#bit but it’s like… im only a couple years older than you. someone in my pod was a year older than me! so that was sad. but it was good

[pepprs]

not to keep liveblogging the retreat but it’s over now (it has been for most of the day). i cried so much today and it was amazing. im so sad and so happy and so relieved and so tired and so proud

[why-rock-look-tasty-if-no-eat]

You can also recognize someone by the sounds of their breathing. I do that with my family and it's hilarious when I know who they are when they're trying to sneak up on me lol

bruce is one of those people who can recognize others by the sound of their footsteps, their smell (and ONLY THAT), their voice, just like, anything really

and when other, normal, people find it weird, he just goes "well, tim does it too"

(that's NOT reassuring, bruce)

[angel-eyes05]

to leave the warmest bed i've ever known

pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 

summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office

warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death

word count:  4.1k

notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.

You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.

Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.

Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.

You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.

When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 

How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.

Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.

The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.

The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.

Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.

That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.

“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.

“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.

“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.

The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.

“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.

“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”

Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.

He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”

He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.

“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”

You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”

He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 

“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.

Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.

First though, you had to find Gwen.

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a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao

NEXT CHAPTER

[leclercvsx]

DILF | SMAU

sebastian vettel

pairings: sebastian vettel x reader

summary: y/n is dating Seb who is 15 years older than her but despite the age gap theyre just like any other couple

warnings: age gap (?)

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, landonorris and 47,628 others

yourusername: in my lover era 🫶

TAGGED: sebastianvettel

sebastianvettel: i love you❤️

yourusername: ugh i love you too😭❤️

user: girlie isn’t he old enough to be your dad��

landonorris: i took the last photo btw

yourusername: we know🙄

user: am i the only one that find this weird ???

user: definitely not the only one

friendusername: my fav couple😔

yourusername: love you😘😘

user: he’s literally almost DOUBLE her age wtf

—

sebastianvettel

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 815k others

sebastianvettel: great time seeing everyone again 🙏🏼

TAGGED: lewishamilton, yourusername

lewishamilton: loved seeing you mate, your girlfriends lovely by the way💙

sebastianvettel: she’s the best❤️

yourusername: making me blush and shi☺️

user: he’s basically dating a child

user: nah cos this is still so weird

user: im actually so grossed out rn

user: girl me too

user: he should be with someone his own age, not someone that’s just hit puberty

user: a bit predatory if u ask me

—

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, lewishamilton and 25,184 others

yourusername: in a world of boys he’s a gentlemen ❤️

TAGGED: sebastianvettel

user: “gentlemen” it’s because he’s almost double your age babe

sebastianvettel: the love of my life❤️

yourusername: i will cry

sebastianvettel: please don’t, love

user: she’s probably with him for his money and fame tbh

friendusername: i don’t think she’d tolerate all this nasty ass behaviour if she was with him for his money or fame. leave them alone.🙄

liked by sebastianvettel and yourusername

user: i actually think they’re super cute😭

user: no cos me too like i want what they have

lewishamilton: you guys really are the cutest

yourusername: 😛

—

y/n

sebastian

seb❤️

what’s wrong? you never call me by my full name

y/n

i think we should break up:/

seb❤️

what the hell are you on about? i don’t think we should break up.

where’s all this coming from?

y/n

everyone’s calling you a freak for being with a “child” and saying that you’re too old for me or that you’re old enough to be my dad and i don’t want anyone to continue hating on you. so as much as i love you and hate myself for doing this, i think it’s for the best.

seb❤️

no.

i won’t let you break up with me due to jealous children on the internet, Y/n. i love you and i do not care about anyone else’s opinions.

So what if we have an age gap? we’re both legal, mature adults who can decide who we want to date.

i’ll sort this all out, my love. don’t worry❤️

—

sebastianvettel

liked by lewishamilton, yourusername and 1,628,273 others

sebastianvettel: Y/n and i have been dating for the past year and a half, yes we started dating when she was 19 (4 days before she was 20) and i had just turned 34 but we both discussed this for a while. We’re both legal, consenting, mature adults and choose to date each-other because we love eachother. There is nothing wrong with our relationship. If you find out relationship weird, then YOU are the problem (y/n taught me how to say that.)

Y/n is the love of my life and i don’t ever want that to change. Thanks to some people online, you have made my lovely, wonderful and beautiful girlfriend try to break up with me because she doesn’t want me getting hated on. We’re still very much together and will be for the foreseeable future.

I love you, Y/n. Ignore the jealous, immature children❤️

TAGGED: yourusername

yourusername: sobbing on my floor right now. i love you so so much😭❤️

sebastianvettel: don’t cry, my love.

lewishamilton: ignore the immature people, they don’t know what they’re talking about.

liked by yourusername

user: i actually feel really bad now

user: proud to say i’ve always been a y/nseb shipper btw

landonorris: i would say mother and father but y/n is younger than me so😔

yourusername: you aren’t helping this situation, Lando.

landonorris: it was a JOKE. you know i love you both really🙏🏼🙏🏼

liked by sebastianvettel

——————————

this is quite a short one cos i ran out of ideas lol, but anyway i hope you all enjoy!

this was either gonna be for carlos, daniel or seb but i chose seb cos he’s my fav person ever😛

AND YES I KNOW THE AGE GAP IS A LITTLE EXTREME BUT THIS IS ALL FICTION !!!

REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN 🫶

masterlist | request

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Cum Locked Into a Marine:

Are you in the military but feel like you joined the wrong branch? well there’s a way to swap branches, only catch, you have to swap bodies with someone in that branch and live their life, you can always swap back but only after both parties have finished their contract, so if you have 1 year left on yours, and you decided to swap with a fresh boot, you gotta finish the rest of their contract

Not many people wanna swap with a guy fresh out of boot camp but I did.

I’ve spent a year in the navy and didn’t like it one bit, when I joined I was hoping to join a brotherhood but the comrodery wasn’t there , when I was in A school, the base I was at for training was actually a joint base with the army, navy, Air Force and marines

Something that always upsetted me is when ever we’d see the marines, they were fine as fuck, for no reason, hands down the best looking fucking branch, no homo.

Even when I got to my ship and did a deployment with the marines onboard, they always looked hot and way fitter, if I would have join them instead of the navy, I’d definitely have abs but a lot of the navy struggles to stay within height and weight regulations

So I decided I wanted to swap with a marine, I made an account for the Body Exchange Program (or B.E.P. For short) and went to the subsection for military swaps and clicked on the marine branch to see what bodies were available

One thing I loved about the B.E.P. Is while the swaps are basically contracts and ment to last for the agreed time, they’re a couple ways to get out of that aswell… The B.E.P. Isn’t actually ment for long term swaps, so the only real way to do so is by breaking the TOS (terms of servicing). if both parties end up ejaculating while swaped, they end up locked in each others bodies

A lot of them had high standards in order to swap with them but I did find one Private named Matt Cummings. his profile says he’s only been out of boot camp for a week now and hates it, willing to swap with anyone from any branch as long as their not old.

I’ve only done 1 out of my 5 years so it didn’t bother me basically losing a year and having to restart a 5 year contract, especially if it ment I got to look hot as fuck and be a marine

Luckily I was only about 3 years older so I sent a request and after a little talking he agreed saying “I’d love to be in the navy and see more countries than just being deployed and stuck in 1”

Since we were in the same time zone this would actually be somewhat easy, we just set the time to swap to 3 A.M. when we’re both sleeping, and since we both actually had the next couple days off, it’d give us time to adapt and try to figure out our new lives

He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, promising it’s not like how I think it is. And I told him yes I’m sure…

Unfortunately he was one of the few profiles on here that didn’t have a profile pic so I was a bit worried about walking into this blind, but checking out the basic stats on his profile made me a bit more confident, 5’10 and 140. At the very minimum I might lose like 2 inches of height but atleast I lose about 40 pounds of weight also haha

I woke up the next day in a bed that didn’t belong to me and a dorm room that didn’t look familiar to me. Needing to piss I flung the blanket off me and saw that I was in nothing but my underwear, I rushed to the head (bathroom in military talk) and lowered them to piss and was kinda shocked, nothing too special about the dick, I mean about the same size as my actual body, but maybe a bit longer, ok, more than a little, I had to be atleast 3 and a half inches soft now, bro probably had like atleast 2 inches on me hard, I don��t know yet, so I’ll assume im about 6.5 or 7 inches hard maybe more now. What had me shocked tho was that I’m now uncircumcised! This is awesome man! I always wanted to be uncut. I just woke up and I’m glad this guy wanted to swap, definitely lucked out.

After I got done pissing and shooked my dick, I went to the sink to drink some water straight from the facet, after I got done drinking I stood up water dripping down my face onto my chest and onto my thin 6pack… if you could even call these abs, I’m not sure, maybe inbetween toned and abs status. Finally taking the chance to look in the mirror, I believe I lucked out, this guy seems to be one of the finer looking ones

While admiring my new self in the mirror I started to get hard and decided to check out the goods, pulling my underwear down my initial assessment seemed to be right, definitely bigger than my original body, so definitely atleast 7 inches. I decided to save playing with myself for later, hate to be a cliche and immediately go to touching myself after a swap, I’ll save it for later when I decide to act like a true marine and go get day drunk!

I tried finding some clean clothes but everything that wasn’t a uniform item was kinda just thrown onto the floor so I don’t know which piles are clean and which are not… I decided to take from the pile that smelled the lest like B.O. and get dressed

Once dressed I grabbed a backpack I saw laying around and left the onbase housing and found a store that happened to sell some IPA’s in there. I got a 6 pack and headed back to my room. on the way to the store and on the way back I was getting looks from everyone like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be, can’t be the alcohol can it? I mean no way, I tucked it into my bag. I mean, ya bro didn’t check the back of my CAT card to see my date of birth, so it’s technically underage drinking, but no one knows I have beer in my backpack nor does that explain the looks I was getting on the way to the store in the first place

I shrugged it off and just went back inside to my room. Once in I started drinking right away after I found some good shows to watch on this guys phone, I don’t know his password but the finger ID works, I’ll have to message him and ask him for the code later

It was taking me longer than usual to finish these due to not liking the taste anymore, and they were fucking me up more than usual making me a bit nauseous, I guess it makes since, this Matt guy has only been in for a week, probably didn’t have a taste for alcohol yet, not to mention different tastebuds in general, dam that sucks, this was one of my favorite brands too!

It took me almost 3 hours but I was finally on the last one, on a scale of like 1-10 I was probably a 6 on the drunk scale, trying not to throw up, which is ironic sense I use to black out and wake up never throwing up once throughout the night

When I get drunk I like to start cleaning or working out drunk, makes everything a bit more fun, I decided to do laundry, sense I can’t tell what’s clean and what’s not, I decided to just wash everything on the floor

Once I put everything in the washer I had a thought, technically I don’t know if the clothes I put on today were clean or not, and after spending some time in them today, technically they are dirty “fuck it” I said outloud and stripped completely naked tossing my clothes into the washer too before starting it

I went back and sat on the couch buck ass naked, it always felt weird walking around naked, so the fact that I’m doing it now in a slimmer body, balls swinging? Was kinda erotic, I started to get hard but the hornyness turned into fear when I herd a knock at the door

I remained still hoping they’d just go away, but then herd the sliding of the lock and the door open

“Aye Private FuckFace, I gotta talk to you. A sergeant and 2 corporals came in with him and closed the door behind them. For some reason I forgot that I was totally nude and thought it’d be a good idea to just start playin a movie again and pretend like I didn’t hear them

They walked around the corner into the living room to see me naked on the couch making them freeze and recalculate for a few seconds

I tried to not look up at them and continue watching my phone

“Well what do we have here” the sergeant said walking up to me

“Uh, uh, nothing much sergeant, just watchin a movie, you?”

“Me? What do I have? Let’s see, I’m given the task of coming to scald you for going out in public today and not shaving, what is this? Like my 3rd time telling you in the last week since you’ve been here that you have to shave EVERY DAY. And now I have YOU sitting on the couch, buck ass naked with beer cans on the table” he yelled knocking my partially full can over

“So that’s what we’re doing now? Underage drinking in base housing, not shaving. Sitting in the couch naked, legs open, not even trying to cover yourself, you know I told you if you kept fucking up I was gonna cum on your fucking face Private Cummings, I wasnt joking” he said unbuckling his belt

It didn’t register with me the first time, but it did the second, I’m so fucked up right now that I totally forgot that I was nude, fuck. Wait did he just say he was gonna fuck my face!?

I went to get up off the couch but he pushed me hard when I got half way up, sending me back on the couch.

“Now you know the rules to this, you can try to get out of this but I doubt you’ll be able too” he said nodding to the two corporals as he pulled his 5 inch hard dick out

I went to get up a second time but the corporals went behind the couch, each grabbing an arm and holding it back so I can’t go anywhere

“Suck” he said dick inches away from my mouth

“Fuck that” I screamed trying to spit on his dick as a sign of disrespect

Due to my slow reaction time the moment I tried to build up saliva and spit out on his dick, he just Jammed it in my mouth the second I opened it

I didn’t dare move, I’m not gonna fuck him up by hitting his dick but I’m not sucking it ether

I quit trying to fight to get up and just fell back into the couch more trying to get the dick to come back out my mouth

“Private FuckFace you are to suck my dick until I cum in your mouth, do you understand? That’s an order soldier” the sergeant said yelling at me

The moment he said “that’s an order” it’s like the combination of my boot camp instincts and this Cummings guy’s kicked in and I just quit resisting giving in and sucking his dick

Like a good soldier does, I gave it my all trying to do a good job and I suppose I did cause he yelled “I’m about to cum” I sped up a bit just so I can be done with this gay shit, the moment he started to blow his load in my mouth I quit sucking, but he wouldn’t pull out

I looked up to see my sergeant looking down on me, saying “you know the rules, now swallow, Private”

The moment I swallowed my sergeant nodded again and the corporals finally let go, they came back around the couch laughing

“Oh my god sergeant did he actually do it? Haha” one of them said laughing

“Yep, he swallowed it, which by Marine Social Code, means you, private fuck face, are officially my bitch now and have to do whatever I say whenever I say it” the sergeant said with a smile

“Bro what the fuck is wrong with y’all, fuck that I’m not nobodies bitch, you just mad a private has a bigger dick then you dude” I said standing up

“Private I told you, you know the rules, if anyone is able to take you by force and make you swallow their cum, your their bitch now, you could have gotten out of the hold we had you in, you just decided to say fuck your training, I feel like becoming a bitch all of a sudden right? Just accept it for what it is and do what I say like a good little bitch”

One of the corporals decided to tap the sergeant and ask him a question

“So uh, sense he’s your bitch now, do we get any sort of compensation for helping you? I mean he did put up a fight in the beginning and make us put some effort into holding him down, for someone that decided to become a bitch, he should have known he shouldn’t fight with his superiors” one of them said

The sergeant smiled and said “perhaps… Private go ahead and suck these two’s dicks aswell, take as much time as you’d like”

“No dude what the fuck is your problem I’m not doing that gay shit I’m a marine” I said angrily

“Private, you will suck these two men’s dick, that’s an order” the sergeant said

Once again it was like something in me was triggered and I proceeded to get down on my knees to make it easier for them to stick it in.

“ and you might be a marine but your a fresh marine, ment to be made into whatever the fuck we want you to be, if we want you to be the bottom bitch of the whole platoon, guess what your doing? Suckin dick just like we want you too” the sergeant said as I was giving one of the corporal the works

Both the corporals were bigger than the sergeant, so my only assuming is that the sergeant likes to get drunk with his power and assert it whenever he can, like now

After I got done blowing the first corporal, just like the sergeant did… he ordered me to swallow after cumming in my mouth. laughing, he pulled out and let the 2nd corporal take his turn

This time I didn’t need any instructions and just knew to swallow that way his dick come out my mouth faster, I hated every second of this, I thought the marine corps was the straight bad ass branch but I guess their even worse than the navy somehow

As I swallowed the 2nd corporal’s load I moved my eyes and glanced over at sergeant to see a pissed off expression

“What sergeant, I’m just doing what you told me to do” I said feeling the urge to please my superior officers

“I told you to suck their dicks, I didn’t necessarily say to let them cum in your mouth and swallow it, did i” he said rubbing his hands against the sides of the his temple

“Your point” i asked

“My point is now that you swallowed their cum, your all of our’s bitch now…. man you must really love this don’t you? It’s ok private, I knew from the beginning you must be a little gay from our first encounter, with that being said, we’ll round up the rest of the platoon and make sure you have plenty of cum to swallow and dicks to suck by the end of the week, I’m sure the rest of the guys will be ecstatic to find out they can get free blowjobs whenever they want and not have to go out into town to get it. Good work private” he said now smirking a little bit

“Ok I’ll leave the rest to you two” sergeant said and then walked out

Once the sergeant walked out the corporals both started dying laughing

“Hold up just stay right there private, ima make a call to the E-4 Mafia and get you some more dicks to suck tonight” one of them said pulling out their phone and started reading aloud the text he was sending to a group chat

“E-4 mafia, new platoon bitch is with me right now, drunk as fuck, giving out free blowjobs and swallowing, hit me up if you’d like to get in on this day one, goal is to get him to swallow every guy in the platoon by the end of the week” and send he said

Guys, come on now, this isn’t cool, y’all are gonna make me get a STD or something, you really want that? I said panicking

“Really only a problem for the ones after/if you get one private, but I think most would say it’d be a fair trade off in the hopes of having a platoon wide bitch, it’s gonna be a long 4 years for you dude haha” he said sitting down on the couch keeping an eye on me to make sure I don’t escape before his buddies show up

For some reason thinking about what just happened has me getting hard, the sergeant can go kill himself for all I care, but just like my new marine body, these corporals are starting to look kinda hot

The one that send out the group chat noticed I got hard and addressed me

“You find this hot Cummings” he said with a sly smile on his face

“I got something for you private, just go ahead and close your eyes and start stroking your dick dude, slowly”

I do so, and next thing I know I hear the corporal searching his bag behind me untill he found something, I herd a bag open and he asked me

“ do you like poppers private”

“I love them! What type of popper tho? Like jalapeño poppers?” I said starting to sound excited from the sound of food, drinking on a empty stomach wasn’t my brightest idea

As I’m still stroking my uncut cock I feel the corporal grab the back of my head and go

“ no these ones” he said as he forced my face into the bag inhaling chemicals

It suddenly felt like my dick was about to explode and so I let go immediately but it was too late

My dick started to twitch for a few seconds before I shot my load all over myself

“Noo!! What the fuck was that I yelled”

What I thought you said you liked poppers? I just figured I’d help you get off since you’ll be helping a lot of guys tonight he said with that same sly smile

My whole life has been turned upside down, I was hoping if I could make it pass the next few days the B.E.P. Would swap us back knowing I never cummed, not wanting the swap to be locked in

But now I’m stuck as this private Cummings guy for sure, since the corporal wanted to mess with me and make me cum myself, locking me in this body for years to come

#edit, I’ll try to make a patreon next week where y’all can see the pictures I really want to use for these stories 😏

[somewhere-at-the-burrow]

𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝐿𝐸𝒜𝒢𝒰𝐸 𝒞𝒰𝒫

⤹ 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐬 // 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐊𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐬 !

(( I finally made it to a professional quidditch game! ever since I got into shifting, I have been waiting for this moment and this post is inspired by what it was like and how absolutely immersive this experience was. I only stayed for one day, so this was the main event of my shift last night! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS FINALLY HAPPENED CAN YOU TELL IM EXCITED !! holding myself together all day until the moment i'm writing this has been unbearable and all I want to do is tell someone about this so let's begin!!))

★ it is pretty common for most professional League games to be held at a large pitch in Dartmoor. it is a permanent structure that can be visited by portkey / floo network (similar to the World Cup). for the final game in the League, many many people came to watch and the area was full of people camping out overnight to spend time at the fairgrounds !

★ I honestly did not expect the event to encompass that much space, but when we got there rows of tents and vendors lined the grassy fields and I was so grateful that my friends and I decided to come a couple hours earlier

★ in the fairgrounds, there were so many quidditch centered vendors selling a range of things from broom kits to the latest gloves to luxury brooms

★ the luxury brooms were absolutely breathtaking to look at! i am such a quidditch geek in this reality, so Cedric had to physically drag me away from this one display of a foreign racing broom that was so stunning and sleek IF I GET RICH IM COMING BACK FOR IT

★ the whole environment was more magical than I could've even imagined. the whole time we walked to the pitch, music and the sound of little trick charms surrounded us. there were tiny fireworks and whistles and bagpipes, too. it was overstimulating but in an enthralling way... I never wanted to leave, truly.

★ another thing that was completely fascinating to me was the giant pictures of the team players moving around and waving and doing all sorts of portrait shenanigans. these were on the side of the pitch!

★ ONE OF THE KESTRELS CHASERS OH MY LORD. his name was Conor Quinn and the whole time Ginny and I kept looking at each other every time we saw his poster because that man is so attractive. it came with scrutiny from the boys, but no regrets!!!

★ when the game was about to start, it was so exhilarating because it was a crowd effort. the crowd was involved in so many chants and hearing the rush of people screaming for their favorite players was so so cool (i was unashamedly chanting as well. looking back, I was kind of obnoxious but oh well! that is the experience!)

★ a chant I remember so vividly was a series of claps while people synchronized "HOLYHEAD .... HAR-PIES!". I swear the entire Harpies fanbase was there we CARRIED the chants

★ when I tell you this quidditch game was in my top five moments of life... I cried when the ball was released & I have no shame!!

★ the Harpies were behind by quite a bit in the first half of the game, and we genuinely thought they were going to lose. in this reality, the snitch is worth a different amount of points, so if Grace Belling (the Harpies seeker) would've caught it, they still would have lost

★ sometime around this point, one of the older beaters (Finn O'Cleary) got knocked off of his broom and when I say he was older I THOUGHT HE DIED. that poor guy just layed in the pitch for so long until the substitute came in and it was such a dramatic turn of events we didn't even know what to do in the stands

★ nonetheless, the Harpies caught up again and everything was so expertly planned it was AMAZING

★ the nose dives?? the sharp turns around the stands?? IT WAS SO EXPERTLY EXECUTED and Iris and I were on the edge of our seats trying to memorize the moves to use next year in quidditch

★ it's no surprise but the Harpies caught the snitch and they won!! they waited until their points were exactly 10 over before they went for the snitch, which was so risky last minute but it made for such a thrilling game!!

★ the crowd was absolutely WILD. especially since it was the seeker's first year on the professional team and she already won the League Cup. the players were flying over the chanting crowds and everything was ballistic

★ Ginny and I were throwing our hands up and I hit Harry really hard accidentally and I felt so bad and he just brushed it off saying I was having a good time. it ended up bonding us more though and we shopped around together in the final shop before we left!

★ I got the COOLEST poster for my room. i've made it a goal in each of my DRs to collect as many knickknacks as possible for my room, so this moving poster of the updated team was perfect :)

★ anyway, the party was very much still going at the fairgrounds when we left around dusk... my god the irish really did "have their pride on!!"

note: i realized i wrote so so much (and i could still write more!) but here is what it was like for me! truly one of the best nights of my life.

we ended up going home and having dinner in the garden, which i might write about as well bc that is kind of a family tradition on big days!

much love if you've read this far!!

daphne (your local harpies fanatic)

[boyfiejay]

Soulmate AU

PAIRING : Jungwon x gn Reader

GENRE : soulmates, fated to be

Warning : reader has mixed feeling about this soulmate thing, they go to different schools, jungwon is a gentleman, reader is whipped for him, mention of a cut on readers wrist (not SH), swearing like once

Word Count : 1.3k (how tf😧)

Author's Note : pinterest pushed me to write this, like i saw that bracelet photo and i had to write this. Why do my periods have to hurt me so bad, im going to kms😂

Sunoo Version

You've always felt like an outsider, so different from people around you. You were constantly surrounded by couples, soulmates to be exact. To be honest, you found the idea of soulmates a little bit too much, too controlling as to how you had spend your life with someone you've just met.

But there was still comfort in that thought, as controlling this whole thing sounded, it still was a reassurance that there is a person who is so much suited for you that they can be called your soulmate. That no matter what at the end of the day, that person understood you better than anyone else, even if they've known you for mere hours.

So really do you find these soulmates? Everyone is given a bracelet with a distinct charm on it at the young age of 10. These charms are supposed to link together when you meet them, they're stuck together for as long as the charm wants.

And although your charm was pretty looking, it still got stuck in inconvenient things. Your wrists turning red at the harsh metal. It looked pretty but was a bit too uncomfortable.

Although the thought of soulmates made you feel giddy, couples were insufferable in your early years of high school, constantly reminding you what you did not have. Or what you did not find.

But as you grew older, your excitement about finding your soulmate grew less and less. Many people found their soulmates at the beginning of high school, some even in middle school. Your parents found each other when they were 15, your older brother found his soulmate when he was 16. And at the age of 18, you felt everyone look down on you with pity.

And whatever hope you had, had started to diminish as you were now in your last year of high school. Just a year away from graduation, everyone around you was constantly worried about whether you would find your 'meant-to-be' or not.

Finding your soulmate way later in life wasn't unheard of, but the chances of finding that person becomes really low the older you get.

And so your parents decided for you that you should meet new people, hangout more often because apparently the reason you haven't found your soulmate is because you don't socialise. Which is understandable, considering you only have a set of friends that you interact with.

Thankfully, you did not have any problem with making friends. But sticked to the few you trusted, well because everyone at your school is either a crackhead, doesn't understand boundaries or just so much drama. So you happily agreed to going our more often when your parents mentioned.

But what was annoying was that you were being dragged to a different school's yearly festivals. Well not really annoying, now that you were promised a treat from your friends.

Someone in the group, you failed to notice who, had mentioned that you all should split in groups and explore whatever you wanted, since everyone wanted to do a different thing. And initially you had two of your friends with you, but after a while of mindlessly strolling you realised that you were alone, your friends vanishing, leaving you with a cat plushie you won.

You wandered around, looking around to find your friends as well as looking for something interesting to waste your money on.

You spotted someone wearing an orange beret, similar to what your friend had worn in the morning. Unfortunately the person was slowly going out of your line of sight and merging into the crowd. You had to move quickly and soon enough you were trying to push past a bunch of people.

You broke into a small jog, the person finally in your line of sight. But just then you felt a harsh tug on your wrist, it definitely wasn't someones hand that was gripping yours.

It didn't take you long to realise what the tug was, you slowly turned, hoping that your bracelet didn't get stuck in some random person's sleeve.

As you turned, you were met with wide worried eyes that were scanning your wrist. Your eyes moved down, still internally hoping, and the sight that you had dreamed numerous times was in front of you. In that moment, you just felt this strong urge to cry, no one in your life could understand the times you had felt alone while everyone around you just seemed so happy.

And no matter how much you try to gaslight yourself, you had desperately wanted to meet your soulmate. Everyone described it like such an enchanting moment, your mom said it felt like sparks were flying, you would feel that you've known this person your whole life.

But right now, the person in front of you seemed so unfazed about the fact that he had just found his soulmate. Rather he was focused on the fact that your wrist was bright red, it burned due to the harsh tug and there was a small cut that he hasn't seen yet.

"Are you okay?" he said, finally meeting your eyes, his own searching for any pain on your face. Surely you felt enchanted, not only because this was your soulmate, but also because he was the epitome of 'handsome yet cute'.

He tilted his eyes, confused at you blankly staring. No scratch that, he was cute as fuck.

Snapping out of the trance he had put on you, you say "Yeah, I'm fine." your whole face was burning up at his intense staring. You were surprised you managed to sound normal.

"I don't think this is gonna let go any time soon." he said, talking about the charms. "Do you mind if we hung out together? Consider this our first date. My name is Jungwon." he said, gently smiling, dimples appearing on his cheeks. God he was too cute.

Clearing your throat, you managed to nod and return his smile, your eyes still staring at his dimples.

He looked behind his to tell his friends to go on without him, you just realised that there were around half a dozen people behind his that were just staring at you, trying to bore holes into you. A couple of them had a teasing smile when you looked at them, two of them covering their wide open mouths. Only one person seemed laid back and he motioned Jungwon to go on, dragging the others away with him.

Jungeon looked back at you after making sure his friends weren't fooling around or staring at you, "Let's go?" he said still smiling. You felt like you were going to combust.

The rest of the day was spent getting to know each other, Jungwon surprisingly being a very easy person to talk to. You both opened up about how you two were the only people in your respective friend groups who were soulmate-less, "Well, not anymore." was his reply, with a cheeky grin, avoiding your eyes.

And despite how respective he was, he was also flirty. Like not flirty in a creepy way, he was still respectful of your boundaries but he had some kind of charm that just made you flush bright red. Or maybe you were just whipped for him, despite knowing him for such a small time.

With red cheeks and shy waves, and a promise to meet again, the date had ended.

You could finally understand why people could write whole books just about their soulmates, you felt such a deep sense of endearment when you looked at him. You finally understood why your friends were so whipped for their soulmates, constantly yapping about them.

Your friends were surely going to hear an earful for leaving you alone, but you had a feeling that you were going to talk way more about Jungwon.

[sturnsbella]

the right person

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: matt was right about the guy y/n was talking to being an asshole, but he helps her anyways.

warnings: underage drinking, panic attack and cheating (?)

y/n - pink

matt - blue

madi - red

nick - purple

chris - orange

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

marylou is my mom’s best friend since college, because of their friendship, me and the triplets grew up together. they were like family, we always spent holidays together and we met every week. getting older, we just got closer. nick was always my best friend, chris was like a older, annoying, funny and carrying older brother, and matt… he was kinda different?

when we were like 13, i had a crush on him, and everyone knew it, i was really bad at hiding it. he probably didn’t like me back, since he was 15 and probably saw me as a younger sister or something like that. i hated that, he was so weird with me. he acted like we were just friends but when i started to talk to a boy he was super overprotective, almost like he was jealous. i never understood that.

i got over him years ago, but recently he has been kinda flirty with me. i always take it as a joke, but sometimes i don’t know if it really is..

anyways, it doesn’t matter ‘cause i’m talking to somebody else now.

-

madi, one of the friends we have in common, is throwing a party today, i have 10 minutes until matt, chris and nick come to pick me up. my hair is loose and i did two little braids in the front. i’m wearing a black open backless top, and a tight jeans skirt. my makeup is done, i just apply gloss to finish while admiring myself in the mirror. i take a couple of selfies before laying on my bed and posting it.

matt’s pov

i’m scrolling on instagram waiting for my brothers when i see y/n’s post. she looks really good. i like the picture and comment:

@matthew.sturniolo - “picking you up rn. good pics btw 📸”

it only takes her a few seconds to reply:

@y/n.y/l/n - “ok im waiting. tks 📸”

under my comment a see the comment of the guy she’s talking to:

@evan_williams - “🔥”

i roll my eyes. he’s an asshole and it pisses me off that y/n doesn’t see it. she deserves someone better than him, she is so sweet and kind and i’m not even sure he likes her.

y/n’s pov

i grab my purse while walking to the door when the triplets arrive at my house. i get in the car sitting next to nick.

“hii you’re looking so good y/n/n”

“thank youu” i say smiling.

chris looks at me and smiles

“you really are”

matt glances at me

“yeah you look hot”

i giggle a bit and blush

“shut up”

we listen to music and sing all the way to the party, not talking about anything. we get to the house and we all leave the car.

“y/n/n do you know if evan’s coming?”

“yeah he’ll come. but he won’t stay much tho, he’s grounded or something”

i say as we go to the door. and i notice matt guets quiet when we talk about evan.

“what?”

i say staring at him.

“nothing”

“what is it?”

“you know he’s an asshole, right?”

i roll my eyes at him, i know he doesn’t like evan but he never likes any guy i talk to, is annoying.

“i’ll go grab a drink, do you guys want anything?”

i go to the kitchen after they all said no. in the kitchen i find madi, we take a few shots and then we go dancing.

mini time skip

me, madi and a bunch of other people are dancing with the loud music playing. i still haven’t seen evan, so i text him.

“heyy, are u still coming?”

he took a few minutes to answer the text

“hey, no i won’t make it sorry”

“oh, okay” i text back. i show my phone to madi.

“it’s okay we don’t need him here, let’s drink”

we go to the kitchen once again, and while i’m making my drink i notice madi’s eyes going wide, i look to where she was looking.

“y/n don’t-“

she says trying to stop me from seeing evan hooking up with another girl on the corner of the room. i’m speechless. i mean, we didn’t have anything too serious but i wasn’t hooking up with any other guys, and he told me he liked me… i turn my head to madi again

“i can’t believe him”

“omg i’m so sorry y/n”

“it’s fine”

it’s not, he was so nice to me, i really liked him. and it all just reminded me from when i caught my ex boyfriend cheating on me with my (ex) best friend. my mind racing as my breath got heavier.

“i’ll be right back”

i go to the bathroom, close the door and lean myself on the sink. i stare at myself in the mirror with my eyes filled with tears. it gets hard to breathe when my tears run down my face. i hear someone knock on the door.

“y/n/n?”

matt opens the door, i look at him crying and trying to breathe. he closes the door behind him and rushes to come try to calm me down.

“y/n it’s okay. you are okay”

i shake my head

“you can get through this, okay?” he says breathing deeply trying to make me follow his breath.

“focus on my breathing”

he wipes my tears, i begin to slow down my breathing and calming down.

“matt” i try to speak

“shh, is okay.” he gives a slight smile trying not to look so nervous to help me. i hug him, trying to stop crying.

“i should’ve listened to you”

“don’t say that, you couldn’t know”

“why does everyone fucking replace me like that?”

“it’ll be okay, y/n/n, you got me”

we stay like that in silence for a while. he lets me go and holds my face, wiping my last tear.

“let’s get out of here before i fucking punch him”

i nod, smiling slightly. i’m kinda embarrassed matt saw me like this. i’m not even that sensitive but i think with the alcohol and all.. it was a just lot.

-

the drive back was silent. i was sitting on the passenger’s seat, chris didn’t even said anything about it, he understood something had happened.

i notice that matt isn’t driving back to my place.

matt’s pov

“matt where are we going?”

y/n asks me looking confused

“you’re sleeping over at our house today”

she smiles. i wouldn’t let her be alone right now, she’s too drunk, plus with what happened with evan i don’t want her to do anything stupid.

after 10 minutes in the car i notice y/n fell asleep. “she’s cute” i think to myself, hoping chris and nick didn’t notice me blushing over her. when we get to our house, nick and chris go inside letting me with y/n.

i carry her inside the house and to my bedroom, where i place here on my bed. i turn around to pick up a hoodie for her to sleep in, when i turn to her i see she woke up.

“hey” she smiles

“wear this, i’ll be sleeping on chris’s room if you need anything.” i say turning my back at her.

“matty” i look at her waiting for her to speak.

“can you stay here?”

i smile at her question and nod. i go to lay down next to y/n, facing her.

“you’re okay?”

“i will be. i just…” she pauses “i wish someone would really stay. what is wrong with me? why does everyone always leaves?”

“nothing’s wrong with you, y/n. you’re perfect. he was the problem.”

“he wasn’t even the first one to cheat on me”

“you’ll be alright, y/n/n. you’ll find the right person”

“you think so?”

“i’m sure.” i smile and nod. i wrap my arm around y/n’s waist as she lays her head on my chest. i caress her hair until she falls asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

first fic ughhhh how do we feel?

i have ideas for part 2 but idkk..

i hope you guys like it, sorry for any mistakess

- xoxo bella

😚

[horanghaeluvsinniehae]

PRE-DEBUT SKZ X 9TH GN!MEMBER PT.2 Pairing:stray kids x gn!member

Disclaimer: anxiety, bit of negative thoughts, mention of food(ramen and tteokbokki)(if i missed anything please tell me!)

previous/\next

You stared at the last message you got from Chan…you were so excited but very nervous at the same time to meet them all, meet your group.

You know that it’s going to be a bit harder to get used to the boys because they’re already bonded and know each other…but what eases your overthinking is that you’ll be debuting together and will share those memories with each other.

You put your phone down to go get changed out of your practice clothes. After you were in presentable clothes you washed your face. Looked at your phone and realised you had to get going. The last thing you wanted was for your first impression to be that you’re late… After picking up your backpack and ensuring you don't leave anything behind, you made your way to the elevator.

Stepping into the elevator you took a deep breath and pushed the button to take you down to the lobby. Standing in the lift you start overthinking this whole situation and whether it’ll go well or not. You’re so deep in these thoughts that you don’t realise that the lift stopped and other people got on too.

You bow and greet the group, but you don’t look up at them properly. They greet you too and push the same button as you already had pushed.

“Chan hyung, are you not nervous to meet y/n?” Asked one of the taller ones looking at a boy with dirty blonde hair and a soft smile.

You completely froze after you heard your name. Your brain started to figure out what you should do, but your mouth spoke faster than your brain could think of anything appropriate…

“Hi um, I'm y/n…are you Stray Kids? It’s so nice to meet you guys I'm so excited-“ After you realised what you were doing you stopped talking and looked down very embarrassed while mumbling sorry a couple thousand times.

“Oooh y/n! Gosh so nice to meet you!! And yeah we’re Stray Kids! Im Bang Chan, you were texting with me and I'm the leader, it’s so nice to meet you!” Said Chan excitedly while putting his hand out to shake your hand.

You shyly took his hand and bowed again while still very much embarrassed. Luckily for you, the elevator dinged again indicating that you arrived at your original meeting place. You got out and Chan led you all to the sofas in the lobby.

“Okay so kids this is y/n and they’ll be our new member from now on!” Chan said introducing you to the rest. “Y/nah can you say something about yourself please?” Chan looked at you and you nodded at him nervously.

“Um hi, I’m Choi y/n, 16 years old and I trained at Hybe for a year and a half but then got sent away and started as a trainee at Jype! I have two older brothers and they live in Daejeon with my parents. I’m so excited to be in a group with you guys and I hope you don’t mind me joining like this…” You said and looked at your feet anxiously.

“Of course, we don’t mind! By the way Y/n, do you speak any other languages or just Korean?” Chan asks and a small boy with blondish hair perks up at the mention of English.

“I speak English almost fluently and a bit of Japanese but I understand more than I speak though…” You said and the small boy from earlier looked back at Chan with an enthusiastic smile.

“That’s so awesome! Okay so let me introduce my members!” Chan said and started introducing everyone.

You learnt that Chan is from Australia, and so is Felix, the small boy who earlier was looking at Chan very happily while speaking of English. He’s still learning Korean and can only understand Chan properly, but now that you’re here he can talk to someone else too.

Then there’s Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and Jeonging who’s now the ex maknae because you’re a year younger. Everyone seems so kind and just a bunch of bubbles of energy. You memorised their names pretty quickly and after the small introduction, you walked to the dorms, which is approximately a fifteen-minute walk from the company building.

While you were walking there you tried to get used to the boys and how they behave. Even though you were exhausted from your earlier practice and were anxious to meet them, they were easy to get along with and one by one your worries slowly started to disappear.

You were just walking and observing your new members and how they banter with each other with an amused smile when someone tapped your shoulder.

“Hey, Y/n! I hope you will be able to feel at home in the dorms and with us too!” Said Felix and smiled at you brightly.

You smiled back at him and thanked him for being kind. Couple minutes went by and you arrived at the dorms. It wasn’t anything big, but just enough for the nine of you.

It has four decent sized bedrooms so that means two people per room. Had two bathrooms which is a bit rough as you heard from the boys but it is what it is. Also a big living room and an open kitchen. It looked cozy and you liked it a lot!!

After the dorm tour Minho went into the kitchen to prepare some ramen with tteokboki for lunch for everyone . Jisung went after him to help and the rest of you guys got comfortable on the couch.

“Y/n do you know what position they’re gonna put you as?” Asked Jeongin while looking at you.

“Um if I know right I’ll be lead dancer.” You told him.

“Woaah then get ready because Minho hyung will be strict with you! He’s our main dancer.” Said Felix and giggled next to Jeongin. You smiled too, getting excited at the thought of being a full member now and having the same schedules.

You feel so happy that they’re asking you questions and not pushing you away. They’re very kind and accepting and you already love that.

A/N: hi guys! I hope this satisfied your expectations!! Please tell me your thoughts on it!! Take care of yourselves and be safe please!!

[sm-baby]

Able strikes me as… the kind of person that does things right naturally. Like for the carnival AU, I bet in real life he was just good at everything without even trying. Everyone likes him, he’s just great in his own, I bet him and Caine even look similar, like the kind where the real only difference is maybe height, and style.

Caine is the younger brother that is jealous, he is extremely jealous even if he doesn’t want to be. He wants to be content with himself, but it is so damn hard with a sibling that even unintentionally looms over you. Getting mistaken for them at places, and when people meet you it’s always “Oh you’re Able’s brother” or “oh I hope you’ll be like him” and it’s a little flattering but mostly discouraging mentally. He wants to be like Able, but he knows he can’t.

Like a couple years back when my sister graduated a year early in high school, literally a cyber expert by the time she got out, and already years in on collage work, meanwhile I was your average struggling student, so even though she’s my favorite older sibling, we look similar, sound similar, hell, some people have mistaken me for her but with shorter hair. I know that having someone loom over you like that, someone everyone likes, everyone loves, and is just better in every way, it makes you go to the darkest places at times.

And that’s just me— from what you’ve said of Caine’s family, they just seem toxic. Caine if five times better than me and even my older sister who’s amazing, he knows so many languages and is so awesome in general, yet his parents have the nerve to do his. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a fucked up yin-yang sibling story, so I can really sort of relate to what u assume Caine is going through. It’s hard when you have similar interests, looks, and so much more with someone, yet everyone just loves them, and not you, and you have no clue why. And you want to be proud, you are proud, you’re happy, but some part of you deep inside just wishes you didn’t exist, or that the person you’re always compared to didn’t exist, so then no one would be able to compare you. Sometimes it’s obvious, people saying the differences, other times it’s fully a mental thing, I never was compared to my older sister by parents, but it’s a like a part of me knew that I was insignificant.

If it’s anything like the personal relationship I have with this person in my life, Caine and Able are close, but there are moments where it just bubbles through, the destain and/or harsh thoughts finally get to the surface of the water. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an argument because Caine snapped at Able and started talking about how damn great Able is to everyone. My older sibling seems a bit like Able, and she never was forced into being perfect, it’s just natural for them. It’s a rocky relationship, when you know you love that person, that sibling means the world to you, but there’s that envy in part of you. I would sort of like it if this is expanded on more, maybe just a bit because I find it somewhat personal, you don’t have to, but I think it would be interesting if this was specifically shown somewhere. Siblings relationships are tough, but I personally know that… this particular style, the kind of sibling relationship I have with that one older sibling and the relationship Caine and Able have, is extremely hard. Because it never goes away, that spite and the small bit of hatred, but you just have to live with it, you blame yourself for your shortcomings, it never leaves, but you still stay close. They’re still your favorite person, still someone that you feel like you can share everything with, and you learn that you can’t get over those bad feeling, they just exist.

…I really need to stop writing when I’m half asleep. Might continue on how Carnival Pomni is similar to me, next time I’m half asleep and typing/j

*pat pat* it will definitely be touched upon... Im too proud of Caine's writing to leave him in the dark... Im so happy you relate to him that way, and Im sorry to hear how rocky your relationship is with your sister. Best of luck to both of you <3

[collapsedglasshouses]

WOULD YOU SAY I'M WORTHY? || TWO

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x OFC ; slight Nick Folio x OFC

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @saradika-graphics

SUMMARY: When Eden meets Noah, her life is anything but perfect. Her heart is far more broken than Noah can even guess at this point. Will he be able to mend the wounds he hadn’t caused?

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, eventually smut, mentions of grief/loss, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of mental health issues, mentions of illnesses

A/N: OMG. I didn't expect the first part to go that well. Thank you for every comment, like or reblog (especially the rebloggers, ily with all my heart)! im sorry it took me so long to upload part two, i had a lot to do irl. but here it is! i hope you like it!

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @lma1986 @missduffsblog @cookiesupplier @thescarlettvvitch @bngurngheart @dream-machine-love @arkiliastuff @vinyardmauro @lacktoesandtoddlerants @princessmarshmallowx @circle-with-me @thisbicc @xxkittenkissesxx @malerieee @smoke-in-diamond-shape (pls dont be mad if i missed someone, just remind me, im clumsy sometimes)

If you wanna be added to the story's taglist or to my taglist in general, leave a comment or message me privately!

MASTERPOST || MASTERLIST

Eden had been staring at her phone for forty minutes straight.

After waking up, her thoughts had been running constantly. She didn’t have a costume, she wasn’t in the mood to go out, she had just turned 26. All she had done since waking up an hour ago was shower and brushing her teeth. She stood in her kitchen, still wrapped in her towel and her wet, unbrushed hair just dangled over her shoulders.

She knew she was overreacting, but everything reminded her of the things she desperately wanted to suppress.

She had been staring at Nick’s messages from the previous night with a weird feeling in her stomach. She didn’t even know what brought her to the point of agreeing to go to a party. A birthday party of a man she didn’t know, while she also tried to suppress the thoughts about her own age.

She was snapped out of her thoughts, when her phone began to ring. Her sister.

Should she answer?

She continued to stare at her phone.

The call went away.

Thank god.

She blinked for a couple of seconds, while she felt her heart beating so fast that she actually thought for a second, she was going to have a heart attack.

Then her phone rang again. Her sister again. She bit her lip for a second, before she sighed. She knew, she couldn’t ignore all the calls for the whole day, so she grabbed her phone and answered with a simple “Hello.”

“Took you some time.” Her sister answered and Eden could picture the sweet smile plastered on her sister’s face. Her little sister Raven was four years younger than her. At first, her parents hadn’t really planned on having another child, but when her mom fell pregnant with Raven, they were all over the moon. Eden couldn’t remember most of the time before Raven was born, but she remembered vividly how excited they all were when she finally was here.

She always had been the complete opposite of her older sister. While Eden was rather quiet and liked to be alone, Raven enjoyed the company of each and every individual around her. Raven liked to speak; Eden hated it. Raven was great at school; Eden wasn’t.

Even though they were basically polar opposites of each other, Eden loved her dearly and they always got along. But things had changed after Eden moved away from their hometown. She found herself not liking the company of anyone anymore. She knew it hurt Raven, but at the same time she felt like Raven was the only one that understood her and her decisions.

“Sorry, I was showering.” Eden quietly answered her little sister.

For a couple of seconds, it was rather quiet. It seemed like Raven tried to find the right words.

“I know, you hate it, but I wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday.” Raven began. “Mom told me to wish you all the best from them too, but they didn't want to bother you any longer than necessary.”

Eden swallowed. She knew she had been a pain in the ass the last couple of months, but she didn’t realize she had driven her parents to the point of not even wanting to call her.

She tried to swallow her doubts, before mumbling a response. “Thank you. I’m sorry for being so quiet.”

“Oh… Don’t worry, Eden. We love you.” Raven answered her quickly and tried to sound as happy as possible, but Eden heard the worry in her voice.

“I’m going to a party today.” Eden than exclaimed, to calm her sister’s nerves and seemingly it worked.

“Are you for real?” Raven exclaimed excitedly. “Yes, I am.” – “Where? Who? I-…?”

Eden laughed quietly. She really missed her sister. She really did.

“A friend of mine invited me to the birthday party of his friend.” Eden answered her sister with a small smile on her face.

“A friend or a friend?” Raven then wanted to know. Eden knew for a fact that Raven was wiggling her eyebrows while asking that question.

“A friend.” Eden rolled her eyes. She knew this was coming.

“Sorry, I was just asking.” – “You know, it wouldn’t be this way before you even asked, Raven.”

“Yes, I know. I just wanted to make a joke… I’m sorry.” Raven apologized.

After that, it was quiet again.

“Please don’t be mad at me, Eden.” – “I’m not, Raven. Don’t worry.” – “It was really insensitive of me… Considering, you're not-…” – “It’s really okay, Raven.”

It was quiet again. Eden wanted to cry because of the awkwardness.

“I… You know… Imma... I need to go.” Raven then said and Eden’s heart hurt. This was exactly how she didn’t want this to go.

“Okay. See ya.” Eden then answered and soon the call ended.

Eden felt bad. Everything felt bad. She just wanted to curl into a ball on her couch and never move again.

She looked at the clock and realized, she needed to head out sooner than later, to find a costume, if she wanted to be on time for the party. So, she sighed and got ready. Before she went out, she ate a bowl of cereal and then grabbed her keys.

While she was walking to her car, she covered her head with her hand. It had started to rain like crazy.

Right as she reached her car, her phone buzzed. It was Nick.

Nick: Just wanted to see if you would come tonight… Nick: I mean, since you didn’t answer yesterday…

Eden starred at her phone for a second, before she answered.

Eden: was about to head out to get a costume

She thought for a second, before she texted again.

Eden: maybe you wanna join me?

Nick instantly answered.

Nick: send me the location and ill be there

Eden sat in her car, nervously biting her fingernails as she waited for Nick to arrive. The Halloween store's neon sign flickered above her, casting a somewhat spooky glow on the damp pavement. She glanced at her phone and saw a text from Nick, confirming his arrival.

Nick: two minutes…

She took a deep breath and stepped out of her car, feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety. The rain had stopped, leaving a crisp chill in the air.

As she entered the store, the scent of latex and plastic immediately crept up into her nose. Rows of costumes, masks, and accessories sat in front of her, ready to be explored. Eden wandered through the aisles, unsure of where to start. Her eyes scanned the racks of costumes, ranging from spooky to silly. She felt totally overwhelmed.

It had been a while since she last dressed up for Halloween. To be exact, it had been about ten years. She also didn’t quite remember what happened on said Halloween, since she had been more than drunk. The only thing she vividly remembered was how she puked her brains out that night.

Before she could think about it any longer, she heard someone enter the store and was soon met with Nick’s broad smile that was almost contagious to her.

"Eden! Happy Birthday!" he exclaimed and hugged the girl for short second while she started to blush like crazy, his enthusiasm echoing through the store. “Ready to find the perfect costume?”

She nodded, trying to match his energy. "Not really, but let’s do it anyways."

For the next hour, they searched through various options. Eden couldn't decide whether to go for classic monsters or popular characters from movies and TV shows. Nick showed Eden some funny and silly options, making her laugh at his playful behavior.

"How about a giant banana?" Nick suggested, holding up a bright yellow costume.

Eden shook her head, grinning. "I don't think so. I prefer my fruits less... inflatable."

Nick laughed with his full heart, before going on with his search.

Right as Eden set her eyes on a black lacy corset dress, she felt Nick’s presence close to her and jumped when she saw him with a ghost face mask on his face.

“What’s your favorite horror movie, Eden?” Nick asked with a deep tone in his voice, while Eden held her chest. Her heart was beating fast.

“Don’t scare me, Nick!” She shouted and shoved him away from her with a small smile on her face. Nick pulled the mask off while still giggling his ass off.

"How about Ghostface from Scream?" Nick suggested, holding up the iconic white ghostly mask.

Eden's eyes lit up with intrigue. "Actually, that's a great idea, Nick. It's simple, yet mysterious. Let's go for it."

“As mysterious as you.” Nick answered while handing the mask to her. Eden smiled a little to herself, not knowing how to answer him, so she just decided to ignore it.

Eden’s eyes traveled back to the black lacy corset dress in front of her and she decided to spice her costume up a bit. If she was going to have fun for once, she was going to do it right.

“Will you try it on?” Nick asked with a spark of curiosity in his eyes. Eden felt how her cheeks heated up at his expression.

“What if I wanted to surprise you?” She answered him boldly and her mind instantly started to race at her sudden change in demeanor. She didn’t even know why she acted that way.

Nick smiled at her cheekily, before they started to add the last touches to her costume. A pair of fishnet tights, some black gloves and a fake knife. Eden decided she was going to wear her old thigh high boots with it.

As they approached the checkout counter, Eden felt a mix of excitement and amusement. She surprisingly was pretty happy about her choice, and even more, she enjoyed the process with Nick.

Exiting the store, they headed back to their cars with bags in hand. Eden couldn't help but smile at Nick's infectious energy.

"Thanks for helping me pick something out," she said shyly but genuinely grateful.

Nick grinned. "Anytime, Eden. Now, let's make sure you turn heads and give everyone a good scare tonight!"

As they parted ways with a hug to get ready for the evening, Eden felt somewhat excited for the upcoming party, grateful for Nick's help in what she thought would be a complete disaster.

[rudylloyd]

Warning: Rudy gets VERY sappy and a lot of people are abt to be tagged n told how radical they are IM SORRY THAT YOURE GETTING A STUPID NOTIF LIKE THIS

So the past.... Month. Has been very eventful. Coping with a rough break up, work being hard. I'm almost 21 I kinda figured it'd be rough being in my 20s. I really was expecting it to be the end of the world, but then I made a really good choice.

I joined a few discord servers over this month, and I can't begin to explain just how wonderful that's been for my mental health.

I've made so many new beautiful friends who just mean the world to me, and those new friends along with old friends and my beautiful angel wife who's stuck with me while we both heal, it's just nice.

I wanna say a few words [or a lot words. I'm a yapper] and I jus wanna really detail my appreciation for the following people.

@your-pal-smoochins, my perfect angel wife. You and I have had a lot of things against us. You've been such an amazing support system through these past couple years and I don't tell you enough just how much I love and appreciate everything you do for me. You lift me up when I really need it and I've never felt more loved than when you've been by my side. Thanks for being my rock, my sun moon and stars, and just thank you for being mine. You do so much more than you give yourself credit for, having escaped the situation you were in and going to college. You're so strong, and you're my beautiful angel forever.

@carbonateddelusion Rox! You were one of the first friends I made when everything got locked down and my first memory of you was drawing some of my guys. I dunno if you know but those gifts are still in my phone. I look at those and your newer stuff and I'm just beyond amazed at your progress. You've been a really amazing friend and I love you, man. You really rock, rox [yes that was on purpose]

@toondamien Damien!! one of my very first tumblr friends and the guy who lets me use his oc for my story stuff! You're a little older than me, and as such you've kinda been a role model to me. I still look up to you [metaphorically, hehe] and I'm glad you're my No. 1 DSAF mutual. You're great, dude.

@springlucked Spring. Though we only started talking recently, you are still someone I consider a dear friend. Your fics got me out of some really bad art blocks and my really low days. While Dearly Detested makes me cry and fills me with just the right amount of emotions to break a tree in half, you are so awesome. Your writing is so good and you're so humble when you get gift art from people regarding your fics. You are like a slightly bothersome little sister and for that I love you, ya lil punk.

@dexabite Dex Dane Dexabite Freakabite Miller Jekyll Jade [not real name. obviously] my sworn enemy /j. Your art rocks. Your art inspired a lot of my more detailed pieces and your character design stuff actually made me wanna branch out more not just with character design, but also poses and colors! You're an inspiration to this guy who mainly draws that dumb orange boy and ily /p

@igottoo MJ!! Like if I was a second person! You rock dude. Your art? slaps. Your animation? slaps. Your insane jokes? Slaps. you unintentionally gave me a pose reference that made me leap out of my comfort zone and yknow what? People loved it!! And thats because you're so cool! We scarily have a lot in common so the reasonable assumption is we are in fact the same guy [silly] but i love you to BITS /p. My lagomorphed brethren and the guy I'll be sending my Dave doodles to before showing the public. You're a bro, dawg. As the No. 1 Old Sport fan I'm VERY glad I'm best pals with THE No. 1 Dave Miller fan.

thank you all for being my friends. You guys make my heart full and make me wanna keep working towards being a good person

[valyrfia]

no actually ur so right. as someone who have been in primarily mlm fandom spaces as an afab person the rampant feminization that goes on with charles especially is crazy. ive been pretty public on my dislike of this characterization if charles because of like exactly what you said (which is excluding my own experience being feminized and treated poorly because of my more masculine gender expression). it makes me pretty uncomfortable to see this in specifically fandom spaces and incredibly uncomfortable so see outside if those places.

just to add, im not against feminization (i actually enjoy it a lot when its like niche kink stuff) but the way it is in formula 1 rpf is unlike anything else ive seen in other fandoms.

I agree, it is CRAZY to see how this has somehow become the default characterisation. I agree with your not being against feminisation as an entire concept and when done well it's fun but rather just....why does it seem to be the default? It's bizarre. On a note that I'm sure is entirely unrelated, someone pointed out to me the other day that (although a small valiant group of us are trying to change it) F/M genderbend is far more common than F/F genderbend in F1 RPF....I'm just going to leave that stat there and you can make your own conclusions but considering I got this anon when I posted only F/F Lestappen stuff for a couple of days like two months ago....

Yeah, it's a little disheartening and is part of the reason why I think I'm so anti the feminisation of Charles as a default characterisation. Fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be, but it has always been a queer space but I've seen it time and time again that when a queer ship becomes popular, people are more desperate to consume it within a hetnorm structure. I haven't just seen it with F1 RPF, there's been a big rise of this over the past half a decade or so which I think is due to the consumption of mlm content becoming widely accepted amongst gen z, but in a way that almost straightwashes queer relationships. I remember when RWRB came out and I watched it when I was home for a bit in the summer with a group of girls I knew from high school as part of an effort to be social, and it was so bizarre. Not only did I witness first hand them obsessively rewinding to watch the kiss and the sex scenes, while exclaiming "that's so hot", but they were obsessed with trying to guess which of them would top and which of them would bottom, and for me most damningly, I made a throwaway comment about Uma Thurman in a suit being very hot (tame compared to what they were saying) and I was met with silence and weird sideways looks or a retort of "Alex in a suit is so hot!". It was a little bit of a humbling experience, to see them root for LGBT acceptance for the hot characters on the screen but be blatantly uncomfortable by actual queer expression in their presence.

I'll be honest I've experienced similar things when I talk about F1, and I think that that's because F1 as a fandom space has really exploded in growth in the past couple of years and thus the newer mlm ships within it, especially the popular ones like Carlando and Lestappen, have been subject to this straightwashing more strongly than other older fandom spaces.

As you said I have zero issue with it when it's a conscious choice on the behalf of the creator, but when it becomes the 'norm' within fanon and people complain when roles are reversed, well, it really rubs me the wrong way. I'm interested to hear your continued thoughts if you have them!

[bunnihearted]

☁️🐇💭

i dont know it all makes me feel so not human, like im missing out on a big human experience. everyone around me has a partner or have had one/multiple. even my old friend a, who i recently messaged a bit with.. even he has a bf. an all of my old friends have currently a partner, and my old classmates have partners and i dont know i just really wonder whats so wrong with my and why im not allowed to be a part of humanity. i know im extremely ugly and have an unappeaking body and on top of that an atrocious personality but like....... so do other ppl. a few of my old friends are bullies and theyre ugly as i am but they're still married and live with their boyfriends... what is so incredibly different with me, why dont i get go partake in humanity???? im like 35 fkn yrs old and never. never. i lack smth so major about being a humanbeing. recently i read a romance book abt two ppl in their 30s who were virgins and fell in love, but like even they had experienced kissing. which i havent. not even a peck. ive never been flirted with never been asked on a date never ever. and i also feel like im quickly getting older and it gets more and more embarrassing bc society ARE judgemental. am i gonna date someone for the first time when im 33yrs old and be like yeah sorry im 33 but ive never even kissed bro im terrible and useless with all of that. no fucking adult is gonna wanna "teach" or have patience with a 33yr old partner who dont know anything about any of that like be for real. i cant hide it either bc they will tell when i dont even know how to kiss. this is if i even ever get to be in a romantic/sexual situation lol.

and like no it isnt normal. most ppl, like the fucking majority, like at least 8/10 ppl have had SOME sexual experience, even if its just kissing. i have zero. like i dont even have experience in flirting. "its ok its normal" no it isnt, its fucking sad and pathetic and humiliating and sets me apart from the rest of humanity, the rest of the world. im 25 and it means im undesirable and unwanted. "u dont have to be in a relationship to be whole" but i WANT to. i used to just want friends, i was fine for somany years with being alone and just wishing to meet friends. but not anymore, it doesnt do anything for me anymore. if anything it only emphasizes my loneliness, bc my so called friends will spend a couple of hours hanging out with me, then they will go home to their partner, they person they have chosen and been chosen by, and i will go home to an empty apartment and be all alone. i dont really care for friendships anymore, i used to see it as a soothing balm to the wound, maybe not the proper treatment for it, but at least it could work as a bandaid. but now it just reminds me of how fucking unwanted i am. sure they might want to have some sort of semi closeness with me, but a mere friendship doesnt allow the closeness and intimacy i need and want. i will never be number 1, the first priority, the one and only, the one they'd do anything for, the one they wanna know better than everyone else, the one they want to spend alltheir time with, the one they're crazy about, to just a friend. it only reminds me that im never good enough or special or important enough to be chosen.

so i just dont care for friendships, they make me hollow and empty and make me feel lonely. because i wanna be so so close to someone. where we almost blend together. you dont do that with friends. u dont have sex and let eo see eachother completely naked - metaphorically - and vulnerable. u dont stay completely loyal and prioritize your friends. i want one person to pour everything into, share everything with. im tired and i dont care about spreading some shards, some splinters of me around widespread. and with how my brain works, how fucking disordered it is, i dont even have the energy to entertain and maintain several different friendships, none of them as deep and profound as i crave. i dont have that in me. i need one person to give it all to. i dont have the energy for more than that, it just doesnt work for me. i dont know. i used to think i wanted friends, and maybe i will get to a place again where i will be able to. maybe. idk anything. but really i cant see how i'd be able to have the energy to give a little bit of me to multiple people. that only makes me feel empty and lonely. i want smth with one person withno barriers between us. idc for anything else anymore i just dont. and thats why i feel so fucking lonely because im dying of thirst and everything that isnt what i want feels like nothing but drops of acid making me slowly fkn die lol

[youremyheaven]

Omg I saw your moon dominance post and I have to share something 😭

I have a friend whom I went to the same school as, we still talk sometimes but not as much.

She has always been quite a charismatic person, and is a relatively small built, conventionally attractive blonde white girl. Needless to say she is considered quite “soft and feminine” - I only mention race because racism would naturally prevent her being perceived that way.

I like her, she’s very diplomatic and intelligent but MY GOD the manipulative tendencies she had growing up😭😭😭

It’s been a couple years since I was regularly in close proximity to her so I can’t remember that many examples of her lying (also because it was a such a common occurance), however I remember it getting to the point where she herself would awkwardly joke about it.

What I *do* however remember quite distinctly the way she’d occasionally have these “tantrums” after I gave her any mild criticism.

For example, one time we were all having lunch together as a group and she made a mean spirited comment on someone else who was nearby. I pointed out that is was a pretty mean thing to say, not in a particularly accusatory tone, and she quite literally started shouting at me saying “WELL THATS QUITE BIG OF YOU TO SAY BC YOU TOLD ME [insert minor joke about manipulative Snapchat fboys that therefore was nothing to do with her] AND IT REALLY UPSET ME [insert sob story about having a disabled brother] etc etc”

She also had a similar public outrage at me after I asked her if she brought her present in for the Secret Santa, and she responded by kicking me in the shins and going on a tangent about how her life is really stressful and how I only worry about “school and sleep” 💀

However the interesting part that I vaguely covered at the beginning is that she had mastered the whole sweet innocent teenage facade. She had people, primarily older men in authority, entirely wrapped around her finger. She developed this oddly close relationship relationship with one of our teachers, which never got inappropriate, but he would direct like 80% of his energy to helping her over other students (who were equally if not more needing of help). Similarly her therapist literally UNRETIRED to help her personally 😭 I can think of so many examples of authority figures literally bending over backwards to be of service to her.

(She also attracted a kind of unreal level of male attention that was way above the average)

To finally conclude:

She is a hasta sun, moon and ketu with PBP ascendant. Her birthtime isn’t exact but I feel as though PBP is more likely than UBP.

There was also an incident of her sleeping with a teacher in his 20s when she was 17 😬 obviously it’s on him, but it’s interesting to consider that she has Jupiter in the 9H in Chitra (mars) - aswell as a mercury chitra which sits in her 4 planet 8H stellium.

Sorry for this extremely lengthy ask😭 it’s more of an info dump than an ask but I hope it served as an interesting example of moon dominance (+ a little bit of mars influence) in women

bestie never apologise for spilling tea 😂i love reading what ya'll have to say, otherwise i feel like im talking to a wall. and i feel you about this moon bestie of yours, im glad you're out of that toxic friendship!!

a few years ago i had a toxic moon dominant bestie who like you said lied so much and manipulated things so much, its hard for me to even make a list of the shit she did lol, yk how a lot of poc parents will whip their kids or yell at them or something and afterwards act extra nice bc they feel guilty?? I've noticed that Moon dominant people are like that to some extent. my "friend" would say the nastiest most vile derogatory things about me TO ME and then when i responded with radio silence she'd be all 🥺🥺im so worried about you, have you eaten? have you done all the assignments?? here's mine, you can refer to it🥺🥺,, like i was always sooo confused by her but then i started seeing thru her bullshit, how she's only being nice cause she feels guilty lol,, she had a tendency to criticize other people A LOT like your friend and honestly its tiring to listen to that shit, so i think i started saying nice things in return like "oh but xyz is so sweet, she's always so thoughtful" and then she'd say some shit "its so crazy you'd say that because i felt like xyz and abc always hated you" like classic manipulation lmao, like she hates those ppl and if i say one nice thing about them, then she'll try to convince me that those people hate me so that i can be on her side in bitching about them lmfao.

Moon dominant people are soooo insecure its sad,, they feel the need to be so rude and nasty af to others to mask their own insecurities. Obviously I'm only talking about unhealthy Moon influence, im sure there are nice ppl out there as well.

u guys pls feel free to dump any gossip/tea u have in my inbox, i love reading this stuff!!

[gayhoediaz]

not any of my business AT ALL but noticed you said buck was too young for you at 6 years older and then I got curious....what is your type? (obvs feel free to ignore)

it’s absolutely your business my daddy issues is my favorite topic. just. imagine me tucking my feet up under myself 🥰

no read more link i'm making this everyone's business <3

(we're doing this mainly based off of looks just to make it easy. i'm also someone who values physical attraction greatly, so it makes sense to me. personally. i'll talk a little bit about just general personality and vibes at the end, though!)

get in losers, we're objectifying men! (with respect, and the acknowledgment that just like women, they are all real people, and have a lot more to offer, even the characters, they're played by real people. and i'm sure they're all wonderful people until i'm proven otherwise.)

okay. so.

i’m a pretty introspective person and i’ve actually been thinking about this lately because my taste is. relatively. unpredictable.

i did indeed say that buck would be too young for me at roughly 6 years older and i stand by that because here’s the thing: i feel like when people think of daddy issues in terms of age, they think of. people being interested in people who are. a little bit older. my personal daddy issues run so deep, i need them older. (we’re specifically talking about men. i like women too - but that’s neither here nor there and i have a good relationship with my mom, so that’s not what we’re talking abt rn.) i’m into men that like. if i told you they were my dad, you would not fucking blink.

and it’s not just the age. being an objectively attractive man roughly 20 years my senior? that’s not necessarily enough. we’re going off of celebrities and fictional characters right now cause it’s just an easy way to explain things but there are plenty of men who are very objectively attractive and are twenty years older than me, but who just. don’t look it. and i absolutely see why people thirst after them but they’re just. not for me. like. okay.

manny montana? very pretty. i love looking at him. and he is much older than me. and yet, not my type.

same with like. andy samberg. so. very. pretty. and roughly a couple decades older than me. my type? nope.

now - tony dalton?

yeah. yeah.

^^^ and it’s not just “lalo’s hot” no no no no no my ass is in the discord server at 3am losing it over pictures like this:

(^^^ he's not btw. not to me.)

when i tell y’all i’m hopeless i am HOPELESS

anyway moving onto someone else i’m feral about: billy burke but ONLY when he’s scruffy okay?

this? i mean i wouldn’t… not let hit, but

when i say im feral abt billy burke i’m talking about charlie swan and i’m talking abt this:

honorable mention i am also feral as fuck abt robert knepper

and now, i can hear you saying "oh nie, i get it, so you're not attracted to men who have like chronic boy face, i get it!!! you're into like. the jeffrey dean morgan, joe manganiello types!"

nope. i am not the slightest bit attracted to either of those men. like. *vanessa hudgens voice* i get it. i respect it.

not for me tho.

NOW. there is a little bit of a gray area when we talk about men who like... have chronic boy face and everything else about them is just... not that energy.

like. raul castillo for example.

(he looks a lot like a young version of my maternal grandpa, but that's just. something we're not gonna touch rn.) first of all? my immediate reaction is not "let me hit" my first reaction is very similar to manny montana in the sense that like. so. pretty.

but also? tummyyyyyyy so nvm let me hit yk what i mean?

(for some reason jon bernthal also goes in this category. they don't look anything alike but. same vibes to me in terms of how attracted i am, personally. where it's like. sure. yknow?)

i am also forever a mustache warrior, okay, shave off a mustache? doesn't usually necessarily ruin it for me, but grow one? it's better. immediately. actually, while oliver, just like buck, is too young to be my type, the only picture in existence where i am even the slightest bit attracted to oliver is the one from that photoshoot where the lighting accidentally made it look like he had one:

that's it. that's the only one.

(while we're on the topic of 9-1-1 cast: ryan also is too young for me, but i am very attracted to him when he has long hair. the second it's gone, he's just a silly little guy to me. i'm not really attracted to peter, although i wouldn't... say no. i'm here for kenny, though. absolutely. anytime.)

now so i feel less bad about objectifying every single man mentioned in this post, let's talk personalities (not specifically the ones mentioned, because i don't know them. this is just abt me and just general vibes that i'm drawn to) i need the vibe to be like. relaxed, which i think loops right back around to daddy issues, of course - it's not that i would be turned off if i'm with a man and he needs to cry on my shoulder 'cause something happened, that's fine - but generally there needs to be a feeling of just. not a lot of stress, not a lot of anxiety, things are handled, things will work out - you know. and usually, you tend to get that from people who are. a lot older. even people in their 30s don't usually have their shit together like that. (which is fine!!) but it's just so. just. easy to breathe when someone's like "eh, i'll fix it" (and yes, my love language is indeed acts of service)

as i put it in another post at some point: [billy burke in twilight] awakened the innermost parts of me that yearn to be railed by scruffy, mustached men old enough to be my father who look like they smell like a campfire and taste like tobacco and like i would tell them i wanted dick and they would nod once and say "yes ma'am"

the end <3