#but to eat tomatoes i need to Do Something with them instead of eating the simplest easiest pre made food stuff

[hees-mine]

My neighbor- L. Heeseung

Pairing: heeseung X fem reader!

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, cum eating, cursing, dirty talk, alcohol, oral, age gap and the gap is gapping so if that makes you uncomfortable please do not read.

WC: 4,247k

-

You sighed for the thousand time while you sat on the couch watching whatever boring show that was on the tv.

You much rather be out having fun, partying, and enjoying yourself, maybe even getting fucked.

But no.

Instead, you’ve sat two cushions away from your neighbor while he “kept an eye on you.”

It was ridiculous you were old enough not to need someone checking in on you, but your parents insisted that it’d make them comfortable knowing a trusted adult was watching over you while they went on a romantic getaway.

You looked over at him with a glare while he laughed at something on the screen that you weren’t paying attention to. You eyed him from head to toe, and there was a look of disgust on your face. If it wasn’t for him, you could be out having the time of your life, but you calmed yourself down, reminding yourself it wasn’t heeseung’s fault. After all, he was a good friend of your parents. After moving into the lot next to yours a few years ago, he hit it off with your parents right away and soon became a staple in your household, coming over on weekends for dinner and family game night.

He was nice, and you enjoyed his company, don’t get it wrong, but right now, you didn’t, especially when you tried to sneak up to your room with hopes that he wouldn’t notice. Maybe you could escape out your window and enjoy your night after all, but alas. “Ah ah ah, sit down, missy.”

You sighed again, plopping down on the couch after he caught you.

A smile tugged at heeseung’s lips. He’s a bit too old to be fooled by your tricks. He’d been in your shoes before, so there was no way anything you did would get by him tonight.

“Come on, don’t be like that. It’s only one week,” he says as if that wasn’t like a thousand days to a teenager. “Are you hungry? I’m not much of a cook, but I could make some tomato soup, or we could order out whatever sounds good to you.”

You appreciate his offer, you really do, and you should happily accept, seeing how he’s taking time out of his week to make sure you’re safe fed and taken care of, but that itch of defiance and frustration overpower you, and you find yourself declining.

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry.” You slouch down in your seat, folding your arms over your chest and getting a pouty look on your face.

Such a crybaby, heeseung thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud, knowing you’d hate it if he called you that.

“Well, I’m starving, so I’m gonna order a pizza,” he announced and pulled out his phone, ordering everything he liked.

It only takes twenty minutes for it to arrive again. You attempted to run off, but sadly, the transaction between heeseung and the pizza delivery guy was too short for you to make your great escape.

You don’t know how long it’s been now, but long enough to get you even more agitated because you could be at the party you were invited to. It’s been started for an hour or more, but instead, here you are, stuck with your neighbor while he sits across from you, dining on his pizza like it’s a delicacy.

“Can I please go out, heeseung? I promise I won’t tell if you let me,” You give in, pleading with him to let you go out.

“No can do it. It’s my duty to make sure you stay here. Besides, your parents trust me, and I wouldn’t want to break it,” he says strictly.

You throw your head back exaggeratedly, and he can’t help but laugh, making your head snap back to look at him with eyes that could kill.

“What’s so great out there anyway?” he asks, taking a sip from his pop.

“Music friends drinks,” you list out all the things you’re missing out on. “Dick,” you mutter, but he hears you anyway, nearly spitting out his drink.

“You drink?!” He asks wide-eyed because you’re underage, and that’s why he’s so shocked.

“Duh, get with the times, old man.” You roll your eyes at him.

“I’ll have you know I’m only thirty-eight,” he replied, unamused by you.

“Yeah, old.”

“I’m gonna ignore that comment since you’re an emotional teenager figuring yourself out.” This time, you look at him unamused by what he said. “What? Fair play.” he shrugged, both of you, knowing there was no real harm meant by your exchange. “Anyway, I’m still not understanding your problem because everything you want is right here,” he says nonchalantly.

You looked at him weirdly, wondering what he meant by that.

Noticing your confusion, he elaborated.

“There’s booze in the cabinet. I can play some music. We’re friends, I think? And well,” he sets his food aside, spreading his legs on the sofa and facing you. “I have a dick,” he says casually.

He couldn’t help the slight smile that graced his features by your shocked reaction. He didn’t know why you were so surprised. He supposed his idea was a bit outlandish, but it kills two birds with one stone. He’ll know for a fact. You’re safe, and you can have your little party at home with him.

“Heeseung, stop joking.” Laughing nervously, your eyes shifted away from him, unable to comprehend what he said. You understood it perfectly fine, but you couldn’t quite grasp that he was actually being serious.

“I’m not. besides, this solves our problem. I know that you’re safe with me, and you can get everything you want.”

Okay, as good as that sounded, you have to decline. That would be stepping over boundaries you could never uncross.

Besides, it's heeseung you couldn’t. He was too near and dear to your parents. You couldn’t risk it and muddy up their relationship by fucking your neighbor. You don’t know how they’d feel if they ever found out something like that. “Heeseung, we shouldn’t my parents trust you.”

“Oh, so now you understand my point of view,” he laughs. “But it’s alright.” he places his hand on your thigh, scooting closer to you. “I’m sure you can keep a secret, isn’t that right, little alcoholic?” he teases you about your drinking habits, giving your thigh a light pinch.

“Stop it,” you giggled, pushing at his shoulder playfully.

“It’s up to you, Angel.” You nearly lose it at the nickname, his voice going straight to your core.

Since when were you attracted to your neighbor?

“What if I say yes?” You ask, your hand placed on his chest and trailing down to his stomach.

“Then I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.” he leans in his hot breath, fanning your face. “So what’s it gonna be?”

“Yes,” you whisper, lips brushing across his from the proximity.

-

Read full story on my Patreon

[terriblelizbians]

my brain has been so garbage and wacky these past few days just floating around in a daze getting absolutely nothing done and time just sort of happening very quickly. unfortunate since there is a lot i need to get done before spring break starts thiiiis weekend. same problems as usual nothing has changed but it still sucks every time

[fuckingrecipes]

Do you have any healthy snack suggestions for someone who isn't a huge fan of nuts and dried fruit?

FIRST: A 'Snack' is just a small portion of food. It is a signifier of quantity. 'Snack' does not exclude any type or form of food - it just means a lil' bit of food.

SECOND: "Healthy" is entirely relative to every individual.

'Healthy' is just 'Supportive of a complete nutritional profile, taking into account a person's existing diet, dietary needs, and habits of energy expenditure'

For example:

A small, greasy hamburger is an EXCELLENT snack for a highschool athlete who needs to consume an large amount of calories every day to maintain their body. It has lots of fat and protein for muscle recovery and long-term energy, carbs for immediate energy, and some lettuce/tomato/onion for some extra fiber/vitamins/minerals.

On the flip side, if someone already eats a fair amount of of meat and carbs already but has a lower-energy lifestyle, a healthy snack for them might entail leafy greens, beans/legumes and vegetables, because they need more fiber and nutrients in their diet that plants have in abundance.

--

If you are allergic to or hate eating something, then it's not healthy to force yourself to eat it anyway. Find a different food, or a different way to prepare it that doesn't cause physical or psychological distress!

Don't like peanuts, but peanut butter is good? Eat peanut butter instead! Hate the texture of whole tomatoes, but tomato sauce is good? Eat tomato sauce instead!

Don't be afraid to finely mince or blend your ingredients into a sauce or smoothie if you feel you need or want to eat something for the nutrients but hate chewing it.

--

I'm a big fan of probiotic stuff in general, like fermented foods (kimchi, pickles, sauerkraut, miso, mustard and yogurts), since a strong bacterial colony in the gut has a positive impact on wellbeing for most folks. More importantly, I love the taste.

Buuuuuuuut~ some people are extra sensitive to compounds that are concentrated in fermented foods. Those people should not eat a lot of fermented foods. It's not healthy for them.

--

If you're munching snacks out of boredom when you're not actually hungry, something low-fat but satisfyingly crunchy usually does the trick for me. Something I can keep devouring for the sensory delight, gives some good nutrients, and won't make me feel overly full afterward.

Carrots, bell peppers, mung bean sprouts, apples, pears, jicama, radish, pretzels, sweet onions, green papaya, broccoli, popcorn, cucumber, water chestnut, seaweed crisps, coconut chips, any of those fermented foods I mentioned... hell, coleslaw is mostly cabbage with oil and vinegar - plow through that and have a great time!

--

If you want a snack because you're hungry, but you just want to tide yourself over until the next meal, eat something that is high in fat and fiber. Fat & Fiber makes you feel full.

Cheese, Yogurt, Butter. Olive oil. Guacamole. Tinned fish. Cream. Fry up an egg. Olives, Hard-boiled eggs - These are all relatively high in fat.

Beans, Legumes, Oats, Leafy Greens, and most Berries are pretty high in fiber, and can pair up with any of the fatty things.

Hell, a slice of cheese pizza is also fine! Buttered toast is fine! A small portion of roast beef from last night's dinner!

Eat a little bit, wait 20 minutes, and see if you're still hungry after that. A normal stomach takes 20-30 minutes to register feeling satiated. (Some people's stomachs don't really feel the difference of hunger vs satiation. Those people need to be more mindful of the quantities of food they eat - both eating too much, AND eating too little!)

--

If you want a snack because salty snacks in particular sound fucking amazing, but other fatty and high-protein foods sound kinda gross, Try chugging a glass of water.

If water doesn't resolve the feeling after giving it a few minutes, try something with salt.

Dehydration and not having enough salt in your body both cause salt cravings. Acute thirst is often mistaken as hunger.

Honestly, you can have a handful of chips. Eating a whole family-sized bag of potato chips in one sitting is probably too much salt & fat for most people, but eating a handful here and there is fine. It's just as morally neutral as eating a carrot.

Eat some rice with soy sauce. Eat some pickled okra, or pickled onions. Eat some miso soup. Drink some soup broth. Have some salt-cured meats.

--

So: A Healthy Snack!

Ask yourself: Am I hungry, bored, or thirsty?

Ask yourself: What have I been eating lately, and what has my diet lacked, or had in excess? (Fats, Protein, Carbohydrates, Vitamins/Minerals, Water, Salt)

Ask yourself: Am I trying to provide my body with a complete nutritional profile, including fats and carbs - or am I focusing on an imagined 'purity' of food and assigning moral value to eating what diet culture calls healthy so I can be 'good.' (Aka: Do you think instances of eating candy or fatty food is 'being bad'? Stop that.)

Ask yourself: Am I able to rely on my body's signals for hunger and thirst, or do I need to manually track this?

Sometimes a snack is a small portion of leftovers from yesterday.

Sometimes a snack is carefully sliced, cooked, and arranged on a cute plate.

Sometimes a snack is gnawing through half a head of cabbage doused in vinegar.

Sometimes a snack is a handful of shredded cheese eaten from your own palm so you become both the gentle horse and the stablehand feeding it, and that's all okay

[bedoballoons]

Hii~ I have a reqq ❤️❤️

Soo basically the reader asks them a random dirty question, for example ‘would you eat me out in public for a million dollars?’ in an attempt to make them embarrassed however the turns are tabled and the character ends up making the reader blush and get all flustered instead?

Fem/gn reader and with kazuha, albedo, lyney, and xiao? Tyy I love all ur works aaaa ❤️❤️❤️

When I tell you this request has me screaming and kicking my feet in excitement, omg thank you and I hope you enjoy!!

(also you're so sweet, have a cookie 🍪)

─⊰💕𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤💕⊰─

{༻~Would you?~༺}

Genre: Suggestive! MDNI! NSFW!

CW: GN! Afab Reader, dirty talk, teasing and everything takes place in public!

(Includes: Lyney, Albedo, Kazuha and Xiao!)

𑁍༄Lyney:

"Hey, Lyney...would you eat me out in public for a million dollars?"

You smiled slyly at him, waiting for his face to blush at how risky your question was. I mean you were in public, people sat all around you delighting in their food and you'd just asked him something so flustering.

"Oh ho ho, Mon amour, I'd eat you out in public for nothing at all, I mean everyone else is digging into their favourite treats...why can't I~" He leaned his head in his hand, smirking at you with this teasing look in his bright eyes while your cheeks flushed..was he licking his lips too..

𑁍༄Albedo:

"Hmm Albedo, what would you do if I asked you to throw me on this table and ruthlessly fuck me in front of all these people?"

You giggled at him mischievously, looking around the crowded area and wondering what his response was going to be. Would he hide his face in embarrassment? Blush like a tomato? Would he get turned on and need to excuse himself? The possibilities were endless.

"Are you asking? Because I'm now one short answer from throwing you on the table my love~" He looked at you amused, his smile knowing and his fingers tapping against the soft skin of your hand as you suddenly felt flustered. Would...would he really..

𑁍༄Kazuha:

"Kazu, what do you think everyone would do if I pulled down your pants and started riding you like I needed it more then anything else?"

You looked at him innocently, acting like you hadn't just asked a question that left you needing to push your thighs together. It wasn't really that bad, just a thought you'd had and wanted to share, maybe it wouldn't make him flustered to no end like you'd planned...but you doubted it.

"I will be honest with you my dear, I don't really care what everyone else would do. If you needed me, I'd be happy to oblige, no matter who was watching, with you on me there's only one thing on my mind~" He looked at you with a soft smile and despite the dirty meaning in his words, he didn't change tone once...he really would only be focused on you and your body after all..

𑁍༄Xiao:

"Xiao...if I asked nicely, would you lay on the park bench while I rode your face and screamed your name?"

You batted your eyes at him, watching his reaction closely as people hurried past the two of you and pretended not to hear what you asked. It was a pretty crowded park and it was definitely not out of earshot...so you were hoping it would be enough to fluster the mighty Yaksha.

"Do you promise that I can fuck you on it after?~" He turned to face you, his tongue sliding across his teeth as smirked at you. Your breath caught at the sight and he chuckled, "Well do you, hurry and answer, cause I'm hungry as is~"

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day!~*⁠.⁠✧

[actually-safer-to-kiss]

Girlfriend Interrupted

Summary: Reader had a bad day at work and Spencer's complaints are not the best timing.

Couple: Spencer/Fem!Reader

Category: Hurt/comfort

Content warnings: Mentions of food, hunger, and prolonged time without eating

Word count: 887

The bus rumbles across the old asphalt and bricked crosswalks while hissing at stops. All you could do was lay your head against the window and try not to fall asleep or accidentally smash it into the glass after hitting a precarious pothole. You were three stops away from home and all you wanted to do was lock yourself in the apartment and gorge on the least healthy meal you could find. 

You had a healthy meal planned for lunch today actually; a salad filled to the nines (the nines being roasted chicken, nuts, pomegranate, and honeydew). It was perfect. So perfect in fact that someone stole it from the fridge when you were in the middle of beating a deadline. And even after being successful in that, your boss still found time to yell at you for something another co-worker did. You weren’t sure which one, but it wasn’t you. You’ve been nibbling on a granola bar on the ride, but your mind is occupied by the leftover lasagna in the fridge.

And you find it there, waiting for you under the stark refrigerator light. You yank it from the bottom shelf and don’t even consider looking at the microwave. You barely looked at the dishes you left in the sink after breakfast this morning and remember how behind you were when getting ready for work, telling yourself you’d put them in the dishwasher before Spencer got home. You did say you’d do that. And Spencer doesn’t like dishes in the sink.

 Instead, you grab the blanket from the back of the couch and settle in the dark, pulling up a YouTube video you’ve been meaning to watch. You rest your phone against the book spines Spencer had specifically picked out to be displayed for their guests (mainly your parents during the holidays and his co-workers). Most of them are about astronomy, nothing you’ve cared to pick up. They’re detailed enough to keep Spencer entertained and sturdy enough to keep your phone upright while you slurped up tomato sauce and ricotta cheese. And so you snuggled in like a kid watching Saturday cartoons, sugary cereal at the ready.

And it’s when you think of your boyfriend again that the door behind you opens with a creak. The thud of his cane echoes across the wood floor as that same door clicks as he shuts it. You manage to say “Hey, Spence” through your glorious mouthful of a rushed dinner. But Spencer says nothing back. He’s been struggling not just with his knee acting up again after his previous surgery, but with being unable to travel with his team. The thud of Spencer’s cane trails from the entryway to the kitchen. It was a tough day for both of you, no doubt.

Your sympathies started to wane though when Spencer interrupted your video.

“Ugh, Y/N. I told you I don’t like dishes in the sink.”

“I know.” You tried to say without a mouthful. “And I’m sorry. I was running late for work and needed to get going before—”

“And you left the fridge door open, too. We talked about needing to cut back before our lease renewal. The National Weather Service expects an uptick in accumulation by late December.”

You pause your video and turn in your seat. “Sorry, I was going to do it when I got home, but I needed to eat because someone stole—”

“And you’re eating the lasagna from the tray? We have clean bowls. You could easily grab one from—”

“Let me talk!” You ended up shouting. It was sudden for both of you. You’re never one to raise your voice and Spencer has never been one to fuck up bad enough to witness it. It forces Spencer to freeze in place, like that accumulation he talked about just rushed through the apartment on your command. It would be funny if it was some sort of command if you already weren’t teetering on the edge of tears. The sting in your nose already started traveling to your eyes. They welled up and Spencer quickly became a blur as you started to sob, the trials of a bad day finally getting to you. You let your chest heave and tears streak down your cheeks, hoping at least a portion of the stress will subside afterward.

You didn’t expect Spencer to be right next to you. You didn’t hear his cane once on the floor. It was against the arm of the couch. And he was on the floor, resting on his knees. Of course, you’re too distressed to point out that is the last thing he should be doing if he wants to avoid more surgery so badly. Plus he’s busy with taking the meal off of your lap. “Come here,” he tells you. He’s holding your hands. His hands are just as frigid as the lasagna. But he pulls you up as he tries to stand, meeting you on (somewhat) equal footing to bring you into a hug. It’s warm, obviously. All of his hugs are warm. He wears cotton-only cardigans and wears layers of clothes even at the peak of summer. “I’m sorry.” He says. “Just let it out. I’m here.”

“Spence. Your knee.”

“It’s fine.”

“You need to—”

“Be here. Which I am.” And he holds you tighter.

[notpixl]

HSR Character Drabbles (Ft. The Stellaron Hunters & The IPC)

Had to change the title since like the realizing part is kind of restricting my headcanoning ahh and I want to just-

Your honor just kill me I just wanna write 🫠

GN!Reader as per usual

And if there was a Title to describe this whole bananza then it’s: What do they do when they’re in love with You?

But it feels… you know what? Just enjoy this mess.

Also! Established Relationships for Topaz and Aventurine. I would’ve gone insane by the time I had something for them that isn’t in the relationship phase…

—————

———

—————

Kafka

She’s “somewhat” clingy

Been like this ever since she’s laid her eyes on you

You just bring a… certain charm that makes her enamored

And this feeling soon devolved into something more…

I wouldn’t say worse but…

It reaches to the point where she cherishes every moment with you

Be it longer hugs

Her hands intertwined with yours at any chance she gets

Or a few more minutes just so she can lay in bed you a little bit longer (the whole one room one bed is orchestrated by her, of course)

You’re just…

Mm…

She just wants to be with you

Every second

Smile for her, will you? Just once? It’ll get her going

Silver Wolf

Holed up in her room

Otome games stacked beside her

Reading text at near light speeds as if it isn’t even difficult

And once she meets her own reflection from the end credits…

She concludes that it isn’t enough

…she wants everything to go right

Not to make an embarrassment of herself

It has her spiraling downwards and staying up for days until you’re told by Kafka to check in on her

Her eyes flutter open

Words of concern spill out of your mouth

She’s not even listening to you

Just…

Wondering if these hands on her shoulders are real or not

Thankfully she does get ahold of her senses and willingly heads to bed

Not before having more… thoughts

Damn can she be just normal for once-

Tip for Boss: Give her a hug

Blade

Sort of good news…?

He’s in love

Bad news?

He’s in love

He goes to such lengths in distancing himself from you, often taking missions that’ll definitely take a month or two to finish…

It’s only when Elio and Kafka step in with these countless missions that he begrudgingly takes in your presence again

Though… some part of him appreciates your company

Even if one day you…

Well…

Let’s just ignore that for a second

All that matters now…

Is that you’re here

Side note: Ruffle his hair at least once or twice a week.

Pretty please.

Firefly

She’ll be fine she says!

Cues to her trying to get a grip of everything the moment you wave at her

Firefly is… a mess to put it at words

Girlfailure if you will

From spacing out just by calling her name or her brain needing a reboot when you hold her hand

Heck, even Kafka and Silverwolf are teasing her about this!

But… she isn’t afraid to improve

Because one day

She’ll have the courage to…

To ask if you’re fine with eating cake rolls with her…

…

Doesn’t that just sound like a date-

Fun fact: She will stay still as a rock if you lay your head on her shoulder. Use this for whatever you want

Aventurine

Countless paper bags scattered across thr living room

You don’t deny these gifts of course it’s just…

You know

You’re not used to this

This amount of…

Appreciation

So, who would’ve thought that one day…

He decides to visit you!

Without warning!

…How did he even know your addre-

Right, your wallet…

That aside he’s just…

Standing there

Processing what’s in front of him right now

“…do you want more?”

“Wh-what?”

“Do you want a mansion instead?”

“Navi, can you get ahold of yourself please-

Call him nicknames. Makes him a tomato.

Topaz

Lap Pillows

And also Numby laying on your tummy

This has been an occasional thing whenever the weekend comes by

There’s also a switch in roles! And it happens quite often during weekdays when she comes home from work

Which lets you pepper her with kisses, leaving her a blushing mess afterwards

She’ll also fake getting sick just so she can be enveloped by your lovey dovey hugs just a bit longer

Though that always ends in her grumpily heading back to work…

“I miss my S/O, Numby…” She says as she closes the front door

Tip: If you kiss her then keep kissing her then make out and head to fourth base did you know she’ll be really needy an

Dr Ratio

After countless research and conducting…

Does he finally come up with a solution

…

A change in attitude

His rather… harsh demeanor would only lead to distancing yourself from him

Which explains itself very well in not having a chance at expressing his feelings for you

…but he’ll do what he can

Big or small

So long as you see him…

The way he sees you

Then writing this Thesis about Love isn’t so bad after all

I.E. Dr. Ratio turns soft for your sake and everyone else’s

…

“What’s this?”

“Tea. I thought you might need it for the gargantuous amount of paperwork.”

“Thanks… are you sure you aren’t possessed?”

“Why the assumption…?”

“You’re smiling.”

…

….

…

Yell at me if I did something bad for anyone in thi sob drabble :(

And that if this gets more than eleven likes I will have to acknowledge the fact that people like this

[sagesbard]

Multi-tasking

Actor! AU Curly x reader x Jimmy

In this AU Jimmy is not a rapist I do not condone any of his actions as a victim of SA and rape.

NSFW MDNI

CW: overstim, threesome, squirting, bj, spit roasting, Jimmy being a sly bastard, condescending curly🔥🔥

Those two were always such pains in your ass. Those being Curly Grant and Jim, you actually never knew his last name. You offered Curly a spot in your next film because you needed an actor that was willing to work with you. Then you realized you needed more actors than you thought. You had some friends that were willing to do it so you were short by one. In walks Jimmy. Curlys best friend and he was nice at first. He listened and knocked the audition monologues out of the park. Then when you got to filming and the three of you become friends he started messing with for fun. Calling you "Mrs. Director" Every time you asked him to stand or do something for his scene he'd always say. "Yes Mrs. Director" with a shit eating grin. It annoyed you, everyone else listened but him. Then he got Curly in on it. You were all close enough friends for you not to fire them over it but it was still annoying. Then came the flirting remarks. Every time you tried to reprimand them they always said some stupid shit like. "And what will you do? Spank me?" Jimmy would tease. Curly was no help either. He'd just say "I'd like to see you try doll." Fuck he was so annoying, they were so annoying. But you couldn't help but look at the way Curlys arms looked when he helped lift something. Or the way Jimmy's eyes shined in the light on set.

I guess that's how you ended up in this situation. You three were on your couch in your apartment. It was a slow Saturday and all your other friends were busy. So your last resort was Curly, then he asked if he could bring Jimmy and you said sure. You had a movie playing but you couldn't really focus on it. Instead your eyes trailing over Jimmy's facial features and Curlys body. The way his legs were spread as he sat down and his thighs alone were enough to make you drool. The way Jimmy's hands held his knee while the other held his face while he was watching the movie. Your mind started to drift. You wonder what it'd feel like to have those hands on you, would they be rough and calloused or soft and gentle. Or the thought of Curly mumbling things in your ear. Heaven and God forbid your brain went to both at once. You could imagine the scene now. Jimmy's fingers in you, eating you out until you're a shaking mess. With Curly behind you having you on his lap, kissing or biting your neck. God you wanted them so badly. But they were your cast, you were basically their boss so you knew you couldn't do anything with them. "Uhhhh (name)?" Curly said, noticing the way you'd bite your lip as your eyes stared off into nothingness. The two college students looked at each other. Then back to you. You zoned back in when Jimmy snapped in your ear. You jumped a bit and blushed slightly. "You good doll?" Curly asked. "Yeah you look like a fuckin tomato right now." Jimmy commented, noticing how red your face was. "Fine!" You squeaked. "I'm fine" you said, more calmly this time. You were always confident and loud so you being startled by just their voices was new to both of them. "You sure you're alright, you looked like you were having a wet dream still awake." Jimmy said bluntly, to which Curly elbowed him for. "I'm just saying." Jimmy mumbled. In all honesty you practically were. As if they could hear your thoughts Curly spoke up and asked. "You did look like you were fantasizing though. Mind sharing with the class?" He teased. You automatically shot up in embarrassment. "N-no, I'm fine, I'd rather not share" you huffed. To which Curly and Jimmy just smiled at each other. "C'mon (name) I've probably heard worse from Jimmy, he was *weird* during middle school" Curly said, making jimmy elbow him this time. "Oh like what?" You replied. "He was a my little pony kid." Curly responded blankly. A small 'oh' escaping your lips. "Well..... I was thinking.... About you... Two." You said quietly. Embarrassed to even speak those words. "Oh?" Jimmy said, as if saying the work treat around a dog. "Do elaborate" he said excitedly. You were too far to turn back now. "One was eating me out the other had me in their lap.." you mumbled once more, avoiding eye contact until Jimmy grabbed your face, not roughly but not gently either. "Keep going." Curly said with baited breath. "One fucked me while I suck the other off." You said, having no choice but to look Jimmy in the eyes. "Fucking hell." Curly mumbled, his face turning red at her words. "If you want" Jimmy started. "Me and Curly here could make that happen." He continued. Your eyes widened at his statement. "I wouldn't mind" Curly said. "Would you like that doll?" He asked. You slowly nodded your head. Taking that as a yes Jimmy then smashed his lips against yours. His hands finding their way to your hips as he held them. Deepening the kiss, letting out a low hum at the feeling. When you two separated there was a line of saliva connecting your lips. Your mind was already hazy at just that kiss alone. Curly gently shoved Jimmy back as he kissed you, he was much more soft with it. Taking his time and making sure he savoured every bit. Pulling away after a few seconds because you two needed air.

"So Mrs. Director" Jimmy said, "what's next on your little list?" He teased, "um.. could you maybe-" you said before being cut off. "Uh uh, you yell at us all time on set" Curly interrupted. "So go ahead, command us like you normally do doll" He said, his blue eyes lowered and holding a predatory glance. You swear you were going to lose it. "Touch me" you muttered. "Atta girl" Curly said, gently placing you in his lap, his hand lowering to your shirt as you nodded. He sighed almost like a groan, lifting up the fabric leaving you and a bra. He tried to take it off but he sat there messing with it for about 3 minutes. You laughed and took it off yourself. Both men mumbled a "God damn" at the sight of you. Jimmy once again wasted zero time and kissed you again. Your back facing curly as his hands trailed over your body. The friction of his rough hands going over your tits made you gasp and moan into the kiss. Jim's hands then lowered to your pants. Pulling back from the kiss as he looked for your permission. You nodded, eyes half lidded and needy. "Please." You mumbled. He smiled and unbuttoned your pants. Dragging them down, revealing your underwear already soaked. "Would you look at that" Jimmy said to Curly both smiling. "Poor thing" Curly said. As Jimmy's hands hooked the lace fabric and pulled them off of you. The cold air hitting your pussy making you jolt. Jimmy just laughed as his hand went to your clit. Rubbing it in circles. You jumped once again and moaned. Curly laughed again and started kissing your neck. Biting gently as his hands went back to your chest. While Jimmy stopped rubbing you and inserted a finger, causing your breathing to falter. "You're doing so good for us" Curly mumbled in your ear, his cock straining in his pants. You could feel it under you, poking against your ass. Soon enough Jimmy added a second. Making your hips buck against his hand as you whined. You soon felt a knot form in your lower abdomen. "Don't stop, fuck please don't stop" you mumbled, grinding against his hand. "Not planning to" Jimmy said, locking eyes with you as you came. Your whole body shaking a jerking as you covered his hand in your sticky cum. "You're so cute like this baby" Jimmy said, licking his hand clean of your juices, you were still catching your breath as Curly took you out of his lap.

Jimmy got up and went behind you. Curly then standing up and sitting in front of the two. As Jimmy unbuckled his pants and positioned himself at your entrance. Pushing in he groaned at the feeling of you around him. As Jimmy started thrusting, his hands on your hips like a vice, biting his lip so hard he thought it might bleed. Your moans lined up with each of his thrusts. Curly fumbled with his belt buckle, gently holding your chin as he silently asked if you were okay. You bit your lip and nodded gently, your eyes giving away the fact that you barely had any thoughts left. He pulled down his boxers just enough to take out his hard cock. The flushed tip dripping pre cum. You drooled at the sight of his cock. Gently grabbing it as yous stroked it slowly. Eventually wrapping your lips around it as Curly groaned. Jimmy's harsh thrusts causing you to take more of him in your mouth. You moaned and whimpered around Curlys cock as he groaned at the feeling. His breathing heavy as he gently grabbed a fistful your hair. Your eyes looking up at him while Jimmy thrusted harder. Making you moan more around Curly as your mind went blank. "F-fuck baby, maybe the reason you were such a bitch on set was because you need two strong men to fuck the attitude out of you yeah?" Jimmy said, laughing meanly.

Curly bit his lip as you went up and down his cock, accidentally pulling your hair once your tongue traced over the vein on the underside of his cock. You tightened around Jimmy at the feeling. "Fuck babe you actually like that stuff?" Jimmy laughed meanly, Curly just blushed as you continued to suck him off. Soon enough he felt himself getting close. "Dammit, I'm gonna cum down that pretty little throat of yours doll, is that okay? Fuck" Curly groaned breathlessly. Slightly whimpering when he finally came down your throat. You coughed when he pulled out of your mouth as Jimmy's movements stuttered. "Fuck 'm gonna cum, fucking pussy's gripping me like a vice." Jimmy muttered as he had you on all fours. As Jimmy kept ramming into you he gently pulled you hair to put you up, your back against his chest as he kissed you once more. He tasted like the vanilla liquor he kept around his apartment, but not in a he just drank it way. His hand then snaked down your body as he rubbed your clit. Your hips automatically going to grind against his hand. Moaning into the kiss as your breathing became more ragged, cumming on his cock as his hips stutter once more. "F-fuck, cumming!" Jimmy groaned, shooting ropes of hot cum into your pussy. He gave you a second before pulling out. Your fucked out state making the two men laugh a bit.

Curly kneeled and gently held your chin to get you to look up at him. He shook his head condescendingly as he spoke. "Tsk tsk, Jimmy was so mean to you huh? Our poor little director. Get more than you asked for huh?" You shook your head. Your breathing rough, " m' fine. Just a little shaken up." You muttered, sitting up to look at the blonde haired man. Your half lidded eyes said otherwise. Curly raised a brow and grinned mischievously. You knew that look, that's the kind of look he had when you asked him about getting a stunt double when he got knocked back on set. The look he had when he said he could do it himself. Fuck he took it as a challenge. You thought to yourself. "In that case, I'm sure you wouldn't mind just one more round right?" Curly said, Jimmy knew that tone of voice he had. So Jimmy just sat back on the couch, watching the two of you. "Do your worst. Grant" you said, putting emphasis on his name. You only called him that when you were absolutely pissed at him. But in this context, if he wasn't already so hard he would've been that instant. "Fuck" he muttered, before he had you face down ass up, one of his hands on the back of your neck, pressing down as you bit back a whimper. He rammed into you without warning, causing you to gasp and moan loudly as he thrusted harshly. He wasn't fast like Jimmy's thrusts, he was slow and deliberate. But you could still feel him bruising your guts. His hand left your neck to grip your hips. You moaned as he fucked you. He was panting like a dog. He muttered swears as he destroyed you. A white ring around where you two connected. You couldn't even think straight anymore. "You're gonna f-fucking break me" You whined as your head hung back. "Yeah? Maybe that'll fix your fucking attitude on set." Curly said as his hand slid down your body, rubbing your puffy clit in small tight circles. Your hips jerked against him. He bit his lip in response, the feeling of you tightening around him. "m' gonna cum" you whined out. "Not yet, you gotta earn it, sorry Hun" Curly huffed out, his movements slowing down to a stop. You groaned in frustration. "You can ask nicely I know you can" He said, grinding into you, causing you to moan. "Please" you mumbled, looking away embarrassed. "What was that?" Curly teased. Jim walked out of the room for a minute, exchanging a knowing glance with Curly. "Please make me cum" You say, eyes lowered and holding a needy lustful look. Curly honestly almost came on the spot from that alone. "Yes ma'am" He said, before pounding you even harder than before. Causing your voice to crack as your moaned, your back arching into his touch. His large rough hand coming down onto your ass, making you yelp and moan even more. "Fuck you really are a whore." Curly muttered as he felt you tighten around him. You moaned as you felt yourself grow close again. Your tits bouncing with each thrust of his hips. "Wanna cum" you whined over and over again. "Go ahead baby fuck" Curly moaned, his voice cracking. As you came you gushed around his cock. Your vision going blurry as you did so. "D-dammit didn't know you could squirt like that o-oh God." Curly moaned as he came inside you, shaking and drooling as he did so. It took a minute for you two to catch your breaths.

Jimmy then came back into the room. "Hey you two horny fucks done yet?" He said, leaning against the wall. "Yeah, we are" Curly huffed. "Cool, I drew a bath for her and all that so if you wanna carry her in there that'd be great." Jimmy said, pointing towards the bathroom. Curly then picked you up and went in there, setting you down gently in the water. Your body finally relaxing as you let yourself soak in the hot water. After you got out and such you put on some comfy pajamas and joined the two back on the couch to watch another movie. This time, your mind didn't wander as much. You did notice that the two cleaned up the couch as much as possible, you smiled at the realization. By the time the night was over and the two men went home after much reassurance from you that you were okay. "See you on set Mrs. Director." Jimmy said with a shit eating grin as he left through the door. God you hated those two, but not as much now.

A/N: lmk how y'all enjoyed this! It took me almost a fucking month between exams personal shit and Tumblr just not saving my drafts. But I hope y'all liked it<3 as usual my requests are always open and if you'd like to support me or bump up your request to first priority you can always support me on cash app ($sagethebard) ofc you don't have to but it'd definitely be a huge help 💗

[jujutsukgojo]

My gifts to you

feitan portor x reader

Summary: You knew him for years for only moments at a time. Yet, you take it upon yourself to love and mourn him anyway, even when the world won't. tw: light smut, slight yandere feitan, spoilers, mentions of murder, light angst, fluff(?), injuries, cheating, time skips an: didn't mean for it to be this long. Feitan is a bit tricky for me but oh well :) kind of inspired by criminal minds 'no way out'. 10.8k

“If you tie it like this, it should stay, okay?” You tap the boy’s foot. Although he is smaller than you in height, his feet are bigger. It’s quite comical but you don’t dare laugh. In this blasted city, you’d be bound to die for such a thing. Especially if you laugh at someone with crazy hair and carries a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.  

  He says something in a foreign language that you can’t understand. If you are correct, it may be inverted Japanese. In the books that one kid collects, there is a country, Japan, where the common language originates. Since the common language isn’t his mother tongue, it makes you wonder where he’s from and why he’s here. 

  The boy stands up to his full, but short, height. You sit on random rubble and look up at him, waiting for what he’ll do next. Will he call over Phinks or even bring Uvogin? He hangs out with Phinks mainly but who knows these days. 

   Instead of swinging the bat at you or calling over his friends, he pats your head awkwardly. You don’t make any sudden movements or noises. The boy leaves right after. A sigh escapes your lips after he leaves you behind.  

   What's his name again? Feitain? 

__________

  In your hut, you slightly stir the food that sizzles in the pan you found. It’s rare to come across tomatoes and eggs but you managed this time. The smell is mouth watering. You hope no one else can smell it. 

As much as you want to live elsewhere, this is what you settle for at the moment. In another world, you’d be out of this city and somewhere clean and safe. Like the church or something. No, even better than the church. You’ve heard of the outside where there are bright flashing lights and diamonds and pearls on people’s necks. There are flowers of all colors out there. Different shapes, smells, and meanings, they’re all beautiful. You hear that food isn’t scavenged but bought or given to people without a price.  

   People said they’ve seen the safety of children your age that play without a care. There are parents for the lost kids and doctors for the injured. Clean clothes and showers on the regular. You can even see the sun clearly and the big, round moon that doesn't bring out the wolves in men. 

There are pastors and priests that don’t turn people away, either. Hell, you have even wondered if there were schools there that allow everyone to get in. You're sure that you are reading and doing math wrong. How embarrassing.  

Finally done, you place the food on a plastic plate you found. You made sure to wipe the grime off the plate and rinsed it with clean water before using it. Even though you can just eat out of the pan, you want to seem sophisticated like the outside. They don't eat out of pans or use dirty plates. 

  The food steams and is welcoming. Without a lot of utensils, you pick at it with your hands. It burns at first but you’re too hungry. The flavor bursts in your mouth. Even without the proper seasonings, it’s still heaven. You haven’t eaten in a while so you’ll take what you can get.  

   Suddenly, the boy, Feitan, enters your hut. You gasp and protectively cover your food. He brings his foot out. His shoe, which he stole, is untied again. You swallow the substance and point out, “I taught you how to tie them.” 

“Tie.” 

“I taught you.” You set your plate down.  

“Tie.” You roll your eyes and pat your thighs. He walks over to you and places his dirt caked shoe on your lap. Slowly, you tie them.  

“There, see? Come on now, you need to learn. A little boy can’t grow without tying his shoes.” 

“I’m not little boy.” You give a breathy chuckle. “Of course you are, honey.” 

  He leans in close to your face. “I’m older than you.”  

...He does hang out with Phinks, who is a couple years older than you. In fact, it is rare to see them apart. Is it possible that it’s true? Is Phinks the type to be friends with someone who is younger?

 Curious, you ask, “Then why are you so short?” His eyes widened in shock. Then, strangely, he laughs while patting your head harshly. Studying his face revealed what looks like the beginning of a sinister smile.

  He looks at your plate and sits down in front of you. You’re both on the dirt floor. 

 “Give me.” You scoff and snap at him. “No! Find your own!” 

The little beast decided that the two of you should ‘share’. He smacks on his food, making you want to punch him repeatedly. He’s gaunt and bony, but not really bad like last time. His face has a tiny bit of roundness to it. 

  “Stop staring.” He inhales a tomato. “You look better than last time.”

“Better?” He cocks his head to the side. The remnants of the tomato smeared a little on his cheek.

“Yeah, healthier.” He stares at you for a second. “Thanks.” His accent is thick, and you still can’t place it. Nevertheless, you understand. Afterwards, much to your surprise, he sleeps in your hut now that his belly is full. Satisfied and strangely not afraid, you follow suit. It’s nice to have a friend, however strange.

You are barely awake, sleep still heavy in your eyes, when you see him pop up. Drool is crusted on his cheek, and he rubs his eyes. He yawns and then spots you next to him. Feitan eyes the entry of the hut then back at you. He puts the only cover you have on you then pets your head. 

  Before he leaves, he places his bat in your hand. Feitan secures the entry as he exits the hut. 

_____________

  It’s been years since you and Feitan have talked. You've gotten familiar with him but when Sarasa had died in such a disrespectful and gruesome way, he withdrew. In the meantime, you waited for him and studied a power you discovered. No matter the eyes that were always on you, you didn’t care about the mysterious and hidden audience. 

  You don’t know what it’s called but it started when you witnessed some kid about to get her ass handed to her by some thugs. The man had moved a pair of scissors without using his hands. They aimed right towards her and in a moment of instinct, you rushed to push her out of the way. Unfortunately, the scissors stabbed you in the shoulder.  

  It was then did you feel the rush of a force so strong, that it knocked everyone away from you. A faint white light that glowed from your skin that only your eyes could see. As you looked around in shock, you saw that same glow coming from that man and his friends. 

  You were gasping when you fell to your knees. “I-I’m sorry. I can’t be here!” The girl your age ran for her life and left you behind. In a moment of fear, you call out to her to help you. You were so afraid; you couldn't tell if the screams were hers or yours. Given the situation, you were too rattled, terrified and hurt, to focus.

The men shook for a second then got up to face you. The blood from your shoulder wasn’t stopping its flow. Crimson red stained your clothes and the ground. It was all so strange, such an unusual feeling of adrenaline that you couldn’t help but memorize. Almost as if the world had finally made sense. Every single thing became so much clearer to your dismay.  

  The men came towards you with malicious intent. While putting pressure on your injury, you managed to kick one of their legs, causing them to buckle and hurt his knee. He screamed in agony. 

  “G-get away!” You try to stand. The press of your hand on the wound isn’t helping. Is it supposed to bleed this much? It hit your shoulder, but did it nick something?  

  You need to stop it, to heal and get away from them. In this city, people like you are in danger from men like them. If you don’t get away, you’ll end up like Sarasa. She was never really close to you. She was a nice girl who always looked for video tapes, so you'd help her from time to time. Yet, her death scarred everyone since it was so close to home. And now, you no doubt are facing the exact same situation. Wrong place, wrong time.  

   Same fate.  

You fell back on the ground and looked at the sky. It has always been so dirty, just like the city due to pollution. Still so young, you know you won’t see what it really looks like. In the corner of your eye, you spot something green. A small clover with four leaves. 

  One time, an old man told a story of how four-leaf clovers are a sign of good luck. By the intense feeling and pressure of your eyes, you know it’s not true. Pain in all ways makes tears fall from your eyes. Lips wobbling at how unfair everything is and that you will never see the sun. The outside must really be heaven, and for someone so young who hasn’t committed a sin, you are wondering if you can go.

  Suddenly, flowers that you never knew blossomed around you. The soft petals touched your filthy skin and got rid of the aches. The blood on your shoulder faded from view as well as the pain. A soft and beautiful hum whispered in your ear. You truly believed it to be in your head, an imagination of paradise as you leave. Heaven, they call it. You must be close to the outside world then. 

  This must be it, you thought. There was no pain from a strike or fear. Just closed eyes and peace. Something you know you couldn’t get in the atrocious city.  

It ends. You were shocked as the beautiful flowers disappeared. Heaven, would you reject someone? 

  The men didn’t hurt you. The one whose knee was broken was able to move his leg. His red hair kind of glowed in the sun, and brown eyes were wide. He muttered a soft ‘thank you’ and walked away without a limp. His friends followed.  

   After that, you had realized that your ability wasn’t anything like scissors or something scary. It was to heal and be healed.

Although after immediately learning this, you didn't go out of your way to find the source of the screams in the direction the people went. First was the girl, then the group of men. After what you went through, it didn't seem like a good idea. 

 Feitan, somehow, got wind of it. Now in his later teen years you both estimate, he sits still and points to his arm. There’s a gnarly gash oozing blood. You wonder how he’s not feeling this and if he is, how he isn’t even fazed.  

  You gently pick up his arm and inspect it. He's thin but has clear definition in his arms. You haven’t seen him in so long that you are surprised by his growth. Hell, he’s taller now. Still short, but at least he grew.  

  In a jar, you take a premade petal. This is a way for you to save energy and reach people when you physically can’t tend to. Acting as a pill, you make sure that people can get infections out. For some reason, illnesses and infections are particularly tricky and tiring for you.  

  “Eat this, Feitan.” He frowns. “No.” You sigh. “It’s infected. You need to eat this so I can heal it right.” 

  “It’s not.”   

Rolling your eyes you bring his wound to his face. “This, this is infected. It's literally oozing pus.” How long did this go on? Was he really that hesitant to just come and see you?

  He growls and takes the delicate petal and places it in his mouth. “Stop pouting.”  

“Not pouting. It’s nasty.” He’s not wrong. It has a bitter taste and when chewed, a slimy texture. The color of the disintegrating petal leaves a stain in the mouth as well. If not for the benefits, no one would even bother. They'd be just as offended as Feitan.  

  The pus stops and clears up. “Alright, this’ll leave a scar.”  

You blow on your hand so that flowing blossoms surround him. Beautiful shades of pink and white go through his hair. With a gentle caress, you see the flurries touch his wound. It starts to encourage his own healing.  

  As much as you want to do the full thing, you’re tired. All day you’ve been working and collecting payments. Not to mention facing the disappointment of them being useless. You want to kick yourself for not getting paid first. But the sight of those grateful people and healed kids softens your heart.  

  Soon, it stops once the injury becomes manageable. You’re about to wrap it when a hand stops you. “What’s this?”  

  “Feitan, I'm tired. You caught me at a bad time.” You try to move your hand but he stops you. He's a lot stronger than you remember. “Heal.” 

His fluency isn’t the greatest still.  

“I’m tired! Just let it heal the rest of the way.” No matter how much you try to yank your hand away, his grip is too strong. “Please, Feitan...”  

  Surprisingly, he lets go and from what you can see, the subtle white glow appears and heals him the rest of the way, leaving small flames. “Feitan...what was that?” 

  He rolls his eyes and plops down on a chair. He says nothing and just relaxes, or at least that’s what he’s trying to make it seem like. It has been a while since you’ve seen him, but that doesn’t make you blind to his behaviors…sometimes. 

   “As a transmuter, I can heal a little by using enhancer,” He looks at you suspiciously. “You know nothing about nen?”

“Nen?” You put the gauze and other items in a black bag. It was found in the safe zone by the church. Apparently, it belonged to a doctor from the outside. The bag had all kinds of necessities. Gauze, medicine, some syringes, disinfectant, a thermometer, all kinds of stuff that you’ve had to use sparingly. What you save in the bag, you make up for with your ability. 

  He smacks his lips and calls you a ‘dumb brat’. “You use nen but don’t know it?”

Sighing, you ask, “What is nen, Feitan?” 

“What you do. Use your aura and stuff.” His arms are crossed, and he looks at you expectantly. You gather that he likes knowing things you don’t. It’s like a weak power trip. 

  But it is nice to finally have a name and explanation for it. And that’s what he did this time. Visiting you for a moment just to pick with you while teaching you something you should have known. 

“Wait, if you could do that, why’d you come here?” He just shrugs.

------

When you see him again, he brings his friends along. You immediately recognize some of them. Phinks, who ran with Feitan, the boy who always collected books, and Uvogin, the giant who was always claiming territory and beating people up. 

  Feitan should be twenty now. It’s hard to tell since he looks youthful. He points to his friend, the boy with the books, and orders, “Heal.”

“You can do it, Feitan, remember?” You were in the middle of cleaning when he and the rest of his posse pop up. They look flustered and a little worse for wear. 

  “Heal.” He always does crap like this. You roll your eyes at first. The body they carry tugs on your strings a bit. 

“Fine. Put him on the table.” Thankfully, it’s cleaned, and a new wrapping has been placed on it. Gently, the man is put on it. You spot the cross tattoo on his forehead. Ah, that’s where Feitan has been. Lately, there’s been whispers of the Phantom Troupe. Merciless killers and thieves from Meteor City that have been gaining respect over the years. Your opinion of them isn’t the greatest but it also isn’t the worst. You appreciate them for standing up for Meteor City, but their methods are questionable.

   You sigh and begin to undress the boy with the cross. “Is that necessary?” 

You continue to pull off his clothes, not bothering to answer the question the girl asked. If she can’t understand why you need to remove his clothes, then that’s on her. She scoffs after another female voice answers her question. 

  You finally see his wound. Feitan can heal himself to a degree, but you don’t think this guy can. The gash is deep and sewed with makeshift stitches. There’s no nen involved, surprisingly. Given that Feitan is an avid user, you thought his friends would be keen on it too. 

“He’s a specialist. Enhancer techniques are harder for him.” Phinks spoke. He must've understood your confusion. 

“And the stitches?” You gently investigate the area. It’s an angry red around it and, like you suspected, infected. It wasn’t properly taken care of. You begin to remove the stitches. You wonder what the thread is made of and how long this has been going on. 

“He,” Phinks points to Uvogin. “And him,” He then points to another large man with long ears. “Thought they could do it. Normally, Machi heals us but they were away from her. Her stitches would have helped him but not any infections.”

  “Ah, well this requires more than I thought.” You touch the ground and out comes a beautiful swirl of flowers. Underneath the moving petals is a blooming sunflower. It picks the guy up so he rests on it. The bed of the flower glows softly and becomes warm. His once wincing face is now peaceful. His injury is slowly closing and the red is beginning to turn pink. 

“The downside of this is that it takes a while. It’ll be all healed up in about an hour or so.”

“ An hour?” Uvogin, who has abandoned his afro and traded it for long standing hair. “Feitan, I thought you said she was good? We could’ve gone to that one guy and got it done right then and there.”

“She’s the best. Wait.” His hands are in his pockets and he moves. Feitan looks around and touches whatever he pleases. You try not to focus on his compliment. You wonder if the reason he moved from your line of sight is because he got embarrassed. If so, you won’t tease him. The Troupe are killers, afterall. 

   You start to feel the weight of your nen. This technique requires more effort than the others. Feitan explained it to you but you never did get the hang of it. You just know what to do instinctively. You were proud that you could do any of this without a teacher.

 What you’re sure of is that this man, whatever his name is, is giving you a crap ton of money after this or there’ll be hell to pay. 

   You feel something tickling the side of your face. The wrapper is red and unopened. You take the energy bard gratefully. “Thank you, Feitan.”

A couple of the Troupe members complain about the time. Machi or Mochi or whatever, the pink haired one, especially complains and criticizes for some reason. You have never seen this person before in your life yet here she is pouting. 

  “You okay?” You see the blond boy with big blue eyes study you closely. He moves closer to your face. A smile never leaves his face. Before you can answer, Feitan, who hasn’t left your side since you ate the bar, answers for you. 

“She’s fine. I’m watching her.”

You hear a couple of snickers. Feitan glares daggers at the offenders. You take a deep breath and ignore the friends who decided to crowd inside your hut. The boy with the forehead tattoo lies peacefully. Although you are running out of steam, his wound is healing nicely. One of the women, you believe it’s Pakunoda, comes to you and bends down. 

“Can I get you anything?” You discover that your throat is absolutely parched. “Some water, please.”

  If you remember correctly, the last you saw of her was when her head was shaved and some outsider kid did it. She had always kept it short. And now, it’s on her shoulders and very sleek. Over the years she’s drastically changed.

  You drink the water, which to your surprise, is clean. “Hey, how did this happen anyway?”

  “Don’t ask questions.” Feitan quickly shuts you down. Before you can ask anything more, you notice the entire group of friends are quiet. 

  “It’s nothing for you to worry about, okay?” You nod at the blonde boy with blue eyes and a permanent smile. Completing the hour, the tattoo guy is up. He’s immediately impressed. “My name’s Chrollo Lucilfer. Yours?” He puts out his hand for you to shake. 

  “Yeah, the book collector-theater nerd-kid, right? My name’s-” Before you can even answer, Feitan does it for you. 

  He gives your name and how your Nen works. He’s quick with it, too. You side eye Feitan for a second. “Thanks, Feitan. I, uh, really needed a spokesperson.”

“Ah, I guess it can’t be helped then, Feitan?” There’s tension in the air. It’s thick and heavy. By the looks of it, neither one is backing down. “Um, it’s not a big deal that he answered for me, you do know that, right?”

  Seconds pass through this. You look around for anyone to intervene with this. Whatever the hell is going on, it’s deep. “Since Fei explained it, why not have her join?”

“Positions are filled.” Chrollo still stares directly into Feitan’s eyes. Phinks nervously chuckles, once again trying to defuse the situation. “Fei, come on. No fighting. Right boss?”

  Suddenly, it’s lifted. Chrollo has what looks like a practiced smile on his face. “That’s true. That’s a rule.”

  Chrollo takes a glance at you. “She obviously means a lot to you. Clearly, she’s an asset, too.”

  “I’m right here, jackass.” Feitan smacks you on the head. “I’ll handle her.” 

  The others sigh in relief. Momentarily, you’re a little offended. “It was nice meeting you.”

They exit your hut right after, leaving Feitan behind. “So. those were your friends, huh?”

“Watch tongue.” You smack your lips and roll your eyes. There is blood on the floor and on the table. The furniture is in disarray due to all of his friends having no home training.  “I haven’t seen you in forever and this is how you greet me?”

 He frowns. “I say hello all the time.” You turn to him. “When? I didn’t see you.”

Feitan huffs and kicks the ground lightly. You get up to move the furniture back to place. Your movements are slow and everything seems so much heavier. Everything is swirling right before your eyes. Your head hurts and yet feels so light. Before you meet the ground, Feitan takes you to the couch and lays you down. 

  “I haven’t seen you in so long, little boy…” Those were the last words you say before you drift to sleep. 

Hours later, you wake up at the sound of birds. There is a beautiful blue blanket on you with golden yellow designs. It’s thick and so warm you could stay forever. You’ve never owned anything like this. 

  Slowly you get up and search for Feitan. He’s nowhere to be found much to your dismay. Last night’s conversation still stays with you. He insisted that he says hello all the time. That he sees you regularly, yet, you haven’t seen him at all. 

  The blanket, the wind chime, the medical supplies, the various decorations with stones, paint and if you weren’t smart, you’d say gold. Could Feitan have been the one to give you gifts? Silently watching over you and in his own way, saying hello? You have felt like you were being watched for years. 

____________

  “Do you understand why I didn’t welcome you?”

“No, and I never will. Now please, leave me alone.” You feel convicted by turning a man of God away, but can he truly be one when he left a child to suffer? You were in the cold, wind, and rain, alone in one of the worst parts of the city. All you had was Feitan, and he was there once in a blue moon. After the rejection from the church, you took it upon yourself to care for others as no one had ever cared for you. Although hurt and afraid, you chose not to spread that toxicity. You decided that no matter the size of change, it still works. 

 However, you will not fall prey to the same people. For instance, that girl you saved and this priest. How can he expect your services with no repentance or atonement? You forgive, but like hell will you forget. 

Damn…you were so sure you were over the pain of your past. That the change you made within yourself and how you treat people so no one else suffers like you, would stick. Alas, all it takes is one person to bring it down. You want to kick yourself because of the regression. Then again, the hostility isn’t your fault.

You walk into the hallway with small statues, stone walls, and large windows. The sun shines brightly through them, making the church seem prettier than it is.

“Please-”

“She said no.” Feitan stands with his hands in his pockets, the sun shining on his pale skin. It has been a few months since the incident with Chrollo. You haven’t seen any of them but have felt eyes on you, which you have deduced was Feitan. However, you learned the truth of the blanket. The name stitched on it belonged to an old clan, the Kurta, that was mutilated, tortured, and murdered by the Phantom Troupe. It disgusts you. The blanket is comfortable but still. 

Feitan, the boy who you taught to tie his shoes, gave you a trophy of his crime. You wanted to burn it, or bury it in the memory of the Kurta, yet you couldn’t. It’s a gift from the one consistent person in your life. Your protector and giver. So, you folded it and put it in a box. 

   Now, here he is like he’s done nothing wrong. Defending you and putting the man that’s been with the city for ages in his place. You’re shocked at his behavior. 

  “Feitan, surely you must understand!” 

“Shut up.” Father Rizole took a step back in surprise. Feitan was one of his regulars, if you remember correctly. This must be a surprise for the aging priest. 

You hum at the scene. Even though the rumors of what the Troupe has done bothers you, it doesn’t mean you aren’t opposed to the benefits. The priest backs up and sighs. 

“If you ever reconsider, please, let me know. We could use your help.”

“I could’ve used it too.” You end the conversation there and leave. Feitan soon follows you. He’s silent on his feet and very fast. Feitan was behind you but his quick feet caught up in less than a second. Now, he walks right at your side. 

“So, you just decide when you want to see me?” 

Feitan shrugs. “I don’t know.” 

Sighing, you turn to him and ask, “What do you need this time?” The lower half of his face is hiding under a plain cowl now. His eyes show all of the emotion needed. “I just hang out.”

  The sun is too hot for this nonsense. Sweat trickles down your face and back, becoming sticky. “So that’s why you’re here, right? I’m shocked.”

Before he can say your name, you continue. “Oh! And let's not forget the little massacre that took place, huh? Yeah, being used to heal your friend from that was really fun.”

“I didn’t.”

 You roll your eyes. “No, just that one guy. That’s who to you, again?”

“Boss.” You scoff at his short answer. Then, you think about the possibility. “Your boss? Then…doing that to the Kurta, wasn’t your idea, was it?”

“No, not mine.” His hands remain in his pockets. His hair blows in the wind slightly. You realize he hasn’t gotten a haircut in a while. 

“If you could, you know, go back in time…would you still do it?”

“Yes.” No hesitation, no thought put into the answer. Just a plain as day answer and a tone that leaves no room for an explanation. 

“So whatever he wants he just gets? As long as it aligns with your twisted mind, right?”

  His eyes grow darker. “I save you.”

You point to the church. “No, no you didn’t. That guy wasn’t going to do anything to me. I had it handled.”

Shaking your head, you go to leave until a hand wraps around your wrist. “Boss takes nen. I didn’t let him.”

  Was that what that was? That tension that day that was suffocating? Remembering that day, you start to form pieces. “Would he hurt you if you didn’t go along with his schemes?”

“No.” 

Well there goes that idea. “Nevermind.”

You try to yank your wrist from his grip, but it’s iron tight. “Let me go!”

“I protect you, always. Bad people here, everywhere. I get dirty for you.” His face is indifferent but his words give it away. The plea for you to understand and realize, dare you say, his devotion to his friends. Does this include you?

Is that what it is? What friendship, this connection is? You are aware of the deeds the Troupe do. You understand why they thought it would be a good idea (somewhat anyway). 

“Thank you, then.” He lets go of your wrist which was grabbed painfully tight. He trades that in for holding your hand instead. You are shocked at first, but if you make it a big deal, he’ll stop. You don’t want him to right now. 

  Not when you feel safe. You still want to kick yourself… and maybe throw in a punch.

_____

Apparently, the Troupe have gone their separate ways for now. They don’t cling onto each other for a long period of time after a job. It’s better that way since it has a lesser chance of them getting caught. They still hang out from time to time, though. 

For you, you managed to get out of Meteor City after the argument with the priest. Feitan had gone to do another heist with Phinks, if you remember right. You took that moment to skip town. You never wanted to stay in the trash, anyway. 

  And you were right to! Everything you thought of as a child about the world outside was true! Sure, people can be rude and things can be corrupt, but you’re fed and resting. There are bright lights and kind people. It can be clean and the soap smells so good. Just the other day you got to experience a nail salon. Rather than stealing from you, the lady next to you, Jade, talked about her family. Her daughter is Ruby and her wife is Scarlet. Jade and Scarlet want another child. You offered the name Emerald. 

  In Meteor City, you would’ve had to fight. Now, you are making friends and offering beautiful names. It’s a stark contrast that is fully welcomed. 

  The sun is bright and the moon is sometimes round. It doesn’t always attract evil and can sometimes sing such a beautiful melody. There are pearls and diamonds. There are seasonings that make the food taste unbelievably good. It’s all expensive, but infinitely better than Meteor. 

And Nen is a secret here. In the city, many knew about it and used it without discretion. Here it’s different. Like a secret identity for a hero. Your nen in particular isn’t used as much as it was before. Your ability was so tiring. Pretty and incredibly useful, but exhausting nonetheless. 

  It has been a few years since you saw him, but he’s seen you. He found you quickly, too. When you came home from your office job (which you are still ecstatic about, by the way) you noticed a new painting in your house. It was dull and in black and white. The painting is of a few plants that take the center stage. Actually, they’re your nen plants. In the background is what looks like your old city. Piles of rubbish and polluted air in black swirls. There are clouds above and a dark sun barely poking out. 

  It’s sad. Beautiful, but sad. You have wondered what he meant by it. You open the door to your apartment. It’s not much and one day you want to get a house. 

  The keys make a jingle when you set them on the countertop. The apartment is still dark, so you scramble to flip the switch. “Why you leave?”

You scream at the top of your lungs. Standing there nonchalantly is Feitan, who you haven’t had contact with in a hot minute. His hair is even longer than before. He wears a new cowl that has a skull on it over his face. His trench coat looks a little too big for him but he wears it well anyway. 

  “Uh, because I live here? What are you doing here?” You set your bag down and take off your short heels. Although he’s a murderer, you still feel safe with him. 

 He takes slow strides towards you. “ Why? I looked for you and you weren’t there.”

“You knew where I was. I got your presents,” You point to the painting. He hides his face a little in the fabric. “I like it by the way. Did you do it?”

“Shut up.” You sigh and walk into your kitchen. “I’ll make you something to eat.”

 You begin to wash the rice. Your eyes switch from looking down to taking obvious glances at him. Right about now, he should be in his mid twenties. It’s amazing how long you’ve known each other. You remember him as that kid who didn’t know how to tie his shoes and him teaching you about Nen. Time flies so fast when you least expect it. 

  You crack the eggs and whisk them. The sound of the utensil against the bowl and the sizzle of the tomatoes in the pan is all that is heard. Feitan doesn’t make one sound. He opts to stare at you working and even has a glint in his eye which you think could be satisfaction. 

  “Do you still like this, by the way? I remember you snatching it.” You try not to smile at the memory. 

 “I do.” He hovers in your kitchen, just waiting, watching you do all of the work. Stingy bastard. After adding the seasonings, you could have never gotten in Meteor City, you fix him a plate. He happily accepts it and sits down on the floor. 

“I have a tab-” Oh, the memory. Allowing yourself to smile, you sit with him and eat off of his plate. “We’re sharing. ”

 He gives a slight growl but doesn’t do anything. “So, what brings you by?”

“I say hello.” You hum with a mouth full of food. “Well, hello to you too, little boy.”

He gives you a light kick. The two of you finish the plate. Both full, you just lay back and talk. 

“How long are you staying?” 

“Not long.” You’ll miss him. “Running from the cops again?”

“Need to hide out for a bit.” You nod, accepting his answer and that your connection will probably always be sweet moments. “It’s nice to have you here, even only for a moment.”

  Feitan taps you again with his foot. “I’m always here. I say hello all the time.” You know and are fully aware of what he means. His odd little gifts decorate your house. To bones, to rugs, even a china set he stole. It’s routine for him to give you something, even when you don’t see him. 

“Even though you run.” He kicks you again. The more you watch him, the more your chest tightens. He’s the only consistent thing in your life. Everything is fleeting. Your job is new as well as your relationship with your coworkers. But there is a line with them. Feitan is different.

  “How long are we going to do this dance?”

“I don’t dance.” You roll your eyes and laugh. “I mean you coming by once in a blue moon.” 

  He shrugs. “I don’t know.” You nod. “Figures.”

He frowns. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, that this whole thing is tiring. You come and go like some kind of feral cat.”

  “So?”

You sputter, “ So I don’t appreciate it.” He takes off his long coat and reveals his chest, next goes his shoes. “I sleep here.”

“You can’t use me!” He gets up and goes in the direction of your room. “Feitan!” You pick up his clothes and set them aside. “Do you hear me? I wasn’t done talking!”

  On your bed is a sprawled out Feitan. He looks at you with squinted eyes. “Shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”

  Like always, he makes himself at home. You sigh, giving up on trying to talk to him. “Move over.” 

  He scoffs and reluctantly moves out of your way. You feel him tense up as you lay down. “This is my bed. I can sleep here.”

  You face each other as you lay down. Neither of you say anything about how close you are. This is probably the closest you’ve ever been since you helped him tie his shoes the second time. You feel his eyes on you, making you nervous. “Stop staring at me.”

  “Never sleep with someone in a while.” You know. The last time was with you, no doubt. At the time, you didn't think about it, if you remember correctly. It's hard to tell since it's been so long. 

“The couch is that way.” He smacks his lips. “No, you go.” You open your eyes. 

“Like I said, this is my bed.” Feitan doesn’t say anything about your ownership. Instead, he’s honest with you. “I’m tired.”

  Instantly, you start to feel a little bad. In the city, no child was ever able to fully sleep. It was too dangerous, especially in the more dangerous districts. Him being honest about his state, you take it as a step. 

  “If you want to, I’ll be on the lookout.” His hands are next to yours. You grab them, just like he did those few years ago. “You can sleep now, Feitan.” 

  You don’t know when, don’t know how either, but you two do end up sleeping. His eyes are closed and his breath even. Your eyes flutter open and see that he’s got slight dark under eyes and his mouth leaking drool. Feitan looks peaceful, sleepy, like he hasn’t done this in a while. 

  The next morning, he’s gone with no evidence he was even there.

_________________

  You watch on the tv screen above the bank about the attack on York New, a city not too far from you. The attack happened a few days ago but it’s still in the headlines. You don’t blame them, to be honest. It was an insane event that over two thousand people died! 

  You cling onto your boyfriend’s arm. He touches your hand reassuringly. His watch gleams in the moonlight and his suit is perfectly pressed. He's the entire package, he’s perfect. A good job, good manners, an honest man, and treats you well, too. He always holds the chair out for you and gets up when you leave the room. Just like a true gentleman. 

  When you first met, it was a classic coffee shop romance. Then it blossomed into a romantic and expensive dinner, the movies, a nighttime walk in the park, all of the classic dates. In every single one of them he was the perfect gentleman, the perfect man. You like him and how he treats you. How consistent he is. He's the type of man you can rely on. 

  Nevertheless, there is a bothersome voice in the back of your head that reminds you of someone he just isn’t. He’s not Feitan Portor. You don’t feel the contentment Feitan gives when the two of you sleep. You don’t study your boyfriend’s features like you did Feitan.

Dammit, why are you thinking of him? He’s not around and you haven’t seen him in what? Two or three years? So why think of him now. Plus, you haven’t received a gift or a ‘hello’ from him. For all you know, he could be dead.

  “Are you alright?” You wake from your thoughts and look at your boyfriend. His hair is dark, blending in with the night. Eyes kind and green, a Grecian nose, and average sized lips revealing a dazzling smile. Not only is the very essence of him suave, but his looks are also perfect. Tall and handsome, well dressed and a smooth voice. 

It's just that one five foot one pest that won’t get out of your head. 

  “Y-yeah just…it’s all so shocking. York New is literally over there.” You point past the river where more tall buildings reside in the distance.

“I know, I know.” He brings you in close to him. He places a kiss on your head. “Don’t worry, nothing will happen to you.” 

Suddenly, the newscaster stops mid sentence and gasps. Before you know it, the Phantom Troupe have been named the offenders that caused all of this. Two thousand people. Feitan, did you really kill that many people?

“I would like to go home. I don’t feel the greatest.” He rubs your arm, you still being tucked into his side. Your excuse was a lie to cover the gnawing feeling towards Feitan and his deeds. Although the Phantom Troupe’s original intentions were from a decent stand point, it seems they’ve lost their way. Feitan has lost his way. 

  The gifts have stopped coming, him no longer saying hello. After the last time, when you made him familiar food and sat in a comfortable silence, he disappeared. This time, there was something about it that hurt. Like he didn’t want to come around. He didn’t want to say hello anymore. Or perhaps, he died which if confirmed, you would ache beyond help. 

  “The Phantom Troupe is dead.” The newscaster said. The crowd gasped, shocked that the most feared criminals in the world are gone. Did you jinx it? Curse the little boy who needed you to tie his shoes. The boy who liked your cooking and made sure you rested. Had strong faith in you, never doubting. Protected you from the shadows and held your hand. 

  Is he really gone? 

You hide your face in your boyfriend’s jacket. Tears stream from your eyes at the thought of his grave. With the Troupe, his friends dead, you’d be the only one to truly mourn him. To remember his name beyond his violence. 

You clutch your chest. “Are you okay? Does your chest hurt?” He grabs you by your shoulders, making you face him. He’s such a kind, decent man. But he’s not Feitan Portor. 

  “I just need to rest. I’ll call you tomorrow.” You give him a chaste kiss goodbye. Once he leaves, your chest hurts even more. You slide down as you look around at all the menace’s little gifts. The painting, the skull, the windchimes, everything he’s given you. Why, oh why, couldn’t you stay here long enough for your gift, Feitan?

Wait, what could you have given him anyway? He’s a thief that takes what he pleases and has nothing to wish for. 

You lay on your couch and put your arm over your face. The tears refuse to stop for even just a second. You don’t know what you’re crying harder for. Feitan or the confusing feelings for him. Now that he’s gone, you can’t properly tell him. How can you explain it? 

  It’s heavy on your chest and tightens it. You want to feel his body heat no matter how hot the day is. There are no small flutters in your stomach at the thought of him. No, it's something in your heart. You want to stare at him, to memorize every feature he has. To hear his soft voice that is just a centimeter away from a whisper. Just melt in his touch, his presence. Wait, why is this happening? You barely knew him! Does that fact even matter though?

 You slip your hand in your underwear, still staring at the ceiling, sniffling at the news of his death. You imagine the future. Seeing him walk into your house and setting his belongings on the table. Wrapping his arms around you and kissing your back. No matter how long you’ve known him, his stature never fails to amuse you. He’d paw at your body, tearing off your clothes. Feitan wouldn’t hesitate to use his hands for your pleasure. 

  You trace your fingers in the direction you think he’d go. Curling your fingers inside, thrusting them in harshly, knowing that he can only be gentle in his own way. Your back arches from the couch. You swear you can smell him and the faint metallic scent that he holds. The feeling of his ragged breath on your cheek you could swear is real. 

  You moan as you take that jump you’ve searched for. Thinking of how good Feitan would make you feel. You're relentless on yourself, still going as strong as he’d be. Adding another finger, going faster and faster on your clit. Your moaning gets louder as the indiscernible amount of time goes on. 

‘ The Phantom Troupe is dead.’

You crash on the couch with one last gasp. The dream of the two of you ends in flames. The house, the passion, the years that go by in that home. Maybe even a child or two. Seeing him in the morning with a groggy voice is gone. Rubbing his eyes and saying he wants more eggs and tomatoes is no longer there.

  What would your gift be to Feitan? Memories? Sex? Food? Nothing fits. He can have those with anyone. 

  You slip yourself out from your underwear. It didn’t distract you. Perhaps if you thought of your boyfriend, it would have. But the feelings you have towards Feitan went beyond physical. What is this? What do you call this?

  Love? Time stops at the realization. It has to be that. That would have been your gift to him. Love. You cover your mouth as you admit it to yourself. 

'I love you Feitan Portor. I won’t forget you. I love your messed up hair and soft voice. For how you didn’t reject me when the world did. I will do the same for you. I’ll look past your torturous ways and miss you anyway. Maybe the world will curse you, but I’ll mourn you. Bury you so no one can spit on you anymore. I love you Feitan. 

   I’m in love with you Feitan Portor. This is my gift to you. For you to know that you will not be forgotten even though I never got to tell you, to thank you for everything. For leaving the baseball bat with me to protect myself. For painting that picture for me. All of the little gifts you thought I’d like, too. Thank you for protecting me from the priest and the wolves that hunted me every day when we were young.'

You stare at the ceiling till the earliest of mornings. It’s still dark, still heavy with the night sky. There’s some rumbling in the distance, a flash of light in the sky. You don’t bother to confirm anything. 

Just as you close your eyes, the window opens with a creak. You move your eyes to see the figure before you. The darkness covers it, only leaving the silhouette. “Why cry?”

You squint, trying to make out the features.  “Are you real?”

“Very.” It must be a lie. A cruel humor the world has. “Stop crying.” 

“I can’t. Not when you sound like him.” The figure cocks his head, that much you can see with the flash of lightning behind him. “Him?”

“Someone who can’t tie his shoes.” Your lip wobbles again. “I can tie them now.” The moon glows enough to show his face now as he steps up to you. Feitan’s delicate features peek out from his cowl. 

 You shake your head in denial. “It’s not real. It can’t be. You’re dead, Fei.” Your voice is hoarse from your sobs. 

  He looks shocked at your words. The man who looks like Feitan smacks your feet off the end of the couch so he can sit. 

“I’ll miss you Feitan Portor.” The longer you stare at the imaginary man, the more you hurt. “Well, stop.”

  He roughly wipes away the tears. “Ugly when you cry.” His face is close to yours. Since he’ll be gone by the time you come to your senses, you grab his face and kiss him. He sharply inhales, not expecting your sudden decision. 

  He growls against your lips, “Stupid brat.” 

  He feels real. He smells real, familiar too. You tell him such and with furrowed brows and a strong grip of his hand, he grabs your jaw and makes you look at him. “I’m real, you idiot.”

“They said you died…” You comb his hair through your fingers. It’s real, he's real . So, what’s going on? Before you can ask him, he cradles you. “Stop crying or I’ll go.”

  Your lips wobble at his threat. Rather than listening to it, you hug him. He nestles on top of you, hips placed between yours. He’s light, lighter than you thought so it isn’t a bother.

  “You’re so ugly when you cry. Don’t cry.” He holds you closer and kisses your head. Against your ear, you feel his lips move. You can’t tell what he’s mouthing. When the two of you comfortably slept those years ago, that was the closest you’ve been. Now, this beats that record. Face to face, body to body, and sharing breaths. 

  After a few moments of thunder and lightning, he kisses you gently. Not at all like the desperate one like before. Realistically, you know these feelings you have for him seem fake. You’ve only had a few moments with him. So, why are they so significant? Are they with him too? Is it possible that love can blossom quickly?

  Gentle kisses turn passionate, never wanting to separate. Little nibbles on the right places and sucks on all of the best ones. Clothes leave, not wanting to get between the two friends, those who dance around each other. For the first time, they meet. 

His hands reach your throat as he kisses you, making sure to give it a light squeeze. His weight is still on you, not hurting in the slightest. Feitan makes sure his hand reaches below and swirls his thumb on your bud. You gasp, surprised you were right about how he’d do it. Every ministration he does is exactly how it was pictured. Your hands don’t compare to it. Not by a long shot. 

  Despite his size, his hands are still bigger than yours. They reach deeper than you and are thicker too. In no time, you come, the bliss lasting a good minute before he sheathes himself inside. His thickness is more than you thought. It’s a bit of a stretch, but in a good way. 

  His gasps quicken with every thrust. You can tell that you're being loud, way louder than when you touched yourself. Feeling the rush and strength of his movements has you claw his back in ecstasy. He groans at the sensation. Finally, after this time of passion and intimacy, you both hold each other as you fall off of that cliff.

  Feitan looks into your eyes. With a softness that no one in the world could’ve predicted the torturer of the Phantom Troupe to have, kisses you. “Don’t cry anymore. Don’t cry.”

 “It’s hard not to when I know you’ll leave.” Silently, Feitan removes himself from inside you. It’s become routine, so you expect him to walk out. He lays back down, his head on your stomach. You run your fingers through his hair. He needs a haircut. 

--

 You wake up, not realizing that you went asleep in the first place. Before you can get up, you feel pressure on your stomach. Feitan rests on you still, eyes completely closed and his face peaceful. The two of you are naked and the only source of heat is each other. As much as you want to wrap your arms around him, you know he’ll react negatively or at least flinch. 

  Soon after, he stretches and rubs his face against your stomach. Like before, he drooled in his sleep. “Good morning.” 

He grunts in response and sits up on his heels. It takes him a moment to remember the night before. His eyes widen as he looks you up and down, making you highly aware of your current state. You cover yourself with a blanket draped over the couch. 

  “I have to go.” Ah, right. He’s a cat. 

He gets dressed. Once he has his boots on, you see him tie them the way you taught him. “Proud of you. You finally learned huh?”

 “Brat.” You laugh a little at him. Once he’s done you ask, “Will I ever see you again?"

He cradles your face. “I come back.” You nod, holding back tears. He studies your face and settles on your eyes. He must have realized that you were trying not to cry. His hands still remain on your face as he kisses you. He lingers there for a minute. A parting kiss, a meaningful one. 

  Something tells you that this feral cat isn’t going away anytime soon. That he’ll always be constant and you won’t be totally alone. A companion you won’t see everyday and only for a night. 

 This is the gift you’ll give him. You’ll be home for him. 

___________________

Months later, news about the Chimera Ants came out. You had already broken up with your boyfriend and heard he had left town to avoid them. Of course, you followed suit and got the hell out of there. 

  Without any plan, you moved back to Meteor City, where you thought that they wouldn’t be. Alas, that was stupid. You made a home base in the residential area. Not knowing that Meteor City was plagued by the wretched beasts. 

  By God’s grace, you managed to avoid them due to you being in the residential district. News that the Phantom Troupe were home to fight them ran rampant. The thought of Feitan made you nervous and you don’t know why. 

  Suddenly, right as you put away your dishes, the door opened. You grabbed a knife and faced the intruder. Standing there was the Phantom Troupe, who once again, barged into your home like they owned the place. 

  “What the hell?” You shout. The first one is Phinks with a wide smile. “There she is! Fei, I found her!”

  You put your hand on your hip. “Seriously, what are you doing her-you’re dragging in mud, take off your shoes!”

 “It’s only a little.” Phinks pouts. “I don’t care! You don’t live here.” 

Phinks and his friends grumble as they do as they’re told. The last one to enter the house is Feitan, who is notably holding his left arm. Without being told, he removes his shoes. 

  “Feitan…” He hasn’t faced you yet. “What happened to your arm?” 

“I’m injured too, (Y/n)!” The smiling boy with round eyes whines. You have no idea what his name is. Only that he and the rest are in Feitan’s gang. 

  “Alright, let me see.” He lays down on your clean table and says, “It’s all over. I need the full treatment!” 

  “Ugh, fine.” You grumble under your breath about the disrespect and your poor table. Finally, Feitan sits on one of the pushed aside chairs. He says, “I need it too.”

  “Big babies.” 

You heal the biggest cry baby completely. The blond, whose name you now know as Shalnark, stretches. “If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been hurting all day!”

  Rolling your eyes, you turn to Feitan who has been silent. He holds out his arm for you. You take the limb and inspect it. 

 “Completely shattered.” He grunts in agreement. He stares into your eyes and gives you a familiar slight smile. You notice that his friends are quiet, not a sound or word among them. 

“You guys alright?” You ask. The girl shakes her head yes and ‘whispers’ to the rest. “Should we leave them alone?”

  “Probably.” A mummy with boxing gloves answers. You’ve never seen him before in your life. 

“Uh, we’ll check the place out. Y’know, make sure it’s safe.” Shalnark shoos the little kid out and into a separate room, your bedroom. “We’ll clear this out in case you guys need it!”

  You huff and roll your eyes. Feitan’s cheeks are red and he’s glaring daggers at his friends. The girl goes outside with the remaining three to check the area. You and your feral cat are alone. 

“What are they checking for? I’m in a residential area.” 

“Ants.” 

  “They’re here? In the safe zone?” You begin to panic until he grabs your hand. “You’re safe now. They’re not in the city anymore.”

“Wha-how? What’s going on?”

  He pinches you lightly, encouraging you to heal his wounds. “Oh, right, right.” Flowers of all colors circle around. They begin to smooth over Feitan’s wounds. You take a second to wipe the blood off of his lip, letting there be some room for the petals to go. 

“How’s the other guy look?”

“She's toasted.” You smile. “Atta boy.”

  He’s healed, the petals and flowers disappear. You lick your lips at the sight of his bare chest. You didn’t notice before due to the audacity of these heathens barging in. 

  His heart rate quickens. “You leave again.”

You nod. “Yeah, yeah I did. I had to, Fei. the Chimera Ants invaded. I had to run.”

“With your boyfriend?”

You let out a small gasp. “ No. How do you know that?” He crosses his arms and leans back in the chair. “You lie.”

“I didn’t lie to you. I just never said anything.”

  “Words of a liar.” You scoff at him. “I did not lie to you. I lied to him. You don’t have any business with our relationship.”

At first, he was looking at his lap. Those grey eyes of his immediately found a new target to glare at. “You’re not with him anymore. ”

“No. Why does that matter?” He begins to tap his foot lightly. “Why did you break up?” 

  “You hungry?” You start to get up until you’re tugged down. “Why?”

When you don’t answer, he whispers in your ear. “Because I fucked you?” Your face is so warm. 

“If we run, we can still make it out.”

“Why are we running?” A small voice asks.

“Because I think they need the room.” 

“Will you two shut up?!” You are two seconds away from running out of your own damn house. You stand and his hands hold you by your hips. “Tell me why you leave him?”

  “Because of you.” It’s embarrassing to tell him your feelings. Hopefully, he can read your mind or something and shut up. He sighs and stands, walking over to you without a hitch. He kisses you. 

  “That’s what you get for lying.” He’s not remorseful or even boastful. Feitan takes your answer in stride. “No more leaving. Stay so I can find you.”

“You’ll always find me, remember?”

______________

Time after that, you were stuck in charge of Chrollo’s lover or something. She’s not too bad but clearly traumatized. Anytime you’d tell her to go with you, she’d look shocked. Like she was surprised she could leave. You were suspicious of her relationship with Chrollo. Something didn’t sit right with you whenever he or Feitan came up. She’d tense up. She never talked about it either. From what you understand with the little information you have, is that she was a former member that raised an orphan and that Chrollo loved her immensely. Perhaps too much.

  From what you know, there was a big showdown on the Dark Continent and the boat that was taking a voyage to the fake one. The Phantom Troupe were on that one at first, fighting Hisoka Marrow. He was a sore loser that got humbled and decided to attack again. 

  Amazingly, only a few died. You didn’t want to know the details or anything. You can’t go through that again. So, after that news, you and Chrollo’s lover parted ways. She went on to find a kid she raised. You, on the other hand, decided to settle out of Meteor City. This was almost a year ago.

  You have an apartment now in the town where you and your boyfriend lived, right next to York New. It’s basic, not fitting any aesthetic or anything. The good thing about it is that it’s bigger than your first one. It’s two bedroom and has a good price. 

   Feitan hasn’t reappeared. It tore you to shreds. You’ve managed to piece yourself together bit by bit, but you are a hollow version of yourself. Surviving and not enjoying the little things you used to. You even saw Jade, Scarlet, Ruby, and the new child, Emerald. Even that heartwarming moment didn’t fulfill you. However, it was the first time you smiled in a while. 

  You stir the food in the pot. Since it’s a little chilly, you made soup. You put the lid over the pot, letting it cook. There’s a knock on the door. You open it and see the man you’ve waited for. 

  Feitan is in dark clothing and has a large scar on his face. There’s no cowl over him, or a large trench coat. His hands are in his pockets, and he looks at you expectantly. You realize that you’ve just been standing there, you move to let him in. Once again, he makes himself at home. 

  “How’ve you been?” 

“You leave again.” He states bluntly. His eyebrows are furrowed and has a frown on his face. 

“Bold of you, very bold.” You move around him. “Why did you go?”

“Because I’d never stay in that city forever. The Ants were gone, the world settled. So why couldn’t I? That place is gross anyway.”

  He sits on the barstool and cracks his neck. You ask a question right after he sits. “How long you here for?”

You don’t know why you asked that. He’ll only be here for a moment. A while ago, you had made the decision to accept it as your gift to him. To love and mourn him when the world won’t. When news about the Phantom Troupe hit, you couldn’t bear to hear it. Their trip to the fake Dark Continent, then their corrected course to the right one, ended in a battle with them facing Hisoka and Illumi and everything else over there. 

  It was too hard for you to think about. That doesn’t mean you didn’t mourn and that you’ve snapped out of it.

   “For good.” 

You look up into his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he’s smiling with soft eyes. You see that he has a dimple on his left cheek. “W-what about-”

“Done for a while. Maybe forever. I know I’m staying.”

   “But your friends, where are they?” He shrugs even though you see the tension. “Separate. We split for a bit.” 

  He rubs his shoulders nervously. “Can I stay with you?” 

“Wow, you’re asking? Shocked.” You tap on the counter. The weight you’ve been carrying is lightened. “Feitan?”

“Yes?” He gets off of the stool and makes his way around the counter. “You know how you give me all those gifts?”

  He nods his head. “Well, this is my gift to you, Feitan Portor. You can stay as long as you like.” 

  He wraps his arms around you. He’s hugging you. This time, you aren’t afraid to hold him back and squeeze. Maybe, just maybe, this is what home is? 

  If the Phantom Troupe resurrects, at least you know he’ll always come home. That you two will be a constant force for each other. No matter if it does or doesn't, you two aren't dancing but admitting things you couldn't. This is home, a gift for each other.  

[alexa-yukiyu]

hey so idk if your requests are on but can you do a asl x sister!reader where instead of ace dying we die? we are the youngest and how about we add shanks reacting to our death cuz im pretty sure hes like a fauther figrure to the asl.

Sickly Cuddles ( ASL x sick!sister!reader x Shanks)

A/N: My poor heart cannot handle any type of death but I did not want you to go home empty handed so instead you get a sick scenario with the siblings +Shanks, this double dips as that one request I got for anon asking for Mihawk or Asl with sick reader, you get both : ).

Dividers by @/saradika

“Readerrrrr, Sabo is making breakfast. Are you coming? can I eat your portion?” Luffy calls, entering her room

“A-ah Luffy! I thought you guys were out today?” She nervously laughs

"We changed our plans and stayed here; now, will you come down for breakfast, or should I eat your share? Luffy asks

“You can…you can... Achoo!”

Luffy stares at her for a second, a smile slowly growing on his face as the seconds pass

“Luffy,” she calls warningly

“Don’t tell them!”

Luffy covers his mouth, hiding his smile from her; the next moment, he runs out. She can hear his voice shouting,

"Sabo! Ace!”

“Luffy!” She groans quickly, running towards her closet to hide. She loved her brothers, she truly did, but Sabo and Ace would not let her see the light of day if they caught on to her having a cold, and Luffy…well, Luffy would manage to find something to poke at regardless

“Ace! Sabo! Reader is sick!”

At the announcement, both flame men start heading to their sister's room, their loud steps resounding through the house

"Huh? Where is she?" Sabo asks, looking at the now-empty room

“Shishishi, She’s hiding again,” comments Luffy, watching his brothers hunt for his sister

"If you don't come out, we will come for you," adds Ace.

She peered through the cracks of the closet, looking as their brothers looked around the room, and prepared to search the house until the familiar itch started growing on her nose. She had tried to hold it, but eventually, the loud sneeze sounded around the room

She shrieks as the closet door opens. Ace entered trough and easily scooped her up, throwing her over his back

"Well, that was easy," Ace comments with an amused tone as he carries her.

Sabo quickly follows his brother with an amused face.

Luffy is laughing his guts out.

"Reader got caught."

Despite her efforts, she couldn’t help the laugh that came bursting from her at his antics

“Let go of me, Ace! Im feeling okay!”

"No, you're not," says Ace as he carries her.

"You're shivering! and you're red as a tomato," points out Sabo

She squeaks as he unceremoniously throws her on the bed, glaring at Ace in a joking manner, who just grins at her in response

“It’s just a little sneeze; it’s probably nothing, guys.”

“She was coughing all night,” cut in Luffy, poking his head in the room briefly, quickly darting out of sight as his comment was received with a pillow chucked his way, leaving with a trail of laughs behind him

“Traitor!” She hisses

Sabo shook his head with a smile, placing a gently kiss on her sister’s forehead, staying in said position for a few seconds, making all protests halt as she relaxed in his hold

“Hmm, you have a fever, too,” he said, backing away

“Yeah, you are burning up,” adds Ace as he checks her forehead

“You’re not going anywhere,” he says as Sabo’s holds becomes more firm

“But I had plans with Robin and Koala today!”

"Not today; you need to stay in bed," Sabo says sternly

"And we'll call them to tell them of the change in plans," Ace adds

“Please?” She begs, putting her hands together

"No, you're sick," replies Sabo, with Ace nodding beside him, making it very clear she has no choice in the matter.

She groans, dropping her head back into bed

“Luffy, go fetch some of the medicine for Reader,” Sabo calls to his little brother, making Luffy sprint off like he was just handed a race track

Ace sits by her side while Sabo opens the window, letting some of the cold winter air in.

“No! I can tough it out; no need for medicine.”

"You'll take the medicine and rest," says Sabo while opening a bottle of medicine after Luffy handed said bottle to him, grinning at her

She scoffs, flipping the finger towards Luffy

Luffy sticks his tongue at her. Sabo chuckles momentarily, taking the chance and giving her the medicine as she and Luffy kept at it.

She sputters, glaring at him, a pout on her red face wincing at the taste

Ace leans over and pats her on the head as she keeps pouting.

“What a grumpy sick child,” Sabo comments with a hint of amusement in his voice

“You guys are mean.”

“You're just grumpy,” Ace replies with a smile

“And adorable,” continues Sabo

“And grumpy,” Luffy repeats

“Oi!”

Ace laughs, pulling and squishing her cheeks

“you’re adorable when you’re grumpy.”

She pushes his hands away,

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping me get better? You guys are just teasing me.”

“And this is how we take care of you,” replies Sabo

“with lots of teasing,” Ace adds.

She rolls her eyes, about to throw another comeback, until she falls in a fit of coughs

Sabo sighs

“Okay, it’s time for you to lay down; enough joking around,” he said, pushing her back on the bed and pulling the covers over her

"You need a few good days of bed rest," he comments

"I'm gonna be watching over you," Ace adds as he sits beside her on the bed.

“So you better get used to my annoying presence,” continues Ace

“I’ll check up on you later," Sabo says with a smile before he departs.

“You need sleep, reader,” Ace says as his hands start to tuck her in even more

“Night night,” he finishes wrapping the blanket over her more

She glances at her older brother

“Can you let me go out today?” She whispers, looking at Ace with a sly grin

He raises his eyebrow, letting out a small chuckle

“Not a chance,” replies Ace, shaking his head.

“No more discussion.”

“Boohoo”

“You're a child. I hope you know that?” He comments

“You can stop pouting. Not going to work,” he adds

Ace can't help but laugh, jumping into the bed with her

He pulls her slightly onto his lap, wrapping the blanket tightly around her body.

She smiles in his embrace,

“not fair; you and Sabo are so warm; you guys are like walking heaters with your mera-mera fruits.”

“You’re not so far off from being a heater with that fever of yours,” replies Ace with a smirk

He continues snuggling her and rocking her back and forth in bed.

She grumbles at his comment, snuggling into him further, the combination of the gently rocking and his emanating warm a sure recipe to sleep as she is slowly lulled to sleep

Ace continues rocking her back and forth; a slight smirk crosses his face, enjoying how easy she was to handle once she got to cuddle

As she leans into him and falls asleep, he continues the rocking and wraps his arms around her, keeping her nice and cozy

It isn't until a few hours later when she opens her eyes rather than her oldest brother lying in bed with her, it was now replaced with the familiar figure of her uncle

“Hmm? Uncle Shanks?”

Shanks smiles as he runs his fingers through her hair

“I’m here for you, dear,” he replies gently while wrapping the blanket even tighter around his little niece.

She smiles, hugging him

“When did you get here?” she mumbles

“I came in a little while ago, once I heard you had a fever, Luffy gave me a call,” he replied with a smile

He adjusts the covers, snuggling her closer to him

“How are you feeling?” he asks with a soft voice

“Im okay; Sabo and Ace are just worrywarts,”

Shanks chuckles as he strokes her hair

"Well, you are their only sister, the youngest one, too," he says, giving her a small kiss on her forehead

She Hums at his comment

“Will you stay the night?”

"Are you asking me to stay, or did you order me to?" he responds with a smirk

"Either way, I was already planning on it; I will be staying here until you're feeling better."

She scoffs out a laugh at his reply

"And what's so funny, missy?" he asks with a fake insulted tone

"I will be spending every night taking care of my favorite niece," he replies, ruffling her hair

“Uncle Beck was right; you’re an idiot, Uncle Shanks,” she laughs sleepily

Shanks shakes his head, smiling at her

"And you're insufferable when you're sick."

"Get some rest" he continues, wrapping himself around her and snuggling with her.

Sorry! I know this wasent what you were expecting but I got a fluffy heart plus, im not sure what you mean with ‘instead of Ace, we die’ cause Ace din’t die 👀 He’s sailing with Whitebeard, getting cooked meals by Thatch and hanging with his fellow commanders

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

[starkidsonnets]

edward nashton general headcanons

| contains : poor self image, disordered eating, sh if you squint

| note : misc. and disorganized edward hcs. probably ooc !!!!!! uh oh !!!!!!

⋆ he has athsma and needs a puffer. also needs it for his anxiety and panic attacks because obv it gets really hard / painful to breathe

⋆ short sleeve shirts make him wildly uncomfortable. he feels so exposed and he also just hates how his arms look

⋆ isnt too fond of how his body looks in general. it's not something he really thinks about, though, not unless he sees a really attractive guy on the street or in an ad and is reminded that he's not exactly the standard

⋆ he likes his height, though. read somewhere that "chicks dig tall guys: no lady wants a man under six foot" and he was like fuck yeah

⋆ bought red socks to be "adventurous" since he only owns black, white, and grey pairs

⋆ they turned one of his white button-downs a light pink in the wash

⋆ he won't wear it in public, but he really likes the colour, so he kept it

⋆ finds sped up videos of snails eating cucumber slices very entertaining. it's genuinely brain rot

⋆ will sit on the toilet lid or floor or his bed sopping wet and butt ass naked after a shower staring off into space

⋆ not even just cuz he's depressed it just feels nice

⋆ does not like tomatoes. it's the texture that throws him off the most and if he orders a burger and they mess up his order and he has to take them off himself, he'll still have a hard time eating it cuz he can "taste the remnants"

⋆ migraines so bad he gotta lay down and wait for himself to faint

⋆ struggles consistently with irregular eating habits. he can go days without proper sustenance, absorbed in whatever he's doing

⋆ on the other hand, if he gets too emotional he'll binge, eating whatever he can find just to fill the gaping hole inside of him. he always overdoes it, and either goes to bed with a godawful stomach ache or throws up

⋆ def a hair puller. he tries to justify it by telling himself that the pain is grounding, but he sometimes ends up ripping his own hair out entirely by accident. he feels gross whenever it happens

⋆ oral fixation in the sense that everything is going in his mouth. he's a nail biter, he'll chew on his hand/arm (at home), on his pen, on his glasses, on his phone charger, etc...

⋆ mouth breather when he sleeps, which also means he drools. wakes up with a little wet spot on his pillow and he gets grossed out

⋆ he cannot use chopsticks. gets really embarrassed when he has to go back and ask for a fork (save me white boy save me)

⋆ wants to play board games really bad, but has no one to play with

⋆ buys himself a nice little something that he's been saving up for for himself for christmas. every christmas. he uses the holiday as an excuse to indulge in something he wants, instead of need

⋆ wrapped it for himself one year. spent way too long tryna figure out how to wrap it nicely. felt so stupid once it was all wrapped up that he tore it open immediately. hasn't wrapped anything for himself since

⋆ a single peppercorn would put him in a coma i think

ok thats it :)

[izvmimi]

“Thank you for always being so understanding about all of this,” Izuku says between spoonfuls of soup. You look up from your own bowl, then around; Inko has stepped out of the room to use the restroom, and the two of you remain facing each other at dinner.

Tenko hasn’t joined the three of you tonight, citing “other plans”, but you have the impression that nerves have gotten to him finally and Izuku agrees with your assessment. The thought of Tenko, once Shigaraki, being nervous about how the general public will receive him feels somewhat ridiculous, but it is a very fair thing to be worried about given the circumstances.

After all, it’s only been 5 years since the meta war, and even if he’s proven himself to Midoriya and the Hero Commission, he has no guarantee going public in this matter will be well received, even if Deku will be by his side, promising emphatically and empathetically in his own very Deku way to stop him again if things get awry, and the people believe in their Symbol of Hope.

Yet, what Izuku is referencing is something unrelated completely. His hand reaches over the table to cover yours gently, and he smiles warmly at you, and in that look, you remember how happy he was to see you from his hospital bed, adjusting a few flowers and cards on the counters before being startled by the sound of his voice. He was happy to see you intact, safe, despite having gotten precariously close to the main fight. 

Izuku remembers your body moments away from disintegration every so often, the expected turn in his stomach not lessening over the years, and often wonders why you’ve managed to forgive Tenko the way you have, allowing him to crash on your apartment sofa and eat up all your snacks, and to permeate daily conversations between the two of you.

But you, like the people will during the press conference tomorrow, believe in his ability to be good.

Your lips part slightly with the touch as though you were to say something in surprise, but you choose not to, smiling instead, using your other hand to finish your soup. 

The words I trust you and I have hope, are left unsaid.

—

The cameras don’t stop flashing but Deku and Entropy continue to face the cameras politely, smiles matching, Entropy’s not as wide but still warm. The dreaded tomato isn’t tossed at his face and while there are a few insults hurled from the back of the crowd, understandably, they’re easily drowned out by the cheers of support.

The two young men both pledge to keep the city safe.

The trial period of their partnership will be for about a year before they’ll eventually act independently, and while it seems like a sensible idea upfront, you and Izuku find out that the netizens have quite a lot to say about it.

Parole officer Deku…

They’re really running out of new concepts, aren’t they?

Do you think I could turn him back? He might have been sexier before…

That last comment has 200+ replies and you pore through them on your phone while Tenko returns with four iced beverages, three of them coffee and the fourth a lemonade with an alarming amount of caffeine in them. Sparkles eyes his drink, while accepting her latte from him, then shakes her head.

“You know those kill people, right?”

Tenko blinks for a moment, then shrugs before putting the straw in his mouth. 

“I mean…” you pipe up and Izuku gives you a look to warn you not to make the joke you want so desperately to make, and you press a finger to your own mouth coyly.

Sparkles figures out where you were about to go in that sentence and kicks your leg under the table. Tenko sips on his drink and says nothing.

“You guys looked great out there,” you say, instead. “I would definitely trust my life to you both,” you add and Sparkles nods enthusiastically. You watch her pat his shoulder gently, then catch herself, pretending she was wiping off a bit of lint.

You’ll send her a text reminding her she doesn’t need to pretend that he wasn’t with her last night in a couple minutes, but for now you let the two newly partnered pros give their own press conference perspective.

There are many new books to be written and you wonder which page you’ll turn first.

[otakusheep15]

Flufftober Day 22 - Cooking

Content includes: Sebek x reader, implied mutual pining, Lilia being a menace, reader knows how to cook, Sebek not understanding how to flirt

“As loath as I am to admit it, I am appreciative of your help, human.”

You smile, feeling just a bit proud at the fact that Sebek gave you an actual compliment, no matter how backhanded it may have been. It is a deserved compliment, seeing as how you’re basically saving his life.

Earlier today, you received a surprisingly frantic text from Sebek practically begging you to come to Daisomnia. When you arrived, most of the students were cowering in fear, obviously avoiding the kitchen. You knew immediately what was going on.

Somehow, you managed to talk Lilia away from the kitchen, offering to cook for the dorm instead. He took some convincing, but he agreed after you promised to make whatever he requested.

That’s how you ended up here, making dinner for a dorm that isn’t yours. Sebek had decided to join you to ensure you “didn’t mess up the kitchen”, but you both knew he just really wanted to spend time with you.

As was requested of Lilia, you’re making tomato soup. It was the compromise you agreed upon, and most of the dorm seemed happy with that choice. To make it a little more substantial, you also decided to make grilled cheese sandwiches.

Since Sebek decided to be in here with you, you figured you might as well put him to work.

“Hmph! You’re lucky I owe you, human! Otherwise, I would never even humor the thought of helping you!”

Despite his words, he’s already tying an apron around his waist and gathering the ingredients for you. He knows his way around this kitchen better than you would, and you’re grateful for the help.

You begin dicing up tomatoes, wanting them to be small enough to fit into the blender. Sebek, meanwhile, has begun grating the cheese you intend to use for the sandwiches.

This is the quietest Sebek has ever been, but it’s certainly not bad. He’s obviously concentrating, and it’s adorable to watch him work so hard on something so simple.

Together, the two of you work, moving around each other as you work on your assigned tasks. Not much is spoken, other than the occasional remark from Sebek about how he’s only doing this because he doesn’t want to owe you later. You smile and laugh it off each time, knowing it’s just his strange way of expressing affection.

Soon enough, dinner is finished, and Sebek helps you serve it to the rest of the dorm. Naturally, you’re invited to stay and eat as well, as it would be rude to expect you to leave after making everyone else food.

Of course, you sit next to Sebek, and you thank him for all of the help, offering him a smile as you begin eating.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a light blush coat his cheeks as he turns away from you.

“No need to thank me, human. I was simply returning a prior favor.”

The food is amazing, and the students around the table compliment your work. You make sure to shout out Sebek each time, reminding everyone that he did just as much as you. You can tell it embarrasses him, but it’s cute when he gets like this.

When everyone is finished eating, you and Sebek are excused from cleaning duty since you both worked so hard on cooking. You decide to head back to your own dorm, and Sebek walks you to the portal out of Diasomnia.

“It was… decent… working with you today. Maybe we could… do this again sometime.”

He’s bright red in the face, and he makes a point of not looking directly at you. You respond in kind, taking his hand and gently squeezing it as you agree.

As you turn to leave, you see the tiniest hint of a smile on his face, and you’re sure you sport a matching one the whole way back to your dorm.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi love, I was wondering if I could have HC or comfort fic with the sleep token boys ❤️ I’m going through a breakup and would love to read something sweet

Know that you are so loved! Sending you the biggest hug🫂

Vessel

He’s a king of little talking but big gestures. Words are overrated as it is. You can speak them but don’t mean them. Plus, he doesn’t need to hear you say it, he can see that you’re not feeling the best. That something is bothering you so to little things he turns. “Hey”, a little knock on the bedroom door makes you turn towards the sound. And there stands Vessel. Flowers beneath his arm, balancing a tray with grilled cheese and canned tomato soup.

He carefully places everything on the nightstand before turning to you. “I didn’t burn the house down making that”, Vess nods patting his own shoulder, “So you got to try it, let me know if I improved”. You know that his grilled cheese has always been amazing but it’s his way of making sure you eat. So you try to not fight it even if it’s hard.

He’s so fucking patient too. You could be stirring that soup around for a hot minute and he would not rush you. Encourage a spoonful or two along the way but let you take your own time.

He also talks so much in moments like this. It’s his way of drowning out the noises in your head. “You know I saw this sign today that said five bucks to cuddle a baby cow”, he shakes his head, “I had to talk myself out of it but we could always go back there together”.

And then because he loves physical touch - that’s how he shows love. He would wrap you up in a blanket and then cuddle you the whole night. Softly humming random bits from the albums or new tunes he’s been working on. Letting you slowly run your fingers up and down his lower stomach. Kissing your forehead every time you sigh.

iii

He is all fun and games until his baby is not feeling well. Then all shit is packed up. Unless of course, he can see that he could slowly crack away the clouds with his stupid jokes.

“Tell me”, there’s no what’s wrong questions with him. As he reaches for you. “Just… I don’t know how to even describe it”, you huff, slowly pulling at the roots of your hair. “Then don’t”, iii is quick to pull your hands closer to his lips kissing them each. “How does a bath with those bath bombs we got yesterday sound like?”, he carefully brushes strands of hair away from your face, watching you nod.

And that’s how you end up pressing against his chest, sitting in between his legs, slowly running your fingers up and down his thighs. He’s playing with your hair, twisting strands around his fingers. “Your fingers are turning into prunes”, he chuckles lifting your palms, “Should we get out?”. But you shake your head and so he doesn’t make a move. Only wrap an arm across your chest, knowing that the pressure and weight of it will slowly let the anxiety ease.

“I feel like eating chilly oil noodles”, you mutter after a while. “Eggs and lots of cheese?”, he asks with a hum. You turn to him slightly with a nod. Iii simply smiles at you, leaning in to kiss you, “Say no more baby, I got you”.

ii

I think the roles are rarely reversed. It’s mostly you weathering his storms but man when shit hits your fan and he needs to watch you crumble, that messes him up. Because watching the main source of light in his life slowly fading. That’s terrifying. So ridden in pure panic he tries to do his best to make it better.

So he’s waking up early, carefully slipping out of bed to hit the shops. Buying fresh fruits and pastries. Grabbing you your favorite drink from the coffee shop you told him about. Fuck it man even stands in a book section reading the backs of silly romances and whatnot, because hey if that might bring a smile to your face - he’s doing it.

He tries to appear as calm as possible not wanting this to turn into you worrying about him instead. But he watches your every move like there is no tomorrow. “Are we putting on another film or do you want to read?”, he asks after a while of you both just rotting beneath the blankets downstairs. You don’t answer him but snuggle deeper into his chest.

He lets you run your fingers through his tattoos. If you want he would run you through all the back stories of them even if you know them by heart by now. “Is your fave still this one?”, ii point to his lower stomach and hips, and you give him a lazy nod, “Nothing beats that”, you mutter. “Should put it on full display then”, he quickly yanks his hoodie over his head giving you a glorious view of his bare chest making you chuckle slightly and his heart ease along the way.

iv

I think he would also love to just remind you of the things you love and the things that make you feel better. You like morning/evening walks? Even if you don’t feel like going he would find a way to drag you out of the house. “I promise to buy you ice cream as a reward”, he flicks your nose, “and I promise you, you will feel so much better”. So he drives to a nice park. Holds your hand the entire time you walk. Watching you slowly start to enjoy the activity. You stop by to watch a sunset or a sunrise depending on the time you walk. And it’s one of those yeah I am alive moments. Ivy has an arm warped around you. Watching you watch the nature surrounding you both.

He would offer to take you to little places you love. You love clothes shopping? He would take you. You like browsing random stores? Say no more. He would come with you and smell all the candles. “Get that too, that in the living room”, he mutters adding yet another candle into the cart.

“I remember you said that you wanted to try pottery painting so I got us a kit”, he mutters, walking in with boxes of stuff. You can’t believe that he would remember something so random. And it’s just take-out boxes, and a bottle of nice wine as you both paint and doodle on the plates Iv picked out. It’s quality time over anything and with every stolen glance he can see the way you slowly start to flicker with happiness again.

[ikemenomegas]

Megumi is not good at cooking. Not the way that Tsumiki is. He remembers how she used to stretch their meager meals. To this day, he cannot perfectly recreate the warm kakitamajiru she'd made, powdered ginger, thin sliced scallion, white pepper. But she always could. She tells him there's no secret ingredient, but there has to be, if only that it's his sister's hands which made it.

That is not to say he cannot cook. He's good at following recipes. Gojo's more than once ruffled his hair in the morning, thanking him for the leftovers in the fridge (and despite his denial Gojo-san is picky). But it's never the same.

At first, you'd thought it was some weird, chauvinistic holdover and had been fully prepared to absolutely tear into Gojo about it. Megumi's a bit embarrassed about that (one of the few almost-fights he'd witnessed between the two of you), but he exhales softly as you wrap an arm around his shoulders, patting his hair as he leans against you in the kitchen.

You now think that it's funny, but it's also cute because when Megumi really wants to eat something that tastes better than mine, he'll do literally everything up to and including prep, and also dishes after.

He's young with time to learn, but it's considerate while also being sad. You do appreciate it, but before you all moved to campus, Megumi kept his own room tidy, made plenty of his own meals, avoided asking to do any kind of extracurricular which could cost you and Gojo either time or money. It was difficult to teach him to be a child and you'd never quite managed it with either Megumi or Tsumiki - both of them resistant to being taken care of, both of them too early acquainted with the reality that some people read care and saw burden.

Megumi leans against your shoulder as you stroke his hair, fluffy soft, a smile on your lips as you wait for a couple tomatoes to blanch.

You don't tell him he didn't have. You grin, remembering the adorable little growl he'd made last time. It's good to see him being a bit of a brat, comfortable with it.

"Thanks," you say instead, and he leans heavier for a second before standing straight, freeing your arm to dish out the tomatoes into a bowl. He even takes them to the sink, peeling the loosened skin, the mealy inner portion getting under his nails.

You are so grateful that Megumi has already sliced up the onions and put them in water just how you like them.

You're slicing the tomatoes into wedges, Megumi standing back at your shoulder like him watching you do this for the seventh time will finally give him the answer, when you start talking.

"You know, my mom used to make this for me. They've got a garden." Lots of people in the countryside have gardens. "And we got tons of tomatoes every year. And it doesn't matter how many times I make it. I think hers will always be better."

Megumi looks from your hands to your face and then slowly back again as you scrape the cut half up onto the flat of the knife and into a bowl and then start on a new one.

"She says the same thing about her parents' food," you smile. "Her dad's gyoza. She's very sure that filling is better than anything she ever made for us growing up."

The look on your face is so soft it makes Megumi's face warm and something comfortable-uncomfortable wanted-unwanted twist in his stomach.

You nudge him. "Save about a few slices for the salad?"

He nods and gets you another bowl to set the sliced tomato aside.

You set about putting together the rest of the meal while he trails behind. Blanching thinly sliced beef, pointing out what needed to be mixed for a gingery vinaigrette, stir frying tomatoes, eggs, onions, chicken, lotus roots, napa, noodles...

He mumbles an apology when his stomach growls as he's setting out two places. It's an awful lot of food for a night when Gojo-san isn't coming around, maybe he just had big eyes when he was pulling everything out.

You just laugh. "It's almost done. You can start, don't wait."

But he does, carrying plates from the counter to the table for you and giving you such a puppyish stare when you don't sit down fast enough it makes you abandon wiping down a spot of flour to pull off your apron an sit across from him.

"itadakimasu," he murmurs, politely pressing his palms together as you do the same.

He closes his eyes a little longer than necessary to savor.

"Yours still tastes better."

If you could reach him, you're pretty sure you'd be happily making his hair even more of a mess than it already is right now. There's a secret, complicated look on your face, although he's sure it's mostly happy. And in the end you just say,

"Thanks, Megumi."

"Mm," he replies, holding out his bowl as you offer him another spoonful of noodles.

[thoselethalarts]

𝕾𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖂𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖘 - Character Addendum

#2 - Achos and Lupe Algea

Some of the only real "twisted" characters that I actually have as part of my TWST cast, lmao. Meet the imp twins, twisted from Pain and Panic! They're part of a small "next generation" thing I've built with @dragon-simp, but I've become extremely attached to them lately after building them in TS4, so I couldn't resist drawing them and giving them some proper love.

Name: Lupe Algea Voice Claim: Tony Sampson Gender: Male (He/They) Species: Imp Faerie Birthday: July 25th Starsign: Leo Height: 145cm Eye Color: Amber yellow Hair Color: Carmine red Homeland: Isle of Lamentation

Dorm: Ignihyde School Year: 1st Class: 1-D, No.06 Occupation: Let's Play Livestreamer, Student Club: Magical Shift Club Best Subject: Flying

Dominant Hand: Left Favorite Food: Pepperoni grilled cheese sandwich Least Favorite Food: Tomatoes Dislikes: Losing, apologizing Hobbies: Video Games Talents: Mixology

Personality: Lupe is a little self-centered and prideful, so he usually doesn't think his actions or words through before he says or does something. He's the biggest cause of his own grief as he finds it difficult to apologize when he messes up or hurts someone he cares about. He's also a bit of a thrill-seeking daredevil, and either charges headfirst into things or is easily goaded into doing something stupid or dangerous in equal doses. This behavior pays off when he's playing games, however, as he'll find speedrunning tricks that nobody else thinks to consider due to the risk, odds, and luck involved in his skips. He considers himself a gourmand, and despite proclaiming to have high standards of food, he likes to eat anything and everything at least once. He has a seemingly bottomless appetite, and is often seen snacking on something, especially if he's doing something that requires extra focus and brainpower. His hardy appetite also gives him a great deal of energy and strength. He does video game livestreams regularly on the weekends, and wants to one day be famous. He frequently competes with his brother, Achos, over video games and menial tasks. The two of them will also argue and bicker, but are quick to put their differences aside if they have a shared enemy.

Unique Magic: “Feel Our Pain” - Creates a link between him and his target, making it so any pain and bodily damage he would ordinarily feel is instead deflected onto his opponent. He can afflict anyone within line of sight, and the magic lasts for as long as he has the mana to spare and he keeps his concentration on keeping the spell active.

--- --- ---

Name: Achos Algea Voice Claim: Sam Vincent Gender: Male (He/They) Species: Imp Faerie Birthday: July 25th Starsign: Leo Height: 150cm Eye Color: Amber yellow Hair Color: Cerulean blue Homeland: Isle of Lamentation

Dorm: Ignihyde School Year: 1st Class: 1-E, No.05 Occupation: Student Club: Photography Club Best Subject: Transformation, Transmutation, and Familiars

Dominant Hand: Left Favorite Food: Pita gyro Least Favorite Food: Stringy cheese Dislikes: Being looked down on Hobbies: Programming Talents: Fabric Arts (Knitting, Stitching, Cross-stitch)

Personality: Achos is an anxious imp that is almost always fretting over something. His frequent hesitation and paranoia make up for Lupe's lack thereof, and he's frequently seen being either dragged into his brother's shenanigans or attempting to drag him out of them. He fidgets almost constantly, and picks up as many hobbies as he can to occupy his mind in his downtime. He busies himself to the point that he often forgets to eat, but tends to remember more regularly when Lupe pesters him to cook for him (or if he sees Lupe snacking on something). He hopes to one day strike it rich, and will do almost anything to try and save a couple bucks. He one day wants to work in programming and digital security for STYX, both to make his mother proud and to one day become so wealthy he doesn't need to worry about finances again. He frequently competes with his brother, Lupe, over video games and menial tasks. The two of them will also argue and bicker, but are quick to put their differences aside if they have a shared enemy.

Unique Magic: “Feel Our Fear” - This spell clears his mind of all his anxious emotions and makes him increasingly more bold and reckless, while simultaneously afflicting whomever his target is with high amounts of anxiety, paranoia, and panic. He can afflict anyone within line of sight, and the magic lasts for as long as he has the mana to spare and he keeps his concentration on keeping the spell active.

[coffee-and-guitar-strings]

Studying with ADHD

Dear God. My activity on here is sporadic, as is fitting with my diagnosis, but I thought maybe this post could help anyone that's been struggling alongside me.

Warning: Long Post

Feel Free to browse the bullet points and stop if something catches your eye!

If you don't like any of these, don't use them! They're based solely off my experience, and everyone experiences ADHD differently <3

Content:

Setting up The Space

Study Snacks!! - No hunger in The Space

Compete with yourself

Ignore Pomodoro

Reverse the feeling of 'not being smart enough'

Active Recall

Unriddle.ai (not sponsored,,,)

Final Tip

Final Note

Here ya go:

1. Setting up The Space

Some sites say to create a 'distraction free zone' to study in. Screw that, it never worked for me.

My brain is the distraction. I'll stare off into space if there's no other option.

INSTEAD:

We set up a study space that both fulfils random urges mid-work session, and limits distractions away from the desk.

I.e. we don't get up until we need the bathroom.

You limit the amount you get up from The Space, you limit the number of things your attention span will switch to.

Snacks, fidgets, drawing, separate screen for watching stuff? Whatever works, stick it on the desk.

Food wise, I try to make a healthy lunch and then eat it at my desk while reviewing stuff, but sometimes I need a longer break.

If I am taking a break, I do it away from The Space. The Space is dead to me now.

Try to compartmentalise your area, work only in these spots, relax only in these, sleep only there.

We're trying to train our brains here, people, simple and clear relations of space to activity typically get embedded easier.

Also: work whenever.

Burst of energy at 9pm? Go for it, we sleep badly anyways.

Middle of lunch? Have a flashcard/ notes app on your phone, do it while you eat.

With friends? See method 5 <3

I'll link a separate post I'll be making on exactly how my space is set up, though most of the key points are in this one :)

2. Study Snacks!! - No hunger in The Space

One. Handed. Food. Only.

Also, food that doesn't get stuff on your fingers.

You can't work if you're constantly wiping your hands to keep going, and you need something you can absentmindedly grab while you keep your eyes trained on the work.

I recommend getting artificial sugar in your system, sweets, chocolate, give yourself a mild sugar rush to keep a bit of a buzz going while you work.

(try to be healthy about it, this won't be sustainable long-term, but I find a shot of sugar to the system can help prevent burnout)

Also caffeine! Please be aware of how much caffeine you're having for health reasons - I need to watch how much I have, since my medication is already bad for my heart, but even just having a coffee and some sugar at the start of the session, I get enough energy to start working

As long as I don't stop until I'm Done, I will be good.

3. Compete with yourself

I don't recommend competing with others, it toes the line of 'feeling like a failure' too much for my liking, but if it works for you, go for it.

Instead, I compete with myself. Mostly quizlet flashcards, but also 'how much of this have I remembered from yesterday?', and 'How much more can I remember today?'

Whether it's personality or hyperactivity, this gives a dopamine hit. Finding ways to make studying something you can score against is one of my favourite methods.

Video games are an ADHD staple for a reason, easily trackable progress and dopamine from rewards/hyperfixations/etc. make them addictive.

Turn the work into a video game (I think at this point I may sound insane to you guys but please trust me)

4. Ignore Pomodoro

ADHD students, we have to think like sharks: we stop, we die.

Once you have found yourself studying with (relative) ease, Do. Not. Stop. You keep that going as long as possible.

ADHD doesn't mean you can't focus, you can, you just have no choice in where that attention gets allocated. So, when a tomato-based timer tell you to turn off your focus and relax, after it took you half the damn time to start the stupid work, it can be a little counter-productive

(I may have some repressed rage for pomodoro, try to forgive me)

Please, ignore the pomodoro stuff. I know it's healthy to regulate the volume of work you do, but I find that once I start working, I can't stop until I run out of energy.

I time or video myself instead, I can track how long I've been working, feel proud of it, and I also can't use my phone during that session.

When my brain stops taking stuff in, I have an hour to 2 hour break, relax (away from The Space) try to reset my brain so it's back to baseline. Then I start again.

5. Reverse the feeling of 'not being smart enough'

I know I am smart, and it's on others if they don't see that, but having undiagnosed ADHD for 17 years did a number on my self image and confidence.

If you struggle with this, it's so, so helpful to try this method, and can start to reverse the negative internal image we've managed to cultivate <3

So, after you've covered a topic: tell someone about it (please make sure they're ready to listen to you rant for half an hour).

Not only are you reinforcing what you've just learnt, but you also get to feel competent, and teaching someone else about your topic helps to raise perceptions (internal or from others) of what you know/what you're capable of.

6. Active Recall

This one goes great with the whole, 'competing with yourself' method (no. 4);

Active Recall is just making sure you're going over old information and recalling correctly, once it's past short term memory. Trying to remember information without it present forces your brain to pull it from Long-term memory and reinforces the information in your brain.

I know it's been said a million times, but this + competing with yourself does wonders for me.

My favourite method is blurting ( read/write notes of one topic, wait ten minutes, do something else productive, and then try to copy that topic from memory. repeat until all key info is correctly recalled)

7. Unriddle.ai (not sponsored,,,)

Okay, this site changed it for me. 5 free uploads, 15 free inputs per month.

Download a copy of the fancy scientific paper/article/book you need to read through. Upload.

Ask unriddle to summarise key points, to re-write it as if you were 7, etc.

This genuinely saved my essays. Suddenly the procrastination of reading my source material was gone. It makes it so much easier to get through dense/boring text and then I wrote everything myself.

Please do not plagiarise, I am only recommending this site to make things easier to read, copying down what it produces is considered plagiarism by my uni, and likely most others.

8. Final Tip

Be kind to yourself.

When I got medicated, my friends were genuinely stressed by how much work I was suddenly doing.

One of them asked me about it, and I realised it didn't feel like I was doing any more than normal. I had always been working this hard, it was just that half the energy going in wasn't being wasted on trying to get myself to focus.

What you put in may not receive the same results as for others, but the reality is that you're likely working harder than they are. The irritating truth is simply that we have to compensate for the different cognitive functioning that neurotypicals get to take for granted

(no hate to the NTs, I'm glad ya'll don't have to think about it, but for someone with ADHD, it can be really tough to realise)

A Final Note:

You are smart. You can do this. We just need to modify the system a little to make it work for us. There is no shame in that, anyone telling you otherwise needs a reality check.

Genuinely though, I've noticed that people telling me I use my ADHD accommodations (required by law) as a 'crutch'.

1. If the world were set up by me, that same person would struggle just as much, if not more.

2. If Rishi Sunak's government is willing to GIVE ME FREE MONEY to access these accommodations, that implies that this genuinely is needed. Not because I think Sunak is intelligent or kind (my own political opinions, please just hear me out), but because there is no way, with the underfunding of the NHS, Public services, etc. that they'd be willing to give me money I don't need to repay if it wasn't a scientific fact that I needed it, and it helped.

Use the inadequacies of the government to your advantage in arguments, make the idiots see how integral our accommodations are. I'd have dropped out of uni by now without them.

For anyone in need of help trying to convince family/friends/teachers/etc. of the struggle with ADHD (or anything else, though I won't have as much experience with it), telling them what you need help with, or any other arguments, send me an ask. I do psychology for my degree, I am used to searching for research papers, and I will help you with the necessary scientific backing for your case.

You are not in this alone <3

Lots of Love!

Coffee + Guitar Strings

@chocolatelandgarden @chaoticstudyprincess