#but this photo is so fucking funny and i have this entire outfit

[piizunn]

i’m going to a jersey shore themed rave so i made this image of native dj pauly-d with braids and beadwork to help pick an outfit

[1-49]

bare sugars

╰► that’s my baby, that’s my sugar, i don’t need no honey on the side . . . that’s unconditiona-nal.

pairing: f!reader × jaehyun ⁝ tags: motel. lotta tension. jae likes to show skin lol. history i allude to but never explain sry. short scenario inspired by this teaser photo. diabetes keep away 5k

It ’s a place in between places, on the outskirts of some sunbaked desert town. What began as a hopeful promise, somewhere in the chaos of the last seven days , has faded into obscurity.

When this road trip kicked off, the entire crew was pumped on the : ‘No one’s getting ditched; everyone ’s got to be part of ─── no matter how intense the next adventure gets.’ Yet, here you are , left behind with the one person you were hoping to dodge.

A velvety green sofa sets the scene & the honey glow of golden hour falls on wood - panelled walls ─── Lying on his back , Jaehyun rocks yet another one of his 250+ crumpled print tees, retro lettering in: ‘The Grateful Dead.’ Its fabric hiked up , intentionally or not , giving his casual style a little extra edge.

─── This specific old shade of blue denim jeans, those grey Calvins, the belt that struggles to keep the outfit together ... His belly that just kind of vacuums in whenever it wants ... A plush land really ... The faux freckles on his cheeks which mimic sunflower seeds, and his hair that shines like a field of gold ...

A babe , though the design guilt he wears in his dark eyes remains as you capture yet another moment with your camera.

The two shy cuties in his cheeks and his keys lying abandoned on the pink carpet. His languid binks & perpetually movey lips. His Converse’s loose laces.. The unhurried. The lazy. The slow...

It’s all captured on film & as you pull the camera away from your face, he still keeps an eye on you, not necessarily looking for a reaction but... 

Well, you better... drop that feedback, or things might...

take a turn for the worse... 

And—

And they do... with him tucking his hand under his head & his shirt riding up thoughtlessly even more...

And it’s bad. It’s—It’s like he’s in charge of how you feel and is directing the scene. Like as if he’s your television & there’s no turning him off.

This almost ever so present paradoxical quality to him—a blend of approachability and impenetrability that’s hard to elaborate. Or his lazy attractiveness which simply defies logic: for he’s simultaneously doing nothing and everything, drawing you in completely without lifting a finger.

Or... how these are just a few of the countless reasons why you’ve never asked him to bring you the horizon, or, hell, dared to dream about having him.

Of how the four walls and the door close on you and how looking at him strikes you with a funny fear, making you want to melt deep into the contents of the floor.

Oh, to fuck with that...

-

Gently, you adjust the fine black lace along the hem of your brown silk dress; draw in the fluffy cardigan tighter around you; and to escape the perfect features of his perfect face, you walk up to the window. 

Yet, no matter how hard you search for a way out, the four walls of this claustrophobic room offer little in the way of escape. You’re fucking stuck... Counting your fingers anew whenever gets nothing done, and flipping through the channels on the tiny TV does nothing to clear the monotony. The minutes drag on endlessly, and no matter how many board games you play or photos you take, the clock seems to mock you. Each moment drags as if the world has hit the pause button, leaving you with him in this quiet space.

“Uuggh, coome oooon!” You stomp your feet, looking out the window. “The losers promised they’d be back by six!”

Jaehyun blows a bubble that bursts with a loud snap, grinning at you. “Ummm—You realize promises aren’t really being kept here anymore, right?”

Yeah, right... Fuck promises! You told yourself you wouldn’t get attached to him but look at you now...

Rolling your eyes, you glance out the window again, right as he asks,

“Why? Are you hungry?”

And sure, they were supposed to be the ones bringing the food, but it seems their adventure has taken a detour into yet another town at the end of the world; said, ‘This is what happens when you skip out—So, you two sort it out.’

“Some sweets would be nice. But no, um,” you tensely pull at your cardigan’s sleeves, clenching the ends in your fists. “Are they okay? I’m a little nervous.”

Though all he does is just casually burst another ridiculous bubble...“I’m sure they’re fine.”

Right… So next you’re left to watch him scrape bits of pink gum from his lips, and before you know it, a wave of irritation pulls you back to his side.

You’re barely balanced on the edge of the sofa, aiding in his clumsy efforts. Your thumb brushes against his bottom lip, and the air around him gets to your head just instantly, thick with the sugary scent of the sticky residue that you find yourself obliged to help remove... It’s so sugary that it borders on being revolting! Or perhaps it’s your sweet tooth that’s igniting this feeling?

Silly, cause you feed into this quirky theory that butterflies taste like bubblegum, and now that notion takes on a funny twist, well... considering the butterflies dancing in your stomach.

As you pull your fingers away from his lips, a rush of blood roars in his ears and he quickly adds, “Might have something in my bag, let me see.”

And totally! The bag that somehow collected a ton of pendants during this road trip does sit by the sofa, and with Jaehyun lounging back, stretching his arms overhead to grab it, his shirt gets pulled up even higher, & just like that, it becomes the cause for another thing you wish you never said.

Definitely not the sight you were hoping for... The tee hiked up, way above his ribs, exposing a good portion of his slim waist as he giggles, showing off that boyish grin while rummaging through the bag behind... still looking at you.

The eye contact ****

The fcking gum that just so erratically becomes his plaything, getting relentlessly crushed beneath the pressure of his teeth, repeatedly transforming into a sticky mass that fills his mouth, stressing the rugged contours of his strong jawline...

His fucking belly...

The happy trail...

Godsent personal hell!

Your heart is thumping away in your chest and your ribs aren’t exactly doing much to protect it. The stressed thing seems ready to pop like one of his balloons and leave you in an ever-sticker mess...

“Mmmmm...” he hums, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth and pulling a handful of candies from the bag behind him. “Let’s see what we have.”

Placing each treat onto his stomach as if the world were about to erupt in a frenzy of sugar-fueled chaos, Jaehyun carefully begins to arrange each piece, making sure they’re spaced out just right and sorted into rational portions in case such an outbreak actually happens. In no time, a vibrant array of treats sprawls across him and his funky-ridden shirt, everything from lollipops, chewy gums, gummy bears, and sour candies, to little chocolates.

Imagine a carnival! The flashy colors are super distracting, and those chocolate bars are practically begging you to grab them. Still, you can’t help but tease him a bit to annoy him, specially since you’ve been going back & forth for the past three days.

“Really,” you pout cynically, “You took this many?? You’re such a…”

With a burst of laughter that is hearty & sweet, Jaehyun sends the poor candies resting on the very sides of his waist to tumble down onto the sofa as if that earthquake had REALLY made its presence felt.

“Mmmmm- Why would I want to spend money on fancy treats? Besides...” He spaces out for a bit... then remarks with a smirk, “My theory is basically sweets are sweets.”

And he tightens his lips to seem all serious, but honestly, it just makes everything worse. The dude doesn’t even lift a finger to be funny; it’s like humour just radically appears around him, and the stuff he comes up with...

Poof! A total goof or a creative thinker? It really just comes down to your mood at the time.

You grimace once more, shaking your head at him, and subtly shift your weight to your legs rather than sitting on the sofa, your body ready to leap away at the slightest hint of contact.

With an adorable, surprised expression his eyes grow round as he stares at you, “What!?” His brows shoot up too in effort to justify himself.

“That piñata was there for everyone to go wild and, umm- grab whatever they could!” Lifting his hands defensively, he pouts, “Not my fault!”

Aaaand that fucking shirt of his?

Isss at it againnnn!@#£%^*

Your mind is reeling as the candy mountain spills over in a fun avalanche.

No, because why go through all that trouble to arrange them perfectly just to wreck it himself!?

Yeah,

anyway, you find nothing to match that, indeed it was up to anyone to snatch whatever they wanted, it just looks like he had deeper pockets than the rest of you idiots to stash all that stuff, that’s all there is to it. So you give in to the urge to ‘screw it,’ let out another eye roll, and grab a tiny bag of gummy bears.

-

As if he’s achieved something, Jaehyun’s hands find their way back beneath his head, and the flirtatious smile continues in his eyes. He just basks in the moment until your frustration—the sting of yet another cheeky defeat—causes you to fumble to open the bag and so all the gummy bears go flying everywhere. 

Add chaos?

Check!

Is he into it? 

Also, check.

The pack is but what that piñata was a few days ago, bleeding in beautiful colors and gushing all things sweet.

“Ugghhh!!” Tossing your head back, you groan dramatically.

And understandably so!!! While Jaehyun?

He beams as he sticks his tongue in his cheek, and snatches the empty bag from your hands. He casually spits his spent pink gum inside it, takes a pair of gummies from his abs, and gently runs them against his lips before sliding them in...

And t

And it’s so fucking frustrating that this guy has no clue about the importance of breaking eye contact! You’re always left searching for a word that’s stronger than ‘insufferable,’ but really, the dude just constantly goes all out with everything. Legit! 

It drives you crazy. He—

Munching on them playfully, Jaehyun thinks for a moment, swallows, & then quirks an eyebrow, smirking,

“Wanna hear what the gummies just whispered into my mouth?”

What the gummies have what??

You shake your head at his nonsense but arch a brow back. Because if you had to be honest, those jelly babies aren’t the only thing looking to spill some secrets in his mouth... So, yeah, you’re JUST listening! As a matter of fact, you’re all tuned in to catch what absurdity he’s about to dish out next.

Pushing his lips together, a bratty shape that just begs to be kissed, he sits with his answer. There’s something very precious and terribly frustrating about how he keeps his responses close like they’re the best puns ever. Then he eventually smiles, “Thank you for releasing us.”

........ Woaah, they’ve at least been honest with him! Which is... cool...

Cool! Great! Awesome! You next!

“Mmm-hmm,” for dummies, some skeptical eyes and a cynical head nod are all you have...

When the magnitude of his languid x menacing should be studied!!!

Really, a quirky cotton candy man! A sugar. A delicate toxic substance.

Like, fuck! He—He’s just- unbeatable. 

That’s an overwhelming amount of power for him to have... Like, that’s too much hot... Too much sweet… It’s no good… 

Like-

Like the doses got all jacked up when he was made... Accidentally spilled too much of each, and now he’s just a walking health risk.

Catch it!

-

The disease spreads just like it always has—quickly and definitely. This earthtone babe just knows exactly how to get under your skin.

So hard to resist... So hard to not take a bite...

It’s just how it goes, you know?

Things...

Eyes...

Fingers...

& before you realise it, your fingertips glide past his jeans, over to his skin, igniting a rush of sensations with each line you draw across his abs.

Inevitably, the air gets charged with an energy... that’s not innocent. You feel the sparks. Not the good kind of sparks, but the sinful ones... The—

-

It’s like a dream at first, experiencing the thrill of someone yearning for your touch so badly.

Jae is every bit as tough as he looks, but the moment your fingers brush against him, that narrative shifts entirely. It feels like he’s been craving your touch, and those days without it have been an unbearable! fucking! stretch!

Gentle, sensual skin, a supremely royal shade of luxury milk. Everything that’s connected with a beautiful sweet, sweet & touching is associated with him. 

He’s just spot on! And your stomach is growling. And you’re looking for a bite to eat...

In fact, you’re so down bad, your sweet tooth’s at an all-time high; honestly, you’d probably go as far as to start licking him right now.

In a straight line? Curved? In any manner that sparks your creativity? Anything real—

...The hot transference from his skin onto your hand? The way he teases his lip!?? The way he shyly and discreetly raises his hips against your touch as if silently pleading for

Thisss baddieee!!

Reading into all these crazy action bits has you all jittery that you completely jump when his hand lands on your bare thigh, right at the lace border.

nononono-

With a gulp, you instantly! rise from the couch. How—Just why did you end up falling back so e

-

Fast, desperation kicks in- just- again like those moments ago... and you’re back to pacing this same motel room, seeking an escape from him. Except every aspect now feels as if it’s been cranked up to ten times the difficulty.

The reddish-brown timber panels on the walls give off tough prison steel, and the pink carpet feels all squishy and weird under your bare feet right when you need a stable solid... All while Jaehyun is- just- there... planted in place, now seated, legs all spread, on the green sofa. There’s really nothing you can do but hope he stays right where he is. 

But! once something’s set in motion, it stays in motion. Like a wildfire racing thru dry lands, fierce and unstoppable. And you just happened to let a match slip past your fingers a heartbeat ago, screwing everything up...

Naturally, he gets up. Also, that belt of his really accomplishes nothing... it’s just there to be there, so he’s just got to pull up his baggy jeans himself before he can even take a step forward.

& what his rising does is kick off a frantic chase as you two whirl around the room in a relentless spiral, & he’s hot on your tail... The very thought of him catching up on you sends dopamine through your veins, making your pulse quicken.

Plus that stunning smile? Plus his unconditional happiness? Well, both make him even more irresistible but both also complicate things for you. The excitement mounts as he approaches in the chase, each heartbeat making the thrill even stronger; that once he abruptly stops, the sprinting exertion takes its toll.

His breath comes in heavier gasps, his cheeks are flushed with a pinch of peach, and his bangs are a tousled mess, dancing around him like dandelion fluff does in the wind. Just a pure, natural and effortless elegance. He’s so incredibly attractive it almost hurts to look at him.

The tension though peaks as his words build to a sharp climax of a fact.

“You-um- You’ve been avoiding me this whole trip.”

...That sinking feeling in your heart like a rock just hit it? Yeah...

Yeah, you wish that voice of his didn’t resonate through your very being, scraping against every nerve ending, but that’s what it always does. It freezes you in place, making you overwhelmed and powerless. 

It’s kind of wild how bringing up a heavy topic during a playful moment can make it feel that much more sincere. With so many choices, he went right for the thing that drives him crazy, and that should show you what’s on his mind... at least-

But, you-you

Instinctively, you pull the same fuzzy cardigan around you, clinging to it as though it were a barrier against him, and softly slide your hand from your sleeve, unveiling a lollipop—the only item you managed to pocket earlier.

And this should sweep everything away, right?

-

“Mhmmmm,” Jaehyun hums, back on trend —

acting like he didn’t just mention something that could spark a whole conversation...

— though this time he picks up the bat resting by the bedstand which at the beginning of the week tore through that heart piñata...

And currently, with the sun set, the moon in the sky, and the desert sky glowing a delicate lilac blue, his eyes narrow and his sly grin comes in the same old style as he twists the knob of the yellow lamp, teasing, “So... a thief, huh?” 

...It’s as if he’s putting you in the spotlight, pointing out your crime, and calling you out for being a naughty girl.

& sure, he’s got you in that tight spot he wants you in, okay? But you still tilt your head and nibble on your lip, still going at it, “Maaybee.”

-

& as you start to walk backwards, everything is still beside your breath and the gentle thud of the bat as he taps it against different surfaces. Only muted noise of what seems to be Spanish drifts in from the neighboring room, but neither of you pays it much mind.

His hands fist around the bat tightly, consumed with angry adrenaline, & veins bulge along his smooth skin, sending filthy pulses up his arms. 

It’s a sight that attracts goosebumps all along & across your skin, igniting a warmth that curls from your legs to your belly. The same very electrifying rush of adrenaline wraps around you as if he’s pulling you into the grip of that wooden bat... 

Hiss, twist, loosen, and turn, just like how his hands manipulate that wood...

And you know... it doesn’t take much to find yourself backed up against that mahogany wall.

At once, ‘trapped’ takes on an even greater weight than what it meant before. You feel twisted and turned in advance, completely taken apart by the sheer passion in his deep brown eyes.

Jaehyun lifts a brow. He’s all about this vibe. That big toothy smile of his. The way he’s locked in on you. The ‘Just a couple of steps away, baby.’

Uh-huh, but what about that horrible, horrible crave you’ve told yourself you CAN’T have!??

The itch sits on your tongue, fruity in flavour—perhaps strawberry or raspberry—you aren’t sure. A tang that lingers in your memory, the same as of candy gum that had been in the air around him earlier and one which grew bolder with each step he took toward you. This sickness makes you wish that your tongue is already wrapped in his, tightening for a deeper inspection. 

Yikes! Please, let’s just avoid that!

-

To drive away the feeling, you look down to your toes in the cotton carpet, shift your weight, and then peel away the wrapper of the lemon lolly, seeking a bitter flavor to replace the trace of his scent.

Then eventually, accept the proximity between you two as it is - as you let your back land against the wall, hoping the tension will melt away. 

Feeling the lolly along your lips, you grimace at the acid but take it...

And as you look down, even in your peripheral view, it’s clear that Jaehyun is still watching you, & you realize he’s focused on your mouth. & after giving the lollipop a couple of spins on your tongue, you proudly look up, thinking you’re good and that you’ve totally neutralized the crave for him...

-

Because the suddenly too sure of itself face?

Your neck, your collars, the hard candy prodding at your cheek?

The sleek brown silk and the intricate black lace trim which ascends higher on your thigh as you shift your weight to one leg, elegantly placing the other in front as you find your stance? And then the glossy black polish on your toenails as you draw them from a point in the carpet, just barely hovering above it, & in a straight line with him... As in ???

Yeah, absolutely not; that’s far from a quiet invite...

No! You’re totally not just ‘asking for it.’

On the spur, the dynamics shift... As you let the lemon hang in your mouth, Jaehyun abruptly brings his bat up & uses it to delicately move a piece of your hair aside, and then the very tip of the bat makes a gentle tap at the heart of your collars.

Your breath catches in your throat, a fragile spectacle he zeroes in on as your cords constrict, and then, with knitted brows you swallow in the sour juice of the sucker. 

Really!?? What more does he want of your sorry soul when you’re just trying to get through each breath?

But no! You certainly didn’t ask for it… Just remember he’s not one to give up when told to quit. So, either pack your things or choose a better design, Sugar.

Though that’s the very thing... You can’t deny the magnetic pull of Jaehyun’s game...

Sure, you’re feeling the heat from your toes to the top of your head, but let’s keep things in check, yeah?

Feeling the groove, as you pull out the lollipop to give your lips a little lick, your eyes wander down to what could be seen as a ‘dangerous tool’, and you smirk.

Jaehyun sucks in on his lip, very slowly, very cheekily. The guy’s clearly amused with you. 

“Are you seriously just going to keep looking at me like that?” you ask eventually, taking a moment before adding, “I’m not a fan of it.”

“Mmmmm,” he gives his hundredth low hum, tilting his back head just so, & flexing that tight jawline that always seems to be up for something... something explicit and offensive.

However you pout and slide the lollipop right back in your mouth.

“Tasty?”

...You had to know that was coming, right? And so, as the duel continues, you shrug, allowing a slight grimace to escape your lips, piquing his curiosity about the taste he’s missing out on.

& it runs like a charm.

As Jaehyun lets his eyelids droop in the slowest blink imaginable, &, in his infamous deep voice, says, “I waaanna taste.”

Nuh-uh, even if you tried to reject, it wouldn’t make a difference since he’s right in your face; his mouth hanging agape, eager for absolutely, really absolutely! anything you might have to offer... Cause, there’s always room for a shift in sentiments, wouldn’t you agree?

Though the ‘weapon’ somewhat still stays pointed at you...

Take notes!

For sure! But being the fantastic person you are you tap into your generous spirit & pull out the candy with a satisfying pop while Jaehyun stares at you, mischief even spilling out of his open mouth.

With only inches between you, you gently slide the bad sugar in, pushing it along his tongue and unconditionally savoring the moment and the view.

-

His slightly downturned, sultry eyes as you still hold onto the other end of the white plastic, & he keeps sucking on the lemon in his mouth.

Those damn sunken cheeks of his. The tiny scratch on his nose from a few days ago which has mostly healed, but you can still see it.

The dense, dark brows in disagreement with his bleached hair with a still lingering odor of ammonium hydroxide... Really, a look born from a reckless bet on a chaotic road trip—a decision that seemed utterly foolish but now is somehow working in his favor...

In a way, it’s even funny how the flashy hair is soooo out there… but it’s there, being just one aspect of him. Still, you have to admit its impact is real. A gutsy choice that jazzes him up a notch. This new arc he’s projecting, where it seems, he’s flirting a bit more with his impulsive side? Yeah...

Somewhere between handsome and creamy tabby cat... He’s just bursting with the most obnoxious playfulness, and he’s paired with a smile that raises up his dimples.

The way he’s making you curious and wild >>>  He’s so sexy, it’s unmatched...

And you understand the gravity of wanting such a fine man! The—

(!) The despite knowing, yet failing... or at least in what you think you know and what you think is better.

-

You’re completely focused on his lips, and in an instant, reality just seems to melt away like it’s under a spell.

Tis a state... A mood! The ninth cloud where you can’t feel the air or the ground... All there is is his insane eyes scrutinizing your reaction to what he does to the lolly, and it’s honestly the worst kind of pressure.

Finished savouring, Jaehyun’s tongue casually circles his sensuous lips, collecting all possible leftover like he’s just finished you in style.

“Ummm…” Scrunching his nose at the flirty, piquant taste, he takes a step back. Mulls over the candy choice; pushes his cooked bangs; and hesitates before he says, “Nah, this isn’t the one... I-um... I bet there’s something better out there... It’s likeee” suppresses smile in advance of saying it, “It’s just on the tip of my tongue.” His brows flatten too, mans serious! “Help me think?”

OH, Sir!

A treat that can out-beat this bittersweet taste? A goodie that packs an even bigger surprise?

Your always rambling mind goes thoughtless, & that burning need to press on drops off like a light switch. The coming panic. Your gotcha moment. You go quiet. It hits you that this is the first time your playful teasing has backfired and that maybe you can’t be bailed out of what’s to come.

Worse, as it’s one of those silences that just hangs in the air, making things feel more tense. Your self-imposed rules about ‘what you think you know’ and ‘what’s better’ dissolved, leaving you fully present and stimulated.

& Jaehyun digs right in, spreading the cavity...

He lifts the bat again, its tip gently pressing into your belly, and it’s like you can almost feel his warmth seep through it, then past the fragile silken fabric to your skin. 

You get so hot. This bizarre ripple from your legs to your tummy as you tightrope between pleasure and unease, joy and hesitation... It’s like you two are finally on the same wavelength, knowing what the other is about to say before the words even come out.

A delicate crease develops between his bushy brows which deepens as he tenderly whispers, “I’m sorry.”

“Jae- don’t.” you murmur, your lips curving into a sorrowful pout as you gently shake your head ‘no.’

Needless to say, something nuanced only you and him know...

The result of everything that’s happened...

The ‘this whole trip has messed up the trajectory of our friendship.’

The reason why he chose to hang back today...

The tactics which kicked in since everyone piled into that Jeep truck this morning & sped away. 

The from ‘getting schooled’ in all the board games to the countless Polaroids he let you snap of him, to that little “I’m sorry” hand peck he gave you that had you making the death stare, and the “Don’t ever try to do that again!”

The rude ‘skin-feeding’ masked behind the pretense of a ‘generous’ food provider.

And how you slipped past every move, pushed back, and resisted until he has put you up against this wall... and now ‘the-no-escape’.

Still and all- your pushback’s like a sport. Be afraid of what follows...

-

For Jaehyun gnaws into the very walls of your sensitivity as if sensuality were his chosen medium. Each deliberate motion of the bat becomes a brushstroke in the masterpiece of your downfall...

He glides it along the contours of your waist, teasingly skimming over your curves, trails it down your legs and inners, and even lifts the hem of your dress just enough to make your skin hurt in anticipation.

Then, it finds its way to your stomach yet again, as if to indicate something deep & unexpressed, before tracing a direct path up your sternum, sweeping along your collarbone until he’s made your cardigan slip down your arm, taking the delicate strap of your dress with it...

So much of ‘Jae, don’t,’ huh? Oh, sweetheart… 

-

Certainly, the last thing you hope he avoids is the very thing Jaehyun does...

Trailing the bat along your jawline, ultimately he rests it under your chin... Something something about a ‘clear display of dominance.’ His insane eyes about render you completely motionless as he insists on glancing between your eyes and your lips the way one searches a dictionary for definitions. Again and Again... And then gravity happens...

In an instant, the bat slips from his grasp and tumbles to the floor, making you flinch as his lips finally find their way to your bare shoulder, where seems like he’s achieved something.

Oh, the bite-

An insidious heat stroke as you moan the most promiscuous hiss there is.

“Jaee, we shou—”

“Baby-”

Vibrationssssssssss...

It comes out even more whiny as he gets all of that word muffled against your neck. It roughly cuts into your focus, seeps into your ears, and goes straight to the wrong place.

The very last thing you feel yourself do is slide left against the wall, scraping for any last escape routes, but he just moves in sync with you.

Up to the moment he—

The sound of yearning?

Jaehyun’s palms slamming into the hardwood, spreading out like wings on either side of you, creating a cage of flesh. Brushing off the idea of consent, his hot body presses against yours.

With his hands up, that whimsical teddy bear tee yet again peels from his jeans. It constricts around his arm sleeves, flexing the impressive curve of his biceps. His veins, too, scrumptiously pushed in motivation: ‘All mine! You can’t outrun this, baby. I’m keeping you right where I want you.’

Really, the rest it’s all in your perception—either a trap or a safe spot.

-

A little motel inside a world of sand... you’ve never felt smaller than you do now with him towering over you—not literally, size in drive and ambition.

You watch yourself fade&wilt in his unsettlingly lazy eyes like Valentine’s flower petals from their vase falling onto the white desk dirtied with graphite from pencil shavings and candy wrappers. 

It’s so desertly calm, that your nails accidentally strike a chord in tune as your hands casually fall past his belt buckle...

A beautiful melody that makes his dimples grow deeper, though he still tilts his head, frowning adorably as he perpetually continues to figure things out just for the sake of figuring things out...

Yeah?

Cos, what is the motive here? As your hands do settle gently at the hem of his jeans, fingers teasingly dipping into the softness of his navel?

Hook + Pull = Gravity.

Oh, man, do you make him feel insane things? Cause you’ve been on your guard for the whole day, some goals are hard!

Are you coming ahead of all his sneaky schemes? Are you a baddie too?

Cause now you’re just holding up a higher card like you’ve been doing in every game today. Maybe you... are... on top of your game... The candy of victory is better when it’s hard...

Gravity... Your lips inch closer. 

Your slightly parted lips & that parched swallow might just give Blondie a hint of how desperately you want him to melt on your tongue. And you’re over worrying about it. You even yank at his necklace.

The way his hair falls over your lashes creates a delightful distraction as your noses nearly collide. And the best you can pretend in this intimacy is filthy, “I still haven’t forgiven you.” 

“Ummmmm...”

On brand! Disturbingly sexy hum that flows like honey—a sugary glaze, coating your lips in a deliciously gooey way. You’re hit with the sting & the toxin even before Jaehyun has a chance to consider kissing you or taking any steps. He smiles, he’s just that awful...

“You will.”

-

Alas,

the abrupt grating noise of tires screeching to a stop cuts through the dull ambience outside. A lively group seems to spill out of the truck, loud and as if they’ve just been recharged. A voice you both instantly recognize calls out, saturated with sarcasm and clearly wanting to grab ‘someone’s’ ears. 

“Greeat! We’ve just rolled into ‘Losers Place!’”

-

What a Dullass Bullshit Scenario... for Losers.

Jaehyun scoffs lightly, giving a flimsy half-eye roll, his lips pursed in a way that shows just how unimpressed he is with the moment... Inexplicable urgency drives his body into yours one last time, likely a final act of connection.

He hadn’t even had the chance to pin your hands above your head or hold your jaw in a way that would leave you feeling completely—

There was no pulling of hair, nor did you wrap your arms around his neck to-to—

Nor did your tongue map out the crossroads on his stomach...

Or—

Clear anger paints your temple, too, each line bearing frustration... Just there’s something about keeping it a secret that bodies the danger factor, making everything feel so much more smoky and intense.

& you pout as much, nudging your nose against his as to where you feel all deprived but electrified by simply- just- doing that, softly whispering against his lips, breath all drenched,

“Do you think they know?”

Girlie, Fuck! Do you know what you do to him?

© 𝟭-𝟰𝟵. do not copy, translate, repost, and modify my works.

[tokiwarcube]

How are the boys when their s/o is away on a trip for a while? Like which ones call constantly? Which ones are calm? Any have separation anxiety?

This was fun to think about, and very well timed! +Charles as well -- Enjoy! <3

Charles Foster Offdensen

Have fun for him, won’t you? Charles will absolutely miss you while you’re gone — with the lives you share, you don’t always have too much time to spend together, not to say that he won’t miss the time you do get — but he’s happy that you’ll be having a good time. His biggest worry is about your safety, but that’s nothing a few Klokateers can’t fix.

He looks forward to your nightly phone call more than ever — after a long day of running around, his steady voice is so nice to listen to. And you know, it’s funny — he’s already less stiff around you, but over the phone, he’s a little more willing to just be a bit silly. Especially as time goes on. Maybe it’s because of the distance that comes with a call. Maybe he just misses you.

And he’d be lying if he didn’t pay just a little bit more attention to the vibration of his phone, just in case you send him a text or a photo. He might not respond immediately, but he does look forward to hearing from you.

He does find himself thinking of you often — certain colors, trinkets, your interests… he’ll text you about them every now and then, just to let you know you’re in his thoughts.

Please send him a postcard or two, if you’re able. He likes physical items like that, especially if you scrawl a little note on the back.

10/10, he’ll be sure to take you on a nice date when you get home to make up for lost time.

Nathan Explosion

Listen, Nathan isn’t the most talkative man on Earth. Or in the States. Or in Mordhaus. Or, anywhere, really. No, his way of showing love is through spending time together. He loves getting up in the afternoon morning with you, going through your morning routine, watching you pick out your outfits… loves to just you know, exist with you. He thought he was going to be fine while you were gone, but everyone in a 30mi radius could tell he was not.

Spoiler alert: He is not.

He’s awkward on phonecalls, and is abysmal on videocalls (can’t hold a phone straight to save his life), so while he will 100% try, he’s not… he’s not great. But you know, just keep him updated with your daily activities — send photos of your adventures, of your outfit choices in the morning, of the random shit you found in the shops… it makes him feel just a little less alone. And he’ll try to do the same, even if the photos are always weirdly out of focus. He does better at the random voice notes he’ll send to you — now those, those make you feel more at home. It’s usually just some random thing he’s been thinking of — maybe it’s a random verse he’s been noodling at, maybe it’s an idea for some new too-expensive project, maybe it’s just some random thought that won’t leave him alone. But they mean a lot.

Other than that, he does fairly decent at distracting himself — if there was any time for a good-old friender-bender, it’s now.

5/10, Pickles is doing his damndest to keep him away from the tequila.

Pickles the Drummer

He’s been preparing for this day from the moment you put it on the calendar. He just knows he’s going to be horrific, going to spin himself in circles, going to chew his own arm off, and—

He’s actually fine. He thought he was going to be shaking like a chihuahua in your absence, but all things considered, he’s actually pretty damn okay! I mean yeah, he looks forward to your call at night, and he gets a bit sad if you ever have to miss it, but he’s not basing his entire day around the void your absence has made. Part of that comes from the photos you send throughout the day — he knows you haven’t just fucked off and abandoned him, which honestly, was his biggest worry. The other half of his nonchalance comes with his lifestyle. I wouldn’t say he’s drinking more now that you’re gone, but also… he’s bored. He’s not drinking himself to death, mind you, it’s just… Pickles.

He for sure gets a bit sappier when he’s really under the influence — he will be showing photos of your adventures to anyone who will listen. And to anyone who won’t. He’s glad you’re having a good time, genuinely.

Might as well go on a good old friender-bender while he has the time, though.

9/10, surprisingly normal, but someone should really look into his liver — how it hasn’t shut down by now is anyone’s guess.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

When its time for your trip, he thinks he’s gonna do great in your absence. Love you to death, but it’ll be nice to play guitar in the middle of the night again without having to worry about waking you up. And he can finally watch that horror movie you said he’d hate because for some reason you’re convinced that he hates them. Oh! And he can finally try his hand at drinking Nathan under the table again, and—

He has a whole list of stupid shit planned out, and he doesn’t even make it an hour before he’s smacked with a very crushing loneliness. He finds himself turning to murmur to you, only to have your usual space just… empty.

The weight of your absence is stunning, and he refuses to admit how much he misses you. But you can take a guess, with how much he draws out your midnight phonecalls. And really, its hard to keep up the dirty talk for that long without getting cliche— how about you just tell him about your day?

4/10, emotionally constipated Swedish man ends up in ER with repetitive strain injuries to the fingers and wrist, more news at 10:00.

Toki Wartooth

Toki considers himself to be fairly adaptable. I mean sure, he misses you half to death, but he can function without you. Plus, he always has his memory boxes and scrapbooks for when he’s particularly longing, and he always has the ability to call!

By which I mean, he’s calling you almost any chance he gets. But to be fair, that’s not too much different from when you’re at home — he just likes to talk to you. He keeps you updated on all of the shenanigans at Mordhaus, so you never really feel too far from home. But now that you’re off on your own adventure, he wants to hear all about it! Please send him photos!

Genuinely, he does great at surviving without you. That is, until it comes time to sleep — he didn’t realize how good you were at keeping the nightmares at bay. Expect a slightly longer call at night — he probably won’t tell you about the nightmares, but he does get a bit whinier about you coming home.

8/10, surprisingly adaptable, but please bring him a trinket. No, it does not matter that he could buy every item in the country thrice over — he would still like a little trinket.

William Murderface

He does not miss you, he’s just buying a casket and writing his will because it’s a fun, Tuesday activity.

Okay, he’s lying, he misses you so fucking much it’s unreal. It just feels weird to, you know, say it like that. He’d be calling you 24/7 if you weren’t out and about, living your life. So instead, he texts. There’s no obligation to respond immediately, mind you… but a few updates here and there would be deeply appreciated.

He tries his absolute best to distract himself while you’re gone — maybe Planet Piss will finally get it’s first EP down (false) — with varying success. His chief method of distraction comes to hanging out with the band… and the boys are texting you by the end of the week to please come home, because they’re having to beat him off with a stick. He’s also weirdly agitated with everyone but you, which certainly doesn’t help matters… but on the phone, he’s just as soft as could be.

3/10, he’s going to chew his own leg off at this rate. Someone save him, please.

[spence-whore]

Hii!! I don’t know if you take requests but if you do can you do a enemies to lovers fic with spencer? I would love if the person was best friends with Courtney too!

Summer Games

Spencer Agnew x Reader

A/N please keep in mind while reading this, I have no fucking clue how far things are in California from their office. I was just writing this as if they were traveling to somewheres that’s a good six to seven hours from where they usually locate for work. They wanted to pick up supplies and outfits for the videos but the shopping outlet that had everything they wanted was hours from where they were headed to. Also, I do not see Spencer as a dick lmao this honestly doesn’t match his personality from what we see. I don’t know if this is really an enemies to lovers but i hope this did your request justice <3 this one is a lil spicy, it alludes to smut but there isn’t smut.

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It was that time of year again that everyone loved. The entire office would make a trip out to a certain location and film the most out of pocket challenges for the Summer Games. This year they were all headed out to Bonnie Springs Ranch. Before heading there, they were all making a pit stop for the night and staying at a hotel because they all didn’t have the time to get some stuff from the stores. Their idea was that it would be easier to stay somewhere close to a shopping outlet than to go there then have to travel far the next day, to go to the store. You thought maybe, just maybe, you would get lucky and get to ride with Courtney, Olivia, Shayne, and Keith but nope. You were currently in the process of getting your stuff together, to be stuck in a car with Spencer and only Spencer.

“This will give you two the chance to talk everything out, you know?” You heard a voice say from behind you. You glanced around to see Courtney standing there, arms crossed, staring at you. You knew she was right but you did not want to admit that.

“I just don’t understand how I got stuck with him.” You said, turning around to face her. “Why couldn’t we have taken a car with someone else? Why do I have to get stuck with him and nothing else but camera equipment.”

Courtney just laughed and shook her head, “Why do you hate him so badly? He genuinely is not a bad guy. He is actually really funny and really sweet.” You just snorted and shook your head right back at her. “Okay, Court, I love you to death but you gotta remember, everyone loves you. You are such a sweetheart and so nice to everyone. So, of course, you have nothing but positive experiences with him. He just hates me and is rude towards me. I don’t know what it is.”

Little did you know, Trevor and Damien were currently having a similar conversation with Spencer.

“Dude, just admit that you have feelings for them. If you do, it will make your life so much easier.” Trevor said while spinning around in an office chair.

“I don’t have feelings for them. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Spencer said while gathering his stuff into his bookbag.

Damien scoffed and in a mocking tone said, “I don’t have feelings for them. Spencer, Brennan literally sat and showed me like five photos where you were looking at her like you were a child in a Lego store.”

“I just don’t understand how I got stuck with them. I literally said I would help with the vlogs on the way there.” Spencer explained, ignoring what Damien said.

“You’re gonna be real pissed whenever you hear the sleeping arrangements at the hotel.” Spencer heard from Shayne, who was approaching the conversation. No one knew who booked the rooms exactly but Spencer had a feeling that it was Ian. Ian had been on his back about admitting his feelings towards a certain someone. He had knew before Shayne had even said it.

“Please tell me you’re fucking kidding me.” Spencer said, flopping down into his office chair.

Back at your desk, Courtney and Angela, who had now joined the mix, were helping you grab your bags to put into your car. Angela was going on about how excited her and Amanda were to be apart of one of the summer games that the fans love so much.

The three of you were walking down the hall as you approach an elevator, you heard talking coming from the hall to the left of you. You glance over to see Trevor and Spencer walking and talking with bags in their hands.

“Can I please just get one break before this long car ride?” You mumbled to yourself as they got closer.

“Oh, uh, I’ll just another elevator.” You heard Spencer tell Trevor before they turned around and walked off.

“Y/N. You and him just need to make out and get it over with already.” Angela blurted out. This comment caught you so off guard and caused Courtney to lose it while walking into the elevator.

The three of you made it out of the building and made it over to your car before Spencer and Trevor arrived. The three of you were loading stuff into the car while making small talk before two cars pulled around to pick up Angela and Courtney.

“Please don’t kill each other.” Courtney whispered as she pulled you into a hug and gave you a soft smile.

You just went ahead and got into the car and waited on Spencer to get down there. A few minutes passed by and you hear two voices going on about some video game that was coming out soon.

“And yeah, they are supposed to have-“ One of the voice cut off and you realized it was because they noticed you were in the car and were waiting for you to pop the trunk.

“Oh, sorry.” You yelled back to the guys behind the car.

Spencer, Trevor, and Damien stood there putting a couple of bags into the trunk then filled the back seat with different bags of camera stuff, different laptops, and random supplies that had already been bought.

“Well, I suppose this is where we leave you two. Please don’t murder each other. Become like best friends or something at the end of this car ride.” You heard Damien say as he approached your window. He placed his hand on your shoulder and gave you a soft smile. “Drive safe, remember text if you have to make any stops or if there is anything wrong.”

Spencer got into the passenger seat and didn’t say anything to you. He just buckled in and sat back.

“Uh, you can play music if you want.” You whispered, awkwardly nodding towards his phone.

An hour passed by and the car ride was not that bad. The two of you had listened to some music till Spencer had fallen asleep. You were in an area where there wasn’t any traffic. You decided to grab Spencer’s phone to pause the music then turn on The Basement Yard’s new episode on Spotify. You glanced over at Spencer and he honestly looks kind of cute.

“What the fuck am I thinking?” You whispered to yourself and took a sip of your monster. “I’m just getting tired.”

The Basement Yard was only ten minutes in before you were losing it. You were having to constantly cover your mouth, trying to not laugh really loudly.

You heard stirring from beside you and could see Spencer sitting up slowly in his seat. “What are we listening to?” Spencer asked while rubbing at his eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I woke you up. It’s the Basement Yard,” You tapped your phone and held it up to show him. “If you want, I can disconnect this and you can go back to playing music.”

He shook his head no while grabbing his Mountain Dew Kickstart. “It’s okay, you didn’t wake me up. We can listen to the rest of this episode. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of them before.”

There was something lingering in the air once he woke up. It went from really relaxing to really tense and awkward. It’s like the elephant of the two of yours relationship was sitting in the backseat.

Thirty more minutes had passed by and you couldn’t handle it. You just wanted to ask the question that had been lying on your chest. You just leaned forward, grabbed your phone, and paused the episode.

“Why do you hate me?” You asked bluntly before glancing over at Spencer.

Spencer looked like he had been shot at and was just staring at you blankly. He was quiet for a minute before speaking up, “I don’t hate you.”

All you could do was laugh. “That’s pretty funny because you are so nice to everyone else at the office. You crack jokes with everyone and everyone has nothing but nice things to say about you. You avoid me at all costs.”

Spencer took a big chug of his Mountain Dew Kickstart before turning in his seat to face you. “It’s because you honestly infuriate the shit out of me sometimes.” He says while staring at you, again with a blank expression.

“Please, tell me how I make you mad. If I’m being quite honest, I have been nothing polite to you till I got tired of your shit.” You said with a scoff and turning your head to make sure there was no traffic coming before making a turn.

“How in the hell could you not make me angry?” Spencer said before laughing. “You’re little miss perfect. Everyone in the office loves you. You could never do anything wrong. Hell, even the fans are absolutely obsessed with you.”

You were on a straight shot road, so you just turned your head to stare at him for a few seconds before shaking your head. “Little miss perfect? Seriously? Do I need to tell you how many times I hear about how much everyone loves you at the office? Don’t get me wrong, you are good at your job but oh my fucking god. It is praise after praise from everyone.”

Spencer just laughed before shaking his head and grabbing your phone. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Just keep driving.” He said and continues to podcast episode.

A few hours passed by and finally, you were approaching the hotel you all were staying at for the night. The second you pulled in, you jumped out of the car to see Courtney and Shayne standing by their car talking.

“Oh my god, hey you two didn’t kill each other!” You hear Courtney shout from across the parking lot. You just grabbed your bags and quickly walked towards them to head inside.

“Yeah, well I’m about to fucking wring his neck.”

You got inside and grabbed your key to your head then headed up the elevator. Before the door could close, Tommy and Ian were stepping in.

“How was your car ride?” Tommy asked with an innocent smile on his face.

“Oh, me and him are just absolutely besties now!” You said in a sarcastic tone and gave Tommy and Ian a fake smile.

“Hopefully it wasn’t too bad because you two share a room.” Ian said before giving you a soft smile and stepping out on his floor.

It was just you and Tommy left in the elevator as it went up a few more floors. “If it gets bad between you two tonight, you can always come to my room.” Tommy offered and placed his hand on your arm, giving it a soft squeeze.

“It’s just so tiring because I don’t understand why he hates me.” You said giving him a frown.

“Sweetheart, maybe you need to take a moment to think about why it bothers you so much.” He said before giving you a knowing look.

You would never admit it out loud but you had feelings for the person he is whenever he isn’t around you. How could you not? You see how he is with everyone whenever you aren’t in the room. He is always so happy and laughing. God, his laugh was like music to your ears. He is such a beautiful man. He is just so nice to look at. Whenever you enter the room, it’s like seeing a little kid who had their favorite toy taken away.

You and Tommy stepped out on the hotel floor and gave each other polite goodbyes before heading towards your rooms on the opposite sides of the hall.

You entered the room, looked around, then decided to get settled in for the night. There were two seperate beds and a bathroom. You placed your bags onto the bed you planned on sleeping on then grabbed your stuff you needed to shower. You figured Spencer wouldn’t be there for a while, so you would just grab your clothes whenever you were finished. You were wrong though.

A few minutes into you showering, Spencer entered the room and just flopped down on his bed. He laid there for a few minutes before sitting up and scooting to the top of the bed and got on his phone. Neither you or him knew the kind of night that was ahead.

You turned the shower off and dried off, standing there for a few minutes to see if you ever heard anything. “I guess he’s sleeping in another room or staying with someone till late as possible.” You whispered to yourself while wrapping your towel around you. You grabbed the door handle and swung the door open to see Spencer sitting on his bed, scrolling through an app.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t think to grab my clothes cause I didn’t think you would come straight here.” You said awkwardly apologizing while stepping out of the bathroom. You quickly shuffled to your bag to grab your pajamas for the night.

“Why did you think I wasn’t coming here? This is my room too, you know.” Spencer said, glaring over at you.

All you could do was laugh, “I’m not arguing with you while I’m naked Spencer. Can we actually have a civil conversation for once and figure this the fuck out?” You were so tired of him throwing hateful comments your way.

He didn’t say anything, so you went back into the bathroom to change into your clothes.

Little did you know, Spencer wasn’t saying anything because he was fighting not telling you why he couldn’t stand being in a room with you for more than a minute.

“Okay, can we please just talk about this?” You said turning the corner and sitting atop your bed.

Spencer felt like he couldn’t breathe. You irritated the shit out of him but god, there was something about the way you looked right now that was making him melt. The way your hair looked pushed back out of your face, the way your sweatpants hugged your hips yet were so baggy, the way your shirt was so baggy. You just looked so soft and comfortable. He was fucked.

“I’m really not in the mood to talk about this right now, Y/N.” Spencer said before rolling over and turning the light off that was sat on the table beside his bed.

Something just snapped in you and you started tearing up. You don’t know why but god, it made you feel like an idiot. “I just want to know what I did to you, Spencer.” You whispered trying to not start sobbing. You noticed whenever you said this, his entire body tensed up. “It’s so stupid but I have this thing where I want everyone’s approval. I know I shouldn’t care if someone doesn’t like me. I guess it’s just tied to my trauma or whatever.”

He turned around slowly on his side and he had some hesitation in his movement. He just pushed himself up and stared at you. The look on his face just made you ramble even more.

“I have never felt good enough for people. So, I put on this huge persona. I guess you could compare it to masking. I feel like I have to be this upbeat, perfect person that is never allowed to be tired or depressed. I always think maybe my personality will make up for my looks because I absolutely hate myself. Maybe if I always make others laugh or smilie, they’ll overlook my weight or my hair or-“ Spencer cut you off by laughing and you felt like a complete idiot.

“Do you realize how stupid you are?” Whenever he said this, it felt like someone stuck a knife into your chest. “Shit, I worded that so badly. You are not stupid. You’re actually one of the smartest people I know.” He started to stand up from his spot and come towards you, “Is it okay if I sit here?” He said softly, pointing to a spot beside you.

At this point, it was like the damn in you broke. You couldn’t stop crying. It was like seeing you cry made that spot soften up so much for you in him.

“I don’t hate you. I should’ve just swallowed my pride and just talked to you.” Spencer whispered before laughing.

“You don’t have to lie, Spencer. I don’t blame you for avoiding me and never talking to me. I’m literally the most obnoxious person. I’m just always so ov-“

Spencer didn’t think. He just grabbed your face and kissed you. You didn’t kiss him back, you just froze. You never thought there was at any point in this world he would do something like that.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have done that.” Spencer said standing up really quickly and grabbing his jacket off his bed.

You jumped up really fast and grabbed his wrist before he could run. “Please don’t leave me.” You whispered. You couldn’t get any other word out than that. He just stared at you for a minute before talking. “I think I’ve avoided you all of this time because I never wanted to admit to myself how in love I am with you, you know? I thought maybe if I avoided you, I wouldn’t have to face these feelings and deal with the potential heartbreak of getting rejected.” He said as he sat slowly on his bed with you still holding onto his wrist.

“Wait, what did you just say?” It was like your brain shut off the second you heard him say, “how in love I am with you.”

He started to repeat himself but he stopped talking because you couldn’t stop laughing. He was just staring at you like you were crazy. You were stood in front of him, just cracking up, still holding onto his wrist. You let it go and just stepped closer to him, between his thighs. He stared up at you with this confused look.

“Spencer?” You asked, still giggling.

“Yes?” He responded, scared of where this conversation was about to go.

“You’re telling me, we have avoided each other for years because we both started to develop feelings for each other. We acted like literal school children and became hateful towards each other because we have feelings for each other.” You explained still chuckling over the situation.

“Wait, excuse me?” Spencer asked leaning back a little to look up at you with this bewildered look.

You just did the only thing you could think of and that you wanted to do. You slowly tested the waters, placing one knee on one side of his thigh and looked at him. He realized what you were doing and his hand immediately went to the side of your thigh. You placed your hand on his chest and pushed him back on the bed before placing your other knee on the other side of his thigh.

“Say the word and I’ll stop.” You whispered looking down at him.

“Please don’t.” He responded, leaning upwards to wrap his hands around your neck and pulled you down on top of him.

Hours passed by and before you knew it, it was morning.

You were woke up to your alarm going off and you slowly sat up in your bed. “Noooo.” You hear a voice groggily say beside you before you pulled back down.

Spencer was immediately glued to your side and stuck his face onto the side of your neck, placing soft kisses down your neck and down to your collarbone.

You reached over to your phone while giggling, trying to push him on. The second your phone hit your hand, it started blowing up with notifications.

It flashed and all you saw was a text from Courtney

Courtbort

when i said become friends, i didn’t mean keep us up all night banging LMAO

[hopeastrz]

𝐋𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈.🦢༉‧₊˚.

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫/𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 + 𝐈’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ����𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐭.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: 𝐔𝐦𝐦𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐥 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐨, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!.

Funny thing about this specific return chart is that it’s quite literal sometimes, i remember having 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟒𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 a couple months ago and the amount of Plumbing issues we had was infuriating, in the kitchen, master bathroom and the other bathrooms literally everything water-related was fucked.

The amount of selfies and photos i posted on social media when i had 𝟑𝐑𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 was crazy, is like i went on a rampage, but i really felt like sharing lots of aesthetics then.

Also with this placement i got catcalled and flirted with too.. since it 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈.

𝟔𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒, 𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐎 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 𝟔,𝟏𝟖 may make you want to start a brand new routine or just have this urge to change your life, because you’ll get more critical on yourself.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒 — 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 will make you stick to whatever plan you have and be entirely dedicated to it until you finish it, which is why i recommended starting important things during that time.

On the other hand 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒 — 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 may make things a bit difficult. In 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 case you will work yourself til death literally, your body will beg you for mercy because without even noticing you’ll become a slave to that task, so beware of workaholism lmao.

𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄 though makes you feel drained, like you just have no willpower to do anything and instead your energy will be wasted on daydreaming about what you should’ve done and the actions you should’ve taken to complete that matter, anxiety may take a toll on you during that month more than ever too.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒 — 𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 with these aspects you may be easily exposed to different kinds of addictions so don’t start any negative habit then because it’ll stick.

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 — 𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 may or may not make you try a new clothing style, like just change your wardrobe and wear things you never imagined you’d wear, maybe even add unique pieces to your outfits, corsets for example.

Having 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 to 𝟑 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐒 or more is actual hell, no because when this happened i was fighting demons every single day, i can say that this specific month kicked my ass so bad i literally couldn’t function properly without having murrder on my mind 24/7..

.. 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐍 aspected 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐔𝐍, 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍, 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒, 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒, 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐋𝐔𝐓𝐎 all 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒.. let me tell you that till this day i shiver whenever i remember how these 30 days went by.. felt like i experienced a year worth of pain in a month.

𝟏𝟏𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐍 get ready to compare yourself with your friends, you’ll feel insecure around them.

If you have 𝟏𝐒𝐓, 𝟓𝐓𝐇, 𝟗𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐔𝐌, be sure that’ll be one of the best months of the year, i usually travel and go on vacations when i have this placement, or just spend most of my time in entertaining places.

𝐒𝐔𝐍, 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒, 𝐉𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 you’ll be girl mathin’ alot bestie, because money will appear out of thin air in your bank account and you’ll spend it just as fast as it came…

Wanna know on what? Depending on the 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 (𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰) + 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬 since it’s the area of attracting.

𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: let’s say this month you have Leo on the 2nd house in the lunar return chart, you’ll go then and see where is Leo in your natal chart, you found it for example in the 9th house?, (meaning you’re a Sagittarius rising), then the 2nd house in lunar return chart falls on your natal 9th house.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐂: obviously you’ll spend more money on yourself more than anything else, probably on sports equipment, gym or any body movement related thing, you may spend money to change your looks too.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐔𝐒, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄: obviously Venus themed stuff, like perfumes, jewelry, necklaces specifically, luxury themed stuff too, maybe marble status, paintings things that add beauty and food too!.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝟑𝐑𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄: books!, things for your school, cute stationary, notebooks, backpacks, transportation like subway or your own car, maybe even travel, also on your phone you may buy a new case for it or fix an issue that requires you to pay some money.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐂: you may buy things for the kitchen, baking ingredients too, new furniture, it may be essentials or just things for comfort, you may buy things for your mother, or new born baby if your expecting any, just femininity related stuff.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐎, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝟓𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄: art, art and art again, kinda cliché but when i had this placement i remember buying lots of canvas, colors and art books because yeah painting is a hobby of mine, moving on You may spend money on your lover, or just entertainment in general, go to the theater, cinema, amusements or museums, things that bring you joy!.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐎, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝟔𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄: Foodstuffs, clothing, on your health, pets, a new routine that you’ll follow, healthy food because you may start a new diet. Cleaning products too, or your fitness.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐂: you may spend your money on legal stuff, contracts and all things official for example getting your passport done or things that has something to do with legal work, you may also spend your money on marriage if you’re getting married, spend your money on your long term partner, on make-up, sweets, also you may buy things for your coworkers like donuts or something.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝟖𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄: this one was kinda hard to interpret, however you may spend on Sexual relationships and commitments of all kinds, sex toys, and literally any sexual related thing, also on your finances, paying debt, rent or things that may transform you like surgeries, and beauty surgeries.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝟗𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄: when i had this placement i spent most of my money on college stuff, also on books and knowledge, religious stuff, souvenirs or stuff that will stay with you long term, i was also getting ready to travel so i bought things that i needed on my vacation.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐂: i have a feeling that you’ll save some money and you’ll be more financially responsible during this, however if you spend you’ll spend money that’ll aid you in your career or help your public image, like giving to charities and stuff like that, you may also spend on government stuff.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒, 𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝟏𝟏𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄: keep your money in your pockets and don’t pamper your friends honey, please i know it’s a difficult urge to fight.. you may pay your electricity bills then, also on your phone, hang out more, spend money on desires that emerge during that month or things you’ve long wanted and hoped for.

𝟐𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒, 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄: the amount of pillows and sheets i bought once due to this placement lmao, and i also started getting into spirituality more so i remember buying my first ever tarot card deck then, and also some plants that helps in cleansing my energy etc.. you may also spend money on laundry, and eat lots of sea food.

[teecupangel]

this isn't like an AU or anything but I think it'd be funny if Desmond worked at one of those bars that played popular shows and recorded their entire bar reacting to them. Game of Thrones was a popular one for this when it was playing. and it'd be funny to have Desmond have that "half paying attention mostly doing his job" kind of knowledge of popular shows. (and also imagine if that was how he was first noticed by Abstergo he'd be so mad he doesn't really use youtube and he didn't know the bar was recording it) (or he does know they record and instead he wears a mask during those events and gets a weird following online of people looking for him during the reaction videos like an active where's waldo)

This would work since Desmond would be still working in Bad Weather when Season 1 (2011) and 2 (2012) first aired.

Customers and regulars would first notice him because he doesn’t seemed to know a lot of tv shows or even movies but he likes to listen to people talk about them.

He’s also quite handsome and a lot of people like to comment that he could be an actor if he wanted to (or a model if he doesn’t know how to act)

Desmond just laughs it off, unable to tell them that, considering he’s hiding his past to everyone, he’s pretty much acting as the normal dude Derek Miller for years now.

He’s happy with his life and there’s no way in hell that he would jeopardize it by plastering his face all over those screens by becoming an actor and getting his father’s ‘cult’ on his tail.

He did realize that a lot of people liked to take pictures and videos when he’s working (especially when they’re playing the newest episode) but Desmond has had a lot of practice of dodging cameras as it was part of the training on the Farm (“Remember, Desmond, the Templars is always watching”)

This causes people to talk about the hot bartender that is so hard to get in photos and videos. It becomes like a game to the regulars because they honestly believe Desmond isn’t doing this on purpose.

Then, during the 2nd season’s final episode (because it just became so much popular), the bar decided to make all the employees wear costumes and everyone decided that Desmond just feels like he would do well as Jon Snow.

Desmond agreed because he didn’t really mind but he realized that he fucked up when everyone wants to take a picture of him because (1) he does rock the Jon Snow outfit and (2) he’s hot.

The fact that his father’s cult or the supposed evil megacorporation didn’t come bursting through his doors afterwards gave Desmond the courage to try for a motorcycle license.

And the rest, as they call it, is history.

[science-lings]

Being annoying about each option under the cut

1- Ryunosuke has no other pictures of his bestie's face except for the one of his 'corpse' and that is Fucked Up, which is why I love it. this hc is based on the fact that during my playthrough I looked at the picture so many times bc I missed him immediately. Anyway 1-2 was the worst day of his life and the moment where he was given the photo for the first time really stuck with me.

2- They get to switch off being each other's judicial assistants and they both get to be different flavors of transmasc, I think it would be fun for them. Would they have to attend classes at Yumei to even be considered lawyers? who knows the point is they do it together and are like those cats that bond together and get sad when they get separated.

3- If they are in the same room together that sword is being switched back and forth several times, 'I think it matches your outfit today' or 'I'm on my period I shouldn't be in possession of a deadly weapon' or 'you said in the custody agreement that I get it on weekends' etc etc etc... Though it tends to go with Ryunosuke when they are separated for long periods of time. That sword is symbolic of so much gay shit in these games what's a little more.

4- my guy talks about 'the look' in Ryunosukes eyes so much during the last case, what are you looking into his eyes for? Heterosexual reasons? sure... (also 'fancy meeting you here' that is a pick-up line, you're in a prison, not a bar) Anyway his feelings towards Ryunosuke are complicated and he's so mad that at least one of the feelings in the emotional cocktail is something like attraction)

5- There's that disaster lesbian thing going on but also the situation was pretty stressful but one day she will wake up and it will hit her that her friend was still very interested in her even after she knew it was her in the disguise.

6- Sholmes keeps trying to refer to himself as 'the root of all evil' and how he's 'drawn to the darkness', he's trying so hard to be edgy but he's a six-foot-tall lanky blond man who is dramatic in the silly way and drapes himself over Ryunosuke at every opportunity. Either he's trying to build some kind of reputation or he wants to appeal to the local goth milf populace (Sithe and Tusspells) or even the reaper himself (there's some messy ex energy going on over there...)

7- I need Phoenix to inherit Karuma, he knows a bit about it but he doesn't make a big deal about it. He does have a few prosecutor friends who know the blade and are so annoyed that he's not super proud to own it. Also it's funny to me if the only family that Phoenix knows are a couple of victorian lawyers that haunt him. I think they should watch over him and be a little horrified. Ryunosuke was excited when he was intending to be a performing arts student as a fellow drama kid but it doesn't surprise him that he chose to become a lawyer. It's in his blood.

8- You cannot tell me Ryunosuke didn't want to fling himself off of that boat every night he was stuck in the room he thought Kazuma was killed in. He just didn't want to ruin Susatos trip to England by leaving her alone and he goes into a depression when she leaves for Japan, going so far as to avoid looking at the photo the 221b fam took before she left because it made him sad, which gets put up every time by Sholmes who Gets It. Meaning that he went up to the Naruhodo consulting agency regularly to check up on him. I like to think Sholmes was genuinely worried during the months he spent banned from the courtroom and without his weirdgirl who he bonded with through his best friends 'death'.

9- Wagahai is a good kitty, she can tell who the most depressed person in the building is and follows them around, sometimes Ryunosuke has a nightmare and wakes up with a cat right up by his face.

10- Ryunosuke starts the Naruhodo family tradition of not talking about their personal lives to people they care about and making their own little patchwork family for themselves. Practically all we know about his past is that he's afraid of doctors and studied English from a young age. And then like three months after going to a new country and meeting new people he's just like 'neat this is my family now :)' there is something going on there I swear. I have many conflicting ideas about what it could be specifically though.

[rockyteriyaki]

TEAM BUILDING ACTIVITIES 👯

s/o to @powerful-owl for starting this meme and @disarmd for the insanely funny contribution, it’s such a delightful thought exercise! here’s my attempt:

MASCOTS!

american sports have hella mascots, so every team is tasked to create a marketable mascot that could represent them for u.s fans. they also have to build a little model to pitch the concept. there’s the williams whale sharks. the aston martin martinis. lando and oscar devise a walking papaya named penny who looks so much like a vulva oscar backs out almost instantly.

GUESS THE GRID based on clothing choices: drivers assemble an outfit they’d wear and then everyone else tries to guess who picked what. the catch is that the f1a girls did the same challenge and their answers are mixed in as well. everybody thinks doriane’s mercedes-themed picks are george’s and maya gets confused for charles even though there’s no ferrari branding to be seen. chloe’s picked a haas cap with a black skirt and we watch nico hulkenberg go through every emotion known to man trying to figure out why kevin would—???

(meanwhile the academy grid is absolutely ripping everybody’s style choices to shreds, accusing hamda of being the most basic bitch on the planet bc max chose to wear basketball shorts, etc)

PADDOCK SCAVENGER HUNT

5 teams are in on it and the other 5 can’t know what’s going on, otherwise they lose points. charles pretends that he’s too tired to walk when pierre catches him searching the top of a cabinet on carlos’ shoulders. oscar distracts williams while lando tries to get a picture of logan with red, white and blue objects in the background. yuki gets stranded on top of the rbr motorhome because daniel won’t stop using him for reconnaissance and the whole thing gets called off because max sees them squabbling on the roof and thinks the rapture has arrived.

GEORGE AND ALEX MAKE GRAPHICS

ib george’s natural talent for graphic design. the audience gets to see what a communications team actually does in motorsport (educational!) and george and alex get free reign of the entire library of press photos of eachother. george is hunting for a terrible picture of alex to edit onto a podium but ends up having a very verbal crisis about how none of the pap shots are appropriately bad and then spends the next half an hour digging himself into theeee deepest hole talking about how it’s just not as FUNNY if alex looks TOO GOOD on the podium! it would be UNFAIR! alex is squirming and trying to remember where tf he was planning on going with this zoomed-in great-gatsby-esque picture of george’s eyelids on his screen right now. george silently edits alex’s teeth out of his mouth and tries to erase the fact that he just called alex handsome like 47 times.

MARIO KART SIM RACING

im talking full immersion. sherbet land is ice fucking cold. every time they drive over some kind of giant clock or railroad or something the sim porpoises like a jackhammer. someone is standing behind them with a full tank of water for the splash sections. there’s a legitimate epilepsy warning at the start of the video. bowser puts the fear of god into lando norris.

MAX AND DANIEL DO TEMPORARY TATTOOS

i’m hesitant to allow them access to a bowl of water but i have an extremely clear vision of daniel slapping tats all over the blank spaces on his skin to the point where they overlap and he’s just got shiny plasticky tattoo skin everywhere. max would find this unappealing and also stupid until he realizes all the fake tattoos on his side of the table are replicas of daniel’s actual ones. cut to: daniel with a snake tattoo stuck in his eyebrow hairs hiking his shorts up so max can mirror the placement on his own inner thigh. daniel resembling a concussed post malone, watching max’s careful application of the ‘3’ tattoo. max does a horrible aussie accent and daniel looks like a chimpanzee seeing its own reflection for the first time. cinema.

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S2E4: Out Where the Buses Don't Run

An ex-Vice cop with a strange and troubling affect chases down a purportedly deceased dealer.

Fuck, this is a good one. This is one of those episodes that reminds me why I consider the second season of Vice to be one of the all-time greatest seasons of television. It's in turns funny, disturbing, and heartbreaking, and provides another window into the ways the corruption and ineffectiveness of the justice system chews up and destroys people on both sides of the law.

The episode opens with some very fancy roller skating set to The Who's Baba O'Reilly; Manuel, the skating drug dealer, is played the recently departed Scott "Slo-Mo" Randolph, who was not an actor but, in fact, a skater, and one of the founders of the Central Park Skate Circle

Rico is 100% checking Manuel out

Manuel's customers have.... Outfits

When Hank, the ex-Vice cop who Rico describes with the episode's title, shows up to demonstrate his surveillance of Sonny and Rico, the entire Vice squad is like "who the fuck is this guy," except Rico, who takes one of the surveillance photos and tells his partner, "Heyyyy, Crockett, this is a good one of you!"

Rico sometimes you are a downright unserious man

To that end, he doesn't really see Hank's behavior as particularly dangerous, just "weird;" when Sonny suggests that Hank is a "nutcase," Rico's retort is, "yeah, maybe he even keeps a pet alligator at his place of residence." Sonny, who senses that something is deeply amiss, does not find this crack funny.

This is another "what is a partner and what do they mean to you" episodes, although more subtly so until the real thematic gut-punch at the ending. However, when Sonny and Rico are trying to get background information on Hank, their exchange is simply: "If *I* flipped out one day... Who's the first person you'd talk to?" / "...me."

Hank's behavior is borderline cartoonish-- he's a Marx Brother in a Hawaiian shirt. The first time you watch the episode, your first reaction may be bafflement, a sense that this episode is tonally "off" from the rest of the series, and too silly overall, until you get to the big reveal. You may find yourself agreeing with Rico and thinking that Sonny is overreacting in his caution regarding Hank. However, watching the episode a second time through, Hank's behavior becomes downright sad, and it becomes clear that Sonny instinctively knows this from the get go.

Rico comes to visit Sonny and confirms that they shared the same dreams the previous night, a lovely little tally in the favor of Vice being magical realism at its core. Sonny mentions the colors in his dreams, to Rico's surprise-- he dreams in black and white. This both reflects Rico's old-fashioned, Rat-Pack-esque sensibilities, and serves as a metaphor for another magical realist aspect of the episode-- Sonny has hunches and premonitions throughout (directly described as "ESP") that Rico does not share.

Some Wonderful Sonny Moments: he has no idea how a computer functions ("you can do that with a computer??") and waters Elvis like a plant in this episode

Fucking clam juice

It's hard to get stills of the chalk drawings in Hank's... hovel(?), but I felt it was worth trying:

I wish they were a bit easier to parse, but some of the readable text says, over a triptych of what looks like doors, a man opening a door, and a man exploding is, respectively, "Take your pick--," "And the winner is--," "Not you, Buddy!" There is also a knife fight, someone in a beach chair, a liquor bottle labeled XXX, someone shooting from a boat labeled rat-a-tat, a diner, a saxophonist, and a large number of other things I simply cannot read because the camera is focused on the figures instead of the backdrop.

Either way, I think this particular shot:

Is the turning point where this goes from a "sort of silly" episode to "uh-oh."

Then there is a moment about halfway through the episode where Hank-- who is at best so traumatized he has had a break from reality and at worst actively delusional-- and Sonny, and Rico, who are being set up as possible inheritors of not only his madness but of the-soon-to-be-revealed fierce and self-destructive loyalty to one's partner that might cause you to do something like cover up a murder and bury a body for someone-- are all seated the same way, on furniture that isn't for sitting. Hank and Sonny sit on a pair of desks, and Rico sits perched atop a bookshelf like a he's half-detective, half-vulture. Castillo, who has a fairly rigid internal moral code, is standing with his feet firmly planted on the ground. He is unwilling to step foot into Hank's world in the same way that Sonny and Rico are. In contrast, Hank, Sonny, and Rico are all disconnected and ungrounded, in uncommon and potentially uncomfortable places, waiting for someone else to make a decision.

When another of Sonny's "premonitions" comes true, Hank says "you guys are starting to sound crazy." Okay Hank. Just you wait until the raw meat and wheat flour facial episode in S3.

Sonny is just fucking CHAIN SMOKING in this one. Seems like he might be a little stressed or something.

When the stakeout and arrest that Hank sets up (a scene that is bright and clean and crisp and immaculately shot, and yet utterly haunting and oppressive) goes right-- the dealers really are exactly where and when he expects them to be-- there's a moment of, "oh. Okay, Hank may be crazy, but he was right. That's what this episode is about-- the stresses and rigors of the job made him crazy, but he hasn't lost his instincts as a cop, and is still on the side of right." And then it dawns on you that there's still ten full minutes left in the episode, right around the time Hank starts completely flipping out because Arcaro isn't there. The audience is made party, in a way, to Sonny's so-called ESP-- it's crystal clear nothing good is going to happen from here on in, because we've watched enough Vice by this point that we know we're not getting a happy ending at the 3/4ths mark of an episode.

A related thought-- the front half of this episode is not particularly creatively or beautifully shot, but the back half is almost painfully so. This, too, feels like a purposeful use and subversion of the Vice formula-- we're almost lulled into the sense that this is going to be a bad/boring/standard police procedural episode by the seemingly workmanlike camera choices, and then suddenly reality is heightened and saturated and almost too much, and it's clear we're in for something outside of the ordinary.

There's an extended sequence of Rico and Sonny night driving that comes just before the final reveal that is achingly painful when you know what is about to happen. The song that plays over the sequence is Dire Straits' Brothers in Arms, and it is played nearly in its entirety. It's worth going and looking up the full lyrics on this one, because while it was written about the Falkland Islands, it's disturbing in its aptness both for the way a wartime mentality so often also infects cops, and its discussion of the bonds between those who've undergone trauma together.

It's a bit hard to see because it's a very long shot, but I think that a black cat and an orange cat saunter up to greet them Rico and Sonny as they walk up to the abandoned building Hank asked to rendezvous at. I have no idea if these cats were actors or actual strays, but there's something very lovely about the moment either way. Are these cats also partners?

ha ha ha ha you would also bury someone behind a wall for your partner sonny ha ha ha ha you're no different from these men uh oh oh no

[crossover-enthusiast]

EXPLAIN YOUR CULT IDEAS AS MUCH AS YOU'D LIKE MY DEAR FRIEND

-📺 (ceaarl/gang-with-hatz)

YAYYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH @gang-with-hatz

(under cut bc. This got really long)

Okay so I already made a post about my ex-cultist Mr. Wonder theory so I won't go into that here, HOWEVER-

I'm going to ramble about this specifically because guys. Guys you're missing the prime angst with John's wife guys-

First I'm gonna get Actor out of the way tho

This one is mostly on vibes + clothes, plus him being the only character in SM 1 to not have any sort of major significance as of yet. Also him being a movie star goes with a lot of the cult having jobs/occupations related to things kids like, if Actor's in the cult his movies are prolly meant to target the older teens/adults instead

Also his eyes do the funny when he gets spooked by Ooga Booga in the first episode

Like genuinely Why Is He Built Like That

OKAY NOW ONTO JOHN'S WIFE

John and Lila have a lot of parallels: traumatized widows with a single child. Hope is dead, and John blames himself. Skid has frequently brushed with death in part due to Lila's irresponsibility. They both have a friend who's dumb and reckless but ultimately cares about them

So logically, this would mean that Lila's husband and John's wife would also have parallels, and if Skiddad's part of the cult, then...

I will absolutely admit this was just a silly crack theory/AU-- until I saw her photo from the ARG. It's just incredibly striking to me that the first photo we see of John's wife, the first acknowledgement of her period, has her with her eyes out of frame, not visible, just like Skid's dad. Her clothes, too, a cyan jacket with a dark green shirt and gold hairbands. It just screams cult to me

I'm not saying she was like, the cult's co-leader or anything, but I think she's involved, somehow. Imagine the absolute crushing irony there too, that John has spent so long trying to find out and stop the people that have taken his daughter, his home, his life away from him, only to find that his beloved wife was one of them. That'd just be soul crushing.

Also while I'm yapping I want to briefly touch upon Rick and Frank since I included them here too

I don't think Frank's in the cult. His literal entire thing basically goes against the cult since he actually gives the kids back... eventually. HOWEVER, I've been really warming up to the "undead Frank" theory, particularly the idea that the cult revived him ala Frankenstein's Monster to use him for their own purposes, but Frank still had his own mind (either metaphorically or literally) and fucked off because he didn't want any part of it (I would also like to thank @nonbinaryshotgunman for giving me that idea)

TLDR: he knows the cult exists, but doesn't know the members or what they want

Now for Rick... genuinely there's two ways I see it: either the comedic route where he joins the cult in the last episode as a "job", or the more serious/character focused route where he's a former cultist, and his depression and apathy stem from his time in it

I've just been thinking about it and like. He's worked for Evermore. He's worked at the Candy Club, which we now know is owned by the Candy Dealer. He's worked at the mall, which is a hotspot to sell Happy Fellas, which may or may not be connected to the cult. The only job Rick's had in the show itself so far that is 100% not connected to the cult is when he worked at the theater, and Radford more than likely helped get him hired

Somehow someway Rick keeps getting jobs that are in some way connected to the cult. I feel like it has to mean something. Plus again, main associated color is red, cult colors. Something I also find super interesting is that his toy counterpart in the SM 4 credits has gold rims on his shirt, which aren't actually there in his normal/casual outfit, implying his original design had them at one point but this got changed sometime before the TT merch ad

Okay I'm done yapping (for now). Thank you again SO so much I LOVE just talking about theory shit

[animegoil-vnc]

Yingdu Episode 1 Reactions

Ah the animation is so beautiful already. While I am not looking forward to another S2 action-oriented season, it's true they really upped their action animation and it's crazy seeing it applied to a basketball scene like in S1.

Lol at LG's face when he's shooting the ball.

Omg I can't believe Vein appears already in the first minute. What a flashy old-fashioned gun, feels like a Western type thing.

LOL he has to whip off his cape, truly a diva, c'mon XD

Oh bb girl what did you think a chair was going to do in the face of a gun. Still, I commend your courage, more than I'd do in that situation.

NOT TIME TO GET SENTIMENTAL AT THE PHOTO LG

OMG NO NO NO SO CXS *DID* SaVE LG "like you once did for me" NOOOO

Omg we've really got the death scene already

WAIT IS THAT CXS WITH GOLD EYES? Is he coming from the future already? fuck, yes he is, so he chose to die *again* for LG (or... or wait if he's alive in the future, it must mean he failed to save LG the first time and came back to make sure he could - so he DID go back to save LG once!!!)

OMG THE POWER TRASNFER, shown visually by the ball metaphor NOOOOO T_______T

Oh shit I didn't realize LG got shot too.

Have we not seen that image before? Of the birds in the sunset?

Oh damn, so the shakespeare sonnet book that LX has been holding this whole time is *Lu Guang's*???

and he stored that photo in there? Hmmm guess we'll find out if that's in preparation (aka this isn't the first round) or it was just a sentimental thing.

Wow LG realized very quickly that he now has CXS's power.

OMG HAHAHAHHAAHHAA GOT HIT IN THE FACE Sorry that shouldn't have been so funny, great way to change the mood quickly

YES TOUCH HANDS ALREADY MEANINGFULLY LIKE YOU'RE IN A FIC T_T

Huh, I thought they met in high school??? They're in Uni here already? Is this a translation error or school system difference? Their ages and school levels have never lined up :/

Omg so cute - CXS smiling at LG's text (even though it was just a freaking OK emoji smh) as a cute song plays.

Hmmm LG's eyes aren't gold anymore, is that just because it'd be annoying to show them as gold then entire time and it'd interfere with future time travel indicators?

Coser presumably is cosplayer? Crunchyroll fix your subtitles

CXS's teasing voice towards Lu Guang is THE BEST <3 <3 <3

UM WHAT

LU GUANG IS THE COSPLAYER????

LU GUANG LIKES ANIME???

CXS SAID LG IS A BEAUTIFUL BOY??

DID LG GET INTO THE CLUB FOR PLOT PURPOSES? omg he so did

Aaaaw so the guanguang nickname didn't come from CXS :(

Lu Guang in the outfit <3 <3 <3 <3

Qiao Ling also looks so cute in her outfit and trying to beat CXS

DEFENDER OF JUSTICE QL!!!

Lol at how freaked out she looks about the mixup

Am I the only one who thinks the "heroine" looks like WWX from MDZS?

Seriously LG, you're like "this time travel series is something I could related to" ? Little loose lipped there, hm?

Aw, CXS saying silly stuff but thinking about his parents in his mind :(

LG you're too foreshadowy already

Huh...? Divination? Hmmmm.........

YES, TOUCH HIS MOUTH lololol

Feels hard to switch gears and focus on someone else when the tension is so high of what's going on with our boys, but it's nice to see the tone changing a bit more to what we liked of S1.

Q-QL... did you really just... throw that book?

Oh wow, so that's how they started the idea of "looking for lost things as a side gig" and the "ritual"/magic that QL thought they did for it? Though if she was present the first time LG did divination, I'm surprised she didn't ask to be involved later.

I really love how off-hands CXS has always been with LG. For someone who can be so good at pestering, he really lets LG have his space and doesn't push with personal things.

Surprised LG admitted he'd made that up? He's acting super suspicious in some ways.

Mmm yes, CXS, definitely can't leave him alone <3

Ah this is so fun to see how LG coming into the studio and becoming partners happened and the side gig <3

First Bridon mention!

Ah this sounds super sus.

Lol QL thought so too.

omg this is the funniest way for LG's powers to be coming up

So guess you can have multiple powers at once if he can be traveling back in time and using his photo-reading

Lol at CXS vibrating with impatience

I literally yelled "CAN YOU LOOK AT THE--" and then they crashed

OH NO CXS, this is the start of your sentimentalism and fake acting??

LG I can't believe you would keep doing this business with CXS after he's already defied your rules and acted impulsively from the beginning and then KEPT going?

Oh noooo this keeps getting sus, CXS where the heck are you going? And has she not noticed the earbud he has?

Damn we're already in a hostage situation.

Man, they're already playing Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi's relationship and CXS already freaked out at them threatening LG <3

Welp, first episode, first female side character death

Huh, LG is really honest with CXS, and without much prompting. Is this his natural state of being, or is this selective honesty for the sake of his plan?

HMMM?? CXS said LG's eyes reminded him of his parents? ELABORATE

OMG LU GUANG OFFERED TO STAY - HE OFFERED!!!!

Apologies? Oh no... LG totally knows what CXS is referring to with this parents... that's the apology isn't it?

HAND CLAP ABOUT TO HAPPEN??

Lol partners for life, wow CXS your mind went straight to marriage? Lol at LG correcting that immediately

AAAW CXS LOOK SO HAPPY TO HAVE A PARTNER <3 <3 <3 <3

Well that was a lot of fun! Good balance of sentimental and action and foreshadowing - some things didn't quite make sense yet but I'm sure they will, and the pacing is a lot better than S2 so far - let's hope it stays that way!

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #12

This week we're taking a slight detour from the main chapters of PKNA to read the very first PKNA Special Issue: Missing! (Which came out in 1997 alongside the release of Silicon). This chapter is basically the equivalent of an anime OVA where we get to see the various characters just kinda hangin out and doin stuff outside the main plot, which I think is fun!!

Oh boy haha can't wait to see which of the colorful cast of characters we'll be focusing on fi-

OH NO

No cause like she fuckin got his ass here. I think if PKNA took place in 2024 then Angus Fangus would have a verified account on twitter and every time he posts about PK there would be people in his replies like "oh rent must be due" just roasting the shit out of him. And they would be right too.

Bro AI generated a photo of PK stealing ice cream from a child 😭

Woah dude that's crazy. Could you imagine like, an evil toy manufacturer? Like some sort of toy-based villain. Maybe one that hates video games and dresses like a clo-

DID HE JUST KILL HIMSE

oh nvm there was a balcony. dammit

THEY WHITEWASHED ZIGGY?!??!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO

See I TOLD you it was the anime OVA, they're at the beach and everything! Just look at that FANSERVICE!

I'm talking about Camera 9 in his little beach outfit btw. What did you think I meant? Lyla? What does this have to do with Lyla

So PK is missing and her first instinct is to go and check the jail 💀 I mean I can't say that he WOULDN'T get arrested by the time police I just think it's really funny

Screaming wait I love overly-confident Lyla

he's died

So Camera 9 won't talk to her and she PULLS A FUCKING GUN ON HIM. Cop moment.

...wait wasn't Camera 9 wearing shorts earlier? Where did his shorts go???

UNOOOOOOO HI UNO

"biological associate" is a really fancy way of saying your boyfrie

No cause like I'm obsessed with the resolution to this story. Dude kept his grudge for 250 years, get fucking owned Raider.

Bro shows up for two whole panels just so he can manspread and make a cheeky time reference. I'm exploding him with my mind.

AAAAAH EW OLD MAN JUMPSCARE shoutout to the picture of HDL though

WOW how lucky for Xadhoom to have found an entire thriving colony of her people!!! So happy for her :)

Also PK is there too for some reason

SHE'S SO HAPPY IT'S MAKING ME DEPRESSED

Yeahhhh they really didn't think this one through did they

WAIT THE NEPHEWS ARE HERE?? WHEN DID THEY GET BACK FROM AFRICA

WH- YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS COMIC YET??

You gotta love them dedicating a story to two random Evronian goons and then having it end with both of them just being murdered by Xadhoom. Like they never EXPLICITLY say that Xadhoom is killing the Evronians when she fights them but we all know that's what she's doing right.

Gotta love Donald vanishing off the face of the Earth so he could fuck off to Tibet with Everett Ducklair 💀 Levitating would be a useful skill to have if he didn't like immediately forget how to do it after this oops

Anyways that's all for today. I really like the PKNA special issues they're all really fun and silly and nothing bad happens in them ever!! So look forward to reading the next one in uuuh idk like 10 more issues or something?

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam reacts to: Roasting our own Red Carpet Fashion

I am a dannie through and through but my god Phil took me OUT in this video.

- They keep chucking random videos at us, it is so funny how we keep hoping and predicting certain videos and then we get the most random ones instead.

- THEY LOOK SO GOOD I WANT TO SOB

- I have nothing to say because they look so fucking hot it literally takes me out. I genuinely can not focus on what they are saying because Phil has destroyed my lesbian brain somehow by looking hot af. (Slight sexuality crisis I won't even lie)

- They are so right the teen award outfits suck ass, it just, it is the one outfit we all lowkey make fun of and I am glad they agree.

- THE RED SHIRT WITH THE TOP BUTTON UNDONE LOOKS SO GOOD ON PHIL IT DRIVES ME INSANE

- "I feel like it's one of my favourite things you own" Somehow this pales in comparison to the next 20 minutes of just them complimenting each other but Phil is so right.

- Guys I had to pause the video because I can't focus on what the fuck they are saying because Phil looks so hot who am I.

- Dan being aware of which photos Phil hates is kind of cute, like they are so attuned to each other confidence and journey it is amazing.

- The way they just compliment each other so much makes me happy, like it's just "you look good in this" "you look lovely" all the time.

- The blue shirt with the hearts Phil wore does not do anything for him, I am sorry 2015 BRITs.

- "Whenever Dan wears color I'm like 'aw you look nice today'" OKAY PHIL THANKS

- The barbed wire suit jacket was a slay but the white shoes were awful I can't believe this looked got ranked as high as it did.

- Their Teen Award win was amazing and the looks are just THEM, I know it's not the most red carpet but it feels so authentic you know.

- They have special memories at the Boncas, from the way they talk about this they have some very deep personal connection to that particular one that they aren't sharing and I am intrigued.

- Dan at the Star Wars premier is SO GOOD I AM SCREAMING. This is for sure my favourite fit of the entire video, like the theming is on point and he slays.

- Don't love the Last Jedi slander tho, because that movie means a lot to me and I will defend it forever.

No thoughts actually just Phil looking hot, bye

[anonil88]

EPISODE 2, SEASON 2: IWTV live blog 🩸

Am I the only one cringing seeing Louis and Armond try so hard?

The vampire theater being gritty dirty vaudevillean is fitting and I would like all Santiago' outfits especially.

I love Claudia soaking in the spectacle of the opening speech.

Oh Santiago despises the humans and them not believing in vampires existence. The plays were cruel showing vampires true deep dark nature; self serving, haunted by their own demises to the gift, a flair for the dramatic, etc. So they toy with the humans by telling them the truth, these vampires do not even need to glimmer/mind control their audience. Funny and sad that humans and vampires share these same cruel sensibilities.

I love that, "we are conscious death".

They devoured her with an audience and made it into cruel art. Louis is disturbed but it's no different than him taking photos of Armand' next kills. Which someone pointed out they are just doing what Lestat proposed to Louis.

This is definitely a theatre troupe.

Y'all, Louis and Claudia, are so damn obvious.

LMFAO HE SAID THIS IS A FUCKING SOAP OPERA. Now I need someone to edit a young and the restless or telenovela intro with the cast of IWTV.

GOD DAMMIT CLAUDIA YOU THOUGHT OF IT.

Santiago and Armand are old as hell like old old, but she thinks she got one over then.

Ohhhh so these people know somewhat what Lestat is.

Ha hahaha not a letter.

Why have I not noticed these new nails until now.

Oof straight hair Lestat, I guess a callback to the movie.

I am weaker than Louis (not excusing any abuse) I would be out in a field calling out to that man like PLEASE FIND ME.

I hate that they fucked with his mind, Louis you are so so cruel. I love a mean vampire but Louis' humanity/love for it has made him much worse than any other.

This would be fun to be a part of like a traveling circus and troupe can be but also exhausting. At some point though it would get annoying like needing a vacation from a forever performance. Eventually a spinning top would get sick

Every vampire; "why the hell would you turn a child ?"

Stupid stupid Louis. Stupid stupid vampire child.

Thoughts:

I get what people were saying about missing the plucky ball and chain comedic timing of season 1. Somehow even though we are only 2 episodes in I somehow miss Lestat. He is the arterie and everyone else in comparison feels like skinny small veins. I enjoyed Santiago entirely but, I do have some issues with how the theater performance was cutting between audience and this intense moment. Sinead did a fantastic job in that scene. The theater group contrasts the ugly and the beautiful sides of being a vampire in a bold way. I know they were filming some of this during the strike and stricter pandemic rules but there is something I'm missing from the background of this episode.

[eulchu]

I wanna backtrack and say I’ve been having cuteness aggression over the fact that Dream and George both thought packing a little bag and passport for their plushies and taking a photo shoot in the airport was funny and cute I’m going to scream so loud they are so happy and carefree and in love and they would love to pack a little suitcase for their baby with all the little outfits and toys and no one touch me I’m going to explode

thyer'e the cutest people on the entire fucking planet dream's plushie has a dog sweater with a cute little mask and an amongus keychain and plushie george's mini visa makes me wanna scream THEIR SUITCASES ARE MATCHING TOO

[huesofblackandblue]

Nothing is quite as humbling as seeing candid photos of yourself.

I had a job interview today and for the first time in 3 1/2 years I dressed up nice and put on makeup. I currently work in a warehouse so I never bother since I’m always getting dirty and sweaty. I had to buy a new outfit since I’ve gained more weight, but looking at myself in a mirror, I felt kind of pretty. I definitely wasn’t a 10/10, but the more I looked at myself, the more I liked how I looked.

I had the interview and it went alright, and then I stopped by to see my mother. I didn’t realize she took a picture of me while we were talking, and after I left, one of my sisters sent me the photo and said mom just sent me this to show me your outfit.

My heart dropped. I looked awful. My second chin was 2x bigger than my actual chin, I had no fucking neck, my stomach was huge and disgusting, my feet were bulging out of my flats, my cardigan looked like it was 2 sizes too small, my makeup looked cakey, my hair was flat and dull, the face I was making looked stupid….it completely ruined my entire day.

I pulled over into a random parking lot and just started crying. A heavy, hyperventilating, ugly cry. I pulled down the mirror on my sun visor, looked at myself again and cried even harder. All I could think was “you’re a hideous, disgusting monster.”

I wanted to drive full speed into the nearest tree. Instead, I drove to Sonny’s bbq and spent money that was supposed to go toward my car payment and ordered the first thing I saw on the menu, chain smoked on the way home, and then ate my feelings until I felt sick. Then I hid the evidence of my binge, waddled my way upstairs, took off my makeup, and cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up, I called my best friend and told her about my day, and she did her best to try and make me feel better, saying things like phone cameras always make people look bad, and that she’s sure I looked hot. I just agreed and moved on, because it’s not the camera. It’s me. I’m just fat and ugly. I know I’m an okay person. I’m funny, and I’m a good friend, but I’m just not pretty.

And I never will be.

And I have to learn to be okay with that.