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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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Entry 7: Rich Dad 4903

Trigger warning: mentions of child protection services and custody issues

In the past 8 months, a lot has happened. Despite my reservations, I asked the magistrate to give Kalvin another chance. During the court hearing, the CPS worker suggested that he should only have supervised visitation with Jack. This made me worried about the implications it would have on Jack’s martial arts, as his dad is his coach. I also worried about his relationships with his brother, dog, and friends from the dojo. I felt guilty and made excuses for Kalvin’s behavior, but the thought of doing everything alone again along with everything else on my plate was terrifying.

There has to be a way to support a relationship between them, with at least giving me some time for my own sanity.

“I would like to propose a new plan, your honor.” I say. The CPS workers eyes widen as she looks at me with confusion.

Desperate for a solution, I proposed a new plan to the judge that would support a safe environment for Jack while reducing Kalvin’s stress levels. I wanted to maintain Jack’s relationship with his little brother and not affect his karate training. After some discussion, our new plan was put in place. I would have Jack 80% of the time and take him to school every day, as well as drive him to karate on my days. His brother would also be present during their time together. Kalvin enrolled in anger management again and signed a stipulation agreement to no corporal punishment…Not that Kalvin ever followed the rules.

By the end of the hearing, I felt more confident that I could support him while taking care of myself, as long as he wasn’t cutting weight for a fight, everything should be fine..Right? The only one the plan was more difficult for was me.

After two years of splitting parenting duties 50/50, my life suddenly became much more complicated. To make things even more challenging, the new parenting plan was put into effect the same month that I had launched my fourth company. Although the newest company was taking off, I found myself constantly distracted by other issues. I was dealing with the consequences of fraud against my wellness company, banking problems associated with being associated with the cannabis industry and a costly mistake in trying to bring on a new sleazy partner right before the pandemic.

And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I was hit with a crushing abandoned purchase order that cost me a staggering $90,000. I was scrambling to make payments to my debtors that funded the international order by a man who had evaporated into thin air. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty hopeless about my ability to recover from all of this. Despite my distrust for pretty much all men, and most people in general, I knew I needed to let go of control and ask for help. I needed a team, I needed investment.

Four days away from an investor summit in Miami, I received an exciting invitation. Alexandra from the Charleston group told me that my cannabis brand was amazing and that it would be a breath of fresh air to pitch something so unique in front of nearly 100 vetted investors. My products sat at the intersection of two rapidly growing markets, sexual wellness and cannabis. If my pitch didn’t turn heads in a room full of dusty, middle aged, wealthy, male investors, certainly nothing would.

She even offered to let me pitch for free if I brought swag bags with samples for 120 people. Ecstatic about this opportunity, I scraped together my money and bought a ticket to Florida, even though it was the second trip I would need to take that weekend. California and Florida in the same day. The thought made my head spin. As challenging as these endeavors were, I was determined not to miss out on this opportunity.

Jack was competing towards his first official world title, and I was competing to win the attention of millionaires and billionaires. As important as this opportunity was, there is no way I could cancel my trip to prepare, I had to watch Jack shine and support him. I had to make both happen.

Especially with the wedge Kalvin had begun to drive between Jack and I. “He doesn’t need therapy!” Kalvin would insist, “He needs a mom who cares about him and doesn’t party!” His words made me boil with anger. Other than my brief 3 day Playa trip, I practically hadn’t even been out since May. I had given up every single self-serving thing in my life for Jack and for my companies over the last several months. I hadn’t even gotten my nails done since August. I gave up everything to make Jack feel loved, but now Kalvin had convinced him otherwise.

My baby boy, the one I would do anything for, was convinced that I was trying to ruin his life by “taking his dad away” from him, when in reality, I was responsible for convincing the court to keep him in it at all.

I worked feverishly building out the most intricate and beautiful pitch deck ever seen. Every page meticulously designed with expert attention to detail: pinks, blues and cream colors, complete with custom infographics that matched our brand kit. It was clean, it was sexy.

My newly strategized plan for the company started to excite me. I had new found confidence that I could explode my growth, if I just had the right support…and well…money. I excitedly send the deck over to Alexandra and the phone call I received, crushed my spirits yet again.

“Kate, I had no idea your company was so small! It looks like a multi-million dollar brand” she states emphatically. “Take it as a compliment.” Compliments don’t pay the bills… I think to myself. This comment was like hearing, “I am sorry, you are just over qualified! We will keep your resume on file.” When you so desperately needed the job.

“The people going in front of these investors need to be raising a minimum of 1-2 Million dollars, not the mere $60k you are looking for, I am sorry! But, the good news is, you will get to brush shoulders with multiple investors that just might be looking!”

I’ll take a million dollars. I thought to myself, I just needed to prove that what I had created was worth it.

I worked around the clock to craft the most beautiful cloth bags you had ever seen, complete with vivid, ironed on logos representing my three most recent brands that I would be representing at the summit.

Let’s see, 3 minutes of heat and firm pressure per bag + 2 minute cry sesh + unexpected trips to the store for more ink + nozzle head printer errors x 120 bags = no sleep for Kate yet again. I swear…my fucking printer will someday be the straw that breaks my back.

The all in cost for the bags and samples alone? Over $2000. My desire for perfection in branding had both its benefits and drawbacks. In this case, it became a curse. Despite this, donating the bags was a huge money-saver compared to the steep $10,000 fee required for everyone else to attend.…or at least Alexandra had tried to convince me of this after I discovered this expensive and wildly inconvenient trip was merely to “brush shoulders” and give away free shit.

Nonetheless, after a few sleepless nights, a meltdown in front of innocent onlookers at Office depot, and several cursing sessions at my printer, I was ready.

I begrudgingly decided to still go to Miami, for less than 25 hours. I would literally be flying from coast to coast in one day. 3 red eye flights for someone with a flying phobia and currently on a paupers budget is definitely not ideal.

The bags were finally complete and just had to be stuffed, with samples and literature. I picked up the Friday night shame-fest special: A giant Dr. Pepper and a 2600 calorie meal from Smash burger, after all, I’d earned it. I headed home to pull yet another all nighter. As I set up my assembly line of swag stuffing, I noticed a notification pop up on my screen, it was Dr. Sal. “Kate, can we please chat, I just want to see those eyes again.”

Having not talked since I left Mexico last week, I was taken aback when he requested a video call. But, I was feeling a bit lonely and bored, and with my night merely consisting of stuffing bags, and my face-with truffle fries- ahead of me, I figured some entertainment from the friendly Canadian narcissist wouldn’t hurt. “What harm could it possibly do?” I asked myself. Plus, I was on to his ego-stroking ways.

As I nestled into my snug leather couch, I carefully propped up my phone on the coffee table, prepared for the moment when he would call. And when he did, I had to do a double take, for he was much more handsome than I remembered! Despite being in the midst of a blizzard, he was radiantly beaming, bundled up in a dashing black pea coat that complemented his rugged charm perfectly.

I couldn’t help but notice the exquisite details that I had overlooked before. His broad, sturdy shoulders exuded strength and stability, while his black beard with salt and pepper streaks lent him an air of distinguished maturity. His hair was luxuriously thick and his dark eyes sparkled with a both mystery and new warmth and kindness that I hadn’t seen before.

At Illios, the Greek restaurant in Playa, I was on high alert and my guard was up, but now, as I saw him on the screen, my defenses melted away. We spoke for hours and I shared with him the struggles I had been facing, and he encouraged me, sharing his own story of being a Phoenix that had risen from the ashes. I quickly had to remind myself of all of the red flags I had already seen!

The way he looked at me, the way he spoke, would make the unsuspecting girl melt, but me? I knew better. He doted on me and told me how amazing it is to watch a hustler in action. “Your drive is so sexy.” Sal says, as he sensually bites the corner of his lip, then grins sheepishly. “You know, it is rare to find someone who has it all, the looks, the determination—-the dance moves.” He winks at me, with a that sparkle in his dark eyes and I feel a tiny jolt of excitement. He really was cute.

“Kate, there is something about you, so fresh, so new, so captivating. I just want to have the chance to get to know you, if you just give me the opportunity.” he says. “You have been working so hard, and I recognize that. I have an idea. I want you to come to Alberta, just for a weekend. I want to spoil you: Massages, nice dinners, some shopping and botox. It will be my treat, you just need to give me your time, and you will be wildly rewarded.” Wildly rewarded? I wonder to myself, what does he mean by that? “There is something about you that has a hold on me, and I just can’t get you out of my head. You have been on my mind since the very moment I laid eyes on you that first night at Bandido’s. I saw that guy all over you and it actually made me jealous.”

Geez…I think to myself…jealous of someone he just met when he was the one on a date! Red Flag!

He is future painting again, trips, shopping, BOTOX? Gosh, I miss my botox, I think to myself as I look at my image on the video screen. I really do need it, I’m looking rundown, tired and kind of sad, he must have noticed too. My self care budget had been the first to go as I struggled regain control of my business. I had been paying the price for someone else’s sins again, it just felt that life was never quite fair.

“Where is the summit?” Dr. Sal asks.

My mind was loosening up to the possibility of continuing to entertain this guy, and my bored, lonely self. It’ll just be a social experiment, I tell myself. I’m strong enough. I know all the signs and have been able to leave easily at the first sign of danger… I’ll even keep a journal of all the things he does along the way. A journal I can look back on when I start to question my own feelings and sanity. If I am careful, I can date this guy for fun and attention and come out even stronger on the other side. What could possibly go wrong? I eat reg flags for breakfast.

“The Biltmore Hotel” I reply.

“Is that where you are staying?” he asks. The question makes me a little uncomfortable. I am not sure I should tell him where I am staying, as he basically has stalked me across two continents by now.

“To be honest, I don’t know yet. It depends on how many sales I have between now and Monday, the Biltmore is like $600 a night, so no matter what, there is no way I am staying there!” I exclaim.

“Kate, you have never had a someone truly support you, have you?” He asks me, pity in his eyes.

“No, not really.” I reply softly.

“I want to get to know you and support you and your dreams. I have never felt this strong for someone so quickly.” Internally my stomach knots, instant red flag. Kalvin said all the exact same things to me in the beginning. Narcissists will try to make you feel like you are special, unique and valued to get you to put down your guard. They put you on a pedestal just to knock you right back down again when you are least suspecting.

“Check your messages!” he says with a sly, mischievous grin. “I have a little surprise for you.”

I open my messages and there is a screenshot of a receipt under my name for a king room at the Biltmore. Total: $594.81 PAID IN FULL

Wow…this guy really is something…

“Kate, I am on your team. I want to be your support system, the one you can count on.” he sweetly says. Despite the blazing red flags, my guard starts to slowly lower. “Thank you so much Sal, you don’t have any idea how much this means to me.” I say softly, genuinely grateful for this gesture, despite whatever his motive may be.

I start floating in the clouds and just as I begin to think maybe I was wrong about him, I notice the email address on the very bottom.

Purchaser’s email: richdad******@****.com

YEP and there it is! I tell myself, as I fall right back down on my ass to reality, This guy does this shit all the time! GROSS. However, the idea of a sugar daddy that is only a few years older than me who is actually moderately attractive, is not that repulsive of an idea after all. I dated Phil for 4 years before realizing he had a profile up scouring the internet for young and desperate, naive girls with a taste for Prada.

I went to great lengths to show my love and affection towards Phil – from elaborate birthday breakfasts in bed to an expensive trip to a beautiful treehouse in the woods that cost me a third of my income for the month. I also made sure to give thoughtful gifts and cards for each and every holiday. Despite my efforts, he never seemed to reciprocate in the same way. It took over three years for him to even get me a birthday present. While I appreciated the trips we went on together, it seemed like he only gave back if he knew there was something in it for him – like a weekend of great sex.

And now Dr. Sal had gifted me this room, with nothing in it for him at all…or was there?

I deserve to be spoiled. Is that what his goal is? I ask myself. There’s only one way to find out. There is no shame in my game now.

The tournament in California just the day before, had greeted me with a freak LA blizzard warning and freezing cold rain. To top it off I got to spend my weekend around Kalvin. I had modified the no contact order a few years back so I could be as involved as possible with Jack’s sports and still be safe. This would mean from time to time I had to be face to face with Kalvin, and this was one of those times.

I never knew how things would go. He used every tournament as an opportunity to get in my head, or make me feel bad for him. Earlier this year he told me and the staff at the dojo that his girlfriend, that we had never met, died of cancer. He posted a photo of them on his Instagram highlights during October for cancer awareness.

To honor her memory, he embroidered her name on his uniform belt and raised funds for the American cancer society. However, what he didn’t know was five months after her death, she had reached out to me from beyond the grave. She wasn’t dead at all! She revealed that he had become obsessively infatuated with her after just one date. He had shown up at her church uninvited, and didn’t even announce himself, yet texted her to tell her how she had looked good that day. He even attempted to send wine to her new boyfriend’s vacation home. As a final attempt to win her over, he sent her the picture of her name embroidered on his belt, “So I can keep you in my thoughts and prayers”, he had told her. This was the last straw.

She had to block him and was so disturbed by his red flags she felt she had to get deeper intel on how dangerous he really was. So she “ghosted him” and messaged me a few months later to ask if I thought he had moved on. Although she was alive, she was dead to him. It was not the first time that Kalvin had become fixated on someone after just one date. The lengths that this narcissist would go to to push his agenda, was truly psychotic. I shudder at the fact that my son has him as a role model for anything other than karate.

“That’s how he was with me, I totally get it, I’m so glad you saw the red flags and listened to your gut”, I reassured her, “he has certainly moved on by now.”

Or had he?

He mentioned, even recently, how devastated he was by her death, and their whirlwind 6 month relationship as he points to his embroidered belt with her name draped in the locker room in her memory.

I would certainly fake my own death to get away from him I could…I ponder how I can pull this off…as I chuckle to myself yet wince at just how crazy my son’s own father is.

The very first time I went to his house, about two weeks after we started dating, he excitedly showed me what he had done to the place. He had recently moved in and was an incredibly skilled artist and interior decorator, but one particular finishing touch he added would have any level headed woman run for their damn lives, but not me!

I was deeply infatuated with him just a few short weeks behind his pace. It turns out six pack abs, and a recent divorce, makes you a perfectly candidate for love bombing. I was putty in his manipulative hands. I take a moment and thank Jesus Christ himself that I had bailed on the matching tattoo appointment that he had scheduled for our 30 day anniversary.

In his immaculately clean bedroom, was a large king bed that was neatly made, a pristine white chiffon canopy adorning all four corners. But, that’s not what got my attention. On the night stand next to the bed was a dark, wooden frame, accompanied on either side with a vase of fresh flowers and deliciously scented vanilla candles. Inside the frame, a photo of me. Initially my eyes widened in confusion,“Where did you get that picture?” I asked with surprise. “I found them on your Facebook and just snagged them.” My gut starts to tighten as we weren’t even connected on social media yet, or so I thought.

He can sense my trepidation. “You are so gorgeous Kate, and I want everyone to know that you’re my girlfriend, that’s all!” Ok…I think to myself, it’s actually kind of sweet when you look at it like that. I reassure myself that it’s not a glaring red flag of what-in-the-actual-fuckery.

In 2 other locations in his house he also had candles and small framed portraits of ME, that he had printed, all within 2 weeks of dating. He showed me his meticulously organized and color coordinated closet. He beams with pride as he reveals a huge poster sized image of one of my previous fitness photo shoots. “How unbelievably sweet!” I gushed, to not let him sense my reservations.

I cringe at the thought that I was so unbelievably oblivious to the most blatant red flags in the history of the universe. Now, I get leery if a guy adds me on social media too soon now. But this, takes the award for the brightest red flag I’d seen up until this point in my inexperienced dating life. This flag held the award for the creepiest red flag until the tattoo of my face 2 years later.

7 years later and he still couldn’t let go of me. Any chance he got, he would try to win me back over by telling me in front of Jack how our love deserves another chance. Jack just couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t give his number one hero a chance. Kalvin would strip his clothes off in my line of sight at these tournaments to “remind me what I was missing.” GAG I wasn’t missing any of it. In fact, guys with abs like that now make me uneasy. Abs are definitely overrated, and for the dick? A big dick doesn’t mean anything if it’s attached to a bigger dick.

But this time when he stripped his shirt off to prepare for his next kickboxing match, I actually did see something that excited me. The tattoo! I glance at his chest and examine it. It was faded heavily. I excitedly screech “Oh thank God! You are finally getting it removed?!!” “Yes, and this one too” he points to his most recent ex wife’s name he tattooed next to my face. “I’ve already had 4 excruciating sessions so far, and spent over $2000 and they still aren’t gone!” He grimaced. “Well, maybe you’ll finally learn your lesson this time.” I shrug. It gave me so much satisfaction to watch him pay this small this small price for at least some of his indiscretions.

As I arrive at the Biltmore, I gaze upon it’s gorgeous architecture and breathe in the warm, humid air, a very welcomed feeling after a cold wet weekend with my ex. Right in that very moment, as if he just knew, I get a message from Dr. Sal. “I hope you enjoy your stay. Take a selfie of the princess for me?”

“Thank you, Dr. Sal!” I utter to myself, and snap a photo to oblige his request. I can’t help but feel some similarities between Kalvin and Dr. Sal. Only time will tell, but this time I’m not starting from scratch, I’m starting from experience. I was ready and prepared for any grandiose gestures Sal might send my way. He’s in another country, I’m safe right?

It’s was his game after all, I am just going to play along. Now, the game’s outcome will be in my hands, he just doesn’t know it.

The conference goes as expected. I hang my head in exhaustion and notice several of my beautiful rush-ordered brochures littered around on conference room floor and began to add up the cost of the precious, wrinkled and soiled loot that I had paid to expedite in my head. Awesome….

The conference is full of hot shot men and a few money hungry wives. I was drained of all energy after countless hours of preparation for this potentially life changing “shoulder brushing” and now sick after clearly annihilating my immune system from days of travel, no sleep and a liquid diet of Dr. Pepper. I was burnt out. My normal chipper self was hiding somewhere within the shell of an exhausted, defeated woman, who was dangerously close to calling it all quits and simply getting a job at Costco.

My burnout, disappointment and quite possibly my third round of Covid was getting to me. This is one of my last chances to get out of this hole and save my company, but I feel like I have one foot in the grave. WAKE UP KATE!!! You can’t give up yet! I urge myself.

I go down to the gift shop for some DayQuil and a Red Bull to try to pull myself together. $28.42 Damn, I just want to go home! I think to myself as I reluctantly hand over my debit card.

I watched the other 5 people who were in my coveted spot of pitching their concepts. All of them had burned through millions of dollars and were raising millions more and were basically all pre-revenue.

My brand had substance, sales and a mission, but I had to sit back and watch them pat their own backs for simply a dream and a yearly burn rate bigger than my lifetime of earnings. I was nothing like these guys. I had built up my brand with integrity and resourcefulness, but somehow my brand was not taken seriously when it came to trying to get loans, funding or a fair valuation. My sales were over six figures and I was running it myself. If I could just get support, I would be bigger than all of these smooth talking big spenders.

The thought of brushing shoulders with some of these guys made me queasy, nevertheless, I tried. I guess it’s a little early to say if nothing will come from it other than some experience, it’s only been two weeks..but I feel like I need to accept that investment in the Biltmore weekend good as gone.

#surviving narcissism #entreprenuerlife #sociopath #narcissticabuseawareness #investment #abuse mention #red flags #obsession #love bombing #infatuation

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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One of the haters comments did just my wheels turning and this experiment is for my own educational purposes also. 🤔

Looks like I opened a can of worms here…Less than 24 hours after posting my blog on here people are already wishing for my painful demise.

I guess that’s what I get for blasting narcissists behavior not the actual narc themselves. (Plus, most of the writing is from pastimes.)

(Privately, under aliases, of course…because I actually don’t want to ruin their lives…I simply want to train other, unsuspecting women (and men).

Who knew this could be the most controversial blog to find its way to @tumblr today… If you’re on the side I am, and wanting to warn people of these traits, reblog. Let’s get some awareness going.

Hate

No support, just hate.

Try to drag me down, you’ll just add fuel to my fire.

Is going out with narcissist’s on purpose really worthy of telling me I should die a painful death?

I never said I would use their tactics of love bombing, gaslighting, isolation, and certainly not violence, or abuse against them.

I’m just being my fun sweet self and documenting what the tactics they use with my guard up and document the red flags. 🚩The one I’m seeing again tomorrow even had me pay for the drinks last time, we are doing a two hour happy hour, I’m not slashing his tires or promising a whirlwind romance. How evil and demonic of me, right?

Ok, that’s death wish worthy…Right?

I should “die a slow painful death”, for going on a few dates with men that ask ME OUT that I can easily pinpoint as narcs after YEARS of therapy and support Groups.

Outing narcissists can be dangerous. I don’t stick around at all if I find out they have a violent criminal history. I’m just getting to know them and stick around past the first red flags…

All the while I pick up the tab while he showers me with compliments, tells me how crazy his ex is, and how he wants to meet my kid on date one. Then simply go home and Journal about it.

Send me to the slaughter for this…damn.

Tell me what what makes me an abuser for this?

I’m crafting a very creative literary guide with specific, real life examples that people can relate to, so they can protect themselves and leave when the see the red flags, unfortunately for me, I mostly tell stories of when I didn’t see them, and the harm it caused.

#narcissist #dating #npdawareness #red flags #npd problems #narcissismawareness #surviving narcissism #narcissistic #narcissisticrecovery

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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The previews text for this is too hot to show here…click the link for the censored content of entry 6.

Entry 6: Reality check

#sexuality #sexual empowerment #sexy content #sexual health #surviving narcissism #sexualliberation

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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The term "gaslighting" comes from the 1944 film "Gaslight," in which a husband tries to convince his wife that she is going insane by manipulating her environment and denying the reality of events that she has witnessed. Gaslighting can take many different forms, but common tactics include denying the validity of the victim's feelings or experiences, lying or distorting the truth, and using confusion and contradiction to create a sense of uncertainty.

#narcissist #red flags #gaslighting #narcissismawareness

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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Journal Entry 6: Reality Check

TRIGGER WARNING- Domestic Violence, child abuse, sexual assault and NSFW

“He…he… told me I tripped,” Jack said hesitantly as he wiggles uncomfortably on the bench… “but I didn’t, he pushed me because he got mad that I didn’t like my food. I pretended it was ok, but it was disgusting. He was excited to have me try it because it was his favorite kind of sushi roll, I tried to swallow it, but I couldn’t.” he whispered to me, so his friends couldn’t hear.

“The tattoo of my face would remain forever as a reminder of the toxic relationship that I had escaped.”

“Bronco, their enormous Cane Corso, was often an outlet for Kalvin’s wrath, as Jack had previously told both the school counselor and myself. He even bravely confronted his dad in front of me crying when his dad asked him what was going on. “I…I don’t know how you hit my dog..it makes me sad and scared.” Jack said directly.

#narcissist #gaslighting #red flags #narcissismawareness

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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Journal Entry 5: Adios Mexico

As quickly as I arrived in Mexico, it was time to say adios, no rekindling things with Phil, and despite Melania’s best efforts and ferocious swiping, no new flame for either of us to keep us warm in the arctic tundra of Fargo.

Life had been a series of ups and downs. However, I finally upgraded my status and obtained my own airport lounge pass, with the best travel credit card on the planet… the venture x. The $400 fee was offset by $750 in free travel... the benefits don’t mean much when you can’t manage your money and end up with sky high interest and maxed out cards… Nevertheless, although I still occasionally traveled by chicken bus and stayed in hostels, I felt like a boss when I used my pass to enter the lounge without Phil’s platinum Amex.

As I sat at the high bartop stool, I ordered a free frosty mango cocktail and quesadilla. I enjoyed the feeling of being a “baller on a budget” and receiving my free order worth about $24.22. Small victories like this kept me motivated. As I sip on my final Mexican airport cocktail, my mind begins to wander and think of all the stress I had piled on my plate the moment I arrive back home.

I check shopify: 67 orders to fill. Damn..that feels great…but also gets my head spinning..

Most entrepreneurs move from one venture to another, but oh, not me, the multi-tasking maniac. I just keep adding. Four companies now. It’s like an addiction. My plate is full and something has to give. First, I gave up dating and sex, lately, it’s been sleep, next it will be the remaining amount of my sanity. I need some serious help.

Despite working tirelessly and reinvesting every dollar I made, I always felt like it was never enough, but I just received a heartwarming message from my marketing director. She expressed how grateful she was for her job and how it had helped her attend her dream college and graduate debt-free, all while supporting herself and her family.. Although I felt a twinge of jealousy, her message reminded me that the work I am doing is making a big difference in life. I can’t give up, not yet…

Multi-tasking is not something to be proud of. I need to focus on one and let the others go, but I can’t decide the direction. My biggest passion project has been my sexual health and wellness company. My products help women that suffer from pain during sex, and also help increase pleasure. How could I possibly give that up? My design and photography help pay my bills, but my mushroom company is exploding.

My child demands my attention 80% of the time and my mind desperately needs its daily fitness routine. Then there’s skincare, housework, laundry. My friendships and family relationships are also a priority, so what needs to give? I swear. I cannot take add another thing! Buzz…Buzzz. Just as I feel my heart racing and anxiety building. I see a notification from Dr. Sal. My heart jumps a little. The mysterious stalker from Playa.

Buzz…Buzz…another notification….than another…than another. Geez what the hell is this guys problem? I ask myself as I unlock my screen to see what all the fuss is about.

“Hello Pretty lady!”

“This is Sal”

“We met at Illios.”

“Did you put something in my drink, because I suddenly feel crazy”.

“About you…”

Yikes!!!! I think to myself this guy is next level stalker!

“I could be wrong” he continues to text “ but I felt like we both had a certain level of interest in each other. I would love to connect with you. If you are interested let me know, otherwise, I can wish you the best and I will try to get those sexy eyes of yours out of my mind.”

“I hope this is not too direct.”

I promptly respond, “Hey, I think you’re wrong on this one. You were there with a girlfriend, so I wasn’t looking.”

“Hahaha” he quickly texts back.

“Not a girlfriend”

“Just a date for the night.”

“But I have been wrong before.”

What a freaking Liar! I think to myself, as I clearly remembered what she had said, SINCE JANUARY. I decide to call him out.

“My understanding was that you had been traveling together since January.”

“NOOOOOO!!!” he insists “Your intel is not correct…but it doesn’t change the fact that you looked sexy as hell!” His statement makes me audibly chuckle. “Haha! I found it amusing that you asked me if I was “single” single, yes YOU were the one on a date.”

“Well, I AM single and a single date doesn’t change that!” He says. “Want to see where I am now?” he asks, as I roll my eyes. At least this is entertaining. “Sure”, I respond. He sends a photo of an incredible mountain range, with towering peaks stretching up towards the heavens and fluffy white clouds swirling above. It’s like something out of a postcard, or maybe even a dream. I can’t help but feel awestruck by the sheer beauty of it all. It’s not just beautiful, it’s breathtaking. The only mountain I’ve seen lately is my mountain of laundry.

“Fernie, British Columbia, beautiful right?”

“Gorgeous!” I reply.

“Your sexy eyes, and this view, then it would be ideal! I want to take you here on a ski trip, or we can go to Switzerland and ski the alps.” he says.”

“I am an immigrant who is Canadian now, been here since 2007; My heritage is middle eastern, Dubai to be specific. I moved out here for medical school.”

“Gotcha, that’s cool” I reply shortly “So you’re like a retired dentist or something?”

“Haha, if you would have just connected with me on Linkedin.” he responds.

“I don’t feel like you took me seriously at all!”

“I did not.” I say.

“I can tell you don’t take me serious. I am putting effort in here!”

“You have something in you that deeply intrigued me, I am trying to figure that out.” He writes

I reply genuinely, “I will be honest, it takes a lot to grab my attention. I haven’t even been on a date in over seven months.”

“That must be a super hard 7 months, WOW!” he replies.

“Nope!” I say, “I have been too focused on my businesses to even care!”

“That is amazing!”he says. “So the real story is, I saw you the night before on the roof top.

I literally could not take my eyes off you…

Even the girl that was with me was upset with me.

But there was something about your outfit, your energy, it is very sexy.

Now listen, I am a busy guy with work. I find many girls I date don’t get my work demands

They have too much free time on their hands.

I LOVE hustlers. I got to North America in 2002 with a one way ticket and $200 in my pocket. And now I have built up an empire. I have 30 private ER’s, I provide work for over 400 people. I see what I want and go after it. And now, I want you, Kate.”

I feel a flush to my cheeks and quickly try to downplay his words. “Oh really, well me and my friends thought you and your girlfriend wanted a threesome!”

“Hilarious!” he replies “I don’t think that crossed her mind, and I am not into that. I find it amusing that this was the only thought that came to your mind when looking at me.”

“Hey!” I interject, “I wasn’t even looking at you, my friend Melania pointed it out!”

“Wow!” he replies “and I just wanted you..and that is before I knew how smart and driven you are, I just thought you were hot, and I couldn’t hide my attraction from my date. I was in trouble both nights.”

“Ok, I gotta go board my flight Dr. Sal…see I checked your Linkedin” I playfully ignored the entirety of his text.

Wow, this guy is seriously over the top! I mean, come on, it’s obvious he’s a total narcissist, I decided right then and there. (I mean, seriously, did he think his borderline stalking, constant staring, and getting my contact info in front of his date were subtle?) And now, he’s trying to use a little trick called “future painting” to get inside my head and make me think we have some amazing future together. This is like a whole new level of crazy!

So what exactly is “future painting,” you ask? Well, it’s basically when a narcissist plants all sorts of promises and ideas in your head about how wonderful your life will be together. They’ll tell you anything you want to hear – trips, marriage, kids, you name it. And in the beginning, they’re all ears, listening intently to every word you say so they can add it to their “narcissist playbook” for later use. Yep, they’ll use your hopes, dreams, and past traumas to manipulate you down the line.

And don’t be fooled – these guys are masters of pretending to be just like you. “Oh my gosh, purple is your favorite color too? What a coincidence!” Yeah, right. It’s all part of their game to get you hooked on their grand vision for your future together.

🚩details:

#dating #narcissist #red flags #narcissismawareness

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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Journal Entry 4- Some Call it Destiny

Oh, joy! What a fantastic stroke of luck that I managed to secure a table for 12 at the “hottest” restaurant in Playa. It’s not like this place is usually booked out weeks in advance or anything. How delightful. But of course, just as it was time to walk down the vibrant 5th avenue to our coveted reservation, as fate would have it, my crew of fun and rambunctious friends began dropping out like flies, canceling one by one.

By the time we arrived at the restaurant, we went from a table of 12, down to a table of 6. I guess I was one of the few that could run off of 5 hours of sleep, a sunrise and a croissant after a day of sunshine, day drinking and yachting.

I didn’t care, I had my heart set on smashing plates to release some of this pent up energy, and wouldn’t let the weakest links ruin my chance at a good time. Opa!

As the night went on, the restaurant got more crowded and the music got louder. Per usual, Phil wasn’t there on time, I had to wonder if the previous night of watching me flirt had made him change his mind. He was never known to be the jealous type, but I couldn’t help but wonder…Oh well, Melania was set on having me meet someone new, and was swiping her way through bumble from here to Mexico city, but I just wasn’t having it.

I’m a sucker for a good cocktail, and this place wasn’t just known for their plate smashing, and sparklers, they were famous for their gold leaf encrusted desserts and mixology skills. They even made drinks fresh right at your table! I told her my preferences and she whipped up a frothy concoction made with fresh strawberries, and it was delicious.

As I sipped on my drink, I locked eyes with a dark-haired man across from our table. He was sitting with a charming woman, who was lovingly touching his leg, but he was staring right at me. I quickly looked away and sipped on my delicious concoction.

A few minutes later, I wasn’t the only one who noticed his continued stares. Melania tapped my leg and whispered. “That couple over there keeps staring at you, I think they definitely want a threesome.” I laughed hesitantly and glanced across at their table, but he seemed to be the only one looking.

His intense gaze made me feel a mixture of excitement and nerves. I turned away quickly, trying to shake off the feeling. Strangely enough, he looked eerily like Kalvin.

As the night wore on, I found myself stealing glances at the mysterious stranger, and every time I looked, he was already looking at me. He was dark haired with chiseled features and dark eyes. I found myself drawn to him, despite my better judgment.

A few moments later, out of nowhere, a hand landed on my shoulder, and a deep voice, with an accent that I couldn’t quite place, whispered in my ear, “Can I ask you what you are drinking? It looks devine?” I spun around to see the bearded, dark, and handsome man with a mischievous grin on his face. His piercing eyes were both dark and hollow at the same time, and I felt a jolt of electricity course through me.

“If you’ll divulge your secret and order one for me and my date, your next round is on me too”. At $25 a pop, I figured what could that hurt? I hailed over the mixologist and she gladly obliged to our request.

As we chatted, I learned that he and his date met in Tulum last month, and they had been traveling together the last few weeks. He introduced himself as “Doctor” Sal and asked me what I did for a living. I usually hold back from revealing that I own a sexual wellness company, so I simply said I was in the wellness space.

“We might have some synergies” he suggests, “do you have a linkedin. “I do.”, I reply hesitantly as he grabs his phone to look me up. As he pulls up my profile his eyes widen with interest as he reads my headline. He reads it out loud. “Giving Woman the Power to Sexual Freedom and Pleasure.” I feel heat and redness instantly flush my cheeks. I feel the daggers from his dates eyes. Now, not only is she jealous of his stolen glances at me, she must think I’m a total prostitute.

Great…now this guy is going to find out I make lube, that seems to draw men in faster than a a giant set of double d boobs. LinkedIn for fucks sake, I thought I had heard it all.. If the looks from his date could kill, I would be long dead, cold and buried.

Like adding me on linkedin suddenly made the blatant obvious attempt to get my contact info, innocent. Ok cupcake… I was taken aback by his boldness, but also couldn’t deny the thrill of it all. We clinked our glasses and I quickly retreat back to my table.

At one point, I excused myself from our prime location in the restaurant and made my way past him avoiding eye contact to avoid any potential interaction, but I could feel his eyes follow me until I disappeared down the winding staircase to the ornate washrooms. I just had this feeling he would be following me shortly. Where the hell is Phil? I wondered. This would never happen if he was here.

As I touched up my lipstick in the mirror, memories flooded my mind of my ex-husband, who used to stare at me with those same dark stares when I danced at the tavern before we even met. No matter where I was at in the building, he always had his eyes on me. The last thing I wanted to do was be reminded of Kalvin. Oh, the things that a little bit of liquor can do to a girl. I still hadn’t heard from Phil, it’s not like it mattered. I wasn’t there to rekindle anything, I just missed him. I wish I didn’t but I did.

I walked around the corner, sure enough, the mysterious doctor stepped out of the shadows and leaned in close to me, whispering in my ear, “You know I saw you last night at Clandestine, and I saw your energy as you danced and I was so drawn to you. I couldn’t take my eyes of you all night, and my date was not happy about it. I feel like it has to be destiny that I ran into you again. Your dress was so stunning and the way you danced captivated me, you were in your own little world. You are the only girl I’ve ever seen in Mexico, wearing winter boots with a dress.”

I felt a flutter in my stomach to find out I had been being watched not only that night, but the night before. Gosh, did the peeping doctor get a glimpse of my nipples?? I feel my cheeks instantly blush. Did he really see me? Of course he did, he mentioned the name of the club and described in detail what I had been wearing, I instantly regretted going braless.

My loose dress with my potentially visible tits and dancing like a fool would have drawn even a gay man’s attention. I am usually hyper aware of my surroundings. But when I’m with Phil, I let my guard down. After a few drinks, I’m as clueless as a toddler and could easily be whisked away into the night by some kidnapper.

“Are you “single” single” I just have to get your number?” he slyly asks.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You are asking me if I am “single” single? You are the one on the date, sir!” I snarkily snapped back.

“I am not with her, we are just on a date, and I don’t think it’s by accident I am seeing you two nights in a row, it has to be destiny!” I roll my eyes as I clearly remember her telling me they had been traveling together for weeks.

He tells me he is a doctor that doesn’t practice anymore but owns multiple practices across Canada, he was just in Aruba, and other ego stroking gibberish. I hardly pay attention to a word he is saying, as I am internally squirming at the idea that I essentially had someone watching me the last two days.

Buzz, Buzz… I get a text from Phil, he had finally arrived, an hour after our reservation…typical. He had never been much for eating a big meal, even despite his size. His days were typically fueled with other substances that quelled his appetite, or maybe he was simply fueled by his buffet of young women he had at his disposal.

I quickly obliged to Dr. Sal’s request for my What’s App so I could excuse myself from the conversation without the chance for any resistance from him. He is from Canada after all, how harmful could it be??

I return to my table and Phil stands up to greet me, he hugs me and I melt into his big, burly arms, the intoxicating scent of his cologne suddenly arouses me. As much as the guy has hurt me, I always have this sense of peace and calm when I am with him.

As for Dr. Sal, I had written him off already.

#narcissist #dating #red flags #stalking

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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Journal Entry 3- Namaste

Ugh, this is why I don’t drink anymore, I thought as I peeled myself out of bed, feeling like a human piñata after a night of indulgence. But there was no time to dwell on my questionable choices, I had a sunrise yoga class on the beach to attend.

Most people on vacation would opt for a lazy morning in bed, but not me. Oh no, I was a total masochist, running on fumes and pushing myself to the limit as I tried to conquer the world one business venture at a time. I had even at one point in the night woken in a night terror, scaring Melania shitless as she attempted to wake me from my apparent screams…This would result in being banished to the couch for the remainder of the trip..but could anyone really blame her? Early in our friendship, she had done the same to me. I didn’t even know she spoke Russian until that night when she woke me up shrieking in Russian. I thought she was possessed by the devil himself, so maybe this was a form of pay back. Apparently, lack of sleep and PTSD can turn anyone into a bit of a wild card. It makes me wonder, how many times do I wake up in my own bed screaming, with no one to wake me?

As I walked down the dirt path that would lead to the beach, it was finally getting light enough to see. There it was…the ocean. Gosh I want to bring Jack here, I thought to myself as I inched closer and closer to the sand.

Jack is my adorable, stud muffin of a child, who always kept me on my toes.

At only 8 years old, he had the spirit and attitude of a teenager and an unstoppable drive to succeed. He was already making waves as the youngest member of Team USA for karate, having won several amateur world titles. It was clear that he inherited his father’s talent, who was a 16-time world champion in kickboxing and a 7th-degree black belt. Jack had more talent in his pinky finger than most kids twice his age had in their entire bodies. As he grew older, our relationship evolved from “Mommy” to “Mom” to “Bruh,” but despite missing him, I knew that the break from him that weekend was well-earned.

Despite the chaos and sleep deprivation, yoga was my saving grace. It was like a reset button for my mind and body, helping me to stay centered and sane in the midst of a breakup, co-parenting with a narcissist, and juggling multiple businesses. So bring on the sunrise and the sweat, because I was ready to namaste my way to sanity.

As I started my practice, I closed my eyes and focused on my breath. The movements of the poses felt like a meditation, and I felt myself becoming more centered and grounded with each one. It was like all the stress and chaos of my life was melting away, if only for a little while.

As the sun began to rise, I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful sunrise. The colors of the sky were a mixture of pink, yellow, and orange, and it was breathtaking. In that moment, I felt a sense of peace and contentment that I hadn’t felt in a long time. This had been a rough, frigid winter of let down, after let down.

The salty air filled my lungs and for the moment, I merely existed.

After the class, I went for a swim in the ocean and felt invigorated by the cool water. As I swam, I thought about how important it was to take care of myself, both mentally and physically. I had once been so focused on building my businesses and taking care of my son that I had neglected my own well-being. But now, I was making a conscious effort to prioritize myself and my own happiness.

As I walked back to my hotel room, I felt a sense of gratitude for this unplanned spontaneous vacation and the chance to recharge and refocus. I was grateful Melania had talked me into it, despite the ups and downs of the night before. I knew that the challenges of my life wouldn’t disappear overnight (like Phil would), but I also knew that I had the strength and resilience to face them head-on. And with yoga, the ocean, and a little bit of tequila (in moderation), I knew I could handle anything that came my way.

#yoga #beach yoga #entreprenuerlife #narcissist

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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Journal Entry 2- Bandido’s

Melania has been on a mission to get me back on the dating scene, and I can’t blame her. After my unexpected, yet inevitable breakup with Phil, I had sworn off men for good. I even took a vow of celibacy until I hit a certain number in my bank account with my companies, and I have been as motivated as ever.

Melania herself has a track record of poor choices in partners. She recently discovered that her live-in boyfriend was leading a secret life, complete with cross-dressing, meth use and hooking up with men from grinder. Not exactly the kind of girl you want as a wing-woman. Melania can’t see a red flag if it knocked her upside her gorgeous head.

She unknowingly once tried to set me up with a guy who turned out to be a full-blown narcissist that she knew through her real estate connections. From the moment I met him, I could sense something was off. His piercing blue eyes and charming smile seemed too good to be true. I sniffed that narc out within 15 minutes of knowing him.

His overzealous desire to help me find a new place to live after finding out my place flooded, and wanting to “get the kids together for a play date” after knowing him no more than 20 minutes, to him gentlemanly walking me outside to my car and “accidentally” hitting the unlock button on his bright orange Lamborghini so I would see that what he drove… red flag, red flag, red flag…I just knew.

I didn’t let his smooth talk fool me. Within 12 hours, I had dug up his extensive criminal history, which he had gone to great lengths to hide. But with my ungodly skills at internet sleuthing, I was able to unearth the truth and send multiple screenshots to Melania, confirming my suspicions.

The news traveled like a wildfire, burning through the town and leaving a trail of stunned onlookers in its wake. The man had been outed, exposed for the manipulative narcissist that he was. But I couldn’t take the blame for it all, oh no. After all, who doesn’t love a juicy story? I only told two people, but somehow the entire city of Fargo was reeling from the scandal.

I blocked him on every platform imaginable after simply telling him we weren’t compatible, only for him to anguish with questions of why someone, who clearly was used to getting what he wanted, would be left with absolutely not an inkling to why he was suddenly rejected. I knew from experience that narcissists can charm their way out of any situation, and I wasn’t about to let myself be manipulated again.

When he reached out to Melania to ask her why I had blocked him, she just told him she had no idea… If you know a thing about narcissists, you know this type of lack of control will drive them to the insane asylum.

Lesson learned. I wouldn’t give that manipulative narcissist a second glance. And as for the wildfire of rumors spreading about him? Let it burn.

Kalvin, my ex-husband, was a master of manipulation. He had a track record of working his charms on unsuspecting partners, and his third wife after me was no exception. She was originally a stay-at-home mom, used to the luxurious country club lifestyle provided by her successful husband.

But she left it all behind for a man with a 400 credit score and a Napoleon complex standing at only 5’7”. True to form, she quickly became engaged to Kalvin and had a child with him. She even paid off the remaining balance on the sports car that had originally been purchased under my credit, using the alimony check from her divorce after the affair had ended her previous marriage.

After being married to Kalvin for 2.5 years, I had learned to spot the warning signs and red flags that others might overlook. But, like many others, I was initially blinded by his grandiose gestures and romantic getaways, leading me to marry him after knowing him for just six months.

And while I appreciate Melania’s efforts to get me back on the dating scene, I think I’ll stick to flying solo for a while.

Every time we go anywhere she’s bumbling and trying to get me to play along. “Kate, let’s meet someone new tonight! We need to get you laid!” She’ll insist.

Ew. The thought of sex with some stranger in Mexico is revolting. If I wanted sex that badly, I’d recycle an old fling, it’s better for the environment…and the ph balance.

Phil is friends with all of the crew we had visiting in Mexico so we walked over to the hottest bar in town, Bandido’s, for bottle service.

As I took a shot of tequila out of a glass made from ice, I whispered to myself, “Not today, tequila, not today.” Across the table, Phil was eyeing me, and I knew he couldn’t help but miss me. After all, I had been working hard on myself since our breakup, hitting the yoga mat twice a day and coming out looking fitter and better and happier (on the surface) than ever before.

But it wasn’t just Phil who had noticed my newfound confidence and allure. Men were lining up in Fargo just to get a shot at me, and I didn’t even bat an eye at it. Melania, my wing-woman with the not so successful matchmaking track record, had brought along a cute, witty, and smart doctor who was funny as hell. She was dying to set us up.

He was flirting with me relentlessly, even pouring a shot into my mouth and I was soaking up the attention, reveling in Phil’s discomfort as he watched us interact. I couldn’t deny the rush it gave me watching Phil get a bit uncomfortable with how handsy this potential suitor had gotten. Phil quickly slipped out and disappeared, and here I was, wondering what the hell I was doing here.

It turned out, Phil wasn’t the only one watching him get handsy with me that night…I would find out later I was being watched by someone else entirely, someone I had yet to meet.

🚩details

#red flags #dating #stalking #online dating #narcissist #love bombing #cheating #match maker

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redflagbreakfast · 2 years ago

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Journal Entry 1- The Playa Players

“I couldn’t possibly go to Mexico!” I exclaimed dramatically to my friends, who were all planning a getaway from the barren cold landscape of Fargo, North Dakota, to Playa Del Carmen. My company had been demanding all of my time and money, leaving me with barely enough energy to crawl into bed at night, let alone jet off to a tropical paradise. But my friends were a persuasive bunch, and before I knew it, I found myself rummaging through old flight credits from the summer of quarantine. Lo and behold, I had an unused one that was just begging to be put to good use. So, with a mix of excitement and trepidation, I hopped on a flight and made my way down to Cancun.

As I sat on the public bus to Playa, feeling tired but excited, I couldn’t help but wonder what the quick weekend had in store for me. I was going to secretly see Phil tonight for an innocent dinner since my friends had a long day trip planned to Tulum and certainly wouldn’t be back until late.

Of course, as luck would have it, my friends had in fact, canceled their day trip to Tulum and were lounging around the room when I arrived. My secret plans were foiled..I reluctantly had to explain why I couldn’t join them for dinner that night.

I had promised to meet up with my ex-boyfriend, who was currently living in Playa. It had been a while since I’d seen him, and even though I knew it wasn’t good for me (as I sure will be the theme for this journal) I decided to quietly make plans to catch up with him. Melania, loathes that I have kept in contact with him, and since she is the one who convinced me to book the ticket and donate a spare twin bed to me, she couldn’t help but be miffed. I assured her and the others I would be ready to party with them in a few short hours.

I slipped into a cute brown woven dress without a bra – because let’s be real, who needs that kind of restriction?? Now, I may have been running on fumes with no sleep for days, but I wasn’t about to let that stop me from the chance at fun. When in Mexico…right? I touched up my makeup and gave my natural curls a little scrunch to add some extra sass and headed out the door.

And then, there he was. The guy who had tossed me aside like yesterday’s news after I simply asked him to use protection. I mean, seriously, how hard is it to wrap it up? But even though he threw away our relationship like garbage, I couldn’t help but feel a flush when I saw him.

It had been eight long months since I’d gotten any action, and damn, there he was, looking hotter than ever. I know I probably should have been mad at him, but I just couldn’t help myself. Maybe it was his quirky aspergers traits, or maybe it was the cocaine he had for breakfast, but I genuinely feel like he is literally incapable of real human connection, so I had continued to give him the biggest hall pass of the century.

We had dated on and off for over four years, but the relationship had never been exclusive – at least not on his end, but when he gave me his undivided attention, I swear I felt like the queen of the universe.

But let’s talk about the real reason I kept coming back for more: the sex. This man knew how to make my body sing like a freaking symphony. And the size difference between us only added to the excitement. I mean, I’m a petite 5’0″ ball of pure fire and energy, while he’s this massive, calm and collected, hunk of man who could toss me around like a rag doll. And you know what? I loved every second of it.

The moment I wasn’t with him, he would disappear like a phantom, leaving me feeling confused and frustrated. At 52 years old, he had once told me that I was “the first real relationship he ever had”. I had to laugh at that – after all, he had never even met my family, and I had let him fuck other people. But to him, a real relationship simply meant being willing to be seen in public with me in front of friends and coworkers. .

There was something about the way he took control that just drove me wild. Honestly, I’m not sure if it was his attentiveness or our incredible connection in the bedroom (or the balcony, or the sleek kitchen counter ) that had me hooked. All I know is that this guy was like a drug to me, and I couldn’t get enough. So maybe I was the one with the “drug” problem after all…not him.

Despite all odds, he was actually an upgrade from my ex, the king of narcissism. The inspiration behind my decision to embark on this wild social experiment in the first place… At least what I saw with Phil, is what I got. He was refreshingly authentic. No dual lives and lies, empty promises and even emptier wallets.

No matter what, I had promised myself (and Melania) that I would not hook up with him, no matter how much tequila was involved.

Dinner went as expected. Romeo’s is my favorite hole in the wall Italian place in Playa, well, let’s be real, in all of the galaxy. Across from me, Phil chattered on about his latest achievements, from mastering the art of diving to his ever-expanding business empire. As much as I tried to stay focused on our conversation, my mind kept drifting to the past.

As I watched him eat his last bite of truffle ravioli, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy at how seemingly awesome his life was despite how much he had hurt me. Aside from his philandering ways, his life seemed so damn perfect. But then again, when you’ve quadrupled your net worth in three years, it’s easy to see why the world is your oyster.

I’ve seen the new younger and hotter blondes that he’s been screwing. I’d done just an innocent amount of rabbit hole internet sleuthing over the last 9 months since we had broken up…as had some of my friends.. He was now trolling for women barely out of college, enticing them with simply the promise of 2 day long blow and liquor fueled trips to his time-share in Puerto Vallarta.

I used to think our 15-year age gap was significant, but it paled in comparison to the 30-year chasm he was now bridging with his arrangement site conquests. I realized that money truly could buy happiness, or at least a never-ending supply of willing young bimbos. The age gap works just fine when you’re 6’4” with a bio that blatantly parades your net worth is over ten million dollars.

The pandemic had been an absolute nightmare for me. My life had been crushed in every possible way, from becoming a homeschool kindergarten teacher overnight to my 5 year old son, to literally being terminated from my own company that I had started from the ground up, and getting quite literally ghosted by the new guy I thought would change my word. But then there was Phil, the lucky bastard who managed to thrive despite everything. He had even sold three bars in October 2019, right before the world came crashing down on the industry due to Covid. It was like he had a crystal ball or something. He had invested the money wisely and had exploded his net worth in the process.

“I own over 200 doors now,” he boasted, his muscular chest puffed up with pride.

While I was struggling to pay rent on my one measly apartment, Phil was buying up real estate left and right in Detroit like it was Monopoly money. His life looked so easy, and it made me queasy.

I had given this man everything, my heart and soul included. And what did he do? He threw it all away because I dared to ask for safe sex in our open relationship. Ethically non-monogamous my ass.

I swore to myself that I would never let him touch me again, no matter how desperate I was. It had been 9 long months since we had broken up, and I could last nine more if it meant I wouldn’t have to worry about some Mexican hybrid STD he’d picked up since he’d been here.. La Cucaracha in my crotcha? No gracias.

As we finished our delicious meal with a slice of heavenly berry cheesecake, Phil grabbed the bill. It was one thing he had always done, take care of me. I had been on a few dates since the breakup, but none of the men on the Bumble roster could hold a candle to Phil. Half of them didn’t even offer to pay for the damn meal. No wonder I was still single.

#breakups #online dating #bumble #exes #narcissist #sugardaddy #seeking

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