#but this past year he's found friends his age who have invited him into discussions about a one-state reality

[deadpanwalking]

Asking this as a second gen Russian American Jewish person, how did you get your family to rethink their Zionism? I'm fighting for my life

Didn't have to lift a finger. My old man was a refusenik, but chose not to move us to a country that was supposedly a haven for Jews but still had compulsory military service—he was disgusted with the Communist regime chiefly because of the nationalism, and that's at the core of conscription, even in times of peace. I think he gave up whatever sentimental attachment he still had to ~Hatikvah back when the extremists killed Rabin in '95.

[emptywwwriting]

Morning Patrol

Paring: Jackson!Joel Miller x Fem! reader

Summary: It's your first patrol shift since you joined Jackson. When your friend, Jesse, calls out sick you have to go on the patrol alone with Joel Miller.

Warnings: Horrible Writing, HUGE age gap (33 years LOL), reader smokes cigs,  reader is also lowkey a horse girl (shut up), smut will be added, edited this @ 3am sry for mistakes lol, no use of y/n

A03 Link: Morning Patrol

Word Count: 3.8k omg...

First writing ever. I'm sorry if it sucks LOL. I wrote this because I’ve been replaying TLOU2 and it re-awoken my love for these characters.

Idk if I will make this a story or not, it depends on the feedback I get. Correct my grammar/spelling if you see anything wrong, feedback is much appreciated. Also, this is a no-Ellie AU not for any reason, in particular, I just didn’t know how to combine her storyline into this. Please read the warnings!!

It's freezing this time of year, cold frosted winds that are carried by the slopes of the mountains swirl the small town of Jackson, freezing everything over. Even the small wooden stove that usually warms your bones isn't cutting it. Yet you have to stop your eyes from fluttering close while you sit next to the open flame. With only your undergarments to cover you, you're balled up as small as possible sitting on the floor next to the heat. Your alarm had gone off 15 minutes ago, but you’d been procrastinating since. It’s your first patrol shift ever since Jackson took you in nearly 4 months ago. This idea was suggested, rather drunkenly, by Tommy at a bonfire just last week.

…

“It’s about time you start pulling your weight here,” Tommy mumbled with a beer resting on his lips, tilting his head towards you.

Your head snapped up to meet his gaze angrily.

Jesse had arranged a get-together by a bonfire following a town event, inviting Tommy, Joel, Dina, and a few other lookout guards. The hangout was calm, warm, and cozy, with everyone sitting around enjoying their drinks, sharing funny stories, and discussing unusual experiences. As a fairly new member of the town, you were unfamiliar with most of the people there. Jesse, who had played a key role in bringing you into Jackson, made sure to introduce you to Dina, with whom you had formed a close bond. She introduced you to the wonderful team of people who manage all of the horses that Jackson uses. Having grown up around animals, and having extensive knowledge of them, you felt right at home. 

However, not everyone was as friendly. Tommy, in particular, seemed to have a strong dislike for you. Ever since the night shift had found you, he had been suspicious of your presence in the town. Tommy constantly questioned you about your past, making you feel like a criminal rather than a newcomer just trying to fit in. While you understood the need for caution in a town as advanced as Jackson, Tommy's suspicions seemed to linger longer than necessary, this pissed you off. Despite your efforts to become a part of the community and form relationships with Jackson’s people, his distrust towards you made it difficult. You couldn't help but feel like an outsider, even when you are trying to enjoy a casual gathering. 

Jesse let out a cough next to you in an attempt to break the tension. Tommy’s brother, sitting next to him, didn't look away from his bottle, staring awkwardly into the brown glass. Jesse adjusted himself upright in his chair and began.

“I mean you can always come with us on a morning patrol shift… if you feel like it of course,” he added quickly, before staring into his own beer bottle.

You hummed in response. 

Still mad at Tommy, you shoot him another hidden glare before finishing your drink quickly.

“I think it would be a good start for you, hell of an early shift but usually a quiet one.” He looks over at you. “Just me and Joel now, another person couldn't hurt.” Jesse finishes.

Tommy's brother, Joel, grunts from across the fire agreeing.

You stare into the open flame thinking about his words.

“You up for it?” Jesse prods.

“Yeah, I'll do it.” You reply.

Tommy lets out a huff but you choose to ignore it. 

Still basking in the awkwardness from Tommy's comment, Dina and Jesse yawn and start collecting their stuff murmuring their goodbyes to the rest of the group surrounding the fire. Tommy and Joel stomp out the flames before falling into quiet conversation, as you follow Dina and Jesse towards the housing strip.

…

You finally force yourself to get up, the cold air wraps around your body as the stove's heat leaves your skin, you quickly get dressed. Sliding your thickest sweatshirt over your head and thick pants onto your legs. Stepping into your boots, you grab a beanie, gloves, and your backpack, making sure that your revolver is with you. After extinguishing the stove's flame, you exit your house and start down the quiet road.

You thought that things were quiet at night, they are even more quiet at four in the morning. Not a soul is awake at this hour, you've never seen the streets of Jackson so still. None of the town's Edison bulbs were on, only the occasional lamp that came from a house's window illuminated your path. Your mind wanders to the patrol, and you recall how just yesterday Jesse called out sick. A horrible stomach flu had torn its way through Jackson, particularly the school kids and teachers. Jesse got it after participating in a snowball fight with the school children, and Dina was now stuck taking care of him.  You had been sick with it nearly a week ago, the aftereffects still haunting your body. Your stomach gurgled with hunger, feeling as if it had sunk in. Chills racked your body at night, but you had no fever and could keep food down, sometimes. You didn't want to leave Joel to do the patrol alone, even though you know he could.

You have never talked with Joel before, just knew of him. His gruffness made itself apparent when he entered a room. He is a very respected man in the small town and it makes you feel like you know him to an extent. You have to admit that his large size and powerful aura make you slightly scared of him, yet it intrigues you even more. You often catch yourself staring at his aged and calloused hands gripping a beer bottle, or while cleaning his gun, and would have to force yourself to look away; But for such a strong and large man he was so quiet. It made you nervous to go on patrol with him. It's not that you dread the patrol itself, nor does it mean you don't want to be alone with him, but you dread the awkwardness of it.

You are both very quiet people, it's bound to get awkward. With someone chatty like Dina, you could rely on her for conversation for hours, and there would never be a dull moment. But with Joel? Who knows.

Finally, you arrive at the greenhouses which are next to the exit of Jackson. In the moonlit shadows, you see Joel, hand near his mouth, a lit cigarette between his fingers. The tip of the cigarette glowing red illuminating his face in an auburn glow. The sight makes your stomach flip, or maybe it's the virus. He catches your eye as you approach, now a few feet from him.

“Mornin.” He mumbles, voice groggy with sleep.

“Morning” You offer back sounding weak.

His peppered beard nearly sparkles in the dim light, his nose sculpting his face beautifully. Towering over you even at a distance.

Fuck he’s hot.

“We should head out a little early today so I have time to show you all our check-in spots,” He says after another puff.

“Sounds good to me!” You say eagerly, slightly embarrassed at your peppiness. 

He tosses the cigarette into the snow, before stepping on it with his boot, turning away from you and towards the gate. You're suddenly very thankful for Jesse's illness, given now you get to be alone with possibly the hottest man you have ever seen. 

Fumbling for the key he unlocks the gate, before having to open a set of precautionary doors, that you remember entering just a few months ago after night patrol found you nearly dead.

“Watch your step.” Joel throws back at you as you exit the final gate and start up a path of icy rocks.

“Got it.” You retort.

Looking up you can see the moonlit glow of the frozen rocks, a long path up into the cover of the forest. It's eerie, too quiet, and too steep. You would not know what to do without Joel here. Even though his presence puts your mind at ease, it's still terrifying while dark. You had almost forgotten what it's like to not be in Jackson. A whole year of struggling to survive on your own forgotten in a handful of months.

I’m spoiled. You think.

You know Jackson has spoiled you but it's not like you don't deserve it.

 The thoughts of your life before, outside the walls of Jackson, creep into your mind and you become nauseous.

“How long will we be out here?” You ask, trying to get your mind back to Joel.

“Well-” He sighs. “Depends on how many stragglers we have to get through. If the weather holds up and there's nothing out of the blue, the whole watch will be about 8 hours.” 

“Eight hours?” You repeat shocked.

“Yep, a whopping eight hours.” He says sarcastically. “Forget how you outbreak, kids never worked a normal job.” He chuckles to himself.

“I was born as soon as the outbreak started, I think that's hard enough.” You say smiling. He huffs.

“I’d take eight-hour shifts over an infection any day.” You smile.

“Yeah me too.” He replies.

It's quiet again and the awkward tension seeps back in making you more uneasy. The sound of his boots crunching the snow under him fills the air, and you're now closer to the woods. You follow Joel a few feet back, studying his frame while he can't see you. 

Why can’t you think of anything to say and why is he so quiet? You pray for Joel to say something, anything, and when he doesn't, you force yourself to talk.

“Do you like your shifts with Jesse?” 

“Jesse's good, a little woman crazy but he's fine. At least he's a good shot.” He lets out a huff.

“Yep, that sounds like Jesse.” you smile to yourself.

The conversation goes silent again and you begin to wonder if it's just this awkward in your head. The path evens out as you enter the brush, and Joel turns his flashlight on, illuminating the now even darker path. As the forest thickens the moon becomes less and less of a help, your eyes strain, trying to make out the terrain. 

Crunch Crunch Crunch

Focusing on the sounds of snow and wind you space out, now trying to ignore the awkwardness between you.

“How old did you say you were?” 

you didn't 

Joel asks awkwardly.

“Twenty-five.” You reply, 

“Jesus.” He says under his breath.

“How old did you say you were?” You ask playfully.

He laughs, seemingly embarrassed.

“Too old.” He says shortly.

You laugh and begin walking closer behind him. When finally in the complete cover of the woods Joel climbs up onto a large rock, one nearly bigger than you. After getting himself up right, he reaches a hand down to you. He looks majestic like this, so tall above you looking down with a rough and large hand extended. Even his thick wool coat can't fully conceal how large his biceps and chest are. You want to take a picture of him. 

Him saying your name, snaps you back into reality, grabbing his hand quickly, he hoists you up onto the rock. His powerful tug launches you faster than you expected. Your foot lands on a chunk of ice and you slip slightly before he holds you up with the hand he was holding. Dangling from his strong  grip you quickly try to find some kind of footing grunting in pain.

His other hand comes down to the collar of your clothing grabbing it and pulling you up. You reach for his arms for stability and take a breath before opening your eyes to look up at him. You're a mess, knees weak, one arm on his bicep the other on his flexed forearm staring up at him like a hurt puppy. You snap your head back down and release him, brushing yourself off. He slowly lets go of your jacket collar and hand before huffing out a chuckle

“Told you to be careful.” He beams down at you.

Your face is so red it's warming you in contrast to the freezing night air.

“Not my fault you flung me over the rock.” You laugh lightly looking down to hide your face. Not only were you red but you are trying to hide the grimaces you are making from the shooting pain in your ankle.

“Whatever you say darlin'.” He laughs.

And, oh that made your stomach do actual flips. You freeze as he starts down the path again, you're trying to comprehend the nickname, and why it sounded so good coming from his lips.

Darlin’....

 Shaking your head you follow after him promptly. The wind picks up and your hair starts whipping onto your already red cheeks. It is cold, and the wind makes you feel even more miserable. Joel's hair, which had only grown since you joined Jackson, moved in the crisp breeze, he seemed to notice the wind picking up, and he started walking faster.

“I think we are getting caught in a storm.” He says defeatedly, pushing forward into the dark night. 

Your heart drops as you push to keep up with the older man who is somehow faster than you, your ankle screaming at you to stop.

“Let's turn back.” You suggest sighing, you pause for a moment to take the weight off of your foot. 

This earns a quick,

“No, too far back, we are closer to the first check-in.” His voice becomes more strained as the terrain gets more steep and the wind picks up. You quickly start following after him again, in a limp.

“How much further?” 

“Half a mile.” Joel quips.

“Focus on the trail. The wind is getting stronger, we have supplies at the check-in and can camp out there until day shift comes.” 

His strong legs take large strides up the mountain. You continue to follow, the wind nearly knocking you over at some points. The gusts of icy air start picking up fallen snow, blurring everything in a cloud of white dust. Your ankle only seems to be feeling worse as each twist and turn gets harder and harder to trek. In a panic, you grab Joel's backpack so as not to lose him. He yells something at you about the path you think, but you can't hear, the wind is screaming in your ears too loudly. Your ankle feels warm. Twigs and branches snap, each making you jump, you slip only slightly, catching yourself before continuing hot on Joel's trail. Your knuckles are white from the grip you have on his bag. Frozen in place. 

Finally, you see the outline of a shed, Snow, and ice slinging into the side of it from the wind. You see the back of Joel's head raise as he spots the structure before his pace picks up even more and you're practically being dragged. Noticing this he blindly reaches back, taking hold of your forearm and dragging you to the front of him, his warm chest pressed against your back. The wind slams into him, blocking it from you. He pushes you slowly, now noticing your limp. Step by step you make your way to the wooden shed. You hear him breathing ruggedly in your ear, your gasp and breaths fill the air along with his. Finally at the door moving you to the side yet not taking his hands off you he opens the door and shoves you inside. The sound of whirling wind, snow, and branches snapping disappears outside of the dark room, muffling the chaos nearly completely. 

Joel puts a large wood plank in the shed's lock and takes a deep breath before turning to you. He looks you up and down.

“You okay? You slipped a few times pretty good back there.” He sighs trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah, I think I'm good.” You breathe deeply and try to think. “I twisted my ankle a little though.” You sigh.

Throwing down your heavy bag you plop down on the dirt floor next to it. You definitely did something more than twist it because the pain is radiating up into your knee, making it hard to hide your discomfort. 

Inside the shed is small, there's enough room for you, Joel, and a small stove with a plastic crate filled with what looked like ammo and food and first aid, underneath it. Joel looks down at you and you meet his gaze. The feeling of his chest against your back lingers on your skin and in your thoughts. You push your thighs together and look away, hoping he can't read your mind. He kneels in front of you grabbing your ankle suddenly.

“Shit!” You hiss trying to pull your leg back up to your body.

He takes hold of your leg again, this time underneath your knee. You move around trying to find a comfortable position.

“Stop squirming, I need to look at your ankle.”

As he wishes you hold as still as possible as he pulls your pant leg up and begins to untie your boot. Gently he slides off the shoe and pulls your sock off halfway. Unveiling your ankle beat red and swollen. Joel cringes at the sight of it and gently puts your leg back on the ground. Reaching behind himself he grabs the plastic tote and opens it looking for what you assume to be painkillers.

“It's really not that bad, I'll be okay, just need to lay off it for a bit.” You sound defeated.

“We have pain killers in here, you can-” 

You cut him off “I'm okay, and I'm not wasting Jacksons supplies.”

He looks at you, at your ankle, and then slowly up your body. 

“You're not going to be able to walk back down with that.” He says.

You go to disagree with him but you stop yourself because you know he's right, there's no way in hell.

“Im sorry, I-” 

“Not your fault.” He cuts you off and places the small crate at your legs for you to prop your foot on.

“I know I just- I feel like the town already doesn't like me, hell I know Tommy doesn't. And I just don't want to be a problem.”

“Tommy’s a paranoid old man,” He begins. “I love my brother but his suspicions get the best of him sometimes, he loves Jackson, and wants to keep it safe, don't take it personal kid.” His eyes show you his sincerity, and you look down, still ashamed.

He looks up at you saying nothing sympathy written across his face. He groans as he gets up from his knees now looking down at you, examining.

“I hope day shift brings up a horse. We gon’ have to carry you if not.” 

You cringe at the thought of the issues you're causing but know he's right.

“As for this storm,” He walks around the room and cracks the door open slightly before having to slam his body on it to get the wind to stop pouring through. 

“Yeah-” He breathes heavily, locking the door back. “That's gonna hold up for a while.” He puts his fingers on the bridge of his knows like he's trying to figure out what to do.

Joel then spends the next twenty minutes doing something you may call nesting. As you watch, you can sense the anxiety pouring off him. He paces back and forth, seemingly unable to calm down. While he doesn't say anything, the worried look on his face speaks for him. It's as if he's trying to distract himself from the nervousness that looks to be consuming him. He checks and double-checks the locked door, and starts a fire in the small stove, he meticulously tends to it. The pacing continues, with Joel occasionally glancing at the door, as if expecting the weather to magically change.

At this point you're lying on the ground head on a Joel’s pack, just staring into the fire.

“Jesus sit down Joel.” You finally tell him, getting tired just from watching him.

He pauses his pacing and looks at you as if he didn’t know he was even doing it. Mumbling an apology, he walks over to you and sits against the wall a foot or two from your head. You two sit in silence for a while, listening to the fire crackle what sticks were left in there, while the wind whistles through the small shed.

“You got any more of those cigarettes you had earlier?” You ask shyly, like you are doing something bad. You meet his gaze craning your neck up while he looks down confused and surprised.

“Didn't know you smoke” He huffs, reaching into the backpack under your head, he grabs a small white beat-up box and pulls from it, a neatly home-rolled cigarette.

You hum, admiring his strong hands digging through the box.

“Don't tell on me.” You smile looking at him sheepishly. He rolls his eyes before sticking the cigarette in his mouth and bringing a match to the end of it, lighting it and inhaling deeply. Taking it from his mouth he brings the cigarette to your lips until you open them, sticking it between them. Your stomach does cartwheels as he focuses on your lips wrapped around the smoke. Inhaling deeply you lock eyes, staring back into his. He takes the cigarette in front you and lets it rest in his hand as you both exhale.

“How long until they come for us?” You sigh after gently taking the cigarette from Joel’s hand and sticking it in your mouth again.

“Day shift starts at 1:30, and it’s still dark out,” He takes the smoke from you and takes a drag before exhaling.

“So we still have a while sweetie.”

You hide the smile that forces its way to your face by adjusting your body so that your head is now closer to his thigh.

You both take turns puffing on the cigarette until it gets too short to hold, Joel tosses it into the stove, and wipes his hands on his pants. You however are plotting on how to get closer to him. Too shy to say anything, but too desperate to not be closer you casually scoot up more and place your head on his thigh before turning away from him, pretending to get comfy. He gets stiff at this and you get nervous.

shit was that too much?

Frozen in fear you listen and wait. Slowly he relaxes and you hear his head thump against the wall. You let a breath out you didn’t know you were holding, and begin to relax. It was nearly 15 minutes later when you started to hear a small grumble coming from the man under you, he was snoring. You smiled to yourself, proud that you had managed to lay on him and not weird him out, maybe he likes it as much as you do. When he wakes up you'll think about testing your luck again, for now though, you need to rest. Closing your eyes you drift to sleep on his thigh, thinking about his hands all over you.

Edit: Chapter 2 will be coming out soon, be on the look out!

[vividviverrid]

the reposing force of the great lakes;

---by kael knoxton martin, a (real) wip intro.

genre - science fiction, superhero fiction.

age range - adult.

status - working on first draft.

content warnings - child abuse, drug use (marijuana), discussions of homophobia and transphobia, unhealthy relationships, gore, suicidal ideation.

summary.

In the fictional city of Knife's Edge, Michigan, home to the headquarters of the Reposing Force of the Great Lakes, a superhero collective is tasked with protecting the Great Lakes region from any supernatural threats or metahumans misusing their powers. The Reposing Force is massive, and its heroes are treated like celebrities, as if they're above reproach. The Great Lakes Reposing Force is largely corrupt, preferring publicity and self-gain over the actual goal of helping citizens that the Force was founded with.

Metahuman Ivy White is on her way to a recruitment appointment, with the goal of becoming a member of the Reposing Force. She lives in her car, struggles with mental health issues, and generally views membership to the Force as a last resort attempt to improve her life. Ivy meets Kingsley Henneth and Rowan James during the interview; both of them have powers almost as unique as her own, and all three of them get embarrassingly rejected for having "useless and embarrassing powers". Kingsley and Rowan invite Ivy to stay with them after her car breaks down. At roughly the same time, the leader of the Reposing Force, Graham Case, is making a deal with the queen of the demonic dimension Xulthea to trap his best friend, Soren's wife in the main city for eternity so she is unable to expose proof of a gay adulterous affair to the public.

After finding out what Graham had done, Soren, secretly an extremely powerful metahuman himself, believes his wife to be suffering in Xulthea, so he kidnaps the entire Reposing Force and tricks the queen of Xulthea into giving him free passage between Earth and the parts of Xulthea that are so unpredictably nightmarish that no one lives there. Trapping the Force in what is essentially endless psychological torture, in a realm that naturally must use their deepest fears against them, Soren tells Graham that he and his friends will remain there until his wife is freed. Meanwhile, his wife, Jessica, is unexpectedly bonding with the queen of Xulthea, perfectly safe, watching her husband destroy the city they both once loved.

Also, it turns out Soren missed one member of the Reposing Force. Kira Ramos, the Force's second-in-command who was out of the country visiting family at the time of the kidnapping, returns to Knife's Edge a day later, and must pick up the pieces and retrieve her friends before any supervillain senses an opportunity and decides to wreak havoc in the city. She recruits Ivy and Ivy's new friends to save the Reposing Force, promising high ranking membership and immense fame if they can complete the task.

characters.

main.

ivy white, 26, she/her, cis + bi. superpower: super strength when a certain amount of thc is in her system.

rowan james, 26, he/him, gay trans man. superpower: think waterbending but with cheese.

kingsley henneth, 27, he/him, cis + bi. superpower: fashion and accessories manifestation.

winter westbloom, 26, she/her, unlabelled. superpower: can see into someone's past when touching an object they owned.

kira ramos, 28, she/her, nonbinary lesbian. superpower: fire manipulation.

zee the bee, ageless-adult, he/him, nonbinary male-aligned heterosexual. superpower: flight, due to being half-bee; can manifest anything from nightmares into reality.

minor.

xorna, around 4000 (or 40 in earth years), she/her, nonbinary lesbian. demon queen of the dimension xulthea.

jessica hollows, 34, she/her, cis bisexual. not a metahuman; soren's wife.

antagonists.

soren, 35, he/him, cis bisexual. superpower: can manifest anything from his daydreams into reality.

domino ferncutter, 32, she/her, cisgender bisexual. creates an ai called oculomancer that becomes sentient; she tries to use ivy as oculomancer's host body.

graham case, 55, he/him, cis gay man (closeted). superpower: invisibility, accelerated speed.

excerpt.

The picture fizzles out, fading slow back into a void-black screen, and she’s gone. The secondhand store employee’s words echo through her mind: fucking Reposing Force, I swear to God… But the gates open, swift and fast like a predator. Ivy looks up into the skies, watches the building as it goes up and up and up, boundless above her. She takes a deep, deep breath, and begins walking again. She’s always walking, always transporting herself between what is real and what is fantasy and what is dreaded. When she isn’t walking literally, her body exhausted from its nomadic nature, she’s walking metaphorically, through the graveyard of her past, her former self an angelic statue fixed above a headstone. Ivy is adept at pushing through obstacles of any kind. She moves forward whether the universe likes it or not. She enters the building, and her boots make a thudding sound on the teal tile beneath her. There’s a mural behind the front desk—scenery of Lake Michigan that is too vibrant, too dreamlike, to be real or accurate. The state of Michigan is never that serene. But regardless, she approaches the desk. It’s a different secretary; how many fucking employees does this place have? She asks for Ivy’s name with a monotone voice, thanks her for it in a monotone voice. Ivy cannot help it. Her mind wanders to situations, to possibilities unknown. Are these employees super=powered too, are they considered lower than the heroic division? If she gets this job, will she be doing boring secretary work for the rest of her life? If she manages to get this job, will she get the opportunity to disrespect others, just as they have done to her? Would she ever get the opportunity to do true good, or will they stick her at a desk for eternity? She wouldn’t be able to handle that.

taglist :

ask to be added/removed.

[redflagbreakfast]

Entry 7: Rich Dad 4903

Trigger warning: mentions of child protection services and custody issues

In the past 8 months, a lot has happened. Despite my reservations, I asked the magistrate to give Kalvin another chance. During the court hearing, the CPS worker suggested that he should only have supervised visitation with Jack. This made me worried about the implications it would have on Jack’s martial arts, as his dad is his coach. I also worried about his relationships with his brother, dog, and friends from the dojo. I felt guilty and made excuses for Kalvin’s behavior, but the thought of doing everything alone again along with everything else on my plate was terrifying.

There has to be a way to support a relationship between them, with at least giving me some time for my own sanity.

“I would like to propose a new plan, your honor.” I say. The CPS workers eyes widen as she looks at me with confusion.

Desperate for a solution, I proposed a new plan to the judge that would support a safe environment for Jack while reducing Kalvin’s stress levels. I wanted to maintain Jack’s relationship with his little brother and not affect his karate training. After some discussion, our new plan was put in place. I would have Jack 80% of the time and take him to school every day, as well as drive him to karate on my days. His brother would also be present during their time together. Kalvin enrolled in anger management again and signed a stipulation agreement to no corporal punishment…Not that Kalvin ever followed the rules.

By the end of the hearing, I felt more confident that I could support him while taking care of myself, as long as he wasn’t cutting weight for a fight, everything should be fine..Right? The only one the plan was more difficult for was me.

After two years of splitting parenting duties 50/50, my life suddenly became much more complicated. To make things even more challenging, the new parenting plan was put into effect the same month that I had launched my fourth company. Although the newest company was taking off, I found myself constantly distracted by other issues. I was dealing with the consequences of fraud against my wellness company, banking problems associated with being associated with the cannabis industry and a costly mistake in trying to bring on a new sleazy partner right before the pandemic.

And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I was hit with a crushing abandoned purchase order that cost me a staggering $90,000. I was scrambling to make payments to my debtors that funded the international order by a man who had evaporated into thin air. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty hopeless about my ability to recover from all of this. Despite my distrust for pretty much all men, and most people in general, I knew I needed to let go of control and ask for help. I needed a team, I needed investment.

Four days away from an investor summit in Miami, I received an exciting invitation. Alexandra from the Charleston group told me that my cannabis brand was amazing and that it would be a breath of fresh air to pitch something so unique in front of nearly 100 vetted investors. My products sat at the intersection of two rapidly growing markets, sexual wellness and cannabis. If my pitch didn’t turn heads in a room full of dusty, middle aged, wealthy, male investors, certainly nothing would.

She even offered to let me pitch for free if I brought swag bags with samples for 120 people. Ecstatic about this opportunity, I scraped together my money and bought a ticket to Florida, even though it was the second trip I would need to take that weekend. California and Florida in the same day. The thought made my head spin. As challenging as these endeavors were, I was determined not to miss out on this opportunity.

Jack was competing towards his first official world title, and I was competing to win the attention of millionaires and billionaires. As important as this opportunity was, there is no way I could cancel my trip to prepare, I had to watch Jack shine and support him. I had to make both happen.

Especially with the wedge Kalvin had begun to drive between Jack and I. “He doesn’t need therapy!” Kalvin would insist, “He needs a mom who cares about him and doesn’t party!” His words made me boil with anger. Other than my brief 3 day Playa trip, I practically hadn’t even been out since May. I had given up every single self-serving thing in my life for Jack and for my companies over the last several months. I hadn’t even gotten my nails done since August. I gave up everything to make Jack feel loved, but now Kalvin had convinced him otherwise.

My baby boy, the one I would do anything for, was convinced that I was trying to ruin his life by “taking his dad away” from him, when in reality, I was responsible for convincing the court to keep him in it at all.

I worked feverishly building out the most intricate and beautiful pitch deck ever seen. Every page meticulously designed with expert attention to detail: pinks, blues and cream colors, complete with custom infographics that matched our brand kit. It was clean, it was sexy.

My newly strategized plan for the company started to excite me. I had new found confidence that I could explode my growth, if I just had the right support…and well…money. I excitedly send the deck over to Alexandra and the phone call I received, crushed my spirits yet again.

“Kate, I had no idea your company was so small! It looks like a multi-million dollar brand” she states emphatically. “Take it as a compliment.” Compliments don’t pay the bills… I think to myself. This comment was like hearing, “I am sorry, you are just over qualified! We will keep your resume on file.” When you so desperately needed the job.

“The people going in front of these investors need to be raising a minimum of 1-2 Million dollars, not the mere $60k you are looking for, I am sorry! But, the good news is, you will get to brush shoulders with multiple investors that just might be looking!”

I’ll take a million dollars. I thought to myself, I just needed to prove that what I had created was worth it.

I worked around the clock to craft the most beautiful cloth bags you had ever seen, complete with vivid, ironed on logos representing my three most recent brands that I would be representing at the summit.

Let’s see, 3 minutes of heat and firm pressure per bag + 2 minute cry sesh + unexpected trips to the store for more ink + nozzle head printer errors x 120 bags = no sleep for Kate yet again. I swear…my fucking printer will someday be the straw that breaks my back.

The all in cost for the bags and samples alone? Over $2000. My desire for perfection in branding had both its benefits and drawbacks. In this case, it became a curse. Despite this, donating the bags was a huge money-saver compared to the steep $10,000 fee required for everyone else to attend.…or at least Alexandra had tried to convince me of this after I discovered this expensive and wildly inconvenient trip was merely to “brush shoulders” and give away free shit.

Nonetheless, after a few sleepless nights, a meltdown in front of innocent onlookers at Office depot, and several cursing sessions at my printer, I was ready.

I begrudgingly decided to still go to Miami, for less than 25 hours. I would literally be flying from coast to coast in one day. 3 red eye flights for someone with a flying phobia and currently on a paupers budget is definitely not ideal.

The bags were finally complete and just had to be stuffed, with samples and literature. I picked up the Friday night shame-fest special: A giant Dr. Pepper and a 2600 calorie meal from Smash burger, after all, I’d earned it. I headed home to pull yet another all nighter. As I set up my assembly line of swag stuffing, I noticed a notification pop up on my screen, it was Dr. Sal. “Kate, can we please chat, I just want to see those eyes again.”

Having not talked since I left Mexico last week, I was taken aback when he requested a video call. But, I was feeling a bit lonely and bored, and with my night merely consisting of stuffing bags, and my face-with truffle fries- ahead of me, I figured some entertainment from the friendly Canadian narcissist wouldn’t hurt. “What harm could it possibly do?” I asked myself. Plus, I was on to his ego-stroking ways.

As I nestled into my snug leather couch, I carefully propped up my phone on the coffee table, prepared for the moment when he would call. And when he did, I had to do a double take, for he was much more handsome than I remembered! Despite being in the midst of a blizzard, he was radiantly beaming, bundled up in a dashing black pea coat that complemented his rugged charm perfectly.

I couldn’t help but notice the exquisite details that I had overlooked before. His broad, sturdy shoulders exuded strength and stability, while his black beard with salt and pepper streaks lent him an air of distinguished maturity. His hair was luxuriously thick and his dark eyes sparkled with a both mystery and new warmth and kindness that I hadn’t seen before.

At Illios, the Greek restaurant in Playa, I was on high alert and my guard was up, but now, as I saw him on the screen, my defenses melted away. We spoke for hours and I shared with him the struggles I had been facing, and he encouraged me, sharing his own story of being a Phoenix that had risen from the ashes. I quickly had to remind myself of all of the red flags I had already seen!

The way he looked at me, the way he spoke, would make the unsuspecting girl melt, but me? I knew better. He doted on me and told me how amazing it is to watch a hustler in action. “Your drive is so sexy.” Sal says, as he sensually bites the corner of his lip, then grins sheepishly. “You know, it is rare to find someone who has it all, the looks, the determination—-the dance moves.” He winks at me, with a that sparkle in his dark eyes and I feel a tiny jolt of excitement. He really was cute.

“Kate, there is something about you, so fresh, so new, so captivating. I just want to have the chance to get to know you, if you just give me the opportunity.” he says. “You have been working so hard, and I recognize that. I have an idea. I want you to come to Alberta, just for a weekend. I want to spoil you: Massages, nice dinners, some shopping and botox. It will be my treat, you just need to give me your time, and you will be wildly rewarded.” Wildly rewarded? I wonder to myself, what does he mean by that? “There is something about you that has a hold on me, and I just can’t get you out of my head. You have been on my mind since the very moment I laid eyes on you that first night at Bandido’s. I saw that guy all over you and it actually made me jealous.”

Geez…I think to myself…jealous of someone he just met when he was the one on a date! Red Flag!

He is future painting again, trips, shopping, BOTOX? Gosh, I miss my botox, I think to myself as I look at my image on the video screen. I really do need it, I’m looking rundown, tired and kind of sad, he must have noticed too. My self care budget had been the first to go as I struggled regain control of my business. I had been paying the price for someone else’s sins again, it just felt that life was never quite fair.

“Where is the summit?” Dr. Sal asks.

My mind was loosening up to the possibility of continuing to entertain this guy, and my bored, lonely self. It’ll just be a social experiment, I tell myself. I’m strong enough. I know all the signs and have been able to leave easily at the first sign of danger… I’ll even keep a journal of all the things he does along the way. A journal I can look back on when I start to question my own feelings and sanity. If I am careful, I can date this guy for fun and attention and come out even stronger on the other side. What could possibly go wrong? I eat reg flags for breakfast.

“The Biltmore Hotel” I reply.

“Is that where you are staying?” he asks. The question makes me a little uncomfortable. I am not sure I should tell him where I am staying, as he basically has stalked me across two continents by now.

“To be honest, I don’t know yet. It depends on how many sales I have between now and Monday, the Biltmore is like $600 a night, so no matter what, there is no way I am staying there!” I exclaim.

“Kate, you have never had a someone truly support you, have you?” He asks me, pity in his eyes.

“No, not really.” I reply softly.

“I want to get to know you and support you and your dreams. I have never felt this strong for someone so quickly.” Internally my stomach knots, instant red flag. Kalvin said all the exact same things to me in the beginning. Narcissists will try to make you feel like you are special, unique and valued to get you to put down your guard. They put you on a pedestal just to knock you right back down again when you are least suspecting.

“Check your messages!” he says with a sly, mischievous grin. “I have a little surprise for you.”

I open my messages and there is a screenshot of a receipt under my name for a king room at the Biltmore. Total: $594.81 PAID IN FULL

Wow…this guy really is something…

“Kate, I am on your team. I want to be your support system, the one you can count on.” he sweetly says. Despite the blazing red flags, my guard starts to slowly lower. “Thank you so much Sal, you don’t have any idea how much this means to me.” I say softly, genuinely grateful for this gesture, despite whatever his motive may be.

I start floating in the clouds and just as I begin to think maybe I was wrong about him, I notice the email address on the very bottom.

Purchaser’s email: richdad******@****.com

YEP and there it is! I tell myself, as I fall right back down on my ass to reality, This guy does this shit all the time! GROSS. However, the idea of a sugar daddy that is only a few years older than me who is actually moderately attractive, is not that repulsive of an idea after all. I dated Phil for 4 years before realizing he had a profile up scouring the internet for young and desperate, naive girls with a taste for Prada.

I went to great lengths to show my love and affection towards Phil – from elaborate birthday breakfasts in bed to an expensive trip to a beautiful treehouse in the woods that cost me a third of my income for the month. I also made sure to give thoughtful gifts and cards for each and every holiday. Despite my efforts, he never seemed to reciprocate in the same way. It took over three years for him to even get me a birthday present. While I appreciated the trips we went on together, it seemed like he only gave back if he knew there was something in it for him – like a weekend of great sex.

And now Dr. Sal had gifted me this room, with nothing in it for him at all…or was there?

I deserve to be spoiled. Is that what his goal is? I ask myself. There’s only one way to find out. There is no shame in my game now.

The tournament in California just the day before, had greeted me with a freak LA blizzard warning and freezing cold rain. To top it off I got to spend my weekend around Kalvin. I had modified the no contact order a few years back so I could be as involved as possible with Jack’s sports and still be safe. This would mean from time to time I had to be face to face with Kalvin, and this was one of those times.

I never knew how things would go. He used every tournament as an opportunity to get in my head, or make me feel bad for him. Earlier this year he told me and the staff at the dojo that his girlfriend, that we had never met, died of cancer. He posted a photo of them on his Instagram highlights during October for cancer awareness.

To honor her memory, he embroidered her name on his uniform belt and raised funds for the American cancer society. However, what he didn’t know was five months after her death, she had reached out to me from beyond the grave. She wasn’t dead at all! She revealed that he had become obsessively infatuated with her after just one date. He had shown up at her church uninvited, and didn’t even announce himself, yet texted her to tell her how she had looked good that day. He even attempted to send wine to her new boyfriend’s vacation home. As a final attempt to win her over, he sent her the picture of her name embroidered on his belt, “So I can keep you in my thoughts and prayers”, he had told her. This was the last straw.

She had to block him and was so disturbed by his red flags she felt she had to get deeper intel on how dangerous he really was. So she “ghosted him” and messaged me a few months later to ask if I thought he had moved on. Although she was alive, she was dead to him. It was not the first time that Kalvin had become fixated on someone after just one date. The lengths that this narcissist would go to to push his agenda, was truly psychotic. I shudder at the fact that my son has him as a role model for anything other than karate.

“That’s how he was with me, I totally get it, I’m so glad you saw the red flags and listened to your gut”, I reassured her, “he has certainly moved on by now.”

Or had he?

He mentioned, even recently, how devastated he was by her death, and their whirlwind 6 month relationship as he points to his embroidered belt with her name draped in the locker room in her memory.

I would certainly fake my own death to get away from him I could…I ponder how I can pull this off…as I chuckle to myself yet wince at just how crazy my son’s own father is.

The very first time I went to his house, about two weeks after we started dating, he excitedly showed me what he had done to the place. He had recently moved in and was an incredibly skilled artist and interior decorator, but one particular finishing touch he added would have any level headed woman run for their damn lives, but not me!

I was deeply infatuated with him just a few short weeks behind his pace. It turns out six pack abs, and a recent divorce, makes you a perfectly candidate for love bombing. I was putty in his manipulative hands. I take a moment and thank Jesus Christ himself that I had bailed on the matching tattoo appointment that he had scheduled for our 30 day anniversary.

In his immaculately clean bedroom, was a large king bed that was neatly made, a pristine white chiffon canopy adorning all four corners. But, that’s not what got my attention. On the night stand next to the bed was a dark, wooden frame, accompanied on either side with a vase of fresh flowers and deliciously scented vanilla candles. Inside the frame, a photo of me. Initially my eyes widened in confusion,“Where did you get that picture?” I asked with surprise. “I found them on your Facebook and just snagged them.” My gut starts to tighten as we weren’t even connected on social media yet, or so I thought.

He can sense my trepidation. “You are so gorgeous Kate, and I want everyone to know that you’re my girlfriend, that’s all!” Ok…I think to myself, it’s actually kind of sweet when you look at it like that. I reassure myself that it’s not a glaring red flag of what-in-the-actual-fuckery.

In 2 other locations in his house he also had candles and small framed portraits of ME, that he had printed, all within 2 weeks of dating. He showed me his meticulously organized and color coordinated closet. He beams with pride as he reveals a huge poster sized image of one of my previous fitness photo shoots. “How unbelievably sweet!” I gushed, to not let him sense my reservations.

I cringe at the thought that I was so unbelievably oblivious to the most blatant red flags in the history of the universe. Now, I get leery if a guy adds me on social media too soon now. But this, takes the award for the brightest red flag I’d seen up until this point in my inexperienced dating life. This flag held the award for the creepiest red flag until the tattoo of my face 2 years later.

7 years later and he still couldn’t let go of me. Any chance he got, he would try to win me back over by telling me in front of Jack how our love deserves another chance. Jack just couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t give his number one hero a chance. Kalvin would strip his clothes off in my line of sight at these tournaments to “remind me what I was missing.” GAG I wasn’t missing any of it. In fact, guys with abs like that now make me uneasy. Abs are definitely overrated, and for the dick? A big dick doesn’t mean anything if it’s attached to a bigger dick.

But this time when he stripped his shirt off to prepare for his next kickboxing match, I actually did see something that excited me. The tattoo! I glance at his chest and examine it. It was faded heavily. I excitedly screech “Oh thank God! You are finally getting it removed?!!” “Yes, and this one too” he points to his most recent ex wife’s name he tattooed next to my face. “I’ve already had 4 excruciating sessions so far, and spent over $2000 and they still aren’t gone!” He grimaced. “Well, maybe you’ll finally learn your lesson this time.” I shrug. It gave me so much satisfaction to watch him pay this small this small price for at least some of his indiscretions.

As I arrive at the Biltmore, I gaze upon it’s gorgeous architecture and breathe in the warm, humid air, a very welcomed feeling after a cold wet weekend with my ex. Right in that very moment, as if he just knew, I get a message from Dr. Sal. “I hope you enjoy your stay. Take a selfie of the princess for me?”

“Thank you, Dr. Sal!” I utter to myself, and snap a photo to oblige his request. I can’t help but feel some similarities between Kalvin and Dr. Sal. Only time will tell, but this time I’m not starting from scratch, I’m starting from experience. I was ready and prepared for any grandiose gestures Sal might send my way. He’s in another country, I’m safe right?

It’s was his game after all, I am just going to play along. Now, the game’s outcome will be in my hands, he just doesn’t know it.

The conference goes as expected. I hang my head in exhaustion and notice several of my beautiful rush-ordered brochures littered around on conference room floor and began to add up the cost of the precious, wrinkled and soiled loot that I had paid to expedite in my head. Awesome….

The conference is full of hot shot men and a few money hungry wives. I was drained of all energy after countless hours of preparation for this potentially life changing “shoulder brushing” and now sick after clearly annihilating my immune system from days of travel, no sleep and a liquid diet of Dr. Pepper. I was burnt out. My normal chipper self was hiding somewhere within the shell of an exhausted, defeated woman, who was dangerously close to calling it all quits and simply getting a job at Costco.

My burnout, disappointment and quite possibly my third round of Covid was getting to me. This is one of my last chances to get out of this hole and save my company, but I feel like I have one foot in the grave. WAKE UP KATE!!! You can’t give up yet! I urge myself.

I go down to the gift shop for some DayQuil and a Red Bull to try to pull myself together. $28.42 Damn, I just want to go home! I think to myself as I reluctantly hand over my debit card.

I watched the other 5 people who were in my coveted spot of pitching their concepts. All of them had burned through millions of dollars and were raising millions more and were basically all pre-revenue.

My brand had substance, sales and a mission, but I had to sit back and watch them pat their own backs for simply a dream and a yearly burn rate bigger than my lifetime of earnings. I was nothing like these guys. I had built up my brand with integrity and resourcefulness, but somehow my brand was not taken seriously when it came to trying to get loans, funding or a fair valuation. My sales were over six figures and I was running it myself. If I could just get support, I would be bigger than all of these smooth talking big spenders.

The thought of brushing shoulders with some of these guys made me queasy, nevertheless, I tried. I guess it’s a little early to say if nothing will come from it other than some experience, it’s only been two weeks..but I feel like I need to accept that investment in the Biltmore weekend good as gone.

[eponymous-rose]

Wednesday!

MEETING DAY. Not as hectic as usual since I'm not running a seminar this afternoon (we usually have three seminars a week, but because of the big conference so many people are out of town that two of the three were cancelled).

Read a few emails on the bus - the highlight was a request for an interview from some high school kids working on an English project about climate change! I sent them some potential times to chat. Got to work a little early and worked through a bunch more email: got the seminar info from next week's speaker and passed it along to our admin to put up on the website and department calendar, got some additional info from the student I'll be writing a reference letter for, found out about a blood drive with popups on campus (I signed up to donate next week!), an invite to a social on Friday night with faculty and students (I have D&D, so that's a no thank you!).

Taught class! I was a little nervous about this one because it's been AGES since I had to look at this kind of electronics/thermodynamics stuff, but it turns out it's not that tough to explain and the students were extremely engaged so there was a lot of fun back-and-forth. We also went over their first homework assignment (due next week), which I think they followed along with pretty well. We'll see how that goes!

Right out the gate, it's time for the Day of Meetings to commence! Met in person with my PhD student, who immediately pulled out his computer and pulled up his code to work on some debugging. Basically, he has to repeat an operation 60,000 times and currently it's taking 2 minutes per, which is way too slow. And, considering he's parallelized his code and is working on a supercomputer, that's WAY too slow. Like, suspiciously. So we ran through and searched for bugs and tried to figure out what's going wrong when he finally decided to pop up some older code that ran just fine in 8.9 seconds. So he's going to work on incorporating some of what he did in that code in terms of optimization into the new version (something about delayed compute is just not acting like it should) and I'm going to ask a colleague whether he's ever run into this problem on the same supercomputer.

Time for a break! More email. More good email, as there's a notice telling me a research project has been funded! It's not a giant one (one year of funding), but it will pay some of my salary this summer (plus a grad student!), there's money for two publications, and it's aligned with the project I wanted to do for the European conference anyway, so now I'm just actually getting paid to do that side project. Heck yeah. Fingers still crossed about a much, much bigger project (collaborative over 3 years) that I'll hopefully hear back about soon. Sent the good news to my grants administrator and also sent a thank-you to someone who sent me a copy of her successful application from a couple years ago.

More meetings! Virtual meeting with a friend - he's a couple years past tenure but at a very small and isolated department, so we both find work topics to support each other on. We also submitted the aforementioned much, much bigger project together a few months ago, which was a trial by fire where we discovered we genuinely really enjoy working together. We talk a bit about that (I work out that we're not going to hear back until June, booooo) and we spend some time discussing a review article that I was commissioned to write by February that I've looped him in on as a co-author. I bring up my PhD student's coding woes and my friend offers to send him some sample code that might help. We chat pedagogy for a bit and the joy of tiny class sizes (he's teaching a tiny thermo class this year). We also confirm we're both going to the European conference and I yell at him to submit his dang abstract already. Good chat!

Up next: in-person meeting with one of my Master's students! He's trying to finish up his degree a year early, and I'm just now realizing I might be able to apply my newly acquired summer funding to him if he needs it to finish his degree, I'll have to think about the logistics of that. I actually co-advise him, but his other advisor is off on a field campaign so it's just us this week. He shows off some new figures and we fix a quick bug in his code together. I am delighted when he parrots the "justify every single assumption you make" statement I have been trying to instill in him the last few weeks, and he shows it in action with his new sensitivity testing. We go back and forth for a bit and I realize he seems really nervous about coding this new technique, so I get to tell him there's a prewritten package in Python that will do it all for him. Phew. He also hangs around after the formal part of our meeting is done for some career advice that I hope I could help with a bit. Also a good chat!

Normally I'd be rushing off to run a seminar, but it's canceled this week and I kinda want to take advantage of that and go home early again. Email from my grants manager congratulating me on the funding and asking for some paperwork to start that routing. That... sounds like a job for tomorrow, honestly.

Up next: I have no meetings or classes tomorrow so I'm gonna WORK FROM HOME BAYBEE.

Something I wanted to do in the New Year is be more aware of how I'm spending my time at work, so I think I'm gonna try to do little summaries here of what each day entails. Hopefully also kind of interesting/useful if anyone's interested in academia?

For reference: we're on the quarter system, classes started on the 3rd, and I currently teach one class per quarter (heavy research-focused department, so very light teaching load). I also currently supervise 1 PhD student, 2 Master's students and 2 undergraduate research interns.

Monday!

Checked email on the bus to work, which mainly consisted of me seeing a colleague had received an endowed professorship, me writing her an effusive congratulatory message, and then me editing back the message a bit so it was less embarrassingly over the top. Also sent my students a reminder about their homework due on Wednesday and our little field trip tomorrow morning and accidentally sent it to last quarter's class, whoops. Luckily a former student quickly notified me of my mistake and I got it fixed!

Class was great - lots of flipped-classroom stuff that worked well even with only two students in the room (it's a conference week, everyone's traveling). I knew from previous years that the students had really, really struggled with this one equation, so I had them do a couple of examples in class and after working through the first one together, they both nailed it on the second try. Had to cancel a meeting with one of my undergrad research interns after class because the other members of our research team are out of town this week. Where is everyone? Well, at a conference and doing a two-month-long field campaign on the east coast. Forgivable. She offered to send me some of the work she's done thus far, so that's handy!

Went to check email after class and found that apparently a new remote meeting had popped on my schedule for immediately after class with an old peer mentoring group of mine (fellow 4th-year assistant profs in tangentially-related fields - we all did a professional development course last year together). Luckily it was cameras off so I could snack and decompress a bit while we caught up and made some strategic plans for the quarter.

Okay, FINALLY time to check email in earnest before my next meeting. 36 new messages since I checked last. New software package I need to bookmark and keep in mind for later work. Updates from the conference I'm technically attending virtually this week. Reference letter request from an undergrad student; add to calendar! Title and abstract to get added to the website for a seminar I'm hosting in a couple weeks. Reminder that the Zoom recording of my class is available to put online (which I promptly did). Triple-check with our tech guy that we're good to go up on the roof tomorrow to set up instrumentation for my class's term projects (all good!). Time flies, so here's the email with research progress from my undergraduate research intern and a handful of questions, we'll answer those and see how she likes jumping into a new dataset. New grant opportunities, job listings, a bunch of easy stuff to mark off. An essay about allocating time each week into the categories of Teaching, Research, and Service and strictly adhering to the percentages laid out by your tenure/promotion committee. Got a few minutes before my next meeting so I'll try it this week? Ish? Maybe? Looked sidelong at the new schedule, sure, we'll try that this week. Sent an email to my collaborator who's on a field project to see if we can do a remote meeting tomorrow to chat about a couple research proposals. Queued an email for next week's seminar speaker to see if he can send me the title and abstract for his talk/PhD entrance exam next week - no sense freaking him out before Wednesday, so we'll do a scheduled send.

Next up, meeting remotely with my former postdoc advisor! We've set up these meetings to "work on research projects" together but honestly this week it was just listening to him tell a very entertaining story about his car breaking down in rural Missouri and also listening to him describe a truly tragic tale of his very fancy sandwich getting thrown out of the office fridge by accident. That's scientific collaboration, baybee. We did talk research for a bit and he mentioned wanting to collaborate on a paper (he offered to pay for it out of the much more substantial research funds that come with his 30 extra years in the field) so I'm gonna come up with something for that by our next meeting in two weeks. I like working with him - we've published a couple papers in some pretty high-impact journals and he's always let me take the lead and go for first authorship without butting in, only providing support - so this is a fun prospect! I do have to submit an abstract this week for a European conference that'll be happening this spring, so maybe I can go ahead and lean into that idea a little.

It's now getting a little dark and rainy and I'm flagging a bit but I still have an hour before the afternoon seminar, so probably time to do a little course prep. Did some "grading" (just checking completion certificates for an introductory module the students had to go through). Fixed a mistake in Wednesday's lecture (why is there an anemometer when I'm talking about thermometers???). Reviewed some of the more complicated topics in Wednesday's lecture to make sure I'm not totally lost (some thermodynamics I haven't looked at in a while, thermocouples, semiconductors). Replacement slides uploaded to our course management system.

Aha! Email back from collaborator, she's going to be on a research flight tomorrow and won't be able to meet. All good, I don't have much to report anyway. That frees up an hour tomorrow, woohoo.

Okay, students have a homework assignment due a week from Wednesday, so I'm gonna post it this Wednesday. I have a good homework assignment prepared, I just needed to go in and write up a nice answer key. Got that done (along with some sample Python code to provide them with) and the homework assignment is scheduled to be posted, so it's time to look at next week's lectures. I've inherited this class from someone whose course notes can be a little scattered, so this is usually a bit of a process. Only two lectures to prep for next week, though!

Took a break from lecture prep to go to today's seminar, which purported to be about a really dodgy geoengineering scheme (redundant descriptor, am I right?) but in fact just rigorously tested said scheme and demonstrated it would actually have the opposite effect. Super fun and interesting seminar!

Okay, back to working on lectures for next week. Somehow got both of next week's lectures done before the end of the day, so those should just need a little polish and they'll be ready to go! Uploaded them to the course management system but sneakily and they won't appear to students until I've checked them over.

Tomorrow: going to the roof with my students to set up their term projects, then tons of sweet, sweet, meeting-free office time carved out. Hope this doesn't come back to bite me with a million meetings on Wednesday (...it will).

Important: work is done by 5PM. I try very hard to adhere to "leave work at work", which is not as much of a pipe dream as it seems, even for R1 tenure-track.

[yourfantasyfigures]

Chapter 2: Fever

Border: Carnival <completed>

Start here: Prologue: The Invitation

Previous chapter: Drunk-Dazed (Chapter 1)

Masterlist Info AO3

"... but it might cause a scene. You all have five seconds to stop me."

Rating: All Audiences

Words: 4612

Status: Weekly updates

Tags & Warnings for the entire fic: Vampire!au, mystery, found family, hurt & comfort, non-graphic violence, hints towards past trauma

This chapter: neglectful parents, reckless life-threatening behavior, being followed/chased

If you have any questions or concerns regarding the tags/warnings, feel free to contact me. Please let me know if I'm missing any tags.

°°°

Jay really wanted to get this right.

When he was with the boys, trying to figure out who should go where, he had already made up his mind on what to do. They had been sitting around a map Jay had found, showing the layout of the carnival. It was big, hosting every ride and attraction a carnival might need, but it wasn't overwhelming. Jay had seen bigger ones, which was no surprise considering how many amusement parks he had been to. His fondest memory being of a so called luna park in Italy, a place he was sure he could never forget no matter how much time passed or how much he grew up.

The luna park itself hadn't actually been too impressive and little Jay had actually been rather bored at first, not in the mood to pretend to have fun here just so his parents could act like they were actually doing this for their son and not because they had no clue how to actually parent him without spending money.

When he was a young child, Jay had thought that he was the luckiest kid, at least that's what all the others in his class told him when they found out about the expensive trips he would go on or when he came to school with the newest toy everybody wanted. Of course, Jay had been happy and even proud that his family would provide these things for him, enjoying how the other students flocked around him.

Over time, however, he noticed something being strange about his family. While they had no issue spending money on him, they seemingly couldn't afford something all the other parents could - time. His classmates would tell the class about fun weekends, recounting the hilarious jokes and precious memories they were experiencing with their families. Jay on the other hand could only talk about which game he had played alone in his room, only coming out when his parents called him to eat. If he was lucky, both his parents would be there and they could have a family dinner, which meant they might even have a conversation. Of course, Jay wouldn't understand what his parents were talking about most of the time, no matter how hard he tried to understand and learn more about the topics his parents liked to discuss. Even though he didn't understand, he loved these dinners with his whole heart. They were so much better than all the other times he had to eat alone or feel lonely because his parents were too busy doing something else. It would have probably been easier if he at least had some siblings he could play with, but that was not something Jay ever got. At least not in the traditional sense.

But you could say that most of his life hadn't went down the traditional route, considering the vampire stuff and all.

Back at the luna park, though, Jay was about eight years old and not in the mood to do anything, really. That was until a boy around his age approached him, leading to the two spending the evening at the park together, running around and playing like there was no tomorrow. They even ended up riding the ferris wheel twice. It was only one night and Jay wasn't even sure he ever got the boy's name, but it didn't matter. For a long time, this boy had been the best friend Jay had ever had.

It might seem like that exact memory was the reason Jay had immediately gravitated towards the ferris wheel when they were deciding who should go where, but he would be the first to tell you that this was not the case. His thinking was a lot more practical than that. The ferris wheel was the perfect spot to look at the carnival in its entirety. Whoever was in charge of this ride would be most likely to gain crucial information about the layout of the carnival, so it came with a lot of responsibility. Naturally, Jay immediately volunteered to take on this ride, determined to be of service for the group. Jay liked a challenge, and he liked conquering it even more. He was going to get on this ferris wheel and he was not going to get off before he knew enough.

Soon, it was his turn up on the ferris wheel and so he stepped into a cabin, happy that he had one for himself. And as the wheel started to turn, he took a good look around.

As expected, the view was great from the ferris wheel. Of course, he saw the pendulum which was next to the ferris wheel, he had already spotted it before he set foot on the ferris wheel. He could now also see the attractions previously hidden behind the pendulum: There was a merry-go-round and behind that the shooting gallery right next to a fishing station. Turning his head towards the right he spotted a building he assumed to be the maze of mirrors. In the middle of the carnival there was a circus tent, although there was currently nobody going in and out of it. Behind the tent, opposite the ferris wheel, Jay could spot a haunted house, the swing ride as well as bumper cars. There were more rides and stands across the carnival, none of which seemed too important to Jay. His eyes gravitated to the entrance of the carnival, next to which he saw some stands for food and drinks. He couldn't be sure but Jay thought he might have spotted Heeseung standing at one of them, talking to a small group of people.

Overall, nothing really stood out to Jay as suspicious or out of the ordinary, at least not at first glance.

While his eyes were still wandering across the scene, mind running at a hundred miles an hour, he suddenly heard a voice in his head.

"It's definitely that circus tent. He has- We have to go to the tent."

"I'm literally about to go on the swing ride. Do we have to go now?"

Another voice piped up, Jungwon this time:

"Depends. Ni-ki, do you know where he is? Who's with him? How to get to and away from him?"

The first voice spoke up again.

"He's - so-okay. Let me just- The Invitation. It's a circus show with running and flipping and flying and it's him. It's definitely him. I don't know how and when but we need to go there."

Before Ni-ki could ramble any further, Jay decided to step in this time.

"I can see the tent and its surroundings really well from here, let me figure it out. Jake, I think you should get on the ride and see if you notice anything. We shouldn't get too close on our own, right?"

"But what if we're late, We can't- no. I'm going there, you guys can join later."

"Ni-ki"

Jay was a bit startled by Jungwon's stern tone.

"Ni-ki, wait. I get that you want to go but we need to think clearly right now. This is a lot, for you especially, so let's take a breath and think."

"If it's that Invitation thing then he'll be here the whole evening.", Heeseung chimed in, "So we should wait until we have it figured out. How about you come to the entrance, where the snacks are and we can wait together."

There was a pause with nobody saying a word, only at Jungwon's impatient "Ni-ki?" there was finally a response.

"I'm walking over to Heeseung. Just- try to hurry or something."

"We're doing what we can."

Jay found himself nodding at Jake's words, deciding to focus on the task at hand. The others also seemed to be done with the conversation, persumably going back to focussing on whatever it was they were doing in that moment.

The wheel had already finished its first round, Jay's cabin once again moving towards the top where he could overlook everything. This time, his focus was fully on the circus tent Ni-ki had mentioned. It was the size you'd expect from a regular circus tent, perhaps a bit more on the bigger side. It was very obvious where the main entrance was facing the entrance of the carnival. There seemed to be at least one back entrance as well, the one the performers would enter and exit through. Both the front and the back exit were clearly marked.

On his last round on the ferris wheel, there was a slight detail that caught his attention. He couldn't be sure but it seemed like there had been some movement on one side of the tent, his eyes settling on someone who hastily entered the tent there. This was strange, since Jay couldn't spot any entrance there. It was on the side opposite the ferris wheel, though, and since his turn on the wheel was almost over, he decided to instead tell Jake to check it out, he himself joining Heeseung and Ni-ki and wait for the others.

°

The music was way too loud.

Loud music was to be expected at any carnival, especially the ones with tons of attractions and bright colors. But it was especially loud here over at the bumper cars. Throwback pop music was blasting through the speakers and as if that wasn't enough, somebody apparently thought that adding wild sound effects would make this experience even better. When there was a break in the music for once, you could here the creepy soundtrack seeping over from the haunted house topped off with screams of the attendees, although those might as well be coming from the swing ride or any other attraction at the carnival.

Either way, there were a lot of sounds and noises all around which could be very overwhelming for everybody who wasn't used to this much sensory input.

So, it should not be surprising that Sunghoon needed a moment to adjust to his environment, taking in the different sounds and calmly compartmentalizing them into what the sound was and where it came from.

Maybe that's why he was too distracted at first to realize that somebody was attempting to start a conversation with him. Only when they tapped his shoulder he snapped out of it, looking at the person stood next to him. It was a man, also waiting for the current round on the bumper cars to end so they could get his turn.

"You also waiting for the cars?" one of them asked and Sunghoon just nodded.

What kind of question was that? Did they think Sunghoon was just standing there to watch others have all the fun? Surely not.

The man also nodded, muttering "Yeah me too..."

Not sure what else to do, Sunghoon just kept awkwardly nodding, eyes drifting back to the bumper cars in front of him until the man spoke up again.

"I'm sorry if this is strange but I could swear I've seen your face before. We don't know each other, do we?"

Sunghoon shook his head in response.

"I don't think so, maybe you're confusing me with someone."

This was not good enough for the other man who was determined to figure this out.

"Okay yeah I didn't think so either, but I still know you from somewhere. I swear, you seeem very familiar."

They both didn't say anything for a moment, the man because he was deep in thought and Sunghoon because he didn't have anything to say.

Then, the man spoke up again: "You're a celebrity, right?"

This time, Sunghoon's denial wasn't enough to convince the man.

"Don't lie to me now, you definitely are! I think I've seen you on TV before!"

Still unsure what to say, Sunghoon just waited for the man to continue his train of thought, hopefully leading to some sort of clarity on what he was refering to.

"I got it! l used to watch sports a lot a few years ago and you, you look exactly like this one athlete. There was this kid that was, like, super good at figure skating, it was out of this world. He was this prodigy, you know who I'm talking about? He suddenly stopped one day though, I think to get more education."

Sunghoon kept smiling awkwardly, answering that he had no idea who the man was talking about. This finally satisfied the man who was glad to have figured out who he was thinking of, even if Sunghoon wasn't actually his guy.

Little did he know, that Sunghoon absolutely was his guy, the conversation sending him back to a time that felt like it was an eternity ago.

The ice rink used to be his home, every day after school while his friends enjoyed their free time, he would go and practice for hours on end. His coach knew him well, having trained him ever since he was a young boy, and she knew exactly how far she could push him to achieve the best results.

Some days, practice would end with him sobbing on the ice, the pressure of being an athlete and disappointment of not perfecting a stunt too much for him to handle.

On other days, he was so euphoric his parents had to basically pry him off the rink when all he wanted to do was to continue spinning and jumping on the ice.

His hard work was paying off, Sunghoon becoming an important character in the figure skating scene. It wasn't every day that a person this young, a boy at that, achieved this much success in a field like this and so he was soon known as a prodigy, the gifted kid with a bright future ahead.

Of course, being the gifted kid comes with different perks like scholarships and offers from special schools that would be more than happy to have him attend.

If only Sunghoon had known what going to one of these schools - it was a disservice to call it a school, really - would entail for him. The public thought he had just gone to this amazing private school where he studied diligently and then was assumed to pursue a stellar career in business or something where he would live happily ever after. One thing Sunghoon couldn't help but wonder was if his parents knew. Did they think he was furthering his education? Or did they know that that assumption couldn't be further from the truth and what he had actually been subjected to was something no human should ever go through? Well, to their credit, they did make sure Sunghoon wasn't human anymore and vampire rights weren't exactly covered by the law. Or maybe they were, who even knows.

Something felt off.

He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but something made Sunghoon shift uncomfortably.

He felt a prickling sensation at the back of his neck, the little hairs all over his body standing up.

There was no doubt about it, he felt watched.

Sunghoon slowly turned around, his eyes scanning every face he could find in hopes of catching whoever had their eyes on him. It seemed like everyone was minding their own businessbut that wasn't enough to settle Sunghoon's anxiety.

He decided on a change of plans, ditching his spot in line and walking away from the bumper cars and towards the haunted house, even though he had no plans of entering. Instead he stayed on his toes, careful to pay attention if anybody was following him.

And behold, one of the figures previously blending into the small crowd in front of the bumper cars seemed to leave just as Sunghoon did, something that would not have seemed strange to anyone who wasn't already suspicious.

Sunghoon picked up the pace, causing the other person to do the same. There was no more denying, somebody was on his heels.

He took a sharp left and another, now behind the haunted house, hidden from everybody at the carnival. He had done it in hopes of shaking off the strange person but quickly realized that he might have just made a big mistake.

Where he had previously set his sights on the lights of the bumper car attraction, which he was once again rapidly walking towards, his path was suddenly blocked by someone who was slowly approaching him. He tried to turn around to run back to where he came from but he just came face to face with whoever it was that had been behind him since earlier. With the haunted house on one side and the wall of a tall building on the other, Sunghoon was effectively trapped.

"What do you want?"

He asked loudly.

The two seemed a bit startled by his loud voice, stopping in their tracks. The taller one flashed him a fake smile that was unnerving more than anything.

"We just want to talk."

"About what?"

The shorter of the two, the one that had followed him first took one step closer.

"We heard what that man said to you earlier and wanted to see what our celebrity was up to."

Confused, Sunghoon responded: "Then you should have also heard me say that I'm not that kid."

The taller one was now also coming closer, chuckling, then looking right at Sunghoon.

"That's strange, I could have sworn you were the famous...ice prince"

It was like he was struck by lightning in that moment.

That nickname. There was only one person who had ever called him by that nickname. It had been so long but it now felt like an old wound had been ripped open.

How did they know? Did he send them? What did they want now?

Sunghoon knew he couldn't stick around to find out. He had to leave. Now.

°

Jake was buzzing with excitement.

Most people his age probably didn't care too much about going to a carnival and riding the different rides there.

But Jake was ecstatic. The last time he had went to a carnival must have been many years ago, sometime in middle school - or maybe even high school? Either way, Jake was happy to experience an event like this again after a long time of not being able to do so. He could feel himself fidget, finding it hard to stand still. He was moving from one leg to the other, his knees shaking with energy. It also felt like his body was heating up, almost like a fever was taking over him.

The line for the swing side was rather long and he wondered if the other guys were also stuck waiting like him.

After a long time, Jake was excited to finally be next in line, ready to go on the ride. He wasn't too sure what to do when he got up there. He would probably allow himself to just enjoy a single round, taking in the feeling of being on a ride like this. Then, he would use the view of the ride to get a better understanding of the park and its layout, something that could come in handy after the others figure out what the meaning behind The Invitation was.

Just as he was about to step up to the swing ride and choose a seat, he was startled by a sudden voice.

"It's definitely that circus tent. He has- We have to go to the tent."

Jake looked around for a second before realizing that Ni-ki was not speaking into his ear but instead sending his message to Jake and the other boys from wherever he was. Though this form of communication wasn't that new to him anymore, he still couldn't fully get used to it and sometimes forgot that it was something he could now do.

The person operating gave Jake a confused look, waiting for him to get on the ride or leave the line. Luckily, the others had been rather quick in deciding what to do so Jake took a seat on the ride.

Soon, when everybody was strapped in, swings started up.

While the others around him seemed to start getting queasy, Jake felt nothing but joy with each meter they descended into the air.

Just like he had planned, he pushed all thoughts aside on the first round, closing his eyes and relishing in the breeze whirling through his hair. It had been a while since Jake had felt this way. Despite everything, he still had joy - to the point that the others asked how he did it - and he rediscovered freedom but there was something about flying through the air that was so different. It was like he didn't have a care in the world.

Except, of course, he absolutely did, so Jake reluctantly opened is eyes, trying not to feel too disappointed at the fact that the short time purely for his enjoyment was over.

The carnival looked similar to what they had seen on the map, although the real carnival was bustling with life and happiness.

It seemed to be very well organized, each ride having a clearly marked entrance and exit, signs ensuring nobody would get in the wrong line.

Jake could also see that there were a lot of people who decided to come to the carnival that day. Still, it was not too crowded he noted as he saw visitors freely walking wherever they wanted without bumping into each other.

"Jake, you see the tent, right?"

Again, Jake was taken aback at the sudden appearance of a voice in his head but he quickly put together that it was Jay contacting him. Jake answered:

"The circus tent? Of course I do, it's impossible to miss."

"Do me a favor and look if you can spot an entrance or something on your side. I know it has a front and a back but I could've sworn there was something more on your side of the tent. I would go there and check it out for myself but after Ni-ki mentioned him potentially being there, I don't want to take the risk."

Jake brushed off Jay's suggestion, his eyes already fixed on the circus tent, sending a final answer:

"Don't worry, I got it."

He didn't have to look for long before he saw exactly what Jay had been referring to.

There was some movement on one side of the tent that, despite what you'd think on first glance, could not have been caused by the wind. Whether or not it was an actual entrance was not hard to figure out. Right in that moment, someone exited the tent right at that spot before hurrying off in one direction. Jake would have loved to watch where the tall figure was going but, for the third time that day, he was interrupted by a voice in his head.

"Hey guys? There might be a problem."

The voice was frantic, causing alarm bells to go off in Jake's head. Evidently the same was the case for the other boys.

"What's wrong, Sunghoon? Did something happen?" Heeseung asked.

"Does me currently climbing up the back wall of the haunted house in order to escape two dudes that are chasing me qualify as 'something happening'?"

"Should someone go to the house or something?"

Jay's question was followed by a short silence, followed by Sunghoon speaking up again.

"Maybe? I'm almost at the top... I'm gonna try to escape through the haunted house but I wouldn't mind some backup. I don't know who they are but they know me. As in, they probably know us. From when we were at I-Land."

Jake suddenly felt a hot rush chasing through his body, immediately followed by an ice cold shock.

He had no idea who they were and more importantly why they were chasing Sunghoon. If they really knew them from back then, did they want to take him back?

No matter what it was, Sunghoon should not have to face them alone.

He looked over to the haunted house and spotted Sunghoon at the back of it, about three fourths of the way up. He also spotted the two people following him, although they weren't too close behind yet.

Jake made a snap decision.

"I'm coming over, Sunghoon. But it might cause a scene. You all have five seconds to stop me."

1... 2...3..

"It's probably best if he's not alone, so I'd say let's take that risk. Just be careful, Jake. And you too, Sunghoon. Keep us updated."

There was no further comment beside a "Be careful you guys" from Sunoo, so Jake knew what he had to do.

He shut his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He opened his eyes again.

It was now or never.

He put his hands firmly onto his seat and with one strong push he managed to prop up his body, now sitting on top of the backrest with his shoes on the seat. There was a strong wind blowing into his face but Jake was securely holding onto the chains of the ride, preventing him from tumbling backwards.

As expected, the commotion started.

"Hey! What are you doing?", Jake heard the person in the seat behind him shout.

This alerted others who were - understandably - shocked and worried about the boy that had rid himself from all safety measures. Jake didn't pay them any mind, now standing on the backrest.

He jumped.

For a moment it was like he was flying, the air blowing into his face and messing up his hair. The only thing he could hear was the rush of the wind, everything seeming so loud and so quiet at the same time.

He could barely keep his eyes open but managed to win the battle against the wind.

Then, he landed.

His knees buckled, Jake managed to catch himself with one hand instead of completely tumbling to the ground. There was no time to waste, no time to allow all senses to arrive in the moment.

As he got up, he felt a hand grabbing his left arm and pulling him forwards. He was about to swing at his attacker but then he heard a voice right next to his ear.

"Let's go."

Sunghoon and Jake must have arrived on the roof of the haunted house at the same time, which also led to the assumption that those following Sunghoon weren't too far behind. Jake had no idea how close they were and he was not interested in finding out.

Instead, he let himself be pulled forward by Sunghoon who was nearing the edge of the roof.

"Let's just try and run through there and if it works, it works. Any better ideas?"

Jake shook his head. "Let's go!"

No longer holding onto Jake, Sunghoon jumped, dropping onto a platform of the haunted house, Jake closely following behind. Squeezing past a goblin statue, they found a way into a random room of the house.

The room was dark with only a sliver of light coming in from the direction Jake and Sunghoon had entered through. Eyes adjusting to the darkness, they had no time to lose. Jake could make out three doors leading out of the room, two of which were positioned rather closely to one another.

He turned to Sunghoon.

"It's set up like a maze. The guests walk through until they find an exit. Which means-"

"There are dead ends", Sunghoon completed Jake's train of thought.

They heard a thud sound, alerting them to unwelcome company.

"The entrance", Jake whispered and both he and Sunghoon charged towards the door further away from the other doors, hoping they could escape quick enough.

Chapter 3: Not For Sale

[sofijaeger]

Hi I’ve been dying for an aot dance Au when you have the time can you write something about y/n and Eren being dancers? They’ve been dance partners since childhood and gained feeling along the way.They dance something like this:

<3

<3

you certainly came to the right person for this. NO ONES EVER ASKED ME FOR A DANCE REQUEST BEFORE and i’m so so happy to write it for you!

eren x reader

• you’ve always had big passions for the things you do, and when it involves anything in the performing arts proving your ability has made your friends and family proud year after year.

• eren on the other hand has kept this passion of his secret, at least he’s done so for this past decade. Coming from an uninspirational family hadn’t really supported him in persuing his dreams.

• you first met at much younger ages though, on a saturday morning to be exact. eren had taken (been forced) to participate in the twinkle toes program at a new studio by carla.

• she mainly wanted to build his coordination, because before eren became eren he was the lankiest little shit. she figured singing and dancing would make him forget the training segments along the way.

• yet he was completely captivated by something else. three year-old eren was absolutely enamoured in the small child shaking their hips beside him. you had been having the time of your life, wiping eren’s pout clean off in the process.

• he tried to coo, yes coo to you, and somehow it gained your attention. turning to a gorgeous green-eyed boy, you let out a big smile and a double wave with two arms over your head.

• for the rest of class carla and your parent had eyed your encounters in awe, whispering “gotta keep ‘em together huh?” in between exercises.

• you stayed very close with every coming season, joining the studios competitive team and inviting each other over for extra practice, which led to weekend movie nights, which then resulted in the two of you passed out on the floor. Your friendship was clearly evident.

• and the two of your believed to think no further, but team members, teachers, even your own parents found a very loving chemistry between the two of you. You and eren had been inseparable and keeping it that way had made you happiest.

• by middle school however, eren had begun to think: maybe you’d be better off if you hadn’t kept this connection? In this time of his life an embarrassment had been growing inside of him from being a male dancer, tired of constant criticism from who he thought were his friends.

“you play a girls sport?”

“that’s the lamest thing i’ve ever heard.”

“so, you’re gay?”

“don’t fall in love with me!”

• the comments were horrible, absolutely immature and uncalled for but young eren gained the greatest influence from his friends. He wanted to belong, it was a necessity.

• little by little eren became a distant figure in your life, texting you less each week, opting out of competitions to the point your entire team had to re-choreograph routines to smaller groups.

• your duet had even been removed from performance schedules, as if eren’s passion for dance had never even existed at all.

• that’s how it stayed for the next few years of your life, you and him appeared to have never shared a bond at all. In your senior year of high school, over five years later had he stepped into the studio once again

• he planned to do a leisure clean up of the studio for the owner, a close friend of his mother’s. coincidentally you were there too, practicing alone in the second studio and desperately trying to add transitions into one of your routines.

• he peered inside, stumbling over the flaked doorframe in the process. It had gotten your attention in a sharp breath and quickly, you ran over to aid him

“it’s been a while hasn’t it, ren.”

“too long, i think.”

• you brought him inside, seating him down in the corner with a small ice pack to discuss everything, from the moment you two left off at.

• you could see the want in his eyes, the need to perform and have the ability to move again. Dance was a freedom that he cherished so deeply, regretting it by the cruel words of his friends was the worst mistake he could’ve ever made.

“why don’t you help me choreograph huh? we could work on this together like old times.” you smiled fondling with his hand, genuinely happy to recruit him again.

• students and old friends were beyond excited once news spread of eren’s grand return, surprising you the most. He seemed so determined to join the studio again, was he truly inspired to dance again? Had you become a pivotal step in his performing career?

• and eren was ecstatic when he accepted, especially for the more time he’d get to spend with you. over the next few weeks eren would add in his input of moves and tricks while stretching and strength training to get back into dancing shape, which wasn’t too difficult considering how athletic he’d become playing school sports. occasionally in his practice he’d sneak a glance, awing in your direction over the delicacy of your technique and emotion.

• atta girl he’d compliment spotting your turns and leaps, enjoying the lingering touches on each other’s bodies more than he should have. His hands have roamed across almost every part of you, the partner you’d soon be working with wouldn’t dare think to do such, for he’d be sworn to follow clear instructions, not the instinct of his creativity.

“You’re performing a duet with Jean?”

“That’s what we’ve been working on right?”

• it’s evident one more word from your pretty little mouth will make him livid, but eren contains himself in the best way he possibly can. He could easily clean the routine, re-choreograph the idiot to the opposite side of the stage as you

• eren wanted to watch you shine, grace the audience with your presence. The lights wouldn’t reflect Jeans being as naturally as it would yours, the solution to this problem?

“let’s make it a trio.”

• from that moment, eren had joined your routine at the literal last minute. A completed duet ready to perform in a matter of weeks now fell two steps back

• Eren was certain he would make this trio work, even past the nagging flickers and suggestive smiles your other partner had been giving you.

• the weekend of the competition, you were frightened over no other performance but one. Eren hadn’t danced in almost a decade, would his minimal time to prepare be enough to place in the overalls? eren however could sense your anxiousness, providing the most genuine words of courage and a gentle palm over your dampened cheek to remove all your insecurities.

• “i re-joined because i missed it, i’ve missed you, so follow your passion and trust in me. no matter the score i’ve never been happier to perform with you again.”

cue my favorite fricking trio EVER

https://youtu.be/kfuHlRuzmpc

Eren plays the boy in the white shirt, you play the girl in the blue dress, and jean plays the boy in the grey shirt

people in the video do not resemble how you look in these hc’s! i’ve always loved this choreography and thought it perfectly fit with the story.

• exhaling to contain his eagerness, eren presses his lips onto your own. He reaches his fingers to your cheeks, burying his digits into your sweaty updo as you scrunch your eyes. it was only supposed to be a hug, just one simple movement of affection but eren couldn’t hold onto this feeling any longer.

and as you let him go you returned a gentle smile, knowing your exit intertwined in jean’s arms would only go as far as the stage. You’d be waiting for your other partner in the wings.

[twilightpoison]

It’s been brought up to me that a lot of my content is Isekai based. However I didn’t want this to be a Ieskai HC post. Instead let me tell you all about a stupid thing I came up with as a kid that I’ve been meaning to make into a fic for so long.:

What if the characters you play actually can feel your presence and/or can hear your commentary when playing?

Fair warning I never play Hyrule Warriors and Twilight Princess so let me know if I got things wrong.

Head canons under cut!

General head canons (These are all platonic headcanons btw.):

- Let’s say that the simple reason that you are here was to help the chain. Think of it like you’re the groups companion on this journey. Who better then someone that knows about each hyrule?

- The people who dealt with a lot of magic recognize you at first. The others need a bit of a push to connect the dots but everyone gets there.

- The connection wasn’t as strong at times during their original adventures, so its not like they could always hear you or sense you.

Time:

- You saw him and it was clear he has another sibling now.

- Time knew you where telling the true, that you followed both of his adventures however he wasn’t going to be fully open to you.

- Guess who isn’t scared of Time? You.

- Literally at one point you’ve pointed at Time and with a straight face says “thats a child”.

- This is also how the chain found out that Time actually fought the moon technically.

- “You fought Majora on the moon while it was falling. That’s not the same thing.”

- You meet Malon and it was an awkward first meeting since how do you explain this in the first place.

- Yet the two of you got along amazingly.

- When you and time are alone you instantly ask Time if he knew how she got the cow in his house. He kinda just… stares at you? Like you just met his wife and thats what your asking about?!

- The answer was that he wasn’t sure how she did that but the cow isn’t in his old house anymore. Since different timelines and all.

- It’s honestly weird for him to have someone remember both of his adventures in confidence.

- All be a little awkward hearing someone go, “oh yeah! Time had to do something similar.”

- Early on Time did go over boundaries since he really doesn’t like to talk about his adventures to much.

- So instead you both agree to be as cryptic as possible or at least there is an attempt on your part. Since your the only other person that can confirm or deny his claims.

- And no. You also don’t know his true age. But your guess is the closest.

Twilight:

- Since he is one of the Link’s that is drenched in magic, he recognizes your aura instantly.

- Chaotic sibling energy.

- If he is giving Wild or any of the other Link’s a hard time you are by his side calling Twilight out. Unless if the person in question did something truly idiotic then you let him go off.

- Speaking of, you call this man out as much as you possibly can. Like hell if you’re going to let the others think he isn’t a gremlin.

- He did try to stop you by covering your mouth but you licked his hand. So…. guess what he isn’t trying again unless it’s necessary.

- Somethings are kept a secret though. Since he did live through it and even if it was stupid he still could of gotten really hurt.

- You both play good cop, bad cop to the younger Links all the time.

- Twi is surprisingly very open with you about his adventure, to finally talk to someone about it with out having it sound crazy is nice.

- He also has some questions about you and your life. Since before this adventure started you just disappeared.

- The two of you honestly get along like two best friends who haven’t seen each other in years but still can banter like its the good old days.

- Knowing only small amounts about what they all been through it’s nice to know that you’re looking after the others as well.

- That feeling makes him really push himself to protect the family he has here and luckily you are here can smack him upside the head before lecturing him.

Warriors:

- heeeeey… you know what happen the last time he met someone that was suppose to be watching over the hero’s spirit?

- Yeah, so….War’s isn’t so keen on trusting you like some of these Heroes.

- You seem nice and not obsessively crazy. If anything what makes him decide to give you a chance. It’s seeing you get along with the other Heroes post battle or around the campfire when you think no one is watching.

- The moment that he recognizes you. You were cursing out some monsters and calling Dink every name under the sun. Which he actually remembers hearing your panicked voice briefly when fighting Cia.

- Anyway, you guys are a sass duo and even a trio when you get Leg involved.

- You steal his scarf sometimes with Time and Wind’s help

- He finds you and Wind wrapped inside of it leaning on time and his heart just- clenches, he has more siblings now!

- Then Warriors realizes he has another sibling… another sibling that will prank him…

- You two can be found discussing tactical strategies. Mostly him teaching you though since depending on the person not many people will know how to lead an army. Yet he is a good teacher and you catch on pretty quickly.

- Same with Twi, Warrior’s needs someone to pull him back sometimes it seems. Who better then to remind him then the person that already saw his lowest moment when his ego got the better of him?

- Seriously speaking. He wouldn’t come to you to talk. If anything he will try to avoid you if he wasn’t his best. In his head he has a reputation to uphold. Which will lead to a heart to heart. No sass. No banter. Just you and him sitting down to remind him that he is human.

- He needs a hug. Please give him a hug.

Sky:

- Sky actually didn’t recognize you at first!

- Yes he felt your presence and hear your voice in his adventure, but that was a while ago at this point. Also he isn’t as connected to magic as the others are.

- He does slowly befriend you despite everything.

- It wasn’t until you referred to a certain demon lord as a ‘B*tch A** Clown’ and a flood gate of memories open up for him. Memories of you cursing out Ghirahim, calling the imprisoned an ‘avocado with feet’ and so on.

- Nothing really changes between you two honestly, he just accepts it.

- If anything he becomes more open to you about everything, setting clear boundaries on what he doesn’t want to bring up. He will tell everyone about the curse eventually, but just hasn’t found a good opportunity too. Things like that.

- You do have to argue with Sky that the curse wasn’t his fault since you were also there when it was put on him, also the fact that he didn’t asked to be cursed in the first place.

- Most of the time you two are together its to get away from the chaos that the group of nine heroes could bring.

- Walking or sitting in silence is how you two end up most of the time together. It may not look like you two are bonding. There are some days while Sky is wood carving you would work on your small hobby as well. Then there are days he plays the harp and your reading.

- Despite it all he really enjoys the peace you bring. There is a sense of comfort that you have.

- When you and Sun finally meet. The first thing you ask him is to be invited to the wedding and it may or may not been in front of her too…

Wild:

- The recognition was really slow for him like Sky. Since Wild just got off of his first adventure he didn’t actually notice you were gone.

- It was until he realized that he couldn’t hear your panicked voice or snarky remarks when fighting in his head. That he finally realized you where outside of his head. He was quick to connects the dots after that.

- There was a moment where he didn’t know how to react since he just figured that you were just from his imagination.

- He now has another adventuring buddy with Hyurle! Though luckily you do keep the both of them from harm. Mostly because if something happens to them you will get in trouble with like Twi and Leg and thats never fun.

- Though you have your moments. Shield surfing and paragliding are on top of that list and Wild is all up for teaching you the ropes.

- The topic of the history of hyrule gets brought up a lot with the two of you. Since his era has a lot of connections to the past era’s. He is all up for learning about what came from where. Soon theories start to fly about.

- When You, Him and Flora are finally all together. There is nothing stopping you all from bouncing off theories. With your outside knowledge mixing with what they know. Things start to fall into place.

- The answer to why the timeline is like this doesn’t get answer. But hey! At least you all are having fun!

- If you can’t cook he will teach you that too! If you can! Well buckle up your going to share your knowledge with him whether you want to or not.

- Once you know how or get used to cooking while camping, you help him out a lot and its these moments where you both talk the most.

- It’s comforting to him to know he wasn’t alone this whole time.

Legend:

- As soon as you two locked eyes he felt instant dread. Yes he knew. No he isn’t going to opening up to you.

- Playful Insults to bond? Yeah that’s literally how he talks to everyone so no special treatment.

- He keeps you at a distance but its not actually working.

- You talk about his adventures so casually like it happened a few days ago. You avoid Link’s Awakening though. If you got hurt with the plot twist then you could only imagine the pain Leg went through.

- “I’m still trying to process the fact you married a tree.” “Hey remember that one time with Yuga, you slammed face first into a wall so hard you knocked yourself out?” “God do you not wear pants because of the fish thing?”

- This relationship is literally: Only I can bully this one.

- He fears the moment you meet Ravio and Fable knowing full well you all will bond over teasing him.

- Overall though he knows you got his back no matter what, to the point he finds himself confining in you slowly.

- Guess who is also teaming up with Hyrule to get Legend to sleep. It you.

- Once you probably have forced him to sleep by getting wolfie to lay on him. It was the wolf or yourself. In the end it was both of you and he was trapped.

- A sign that he was becoming soft towards you was when he started sharing his items with you. He trusts that you know how to use them and if you don’t he is actually willing to show you.

- He regrets giving the bee badge to you.

Hyrule:

- Another person that is drenched in magic. It only took one look at you for him to realize who you were.

- The two of you were awkward as anything at first. Since to you he never really spoken in his adventure so you didn’t know how to picture his personality.

- There’s a lot of mystery in your mind about him since again there isn’t much to go off of with what your given in game. It’s weird for him to hear about how you interpret his personality from that perspective.

- Hyrule didn’t honestly expect you to try and befriend him tbh. It mostly him over thinking it.

- You do follow him sometimes when he wants to wander around and explore. Mostly because you claim he finds the coolest things when he does.

- But its just a excuse to actually get to know him.

- The two of you trade stories and questions about each of your lives. There might be things you know that he might not know of about his adventure and his hyrule.

- Of course never going into to much details since there are things you couldn’t tell him.

- Hyrule honestly was dreading the day you all would land in his Era. He loves his home but is also very aware of it not being the most…welcoming place.

- So it’s more then surprising to him that there is even more then the glint of familiarity and excitement on your face. Knowing full well what dangers where a head of you, you still were open to exploring his world to the fullest.

- It’s honestly refreshing to see someone love his era as much as he does.

- Another boy that needs hugs, please give him a hug.

- You both cheer each other on though.

- This relationship is just aggressive support between you two and the others.

Four: (I’m actively mixing the Four Sword game and manga just to be clear.)

- Not sure if he would know exactly who you where since during the second adventure your voice and presence bounce between the four of them.

- Yet I also feel like he took after you because he was a child in his first adventure, which worries you a lot. Since you did have choice words for Vaati.

- The first to realize was Vio then it went Blue, Red and Green. Despite being in the same head it was just a theory they had over all. They all had their own ways of confirming it.

- Vio noticed the small things you do around Four. Like not stepping on their shadow, and covering Four when things got chaotic in their head. Small references here and there. When the two of you are alone he almost quizzes you about things. Just to see how much you know and to see if your telling the true or not.

- Blue recognize your mannerisms being something he picked up on during the first and second adventure. Only vaguely since again he was a child / there was only a small part only with him. Your fighting banter when your in battle made you see where Blue got his colorful language from…

- Your comfort was what clued Red in. He remembers your presence more clearly then the others from the first and second adventure. It was a comforting (yet chaotic) presence in their adventures that he latched on to. More so from his first adventure since as a kid he made an imaginary friend to process the fact he could sense and hear your presence. When you came back in the second time around it felt so natural for Red to have you there and really helped make him go forward through his small journey.

- For Green? It was a lot of things but when he see’s you treating each color differently when they are in charged. It’s a refreshing sight to be honest. He just enjoys hearing and seeing that his brothers had someone to confide in. Even when they switch who is in control you some how could tell and spoke to them accordingly.

- They were all some what surprise that none of the others picked up on your treatment of him swapping so much. Yet their also glad because their not ready to reveal themselves quiet yet.

- As Four or as you nicknamed him ‘Rainbow’ the two of you tend to sick together when the world’s shift around. Since his body needs more time to recover.

- You two are another pair that cheers each other on when the moral is low.

- He introduces you to the Minish! Getting you a jabber nut so you can speak to them too. You can’t shrink down to properly talk to them so this was the next best thing.

- The four of them makes you a dagger to bring home to remember him by, there’s a kin stone imbedded where the blade meets the hilt.

Wind: (hello self projection my dear friend)

- Wind didn’t recognize you ether at first, yet he didn’t even blink when you join everyone. He was fully on board with getting a new member and is easiest the most opened.

- It was when you two are alone together that something clicked in his head. You see during the Wind Waker he was alone most of the time when he was on land. So he had to face a lot by himself.

- Having you was reassuring to him when facing some of the monsters alone, especially with the puppet ganon fight. The two of you both agree that it was creepy.

- CHAOTIC SIBLINGS PART 2… well kinda

- Wind is a lot more mature then you realized but you two still have those moments.

- You, Aryll and Grandma get along too! So he and his family basically sees you and the chain as family.

- Pranking buddies! You’re targets would never know. Mostly because your covering up for him. You two team up with Four and Wild so the pranks can get chaotic at times.

- No matter what age you are compare to him and if your ok with it he does like platonic physical affection. Your going to be trading off with Warriors a lot of the time for cuddles or it’s the three of you together.

- You teaching him our worlds sea shanties and him teaching you his? Heck yeah! Even making up songs with the others is something on the table and in the works which is nice.

- It’s another thing to bring back home thats personalized!

Honestly since I’ve written all of this down I want to write the fic more. Though I’ll probably not only because idk if people would even read it lol. So it will just be a bunch of head canons. Anyway rambling is done.

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Unlikely friends: Imagine being Toph’s cousin and befriending Azula, much to the gang’s horror and confusion as it starts to become something more...

Note: The is loosely based on the comic the search which takes place after the tv show ended

Part two here

part three here

Your pov

You’d never been exposed to Azula much. Of course you knew who she was, everyone in the four nations did, but you’d never met her face to face. You only joined the gang after Zuko was firelord and so the first time you met her was when Zuko recruited her to help find his mother.

You were at the royal palace when Zuko revealed his sister would be coming on the trip with the rest of you. The others all gasped as a girl appeared beside Zuko but you just blinked confused. The girl in front of you was your age, average to small height and honestly just looked tired and worn down. You’d heard Azula had been locked up for a year due to her mental health difficulties and you couldn’t understand how the others didn’t see this all over her.

Zuko noticed you staring at Azula and realised you’d never met before. “Ow you don’t know each other....y/n this is Azula, Azula this is y/n Toph’s cousin”. “Hmmm a Beifong so not a peasant but earth kingdom scum is still earth kingdom scum” Azula replied glancing over you. “Azula!” Zuko snapped but you just shrugged “it’s fine, nice to meet you Azula”. Azula blinked at you confused at the notion any one of her brother’s friends would ever be pleased to see her. She stared at you before moving past you. “Sorry she’s....like that” Zuko commented and you smiled “no need to apologise, i’m sure after everything she’s been through this is hard for her, tracking your mother down...I bet she’s very nervous to be seeing her again, that’s probably why she’s lashing out”. Zuko frowned “I guess, I hadn’t thought of it that way...”.

Throughout the trip you had more patience with Azula than the others because you empathised with her. Yes, she was rude and snarky but you could tell she was only doing that to get a reaction out of the people she knew hated her. You’d grown up with difficult people who liked to annoy an reaction out of you (your cousin was Toph freaking Beifong) and so you knew they usually did it when they didn’t feel welcome or good about themselves. So you never responded to Azula’s quips about you or retaliated in any way and slowly she stopped. Soon you noticed you were the only one in the group who Azula didn’t rush to attack. She largely acted like you weren’t there but you took that as a good sign. If it was just the two of you she seemed more relaxed, less guarded and you were glad you had that effect on her. You wanted her to know not everyone hated her and apparently she did. 

Obviously however Azula couldn’t just be alone with you the whole trip. She was surrounded by the gang who rightfully mistrusted and intensely disliked her. It was a stressful environment and you saw its growing mark on Azula each day...

You usually took the main night watch as you didn’t need as much sleep as the others and you’d noticed while everyone else slept soundly Azula would often jerk and mutter in her sleep endlessly. One night it was particularly bad. Azula curled up into herself and her mutterings sounded more like whimpers. You tried to ignore it and just focus on your book but after a while you couldn’t. So you approached her slowly and realised she must be having a particularly bad nightmare. Azula” you called trying to wake her up. When the girl didn’t respond you walked closer and knelt down beside her “Azula?” you called shaking her slightly. Azula jolted awake suddenly, sitting up so fast she almost headbutted you. She flinched away from you, fire at her fingertips before she blinked “ow it’s just you, what were you doing leaning over me?”. “You were having a nightmare I was trying to wake you” you replied and Azula glared “impossible nightmares are for weak people and children”. You laughed ��no they’re not! Everyone gets nightmares, it’s not something you can control and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re weak”. Azula huffed sitting up and pulled her legs into her chest “well either way I wasn’t having one okay?”. You nodded your head raising your hands in surrender “fine”. Silence settled and you looked at her “well i’m going to go sit back by the fire, you can join me if you want. It’d be nice to have some company”. Azula huffed “no thank you” she said sarcastically and you shrugged “suit yourself but the invite is there”.

You sat down by the fire and returned to your book. You heard Azula shuffling around and after a few minutes saw her stand up and head towards you. You pretended not to notice as Azula got closer and only looked up when she reached the campfire. “Since you rudely woke me up and I can’t get back to sleep I’ve decided to sit here, there’s no point just laying on the floor”. You nodded your head “that makes sense” and smiled slightly. Azula looked down embarrassed but seemed grateful you didn’t push it. You sat in comfortable silence, only talking fleetingly and it was calm and neutral. Azula looked the most relaxed and normal you’d ever seen her and sure enough she soon fell back to sleep. You smiled and grabbed a blanket laying it over her. She may be difficult but difficult people were that way because they were hurting. You could sense that in Azula and didn’t want to cause her any more harm. You thought Azula could sense your intentions to her were different than the other’s and that’s why she behaved differently with you. Every time you interacted you saw more of Azula, the healthy happier Azula, but all the walls went back up as soon as the others were around. It upset you Azula didn’t feel comfortable with the others but at least feeling comfortable with one person was a start.

3 days later

You were finally only one day away from reaching the village Zuko’s mom was in and you all sat around discussing what to do next. Well apart from Azula, she was always made to stand away when you discussed plans, nobody forced her to but she felt unwelcomed so would usually go sulk out of earshot. It was decided you’d make the journey the next morning rather than arriving in the middle of the night. You nodded along with the plans before standing up and heading off in Azula’s direction “okay i’ll go let her know”. “Let who know?” Katara asked and you paused “Azula, she doesn’t know the plan”. “So?” Zuko asked and you hesitated “well shouldn’t we tell her....i mean she’s a part of the group now, she deserves to know what we’re dragging her into”. Aang nodded, Toph and Sokka shrugged but Katara and Zuko didn’t look convinced. “Fine i guess” Zuko shrugged and you nodded, going to get Azula from her stance by the woods. The gang all watching on confused. 

The next day

You reached Ursa’s village the next day and found her home easily. She was thrilled to see her children again and the town threw a large party to celebrate the return of Ursa’s son the fire lord. You all attended and the whole gang looked so happy to finally be off the road and in a house, Zuko especially was in high spirits. He was beaming, a grin spread from ear to ear and you smiled to see he hadn’t left his mother’s side since he’d found her again. You saw Zuko’s family, his mom, new little sister Kiyi and stepdad all sat together and paused....they looked like a perfect happy family but someone was missing. You glanced around and saw Azula was outside, as far away from the happy occasion as she could get and was staring intensely at the surrounding scenery. You made your way outside and Azula jumped. “Only me” you said holding up a hand and Azula lowered her hands but her shoulders were still tensed “what do you want?”. “Nothing” you shrugged “just wanted to see if you were okay”. “Of course i’m okay” Azula snapped and you frowned. Over the period you’d spent travelling you’d seen Azula improve, she was less jumpy and agitated but the second you’d reached her mother’s town she was right back at square one. Her mother had been the reason for her initial mental breakdown and you were worried something like this could set her over the edge again. You knew Azula wasn’t one for small talk but wanted her to feel less alone so started talking to her. “You know I haven’t seen my family in 5 years?”. Azula didn’t attack you so you carried on. “They sent me to go live with Toph’s parents when I was 12 and I haven’t seen them since. To be honest it wasn’t a big move I was at Toph’s all the time but still to make it permanent... My father...he worked a lot so I never saw him even when I was home but as for my other family. My mom and I never saw eye to eye on anything, she hated all my decisions and honestly I think she was glad when I left...it gave her more time to focus on my brothers. Her favourites, she’s always preferred my brothers to me just because they’ll carry on the name or whatever”. You trailed off and Azula raised an eyebrow “are you actually trying to bond with me over mommy issues?”. You paused and rushed to explain you weren’t trying anything when you saw Azula had a slight smirk on her face and so you smiled. “Why not?” you asked “my point is, my parents were never there for me and I turned out fine! They only have as much power over you as you let them. Azula tutted “you should save the philosophy for Aang y/n”. You smiled “I probably should but all i’m saying is you’re not a product of what they’ve done to you unless you let yourself be, unless you hold onto that anger. I’ve forgiven my mother and father for how they treated me”. Azula spun on you and you jumped to see how angry she suddenly looked. “You expect me to believe after all she did to you, you forgave her? How stupid do you think I am?”. “I have” you said confused “I hold no anger towards my mother anymore”. “Well you should” Azula commented “she doesn’t deserve anything less”. You shrugged “maybe so but that anger was causing me way more harm than it was her”. Azula didn’t respond and you frowned. “I haven’t forgotten what she...what all my family did to me and I haven’t let them off for it, I set boundaries and refuse to let them treat me that way anymore...but I also don’t fixate over what happened, it happened, it was in the past and that’s where it should stay...that’s where I make it stay, I won’t let it take up any more of my time”. Silence settled and as time stretched on you stopped expecting a reply. That was fine with you, you just hoped any part of what you’d said had made Azula feel a little better. “I’m cold so i’m going to head back inside, you could come with me? I hate entering parties alone” you tried to joke but Azula didn’t glance at you. You shrugged and started back inside when Azula sighed and appeared beside you “come on then, if I must hold your hand with everything”. You grinned as you realised this was Azula’s way of saying she’d come back to the party with you. “But we’re getting food” Azula told you “i’m starving, that food Sokka hands out is awful”. You grinned as you walked in together “blubbered seal jerky, it is awful but it does sustain you”, Azula wrinkled her nose in disgust and you laughed. “I never figured you a picky eater”. “I’m not” Azula said defiantly “but i refuse to eat any animal’s blubber” she commented piling a plate with food. Not wanting to make her eat alone you copied her and filled a plate too. You found a table near the outskirts of the party and sat down together. Azula tucked into her food and you were surprised at her appetite though you knew you shouldn’t be. The girl was a machine of muscle and strength, of course she ate a lot. Still you watched impressed as Azula cleared her plate "you were hungry" you grinned and Azula smirked "why do you never believe me?". "I don’t know maybe your whole history with manipulation?". Azula’s smirk vanished and you worried you’d gone too far when she laughed. It was odd seeing her face contort into a laugh and her shoulders shake but a good weird. You liked seeing it and felt very proud you’d made the fearsome and dreadful Azula laugh. So proud you didn’t even notice that your and Azula’s table was getting attention.

Ursa’s POV

Ursa’s head shot up as she heard a vaguely familiar but sorely missed sound and her eyes landed on Azula almost instantly. Azula was laughing! She was smiling at a friend and appeared happy. Joy filled Ursa’s heart and she felt her eyes tear up to see her daughter happy. "Mother?" Zuko asked and she jumped. "Are you okay?" Zuko asked and she nodded "it’s just your sister...". "What has she done now?" Zuko snapped and Ursa shook her head "nothing! I just, i know i showed favourites and i always regretted leaving you both, i worried it would impact you both beyond repair especially Azula but then i saw her smiling...". Zuko followed his mothers gaze not believing her until he saw Azula beside you. His mother was right, Azula was actually smiling...well her form of a smile which was more of an upturned lip but still for Azula that was insane. "Who is her friend?" Ursa asked "she seems lovely". "Y/n" Zuko said confused "i didn’t even know they were friends" he was ashamed to admit. Ursa noticed and patted his back "i know things can’t have been easy and i’m sorry for my part in that but things can only get better now, for all of us" she said glancing back to Azula and Zuko nodded "apparently so".

Your POV

After the party was finished you were heading to your shared room with Toph when Katara appeared "y/n can we talk?". You shrugged and motioned for her to follow you into the room. She did and once inside you turned to her expectantly. "What are you doing are you insane!" she burst. You blinked "come again?". "Since when are you friends with Azula! Why would you want to be? What is wrong with you?". You took in the comments and breathed "erm...i guess we’ve become friends over the journey, i have spent the most time with her, i didn’t try to become friends with her i just talked to her and treated her like a human and it kind of just happened. As for what’s wrong with me....how long have you got?". Toph laughed and Katara glared "y/n this isn’t funny, don’t you remember all she’s done!". You rolled your eyes "ow yeah all water under the bridge...of course i haven’t forgotten what she's done but i have seen enough of her to know she’s just as broken as Zuko, she’s human Katara and she deserves the decency of being treated like one". Katara tutted "i don’t remember seeing an inch of humanity in her". "Well i’m sure if you start really looking at her you'll find it" you said sharply "now I’m going to bed so goodnight" and you turned away from the water bender letting her know this conversation was over.

Mai’s POV After Ursa had been found everyone returned to the fire nation to celebrate. Zuko was the happiest Mai had ever seen him but he wasn’t the only one who returned from the journey oddly happy. Thanks to her help Azula hadn’t been locked back up upon her return and she was freely roaming the palace. Old habits die hard and Mai found herself watching the girl who’d tormented her through her childhood and was surprised by what she saw. Azula had made a friend and one that actually seemed to genuinely like her judging by your smile. "So...Azula and y/n seem to get on" Mai commented and Zuko nodded amazed that this friendship had formed and that Azula was here at the party at all. He figured knowing their mother would be here she’d have run and hidden but here she was. "They seem quite close" Mai carried on "are they...is it more than a friendship?". Zuko paused "what?". Ty lee nodded "i was thinking the same thing, notice how Azula hardly looks away from her?". Mai nodded and Zuko frowned, clearly lost in the conversation. "I don’t know...i don’t think so" he babbled. Mai rolled her eyes at how clueless Zuko was "well is y/n or has y/n ever dated anyone to your knowledge". "No..." Zuko frowned. "They’re so dating" Ty lee grinned and Zuko frowned "are you sure? I mean my sister...date anyone?". Mai shook her head "you know she is a human being right Zuko? And an attractive one at that, i wouldn’t be surprised if she and y/n kindled something it's actually rather...sweet".

 Azula’s POV

Azula had only agreed to come to this party because you were going to be here and also because she’d been assured her mother wouldn’t try anything with her. Still Azula had been apprehensive to attend and the second you left her side her suspicions were confirmed. She was ambushed.  "Sooooo" Azula heard and turned to see an old friend? Ex friend? She still wasn’t sure but either way there was Ty lee grinning her. "Ty lee" she nodded at her curtly. "It’s good to see you" Ty lee smiled "i noticed you and y/n seem close". Azula raised an eyebrow, Ty lee was never good at being subtle and clearly meant something more with those words. "If you’re worried she’s beating you in the rankings of friendship you needn’t worry, you dropped right out of there the minute you betrayed me". Ty lee paused and Azula smirked "your face, you always were too easy to fool". Ty lee laughed nervously, Azula knew how to joke now?  "But seriously what’s up with you and y/n? Is it friends....is it more?". Azula paused "more?". "Well you guys just seemed very close" Ty lee shrugged "almost couple-y". Azula paused, this was a new perspective for her, she hadn’t even thought about her friendship with you or that it could be something more....now the idea was there she realised it wasn’t such a bad one.  She liked you, she thought you were nice to be around and funny. Not to mention you were beautiful and athletic. Azula thought it over while Ty lee almost burst. "So?" Ty lee finally asked and Azula paused. She didn’t want Ty lee to go around telling people before she even knew what she wanted so she shook her head "me and y/n are just friends". Ty lee looked disappointed "ow...well i’m still glad you’ve got such a good friend, you look a lot happier than i’ve ever seen you" Ty lee smiled and Azula realised she was. Even here at the palace where she had so many bad memories it wasn’t as bad anymore. Azula suspected a lot of that was because of you and felt a blush rise to her cheeks. How hadn’t she worked this out sooner? 

A few days later

All good things had to come to an end. With the mission a success the avatar and all his friends were leaving the fire nation soon and Azula knew you were planning on leaving too. You were going to help the little earth bender with her school. Azula knew Toph was the person you cared most about in the world so of course you’d want to go with her but part of her wished you wouldn’t. She wished you had nothing to pull you away from her.

She’d heard from Zuko you were leaving soon and so she debated back and forth if she should come see you to say goodbye or just let you go. As the time trickled away and the day of your departure arrived she decided to just swallow her pride and come and find you. She found you in your room in the palace doing some very late packing. You had apparently just finished as she found you lining up your luggage for the trip. “Azula” you said happily spotting her and she couldn’t help but smile “hi y/n”. “Hello” you smiled “how are you?”. “I’m good, and you?”. “Great” you smiled “we’re all set to leave soon! I can’t wait to get home”. Azula nodded “I can imagine” and stared at the floor. “Is everything okay?” you asked and Azula tensed. “Everything’s fine I just wanted to say goodbye”  Azula shrugged meeting your eye and smiling slightly. She thought she’d been pretty convincing but apparently not.

Your POV

"Azula what’s wrong? I can tell somethings bothering you" you said frowning and came to stand closer to her. You could tell she was nervous, something you’d rarely seen on the firebender’s face. "I...i was just wondering when you were coming to the fire nation again?". You paused "well i’m not sure honestly, i guess whenever the gang comes again, why have you got a big festival coming up or something?". Azula shook her head "no we don’t...". She sounded disappointed and an idea formed in your head, did Azula not want you to go? "The gang might be too busy to just swing by but that doesn’t mean i can’t" you said testing the water and saw Azula’s eyes widen and her cheeks flush slightly. "I think that would be nice" she said looking down and you smiled softly. Azula wanted you around! "Yeah?" you asked and Azula nodded "i guess i’ve become...accustomed to your presence" she said.

You almost laughed that this was what Azula thought was an honest compliment. No, Azula could do better than that so you prompted her.

"Accustomed to my presence?" you asked raising an eyebrow and Azula searched for words before sighing. "I like being around you" she shrugged going red "so you coming back to the fire nation wouldn’t be a bad thing i guess". You grinned "you’d cope with that idea?". Azula nodded her head still blushing "i would". You laughed and couldn’t stop smiling at Azula’s blush. "Well in that case i’d be more than happy to have regular visits, not to mention you can come visit me and Toph at her school anytime you want". "I can?" Azula asked and you nodded "of course! You think i’d leave you all alone with these firebenders and no escape route". Azula smiled at you, a genuine happy smile and nodded her head "that’s...thank you, i’m sure i’ll be taking you up on that offer frequently". "As much as you want" you said taking her hand "i mean it Azula, even if it’s just for a few hours or a night, you’re always welcome with me". Azula stared at you and wondered again how she hadn’t realised she liked you before. It was so obvious to her now, she only hoped it wasn’t so obvious to you but judging by the fact she had a permanent blush this whole time she wasn’t too sure about that. Azula nodded "thank you y/n" and you smiled "no problem". You carried on looking at her before blushing at your close proximity and stepped away. "So i best be going but expect many letters". Azula chucked and you shrugged "what? I’m not kidding? I love writing letters, you will receive many from me, once a day if you’re lucky". Azula smiled "i promise to reply to every single one" and you grinned "you better". You started towards the door and stopped to look back at her. "I’ve really enjoyed our time together and I just wanted you to know...i think you’re pretty amazing”. Azula blushed "thank you....you’re also very good". You chuckled at her awkward reply and smiled "all i meant was, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough, from where i’m standing...that’s not the case at all, in any way". Azula’s face turned an even deeper shade of red and you smiled. "Anyway i’ll go now, bye Azula". "Bye y/n" she managed and with a last smile you were gone. Azula immediately felt a pang of loneliness but then thought of what you’d do. She took a few deep breaths and repeated what you’d told her. She was good enough, she was more than good enough, she didn’t need to be insecure or cruel. She opened her eyes, let out a sigh and turned to her daily tasks. She'd see you again soon enough and only 13 hours until your promised daily letter, Azula could wait that long.

____

I absolutely love this idea of Azula finding someone she can be open and vulnerable with and might make this into a 3 part series??

[elizabethemerald]

Fall Anniversary at the Soltryce Academy

Caleb walked into his classroom at the Soltryce Academy with the immediate instinct that something was wrong. He had been teaching Transmutation theory and application in this same class room for the past twenty years, so anything that seemed different set off alarms in his head. 

He mentally checked the wards on the class room and found them intact. There were a few students in their seats, a few more filtering into the lecture hall, by the second. None of them seemed alarmed. Whatever was different today did not appear to be an immediate threat. 

Still just to be safe he subtly cast Detect Magic as he set his bag down and took off his coat. Immediately a few points were highlighted in his mind. Of course his own magical items, the amber around his neck and the amulet beside it, the ring on his finger, the chalk he had enchanted to help him lecture. Nothing off there. 

There were a few points of magic around the rest of the room, each quickly analyzed and dismissed. Transmutation magic on a small pile of coins near the wall, a low level student’s practice project. Abjuration magic in the wards along the walls. Divination magic in a button, another spying device Astrid had tried to sneak into his class room to keep him from teaching against the school’s policies. 

It was the illusion spells that caught his attention. A few of the students were covered in the same, linked illusion. Their appearance normal enough to blend in, but also entirely too normal for a real student. And there, a student he didn’t recognize even with his keen mind, covered in an illusion spell. Several other magical objects of varying power, hidden under the spell. The Vestige appeared to be within its pocket dimension, so at least they hadn’t brought a weapon onto campus. 

After setting down his things and greeting his class he squeezed past a few of the students to grab Astrid’s enchanted button. He quickly dispelled it and slipped it into an envelope to return to her later. As he returned to the front he gave the cat sitting on his desk a brief scratch. 

“Hello Jester.” He said. Of course he didn’t need Detect Magic telling him of the cat’s aura of Transmutation to know his friend. She was bright blue after all and staring at him far more smugly than even a magic fey cat would. 

“Now class, I know we were discussing transmutation principles as applied to effecting the elements around you, but I am afraid that lesson will have to be postponed. It would seem that it is the anniversary of the Mighty Nein getting together and they have decided to invite themselves to my class.”

There was a muttering around the class room as the students looked at each other, before one of them near the front stood up, the illusion dropping off her form as she did so. 

“I told you he wouldn’t fall for it!” Veth said in her high voice, She looked mostly unchanged from when they first brought her back to her proper body. A few more laugh lines, but nothing more to show the passing two decades. “Lebby, is an amazing wizard, he wouldn’t fall for something simple like that. You students better appreciate the skill of your teacher.”

Caleb smiled fondly as Veth walked up to the front to give him a hug. Interspersed through the seats a few more illusion spells dropped. A half elven man walked up from the front row and kissed him on the cheek. Essek’s own illusion lasting even as he dismissed the Seeming on Kingsley and Yasha. 

“How did they rope you into this?” Caleb whispered to Essek. 

“Oh you know I can’t resist a practical joke.” Essek maintained his deadpan delivery for only a few seconds before a small smile graced his lips. Caleb knew quite well that Essek looked as ageless as ever, under his illusion. His elven blood would keep him looking much the same for the next few centuries. Caleb returned the kiss, to the muttering of his students. They weren’t ever a 100% sure who Caleb’s rotating cast of elven boyfriends were, and Caleb was more than happy to keep them in the dark. 

“Well you can’t fault us for trying!” Kingsley said. They were wearing a scandalously low cut shirt, a pair of plain black pants, and a pair of thigh high boots. His purple hair was fading to a less vibrant shade just a bit near his ears and he had a larger collection of scars, as one would expect from years of piracy and being a bloodhunter. They were also wearing their sword much to Caleb’s disapproval, which was apparently not magical. 

“You can’t expect me to hide this glorious look without magic though can you?” He said, sliding his hands down to his hips then back up his torso. Then he grabbed Caleb’s chin and kissed him full on the mouth, with tongue for several seconds, while his students lost their collective minds. Caleb smiled against Kingsley’s lips right before the tiefling stepped back. He was sure the rumor mill of the school would go wild about that for a few weeks. He wished he could see the look on Master Beck’s face when the news came across her desk. “Here’s to another twenty years, magic man.”

Yasha and Caduceus walked up next, each giving Caleb a tight hug. These two showed their age the least of the non elven members of the Nine. Cad could have been just stepping out of the temple doors in the Blooming Grove, saying that he had only three cups, if it weren’t for the increased presence of lichens and mosses of all kinds on his clothes and armor. Caleb was fairly certain there was an actual bird’s nest in his pink hair. Yasha of course looked as badass and muscular as she had when they first found her. Her hair was completely white, done up in an ornate braid. Home life seemed to suit her well, she looked genuinely happy and relaxed like she certainly hadn’t when they had first gotten together. 

Fjord’s spell dropped as well. The half orc’s hair had large stripes of gray in it, he had crows feet at the corners of his eyes, and his salt and pepper beard had significantly more salt to it now. He still looked good, life at sea, despite its hardships, keeping him fit. He laughed at something over Caleb’s shoulder as he approached and he found himself lifted bodily into the air by a pair of muscular blue arms. 

Jester having dropped her polymorph spun him around briefly in the hug before setting him back on his feet. She would never fail to look divine. Her horns now curling in on themselves, almost like her mother’s had when they first met her. Her hair is pulled back into a pony tail, poofing out behind her head from the salt air. Her sailing days were certainly not hurting her in anyway. Her smile was still just as wide, her eyes just as sharp, and her arms just as strong, if not more so. 

“Happy anniversary Caleb! Twenty years ago you were a stinky wizard. Now you are here teaching!” Jester’s happiness in her voice carried to every corner of the lecture hall. 

“What happened to our plan of drinks in Nicodranas this evening?”

“I just couldn’t wait Cay-leb.” She pouted. “Fjord and I got into port early, and I was so bored.”

Caleb smiled at her, then looked around at the rest of the Nein, pretending to count. 

“We appear to be one short. Where is my sister? Couldn’t drag her away from the Cobalt training pit? Or did she get lost in a book like some kind of nerd?” Caleb said with a smirk.

“Mother fucker!” 

He looked up towards the voice above him, just in time to watch Beauregard drop from the ceiling, to land on his desk with a perfect three point landing. She hopped off the desk and punched his arm, before also grabbing him in a tight hug. 

“I am not a nerd, Widogast!” She snapped, a wide grin on her face. 

“Beauregard, please do not land on my desk. It was a gift and I don’t think it could bare too many impacts like that.” He stopped to look up at the vaulted ceilings of the class room. “Also, how did you get up there?”

If she had been invisible she would have tripped the wards on the class room. And if she had gone in the brief break between classes one of the early students would have noticed her and caused a stir. 

Beau took her turn to smirk. 

“I have been waiting up there for four hours so we could surprise you. It’s surprisingly comfortable. I could have gone another couple of hours without breaking a sweat.” She paused to flex, causing several students, and Yasha to blush at her muscles. 

Beauregard’s monk training meant that she looked like she hadn’t aged a day since Aeor. And she could still easily out fight everyone else in the room if she wanted to. She was also the one member of the Nein that Caleb saw the most frequently. Their work to root out corruption among the Cerberus Assembly, and other bodies of power in the Empire often kept them up together late into the night, until Yasha would intervene and throw her wife over her shoulder to carry her to bed. 

“Can I finish the lesson, or should we depart immediately?” Caleb asked, already guessing the answer. 

“Cayyyllleeeb.” Jester groaned, pulling at her face. “I’m sooooo bored. I want to drink and party already!”

Caleb turned back to his class of students. He was sure most of them had heard rumors about Professor Widogast and the wild adventures he got up to with the Mighty Nein back when they first got together. He wasn’t sure how much they actually believed, but he was sure that even the most widely blown out of proportion tale didn’t even begin to cover the truth of what they had done together. 

“In honor of the anniversary of this group of arschlochs finding each other, consider this to be a free day. Keep up on your readings, and if you have any questions I will be at my regular office hours tomorrow morning.” 

The students immediately started buzzing as they stood and packed. No doubt during tomorrow’s class he would have to field a whole host of questions about the Nein, and that was just the way he liked it. The day after the anniversary was the one day he would talk about what his family had done. As the class filtered out, with many a lingering glance thrown at the colorful group at the front, Caleb turned to Essek, setting the envelope with Astrid’s button in it on the table top to deal with later. 

“Would you like to teleport us to the beach, or shall I?”

Essek put up both hands. 

“I already used my spell slots getting us all back together again. You can bring us to the coast.” Essek said, his smile a mix between smug and fond. 

Caleb rolled his eyes before pulling him into a soft kiss. Then he turned to address the rest of the Nein. The family he had made for himself. 

“Are we ready?” After a series of nods, he pulled an ancient clay turtle from his pocket and gave it a squeeze. “Then let’s go!”

And they were off, to a night of drinks and celebration and stories told, and memories shared. And of course many toasts, “To another twenty years.”

[unbreathable]

ride home  / S. Rogers

Summary : As a girl you were always told to never accept a ride from unknown men. You knew what could happen, you knew the dangers and heck, you`ve seen how it ruined some girls. But hey, he`s your teacher, nothing could happen. Right?

Pairing : Dark(soft)!teacher Steve Rogers x female Reader

Before you read, please understand that this is intended to be a dark fic. There will be noncon elements, rape, violence, manipulation and so much more. If you find any of these disturbing, please click away. 18+ only.

Warnings for this one shot : manipulation, noncon elements, rape, use of drugs, lost of virginity. This is some kind of au and Steve might be out of character a little.

Word count : 3.319

Credit : for the gif I used, the credit goes to its rightful creator.

Note : Don’t expect this to be any good. I came up with this over the course of a few hours and I’m still learning how to write one shots, as I find it much easier to write a series. Also I still suck at writing “smut”. I’m trying to perfect it, tho. Promise. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this one shot till my mind would be satisfied with the way the next chapter of “The Magpie” turned out and would let me post it. :)) Also, please excuse any mistakes I made. Have a great day you guys!

                   Also, to all the writers from this platform : thank you !

Girl found wondering around without any memory of the last few days, claims she had been abducted and raped...

Your eyes narrowed as you stared at the case which has been all over the news for the past week. It was quite predictable, really. Young girl, too drunk for her own good woke up by herself in the middle of nowhere. You sighed. In a city as big as New York, cases like this happened almost every other day, but there was always something left behind. Fight marks, blood, hair. Anything that could help the police find the person who did it. This time though, there was nothing.

The poor girl. You couldn`t help but pity her. She must be terrified. All alone against a world that knows nothing better than to judge. You pinched your nose in exasperation.

Cases like this, it`s what made you choose to study law. You wanted to be able to help other women. To offer them a chance at justice. No one deserved to be told that it was their own fault for wondering alone at night or for wearing something more showing. No girl should feel like the law protects only the male population...

“ And what`s your opinion on this matter, miss I`m too busy scrolling on my phone to pay attention to class?”

You cursed in your head, as you put your phone away and lifted your eyes to meet your teacher.

Steve Rogers. America`s hero, savior of the world and an actual pain in your ass, was looking at you expectantly. You held his gaze as you forced your lips to form some kind of smile. Something about him always put you on edge and the way his eyes darkened as he stared at you, didn`t exactly help ease the feeling.

“I`m sorry, I was distracted.” you murmured, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he caught you unprepared. ”If you would be so kind...”

You looked at him as you raised one eyebrow. It was always like this. No matter what you did he`d always find something to pick at you. At first you took it as a form of banter between a teacher and his students, but with time it became clearly that he had a problem with you. Your grades didn`t reflect the hard work you always put in. Your extra work wouldn`t be considered. Every time you would as much as look at your watch he`d find something to jab at you. He would also have something to say about every paper you handed him. It was a miracle you even made the grade for his class.

You cringed as you remembered the comments he would make about your life outside his class. You seemed to bump into him on a daily. There was also something, in the way he watched your every move, that it made the hair at the back of your neck stay high on alert. You really couldn`t understand what you`ve done that America`s sweetheart despised you that much.

”The women rights...” he smirked down at you.

“Oh, yes. I strongly believe that women should have got their rights the same time men did.” you smiled when you realized that he wanted to add something else. “I mean we know that every society of this world was built around androcentrism, but if we`re real the women were the ones that kept everything from falling apart.” you drew in a short breath. “Oh, and I believe that 1920 was a bit late for our women to get their rights, since women all around the world fought for it since the 18th century.”

You smirked, as for once in your life the bell rang exactly when you needed it. Forcing a smile his way, you stood up gathering your notebooks. You were quite proud of yourself, not because your answer was the desired one, but because you got on professor Rogers nerves. While he didn`t seem to have a problem with women and feminists in general, he sure had a problem with the way you choose to speak on the matter. From the corner of your eye you saw his jaw twitch.

At first you were afraid to even say your opinion lest you would upset him, but now you enjoyed to see that vein on his forehead nearly pop. You held back a giggle. Oh well, at least you won`t have to see him for the next few weeks.

“Professor!” you rolled your eyes when you herd your bestfriend use her sweet voice. “I was wondering if you`d like to come to our party tonight.”

You stood straight, narrowing your eyes at the one that has been your friend since the first day you came to the city. What the hell was happening. You knew she had a crush on him, everyone did, but she wasn`t the one to just go and ask someone out, especially not him. You watched her in confusion as professor Rogers made his way to the front of the class.

“You know, with everything happening right now, the uni council would let us hold the party only if there was someone that could take care of us.”

“Oh!” you supposed that made sense, but even so why did it have to be him.

“Of course professor Barnes already said that he`ll be there, but we`d be thankful if you came too. Please!” your friend bated her eyelashes at him as you rolled your eyes.

Professor Rogers had a pleased smile as he moved his eyes from her to you. You held his gaze, even going as far as raising one eyebrow at him. He blinked, before turning his head towards the rest of the class.

“Since you asked so nicely.” he said after a short moment dismissively. ”`I`ll be there.”

There was something sinister in his eyes. Something that you failed to see as you made your way out of the lecture class.

“I can`t believe you invited him!” you playfully jabbed your friend in the shoulder as she walked next to you.

“Oh, come on! It’s just tonight, and I bet he won’t be able to stay up that late since he’s like... the same age as history?” she bit back a laugh, as she took your hand. “It will be fun, you`ll see.”

You hoped she was right since you were never a big fan of parties of any kind.

                                       _ _ _

This wasn`t fun. Not at all.

You knew you should have stayed home, yet you still wanted to enjoy the last night with your class mates before break. But this wasn`t it. The music was too loud and you couldn`t even hear what some people were saying. Also you`ve never really been a techno fan. The food was crap and you were sure everyone came just because there were free drinks.

It was well past midnight and you have been there since the beginning, but you were already dreading it. You smiled as your only joy came from watching drunk freshmen being rejected by some of your friends. The girls were ruthless and that made you proud.

“Hey girl!” your bestfriend came by your side, holding two glasses in her hands as her body danced along the rhythm of the music. “Look at was professor Rogers sent us.”

Her words were slurred and you could see that she drank already too much. That`s why at first you thought you didn`t hear her right. While it wasn`t unusual for men to send women drinks, getting a drink from your teacher was something you never thought could happen. It was wrong in a way.

“What?” your eyes widened as soon as the word left your mouth.

You eyed the glass she handed you. It seemed to be one of your favorites, and after the sour taste the beer left in your mouth, that would have been like a desert. Still something made you suspicious.

“Come on, take it!”  your friend pressed as she smiled broadly. “He must have realized that he’s been an ass all year and wants to make amends.”

She was giggling as her glossy eyes drifted around the room. She didn`t seem to be able to focus on anything, but somehow her shaky hands found yours and brought the glass you were holding closer to your mouth. You weren`t exactly sure what came over you, but you opened your mouth and let the liquid go down your throat. Involuntarily, your eyes wondered around till you saw the back of your least favorite teacher. He didn`t even seem to care about anything around him as he was engaged into a discussion with professor Barnes. That alone made you feel safe, even though the drink left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You were too quick to judge, you resonated. This was probably his way of saying: “Sorry I tormented you that much.” You suddenly giggled. It was shortly followed by your friend`s laughter. She threw the glass to the side and took your hand leading you to the dancefloor.

You weren`t that much of a dancer. You knew just some basics moves and that was it, but now you didn`t seem to care. You let your body move, and only chuckled when your legs started to feel like jelly. It was a strange feeling. You suddenly felt like were floating.

You furrowed your brows as you started to feel that your body didn`t exactly respond to your impulses. Everything around you happened in slow motion.

You cursed. Just how much did you drink? Moving one hand to your head, you tried to get your senses back, but you found it too hard to do. Your head buzzed. For a second you looked around trying to spot your friend among the sweaty bodies on the dancefloor, but it was like you couldn`t recognize anybody.

Fuck this. You had enough of this party already, and the way you felt made you decide that it was time to go home. You moved between the sea of bodies as fast as you could. Your coat and purse were the only thing you spent more than five minutes looking for, but as you found them you practically run out of there.

The bus stop wasn`t that far, but just the thought that you`ll have to go home by bus, made you want to throw up. You didn`t feel well and there was  dizziness that started to overcome you. As you watched the empty street, you cursed again. Of course you`ll have to wait till the next bus came. Damn it! You should really get your license.

The sound of a engine from behind you, made you turn your head. Your eyes narrowed as you watched the Range Rover slow down and actually stop right next to you. You squinted your eyes, trying to see through the tinted glass, but as a wave of nausea hit you, you moved your head to the side. You didn`t exactly pay attention when one of the windows went down. You didn`t really care. You felt sick, and all you wanted, was to get home.

“ I saw you left the party early.” the deep voice said. “Are you all right kitten?”

You hissed when you heard the voice of the last person you wanted to see right now. What was he even doing here? Your heart skipped a beat as another wave hit. You took a deep breath and tried to steady yourself. Just ignore him and he`ll go away. You didn`t exactly knew why you choose to act like that but there was something in your head that told you it was for the best.

“Come on girl, I have to make sure everyone is safe and sound.” you heard his voice. “If you don`t feel fine, I can take you home.”

The idea of getting home sooner and in a nice car was looking really good right now. But still, you didn`t feel like it was the best for you. You choose to keep quiet for reasons not even you knew. You glossy eyes scanned the schedule of the bus that was right in front of you. Thirty minutes and you`ll go home.

You heard professor Rogers sigh.

“And here I thought you never shut your mouth.” there was a deep chuckle, fallowed by the sound of the engine coming to life. “Look kitten I can either get you home or I`ll go my merry way and let you here all alone... well not quite. But I`m not sure you`d want that kind of company.”

Confusion filled your mind. The sudden move you made to look at him, made you dizzy. You tried to focus your eyes, in time to see him pointing to somewhere behind you. You slowly turned.

A group of guys were eyeing you like a wolf would his prey. Your mouth fell open as they did obscene gestures at you. Your whole body freeze as fear took over you. You knew what could happen. Suddenly you were more sober that ever and as you heard the car start moving, you nearly threw yourself in front of it. On shaky legs you moved towards the door.

“Wait” you find it hard to speak. “Professor, I`m sorry I... please!”

You looked at him with pleading eyes, and didn`t even register the way he smirked as you got into the car. Everything was a haze. You only felt like you could breath when the car started to gain speed. You didn`t even remembered to give him your address or anything, but as the car rolled down various streets you were only thankful you were far away from them.

“It such a crazy world out there” professor Rogers voice made you move your head towards him, but as the fear was gone, you started to feel the dizziness again.

With unfocused eyes you watched him. America`s hero was giving you a ride home for free and you were acting like he was your biggest enemy. What was wrong with you?

“I have to say I`m impressed.” he suddenly said as the car started to slow down. “That was one of the strongest drugs that you drank, and you still have some of your conscious left. The other ones were down after a few minutes.”

You looked at him and simply blinked. You wondered if your mind was playing games with you. Surely, he hadn`t said what you think you heard. You must have imagined everything.

“E... excuse me?” you asked dully.

You drew in a shaky breath as your trembling hand went to the door. He chuckled darkly at your attempts to open it. You wanted to scream but as your movement became slower and slower you found that fear wasn`t enough to fuel your limp body.

The car came to a sudden stop. You closed your eyes as you felt hands pulling you back.

“Now, now honey.” you could feel his breath on the back of your neck. “Don`t waste your energy, you`ll need it.”

You turned your head and watched him through your eyelashes. Something in your head was screaming at you to fight, to run, to get away. You wanted to punch, scratch, hurt him in any way. But your body didn`t listen.

It happened too fast. In a matter of second your dress was ripped to shreds. And your found yourself pressed to the door. He was over you in an instant. Turning your head to the side so that he could stare into your eyes. He had a hungry look on his face. You`ve seen it many times but it never terrified you as much as now.

“Just as pretty as I imagined.” he said in a husky voice.

You squeezed your legs as you felt his hand moving around along your body. He tugged at your bra till the clasps snapped. Your nipples stood erect, you didn`t know if it was from the cold of the car or the heat that was inside you. One of his hands came forward at pinched at your nipples. You made to move, but as sensing your intention he tugged your head back by your hair.

“Don`t you even dare!” he growled as his thumb played with one of your nipples. “I waited a long time for this”.

He leaned forward kissing down your stretched neck. His mouth was hot against your skin. You gasped when you felt his tongue leaving wet traces along your collarbone. He tugged at your hair one more time before his hand went down.

“Always dressing like this world is your own runaway, always thinking that you know it all.” he let out a moan as he squeezed your ass. “Do you know what a face as pretty as yours and an attitude like that do to a man?”

You whimpered. You never meant to catch his attention in that way, you just wanted to feel good about yourself. You wanted to tell him that. To tell him that you were sorry, but your brain didn`t work anymore. There was no reaction even as he spanked you. You felt like you could pass out every second.

“Don`t even think about it!”

You closed your eyes when your panties were soon the same as your other clothes. Slick was going down your legs. Despite everything, you were aroused.

“So fucking wet already. Good girl!” he praised.

You felt his hand descend down to your very core, proding around. You bit your lips as tears filled your eyes.

“How many have been here before?” he gave a low chuckle the same time his fingers pinched your button.

“One?” he mocked as one of his long fingers entered you.

You held back a gasp. Non, no, no. This wasn`t happening. Nobody touched you like that before. Nobody even came close to it. That`s not how you wanted it not how you dreamt it would happen. You wanted dinner, roses, a man you loved... not him.

“Two?” he continued as another finger stretched you.

You felt your walls clench around his fingers, as he moved them in and out ou you, everything while his thumb circled your most sensitive part.

“Fuck... you`re tight!” his breath was ragged, it was like he couldn`t get enough.

There was a sudden pause. In a quick move you found yourself pressed to the door of the car, as he angled your body to have better access to your burning core. He drew in a breath.

“A virgin.” he moaned.

You closed your eyes as you herd him playing at his clothes. The sudden hardness you felt proding around your core, made you shiver. You didn`t dare to look back and see it. You were scared. It seemed too big. You were afraid it would split you in a half.

You screamed when he entered you. The pain blurred your vision. Your whole body ached and tears fell down your cheeks. No, no, no. You bit back a moan of pain when he started to move, not caring about you at all. His moves were rough, punishing.

“Shhh doll, I`ll take care of you.” he rasped. “You must have waited so long for this... saving yourself for me.”

Your body moved in rhythm with his. His cock dragged along your walls as every move sent a wave of pain through you. Soon though, you found the pain disappeared. A strange feeling took over you. It was almost pleasurable. You guessed you would have enjoyed it under any other circumstances. But now? Now you were just tired.

As you passed out, you failed to notice the feeling of something warm flowing through you.

                                          _ _ _

Steve smiled down at your sleeping form. So pretty, even after being used like that. You had a glow. Too bad you might not remember anything that happened. He chuckled. It`s a  good thing he planned to keep you. He`ll make sure you`ll never forget him.

You were his girl after all. The only reason he took that shitty job as a teacher.

[shyestofhearts]

Hi Shy~

Sooo, I have this headcanon that Damian is like this wonderful child prodigy genius. Like, super smart. So smart, that when Bruce tries to enroll him in Gotham academy, they tell him that Damian has tests for college level. Which, Damian just rolls his eyes at, because duh. After discussing it with professionals and yada yada, Damian gets enrolled into college. He’s like, twelve-ish. He is STILL bored in class, and knows most of the information they are trying to teach. His advisor is so sweet and invested into Damian though. And observant. After noticing Damian lack of enthusiasm, he asks Damian what the problem. Nothing interests him, none of his classes.this advisor is an old timer, in my opinion, and has seen so many kids pushed to do things they never wanted to do, and decides he can’t let that happen with Damian. So the Advisor pulls out every department, every major, and goes through it with Damian. After a few hours, because it takes a while to convince Damian that it is alright to do anything he wants, Damian has his majors narrowed down to a few things. Art and pre-med. Damian’s advisor suggests he visit a few of the clubs on campus to really get a feel of what he wants. Thing is, even after going to the students’ art club gallery and one of the pre-med club meetings, neither really speak to him. It’s a Saturday night, and he’s alone on campus. Damian is about to call Alfred, when a student from Damian’s organic chemistry class spots him.

“Damian!” Jace, a slightly round student with soft curly hair smiles at Damian. “Are you here for the show?”

“Show?” Damian scowls?

“Yeah, the fashion show. This year’s theme is sustainability,” Jace smiles. They one of the few people who never ogled at Damian for being a Wayne or looked down on him for his age. They are just genuinely nice, and Damian knows that.

“I didn’t know we had a fashion show,”

“Really? I swear I thought I mentioned it,” Jace says, surprised. Jace may have mentioned that, but Damian probably was zoned out during the time.“Tickets are $15, if you wanna come”

“Oh,” Damian frowns, “I used all the money I brought with me for the art gallery and lunch earlier,” He says, cursing internally for not bringing more cash with him.

“If you want to go, I’ll cover you.” Jace smiles, “Think of it as payment for help on our last exam” Damian would usually say no, but Jace is just so nice,

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah! Besides,” Jace smiles, turning towards the stadium, “I have a feeling you’re going to love it”

And Damian did love it. The designs were amazing, some more haute couture while others were casual, and each designer explained how their designs involved sustainability. Some were statement pieces, designed to address political issues, others were just to demonstrate that sustainability could still be cute, and while others highlighted affordability and sustainability.

Damian wanted to do this. Running through his head were endless possibilities. Perhaps he can enlist the help of Poison Ivy to create a vegan leather that was also bullet resistant, or…

The next Monday he is waiting for his advisor at 7 in the morning, because he spent the rest of the weekend coming up with ideas, sketches, creating a portfolio, and practicing hypothetical arguments as to why Damian should go into fashion. At 7:15 his advisor sees him, and can tell by the light in Damian’s eyes, determination on his face, and the way he’s clutching his sketchbook, Damian has found it.

“I want into the fashion program!” Damian all but bursts, unconsciously on his tippy toes in excitement.

“Okay,” His advisor smiles, ushering him into his office. “Let’s make it happen”

“Just like that?” Damian asks, eyes wide, voice surprisingly small. His advisor smiles at him kindly.

“I’ll do whatever I can to make it happen.”

It takes a bit before Damian can actually get into the program, he has to work on some prerequisites, and also create a better portfolio with samples, but Damian is determined. By the end of the school year, he has been accepted.

Damian doesn’t tell his family, not in the beginning. He actually doesn’t want to tell his friends either, unsure of how they’d react. He is still insecure, and just entering his teen years. He worries about what any or everyone will say. Eventually, though he tells Jon and Colin, swearing them to secrecy. They both are excited for him, asking if he’d design their costumes for them. Damian blushes but says,

“Tt, like you can afford me”

He eventually tells Alfred as well, because he needs help learning how to use a sewing machine, and fast. Sure, he can stitch someone up flawlessly, but sewing machines weren’t part of the League’s lessons. Alfred is in charge of the one at the Manor, so it only makes sense to ask him. Even so, Damian is reluctant. When he does finally ask, he nearly gives himself an attack, worrying about being scolded for not using his “full potential”. Alfred simply squeezes Damian’s shoulder, and agrees with a kind smile. The young Master finally seemed passionate about something besides vigilante work and violence. Alfred would do everything in his power to foster that.

“Just,” Damian looks down, hands clenching into fists at his side, “Do not tell the others. I would prefer this between us,” He looks at Alfred, unsuccessfully trying to hide the vulnerability in his wide emerald eyes. Alfred agrees, for now. On the conditions that Damian would have to tell his father and siblings himself, and not to far in the future either.

Damian impresses everyone with his designs, and people learn he is actually quite adorable when he’s doing something he enjoys. His classmates and professors encourage him to join the fall fashion show, which is covering “multiculturalism and the media”. Damian hesitantly agrees, though he has been making designs since the theme was announced. His room is full of crumbled paper on his floor, designs he deigned not good enough. Many of his designs are heavily influenced by his Arab culture, but he also has some Chinese-influenced designs as well. His statement piece is the hardest to get right. It involves a hijab and beautiful colors, but he just can’t get the right patter. Ripping another page and crumpling it,Damian is too concentrated to realized Tim and Dick have been creeping into his room.

“What’s this Dames?” Dick asks, startling Damian, as he looks at some of the rejected designs. Panic makes Damian defensive as he yells at them to get out, frustration fueling the dread of his family seeing such unsatisfactory work. Tim flinches, shocked by the emotion coming off of Damian, rushing out with a few crumpled papers he snuck from the floor. Damian is literally trying to shove Dick out the door. Dick turns around, because he can hear the panic in his little brother’s voice. In his Robin’ voice. “Damian,” he says softly, easily deflecting Damian. “It’s okay,” he says, wrapping his arms around Damian, reversing the situation. “What’s wrong, why are you reacting like this?” After a few minutes of struggling, Damian gives up. Slowly,he explains the situation, how he’s in the fashion program and the fashion show coming up, all the pressure to do well, the frustration of not having his statement piece yet. Dick listens, his hold turning into a hug. “From what I’ve seen,” Dick says softly, “these are all wonderful designs,Dami. Whatever you end up making will look amazing, if they look anything like your sketches.”

“It’s not enough!” Damian complains, eyes burning, but he refuses to cry. “You don’t understand!” He says, frustrated.

“Then explain it to me, why is this so important?”

“Because it is about me!” Damian’s voice cracks ask he turns away rosiness his eyes harshly. “When I was introduced to the public, as “Bruce Wayne’s biological son”, do you not remember how the newspapers reacted? They didn’t know me, or my mother, but because—because of my skin, the country I was born, I was mistrusted. Scorned. Yeah, maybe I’ve killed people, but that isn’t because of my skin color or my culture or the language I speak. I have this opportunity to speak out against that!” Damian turns to look at Dick, “I’ve tried to become better, to do better. It’s hard and unfair that none of that matters, because guests are invited to galas hosted in the house that I live in, only to make snide racist comments about “nukes” or the desert or bombs whenever Father and you all aren’t around me. How can I be better, when I’m not given the chance because people can’t see past my skin?” Dick wraps Damian into a tight hug, as wetness drips down Damian’s cheeks. “I’ve been here nearly four years—and it still happens” Damian whispers.

“Why didn’t you say anything Dami?”

“What could I say?” Damian whispers back,

“Bruce—”

“Invites these people because they are important to Wayne Enterprise.” He scoffs. “What could you do, especially if I have no proof?”

“Believe me, Damian,” Dick says seriously, pulling back to look into Damian’s eyes. “Bruce won’t invite anyone who’s racist or derogatory towards his children, back to a gala, let alone do business with him again.” He smiles a hard somewhat vicious smile. “I know because when I was first adopted, he did that for me” Damian’s eyes widen. “And if Bruce can’t defend you, you can bet your brothers will,” Damian looks unsure, but nods. “But I get it now. You’ve always used art to vent and express yourself. This design is something that would allow you to address what the media has done to and said about you.”

“It’s been,” Damian shrugs, looking down, “therapeutic. In a way I never imagined it would be.”

“Well, I think, whatever you end up designing will be amazing,” Dick smiles, and Damian looks up at the sincerity, giving his own smile smile in response. “And I expect an invitation to the fashion show!” He chuckles, causing Damian to blush. “And I bet the whole family would want to come as well,” Damian blushes, looking away once more.

“Tickets are $15 each, and available online,” Damian replies, making Dick belly laugh. “You can invite the others, if you’d like” Damian mumbles.

“Hmm,how ‘bout I invite the siblings while you invite your dad,” Damian grumbles, but agrees. “Great! Now, take a break. One night not designing won’t hurt you.” Dick says, wrapping his arm around Damian’s shoulder. ‘Might do you some good, in fact.”

Things get better after that, because after his talk with Dick, Damian gets an idea for his design. Ziba, a Persian student Damian met in his Literature class, agreed to be his model for his statement piece. She wore her hijab proudly, a solid black color, which helped with the down-to-business look the rest of the outfit screamed. Ziba’s makeup was beautiful, as Damian was putting the last touches on her. They both were quiet, nervous excitement pulsing through them both. Ziba had on white trousers that flared out a bit, to give an almost flowy feel, with black basic vegan leather square pointed toe mule flat accented by a silver buckle. Damian had made the top a cross between a tunic, a blazer, and a cape. It is white, and goes over a plain solid black turtleneck. Printed on both the buttoned blazer tunic top and the trousers are past racist articles written about Damian. In red graffiti styled letters sprayed across the news paper articles are phrases like “Lies” “Warped Perception” “Western POV” “Racist” “I was only 10”. The red paint matches the red lipstick Ziba is wearing.

Damian was nervous with his family in the audience, everyone including Alfred was there. Apparently Superman and Superboy were in attendance too, as civilians of course. Colin was there too. Damian had told his father about the fashion show, and was surprised to see how supportive he was about it. Of course that may have been the shock, as Damian had told him that morning before leaving for school. Bruce blinked, stood up and hugged Damian, before saying he couldn’t wait for the show.

Damian’s set is the last, ask the show is in alphabetical order according to last names. When it’s his turn, all of his model’s line up, and Damian is running around making sure everything is perfect. He hears the speaker introduce his collection, inviting Damian to join him on stage. Damian rushes out, brown cheeks turn red. Together they introduce all seven outfits of the collection one by one, as Damian describes his designs, the material, and the inspiration behind each one. When it get’s to Ziba’s turn, Damian’s nearly choked up. He manages to discuss this piece and it’s significance to him. At the end, Damian received a standing ovation from nearly everyone. Looking over at his family, he has to duck from hiding his flamed cheeks. All his siblings were cheering for him, while Bruce and Dick dab their eyes. Alfred has a proud look on his face, and Damian couldn’t have been happier.

He ends up getting second place, but also his own work room at the Manor. Damian begins selling his work after getting it patented (Tim demanded it), and is surprised when a number of orders are for the galas around Gotham. Dick told Bruce and the others about all the things Damian has been hearing at Galas, and they are justifiably angry. Duke begins chants of “Eat the Rich” every time he hears someone says something problematic about Damian, and that because Tim’s signal on who to take down next.

Damian’s designs become more widely popular as his family starts wearing them, as they love talking about it and how he uses sustainable methods and materials. This earns him big named clients, who start wearing Damian’s designs on the Red Carpet and premiers . Damian also likes to do work for charity, often donating dresses to high schoolers who cannot afford prom dresses or making clothes out of extra material to donate to shelters so people have clothes for job interviews and such.

(He also makes his pets clothes when he’s bored, so it’s normal to see Titus wearing a doggy hoodie with slits in it for his ears)

ANYWAYS, this is my headcanon lol

What do think about it?

—🧵🪡

Headcanon?? Bestie this a whole ass au!

As for my thoughts-

💳 💥💥 💳 💥💥💥 💳 💥💥💥💥

[stiltonbasket]

(Is this where you submit prompts? I really dont know ^^💧) Prompt for the renouncement au: I don’t know why i love when gossip is involved, so maybe something about people’s opinions on wangxian’s marriage and how it slowly changes to a better perspective to the point that anyone who doubts their feelings for each other gets immediately shut down. And you could add some juniors shenanigans to make wangxian have that good of a reputation because i miss them </3. Thank you for your time and effort! (And sorry if this is not the place for the prompts, i will submit it again if you say so ^^’ )

(author’s note: please please reblog if you can, since that’s how we get prompts for future chapters!)

Lan Siyong considers himself one of the more moderate elders among the Lan sect. 

He has been close friends with Lan Qiren from childhood, and he saw Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji grow up into the fine, upstanding men they are today. When the two of them were boys, he even had fond thoughts of attending their weddings, and watching them take on the most sacred of duties with glad, willing hearts. 

Learning that Xichen would never wed had been a disappointment, but Lan Siyong rallied again when Lan Qiren confided the reason why the boy rejected marriage—chastity in an upstanding cultivator was to be lauded, especially in an age where Jin Guangshan had once demanded such high respect, and there could still be children born to Lan Huan if he decided to cultivate them. And of course, Wangji was there, and Lan Siyong knew from the first that he would be the kind of youth to fall in love deeply, at first sight, and remain passionately devoted to his mingding zhiren until he drew his last breath. 

But then Lan Siyong had Wangji’s own sword turned upon him at the Burial Mounds, because the one that his many-times distant nephew loved so dearly was none other than Wei Wuxian. 

“Qiren,” he says hoarsely, when the lotus-scented wedding invitations arrive from Lotus Pier. “You cannot let this happen—an unrighteous cultivator, one who spurned orthodoxy without remorse and led Wangji down such a dangerous path—”

“What has been done has been done,” Lan Qiren replies. “We have sent the bridewealth, and the marriage was contracted between Xichen and Jiang-zongzhu. All their terms have been agreed upon, and the date set.”

And then, after a brief pause: “He makes Wangji happy.”

Lan Siyong nearly cries. He does not attend the wedding, for fear of shaming Wangji with the open despair that appears on his face whenever he sees Wei Wuxian, and sends the newlywed couple the most expensive gift he can afford in an effort to do something useful. 

Wei Wuxian is the one who writes him a letter in thanks. Lan Siyong almost has a qi deviation.

__

“You know,” one of the other elders mutters after the second wedding ceremony: namely, the ceremony held in the Cloud Recesses, since Jiang-zongzhu demanded that his brother should be married at Lotus Pier first. “Wei Wuxian refused to have a blessing for children spoken at the an chuang ceremony.”

“Gossip is forbidden,” Lan Haiyang says tranquilly. He stopped caring about practically everything after his son’s wife gave birth to the whirlwind that calls himself Lan Jingyi, so Lan Siyong has long since given up relying on him to fix any kind of sect turmoil. “And they already have two children. I have not seen a finer Lan disciple than Lan Sizhui in all my days.”

Lan Siyong is forced to concede this last. Wangji has two good children, even if the Yiling Patriarch is perhaps the most unsuitable person alive to raise them with him, and a couple’s choice to expand their family is up to them, and no others.

“He should at least have let the blessing be spoken, though.”

Lan Siyong does not disagree with this. Traditions are traditions, and surely even Wei Wuxian should know to respect them once in a while. 

__

“It’s worse than I thought,” Lan Siyong murmurs, on a summer afternoon about six weeks after Wangji’s wedding. He passed Haiyang’s grandson and his friends on his way to the refectory that morning, and heard them discussing how heartbroken Wangji had looked upon hearing that Wei Wuxian did not return his love. “I ought not to have eavesdropped, but—poor Wangji!”

“Poor Wangji what?” Lan Haiyang asks, as if their little Lan Zhan being in trouble was all in another day’s work to him. “What’s happened to him now?”

“Wei Wuxian disavows Wangji’s love at every opportunity,” he replies dismally, going over to the refreshment table to drown his woes in chestnut cake and tea. “I fear for him, Haiyang. To love for so long, and to wed his beloved, and have children with him, and still…”

Lan Haiyang snorts into his tea. 

“What do you mean by that?” demands Lan Siyong, more than a little offended. “Wangji is in distress! We must do something!”

His friend does not reply. Honestly, it’s as if no one remembers what Wangji suffered for Wei Wuxian’s sake. Lan Siyong even tries raising the issue with Lan Qiren, and then with Xichen, but all he gets in return for his pains is a tray of fresh-baked red bean buns from the hanshi and another cryptic comment about Wangji’s supposed happiness from Qiren. 

Yet again, he is forced to leave his worries for another day, and try his best to follow rule three thousand, one hundred and sixty-two: that the affairs of a married couple should not be discussed by outsiders, even if they happen to be close, concerned family. 

Lan Siyong thinks his hair might be turning white by now.

__

And then, in early winter, Lan Siyong is roused from his bed one night and told that Wei Wuxian has gone missing. He joins the search party that Wangji leads, and follows him to a dark house in the woods with the Ghost General leading the way—and then he watches as Wangji kills at least a dozen men in an effort to reach his husband, whom they find unconscious in a cave beneath the house with corpse bites dotting every visible inch of his skin.

Lan Siyong nearly weeps as he hears Wangji’s desperate whispers to his beloved on the way back to Gusu, and watches him hold Wei Wuxian close while refusing help from anyone who offers.

Let him live, Lan Siyong prays silently, when Wei Wuxian is carried into the infirmary with Wangji at his side. Please, for Wangji’s sake, let Wei-gongzi live. 

__

“Qiren?”

A few days after the news about Wangji’s soon-to-be-born daughter is made public (public being a subjective word, since ceremony preceding the birth of a third child is unnecessary, and Wei Wuxian had said that he would rather wait until the baby arrives to make a formal announcement) Lan Siyong discovers Lan Qiren in one of the common rooms, sitting at a writing desk with his head buried in his hands. It’s a strange thing to see his friend do, since Lan Qiren has not looked so distressed since those three dark years after Wangji’s sentencing, and he hardly even looks up when Lan Siyong lays a hand on his shoulder. 

“It was just four weeks ago that Wei Ying was kidnapped and confined in that dungeon,” Lan Qiren says blankly, after he registers Lan Siyong’s presence and turns around to greet him. “If he—oh, heavens—”

Two weeks later, Lan Siyong requests a week’s leave from teaching to attend the trials of Wei Wuxian’s kidnappers, who are being held under Nie-zongzhu’s jurisdiction in the Unclean Realm. He has always believed himself to be a gentle man, but when the only sentences dealt are life imprisonment and execution, Lan Siyong’s heart is strangely devoid of any pity. All he can think of are the corpse bites he saw on Wei Wuxian’s face and throat, and a baby girl who nearly perished with her father before she had the chance to take her first breath. 

On his way back to the Cloud Recesses, he purchases a bolt of thick cream-colored silk with fine sky-blue embroidery and brings it to Wangji as a gift after the next monthly sect meeting.

“Xinhua-jun will need wider-cut robes before long,” he says, when his nephew gives him a curious glance before bowing low in thanks. “Zewu-jun has told us all that he and the child are in good health, and that the little one is growing well. All of our good wishes go with them both, and we pray that you should not hesitate to rely on us in the months to come if it should be needed.”

Wangji’s eyes go soft. “Thank you, San-shushu. It is much appreciated.”

__

Lan Siyong gets his first chance to hold Wei Shuilan at the baby’s full-moon ceremony, while Wangji and Wei Wuxian are running back and forth through the banquet hall to greet the arriving guests, and seize the first trusted elder they can reach to watch little A-Lan for a moment. At first, Lan Siyong merely stands by her cradle to keep an eye on her, but then she seems to sense her parents’ absence, so he picks her up and jogs her up and down to keep her from crying; and then he begins to hum softly beside her tiny ear, soothing the baby back to sleep by the time Wei Wuxian returns. 

“My good Lan-bao,” Wei Wuxian croons, cradling the child to his chest before rearranging her crumpled swaddling clothes. “Such a good baobei, to take your nap even with so much going on! Just like your A-Die, thank goodness, and not like your A-Niang.”

Curious, Lan Siyong clears his throat. “What do you mean, Wei-gongzi?”

Wei Wuxian laughs. “I never sleep properly at night, but Lan Zhan always falls asleep at hai shi, even if he isn’t in bed yet,” he says, with his voice so full of love for the newborn child in his arms and the husband who gave her to him that Lan Siyong feels strangely humbled. “A-Lan’s just like him that way.”

At that moment, Wangji appears with a plate of cut fruit and lotus cake before presenting it to Wei Wuxian. “Here, Wei Ying. Give A-Lan to me, and eat your lunch.”

“Lunch?” Wei Wuxian asks, confused. “But we’re having the banquet in just an hour.”

“You have been having your luncheon at this time for the past six months,” Wangji says stubbornly. “I will not have you going hungry even for a minute, xingan.”

“Lan Zhan, sweetheart…”

Thank heaven they found each other again, Lan Siyong thinks, slipping away to find Lan Qiren with a rising lump of tears in his throat. I do not think anyone else could have ever made Wangji so happy.

[feather-dancer]

Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 6

I do admittedly have things left to read in my tabs I’d normally prefer to clear out before posting one of these but when you sail past the 30 mark I think it’s about time to get it out my drafts, yeah? Most importantly means this will be out before Rise of the Titans comes and emotionally destroys us all.

Needless to say soon as this is posted I give it 24 hours before 7 starts, we’ve got some amazing writers in this fandom and there’s a couple I juuust want one more chapter before I feel I can recommend it. Hope you find something you enjoy :)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

If at all interested in my own writing you can find it here!

General Trollhunters

Romeo, Question Mark - Jim is figuring himself out and has a question for Toby though nervous of how he might react. Honestly the support Aromantic’s need when they’re either questioning or coming out, Toby is a gem.

By The Book - After his dad left changing his world Jim had moments in his life where he needed to wrangle things in a way he could understand them with some moral support along the way that wasn’t there to do it for him, just give a light nudge the right direction. Comes with light Jilaire fluff.

That I Could Fear a Door - Jim was pulled from the Darklands whole but you cannot escape the trauma of your experiences quite so easily. It will take a little time, a lot of patience and perhaps the right ear to listen but with it can come hope.

Lest Back the Awful Door Should Spring - Sequel to the above, Jim’s capture to be sentenced by the tribunal echoes his experiences in the Darklands a little too closely sending all his careful progress hurtling back in one fell swoop. Is it any wonder he chose a false freedom that Unkar offered?

Façade - The confirmation that Mr. Strickler is not the man you thought he was probably was not going to be an easy one, Jim’s thoughts sit ill after that dinner.

Fashion - All changelings take root somewhere in a human life before their changeling one succeeds it and Nomura is no different. She felt love she could not understand and the ache of loss will follow for as she meanders through this world by the Whisper Man’s orders and her own volition of needing to belong somewhere. She will try her hand with the humans and the trolls, paint the road with blood as much as indulging herself with the arts and even risking her heart until everything leads her to Arcadia’s doorstep.

In Deep Trouble - What happened in the Deep during Season 2?

Aftermath - Just after the finale of Season 2 the Market trolls are forced to run leaving their homes behind and follow the Trollhunter they had dismissed so many times into the great unknown before them.

Don’t think - Jim weighs up his options and attempts to settle his thoughts before making the final decision whether or not to go through with using Merlin’s potion.

Nocturne for a Trollhunter - Jim learns a new hobby that gives him another way to relax that doesn’t involve cooking, one that follows him beyond Arcadia.

The Asteroid - A rare 3Below fic for my lists if centered on a certain hedge witch and Wizard. The end of the world is coming but not by Morgana’s hand and Merlin certainly never warned Douxie about it so if this truly is the end then it’s the best time to bring your loved ones close so you won’t be going out alone. Yes it’s Zouxie.

A bright future so it seemed (but that light grew a little less bright) - Claire’s parents (Or more specifically Ophelia) set her on the perfectionist’s path early, even a little slip can feel like the end of the world

Rest, Master Jim - You might be able to escape the Darklands but you cannot escape the consequences of being trapped there for so long as easily.

General Wizards

Not Found - So why did neither Douxie or Archie find the two remaining changelings in Arcadia or bring back the sole Akiridion when Merlin asked?

Place of Power - A lovely bit of shameless Zouxie fluff in that brief period the gang was at Hex Tech before the plot came to get them.

Bitter Water - Only two of the old team remain in Arcadia and those were Jim and Krel, the rest having left to pursue educational pursuits and in one particular case kept away for Nari’s safety. For the Akiridion he is still here with reminders of his heritage and what it took to have this life on earth chasing him all the way. It’s always good to have friends with a listening ear and hot chocolate.

Together, Dearest - The very act of resting is a potential invitation for nightmares and Nari is no different but when once more in the waking world you will find you’re not alone, there are hugs available.

The Night Belongs To Us - Lovingly described Skraelroc fluff during their long hunt for Merlin and the strangeness that can be observed on clearer nights.

Nineteen Plus Nine Hundred, Give Or Take - 900 years is a long time by anyone’s standards but perhaps during that Douxie can figure out how to truly live.

Twelfth Century Wizard, Twenty-First Century Witch - The follow up to the above, when you’ve lived a long and interesting life things can still pop up in odd ways... Even if you haven’t quite mastered the sacred art of texting yet.

ERAS TÚ (It was you). | Tales of Arcadia One-Shot - Would you want to live forever if it meant leaving everyone behind? Jilaire.

the only way for us to go - From his rescue from the streets of Camelot to the eventual guardian of this realm, Douxie has come a very, very long way. Through the frustrations of trying to learn magic, the belittling of others, the faith of Morgana and the power of music his experiences throughout 900 years truly make him what he is.

lay down your head - Even the mightiest can be plagued with the not so humble migraine. Skraelroc fluff.

Stricklake

Merry Christmas, Doctor Lake - Some Christmas gifts are worth going all out for and getting your friends and family to help out to make it extra special.

Grocery Run - After the incident where Merlin dismissed Strickler for being a changeling it is time for an excuse to get out the house for a bit and have a frank discussion about their relationship, the future beyond the incoming battle and lingering insecurities of two worlds colliding.

Alternate Universe

Fashionista, How Do You Look? - An AU that very much takes the term very literally here where everyone is human, Skrael, Bellroc and Nari are fashion designers plus many other ToA characters we know and love are either in the industry in some way themselves or on the fringes because of their jobs/who they know. Sometimes you work with catty bitches and want to kick back and watch the fireworks you know? Contains friends to almost to enemies to friends to maybe we’ll get our shit together this time but the odds aren’t great Skraelroc. There’s also a Zouxie oneshot in this collection that was a gift for meee because of the corner I dug in the AU.

Atlas, Fallen - When a star falls from the sky it is a punishment so when Atlas suddenly finds himself amongst the humans he had observed from above for countless ages in a flesh body like theirs he fears his Mother is punishing him and unable understand what he did wrong. While trying to find his way back home he gets a crash course in what it’s like to be human making friends along the way. Slow burn Jilaire.

she once was a true love of mine - I put this under the AU section even though it wavers between that and not, a mixture of classical Arthurian mythos and the glimpses of the Camelot in Tales of Arcadia where one kingdom collapses from war another strengthens by taking their princess as queen. While Arthur might have turned her head once it is the sibling that seems to be catching Gwen’s eye of late as much as her thoughts. Morgwen but in the department of pining.

Pulled From The Ocean - AU doesn’t quite fit this one but it feels a bit more fitting than general. A little oneshot snapshot of Jim living with deafness and the contrast of one world that falls easily into supporting that whereas the other tries their best but it makes the slip ups sting even more.

you are a stranger here, why have you come? - Fate is a funny old thing, something happens a little bit differently such as a father not leaving alone and everything can change so drastically. Nari’s fondness for children strikes again and this time it involves a 5-year old Jim Lake Jr. ending in the Order’s care and their foray into found family. Somehow Jim is even more of a disaster and as likely surmised from the fact I write this trope myself I am very weak for it.

go into your local forest and you will find a friend and a boy - Toby was unlucky in the friend department and by the time he is ten he still feels miserable and lonely having to endure Steve’s increasing bullying all the while. This is of course until he finds a blue half-troll hiding out the daylight hours munching cans in the local woods...

[ibijau]

Future Past pt17 / on AO3

After being dragged on a Night Hunt by Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen ponders the choices in front of him

“And that’s when Sect Leader Yao fell face first into the bog,” Nie Mingjue finished with a grin.

Lan Xichen, who had been fighting not to react for most of the story, burst out laughing so hard he had to stop walking, before quickly pressing one hand to his mouth in a vain effort to silence himself.

“There, I knew I hadn’t lost my touch,” Nie Mingjue said with an even wider grin, and Lan Xichen was nearly overcome with how much he’d missed him.

Of course he only had himself to blame for that. During the past year, Nie Mingjue had reached out to him several times, inviting Lan Xichen to spend a week or two in the Unclean Realm to flee his uncle’s students, or else suggesting they go on a Night Hunt together. But every time, Lan Xichen had found plenty of excuses to refuse. They were all good excuses, and he’d been busy with his regular duties, and the copying of the library, and…

And good or not, excuses were just excuses. The honest trust was that Lan Xichen had, in fact, been avoiding his best friend. The lingering shame from that horrible future had been too much to bear. How could he have faced Nie Mingjue, knowing he would have failed him someday, knowing he’d sided with his murderer, knowing he’d allowed his precious brother to turn into a monster? Horrified by the terrible friend he would have become, Lan Xichen had tried to distance himself from Nie Mingjue.

It hadn’t worked. Nie Mingjue had been patient with him, until one day he wasn’t, and just dropped by the Cloud Recesses unannounced, warned Lan Qiren that he was borrowing his nephew, and took Lan Xichen on a Night Hunt before anyone could protest. That had been the previous afternoon, and since then Nie Mingjue had been on a quest to make Lan Xichen laugh.

They’d just arrived at the location where a demon bear was causing trouble, and finally Nie Mingjue’s effort had been rewarded.

Now that he was laughing, Lan Xichen felt a little stupid for trying so hard to stay serious. Even if in his memories of the future Nie Mingjue had become an angry man too short tempered to have fun with, in the present he was the funniest person Lan Xichen knew.

The most forgiving, too, because he wasn’t even angry that Lan Xichen had pushed him away for an entire year.

“You’ve gotten too stern,” Nie Mingjue just said while Lan Xichen laughed. “I need to scold your uncle for making you work too much. I also need to steal you more often.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Lan Xichen replied, meaning it. He had been too serious since gaining those unwanted memories. Except for music lessons with Nie Huaisang, letters from Jiang Cheng, and a few chats with his brother, everything had felt dreary and stressful these last few months. “I’d wanted to act more maturely, but I suppose it’s important to have fun too.”

This prompted Nie Mingjue to make an annoyed noise.

“Huaisang told me the same thing last week,” he said in an aggravated tone. “That little brat…”

“I thought you wanted him to act more seriously?”

“I do, but not like that,” Nie Mingjue grumbled as he resumed walking. “He’s weird since he came back. First he ran off on his own, flying on his sabre…”

Lan Xichen winced. That hadn’t happened in his memory of another life. But at the same time, in that other life Nie Huaisang hadn’t gotten in nearly as much trouble, not during that first year in the Cloud Recesses at least. Lan Xichen couldn’t help feeling guilty about that, since it had to have been his fault for changing the normal course of events.

“Then when he comes back, he brings that orphan he found somewhere and demands that I let him join the sect!”

That was new as well.

“Did you agree?” Lan Xichen asked.

Nie Mingjue shrugged, and Lan Xichen had to bite his cheeks not to smile. So that was a yes. As expected, Nie Mingjue just didn’t know how to refuse his brother’s whims. It was comforting to know that this, at least, hadn’t changed.

“He’s obsessed with that kid,” Nie Mingjue explained. “Don’t know why. The boy is a damn pest, gets in fights all the time with everyone… but I guess he is clever, and he’s got potential. It’s just so weird to see Huaisang always asking about his progress. He’s never cared about any younger disciples before!”

“Maybe he brought you your future brother-in-law,” Lan Xichen teased.

“I don’t think so. The kid’s only about ten, I’d need to have a serious discussion with Huaisang if he was going after someone that young. Besides, doesn’t he already have a fling with that Lan disciple, what's his name… Su She, right?”

Hearing this, Lan Xichen’s good humour crumbled. Since Nie Huaisang had told him in Yunping City that there was nothing of the sort between himself and Su She, Lan Xichen had stopped thinking about it. But Nie Mingjue sounded quite sure of himself, so either Nie Huaisang had lied that time, or things had changed since then.

If so, Lan Xichen could only be happy for them, he supposed. After all he knew too well how loyal Su She could be toward those he cared about, and Nie Huaisang had passionately taken the defence of his friend on multiple occasions. They wouldn’t be the worst of matches, and if Lan Xichen felt any discomfort over that idea, it was only because of lingering memories of that future that would not be.

"Did I get it wrong?" Nie Mingjue asked when Lan Xichen remained silent too long. "I've just never heard that brat talk like that about anyone. Since he came back, it's all 'Su-xiong said this' about everything, except when it's 'Xichen-gege said that', so I figured you might know something”

He paused for a moment, looking concerned. Lan Xichen glanced around, in case Nie Mingjue had heard a noise, or noticed anything about that demon bear they were after, but everything seemed quiet.

“That Su She, what sort of a person is he?” Nie Mingjue suddenly asked with a grim expression. “Huaisang really is enthusiastic about that boy, but he’s mentioned that his ‘Su-xiong’ has a temper, and… he failed the exams even though both you and your uncle wrote that he’s been studying a lot. It's almost like he did it on purpose. And he’s so nervous since he came back, but he won’t say why.”

“Su She is not a bad person,” Lan Xichen replied, and it still startled him that he meant it. Something of the man he would have become lingered in Lan Xichen that was still suspicious of what Su She would have done, but in the end it was unfair to judge him on something that hadn’t happened yet. “He’s not the most popular junior in the sect, but he’s hardworking and very dedicated to his friendship with Huaisang. If they do have that sort of relationship…”

He hesitated for a second. The idea remained startlingly unpleasant, but he refused to linger on that.

“If it’s like that, then I think Huaisang could do a lot worse.”

Tension immediately drained from Nie Mingjue’s body, who smiled at his friend.

“That’s a relief. I've been really… did you hear that?"

Lan Xichen gave one short nod, his hand resting on his sword. The cracking noise they'd both heard was followed by more, then a series of low grunts. 

The demon bear had been found. 

 -

 The Night Hunt went well, not that Lan Xichen ever doubted it. He vaguely recalled that even in the other future they’d hunted that demon bear, and though he hadn’t remembered the details, he knew it had gone very well over there too. 

With their job done, Nie Mingjue and him warned the local magistrate that the threat had been handled before heading to a local inn to eat and relax for a moment. They both had a lot of work waiting for them at home, but Night Hunting together was always a chance to escape that for a time, and to pretend they were just two ordinary young men as careless as others their age. They usually went to the site of the Night Hunt quickly, aware that lives might be at stake, and then took several days to come home, travelling together as far as they could before separating. It felt like a bit of innocent mischief, and Lan Xichen loved it. 

The inn they ended up in was pleasant enough, though Lan Xichen’s standards were not very high at that moment. As long as he was safe from the bitter winter cold, with some warm tea, and decent enough food, he was satisfied. Still, it was a pleasant bonus to discover that there was a musician at the inn that day, playing on his flute whatever songs people requested as long as they dropped a few coins. The man was decently skilled, and some of the songs were nice enough that Lan Xichen wouldn’t have minded learning them.

To Lan Xichen’s surprise, Nie Mingjue too was paying attention to the performer. It struck him as quite odd, since his friend had little taste for songs unless they were weapons to use in battle.

“If that melody is one you like, I can ask for its name and try to learn it,” Lan Xichen offered after a moment, a little excited for a chance to please his friend. “It would not be a problem.”

The suggestion startled Nie Mingjue who tore his eyes from the performer, and seemed a little embarrassed to have been caught staring.

“That’s very generous of you, but I was just… thinking about Huaisang,” he admitted. “He’s really obsessed with music lately. Even raided our library in search of pieces to learn. I’m trying to understand what’s so great about that. At least with painting I can see if it’s good or not, and his birds force him to be responsible, but music… I’m really out of my depth with that, and I hate that I don’t know how to support him.”

Nie Mingjue sighed, as if it truly wounded him that his brother would have a passion so foreign to his own interests. Perhaps it did. Lan Xichen, whose tastes were so similar to his brother’s in most things, couldn’t imagine what it would be like to love so much someone so different from one’s self.

"Is he actually any good?” Nie Mingjue then asked. “he sounds great to me, but that's not saying much. Every musician sounds good to me. But some of the elders have said they're impressed by his skill, and said they’d like him to play sometimes when we have guests to entertain. They might just be polite." 

"Did he borrow a guqin from someone to continue practicing?" Lan Xichen asked, still surprised by the enthusiasm Nie Huaisang showed for music.

"Worse, he bought his own," Nie Mingjue explained, rolling his eyes. "That brat! He used up half his allowance for the year on that. I’ve warned him not to beg for money in six months when he has nothing to use for his trips to Gusu, he needs to learn not to overspend like that."

Lan Xichen froze, and for a second nearly fell into breathless panic. It was a stupid thing to worry about, compared to everything else he had changed, but… 

But in that other life too he'd gone on that Night Hunt with Nie Mingjue, who had then complained that his brother had spent a fortune on a series of exquisite fans, and even had made the same threat about not giving him more funds (which he still had done when Nie Huaisang had written to beg for money down the line). It had been the starting point of Nie Huaisang's collection, a collection that he'd continued working on for the rest of his life, no matter what else changed. 

Even that very last time Lan Xichen had met Nie Huaisang in that other life, after every lie had been revealed, even as he spilled all of his hatred for a man he'd grown to despise, Nie Huaisang had been flaunting a brand new fan, painted by a famous artist. 

Fans had appeared to be Nie Huaisang’s last joy left after he'd lost everything else, and if Lan Xichen had taken that from him… 

"You know," Nie Mingjue said, "whether he's good or not, I'm grateful you decided to teach him. He's so damn nervous all the time these days, but playing seems to calm him. So I was wondering if you might continue with the lessons?”

“Really?”

Nie Mingjue shrugged with affected indifference. 

“If that brat is finally interested in something I can pretend is related to cultivation… " he grumbled." I’m not asking you to teach him any Lan songs," he quickly added," but I wouldn’t mind if some of our elders thought that. If you have time, of course. It’s gonna be a rough year for you, with the students you have coming this time."

Lan Xichen wrinkled his nose at the thought. The year promised to be intense indeed. He hadn’t yet decided what to do about that Wei Wuxian person who would play such a role in his brother's life, sometimes for the better, often for the worse. In his memories of the future, the man he’d become had eventually accepted that Wei Wuxian was Lan Wangji’s true love, sharing with him a bond so strong that not even death had severed it. 

But Lan Xichen as he currently was couldn’t help thinking about all the pain and hardship that love had cost his brother, and he wasn’t sure if that was quite worth it. For all that he’d supported the acquaintance when it had started in that other life, Lan Xichen now wanted to prevent his brother from falling in love with that person. Surely it would be better if Lan Wangji didn't suffer like that. 

“I don’t mind continuing the lessons,” Lan Xichen said, who had already been planning for that anyway. “He’s quite good, and he actually could learn some of our songs, if he set his mind to it. Besides, he’s good company, we’ve had some good fun.”

Not to mention Nie Huaisang might be able to help with whatever Lan Xichen decided to do regarding Wei Wuxian, since they would become good friends. He might give a hand in preventing Lan Wangji from meeting that boy, or give a hint in the right direction if Lan Xichen decide to help that little romance.

“So that’s why you’ve been ignoring me then,” Nie Mingjue replied dryly. “A prettier friend who makes you laugh and calls you cute nicknames… I'm ditched so easily. Truly tragic.”

It was a joke. 

Having been friends with him for this many years, Lan Xichen knew how Nie Mingjue joked, as deadpan as his brother was dramatic, but this time the teasing hit a little too close to home. Lan Xichen hurriedly grabbed his friend’s hands and squeezed them tight. For a moment he found himself fighting to breathe, for which Nie Mingjue threw him a concerned look.

“I would never betray you,” Lan Xichen managed to wheeze out. “I swear! You… You are my friend, the person I trust the most, the person who knows me best. I would never choose someone else over you!”

Not again, anyway.

Not while knowing what the cost of it might be.

Of course even in that other future he’d thought he’d been acting for Nie Mingjue’s good. He’d thought he was helping. He had trusted Jin Guangyao's sweet words, trusted the power of Cleansing, trusted… 

Nie Mingjue freed one of his hands, and leaned closer to rub circles on Lan Xichen's back, encouraging him to breathe. It was Lan Xichen's worst attack since the night he awoke with memories not quite his own. Panic and guilt mixed together, closing his throat tighter so no air could get to his lungs. It lasted long enough that Lan Xichen wondered if it might be possible for him to die like this. 

Just as soon as that idea hit him, his body's desperate need for air became stronger than the power of his memories, and he was able to take one shaky breath. He gasped and coughed, all too aware of the eyes of other patrons on him, while Nie Mingjue continued rubbing his back. 

"Wipe your face," Nie Mingjue gently ordered when his friend had calmed down, handing him a napkin. "Do you need to go out for some fresh air, or do you prefer to sit?" 

"Sit," Lan Xichen replied in a raspy voice as he dried his tears. "Sorry. It happens sometimes. It looks worse than it is."

Nie Mingjue said nothing. A fresh pot of tea was ordered, which soothed Lan Xichen's poor throat and warmed him up again. He still felt a little fragile, but put on a smile to hide it. This, in turn, only made Nie Mingjue frown. 

"Your uncle told me he was worried about your health when I saw him some weeks ago, but I didn't realise it was this bad."

"My health is fine," Lan Xichen protested. After one sharp look from his friend, he continued: "It really isn't that bad. I've been a little anxious, that's all. It's hard not to be in the current climate." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Haven't the Wen just absorbed another sect?" 

Nie Mingjue grimly nodded. The leader of a sect had just died, and Wen Ruohan had promptly married his youngest son to the man's daughter and claimed the whole sect. It was not something they could openly discuss, but the issue was serious and should have distracted Nie Mingjue from the panic attack he'd witnessed. 

It did not quite work. 

"Your uncle too mentioned something about that when I saw him. He used to be pretty sure nothing would happen, but lately he's been keeping me updated on that sort of news." 

Lan Xichen hesitated. His plan regarding the war, so far, had been to stay out of things. The Sunshot campaign appeared to him like a terrible thing that could not, should not be avoided, like a great fire that would allow for a healthier regrowth. Perhaps he might have hoped to lessen the damage, but ultimately nothing less than a war could rid them of Wen Ruohan. 

That plan to allow for the war to unfold naturally was countered by two things. 

The first was that Lan Xichen had already changed the way it would happen. If everything went as he hoped, Meng Yao would never become a spy amidst the Wens, something which had been crucial to their victory (or something that had appeared to be so to the man Lan Xichen had become; he was ever so fond of that Meng Yao, perhaps the memories of that dark future were tainted by that). It was after all unlikely that the Jiangs would ever give Meng Yao any help to join Lanling Jin, his first step toward spying on Wen Ruohan… and that was supposing Meng Yao even survived long enough to take part in the war, when most of Yunmeng Jiang was fated to be slaughtered.

And this was the second issue with Lan Xichen’s initial plan. He had, from the start, been uncomfortable with allowing the slaughter of the Lotus Pier to happen, even when it would someday become agreed that nothing less than this attack on a Great Sect could have convinced the cultivation world to finally rebel against the Wens. But just because people in the future found ways to justify that disaster didn’t make it right to do nothing to avoid it. Lan Xichen was taking measures to protect his sect, wasn’t it his responsibility to also help others?

Having been cursed with that knowledge, wasn’t it his duty to…

“Breathe,” Nie Mingjue said, his hand on Lan Xichen’s shoulder once more. “Slowly, breathe in, breathe out. There you go.”

Lan Xichen obeyed, and managed to avoid another attack, though only narrowly, and only because the fear of the Sunshot Campaign was his alone. The man he would have become had made his peace with the horror witnessed during that time, but Lan Xichen himself was overcome by terror every time he thought about what was to come.

It was a burden too heavy for his shoulders alone, and he alone couldn’t have done much to prevent that dark future from coming to pass, at least where that war was concerned.

So perhaps he needed to not do it alone. What good had secrets done to Jin Guangyao, to Nie Huaisang, in that future that would not be? It had turned them into monsters, bitter and too willing to hurt others, and for what? Jin Guangyao had lost everything, Nie Huaisang had become isolated from everyone who had ever cared about him, and all just because they wanted to be in control, because they thought nobody around them was worthy of being told the truth.

Lan Xichen refused to become like them

“Mingjue-xiong, do you trust me?” he asked when he had calmed down again, and breathing wasn’t such a struggle.

“You wouldn’t be my friend if I didn’t trust you,” came the answer, honest and earnest and so painful that Lan Xichen thought panic would seize him again over that underserved trust.

But this time he managed to keep his calm, either because he was too exhausted to panic again, or because his mind saw this as a chance to right some of the wrong he would have caused in the future.

“I have something to tell you,” Lan Xichen said as he stood up. “But we’ll need to be somewhere more private. It’s going to sound completely crazy to you, but… you need to know.”

Nie Mingjue looked worried but quietly stood up as well. They left the inn together and took flight, making their sword rise high in the sky, where no one might spy on them without their notice.

“So, here is what happened,” Lan Xichen explained when he felt he could do it safely. “Around this time last year, I had a vision…”

He wouldn’t, couldn’t say everything, because it would have been too cruel to plague Nie Mingjue with the knowledge of his own early death, to tell him how loss and rage would turn his beloved brother into a man he might have despised. But the rest, the Wen’s exactions, the war that loomed over them… this Lan Xichen shared with more details than he’d ever given to Lan Qiren. Nie Mingjue listened, first with astonishment, then with concern, eventually with anger. 

"Are you sure?" Nie Mingjue asked when Lan Xichen had finished a quick tale of what was to come. 

"I know it's odd, and I won't blame you if you find it impossible to believe." 

Nie Mingjue did not reply right away, a deep frown creasing his forehead. 

"You've already had proof, and you're sure of it. That's good enough for me. Now let's find a quiet place to talk about this. I'll need you to tell me everything you remember about the Wen's forces, so I can start preparing." 

Lan Xichen felt breathless again, but this time it was gratitude overwhelming him. He'd forgotten how good Nie Mingjue was. Those last few months had spoiled so much, souring old memories, but there had been such great times before that. There would be even more, in this new life, this new chance they'd been given. 

This time, he swore to himself, he would be worthy of that affection.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Scattered AU Conclusion

To tie up the Scattered AU, I have written a short conclusion. I can't even express how much I've enjoyed working with all of you on this, and once again I have to say I've been absolutely blown away by the number of contributions there were. I am so happy that this idea was loved, and I hope all of you continue to take joy from it even after the official end of the event. Once again, thank you.

I tried to cover as many Hermits as I could here, but my energy ran out partway through. Feel free to add on an ending for anyone I've missed. Also, it's worth mentioning that this conclusion is not the only possible ending and does not overwrite any other endings submitted for the AU. This universe is a multi-branched thing, and the timeline of the story is flexible depending on what makes you happy. With that being said, I hope you enjoy this small effort to keep up with all your boundless creativity. 💙

After a long discussion, the Hermits decide to stay in the season 8 world instead of starting a new one. They will take this broken wreck of a place and turn it into something beautiful, just like they have every season. They will heal alongside the world they created, fixing what glitches remain as they support each other and make their best effort at recovery.

Impulse settles in the desert, with Tango and Zedaph close by him. The hot air stings his transformed body, but he is more than done with water for now. Maybe one day he will return to it - but not this season. For now, he keeps the air in his base humid, learns to build with sandstone, and invites his friends over often. Sometimes they talk about the things they all went through, but mostly, they just talk about all the normal things friends talk about. How their day went, what might be causing Tango's latest farm to malfunction, how Zed is going to pull off his next wild plan... they're just glad to have each other back. They're just happy to not have to be alone and afraid anymore.

Cleo is rezombified with the help of Joe, Stress, and False, as soon as they can manage it. Nobody really understands why she wants that, but no-one really needs to - it's her choice. It's what she needs to feel whole again. Seeming vital and normal to the outside world is not nearly as important to her as being herself is, and the others are glad to see her back to her former undead glory. Returned to her familiar form, she laughs and jokes in a way much more alive than she ever seemed when her heart was actually beating.

Jevin keeps every single axolotl he found on his and X's journey through the caves. His mind returned slowly back to normal after Xisuma fixed the plugins, and focusing on the adorable creatures helped him to control the lingering aggressive tendencies as he recovered. Now, when another Hermit seems to be having a hard time, he'll let them borrow an axolotl to take care of until they feel better. It helps to ground them and give them a sense of control, and reminds them all how lucky they are to be alive in this strange, updated world.

Scar struggled. For a long time after the events of the early season, he struggled. He claimed he could control this new level of Vex power, but more and more, he felt as though he was being subjected to it rather than using it. He could feel himself slipping more and more every day, and it scared him, so much that he couldn't even say anything...but the others noticed. Cub's own connection to the Vex told him that this wasn't a sustainable way for Scar to live. Together with Mumbo, he formed a plan. Using Mumbo's new Evoker power, they summoned the Vex that was controlling Scar and broke its hold. Scar is more vulnerable to deals with the Vex now, and it will be a long time before he can visit the End again without feeling weak, but he's more than happy to feel like himself again. Eventually, TFC talks him through his fear of the End - talking himself through his own fear in the process. He offers to go with Scar the first time he decides to return. Both of them find the obstacle more manageable with a friend.

Ren, Grian, and Doc find themselves drawn to each other even after things go back to "normal", not wanting to be alone again. In fact, many of the groups that formed in the more than a year since the world started remain intact. Whether for comfort or protection, or just sharing resources, the Hermits continue to rely on each other. That trio specifically has something new in common - with Grian's new foxlike features, they are all mob hybrids now. They share experiences and support each other, and they can often be found gathering around a fire to tell stories. None of them particularly fancies the cold anymore.

After all that they went through, nobody feels very strongly about banning Evil Xisuma again. His crimes are so far in the past by now, and it feels wrong to condemn him to a future of darkness and isolation when he's already gone through so much of that this season. He doesn't live on the server permanently, preferring to wander off and cause mischief elsewhere, but when he does visit Hermitcraft he stays with Hypno. They bond over a desire to stay on the outskirts and a persistent fear of flowers. They live in a base in the ocean, not a blossom in sight.

XB and Iskall live in the jungle, close enough to see each other but far enough so they don't feel pressured to talk. Both of them feel slightly guilty for getting separated in the desert, but neither of them want to be the first to apologize. Their conversation happens in stops and starts, not in one big rush - but they get there. Eventually, they get there.

Etho drifts. For what seems like an age after the glitches are fixed, he drifts. He talks to the Beetlejhost, sends messages through him sometimes, even manages to manifest in a way others can see occasionally - but that takes a lot of energy. Mostly, he just drifts. He hovers especially around Xisuma, who works for hours on fixing his code. The world can't be considered fixed until everyone is here. Nothing can be fully right until all of his Hermits are safe. It's the hardest admin challenge he's taken on yet, but it's worth it. When he gets to finally hug Etho again, it's worth it. When he brings him to the shopping district and presents him to the other Hermits with tired eyes and a grateful heart, here and real and alive again, it's worth it. It is more than worth it.

Nothing will ever be the same again. That much is obvious. Though the world was fixed and the season went on, the physical changes and emotional wounds are too lasting to be erased, no matter how much time goes by and how much the Hermits support each other. No matter what, the things they went through are unforgettable. Nothing will ever be the same again - but it doesn't need to be.

What is broken will heal back differently, what was changed will be adapted to. New things will be created, new habits will be formed, and for each new fear and trauma there will be a new kindness to match. It won't erase what happened, won't make the pain of the past any less real - but it will help. Healing is not a return to one's original state. Healing is progress. And, together, the Hermits are making progress.

-----------------------------------------------

And, there it is! The inbox will stay closed for another day after this (because I do occasionally need a break), and then it will be open again for regular Hermitcraft headcanons. If you have made any art or writing for the Scattered AU that hasn't been posted yet, please feel free to send that in too! Chances are if you just tagged this blog without sending me a link, it probably got lost in the flood of notifications.