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yatagarasuhonyaku · 1 month ago

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The Raven of the Empty Coffin: Chapter 1 "Shigemaru" Part 3

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. The events of this novel follow after what's already covered by the anime. For an easier understanding, I recommend first reading the few scenes of previous books I've already translated.

Blog version

For the Index, you can find it HERE

Previously: Shigemaru (Part 2)

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Chapter 1: Shigemaru (Part 3)

As they advanced through the practical courses, the instructors relentlessly rejected the skills Shigemaru and his fellow commoners had. In Archery, they asked them to fix their stance, denying them the chance to even nock an arrow, and this was hardly the only subject where their basics—or lack thereof—got them scolded: they were stuck practicing blocking in Martial Arts, and in Swordsmanship all they did was relearning how to stand and hold their sword from zero.

Day after day, all they got were corrections. It was all how to hold their bows, the proper methods to block, and sword practice swings. Understandably enough, it had taken a toll on everyone’s motivation.

“...... You know, I’m really starting to suspect they're discriminating against us.”

The moment was after having gone through all practical courses at least once. By that point, their group study sessions had become a nightly event. To call it that was, however, a bit of an overstatement—in practice, they just came together to copy Yukiya's homework. They had gathered in Shigemaru and Yukiya’s dormitory room at first, but the number of petitioners had just kept on growing. Once the new additions to their group became more than three, they had no option but to change locations to an empty room instead.

Their little gathering was strictly composed of commoners from all kinds of places. There, facing his blank homework with a sullen look, was Kippei, a boy from the Eastern Region and the one who had just voiced his suspicions about discrimination. He had been the target of more corrections than anyone else during Swordsmanship that very day.

“What's up, all of a sudden?” Shigemaru looked up from his own homework, dropping his brush on the inkstone.

“There's nothing sudden about it!” Kippei complained. He seemed incapable of holding it in any longer. “I've thought about it from the start. Theory? I can still accept it, you know. After being in the same class, I can tell how smart Akeru and the others are.”

The problem lied in the practical courses. Commoners like them came to the Monastery because someone had recognized their sword skills or their physical prowess. Yet, in truth, they hadn’t even been given a chance to shine and just got reprimanded nonstop. It made him suspect—what if this was just silent harassment? What if they were trying to make them quit?

“But the instructors aren’t saying anything to Akeru and his followers. This is just unfair!”

Immediately, the other trainees jumped at the chance to air out their grievances, all in unanimous agreement.

“I’ve been thinking that as well.”

��Me too!”

“I was the best with a sword back home, and here I am! Stuck on simple practice swings!” Hisaya, quite prone to outbursts himself, pouted.

“If only they let us join free training, we could show them all we are capable of,” even Tatsuto, who wasn’t usually the kind to complain, joined in on the conversation.

“I bet Kashin is actually ridiculing us behind our backs!” a furious Kippei interjected again.

If they kept going like that, things would surely end badly. Struck by such a premonition and concerned about the consequences this little venting session would have if left unchecked, Shigemaru clapped his hands in an attempt to clear the room’s heavy atmosphere.

“Come on, come on! If you have the energy to complain, start moving those hands instead. As long as you have the skill, it’s just a matter of waiting to show it to them once we start with matches.”

“But Shige! We don't even know if they'll let us participate in the first place.”

“Does it really not bother you too, Shige?”

The entire group turned to stare at him all gloomily, and Shigemaru was at a loss on what to do next. He hadn’t ever intended it to work this way, but ever since everyone started to imitate Yukiya’s nickname for him, he had, in practice, become the group’s unofficial leader and mediator. While with power came responsibility and the last thing he wanted was to provoke a fight with the Court Ravens, he was the first one to have concerns on the matter.

At the same time as Shigemaru’s group struggled with their assignments, those from noble families were apparently handling both theory and practice with marked ease, and of them all, Akeru, who acted as the year’s Court Ravens representative, stood out as particularly talented. Horsemanship aside, Shigemaru still had yet to ever see him get reprimanded even once, so the boy had started to become a target of resentment and jealousy among the suffering commoners.

Meanwhile, Shigemaru and the other commoners were being constantly put on blast by the instructors. Even if he didn’t believe it to be out of prejudice, there had to be some reason for it. One they just weren’t seeing.

Shigemaru was thinking, trying to somehow find a good answer to the situation, when someone’s oblivious, carefree voice interrupted the scene.

“Good job, everyone!” Yukiya, who had been absent until a moment ago, had just returned. “I just went to the kitchen to get some tea leaves. I even ended up picking up some dried sweet potato to go with it, so how about taking a short break?”

Yukiya greeted them with a bright smile on his lips. Up until a moment ago, the rest of the group had all been bad-mouthing Court Ravens, yet now they found themselves looking away out of sheer embarrassment. Yukiya had been helping them so much that nobody in the room was about to say anything against him, not willingly at least.

“...... Is something wrong?” Yukiya soon asked them. It seemed he hadn’t missed the room’s odd atmosphere.

As a panicked Hisaya jumped to deny the notion, Shigemaru stopped him. Thinking about it, asking for Yukiya’s opinion was probably the best thing they could do given the circumstances. Indeed, once Shigemaru told him the truth of what had happened, Yukiya didn’t even seem bothered by the group’s criticism of Court Ravens.

“Oh, I see. But I think you’re misunderstanding something,” he calmly denied their suspicions. “Right now, what they’re teaching us are all techniques geared towards official tournaments.”

“Official tournaments? Why would they do that?”

“This is the Unbending Reed Monastery, remember? You can’t have the Imperial Family’s private guard acting like hooligans, can you? That’s why they’re teaching us how to battle in a respectable manner, not fight like thugs. Your average Yatagarasu, who’s had no formal training, is not going to know how to do that. Corrections are bound to happen. I really get why you’re so angry,” Yukiya answered as if to mediate. “But, over anything else, bad habits could ultimately lead to injury, so to obey now is for your own future’s sake as well. Sure, Instructor Kashin may be bad-mouthed, but there hasn’t been anything wrong with his corrections.”

“...... Really?”

Recognizing if there was anything off with the corrections they got was beyond the capabilities of Shigemaru and the others—their shared confusion must have been obvious, because Yukiya turned to them once more.

“There’s no need to worry,” he added in a bright tone. “Akeru wasn’t scolded at all, that’s true, but it has nothing to do with his status as a scion of the Western House. I would bet he had a very good master who trained him even before coming here.”

Which meant that Akeru didn’t get any corrections simply because there wasn’t any need for them in the first place. While it was a relief to know the instructors weren’t playing favorites, the group couldn’t help but to panic as well at the therefore unknown skill gap.

They all had difficult expressions on their faces, yet Yukiya didn’t seem particularly concerned about it. “I take it you're worried about the existing gap with the nobles, aren’t you? But, you know, your ability to perform some exercises in a dojo doesn’t determine your strength in actual combat. I’m sure that if you went against them in a match right now, you would be the clear winners.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I mean, they clearly aren’t used to fighting. You can tell just by looking at them,” Yukiya’s eyes partially closed and the corners of his mouth moved upwards, yet one couldn’t in good faith call that expression a ‘smile’. “I’ve been watching everyone long enough to tell how much potential everyone actually has. It shows, you know? That all of you were selected for your skills in arms. Few could surpass you as far as sheer physical capability goes.”

“Wait—you’ve spent all this time watching others during lessons!? And here I am completely overwhelmed just dealing with my own stuff!” Kippei exclaimed, equally amazed and exasperated.

“Anyway, let’s put aside those who, like me, come from warrior families and are Court Ravens in name only. I have a strong suspicion that Akeru and his followers will show their true colors very soon,” Yukiya confidently affirmed.

In answer, the entire group glanced at each other.

“Fine. Then, let’s just trust Yukiya and work hard for now. How about that?” Shigemaru asked.

“Let’s do that!”

“Sure, let’s.” Even those who had been strongly complaining just a moment ago nodded along. Leaving aside the matter of how trustworthy Yukiya was on the subject, Shigemaru just found himself tremendously relieved after seeing everyone agree and calm down for the time being.

But then, it only took a few days for the group to discover that Yukiya’s predictions had been mostly correct.

First of all, it became obvious that the instructors weren’t discriminating against anyone. As soon as they learned how to move as taught, the commoners started to join free training as well. The wooden swords they used to practice their swings were henceforth replaced by bamboo ones instead. It brought Shigemaru joy to see his friends holding them, looking entirely revitalized. However, this was also when reality came in to prove Yukiya's guesswork fallible.

While Akeru’s followers were losing against his friends one after another, the boy himself managed to protect his position at the top. Those who held animosity against him went to challenge him as soon as they were deemed worthy to join, yet none of them proved capable of winning against him with any form of consistency.

“He may not be accustomed to fighting, but he seems quite used to dojo swordfighting,” Shigemaru commented to Yukiya during one of their breaks while he wiped away his sweat.

Yukiya forced a smile. “It seems like it. At the very least, it’s clear he trained quite a lot before coming here.”

At the moment, their topic of conversation himself looked to be extremely angry. Shigemaru couldn’t quite tell why, maybe because of his followers’ terribly poor showing?

“I may have underestimated him.”

There was an air of superiority to Yukiya as he said that, one which gave Shigemaru quite the urge to point out something. “You sure act like you’re above him, but you didn’t even make a good showing in your own matches.”

“Ah, were you watching me?”

“When waiting in between turns, yes. Won’t it be a problem for you if things keep going like that?”

Even though Yukiya had been talking big behind others’ backs, his skills with a sword weren’t anything to write home about. His basics were just fine and he moved well and fast, so Shigemaru hadn’t had any cause for concern before they started free training instead. Then, when it came to the moment of truth, Yukiya didn’t try to attack even once. Even when instructors loudly scolded him for going on the defensive like that, Yukiya would only laugh and make no noticeable attempt to fix his ways whatsoever.

——Maybe, in reality, it was Yukiya who wasn’t used to fighting.

Most importantly, practical courses mattered a lot more than theory in the Monastery Trials. Shigemaru had been too worried about himself to pay any mind to others up until then, but, when he realized that Yukiya may be the one in danger of dropping out, it became his main concern instead.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry! I’ll figure it out by the Trial of Gale.” And yet the boy himself couldn’t be more happy-go-lucky.

With their break over, they went back to the dojo as they chatted. No matter how much they tried to ventilate it, the place still reeked of sweat but, fortunately, they had all gotten used to it by that point. Once inside, they put on protective equipment for their knees and elbows and covered their heads with newly woven feather robes, all before they were even told to do so.

What awaited them, despite Shigemaru’s expectations on the contrary, wasn't free training as before. Instead, the instructors announced that they would be moving on to proper, formal matches instead. In such a format, the victor was usually determined on a best of three basis but, to build up the trainees’ endurance and to get them used to it, they had decided to have three rounds no matter who took the points this time around.

The assistants moved to stand in the middle of the dojo, forming a square with their bodies to mark the limits of the venue. Meanwhile, Shigemaru and Yukiya sat together in the front row as spectators, just slightly behind the line formed by the instructors.

Kashin took on the role of referee and stood right in the center as he started to call for different trainees.

“Red, 3-2’s Akeru. Come forward.”

Akeru immediately stepped forwards, taking the red strap, with an overflowing air of superiority. He must have been expecting Kashin’s call.

“White, 1-1’s Chihaya. Come forward.”

Shigemaru wasn’t particularly familiar with Akeru’s opponent. He could remember crossing paths with him during classes, but they had never actually talked and he had no memory of the boy saying anything during any of the many different self-introductions either. Chihaya hadn’t left much of an impression on him, that was for sure.

As Shigemaru reflected on that, he gave Chihaya a look. One could tell just from appearance alone that he was a man of few words. His mouth was sealed in one thin, straight line, so tightly attached together that one couldn’t be blamed for thinking he may have never opened it even once ever since he was born.

He was tall and had a good, firm build, yet, perhaps because of his long face and sharp cheekbones, he instead gave off the impression of being overly thin and sickly. He had long bangs covering his face, and sharp eyes with characteristic small irises(1) peeked through from under them.

The two of them being chosen for the first formal match most likely meant that they were the most skilled trainees at present, at least according to the instructors. Chihaya tied the white strap on his hips and went to stand in front of Akeru, who was already waiting for him at the starting line. Once both trainees were ready to proceed, Kashin exchanged looks with his assistants. They all nodded.

“Start!”

The moment the match began, Akeru raised his voice as he prepared to attack. On the other hand, Chihaya stood there motionless and silent, watching him. Akeru seemed to hesitate for a second, unnerved by something, only to ultimately still go on the offensive immediately after. For a trainee, Akeru was nimble. He moved remarkably fast as he closed in and slashed downwards with his bamboo sword.

And yet, the next second, that same sword was cutting air.

It all happened in a second. Chihaya had twisted his body ever so slightly to dodge the hit and, with his bamboo sword held only in his left hand, he struck Akeru’s torso. The blow was strong enough for the sound of it to fill the entire room. Two of the assistants raised their left arms simultaneously—white straps in their hands.

“White, one point!”

——It had been so fast, Shigemaru’s eyes were unable to keep up.

Finally, the main referee raised his left arm as well and, having confirmed his victory, Chihaya simply fixed the neck of his kimono. It wasn’t particularly out of place to begin with. Meanwhile, Akeru just stood there, in complete shock, for a while before he returned to the starting line. His expression was clearly strained.

“Start!”

This time around, Akeru didn’t raise his voice or rush to the offensive the moment the match started. He instead opted for slight movements, carefully swaying the tip of his sword as he watched for Chihaya to attack first.

After a while, Chihaya moved. He stepped forward with ease, so much so that it was hard to believe he could pull it off during an actual match. He had been initially holding his sword with both hands, but it was now only held in his right hand. Akeru tried to defend himself, but his sword was snapped away from him by an upwards swing.

The bamboo sword spun in midair as it flew in the direction of the spectating trainees. By the time it fell to the ground—the boys around it dodging it in a panic—Chihaya had taken another point with ease by hitting a weaponless Akeru’s head.

“What was that…?” Shigemaru heard someone murmur. Not like he had any idea either—the difference between the two was just too stark.

After losing two points in such rapid succession, Akeru was pale as a sheet and, while this would have been the end of it in a normal three-point match, he had no option but to go through another round due to the circumstances.

Once Akeru had taken back his sword, both opponents returned to their starting positions. At that point, their expressions couldn’t be more different from one another. While the determination in Akeru's face made it clear he wouldn't be satisfied unless he could get at least one hit in, Chihaya seemed to be completely indifferent towards his opponent either way.

“Start!”

Akeru went for a stab with a loud yell the second the third duel commenced. Yet, Chihaya hadn’t even bothered to get into a proper stance anymore, and instead of making any big effort to dodge Akeru's sword, he opted for barely moving his neck to elude the attack. With his sword held only in his left hand, Chihaya immediately went for a slash and landed a hit on his opponent's temple.

It was enough to send Akeru flying, and he ended up falling harshly to the ground with no chance to do a proper landing. The exact kind of crash that tended to cause more worry for the spectator than the victim.

“White, one point! Hey, are you alright?”

As soon as he announced the initial verdict, a panicking Kashin rushed to Akeru's side. The boy soon sat up and, even though he seemed unharmed, the expression on his face made it obvious that he couldn't understand what had just happened to him. In the meantime, Chihaya merely returned to the starting line without even glancing in Akeru’s direction, as inexpressive as always. Afterwards, they both bowed to each other, marking the end of the match.

It was clear the instructors hadn't expected this kind of unilateral result. Although, after a short discussion between them, they finally started to call trainees again, and neither Chihaya nor Akeru took part in another match that day.

“You're amazing!”

“I had no idea you were that strong!”

“Who the hell taught you how to use a sword like that!?”

After the match, Chihaya became a bit of a celebrity.

A group of trainees had gathered around him, all trying to strike up a conversation at once. Although many of them seemed to be driven by their dislike of Akeru, as one could have guessed, plenty had simply been taken by his skill with a sword from the looks of it, and while Chihaya himself gave no sign whatsoever of answering any of their many rapid questions, the people surrounding him proved to be too excited to care about that.

The evening classes had reached their end, so the trainees were on their way back from the dojo. A good distance behind Chihaya and his group of admirers were the study group regulars, all walking together.

“Dammit. I wanted to be the first to crush Akeru.”

“Nonono. I could have won against him, I just had to land another hit on him.”

As Kippei and Hisaya said that, grinding their teeth, Tatsuto sighed. “So you two were also incapable of defeating him……”

“Shut up!”

“What the hell are you going on about? You didn’t get a proper win against him either, Tatsuto.”

Shigemaru, pointedly ignoring his friends’ argument, glanced in Akeru's direction instead. “That aside, is Akeru truly okay after that?”

Although Akeru himself was silent, simply holding a wet towel to his temple, Shigemaru could see his followers staring daggers towards Chihaya’s enthusiastic group of admirers.

“Well, it may look otherwise, but Chihaya was almost certainly holding back. I doubt there's any real concern for injury. The actual problem is—” Yukiya started to explain something before stopping all of a sudden, noticeably blinking.

“What's wrong?” Shigemaru followed Yukiya's gaze. Upon realizing, he let out an unconscious ‘yikes’.

“Chihaya! I've heard you got quite the achievement today.”

Silence fell upon the entire group of Seeds once they saw who was coming towards them. Nobody knew how he had learned about the recent events, but Kimichika of Minami-Tachibana was nevertheless approaching them from the direction of the dining hall. Even Chihaya’s admirers retreated one step, scared of the Sapling closing in. Kimichika, however, paid them no mind and amiably patted Chihaya's shoulder instead.

“And on top of that, you thoroughly crushed that Western House brat! Is that true?” As Chihaya himself didn't say anything in answer, Kimichika instead looked up towards a certain group of trainees who, pointedly ignoring him, had tried to move along. “Hey, Akeru, is it true?”

At his call, Akeru stopped in his tracks. He turned around towards Kimichika with barely concealed rage. “......Yes, I lost. So what.”

“I see, I see. That's amazing. You seem to be unaware, my Lord, but Chihaya, the one to defeat you, is a Hill Raven working for my House.” Kimichika pointed at Chihaya with his chin, while Chihaya only stood there without uttering a single word. But then, if he served Kimichika's house, that only meant one thing—he was part of the Animiya faction. “For someone like you, who put on airs over being Wakamiya's faithful servant, that must be the last person you would want to lose against. Oh, what a shame for you, both as a Court Raven and a faction representative.”

Kimichika let out an unpleasant laugh. Meanwhile, Akeru remained expressionless, his lips trembling, before finally sighing quietly. All things considered, he had recovered his composure surprisingly fast.

“I'm sorry to say this when you're enjoying my loss so much, but this may be your last chance to do so.”

“Huh?”

“Well, His Majesty the Emperor is going to abdicate the throne in favor of His Highness. It has been decided already.”

“——What!?”

“There should be an official announcement very soon. Now I wonder—for how much longer will the South still be able to act like pretentious fools?” Akeru spoke decisively.

Clear shock replaced the boastful look on Kimichika's face. This must have been news to him. He wasn’t the only one—even the onlookers, incapable of containing themselves any longer, stopped holding their breaths and started a ruckus.

Seeing that from the corner of his eyes, Akeru smiled ever so slightly. “It’s just the truth of the matter. It’s why His Highness couldn't attend the entrance ceremony. The imperial council on the matter took longer than expected, it seems.”

Instead of targeting Kimichika, who was speechless and seemingly deep in thought, Akeru turned towards the so-far mute Chihaya immediately afterwards.

“Chihaya. What a shame. To get kicked out over politics with your master here despite your enormous talent. Luck sure doesn’t seem to favor you, tying you to someone like him. If only you were serving someone in the Wakamiya faction,” Akeru said sardonically.

Chihaya’s gaze was still downcast, fixed on the ground. Finally, he murmured something. “...... I don’t care about either faction.”

Although Akeru's eyes widened from surprise as well, it was Kimichika who seemed the most shocked by his words. “Hey! What the fuck are you saying? Come here, right now!”

Kimichika grabbed him and dragged Chihaya away from everyone without even giving him a chance to say his farewells. Having watched both of them disappear in the distance, a still dumbfounded Shigemaru let out a groan before speaking. “...... The situation is about to get real weird, ain't it?”

As a witness of those two’s relationship and their obvious lack of anything even resembling trust, Shigemaru was overcome by the most terrible feeling. And, just one hour(2) later, it too proved to be a reality at dinnertime.

“——You shit, would you stop with the damn attitude already!?”

The trainees were in the middle of cleanup when a furious scream resonated through the dining hall. Everyone immediately turned to the direction it came from.

“What's going on?”

“A fight?”

Usually, the instructors were the first ones to take care of their trays, followed by Evergreens and Saplings in that order, so by that point the only ones still present were Seeds. And yet, Shigemaru saw a familiar someone with a characteristic hooked nose striking a pose in the distance.

“Isn't that Chihaya and Kimichika?”

“Huh, where did Kimichika's followers go?”

“Useless when it truly matters.” As Shigemaru and Yukiya whispered among themselves, the conversation between Kimichika and Chihaya took yet another turn for the worse.

“I'll say it once more, Chihaya. Clean. My. Tray.” Kimichika’s voice was trembling, barely holding in the desire to scream at Chihaya.

Meanwhile, Chihaya remained seated, motionless and completely unfazed by Kimichika's overbearing attitude. “I refuse.”

“Why!?”

“No reason.” While Chihaya wasn't someone one would call talkative, that had been enough to grasp the situation. As Kimichika tried to drop his tray where Chihaya was, the other only refused stubbornly.

“I'm ordering you as your senior! You are supposed to listen to me, no matter what!” Kimichika yelled again.

Chihaya briefly looked up at him and snorted. Kimichika's face was twisted in pure rage—they must have repeated this particular exchange a bunch of times already. Shigemaru expected him to yell once more, yet Kimichika's expression suddenly changed into one of abnormal calm.

“You know what'll happen if you disobey me, right? You haven't forgotten, by any chance?”

Chihaya glanced back questioningly, and Kimichika’s lips curved. “It's not only a you problem, you know—or should I give you a reminder of that?”

Kimichika’s words were dripping with confidence. That very second, the look in Chihaya’s eyes drastically changed. His until then characteristic indifference had been quickly replaced by unbridled anger. Even though Kimichika had been the one to provoke him first, he found himself balking at the abnormal atmosphere surrounding Chihaya.

“...... What. Do you plan to defy me?”

Chihaya stood up. He moved effortlessly and silently.

——Shit, things were about to get real bad.

At the realization, Shigemaru’s eyes darted around the hall and found everyone else standing frozen in place. Left with no alternative, Shigemaru finally steeled his resolve—just as someone else beside him moved first.

“Ooops, my bad, I slipped!”

A mix of grilled eggplant, chilled wheat noodles and miso soup splashed all over Kimichika's nape. As for who had screamed, it was none other than Yukiya, who had somehow managed to sneak behind him without making any noise. On top of that—and this couldn't just be Shigemaru's imagination—he had actually made a point to gather all of his leftovers before slipping unnoticed and throwing his entire bowl's contents on Kimichika.

Yukiya, you bastard, you did it! Shigemaru barely restrained himself from laughing out loud as he ran in their direction as well.

“Aah, I'm sorry! What a bad idea, though, to stand idly in the middle of the room. The other Saplings have already cleaned their trays and left, so what keeps you here?” Yukiya tried to apologize, but the delivery was the very picture of stiffness. He used his own sleeve to clean Kimichika’s face, or so he made it look. In practice, he was just smearing the mashed eggplant even further.

Incapable of comprehending the sudden development, Kimichika and Chihaya stood there as unmoving as statues for a while.

“You, fucking little runt!” As Kimichika finally came to his senses, he shook off Yukiya's hand and screamed in indignation. Truth be told, not even Shigemaru could blame him for that. This wasn’t the moment to laugh at Kimichika’s hysterics, however, so he instead rushed to the group and put himself in the middle.

“Now, now, please calm down. My friend here didn't mean to do anything bad! He's just tired from the practical courses, you see, so his footing wasn't that good. Right, Yukiya?”

“Yes, exactly! I didn't intend to do it,” Yukiya said as he meekly bowed in apology.

Understandably, Kimichika wasn't fooled by that. “Don't fuck with me! If you didn't intend to do it, then why were you here of all places!?”

The dining hall was huge. There was quite the distance from the spot of the incident to the place where everyone left their trays. Around nine meters(3), in fact.

Shigemaru and Yukiya exchanged glances. “Why were you here?”

“Taking a walk.”

“Taking a walk, he says.”

“Do you two fuckers want to die by my hand that badly?” Kimichika's tone was low, and one could see blue veins bulging in his forehead. Then, just as Shigemaru was wondering how to dodge the question, Kimichika took a better look at their faces out of the blue. “Ah, you two are from the North, right? Well, you Hill Ravens from the countryside may not know it, but the Minami-Tachibana are quite influential even in the Center.”

Stunned by the out of nowhere bragging, Shigemaru stared blankly at him.

“So?” It was just Shigemaru’s honest reaction, but the corners of Kimichika's lips twitched.

“...... You don’t even know that? Rokon, one of Lord Natsuka's first and most important retainers, was known by a different name before(4). None other than Michichika of Minami-Tachibana. He’s, in other words, my older brother. I wonder what kinds of inconveniences await you once he learns you made fun of his little brother?”

“Even if that may be the case, we won’t exactly come asking for your mercy. There’s no need for you to worry.” Before Shigemaru even got a chance to talk, Yukiya had already resolutely dismissed him. “Still, you sure are crude and boring, aren't you? Who brings up his brother's influence that easily? And just to bully a couple of juniors! Don't you have, I don't know, any better options?”

From Yukiya’s tone, he sounded as if he was about to sigh and, just like that, Kimichika's air of importance crumbled away.

“What’s a lowly servant like you doing talking back to me!? As if you know anything!” Kimichika grabbed him by the collar and raised his fist as if to hit him, yet Yukiya stared back at him as if the entire situation wasn't even his problem. Shigemaru could tell Yukiya was fully planning to take the incoming punch—but it never came.

The second before it came to happen, Shigemaru intercepted Kimichika's arm. “Could you wait a moment, please?”

With his arm seized, Kimichika stared at him in confusion. He wasn’t the only one—Yukiya, who had been quite accepting of his fate, did so as well.

“Why did you grab me!?”

“You see, had this been a senior fed up with his junior's attitude, I would get it. However, I can't just stand aside when you make it about status.” The Unbending Reed Monastery was a place where might makes right. Within its walls, one's family status had no bearing whatsoever. They had been told that much very recently. “What’s the point of coming here if we're going to be ridiculed for our birth!? And, of all people, you definitely have no right to do so!”

Shigemaru's shout resounded like thunder as it traveled through the entire hall. Kimichika gulped ever so slightly, but stubbornly stared back at him instead of balking. “Let me go.”

“First let Yukiya go.” Shigemaru was still a Seed, but he was larger than Kimichika. Admittedly, he had no idea how long he could keep up against a Sapling, someone with an extra year of experience over him, but he hoped to at least give him a scare if it came down to blows.

Then, in the middle of such a tense atmosphere, support came from the unlikeliest of places. “Sapling Kimichika, I would recommend you stop right there.”

“Huuh?” Kimichika’s natural enemy had arrived along with his followers. “Akeru, you shit, coming to talk back to your seniors as well?”

“It looked to me as if you were speaking not as their senior but as a Court Raven, or am I mistaken? So, as a fellow Court Raven, let me warn you about something.”

“About what?”

“The person you just derogatively called a ‘lowly servant’ and attempted to punch isn't who you think—but a legitimate scion of the Northern House.”

Shigemaru turned in astonishment to Yukiya, whose face looked like he had just eaten something foul. Akeru casted a glance at his reaction as well, yet he didn’t seem to care as he kept on dispassionately disclosing the details.

“He's the grandson of the man at the very top of all warrior families—the Northern Lord, Great General Gen'ya. Within the Northern House, he’s fourth in rank, only behind the Heir and his firstborn son. Truly a Court Raven among Court Ravens.”

“This guy…?” Kimichika blurted out, completely dumbfounded.

Yukiya, meanwhile, seemed to be completely done with the entire situation. “Eh, that may be the case, yes, I guess.”

Upon the sudden discovery of an unknown high noble among their midst, shock ran through the Seeds, who had been watching with bated breath. Whispers soon spread like ripples throughout the entire hall. However, as the murmurs continued, a figure appeared from the hallway—it was none other than Seiken. Someone had to have gone to call for him.

Kimichika softly clicked his tongue.

“What's happening here?”

That was a question with no easy answer.

They all went silent for a while. In the end, the first one to raise his hand was Yukiya. “I tripped and dropped some miso soup on my senior here.”

“Oh,” Seiken didn’t react at all beyond a murmur, his expression unchanged. He turned towards Kimichika. “Is that correct?”

Being the actual source of the problem as he was, Kimichika was left in no position to disagree or argue. He made a bitter face. “It is, yes.”

Seiken gave them a small nod. “I see, I get it now. First of all, Yukiya. A warrior shouldn’t be tripping and causing others harm. Apologize to your senior.”

“Yes. My apologies, Sapling Kimichika,” Yukiya obediently bowed towards him.

Seiken watched Kimichika as the boy looked down on Yukiya with a very sour face. As he proceeded, his manner of speech remained matter-of-factly. “Now, Kimichika. You should have been able to dodge something like that, I hope you realize. To explode like that and raise your voice against a Seed is also unbecoming of you.”

“...... I apologize.”

“Both sides were in the wrong, so it should be fine to leave it at that. Any issues?” Seiken said. Then, he just quietly watched both trainees.

“None.”

“It’s fine with me.”

So neither side had complaints. “Very well. You two, better learn from this. Your punishment shall be to work together to clean this mess. Understood?”

——In short, Seiken let them all go scot-free.

Both boys immediately agreed and saluted their instructor. Seiken gave them a pleased smile and, with that matter settled, he turned his gaze towards Akeru instead. “Good job mediating.”

“Oh, I couldn't simply stand aside as a Court Raven in the same faction as Yukiya,” Akeru calmly answered in turn.

“I won’t deny that but,” Seiken continued with his usual smile, “I don't recommend bringing up house matters like that in the Monastery. It may have worked here, but it wasn't really your place to reveal Yukiya’s status like that.”

Akeru was clearly not used to getting any warnings from the instructors. His eyes widened, caught by surprise, before he frowned and looked up at Seiken in defiance.

“...... Instructor Seiken, who do you side with? The Animiya Faction, or Wakamiya's?”

Prompted by Akeru's question, Kimichika’s gaze became piercing. He wasn't the only one either—all the trainees in the hall turned towards Seiken at once. Yet the man didn't hesitate—not even for a second—, that faint smile of his unshaken. Not even a situation like this was enough to break through his usual gentle demeanor.

“There's not much meaning in such a question. Lord Natsuka has expressed his wish to serve His Highness Wakamiya, so I don’t think such factions are a good fit for the current state of affairs.”

“That's just officially, isn't it? In practice, the Imperial Court is divided into them.”

“Even if that's the case,” Seiken calmly looked at the increasingly emotional Akeru, “The Monastery is a facility to raise members of the Yamauchi Guard, those who shall serve the Imperial Family. It would be wrong to pay undue attention to factions or any hierarchy beyond that of the Golden Raven himself. Even if the person is part of the Imperial Family. Besides, first and foremost, I'm an instructor here at the Monastery.”

Seiken's tone was no different whatsoever from what he used during lessons. “Whatever the state of politics may be, my duty is to support this facility's trainees.” Akeru was left with no arguments, and Seiken gave him a concerned look. “If you obsess so much over what's going on outside, you'll miss what's happening around you. Do be careful.”

“——So? Can someone explain to me what's going on?” Ichiryuu asked, his eye twitching.

“Well, as Instructor Seiken told us to do, we were cleaning the dining hall until a moment ago. Kimichika left early despite being told to do it too, though. It's honestly already a miracle we received no real punishment, which is why we have no intention to tell on him, all things considered. It was truly lucky for us that it was Instructor Seiken,” Shigemaru replied.

“No, no, I don't care about that part,” Ichiryuu grumbled. “What I actually want to know is why exactly this room has an additional Seed now!”

There were actually three boys sitting squarely in front of the scowling Ichiryuu. Yukiya, Shigemaru—and Chihaya.

“Oh, that’s because of Kimichika! He was the one in charge of mentoring Chihaya, but he went and kicked him out of their room.”

He had been the cause of the entire incident, yet Chihaya ended up being completely ignored midway through. As Shigemaru was painfully aware they had just made matters worse for him, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore his plight.

“As long as we make it in time for the morning roll call, I've heard that the instructors don't care what we do outside of lessons. Sapling Ichiryuu, he truly has nowhere to go. Won't you let him remain here in the tenth room with us?”

“No freaking way. The room is already tiny as-is, and you're asking me for permission to make it worse?” The main interested party, Chihaya, kept up his glum silence in a corner of the room, unwilling to cooperate. Meanwhile, the obviously dissatisfied Ichiryuu was at his wit’s end, holding his head. “Don't you get it? Mind to remember that due to your size, Shigemaru, my own space is already reduced to only a quarter of the entire? I'm a Sapling, I'm not supposed to have so little space to sleep!”

“Don't be so stingy! You're our senior, right?”

“Then tell me, juniors, who exactly are the ones forcing their senior to go through such a humiliation?”

“We just have to take the partition screen away, don't we?” Yukiya said, a rather blatant attempt to poke fun at him.

“No fucking way,” Ichiryuu growled in response before, finally, covering his face with his hands. “Besides, this entire mess was because of Kimichika, right? I told you not to get involved with him! I knew it already, somehow, but I see you truly don't listen to what I say,” Ichiryuu lamented to himself.

“Is Kimichika unpopular even among the Saplings?” Shigemaru asked him.

“Huh? Ah, yes……” Ichiryuu responded bitterly. “There are rumors that he only passed last year's trial because some instructor with ties to the South is playing favorites with him. His personality is awful and he's as dumb as a brick, so nobody outside his circle of Southern people likes him. He’s somewhat strong though, I’ll give him that.”

“Stronger than you, Sapling Ichiryuu?”

“Cut it out! Anyway, he's someone who you would expect to get kicked out because of his personality alone.”

That kind of insolent behavior was a constant of his and he was always surrounded by his own Southern followers, according to Ichiryuu. Taking care of their own trays after dinner was a rule that applied to everyone, be it instructor or trainee. Kimichika’s disrespect for the rules was, ultimately, the actual source of the problem.

——Disregarding the Monastery's rules was a massive issue in itself, so the house he came from didn't even matter. At that moment, just as that thought crossed his mind, Shigemaru happened to remember something else—the real identity of the boy sitting right beside him, Yukiya.

“Actually, now that we’re talking about that—so you were an actual young master,” Shigemaru nonchalantly said to him.

“Wait a moment!” Yukiya, on the other hand, panicked all of a sudden. “I didn’t lie per se when I said I was from Taruhi. It's just—my birth mother is from the Northern House. That's all! So, you see……” Yukiya's voice started to fizzle out until it completely died off. He looked at Shigemaru with an upwards gaze. “Are you angry?”

From the looks of it, Yukiya was genuinely scared of his reaction.

“Why would I be?” Shigemaru, puzzled, asked back. “I said it before, remember? I have no intention to judge others over the circumstances of their birth. If I hated you simply because you're a noble, then I wouldn't be any different from Kimichika, would I?”

“Shige!” Yukiya exclaimed. The boy was oddly yet clearly moved by his words and, to Shigemaru, that made for quite the amusing reaction.

“Ah, but don't ask me to treat you with that kind of respect after all this time. It won't happen,” Shigemaru took his chance to tease him.

“Who would say an idiotic thing like that!?” Yukiya shouted. “I'm actually glad to hear that.”

“And I thought you would say so! So, business as usual for us.”

After spectating the entire conversation with plain concern in his eyes, Ichiryuu finally sighed in relief. With that problem solved, he instead turned his head slightly, glancing at Chihaya, who hadn't uttered a word ever since he had arrived.

“...... Well, if there's no alternative, fine. Listen, Chihaya, I don't mind if you spend the nights here, but you better not cause any further issues. No fights and, please, let's coexist in peace.” Otherwise, Ichiryuu’s utter failure as a mentor would catch even the instructors’ attention.

However, Chihaya's answer was as blunt as it was cold. “I refuse.”

At first, Ichiryuu wasn't able to grasp what Chihaya had just said.

“W-What?” His voice shook. He hadn’t said anything strange as the room's senior, it could even be said to have been the absolute bare minimum. Why would Chihaya refuse like that? He couldn’t figure it out.

“Chihaya?” Yukiya too called out to him.

In the meantime, Chihaya’s sharp eyes were fixed dangerously on Ichiryuu and Yukiya.

“You and the runt. You're nobles, right?”

“Even if you call us nobles… Yukiya aside, I'm just from the rural nobility,” a stunned Ichiryuu answered.

“Then you have horses.”

“Eh? Well, yes.”

A Township Lord's residence couldn't even begin to function without horses. It would greatly affect the officers’ work. Shigemaru had visited the Shimaki Lord’s residence once, and he remembered seeing some impressive stables there. He truly doubted Taruhi was in any way different. It was all simply a given, yet Chihaya's gaze got even colder once he heard that.

“I hate Court Ravens. We can't get along then.” He glared at them, all stunned into silence, before rushing to the exit and leaving the room altogether.

“Wait, Chihaya!” Yukiya tried to follow after him, but Shigemaru quickly stopped him.

Once he got him to stop, Shigemaru turned towards a shocked Ichiryuu and deeply bowed his head. “I'm sorry, senior, but could you wait for a bit?”

“Wait, why are you apologizing in the first place?”

“As a fellow Hill Raven, it’s not as if I can't understand how he feels. Would you leave this to me?”

Unlike Court Raven, Hill Raven was often used to talk about commoners in a derogatory way. Making a point out of using those words in specific was apparently enough for Ichiryuu to get the gist of the problem. There was clear tension on his face as he gave him a still dazed nod.

“——Fine, I'll leave it to you. Bring him back here immediately.”

“Thank you.” Shigemaru took his ornamented blade and flew out of the room.

It didn’t take him long to find Chihaya. He was right behind the building, sitting with his back against the wall. The light leaking from the inside dimly illuminated him, and there was a small bundle of belongings at his feet. Kimichika had thrown it at him when he kicked him out. It was all of Chihaya’s luggage, a shockingly small amount even for a commoner.

“..... Both Ichiryuu and Yukiya were at a loss.” Shigemaru called out to him as he made sure to keep his distance. Chihaya glanced at him for a second, before dropping his gaze back to the ground.

“I don't care.”

“Well, you should be a bit more humble if you plan to secure a place to sleep. Don't tell me you plan to pass the night out here?”

“That was the idea, yes.”

“Wait, wait—are you for real?”

Shigemaru had been fully intending to bring Chihaya back to the tenth room, yet he had never imagined Chihaya was truly planning to sleep outside otherwise. After thinking for a while, Shigemaru leaned on the wall by Chihaya’s side with enough space between them that it was impossible to reach the other even if they extended their arms.

“I doubt Yukiya and Ichiryuu have ever considered how much the Yatagarasu who end up as horses must truly hate it, you know,” Shigemaru mused as he looked up to the sky.

There was the waning moon, floating dimly over the dormitories’ lined up roofs. Soft moonlight shone over the persimmon trees, already covered in young green leaves, leaving shadows all over the ground. Shigemaru inhaled deeply—the air was different now than when they had first joined. One could feel the approaching summer in it.

“....... And, if you think about it, the most likely reason they can't imagine it at all is because they haven't ever mistreated one, right?”

He heard Chihaya quietly laugh at his side. “If that’s enough for them to ignore the problem, isn't that more cruel than actual mockery?”

“Maybe it is,” Shigemaru felt Chihaya relaxing beside him, so he intentionally employed a nonchalant tone as he spoke. “You know, during a famine long ago, my grandpa on my mother's side was left with no options to survive. He refused to sell my mom to the Red Light District, so he chose to become a horse for the local landlord. I wouldn’t have even been born if he hadn't made that sacrifice.”

Chihaya didn't say a word in answer, but he changed his pose. He was listening to what Shigemaru had to say. “He made the decision himself, so he turned into quite the well-behaved horse. It seems his owners were very gentle with him too, so much so that the entire family took personal care of him in his last moments. Is it cruel? Yes, maybe, but I'm glad my grandpa wasn't whipped or didn’t have to suffer unnecessarily at least. I would rather have it that way.”

“...... He protected his daughter.”

Chihaya was still very much a man of few words, but Shigemaru nevertheless understood what he meant—that he found his grandpa admirable.

“Thank you,” Shigemaru softly laughed. “If I had to make a guess, both Yukiya and Ichiryuu are ‘good owners’ as well and haven't ever had a family member become a horse. They're nice people, but I very much doubt there's any fixing that. There are things you can't truly understand until you experience them yourself.”

Chihaya didn’t speak at all, but he made a point out of his own lack of reaction.

“But, even if that’s the case, I think it would also be your loss to reject them altogether over that. Just as we cannot become Court Ravens because we want to, it’s not like they have ever experienced the life of a Hill Raven either,” Shigemaru stretched as he said that. “I’m fine if we don't understand each other perfectly. I don’t care for the kind of person who will force said understanding. You know, what actually matters to me is whether they comprehend that there's no reason to ridicule or look down on others over the world they live in.”

“So you’re saying I should remain silent to the Court Ravens’ abuse?” Chihaya spouted sarcastically.

“No way!” Shigemaru laughed. “Mock those small-minded enough to accept only their own worldviews all you want. But if you sneer at people just because they happen to be Court Ravens, you aren’t really any different from them.”

Finally, Chihaya sighed weakly, his eyes still fixed on his feet. “I'll keep that in mind.”

“Good, that should be enough.”

They stayed there for a long while. Shigemaru gazed at the night sky and Chihaya at the ground, his arms crossed inside his sleeves.

“...... People like family to me were falsely accused of stealing. They had their legs cut. The son of the landlord at the farm they worked at was the actual perpetrator,” Chihaya murmured.

“I see,” was Shigemaru’s only response. Chihaya probably meant the third leg that appeared in bird form, given the context.

——Someone close to Chihaya was falsely incriminated and Disarticulated.

While those who became horses by contract had their third leg bound with a special cord by their owners, and they couldn't transform back to human form without permission, there was no going back for those who had their leg cut, their other form forever out of reach.

For the first time since their conversation had started, Chihaya raised his head to look at Shigemaru.

“Don't—”

“Say anything, right? I won't, don't worry. I'll wait until you're ready to tell them yourself.”

“Will that day ever come?”

While Chihaya seemed to have no such expectations, Shigemaru nodded with full confidence. “It will. At the very least, I believe so.”

Next: Akeru (Part 1)

—————————————

1: Sanpaku eyes or three whites eyes (三白目) refer to cases in which the sclera around the iris is also visible (be it under, over or both) due to it being comparatively tiny.

2: The time measurement here is actually done in koku (刻). Historically, koku has meant many things, with a day being divided differently depending on time period and area. Probably the most well known form of koku has night and day divided in 6 koku each, for a total of 12 koku, each one named after one of the animals of the chinese zodiac. While, in practice, this meant the length of a koku changed depending on the time of the year and whether it was a night koku or a day koku, the overall average length would be that of two of our modern hours. As far as I know, this and koku-as-half-an-hour are the most well-known standards, but due to pure narrative logic I'm interpreting the koku in Yamauchi as 12-koku-a-day. Finishing dinner and cleaning in 15 minutes for so many people is unrealistic.

3: Once more, ancient forms of measurement are used here. In this case, it's the Ken (間). Unlike the Koku and its flexible nature, a Ken is precisely 1,818 meters.

4: Rokon is what we would call a 'dharma name' (戒名), which are either given to buddhist monks after taking their vows or, within japanese culture at least, given to the dead posthumously. The first category is the one that applies here. This is also the case for other characters who have taken vows like, for example, Natsuka. The men aside, Masuho no Susuki most likely got a dharma name as well once she became a nun, but as she uses her alias or karina (仮名) we never get to learn about it. As one would expect of a setting based on the Heian era, when one could say Zen Buddhism was most influential, a lot of details are affected by it.

#Translation: The Raven of the Empty Coffin #yatagarasu #yatagarasu series #the raven does not choose its master #karasu wa aruji wo erabanai

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maxdibert · 22 days ago

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But my point is that if a powerful group of individuals show personal prejudice then it simply must translate to systematic oppression. (When this group is so influential in society) Because that's how it works in real life. I just don't understand why you think that muggleborns aren't oppressed in any way when that is a pretty correct and obvious assumption based on the story and themes we got.

I get what you’re saying, but the issue isn’t that Muggleborns are or not oppressed—it’s that Rowling fails to build a convincing system of discrimination against them in the first place. Unlike with the house-elves, giants, or werewolves, where there’s clear systemic oppression and a tangible social reality where they’re treated as subhuman, that level of institutionalized inequality just isn’t present for Muggleborns in canon.

With house-elves, we see them enslaved and denied any semblance of agency. Giants are forced into hiding and hunted to near extinction. Werewolves like Lupin are shown being legally barred from work, ostracized from society, and treated as inherently dangerous. These groups have explicit, system-supported oppression written into their stories. In contrast, Muggleborns face prejudice from a vocal minority of elitist purebloods, but there’s no evidence of a wider social or institutional structure that enforces this prejudice.

In fact, the magical system actively integrates Muggleborns. They attend Hogwarts and they can work in the Ministry or other wizarding professions without legal barriers. There’s no suggestion that they’re paid less, denied opportunities, or systematically mistreated within magical society. Prejudice from individuals like Malfoy or even a sense of superiority from “good” characters like Arthur Weasley doesn’t translate into systemic discrimination against Muggleborns.

Rowling’s failure to address this is especially glaring when compared to the very real and visible oppression of non-human magical beings. The story never explores the disparity between the relatively mild prejudice Muggleborns face and the much harsher treatment of house-elves, giants, and werewolves. There’s no acknowledgment in the narrative that Muggleborns actually have a privileged position compared to these groups—they’re fully human, with all the rights and protections that come with that.

So, while it might be tempting to assume that personal prejudice from powerful purebloods automatically creates systemic oppression, that assumption isn’t backed by the text. The real problem here is that Rowling failed to build a coherent and realistic system of Muggleborn discrimination. Instead, she gave us a minority of bigoted characters and left it at that.

#Harry potter meta #Harry potter analysis #JK Rowling #JK Rowling critic #Harry potter #Harry potter fandom #muggleborns #muggles #purebloods #politics #Harry potter politics

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delawaredetroit · 10 months ago

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Are you still a dfo truther? If so, why?

I'm not counting it out just because the body that All for One was eventually planning on discarding anyway is dead. The naysayers are taking too early a victory lap on that one. That said, if it does happen, this Deku vs Shigaraki fight is the last place where it feasibly could happen. There's no way All for One's vestige isn't making another appearance regardless considering his plotlines with Yoichi and Shigaraki have not been resolved.

Why do I think it's still possible? Because Horikoshi usually carefully plans the names of his characters. And it's odd that an ordinary businessman would have a name meaning leader and "a long time"/"eternal" when that sure matches the goals of the manga's villain who basically wants to be reborn in a new body so he can rule the world (and have Yoichi under his thumb). It's weirder when the alleged son in this theory has a name that includes a character that can be read "to be born" and the exact same a long time/eternal character. (Especially when unlike any of his classmates, he is the only one with both parents' names introduced where his name only has influence from one parent)

Also, it's because the themes between Izuku and Shigaraki currently feel incomplete. And they would feel more complete if this fight was also about the villain born from heroic origins versus the hero born from villainous origins. Touya, the villain character Shigaraki has the most parallels with, already has one of these in Hawks. And like Izuku and Shigaraki, those two are some of the only ones that really play with the visuals of angelic looking villains versus demonic looking heroes. All for One said that heroes/villains used to receive their "names" based on what their enemy called them - so it would make sense if what remained of All for One was defeated once and for all by those he has named. Izuku is the odd one out in this fight if dfo theory isn't true if he didn't receive a name from All for One like Shigaraki and Yoichi.

The general impression I get from people who hate this theory is that they don't want Izuku to not be an ordinary person or intended for some special destiny. And I'm ????? about that because I think these people have bought Izuku's unreliable narrative about himself hook, line, and sinker. Again, that "ordinary" interpretation goes against the actual reading of Izuku's name. Second of all, I have no idea what people are smoking to have interpreted the guy who knowingly and repeatedly breaks his bones like they're glow sticks as the most normal guy. Even before One for All - Izuku wasn't "normal" - he was part of a minority group and faced discrimination for being quirkless.

The second impression I get from naysayers is that DFO theorists are wrong because their characterizations of All for One and Inko are way off. To that I say - the original Dabi=Touya theorists were almost all way off about Touya's personality/motivations - but their conclusion was still correct. There's also more potential evidence to back up DFO theory now than there was to support the Dabi is a Todoroki theory at the time of that reveal.

At a minimum, if this theory turns out not to be true, there's enough bread crumbs left by Horikoshi that he was clearly trying to steer people into thinking there was a connection here. So am I sure it will be canon: no. Is there still a good chance it could still happen: yes.

#dfo #dad for one #all for one #afo #midoriya izuku #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki yoichi #todoroki touya #dabi #takami keigo #hawks #there you go: a potential reading of why dfo could be canon without ever mentioning star wars #mainly bc i've never seen star wars #asks #bnha manga spoilers

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emblemxeno · 7 months ago

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Honestly it's really funny that the recent discourse I was unwillingly embroiled in revolved around stuff like power hierarchies and racial biases in written works, cuz my English Studies class in uni tackled this exact same stuff.

And I don't wanna be like "well my college said this so obviously I'm correct", but what I will say is that R*xis and his weirdo clique would be looked at weird were they in that class lol.

For example, some of the things we talked about after just a few weeks was hegemon powers enforcing their views and perspective onto the people as a new status quo and how that's Not Good™️, and also how the ideas of merit-based power structures and "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" is a hinderance to progress as it puts the onus of responsibility on to the oppressed to escape their own oppression. We discussed all of this because most of the literature we looked at was by black and non-black critics of white supremacy, class structure, and generational wealth. We even looked over the Civil Rights Act and the Housing Discrimination Act to prove points about this.

Claude being written to support Edelgard's ideals not only makes him look worse in a writing sense, but also in a moral, racial, and political sense. He supports what's equivalent to a Booker T. Washington way of thinking when he supports Edelgard in Hopes. He lacks his curiosity, perspective, and unwavering belief in treasuring life in Hopes, character traits that he not only was explicitly shown to have brought with him from Almyra (i.e. BEFORE THE ACADEMY), but were also developed as a result of him being of mixed race. I rake 3H over the coals for its attempts and failures at tackling racial dynamics and oppression in its storytelling, but Claude-for the most part-was relatively unscathed. Then Hopes came and made everything worse.

So, historically in both the FE series and the real world, what Edelgard does is for the worst, and making Claude support that without question is not only a slap in the face for fans of his 3H characterization, but a slap in the face for the first brown main character in the FE series.

#fire emblem discourse #edelgardiscourse #i could try to remember my other notes from that class on just how literature and politics of the time period intertwined #but my pettiness isn't that big that I want to sift through my notebooks for them lol #claude von riegan #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #fe3h

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saintsenara · 8 months ago

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Weird question but do you think the centaurs SAd umbridge in ootp? It kinda feels like it’s written that way and it’s pretty disturbing tbh

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

the spoiler alert is that i don't - i think the series' approach to sexual violence leaves a great deal to be desired, but i don't think this is one of those cases - but obviously this discussion does come with a trigger warning for rape and is under the cut.

i know where this interpretation comes from - since a huge amount of the classical greek mythology surrounding centaurs is based in the idea that they rape human women - and i also know that the series' general view that any violence which happens to someone who "deserves" it is fine means that readers consider it plausible that jkr would have thought it acceptable for umbridge to be subjected to such a "punishment"...

and the text certainly can be read as showing the aftermath of a sexual assault:

All six of them looked around. Professor Umbridge was lying in a bed opposite them, gazing up at the ceiling. Dumbledore had strode alone into the forest to rescue her from the centaurs. How he had done it - how he had emerged from the trees supporting Professor Umbridge without so much as a scratch on him - nobody knew, and Umbridge was certainly not telling. Since she had returned to the castle she had not, as far as any of them knew, uttered a single word. Nobody really knew what was wrong with her either. Her usually neat mousy hair was very untidy and there were bits of twig and leaf in it, but otherwise she seemed to be quite unscathed. “Madam Pomfrey says she’s just in shock,” whispered Hermione. “Sulking, more like,” said Ginny. “Yeah, she shows signs of life if you do this,” said Ron, and with his tongue he made soft clip-clopping noises. Umbridge sat bolt upright, looking wildly around. “Anything wrong, Professor?” called Madam Pomfrey, poking her head around her office door. “No... no...” said Umbridge, sinking back into her pillows, “no, I must have been dreaming...” Hermione and Ginny muffled their laughter in the bedclothes.

but i think its actual intention is for us to take ginny's reading of the situation as the correct one.

the series likes to punish its bad characters for their bad deeds with a punishment connected to their defining flaw. lockhart - the epitome of grasping narcissism - is felled when he believes that he'll be able to perfectly cast a memory charm, too convinced of his own brilliance to notice that ron's wand is broken and the spell will backfire. fudge - a coward who's obsessed with his own public image - is forced from office when his year-long burying his head in the sand is revealed and the public turn on him. marietta edgecombe - a traitor, and a character jkr is on the record as loathing - is punished for wanting to remove the risk of negative attention falling on her and her family by having her crimes, quite literally, written on her face.

bellatrix is taken out by her arrogance, wormtail is taken out by his moral insubstantiality, and - of course - voldemort is taken out by his attempts to outrun both love and death.

what the series hates about umbridge is that she is the encapsulation of bureaucratic bigotry - she's someone who is obsessed with maintaining control and order by subjecting everything in her life to elaborate rules, she values the rigidity of social convention, and she is completely intolerant of anything which contradicts this rule-system. her ruthless discrimination against "half-breeds" is because she wants to confine things she fears or doesn't understand into rigid boxes - she doesn't want to risk discovering that a colleague she likes is a werewolf, because that would undermine the belief system she upholds, and so she removes that threat to herself by passing legislation which prevents werewolves from working alongside her.

her punishment for these crimes - in the series' world-view - must therefore directly relate to her prejudices, and - specifically - to her prejudices being wrong. it wouldn't do for her to be raped by creatures she considers subhuman, because this would justify her belief that centaurs [and werewolves, mermaids, goblins etc.] are savage beasts who will violate wizarding norms at every opportunity, and who, therefore, need to be subjected to violent wizarding control.

it makes more sense to suppose that she is subjected to something she would find it impossible to deny was "civilised" - i imagine, for example, that centaurs have their own legal system, and that she is dragged off to stand before the assembled community and have something which she can meaningfully recognise as a trial - and that her shock and disorientation is because her conviction that she'd be brutally attacked by a group she considers incapable of restraining or governing themselves did not turn out to be true.

and she is also, i think, supposed to be read as affected by the fact that dumbledore - whose authority she has been trying to eradicate from the school - is the person who rescues her, and who achieves through his commitment to [ostensibly] respecting centaur autonomy far more authority over them than the ministry does.

her humiliation, then, comes - in the text's eyes - from the fact that her hypocrisy has been utterly exposed. and so ginny is right to say that she's "sulking" as a way of trying to save face.

#asks answered #asenora meta #dolores umbridge

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ttaibhse · 2 months ago

Note

do you support trans people?

let's just assume youre asking this in good faith despite this being an extremely vague question that doesn't really ask anything specific lol. so i'll give you answers to a few different interpretations of it and you can let me know if i've missed any that you're especially concerned about 👍

oh and bear in mind the context that i have transitioned medically and lived as both stealth ftm and openly trans/nonbinary and have experienced being trans first person 🙏

do i support trans people's right to live safe and happy lives free from harrassment and discrimination? yes, of course

do i support trans people's right to present themselves however they want to? yes, of course

do i use the correct names and pronouns of trans people that i interact with in real life? of course!

do i believe people when they tell me their gender identity? sure. i have experienced gender dysphoria lol. i get it

do i support trans people's right to good healthcare? yes of course

do i support adult's decisions to transition medically? if they have ACTUAL full informed consent, sure. many many MANY people are not being provided with FULL, INFORMED consent before opting for medical transition. this is not their fault.

do i think it's irresponsible and stupid to tout medical transition as a risk free, reversible, totally harmless way to experiment with gender? yes

do i think any of this should mean that women should scrupulously monitor their language and behaviour at all times to make sure that no one might possibly feel excluded or offended by anything at all? no

am i personally going to walk on eggshells with the language i use to avoid being called names online when anyone with a working brain knows exactly what i'm talking about? no

am i going to police my own presence online to make sure i'm not interacting even remotely with any bloggers who might have different or even distasteful beliefs or opinions to my own? no

do i think the existence of people with gender dysphoria and people who choose to reject binary gender labels and/or whatever other interpretations you might have of any variety of trans identities means that biological sex is suddenly somehow irrelevant and should be ignored? no

do i think that ANYONE AT ALL AT ANY TIME, regardless of identity, has the right to sexual access to women's bodies? no

do i think that any woman should be obliged to date or have sex with anyone she doesn't want to date or have sex with, for any reason at all, including to make that person feel validated? no

do i think that trans women face the same struggles and experiences with misogyny as cis women? no

do i think that you're being wilfully stupid if you claim these two groups of people are indistinguishable? yes

do i think women should have to prioritise the feelings and sensibilities of any other group, even marginalised groups, over their own safety in the face of being raped/forcefully impregnated/abused/killed by men? no <3

anon as ive said before, you're welcome to make your own decisions about me based on these answers & the content of my blog. you can ask me more questions if you want. but i'm not going to give any black and white sweeping statement answers to appease random anonymous tumblr users and i'm not going to pretend i don't see, experience, and understand material reality. i'm not going to pretend that women aren't my priority lol. i'm not going to pretend that i care that much about being careful to use inclusive language instead of just saying "women" and "men". if that's your priority then that's great for you but it's not mine and it doesn't have to be lol

#faq

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pyjamaart · 6 months ago

Text

Firewall!

(A warning before we start with this essay: This got really really long. So sorry about that. I also wrote this before watching a lot of the later episodes again, so if I get any facts wrong, assume I realize and correct my mistakes over the course of this monstrous dissertation on Mega Man Fully Charged. I also included some more pictures down there! Have fun reading! Also TW for implied self harm, but it's really mild this time.)

Hey everyone, welcome back to the next episode of "Mega Man essays with Jenny"! Oh hey, would you look at that, the essay even comes with a little picture attached to it. ;)

This time, the title of this piece was also inspired by a song. I recently discovered the band TWRP. Their newest album, "Digital Nightmare" is a must-listen for all robot enjoyers such as myself. It's really really good. "Firewall" is a song that immediately made me think of Fireman and Waveman. Fireman building up a wall and not letting anyone get close, only for Waveman to come by and break it apart with a wrecking ball of love? Truly beautiful.

With that out of the way... I'm glad I finally get to talk about these two, since I didn't get the opportunity to write something about them on my last few posts. I gotta say that some of my headcanons for them kinda build onto the stuff from my first few posts, so if you haven't read them yet... Now's your chance to do that.

Time to analyze some episodes!

Let's start at the very beginning with episode 1 and 2, most people's first exposure to the series and also Firemans debut:

Fireman used to work as a welder, but lost that job after he caused some property damage at the construction site. He also almost pushed his HR guy off the roof, but only after he insulted him, telling him he should be a fry cook if he can't do his job properly. So after facing workplace discrimination and getting fired (pun not intended) because he retaliated in a pretty bad way, Fireman joined Lord Obsidian, who for sure offered him some way to get revenge on all the ignorant humans who only see him and all the other robots as tools to use.

Headcanon time! I honestly don't think Fireman caused the damage on purpose, I actually imagine him to be quite diligent, hardworking and reliable. The perfect worker one could say, if it weren't for his terrible anger issues. He probably had a particularly bad day back then. The HR guy insulting the abilities he had honed over years of honest work was probably the last straw for him.

Another headcanon is that he's so massively pissed off every time we see him because Lord Obsidian just keeps stoking the flames, by which I mean, he's just continuously insulting him while keeping him in check with his giant mech suit. Fireman just can't catch a break. And because he's so stressed out and irritated all the time, he let's that anger out on innocent (puny) humans. But as you probably know, he gets better later on in the show.

After watching that first episode again, Fireman also seems to care a lot about his personal space, as he angrily yells at Aki to get off after he climbs on his back to get a hold of his schematics easier. While on top of his tank, he also tells Fireman that he's got a lot of issues and to see someone about that. I mean, we knew that already. He also tells him to take up yoga or something.

On to episode 2. And oh man, Sgt. Night really told Fireman to wreak havoc in the city so that he can spread his anti-robot propaganda among the panicking townsfolk, with a speech that sounds as if he practiced it in front of a mirror the night before. At that point in time, the viewer doesn't even know who Lord Obsidian is, neither do they know that he and Sgt. Night are the same person. Night is probably riling Fireman up on purpose, since he already knows about his fiery temper, hoping that one or two injured humans may be enough to throw the town into disharmony again, or even better, start another war between humans and robots.

After shenanigans ensue and Aki, his family and Sgt. Edgelord vanish down a manhole cover, Fireman visibly struggles to get it open with his torch arms. A problem he has in common with Drillman, who's also missing his hands. But I've already talked enough about Drillman and his personal problems on my other post. Maybe he and Fireman bonded a little over their shared plight, even though the red bot doesn't let it affect him as much as Drillman. For Waveman, my personal headcanon is that he actually has at least one retractable hand, as in, he can replace his blaster or his harpoon with a hand at any time, just like Mega Man can with his arm cannon. There is a reason for that, which I'll explain when we get to episode 12.

Skipping forward a bit, at the very end of the episode, when the Lights and all the school kids (human and robot alike) surround Sgt. Night to protect him from Firemans wrath and show him the power of love and friendship, we find out that Firemans main goal was to burn that big robot racist to a crisp. All the other humans would have just been collateral damage, lol.

Now here start the questions. It's been a while since I've watched these two episodes. So color me surprised when in the last few seconds, as Fireman is carefully tiptoeing into Lord Obsidians office, his personality completely flipped from when he was fighting Mega Man in the city, Sgt. Night just sits there in the chair with his whole human mug out. I thought the bots didn't know he was a human???? Wasn't that the whole point of the season finale??????? Well, he was sitting in complete darkness, so I don't know. I'll need to investigate this further...

Pausing that line of thought for a second, let's continue with episode 5, otherwise known as Wavemans debut episode.

Compared to Fireman, Waveman has his very own bundle of problems to deal with. As we come to know over the course of the episode, the guy has some extreme attachment issues. And also an extreme fixation on cleanliness. In a desperate search for his only friend, he's giving the city a nice makeover along the way. Even if that makeover includes flooding a dozen basements and costing the city millions in infrastructure damage. Compared to the other robot masters we've seen this far, Wavemans powers are by far the most powerful and destructive. If his powers weren't so dependent on his current emotional state, Lord Obsidian would have a terrifying bot on his side. (I'll come back to that thought later) Sadly for him, this is Waveman we're talking about. The same guy who got beaten up and thrown into jail by a literal dog.

Speaking of animals, Waveman seems to have a huge soft spot for them, immediately stopping his hostile behavior towards Mega Man when he spots Rush next to him. This is also the point where we get to know that "his only friend" that he's been trying to find for the entire episode is a literal alligator he found in the sewers.

At the very end of the episode, when Waveman is already behind bars in the police cruiser, he and the viewer actually catch one last glimpse at Alligator (that's the name he decided to give it.), who's randomly wearing a top hat, monocle and holding a walking cane. It shakes its head at Waveman disappointingly and then jumps back down into the sewers it came from. I'm gonna be ignoring its sudden fancy getup.

Knowing Waveman, the true story of his alligator friend was probably a little different from the one he told Aki. I firmly believe that he found the little guy injured and/or starving and nursed it back to health. So far, so good. Any normal person would have released an animal like this back into the wild, or at least given it into the care of a wildlife rescue organization. But not Waveman. He must have been really, and I mean REALLY lonely if he came to the conclusion that he should keep an alligator as a pet to combat that loneliness. The alligator probably "got lost" on purpose, as I can imagine that Waveman must have been pretty overbearing regarding his only friend. That poor little bot. If he just had someone to give all his affection to...

And with that we're back to Fireman, who graces us with his presence once again just one episode later, in the sixth one. In the first few seconds, he already drops a bombshell on Aki (and us), as he reveals that he's actually seeing a robot therapist to work on his anger problems. Good for him. He also really took Akis advice to heart and started doing yoga as well. Fireman might be the only robot in this series who's actively trying to work on his problems.

The things he says in this episode are a little worrying though: Opposite to Sgt. Nights anti robot propaganda, Fireman is constantly trash-talking humans in this episode, trying and failing to convince Aki to join the "right side". The phrases he uses sound to me as if they were made up by Lord Obsidian and Fireman is just repeating them mindlessly.

And with that, we've finally reached episode 12, the long awaited Fireman/Waveman special. As you may know, Waveman and Fireman are the only robot masters who had the privilege of sharing an episode (If we forget about the finale and the few one hit wonder scenes later on for a minute), which may be one of the reasons a lot of people ship them in the first place. I am one of them, lol. I mean, the episode is literally titled "Opposites Attract", like come on.

From the moment they first interact, it's not looking good for us Fire/Wave truthers, since they can't exchange a single word without insulting each other or shooting each other in the face with their blasters. I have a suspicion that their animosity is mostly fueled by their current terrible living and working conditions. They both know that in the case their assigned mission fails, their asses are toast. Episode 2 already established that Fireman is scared of Lord Obsidian. And if the biggest, baddest bot out of the bunch gets all skittish whenever he's in the presence of his employer/benefactor (Was it ever established if they get paid for this? Or if they get anything else in return except maybe a shitty warehouse to stay in?), it's not looking good for the rest of these robots. Most of all Waveman, who's already emotionally unstable to begin with.

This episode is set up in a way that Fireman and Waveman act as a sort of foil to Aki and Suna, who are also having a fight about their differing opinions at the same time. After the two siblings split up and try to deal with the problem at hand on their own, the scene shifts back to the two bots, with Waveman actually trying to bury the hatchet, calling Fireman "friend" and helping him calm down a little by getting him to do breathing exercises with him. Fireman appreciates this gesture, but immediately gets stressed again because Waveman isn't tuning his machine fast enough for his liking.

Speaking of this machine... It has a very similar color scheme and pattern to the water bot, so it's probably safe to assume that Waveman is the one responsible for building it. That's why I think he actually has retractable hands. How else could he have built this giant, highly complex machine? How does he even know how to construct things like this?? One more fact to add to the "Waveman is secretly really capable" list. Or he just stole the thing from his old job. I dunno.

One skipped Rush scene later, Suna is beginning to clog the pipe the two robots used to drain the lake with junk she found lying around, agitating Waveman, who then says (And I quote): "Hey! She's- she's touching my machine! Oh, I hate it when people touch my machine... E- except for you, new friend." He says that last part while looking back at Fireman with a goofy expression on his face. It's so damn cute. He's just so happy to finally have a friend that isn't a wild animal! (Well...) The feeling doesn't seem to be mutual quite yet, as Fireman is still sporting the same sour expression he had before.

Now this next thing was just thanks to my impeccable hearing. The first time I watched Fully Charged, I did so in my living room, lying around on the couch while my TV was on the other side of the room. The actual line Waveman says after they get interrupted by Mega Man is "We got this, Fireface!", which, yeah, makes a lot more sense than the thing I heard. I kid you not, I really thought I heard him say "We got this, Firebabe!". I was actually flabbergasted, scrambled for the remote and had to rewind the video. Kinda disappointed that he didn't really call Fireman his "babe", but whatever. Moving on.

Fireman isn't exactly happy about being called "Fireface", but Waveman just tells him that friends normally give nicknames to each other. He really could have picked a better one, though. Like... you know... Firebabe? No, I guess that would have just made him even angrier.

This scene also makes me think that Waveman is just a tiny bit overenthusiastic about making a new friend, trying to force Fireman out of his grumpy shell a little too fast for the red bots liking. (This will also come back later when I get into heavy headcanon territory.)

The next scene, where Waveman slides down the pump cable like freaking Shadow the Hedgehog and then flips around in the air like a star athlete, only to stick a perfect landing directly in front of the clogged pump is another piece of evidence to me that Waveman is just all in all a really badass, capable bot. If his emotions allow him to be, that is.

When he and Fireman reunite at the bottom of the drained lake, still trying to find Suna, Fireman returns the favor and also gives Waveman a nickname, though his one seems to be a little mean spirited, as he's slowly losing his patience with the water bot. Waveman is completely oblivious to Firemans cold attitude, calling him "chief" and complimenting his leadership skills. Even Suna is grossed out by Wavemans continuous (bad) attempts at flirting, which results in her saying the truly amazing line "Eugh, it's an evil robot love fest over there." Seeing Waveman try so hard to be Firemans friend is actually a little sad to watch, even more if you factor in the knowledge we uncovered in his debut episode. But lucky for him, Fireman is actually warming up to all the compliments, saying that he never imagined himself as a leader.

And now for the most homophobic moment in Mega Man history: As Suna and Aki finally make up, they hatch the ultimate plan to stop the two bots from completing their evil scheme: breaking up their newly blossomed friendship by riling them up against each other! Truly, truly evil of them. Tactically speaking it's a good plan, but ruining all that character growth that happened in the past two minutes just to stop this weeks evil scheme? Genuinely diabolical. As the two robots fight over who of them is in charge, Aki actually finds out for the first time that there is a "boss" controlling all these wayward robots.

Aaaaaalso huge lore drop: I didn't remember this fact from my first watch-through, but Fireman actually seems to be the guy who got Waveman on Lord Obsidians team of robot outcasts in the first place, i.e. breaking him out of prison for causing millions in property damages. He's reeeeaaaally holding that fact over Wavemans head in this scene. Their little fight gets broken up by Suna starting the pump once again, sucking both of them in and spitting them out over the skyscrapers and into the cloudy sky, where you can still hear Fireman cursing even after they've flown out of sight.

Post episode / headcanon time: While the two of them may spend most of the episode arguing due to their different personalities (and after the siblings tricked them into fighting again after they had actually began to tolerate each other), I firmly believe that since the episode ends on the note that people can still get along great even if they have very differing opinions and worldviews, they eventually get over their disagreement and make up. Maybe even start talking outside of their very important Obsidian-assigned missions. Maybe even become real, true friends.

But before we can even think of that happening, the two of them are still free falling over the city. Now the writers probably thought this Team-Rocket-esque takeoff was a fun little bit to end the episode on and most people wouldn't even think about what happens to them afterwards, since this is a god damn children's cartoon we're talking about and falls from great heights aren't taken very serious in this show in general, but I'm weird and I love overthinking stuff, so I thought of an aftermath to that scenario:

Metal is pretty heavy. So if a 1000 kilo robot like Fireman hits the concrete from 30 meters in the air, that's not gonna end well. He'd probably be reduced to a million tiny pieces. That's why I'm gonna throw them a bone and say that they crash-land in the forest, where their fall at least gets absorbed a little by the branches of the trees.

While they're getting launched through the air, Fireman is still cursing up a storm, thinking that this is gonna be the end of him. Waveman on the other hand spontaneously decides that he would rather die than let his new friend get hurt, so he grabs onto Fireman and just hopes for the best. They do thankfully land in a tree, so they at least don't get blasted to bits. Waveman breaks most of their fall, getting skewered by twigs on the way down and then crushed by the red bots bulky frame, but other than that, they're both okay.

As soon as he recovers from this near-death experience and once he realizes what just happened, the first thing Fireman does is angrily yell at the other robot next to him on the ground, but not out of anger, but out of genuine concern. What does he think he's doing? Why would he use his lanky little body to shield him from the fall? Is he insane???

Waveman meanwhile is just glad that they both got out of that situation kinda unharmed. He also immediately starts crying, but only because he's so touched at Firemans concern over him.

In the end, Fireman has to carry both himself and the other bot back to Lord Obsidian's shack for wayward robots, where they're probably gonna get an additional asskicking for failing their mission so spectacularly.

Headcanon scenario over. Let's carry on then...

Okay, now the next Waveman episode is number 21, but before that, we need to make a very important pit stop at episode 16, since it basically unravels half of my headcanons. So. It turns out the robot masters DO know that Lord Obsidian is a human. Then why are they following him??? Why are they surprised when it turns out that he wasn't just pretending to be a turbo robo-racist? They're all so freaking scared of him, Jesus Christ! In episode 19, Fireman is visibly shaking after Sgt. Night premieres his giant mech suit. Why are they following him? I know for a fact that Sgt. Night threatened Blastowoman into joining his side, but what about the others?

I mean, most of the robots Lord Obsidian recruited have no other place to go. Chemistryman lost his teaching job and was probably facing homelessness, same as Drillman, who was probably disowned by his father after trying to take revenge on Skyraisers Inc. Fireman was deemed unhirable after almost killing his HR guy, Waveman is literally a wanted criminal after flooding half the city and so on and so on. The only exception is probably Cutman, who just likes being evil for the lulz. (I'm joking)

So is this like one of these cults that you can't get out of once they have you in their hands? And even when you try to leave or show signs of disloyalty, you get endlessly harassed or even killed? (We'll come back to that last thought after we reach episode 43.) Okay, maybe I'm just interpreting way too much into this children's show once again. Now let's get into episode 21.

This is for the most part a Rush episode. The pooch gets some awesome new upgrades after almost getting turned into kibble by Lord Obsidian, so Aki and Suna spend the whole episode building a robot from scratch to help Rush overcome his fears. While they are hard at work, Waveman is just casually trying to flood the financial district. Kinda based of him. (His puns while he's being shown on TV are also fantastic. Aquaman could learn a thing or two from him.)

Aki and Suna ignore Rushs pleads for attention, so the brave little dog decides to go battle the aquatic robot master on his own.

While Rush is busy saving a kitty and some civilians falling off of roofs, Waveman is once again spinning and flipping around in the air and swinging around the houses with his harpoon like freaking Spiderman. God, he can be so awesome when he wants to be. After getting his ass bitten by Rush, he almost immediately gets distracted again because he just can't resist the doggo's adorableness, due to his already established weakness to cute animals. Or all animals, I guess. Alligators aren't exactly what I'd call cute...

He regains his senses and starts fighting back after Rush gets out his laser eyes, however. Unfortunately for Waveman, afterwards, he just gets thrown around like a rag doll for the rest of the episode. By a dog. And to add salt to the injury, after Rush flies him over into the waiting hands of the good guild, the police bots hang him upside down by the feet and pose with him like he's a particularly big fish they caught on a fishing trip. There's even a reporter taking pictures for the newspaper. Ouch.

This probably means Fireman had to break him out of prison again after this episode ends, but that shouldn't be a problem, since the good guild bots are hilariously bad at their jobs.

I imagine Lord Obsidian wasn't very pleased that one of his robots got himself beaten up so badly by Mega Mans pet dog on live television, so Fireman actually had to plead with his boss to keep his friend on the team at all. For all Sgt. Night cared, Waveman could have spent the rest of his life in prison. Thank god he's got Fireman on his side now. Anyway, carrying on...

In between this and the next Fireman episode (34), nothing really happens related to them, so I'm just gonna skip forward to one of my personal favorites of the show, "Fire Man in the Hole":

This episode takes place on and in a freaking active volcano, that's apparently right next to the city. Aki, Suna and Ashley are filming a documentary for a school project, but accidentally drop their camera down the title-giving hole. It lands right next to Fireman, who's powering up his fire powers with a machine created by Lord Obsidian, with the goal of heating up his flames to a high enough temperature to melt right through Dr. Lights doors. This is accomplished by somehow converting the lava into energy that turns Firemans flames blue and therefore much more dangerous.

The big bad boss warns Fireman not to go too far with the machine, as using it too much could cause the volcano to erupt. Somehow. You can tell he doesn't have any faith in Fireman, as he yells at him not to mess up again. You can visibly see the robots face dropping at the particularly emphasized "again".

After Aki jumps down into the volcano to search for their camera, Fireman can be seen using his newfound power completely recklessly, even disregarding his bosses orders. This is the first time in the series where he just openly disobeys Sgt. Night, possibly foreshadowing that he's had enough of being pushed around by the human. He repeats "And nobody can stop me!" three times in a row (the first two times Sgt. Night even hears him say it), before Mega Man comes around and does try to stop him. But not because he cares about his evil plan or anything like that, he simply wants the camera back to impress Ashley and Fireman happens to stand right next to it. The robot sees this as the perfect opportunity to try out his powered up blasters, so he gleefully moves the camera out of the way and tells Aki to fight him for it.

During their fight, you can clearly see that Fireman has gone mad with power, not even sparing one thought to the warning Sgt. Night gave him about the volcano erupting. He fires at Mega Man in reckless abandon, who desperately tries to plead with him and get him to calm down, but without avail. This destabilizes the walls around them even more, causing the lava to rise and stones to fall from the ceiling. A particularly big one eventually traps Aki, causing him to be unable to move, making Fireman celebrate his apparent victory.

He was completely on board with the idea of just leaving this poor robot child to boil alive in the erupting volcano, only stopping in his tracks after he realizes that there's no way for him to get out as well. After lamenting that no one told him this could happen (seriously?), Aki chimes in as well, saying that they were too busy fighting each other to notice the rising lava.

Fireman doesn't take this comment from Aki very well, yelling at him that he was doing totally fine until he showed up, basically blaming the kid for all the failures he suffered under Lord Obsidians command. The stress from the situation makes him break into an entire monologue, venting to Aki that all he wants is to make his boss proud for once in his life, yet all he does is fail him again and again. There's a scene at the end of his little montage of failures where he tries to cook something for Sgt. Night and all the robots on his team, but ends up burning the whole thing to a crisp right in front of their eyes. Thank god he didn't really end up becoming a fry cook. Because he would suck at that job too. (Too far, Jenny. Too far.)

The voice acting during this moment is impeccable, by the way. You can just hear Firemans frustration and anger at his own continuous failures come to a (literal) boiling point in this scene. After he finishes his tirade, he just let's himself down on the ground next to Aki, seemingly left with no hope and willing to spend his last moments with his greatest adversary, getting swallowed by the rising lava.

Our protagonist hasn't given up however. He tries to appeal to Fireman one last time, telling him that if they work together, they could still try to stop the volcano from erupting and save the city. After some convincing, the red bot eventually agrees to this, blasting away the rocks that were pinning Aki to the ground and helping him up.

As they're blasting the cave wall in a desperate attempt to redirect the flow of the lava, Fireman starts doubting himself again, saying that they're never gonna be able to do this before they get their feet melted off. The little blue bot is determined, though. He encourages Fireman and tells him to believe in himself, which eventually leads to them successfully breaking through the wall, saving not only themselves, but also the whole city.

Fireman visibly relaxes after this, even laughing and giving Aki a fist (blaster?) bump, glad that he finally did something right. Mega Man even praises him, saying that his boss might not be proud of him, but he sure is. You can tell that Fireman is completely taken aback by this, clearly not used to being complimented (Let's just disregard Waveman for a minute, who absolutely showers him with compliments every opportunity he gets), but he greatly appreciates this regardless, even if he doesn't show it. He kicks the camera they've been fighting over back to Aki and then leaves as quickly as he can, before any of them have to acknowledge what just happened between them.

This encounter probably planted a seed inside of Firemans processor. Why should he settle for someone like Obsidian, who doesn't appreciate a single thing he does? Who terrorizes him every single day of his life? Maybe, just maybe... The good side isn't so bad after all?

And with that lovely thought in our heads we finally get to Fireman's last canonical appearance, episode 43.

We start out in Dr. Lights lab, where he and Mega Man discuss the identity of the mysterious bot who's been bothering them for basically the entire season. Dr. Light brings up second chances and asks Mega Man to consider giving the little edgy guy another try to become a good bot. Even though he has only ever shown hostility to everyone he's ever interacted with. Oh well. But as Dr. Light goes on about second chances, the scene switches to the dark warehouse Sgt. Night and his bots call their home and Fireman storms inside the command center angrily.

If we compare this scene to some others from the first few episodes, you can immediately tell that Firemans entire attitude towards his boss has shifted completely. Instead of cowering away and keeping his voice low, in this scene he's just openly berating him, complaining that he and the other bots still don't know what his plan entails and that they're still just standing around talking to each other instead of actually doing something to take over the city.

Sgt. Night doesn't let these harsh words phase him, instead linking their stagnant efforts to Firemans incompetence. To say he doesn't take that well would be an understatement. But now, instead of just accepting this mistreatment and swallowing his pride, Fireman actually gets so mad that he charges at Sgt. Night, intending to attack him. He only gets stopped by his bosses (child) body guard, who loudly proclaims that Fireman will have to go through him first.

The fiery bot takes that as a challenge and announces his willingness to duel the other robot. Sgt. Night suddenly turns around, having just thought that a battle right in the middle of his office would make for good entertainment. And since he's grown tired of Firemans disobedience anyway, he probably thinks this is a good way to test out his child's fighting capabilities on someone other than Mega Man.

Before Namagem can even begin to shit-talk him, Fireman already hits him over the head with one of his blasters, officially starting their fight. The animation during this fight and in this episode in general are really freaking good. Man of Action living up to their name, finally.

After Sgt. Night lets out a cartoonishly evil laugh, Fireman and Namagem continue exchanging blows and insults, until one particularly heavy punch by the smaller bot sends Fireman flying up into the busy streets of the city, seemingly coming out of a manhole? This implies that Sgt. Night and his bots just live down in the sewers?? This is even worse than a shitty warehouse!

This also puts the conversation between Fireman and Waveman at the end of episode 12 into a completely different light: Fireman was mocking him for the fact that he used to clean sewers before they recruited him... While currently living in the sewers himself? Not that much of a moral high ground, my man...

Anyway, now that their little kerfuffle has reached the city and the townspeople are panicking, Mega Man decides to investigate. Unsurprisingly, the fighting bots don't want to be interrupted and shoot at him, even momentarily pausing their fight for this. The shot where they both fire their blasters at Mega Man also made me realize something: I called Namagem the "smaller bot" before, since I assumed he was just as tall as Aki (Y'know, cause they're twins and all that. Oops, Spoiler.), but it turns out he's actually the same size as Fireman, if not half a foot taller! (I have no idea how much that is in centimeters. Okay I looked it up and it's like 15. That's a pretty big difference.) But since he's cheating with his "battle armor" I'm still gonna call him the smaller bot.

After continuing their battle through various parts of the city, including an art museum and Dr. Lights garden, where yet another gardener gets traumatized by the destruction of a prized bonsai tree, they eventually end up in the forest, where their fight finally reaches its climax.

Aki and Mini discuss the possibility of winning Fireman over for the good guys, since he helped them back in the volcano, but are interrupted in their planning by Namagem just absolutely wiping the floor with the fire bot, causing Aki to jump to his rescue and punch his dark counterpart in the chest.

Apparently, Namagem inherited some of his "fathers" more cruel traits, like standing above Fireman and holding his blaster straight to his face, very slowly powering it up, watching with delight as his victim awaits his final moments. Well, until Aki comes in.

The blue bomber quickly explains that he's only helping Fireman to save the city. After the other bot takes a second to recover from yet another near-death experience, he also tells Aki that he's only "letting him" save him because he hates the other guy more than him. These are good enough reasons for them to work together for a while.

And wouldn't you know, it's like they're naturals working with each other, because only a few moments later, they're absolutely tag-teaming Namagem, hitting him with fire blasts from every possible angle. Sadly, this strategy only works for a short while before Namagem brings out his own fire powers, throwing them into the air in the process. After they land back on the ground, there's even more shots coming straight for Mega Man, but Fireman actually gets in front of him to shield him from the attack, completely unprompted.

After that adorable display of camaraderie, they get right back to the battle and actually manage to overheat Namagems blaster, which gives them the opportunity to trap their enemy in a fiery vortex. A little goofy and over the top, but who cares. I'm not gonna spend any time talking about this episodes reveal related to Akis brother, since this is an essay about Fireman and Waveman and not him. And these episode summaries already take up a lot of time and space. Man. I really hope there isn't a word limit for tumblr posts.

Before Fireman can return the earlier favor and blast a hole into the defeated bots head, Mega Man obviously stops him, saying something along the lines of "Don't let anger make you a monster like him! Give him the second chance you want yourself to have!" This combined with the downed robots gasping breaths, suddenly sounding much more like a young boy than the scary guard dog of his boss, makes Fireman slowly lowers his blaster, eventually powering it off completely.

Mega Man is visibly relieved, flashing Fireman a genuine smile. But then... Before the episode can end on this happy note and officially kick-start the fire bots redemption, Namagem musters the last bit of his strength, shooting Fireman straight into his exposed back, instantly punishing his decision to show a little bit of vulnerability. He collapses into Akis arms, who can't help but scream in terror. After laying him on the ground and realizing that Namagem escaped while he wasn't paying attention, he softly reassures Fireman, telling him that Dr. Light will fix him up "in no time". Mega Man also tells him that he's finally free of his "master". All the red bot has left in him before he passes out is to groan in pain and mutter a defeated sounding "Uh huh."

Standing over his companions still body, Mega Man suddenly develops a taste for revenge, saying that he'll take Namagem down by any means necessary.

And this, ladies and gentleman, is the last thing we ever see of Fireman. For all the rest of the season cares, he might as well be dead. If you were one of the people who thought that he would heroically save the Light family out of a tough situation in the finale (like me), you might have been a little disappointed. "He'll fix you up in no time" my ass. But the one good thing about this is that it leaves me with much more room for headcanons.

So what happens after this episode? Fireman gets taken in by Dr. Light for repairs and Namagem returns to Sgt. Night with the news that the traitorous bot has been taken care of. (He leaves out the part where he got his ass kicked.) There's just one little problem with this: What do they tell the other robots? If they tell them that they had to get rid of Fireman for becoming a little too disobedient, I don't think that'll go over well. Especially when it comes to one bot in particular...

So to avoid Waveman going absolute sicko mode on them, they come up with a different story. They call the robot masters together for a meeting, where they tell them with a (not so) heavy heart that Fireman sadly perished in a fight against Mega Man, who showed no mercy in executing him.

Waveman is utterly devastated. Just as he finally found a true friend in this world, he gets taken away again. Why does the universe want him to be alone so bad?

The other bots take the news equally as bad. Fireman may have been a short-fused, grumpy hothead, but he was the robot that's been at Sgt. Nights side the longest of them all, someone dependable they could ask for advice when they needed it. And that Mega Man supposedly offlined him? Was his usual friendliness all just an act to hide his true nature as Dr. Lights killing machine?

But before Sgt. Night can actually celebrate the fact that the robots really believe his made up story, he has to ban Waveman from the base, as he slowly begins to flood everything with his tears.

As Sgt. Night has come to realize over the short time of working with Waveman, his emotions are usually very fickle, so he hopes that he'll come back to his senses in the next few hours. But the hours eventually turn into days. He's not gonna stop crying, isn't he?

Waveman gets so comically depressed after Firemans apparent "death" that he floods entire stretches of land with his tears, with no signs of stopping. It's only after Sgt. Night has to get out his row boat that he sends the other bots to try and cheer him up. Pictured here: The grouchy evil mastermind a second before kicking Drillman into the water.

Please disregard the random gray warehouse to the side, as I drew this exactly one day before finding out Sgt. Night and his gang live in the sewers. (It also felt so freaking wrong drawing Elecman without his ever-present shit eating grin. Feels kinda out of character.)

Anyway, in between episode 43 and the finale there are just a few more episodes, but we can basically skip them all because Fireman bit the dust and Waveman is too busy being taken over by an all-consuming sadness over losing his only friend yet again. He does appear shortly for one episode, but he doesn't say a single word and just gets absolutely blasted by Mega Man. Sgt. Night was probably hoping for him and the other robots to try and take revenge on his blue adversary, but since Fireman isn't there to shield them from all of his abuse anymore, maybe they're starting to doubt his plans and the story he told them about the fire bots passing?

(Side note before we talk about the finale: I know I said this was an essay about Fireman and Waveman, but I just rewatched "This Is Not A Drill", which comes two episodes after Firemans demise and it's sooo much worse than I remembered. At the end, Drillman Senior literally says "I never should have had kids!", which is just. Yeah. A great thing to say to your depressed child, who's probably at the lowest point in his life and stuck in a criminal organization whose boss is taking advantage of him and his insecurities. The "moral" this episode ends on just makes me so unreasonably angry. But you already knew that. Anyway, tangent over.)

I'm not gonna talk about the finale that thoroughly because this essay is already way longer than I ever imagined it would be. Sorry, this got really out of hand for some reason.

So Lord Obsidian brought the entire gang to Dr. Lights doorstep, where they do everything in their power to blast down his doors to get to the Mega key. But before they can even make it past the first glass door, they get a taste of the Light families awesome teamwork. I can't imagine Lord Obsidian wasted much time on maintenance for his robot army, so at this point, half of them are already battered and falling apart thanks to their repeated defeats at the hands of Mega Man. This would also explain how three people and their dog can successfully fend off an entire brigade of armed battle robots.

Waveman barely gets any moment to show off his hidden battle prowess, instead getting used more as the comic relief in this tense battle sequence. The one time he aims his hook straight for Akis head, it gets snatched away by Rush and he's thrown around in the air yet again.

As the battle continues and Aki ends up facing off against Lord Obsidian and Namagem alone, the remaining Lights wipe the floor with the robot masters in the meantime, tying them all up into a nice package for the good guild. After that comes the massive lore dump at the end:

One very important fact that gets revealed here (except for the brother thing) is that Daini was stolen away "shortly before the hard age ended". So that means, I was completely off with my 30 years. I know that they were originally built to be used as weapons in the war, but were given a second chance by Dr. Light wiping their minds clean. Which is.... uh... kinda fucked. Dr. Light out here just casually building child soldiers. But nevermind that, I guess the hard age wasn't that long ago after all. So instead of 30 years, it was more like 15 years? That's my new estimate, at least. I'm going off the fact that Aki and Suna are still in middle school.

This doesn't affect my existing headcanons as badly as I thought at first. One final side note before I get back to Fireman and Waveman: As I headcanonend on one of my last posts, Woodman and Drillman Senior actually used to be friends before the wooden bot went MIA. This 15 year shift means that Woodman actually got the chance to meet Drillman Junior as a child. That's actually kinda sweet. (Which reminds me of something, do all the robot masters have actual names like Cutman and Chemistryman? If Drillman were to have one, his parents probably called him something stupid like Drilliam. Lol.)

Anyway, now back to the post finale headcanons: After spending a moment to cope with all the stuff that happened with Sgt. Night and Daini, the Lights make their way to the good guild to tell the robot masters the truth about their boss and set them on the path to rehabilitation.

Surprising them, Waveman just straight up refuses to listen, still thinking that Aki killed his beloved Fireman. The two kids are kinda shocked at this revelation, since they thought the two robots despised each other after the stunt they pulled at the lake. Clearly not. Aki also finally makes sense of the fact that Waveman definitely tried to kill him with his harpoon in that last battle on purpose. A little concerning.

But the misunderstanding soon gets resolved, as Dr. Light had the foresight to bring Fireman along with them, who was understandably pissed off that they didn't get him out of stasis before the showdown with Sgt. Night occurred. But it all happened so fast, what can you do?

The second Waveman catches sight of the fire bot, he immediately breaks down the force field of the cell that's holding him, shocking not only the Lights, but also the good guild bots who were standing close by. (Seems like it's not the first time he's broken himself out of jail...) Before the police bots can do anything to stop him, Waveman is already jumping into Firemans arms, who barely has any time to react, but catches him regardless. It doesn't take two seconds before Waveman is already bawling his eyes out yet again, though this time out of relief that his friend is okay.

Fireman is a little bit overwhelmed with the situation, feeling guilty that his reckless battle against Daini and his subsequent disappearance apparently left his friend so horribly depressed.

Speaking of horribly depressed: Aki and his family finally get to tell the other robots the truth about Lord Obsidians plans while Fireman and Waveman are busy with their reunion. The robots are clearly disgusted with the things Sgt. Night had planned for them once he got his hands on the Mega key, questioning why they were even helping such a monster in the first place. To help speed their rehabilitation along, Dr. Light puts in a few good words for them, since he and the good guild work together quite closely. While he, Aki and Suna are busy getting the rest of the robot masters out of their cells (and patching up Drillmans arms...), Waveman has finally shed enough tears and calms down again. Kinda. He's so glad to finally have Fireman back that he accidentally blurts out a love confession.

Huh.

Fireman is at a loss for words. Needless to say, he's also glad to finally be reunited with his friend again, but isn't he moving a little too fast? Before he can think about it too long, he tells Waveman that he feels the same way.

I imagine this is going to become a common theme over the course of their newfound relationship. Waveman being way too overenthusiastic about the stuff they do, taking everything way too fast for Fireman to comfortably keep up with. If they don't talk about this, this could potentially lead to problems.

But they will make this work. I believe in them.

And that's where I'm gonna stop with the headcanons. I have plenty more, possibly enough to fill another one of these essays, but man, I have a full time job. I really wish I could just write about funny robots all day... But alas, the students want their books.

Before I sign off, I wanted to share this sketch from 2 years ago with you:

Please don't think about the horrible alligator-eel monstrosity that's gorging itself on Firemans arm. Drawing animals is hard, okay? This stupid little sketch was long abandoned, but the idea served as a sort of inspiration for the final image.

And that is all I wanted to say. Man, discovering layer modes in Gimp has really upped my art game. See you on the next one when we continue our quest to draw every single robot master in the classic series. (Next up are Tornadoman and Windman!) And maybe at a later point, when I draw the last of my favorite robot masters from Fully Charged that I haven't talked about yet: Airman. I have a fun idea for an image involving him and Blastowoman.

Jenny out.

#i have a lot of feelings and opinions on this show okay #and i may have gone a little overboard with the essay this time #but this was still a lot of fun <3 #mega man #megaman #mega man fully charged #mmfc #mmfc fireman #mmfc waveman #fireman #waveman #i love mmfc so so much there will be more i promise #is there a ship name for waveman and fireman?#firewave?#wavefire?#i think the the first one sounds better #firewave #im not tagging the other guys but theyre also here

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cripplecharacters · 8 months ago

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Hello! Want to double check that I've done a decent job of avoiding disfiguremisia, and try to turn it into great counter to hatred instead of just an okay one.

Preface: I have a form of memory loss and likely brain damage so I cannot always phrase things clearly although I will try my best.

Personally I do not feel happy reading escapist stories as that happy ending is not achievable for real people. We don't get to live in a place that's completely safe and free from judgement. I'd like to write people in a hostile world who find love and safety and community, however this does necessite writing hostility. I want to make sure I'm doing so with care.

I would like to make sure that the hostility written as tension does not tar how I write how one of the main characters. He should be written with dignity and respect even when he is not being treated well by those around him.

One of my characters is blind and develops severe burn scars. He wears a blindfold to help with photophobia and sensory overwhelm, but takes it off when its dim. (CVI plus autism.)

While he does wear a cloth coverings in public due to ugly laws, he views it as a ridiculous requirement and happily removes this mask when with friends. He also enjoys that being visibly strange or somewhat unnerving to most people means that shallow people who judge by appearances avoid him.

Question: what other things might I be able to employ to counter disfiguremisia? I have him being content with his face as it tells a story of his life and he's a blunt, forward person, not covering his face for most of the story despite laws necessitating that he do so, and a few other things too (and many side characters with facial differences and deformities also).

Also none of the central plotlines centre around facial difference. He's joining a servant rebellion, befriending a bitter exile intent on status at all costs, and discovering the truth of history. (Also a mind controlling octopus being is involved and a semi sentient moon amalgam thing but don't worry about it everything's fine.)

I think later books will be a more effective counter due to lack of ugly laws and him finding a lovely interest. I will also do my best to make the counters feel real and feasible - I want it to feel like an achievable option for those who deal with prejudice in the real world. I want his happy ending to feel real.

I respect the hell out of escapist fantasies it's just that they do nothing for me personally. I really want to write someone dealing with a lot - more than I ever have - and coming out the other end happy. Yes this world is hostile and will judge me but I can find joy despite it all. Some say the world is universally cruel but I have not found this to be the case. It is wise to be wary but myself and friends can create small sections of time and space where no precautions are necessary. Am I not part of the world? Are not they? The world is not universally cruel as long as I and those I treasure live in and we are not extraordinary, simply uncommon, and what is uncommon is still a great bounty. (Something to that effect.)

I'm set on what I want to write but the specifics I'm more than happy to change in order to bring joy. Do you have ideas on how I can do this full idea full justice?

Hello,

before getting to your actual ask, I have a "few" questions about the premise of the story itself.

You mention that you don't like escapist fantasies - that's fair. Taste differs; you can write whatever and that's great. But I do find the insistence to write a story about a specific type of discrimination as an outsider rather strange. If you want to have facial difference representation, I assume you want to have readers with facial differences, correct? I mean, I don't think that many able-bodied people would be too interested in it specifically considering most don't know what it is. So okay, this is supposed to be a story of characters with facial differences overcoming centuries worth of hatred and all that. Arguably more, considering that disfiguremisia and ableism go all the way back to Biblical times.

Why are you the person who needs to tell this story?

Just as people with facial differences are readers, we can be authors as well. We tell our stories. I will take an #OwnVoices book over a one that isn't that any day, and this fact will influence the rest of this answer. I'm a firm believer in #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs and all when it comes to this stuff.

Have you talked to people with facial differences who would be interested in the kind of story you want to tell? Do you know what they want to see from an author that's not taking it from their own experience? I don't count here, because as I made clear before, I'm not and won't be interested in it. I also don't know anyone in the community who has ever said "I wish more people without our experiences wrote about how hard it is to be us!". You need to make sure there are people who want this.

So, have, or will you, reach out to those that could like it? Sensitivity readers, random people online who like to read about disfiguremisia in their free time, advocates who work on media-centric problems? Anyone who would enjoy it is automatically a better candidate to help than me. I'm too jaded, I suppose.

If you want to talk about people with facial differences in such detail and setting, you need to get to know us. One guy with a specific set of opinions from a blog on Tumblr isn't that (thank god), but I guess I can serve as a reminder that not everyone will be excited to read a book that represents them in some way. We still have preferences.

To write it, you need to involve yourself in the community, start actually spreading activism about our issues. Preach about Face Equality and celebrate when our once-a-year week happens in May. See what disfiguremisia causes. Share our efforts to get all the problematic garbage off the big screen. Read our stories. Understand us as people who are incredibly diverse, and that not all of us like to be described as strange or unnerving.

If you only want to talk about our suffering as some quota to fill on a "types of discrimination" list, it will always be flat and inauthentic, and if you don't put in the effort it's pointless. We don't want tragedy porn, and we don't need to be included in every story about struggles that just wants some brand-new type of bigotry in it. We want authors who care about us, the living and breathing people. And sometimes it might mean respecting our opinions on writing disfiguremisia.

Here is a great post by @writingwithcolor explaining the effects of tragedy exploitation. Not everything there applies, but I would consider it a very valuable read.

If you think about all this, and decide that you are ready to write such a heavy, community-based story, go ahead to...

Actual Answers! Hooray

what other things might I be able to employ to counter disfiguremisia?

Sympathize with him. Disfiguremisia is a tragedy, it's brutal and it hurts. It's traumatic and impossible to forget, even if it wasn't happening constantly just to remind us that it's still there. On this note, I would recommend you research writing characters with PTSD.

Have him think about it. Sometimes I get home after getting stared down on the street and just want to yell. You don't forget a microaggression or a hate crime after five minutes. Let him vent and let him be upset. He can have flashbacks or recall similar situations that happened in the past.

I'm glad that he's aware of disfiguremisia unlike a ton of characters who are somehow always unable to figure out that it's a problem. If the ableism he's facing is so systemic and severe, individual people will be even more extreme. You can have him remember that the shop owner was a slur-spitting bigot, or that his neighbors avoid even talking to him. I want him to call them out - in retrospective, at the moment, in his head, whatever - on what they're doing. Throw a "not this fucking thing again" or something in there.

The minimum is to make him feel like a human with an internal thought process, who is able to actually experience what's happening to him, and for it to have long-term effects.

Also, outside of the whole disfiguremisia thing and me being overdramatic, check out our #blindness tag, and research burn scar care. If you don't show the boring and mundane, it will only feel closer to tragedy porn; just a sad thing one after another.

I will also do my best to make the counters feel real and feasible - I want it to feel like an achievable option for those who deal with prejudice in the real world.

This I think is the part of the ask that made me the saddest, and not because of what you wrote. I tried to think of achievable ways; ways that we did it, tried to do it, and are doing it, and one-by-one I crossed them out as "didn't work", "no one cared enough" or "kinda worked but honestly, it didn't". Face Equality is basically non-existent, not matter how much it hurts me to admit it! We are trying our best, and it doesn't work. It's just plain hard for me to come up with suggestions for this.

In fiction, I suppose that personal resistance is the way when it comes to this. I don't think there are feasible systemic changes that could happen that don't border on magical thinking or get into the "singular glorious revolution that somehow fixes everything and everyone lived happy ever after. We fixed racism, yay!". This just sucks.He could try to educate the people who are willing to listen - that's somewhat what I'm trying to pull off here on this blog, I guess. Sometimes it works, often it doesn't, but in his situation it wouldn't hurt to try.

The fundamental part here will be whether your character is able to find a way to make the ordinary person care in the end. To me, society who still hates us just as much, with a small group that thinks we're okay isn't a happy ending. The opposite, rather. It's cold and isolating to know only your friends could value you as a human being, and downright sad to imply that we should be happy for that. I don't mean that everyone should love us in every story, but there's a difference between The Ableism being represented by an antagonist or two versus the entire world except for the main characters.

If you decide to go forward with this story, I do hope your other readers with facial differences enjoy it!

mod Sasza

[This ask was submitted before my announcement of not taking questions regarding this subject matter. As of publishing this, it still applies.]

#mod sasza #anonymous #face difference #disfiguremisia #tw ableism #long post

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neomale-tboy · 5 months ago

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in my opinion, Fumble/Morven Loh fumbled their/her talk of trans men. to preface: i don't know anything about Fumble aside from it's in the uk.

the reason for the article, the title of the article, and a majority of the first paragraph begins by saying that as queer gender and sexuality takes more of a forefront in the social zeitgeist, trans men are scarcely talked about and she wants to talk about it.

my first problem comes from the last sentence of the first paragraph and the second paragraph. i've seen people talking about transandrophobia say that they're tired of having to disclaim that they don't hate or mean to detract from trans women's struggles. i especially don't like that this disclaimer comes from a cis woman trying to discuss trans men's erasure.

in that same paragraph, she links to another article she wrote. a fine article for what it is (a cis person talking about transphobia). but she cites it as a source in a paragraph about how trans women face worse transphobia as a result of hypervisibility...in an article about trans men's erasure. and the linked article highlights trans women's role within the terf movement and the bathroom debate, making it relevant to the paragraph about trans women in the trans men's article. the bathroom debate, i can get. all i've seen of that is people getting mad at trans women for wanting to use the correct bathroom. i just wish loh talked more about how terfs treat trans people as a whole in thr terf section instead of dedicating it to trans women. this is an article linked in a post about trans men's erasure.

loh then states that she's seen or heard of trans men's erasure in both the queer and mainstream society before saying trans men are men, giving a short paragraph about how the patriarchy makes being trans in general complicated.

she, a cis woman, the gives a paragraph about how fucking easy it is for trans men to pass. how it "just" takes a few years on testosterone and strangers percieve you as a cis man now. she says men are neutral/the default, so people won't question a trans man (who's been on t for a few year)'s gender. then the cis woman adds that trans women are in a constant battle to be seen as women regardless of transition stage...in an article about trans men's erasure.

loh then backtracks, "of course it isn't that easy"...for trans men pre- and 'during' transition, we get confused for butch lesbians and teenage boys. "this is both tedious and painful because many people don't even consider that trans men exist." once more, the cis woman diminishes trans men's issues. our passing is only barely a problem to her because it's just "tedious and painful". she doesn't consider that, similar to the violence she mentions that trans women experience in the article about trans men's erasure, trans men will also recieve repercussions for being trans. to her, it seems, trans men simply have to tell people we're men, and everything is rainbows and trans flags.

she starts off the next section, titled male privilege, by saying that trans men transitioning for the gain of male privilege is a "massive misconception". she asserts that trans men are men who simply happened to be born with female associated genitalia. best thing i think she says: "male privilege works against trans men, not for them...".

in the next paragraph she says "trans men are men" again while advocating that trans men can be of any orientation, not necessarily straight. this is fine, really. she says that we can have attraction to cis gay men, whereas i'd've preferred to hear it the other way around: that cis gay men can be attracted to us. cis validation gives more validity to trans gay men's position as gay men unfortunately. this is an article on trans men's erasure, one in which she acknowledged that that erasure extends to queer communities. but this complaint's a little nit-picky of me.

the article wraps up in a paragraph about general transgender discrimination, where she states that trans people face the highest suicide and homicide rates. considering this is an article about trans men's erasure where she say that trans women face the most discrimination and abuse, i think she really should've highlighted where trans men are the most targeted. because as i've seen in discussions of transandrophobia, there are plently of spots to highlight. she didn't need to give numbers, seen as she didn't for anyone else, but she should've conceptualized our discrimination as more than getting mistaken for a butch lesbian or a teenage boy.

finally, loh gives a list of tips on how to be a trans ally, the first of which being to educate one's self on trans issues, something i view as tone deaf due to my opinion stated in the paragraph above.

in an article precidated on the question "why people arent talking more about trans men?", loh fails to answer her own question. she says that trans men are men, and that cis people/society is accepting of this and our presentations. she never talks about how transphobia affects trans men. hell, she barely, if at all, talks about trans men's erasure! she just reports on what she, a cis woman, thinks trans men are.

i think it's irresponsible how cis people get to speak about trans people like this. how they read up a little on trans issues, and then decide they're qualified to write such an objectively shitty article where once more we are erased and put on the back burner. at the beginning of the article, loh says that times are "(hopefully)" changing. i just don't think she and a lot of other cis people are yet qualified to speak on this change as it affects trans people, especially when it comes to the erasure that they, as cis people, perpetuate.

idk how to tie this off neatly. hope you enjoyed my little analysis i spent over an hour on.

#transmasc erasure #transmisandry #transandrophobia

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soraviie · 2 years ago

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you don't trust androids.txt

━ type: BTS (hyung line) x f! reader

━ about: android! au, heavy angst, slight fluff, nothing majorly fun

━ pictures taken from Pinterest ━ navigation

━ c/w: implied smut, mentions of suicide attempt, mention of near-death experience, mention of losing a limb, a portrayal of poor mental health, undercurrent of dystopian themes, mention of losing bodily autonomy, mention of hating one’s body, mention of depression and anxiety, discrimination against androids

━ wanted to keep this one in the drafts but here it is T-T

NAMJOON: “There’s a ç in Jean Lurçat,” he points out helpfully. His programming suggests it is friendly but the way your teeth grind suggests otherwise. Perhaps…cavities? Humans were prone to them and Namjoon was no medical unit to know any better, he was after all an informational unit. But you don’t seem to be appreciative of that either.

“Have I done something wrong?” he asks.

“Contrary what your chip states, being an obnoxious know-it-all is not helpful!” you snap, red rimmed eyes meeting his. “I mean, who do you think you are?”

He blinks. You’ve met dozens of times already, surely you knew who he was.

“My name is Namjoon,” he points at the tag on his chest. “I am an informational android unit. Here to help.”

“Well, you’re not! Not by nitpicking every single sentence I write!” you hissed and despite it not being expected, he experienced an operational error. If a sudden simulated pang of sadness could be called that.

He rarely gets to talk to anyone in the museum and over the course of these weeks with you coming in and out of the building, he’d assumed, naively, that he’d made a friend for the first time in his life. Or existence rather, he corrects. Androids were not alive hence they could have no, well, life.

“I apologize,” he bows curtly and leaves, shoulders slumped. You watch after him feeling like the grandest asshole in the world.

“That’s because you are,” you chide yourself before slamming the multi-kilogram art book closed shut.

A week passes and despite it not being a part of his programming, Namjoon is sulking. You’re nowhere to be seen. Maybe you avoided him due to it being awkward. Or maybe you just flat out hated him. The operational error occurs again - it makes his stomach feel like a gaping hole in spite of him knowing it was full of wires and memory cards. Perhaps he should be checked for bugs.

“Excuse me,” a thin voice appears behind him and he finds you shifting from one foot to another, a gift in hand.

“Hello!” he greets you pleasantly, face contorting in a dimpled smile before recalling last week and lets it deflate quite fast.

“Are you in need of assistance?”

“No, I came here to say “thank you” and apologize. It was rude of me to insult you. I’m just…” you exhaled, shivering faintly to yourself with nerves. “I moved here only recently and I’m not used to androids. Not that it is any excuse for my behaviour. It was cruel, I apologize.”

“Accepted,” Namjoon graciously nods along, the weird bug in his stomach evaporating into thin air. He glances down at the anxiously clutched gift bag.

“Is that from your family? Was your thesis accepted?”

You glimpse at it almost self-consciously.

“It did. You caught onto all the mistakes so there were no objections from the superiors hence…thank you. You were not being an irritating know it all but…helpful,” you offer him a small smile and he encounters a different sort of bug, this one gnaws on his chest. “It’s for you.”

Astounded, he gently accepts the bag and peers inside. No one has ever given him anything. Inside there sits a folded shirt. The quality of the cloth is to his liking and on the tag he spots the name of the company specializing in android wear. It must have cost a small fortune.

“I thought at first to give you a book but you probably already know everything and then I remembered you wear the same clothes every day but I didn’t know which colour-”

“It is perfect,” Namjoon interrupts, his wires suggesting that the limit of his smile has reached the maximum capacity. “Thank you, ________.”

You squirm but then frown.

“Why is your face so red?”

“Uh…an operational error,” he lies. trying to appear sincere. “Will I be seeing you here?”

“Would you like to?” demurely, you question and he eagerly nods.

“Very much.”

YOONGI: “So at which point you thought to inform me?!” you shrieked though it came out more like a hysteric squeak. But who wouldn’t be upset when their boyfriend, previously assumed as human, factory reset himself whilst being balls deep into your guts.

“Baby, I can explain,” he begins, cautiously inching himself across the bed but you throw yourself against the headboard, clutching the sheets to your chest. Not that there was anything left to hide anymore.

“You better!” you yelled. “You knew from the very first meeting! I don’t trust androids!”

He licks his lips guiltily. He looks human. Acts like one too yet even so you can’t help but feel like an utter dimwit for being fooled like this.

“I know, I know,” he mutters guiltily, running long fingers through the orange hair. He said he dyed it. Bud did he? Did it matter? What else did he lie about?

“And I’m sorry for that! I meant to tell you. I did! But you wouldn’t have me if you knew early on and I liked you so much. I…love you so much.”

His gaze lands to sit dead onto your eyes, a feat for Yoongi indeed and despite expecting to see some blue lights, cogs and wires stretched beneath the artificial material there’s nothing but the familiar brown staring back.

“No fair,” you grumble. “Busting out the L-word.”

He chuckles fondly - a sound you adore even after this mindfuck.

“Can’t risk you running away from me.”

Gingerly, he touches your knee and you flinch.

“It may be a synthetic skin but it’s real,” he whispers moving to softly cup your cheek. “I’m the same Yoongi you’ve always known.”

Unwillingly, your body relaxes as he does his magic, fingers grazing through your hair in a monotone, calming motion. His ultra-effective weapon to having you be soft.

“But how can you…feel?” incredulous yet truthful, you ponder out loud. “You run on…programming…?”

“I’ve been a free android for twenty years,” he insists. “All my "programming” has rusted so much it’s running independent like a human brain would. No exterior orders.“

"So what was that?” you abruptly plank attempting to demonstrate his sudden seizure. “What was that all about?”

“Oh,” he laughs timidly, the gummy smile on show and ears flushing pink. You wonder if there’s wiring there as well but then simply let the matter rest. “I realized I love you, want to spend my life together with you and I…I freaked.”

“Good or a bad freakout?”

He leans in to peck your lips.

“Good,” he mutters in between kisses. “Very, very good.”

JIN: “Want to hear a joke about pizza?”

“No.”

“Good, it’s too cheesy.”

You could physically feel your eyes roll 360 degrees around your skull. The recovery and betterment android unit, J-I-N-100, levels you down with a thoroughly displeased scowl.

“Why aren’t you laughing?” he frowns. “I specifically requested it.”

“Fault in the program,” you slighted, moving to adjust the IV drip.

“Ah! A derogatory reference to my existence. How very original.”

His face and tone is neutral, for all intents and purposes he could have just recounted the level of precipitation outside. That’s what’s wrong with them, you think to yourself, how quickly they can go back to being robotic. And frankly, it’s not all androids you can’t stand to be around, it’s this specific unit that’s been making your life a miserable hell, even further than it was.

Losing a limb, a leg, in this case, was hard. It still continues to be hard. The bitterness that seeps from the court decision - the overruling of a criminal penalty for the drunk driver who’d mowed you over was a bottomless well. On top of that, churning away at a hospital, trying to regain the simple ability to walk using a prosthetic leg made you claw at the walls frequently enough and then this thing came.

The jokes you could tolerate, barely but still, but you couldn’t, couldn’t handle to watch him get his palm crushed one day and then without a care in the world church it away, grab a new one like a brochure at a religious congregation, given away like candy, and stuck it onto himself. No recovery period, no shock, no trauma. Brush it off, move on. How could you not hate him when he joked to you all day long as you fell out of bed or fell walking due to the simple fact that you were human.

Pain was the basis of all life and he felt none. To be in the presence of something that was not alive yet acted as though it was…unnerving. Deeply unnerving yet humanity had already moved past being the only humanoids, moved past the notion of disgust for artificial intelligence, leaving you to choke alone on the bouts of spontaneous rage.

All you heard whenever he opened his mouth was “tiny, pathetic human, wriggling around like a worm”.

“You bent your leg the wrong way,” he points out and your head twitches upwards, removing the crayon-coloured painting of yours from your vision. It’s now brimming with his face, one he said is of course mechanically engineered as it was perfect. He was perfect. A thing he often remarked on.

“What?”

“Your leg,” he repeats slowly as though talking to a child. “It’s made of a similar structure as my legs, if you bend the knee in that position, it’ll wear out the joint wiring.”

You hadn’t even thought about that. This leg…this leg doesn’t belong to you. It’s like him. An alien object lodged onto you. A parasite.

“Here, lemme fix that,” he reaches and on the brink of hurling, you kick yourself away, falling onto the floor. Android unit J-I-N appears almost startled.

“Don’t touch me! Do not touch me! Get out!”

“I can’t!” he objects weakly. “I’m your personal betterment unit if you reject me, I’ll be -”

“I DON’T CARE! GET OUT!”

For an android, purposefully wired being not meant to experience fear, he looks terrified. And that expression haunts you.

Waking up in the midst of a deep night is nothing new. Doctors said the traumatic event of nearly dying and then losing a limb will give you hours upon hours of unslept nights. Walking was still difficult, especially in the dark of the hospital where everything was quiet and creepy. Usually, J-I-N-100 would help you, asked or not, guide you to the bathroom, or fetch you a glass of water but after kicking him out he hadn’t shown for the entirety of the day.

You wander the halls blindly and then the knee jerks on its own and you find yourself on the floor.

“Fucking shit.”

Trying to push yourself off the linoleum, you faintly hear a peculiar noise. A strangled noise of crying. At first, you dismiss it. It was a hospital people cried day and night, every hour of the week but the sound is so terrified, so broken you couldn’t bear to continue the asshole routine.

Following it, you stumble upon the escape stairs, grey and empty and in the middle of them sits unit J-I-N-100. Crying. An android crying. A sight you never assumed was possible.

“Uh…are you okay?” you dumbly ask.

He hides his face away, shoulders shaking before a venomous hiss flies your way.

“Why do you care? I’m a machine.”

You stand awkwardly.

“If this is about what I said, just ask for them to transfer you to a different patient-”

He abruptly laughs loudly and dryly, a laugh of no amusement.

“You don’t understand do you, human? There are no transfers for androids. If we don’t satisfy our patient, there are no do-overs! I’ll be sent to the HQ and be,” his voice drops into a hush. “Be disassembled.”

For an android that was death. You didn’t like him but for him to die due to your displeasure was tyrannical.

“I’m sorry,” you gasp. “I-I didn’t know.”

“You don’t know anything,” he accuses heatedly and you couldn’t blame him.

“No, I don’t.”

There’s a beat of stilted silence.

“You hate that leg of yours because it’s like me. It’s strange. An alien organism. You hate for having these parts but they are not mine. Every part of me belongs to someone else. My eyes, my ears, my legs have been replaced thousand times over. This body is not my own and yet I’m forced to reside in it. Do you have any idea what that feels like?”

Abruptly, all his magnanimous tirades about having the most perfect body make sense in another kind of way. He must have been trying to convince himself of liking it when the truth couldn’t be any further away. Your words now feel sickening and a surge of want, to protect, to shield this android, makes you almost dizzy.

But he doesn’t care for it. Not anymore.

“Please, leave,” he asks. The sound of his voice is broken, worn to its absolute limit. “If I’m around you it is my programming to smile and I don’t want to smile anymore.”

You oblige and close the door to the staircase quietly behind yourself.

To be home again was to experience bliss. Your small, overcluttered apartment had never appeared like the gate of heaven itself. The smell, even the crowded look into the smog-ridden city below is pure ecstasy. Putting the crotches down you sink into the sofa, nearly crying at the comfort of unity. But then that grading, awful sound interrupts your ecstasy. A fucking neighbour. Grabbing the crutch, you’re already prepared to beat these annoying motherfucking neighbours into the next planet only to find J-I-N standing on the other side.

His expression is murderous.

“Why did you do that?”

Timidly, you shift in the doorway.

“I was trying to help.”

“You lied!” he cries out. “You chased down the board members of the android unit assignment, harassed them for hours and then lied to their faces that I’m the most adequate, most perfect unit in the facility!”

“Did it work?”

He calms down, hands coming to stand still by his thighs.

“It did. No unit has ever reached such a score.”

You nod.

“But you hated me…” he breathes, even without any visible cogs, you can see how the logic of your action is not computing in his brain. “You literally hated me all this time.”

“I don’t wish you death. I would never want that!” frustrated you trying to run a hand through your hair only to remember it is supposed to hold a crotch now. “It’s just my fragile human psyche. I’m sorry for it and I’m sorry you have to go through everything. It’s horrible.”

He seems to be beaten into a state of stupor only to shrug.

“It…It is what it is.”

“It shouldn’t have to be.”

For a while, there is only the muted sound of either of you trying to make some sort of conversation.

“Because of what you did, they’re reassigning me. Private health field, I’m a home care unit now.”

“That’s…great,” you weakly surmise. You don’t actually know if it’s great or not. There’s a lot you don’t know. Maybe it was high time to fix that.

“Wait does this mean you’ll be reassembled?!”

“No,” J-I-N shakes his head. “No, reassembling or disassembling. Home care units change very little. Just a little update and I’ll be sparkly new.”

“Perfected the perfection,” you try to joke and he chuckles weakly almost sounding surprised that someone might amuse him and not the other way around.

“Do you…” he shakes with nerves and you grow ever more astounded. He was so alive. A very peculiar android, one who couldn’t give it credit for his programming. Whatever happened that made J-I-N, he was different. Perhaps he made himself different.

“Do you need a home care android? Your recovery period is almost a year.”

“They sent me a catalogue but I haven’t gone through it yet,” you throw your head at the inside of your apartment.

“May…I apply for the job?”

You blink at his demureness.

“But I’m awful.”

“You were,” he agrees. “But you’ve got an update and besides I’m in need of employment.”

“I…” you think it over. In spite of not getting along, you still had grown at least accustomed to him. And J-I-N was far more gracious than you would have been in his situation.

“I’m okay with that. Are you?”

“Yeah,” he squeezes a small smile. “You’re not the worst human on the planet anymore.”

“Thanks,” you snort.

“Also fair warning, this update will contain nearly 68GB of various puns and jokes for the sake of breaking the ice with the patient.”

You feel a part of yourself shrivel and die with that information, still, you force out a polite -

“Looking forward to it.”

HOSEOK: “But…but what am I supposed to do with him?!” as quietly as possible, you hiss into the phone where a woman sighs at your incessant questions.

“He is a mental health android unit, treat him like an app or something.”

“He’s not an app!” you argue with some heat. “He is an android! A being! One you sent to my home without my consent.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have tried to slit your wrists open at a workplace,” she snides and drops the phone, leaving you open-mouthed at the sheer audacity before slamming the phone down into the kitchen counter.

“Your levels of adrenaline and anger are out of the norm. Should I help you to relax?” the android’s voice pops up unexpected right beside you and you scream.

The last thing you wanted after being discharged from a mental institute is to be observed. Like a zoo animal. What will it do if one does this? What will it do if one pokes it in this spot?

“No, please, it is not necessary,” you trail off, fear gripping you whole. This thing will live you. For three months, there will be a stranger, designed to hover over you like a Damocles sword. You couldn’t even feel safe in your own home when it was anxiety in the first place that wore you down so much you wanted to escape it in any way you could.

The mental health unit leans its head to the side. He looks very human, it must be the absolute prime model and somehow it’s even more disturbing. It’s a humanoid that was not human and that knowledge activates some primal terror gifted by your ancestors. You’re choking on your tongue.

“I’ll just use the bathroom,” you force out and make a run for it.

It takes hours for you to exit, shaking on the tile floor was time-consuming and finding the android unit freely moving through your space doesn’t put you at any ease.

“What are you doing?” you rasp.

He turns around, beaming wide and you shudder.

“Making dinner,” he replies cheerfully. “Your file suggested it will be one of my duties.”

In his hands, there sits a cup. It’s your favourite cup. It wasn’t passed from generations, it wasn’t a gift and it wasn’t really that expensive. It had a chip in the side and you bought it essentially from a flea market but it still is your favourite cup. One he has usurped like your peace in your own home.

“Please, don’t..don’t touch my stuff.”

The smile falls from his face and noticing your intent, scared gaze at the cup he places it down.

“But I…I have to make you dinner.”

“You don’t. I’ll do it on my own.”

He blinks, struggling to understand. It goes against his programming, while the emotional core of his does state he should instantaneously assume greater distance. He was creating unease, something he was not engineered to do and the two clashing commands were rapidly wearing down his operational core.

“I can…run you a bath. Baths are beneficiary for human beings.”

The thought of undressing in front of him, of being that vulnerable, nearly makes you gag.

“No, please, just do nothing.”

“If I do nothing, my dispatchers will think you don’t want me.”

“I don’t want you. I’m scared of you.”

His mouth despite it being an impossibility runs dry.

“You’re scared of me?” he echoes weakly.

“You’re a stranger invited into my house without my consent. Of course, I’m scared of you!”

“Right,” he buffers. “I-I…I’ll log myself off in the hallway. Will that make you feel better?”

It’s probably cruel, nevertheless, you nod. You couldn’t be around anyone and despite the opinion of general denizens, androids did count as someone.

Shoulders slumped, he dragged himself away before plopping to sit by the door and proceeding not to move. It was creepy.

At night, you hear him moving around and shivering underneath the blanket from the rampaging onslaught of paranoia, you could not relax for a single second.

Weeks pass and the mental health unit keeps an intrepid vigil to keep out of your way. You don’t even know where he is at times as he occupies no room and makes no noise but at times you almost forget he is there. He still performs some menial tasks when you’re away either being tested or taking a prescribed walk and exercise class. Your floors are too clean and when you fail to make food for yourself it magically appears, though you note that they’re not served in your dishes and neither your pots nor pans were ever used again.

Coming home late one night, you step over the threshold and find it empty and dark, abandoned almost but on the counter there sits a cupcake with a simple note attached.

“I’m very proud of you, ______________.”

Heat rushes to your eyes and your throat tightens. You can’t even recall when was the last time anyone said they’re proud of you.

“Umm…mental health android?” you call out. He didn’t even have a name you realize. He wore no badge and there was nothing in his introductory form. “Mental health android?”

No response. Perhaps, he left. You gave him no order, maybe it somehow messed with his programming so bad he left. You rifle through the apartment high and low, in the end, finding him crouched in the broom closet. It’s an awfully minuscule space, not suitable for anyone, be it an android, human or a cat but it is the only space in the entirety of your home, you did not look into. Just how long had he slept here for your convenience.

You lean down and shake him but he does not wake.

“Sir? Sir?” you shake him harder but you might as well be handling a ragdoll. “Sir? Please, wake up.”

At that, his eyes pop open and you screech from the abruptness of the motion, falling on your backside. He rushes to help you up but pulls his hand away at the last second, conflictedly squirming in the place.

“Are you okay? Are you in distress?” he questions nervously and you gather yourself off the floor.

“No, I’m just…” you sigh. “You shouldn’t sleep in the broom closet. It’s too small.”

“It was the only hiding place. I would not scare you there. You would not see me.”

Something in the innocent explanation, so purely kind-hearted, mellows your own.

“Please, use the living room.”

He nods stiffly.

“Also uhm…” unwillingly, tears pool in your eyes. “Thank you for the cupcake. Did you…make it?”

He shakes his head sadly and solemnly.

“You did not give me permission to use your things, so I bought it.”

“With what money?” as far as you knew androids couldn’t pride themselves on the biggest income.

“I work odd jobs at times,” he shyly confesses. “If I earn enough money, I can apply for citizenship and become a self-sustained android.”

“You used that money to…” you choke. “To buy me a cupcake.”

“To buy you all food and the flowers by your bedside table.”

He shrugs it off with such ease like it’s not by far one of the kindest things you’ve seen a humanoid do.

“Oh, no, don’t cry!”

Too late you’re absolute sobbing your heart out. About everything. When you were little you thought it will be such a dream. It wasn’t. It wasn’t a dream at all.

He once again reaches to hug you, probably due to his programming but holds himself back, to be respectful, however, you hug him first, not caring anymore that his skin is synthetic and his brain is made of chops. You just need someone to connect with. Any connection, any at all would be bliss and this android has shown you unbridled kindness no humans in your life would.

When you’ve cried out half the hurt, not all but a decent chunk, a steaming cup of chamomile tea, served in your favourite mug sits in front of you as the rain taps against the window. It’s easier to breathe. The android sits unsure at the edge of the sofa, uncertain what his next action should be.

“Do you have a name?” you ask, twiddling with the edge of the blanket.

“I’m a mental health care android unit 9876Q36x/3.”

“Right. Have you considered choosing a name?”

If he wanted to be a self-governed android, the idea of freedom must be constant in his mind.

“I did,” he slowly says as though it’s a secret. “Hoseok.”

“It’s a lovely name.”

He offers a gentle smile and you feel for once a bit better.

“Thank you, _______________. I like your name as well.”

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #jin x reader #jin x you #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #taehyung x you #bts reaction #bts angst #bts drabble #bts x y/n #bts android au

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