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soracities · 2 years ago

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could u maybe expand on the difference between reacting and responding

hi, and of course; at its core, reacting is an immediate response to something, whereas responding comes after taking the time to think something through and properly understand it (and how you actually feel about it).

when you're reacting to something as opposed to responding, the things you say or do--and crucially, the way you say or do them--are coming from an emotionally-charged place rather than a contemplative or intentional one; they are actions, decisions, presumptions and perceptions fuelled by a specific feeling arising in a particular moment, and these feelings could be anything: anger, irritation, guilt, indignation, embarrassment, sometimes even positive emotions like joy (when people say not to make big decisions either when you're utterly despondent or utterly elated, that's what they're talking about)

our feelings towards certain things are there for a reason, but that doesn't mean that they will always guide you in a positive direction--telling people their feelings are valid is an important part of acknowledging the effect something has had, but its also important to note that sometimes feeling a certain way about something or someone is not automatically a definitive Truth about that thing or that person (example: if i'm feeling exceptionally bad and am convinced i have nothing redeeming to offer those i love--perhaps that is a truth for me, in that moment, insofar as this is where my feelings are sitting right now; but i can also recognise that this is not a truth for them--i cannot see what they see, and i won't pretend that i can but i also accept that they do see it).

if you're in an emotionally-charged state (either because something genuinely hurt you, or something someone said annoyed you) there is very little room left, if any, in your mind to think your responses through rationally because whatever you're caught-up feeling is crowding out everything else and its very, very tempting to let yourself go along with that flow: the intensity of an emotion sometimes feels like its own justification, but that is a very dangerous trap to fall into. what will arise from this, more often than not, are knee-jerk responses or thoughtless (in both senses of the word) comments which can range from mildly embarrassing outbursts to something far more hurtful and damaging--to you and someone else.

obviously, this is not to dismiss incidents where something or someone hurts you, or to say that you have no right to feel those things, or other emotions for that matter (everyone gets ticked off by something), but when you're reacting you're basing the things you say and do and think off an emotional high that will pass, often within a few short minutes. and when it does pass and you think back on whatever caused you to feel the way you felt, it will either no longer be a big deal (because you have calmed down and your mind is no longer clouded by certain feelings) or if you're still bothered by whatever the incident was, you will now be in a much better place, emotionally, to examine what exactly it is you're feeling, and why you're feeling it and resolve it in a healthier way. if i see some particularly bad take online and it grates on me, my immediate response is not necessarily to interact with it; i either leave it or read through it a few times to be sure i know exactly what's being said. then i think it through in my own time if i feel the need to examine it further, but i'm very conscious of making sure my feelings, if they're suddenly loud for whatever reason, have calmed down significantly before i make any conclusions about what's being said.

i'm not saying everyone has to be perfect or that everyone is capable of responding 100% thoughtfully in any and every given situation in their lives and it's a failure of character if they don't, but in the context making of this post, and especially when it comes to being online in general where everything is designed to a) whittle down your attention span so that any sustained thought / engagement becomes an afterthought (if even that), and then b) gain traction and momentum by encouraging you to react emotionally instead of responding thoughtfully, i think it's vitally important to be extra conscious of the way you interact with content and other people instead of jumping the gun because it is so much easier to do that online; you fall more swiftly, here, into the trap of thinking that other people aren't people but abstract concepts you can ignore who won't be affected by your actions. not everything you see or come across requires you to have an input or to interact with it, and if you feel an overwhelming need to do so i think it's important to at the very least take a few minutes and check in with yourself to ensure whatever you feel the need to express is coming from a thoughtful place as opposed to a presumptuous, hurtful, and reactive one. does this make sense?

#ask #anonymous #notes from elsewhere

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patchofgrey · 4 months ago

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Head Cannons One-Shot:

Nejiten Headcannon explanations: part one Nejiten Fanfictions by me: ffdotnet | A03

Headcannons: There was no way Hiashi didn’t pick up on his nephew having a crush and Neji confided in Hinata about his feelings on Tenten. Tenten’s family has done business with the Hyugas for years prior to her birth.

She wasn’t a Hyuga, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed into the Hyuga estate. When they had become gennin, Team Gai was given the task to get to know each other on a personal level. For Tenten, the boys had met her older brother and parents. To the group’s surprise, Tenten’s mother was not from Konoha. Rather, her mother’s side was in the Land of Rivers, specifically Takumi Village. Both of her parents were shinobi, her father specializing in weaponry and even handled the family business of weapons crafting and trading. For Lee, his mother gave a very warm welcome, she was a civilian and loved her son very much. When Tenten and Neji visited their home, she was very quick to greet them with hugs and snacks. When it came to Neji, he had settled on only having his teammates interact with his step-mother. His father had remarried to a civilian after the sudden death of his mother, two years after Neji was born. His step-mother was a lovely woman and found Rock Lee in particular very interesting. When the prodigy had introduced her to Tenten, she immediately noticed the air surrounding her step-son and his female teammate; it made her smile.

As the two of them became closer friends, Neji would handle business with his mother at the main estate and tell Tenten to meet him there so they could train or hang out afterwards. Shizukana Hyuga had mentioned to her brother in law the fascination she had with his female teammate; encouraging him to meet her.

Tenten had already met Hiashi Hyuga as a child. Her father’s business extended to transactions with the Hyugas, however she was not formally introduced to the Lord. Whenever she would come to the estate with her father, she would give a very formal-yet quick greeting before being whisked away to be entertained by a Hyuga maid. One day, she got her chance to. Neji had informed his step-mother that he would be leaving the estate early in order to train for the chunnin exams with Tenten. Hiashi stopped him and told him to bring his teammate inside to formally meet him. When questioned, Hiashi simply stated that he was curious as to who this teammate was that he was always out training with. Begrudgingly, Neji complied.

“Wait…what?” Tenten blinked. “Why now?”

Neji rolled his eyes. “I am not sure. Honestly, it was my mother’s idea.”

“But, Lord Hiashi knows my father. Why does he need to know me specifically?”

“Let’s just make this quick. I don’t want to be here longer than I am supposed to be.” the Hyuga groaned. “He loves to make my life difficult.”

Tenten pursed her lips together and followed her teammate into the estate. The Hyuga relatives looked at her in curiosity as she walked behind Neji, their stares obvious and heavy. Neji kept his gaze sharp as she noticed his relatives looking at her, sending a dirty look back at them which caused various reactions. When they had reached the main tea room, the Hyuga gennin let out a loud sigh and turned to her.

“It’ll be just a few minutes. Then, we leave.” he said flatly.

The bunhead nodded and whipped her palms on her navy pants. She was a bit nervous, mostly because she was in her shinobi gear and about to meet the head of the most prestigious families of the Land of Fire. Tenten wondered how her father felt when first meeting Lord Hiashi. Neji had only mentioned that his uncle was a pain to deal with and was doing nothing to handle the rift between the main and branch families. The bunhead would avoid provoking such subjects with him, but if he needed to vent, she would listen. Neji was grateful for that; being able to have someone to listen to him and share his thoughts with without judgment.

The two stood before Lord Hiashi. The older Hyuga was sitting at the tea table with Neji’s step-mother and two younger Hyuga’s whom Tenten has not met before. One looked to be about her age and held a very soft expression as she looked at her. Hiashi’s eyebrows shot to his forehead upon seeing the bunhead.

“Uncle,” Neji cleared his throat. “This is my teammate, Tenten Hua.”

“Yes,” Hiashi mused. “Your father and I do business.”

Tenten bowed respectfully. Shizukana offered Tenten a sweet smile and gestured for them to join them for tea. Neji shook his head stating he wanted to get to training and didn’t want to spend more time here than necessary. Tenten pursed her lips together, surprised at how rude he was being. Yes, he thought poorly of the main branch, but he did not have to brush off his step mother. But even if he did, it took a very sharp side glance from Shizukana to get Neji’s eyes wide and his spine straight. After a second, he gestured to Tenten to sit first. The bunhead complied and sat awkwardly next to the honey-blonde civilian.

“These are my daughters,” Hiashi gestured to the two young girls next to him. “Hinata is a year under you. And this is her younger sister Hanabi.”

Hinata smiled at the bunhead and nodded, having already been acquainted with the older kunoichi during the chunnin exams. Hanabi sat quietly, and only tilted her head at the guest before her.

“Tenten-dear, how are your parents? I haven’t seen your mother in a while.” Shizukana asked after a moment.

“They’re well. My dad is in the Land of Rivers right now handling some business.” Tenten replied. “My mom is on a mission for the next week or so.”

Neji’s step-mother hummed and offered the younger girl any lodging or assistance if she needed it.

“I’m sure my Neji wouldn’t mind if you stayed with us until they returned. You can take the spare bedroom, right dear?” Shizukana looked to her step son.

The prodigy glanced at his mother, but nodded hesitantly. Why would she offer? He thought. Tenten doesn’t need assistance. Tenten didn’t need to stay with them, she was fine on her own, especially since her brother was also home for the moment, getting over an injury. It was the bunhead’s way of nicely implying that she could handle herself and her brother. Hiashi hummed and sipped at his tea, listening as his sister in law prompted her step son into making sure that his teammate was well taken care of. What peaked his interest was that his nephew was just agreeing with his step mother and not firing back any sarcastic remarks. Instead, the Lord caught Neji half smiling as his teammate continued to converse with the blonde.

“Tenten, you must visit us more! Stop by the house just to say hello with your mother sometime so I can listen to all your adventures. Neji only tells me some things, and I can never get any full details from him.”

The Hua chuckled apprehensively; Neji’s step mom was quite the outgoing person and loved having the bunhead around for company. Her Hyuga teammate would always mention that Shizukana would ask about her, and invite her over ever since they had met.

“Mother, Tenten is a very busy person-”

“Yes, busy training with you. Which means that she has to put up with your various moods. Tell me, dear. Is my son driving you up the wall yet?”

“Mother, please-”

Tenten held her hands up. Neji had approached her to train for the exams. He was her friend and was happy to help. The prodigy was never rude or attempted to belittle her. In honesty, she was actually surprised that he had asked her specifically since her specialty was weaponry and taijutsu.

“We make great partners,” the bunhead looked to her teammate. “Well, I think we do.”

Neji nodded without hesitation. His face softened as Tenten offered him a bright smile. Shizukana looked at her brother in law and gestured to the pair next to her. Hiashi was now seeing what she had mentioned to him; the softness in his face. His nephew had made a close friend. It was uncertain how much Tenten knew about the Hyuga clan, or what issues they had; his guess was that Neji had no problems talking to her about it. He watched as they chatted between each other, the bunhead showing how comfortable she was around his nephew. This teammate was bright, and made his nephew feel some level of comfort he has not seen before.

Since then, Tenten had been to the Hyuga estate a number of times since the chunnin exams. Neji had begun training formally under his uncle which left Tenten on her own. To remedy this, the Hyuga would invite her to the estate to spectate, or even partake in training with him if his uncle was caught up with his Hyuga duties. At this time, Neji and Hinata had also begun training under Hiashi. Tenten would sit and watch as Hiashi would instruct his daughter and nephew in their gentle fist drills. During their breaks, Neji would sit with her and his cousin and chat about anything and everything. Hiashi would watch as his nephew would smile and give the bunhead his undivided attention. At one point, Hiashi asked to see how the Hua would engage in training with the branch member. The Lord had conjured up some clones and observed as they worked together. Neji had shared more information than he thought to his female teammate; she was covering his byakugan’s blindspot. They had combined attacks and their flow was flexible as they attacked and defended against his clones. Tenten had perfect aim and his nephew was able to pick up on her change in motion almost instantly; they were a singular unit. When the clones had disappeared, the pair stood smiling at each other breathlessly. Hiashi had invited Tenten back to the estate the following morning.

Tenten watched as Neji and Hinata sparred. She hummed to herself and allowed for her fingers to rub against her scrolls, waiting to see if she would be joining in today. She didn’t notice the Hyuga lord had taken a spot next to her to watch. Neji’s speed was no match for Hinata as he quickly delivered his jabs. Her amber eyes were quick enough to track his movements with ease; the perks of training under Maito Gai was the ability to develop such a necessary skill.

“You have brought your scrolls, today.”

Her head snapped to the side and immediately bowed to the Hyuga Lord. “Yes, I wasn’t sure if I was training with Neji today or not…”

Hiashi offered a half smile as he watched the bunhead turn back to watch her teammate. The bunhead held her breath as Hinata’s body was flung backwards, Neji’s force was organic and held much power. Tenten felt a bit bad for Hinata since Neji was on a completely different level than her. She had formed a bit of a friendship with the Hyuga heiress, having been frequenting the Hyuga estate recently. Hinata was very sweet and very soft spoken. Tenten found her to be very cute and found her personality to be the opposite to Neji. And yet, Neji had adjusted his behavior which surprised Tenten; he was trying to be a protector for his cousin as demanded by his role as a branch member. He felt guilty for how he treated her and wanted to make things right. The bunhead was proud of her teammate for that, atoning in a way that only he could.

“Let us finish for the morning, Hinata.” Neji announced.

The younger Hyuga nodded and they approached the Lord and the weapons specialist, sweaty and heavily breathing. Neji walked up to Tenten almost instantly, offering a small smile as they chatted quietly about his increase in speed. Hiashi watched as the pair spoke to each other, each maintaining full eye contact and his nephew’s lips remaining in a content upwards curve. Hinata noticed this as well, and excused herself into the conversation.

“Will you be joining us today, Tenten?” she asked as wiped her face and neck with a towel.

“Well-”

“I asked her here,” Lord Hiashi cut in. “To take a look at the armory we have.”

Tenten’s eyes grew wide with excitement. She was not allowed into the armory as a young child while her father did business. The Lord gestured her to follow him, leaving the two Hyuga cousins. Neji watched as Tenten walked away with his uncle.

“Big Brother,” Hinata spoke softly. “Why are you staring at Tenten?”

Neji pursed his lips together and didn’t look at her. Instead, he sat himself on the wooden deck and reached for his water bottle.

“Do you like her?” she asked.

“She is my best friend, Hinata. Of course I like her.” he replied flatly.

Hinata shook her head. That’s not what she meant and he knew it. They sat quietly for a moment before she turned to him and asked what he liked about her. Neji’s cheeks turned pink as he glanced at her. Tenten was always there for him even when he thought he didn’t need anyone. She was always cheering him on, and yet keeping him in check at the same time. The bunhead was trustworthy, and genuinely cared about him and what ran through his mind. In a way, Tenten was like a caretaker for himself and even Lee. He was a bit unsure how to pay her back for her kindness besides buying her things that she liked like sweets or something she would find interesting if he was sent on missions without her.

“You are very kind to Tenten, brother.” Hinata hummed.

“I have decided,” he looked at the sky. “To be responsible for her happiness.”

The Hyuga heiress looked at him with wide-eyes. He wanted to make sure that Tenten had no cloudy days and would be there for her just as she was for him. It was the least he could do. In a way, he supposed it was thanks to her that he was able to hold himself in such high regard, even after his defeat against Naruto. It took Naruto to make him open his eyes and see that he was in control of his own destiny. Part of him also knew that Tenten had been trying to tell him the same way over the years, and he was grateful for her doting on him as well as Naruto for (literally) knocking some sense into him. Neji let out a breath and peered into his water bottle. When Tenten had come to see him after his loss, the first thing he was greeted with was her smile; a smile he decided to take responsibility for keeping in her face. Seeing her happiness made his chest warm.

“Brother, it seems you really do care for Tenten.” Hinata mused. “Have you told her this?”

“Have you told Naruto that you’re madly in love with him yet?” he shot back looking directly into her matching ivory eyes.

Hinata’s face fell instantly into a deep red tint. She gave a yelp at his response with the obvious answer; no, she did not. Neji let out a laugh and shook his head. That was his answer as well.

“Speaking of Tenten,” Neji’s eyebrows furrowed. “I do not understand why uncle keeps inviting her. What interest has he taken in her?”

“If I am going to guess,” Hinata replied, her blush calming down. “I think father is being nice because she is the daughter of his business partner…but also your friend.”

“It’s not his business to get into my personal relationships.”

The Hyuga princess let out a chuckle at this, encouraging him to ask Lord HIashi himself when he got the chance if he were that curious. Tenten’s presence did not make him uneasy in the slightest, it was his uncle’s insistence of having her around that made him wonder if there was something he was trying to get out of it. Hinata didn’t think her father had any ill intentions, in fact she was also curious as to why her father had invited Tenten onto Hyuga grounds so often. She wouldn’t be surprised if her father also noticed Neji’s affections towards his teammate and was trying to figure out how to approach this situation.

When Tenten and Lord Hiashi returned, the bunhead was very excited to tell Neji about how lovely the assortment of weapons were and how she remembers her father crafting the majority of them himself. Seeing the finished product in storage was exciting for her. The Hyuga prodigy offered to walk Tenten home, as they were finished training for the morning and he knew she had other plans with her own family after lunch. The bunhead shrugged, accepting his offer and thanked Hiashi once more.

“Nephew, a word before you leave.” Hiashi said. “Hinata, why don’t you walk Tenten to the front gates for now.”

Hinata nodded and stood. She smiled at Tenten before doing just that. The Lord waited until the girls turned a corner before addressing his nephew.

“I have a question for you, Neji.”

The prodigy cocked an eyebrow at his uncle. “Alright.”

“What kind of bond are you expecting to get out of your teammate?” the older Hyuga asked rather pointedly.

Neji hummed, unsure as to why he was asking him such a question. The Lord had taken the time to get to know the young lady, she had mentioned that she was rather close to Neji and that she would notice the effort he was putting into their friendship as well as the growth he had made. Hiashi found her affections to his nephew to be genuine and was curious as to how the prodigy felt about his current relationship with her.

“Uncle,” Neji’s cheeks sprouted a faint pink. “She is my best friend and my partner. Why are you inquiring about such a thing?”

“You care for her.” Hiashi hummed. “Your bond with her holds quite strong. Be careful with it, for it can be severed very easily, nephew. But, it can grow if you nurture it properly.”

Neji watched as his uncle gestured in the direction of where his cousin and teammate went before turning on his heel and walking away. The young Hyuga pondered on his uncle's words for a moment before making his way to the front gates where the girls were waiting.

#neji hyuga #nejiten #naruto #tenten #fanfiction #neji x tenten #nejiten fanfiction #art #naruto fanficiton #headcannons

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dirtwatchman · 6 months ago

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PARTIES: Caleb Aesil (@dirtwatchman) and Van (@vanoincidence) TIME: Current (June 11th) SUMMARY: Aesil needs to know what they did wrong so they go back to the beginning. Van meets who she thinks is Caleb in front of her destroyed house. WARNINGS: None

Aesil had finally found Caleb’s phone in the man’s beat up pick up truck. It must have fallen under the seat the night he’d killed the human for the bizarre information and as they went through the messages with the pictures that accompanied them they couldn’t help but think of how helpful all of this would have been to them in the beginning. The relationships would have been known, they would have been able to play along a lot better than they had, and they would have known who wasn’t even part of the zombie’s life before they tried to talk to them. That random guy at the bizarre must have been staring for a different reason considering he wasn’t even listed in the text messages.

But the most surprising contact of all was someone named Van. She was a strange one but they were close. Caleb clearly cared for her, that much was obvious from the texts, but they were also sending a lot of pictures of pickles back and forth which confused the demon to no end. It was her picture that had sparked a memory of a particular night though, a memory that Aesil was both grateful and disgusted about.

They needed her. It was something they hated to admit but they did and they needed her sooner rather than later. There wasn’t much time left.

They had texted the girl to see if she would meet them somewhere and when she agreed Aesil had ended up in front of a completely destroyed house, sunken in, almost non-existent. They were grinning as they stared at it, reveling in the glory of it all. Loud footsteps reached their ears and Aesil turned their head towards them to find a face so familiar. “There you are. I was beginning to worry you were going to stand me up. Brought you something.” They held out one of the spicy pickles they had found in the back of Caleb’s fridge, wanting to balk at the gesture. It was needed though. They needed her to talk to them and buttering her up with a shared love of theirs was the best way to make that happen. .

Van had noticed that Caleb hadn’t returned her heart on Candy Crush in a couple of days. That happened sometimes, though. She knew that much. She could accept the one Jade had sent, but it felt wrong to do so. Van was still upset with her, and taking a heart meant that there was some level of forgiveness that Van wasn’t ready to convey.

However, she quickly found out that it didn’t really matter considering Caleb had reached out to her with a proposed get together. She hadn’t anticipated it’d be in front of her now demolished house, but she felt that questioning it would only make Caleb roll his eyes and insist. Maybe he wanted to say a few words. He always seemed like the kind of guy who wanted to do things like that, and so Van took him up on his offer. She wasn’t sure if she should bring flowers or not. It felt weird to do so, so she left them behind on the table in Regan’s kitchen before heading out, a hot papa pickle tucked into her bag to hand over to Caleb later.

Anxiety tugged at her, nerves running rampant with the memory of what had happened here. The squealing of the house as it fell, the scream from the banshee’s that’d been left behind, heard even after she drove herself and Jade away. But Caleb was here, and she could focus on that. Instead of falling victim to the way that grief drove its stake into her, she could focus on an old family friend. “Oh, dude! Great minds think alike!” Her voice shook slightly, but she hoped that he wouldn’t notice. She took out the pickle she had brought for him, shoving it forward. “I know these ones are your favorite, and it was the last one, so like, you better appreciate it.” It was said with a smile as she grabbed the packet that Caleb extended, nodding in approval before dropping it into her bag.

Van tried her best to keep her gaze from lingering on the house, knowing well enough that if she looked for too long, the memories of the past would come crashing down onto her. “I do like, gotta ask though, why are we here?” Still avoiding the wreckage, her gaze slithered overtop of it, to the broken fence of a house a few rows over.

There was something in this girl’s eye as she looked at the house before them, something that Aesil couldn’t quite get a grasp on. It was kind of like a mix of fear and sadness so deep that they hadn’t had the chance to encounter it just yet. Mostly they’d just seen the fear, that’s all they wanted, but they had to play into this right? So far, they hadn’t been smart with their encounters. She had something they needed, something they couldn’t just take like with the others, and that was enough to get them to play the part of Caleb again no matter how much they loathed it. “Are you okay?”

The demon looked down at the pickle she was offering, disgust flashing so quickly in their eye that they hoped she didn’t notice it before they could wipe it out with…what? Gratitude? Happiness? Was this thing supposed to make Caleb happy? They begrudgingly decided yes and gave her a smile as they took it. It went straight to their pocket. “....Thanks. I’ll save that for later.”

Straight to the point. That was something Aesil could appreciate, something they did appreciate since they were running very short on time. Looking back at the destruction, their smile turned to one of fondness, like they were looking at an old treasured home that didn’t resemble something from a war zone. “Something happened here, Van. The night that your house was destroyed, there was an incident, wasn’t there?” They looked over at her knowingly, trying to convey that there wasn’t much use in lying to them. They knew the truth. “I want to know how you did it. What you used to open up that connection to another world.”

At Caleb’s question, she finally tore her gaze away from the house. There was a brief moment where she thought about telling him the truth, but what would that do other than make him worry? The last thing she needed was for more people to worry about her, so she shrugged. “It’s just like, weird being here, you know? What if there’s still a gas leak or something and another house explodes.” She knew that wouldn’t happen, mostly because there were no banshees to scream it down, and she was not in the business of making another portal emerge from out of nowhere. As if in response to the thought, she twisted the ring Teddy got her around her finger absentmindedly and realigned her gaze with the house, or rather, where it had been. It was practically cleaned up now. There were still bits and pieces, and she was afraid that if she looked hard enough, she’d find where her dad had marked her height near the front door in bright green sharpie. That was probably gone, too, though.

Caleb began to speak, and it was in a way that sounded foreign to Van. She didn’t think she’d ever heard him talk that way, even if it was his voice. She looked over at him, brows furrowed. How much did he actually know about what happened here? Did he know about the banshees? She hadn’t yet told Regan, nor had she told Erin what actually happened, so how likely was it that he found out? But this wasn’t about the banshees, she realized.

It was about the portal. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It was so clearly a lie, and she took a small step away from him, folding her arms across her chest. “I don’t know anything about like, connections, unless we’re talking about New York Times.” She had totally fucked up on this morning’s and was still reeling from it, but that wasn’t what Caleb was asking about and she knew it. “What are you talking about? What connection?” Had Erin told him about her magic? Was that how he knew? But Van hadn’t disclosed anything about the portals, and so she was left to wonder how he had found out. She knew she shouldn’t be upset that he had found out, because she was trying to be more open and honest about her magic as a whole, but his question had caught her off guard.

Nobody actually communicated. That much was clear. Aesil was finding out time and time again that most people had no clue who they were even friends with. They didn’t know much about human connection but they were pretty sure that humans weren’t supposed to lie to the people that they cared about. It was like a trust thing, right? To them, it didn’t much matter anymore who knew what they were, it hadn’t mattered too much in the beginning, but they thought that friends would have at least shared with each other. It was clear she hadn’t told Caleb anything and most likely vice versa. Again, this zombie was proving to be so difficult.

Again, they didn’t have time.

“You can drop the act.” Their look turned into something sharp, all pretense of the man’s usual gentle nature wiped as soon as they realized this wasn’t going to go how they wanted it to go. “And I’ll do you a favor and drop mine. “I’m talking about the portal, Van. I saw it the day you opened it but I don’t remember seeing any of the ingredients you used. What did you use to open it?” As they continued speaking, Caleb’s voice started getting lower, turning into more of a growl. Their patience was wearing thin, Aesil surprised that they had kept it together this long. They just kept repeating one thought in their mind to keep them from advancing on her. ‘You need her. She’s the key, you need her.’

As soon as they found out what this child had done to open that link though she was fair game. They’d taken care of almost everyone else in this zombie’s life, why not get rid of one of the last connections he had left? It all hinged on her telling them the right ingredients though. Otherwise they’d never know if it was okay to dispose of her or not. They’d already taken out one spellcaster, how many did this town have? “More specifically, what type of blood did you use?”

Van flinched at the change in Caleb’s demeanor. “The portal? Ingredients?” The more research she did, the more it became clear that to achieve what she’d been doing accidentally took a lot more effort ritualistically, but because her fear was able to manifest itself the way it did, the unimaginable continued to happen. Van couldn’t very well tell Caleb that the ingredients were thinking she was going to die, could she? He seemed serious and more on edge than she’d ever seen him, and she wasn’t sure what to think. It took her a second longer than she needed to to realize that Caleb mentioned being there when it opened. “You weren’t– Caleb, you weren’t even here. What are you talking about?”

Caleb’s expression grew dark, and his tone shifted. Something in Van’s chest tightened. Her stomach lurched. “Blood? I didn’t use blood. There wasn’t any blood.” Did Jade’s blood count? She’d been bleeding, hadn’t she? But Jade was never present at the other times where demons had ripped open the ground. That had been her, and there’d rarely ever been any blood. “It just happens. I don’t know how, I don’t know–” Was he angry that she’d kept it from him? That she had told Erin a version of the truth, but kept him in the dark? “Why are you looking at me like that?” She took a step to the side, putting some distance between herself and Caleb. Her conversation with Wynne ran a mile a minute through her mind– the discussion of demons and how dangerous they were. Why did Caleb want to know about demons?

Why did she seem like she didn’t know what the hell they were talking about? She was the reason it happened, Aesil was quite aware of that, but she had no clue how she had done it? Were there really no magical ingredients around that day? Is that why they had thought they’d passed them over? No, that can’t be right. Spellcasters could be powerful but that powerful? Especially for someone who didn’t have a clue? She had to be lying. “I was there, you stupid girl. Those shadows that came out of the ground? I was one of them. The only reason I’m not scraping you from the bottom of Caleb’s shoe right now is because I need to know how you did it.”

They advanced towards her, closing the distance between them but making sure not to lay a hand on her. They couldn’t, not yet. Either this girl was brilliant for not disclosing the information they wanted or she was too dumb to realize just what she had done that day but either way they kept repeating that fucking mantra. ‘You need her. You can’t hurt her.’

Leaning down so that they were eye level, Aesil placed their hands on their knees. That sharp look in their eye was still ever present as they stared her down, the demon trying their best to intimidate her enough to spill but not enough to make her run away. “You had to have ingredients that day. There had to be something there, even if it was lying around by accident. Spellcasters don’t just summon portals out of nowhere. Not ones your age, anyway.”

“Don’t call me that.” Van hissed at him, hands beginning to shake. The ring Teddy gave her acted as a border between her magic and the volatile feelings that began to seep into her. Still, she could feel the magic buzzing beneath her skin, could feel it whispering to her. Danger, danger, danger. But this was Caleb, and Caleb wouldn’t hurt her, would he? She refused to believe that he would, because that would just tack onto the other world shattering viewpoints she had had of this town and the people she thought she knew. “But you’re–” not Caleb, Van realized, almost too late. She searched his features, and while he was Caleb, there was so much of him that wasn’t. The tilt of his head, the twitch to his top lip, the way his eyes looked empty when they were typically so full of life.

He approached her, and Van stumbled back. “I don’t know how I did it!” Danger, danger, danger. The magic hummed in her veins, fingers tingling with the power that was buried beneath the help of the ring. She didn’t want to open up a portal, not on Caleb, or – Caleb’s body? What had Kaden said about possession? Was that this? “There was nothing. It was me, it was just me.” The fear she felt that day, and like the others, all when she thought she was going to die had been present, too. Right now, it was absent, but only because Van caught on quickly to the fact that he needed her for something. If somebody wants something from you, they’ll take it, but not before they try out other options. Especially in life or death. She’d read that somewhere, maybe in a book. Maybe it was from a t.v. show. She couldn’t remember, but she hoped that was true here, hoped that Caleb, or rather, not-Caleb wouldn’t hurt her because he needed the information she had, even if she didn’t actually have it to begin with.

“It just happens. I’m telling you the truth. It happens, and I can’t control it. Maybe something the banshees did brought it out, I don’t know!” That was a lie and she knew it, but was he smart enough to know that? Maybe he’d run off and go looking for them, and she could devise a plan with somebody– Wynne, maybe, who knew a thing or two about demons. Surely Wynne knew others who could help. Maybe Kaden, maybe even Emilio. Van could feel tears begin to prick at her eyes and she quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand. “I can’t tell you, because I don’t know.”

They could see the realization on her face the moment it dawned on her that this wasn’t actually her beloved Caleb. Maybe she wasn’t as idiotic as they previously thought. Most of the others were still clueless after they’d proved ten times over that they weren’t who they thought they were but that lightbulb went off behind her eyes. A cruel smile formed, the demon lifting their shoulders as if to say ‘oops’ before shaking their head at her. “I should be thanking you for bringing me out of the hell I was trapped in. I should be praising you. But right now all I can think about is choking you with that stupid fucking pickle. There’s no way you’re telling me the truth right now.”

No possible way.

“You can’t summon these things out of nowhere. It doesn’t just happen, Van!” Their voice was raising, the hope they had for this conversation at the beginning was being depleted by the second. “That living room…was there any blood spilled in that living room, any at all? Over the years, two days before, at any point did blood touch that floor?”

“That’s like, really messed up.” It was said before she could stop it. She leaned forward and instinctively slapped the pickle he held in his hand to the ground. “And I am telling you the truth. I’m a truther.” Van’s voice wavered ever so slightly as she retracted her hand, taking another step back. “I don’t know how it happened, it just did.” Maybe she was more powerful than she originally thought, or maybe her magic was just… something strong when unchallenged.

Van thought of the blood, of her’s and her friend’s the night Debbie died. She thought of the blood that Jade had spilt that night, but that couldn’t be it. It wasn’t it. She couldn’t recall any blood the night Diana got sucked into the portal, or the night that the dirt eating vampire got pulled underground, or in the ice cream shop. Blood had nothing to do with it. Was he lying? Was whatever got Caleb lying to her?

Demons were sure to lie, so it was possible!

“I don’t know, and I don’t have your answer, and I’m just– I’m going to go, and I won’t like, tell anyone that you aren’t caleb.” A lie, but the pain brought on due to the recognition of the fact that he was in this position because of her made her hesitant to share the whole truth, but she knew she needed to. For Caleb’s sake, at least. She couldn’t be selfish right now, not about this.

Bold. She was a bold one. Any girl who would slap something out of a demon’s hand, even something they didn’t want and was possessing as gentle of a man as Caleb, was not in their right mind. Especially when said demon was already frustrated as hell with her. ‘Don’t touch her…you need her.’ Their voice filled every crevice of their mind, teeth gritting together so hard they thought they might break under the force of it. Holding back was never their strength but Aesil took a few deep unneeded breaths and finally focused on what she was saying again. A truther. What did that even mean?

Now they knew she was lying to them. Not telling people that they had taken over Caleb? Judging by the text messages this one was close to the sister as well and they were sure she would run to tell that one about her encounter. It would probably bring the sister back into his life, she had so much as threatened it already when it came to other aspects, and Aesil was running out of time.

“You’re not listening to me.” They reached out without thinking and wrapped her elbow in a tight grip. They weren’t hurting her, just trying to keep her there so they could talk this through and maybe get a hint about what had happened that night. Banshees weren’t the key, another useless creature that dabbled in the macabre. If there wasn’t any blood on that floor they needed other answers. “This is the most important thing right now, you’re not going anywhere.”

Van didn’t make it very far. Caleb, or not Caleb grabbed her elbow and an involuntary gasp left her as she turned around. It didn’t hurt, but it sent shockwaves through her system. Danger, danger, danger. Van didn’t want to find Caleb dangerous, but this wasn’t Caleb. He had said so. Had talked about Caleb in the third person. This wasn’t Caleb, this was something that had taken him over. She had every right to be afraid of him.

“I am listening, and I don’t have your answers! Let go of me!” The magic that was always so prominent had been dulled out, kept hidden by the ring she wore, but some of it leaked, anxiety creating a mess out of the ground at not-Caleb’s feet. It melted, like it did every other time, but there was no portal, and for that she was thankful.

While she wanted to send whatever she had brought into this world back, she didn’t want to send Caleb with it, and she wasn’t even sure it’d work. She shrugged out of his grip as soon as the ground became too unstable and turned around, running in the opposite direction of where home now was, because the wreckage behind her surely wasn’t it anymore.

Shit. Did this girl actually open a fucking portal without any help? She just…did it? The evidence pooling around them seemed to suggest just that, Aesil frozen to their spot as the cement secured them in. They’d watched as her emotions literally poured out of the ring on her finger and melted the ground and they would have been angry that they were stuck there if they weren’t so damn intrigued. The demon didn’t say anything as she walked away, only tilted their head as their curious stare bore into her back.

This one was the only one they considered telling Andras to keep around. She could prove useful in the future especially if she gained control of her power.

But in the meantime they had to figure out a way to actually get their master there. This was a dud, the only good thing coming from it being the panic that flooded the girl’s eye when she’d realized what she’d done. The best part was that she didn’t even know the full extent of what she’d put Caleb through and when she found that out…Aesil wasn’t sure if they wanted to be around with that raw energy being controlled by whatever she was feeling. Still, if she didn’t even know what she could do there was no use relying on her to finish their plan. “Another spellcaster it is.”

And another magic wielder dead when all was said and done.

#Threads #Thread: Van #Where it all Began

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moni-logues · 2 years ago

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The ~engagement 'issue'~

I feel like I'm seeing more and more posts about readers' lack of engagement with writers on here and I now want to say something. I don't say things short so buckle in lmao

TL;DR: idgaf if you, readers, comment on my shit or not. I care that you enjoy it and, if you did, job complete, mission accomplished, well done. I want to be part of a community, not a service provider/'content creator'. I write because I want to and getting to hear people's thoughts and feedback is just a huge fucking bonus to that. Also, readers I love you.

I love my readers. All of them, loud and silent alike. Readers who comment with long reviews, pulling out quotes or bits they liked, reacting with predictions or responding to the characters. Readers who just comment that they really liked it! that it was good! Readers who like. Readers who read and leave no mark at all. Readers who follow me and readers who come across something I wrote another way, who didn't follow me before and don't after. I am deeply grateful that anyone takes the time to read the things I write, whether you've read everything I've ever posted or just one drabble.

I know that all writers are similarly grateful to have this space and to have people here who read their work. I do, to a certain extent, understand the frustration with regards to like:comment ratios.

However.

I know that reviews take effort. I am a chronically unenthusiastic person and it takes a lot for me to summon the energy to respond how I feel I should, in a way that I think would make the writer happy, in a way that I feel is befitting how I actually feel about the fic I read. There are other reasons I have been reading less recently but one of the reasons is that I feel pressure to review every single thing I read. So I just don't read!!! Isn't that stupid???? Sure, I'm putting imaginary presure on myself by thinking I need to respond in a particular way and that is very much my problem (and I'm trying hard to address it and read/review more anyway), but I feel like readers are taking a bit of a bashing right now and I don't ever want readers to stop reading or to have the reading experience spoilt by feeling a pressure to respond.

I write because I enjoy it. When I first started writing, I had no followers. It took me months to get 100 followers. It took almost a year to get to 1k and then I started over with a brand new blog. I wrote all 60k of A Fine Line by myself, with absolutely no one else reading it because I wanted to. I love getting comments from readers; I love hearing people's thoughts about the shit I write; I love this little community here... But that's what it is: community. This is not transactional! or at least, I don't want it to be! I am not writing fics as a service for which I am paid in reblogs. I am being a fan of BTS with other fans of BTS and we are making up little stories and imagining scenarios and having all kinds of fun with each other, whether you write or gif or edit or just consume. We're in this together!

I saw once, I don't remember where or when, a thing that said, if you are feeling miserable, do something nice for someone else and it will lift your mood. This is, in my experience, absolutely correct. Writers, if you are feeling miserable about your engagment, engage with others the way you want people to with you, write a review for someone else's fic that would make your day if you received it. We writers are all readers, too, and we are not exempt from these ~criticisms~ just because we write.

I am not trying to ~call anyone out~ or, in turn, criticise writers. I'm not. I understand. I do. But every time I see one of these posts, it upsets me, because if I were an active, engaged reader, it would make me feel bad. If I were a silent reader, it would make me feel bad. I don't ever want to make anyone feel bad for enjoying something. Readers don't owe us anything! If this issue is ruining the writing experience for you, it is on you to examine that; it is not the fault of your readers. If it means that you no longer enjoy writing, stop writing. Our time on earth is short and precious! Let's spend it, as much as we can, doing things we enjoy! Not doing things that make us miserable!

Fin.

#oh dear moni is discoursing #i know this is long but i don't want to put it under a cut because i got shit to say

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urwendii · 1 year ago

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Serie: Mai Mae and Ossë Roadtrip To Middle Earth part 6 / ?

Tag list: @cilil @helenvader @mamanmae @endeavoringdaydreamer @light-of-the-two-trees

It was a first, perhaps, in the history of Lothlórien, that two Maiar and a Noldo of the House of Fëanor sat at the same table than the Lady of the Woods.

Galadriel was staring ahead, her face completely devoid of emotion while Maedhros felt decidedly uncomfortable to be in the presence of his youngest cousin and actual sole Noldor survivor in Middle Earth. Mairon on his part seemed well too pleased in observing his surroundings — after trying and failing to invade the Realm for thousand of years— and finally be able to take in appreciation the fine craftsmanship of the Silvan Elves. Ossë, being his regular self, was crouched on the chair, half balanced on its rear feet and looking as if he was 10 seconds away from bursting either in songs or laughter.

"So." Said Maedhros after the stretch of silence had turned far too uncomfortable and lengthy.

"So." Galadriel replied tersely, eyes narrowing at the trio.

"We should be grateful if you were to allow us-"

"No."

Maedhros fumbled with his next word, the vowel ending up a drawn-out hum.

"I will allow you and Lord Ossë, but no Dark Lord shall reside under my protection."

Mairon pursed his lips amusingly.

"I am already within your borders."

Galadriel had an expression of someone who had tasted a particular bitter food, and immediately glared back at him.

"An unfortunate circumstance I would have prevented were it not for the disappointing lapse of judgment of some of my guards. You aren't welcomed there Sauron."

It was Mairon's turn to look sour at the ancient moniker. Ossë waved a scaly hand then, his demeanour seemingly focusing back in the present situation.

"My Lady we understand that it might be difficult after all to forgive Mairon here present but we have good intentions."

Everyone heard the loud snort and Maedhros gave Mairon a deadpan look. Trust the Maia to add fire on oil.

Galadriel suddenly stood up, her composure frosty as she stared them down, pristine white gown giving her the look of a mighty icicle in the grey afternoon.

"This is my Realm, that I have defended from you for two Ages without the help of the Valar."

"Indeed, you only had one of my rings to do so." Mairon interrupted good-natured, the cheer of his tone belied by the ominous dark in his eyes. Maedhros and Ossë exchanged an uneasy look. Now was not the place for the former Dark Lord to lose control of his temper. But — Maedhros thought drily — Artanis, as he knew her then, had never been one to back down a fight. Except that that had been some seven thousands years ago and as it was the current Noldo Princess, turned Queen of her own Realm, was more composed than in his memories.

Instead of jumping over the tables to provoke Mairon in a fistfight, what she might have done when freshly arrived in Beleriand, she simply squared her shoulders and lowered her voice to a glacial tone.

"Rings made by Celebrimbor, unspoiled by your corruption!" she hissed.

"Knowledge he only had because I taught him, you Elves are so quick to take for granted what you are offered."

"Offered? whose idea was it in the first place Annatar?"

Mairon has risen too, face flushed from anger.

"I came to you with a pragmatic plan and was only met with scorn and disdain."

Ossë looked like he was witnessing the showdown of the millennium, and was definitely gleeful to witness the argument. Maedhros was reminded of too many family arguments and too many unpleasantness.

"Enough!" he boomed in his most Eldest Sibling voice and then glared at them.

"I'd rather not revisit the memories of what you did to my nephew Mairon. For everyone's sake, let's move on from this conversation. What was done is done and there is no way to change the past. Trials and sentences have been made accordingly. We are here to ask shelter for a few days before making our way to Amon Lanc."

Galadriel remained haughty and poised, eyes never leaving Mairon. "And you will trust him in that place?"

The former Úmaia rolled his eyes.

"I have ways to keep him in check." Ossë spoke at last, eyes glittering in mischief.

"If not..." her lips curled in a frightening smile, "Do remind him of our last confrontation upon Dol Guldur."

"Have i gone formless again or is anyone going to have discussions about me as if I weren't in the room?"

In a fashion that reminded Maedhros that Artanis was indeed from the house of Finwë, she replied with a choice word in Mairon's own black speech and even Maedhros — not one faint of heart in the slightest — felt himself blush.

"You shall remain on the borders of my Lands, accommodations will be provided and you will be kept under strict supervision."

"Thank you!" Ossë exclaimed happily, wrapping one arm around Mairon's shoulder, who for his part had still been locked in a glaring context with Galadriel.

Maedhros had an suspicion the tension was just starting and it would somehow escalate to higher levels the longer they remain there.

And he longed for a nap. It sounded delightful even. The golden leaves of the Mallorn trees sang of home and he just wanted to drift in dreams made of better things.

"By the way my lady! Would you perchance know where I could find a body of water? I am parched and these two have forced me to remain inland for far longer than I am comfortable with. What a cruel device for my noble person! What a hardship that my existence must be so! What a—"

Maedhros tuned off Ossë's dramatics.

He was so tired.

#mai mae & ossë roadtrip in middle earth #idk about this one #this is for my former fandom ;)#i could write an actual standalone fic on these interactions tbh. or extend this to an actual chapter #anyway they triggered Maedhros' Eldest Daughter Mode :(#hes so tired let him nap!!!!#Ossë being Osse....#again theres no actual chronology in these #also reminder you can ask me at all time to be on the tag list

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so-many-fandoms-here · 1 year ago

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(English isn’t my first language so feel free to correct any mistake you notice.)

• Characters: Takatora Samura (Last Boss), fem!Reader

• Genre: Angst, fluff (turned out more fluff that I intended)

• Warnings: detailed description of death and decay, talking about the meaning of life

Angst Prompts - #8

Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ Ⱄⱄ. .ⱄⰔ

Since I came into this world I saw and felt absolutely everything. I saw people laughing like maniacs right before a laser shot trough their head. Saw people crying about still being alive and how they prayed for their death or the courage to end it themselves. I saw craziness, hope and despair. And I felt all of it too. I cried and laughed, I mourned and partied, I felt how sanity and craziness alternated my brain and I felt how grateful and yet unappreciative I was for being alive. It felt like my brain was eating itself.

Back in the real world, living always felt like a burden. You were alive because you had to. I was sick of it and longed for a change. Now life was a privilege and I still didn’t know how to feel about it. Do I want to go back? Or do I want do find the meaning of life here? Questions over questions flooded my brain and just as I thought I was about to drown in them I met him.

Last Boss was a skinny guy with lots of tattoos covering his body. He looked impenetrable and always had a katana with him.

He understood me. He was like a drain to my overflowing head and our talks helped me to empty out the water soaked dizziness my brain was drowning in.

One night I talked to myself as I sat on the rooftop, hoping if I ask my questions out loud some intention of mine would answer me. „What is life all about?“

Instead of getting an answer by my intentions, the stars, god or whatever, Last Boss answered me. „I never figured it out. But since I am here, I feel like I am closer to the answer.“

Maybe it was fate. We both went upstairs regularly but somehow we always missed each other. But tonight, with my head heavier than usual by all the stuff around me, he suddenly was there.

Since then we met up almost every evening to talk. I never had so honest and deep conversations with anyone else before and for the first time it felt like someone gets me, that I don’t seem crazy. We talked about our lives before and what we wanted to leave behind, about the definition of good and evil, about how moral codes doesn’t exist in this world and how life becomes a deeper meaning here. Last Boss was determined to stay here until the very end, I for my part was still unsure, but the imagination to stay and have this conversations with him until one of us died sounded surprisingly tempting. I know that I fell for him at the worst time possible but what I also know is that I wouldn’t trade what we have with anything in the world. It seemed more meaningful than anything I’ve experienced before.

„Are you afraid to die?“, I asked him one night as we once again lay next to each other in bed, another ritual we started one day without any particular reason.

„No“, he simply replied. „Are you?“ I thought about it for a second before answering. „I don’t know“, I say. „Probably. But not more than I am afraid of living.“ Another statement any other person would‘ve called me crazy for, but not Last Boss.

„I really like you, you know“, I admitted after we both went silent for a while. „You do?“, he asked, nervousness painting his voice. „I do“ I reassure. „Not a good time for things like this. Or maybe it is, I don’t know. I just wanted to let you know. You get me, you know.“

His hand touched mine and quickly linked its fingers with mine. „What do you think happens after we die?“

Another question I have to think about. I’ve asked myself this a couple of times but never really came to a conclusion. „I don’t know“, I said again.

„I think we will become one with the earth“, Last Boss whispered, brushing his thumb over my hand. „I like that“, I admitted with a smile. „That would make us being of use.“

The tattooed man let go of my hand and turned on his side to look at me. „What do you mean?“ I rolled on my side too and looked into his eyes. „If we don’t get cremated our bodies will rot away, feeding the worms and the ground. Our death will be compost for new life to begin and spread.“

„That‘s beautiful“, Last Boss whispered. Other people would frown and call him sick for viewing this morbid fantasy as beautiful, but I nodded confirming. „Yeah. Maybe that’s the meaning behind life.“ „To die and create room and resources for new life. To keep the cycle upright.“, he finished my thoughts.

The dim light shined through the window on his face, lighting it up just enough for me to see his dark orbs that stare right into mine. My hand brushed over his cheek while I can’t help but to smile. He placed his hand over mine to make sure I wouldn’t move it away, then he whispered: „I don’t care about the time.“ Obviously picking up my on my confession again.

My smile got even wider as I brushed with my thumb softly over his lips. Then I got closer to him and pressed my lips on his. And again. And again.

#fanfiction #x reader #alice in borderland #aib #alice in borderland x reader #alice in borderland x y/n #aib x reader #aib x y/n #fluff #Angst #last boss alice in borderland #Alice in borderland last boss #alice in borderland takatora samura #takatora samura alice in borderland #Last Boss #Takatora Samura #takatora samura x reader #Last Boss x Reader #angst prompts

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lettersleftunsent · 8 months ago

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// the last falsetto //

dear you,

when i first listened to this song, i easily associated it with someone. the song makes me feel like i'm walking barefoot at the beach, feeling the warm sand in between my toes, my hair flowing freely with the cold breeze, and my chest feels light as i breathe all my frustrations out in the air. he feels exactly like that. he feels like sunshine.

but after looping it for hours and rereading the lyrics multiple times, i took back the association because it doesn't match. all along, there's an underlying reason why i liked the song, and now, i realize it may be because of you.

there's probably a million things i'd like to say to you, but honestly, i think it'd be best if i just ask — how have you been?

a part of me wholeheartedly wishes that you're well, and that you're living your best life. a part of me wishes you're happy. but the part of me that recognizes the pain you caused totally wishes the opposite. i can't blame her though.

do you even remember how we started out as friends? it was the 5th of december, and we had emptied a lot of bottles. we were both drunk, and you were muttering the most nonsense sentences the world has ever heard despite us having a sensible conversation because the alcohol already took over. when the morning came, we were waiting for everyone to finish getting dressed so that we can go home. you sat by me while i'm hugging my stuffed bear and asked "can i hug you?". you were clingy when you're drunk, and funnily enough, i am too so i said yes. i think that was the first out of the many hugs we get to share. too bad the count finally halted.

we met again that afternoon for a photoshoot, and you, despite sleeping so soundly on the jeep to the point that your friend carried you to his apartment, turned out pretty decent. you looked great, like you weren't hurling hours before. that day was filled with so much bliss, and it's vividly etched in my memory. little did i know, the 6th of december marks a start of a beautiful friendship — so beautiful that the world doomed it to end terribly.

i don't want to delve deeper into what we had because even i cannot verbalize what that was. was there even a concept of "us" or was it just in my mind? all these years, the chronic thought of asking "what are we?" haunted me and what's sad is that i will never know the answer to that. maybe it's better not knowing. maybe it's better to just settle with the fact that you were the reason why my life was filled with bliss for a certain point in time, and for that, i will be eternally grateful.

at the back of my mind, i have this small box filled with little details about you. i know the song you listen to when you need that little push. you know how to braid someone's hair because you do your little niece's hair. you have this certain hyperfixation on this one particular italian word. oh god, i still remember how you smell like -- intoxicating, gentle, familiar.

and at the same time, you knew things about me, things i never even had the chance to verbalize out loud, but you still knew because you paid attention.

it will always be a mystery to me how you knew that i loved that particular song to the point that you asked me to sing it with you. i will never forget every single time you braided my hair because you knew i loved it when people play with my hair. you knew i love stickers, so you bought one that matched mine.

your arms, up until now, are what i consider my safest place in this world. no one has ever come close to the way you made me feel that night – the security, the serenity, the peace, everything – and five years later, you still own a part of me.

i'd like to think we knew each other pretty well -- perhaps to be loved is to be known. however, like the seasons, you and i went through drastic changes. we outgrew a lot of things, including each other. although sometimes, i think about these versions of us -- the version of us who deeply knew each other -- where did they go?

at nights when i walk home alone, or during spontaneous karaoke nights wherein i sing duets with a different person, and whenever i get the urge to braid my hair in the morning before i go to work, the question lingers, "what if?"

i'd like to think there's a universe out there wherein we decided to give in to chance. there's probably a universe wherein i decided to tell you that i love you, and you eagerly said it back. there's probably a universe in which the yearning and pining were mutual, and the love was unconditionally reciprocated.

like the song we sang to each other, i'd come home after a long day because in that world, you'll be mine and i'll be yours.

but that's all this was gonna be – a "what if". ours was never a case of bad timing because we're never made to course through this lifetime together. what we were were just ships that pass in the night — meant to meet at one point in time, but destined to sail off on our separate voyages, never to cross paths ever again.

it's bittersweet that i couldn't even say that our time has passed because we never even happened, but i grew to accept that i was never meant to be a part of your story. not a sentence, probably not even a phrase. i never made a mark on yours, but do remember that you are a whole chapter in mine.

#ships in the night #we can't be friends

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demona-andariel · 1 year ago

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A Simple Act of Kindness - 18 / ??

Fandom: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface) x OFC

Summary: Elizabeth wakes up in a stranger's home. Her fate to become another victim of the Hewitt family is all but sealed till a simple act of kindness changes her life forever.

Warning: (Encompassing the whole story in no particular order) dead dove, rape/Noncon, violence, forced marriage, kidnapping, cannibalism, explicit sexual content, loss of virginity, angst

Author Note: Minors DNI!

Word Count: 4.158

Chapter 18 - Consequences

“Hey, Tommy.” Hoyt flashed Thomas one of his wide smiles as Thomas stormed into the kitchen. “Wanna-”

You made me fail her!

Thomas’s knuckles connected with his uncle’s cheek, sending the old man sprawling onto the kitchen floor. Hoyt’s sheriff’s hat flew off his head and landed on the ground.

“Tommy?” his mother cried out in surprise.

“What the hell, boy,” his uncle Monty shouted.

The three of them had just gotten back from wherever they went for the day. Thomas hadn’t heard them leave in the morning. But then again, he and Elizabeth had stayed down in the dark, dank, messy basement for hours. He wanted her to be the one to make the move. To tell him that she wanted to go upstairs. Show her that she still had freedom. Choices. But she didn’t. She just waited. She wasn’t lying when she said she was done trying.

He finally gave in and indicated that he wanted her to go upstairs once he realized that she wasn’t going to move. They probably would have stayed there much longer, but he hated how she kept looking at the damned meat hooks. Was she wishing he’d just killed her?

Never you.

She didn’t fight or argue when he placed his hand on the small of her back and motioned toward the door. Those eyes.

Thomas was a butcher, had always been a butcher. Hell, he was born in the goddamn meat factory. The one and only place he worked at up until it shut down a couple years ago. He knew what death looked like for animals and humans. Humans were a bit more combative than the animals. Although, not all of them fought for their life till the end. Some gave up easily. But, they always gave up when they knew they were going to die. Those were the only times he saw the life leave someone’s eyes. Either when they died, or just before they died when they accepted their fate.

Yet, he’d never seen someone who was so alive look so hollow. He wanted to hold her close while also shake her. Make her recover faster. She had to understand she was going to be okay. He’d never let anything like that happen to her again.

But you couldn’t protect her then, why would she think you can protect her now?

Thomas grabbed a mug that was on the kitchen table and threw it hard at his uncle’s head, barely missing the man. The mug broke into multiple pieces the moment it hit the cabinet. It landed with a loud clatter onto the floor. Thomas’s nose flared as he took in deep, heavy breaths.

“Now, Thomas,” Hoyt said as he raised his hands in the air. “I know you’re pissed, boy. But listen to me.”

Listen to his lies? His excuses?

Thomas shook his head.

He had indulged his feelings of denial all day. By the time Elizabeth and him had gone back upstairs the sun was already up and the house was empty. A part of him was grateful that the family chose to leave them alone yet again. He wasn’t sure he could completely process the information with the three of them demanding his attention while his Elizabeth roamed like a zombie.

The silent house was both a blessing and a curse. It allowed him to think and try to understand the situation. While at the same time, it made him confront the truth. Or at least, it should have. But he had fought with his brain, pushing that to one side. Hoping that just maybe this was all some horrible nightmare.

He believed her. He just didn’t want to.

That was until he heard his uncle’s voice only moments ago when his family returned home. He’d been upstairs with Elizabeth, watching her get ready for dinner. Both had heard the car coming down the road. Hoyt’s jovial laughter boomed through the house right after he slammed the front door shut. That was when she finally showed some emotion, except it was turmoil that crossed her face as her whole body stiffened. And that’s what set Thomas off.

How could you?! To her? Thomas breathed heavily as he took a step toward his uncle who was on the floor.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t imagine Hoyt raping a woman. He knew from experience the old man could and had raped women in the past. Hell, Hoyt had even pushed and cheer Thomas into joining him on several occasions. It was how he lost his virginity after all. Not that he particularly enjoyed himself. He liked sex, he just didn’t like the things they call him. It would have been the one time, had Hoyt not egged him on to “enjoy them while they’re still breathing”. Their victims were going to die after all. And Hoyt was just… “getting you ready to please your future wife. Make all the mistakes with these ones.”

They always called him names. She never did that. She never attacked his looks. Even when he raped her in front of that Jason, she tried to get the man to stop calling him names. Her go to was to appeal to his humanity and kindness. The part of him that he reserved for only his family. Which was what made her so special to him.

Rage boiled inside of him as he clenched his fists.

Elizabeth wasn’t one of their victims. And, his uncle knew that. And Thomas thought he’d done everything to show his love and devotion toward his wife. Sure, they weren’t legally married but that was just on paper, and that was going to be fixed soon. As far as Thomas was concerned Elizabeth was his wife. She wasn’t on some rocky ground with Thomas thinking about just ending her life. Hell, even the attempted by Hoyt rape months ago pissed Thomas off. Not enough to hurt his uncle, but enough to throw a couple items when he pitched a small tantrum. He thought that had gotten the message across that Elizabeth was off-limits to Hoyt.

I trusted you with her! Thomas grabbed a chair that was in his way and flung it to one side. It hit the wall with a loud crash.

“Thomas, easy,” Hoyt said, keeping his hands raised in surrender. His mouth quirked into an uneasy smile. “Let’s talk about this.”

Talk? He should have talked to Thomas before raping her. Should have come to Thomas about his concerns. Let Thomas decide what he wanted to do, instead of destroying the best thing that had happened to him.

Thomas let out a roar of anger and picked up his uncle, slamming him against the kitchen cabinets. His fingers twisted the sheriff’s shirt as he pressed his body close to his uncle.

“She’s been lying to you, boy,” Hoyt snapped. He looked angry, but Thomas heard the fear and worry in his voice.

You betrayed me! You hurt her. Thomas punched him. Luda Mae let out a shriek while Uncle Monty shouted something. Hoyt looked stunned.

Elizabeth wasn’t wrong. Hoyt probably would have gotten away with what he did. No repercussions at all. Had this IUD thing been found out earlier. During the time Thomas’s sole focus was to get her pregnant. Because, he needed her pregnant. He needed her to have a reason to stay with him. Sure, he would have gotten angry with his uncle. But he would have let it slide in the end. After all, at the time, she wasn’t family yet. He knew she was going to be. Just needed to be pregnant with their kid to forever tie her to him. But, at the time she was still somewhat floating in the air. Almost close enough to pull into their circle, but not quite there yet. The thing was, she changed that when she didn’t run away at the first chance she got. She’d stayed and she wasn’t even pregnant.

He wasn’t sure how his family didn’t see it. Didn’t realize that she was one of them? How could they still saw her as a stranger? As one of their potential victims?

She’s my wife! She’s not one of them! She was never meant to be one of them!

Thomas roared and threw his uncle across the room. He embraced the rage and anger that flowed through him. For probably the first time in his life, Hoyt looked up at Thomas in fear.

Everyone knew Thomas was capable of violence. After all, it was Thomas who killed their victims. Thomas was the they sent to capture those who tried to escape. And he was good at chasing them down with his chainsaw and ending their lives. It was during those times that he allowed himself to go into that zone of hate and anger. The world had been cruel and unkind to him, so he let himself pay it in kind. He indulged the darkness and take out his frustrations on their victims.

But he’d never once turned his rage on his family. How could he? He loved them and they loved him. They were the only people who cared about him. Who took care of him. Who raised him. Protected him when they could. And they didn’t have to. They had no real obligations toward him. He wasn’t truly Luda Mae’s son. She’d found him at the meat factory. Thrown away by his very mother who apparently worked there.

“You’ll always be one of us, Tommy. Don’t matter whose blood flows in your veins.”

Thomas stormed toward his uncle and grabbed the man’s ankles, pulling him back.

“Thomas!” Luda Mae screamed. “Thomas, stop!”

He ignored his mother. Hoyt fought back. Or at least, he tried to. But, Thomas managed to grab his shirt and twist the fabric again, easily pulling the old man back to his feet. Hoyt’s name tag dug into his skin, causing a sharp pain, but he didn’t care.

He threw Hoyt up against the wall.

She was supposed to feel safe… be safe!

“Tom-” Hoyt’s words were cut off when Thomas punched him again.

I can’t even tell her that I didn’t know. That you did this without my permission. That I would have never given you permission to hurt her like that. To rape her!

Thomas let out a frustrated cry of anger again.

That was probably one of the worst things about the whole situation. He couldn’t talk. He couldn’t tell them how he felt. The betrayal of it all. The complete utter devastation and how broken she was now. He couldn’t tell her he had no knowledge. He couldn’t comfort her.

His lack of ability to really communicate had never been a problem before. Well, maybe in his early childhood. He had attended school, but it was one of the worst experiences of his life. His classmates teased and bullied him, while his teachers practically ignored him as if he weren’t there. He needed extra help with his work, and while his family were there for him, they didn’t see a real importance in getting an education.

Maybe he could have learned how to talk and communicate better, not perfectly, but something, had his family encouraged him. Had the kids at school not made fun of him. But, the bullying and neglect made him disinterested in talking all together. And his family respected his decision and didn’t push him. Talking wasn’t necessary for him in the end. There was no need. And he was content to listen to the family conversation and not join in.

Even when Elizabeth came into his life he figured it’d come to him just listening to her. That she wouldn’t want to get to know the man behind the mask. No one really did. But, it didn’t turn out that way. She actually tried to talk to him. Tried to have some sort of conversation with him to get to know him. She asked him questions about himself in ways that allowed him to answer. Hell, she had started to pick up on the meaning of certain noises that he made.

Oh how he yearned to be able to speak and form coherent words and not just make grunts and weird noises, just for her. Hell, even writing would be something. But he was illiterate as well. Knowing how to read and write wasn’t a problem when all he did for a living was butcher animals.

A book. The thought made him still for a moment. Yes. He needed to get her a book.

He’d heard that women like to read. Luda Mae always had some magazine on her. Thomas hadn’t been sure that Elizabeth even liked books. But, he gave her one that he still had lying around from one of their victims so she didn’t look so bored when she was recovering from her illness. It was clearly one of his better decisions. The way her eyes lit up with excitement had caused his heart to flutter and made him want to do that again. Get that reaction again.

Although, there had been a little bit of jealousy in him whenever he saw her reading a book. She seemed so fascinated and engrossed. He wanted to know what held her interest. Her eyes would sometimes light up and she’d get giddy at times. Why? He wanted to know. But, he couldn’t ask her. That would reveal he was illiterate. It would just be another mark on him. Another ding to show just how unworthy he was of her.

That won’t bring her back.

Thomas roared and his body shook with rage. He wasn’t worthy of her. He knew what he’d done was wrong. He knew forcing her to stay with him and live in his world wasn’t right. And he worked hard on making her life as simple and pleasant as could be. But that was all destroyed now.

You broke her!

“Tommy, stop!” Luda Mae called out, grabbing his arm in a vain attempt to stop him.

Thomas easily shrugged her off. No, he wasn’t going to stop. Not right now. His uncle was just lucky that he was family. Because it was the only thing that was keeping him from dragging the old man downstairs and introducing him to his chainsaw.

“Tommy, I did it for-” Hoyt’s words were stopped by another punch.

The sound of his uncle’s voice only infuriated him further. It was strange. He held his uncle in such high regard before, listening to him and sometimes even trying to emulate him. Any time his uncle praised him, he felt so proud. But right now, he just wanted the old man to shut up and keep quiet.

Thomas punched his uncle again. Only, the old man moved his head at the last second and Thomas’s fist went into the wall. He let out another sound of anger, mixed with pain. The name tag went a little bit deeper into his palm, forcing Thomas to let his uncle go. He took a step back to examine his hands.

Hoyt collapsed onto the ground without Thomas to hold him up.

Thomas stared at his bloody knuckles on his right hand, before turning to his left and opening his palm. He felt the pain flow through his arms. Pain… The pain didn’t matter. The pain… No wait… it did. It did matter. He deserved it. His uncle deserved it. Thomas felt both a sense of pride and need. He had to feel the pain. Had to punish himself as well as his uncle.

“God damnit, Tommy,” Hoyt wheezed. He slowly rose to his feet and spat out blood.

Luda Mae rushed toward her brother with a kitchen rag.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Uncle Monty snapped. Thomas glared at his uncle who was in a wheelchair.

Elizabeth had very little interaction with him over the rest of the family. At first, Elizabeth was meant to be Uncle Monty’s little caregiver. The old man had no legs, thanks to one of their victims and Thomas. He’d been shot in the leg and instead of taking him to the hospital, Hoyt had ordered Thomas to saw his leg off. Then the other “For balance”. Rather extreme, but Thomas didn’t question it.

But, Monty had made several “innocent” touches even in front of Thomas. He didn’t think Monty could do much else, he was in a wheelchair after all, but he wasn’t going to subject her to such treatment. Especially since Monty was good at playing innocent and using his disability as an excuse. Little did he realize that the real threat was Hoyt. Even after the incident months ago, Thomas still thought he could trust Hoyt to never try and rape her again.

“That bitch’s pussy,” Hoyt grunted.

Thomas let out a roar and rushed to his uncle.

“Thomas, stop!” Luda Mae commanded. A loud slap caught all of them by surprise. “That’s enough, Hoyt.”

Hoyt pressed his hand against his cheek in shock. “Owe, mama,” he said. His face was already swelling up, but he looked far more shocked that Luda Mae had slapped him.

Luda Mae stood up and placed her hands on her hips. She looked at Hoyt then at Thomas.

“I know you’re upset, son, but-” Luda Mae started.

“She lied to you,” Hoyt interrupted, spitting out more blood. He let out a grunt as he struggled to straighten his shoulder. “She tell you that? Made herself seem like she wanted to be a mama. But she don’t wanna have your kids, Tommy. We all fucked up. Really shouldn’t have-”

Thomas grabbed another mug and threw it at the wall, interrupting his uncle. The three adults froze as they watched him. Taking off his leather mask, he opened his mouth. He needed them to see. To know that his effort was serious.

His throat moved as he tried to figure out how to say it. He ignored the pain and tension from his struggle.

“W…” He shook his head and cleared his throat. Pointing up toward his room he tried again. “Ww… wwi… wwwife,” he managed to force out the simple word as firmly as possible. It was well worth the pain and difficulty. Although, he regretted not trying to say one word to her first.

The three adults looked at him, startled by his word.

“Tommy,” Luda Mae said softly as she took a step toward him, reaching her hand out.

He stamped his foot again, keeping his finger pointed up toward his room as he shook his head at them in disappointment. His room… no. Their room. Him and Elizabeth. His wife.

Still shaking his head, Thomas put his leather mask back on and took a step back from the three. His shoulders dropped and he lowered his arm. Exhaustion quickly replaced the rage and anger that was inside of him.

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh, leaning his head back to look at the ceiling. Betrayed. They’d betrayed him by hurting her in such a way. Family? What kind of family were they?

“I’m sorry, son,” Hoyt said. “Had I known… but, Tommy. She was-”

Thomas narrowed his eyes as he glared at his uncle.

Do it. Push me over that edge again. I won’t hold back. It was a lie though and he knew it. They probably knew it as well. He didn’t have the strength inside of him to kill anyone in his family.

“You’re right, Thomas,” Luda Mae said softly as she stepped in front of Hoyt. “Hoyt should never have taken to punishing her without your permission. She’s your wife. I guess we forgot about that. It would be so much easier if she had your kid, ya know? Truly make her a part of the family. But, I know it takes time. Just, Hoyt was angry on your behalf. He shouldn’t have done it. But, you know your uncle. Always wanting to protect ya.”

A part of the family. Thomas looked up in the direction of his room. But, she was a part of the family. They didn’t get that.

Giving his family one last look of disappointment, he shook his head and headed back upstairs. The stairs creaked with each step that he took. He just wanted to lay down in bed and cuddle up with her. Get her to soothe him, but he couldn’t ask that of her. He needed to be strong for her. Let her be the one to make the move, even though he was feeling pretty lonely.

Opening his bedroom door, he froze. Elizabeth sat on the bed. Her hands neatly folded on her lap. There was no way she hadn’t heard the commotion downstairs. No emotions, just a simple acceptance.

She licked her dry lips.

“Is it time to kill me now?” she asked.

He walked over to her and then rested his forehead against hers.

Never.

Taking in a deep breath, he slowly let it out. She smelled so good, as always. Pomegranate, she had said once. His mind brought up the memory of him giving her the shampoo. The way she popped the lid and took in a deep breath, smiling at him.

Straightening his stance, Thomas walked to the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and placed his hands under the cool water. There was something fascinating about watching the blood flow down his fingers, revealing his peeled skin better. His blood for once. Not someone else’s.

The cold water seeped into his skin, but he refused to lift his hands. He hadn’t done enough. He should have beaten his uncle some more. Broken a few teeth, maybe a limb or two. Really messed him up. But he held back. He knew he did, despite his rage. He gave him just enough of a beating to bring attention to his anger, but not nearly enough to truly get revenge for Elizabeth.

Once again, he’d failed her.

A warm hand on his wrist startled him. He gasped and jerked up as he looked at Elizabeth. Her eyes were on his hands for a moment, before she turned her attention to the mirror. His body remained still as he watched her open the mirror and pull out the first aid kit that was behind it. It was an item she’d requested. He didn’t think it was of any use, but apparently it was.

Placing the kit on the tank lid for the toilet, she opened it. She pulled the hand towel from its hook and then moved his right hand out of the water. Her fingers felt so soft and delicate on his skin. She was gentle, as if she were worried she’d hurt him some more. Taking the towel, she gently pat his hand dry.

He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to really breathe. Too afraid that one wrong move from his end would make her stop. She opened a bottle and dug her fingers into the jelly.

Thomas tensed, expecting some sort of sting or pain, but nothing happened as she gently coated his knuckles with a thin layer of the ointment. All too quickly, she was done and let that hand go. He wanted to reach out and kiss her, but her focus went to his other hand.

At first, he resisted, not wanting her to deal with that specific hand. It hurt a lot more than his other one did. But it was a pain he felt that he needed. But, he also didn’t want her to leave him just yet.

With a little sigh, he turned his hand and slowly opened his fingers. There were two clear cuts from the sharp edges of the name tag. He had ignored the pain as the plate dug into his skin, cutting into him while he held his uncle.

Elizabeth grabbed the plastic tube that had an ointment in it and squeezed some more out into his palm. Her fingers felt nice and she was gently but firm as she rubbed it into his cuts. Once she was done, she grabbed the only bandage that was in the kit and started to wrap it around his hand to cover the cuts.

Thomas felt a surge of panic. She was almost done and he didn’t want her to be. He wanted her to keep touching him.

She suddenly stopped, part of the bandage was still in her hand. He felt his heart pick up its beat. She probably remember now. She wasn’t supposed to care. Wasn’t supposed to try. Wasn’t supposed to feel.

Her own breathing deepened and a little tremble went through her body. He couldn’t help but marvel at how tiny her hands were compared to his, as her two hands held his one. Her eyes stayed focused on his palm. Slowly, her looked up at him.

“I don’t want to be here.” The words came out soft, her eyes pleading.

He stopped breathing for a moment. Then she snapped back into herself, pushing those emotions back. Clearing her throat, she looked back at his hand and finished wrapping it.

She hesitated for another moment, then let his hand go. Not another word came out of her mouth as she turned her back to him. Thomas swallowed back some saliva and watched her walk back into their room.

Yes, he thought as he nodded his head. I agree. I don’t want to be here either.

Chapter 19 - Hope

#thomas hewitt x oc #Smut #horror #fanfiction #Texas Chainsaw Massacre #noncon tw #tw noncon

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 1 year ago

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Hiiiiii! I hope you don't mind doing a match up for me! I go by Matilda, Liana, or Lia.

Fandoms: Howl's moving Castle and My Hero Academia

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: honestly probably asexual? I'm not aro, just ace. I don't really have a preference to either gender either. I would like to be matched with one male and one female from mha in particular if that's okay!

Zodiac/mbti: Scorpio, intj

Appearance: 5 foot 1. Shoulder length brown hair which has layers from a now outgrown wolfcut, and hime-style bangs. Brown eyes. Fair skinned. I think I'm pear-shaped. I'm an adult but i look like a 15 year old, which can get annoying. I have dark circles under my eyes due in part to allergies and also genetics

Personality: Like I said I'm an intj. I'm also mildly nd. My sense of humour is sarcastic. I'm pretty introverted and my social battery runs out fast if there are too many people around. I can also be pretty sensitive but i tend to brush that off rather than actually correct anyone or set boundaries, which i find difficult. I'm the eldest daughter so I have the typical eldest daughter syndrome. I enjoy having affection from others and will return it too, however i rarely initiate it despite longing for it. I'm also smart but lack confidence especially when speaking in class. I get very quickly enraged by misogynistic talk and often have the urge to fight someone, but i talk in a way which is misunderstood.

I am compassionate, and if someone comes to me with a problem my first thought is to work out how to solve it, and I tend to give logical advice. I can feel like my own feelings are overlooked and I am probably affection-hungry.

Likes and Dislikes: I like ramen, countryside, cottagecore stuff, notebooks, crystals, toys, playing with my hair, sweet nicknames, and i dislike math, loud noises, and snoring.

Hobbies: reading, writing, art, crochet, games

Hi Lia! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Howl's Moving Castle, I match you with...

This was a close call here between Howl and Sophie but I think you and Howl would get along better due to your differences.

He’s surprisingly good at noticing when your social battery is getting low and will be more than happy to help you get out of the situation or give you some personal space.

Howl is so glad you like cottagecore, that’s one of his main aesthetics. The fact that you like that only makes his cluttering tendencies even worse.

There are a lot of loud noises in the castle but Howl’s magic means he can mute the sound somewhat so it doesn’t bother you.

This man is very attention hungry as well so it’s a win-win when you’re showing each other in affection. Howl’s really good at giving you attention so if you’re the same, it will be a great time for both of you.

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

Tamaki is almost as different from Howl as possible but that doesn’t mean the two of you won’t get along amazingly.

You both lack confidence in yourselves but are supportive of each other so it balances out well. You can help each other when confidence is low.

Greatly values your compassionate nature. Tamaki needs a kind soul in his life to support him and he’s grateful for your presence. He’s also very compassionate and will reciprocate that nature for you.

Loves spending quality time with you, especially if you’re reading together or doing art. He finds it peaceful.

No loud noises to worry about when you’re around Tamaki. He’s avoiding them as well. If loud noises are unavoidable when you’re together, he’ll probably want to hold your hand for the mutual support.

In My Hero Academia, I also match you with...

Tsuyu is a good balance between Howl’s extroverted nature and Tamaki’s introverted personality. She’s an ambivert through and through, happy to be in the background or talk to new people.

Please crochet something for her! She needs to stay warm through winter so she’d love anything that fits that category. Scarves, gloves, jumpers, anything. She’ll treasure everything you make her.

I see Tsuyu as someone who likes crystals as well so she’ll bring some home if she’s out and about and finds some new ones you don’t have.

Really good at hyping you up when your confidence is low. She just knows what to say and when to say it to help your confidence build back up. She doesn't have many moments of low confidence but when she does, she would appreciate it if you do the same for her.

Respects your low social battery and will be more than happy to just spend time relaxing just the two of you. Especially during winter when her frog genes are acting up, she’s more likely to have her social battery run out as well so she likes being able to just be with someone she cares about.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #howl's moving castle #howl pendragon #howl jenkins #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #tamaki amakiji #tsuyu asui

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stargazer-sims · 2 years ago

Text

Journal Entry #48 (part one)

previously - Journal Entry #47 (part two)

Victor

It's Tuesday.

People tend to think Tuesday is the most uninteresting day of the week, 'cause nothing important ever seems to happen on Tuesdays. Well, that's not true for our household. Not today, at least. On this particular Tuesday, all hell broke loose around here.

Okay, to be more accurate, all hell started breaking loose yesterday afternoon, when Mr. Okamoto came back from the airport with not only his wife but also his brother-in-law. Nobody had any idea Uncle Kaz was coming, not even Mr. Okamoto, and needless to say we were all shocked when he strolled through the door, larger than life.

Julian had what I can only describe as a fanboy moment when Mr. Okamoto introduced him and Uncle Kaz. To his credit, though, he recovered his composure pretty quickly when he realized his celebrity man crush is really a regular guy and also just as much of a nerd as he is. Yuki, on the other hand, didn't calm down until it was almost time for bed. It was hard to say who she wanted to cling to more, her mother or her beloved uncle.

On a side note, at the suggestion of Uncle Kaz, Yuki has started addressing Julian as "Uncle Julian" instead of "Dr. Britt". He's tickled pink over it.

Anyway, in case you weren’t aware, Uncle Kaz brings the party with him wherever he goes. In the midst of all the madness, a boys' night somehow got planned for when things settle down, so Mr. Okamoto, Julian and Uncle Kaz can further their newfound three-way bromance. It was implied that Yuri and I are not invited, which is actually fine with me. I'm not sure either of us could handle it.

Yesterday evening was chaotic. I was grateful that I'd been able to excuse myself from it for a while and spend some time by myself, recording my journal entry. Usually, I don't mind lots of activity, but I'm still not feeling the best, and the constant noise and motion all around me were getting to be too much. The house is a little quieter tonight, by virtue of the fact that Mom, Julian and I are the only ones here, so I'm taking the opportunity to rest and tell you how things have been unfolding since yesterday.

The latest development, which I guess you may already know, is that I'm able to go up and down stairs now if someone helps me. Since stairs are back in my repertoire, I decided I'd spend last night with Yuri in his room so Uncle Kaz could take my spot in the dining room.

Uncle Kaz made jokes about not being able to sleep in his own bedroom in his own house — Yuri's room, as it happens — but his humour was good-natured and no one took it personally. I think he was happy to have his house so full. Meanwhile, Mrs. Okamoto claimed her spot in the laundry room with her husband and Yuki. I don't think this place was ever intended to accommodate eight people, but there we were.

I probably don't need to tell you that Yuri and I had a difficult night. He was in so much pain that no position was comfortable for him, and neither his parents nor I could do anything to ease his discomfort.

I managed to sleep a bit while his mother sat with him, but she woke me up when she was starting to fall asleep herself and said she needed to go to bed. Mr. Okamoto came in after that. He read to us, which I would've enjoyed if it hadn't been for the fact that I was too stressed to concentrate on it. I think he was reading out loud to distract himself more than to occupy us, but far be it from me to complain, in any case. The thought was still there, and that's what mattered.

Toward dawn, Yuri started throwing up, whether from the infection running wild inside him or simply from the amount of pain he was in, I didn’t know.

It was pretty traumatic, hovering uselessly by the bathroom door and hearing him cry for me between bouts of violent retching. There was nothing I wished for more in that moment than to have some magical power where I could hold him and make all his suffering go away. I wanted to be able to fix everything. Knowing I couldn't was like trying to rescue somebody I couldn't reach, just barely touching their hand and then having to watch them fall when I failed to hang on.

"Yuri, Victor's there in the doorway," Mr. Okamoto tried to assure him for about the fourth or fifth time. "There isn't room in here for all of us, but I promise he hasn't left you. He's right there."

Yuri's reply was practically unintelligible, but I made out my name and that he was scared. I couldn't tell what he was saying he was scared about, but in his condition, he certainly had plenty of reasons.

"It's gonna be all right, Yuri," I said, hoping I sounded convincing. "Your dad's taking care of you, and I'm not going anywhere. When you're all done in here, we can go back to bed, okay?"

"Okay," was the barely audible reply.

However, Yuri and I didn't end up back in bed together. He was so weak from pain and fever and the effort of his stomach forcibly emptying itself that he actually passed out in his father's arms.

I'm not ashamed to say I lost any sense of composure I might've had at that point. I'd already pretty much reached the threshold at which I stopped taking no for an answer, but that sealed it for me. Yuri was going to the hospital, whether he wanted to or not. I'd never seen him faint before, and if I'm being completely honest, I was terrified. There was no way we could cope with this at home any more.

Mr. Okamoto was in one hundred percent agreement with me about taking Yuri to the hospital. Like me, he'd been willing to let him stay home for a while, but the situation had escalated from serious to urgent, and nobody was interested in taking any more risks.

"We should call emergency services," I said. The way my voice was shaking might've embarrassed me under other circumstances, but just then I didn't really care what anyone might’ve thought of me.

Fortunately, Mr. Okamoto was the cool head we needed in the midst of our crisis. He addressed me in English, and it startled me enough to snap me out of my panic. "Victor, are you able to get dressed by yourself?"

"What?" I stammered.

I'll never get used to hearing my father-in-law speaking English. He sounds so unequivocally British that it's obvious he learned it in the UK, and it catches me by surprise every time. I don't know why it does, especially since Yuri's accent in English is that stereotypical posh British one too, but anyway... maybe it's because Mr. Okamoto doesn’t speak English to me very often, and in between times I sort of forget.

I took a breath and answered him before he had to repeat himself. "I, uh... I'm not sure if I can. Not completely. I might need some help."

"Very well," he said. "I'll help you. I'm not keen on waiting for emergency services take their time finding their way up the mountain. We'll take Yuri to the hospital ourselves. I'll drive."

"Okay," I said, because there was really no other answer.

"Could you go and wake Rei?" he asked, and then as if he thought I might not know who he meant, he amended, "Mrs. Okamoto. She can write a note for Kazuya and your parents. I don't think it's necessary to wake the entire household, do you?"

I thought about it, and concluded he was right. Mom and Julian would certainly want to know what was happening with Yuri, and I was sure Uncle Kaz would as well, but there was nothing they could do just then. It made sense to let them get as much sleep as possible. I could call my mom from the hospital later, once I was satisfied that Yuri was in safe hands and that he'd be all right.

"I'll be right back," I said.

"Be careful," said my father-in-law.

Mrs. Okamoto was already awake, as it turned out. She was sliding the laundry room door open before I even finished knocking. Despite having claimed she was exhausted, I assumed she hadn't gone back to sleep at all after Mr. Okamoto came to trade places with her in taking care of Yuri. I couldn't say I blamed her. She was probably too worried to sleep.

She asked me what was going on, and I quickly explained everything. I even awkwardly blurted out that Mr. Okamoto was going to help me with my clothes so that we could get going sooner.

"I'm already dressed. I'll help you, if you don't mind," she said. "Kenji will have his hands full enough."

Any other time, I would've said no, but this was not the moment to turn down well-intentioned assistance.

"That'd be good," I said. "Thank you. And would you mind writing a note for my mom, please? I don't want to get her out of bed, but I also don't want to just leave without telling her anything. I'd do it myself, but.. you know.”

"Of course," she replied. "I understand."

"Thanks."

We'd just turned to head back to Yuri's room when Mr. Okamoto emerged from the bathroom with Yuri in his arms. I caught the scent of Yuri's favourite strawberry soap. His father must've been trying to clean him up as best as possible, which I know from experience is not easy when the person you’re washing has absolutely no strength to participate in the task.

Even though I couldn't make out any details, I could tell Yuri was awake again. It looked like he was clutching his father's shirt. He was making small whimpering noises; not quite crying, but rather making the sound of someone who's too weak and exhausted to cry.

"I'm sorry, Papa," I heard him say. "I'm sorry."

I felt like my heart might shatter into a thousand pieces at that. The idea that Yuri thought he had to say he was sorry tore at me, and I wanted to tell him he had nothing to apologize for, especially not to his father. It wasn't his fault that he was sick. It wasn't anyone's fault, and he wasn't letting anyone down because of being unwell.

I had the irrational urge to yell at my father-in-law, This is what you've done to him! But of course I didn't. That would've been the worst possible thing.

I reminded myself that it was evident Mr. Okamoto was trying, and even though his current efforts were nowhere near enough to undo the years of emotional harm he'd caused, it was still progress. Maybe he was moving in the right direction to repair the damage he'd done, and if that was the case, I didn't want to be the one to break that fragile new thread between him and Yuri.

I wondered how Mr. Okamoto would respond, or if he'd even respond at all. I caught myself holding my breath. Forcing myself to exhale, I took a shaky step forward, my mother-in-law guiding me with her hand in the crook of my elbow.

What happened in the following seconds was unexpected and absolutely extraordinary.

Mr. Okamoto, who was still moving steadily toward Yuri's room, said quietly, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You… you shouldn't have to do this."

"You're my son," Mr. Okamoto said. "It's not about whether or not I have to. Do you remember what I promised you a long time ago?"

"No," Yuri admitted.

"I promised I'd always take care of you. That you'd always be my treasure. Even if you don't remember, I do."

"I… I'm sorry.” Yuri’s voice broke on the last syllable, and he made a sound that might’ve been a sob if it’d had any energy behind it.

"Shh… it’s all right, Yuri. Everything’s going to be all right.”

"It... it isn't. I promised myself... I wouldn't..."

The tail end of whatever Yuri was saying was mumbled, and they were passing through the bedroom doorway too, so I didn't understand it, Obviously his father did, though. Mrs. Okamoto and I had just reached the doorway ourselves when he said, "You're not a failure. Being who you are is all I ever expected from you."

"But, you don't like it," Yuri said miserably. "Who I am."

"I don't always agree with your choices, but that doesn't mean I don’t like who you are,” Mr. Okamoto said. “You haven’t failed at anything in my eyes. Even if you had, I wouldn't try to justify breaking my promise because of it.”

“But… you stopped loving me. I thought… Why…?”

As Mr. Okamoto carefully laid Yuri on the bed, he replied so softly that I wouldn’t have heard it if I’d been more than a couple meters away. "No, my treasure, I’ve never stopped loving you. I’m sorry if you believed I did. No matter what, I will never stop loving you.”

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #snowy escape #victorsworldadventures #Victor Nelson #Yuri Okamoto #Kenji Okamoto #Rei Okamoto #tw sickness #tw chronic illness #tw vomiting #tw injury #tw hospital #stargazersims

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eggoatt · 1 year ago

Note

Hi! I know I left a comment on my reblog, but I felt the need to send something a little more heartfelt. I'm going to try to be normal about this lol

That picture you drew was the first thing I saw this morning, and it has been sitting on one of my monitors ever since, just so I can glance at it any time I want—which quite honestly has been incredibly frequent.

It might seem like I'm a little too excited about this, but it's a huge deal to me. Before I started putting fics out (just south of a year ago now) I hadn't written anything in nearly a decade, so I didn't really have any expectations for what I put out. Of course, I thought about how cool it'd be if someone drew something directly inspired by something I wrote, but I always considered that a kind of a lofty thing? Would be nice if it happened, but I wasn't expecting it. And if it did happen, it'd probably happen much later on when I'm a little better at writing.

All of that to say this is the first time I've inspired anyone to make art from my material. That means so much to me and I am unbelievably grateful to you for that. Also, WOW, it's from someone who has also drawn one of my absolute most favorite SciSet pics ever too?? I adore the way you draw Sunset, so when I saw this was from you I actually gasped so loud my wife heard me from the other room lol.

I mentioned this briefly in my reblog, but I really love the way this picture is composed. When I write scenes, they tend to play out in my mind in full motion with great detail, so what I envision can be incredibly specific, yet I really feel like you managed to capture details I hadn't really put words to. The color scheme in particular—lots of blues and purples, but with just the right amount of saturation to match the pink. Visual arts are not my forte, so I apologize if that doesn't make the most sense.

Lastly, I would like to ask just a couple things:

Would you be alright with me posting a blog about this on fimfic? This might seem like kind of a weird question, but I always like to make sure I clear this kind of thing with someone first. Naturally your username and links to everything would be prominently featured.

May I put this in the author's note of Chapter 8(b)? Just like before, your username and links will be prominently featured alongside it (also, if you'd like to send me a watermarked version, I'd be alright with putting that up too). I just really love this picture and would love it to be the way people visualize that part of the chapter, but I want to make sure that's alright with you first, and I also want to make sure you get the credit you deserve.

Anyway, I won't ramble any longer than necessary. Sorry for throwing a book in your inbox, but thank you for the picture, and for ensuring that no matter what else happens today, I have something to be happy about 🥰

hi!!

we've actually been mutuals for a little while (you reblogged something of mine, and i liked your taste in horse content) but back in april by complete coincidence i stumbled across your fimfic account as well and kind of fell in love with your work. the way you write sunset, your inner voice for her, speaks to me on an insane level to the point where it's informed some of my personal projects (ocs) a bit. i also really enjoyed seeing how rapidly and drastically your writing had improved over the works you had up at the time-- it made me really excited to see what you would do in the future! i even made a new account and started using the site again just so i could keep up :3 if nothing else, you've touched this creature's heart very deeply

like i said in the original tags, i've been meaning to make fanart of this scene for MONTHS and finally releasing those brainworms felt a bit like an exorcism, lol. i'm so happy i hit the mark and brought you as much joy as you've brought me !!!!

to answer your questions!:

sure!! it is fanart For You after all

same as above, go for it :3 (it is actually watermarked already! i prefer making it difficult to see so it's not distracting. take a closer look at sunset's elbow)

silly bonus trivia about the drawing: i needed a visual reference to help me with the poses, and the best ref i found just so happened to be a picture with obama in it. it's not my fault they look so tender

#woofbarkmeow

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rrenzwrld · 2 years ago

Text

mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe

a third part just in case someone wanted it.

enjoy! @mellyie @sunandstarsco

3:30PM - SATURDAY

“So you wanna leave at 5?” Armin asked as he sat up at the island.

“Hmm.. I don’t know… It shouldn’t take nothing but like, what thirty minutes?”

“Yeah but traffic could be really bad down there. And I wanna make sure we have a seat.” I nodded in understanding. I contemplated on how long it would take to get Celest and myself ready.

“Well let me get Celest up-“

“I’ll get Celest up. You get ready.” I was about to mention himself but I noticed he was already dressed in a cream colored sweater tucked into a pair of dark jeans. I’d be lying if I said that Armin never dressed himself well.

“So you’ll get Celest dressed while I..?”

“Yes, Chy. I got Celest, go get ready.” He laughed.

After I had gotten my shower and freshened up, I dressed myself in a cropped white tank top, light jeans, and a cream-colored cardigan. I didn’t wanna dress up too fancy for it all to be for no reason. I let my faux locs fall down to my waist, not bothering to style it into anything.

“You ready?” Armin opened the door just a enough to poke his head through.

“Yeah. Where’s Cee?” Armin opened up the door a little wider so that she could come running in, dressed cute in the Titan’s colors, forest green and white.

“There’s my baby!” I picked her up and sat her on my hip. “You look so pretty~” I peppered her soft cheeks in kisses as she had a giggling fit in my arms.

“I see you did her hair.” I looked at Armin’s attempt at small space buns and didn’t complain. “I like it.”

“Aw,” He sits down on the bed and I put down Celest. “I try. I though you said you were ready.” I kept switching between the white block heel boots and white leather converses.

“I am, I’m just…”

“The boots.” I turned to Armin with the boots in hand.

“Really? I don’t wanna look too fancy..” He rolled his eyes, probably fed up with me by now.

“You’ll be fine~ we gotta go!”

We pulled up to the venue, meeting Layla there. Armin practically rushed us in the stadium after security met us at the gate. Armin explained that Layla and I were accompanying him and with his words, he found a way to get us in without tickets or verification. I couldn’t be more grateful.

“Armin, thank you so much.”

“My pleasure. There’s seats close to courtside if you wanna grab them before it’s too late.” He says, handing me Celest’s diaper bag.

“You’re not watching with us?” Layla frowned. He held up the expensive camera that was around his neck and waved it at us.

“I got a job to do. Bye~” He waved to Celest, Layla, and I before jogging off somewhere. We found some seats a row above courtside and sat, waiting for the game to start.

Surprisingly enough, Celest sat fairly still in my lap as she played silently with her basketball plush. Her eyes would go from the small toy to what was going on out on the court. At that moment, I didn’t have a particular emotion because this all happened too fast. This could all be a dream as far as I knew.

“Don’t look now but..” Layla nudged me softly and pointed out to the court.

“What?”

“Number two..” My eyes scanned the court for a player with the number two jersey to see what she was talking about. And there I saw him, warming up on the court. He looked exactly how I left him. As if we were fresh out of high school again. I looked at Celest and noticed we were looking out at the same thing. The difference was that I knew who it was out there, she didn’t and I was gonna fix that.

After I got out of my trance, “Layla, when does the game start?”

“7 I think. You better scream as loud as you can when he hit that 3-pointer.” She joked. I shoved her playfully.

“Shut up.” I laughed.

The game started and I could feel the energy of everyone in the room as it erupted in screams and clapping. I had never seen Connie play before now if it wasn’t at a high school game and at that moment I knew. He had every right to be on that court. He did everything so effortlessly as if it all came natural to him. I was so proud of him and I wasn’t even sure if he remembered me.

“Woooo! C’mon Cee. Let’s cheer for daddy! Woooo!” Layla had sat Celest in her lap and used her little hands to clap with the rest of the crowd.

“Layla.” I side-eyed her to keep her voice down.

“What? Nobody’s listening.” I looked around and my eyes landed on a older woman who resembled Connie. I recognized her as his mother and didn’t expect her to be so close. But then again, we were near the courtside and if it wasn’t other celebrities down there, it was the parents and families of the players.

I rapidly tapped on Layla’s shoulder and her head snapped towards me.

“Girl what?” I pointed to the lady who was sitting courtside a few seats away from us.

“Who’s that?”

“Connie’s mom.” Her mouth hung wide in surprise.

“Can we say hi?”

“No!” Celest started to whine and a foul smell clouded my nose. I picked up Celest and put her diaper bag over my shoulder. “I’m gonna change Celest. Don’t do anything stupid.” I loved Layla, but it was a shame how I had to warn her not to do anything stupid even if she was old enough to know not to do it.

She rolled her eyes. “Fine…”

I went to the bathroom to change Celest and was about to leave out when a beautiful woman stopped us as she was drying her hands. She was dressed in a tight dress and red bottoms, with long bone-straight hair that nearly reached her butt. She was probably a basketball wife, just one that was actually nice enough to speak.

“She’s really cute.” The woman complimented as I held onto Celest’s small hand.

“Thank you so much! You wanna say thank you, CeeCee?” Celest managed to say somewhat of a ‘thank you’ to the woman before we headed out and back onto the court. I looked over and saw that Layla had stayed put so I sighed in relief.

“So what happened? Did I miss anything?” I asked as I sat down with Celest in my lap.

“It’s a time out right now. Want some fries?”

After the game, Armin texted me and told me to wait for him to come get us. After waiting a few minutes, Celest started to get antsy so I stood up and started to leave, trying to look for Armin myself.

“Chy. What are you doing?” Layla questioned as she followed behind me.

“Going to look for Armin. I gotta hurry up and get home so I can get ready for work tomorrow.” I got Celest’s bottle of apple juice and handed it to her, to hold her for a bit until we got home.

“You call him?”

“No, I-“

“Leaving so soon?” A voice called out from behind me. I picked up Celest and put her on my hip with her juice in hand. I didn’t turn around. Did I already know who it was?

#aot #aot x reader #aot x oc #aot connie #connie #connie springer #basketball au

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eclecticpatrolroadlawyer · 2 years ago

Text

We Hate you

Masterlist

Notes: This is the first part.

Summary: What if you love someone and fully trust him betrays you in the worst possible way?

Pairings: Husband! Nick Fowler x wife! Reader (Y/n)

Warnings: angst, betrayed, death.

Prequel of "Ruin"// ''We love you''(alternate ending of Ruin)

Y/n's pov

'He is late again' I sighed at the thought. It has been going on like this for 10 weeks now.

Hell even more than that but I am tired of keeping counts. It has been like this since he came from a particular mission. He had been distant from me. No kisses, no hugs. He was a CIA agent so, it was normal for him to be busy but today was our anniversary night. I was supposed to surprise him with my pregnancy test. It was wrapped in a beautiful light green box with pink wrap. But these days, I don't know it feels like he has been intentionally avoiding me. I sigh at these thoughts again doubting Nick would ever cheat on me or not. I still remember the first day we met after all I am the core key of the CIA and they have to protect me from all those threats I have been getting. That's why they hired Nick as my bodyguard who is an outstanding agent of the CIA. One of the most successful agents who never failed. I closed my eyes thinking about the day when I and Nick met.

-"Miss Y/n Y/l/n, please meet Nick Fowler. The best agent in our department." Agent Derek says coming in through the door.

I move my eye from him to a handsome fellow beside him. 'Wow! He is handsome' was my first thought without realising I said it out loud.

-Suddenly when Nick smirked and said "Well, this handsome fellow is grateful that she can serve a beautiful lady like you, Miss Y/n".

I blinked and furrowed my eyes for a sec and winced realising that I said it out loud.

- " I am sorry Mr Nick for my inappropriate action. I didn't realise my thoughts slipped out. This doesn't happen usually and I can guarantee you this will never happen again. " I smiled.

-"Well if I am showered with such comments, then I don't mind, Miss Y/n." He winked at me and smirked seeing the effect he has on me.

I was amazed and shocked by his smooth flirty nature actually and yeah you can say flustered too. It was the first time I was so damn nervous after meeting a guy. I came to feel the tension between us. I was so mesmerised at that moment that I didn't realise that we both were having a staring contest.

-Suddenly, we both were forced to get out of our trance after we heard Mr Derek clearing his throat and saying "So, as I can see Miss Y/n, he is to your liking. So, we are gonna move on and start our meeting discussing the terms and conditions now. Are you ready, miss Y/n? ".

-I nodded while staring back at those beautiful blue eyes which have become dark now with lust "Yes, I am ready."

After that day, he became my bodyguard and then as days went by, he became my boyfriend and without realising and in a blink of an eye, he became my husband and my true soulmate for the rest of my life. I sighed happily thinking about all our days together caressing my 2 weeks pregnant belly thinking about our child but was interrupted by sudden movements inside the house. I opened my eyes instantly.

'What the hell, why I wasn't notified of any external presence inside the house. Is it Nick? But I should have heard or noticed his car coming...' I furrowed my eyes.

I gulped nervously. Even though I knew how to fight but due to my pregnancy I have been weak. I took my pocket knife from the nightstand and slowly moved toward the living room. I looked around for a while but there was no one. No sign of anything. I checked here and there to look for any signs but nothing. My brain sighed in relief but my feelings and heart didn't. I knew something was wrong. I was never wrong after all I was also a successful agent one time. After some minute, I sighed and started walking back towards our shared bedroom when suddenly I heard a sudden noise behind me. Shuffling noise u can say. I froze and suddenly swung my knife at whoever the person was there but suddenly someone caught my hand in defence but before I could do anything, the person spoke "Hey, baby it's me, Nick. Don't worry. You are safe" I sighed in relief but soon I asked "But why didn't I notice your car. I should have noticed huh!? "

"Well, my car is in the garage so, I walked on my own and came home. Sorry I didn't inform you. " He said but I noticed a slight nervousness in his voice but decided to ignore it since it was our anniversary night.

I circled my arms around him and rub my nose against him. "Well, it's okay. But you scared me there you know." I closed my eyes taking in his smell as we twirl around and danced together without any music though but just enjoying the beautiful peaceful time. His smell makes me feel soo safe that I feel like I am home. Without him, I don't think I can ever imagine what's family and home are. I wanted to cry but I know how much it hurts to see tears in my eyes. I look up at him and his beautiful blue eyes as he placed his hands on my hips.

"I love you, you know" I smiled as my eyes softens taking in his handsome face. But suddenly I felt his body tense around my body and he squeezed my hips lightly as if he was nervous but his face didn't show anything. I furrowed my eyebrows in lack of response and as soon as I was gonna ask what was going on, I was interrupted by him asking if I wanna enjoy the wine he brought. I stayed silent for a sec but then I nodded my head saying yes.

While he was gone to fill our glass, I sat on a chair near the table deep in thought about his odd behaviour toward Nick. I didn't notice he was back until he tapped on my shoulders asking me "Are you okay, honey? You seem a little tense and spaced out there.". I gulped down the lump forming in my throat and set aside my thought saying " Yes, everything is alright hubby, just was thinking how I got so lucky to have you for so long." I smiled. Again his hold tighten around my shoulder but for a sec then he made me stand up and gave me the glass. "It's okay darling but I think I am the one who is lucky to have you." He smiled and added, "So, let's set aside the talks and thoughts and let's cherish and celebrate this moment by drinking our glass darling. Cheers!"

After clinking our glass together, we drank and then he suddenly hold his hand out lovingly and asked bowing a little "May I have this dance, your highness?".After I put my hand into his hand, I asked Siri to play 'Can't help falling in love with you by Hailey Reinhart.

As we danced together, suddenly I felt my chest tighten as if felt like someone is trying to choke me. I wanted to breath and my heart was beating so fastly as if it's also trying to breath. My vision was starting to blur and I let go off Nick and stumbled upon the chair and then I fell down and I saw Nick kneeling with eyes full of guilt saying sorry over and over again.

"What did you do you fucking bastard?" I hissed angrily grabbing his collar tightly with all my strength I could have. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" I ask again screaming in front of his face and breathing heavily.

"You know I was assigned to do this before we met. All of this was just play to make your guard down and lure you in. " He said removing my hair from my face and putting it behind my ears with his monotonous voice and cold eyes

At that time, I felt like my whole life was a lie. That all of this was an act the moments we shared everything. Our first kiss, sex,marriage everything. Tears started to roll down my eyes slowly as I stare shockingly at him. I couldn't belive and hear anything anymore. 'What about our baby?' I thought. I don't have words to describe my feeling anymore. I don't know what to say. But I wanted all of this to be a bad dream and lie. 'No! No! Please wake up. Please someone wake me up. Please. Please.' "Please"I choked out as I closed my eyes tightly letting my tears fall. I wanted to cry loudly, scream, pound on his chest asking why.

"Why? WHY?" I choked as I suddenly start coughing up blood and breathing heavily. Many questions were going through my mind but one question I wanted to ask before I die. "Di... Did you ever fall in love with me?" I asked looking at him in his eyes searching for an answer or something hope. My eyes were begging him to say something but all I got was silence. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to scream break things and gosh... I don't know.

Then I heard the heels clicking around the house on the floor . I opened my eyes to see her. Mace. It was the most worst feeling I felt. I wanted to puke. I looked at him with my wide horrified eyes wanting to ask if it's what it looks like but I couldn't find anything in his cold monotonous eyes. Nothing. No hope. It felt as if I was staring into eyes of soulless empty person completely opposite of the person I knew who was my husband. Then she knelt down in front of me gripping my jaw she made me look at her and said "You know, being his wife, you were pretty lame." She smirked and whispered in my ear lightly so that Nick couldn't hear " But thanks to you and your dumbass brain, he is all mine now darling." She winked and let go off my jaw.

I felt pathetic at that time. Felt weak and hated myself that I couldn't do anything . I hated myself that I wasn't a good mother and couldn't protect my unborn child. It didn't even took his first breath and I couldn't ever hear it's voice calling me 'Mama'. I wanted to cry. But I couldn't let them enjoy the moment of seeing my pathetic state. I took a deep breath in and said what I wanted to say with all my strength left in me cause I knew Nick loved me and what will he feel when he will look into the gift I chose for him. I knew Nick very well or not. I don't know but still I had to say it. "You know don't ever be sorry. I trusted you. Gave my whole heart. My mistake, not yours" I said as he looked at me as if his whole world crumpled down but he was quick to cover it under his cold eyes . That's why I choked out with all my strength left in me "We hate you but still forgive you after all I loved you . Hope you love your gift I chose for you, Darling. " and then I let darkness engulf me thinking about the family we could have if this didn't happen as I felt the world disappear under my closing eyelids.

IT WASN'T

YOUR FAULT.

IT WAS MINE,

FOR BELIEVING

EVERY WORD

YOU SAID.

A/n (Author's note) : Should I write Nick Fowler's pov too?

Note: Hey guys! Hope u like it. English is actually my second language so, if there's any mistake u can inform me by messaging me privately. And PLEASE REBLOG and DON'T STEAL MY WORK. Please like and comment too so, that I can know ur guys views. Thank u for reading guys! Have a nice day and please comment if u wanna be tagged in.

@angstysebfan @cjand10 @medelinee @tapedeck-hearts @adoringsebstan

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adoringhaikyuu · 4 years ago

Text

when their teammate has a crush on you

characters: kageyama, kenma, oikawa, tanaka

warnings: nothing, just some pouty boys and possessiveness

notes: i stumbled upon @kageyuji‘s take on this while i was writing! so i thought i might as well give them a shoutout!

kageyama:

you already know this boy speaks up with no shame

and he will glare at anyone who gets in his way or on his nerves, especially when they do anything to you

so when hinata doesn’t even try to hide that he likes you, saying boldly “well why should i lie?”

you could only imagine the rage that kageyama is feeling

he doesn’t even want you in the same room as hinata sjkdfghsdj

he will pick either you or hinata up and take you away, depending on the situation

or he’ll take hinata’s face in his hand and just throw him away

but the boy always bounces right back, somehow unharmed and you’re grateful for that

but anyway it’s not that hinata is necessarily trying to break the two of you up, it’s more that he’s genuinely confused as to why you’re with kageyama

“how could you possibly like this bully? is there something wrong with you?”

he got chased by kageyama immediately after saying that––

your eyes widened as you saw a flash of orange jump in front of you as you walked towards the gym, ready to meet kageyama to go home. “y/n! y/n! could you please throw some balls for us?! yachi had to go home but we really wanna practice some more!”

you stepped back and your boyfriend came out of nowhere, practically smacking the other boy out of the air, leaving him to crouch on the ground, clutching the top of his head as he scowled at the dark-haired boy. “calm down you idiot! y/n doesn’t have to if they don’t want to! they’re probably tired anyway and just wanna go home.” he turned to you and gave you a small smile. “you wanna go?”

you looked between the two. “i mean...i can help you guys practice for a little bit.”

the other boy sprung up again. “oh! thank you! thank you!”

your boyfriend bowed his head quickly. “thank you.”

you smiled up at him and he felt his cheeks redden. “of course, tobio.” a smile spread on his face as well but it was short-lived as hinata spoke up, suddenly inches away from the two of you.

“what’s up with your face? why do you look like that?”

kageyama scowled down at him. “nothing’s wrong with my face! what’s wrong with your face?!”

“why are you yelling at me?!” hinata turned to you, “he’s so mean! how are you with him?” he looked down and mumbled to himself, “i wouldn’t treat you like this...”

kageyama’s eyes widened with rage. “what was that?!”

“n––nothing!” the smaller boy backed up, eyes wide with fear.

“you know what? we’re leaving.” kageyama stormed into the gym and quickly got his things, ignoring hinata’s pleas.

“aw what? why?! come on kageyama!” he turned to you, “y/n please––”

suddenly you were facing your boyfriend’s back as he stood in front of you to glare at the other boy. “don’t even think about it. we’re done for today.” he turned to you and grabbed your hand, tightening his hold when you waved goodbye to a pouting hinata.

when you were almost off the premises you looked up at kageyama. “you know you’re kinda hot when you’re jealous,” you smirked up at him and he stuttered in shock.

“what–i–you––”

you laughed and kissed the back of his hand softly, immediately giving him a nosebleed. you handed him a tissue which he gratefully took, glaring at you weakly.

“you know i’m yours, right?”

he swallowed and blinked a couple times before nodding once.

“then you have nothing to worry about, okay?”

he started muttering to himself, the only words you could make out being “idiot” and “dumbass”. you placed your hands on his cheeks and he stopped and looked down at you, eyes wide.

“okay, tobio?”

he nodded. “okay.” he paused. “but that doesn’t mean i’m going to be nicer to that idiot––”

you laughed. “yeah baby, i know.”

kenma:

let’s say you’d been dating kenma for a while now, a little lowkey

and everything is fine, everything is going really well

kenma likes it when you hang around the team, the team likes you

you’re like a part of the squad

and kenma’s feeling great about it

until lev comes along––

kenma already doesn’t like this boy, he doesn’t even know how to hit a ball properly––

but when kenma notices the way the tall boy blatantly stares at you during practice, the way he always tries to butt into your conversations and show off to you...

kenma’s practically radiating angry chihuahua energy, the air around him red and he looks like he’s two seconds away from biting––

if lev interrupts your convo w him sometimes he’d just stare at the boy deadpanned and go back to his conversation with you, “anyway–”

or he’d take your hand and lead you away

or he’d literally just say “go away, lev.” and the poor boy would just pout and whine, “aww what? why?”

one time lev tried to tag along on one of your dates and you had to step in front of kenma so he wouldn’t kick the boy in the shins or something

lev really wasn’t trying to do any harm, he was just a big lanky puppy who had a little crush on you

but still, kenma wasn’t having any of that

kuroo leaned on the wall next to where kenma was leaning against it, sipping his water during their ten minute break. he smirked down at his friend teasingly, “so what are you gonna do about your new competition?”

kenma wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, putting the bottle on the floor as he practically snarled. “shut up.”

“woah,” kuroo smiled, raising his hands up in mock surrender. “put your claws away, man. i’m just asking.”

kenma simply grumbled in response, making his friend laugh.

“well you should think fast cause it looks like he’s getting real close to y/n right now––”

kenma’s head snapped up immediately and his jaw clenched when he took in the sight across the gym. lev was lying on the bench, practically half his body folded, his legs bent on the ground, his head on your lap, his eyes closed.

kenma huffed and stomped over to you two, some of his other teammates jumping out of his way when they felt the almost deadly aura around him. he stopped right in front of you and you looked up at him.

he blinked. “why is lev on you?”

you shrugged, “he said his head was hurting and then just plopped his head in my lap.”

said boy finally opened his eyes and perked up, “oh hi kenma! my head’s been hurting from all this hard practice so i thought i’d rest a bit.”

your boyfriend’s eye twitched. “on y/n?”

“yeah!” the boy smiled, somehow completely oblivious to the setter’s rage. “they’re real soft, you know––”

“yes.” kenma interrupted, blunt as ever. “i know.”

noticing the increasing tension, you spoke up. “hey lev?” he looked at you happily. “your head’s feeling better now, right?”

“well i guess so...”

“maybe you should go get some water and some fresh air then, yeah?”

he pouted, “but maybe i should stay for just a little longer–” kenma was about to pop a blood vessel.

“trust me,” you guided him up gently. “this is what’s best for your health.”

as soon as he agreed and walked away from you, you looked up at your boyfriend with a smile on your face and pat your thighs. he eagerly took lev’s place and looked up at you with a furrow in his brows that you were quick to smooth out with your thumb, smiling when he visibly melted at your touch. you ran your fingers through his scalp to calm him down and he purred, leaning into your hands.

“stupid lev...” he mumbled to himself and you laughed, leaning down to kiss his forehead, making him blush immediately.

“you have nothing to worry about, okay? i’m yours.”

he blinked, trying to calm his heartbeat, a small smile on his face. “good.”

oikawa:

alright let’s switch things up a lil bit and mention someone i’ve personally like never seen mentioned in this scenario

let’s say mad dog likes you

oh boy

so at first oikawa thinks he’s seeing things

but once he notices how kyoutani opens the door for you, the way his eyes linger on you a little more when you come to practices or to the games, the way he gives you a small smile every now and then––

kyoutani doesn’t smile for anybody!!––

oikawa’s eyes narrow and he gets a bad feeling in his gut

otherwise known as jealousy

now he knows you’d never leave him or anything like that, but the fact that you start getting closer to the walking time bomb and you become the only other person that he listens to besides iwaizumi––

oikawa doesn’t like that at all

he’d get all pouty and would literally drag you away from your conversations with the younger boy, almost whimpering when he glares and practically growls at him

“where is y/n-chan??” oikawa asked to no one in particular, his hands on his hips.

kindaichi stopped and picked up one of the stray balls on the floor, “oh i saw y/n outside with kyoutani.”

“what?!” oikawa pracitcally shrieked, making the younger boy jump. he mumbled to himself, “i swear we need to get mad dog a collar with bells on it––” he stomped over to where the two of you were, a strained smile on his face as he noticed you laughing, kyoutani’s cheeks slightly pink.

“well what do we have here?” he said forceful but cheerful.

you looked to your boyfriend with a smile and kyoutani simply glared at him, but then again, that was just his face. “oh we were just getting some fresh air. are you done practicing your serves?”

“i sure am.” he smiled, pulling you close to him by your waist and pressing an obnoxiously loud and wet kiss to your cheek which you immediately wiped off with a grimace, which he did not appreciate. “y/n-chan!” he whined, “that’s not very nice!”

“well don’t make it so wet next time,” you rolled your eyes.

noticing the other boy still hadn’t made a move to leave, your boyfriend spoke up. “shouldn’t you be leaving now, mad dog?”

you smacked his chest and he yelped. “don’t be so rude, tooru. he was keeping me company while you did your extra practice, you know.”

he pouted and looked to the ground.

“i should be getting home, anyway.” the blond spoke up gruffly. his eyes softened almost imperceptibly as he looked at you. “see you, y/n.”

you smiled, “bye kyou.”

“bye mad-dog!” your boyfriend practically sang, as he looked over his shoulder at the boy leaving. he turned back to you and you pursed your lips at his behavior, making his shoulders droop in shame.

“you’re such a big baby, you know that?” although you insulted him, your voice was soft and he couldn’t help but smile at the way you cooed at him, your hands holding his cheeks. “but you’re my baby, okay? stop worrying so much about kyoutani.”

he nodded. “okay...” his eyes widened hopefully, “can i get a kiss please?”

you smiled and shook your head, before leaning in. he really was a baby sometimes.

tanaka:

you already know this boy is loud

and he likes to show off what’s his because he’s just so proud that you’re his and he loves to fawn over you

so he’ll always have a hand on you, an arm around you and he’ll always shower you in compliments whenever he sees you

a total simp

and that’s just in general

so when his friend likes you ??? bruh

let’s just say nishinoya thinks you’re kinda cute,,, okay really cute and his crush only (unwillingly) grew for you after you started dating tanaka and hanging out with them all the time

he’d be really excited whenever you were around, a pink tint covering his cheeks, a smile glued to his face

he’d try to show off during practice and games, looking to you after he lands a successful rolling thunder

and tanaka would be growling in the corner sdfghj

he’d literally try to one up his friend immediately and would scream to you in the stands “I LOVE YOU BABY THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!!”

after they win he’d pull you into a crushing hug and give you loud kisses all over your face

he’d do the most and then he’d smile all smug making sure everyone including nishinoya saw

you laughed as noya jumped several feet in the air to high five you after winning their game, a bright smile on his face. “did you see that last receive i did y/n? did you?”

you nodded, laughing. “yes i did noya, it was really impressive.”

his cheeks turned pink and he ducked his head, scratching the back of his head nervously as he waved you off. “ah it wasn’t all that...it was pretty good though, huh?”

before you could respond, you saw a flash of movement in front of you before you were suddenly being hoisted into the air. you gasped and wrapped your arms and legs around your boyfriend, “ryu!––”

“hey baby!” he practically yelled, smiling up at you and not so subtly walking away from his best friend with you in his arms. “did you see me hit that last spike? your man looked pretty good out there, huh? better than everyone else right?”

daichi who was walking by the two of you quickly hit the back of tanaka’s head in warning, hearing his words. “watch it––”

tanaka turned his head, “uh i mean you looked great too captain! couldn’t have done this without you––”

“yeah yeah,” he walked away, rolling his eyes and you laughed yet again, grabbing your boyfriend’s attention.

he looked up at you with wide eyes, squeezing his arms around you tighter and you smiled, putting your hand on his cheek. he nuzzled into your touch softly and you pressed a kiss to his lips, making him blush immediately. “of course i was watching you, and yes you looked very very good out there. i’m so proud of you.”

he smiled wide but tried to act oblivious when you went on, “you know you kinda interrupted my conversation earlier with––”

“well anyway! i think we should get going now--” he spoke far too loud, walking faster from the gym, making you shake your head at his adorably possessive behavior.

you leaned your head on his shoulder fondly, “you know you can be ridiculous sometimes ryu...”

he huffed quietly, “well you still love me right?”

you smiled. “always.”

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