#but what makes me angry is think about the people that take things very personally or maybe have heavy depression or things like this and
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deadbydad · 13 hours ago
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Captain Curly (Mouthwashing) - When You Can't Fix Everything and Why He's a Victim of Jimmy
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There are many discussions surrounding Captain Curly all around the internet on whether he is a good person or not.
Some say he isn't while some say he is, but the question simply has an easy answer.
Curly is a morally grey character.
Captain Curly, when we first play as him and see through his perspective, we come to learn a lot about him with the short amount of sections where we do play as him.
We know that he is very optimistic, he cares deeply for his crew and always tries to look on the bright side of things. He just wants everything to be fine, and will always try to fix it if it isn't because, well because he's the captain.
But him being so optimistic is what was his downfall, and I think that's what makes him such a well written and realistic, morally grey character.
Curly isn't innocent, but he is a victim of Jimmy just like everyone else on the ship is.
Let me explain.
Curly was the first person Anya told about when Jimmy assaulted her and how she was pregnant, and Curly told her he would talk to Jimmy.
He would fix it.
I hate when people say that he didn't care about Anya or didn't believe her. Curly never said he didn't believe her, and he never said he was defending Jimmy either.
This is one of the examples of his optimistic views doesn't work out for him.
We know that Curly invited Jimmy to work with him in Pony Express and we immediately assume that because they're friends, then Curly is defending Jimmy.
But if you replay and really pay attention to Curly and Jimmy's conversations, you come to realize that Jimmy is borderline controlling and abusive with the way he talks to Curly.
He isn't and doesn't see Curly as a friend, but Curly being too nice and tends to look past that type of stuff, that made it easy for Jimmy to manipulate Curly.
After Anya told him, Curly did talk to Jimmy about it, but he went about it in a calm way. I think what he did is pretty realistic for the situation they're in, but I'll talk more about that later.
Curly talking to Jimmy is what led Jimmy to crash the ship and get Curly injured and fuck everything else up. Not to mention that Jimmy wanting to get rid of Curly so he could be captain also played a huge part in it.
Jimmy never saw Curly as a friend, he only saw him as someone he could use to get what he wanted.
Curly trying to fix what happened by talking to Jimmy was his wake up call, his karma in a way.
Because of the crash, Curly understands Anya in a way when Jimmy starts to hurt and force him to take the pain meds. Curly being brutally hurt and injured can only lay and not do anything to stop it.
He finally understood what Anya had felt in a way, and he probably hates himself because he didn't do something to protect her.
And her killing herself in front of him and watching the rest of his crew die to the hands or consequences of Jimmy, even Jimmy himself, was what made Curly realize that he simply can't fix everything.
Curly is absolutely a victim of Jimmy like everyone else on the ship is.
He was manipulated, abused, and not to mention Jimmy literally ate some of his body. All of this was because Curly was too optimistic.
Curly is one of the most realistic characters, and I think people saying that he's as bad as Jimmy just aren't thinking about the fact that he was a victim of Jimmy himself.
Yes, he could have done more to protect Anya, most likely by switching her over to a room that has locks.
But I believe that he couldn't do anything besides that, especially when it comes to Jimmy.
He knows how crazy and angry Jimmy gets. He was probably thinking that he couldn't just go up to him and start a fight because, let's be real, Jimmy was going to kick Curlys ass and he was probably going to crash the ship no matter what.
Curly, in my opinion, while yes, he didn't do anything to protect Anya, he wasn't protecting or defending Jimmy.
Curly was trying to look at how he could fix it, but I think no matter what he did it wouldn't have mattered.
I see people saying that Curly could have shot Jimmy with the gun or locked him up in another room or contacted the higher-ups of Pony Express. I don't think any of this would have realistically worked.
One, he can't kill Jimmy because he is the co-pilot, and they needed a co-pilot for the ship, and locking him in a room wouldn't have worked either.
Curly couldn't have called the higher ups either because Pony Express wouldn't have done anything because they simply just don't care about their workers.
No matter what Curly did or what he could have done, none of it realistically would have worked or done anything to solve the problem.
I'm not defending Curly at all, I'm a victim of assault myself, so I understand Anyas feelings, I'm simply saying that we should look at the other possibilities and should start thinking about what Curly was actually thinking before saying he was as terrible as Jimmy.
Curly isn't innocent, but he was a victim of Jimmy.
His optimistic views on life and on people are what caused his downfall.
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sapphiresaphics · 2 days ago
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The reason why I keep bringing up media literacy and bad faith criticisms is because of things like this. Follow along if you can!
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^^^———
I saw this post the other day where this person suggested that the reason Vi didn’t get as much character development was because the writers didn’t know what to do with her. That’s a pretty bold statement to make. I’ve certainly not heard any of the writers express that opinion at all. So where did this idea come from? What interview provided us with that look behind the scenes?
Luckily someone asked for a source, and they obliged! And my friends… this gets weirder…
The “source” ends up being this game journalism article:
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This is an entire article dedicated to basically interpreting, reframing, and summarizing…. A tweet.
A single tweet by Christian Linke.
An entire article that took his response to a question WAY out of proportion and infused it with more meaning than was intended.
Here’s the original tweet. A user ask’s about VI’s character being less prominent, and his response is basically “we had a lot of characters” which is true. There were a lot of characters to squeeze in appropriate amounts of time for. Vi included. Here’s the original tweet:
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It’s really not much at all, is it? This isn’t him admitting they didn’t know what to do with her, or that they abandoned her storyline or anything like that. All he said was there were a lot of characters and as a result Vi got a little less screen time as a matter of fact. Nothing more, nothing less.
But here’s how the game article summarized things:
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^^^———
So do you see what I’m getting at here? A fan asks a reasonable question, and Linke gives a very straightforward answer. This is picked up and interpreted by the games journalist reporter and given far greater weight that it deserves, including a flashy headline. People see this and add even MORE of their own personal biases and exaggerated opinions and spread that around… and before long that innocent tweet somehow is “proof they didn’t know what to do with Vi and that’s why her arc was reduced to X thing I didn’t like!”
Swirling around Season 2 of Arcane is this weird game of telephone where with each step of the journey the original message is getting lost and distorted and twisted around. Unfortunately when a quote is this ambiguous, it leaves it open to interpretation. I’ve seen this same tweet be used to explain why every character had “bad writing.”
And the games journalist isn’t technically wrong in their coverage… after all, all they did was post the tweet and then re-summarize the same tweet. But by taking what the fan asked and twisting it into “Arcane lead explains why Vi felt like a side character” as an article headline, they’ve distorted the original interaction and infused it with this twinge of negativity designed to get you angry enough to click on the article.
Arcane Season 2 had a lot of story to tell with a lot of characters. As a result Vi’s screen time was slightly reduced. Doesn’t matter that out of all the characters she has the most screen time across both seasons. Nothing about acknowledging that as a simple fact explains motivations behind the writing of her arc in season 2 at all. It says nothing about her pitfighter phase, her relationship with Caitlyn, or her final battle fight with Jinx and Warwick. But if you were already critical of season 2, this gives you a plausible air of credibility for whatever “reasons” you think they did what they did. And then you just spread this fabrication to the internet where it just snowballs out of control.
So much of the negativity surrounding Arcane Season 2 is the result of this game of telephone and it’s really starting to bother me. And when you label overblown garbage like this as “arcane critical” then I genuinely believe you’re doing this on purpose and you don’t have an original thought in your body. You’re not being critical, you’re just letting your ignorance and biases control everything. This is bad faith argument construction at it’s worst.
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ii-meeple-confessions · 1 day ago
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Honestly the way Mephone's contestants react to him in general and them realizing "Oh this guy is kind of messed up" is so funny to me. Because as much as Mephone tries to hide it through the host persona he pushes onto himself to seem normal, it really doesn't work.
Even before everything (This was in 2016, for reference! -- And this is one of my favourite things ever -- Fan, on his blog, wrote what is essentially a Mephone4 Fanfiction (The link is here: it's on his blog! If you care to read it in full..... https://www.tumblr.com/inanimateinsanityfan/150341850210/fan-blog-confessions-i-confess-i-forced-someone?source=share) (sorry the link doesn't actually work when you click on it) And one of the lines was: "M: Alright.  I just kind of have trouble verbalizing what I really want to say?  So a lot of my thoughts just come out as these little attacks." Continuing into "M: Yeah... they’re just so second nature to me, I say them to fill in the gaps... otherwise I wouldn’t really know how to chime in."
And I think its genuinely so funny that Fan read him that well. Be it fanfiction and projection or not, Fan is right here! Mephone has trouble verbalizing and complimenting others. (Probably because he himself wasn't often complimented by Cobs--) and it leads him to ruining potential relationships. He stokes flames of distrust between him and other people to keep himself safe and entertained, and then gets upset when he's all alone because he can't build meaningful relationships with people.
And people realize this really quickly. For another example, take Mepad. Who quickly comes to see Mephone is wrong in his judgement towards Toilet and in his treatment of the contestants. Or Suitcase, who comforts Mephone multiple times-- I'd have to lag my computer into oblivion to get the exact quote/s, but she's very keenly aware that Mephone isn't alright at that time, and she verbalizes that. The final 4 of season 2 AND season 3 all seem to be aware of Mephones mental health declining.
And again, he DOES try to hide this. When he's upset over Mepad quitting / doesn't know how to handle it, he jumps into his obnoxious host persona to hide his true feelings on the matter. He pushes and shoves and lights a ring of fire around himself, sacrificing his relationships in return for the safety of his host persona.
Right out of Meeple, some of his first memories of freedom, ARE of being a host. He was basically immediately (unknowingly) enlisted by Cobs to be a host. In escaping Meeple and the persona he had to take on to appease Cobs, he fit himself right into another persona. Another set of rules to follow on how to behave to, in his eyes, stay safe.
It fucks me up so bad because the entire personality he constructed for himself ruins so many of his relationships and thus sinks him into a deeper pit of loneliness. At its core, it's self-sabotaging, and I think it's clearest in "Truth or Flare" (S2 E15) when Mepad quits. I mentioned this before!! But GOD it hits so hard. The way Suitcase says she legitimately hates him and he justs stands there stupidly grinning "I'm a scamp for drama!" No sir you are a scamp for ruining your relationships!
All of this rambling is to say Mephones persona is really one of his undoings. Forcing himself into the mold of reality show tv host isn't... Good for him. And it becomes his safety net when it really shouldn't. It hurts me, to see him so earnestly playing it up when we see him interviewing Box. Trying to seem like a seasoned professional, unbothered, but perking up when complimented. But as the series goes on, that host persona becomes a much more angry and unlikeable person. Hardly any good comes from his insults and comments. And he ruins many of the chances he has to make genuine connections with people-- which is something he so desperately needs.
Sorry if this is a little unstructured! I didn't begin this thinking it'd get so long, so it's a bit all over the place. Can you tell I think about Mephone a lot? Anyways, good night! -2G Anon
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citrusai · 1 month ago
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago
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Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!
There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!
I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)
And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.
#there’s a whole other bit to this about how like. it’s hard for fandom to hold the idea that someone can be both a victim and abusive#at the same time. that the ways someone has been hurt don’t always shape them into kindness and wide-eyed sympathy. occasionally it just#makes them hard to live with. and I think most obviously is the thing that a lot of what Dean does is an expression of love. of protection.#he’s very much his father’s son in that way. that’s why Sam. the guy he’s been Told to protect his whole life. is also the person he ends up#hurting the most. it’s tragedy. it’s realistic. it’s a good fucking mess.#and that’s why I don’t get interpretations of dean that are determined to shave off the ugly parts of his character. to me those are the#parts that make him a character worth revisiting. he’s so full of love. and he uses it to hurt people. he means to sometimes. a lot of the#time he doesn’t but hurts them anyway. he has been shaped by violence his whole life. and it’s just. I get why someone might take this#part of him away. to make him easier to love. because I get that he’s stressful to watch also like I get that. but he is.#he is compelling. in his anger and his controlling behavior and his strangling love. he is compelling in all the ways he has become this.#Dean’s degradation into these behaviors can be both a failure of a show that ran to long but also the believable trajectory of a man who#can’t heal. and I love him for that. I love him for emerging from pain as a angry sharp thing. I love that it brings the glimpses of him#being gentler and recognizing his actions as bad into stark relief. I love that this recognition often only lasts until he is hurt again and#then he backpedals into the safety of behaviors he knows will allow him to control a situation through force or manipulation.#it’s good fucking mess. you know? dean winchester everybody.#maybe I should have put all that in the main post. oh well. too late now.#spn#dean winchester#tw abuse
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thedreadvampy · 7 months ago
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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sepiamestus · 10 months ago
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It always rubs me the wrong way when people characterize atsushi as too much of a sweetheart. Like he IS a sweetheart but he's also snarky and sarcastic and most importantly he's very very angry. Do not forget this.
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flufflecat · 1 year ago
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anyone else finding it really, really personally nauseating that the pjo show would remove gabes entire character and replace him with someone less abusive to make sally a Strong Female Character. like wow, im sure glad that youve proven that women who are abused are the REAL threat to feminism, and they should just try talking back more!! what a good message to send to abused kids. sorry, kid. i guess you just didnt argue hard enough and #Own your abuser into seeing how cool and strong you are. what do you mean that arguing with an abuser will only make them hurt you more? but look how snappy and cool and feminist sally is now!!! youre clearly just being abused wrong.
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syn0vial · 1 year ago
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yesterday, i learned that one of my acquaintances from church is like, gleefully and unreservedly supportive of the gazan genocide despite going to a church where every sermon for the past few weeks has been about the horrors and tragedy of said genocide. like, i could not fucking believe how hilarious he seemed to think it is that innocent palestinians are dying, just grinning and laughing and shaking his head and rolling his eyes when my pastor and i expressed horror at the innocent people being killed. just remembering it makes me choke up with anger.
anyway, i'm going to be very stupid and try to talk to him about it this coming sunday. i'll use all my teacherly tricks to try and gently lead him to feel one single scrap of empathy for the victims of israel's civilian massacre, but lbr: he'll probably respond with the same amount of glee and condescension as last night and it's going to end with me making me a scene at church.
but i know i shouldn't. so here are some things i should NOT say, no matter how angry he makes me:
i've always hated the sound of your voice, even before you said such horrible things. you say everything with such condescension. when you read the gospels in church, i have to hide my face behind my program to hide my grimacing. you make the words of christ himself sound like a grift of some oily used car dealer who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. i pity you for going through life with such a voice, and pity you even more for thinking it charming.
it baffles me that you'd allow something as basically human as compassion for the suffering of others to be so utterly sanded away by propaganda. it's pathetic that you could laugh at innocents dying. you've let yourself be lobotomized by a clumsy surgeon and style yourself wise with the icepick still sticking from your skull.
i've always thought your face looks like an easter island head sculpted from a raw chicken breast.
see? none of those would be productive, no matter how truly they express my feelings about this person.
thus: people of faith, pray that god grants me the wisdom and restraint to not light this motherfucker up in the middle of coffee hour. amen.
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will80sbyers · 2 years ago
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people are being excessively mean to others for clout on places like tiktok and twitter in instances where there is literally no reason to respond in a mean way and I don't think I will ever get it like is it that they need likes for validation because they feel extremely lonely in real life because real life connections with people are rare and the pandemic made things worse and so ganging up on people online with others makes them feel like they are part of something even if that something is negative and is possibly bringing another person to experience extremely negative feelings about themselves or are all these people just a bunch of coward assholes
#probably both#Idk I'm getting tired of this culture of always trying to make fun of people on a personal level#like I not everybody can take it and I get literally angry in their behalf because you never know how they could feel#and most of the times there is no need#maybe someone makes a dumb question because of ignorance and the comments are FILLED with people catching the opportunity to just#make fun of them in EVERY way on a personal level#like... why?#even if you are a person like me that can take the dumb comments usually or that even if they get upset after a bit of time they don't care#anymore that doesn't mean that it's ok to do it because even when you do have thick skin or whatever that still is annoying and it will#make you stop commenting on stuff after a while#because you have to read so many fucking dumb comments trying to make fun of you#who the fuck actually would want that lol#like it's just annoying#but what makes me angry is think about the people that take things very personally or maybe have heavy depression or things like this and#it can hurt them very much and you literally never know#just stop#and then I start commenting that it's unnecessary and they are only doing it for clout and they respond saying that it's working because#they got likes#like ok????#you're proud of that? lmao what a fucking shitty person#I just despise people like this#I get to the point of being lowkey ready to fight irl when ppl are mean RANDOMLY to others it bothers me#there are moments in which responding in a mean way is encouraged but I'm talking about all the times in which it is not needed
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violetwolfraven · 1 year ago
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God I hate Pinterest and I really need to stop reading the comments on literally any post on there
I just saw someone straight up say they’re afraid that show fans who haven’t read the books are going to take over and dominate the fandom and they’re afraid that their memories of the books are going to get overridden by memories of the show because of new show fans, and that’s a good reason to gatekeep.
Like okay, just say you’re a party pooper and go home.
Yeah this is about Percy Jackson but I’m not gonna tag it as that cause I don’t wanna get hunted for sport
#i say this as someone who read the books repeatedly as a kid#like was full on autistic hyperfixated on these books and would read one book in 2 days#and when i finished blood of olympus i would start back over and read from the lightning thief#i’m not exaggerating when i say i think i read each book at least 12 times#these books were so very important to me and i would not be the person i am today without them#and i have zero sympathy for people who want to gatekeep the story from people who didn’t read the books#like sorry i have real problems#and what exactly do you think you’re accomplishing beyond making someone’s day a little worse?#acting like there’s some pure pristine way to experience the story? give me a break#you can love one version of this story and let other people love another version#it took me a while to see that because i was a teenager who liked being angry but that includes the movies too#do i like the movies? not really#but there are people who do and in the end i don’t gain anything by shaming them#god there are some people who treat popular book series like the fucking bible#like it’s some moral crusade they have to go on to defend them from heretics who like the wrong version of the story#grow up and let people enjoy things#*this rant is not aimed at the children saying shit like this#*y’all will grow up and hopefully be more mature about what hills are worth dying on#*this is for the grown ass adults who act like it’s their sacred duty to shit on any changes made from the books#*and if it offends you then you probably need to take a step back and look at why you feel so threatened by other people enjoying things
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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perhaps also related to the fact that i am scheduled to close this weekend with the person who was apparently laughing about how a year ago there was a supervisor chat without me Specifically for the purpose of shit talking me
and im supposed to treat her graciously after that? get Fucking real.
#speculation nation#negative/#like. i will. i'll treat her politely as is expected of me working with someone i dont like#even though that wasn't a courtesy extended to me by the people last year. including her apparently!#i dont know why she's come back. i want to gut her like a fish.#i dont think i mentioned that but i learned a few weeks ago that she was laughing about this to a few employees#who called her out for it. which makes me feel very grateful to them.#how fucking immature though. resorting to bullying and ostracizing in a workplace environment.#this was the bullshit that had me fucking Sobbing bc of it all. and you're Laughing about it?#you saw the day that girl screamed at me & how i cried for a half hour straight in storage#until i finally pulled myself together enough to work (though i was still next to tears for Hours)#me. a person who cries Maybe 4 times a year. if even. it had me struggling that hard to not cry.#and this is Funny to you? it's Funny that i was treated like that? just because you all didnt like me bc i was Too Confrontational?#a: im as confrontational as i need to be to avoid problems festering. as a grown fucking adult should be.#and b: even if you didnt like me that's still fucked UP#what the fuck is WRONG with you people??????? why do you take so much glee from my pain?#and again. in a fucking place of work. i know it's food service but Please. have some basic fucking professionalism.#i dont know how im supposed to get through this shift. im so fucking angry at it all.#the anger and frustration has been cycling faster and faster in my heart and i want to Hurt Things but there's nothing im allowed to hurt#so what am i to do? how do i get rid of this feeling? i know what ive done in the past but im not allowed to do that now#with nothing to do im just blasting this fucking song. maybe if i play it loud enough it'll fix me.
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neverendingford · 25 days ago
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#tag talk#had another great interaction today at work.#a customer called in and was like “I. have. a. brain. injury. so. I. speak. really. slowly. and. I. need. you. to. speak. slowly. as. well.”#so anyway we had a nice and slow conversation about what she needed and she went off on tangents about her story and injury#and about how it had affected her life and how her family was really shitty about the disability and super invalidating about it#and anyway it brightened my day cause the kind of disability empathy I've learned on here came into play even just in our conversation#idk. I love making connections with people and I love communication and the empathy links that we naturally form between people#ultimately it was a net zero in terms of her actual issue and she was planning on coming in person anyway#but I'm glad I got to have that interaction and get to know her even just a little bit.#not giving too much information because even though I'm not in healthcare rn hipaa is still wired into my brain#and part of maintaining and respecting dignity is not sharing someone else's information#but it was a joy to talk to her and she seemed to really appreciate it as well.#rip the rest of my department cause we got a line right as I hopped on the phone and it was a half hour conversation so they got slammed#but I had a good time at least.#it reminds me that I really want to get back into healthcare because that's the kind of thing that really makes me happy.#taking care of people and being there when they need to talk and be heard.#I also had a phone call where my dept. supervisor didn't handle it well and she ended up crying and needing to go take a break#and the customer called in again and I got her and like. idk what it is but I just disarm angry customers really easily.#so she was very aggressive at first but ended up being very pleasant with me by the end.#idk what it is but a coworker even mentioned it because we were talking about getting bad customers#and I was like what are you guys talking about all my customers are really nice even the grumpy ones are nice to me#and she was like “I don't know what it is but mean customers turn nice when you deal with them”#and that's just so validating. having someone else comment on my ability to communicate to even angry people.#my ability to bring someone else over to my way of thinking. the ability to go over to someone else's way of thought and then work with them#conflict resolution is collaborative. it's not just a battle of wills. it's about explanation and compromise and bending not breaking#I love people. they're beautiful and stupid and charming and everyone has their own divine spark.#idk. I'm a hopeless optimist even when I'm depressed and angry I can't help but love people.#anyway. thanks for being the void I yell into.
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forehead451 · 3 months ago
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stream of consciousness type deal.
#people's experiences of you will be so drastically different from what you're like when relaxing/unmasking at home and they'll be shocked#when you live together and you thought you let them see what you were like normally except most of the time theyve seen you at home its an#Occassion™ so ofc im gonna be alert and jumping around and talkative bc theres a lot happening and im really happy theyre there#and i can be still. but once they see me day after day exhausted and overstimulated its different bc i am different#i dont feel like i am but i am#and if they dont believe when you explain whats happening then shit hits the fan#for a while i did not understand why they were getting so mad at me at dinner#the other people there understand how i can be foggy or overstimulated and just need to eat and im happy to be there i just need to not look#at anyone or say much and im dizzy from working all day. i need to mash for a bit all ill be good. theyve been generous to take me as honest#when i tell them what im doing.#but a person who is not used to seeing me that way will start thinking im rolling my eyes at whats being said when im actually staring into#space or trying to refocus or trying to get my body to stay in itself instead of drifting off and they think im quietly judging and ik like#im so sorry but fr im not even listening to the group conversation and im not thinking anything negative about you im just gathering my body#i SWEAR. also its agreed that i take part in a group meal instead of isolating with my food bc i need to eat right now too#now that ive stopped working and im going to go back to working after this meal so. this is what i have to do. it is understood and you're#somewhat new to being here on a daily basis but I'm serious i just have to do this and im not being shady im just Something™#(aka exhausted/overstimulated/neurodivergent.) but when i get up with the gathered dishes without making eye contact im automatically angry#and im judgemental and manipulative and trying to control everyone's mood by making my problems everyone's problems with my sighing and eye#rolling. im like. again im not rolling my eyes im trying to focus my eyes. and im not sighing at whats being said im letting out the breath#i realized ive been holding bc im holding myself back from an anxiety rollercoaster drop bc im very overstimulated rn and i was asked to be#here to share meals and deal with it in front of everyone and you arent understanding that id be doing the same thing in private#nothing's WRONG im just OVERSTIMULATED RN and im pulling my body back and im not thinking anything about ANYONE in this room but im starting#to NOW bc you keep assigning meaning where ive told you repeatedly theres none and i get why you're interpreting it this way but i promise#thats not what im doing and your reasons for why im doing it are not accurate.
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hecksupremechips · 9 months ago
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Rebecca gales has bpd she told me herself
#rebecca gales#the letter#the letter visual novel#listen im new here im not exactly a knowledgeable cookie here about bpd but the more i learn the more im like. inch resting#cuz for starters its like idk if it all applies to me but i find a lot of it very relatable#but when i think about rebecca i think it definitely applies and makes a lot of sense just like the way she feels emotions#shes got so much complex feelings about the people she loves shes very caring and loving#to the point where they feel its too much to handle alsjks like i love how cute she is with isabella when shes worried#she squishes belles face to check for injuries and she pulls isabella into her lap and pets her hair and sings for her#and always gets her food and worries herself into the ground to make sure isabella takes care of herself#and then with ashton hes definitely her favorite person she sees him like a prince charming and remembers everything about their#relationship like her way of showing love is definitely by remembering things and paying attention to how people feel and what they want#and then zach even though they arent as close she still helped him with his movie and she defends him when his movie gets hate#like in such an angry way he tries to brush it off but shes like NO NOBODY GETS TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT#and same when luke is shitty to him and tries to steal his camera rebecca lets that guy have it#and with luke even though she does hate him shes the only character who makes him see the good in himself#and she lets him know that hes fully capable of changing and being a good father and person#shes just so loving but at the same time so easily has a split where she cant stand anyone either#she thinks isabella is obnoxiously immature and is jealous as fuck of her and she is very quick to fight with ash#because he just doesnt show his love for her like she does for him and thats just such a problem like#that feeling that youll always love someone way more than anyone will ever love you and it makes her really upset#and like sometimes her feelings just get bitter so quick and at inappropriate times like when shes mad at isabella while shes fucking#in a literal coma because ashton is in love with her and not rebecca and shes just so like wrapped up in her own feelings there that she#completely disregards the entire situation and ashtons grief because she cant think about anything else she just cant help it#so yeah i think its just the way she feels emotions very strongly and switches between them very quickly that makes me think hm maybe#something is going on here 🤨 and i just love it i love her i love how shes just a character whos just like#got all these complicated feelings but shes still loved and gets to slay penis and simply exist as a complex person
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snoopyearss · 9 months ago
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When jjk characters call you ‘clingy’
Feat. crybaby-ish!reader
Gojo, geto, toji
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Cw: hurt, guilt, angst (if you squint)
This is inspiration from a mini series i read a few days ago by user @fumekara. It was so good, I love me some angst to hurt/comfort.
But i also wrote this from personal experience too, my bad yall i treat this like my own personal diary
Anyway, enjoy!
Satoru Gojo
He was pissed. He doesn’t typically show it much, but when he does, he gets kind of scary. He’s more quiet, his voice gets deeper, and his whole body language just shifts. So when the higher-ups piss him off after a very long meeting, the last thing he needs is someone to pounce on him. He usually loves it when you greet him at the door when you’re home for work. But today, he just wanted to strip off his clothes and hop into bed.
Gojo huffs as he leaves the elevator of your shared apartment and grabs his keys from his pocket to unlock the door. As he opens the door, he sees you in the kitchen grabbing ingredients for dinner. “Hi baby,” You softly greeted him. “Hey.” was all he said back. It confused you for a second because he’s never greeted you like that before.
“Is everything okay?” You walk up to him to try to kiss him on his cheek. “God- Y/n, please.” He grumbled, walking right past you and placing his briefcase on the table. “I’m just trying to help,” you defended, walking up to take his coat off for him. “At least let me take your coat-” That’s when he snapped. Something he’s never done to you before. “Y/n, I fuckin’ got it! Geez, you’re so fucking clingy!” He aggressively shrugged your hands off his shoulder. It scared you a bit, to see him so angry at you. You were confused, all you wanted to do was make him feel better. Were you really that clingy?
“I-I’m sorry.” your voice came out shaky and defeated. Hearing how small your voice sounded in response to him lashing out made Satoru’s heart shatter into thousands of pieces. He wanted to turn around and apologize, but the words weren’t coming out. By the time he turned to face you, Your back was already facing him, preparing dinner for the both of you as tears rolled down your face.
Suguru Geto
It was 2 weeks after Suguru deflected. 2 weeks since he committed mass murder in that village. 2 weeks since he left Satoru, Shoko, and the others. It was weighing on him and you could tell. Nothing but him, his two adopted girls, a few people who believed in his cause, and you.
You promised him you would go wherever he would go, and he was so grateful for it. He loves you deeply and would do anything for you. But some days just threw everything on him at one time, today was one of those days. Monkeys non-sorcerers begging him to exercise curses left and right, Nanako and Mimiko begging him to take them shopping, missing payments from those begging for his service. It was all too much. And the guilt was eating away at him.
He genuinely wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying and it annoyed him how much talking you were doing in his ear at that moment. You were both sitting outside watching the two girls play in the yard. “Y/n,” He interrupted you. “Don’t you have something better to do than to just bother me?” He sighed sounding so condescending. “What do you mean?”
“Must you always cling to me? Isn’t there something else you can do besides following me everywhere I go, at all times of the day?!” His voice raised a bit as if he was talking to a non-sorcerer. “I didn’t realize I was. I was only trying to tell you about what me and the girls did today,” You defended. “You’re always so busy, I rarely get to see you anymore.”
“Yeah, because you’re always underneath me. Sometimes-” He stopped mid-sentence because of the saddened look on your face. His eyes softened a bit. “Sometimes I just need my space.” He sighed. You only nodded and started to walk back inside. “Ok, I understand.” Your voice cracked. Leaving Suguru alone to think about what he had just said to you. As if he didn’t feel guilt then, he definitely feels guilt now.
Toji Fushiguro
Toji was a bit frustrated today. He was cheated out of his money after doing a side job, the bet he placed on the race he kept constantly telling you about fell through, leaving him with zero, and to top it all off, the child support payment was coming up. You being an empath and knowing your boyfriend so well, you wanted to help him any way you could.
He was sitting in the chair by the island in the kitchen with his fingers combing through his hair. He was on the phone with multiple people at once, trying to solve his money issues. “Shiu, you guaranteed me way more money than this! How am I supposed to cover this months child support with this amount?!” You walked up to where he was, wondering what all the commotion was about. “Baby?” You softly called out. You could hear Shiu on the other line trying to calm him down and explain the situation.
“That sounds like a bunch of bull and you know it Shiu, you better have my money by next week thursday or else I’m taking it myself.” He grumbled and hung up the phone. “Baby,” You gently placed a hand on his broad shoulder.
“What, Y/n.” He sternly said. You merely blinked a few times. “I was just checking to see if you were okay. What’s with the attitude?”
“I’m fuckin’ frustrated okay? Please leave. You aren’t helping right now.” He waved you off.
“I barely did anything, I just wanted to know if you needed help with anything-”
“Jesus, I said enough! I don’t need your help. Fuck, you’re so clingy.” His voice booming caused you to remove your hand from his shoulder in fear. Seeing your reaction caused him to think about what he said and how he said it. The last think he wanted to do was scare you. He wanted you to feel safe around him. But with the way you jumped at how he raised his voice, it saddened him a bit.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He was cut off by the sound of his child wailing in the background. “I’ll take care of it.” You said in the smallest voice, not even leaving him time to protest against it and apologize.
“Fuck.”
Part 2
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