I straight up refuse to do dishes#I buy paper plates and cups#I'm not going to impose that on anyone#I keep thinking when I grow up I can have a relationship but I'm not old enough yet#but buddy I'm a freaking grown up now#30 is no joke#it's official#I just suck.#it's not about age its about being a garbage person#like i would never ever EXPECT my partner to take care of me but in practical terms I would fail at keeping the house clean#and they would pick up the slack becuase they don't want to live in a trash hole and would get mad and/or bitter with me for making them#living alone my bad choices only effect me#when i've lived with roommates in the past this has always been a key point of breakdown#even when I've tried to be extra dilligent I would forget a glass somewhere becuase I planned to reuse it and my roomate would wash it#and be mad that I felt entitled and expected them to clean up after me when I absolutly did NOT in fact I was horrified#that they needed to clean something up after me- I just simply lost track of it. and that was 10000% unfun for everyone involved#I was ashamed 100% of the time and they felt used 100% of the time and no one had a good time
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found--family · 11 months ago
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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 
#burcon#cockles#thoughts#at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish#he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf#at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand#if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being#in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure#that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate#i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period#letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to#affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing#and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who#she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face#during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh#but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land#and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out#and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm#looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they#mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace#while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me#everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that#learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments#i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel#if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage#and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt#a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him#misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af#and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...
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i have depriving myself down to an art form
#why am i like this??#why do I keep breaking my own heart?#apparently I've also got to finish the job by posting into the abyss#wish someone would fix me cos this cycle ain't stopping#(missed out on adopting yet another rescue dog I had my heart set on)#i should be fine with this cos I said I wanted to give a home to a dog who had trouble finding one#or who would struggle with inexperienced owners#and this dog was rehomed in just days so he clearly didn't need me#but after the extreme grief of losing my last dog to cancer it's been really hard for me to find a dog I'm ready to commit to#(especially in my town cos I'm just not a staffy/pig dog person and that's 99.99% of dogs here)#and I don't know when it's going to happen again#I finally got ready to hit that button to enquire and then got the news on page reload. it hurts#the other dog I like is too far away to meet and would hate the 2-day car ride back.#he's been getting overlooked for too long. but he's also like 30+kg which dramatically increases his ongoing cost of care#and I'm still trying to find work. (I could have afforded looking after the little guy inc. in any emergencies with my savings)#anyway I have to pick myself up cos my nieces have asked me to [“help them”] train their big unruly dog#that it was 100% irresponsible of my sister to get#but as usual she gets to have whatever she wants and everyone else has to pick up the pieces#and then I get to hate myself for growing bitter from being responsible and caring about the situation I put others in (ppl and dogs)#anyway gonna go cry myself to sleep#maybe one day I'll get sane and stop my belief in “signs from the universe” to guide me re: whether it's ok to let myself have something#(after I've done the logic math)
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loverboybrightsideghost · 6 months ago
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i want to understand dating and such but i'm just so lazy to put in the effort and also no one likes me like that and i don't see the point in going after someone just on the off chance that somehow love manages to happen and also drama is stupid. i wanna know for the sake of it but also i could not be assed. i want to know to know but really what i want is friendship and cuddles.
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bluehairperson · 2 years ago
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I don’t want to start drama but I’ve seen some concerning posts floating around about how distasteful and disappointing it is to see certain creators “support” Dorian and I hate to break it to you guys, but if you’ve ever interacted, shared or created anything regarding The Arcana you are supporting Dorian yourselves.
Being in the fandom alone is supporting Dorian by creating engagement, publicizing the game and being part of the audience they’re trying to target.
And even if you were to delete your whole blog and everything you’ve ever posted to enjoy the original game in private you would still be supporting Dorian by bringing traffic to the app they now own.
The one and only way you have to stop supporting Dorian, if you care about it so much, would be to distance yourself from the series entirely and go join another fandom. Never play the original game ever again and never interact with any fan creation regarding it from now on. 👋
#you're basically saying you dislike people supporting the company by working with it#while you yourself are supporting the company but indirectly by giving visibility to their brand#let's be coherent please#I personally don't care about dorian just like I never cared about nix hydra#but I still like the game so I'm gonna cherry pick whatever I want#and full offence but between this and continuous character and ship discourse you guys are unsufferable lol#you're murdering the fandom from the inside by being toxic af and finding the most bullshit excuses to attack artists for shit#that doesn't matter and then you turn around and whine and wonder why the fandom is dying and no one is posting anything new anymore#like MMMMMMMMMNHHHHHHH 🤔🤔🤔#it's a mystery I wonder why#mentioning this because I also saw some discourse about dorian being awful for supporting quote unquote tOxIc and aBuSiVe ships 😨😨😨😨#with the most basic and vanilla couple I've ever seen here#like nix hydra was never great either but I've never ever seen posts claiming that if you support them you must be an awful person#what changed exactly?#it sounds to me that you guys are just really bitter that the new quote unquote canon content is... not super good so you're trying to#vent your frustration in any way you can#which means attacking independent artists who use the platform because it's easier to reach and demolish them rather than the company itself#I log on here to recharge after a day of work and all I see is people acting like twelve year olds trying to be mean like bruh#it's literally the hom3stuck 2 fandom situation I called it#tagging this as discourse so you can blacklist it if you don't wanna be annoyed#discourse#the arcana#dorian era#not art
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welcometogrouchland · 1 year ago
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I've decided I need to post at least some of my DC art backlog or I may actually explode and die
#ramblings of a lunatic#i have things I'm cooking#it's always weird when a new obsession takes me bc it usually is so intense that it blocks out any ability to think/talk abt-#-whatever it is I've been posting about for the past year or two#and I'm always afraid that I'm like. alienating anyone who views my blog on a regular basis#which is stupid! i know that this is my house and I can post whatever i want!#it just feels odd#especially bc enjoying comics isn't like enjoying other stuff for me. it's complicated#GAH anyway. I'm currently following along with bop + batman and robin rn (+semi following the flash??? a lil???)#(I'm one of the sickos who's actually looking forward to beast world exclusively bc of the tie-ins (like the flash). i know I'm a freak)#but like. that's two monthly series. i have to sustain myself with day dreams#and then i don't know how to externalise the daydreams. also i feel like i know too much abt canon to exist soley in the like.#the corner of the fandom that's just an echo of the source material (which is valid imo as a separate off-shoot of fandom)#but also i always feel like i don't know Enough (nor do i have enough bitterness in my soul) to occupy the mainstream more hardline-#-comic fan spaces that adhere much more closely to canon#ergo i never know like. who I'm making a post for in that sense bc I'm not sure i could slot comfortably into either camp yknow?#i should value my own opinions and interests enough to just vote for myself. and yet#and yet...#anyway. it's probably gonna be the usual slew of redesigns and doodles of C...nay Z-listers that i care about#if it does happen. which like i said. if it doesn't. i esplode
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teacupchimera · 2 years ago
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fourfuckinghorsemen · 2 years ago
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If all I see on my dash tomorrow is sappy romantic crap then I probably won't be around.
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draconicace · 22 days ago
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sucks applying to jobs with a bachelors it's either you're slightly underqualified, *really* underqualified, or so overqualified the weight of your student loan debt has taken physical form like atlas lifting the earth
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auswiftic · 27 days ago
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talking sense into myself but I dunno how long it'll last
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gothicfied · 22 days ago
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more for 124 :(((((((
Hand in Hand - Nam-gyu / Player 124
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Pairing: Nam-gyu / Player 124 x Reader
Summary: The fight in the men's bathroom and the rising tension between players gave you much to worry about, but Nam-gyu gave you to comfort you needed
Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, blood, killing (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)
Word count: 721 words
A/N: Tihihihi, I love this man fr. I hope this isn't too cringe🧍‍♀️
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You couldn't sleep, actually, no one was able to sleep. Sitting on the bed under you was Nam-gyu, who didn't want to talk to you - talk to anybody - after the fight was broken up. You immediately understood what was up when he yelled out that the men who voted 'X' had attacked them, killing some of the players. Thanos didn't return. Yeah, it was pretty obvious why he seemed so pissed off, so shell-shocked. Quietly, you sat up, carefully leaning down to see what he was doing. Nam-gyu was biting his fingernails, eyeing Thanos' cross necklace that he was holding in his slightly shaky hands. Seeing you leaning down from the corner of his eye, he frowned.
"What?"
"I can't sleep."
"Why?"
"I'm scared.."
Nam-gyu's face immediately softened upon hearing your words. He swallowed hard and hastily tucked the necklace into his pocket, gesturing for you to come down and sit next to him. As gently as possible to not catch anyone elses attention, you dropped down from your bed and leaned against the headboard of Nam-gyu's bed, your shoulder pressed against his. "Are you sad?" you asked quietly, just looking down at your lap as you spoke. You heard his breath hitching for a moment, but he still asked you what you meant by that. "Sad about- well you know." Silence.
Nam-gyu wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. He has witnessed so many deaths in this place by now and none of them have affected him in the slightest. He didn't know them well, so why should he care about a random player? "Because, I'm not sure if I should be." your voice interrupted his thoughts. Slowly, he turned his head your way, taking in your side profile in the dim light. "Nah," Nam-gyu chuckled, "he was an asshole. Had it coming, in my opinion." Despite his words, he sounded bitter. It's not like he didn't mean them, because that's exactly how Thanos was, but they still had some kind of.. friendship.
You met his gaze, your eyes wandering over his face covered in splatters of blood. That was worrying by itself, but you didn't have any interest in asking about what role he played in that fight. "And why are you scared?" You looked at him like he asked you the most stupid question in the world.
"Come on, you know everyone will try to kill each other now."
"And you know that I won't let anything happen to you."
Ever since he defended you from a group of men, who were making more than weird comments about you, immediately on the first day you woke up in this hellhole, you've just stuck with him. On multiple occasions now, Nam-gyu has proven that he actually won't let anything or anyone harm you. Why? He doesn't know it, either. He just likes you and you didn't take that for granted. Nam-gyu made you feel safe, you trusted him, even if that's hard to believe. Usually, he'd be compliant with what Thanos would say or tell him to do, just not when he was giving you a hard time — That's partially why he just couldn't feel sorry for that man.
Slowly, Nam-gyu wrapped his arm around your neck, making you lean your head against his. The silence between you two was never awkward and more comforting than anything. You were able to hear faint whispers of other players, feet tapping the ground and the occasional cough from that old guy, Player 100. Nam-gyu's hair tickled the side of your face as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.
"Whatever happens tonight, I promise I'll keep you safe."
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maypiles · 18 days ago
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But I'm very homesick for arms that have never hold me🎀🪞
PICK A PILE: What Do You Need to Hear, What Do You Need to Know?🦢🩰
You guys are not ready for this one, because let me tell you—Spirit decided to wake me up with a Chihiro x Ariana Grande mashup blaring in my head like an alarm clock, and I just knew. This isn’t a coincidence; this is a channeled message, loud and clear. I mean, who else gets spiritual downloads with a side of TikTok trends? Clearly, I’m favored. Anyway, grab your coffee, your crystals, or whatever you need to ground yourself, because today’s reading is about to serve you layers of spicy revelations, unexpected clarity, and a sprinkle of divine chaos (because why not?). If you're feeling hot flashes, dreaming in metaphors, or noticing all the crows in your neighborhood suddenly staring at you like they’ve got something to say—this one’s for you. Let’s get into it, shall we?
❗This is a collective reading so please take what resonates and leave what does not❗ Please be careful of scammers, I'll never reach out to you and ask you for money or personal readings❗
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Pile One🦪
My gorgeous Pile 1, let’s talk, because Spirit came in loud with this one—and I mean literally. The crows wouldn’t shut up, the downloads wouldn’t stop, and my body? On fire. Hot flushes, all over, like Spirit turned the heat up to make sure you get this message. So, let’s break it down.
Signs & Synchronicities
Right off the bat, notifications could be huge for you right now—check your messages, your DMs, your emails, whatever. Something important is trying to reach you, and you don’t want to miss it. Chocolate? Perfume? These are connected to sweetness and self-care, but also attraction and indulgence. Are you finally indulging in yourself, Pile 1? Or are you craving something—or someone—that feels just out of reach?
And crows? Let me tell you, they are not just random birds hanging out. They’re messengers, carriers of divine justice, and omens of transformation. If you’ve been hearing or seeing them, this is your wake-up call. Spirit is saying, ‘Listen, babe. We’re talking.’ And that crow sound? It’s sharp, like a reminder to stay alert, to notice what’s unfolding around you. This message has layers, so stay with me.
The Energy—Hot, Spicy, Intense
This whole reading is laced with heat—those hot flushes all over your body? That’s Spirit igniting a fire within you to finally heal. And when I say "heal," I don’t mean just dust off old wounds. No, this is deep, soul-level healing from something that cut you hard and left you spinning. You’ve been carrying this pain for too long, and Spirit is here, loud and unapologetic, telling you it’s time to let it go.
The Cards
Queen of Swords upright with The Star—This is your clarity and your hope. You’re stepping into your truth, cutting through the nonsense, and reclaiming your voice. The Star says healing is happening, but don’t expect it to be gentle. It’s the kind of healing that burns before it soothes. You’re being guided to dream big, even if your dreams seem out of reach right now.
Queen of Swords reversed with Three of Swords—But let’s be real. You’ve been here before, haven’t you? Trying to heal, only to slip back into old cycles. That reversed Queen shows me there’s still some bitterness, some unresolved pain. Spirit is asking you to look directly at your heartbreak without flinching. The Three of Swords is raw, but it’s also a turning point. Acknowledge it, cry over it if you must, but know that it’s not your forever.
Eight of Wands with The Hanged Man—Once you face that pain, things will move fast. Communication, opportunities, and clarity will flood in, but you need to shift your perspective first. The Hanged Man is here to remind you that sometimes, the only way out is through. Let yourself sit with the discomfort—it’s temporary, I promise.
Seven of Swords reversed with Eight of Swords reversed—Oof, someone’s lies or sneaky behavior might have trapped you in your head before. But no more. These cards are about releasing deception, both from others and yourself. Stop lying to yourself about what you want, Pile 1. Stop pretending everything’s fine when you’re screaming inside. You’re freeing yourself from this mental prison, and let me tell you, it’s about damn time.
The Hermit with Knight of Cups—This is where it gets juicy. After all this introspection, someone—or something—new is coming in. The Knight of Cups is a romantic, a dreamer, someone who stirs your heart. Whether it’s a person, a creative project, or an emotional awakening, this is the spark you’ve been waiting for. But it only comes after you’ve done the inner work.
Nine of Pentacles with Five of Swords—You’re stepping into independence and self-worth, but beware of those who might try to sabotage you. The Five of Swords is a warning: not everyone will celebrate your glow-up. Some people are better left in the past.
Ten of Pentacles reversed with Page of Wands—This could indicate a shake-up in your foundation. Maybe it’s family drama, a breakup, or a financial reset. But the Page of Wands reminds you to stay curious and optimistic. New beginnings often feel messy before they feel right.
Knight of Swords with The Devil reversed—Your determination to break free from toxic patterns is unmatched. The Devil reversed says you’re cutting cords, ditching bad habits, and stepping out of cycles that no longer serve you. You’re unstoppable, babe.
Strength reversed with Ace of Cups—Here’s the emotional release. You’ve been holding it together for so long that you’ve forgotten how to let go. The Ace of Cups is your emotional renewal, your fresh start, your permission to feel everything again.
The High Priestess reversed with Queen of Cups—Spirit is saying, ‘Stop doubting yourself.’ Your intuition has been screaming at you, but you’ve been ignoring it. The Queen of Cups is here to remind you of your emotional depth and wisdom. Trust yourself—you already know what’s right for you.
Eight of Pentacles with The Sun—All this hard work you’re putting into yourself? It’s going to pay off in ways you can’t even imagine. The Sun is your ultimate happiness, your reward for all the effort. Keep going; you’re so close.
Five of Cups with Justice—Justice came out right as I was saying, ‘You’re getting your justice.’ Spirit does not play. This is karmic balance, the universe setting things right. Yes, you’ve experienced loss, but it wasn’t in vain. Everything you’ve endured is leading you to this moment of divine justice.
Bottom of the Deck: Temperance—Patience, my love. Healing isn’t a straight line, and balance takes time. But you’re on the right path.
Split Deck: Four of Cups reversed—You’re waking up, finally seeing the opportunities Spirit has been placing in ront of you. Stop dwelling on what didn’t work and focus on what’s possible.
The Message
Pile 1, you’re in the middle of a transformation so profound it’s practically radiating from your cards. You’re healing, releasing, and stepping into your power. Spirit is here, crows and all, to remind you that justice is on your side. Keep pushing through the discomfort—it’s leading you to a life that’s brighter, freer, and more aligned with who you are.
And those notifications? Answer them. Something important is trying to reach you. Stay hot, stay spicy, and stay open to the blessings heading your way.
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Pile Two🥀
The Vibe is Magnetic, and Spirit is Dancing With You
Oh, Pile Two. You didn’t just stumble into this reading—you waltzed in, spinning, singing, and twirling with a vibe so contagious it practically leaps off the cards. Let’s talk, because Spirit is loud and clear with this one. There’s a rhythm here, an undeniable flow, and the details? Oh, they’re dripping with significance.
Signs & Synchronicities
Dancing is huge for this pile. Whether you’re on the dance floor or grooving in your kitchen, there’s something about movement and rhythm that feeds your soul. Singing could be just as vital—expressing your voice, your truth, your essence. You might be someone who loves to accessorize—colorful bracelets that jingle with every step, or those stunning braided hairstyles adorned with beads.
The energy here screams personality—vibrant, unapologetic, and undeniably you.
But there’s a competitive streak too, isn’t there? Whether it’s proving yourself to others or loving that rush of pushing boundaries, there’s a fire in you that thrives on standing out and shocking the world. You don’t back down from a challenge—you lean in.
Now, let’s talk about itchiness. An itchy nose, a sudden rash—it’s like your body is reacting to this energy shift. Spirit is saying, “Pay attention!” These physical signs are nudges from the universe, reminders that something big is brewing.
And then there’s the time zone difference. Are you in a long-distance situation? Maybe you’re straddling two worlds—north and south, winter and summer (Timezone difference, Australia mentioned. HELLO?). But what stands out? Spring. A fresh start, a rebirth, a blossoming.
Also, Aries energy is coming in strong—bold, fiery, determined. Maybe it’s in your big three, or perhaps it’s just the vibe you’re stepping into: courageous, unstoppable, and unafraid to take the lead.
The Cards—Breaking It Down
Nine of Wands & The Devil—Let’s start with the tension. You’ve been through the wringer, haven’t you? The Nine of Wands shows resilience—standing tall, even when life keeps throwing curveballs. Paired with The Devil, though, it’s clear there’s something or someone trying to hold you back. Old habits? Toxic patterns? This card combo screams, “Break the chain!” You’re on the verge of freeing yourself from whatever’s been binding you.
Nine of Swords reversed & Five of Pentacles reversed—Here’s the good news: The worst is over. Those sleepless nights, those feelings of lack and abandonment—they’re lifting. You’re stepping out of the shadows, finding your strength again.
Three of Pentacles & Page of Swords reversed—Collaboration is key, but Spirit is warning you: not everyone in your circle has your best interests at heart. The Page of Swords reversed suggests miscommunication or even gossip. Keep your guard up and trust your intuition about who’s really in your corner.
Four of Swords reversed & Queen of Pentacles—You’ve rested long enough. Now, it’s time to get back in the game. The Queen of Pentacles shows you stepping into a nurturing, abundant energy—balancing your hustle with self-care.
The Star & Ten of Pentacles reversed—Hope is your guiding light, but don’t get stuck chasing someone else’s idea of success. The Ten of Pentacles reversed suggests that your “happily ever after” might look different from what you originally envisioned—and that’s okay.
Queen of Cups & Page of Pentacles reversed—Emotionally, you’re in tune, but don’t let small setbacks throw you off course. The Page reversed is a reminder to keep learning, growing, and experimenting without fear of failure.
Seven of Wands reversed & Seven of Cups—You don’t always have to fight. Sometimes, stepping back and reassessing your options (and there are many, trust me) is the best move.
The World & Six of Cups—A cycle is coming to a close, and it’s paving the way for something deeply nostalgic and fulfilling. Whether it’s reconnecting with a person or rediscovering a passion, there’s a sense of coming full circle.
Strength & Judgement—You’re stepping into your power, answering Spirit’s call. This is a rebirth, a reckoning, a chance to redefine yourself. Don’t shy away from the reflection staring back at you.
Knight of Pentacles & Queen of Swords reversed—Slow and steady wins the race, but don’t let impatience or harsh self-criticism derail you. The Knight is reliable, and you’re building something that lasts.
The Bottom of the Deck
The Lovers—Ah, the heart of it all. This is about choices, connections, and alignment. Whether it’s romantic or not, you’re calling in something—or someone—that resonates with your soul.
Split: Nine of Cups & Justice—Wish fulfillment is on the horizon, but Justice says you’ll get exactly what you deserve. This is karma balancing the scales, so trust that what’s coming is meant for you.
The Message
Pile Two, you’re in the middle of a transformation that feels like a dance—sometimes smooth, sometimes chaotic, but always moving forward. Spirit is asking you to embrace your unique rhythm. Let go of what no longer serves you, lean into the things that light you up, and trust that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
That Aries energy? It’s your cue to be bold, fearless, and unapologetically you.
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Pile Three🎀
Traveling Through Love, Fireworks, and a Deep Connection
There’s something sparkly and electrifying about this pile, isn’t there? You’re stepping into a story that feels like a whirlwind—like packing up everything in your bags and rushing toward an adventure. Travel is on the horizon, either you’re coming back from a trip, or one is definitely in your future. And it’s not just any trip. There’s a sense that this one will change you, shift you into something more you than you’ve been in a while. But it’s not all about the destination. Oh no, this is about the journey—one full of love, fireworks, lace, and that breathless feeling when you know your heart is about to explode.
Signs & Synchronicities
So many things stand out. First of all, broken earbuds or earphones? That’s a message right there. A reminder that some things, or perhaps even relationships, just don’t stay in one piece. They break, but in the breaking, there’s a deeper connection waiting to be made. There’s an underlying theme of things falling apart to make space for something new and beautiful.
And let’s talk about pink. Baby pink specifically. It’s soft, it’s delicate, but it’s also powerful. Maybe you’ve been seeing pink lately—whether in your wardrobe, decor, or in the most random of places. This is an invitation to open your heart, embrace vulnerability, and trust that love is not only possible but waiting for you.
Then there’s the theme of bags—packed bags. You’re not just physically packing up, though; you’re preparing for an emotional journey. Some of you could be making big moves soon, whether in relationships or lifestyle choices. It’s like Spirit is preparing you for something big, and you’re already subconsciously getting ready.
And fireworks—boom. There’s something that’s about to explode into your life in the most magnificent way. Maybe it’s a relationship, maybe it’s a moment of self-discovery. Whatever it is, it’s going to leave you breathless. Lace could also be significant—delicate, but intricate and deeply meaningful, like the threads of connection in your life.
Travel? I know we’ve mentioned it, but there’s something special about it. You could be reconnecting with someone from your past, or maybe you’re about to meet someone who feels like a past life connection. Someone who’s going to be incredibly dear to you.
The Cards—Breaking It Down
King of Wands & The Devil—The energy here is intense, fire-burning, and possibly a little addictive. The King of Wands is bold, confident, and passionate—someone who knows what they want and goes after it. Paired with The Devil, though, it’s clear that there’s a magnetic attraction here. Maybe there’s a person in your life or someone coming in who embodies this energy—a powerful force that could sweep you off your feet. But beware: there’s something about this connection that could be a little...dangerous. Will it lift you up or leave you craving more?
Three of Pentacles reversed & Eight of Pentacles—You’ve been trying to collaborate, work with others, and build something lasting. But right now, it feels like things aren’t coming together as smoothly as you’d like. Don’t let that dishearten you. The Eight of Pentacles is here to say that your hard work will pay off. Maybe it’s time to focus on yourself for a bit—hone your craft, perfect your skills, and let things fall into place.
Nine of Pentacles & The Chariot—Ah, independence and drive. You’re stepping into your power, learning how to stand alone, but there’s also a rush of energy—like a burst of momentum carrying you forward. The Chariot says go. Whatever it is you’ve been hesitating about, it’s time to take the wheel and drive. You’re unstoppable now.
King of Cups reversed & Seven of Cups—The emotional confusion here is palpable. There’s a lot of energy, but not all of it feels grounded. Is there someone who’s emotionally distant or unstable around you? The King of Cups reversed could indicate that someone close to you is struggling with their emotions, and the Seven of Cups adds to the fog, making everything seem unclear. Keep your heart open, but trust your instincts to cut through the illusions.
High Priestess reversed & Seven of Swords—Don’t let secrets or lies stand in the way. The High Priestess reversed is asking you to trust your intuition, but the Seven of Swords is a warning. Someone may not be telling the truth, or you might be withholding a truth from yourself. Pay attention to what’s hidden—whether it’s in a relationship or in your own actions.
Knight of Cups & Queen of Cups—Here comes the love, or at least, the potential for it. The Knight of Cups is a dreamy, romantic energy, and with the Queen of Cups, this is a deeply emotional connection. Someone is about to step forward—perhaps they’re already in your life—who sees you for who you are, someone who feels like home.
Queen of Pentacles & Four of Wands—Stability, home, family—this is what’s on your mind. You’re looking for something grounded, something that feels like it lasts. The Queen of Pentacles is practical and nurturing, and with the Four of Wands, there’s a sense of celebration. Could this be a wedding, a reunion, or a coming together with someone from your past? Whatever it is, it’s building toward something beautiful.
Strength & Ace of Pentacles—You’ve got the strength to make this new beginning happen. The Ace of Pentacles is all about tangible, grounded beginnings—whether it’s love, work, or both. But it’s going to take courage. Do you have the strength to face what’s ahead? I know you do.
Five of Cups reversed & Six of Cups—Letting go of past hurts, emotional releases, and embracing the lessons. The Six of Cups is all about reconnection—could it be that someone from your past, someone who means the world to you, is coming back into your life? Or maybe it’s just a new love that feels like it’s been years in the making.
Three of Cups & Eight of Swords reversed—Celebration and release. The Eight of Swords reversed is a reminder that you are no longer trapped by your thoughts or circumstances. It’s time to embrace joy, to surround yourself with people who lift you up and support you.
Ace of Cups & Page of Wands—A new emotional beginning is coming, and it’s going to ignite that spark in you. The Page of Wands suggests excitement, curiosity, and exploration—there’s a sense of newness in your emotional journey, and it’s one that’s going to set your heart on fire.
Page of Swords reversed & Star—Communication could be a little off, but don’t let that stop you. The Star brings hope, healing, and renewal. Even if things aren’t perfect right now, there’s a beautiful future waiting for you.
Moon reversed & Two of Cups—Truth is coming to light. The Moon reversed uncovers secrets, and the Two of Cups brings balance, a true partnership, or union. This is about clarity in love. Whether it's someone from your past or a new, deep connection, this relationship is unfolding just as it’s meant to.
The Bottom of the Deck
Ace of Wands reversed—There’s a delay in the beginning, but it’s coming. This is a slow burn, not a flash fire. When the Ace of Wands comes in reversed, it’s a reminder that sometimes, the most powerful sparks take time to ignite.
Split: The World—A cycle is coming full circle, and you’re about to experience completion, closure, or a new phase. The world is a powerful card of achievement, success, and finally coming into your own.
The Message
Pile 3, you’re entering a chapter full of excitement, love, and undeniable fireworks. Whether you’re about to reconnect with someone special or embrace a brand-new relationship that feels like fate, the energy is palpable. Love is coming in hot, but it’s not without its twists and turns. This journey will be full of moments that make you feel like you’re traveling the world, discovering pieces of yourself along the way. Stay open, stay grounded, and let the universe unfold its magic for you. You’re ready.
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And there you have it, my darlings. Another reading, another wave of energy to sift through. I hope you caught those messages—whether the fireworks, the lace, or the truth that’s just waiting to spill out. Remember, the universe doesn’t speak in straight lines; it whispers through synchronicities, songs stuck in your head, and moments of undeniable connection. Keep your eyes open, your heart even more so, and let things unfold as they should. Until next time, you know where to find me when you need clarity, a nudge, or just a little dose of cosmic truth. Stay fiery, stay fierce, and always keep a little mystery, darling. Xoxo, May.
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dijayeah · 9 days ago
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"You don’t trust me, do you? Let me show you how deeply I can care." //
– An argument after a dangerous mission leads to an intense reconciliation.
🔞NSFW CONTENT MDNI🔞 🐦‍⬛word count: 3.3k 🐦‍⬛synopsis: Sylus has had enough of your reckless decisions, but his frustration spirals into something far more heated, be it for the better or the worse. 🐦‍⬛contains: fem!reader x Sylus, rough sex, evol manipulation (energy attraction/detraction), possessive Sylus, biting/marking, praise-(soft) degradation kink, overstimulation, slight angst, masochistic reader, teasing, edging, intense orgasms, breeding kink undertones (but no pregnancy), aftercare, possessive but tender dynamic, the usual. 🐦‍⬛please consider following me for more similar content! 🐦‍⬛read on ao3.
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The silence between you was suffocating, punctuated only by the low hum of the sleek car as it glided over the uneven terrain in the middle of nowhere. You were still catching your breath from the mission—the adrenaline crash, the heat of danger still clinging to your skin like a second layer.
Sylus sat rigid in the driver’s seat, one hand gripping the wheel while the other rested on his muscled thigh. His jaw was tight, the sharp line of his profile illuminated by the faint blue glow of the console. You knew he was upset—not at the mission’s success, but at you. For what felt like the hundredth time, his gaze flicked to you, smoldering, questioning, disappointed.
“You could’ve been killed back there,” he finally said, his voice low but cutting. “Do you have a death wish, or were you just trying to piss me off going after that wanderer?”
You bristled, turning to glare at him. “I knew what I was doing, Sylus. I didn’t need you swooping in like I’m some rookie hunter who can’t handle herself.”
“Handle herself?” He snorted, bitter and sharp. “You jumped into an unstable tunnel with no backup and barely made it out with that core. If I hadn’t been there—”
“But you were there,” you snapped, cutting him off, just as pissed off. “You always are. So why the hell are you so mad? You act as if you don't understand the kind of job I do, we do.”
He didn’t answer right away, the tension in the rover thickened like heavy smoke, and it made your throat scratchy. His large hand tightened on the wheel, knuckles pale.
“You don’t trust me,” he said finally, the words quiet but laced with something raw, emotional even. “That’s what it is, isn’t it? You don’t trust me to have your back, so you go and risk everything like it doesn’t matter if you make it out or not.”
“That’s not true,” you protested, though even as you said it, you heard the hesitation in your own voice.
Sylus laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “Don’t lie to me, kitten. I see it every time you look at me like you’re waiting for me to let you down. Like I’m one bad call away from screwing everything up for you. Well, I’ve got news: I’ve had your back from day one, even when you didn’t want it. Do you not trust me just because I'm in charge of Onychinus?”
The heat in his words matched the fire sparking in your chest. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t see how much you care? That’s the problem, Sylus! You care too much, and one of these days, it’s going to get you killed, be it your fucking organization or whatever this is.”
The car jerked to a stop, tires grinding against the dirt. You lurched forward slightly, the sudden halt making your breath catch. When you looked at him, his crimson eyes were burning, molten with something that made your pulse quicken.
“Maybe I care too much,” he said, his voice low, almost a growl. “But you don’t get to use that as an excuse to push me away.”
Before you could respond, he leaned over, his big hand curling around your small chin, forcing you to meet his sharp red gaze. The air between you crackled, the thin veil of restraint he’d clung to snapping like a frayed tether.
“You don’t trust me, do you?” His thumb brushed against your jaw, rough and unyielding. “Let me show you how deeply I can care.”
The words hit you like a shockwave, stealing the air from your lungs. His lips crashed against yours, hungry, demanding, as if he were trying to pour every unsaid word, every bottled emotion, into that kiss. Your body reacted instinctively, your hands tangling in his shirt, pulling him closer.
It spiraled from there—his mouth trailing fire down your neck, his hands claiming your body like he was trying to prove a point, to you, to him, it didn't matter.
At some point, he shifted, unbuckling your belt as well as his, pulling you into his lap. The cramped space of the rover was suddenly irrelevant, every thought drowned out by the heat of him, the way he looked at you like you were the only thing anchoring him to this reality.
“Say it,” he demanded, his voice rough against your ear. “Say you trust me.”
You glared at him, defiant even as your body melted under his touch. “You’re such a smug bastard.”
“And you love it,” The silver-haired man shot back, his lips curling into a crooked smirk that was all teeth and arrogance. His hips bucked up sharply, driving a gasp from you as your nails dug into his shoulders. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed, kitten. Every time you glare at me, every time you fight me—you just want me to put you in your place.”
His words made your chest tighten, your breath catching as his hands gripped your hips hard enough to leave bruises. He wasn’t wrong. The way he moved, the way he talked, how he always had to have the last word—it drove you insane. And yet here you were, rolling your hips against his large bulge like you couldn’t get enough of it, of him. God, you needed to fuck this man.
“You’re full of yourself,” you managed to gasp, though the edge in your voice was dulled by the pleasure building with every movement.
The leader of Onychinus chuckled, the sound dark and low as he leaned forward, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Maybe. But you’re the one writhing on top of me, sweetie.”
You wanted to retort, to say something sharp that would wipe the smug look off his face, but the words dissolved into a moan as his hand slid down, pushing your shirt up just enough to expose the curve of your waist. His fingers traced the line of your skin before gripping your hips again, guiding you as you moved on him.
“You’re so fucking stubborn,” he muttered, his crimson eyes half-lidded as he watched you with a mix of hunger and frustration. “Always running off, always pushing me away—but look at you now, going nearly all pliant on me just because of my cock.”
He thrust up into you, sharp and deliberate, and you cried out, your body arching against him. His hands roamed higher, slipping beneath your shirt to splay against your arched back, pulling you closer until your chest was flush against his.
“Say it,” he murmured, his voice softer now but no less commanding. “Say you trust me.”
You bit your lip, defiance flickering in your gaze even as your body betrayed you, moving in perfect rhythm with his. “I—” Your words caught in your throat as his hand slid down, his thumb brushing against the sensitive bundle of nerves between your thighs, through your tight pants.
“Hm, what was that, kitten?” he teased, his smirk widening as he worked you with practiced ease. “Didn’t quite catch it.”
“Fuck, Sylus,” you gasped, your head falling against his shoulder as your nails raked down his muscled arms, through the dark shirt he wore. “I trust you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Yeah,” he rasped, his voice raw with emotion now, the teasing edge giving way to something deeper. “That’s all I ever wanted.”
His lips found yours again, the kiss bruising and desperate, and you felt the tension between you snap like a tightly drawn wire. 
Sylus undressing her, teasing her with the tip of his cock, and stretching her out with his fingers first, all while keeping his sharp, in-character tone.
Sylus’s lips left yours, a string of spit still connecting you as he pulled back, crimson eyes heavy-lidded and gleaming with intent. His hands roamed your body with an almost infuriating slowness, tracing every curve, every soft dip of your skin, like he was memorizing you.
“Shirt first,” he murmured, his voice low, like gravel dragged over silk. His long fingers moved to the fabric clinging to your chest, undoing each button with painstaking precision. “It’s in the way.”
You swallowed hard, heat pooling between your thighs further as he peeled the shirt off your shoulders, his gaze darkening when the fabric fell to your waist. He let his thumb graze over the light lace of your bra, smirking when you shivered.
“Pretty,” he muttered, his tone soft but tinged with something sharper. “Bet you wore this for me, didn’t you, kitten?”
You opened your mouth to protest, but before you could form a single word, his hands slid beneath the fragile straps, tugging the garment down until your tits spilled free. His gaze devoured you, and he let out a low hum of approval before leaning in, his mouth brushing over your collarbone.
“Better,” he murmured, his lips trailing lower. His large hands cupped your breasts, thumbs grazing over your perked-up nipples as he took one into his mouth, sucking softly. The warm, wet drag of his tongue sent a jolt of pleasure straight to your needy core, your nails scraping against his shoulders in response.
“Sylus,” you gasped, your voice breathy and strained as you rocked against him, desperate for more.
“Patience,” he drawled, releasing your nipple with a soft pop. His hands moved to your waistband, unfastening your pants with the same deliberate slowness that made you want to scream. “I’m going to take my time with you. Can’t have you breaking on me too fast.”
He tugged your pants down, dragging the fabric over your thighs with a roughness that sent a shiver through you as you helped him to get rid of them. His hands lingered on the bare skin he revealed, his fingers tracing patterns that made your breath hitch in ways only he was allowed to witness. When he finally stripped you completely, his gaze raked over you with such intensity that it felt like he was laying you bare in more ways than one.
“Fucking perfect,” he muttered, almost to himself, as he shifted beneath you. His own pants were next, the tailored fabric sliding down to reveal thick, muscular thighs and his cock—long, heavy, and already leaking at the pretty tip. You stared, glossed lips agape, and he noticed, his smirk widening as he wrapped a hand around his length.
“I take it you like what you see, hm?” he asked, his tone teasing as he stroked himself slowly, spreading the precum along his length. “Bet you’re already imagining how good it’s going to feel. But not yet.”
Before you could respond, his hand moved to your thigh, spreading you open further on his lap. His fingers trailed up your inner thigh, pausing just before they reached your slick heat over your panties. He let out a low chuckle at the way you squirmed beneath his touch.
“Needy little thing,” he murmured, his tone laced with pure amusement as he pushed your underwear aside. His rough thumb slid through your folds, gathering your arousal and circling your clit with infuriating precision. “Look at you. Pretty fat pussy so wet already. And I haven’t even started.”
You whimpered, your hips jerking against his hand, but he held you down easily with his free arm. He slid one finger inside you, his crimson gaze locked on your face as he curled it just right, making your breath hitch.
“Relax, sweetie,” he muttered, adding a second finger and stretching you with slow, deliberate thrusts. “You can take it. You’re going to have to, if you want this.”
His other hand fell away from your body, wrapping around his cock once more, this time tighter, the tip glistening as he dragged it through your messy folds, mesmerized. The teasing friction made your body ache, your thighs trembling as he tapped the head of his cock against your clit, smearing your sticky glistening arousal over himself.
“See that?” he murmured, his voice dark and low as he watched the way his cock slid against you, slick and obscene. “All of this? That’s mine now. Don’t forget it.”
You moaned, your nails digging into his forearms as he continued to tease you, the blunt head of his cock pressing against your entrance near his fingers before sliding back up to circle your clit again. “Sylus, please—”
“Not until you’re ready,” he cut you off, his fingers thrusting deeper, stretching you until your body softened beneath him. “And when you are, you’ll beg me for it.”
His teasing smirk was still in place as he finally pulled his fingers away then, positioning himself at your entrance. He paused, his crimson gaze locking with yours. “Gonna beg, or no?”
“I want it,” you breathed, your voice trembling but certain. “I want you, Sylus. Please.”
The smirk softened into something deeper, more dangerous, as he pushed in slowly, inch by inch, the stretch making you gasp as he filled you completely. He hissed low in his throat, his head falling forward against yours as he bottomed out.
“Fuck,” he rasped, his breath hot against your lips. “You feel even better than I imagined.”
“You asked for it,” he growled, his voice rough and strained as he thrust into you, the sound of your bodies meeting filling the cramped space of the car. “Begged for it, actually. So take it.”
His hands gripped your hips with bruising intensity, guiding your movements as you writhed on top of him. Each snap of his hips forced you to take him deeper, harder, the stretch and friction igniting every nerve in your body. Your cries filled the vehicle, but the leader of Onychinus wasn’t satisfied—not yet.
“Look at you,” he rasped, his crimson gaze flicking to where you were joined. “Such a pretty little thing, grinding on me. But I can make you feel even better.”
A faint shimmer of red pulsed from his right eye, and you felt it—an invisible pull, like his hands were everywhere at once. Your body jolted as his Evol flared, the sensation of his energy manipulating the space around you adding an electrifying layer to the way he moved inside you. You gasped as you were pulled downward with more force, his cock driving even deeper, hitting spots that made your vision blur.
“Fuck,” you choked out, your hands bracing against his chest, your nails raking over the taut muscle there. “Sylus—what the hell are you—”
“Shh,” he interrupted, a wicked grin spreading across his face. His right eye glowed brighter, the crimson shimmer swirling like molten fire. “Just making it easier for you to bounce on my cock, sweetie. Thought you wanted it rough? Or do you want it soft? Are you trying to be hard to please?”
The pull of his Evol guided your hips, lifting and dropping you in perfect rhythm with his own thrusts. It was relentless, merciless, and utterly intoxicating. Each time you were forced down, his cock filled you completely, the pressure making your head spin. Your walls clenched around him, and his growl deepened, low and feral. The car was filled with obscene squelching sounds as you both listened to them.
“You feel that?” he murmured, his voice laced with dark amusement. “That’s all me, kitten. Every inch of you is mine right now.”
Your thighs trembled as his energy pulsed again, the invisible force amplifying the intensity of every movement. It was overwhelming in the best way, your body arching against his as your cries turned into desperate moans. You clawed at his crumpled black shirt, yanking it open further to expose more of his pale skin.
“God, Sylus,” you gasped, leaning forward to kiss along his neck, your teeth grazing the sharp line of his jaw. “S-so close—”
The crimson shimmer flickered across your body now, the heat of his energy wrapping around you like an extension of him. Every nerve in your body felt alive, hyper-sensitive to his touch, the drag of his cock, the sharp edge of his teeth as he bit down on your shoulder in response.
The bite sent a jolt of pain that melted into goosebumps, your nails digging deeper into his chest as your body instinctively arched into his even more, if that was possible. Sylus growled against your skin, his teeth leaving faint indentations before he soothed the mark with his tongue softly, a possessive gesture that made your breath catch.
“Fuck, I can feel you trembling,” he muttered, his voice thick and gravelly, the faint glow in his eye flaring brighter. His hips snapped up harder, the relentless rhythm of his Evol working with him, pushing you closer to the edge. “You gonna break for me, kitten? Let me feel you fall apart around my cock.”
You whimpered in response, your mind hazy with the overwhelming sensations coursing through you. The heat of his energy, the rough drag of his girthy dick, the way his voice curled around your ears like a command—it was too much and not enough all at once.
“Say it,” The leader of the Onychinus demanded, his hands gripping your plush ass now, the force of his thrusts slamming you down onto him as his Evol guided the motion. The shimmering red energy flickered along your skin where the two of you were connected, a physical manifestation of his control, and the sight of it made your walls flutter around him. “Say who’s fucking you this good.”
“You,” you gasped, your voice breaking as the coil in your core tightened to the point of snapping. “It’s you, Sylus. Only you.”
“Good,” he growled, his grin sharp and dangerous. “And this pretty little pussy? Mine. All mine.”
His words sent you over the edge, your body tightening around him in a vicious grip as your orgasm hit like a tidal wave. Your vision blurred, and you cried out his name, your nails leaving deep scratches on his chest as you rode out the waves of pleasure. Sylus groaned at the way you clenched around him, his thrusts turning erratic as he chased his own release.
“Fuck,” he snarled, his head falling back against the seat as he drove into you one last time, his cock buried to the hilt as he came. His warmth filled you, hot, thick, and overwhelming, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise as he spilled his cum into you.
For a moment, the world seemed to still, the only sounds the ragged breaths you both struggled to catch. Sylus’s hands softened their hold on you, sliding up to your waist as the crimson shimmer of his Evol faded into nothingness. His other hand brushed the sweat off your brow, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
“You’re a goddamn mess,” he muttered, though his tone was softer now, almost fond. His fingers traced lazy circles against your skin as he leaned back to look at you, his smirk returning as his crimson eyes met yours. “A pretty one, though. I’ll give you that.”
You let out a breathless laugh, leaning forward to press a peck to his jaw. “You’re one to talk,” you murmured, your voice still shaky as you settled against his chest. “Look at you. All smug and yet ruined just as much. I wonder what Luke and Kieran would have to say if they saw their boss like this?”
His smirk widened, his arms wrapping around you to pull you closer. “Ruined, huh?” he repeated, his voice low and teasing. “Sweetie, from what I believe we’re just getting started.”
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