#but we’re past that now. sad
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just started thinking about the edits that would’ve been made if good luck babe was out when kane left spurs
#when you wake up next to him (bayern) in the middle of the night with your head in your hands you’re nothing more than his wife (bundesliga#top goal scorer) and when you think about me all of those years ago you’re standing face to face w i told you so…#but we’re past that now. sad
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#tbd#maybe#i keep flip flopping over how i feel but after this weekend i’m just sad and very angry#angry that we’re never going to get what we want#angry that charle’s equaled daniel’s wins#angry that daniel’s team was there#angry that daniel is silent#angry that caa are maybe appeasing red bull#angry that nick was all happy in the paddock with his passes because ultimately everyone only cares about themselves#angry at us for believing daniel chose to walk away#angry at daniel for choosing to walk away#angry that i’m never getting any fucking closure#angry that i’m never going to experience the high of a good daniel result#i’m just so angry and so sad about so many things#i can’t look past that#the past few weeks i’ve been able to rationalize and look to the future but now in this moment after the first race back#i just hate everything#i’m angry at everything#how am i supposed to root for max if that very same team i want to liquidate
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i finished “all the young dudes”. brb gonna drown myself in my tears
(spoilers in the tags)
#NO BUT GRANT MADE ME SO SAD AT THE END#WHEN REMUS WAS TELLING HIM ABOUT CALYPSO I WAS LIKE “UH HUH :) YEAH :)) THIS IS FINE :)))”#AND THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW WHAT REMUS IS GONNA GO THRU A YEAR LATER#DOES IT EVEN COUNT AS A HAPPY ENDING IF YOU KNOW THAT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS SAD???#AND WHEN REMUS WAS SAYING HE WOULD STAY W THE WEREWOLVES A BIT LONGER#MY BRAIN WAS LIKE “BABY WE’RE GETTING A LIL TOO CLOSE TO HALLOWEEN FOR COMFORT HERE—”#BCZ I REMEMBER THAT IT HAPPENS IN HALLOWEEN#AND THEN ITS PAST HALLOWEEN AND MARY HITS US WITH THE#“remus… something awful has happened.”#SHOOT ME WHY DONT YOU#FUCKING KILL ME OH MY GOD#I CRIED OVER JAMES AND LILY WHAT#THEY WERE SO FULL OF LIFE THEY SHOULDNT HAVE DIED ITS NOT FAIR#AND DONT GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON REGULUS#HE WAS THERE AND THEN SUDDENLY HE WASNT#I HATE IT#THIS FIC OWNS MY SOUL NOW#hp marauders#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#marauders fanfic#the marauders#all the young dudes#atyd marauders#atyd#atyd fandom#atyd remus#atyd sirius
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it’s weird how much lighter my life feels now. not that i don’t have any issues (because there are many in my life, as i am sure there are in yours), but they’re just so much more manageable than they were a year ago.
what’s more; i love myself now. i may not be perfect. but i am trying my best, and i can tell that i am! i see myself in the mirror, and sometimes i just examine myself, and my features, and i smile. i feel so much more authentic when talking to people, not worrying about how they view me, because i don’t have to anymore. i wish i could’ve told 15-year old me just how good it’s gotten so far, i know that he would’ve loved hearing about the shitty sideburns we’re growing out right now :’)
#it gets better :)#i used to think that transitioning medically wouldn’t lessen the sadness and depression i felt#and to some degree it is still there since t isn’t a cure all#but by the gods it is so much fucking easier to deal with everything#when a major reason for my mental health being the way it was has been abated#it’s like the fog cleared enough for me to actually see the road i’m driving on#instead of assuming blindly that i won’t crash#once i get top surgery.#idk. i wonder if things will be even easier?#i’m almost a year in and already my life feels so much brighter. yeah there’s problems with keeping the house. and yeah#i don’t have an income yet and i don’t know if the internship will even be in the cards for me#but. i just feel that everything will work out. enough for me to enjoy the time i have here :)#sorry i am being sappy but god! i love and i love! so much now!! i feel so much and i enjoy nearly every day despite the Issues#the world is getting worse but still i find reasons to love and live#so maybe one day it will get better? maybe one day my love will have helped even#if you’re reading. i love you. even if you’re just a follower#even if we’re mutuals that haven’t talked before#i think about you often. i wonder where my oldest mutual went after they stopped posting years ago#i don’t think i can forget. and i love you. and i wish i. could give you a hug. we all need one from time to time#i love the friends i’ve made and the friends i’ve had. i love. and this past year has opened up my floodgates of emotion
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#it’s actually so weird that in like 3 months harry took all those larry related things and decided to#kinda make it weirder lol#when this past summer we got:#sweet creature is about gemma thing#the blue bandana on his so called American boyfriend lol#and then love of my life here… for my buddy in the pit#and then the olivia tattoo#it really felt like they were trying to reduce any possible larry references to the usual plausible deniability#for example harry hasn’t mentioned tattoo in his songs yet mostly because he couldn’t since#the half part of his tattoes is on louis’ body and there’s no way to deny it#but now he could… and people would relate that eventual line to a woman if that makes sense.#anyway my point is in 2020 the umbro shirt was huge because of the line in fine line too#was it playing both sides was it saying we’re together who knows#but it was fun for the most and then it was sad bc that was larry goodbye to us larries in a way#since after it was mostly hard times and some stupid green and blue lights lmao#not even their music talks about them like it used to lol#and now this pap pics i that shirt…#I dont know man I don’t know#very random… bit scary#it is what it is
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last few hours in boston :(
#purrs#conference tag#we literally just got here and now we have to go 😭💔 i havent rly felt as enriched by this conference as i have in the past (though there’s#still 2 more sessions to go to incl the closing plenary and we’re getting lunch in the station before the train ride home) but ive walked#around so much and have spent time with people i love and some people i miss. and have been on adventures i have been looking forward to for#a rly long time though i am kinda bummed i never made it down to fanueil square. but… idk what happiness feels like anymore but maybe for me#it’s just absence of misery and despair. or contented ness. i have gotten a little triggered from time to time these last few days and ive b#been lonely in my hotel room but MAN it has been nice to not be miserable and suffering and to take walks and to not go to every session (ev#even though i do feel bad abt it like i missed 2 plenaries and an afternoon concurrent session which is more than i usually miss) and to#be in this city which feels so much like brighton and so uncity like in some ways. it’s so charming and omg i went to harvard and it was#NOTHING like what i imagined it to be / feel like.. just a quaint artsy quirky town. and the rest of the places ive been have been like that#too. and people LIVE here every day!!!!! there’s a big beautiful world here both above ground and below!!!! and im gonna be late to#breakfast but… i just feel nourished and healed in a way i wasn’t expecting to. I haven’t been this far away from home in 3+ years and#it’s just been really nice being somewhere else and going on adventures and seeing things surviving. i miss my grandparents a lot and im sad#to not be visiting them and to be unable to visit them now lol but it’s just rly nice and special being here. im goingto miss it so much and#im trying to savor every second. i wish we had one more day here and im a little sad to be going home lol#* what i meant when talking about happiness earlier is that i think… i have been happy these last few days. for the first time in a really#really long one. and that’s nice. it’s good to be happy again. and good to be here
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feeling like a deflated basketball right abt now
#had a little ~manic episode~ this past weekend#v sorry you guys had to see that#but i’m now in my deflated basketball era#we’re back to normal girlies#(gn)#tw mental health#tw mania#sad peace sign
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20 years from now when you & Sean are married & you’re a soccer mom do you really think it’ll matter whether we kissed or shook hands the night we said goodbye?
😭
#Rip Sean u & Matt do look literally like the same person to me physically#But one singular scene between Cassie & Matt & their chemistry is off the charts#I will take a conversation about the past#in a rainy car#& a promise of being friends for life between exes#over some bitch ass boring ass#“we’re gonna get married someday” talk#any day 👏of the week 👏#but then. I love tragedy#I’m sad about Matt’s impending death now I’m sold#this scene in the r car sold me#soul survivor watch tag
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i think one of the worst things to ever happen to me is meeting someone i get along so well with and yet we’re never going to reach the friend potential that we have
#does this make sense#in other words we match each others freak and we’ll never be friends ab it#like we’re so locked#as a duo on the same wavelength ab things and same sense of humor but different enough that it works#like as people we just match up#but we’re too different and i don’t think we’ll ever be better friends than we are rn#like rn i’d say we’re really strong work friends#but my other work friends kinda broke past that ‘work’ part and are now just friends#i don’t think there’s ever a context in which me and this person would hang out one on one and gossip or whatever#it’s fine and not actually a big deal but i’m feeling sad ab it rn#bonk thoughts
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~ ~ ~
#feeling oddly unhappy right now#like there’s an ache in my chest and I feel desperate for some kind of distraction in general#I mean I might just need more sleep because I am fairly exhausted right now#but God I just feel horribly lonely and sad and pathetic right now#I’m still bothered and disappointed that bestie cancelled our concert plans and I also still kinda feel like his reason for it was a lie#I don’t really get to talk to my partner much unless we’re able to actually be together like when I’m at work or we make specific plans#we just don’t seem to have much to say over text and they’re not very responsive because they often forget to reply in the first place#easier to just send silly memes and videos and quick things rather than actually trying to talk#feel like even if I did need to talk to them it’d be a 50/50 bet on actually getting a reply#and I just feel really alone and like no one really has time for me or cares to put in much effort#and logically I know that isn’t true and I’ve been a lot better lately with my mental health and staying afloat and everything#but things have been getting a little worse lately and I feel like I’m slipping these past few days#I don’t really know what to do right now#and I’m overstimulated because my dad has a nurse here helping with wound care and of course they’re talking but my dog is also just whining#whining and crying and making constant noise because she wants to be part of things and get attention#and I think it’s just too much for me right now because I want everything to turn off for a while#maybe I’ll just hide under my blankets for a bit once the nurse leaves#try and make it through the rest of this day#sigh#personal
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jjk men coming home and finding you crying
ft. gojo, geto, nanami, toji fluff and comfort
gojo satoru
you wiped your eyes quickly as you heard the door opened. you took a deep breath, making sure your voice didn’t come as shaky as you said, “welcome home, toru.” with a big grin and the usual paper bag filled with sweets on his right hand he planted a kiss on your head. “i’m home baby.”
you were just about to let out a sigh of relief when satoru suddenly knelt in front of you who’s on the couch, blindfold off as his blue eyes stared as if seeing right through you. “what’s wrong?” he said softly, his knuckles brushing over your cheek with such a careful gesture. “what do you mean?” you tilted your head, cringing inside at the bad feign. “you can’t fool my six eyes, baby. also what kind of boyfriend i’ll be if i can’t even notice when my girl is sad?”
you tried to form a sentence to say as an excuse but the kisses he peppered across your face wasn’t really helping. you chuckled as you whine softly, “toruu.” the white-haired man cupped your face, a gorgeous smile on his face. “my favorite sound, baby,” he said, kissing your lips. “tell me? pleaseeee.” you laughed once more at his emphasis at the last word. “it’s really nothing, toru.”
“i love listening to nothing. we even have some sweets here as snacks,” he said, opening the paper bag excitedly. “i think you just want an excuse to eat it at 8 pm,” you raised an eyebrow, as he grinned. “nonsense, baby. now c’mere, let me hold you while you tell your story.” he put you between his legs, your back resting on his broad chest comfortably. you sighed out of wonderment, thinking how you could be so lucky, being this loved by the man.
“here, pick whatever. this one is my favorite,” he rummaged through the bag that’s on your lap. you looked at him with fondness as his face leaned in beside you to see better. “yeah? you’ll give me your favorite?”
“there’s nothing in the world that you can’t get, baby.” he kissed the side of your face. “now start from the very beginning.”
geto suguru
“if you thought you were doing a great job hiding those tears i have some news for you sweet girl,” geto’s voice was gentle on your ear as he wipe the wet residue underneath your eyes with the inner sleeve of his robe. “i wasn’t really hiding it,” you frowned, somehow not liking the fact that he noticed your little moment of weakness. “yeah? so you were just rubbing your eyes all rough like that for no reason?” he gave you a little smile.
yeah, it was a battle you had lost from start.
he put his arms around you, rubbing your back in a soothing pattern. “what’s wrong baby, everything okay?” you melted right into his touch, resting your head on his chest right on the calming beating of his heart. “yeah, it’s not really a big deal,” you mumbled, your low spirit was really affecting him more than he would ever let you know. his hand kept moving as he once again kissed the side of your head, a low chuckled escaped him. “you’re cute when you think you have a choice on telling me what had upset you.”
you laughed softly at his playfulness, knowing full well to you’ll end up telling your boyfriend everything. “you’re right. but can i tell you later?” you asked, wanting just this peaceful moment to last just a little longer as you held him tight.
“’course baby, got all the time in the world for you.”
nanami kento
nanami already knew that something was off when the house felt a little quiet as he arrived. and then he found you hunched over as you stood behind the kitchen counter. “honey?” you wiped your eyes with what you thought was the speed of sound but it was clear to both of you that you had been crying. “hi ken, how was work?” you replied with a small voice, a smile nanami didn’t particularly like plastered on your face; only because it seemed forced.
“oh no, we’re not breezing past it. come here my love.” and his embrace enveloped you like a dream, all warm and perfect. he stroke your hair ever so softly as he whispered sweet nothings. when you calmed down a little he sneaked a hand under your jaw, rubbing his thumb on your cheek gently, a gesture with amount of love you could only guess. “what’s wrong, hm?” he questioned you, his eyes shone with adoration; there’s only you in that moment.
“i’m okay, ken. more importantly aren’t you tired from work?” there’s a deep crease between the blond’s man eyebrows he heard you say this, as if that was the most offensive thing he had ever heard from you. “’more importantly?’ there could be nothing that’s more important than you, dear,” he said, knowing that concern was from a good place, like he was worrying over you, of course you would fuss over him who just came home from work.
“still…” you hesitated, but he kissed it out of you quickly. “want me to prepare you a bath, love? you know i can get the perfect temperature for you,” he whispered, coaxing you. and he was right, even sometimes he would get it right more often than you. before you could even mumble out another excuse he continued. “and while you do that i’ll prepare dinner, okay? i’m sure there’re still some ingredients left to make that nice meal you like.”
“no, i couldn’t possibly let you do all the work ken-“
“love, i’m here. you can relax, okay? you always do so much for me, let me do this for you,” he reassured you, cupping your face as he trailed your cheeks with soft kisses. you’re still not convinced, as he smiled over your great concern. “do this for me, please?” he tried once more and there’s no way you could refuse that. you nodded, feeling another wave of tears coming out of gratitude for your boyfriend., “thank you ken, i love you so much.”
“i love you too. and when you’re ready to talk, i’m here okay? always.”
toji fushiguro
he lifted you up, your leg instinctively wrapped themselves around his waist as he grabbed both of your thighs to support you. you tighten the hold of your arms around his neck, resting your head on your shoulder, nuzzling closer to his neck; not wanting him to see your post-crying face.
he sat you on the kitchen counter, putting both of his hands on the hard surface, on either side of your body practically refraining you to run away. “what’s wrong pretty girl?” he asked you who’s currently staring at the fingers on your lap as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. he kissed your shoulder blade, intentionally lingering a little long to hopefully calm your nerves. “nothing, i guess,” you answered nonchalantly, like detaching yourself. “you’re shit at lying babe, you know that right? look at the frown that you’re wearing right now, it’s almost touching the floor,” he said as he kissed your neck next. “mean,” you meant to frown, and you realized you were already doing that for the past hour. fine, maybe he had a point, so what?
“nah, what’s mean is when my girl won’t even tell me what made her upset,” he said, tilting his head confidently, his big hand on your waist as he rubbed your side. the look on his face was enough to make you relent. “fine… you’ll force it out of me sooner or later anyways,” you mumbled as he smiled, knowing that you needed a little push is all to sound your worries. “atta girl.”
“tell me all ‘bout it yeah? don’t leave out a single detail. then maybe if you’re up for it, i can show you that i got many ways to cheer you up,”
#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#suguru fluff#suguru x reader#geto x reader#nanami fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami x reader#jjk nanami#jjk toji#toji x you#toji x reader#toji fluff
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HE WQS FLIRTING WITH ME FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT KNOW???????
#DAWG#HELLO????#I THIUGHT HE WAS JUST FUN TO BE AROUND I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS FUN BECAUSE HE LIKED ME BACK#sorry to rant but I’m losing it#NO BECAUSE#he’s been distant this past week bc I blew something I did off as just how I am with friends in general#which now I know made him feel sad#but like I only said that because I suddenly felt too vulnerable and thought there’s no way he Actually could ever like me back#BUT NOW I KNOW HE DOES#AND LIKE#dude idk what to do now#we’re hanging out at my fave beach on Monday tho (with friends it’s not a date)#ok I NEED to sleep because im waking up at 7:30 but I am yelling and I am so so so stupid
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─ PINK RIBBONS
𝜗𝜚 THEME: fluff, domesticity, you being jeonghan's whole world (mention of the military) 𝜗𝜚 PAIRING: idol!jeonghan x fem!reader 𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT: 792
natalia's note: idc if this is too dramatic, i don't want jeonghan to go
⦗💌 ⦘your favourite past time? playing with your boyfriend's hair, duh. sadly, it's the last time you get to do it for the next two years.
“here,” jeonghan drops a bunch of… somethings in your lap and sits down on the fluffy rug you bought last month, his back facing you.
your boyfriend’s randomness is nothing new; even before you began dating, you quickly found out that yoon jeonghan was an unpredictable man. but no matter how much time has passed since you agreed to be his girlfriend, you are still taken aback each and every time he decides to do something out of the blue in his jeonghan fashion.
you quickly grew to love his randomness, though. it’s like being surprised in the best ways possible.
“what,” you pick up a packet of colourful hair ties and hair pins, “what do you want me to do with those?”.
jeonghan turns around and looks up to meet your eyes, his own holding nothing but fondness and warmth. “my hair,” he says and shakes his head of messy brown hair he died a couple of days ago. “we haven’t done this in a while, so i thought it’d be nice.”
your stomach churned. how many times have you sat like this - you on the edge of the sofa and jeonghan in front of you, resting comfortably against a cushion you placed so as not to strain his back. a drama or a cooking show would be playing quietly in the background, neither of you watching it, too busy with basking in the domesticity.
looking back, it was a no-brainer that you got addicted to your boyfriend’s hair so quickly. playing with it became a little habit of yours - before bed, in the morning, at a game night with the boys, during parties - whenever jeonghan was in your arm’s reach, you’d play with his hair, no matter if they were short or long (though you always mourned his long hair whenever he cut them). it always managed to calm you down and ground you when life got a bit too much.
you’ve never experienced deja vu before, but if this was how it felt then you’d rather be hit with a sledge hammer. it’d hurt less.
and now… despite that you could feel your heart breaking, you couldn’t tell him no. it’s probably the last time you’ll be able to do this before the enlistment anyway, so maybe… maybe it’ll be a nice way to celebrate his last days at home?
“it’s hair. it’s just hair,” your mind seems to scream into the void as you grab a couple of the purple-ish hair bands and slide them on your wrist. but your heart is even louder and it feels like you’re being ripped apart.
were you being dramatic? definitely. did you care? not at all. your whole life would change in the next day or so and despite preparing for this for such a long time now, it didn’t make it any less painful. with jeonghan leaving you’d be losing a part of yourself.
“hey,” he raises his hand and grabs your chin, “get that scowl off your face.”
“i know,” you sigh. “it’s just that-,”.
“i don’t want to hear any of that. we’re having fun tonight, honey,” jeonghan says and runs his thumb over your cheek. affection and pure love, which are always there whenever he looks at you (coups makes sure to point that out on every possible occasion), seemed to slow your racing heartbeat, because the longer you stared into his brown, gentle eyes the more your mind seemed to quiet down. oh, how you are going to miss that lovesick stare. “no more sad faces, yeah?”
you swallow and nod, your heart heavy from all the emotions. the pink ribbons and blue pins look like the opposite of what you are feeling, but… you have to be strong. if not for yourself, then for jeonghan.
“any specific requests?” you ask and comb your fingers gently through his silky hair.
“nope. whatever you do,” he says and turns his back to you, “it’ll look perfect.” you couldn't see jeonghan’s face, but you could hear the smile in his voice.
placing a peck on your exposed leg, he makes himself comfortable against the cushions and lets out his grandpa-esque sigh.
what the next days are going to bring - you aren’t sure. you don’t even want to think about it. but for now… for now, you are as content as you can be. enveloped by your love’s affection like a security blanket, his warm hands sliding up and down your calves, as if reminding you that he’s still there, it is enough for you. enough to swallow your tears and put a brave smile on your face for the man sitting in front of you.
for now it is only you and him and all the pink ribbons.
taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom @sourkimchi @bbysnw @hoichi02 @aaa-sia @haneulparadx @minvrsev @zozojella @wonootnoot @kimingyuslover @wntrei @honglynights @jihoonsbbygirl @uhdrienne @bloodcanbehot @iamawkwardandshy @icyminghao @heeseungthel0ml @goyangiiwonu @bath1lda @ruurooozz @ny0sang @luuxian @onerubii�� @hurrican3-insert-nam3 @mekuiikore @luvseungcheol @thenotoriousegg @yuuyeonie @soffiyuhh @svtficsarchive @hyperdramas @huen1ngk41 @lesuneczka @oc3anfloor @gyuguys @fr-freak @bewoyewo
#seventeen imagines#seventeen#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen carat#svt reactions#seventeen x you#seventeen reactions#seventeen kpop#svt fluff#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan scenarios#jeonghan svt#jeonghan seventeen#jeonghan x you#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x y/n#jeonghan imagines#jeonghan recs#jeonghan fluff#svt jeonghan#jeonghan#seventeen reaction#seventeen imagine#seventeen scenarios#svt
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i am far too young to already have to rely on greatest hits in all of my relationships but here we are
#everybody who i’m still in contact with at this point like#when we talk we don’t talk about anything current#we just reminisce on how the past used to be#and it’s so stupid#like. isn’t right now the time i should be Making memories ?#isnt right now the time i should be living the life that i reminisce about way down the line?#people literally just have so little in common and so little interest in me that we’re like rmemeber when!#because that’s all we’ve got!#totally fucking sad!
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not to keep liveblogging the retreat but it’s over now (it has been for most of the day). i cried so much today and it was amazing. im so sad and so happy and so relieved and so tired and so proud
#purrs#retreat tag#i was rly anxious facilitating today and overwhelmed bc we had to pack (i didn’t help at all and felt terrible) and i didn’t finish writing#notes to ppl and i had to facilitate and i was nervous abt the emotions. and then we got there and i said the final words and started crying#and this time EVERYONE was looking at me. but it wasn’t sad tears it was like…. wow. look at this. we made this together. we went through so#much this week and also for three years and we did it and it all mattered so much and we’re here together. and i felt all my past and future#selves and pods and cohorts in that moment and all the ones i didn’t get to see too. and it was so… wow. and then i was bawling when we were#hugging goodbye and someone in my pod hugged me for like a solid 2 minutes it felt like and we were just rocking each other and crying 🥹🥹🥹🥹#it doesn’t even feel real but also it was SO real. i can’t believe it’s over. not to keep talking a but crying but i cried for like an hour#when i got picked up and we went back to the hotel omg.. like this was MONTHS of intensive prep and planning plus 2 years of the heaviest LY#lifts to put on diminished versions of this magical thing and we got to do it this time and everything that led up to that mattered and the#ripples will roll out forever. im a little scared bc part of me feels distant from it bc i know so much now and have a lot of experience w i#it but like.. this program changed my whole life. introduced me to so many of the people i love. exploded my world into light. and i got to#be part of doing that for 43 other people. i feeel so lucky and warm#i feel cringy for talking abt it on here liek it’s disingenuous / just for performance but i rly mean that its just thisis my public diary 🥴#like omg. 5 years ago. and 3 years ago. and last semester. and now it’s over???? but also it’s just beginning. wild#naur also im a staff coach now and it was kinda sad the distance i felt. like they were scared of me / felt like i was untouchable a little#bit but it’s like… im only a couple years older than you. someone in my pod was a year older than me! so that was sad. but it was good
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Anyone else Thinkin about how Steve was 100% the subject of Eddie cafeteria rants during Steve’s senior year?? Maybe a jibe about how Nancy was right to leave him? She’s too good for him??
And it hurts cause he’s a lil raw but it’s mostly like “yeah I know” so it mostly brushes past him. He’s doing his best to be a decent person.
And so now after seeing Steve bite the head off a bat and also be kind and respectable? He’s like “woah. Steve is good. So good. Maybe the best. Deserves so much love.” And obviously that’s rapidly growing crush. But he doesn’t quite pick up on it so he’s like “this surely means he’s at least good enough for Nancy. I need to encourage them to get together because Steve is so good and deserves the best”
So he encourages it and Steve kinda explores it and he’s quickly like “hmmm no. She’s the best and we’re buds and will never kiss again.”
And Eddie is a lil crushed that Steve isn’t happy and in love. No he’s fr feeling very sad for Steve.
It’s like a month later, with Steve leaning against him while they watch a movie, that Eddie’s like “hold the phone! I don’t just want him to be happy and in love! I want him to be happy and in love with ME!”
Thus followed by Eddie’s bumbling attempts because he doesn’t really think he’s good enough for steve
But what he doesn’t know is that Steve sped through a sexuality crisis and had been ranting to Robin about how Eddie wasn’t picking up on his flirting (Robin says he’s too subtle) so he doesn’t know what to do. But oh man, he recognizes flirting coming at him with no question. Even if it’s so deeply awkward. So once he sees Eddie flirting??? Game on. Come to Stevie
End rant
#it’s 1:30 am#I’m supposed to be asleep#I’m my greatest enemy#but I love them#this was supposed to be 2 paragraohs#steddie#stranger things#steddie drabble#steddie fic#Eddie Munson#steve harrington
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