#but what the FUCK is up with the hotflashes

[painted--constellations]

fuck hot flashes, all my homies hate hot flashes

[archangeldyke-all]

Idk I get a lot of strange (or not) thoughts

pregnant Sevika...

OKAY LETS GIVE LITTLE FUCKER A LITTLE FRIEND HEHEHEHE

(don't ask me how sevika got pregnant by reader when reader's already been pregnant by sevika-- they're both trans, or it's piltover tech, or sev and reader have found the strap that gets u pregnant-- idk u pick)

men and minors dni

sevika is three months pregnant before either of you realize.

little fucker was relatively planned and expected. and after your baby is brought into the world-- you and sevika kinda figured that that was it.

one baby is plenty. and little fucker is a handful. and your birth was complicated enough that the doctors told you the chances of you being pregnant again were pretty unlikely. and both you and sevika are getting older.

so neither of you even consider that sevika could be pregnant when she starts getting sick in the mornings.

for the longest time, you're both convinced that little fucker's brought a germ home from kindergarten-- a germ that sevika just can't shake.

when she eating more, when she starts putting weight on around her middle, you just assume it's because it's getting to be winter. sevika's weight always fluxes throughout the seasons-- she's always putting on a few extra pounds of padding before the winter, it's only natural...

sure, it's a little weird that most of the weight she's gaining is in her stomach instead of on her thighs like usual, but she's getting older, and metabolisms and bodies change as they age! right??

you don't figure it out until little fucker pats sevika's swollen stomach one evening, giggling before blinking up at her mom. "are you growing a baby in here mommy?"

you laugh from where you're spooning your daughter-- but you quickly start to sputter at the look of shock and realization on sevika's face.

you sit up in little fucker's bed, raising your eyebrows as you study your wife. sevika's looking at you with wide eyes. "b-babe..." she whispers.

you both launch out of your daughter's bed, little fucker squealing with laughter as you scoop her up in your arms and shove your shoes and jackets on-- all three of you sprinting to the car and speeding to the nearest pharmacy. your daughter has no idea what her moms are freaking out about-- she's just happy to be on an adventure past her bedtime.

as you drive, sevika panics in the passenger's seat.

"i can't be-- i-i just started menopause!" she says. you chuckle.

"did you, though?" you ask. "you're still in your forties, babe. that's young for menopause... maybe the hotflashes and cramps and cravings and lack of periods were all--"

"oh my fucking god!" sevika groans.

"bad word, mommy!" little fucker squeals in the backseat.

the test is positive, because of course it is.

this isn't the biggest shock, though. that comes a few days later, when you take her in for her first ultrasound.

you're both anxious and stressed-- excited for another baby in your house and worried about how you'll be able to balance having two kids; worried about sevika being pregnant so late in life; trying to figure out how much another kid is going to cost-- the usual concerns.

and then the doctor gasps.

"what?!" you ask, grabbing sevika's hand in yours.

you've only known she's pregnant for a few days, but your protective instincts have already kicked into high gear. you understand now why sevika couldn't keep her hands off of you when you were carrying little fucker. that's your baby in there.

"uh, well... you're having twins!" the doctor says, smiling at you.

you blink rapidly, shocked; and sevika bursts into hysterical, tired laughter.

for a while, you're both too stressed to be excited about your rapidly expanding family.

but you figure it out eventually.

silco and vander are thrilled-- they've been trying to push their multiple kids agenda on the two of you for years now-- and they come over all the time, dragging their kids (all teenagers now) with them, helping you prepare your house for two more babies.

other parents at little fucker's school start lending you and sevika old baby strollers and clothes and bottles, giving you slightly sympathetic looks when they find out you're going to be having two babies at the same time.

in the end, what manages to push you over the brink from 'hesitant and anxious' to 'excited and ready' is little fucker's reaction.

you and sevika sit her down one night, sevika five and a half months pregnant but looking closer to eight, and you gently explain to her that your family's going to be growing soon-- that she's going to be a big sister.

little fucker bursts into tears of joy and excitement, reaching forward to gently pet her mommy's belly blinking up at both of you with watery eyes. "th-there's babies in here?" she asks, grinning.

sevika bursts into tears at her reaction, and you giggle, wrapping your crying girls up into a hug.

"there's two babies in there, and they're so excited to meet you, baby." you whisper, pressing a kiss to her head.

your daughter takes to feeding her mom treats constantly, saying she wants her baby siblings to get to taste chocolate cake, or cookies, or her gummy worms. sevika loves it.

little fucker also becomes insanely protective of her mommy sev, constantly rubbing her swollen belly with her tiny hand, bringing her glasses of water, her little feet thumping around the house as she sprints to and from the living room to bring sevika the pillows she needs to lay down comfortably.

sevika's pregnancy is about as healthy as a mid forties, twin pregnancy can be. which is to say; she's uncomfortable and sore all the fucking time; but she's got no serious complications or symptoms.

her cravings are hilarious. usually, sevika loves a rich, hearty meal-- a meat in some sauce or gravy, poured over rice or noodles. she usually likes spice and citrus and bold flavors.

but now she's pregnant, and more than anything else in the world, sevika just wants to eat plain, white bread. she doesn't even want, like, a freshly baked loaf. she wants the cheap stuff, the kind you can smush into a ball in your hand.

she eats like a loaf of the stuff a day-- not even toasted, no butter or jelly or peanutbutter on top-- just the plain, white bread.

it's that and sour cream. not greek yogurt-- it has to be sour cream. sevika eats it like ice cream.

the biggest challenge sevika faces is learning to let go and let you and little fucker care for her.

she's so used to being the protector-- the one who takes care of things. it's how she shows her love. she feels useless when she's too round to even get off the couch.

you make an effort to remind her that love goes both ways. and that she's showing you how much she loves you each and every day, even when she's just sitting around and farting-- she's growing your children inside of her.

you make an effort for both of you to spend one-on-one time with little fucker. you don't want her to feel left behind as you anticipate her siblings.

sevika takes her on nightly walks to the little corner shop down the street to get herself moving and spend time with her baby, buying her candy or chips or soda once they arrive.

little fucker is adorably patient with her mom-- waiting for her to catch her breath after walking a block or two, holding her hand the entire way to and from the shop, waiting patiently each time sevika has to stop at a local business to pee.

you've been taking your daughter to the local pet store, wanting to get her a companion that is hers and hers alone-- something she won't have to share with her siblings.

she decides she wants a frog. you both spend your evenings curled in her bed, reading about frog-pet care, and how to assemble a frog's enclosure, and how many times a day to feed it and clean it.

and then, when you're both ready and educated, you take her to the store and buy her her very first pet.

she's thrilled.

she names the frog 'sissy'-- so excited to be a big sister that she's decided the frog is her sibling as well.

you and sevika check in on her that night and find her curled around the glass tank the frog lives in, sleeping soundly.

when the babies come, little fucker goes to silco's house while you and sevika go to the hospital.

you've never been more in love with sevika in your entire life than you are in that moment, watching her give birth to not one, but both of your children.

her delivery is fast. she nearly gives birth in the car ride to the hospital. while you planned on sevika getting an epidural-- by the time they got her in the hospital gown, the first baby was already crowning.

it's a blessing and a curse-- sevika's in a lot of pain but it's over almost as fast as it began.

and afterwards, you crawl into bed beside your wife, holding her and wiping her tears away. "you're the most important, amazing thing that's ever happened to me." you whisper. sevika sniffles, smiling at you. "fuck, thank you so much, baby." you say, kissing her forehead.

the doctors hand you each one of your babies, and you and sevika burst into tears at the exact same moment.

identical sisters; both so much tinier than little fucker was from being squished together inside their mommy; both grumpliy scrunching their faces at the new lights and sounds they've been bombarded with.

"oh my god." you sob.

sevika's got her face buried against your neck, one of her babies held to her chest. "they're fucking perfect." she cries.

they have sevika's nose, sevika's lips, sevika's beautiful eyes. you should've known that your genes didn't stand a chance against sevika's after little fucker came out looking like her twin. "they're gorgeous." you sob.

they look so fucking familiar, like you've known them your entire life even though you just laid eyes on them.

it isn't until little fucker comes sprinting into the hospital, jinx and silco trailing behind her with takeout from sevika's favorite restaurant, that you realize why your babygirls look so familiar.

she crawls into the hospital bed between you and sevika, gasping and gently reaching out to touch her baby sisters, tears welling up in her big eyes as she gasps. "they look like me." she whispers.

it hits you then-- and she's exactly right. even more than their mommy sev-- your new baby girls look like your first baby girl.

sevika bursts into tears as it hits her, and little fucker giggles, kissing her mom's cheek, then gently bending forward to kiss her sisters' foreheads.

you wrap your family up in your arms, squeezing as tight as you can with a newborn in your grasp, and something deep inside of you settles.

"how are we supposed to tell 'em apart?" your daughter asks. sevika giggles.

"look, i already figured it out." she whispers. "this one with the freckle? she bit my boob when i was feeding her, so she's my 'baby shithead.'"

you groan and gently elbow your wife as she and little fucker burst into laughter at the nickname.

"what about this one?" little fucker asks, pointing at the baby in your arms.

"she pooped all over the nurses when they were cleaning her up. she's my 'baby stinkybutt.'" sevika says.

little fucker's squealing with laughter, and sevika's smiling so big and bright that you think you might go blind with it.

you sigh, and wrap all your girls up in your arms one more time. you don't ever want to let go.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re

@raphaellearp @iamastar @sevikitty @claude999

[hauntedppgpaints]

wait good morning please please talk about your a/b/o au. sitting so patiently and interested

WAUHG ty for asking im in love with this au

it all started with this post (thank you for your tags cam) about a younger alpha fucking an older omega out of menopause and back into fertility. cam's tags about bee and EJ caught my attention, and i brought it up to some friends in a hockeyblr discord. almost 1000 messages later, and it's a whole, league-wide au.

(TW for discussion of fertility issues, miscarriage, and abortion under the cut. CW for various kinks, including free use, and some questionable age gaps in relationships)

the pairings so far are (and bear with me, there are some weird pairings):

joel farabee(A)/erik johnson(O) and dylan larkin(A)/steve yzerman(O) in a polycule

Sasha Barkov(A)/Roberto Luongo(O)

Matthew Tkachuk(A)/Paul Maurice(O)

Auston Matthews(A)/Patrick Marleau(O)

Matthew Knies(A)/John Tavares(O)

William Nylander(A)/Henrik Lundqvist(O)

Dylan Strome(A)/Alex Ovechkin(O)/Nicklas Backstrom(O)

Quinn Hughes(A)/Henrik Sedin(O)Daniel Sedin(O)

Connor Dewar(A)/Brandon Duhaime(A)/Marc-Andre Fleury(O)

Connor Bedard(A)/Nick Foligno(O)

Tim Stutzle(A)/Claude Giroux(O)

Sean Couturier(A)/Danny Briere(O)

it started with me finding the idea of bee breeding EJ really hot, here's a little snippet i wrote about it:

bee meeting ej and loving his scent, but a certain previous captain he had taught him all about respecting an older Omega's space, especially in a new environment like getting traded to a new team. so he greets EJ like normal, and keeps his nose to himself. until EJ goes through a hotflash, and his scent pours out of him. EJ himself is fine, mildly irritated about the hotflash, but nothing else. his pheromones, however, are going fucking bonkers. and Bee is open-mouthed panting over the smell and it is known that alpha saliva can help soothe cramps eventually the hot flashes get so strong that bee has to say something. "hey, ej… if you ever. uh. need any help with anything, you can. hit me up, anytime, bud." ej just tilts his head in obvious confusion. way to explain yourself, bee. "like… with your-" another hot flash comes, and ej's scent of ripe omega floods the room. bee cant help the sudden pooling of alpha saliva that falls out of his mouth. he wipes it away as best he can. "with your heat flashes, or whatever." he explains. ej furrows his brow more, until it hits him, what bee is trying to say. his scent sours, and he curls in on himself a little. "sorry, i know i smell horrible right now. i'll get better scent blockers soon." bee's jaw drops. "no!! do not-" get with the program, bee. "you don't smell bad, bud. you smell-" more alpha drool. "fuck, dude, you smell so fucking good. i just wanted to. y'know. offer my help, if you ever need it." Cut to Bee, nose deep in EJ's cunt. EJ's got a fistful of Bee's hair, keeping him right where he wants him as Bee eats him out. Bee has his hand around his knot, because it fucking hurts, how hard he is, but he's happy right where he is. He'll knot his own fist, if EJ prefers it. Anything to get at the source of the smell. EJ doesn't experience full heats anymore, since he's going through menopause. he doesn't think he can get pregnant anymore, so he doesnt bother with a condom and he fucking loves how Bee fills him. he honestly thinks that even if he could get pregnant, he wouldnt put a condom on Bee because he's addicted to how much cum Bee fills him with

then it evolved to bee getting EJ pregnant, and EJ announcing his retirement, only to miscarry. bee and ej mourn for a long time, and eventually steve yzerman reaches out to them when word gets through the league grapevine what they're going through, and talks to them about carrying a child when the omega is older (since he and dylan went through it as well.)

the four of them bond over being old omega/young alpha couples, and they eventually all start sleeping together.

bee & ej do try again, and it takes- twins.

some of their kinks include a lot of switching (bee loves getting fucked by any designation), cockwarming (EJ buys a faux knot and knots Bee's mouth, and Bee falls into subspace right then and there), a LOT of wet&messy sex, frottage, kneeling, dirty talk about bitching bee from both ej and dylan

the team starts gossiping about Bee having two omegas at home And he overhears but doesn’t get it cause. He technically does have two omegas at home. And another alpha. But he doesn’t get the connotation of it “Yeah, EJ and Stevie” “Who tf is stevie” “Yzerman” “YOU HAVE STEVE YZERMAN AT YOUR HOUSE?” "Yeah, he's nesting with EJ right now" "STEVE YZERMAN IS NESTING WITH YOUR OMEGA?" "Okay first of all, EJ isn't mine, so go ahead and jot that down" “And Dylan’s hanging out with me, making sure I can keep the rest of the house safe” “Dylan….” “Larkin” “You have a rival team’s Captain and GM in your house, helping you through the post-pregnancy nesting.” So many teammates are gonna be like "... are you fucking Steve Yzerman." "I mean. he's usually fucking me, but yeah, sometimes." "WHAT"

This polycule is perfect because whenever Bee wants to do stereotypical alpha shit (very rare, usually only if the rut is really bad), he’ll go to Dylan instead of EJ and they can fight and fuck nasty through the worst of it When he’s at the peak of his rut, and he knows he wants a knot in his ass, instinct is fighting tooth and nail to not take a knot, so he knows Dylan can fight/wrestle him down and make him take one (consent was given prior to rut). Even as it swells inside him he’s gonna fight and claw at Dylan, even as his ass greedily milks Dylan’s knot

and now we move on to matthew tkachuk/paul maurice.

matthew, who's own rut cycle is a fucking mess when he gets to the panthers. it takes several months of a lot of visiting dynamic doctors and therapists to learn ways to handling his body trying to self-regulate after getting out of a really stressful situation with his previous team & coach.

It's after a good practice when a pseudo rut hits. Everyone is already showered and getting ready to pack up and head out, when Matthew hunches over with a quiet grunt. Scents and sounds become suddenly almost overwhelming- he can smell each and every teammate's scent, can identify everyone's secondary gender, and it's a lot. He keeps his eyes shut as he starts to do the breathing and focus exercises the trainers had taught him when his pheromones started going all whacky. He loses track of time, and when he opens his eyes, the locker room is empty. Except for Paul. Who is an omega. That Matthew is definitely into. But he's the head coach. But- "You alright, Matthew?" Paul asks. His scent (which is normally slightly muted, due to age) is in full bloom right now, ripe and making Matthew's mouth water. "Yeah," He pauses to wipe some drool about to fall out of his mouth. Gross. "Yeah, just. Dealing with some shit right now. Sorry if I smell gross." Matthew replies, shifting in his pants to try and give his hardening cock some breathing room. Paul catches the move, and his scent is. Hm. Definitely interested.

as their relationship progresses, they learn that, while matthew certainly likes the idea of getting fucked by paul, his body has an overwhelmingly negative reaction to it. no matter how they try, his alpha hind-brain just says no. but matthew is undoubtedly the submissive one in their relationship. thankfully, paul can work with that.

“Stay.” Paul commands with a point. Matthew squirms briefly, but stays kneeling in front of the couch, naked as the day he was born. Paul turns and heads to his room to grab a few extra towels, and a toy for Matthew. By the time he gets back, Matthew has his cock in hand, slowly grinding his knot into his fist. “Stop that.” Paul barks, and Matthew lets his cock go like it’s on fire. Paul drapes a few towels down on the couch, one at the foot of the couch in front of Matthew, and offers Matthew the toy. It’s basically a fleshlight, meant to lock around an alpha’s knot and pulse. “Put this on.” Matthew pauses briefly, before taking the toy and slowly fitting it over his knot, whimpering as it locks into place. As he does, Paul undresses, and sits down on the couch. Matthew starts open-mouthed panting at the scent of a horny omega, flushing bright red at the sight of Paul’s cunt and legs covered in slick. “How good are you at eating pussy, Chucky?” Matthew somehow manages to tear his eyes away from Paul’s cunt, and grins briefly. “Wanna find out?”

JESUS this got really long. if anyone wants to know more hmu

[mapleshmaple]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

[coridallasmultipass]

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[forevrdreamingofbetterthings]

You don't have to answer this if it's too private or whatev, but do you ever smoke recreationally, or just for pain management?

I don’t really have that luxury to be honest because I’m ALWAYS in pain. But sometimes when the pain isn’t too bad and I could live without it, I may smoke anyway if I feel like it. Still, I don’t exactly get “high” when I smoke bc the meds are actively busy addressing my neurological problems. So even when the pain & other problems are low and I smoke, it’s still just to make myself that much more comfortable. 

But a lot of the time I actually NEED to smoke but don’t and just sit and suffer, like right this very fucking second and I’m upset with myself for it but i don’t always feel like smoking either. And I have a terrible cough right now and my chronic pancreatitis is acting up so every time I cough it hurts like hell so I’m kinda iffy about doing that too... 

I honestly don’t know what I’d do without pot though, particularly with my temperature/hotflash/anxiety sweating situation. Like.... right this very moment... I should really roll.... I have got to stop with the self harm :( 

[absurdtamsin]

The contraceptive saga continues!...

And I fear it must end.

I've been getting the kind of serious anxiety after taking each pill that straight up keeps me awake at night. It's 5:00am and I have yet to sleep after taking last night's pill at 9:00pm. I'm still somewhat anxious, and hyperaware of my heart and its irregular beating and occasional jolting twitch. And each of those gives me intense sweating and hotflash.

I have been awake since 6:00am yesterday. I'm going to crash tonight. It seems the only way I can avoid the sweats, heart freakouts and anxiety is by being so exhausted that simply collapse and don't wake up even for a crashing car noise.

I can't live like this anymore. All the benefits of taking vitamin B12 are simply gone since I started taking this pill. I'm back to almost no sleep, poor focus and no memory.

I don't know what else I could possibly take to help with menstrual pain. Estrogen pills are out, combination estrogen/progesterone pills are out, and now progesterone only pills are doing this to me.

I can't just keep eating painkillers like candy for 3-4 days every month just to keep myself functional through all of the pain. I'll either fuck up my liver or my stomach, and now my heart is making it clear that it is also at risk from my attempts to ease the pain.

I'm honestly at a loss. I don't know what to do anymore. Anything I choose ends with messing up my body in damaging ways.

I'll go see another pharmacist tomorrow, but I suspect they will either tell me to stop taking the pills, or act like the last one I went to and just keep pushing the idea that it just can't be the pills, this kind is super safe and the lowest dose possible, it can't be the pills...

Fuck I'm tired. I can't stand the pain anymore. Just let me rip out my uterus already, I'm never gonna use it for babies anyway. Just let the pain stop.