#but we’ll just keep hurting eachother if I don’t let it go…

[callunascars]

.

[khazadspoon]

ohoho!

12. a hoarse whisper “kiss me” for Manco/Mortimer. Bonus prompt: hurt/comfort

Sorry it took a little while - hopefully this is acceptable!

———

“Damn it, boy…”

He dragged the unconscious body from the back of his horse, hefted it over his shoulder and kicked the door of the abandoned shack open.

“Three weeks on your own again and this happens,” he grumbled half heartedly as he lay his burden down. “One of these days I’ll learn to let go.”

It was Manco, because of course it was. He had left the kid to his reward with the intention of never seeing him again. It was supposed to be simple, and yet he had found himself turning around one day and looking for his ex-partner. The silly notion that maybe they could stick together had formed in his mind and wouldn’t un-form. Mortimer was helpless to let it play out.

After far less searching than he had anticipated, Mortimer had found the boy only just holding his own in a bar fight. When some lumbering fool had smacked him on the head, Mortimer had stepped in. The fight ended and he claimed his ‘prize’, riding off to keep them both clear of trouble while he made sure Manco wasn’t going to shuffle off this mortal coil before they could talk.

“Mmf…”

He looked up at the sound. Manco shifted on the pallet that served as a cot, face twisting as he regained consciousness. His eyes flickered open, a hand reaching up to touch the back of his head, and Mortimer quickly moved to stop him.

“Stay still, my boy,” he murmured, “you were hit pretty hard. I’m sure you deserved it but we’ll talk about that later.”

Hazy, unfocused eyes gazed up at him for a long moment. Manco blinked slowly. “You’re… here?”

Mortimer couldn’t help smiling. He sat down, reached out, and stroked the kid’s hair back from his face. “Good thing, too. If I hadn’t come looking for you, who knows what would have happened.”

“Kiss me,” Manco uttered hoarsely. “Kiss me, then I know I ain’t dreaming.”

The request was strained, desperate, only made worse by the pain on Manco’s face. Mortimer knew it was probably a terrible idea to fulfil that request, but who was he to deny this boy? He defied anyone who could.

He leaned down, one hand cupping Manco’s jaw gently and pressed their lips together. A terrible, beautiful, wavering sigh drifted from Manco’s throat to Mortimer’s ears, settled in his chest like feathers on the wind. He moved their mouths together softly and felt clumsy hands hold on to his shoulders. They tugged him, demanded he come closer.

“Easy, boy,” he said under his breath against Manco’s lips. “There’ll be time for that later. You need rest.”

“M’not tired,” came the sullen reply.

Mortimer brushed his fingers through wind-coarse hair. “Don’t argue with me. I’m older and wiser than you’ll ever be if you don’t start being more careful.”

They smiled at eachother, twin expressions of soft, slow relief taking over their faces.

“Alright, old man… if you insist.”

He nodded, tugged off his cost and lay it over Manco’s lanky body. “I do.”

He watched over the boy as he rested, watched the lines on his young face soften. Manco would be aching and bruised when he woke, but he’d be alive and that was what counted.

[anhedoniamayhavelived]

“You let Curly Shepherd pierce your ear?” Two-Bit wheezed, slapping his knee as he practically rolled onto the floor, his laughter filling the Curtis living room. “Darry’s gonna kill you when he sees it!”

Ponyboy scowled, clutching his throbbing ear. “Oh, for the love of God, will you just help me,” he muttered, cheeks burning with embarrassment. He tugged his collar up to hide the red, swollen mess from view.

Steve bent in front of him, shaking his head, his grin smug. “Don’t think you get it, man,” he said, still staring at the ear like it was a ticking time bomb. “He’s really gonna kill you this time.”

Two-Bit wheezed harder, wiping his eyes. “A bad needle? Curly? You couldn’t have at least asked someone halfway decent?”

Ponyboy winced as Steve pulled against his ear to look at it. “I wasn’t thinking, okay? I just—” He broke off, looking down, unable to meet their eyes. “I just wanted to do something… different.”

Two-Bit and Steve looked between eachother with a look that Ponyboy found people giving him too much.

“Yeah, well, next time, don’t pick the guy who sharpens knives on a curb.” Steve replied his voice not unkind as he grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a rag, shaking his head as he dampened it.

Ponyboy braced himself as Steve pressed the rag to his ear, hissing at the sharp sting. He felt the burn shoot through his head like fire, his whole jaw tightening up. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Oh, he’s feelin’ that now,” Two-Bit chimed in, grinning as he leaned against the wall. “Guess the ‘I’ll feel different’ plan didn’t include feeling like your head’s gonna explode, huh?”

Ponyboy let out a tight laugh, still wincing as Steve dabbed at the infection. “Yeah, no kidding.” His heartbeat pounded in his ear, and it felt like every nerve was lighting up at once, the ache spreading down his neck.

Two-Bit voice was more sympathetic this time, though still teasing. “Gotta admit, it’s impressive. I’ve seen some bad piercings, but this might be the worst.” He paused for a second, watching as Steve wiped more gently. “Seriously though, Pony, this is infected bad—should’ve told someone.”

“Didn’t wanna hear all this,” Ponyboy grumbled, biting his lip as the alcohol stung like fire. The pain had dulled a little, but it still radiated through his skull, pulsing with every heartbeat.

Two-Bit crouched next to him, smirking. “Well, you were gonna hear it anyway. Lucky for you, we’re the best doctors this side of Tulsa.” He reached out, gently flicking the other side of Pony’s head. “Or, y’know, something like that.”

Ponyboy shot him a glare, though it was half-hearted. “Yeah, real lucky.”

“Hey, at least we’re getting you fixed up before Soda gets home,” Steve said, the corners of his mouth tugging up as he cleaned the last bit of the mess. “He’d probably die laughing before he even helped you.”

Ponyboy flinched again, though this time it wasn’t just from the pain. “Let’s just keep this between us.”

Two-Bit grinned wide. “We’ll see.”

As the last of the sharp stinging eased, Ponyboy relaxed a little, though his ear was still throbbing, each pulse reminding him of how stupid this whole thing had been. The pain wasn’t going away anytime soon, but at least they’d helped enough to keep it from getting worse.

Two-Bit nudged him lightly, his voice softer now. “It’ll stop hurting soon, kid. Just don’t go poking any more holes in yourself, alright?”

He wasn’t just talking about the piercing.

Pony sighed, offering a weak smile. “Yeah, I got it.”

Steve packed up the alcohol and the rag, standing up. “Good. Because if Darry sees this and finds out what you did? You’ll be feeling a whole lot more than that ear.”

“Yeah whatever,” Ponyboy let out a short laugh despite the pain, leaning back against the couch. “…Thank you.”

They both waved him off, sitting down on the floor to pull out a hand of poker.

“Seriously though? Curly Shepard was the best—“

[badnew2005]

mac + the record by boygenius becos i love doing big posts like this :D

without you without them. found family of All Time. charmacden and the gang as a whole. the thousand billion different forms the gang has taken. it’s always them. mac growing up so neglected and lonely, desperately craving any mimicry of family and love he could find. and here comes this messy smelly kid who’s actually a couple months older than him but looks years younger. cat <3 mac 4eva . spending christmas throwing rocks at trains. it’s us against the world as long as we’ve got eachother we’ll be fine. and then come these rich bratty twins who act like they’re so much better than you but you know you and charlie are the closest thing they’ve ever seen to god. i want to hear your story and be apart of it. the gang unpicking their pasts unpicking what makes them Them. learning what you don’t Have to talk about, how to make life bearable. “a love letter to the mortifying ordeal of being known, written in a pandemic world that violently reminded us how much we need each other”…… that’s them baby!!!

20$. i’m stuck how longs the chevy been on cinderblocks as macden mac gaining/taking back independence and mac driving vs dennis’ sense of control being seen within the range rover. but just. oh this is So mac. it’s a bad idea and i’m all about it. long live project badass. whatever the idiots he loves suggests he’s there !!! i want to know more macden road trips. driving charlie around philly. driving to visit den in college. i cant summarise it well yet further than. ITS SO MAC !!!!! song about the “wanting to poke the bear impulse” hello mac. nice to see you here. having so much passion being ride or die for whatever ur friends want picking a side and dying on it no questioning. the subtle breakdown of that devotion. bickering. i Know you have twenty dollars. macden living together for Twenty Years. ran out of gas out of time out of money. the loves still there but they’re twenty years older and it can’t sustain itself running on nothing for this long. wanting a bit more. wanting to run back in time

emily i’m sorry. the cars !!!! can be both mac pov ab den or den pov ab mac. waking up inside a dream full of screeching tires and fire. the storm. the apartment burning down. all the wars mac and dennis are each fighting inside their heads that are keeping them from eachother. (again macden road trips i know you exist i want to hear more about you) suburbs maybe. and i feel myself becoming someone only you could want. that’s them. macden and the gang. someone only you could love. i’m sorry i just make it up as i go along. again both mac pov ab den and den pov ab mac. it’s their first time being this person coming out and everything that comes with being Them. sure they’re forty they should know better but. it’s their first time. i’m not ready! we could run away be other people. macden most comfortable acting as other people hiding behind fake identities. i’m sorry.

true blue. similarly could be both mac pov ab den or den pov ab mac but i’m sticking with mac pov. knowing dennis so well behind his lies and walls. loving him so passionately despite everything. the first two verses are just So let me tell you about dennis. den running away to college to north dakota fucking around to find out who he is calling mac confessing everything and nothing. and i wasn’t surprised! AND IT FEELS GOOD TO BE KNOWN SO WELL !!!!! I CANT HIDE FROM YOU LIKE I HIDE FROM MYSELF. they know eachother. too much. it feels Good from macs perspective. terrifying from dens. they’re on opposite ends of journey of coming out. even before mac started weathering the storm, dennis Knew him. ofc macden moving in together. straight after college or dennis slinking home from north dakota back to mac. it’s scary. he can’t live without him. YOU ALREADY HURT MY FEELINGS THREE TIMES IN THE WAY ONLY YOU COULD. again loving dennis so passionately, despite everything. i remember who i am when i’m with you !!!! your love is TOUGH your love is TRIED AND TRUE BLUE !!!!! it hurts ! and it’s ugly ! but i love you !! i do !!! i cant stop. i don’t want to stop. dependable and alarming and loyal never ending. YOUVE NEVER DONE ME WRONG EXPECT FOR THAT ONE TIME THAT WE DONT TALK ABOUT BECAUSE IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE WHO WON THE FIGHT I DONT KNOW WERE NOT KEEPING SCORE !!!!!!!!!!!! there’s nothing to say. it’s him.

cool about it. the dive bar. paddys <3. i’m trying to be cool about it !!!!! i love you !!!!! feeling like an absolute fool about it !!!! i love you too much !!!!!!! wishing you were kind enough to be cruel about it. times up. it’s never gonna happen. it is. talking himself into i can live without dennis without this love. i cant. wanting dennis to apologise. to be Real for once. to not run away. to shout and scream at him and everything he’s ever done. loving him Despite it. to validate macs feelings and experiences. absolution and all it’s religious connotations. religion woven into this love you can’t escape it. dennis as the golden god. dennis as a thousand sins, the ultimate temptation. wanting so badly to just forget about him to be able to walk away like dennis seemed to be able to do so. once i took your medication to know what it’s like and now i have to act like i cant read your mind i ask you how you’re doing and i let you lie but we don’t have to talk about it i can walk you home and practice method acting ILL PRETEND BEING WITH YOU DOESNT FEEL LIKE DROWNING tellin you it’s nice to see how good you’re doing even though we know it isn’t true. again. nothing else to say. that’s them. all tied up.

not strong enough !!!!!!!!!!! i know i have done a thousand not strong enough posts but surprise surprise the search function isn’t working. another jumping around perspective jumping around timeline. IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MAN. mac and the storm. mac getting so so so strong while dennis was in north dakota getting so so so strong to come out physically and emotionally. to find his pride. black hole opened in the kitchen their midnight teas inflate peeking into the kitchen. theyre drowning stuck in that apartment. but it’s also a lifeboat! the double i’m not strong enough to be your man i lied i am / i lied i am just lowering your expectations. i Am strong enough to come out, but you’re not. don’t expect much from me i don’t know if i can deliver it. I DONT KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM !!!!! i don’t know why i’m like this. i cant stop it. the bossiness the obsession. ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD !!!!!!!! the storm !!!! the storm !!!!!!!! no matter how hard he tires that war is never ever ending!!! gods never gonna come say ur alright mac it’s okay.

revolution 0. macs crippling lonely upbringing. whatever the fuck macdennis is. it’s not real. none of it is. whatever he thinks the love between him and dennis is. if it isn’t love then what the fuck is it. just let me pretend !!!!!! angry and violent child screaming for love and attention never quite learning how to stop, because love never found him! the storm. dennis vs god. maybe they’re the same. he would like that. being stuck forever the only people who have stayed Hate you and they won’t shut up about it. if you’re raised with an angry man in your house …. go and invite him in etc. i wish he was angrier. mom too. i wish they cared enough to shout at me. give me Something other than indifference. even if the gang hate me at least they tell me they’ll scream and shout and laugh and punch me. at least they see me.

leonard cohen. macden driving forever !!!!!! listening to dennis’ stupid music forever. trying to read into it to see part of him between the chorus and the verse. if you love me you will listen to this song. of course i love you dennis. i’ve been listening to rick astley since i met you. i promise i will never give you up. or let you down. or run around and desert you. even if you do it to me a thousand times (you will). you said i might like you less now that you know me so well. I MIGHT LIKE YOU LESS NOW THAT YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. cause i know you man. right after mac came out. I Know You. that’s terrifying. so he ran (around and deserted mac)! i think that’s true. telling stories we wouldn’t tell anyone else. the comfort of driving. den’s flimsy sense of control. not having to look eachother in the eye. music playing on the radio you can pretend you didn’t hear. “there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” sunny is a love story. and i am (not) an old man having an existential crisis at a buddhist monastery writing horny poetry. turning their apartment into a church. macs room a place of worship. i never thought love would happen to me i never thought You would happen to me

satanist. a satanist an anarchist a nihilist with me. let’s run away and hide and be someone else. they can’t catch us. i’ll go against god i’ll be a Satanist as long as You’re with me as long as i have you. please can we run away. do you want to be in my life a long time? i want you there. macden and hiding behind these fake personas. everyone else has talked ab this phenomenon a thousand times better than i am today. at least until you find out what a fake i am. i’m sorry i don’t think i can actually leave god behind. he’s the only person who loves me. we both know you can’t let yourself love me. honey and vinegar. you wonder if you can ever be seen from so far away a slow pull a seismic drift leaning over the edge of the continent. it’s so hard to come back!! you hang on until it drags you under.

we’re in love. they’re in love !!!!!! you could Absolutely break my heart. that’s how i know. loving dennis Despite everything. and i told you of your past lives, every man you’ve ever been, it wasn’t flattering boy you listened like it mattered. he’s trying at least. again a thousand times mac and dennis Having to hide behind aliases and masks. if you rewrite your life may i still play a part. dennis trying to run away to Be someone else but always having to come crawling home to mac. in the next one will you find me i’ll be the boy with the pink carnations pinned to my lapel who looks like hell and asks for help. that’s them. that’s always been them. there’s something about you that i will always recognise. we’re in love. it’s stupid and ugly and wrong in all the right ways and right in all the wrong ways. it’s us and it’s love!

anti curse. OUGHHHHH. i have already done a line by line mac analysis of this song ITS SO. it’s the storm! he’s drowning !!!! everybody else knew mac was gay but he’s Still drowning. making peace with my inevitable death drowning on the boat, mac coming out and abandoning god - the gang begging him to ask god for help, and when the heavens open and god answers they all climb and kick and push mac down to the bottom. and he drags them back down. he was ready to die with the gang. to go to hell. the gates opened god listened to him God Heard Him Say He’s Gay. being ready to die to be swallowed by this storm. i guess i did. alright considering !! macs relationship w his parents. with the gang. tried to be a halfway decent friend wound up a bad comedian. they all hate me. he’s spent his whole life begging for his parents to love him this moved onto the gang. but they all hate him. he’s a joke. was anyone ever so young? all they are is children begging for love and attention. unpacking god in the suburbs. meeting dennis. never being able to go back. i’m swimming back !!!! learning to weather the storm !!!!! dad. i’m gay. he’s not drowning!!! controlling the war holding your own little peace summit at the eye of the storm. you don’t have to make it bad just cause you know how. dennis begging and screaming for him to just go back in the closet. no! writing the words to the worst love song you’ve ever heard. loving them all despite everything. sunny is a love story. love in its foreign characters an incantation like an anticurse (or even a blessing!!!!) mac being the only member of the gang Not cursed in the gang gets cursed. he’s finally on a string of luck ! but fucks it up anyways

letter to an old poet. OH MY GOD. oh my god. i cant stop i just cant. you all know my s16 theme was macs anger!!! wanting to confront dennis but not wanting him to run again. it’s all bubbling. it’s coming. i said i think that you’re special you told me once that i’m selfish AND I KISSED YOU HARD IN THE DARK AND IN THE CLOSET you said my music is mellow maybe i’m just exhausted YOU THINK THAT YOURE A GOOD PERSON JUST CAUSE YOU WONT PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH . AND I LOVE YOU !!! I DONT KNOW WHY I JUST DO. but !!! you’re not special you’re Evil ! you don’t get to tell me to calm down. you made me feel like an equal BUT IM BETTER THAN YOU ! and you should know that by now. when you fell down the stairs it looked like it hurt and i wasn’t sorry !!! i should have left you right there. with your hostages my heart and my cat keys. YOU DONT KNOW ME !!!!!!!!!! i wanna be happy I’m Ready To Walk Into My Room Without LOOKING FOR YOU i’ll go up to the top of our building and remember my dog when i see the full moon. I CANT FEEL IT YET. BUT I AM WAITING. there’s nothing else to say. explaining it would just be patronising. he’s there!!!! he’s weathered the storm and he’s had enough of dennis fucking around. had enough of everything ever being about dennis. i’ve actually been through shit i deserve it dennis. i should beat you up. leave you out to try. i shouldn’t have let you back in. but i did! because of course i did! you stole my parachute blindfolded me span me around and pushed me out of a moving aircraft. but i survived. built my own campsite all alone. you made me cry you said goodbye you told countless lies and hurt me. that’s all you ever do. i don’t think you deserve to live blameless anymore. i want to hold you accountable. but you’ll just run away again won’t you. make everyone hate me for no reason other than you’re scared how much i know you. come on. you fucking coward. celebrity booze mac is calm and collected confident ab his outfit while dennis is almost falling apart. the argument on the plane. everyone else is scared. mac was taking notes. he’s not stupid he knows dennis was johnny. but he can’t Say it he Can’t scream and shout and beat dennis.

[andypasta]

rant/vent post (need to get it outta my system before I do something im gonna regret)

Does anyone even actually like me for who I am? Or do they only like the good parts. People get upset and sad over pieces of me that I can’t currently do anything about. I’m sorry I scratch myself until I bleed with my nails and my chipped shark tooth necklace, I’m sorry I can’t stop doing stupid shit, I’m sorry I’m self-depreciating, I’m sorry I’m non-chalant, I’m sorry I’m un-empathetic most times and have no idea how to deal with emotion. I’m sorry I have to exist like this. If it’s an inconvenience to you imagine how it is to be me. To have to sit throught talking with so many people, naturally ambiverted and friendly, and yet knowing that once people get to know me, they’ll leave at some point. They’ll all leave, or they’ll end up with other friends. And I’ll forget to contact first. And we’ll forget about eachother, but I’ll never really forget you, but I’ll feel too awkward to reach out again. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect friend, child, partner. I try, I really do. I just can’t, and I feel more and more tired of trying every day. My grades are falling because I can’t stop putting more and more stress on myself. And I’m sorry I can’t shut up during movies and shows when I wanna tell you cool things, and I’m sorry I can’t stop talking to you about my favorite things. I’m sorry I’m so goddamn annoying, and I’m sorry that I have to exist in your presence. You’re not the first to not want me around. But if I told you the first it’d be so nonchalant, and you’d be worried about me, but for your own reasons. You don’t want to feel guilty if I do anything to myself. It’s not your fucking fault. It wasn’t until you did that. Until you told me not to hurt myself because you would feel bad and I would go to hell. Until you told me that you hated me but only talked to me because I was the only one you knew in that class. Until you told me that you wish you never had me, whether a joke or not. Until you told me I couldn’t be in your group because I was annoying. Until you told me to shut up mid conversation. Until you told me one of my favorite foods looked like vomit and it was disgusting. Thanks for that, by the way. I changed my favorite food because of that. Oh, and let’s not forget the time you promised me you would make me said favorite food on my birdbath, planned out for months, and then decided you didn’t feel like cooking and took me out to a restaurant instead. Sure they had the thing on the menu, but it’s not the same. It’s not the same. It’s not, and it never will be. But you don’t care. My feelings don’t matter because you can play it off as me being an angsty teen and having an attitude. And not that you’re fucking up bad. But I can’t tell you. How would I. You apparently never do any wrong, I’m always the fuck up here. And I have 3 years of this left. Idk if I’m gonna make it. I want to, but the chances look slimmer every time I think about it. Still, I have to keep a straight face and a happy smile. For everyone. Because I don’t want them to feel guilty. And then I see people treating eachother nicely, and I wish we have that. I wish you would tuck me in and genuinely tell me you love me, I wish you would tell me I was doing good as a friend like your sister does in theater. I wish I didn’t have to pretend to be absolutely 100% fine with people jokingly insulting me. It’s fine sometimes, but the constant kys is getting annoying. And then I express that maybe I might, and you suddenly change it up and be like “oh no don’t do that” because your previous friend did, and you want me around because “who else would I draw with”. That’s it. Nothing else. No “because you’re special to me and we’re formed sand I’ll miss you” no. Just “who else would I draw things I make you draw with?” And I get it, it’s my choice and all, but I don’t want him to not like me. Because I’m friends with his twin sister, and I don’t want to ruin the relationship with her or the friendliness with their parents. And I’m so scared, of fucking everything. I don’t even know what I wanna do anymore. Or if I’ll make it there.

[bts-apocalypse-au]

Jin's P.O.V 🐻 10th April

It's 9:00. My students file in one by one, each greeting me with big smiles and a "Good morning Mr. Kim!"

I smile at each of them, they really are my family. It's my mission as a teacher to prepare them to succeed in life and I take my mission to my very heart.

Our day goes like this:

Students arrive and put belongings away 10 minutes

Morning meeting where we talk about pretty much anything the children want to and sing educational songs. 15 minutes

Mathematics (addition, subtraction) 20 minutes

Writing where students learn grammar, write, and share stories. 20 minutes

We go on a very short nature walk to the park across the street where we eat lunch and I let the children run around, if it's raining we stay inside and play board, card or clapping games. 45 minutes

Arts and Crafts 30 minutes

Story and Snack time, I read to the children while they eat snack 15 minutes

Transition, if it's nice we can go to the school's play-yard and play, if not, I let the children play inside. When everybody that comes from other places for my after school class arrives we go back inside and begin English and maths lessons.

*** time skip ***

"Alright everyone, thank you for sharing your stories. They were all very good. Now you all know what time it is."

"Time to eat lunch!" My students answer, running to their cubbies.

As I wait for them to return with their lunches my phone buzzes in my pocket, I wouldn't normally check it but it's a breaking news notification.

"Outbreak of a strange disease at the City Zoo, animals gone rabid, vets and scientists stumped!"

I put my phone away sighing, the news is always exaggerating things besides I don't have any zoo trips planned so we'll be fine. The students have all gathered their lunches and we head outside as usual. The sun is bright and the sky is clear, a perfect day.

"What's that tree called?" Soobin asks me, he's tall for his age and barely reaches up to touch a low hanging branch on the tree beside us.

"It's a pine." I tell him, he nods, picking a fallen pine needle off the ground.

"Can I have one too?" Huening Kai asks, he's the youngest in the class but he's still almost as tall as Soobin.

"Sure Ning Ning, just take one off the ground so you don't hurt the tree."

"Okay" he says and bends down to look around for a good pine needle. Dissatisfied, he stands up again.

"Here," Soobin says, "You can have mine, I'll find another one."

"Thank you Binnie hyung!" He says taking the pine needle and carefully tucking it into the pocket of his overalls.

When we get to the park everyone helps spread out the blanket and we sit down under a big shady tree. After they eat their lunch the children go to play. I sigh to myself, I love teaching but I wish I had my own children too. The loud siren of an ambulance jars me from my daydreams. The children are still playing happily. Some game that involves rolling in the grass.

"Careful Beomgyu!" I shout to the boy who's about to be knocked off his feet by a rolling Yeonjun. He turns just in time to jump over the other boy.

Taehyun laughs. "That looks fun!" He waits at the bottom of the hill and just as Yeonjun gets too close, he jumps. Thankfully he makes it, feet landing firmly on the grass behind Yeonjun . . . this time. I picture the numerous ways that could go wrong. Falling, falling on eachother, that was still too close for my liking.

"Boys! Find another game!" I shout so they can hear me.

"Aww, but we won't get hurt." Taehyun says, helping up a dizzy Yeonjun

"No, you can keep rolling down the hill but if I see any of you doing it again you'll be sitting on the blanket with me."

"But-"

"Kang Taehyun."

He recognizes the threat in my voice and stops rolling down the hill. "Okay."

I hear a rustling above me, I look up to see two squirrels. They're wrestling. I've seen squirrels chase each other, but never this. They bite and claw, making horrible noises I didn't think squirrels could make. I watch until one of the squirrels falls dead at my feet, a bloody gash marking its torso. A shiver runs through me. I turn, terrified for some reason that there will be more dead squirrels in place of my class. Instead the boys and girls from my class laugh with each other, picking some weeds that they found. For some reason I have a feeling that something terrible is going to happen and I want them to be as far from it as possible. It's almost time to go back anyway, the children won't notice a difference of a few minutes.

"Children! Come on, it's time to go, get your lunches." I call. They obey, but I spot Lisa trying to shove the weeds she collected into her lunch box, her mother won't be happy about that.

"Remember everyone! Nature stays in nature."

I see out of the corner of my eye Lisa putting down the weeds in defeat.

When we get back inside everything begins again as normal. I don't know why I was so worried before. Before I know it it's time for the after school, and for students who aren't already here to start arriving.

I send the children out to the fenced in play-yard while I clean up the classroom.

*** Time skip ***

Again everything goes as normal. My after school class was a huge success. We made great progress on maths and read a few books like Green Eggs and Ham by: Dr. Seuss in English together. Now it's time for the parents to start arriving, good thing too, because as much as I love my job I'm tired, and that worrying feeling is starting to come back again. Here at school I've been cut off from the news by my no phone rule. Maybe the parents will know something. No, if something big was happening they would've come and gotten their children already. I shouldn't, and won't bother them with this.

"Children, get you school bags . It's time to go home." I say in English, they stay in their seats a few seconds processing but then spring up and run to their cubbies. They still appear at full energy, but it's just the prospect of a warm bed after a long day that excites them. I can tell they're worn. After school is a good way to prepare them for a rigorous academic system but it's still a lot and they're still 7.

When they've got their school bags they come back to the rug, I'm in teacher Jin mode again.

"Alright, you can read, draw or play games until your parents get you."

"Yay! So excited to see appa and eomma!" Huening Kai cheers tiredly

"Yes, you'll see them very soon."

***

15 minutes into dismissal time no parents have arrived. Maybe they're just late, but how could all of the parents be late? Is something blocking the pickup lane? I look out the window, it's empty. The entire street is empty, there are parked cars, yes, but not a single person.

Ah, there must be a huge traffic jam, that must be it. I pull up the news app on my phone. The traffic update is live.

"Breaking news! Due to a rampage of rabid animals escaping the City Zoo all streets south of The Zoo have been closed. We recommend that you stay inside to avoid an encounter with these vicious beasts. They are believed to have a new strain of rabies and a bite would be deadly. They aren't responding to the Zoo keepers at all. Please for your safety stay inside until the matter is resolved. Well let you all know when it is safe again."

I can only stare out the window for a moment. I turn back to my children, their parents will come for them when it is safe but for now, I must keep them safe. I check the time: 7:00 they need dinner.

"Okay everyone, your parents are going to be a bit late today. They said that I can make you dinner."

"Ooh dinner. I'm sooo hungry!" Jisoo cheers

"But when is eomma coming?" Yeonjun asks

"Soon," I say looking into his sad little face, "soon I promise."

"Look, Mr. Kim, I drew a picture of you!" Huening Kai says waving a sheet of copy paper over his head. He holds it more steady and I can see that it's a bear with a pointer that looks like the one on my desk pointing to a chalkboard. It's labelled "The best teacher Mr. Kim" in sloppy crayon. I feel a tear forming in my eye and turn toward the cupboard so he can't see the tears.

"Do you like it." He asks hopefully

"I love it." I say sincerely.

"Now push your desks together, it's time for dinner! Yeonjun get the art mat and put it over the tables when they're together

The children get to work and so do I.

Our dinner is far from gourmet but it's something. Instant ramyeon, with juice boxes and fruit.

As I'm about to click on a traffic update another breaking news announcement takes over my screen.

Aish, I try to find the "x" button to exit but there isn't one.

The newscaster begins talking, it's strange. He looks dishevelled unlike the usual neat appearance of news broadcasters. "This is an emergency news broadcast, please stop what you're doing and pay attention."

I turn back to my children, they aren't paying attention. I fish my ear buds out of my pocket and turn them on.

The newscaster continues. "There has been a sudden surge of animal attacks and it appears that all the city's wild animals have suddenly gone rabid. We suspect that more than 100 casualties have already been sustained. Several power grids and other things like gas and water lines and water filtration systems have gone down as well. Oh and . . ." He turns as a crew member whispers something to him, implying he doesn't have a script. "This is just in, officials are recommending you either get ready to stay put in your homes and or offices for a while or you leave Seoul immediately!"

Suddenly the newscast ends, 3 seconds later the lights cut off plunging us into darkness.

The children start to scream.

"It's alright, we're alright." I try to think of a reason to tell them why the lights are out. "It's because . . . we're going to eat under the stars tonight."

"Ooh."

"Yay"

The news said it isn't safe to go outside so I pull out the bg battery powered constellation projector and turn it on, fishing out the glow-sticks I'd been saving in the closet.

I crack the glow sticks and hand them to the children while I set up the projector. We eat our under the stars as I tell them about the constellations.

"Mr. Kim, where's Eomma? I want Eomma!" Taehyun sobs, soon others join him. The room is filled with cries for parents and grandparents and brothers and sisters.

I can't bear to lie to them when they're looking at me like this. "I don't know . . ."

"But" Soobin says, I can tell he's trying to stay calm for his younger classmates, "Mr. Kim, you're our teacher. How can you not now?"

My heart breaks, I'm the adult here, they look up to me. I have failed them by not knowing anything or being able to tell them anything useful. I must not fail them anymore.

"Something . . . big is happening outside right now, I think." I speak slowly, choosing my words very carefully so as not to frighten the young children. Several of them run to the windows, "Your parents are just as confused as I am. But yes Soobin, I am your teacher and it is my job to keep you safe. For now this classroom is safe so we'll stay here until we know more and your parents come for you."

After that there isn't much left to do so I push the two small reading couches together and gather as many futons as I can, some of them will have to share but they're small so it's alright.

I manage to find some tooth brushes in an emergency kit and I pass them around. Once everyone is done we settle down. Even after 10 minutes I don't hear anybody settling into sleep.

"Mr. Kim" says a quiet voice. Huening Kai.

"Yes, Ning Ning?"

"Mr. Kim, I'm scared, I always have a light at home."

"Oh hmm well that might disturb the other children . . "

"It's okay, I can't sleep either." says Beomgyu

"Well in that case. We can all sleep under the stars." I say turning on the projector again.

"Can you read to us, Mr. Kim?" asks Lisa

"Of course." I open the first book I can find and begin to read, "You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own and you know what you know. You are the person who'll decide where to go . . ."

One by one breaths settle out into the evenness of sleep and soon I'm the only one awake. Then I'm asleep too.

[asking-jude]

Eyy just stumbled across this blog

Im kind of really having a hard time right now and it’s doing a number on me since it’s pretty much entirely my own fault that situation happened

Im in a relationship and love and care for my boyfriend dearly, yet I’m also in love with my best friend. And I know I’ll be judged harshly for that, rightfully so… but I really just need advice on what to do.

We were friends for years and there were no romantic undertones. But we’ve been sent on a four month work trip abroad together a few months ago. I didn’t see my bf that whole time, I didn’t know anyone but my best friend where we were and we pretty much saw eachother every single day. In the end we came too close and eventually both admitted we had developed feelings.

Though the story doesn’t end there unfortunately. He wants to be a priest and ultimately decided even if I left my partner there couldn’t be more between us. I was kind of relieved he made that decision for me because I genuinely love both and having to choose one over the other would’ve been extremely hurtful.

Even though we decided it shouldn’t lead anywhere we ultimately became intimate and that’s where the problems really started. Obviously we both felt extremely guilty about it, it was a back and forth for a while, changing initiator basically on a daily basis breaking our word over and over again.

Now recently we had a big fight over the whole situation. I told him I didn’t want the back and forth anymore but he insisted he wanted to stay friends, just without the intimacy. He said that multiple times before though and then still initiated it again, though sometimes it was me too. I lashed out and told him right, either we commit to being shit people and continue being intimate (he’ll be gone in a year anyways to start his novitiate) or we just don’t meet anymore at all, since it’s been proven time and time again if we do see each other we can’t let it be (though that’s not really an option since we work together, on the same project even so really not seeing each other would require me to quit my job)…

It basically continued to escalate like that, him accusing me of making him choose between me and god and me accusing him of using me when he’s horny but seeing me only as an evil temptation instead of a friend, being a hypocrite and twisting his morals and beliefs to his needs. In the end he said he doesn’t want that discussion anymore and if I don’t want to be friends anymore so be it, I said that’s not what I wanted but what are we supposed to do if we can’t keep it from happening…

I wrote him a message the next day apologizing for the ultimatum and agreeing that one doesn’t learn self control by just avoiding challenging situations and that I’d be okay to try again and call each other out when one tries to initiate.

He wasn’t having it though and told me he doesn’t have time for that shit anymore… we’ll see each other again at work in a few days and haven’t talked since the fight.

I feel like I’m the most horribly disgusting person on the planet. I hurt my friend who was there in the most difficult times for me. I betrayed my boyfriend who is the most loving and caring partner I could think of. All because I’m an impulsive slut. I don’t know what to do, I’m haunted by nightmares. I thought about telling my boyfriend the whole thing but I can’t even imagine how much it would hurt him. Im in a spiral of self hatred thinking it would probably be best for all of I just fucked off to nowhere or killed myself. So yea any input would be greatly appreciated :(

Hey there,

I appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us. I want to say that I understand how hard this must be for you to deal with. Romantic feelings are tricky and intense, especially when they develop unexpectedly. It’s understandable that your conflicting romantic feelings are causing you so much stress. It’s not unusual for people to go through something like this, especially when put in very vulnerable and intimate situations with other people. 

Before I dive into your ask, I just want to say that if you're have any thoughts of suicide. Please, call your country's suicide hot-line or simply the emergency services. Here's a list of suicide hot-lines for every country: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/.

I see that you’re struggling with feelings of guilt and shame, so before anything, I want to let you know that you don’t have to feel like these thoughts are your fault; it’s not always easy to control our attraction for other people. I also want to tell you that you are not a “disgusting person” or an “impulsive slut." You made a mistake, but that doesn't define who you are as a person. It’s possible to learn from these mistakes and make amends with the people you may feel you’ve wronged.

The first steps in doing this are to acknowledge what has happened and take accountability for the role you played. Being truthful and honest with yourself is crucial in moving forward and finding a resolution that works for you. It's not easy to admit when we've made a mistake, but it's an important step toward making things right. 

If you’re interested, this article and video may help you work on taking accountability in any situation: https://tinyurl.com/mu77bfxx. 

Taking responsibility for your actions and communicating openly about how your intentions were never meant to hurt anyone can help to rebuild trust and repair any damage done. Regarding your boyfriend, telling him about what happened is ultimately up to you. You may be feeling like telling your boyfriend will just hurt him and only cause more pain for the two of you. I want to let you know that while we can’t predict how he’ll respond, being honest with your partner shows him that you are willing to be accountable for your mistakes.

You mentioned that you enjoy being in this relationship, so I would urge you to first consider whether or not you want this relationship to continue. Spend some time alone and think about what you want in a relationship. Can you imagine a future with your boyfriend that you would be happy with regardless of the decision you make about telling him? Do you think not telling him is fair to him? Weigh the potential consequences and decide what is best for you and your relationship. 

It's natural to feel lost and unsure of what to do next. These articles are meant to offer some help to those in situations like yours: https://tinyurl.com/bdv3yykt; https://tinyurl.com/5brvc82c. 

If you do decide to tell your boyfriend, it is important to be honest and direct. Choose a time and place where you can have an honest and private conversation. Be prepared for his reaction, and give him space to process his feelings. Try not to anticipate his response as this will only cause you more stress and may make you want to procrastinate telling him even more. Telling him may allow you to move forward with the relationship, but most importantly, you’ll gain a lot more peace of mind. 

Communication is a key aspect of any healthy relationship, but it's not always easy to do effectively. If you find yourself needing help with communicating, these articles may provide you with some guidance: https://tinyurl.com/bded43sp; https://tinyurl.com/4us49v8r.

As for you and your friend, it definitely sounds like a very difficult situation that you both have found yourselves in. It's understandable that you have developed feelings for each other after spending so much time together, but it's important to consider the impact of continuing any type of relationship with him. It sounds like he has made his decision about his path in life, and it's important to respect that aspect of this situation. It’s great that you’re seeing a silver lining in his religious journey of “making the decision," but remember that you always have a choice about what you want and need in your own life and relationships. He seems to be responding to your attempts to communicate in a way that comes off as dismissive and mean. Most likely,  he is just as conflicted by this situation as you are, but you deserve a friend who can communicate with you respectfully and compassionately. While it's natural for emotions to run high in a situation like this, it's not okay for him to treat you in a way that makes you feel so guilty. Know that the responsibility falls equally on him, as well, and you deserve someone who can work through this with you. Consider whether or not this is someone worth maintaining a relationship with. If you decide to maintain the friendship, consider having a conversation with him about how his behavior has made you feel and setting boundaries for how you want to be treated.

This article provides useful signs to consider when deciding whether to be friends with someone you’ve been in a romantic relationship with: https://tinyurl.com/2p8dydbm. 

This post also offers some very important signs it may be time to end a relationship/friendship with someone: https://socialself.com/blog/when-stop-being-friends/. 

I can only imagine how you must feel to have to work with your friend. I understand that quitting your job may not be an option for you. In this case, you may need to find ways to cope with the situation at work and maintain professional boundaries with him. This could involve minimizing your interactions with him outside of your project and being clear about your expectations for how you want to be treated in the workplace. Do you two work on this project alone or are there other colleagues involved? Reaching out to other coworkers and collaborating with them on the project could help to limit your interactions with him. Do you know when exactly in his future he’d like to start his new career path? If this is something you don’t think you can handle, it may be helpful to review your job’s policies and HR resources if you are feeling uncomfortable in any way. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health in this situation. 

Dealing with such a complex situation can be hard, especially in the workplace. Fortunately, there are resources to help navigate through these situations. These articles offer strategies for dealing with difficult emotions and personal relationships at work: https://tinyurl.com/5n6t75mr; https://www.mindtools.com/amqbd0e/managing-your-emotions-at-work 

If you can, try seeking support from a trusted friend or counselor, as well. This can help to process your feelings about this situation and develop coping strategies. If this is something you’d be interested in, these are great resources for finding therapists in your area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/couples-counseling; https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. Don’t forget we’re always here to help, as well; if you ever need more help, don’t hesitate to reach out again! Asking Jude also provides pay-what-you-want, remote peer counseling; to find out more, e-mail jude@askingjude.org.

I hope I was able to help you out a little more. Always be kind to yourself and remember to take your time before making any important decisions. 

Take care of yourself,

Mikayla

[triforceangel13]

The Werewolf’s Mate Ch. 29 (A BakuDeku Werewolf Au)

Chapter 29: The Full Moon

They had gotten to the next hotel with no issues. Izuku had worked on driving at night to let Katsuki sleep and Katsuki had made sure Izuku was covered up well in order to keep him from getting burnt as he drove during the day.

But now they had put much distance between them and where they had been. There had been no instances since then.

Izuku was finally able to relax.

This particular hotel was more like a condo. They were on the top floor in a suite with a built in kitchen. The two of them could hunker down and not worry for a while.

Izuku was scrolling through his phone as he sat on the couch, back facing the window where the setting sun shined but was covered with the blinds.

It basked the room in a soft red and orange tone.

Izuku's next priority was to find a more permanent place to stay and make a list of things they needed to do and change.

Things were calm until Katsuki rushed into the room with a panicked look on his face. He dead bolted the door, the sound of his heart beat ringing in Izuku's sensitve ears.

“Kacchan?” Izuku asked softly, looking at the werewolf as he tugged off his hat and he sighed heavily as he leaned against the door.

The freckled man got up from his seat and appraoched Katsuki slowly, holding out his hand to him.

“Kacchan what's wrong? It's like you've seen a ghost,” Izuku said. Had Uruaka found them? He knew she could track him...he just hoped she respected that enough not to come after them again. She had to know what was going on with the werewolves and vampires.

“Not too close,” Katsuki warned him, gritting his teeth a bit.

Izuku paled a bit.

“Are you hurt?” he asked. There was no scent of blood on him and his wounds had healed up nicely, leaving only slightly pinked scars.

“No,” the blonde sighed, not having neough courage to push Izuku away as he came to him and cupped his cheek.

“Please tell me. I want to help,” he told him.

Katsuki sighed and turned his head to inhale his scent from his wrist. Izuku smiled softly, petting his cheek as the blonde physically relaxed.

“I lost track of the days while we were traveling and while I was healing. I didn't have time to figure out what to do and I don't have anything to chain myself down,” Katsuki explained to him with slightly scared red eyes. “Tonight's the full moon.”

Izuku fekt a lump form in his throat but refused to move his hand from his face despite the small shot of fear that went through him.

Neither of them had planned for this sort of thing. They hadn't thought about the time that they had left before they were faced with it.

Now here it as and in a few short hours Katsuki would be transforming. With human Izuku he would be fine. He would just sniff him and relax. Izuku could have a warm body to snuggle up against for the rest of the night.

But now Izuku was a vampire, a werewolf's sworn enemy despite what was going on around them and how much they loved eachother.

Basic instinct could just deem Izuku an enemy or they could have a night like they used to have when there was a full moon.

“We'll be okay,” Izuku said, his voice shaking a little bit. Katsuki's eyes softened and he reached out and pulled Izuku into a warm hug, inhaling his scent again through his hair.

Izuku melted into his embrace.

“Don't hesitate to hurt me if I come after you, alright?” he said to him. “The bathroom door should hold me back if you go in there and we have enough food but...Just in case.”

“Kacchan, I don't think I could do that,” Izuku said.

Katsuki pulled back a bit and sighed.

“You're gonna have to,” he told him.

Izuku's eyes filled with tears and he buried himself agaisnt him again.

*

Izuku's nerves grew the closer the moon got to rising. The sun had set and Izuku had laid out food to distract himself for what was going to happen.

He had never really witnessed Katsuki's transformation when he was under the moon's effect like this. It as a little scary.

Their first time he had seen him Katsuki hadn't recognized him at first. He had nearly attacked him until he had smelled his familiar scant.

Now that scent was “tainted” in Izuku's eyes. Laced with vampirisim that could make his lover attack or worse.

And he knew Katsuki wouldn't forgive himself for that...

“How are you holding up Kachaan?” Izuku asked softly. Katsuki let out a small grunt from the bed panting softly as he removed his shirt. He told Izuku transformation was better to do when he wasn't wearing anything so he didn't risk ripping his clothes.

His fur covered his body anyway so it wasn't like he as going to be bare.

Izuku approached slowly and Katsuki sat up, glaring a little bit at him when he sat on the edge of the bed. Izuku had no idea where to go.

They had both decided it really was dangerous to go out of the room alone for more than just a few minutes like before with Katsuki. Izuku had to hide in the bathroom or keep himself from getting hurt all night.

He just hoped things went well.

“You shouldn't hold it in Kacchan,” Izuku said soothingly, reaching out and taking one of his hands. He kissed his trembling palm and gave him an encouraging smile. “I'm stonger than I look. I can handle myself just fine. Seeing you like this makes me know you're in pain.”

“I don't want to do it,” Katsuki grumbled a little, shifting close and wrapped his arms around Izuku. He was hesitant at first but when Izuku snuggled up to him he let out a relaxed sigh and held him against his chest.

“Don't fight it Kacchan. It'll hurt more if you do. Remember? You told me that on the first night that you were a wolf in front of me,” Izuku said to him.

Katsuki sighed a little bit and he pulled away. His eyes were swimming with pain and fear despite Izuku's efforts. He was terrified of hurting him.

“It'll be okay,” he said. “I promise.”

Katsuki sighed and pushed a little more away from him to give them distance.

“Don't watch, please” Katsuki told him.

Izuku rose up from the bed and took a seat on the couch again.

“I promise not to wach. I'm right here,” Izuku said to him.

Katsuki felt a shiver go through him as he tried to hold it in again. He grumbled something about not wanting to again as he removed the rest of his clothes and sat on the bed.

A deep growl set in his chest as it started. As promised Izuku turned his eyes away, thankful for he did for what he heard next.

Bones cracked as Katsuki's body morphed, the sounds of his pain making tears collect in green orbs as Izuku heard his lover in pain.

It took five minutes for the noise to finally stop. Izuku slowly looked back towards the bed, seeing red orbs glaring at him and the sound of heavy breathing coming from the bed.

“Kacchan...?” Izuku asked softly

His response was a deep warning growl and that had fear sinking into the pit of Izuku's stomach as he stared at those red eyes.

The fear he had thought of that he wanted to avoid was actually happening right now.

“Kacchan,” Izuku said, slowly getting up from the couch. He had to at least try to get to the bathroom to lock himself in there. “It's me. It's okay.”

“Vampire,” Katsuki growled out to him, slowly getting up off of the bed, eyes glaring daggers at him. Izuku swallowed, trying to keep the distance between them and back up towards the bathroom. But with each step he took back, Katsuki took one step forward.

“What are you doing in my territory,” he growled at him. Izuku swallowed. Despite that he had promised Katsuki he would do whatever he could to get away from him he still couldn't bring himself to hurt Katsuki.

“I'm your mate,” Izuku said, voice shaking. “Remember?”

No response came from him and Katsuki launched at him. Izuku quickly ran out of the way, dodging his attack but Katsuki was coming at him again.

Werewolves were nearly as fast as vampires, and what they lacked in the super amount of speed they made up for in strength and smarts.

“Kacchan please!” Izuku cried out to him as he dodged a swipe of claws, ducking his head and ran for the bathroom. Just as he was about to close the door a hand grabbed at his ankle and tugged him away from there.

He let out a yelp, his back hitting the floor as the large wolf pinned him down to the floor with one of his large clawed hands.

Izuku kicked hard up into him, hearing something crack as he was sure he cracked one of Katsuki's ribs.

The wolf grunted but didn't let up. All it ended up doing to him was making him close his teeth around his shoulder and bite down hard.

Izuku let out a cry of pain, tears springing from his eyes as he felt the pain bloom from his shoulder intensly.

One taste of Izuku's blood seemed to be what Katsuki needed and he immediately snapped out of his moon rage, releasing his shoulder and staring down at him with wide panicked eyes. He had bitten him. He had signed Izuku's death notice!

“Izuku...oh my god Izuku!” Katsuki cried out to him, collecting Izuku up against his chest. Izuku cried softly, covering his face in his hands despite the burn in his shoulder.

He had heard what happened. That burning sensation would spread through his body and he would end up passing on in a matter of days from this one bite.

“I'm so sorry Izuku,” Katsuki said, tears damepning the fur on his cheeks as he held Izuku like he was a d elicate little flower. “Kacchan,” Izuku said, reaching up to touch his face. Katsuki stared down at him in horror, his heart hammering in his chest.

“No...no,” Katsuki said, shaking his head and gently let his mouth close over his wound, trying to suck out the venom in his shoulder.

But there was no use. It was too late.

Katsuki cried harder and he bit into his own wrist, pushing his wrist to Izuku's mouth. Maybe some of his blood would help him?

Izuku licked at the wound sucking in the blood and let out a breath as he felt the burning sensation starting to subside a bit.

It was odd. The pain was only sitting on his shoulder.

“My Izuku. I'm so sorry. I...I hate this. I wish I was never a wolf,” Katsuki cried as Izuku pulled his lips away. He closed his eyes, letting Katsuki cry into his chest as he held him.

“It's okay Kacchan,” Izuku tried to soothe. “It'll be okay.”

I’m open for written commissions

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[specialagentlokitty]

Noel Moulin x reader - Perfect

Hi, first off I'm so excited to be sending in my first mechat request! If possible may I please request a Noel Moulin x fem reader oneshot? Where they go on a date and run into eachothers ex's, first Noel's (the cheater) and then R's. Then they see both of them at the same time causing them to hide/runaway. Which causes a series of hilarious/fluffy events? - Rosa’s Anon 💜

Bouncing on the balls of your feet, you were wearing a huge grin on your face as you waited for your date to show up.

“(Y/N)!”

Before you could react you were tackled in a hug. Laughing, you quickly hugged back, missing the feeling of his arms around you.

“Noel! Hi!”

He let go, wearing a hug grin, he laced his fingers with yours and tugged you into his side.

“Did you miss me?” He teased.

“Nope, but you clearly miss me.”

He pouted, but still wore a small grin on his face as you smirked up at him.

Both of you started to walk around the park.

“I’m kidding Noel! I was really excited when you said you wanted another date.”

“Well, I am irresistible.” He hummed.

“Uh Huh, keep saying that, maybe it’ll fuel your massive ego.”

“Damn you’re so mean.”

“But you like it.” You winked.

“Yeah, Yeah.”

You guys laughed again, and just started chatting about what you two had been up to. You told him about the new project you were working on, and how you barely had any free time.

He told you about the things he had been up to, and the new things he had been trying.

“Oh no...” Noel whispered.

“Noel? What’s wrong?”

He said nothing and spun around, walking the other way. Looking around you briefly realised why he was doing that and ran over so him, slipping your arm around his waist.

He was still hurt over what his ex had done to him, you knew that.

“Let’s go somewhere else.” You smiled softly.

He looked down at your smiling face and gave you a weak smile in return.

“I’m sorry for ruining our date...” he mumbled.

“Noel no! You’re not ruining it at all! I understand completely, we’ll just got to the mall if you want?”

His smile widened a little bit, he looked like a little kid on Christmas.

“Really? Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Of course I am, you’re going through a lot right now but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to up and abandon you.”

Noel smiled softly and nodded his head, wrapping his arm around you as you guys crossed the street towards the mall.

“So, what’re we gonna do then?” He asked.

“Hm, how about we explore the shops, maybe get some food?”

“Sounds perfect.”

You guys wondered about once more, you decided to visit your favourite shop while you were here.

Wondering the aisles looking around, you bumped into someone.

“Sorry!”

“What’re you doing here.” A familiar voice sneered.

You looked up, stumbling back a few steps, bumping into Noel who quickly put his arms around you.

“Nothing, just leaving.”

“Awh come on (Y/N), don’t I even get a simple conversation outta you?” The other man asked.

“Nope, cya!”

With that, you took Noel’s hand and left the shop.

“Hey, Hey, Hey, What was that?” He asked worried.

“My idiot ex.”

Noel nodded his head, sitting on a bench, he pulled you into his lap, making your face heat up in embarrassment.

You’d told Noel all about you ex and the things he’d done to you.

“Noel... we’re in public...”

“I don’t care, you need a hug.”

As he said that, he firmly wrapped his arms around you, making you sigh but smile at the same time.

Noel was different, he was gentle, loving, kind. He was everything a woman could’ve hoped for in a guy.

“I really like you.” Noel said, “and I want you to know that I’d never treat you like that.”

“I like you too Noel, you know I’d never cheat on you.”

He smiled and stood up, he had you in his arms before he set you on the floor.

“Lets eat!”

Noel took your hand and practically ran through the mall looking for a good place to eat. Finally you guys had found it, so you sat down flicking through the menu.

“What do you want?”

“Uhm... salad?” You asked.

“Okay, but what do you really wanna eat?” Noel chuckled.

“The biggest burger they have...” you mumbled.

“I was just looking at that! Bet I could finish it before you.” He grinned.

“Oh, you’re so on.”

You guys quickly placed your orders and started to chat once more when two familiar voices hit your ears.

“Oh shit!” Noel whisper yelled.

“Quick hide!”

Out of relax the both of you ducked under the table. Peaking over you saw both your ex’s while in the opposite direction. Their backs now turned to you.

Turning to Noel you found him grinning as he looked over at you.

“We look like idiots.” He laughed.

Getting up, you both sat down while still laughing.

“Well we had to hide!” You laughed back.

Again, another round of laughter took over the pair of you as you guys tried your best to calm yourselves down.

While you were wiping the tears from your eyes because you were laughing so hard, Noel was looking at you with admiration, he was so lucky to have matched you

[vanillanaps]

Unfaithful | Steve Rogers

Summary - You promised yourself it was the last time you’d see him. The last time you canceled on your boyfriend to meet up with him. The last time you’d lay naked beneath his sheets as he was buried between your thighs, but promised where meant to be broken.

A/n - y’all it’s been so long since I wrote smut, please just bear with me. The ending is also lowkey bad, idk y’all.

Category - Fem!Reader, angst, smut

Warnings - poorly written unprotected sex, arguments, cheating (I do not condone cheating) fluff at the end, I guess?

Word Count - 3.4k

♡♡♡♡

You shouldn’t be here, doing this, with him. It was wrong, it was so wrong and you knew that. Your boyfriend didn’t deserve the pain you’d been putting him through this past year, but you couldn’t help it. The way his calloused, soft hands felt running up and down your naked sides, his plump pink lips trailing kisses from your lips, down to your neck and across your shoulders. Or the way his piercing blue eyes gazed into the souls of yours, reading you like an open book. He was new, exciting and adventurous. The moment you met him, you knew it was something different about him. How he walked, talked and even presented himself. When he made that first move against you and even then you couldn’t resist him, not even when your boyfriend was a few feet away from you.

The presence of a body pulled you from your thoughts as the steam of the hot water pouring from the shower filled your senses, “You alright?”

You nodded softly, pushing away the intrusive thoughts and letting yourself have this moment. Your bottom lip was brought in between your lips at the feeling of those cherry red lips being traced against your steaming skin, “Steve, we can’t. I have to go.”

“I just need you once more before you go.” He whispered to you, his hands resting on your hips while he pressed his front up against your backside, letting you feel his hardness for you all over again. A soft moan escaped your mouth at the touch of his hard shaft flesh against your ass. You weren’t sure why you tried, knowing that each and every time, you’d melt right back into his arms without him doing much convincing.

You turned in his hold, not wanting to loiter for a moment longer, your lips found his. His hands circled around to your back, pulling you close to him. Turning the two of you around, he pushed you up against the cold titled wall, he took the chance of your lips parting with a gasp to slip his tongue in. The kiss grew heated and hands began to travel. Yours around his neck and his down to your thighs to lift you up, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Steve, please.” You muttered against his mouth, sighing when his shaft brushed against your folds, teasing you tremendously.

“I’ve got you.” He’d answer back. It was true, he always had you.

Your head fell back against the shower wall as he sunk himself into you. His breath shuttering against your neck as your walls squeezed him like no tomorrow, still a throbbing mess from your earlier sessions that you were supposed to be scrubbing off. His grip on your thighs tightened, thrusting up into you. Your moans filled the steamy shower as his heavy cock stretched the walls of your pussy, nails clawing at the nape of his neck while he fucked you endlessly. Steve dipped his neck down, tongue trailing against your breast, trying to bring you the most immense pleasure he could before you left him again. He knew you wouldn’t last long around him, but he figured he’d make you cum once more before you were gone.

“Fuck, please don’t stop!” You moaned, now tucking your head into his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer to you.

“Gonna cum already?” He asked, not even needing the answer. He knew by the way that sweet cunt of yours tightened, just nearly squeezing the life out of him, “gonna make a mess all over me again?”

You nodded desperately, your back trying to arch, “I’m so close.”

Steve widened his foot stance, repositioned his arms to hook under your knees to spread you wider for him. Picking his pace up, his hips snapped against yours, pelvis brushing up against your clit and his balls slapping up against your ass. He smirked through his groans at the feeling of tightening up around him, “That’s it baby, cum for me.” A cry left your throat as you followed his commands and released all over him, continuing to fuck you through your orgasm til his thrust sputtered to a complete stop and his load shot heavy into you.

If he was being truthful, he didn’t want to let you go. If he had it his way, he’d lay you in his bed and cook you a nice lunch as you slept away the last five orgasms he gave you, but that wasn’t his place. He was there for a fuck and then you’d go home to the man you claimed you loved. But how could you love him when you were here with Steve? How could you love him when you went back home nearly every night with Steve’s cum still leaking out of you. How were you still his?

♡♡♡♡

You felt his eyes burning holes into your back as he watched you dress yourself. Pulling that black dress he bought you down over your hips to wear for another man, “When can I see you again?”

There it was, the question that you knew he’d been itching to ask. Lately, you've been distant with him. Trying to dodge his phone calls and avoid his text, only making it at least two days but then you’d find yourself tangled in his sheets for the next few nights. But tonight was supposed to be different, it had to be. This was the last night you’d spent with him. The last night you’ll put more strains on your relationship for the man that lounged on his bed in nothing but sweats, “I can’t do this anymore.”

You didn’t need to turn around to see him rolling his eyes, you heard it, “You do this bullshit every week. You say you’re done and then I end up right in between your legs. Just stay.”

“Steve, I can’t and you know that!” You avoided his words, knowing the truth behind him.

“Give me one good reason why you can’t?” He questioned, getting up from the bed and following behind you as you collected your belongings.

“Because I love him. He’s my boyfriend and I should be there with him, not you.” You shot back.

Steve scoffed, “You love him, yet you’re here fucking me on your anniversary with him? Oh wow, he’s a lucky guy!”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” You whipped around, pointing a finger in his face, “You knew what this was when we first started! I told you from the beginning what it was going to be and it’s not my fault that you caught feelings! I’m happy where I am!”

“I’m not gonna sit here and act like I don’t see through your facade.” Steve stepped to you, pushing your hand from his face as he slowly backed you into a wall, “You don’t love him, you’re comfortable with him. He’s all you know, your safe place. Someone who will always be there when you crash and burn. You’re scared to let me in because I actually make you feel something. I challenge you, I put excitement into your life and that scares the shit out of you because you think one day it’ll come to an end. That I’ll leave and we’ll never see eachother again.”

“You’re wrong.” You spat, he’s right.

“No, I’m not.” Steve shook his head, his anger fading away. He didn’t want to be angry at you, he wanted you to see the truth. He wanted you to see what good you had standing in front of him and what you could make a life out of, “He bores you. It’s been the same thing since high school. You told me this. You’re keeping yourself in a relationship that’s already over. It’s been over the moment we came in each other’s lives, why can’t you see that?”

“Steve..” You breathed, lip trembling as his words started to hit home. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, he only wanted you to see him.

He let his thumb softly wipe away the tear that dared spill over your tear duct, his hand coming to caress your cheek before his fingers slide down to take your chin between them and titling your head up, “Let me be the man that makes you happy. That keeps you feeling young and excited everyday. Let me be the one to tell you that I love you everyday for the rest of our lives.” His eyes searched yours finding them completely conflicted. A small slither of hope filled his chest, this was the furthest he ever got with you in this conversation. His head lowered to place his lip on yours, placing small pecks upon them, “I love you, let me love you.”

For a moment, you took pleasure in the situation. His lips repeatedly pressed against yours in a soft manner as he confessed his love for you. You let yourself have a glimpse at your future with Steve. He was right, he did excite you, challenge you and bring adventure into your life. With Steve, there was no telling where the future might take you. The infatuation you had with him is what kept you coming back to him, but it’s also what kept you an arms length away. Knowing that at any moment, this relationship you’d built with Steve could be taken away. He could start loving someone the same way he started loving you. What if he got bored of you? What if you were only excited because you belonged with somebody else and there was a thrilling edge of being caught when he would be balls deep into you as your boyfriend called. There were too many what if’s. With the man you called yours, you knew it would be forever. That’s why you couldn’t let yourself love Steve Rogers.

“Stop, stop.” You muttered, placing your hand on his chest to push away, “I-I can’t.”

“Don’t do this, please.” He sighed as you slipped from his grip and continued to gather your belongings. His heart was nearly ready to jump out his chest as he watched you walk towards his front door, hand on the knob, “If you leave, then that’s it!” He called, stopping you in your tracks, “I’m tired of being your back up when you aren’t happy with him! It’s been a year and I’m tired of waiting. If you—if you walk out that door, then I’m done! It’s over!” Steve’s chest bounced heavily, nerves running through his body as he watched your frozen stance, but what could he have expected? You didn’t leave your boyfriend then, so why would you leave him now?

“I hope you have a nice life, Steve.” Without even a glance back, you walked out of his apartment and out of his life.

♡♡♡♡

Checking your eyes once more, dabbing away in puffiness in your eyes just before you crossed the threshold of Darren’s apartment, “Babe? Baby, I’m here!” Closing the door behind you, setting your keys and purse on the entry table, “I’m sorry I’m late! Traffic was crazy.” You lied smoothly, turning the corner to see your boyfriend sitting at the opposite end of the dining room table, hands folded in his lap, candles burned down to the middle and food that had looked like it had been sitting for a while, “What’s all this?”

“Well, I had a dinner planned for our anniversary.” He spoke, getting up from his chair to make his way over to you, “But clearly you had better things to do.”

You were taken back by his words. There had never been a time that Darren had spoken to you with that kind of tone, but then again, there had never been a time you’d been late for an anniversary dinner, “Darren, there was traffic. What did you want me to do? Tell them to hurry up? Run through it?”

“Yeah, well that excuse would be valid if it didn't take you nearly three hours to get here when you only live twenty minutes away.” He moved around you, blowing the candles out.

“Okay, baby wait.” You sighed, grabbing his hand to stop him from clearing the table, “I woke up from my nap late and was just completely off schedule and you know how much I hate when you comment on my time management.” Darren stopped letting you pull him towards you, “I’m sorry, okay? I’ll make it up to you. I’m here now so let’s just warm the food up and enjoy it, yeah?”

He looked down to your pleading eyes before giving you a small nod, “Okay.”

“Okay, good. I’ll go warm up the food and meet you on the couch.” Placing a small kiss on his cheek, you grabbed the plates of food and made your way to the kitchen. A breath of relief came from you as you loaded a plate into the microwave. You knew that you’d be late, but being three hours late and using traffic as your excuse nearly blew your cover. You knew you couldn’t keep doing this to him, which is why you ended it with Steve. Darren had been nothing but good to you and you were doing him wrong in the worst way because only did to fuck another man, but you fell in love with him.

The night was slow and awkward. You tried to converse, ask him about his day, how work was, and what his plans were but all you got back was ‘it was okay’, ‘it was work’, and ‘probably nothing’. You slightly frowned at his responses, but it wasn’t like he didn’t have a right to be upset. Deciding to make it up to him, you set your plates down and crawled into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as you kissed him slowly, “I’m sorry.” You muttered against his lips. At first, you’d thought he’d forgiven you when his hands came to your waist, but it was to only push you away, “What’s wrong?”

Darren sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch staring up at the ceiling, “...You still smell like him.”

You faltered, pulling away slightly, “Wh-what?”

He brought his hands up, rubbing them over his face, “Usually when you come back from being with him, it’s faint. No matter how much you try to scrub him off you, I assume it’s because the two of you shower together, but it’s like today you didn’t even try.”

“You knew?” You questioned. Since when? For how long? Why is he just now saying something? Had he known each and every time you’d come from Steve’s apartment? Did he know the few times Steve came to your apartment?

Darren scoffed, slowly sliding you off his lap, getting up from the couch, “Is that all you have to say to me? If I knew? Of course I knew! My girlfriend is out there getting fucked by another man and you think I didn’t know? All the late night calls and text messages. When you're ‘working overtime’. Being too sick to come see me, but in reality, you’re with somebody else. Coming here with missing panties, yeah I’ve noticed! All these new clothes that you can’t fucking afford because you make minimum wage and can barely pay rent for that apartment you have!” He raged, pacing the living room back and forth, “Then you come in here, three hours late on our fucking anniversary, smelling like him! You fucked him. You fucked somebody else on a day we were supposed to celebrate our relationship!”

“I'm sorry! I broke it off with him! It’s done! I’ll never see him again!” You tried to reason, tears threatening to spill, getting up from the couch as you made your way towards him, trying to take his hands into yours to keep him from pacing, but he only snatched his away, “Darren, please! I swear it’s over!”

He stopped his pacing, his breath deepening as he tried to calm himself, “How long have you been seeing him?”

You gulped figuring that you lied and hurt him enough. He didn’t deserve what you put him through, you’re causing him nothing but pain, “A year.”

He scoffed, shaking his head, “A year. A fucking ye—“ He paused, eyes finding yours and looking into what felt like the depths of your soul, “Do you love him?”

Your heart dropped, mouth running dry, “Darren, don’t make me answer that.”

He took a step closer to you, “Do. You. Love. Him?”

Tears finally fell, wetting your cheeks as you nodded.

“Get out.” He started, you went to testify but he just shut you down, “I don’t want to hear anymore of your excuses. Just—leave! Go! I don’t wanna see you ever again!” You watched as he stomped around the apartment before finally getting to the single bedroom, the door slamming shut behind him.

This is what you deserved. You didn’t have a right to cry, to be upset for him kicking you out. You had sealed your fate months ago when you first stepped out on him with Steve. You sealed your fate once you continued to sleep with Steve even after you had fallen in love with him and now, you’d lost both of them.

♡♡♡♡

The days passed slowly as you fell in a rut. How did you allow yourself to end up here? Alone, sad and broken. The two most important people no longer in your life. Both had been completely fed up with your shit and could you blame them for it? No. If you were being truthful, you would’ve done the same. If you were Darren, you would’ve left him the moment you knew. If you were Steve, you wouldn’t allow him to string you along as far as you did to him. God, were you a bitch. But a bitch who couldn’t help what she felt.

The days didn’t slow because Darren wasn’t in your life anymore. You could live without the schedule days that had been the same since you met Darren. There was no change, the excitement started and ended in highschool, but you stayed for your own selfish reasons that had now turned its back on you. It had left you cold and alone in the world, with no one to turn to, not even friends. They’d left you behind to go travel the world once college was over while you chose to settle down with the man that had no true desire for the adventures of life. He still didn’t deserve what you did.

But then there was Steve Rogers. The man you had gotten so easily infatuated with in so little time. You were at his beck and call, more of him crawling to you as you kept him on a string. Again, for your own selfish reasons. Steve’s life scared you. His days weren’t planned to a T, he didn’t schedule out breakfast, lunch and dinner. There wasn't any planned bedroom time and the sex was far from vanilla. Steve was wild, reckless and carefree while still being wholesome and loving all in one. You knew what your heart wanted. Back then, you were scared to follow it. But now, after having a taste of loosing it all, you said fuck it. You’d dive headfirst into this if you had to, if you even still had the chance to.

Your mind ran a mile a minute as your legs carried you into the apartment building and up the familiar staircase you had been through so many times before. Flashbacks of you being pressed against almost every inch of these walls at least once by him as the two of you could barely make it to his apartment on the third floor. A soft smile at the memory as you came face to face with his front door. Taking a deep breath and raising your fist, knocking against the tall wood.

Moments passed before the door swung open, your eyes meeting those stunning baby blue ones that you didn’t realize you missed so much, “Hi.”

“Hey.” Steve responded, leaning his body against the doorframe. The silence took over for a moment before he spoke up again, “I’m guessing you two..?”

You nodded, “Yeah, we did. You were right.”

A soft sigh escaped his lips as he stood straight, motioning towards him. Relief ran through your body as you allowed yourself to be buried into his chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent. The smallest of smiles curled into your lips as you felt his press against your temple, his arms wrapping around you tighter for a moment longer, before he guided you into his apartment.

This was the start of new beginnings.

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

[kwonhoshi0]

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 | h.c

navigation | requests : open | 5th february 2021

pairing : midoriya, bakugou, todoroki x gn!reader [separate]

genre : angst to fluff

warnings : season 3 spoilers, violence, eating, drinks

themes : heartbreak, idiocy, violence

: since the training camp you had been a target for the league of villains you fought hard to get your classmate back and that made you an instant target since you showed how powerful you can be but that also means no one can know about your relationship with [ - ], if they did that would be mean he’s also a target and the thought of that terrified you, so it’s for the best.. right.

> quirk : telekinesis | eleven stranger things |

[ midoriya ]

> it was no secret that you’re powerful

> deku trained with you a lot so he knew what you were capable of

> he was the one who truly let you embrace your quirk praising you

> he always told you he’s proud of you afterwards

> so when you told him you couldn’t be with him anymore he was devastated

-> scenario

> you had been thinking about the threat of the lov and how much they wanted to get rid of you, it’s a matter of time before people catch you going to cafes and on dates with the green haired boy, since you were getting more publicity each time a villain attacked it was difficult sneaking around

> breaking up with deku never once crossed your mind, only for his safety, he was already a target but they don’t know he’s all mights successor so you’re still a lot more targeted but if the lov found out you’re dating? you could only imagine the worst

> you knocked on his door, he opened it with a smile on his face as usual ‘hey baby’ he pulled you into a hug, noticing you trying not to hug him back he looked at your face ‘hey is something wrong?’

> you were trying so hard to keep a straight face, to make this hurt as much as possible so he wouldn’t come back, you knew if he tried to get you back you wouldn’t be able to resist

> ‘izuku..’ you paused breathing in, ‘we can’t be together anymore’ he looked at you for a couple seconds before breaking out in a laugh, ‘ very funny, don’t say things like that!, we need to finish that series we were watching..wait-’

> your face hadn’t changed, the only different being the small beads forming under your eyes, ‘you’re being serious?’ he said with a shaky voice, his eyes were slightly shiny tears threatening to form, his entire face fell

> ‘i’m sorry’ was all you said before you attempted to leave only being stopped by his hand ‘midoriya let go-’

> ‘not until you tell me why, y/n we’re so happy, you were happy yesterday and now you’re saying you don’t want this anymore? what happened, you told me you loved me, was that a lie’

> you tried so so hard not to sob yelling how much you love him right there but you already started crying

> ‘y-you’re crying, why would you be crying if you don’t care about me, if you didn’t care you would’ve left minutes ago so why’

> ‘izuku i couldn’t keep putting you in fucking danger it’s driving me insane, we can’t go out to eat without worrying someone will recognise us and hunt you down, i need you to be safe and this is the only way’ you pulled your arm away from him wiping away the tears on your cheeks

> he pulled you back towards him his nose touching yours, you didn’t push him away, he took his thumb swiping it across your cheek wiping it of the fresh tears

> ‘then we’ll deal with it together, not apart’

[ bakugou ]

> he knew how you felt because everytime aizawa mentioned being targeted he couldn’t help but notice you not looking at him or glancing at him as much

> you comforted him after each nightmare or any doubts he had after he got kidnapped

> whispering to him while he layed in your arms ‘bakugou you are the strongest person i know, you can’t blame yourself for anything, nobody blames you, they never have’

> you were his comfort, his teddybear

-> scenario

> the last few days you had been distant from him which didn’t make him worry much since you’re both busy sometimes and you both understood that

> but when you refused to look at him and gave him short answers after class he got worried

> ‘y/n, what the fuck is happening’ you couldn’t look him in the eyes

> you put on your best straight face and said ‘bakugou we can’t be together’

> there was silence for a couple seconds

> ‘teddy bear..’

> it hurt, it hurt so bad seeing him upset over you, you couldn’t even comfort him, so you left

> you sat with the dekusquad afraid of running into him and sobbing

> after you left he stood there for a couple seconds, he wiped away a couple tears forming as all the memories of you flashed through his head in a second, he held the necklace you got together, a promise necklace

> he sat at his normal table not talking to anyone only glancing at you, you weren’t talking to anyone either, not even touching the food in front of you

> after a couple minutes you got up and grabbed your bag after the many protests from todoroki and midoriya telling you to eat

> mina saw you getting up ‘hey bakugou is y/n okay?’ he only ignored her watching as you hurried off to what seemed to be the girls bathrooms, mina followed after you. he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t worried

> ‘y/n?.. wait are you okay, come out of the toilets’ she watched as you slowly came out with puffy under eyes and teary eyes ‘oh my god y/n what happened’, you explained everything, how you broke up with him because of how dangerous it was being with him, how he would be safer without you

> ‘y/n i’ve never seen bakugou happier then when he’s with you, if things are meant to be with you two then things will work out, i promise’

> you both walked back to class only to see him and a couple students already there, you weren’t planning on going back to lesson saying you’re injured but you knew aizawa would’ve sent you to recovery girl only for there be nothing to recover from

> you sat in your seat trying your hardest not to cry or move or even glance at him

> he watched you every couple seconds, eyes softening when he noticed a tear drop from your eyes watching as you quickly wiped them away sitting up straight

> he knew you love him but he doesn’t know why you left him

> a couple days past and he couldn’t help but notice how puffy your eyes looked

> he missed you, a lot and his nightmares had increased in the last 3 days

> you did everything to avoid him

> but finally you had to talk to eachother because aizawa paired you up, you asked aizawa if you could swap ‘y/n you and bakugou are great training partners, plus he doesn’t hurt you enough to send you to recovery girl like he does others’

> you sighed walking to your designated training area

> you didn’t want to hurt him more than you have emotionally this past week so you barely tried

> ‘you’re not trying’ he states, you looked up at him regretting it instantly seeing his eyebags and crimson eyes, not twinkling as they usually do

> ‘sorry’ you said quickly getting ready to dodge again

> ‘for what’... ‘huh?’.. ‘what are you sorry for’ he said searching your eyes for an answer

> ‘everything’.. ‘y/n that’s not a fucking answer’ frustrated he walked over to you pulling out a necklace that hid under his shirt

> ‘we got these as a fucking promise, a promise we would always be here, are you even wearing yours’ his hand reached over to your neck, his eyes lit up for a second when he realised you were still wearing it

> ‘i know you still love me, so why the fuck-’

> ‘bakugou you’re in constant fucking danger because of me, we can’t do anything together without having to worry, i want you to find someone that you can be in a normal relationship with, not someone who can’t even go outside with you without fearing the worst’ you let a couple tears slip out wiping them away as fast a they came

> ‘don’t be fucking stupid come here’ he pulled you towards him engulfing you in his scent which you missed greatly, ‘dumbass, we make these fuckin decisions together, which means you have to deal with me, we aren’t breaking up over some stupid villains alright’

> you held him tighter than you have before

> he made sure that for now you order take out rather than going out to eat and when you do go outside you made sure to wear masks and go with some of your classmates

> he does all of this because he loves you that much and he cares that much

[ todoroki ]

> you pined over eachother for months before todoroki had the courage to talk to you

> the conversations always flowed really well and there was no awkward pauses thinking of what to say

> you fit with eachother like a puzzle piece

> since you’re the first person he’s felt this way about you had to, show him affection and how it w o r k s?

> like when you hug him he doesn’t understand why people like hugging until you do it, he feels warm and safe in your arms and he now understands why he sees people hugging a lot

> when you first kissed it was like sparks and fireworks were going off around you, you didn’t plan on kissing him then but you had just hugged him so he was close and you looked up at him as he looked down at you smiling a little, with that you closed the space between you pressing your lips to his

> your relationship since then has been a comfortable and safe relationship for you both, that was until the training camp incident when you realised how much danger you were really putting todoroki in

> aizawa was talking to you in the staff room about the safety precautions you had to take and how you have to be careful with your relationship with todoroki

> a part of you was hoping he’d say you have to break up for safety reasons but he knows you don’t want that, even if it was for the best

> todoroki is going to be an amazing hero who will save thousands of lives and you could be the undoing of that future

> so you had to do it

-> scenario

> ‘hey love, what are we doing outside’ you were stood outside the dorms, you wanted to tell him here just so no one would interrupt

> ‘i uhm..’ this is a lot harder than you thought

> you looked at your feet refusing to look into his eyes knowing you’d breakdown

> ‘todoroki i can’t do this.. anymore’ 

> ‘can’t do what?’ when you didn’t look at him again he realised

> ‘what.. what happened baby we were normal yesterday did i do something wrong?’ you ignored him shifting your feet a little

> ‘do you not love me anymore’ it broke your heart that he thought that, you’re doing this because you love him not because you don’t .. but you had to say this to get him away

> ‘i..no i don’t’

> refusing to look at his face you ran back in tears falling down your cheeks as you ignored your friends asking if you’re okay and shut yourself in your room

> no more laying on his chest while you talk about random things at 3am, no more feeding him soba and no more holding hands running in the rain

> it was all too good to be true and now it’s over

> the next couple weeks you wanted to see him, check how he was doing but you couldn’t so you stuck to quick glances, sometimes you met his eyes in the process cursing at yourself

> your friends noticed you were off, ochako midoriya and iida asked why you weren’t hanging out with them

> you didn’t want to cause todoroki more pain so you hung out with the bakusquad so todoroki could stick with his friends without it being awkward

> you’re already friends with some of the bakusquad but you just didn’t hang out with them as much

> ‘y/n why do you look so.. lifeless’ denki asked you, you would usually be happy to talk to people and be playful but recently you had just stared at your food and soba only to be reminded of him

> ‘i don’t know’ you lied, your friends were worried about you

> todoroki was good at hiding things, he was a lot happier with you smiling while with you and around you but now he doesn’t have you

> a part of you thought he was over it already but you knew that was just you overthinking it

> ‘you know what, we should have a class movie night !, mopey you’re coming’ you looked at mina for a second before realising you’re who she’s talking to

> ‘mopey’ you raised a brow, ‘yeah you haven’t been yourself lately we want the old y/n back!! ..you haven’t even gamed with us’ kirishima spoke up making you smile sadly

> and then you realised todoroki probably won’t be at the movie night since he only went because of you ‘okay, ill go’

> that night you sat inbetween denki and bakugou scrolling through your phone while the dekubakusquad picked a movie

> ‘hey dumbass, why’d you look so fuckin dead’

> ‘not sure’.... ‘that’s bullshit’ he responded staring at his own phone

> ‘mhm’ was all you could say before the movie started

> as you looked up you realised todoroki was sitting in front of you

> how were you going to get through this..

> the movie begun and you quickly realised it was one of your favourite movies, it was the movie that you and todoroki had your first kiss watching

> clearing your head of these thoughts you carried on watching

> half an hour later it got to the part where the guy finally kisses his crush and you felt tears in your eyes, holding them back as you remembered todoroki kissing you during this scene

> you felt someone move from in front of you, your eyes widening as todoroki took your arm pulling you up close to him

> ‘what are you-’

> ‘y/n i chose this movie because i wanted to be able to do this again’ he cupped your cheeks smashing his lips to yours, you couldn’t pull away this is all you wanted and missed

> as you both pulled away he said ‘i know you don’t love me but i want to help you learn to love me again and i prom-’ you cut him off as you felt guilt bubble up inside of you remembering what you said

> ‘i lied.. i said that i didn’t love you because i needed you to leave, i broke up with you because of the target, i can’t have someone finding out about us and using you and hurting you as a way to get to me i would be taking away your chance at becoming a great hero, i can’t do that it’s selfish’

> he looked at you as the sides of his lips curled up in a small smile

> ‘a part of me should be mad at you for breaking up with me because of hero stuff but i understand, i’m relieved you love me, i love you and you love me that’s why we’re going to be careful and make this work’

A/N :

pain only pain, why do i do this

taglist : @blazedbakugou @todoroki-shoto-is-life @luluwiie

[sxnnimoon]

Little One pt. 6

Part 6 is here babies! I hope you all love it and I hope you all have a great weekend! (also if anyone knows to do those text and social media posts of artists and celebs please let me know!)

----------------------------------------------

“Park seo joon… WHY?!” you glared at him.

“Oh come on princess,” he smirked. “You should know me better than anyone else.”

You tried to move away from his hand that came to your face.

“You were mine before theirs.” he grabbed your face.

“You’re crazy.” you said, barely above a whisper.

“It was only a matter of time before I could have you all for myself.” he smirked leaning in.

You whispered out a no before he let go of your face. He took a few steps away from you before he turned around and hit you, instantly apologizing.

You spit out a bit of blood, you wanted nothing more than to cry out but tried keeping yourself together.

“What will you gain from this?” you looked up at him with disgust.

“What aren’t you getting?” he tilted his head. “I finally have what's mine. You would be mine if they didn’t come into the picture. They always took away what was mine.”

You were confused on what he meant but you could see the sadness in his eyes for a split second, but it soon switched to anger.

He rushed towards you. Fear setting in, not knowing what he was going to do. He untied you from the chair leaving your feet and hands bound. He picked you up, carrying you out of the empty room. You tried looking at where you were, all you could see was a carpeted floor and paintings scattered on the wall. It felt familiar, like you had been here before but you couldn’t think of where. Before you knew it you were thrown on to a bed. You clutched the shirt that covered your body tight feeling the sleeves slip down your shoulders. Looking around the room you could finally piece together where you were.

“The villa…” you whispered.

He chuckled darkly, he knew you figured it out.

“Why bring me here?” you looked at him confused. “They will find me. It’s only a matter of ti-“

He slapped you.

“ENOUGH!” he yelled, making you jump back. “Let them come. It won’t end well for them.”

He left the room soon after. You couldn’t believe he would bring you to the one place they would find you, the villa your family owned, it was where you met Seo Joon in your high school days, it also had been a place you would bring the boys when you wanted a few days away in the woods for peace and quiet. You both were best friends up until you married. His behavior changed once you started seeing any of the boys, it had become clingy and possessive. You never knew him like that, he was always the sweet, shy and smart Park Seo Joon. you couldn’t grasp where it all went wrong. It saddened you but you had to remain strong, you couldn’t let your guard down.

A few hours passed and he finally returned, this time with food and water. He walked towards you, making you tense up and move away. He pulled you by your ankles. You tried fighting back.

“I’m untying you, chill the fuck out.” he hissed. “Now don’t try anything.” he pointed at you before sitting in the chair across from where you were.

“Now eat,” he grumbled.

You stared at the food, not having the strength to move.

“I may have taken you but i can assure you it’s not poisoned.” he said rolling his eyes.

You ate slowly.

“Now that you have me, what will you do to me?” you ask him.

He liked that you wanted to ‘talk’ to him, you knew he wouldn’t shut up once you got him going. As he went on listing all the things he was gonna do you were getting uncomfortable and disgusted. You also could sense and hear commotion from outside. He obviously didn’t notice. It wasn’t until you could see movement under the door that you changed up your plan.

“You are insane.” you said with disgust. “You really think I would have been with you back then let alone now? We made out once, ONE time seo joon. You really think I would fuck someone like you?” you decided to get him riled up which would get him off guard.

You could see the fiery expression in his eyes at your words.

“Honestly, you aren’t even man enough for this. You are nothing but a scared little boy who is just pissed that the one thing he wants isn’t his and doesn’t want him back.” you fake pouted.

“Keep it up,” he said lowly pointing a finger at you.

“Or what? You are nothing compared to my men. Unlike you, they know the difference between protectiveness and borderline crazy.” you knew it was working, you could see the feet stop in front of the door.

“THAT'S IT!” he yelled before charging at you.

He was stopped in his tracks when the door was bussed down.

“WHAT TH-” he was cut off by a gunshot.

You screamed. You looked up seeing Yeonjun. He was one of Hoseok’s best men.

“IS HE DEAD.” you shouted, looking at him passed out on the floor.

“He’s still alive, just wounded.” Beomgyu said, checking his pulse.

“Death would be too easy.” Yoongi said walking in.

“YOU'RE HERE!” you jumped into his arms.

He held you tight against him.

“ARE YOU REAL?!” You said, frantically running your hands all over his face.

“Yes we’re real little one.” Jin said coming into the room.

“Get him out of here. I’ll deal with him later.” Hoseok said, coming into view, The others, not too far behind.

“Why would he do this?” You looked down pouting.

“We found files he kept hidden with nothing but pictures of you Miss.” Beomgyu said.

“And a few of the bosses with holes through their heads.” Taehyun said. “Not to mention the nude ones…”

He looked at you with sympathy.

You shook your head.

“I want to see them.” You said, wiping tears off your face.

“..baby..” Joon said, coming towards you.

You put a hand up for him to stop.

“I want to see EVERYTHING. No arguments” You said sternly.

They nodded.

You all began walking out to the SUV’s ready to head home.

“Everything you need is already at the hotel.” Yeonjun said.

“Thank you.” You gave a small smile.

“We’re staying at one of the hotels while everything gets moved into the new house.” Taehyung said.

You nodded.

A new place meant new beginnings, but also much more hidden and higher security.

Arriving at the hotel you walked ahead of them instantly going to your room not wanting to be bothered.

Once in your room you noticed two huge boxes filled with files. You were an hour and a half into the first box barely making a dent. You cried here and there, You couldn’t believe how much he had stalked you. All the trips you went on, all the meetings, you in your restaurant, club. He was everywhere. It wasn’t until you got to the second box that you felt disgusted. The entire second box was nothing but you nude. You cried harder. This man was supposed to be like a brother to you, but he was too good to be true. He was at your wedding for god sake. You all let him in and this is how things ended up. You were sitting there with your head in your hands when your phone went off.

It was Taehyung.

Tae Baby🐾✨

T- are you okay?

T- I can hear you through the walls :(

Y- that doesn’t begin to cover it….

Y- cuddles?

T- omw

You soon heard a knock. You walked over to the door and opened it seeing him made you smile. You hugged him, his scent instantly making you forget everything. You get safe. Though the line of work he does he was definitely one of the softer ones out of the seven but also one the most feared along with Jimin. You stood there for a while before going to lay down.

Tae went to clear the bed taking notice of the photos left out. He covered his mouth, he was hurt and disgusted.

“Let’s just lay down.” You say taking the boxes away.

“How could we let him do this to you?” He whispered.

“We won’t be seeing him anytime soon, he’s done for baby.” You reassured him.

“We could have prevented this.” He said, trying not to cry.

“We didn’t know love,” you rested a hand on his cheek. “No one knew he could do this. Now let’s go to bed.” You kissed him.

He pulled you tight, he didn’t want you out of his sight. He thought he lost you.

As much as any of them didn’t want to admit it, you were their weakness. And it hit them hard thinking you were gone.

As you lay there in the dark, Tae wrapped in your arms you couldn’t help being wide awake. The images of the previous events running through your mind on repeat. The glow of your phone lit up the room. You were curious about who would be texting you at 3am. Eyes squinting you read the name.

Jiminie😚❤️

JM- are you awake?

Y- i am

JM- can I come in?

Y- you can :)

You locked your phone before trying your best to slip out of Taehyung's grasp. You put a pillow between you so he could still have something to hold on to for the time being. You walked to the door just before he knocked.

He smiled as you opened the door. He went to talk but you put a finger to your lips and pointed in the direction of a sleepy Taehyung.

He nodded and closed the door behind him.

He pulled you in close.

“Let’s just lay down.” You whispered, a yawn following.

Laying down in the middle of the two, your back facing Tae who immediately wrapped his body around you making you and Jimin giggle.

You played with eachothers hands neither one speaking. You could feel your eyes getting heavy.

“Sleep my love.” He said. “We’ll be here to protect you.”

He kissed your head and you were soon deep in sleep. You woke up to the sun in your face and tangled in arms and legs. You tried your best to wiggle out but Jimin’s hold on you tightened. You tapped his cheek earning a groan from him.

“I need to pee.” You said struggling to sit up.

“Don’t leave.” Taehyung whined.

“Do you really wanna sleep in a wet bed?” You smirked down at him.

“I am up.” He shot up.

Jimin slowly got up at the sudden movement.

You giggled and shook your head before going to the bathroom.

Walking out you hear the boys on the phone.

“Alright, we’ll pack everything up and head on out.” Tae said into the phone. “Okay bye.”

“What was that about?” You asked.

“Everything is moved into the house.” He smiled.

“We can head over once you are ready.” Jimin said.

It didn’t take long to gather everything. Down at the lobby you only saw one vehicle.

“Where are the others?” You raised a brow.

“They are already there making sure the security is set right.” Jimin said.

Upon arrival they put in a code to open the gates which wasn’t new but the long driveway was. It definitely had its similarities and differences. Walking into the house you could hear Hoseok and Joon giving demands about bodyguards for each of you. You walked in and all eyes were on you.

“Come meet your guard's love.” Joon said.

“I want to choose my own.” You demanded.

They both gave you a look. After the last two you wanted to make sure you were protected at all costs.

“I want Yeonjun and Soobin.” You said. “Don’t fight me on this Hoseok. Them plus Beomgyu have gone above and beyond for our family and I trust them with my life.”

“Okay.” He said.

“I can assure you all will do your absolute best to protect me and my family.” Joon said. “You’re dismissed.”

They stood there just looking at you.

“What?” you said, raising your brows.

“You…” Hoseok said, “amaze me.”

He smiled, running a hand through his hair.

“And here I thought you were too sweet to give out demands.” Jungkook said, smirking.

You stuck your tongue out at him.

“You guys must be rubbing off on me.” you shrugged walking away.

You walked around the house and property, making yourself acquainted with it all. Yeonjun and Soobin not too far behind keeping watch.

You walked to the balcony overlooking the trees, it was beautiful and the sunset added a nice touch.

“We could live here.” you said to yourself. “We could start a family here.”

You were too in thought to realize Soobin was calling you.

“Miss. The bosses need you back at the house, they say it’s time for dinner.” he said.

You nodded leading the way.

[umbralsound-xiv]

Prompt #8 - Tepid

Character: Eir Gangos, 7, Seventh Astral Era

The sound of the sea barely registered to him. Only the gentle rock of the boat as it sailed through the waters gave him any cause to know he was aboard one.

Far from the watchful eyes of other people, Eir had settled beneath deck, with the cargo. Divested of his Garlean uniform; the telling attire rammed into a drawstring bag which he refused to release from his grasp with what few worldly posessions he still had, he sat in something a little more plain.

He ran. That was all he was good at doing. And even then, it wasn’t enough.

Eir hunches at the sound of a door buckling and creaking open. The loud, deep sound was enough to set his heart racing, as his arms clutched at the bag on his lap.

Explosions. Gunfire.

He held his breath. He made no attempt to hide, only pleaded that no one would see him.

“Hey! Marsie, we got a stowaway down here!”

The voice of a woman calls out. She must have been ilms from him. He didn’t notice.

“Hm? Let me look...”

Boots sound on the wooden boards below, before a Midlander dressed in a Bozjan uniform illuminates Eir’s face with a lantern, the Miqo’te who called out before peering at him curiously from the back.

Eir continues to stare flatly forwards. Every breath hitched in his chest, as he fought not to make eye contact.

“...Well, they aren’t an enemy. Look a little roughed up, though. Sehli, can you check them for wounds?”

The Keeper obliges, finding her way around a crate. She holds a hand up with a familiar blue glow, which only causes Eir to flinch away more, tears fighting to stream down his cheeks. But they don’t. He doesn’t make a sound.

“...They ain’t hurt, Marsie. Not on the outside, anyway...”

“They look like a captive. Or a patient. Those are infirmary slacks.”

Marsie leans in a little closer, to lower her voice and speak a little softer.

“...Hey. Can you hear me?”

No response. Eir continues to stare forwards, shaking.

“Can you understand me?”

Again, nothing. The two women look to eachother, at a loss. Marsie reaches for a hand, which only balls tighter on the drawstring sack.

His hands were still covered in blood, dry and flaking from time passed. Most of his features, in fact, were still spattered in crimson, at least where streams of tears had not washed it away. They too, were dried now, flicks of white salt clinging to his cheeks.

“...They ain’t wounded, Marsie. Shook up, i think. I can’t find anything t’suggest they can’t hear us.”

Marsie’s gaze settled on Eir’s own. His eyes, dialated from more than just the darkness, a world of horrors within them. He looked through her, rather than at her.

“...Listen, i don’t know how you got here, but that doesn’t matter. You’re here now. This ship is bound for Eorzea. It’ll be a few suns before we make land, but...”

Eorzea.

Tears finally roll down his cheeks, but no sob accompanies them. His head dips in the faintest of nods, which finally brings something more than concern to Marsie’s features.

“You understand me then... Good.” She smiles, opting to step back a little. “...If you want to go up top with the others, you’re welcome to. But... If you’d rather stay down here...”

He doesn’t respond either way. Limbs as stiff as iron, he simply... Remains.

“...Sehli. Ensure they aren’t missed when dinnertime happens, okay? Last thing they need is an empty stomach. See if we can fix them a spare blanket or something.”

Sehli simply gives a nod, attempting to flash Eir an encouraging smile. But he stares downwards, towards the floor.

A small sigh is give from Marsie, a note of pity held in her throat.

“We’ll leave you to your peace for the moment. But we’ll be back later, alright?” She at least made an effort to sound somewhat comforting, futile though it might have been. “...We’ve an inspection to finish. Let’s keep moving, Sehli.”

The door sounds again not long afterwards, as Eir buckled in on himself again.

And finally, he allows himself to sob.

[aerynwrites]

A/N: This post - which I HIGHLY recommend everyone to see was drawn and shared by @ollovae3​. She draws amazing, fun, accurate, and touching art of all kinds of characters but mostly focusing on the Star Wars universe. Boba has always been a comfort character of mine and Ollo’s OC, Bee (short for Bui'cyare), has been such a fun character to follow and see the relationship that Ollo has created between Bee and Boba. So, after seeing this post with Bee helping post sarlacc Boba with the aftermath of his trauma, I had to reach out to her and see if she would let me expand on this sweet moment in writing. Thankfully she was super kind and amazing to talk to and gave me permission to create this one shot. @ollovae3​ I hope I did Bee and her relationship with Boba justice and I hope you enjoy! I haven’t written non-reader insert fic in years so this was a fun little thing for me to do!

WC: 1.2k

Warnings: mentions of phantom pain, amputated limbs, prosthetics, chronic pain, fluff, hurt/comfort, fluff fluff fluff!!

Boba Fett x Bee (this OC belongs to @ollovae3​!!!)

--------------

Boba enters his quarters just as the sun begins to set on the Dune Sea, where the unrelenting heat of the day finally gives way to the frigid cold of night. As the Mandalorian enters the shared space, Boba’s eyes fall to the figure hunched over the workshop table in the back of the large room. When the door closes immediately behind him, several lamps can be seen lit throughout the room, casting a soft glow against her skin as she focuses on the chestplate sitting in front of her. 

Boba smiles as he takes a few labored steps further into the room, “Repainting your armor again?” he calls as he pulls the heavy helmet from his head. 

A small chuckle escapes the woman’s lips as she turns to look over her shoulder, “I’m just touching it up, is all,” she states, “Believe it or not I don’t actually do a full repaint all that often.”

The man let’s out a small hum in response, opting instead to turn his attention towards his own armor...and the task of taking it all off. As he removes each piece, he works slowly, slightly more than usual, setting it neatly against the wall near their bed. With every movement, his joints creak and throb, feeling an ache in his left leg-- or, at least he thinks he does, where the comfort of his robe beneath the armor, rubs uncomfortably against his scars.

Today is a bad day. And Bee notices immediately.

She turns away from her work, watching with narrowed eyes as her partner struggles with himself. She can see he is trying to hide his pain and discomfort from her, but as he shifts unsteadily to favor his right leg, she automatically knows. 

“Is it the phantom pain again?” she asks, voice soft as she approaches him, bare feet padding gently against the sandstone. 

Boba stills, gripping the last piece of armor in his hand as he avoids her gaze. “I’m fine, cyar’ika, no need to worry about me.”

She purses her lips. While they have broken through most of eachother’s walls in their relationship, Boba was still as stubborn as an old bantha when it came to Bee worrying about him. Looking at him for a moment longer, acutely aware of the waves of discomfort rolling off of him, she sighs. 

“We’re partners, Boba,” she reminds him, “Both on and off the job. It’s kind of my responsibility to worry about you. Just like you worry about me. Even if you won’t admit it.” her voice is teasing with her last words, and Boba can’t stop the smile that tugs at the corners of his lips. 

He gives her a small nod, grunting as he turns to sit on the bed. “I thought the medicine was helping,” he finally admits, one hand falling to where his prosthetic ends, rubbing it absentmindedly. “And my karking knee is acting up again, and my scars…” he looks away from the woman again, eyes falling to the floor instead. “It’s been a long day, is all.”

Bee’s heart aches as she looks at the man she loves. This journey of losing him to the sarlacc, getting him back, and dealing with the aftermath hasn’t been easy on either of them. But, seeing Boba struggle is one of the worst things for her, especially when he tries to keep it to himself. 

She moves to sit beside him on the bed, one hand running gently over his back as she rests her chin on his shoulder. “Well,” she begins slowly, “I found this new form of bacta cream in town the other day when you sent me out to search for parts for the Slave I. Why don’t we try it? You know that hot compresses help with joint pain.”

Boba turns to look at her, their noses brushing as he does so, and he feels his chest swell with adoration at the emotion swimming in her eyes. Without thinking, he reaches up and cups the back of her head, fingers threading through the long locks as he presses his lips to hers. She responds immediately, smiling into the action before pulling away and standing from the bed.

“I take that as a yes?” 

Boba lets out a playful scoff, “Yes,” he breathes, “We’ll try this special lotion of yours.”

Bee smiles down at him, before turning to go fetch the canister from the fresher. However, just before she enters the room, she turns back to the man sitting on the bed. “Take your robes off, and your prosthetic too,” she instructs gently. “I’ll be right back.”

Boba nods and does as instructed before waiting for her return.

------

It doesn't take long before Bee emerges from the fresher, carrying a small metal container and a steaming washcloth. With his prosthetic set off to the side, and propped up next to him, Boba sits on the edge of the bed, wearing only his briefs. Neither of them say much in the next few moments. Instead, she places the container onto the bed beside him, before gently placing the warm cloth over his right knee, just to make sure that it hadn't been too hot. Once he confirms that the temperature was okay, Bee crawls onto the bed behind him, taking the container in her hands before unscrewing the lid. She dips her fingers inside and scoops out a generous amount of the cream, before rubbing her hands together. 

Bee leans over his right shoulder and looks at him, “What’s bothering you the most?” 

Boba quietly reaches up and gestures vaguely to his back, shoulders and chest. In their silent understanding, she lathers the cream over his shoulders and down his back, deciding to start there and getting to the rest later. Her gentle ministrations feel soothing, as she massages the ointment into the scarred skin. 

Boba seems to relax into her touch immediately, his shoulders sagging tiredly, with his posture less rigid, as if the salve had pulled the pain right out of him. Letting out a relieved sigh at the feeling of her hands roaming over him, the salve feels cool and smooth, as she rubs the rest in. It is the most relief he’s felt all day, as if it had almost completely doused the dull fire beneath his skin, to which he smiles at the feeling. 

Once she’s sure the ointment has been absorbed, she reaches down for a bit more, scooting closer to Boba, as she moves to work the salve further into his chest. But just as her hands begin to make contact, a familiar rough hand covers her own, looking up from her work only to be met with the deep pools of brown she had grown so fond of. She tries to ask him if anything is wrong, but is cut off by the gentle squeeze he's given to her hand, all while pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

“Thank you, cyare,” Boba’s voice is a rumbled whisper as he speaks, but Bee hears him and sends him a small smile.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, Boba,” Bee whispers back, giving him a kiss of her own, before turning to look down as she continues her treatment. 

Boba smiles for what feels like the dozenth time, his earlier pain and frustration forgotten, as he relaxes back into her, all while whispering,

 “I love you too.”

[starlightsearches]

can we perhaps get a lil fic where the reader used to be a first order medic who crushed on Hux and used to treat Hux’s injuries when he was thrown around, but has now defected to the resistance. Hux survives TROS with injuries from, well, everything that happened, and is rescued by the resistance and taken to the reader (now the resistance medic) to be cared for. Cue them remembering eachother, and perhaps lots of touch starved hux who isn’t used to being looked after, and the two finally admit their feelings for eachother?? Sorry if this is so long and confusing, you can change or shorten any bits you don’t like or understand 😅💕

Hello friend! Thanks for the request. I’m sorry it took me a thousand years to write it; I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I hope you like it!!

Requests are open ✨

Armitage Hux x Resistance Medic! Reader (GN)

Warnings: Language, an injury, angst and some medical care! (and non-canon compliance if anyone cares about that)

It’s the middle of the night cycle when Poe’s voice crackles through the speaker on your comm link, calling for you. Lurching from your doze, you search for it with both hands, brushing through the piles of records and empty caff cups before you spot the little cylinder.

“I’m here,” you hold the comm close to your mouth, using your other hand to gather up needed supplies, shoving them in your medkit haphazardly. Poe never commed you before a landing—not unless things were bad. You push the panic away, steeling yourself for the worst case scenario. It wouldn’t be the first time you had held a friend’s life in your hands, but it never got easier; you just got stronger. You could be stronger now. “What do you need?”

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing too bad this time,” he clarifies, and you let out a shaky breath, offering your thanks to the universe, “we picked up a, uh, new recruit. He’s pretty banged up, having some trouble walking. I know you can get him feeling better; can you meet us at the landing pad?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you shove the comm in your pocket, brushing a hand over your hair. There’s a soft hint of disquiet resting on your shoulders, a crawling over your skin. Poe wasn’t usually this cryptic. Something big must have happened.

You decide to leave your medkit—since the mystery patient’s injuries don’t sound too serious — walking swiftly through the sleeping base. Your footsteps echo quietly against the stone walls until the sound is swallowed by the night melody of Ajan Kloss. The warm humidity kisses your cheeks when you step out into the open, a gentle breeze pushing it away before it can linger.

The landing pad is dormant, rows and rows of sleeping x-wings keeping you company as you watch for any sign of the Falcon, and soon enough you spot it, tracing its path through the night sky.

You spy Poe's boots at the mouth of the hatch as soon as it opens—Rey must have been piloting, which meant Finn would be in the cockpit with her. Strange. Poe doesn’t usually give up control of the pilot’s seat so easily. A shiver travels up your spine despite the warm night air.

"Hey, sweetheart, can you give us a hand?" he calls out to you, and you're about to tear into him for being so fucking cryptic, stomping up the loading dock. That's when you notice the shiny pair of boots near Poe's, blacker than the night around you.

You can't move anymore, frozen mid-step half-way up the ramp, heartbeat pounding like a warning siren as your eyes trace up the boots, the battered, black uniform and you don’t need to see his face to know that you're not dreaming this time. It’s him.

You keep your eyes on Poe—only on Poe—and your distress must show in your features because the look he gives you in return is full of concern.

"Everything alright, sweetheart?"

You glare at him. "What the hell is this?"

It has to be a joke. Poe is trying to be funny, calling him a recruit instead of a prisoner—but the general isn't handcuffed. He has an arm slung over Poe's shoulder, leaning heavily against the pilot. There’s a tear in his pant leg, white skin stained red with dripping blood, the wound sore and angry. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice the purpling bruises along his cheeks. It’s sad how familiar he seems when he’s broken, more recognizable to you now than he ever was in any holovid.

“See, Hugs, I told you,” Poe clears his throat, voice light with humor but he watches you carefully, a warning in his eyes. You can see enough of the general to know he’s not looking at you, his gaze fixed on some point in the distance, his jaw set.

You cross your arms over your chest, letting your expression settle into a scowl. “Told him what?”

“That you hadn’t forgotten him.”

Damn him. He had asked about you? Your heart softens in spite of yourself, and you turn automatically to Hux, the last shreds of your anger falling from your chest. He still won’t meet your eyes, shoulders slumped, his breathing a little labored and you’re sure it’s not just from the pain.

How many times had you been with him, just like this? Hidden together in forgotten corridors or tucked away in his quarters, the threat of his father looming over you while bandaging wounds and feeling for breaks and ignoring the way his chest heaved underneath your fingers. There was no word for that kind of despair, seeing someone you loved so quietly and so desperately wrecked so completely. It snakes under your skin again, finding it’s old favorite cracks left unhealed; if you’re not careful, it will swallow you whole.

There’s only one thing to do in a situation like this: fix what you can.

You shift your weight from foot to foot before heaving a sigh, “fine, let’s go.”

“Yes! You’re the best; I owe you one, sweetheart, really—” he’s already moving out of the general’s grip, waiting for you to take his place and you look at him in alarm, stepping back.

“Wait,” your adrenaline spikes, and you have to force yourself to take a breath, “you’re not coming with us?“

He shakes his head, “Rey, Finn and I have some, uh, unfinished business. We only stopped by to drop him off.”

Well shit—you take a few steadying breaths, hoping your anxiety doesn’t show too plainly on your face. You hadn’t thought you’d be alone with him so soon. You don’t want to think about why that makes a difference to you.

“Oh, okay.” You nod, force an unconvincing smile to save face. Poe wouldn’t leave if it wasn’t important. He furrows his brow—not yet convinced.

“You’re gonna be alright?”

“Yeah . . . yeah. I’ll—we’ll—be fine.” Your smile tightens at the corners but still doesn’t reach your eyes, and he squeezes your shoulder reassuringly before walking past you to the cock pit.

And now you’re left alone.

“Let’s go,” you slide into place under his arm where he’s propped himself up against the wall, gripping him tightly around his waist, fingers holding him steady at the ribs.

He flinches, pulling away slightly, and you loosen your grip.

“Did I hurt you?”

He shakes his head, eyes examining his reflection in his boots, and you place your hand with a little more care, hoping he can’t feel the way your heartbeat echoes through your body.

It’s been too long since you’ve last touched him; it still makes your heart race.

The trip back to the medbay is slow and arduous. It’s not just the gash in his leg that’s impairing his movement—his ankle is very clearly broken, based on the way he winces whenever it makes even the slightest contact with the ground.

He’s certainly not heavy, by any means, but supporting his weight gets more difficult with each step, and you’d rather not see him sustain any more injuries if your grip on him doesn’t hold.

“We can rest here for a moment.” You stop near a pile of rocks by the entrance to the base, lowering him down into a sitting position before finally taking the chance to catch your breath.

It's a dead night, a still one. Any breeze you'd felt earlier had faded long ago, and the air sits heavy on your skin and heavier in your lungs.

The general doesn't seem to mind, taking long deep breaths. If it weren't for his furrowed brow, you might believe he was asleep.

“How did you know I’d be here,” you whisper, and when he looks at you, there's hurt in his eyes.

“The Order always keeps track of their defectors—especially when they run away to join the Resistance.” His tone is bitter and biting, and it hurts you more than you like.

“I didn’t run away to join the Resistance," you respond, trying to tamp down a sneer, angry at yourself. For letting him get to you so easily, for caring so much about what he thinks.

For missing him every day since the last.

Still, it was true, what you said. When you left, you only wanted to get away from the Order—it didn’t matter where.

The Resistance was the only place you were welcomed.

You had wanted it to feel like home, and parts of it did—eating late dinners with Poe in his quarters, watching over your patients, celebrating with the rest of them after every success, the same belief that they had for the cause beginning to burn in your chest.

But something was missing, in every one of those moments. And now that he's here, you wonder if the space you'd left empty for him is too large to be filled.

"Did you—" he shifts, groans, and your veins flood with anticipation, hanging on to some foolish idea of what he might say next, "did you ever . . . think of me?"

He looks at you with half-lidded eyes, surprisingly earnest; the pain must have gone to his head.

"We should get you to the medbay," you move again, no longer comfortable with staying still, "I'll go find you something to lean on while you walk, I'll be right back—"

His fingers wrap firmly around your wrist, pulling you back with surprising determination.

"I thought of you," he says, and you're looking in his eyes, so dark they're almost black in the low light, "every cycle since the last, and every cycle before that."

Your breathing grows shallow as he fits his hand against your waist, without pulling you closer or pushing you away.

"If you want me to leave, after . . . when it's all over, I'll do it. But I—"

He jumps when you press your lips to his, shaking like he's scared, but he leans into you as best he can.

"Neither of us are leaving again," you demand, and you think you might feel the ghost of a smile against your jaw, feel the slight grip of his fingers at your waist, "not if I can help it."

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