#but this is mainly bughead
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My top ships and friendships to get to know me:
I’m mainly a Abbott blog but I love all of these shows and relationships and I know no one asked but I wanted to share
Janine x Gregory (Teddie)
Amanda x Sonny (Rollisi)
Betty x Jughead (Bughead)
Castle x Beckett (Castle)
Nathan x Haley (Naley)
Friendships:
90% of the friendships on Criminal Minds and Abbott Elementary especially Morgan and Reid and Jacob, Gregory and Janine
#janine teagues#gregory eddie#teddie#abbott elementary#sonny carisi#amanda rollins#rollisi#law and order svu#betty cooper#jughead jones#bughead#riverdale#richard castle#kate beckett#castle#nathan scott#haley james scott#naley#one tree hill#derek morgan#spencer reid#jacob hill
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Riverdale Musicals (and music numbers) Ranked!
This is mainly about the songs, which is informing my ranking for the most part. And the sheer amount of times I listen to the songs from each musical episode. This isn’t really from a story standpoint!
The musical numbers themselves are ranked best to worst.
7. American Psycho (Season 6)
Killing Spree
A Girl Before
You Are What You Wear
Not A Common Man
Bread & Roses
6. Next To Normal (Season 5)
Didn’t I See This Movie?
Hey # 3/Perfect For You
I’m Alive
It’s Gonna Be Good
Superboy and the Invisible Girl
I Am The One
A Promise
I’ve Been
Just Another Day
She’s Not Here
Perfect For You
Make Up Your Mind/ Catch Me I’m Falling
Maybe (Next To Normal)
Everything Else
Light
I Miss The Mountains
5. The Return of The Pussycats (Season 5)
It’s All Coming Back To Me
Little Shop of Horrors
Stars
Josie and the Pussycats
Get Up
It’s Gonna Rain
Physical
4. Carrie: The Musical (Season 2)
In
You Shine (Madelaine & Vanessa)
A Night We’ll Never Forget
Do Me A Favor
Unsuspecting Hearts
You Shine
Stay Here Instead
Carrie
The World According to Chris
Evening Prayers
The World According to Chris (Camila only)
3. Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Season 4)
Wicked Little Town
Sugar Daddy
Tear Me Down
Exquisite Corpse (shut up I love it)
Random Number Generation
Midnight Radio
Wicked Little Town (KJ & Lili)
Wig In A Box
The Origin of Love
2. Archie: The Musical (Season 7)
Do You Know What It’s Like?
Archie’s All American
I Got Two
The Universe Inside
Finale (Our Song) (this one makes me fcking cry btw)
Monday, Senior Year
This Is Love
Friday Valentine
I Got Two (reprise)
Prom Night
1. Heathers: The Musical (Season 3)
Seventeen (Choni & Bughead version, duh!)
Beautiful
Candy Store
Dead Girl Walking
Seventeen
Fight For Me
Our Love Is God
Big Fun
Lifeboat
#riverdale#riverdalians#riverdalians unite#follow me riverdalians#archie andrews#jughead jones#cheryl blossom#toni topaz#veronica lodge#betty cooper#josie mccoy#kevin keller#fangs fogarty#riverdale heathers#choni#varchie#bughead#riverdale hedwig#carrie the musical#next to normal#josie and the pussycats#archie: the musical#american psycho#riverdale musicals
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Betty: You’re not upset though, Jug?
Jughead: No, really, I’m not upset.
Betty: Right.
Jughead: But I’m human. You know, what if a future me tries to use your kiss with Archie against some future you? A Vughead kiss? Right now, in the present, might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.
absolutely cannot stand that they all use their shipnames in universe and that they are also the worst shipnames of all time. and by i can’t stand it i mean i find it fucking hilarious mainly because they ARE the worst names and they say them so naturally
veronica suggesting she and jughead kiss to even out the score meanwhile i was gonna suggest a foursome
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WIP GAME
Thank you to @tory-b for tagging me in this even though she KNOWS I have way too many WIPs to count... you’re a nightmare and I adore you.
So since we all know that I’m shit at writing lately, all of these are going to be filed under: I currently have 1 or 2 chapters of these stories written but I don’t know if I’ll ever actually post them so tell me what y’all think and give me encouragement because I’m dying over here:
Blitz: Bughead || A Friday Night Lights AU. Jughead Jones has a game plan. Graduate high school, get a scholarship to Notre Dame, play college ball, go pro, marry Betty Cooper and have five kids. And then he shatters his leg and all of his dreams.
Ghost of You: Bughead || Getting a job at Jones & Blossom Publishing is Betty Cooper’s dream come true. She loves her coworkers, the stories she gets to read, and the fact that she suddenly has inspiration for her novel. Things she doesn’t love? Jughead Jones, the Publisher, who’s rude and standoffish and makes her feel like an incompetent child.
Jughead Jones knows what it’s like to have the world in your hands and six feet underneath you in just a matter of moments. Scarred from a tragedy in his past; he’s forgotten what it’s like to love or to even be happy. Can the girl with sunshine in her heart save a man drowning in the darkness?
How Little You Know: Bughead || Jughead Jones gets adopted by the Lodge family when he’s six years old. Veronica/Jughead adopted sibling AU. When he graduates college, he finds that he’s in love with their childhood friend, Betty Cooper. Only he doesn’t realize it until she’s parading around her new boyfriend that she’s very happy with. Cue Jughead trying to figure out why he’s suddenly hating Betty’s smile, Veronica trying to get her idiot brother to open his eyes, Archie enjoying all the drama, and Betty realizing that you can have all those things you’ve ever wanted.
Untitled PR Stunt AU: Bughead || Jughead Jones is a name that everyone who’s anyone knows. Son of Oscar winning actor FP Jones, he’s made his way to the top of Hollywood and even has the pretty awards to show for it. What else does he have? A terrible attitude and way too many late nights with girls he doesn’t remember. When his management team has finally had enough, they decide to pull off the biggest PR stunt Jughead’s ever had to do.
After Betty Cooper’s journalism piece is rejected for her campus’s prestigious newspaper, she feels a sense of loss and puts all her focus on studying to become an elementary teacher instead. When she runs into Jughead Jones--literally, she’s given the chance of a lifetime. With soft blonde hair and even gentler green eyes, Betty Cooper is just the right girl to turn around Jughead’s deteriorating reputation. He can’t stand her and that’s fine. After all, all Betty needs is one good story.
Untitled High School AU: Jonsa || Sansa Stark doesn’t mean to fall for Jon Targaryen; senior captain of the Winterfell Ravens and her brother’s closest friend. But she does.
Untitled Friends-to-Lovers AU: Jonsa || After Robb makes fun of Jon for not knowing how to flirt with girls, Sansa decides to be the one to show him the ropes. It’s going perfectly; until he actually meets a girl that falls for him. Sansa has to choose between letting Jon be happy with someone else or admitting that she’s been in love with him this whole time.
who we are (who we’ll become): Bughead || Jughead Jones has it all. Rich, entitled, and arrogant; he may be an Academy Award winner, but he’s no one’s favorite. After he’s busted for his third DUI, he’s forced back to his small hometown of Riverdale in hopes of reconnecting with the man he used to be. A change of scenery, he can handle. But seeing his highschool girlfriend that he left behind years ago? That was something he never planned on.
wild horses (couldn’t drag me away): Bughead, Celebrities AU, drug addiction, reconnecting, hurt/comfort. || “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
crazy beautiful: bughead || He’s got everything to lose; she’s got something to prove. Five years after her father killed her sister and then shot himself, Betty Cooper returns to Riverdale High for her senior year. No one wants her around; except for Jughead Jones. Jughead has it all; 4.0 GPA, great friends, a happy family, and a bright future at Stanford. His life is perfect, aside from the fact that his little sister is dying and there’s nothing he can do to save her.
Betty can’t forgive Jughead for turning his back on her all those years ago, but he’s not going to let history repeat itself again.
a little town (called riverdale): CORE FOUR AU. || Football star Jason Blossom is the victim of a hit-and-run right before his senior year of high school. Him not being able to ever play football again alters the lives of the core four in ways they never expected.
Archie Andrews doesn’t know why he can’t stop thinking about Jason Blossom. After all, he never even really knew the guy. But suddenly he finds himself wanting to help the other boy whenever he can; no matter how badly Jason sometimes wishes he would leave him alone.
Veronica Lodge watches her boyfriend become enamored by someone else, but she can’t bring herself to care. All she cares about is Cheryl Blossom, who isn’t the mean girl she wishes everyone thought she was.
Betty Cooper can’t sleep. She can’t eat. She can’t think. All she can think of is the night of Reggie’s party, of Jason’s accident, and about the secret she’s been hoarding that could ruin everything.
Jughead Jones wants to write a groundbreaking story, that’s all he wants to do. He’s never had a conversation with Betty Cooper, but he knows he can’t stand her. She’s the perfect star student who’s always smiling and that everyone loves. When she confides in him after a panic attack, he has to choose between being her friend or using the information she’s just given him to write the story of a lifetime.
the city of (our broken) dreams: ONE-SHOT. varchie & bughead || Betty marries Archie. Jughead marries Veronica. Betty loves Jughead, Jughead loves Betty. Archie loves Veronica, Veronica loves Archie. Each of them have it all; all of their dreams came true. So they smile at each other and act like the best of friends when they all know the truth. The person standing next to them isn’t the person they love.
truth runs wild: Choni || Veronica dares Cheryl to kiss Toni. She doesn’t dare Cheryl to fall in love with her, but she does.
New York, I Love You: Core Four Gossip Girl AU. Betty Cooper tries to figure out how to win the heart of a boy who she isn’t sure even has one while doing her best to keep her family from falling apart after a huge scandal. Veronica Lodge has a huge secret that’s killing her to keep, but telling people would mean she would ruin Archie Andrews’ life. Archie Andrews is coping with the PTSD he has after the events of last year. All he wants is to keep his grades up and get into college on the west coast so he can leave New York behind, once and for all. Jughead Jones just wants to prove to his parents that he isn’t some worthless party animal. He also wants to prove to Betty Cooper that he can be worthy of her love; too bad he isn’t the only one anymore.
Ghost of Girlfriend’s Past AU: Bughead || Jughead Jones has it all. He’s the most sought after photographer in California and he gets to travel to the most exotic places and eat all the best foods. His life couldn’t get any better. Then he goes back to Riverdale for his best friend’s wedding and comes face to face with Betty Cooper, his childhood best friend whose heart he broke years ago. When she makes it apparent that she has no interest in getting to know Jughead now, he realizes that he’s been missing the most important thing this entire time. Of course it takes the help of three ghosts to see that.
Family Man AU: Bughead || Thirteen years ago, Jughead and Betty said goodbye to each other in a crowded airport. Jughead promised he would come back to her after she pleaded for him to turn away his internship and stay with her in Riverdale. That was the last time he ever saw her. Now, he’s thirty-four and has absolutely no regrets. Until a man shows up and tells him that he’s got it all wrong. When Jughead wakes up the next day, he’s suddenly back in Riverdale, and that’s not all. He’s married to Betty Cooper, has two kids and a dog, drives a minivan, and makes less than 100k a year. How the hell is he supposed to get through this?
OKAYYYYYY. This is getting long so I’m just going to end it here. These are all the WIPs that I actively write for so... :)
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2 things -
1. Mood.
2. I feel that 2nd gif isn't even acting. That's just Lili being normal.
#riverdale#bughead#betty cooper#jughead jones#lili reinhart#cole sprouse#mood#cw#tv#tv show#spoiler tv#big mood#good meme#that last gif mainly
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Pre-Marital Sex in 1860s Fantasy Fiction
So this has been an intriguing topic for me, not just because one of my stories is set in this but because the fantasy world runs in parallel to a historical world.
Many fic writers will tell you that they pore over the most trivial thing when doing research for historical fiction, like how much is a pound of flour, or what did dresses look like, or what is the etiquette at dinner table. Some fic writers might ask the question: How promiscuous were Victorians?
In case you haven’t caught on, I love that last question. It’s absolutely intriguing to me, because I just want to do my research while flexing my creative muscles. ;)
Let’s get the main gist of this curiosity out of the way. In Daemon Bound, sexuality is viewed less prudently among the Kin than the Locked, but only by a few degrees.
The British Library gives a pretty good picture of what it was like in the context of Queen Victoria, and while I know that royalty and the privileged can get away with things that commoners and the poor can’t (the inverse is, also, impossibly true), it bears mentioning that it was during this period that sexuality began to gain legitimacy as a scientific matter as opposed to an exclusively moral matter, and therefore could be discussed in an objective fashion. Scientific circles began to recognize homosexuality and went so far as to say that this was a facet of someone’s personality, and not an disorder.
Of course, I wouldn’t classify Victorians as progressive, but the main idea behind all this information is that--well, to put it bluntly--people were just as eager to have sex then as they are now, marriage or not. Victorians were obsessed with sex and they were kinky AF. Like, their porn preferences make me say NOPE is some cases.
That being said, there were still heavily outdated ideas about sex in this era that went around in certain circles, where women of "morals” weren’t supposed to enjoy sex, and that somehow, a wife and mother should still be chaste. This seemed to depend on your cultural background, just like now, where more progressive environments such as cities might be more progressive about sex than their country counterparts, where the more fundamental religious communities might be stricter than the secular ones.
This is where New Kin City comes in.
In Kin society, both men and women are allowed to feel desire, and while it is still more widely acceptable to reserve sex for after marital vows have been taken, the "young" know it happens before that. This is basically what is happening now in semi-conservative Catholic countries, where the grandparents still think sex is "dirty", where the parents wink and laugh about it but still wouldn't talk about it out loud, and the younger people would talk about it among partners, and might speak more openly about it with their peers of the same gender.
Given that generational divergence, it means that pre-marital sex is still something partners don't necessarily take for granted. Young people (up until the age of 30) will still have their reservations about it. They won't assume that their partners would approve of such a thing. They might still opt to wait until after marriage. But those who do take the pre-marital plunge won't suffer a scandal if they're low-key about it. Friends will let friends be horny, but only when the elders aren't looking.
Desires will rage, but do so in private.
So, after all that, will Bughead take the plunge?
Only one thing I can say about that: You should know me by now.
#ok if you don't know me that's understandable#mainly because i'm not famous#and i assume way too much#just indulge that perfect last sentence#like if i end it any other way it just doesn't sound as nice#bughead fanfiction#writing about sex in historical settings
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.
#does anyone else want to completely cut themselves off from an aspect of their life like every few days#thats relevant to me in a lot of ways#but. Riverdale#and im not just talking about sh/bh/the mess it is/the writers#bc while all that is true. Its just all of it#idk i know i havent had this blog long but ive been a part of this fandom is other & less obvious ways for some time#i made this account on a whim mainly bc of my writing#and as much as i love it here and i love interacting with ppl who like the same things as me and read my work and all that#fandoms stress me out#ive been in other fandoms before this one#ive been in fandoms of real ppl before and ive been in fictional things fandoms#never one thats lowkey combined#i know a lot of you here *prefer* bughead#but a lot of us liked bh AND sh#and i think when its combined like that it can be difficult to untangle them from one another#so its confusing#but even without that there is so much that goes on with this show and this fandom (riverdale & bughead) that i just. Stressful#so often i find myself wanted to completely cut myself off#that includes all social media and fics#i love writing though and i love writing bughead#theyre what got me into writing in the first place#idk i feel weird about everything and life in general#idk what id do without riverdale (as shit as it is) and bughead#ive had a loss in my life recently and its so easy just to focus on something else#i think im struggling with life yknow#and im rambling so ill stop now#big talking in tags#feels more anonymous this way#~the end
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Thanks @mycrazyfangirl21 for the tag! Nothing better than spreading the a03 love :) @nightglider124 and @ohheyalex let’s see whatchu got
ao3 name: spaceprincessem
fandoms: Mainly Titans and Game of Thrones
no. of fics: 27
fic you spent the most time on: Oh gosh probably Never Shall We Die which is my dickkory pirates au or maybe Wolf At Your Door which was a jonsa endgame s8 fix it fic
fic you spent the least time on: Flying This was just a fun little dickkory piece I threw together based off a the roller coaster ride prompt
longest fic: The Finale Rose this was a monster 12 chapter nearly 50,000 word bughead bachelor au fic hahahhah
shortest fic: Amongst the Chaos There Was You at 790 words. Cute jonsa oneshot based off of the season 8 trailer
most kudos: The Finale Rose with 562 kudos
most comment threads: The Finale Rose (113)
fave fic you wrote: Probably a tie between Never Shall We Die and You Run In My Veins the latter was one of the first fics I wrote that had a really steamy/smutty scene. So much fun to write and with post s8 jonsa there’s so much opportunity for angst and getting the happy ending we deserved
fave fic you want to rewrite/expand upon: I’m really more of a oneshot type of gal, unless i have a really good idea for a multichapter fic. So I’m pretty happy with all of them
share a bit of your wip, or share a story idea: So I have like 3ish multi wips (after I just said I prefer oneshots...) one is a classic robstar Teen Titan fic that I’ve had the idea for, for years and finally wrote it down. Good ol’ Robin and Terra are working as Slade’s apprentices type deal with lots of robstar angst.
I just started working on my Titans DickKory Fast and Furious au, which may take a while. Finally, just for fun I have a Anaconda Hunt for the Blood Orchid fic I’m working on cause it’s one of my favorite trash movies and i’m just having a good time
#dickkory#jonsa#bughead#titans#got#riverdale#really can you tell I mainly write dickkory and jonsa fics#ao3
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Cole is blessing us with his beautiful queen.
#lili and cole#cole and lili#cole sprouse#lili reinhart#mainly bughead#bughead#can they stop killing me#please#sprousehart
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NEW URL
Formerly "southsideserpentroyalty"
Now "artisticsarcasm"
#new url#still mainly bughead and other stuff#just gonna post my art on here now#sorry if that upsets anyone
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i'd just like to say that, more than anything, i would LOVE to see archie not be someone's lapdog and have an actually interesting arc in s3
also loads of bughead in gorgeous lighting ok tnx
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I know I never post anything remotely straight...
But could someone please write a Sweet Pea x Reader or OC entitled ‘The Princess and the Pea’ that’s something like them being on two sides of Riverdale but the reader can still feel him with her. i.e the pea under all the mattresses (which represent how far apart they are)
#oh and can the reader be all cute and naive#like a true hufflepuff?#please#idk why i have a need for such straightness#i mean im mainly gay#but theres a part of me that still likes some boys#riverdale#sweet pea#sweat pea x reader#bughead#betty cooper#jughead jones#serpents#southside#cole sprouse#cheryl blossom
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Happy New Year from my side of the world! Dressed as a unicorn and covered in glitter cause how else would I welcome in the new year!
#thanks for those who still follow me#cause I practically stopped using tumblr#now I'm mainly here for bughead & sprousehart#but here is a selfie anyway#cause I'm definitely slightly quite a bit tipsy
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I hate when people excuse their horrible shipping with something like “just because you ship x with y and we prefer them in this ship blah blah” cause do you actually think i give a shit about some childish shipping war or whatever? no. What i do give a shit about is you erasing a character’s sexuality and/or condoning insest, pedophilia and extremely abusive relationships.
#i don't like to get involved with nasty shippers but#i'm just so incredibly pissed rn#about this and other things#anti clalec#anti bughead#shadowhunters#riverdale#anti jordan kyle#anti jordan x maia#okay i'm tired of tagging anti#there are so many other ships too but these are mainly bothering me at the moment#anti jalec#text#anti reylo
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S6b spoilers so far
In response to @crazymisscarly‘s post
1. We are going to be “totally unprepared for the rest of s6”. Thus spake Evan!
2. The old new couples (Barchie, Veggie, Jabitha, Tangs) are still on. Which is no surprise, as we pick up from 5x19.
3. There is a post of Jughead -in his Pop’s uniform- Tabitha and Pop at the Diner. Has Jughead resumed his old job to help out his girlfriend?
4. Jabitha are “still very much together”. They move in together “as a consequence from the PTSD from the explosion”. Don’t come at me: these are direct quotes from Cole (circa 6x9).
5. Bughead don’t have many interactions, at least not until 6x9 (see another of Cole’s interviews).
6. A time-loop plot is implied by Evan. Will there actually be one? Will it last more than 1 episode? Who knows?
7. Jughead, Betty and Archie suffer from “mysterious” / “arcane” sensory side-effects from the Dale/Vale explosions.
8. Jughead’s arcane side-effect seems to be hearing problems. Which seems quite natural after an explosion and not at all arcane but who am I to judge? Photos and dialogues seem to indicate that it comes and goes? Who knows? This plot will be explored in 6x6 and mainly in 6x7.
9. At one point, an ASL teacher appears.
10. At one point, something will happen with Jughead’s bike that will make Tabitha anxious.
11. Betty seems to be developing pyrokinesis?
12. Cheryl believes she’s responsible for said arcane effects (by unleashing Abigail’s curse). 10 bucks says she’s not.
13. The Ultimate Fight between Good and Evil teased in the Vale, will happen after all. This seems to be s6b’s immediate plot, as it’s what the writers are currently promoting. When this was supposed to be part of the Vale, they had teased couples choosing different sides. Current couples? Old couples? Who knows? Does it matter in the end? The fight will take place at the Diner. If they’d shot it during the Vale (as originally planned), it wouldn’t have lasted more than one episode (6x5). Will it last longer in the Dale? Who knows?
14. An audition tape has been posted by b*rchiedaily where there is mention of a Ghost Train. I don’t remember much. In any case, it’s supernatural and it has to do with taking souls. Maybe it’s connected to the Ultimate Fight. Maybe not.
15. Cheryl mentions the need for an exorcism. Is it:
a. typical Cheryl
b. related to Abigail’s curse
c. related to the Ghost Train
d. Bret coming back from beyond the veil
e. Jason trying to have some peace and quiet at last
You decide!
16. There have been mentions of the Vale coming back in some way. Is it the arcane side-effects? Is it the fight between Good and Evil? Is it something else altogether? Is it another plot being dropped? Who knows? Who cares?
17. Percival Pickens, a descendant of General Pickers is Riverdale’s new resident. He’s Hiram 2.0 charming and manipulative and Archie’s new nemesis, as he wants to turn Riverdale into a utopia while pursuing a dark agenda. This must be one of those “fresh” storylines that the writers most certainly did not recycle from previous seasons, no, sir, not at all.
18. There will be a boxing scene. I bet there’ll be singing too.
19. Penelope’s back! FINALLY! something interesting!
20. Hermione’s back. Probably for Hiram’s funeral, which takes place in 6x7.
21. Far less excitingly, TBL is also back. Will he wait for Archie&Co to finish their ultimate Good vs Evil battle or not? (He did wait for Betty to round up her Lonely Highway case after all ...) Who knows?
22. Betty cuts her hair. Or maybe it was just Lili.
23. Kevin grows a moustache. This will probably be Kevin’s whole plot line. I have no complaints.
24. Monica Posh might make an appearance or maybe it was just bts shenanigans.
25. I almost forgot: Archie and Glenn face off.
There’s a strong possibility all of the above happen within the first two episodes.
Some of the sources:
6x6 synopsis, Jabitha & Pop at the Diner: ultimate battle, Veggie: ultimate battle, time-loop, Percival Pickens, Hiram’s funeral, Monica Posh?, effing boxing, TV Insider Sprouse interview, Decider Sprouse interview, CBR Sprouse interview, Decider’s Battle of Betty’s Beaus & Trailer
There are also: a photo with info for scenes (ASL teacher, Jabitha and the bike) and 2 audition tapes (Betty’s pyrokinesis, Ghost Train) but I have no links.
Feel free to add (and tag your spoilers)!
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A Little Ficlet
I have this head canon that Bughead's first child is born at Christmas. No idea where it comes from but I wrote it that way here and the thought has stayed with me. So under the cut is a Bughead baby ficlet as you begin to get in the festive spirit.
Jug had been thinking about St Joseph a lot. Which— weird but, okay. He wasn’t religious, not really. He liked the stories, the imagery, a dove with an olive branch, a baby rescued from bullrushes, three travellers following a star. He enjoyed some of the Psalms, The Song of Songs too. Mainly though it seemed to him that religion was just a way for old white guys to control people, mostly women. He supposed that Marx was right, religion kept the poor docile, holding out for heaven instead of taking what properly should be theirs right now.
But it was getting toward Christmas and the tree lights and the saccharine muzak in stores and the ads everywhere had turned his thoughts to the story of the first Christmas. He’d been thinking about how it must have been for that guy, loving his woman, knowing she was special in ways he would never really grasp, feeling responsible for protecting her and the child she carried. He understood how that felt.
He was so terrified every day. He thought it must have been like that for St Joe. When she struggled to stand from the couch, he jumped to his feet to help her, an arm at her back to protect her poor spine. When she reached up to get a book from a high shelf he was beside her instantly, a sixth sense alerting him no matter where he had been in the house, forbidding her from even considering stepping onto a chair to reach higher. When she pushed away her breakfast bowl with a wrinkle of her nose he ran to open the refrigerator, offering pancakes, bacon, pickles, anything. “Shall I run to the store real quick?” he’d ask. “What about lemon? Do you want me to slice a lemon for you?” She’d laugh and shake her head and try to take another spoonful of cereal just to placate him.
Her back hurt all the time. She didn’t complain but he could see her wince and rub the sore place above her hip. The baby was getting heavy, a burden. He felt the weight too but he carried his burden in his heart not his belly. He felt weighed down by it in a way he hadn’t ever felt before. The strangest thing was that it wasn’t a bad feeling. It was as if he had always been floating, untethered, too light to settle. The weight of this baby was holding him in one place, giving him time to focus, he could build here, he could settle peacefully at last. It was a good burden, worth carrying. He tried to explain to her how he felt and she laughed because she felt just the same. “I have something precious and precious things are heavy,” she said, “heavy like gold.”
“I want to keep you safe,” he murmured against her neck, “I don’t want you to be in pain. I don’t know how I can stand that.”
“Too late now, stud,” she laughed. “This genie is coming out of the bottle, and soon too. You’re just going to have to suck it up and feed me ice chips and let me scream at you for knocking me up. That’s what it means to be someone’s daddy.”
In the delivery room on Christmas Eve, when Betts began to pant and yell, her eyes rolling with the waves of pain, he prayed to St Joseph, one father to another, memorising the words from a card he had picked up in the hospital chapel, “O most watchful guardian of the Holy Family, defend the chosen children of Jesus Christ.” He said it over and over again like a mantra, under his breath while her fingernails dug into his hand, while he held the cup of ice chips to her lips and then, at last, while he cradled his newborn son in his arms. That was when he really knew the wonder and awe that St Joseph must have felt.
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