#but this post is already so long and I don't wanna make this so long that no one wants to read it

[daryldixouns]

soft spot - dean winchester

summary: dean's never thought of himself as a softie. he's always been one to keep people at arm's length, frightened by the consequences of getting too close. you, however — the kindhearted angel of his dreams — seem to see right through him. with you, being vulnerable doesn't feel so scary.

content: fem!angel!reader, soft!dean, fluff, hair brushing, light kissing, emotional intimacy, religious themes

word count: 1.2k

a/n: ooo i've never posted on here before this is so scary :'( but writing this made me so emotional like that's my baby! please enjoy <3

"How're you so soft?"

Dean's question makes you giggle. You lean forward to rest your forehead on your knees, your hair cascading over your shoulders. He's mesmerized. He brings the brush back to your head, bristles gliding through the silky strands.

You feel his exhale against the back of your neck when he laughs, too. "No, angel, 'm serious," he insists, running his fingers through a section of your hair. "You feel like Heaven… everywhere. Like, damn." He says it like he's proud, admiring you.

There's also the faintest hint of jealousy deep in his gut. You're everything that contradicts what he is — so naive and unaware of the plethora of dangers on Earth. It's silly, but sometimes, that's exactly what he longs to be.

Dean sighs as he brushes through your hair. He wouldn't be caught dead doing this for anybody else, but he can make an exception for his angel girl. He always does. Your delicacy makes him want to turn into a whole new version of himself and take care of you.

"You are, too," you murmur then, hushed. You're sitting in front of him, between his legs on the floor of his room in the bunker.

Setting the brush down, he brings his fingers to your scalp, carding through your hair. "I'm what?"

"Soft."

He almost chokes on a laugh. "Honey—"

"You put the brush down 'cause you wanna touch me instead, right? You like the way it makes you feel," you continue, not letting him interject — partly because you don't totally understand the formalities of human conversation yet, but Dean finds that adorable. He doesn't correct you.

"You treat me like I'm fragile because… you're soft on the inside. Aren't you?" You lean your head back, settling in his lap, your hair fanning out across his jeans. When you look up at him, he's already staring, enchanting you with that inviting green gaze.

For a moment, he doesn't know how to respond. His fingers work on their own, threading through your smooth locks. The smallest smile begins to crinkle at the corner of his eyes.

"Well, hell, angel," he huffs, slightly impressed. He thinks he wants to wrap you up in his flannel and keep you hidden away from the rest of the world. His to cherish, his to learn and love, only his. "You sure you're not a mind reader?"

You smile, cheeks pink. It's only been a few weeks since you discovered the wonders of makeup, but Dean's convinced you're going to overload on that pretty new blush. "I don't have to read your mind. I can see you, Dean. Really you, all of you."

Everything about this situation is entirely unfamiliar to him. He doesn't know if it's your grace that enables you to see right through him, or if his actions truly make his feelings that obvious to you.

He shakes his head, reaching out to cup your face in his hands — and his touch? It's soft.

"Yeah?"

His voice is low, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks, your skin so flawless that it makes him nervous. Then he's leaning down, lips hovering over yours before he closes the distance.

It doesn't matter to him that the angle is awkward — it's not like you would know any better. Plus, he thinks you're gorgeous, even when you're upside-down.

This kiss isn't the first, but it may as well be. You taste just as sweet as you did then.

You let your eyes flutter shut, still trying to grasp the concept of this kind of intimacy. You appreciate the way he keeps things gentle, simply a ghost of his lips against yours.

You part with a quiet sound, and then a beat of silence passes. Dean doesn't want to scare you off, and you don't want the moment to end.

He watches for your reaction, wanting to know that he's not overstepping.

He's about to say something when suddenly, you shift. You sit up, picking your head up from his lap and turning to settle on your shins, kneeling in front of him.

It should be him in that position, he thinks — praying to you, for you, worshipping everything that you are because damnit, you make him a better man.

When you speak, your sweet voice echoes in his ears. "Dean?"

"Angel," he answers.

He tries to make sense of your neutral expression, but you've got the best unintentional poker face he's ever seen. It warms his heart. One day, he'll have to teach you how to use that to your advantage.

You reach out, placing your hands on his knees. "Do you feel holy?"

That hits him right in the chest. "That's a loaded question," he says, a light chuckle accompanying his words.

He swallows, hesitant to be completely honest. He wants to shy away, to brush off the question and silence you with his lips instead, but your eyes are so curious when you look at him that he's compelled to respond.

So he thinks.

Does he feel holy?

The short answer is no, he doesn't. Dean Winchester doesn't feel holy. He's been neglected by God and burned by angels he once thought were on his side more times than he can count. He doesn't bother having faith anymore.

But he's seen things differently ever since you came along, winged and divine and all. You've made him a believer, a follower — not of Heaven, but of you. He means it when he says you could have him on his knees if you asked.

"Am I… allowed to say that it's complicated?" he eventually mutters. He hasn't let himself be vulnerable like this in a long, long time. His eyes flit across your face, searching for something, but he doesn't know what.

When you give him a nod, he feels relieved, even though he doesn't doubt that you'd be supportive no matter what his answer was.

"Yes," you tell him. Your palms still rest on his knees, offering him a stabilizing comfort. "I understand."

You don't pry any further. It's so clear that he's letting you in, he's letting himself be vulnerable with you, and that's enough. He's tense, but with one look at you, it all fades away.

You really are an angel, he thinks. Definitely too good for him, but you're here and you're staying.

Dean can't resist the urge to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, touching you like you're the most precious thing he's ever held. Maybe you are, he realizes.

He dips his head, his lips finding yours again in a kiss that's careful but certain. As they did earlier, his fingers slide into your hair, and you feel safe here. You're tethered to him in such a meaningful, intimate way. It feels like a prayer and a promise.

The kiss lingers, but he never takes it too far. He's afraid to break you.

That's why he's gentle when he pulls you up from your knees, guiding you into his lap. One of his hands smooths down your arm, stopping at your fingers to interlace them with his own.

He's well aware of how different this is than anything he's used to, but he needs to do this for you. He wants to show you that you're right about him.

"Guess you've really got me down, angel," he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours.

He smiles. You're his soft spot.

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! still in the process of setting up my account but definitely open to making a taglist!

[acid-ixx]

okay so long rant ahead.

it's almost 4am over here, and i'll delete this post once i wake up, but i just wanna rant about how 90% of the time i do really end up regretting writing again &. again truthfully and how most of the time i considered dropping it, deleting my account or just privatizing all my works but ik the last option is impossible since people have already archived my account in archive dot org without me knowing </3

this is for so many reasons i can't list out in just one post but here i am wanting to voice out my thoughts.

yes, neglected reader tropes have now become a staple in the yan batfam tag, and i'm my own greatest hater so i tend to compare my own fanfic to everything, only to realize how basic as fuck my concept is and how the reader sometimes falls short in uniqueness and how often my own writing gets glazed when in fact, every time i read my own fic, i end up nitpicking every single detail and hating it more and more it's like a neverending cycle of wanting to rework it.

then i see my own fanfic being tagged by multiple authors as their own inspiration, but i get ashamed more so than proud because i end up reading better composed prose's, better plots and overall i just wonder if my own fanfic is actually someone's favorite since??? for me personally i just don't like 3/4's of whatever i write. i can handle reading through a loving family, but i can't go off a second reading my main series without cringing so hard to the point i just want to delete it and i almost did multiple times LMAO.

again &. again is not as grand as most, it's something i put myself down over with how watered down the neglected reader trope feels nowadays with my own writing. and a lot of my descriptions are either too wordy, or too simple or idk it's never enough when it comes to my expectations. i love angst, but i can never truly capture whatever emotions i want to show off in the fic.

so where does that take me? i become way more weary the more i post new content about it. ik people are fond of it for reasons i can't understand. sometimes, i become interested over again &. again's plot, i want to expand upon it whenever i have time to. most of the time, i end up despising it for so many other reasons not written in this rant. all the time, i just wish i've never written about it in the first place since i've been so burdened over wanting to meet people's expectations, wanting an awe factor that i end up losing the original intentions of why i've written this fanfic in the first place.

hence why i often tend to go on long hiatuses to find purpose in even writing; it's my passion, not my job but sometimes it feels like it is. sometimes i also feel underappreciated with my own content, especially with the old hate comments thrown my way, even if i tell myself not to bother with it.

people look up to me, and that praise feels undeserved especially with the amount of overwhelming comments. everyone around me is so wonderful at writing for the yandere batfam x neglected reader trope but ooh god, i feel so isolated myself with the community being so tight-knit truth be told. so many things are happening at once, and so many fanfics are being produced that people speak of, that i myself don't know except for how great everyone else is.

it doesn't help the fact that one of my favorite authors has blocked me (i don't know why, we don't talk at all and we aren't mutuals but i won't question it) and they're the main source of inspiration for some plot points in my story but what can i do? it's their boundaries and i respect that.

this rant doesn't make sense, ik it doesn't, but i need to get this off my system for a long time now. don't mine me i'm just my biggest hater y'all goodnight </3

[janiehellion]

Not to be dramatic, but this comment on AO3 actually made me tear up in the best way possible. I did respond to it already, but I still feel like nothing I say could do justice to how much it really means to me. (Keeping their username hidden due to privacy and out of respect.)

And I know... I don't usually post randomly like this, but writing fanfiction—especially in a fandom like The Walking Dead, where so many writers are ridiculously talented, writers like Krys, Murda, Taylor, and so many more, but especially those that I follow and got the incredible chance to interact with so far.

Yes, there are writers who put out works way faster than I ever could and ever did in years—it can be really isolating. (If this is the right word... I don't know how to explain it better.) Especially when you write slowly, when you're anxious as shit, or when your fics simply don't get much reach or interaction because they're just... too damn long.

(My current draft for a requested one-shot is over 30K, and I'm trying to shorten it simply because I know that most don't wanna read that many words regarding a Daryl Dixon x Reader fic. My drafts just keep getting longer, so no wonder I barely even post, and I do wanna apologize for that.)

Anyway, I'm one of those writers who rereads their own fanfics over and over again, and constantly hearing that little voice telling me, "This isn't good enough. It's just bad. Delete it." Like, all the time. I overthink every line and every word. So I end up trying everything to make a fic at least okay to read… and then doubting whether the plot even makes sense or if it sounds the way I want it to. Especially when writing for characters like Daryl, Rick, Negan, or Shane—these kinda characters that have been written so incredibly well by so many others, those who are able to put it all in fewer words than I do.

But then someone, a stranger, leaves a comment like this.

They didn't just say "Great fic!" (which I also appreciate so deeply, don't get me wrong,) but they saw the exact things I try so hard to do: tone, emotion, clarity, and consistency. They said my writing was inspirational. They literally bookmarked it as a reference for what they want to achieve. As someone with English as their first language, no less. And, as you can see, they said I should be less hard on myself.

Do you understand how healing that is to read?

I still can't believe it's real. This is just insane to me. It makes all the hours of obsessing over every damn draft feel seen and heard.

To the person who wrote this: thank you. You are one of the few humans that encourage me to keep writing. Same with the other authors I got to know through Tumblr, AO3, and Wattpad so far.

I just never would've thought that sometimes, a stranger somewhere on this planet, this world, would remind me of how much I love writing at exactly the right time. You never know what someone might go through offline, and I absolutely needed this. This is why feedback matters.

[concavenator-with-a-keyboard]

Ticci Toby general dating headcanons

I like to think that his only actual relationship experience was with clockwork and they were together for at least a few years in my head, so jumping into a new relationship would be a little slow going at first.

Once he’s settled in and actually loves you though? He’s not going anywhere.

Absolutely touching you a LOT. Snugglebug through and through. He is the type of guy to act like you hit him when all you did was... roll over while you were asleep.

On top of that, he would tolerate you doing a lot of stuff with him (as in playing with his fingers, playful biting, messing with his feet, totally not projecting my goofy ass zoomies behavior lmao) and kinda likes to just watch you do that stuff.

His love languages are physical touch and quality time. He'll sit and watch whatever you want or watch you play games.

To bounce off of that, he sucks at video games. Yeah, he can play with BEN sometimes, but he just can NOT game to save his life. He enjoys watching you play.

He gets investing in whatever reality show you're watching. He won't even deny it and if you don't say anything about watching it he will bring it up.

As he's gotten older and lived under Slenderman's thumb longer, he's become a lot more guarded. It takes a bit, but he actually is a goofy and sweet guy when he cares about you. His sense of humor is dark and you gotta have one too, but it's actual dark humor, not just super edgy.

If you're worried about how he's surviving with CIPA, don't worry. His mom made sure he could take care of himself, even if he doesn't remember her anymore, (I headcanon that Connie was a Boy Mom, but all of my ideas for what his childhood was like are for another post if anyone asks for it.) and he's very good at checking himself for injuries and keeping track of the weather with apps and asking others about it. Seriously, the weather app is his best friend. Also being a proxy does have certain physical benefits, such as heightened immune system, strength speed, and durability. It varies depending on the proxy, but Toby isn't a chump. He can handle a little heat and a little cold (less heat though, as I believe he just has a higher body temp than average and needs to account for it).

Ya'll's relationship isn't all sunshine and rainbows though, as he does have a lot of issues and he knows he's a lot to take on as a partner.

I personally headcanon him as having BPD and being misdiagnosed as bipolar, so I'm basing some of my points around it on that.

Arguments can be... intense. He will never lay a hand on you, but yelling is a common thing in heated arguments.

It'll take someone with a lot of patience and a strong backbone to help him work towards more healthy ways of resolving conflict. He'll also need reassurance that you do still love him and that you aren't going anywhere.

His schizophrenia isn't as big of a hurdle as you may think. Slenderman has his brain wired to be aware that he's hallucinating, but it won't actually get rid of them. He's gotten used to a lot of them, but he does have a few that still genuinely distress him (the most common examples being visual & auditory hallucinations of his dead sister or auditory hallucinations of his mother's voice) and that put him on edge.

How you two met can also change how slow or fast the relationship goes. If you’re a proxy too, then 1) he’s known you for a while and 2) you’re both probably already familiar with each other and get along well. If you’re not a proxy, then he does have his guard up a lot more and it’ll take a while for those walls to come down fully. Plus, he’s gotta figure out a way to break it to you that his boss is actually a supernatural entity that forces him to kill people.

If you’re both proxies

Like I said before, you both already get along well, so it really was just a matter of you or him figuring out if you want to see where this leads and asking the other out. While being a proxy speeds things up a little, it isn't by a whole lot.

I’m gonna say that the Slendermansion does exist, but it’s not exactly a fun place. Yeah, you get food and housing there, but you also have to deal with everyone else, and the majority of them aren't exactly the nicest to each other. More like coworkers in a toxic work environment forced to live together than anything else.

Toby moved out of the mansion in his mid-20s because he was having daily problems with some of the other proxies (Jeff mainly because that man definitely pokes fun at Toby and it gets on his nerves). He has a little cabin that is still within the confines of Slender’s forest, just further out than the mansion is.

Often invites you back to his cabin to hang out after missions or just whenever you see each other.

He has better service and, by the magic of "Slenderman is a supernatural entity", has electricity. He definitely has a TV he may or may not have stolen that you guys watch stuff on. It’s usually DVDs, but sometimes he catches a show or two and you guys watch that.

Since you’re a proxy, he’s not as concerned about you getting hurt during missions. Slenderman does often keep you two on separate missions and with different proxies to keep you both focused, but other than that it doesn't really care that you two are together.

All in all, you're really each other's escapes from everyone else. Something to look forward to and melt into at the end of a hard day.

If you are not a proxy

Honestly, he either met you while making a supply run and kept bumping into you, or you were somehow involved with a target.

I think supply run would be the most likely scenario, as he is a creature of habit and frequents the same places if he can. (Fun fact: I've been slowly writing a fic where he meets someone on Tinder because he's lonely and he accidentally starts caring)

You'd have to make the first move, and even then he probably doesn't think you actually like him unless you spell it out right in his face.

Super awkward at first, but I think his date being super passionate about something would make him more comfortable. Doesn't have to be true crime or anything gory (really, true crime would probably have him sweating if he could sweat), but having that genuine emotion shared just helps him settle in and actually talk more.

Absolutely believes you're the best person in the world to ask about your interest. If one of the other proxies has a question about it, he just says "gimme a sec" and calls you for the answer.

He doesn't really have any hobbies of his own, so you sharing yours is sweet to him, even if he may never pick the hobby up.

When you ask about his work, he says that he just works on a private property doing whatever his boss needs him too. Once the relationship starts getting serious he'll start to think about how to explain to you how complicated his situation is, but for the moment he's content to just be with you.

You become his escape from the cruel and dark world he has lived in since he was 17, but you will never truly know just how grateful he is that you took a chance to be with him and he never wants you to leave him.

[hoyaanae]

ALWAYS HOME 树下有片红房子

When we think of home do we think of our hometown? our family? the neighborhood we grew up in? our childhood friends? is it a place? a person? a collection of memories? the time we shared with them? or simply, a feeling? does it warm your heart or fill you up with nostalgia? do you feel happy and sad at the same time? do you sometimes wish to go back in time and experience it again? does it break your heart a little but makes you smile all the same? does it reminds you of big moments, of celebrations and happy occasions? or just the mundane things in life? like the rustling of leaves that particular afternoon, the smell of food from the dining table, the chirping of crickets at night, the happy noise from the living room. for me, it's all of it. this show reminded me of what's it like to be home (as i haven't been in a while). we all have different definition of home but somehow, i think, it feels similar. it makes you feel warm, at ease, and sometimes, a place where you can cry your heart out.

it's a story of youth, friendship, family, and romance. of heartbreak, loss and grief, reconciliation, and moving forward. of dreams and failures, first love, "eternal love", and to circle back – home.

this is as straightforward as it can get story-wise, but the characters - oh those lovely characters, i love them with all my heart. they were written and treated with care, even the supporting roles touched my heart in ways I did not expect. I get to feel for them, understand their dilemmas, and get where they're coming from. It's probably among the few dramas where I did not dislike a single character. They just feel real and alive. You see different dynamics in each family, in their friendship, and their romantic relationships. The subtlety in which moment the shift began, where one character fall in love, when the crack formed, and when you look back, which was the last time before the permanent goodbye.

The thing about youth dramas is that you just need a certain formula and when you get it right, you get it right. And they done it right. It's a cute and easy watch but also prepare for some emotional waves here and there. A box of tissue is recommended. Each family conflict made me cry - not just once, not even twice or thrice. I honestly lost count. But it's a good cry.

In terms of romance, it's quite a slowburn. As a viewer, i saw, in its most subtle form, when and which moment did each of them fall in love. But if the characters can answer back, i think they'll probably feign ignorance or just outright deny it. But tbh i don't think they themselves realized that's when they started to fall in love. In Darcy's words, "I was in the middle before I knew I had begun." Everyone else knew they'll end up together somehow but they're the last to know. Classic friends-to-lovers formula.

The first half reminded me of the feeling of home, of nostalgia, of the memories of me growing up. It feels familiarly bittersweet. The last episodes, however, deals with the characters' inner conflicts, of reconciliation of past trauma and insecurities. It started asking the question "Are you happy?" It makes you reflect on yourself as well. Is your present self satisfied with your expectations from the past you? The "you" many years ago, when you were young and innocent and full of passion. Have you reached the goal you made when you were in high school? Are you on the path you so eagerly planned to take when you were young and full of energy and hope? Have your dreams changed? Or did you simply opted for the safer route? Did you sacrificed what you wanted for the sake of family? Did you compromised what you really wanted for what was needed at that time? Are you happy with the way things turned out? Are you at peace with yourself now? Or are you still in search for that one thing to make you truly happy? Are you still finding the missing piece to the puzzle that is life? Have you let go of the past that haunted you for so long? Have you forgiven yourself for something that's out of your control? Have you found yourself? Have you found your home? Are you home now?

[lumenera]

New hobby just dropped (new hobby has been brewing for the last 3+ years)

1: 64mo blank book, aka 1/64 of a letter sized piece of paper. Total 1.5 sheets, dimensions ~1x1.5 in.

2: progress pic, the 64mo textblock. second binder clip is an attempt to make something even smaller than a 64mo

3: progress pic, the 64mo cut and folded signatures, ready to be punched and sewn

4: sticker of my bindery logo, which I designed myself :) + quarto notebook bc I made the textblock forever ago as practice, started using it as a notebook, and then figured if I was gonna use it, I should put a hard cover on it. It currently serves as my reference guide (paper size, suppliers, margins, etc).

Anyways it's so over. I'll see you in hell (WIP list)

[spingtail]

every day on this earth is another day being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment (having to see a whole thread of people saying the one (1) "androgynous"/even slightly just barely masc female character in a franchise looks better with her hair down because she's pretty)

[altruistic-meme]

ok time for some preliminary hand hunting for s3 🫡 aka giving myself a task this rewatch

[theclearblue]

I'm gonna get into a brawl with my mother one day don't be surprised when I get on the news

[mementoasts]

jonathan sims head archivist of the magnus institute london

[sysig]

Hm ok what's your favorite or a really cool worlbuilding thing you've done? For any fandom or original or even an unimplemented idea

Hmm well at least in the past decade, my big worldbuilding projects have mostly come down to three-ish stories: Other Side of the Gun, Adventures of Gæilo and Ethon, and Just Desserts

OSG was an Invader ZiM fancomic concept I started around 2013 to justify every single Irken headcanon I ever came up with lol - I never finished it, or even really started it, but I put a lot of time and energy into its roughs back in the day :)

^A stick figure recap of Ch. 1, inspired by - what else - the Vargas stick figure recaps lol

One that you can see over here is all the work I did for my DnD campaign, AGE! (Though its sideblog hasn't been updated in a while haha - the AGE tag over here works just as well) I basically homebrewed a pantheon and had an absolute blast designing all the gods and their forms before they became gods and even things like architectural differences in their churches and the BBEG and his motivations and just ah <3 Such a fun project :D

It also laid the groundwork for things like Pokemon Homestyle, specifically all my papercrafts! You can really see how I leveled up haha

And my latest has been Just Desserts! Even with less time under its belt, it's still pretty expansive, as evidenced by my icon and theme and the backlog lol, and it's the one I have the most AUs of! (Though OSG does come close actually haha) There are still some thorny details I'm trying to iron out, especially to do with the magic system, but all the characters and creatures and the fact that I made my own fighting minigame, ah, pleased! I've never been so happy with a sona before Charm! ♥ From the very beginning it's been so fun to work on and I still want to improve!

[sodafrog13]

trying so hard to finish this fucking fic i swear

[hematocephalus]

┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

[dieverged]

nima who probably didn't plan to be visiting thedas again and ending up trapped there for 2+ years having to deal with the inquisitions politics. they are mad as FUUUUUUUUUCK

edit: thinking about them stuck in thedas for 10 years dude. in the event that it's relatively canon compliant & they don't get help from, like, anyone so ... kind of a worst case scenario for them basically? on a personal level. because them getting help would require plotting

edit 2: okay i'm mad as FUCK i forgot tumblr puts a bullshit limit on tags. i had an entire section dedicated to dorian & varric & the inquisition, how it all culminates into an eventual home for them & how they would go back n forth between tevinter & kirkwall with varric taking her under his wing (and the outlier in that nima would end up telling varric about their circumstances eventually if they were close enough but hey! varric dgaf about that, he sensed the bs, he knew they were hiding something, as long as it doesnt directly harm him/his people/the fucking world whatever man it doesn't change who nima is potentially) & also nima's complicated struggles & relationship WITH hiding this information because she isn't thedosian. she is a complete outsider, a mimic, an imposter wearing the skin of those around her. while she doesn't lie, she also doesn't speak the truth of it either. & as a traveler, you'd think oh why does this bother her so much? it bothers her bc she can typically escape in other circumstances but here, she can't, she is trapped for the forseeable future and/or permanently, she can't return home. & the FURTHER struggles of what that means for her identity & also of her relationship to people within the inquisition

I'M SO MAAAAAD I'M SO MAD THOSE WERE SUCH GOOD ANALYSIS' fuck off tumblr i can't believe i forgot. okay well reminder that i need to write some relationship metas. specifically with solas, varric, dorian & then the inquisition at large.

also the conversations between these four would be funny as fuck is all im saying. discussing theoretical magic & the fade & like varric is just There dude it's too early for this shit. he was dragged out

also augh cole was another element in this as well but cole is... difficult because nima just avoids him straight up a lot of the time, but i think she would really like his insights :') i really do. i think they would have such engaging conversations

but anyways yeah there was so much haha.... gripping my desk so hard it splinters & shatters can you tell im mad as fuck. im also tired, writing essays with no sleep lets gooooo

(though honestly, maybe their character arc is centered Around never actually finding out how to return in inquisition & making peace with that too; at least not until Trespasser. i.e, they are entirely vague about everything, researching all sorts of old forbidden magic & the history of it, & part of their character arc's resolution is that they aren't alone in this yknow? they aren't alone, they have to come to terms with their placement here, and hey people do give a shit or something to that effect anyways. because them going at it alone, e.g you didn't do their companion quest, is going to result in them just leaving once they have what they need information wise whereas doing their companion quest results in them staying & begins the gradual process of relying on the people around them, relinquishing that iron grip independence but also trying to learn not to have this... fixation on home and what that means for them. which is an objectively important concept throughout their entire narrative, it drives them, BUT yknow in this it's finding a way to be healthy--- they don't let go of it obviously, although that would be an element brought up (and also if that was a choice you picked, basically telling them to give up, it would result in them leaving too), but it's more so .... that they aren't losing parts of themselves by not finding the answers that they need like home isn't one place & it definitely isn't lost. basically just easing their grip on it, like they're not losing who they are. i had something more profound to say here but i forgot where i was going originally lol so this'll just have to do--- it's just coming to terms with a lot of things about themselves basically)

referring back though to the best case scenario, it would probably be like. plotting territory & the baseline is always going to be a mage, spirit, a... god? if they interact with one? or an ancient? basically someone with profound arcane knowledge. & the plotting would come from like, hey, can we actually find a way around this in all its forms (im talking fade travel, im talking dabbling with old, forbidden magics, going on long adventures, uncovering mysteries, hell. possession would be awesome dude, spirit or fragment, or literally whatever the hell else)

& the consequences of that bc fucking around with ancient magic that counteracts your own innate magic AND with nima already having a god's mark on her by virtue of being revived. all of that...... it would be very much hey, let's see where canon can take us, let's do the implausible, let's keep making ideas etc.

because while i do just default on, even in a plotted situation, nima being unable to find their way back home by virtue of not being able to use their specific abilities to unlock that access (which, haha, im just saying wouldn't it be awesome if someone helped nima only to use her powers for their own gain. like it would be awesome) it would be very fun and very tragic for them to finally find their way home. maybe them gaining access to their own powers again causes fucky shit to happen! maybe they are blocked from ever returning to thedas! many things can happen.

& also side plot but equally as important in this ^ is them being able to recover some or all of their memories via fade shenanigans which would be peak but made worse by A. what if by doing so, they've made it so their own spirit is bound to thedas & they can't leave so they have these memories but at what COST or B. idk maybe they just die dude straight up. maybe there's some crazy ass consequences that follow. there has to be some kind of tragedy i can't let nima be happy. ever. or even some crazy shit happening to Ur muse in all of this bc who doesnt like seeing their muse suffer (& which would hurt nima in the process yippie)

but yeah ultimately their worst case scenario is arguably the best case scenario and the definitive canon bc anything else, like actually helping nima, requires nima to A. tell you they aren't from this world (& by virtue of that their memory loss maybe bc hey all hands are on the table now, but tbh they would've probably mentioned the memory loss casually Anyways so its not a big deal) B. probably a fair bit of plotting but it'd be really fun devil emoji

[greyedian]

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[niuxita21]

Can't fucking be-LIEVE I'm gonna have to pay if I want to continue watching Petrichor the absolute NERVE!!!!!!