#and finding out everything o was so scared of and beyond came true but since ive BEEN mourning and hashtag coping

[loserelf]

you know whats craxy is in the tapestry of our lives if we win and make it to old age non of tgis menial bullshit that daily drags people like me down to the pits of hell will even fucking matter. if i make it to be so old my mind straight up finally kicks before i do im not going to even remember it. so what is the instinctive purpose. betrayels are not tigers. emotional and psychological war is such bullshit itd be funny if it didnt still leave you feeling mortally wounded for years and years and forever but instead of dying you have to go to fucking work in the morning

[sordidmusings]

The Wrong Rest

Art by attyrocious

Summary: Everything exhausts you and you see no end and no way to fix it. Too scared to go alone, you find comfort next to the one you love: Trafalgar Law.

A/N: Very indulgent for Specific Angsts lol it’s a repost - had it up for a vERY short while but deleted it in shame LOL here goes take two 🙏🏻 this has an ambiguous ending and in my WIPs I have a good and bad ending I’ve been toying with. There’s a quick message on the dark topic of this fic at the bottom of the post. Please heed warnings if they pertain to you

Word Count: ~1.5 k

Warnings: gn reader, suicide attempt, abuse of pills, portrayal of it as Bad but it is sympathetic to the attempt, do N O T take this as promotion of the idea, been on both sides and it’s a Bad Time no matter what our brains tell us lmaooooo, but sometimes it’s nice to engage with the topic in fantasy to scratch the itch of someone specific caring the way you think would fix it and that’s what this is from, both endings will more thoroughly cover Consequences and why it’s Bad

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

Law had noticed something jittery about you when you slid into bed that night. It was a change from the distance you’d both been hosting, but he wasn’t sure if it was a welcome one yet. He eyed you with suspicion that he thought was masked, but you knew him much too well. You knew all his tells, all his hurts, all his habits. You cherished each one and always wondered why you got to be there for them.

The distance you’d felt from him made you consider it over and over and over again. You weren’t able to love him enough. You felt you’ve tried everything you were capable of to offer him peace and safety and relief and joy but it wasn’t enough. It was an easy cycle of thought to fall into - your brain had long learned to fault you for things both within and without your control. You were certain they were faults born of inadequacy, inaction, and an inherent lack of value in the core of your being. Another day, another verse in the song you’d been singing since you could form words.

Law used to help you fight that. You had barely let him know the extent of it, but building a relationship with him had been your life’s most beautiful blessing and distraction. Him being a part of your life - him actually wanting you to be a part of his - had given you enough ammunition to properly engage and push back your warring thoughts. Unfortunately, they were patient and steady and gaining ground inch by inch with each falter of your strength to take care of your own mind.

You would have never guessed at the hours worth of unspoken words and worries that were laying right beside you. Law was so full of them he didn’t know what to do with them anymore. There was a point between their inception and their overwhelm that he had stopped being able to bring them to you. If he spoke them then it made them real, it made his fears real, and he was beyond incapable of handling that. To think that the guesses of where your growing depression was headed could come true choked the air from his lungs and made him desperately run from the thought. Underlying his terror at your disappearing spark were vicious notions that it was his fault. He was meant to care for you and help you and love you, and he felt he had fallen short. He couldn’t face the idea that he had trapped you to him and strangled the life out of you with his inability to support you like you needed.

Your continued jitters were born from guilt but also so much potent excitement and fear. A tiny pit of the most shameful pride you’ve ever mustered kindled in you too. It was all from a plan finally put to action, a certainty that you’d be relieving everyone, especially your dearest love, and the awaiting of the unknown. Sure, there were some things you can expect, but absolutely no one knew where you were headed, including yourself.

Some of the expected pains came to you about an hour after you laid next to Law and began watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. As of late, he had taken to turning away from you, more proof to yourself that you weren’t wanted. It ached to see his back when you knew the love of his embrace. You knew the blissful heat of his tattooed chest taking the place of your pillow, knew the wonder of hearing his heartbeat - of hearing it skip for you. You knew how sweet his hands could be when they trailed over you, roaming and massaging you as if he hoped he could work his immense affection right through your skin so you could understand its depth and breadth and keep it with you forever.

The pains in your chest became worse than the ones you usually felt. Your heart had begun fighting something it’s never known before. The racing and pumping of it left your skin pounding with heat and anxiety that you diligently tried to breathe through. Your eyes misted when it was accompanied by a twisting starting at your stomach and moving down the rest of your guts. Still, you simply breathed. The last thing you wanted was to wake and upset the man next to you. You knew in some piece of you that he’d be upset eventually, that it was cruel to lay this scene out right next to him, but you were too scared to be alone and you selfishly wanted as much of Law as you could have left. And you were certain it would get better with your absence. Over time, he’d see that too.

You felt the pit in your stomach worsen, the pain now pungent and biting. Instead of sharp cramps, it felt like actual hot pokers were playing with your insides and splitting you apart. You knew it would be there and tried to prepare, but your teeth still ground and your eyes still watered and it took everything in you not to let out a whimper. 

You turned your head to the side, slower than you think you’d ever moved before. Even with the writhing agony inside you squirming in a flurry, your body felt like a haphazard pile of sandbags. In a pathetic flop that took way too much energy, you got your hand resting against the skin on Law’s lower back. The small tether to something beloved and alive brought you a tiny comfort but also bitter longing. A sense of mourning began to root through your heart from the finality you felt building between your touching skin. You’d always loved Law’s touch, whether he gave it or you sought it. It always lit your skin up wherever it went, giving you either invigorating tingles or soothing warmth. That mourning grew by the second as your skin numbed over, replacing that vital warmth with boiling pinpricks.

Law fidgeted briefly in his sleep, roused by your hand bumping him. A deep sigh pressed him closer then shrank him further from your touch. Stuck limp and staring at the blurring ceiling, you could only listen as he shuffled and repositioned. At this point you couldn’t tell if he moved away from you or not; your hands had moved past feeling numb to feeling much too ballooned to send any real sense of touch to your brain.

“Mmnnn, go back t’ sleep,” he mumbled, barely coherent. You still enjoyed that deep rasp that you loved so so much. Even if it sounded tired and a twinge annoyed. “I’m tired, ‘s late.”

You responded with silence, tongue much too thick and dry to form words. You weren’t sure if your chest was even moving to breathe at this point, but it must be because you were still stuck in your body, stuck staring at the ceiling, stuck feeling your insides shred themselves apart. Instead of the feeling that you were bothering him, you focused on what was left of the feeling of his skin on yours. Through that ballooning and those pin pricks was the ghost of his body heat. The warmth, familiar even through dying nerves, felt comforting and beautiful, but it only made you cry more. It was probably the strangest cry you’d ever had; it was every emotion at once and yet you felt so hollow. The fact that you could only let your eyes leak and couldn’t even muster a sob didn’t help with it feeling like some farce.

But the warmth next to you was real. The radiant warmth that was seeping from your love into the sheets and your body remained, and if you concentrated enough you thought you could still feel warmth reaching through the hand you’d moved to him. The heaviness settling on your chest was real too. It started to fully halt each inhale with the potency of its weight. You thought it would be terrifying, but instead you were now fuzzy and light. Your head was spinning (probably lack of oxygen, you thought distantly, or maybe I’m high) and your body was sinking and you felt like your bones were already in the dirt.

You weren’t sure when your eyes shut - it was a second ago and a year as well in the murky dark depths of time and sensation. The stabbing pain in your gut felt like someone else's. You knew it was there, but it no longer affected you. It couldn’t through the all encompassing and smothering dark that was pulling you down and out of your body. It was cold, but it was quiet. Something similar to peaceful but not quite. The feeling that was certain was relief. It permeated everything despite the distant shaking of your the body and a hollering voice. The voice was a bit familiar, but you’d never heard such panic distort it before. You couldn’t bring yourself to think on it; everything was so far from you.

You would have smiled if the muscles in your face worked.

How lovely it is…

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

No tags in this one cuz I feel Guilty with the dark topic LOL

Now for a brief psa: I don't want to preach because I know from experience how that doesn't exactly work. Each platitude feels more and more like a lie the longer the feeling persists. What I will say is that it matters. It matters that you're struggling. It matters that you're suffering. It matters that you're trying. It matters that you're hurt. It's not fair to have to deal with it all the time and it's not fair how life simply happens around something so gargantuan taking place inside you, making it seem insignificant and/or made up.

If people act like it's not a big deal, please do not try to use that as proof. That is a dark game on a false premise where no one wins. If they truly mean it, they are an abusive and cruel person and shouldn't be listened to. If they are a normal person, they are likely treating it lightly because they can't conceptualize it happening because of how upsetting the concept is NOT because the concept isn't upsetting.

I'm trying to keep this brief so I will leave it at that. My messages are always open - I have periods where I am inactive so if I don't get to something it's because I haven't seen it not because I don't care.

Here is a link to a post full of prevention hotlines of various kinds and also from many countries and this one that has suicide prevention hotlines for 56 different countries.

Stay safe 🤍🤍🤍

[flareovium]

Can I request a Selena (PGR) with a former Commandant of Babylonia who deserted after they were accused of working with the Ascendants. They become the new host of the Punishing Virus, but instead of destroying, they sought to use it to protect life.

.。o○ WHAT IF: Babylonia abandoned skk after they (allegedly) came into contact with an Ascendant? (feat. Selena)

note: keep in mind that while some aspects are taken from canon story, a lot of this is just me freestyling it, especially since selena's chapter isn't out yet.

more under the cut!

When Ishmael turned back time to restore everything to how they 'originally' were, there appears to be a slight miscalculation from her carefully thought out plan.

Something went wrong.

Selena could tell that there was something different in the world, and she sought out to find out what it was. The change felt minor, and with everyone forgetting who she was, Selena could only march on with hope for the future.

For years, she had remained in the background, silently watching— Observing as the world continued to turn and change before her eyes. Everything seemed normal up until the point where the world suddenly shifting, rewinding to some time ago.

Thus, she began to wander again, much like a knight who worked for no one but herself, searching for that needle in the haystack that had altered the events of this timeline.

Eventually, she was met face to face with a familiar figure.

She herself had never met this person. She's only ever observed or heard stories about them, how crowds would speak of them like some legendary hero in a storybook.

"They saved my life!" many would claim.

"Humanity's only hope!" others would say.

It seemed that wherever they went, only good things would follow by mentioning their heroic deeds, sparking hope across all creatures— human or construct alike.

Commandant [name].

Only, they didn't look ANYTHING like how Selena would've imagined a legendary fairytale hero.

No, this version of [name] looked as if they were melting down into the purest 'form' of the punishing virus— like they had assimilated it into their human body, becoming its host.

The 'commandant' was found in an area with an extremely high PV concentration. However, this area...

It was a paradise full of life. There were plants of many types growing in full bloom. Selena saw all sorts of trees, flowers, vegetation sprouting healthily from the ground– even her favorite irises. Critters and animals alike were prancing around freely, as if scared to go beyond the safe 'borders' which lead out to the wasteland.

This place seemed like a safe haven; A true safe eden that many could only dream of, hidden away by some weird trick of the eye that any normal human would miss easily, like a desert mirage. A little corner of earth, somehow untouched by the punishing virus.

But the Commandant stuck out like a sore thumb in the scenery. [Name] looked bitter, as if the brautiful colors of life had been drained out of their eyes.

"...Commandant [name]?" Selena was almost afraid to ask, only doing so out of curiosity.

A strange, almost hurt look flashed in their eyes.

Sighing heavily, the former Commandant narrowed their eyes. "...Please don't refer to me as 'Commandant.' If you're here to battle, I suggest you leave."

But there was a nagging thought in the back of their head.

Who was this construct, and why does she feel so familiar? Hell, why does she seem to know them?

Selena simply smiled. The gentle aura from her radiance convinced [name] that she wasn't here to harm the life that they had tried so hard to preserve and protect. In fact, [name] strangely hasn't felt this peaceful since they got deserted by Babylonia.

"I'm sorry, it seems I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Selena, or as someone once loved to call me..."

"...a wandering Iris."

[jiminrings]

Lunchbox lovers request:

So I would love to see a sit down talk between yoongi and mc. Just so like mc can sort her feelings out about everything, and like get advice about forgiving Kook. Idk, I just want those two to have a chat between besties.

-🐞

cold senior!y/n x stem major koo masterlist :D

yoongi will be on y/n’s team — always

“what do you want for dinner?”

yoongi had the best afternoon nap anyone could ever possibly have

it was a mid-afternoon nap actually and something about it just hit different this time

there’s days when it’s extremely warm y’know? not hot, but like uncomfortably warm

it was that uncomfortably warm afternoon when everyone’s collectively feeling sleepy?? turn the airconditioning on to its coolest and sleep without a shirt on and be surrounded by a pillow on both sides......?

yeah that afternoon nap awhile ago really put yoongi on a happy mood

he’s not asking what you want for dinner because he slept good :D

excellent afternoon naps aren’t the only things that make him this way!! lol you could also count days when he receives a random gift out of nowhere and the days when you replace the toothpaste instead of him

but really, whether or not he gets these instances, he genuinely just asks you what you want for dinner so he could either cook it or order it

“what do you want for dinner?” yoongi nudges you from your spot on the couch, about to invade your personal space again and lie down on your lap before you get to cooking

you only hum in response, your best attempt at returning his affection coming in the form of tussling his hair

“we already have dinner, yoongs.”

omg that’s nice then

“you already cooked dinner? even while i was still asleep? wow, look at you,” he praises you abundantly, attempting to pinch your nose when you dodge him

.... that’s the thing though

yoongi watches you visibly freeze when you were doing anything in the first place besides watch your show in a still position

“i didn’t.”

oh

if your dorm was already silent, it became even mORE silent now

if you didn’t cook, then that means-

“jungkook brought dinner.”

yoongi finishes for you and it’s the far worse equivalent of two mothers bringing their own turkeys for thanksgiving

the show you’ve been rewatching is white noise at this point that you can’t recognize anything in this room besides yoongi

it’s been two weeks

that’s literally half a month

two weeks ever since jungkook’s been pouring active effort into working for your forgiveness and normalcy with him out of his own volition

alright maybe you’ll just focus on the gray streaks in yoongi’s new hair <3

and maybe he’ll just focus on the blue stain on your pink pajamas because he put them in the same load when they were newly-purchased <3

yeah but no you can’t do this forever

he can’t do this forever

you and yoongi can’t do this forever

the two of you can’t keep dancing around each other whenever the mention of jungkook pops up because the two of you have two dRASTICALLY different perspectives

right now, yoongi’s just awkwardly laying on your lap and he’s can’t even look up ay the ceiling

“do you wanna talk about it now?”

you end up caving by asking him first, a sigh of relief from holding it in which makes him relieved because he didn’t want to initiate that

“yeah, let’s talk,” he pulls himself up and he’s now looking at you with much embarrassment, “can we even have this conversation while completely sober?”

yoongi’s really rEALLY looking for a distraction to help ease this discomfort in his chest

okay you get where he’s coming from

“you mean you wanna share a joint with me while we have a long-overdue conversation?”

you chuckle at the mental image of yoongi seeing literal stars and freaking out about it, probably crying while he chats to you

“mhmmm. would probably calm our nerves. o-or maybe just mine, atleast.”

to be honest, he doesn’t even have quite a clue on wHY he’s nervous!! it’s the two of you and you’ve always been comfy with each other

that’s the whole foundation of your friendship — you’re fully comfortable with each other and the two of you find it difficult to be this comfy with anyone else

if he really delves deeper into it though, yoongi would know that the reason he’s so nervous for this conversation with you is because he doesn’t want to fight with you

you’d only have occasional tiffs and arguments ever once in a while, but never a fight!!

he’s not assuming that your conversation would turn into a fight, but that possibility scares him still because what if he loses you?

:(((

and if the two of you do fight, it would be over a junior named jungkook who broke your heart and probably insulted you to your core

he doesn’t want to romanticize it either, but if the two of you do fight, yoongi would want it to be something entirely else

he’s willing to have a fight about being messy and how it frustrates you so much

he’d pick a fight over his clingy habits and how it sometimes makes you feel insecure

he’d pick a fight over how he wants to be your number one best friend so bad that it’s beyond unhealthy he’s making it a competition

he’d want a fight over him being a lil insecure of seokjin at times because the two of you get along so well and know much mORE things than he ever could and he can’t always be included in the inside jokes

what yoongi doesn’t want is to fight over jungkook.

“that sounds nice,” you agree because maybe you too are feeling a little antsy, “but we could do that after.”

he nods, his hands curled to his lap that he only meets your eyes now

“okay.”

oh my god

what now

everything’s put out of the way and it’s now the part when you actually tALK

“are you mad at me?”

you take the first approach and it’s already heavy right from the start, the question weighing especially hard in your mind the past few weeks

“what? no. i could never be mad at you,” he answers just as quick and precise, “i’m mad at him.”

“and i understand that.”

you really do know where yoongi’s coming from because after all, you’re the receiving end of all of jungkook’s words at the time

but that’s the thing!!!

that’s tHEE thing that bothers yoongi the most

you have this feeling of guilt because you feel like you’re betraying yoongi in a way

“then why are you letting jungkook in again?”

it’s as if it’s a double-edged sword and merely entertaining jungkook would be a stab in the back to yoongi, even if you don’t owe him anything

“because i understand him too.”

yoongi deadpans at that, a tired sigh falling instinctively from his lips but his mind’s more awake now

“god, seriously?” he shakes his head and outstretches his hands to hold your shoulders in place. “y/n you are the most lovable person i know. you believe him when he told you otherwise-“

“i-i know it isn’t true. it’s not true when it comes from jungkook.”

your voice wavers but it’s not the only thing that’s coming in waves, your resolve blurring even more when you see yoongi fighting back his own tears

“but when it comes from me i-“

“it’s not true either.”

all that yoongi does is take you to his chest the moment your body feels limp with the sigh that escapes you, a knowing body of tears coming next

your parents’ divorce is the furthest thing from fresh but the impact it placed on you renews without warning, the thoughts coming in waves

they were sure to reiterate over and over again that it wasn’t your fault, but god the way that they never even bothered afterwards made you think otherwise

“i-i just feel like a placemarker and neither of them came back for me, y’know? don’t get me wrong, i love my aunt to pieces and she’s family and-“

your faint sobs rack your ribs and yoongi can feel them, a relief that your face is buried to his shoulder so that you wouldn’t see him cry

“jin and i are your family too.”

they are but deep down, you know it’s a whole other ball game

“b-but that’s because you’re unrelated to me. i don’t remind any of you of the other. i’m not your daughter.”

it really wasn’t as harsh as how your words cut out, but it just breaks yoongi’s heart to know how difficult is must have been and is for you

you mumble when you calm down enough, playing with a loose thread on the cardigan you’ve gifted him on his birthday this year

“jungkook didn’t know that sore spot. he couldn’t have, but i’m not defending him either, yoongi.”

you mean it with full sincerity and he’s trying to digest your words as best as he could before his bias gets the best of him

“it’s on him for being horrible to me, but it’s on me for relating what he said to what i felt a long time ago.”

yoongi opens and closes his mouth, but before he does, you’re lifting your head up to interrupt him

god he’s aLSO crying

“use the sleeves to wipe your snot, dumbo. it’s not even that expensive!!” you chuckle when you urge him to do so, making him both frustrated and sheepish because his goddamn snot interrupted you

you lean on his shoulder and stay that way, this time being a rare occurrence in which you cling to him like a koala

“and i know that he shouldn’t have said those things to me either way. i do.”

yoongi nods at that, capturing his point fully

he insists on patting you on the forehead, drawing circles and definitely not a penis as he drawls his words

“he can’t take back what he said, y/n.”

“but that doesn’t mean he can’t redeem himself, yoongs.”

you offer him a timid smile, turning into a bigger one when you know just the right approach to satiate him enough

“jungkook taking accountability is the bare minimum, though,” you chuckle when he nods eagerly to the point he gives himself whiplash, “which is why i’m being smart and haven’t fully forgave him yet.”

…

…..

yoongi sighs when the two of you spend the pause in silence, speaking in all honesty

“i don’t know if i can forgive the little shit.”

“you don’t need to.”

you say just as genuine, a reassuring smile on his face to ease the focused knot on his brows

“you don’t owe it to me, yoongs. i know what you’re thinking.”

you really do

he tends to look at you in high regard even when you tell him that he shouldn’t, and it leads to him with the mindset that he really should appease his best friend at all times

“i eventually will,” he admits quietly. “just not now.”

“that’s okay too.”

it was supposed to be another bout of silence but yoongi actually breaks this time, blurting out words once he felt that the coast was clear

he just needs to get this off his chest before this heart-to-heart moment dwindles

“i don’t want to sound weird, but you’re like, my platonic girlfriend, y’know? my soulmate in a very platonic way, but no one says either that your soulmate has to be in a romantic sense and-…”

you exclaim in relief, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when you jolt him by the shoulders

“god, finally. i’ve always wanted to tell you that i feel the same. you’re my soulmate, i’m pretty sure. my very, very platonic boyfriend i live with.”

yoongi sighs, stares, then fiNALLY heartily laughs in relief

everything’s out of the way :)

“we’re good. we always will be.”

you’re about to get up to fulfill yoongi’s suggestion earlier, being cut short when he gently pulls you by your forearm when you stood

“i’ll always be on your team — you know that right?”

yoongi means it with his whole heart, just one more reminder he wants you to reaffirm in your mind for the night

“i’ll always be on yours too, yoongs.”

[archerdaryl]

NSFW Alphabet: Daryl Dixon Edition

Happy Valentine’s Day! I’ve been planning on doing the NSFW Alphabet for Daryl for a while, but I hope it makes up for my absence nonetheless. I’ve tried to keep it as in character as possible -- or at least true to my perceptions of his character. Please be warned that this has explicit sexual content. Other than that, enjoy!  ♡

A for Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

After catching his breath, Daryl will pull you in close and ask you if you’re alright in that thick Southern drawl of his. You can tell how much he cares about you by the slight smile on his lips and the way he traces faint circles on your hip with his thumb. He never wants to let you go, but eventually he’ll get you both a drink and ask if you want something to eat. Sometime he’ll even help you get dressed or pull you into the shower. Daryl may not be the type of man to verbalise his affection, but he certainly shows it. 

B for Body Part (of theirs and their partner)

Daryl doesn’t think particularly highly of himself when it comes to aesthetics, but he does like his arms. They’re toned. They’re strong. Not only can he keep you safe, make you feel like home is within his arms, but he can also hold you up effortlessly as he thrusts into you. Whether it’s against a wall or simply holding you up in the middle of a room with your thighs wrapped around his waist, there’s no chance he’ll drop you. 

If he can’t choose your smile, he would choose your thighs. He loves the way they look and feel against his hands, the smooth supple skin and the curve of your ass. He often naps on your inner thigh as you read on the couch, using it as a pillow as he takes in the smell of your vanilla and peach body wash. What he loves the most, however, is the strength of them clasped around his head as he eats you out. He’d happily suffocate within them if it meant getting you off. 

C is for Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It takes a long time for him to feel comfortable coming undone inside of you. The fear of pregnancy aside, he thinks the world of you and nothing of himself. He doesn’t think you deserve filth like that, but little does he know -- you like his filth. The first time is an accident, but there’s no denying how good it feels and you soon join him in climax as if being filled with his cum is what pushed you over the edge. You kiss him over and over to let him know it’s okay, and from then on he finds it harder and harder to find the will to pull out. 

Your cum, however, he can’t get enough of. Nothing riles him up like slipping his fingers into your jeans and feeling how slick you are. Your cum is liquid gold as far as he’s concerned, nothing short of a drug for him from the smell to the taste. Knowing that he can make you feel like that is intoxicating. He only ever wants to make you feel good, to feel wanted and needed and for you to whimper his name while he worships you between your legs.

D is for Dirty Secret 

Daryl often fantasizes about fucking you on his motorcycle. He isn’t sure why, it may not even be particularly comfortable, he just knows it really gets him going. The only problem is that it’s so out in the open and anyone could catch you, but that’s not going to stop him if you’re willing to try. 

E  is for Experience (how experienced are they?)

Daryl is not particularly experienced. He hasn’t had sex since the world turned to shit and even prior to that it wasn’t something he obsessed over like his brother. When you first start sleeping together, he’s uncertain of himself and scared of hurting you but your gentle touch and sweet gaze are nothing short of loving. Thankfully, he is incredibly perceptive. His desire to please you drives him. He feels how your body reacts, listens to your whines and whimpers, and watches your face contort. You tell him what to do without even realising it and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t listen. 

F is for Favourite Position

Any position where he can get as close to you as possible. He wants to feel every inch of you, your breasts against his chest, your hot breath against his shoulder, the scrape of your nails down his back. The closeness he desires fills a void inside of him. He wants to overwhelm him, he wants to hold you close and let the world around you disappear. He wants to hear you moan into his ear -- no -- against his mouth as he desperately kisses you to try and keep you quiet. Whether it’s missionary or from behind, as long as he can hold you in some way he’s happy. 

G is for Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? or funny?)

Though he might laugh at your quips, Daryl generally takes sex quite seriously. He finds it incredibly vulnerable and to him it is ultimately a profession of love. Having said this, he can’t help but sometimes smirk to himself while getting you off. 

H is for Hair (how well groomed are they? do they like body hair?)

You might have preferences regarding your own body hair but Daryl doesn’t care about how well groomed you are. It’s the Goddamn apocalypse -- who has the time to deal with all of that? As for himself, he might trim here and there out of uncertainty (he isn’t sure what you prefer) but that’s likely the extent of his grooming habits. 

I is for Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Daryl is romantic without meaning to be -- he isn’t sure what romance is beyond a steak dinner and a bouquet of flowers and the world isn’t exactly built for that anymore. He loves to kiss you and hold you close and he often checks that you’re okay. Even during spontaneous or your more carnal fucks, he’s always conscious of your reactions and wants you to feel in control even if he’s the one taking the lead. 

J is for Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

It wasn’t often Daryl touched himself before you came along. Sometimes he did it just to release some tension rather than because he was horny. Prior to realising you reciprocate his feelings, he often lost himself in thought fantasizing about you only to get hard and frustrated. He thought about your lips, the way you might sound when you moaned his name, how your thighs would feel wrapped around his head or his waist. If he didn’t curse himself for being a pervert, he’d find himself touching himself late at night or in the shower. Now that you’re his, he doesn’t feel the need to masturbate at all. 

K is for Kink 

Daryl likes it when you pull at his hair. Something about the desperation of it and the sweet sting of his scalp only makes him thrust into you harder. Though he might not realise it himself, he also has a praise kink -- being told how good he makes you feel drives him over the edge. He wants to give you everything you desire and more and hearing you moan in approval only makes him fuck you harder.

He may be apprehensive about some of your kinks, especially if they involve hurting you, but you only have to explain to him that the way he feels when you pull his hair is how you feel when he spanks you and he’s suddenly willing to try. Other than that, he’s likely more than willing to oblige and partake in your kinks if it means pleasing you. 

L is for Location 

Daryl isn’t particularly picky about where you have sex. He just wants you to feel safe and comfortable. You often end up fucking on his couch, but there’s also been a couple of instances in the shower, once on Rick’s pool table, and plenty of times in the watch towers. You almost had sex in the chapel once, but Gabriel came in singing hymns and you couldn’t stop laughing.

Though he prioritises you above anything else, fucking you into the floor or even the ground outside really gets him going. It feels dirtier, primal even, like what God originally intended or some shit like that he can’t put into words. It feels like you and him against the world and that’s all he wants. 

M is for Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going)

It doesn’t take much for you to turn him on, but he loves it when you initiate sex. The reassurance that you want him as much as he wants you is everything to him and he’s more than happy to oblige. He also loves it when you wander around in one of his shirts after a shower. It hangs off of your body like a dress and falls to the tops of your thighs so that when you bend he can see the curve of your ass. You know this, of course, and sometimes don’t wear underwear just to drive him that little bit more insane.  

N is for NO (what they will not do)

Again, Daryl doesn’t want to hurt you and he certainly doesn’t want to disrespect you. He also won’t fuck you beyond the safety of settlement walls if he isn’t absolutely sure the pair of you are safe and cannot be see or heard.  

O is for Oral (preferences, skills, etc)

It’s a long time before Daryl feels comfortable enough to let you go down on him which is primarily to do with his low opinion of himself. He already thinks he doesn’t deserve you, why would he think he deserves to experience you like that? He gets in his head, working himself up into believing you think you have to give him head when the reality is you want to. 

Going down on you is Daryl’s favourite thing to do. At first he was a little uncertain, not because he didn’t want to do it but because he didn’t want to disappoint you. He enjoys every part of eating you out from trailing kisses down your body to feeling you writhe under him as he sucks on your clit. He often makes it his mission to make you climax before he can even think about fucking you so that he can feel you pulse against his mouth and lap up your cum like he’s been been without water for days. He’s obsessed with your pussy. He’s sure it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen -- besides your eyes and that sunshine smile of yours, at least. 

P is for Pace

How hard or slow he fucks you depends on the moment and your moods. In the beginning he struggled with keeping a steady pace, but he has always prioritised making you climax first. You find that he is often passionate, sensual, and slow after a tough supply run, as if he’s trying to ground himself and find home within you. Other times, he likes to spend his time teasing you until you’re dripping wet and begging him to fuck you hard into the mattress.

Q is for Quickie (does he like them)

Daryl prefers a real opportunity to have sex over a quickie, but when the opportunity strikes he simply isn’t going to say no. Many of your quickies have occurred in the shower or in the pantry, but you’ve also been known to make use of the barn -- especially when you want the freedom to make a little noise. 

R is for Risk (experimenting, taking risks, etc)

While Daryl is more than willing to experiment, the idea of getting caught by someone mortifies him. It’s too vulnerable and intimate. He’d likely lose his temper immediately if someone were to walk in on you two having sex, especially if they were in a position to see too much of you. 

S  is for Stamina

This depends on a number of things, like the mood Daryl is in and how his day went. Sometimes, he wants it to last because he’s trying to lose himself and find relief. Other times he simply wants to make you feel good for as long as possible, draw orgasm after orgasm out of that pretty mouth of yours. It isn’t often you have enough time in the day to get more than one round in, but when you do it tends to be filthy and carnal and he loves every second of it. 

T is for Toys

Daryl has little to no experience with sex toys which means you’re the one who has to introduce them. He’d rather use his hands or his mouth instead of relying on a vibrator to get you off. Watching you get yourself off, however, is another matter entirely, especially when it’s him you’re fantasizing about and his name you’re whimpering as you fuck yourself in front of him. 

V is for Volume

In his day to day life, Daryl isn’t particularly talkative and this doesn’t change much during sex -- especially in the beginning. He often swears and he certainly grunts and groans, but it’s only later on in your relationship when he’s more secure in himself that he finds himself encouraging you to cum as if making you tremble is what he was put on this Earth to do. 

He loves to listen to you moan and whimper. The louder you are, the better, but since you have to be careful he’s also learned to love trying to keep you quiet so that you don’t get caught. He especially enjoys hearing you say his name and telling him how he makes you feel. 

W is for Wildcard

Daryl isn’t into anything too extreme or unconventional when it comes to sex, however it surprises both of you how into ‘phone sex’ he is when you’re both apart and have no choice but to talk to each other over the radio. You initiated it as a joke, thinking he wouldn’t even try to entertain your nonsense, but he’s soon trying to keep himself from grunting down the walkey while asking you -- in so many words -- to tell him everything you’re thinking, doing, and wearing. 

X is for X-Ray 

It took a long time for Daryl to be comfortable being completely naked in front of you, though that’s more because of the scars on his back rather than his lack of self-confidence. You make him feel good, feel worthy, and he soon forgets how self-conscious he is when he’s with you. 

Y is for Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Daryl doesn’t have the highest sex drive, especially if you want to compare him to his brother, but it doesn’t take much for you to get him hard and desperate to be inside of you. You have a higher sex drive than he does, he might even tease you for it, but he’ll never complain when he gets to hold you close and show you how much you mean to him.

Z is for ZZZs (how fast do they fall asleep)

After sex, Daryl likes to talk to you for a little while or just take in the moment with you in his arms. You might not talk about anything of substance, but he enjoys the calm after the storm. He makes sure that you’re comfortable, holding you close and kissing the back of your neck before he allows himself to drift off to sleep. 

[shadowworks]

What’s Said Is Said

Pairing: Fae!Hawks X F!Reader

Warnings: Dub-con themes, light bondage, oral, virgin reader(‘ye ‘ol times idk man) Fae’s being dicks

Word Count: 5.7k

Credit; Thank you lovely wife for creating this beautiful banner! You’re always the sweetest, I swear, @pleasantanathema

A/N: This piece is part of the, Pleasant & Strider Present: The Smut Pile Fantasy AU Collab! Like before, this is written in third person but is still a reader x Hawks fic. Maybe one day I'll write in second person. Today is not that day.

Hope you Enjoy~ 

***

Everyone in town heard the warning of the Dark Forest. Never wander beyond the treeline or else you’ll be snatched by the fae. And while this did scare the children from their southern borders, there were those in adulthood who took the fable with a grain of salt. The leaves and branches shroud the forest floor in this never ending night, and the winds blew through the trees like a soft, ominous whisper calling out, “this way” —But it did not mean there were faeries.

Still, the young traveler moved forward.

She wandered slowly—carefully through the wood with her lantern raised high. She wasn’t certain how long she’d been looking for her cat. As noticeable as her black cat was in a town bathed in sunlight, it was quite the opposite under the thick cover of leaves. But she would not abandon her friend who dulled the dreadful nights, who turned her wet frown into a soft laugh. No, she’d find him, and they’d leave the forest together.

She called out again searching through the wild brush. She looked for motion across the grass--the snap of a twig, a shadow across her light. But still, there was nothing. 

 In fact, it was silent. She slowed her steps to a stop, turning her head to the side. Her brows crinkled together. The wind that shook the branches, that rippled her dress had ceased, and in the moment- so had the sounds of the forest. She held her breath, jerking toward the other side as she felt a figure standing in the shadows. But she exhaled her breath. There was nothing.

When the silence remained like a fog among the ominous trees, she eventually lowered her lantern. There was great reluctance, but she could not hold still like the animals. She had a selfish thought of wanting to turn back around and hurry home...Instead she tread lightly on her worn shoes, pressing forward against the web of mossy stones

If something was out there...She’d do well to avoid it.  

The young traveler’s steps did not make it far, however, as she stopped dead in her tracks.

A muffling noise seemed to be coming from all around, but then the wind brushed at her dress. And on the winds, there was a whisper. She whipped around to the noise on reflex, clutching her lantern toward her chest. The voice was calling out from afar. She understood little wisps of words as it grew louder, and it gradually pushed forward. Until-

“My, what a pretty thing you are,” it whispered against the shell of her ear. 

She stifled a cry. Her eyes darted back but found no one was there. Her hand clamped over her ear she could have sworn she felt a hot breath against her ear. She was sure of it.

She knew she had to flee. Her head reasoned to look harder and then get out.  She began picking up pace and walking backwards, yet another jolt of panic  ran through her. The forest floor was layered in dips and curves of overgrown roots and her foot had caught against one. Her arm swung out, and the lantern slipped from her fingers. 

When it smashed into shards a few feet away, another breeze swept along. It was only made strong enough to snuff out the flame, which licked the oil among the broken glass. Then it was gone.

 Suddenly, a gloved hand reached out and caught her mid-air. The grip was firm and held her weight with more than enough ease to pull her in. The maiden looked on.

There holding her hand was a radiant young man. A smirk pulled at his mouth crookedly, and the gold in his eyes was strikingly crisp and gleamed in the darkness. She noticed his pupils were slit as they looked like her lost friend’s. His hair was pushed back, and she found the shape of his face was more handsome than anyone she’d seen in town—even his pointed ears were charming 

“Well well, look what I found.” He said, breaking the silence. His hold on hers softened but he did not let go. “What are you doing out this far in the woods, little dove? Been some time since a human’s come this way.” 

She did not respond at first, did not move her stare from his brilliant looks. For a moment, she could not remember what she was meant to be doing.

This struck a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Oh, what’s that look for? You still with me?” He teased. He reached for her cheek with his other hand and leaned forward to inspect her features for any sign of liveliness. “I was hoping you hadn’t lost your head—Little do-o-o-o-ove?” 

His sing-songy voice brought a spark of recognition back into her gaze, and a heavy blush bloomed over the bridge of her nose. This wasn’t like her, she’d never done such a thing before.

“Ah, there she is!” He said in praise, swiping his thumb across her cheekbone. She was certain he could feel the heat. “Heh, careful now. I wouldn’t lose myself out here if I were you.”

“I’m so sorry,” she managed just before shaking her head in shame. “I don’t know what came over me.” 

 “Oh, but I do.” He returned matter-of-factly. “You’re not the first to fall for this devilishly charming fae you see before you.”

Fae. Human. He tossed the words around so casually one would think he spoke sincerely. She stared for a moment with a tilt of her head.

“And by fae you mean...?” 

“What, you don’t know?”

She paused. 

As if on cue, her curious eyes fell behind his rather handsome and princely black tunic, finding an incredible display attached to his back. And oh, did they show what he was. They took the shape of black feathered wings but they certainly weren’t. Those glossy wings were transparent like a dragonfly, and in the veins of each side they glimmered a bloody red. The lines fanned out in perfect detail, each one resembling a feather of a bird.

“You’re…! You really exist,” She gaped, shifting her wide eyes back to his gold ones.

The faerie smiled back, knowing full well where her gaze had fallen. It was almost as though he’d seen this before, actually. There was something a little too cocky behind that pretty mouth, and  she wasn’t liking his satisfied smile very much.

The faerie then stepped back in proper form, and she watched him dip low in an elegant bow, bringing her knuckles to his lips. She tried not to think of the second rise of heat on her nose.

“They call me Hawks, my dear.” The fae greeted officially, but the maiden did not like his response.

“They being whom?”

Hawks glanced up. “Pardon?” 

“They being whom?” 

“You must have guessed there's more than just me.”

“I have.” 

“Then why do you ask?” Hawks wondered, his eyebrow quirked. 

“Well...if the rumors of you existing are true, then it’s right to assume all the others are true, right? Are “they” the good kind that leave lilies in your hair, or are “they” the kind that steal your left shoe?”

Or were they kind that snatched infants from their cribs, or lost travelers in the night? But she dared not ask that part. 

They stared at one another, though Hawks stared in a way that sized her up. The impish gleam in his golden eyes was snuffed, and the curve of his smile faded. It was as though she’d said something wrong—yet it was hard to tell.

She opened her mouth to explain but that’s when the wind gently pushed at her hair.

“Pretty thing, pretty thing.”

Her hand tensed under his leather fingers, fixing a frightened look toward the returning whispers. This time though, she was not the only one who heard this. Hawks straightened his winged back, and turned to the direction of the voice.

“Well shit. Looks like these bastards caught your scent.” Hawks said with an ungracious tone. “Leave it to the Unseelie to spoil everything…” 

She stared at the back of Hawks’ head incredulously. Did she hear him correctly? They could smell her? The Unseelie were the malevolent fae she’d heard about before.They were the Goblins who stole human faces; the Pale Men who ate children and left nothing but their shoes. And now, they were the fae who call to you with an echo on the wind.

“Not again.” She muttered, a distressed anger snapped inside. 

 Hawks looked back alarmed, having felt the loss of warmth in his hand. Lifting his chin, he watched as her beautifully framed figure stalked off, moving deeper into the tree’s shadows.

“Hold on, wait!” Hawks called out, extending an outstretched hand. The maiden was heading towards dangerous grounds, ones which were outside his claimed boundaries and near the Unseelie even Hawks found to be tasteless. 

“No, no, no, no!” She repeated as she hurried away on shaking legs, “I’ve dealt with enough faeries on this adventure, thank you! I came here for my cat, not to mingle with smelling fae.”

“Your cat?” Hawks asked. 

“Yes, my cat!” She said, turning herself to face him. “He slipped out earlier and made a run for it out here!” 

Her eyes were able to study his sharply dressed figure in black, all of him lit by a red glow coming from the veins inside his wings. For a moment, she thought how out of place his attire was in the Dark Forest. 

“Is that right?” He mused, letting those gold eyes fall to the ground. They were pinned on something, but she couldn’t see from her spot. “And just out of curiosity; how do you plan to find him in the dark?”

His boot kicked at a remnant of the lantern, she heard the glass crunch under his foot. When Hawks lifted his gaze, his expression was unreadable.

 “Look, we don’t have too much time.The Unseelie won’t harm your pet, but a human like you? I can assure you, they won’t keep you a pretty corpse if they snatch you up.“ 

His black and red wings began to flutter to a rapid speed until they were an illuminating blurr. They lifted him from the ground effortlessly, and he flew through the dark with a graceful air around him.

“If you come with me and wait for the Unseelie to pass, we’ll look for your cat then, alright?” Hawks landed softly before her, offering a stretched arm and open palm for her to take. 

She hesitated, looking him over for any sign that read foul play. He was one of the fae after all, and his kind gesture was given so suddenly. “You’ll look for him, with me? I...Why-why would you want to help me?” 

Hawks liked holding her hand. He didn’t wait for her reach and grasped hers, hanging at her side.The soothing leather rubbed against her skin as he laced their fingers. His gaze was fixed on the curves of their hold, the flash of her wrist. A smile softened his face. 

“Well, I would be lying if I said I didn’t want you all to myself in the big bad woods,” Hawks confessed before flicking his catlike eyes up. “Hey. It’ll be alright, dove. Let’s find you someplace, safe.”  

***

Hawks eventually dropped the back of her knees, while settling her back down on the ground. He’s the first to move, and he walked with purpose towards a particular tree.

She however, was occupied with the fog that rolled in this part of the forest. It was colder here, the trees were larger—and she’s unsure how to explain, but the blackened bark on these trees was more ominous than the ones she’d passed on her own.

“Hawks,” she tentatively called, crossing her arms over her chest, “Where is this place?”

 Hawks kept facing the tree. He was intently regarding the natural grooves of the bark, cupping his chin in thought. 

“My neck of the woods! Thought it’d be safer to mask your scent with mine.” He mused. There was another pause before he saw it, and the tips of his fingers pushed on the bark pattern to his right—the wood cracked.

Hawks turned towards the maiden. He noticed her expression slowly shine as the door opened, leading to a spiral staircase inside. He beckoned her forward with a reach toward her figure.  She didn’t hesitate to walk forward and take his hand. 

It took a moment to reach the top of the staircase, but beyond those steps was a hollowed out room. Rich leaves with layered vines melded atop the ceiling, and a few human items were placed around. Among them included a velvet armchair in the corner, with thick blankets neatly folded on the cushion. 

Hawks gestured toward the chair, dropping the maiden’s hand. He then tipped his head back as he waved an arm above.

The canopy that made up the ceiling had started trembling, the vines falling loose and gradually stopping. Then they blinked, like they had eyes of their own. And each one ignited with a dim lit glow like a firefly across the evening sky, giving the room a soft warmth it hadn’t before.  

“That’s beautiful.”

Hawks dropped his head in surprise. She had stopped moving halfway across the room, with attentive eyes on him. He could see a sheen of wonder on her lovely features, a trace of a smile on her lips. Hawks smiled back.

Good, she was winding down. 

“You should see the vines further in! Now, those would really take your breath away.” 

“You own more than this place?”

“My neck of the woods, remember?” 

Hawks took to playing with his leather gloves, pulling on the fingers to slip off, “So this cat of yours must be quite something. I’ll admit, I’m not all interested in human pets, but I find it curious you’d risk being kidnapped for one.”

The small glow from the vines had revealed a patchy, web of plants around the chair, violet lilies had bloomed every which way. A few more even sprung up from the cushion as she lifted the blankets. 

Maybe sitting on the floor would be preferable...

“He was my father’s cat,” she said. She moved to set the blankets down, but Hawks had come beside her, graciously collecting them from her arms. He turned, aiming to put them on the wooden desk—(which was clearly made by human hands.) “He’s the last member of my family, and honestly, that’s more than enough for a reason. ‘Least for me, anyway.”

“So you’re alone?” 

She paused. She did not expect such a blunt response, nor did she expect Hawks glancing over his shoulder, curious, would leave her throat tightening. 

She quickly turned, pretending to find the black dahlia's on the wall more fascinating, “Yes. It’s been that way since last autumn. My mother died when I was a kid, and my father was killed in a hunting accident. Now, it’s just me.” 

“Just you, huh? No males waiting in the wings to ask for your hand in...whatever?” Hawks made it sound like it was absurd. Maybe it was. 

She huffed a laugh, smiling at a dahlia, “I don’t think so.”

She was of lowly status with a deceased father who never offered an engagement. He hadn’t flaunted her youth and beauty at social gatherings, or in other towns for that matter. There simply wasn’t time for those affairs when hard labor was required to keep from starving.

“Just when I thought I couldn’t be more fortunate.” 

Hawks’ hands slipped around her hips and firmly turned her. She wasn’t used to being touched, not like this. Her skin prickled under his bare fingers, and a familiar heat burned the curves of her cheeks. They were face to face, and a breath closer. 

“Did you know I almost let you slip by? It’s not uncommon for humans to venture this far in. Figured you’d turn back around once you couldn’t find who you were calling for, but of course, heh, you fell.” At those words, his thumb began stroking small circles against her hip. Each stroke across the bone jolted down her body, “But when I caught you, I saw it. Saw how scared you were. And I knew...you didn’t want to be alone.” 

“Well, yes. I wish I was never alone,” she confessed softly. She slowly began pressing against his hand, just a little, “but that’s something everyone wishes for, isn’t it?” 

Hawks smiled at her. Though it did not crinkle the corner of his sharp eyes. “Suppose you’re not wrong there. So why not have someone change that? Why not fill the void? Isn’t that something you’d want?”

With light pressure Hawks steered her backwards, easing her against the stretch of vines across the wall. He didn’t break his stare. 

But she could only stare back for so long, dropping her gaze under the intensity in his golden eyes. Delicately, she managed a small voice and replied, “I don’t know.”

Hawks didn’t like this answer. He grasped under her jaw, firmly lifting those timid eyes back to his slightly lidded ones. 

“Oh, no, no, I think you do,” Hawks countered. His voice was hushed, a husky and darkened tone,“You’re a maiden. Back home, you’re not allowed to want for things, right? Just sit there and look pretty, keep your mouth shut. Oh but, little dove, here? All you have to do...is give in. Fill that loneliness with your desires.”

She fell still, slowly exhaling through her parted mouth as he tilted his jaw, lingering near her lips. She breathed in his deep herbal scent, and a feeling gathered in her which blurred her thoughts with a subtle ache.

Hawks waited for her motionless to pass, as though he knew what she didn’t. He relished in her flushed features, and he smiled satisfied when her eyes fluttered shut. She leaned forward, and Hawks claimed her lips. 

There she goes.

 He kissed her in a way that slipped his tongue past her lips, exploring her warmth and digging his fingers in her jawline, controlling. She was forced to stay still, breathing in when he’d part, only to be crushed into his lips once more. 

Her head was spinning, so she didn’t notice a pair of thick coils slowly creeping down the wall and slinking around her wrists. Not until a tightening on her skin, and a sudden wrench on her arms, had ripped her from Hawks’ mouth. The lively vines from above yanked her forward, and Hawks stepped back. 

While she tried digging her heels in the moss to stop their pulling, the vines only wrenched her wrists back harder. She stumbled into the center of the room. Then they braided into one, hoisting her arms up together, her feet partly touching the ground. 

“Hawks!” She called, tugging back on the vines, “What is this? Why are you—“

“—Like I said before, we need to mask your scent,” Hawks said as he strolled nonchalantly from the wall. He brushed his hand across her waist and circled round to stand behind, “And there’s really only one way for my scent to stay on you.” 

She tried glancing around, but she couldn’t crane her neck that far, not where she could see him properly. Hawks paused for a moment, and seemingly was fiddling with something near his wings. He was quiet, which only made her tense. She listened for some indication of what he was doing, waiting for him to say something. 

Finally, a loud tear of fabric filled the room. Her dress loosened at the shoulders, and cool air brushed her mid-back. Her mouth gaped in a muted gasp. She could only listen as the tear ripped again, and again, with more skin exposed downward.

“You—You can’t expect me to walk out there without a dress!” She countered shakily. She tried biting back the shame bubbling in her throat. 

“Oh, certainly not. What kind of fae do you take me for?” He asked, still tearing up her long sleeves. She looked back again, this time she had noticed a red object in his curled grip, gleaming and fairly plush.

A feather?

“I’ll have you wear something better than these rags.” 

It took little time before pieces of cloth littered the floor, allowing her simple dress to fall in a puddle around her feet, at last. But Hawks wasn’t done. He knelt softly in the navy fabric, lifting her ankles one after the other, sliding off her worn shoes. They gave a light thunk when he tossed them near the armchair. 

Amidst his working hands, the maiden struggled with her feelings. A part of her wanted the crawling binds to let her go, have her drop so she may cover her breasts. She also wanted to kick Hawks for shredding her damn dress into nothing. Better clothes or not, the dress was still hers. But ultimately what curbed her resistance towards Hawks was the guilty pang she felt for doubting him. He was there to protect her; to keep the Unseelie from finding her. And in part, it helped that his light touch pricked at her lower muscles. It kept her wishing for that feeling on the skin again...If only it weren’t so embarrassing. 

“Are you scared?” Hawks asked.

The vines must have turned her at one point, for Hawks was kneeling in front of her and peering up with a gentle hand on her outer thigh. The hand with the blood coloured feather uncurled, and the very feather slipped through his fingers like it was alive. It soared up and behind him to blend against his black wings. Then suddenly, it was just another vein.

“I uhm…” She tried managing a calmer tone, but it remained shaken, “I don’t know what to...”

“I know, dove. Trust me, I know,” he soothed, running a hand up and down her thigh in assurance, “Won’t alway be like that, though, not after we’ve done this a few times.”

There wasn’t much time to fixate on what he meant, as two fingers hooked under her last garment and pulled it down her leg to the floor.

Now there was nothing in his way.

Hawks leaned in to press his lips along her inner thigh, trailing up slowly, gently. As he neared the curve of her sex, he hiked the back of her thigh on his shoulder, then her other one followed. Those sneaky binds were clever, really. They always knew when to hoist her higher, and they comfortably propped her in this new position. 

“Hawks, hold on, hold on,” she pleaded. It was moving too fast—the sudden shift from the ground left her startled. 

Hawks didn’t listen.

His predatory eyes flicked up to find hers watching, her beautiful eyes wide as a doe’s. This made him smirk, though in a way she hadn’t seen before, “Maidens always scream, but I wonder what you’ll say?”

With those words, Hawks tongue delved between her sensitive slit—and she tossed her head back. She was breathing in sharply. Her hips impulsively stuttered toward his mouth as his tongue stroked long and deep along her sensitive spot, but it didn’t compare to when he intentionally flicked against a bundle of nerves.

Oh my god. Oh fu —She tensed, her back arching into the touch. It was a hot pleasure that wildly pulsed inside her, something intense she never felt ‘till then. She had roamed a hand between her legs before in her quiet home, always alone, always rushed. This? This paled, it had never been this much.

Hawks was clearly in tune to her body's spasms. She writhed against his open mouth, while he was pressing and swirling his tongue on the bundle in concentration, his hands slinked up to hold her hips closer. He was set on one thing, his pace was building faster to it. And oh, it rewarded him so handsomely—a rush of excitement struck down to his groin from the sound. Her cries, her moans, her unwinding pitched voice; she was becoming his with every breath. 

“Haw-Haw-aks,” it kept breaking from her lips with harsh gasps; her head hung back towards the canopy with glossy eyes. Oh god, she wanted to thread her fingers in his gold locks and press him further in her sex—Yes, fuck, right there, his mouth feels so good. Her shame be damned, all she wanted was for him to keep going. 

An unseen smile curled slightly on Hawks’ lips. 

“That’s it, little dove,” he coaxed softly between laps, “Just let my name slip out...just like that.”

He returned to latch on her clit. He sucked in hard with a wet noise, and a loud sob wrenched from her lungs. There was so much vigor, he didn’t cease, her winding pleasure rose higher, tenser, with her shaky thighs clamping tight on each side of his head. 

“ Ha-Hawks, keep going, oh, keep going, fuck, keep—“ The spasms ripped through her with another sob breaking from her mouth. Her muscle walls clenched violently. She fell into a sense of ecstasy and her orgasm released. 

Bleeding hell...She could not believe how wonderful she felt. She was so light in the head.

Hawks lapped along her folds as she rode out the last wave of her climax. He took certain care to run his mouth over her slit, which seeped with glistened come. As he finished, he wiped the corner of his mouth with his knuckle.

“Well, what’s this? Where did my shy maiden go?” He teased, looking up toward her with a playful grin, “You were making the sweetest sounds up there.”

She made an expression which had Hawks chuckling. She really was a pretty girl, with such pretty timid eyes. 

Hawks eased her legs off his shoulders, setting her down so she could step on the wood. It was a little hard though, as her tiptoes wobbled about until the vines dropped her lower. After, Hawks pushed up to stand. He pressed his body against hers and he sealed her lips with his. It was short, but she noted her own taste on his tongue before he parted. 

“You did good, dove. Heh, ready for me now? It’s my turn.” 

He then turned her. It wasn’t surprising Hawks was leading her along with little chance to respond, already brushing his lips across her neck. A hand cupped her breast and began squeezing, while his thumb rolled her nipple with tact, “Don’t worry, I’ll make this feel good...So damn good.”

He might even break her.

“But doesn’t this hurt?” She asked breathlessly. She felt naive, but that’s what the married women in town said. There was pain, and it ended with blood.

Hawk gave a reply she did not expect. His mouth which trailed gently down the curve of her neck, sucked hard into her smooth skin. An involuntary shiver ran down her spine, and her lips opened.

“You feel that? It hurt a little, didn’t it?” He whispered against her ear, “Can’t promise it won't hurt, but I can at least promise my cock will leave you twitching. You’ll be moaning, and when you come again, it’ll be when I’m deep inside you.”

She felt something thick rub between her legs, just then. The hand that toyed with her breast started roaming downward to pull back her hips. His other hand had been working on his belt prior, taking himself in hand with mild strokes. 

The lazy work on himself was fine. This wasn’t about him, well—for now, at least. He’d focus on his needs once the intended plan was carried out. But until then, keeping her aroused was Hawks’ priority. 

“Just relax...tilt your hips a little more,” he instructed, all while slicking the head of his cock like he’d done for his length. Once ready, he began lining himself toward her entrance, “Yes, that’s right, little dove. Precisely like that.”

She braced her arms against the vines with fingers curled in a tight grip, all while trying to relax her body like Hawks had said. But it was difficult to persist as Hawks advanced, and he slid his swollen cock inside her. A gasp slipped from her lips, her spine curved. He was thick. And as if he were forging through, she felt him strike his hips in shallow thrusts through her wet entrance, sink deeper in her stretching, and pulsing walls. 

It hurt, but a familiar ache spread. 

“You’ll enjoy it more if you relax.” Hawks' voice rasped thickly. He placed a hand on her lower back, gently rubbing at her spine. His length was still buried, feeling her clench--Ah, fuck. She was damn tight. He wanted to plunge forward, pound her with no mercy. It even took a good deal of restraint to hold still. “Don’t be afraid, I got you...Just let go.”

She can only nod in reply. It was going to be alright; she had to remember that. She exhaled a deep breath and tentatively eased under Hawks palm, eyes fluttering shut. She was ready, and his hands firmly settled on her sides. He then leaned back just so he could thrust forward, setting the pace with long, deep pumps.

She ached. Every thrust left her sore, but the ache was subtly there, building with Hawks momentum. The snap of his hips threw her body back and forth, shaking to his rhythm, his heavy pants in her ear. A shudder rushed down her spine, hearing his lust so crisply behind. Her lips parted to breathe, and her moans spilled out. 

“Hnng—Yesss, let me hear you. Fuck, you take my cock so deep,” he growled lowly.

Hawks thrusts were sounding wet as his pounding in her skin quickened unsteadily. He’d admit, this was reckless for a virgin maiden, but he wouldn’t hadn’t planned on stopping now for her sake. Hawks was chasing his own orgasm, and as he mentioned before; this was his turn. 

In that moment, she was thankful her arms were strung up, for it was her only support against his unyielding smacks inside her. But the rhythm changed, as Hawks jerked her hips back into an arched angle. Another cry spilled from her lungs. 

Christ, why did it feel so fucking good?! When Hawks snapped hard, his length struck an intense patch in her inner walls, and a beautifully sweet mixture of pain and pleasure shook in her core. 

Hawks felt her violent twitch, which only excited the fae. 

“You like that, sweet dove? It feels like you fucking do! Let me hear you scream!”

She did in fact, cry out. 

All her senses fell to the pleasure, the euphoria, the sweet pain of each thrash. And he pounds—and he pounds, and he pounds. Until she felt something warm flood her insides, and another writhing, hot pleasure ignited her nerves in a violent crash. 

Then there was only the sound of their heavy breaths. He stayed sheathed inside, all while blood had bloomed across the maiden’s thighs.

***

Just before the evening turned to dusk, Hawks had awoken from the makeshift bed he assembled from the folded blankets. At first, he only buried his cheek into the maiden’s loose hair, and drew his arms tightly around her bareback, just so she fit snug against his own bare chest. She was warm, so soft in his arms as she slept soundly.

Then came a gentle breeze that wisped at his forehead, brushing at his thick pieces of hair. 

Swirling on those winds echoed a voice.

“Little dove.”

This only warranted a deep growl, though Hawks hadn’t made an effort to move from his maiden’s warmth.

“Cut that shit out, I haven’t told her yet,” he mumbled with an edge in his tone. He refused to crack open his eyes, and craving sleep more than anything he dismissed the voice abruptly. 

The room fell silent.

It obeyed him, not the other way around.

“What’s said is said,” —Hawks adjusted his body, gently rubbing his face on her head, “You wish to never be alone, well, wish granted. You’re mine now little dove...Mine, forever.”

There’s no reply from his maiden, whose gentle breathing was doing a lovely job of lulling Hawks deeper into the pull of sleep. She wouldn’t like it, oh he knew she wouldn’t. But she’d learn to. And she’d learn her efforts of finding her missing cat were all in vain. After all, the cat never made it far into the forest. He scared off that pathetic thing, but he watched the maiden wander. 

What’s said is said, and there’s nothing she could do to change it. 

***

@pleasantanathema @present-mel @enjifuckersupreme @redflannel

[dreamkidddream]

Hello sunshine, would it be possible for you to write me some headcanons for my beloved Chuuya, Dazai and Atsushi? I was thinking about them having a fragil health s/o? Maybe they work an office job in the ada/pm and they somehow fall for the s/o? I hope this is no trouble and you have inspiration to write this. If you don't like this you can just ignore it. Thank you very much :)

Hi anon! Thank you for the request! So I’m assuming that when you say fragile health s/o is that the reader can get sick easily/overall very weak? I hope that I got the interpretation right, and I didn’t please feel free to send it in again so I can do it over for you. Reader is gender neutral, and hope you enjoy!

TW: Suicide (Dazai’s part, nothing heavy is mentioned, and it’s only in one line) and Abuse (Atsushi’s, nothing heavy is mentioned)

Easily Sick/Weak S/O with: Chuuya, Dazai, and Atsushi

Chuuya

Oh man, he hated this feeling. He already hated you even working in the Port Mafia (even though he was there too), but he hated it even more since you were weak physically

Don’t get him wrong, Chuuya knows that you’re a strong person through and through, but it was so easy for you to get hurt or sick working on the field, it honestly made him worried

What also made him worried was how he was falling for you and quickly. He’s an executive! He doesn’t have the time for romance, and what if (really when if because he wants you so bad you have no idea) someone decides to come after you because of your ties with him? It was already so easy for him to lose you now, he didn’t want to chance things and speed up the process

But, you were just...a really great person. You were determined, always kept your head up, didn’t take anything from anyone (you backtalked Mori once and still walked away with your throat intact, so that was a sign), and it didn’t help that you were really easy on the eyes (he couldn’t help it, you were already attractive, and those things were just icing on the cake for him)

Chuuya didn’t know how you could stand being in a stuffy office all day, so he always stopped by to check on some “information” for some “case he’s working on). It started out genuine, but then it became a daily occurrence, even on his rare days off. 

One thing about him is that he’s a true gentleman, he knows how to treat his partner right. Bringing lunch to you, flowers sitting on your desk for no reason with a random note (”Hope you have a good day”, “Saw these when I was out, made me think about you”, “These don’t even compare to how beautiful you are, inside and out”, etc.), driving you home no questions asked, even offering you his favorite bottle of wine to share

He knows that he’s being cheesy but he was pulling out all the stops just for you

He knew it was risky for you to be out all the time, so whenever he did finally ask you on an “official” date (you thought sharing his wine was a date but he said that he wanted to show you off, not just in the office), you guys were either in a fully reserved restaurant or at his place. Seriously the way his place looks was like luxury! Damn you knew his job paid good money but wow! This was better than going out honestly

He confessed when you went over to his house one night. It was a particularly rough day for you both, and you just needed some reassurance which Chuuya was happy to give. It seemed like he went on for hours, but really it wasn’t too long, and you were in tears by the end of it. When he ended it with, “anyone would be beyond lucky to have you (Y/N), and I wish it were me. I wish I would have the chance to show you how much I really do love you, words aren’t enough for me. I’ll take the chance if you let me, and I swear you won’t regret it. Be mine, (Y/N), I’ll treat you like you deserve, and you deserve more than the world.”

You both understood the risks that came with dating you, but he swore that he would protect you with his life. If you did get sick, he couldn’t be there for you during the day because of his work, but he made sure to text you every hour on the hour to check on you and as soon as he got home, it was caretaker mode until you both went to bed

He bought you your medicine, the fluffiest pillows ever known to man, I mean did everything and anything. The dude was loaded, money was not an issue obviously

Chuuya is a great boyfriend, and will honestly do anything it takes to keep you safe and happy. He loves you after all, and he doesn’t mind all the extra work that comes with it (he doesn’t even see it as work, just precautions, which still isn’t a problem)

Dazai

He was not only worried about your health and safety, but also the fact that he was falling for you. Dazai was a very secretive person who didn’t like to show his true feelings, and he was scared of what he’s feeling for you. Him being attached and actually caring about people never paid off for him, as his past would tell you...

But here you were, being a bright, shining light in his cruel, bleak, dark world. He tried to keep his distance at first, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to you. You were so fun to be around, despite your condition! You always helped as much as you could in the office, being the first one to pick up on his work when he was too lazy busy to complete it and having reports ready for any meetings, even on short notice. You looked out for him, both as a coworker and as a caring friend, and he could tell

You even helped him annoy Kunikida sometimes, which just made you even more stunning in his eyes

He felt himself falling for you more and more everyday, finding excuses to stay in the office just to be next to you. “(Y/N), please don’t strain yourself my dear! Let me handle this for you, I would be a terrible suitor if I didn’t.” “Dazai, I just have to staple these- nevermind, thank you my knight wrapped in bandages!” 

Kunikida would of course hate this and drag him out every time, but all that it concluded in was Dazai whining and complaining about how it was so unfair that he was being kept from his “precious (Y/N)” and how they must be so lonely without him. It got to a point where Kunikida made a compromise with him: if he actually does some work and help on the field missions, then he can spend more time with you in the office

I feel like they forget that Dazai is actually crazy smart and most likely already knows the culprits to whatever cases that they are handling, and he was definitely waiting for this outcome. No extra work for him and more time with you. It’s a win-win!

When he does eventually accept that he was in too deep, he started to take his advances in a more serious manner (I mean he was always being serious but he was not going to hold back anymore). He’s a great listener, so anything that said wanted that was said in passing conversation, expect it to be on your desk with a little sticky note. You had a strong craving for something? What do you know, Dazai brought just enough for both of you to share (and he gave you the bigger portion of it). You want to go see the stars? Sounds like the perfect date night for you two!

That’s how he actually confessed to you, right underneath the stars. It was perfect, you guys were away from everyone, having an amazing time just stargazing. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this at peace, and you were to thank for that. He knew that while he was risking his life on a daily basis, but you were constantly fighting for yours. You couldn��t even go on a mission with how easy it was for you to get an injury you couldn’t recover from. But he had faith in you and in himself, that he wouldn’t let another person that he cares for perish in front of him. He made that promise to you, and that he would do everything in his power to keep it. He will not fail you

After that night, your dates were usually held at your place, and it ranged from cooking together to having movie nights. You didn’t have to spend money really, you were both fine in the house in each other’s arms. And if you did get sick, you thought he was clingy before, WHEW did it get more intense

You had to push him off of you too many times to count. What part of NO HUGS did this man not get?! You were already suffering, he didn’t need to either. He did try to make this a double suicide opportunity though, and you were not very happy

Was banned from cuddles for 3 weeks straight, it was pure torture for him

You were Dazai’s distraction from this horrible joke he called a life, and he was welcoming of you. He embraced you, never complained about your weakness or anything. You were someone that he can proudly say that he loves, and that won’t ever change

Atsushi

He was so nervous, so scared. He doesn’t even know how to look everyone in the eye, how was he suppose to admit that he started to like you more than a friend?!

Atsushi was in love with you, I mean he was in deep. He couldn’t help it! You’re just so nice, so easy to talk to, always there to give him a pep talk and just keep him in high spirits. It just wasn’t fair what hand life had dealt you. He wanted to spend time with you outside of the office, but due to your delicate situation, he was so scared to. What if the Port Mafia tried to strike and he wasn’t strong enough or quick enough to protect you? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you died because of him. He wouldn’t be able to live-

So he tried (keyword: tried) to spend time with you at work. But with Kunikida on his ass about work, and Dazai being Dazai making his life difficult for his own amusement, made it difficult. Every time he got a chance, before he could even speak a word, someone needed him for something. If he did somehow had the spare time to talk to you, he would either choke or say something that he really meant but chickened out last minute and tried to change it (which was kinda your fault, you like to tease him sometimes too)

“So, um, (Y/N). I remembered that you said you liked that one takeout spot, so if you want I can bring you some back?”

“You would do that for me, Atsushi? Wow, it’s almost like you’re like my boyfriend!”

“Yep, I don’t mind! It makes me happy when you’re hap-w-WAIT HU-“

But besides that, he always checked on your whenever he got back from his missions (even if he was the one injured and bleeding), brought you back small trinkets or food, and always walked you home, not caring if it was out of his way

He hated that you were confined to the office majority of your time working, but he was worried that literally anything could and would happen on his watch, and he didn’t want to risk it. With Kyoka tired of watching him in distress and even Dazai showing a sliver of compassion for him, they helped him set up an inside date

But first, he had to ask you. Dazai wanted him to do some elaborate, over the top, proposal for asking you out (which Atsushi was pretty sure that he just wanted him to panic and embarrass himself) and Kyoka suggested that he gets you tofu (which he was also convinced that she just wanted some again). He decided that he was just going to have to suck it up, and do it himself. He has been through Hell and back, and if he survived that, then he could ask you on a date damn it!

So he finally got some courage, and directly went up to your desk. When you looked up, you flinched back. What was with the intense look in his eyes?! But you realized soon enough when he bowed and asked you to come over for a date. And of course you said yes!

The date was marvelous, and the poor boy was sweating so much you thought he was going to pass out! Whatever Dazai and Kyoka did to the place blew his expectations out of the water. Latern lights strung up along the walls, your favorite meals readied, little messages stuck to the wall made just for you, and the biggest/most comfortable blanket fort that you had ever seen. It sounded so simple, but one look into your eyes and you were overjoyed. He really did mean it that it made him happy that you were happy

He confessed with you snuggled into his side, so anxious yet at ease. Despite everything that he has gone through, you were brave too. You were stuck in that stressful environment, had a body that could quit on you after one bad day, yet you still encouraged him every day, every time you spoke to him after he’s had a bad day, or an encounter with Akutagawa. He was so convinced that he didn’t you, that he didn’t deserve anything good in his life after the abuse he endured at the orphanage. But you didn’t let him believe that for a second, and he’s indebted to you for that

He poured his heart out to you that night, and ever since, he’s been a lot more confident, both in his ability and in himself. You gave him that push in the right direction to trust himself more, and everyone could see the change (Dazai was pretty proud to be honest)

Dates after that were spent at his apartment, relaxing. Once in a blue moon, you guys would go to the arcade where he won you guys matching Tiger phone charms (he was a little embarrassed but he loved you and the charms too much to let it affect him)

If you did become ill, he would panic so bad that you had to bring him back down to Earth while hacking up a lung (not literally but it felt like it). He tries his best, he’s a little shaken because of how distraught he would get due to your fragile body, but he does care for you pretty well. If you need anything, he was too scared to leave you so Kyoka would be his go-to (with the promise of tofu afterwards)

(But don’t worry she’s a little worried for you too)

Atsushi knew he could never forget the horrors that he experienced at the orphanage, but you reminded him of the strength he had to not let it hold him back. He was your hero without a doubt, but you were his in the sense of how strong you really are, and how you didn’t know or believe it when he told you. You became an overall positive influence on his life, and helped him see life a little brighter and more meaningful. He loves you more than you could imagine, and he would continue to prove it to you in everything that he does.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Ultimatum”

Welcome back, everyone! We had an unexpected break last week due to the horror going on in Texas. I'm glad we did. Not because of any salty "RWBY is bad right now yay free Saturday" feelings, but because keeping to a schedule for a fictional webseries should never take precedence over peoples' safety. I can't believe I need to type that sentence out, but it's true! Over the last seven days I've seen fans who are not merely disappointed by the mini hiatus (understandable) but outright hostile towards the crew because they... were ensuring everyone survived during an unprecedented emergency? Yeah. Given the highly critical nature of these recaps — including today's! — I want to be clear that my thoughts towards Rooster Teeth's creative choices are distinct from any thoughts about the crew itself, including the most basic forms of compassion like, “I sure hope everyone is okay over there.” In an age where it has become horrifically common to harass creators and even send them death threats over stories, it has likewise become necessary to remind people: Don't do that shit. Never do that shit. If I can teach anyone anything at all, let it be that!

Anyway, dark fandom reminders out of the way, let's dive straight into our delayed episode. It was certainly a doozy. Titled "Ultimatum," we open on a trigger warning for flashing lights. Good on Rooster Teeth for including that, though I do wonder if creators shouldn't be including time stamps as well? Or perhaps a note that you can find those time stamps in the credits, avoiding any (minor) spoilers for everyone else? I'm not photosensitive myself, so I certainly don't mean to speak for that group, but my first thought was, "So how would I watch this episode if I was? Hand on the pause button, hoping I stop fast enough as soon as the lights start?" Hard to do given the surprise nature of the scene. Really, my answer would be, "Wait for the fandom to post warnings of their own, likely including where it happens so I know when to skip" which is perhaps an indication that this information that should be included from the get-go.

But I am glad the warning exists, regardless. The episode itself begins with a shot of Ironwood looking down at the kingdom. He's used his windows as a vantage point since Volume 7, so that's nothing new, but something about this particular shot reminded me of Ozpin, looking down from his tower. I'm sure the response from many would be simply, "Ah yes, the two power hungry dictators watching over their victims," but I think there's a much more nuanced reading here about leaders being expected to fix the literally unfixable and what that responsibility does to an individual. Of course, it's a nuance that is absolutely obliterated by the episode’s end, but the implication existed for a hot second!

Two other soldiers are in the room with Ironwood, reporting that Cinder has helped Watts escape. They try to soften this with news that they still have Jacques in custody, but receive only a, "I don't give a damn about Jacques Schnee." Which, fair. He's pretty useless at this point. It's when Ironwood learns that both Qrow and Robin escaped too that he really gets mad, something his subordinates have been expecting given their scared expressions.

Now, I'm treading lightly here because I realize how this is going to sound given the end of our episode, but I still want to note that outside of that ending... this is a weird take? Just hear me out. Since Volume 7 the show has worked very hard to make Ironwood seem scary and unstable — bad setup for what we end with today — but the problem is that none of it works in context and it certainly doesn't work when compared to other characters' actions. They are literally in the midst of an unwinnable battle and thousands of his people are dying. If the audience wants a human being — who also just lost a limb and was betrayed by half his allies — o remain perfectly poised and polite during that, sorry, but that's not how human beings work. But even beyond this, what’s the message here? Ironwood raises his voice, so does Yang. Ironwood hits his desk, Qrow hits a child. If we're going to examine how Ironwood handles his stress and anger, he often handles it better than many of our heroes. Namely, by continually taking that anger out on inanimate objects. I kept waiting for him to attack his subordinates or attack Winter this episode, especially given where we end up, but it never came. Ironwood always has enough control to break the desk or punch the wall, not the person in front of him. Which, of course, would not be a good thing in the real world. I want to be clear given these sensitive subjects that if someone is breaking things in your presence that's a major problem to address. But this isn't the real world. This is a fantasy world in the middle of a war, populated by other characters who express their anger by punching people, slamming them into walls, or screaming at them until they run away. The story wants us to fear Ironwood long before he makes his objectively horrific choices and it tries to achieve that by showing us characters who are clearly terrified in his presence, by giving us a string of broken objects in his wake. But those details don't land well when we compare them to other instances of stress. In the same volume I have watched Ironwood take a deep breath to calm himself down when things have gone horribly wrong. I've also watched Weiss start a conversation by threatening her defenseless brother. So again, what’s the message here? It can’t be that acting violently towards someone = villainous behavior because, as established since Volume 6, that’s common for the heroes. Why are these subordinates terrified about Ironwood slamming his fist on a table, but Whitley has no problem hugging the woman who threatened him? Obviously there is a HUGE difference between our main group and Ironwood when it comes to other actions (cough-bomb threats-cough), but these day-to-day moments don't match up. The show wants to use violence as a way for us to easily identify the Bad Guy while ignoring all the times when our heroes do the same thing. 

All of which isn't meant to be a defense of Ironwood. As we'll see in a bit, there is no defense for what he's done. Rather, it's a way of acknowledging just how badly he's been written. Why does a man who consistently reins in his anger and takes it out on objects suddenly shoot a councilman for literally no reason? Why does a man defined by wanting to save as many people as he can suddenly threaten to bomb his city? Ironwood's characterization is all over the place, in the sense that they keep writing him as the morally gray, sometimes harsh, but ultimately compassionate man he started out as... up until they need a villain. Salem isn't here yet, so Ironwood can shoot Oscar. Salem isn't attacking yet, so Ironwood can shoot the councilman. Salem is currently reforming, so Ironwood can threaten YJR and Mantle. He's the B-plot villain whenever Salem is out of commission, which is a problem for both their characterizations. This filler doesn't make sense for Ironwood and it severely undermines the threat of Salem. You finally introduce the Magical Big Bad and our heroes are facing more of a threat from a guy with a broken army and three loyal allies left? Hmmm.

The tl;dr is that Ironwood's arc is a disaster and, frankly, it's gotten old reading simplified takes of, "It's just a realistic look at what white U.S. men will do in power sweetie :) " RWBY does not have the context capable of conveying that sort of critical take because our world is not besieged by literal monsters and an immortal witch, to say nothing of how real life good guys do not get deus ex machina canes that fix the problem instantaneously. Ironwood is not an example of anti-U.S. imperialism, he's an example of writers who don't know how to write.

Anyway, I'm getting severely off topic. Obviously Ironwood is a major part of this episode, but the problems demonstrated here are two years in the making. This is the culmination of things I've been discussing for months across hundreds of posts... so I should probably stop trying to summarize it all in a few paragraphs lol. Perhaps when RWBY is over — or Ironwood has died — I'll do a single meta on his character, try to pull everything into one, unified argument.

For now though, we have an episode to analyze.

While Ironwood is receiving this news we get flashbacks to Qrow and Robyn. Qrow attacks a soldier in his bird form, which is hilarious. Someone GIF that please. It does raise some interesting questions about this magic though: does Qrow retain his aura and strength in this form (something I thought given his choice to transform during the explosion), or was that soldier just so shocked at being attacked by a crow that he went down easy? We'll never know, because that would require establishing concrete rules for this world. The point is Qrow is going feral in his freedom, throwing punches left and right — did he kill that guard? — while Robyn watches it all from under a rock. They're apparently still somewhere in the facility since all the exits are guarded, but that's not the good thing Ironwood seems to think it is. After all, Qrow is out to murder him. He wants to be there.

We all see where this is going, right? The show is going to ignore Qrow's crazy belief that Ironwood got Clover killed in favor of a "Qrow saved Mantle by murdering Ironwood"/“Qrow got revenge for Mantle by murdering Ironwood” ending. Who cares why Qrow wanted to kill him in the first place now that Ironwood has his finger on the trigger? If RWBY is good at anything, it's writing moments that encourage you to ignore everything that came before it. We'll be seeing more of that in just a bit.

"Damn it!" Ironwood yells, because the show is leaning into its cursing. He orders that the subordinates not return until "you have Qrow Branwen in custody." Here we have another great example of the show conflating what the audience knows with what other characters know. See, we know Qrow has a vendetta against Ironwood. We know their relationship is the important one to the story and that Robyn is incidental. Ironwood doesn't know that. There's no reason for him, as a character, to specify that they only bring Qrow back, but it makes sense for the audience who has the whole, thematic picture. Our understanding of the situation is influencing Ironwood's dialogue, which is... not great.

This entire scene we've had creepy music to hammer home just how evil Ironwood is. Except, as said, he takes a breath to calm down and the music fades. Instead of flying into a rage, hurting someone, or doing anything the music suggests he might, Ironwood calmly calls in for an update — which is when the explosion hits.

It's MASSIVE, seeming to originate from a lightning strike, which is weird, since it's coming from inside the whale, but whatever. The animation is very dramatic and pretty, as we've come to expect of RWBY, but the actual plot is lackluster at best. It's funny though because I thought for a hot second, when Winter and the Ace Ops were caught in the blast, that RWBY had actually done something exciting. I mean, holy shit! There are the deaths we expect from a battle like this. My god, what is everyone going to do when they realize that Oscar's needless attack took out five characters, including Weiss' sister —

No wait, never mind. They're fine.

Let's talk about that "needless" descriptor for a moment though. Do you all remember, two weeks ago, when I went, "Hey, why isn't anyone telling Oscar that that Ace Ops are approaching with a bomb? They're on a time limit! If someone would just mention that Very Important Information then Oscar wouldn't keep standing around to fight Salem." See, at the time I was frustrated because of how the plot was needlessly allowing Oscar to put himself in danger (especially when the whole point of this mission was to rescue him). Now, I'm frustrated because that same plot needlessly wasted the most powerful weapon the group had. There was no reason for Oscar to use literal lifetimes worth of stored energy when the heroes already had a bomb to do the same job! What was the point of that? I guess he took out the other grimm too, but without the whale that still would have been a challenge with a finite end, one Ironwood's army and the remaining huntsmen should have been able to handle. It doesn't feel justified to have Oscar use a weapon kept on the bench for lifetimes when there was another option literally minutes away.

There's so much wrong with this I need another list. So:

Ozpin's cane supposedly stores kinetic energy, which may contradict what we've seen from it before. Regardless, we’ve never heard about this. The all powerful weapon comes out of nowhere

It also begs the question of why Ozpin wouldn't use that power at Beacon and why he wouldn't insist that they try to get their cane back while captured. You had an out this whole time! But we’re going to ignore that because Oscar is a little hesitant? 

Which makes YJR's presence even more useless than it originally was, which was already pretty useless. Oscar essentially rescued himself

This kinetic energy miraculously doesn't hurt any people or buildings, just grimm

So what is the point of Silver Eyes? That's been their MO since they were first introduced. Sure, Silver Eyes can be used far more often than Ozpin's cane, but it still feels like a let down to learn that the Big Secret behind this weapon is... the exact same thing Ruby has been doing for years

Like Ruby, Oscar likewise didn't need any practice or training. He just set off this massive attack perfectly and without issue

We have now eliminated the biggest threat to the cast instantaneously — the whale and the other grimm — with no effort from the rest of the heroes. Like the Hound, the stakes are obliterated with no satisfying work on the part of our protagonists 

Instead, as said, the actual plan already in place never happened. The bomb just... goes back. Kind of like how Cinder attacked and then just went back to Salem. Penny woke up and then just got knocked out again. We continue to go in circles 

This is because no one took two seconds to tell Oscar, "There's a bomb on the way"

Because this threat is gone the show needs a new one, hence Ironwood randomly threatening Mantle with said bomb

The one way we might have justified Oscar blowing up the whale instead of Winter is if he did it to save Hazel, but Hazel is implied to be dead

Maybe he's alive, but if he's not that happened off screen and we're not sure how. It couldn't have been because of the blast itself — everyone else is fine — so what, Salem somehow killed him before she was blasted to bits? While he was holding her? 

And there's no body?

Salem was torn apart multiple times during that fight and reformed instantaneously, yet now, conveniently, she's taking her time

None of the characters mention the issues above. None of them admit that there was no reason for Oscar to waste LIFETIMES worth of power when they already had a solution in the works. Fantastic

I need to take a moment to acknowledge that so far this recap feels... bad. Disjointed. Bit all over the place. Which makes a certain amount of sense because that's where my thoughts are at. There's so much going on in this episode — so much wrong with it — that I don't know how to boil it all down into a few, neat claims. This episode is a mess! We're barely a few minutes in and the combined issues of Ironwood's characterization and Oscar's choice have left me reeling. So if you're still reading this, bless your patience, I think we'll both need it for the rest of this journey.

Let's snag a neater plot-point to discuss. Amidst all the chaos Neo literally skips away with the Lamp, clearly thrilled at how her own life is going. Later in the episode she'll text Cinder with the obvious: Salem is going to be pretty pissed when she realizes this is gone. “If you want her name you know what you owe me." 

So wait... what is Neo leveraging here? Is she agreeing to give the Lamp back so Cinder doesn't get in trouble with Salem? Give Salem the password she's been looking for? Or give Cinder the password to use the Lamp for herself? What would Cinder even want the Lamp for when she's after the Maiden powers? I'm confused about what Cinder is being blackmailed with. Regardless, she needs the lamp for something and presumably what she "owes" Neo is Ruby. We get a cut to her just to hammer that home.

(Side note: both pictures of Neo are hilarious.) 

Before that though, back at the whale, everyone is taking stock of the situation when Marrow cries, "Hey, they were still in there!" I feel like this is another scene meant to make him look like the one good guy in the group — he cares about YJOR while the others can’t be bothered — but as always, that reading doesn't fit well with the situation as a whole. The others have barely had time to realize they're alive. I don't think it's a moral failing that they didn't instinctually worry about four betrayers, one of whom attacked them, while they're still checking that they have all their limbs intact. Besides, why does Marrow assume they're dead? The Ace Ops were caught in the blast as well, yet miraculously came out unharmed. They clearly didn't set their own bomb off, so it's logical to assume that YJOR did something themselves. It feels weird to have a "Marrow mourns them and Winter is the only other character who cares" moment when everyone is recovering from bomb shock and no one even knows if the others are dead. But, of course, the show is out to portray only two of these characters as good people, so ignore the logic and run with the emotion of the scene.

All of which is bolstered by Elm pulling away when Vine puts a hand on her shoulder. Why is she acting cold towards him now? Because they're not friends, remember?

While we get more ridiculous relationship dynamics, Ironwood calls in and congratulates them on the bomb working, but tells them to get back because they have another problem in the works. That would be Qrow and Robyn. Winter decides to tell him about the bomb in person.

We cut to Watts and Cinder watching the remnants of the blast from a rooftop. Cinder has tried calling, but no one answered. Unsurprising, given that Salem doesn't have any other allies left. Cinder says that the plan hasn't changed, she's still going to take the Winter Maiden's power for herself, and Watts can help her by bringing Penny here. He explains that he doesn't have full control over her. Rather, he implemented a virus that is setting her on a single path: open the vault, then self-destruct. Cinder, as one might expect, is furious.

She snags Watts by her grimm arm and threatens to toss him over the side of the building. Thus begins the best part of the episode, hands down. Despite the danger he's in, Watts throws common sense out the window in favor of dragging Cinder in the most satisfying manner possible. 

“You think you’re entitled to everything just because you suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you have to be worthy! But all you have ever been is a bloody migraine!”

It's true! You know what else is true? This speech could apply to our heroes as well. Accusations of entitlement and reminders to be smart as opposed to just strong hit hard, considering those are the same flaws our protagonists are struggling with. The difference is that Cinder, miraculously, listens, pulling Watts back to safety and going to cry by herself. That moment is simultaneously more growth than Ruby has gotten and more sympathy than Ironwood has gotten. The woman who murdered Pyrrha is treated more kindly by the narrative than one of our initial heroes and our very first villain has taken more time to reconsider her choices than our title character. You know a show is falling apart when excellent choices are applied to the worst possible character.

So Cinder is crying while Watts looks guilty and we cut back to YJOR's group post-blast. Yang is finally able to answer a call from Blake who is obviously overjoyed to see her. Weiss gives them directions to the mansion and they ask what in the world they'll do with Emerald, currently on her knees, mourning Hazel.

Thus begins the third most frustrating part of this episode. See, on the way back the group continues the conversation about what to do with Emerald, with Yang and Jaune distrusting her vs. Ren and Oscar encouraging cooperation. I can't believe I'm saying this after's Ren's speech and Oscar's entire existence... but I'm team Jaune and Yang here. Look, what Oscar and Ren say — the literal words coming out of their mouth — is nonsense. Ren goes, “We can’t let all of our actions stem from fear," as if Yang and Jaune are being ridiculous for mistrusting Emerald, one of the established villains, after years worth of harm from her. It’s weird that Yang points to her arm as something Emerald is responsible for, rather than being framed or the deaths at Beacon, but the general sentiment of, “She’s done horrible things!” is true. Ren’s perspective is the same simplification that was applied to Ironwood last volume, wherein everyone acted as if he was crazy for fearing an attack on his kingdom... post an attack on another kingdom and pre an attack on his kingdom. Putting generic lines in Ren's mouth about not being afraid makes him sound willfully ignorant, as if choosing to believe that someone is good will magically make them so, to say nothing of thinking it will erase all the harm they've already done.

Oscar at least acknowledges the difficulty here, but then follows this up with, “You don’t have to forgive her… just give her a second chance."

Oscar, honey, that amounts to the same thing in this situation. Allowing Emerald a second chance means working with her, which means trust, which means emotionally reaching a point where these characters can put aside the harm she's done them in an effort to give her that chance in the first place. This actually ties into a post I saw last night, one I've come across before, that claims redemption arcs don't require any suffering on the part of the person who has done wrong. I agree in theory, that prolonged suffering doesn't help anyone, but the problem is that people tend to conflate suffering with consequences and someone who has done this level of harm should face consequences for their actions. The problem with redemption arcs is not that the bad people suffer too much —  emotionally and physically beating on them as a form of revenge  — but that the people they've harmed are put into situations like this one. If Yang and Jaune let Emerald go like she suggests, they are agreeing that she doesn't have to face any consequences for the damage she's done (which, keep in mind, involves multiple deaths, not including all the lost lives here in Atlas). If they agree to give her a second chance, they are forced to jump straight to some level of forgiveness. We might claim they don't have to forgive Emerald to work with her, but from a practical perspective how are they meant to function, especially during a warzone? Anything she provides them with — information, watching their back in a fight, undertaking missions, etc.  — requires trusting her enough to allow those things to happen: working with that info, letting her protect them, allowing her that responsibility. It's all about trust, trust she has yet to earn. In order for a redemption arc to be successful, the power has to be in the hands of the victims. They need to be able to see some justice for what was done to them, be offered some proof that the person in question has truly changed, and have the ability to walk away if they decide no, I don't forgive you, glad to hear you've improved, but please stay out of my life. Jaune and Yang have none of that. There are currently no systems in place for Emerald to face consequences for her choices, she has offered them no proof of her remorse or true motivations, and the other half of the group is pressuring them to give her that second chance without closure or reassurance. None of that makes for a good redemption arc and reducing that to, "So you want to see poor Emerald suffer, huh?" ignores the suffering she has already caused. The group are her victims and they are under no obligation to give her a second chance, particularly under these circumstances, which makes the story's choice to have Ren and Oscar act like Yang and Jaune are being stubborn or inconsiderate a problem. The conversation boils down to, "Give the woman you know to be a liar, manipulator, murder accomplice, and servant of our enemy a second chance based entirely on unfounded faith. If you don't you're letting yourself be ruled by fear."

RWBY's touchy-feely themes really don't sit well within its realistic, morally gray premise. We cannot continually have these characters go through hell one moment and then have others accuse them of being paranoid the next. The fact that all of this is wrapped up in the group trusting Robyn, Emerald, and Hazel over their established allies remains beyond frustrating.

Because yeah, you know how Oscar finishes his speech? “I’ve already gotten a lot of help today from someone I don’t exactly trust right now." Meaning Ozpin.

The story is trying to compare Emerald and Hazel to Ozpin.

"Oh hey, I kept a secret from you after lifetimes of watching that secret lead to betrayal and death. I keep apologizing for my mistakes while ignoring that I had no reason to trust a bunch of kids with such world-shattering information and also that you tore it from me in the most traumatic way possible."

"Oh hey, I willingly joined our world's version of the devil and helped her destroy your school, leading to numerous deaths including your friend and headmaster. It was his death that put Oscar in this position in the first place! I then continued to attack your group, leading to another near death of a friend, and a kidnapping, and the destruction of Amity, until I became scared enough to make a run for it."

Which one of these characters is granted an instant second chance? You'll never guess who!

And I do think the word "instant" is important here because just like Jaune and Yang have the right to have distance and justice from Emerald, they had that right with Ozpin too. The difference is they got it. They had the power in the situation, as evidenced by their use of the Lamp and physically attacking him. Ozpin heard what they needed from him — leave us alone — and did that without complaint. They were given months to come to terms with the secrets he kept. They were offered apologies and acts of service to demonstrate intent: saving them in the airship and continually saving Oscar. I don't believe Ozpin ever needed a redemption arc, but even if we think he did, he had it. After three volumes of material Oscar's perspective is still "I don't exactly trust [him] right now" but Hazel and Emerald have earned at least the same amount of trust in a matter of hours? They're really having my boy look at the guy who has tried desperately to do right by him despite unimaginable circumstances, and the guy who tortured him to get information for Salem, and went, "That first guy. He's the one we need to watch out for."

To make things even worse, Oscar tells the others that Ozpin took on all the torture so he wouldn't have to. So he did that and they still don't trust him? If you had told me back in Volume 6 that two years later the group would still be hostile towards Ozpin, while simultaneously urging one another to trust Emerald, I would have said you were lying. RWBY has its problems, but it's not that bad. Yet here we are. I suppose the one silver lining here is that Ren smiles when he realizes Ozpin is back? So at least one of them isn't prepared to draw their weapon at the mere mention of his name.

Both these moments raise more questions though. How in the world did Ozpin take on that torture when we clearly saw Oscar getting pummeled for a good portion of the kidnapping? Is that a weird merge thing the story hasn't bothered to explain? I wouldn't be surprised, considering Oscar said last episode he didn't want to use magic because it hastened the merge, he uses the biggest explosion of magic we've ever seen, and nothing has changed. Ozpin is still in the back of his head, thanking him for the tinniest shreds of decency they get. Ren, meanwhile, seems to be back to mindreading. How in the world does he know that Ozpin is back? I assume it has something to do with his semblance, but we don't know what. They could have shown us Oscar from Ren's perspective, perhaps with two distinct emotions swilling around to imply that he sees two different people now, not a useless shot of Emerald with purple flower petals, whatever purple means.

Oh, but no, we shouldn't have gotten either of these scenes. Remember that Ren's aura broke a very, very short time ago? Is it back already? Can he use this part of his semblance without it? Considering it was near impossible to see Ironwood's aura breaking in the Watts fight and we were then mistakenly told he used his semblance in the office, I'm going to go with, "The writers forgot."

Oscar explains that the cane had "lifetime after lifetime" of power in it and though there's still some left, "we have to be careful with how we use the rest." He says that Ozpin trusted his judgement and of course he did! Ozpin also didn’t know that there was a bomb on the way. Yet funnily enough, no one else mentions that, whoops, your choice made in ignorance was a waste and that's due entirely to us prioritizing hugs over basic mission information.

Also, all these explanations take place in front of Emerald. Half the group doesn't trust her, but they'll freely discuss their powers and limitations here. Remember how the group once wanted to talk about magical relics in front of the old lady they'd just met? Yeah, they've learned nothing.

Combine all this insanity with the fact that Ozpin's magic saved the day before Ironwood's bomb could do the same... while Ruby sat in a mansion drinking tea. Who's our hero again?

So things are a hot mess, to put it lightly. Their conversation finally ends when they hear voices and round the corner to find all the Atlas citizens huddled in the subway. For once the show actually writes them in a sympathetic manner, emphasizing how terrified and helpless they are. This image doesn't lead the group to any revelations though, certainly not anything that would tie back to Ren's earlier speech in the snow. No, once again the justified criticisms here are ignored as we hear that “However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you, [Emerald.]” That's it then. Discussion over. We knew as soon as it started that blindly trusting her was being presented as the "right" thing to do and now here we are, deciding that conclusively, despite Jaune and Yang's complaints. By the time the group reaches the mansion, Oscar is defending Emerald from Ruby. We're supposed to just accept that she's a part of the group now, only minimal pushback allowed.

Before that though we return to Ironwood getting news that their bomb never went off. He briefly wonders who else could have done that, but puts the currently unanswerable question aside for what he does know. They still have the bomb and it could be "useful." See, this moment — like shooting Oscar and the councilman — is when Ironwood just randomly goes off the deep end. One minute he's talking about what they've lost and cradling his new arm, 

the next he's saying that he should have tortured Qrow to get Penny to obey him! Which doesn't even make sense since I'm pretty sure Penny hasn't ever spoken to Qrow. She wouldn't want anyone to suffer, true, but it's not like Ironwood had a close friend like Ruby to use as leverage. Qrow is just Some Guy to her. Regardless, he thinks Yang, Jaune, and Ren are decent replacements, despite Penny also having no relationships with them. This is what happens when your characters only start breaking up their teams eight years into the story, the response to Ironwood wanting to torture Ren to hurt Penny is, “Does Penny know Ren exists?” But, you know, torture is torture, right? Maybe. Probably not. I mean, if they're going to turn Ironwood into a cartoon villain, they could at least keep him smart.

Because all of this is just the height of stupidity. Ironwood wants to torture people Penny barely knows to make her listen (so just grab some civilians? It would do the same job...). Ironwood wants to shoot down empty ships, even though no one, including us, knows where in the world those ships would have gone. Ironwood wants to destroy an entire city to try and save another city. He wants to use a bomb meant for a comparatively small whale and acts like that alone will take out the majority of a kingdom. None of it makes sense! And I know the easy comeback for that is, "Well yeah, Ironwood is crazy and evil" but he's not. I mean he is. Threatening torture and bombings is obviously evil, but he's never been insane, or stupid. As said before, his arc (or lack thereof) is an absolute disaster. The fandom assumes so many things about Ironwood given the opportunity — the whale is a suicide mission. He expects the Ace Ops to die on his order — and the writing hints at so many things that never happen — he's going to hurt his subordinates, attack Winter for disobeying him — and every time what we actually get is a far more compassionate, level-headed character... until he randomly does a 180 and goes, "Let's murder a whole city now!" I never wanted Ironwood to be the bad guy, but they could have at least given me a persuasive decent into this level of horror.

So... yeah. Ironwood has got to die by the end of the volume, yeah? Between Ruby warning the whole world about him and him going into full villain mode, there's no coming back from this.

Neo sends her text to Cinder and the group makes it back to the mansion. Remember Yang's criticisms of Ruby's leadership? The ones she conveniently forgot about when Ren started to agree with her? Yeah, those are entirely gone as the sisters hug it out and, presumably, forgive one another for... daring to admit that things are bad? Look, I'm not going to deny that Ironwood's scene with Winter was creepy as fuck, 

but I'm not of the opinion that the heroes are any better when it comes to the theme of obedience. They've attacked one another, screamed at one another, and any dissent from Ruby's leadership results in the questioner being left behind in the snow. We'll accept you again when you fall back in line. I used to adore the relationships in this show, but watching them now is just discomforting. The show might be 100% more obvious with Ironwood, using creepy music, a smile, and that hand on Winter's shoulder, but the concept of, "Sorry I dared to question you before! We won't ever do it again :)" isn't healthy either. The fact that the show keeps erasing theses problems with hugs — Weiss hugs Whitley now, Yang hugs Ruby, someone will probably hug Emerald soon — doesn't make the circumstances any less uncomfortable.

None of this even gets into the Blake and Yang hug. First of all, why is Blake acting like they had a fight and Yang might not want to see her? She's hiding inside rather than rushing to greet them, ears down in a devastated expression until Yang touches her. Combine this with Yang's "Do you think she's mad at me?" and it feels like the writers cut a fight in the final script and then didn't bother to remove the fallout from that. Seriously, where did any of this come from? You can't just have characters act like they've been fighting when they haven’t.

Also, can't forget this.

At this point there's nothing more I can say in regards to RWBY's almost-queer baiting. Is touching foreheads more intimate than the hugs Yang gave the others? Absolutely. Is that an appropriate stand-in for overt representation? Absolutely not. This would have been a perfect time for them to kiss. Take out Blake's nonsensical fear and replace it with them both reuniting after their first separation since Volume 5, working under the knowledge that either one could have been killed, finally admitting their feelings. Hell, they don't actually have to kiss. Not all girlfriends are interested in kissing! But they could use the terminology that makes things unequivocally canon.  Another forehead touch when we got that in Volume 6? It's not enough, especially not when our straight couples have all been allowed their rep.

Ren at least wants to know where Nora is. He's presumably told what happened off screen as Oscar tells Ruby that Emerald is their friend now.

Then an emergency call from May interrupts the reunion and the group learns that Ironwood is bombing the Schnee ships. “Those ships… they were going to save people” Weiss whispers. How? Tell me how they were going to save anyone. Where were you going to take these people where they would be safer than where they are now? RWBY continually asserts things without explaining them, meaning there is precisely zero emotional weight here. Again, Ironwood is far past the point of defense, but I'd be a whole lot more critical of this particular action if I had a better sense of why it's bad. He appears to be endangering the people given May's shout to run — falling debris? — but the further implication is that Ironwood has doomed the people of Mantle by denying them these ships. It's that part that makes no sense based on what we've been told.

Which finally comes to the ultimatum of our episode title: Penny opens the vault, or Ironwood bombs Mantle. Great! So glad this plan is wicked smart and works well for his characterization. It's definitely not a nonsensical, unfounded, overblown change that feels like it belongs in a child's cartoon, complete with dramatic spotlight. Nope. Excellent writing choices all around.

Our final line of the episode is, “I hope you live up to the title I gave you," referring to Penny's job as the Protector of Mantle, and you know what? That line could have been very cool if it was delivered by an Ironwood with a persuasive fall and a halfway decent plan in place. I love that we've twisted the concept of a protector and turned the title into a horrifying, rather than honorable responsibility... I just hate everything surrounding those details. 

So, usual RWBY fare.

(At least we get to see that Nora is awake!) 

Will things get better over the next four episodes? I doubt it. We're still expecting the rest of the Ace Ops + Winter to ditch Ironwood, someone getting the vault open, the fall of Atlas, now the potential destruction of Mantle, and none of that includes Salem who should reform at any moment. Frankly, I'm not looking forward to any of it. The final leg of a season should make its audience excited to see how everything turns out, not dreading it. I've heard from multiple people that this is the volume that finally got them to drop the show and honestly? I'm not surprised.

As a final (happier?) note: we've finally got a bingo! I completely forgot our board last time, which was a terrible oversight, but we can update it now.

Our army of grimm can't kill anyone now that it got KOed by Oscar (that is the third one hit defeat of a major enemy we've seen this volume. Yes, I'm including the Hound considering it was obviously on its last legs after Ruby's eyes.)

I'm likewise including "Ozpin apologizes for everything including his existence" because he's done nothing but apologize since he came back. The emotion is there even if the literal words are not. Oscar reminded everyone of how untrustworthy he is, but kept the group from jumping them again. And Ozpin thanked him for it.

Neo didn't literally backstab Cinder (shame), but the Relic still counts.

So a triple bingo! Is that how bingo works? Idk, I've never played. I feel like I should have thought up some sort of humorous prize, but sadly I've got nothing. If you think of anything, let me know lol

That’s all then, folks. Until next week! 💜

[keity-devil]

@breathlessmorro I said I will do it, I did it. [I have 2 more. But, they are not very good (maybe not yet), I am not sure even with this one.]. But Enjoy!

--

The Closet

--

"Hey, did anyone see Morro?"

Kai had been looking for him for several hours. He told himself at first that maybe he went to get some air, as he usually did when he wanted to be alone, but it was already too long if that was true. He was nowhere in the Monastery, and worries arose.

"No. Why?" Cole answered, stopping the video game.

"Hey!!" Jay yelled at him.

"I can't find it anywhere." He ignored Jay's outraged scream. "And one of my hoodie is gone too. I think Morro took it. ...Again." It didn't bother him, he thought it was cute that Morro had this tick to take his hoodie, especially since Kai's clothes are a little bigger and wider than Morro's body.

"No, sorry buddy. I didn't see him." Jay restarts the game. "Hey! It's not fair." Cole yells at him.

"What you did before wasn't- HA! I won!!"

Kai rolled his eyes and left the room.

'Where can he be? Master Wu didn't see him either. And yet, he is calm about it.'

Kai enters Morro's room again. He hoped he might be back or find something. Kai step slowly inside. Everything seemed in its place. However, there was something. The door to Morro's closet was slightly open. He went to her. When he opened it...

"Morro?!" Kai had found him. In the closet.

"O-oh.. Hey, Kai." Morro said slightly embarrassed. Kai noticed that Morro was wearing his missing hoodie.

"Hey, hey. Are you okay?" It wasn't a good sign. He sat down at his level.

"Yes.. yes. Yes I am. Mhm."

Kai had taken his hands in his. "You are cold."

"Yes? When am I not?" Some of his black hair had fallen out in front of him.

"Yeah.. And what are you doing in the closet?! I've been looking for you all day!"

"Uh... I was, arranging my clothes?"

"Sitting in the closet? No chance."

Morro was silent, looking down. Kai had time to analyze his face, but it was slightly dark, so the chances were small.

"Come out of the closet." He said calmly.

Morro came out, and then he saw.

"You cried. And it looks like you didn't get much sleep. Why?"

"Hm? Oh no, no, no. I didn't... cry." He tried to smile.

"Don't lie to me. It's obvious on your face that it is. What happened?"

Morro stared blankly. "Nothing happened."

"Don't lie to me-" The missing hoodie was thrown in front of his face. "Morro!"

"What?! I gave it back to you!"

"I didn't ask for that. What's wrong with you?! You don't usually throw it at me like that or give it to me voluntarily. Normally I should run after you to get it back or something. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing is bothering me." He told him tightly.

"You're lying, again. You know you can't lie to me. I know your personality."

Morro looked at him, but not in his eyes as he usually did. Morro turned to take his black jacket from the chair by the window, and passed Kai as he left the room. One could hear the footsteps of the Wind Master become a run. Kai was confused, and he was already worried even more.

"What the hell happened?"

He looked around, trying to think what might have bothered Morro to behave like that. This was interrupted by a small strip of loose plastic. He went back to the door, it was Lloyd, who had opened a candy.

"Lloyd!" The blonde stopped walking at the sound of his name.

"Oh, hey Kai." Hee greets him with a smile.

"Hey. You went to the store with Morro last night, didn't you?"

"Yeah?? Why?"

"He's acting weird."

"Weird in the sense that he doesn't know how to use almost any means of technology?"

"No. Not in that weird sense, Lloyd."

"Okay. Explain."

"I found him in the closet today, with my hoodie on. And he threw it in my face! Morro didn't give it to me willingly or threw it in front of me! And on his face it was obvious that he cried and didn't sleep last night. And he didn't look me in the eye either. Did something happen outside yesterday? "

Lloyd was trying to figure out if anything was happening yesterday as he processed what Kai had just told him.

"..Oh..." Lloyd said after a while. One of shock and a wave of sadness in him.

"What?!"

"Uh.. Did you remember a few weeks or days ago those guys who bonded with you two because you're together?"

"Yes. I wanted to set them on fire there."

"Well, we met with them yesterday. And... they kind of bonded to Morro." He took a short break. "Let's just say the words got to him harshly."

"What kind of words?"

"Uh.."

"Lloyd, say it. I want to help him. And he won't tell me anything. You know how stubborn he can be. So please, tell me EVERYTHING that happened."

"Okay. Well..."

~~ - ~~

"Oh, look who's here. The Man of the Dead."

"I think you're kidding.." Morro said angrily.

"Oh, I see you're not with the guy in the red. Did he leave you?"

"Not at all. Now leave." Morro replied, smiling angrily.

"But I just came!" He approach Morro. "And you have nothing to be here. You're dead."

"Hey. Leave." Lloyd said firmly.

The guy ignores the blonde. "Maybe who knows, he lets you be with him just for 'fun'. And in reality, he doesn't want you. I mean seriously, who would want a former ghost who cursed a city and traumatized his best friend, Like a boyfriend? I certainly don't. And I don't think He will. I bet he's still dating that red-haired, hot girl, Skylor. Hm? Don't you think so?"

Morro felt his hands tremble. He didn't know if the jealousy or the harsh words that made him self-esteem in this relationship would slowly evaporate. His heart was pounding. His eyes were still on the guy. He showed no sign of weakness.

"I'm sure he'll leave you with the next mistake you make." With that, they left laughing.

Lloyd looked at Morro. "Hey, don't listen to them. They just want to fill your mind with nonsense. Kai cares about you. He wouldn't use you, hurt you or cheat. You know that."

Morro smiled at Lloyd, a slightly fake one. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Now come on, I promised you a bag of candy."

"Oh yes!!" Lloyd remembered his promise.

However, Morro's mind kept thinking about what was thrown in front of him.

~~ - ~~

Kai looked at Lloyd as if he were a ghost or something.

"WHAT?!"

"Easy! Calm, calm." Lloyd could see the fire burning between Kai's fingers.

"I am CALM."

"You don't... see that much." Kai wanted to leave, but Lloyd took his hand. "Before you make a fool of yourself, especially since you're nervous, calm down and think clearly before you do or say anything, especially to Morro. You two are like two burning matches that ran into gasoline."

Kai took a few deep breaths. "I'm calm. Can I leave now?"

"After drinking water. COLD, water."

"You're kidding- Ok. O K."

Lloyd followed Kai into the kitchen. The blonde looked at him intently. He knew Kai's character a lot, if he didn't calm him down now, a big fire would come out.

"Now I can?" He asked more calmly.

Lloyd smiled briefly. "Yes."

------

Morro was on the roof of the Monastery. The wind was beginning to spin around him. A cold, hard wind that made his hands cold.

'Maybe they're right. I'm a former villain and a ex-ghost! Kai is the good guy here. Eventually everything will end.. No..? Or you'll find someone worthy of you. Maybe he's already found one. Skylor.. Why I am alive?'

Kai had found him quickly this time. He climb carefully on the roof. He could feel the cold wind almost taking his breath away.

"Morro." Kai said his name calmly. "I know what happened last night when you went shopping with Lloyd."

The brunette didn't say a word or move. Kai's footsteps came closer until he reached him. He sit.

"Hey. Everything those guys said is completely false. Clear? I wouldn't leave you, seriously. They don't know you, I do."

Kai had taken his hand in his. It was cold. Kai took the other one as well. He had used his powers to warm them, but the wind was still cold and strong. He knew he wouldn't be able to warm him up like that.

"Calm down. Forget everything they said." Kai told him. He tried to get an answer, but everything seemed to be in vain.

Kai lit a small flame in his hand. Morro looked at her for a few seconds, and a small gust of wind had appeared beside her, causing her to move.

"I'm sorry..." Morro said. "Just.. what they said was true. I shouldn't be here. I was a ghost! What am I looking for a living again?"

"A new chance at life." Kai told him. The flame in his hand grew larger. "That's why. And I won't let you go."

"Pfft- am I caught in the net?"

"Bet you are." Morro leaned his head on Kai's shoulder. The gust of wind had caused the fire to explode, leaving small sparks to disintegrate in the air. Kai's hand reached into his partner's black hair like the void. "Your hair is annoyingly long."  Kai told him.

"Heh.. you know why I let him grow."

"Yeah, yeah I know. To piss me off more." In fact, he really liked Morro's hair, he could do a lot with it.

"Bingo."

The wind, which had previously been cold and harsh, had turned into a pleasant, calm breeze.

"But I don't understand. Why did you hide in the closet?" Kai asked curiously.

"Oh, a little childhood habit. When I was little and Wu left me alone at the Monastery, there were times when I heard strange sounds that scared me. So I hid/sat in the closet until he got home. Heh, it was full of  blankets, so it was soft. I was sleeping there."

Kai said nothing. Now he had another new thing from Morro's life on his list.

"How about you don't try to kill those guys." Morro said suddenly.

"Why not? It's worth it."

"Kai. Cherry Bom, no. Not now."

"But when then? I'm sure we can make a human barbecue beyond the city."

"When they not expected." Morro rose to his feet, stepping forward. He reached the edge of the roof. Kai looked at him a little scared. Morro dropped.

"Morro!" Kai looked down. He expected to see something serious in red, but he had only seen a beginning of laughter.

"You just didn't think- Oh My!!" Morro laughed when he saw his partner's expression. It floated lightly in the air with the help of the wind. He touched the ground behind his feet.

"I'll catch you and mess with you for that!!" Kai jumped off the roof, running after Morro. "I hate you!!"

"I love you just as much!" He yelled at Kai as he picked up speed.

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

How do the axis and the allies know that their s / o is the one?

Ah yes- everyone's favorite question! I always liked the idea of a Character being all serious face, and then either looking shocked, or completely melt over their new found feelings!

Trigger Warnings: Slight mention of minor violent behavior, and mention of invasive thoughts

Allies and Axis find the one! (Their S/O)

Allies:

America:

Is was on one of their field trips.

His S/O became obsessed with a certain place in America, and he vowed to help cross it off their bucket list.

Even though it was the umpteenth time seeing them smile, it felt different.

His face blushed and all he could see was his S/O in the lightening.

Their movements, no matter how fluid or clumsy, seemed to radiate their excitement.

There was just something about it that made America momentarily forget what he was doing.

Something in him wanted to capture this moment and he pulled them in for a selfie.

Even after the moment passed, whenever he looked at that picture, it gave him that slight buzz he felt from when the picture was taken.

Driving to the designated location with every love song that played forced the scenerio in his mind.

Then all at once, as his face turned red, he realized how badly he wanted to have them by his side for the rest of their life.

England

It was another fancy party his boss made him go to. His S/O decided to stay at his place for whatever reason, and assured him they'd be fine without him for a few hours.

But he wasn't.

Every woman who passed by in a flowing dress, or every man who just looked particularly good made him think of his S/O, dressed to the nines in their own style, more than certainly becoming the center of attention.

But then that fantasy fades the longer it lasted. He started thinking about how everyone's eyes would hunger for his S/O and it made him feel off.

He didn't recover until he got home, his S/O greeting them at the door in messy pajamas, some food stuck to their cheek.

Right there did England's heart flip and his face grew flush.

He felt a nervous, but serine, sensation take him over.

Seeing his Love in their own element, not caring for any fancy clothing, or heavy make up to show him upon returning made him realize just how much he desired them. No matter the form, or outfit he just loved them, and all they were, and will be.

France:

France considered himself to be easy to fall for, so for a small while his S/O was just another woman who desired him.

Though he thought the world of his S/O (and those before them) he just always assumed they wouldn't last, no matter how much money, or fancy parties and outfits they were given. They'd just leave.

But time and time again his S/O had him stunned by how little they wanted from him, material wise.

He didn't mean to fall so hard, and so quickly, but he did. Seeing their independence, but also seeing their want for him confused him.

He knew what he was feeling due to all the one sided love he's had for a few others. And it scared him.

He'd know the whole time his true feelings, but wanted to be sure his S/O felt the same. Even if it meant waiting till their last breath.

What really put the nail in the coffin was when they asked him how he felt about their relationship. He was prepared for a break up until his Darling started to giggle.

He knew they'd be his forever when they said something about being lost without him. Their serious look striking through his heart. He had to fight with them that night, beg even, to let him spoil them in anything they wanted.

China:

He can be a prideful kind of guy, even he knows it. It's just, he's been around for so long, and knows the outcome of most scenerios due to all of his years of experiencing life, he's just... Stopped caring about how he comes off to others.

This had led to many people coming in, and quickly going out of his life. No matter the optimism they showed for being with him, it quickly vanished.

But not for his S/O.

It was one day in particular he was being a bit... Rude to his S/O. The argument was over something incredibly small, but as usual china felt otherwise.

He was taken a back when his S/O accused him of purposely trying to push them away, despite the hardwork they put in the relationship.

He immediately froze on the spot and couldn't mutter another word other than a brief apology. Claiming to needed air to calm down.

Once he calmed down he realized they were right. They have been bending over backwards and it made him feel guilty. But then his heart started to beat. The fact they tried so hard, and for him, made him feel something new.

He didn't want them to be anything than what he fell in love with, and by going above and beyond for him did they seem to almost become a stranger to him.

He then got despirate and ran to his S/O, admitting his new feelings on the spot. He didn't want to lose the person he loves so dearly, just because he didn't know how to swallow his pride sometimes.

Russia:

His S/O knew it was going to be a rough ride being with Russia. Between the physical affection, both public and private, and the odd mood swings he has had, it was obvious it was going to take him longer to feel about them, as they did him. But that was fine.

Russia on the other hand did know what he wanted, and what he liked. Ivan's issue was sifting through those emotions and trying to figure out which ones were okay, and which ones would scare off his S/O.

He decided to land on 'learning by example'. If his S/O wanted a hug, he can give hugs. They cried? He tried to sympathize and thought of things that hurt him, and also cried. Though he had a habit of accidentally taking the attention off of his S/O when that happens.

Only later on realizing it and feeling dumb or guilty, but not wanting to bring it up since his S/O recovered.

Oh but the biggest thing that made him want to hang onto them was the one or two accidents where he got a little... Agressive and panicked, accidentally hurt his S/O in the process.

The first time it happened was when a misunderstanding escalated Because he just, couldn't communicate his thoughts and his S/O pushed to far, only wanting to help. He bruised them by the throat when he grabbed them to try and keep them away for their own safety. Not meaning to grab their neck, he just grabbed for them in general, really aiming for their shirt. But they never left him after that.

The second incident they caught him clawing at some scars, weeping painfully. No one else has seen him like that and he panicked. He trapped them in a corner, and threatened them to never say a single thing, but his S/O reached out for him to try and console him, but it ended in more bruising when he pushed them away, thinking they were Reaching out to leave him. But they never left...

They never left. They had told him countless times that it was just an accident. But how many accidents could his Sunflower take? He only started forgiving himself when they mentioned how each time he panicked like that, he became better at expressing himself, via a bit agressively with his words. But now.

He never realized he wasn't as upset whenever his S/O and him run into a misunderstanding. It was then he realized they didn't plan on leaving, and it was then he realized he wanted the same thing they did, and decided to strive to get better. Even if it meant asking for help...

Axis:

Germany:

He's always so stressed out and annoyed by all the work his Boss dumps on him. He is so overwhelmed he forgot a few documents in his home office.

Before he could ever really get concern his phone buzzed.

His S/O had called him to ask about the exact papers he needed for that day's meeting. He blushed as his S/O mentioned how quickly he left the house, and was concerned he'd forgotten something other than locking his office like he usually does.

He couldn't even get upset that his S/O snooped in his office when he left. He was too flattered that his S/O's immediate thought was whether or not he had everything.

Over the phone he was able to get the information he needed, and after swearing to secrecy, he let his S/O hang up.

During the meeting he was particularly distracted by those hand written notes. If it wasn't for how caring his S/O was he'd have been in deep trouble.

Then it got him. He felt warm, and fuzzy as he came across the thought "They must love me that much-" and it struck him a certain way.

He knew they were dating, and were close but up until now the word love only had so much weight to it. Now it was both words and actions, and he wants to make sure his S/O feels just like he did. He wants them to know exactly how much he's fallen for them, and perhaps how he will never stop falling for them.

Japan:

Japan is another one who takes a while to get close too.

He doesn't mean to be so anti-affectionate it's just, he's so anxious about the world around him sometimes.

Being a country isn't all it's cracked up to be but his S/O already knew that.

That was one of the things he loved about him... Oh.

He knew he had feelings, but as time went by he didn't realize how much they grew. He never really said 'I Love You'. Despite his S/O saying it often enough, he'd usually give a soft smile and nod.

Then he face palmed at how much of a jerk he's been. Immediately he had the urge to go talk about it and apologize, but the closer he got to his S/O the more the word 'love' bounced around in his head.

He loved them. He loved them? Yeah. This is a new and Terrifying thing he's experiencing.

With sweaty palms and a clear throat the only thing he could ask was "Do you love me?" Causing his S/O to blush and giggle.

He slowly grew mortified at the situation. His S/O told him that, of course they loved him! But what they said next surprised him, and made him internally melt.

"But you don't have to say it if you can't. I just wanted you to know that no matter how long it takes, I'm still here for you..."

His chest swelled and despite not being able to show his full affection, it was certainly pushing at the seams, ready to burst.

Italy:

He wasn't shy with women, or men, and loved giving others attention as much as receiving it. But some days he's just, Too exhausted and just wants to be alone for a bit.

Though seeing his S/O is always a welcoming sight. The way he treated his S/O versus how he flirts with others made it increasingly obvious that he only flirted out of habit.

Though while alone he slowly felt guilty about it. Then he started wondering why his S/O was still around. Then other thoughts about him and his flaws started getting to him.

He lazily walked to his S/O, quiet and shy about his question. And when he asked why they stayed he was surprised by their confused.

"Because I love you?"

Oh yeah. Then he smiled and went for a hug but something about the way they held him made him feel different?

It wasn't a normal hug. They didn't pull away and they both stood there. Italy's excitement faded again once he realized they were comforting him.

It almost made him cry, but his heart was beating too fast, and in that moment it felt like his S/O knew everything about him. He felt loved but not understood before this.

And it made him want to never let them go.

Tada~ I know some of them are kind of sad, but relationships aren't always fluffy clouds and marshmellos. Sometimes the greatest realizations come from learning curves and heat of the moment scenerios. With that said, it's not just about following your heart. Sometimes it's just recognizing the thing you truly desire is already right there. As long as it's for the better, and as long as your willing to give equal work towards your futures!

[buckyownsmylife]

v e l o c i t y - chapter ii

The one where John’s your true mate, but he doesn’t want you to be his.

In a universe where fate grants you a new mate whenever you lose yours, John has lived quite comfortably for many years with the knowledge that he was alone after Mary. That all comes crumbling down the second that he meets you. How could the universe choose someone so young to be his omega?

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist. It’s being constantly updated

John’s P.O.V.

God fucking damn it. Just what the hell was going on back in Bobby’s house and why the hell wasn’t he picking up the phone?

For the first time since I left her behind, I found myself considering I should have at least given my omega - no, not my omega, just Y/N - enough attention to ask her for her number. At least it would have been handy in a time like this one, where my heart was pumping loudly, shortening my breathing, and making it difficult for me to focus. I just wanted to know what was going on, but there was no way I could tap into an unfulfilled bond to see what had scared Y/N so badly.

A sharp pang in my stomach had me abruptly turning the impala around and returning to the direction we had left behind two weeks before, much to the boys’ surprise. I made sure to ignore their open mouths and raised eyebrows, but I should know better than to hope that they’d quietly accept this change of plans.

“Where are we going?” Dean asked, while Sam rubbed off the sleep from his face.

“Back to Bobby’s,” I barked, and I knew that my tone didn’t allow for any follow-up questions. Still, Dean couldn’t help himself. He had been (sometimes not so) subtly teasing me about the girl, making jokes about how I probably wouldn’t even be able to handle the needs of a young body, anything to get a reaction from me.

“Forgot something there?” I knew what he was implying, and even though it couldn’t be further from the truth, I couldn’t find it in myself to explain just yet. Terror made my heartbeat clear and quick on my ears, and I hated it. It wasn’t a feeling that was familiar, but considering it truly belonged to someone else, it was just beyond irritating.

“Something like that.”

Stepping on the pedal as I was once again flooded with a panic that didn’t belong to me, I found myself praying I’d be able to make it there in time to stop whatever the hell was going on. To whom I was praying, I didn’t know, just as I couldn’t explain why the hell I cared.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I squeezed my knees tighter to my body, trying to make myself smaller while attempting to control my breathing at the same time. It wasn’t easy, especially since my heartbeat was all over the place.

At least the screaming has subdued. Although that did little to appease my concern, it did help in my task of hiding in this safe room inside the empty basement. Just before Bobby managed to shove me in here, the last thing he told me was to keep quiet and still until someone came to get me, but now that his voice had been gone for a while and he still hadn’t reappeared, I doubted anyone would come looking for me.

Still, I couldn’t find it in myself to uncurl my body from this somewhat calm-inducing position and actually step out of the room to go explore the house. Not when I could still remember so clearly what I found when my dad was murdered. And I couldn’t see the same done with Bobby. I just couldn’t. Not when that meant that I was completely alone, with no one to worry about me in this entire world.

Tears rose, prompting me to blink them away, scared that once I allowed myself to grieve, I wouldn’t be able to stop. This wasn’t the time or the place. My life could very well still be in danger. And I couldn’t let Bobby’s… disappearance be for nothing. No. He put himself at risk for me, I’d abide by his wishes.

First things first, I’d stay right here, not moving a muscle. If nothing came to find me, then I’d slowly make my way out of this hiding spot… once I deemed it was safe enough to do so. 

But for now, there wasn’t much I could do, other than focus on my breathing and keep quiet. Real quiet. And watch time slowly go by. Praying that if something did come to find me, it would come in with a friendly face.

John’s P.O.V.

“Shit.” It was all I said as I barely managed to park the car right outside Bobby’s place before leaping out of it. It was pretty obvious something had happened over here, if not by the fact that the front door was slammed open, at least by the tracks of something that had been dragged over the front lawn, looking too much like a body not to make every single nerve end on my body stand to attention again.

At least I was feeling something again, and even if it was from my own system and not hers, I considered it a good sign. Halfway through the drive the panic that had been steadily building had completely disappeared, and I almost believed, if only for a second, something had happened to her - only to realize that if someone had killed my mate, I would have definitely known.

I still didn’t want to think about her as being my mate, but the existence of this connection between us was undeniable, especially as I bursted into the house, gun in my hand, to find blood fucking everywhere. The feelings of worry skyrocketed - I wanted to attribute them to her, but I knew they were mine. Just what the fuck had happened here and where the fuck was her?

I could hear the boys walking around the house behind me. I couldn’t give them any attention. My mind was occupied with her and only her, needing to know that she was safe, almost desperate to know where the heck she was. 

Bobby was a smart man. If he had noticed even an inkling of something going South, he’d have found a way to protect her. I just had to figure out what it was. Gun still in hand, although it was pretty clear that whatever it was that had been here had left long ago, I encircled the sofa and started to make my way down to the basement, remembering a conversation I’d had with Bobby one of the many times I came to visit.

“There’s an old closet in the back of the room downstairs,” he’d said. “It’d make for a good panic room, if I ever ended up having something I needed to keep safe.” Despite never having seen it, it wasn’t too hard to find it once I managed to turn on the lights. It really was made to be imperceptible for someone who wasn’t looking for it, but since that wasn’t my case,  the difference in the wood texture of the walls sorely jumped out to my eyes, and I reached out to curve the barely existent nail of my thumb on the indentation until I was able to pull it open. 

And there she was.

She was asleep, head resting on her knees, tucked away into the corner of the closet-sized room. A sigh of relief fell out of my mouth before I could reel it in, my heart clenching at the adorable sight before I snapped myself out of it. Fuck, no. This wasn’t any sentimental mate shit. This was me, worried about another living human being - one that had been placed under my friend’s care after having lost her entire family. That was all there was to it.

Still, I was careful when I reached out to put a hand on top of her, hoping it would suffice to pull her from her slumber. What I wasn’t expecting, however, was for that fucking connection to call out at the feeling of her skin under my calloused fingers, her eyes snapping open in shock and her mouth opening in clear intent to scream her lungs out.

“Shhhh… It’s just me. Shut the fuck up,” I groaned, one hand clasped over her mouth as I pulled her up with me and drag us out of the panic room. From the corner of my eye, I could see the boys had caught on to what had happened, and were clearly relieved to see her safe, despite the lack of indication as to where Bobby could be. 

After the initial shock, she finally stopped mumbling against my palm and took a deep breath, probably taking in the reality of the situation. It was just us. No immediate danger around.

I don’t think she even noticed when I slipped out from behind her, finally uncovering her mouth so I could try to understand what the hell had happened around here. The lack of contact between our skin, however, was sorely felt by my alpha genes, that begged me to look for her softness again, keep it close to me.

“Bobby?” Just that question made it clear we wouldn’t be getting much answers from her. Before I could say anything, Dean shook his head with an apologetic smile, and despite her falling down on a couch nearby, much to my surprise, she didn’t start crying or screaming again. If anything, she took the news (or lack of them) with quiet resignation, something that intrigued me to no end.

She’d lost everything, but instead of behaving like some poor little omega, she just accepted that this was her life now. 

“Didn’t you hear anything?” I finally asked, and had to suppress a smug grin when her eyes immediately snapped up to meet mine, easily abandoning Dean’s gaze. 

“Screams. But I couldn’t make out what was being said, it just seemed…” She hesitated then, like she needed to gather some strength to keep talking about it, but still, she pushed through. “It just seemed like they were torturing him, you know? It didn’t last long, but it was…”

She didn’t need to say it, it was easy to understand. Haunting. Devastating. I can’t imagine how it must have been like to be stuck in that spot, desperately wanting to help - because I knew it had been the case, I could feel it through our… bond, as nonexistent as it was - and being absolutely terrified about what could be waiting on the other side.

I had the overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around her, feel her body against mine again and comfort her mind with my presence. It was so strong, in fact, that I had to bury my fingernails in my palms in order to stop myself from doing that, but since the urge remained, I distracted my animalistic side with some practical tasks that needed to be dealt with.

“Okay, let’s get the hell out of here. Sam, did you pack her stuff?” Knowing my youngest had gone up to the second floor and was easily the most prepared out of all of us, it didn’t surprise me when he answered by simply holding up a duffel in his hands. “Alright, then let’s hit the road.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Taken by surprise and ripped from my admittedly dark thoughts, I whipped around to stare at the older man who looked like this was just another ordinary day, like he hadn’t just very clearly tried to alter the course of my existence. But instead of providing me with any sort of explanation, he just reached out for my arm and pulled me from the couch, dragging me all the way to the main floor of the house and out of it before I was able to speak again.

“Stop! Hold on!” I managed to release my wrist from his grip, but I don’t think he would have even realized I was speaking if it weren’t from the sudden lack of contact between our bodies.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The omega in me wanted to recoil at the sight of her alpha looking at us with such anger, but he wasn’t our alpha. And he definitely had no right to come here and take control of my life like I had no say in the matter whatsoever.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I shot back, and his mouth hung open in surprise. It almost made me feel smug about myself, knowing I had the power to shock the great John Winchester, who thought he was too good to become someone’s mate, but I was too angry to even acknowledge that. “You can’t just come in here and take me away, that’s not how it works.”

“I’m trying to keep you safe.” From the little I knew of him, considering our limited encounters and the stories Bobby and other hunters had told me about, I knew he was a man of few words, but even my irate state of mind could identify the warning bells on the way he uttered that simple sentence, paired with the sight of the veins on his forearms as he clenched his hands into fists.

Still, I pressed on.

“Who gave you that responsibility? Bobby was my godfather, my father trusted him, I know next to nothing about you. In fact, I want to keep knowing next to nothing about you. Just the same as you want when it comes to me, I’m certain.”

Waves of anger radiated from him, and even Sam and Dean seemed tense from a distance, where they stood by the car, watching our altercation. Guess seeing their dad this furious wasn’t as usual as I figured it would be, considering the Alpha inside of him.

“Why is it so hard for you to just obey? Get inside the car. I’m not gonna ask you again.” Of course, he could have made me obey, if he wanted to. One order from their alpha and any omega would fall to their knees, the genetic pull too strong to ignore. But he didn’t use his alpha voice, he used his John voice, and if at first that surprised me, believing it to be from a place of respect, the realization that it was most likely because he didn’t want to recognize that our bond even existed only filled me with even more anger.

“I am not getting in that car with you.” I braced myself for what he could do, trying to harden my soul so it wouldn’t hurt to see him leave - that’s what I wanted, right? - while also preparing to fight if he finally relented and took advantage of his manipulation power, but there was just no way I could anticipate him shortening the distance between us and easily throwing me over his shoulder like I was nothing more than a sack of potatoes. 

John’s P.O.V.

Fucking stupid ‘mega. Is she actively trying to get herself killed? Everyone around her has died in the last few months, what makes her think she can survive on her own? Why the fuck couldn’t she just be a good fucking girl and obey me? I hated that I had to resort to this, I hated having to touch her again, and especially have her over my shoulder, where I could feel the smell of her hair as it fighted against the wind and she tried to punch my back.

I grunted as I deposited her on the copilot seat, immediately locking the door so she wouldn’t be able to run away. The boys took their places in the backseat while I made my way to the driver’s seat, and although Dean didn’t look all that happy to be confined back there, it couldn’t come close to the burning expression with which she regarded me.

“Don’t you look at me like that,” I growled. “You’re coming and that’s final.”

“You don’t want me! Why are you taking me with you?” She was nearly yelling by then, arms waving around like a lunatic, and I had to to grind my teeth together so I wouldn’t reach out and…

I don’t know what I wanted to do, to be honest. I just knew that my head was pounding and I could still fill the weight of her body over my shoulder, like her skin had burned the fabric of my shirt and imprinted the shape of her body on my soul.

“You must be really fucking stupid if you think I’m gonna leave you out there, all alone.” That, thank the lord, was enough to shut her up, but I figured out pretty soon that she didn’t need to open her mouth to find new ways to annoy me.

“Driver picks the music,” I warned, lightly slapping her hand when she reached for the radio, but the infuriating little thing only slapped mine back and changed the station anyway.

“Maybe on a road trip. If you don’t want this to be recognized as a kidnapping, it’s the least you can do.” God, she was infuriating. I clenched my hands on the wheel, mulling the words I wanted to say over my head and I still wasn’t able to stop the threat from spilling.

“I swear to God, I’m not above pulling over and spanking you until you’re not able to walk for a whole week.” The second her eyes met mine, I knew trouble was coming my way, and still I was unprepared when the next words fell from her lips.

“And you think that’s punishment?” I couldn’t help it, the question provoked me into thoughts I definitely did not want to be having about her, my ears burning up as I realized that she could very easily read my reactions to figure out what was going on through my head - especially since my eyes automatically trailed over her body.

“You know what? I changed my mind. Take me wherever you’d like.” And with that, she threw one leg over the other, a dangerous smile taking over her face. “I think you and I are gonna have a lot of fun together, John Winchester.”

[catxsnow]

MY MISTAKES J.C.

Request: Could I request a oneshot for John Constantine with a protege/child figure where they get hurt during one of the many shenanigans they've gotten up to? Reader is in their middle to late teens. Either gender neutral or female reade. Please and thank you! P.s I love ur writings.

Warning: canon-violence, swears

A/N: Did - Did I just post a fic in the middle of the day?? Yes. Yes I did. You know why? Because I’m posting a SECOND one tonight to make up for last night :) 

Alright look, I’m not gonna start writing for Constantine but this was cute so I couldn’t say no. 

Word Count: 2k

John Constantine was insane.

You had been saying it since the start of your adventures with him and the more that you were with him, the more you kept saying it. He was a crazy old fool who kept putting himself in situations what always came back to bite him in the ass.

When Zatanna dropped you off at his front door, he had no desire to take care of you. What the hell would he want with some saucy teen that would only get in his way and stop him from doing what he enjoyed most - liquor and sex. Unfortunately, he couldn't exactly say no to Zatanna, and when he saw just how powerful you were, he didn't have much of a choice.

You were young, and if that power within you wasn't controlled early, god knows what would happen. Constantine had fucked up a lot in his life, but maybe helping you was something that would make up for some of it.

So, he taught you everything that he knew - at least the not so dark aspects of it. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin the rest of your life with tainted magic that would haunt you forever. Life with you as his side wasn't all bad. He had someone to watch his back, keep him company, even boost his mood when he was down.

John faced a lot of hardships with you. A lot of the time he had no idea what the hell do to with you - comfort you, give you advice  - he wasn't good at any of that. He had to help you get through your first heartbreak, the doubt within yourself, hell he even struggled with looking you in the eyes and telling you everything was going to be okay.

He lied a lot.

You liked to consider John as more than just a mentor to you - he was your best friend. Even though there was a considerable age gap between the two of you, you were on the same level of humor and wit. A lot of the time you felt as if you were meant to be at his side. Zatanna finding you was pure accident, but being under John's protection almost seemed too good to be true.

Sure, he was fucked up in almost every way possible. He pissed everybody off, drank too much, his past was horrifying. Somehow, none of it scared you off, and in some ways, you made John a better person. To be responsible for just a kid - a 'I'm only a year and a half away from being an adult go fuck yourself' - made him get his act together.

Between making fun of his clothes, the way he talked, even his rudimentary way of living, the bond you formed was unbreakable. You would never admit it, but you looked to him as a parental figure. A fucked up parent who didn't ask to be or know what he was doing, but a parent nonetheless.

Your little 'missions' would usually leave some scrapes and bruises - most times blood of whatever victim you were killing off. For the most part, the most severe pain you had to put up with was John's hangover's. He had a lot of those. After being in this line of work for only a few years, you couldn't blame him.

Then there was the time that it was more than just a cut that could be magically healed. It was supposed to be an easy exorcism. You and John had done dozens of those which meant you went in there confident. Your guard was down and you weren't prepared for things to go sideways.

Things went bad, really bad.

John was left to make the tough call of saving the little girl that had been possessed, or saving you. He couldn't do both, he wished he could do both. However, he knew if he had saved you and not the innocent kid, you'd rip his head off. So, he had to bite the bullet and watch as you fell to the ground screaming and he saved the girl.

Sitting in this hospital with you unconscious on the bed, wires hooked up to you that weren't really doing anything against the magic coursing through you, he wished he made the other choice. Throughout all his years he had sacrificed lives to save his own skin, why did he start now with saving you?

"Shoulda never let Z to convince me to take you," John scoffed to himself. He wasn't strong enough to heal you, not by himself. His energy was already drained from taking care of the demon from earlier, he wasn't sure if he could do any magic at that point. "Can't tell if it was me or you that was the dumb one, huh?"

He felt like a fool talking to you. Obviously you couldn't hear a word he was saying, but part of him was just hoping you did. Maybe it brought him comfort, maybe he was just an old coot who didn't know how to accept this worry running through him. Either way, grabbing onto your cold hand sent chills up his spine.

"I'm sorry," John's eyes sealed shut. His fists gripped the edge of your bed as he tried to keep himself level headed. The demon that did this to you faced a fate worth than death for what it did. "I shouldn't have dragged you along, you deserve a better life. Not one with me leading you. I've made a fuck ton o' mistakes and I guess now you're one of 'em."

When his eyes peeled back open, a few stray tears slipped down his cheeks. John had faced a lot of evil in his life, he was so used to death and destruction that it no longer fazed him. Guess you made a little weak spot in his heart. For the first time in a long time, John felt grief for someone who wasn't even dead yet. He was scared.

"Never thought I'd see the day that John Constantine cries over someone." John looked up in the reflection of the window. He hastily wiped away his wet cheeks and scrambled up to his feet to see his visitor. Zatanna looked between him and you. "How are they?" Concern filled her voice.

"Needs help," John stared down at you. Zatanna stood on the opposite side of the bed. She placed her hand over yours, the unfamiliar lack of power caught her off guard. "Your help, I'm too drained to do any magic, at least by myself. I can't let them suffer like this, not for my mistakes."

"I know, John," Zatanna assured. Constantine wasn't sure how she knew that the two of you had gotten in trouble or exactly which hospital you were in. At that moment, he didn't care. He was more happy to see her than he ever had in his entire life. Zatanna could save you, if there was anyone out there that could, it was her.

"Let's get to work."

><

"I'm fine John, would you fuck off?"

John never thought he'd see the day where he was happy to hear you lip him off. In all your time together the second that you retorted any snide comment towards him, he would scowl. Now, he couldn't hold back a smile. He had been worried about you, more worried than he was for anyone.

Zatanna was the one to really save you. She had overworked herself to bring you back to the land of the living. It was worth it, she saw a lot of greatness within you. You rubbed off on John, he was becoming a different man than she knew a lot of her life. He was better with you at his side. Zatanna feared what he would become if he lost you - especially when it was his fault.

When you finally made it back home, John hovered over you like a mother bear. He didn't let you leave the house and he certainly didn't allow you to join him for any missions until you were 100% again. It was beyond frustrating for you, but you had to admit you were glad to see that someone cared about you this much.

You were bed ridden for a few days. Too weak to get up unless necessary but strong enough to get yourself out of the damned hospital. John became your 'bitch boy' for those days and you made sure to take well good advantage of it. By the time that you were up and walking, you had gotten annoyed of his hovering.

"'scuse me for being worried," John rolled his eyes. "Don't happen to often you know, you should be considered lucky."

"Lucky?" You scoffed. You hadn't tested your magic yet, your whole body still felt weak and you weren't about to put yourself back into a comma just to see if you could light John's cigarette with the snap of your fingers. "Anything involving you is far from lucky. I should be considered dead is what I should be."

He pulled a smoke out of his pocket, he forgot how peaceful it was without your comebacks. You narrowed your eyes as he lit it up and took a drag. Constantine knew that you hated when he smoked inside and yet he continuously did it anyways.

So, to test out how strong you were getting, you tried to disintegrate his cigarette. Your eyes narrowed with concentration and somehow, it had worked. John cried out as his cigarette suddenly burst into flames and fell to dust on the floor. You felt fatigued by the small spell, but at least you were getting back to normal.

Constantine glared at you. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out another one. Without breaking eye contact, he lit it up and took another breath of the nicotine.

"Twat," you muttered. The petty side of him was something that would never go away - no matter how close to death either of you were. It was who he was. John missed seeing your smiling face in the few days that you were out. He never realized the comfort that it brought him.

Without another word, you sluggishly walked back to your bedroom. You needed rest, as much as you tried to deny it. Zatanna had done a good job of fixing you up but you still had a long way to go. It was going to take time, but you knew damn well that John was going to be at your side through it all -whether you wanted him to be or not.

"Berk!" Constantine yelled after you. A smile toyed at his lips. As much as you did fight and bicker with him, he couldn't imagine what his life would be like without you in it now. Never in his life did he imagine he'd be some sort of father figure, with you... he enjoyed it. He was proud of you.

The thought of losing you to some stupid mistake that he made nearly destroyed him. He took you in to make his wrongs right and he would have lost all of that alongside with you. But, it was more than that. Constantine cared for you, losing you meant he would be losing a piece of himself.

There was already so much of him tainted by the evil of the world, he couldn't bare the thought of losing the little good part of his soul. As much as he hated to admit it, John needed you far more than you ever needed him.

[yandere-daze]

25. "Why won't you talk to me anymore?" For manipulative Yandere Bruno. Peace! Take care of yourself!

Of course! This is my first time writing yandere bruno so I hope I got it right^^  This is what I´ve been working on the last few days and it really got kind of long.

Enjoy!!

25. "Why won't you talk to me anymore?"

Cut for length!

Yandere! Bruno with prompt 25

It was a tranquil and warm evening in Naples, the sun slowly setting and the bustle of the city quieting down for the day. You were sitting in the living room, listening to the radio while waiting for your husband. Your husband´s name was Bruno Bucciarati and he was a very gentle and comforting person that cared about you a whole lot. You two have been living together for a few months now, you realize as you gaze down at the pretty golden ring on your finger. A testament to your love and happiness. Your husband was currently in the kitchen and cooking dinner for the both of you. You asked to help him with the preparations, not wanting him to have to do all the work, but he quickly declined and insisted for you to rest and relax a bit. Of course, you didn´t really mind, you could use the break, after all your head has been hurting the whole day already. The pounding, aching feeling in your head has been plaguing you more than a few times recently and you were never really able to ignore the pain, so you often took painkillers to alleviate the problem. You had been feeling like this for a long time now, ever since that one fateful day.

It was a few months ago, when you woke up to a world of white consuming you. You felt dazzled and confused as you looked around, your surroundings barely registering in your mind. Looking down, you noticed you were laying on a bed. Noticing an itching feeling on your arms, you examined your own body to find that you were wearing some kind of white gown and to your horror, the entirety of your arms where bandaged up, as well as your legs. Where you in a hospital? It looked like that was the case, but what happened to you? Why were you bandaged up like this? And who was the man sitting at the side of your bed?

This man had short black hair, neatly cut into a bob as well as very striking blue eyes. He was wearing an elegant white suit with some black dots here and there. What you found a bit strange were the extraordinary number of zippers on his suit that seemingly served no purpose at all. But you weren´t really one to judge, the suit did look good on him, you couldn´t deny that. More important than this man´s appearance though was the reason he was here next to you. You have never seen this strange man in your entire life, so what was he doing here?

Seemingly hearing you shift around in your bed, the man raised his head and smiled a charming smile at you. He looked relieved; you noticed the tension on his shoulders slowly vanishing at the fact that you were awake.

“Ah y/n, I´m so happy you woke up! I was so worried about you, you´ve been in a coma for the last 5 days! I was so scared that you might not wake up again.”, the stranger said as he gently grasped your hand in glee. His touch so soft, it was as if he thought you were extremely fragile, as if a simple touch could break you. Whoever this was, he seemed very concerned about you but you just didn´t remember him at all. Who was this man?

“Uhm thank you very much for your concern but sir, I don´t mean to be rude but…. Who are you? Do we know each other?”, you just had to know.

The man in front of you almost looks a bit offended for a second before a look of confusion crosses his face, his eyebrows furrowing as he seemingly thought something over. There was a short pause before his face lit up again, a gentle smile on his face as he directed his attention on you again.

“Do you not remember me? My name is Bruno Bucciarati. Do you know how you got to this hospital?”

“No I´m afraid I don´t…Bruno. In fact I don´t remember anything at all. All I can recall is my name and my age. What happened to me? And how do we know each other?”. You were so confused. Try as you might, you couldn´t remember anything that lead up to this situation. It´s as if everything was suddenly gone.

“That´s a shame..”, the man now known to you as Bruno contemplated before continuing. “I don´t mean to overwhelm you, but I am in fact your husband. We´ve been married for quite some time now. Look, this is the symbol of our bond together.”, he said while smiling.

He raised his right hand to show you a beautiful gold ring on his ring finger. Looking down at your own hand, you find the very same ring decorating your own finger. So this was true then? You were happily married but couldn´t remember anything? You felt exhausted, all this new information was too much for you.

“Is this really true? Why can´t I remember anything at all? I´m so sorry Bruno, this must be very upsetting for you. Me not even being able to remember my own wedding.” You felt genuinely bad for him. You felt that he truly loved you, you could just tell from his gaze that was directed to you. He must have done so much for you, how could you just forget everything? All of your shared time together?

Bruno was seemingly able to understand your train of thought, because he immediately tried to cheer you up.

“Don´t be sad amore mio. You lost your memories in an accident; it was not your fault at all so don´t beat yourself up over it. I don´t ever want to see you sad, you hear me? It´s not the end of the world that you can´t remember, we can just make new memories together! I´m sure everything will be okay. We can even have a second wedding once you have adjusted if you want that.”

He then leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against your palm as you felt a fluttering feeling inside of you. He truly must care about you so much! You couldn´t believe how lucky you were to have him.

Looking up, your husband spoke up once again.

“As far as I know, the doctor said you were free to go as soon as you wake up. Do you want to leave the hospital together now? I can show you our shared home if you would let me.”

couldn´t deny that you wanted to finally leave behind these suffocating white walls around you. You also were a bit excited to see your new- uhhhh old home.

 You were kind of surprised to see how well decorated your shared home seemed to be. Everything looks amazing in your opinion! You obviously seemed to have a hand in decorating the place, it perfectly fit your tastes!

You two then came to a stop in front of a door, you almost bumping into Bruno. From what you could tell, this seemed to be the last room in the house, probably the bedroom.

Your husband looks back at you and gently urges you to open the door yourself, you should be the first one to enter the room. You carefully press down the door handle and open the door. What greets you blows your mind. You thought the other rooms looked amazing, but this was even better!

In the middle of the room was a huge double bed, tons of pillows piled on top, it had to be super comfortable! You were very tempted to just jump on top of it and go to sleep, the events of the day really tired you out. You heard a light chuckle from your right, looking over you saw that Bruno had entered the room as well and looked vaguely amused at your tired form.

“Feeling sleepy, cara/o? We can go to bed if you like, this day must have been very exhausting for you. But don´t worry, I´m sure you will feel right at home in no time!”

And with that, you two went to bed together, you falling asleep almost instantly despite the foreign situation.

After settling in, Bruno spends a lot of time talking about your relationship and how you two got together. You two met by pure coincidence at a coffee shop and had to sit down at the same table because there were no empty ones left. You then made pleasant conversation and one thing led to another, meeting each other more and more and eventually falling in love. Though Bruno absolutely insists that it was love at first sight for him. That he saw you and immediately felt a spark, he knew you were the one for him. He´s so glad to have you with him now! You´re just happy to know that you´ve managed to find a good match for yourself, someone that cares for you so much and would do anything for your happiness.

It´s been a few months now since you last saw the hospital, but your mental state hasn´t gotten any better. You still can´t remember anything from before you met Bruno in the patient room and it´s infuriating beyond belief. Sure you felt happy and comfortable with him, but you wanted to know so much more! But no matter how much you tried, your mind was as foggy as ever. Asking Bruno for insight on your past rarely did any good.

“Don´t strain yourself too much, darling. It´s okay if you don´t remember, we can always make new memories!”

Of course you want to make new memories with him but you also want to remember! It makes you a bit uncomfortable how ready your husband was to dismiss your past.

He was more than happy to talk about your relationship and how happy you both have always been but when you ask about your friends and your job? He immediately changes the topic as soon as it comes up.

“Are you not happy with me y/n? Am I not enough for you? I give you all the love I have to offer and that´s not enough? Those people weren´t good for you, you shouldn´t need to remember all of these painful memories!”

You really don´t know what to think anymore. Bruno is so nice and sweet to you, always looking out for you and making sure you´re comfortable but something doesn´t feel right.

Holding his hand doesn´t feel right.

Being in his arms doesn´t feel right.

Kissing him doesn´t feel right.

But whenever you do, you can´t help but see something flash in front of your eyes. A flickering image, gone before you can fully grasp it. But in your mind, you can see a different person, you´re sure of it. But all you can see is red.

Red eyes staring into yours.

Red red red red.

Dripping red.

Drips of red, forming a pool in front of your feet.

Someone laying on the ground.

Black and white clothes coated in crimson.

And then a flash of pure white.

A person in white, stained in red, walking towards you.

You feel a sudden surge of panic, an urge to run fills your entire being.

Panic.

Red traffic lights.

Red car.

Even more red.

Red red red.

Everything is red again.

And then piercing blue staring right at you.

You´re staring into Bruno´s eyes and the warm embrace that usually calmed you now set you on edge.

  Back then, you felt like you were on the verge of remembering something very important. But you weren´t exactly sure what you were meant to remember, you still weren´t. You wondered why you recalled this situation now of all times. The radio blared on in the background as you waited for Bruno to finish dinner.

“We are here to report the death of a man. His body was discovered just days ago, though doctors believe him to have been dead for some months now, judging from the state the body is in. The police are currently looking for any relatives or friends who might be able to identify…”

You notice that your husband had entered the living room as the radio went silent. You turn your head to see him holding a remote, as well as balancing the food in his other hand.

“Dinner is ready darling. I decided to turn off the radio so we can properly concentrate on our conversation. The noise is always so distracting from the important things.”, a gentle smile on his face as he puts down the food.

“You didn´t need to make my favorite, Bruno.”, you softly said.

“No, I insist. It´s only natural for me to do. I love you so much, why wouldn´t I cook your favorite dish for you? You´ve been so stressed and on edge lately, I decided this was the least I could do. You´re so important to me after all.”

Bruno poured wine for the both of you and then sat down himself. You two made pleasant conversation while enjoying the food he made. You then decided to tell him what´s been on your mind lately, the strange things you´ve been seeing, all the red. He showed so much concern for you so of course you were going to tell him!

He purses his lips, his brows furrowing as he thinks for a bit before deciding to finally answer.

“Darling are you sure you´re okay? That sounds very serious. Have you been taking the pills I bought for you? Maybe you should take some more, just in case. You´ve been talking about some very strange memories the past few days. I´m concerned, y/n”.

Yes, Bruno had been giving you daily pills for as long as you can remember. He said they were good to relieve the stress and anxiety you had felt after the accident, so you always took them. And he seemed to be right with that! Whenever you forgot to take the pills, you would get a pounding headache, feeling as if your brain was about to explode. You also sometimes saw these strange things, just like you did today. It seemed like you forgot to take your pills once again. You didn´t think it was too bad though, they always made you feel a bit loopy, feeling as if a heavy fog clouded your mind. You felt relaxed but also very hazy. You weren´t sure if you liked the feeling, you always felt a bit clearer when you didn´t take them.

So when Bruno got up to bring them to you, you decided to stop him and told him that you didn´t want to take them anymore.

He stopped dead in tracks, shoulders slightly tensing before turning around to face you. He was frowning, very apparently not liking the idea.

“Darling, you need to take these pills, they are important for you.”, he told you with a strained smile.

But you didn´t want to, so you kept declining.

He grew almost desperate at your continued refusal to take the pills, looking very panicked as his eyes widened and he started to wildly wave his hands around as he tried to convince you.

“Y/n come on, don´t be silly now. You just don´t know any better. I don´t think that´s the right decision for you to take. I know what´s best for you! Please don´t ruin this. You´ll thank me later on. I love you so much amore, so your health is my top priority! Just trust your husband!”

Something about his insistence didn´t sit right with you but you didn´t want to anger him further. For some reason you knew that you should never make Bruno angry, so you relented in the end.

As Bruno visibly relaxed and got up to bring your pills, you decided to keep eating your food while pondering over what just happened.

Hahh, eating risotto always made you feel at home for some reason.

  You woke up to an empty bed, your husband must have left for work already so you were on your own for now. You shifted your head to look at your nightstand, your daily pills already taken out of the box, ready for you to take. Come to think of it, this was how it always had been. You have never even seen the bottle the pills came in, Bruno always prepared everything for you.

For some reason, this new discovery gave you a feeling of anxiety. But why? He was your husband, why should he ever do something to harm you?

Still wanting to reassure yourself that everything was okay, you headed to the bathroom and looked for the medicine cabinet. It was supposed to be here somewhere. Looking around for a bit, you finally found the right bottle, you of course being able to recognize the size and the form of the pills you took daily by now. Carefully taking it out of the cabinet, you tried to read the label but were immediately confused by all of the complicated words written on it, so you just decided to look up the name on the front of it.

You were shocked when you looked them up and saw that these pills in particular were very infamous for their bad side effects, which caused them to not get sold anymore. These side effects included sleepiness, decreased concentration and extreme forgetfulness.

Extreme…forgetfulness?

You could swear you were hearing alarm bells ringing in your head. This couldn´t be. Was your own husband actively trying to repress your memories?! Does he not want you to remember something? But why? What reason could he possibly have? While you were lost in thought, you noticed he must have accidentally left the radio on, because it was blaring in the background again.

“Dead man now finally identified by coworkers as one Risotto Nero. The young man..”

You didn´t hear anything else anymore. Risotto Nero? Why was that name so familiar to you?

And then it happened.  

You felt an intense headache, your brain feeling like it might burst out any moment. And then… you remembered.

Risotto Nero, your former boyfriend. You were super happy together and were even planning to get married once his work calmed down a bit. He was not usually a very expressive person but with you, he felt comfortable. He felt like he was finally understood, like he could be at peace.

And then you met him.

Well you didn´t really MEET him. You just bumped into him while walking on the sidewalk, you quickly apologizing and then moving on with your life quickly forgetting about the man.

But it wasn´t the same for him, oh no. When he bumped into you back then and saw your beautiful face as well as heard your wonderful voice, he was lovestruck. This couldn´t be a coincidence, fate had led you two together! You were meant to be together! But you didn´t see him. No matter how hard he tried to contact you again in a crowd, you didn´t recognize him. It couldn´t be. There must have been a reason. And he soon found his reason. This monstrosity of a man, Risotto Nero held you captive. He was trying to separate you two out of jealousy. If he wasn´t there, you two could finally be happy together! So he knew he had to do something. And that he did.

You can now remember that day clearly. You came home from grocery shopping when you saw it. The living room was a mess, broken vases, toppled over furniture, definitely signs of a fight. And in the middle of it laid your boyfriend Risotto. A large pool of blood flowed out of his wounds as he laid there motionless. Dead.

You couldn´t believe this was happening. You ran over to his body and quickly felt the tears gathering in your eyes as you let out a loud sob.

You then felt a touch on your back and immediately tensed up. No one else was supposed to be here, so who was this? Did the attacker come back to kill you as well??

You then felt the strangers hand shift, moving towards your face and then gently wiping away the tears that have gathered in your eyes. Moving your head to at least see the bastard that killed Risotto, you were surprised to see someone vaguely familiar. You didn´t think this was someone you personally knew but you could never forget someone with a fashion sense as unique as this. The white suit, that was now bathed in red, with the zippers, it was all so familiar yet you couldn´t place where you had seen this before. As you continued to ponder over this, the man then spoke up.

“Shh darling, please don´t cry. It hurts me to see you like this. You should be smiling! After all this time we can finally be together! I´ve been waiting so long to have you in my arms and now my wish has finally come true.”, he exclaimed while tightly wrapping his arms around your shaking form.

“You….you bastard! What did you do to Risotto?! Why did you kill him! How could you do this?! What the hell are you even talking about? Now we can finally be together? How could you possibly think I would want to have anything to do with you after this?! You monster!”, you screamed out while pounding your fists against his chest, wriggling around as much as you could. He couldn´t be serious, did he really think you would forgive him and want to be with him after he killed your boyfriend in cold blood?

“Please don´t be like that darling, everything is going to be okay. I did this for us! I love you way more than anyone ever could! Just wait until I show you the house I renovated just for you, you´re going to love it!”

This man was definitely not sane and you desperately needed to get away this instant. Searching your brain for any escape plan that you could come up with, you had an idea. It was risky and most likely not going to work but you needed to try anything you could while you still had the chance. Who knew what would happen to you once you were brought to this house.

So summoning all of your courage, you raised your leg and kicked the man where the sun don´t shine and decided to make a run for it as he kneeled down in pain. This was your only chance to get away from him, you had to make it count. As you ran along the streets of Naples, you thought over what you could do to possibly escape this creep. You didn´t think going to the police would do you any good so what were you supposed to do? You thought possibly the best course of action would be to try and leave the country but would you even be able to accomplish that?

You were once again pulled out of your thoughts as you heard loud footsteps behind you. Turning your head, you were able to see that the man had now almost caught up with you. Shit shit shit what were you going to do now? He was so close to getting you!

“Amore please don´t run! This is for your best, trust me! You will be so much happier with me!”, the deluded man shouted after you. This was crazy, absolutely crazy. Watching him some more, you suddenly saw his eyes dramatically widening, his mouth forming an “o” as he then called out to you.

“No wait! Stop!!”

Stop? Pftt he wished that you-

CRASH

All you saw was red once again.

The red traffic light and the red car that hit you were all you could see before passing out and everything fading to black.

 And this was the truth of what truly happened to you. Looking at the bottle of pills in your hand, it was still so hard to believe. So all this time, Bruno has just been manipulating you? He gave you these pills to prevent you from remembering what happened and played the role of a loving husband when he killed your boyfriend in cold blood. You felt sick to your stomach and your legs were shaking. You had to get away from here. You had to leave this country. You had to leave now while you were still alone, you still had a chance you-

Cliiick

You heard the sound of the front door opening.

Bruno was home.

You tried to keep your cool when he entered the room and asked about your day. If you got heated now, everything would only get worse. You wanted him to be blissfully unaware that you recalled your memories now, that the whole gig was up. Who knew what he would do when he didn´t need to pretend anymore? You had to repress a shudder at the thought.

“Y/n? Is everything okay? You´re being awfully quiet. Did something happen?”, he inquired now, looking vaguely concerned, his brows furrowing in worry.

You didn´t know what to say. Who knows what would happen if you told him the truth? That was an absolute no-go as far as you were concerned. But you also didn´t think you could get away with lying, you´ve come to notice that Bruno is very sharp with these kinds of things. So not knowing what to do, you just kept quiet.

That must have been the wrong choice because he looked a bit angry now.

“What happened y/n? Tell me. I promise I won´t be mad! Why won´t you talk to me anymore?”

More deafening silence.

Okay he DEFINITELY looked angry now. His shoulders tensing as he bit his lip, probably trying to prevent himself from raising his voice too much.

“Amore please talk with me! I love you so much you have no idea, but I´m slowly losing my patience. Stop being so difficult.”

You couldn´t help but kind of snap at that comment. You were being difficult? Well look who´s talking! He freaking killed your boyfriend and basically kidnapped you! He played with your memories and manipulated your feelings! He was trying to make you fall in love with him, to imprison you in this house and never let you go! He was sickening!

So as you were standing there, trying to stop your ragged breathing, you felt pure terror in your stomach as you saw Bruno´s facial expression change from an angry one to one full of shock. Wait shit. Did you really just say that out loud? Why now of all times? Why did the universe hate you so much?

“What…how…you remember? But how could that have happened? I guess it doesn´t matter now. Y/n I love you! I killed him for us! He could never love you like I do, he doesn´t deserve you! But you weren’t able to see that, he blinded you. So of course I had to get rid of him! You looked so scared back then, it broke my heart! When I saw you get hit by that car, I almost lost my mind. I was so scared you wouldn´t make it so when I saw you wake up and not remember anything, I knew this was my chance. It was fated to be! So I´m sorry for not being upfront with you about this but I´m sure we will be able to work it out.”

“Work this out? You want to work this out? Hell no! I´m leaving! I don´t want to stay here for even a second longer!, you screamed out in anger as you tried to get up.

Keyword: Tried

You felt an absolute numbness in your legs and you weren´t able to move them at all. Looking down in surprise, you were terrified to see them completely missing from your body! How could this happen? What is going on? No no no no! You felt the tears streaming down your face as you came to accept the truth that you wouldn´t be able to escape from this. You weren´t able to escape from him.

“Look what you made me do darling! Why did you have to say such hurtful things to me? You want to leave? I won´t let you. We were meant to be together, I knew from the moment I first saw you. So I won´t ever let you leave my sight, do you understand? So please don´t fight me if you ever want to have your legs back, okay? You can do that for me can´t you, amore mio?”

“Let´s make some new happy memories together and forget about everything that happened!”

---------------------------------------------------------------

 Wowee this ended up being almost 5k words! I´ve never written anything this long so I´m kind of proud of this one^^

Also remember the outline I was talking about? Well I showed it to @naranciabestboi for some thoughts and we both agreed that you needed to see this little bit of the structure I wrote down. This was for towards the end when reader remembers that bruno killed risotto:

Thank you guys once again for reading my writing and supporting me so much <3

[writing-freak]

Softly Soaring hcs

(GIF credit to its owner :)) )

Todoroki Shouto x Reader

Request: @greywarenns

greywarenns asked:Hi! I discovered your blog recently and I absolutely loved the "facts of the universe" hcs you did with bakugo x reader who is his childhood best friend and crush! Is it alright if I ask for hcs like that with todoroki please?👉👈 I totally understand if you don't feel like writing it bc you don't want it to be repetitive! whether you decide to write this request or not, thank you so much!💕

A/N: umm ok so I went like way overboard, but this was also so fun so I couldn’t help myself hehe. this is my first time writing for todoroki ahhh but it was so fun and I hope it’s alright?? thanks for the request, and thanks everyone for reading! stay safe, have a great day! 500 follower celebration coming next!!

so I’ve been obsessed with this song lately, and ended up sorta basing this on it cause I can’t get it out of my head, I would totally recommend listening, but it’s not 100% necessary to the story :)

The song is Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie

also i have a hand holding kink

Warnings: slight mention of Todoroki’s trauma, but mostly pure fluff

Masterlist

Todoroki Shouto

being todoroki’s best friend came with its fair share of difficulties

especially since you had known him since you were in diapers, and had been a part of every rocky event that shaped the course of his complicated familial relationships, his dealings with trauma, and the stubbornness and emotional instability that came with being a teenager

sometimes you wondered how your friendship lasted so long, but then you spent just a moment around the boy, and you fell back into the comfortable rhythm you shared

for you, todoroki was home

he was playing on the playground, falling asleep way past your bedtime beneath the starlights decorating your ceiling

for him, you were what it felt like to be understood, especially when his stoic demeanor and “blank” face led him to be considered the “dark and mysterious” resident bad boy, who was more likely to be admired and avoided rather than considered a real person with very real feelings

you could see past the stoic expressions in a heartbeat, and knew where to draw the line between a bad day at school and nearing a mental breakdown with memories from his past flooding his senses

you saw the moment his eyes withdrew, the moment he slipped out of the world around him and into one he’s constructed in his mind out of walls and barricades to keep everyone else out

you were the only one allowed a key to the door of that world, and only because you’d spent years constructing it yourself

you had become so reliant on each other in so many ways, but at this point, it barely registered

you shared a world, an atmosphere, a universe

you shared blankets, clothes, and dorm rooms too

half of your friendship is simply being there, because you’ve gone on so long you’re fully comfortable sitting in silence on the floor of his dorm room all afternoon, reading to yourself while he does his homework

you’ve snuck yourself out of his dorm after accidentally dozing off too many mornings to count

the rest of class 1-a is convinced you’re dating, or at least...you know....

todoroki can’t make fun of you, though, because we all know he’s falling asleep on your shoulder at every occasion you have a moment’s break

we also know he’s doing it when you’re busy too, cause this boi can sleep through anything

you share music the most, because you love lying next to him, your heads barely touching, as you share a world beyond your own, forced to think and feel the same as the musicians mold your mind and soul

so it’s not surprising at all to todoroki when you’re pounding on his door frantically at 1 am, your phone clutched in your hand as you shove an earbud in his face

he blinks the sleep out of his eyes as you invite yourself in, dragging him to sit beside you on his bed

“listen to this song,” you say, completely serious, with wide, intense eyes as you hold the earbud out to him, more gently this time

“o-okay,” he says, confused but not surprised 

you close your eyes as the song you spent the whole night falling in love with begins to play in your ear

I want to live, where soul meets body, and let the sun wrap its arms around me

as the song softly finishes, a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere, you open your eyes slowly, tears staining your cheeks as you look expectantly at your friend

his eyes are closed, in what you initially thought was focus, or, as in your case, peace and emotional vulnerability

but when they didn’t open, even as you tugged your headphones back, you realized it was, in fact, in sleep

angry you just shared what you thought was an emotional moment with an unconscious idiot, you slapped the boy awake, pouting as he looked at you in accusation 

“you were supposed to be listening,” you said, fuming

todoroki at least has the decency to look sheepish, but he doesn’t apologize, instead opting for a “it’s after one in the morning”

if he thought looks could kill before…

instead of yelling (like you want to), you shove the earbud (a bit harshly) back in his ear as you cue the song again

this time, you leave your eyes open, locking onto todoroki’s with a glare

you play the song, and it softly begins again, and this time, you’re watching his eyes closely to see his reaction (and to be sure there is one at all)

And I do believe it’s true, that there are roads left in both of our shoes

But if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too

you see something flash in his eyes at that line, though you’re not sure if it’s your own tears returning once more as the beautiful words wash over you for the millionth time tonight

So brown eyes I’ll hold you near, cause you’re the only song I want to hear

todoroki tilts his head just slightly to the side, and you’re suddenly bombarded with the memory of his soft locks tickling your temple as you stare up at the stars, tiny fingers interlocked like your mom taught you to do when crossing the street

cause everything with todoroki felt like that, like crossing the street, like following your own roads that always intersected, were one and the same

a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

and as the musician’s voice pierced your eardrums, you were met with the sounds of a thousand artists before him, the sounds of countless nights listening with your best friend, the sound of his voice as he counted down the numbers before hide and seek, the melodic sound of his voice as he woke you early after a night spent crashing on his floor

a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

you didn’t realize the song was over until todoroki touched your face, and you let out a breath you hadn’t known you had been holding in

there’s a teasing smile on his face, but something in his eyes tells you the words changed him like they changed you

“just checking to make sure you didn’t fall asleep,” he says, before letting out a yawn, and you’re suddenly jolted back into reality, where you sat, on your best friend’s bed, in the middle of the night, sharing music like you always did

you’re up in a second, pulling your headphones to yourself frantically, blushing up a storm as you realize just what you had been thinking

“I have to go,” you stammer, and you’re running out of there stumbling as tears of embarrassment threaten to spill from your eyes

you make it all the way back to your dorm before you cry real tears, confused and upset by the way your best friend was making you feel

but jokes on you if you think you’re going to get away with leaving like that

you know todoroki like the back of your hand, but he knows you just the same, and when you wake the next morning, you know avoiding him is out of the question

he finds you quickly in the halls of the dorms, and you just let out a sigh as you greet him

“I really liked that song,” he says softly, slow to start the conversation you know is coming

so you sigh again, and look away, sheepish, a feeling completely alien to you around your closest friend flooding your veins

“I spent all night listening to that song alone,” you say, wringing your hands together, “thinking about what it would feel like to feel that way about a person, to know someone who cleanses you and makes you whole and makes your soul a part of you again”

“and then I heard it again while I was looking at your eyes, and I realized I already had that”

“it just scared me, that’s all, cause I’d never looked at you that way before”

he was silent through your confession, and you were terrified to look at him, knowing you’d know the second you saw him what he was thinking, and afraid you wouldn’t like what it was

“shou?” you finally ask, your voice breaking as you chance a glance in his direction

but you find his eyes gazing at you softly, a look you recognize as understanding on his face

he reaches for you, and you let him pull you in, your fingers intertwining as you’re brought in close

his free hand cups your cheek, and you lean into him, your lips brushing as you finally embrace

it’s like a sigh, a finally, and you feel like you’re breathing in air after being underwater for so long

you part so soon, and your foreheads are resting on one another, the familiar feeling of his soft hair tickling your skin making you giggle softly

you squeeze his hand, your eyes fluttering open until you’re gazing into his eyes, your noses brushing affectionately

a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Taglist: @anything-and-everything-here69​ @crystal-lilac​

[jawabear]

A Whole New Man (Javier Pena x Reader)

Not my GIF

A/N: I've been writing this for a week and I've finally finished it. Its a little long but I hope you enjoy it. I don't know the exact timing of his life so I may be inaccurate so I apologise for that. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe :)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

Warnings: fem!reader, Soft!Javi, poor boy is desperate for love, mentions of death, crying, smut, soft smut, Pedro Pascal comes with his own warning

Summary: Back home, Javi doesn’t feel right, he feels out of place, he’s missing something...or someone

It had been two days. Two days since he had been home. He felt like an outsider. Laredo hadn’t changed all that much, but he had. He didn’t feel he belonged in his home town anymore. He wasn’t used to the quiet life there. But it was one he dreamed of when he was a kid. To settle down with a beautiful woman, raise a child or two, have a large garden and a porch so he could sit and watch his kids run around like he had in his own family home.

But Colombia had changed that. It had changed him. He wasn’t that same man who he used to respect. His dream was destroyed, he wasn’t the family man he wanted to be. He was something completely different and he hated it.

And of course it didn’t help all the people who were constantly congratulating him for his “achievements” in taking down Escobar and the Cali Cartel. He wanted to distance himself from it. He knew what they didn’t. The true number of how many good officers lost their jobs, lost their lives to catch those scumbags. How much innocent blood had stained the streets of Colombia because of them. And his own hands certainly weren’t clean. But they were covered in the blood of the enemy, but in the heat of the moment, it’s hard to determine who was the enemy and who wasn’t. And there was always that thought in the back of his mind that he had blood of innocents on his hands.

Javi was living with his dad for now. He kind of just wanted the comfort of being with someone who he trusts. He missed his dad a lot while down south, everything that came out if his mouth was pure truth and wisdom to Javi, but the Peña son was never really one to take on his advice, even if he really should have. Javier felt a little vulnerable in Laredo, so having his father there as reassurance was what he needed.

Currently, Javier found himself sat out on his fathers porch staring out into the garden, beyond which was a large forest which he used to play in almost everyday when he was a kid. There was a long a thin stream somewhere in the middle of the woods. Javi has quite the imagination as a kid. Mainly because of all the stories of knights and superhero’s he would get read as a bedtime story by his mother. He used to imagine himself as a brave knight venturing into the thick forest to fight a dragon or some sort of other mythical beast. Or maybe even to recuse a beautiful princess.

Oh, how beautiful she was. 

They were young on their first meeting, maybe about 10 or 11. And it was the start of a long friendship that he was grateful to have had.

Javi was playing in the forest as usual, using a long stick he had found as a sword to fight of the monstrous, fire breathing dragon that he envisioned in front of him. She had appeared on the other side of the stream, looking incredibly shy.

“What are you playing?” She had asked him in a gentle voice.

He paused for a moment, you wouldn’t think it, but Javier Peña was a shy kid. He didn’t really do well around new people, especially girls. “I um..” he had stuttered as she stood up straight “I was...fighting a dragon” he admitted.

“Can I play too?” She asked him, her face bright red, she hadn’t been able to meet his gaze out of her shyness.

“Sure” he agreed “come over” he said, waving his hand to her.

“O-oh” She stuttered, looking into the stream. It was long and wide back then, it had thinned over the years, Javi was sure that it probably wouldn’t even be there any more. And to a ten year old kid, a long stretch of water was a lot more then that.

To them it was like some sort of rapids, one wrong move and you would be lost forever, it would drag you down to the ocean and pull you under, or you would be eaten by some sort of river demon, a sea serpent.

“Hang on a minuet” Javi had told her. He dropped his stick sword and raced off back out of the woods, coming back shortly with a long and wide flat piece of hardwood. He put it across the stream, making sure it was stable by stepping onto it before reaching out his hand to her “it’s safe to cross now” he had said with a smile.

She looked hesitantly towards him, to the wood and the rushing water under it. She gulped and slowly reach out to take his hand before cautiously making her way across his makeshift bridge. “Thank you” She said to him when her feet had landed back on solid ground.

“You’re welcome” he nodded “I’m Javier by the way. Javier Peña”

“(Y/N)” She greeted him “(Y/N) (L/N)”

“Do you still want to play?”

“Yes please” she nodded with a bright smile.

Javier smiled at the memory. He smiled at remembering her. From that first day, they had become best friends. She had only recently moved there so she didn’t know anyone besides from him. Her mother was a florist and had opened up a small flower shop in the town square, the best flower shop there was. They had sleep overs when they became more friendly with each other, and once their parents had met too. He would often teach her Spanish, she didn’t speak a word of it apart from the basics like hello, please and thank you. It was never 100% but she tried her best.

They went to the same school, the same high school. They were there for each other for everything. Through their awkward teen years, which moving into their early 20s they made fun of each other about.

They were each other’s first kiss. People say that your first kiss is the one you most remember. And for Javi, that was the damn truth. He remembered it vividly. He could put himself back in that point in time and relive it so clearly.

They were about 15 at the time. Meeting back in the woods, his bridge still there but the stream and thinned enough for either party to step over it. They were sat on the ground just talking. It was a beautiful night, the sky was clear and the moon was full. But the brightest, most beautiful stars were in her eyes that night. He doesn’t remember what she was talking about but it must’ve been something good or funny because she spoke with a huge smile on her face. He was just overwhelmed by how beautiful she looked that night that he had to kiss her. So he did.

It wasn’t long, or deep. It was a quick peck on the lips. A little awkward if he was being honest with himself, but it was his first kiss. She sort of just looked at him for a moment, in a bit of shock at what he had just done. He went to apologise but she gave him a quick peck on the lips to stop him. And then the next kiss was a little better, longer and a little less awkward. And he loved it.

She was beside him when his mother died, she didn’t leave him or his father for two weeks, she stayed at their house, sleeping in with Javi like they had when they were much younger. They would stay up all night and just talk to each other, she was trying to do everything she could to distract his mind from thinking about his mother. He had a close connection to his mum, she couldn’t imagine what pain he was going through at loosing her, but she supported him and his father as best she could.

That’s when he started to change to the Javi he was now. Not completely, Colombia was the real game changer. But his mother’s passing left a whole is his life that could only be filled by a woman. From that point he was determined to find a woman who would take care of him. But he didn’t choose her. They had too good a friendship. His longest friend, he was scared that a relationship would change that and that he would loose her.

So instead he began to surround himself with what beautiful girls there were in Laredo, one of which was Lorraine. They didn’t date immediately. He was otherwise occupied with another girl called Maria if he remembered correctly. He was then in and out of relationships with girls for about four years. Then when he hit 25 he decided that Lorraine would be the woman he would be with for a while. He didn’t plan on staying with her long, but he had stayed with her for longer than he expected.

All the while, (Y/N) was in the background of his life, she didn’t have as much luck in relationships as he did. Which he was surprised by because for one, she was beautiful, any guy would be lucky to have her and two, most of the girls were pining after Javier, so it was as if single guys were running low. But really, it was because she wanted to be with him. Not that she ever admitted to that, and Javier was blind to it.

And of course she was there to help with the engagement and the wedding, even if it never happened. And she was also there standing next to the woman who she had resented for taking her dream man from her, on her wedding day, dressed in that white dress, only for Javier to never show. And she had to then comfort Lorraine when she cried at being stood up on her wedding day when inside (Y/N) was jumping with joy that Javier hadn’t gone through with it.

Even when he and Lorraine had officially split, he didn’t go for (Y/N). He had pretty much worked through every other girl in his home town by the time he was 29. And that hole was still left in his heart. But he and (Y/N) still remained friends regardless of their complicated feelings for each other that they would never share.

And then he went off to join the DEA in Colombia. He left her behind to go and save the world. She tried to beg him not to go but she knew she couldn’t stop him. She knew him too well, she knew that once he had really decided he was going to do something, he was going to do it. So she had to let him go. And even standing at the airport together, saying what felt like a last ever goodbye, they still couldn’t tell each other how they felt.

Which brought him back to now. Sat back in his home town, staring out into those woods while sipping on a warming beer. He had yet to visit (Y/N). He knew exactly where to find her. In her mother’s flower shop. She had gotten a job there after high school, it’s where she spent most of her time, she loved flowers.

He would’ve gone to see her, but he was scared at what he might find, what he might do. Despite all the women he had been with in Colombia, she was still at the back of his mind. And he was still in love with her. But he had been gone for so long, she had probably found someone else. Maybe even married, had a kid, got to live out his dream. Or, if she hadn’t, he would finally confess his feelings for her only for her to reject him, to ask how he could expect her to love him back when he left her like he did to go and be a hero. And she would be right to think that.

“You’ve been out here for a while son,” his fathers voice drew him from his spiralling thoughts. “Are you okay?” He sat in the chair opposite Javier.

Javi nodded and slipped his beer “yeah Pops, I’m good” he said quietly. Javi didn’t know if he was lying or not. He didn’t really know how he felt. He just felt a little lost. He reached into his pocket looking for a cigarette but let out a sharp huff of air when he remembered he was once again trying to quit. He was trying to leave behind as much of his past as possible, whilst he wasn’t prepared to quit drinking, smoking he was ready to stop.

He pulled out his half empty pack of nicorette gum, slipping out a piece and putting it into his mouth, chewing it immediately. He made a silent reminded to himself to get some more should he ever leave his fathers house.

It had been two days and he hadn’t left the comfort of his childhood home since he got back. He didn’t have his badge or his gun any more, and after years of carrying them around with him every waking second, to not have it, he just couldn’t feel safe. But he knew that Laredo was a safe place, a small and gentle town, so he would feel safe but knowing the truth of the world, he couldn’t be so sure any more.

“You’ve been cooped up in here since you got back. Perhaps you should take a walk into the square. Refresh your memory of the place, might put you a little more at ease” Chucho told his son “and I know someone there that would love to see you again”

Javi felt his body stiffen and he took in a sharp breath “(Y/N)?” He asked his dad with a slight laugh as he looked over to his father who didn’t share the same humour as his son, he nodded “No creo que ella quiera verme papá” (I don’t think she will want to see me Papa)

“¿Qué te hace decir eso?” (What makes you say that?) Chucho asked him.

Javi sighed heavily and ran his hand over his face before taking a long swig of his lukewarm beer. “Would you want to see me after I just up and left?” He asked.

“You’re my son”

“I mean if I wasn’t” his father didn’t respond to this, he just let out a low noise and looked off into the woods that Javi was daydreaming about moments earlier.

“I don’t know why you two never got together. You had been with so many girls before but you ignored the best one” Chucho muttered.

“I didn’t ignore her Papa” Javi argued “she was just-“ he cut himself off realising his dad was right. In a way, he was ignoring her. He was ignoring his feelings for her for the longest time, and even when he had the chance to confess he still held onto them. And she was the best one, by a long way. “Éramos amigos, papá. Mejores amigos (We were friends, dad. Best friends). I couldn’t just...I couldn’t lose her. You know what I was like in those relationships. None of them lasted, even when I thought it would, I fucked it up. And if I was with her...I would lose her like I lost everyone else”

“Maybe none of them lasted because you didn’t mean it. None of them were the right one for you Mi Hijo. And you know that”

“And you think (Y/N) is the right one for me?” Javi asked with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s not for me to decide” Chucho shrugged taking a sip of his own beer.

-

Javi shivered as a bitter wind blew against him, he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as he walked into the town square. It was getting late, so most shops were closing up for the night. He just hoped that he wouldn’t be too late to see her.

As he would walk, people passing by would want to stop him and talk to him. They would want to congratulate him for what he had done in Colombia. Javi would be gracious and thank them but he knew that in reality he hadn’t really done much to change anything. Part of him wished he had taken that job down in Mexico, it would’ve given him something to do but he didn’t know how many more of the horrors of the drug war he could take.

He stopped a little bit away from the flower shop where she was. The lights were still on inside so she must’ve been there still. He looked at the sign on the door, opening and closing times. He checked his watch and saw it was just about closing time, but he decided to walk in anyway. It was empty of people but full of flowers, beautiful colours and different varieties. And the smell was just amazing.

The bell above the door gave a gentle ting as he entered. “Oh, sorry, we were just about to close” his heart stopped at hearing her sweet voice again after so many years. His eyes looked for her and saw she was standing behind the counter, her back to him as she fiddled with some kind of flower basket there.

“Actually, I’m not looking for flowers...” he told her. He noticed her body stiffen slightly before she slowly turned.

And when their eyes met, well, he felt like he could’ve cried. Seeing those beautiful eyes again was just overwhelming to him. “J-Javi?” She stuttered quietly.

“Yeah..” he said softly “Hey (Y/N)”

She let out what sounded like another whisper of his name before stepping quickly towards him and throwing her arms around him. Javi didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around her, burying his head into her hair, refreshing the memory of her sweet scent. He never wanted to part from her again. Being in her warmth really made him feel like he was home. Perhaps that’s all he was missing, he was just missing the warmth of his best friend, his favourite thing about his home.

For a while they didn’t say anything. They just stayed wrapped up in each other’s warmth, trying to make up for the cold 2,500 mile space left between them whilst he had been in Colombia.

She regretfully pulled away, beaming a bright smile to him as a few tears slipped down her rosy cheeks. He lifted his hands to wipe them away with his thumbs and gave her a soft smile back, “I-I can’t believe your back” she told him “well I mean, the whole town is talking about it but I didn’t think you would come back here. To me I mean”

“I couldn’t not come back to you” he told her “you are my best friend after all” he put emphasis on the word ‘are’, and it was hopeful. He was hoping she still would be his best friend, if not a little something more than that.

She just continued to smile at him “you-you look amazing” she laughed softly as she stepped back from him.

“So do you” he said “but you always did. So um...how have you been?”

“Uh...good” she nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been good. Not much to report really. Nothing has really changed since you’ve been gone. Except I’ve gotten a little older I guess”

“But no less beautiful” he whispered more to himself, but she heard him and he saw her face turn a little bit red as she gave him a shy smile.

“But what about you? You must’ve had an experience down there. From what everyone is saying, you’re a true hero”

“I wouldn’t really say that” he mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m definitely not a hero...”

“H-Hey, if you’re free, maybe we could go to the diner and get something to eat? And we can catch up there?”

“Yeah, sure” He smiled with a nod.

“Great” she said “uh, let me lock up and we’ll go” she went about gathering her stuff, her coat and bag, and then grabbed the keys to the shop. They both stepped outside and she locked the door, pulling on the handle a few time to make sure it was secure. Once she was happy she turned to Javi with a smile “shall we go”

“Of course”

-

He had told her as many stories as he could about his time in Colombia. Escobar, Cali, Los Pepes, everything. And she told him everything she could. Although, she wasn’t lying when she said it wasn’t much. The main thing was that her mother had met someone and moved out to Austin with him, (Y/N) stayed because she liked the quiet life in Laredo, she wasn’t one for the city and the capital of Texas was not where she wanted to be.

Her sweet laughter echoed through the otherwise empty diner. The two had spent many nights here in the same position in that small retro diner, he would say something she would laugh, she would say something he would laugh. It was a nice routine to have. And they always ordered the same thing, two cheeseburgers with fries and a large chocolate milkshake. It was a kids dream. And usually they would have to share the milkshake because after the expense of the burgers, they only had enough to buy one. But they didn’t mind, it was nice to share it. They were regulars to this little diner. Same time. Tuesdays, they would get in at 7pm, Thursdays would be at 7:30pm, Fridays would be a risky 9pm and Saturdays would be 9:30pm. It got to the point that their food would be waiting for them in the table when they got there.

They had decided to once again share the milkshake. It was Javi’s idea. But for some reason, this one felt different, it felt like some Lady and the Tramp bullshit. It didn’t help the fact that there was some “romantic” music playing through the jukebox over in the corner of the diner.

“So,” he began as he swallowed down his last few fries “has your love life improved much? Mine sure as shit hasn’t” he admitted to her.

“I thought it did. I dated Santiago for about three years-“

Javi coughed as he choked at her words, she dated that idiot? He reached for his coffee and took small sips to regain his composure. “You dated Santiago?” He asked her.

“Yeah” she nodded “but it didn’t go that well to be honest. He is a complete idiot. At first it was okay. He was really nice, but as time went on, I discovered that he really wasn’t all he made himself out to be. Very arrogant and self-centred. So I ended it. He moved away though about a year afterwards, I think he went down to Brazil with this other girl he met. And after that, I had been in and out of a few relationships but, Laredo is a small town, not many people left” she shrugged.

“I’m glad you ended it” he said “I mean, because you know, I don’t want you to not be happy in a relationship” he added quickly “and Santiago, from what I can remember, was a real piece of shit”

“Yeah, he was” she agreed with a light laugh “so you still haven’t found the right woman?”

He had. He was sat right in front of her, she was right there, his for the taking but he was still a coward and couldn’t tell her. But he could tell her about his encounters with woman, informants down in Colombia. He could find out if she would think different of him when she found out how much he slept around just to get through the night.

“No” he lied with the sake of his head “but...whilst I was down there...well, I had pretty much slept with every prostitute down there” he admitted quietly “the majority of my informants were women, beautiful woman. Looking back at it now, I feel like shit for the way I treated them, using them to get information, putting their lives at risk just to get the smallest lead. But no, I never found the right woman. I don’t really think I was looking for one to be honest. Too focused on work...”

He watched her with worried eyes as she finished the last of the milkshake “that’s too bad” she said to him “I wouldn’t thought you would’ve found someone by now” she told him “I mean, it’s not like you’re not attractive, and you’re so sweet and kind, girls should be lining up to be with you Javi”

He felt relief that she hadn’t commented on his sex life, but also had that thought that she would mention it somewhen else. But to be honest, he didn’t think she was surprised to hear about his encountered down in Colombia. He had been with enough women in Laredo for her to realise what kind of guys he was. But for now he was realising in the silence, she hasn’t questioned him or seemed repulsed but it.

He let out a soft laugh and pulled out his wallet “you finished?” He asked her.

“You’re not paying” she protested as he pulled out her purse.

“Absolutely I am” he said “my treat” he smiled. He stood from the booth before she could protests any more and walk over to the counter to pay for the meal.

“It’s about time you two got together” the waitress, Rosanna, smiled and she went about preparing his change and receipt. She had worked in the diner since the two were in high school, coming here late on school nights to have a little fun, maybe dance a little together.

“O-oh no, we’re-“ he cleared his throat and gave a nervous laugh “we’re not together” he said.

“That’s a real shame” she sighed with raised eyebrows “you two make a cute couple. I’ve thought that from the very moment you first step foot through those doors. It’s nice to see you again Javi, nice to have you back in Laredo” she smiled as she handed over his change and receipt.

“Nice to see you again too, Rosanna” he smiled to her, giving her a tanking nod before returning back to the booth to get (Y/N) “ready to go, my lady?” He asked her.

She nodded and stood, putting on her coat and grabbing her bag, putting it over she shoulder. They waved goodbye to Rosanna as they left. It was dark now, a similar night to when they both shared their first kiss with each other. Clear skies and a full moon.

“You really didn’t have to pay for the food Javi” she said quietly “we could’ve at least split it”

“I kind of did have to pay though. As an apology for the way I left. Although, I know it’s not enough. But hopefully it’s a start”

“You don’t need to apologise Javi. You’ve done nothing wrong. You left because you wanted to help, you wanted to do a job. Maybe I should apologise for the way I acted, trying to stop you and all, I just...I didn’t want to loose my best friend”

“I can see that this could go in forever, so how about we both accept that we are both incredibly sorry” Javi offered.

“Agreed” she laughed.

“Walk you home?” He offered again.

“Sure” she smiled to him. He held out his arm to her and she linked hers with his, pressing herself against him as they walked back to her small little cottage the other side of the woods by Javi’s childhood home.

-

“You know,” she began softly “tonight is a similar night to when we both had our first kiss” she giggled “Do you remember that?”

“Of course I do. I think about it all the time”

“You do?” She asked in slight shock.

“W-Well...I mean...y-yeah” he stuttered, his face feeling hot now.

“So do I” she admitted “I think about...a lot of things we did. A lot of things we...we could’ve done”

“Like what?” She was silent for a moment as she thought over what she wanted to say “I know a lot of things I would’ve liked to have done...” he continued. He stopped in his tracks, she stopped too and stood in front on him. Their eyes meeting and their hearts pounding.

“L-Like what?” She stuttered. He lifted his hands to rest on her cheeks, stroking her skin with his thumb.

“Well, for one, I want to kiss you again...”

“Please..” she begged quietly.

He didn’t question it. She wanted him to kiss her and he most definitely wanted to kiss her. Javi leaned in and pressed his lips to her like he did all those years ago, although this time it was a lot less awkward.

She pulled away and smiled at him “that was...a lot less awkward” she laughed.

“Yeah” he chuckled “I’m um...I’m sorry that I...” He drew in a sharp breath, inwardly grumbling to himself to just man up and tell her “I really fucking like you (Y/N). I love you. And I’m so sorry for leaving you, for not ever telling you, for being with so many other girls when you were right there...just...I’m fucking sorry”

“Don’t be” she shook her head, lifting her own hands to rest on his cheeks “we were both in and out of relationships. I think we’re both at fault, but I fucking love you too. I’ve always loved you Javi...”

He pulled her back in for another kiss, his arms falling to wrap around her waist, pulling her body flush against him. Her arms slipped around his neck, her hands tangling into his soft hair.

-

It was a mess as they made their way to her bedroom, they were both thankful that her home was just one floor so they didn’t have to fumble their way up the stairs to her room. A trail of discarded clothes from the front door to her room, doing the best they could never to break lips. Once they entered the threshold of her room he pushed her onto the bed and made quick work of taking off his shirt before dropping it to the floor and crawling on top of her. Her hands grabbed his cheeks and pulled him down for another deep kiss.

“I’ve waited...” he mumbled between kisses “so fucking long...to have you like this”

“Me too” she told him, her hands slid from his cheeks and into his hair, tugging lightly on the strands. His hands moved down her body and moved under her shirt, trailing up her skin bringing her shirt with him. She momentarily removed her hands from his hair so that he could pull off her shirt.

She pushed herself up into a sitting position when returning her lips to him. His hands flattened on her back. Javi trailed his lips down her jaw and too her neck, sucking and biting on her soft skin electing soft moans from her. “Javi..” she whispered. He let out a heavy breath, her voice electrifying his body in the best way, making him feel more alive then anyone else ever had.

Her fingers slid back into his soft hair. His fingers worked on undoing the clasp of her bra, she slipped it off her arms and dropped it to the floor. He then pushed her back onto the bed and admired her chest for a moment “you’re so fucking beautiful” he mumbled to her before leaning down to take on of her pink buds into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it.

“Javi..” she whimpered breathlessly, stroking through his hair. Javi’s hands stroked down her sides, he trailed his mouth down her stomach, leaving wet open mouthed kisses to her stomach, to the waist band of her jeans. She reached over to her bedside table to switch on the dim lamp there, letting the room be filled with the soft orange glow. He fumbled with the button and the zip before finally being able to pull them off her legs and throw them to the floor.

His fingers were light across the flesh of her thighs. She let out a pleased hum at the feeling of his rough fingers contrasting her soft skin. He gently pulled one of her legs up into the air. He stared at her leg with admiration in his eyes, his hands stroking it as if it were made of the most delicate China. He pressed a kiss to her ankle, to her calves and to her shin. Then to the side of her knee, lowering his body. Then to her inner thigh, he was now settled between her legs.

He rubbed his nose over the waistband of her panties before taking it between his teeth and pulling them down her legs and then discarding them too to the floor, leaving her completely naked under him. “Shit baby” he whispered. He couldn’t help but touch her more. His hands roamed over his body, as did his eyes. He was in awe of how stunning she looked. Feeling completely regretful and almost stupid that he hadn’t taken her sooner. He could’ve had her precious body all to himself by now if he wasn’t such a coward to hide his feelings for her.

She bit her bottom lip as she sat up, matching his kneeling position. Her hands slid up his chest to his shoulder. She looked up at him through her lashes “you’re wearing to much” she whispered to him. This was a new, confident side of (Y/N) that he hadn’t seen before, but he loved it.

She moved around him and pushed him down to the bed, now hovering above him. Her hands felt every inch of his bare chest. Her fingers lingering on the scars that were scattered around his skin. She didn’t think to question how he got them, he didn’t need to explain it to her in that moment. But she knew that none of them could’ve been good. So she made a show of making love to each one in an attempt to erase the memories from his mind.

Her lips were gentle over each scar, after the kiss she would trace a finger over it before moving to the next one. Javi always knew she was gentle, she was always so kind, and having her in such an intimate position made him feel incredibly special. He felt safe for once. She was taking care of him just like he always wanted a woman to do.

“(Y/N)...” he mumbled to her. She lifted her head and brought it over his, looking down at him with soft eyes.

“Yeah?” She whispered, her finger trailing down his cheek.

“Kiss me...” he pleaded. And she did. Their lips joined and his hands moved to her back, his palms flattening against her skin. Their lips moved perfectly against each other. Javi couldn’t explain what he was feeling. His heart was just overwhelmed. He felt it must’ve been a dream. He had dreamt for many years about what it would be like to actually be with her. He had imagine how soft her lips were, how they tasted on his own. He had imagined how smooth her skin would be under his rough hands, how it would feel against his own. He had imagined what it would be like to hear her tell him she loved him. And it was fucking music.

She pulled off his lips, giving him a gently smile before sliding back down his body. She made quick work of getting him out of his jeans, it was effortless for her, or maybe it was simply because he was completely infatuated by her in that moment that any movement she made just seemed perfect and fluid. Her hands dragged along his thighs and he felt weakened. No one had even touched him like that before. As in, no one had taken the time to feel him. Maybe that was his own fault, only ever using them for a quick fuck, Hell, he didn’t even take the time to feel any of the women he had had sex with in his past. Partly because he was so desperate to feel her.

She took her time in admiring his body that he hated so much. He couldn’t stand to look at himself in the mirror because he knew he truth about himself, he knew who he really was. But every dark thought he ever had about himself seemed to melt away every second her hands lingered on his body. She was changing him, she didn’t realise it but she was. He was becoming a better person every second they were with each other.

Her hands were outlining the bulge in his black boxers. Almost massaging the skin around it, she was yet to touch him where he really wanted her too but he didn’t much care. He was relishing in the feeling of her. He just felt so happy.

A finger then trailed down the length of his member. He let out a shape huff of breath. His hips jerked up into her touch when she flattened her palm over him “(Y/N)” he muttered. Her palm began to rub against him. Up and down, up and down. His mouth fell open and his head rolled back onto the pillow. “Fuck” he breathed.

Her hand was slow but it felt so good. He was melting under her touch, he felt like he was floating, he was on cloud nine. He loved her more and more each second that passed. He was, however, half tempted to stop her, to her give some pleasure, to make her feel as good as he felt. He knew it was selfish to let her carry on, but he simply felt to weak to move. Too absorbed in his own pleasure to stop her.

He lifted his head when he felt her hand move to the waistband if his boxers, pulling them down his legs and dropping them to the floor. His length slapped against his stomach and he saw her eyes sparkle. Her fingers wrapped gently around his length and his head fell back against the pillow, letting out a low groan. Her hand then continued its soft strokes. Up and down, up and down.

“(Y/N)...” he muttered again, this time reaching his hand down to tell her to stop her. “Let me touch you..” he pleaded. She smiled to him and nodded. He pulled her back up his body before he rolled them over and pressed his lips to hers, then it was his turn to slid down her body.

He gently grabbed her thighs and pushed her legs apart, his eyes were now focused on her glistening wetness. He bit his bottom lips and let out a strangled groan at the sight. He nuzzled his nose against he clit briefly before slipping his tongue out and licking a long stripe up between her folds. “Javi” she gasped bringing her hand to his hair.

He was going to make her come from his mouth. He was already addicted to her taste after a single lick.

His mouth was now fully attached to her witness. His tongue abusing her clit making her body writhe under him, her fingers tugging on his hair, sweet moans and whimpers falling from her lips with every flick he gave her. “God, Javier” she whispered “s-so good” she managed to say, her hips began rolling against his hot mouth. He didn’t say anything, instead just letting out a low hum. He wrapped his arms around her thighs, pulling her closer too him. He ate her out as if he were a starved man.

And of course, he was. He felt deprived of being with someone properly. He was starved of feeling what it was like to actually make love to someone. He had been starved of a gentle touch which she had given him. He had been starved of being without her for so long, he wanted to make up lost time by just ruining her in the best possible way.

“J-Javi” she whimpered, he carefully lifted her head to look at him. He was fucking enjoying himself. His eyes were closed and he had the most dreamy face, like he was experiencing some sort of heaven. The sight was so damn erotic that she felt she might come undone in that moment but she didn’t want it to end so soon. He wanted him to eat her out for longer, but she didn’t know how much longer she could last. “G-going to-“ she tried breathlessly “Oh-fuck-Javi” she swore before letting out a load moan. Again he said nothing, but her words encouraged him to go harder. He pressed his face as close to her as he could, his tongue swirling over her, sucking on her clit viciously, desperate to hear how she sounded when she came undone for him.

He noticed how she became short of breath, her moans coming out as high pitch squeaks. Her chest was heaving. She was so beautiful. He could feel her thighs trying to push together, if not for his strong hold in them, he was sure they would most likely be pressed tightly around his head, not that he would be opposed to that feeling.

“Come for me baby” he muttered deeply against her. Those words were what she needed to send her into oblivion. Her back arched off the bed as a call of his name escaped her lips. His mouth didn’t stop, but it did slow down, working her through her climax until her hips were stuttering.

Once she had reached that point, he slowly pulled his mouth of her wet heat. He took a second to admire his work, and to admire just how angelic she looked after her climax hit. Her face flushed, chest heaving, lips parted. It was a sight he could get used to.

He crawled back up her body, leaving kisses across her stomach, chest and breasts and he went. He kissed up her neck, along her jawline, on her chin and finally settled on her lips, capturing the last few sweet moans in his own mouth. A soft hum left her lips when she tasted herself on him. “I want you” he told her slowly.

“I want you too” she told him “I really want you” he could hear the desperation in his voice, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she could hear the same in his. Because he was desperate for her, he had been since they were teenagers. And now he finally had her, he sure as hell hoped it was good.

He returned his lips to hers and trailed a hand down her body and between her legs, she squealed cutely when his fingers ran up through her folds gathering up the wetness there. He smeared it over his length and aligned the tip of his dick with her entrance. He gently eased into her, loving the noise she made as he did, somewhere between and moan and a whimper, or maybe it was the two of them combined.

He watched himself sink into her, adoring the sight. She was just perfect. Taking him like she was made for him. Her head rolled back and he buried his head in the crook of her neck, attaching his mouth to her skin as he began to thrust slowly in and out of her. “Oh Javi,” she began, a dazed expression on her face “you’re so good”

“You’re so fucking tight” he groaned through gritted teeth, “so tight...so wet...so good”

He rolled his hips against hers slowly, painfully slowly, trying to draw out a long moan of pleasure from her which he got. A long and breathless moan came from her lips. Her nails dragged up his broad back, definitely leave red lines on his skin, but he didn’t much care about that. The more marks she left on him the better.

His thrusts were slow at first, he was just trying to come to terms with how good she felt around him. And then he started to speed up a little, her nails then digging into his skin as she gasped out his name “o-oh Javi” she whimpered. His face was still buried in her neck, sucking and biting on her skin, marking her as much as she was marking him.

Her legs lifted and wrapped around his waist and she used what strength she could muster to roll them over so that she was now above him. “Fuck,” he groaned when he looked at her. Her hands rested on his chest as she circled her hips around him “you look so beautiful” he commented in a quiet voice. His hands slid up her arms and back down again a few times before sliding back down her sides to her hips to encourage her to ride him.

Which she did. “Javi” she whispered again as she bounced slowly on his length, her teeth dragged along her bottom lip, her head rolling back. His hands tightened their grip on her hip as she began to pick up her pace. His own hips rose to meet hers, he was once again becoming absorbed in his own pleasure. “Javi-You look so beautiful” She panted as her eyes met his. Both pairs were blown black with lust and desire for each other. Pent up sexual attraction and frustration finally being released.

He had never been called ‘beautiful’ before. But he loved the way it sounded coming from her. He loved the way it felt inside him. Making him feel so loved and adored by her, making him feel so special. He felt so incredibly weak by her, succumbing to her every word, her every touch, her every look. He felt completely at her mercy but he didn’t want to be anywhere else. This was where he was meant to be, with her in that moment.

(Y/N)’s hips rolled against his, grinding them against his. His breath hitched in his throat as his head was flung back. His hands were like a vice on her hips. His climax was nearing, he could feel it building in the pit of his stomach. “(Y-Y/N)...” he stuttered out breathlessly. She dragged her hips along him over and over again, each one coming faster then the last. She was killing him. His mind was empty. All he could think about was her, how good she was making him feel.

Her hands moved to grab the pillow either side of his head as she lowered her body down. His head was still thrown back, his glorious neck on full view to her. Her lips attached to his neck and he groaned lowly. She trailed her kissed up his jaw and back to his lips. Kissing him gently as his hips kept going fast. He slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her body flush against him.

With her body now against him, she found it difficult to move her hips to give the desired effect. He knew how to help with that. He managed to push himself to his knees, her legs still tightly around his waist. She was pretty much sat on his lap, their lips still joined. He began to thrust up into her, his hips slamming against hers as he tried to draw both of their climax’s near. Her hands slid to his cheeks, running her thumbs over his rough skin as she moaned helplessly into his mouth, but he was doing the exact same.

Their ends were upon them. He could feel her walls grabbing at him with ever thrust, and her moans and whimpers were getting more desperate. And she could feel his length begin to twitch inside her, he was grabbing at her back, trying to hold on to something when he came, either that or he was just trying to keep her close. She reached behind her to grab one of his wrists and guided it to her hair. He didn’t need to be told what to do. His fingers immediately tightened within her lock and she smirked against his lips. “J-Javi” she breathed “baby I’m so close”

“Me too Mi Amor” he mumbled. His other hand slipped down her back to grab a generous handful of her ass making her gasp, her head falling back giving him perfect access to her neck. He once again buried his face into her neck, muffling his moans and amplifying hers.

“Javi-“ She squeaked as she desperately grasped his hair. His name then fell of her lips like a chant as she released on him, her walls clenching hopelessly around him. He wasn’t too far behind, letting out a low rumble of her name as his hands on her body tightened their grip on what ever they were holding as his come shot into her.

He slowed his hips, riding them through their climax’s before finally stopping. Now her room was only filled with the sound of bated breaths. He removed his face from her neck to look at her. She tilted her head back down to look at him through heavy eye lids before pulling him in for another kiss.

As their lips worked against each other, he carefully lowered them back down to her bed, letting himself sink into the soft mattress below him. She pulled off his lips and smile gently to him before rolling off him. He quickly grabbed her hand before she could leave the bed “w-where are you going?” He asked quickly.

“To the bathroom” she told him “I won’t be long baby” she promised him with a quick kiss. She then disappeared out of the room, leaving him alone feeling...amazing.

He sat up and leaned over the bed to see the mess of their clothes on her floor. He reached for his jeans but stopped himself. It was part of his routine that he hadn’t been able to shake. Fuck, then smoke. But he was trying to quite smoking, and that wasn’t just a fuck. That was love. They made love. He realised that he had no desire to smoke, or to chew his gum, he was on autopilot, so used to his routine of smoking after sex that it just happened with out him controlling his brain. But now he was thinking about it, the only thing he desired was her.

He chuckled lightly and shook his head at himself. He skipped his jeans for the moment and reached for his boxers and pulled them back on. He grabbed every piece of clothing, wanting to clean the space before she got back. He didn’t quite know what to do with it all but he noticed there was a chair in the corner of her room, so he put the pile of clothes in that before slipping back into bed. He took the time to look around her room. It was definitely her, everything about it. And he loved it.

But his eyes stopped at a framed picture on her bedside table that he hadn’t noticed. He shuffled closer to it and grabbed it from the nightstand to get a better look. And it felt like his head fluttered. He knew exactly what it was. It was them on the night of their prom. They had gone together simply because neither of them had anyone else to ask. The picture was taken by his mother before they left.

God, she looked beautiful. Her hair done nice and neatly, a more natural look compared to what some girls had done. The same went for her dress. It was long, simple and the most beautiful shade of purple. It made her look like a damn princess.

She was a princess.

The princess he had saved in the woods. The princess who he help cross the river and saved her from a watery demise. The princess who he shared his first kiss with. The princess who was his voice of reason, the one who remained by his side through everything.

She was his princess.

He smiled gently as he took a final look at the picture for now and placed it back on her nightstand, then snuggling into the comfort of her bed, letting her intoxicating smell fill his body. “You look extremely comfortable” she commented as she walked back into the room. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out what he guess to be a nightdress. A deep shade of navy blue. She slipped it over her body and crawled into bed beside him, pulling the covers over his shoulders.

“I am” he nodded “and I’m happy. I’m so fucking happy. I love you so much (Y/N)”

“I love you too Javi. I’ve always loved you” she told him as she shuffled closer to him, pressing her lips to his again.

This time their kiss was more heartfelt, more meaningful. It was used to try and get across just how much they loved each other, but they both had a feeling that they would never be able to convey that, through anything. She rolled on top of him, his arms wrapping around her waist, not holding her as tightly this time.

“Oh Javi” She whispered in between kisses “I missed you so much”

Her voice was sad. Her fingers were gentle as the stroked down his cheek. “I missed you too (Y/N). Every fucking day I missed you. I feel like such an idiot. For not...for not being with you. For not telling you sooner. My life has been so empty with out you in it. Even when I did have you...I just felt so alone. I needed you more than I thought. I need you to fill the emptiness in my heart. I was so fucking scared of how much I loved you, and I fucked off down to Colombia to be a ‘hero’, but I’m not fucking hero. I wanted to change the world. I wanted to save the world. But maybe I should’ve started smaller. Which was saving my world. Saving you”

He watched as a tear rolled down her cheek but she still smiled at him, her hand shakily cupping his cheek. “Javier, you saved me when you built that bridge” she said to him quietly “and you’ve saved me every day since. You are everything to me” her hand gently brushed away some of his hair from his forehead “you don’t need to be sorry for anything. You are the greatest man I know. And we’re together now, so let’s to worry about the past, let’s look more towards the future”

“I’m never going to leave you” he whimpered “you mean the fucking world to me” she smiled and kissed him again, gently, but no less loving. “This is going to make my dad happy” he chuckled quietly.

“I think this is going to make a lot of people happy” she giggled, reach over to turn off the bedside lamp. She went to snuggle into him but was already buried into her. His arms around her waist, their legs entangled together and his head resting on her chest. She smiled and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, her fingers gently stroking through his hair.

“You’ve made me a better person...I feel great...I feel like a...whole new man” he told her.

“You are great” she said “you should know that by now”

“I love you”

“I love you too” 

Masterlist

08/06/20

[shigarakis-fifth-hand]

Shigaraki x Todoroki!Reader; The Mask

Enjoy the series!<3 one two three four five six seven

Warnings: Extreme abuse, blood, murder, mental issues, cursing

You’ll never forget when your entire life changed for the better. The day you found your purpose, your meaning, your new family.

It all started Friday night, your least favorite night. Your father Endeavor came home early to rest every Friday to check up on your training. Over the week you were required to train 10 hours a day, eat exactly 1700 calories, and to have straight 100′s as grades. Of course, it was almost impossible to maintain such a lifestyle as a 17-year-old, but again, your father was not only the cruelest man alive, but also the 1# hero Endeavor. We’re you almost old enough to leave him? Yes, but at the same time, he would never let you do so. He owned you.

That’s when he first burned your hip.

Your siblings were Natsuo who was 25, Fuyumi who was 27, Shoto who was 20, and lastly your missing brother Touya. Sweet… sweet Touya. Over the years of having children, your father had tried to build the perfect child but had always failed. Fuyumi had been weak, Natsuo had been too kind to hurt a soul, and Shoto was too rebellious against your father. You would be too, but Endeavor had done everything to keep you “right”. 

You were allowed no socializing on the any day except Sunday, you were kept on a tight schedule of modeling, tutoring, interviews, studying, and training, and your father watched you like a hawk.

With you being the last child, he could not mess up with you. You would be the next All Might if it was the last thing he did. He hit you more than any of his children, tortured you more than the rest, and yelled at you more than any of them. And all of your siblings knew that, crying themselves to the sleep at the thought of your bruised and burnt up torso. 

Your father could never touch your face, you did modeling after all. Nobody could know the awful mental issues you had, or the trauma that had scarred you for life. To the public, he wanted you to be the perfect child. Beautiful… brilliant… and powerful. 

God were you ever so powerful.

You took after your brother Shoto, possessing the power to control fire and ice. You could catch things on fire or ice them when you touched things, and once you did, you could control it with your mind. If you tapped the floor with your bare feet, you could start a fire and decide where it went and what it did. You could make it chase someone, make it form a heart, and eventually… kill someone. 

With the power to control it’s movement, you could control the temperature of it as well. You could catch someone on fire and then make it reach over 500 degrees in an instant.

Endeavor loved it, seeing you impress even his fellow pro heroes. Your control over it was amazing, and you were beyond the best they had ever seen. You were a model too, and goodness were you pretty. You had short white hair that went to your shoulders, piercing blue eyes, and beautiful skin. You had been born with red streaks in your hair, but had bleached them out of anger when your father had hit you for not wanting to train. 

You only wanted to have the hair of your mother.

He had knocked the wind out of you with a hard punch to the gut and then burnt your side hip to a crisp when kicked you. “Stand up Shiro. Prove yourself.” He yelled as you used the staircase to pull yourself to your feet, almost falling over in pain. It hurt so much to stand. “Good, now feel the consequences.” As he said that, he pushed you down on your hip, watching as you screamed in pain.

That was the day you ran out of the house, and into the nearby alley, ducking behind a dumpster to breathe. Immediately, you began to switch to a different mindset. You didn’t have DID, but you weren’t normal. One moment, you were crying, and the next you were angry. The next moment, your thoughts would jumble together and you would crave revenge in the form of violence. You had terrible anger issues and a taste of violence, taking after your old man. 

Sure, you were the sweetest thing, but sometimes… you could be cruel, evil, and a demon to be around. But only when you were alone in your thoughts would you allow yourself such cravings as shooting a gun at a bulls-eye in self-defense training, or “accidentally” tripping one of your friends down the stairs.

At those moments, you felt no pity, no love, and definitely no shame in your actions. And outside of those episodes as you called it, you tried your best to ignore it. You weren’t going to stop yourself, because the more you held back, the more destruction you would cause. 

And you didn’t want that, because outside of those episodes, you were sweet, innocent, even fragile. You hated seeing wounded animals, hated seeing your friend get a paper cut, and you never understood your friend’s dirty jokes. You knew what sex was, but why would you want it? 

You had never even felt romantic feelings for someone.

So there you were… sitting behind a dumpster, crying. Pathetic. “Heyyy. Pretty lady. What are you doing out here? Need some help?” A college-aged man started walking towards you, two of his friends following behind. The smell of smoke and alcohol radiating off of them. 

“No, leave me alone.” You insisted, hugging your knees and barely even paying attention as you tried to contain your thoughts about your father, and the searing pain in your hip. It burned like crazy. “But why, you’re pretty and crying. We’re bored and here to help.” 

They kept walking as you looked up at them, shocked and a little scared as they were very close now. “Don’t come any closer! I’m warning you!” You stood up, even though they had you backed up against the dumpster and wall. “Aww, don’t be scared. Now let’s see what’s under that pretty dress of yo-”

In that moment, you sent a spear of ice through the man’s heart, blood splattering all over you in the moment. “W-what?! Hiromi?! Man, this bitch is bat-shit crazy!” As the guys were about to run, you did what your instincts told you. You sent ice spearing through their torsos too, sending them both to the ground. Slowly you walked over to them, rain starting to fall on your head. “I warned you, didn’t I?” You asked, stepping on one of them as they pleaded for you not to kill them. 

“I’m not killing you. I’m just… letting you out of your misery.” Before the rain could start, you set them all on fire. Hearing their blood-curdling screams, you smiled. How nice. They’d be dead before the rain could pick up. Walking down the alleyway, you listened to their screaming of pure music to your ears. You loved every bit of it.

In that moment, your entire life changed. You began your journey on your way to your true passion. You were able to get yourself a custom mask from a shady store in the down-country, and started your new life. Whenever you got bored or your father pissed you off, you would slip on the mask, pull up your hair into your hoodie, and kill. 

Your mask was amazing too. It was a bright red gas mask, which hid your entire face except for one of your blazing blue eyes. It was amazing, watching your victims stare at your one eye as you killed them. They were looking into the same eye as the pro hero Endeavor, your father, and that made you smile. The man who made your life hell had made the latest and greatest new villain in town.

“Again? God, when I get my hands on you I’m going to make you pay!” Endeavor yelled at the tv in his office, sitting at his desk with his feet held high. You were sitting in the chair against the wall near him, sketching in your book. Your father had brought you to work to meet your future teachers, since there was a villain on the loose and he didn’t want you at UA, one of the main targets. Little did he know she was right next to him. 

“What are you talking about Dad?” You asked, looking up from your book. Unlike your siblings, your father made you call him that, since none of his children had ever called him anything near it. He had said it showed that you saw him as a father figure, respected him, loved him, saw him as a caregiver, and gave you an innocent appeal that contradicted your powerful and aggressive quirk. The word had lost any meaning to it.

“Shiro, this villain will be your competitor when you become a pro hero. Look at them. Sources say they’re known for burning their victims bodies so we cannot find fingerprints, or anything. We don’t have a face to go with it, or even a picture of them in general. The only thing is that they believe it may be a female based on the laugh heard, and that they wear a bright red gas mask to hide their identity. It’s brilliant!”

“This bitch has killed over 75 people, and has burnt over 2 million in property damage. This is next level stuff for one person. If we can’t take them down, you will have to.” Endeavor sat back in his chair, returning to his computer. That was about the amount of conversation you would have with him on the weekly.

That was, until you heard an explosion outside, and yelling. Running to the window and standing on your tip toes, you looked out to see the League of Villains on the streets, all running around. Blue flames circled the streets, and you wanted to go join. You had your hoodie and mask in your back pack, and you wanted to get in on the fun, get some promo on the news. The very thought of people seeing your one blue eye was exciting, and sent shivers down your spine. 

“Dad, let’s go o-” You were dragged from the window and thrown to the ground. “Get under the desk Shiro! Don’t be an idiot!” He yelled, not caring that you had hurt your ankle in that moment. With hesitation, you walked behind the desk, bringing your bag with you. “Good, now don’t move. Remember, you don’t get to fight professional villains until you’re a pro yourself.” Endeavor explained, picking up a few things to bring with him downstairs. 

“I don’t want to be a hero.” You mumbled, rocking back and fourth as you held your legs. “What did you say to me?” He screamed angrily as you looked up, not knowing that he heard you. “N-no! Dad! I didn’t- I didn’t mean to say that. I just- eck!” You screamed as his hand came to hit your face, leaving a large bruise. 

“Don’t you dare bitch! You don’t get to say what you want and don’t want! I wanted a son, but look at what I got! Now you’re going to fucking listen!” His hand came to punch the other side of your face, knocking your head into the desk. 

“Fuck, if I had a belt I would whip you senseless.” He murmured as you started crying. “I-I’m sorry… just stop…” You cried, trying to hide your face between your knees. “Oh I’m not letting you get off this easy! Your brother said the same thing, and I’m not making the same mistake again!” 

As you tried to hide, he grabbed a box-cutter off his desk and sent it into your hip. “Now don’t you try to leave this room.” He mumbled, walking out without hesitation, leaving you to bleed on his floor. 

The cut was deep, and you were loosing blood fast.

Only being able to listen to the outside, you could hear the commotion calm down within minutes before your old man walked in. “Get up. Your future UA teachers will be here in five minutes. Put your jacket around your waist.” He threw it at you as you picked yourself up. “Don’t speak unless you’re told to. Got it?” He asked as you slowly nodded, trying to pull yourself together and wipe the tear marks away before two men stepped through the door. 

One had black hair and a man bun, and the other had long blonde hair that he kept down. You recognized them immediately. Radio sensation, UA teacher and pro hero Present Mic with his husband Eraserhead, who was a UA teacher and a low key pro hero as well. 

“Ahh, Shiro! We’ve heard so much about you! Hello!” Present Mic came to shake my head as you shook his, still shaking as Aizawa looked at my bruise. “Ahh, I… fell.” You hesitated, laughing as the two smiled nervously. These two worked with kids… so could they sense your fear. Could they help you?

“Um, let’s sit. Of course you were recommended, but I’d love to see your quirk in more action.” Aizawa motioned to your father’s couch as you all began to walk over there. But in the moment, your jacket fell off your waist, showing your crisped and bloody t-shirt from your father earlier. You could see the burn mark of a hand print even. “Oh my god! Shiro dear!” Present Mic got up to help you before you pushed him away gently. “I fell earlier! If you’ll excuse me I’ll just be a minute!” You rushed out of the room, leaving the jacket on the floor as you grabbed your backpack and sprinted out. You had to get out of the there, to take a break from your father. 

You didn’t care if it ruined your shots at UA or gave you a bad reputation with your teachers early on. You refused to sit there and bleed while they talked about your future. 

As you were waiting for the bathroom, you looked outside to see the League of Villains within the forest. Without thinking, you ran outside and into the forest after them. You didn’t know why, but it felt like destiny was calling you. That was, until you saw Best Jeanist sneaking up on one of the members. 

He had black pointy hair and wore a cloak-like jacket that was also black. Very emo. Slipping on your mask and hoodie before anyone could spot you, you snuck up behind him. Just as Best Jeanist was about to attack and spit cloth strings around Dabi, you tapped your foot, sending ice to Best Jeanist to freeze him like an ice cube. 

“Look out!” You screamed as he turned around to see the frozen pro. “Huh.” He whispered to himself, before turning to face you. With a clear view of you, he could see the red gas mask and knew that you were the one who the news networks had been talking about non-stop. The lonesome villain with a fantastic kill list. But… then he looked closer. He saw how on your hip was burnt to a crisp from someone’s hand, the bruise on your one eye, your bright white hair, and… the bright blue eye. After adding everything together, he realized something. 

“Shiro.” He whispered in shock, before you feel to your knees due to dizziness.