#but today has been emotionally draining

[skoulsons]

“Ellie?”

She had kept herself closed off most of the day, doing as much as skipping meals, not sketching, and declining their routine movie night.

Joel turned the knob, opening the door only slightly. “Ellie?”

“What?” She bit. She was around the corner, still in bed.

He bit his cheek. “Can I come in?”

She sniffled, a mumbled yeah from around the corner to let him know it was okay. He entered, keeping the door somewhat open behind him. He found her on her back, covers pulled up to her shoulders as she stared at the ceiling, counting imaginary stars.

The look on her face was a sure sign, as any, that things were not good.

He sat by her feet, the corner of the mattress sinking down as he sat, her feet following suit and lightly falling against his lower back.

“Do you need something?”

Joel inhaled and exhaled. He kept his hands awkwardly in his lap. “I wanted to check up on you.”

“Why? I’m fine,” she grumbled, eyes still glued to the ceiling.

“You sure?”

She wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t fine. Every possible thought about Joel, Tommy, Maria, Riley, Sam, or Henry that wasn’t positive made its way to the forefront of her brain, twisting everything she knew about them. Making her believe things that she was sure weren’t true. Convincing her of truths that were hard to shake.

Everything is still so new to them. Young and needing navigation and direction. Their relationship and being together now, no plan in sight of leaving or disregarding the other.

She has someone in her life now who cares about her. Who has cared about her for over a year. Someone who dedicates every single day to being present. Who always makes breakfast for the two of them. Someone who holds her when she cries and who lifts her up even higher when she’s happy. Who carries her to bed when she needs it and finds her new comics when he’s outside the walls. Who protects her at every moment and encourages her to eat and shower when she struggles.

Someone who loves her.

And that revelation is what makes these days even harder.

“Hey…” he nudged, turning his body slightly more towards her. “What’s goin’ on, baby?”

Ellie sighed, closing her eyes tightly, waves of colors forming in the black of her vision the harder she squeezed. She opened them, her eyesight wavering as tears pooled at her eyelids. The imaginary stars on the ceiling kept her gaze, still avoiding Joel’s concern.

“Today just… hasn’t been good.”

And while he knew it, hearing it from her still hurts to know. Whatever happened, it hurts to know she’s struggling.

“I think it’s been little worse than hasn’t been good.” It felt inappropriate to point out her near crying and the tight-lipped expression on her face in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay.

“I’m just… having fucked up thoughts,” she sighed, tracing all the constellations she knew into the white of the ceiling.

Joel didn’t say anything. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to say.

Neither of them were the best at talking. Sharing something that pissed them off, frustrated them, or upset them and navigating that conversation in a healthy manner always felt like forcefully pulling teeth before they ever broke the surface of the gums.

Joel hopes his silence is an invitation for her to continue. He wants to help, to walk through what bothering her with her.

“I…,” she started, choking slightly on the syllable. “I feel like people don’t care. They don’t care, they don’t…love.”

Joel tilted his head to the side, eyeing her avoidant gaze.

Ellie brought her hand up and wiped it across her right temple. Her voice wavered, her lip quivering as she spoke, “me.”

Joel had an inclination, but hearing it still hurt all the same.

“I feel like people…” she paused, sniffled heavily. She lazily raised her arm off the bed in his direction, “you… don’t.”

Frustrated, Ellie sat up, her back making content with the headboard harder than she intended. She locked eyes with him momentarily before avoiding his gaze again, fixing hers around the room. Her dresser, a heap of clothes on the floor, her blinds, and the open door.

She stopped keeping her head upright and let the crown of her head fall back, banging against the headboard. She sighed, a wet, embarrassing laugh escaping her. “I… I know. I know you do. I do. But sometimes, I just… get convinced you don’t.”

She fiddles with her hands in her lap as her tears threaten to spill over, Ellie massaging her fingers and cracking her knuckles, even with nothing left to crack. She picks at her cuticles and nails uncomfortably, clearing her throat to get rid of the tight burning that has coated it.

“What convinces you?” Joel asked, his eyes looking twenty years younger—like he’s talking to someone else entirely. Like he’s held a similar conversation before.

His question stumps her.

And she realizes it’s nothing. Nothing has ever convinced her. Nothing could convince her that Joel doesn’t care about her. Nothing could ever truly convince her that Joel doesn’t love her.

He may get frustrated over something. He may be extra tired some days. He may spend a little more strength some days fighting his own demons that it’s hard to be there 100% for her.

But those things don’t mean he doesn’t love her. They don’t mean he wouldn’t lay down his life for her at any given moment. They don’t mean he doesn’t look at her with anything less than adoration, devotion, and appreciation for who she is. Who she is and what she has come to mean to him.

“Have I ever done anything-“

She cut him off. “No. No, no. Fuck no, never.” She threw the crown of her against the headboard again, a few tears spilling down the side of her face and flowing along her jawline. She hastily wiped them away, clearing her throat.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I guess I… don’t think I deserve it or something. So I look at you or Tommy or I… I remember Riley or Sam or anyone else and I… I think they don’t—didn’t care.”

She knows they do. Riley—she knows. Sam she knows. Henry, too. Tommy and Maria—she knows. Joel—he she knows better than any of the others.

“I remember them or I…” she brought her head down from her gaze on the ceiling and looked at him, clearly, for the first time. “I look at you and I wonder why.”

She cries. Her lips pressed together, not enough breath in her lungs to combat the tears falling down her face and slipping down her neck, soaking the collar of her shirt. She wipes and wipes and wipes until her tear-soaked hands can’t catch anymore and they flow freely. She dries her hands on her sheets and it’s still not enough to catch every single one.

Joel moves quickly, his right hand lightly on her shin as he reaches his left out towards her, keeping it held right above her lap for her to feel.

She can barely see, and yet she reaches out, knowing he’s there. Trusting he’s there.

She grabs his left hand with her right, holding it until her knuckles turn white and it hurts. Until it stings and her fingers go numb. Until her hand shakes and the blood flow is cut off from her fingertips.

He moves his right hand from her shin to press a fist into the mattress on the other side of her, scooting himself closer to her. He settles closer to her, bringing his right hand up her shoulder and eventually finding its home on her cheek. He strokes his thumb across it, more tears falling as she leans into it. She turns her head into it, her lips in his palm as he continues wiping her tears.

He pulls his hand back from her face and brings it to her other cheek, sliding his knuckles across to clear the streaks of tears. He returns his hand back to her other cheek, lightly scratching at the roots of her hair on the back of her neck.

Ellie grabs the collar of her shirt with her left hand, wiping the snot from her nose and using any drier part of her shirt to dry her neck and chin.

Joel lifts his left hand to bring up to her face, but a mumbled, snotty no keeps it in her lap, Ellie still clutching it.

She continues to sniffle, finally opening her eyes to see Joel looking back at her, a streak down the left side of his face, right by his ear.

“I’m sorry,” she says, quickly averting her gaze from his.

He smiles slightly, rubbing those all-comforting circles with his thumb over hand. He brings his hand up from her cheek as she closes her eyes, using two fingers to drag hairs down her forehead and tuck them behind her ear.

They didn’t need to be tucked away—but the affection always comforts her.

She takes his right hand in her left, bringing it down into her lap next to their other hands. She watches their hands intently as she rubs circles on his with her right hand and he rubs circles on hers with his right.

“Hey,” he whispers, trying to get her attention. It does, and she looks up at him. The tug on the corner of his lips reaches his eyes. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“No it’s… it’s stupid. I shouldn’t be crying over something I know isn’t true…”

“You know it’s not true?”

She inhales a shaky breath and exhales one just as heavy. She focuses on it, keeping any other tears down as best she can through controlled breathing.

“Yeah. Yeah I… I know.” She pauses for another breath. “But sometimes it’s… fucking difficult. I don’t…” she hesitates, shaking slightly, “I don’t want to look at you and wonder why.”

She chokes, wiping her cheek on the shoulder of her shirt. She feels her back against the headboard and adjusts slightly, rolling her shoulder blades over it.

She looks up at him. His eyes still hold that twenty-year-old look. They glisten because of the tears gathered in them, and the loving smile that hasn’t quite reached his lips has already hit his eyes.

“I’ll remind you. Every day, if I have to—if you want me to. Even if you don’t, I might jus’ have to-“

She laughs—giggles—at that. He laughs too, the kind of laugh that resides deep in his chest. The one that sounds better through his rare toothy smile. The laugh she only hears so often. The laugh when he thinks he’s done something right. The almost triumphant laugh when he seems to have cheered her up.

Ellie smiles, watching his own unwavering smile. “You can, if you think about it. I mean, I won’t expect it every day. If you forget some days, it’s fine. I’m not-”

“Ellie.”

“Sorry.”

Joel takes note of her. The dried tears along her cheeks. Her red and puffy eyes. The way her nose is red. The soaked collar of her shirt.

He doesn’t want to see her like this again. Not over thoughts like this.

“Will reminding you help? You know… keep thoughts like this away?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but it hits her that she doesn’t know. She’s never been positively reminded, certainly not daily, that someone cares for and loves her. No one’s been constant enough to tell her the truths she missed out on as a child. No one’s stuck around long enough for them to mean anything. No one has ever loved her enough to say them and mean them. Nothing other than doubt, hesitation, or reluctance has followed such reminders.

“I don’t know. I think, I… I hope. I don’t know, I’ve… never had someone who did something like that.”

He doesn’t frown at the thought, but his smile fades. Sadness, disbelief at the thought, the truth that she’d never had this before. “Well… we can try it out. You can tell me if you hate it ‘n we can try something’ else.” He smiled again as he rubbed more circles along her hands. “Sound fair?”

She smiles, tears welling at her eyes again. One spills over, Ellie fervently nodding in response to Joel’s question before too many more tears follow.

He lets go of her left hand and opens his arm up, welcoming her in. She scoots into him, tucking her body against him. She lets her legs freely fall into his as she leans against his body, his right arm coming across her back and holding her shoulder tightly. She keeps her face hidden away as best she can in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her right hand finds the bottom of his shirt, rubbing the fabric back and forth between her fingers.

Joel kisses her head, leaving his lips pressed into her hair briefly. “I just… I don’t want this to become something you know is true. Cause it ain’t.”

“It won’t. I… I know it’s not true.”

He kisses her head again, a muffled good reverberating through her. He rubs her upper arm a few times.

“Come here,” he says, letting go of her shoulder and standing up.

She smiles shyly, standing up and wasting no time to hold on to him, her arms wrapping around his middle and settling behind his back. She rests her ear right over his heart, the thump-thump drowning the world out. Drowning her thoughts. Her feet stand in between his, Ellie attempting to get as close to him as she can.

Joel, just like every time before and every time to come after, keeps a steady hand across her back and one behind her head, carefully threading his fingers through her hair. He tilts his head down, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

He sways them gently, covering her back in hand-drawn lines, circles, and a myriad of other shapes. “This is your first reminder.”

She giggles at that.

Something bubbles in her chest. A fire. Butterflies—as cheesy as she thinks that is—it fits. It tickles, in a way. It reaches her finger tips and warms her skin. It helps her breathe easier and keeps her heartbeat beat in rhythm with his. It slows her thoughts and relaxes her shoulder. It lets her relax completely against his embrace.

The reminder is there. The reminder of his care and protection, no matter what. The reminder of the steadfast, uncompromising, sacrificial love that he has for her.

[mothprincess]

when you're having a shitty day and you get a surprise audio from your best friend about the book you're reading together 😭 damn, i needed that... like... i needed something good to happen by chance, too

[cuteniaarts]

Greyscale Midori sketch because I’m low-key artblocked

[nerdnag]

shrimp philosophy save me. save me shrimp philosophy

[awanderingdeal]

I just finished One Last Stop (I know, I know it's been a long time coming) and I feel like I've been pulled apart and shoved back together again and I just loved every single character and oh my god.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[kashmirichaiwithmehr]

.

[agallimaufryofoddments]

Baccano! 20th anniversary, hahhh.

Whoever said anniversaries had to be one-day affairs?

[pinkplatiploo]

“Oh I’ll have this turned in by tonight” it’s 1:30am and I still got at least 30 minutes to go

[juliabby]

juliabaker: this day has been exhausting, i'm ready for a warm bath. contractions are coming.

[smores100]

#we’ve been living in a suspended state of repeated trauma partially because we were robbed of the chance to grieve #and then because of all the hatred and the violence and the other losses and tragedies that have followed for a year #and because 101 hostages are still in captivity #and here we are a year later and we’re STILL not allowed to mourn #we’re still not even SAFE to mourn publically #there are no words #it is indescribable how i feel about everyone who has done this #endless heartbreak #💔 (via jewishlivesmatter)

I have already seen a post CELEBRATING that tomorrow is October 7th. The one year anniversary of the day that over a thousand people were slaughtered, many more wounded and tormented. The day that people- MY people- were taken hostage.

I am going to put this as plainly as I can. If you in any way support what Hamas did on October 7th. You are a monster. If you in any way excuse what Hamas did on October 7th of last year, you are not worth the fucking air you breathe. We have not had a chance to mourn because the SECOND our blood was spilled, people started cheering for more, and instead of having the time to process and grieve all those we lost. Jews around the world had to turn and defend ourselves, justify our existence over and over again.

No more. I will not justify my right to live, to exist, to be Jewish.

We will dance again. Am Yisrael Chai.

[spaceyfuckinstar]

Wow, I am exhausted

[elegantdemoness]

Does anyone feel like if they just went here or did this or didn't meet this person or left in that moment when you had a gut feeling to that things in your life would be infinitely better? I wonder if there are other versions of me that chose a different life and made different decisions. I would want to meet them I think, just to see what they did differently. Would you?

[ja3yun]

Stitch Me Up | L.HS

underground fighter!heeseung x nurse!reader

warnings: smut (mdni), ex heeseung, unprotected sex, cream pie, weapon and blood mention, if i missed anything lmk!

wc: 4.5k+

synopsis: after a tough shift in the hospital all you wanted was to rid yourself of the tension and your ex turns up just in time

a/n: hi! hope you're all doing well. a quick one shot from me so i hope you like it. not much to say on this one <3 ilysm

Dragging your feet behind you, you unlock your door. Everything that went wrong today could have gone wrong; first, you caught your fingers in the mobile hoist, a patient spat in your face, and you spent the last 30 minutes of your shift cleaning shit from the toilets.

No one ever said being a nurse was a glamorous job, but on days like these, you wish you picked something a little more dignifying. 

You kick your shoes off and head to your bedroom to grab some pajamas. Every bit of you is emotionally and physically drained, this past month has been exhausting. Working 70-hour weeks and being underpaid for it was starting to take its toll on your fragile body.

Nights like these you miss Heeseung, you shouldn’t but you do. 

Picking up scattered clothes that made a mess of your bedroom floor, you groan when your lower back aches. Someone in their 20s shouldn’t be in this much pain. They should be living their best life, staying up late, going out at the weekend, and having a healthy social life. 

You love your job, it’s rewarding and you love to take care of people. Seeing people who are in your ward get better makes your heart feel full like your life is actually worth something and doing some good in this shitty world.

You used to have balance. Heeseung was your balance. 

Sifting through your drawers you find some pink shorts with white love hearts and a cropped white tank top. Usually, you would settle for a set of sweats and a baggy t-shirt but after practically spending 3 days straight in unflattering scrubs you wanted something pretty.

When you walk you can feel the pain in your feet, and blisters start to form. You needed this shower asap. Luckily the bathroom is less than 5 steps away from your bedroom door so you can keep your hobbling to a minimum. The shower is so enticing as you switch the button on and set the temperature just right, or in your case, scolding hot.

A roasting hot shower is what you need to forget today. You need Heeseung’s hands to melt away the pain.

You miss him.

Heeseung and you have been broken up for precisely 1 month and 13 days. For some reason today you can’t shake him off your mind. 

The water cascades down your skin, tiny droplets sit on your face as you wash your hair. The smell of coconut fills the tiny box bathroom and for the first time today, you feel content.

After you rinse the conditioner from your hair and wash your body with a matching scented soap, you pull the shower curtain back and step out carefully - the last thing you need is to fall and break a bone.

Wiping the mirror to rid it of the steam you stare at yourself. The dark circles under your eyes and the redness of your cheeks showcase just how tired your body is. Nothing an overpriced and overrated skincare routine can’t fix. You grab the cleanser and start your regime. It reminds you of him, how he used to always help you, the pads of his fingers gently rubbing the product into your skin, and when he had any left over he would use it on himself. He looked so cute and sweet during those times.

What is with you today? Why do you keep thinking about him?

Quickly, you dry your hair and body with the towel and get ready for bed. Typically, you would sit up and watch an episode or two of Brooklyn 99 but honestly, you’re too burnt out to enjoy it.

As you leave the bathroom there is a knock at the door and you freeze on sight. It’s late and none of your friends would come over, so your brain goes into panic mode. Being a girl alone in her flat was scary enough these days never mind taking in the factor of the time. All the lights are off so hopefully if you just stay still, they’ll leave.

Another knock.

Grabbing a coat hanger from the clothesline in the bathroom you arm yourself with it, it would do enough damage to the person on the other side of the door if you had to escape. 

So you couldn’t second guess yourself, you briskly tiptoed to the door and swung it open, hanger tightly in your grip ready to swing.

The figure turns around and jumps, backing up when they see the coathanger ready to be lobbed at their face.

“Woah, Y/N. It’s just me.” He puts his hands in front of him in defense.

Heeseung.

You breathe out and relax, dropping your arms to your side. Although your exterior seems to have gotten over the fright, your heart is thumping still. That could be because when you look him in the eyes finally you register who he is.

“Heeseung it’s past midnight, what are you doing here?” 

He steps forward and you see his face battered and bruised, his lip has been bust open and a black eye forming on the left side of his face, he was a mess. There have been countless times he’s looked like this, it’s how you two met.

A year ago there was a knock on your door, not unlike tonight, except that time your friend Jongseong was carrying a half-to-life version of Heeseung. The boy couldn’t stand on his own two feet.

“Y/N, sorry, I didn’t know where to go, he didn’t want to go to the hospital,” Jongseong explained, although it didn’t clear anything up.

“What the fuck, Jongie, who is this?” You grab the other side of the spent boy and sit him down on the couch, “What happened to him?” Looking at the guy in front of you, you see the blood on his t-shirt, slash marks on his arms, and his face is blown out.

Jongseong rushes to get the first aid kit from your bathroom, “He was fighting tonight and some arsehole pulled a knife on him, and got him in the stomach a few times,” You lift the fabric covering his torso and see wounds bleeding, “I tried to pull him out of the fight but he wasn’t having it.”

You don’t know a lot about Jongseong’s work life, all you know is that by day he’s a simple office body, filling, paperwork, a pen pusher of sorts. But when night came he was an underground fighter, all of it illegal, but he fell into it with some guys at the gym. From what you hear he is pretty good at it.

“Heeseung, buddy?” Jongseong slaps the boy's face a few times, “Stay awake, this is Y/N, she’s a nurse.” So his name was Heeseung.

“Jongie, these are pretty serious, he needs to go to the hospital.”

“No hospital.” Heeseung coughs out. You suppose if you take him to A&E how could any of them explain what happened? 

You rub his legs to soothe him, “Okay, no hospital.” 

That night you stitched his wounds and cleaned him up. Obviously, he survived, and you took him in like an injured winged bird. Let him stay at yours for 2 weeks, and by the time he was ready to fly away back into the world, you wanted him to stay forever.

You look him up and down to take in his outfit, he wasn’t wearing sweats so this wasn’t a scheduled fight, instead, he was clad in jeans, a White Stripes t-shirt, and a loose-fitting leather jacket, “What the fuck happened, Heeseung?” 

“Is it lame if I say you should see the other guy?” He laughs but nothing is funny. 

Stepping aside you let him into your flat which he does like second nature, his shoes left exactly where they used to go, “Heeseung you can’t just come here looking like this and not tell me what happened.” On autopilot, you go to get the first aid kit.

He takes a seat on your kitchen counter and looks around, “Nothing much happened, some guys being dicks.” 

You come back from the bathroom and see him atop your kitchen, “Eh, get down from there. Now.” He always perched himself on anything but a seat. It didn’t bother you too much but right now after your shift, you couldn’t be arsed to pander to it, “Try and treat my place with a bit of respect please.”

Heeseung jumps off and walks to take a seat on the edge of your couch. It might be wrong of you to think it but he does look beautiful like this. You blame Leon Kennedy in Resident Evil for your attraction to busted up men.

As you open the first aid kit you feel his eyes on you, “Why did you come here, Heeseung? You could have treated this yourself.”

“I missed you.” He confesses and it’s true he did miss you. 

For the past month he’s been throwing himself into fights he knows he won’t win just to feel something other than heartache. In spite of his cold attitude and reckless behaviour, he held your love so gently in his heart that he couldn’t even act tough around you. From the first day he laid eyes on you, he knew you had to be his, and if that meant opening up his heart, that’s what he did. 

A first he thought it was because you were fixing his wounds and he owed you something but that thought quickly vanished when you fixed more than that. 

“Heeseung, we broke up. It’s done.” You say coldly. With the thoughts of missing him earlier still fresh in your brain, you had to nip this in the bud.

When you broke up with Heeseung it wasn’t exactly because you wanted to, it was to protect yourself. His lifestyle and yours don’t mix, he was always getting into trouble and you were trying to avoid it at all costs. But more importantly than that, you couldn’t see the man you love come home every night exactly how he is now, broken and beaten. 

The deeper into the fight circuit Heeseung got, the more dangerous it was. People were pulling knives, guns, and bringing back up, all for the sake of making sure their bosses won the bets. Your ex-boyfriend was a great fighter - or so you’ve heard, he never let you come to any of the fights - but these other guys played dirty and it was a threat to his life. 

So when you asked him to stop and he said no, you did what you had to and called it off. You lost sleep, precious never to be taken for granted sleep, every night he fought and it was taking its toll on you. You tried to compromise with him and pleaded with him to go back to the regulated (if you could even call them that) fights, the ones where the stakes are lower.

However, Heeseung was above that now, too much of a hot commodity. 

“Baby, I’m making us enough money so you don’t have to do so much overtime.”

“Seungie, I’m a nurse, all we do is overtime. Plus, this shouldn’t be about the money, it’s about your safety.” Your voice is cracking with every sentence you have uttered tonight, but he still won’t listen, “I’m not asking you to give it up, but please stop taking these high-stakes fights, you’re going to get killed.”

Heeseung scoffs and places a hand on your shoulder, “I won’t die, I’ve got you to stitch me up.”

“No, Seungie, you don’t. I can’t do this anymore.”

It was a brutal way to end it, none of you walked into that conversation expecting that outcome, but for you, it was the only thing you could do.

Soaking a cotton pad with some anti-septic, you place it gently on his lip, a hiss from him following your action, “Sorry.” You whisper. A sorry for the pain but also for breaking up with him. No matter how much you knew it was right for you, you knew it was hard on him. Opening himself up to love you wasn’t easy for Heeseung.

“I’m used to it, baby.” Your heart cries as he calls you baby, it always sounded so perfect coming from him.

“What did the guys do?” You ask and he looks at you with those beautiful eyes, masked behind purple and blue, “You said guys were being dicks, so what did they do?”

He didn’t want to waste energy on it, the fight being over in a flash anyway, “Just stuff. They got a jump on me hence the mess.” He moves his hand to gesture to his face but while his hand is already there, it engulfs yours, the one that’s cleaning the blood from his mouth, “Baby, I didn’t start it.”

“I know, Seungie.” You feel yourself falling back into how it used to be, his thumb running circles into your hand. 

Once you finish up, you place a skin closure strip on his mouth, your thumb rubbing gently to secure it in place. He takes the opportunity to take your thumb into his mouth and you nearly moan at the intimate act. 

But this isn’t how it is now.

“Heeseung.” You warn him. 

He releases your thumb and sighs, “Habit.” He was a man of few words, you knew that, so there was no need to say anything more.

“You should go. Keep it clean, and put some ointment on that black eye.”

“I miss you so fucking much, Y/N.” Ignoring him, you walk into the bathroom to return the first aid kit, “Don’t you miss me?”

It almost makes you laugh. You missed him more than anything, so much so that after the shitshow that was today all you could think about was him. All you wanted was for him to wrap you in his arms and tell you everything is fine, but that is a wish that can’t be a reality anymore. 

“It’s not about missing you Heese-”

“I’ll quit.” 

You turn the bathroom light off and brush past him, “No, you won’t. We both know it so don’t lie to me, don’t start that now.” 

Heeseung is a beat behind you when you walk into your bedroom, “Y/N, believe me.” He knew you didn’t need to believe him, there wasn’t even a reason to believe him because he had said this before. But this time is different, “If you just listen to me,”

“No, I don’t think I will.” The stare you have on him is angry, “I offered you a solution for all of this, and honestly? I am so tired of this conversation now. I need you to go.”

Hurt flickers in his eyes, “Baby, I’m miserable without you.”

Agitation builds up inside you. He’s acting like this is solely your fault, like you were the one that caused all this. Granted, you broke up with him but it was after giving him every solution to stop it, “This is not my doing, Seungie, okay?” He wants to retaliate but you snip in before he gets the chance, “You love fighting those losers more than you ever did me, you made that clear.”

He sees red at your allegation. How dare you even think for a second you weren’t his number one. Sure, he didn’t want to give up fighting, it was who he was, but he also didn’t want to lose you, he sees that now. He has to prove to you just how much you mean to him.

Heeseung takes two long strides to you and kisses you hungrily. It’s been so long since he felt your lips in his. The stinging from his wound is dull compared to how he feels to have you like this again, he has a whole month of kisses and fucking to catch up on and nothing will stop him.

“I love you so much don’t you dare fucking say that.” It was a rarity for him to say that he loves you out loud. You knew he did, it was his actions that showed his love more than words, but hearing it made your eyes well with tears. Because he didn’t say it much, you cherished every single time he did.

You fall onto the bed behind you, his weight crashing onto you as you both lose yourselves in the kiss, all that anger and hurt dissipated each of his kisses.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you try and deepen the kiss but he pulls away. He takes off his jacket and t-shirt and that’s when you see the bruises dispersed along his chest and torso. This fight must have been a lot more brutal than he let on. 

Sitting up you kiss each bruise while he straddles your lap, gently showing love for each one. The nurse in you wants to tend to them right away, they really did a number on his stomach and you’re slightly concerned about the damage done to his insides. But right now all he needs is a few kisses to make it better.

“They don’t hurt, promise.” He assures you, but if you kiss him too hard, which isn’t hard at all, he winces. To fixate on something other than the pain he whips off your tank top and just the sight of your breasts has him feeling a-okay, “Missed you so much.”

You could laugh at his obvious ogling but with your burnt out body and his just the same, you just needed to feel him, “Seungie, please,” You whine into his right peck as you kiss him over his darkest bruise again.

Heeseung understands your pleas and pushes you flat against the bed before undoing his jeans and not so gracefully kicking them off, “What do you want, baby? I’ll do it all.” 

To quit fighting. That’s what you want to say, but you can’t risk the idea of an argument, not when you’re so close to having him inside you again, “Fuck me, Heeseung. Please.”

This is all he’s been dreaming about since you told him to go. Your love wasn’t the only thing he craved. 

Dipping his head down to yours he kisses you again, his hands dipping into your cute pajama shorts to pull them down, “Can I eat your pussy baby?”

You would love nothing more than to feel his tongue all over you but you are truly exhausted, “I have had such a hard shift Seungie, just need your cock to make me feel better.” You’re lifting your hips into his as you say this, staring into his eyes to let him know he has to do this soon or you’ll crash.

“Okay, baby.” He brings two of his fingers to your folds to assess how easy you could take him. You’re wet but you could be wetter for him. Heeseung is an average size but if you’ve been without sex for a month like he had hoped you’d need a little more. 

He clambers over you to reach the top drawer and grab some lube. His cock is basically in your face so who were you to not have a taste of it? You sit up on your elbows and your mouth engulfs his member. He's so shocked by the sudden action he nearly drops the bottle, “Shit, baby.” His free hand finds its way into your hair as you bob up and down his shaft, “Missed that mouth of yours.” He breathes out, “Missed it sucking me off, missed it saying my name, fuck I even missed it bossing me around.” 

Pulling back you look at him with an unamused look but he uses it as an excuse to kiss you once again. 

Slithering down to his previous position he coats his cock with some of the lube, sparing some for your hole, slipping a finger into you to slick your inner walls with it. You turn into a moaning mess as you feel his fingers for the first time in so long, your hips involuntarily buck up.

“I’ll only be a minute, baby.” Once he feels satisfied you won’t feel any pain, he slides his finger out and rubs the head of his cock on your pussy. He isn’t even teasing you but you feel like he is with how long he is taking.

Abruptly, he pushes into your heat, the feeling of you around him makes his head spin. No one will ever feel as good as you, that’s why he’s willing to do anything to have you, “So good,” he exhales, “So fucking good, baby.” Bottoming out, he can’t stop a loud groan from erupting out his mouth. You’ve missed the sound so much.

He starts to thrust into you at a fast pace once he knows your walls have settled, each hit making the room fill with sounds of skin slapping and curses. With the way he’s fucking you, you would think you hadn’t seen each other in years, but he craves you so much that even one day without the option of you around his cock was unbearable. 

“Shit, Seungie please go faster.” He listens to you and picks up the pace, knowing how tired you are he needs to get you off quickly. 

Between your thighs, his hand finds your clit as he starts to rub it harshly. You look unreal right now, with your mouth open and head thrown back into the mattress.

Lifting your right leg over your shoulder he reaches a deeper spot, his cock pounding into you with ferocity it makes you squeeze around him, “Oh fuck, baby, do that again.” You squeeze his shaft with your walls again, “Fucking pussy feels like heaven.” He whispers to himself.

His hips keep a harsh rhythm, the sharpness of each thrust sending you more and more over the edge, “Close.” Is all you say.

“Yeah? Gonna cum for me, baby?” he smirks, happy knowing that he’s about to feel your ecstasy around him, “Cum for me, Y/N.”

And just like that your pussy comes undone on his dick that is still mercilessly pummeling into you. A loud mewl draws out your mouth and your hands grab onto the duvet under you, he’s making you feel bliss right now. 

Heeseung can feel himself getting closer and if he wants full satisfaction he needs to cum now while your walls are contracting thoughtlessly, he needs you to milk his cock dry.

Feeling him lose his rhythm a little you know he just needs a little something to bring him over the edge, “Seungie, need your cum so bad.” He loved it when you begged for his seed.

“Yeah? How bad?”

“I’m starving for it.”

The last few words have his hips stuttering and ropes of his cum shooting into you, filling you up just how you like it.

You’ve finally regained composure from your own high and just in time to see his slack jaw and eyes screwed shut. He was one of the few people that looked good when they orgasmed and you loved when you got to see him in all his glory.

Heeseung falls onto you briefly to catch his breath, the pain from his stomach coming back slowly but that doesn’t matter right now, “Let me clean you up.” He slides out of you and goes to get supplies to look after you.

Because your job requires you to look after everyone around you, it was nice how Heeseung would do aftercare so well, making sure you’re okay.

He takes a while but as he comes back he’s holding a damp cloth and bottle of water in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, “Sit up for me baby.” 

After placing the tea and water on the bedside table he starts to run the cloth along your sensitve area. He loved to see you full of his cum, every time the white substance would leak from you he felt a bit of pride so washing it away like this was mourningful.

“I have quit.” He says lowly, “Fighting, I mean. I quit this morning.”

“But you only said you would quit earlier?” You question, recalling the previous conversation.

“I wanted to see if you would believe me.”

You’re dubious, not understanding what he’s saying, “You can’t just quit like that, Seungie. You told me it wasn’t that easy.” 

And it wasn’t. It’s not like you can hand in a two week notice and call it a day, there are too many stakeholders involved, too much money being thrown around to just up and off.

“Yeah, you can see it wasn’t so painless.” He finishes cleaning you off and goes to place the rag in the washing basket.

“What do you mean?” As he walks into the room you see his bruises again and it all hits you at once, “The guys being dicks…”

Heeseung nods and jumps back into his boxers but not anything else with the hopes you want him to stay, “Told them I wasn’t doing it anymore and next thing I know I’m on the floor.” He laughs embarrassed at the memory.

This was technically your fault, you asked him to stop the high stake fights and this is what happened. 

Seeing your face, Heeseung sits on the bed next to you and cups your cheek, “Hey, no, I know what you’re thinking but you didn’t make me quit. I chose too. This is my doing”

“But I asked you to.” You look down and trace over his bruises lightly.

“Yeah, but I said no at first.” His hand runs into your damp hair, “I decided to quit this morning because losing you isn’t worth it. I meant it when I said i’m fucking miserable.” 

Sighing you fear this happiness in your chest is going to disappear at any moment, “It’s what you love though, Seungie.”

“I love you.” He hates that you have this preconceived notion that somehow he loves fighting more than you, “And I know I should have said it more when we were together but, baby, give me another chance so I can keep saying it.” 

You want to cry again, “Have you actually quit? No more fights?”

He places his hand on his heart, “I quit, promise. The only fights now will be with guys who stare at you too long.” 

Laughing, you remember a time he clocked two guys out for even offering you a drink. Heeseung has always been protective of you, that’s why you missed him so much today. Coming home after a grueling shift made you want nothing more than for him to hold you.

He’s offering you that chance again and you can’t turn it down, “I love you, Heeseung.”

“Fuck, baby, I love you too.” His lips are on yours again as he pours his love into you, his devotion.

Heeseung wasn’t letting you go again. Not for any fight in the world.

[aberooski]

If today has taught me anything, it's that everyone who's very seriously told me I should probably consider therapy or anything like that since high school was probably right.

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 – 𝟗

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄: 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰

⤥ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤥ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔

⤥ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟖.𝟕𝐤

⤥ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡, 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐚 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢��𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤, 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐦𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐬𝐥𝐮𝐭, 𝐧𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟. 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭 (𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐯𝐬𝐬𝐲), 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐦, 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲, 𝐧𝐨 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐝𝐮𝐛-𝐜𝐨𝐧 (𝐛𝐜 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐬)

⤥ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲'𝐬 𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤.

(A/N: I had to add a little note here because I gotta clarify that even if Y/N never outright denies his advances, I still thought I'd add the dub-con warning because it's hate sex after all and I hope you guys know it's followed by angst. anyway, enjoy babies!)

"Alright, I think that's everything for today. Thank you guys so much for coming in on a Saturday", trainer seo's calm voice echoes through the qiet office and with a soft smile you shoot him a quick nod and get up from your seat.

"Of course, Sir, anytime", Sunghoon replies just as calmly and the urge to roll your eyes at the sound of his faux politeness seems overwhelming after almost two hours of having to listen to him.

You're surprised to say that the tension in your muscles isn't even necessarily because of his presence but rather because you're mentally and physically exhausted.

The past two weeks feel like the burden of a whole year on your shoulders, your chest feels tight and you simply can't seem to get rid of the weird feeling in your stomach. You hate how much this break up is effecting you, it's not like you had genuinely loved Jaemin in the first place but the humiliation his disloyalty comes with has been weighing a lot heavier on you than you could have ever prepared yourself for.

After such emotionally draining days you'd much rather spend your Saturday afternoon getting tipsy on your best friend's home made cocktails while getting things for Seung's party ready than having to sit next to your least favorite person for a total of three hours.

However, you're just as relieved as you are tense that the meeting has finally come to an end and despite the fact that you'll have to drive home with Sunghoon, you're more than just excited to finally join the boys and get the party started.

"I know this is a lot to ask for, especially after I've held you two captive here for hours but could you give the storage room a quick clean up? The boys love to just throw their stuff in there and finding the things we need gets harder each time."

You try not to let your lack of enthusiasm show in your facial expression because no matter how badly you want to get home, Sunghoon would never deny his precious trainer a request like that and just as you're about to respond, he jumps in and approves your expectations.

"Sure", he says casually, not even bothering to check if you're just as okay with it as he is, "we'll do it roughly now and then I'll have the boys clean it up properly next week."

All you can do is press your lips into a tight lipped smile as you nod along to his words and voice your farewells to the rest of the staff members, only for your eyes to finally roll into the back of your head with an annoyed scoff.

"Say what you've got to say or shut the fuck up", Sunghoon is quick to shoot back in response to your non-verbal comment and with your brows furrowed in annoyance you scan his face.

"We could have just left this for another day", you hiss and run a hand through your hair, "since – you know – we actually have to be somewhere, you teacher's pet."

"Can you just keep it down for once, for fuck's sake", Hoon's quick to match your energy and for some reason his reaction triggers all the emotions you've been suppressing for the past few days.

"You act like I'm not telling the fucking truth", you spit back at him and turn around to grab your bag and get this shit over with. All you can think about is to finally put some physical distance between the two of you after spending way too much time in such close proximity with him.

"Look, I don't give a fuck about whatever you say. If you wanted to leave so badly you should have spoken the fuck up. It's not like you're usually one to hold back, so don't blame this on me", Hoon presses through gritted teeth and you hate the way you can't stop your gaze from dropping to his stupidly plump lips, "plus, if you want to leave, you're very welcome to do just that."

"I'm not gonna spend money on an uber when we agreed to drive home together in the first place", you say and raise your hands in confusion, quickly averting your gaze from his face to stop any more weird thoughts to enter your head.

The last thing you need right now is to let your mind wander to places which will only ruin you further. Places which include Park Sunghoon and his annoyingly attractive features.

"Then shut the fuck up and let's get this done so we can leave and I can finally pretend like you don't exist anymore."

Hoon's tone is cold, it's raw and it's harsh. But just as usual, it doesn't hurt you. Nothing he says to or throws in your face actually gets to you anymore. After years and years of constant back and forth you've grown immune to his hateful behavior.

But, different than you usually would, you decide to just let out a soft sigh and follow him out of the office and to the front of the ice rink, loving the way the cold hits your heated skin and calms your nerves.

For a moment you forget about Sunghoon's agitating presence and allow yourself to take in the sight of your former safe place.

One might have expected for you to get used to the sight of the huge ice rink after working as the hockey team's manager for the past six weeks, but somehow it hasn't gotten any easier. You don't feel the need to just fall to your knees and mourn the biggest loss of your life anymore but there's definitely this little sting in your heart whenever you remember how only a decade ago this exact place would have put you at complete ease. Whereas now you find yourself dreading every single second you have to spend there.

To your surprise, Sunghoon doesn't take this moment away from you but just quietly starts working his way through the messy storage room. For a moment you actually consider not helping him since he was the one to make the decision for you both but you know you'll leave faster if you give him a hand, so with yet another sigh of annoyance you place your bag onto the benches and join to help him.

None of you says a single word for the first twenty minutes and you can't believe that you're actually grateful for Sunghoon to opt with silence rather than another stupid argument.

You can't lie and say you haven't noticed the fact that he's been holding back on you a little more than usual, regardless if your brother is present or not and for some reason you can't help but wonder what the reason might be.

However, you don't get enough time to actually overthink your enemy's behavior as your phone suddenly starts buzzing in the back pocket of your jeans.

"Is it one of the boys? I texted Jaeyun but they might not be with him right now. Tell them it'll take us another thirty minutes", Sunghoon says and doesn't look up from the corner he's currently picking up the broken pucks from and despite the fact he usually prefers your lack of verbal response, he feels irritation bubble up in his stomach once he realises you haven't answered him yet.

However, your facial expression of discomfort and annoyance quickly tell him that the name on your screen does not belong to any of your friends.

"I'll be back in a minute", is the only thing you say once you've processed the fact taht you're currently looking at a name you'd much rather not deal with in that particular moment.

For the first in over a decade you're actually grateful for the fact that Sunghoon doesn't give a single shit about you or your life because if it was one of the other boys, you would have had to explain why you're about to pick up a call from your ex-boyfriend's best friend.

Without saying another word and anxiety boiling in your stomach, you make your way into the lockers room but not necessarily bothering to close the door behind you since you're more than just sure Sunghoon wasn't going to look for or check up on you anyway.

It takes you another row of vibrations to regain your compose and finally pick up the call. You could have just ignored it but for some reason you feel like you owe your own conscience this phone call.

"Hello? Y/N? Are you there?"

And just as you had subconsciously expected, it's the sound of your former lover's voice which makes its way to you and with your heart skipping a beat you let out anloud sigh of annoyance.

"What the fuck do you want, Jaemin?"

It doesn't take much for the blood in your veins to start boiling, anger and wrath coming together in the worst way possible and before you can even realise it, the back of your head is pulsating in agonising pain.

Talking to him over text was enough for your mental stability to spiral in a way you haven't experienced in months and hearing his voice now seems like the worst decision ever.

"Can you stop being so fucking aggressive for once? Don't worry, I'm not calling because I want to but because I have to", your ex boyfriend hisses and every single one of his words pushes you deeper into your state of irritation and anger.

"Stop fucking yapping and get to the point", you reply and pinch the bridge of your nose between your fingertips and if it wasn't for the possibility of Sunghoon hearing your conversation, you would have lost it on him already.

But in no way does your ego allow you to give him the satisfaction of hearing you in a state so vulnerable.

"You still have a few of my hoodies and I remembered that I forgot my laptop at your place", Jaemin sighs and you can hear the way he so obviously tries to calm himself down, his attempts easily hitting your conscience.

"I'll bring them to the café and have Tsuki give them to you, I don't want to see you."

You don't bother telling him about how you're afraid you'll actually punch him in the face and get arrested again if you ever had to look at his face again, since you know how paranoid he tends to be. You'd rather not worry about him ruining your record so close to your graduation.

"You can't be serious", Jaemin suddenly scoffs, wrath and pettiness wavering in his voice, "grow up and stop acting so immature. I'm gonna come by in an hour and take what belongs to me."

"Do that and I'll have Jongseong go batshit on you", you don't even hesitate with your threat, knowing oh too well just how intimidated he's always been by your best friend's rather cold demeanor.

"Why are you making this so difficult for me, Y/N? I never hurt you."

Maybe it's the lack of sleep and rest or the emotional exhaustion but something snaps inside of you as soon as your brain registers his words.

"You cheated on me, you ugly fuck", the volume of your voice has actually risen to the point where it echoes in the emptiness of the lockers room, easily gaining Sunghoon's attention.

For a moment he finds himself moving closer to the door to actually listen to what you've got to say to that stupid ex boyfriend of yours, but as a wave of rage overwhelms him, he decides to keep his distance for his own sake.

"Stop making me the bad guy in this, Jaemin. I gave you my everything. Every time I tried to put my boys and my life first, you guilt tripped me into thinking I never gave you the attention you needed or asked for but at the end of the day I had to beg you for a date night for four months."

Silence erupts on the side of the phone, followed by another sigh and now you can't help but wish you could actually look at him. Your heart craves the sight of his mask crumbling because you've finally given up on the relationship.

"Whatever lets you sleep at night", Jaemins says nonchalantly, "at the end of the day you still never trusted me enough to let me cum inside of you, so I guess we're even."

"You never earned yourself the privilege to fuck me raw, you stupid loser. So fucking loud and bold for someone who doesn't even eat pussy", you don't care about how loud you're being or the chance of Sunghoon hearing way too intimate details about your sex life, the accusing tone and words of your ex boyfriend are simply enough for your brain to go into overdrive.

"It's disgusting and I won't let you make me feel bad about it, not anymore", Jaemin's voice is filled with hatted and disgust, the instant waves of shame and embarrassment following his words are overwhelming.

"Go cry to your fucking mother about this, maybe she gives a fuck about your fragile masculinity", you say casually, knowing exactly just how much he hates being referred to as a so called "mama's boy".

"You fucking b–", "I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you. A black eye and broken ribs are literally just a phone call away."

A beat of silence follows your threat and you know you won this round, yet again. At the end of the day Na Jaemin remains a gutless coward who loves to bark and yap, but never really has the spine to stand by what he says.

"You know, it's baffling to me how you've always had such high expectations of me when not even your own father can stand you and your annoying personality."

And for the first time the two years you've known him, Jaemin has actually managed to leave you speechless. The feeling of betrayal and pain is too intense, too strong for your body; a verbal response seems like a challenge.

"Come on, don't stop", you scoff, knowing what kind of response he wants and you're determined to do everything in your power to make sure he won't get that satisfaction, "I'm my father's least favorite child, my step-mother hates my guts, they disowned and threw me out when I turned eighteen. How about you go ahead and mention my dead mother too, hm? Since you wanna step that low. Don't hesitate now, big guy."

You can feel the knot in your throat doubling in its size at the thought of Jaemin throwing everything you've trusted him with in your face like he's just been waiting for the right moment.

But this is exactly what you're used to, so despite the ache in your chest you calmly wait for his response to your words.

You're so caught up in your argument with Jaemin, that you don't even notice Sunghoon's tall figure casually standing in the doorway, shamelessly listening to everything you've been saying for the past five minutes since he physically couldn't stop himself from eavesdropping once you had responded to your boyfriend's lack of privilege regarding unprotected intimacy.

He simply can't explain why the thought of your ex boyfriend denying you the sweet pleasure of oral sex was the last straw for him, but regardless of the reason behind it, Sunghoon has not stopped thinking about burying his face in your cunt ever since you had exposed your former lover.

At this point the young male would be lying if he said he has never thought about you in a sexual way, but he'd never, ever admit this to anyone but his own self.

He hates you. He's always hated you and he can't even think of a day where he won't look at you and not feel the urge to skin himself, yet at the same time he also can't deny just how badly he wants to fuck your brains out.

Every now and then Sunghoon caught himself imagining the sweet sight of your pretty eyes filled with tears, begging him to just please fuck you the way you've always needed to. And while he definitely didn't enjoy those thoughts and mental images at first, he's come to the conclusion that he's taken quite the liking in the want to fuck that annoying attitude out of your system.

Maybe being in your presence would be a little more bearable if you got fucked properly, since Sunghoon is pretty sure none of your previous lovers or boyfriends have ever managed to give you exactly what you need. Then on the other hand – who knows if he has what it takes to handle a girl with an attitude like that, right?

"Yeah, your stammering is just wasting my time", you suddenly say and pull Sunghoon back into reality, his eyes attentively roaming the way your outfit seems to hug every single curve of your body in the most perfect way possible.

Sunghoon despises you for being so god damn attractive and annoying at the same time. If you only ever managed to shut the fuck up, he'd actually have the nerve to be in your presence for longer than twenty minutes.

But usually it doesn't take you too long to open those pretty lips and say the most agitating, annoying and useless things and irritate every single bone in his body. What a perfect sight you'd make with your mouth stuffed and nothing but gags and muffled whimpers rolling off your busy tongue.

"I'll drop your shit off again Tsuki's café and will make sure she gets your ugly ass arrested if you end up being dumb enough to wait for me there."

Sunghoon watches the way you run a hand through your hair and just as he's about to let his gaze drop to the sight of your soft thighs, you suddenly decide to turn around and before he can even realise it, he's looking into your eyes. 

A wave of shock and panic overwhelms your body and your brain is suddenly flooded with worries about just how much he's heard already and how you'll ever recover from this.

You don't even bother saying any farewells to your ex boyfriend as you try your best to hide just how flustered and ashamed you are. Not knowing for how long he's been listening in on your conversation makes the anxiety in your lower stomach go crazy.

You never, ever wanted him, of all people, to know the disappointment your intimate life actully is and yet here you are.

"I always knew your taste in men is bad but this?"

Different than he had expected from himself, Sunghoon doesn't quite hold back with his response, knowing he has to say something or you might notice the way he's been devouring you for the past few minutes.

"Yeah, thanks for nothing", you sigh and roll your eyes, consciously ignoring the way Sunghoon's eyes seem to linger on the exposed skin of thighs for longer than necessary, "how about you just shut the fuck up and mind your own business? If I ever wanna talk about my choice in men I'll go to a therapist and not to your mommy issued ass."

And there is the Y/N Sunghoon knows and hates with the coldest parts of his heart.

But for some reason, your words seem to trigger a completely different reaction this time, because where usually he'd feel the anger boiling in his blood, now the way you're looking at him with furrowed brows and your pretty lips pressed into a thin line do nothing but push him deeper into his naughty fantasies.

"Nah, you know me", Sunghoon chuckles bitterly and casually approaches you, completely unbothered by your words, "I have to throw this in your face just for the fun of it."

"Go get fucked, Cunthoon", you spit back and don't hesitate to get on your feet, knowing you have no choice but to physically stand your ground since he's basically towering over you with his height.

"With or without the privilege?"

It takes you a short moment to realise what exactly he's referring to and as soon as you do, your eyes roll into the back of your head followed by a loud sigh.

You're trying very hard to mainatin your cold composure, but the second your brain processes just how close Sunghoon is standing to you, everything seems to become even more difficult.

You're not ready to admit just how badly you want him to touch you, not to yourself let alone to Sunghoon himself. No matter how much the thought of his hands on your body have your head spinning, you're ready to take this to the grave with you.

Sunghoon's the reason for so much of your past pain and heartache, the reason you promised your twelve year old self to never, ever let him back into your life and up until this particular moment you've managed to maintain your emotional and physical distance to him, so why the fuck has it suddenly turned into a challenge?

"It's honestly so sad to see how you're always so loud about knowing what you want and how you wanna be treated when you can't even find yourself a man who's actually attracted to you", Hoon's words hit the center of your fragile self worth and for the first time in the past few days, you actually feel the tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

After all the things Jaemin has thrown your way, you're pretty sure you're not quite strong enough to take another hit from Sunghoon, especially considering how much more merciless and brutal he tends to be.

But maybe you need this. Maybe you just need to hear and feel Sunghoon's hatred in this particular moment just to remember who the fuck you actually are.

"Hm, that's all you've got?"

Sunghoon takes another step closer to you, his dark eyes attentively roaming your face as he nods and refuses to respond verbally.

You hate how much the fire in his gaze is burning your skin and how it's nothing but fuel to the flames in between your legs.

There's absolutely no reason for you to feel this turned on by Park Sunghoon, of all people.

"What's wrong, snowflake? You seem so lost in your thoughts", Sunghoon suddenly whsipers and the sound of the nickname he's given you exactly eleven years ago slices through your chest like a knife, triggering you in a way only he could.

"Get the fuck out of my face", you spit and press your hands flat against his strong chest, hating the way the hair on your neck literally stands up at the feeling of his muscles underneath your touch, "and don't ever call me that again."

You don't exactly know what you expected his reaction to be but nothing could have prepared you for the feeling of Sunghoon wapping his fingers around your wrist just to turn your body around and press you against the wall with your hand now firmly pressed into your lower back.

For a moment you can't help but wonder if this is actually real. Sunghoon hasn't touched you in over a decade. He's barely ever looked at you and yet now he seems more than just comfortable pressing his chest into your back.

"Or what, snowflake? What are you going to do? Curse me out and hurt my ego? Tell me about how my parents won't ever be proud of me or how they'll always choose their golden child over me, hm?"

You hear his words, yet the fact he's whispering them into your ear makes it impossible for you to actually understand what he's saying.

"What the fuck are you doing? Let me fucking go", you hiss and gulp harshly, not even realising how much you've been pressing your thighs together but Sunghoon is more attentive than you are and the only thing he's been focusing on is the way your chest is rising and falling uncontrollably.

"Let me guess what that loser told you", he suddenly sighs and reaches for your other hand just to hold both of them in one of his own, his cold touch sending chills down your legs and a jolt of hot arousal straight into your cunt.

"He talked about how your big mouth and that bratty attitude of yours were the reason he cheated in the first place", Sunghoon sighs and lets his unoccupied hand find its way around your waist before he places it flat against your lower stomach and for some reason, you don't feel the need to push him away anymore.

You can feel the blood thrumming in your ears, your heart quite brutally hammering against your rib cage and if it wasn't for the fact that he's got you firmly pressed against a wall, you're pretty sure your knees would have given out.

"Sunghoon, what the fuck–", "Don't make me find other ways to keep that mouth of yours shut, snowflake", Hoon quickly interrupts your protest and the anger finally finds its way into your veins, joining the disgusting arousal that's been clouding your brain.

You want to push him away. You want him to let go of you. But most importantly: you want him to just finally fuck you so you can get him out if your system.

Sunghoon might hate you with every fiber of his being, but at the end of the day his feelings for you won't change the fact just how easy it is for him to read your body language.

You might not have noticed for just how long you've been pushing your pretty ass up against his raging hard on, but he has and there's absolutely no way he's going to feel ashamed about it.

He hates his boys for being right but he knows neither one of you will ever say a word about this to anyone, which is probably why it's so easy for him to push his hand over your skirt and take ahold of your thigh.

At this point you can feel his rapid heartbeat against your back and the urge to move a little more against the pretty impressive bulge in his slacks has slowly become overwhelming.

"He's right, I can't lie", Sunghoon suddenly whispers, his plump lips touching the back of your ear with each word, resulting in your brain taking a lot longer to process the contentbof his comment, "that fucking attitude of yours is what makes you so unbearable. Always talking back. Always saying whatever you want, whenever you want, just like the entitled little girl you've always been and forever will be."

He's being brutally honest and you know it. Hoon doesn't have a reason to lie to you, not even when he's slowly pushing his hand underneath your skirt, all the way up your thigh until he's only a single motion away from grazing your clothed cunt with his knuckles.

And despite the fact that his words push you into the sweetest bliss of pleasure and wrath you've ever experienced, you physically can't get yourself to move in his grip. You want him to touch you and he knows it. Everything that fucker does is on purpose.

"Look at you", he suddenly chuckles and pushes his finger against your inner thigh just to nudge his hand in between your legs and casually press his palm against the entirety of your pussy, "you're boiling with anger because of the things I say but have still made a mess of your panties like a needy slut."

"Fuck you", is the only thing you manage to spit back, your head spinning as the feeling of his strong hands holding yours and his chest firmly pressed into your back leaves you completely breathless.

"You're so close to do just that, snowflake", Hoon doesn't even try to hide the amusement in his voice and you hate him for it but can't hide just how badly you want him to move his hand between your legs.

"Cut that cocky shit show and put your money where your mouth is, you fucking loser", you hiss and push your ass further into his crotch, only for your body to betray you and a desperate whimper escaping throat in response to his hard cock.

"There it is, that attitude I was talking about", he chuckles and suddenly lets go of your hands as he pushes his own underneath your skirt, his fingers casually toying with the string of your thong on both sides of your hips, "but no matter how much you hate me, your body will always betray you."

Sunghoon calmly pushes your underwear down your thighs, the lack of fabric against your sensitive cunt rips a guttural moan from your throat.

"Don't feel so special", you try to keep your voice as stead as possible, "I haven't gotten laid in weeks, you're just a convenience."

"Really?" As soon as that tiny little word slips past his lips, Sunghoon pushes his hand back in between your legs and this time you physically can't stop yourself from bucking your hips into his touch.

The feeling of his cold fingers geazing the hot, wet flesh of your cunt sends you deeper intot he sweet haze of your arousal and in combination with the anger lingering in your veins, you feel like you're about to explode.

"Now, the wetness of your little cunt is telling a completely different story, snowflake", he chuckles and runs the tip of his middle finger through your sensitive folds, only grazing the tip of your hard clit before he moves back to circle your clenching hole and drive you into actual insanity.

"Stop fucking teasing me, you bitch", you spit and wrap your fingers around his wrist to push your cunt against his palm, "just fuck me already."

"Hm, that sense of entitlement you have gets on my last fucking nerves, snowflake", Sunghoon hisses, his words drenched in venom whereas his thumb rubbing gentle circles into your sensitive clit displays the complete opposite.

"F-Fuck you", your voice breaks at the end of your two word sentence and with a soft, breathy whimper you press your forehead against the cool wall, hoping to get rid of some of the heat overwhelming your body.

"Different than your boyfriends, Baby, I'm not one to do just that without any foreplay", he chuckles and suddenly takes away the warmth of his body from yours as he pulls away but doesn't give you enough time to react as he drops to his knees and pushes your skirt a little further up your hips, exposing your drenched cunt to his hungry eyes.

In that particular moment Sunghoon feels grateful for his choice of position because the fact your pussy is the prettiest he's ever laid his eyes on is an ego-boost he would have never forgiven himself for giving you.

Maybe it's the fact he hasn't eaten anyone out in momths despite his favor for it, or maybe it's because he's subconsciously been hoping to get a taste of the most untouchable treat he's ever had to deal with in his life, regardless of the reaosn he can't get himself to actually care about it anymore.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Your voice sounds panicked but the way you move your body further into hsi touch tells him everything he needs to know.

"What does it look like, snowflake? I'm going to do what that loser boyfriend of yours denied you."

His words have a hint of possession to them and easily elicit a guttural moan from your throat as the thought of Sunghoon's pretty lips on your needy cunt leave you completely lightheaded.

"You fucking bastard", you hiss through gritted teeth only to choke on your words as soon as Sunghoon licks a long stripe over the entirety of your cunt, savoring every drop landing on his tongue like it's the sweetest meal he's ever tasted.

"F-Fuck", he grunts and digs his fingers deeper into the skin of your ass cheeks, hating himself for losing his composure but to his luck you're way too fucked out already to take notice of his little outburst.

"Let's see if I can tongue-fuck that little attitude problem out of you, hm, snowflake?"

Yet again, Hoon doesn't give you enough time to respond to his teasing promise by sucking your clit into his mouth, applying just enough pressure on your sensitive clit with his tongue to have you gasping for air.

You've only ever received head a couple of times in your life but never once has it felt so fucking good and you can't help but allow yourself to savor the pleasure he's bringing you, ignoring his identity for the sake of saving your own dignity.

Sunghoon is relentless, careless and sloppy. Loud slurping noises match the actions of his mouth as he swallows your sweet juices, not a single word leaving his lips as he's too busy making sure not one drop goes to waste of the sweetest cunt he's ever had the chance to eat.

For a moment the young man feels his composure slipping through his fingers as he pushes his face deeper and deeper into your cunt, too eager to care about you, too selfish to think about possible consequences.

It doesn't take long for you to tip toe around the edge as Sunghoon switches between thrusting his tongue into your tight hole and drawing circles into your needy bundle of nerves with the hardened tip of his muscle.

You've long lost control of yourself as moan after moan follows each breathless gasp for air and high pitched whimper of his name.

Sunghoon feels anger bubbling in the lower part of hsis tomach at the thought of your moans being so fucking sensual they're actual music to his ears.

With each movement of his tongue, he feels your hole tightening a little more, the urge to have you fall apart from his tongue alone overwhelming him and when he realises that it's because he wants you to know that there won't ever be anyone like him making you feel like this again, he chooses to push that thought all the way to the back of his head.

This isn't about you. This is about him. He eats pussy because it gets him off and that's why he forces himself to simply ignore your moans and whines and focus on the throbbing of his cock underneath all the layers of clothing.

"C-Close", you suddenly whisper, approving his thoughts and it's then that Sunghoon realises that he's had his eyes closed the whole time, like some pussy drunk freak.

"Will you look at that", he suddenly chuckles, and lands a quick spank on the sensitive skin of your ass, "little miss attitude has gone all quiet. Where's that big mouth of yours now, Baby?"

"Shut t-the fuck up", you whimper and throw your head back in ecstasy, too close to actually give a fuck about his comments but too stubborn to give him the satisfaction of your silence.

"Now now, don't get rude now", Sunghoon grunts and guides his hand to the front of your body knowing your eyes are firmly focused on the way his fingers start toying with your hardened clit.

"S-Sunghoon", you whimper and can't believe that an actual veil of tears has blurred your vision, "please, I need to cum. Don't take this away from me."

You try to swallow your pride as soon as Sunghoon's laughter echoes in the empty space of the lockers room but the second he goes back to pushing his tongue into your tight hole, you feel a wave of relief hit your nerves and before you can even process what's happening, your actul arch enemy applies just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive clit and easily pushes you over the edge with just those few movements.

Your ears start ringing as the coil in your lower tummy finally snaps and you find yourself heading head first into your sweet relief. You're physically and mentally not able to keep you'r noises down and you can't even be mad about it because never once in your life has anyone ever made you cum this hard.

The fact he managed to do it with his mouth only is what sends the aftermaths of your orgasm down your spine and for a moment you're pretty sure you're going to lose your consciousness.

You don't know how much time passes until you regain your composure but it's the sound of Sunghoon unbuckling his belt which pulls you back into reality.

"Looks like you can actually be a good girl, snowflake", he grunts as the relief of his hard cock finally being freed from the tightness of his jeans sends chills down his back, "if you told me that it took nothing but a good tongue-fuck to keep that big mouth of yours shut I would have done this years ago."

"Don't be so full of yourself, you bastard", you hiss and hate yourself for being so openly desperately as you turn your head the side just enough to catch a glimpse of his cock, "I told you I haven't gotten fucked in weeks. This was nothing but pent up frustration."

"Yeah, if that's what you'll tell yourself to essentially your conscience", Sunghoon scoffs and casually spits into his palm before he wraps his big hand around his thick cock and gives it a few good pumps, subconsciously enjoying the sight of your widened eyes.

"Turn around", you oblige to his demand without an ounce of hesitation and know you're going to hate yourself for this but can't get yourself to care the least.

"Look, it's not so hard to shut the fuck up when you want something, is it now?"

"How about you–", but Sunghoon's too fast. His hand is quick to grab your face and pull you closer to his body, his dark eyes roaming your features, his expression dripping in the deadly combination of hatred and lust.

"Open up", is the first thing he says, not even bothering to verbally respond to your back talk attempt, "come on now, snowflake. Open that pretty mouth and stick your tongue out for me."

For some reason you find yourself obeying him yet again, despite your brains firm protests you do as you're told and before you can question the decisions of your body, Sunghoon tilts your head back just enough to let a thick drop of his spit fall onto the back of your tongue.

"Aren't you one obedient little brat", he praises yet the words are filled with mockery, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth yet not able to take away the effects of his saliva coating your tastebuds has on you.

"Face the wall again", he suddenly lets go of your face and takes a step back to give you enough space to follow his order and for the third time in a row you find yourself doing just what he wanted you to.

"I know you're too fucked out already but I have a condom", Sunghoon says and allows himself the freedom of letting his eyes roll into the back of his head the second he starts pumping his cock again.

"Oh", you say and gulp harshly, hating how right he is, "good."

"It's gonna be a tight fit", Sunghoon grunts and slides the condom over his rock hard length before lining the tip up with your clenching entrance, "so tell me if you need me to take it easy. And relax. Stop tensing up so much."

All you can do is nod as the feeling of his cock so close to where you need him the most takes over the last bits of your rational thinking. Park Sunghoon is doing soemthing to your body you've never experienced before and at this point you don't even know what to feel or think.

He doesn't say another word and the next thing you know is the feeling of his tip finally entering you, stretching your sensitive cunt out just enough to send tiny jolts of pain through your body and for a moment you actually choke on your own spit.

"Fuck", Sunghoon curses and tightens his grip on your hips, slowly pushing more and more of his length into the warm embrace of your sweet cunt and with every single inch he loses himself a little bit more in the raw pleasure.

"What the fuck", you breathe out once he's halfway through, your cunt involuntarily clenching around his cock as his impressive size is a lot more to take than you could have mentally prepared yourself for.

"Just a little bit more, don't disappoint me now", Sunghoon hisses into your ear and wraps one of his delicate hands around your exposed throat, his grip not too tight yet essily knocking the breath out of your lungs, "be a good girl for once and take what I give you."

And it's this particular line which reminds you who exactly is currently about to fuck you into oblivion, the realisation sending you into a heated fir of rage and before giving him another chance to say anything, you push back and take the remaining bits of his length.

"Just fuck me already", you whisper, the sudden feeling of being filled to the brim overwhelming you and all you can do is hope that he's too caught up to notice.

"You fucking brat", Sunghoon hisses and tightens his grip around throat, thrusting his cock just a little deeper inside of you to make sure you know exactly who the fuck is in charge.

It doesn't take him too long to find the perfect rhythm, pulling his cock all the way out of your tight cunt just to thrust himself back inside of you with sharp movements of his hips.

The empty space of the lockers room is filled with a mixture of your high pitched moans and his deep grunts, yet not a single coherent word leaving either one of you.

It feels like Sunghoon is hitting every single one of your sweetest spots, the tip of his cock grazing the entrance to your womb with every single one of his movements and you feel the hate for your your body's physical response to his doing boiling in your tummy alongside another orgasm.

Every now and then Sunghoon let's out a row of choked profanities, his body not quite able to handle the inner battle between his brain and his cock because there's no fucking reason for you to feel this good.

You shouldn't feel like this. Your pussy isn't supposed to make his head spin and his ears ring, neither is it supposed to push him so close to the edge in such a short time.

Sunghoon has always taken great pride in his stamina. The disappointment of his orgasm slowly climbing down his spine faster than usual almost as present as the sweetness of pleasure rushing through his veins.

This time, however, he doesn't even check in on you as your pussy gives away just how close you are, so without saying another word, Sunghoon pushes his hand between your body and the wall and starts rubbing another set of harsh circles into your clit, knowing he'd hate himself even more if he didn't make you cum before him.

To his luck you've been so lost in the hate of your own pleasure, it takes exactly a minute and the combination of his merciless thrusts with just the right clit stinulation for you to cum all over his cock.

This time your orgasm feels even more intense, so intense your vission actually darkens for a solid second before turning blurry. Wave after wave comes crashing down on you and if it wasn't for his tight grip on your hips you would have lost your balance already.

You're so caught up in the sweetness of your own relief, you barely notice the way Sunghoon's thrusts start growing sloppy and uncoordinated and without giving it another thought, you lazily reach back to grab a fistful of his hair and pull at the thick strands and just as expected is the pain in his scalp enough to elicit a deep, gutturual moan from him as he cums inside the condom yet never once stops moving.

Heavy breathing is the only sound to fill the lockers room for the following few minutes and as the fog of pleasure slowly starts disappearing, instant regret hits your guts.

This should have never happened.

Not with Park Sunghoon, of all people.

"Stop panicking", he suddenly hisses and pulls his now soft cock out of your sensitive cunt, his expression as cold as his voice as you turn around to face him with mascara staining your cheeks and your panties around your ankles.

"As soon as I put my pants back on, I'm going to act like this never happened because it didn't. I had to get this out of my system and that's it. You still mean nothing to me and I'm pretty sure you feel the same, so let's not make a big deal about this."

Maybe it's the post-orgasm state of your still slightly fogged up brain or maybe it's because you're actually struggling to process if this actually just happened or not but as soon as his words find their way into your ear, your heart drops into your stomach in a way you've never experienced it before.

However, as someone who's had her heart broken and soul crushed just one too many times already, it only takes you a minute to regain your composure.

So without even bothering to give him a verbal response, you bend down to pull your panties up your legs again before you lift your head to meet his ice cold gaze.

"I'll give you a minute to get your shit together and wait for you in the car. Don't take too long, we're late already. And don't bother coming up with an excuse, just let me do the talking. For our both's sake."

Sunghoon says nonchalantly and runs a hand through his bleached hair before he simply turns around and walks away, leaving you alone just as he had announced it to you, with your self hatred and yet another reason to despise him.

The drive to your apartment building passes by in a complete blur since neither one of you says a single word and as soon as you walk through the door to your own home, you're met with the sight of the triplets checking their outfits in the big hallway mirror.

"Hold on", Riki says and furrows his brows in confusion, his suspecting tone sending chills down your body and for a moment you feel the fear of being caught bubbling up your throat.

"I thought you got ready and went to the staff meeting so you could just join us at Seung's place", he says and eyes your outfit, the one you initially had planned on wearing to the party but have now decided to rip apart and never, ever wear again.

You let out a soft sigh and just shrug, "I sweated a lot while cleaning the storage room so I'm gonna hop into the shower really quick and get ready properly. You guys go and get the party started. I'll text Tsuki and let her know I'm gonna be late so please tell the boys about this for me, yeah?"

"Are you okay, my love?" Sunoo asks with worry shimmering in his pretty eyes and you curse him for reading your body language so easily. If it wasn't for your abolity to turn off your emotions in an instant you would have bursted into tears already.

But all you can feel is regret and indifference. There's not a single thought left in your head and you find yourself returning to the sweet comfort of feeling empty.

"Super exhausted but just as ready to get wasted with my favorite boys", you smile and caress Sunoo's cheeks with your palm, "don't worry about me. I'll be with you guys in no time."

"Alright then", Jungwon exclaims and gives you a quick side hug, the smell of alcohol surrounding him already and the fact he hasn't noticed his best friends' look of concern despite your reassuring attempts tells you just how tipsy he is already.

"I've left the kittens some food but I'm pretty sure they'll just sleep through the night", Riki says once the other two have walked through the door of your shared apartment, "don't rush yourself. Seung's wasted already, so he has no sense of time anyway."

After giving your brother a quick yet tight hug, you force yourself to take the shower you had announced to the boys and it's only when your skin starts burning that you realise just how harshly you've been scrubbing yourself.

By the time you finally get to your hair, you choose to just straighten it and focus on your make up, the urge to look pretty enough to receive compliments and deceive your insecurities too intense to ignore.

It doesn't take you longer than an hour to get ready and just as you swing your front door open, you're met with the sight of your best friend.

And just as usual she manages to take your breath away. You've never seen anyone like Fukutomi Tsuki. It's like the pureness of her soul has reflected itself in her appearance and with big eyes you take in her angel like face.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen", she suddenly says and covers her mouth with her pretty hands, her fresh set of nails catching their attention and as you process her words, you enjoy the warmth spreading in your chest.

"I was just about to say the same, my love", you pout and oull her into your arms, the hug a little too tight, too long and too heartfelt for a greeting, yet completely normal for the two of you, "you're so beautiful, Baby. You look like an angel."

As the two of you make your way down the stairs to Jay's and Heeseung's shared appartment, you feel anxiety pooling in the lower bit of your stomach, yet you vehemently refuse to allow your brain to acknowledge the reason behind it.

And as soon as you step into your best friends' apartment, you're met with loud music, the smell of smoke and cologne, alcohol and laughter.

"There she is, my favorite human being to ever exist!", Jaeyun suddenly yells from across the room, the honesty in his words taking away every single bad thought in your brain and before you can even break into a smile, a blushy Heeseung has already opened his arms to welcome you with a bear hug.

Once you've spent a good five minutes just in the birthday boy's embrace, the other two have finally made their way to you, not asking why you're late or where you've been. All they do is hand you a shot and a freshly made cocktail before they pull you into the living room and start introducing you to the people from their workplaces.

And as the alcohol slowly starts finding its way into your system, you finally manage to get rid of every doubt, every worry and every single self hating thought. Right now what matters is to have a good time with your best friends and not your former figure skating partner and the little trophy doll he's got glued to his hips.

You might have given into your desires for once but you'd be dammed if you gave him the satisfaction of seeing you crumble.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N2: here it finally is....not gonna lie i'm SUPER nervous about this and genuinely hope you guys like it. I deffo had a lot more fun writing it than I had initially expected. i also randomly decided not to write too muxh about the party bc we have already reached 8.7k words and yeah..no need to overdo it lol 😗🤞🏼 anyway, thank you guys so, so much for all the love and support. i cant wait for your reactions and am sending everyone the biggest kiss ever. ☁️🫧)

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