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"darry became the adult when he started to pay bills, when he went to pony's parent teacher conference, when he-"

no. he became the adult that night.

that night when he was asked to go and identify the bodies. that night when he left alone in his truck. that night when he asked Dally to watch pony and soda, as well as everyone else, while he was away. that night when he drove to the scene, viewing the wreckage and whatever remained. that night when he picked at the broken window glass from the family car, causing his to bleed from his palm. that night when he drove to the station to confirm those were his parents. that night when he got back in his truck and started the drive home. that night when he stopped midway, unable to see through his tears. that night when he parked the truck in the front of their house, wiping whatever tears he had left. that night when he walked into their living room, looking at pony and soda, asleep on the couch, both with tear stained faces. that night when he thanked Dally for staying with them. that night when he said, "I've got it from here."

that night.

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One time Darry hit Ponyboy with his truck as he was backing out of the driveway.

It was really early, so he was still half-awake and just not paying attention and then boom. He hits something.

He was going slow, so Ponyboy was fine. He just got knocked over and skinned his knee and elbow.

Darry felt really bad about it and brought him home some ice cream that night to say sorry, so Ponyboy basically had to forgive him.

Despite that, the gang will never let him live it down. Every time Darry drives with one of them in the truck they'll go, "Make sure you don't run over Ponyboy, AGAIN.”

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A collection of my favorite SE Hinton Outsiders tweets:

BONUS: the multitude of tweets correcting ppl that sodapops real name is just soda. pony was "exaggerating" when he made the birth certificate comment to cherry.

(rusty-james is 14 mind you 😭)

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I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MRS. CURTIS IS NAMED KAREN AFTER CALLING HER MARY IN MY FIC (I couldn’t find her name 😭)

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Objectively speaking, the fanfic I’m reading is not good, but my goodness, it’s made my afternoon that much more enjoyable

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I want to be friends with people from the Outsiders fandom. And people who really like Darry, for who he is and not because he's the helpful guy who takes care of his brothers. Come on guys,Darry is an amazing character.

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After I finish, call your mom I’ve been thinking about a story for a long time that would be a cowboys/RDR AU for the outsiders buttt i’m not sure if I should do it or not 

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All time favorite back to back comments

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Yesterday there was a guy that was probably on some drugs just spread out on the ground while I was driving and I panicked and almost swerved the car TOWARDS him and my sister had to grab the wheel and scream at me to break which feels very Pony and Darry core 🙂‍↕️

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Excerpt for Chapter 8 of Call your Mom

“The guilt gnawed at Ponyboy, an ache deep in his chest that wouldn’t let go. He was the one who had scared them, the one who had almost left them behind. How could he let that go?

“I didn’t mean for any of this,” he said, the words slipping out before he could stop them.

Darry’s hand stilled, and for a moment, there was silence.

“I didn’t mean to…” Ponyboy’s voice caught in his throat, and he swallowed hard. “To make everything worse. For you. For Soda.”

Darry shifted under him, propping himself up slightly so he could look down at his brother. There was something raw in his eyes, something that made Ponyboy’s chest tighten.

“You didn’t make anything worse,” Darry said slowly, deliberately. “You’re my kid brother, and I’m not losing you. Not now. Not ever.”

Ponyboy’s eyes burned with tears, but he didn’t let them fall. He felt like a little kid again, crawling into his big brother’s bed after a bad dream, needing to feel safe. He hadn’t felt safe in a long time. But here, with Darry’s arms around him, it was almost like before.

“Will it get better?” Ponyboy whispered, his voice barely audible.

Darry was quiet for a long moment, his hand resting on the back of Ponyboy’s neck, a solid, comforting weight. “I don’t know,” he said honestly, his voice thick. “I hope so. I really do, little buddy.”

Ponyboy pressed his face into Darry’s chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat under his cheek and nodded once. They laid there in the quiet, the weight of their words hanging in the air between them. It wasn’t perfect, and it didn’t fix everything. But it was enough for now. Darry’s arms around him, the steady sound of his breathing, the warmth of his body—it was enough to make Ponyboy feel like he wasn’t completely lost.”

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Excerpt for chapter 6 of Call your mom

By the time the credits rolled, Ponyboy hadn’t absorbed half of the movie, his mind tangled up in a mess of memories and worries he couldn’t shake. He stood up slowly, wiping his palms on his jeans as he shuffled out with the rest of the crowd. The sun was still bright when he stepped outside, the warmth hitting him like a slap.

He hadn’t realized how much time had passed.

As he walked, his thoughts lingered on the heavy weight of Darry’s words, on the fights they’d had, the expectations neither of them knew how to talk about. Ponyboy’s heartbeat quickened as he rounded a corner, moving deeper into the nicer neighborhoods. The air felt thick, and the growing sense of unease settled back over him like a heavy blanket.

He finally reached closer to his side of town, sighing in relief as the streets got familiar and the restaurants held memories in his mind. But that didn’t help much because that’s when he heard the sound of a car rolling up.

Faint, but unmistakable. His pulse spiked.

Ponyboy glanced over his shoulder, the sound of distant voices growing closer. He could feel the panic starting to bubble up in his chest.

It was happening again.

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Excerpt for chapter 5 of Call Your Mom

“Johnny let out a quiet laugh, barely enough for anyone else to catch, but Ponyboy noticed. It wasn’t something he heard often—Johnny being at ease, even in the middle of all this. Hearing it made some of the tension Ponyboy had been carrying start to melt away.

“Lookin’ a little green there Dal, you sure you don’t want me to hold your hair back?” Ponyboy said, the words slipping out before he could stop them. For a moment, he hesitated, realizing he might have been intruding on something. He wasn’t Johnny, after all—Dally could pop him if he felt like it.

Johnny and Dally both turned to him, caught off guard. Johnny’s brow lifted just a little, while Dally’s smirk deepened. For a second, Ponyboy thought maybe he’d gone too far, but Johnny gave Dally a light nudge with his elbow, like he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

“Well, well, look who’s got jokes now.” Dally muttered, staring at Ponyboy with mock seriousness before shaking his head, the faintest grin tugging at his lips. “Brats—the both of yous.”

Ponyboy ducked his head, feeling a warmth that wasn’t from the whiskey or the night air. While Johnny stilifed a laugh, ducking Dally who tried to drunkenly swipe at him. Ponyboy was just glad Dally wasn’t pissed, even if that might’ve been because of the alcohol. Johnny grinned back at him, like he’d been waiting for Ponyboy to let loose.

“You’ve been hanging out with Two-Bit too much,” he said, his voice soft, but the amusement clear.

Ponyboy shrugged, feeling lighter than he had all night. It wasn’t much—just a joke between them—but it meant something. For once, the weight of the day didn’t feel so heavy, and the three of them stood there, side by side on the porch, with the sound of muffled music and laughter drifting out from inside.

Dally glanced between them, his eyes still hazy from the booze, but there was something else there too—something softer. Maybe it was the alcohol loosening him up, or maybe it was the way Johnny was standing there, more relaxed than he’d been in a long while. In the whole year, really.

Whatever it was, Dally let himself grin a little wider, almost like he was glad to see them like this. Not so guarded.

Not so damn scared all the time.”



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I want to do this in three separate arcs: June, July, and August.

Each arc will have a set of chapters corresponding to it:

The June arc has 6 chapters

The July arc has 8 chapters

And the August arc has 4 chapters

I’m debating on how I will release these, weather it will be like COTC and be a chapter each week or if I will do a arc dump of all the chapters for the arc and then start on the next set. It will be more chapters at once, but it will take a little longer to get new updates! However, each arc has its own tension and build up, the July arc will be the most intense while the other two are build up and resolution.

This is my second big fic I’m working on so I’m open to any suggestions!!

An excerpt from my next fic that I’m working on!

“So,” Sodapop started, his voice lighter than it had been in days. He stood up to place the plates in the sink, still in his pajamas since it was the weekend. “The guys were thinking of heading over to Buck’s in a few nights, and they thought you should come too.”

Ponyboy blinked, feeling the faintest flicker of surprise. Buck’s? He glanced up to see Sodapop and Darry exchange a quick, conspiratorial glance. We, he realized. They had planned this together.

“They want to celebrate you getting in,” Sodapop continued, turning back toward him with a hopeful smile. “Plus, me and Dar’ll be there too, so it won’t get too crazy.”

Soda’s tone was casual, but there was something more behind it, something almost pleading in the way he looked at Ponyboy. There was a glint in his brother’s eyes—one that Ponyboy hadn’t seen in a long time—and it made his stomach churn with guilt. He knew why that light had faded in the first place, knew that he was the one who had dimmed it.

A few years ago, the idea of them suggesting Ponyboy go anywhere near Buck’s would’ve been laughable. There was no way Darry would’ve let him even set foot near that place, much less the idea of a party. Anytime Ponyboy wanted to go out, he practically had to beg Darry for permission. But now?

Now, Darry would give anything for Ponyboy to leave the house once in a while. To do something—anything—that felt normal. Hell, his brothers would probably be relieved if he just wanted to have a drink or let loose, something to prove he wasn’t so messed up.

Normal. That’s all they wanted. For things to go back to the way they were before.

here’s the story summary!! I’m currently working on getting a few chapters written now before posting it:

Ponyboy Curtis is not doing well.

He has always been quiet, but ever since it happened, he’s withdrawn even more. His brothers are doing their best, but sometimes it feels like they’re watching him slip away. With college on the horizon and the weight of unspoken fears hanging between them, Ponyboy struggles to hold on to the pieces of his life. His friends are there, trying to help, but healing isn't something Ponyboy knows how to do.

But he’s gonna try his damn hardest to figure it out. 

[anhedoniamayhavelived]

An excerpt from my next fic that I’m working on!

“So,” Sodapop started, his voice lighter than it had been in days. He stood up to place the plates in the sink, still in his pajamas since it was the weekend. “The guys were thinking of heading over to Buck’s in a few nights, and they thought you should come too.”

Ponyboy blinked, feeling the faintest flicker of surprise. Buck’s? He glanced up to see Sodapop and Darry exchange a quick, conspiratorial glance. We, he realized. They had planned this together.

“They want to celebrate you getting in,” Sodapop continued, turning back toward him with a hopeful smile. “Plus, me and Dar’ll be there too, so it won’t get too crazy.”

Soda’s tone was casual, but there was something more behind it, something almost pleading in the way he looked at Ponyboy. There was a glint in his brother’s eyes—one that Ponyboy hadn’t seen in a long time—and it made his stomach churn with guilt. He knew why that light had faded in the first place, knew that he was the one who had dimmed it.

A few years ago, the idea of them suggesting Ponyboy go anywhere near Buck’s would’ve been laughable. There was no way Darry would’ve let him even set foot near that place, much less the idea of a party. Anytime Ponyboy wanted to go out, he practically had to beg Darry for permission. But now?

Now, Darry would give anything for Ponyboy to leave the house once in a while. To do something—anything—that felt normal. Hell, his brothers would probably be relieved if he just wanted to have a drink or let loose, something to prove he wasn’t so messed up.

Normal. That’s all they wanted. For things to go back to the way they were before.

here’s the story summary!! I’m currently working on getting a few chapters written now before posting it:

Ponyboy Curtis is not doing well.

He has always been quiet, but ever since it happened, he’s withdrawn even more. His brothers are doing their best, but sometimes it feels like they’re watching him slip away. With college on the horizon and the weight of unspoken fears hanging between them, Ponyboy struggles to hold on to the pieces of his life. His friends are there, trying to help, but healing isn't something Ponyboy knows how to do.

But he’s gonna try his damn hardest to figure it out. 

[anhedoniamayhavelived]

I’m so tired I’ve tried posting this a million times

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“You let Curly Shepherd pierce your ear?” Two-Bit wheezed, slapping his knee as he practically rolled onto the floor, his laughter filling the Curtis living room. “Darry’s gonna kill you when he sees it!”

Ponyboy scowled, clutching his throbbing ear. “Oh, for the love of God, will you just help me,” he muttered, cheeks burning with embarrassment. He tugged his collar up to hide the red, swollen mess from view.

Steve bent in front of him, shaking his head, his grin smug. “Don’t think you get it, man,” he said, still staring at the ear like it was a ticking time bomb. “He’s really gonna kill you this time.”

Two-Bit wheezed harder, wiping his eyes. “A bad needle? Curly? You couldn’t have at least asked someone halfway decent?”

Ponyboy winced as Steve pulled against his ear to look at it. “I wasn’t thinking, okay? I just—” He broke off, looking down, unable to meet their eyes. “I just wanted to do something… different.”

Two-Bit and Steve looked between eachother with a look that Ponyboy found people giving him too much.

“Yeah, well, next time, don’t pick the guy who sharpens knives on a curb.” Steve replied his voice not unkind as he grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a rag, shaking his head as he dampened it.

Ponyboy braced himself as Steve pressed the rag to his ear, hissing at the sharp sting. He felt the burn shoot through his head like fire, his whole jaw tightening up. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Oh, he’s feelin’ that now,” Two-Bit chimed in, grinning as he leaned against the wall. “Guess the ‘I’ll feel different’ plan didn’t include feeling like your head’s gonna explode, huh?”

Ponyboy let out a tight laugh, still wincing as Steve dabbed at the infection. “Yeah, no kidding.” His heartbeat pounded in his ear, and it felt like every nerve was lighting up at once, the ache spreading down his neck.

Two-Bit voice was more sympathetic this time, though still teasing. “Gotta admit, it’s impressive. I’ve seen some bad piercings, but this might be the worst.” He paused for a second, watching as Steve wiped more gently. “Seriously though, Pony, this is infected bad—should’ve told someone.”

“Didn’t wanna hear all this,” Ponyboy grumbled, biting his lip as the alcohol stung like fire. The pain had dulled a little, but it still radiated through his skull, pulsing with every heartbeat.

Two-Bit crouched next to him, smirking. “Well, you were gonna hear it anyway. Lucky for you, we’re the best doctors this side of Tulsa.” He reached out, gently flicking the other side of Pony’s head. “Or, y’know, something like that.”

Ponyboy shot him a glare, though it was half-hearted. “Yeah, real lucky.”

“Hey, at least we’re getting you fixed up before Soda gets home,” Steve said, the corners of his mouth tugging up as he cleaned the last bit of the mess. “He’d probably die laughing before he even helped you.”

Ponyboy flinched again, though this time it wasn’t just from the pain. “Let’s just keep this between us.”

Two-Bit grinned wide. “We’ll see.”

As the last of the sharp stinging eased, Ponyboy relaxed a little, though his ear was still throbbing, each pulse reminding him of how stupid this whole thing had been. The pain wasn’t going away anytime soon, but at least they’d helped enough to keep it from getting worse.

Two-Bit nudged him lightly, his voice softer now. “It’ll stop hurting soon, kid. Just don’t go poking any more holes in yourself, alright?”

He wasn’t just talking about the piercing.

Pony sighed, offering a weak smile. “Yeah, I got it.”

Steve packed up the alcohol and the rag, standing up. “Good. Because if Darry sees this and finds out what you did? You’ll be feeling a whole lot more than that ear.”

“Yeah whatever,” Ponyboy let out a short laugh despite the pain, leaning back against the couch. “…Thank you.”

They both waved him off, sitting down on the floor to pull out a hand of poker.

“Seriously though? Curly Shepard was the best—“

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I love being human.

I’m human because I cry at movies, even though the characters don’t even exist. I’m human because I love getting hugs—even from total strangers. I’m human because I love strawberries, but especially the ones grown at farms in my home town. I’m human because I read a book one time in seventh grade, and it utterly changed my life. I’m human because one time I watched my dad get out of the car and go help somebody in a car accident and that’s what made me want to be a nurse. I’m human because I love writing and the only reason I got into writing was because of my sixth grade teacher. I��m human because I love the smell of apples and honey only because that’s what my mom and my grandma burn in their houses. I’m human because I love baked goods, but I can’t bake so my grandma and best friend make them for me. I’m human because I love my best friend. I’m human because I I feel pain. I’m human because everyone who has ever loved me has changed my life someway. I’m human because everyone who has ever hated me has changed my life in someway. I’m human because I love, I hate, and I feel everything as strongly as I should. 

I love being human because being human means being me.