#but towards the end I got fed up and just told people that I hate both lmao

[plaguedocboi]

Every time I go in a coffee shop that has labeled tip jars that say “tip to vote!” I remember earlier this year when I worked at a coffee shop and my coworkers labeled the tip jars “DC” and “Marvel” and I had to spend a month telling customers that asked which I liked that I think they both suck

[kinardsevan]

as we all know, i haven't really been doing @bucktommypositivityweek because I've been busy working on other stuff. but I still wanted to contribute, and I was feeling inspired reading people's additions for 'outsider perspective'. this was also a character study for one of my OCs.

so have this: -

colors

Wilder Gray was born to be an artist. Color was quite literally in his name. He was also gay fresh out of the womb, and god bless the fact that his parents had accepted that from day one, because otherwise he never would’ve stood a chance. 

Life had been easy for him, mostly. He came from enough money that his parents sent him to semi-private school for he better part of his upbringing. When they’d discovered his ability to draw and paint towards the end of elementary school, he’d been promptly enrolled in the Los Angeles Academy of Arts and Enterprise for intermediate school. Growing up in that kind of environment had fed his need to create as well as be surrounded by other creatives. It also fostered a very accepting community where he never felt out of place or like he couldn’t be exactly who he was. By the time he was in his twenties, enrolled in UCLA, he’d had several serious relationships. 

He met one Thomas Kinard at the age of twenty-five, fresh out of his graduate program with an MFA in interdisciplinary arts. Tommy was just about to turn thirty-three and had looked extremely uncomfortable in his skin as he sat down at a gay bar in WeHo. It would be weeks before Tommy would admit to him that he was freshly out of the closet, and that up until a few months before, the most he’d ever engaged with the community was through one night stands and the boy he had shared a secret relationship with during his five and a half years in the military. 

To be clear, Tommy had rocked Wilder’s universe on its axis. When they first met, Wilder wanted nothing to do with a relationship with him. he knew Tommy was still figuring out his footing with his sexuality now that he was out, and as much as Wilder was willing to be a friend through that process, he didn’t want to play the part of the boyfriend who helped Tommy experiment and get educated. 

Which isn’t to say it panned out the greatest for him. He watched Tommy engage in multiple relationships over the next three years, and he was jealous as fuck every single time. He hated Mike, the forty-five-year-old man that Tommy met a few weeks after Wilder had met him. That relationship lasted four months. Mike was a domineering dick who did a damn good job at pretending to be sunshine. Wilder wondered if Tommy realized he didn’t have to date twice-divorced men in order to figure out what he liked, but it also wasn’t his place to speak. At least, until he and Tommy met up on a random Tuesday, three and a half months into the relationship, and Tommy tried to lie to him about bruises on his wrists. Wilder was a lot of things, but stupid was not one of them. He’d told Tommy that night that he was capable of doing so much better, that he deserved better. When Tommy had questioned him—over half a dozen beers—Wilder had kissed him about it. 

Granted, that didn’t lead anywhere, other than far enough for Tommy to be confident enough to end the relationship with Mike. They were both single for a few months after that, but whatever Tommy was waiting on, Wilder wasn’t sure. He was still firm on his position about not wanting to be the person to help Tommy gain experience. 

After Mike came Leo. Leo came with a million and a half red flags. Leo came with love bombs and grand gestures, with one thing on his mind. As soon as he got Tommy into bed, he was gone. Tommy never really talked about how everything with Leo panned out, but Wilder suspected that it wouldn’t have gone much further anyway. Another night over too many beers, all Tommy would say about Leo was that he was ‘rough. Way too rough.’ 

Either way, he bounced back. Ezra came along only a few weeks after Leo, and Ezra was so, so sweet. And so naïve. He was younger than Wilder, and clearly still trying to figure things out about himself. However, Ezra also seemed to have stars in his eyes about how things were going to work out, while Tommy had lost most of his rosy view on his sexuality. It wasn’t to say that they didn’t have fun together. But Wilder could tell that Ezra thought Tommy would settle down with him, while Tommy just wanted to work out the kinks he’d gone through in recent months and figure himself out more. 

Ezra lasted two months. 

Charlie showed up in the middle of October, almost as though he’d been swept through along with the Santa Ana winds. He put a smile on Tommy’s face that Wilder was positive he’d never seen on his friend. Charlie was the boy from Iraq. He was also Tommy’s first real love. Wilder liked Charlie. 

Wilder didn’t love Charlie. 

It wasn’t that Charlie was a bad guy. Charlie clearly cared about Tommy a fair amount, although it was questionable whether he actually liked Tommy as much as Tommy loved him. The deeper problem was that Tommy looked at Charlie the way Ezra had looked at Tommy. Except, Charlie had done the  ‘make my parents happy’ way. He had been married, was now divorced, and still half-living in the closet. Wilder had warned Tommy against doing that with him, warned him that it would only lead to him getting hurt, but Tommy swore to him that Charlie had promised. Promised one day soon they would be out together. Promised they’d get to tell people the truth. Promised the kids would know him as more than just Charlie’s army buddy. 

Those promises went on for a year before Tommy smashed what was left of his rose-colored glasses. Wilder was there with the alcohol and the metaphorical stitches to piece Tommy back together. 

The thing was, by that time, he’d promised himself that he and Tommy were better as friends. That they’d built something strong enough to withstand the passing glances and the hugs that lasted a minute too long, the pauses when they pullled away where he could feel Tommy’s breath on his lips and it stirred something inside him that he hadn’t felt since he was sixteen and dating Danny Coston, sneaking kisses behind the fieldhouse while they were skipping out on PE. 

He’d loved Tommy too much by then. As his friend. 

As more than his friend. 

And then one night, over beers and a pizza, Tommy was telling him this story about a rescue that Wilder still thinks was absolutely fucking stupid, rocking a helicopter between cliffsides to rescue a group of teenagers who thought rock climbing without gear in Griffith Park sounded like a fun idea. By some miracle, everyone had been saved, Tommy hadn’t crashed the helicopter, and it had made the news. What’s more, Wilder had been the first person Tommy had wanted to tell him about his suicidal save. 

Wilder had to kiss him about it, of course. That shattered whatever falsehoods Wilder was letting himself live in at that point in relation to their relationship. Tommy wasn’t experimenting anymore, and he didn’t need an education. He was out, he wasn’t interested in keeping secrets, and he wanted something real.

. . . 

The first year was amazing. Granted, WIlder never fell in love with the danger of Tommy’s job, but that was fine. He was in love with everything else about Tommy. He loved his personality, his face, his body, his hopes, his dreams, his willingness to be Wilder’s model on any occasion…he just loved Tommy. 

Year two wasn’t as easy. They were settled, talking about living together but not quite pulling the trigger. Wilder’s career was doing really well. He’d taken part in four exhibitions in less than a calendar year and there was a lot of attention coming his way. There were offers coming out of Chicago and New York for residencies and some teaching opportunities. 

There was a bad fire at a compound. Tommy got second-degree burns and had pretty bad smoke inhalation. Wilder hoped that after that, maybe he’d rethink his career. 

Things got worse. 

Still, somehow they found their way through. As they came upon their second anniversary, it felt like they were reaching the other side. There were still offers on the table for Wilder, and he had floated a few of them to Tommy. In return, Tommy had fully supported the suggestion for a three-month residency in Chicago. He would remain in L.A. during Wilder’s time away, but it was good for Wilder, and as Tommy had said to him at the time, ‘what’s good for you is good for us’. 

Except, the offers didn’t stop at Chicago. He was weeks away from finishing his residency when he was offered the opportunity to take part in an exhibition in Texas. What was supposed to be a two week trip there turned into four months, and their anniversary came and went with little more than phone calls and the occasional flight out for a twenty-four or forty-eight hours together. 

After Texas was Savannah, Georgia. Then Charlotte, North Carolina. Then a month-long trip to Florida with a few guest lectures at FSU. Eight months into what should’ve been the third year of their relationship, Wilder hadn’t seen Tommy more than fifteen days total. And the thing was, the love was still there.

But they weren’t in love anymore, and he knew they both felt it. Tommy loved his job just as much as Wilder loved his. Neither of them were going to give up their careers, and they weren’t going to ask the other to, either. 

It ended on a facetime call, just a few weeks before their anniversary. There were tears shed, although it was more a sadness at the loss of what they’d hoped they could be than it was at the actual relationship. There were ‘I love you’s. And then there was silence. 

. . .

The first time Wilder meets Evan Buckley, he’s barely been back in Los Angeles for a week. He’s set to start a residency for the summer and then take on a teaching position at UCLA in the fall. He’s supposed to be meeting some friends for dinner when the blonde man bumps into him at the bar, stammering out an apology with full hands as they turn to face each other. 

Evan looks at him with a weird expression that Wilder doesn’t fully understand at the time. He dismisses the bump as equally his own fault and then turns his attention back toward the bar. 

“Hi, baby. Sorry, I’m late.” 

That voice feels like someone just poured a shot of Jack Tennessee Honey down Wilder’s throat. All the heat with none of the burn. As he turns back around, he spots a familiar head of brown curls just as the blonde tilts up toward him, and then Tommy is kissing the other man. Wilder inhales a sharp breath. 

The thing is, it’s been more than a year. It’s been even longer since he and Tommy were something real. But something about seeing him kiss another man still stirs something in Wilder’s chest. 

Still, he decides it’s not his place. Not here, and not tonight. He steps away from the bar and moves down some ten feet, around the corner of it and in between a few people. 

. . . 

“So were you going to call me?” 

It’s been three days. WIlder is standing in the middle of an aisle at Blick, trying to decide between Golden and WIndsor Newton acrylics when he looks up. Tommy has a basket in his hand, half-full with small canvases and a fair amount of Liquitex. 

“Hey, T,” he greets cordially. Tommy smiles at him and then steps forward, offering him a side hug. Wilder accepts it, tucking his chin over Tommy’s shoulder. “Good to see you.” 

“I had to call your mom,” Tommy states when they part. 

“I was gonna call at some point,” WIlder states a bit sheepishly. 

“You always go with Windsor,” Tommy comments, as though he can hear the argument in Wilder’s head. “Forget Golden.” 

Wilder chuckles. “Sure.” He’s quiet for a moment, reaches out for a tube of Windsor Newton. As he stares at the unbleached titanium shade in his hand, he contemplates. He tilts his head after a moment, glances over at Tommy. “So. The new guy.” 

There’s a glint of something in Tommy’s eye that Wilder hasn’t seen in at least five years. Something he saw once, after their first drunken kiss. 

“His name is Evan,” Tommy replies. He lets out a soft sgh. “He thought I was introducing you two. Had a hell of a time explaining to him that I didn’t even know you were back.” 

Wilder nods. That familiar twinge of jealousy throbs in his chest, under his heart. 

“You sticking around,” Tommy asks him after another minute of silence. Wilder glances back up at him. 

“Got a residency downtown,” he replies. “And then UCLA in the fall. So I’ll be here, yeah.” 

Tommy nods. “We should get dinner. Evan wants to meet you properly.” 

“Sure,” Wilder says again. What else is he supposed to say? They’re not together anymore. 

“Give me call when you’re more settled. We’ll plan something,” Tommy says with a pat to Wilder’s shoulder. He’s walking backwards then, heading back down the aisle. He shakes a finger in Wilder’s direction. “Good to see you, Wy.” 

. . . 

The second time Wilder meets Evan Buckley, they’re in another bar. He’s been in the studio almost exclusively for the better part of a week and had been dragged out by a friend with the promise of carbs—his fridge might’ve been mostly empty, other than juice boxes and pepperoni slices—but carbs is apparently at a bar that doubles as a pizzeria. 

He’s not following them, he swears. But he’s been waiting for ten minutes on his pizza while his friend is on the phone with his girlfriend when Tommy strolls up to the bar with his boyfriend—Evan? Tommy has his arm wrapped around the younger man’s hip, head tilted in and listening as Evan prattles on with very animated expressions. Wilder isn’t even sure what he’s on about, but regardless, Tommy is nodding along, clearly invested. 

When they make it up to the bar, some five feet away, Tommy’s arm wraps around Evan, boxing him in. There’s a grin on his face and Wilder notices as Evan leans back into Tommy’s body, turns his head and says something into his ear. Tommy laughs, loud enough that the tinkling sound of it carries in Wilder’s direction. 

“Four for Buckley,” one of the barbacks calls out. Evan raises his hand and the man steps over with boxes of pizza. At the same time, someone from the kitchen yells out, “Veggie with mushrooms, light alfredo up.” 

Tommy lifts his head at that, leans back from Evan just enough to look around the bar before his eyes eventually fall on Wilder. He smiles at him. A few seconds later, he’s up next to Evan’s ear, and then Evan glances over in Wilder’s direction. There’s a half-second pause where Evan seems to be taking him in before he smiles affiliatively at Wilder. Evan picks up the pizzas and Tommy switches the arm he has around Evan’s waist as they stride over. As they reach him, another person is settling Wilder’s pizza in front of him. 

“So do you just hang out at all the best bars in LA,” Evan asks when they reach him. 

“Honestly, I’m usually locked up in the studio,” Wilder replies. He glances in Tommy’s direction, but Tommy is still looking at Evan. Still that look in his eyes. Evan moves a hand from under the pizzas and extends it. 

“Evan Buckley. Most people call me Buck though,” he states. Wilder extends a hand to him, shaking it. 

“Wilder Gray.” 

Evan nods. “I know.” There’s an expression on his face that’s caught somewhere between a multitude of emotions. A look that falls somewhere between curiosity, understanding, and skepticism. Wilder looks him over, spots the emblem on his t-shirt. 

“You’re a firefighter,” he muses. 

“And you’re a multidisciplinary artist,” Evan replies. 

Wilder nods. It’s interesting. It’s like they’re meeting for the most cordial duel of all time, but neither of them have brought guns; just clipboards and pens. 

A phone rings, and Tommy glances away from them. A moment later, he looks back up. 

“Hey baby that’s Eddie and Chris wondering why we haven’t brought dinner back,” he states, giving Evan’s hip a light squeeze. Evan nods, although his gaze lingers on Wilder for a few seconds longer. He turns then, leans into Tommy. Wilder watches as whatever tension is left in Tommy’s body seeps away. 

God damn. He really wanted to not be able to like Evan Buckley. 

“See you around,” Evan states after a moment, glancing in Wilder’s direction again. Wilder nods at him. As Evan and Tommy walk away, Tommy’s hand still on Evan’s hip, his friend strides back across the room 

“Hey, what’d I miss?” 

. . .

A few weeks go by without any run-ins. Maybe it’s because Evan and Tommy find other places to hang out. Maybe it’s because Wilder basically lives in his studio (it’s definitely not that). Maybe it’s because of wildfire season (it might be that). Either way,  Wilder doesn’t see much social interaction beyond his friends occasionally dropping by the studio and his parents stopping in to drag him into the sunlight. Once or twice he opens grindr, but nothing promising pans out. 

It’s mid August when Wilder spots them out together again. Another bar, another set of drinks. He’s been flirting with a guy who introduced himself three minutes after Wilder walked through the door when he spots Evan on the other side of the room. He almost thinks about going over to say something, but there’s a look in his expression. 

Something that looks curiously like defeat. Tommy is standing next to him—Wilder could place that mop of hair anywhere—talking into his ear much like he was that first night all those weeks back. He tries to look away enough to not make Evan look in his direction, realize he’s being stared at. But he sees the way Tommy’s talking calms Evan, the way he leans into him. The way their communication wipes out the defeat in Evan’s expression and replaces it with a small smile. And then a laugh. And then before long, Tommy has Evan half tipped on the barstool, their noses and foreheads pressed together as Evan straight-up giggles. Tommy is laughing with him, and fuck. 

Wilder really wanted to not like Evan Buckley. 

But Evan Buckley isn’t Mike, holding Tommy hard enough to hurt him (although the way he fists Tommy’s t-shirt before he kisses him makes a different kind of jealousy stir in Wilder, like these two probably throw each other around a bedroom with ease, and he wants to see that). Evan Buckley clearly isn’t Leo, just looking to fuck Tommy hard into a mattress and leave him behind. 

Evan Buckley might be a little like Ezra, and Wilder isn’t sure how he clocks that. Except, there’s an ease about him that Ezra never had. Evan Buckley clearly wasn’t looking for an education. The love in his eyes was obvious to the entire damn bar, whether they wanted to know or not. 

Evan Buckley definitely was not Charlie. He was openly making out with Tommy in public, hands all over the man’s body in a way that Wilder could tell was at least partially to tell the world ‘this is mine, and only mine’. 

. . .

It’s an early morning in September when they run into each other. Wilder is definitely not prepared for an eight AM class, and he’s questioning why he agreed to take this particular one on, but there’s no option to back out now. 

He stands inside the café wearily, waiting on his order, when the door chimes with ringing bells and he glances up. Evan Buckley. 

The blonde is in a hoodie Wilder recognizes as Tommy’s. The Harbor Station seal is on the back of it with his last name printed across the bottom. Evan yawns as he walks up to the counter and grabs two coffees. Knowing the kind of schedules they work, it seems Evan is heading home while Wilder is just starting his day. 

Except, Evan stops in his tracks when their eyes meet. 

“Evan,” he comments softly, acknowledging the other man. “Or, Buck. If you prefer.” 

Evan shrugs. “Evan is fine.” A pause. “Wilder. Its…convenient? To see you.” 

Wilder lets out a small chuckle. He nods. 

Evan walks forward a few steps, as though he’s not going to say anything further, and he makes it about a half-step past Wilder before he stops, leans back slightly, contemplating. He looks up at him. 

“He still talks about you,” he states. There’s no jealousy in his tone, no anger. Almost like he’s just putting the information out into the universe. Wilder nods again. He stares at Evan for a moment and then tilts his head slightly, almost like he’s letting him in on a secret. 

“And he’s in love with you.” 

Evan stares at him for a moment, and Wilder isn’t sure if Evan has realized that or not. His expression doesn’t let on one way or the other. 

Wilder takes a deep breath and the corner of his mouth pulls up a little into a small smirk. 

“Tommy never once looked at me the way he does you,” he states. “Not even during the best of it all. And me? I couldn’t ever fully accept the job.” He pauses for a moment, contemplating whether he needs to say more. Even if he doesn’t, he continues anyway. “I found him when he needed a friend. You founded him when he needed a partner.” 

A smile pulls at Evan’s face. If he has anything else to say, he doesn’t get the chance. His phone starts to buzz in the pocket of the hoodie, and he stacks the coffees together before pulling it out, answering the call, shooting only half a glance in Wilder’s direction before he speaks. 

“Hi, babe. No, I already got it. I’ll be there in like five.” 

. . . 

It’s the first week of December. Wilder is exhausted, maybe even a little burnt out, but riding high. His residency has panned out into an exhibition, and it’s the opening night. He’s been bouncing all over the gallery, trying to greet everyone and talk to them, see what they do and don’t like about the work presented. 

A hand comes down on his shoulder as he finally finds a few seconds to get a bottle of water, and he spins. Tommy. 

“Hey, T,” he greets cheerfully, if not a little weary. “Thanks for coming.” 

Tommy nods, and they share a quick hug. 

“How’d you hear,” he asks. Tommy gestures off towards one of the walls and Wilder glances over. 

“Evan saw the listing,” he states. “Told all of our friends we needed to come support. He’s really obsessed with that picture of your nephews.” 

WIlder glances over at the picture. It’s a large portrait, of two children facing away from the camera. One, old enough and tall enough that he isn’t even in the image aside from his torso and legs, with his hand resting on the younger one’s head. The younger child is a toddler, leaning into his sibling’s leg with his arm wrapped around it. 

“I’ve been tasked with getting your price list,” Tommy adds. 

Wilder lets out a soft huff as a smile tugs across his lips. 

He wanted to hate Evan Buckley. He wanted Evan Buckley to be like Mike. Or Leo. Or Ezra. Or Charlie. 

He wanted Evan Buckley to not be like him, not love and respect Tommy the way he did. But then…

Evan Buckley isn’t like Wilder. Evan Buckley supports the people his boyfriend cares about. Evan Buckley doesn’t care that Tommy is a firefighter or a pilot. Evan Buckley clearly likes art. Wilder barely knows him, and yet he already knows Evan Buckley is caring and selfless. 

He takes a breath and sighs, glancing back at Tommy, watching the way he watches Evan. 

“You’re gonna marry him.” It’s not a question. 

Tommy shifts his gaze back to Wilder. It’s the slightest movement, entirely imperceptible to someone who wouldn’t know otherwise. The twitch of the corner of his mouth, of his eyebrow. 

“Forever doesn’t seem nearly long enough,” Tommy says softly. 

Wilder can only shake his head at him as he smiles at his ex-boyfriend. 

“Well, when you start interviewing wedding photographers, I’d like to at least be consulted,” he states, extending a hand to Tommy. Tommy laughs at him but shakes his hand anyway. 

“Sure, Wy. But you should know, Evan’s seen your paintings and he wants one commissioned.” 

“I’ll take that payday,” Wilder says with a laugh. When Tommy lets go of his hand, he pats Wilder’s shoulder, and then he’s off again, heading back over to Evan and the friends they brought with them. Wilder stands in his spot a moment longer, both hands on the waterbottle he still hasn’t had a drink from. He watches as Tommy’s arm loops around Evan’s waist, and as Evan leans into him. The way Evan points at a portrait and talks to Tommy earnestly about whatever it is he sees. The way Tommy is completely enraptured by Evan’s words, nodding and smiling at him with interest. 

The way Evan puts his hand on the back of Tommy’s head as he leans into him, whispers into his ear. How, when Tommy turns into him to answer, Evan looks at him like he’s the only person in the room. 

The way jealousy still lives inside Wilder, but not the way it was that first night. No, this jealousy is from the way they look at each other, the way Wilder only hopes someone will hopefully look at him one day. He finally looks away when the two men kiss, cracking open his water bottle. He manages to get a sip off of it before someone else is walking up to him.

“You’re the artist, right?” 

[izurusstuff]

⚠️ 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!! ⚠️

message from izurusstuff: hello, lovelies <3 i woke up today and immediately ran to tumblr because of an amazing thought i had >:) it’s inspired by @goddess-of-green’s teacher nagito smut, i highly recommend you check their’s out because it’s awesome and lives in my mind rent free. also this is 18+ only, minors do NOT interact!!! and everyone’s legal age. also there’s spoilers for the danganronpa 3 anime and ending of goodbye despair, so read with caution if you don’t want spoilers

summary: You’re a student at the University of Tokyo a couple years after The Tragedy. The whole ordeal inspired you to become a psychology major with a minor in ethics. It’s your senior year at the university— you only have a semester left until graduation. Everything was perfect until this point, but your high-level ethics professor makes it hard to keep up your perfect grades. Fed up, you confront him, which leads to… something special ;)

A+ (Teacher!Izuru Kamukura x Fem!Reader Smut)

It’s another day in class towards the end of the semester. Finals are quickly approaching, and your stoic teacher is handing your papers back at the end of class. For some reason, he just wouldn’t give out A’s in his class. Your perfect 4.0 GPA was going to be brought down by this right before you graduated! You grew tired of his antics. Of course, it didn’t really tick you off until you spent days without sleep trying to finish your paper. Every other source told you that it was amazing and captivating.

But you got a B+, an 89.9

You were basically fuming at that point. It was obvious Professor Kamukura wasn’t going to admit that your paper deserved an A. Rage boiled through your body. Your nostrils flared and your knuckles tightened. You stared into your professors eyes with pure anger. He wouldn’t admit it, but your reaction wasn’t boring to him. He was used to boredom. His eyebrow ever so slightly raised at you, which only pissed you off more.

Without breaking any eye contact, you ripped up your 30 page paper in front of him and slammed it on his desk. Oh boy, he did not know what he was signing up for when he messed with the valedictorian’s perfect GPA.

“Can I help you?” He scoffed.

His apathy was the straw that broke the camel’s back. With your fists balled up, you took a deep breath and let it OUT.

“Is it your mission in life to make everyone miserable? Is it because you got used by your school to become a human weapon? Why the FUCK do you have to be so condescending?! Do you KNOW how hard I worked to be here?! DO YOU?! If you hate people sooo much and you’re always bored by them, why did you take the job here? It’s not like you’re the best of the best! I can name thousands of people who’d be a better teacher for this job than you are… so why do you think you’re hot shit? You’re not… you’re a hurt little boy with some weird complex a-and you’re RUINING everything… so what the fuck is your problem, Kamukura?!”

Holy shit. Your response had him speechless for a brief second. He had to compose himself before staring you down and giving a response. However, you weren’t even CLOSE do being done…

“Your paper was bori-”

“Boring? Yeah, I fucking KNOW! Everything’s boring to you! But I am NOT letting your stubborn ass ruin my perfect GPA, do you understand?! What would capture your attention? Writing my paper on Junko Enoshima? Chiaki Nanami? Ooh I know! How about Hajime Hinata!”

Ouch. The last name really struck a nerve with Izuru. He actually felt a sense of sadness; something he hasn’t felt since he watched Chiaki’s final moments. Kamukura simply walked away, the nerve!

“Oh, you think I’m DONE with you?!”

“Doubtful.” He rolled his eyes, opening the classroom door for you. Huh, weird.

“I’m heading to my office. You can come with or continue your temper tantrum in here until the next class comes.”

You stood in shock for a moment. He was actually inviting you to his office…? I mean, it was in his own weird way, but it counted, right?

He walked in front of you without saying a word, only motioning to the door of his office.

Izuru’s office definitely didn’t fit him. There was a few coffee mugs, packets of chamomile tea, kawaii stuffed animals, a sword, etc. Were these all the gifts his former classmates gave him?

“Sit.”

You did as he said, looking around at everything in awe. Kamukura pulled out a folder than had your last name on it with copies of your old papers. You were utterly shocked he kept up with stuff like that.

“[L/N]. Your final semester here.”

“How did you-?”

“You’re valedictorian. I hear about you wherever I go.”

He… knew stuff about you? You were utterly shocked and dumbfounded. You thought you were just another boring face to him.

“I’ll say this one time and one time only. Your response to your grade impressed me. We both know that never happens.”

“Oh. Sorry, I guess?”

“Don’t apologize. It takes away character.”

You looked at the floor and nodded as Professor Kamukura looked through your folder more. Surprisingly, it earned a few impressed eyebrow raises from him.

“Your papers have no mistakes. They’re merely boring to me. Except for your last one on the ethics of Hope’s Peak. For obvious reasons, I do not have any interest in reading a paper about the school that used me.”

Realization hit you, and you actually felt bad for him. It was the first time you did. You looked at the ground and nodded. Kamukura obviously picked up on your regret, which he rolled his eyes to and tapped on the desk to get your attention.

“Why are you remorseful? It’s just a grade. If you need an A that badly, I’ll change it.”

You shook your head. It nearly knocked him out of his seat in surprise.

“No. It’s because you’re still a person, which everyone forgets about. Including me.”

Your humanization of him really REALLY struck a nerve. But in a good way. The tone in the room shifted to a way more positive one, and you swear you saw his mouth turn into an ever so slight smile.

“Your response… was not what I was expecting, Y/N.”

He used your first name?! You jolted up to stare at him in utter disbelief.

“If you want to go, I won’t keep you.”

You shook your head. Neither of you knew what to say next. However, it seemed you two were truly seeing each other as humans. Not human experiment and student who only cared about her grades, but humans… and tension filled the air. Both of you stood up with Izuru locking his office door and backing you against the wall.

Your heart fluttered so incredibly fast. Just mere moments ago, you were about to square up with your teacher. Now you want nothing more than to hold him. Little did you know he felt the same about you.

His red eyes expressed a hint of worry behind them. You could tell he was concerned about hurting you or pressuring you into this.

With a deep breath, you closed the distance between you two and finally kissed him. You expected him to shove you away and call you boring, but his hands merely cupped your face as he deepened the kiss. You melted into it, completely forgetting that he was the reason you wouldn’t have a perfect GPA. But in that moment, you couldn’t care. You didn’t care that you were passionately kissing your teacher who has no emotion towards anything.

“Are you sure you don’t want to leave?” Kamukura asked, not taking his eyes off your mouth. You could tell he wanted nothing more than you to stay with him.

“I’m sure…”

His mouth slightly widened into the barely visible smile he had before. He smiled into another kiss with you, pushing you up against the wall. Izuru obviously knew what you were thinking, but he didn’t want to make the first move out of respect (consent king). So, you took his hands and moved them down to the dip in your hips. He definitely got the memo.

“Tell me if you want to stop.”

You nodded. The kisses got more rough, but he took his time with caressing your body. You loved the passion he was showing, but God you wanted him to hurry up.

Once he got to your chest, you took your shirt off, giving him an uncovered view of your chest. He was mesmerized by your body. Kamukura pulled you into yet another kiss, but this time it was by grabbing your ass. You were surprised by his strength, but then again, he WAS made to be impossibly strong…

While he was doing his own thing to you, you unbuttoned his shirt and watched it slide down his muscular arms. Holy shit. You weren’t expecting that. You should’ve, but you didn’t.

He softly chuckled, and that surprised both of you. Izuru removed his shirt, pulling you closer. You could feel each other’s body heat. You finally took off your bra and slid your skirt down. He took no time in reaching for your chest and caressing it. Meanwhile, you got his pants off. He led the two of you to his desk…

Kamukura laid you down and kissed down your body until he got to the line of your underwear. With a delicate touch, he took them off and put himself between your thighs, looking up at you with curiosity and lust. You whimpered, and that only made him more crazed.

He gently rubbed a finger up your slit, causing you to whimper yet again. You could see his smile through your half lidded gaze.

Finally he stuck a finger in. You gasped out in pleasure, and he slowly moved it in and out. You grabbed his hair and whimpered again. Fuck it, he couldn’t wait any more.

Kamukura removed his last article of clothing and slowly slid into you. Your hands grasped onto his toned back as your moans got louder with every inch he put in. He looked down at you, putting his hands underneath your back as he began his thrusting.

You heard his soft grunts, making you further crazed. You wrapped his legs around his torso and he sped up. The light of the hallway peeking in through his blinds gave his toned body a beautiful glow, and you were starstruck by it.

In an odd moment of wholesomeness, he placed a soft kiss on your forehead while he harshly thrusted into you. The duality, good lord.

Your whimpers and tightening drove him crazy. He sped up as fast as he could, causing his desk to shake. Even if someone heard you two, neither of you cared because of how good you both felt.

Even though it felt like seconds, moments passed before you tightened around him from finishing, therefore making him cum too. Both of you were unbelievably sweaty from the deed, and you laid on his desk staring at the ceiling.

“I’ll change your grade to an A.”

RAAAA THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE THINGS IVE EVER WRITTEN, SHOUKD I MAKE A PART TWO…

[wobblesthecowgirl]

I'm No O’Driscoll!

Chapter Two: Six Point Cabin

Tags: Arthur Morgan x Femreader, enemies to lovers, O'Driscoll reader, game plot, Arthur doesn't have tuberculosis, eventual smut, age difference, 18+, mild gore

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: Hello again! Chapter two is a lot longer and we are kinda getting into it. I know Arthur and reader hate each other but you can't rush enemies to lovers!

Chapter One

Chapter Three

Days had gone by and Y/n hadn’t eaten a proper meal. In fact, she wouldn’t have had anything if it wasn’t for Mary-Beth feeding both her and Kieran scraps of food when the other gang members weren’t looking. Y/n always made sure to thank her, repaying her kindness with respect. She doesn’t have to do that, but she’s got a good heart.

Arthur and Dutch had tried asking about Colm a few more times but without being fed, the two O’Driscoll’s were too tired to respond (that and Y/n was too suborn. She hated this gang as much as the other one). Today however, seemed much different.

It was sunny, a light breeze and the birds were chirping, it would’ve been a calming day if it wasn’t for the predicament. Arthur strode towards the two of them and stood in between the two trees. When she was tied up, the gang made sure Kieran and Y/n couldn’t reach one another, their feet being only a foot apart from each other.

“When is this going to end…” Kieran whined as Arthur got to them, not ready for another day of questioning and torture.

“You both got some speaking to do of your own, about that old gang of yours.” He folded his arms like he always did, which Y/n rolled her eyes at. Here we go again.

Kieran was standing again, whereas she couldn’t, her thigh slightly better but due to her condition, it was healing slower than it should. Kieran groaned, “I said I told you. I don’t know nothing.”

Arthur shook his head, the tiny rope on his hat swung with it, “That’s what I thought.”

Dutch came striding over, his voice cheerful and booming, causing the woman to jump.

“Hold your horses there! It seems the cat has got our friend’s tongue’s.” He stood with Arthur, with a bigger guy before continuing, “I was thinking Mr Williamson could have a word.”

Y/n eyed him carefully; she had been trying to get as much information on everyone, being sat doing nothing makes you people watch. She was sure this guy was called Bill. He had a creepy grin on his face and pointed at Kieran.

“We can start with you. You ready to talk, boy?”

“I told you mister, I told all of you. I don’t know nothing, ok?” He sighed, “Th-They ain’t no friends of mine. I just been ridin’ with them for a while.”

Bill interrupted him, his spit flying out his mouth, “Bullshit! You’re close with this O’Driscoll, and you told us you weren’t close with any of them! So how about you tell us the truth.” He turned to the gang’s leader, “Dutch, what do you want me to do?”

Y/n’s heart dropped. This interrogation session was different than the others, it was much more sinister.

“Hurt him. So the next time he opens his mouth, it is to tell us what is going on.” Dutch’s mouth was twisted into a sly smile, his voice dripping with ill intent.

“Who am I kidding? One of the O’Driscoll’s boys couldn’t open his mouth, but he’d tell a lie.” He got in Kieran’s face before turning to Bill, “Screw it. Let’s just have some fun,” He made a cutting motion with his fingers, “geld him.”

Bill cheered as Y/n pulled at her restraints, “No! You get away from him!” She screamed as Dutch laughed down at her.

“Maybe you’ll talk for him!”

“What’s he doing? Where’s he going?” Her friend panicked, watching Bill bring a pair of long tongs from the fire.

Arthur hadn’t said anything, only stood watching the scene unfold before him, waiting to see who would crack first.

“Oh, don’t worry. They’re only balls boy! Just gonna cause you trouble.” Dutch began to ramble about Rome but the two hostages weren’t listening, instead watching Bill cheerfully make his way over. Kieran’s trousers and pants were then pulled down, and Y/n made sure to look up, in attempts to save the poor boy’s dignity.

“No, no, no, no! You’re kidding right?” Kieran cried, trying to back away but the tree blocked him.

“You disgusting pigs!” Y/n snapped, still wriggling and kicking, her thigh screaming at her to stop.

“You sick bastards! What do you want from me!” Even Kieran was swearing now, fear causing him to sweat profusely.

“Well, you are going to talk. The only question is now, or after we get these little fellas off?” The three men were surrounding Kieran. The pair of tongs getting closer, yet he still wasn’t cracking.

“Ok! I’ll tell you!” Y/n shouted; she couldn’t sacrifice her friend getting hurt over a gang who didn’t even realise they were missing. All the men turned to her, the weapon getting a bit further away from him.

“Six point cabin.” She stated, and when they looked at her she sighed, “That’s where the O’Driscoll’s are. That’s where Colm is lying low.”

The men seemed satisfied, as Bill shouted at Kieran, “Why didn’t you tell us that first, boy?”

“I didn’t know the location!” He whimpered, still keeping an eye of Bill’s hand, and trying to cross his legs.

“But I know where that is! I can take you there. I don’t like him. I mean, I like him even less than I like you. No offence.”

“Oh, none taken.” Dutch cackled. Arthur finally joined in on the conversation. He leant down to Kieran and said, “Ok then, partner. Why don’t you and your friend take a few of us up there. Right now.” He untied Kieran who quickly pulled his trousers up, and Arthur approached Y/n.

“I ain’t helping you!” She spat, her not shot leg kicking out in protest. She could hear him grumbling as he untied her, and when she refused to stand, he grabbed her bicep and forced her up. His grip was purposefully strong, but she couldn’t focus on that, instead, she focused on the fact that she couldn’t stand or walk properly. Being sat for days on top of her wound made her useless.

“I got this, Dutch. Should be fun.” He reassured his leader before turning his attention back to her, “Alright you, come on. Can you walk?”

“What does it look like?” She gritted her teeth, limping slowly to what she assumed was his horse after watching him ride to camp on it. She could feel him chuckling behind her, “Well at least I ain’t gotta worry about you running away.”

Another snide remark from this man and I’ll kill him on pure adrenaline and a pocketknife.

Kieran jogged over to the best of his ability to help her, but she held her hand up to stop him. She didn’t want to appear weaker than what she already did, and if the two kept acting close, the gang would use that against them like how they already did.

“Let’s hope you both ain’t trying to trick us, O’Driscolls.” Arthur warned.

“We ain’t no O’driscoll.” Kieran corrected which only caused the older man to snap back, “But you sure as shit was.” After that, he called for John and Bill to tag along, and Kieran gave them the directions.

“John, you take this little rattlesnake with you. Any nonsense, kill him.”

John nodded, pointing to his horse so Kieran could hop on.

“Don’t do anything rash.” Y/n called out to him as John sat on the front of his horse. Kieran nodded at her as if to say ‘same to you’.

“You’re with me, woman.” Arthur got on his horse, and looked down at her. She looked up and from this angle, she could see how his stubble was neatly kept and his moustache was slightly longer. His eyes were light and the were small scars dotted across his cheek.

I can’t wait to put a bullet through his head.

She grabbed the saddle but winced when she shifted her weight to her bad leg. With a grunt, Arthur extended his hand which only caused her to raise her chin at him.

“You can put your filthy hand away, I don’t need your help.”

“Well, it sure looks like you do. Stop being so stubborn, girl.”

“I hope you drop dead on this mission.” She spat, pulling herself up in an awkward manner, seating behind him with as much distance as she could get. Why does he have to have the biggest horse known to mankind?

“Are they taking us to Colm?” John asked as the three horses galloped out the camp and through the trees that gave comforting shade to the summer’s sun.

“Look, I-I-I’ll give you more directions when we’re close, but if I know where we are, it’s up past Valentine.” Kieran strutted as John moved further up for the rest of them to follow. Y/n tuned out the men the entire ride there, all she heard was talk about throwing knives, O’Driscolls, and horse shit. Instead, she watched the dust kick up from the hooves of the horses, the leaves blowing in the wind, and the occasional people passing by.

Arthur asked Bill if he still had the tongs, to which he replied with the fact he had a knife.

“Keep that in mind, young fella.” He yelled at Kieran, “Right in the forefront of it.”

“What about the woman?” Bill asked; Y/n saw him shrug.

“I’ll just shoot her other leg. I doubt she’ll get far.” His voice found humour in this, and she could only grit her teeth at how helpless she was. She was stronger than this, much stronger, and these idiots didn’t even know it.

“It’s passed these hills. Better get there before I get your gun.” She threatened and couldn’t help her smirk as she saw him instinctively reach for his holster. They stopped their horses at the clearing and planned to reach the cabin from foot. Arthur got off first and looked at her, wondering if she was going to ask for help. Of course she didn’t. Instead, she swung her leg over and jumped down, falling to her knees from the sudden impact. She kept her pained cries inside, only earning a small grunt. Kieran made his way over and helped her back on her feet, which this time she didn’t push him away. When she was steady, Kieran began to walk towards the cabin’s location.

“There’ll be a bunch of fellers hiding out there too.” Kieran stated as the group were crouched behind a log, peering into the woods. A couple of men were further than the rest, taking a toilet break against a tree.

“Are these fellas armed?” Arthur asked.

“Armed. Drunk. Wary of strangers.” Kieran nodded.

“And Colm O’Driscoll?”

“Most likely.” Y/n intervened, “Probably passed out sleeping soundly. After a day of bossing people to their deaths.”

The three O’Driscoll’s continued to talk to one another as Dutch's group tried to conduct a plan. The O’Driscoll’s got close, so John grabbed Kieran and covered his mouth with a gun to his head. Arthur did the same. His giant, calloused hands roughly gripped Y/n face to silence her, the other hand on her shoulder. She could feel his breath on her ear, but she didn’t move a muscle. Not because she was scared, but because doing so would be pointless. If she screamed, either John would shoot her, or her former gang mates would.

“I’m gonna let go of you now, if you so much as move an inch, I’m shooting you in the head this time.” He whispered in her ear, as she stifled a grunt, her eyebrows knitted together. He slowly let go, making sure she didn’t move, and began making his way over to the enemy with his throwing knife, stabbing all three with Bill. John turned to Kieran and Y/n, his eyes narrowed.

“I need to help them. You two stay here, if you try to escape we will hunt you down. Understood?” Kieran nodded while she only rolled her eyes; she was getting tired of all the empty threats. They watched as John descended down the hill.

“We can’t keep doing this, man.” She spoke up after a quick breather, her leg aching. He only hummed in response, too busy trying to get a better look of what was going on. As she scoped the scene, a familiar shine in the corner of her eye caught her attention.

“Is that..” It was. It was a sniper rifle. It was the first time she had a genuine smile. Oh, what a beautiful sight, a beautiful sight that is now mine.

She hopped down the hill, carefully as to not alert either gang, and picked up the gun. Its cold metal only warmed her heart, as she looked through the scope and nodded her head; it wasn’t the best, but it’d do. She heard her friend scramble after her, not wanting to be left alone.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” He scolded, the both of them a bit startled at the sudden loud bangs of guns at the cabin.

“What do you think? I’m going to scope that big grunt and get us the hell out of here. We can wait till they kill all the O’Driscolls, then I aim from a distance an-“

“No! Being alone is too risky! We would get hunted down! Our best bet is to warm up to the Van Der Linde gang and-“

It was her turn to interrupt him, she looked like she had been shot a second time, “What? Are you insane! Have you lost your mind?”

“I’m trying not to lose my head!” He snapped back, much to her surprise. He rubbed his eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. Just… hear me out ok?”

“They will kill us after today you know? We gave them what they needed, Bang. Bye bye us.”

A twig snapped, the two of them now on high alert. An old O’Driscoll had a gun pointed at Kieran, but Y/n quickly head shot him within milliseconds. He thanked her, a hand to his chest.

“Come on, we are sitting ducks here.” She began to limp to the cabin, the gunshots had died down significantly. When they got there, the place was littered with dead bodies.

She made her way to the wooden shed and saw the rest of them there. Arthur had his back turned; it would be so easy. She aimed her rifle at him, just as he got knocked down by a frenzied O’Driscoll with a gun pointing down at him. Saves me a job, she first thought, but Kieran’s previous words nagged her. Nagged and nagged, before she huffed in annoyance. Damn you, horse boy.

She shot the man on top of Arthur between his brows, he went limp, and Arthur pushed the now dead body off of him; blood had splattered on his coat and face. He laid there for a moment, not even acknowledging her, before getting up and peering his head inside the cabin and was suddenly filled with rage. He stormed towards her, his face red.

“You set us up! Come here!” He was towering over her now, their anger mutual.

“No she didn’t!” Kieran tried to defuse the situation which only made Arthur angrier.

“You both did, Colm O’Driscoll ain’t here!”

“If I wanted to set you up, I would’ve used this very rifle in my hand to shoot you dead!” She seethed, raising the rifle as proof she did just in fact save his life.

“She has a good point, Arthur.” Bill butted in, sort of on her side. Arthur paused for a moment, seemingly taking in the situation before shooing her away and saying, “Alright then, go on, get out of here.”

“Eh?” Kieran puzzled, stepping closer to Y/n who only furrowed her brows at him. A trap? Get our back turned to shoot us?

“I’m letting you run away, now go on. Get out of here.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice, come on Kieran.” She was about to walk off, or hobble away, when he grabbed her wrist.

“That’s as good as killing us. Out there, without you, Colm O’Driscoll’s gonna lose his mind about this.”

She groaned, sick of this argument, and Arthur didn’t seem too pleased either, only asking, “So?”

“So, we’re one of you now.” He stated, earning a scoff from Y/n.

“Oh please.”

He shot her a warning glance and for once she obeyed. Arthur rubbed his eyes before murmuring, “Give me a break.” He looked at them both, thinking hard about his next decision.

“Alright then. But I’m warning you both…”

“We get it!” Y/n groaned, throwing the rifle on the ground to his feet so he didn’t keep going on.

“You fellas get to camp, quick. Hey Bill, you tell Dutch, old Kieran and little Y/n ain’t worth killing. Just yet.” He stated, already making his way inside the cabin to find the money stashed in the chimney.

Y/n got on John’s horse this time with said man, deciding the man with the giant scar on his face was still better than Bill, who only this morning was excited to burn a man’s balls off.

“Don’t think for second you’re one of us.” John barked as they began their journey back to camp.

“Trust me. I’ll never have the desire to be accepted by any of you.” She scoffed, all of them going silent as the sun began to set, and the cold air giving her goosebumps.

[ec1ips3]

-;༉‧₊˚✧ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞

⚡︎ pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

⚡︎ summary: you and jj aren’t friends, the thought of being friends felt so foreign. after some arguments, boy troubles, and years of yearning and aruging, the idea doesn’t seem so foreign. 

⚡︎ warning: angst, mean jj, you’re a kook, i know that’s clique but i love kook!reader, swearing, she/her pronouns, not proofread, underage drinking, cheating, abandonment issues mentioned, mention of blood, fluff if you squint.

⚡︎ word count: 21, 284

⚡︎ a/n: hi everyoneeee! hope you’re all doing amazing. I decided to write some jj in honor of the new outer banks season i have yet to watch (because of jiara). also i’m guessing this takes place before season 2 because no cleo :(. BUT there is always a next time :). Also im sorry this is so long, i kept writing and i just kept adding and adding and adding, got too into it. also sorry this was late, but it’s okay because i think i wrote the best kissing scene i’ve ever written. Anyway like always, requests and taglist are always open. happy reading! <;33

masterlist | jj’s masterlist | taglist

“If you do it like that, you could break it” JJ complained.

“JJ, I did it the exact way you do it, get over it” You respond.

“Can you two stop acting like children?” Kie pleads.

You and JJ never got along. There was no real valid reason, not that you know of. You started hanging out with the pogues when Sarah and John B got together. She insisted one day you come with her so she actually has someone to talk to because there was still tension with Kie. You agreed because you wanted to help her, but one time turned into a second visit, then it became going every time Sarah went, or when Kie had called you to come over. 

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

JJ would always pick up stupid little arguments about anything. If you reacted in any sort of way he didn’t like, you wouldn’t hear the end of it. If you wanted to surf you were told you didn’t know how to. And you always fed into it.

“Y/n please, you two have been going at this all day on hms pogue,” Sarah says rubbing her head, hoping to soothe her headache from the arguing. 

“I’m curious JJ, what is my place here? Kook Princess?” You remind yourself of JJ’s comment earlier.

“You may be all high and mighty in kooklandia, but here, you’re a bottom feeder”

The both of you continue to argue, everyone on the poor boat having to listen to the both of you go back and forth. In the beginning, you ignored JJ and his remarks, he was furious when Sarah brought you the first time. He was already unhappy when John B brought one kook princess, but another one was his limit. 

You understood why JJ didn’t like you at first, you were a kook, people that treated people like him like garbage, he didn’t know who you were as a person.

But as you slowly showed up more often, JJ just seemed more annoyed with you. He hasn’t even tried to have one genuine conversation with you, he’s never said anything remotely nice to you, and he hasn’t made any friendly gesture towards you. After a while, you had reached your own limit. You were no longer able to just sit and frown as he said mean things to you, you started to defend yourself.

When John B finally docked the boat at the Chateau you were the first one off the boat thanking him once you landed and walking straight into the small house. You were hoping that Sarah or even Pope had been the one behind you but you knew it was too good to be true when you heard his voice again.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks following you.

“I’m getting away from you so you could stop annoying me” you roll your eyes.

“I wasn’t done talking to you,” JJ said.

“I was,” you say, plopping yourself on the couch, massaging your temple from the headache JJ had caused you.

“J, just let the girl be” Pope defended you, sitting next to you.

“Are you seriously on her side? When she was pulling the anchor chain, she was pulling it too close to us. She would’ve had to get us a new boat” JJ reminds him as everyone else walks in too.

“Like you wouldn’t have liked a new boat with my money” you grumbled.

“You mean daddy’s money,” JJ said. 

“JJ” Kie called him out.

“Am I wrong? It isn’t even her money. It’s the money daddy gives her. She doesn’t even do anything for it, she just has it” he continues.

“Oh, shut the fuck up JJ. You never stop talking about me or my family for more than 10 minutes” you stand up, visibly getting angrier.

“Yeah right kook princess, just like how you never-” 

“That’s enough!” John B cuts Jj off before he could finish. The room was now silent.

It always annoyed John B and Sarah how much you and JJ argue. JJ was like John B’s brother just like you’re just like Sarah’s sister. Seeing two people they loved argue really ruined their moods and sometimes they even had arguments about the two of you arguing. 

It wasn���t like John B didn’t like you, he did really like you. When Sarah would show up to a pogue thing, he would always ask for you, you were really easy to talk to, and you always looked out for him and his friends. JJ included. There were times when you had to pay for things for everyone, times when John B needed a little extra money for food, and even having to bail JJ out of jail. And you were always there to help and talk. 

JJ liked Sarah. That was it. She makes John B happy and that’s all that really matters to him. She always treats his friends right and makes them happy too. JJ is started to warm up more to Sarah and is beginning to have an actual conversation with him now. His only problem with Sarah is that she brings you around.

“I’m so sick and tired of the arguing today. Pope, JJ, and I will stay here. Ladies, do whatever you want, I don’t care. Just take her, away from him and we will all be happy” John B points to you and JJ when he says your name, his arms folded once he’s done.

“Yes! That’s a great idea. We could eat at the Wreck. I’m starving” Sarah jumps in, looking at you with the hope that you’ll agree.

“My dad did ask about you last time,” Kie told you, trying to convince you.

You didn’t need convincing. The second John B had said you and JJ needed to be apart, you would’ve done anything. 

“That isn’t fair. I’m hungry too” JJ complained.

“I will gladly leave,” you say.

“Perfect” Sarah sighs, walking to John B as a Bye and see you later.

You wave to Pope and John B who wave back, not indicating if you were coming back or not. The three of you left in Sarah’s car as she was the one who picked you up and drove to the Wreck.

The minute you stepped foot into the vehicle, there was a large weight lifted off of your shoulders. And when you stepped foot into the restaurant, your entire mood changed from annoyed to happy. Maybe it was the atmosphere, but Sarah and Kie are convinced it’s because you are now completely away from JJ.

The three of you strike up a random conversation, you not wanting to even think about the boy who changed the mood for you. After Kie gets your table’s food from the kitchen and you’re all eating is when someone just had to bring him up.

“Maybe you were just hangry when you had that argument with JJ” Sarah starts, and you roll your eyes.

“Or maybe, JJ is just annoying”

“She isn’t wrong, JJ is very annoying” Kie backs you up.

“Yeah but, Y/n. It’s JJ. You can always ignore him” Sarah says.

“If I ignore him he thinks it’s okay to do it. When I talk back he still thinks it’s okay, but he knows that I’m able to defend myself. That within himself already angers him” you say, sipping on your drink.

“I don’t know, maybe you guys just need to have sex,” Kie says plainly.

“Kie!” you and Sarah say at the same time.

“I’m serious. What if all this fighting is just both of you sexually frustrated with each other? Instead of taking each other’s clothes off, you argue with each other” Kie explains herself.

“I would rather get gum in my hair,” you say, biting a fry.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t find JJ attractive. Hell, everyone in, even Rafe did. 

Before you met him, you just liked to look from afar. When you did, you thought maybe if you were nice enough something would blossom. But nothing ever did, just hatred towards you. Maybe that’s why you never could actually hate JJ as much as you disliked him. Maybe it’s the way he laughs, the way he shakes his head like a dog when he gets out of water. Maybe his pretty privilege gives him a pass.

“Her idea doesn’t actually sound too bad,” Sarah says as she thinks about it more.

“Sarah!” you say.

“Think about it. What if one day you and JJ just fuck, do you think you’ll continue to fight?” Sarah asks.

“I don’t want to think about fucking JJ, thank you very much” you respond, going back to eating. After that statement and a few laughs from the table, Sarah strikes up a new conversation. 

Kie took this time to take other tables, every 20 minutes going back to your table to include herself in the conversation. As she was sitting this time, she noticed something, or rather someone.

Kie kicked your food under the table.

“Ow. What was that for?” you complain.

“Don’t look now but that guy behind you is totally checking you out” Kie says, still looking at the guy.

You did the only thing any reasonable person would and looked back, Sarah following suit. When you looked back a boy was looking at you. With light brown hair and blue eyes, he blushed and looked at his friends after you looked at him. He was really cute, like really really cute.

“I told you not to look back” Kie laughed.

“Yeah and I’m glad I did anyway. He’s cute” You say.

“You could always just, talk to him. Maybe get his number” Sarah suggested.

“Yeah right, he’s probably some guy that’s staying for the weekend, I’ll pass. Can you take me home now” You look at Sarah, her eyebrows knit together.

“You aren’t coming back?” she asks, you shake your head.

You were having a good time, going back to where he was would just ruin your mood. So to not risk it, you wanted to go home.

“To spare everyone from an even harder headache, I’ll stay home. I have things to do anyway” you say.

“You mean binge-watch ‘You’ and obsess over Joe Goldberg again” Kie calls you out.

“I can fix him” you respond.

“He’s a serial killer!” Kie responds

The table laughs until Sarah finally agrees, Kie going with her to drop you off at home. You do exactly what Kie said you would do, it’s a little boring but, it’s better than arguing with someone. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You’re scrolling on your phone when you hear your doorbell ring frantically. Since no one else was home, you take your phone with you as you quickly run down the stairs to open the door. When you open the door, you weren’t expecting Kie.

“Y/n, you have to come. Sarah got stung by a jellyfish” she said frantically

“Wait what, how? Why are you even here shouldn’t you be-” Kie cut you off before you could even finish your sentence.

“She wants you to pee on her. Just put on your shoes and come!” Kie tried pulling you out of the door but you took a step back. “Give me a second,” you said quickly getting your shoes from the side and holding them in your hand until you get in her car.

Kie drove you to the Chateau when she held your hand to the back you already saw Pope and John B on HMS Pogue. 

If John B was here, why did Sarah need you? “Wait, John B? Where’s Sarah?” you ask, getting on the boat, Pope holding your’s and Kie’s hand. 

“She’s on her dad’s. But she insisted we leave to get you to pee on her” John B explained.

“But you’re literally her boyfriend” you respond, confused.

“She said something about how ‘boy pee is dirtier than girl pee’” Pope said, you rolled your eyes. That is something Sarah would say. 

Eventually, John B pulled up next to Sarah’s boat. JJ was nowhere to be found, you had assumed he would be on the boat with Sarah to keep her company. But it was only her and her painful moans in the water.

You get on Sarah’s boat and you try to lift her, “Y/n, you’re here to pee on me” Sarah said cheerfully. 

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not peeing on you Sarah, I’m taking you to the doctor which should’ve been done when you first got stung” you said, sending daggers to John B’s eyes. 

“But you know that you can pee on someone to take the stinging away,” Sarah says leaning against you.

“I don’t even think that’s true but whatever helps you sleep at night,” you say walking to the edge of the boat so John B could take Sarah, who gracefully does his job. 

Once you hand Sarah off you hear banging, and when you look back the cockpit door is moving rapidly. The loud banging with the moving door only makes you more confused. 

“Sarah… Is there someone here?” you ask, expecting some sort of answer. But all you heard was the motor and silence. “Sarah?” you look back where John B’s boat should be but it isn’t there. 

Your eyes go wide, you see them slowly boat away. “Sorry Y/n, I still love you!” Sarah called out from the boat. She still loves you? What does she mean by-

You couldn’t even finish your thought before the cockpit door opens, but someone comes out quickly. When you see the familiar blond hair you want to curl into a ball and never come out again. 

JJ notices you, his eyes wide. He mumbles something under his breath before he goes to where you are and looks at his friends. “What the fuck?!” He yells at them.

“We’re tired of the arguing! We’ll come back in the morning for the both of you” Kie said.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” you groaned.

JJ looked at you for a second, then back at his friends. He groans loudly, louder than you which already annoys you.

“They’re kidding right, they’re not actually gonna leave us here?” you ask him, JJ just rolls his eyes at you. “Yeah dumbass, they are. We did it to Kie and Sarah once” JJ told you, he sighed and walked away from you, pinching the bridge of his nose.

You suck your teeth and look where your friends were. But when you felt the familiar something in your shorts you squealed loudly. JJ looked back at you to see what made you so excited. But when you pulled out your phone that was when he got angrier. 

“It isn’t gonna work,” JJ tells you.

“You don’t know that Sarah’s boat should have wifi” 

“I do know that and she doesn’t. Remember she said something about how it never works when it’s away from her house.” JJ rolled his eyes.

When you stood up and raised your phone in the air you cursed yourself. He was right, it wasn’t working. You remember Sarah and Kie laughing about when the pogues did it to them. You had hoped that maybe this would help you and JJ. With that being said instead of trying to make an actual conversation with you, JJ pulls a joint out of his pocket, lights it up, and puts it to his lips before he could even offer it if you wanted.

Even if you rejected his offer, it would’ve shown he was actually trying. You roll your eyes and go down to where you and Sarah usually sleep when you sleep over on the boat. If he wasn’t going to make the effort, why should you? You thought.

You entertained yourself with the games on your phone that didn’t need wifi for a couple of minutes. Then minutes turned into hours when your phone died and you hadn’t seen JJ since you left him. You know he’s hungry because you’re hungry so as much as you dread it, you decide to put an end to the arguing.

You took some chips out of your and Sarah’s secret stash and left the small room. When you walk out the first thing that hits your nose is weed. You walk to the middle of the boat just to find him on the edge of it, smoking a joint, looking in the distance. You walked a little harder so JJ could recognize you were around, and he did, looking back at you. You threw him the chips. 

“I know you’re hungry, consider this a piece offering,” You say, opening your bag and taking out a chip to bite. 

JJ just looked at his chip bag and scoffed, he threw it back at your feet. “I don’t want it,” he said lowly. You roll your eyes, of course, he’s acting like a child. 

“Look, I don’t want to do this as much as you but we should at least give it a try. Us arguing is ruining our friendship with everyone else.” You explain to him

JJ laughed loudly, “you mean you’re ruining your relationship with everyone” 

“Excuse me”

“You heard me. Maybe if you weren’t so annoying you wouldn’t be ruining those friendships, but you are” JJ says 

You’re speechless for a second thinking of what to say before you actually say it. “Last time I check JJ it takes two people to hold an argument. I’m not the only annoying one” 

“Sorry, Princess but that’s all you. Maybe if you didn’t act like a kook you would be able to realize how annoying you are”

“Is that the only reason you don’t like me? Because I’m a kook? That’s real childish of you, JJ” 

JJ stood up at the word childish, getting close to you. “Then so be it, but at least I act like my true self,” he says

“What are you even talking about? I didn’t ask to be a kook, I can’t control that” you defend yourself.

“Yeah but you control who you choose or who not to be friends with,” JJ says, venom rolling off his tongue.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you knew exactly what he meant, you just wanted him to say it.

“You’re a princess who lives in this big castle, everyone caters to you. You can do no wrong, everyone loves you. But you chose to befriend the ones everyone looks down upon. It’s fucking weird and fake” JJ says, raising his voice slightly.

“So you hate me because I’m friends with your friends instead of some random kooks?” 

“No, I hate you because you are you. You’re a spoiled brat who uses daddy’s money to get closer to us. You act so innocent like you don’t know what you’re doing but you do! I don’t know why you’re friends with us Y/n but I know that when Daddy is no longer upset at you, you’ll go crawling back to your kook friends” JJ said, every word he said hurting you slightly more, and more.

“You don’t even know me,” you say angrily.

“And I don’t want to. Think about it. When it was just Sarah, everything was perfectly fine. No one was ever begging someone to stop arguing, we were always happy and laughing. That all changed when Sarah decided to bring you around. You changed everything!”

You were speechless, your mouth slightly wide, your eyebrows furrowed together. JJ has never yelled at you once, so seeing him do it now only made you feel pain. To think you actually liked this guy, to think you tried to befriend him. And all of it was for nothing.

JJ took your silence as an opportunity to go further. “You changed everything! And you changed everything for the worse! Do you actually think we enjoy being with you? Do you really think Pope doesn’t care when you ask him multiple questions? Do you really think Kie doesn’t hate it when you bring up something from the kook academy? Do you really think John B likes you? He only puts up with you because of Sarah. They all only put up with you because of Sarah! So get a grip, stop trying to be my friend, and leave my friends alone!”

The sound of his echoes was the only thing heard. Your eyes began to water. You knew he was wrong, if he wasn’t they would’ve all said something to you or Sarah. But there was a small part of you that believed him. 

JJ had only realized what he said once he noticed your entire face go pale. Like all the life and the spirit you had in you was gone instantly. He felt bad, he didn’t mean the words he said. He was angry, he wanted you to stay away from him. He never wanted to ruin you, when he first saw you, that was his one wish for himself. But he did it anyway.

“Y/n… I’m sorry I didn’t- I didn’t mean it. I- I was just saying-”

“It’s okay, I get it,” you said softly, it’s so soft and quiet. He’s never heard you be this quiet and he never wants to hear you this quiet ever again.

“No, this isn’t-” he took a step closer to you and you took two steps back. “Y/n…”

You wipe the tears that fall, “I’m gonna go back inside the cabin. Have a nice night JJ” you said even quieter than before.

“I’m sorry. Y/n I didn’t mean any of it, you gotta believe me” JJ pleaded with you. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, you knew if you did you would only cry more.

 “Yeah JJ. I believe you” you said, looking at him for a second, just a second. Once you do you quickly turn away, walking to the cabin.

JJ didn’t stop you, he wanted to. He didn’t want to make you cry, he never wanted to even see you cry. He ran his fingers through his hair and grabbed the ends of it. He felt like an idiot. He sat down, the unopened bag of chips next to him. He looked at it and shook his head, getting angrier with himself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

The sunlight fell onto your face, waking you up. Your eyes were tired from all of the crying you did last night. You had a massive headache. Your voice felt so small. Everything from last night made you want to go back to sleep and stay in that cabin for the rest of your life, but you knew that wouldn’t be possible. 

You walked out of the cabin and saw a small bag of chips at the door, the bag of chips you gave him. You throw it back into the cabin and you didn’t even try to look for him. You were on the edge waiting for your friends to come back. 

You finally saw a small white dot in the distance, sighing with relief. But that sigh was too soon because you felt the new presence behind you. The HMS Pogue was getting closer and neither of you said a word. Not until it was almost there that JJ had broken the silence.

“I’m really sorry Y/n. I shouldn’t have said any of those things to you because they all aren’t true.”

You stood up and looked at him, “it’s okay JJ. You won’t have to worry about me anymore” you say, looking at the HMS Pogue.

“What?” his blue eyes filled with confusion.

“I’ll stay away from you and your friends. Just so everyone can be happy like they were before me”

“Y/n” was all JJ said when he heard Kie’s voice.

“Did everything go as planned?” she asked. The both of you were silent.

You had climbed down to the HMS Pogue with the help of Pope, both you and JJ silent as ever. 

“Guess not” John B mumbled, climbing onto Sarah’s boat with Sarah. 

“Why are you getting here?” JJ asked. 

“Well, I need my boat back. So John B and I were gonna drive it back to my house and Pop was gonna take the pogue boat and drive to my house in the twinkie to pick us up. You can join John B and me if you want” Sarah offered JJ.

He looked at you who was looking at the ground below you. So quiet you were. JJ nodded, walking away from the edge of Sarah’s boat.

“Pope, can you drive me home before you pick them up? My mom is probably freaking out about where I was last night” you ask him, your eyes soft and the presence you held within them so small.

“Uhm, yeah. Sure, Of course” Pope nodded, starting the HMS Pogue. 

“Uh, we’ll see you guys later,” Kie told John B and Sarah.

“See you later,” Sarah said, but she only looked at you.

The boat ride to the Chateau was the quietest it’s ever been in. You, Pope, and Kie got in the twinkie shortly after docking and just like he said, Pope took you home first. Not without a bye of course.

When you walked into your house, your mother was already waiting for you in the kitchen. After your long minutes of scolding and your punishment of not going outside unless asked to for a week, you went to your room. To do what you did in the cabin. Cry your eyes out.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

The week’s punishment wasn’t bad. You actually enjoyed it. You had an excuse for Sarah and Kie when they asked to hang out. But once the week was up you gave every excuse in the books to not go. You told JJ you would stay away from them, and you are. 

You would be lying if you said it wasn’t lonely, it was very lonely. You were so used to being with them almost every day that now your day just feels empty. And poor Sarah. You would talk to her every day, there wasn’t one time when you weren’t with or texting her. You didn’t tell her what happened on the boat after she asked. You didn’t want their image of JJ to disappear.

JJ was also going through it. Ever since what happened on the boat JJ was quieter than usual, it made the rest of the pogues worry. He also hadn’t told them what happened on the boat mainly because he knew you weren’t going to.

Every time the pogues brought you up JJ just felt guilty. He knows he is the reason why you aren’t showing up anymore, and in a way, the pogues know it too. JJ didn’t know what to do, he wanted to talk to you but he didn’t know if he should actually go to your house. He had a feeling you would just ignore him and tell him to leave. JJ felt helpless, he didn’t know how to clean up the mess he created.

When you woke up this morning you did your usual routine, mainly just sulking. When you went to eat your breakfast though your mom asked to run some errands for her. You asked her why she couldn’t do it and she reminded you that you haven’t been outside in a while, to soak up some sun. 

She was right though, you hadn’t been out since Pope dropped you off. You agreed to run the errands. You got upstairs and decided to try to look decent since you’ve just been in pajamas. Once you were done and looked at yourself in the mirror you felt more like yourself, maybe you felt even a little happier. 

You went in your car to do the things your mom told you to do, playing your music and you felt better than when you first woke up in the morning. You went to the flower shops, you went to your mom’s office to grab something, you went to the grocery store, and the last place you had to go to was Heywards. You saved that for last because you know Pope is usually with his dad, sometimes JJ and John B even helping for extra cash.

Once you walked in Mr. Heyward already smiled at you. “Y/n, how are you doing? Long time no see”

“Mr. Heyward, I’m alright. How are you? How’s Mrs. Heyward” 

“Oh, she’s doing great. You know you could just call me Heyward, Y/n. Mr. Heyward makes me feel old” you both laugh. “What brings you here?” he asks, the smile still on his face. 

“My mom had made an order a couple of days ago she said, I’m just here to pick it up and pay”

“I’ll get right on that” He starts to walk away but he pauses and looks back “You know, the rest of them have been around a couple of times and I haven’t seen you. Pope hasn’t even mentioned you in a while. I guess what I’m letting you know is that they miss having you around” 

“Oh” was your only response, you didn’t know what to say. It felt nice knowing that they miss you, but it pains you to know they still want you around. 

“I’ll get your order now. I’ll be with you right now sir” Mr. Heyward said to someone behind you and walked away quickly.

You looked behind you once he left, and it was a guy behind you. Light brown hair and blue eyes. He looked familiar but you didn’t know from where. When you looked back at him it was like his interest had peaked, once you smiled at him and he returned one you turned away. 

There was an awkward silence between the two of you but Mr. Heyward came out quickly with a bag. “Here you go, that’ll be 67.95,” he said. You gave him a hundred-dollar bill. “You can keep the change Mr. Heyward” you smiled.

Mr. Heyward thanked you and you grabbed the bag walking to your car now. You put the bag in the backseat on the driver’s side but when you shut the door the boy that was inside was walking towards you.

“Hi, I don’t want to take too much of your day. I don’t know if you remember me but I saw you t that one restaurant, you were with your friends, two girls.” He says, you jog your memories and it pops up.

“Yes! I was wondering why you looked so familiar. I remember now, what’s up” you give him a gentle smile.

“Well, I was with my friends there too. And they noticed I was looking at you and they wanted me to ask you out. I kinda chickened out and when you left I thought I wasn’t going to see you again. But now that I have, I think it’s a sign to take my chance. So are you willing to maybe, go on a date with me? You could say no of course but I wouldn’t mind a yes either” he gives you a dazzling smile. He was cute. You haven’t been on a date in forever and you don’t have friends to make plans with. The worst that could happen is the date doesn’t go well.

“Yeah, sure. I’d love to”

The boy smiles wider, “great. That’s perfect uhm- Sorry I thought you would say no” he says, sounding suddenly out of breath. You giggle at him. You pull out your phone and pull up to add to contacts, giving it to him.

“Give me your number and I’ll give you mine. Just text me the details and it’s a date” you say, the boy gives you his phone quickly. You put your phone number and put your name down, then you texted yourself a little message before giving the phone back.

“Oh, I’m Jayden by the way,” the boy says. 

“Y/n” you respond, walking to open your car door. “I’ll see you around Jayden” you opened the door. 

“Likewise, I’ll get right on with the details,” Jayden says, you nod and he walks away a smile on both of your faces. 

You enter your car and drive home in a much better mood, you needed this. A cute date with a cute guy. This could lead to absolutely nothing or maybe just a short fling, you didn’t mind either. Maybe this could help you take your mind off of the pogues.

But the pogues wouldn’t take their mind off of you. Especially not anymore. Pope was outside of Heyward’s and watched when you first pulled up to his dad’s business. Not only that but his dad mentioned you were there. Pope saw you walk out and saw a guy he’s never seen before walk up to you. He watched as you listened to what the boy was saying and he saw when you gave him your number.

He didn’t know when he was gonna bring it up but he knew he would tell the rest of them. There was a part of him that felt like it wasn’t anyone’s business, to just leave you alone. But then he reminded himself how much everyone is moping around, maybe this will be a clue.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

Some time has passed since you were at Heyward’s. A month to be exact. 

You were happier than the month prior. The date with Jayden went so well you had another one not long after. Then you started hanging out more and more. Then he kissed you. Not long after he asked you to be his girlfriend.

You felt like it was too short, you hadn’t known him for long and he was already asking you to be his girlfriend. But you accepted anyway.

It’s been almost two months since the last time you saw the pogues. Almost two months since you saw Sarah. God, you missed her. You wanted to tell her all about Jayden, you wanted to have a girls’ day with her and Kie. You wanted to be with the pogues. You wanted to laugh like you used to, you wanted to surf with people who knew how to, and you wanted to feel fun again.

Jayden introduced you to his friends after the second date. Neither he nor his friends lived in the Outer Banks, they all lived on the mainland. They usually came out here for the summer but the commute from there to the mainland wasn’t long, so the relationship was doable when summer is over.

His friends, Austin, Rafael, Kolton, and Garrett are nice, they engage in conversations with you. The girls, April, Diana, and Alana didn’t bother you. They seemed to like you, always finding something to compliment you with. This group of friends was so much different than the one you were so familiar with. The pogues felt like a family, this one was separated into two, the boys and the girls. Everyone spoke to each other but you knew there was something deeper inside the group, a secret not everyone knew about.

You’ve mainly just been with Jayden and his friends, going to one of their house parties a couple of times. It wasn’t like the keggers but it did help you forget about the people you’d rather be with.

You were now getting ready to pick up Jayden to go to Rafael’s house, doing a light amount of makeup since you’ll be in his pool. You hear a knock on your door, you tell your mom she can come in. Your back is turned away from the door so when you hear it close followed by silence you look back. The person you didn’t expect to see was Sarah.

“Sarah… What are you.. What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Are you serious right now, Y/n?” Sarah said she is visibly angry.

You close your eyes and breathe out, once you opened them Sarah didn’t wait for a second to continue to speak.

“I haven’t seen you in almost two months. You haven’t texted me back in a week and a half to hang out with you and every time you do text back it’s some stupid excuse. I try calling you, Kie has tried calling you, hell, even John B has tried calling you to come over. I have to show up at your house unannounced and lie to your mom about being here and why she hasn’t seen me in so long. And your first words to me are asking me what I’m doing here?” she rants

You’re quiet. You don’t know what to say. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to solve this problem. Your silence only makes Sarah angrier.

“And Pope- he told us he saw you with some boy last week, apparently this is the second time he’s seen you with him. And not once did you even think to tell me. Is this what you’re doing? Are you just abandoning us for some random guy? Why aren’t you saying anything?!” her voice finally gets loud, she didn’t want your mom to worry but she wanted you to understand how she feels.

“Now, I’m not abandoning you guys. I’m just taking a break. You don’t get it alright” you say, getting up from your vanity and walking back and forth across your room.

“I don’t get it because you never told me anything. One day we were great, we put you and JJ on a boat and the next morning you never speak to me again. What happened on that boat?”

“JJ and I just had a bad argument. Instead of arguing, I’m just taking a break from him so we wouldn’t argue so much” it wasn’t the full truth, but it was something you could give her. Sarah stood silent to let you speak.

“If you were tired of the arguing imagine how I was. And as for the boy, I met him when Pope saw us the first time I’m guessing. But the second time, we had just started dating. We still are dating. I’m going out to see his friends now” 

Sarah was silent, trying to process everything you were saying. You, dating a guy you hadn’t known for long was unlike you.

“I’m fine Sarah. I’m doing good actually. I have a good boyfriend who is treating me right and his friends are treating me like they’ve known me longer than they’ve known him. You and the rest of the pogues can stop worrying about me now. I’ll be around soon but right now, I’m not ready yet”

Sarah sucked on her teeth, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing right now. You started putting on your shoes and started walking to the door, Sarah stepping in your way.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

“I already told you, I’m going to my boyfriend’s friend’s house to hangout”

Sarah scoffed, “so you’re leaving this here, all for some people you barely even know? This isn’t like you, Y/n. Just talk to me and we could have this all figured out”

“I don’t want to talk right now Sarah and I promised Jayden I would be there today. I’m sorry for everything and I’m sorry for leaving right now but I have to go whether you like it or not.” 

You maneuvered around her and opened the door, walking out of your room and going down the stairs. “Y/n” Sarah called out, you looked back as she was slowly going down the stairs.

“If you need anything. Someone to laugh with, someone to gush about your new boyfriend too, someone to cry on their shoulder. I’m here” Sarah said, her voice shaky like she was about to cry. 

You walked to Sarah and hugged her tightly, tears streaming down both of your faces. You knew this wasn’t a goodbye, this wasn’t something where you would never see her again. It was more of a way of both of you saying you miss each other without actually saying you miss each other.

“I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” you whispered in her ear. Sarah nodded quickly after, “yeah, I’d like that” she laughed lightly, you laughing with her.

You separate from her and just look at her for a moment. You get the feeling to just ditch Jayden and stay with Sarah. Go back to the chateau and just hang out with everyone. You just tell everyone about the new people you met and make fun of them. You knew JJ would like it too, he had a thing for making fun of wealthy people.

But you didn’t.

You walked out of your front door, saying bye to Sarah and you drive to Jayden’s house. You waited for him to come out of his house and you looked at yourself in the mirror, your eyes puffy, a sign you had been crying. But that didn’t matter, your only thoughts were of the pogues suddenly, your only thoughts were of him.

When Jayden showed up in your car and kissed your lips. He didn’t even question your state and just went straight to talking about nonsense. Talking about things you never really cared about. You would look at him occasionally. Just because you were admiring him. You only ever did that with him. But because you started to think did you really like Jayden, or was he some sort of distraction? 

You showed up at Rafael’s house, everyone already in some sort of bathing suit with a beer in their hand. You didn’t want one so once you settled down, you got into the pool. Conversations striking left and right. But you weren’t interested in them. Your mind always wandered to someplace else. You were like this the entire night.

You kept thinking about them and how happier you would be if you were there. Sarah’s words made you feel like you abandoned them. But JJ didn’t want you there. He didn’t like you being there. Then why do you keep thinking of him? Why are you imagining yourself with JJ, being a little too close if he didn’t like you? 

It’s a shame your mind is everywhere else but present. Maybe if your mind was where everyone else was you would notice the pity stares you’re getting right now. Maybe you would notice Diana getting close to Jayden. Maybe you would notice their whispering. But you didn’t. And every time you looked at him, he smiled back at you. 

You felt pity for him. From your perspective, you’re thinking of a different guy while you’re still with him. To you, he isn’t a bad boyfriend. To you, he deserves better. When you get up, he separates himself from Diana, and you walk over to him, sitting next to him. You kissed his cheek and then started to engage in the current conversation.

After you left Sarah went to the chateau, telling everyone what happened. She told them about how you have a new boyfriend named Jayden. She told them what you looked like. You looked normal but you didn’t look like yourself. She told them her suspicions. She told them she thinks you don’t even want to be with Jayden and that you don’t want to be with his friends either.

JJ heard it all. He wanted to go pick you up and take you back here with him. But who is he to you? The guy who made her push everyone away. The guy who made become friends with this random guy’s friends. He caused all of this. So why would you listen to him?

He was jealous when Sarah mentioned Jayden. He had been jealous when Pope had brung it up at first. He was the one who convinced the group that maybe the boy she gave her number to was just a friend. But the group knew he wasn’t, they just let JJ think he convinced them. JJ mainly convinced himself. He was jealous when Pope saw you and him again, “clinging onto each other” in Pope’s words. 

JJ knew he shouldn’t be jealous, he was the one that helped the guy. But there was still that part of him that couldn’t help being jealous.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You and Sarah slowly started to make up. You met up with her once since she showed up at your house three weeks ago. You spoke more about how you were doing, and how Jayden was, even showing pictures of him and all of his friends. Sarah did the same, talking about the pogues and about how much they missed you. She told you how JJ has been different since the boat. He was a lot quieter and a little calmer. It was getting harder and harder for him o want to go out, John B, Kie, and Pope doing all they could to even get him to surf. JJ loves surfing.

He didn’t even want to party anymore. Just wanted to stay in John B’s bed all day and sleep all day. It was different from the JJ you once knew.

Sometime after the meetup Sarah had convinced you to let Jayden meet her, baby steps she said. This was mainly so Sarah could get his vibe and report back to the pogues but she didn’t tell you that. She claimed it was because she wanted to warn him if he ever broke your heart.

Today was the day, Sarah had told you to meet up at the Wreck so all you had to do was get Jayden and meet her there. You had called and texted him with no response, something you’re getting used to lately because he keeps oversleeping. When he does you have to go to his room and wake him up so you knew that’s what you would most likely do today. You got ready and texted him you were on the way just in case he woke up in the middle of your driving.

You pulled to his house and walked in, already knowing the door was opened. You walked up the stairs and knocked on his door, once, twice. No response. You twisted the knob to see if he had locked it or not. But it was unlocked.

You walked in saying, “Jayden, we’re meant to be seeing Sarah today, can you wake-”

You stopped yourself. The sight in front of you makes you sick. You feel humiliated, embarrassed, angry, and lied to.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you say loudly, Jayden and Diana jumping awake.

Both of their eyes wide, “Wait wait wait wait. Baby, Baby-” Jayden started.

“Don’t you fucking baby me. How dare you? How dare you?!” You ask him.

Diana pulled the covers over her body, “Y/n, I’m so sorry I-” she started.

“Save it.” you kept your eyes on Jayden. “I can’t fucking believe this, how long has this been going on?”

The both of them were silent. “Fucking Answer me!” you yell.

“Since before I saw you at that place the first time” Jayden responded.

Your head felt dizzy. You couldn’t believe this. This was the secret this group was hiding. 

“Y/n, baby. I’m sorry I didn’t- It was an accident” Jayden said getting closer to you.

“An accident? An accident is spilling milk on the floor or tripping somewhere. This is no accident! You putting your dick inside her multiple times is not an accident!” you said getting angrier.

“I have needs baby, come on. We were together for a month and we never had sex. You don’t even send pics. I needed to release, baby. You understand that, don’t you?”

You were stunned. All of this was because he needed to fuck someone? He just needed a good lay? Is he fucking serious? Trying to blame you when he can’t keep his dick in his pants.

Although you didn’t feel an ounce of love for him. This still hurt you. No one likes being cheated on. 

“And to think I was gonna introduce you to my best friend today” tears started to stream down your face. 

“Y/n…” he says quietly, his arms open, taking a step closer. You step back.

“No. We’re done. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t even look at me!” you yell at him, tears still coming out of your eyes. Your eyes went to Diana, “and you. I liked you.” you scoffed. You walked out of his room, the tears trickling down to your clothes, messing your makeup up.

Once you get into your car and start driving to your house, you almost forgot to call Sarah. When you dial her number down she answers immediately, “I’m almost out the door right now-” she started, her voice cheerful as ever.

“Don’t even bother showing up. He’s a dick” you said, it was obvious you had been crying.

“Y/n, are you okay baby? What happened?” Sarah asked, worry in her voice.

You begin to cry again, even just saying the words make you sick.

“Jayden he- he was in bed with Diana,” you said, a cry following after you.

“Oh babe, I’ll be at your house in two seconds. I’ll be there” Sarah said, the sound of her front door closing.

“No, Sarah. I- Don’t come please, I-”

“I told you when you need a shoulder to cry on,  I’ll be there. I’m on my way now” she said hanging up.

She felt awful for you. She texted Kie about the change of plans, she was staying with you for the rest of the day. Jayden cheated on you.

Kie told John B, Pope, and JJ. Hearing you got cheated on made JJ’s blood boil. What was the point of being with you if he was gonna cheat? He couldn’t stay loyal for a month? JJ wanted to do something, anything. He was about to go to your house but Kie had reminded him Sarah would be there with you. 

That’s what stopped him. Knowing you had someone else there with you.

And you did.

Sarah showed up at your house and hugged you tighter than she’s ever hugged you before. You just cried and cried and cried on the poor girl. Sarah helped you clean your makeup off as she reminded you how beautiful you look. Sarah would look at her phone occasionally, it was mostly Kie telling her how worried JJ is and JJ texting her to see how you were holding up.

You told her everything, how Jayden first started to not wake up. Now looking back it was just him waking up Diana and getting her out before you could see her. Or maybe he hid her when you showed up. You didn’t care. You told her what happened at his friend’s house, how after Sarah spoke to you all, you thought about the pogues. All you thought about was how it would’ve been better if you were with them. 

You and Sarah at one point changed into pajamas, Sarah changing into the one she leaves behind. After several hours of crying, yelling, singing, and dancing. It was beginning to get late, your eyes were both tired from the crying but also tired because you were just exhausted.

Sarah held you in her arms, your mind begins to wander. 

“Do they know?” you ask quietly. Sarah knew exactly who you were talking about. She nodded.

“What did he say?” you ask even quieter. Sarah knew who you were talking about, but she wanted you to say it. “Who?” she asks. 

“JJ.” 

Sarah closes her eyes, holding you tighter. You were fully expecting her to say nothing, you were expecting her to say he didn’t care.

“He’s been worried sick. It’s kinda cute actually. Look” Sarah says, showing you her phone and the text messages JJ has sent.

You weren’t expecting so many texts asking how you were, if he could come over, how could he help, when she thinks you’ll be fine. Sarah just kept responding with you were getting there, that he shouldn’t come over, that he shouldn’t help, and that it takes time.

But every time JJ insisted on going over, he wanted to know your current status, he wanted to help. Once Sarah stopped answering, he kept texting the same messages as before. 

At the bottom of the screen, you see the familiar three dots. They disappeared for a second and a new message popped up. “I see you reading my texts. Answer them and let me come over Sarah.”

You smile, something Sarah hasn’t seen in a while. You close your eyes once Sarah takes her phone away.

“I know this isn’t the right time. But whatever he said on the boat, Y/n. He didn’t mean it.” Sarah says quietly, when you didn’t respond, she went on.

“You see he cares about you Y/n. And it isn’t my place to tell you. But you mean a lot to him, he just doesn’t know how to handle it sometimes”

You sighed.

“Goodnight, Sarah”

Sarah was quiet, getting the memo.

“Goodnight, Y/n”

 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

It’s been quiet now. You’ve just been in your room. Like how you were after the boat. Sarah would come over every single day, even if it meant spending 30 minutes with you, she would come over. She would even sometimes bring Kie with her. 

And every time either of them would come over, their phone would always get a text ping. And every time you glanced at their phone. Even a little bit. It always said either JJ or JJ Maybank.

You’ve been moping around, Sarah was starting to feel bad, summer was about to end and John B had suggested throwing a kegger a few days ago, JJ was not really into the idea. He also said this could be an opportunity to try to get you back with the pogues. Once John B said that JJ was down.

So after Sarah was at the chateau and went to your house to just hang out, she had brought some clothes over so she could leave to the kegger after your house. But she wanted you to join her. 

As she was getting ready in your room, you were snuggled up in your bed, watching her mumble some song lyrics that were playing in your room. Sarah always looked pretty, but she would always outdo herself when it comes to parties. She loved going to them and she loved the thrill of being at them. The adrenaline rushes you get and the energy that everyone has bounces off each other.

“You should come,” Sarah said, sending you out of your trace.

“What?”

“You should come. You haven’t been to a party in forever” she looked back at you.

“That isn’t true. Remember I would go to Jayden’s friend’s parties” you remind her, she rolled her eyes at the name of Jayden.

“Yeah, but those don’t count. I mean you haven’t been to a party with me in forever. If you don’t come right, you’ll have a shitty summer”

“This summer has already been shit.” you roll your eyes. Sarah walked to the side of your bed and pouted.

“I would be really happy if you came Y/n. I miss you”

You laugh, “I’m right here. You saw me yesterday and the day before that and the day before that you even brought Kie.”

“I miss the fun you have.”

You stood silent. The words hurt. Not because Sarah said it in a mean way, but because she was true. You haven’t been having fun, with anyone. You were different. More bland and private. Sarah used to be able to read you completely. Now you built a wall, so thick and so high that she hasn’t been able to break through it.

“Y/n,” Sarah says quietly, looking at you in your eyes. “What did JJ say on the boat?”

Your eyes leave hers. You didn’t want to tell her. You don’t want to. You didn’t want her to think of JJ differently. You didn’t want her to hate her boyfriend’s best friend. But god did you need to get it off of your chest.

“Just promise you won’t think of him differently” Sarah nodded.

“I said promise, Sarah,” you said, your voice stern.

Sarah was confused at the change of tone, “I promise I won’t think of him differently. And I won’t hate him”

You looked at her and nodded.

“After you guys left us, we didn’t talk. I was waiting for him to talk to me. Then the sun started to set and my phone had died, I thought to make a peace offering, I could give him our stash since you guys didn’t leave us food.” 

“I told John B you guys needed something but continue”

You smiled at her for a second. “Let me just say, JJ was pissed that you guys left us alone. Like he was distraught, more so than me. And I only know that because was on the edge of where you guys left us, looking in the direction you left in. But I tried to give him the chips and talk to him but he just refused. We started arguing per usual but this time he just seemed angrier. He was saying things about how I chose to be friends with the pogues and how I could’ve been friends with kooks. He then went on to say how none of you guys liked hanging out with me and gave me reasons why you put up with me”

Sarah’s heart dropped. She knew JJ, and she knew that wasn’t like JJ. She knew what she was going to do at the party.

“I know now, he’s just an idiot and wasn’t thinking before he spoke. He was just upset. He even apologized after he said it, and tried apologizing the morning after. And I don’t fully forgive him. But hearing what he was saying hurt Sarah, terribly. At that moment I thought they were true. So I told him I wouldn’t be around you guys anymore, and I wasn’t around you guys.” 

“Can I hug you?”

You nodded, Sarah getting closer to you as you both wrapped your arms around each other. “I’m so sorry that happened. None of what he said is true. I’ll talk to him tonight”

“No, don’t.” You cut her off. Sarah separated herself, confused. “I just.. I don’t want him to be mad that I told someone. I don’t want him to hate me more than he does”

Sarah laughed, “he doesn’t hate you, Y/n. He never did. He just needed to find a reason to hate you. But since you don’t want me to talk about him, I won’t.” She lied. Of course, she was going to tell him. She knew he wouldn’t be upset, but even if he did, she wouldn’t have cared.

“Thanks” you smiled at her. Sarah smiled and got up from the bed, going to your closet. Your brows knit together. “What are you doing?”

“I’m picking out your outfit for the kegger”

You sat up from your bed, “Who said I was going?”

“I did” Sarah smiled.

“Sarah, I don’t have an outfit, my hair isn’t done, and it’ll take me too long to get ready. I can’t go”

Sarah pulled out a short black dress you had stuffed in your closet long ago. “You have an outfit, I can do your hair and makeup. It’ll be quiet” Sarah said a devilish smile on her face.

“What about my mom?”

“Y/n, you walk out of your house all the time. What’s stopping you now? Just come to the kegger.”

“What if Jayden’s there?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “he’s not gonna be there, and if he is fuck him. Show him what he cheated on. He’s a loser anyone so it shouldn’t matter if he was there or not.”

You thought about it. A smile crept on your face. You nodded and Sarah squealed loudly. She pulled you out of bed and sat you down on your vanity. She pulled your hair down and quickly went to work, taming the beast you developed over time. Not long after she started to do your makeup, telling you how excited she was you were going. Giggling at just the thought before everything started. She told you how excited Pope and John B were gonna be, she even included JJ in it.

Once she was done with your makeup you got changed in your bathroom, once you were in the dress you looked at yourself in the mirror. You knew you were gonna get clod but who cares? You looked more like yourself than you did when you were with Jayden. You liked how you looked, Sarah did a good job making it look like it took hours to get ready. 

“Are you gonna come out or stay locked up in your bathroom forever?” Sarah called out from the outside. You laughed and opened the door, her mouth opening the minute she saw you. “You look so hot!” she squealed loudly.

“I feel like it too,” you say, Sarah, laughing.

“This is so exciting. I can’t wait to get you drunk” Sarah giggled.

“No way, I’m the DD. I agreed to go, you have to agree with me now” 

Sarah pouted and gave you puppy eyes. “That may work on John b, but it doesn’t work on me. So give me your keys, I’m driving and let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

Sarah smirked, “don’t make me makeout with you right now,” she said, you both laughed, and eventually Sarah gave you the car keys as you both got into the car.

Sarah was controlling the music the whole time while you were driving to the beach. She was yelling and screaming every lyric to every song she played. Her voice just never got tired and it made you laugh the entire time. You joined her for a couple of songs, but you mainly enjoyed the show. You missed this.

When you parked the car Sarah got out after seeing her boyfriend from the window. She smiled at the way she clung onto him like he was her lifeline. You wished you had something like that, but the last thing you needed right now was boy troubles.

You locked the door and walked up to where Sarah was, who was just with the pogues, except JJ. When you showed up John B and Pope’s eyes lit up. Pope hugged you immediately, “God I missed you. I was starting to lose brain cells with these guys,” he said. You just laughed. “Long time no see,” John B said.

“Yeah, Long time no see. Missed you guys” You respond, John B awes you and hugs you.

“Can we please share her? I need to hug her too” Kie said. 

“You saw her two days ago. I haven’t seen her in almost three months” John B defended himself, still keeping you close.

Kie pulled John B away from you and hugged you gently, “Are you back now?” she asked. The rest of the pogues behind Kie waiting for an answer. You roll your eyes playfully, “since you insist” you say.

They cheer, everyone now excited to have you around again. John B gets you a cup filled with some liquor, “I’m the DD tonight, can’t” you respond.

“But it’s your first night back” Kie pleaded with you.

“I know, but I want to make sure everyone is okay for the night. Next one I’ll drink” you promised them. The pogues nodded and John B took whatever was inside the cup for you.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and catching up. You and Kie finally talk about what happened since you were gone, bringing up the fact that JJ was different. 

“Where is he anyway?” you asked.

“He was here before you showed up, probably off with some girl” Kie responded, going back to how everything was.

You felt a pang in your heart with the thought of him with someone else. This wasn’t the first time you felt that pang when someone mentioned JJ with a girl. But there wasn’t much you could do about it. So you chose to do what you always did, ignored it.

You spoke to John B about Sarah, and how much she missed you while you were gone. But when she started going over to your house every day that she was happier than ever. He acknowledged what happened with Jayden and said he was sorry for what happened. John B always felt like a brother to you, so it was no surprise that your heart grew warm when he felt bad. You told him not to worry about it and to just focus on Sarah tonight and have fun.

You then moved on to Pope who had, so many things to tell you. He was never a big drinker so he was soberer than you are you thought. He told you all of his thoughts and theories he had when you were away. He was giving you updates about schools and such and explained he missed having deep, thoughtful conversations with you. Out of the corner of your eye though, you saw a girl looking at him. You whispered it into his ear and when he looked she blushed. You took that as a sign to find Sarah as you told him to shoot his shot.

You went looking for a certain blond. You hadn’t seen him the entire time you were there and you were beginning to think he left at some point. Sarah found you first though, so when she saw you, she pulled you and started to dance with you. You could tell Sarah was already drunk but you didn’t mind it, the whole point of the kegger was to get drunk and have fun.

You’ve been at the kegger for a couple of hours now, talking to other people, meeting the last of the tourins that were the last on the island. You were enjoying yourself, completely sober, and still having a good time. 

But then you saw him. 

Hanging out with his friends. Pointing at you and looking back at his friends. You were gonna ignore him, he didn’t deserve your time of day. Once the laughing got louder you chose to try to walk away. You didn’t want to start something at the kegger, not after everything you’ve been this summer already.

But once you started to walk away, someone bed your arm. You quickly turn around and it’s April. Jayden’s other girl friend, or maybe someone else he was sleeping with.

“Y/n, where’d you go? Come join us” April said.

You shook your head quickly, “I’m sorry April. I have to get back to my friends” you say, putting your hand on top of her’s so she could let go. 

“We just wanted to talk to you, it’ll take five minutes. Tops.” April smiled, you were cautious. You looked around the kegger for any sign of your friends so you could get out of this situation. But you couldn’t find one, not even Sarah who had been dancing the whole night. When you looked back you were already being dragged back to April and the rest of Jayden’s friends.

“Y/n!” Kolton called out, you awkwardly smiled. He was standing in between his friends, looking at you up and down. Smirking.

“We haven’t seen you in forever. Just because Jayden was fucking Diana doesn’t mean you should ditch us” Austin slurred, the rest of them laughing with him.

“Hey could you guys make this quick, I have to be with my friends,” you tell them, visibly uncomfortable.

“Your friends that you left? That you replaced?” Alana started, “if they were your friends you wouldn’t have replaced them. Stay here with us” you looked at Jayden since he was the only person who knew about the pogues, he didn’t know why you left them, just the fact that you spaced yourself from them.

“I’m sorry if you guys aren’t gonna say something worth my time, I’ll get going,” you say, beginning to walk away. But Jayden had grabbed your wrist.

“Don’t worry about them, I just wanted to talk to you. We’re all drunk” Jayden confessed, the rest of them laughing. You tried to pull your wrist away but he kept his hold on it.

“I just wanted to talk to you.” He repeats, one of his hands caressing your cheek, the other still on your wrist. You moved your face away from his touch.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Jayden”

He scoffed. “You don’t want to talk to me? Why? Because I was fucking someone behind your back?” he laughed. “It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. I mean it doesn’t seem like it is now. You’re at a party, dancing like a slut. Talking to other guys” 

Your eyes widened at his words. He probably won’t even remember this in the morning. You didn’t care about him, you never loved him, and he was just your boyfriend for a little over a month. You shouldn’t even count that as a relationship.

But if he didn’t matter, why are his words making you upset?

“I should’ve guessed you liked being thrown around. If I did I could’ve given my boys a chance. Right guys?” he asked his friends

“You know I was already asking for it,” Rafael said.

“I don’t like used-up whores” Kolton responded with bitterness in his voice. His friends laughed at his comment.

“Come on, compared to April? It’ll be an upgrade” Garrett said.

“She’s been used up. I should know. And every other guy here knows it too” Jayden continues.

“Didn’t you say you were fucking Diana because I wasn’t giving it up to you? Retracing your words?” you remind him. Jayden smiles.

“That’s what was my favorite thing about you. You were always so feisty. It’s kinda turning me on now” he said getting closer. 

Your fight or flight kicks in finally, and you try to get his hand on your wrist. “Let go of me” you mumbled to him. His friends around him are saying awful things about it. Calling you a slut, a whore, ugly, dry, used up, fake, annoying. Everything in the books.

“Come on, Y/n. One last time” Jayden said, his lips getting close to yours. But you slap him just before he could. He was holding the side of his face with both of his hands, your wrists finally free.

“Leave me the fuck alone and get the fuck off the island,” You said sternly, you walked away from them and went straight to where the drinks were. 

Their words to you shouldn’t matter, they don’t matter to you. Just some random people you knew for a month at most. Then why are you washing down their insults with drinks? You were taking shots, anyone that handed you a drink, you took, you even made your own. With the alcohol in your system, you forgot everything they said, you forgot everything that happened over the summer. It didn’t matter anymore, you were having fun.

JJ had been watching you from the minute you showed up, from afar obviously. He could tell you were looking for him at some points, but he didn’t have the guts to go up to you. So he just stood watching. 

Usually, JJ would have a drink, but he didn’t have one. You may hate him and he saw that you weren’t drinking but he just wanted to make sure you were okay. He saw the way you spoke to John B, Kie, Pope, he saw the way you danced with Sarah. You looked like you needed this break from the world. He saw you speaking to some old friends and saw you speak with some new ones, but you looked okay.

He saw someone walk up to you, a very drunk girl. He saw you look around but you end up being pulled away. JJ is about to walk up to you but someone else gets his attention.

“JJ!” Sarah calls, sloppily walking over to him, JJ meets her halfway and laughs, his back now facing where you were. 

“Sarah, how much have you had to drink?” JJ asked, still laughing.

“Not enough, but that isn’t why I came over here. I wanted to talk to you about Y/n” she slurred her words, but JJ understood every word. His face became serious when your name was mentioned.

“She told me what happened on the boat. And I just want you to know that I don’t hate you. I really like you.” Sarah says, “but I know you like Y/n”

JJ’s face turned pink, he felt blessed that it was night and Sarah wasn’t able to see that well. “What? Where’d you get that idea” he asked her.

“You’re always asking for her JJ. You’re always looking for her, even before the boat thing. I want you to know I get it, you have abandonment issues. So do I, look at my mom. But I don’t want those issues to define who you are and how you are around people” Sarah’s words are combined, but JJ is listening. “I know you like her. I know you think you shouldn’t be with her. I think the same thing with John B. But you know what I do? I show him more love and affection than he’s ever had before.”

Sarah pauses to catch her breath, drinking what’s in her red solo cup. “And she doesn’t hate you. She never has hated you. I always told John B that you two would look so cute together. And you guys would. But I need you to be better to her, JJ. I need you to forget about your issues for a second and show her who you truly are.” she ranted, “If you want her, you’re gonna have to work harder than before, But it’ll be worth it because she’s worth it. You need to fight for her. She likes you too JJ. That’s why she took your words so seriously. Cause your opinion matters to her more than John B’s or Pope’s or Kie’s. Maybe even mine” Sarah laughed at the last sentence. “So be kind to her, show her how you truly feel about her, and make sure you love her more than she loves you. Because of you don’t, I’ll break your neck” she laughed even louder than before.

JJ was thinking about her words, and even though she was drunk, she wasn’t wrong. JJ has always liked you, he thinks he always will like you. JJ was always a player but when you showed up, he got worse because of it. It came to the point where he imagined you instead of the girl he was actually with. 

John B came over and put his arm around Sarah, “what’s happening over here?” he laughs, sipping his drink now too. John B is now drunk, to be expected.

“I was just telling JJ that he should be with Y/n and that he likes her and that she likes him back” Sarah filled him in, and John B’s mouth opened.

“Dude, I’ve been saying for like ever. It came to the point where I thought you were in love with her” John B laughs, “and she likes you back”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Sarah said loudly, both her and her boyfriend now laughing.

“Then when they start dating we can go on double dates. We’ll be so cute, all of us” Sarah commented. 

“Just go for it. I know she means a lot to you, she always had.” John B said.

“Do I mean a lot to you?” Sarah asked him.

“Of course baby. I love you” John B said.

“I love you too,” Sarah said, their lips then locked on each, making out in front of JJ. 

He internally threw up in his mouth and turned around, but when he looked back he didn’t see you anymore. His eyes scattered everywhere and he couldn’t find you. He saw the new friends you made, he saw the mini bar, he saw some kooks, he saw a guy with his friends holding his face, he saw where you danced earlier.

JJ decided to make himself be seen, he saw Kie who was talking to some girl about ocean stuff. Kie also being drunk.

“Hey, have you seen Y/n?” JJ asked

“No, but she was looking for you earlier. Did you see her earlier she was looking so hot” Kie confessed. 

“Yeah, she was. If you see her, tell me” JJ said moving along to Pope.

“Hey man, I haven’t seen you in a while,” Pope said, clearly sober as day.

“Yeah, just been watching. Have you seen Y/n?”

Pope shook his head, “last time I saw her she was taking shots with some guys. When I went up to her she gave me Sarah’s keys.” he said holding them out.

JJ nodded, he took out the keys to the twinkie, “here, take these. You’ll drive John B and Sarah home tonight. I’ll take Kie and Y/n” 

Pope nodded to the new plan, the two of them traded keys and JJ walked away. He was now looking for you. He started to ask random people if they saw you, everyone saying something different.

Forty-five minutes had passed since he spoke to Pope and he still hasn’t found you. It was 3 AM and the kegger was still alive as ever. JJ was looking for you everywhere and he couldn’t find the girl who last spoke to you. Once JJ walked further down the beach, he then saw a familiar pretty girl in a familiar pretty black dress.

You were wobbling all over the place, talking to some random guy about your problems. Your words were slurring worst than Sarah’s who you saw ten minutes okay. But you then hear a familiar voice.

“Y/n?” he says.

You turn around and there he is. You excuse yourself from the guy, and cling to him “JJ!” you say excitingly.

JJ was so confused, the last time he saw you, you were stone-cold sober. Now he’s seeing you towards the water, wobbling around, talking to the air, and excusing yourself from the same air to hug him tightly. 

“I missed you so much,” you say to him, your head in his chest. You were way too drunk for him to try to stall to wait for Kie. He decided he would take you home right there, Pope could take Kie with him.

“Hey, we’re gonna go home okay?” 

All you do was nod, separate yourself from him, and start walking with him, wobbling next to him. JJ noticed it immediately and held onto you, his hand on your side to pull you close to him, your arm around his shoulders. 

JJ began to look for Pope who he found quickly, he raised his eyebrows and looked at you. Pope got the memo and nodded, now watching Kie. Once JJ knew he walked to Sarah’s car, you were babbling the whole way there. And once you got to the car you were silent, JJ opened the backseat so you could lie down.

He made sure you were comfortable and secure, once he knew you were he went in the driver’s seat. The minute he started driving, you started to speak up again.

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“I’m dropping you off home,” JJ said.

“No no no no no. I don’t want to go home. I want to go to John B’s house. Where you stay”

“Are you sure? I could take you to your hou-”

“No!” you demanded, “Alright, calm down,” JJ said.

“Hey, next one’s on me” 

“Whatever you say, cupcake”

You laughed quietly in the back, then it slowly became louder. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“So you know about Jayden right? The guy that cheated on me? Well, he was the keeger and his friends were saying so many things to me. Like really mean things, and so was he. But tonight I-” you cut yourself off with your laughter. “I slapped him” you laughed even louder than before.

JJ stood silent, letting you speak longer. “It was so funny, you should’ve seen his face. You should’ve been there,” you said then you were quiet for a while. “Why weren’t you there?” you asked quietly.

JJ looked at you through his top mirror and then looked back at the road. He cleared his throat, “I was there” he responded.

“No, you weren’t. I kept looking for you and looking for you and I couldn’t find you. I thought you were with a girl. Were you?”

“No, I was watching you”

“Like a stalker?”

JJ was silent. Now that you say it like that it sounded creepy. He was just looking out for you but that’s something else a stalker would say. The more he thought about it the more it made him uncomfortable, but you sent him out of his trance with you giggling.

“JJ Maybank is my stalker” you giggled to yourself. JJ stood quiet letting you have your moment.

“Jayden was so boring anyway, I was out of his league anyway.” 

“You sure are” 

“You haven’t even seen him and you’re agreeing. That’s how you know I’m right” JJ laughed at your drunken state. Your words slurring together and the way you’re trying so hard to form a sentence is so cute to him.

“He just wanted to hangout with his boring friends all the time. And I always had to take him because he didn’t know how to drive” you laughed. “Do you know how I found out he cheated on me? We were meant to meet Sarah and then when I got to his house, I found him in bed with his girl space friend. Might as well be his actual girlfriend for how long they were fucking each other, it started before he and I started dating, which wasn’t long but still. And you know what excuse he gave? Because we never had sex, isn’t that childish?” You ranted.

JJ has only ever heard what Sarah has told him, so hearing you say how it went, made JJ upset. More than upset. It felt like when he first heard you got cheated on. He never found out why he cheated on you, but now that he does, he’s angry about it. He cheated on you because he needed to fuck someone and you weren’t willing? He’s a fucking idiot he thought. “You wouldn’t do that, would you JJ?” you ask him.

“No, not to you”

“Not to me or in general?”

“Both,” he said.

You and JJ stood silent. 

“JJ do you hate me?” you ask.

He looks at you through the mirror again, “I could never hate you, Y/n”

“Are you mad at me?

JJ was quiet for a moment, “no. Never.”

You giggled, “you know what I realized, his name is Jayden, and your name is JJ. Isn’t that funny?” you laughed. “What’s even funnier is how you both have the same basic features. His hair is almost blond and he has blue eyes too” 

JJ tilted his head to the side slightly after hearing the news. He thinks he knows who you’re talking about, mainly because he thinks he’s seen him at the wreck with some girl.

“But don’t worry JJ. You’re my favorite blue-eyed person. I can’t say blond because of Sarah. But you’re my favorite guy with blond hair”

JJ smiled, “thanks Y/n. You’re my favorite too” 

He pulls up to the chateau, once he puts the car in park and grabs the keys, he’s already going straight to the back. He scootches you closer to him so he could pick you up instead of making you walk, and he does.

You grab on around JJ’s neck as he carries you bridal style into the chateau and into the room he usually sleeps in. JJ places you on the bed and takes out a pair of sweatpants for you to wear. 

“I know you’re wearing a dress. Put these on, I’ll be right outside the door, and tell me when I could come in” JJ said, leaving you with the sweatpants. When he’s out he hears some groans and mumbles, but nothing too serious. He grabs a bucket and fills it with a little bit of water, a rag, and makeup wipes that Sarah had left, waiting at the door for you.

You open the door to let him back in and when JJ looks at you, you’re not only in his sweatpants but in his shirt, when he wants in he sees the discarded dress on the floor. “This is for you, you could take it off in the bathroom,” JJ said, handing you the makeup wipes.

You look at him in awe. Like he just hung the moon and the stars. And maybe in your drunken state, he did. You take the wipes and went to the bathroom closing the door behind you. JJ places the bucket close to the bed just in case you have an accident in the middle of the night and he isn’t there.

He takes his extra time to change into the same attire as you, a shirt with sweatpants. Usually, he wouldn’t have a shirt but, out of being a gentleman, he will tonight.

You walk out of the bathroom and hand him back the wipes, climbing into bed. JJ puts them away and goes back to you, crouching down so you could be at your level. “I’m gonna sleep on the sofa bed, when Kie gets here she can sleep in here with you. If you need anything just wake me up. I left a bucket f-” JJ was cut off.

But he wasn’t cut off by your words, or by the pogues coming home. He was cut off by a kiss, a kiss you gave him. It was unlike you. JJ was stunned for a moment, but his body moved as in instinct. Your lips were soft and warm. He can taste the alcohol from your lips. If it was any other situation, he would’ve deepened the kiss, grabbing your face. Pulling you closer so your bodies could collide with each other. He would’ve shown you how long he had been waiting and hungry for it but he didn’t think he deserved it. 

But he pulls away from you. When he does, he rests his forehead against yours, and you’re pouting at him. Disappointed in him. “Did I do something wrong?” you ask, sounding like you were about to cry.

“No, baby. No No. I just-” he was thinking of the right words to say. “You’re drunk, Y/n. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret or forget about in the morning”

“But I won’t regret or forget about it J.” You tell him. 

JJ doesn’t know how to respond to that. The only thing he knows how to do is to kiss your cheek to keep you satisfied, which it does. He stands up straight.

“If I were sober, would you have kissed me back?” you giggled. You knew the answer, you just wanted him to say it. JJ rolled his eyes playfully, walking to the door. “Wait where are you going?” you sat up from the bed. 

“I told you I’ll sleep on the couch” 

“Stay here”

JJ looks between you and the door. “Y/n, I don’t think I-”

“Please.”

You flashed your puppy eyes at him, your first time doing it to him. He never understood how you were able to get whatever with it. But now he does. 

He sighs and slowly walks to the bed, slipping under the covers next to you. He feels the heat you’ve gained from under the blanket, he also feels you relax. Once he’s laying down, you wrap your arms around him, leaving a hand on top of his chest. JJ relaxes and puts an arm around your shoulders, keeping you close. His closes for a second, but once you move your hand on top of his chest slightly, he opens them again.

He notices the black and blue mark around your wrist, “Y/n” he whispers. You hum in response, too tired to answer anything anymore. “Who did that to your wrist?”

Your breathing pauses for a beat or two but continues soon after. “Jayden,” you said quietly. “And why did he do that?” he continues to speak in whispers, but you hum back at him. “You can tell me, baby. Why did he make a bruise on your wrist?” he asked, closing his eyes and leaning his head against yours.

You breathed in and out, “He and his friends were saying things about me. Calling me a slut, commenting on my dress, and who I was with. Telling me how easy I was, just saying mean things to me. When I tried to he wouldn’t let go after I told him to. He just kept talking and I think he was about to kiss me. But once I slapped him he let go though. And I left after that J.” 

“And then you got drunk afterward?”

You hum, JJ is quiet. “Are you mad at me?”

JJ shakes his head lightly, “no. Never.”

 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

JJ had woken up twice. 

The first time was very early in the morning, and you were still in each other’s arms. You holding onto him especially tight. He had opened his eyes and once he saw you, he went back to sleep.

And again in the afternoon. The chateau was quiet, he knew everyone was sleeping. He noticed that the warm body that was next to him was no longer next to him. He wouldn’t be lying if he said he wasn’t upset you were no longer next to him. But he reminds himself you couldn’t have gone far, you didn’t have a car and you’re most definitely hungover.

JJ got up from the bed, rubbed his eyes, and made his way out of the familiar room, his dress still on the floor as he passed by it. He walks out of the room quietly and slowly, Pope sleeping in a small chair and Kie sleeping on the couch. He looks out the door and sees a familiar someone, the person he wanted to see when he woke up. 

When he walked out of the house you were sitting on the edge of the dock, the hms pogue boat on your right. You hadn’t noticed a new person was there with you until the wood you were sitting on started to make noise, it didn’t take a genius to know it was him. 

He stood standing as you were still sitting in his sweatpants and shirt. It was silent for a minute, a silence that made you both want to rip off your skin. But you didn’t. Because he broke the silence.

“Hey”

That’s all he said, after everything, last night all he had to say was hey. 

“Hi,” you said quietly.

“How are you holding up?”

“Other than a major migraine and a bucket full of embarrassment. I’m peachy”

JJ smiled a bit, he’s happy you were able to see it though. “Do you remember anything that happened last night? You got drunk pretty quickly”

“Yeah I remember” JJ stood quiet for a minute. He wanted to make you remember everything that happened last night. From when you first started drinking to when you asked him to stay in bed with you. 

“Everything?” He asked quietly.

You knew what he was talking about. The kiss.

You looked back at him and looked up to look at hin the eyes, “everything.”

JJ breathes in and out quietly, you turn back to the water. “Do you remember how excited everyone was to see you?” You smiled at the reminder. The smiles on their faces. You nodded in response. “They really missed you. I’m sure you already know that, they most likely told you. Does this mean you’re staying?”

You sighed. You didn’t know what you were gonna do. You planned on staying last night, but now with this thing with JJ. The boundaries you crossed. You don’t think you’ll ever be his friend after this, you’ll always feel that feeling of something more, little did you know so would he.

“I don’t know” you answered truthfully. 

JJ stood up straighter, he was confused. You were having so much fun last night, it looked so natural to you. The thought of you not coming back and his friends being upset again crushed him.

“What do you mean? I thought you were gonna back up”

“Things have changed JJ, especially now. I don’t think I can put myself through it, not again”

“Y/n, our fighting isn’t going to happen again. They need you around. You don’t understand what it was like when you were gone.”

You scoffed at that. You didn’t understand what you were going through. He doesn’t understand what you went through.

“I went through the same thing as they did, if not worse.”

“You aren’t seriously comparing the two are you?”

You stood up from the edge of the dock, you turned to face him. “I am because you don’t get to tell me what they felt when I had to deal with the guilt of leaving.”

“And you’re willing to feel that guilt again?” You scoffed at his words, beginning to walk past him. “I can’t tell you what to do but I can encourage you to stay. They want you around Y/n, they need you around” he went on to say, you continued to walk away.

“I need you around”

You stopped. You felt so many emotions. There was a part of you that wanted to run back to him and smother him with kisses. The other half of you wanted to yell and scream in his face for how he treated you.

So you listened to that other half.

You turned around quickly and looked like you were on a mission. “That’s real funny of you JJ because three months ago you wanted nothing to do with me. Now you say you need. Do you need me to be around you? If you need someone around you don’t treat them like shit and that’s exactly what you did to me.” 

“Y/n, listen-”

“No, you listen!” you yelled, not caring if the pogues woke up and see you yelling at him. “I was nothing but nice to you and you treated me like I was trash. Like I wasn’t there like I didn’t exist. Like I didn’t matter. But now. Now! I matter. After I kiss you when I’m drunk, I matter!” 

JJ was silent. You had every right to yell at him, he did this. He made you like this. He understands how the switch-up confuses you. He knows he deserves every second of this, this is something he’s willing to take. So he just lets it happen.

“You remember when I asked you why you hated me? Do you? And you always told me that it was because I was a kook. What about now? Does it still matter I’m still a kook? Or does it just go away?! Tell me JJ. Does it just go away?!” you push his chest. 

“I had to leave my friends because of you! I got into a relationship to forget the feeling! To forget the thought that I abandoned them! And you did that! You made me abandon my friends! It’s not fair how you made me leave them and now you’re telling me they want me back. That you need me back!” You look up at him and all you see are his sad blue eyes.

You push his chest again, and again, and again, and again. There were tears quickly coming down your face, and you were yelling at him. Telling him how it wasn’t fair. Telling him he’s a dickhead. Telling him how you hate how he makes you feel. Telling him how you feel right now.

JJ wrapped his arms around you as you tried to keep pushing. Stopping once he was too close so you just sobbed into him, wrapping your arms around him too. JJ kept kissing the top of your head, trying to soothe you and call you down. He just wanted to be with you.

You hated him right now. Sometimes people say things out of anger. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean. But not you. You meant every word. And you wanted to make sure he knew you meant it, and he did know. 

You did feel like it was unfair. You knew he was a dickhead. You felt angry. And you did hate how he makes you feel. You want to fully hate him. But you can’t, even if you try to convince yourself, you can’t. 

Once you calmed down, JJ pulled away slightly, but you held him closer. You didn’t want to let him go you didn’t want to go back to how you were before. You didn’t want to go back to reality. You wanted to stay here, clinging onto him, and not thinking about anything else.

But once JJ tried to slip away again, you knew it wasn’t possible. 

He looked at you, but you weren’t looking back at him, staring at the floor. JJ lifted your chin to look at him. Once you did he wiggled his other hand to wrap it around your hand. He held your hand so gently, but he still had a good grip on you. 

“I’m so sorry for everything. For the way, I treated you over the years, for the words I’ve said to you. I’m sorry for what I said on the boat. I’m sorry for making you leave us. I’m sorry for not being there for you when I should’ve been. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t there like you didn’t exist like you didn’t matter. Because you do matter. You matter to me. You always have” 

There were tears still streaming down your face, but now JJ was matching you. He didn’t realize he was crying until the droplet was hanging from his face. 

“You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean JJ,” you said quietly.

“But I do mean them. I mean all of them.” 

“JJ-” 

He kisses you. His hand is on the side of your side to keep you close. He was gentle with you, but you felt the hunger from his lips. You felt the longing and felt how bad he wanted this, needed this even. It wasn’t sloppy like last night, it wasn’t a chance he took. It was passionate. It was hard. It was perfect.

He was so warm. He smelled like leftover cologne and wood. JJ’s eyes were closed. His nose was brushing against your’s but you didn’t mind it. His lips feel smooth and it was obvious JJ was a good kisser. He wasn’t rough with you, he wanted you to feel it this time. 

For the first second and a half, you stopped breathing. But you eventually kissed him back, closing your eyes with him. Your hands were on his face and his neck and once he felt you kiss back the hand that once held yours was holding your waist, pulling you close. 

His mind fogged up with just you. Only you. Nothing and no one else, just you. All those hookups meant nothing because right now you’re with him. All those years of yearning for you finally came true.

Your mind fogged up with just him. You’ve always liked JJ, maybe you even loved him. But all the memories from before came rushing back. All of them. 

You pulled back, JJ following you. But then he couldn’t follow you anymore. You both were breathing heavily. Again, his forehead leaning against yours. 

“J,” you said, your voice breathy.

JJ doesn’t respond, waiting for you to finish.

“I have to go,” you say.

His heart dropped. He knew what you meant. He knew what you were trying to stay. He doesn’t want you to go, he doesn’t want you to leave him. 

“No… Stay”

“I have to go, J” stepping away from him, looking into his eyes.

“You asked me last night if you were sober and if I would’ve kissed you back. And I would have. I would’ve kissed you at the kegger. I would’ve kissed you on the boat. I would’ve kissed you at the chateau. I would’ve kissed you when I first met you. Please don’t go”

“I can’t J.” your hands leave him.

“Let me take you home at least, please Y/n.” he pleaded with you.

You shook your head at him. “I can’t let you do that J,” you said

“Why not?”

“Cause then I’ll stay here,” you said softly.

JJ just sighed, looking up at the sky for a second, his eyes getting watery again. He then looked at the ground to avoid eye contact with him.

“I’m taking Sarah’s keys. When she wakes up if you could tell her”

JJ never responded, just silently crying, looking at the ground. You walked towards him and grabbed ahold of his wrist and shoulder to keep your balance. JJ saw the bruise around your wrist again. And you kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you around JJ” you whispered.

You then walked back into the chateau, you were crying too now. You just kept wiping your tears when you walked inside the chateau. You grabbed the car keys and quickly walked out, looking at JJ one last time.

He was crouched down, his arms folded and his head on them. He would move slightly. He was sobbing.

You looked away and got into Sarah’s car, starting it and driving away from him. 

Much to JJ’s unlucky life, the pogues had seen and watched the scene. When you walked in Kie and Pope pretended to still be asleep but you didn’t even glance at them. JJ was out on the dock for an hour before he wiped his tears and went back inside the chateau. When he walked in, the pogues all looked at him. 

He didn’t want to deal with them and their questions right now so he just went back to the room you slept in and locked the door behind him. He went into bed, your scent still engraved in the sheets even when you weren’t there for long. When he sat up from the bed, he saw your dress in the corner of the room.

JJ closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. Wanting nothing more than to just have you with him again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

Now and again you would go back to the chateau but only went JJ wasn’t around. Usually, he was working and Sarah would promise you he wouldn’t be there for a while. You would go in your car and just hang out with them like you used to. You even had a chance to surf with them. 

But when he came back, before he could even see you, you would quickly say your goodbyes and leave in your car. That’s the only reason why you would bring your car, it was so you could make a quick exit. 

Fortunately for you, the pogues never pestered you with questions. They never asked why you were avoiding JJ. It seemed like they were just happy to have you around. But you felt the absence when you were there. There was a missing piece.

Unfortunately for JJ, they always asked him questions. Every time they saw him they asked him why you were avoiding him. He would simply say, “you guys saw what happened. I don’t know” and then go to the room he stood in.

They wanted you both back together but the boat idea was out of the question, and that ruined everything for everyone. So they didn’t know what they were going to do now.

Today JJ was with the pogues at the wreck, helping Kie do her job. John B’s keys with her mom and Sarah’s phone with her dad so they couldn’t get distracted. But now they were just taking a break, all of them outside of the wreck. Talking about nonsense.

A car full of people pulled up to the parking lot. They were extremely loud, the pogues glancing at them a few times but continuing their conversation. Three girls and three girls get out of the car.

“They look familiar” Sarah mumbled, the pogues then looking at them as they walked to the entrance.

A guy got out of the passenger seat, “make sure it comes quick!” he said, leaning against the car. 

“Oh my god,” Sarah said, “What?” Pope asked confused.

The guy’s friends laughed and walked into the wreck, the guy now scrolling on his phone.

“That’s Jayden,” Sarah said. JJ looked at the guy, with light brown hair, and blue eyes. It was him.

“Whose Jayden?” John B asked, getting overprotective. 

“Y/n’s ex. The guy that cheated on her over the summer. She showed me pictures of him and his friends one time.” 

“Is he? JJ and I have seen him with some girl, it was the girl with the dark hair” Kie said.

“That’s Diana! Oh my god, don’t look at him. I don’t know if Y/n showed me what I look like. Act like we’re having a conversation” Sarah said, looking away, Jayden not even noticing the pogues.

“We were having a conversation,” Pope said plainly.

“You know what I mean!” Sarah whisper yelled. 

The conversation they were just having again picked up, but JJ didn’t engage in it this time. He just kept staring at him. He never left his sight. The bruise on your wrist flashed in his eyes. The memories of what you said he and his friends were saying to you popped up in his mind. JJ just saw red. 

He stood up, the pogues not noticing at first. 

“You’re Jayden, right?” JJ asked, walking to him.

Jayden looked up and looked JJ up and down. He looked confused. The pogues looked up once they heard JJ’s voice.

“Yeah, why?” Jayden responded.

Not even a second later JJ punched him in the face, Jayden getting low to the ground.

“JJ!” Kie yelled, the rest of the pogues getting up to stop him.

But JJ never stopped, he just kept punching him, and punching him, and punching him. He couldn’t stop. He just kept thinking of the bruise, and your face when you told when what they said. He kept thinking of you.

Eventually, the pogues finally pulled JJ off, “What the fuck man?” Jayden yelled, blood leaking out of his nose.

“Why don’t you give me a bruise huh?! Give me one!” JJ yelled out. 

John B and Pope were trying to calm JJ down, holding him back away from Jayden. The both of them yelled at each other, Sarah trying to calm down Jayden from the other side of the parking lot.

Because of the amount of noise outside, people started to notice, includg Jayden’s friends who walked out.

“Diana, call the cops,” one of them said, the dark-haired girl nodding.

“No, don’t call the cops!” Kie said, the girl just looking at Kie like she was crazy.

“You think you can just cheat on her and not face the consequences?!” JJ yelled

“Holy shit, you’re with Y/n?” Jayden laughed. 

“That slut?” one of the girls laughed.

“What did you just say?” Sarah asked, walking to the girl that said it. 

“Sarah, don’t.” John B warned.

“I should’ve known she had a thing for dirt. I’m not surprised, she’s dirty herself” Jayden continued to laugh. 

“Say that again!” JJ yelled. 

JJ was itching to go back at him again, and he knew that if he kept talking about you. It wouldn’t end well.

“I called her slut, is there a problem?” the girl said.

“Yeah, it is a fucking problem. That’s my fucking best friend” Sarah got in the girl’s personal space. 

There was so much yelling going on, the boys were yelling at each other, Sarah and this random girl were coming up, and Diana was on the phone as Kie was arguing with another girl who wanted Diana to call the police.

“She’s all used up now and you still want that bitch? I could only imagine how slutty she is now” Jayden said.

That was JJ’s limit. 

JJ pushed John B and Pope off of him and went straight to Jayden, yet again punching him.

Jayden’s friends ran towards JJ and John B and Pope went to get them off of JJ. The boys have their brawl of three going against four.

Sarah took this as an opportunity to hit the girl in the face. Another girl came up from behind her but Kie went after her, that being the only fair fight of two going against two. Diana was already on the phone with the police. 

Multiple people from the restaurant ran outside to record the brawls instead of trying to stop them. The pogues seemed to be winning, JJ even holding his own when Jayden and one of his friends tried going after him together.

Not long after, the cops had shown up, separating everyone from everyone. Now it was a yelling match between the pogues and some random people on the island. The randoms had visibly more injuries than the pogues did. The only injured ones were Sarah and Kie who only had a scratch. The randoms had blood coming out of their noses, their cheeks were cut, and their lips were cut. And JJ knew he broke Jayden’s nose. They looked like they went through a brawl. While the pogues looked like they got a little dirty.

“Talk shit about my girl again and see what happens!” JJ yelled

“How you tried to fight her when she was already beating your friend’s ass?!” Kie yelled at the girl

“What did you think was gonna happen when you put your hands on him?!” John B yelled.

“Get the fuck off the island!” Sarah yelled.

“Don’t say shit you don’t mean” Pope yelled.

“Your girl? Or the island’s?!” Jayden yelled.

“You should’ve told your friend to back off man!” one of the guys yelled.

“She beat my ass?! Please” A girl yelled.

Everyone was being held back, the officer who had JJ having to work harder than the rest of them. JJ just kept pulling and pulling. He was ready to pounce on his prey and beat him again. Eventually, everyone was in handcuffs. The random guys with each other in one car, the two random girls in another with another random boy. Pope, JJ, and John B in one car, Sarah and Kie in another.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You were watching tv as you were eating your cereal. Sarah or Kie texted you that they be free and JJ was with them so you decided to keep yourself busy. You had just cleaned your room and bathroom, so you just needed a little break before you could do anything else.

Your phone started to ring next to you, and when you looked at the screen it was a random number. You usually don’t answer random numbers you don’t know, but something in you told you to answer this one, so you did.

“Hello?”

“Y/n! Thank god you answered. I need a small favor from you.”

“Sarah? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” 

“No actually. Uhm.” Sarah stopped for a second, she sounded like she was speaking to multiple people but went back to you. “We got arrested” 

You almost dropped your cereal, pausing your movie. You got up from the couch and walked to your kitchen. “We? Whose we? Who got arrested? How did you get arrested? Why did you get arr-” 

“John B, Pope, Kie, JJ. We were at the wreck and- I’ll tell you everything. But we just need you to bail us out. Please. I didn’t want to call my dad and he-” 

“Of course, I’m on my way,” you say, putting a hoodie over your shirt but keeping your shorts on.

“You’re a lifesaver, I owe you one,” Sarah said, the stress coming off of her shoulders.

“Don’t even worry about it. I’ll be there as quick as I can, alright?” You say putting on your shoes.

“We’ll be waiting,” Sarah said before hanging up.

You drove as quickly as you could to the Wreck. Grabbing something in your car before, getting out, and seeing Kie’s mom immediately. “Hi, uhm. I don’t know if you heard about Kie yet or not. But if you did don’t worry about it, I’m getting everything solved right now. But did they leave anything behind?” you ask her.

Kie’s mom nodded and made you follow her to the back, “This is Sarah’s phone and John B’s keys. I don’t how you get it done, just get them home. Safely” she responded, you nodded and quickly walked out.

You got in the twinkie instead, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fit all of the pogues in your car. You drove to the Sheriff’s department quickly, once you parked, and quickly walked in and went straight to Shoupe’s office.

The receptionist tried calling you to stop you but you didn’t care, when you walked into his office and the receptionist tried to stop you, Sheriff Shoupe stopped her.

“That’s alright, She can stay,” he said, putting his hand up to defend you. She huffed and walked back to where she usually sat. “What can I do for you today, pum-”

“I know you have my friends. I want them back” You say in a stern voice.

Shoupe sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You want your friends back” he repeats, more so for himself than for you. “Do you even know what they did? They got into a brawl with people from the mainland. This isn’t some stupid prank, JJ broke a boy’s nose”

You closed your eyes and breathed in and out. You knew the people from the mainland were Jayden and his friends. And you knew the boy JJ broke his nose was Jayden.

“And where are the people from the mainland now? Running free while my friends are-”

“They’re here with them if you would like to see them,” he said.

You ran a hand through your hair, you didn’t want to see them. Shoupe knew you were starting to get stressed.

“Y/n, does your mom know you’re here right now?”

You laughed at that, he was trying to scare you with your mom. She would be upset you were there, and she would be even more upset that you went to bail your friends out. But you didn’t care about that, not right now anyway. 

“Can’t I just bail my friends out? Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be”

“There’s a lot of paperwork that involves an adult. I’m sure you know that by now with JJ. I don’t think you would want to deal with that again. So Miss Y/l/n. You may leave my office right now” Shoupe said going back to his computer. 

You threw an orange envelope on his desk. Shoupe stopped what he was doing and looked at it. “What is this?” he asked

“Ten thousand dollars. Three thousand three hundred for my friends. Four thousand seventy for the mainlands. The rest of the two thousand, seven hundred, and forty dollars goes to you and the money you can use to make sure this incident isn’t on their records. On my friend’s records.”

“Are you bribing me, Miss Y/l/n?”

“I’m helping my friends. Ten thousand is my only and final number” You warned him. 

Shoupe was in thought, he was thinking about the choices he had here. He then spoke into one of those police speakers, “let the kids out. All of them” he said, you smiled and walked out of his office. 

None of the pogues went through the system and all of this was being kept off of their record, they were safe another day. Sarah was the first to walk out, running and hugging you when she saw you.

“You’re the best” she whispered in your ear. 

“Yeah I know” you laughed. 

Kie walked out after, also hugging you. “Oh my god, I love you and your money,” she said, you laugh at her, “I love you too I guess’ you say with a smile on your face.

The three of you walk outside, Sarah explaining what happened, Kie adding to her story. The three of you leaned against the twinkie so the rest of the pogues could see you guys. And they did, all three of them coming out at the same time.

“I knew you would come in handy,” John B said, 

“Yeah yeah, get in the passenger. I’m driving” you respond.

John B nods and the rest of the pogues get in the back, talking over each other trying to tell you the story. Everyone except JJ was quiet. Too quiet. He would glance at you but nothing more.

You were about to walk into the driver’s side but saw Jayden and his friends walking out. “Stay here” you mumbled. 

Everyone but JJ was calling you back as you started to walk to Jayden. Once you were finally in his view he scoffed.

“You got your friends to gang up on us?” Alana asked.

“No, I didn’t. But from what heard, it was a fair fight. If anything you guys had the upper hand, there was more of you” you respond.

“It doesn’t matter, what does matter is the lawsuit they’re gonna be bombarded with,” Jayden said, warning you.

“That’s what I came here for. You won’t be pressing charges” 

“And why’s that?” Jayden asked, amused.

“Who do you think paid for your bond? I do something for you, you do something for me, and don’t press charges” You explain.

The rest of his friends stood quiet. “Your boyfriend broke my nose” Jayden argued with you.

“And you deserved it, if not more.” You got close in his personal space, “you aren’t going to press charges. None of you are. But if one day I find out you are. You’re gonna fucking wish you never saw me at the Wreck the first time” you say, walking from them and back to the twinkie.

You got in and started to drive to the chateau, the drive there is silent. Too silent. You don’t know how you’ll get your car back from the wreck but, you’ll get it eventually. When you arrive at the chateau and when John B opens the back door, JJ is the first to run out, saying he needs a shower.

 The rest of the pogues followed him inside, Pope sitting on the couch, Sarah and John B whispering things to each other, and Kie pacing back and forth. You were still here though, but your mind was just on him. Why did he fight Jayden? Why did he start it?

You needed to clear your mind, you knew the ten thousand dollars in your car would come in handy, but you didn’t expect to finish it in one go. Now you’ll just keep a small amount. “I’m going to the beach,” you say before leaving the chateau. 

The beach wasn’t far from John B’s house, so you just walked there. So when you did get there, you saw down and looked at the water.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

JJ got out of the shower and he needed to talk to you. But when he walked out he didn’t see you. At all. He only saw Pope, Kie was on the phone with her parents, and John B and Sarah were on the hammock. 

“Where’s Y/n?” JJ asked. 

“She said she was going to the beach. I’m guessing she isn’t lying ‘cause she didn’t take the twinkie” Pope said. 

You were at the beach. JJ thought for a moment he shouldn’t go there. He thought you needed your space, your peace. But that went out the window when he thought about it longer. He threw the towel into the room he stays in and walked to the beach. 

He got there quicker than you did because he was running. But he saw your silhouette, he breathed in and out and sat next to you. Looking at the water with you.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” you ask.

JJ just nods. The silence killing the both of you inside.

“JJ”

He hums.

“Why’d you break Jayden’s nose?” you ask, looking at him. JJ hung his head low after that sentence. There were so many things he wanted to say. But he couldn’t.

“Sarah said he was Jayden, and I thought about your bruise. And remember the words he told you. I just had a switch inside me. And once I hit him, I knew there was no going back.”

You sigh, “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me JJ. I can handle them by myself”

“I know that. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” He apologizes, finally looking you in the eyes. 

The two of you were quiet, just looking at each other. He never explained why he was so rough to you. He needs you to know why.

“Y/n”

You hum.

“The reason why I treated you like shit was that I liked you. A lot. Too much even” JJ confesses. Of course, it was for a stupid reason, you thought.

“I don’t want this to sound like, ‘when a boy is mean to you, it’s because they like it’ but-” He pauses. “You know my mom walked out on me pretty young. You know I’ve known Big John and John B for like, ever. So when Big John disappeared, I felt like he walked out on him.”

You don’t say a word, letting him have his moment.

“And I had these girlfriends that either cheated on me or randomly left. So I started to just, hook up with people. I was okay with them being meaningless. And then you came along and- you changed everything for me. You weren’t like the rest of the kooks. You were nice and sweet. You were smart and beautiful. You have a future. And you still have those things in you but. I didn’t. I don’t even think I still do.” 

A tear comes down his face and when you go to wipe it away, he stops you, nodding slowly. 

“I knew I liked you, John B knew, Pope knew, Kie knew. Maybe even Sarah knew. But I also knew that you were too good for me. That I didn’t deserve you. So when you first started being nice to me, I thought if I would push you away hard enough, you would realize how bad I am. It didn’t work in the first year. But then I saw this switch in you, and I knew it did from that moment.”

He breathes in and out.

“I know I pushed you too far. I’m truly sorry for what I did to you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for it. And I’m not excusing my behavior. I just wanted you to have the information before I go further with this”

He pauses for a moment, thinking of what he should say next. One thing about JJ is that he gets into his head too much, and this was one of those moments.

“Just say what you feel, J” you reassure him. JJ looks at you and nods.

“I really like you, Y/n. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You make me nervous and you make me want to just, keep you safe from the world when i know you can take care of yourself. You make me feel like I have a future in store. Maybe this is love, I don’t know. But if this is love, I don’t want to feel this way with anyone else but you” he confessed. 

You look at him, his eyes so soft.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I am willing to try this if you are too. I want to be around you all the time. I want to hug you and kiss you every time I see you. I to be able to call you to mind. I want to show you off to the world. I want you, Y/n.” 

The silence is back again, and it bothers JJ more than anything. He can’t read your mind. With the way you’re looking at him, this could mean you’ll give him a chance, or that you’ll reject him.

You nod at him, “I want you too, JJ.” you whisper.

JJ’s eyes changed, from being so fearful to being hopeful.

“You want me too?” he asks

You nod, a smile on your face. 

“You want me too?” JJ repeats, a wide and goody smile on his lips.

You laugh at him, “yeah” 

JJ laughs a bit and grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss. For a hard, hungry, meaningful kiss. He smiles into it and you smile back.

When his lips leave yours, he starts to smother you with kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle and laugh loudly.

“I can’t wait to show everyone that you’re mine and mine only,” JJ says more to himself. You giggle at him, “hold your horses. I want a date first” you say

“A date?” 

You nod, “okay, where?” he asks, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. 

“Anywhere, you could take me to McDonald’s. I just want that me and you, where one doesn’t end up leaving the other. And we don’t argue”

JJ laughs and nods his head. “Deal”

You smile at him, he’s listening to you with no further statements or anything to come back with. You give him a peck on the lips and then lean your head on his shoulder. Watching the waves with him as he leans his head against yours. “I could get used to this” he whispers, kissing the top of your head before leaning again.

You smiled, not saying another word to him. This was the silence you loved, the comfortable silence. Now, this was something you could get used to.

again I'm sorry this is so late and so long :(

[spadecentral]

💢 Rage and Regret | Yuu

>> requested: no >> a/n: teehee love you tulip; also i kinda gave up towards the end hope you don't mind

>> masterlist: Ramshackle Masterlist >> synopsis: Yuu gets fed up with the inattention to their mental health and the lack of responsibility from Crowley. >> reader pronouns: They/Them >> warning(s): yelling; blood; broken nose; burn mentions; isolation;

Yuu was fuming. They had defeated yet another overblot, and no one was near them to even ask if they were okay. As they pushed themselves off of the ground, Yuu's right leg gave out from under them. They toppled over, both of their elbows almost giving out as well. Getting up off of the debris again, Yuu shakily stood amidst the people.

Grim was near Ace, who was helping Deuce up off the ground. None of them seemed to be so much as sparing a glance at Yuu to make sure they were alright.

Clenching their fist, Yuu started to stagger away from the overblot scene.

"Yuu!" Deuce finally called out, his voice raspy from yelling spell name after spell name.

When Yuu spun around, they would have seen the torn clothes in both of the freshmen. They would have seen the crease in Ace's eyebrows of concern, and the worry in Deuce's eyes. They would have seen it if it wasn't for the rage.

"Oh shut up, Deuce!" They yelled back. "I don't care what you have to say. You and your stupid cauldron, Ace and his fucking overconfident attitude, Grim and his obsession with tuna cans! I hate it!

"I hate not being cared about! You guys don't care. You're all fucking morons. Gods, I can't believe I'm friends with you! It's like you're trying to isolate me." tears started to come to Yuu's eyes, but they kept going. "And even if Grim lives with me, I bet he would leave in a heartbeat for two cans of tuna. I don't even mean more than two fucking cans of tuna!"

"Yuu..." Deuce's voice came out mumbled.

"I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU, I HATE RAMSHACKLE, I HATE NIGHT RAVEN COLLEGE, I HATE TWISTED WONDERLAND." Yuu yelled even louder, trying to stay away from their emotions. "LEAVE ME ALONE."

The Ramshackle prefect turned around harshly and started to hobble back to their dorm.

"Yuu—" Deuce's voice got cut off by Ace.

"Yeah, that's right! WALK AWAY. FUCKING COWARD." the redhead yelled back. But Yuu's head was buzzing too much for them to care.

Crowley was waiting at the door of Ramshackle for Yuu.

"My, if it isn't the Prefect of Ramshackle. And where is—"

"Shut up," Yuu cut him off as they opened the door. "Don't fucking talk to me unless you found a way for me to go home."

Slamming the door shut, Yuu slinked down to the floor. They lost a shit-ton of blood, walking all the way back to the building. Their mind was hazy as they tried to get to the bandages, before promptly blacking out as they reached the tile.

When Yuu woke up, they were laying on the floor of the dorm, but there were bandages on them and a pillow under their head. They noticed that Grim wasn't curled up next to them as he usually was the last times they were severely hurt. Holding onto the wall for support, Yuu teetered for a moment before thumping through the halls.

The gray cat was nowhere to be found.

Maybe he just... maybe he's just talking to Ace and Deuce. Yuu told themselves, trying to believe it.

Yuu went back into school a week later. Bandages still covered parts of their skin from head to toe, covering both cuts and burn wounds. Walking into class, the student body suddenly got silent. Yuu thought that was weird.

Spotting Ace, Deuce, and Grim, Yuu tentatively walked over. The silence felt even heavier.

"What do you want?" Ace spat out.

Yuu was surprised by the harshness. "..What?"

"What do you mean, what? You're just gonna insult me, insult us, and think that you can just waltz into class a week later like everything's fine? Huh?"

"In..sult you?" Yuu tried to remember when they insulted him, only for their head to hurt and memory to get hazy.

Ace's chair scraped across the floor as he stood, gripping onto Yuu's collar. "Don't play fucking clueless with me, asshole."

The confused look on Yuu's face infuriated Ace even more. So much so that a punch was thrown.

crunch.

The sound of a broken nose.

"Ah!" Yuu's voice was nasally, they staggered backwards and their hands came up to their nose. They could taste the blood that trailed down the bottom half of their face and dripped onto the floor.

"Get the hell away from me," Ace seethed, and both Deuce and Grim nodded along with him. "Stay the fuck away from us."

Yuu's departure from Twisted Wonderland was a lonely one.

Their ceremonial robes were tucked under their arm, no one came to send them off.

No good luck, goodbye, or even a simple nod.

Just them alone with a rippling mirror.

Yuu always felt separated from the people in Twisted Wonderland. But never more than now.

TWST Taglist: @tulipluvlettr | @ghost-hyacinth | @gh-0st-y | @ch3lun | @oseathepebble | @ventisaircurrent | @epelys | @pastelmages | @xphantasmagoriax | @atlasnessie | @divinesapph | @mystaposts | @ze-maki-nin | @v-anrouge (angst)

SEND IN AN ASK TO BE PUT ON/TAKEN OFF MY TAGLIST

[ashdreams2023]

Hiya would you be able to write a one shot Loki x reader with chronic pain (POTS and EDS specifically) for me I struggle with knee pain, cramping, and my hands have become very weak over the years xx and I struggle with fainting, dizziness and migraines (I know this is a lot) ….and if it could be fluffy and spicy that’d be amazing xx

Of course sweetheart!

Summary: loki takes care of you on a rough day (slightly heated at the end)

Silly questions

You sighed in relief, finally being able to sit after that conference, plus it was cold as hell, your joints are killing you.

Everyone had left after the conference to finish personal errands before night time, leaving you alone in the compound.

"How are you feeling?"

Oh and Loki of course.

"I’m alright" you smiled "cuddle with me?"

"Food first, you haven’t eaten yet"

You pouted but got up and followed him to the kitchen, there was already some leftovers from breakfast and you didn’t feel picky that day so you just hoped the pancakes were not soggy yet.

The two of you sat down on opposite sides of the dining table and helped yourself "I need Bruce type of patience to survive these conferences" you mumble.

"Believe me even banner can’t stand them….can do that yourself?" He gestured to your hands, they were shaking slightly while holding your knife and fork.

"Oh yes, it’s nothing major, I can manage" And as on cue your winced in pain when you lifted your hand, this wasn’t the worst you’ve experienced but that didn’t make any less painful.

"Ok that’s it, drop the utensils" he stop up and walked across the table and sat beside you.

You tried to protest but ended up hurting yourself more by the sudden movements….maybe he was right. Your arms warped around your middle as you tried to catch your breath and not pass out.

Loki put his hand on your back, he muttered a few words you couldn’t understand, it was probably yet another dead language.

But to your surprise the more his hand stayed there, warmth spread through your body, it defeated the cold you had been feeling all morning.

"Here let me" He picked up your spoon and held it to you mouth "Now eat or do I have to do it baby bird style?" You rolled your eyes through the pain but accepted his help.

Most days than not you’ll feel embarrassed if this had happened in front of people, you didn’t like people to treat you like you’re made of glass, even if it was in a way partly true.

"I’m putting heating charm on your bed and you will take the medicine the doctor has prescribed for you"

"….but I hate taking it, it’s-"

"It’s either you take them willingly or I will magic them up in your stomach, your choice" Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, you hated take medicine but you hated the after feeling of that specific spell.

"Fine…." He fed you until you couldn’t eat anymore then took the plates.

You pushed yourself up and got off the chair but unfortunately a case of dizziness attacked you immediately and before you knew there was only the sound of your body hitting the ground and Loki’s quick feet running towards you.

It was a bit blurry but you could make out Loki splashing water at your face and carrying you to the bedroom where he eventually laid you on your bed and as promised he puts a charm on your bed "will you stay with me?" You asked.

He puts his hand on your head and plants a kiss on each of your cheeks "Don’t ask silly questions" his tone sounded concerned.

Your heart fluttered and the pain was not there for a minute, he laid with you in bed, his body felt unusually warm, he always did this, made himself uncomfortable for your sake, went up and beyond his nature for you to feel alright.

"Are you ok? This isn’t hurting you?" You asked.

He sighed and warped his arms tighter around you "I told you to stop asking silly questions, I’m fine as long as you are"

You wanted to cry, you knew he was also hurting by making his body this warm but Loki was stubborn and no matter how much you begged him to stop he wouldn’t budge.

"Loki" you whined gripping onto his top.

He chuckles lightly and starts kissing your face all over, his hand rubs your sighs, tugging teasingly on the hem of your sweatpants then sliding his hand underneath and grabbing your bottom.

You can feel him hard against your body, it made your face burn.

"Look at you all warmed up, so beautifully desperate"

"Shut up" you hid your face away.

He covered your head with his arm and brought it to his chest, you could his heart, it was racing, the heat wasn’t good for his heart.

"But seeing you hurting is worse so stop thinking out loud and let me heal you"

You bit down on your lip and held onto him, there was yet a silly question in your mind but you had to remember that Loki didn’t like silly questions for the answer is always right there.

[l0ves1ckf0ol]

NOT SO BAD | xavier thorpe x gn!reader

"rita wouldn't be wrong though."

this was requested by anon, but i accidentally posted it by accident ( a draft) but then i took down the post to write a new one (aka this one) enjoy (also theres some mentions of death so.)

"hey freak!" before xavier could even turn around and see who it was, he got shoved down to the brick floor, he would have tasted dirt if he didn't close his mouth. he sighed, standing up to look back at the jericho goons, "you think you could storm your way here? in our own homes? you're the one who makes drawings come to life right?" they flood xavier's head with taunting questions that he didn't even get to answer.

it was the dreaded day of the festival. he had a lot of stuff going on in his head, and he certainly did not want to have his fun with these normies. defeated, he continues to walk away, not wanting to deal with them right now. they kept on chasing him though, until he stops next to a certain someone.

"look will you guys just shut the fuck up and leave me alone, you won't even be eating real food right now if it weren't for our principal funding your stupid charities to a town that can't even appreciate the minority." xavier spat, fed up the dudes just looked stunned, he thought he'd shut them up but it wasn't quite the case. xavier turns around to see a normie, in which was glaring dread into their souls.

"scram." that they did.

once they scrambled away, xavier only stared at the person. they look towards xavier and sighed, "sorry. the welcome comittee isn't as welcoming as it is intended." they apologized. xavier hummed, as his eyes landed on the tray of bread samples you were selling by a bakery.

"hey, can i have one? long day." he asks and they nodded in response. he takes a piece of cheese bread and began to eat.

xavier begins to wonder why he hasn't seen you, in the previous trips to jericho. "you new here?" he asked "ancestors lived here for years, i just went insane and managed to run away. and by insane i meant that an outcast friend of mine was killed." you told him, xavier sighed "did you kill that friend?"

you laughed hysterically, he then grew concerned of your behavior. "no, no, i didn't. someone killed her, no one in this town would just admit it. it's kept on the down low since then." you replied gravely. "when was this?" he questions you, you could sense his own curiosity "she didn't even make it until school starts to actually go to your school, she stayed at home mostly, it was around june when she got killed."

xavier hummed, never hearing of such a thing. it really was well hidden, if not, the normie was lying.

"your name?" xavier looked at them and forced a smile "xavier." you nodded, "y/n."

"i'm visiting her later, well by later i mean 30 minutes from now, my shift ends from there. wanna meet up there?" xavier scoffed, "typical setting to beat an outcast up, huh?" you rolled your eyes, "look mr. trust issues, i know you're on edge and shit and it's more than fine if you wouldn't come. as much as i hate to say this, you're unattracting customers." you grit your teeth, facing the groups of people staring at the both of you. xavier then walks away, contemplating whether or not would he want to meet up a normie.

he looks back, seeing customers now swarning the normie with the tray of bread, seeing you smile and attend to them made his heart go soft for a moment.

at that moment, he swerved his direction to the cemetery instead of weathervane.

-

when he arrived, you were following right behind him. holding a plastic bag of chips and scented candles. "what are the chips for?" he asks you as you stomped on orange autumn leaves, on your way to your friend's grave, passing by mossy and old ones, xavier was still doubtful of his decision, the cemetery was inclosed and no one would even hear him scream for help. "rita hates flowers, she likes junk food and scented candles so i bought some." you told him as you finally slowed down to a less flithy gravestone. you set down a bag of lays chips on the stone and opened one for yourself, setting down the candles as well. xavier crossed his arms as he read the engravings:

rita lupin

born: 2006 died: 2021

it was glad to know that his possible normie friend wasn't an asshole after all. he has never been to a funeral before, let alone even visited a grave, this was his first time and he definitely didn't expect some smiles from you as you stare down at the grave.

"hey rita, this is xavier. he was going to be your classmate y'know? anyway what are you- a werewolf or.."

"i'm just telekinetic."

he did not expect a normie to be talking to a grave.

you looked at the sky, closing your eyes and smiled. "rita would find you cute." you chuckle, he raises an eyebrow, stifiling a giggle "wow, rita is nice." he mutters. you knelt down and grab a lighter from you back pocket and leaned the candles on the stone, lighting up each one "i mean rita is not wrong though" you wink at him and he rolls his eyes with a wry chuckle. now it was just plain silence, the wind brushing past them, leaves occasionally floating along with it.

"do you ever cry, whenever you... y'know, visit her?" he asked you. "who wouldn't? she's the best werewolf i met." you replied, now facing him ever since you both arrived here. "you've never visited a grave before?" you asked. he shook his head, "nope." you nod in response. "to relieve you right now, sorry for y'know whatever normies fo to you and your peers. i also actually never knew you all existed until.." you trail off. the silence grew louder, xavier raised an eyebrow.

"until?"

"until ol' rita here." you point towards her with a sigh. xavier examines you, you're glassy eyes and your longing gaze, you seemed genuine. he didn't know why would you invite an outcast like him to visit your dead friend, or why did he even agree.

xavier silently admits he was wrong about this normie. maybe they were the exception, they weren't that bad after all.

[chaotic-world-of-the-j]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚Left me broken...

Genre : Buckets of angst with a pinch of fluff

Pairing : Stray Kids x reader

Warnings : Heavy angst. Insecurities. Boys are a bit mean. Mature language, Hyunjin gets slapped.

Hyung Line | Maknae line

༊*·˚BaNG CHaN

It all started with a single innocent statement that you blurted out when you were having dinner after 4 months of not meeting each other, it was about him not having enough time for you. It was not meant to hurt him. It was not meant to make him feel like shit. But it did. He snapped, slamming his hands on the glass dinner table. "You knew what you were in for when you started dating me. I am trying so hard to make time for you, and here you are complaining. You never understand! Not even TRY to understand, what can you do other than just fucking complain for fucks sake!" The fork fell from your Hands, shocked at his sudden outburst. The tears streamed down. But he didn't acknowledge them. He stood up from his chair, washed his hands, and rushed out of the house.

Leaving his food untouched. Leaving you broken. Leaving the tears that were streaming down your face astray instead of hugging you and kissing them away.

༊*·˚Lee KNoW

You knew how much he loved you. Despite that, you often had second doubts, doubts about if you mistook his pity for Love. Perhaps he just wanted to experience dating a fan or something else. You kept thinking these irrational and illogical theories that fed your insecurities. You were a bold one, not afraid to speak up and punch someone if you were treated badly but that did not put an end to your endless self hating thoughts whenever you looked at the mirror. When you started dating him, you knew some people might hate it. You did care but for the sake of him you pretended not to. But when you asked a question on a fateful night to your supposedly loving, caring and supportive boyfriend the last thing you wanted him was to get mad. The question was sad but simple. "You still love me right?" He was staring at the ceiling overwhelmed with thoughts when you asked this question. He jumped up. Startling you. "Goodnss fucking sake y/n! If you think I don't love you then fucking think that! I can't give you validation anymore. Especially when I myself am suffering because of you." He said the last part in a whisper before grabbing his car keys then leaving the house slamming the door behind. You choked back a sob, brain not processing what just happned.

Holding his hoodie close and inhaling his scent, well, all that was left behind.

༊*·˚CHaNGBiN

"You know I hate him! Why do you keep talking to him? Oh I know, because I told you not to. Isn't it?" He barked. "No! That's not it, Binnie, please listen. Calm down. I just wanted to buy flowers then he suddenly appeared and tried to force himself on me. I did not say anything." "You know what, I don't trust you. Not anymore." Saying that he got up from the couch and trailed towards your shared room. You exhaled heavily. Finally feeling the tears on your face as you texted your mother to let her know that you'll be visiting her. Then, collapsed on the ground, finally letting the sobs rack your body.

You wanted him to come and hug you and say 'I love you' but you weren't sure if he ever was going to say that again after today.

༊*·˚HYuNJiN

5 dates. Today marks the 5th date he missed because of her. Because of Sua, his friend of a year. It's not like he had no friends. You still didn't understand why he was her friend. You sighed, not even bothering to call him. Since you know he's going to say she probably has her 69th breakup of the year, and if you try to argue he will try to defend himself and you'll melt with a single 'I love you' as what happened in the previous 4 dates. The cold darkness of your shared apartment greeted you. You wanted to call your best friend Lia, but weren't sure if she'd appreciate it. Sitting down in the corner in your bedroom in fetal position and cried. Don't know for how long but just cried. Soon you heard the door open, "Baby!" A familiar voice called out. Ah, you forgot to lock the door. He soon entered the bedroom and gasped in shock to see your state. "What happened baby?" Concern filling his eyes. You wanted to render it all fake but you couldn't. "You missed out on another date" your muffled voice alerted him. "I'm so so sorry baby, I forgot again. It just that Su-" "Sua had another breakup didn't she? Of coarse her breakups are specifically on the days of our dates. It's not like she doesn't have anymore friends. If you want to comfort her so badly why don't you go and date her! Im pretty sure she needs you again, im pretty sure she just went through another breakup by the time you reached here!" You snapped. "What was I supposed to do huh? Would you abandon Lia for the sake of a single date?!" ""Single? It was not a single date Hyunjin, it was 5 fucking dates! I would never Abandon Lia but that's not the problem, the problem is that nowadays you spent all of your time with her! Feels like she's your girlfriend and I'm your best friend!" "She obviously needed me! Would Lia not come if you asked her to?" "Stop bringing her into this argument!" "I wil, only when you stop acting so...Selfish. no, you are already selfish!" A slap echoed throughout the room. Tears sprung free. "Selfish for what? Wanting to Spend time with my boyfriend?" You asked him. As you got your coat and unlocked the door. "I'll be at Lia's" You ignored his calls and left. Screaming after going some distance earning weird looks from people.

You just wished you could rewind time.

Chaotic-world-of-the-j -

© All rights reserved - 2023

⚠️Plagiarism is a crime.

If you want to be tagged please DM me.

Constructive Criticism is allowed however please Refrain from being Rude. I'm a human too [that rhymed lol]

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[propertyofwhitney67]

I just found your OC and despite my desperate attraction towards him, or maybe bc of it, I request Ryder angst for the prompt event!! I wanna know his backstory or whatever else you're willing to divulge. Thank you!!! ❤️

What were they like?

Ryder x F!Reader

Prompt Event: angst with a bit of fluff at the end

Words: 1,139

Tw: talk of past abuse & violence, mention of drugs, talk of attempted murder & stabbing, smoking

Note: It made the most sense to do Ryder's pov for this one, not sure how I feel about it though...

Today has been calm, work went well, the cats are doing ok, and my darling is happy. I laid with you on the couch, my back to your chest. You ran your fingers through my hair while I read a book, “You don’t talk about your family…What are they like?” You asked quietly, out of the blue. I stopped reading but didn’t put down my book, “I-I mean only if you feel comfortable about it…” You quickly backtracked, sensing my change in mood.

I kept quiet for a while as you ran your fingers through my hair, “It’s complicated.” I muttered, putting my book down and grabbing my nearby pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and lighting it. “We don’t get along, except for my granny. She’s the only one I still talk to.” I took a drag from my cigarette, I’m going to need all the nicotine I can get if I’m going to get through this conversation.

You genuinely wanted to know, “What made you guys not talk anymore?” I know you mean well, but I don’t like talking about it. It’s too painful.

I took a deep drag, collecting my thoughts. It’s been so long but the pain is still fresh, all the abuse and neglect has stayed with me after all these years. “Everything…” I grumbled, already tired of the conversation.

“Come on, you know everything about me. It’s only fair I get to know some things about you.” You demanded, fed up with me giving you the runaround. “I want to get to know you better, my love.”

Sighing deeply I sat up and ashed my cigarette, you know how to get your way. “Fine, but you have to deal with the aftermath.” I grumbled unhappily, not wanting to tell my story. 

You clasped your hands together happily before shouting, “Yes!” You crossed your legs and stared intently at me, ready to hear my story.You're lucky I love you, I thought angrily to myself.

I rested my head against the back of the couch, “You’re happy now, but you won't be by the end of this.” I took another drag, deciding to get on with it. “I guess I’ll start at the beginning…”

I sighed, finishing my cigarette and lighting another. “I never knew my mam, she died during childbirth.” You laid a hand on my shoulder for comfort, but I shrugged it off. “My father,” I refused to call him dad, “Blamed me for her death, saying I was the one that killed her.” I picked up the ashtray from the coffee table and put it on my lap. “He made sure to always remind me of that, beating it into me.”

“He married my stepmother when I was eight. She had four kids that became my step-siblings. Fucking monsters, the lot of ‘em.” I could feel your eyes on me, but I refused to meet your gaze. “The abuse got much worse, they all hated me. They enjoyed tormenting me.” I ashed my cigarette, “My granny was my only solace, I often hid away at her home. She tried her best to keep me safe but could only do so much.” My voice was raspy, thinking of my granny. I miss her deeply, one day I’ll go back and see her.

I pushed my long hair back, trying to ground myself. “On my tenth birthday, I woke up to packed boxes and told we were moving to the states. I begged to stay with my granny, but they refused. I would no longer have a safe place to hide away.” You scooted closer, placing your hand on my thigh and not saying a word. I placed a hand atop yours, silently accepting your comfort. “We moved to New York, apparently my stepmother knew people here.”

Gripping your hand, I took another drag of my cigarette. “Everything got so much worse when we got to the states. They started to punish and abuse me more often, I couldn't do anything right.” I steadied my breath, not wanting to cry. They didn’t deserve my tears.

“It’s ok, you can take a break.” You said, trying your best to make sure I was alright without angering me.

I waved you away your words, smoke swirling around me. “No, I’m fine.” I didn’t want to show how affected I was by recalling my past. “I ran away many times. Each time the police were called, I was always found within a week. Each punishment was enough to put me in the hospital, but I was never taken to get care. I suffered through the extreme pain every time. I learned not to run after the third time.” I snubbed out my cigarette and lit another one, taking a small second to collect myself. “As my step-siblings got older, they got more violent.” I sighed deeply and rubbed my leg where the deep scar was, “One tried to kill me when I was thirteen, got me pretty good too.” 

You traced the scar over my pants, knowing exactly where it was. “That’s how you got that?” I hummed, nodding my head. “I never knew…”

“I never told you…” I trailed off, thinking of how I had to tie off the wound and walk to the hospital. I passed out at some point and some good samaritan took me to the hospital. I wiped at my eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. You were silent for the most part, taking it all in. “I started to act out as I got older. My grades plummeted, and I became friends with the wrong people. I started doing drugs and other crimes, mostly just breaking into places and stealing things.” 

Ashing my cigarette, I took a small moment to gather myself. “I got arrested at fifteen for breaking into the school with them, in the end I got three years.” I exhaled smoke, “I was a repeat offender. Small things, but they added up.” I shrugged my shoulders, “I was seventeen when I got out, I fell back into the same ways till I got to college. I was free there.”

Not wanting to go into my time at college, I decided it was best to end it there. I snubbed out the last of my cigarette and went to stand up, but you stopped me. “Wait.” You grabbed my arm and pulled me back down onto the couch. I tried shaking you off, wanting to be alone. “Please.”

I hunched over, covering my face. “You’re ready to deal with the aftermath?” I let out a small sob, my breath unsteady.

You nodded, pulling me into your arms. “I am.” You kissed the top of my head, lovingly. “I’ll always be there for you.” I wrapped my arms around your waist, resting my head on your chest.

𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

𝘒𝘰-𝘍𝘪

[dilfsalltheway]

Daryl dixon fanfic- Temporary

Description- Aria delacruise is left alone in atlanta after loosing her sister. riddled with grief and guilt she is forced to survive day by day after a promise she made to her little sister Gracie before she died. one day she sees a big group enter the abandoned clothes shops opposite where she was holding up she stays hidden having seen what people are like now that the word has gone to shit. a few hours later she hears screaming for help the group had gone all but the man they left handcuffed to the roof. will she help him get back to his group or will she let him fend for himself.

It's going to be a slow burn type of fanfic

TW-mention of abuse

************************************

I was walking down the car park my arms full of shopping that would last us the month. i was wearing black jean shorts and a green tank top, i very rarely wore my hair down so it sat on top of my head in a high pony tail. Everyone was acting strange but i continued to my car at my normal pace i wasn't rushing around if i didn't need to. i eventually made it to my car and put all my shopping in the back seat. pulling my phone out of my back pocket i swipe away all the emergency news alerts that stated people people in Atalanta town square were going insane and attacking each other ending up seriously injured, some even went as far as to say they were the dead coming back and eating people. i sigh out of annoyance,. why did people have to be dramatic people fraught all the time it was normal. Looking at the time i realize i took too long shopping i had to pick my little sister, Gracie, up from school in half an hour and if i was late my dad would loose his shit. i get in my car and speed to her school not caring about speeding tickets i just wanted to avoid another argument with my father. As i drove my inner voice told me to avoid alanta square even though i didnt believe it i didnt want to chance it.

When i got to Gracies school i spot her waiting and wave her over saying "Gracie over here" she walked over with a small smile on her face. when she got in the car and we started driving her smile dropped and she timidly spoke "has dad been drinking... i dont like when he drinks he always mean to and shouts". her timid voice made my heart shudder in my chest i hated seeing her upset she was only 13 she shouldn't have to worry weather our father is going to be drunk again, i take a deep breath my eyes darting in her direction for a split second before focusing back on the road as i say "im not too sure gray, but if he has been you just go straight to your room and close the door i wont let him come up to you and if u hear shouting you put your headphones on" she looked at me worriedly as she knows that when he shouts most times out of ten he follows it up by hitting me and then storming off to the bar. i get lost in my thoughts, It didnt used to be like this we were once a happy family me, mum, dad and Gracie, but not long after gracie was born mum and dad got into a massive fight and mum left in a fit of rage as she was fed up with my dads constant drinking. she didnt come back that night, she had wrapped her car around a lamp post and died on impact. i pulled myself out of my thoughts as we i notice us pilling onto the street. i notice Gracie looking down the street towards the house and i knew when her eyes widened that she had found what she had hoped wouldnt be there; my dads banged up orange pick up truck... he was home and by the looks of he was drunk as he had left the car door open.

we entered the house, Gracie going straight to her room like i told her, i walked into the living room where my dad was slumped in his armchair with a beer in his hand and empty cans scattered around the floor at his feet. i had spent all day cleaning the house and now he had messed it up. "put your shitty cans in the bin when your finished dad does the floor look like a bin" i sneer. my dads face contorts with rage and he lunges up stumbling drunkenly towards me shouting "WHO THE F-FUCK ARE YOU SPEAKING TO" my anger boils and i snap "im talking to you dad your supposed to be the fucking adult not me i do my fair share cleaning YOUR house and i dont complain the least you can do is put your shit in the bin" before i could even comprehend what is happening i feel my dads fist connect with my face sending me to the floor as he shouted "YOU FUCKING L-LITTLE S-SHIT ILL KNOCK YOU INTO FUCKING NEXT YEAR! TALK TO M-ME LIKE THAT A- AGAIN I DARE Y-YOU" I stay silent on the floor like i do most times after he hits me. i grip my cheek in my hand feeling it throb under my touch, tears sting my eyes as watch my dad scoff and storm out of the house slamming the door behind him.

[masschase]

Some of my Boss's looks throughout the years and some stuff about the games/eras they represent.

This is really some stuff I wanted to put in a post with her outfits over the years but that has yet to get made, so... LR-TB:

1. Year: 2006, Age: 15, almost 16. Pseudonym: Didn't think of that yet! Just Casey Clark.

Baby Casey! Near the start of Saints Row.  Wannabe goth with no fucking money. Likes trading cards. Hates everything. Barely talks. Those gold studs were one of the first things she bought when she got a little cash because she wanted something gold like the other Saints. She struggled to fit her sister's hand-me-downs once she hit 5'9", so she started getting hand-me-downs from her friend Mori who was the same age as her but also tall which is why she only has 'boys' clothes. She does get herself a new look once she takes over the Saints.

2. Year: 2009, Age: 19. Pseudonym: Patient 309; Leader of the Saints, Highly Dangerous.

Well yep obviously she's in the coma, still breathing through a tube, still undergoing surgery for internal and external injuries. Plastic surgery is reasonably in line with what you see in the game; ridiculously good. Once all her treatment is finished she doesn't have a great deal of visible scarring, the odd bit on her stomach and arms. Overgrown hair. Overgrown eyebrows.

3. Year: 2011, Age: 21, Pseudonym: Emma to start with, but eventually everyone just starts calling her Boss.

Saints Row 2. Out of the coma! One of the first things she does after she and Johnny get to the hideout is dye her hair purple (that's why it's a bit shit lol). Has decent money for clothes but still dresses like she's in 2006. ANGERY would be an understatement. Finally old enough to drink legally. Needs to drink and smoke to deal with life in general. Gets to play with makeup a little.

4. Year: 2014, Age: 23/24, Pseudonym: Just Boss. Blake Olivia Saint on the credit cards bc she's cheesy.

Saints Row The Third. Suspects she's being watched. Is correct. Likes the money and power of the Saints being a recognised brand, already fed up of the fame. Made Pierce the face of the Saints pretty quickly after almost punching someone on her first Saint's flow shoot. The hoodie is Saints branded. The sunglasses are Saints branded. The earrings are diamonds now tyvm. Finally getting therapy. Less violent, just as traumatised.

5. Year: 2016, Age: 25/26, Pseudonym: Erica V. Saint.

During the SRIV 5 year gap; 1 year after disabling the nuke. You know what's way worse than feeling watched? Feeling controlled. When she fell through the White House roof a year ago it all seemed like a fun idea, running for President. Now she has to actually take other people's advice or risk failure. She doesn't feel as in charge as she used to. You can see she has styled waves in her hair not her natural wave. She does like the business attire. She doesn't enjoy being told she can't dye her hair or wear her makeup how she wants.

6. Year: 2020, Age: 29, Pseudonym: President, then Emperor.

Saints Row IV. By this point the reflects some of the freedoms she acquires once she actually becomes President. More ear piercings, more tattoos including the fleur-de-lis on her neck, dyeing her hair again (she changes up the colour every month or so) wearing the makeup she wants to again. The Saints who lived in the white house all got their tattoos in the last four years, too. She stops wearing gold jewellery as she has her gold pistol.

7. Year: 2022, Age: 31, Pseudonym: Emperor, or at this point, just Casey/Cass as everyone knows.

She wears casual clothes a little more by 2020. This is her towards-the-end-of-my-fanfic "a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life" haircut. She gets it dyed purple but it quickly fades to blue. I couldn't resist putting her in fishnet again. Finally admits she's not immune to love. On the verge of invading the new planet.

[jangmo-othewarrior]

Ya know what? Motivation can go a long way to defining and fleshing out a character.

Knowing why someone does something helps them be memorable, be realistic, and be likeable. Not having a motivation can make them feel bland and stale. Characters suffer from not having a motivation. Case in point: Nexomon Extinction.

Let's go over the positives first. Amelie and Vados both have clear motivations, end goals, and reasons for their actions. They want humanity to live on without the constant threat of Tyrants. It makes them compelling.

However, on the opposite side of the spectrum, Nora and Ross have nothing. Why do they want to become tamers? We don't know. Why do they want to stop Tryants? You are just meant to assume that it's because 'Tyrants are bad :('. That's not compelling. It's boring, and no amount of funny quips or personality can save a character from having a boring story. So....

I gave them motivations myself. And it was pretty simple.

Ross

Ross' parents lived in the westward district of New Ignita, where the housing was less stellar. Ross himslef was a excitable child, depsite barely having turned one. They were making ends meet, but things were... stressful. It became all the more stressful when the entire district was forced to evacuate due to a Tyrant threat. The fire Tyrant of the time (a couple before Mulcimer) had appeared close to New Ignita, specifically the west district. As they were evacuated, they received the news that the entire district was destroyed because the Tyrant got into a fight with the fire Greater Drake, Dracoon. Fed up with everything, Ross' parents decided to leave the continent and start their lives anew somewhere else. They left everything behind at the desert outpost, shoving all of it into the Guild's hands. Even their own child ended up in the hands of a Guild Tamer.

And thus, Ross began to blame the Tyrants for his parents abandoning him. He also began to despise the way they headless destroy human settlements. He also became grateful for the guild tamer who brought him to the Orphanage. Thus, his reason for becoming a Guild Tamer is secure.

Nora

Nora's parents were well known scientists, having put a lot of time and effort into the study of Nexomon as a whole. They had moved to the edge of the Immortal Citadel. Nora, at six years old, adored her parents and wanted to be just like them. Then, the Plant type Tyrant (the one before Tikala) started to move towards Parum city. Nora's parents, ever the observers, noticed that the long spines on the Tryant's back were hollow, and they were probably used to secreate some sort of poison. They then told Nora to stay in the basement as they went to go tell the Guild's front lines. As soon as they had arrived however, the Guild had pissed off the Tyrant to much, and it had started to throw a tantrum and released a poisonous gas into the air. 36 people died due to this gas, including Nora's parents. Nora was found 3 days later near her destroyed house. The only reason she survived is because her parents sealed the basement to prevent external gases from getting in. Deena was found outside of the rubble of her house, and it appeared that a large nexomon had dug her out and freed her. She was found surrounded by fresh flowers.

Nora wanted to join the Guild to study Nexomon, specifically Tyrants, so that what happened to her parents never happens again. While she doesn't have any active hate for Tyrants, Nora struggles with panic attacks and anxiety relating to the powerful Nexomon. Another, smaller goal is to find the Nexomon that saved her from the rubble of her former home.

Xanders

And thus, the stage is set. With both of these backstories and, more importantly, these motivations not only will Nora and Ross be more compelling, but the plot will also take a small but noticeable turn. The player will not only feel bad after the confrontation in Lateria, but Xanders will also become more compelling as a result. Xanders as a character has a similar backstory to Nora and Ross, and he would probably use this to his advantage. He would taunt the player, saying that their closest friends would never support them if they knew they were a Tyrant. And, (hopefully) the moment all of your friends find out that you are a Tyrant on the roof would hit so much harder emotionally, only for all of them to still support you in the end.

Xanders now doubles as a foil for Ross and Nora. All three of them were raised in an orphanage because of a Tyrant getting rid of their parents, but Xanders let his hatred consume him, and he refused to move on. Nora and Ross, in contrast chose to move on and support their friend. And really, that's the compelling thing both of them needed.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

I posted 1,326 times in 2022

726 posts created (55%)

600 posts reblogged (45%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ladypfenix

@jiangwanyinscatmom

@kingcasanuva

@ponderation

@newhanfu

I tagged 864 of my posts in 2022

Only 35% of my posts had no tags

#mdzs - 424 posts

#mo dao zu shi - 403 posts

#fanart - 95 posts

#svsss - 80 posts

#scum villain - 78 posts

#cql - 61 posts

#wangxian - 61 posts

#the untamed - 60 posts

#fashion - 57 posts

#canon jiang cheng - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#ship what you want just don't make it something it isn't and try to call it a romance of beauty and could ever work in any healthy capacity

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

( I have the very lovely @kimalysong to thank for encouraging me to post this bit of overthinking which I greatly appreciate!)

Now that we have a full line up of the EN release for the covers of the main story for MDZS, I was curious to discuss the running theme of them which consists of Wei Wuxian metaphorically looking towards his future (meaning Lan Wangji) throughout the art.

For reference, each of the covers:

See the full post

264 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#4

MXTX fandom needs to stop having an obsession with making the straight dudes seem gayer than the actual protagonists.

Just saying, that washing of them (i.e Jiang Cheng, Feng Xin, Lan Xichen, Shen Jiu), to make them fanon gay and to prop them up over the canonical queer men, is highly disturbing on the English-base side of these takes.

You "making the work more gay" by doing this, is tone-deaf when you sweep away the leads just because you "don't like so and so" dynamic but slap that same thing on the straight men.

320 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

#3

Lan Wangji could probably be chewing on Lan Xichen's forearm as hard as possible and the guy would still be going "He's the greatest and cutest little brother ever right?" All while everyone else stares in horror.

366 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

#2

I will never get how some will read all the way through MDZS, get shown and told that all the lies based around Wei Wuxian were all untrue, and still tell themselves that Jiang Cheng was still wronged and his feelings are still "valid" by the end.

Jiang Cheng's feelings stopped being valid the moment he decided to be like his mother and choosing to hate people because that was easier than fixing the parts of him he disliked. It stopped being just a problem between his parents and him when he decided to use Wei Wuxian as a shield to name all of his wrongs to lash out against. You do not call someone just a support when you only use them as a scapegoat to say they are the reason for what you did not get in life. You do not call someone a friend or sibling and tell them they owe you for protecting them and then hold that protection over them as a price they have to buy into.

His story is tragic, but it stopped being empathetic when he dragged his projection of failings from just Wei Wuxian on to Lan Wangji and Wen Ning. He chose to project that his father and Wei Wuxian were playing favorites and always choosing someone else over him, when he himself did nothing to mature out of the angry sad child he had been. A child's feelings of being able to do nothing in the face of rocky parents fighting over control are valid. A grown man who continued to find a parental figure to rage against without ever bettering himself, is not.

Jiang Cheng got the ending he deserved because that was the effort he put into his bond with Wei Wuxian. You do not do the bare minimum and expect open arms after years of bitterness and hate that you created from your own insecurities and fed to the world. As an adult you do not continue to be hateful and expect unconditional love from the one you hurt constantly and belittle. Nor because you do one "good" action does it erase the pile of hate you put into the world and demand you are owed something from another. Forgiveness does not mean an opening to rekindle a relationship that is broken, it's just a door closing and sometimes it isn't ever going to be opened for you again.

You move on though and be yourself without excuses.

374 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Wei Wuxian thinks he's the bad boy in the relationship, and turns out it's Lan Wangji.

687 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[i-am-a-secret-ssshhh]

I hate children.

Let me elaborate.

Today, I went on a Dolly Boat Tour (nothing against them, in fact I love the Dolly Boat Tour and recommend it to anyone going to that area of Arizona). But on the Dolly Boat Tour was a group of kids from a religious summer school type thing. And oh my fucking god they were obnoxious brats.

The captain even had to say something, to which no one did anything.

They were constantly going from the front to the back of the boat, in and out of the doors, up and down the stairs, getting snacks, being loud, jumping, just all around being obnoxious. 

Now, I get it, they’re kids. I was an obnoxious little shit once too. But my parents, or those in charge of me, always reigned me in so that other people were able to enjoy whatever they were doing around me. These people didn’t do that.

These parents/counselors/volunteers, whatever they were, were just sitting there, not doing anything to control these kids. I was so fed up with them. My bullshit tolerance has gone up a lot since working in retail. In fact, I can control my temper and am good at not losing my patience most of the time.

I lasted 45 minutes before I said anything.

Three parents. THREE. Watched their boys take turns running and jumping to touch their hands to the air vent and said nothing. Me? I’m done. I’m fed up and am pissed off. 

So, I say something. I literally just say “HEY! Knock it off!” And the kids got so scared that they did stop. The parents looked so annoyed (and dare I say, offended) that I said something, and then also looked a little scared because I have a resting bitch face only worsened by the fact that I’m angry.

For the rest of the tour I kept making snide and snarky comments, even when they were in earshot. Especially when the kids and parents could hear me. My dad told me to chill out.

It may be a childish perspective, but I feel like if those little brats could be rude and ruin the tour for everyone else on board, I am allowed to make rude and snarky comments and scare the kids. The kids and adults in charge of them should feel guilty about how they acted. One lady even asked for a refund, and I don’t blame her.

For those who don’t know, the Dolly Boat Tour lasts about an hour and a half. During that hour and a half you go all around Canyon Lake in Apache junction, and you get cool facts and commentary from the captain throughout the tour. I’ve only been on it once before, but it lasted a bit longer than that, about an hour and forty-five minutes (though I could be wrong as it was probably almost a decade ago).

This tour barely lasted an hour and fifteen, and the captain barely spoke. He was just as done and annoyed with those brats as everyone else was. He even made a comment towards the end about chartering a boat, which only served to piss me off even more because these assholes could’ve just chartered the boat instead of booking individual tickets and ruining it for everyone else. 

I looked on their website, and they don’t give prices for chartering, but they do give prices for tickets for the tour we went on. About $15 a kid and $30 an adult.

My parents spent $180 for them, my brothers, myself, and my grandma to go on the tour.

I can’t say whether or not it would be more expensive for this religious summer school thing to charter the boat, because of the prices, but I can estimate how much they spent on individual tickets. 

Based on what I saw, there were probably 5-6 adults, which is about $180-$240 right there. Then there were 20+ kids, which is about $300+. So, anywhere from $480-$540+.

That’s a lot of money! 

I, and many other passengers, were ready to start tossing children overboard. It would’ve been easy, as they were constantly leaning over the railing, as if they were trying to fall in the water, and the parents were barely watching them. They wouldn’t have known they were missing a child until they got back to the docks because every other passenger wouldn’t have said a word.

In conclusion, set better rules for the children you’re watching, keep them in line, and please, don’t ruin expensive ass tours for other people.

.

(Edit: If you were curious, after a very light google search I found where the kids are from. 91st Psalm Christian School. It said it on their shirts and I was able to very easily google the name.)

[lifesfeelings]

The Darty and I Love You

Last week, one of Chase’s roommates that I’ve become pretty close with was throwing a day party on a Sunday afternoon. I had work until like 3 and the party was at 1, but I did everything I could to get out and make it on time. This being said, Chase was also stuck at work with me until 3 but he didn’t get ahead so he was actually going to be at work until three, meaning that I was going to be essentially by myself at this darty. I walked over to their house though and it immediately got started. One of the roommates fed me three shots back to back and then I started drinking a tallboy. I went outside and found a random pong partner and lost miserably. Then this guy invited me to play cornhole with him and we won. Small details really. Anyway, after I finished those two games, I went inside and found a group of like four girls standing around a counter. I said shot time and then a group of like 7-8 girls gathered. One of them is this girl in my department who thinks I’m super pure and just like an academic and so she was both having a blast but was also horrified watching me at this point lol! Took the shot and right around then was when Chase walked in. My toxic trait is that, when I’m drunk, I can not be tied down. Whether I’m at a bar or at a party, I have places to be. My friends will try to hang out or talk to me, but I’m a group bouncer or I have games to play. So Chase tried to tie me down and I kept running from him to do other things. At one point, he invited me outside and I went but he got caught talking to somebody as we walked by and I just walked past him and went outside. One of the roommate’s girlfriends, Alexa, was sitting outside and was probably as toasted, if not more toasted, than me. So I went and sat on the ground next to her and we started really talking. Eventually, she asked about my guy situation and I told her I’ve been stuck on the same guy for almost two years. We kept on it, and eventually I ended up telling her that I was into Chase, which is kind of horrendous but we were both blitzed and just is what it is lol! Anyway, this whole story was basically only for two things: I wanted a record of this event, especially with my memory being blurry that day 😂 and to add this one detail to my last post. So, I left a bit after I talked with Alexa. I gathered my stuff and started telling people bye. As I made my rounds, I found Chase and waved to him and he followed me toward the front door. We got there and he dabbed me up (which, God I hate straight men for that lol) but as I turned he said, “We’ll see you, David! I love you.” And I was far too drunk to panic or really even acknowledge, especially since I was already halfway out there door. I was just like, “Yeah, we’ll see you!” And then ran out. But are you FUCKING kidding me!? I realize that he’s my safe person and the person that I feel sees me, and when I have that realization is when he decides to tell me that he loves me!? And then after the Darty is when he started inviting me to the dispensary and the dinner and all that shit. I have a feeling these last like two-three months that I’m in town are going to be quite the ride. Especially with this being the first summer break that he’s spending in town.

05.06.23