#but tonight i felt like shit
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wow it's been a while since i've felt this bad about being aroace
#my sister was telling me about her work crush#and she's not the type of person who gets a lot of crush#so we had this joke about growing old together#i knew it was just a joke#but it just reminded me that she will eventually find someone#and date#and i wont#the way she described her crush#it made me feel sick#like i actually wanted to throw up#because i will never experience that#and i usually love it#but tonight i felt like shit#asexual#aroace#aromantic#ace#aro#asexuality#aromantism#queer#lgbt#lgbtqia#rent#actually ace#actually aromantic#actually asexual#actually aro#actually aroace#loveless aromantic
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rough day...
#i might come back and color this. Eventually....#scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around#i felt a bit like a workhorse!#at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage#poor guy deserves a break...#he needs a day off smh#i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation!#he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once!#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#eddie dear#alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep!#so! queuing this and getting those last chores done#wait fuck. what where they#well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably!#yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here]#oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up#so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list....#im rambling! sorry!#anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!
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The X trilogy + "psycho-biddy" influences
#x 2022#pearl#maxxxine#x series#strait-jacket#psycho#what ever happened to baby jane#horror#psycho-biddy#hagsploitation#made this whole big thing which i still might post eventually but. in terms of aesthetics. this abridged version is better lol#i'm not gonna finish the other post tonight but consider this a preview of sorts#i can't stop thinking about what if they leaned more into the 'hagsploitation' aspect of it all lol#i actually find it odd + off-putting that they start and end maxxxine with a bette davis reference#with a big significant psycho cameo at the bates motel itself#and there's not really any payoff for those allusions!!#i think if you're gonna try to tie into a legacy of older horror films you should do it in a sincere way#because that just felt like 'elevated horror' bonus points + nostalgia bait#anyway. it's fun to think about the potential it had + how all the building blocks exist within the narrative to do something interesting#and i am a 1960s hagsploitation subgenre apologist lol#what ever happened to baby jane? changed my brain chemistry the first time i watched it as a kid#so maybe i'm just nostalgia baiting myself making these connections lmao#but it could have been so good#it could have been the perfect synthesis of the shared themes across all three movies#but i don't think hagsploitation gets butts in movie theater seats like girlboss 80s nostalgia vaguely true crime related shit#oh wait also i guess calling psycho a hagsploitation movie is like. probably not 100% accurate#but it is though. it's not an inversion of the subgenre bc the subgenre didn't exist yet#but it builds up a mystery 'psycho-biddy' character only to reveal that she's not the murderer#which is also what happens in strait-jacket so i think it counts!!#+ psycho is directly referenced in all 3 movies so it’s a pretty clear influence on the trilogy as a whole
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testing out new brushes on some sketchy leos
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt future leo#lee's art#live life extras#had a pretty shit day so i felt like doing something fun tonight#feeling somewhat accomplished cuz they look good and all#im gonna go relax now
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Genuinely wondering if i cant get drunk or something???
Like tonight i had champagne, brandy and whiskey all one after the other and i dont even feel tipsy?? Like i still have never felt drunk before and when i drink i always try to get drunk because i literally just want to know if i even can at this point. 💀
#shots? i love those. i can singlehandedly do an entire tree of those fuckers that you are meant to share as a group.#vodka or gin? brother i use to get those everytime with my breakfast at the wetherspoons.#wine? tastes like shit but i still drank over half a bottle of that and felt fine.#my mom literally kept tellinh me not to get the brandy or whiskey tonight because she thought i was going to get wasted.#she was literally so fucking shocked when i practically downed them both and didnt get even a little tipsy 💀#she has no idea where the high tolerance came from- it sure as hell wasnt her 💀
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Omg omg omg "Here comes the tickle monster" with ler!Jing Yuan and lee!Yanqing! If that's okay ofc💕
Mischievious Prompts [Still Open]
“My lord, please, you should still be resting…”
“A little rest is good for the soul,” Jing Yuan smiled back, gazing out the window; “But too much, and one risks becoming lethargic.”
Yanqing sighed softly, his brow furrowing with worry as he gazed at the general’s back. While it was true that Jing Yuan was bouncing back well, a part of him – the part that was still attached to his mentor – still stressed over the depth of his wounds. Jing Yuan could be like a cat at the best of times, concealing facets of his health to avoid worrying those he cared for – and giving his enemies an advantage, all the same.
“... I understand,” The young warrior managed after a moment, knowing better than to push his luck too far; “In that case, if there’s anything I can do to help, please, let me be of service.”
“Hm.”
Jing Yuan turned to look down upon Yanqing, a soft smile upon his lips as he took in the boy’s worried state – and with a soft chuckle, he nodded, turning to face him fully as Yanqing perked to attention.
“There is one thing…”
Something about the general’s tone struck a memory for Yanqing, who promptly tensed – suddenly overwhelmingly glad that there were no other members of staff present in Jing Yuan’s office. As the older warrior stepped forward, he stepped back, swallowing as he realized where this was going.
“My lord…! You can’t be serious – your condition is –”
“Not severe enough to stop the tickle monster!”
In a split moment, Jing Yuan grinned and started closer, earning a yelp of alarm from Yanqing as he darted away in turn, quickly moving to stay out of reach – though he couldn’t stop the anticipatory, equally entertained smile from seizing his features, nor the squeal that escaped him when the general finally seized his target.
“Here it comes!”
“Eeyah! Nohohoo, my - my lohord…!”
Ultimately, a little laughter was a soothing balm for both of their souls – and for those who passed by the office’s doors, pausing to smile at the muffled sounds of play within. All would be well within the Divination Commission.
#hsr tickles#jing yuan#yanqing#mine#sorry this is a lil late#also sorry that its lighter on the Content side but#i finished the final bit of luofu before starting penacony tonight#so that was still fresh in my mind and like. the best point of reference for me to work with#also my first time writing for anyone from hsr so im sorry if it feels clunky#i will find my rhythm eventually god willing#anyway did you know i love them. did you know#their dynamic as like. mentor/student but also kind of big brother/lil brother is just...#its everything to me :( yanqing cares his mentor so much and wants to make him proud#and jing yuan cares his apprentice so much and wants to make him strong#im ngl though... luofu kinda made me Sleep storywise#i felt like it dragged a bit :( which SUCKS bc the characters are great#and ill take any chance to see the stellaron hunters do funky shit. which they did manymuch of during that story#it just got overshadowed by uh. too much filler imo#belobog and (so far) penacony have felt better paced#neway im rambling sorry#enjoy the fic o7
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aymeric's a simple man: he sees wife, he loses his shit /pos UwU
a simple set done before dawntrail (i think i'm nearly done sharing all the pre-dt screenies??)!! also granson somehow getting his ass transported to the source works because yes 🤠 super short, but as always transcript is below!
TRANSCRIPT
Panel 2: Granson: Who is that hot lady?
Panel 3: Aymeric: THAT'S MY FUCKING WIFE!!!!
#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#gpose#gposers#ff14#ff14 gpose#lalafell#aymeric de borel#ffxiv memes#ffxiv shitposting#elezen#warrior of light#ffxiv wol#wolmeric#wolship#pre-dawntrail#stephanivien de haillenarte#artoirel de fortemps#granson ketchthane#holy fuck i didn't realize granson had a last name LMAO#i feel like the last image perfectly encapsulates art and steph's relationship with each other#i should do some gposes just of them sometime methinks#BUT NOT RIGHT NOW#i spent the last few days moving my shit from my apartment to my fc room#and gathering and crafting new shit for my apartment to make it reflect gravy and aymeric's bedroom UwU (it's sfw no gooning here)#specifically for this snippet a friend of mine wrote of those two that i IMMEDIATELY FELT COMPELLED TO GPOSE#finally finished the crib last night#probably won't be able to get on tonight due to family reasons#BUT TOMORROW
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sometimes i think about penny turner and how much she must love her brilliant, beautiful son, her only child, and how proud she must be of him, but how much she must've worried about him too over the years (and probably still does sometimes) and then i cry a little 🥺
gif credit @ihatealexturner [X]
more emo thoughts about this under the cut because it's just that kind of night i suppose
like, we know alex and his mum (both his parents actually) have a great relationship and they love each other very much, so i have no doubt that she's so very proud of alex for how hard he works and how driven and talented he is, so proud of everything he's achieved, knowing how much he and his creations mean to a huge number of people
but then also, how could she not worry about him, knowing that yes, he is living his dream, but he's also flying all across the world every few years, a different city every night, performing to the point of exhaustion, only to have to come up with the next big thing all over again? that's a lot of pressure on his shoulders, even if he does share a lot of it with the rest of the band. and alex handles it admirably of course, but still, if even i worry about him sometimes, i can't imagine how it must be for his mother (and father, of course, all of this probably goes for him just as much)
i also think about how she must have felt when alex moved to the usa, and how relieved she must've been when he decided to move back to the uk/europe, to have him closer again. and i wonder how she must've felt watching all those different personas and eras he created appear and disappear, maybe sometimes fearing he'd lose himself somewhere along the way, but still always seeing her boy underneath it all. i'm sure she's gotten used to it to some extent, but it must still be overwhelming sometimes, seeing all the hype and the scrutiny and the expectations and the temptations he has to deal with, especially knowing better than anyone how special and sensitive he is deep down. i can imagine she wishes she could protect him while at the same time knowing he's a big boy now, and he was always destined to make his mark on the world in a way that required him to spread his wings and leave the warm nest she'd created for him
and then i think she must also be so grateful to know that he's always got his best friends with him when he's on the road, to support him and share the load, and that he has so many more friends who adore him and always have his back, and how much of a reassurance that must be and then I just 😭😭😭😭 you know? 🥺
#is this weird?#should i not be thinking about this? idk man#listen i obviously have no idea if she feels like this at all#i don't know her at all so i may be way off#but whenever i imagine being alex's mum these are just all the things i would feel 🥺#and i don't mean to whumpify her or him#but it's just that i've talked to my own mum a lot about how it was for her when i moved abroad#and how she felt when i was going through some shit and how often she thinks about me#and like my things are all so minor compared to alex's life you know?#and I'm sure penny's gotten used to a lot of it and she's also just proud and excited but I just think it must also be hard sometimes#to be the mother of someone really special#anyway i'm a bit emo tonight#ignore me#alex turner#penny turner#arctic monkeys#minnie talks
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Having a B3 overdose be like
#for the record im okay now#but an hour ago i thought i was dying of an allergic reaction#i felt like a vampire stepping out into the sun and catching fire#my whole face chest upper back elbows arms had red patches like hives#no itching no swelling no dizziness could still breathe and blood pressure was good#but i felt like i dived into a pool of lava#i seriously thought “oh shit this is spontaneous human combustion im gonna end up in a ripleys believe it or not special.”#“guess ill die!”#still monitoring symptoms in case i gotta hit the er tonight but I'm feeling better#ive been taking b3 for a long time and never had a response like this maybe my body is thinking fuck this shit we're done#i checked off everything ive drank and eaten today and listed my meds im confident its this shit#still gonna go to the docs tomorrow for a follow up#but if i can dodge a 10000+ ER charge to the medical debt i already carry imma do that#im too impoverished for the weewoo mobile guys#murica for ya#anyway if you take b3 watch your six on this shit#(i know i gotta take it seriously but seeing the humor and making fun of myself helps me cope)#magenta is my vent word
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When I'm closing out at work and I've had a shitty day I blast MCR on the radio speakers. The louder it is the worse of a day I had 🙂
#jane journals#not self ship#vent#negative#BUDDY IT WAS PRETTY FUCKIN LOUD TONIGHT#zombie by the cranberries came on and i tried to sing it as loud as i could to relieve some tension ajfkgkg#but mannnn tonight suuuucked 😭#ok the way closing works ofc is we're slower in the late afternoon so i have time to get a head start on cleaning and stuff#but a BUNCH of old people came in and ordered a bunch of shit and we had steady people from that point on#not to mention some regulars coming in 10 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING#i was SO BEHIND on the cleaning and i didn't lock those doors till 8!! im supposed to/usually leave at 7:20-7:30#i guess half an hour doesnt seem like a lot but god it fucking felt like it#especially cause its ALL cleaning. sweeping and mopping and dishes and trash bags and vacuuming and then counting out the drawer 😮💨😮💨#honestly........sportacus helped me thru it 👉👈 again#its no wonder his actor was a motivational speaker ajfjgkg it was effective#and now im omw home!!#gonna have chicken and salad for dindin#and watch some lazytown ☺️☺️
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i want to crawl under my desk and go to sleep
#that is not possible because i cannot fit under there#damn it#i want a nest man#somewhere nice and cozy and just for me where i can stare at the wall for hours#that sounds.. good#btw i'm really tired of not being a pretty boy like what the fuck#lol the mental illness really shining through tonight#but i opened pinterest and almost burst into tears because there was a pretty guy and i am not him#sigh i guess i have to be this horrible thing until i die#unfair really#i need to be medicated i think it would help#i just haven't felt great the last few days#wait. couple of weeks?#i can't remember.#but i don't feel like me.#at least i have my stupid otome soundtrack to keep me company sing at me pretty anime boys.#lol watch me delete this in 9 minutes or smth#unless i forget#idk i just wanted to vent i guess don't read this shit#i'm happy nice aerie really. just not right now#god it's only 7:45#at least my hair is clean i guess#sigh#diaerie#delete later
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your honor, they are narc4narc. to me.
(using @npdsafe's npd awareness flag)
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#monster prom#miranda vanderbilt#aaravi mishra#i like girls with mutual ego problems who kiss about it#aaravi is the heroic narchetype and miri is the royal narchetype#also yes i felt like shit about my npd tonight so i made this silly little edit to cope
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food stamp card arrived, god bless
#my diary#the sigh of relief I sighed when I heard the balance#that shit un-greyed a hair on me#I am also a grubhub driver now#I chickened out on uber anxiety won but food delivery? much less stressful#I did a test run delivering pizza to some kid on campus at the nearby college#minor stress trying to find the dorm's parking lot but we got there#making less than 5 dollars felt pretty demeaning lmao but it's $4.82 more than I had yesterday#not gonna do any more tonight but I think spending a couple days a week doing lunch deliveries could be profitable#and I hate to say it but the grubhub driver app sets it up so it's kinda like a game with a map and quest markers and like.... I enjoy that#if this paid like a real job I might do it in lieu of a real job honestly I like driving around doing little errands
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✧\(>o<)ノ✧
#went to my first metal concert ever tonight. holy shit i had such a good time#that was one of the most fun concerts ive ever been to#i didnt really join the pit or anything caus eof my platforms#but i brought my sketchbook and drew a couple of the performers and i got so many compliments!!#i felt like a mini celebrity for a minute#very fun. the venue is super cool too absolutely love the vibes#goth#goth fashion#alt fashion#fashion#style#original post#goth girl
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the thing to remember about Kayama Nemuri AKA Midnight is that she is, above all, a Freak.
she may be a good, caring person, a solid pro hero and teacher, and an amazing friend, but before she is any of that, she is a giant, unapologetic kinky Weirdo, and also kind of a bitch.
this is the only thing that saves her from being your standard, run-of-the-mill Mom Friend/Big Sis female character trope. yes, being the mom friend/big sis to the rooftop boys is an important part of her characterization - and make no mistake, i adore that aspect of her - but it is not the only part of her. if it was, she wouldn't be nearly as interesting in my honest (and correct) opinion.
so will she look after those boys? of course she will, if she must. will she do it without also being pushy, kinda mean, and/or real fucking weird about it? forget about it. where's the fun in that?
#this post + my earlier midnight rb spam brought to you by tonight's writing session#was working on yet another nem helps mic sort his shit out scene (my specialty if i do say so myself)#but for some reason was just not feeling it. like something was missing it felt kinda stale ngl#until i remembered - oh right. she's a freak.#so i had her pull some truly outta pocket freakery before she agreed to help and just like that i'm having the time of my life#instant favorite scene of the fic hands down and the fic's not even about nem and mic#(fake dating teen emic fic for those wondering)#anyway#don't mind me just ramblin'#kayama nemuri#bnha midnight#rooftop gang
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FINISHED GAIDEN
#rgg gaiden spoilers in tags#GUH. SNIFF. GUH. BUHHHHBUHBUH. FUCK#!!!!! EUGHHHUGHHH#WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME GAIDEN WAS GOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AUUGGUHEHGEHHVBBBBGHHG#SOBBINGNH BAWLING THROWING UP SHUDDERING SNIFFLING LIMP DREADFUL UGHHGHUUHH#EUGHHHHHHHHHGYUGHHHHHGGH#SORRY I WAS GONNA REFLECT BUT I CANT STOP TEXT GROANING LIKE. HYUGHHHGGGHHH GUHHHHHH#SOBBING INTERNALLY REALLY REALLY HARD RN...#it was such a good final sequence... like the whole final fight was so good#AND UFHGEYHG EVERYONES REACTIONS TO KIRYU COMING BACK.. AND HIS TO THEM ...#majima veing like yeah ywah ok sure thing joryu just. just don't run off too soon arright? GUHHHHHBWAUUUUHHHGGUUGUUHHBBBHHHHHHHHNNGGGHHHH#WET PILE ON THE FLOOR#and it's such a good final fight and final occasion for what's probably gonna be kiryu's final solo finale yknow?#captured the spirits of the others while getting the emotion and the hype in a way i havent felt with the past couple antags#yumi ring post credit sequence..... awhhhh 🥺🥺🥺 ...... he loves her.....🤧🤧🤧#GYUGJH so glad to see rgg finally remembering yumi oughhguhhh and theres at least one papa kazama substory#and obv Tonight is there so like. the trio have been acknowledged which is nice#anyway very happy to see ichi again i miss him OH THE HIDDEN CAMERA SHIT. HRNGHHH NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THATTT#HGUHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNMMNRHRGZGZHJDBDBD BAWLING BAWLING BAWLIGN BAWLIGN BAWLING FUCKIGN SCREAMING‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#nooooooooooooo god it's so fucking sad dude... houghrhhgh like kiryu just crying and whimpering for a few minutes and the screen getting#more and more covered with his tears (and snot oops) and just. hububububhhhhh AND THE WAY HE LAUGHED WHEN THEY SAID NO ONE BELIEVED HE WAS#REALLY DEAD AT MORNING GLORY.. CUTE. YEAH WE ALL KNOW YOURE BAD AT DISGUISES I LOVE YOU FOREVER JORYU SUZUKI TAICHI#my heart.... kiryuuuuuuu kiryu i love you so much forever and everrrrrrrrr kiryujuiuuuuiu. GHRBMRNRNBSHAHSV#sad. sad sad sad. but not empty. never empty.#hhhnngnhnnn and like just. pshhhUGH i really liked the side characters this time around. akame and tsuruno and shishido and nishitani#BOY WAS I HAPPY TO SEE THE (LITERAL) BLOODLUST RETURN JDGDJS THAT SCENE WHERE HES LIKE joryu you got me ROCK HARD and tsuruno's like#p-patriarch?? LAUGHING MY FUCKIGN ASS OFF THAT SHIT WAS SO GOOD. THEY CALLED HIM A CAT IN HEAT STOPPPJDGSJSHS#and the lighting was pretty and the environments were gorgeous and i really liked everything i did#theyre starting to make the dragon engine combat good lol
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