#but this is also why beat being a switch is so important to me

[halfmoonshines]

marc spector/steven grant/jake lockley x reader

summary: you loved all of your boys equally. most days.

or; they're all amazing in their own ways, but definitely have their strong suits.

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

You were going to strangle Marc Spector, you were sure of it. You were also sure that Steven would forgive you, and Jake probably wouldn't bat an eye.

How many times had you told this man that you had a laundry basket for a reason? Fist of Vengeance or not, his socks still stunk and you were getting tired of padding around the apartment twice a week collecting them all.

You slammed the washer door shut a little too hard just as you heard the front door open and click shut.

"I'm home, love! They had a great deal on your favorite cream cheese at the shops." Steven's honey accent pierces the quiet of your anger and you immediately simmer; his sunny disposition a cold water on your raging fire. You had nearly forgotten that he was the one who went to the store.

"That's great." You said as you rounded the corner, a smile on your face.

Steven paused in his unloading the groceries, a furrow creasing his brow. "Are you alright, sweets? You look tense." He crossed the small kitchen over to you, hands settling lightly on your shoulders. Leave it to Steven to see the slightest bit of tension in you.

You have a loving eye roll, moving closer to wrap your own arms around him. "I'm okay, Steven. Just slightly peeved at Marc for being so messy."

His hold dropped to your waist and he rested his chin on top of your head, a mirthful chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "That he is, love. Right disgusting bugger. Shall we do something about him?"

"I thought you wouldn't take kindly to me choking him with the next dirty sock I find."

"I'm sure I can look the other way."

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

"You're being ungrateful, you need to actually listen to me-"

Conversations with your mother never went over well, but this time you were well tired of listening to it.

"I am not being ungrateful, Sharon. I'm being realistic. Don't call me again." You slammed the phone down with a force, shaking the glass of water you had perched on the dining table. You winced, knowing that smart phones weren't made to take that kind of beating but you were far past the point of caring.

She always knew how to rile you up; to upset you and make you feel guilty. You didn't even know why you bothered to pick up her calls anymore. Some sick sense of ownership.

The hands that turned you were warm and familiar, the chest that greeted you smelling of musk and pine.

"You want to talk about it?" Marc's voice made you wince. Steven was the one that left the house this morning, you hadn't been aware that they planned to switch. You hated talking about this stuff with Marc, knowing full well it never compared to the relationship he suffered with his own mother.

You gave a shake of your head and met his dark brown gaze. "It's fine, babe. Same old attitude."

Marc's smirk lacked the usual humor. He raised one of his hands to twirl a loose piece of your hair, tracing the movement with his eyes. "You know you don't have to bottle it up, right? How you feel is important. Don't ignore that just because I have my own issues."

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. "That's quite the self aware statement, Mr. Spector. I'm impressed."

Marc's smile morphed into that familiar one and he returned your earlier eye roll. "Don't deflect. I'm here if you want to talk."

You dropped your hand to his and started to pull him towards the kitchen. "We can talk while we cook. I'm starving."

"I can agree with that."

..••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••..

You were being followed, you were sure of it. You tried not to hasten your steps too much, knowing full well that the person who had been following you for the last six blocks would give chase.

You wouldn't escape them.

You and the boys had obviously gone through this kind of situation before. Being the fist of Khonshu didn't come with a fan club, but it certainly did build a repertoire of enemies. If they lived, that is.

Your breath was puffing out of you in clouds as you power walked down a road parallel to your own, debating the merits on showing this man where you lived on the off chance that Marc was home.

You could hear the footsteps behind you speed up and you returned it in kind, kicking into a slow jog - all pretense of being unaware going out the window.

You glanced over your shoulder to see the man approaching quickly, and that was the first mistake you made.

The second one was hesitating when another men stepped out of the shadows of a store front. You knocked into him firmly, breath escaping out of your chest while his harsh grip dug into your shoulders.

Oh, you were fucked.

The man who had been following you caught up to you then, hand clasping over your mouth to muffle the strangled scream you had attempted.

Those training sessions in the living room with Jake felt like a distant memory with the blood pumping through your veins. You kicked wildly at the man in front of you, managing to graze that sensitive bit between his legs.

"I'm going to enjoy this so much more now." The accent was Irish, but you were quickly distracted by the large knife he brought up to your throat.

You stopped thrashing, all too aware of the sharp tip of steel biting into the sensitive skin on your neck. A stray tear rolled out of your eye, fate becoming more concrete.

"Hurry it up, Joey. We don't have time to dally."

"Shut yer pipe-" The man holding the knives voice gurgled briefly before he collapsed on the ground in front of you, the tips of crescent moon shaped knives poking out of the front of his chest.

You found him instantly, half masked by the shadows on the street.

"Bloody fuck." The man holding you simply tightened his hold, one hand fisting in your hair and yanking your head back. The squeal you gave wasn't by choice but you could see the start that the suited man watching you gave. "Stay over there, white devil, or she will die with me. Do you hear-"

You almost didn't see it, the knife being thrown but it was embedded in the goon's throat before your next breath. He released you all at once and you fell forward from the force, gloved hands catching you before you could hit the pavement.

You were heaving breaths, vaguely aware that you were going into something akin to shock but unable to pull yourself out.

"Breathe, mi corazon. You need to take slow breaths." Jake's own hands were shaking almost imperceptibly, you could tell that he was struggling to keep a lid on his fury.

You dragged in a deep breath through your nose, forcing yourself to sit on it before exhaling. You folded into his embrace, fresh tears springing into your eyes. "I'm sorry."

Jake's scoff was almost offensive. "What the fuck are you sorry about?"

You gestured to yourself haphazardly. "Completely losing my shit the first time that something happens to me."

The suit disappeared then, his bare hand gripping your chin lightly, bringing your gaze to his. There was fire churning there, and you realized you mistook some of his anger. There was fear there too. For you, though. Never himself.

"Don't you ever apologize to me when there's," His hand lowered a bit, ghosting over the line of red that the knife had left on your throat. "Blood dripping down you. Blood that's my fault." You understood then, the hard clench of his jaw. "Mierda, babe. This could've ended so differently."

Your hand wraps around the his wrist, bringing it into your lap, willing him to look at you instead of the wound he was fixated on. "But it wasn't. Because you were here. I'm okay, Jake."

Something flashed in his eyes, and a cloud passed over his face. He was bottling it up, you could tell, but there wasn't much you could do about that right now. "Let's get you home."

You let him help you off the pavement, keeping a grounding hand on his arm. Jake hesitated a moment, question poised on his tongue.

"What is it?"

"Are you sure you're okay? If you want to talk it out, I can step back. It would probably be good to have someone to talk to-"

Your kiss was chaste, but served its purpose of shutting him up. "If I wanted to talk about it, I could do that with you, Jake. You don't need to go anywhere."

"You know I'm not very good at that-"

"You're perfect." You insisted. No room for arguments.

He smiled wryly, arm wrapping around your waist. "How about I run you a bath when we get home and we order some takeout. What are you hungry for?"

"Surprise me."

[skullreaped]

one day i'm going to actually put pen to paper about my thoughts on beat and his relationship with his bisexuality (and preference for men) and his masculinity and the relationship between the two then it'll be all over for you

i have so many thoughts about it but it's. Complicated. and i've never been able to word it in a way that i like. there's definitely a lot of internalized homophobia and internalized toxic masculinity, but it really is only internalized. other people can be gay and feminine!! that's fine that's cool!!! but Not Him. does that make sense?

he's a guy who (in most scenarios) wouldn't be the first to confess to another boy/ask another boy out first, but would absolutely be the first one to say the L word

though i think him being the first to say he loves his partner is consistent regardless of gender. he's the kind of person who you always know where you stand with because he wears his heart on his sleeve and feels Everything at Full Force. if he doesn't like you, you will know it. if he loves you, you will know it (probably before he does)

[kathrynmjaneway]

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[rafesproperty]

Im BEGGING so hard they make Rarry happend (rafe and Barry) BECAUSE LIKE EVEN THE CAST SHIPS ITTTT

IM THE BIGGEST RARRY SOLDIER ON EARTHHHHH I LOVE THEM SM LETS DISCUSS THEM.

The thing is that if one of them was a girl everyone in the fandom would go insane over them, but since they are boys it probably won’t even happen.

THESE ARE NOT‼️ PLATONIC LOOKS. The eyes, chico, they never lie

Topper is me asf

They would literally make so much sense. The thing is Barry is so special to Rafe in so many ways. Notice the way Rafe lets Barry talk to him (sassy, making fun of him, Barry literally going “let me lead and SHUT UP” and Rafe just going “ok🥰”, Barry going “I’ll knock that J-Crew lookin ass out” and Rafe just smirking and blushing). Rafe would NOT let people speak to him the way he lets Barry speak to him… like ever 😭 Also when Barry told him he’ll lead it was when they went after the Pogues and it’s something Rafe very much cared about. HE’S A PROACTIVE TYPE OF PERSON, he would not let someone he doesn’t 100% trust “lead,” he’s a control freak. Yet here he was, just going “okay,” trusting Barry with something so important to him.

Barrys presence is so important in Rafes life and I feel like neither of them really realises but it genuinely is. RAFE ALWAYS RUNS TO BARRY FIRST. He would NOT let anyone know he killed Peterkin (Topper and Kelce are his closest friends and he’d never tell them), yet here he was on Barrys floor, confessing to him, allowing him to see his breakdown AND —

BRO DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS SCENE OMFG —

He slept AT BARRYS when he had probably the worst day ever (Ward screaming “Rafe you fucked us!” at him, him drowning Sarah and Topper beating him up happened in the same day) and the next scene we get is Rafe waking up on Barrys couch. I imagine him going into absolute panic in the middle of the night and not wanting to go home to his dad, the only place he can think of being Barrys… so he goes to Barry. We were so, so robbed of a scene where Rafe shows up in the middle of the night saying “I didn’t know where else to go” with a beat up face and Barry going “Shit, country club.”

I’m just convinced Rafe felt safe enough with Barry so he always ran to him.

Their first meeting in S3 as well. I’m pretty sure that was the first time they saw each other since Barry betrayed him in S2 and Rafe was just okay and calm and ASKED BARRY FOR HELP AGAIN. Rafe holds grudges like crazy, yet he trusted him enough after his betrayal to seek him out again. Like nothing ever happened. And Barry helped him again. Because Barry always helps him (he claims it’s just for the money but the thing is he was willing to murder for Rafe and that is not something he was comfortable with the entire show, I’m genuinely convinced he would not accept that offer from anyone, murder being over the line for him… yet for Rafe? Yeah).

We could see Barry being uncomfortable by Rafes murderous temptations in a few scenes (especially the one where he tried to drown Kie), but the second Rafe asked him to kill Ward he was like ALRIGHT I’LL DO IT FOR YOU. Also Rafe was so hyperfixated on his dad, it was the most important person in the world to him, so him asking Barry to do it just shows the level of trust. He asked Barry to free him of this burden.

Also Barry DOES NOT do it only for the money. In Season 2 when Rafe comes over to pick up his drugs and asks Barry for “a piece” (a gun), Barry giggles and makes jokes UNTIL Rafe says “Do you realise it’s either me or him (John B) in this situation, right?” and in that very moment Barry switches and goes full angry protective mode and pulls out an entire bag full of guns 😭 And is fully ready to go with Rafe and to protect him and shoot a Pogue for him. But Rafe did not ask for help. He didn’t offer him money. He just asked for a gun. Barry did all of that on his own and he went with him on his own. I think that’s also why Rafe told him “You know I’ll take care of you,” he himself was surprised someone was willing to protect him and go with him out of their own free will.

At the end of S1 Barry went with Rafe after the Pogues because they owed him money, but he still handled Rafes mental breakdown pretty well (NO other character ever managed that, not even his family), he cracked some jokes and got Rafe out of the panic state by motivating him to go do something about it, and joining him.

Also the shit they say to each other…

“You know I’ll take care of you.”

“I own you now.”

“Tranquilo?”

“Tranquilo, baby.”

Barry casually saying “How does that feel, babyboy?” in S1

THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER?!

Nice try mf I know love eyes when I see them

Another thing is their dynamic is absolutely perfect. Rafe, a bit psychotic, always taking everything seriously, grumpy asf and Barry, sassy mf that takes nothing seriously and is quite literally the only person that knows how to handle Rafe and how to talk back to him.

PLUS the actors shipping them is so wholesome and funny tbh (at least we won’t have another Jiara accident uhm…)

They also ADMITTED VERY PROUDLY that they send Rarry edits to each other 😭 “You know, whenever I miss Drew we’ll run back the tiktoks” dnsjskks

Drew literally going “Nick Cirillo who plays Barry in the show, my right hand… also my lover”

That’s boyfriends right there

One more thing I’d like to add is Barry was so judgy of Ward when he came to see Rafe (in S2 right before Rafe tried to run away and Ward came to warn him from the police), now it might be because Ward beat him up in S1 orrrrrr because he simply saw Rafes state (Rafe probably told him that his dad yelled at him that day when he slept over) and didn’t like his dad a single bit. I choose to go with the protective bf option.

Again, if one of them was a girl it would be one of the most popular ships just bc of their dynamic and banter and chemistry (JJPope situation all over again).

I hope Drew and Nick manage to sneak in a little bro kiss in some of the upcoming seasons (like that scene from Deadly Class when Marcus is randomly bro kissed), feel like it’s something they would 100% do 😭… Imagine drunk Barry going “Country cluuubbb, mwah” and Rafe just 🧍🏻

And I’d love to continue with more pics and edits but Tumblr won’t let me add more so we’ll end it here.

But they genuinely mean the world to me. I think a lot of people are shipping them as a joke but I’m IN LOVE with their ship and dynamic and the bond between them.

That’s all ty for reading 💕

[heartofbusan]

A Tale of Two Earpods

Have you ever sat on a train while listening to music, and while you're watching the landscape, you feel heightened emotions? There's probably a name for this occurrence. It's almost cinematic even. When you're listening to music, it enhances this wonderful sense of detachment as the world passes you by at high speed.

That's probably what jikook were feeling, too, traveling past the pretty and snowy coastline. A little detached from the world inside the train, yet grounded in the music they're listening to together. We are invited into that bubble through the sounddesign as it gently invites us to come into their mindset.

There's a reason why this scene stands out. Something beyond the fact that when Jungkook gently laid his head on Jimin’s shoulder, he crushed the last dregs of sanity I had left, I mean.

----

The actual music we hear is considered a 'non-diegetic' layer. It's not something Jikook can hear, but it's added in later in post-production. This way, it functions as a guide for the audience to feel something. BUT, there is a very important physical element at play in this scene that gives an extra emotional entry into the minds of our main characters. The earpods.

Jikook are cutely sharing a pair of earpods 🥺 This places them inside a little auditory bubble separate from the audience: we can't hear what they're listening to. Luckily, Jungkook provides us with a genre: anime music.

So when Jimin remarks that it feels like they're in an animation (little did they know the scene would include actual illustrations), it was all those elements at play for him as well. The music is giving him the feels.

The soundtrack tries to let us in on their earpods by overlaying this moment with violin music, but it doesn't quite cut it tbh. I'm sure copyrights prevented them from sharing the actual music they're listening to. When Jimin starts to get playful and pretends to be a crying dog!?!?!? the cutest little flute/accordion piece starts playing. It's adorable and kind of folksy.

Then suddenly, the music switches to this soft electric guitar piece we've heard before in AYS, often at the end of sentimental scenes, like at the end of episode 4 when they're on the catamaran. It's a very melancholy yet hopeful piece, promising that this is not the end but a new beginning. At least, that's what it makes me feel.

In the train scene, this piece isn't used to end the scene, but it surprisingly builds towards something, a high point.

Here the music is reflecting not only their emotions: the train ride is amazing, they're really enjoying themselves, and it feels like another core memory being made, but it's also a guide for US watching THEM in THEIR moment. Like a little snapshot made for the audience. This is also OUR core memory now. Again, linking us directly to jikook, but also keeping us at a safe distance.

This concept feels foundational for AYS. Truly a show for them AND for us.

The actual highpoint of the scene ends with a beat of silence as JK puts his head on Jimin’s shoulder. After all the music, the silence at this exact moment is VERY LOUD in order to emphasize this gesture. A WORLD STOP.

And that's what I felt when I first saw it. That little beat of silence was an exclamation point, a silent scream. Your heart stopped beating for a second there, right? The sound design danced us right up until that point, swaying us gently from side to side and then suddenly it dipped us and made everyone take note. The shot fades out, the diegetic noise of the train can still be heard, and almost like we had to take a breath to clear our head, ... we're back to reality with JK's voice. Sigh.

If you're still reading this, I don't know what to tell you,...you too are obsessed with jikook 😮‍💨 send help.

----

I rarely travel on trains anymore, but next time I do , I look forward to emptying my mind of real-world problems, and I'll think of this little Jikook snapshot instead.

[littlekiara96]

Hey, Penacony spoilers ahead for up to the end of 2.3. THEORY AHEAD. (kinda crack, kinda not, I'm talking about Gallagher)

Y'know, it's funny how Gallagher, a History Fictionologist, told like 1 lie.

And then, Mr. Reca, a Memokeeper, told some guy "Love the unknown" once.

Like, guys, switch places, please. That would make more sense.

I remember when I found inconsistencies with how people treated Gallagher; one of two Bloodhounds "recognising" him, another Bloodhound going "Who?" and then the receptionist at the Family's mansion acting as if he's some important person who's rarely sought out by people?

I swear, this still makes no sense... unless......

And Reca is sometimes a well-known director. Sometimes a self-proclaimed one.

Chabro and Aideen? Love the guy. Nobodies? Who does this dude think he is.

But hey. You know what makes me go "What the HELL is going on here"?

I have two questions.

Why "Mr. Reca"? And not Mr. Reca?

How the hell does this guy know about Gallagher AND HIS DEATH.

Okay, so I guess this Reca is indeed a Memokeeper who uses camera and film to record (rec - Reca) stuff and retell stories. He should be the same Memokeeper Black Swan mentions at the Studios.

And I suspect this censored movie to be his work.

Hey, remember who did so much to make sure that some people's names and true stories would be restored?

Yeah, funny coincidences.

And then, nobody remembers Gallagher, ironically. Except us, Nameless.

And except Reca, SOMEHOW. (Aideen. Gallagher is the guy thanked BEFORE YOUR OWN BRAND, DID YOU EVEN WATCH THE MOVIE.)

But ultimately, Aideen is right. Gallagher wasn't made to be remembered.

Sorry, I mean, "Gallagher the History Fictionologist" isn't meant to be remembered.

We know "Gallagher" is fake. And I'm not just talking about his appearance; ALL OF HIM is fictional. He is a character, a role. And like any role... there has to be an actor playing the part. The person who came up with "Gallagher". The person who is still there once the character isn't needed anymore.

The person we didn't see when "Gallagher" disappeared off-screen.

And I guess that person would also be the real Gallagher... The one who was so loyal to Mikhail.

Or... was he all that loyal to Mikhail?

There's something so fickle about calling an unshakable loyalty "imaginary". I know it's meant positively here, but it's so easy to turn this upside-down...

I mean, the purpose of "Gallagher" was to fulfill one promise to Mikhail. And once that has been done... the real Gallagher could do whatever, afterwards. He's free of his role as "Gallagher" the History Fictionologist... who did the exact opposite of what a Fictionologist would do...... by restoring the truth of the past.........

Gallagher is the worst at his job, isn't he. Almost like he should be a Memokeeper, instead.

Anyway. I have a technical question.

Where did Reca get the memory segments to recreate Firefly for the Scorchsand Venue movie?

I see two possibilities:

Got them from someone else (Aideen, other witnesses, maybe from the surroundings themselves?)

Himself

In the first case, it makes sense, I have no further question.

In the second case, though... When did Reca meet Firefly? Did he need to actually meet her or would just seeing her from afar suffice? Depending on the answers to those questions, things might get complicated.

Okay, it's time I stopped beating around the bush. I've been drawing mirrored parallels between "Gallagher" and "Mr. Reca" from the very start of this post. You're probably guessing what my point is by now.

But first... Remember Sleepie? a.k.a. Dormancy?

Poor thing came to Scorchsand searching for Gallagher...

But there was no trace of him there anymore since... before Sleepie arrived... Right?

And there's no way Gallagher would still be around... Right?

... why would you say that if you know your whole being will disappear once you're done with your final task...

i mean, it's not like there was yet another Hound statue in Dreamflux Reef, next to the three epitaphs of the Nameless, right?! Grmbl...

Remember when Himeko said "In the end, we still failed to figure out his true identity, or if he was even a "living person"? Because I SURE REMEMBER.

Anyway, we don't know where Reca was when Sleepie arrived at Scorchsand, but-

I think it's safe to say that they interracted to some extent.

BUT that's in fact still not what made me go "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS GOING ON HERE???!!"

Remember how the movie started?

With the phrase: "Even now, the world is still filled with characters that we've played."

The hell do you mean by that, Reca.

And it ended with the phrase: "We will keep playing our roles, drunken and foolish in the moment, playing at life but never thinking to celebrate it." Then the credits roll.

Heyyyy, I know someone else who talks about celebrating life. And used bits of other people's lives to create a whole new "character". Kinda like how you can pick pieces of different stories to make a whole new story. Or movie, for that matter.

And hey... Reca told us "My lens is upon you��� Don't let me down. And more importantly, don't let the audience down."

You know who told us we had interesting life stories? YEAH.

Hey. Let's go back to Brina. The receptionist.

You know how we could easily explain this?

If the real Gallagher's full name was Gallagher Reca.

Or maybe "Mr. Reca" is just yet another pseudonym. I mean, why would he credit himself as "Mr. Reca" and not Reca. That's fishy.

ANYWAY, this theory has been on my mind for maybe 4 months now, so I'm glad I've finally manage to write all of my thoughts down.

[mari-lair]

Let's talk about Akane's overprotection of Aoi and the dangers of not properly setting up a narrative tone.

We are told that Akane stalks Aoi because guys have been trying to force her into a relationship for years, so he protects her by beating up anyone who approaches. Nene and Kou are understandably horrified by this.

But in the very next page, Aidairo hit us with this tone switch:

What Akane is saying is contradictory to the violent and possessive narrative that was shown during his introduction, to this yandere role he played the entire chapter, but the manga is trying to convey that we should take him seriously here. Even the lighting and composition are the ones used when characters are vulnerable and Aidairo wants to show that what they feel is real.

It's strange...

Being possessive is never framed as something that leaves other characters in awe, just compare Akane's melancholic and peaceful gaze to the creepy tone used when Kou and Hanako have their "you are possessive" moment.

Both Kou and Hanako hate that part of themselves, Kou even rejects it, but it's still clear the rejection doesn't make him any less possessive. Both want to be dependable, they want to be the only choice, no one else is acceptable. It's a selfish feeling. Being 'the most important person' is more important than the joy of the person they want to help (Kou's wish is Mitsuba needing him, instead of Mitsuba happy as a human. Hanako wants to be the one to save Nene, the idea of Nene being saved by someone else does not satisfy him even if it would make her happy and safe)

So this isn't a "Akane is lying to himself" or a "he is delusional" case.

The narrative, which had presented Akane as a yandere, wants us to believe that "I will protect Ao-chan... Even if she never looks my way" is not only what Akane believes to be true, but also something admirable. A sentiment Nene craves directed her way, claiming to be 'a little jealous' of Aoi, despite calling Akane scary a single page ago.

Let's rewind to see how we got here.

Akane and Aoi's stories suffer from being mostly given to us in gags for a good chunk of the manga, as they are not very relevant in the early arcs, but the crumbs come together after their confrontation in chapter 69.

Why is Akane stalking Aoi? Because he worries about her. Not about someone stealing her necessarily, but about her being hurt or forced into situations she is uncomfortable with.

They are very codependent. They have been for years.

We can see Akane being shocked at the sight of people bullying Aoi since they were kids, it isn't just 'boys who want to date her' that makes her uncomfortable. Jealous girls do too.

Even when Aoi is left alone, using clothes completely out of her cutesy style to attract less attention, and just living her life, she is still harassed.

Aoi's life is a nightmare, it straight up sucks. She hates that, and when Akane notices this discomfort, he hates that too.

He is far more protective than possessive, he doesn't care when people are touchy with Aoi as long as she welcomes the touch: Take Nene as an example.

Akane never touches Aoi at the start of the manga but Nene does, a lot. He never think "Nene is touching my Ao-chan! Unforguivable". "Maybe Ao-chan likes Nene more than me is not far!" or anything of sorts

Even when Aidairo uses the same over-the-top/creepy gag humor I personally find excessive, and Aoi straight up flirts with Nene, Akane's only thoughts about it are the usual "I love her so much"

When he does show dislike for Nene it's never because she is of value to Aoi. It's because of how dismissive Nene can be, not taking Aoi's safety seriously and easily excusing Hanako's actions.

We only see him be aggressive with Nene when Hanako possesses her and makes Aoi uncomfortable.

The problem here is the framing, the comedy focus. It's hard to take it seriously.

Everything about Akane's intro chapter is hard to take seriously. We are told he is "Hard working. Reliable. What a nice and sweet person."

But we aren't shown these honorable qualities much, not explicitly at least. The big panels, the main focus, is on his gag.

And his main joke is that he loves excessively, even for this school standard where everyone is weird (like Nene writing a self-ship fanfic with Teru) so he needs to be over the top, his behavior has to stand out!

How do they try to achieve this? Yandere jokes.

It is overplayed, they spend pages on it. WHOLE PAGES on it.

It is an old narrative trick to present a twist character as a comic relief to lower suspicion, to keep the more important characterization for after a reveal when they are oficially important, but framing all his actions as comedic and devoid of dept to make his reveal as No.1 more unexpected leaves him in a strange position: Akane is intended to be written as a protector but framed as a joke, to the point his introduction become the satire of a protector.

When he is revealed as the clock keeper and allowed to be given more focus, Aidairo try to explain his behavior and show signs of him being a genuinely caring and kind person, as the first part of his intro had promised.

But it's to late.

His crazy actions and anger issues is in most people's minds, a few lines can't erase pages and pages of his introduction as a yandere like archetype, so it's easy for first impression bias to come into play and interpret all his actions as a simple "He is obsessive." instead of trying to find dept or nuance to the established dependence he has on Aoi.

When we are shown that above wanting to date her, he just wants her to be safe and happy, it does not become clear. The reader needs to pay a lot of attention to small moments like these:

Which a casual reader likely won't. Most are reading for the toilet trio at this point in the manga.

This fumble on his character introduction makes it hard to know what should and shouldn't be taken seriously. Aidairo discarded the yandere narrative relatively quick (we haven't seen Akane's bat in ages) but this gag about being happy as long as Aoi is happy turned out to be important:

It was used to further contrast Aoi's and Akane's mentality on their big arc, and highlight how much nearly losing Aoi affected him.

So the only way we can tell what joke to take seriously cause it will be used to build up his character and what is a gag is hindsight.

I did not care about Aoi and Akane's relationship when I first read the manga, i went 'oh cool!' on their conflict, cause that was very well done, but since their characters were not well introduced, I did not notice a lot of the ideas being shown to me.

Akane is a sweet boy. That's his core, his consistency. Even with Aoi, being kind is the priority over being with her.

Let's compare him with Hanako, who is an openly possessive character, and see how they approach their love interests when they don't know if their love interest likes them back yet, and they aren't reduced to a gag (so we'll dismiss Akane being 'a yandere with a bat', and Hanako's joke of him being a tactless pervert, like peaking under Nene's skirt when her time was frozen)

(so pre-chapter 86 to Hanako and pre-chap 69 to Akane)

Hanako traps Nene, he will cling to her anytime he can, he cares about Nene and loves her dearly, he even says he "loves everything about her" but he is greedy for her attention, he is selfish, always trying to make her focus on him out of everyone in the room and keeping her in his hold, out of others reach. His unsubtle possessive nature is a charm of his, makes for an interesting character.

Akane has a different vibe to it. He doesn't have many serious moments with Aoi before their spotlight arc, unfortunately, but when he does, he focuses on reassuring her (even when her time is frozen and she can't hear him) and avoids touching her at best he can. He has known her for more than 10 years, but he doesn't act as if she belongs to him.

I am not saying Akane is not possessive of her, he is. But he tends to be more worried about her than anything.

Using hanako as the trademark of possessiveness again, check out these two scenes:

At the start of the manga Kou likes Nene, and Akane is under the impression Teru like Aoi, so both scenes follow the basic premise of "A know B has a crush on their crush, and they get possessive over a possible romantic rival being too close."

Hanako doesn't say anything, but his message is clear "She is mine."

Akane explicitly says he doesn't like Teru near Aoi but he doesn't try to remove Aoi from Teru or try to do anything violent. Why would he? Aoi is in no danger, nor is she uncomfortable, so he changes focus to the person who is troubled, awkwardly reassuring Teru that his distress is, in his personal opinion, stupid, so "chill bro".

He wasn't like that with Teru before.

He was so determined to stop the wedding he even rejected hanging out with Aoi, crying tears of blood and asking for her forgiveness in his mind but prioritizing not making her get together with Teru above her joy.

Is that because of his development? Yes! A big part is. Notice the way he treats his mental image as reality? That was his biggest flaw, he imposed his views on Aoi (the view being "everyone is stupid in love with Teru" in this case), and assumed what he believes is a universal truth, doing exactly what Aoi accused him of: Not seeing her, just an idea of her.

But the reason he went so crazy and determined, it's because Akane saw Teru as someone dangerous. Someone who would use Aoi. Hurt her. He believes he is protecting Aoi from the big bad president. A view that makes sense when we take into consideration both Aoi's history of being forced into relationships, and when we go back to their interaction.

Look at this and tell me this isn't a threat:

Teru acts as if he barely remembers her name, she is just 'that cute girl', mostly a tool for him to use against Akane.

When his view of Teru changes to someone kinder who genuinely cares about Aoi as a person, he no longer enters protective mode.

He is still bothered about the idea of Aoi being with someone else, he does noooot look pleased even with his fairy tale vision of a happy couple, but the way he treats this possible 'rivalry of love' when he does believe Teru loves her is so different from his "Don't get close to her!! I will NOT allow it!!" approach.

There is no insecure overthinking. No aggression. He is playful about it. He even teases Teru.

He just wants to focus on rescuing Aoi. A 'rivalry' isn't important. He needs her to be safe.

These two parts of Akane have been juggling for a long while.

But now, character focus is the priority, and I am thankful the damage is being undone, that Aidairo let Akane's love take up whole pages instead of small panels buried under pages of jokes.

Their codependence, no matter how many issues it has, and how it can sabotage them, is based on so much care for each other.

It's a shame I only believe Akane was sincere when he said he'll always be there to protect Aoi regardless if he 'gets to be with her', because of what we see later in the manga, not because of what had been set up in his intro.

[thegamingcatmom]

How do you think the denalis would react to a reader who loves giving head?

Same question for the Resident evil ladies

I mean-

Pretty much that, LMAO.

Ofc they´re all for it. What´s not to love about a beautiful lady expressing that love and devotion by devouring you like she´s got them cravings? 😩🤌

So, I´d say the inward reaction is more or less the same, no matter which lady we´re talking.

On the outside, however-

Listen, some of us got a reputation to uphold, aight?

...With that said:

(Imma switch to "you" here cause it flows a lot better and makes for a more immersive feeling. ;3)

Warning Promise: Things are about to get rather gay.

.

.

.

Tanya Denali:

doesn´t care about the place

outside, inside, up, down, above, under - great, she´ll take it

she does care about the position though

we´ve been through this - she´s no Bottom

so, don´t expect her to lie down like a pillow princess

she´s a leader, ffs

an alpha

she´s either gonna be sitting (preferably on your face) or standing

perhaps she´ll lift a leg for easier access if she´s standing

then it´s showtime

she enjoys herself thoroughly and has no problem letting the world know

why shouldn´t they know?

you belong to her just as she belongs to you, after all

let them hear

when she´s feeling particularly naughty, she´ll make sure to sound as much like a porn star as she can manage

to say she loves it when you turn as red as a lobster would be quite the understatement

it drives her wild

which is one of the reasons she does it in the first place

the other reason is to ensure her sisters won´t come within miles of the two of you

(and they better stay there)

...it´s also a massive boost to her ego though, it has to be said

seeing the effect she has on you, even when she´s the one receiving?

more often than not, that´s the final straw for her

Kate Denali:

like Tanya, she doesn´t really care about the place

but, unlike Tanya, she also doesn´t care about the position

she´s just damn happy to be here, yknow?

will curse

a lot

will also compliment you

a lot

it´s actually a combination, like-

"Fuck! You´re so pretty down on your knees. All f-for me? Fucking...p-perfect! My perfect little princezná. God-"

she loves letting you know what a mess she is

all because of you

her perfect little warrior

she´ll always worship you, even when she´s the one receiving

and not just vocally

she´ll touch anywhere she can reach

will comb her fingers through your hair

will cradle and stroke your cheek/s

stroke your back

massage your shoulders

just anywhere, yknow?

she needs that contact

(she might be a battle-hardened warrior, but she´ll turn into a huge sap softie for the right person)

she´s surprisingly sentimental too, afterwards

one might even call it poetic

"If my heart could still remember how to beat, it would race in your presence...my perfect little warrior."

Irina Denali

(I know that´s not from Twilight, but listen: I need me some gifs where Irina aka Maggie looks happy, pls and ty. 😭)

she´s big Mama

(yes, I´ll keep saying it because it´s important)

she finds your enthusiasm absolutely endearing

will giggle

hand covering her mouth and all

scrunching her nose

(she´s so precious)

unlike her sisters, she prefers a more private location

preferably in your shared bedroom

she might be convinced to do it just about anywhere in the house though, as long as it can be assured it´s free of prying eyes and ears

outside might work, but only if the area is rather secluded

(she´s a private person, aight? even more so when it comes to anything bedroom-related, like, excuse? it´s hard enough sharing you with her sisters, so she´s not gonna go and give some strangers a show that´s meant for her eyes alone-)

(...fine, and her sisters´)

(ugh)

vampires don´t get cramps or anything, but she still prefers lying down for it

it just makes the experience more intense for her because, despite being quite literally indestructible, she craves that vulnerability

it´s all about having someone you can bare your soul to, someone who gets you on a deep emotional level

she needs that connection to be able to fully let herself go

but when she does, oh boy-

she´ll make the sweetest sounds

whimpering, moaning, mewling - all of it rather high-pitched and shifting in volume, depending on how close she is

won´t stop running her fingers through your hair

will whisper sweet nothings

"My good girl...making me feel so good...I love you...so much."

will keep calling you her "good girl" all the way through because she loves seeing the effect it has on you

which affects her in return

which affects you in return

which affects-

.

.

.

Without further ado, onto the Village Ladies!

(Not sure if you were referring solely to the Dimi sisters? Anyhow, my thirsty ass added two more, hope you don´t mind. 🙃✌️)

Bela Dimitrescu

she´s a Momma´s girl

which means she's a mix between condescending and encouraging

(more condescending though)

will keep calling you her "little one"

she talks a lot actually

someone has to make sure you´re reminded of your place, after all

and of hers

(all that talking is more or less for her own ego tbh)

(she´s got a reputation to uphold, aight?)

(she´s more bark than bite, most of the time)

(except when she isn´t)

(that shit hurts like a bitch btw)

"Look at you, little one...d-down on your knees for me...as it s-should be..."

"You should count yourself l-lucky, little one...to be in a position d-desired by...many-" *proceeds to break into incoherent mumbling*

"S-Serve me well, little one, and I will...I will ask Mother to...k-keep you..."

(jokes on you, that was never a question)

you would never dare say it out loud (you rather enjoy living, tyvm), but the fact she´s such a tryhard will never not amuse you

it´s very obvious she´s trying to mimic her mother

trying to be all intimidating and shit

emphasis on trying

because she fails spectacularly at it

every time

she reminds you of a spitting kitten actually

(those claws hurt like a mf though)

Cassandra Dimitrescu

(I fucking love that shot. Look at that lazy ass bish. You just know she cba about pretty much anything.)

she´s a bit like Kate actually

minus the whole worshipping

which means she´ll pretty much curse the whole way through

also loves to dirty talk

"Fuck! Someone´s been practising, hm? F-Fucking the maids in secret, are you? Dirty little whore, of course you are...f-fuck! MORE!"

she´s loud

very

and proud

very

she loves letting the whole castle know just what the two of you are up to

especially because it annoys the heck outta her sisters

(especially Bela)

also has her sickle with her

always

(it´s her partner in crime, what did ya expect?)

she´ll use it as a way to ground herself

literally

sometimes, it misses you by a hair´s breadth when she goes about impaling the ground right next to you or the wall she´s leaning against

dw, she knows what she´s doing

...probably

listen-

there´s no way she´s gonna let such a dedicated little thing like you slip through her fingers

much less on accident

what a waste that would be

so I´d say you´re pretty safe

(for now)

Daniela Dimitrescu

she´s vibrating

literally

getting her to remain somewhat still is a struggle, lemme tell ya

she´s like a hyperactive puppy

and she chitters like a little birdie

sometimes, she´ll hiss like a spitting kitten too

with Dani, you got a whole farm in your bedroom, it has to be said

she´ll keep telling you how much she loves you

then she´ll switch to almost beheading you

accidently, ofc

she´s just so...excited, yknow?

and she has a rather tight grip on your hair indeed

oh wait, she´s back to telling you how much she loves you

...

it also becomes painfully clear to her that you haven´t said it back yet

"D-Don´t you love me?!"

...

"Mine, you´re mineminemineminemine-"

that´s her fav word btw

she´ll chant it like a mantra almost all the way through

sometimes, she´ll scream it too

"SAY THAT YOU´RE MINE!"

...

she´s back to telling you how she´s always dreamed of finding true love

all loving and tenderly

a stark contrast to the maniac who almost beheaded you only seconds ago

accidently, ofc

she loves you

"Y-You´re mine...my...my Princess Charming...aren´t you? J-Just like...in the books...yes? We shall have a...A SPRING WEDDING!"

...

ofc my love, whatever you say my love

(I luv u pls no kill)

Lady Alcina Dimitrescu

she´s Big Mama

literally

but also Scary Mama

literally

she´ll have them claws out just because

(mostly to intimidate you, let´s be real)

it makes her feel like the apex predator that she is as she reclines in that big chair of hers

it´s massive, really

(we still talking about the chair?)

one leg propped up as she´s being served like a true queen

as it should be

she´ll watch you with a mix of endearment and loftiness (much like in the gif)

dancing the tips of her claws along your back

or stroking them up and down

or running them through your hair when she´s having an extra soft moment

(those are rare)

her other hand is occupied holding a glass of wine

(duh)

swirling it occasionally

taking a sip here and there

in the meantime, she´ll be fantasizing about all the ways she could end your life

(shit turns dark rather quickly in this household)

a swipe of her hand would suffice...

it´s about power, aight?

thinking about the power she holds drives her wild

she also loves taunting you

"Sssuch a nimble little mouse..."

"Or perhaps...masochistic would be a more fitting term, hm? So eager to ssserve...a dragon..."

you won´t catch her moaning and whimpering like a mutt in heat

instead, she´ll draw out some of the syllables

or hiss

sometimes, she´ll pause in between words (probs the most apparent sign that what you´re doing is affecting her a lot more than she lets on)

when she´s getting closer, the occasional grunt might escape too

more like a growl, really

however, despite her aloof demeanor, she can´t deny that she finds your devotion most...charming

that´s probs why she keeps you around in the first place

cause we all know Big Mama likes getting her ego stroked

among other things

Mother Miranda

oh boy bird

she´s Birb Mama

feathers and all

she´s also crazy Mama

crazy eyes

crazy smile

yes, she does smile

occasionally

it´s more a smirk, tbh

she does so enjoy it when her devoted little followers show her just how devoted they are

she´ll wear them robes ofc

parted just enough to allow access

feathers poking out here and there

gotta be careful not to swallow one or smt

that´d be hella uncomfortable for sure

anyhow-

you´re in the church

(duh)

but the things going on there are far from holy

she´ll stand before you

more like you´ll kneel before her

as you should be

no hands

you ain´t touching none of that

divinity shall not be sullied by the likes of you

(...we´re not gonna talk about the fact you´re sullying her alright in this very moment)

just like Big Mama, she´ll taunt you

"Is this what you wish for in your prayers at night, hm?"

running her claws (aka her rings) through your hair

"Tell me, child...does this village harbor more corrupted souls such as yourself?"

grip getting tighter

and tighter

claws starting to dig in-

*hiss*

the sound of pain evokes a small chuckle

her grip loosens a smidge in response though

(see? she´s a huge softie :3)

"Perhaps I shall cleanse it, hm? Liberate it from its sinners... What do you think, little bird?"

it´s a rhetorical question ofc

(thank fuck)

Miranda does as Miranda damn well pleases

(the idea of Miranda threatening to erase a whole village while she´s being served is so real though)

she´s very composed, all things considered

("all things" being: you eating her out as if your life depends on it)

(I mean...)

it´s almost like she´s talking about the weather or smt, honestly

then she removes her rings

the only indication you´re nearing the grand finale

now she can actually hold on tight without having to worry about impaling your pretty head

very much so

shit hurts so good like hell

but it´s also a precaution

the thing is...Miranda might not be vocal about her feelings

but she doesn´t have to be

her transforming is all the confirmation you need

it´s her way of letting go, you could say

she won´t go all out though

just parts of herself

her fingers being one of them

(yall are familiar with her mutated form, right? them fingers be going on for days)

hence, the precaution

she has lost quite a few rings that way

she´s grown rather fond of the current set

it´s got black tips and all

🖤💅🏻

.

.

.

Yall noticed how it got more unhinged as we progressed? The slow descent into madness was real with this one, LMAO. 💀

I could feel the obsession starting to creep back in with every word, lel. Dani might have just become my fav among the daughters. :3

Thanks a lot for your ask! I had a lot of fun with this one. 💋

[vethbrenatto]

TLOVM Season 3 Retrospective

I am not a campaign plot purist. The concept of fitting a meandering D&D campaign into a 12-episode season of television is, by all accounts, ridiculous. TLOVM is based on the campaign, not a blanket retelling, and we've all known that from the start. In fact, that's why I'm not particularly worried about the comments about the M9 series that CR has released, how the plot will change vastly. D&D, especially in worlds DMed by Matt Mercer, is extremely sand-boxy and will not one-to-one translate to the time allotted in TV and movies. VM is actually the campaign that I think translates the best to the medium without much modification as it has very clear arcs and corresponding antagonists (Briarwoods, Chroma Conclave, Vecna).

That said, the core behind plot changes is that the narrative heart should remain. The character beats, the character arcs. And I do think Season 3 dropped the ball with this.

Let's start with those that I think were handled better- Vex and Percy. Percy's relationship with both Ripley and Vex, I think was handled excellently. We see Percy's journey to move beyond vengeance and try to grasp something real beyond it, the start of the man who just wants to be a clockmaker. Vex struggles to be loved and deal with her fear that's she's a curse to those she loves and then her reluctance to do it while Percy was still alive, thinking she's missed her shot.

Vax and Keyleth have an odd role switch in this season, with Kiki (initially) hopping into the Vaxleth relationship while Vax feels it's too risky to get involved? This just feels weird to me, as a lot of Vax's characterization is so centered around still pulling for love in the face of death and adversity. Outside of Vax, Kiki gets a late season arc about believing in herself and coming into her own as a leader, but I felt this was somehow both redundant and underplayed. Keyleth's fire plain aramente in Season 2 felt reminiscent of her E10/11 scenes in Season 3, so I got a bit of deja vu. But also the stem of her belief in herself in this season, her instinct about Raishan is so underwhelming. Keyleth's moral compass and instict is a pivotal character beat for her, she's the only one who clocked Raishan and that matters. The others disregarded her opinion and that matters. And yes, it got brought up, but the take away ends up being just tying back to Vax and "You have ties to this world. Don't be afraid to let people in." ?? These are two separate issues, my guy. (On this point, I feel I must point out that while plot changes are necessary, Keyleth spent an episode and a half doing a scrying spell. Could she not have been better utilized exploring her emotional connection and friendship with Percy in the Vax/Vex chasing down Ripley plotline?)

Grog is absolutely shafted in this season. I can't say it's shocking- Grog is a simple guy (Likes ale, fighting, loves his friends) and I don't expect him to reach the character depths others do. But he had a very clear place he could’ve soared this season- yes, the Scanlan stuff. Not only is the “fix him” character beat a muffled whimper, but he’s left to comedically hold Scanlan’s limp body while Pike goes off to save him (by finding Kaylie). Grog could’ve easily slid into that side story, Kaylie could’ve heard not only from Pike about Scanlan and why he’s important and good and worth saving, but also from Grog, a man who cares about very few people in the world, but so very deeply when he does and Scanlan is one of those people he cares about.

I enjoyed the amount of Pike content this season (that’s my girl!!!) and I won’t get super into because I already made a post about it, but I just didn’t really get the crisis of faith arc for her. She’s already experienced a crisis of faith in a prior season and it’s not something I feel like campaign!Pike would’ve gone through, even IF Ashley was full time at the table. It weirdly almost feels like ground building for the current Bells Hells/Downfall/Calamity takes on the Critical Role gods as opposed to how Pike would feel about her deity, specifically. I did enjoy her relationship to Scanlan in the season and her support of Scanlan building a relationship with his daughter, it felt like a nice connection to Scanlan asking Pike to be Kaylie’s person if he died during the campaign.

And Scanlan. Oh, Scanlan. Just… confused, is all I can say. The show has had Bard’s Lament seeds for multiple seasons, including in S3 itself, and then just doesn’t go through with it. I simply don’t agree that it couldn’t work in the medium- what it feels like is that this is the more palatable story to tell. The resentment is so important to his character development. The show makes this all about Kaylie and fatherhood, which is of course a huge part of ABL, but the lament is also about Scanlan himself (in fact, I'd argue that Kaylie is more of a loose factor in it; his promise to kaylie [another egregious cut in the story] being a spur of the scene and Percy calling him out changing the trajectory of what Scanlan leaving actually was. it's about Kaylie, but it's kind of not). It's about feeling neglected or undervalued. There are scenes in TLOVM throughout alluding to this (a couple with Vex in particular I can think of in 1, 2, AND 3) but then no payoff? That part of the character development is completely swept under the rug for both Scanlan AND those around him. Pivotal moments in the campaign have been honored in TLOVM, even with shifts in them (the arrows in Ripley's heart and mouth, Keyleth stands up to Raishan, "My heart is yours"), but when the defining campaign moment is Scanlan's, it's completely changed. I simply think this is too far outside of the original intent and character beat to pretend it's honoring the moment.

So, yeah, I really don’t care if Scanlan just goes down instead of gets fully resurrected. Or that the fire plain and the trek to the city of Dis is combined into one journey. Those are just plot points.

What gets me is that these character beats, the meat and heart of the story, are getting shifted dramatically and not in ways that I feel are aiding the narrative.

ALL THAT SAID, this is going to sound a lot more negative and hatery than I really feel. This post is mostly of summation of criticisms, when there were of course, many highlights in the season. TLOVM continues to be a beautiful, well done show and would not keep getting renewed if it was a flop. But there are certainly things that I think could be done better.

[starstriix]

can we talk about just how effective jock would’ve been in pushing a jo character arc. It’s not just the fact that Brick acts as a good moral compass, but it’s also how he encompasses EVERYTHING jo tries to avoid (he’s open with his femininity, emotional, sensitive, clumsy etc) and jo…still likes and respects him??

Like, she views him as an equal to the point of overestimating him (you and I both know that mf was trying his hardest in the thumb wrestling scene and jo was all “oh he hardly tried!! what a gentleman!!☺️” GIRL YOU NEARLY BROKE HIS THUMB). You can tell she genuinely enjoys competing with Brick, and she’s never bored whenever they interact. She’s often the one to go up and talk to him, despite beating him time and time again. Jo views him as a worthy competitor even after witnessing him being the most embarrassing man alive (who the fuck tries to dislocate their hip to impress a girl) and pissing himself.

The point is, Jo clearly holds Brick in somewhat of a higher regard despite him showing weakness so often. And that’s important because Jo’s main driving force is not wanting to appear weak.

You can see little moments of her showing care or concern before immediately switching back to her cutthroat attitude. Caring is a “”weakness”” that prevents you from winning (demonstrated by Brick in episode 7). When Jo volunteers to have makeup put on her, she immediately covers it up with a facade of toughness and says she’s “only [doing it] for the good of the team” (Compare this to Brick’s “Yeah, you heard me.” after announcing his dream of going to fashion school). She’s definitely struggling with internalised misogyny and associating femininity with weakness, but that’s an essay for another day.

Brick shows so much “weakness” and yet she still somewhat respects and even cares for him more than the other contestants. And I find that SO interesting.

Especially because he's her rival??? Their relationship is the embodiment of competition. Overcompetitiveness (or toxic competitiveness) is one of Jo's most glaring flaws, so to have her actually care about the one she should be against the MOST? It's a really good way of showing her overcoming her own toxic competitiveness.

Also, the parallels between Jo basically kick-starting Brick's character arc about prioritising the wellbeing of others...and then having Brick be a focal point in a Jo arc about prioritising the wellbeing of others...chef's kiss

I'd also like to add a little detail in relation to Jo's contestant biography. Specifically on her weird dream about letting a guy win because she thought he was "attractive." Yes this was hinting at Brick idc it was way too specific and odd compared to the other dreams, and Brick is the only guy we know who constantly competed against her (and lost). And I'm definitely reading into this too much, but it's actually quite interesting how her subconscious attraction to the guy overpowered her very, VERY intense need to win. Guess that's why it was a weird dream, but it still makes me think about the potential of Jo sacrificing her win for someone she grew to care for. Also I want representation of masc women in relationships that aren’t just played off as a joke

I can go on about this all night (I wish I could) but yeah. I really wish they'd give Jo a proper character arc because she really deserved one. She deserves to be able to grow and develop because she's a great fucking character, and Brick was literally the key to all of that. Peace out

[happypoppyhaha]

Criticism?

Most yanderes I read are somewhat just horny and straight out lustful leaving no actual love to the reader to feel or make them feel they're being care about instead of being a fuck toy and being abused. Like I don't like how yandere are selfish and engulfed in their own pleasure. I know there are different types of yanderes but let's now waste them down to horny motherfuckers who can't keep it in their pants and lose the true definition of a yandere.

I know some of y'all would say "Oh, it's punishment for escaping or ignoring, or talking to a random guy." That's overdoing it and it's tiring when I read the same thing over and over again. I know y'all will also say "It's not for you, go read something else." The problem is, most of that smut shit takes over the ones I actually want to read without the seconds of raping, there's a maybe FEW of genuine true love for the readers and the yandere. Yes, this sounds like I'm complaining but I hold it long enough. I tried to enjoy the yandere smut. But I can't. I don't like how yandere just flat out rape us within seconds without getting to know what his favorite color is and expect that is love. I feel like yandere wouldn't do that just for being lustful towards us, saying how much they want us. It should be having sex for wanting to showcase their love to us or show how much they're attached to us and wanting to get more close emotionally to increase the love in different ways. Sex can be emotional for both parties, not just horniness. Romance is the progress and the build up in a relationship, that's why sex should be treasure because it carries so much weight. If we have sex with the yandere without the genuine affection there, then it's nothing. Sex should be a reason, not out of boredom, not out of horniness but out of love and wanting to thrive of being closer. I think yandere will thrive for emotional intimacy. Any kind of intimacy that brings the reader closer and closer to them, to the point they're truly connected. Maybe it's my way of thinking how a yandere should be but it's more logical to me. I just want a bond with the yandere and make me feel like I'm actually their girlfriend they me claimed to be.

Yandere- Sweet, caring, and innocent before switching into someone who displays an extreme, often violent or psychotic, level of devotion to a love interest. Google.

Cancel the sweetness, most yanderes show that to their darling.

We all know that a yandere will snap, making them have a second personality devoted to their lover. Their regular personality is just them in general without the lover being in danger or taken away from them or rejecting them. But don't make it their entire whole character. Make them relatable to us, having the same traits as us. Maybe a bond will be there.

Yandere will snap if their darling is persistent on leaving them or showing signs of rejection. This will trigger them. Or somebody is trying to romance them. Anything with them not getting their lover. The question is, if they get their lover but they don't love them or return the love. This is important to the yandere. Having the person you killed for but they don't want nothing to do with you. It hurts, the yandere want their love not just their existence. And I think yandere would also care for their darling well-being after all, they're in love with darling so when you deeply love the person it'll make sense for you to show care about their health. I don't like how yandere, mostly male yanderes are portray. They wouldn't neglect our well-being or they just don't give a fuck about how we feel, thinking their actions won't affect us negatively. Expect us to be okay with it and somehow we are actually okay with it? We as the readers or as the darlings stated being soft. Look, I get it they will torture us or beat our ass if we act out of line, some of us will still be persistent, mostly I see it's freedom. But it's never MOSTLY about taming the yandere or the yandere can't tame you because you act of control like spiraling or not living up to their expectations not being a traditional woman, just a woman who mimics male behaviors or just not ladylike in general. I see some of this happening, some. And I'm still searching for readers who are not controllable by the yandere. Not making the reader be nice or innocent. Like a batshit crazy reader or the reader who acts real goofy and childish enough the yandere thinking they're the parent for having to tolerate you. But it's a few of these and it makes me sad how male yandere x readers are turning into something I won't be able to enjoy anymore and I want to enjoy it but I can't because we are making it into pattern.

[morlock-holmes]

I got sucked into reading click-bait and once again I find myself angrily asking,

"What the fuck do conservatives think gender is, anyway?"

Because they keep saying that it's just "science" or "biology" even though that makes no fucking sense at all with how they talk about it.

Like, they'll say, "Biologically there are only two genders" and when you go, "Wait, there are more than two combinations of sexual traits" they just glibly go, "But there are only two combinations that count" and then drop the fucking mic like nobody could ever beat such a great argument.

There's also the bizarre insistence that trans ideology somehow denies biology; in fact, if that were the case, it would be very, very difficult to even conceive of a difference between cis and trans people.

Like, I often say, "I am a man," but conservatives seem to think that if I switched to saying "I am a trans woman" that I would suddenly be... what, claiming to have been assigned female at birth? Because I would literally be saying the exact opposite of that.

Any out trans person is being totally honest about "biological reality" and freely admitting to the exact biological facts which are supposedly so important and so contested.

I will die on this hill because I could not possibly be more obviously correct.

There is, as far as I can tell, absolutely no disagreement between trans people and anti-trans conservatives about underlying biological facts about human bodies.

So why there's this bizarre insistence on pretending that such a disagreement exists is a source of profound confusion and consternation for me.

[house-of-slayterr]

Character who would find you attractive covered in blood…

Inspired by: @slasher-male-wife

Kaz Breker:

I think at first, Kaz would be concerned where the blood came from. He won’t verbalise his concern, but you’ll see it in his eyes, when he raises a brow at you. After you assure him that none of the blood is yours, his brain will switch gear. He’s gonna take in every inch of your appearance to save away in his head for later. You might not be at the point in your relationship yet where he’ll expect touch. But that doesn’t mean this man doesn’t desperately want you. He’ll save this image for alone time.

Kai Parker:

Malachi is a sadistic little freak, everyone knows that. But despite this, he does have a select few people he can’t fathom the thought of torturing for real. One of them being you. His brain almost short circuits when you walk in covered in blood. He’s on his feet within moment dragging you into his arms. He won’t ask for reassurance that it’s not yours, just silently check your body for wounds. Once he finds none a sick grin will grow on his face.

“Awww, did somebody just wanna get all dolled up and pretty for me?” He’ll coo in your ear.

He’d nip at your neck, licking some of the blood off of you. You’re not going anywhere the rest of the evening, Kai will be sure you can’t walk in the morning. If you let him, he’ll add to the mess and drag a knife softly across your skin to leave his mark. The sight of you covered in blood is his happy place.

Blaine DeBeers:

Blaine thinks you’re the hottest thing to ever walk this earth on a normal day. That zombie has no shortage of pet names or dirty thoughts to whisper in your head or text you. If he finds you covered in blood before you’re turned, the concern side of his head will kick in first. Blaine finds you quite fragile and his biggest fear is someone taking you away from him. He’s at your side in a moment pushing anyone and anything out of his way to get to you. But once he’s reassured you weren’t attacked and aren’t actively dying, a thousand questions swim through his head.

He’s going to ask for more details about what happened and why you did it. But his hands a running up and down your body the whole time, just smeering and playing with the blood. If anyone else was in the room, even for an important meeting, he’d excuse them all immediately. And locking the door. You’re not leaving his office.

And if he finds you covered in blood after you’re also a zombie, he goes straight into horny mode. Though you will get some playful wining from him after about how you didn’t share your food.

William Pratt:

He’s gonna be a cocky little shit the second you come to him drenched in plasma. William could smell if it was your blood, he has your scent committed to memory, it is his favourite thing after all. So there’s no immediate worry from your blond boyfriend. Though a few questions in the back of his head if you’re mentally ok with your current predicament. But he can also hear your heart beat, and knows you’re not in distress.

“Well somebody had a fun evening, care to share your festivities little blood bag?”

He’s going to immediately drag you to his crypt and beg to lick every once of blood off your body. He wouldn’t be apposed to messing you up even more ontop of it. I don’t think you could stop him from biting you even if you tired. As much as he loves the strangers blood, yours is what he desperately craves. Plus what’s hotter than feeding during sex? Spike knows you love his bites just as much as he loves biting you.

Jasper Whitlock:

Jasper was surprised himself to find seeing you covered in blood so attractive to him. If the vampire had a heart beat it would be racing out of his chest. Jasper has a darker side he likes to try and keep hidden from his family. It doesn’t matter if you’re still human or already turned. His eyes immediately go pitch black and he’s licking his lips, wanting to ravish you in anyway possible.

He wishes he were an artist so he could paint this moment 1000 times to perfect the sight of you. Of course if you’re human, he’s a little concerned you might be hurt, but he doesn’t smell any of your blood, just the strangers. Thoughts creep in his head about what you would taste like. He speeds to you in a millisecond carefully picking you up and takes you to his room. He’ll take his time cleaning you up, slowly washing the blood off your naked body as he kisses you in between. He wants to worship you in this state. He will act first, ask questions later.

Thomas Hewitt:

Nobody is surprised by the fact Thomas finds you hot covered in blood, besides Thomas. You waltzed into this man’s life and flipped it upside down. He was supposed to kill you like the others, you were supposed to become dinner. But when one of the other victims turned on you and tried to sacrifice you to save themselves. All he saw was red… both literally and figuratively.

He’d watch for a moment as you try to fend for yourself first before stepping in and slitting the victims throat. Because of the angel, you almost get more covered than him, trying to back up and make sure none of it got in your eyes.

Thomas would stand there panting softly starring down at you. Of course he’s found other victims attractive before, but the poor boys has never acted on it. But he finds himself stalking over to you and gripping you in his arms before he can stop himself. He lets out a soft grunt resting his head ontop of your blood soaked hair. His was of saying “mine”. Thomas is already formulating a way to beg his family to keep you as his little pet. He wants to see you covered in blood over and over and over again. You might just be his new addiction.

Tiffany Valentine:

This woman has never been shy about anything in her life. You knew exactly what you were getting into before dating her. And her plan to wear you down until you joined her in the killing was working. Because here you stood now, knife in hand, tearing out the heart of a woman who dared to insult and hurt your lover. Tiffany wanted to break you, as much as she loved you sweet and innocent she’d been craving your hidden darkness. And Tiffany always gets what she wants.

She’s already wet just watching you. But her adrenaline is rushing wondering what delightful horrendous thing you’ll do next. What she wasn’t expecting was for you to take a bite out of the heart, before offering it up to her. She’d step over the copse taking the heart from your hands but leave you sitting on your knees, her favourite position to have you in. She takes a moment to take in the sight of you, the lust and love swirling in her chest seeing you like this. So disgusting and all for her.

She doesn’t care about the fresh corpse in the room, long forgotten as she puts you in your place. You’ll be worshiping at her feet all night, devouring her till she’s satisfied enough to pleasure you back.

Lestat De Lioncourt:

I don’t think this one needs much explaining. Lestat takes any excuse he can to get you absolutely drenched in blood. He loves the carnage and the filthiness of it. He’s a messy eater himself, and he knows you love seeing him like this as much as he loves watching you.

It doesn’t matter if your turned or not, he finds the blood attractive either way. He loves listening to your human heart racing when you watch him feed, usually kissing you after to get your face covered in blood. It was common occurrence, he was proud to leave a mark on you in any way he could, even if it was temporary. He loved to bite you all over and just watch the blood dribble down you, before licking it up. Your thighs, chest, neck, anywhere he could reach would be covered in bites.

But after your turned, he wants to be there to give you your first meal. Watch you devour your prey and feed off them with you. Feeding almost always leads to sex with him. He can’t help the way seeing you like this gets him going. And he won’t be shy or quiet about his desires.

Venom:

Now I’m talking Venom as its own entity. If he’s attached to Eddie I think Eddie would be far more concerned and worried and drown out whatever venom is thinking. But depending on who the symbiotic is attached to you’ll get a different reaction. Venom will always feel the same however, it’s just if these desire will be verbalised and acted upon that’s the difference.

He already finds humans to be tasty little morsels, in fact it was something he called you quite often. You were his favorite tasty morsel. If you’re the one bleeding, Venom will still be incredibly horny. The scent of you blood makes him feel high. Of course he’ll tend to your wounds, but that won’t stop his tongue from exploring your body.

But if it’s someone else’s blood, his eyes will be zeroed in on you the second he sees you. His sharp teeth breaking into a sickening grin. He’s so proud of his baby and he wants to show you just how much. You’ll get endless praise and he won’t stop begging you after to get covered in blood for him more often. He loves bloody sex, or even just cuddles, either way you’re not leaving his sight, let alone his arms for several hours. Doesn’t matter if you had stuff to do or want to shower, the only way you’re cleaning off in the shower is if he joins you.

Harry Warden:

Is anyone surprised? After all, you are his BLOODY valentine. It’s in your title. And who are you to deny him what he wants to see. Harry would be greatly concerned if it was your blood. His body immediately fuelled with rage wanting to avenge you and kill the person who dared to touch his one true love. But a part of him still thinks you’re the most beautiful person in the world, even when you’re bleeding in his protective arms.

But if it’s someone else’s blood, that’s a different story. Harry loves it when you join him in disposing of the vapid couples who simply are a joke compared to the two of you. Their love doesn’t deserve to be validated because they will never love eachother as much as you and Harry would die for each other. He loves watching you test the couples and see who will turn on each other, before stepping in to help you dispose of the dismantled lovers.

Barely a minuet will pass between the killings and his mask being ripped off his face and you being slammed into a wall. Of course his reasons for killing before you were jealously, but now he wants to immortalise your love by killing anyone else who dares to taint the name of romance. These killings are your show of love for each other and nothing makes him more turned on. Of course he’ll take you back home, nice and proper. He’ll make out with you in public, but he doesn’t want to risk anyone seeing what’s ONLY his. And he doesn’t want any interruptions.

An: ahhh, I haven’t written in so long, but I felt inspired this morning. Sorry for being gone yall, I promise I’m alright, just lots of medical stuff going on and doctor appointments have been keeping me busy. I love yall. Hope to write more soon 🫀

Tag: @kados-of-chaos @oceansrose2002 @mothmans-kingdom @myers-meadow

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #63 – Saga, Book 1 by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples

I first starting reading Saga a literal decade ago (I think literally because Rachel Maddow recommended it on a podcast? Which, god, what a 2010s sort of sentence). I absolutely loved it at the time, and read intermittently until it went on an extended hiatus. So extended, in fact, that I’d kind of assumed the series was dead and only learned it had restarted a couple years ago quite recently. So, seeing as I am now in need of a new comic, I figured I’d restart from scratch and work up to the new stuff. It holds up! (and the letters to the editor are a fascinating cultural time capsule).

The series follows Alana and Marko – star-crossed lovers who eloped together from opposite sides of a brutal and galaxy-spanning race-war – and their newborn daughter Hazel as they evade the numerous forces trying to see them all murdered before than can become an embarrassment. The first arcs of this are most one long blind panic finding transport off-world and only afterwards deciding upon a destination, it’s only in the last volume (with the pointed assistance of Marko’s parents) that there’s any thought of finding stability or a status quo. Along the way, both the family and the series collect a wider and wider circle of colourful hangers-on – and the narrative begins switching focus to give real narrative focus and character arcs to three different groups that find themselves tracking down the family. None of them are particularly happy lives, but they all make for very compelling drama.

The best way to describe this is I suppose a ‘science-fantasy dramedy’. Which sounds viscerally and violently wrong, but the comedy and the drama are both absolutely vital motors keeping it running. And this is the incredibly rare work that actually makes them work together seamlessly. It’s an incredibly vulgar book in a dozen different ways, but the characters are all plausible and compelling, and once you have granted the slightly contrived explanation for why both governments care so immensely about Marko and Alana the plot coheres enough to never take you out of the story. Which is helped by the pacing being fast and tight in a way that always kept me (at least) engaged. I do deduct points for the wise author character basically looking directly at the fourth wall and saying ‘and the profound message of my work is-’ (moreso because said message is truly eye-roll-inducingly vapid and dumb, granted), but that’s easily forgiven.

The comedy was...more hit-or-miss. There is a lot of clever wordplay and funny, high-context character beats. There are also a bunch of just absurd or striking visual gags or background details that really work. And then there is the giant with balls so big and hideous that they almost crush someone to death.

It’s been said (by people with far more knowledge of and investment in the medium than I) that mainstream American comics are these incredible wells of repressed sexuality – full of physically implausible women dressed for a burlesque and with panels framed by a particularly sleazy tabloid photographer, but oddly coy about actually talking about or including sex itself. Which tracks with my limited experiences, but might just be bullshit I don’t know – what I do know is that Saga is basically the exact opposite of that.

Which is to say, this is an intensely sexual comic, but an atypically non-sexualized one. Which is a bit of an odd distinction, but compare how Saga shows an uncensored orgy and how any given artist at a con draws prints of Power Girl and you’ll get the idea. This is on balance a very good thing, occasional junior-high-level visual gags and gross-out humour aside. Sex is a part of life, of varying importance to different people but something present and shaping the world regardless (and Marko and Alana very much do believably seem like a couple that’d have a kid together without a huge excess of planning beforehand).

Aside from Alana, Marko and Hazel (and hangers-on including a phantom babysitter and Marko’s somewhat-approving parents), the various groups hunting them get a really surprising amount of page-count – The Will, Lying Cat and Prince Robot are all basically main characters in their own right, and Gwendolyn, Sophie, Upsher and Doff aren’t fair off. It’s an immense accomplishment that a series of 28-30 page comics manages to bounce between so many characters and always keep them all moving, both physically and emotionally. (The character work and character design of this is worth at least the price of admission on its own, really).

The thing that most makes me love the comic is, I think, how it will introduce characters and tell you explicitly they are murderers and monsters – and then show them struggling and risking their life out of guilt or altruism or love, show them falling for people and being part of rich social worlds, show the trauma and baggage and shitty relationships that made them who they are. Make you care about them and root for them, want them to accomplish what they need to to get a happy ending – and then have them destroy something or kill someone else you’ve grown to care about. Aside from the really obvious stuff about intolerance and war, it’s one of the most consistent themes of the series that monsters have lives and loves too, which is frankly something I wish more stories (and just, people) took to heart.

The setting is glorious, in a ‘mural on the side of a stoner van’ sort of way. Laser guns and spaceships that are giant flying trees, a kingdom of robots with TVs for heads and the planet-sized egg of what’s basically a living black hole – nothing that’s designed to bear scrutiny, but endlessly inventive and evocative and clearly very fun for the artist.

The most striking thing is that – even for now, let alone fucking 2012 – the comic is just incredibly diverse. Even leaving aside the really weird or cartoonishy exaggerated species there’s more diversity in body type and silhouette in one crowd scene of Saga than in most Hollywood movies I’ve seen recently. Same with race and sexuality—the whole setting seeming functionally queernorm except for the one couple whose character arc requires that they come from Planet Homophobia is slightly eyeroll inducing but again, compared to the early 2010s norm it’s soaring so high above the bar you can’t even see the ground.

So yeah, have fallen entirely back in love with it. Can’t wait to start in on Book Two.

[dangerousduckcloud]

Flowerbeds make up for a nice eternal rest

Read it also on AO3

“Don’t scream, bitch.” Your breath caught in your throat, the night wind cold in your face, a single lit blinking streetlight on top of you lighting up the street, the rest covered in darkness. “The boss will be happy to see you again.”

Chapter 11 < > Chapter 13

Masterlist

taglist: @kurai-hono-blog @katrina0-0 @readingfictionnothingelse @lookingforsyd

If anyone else would like to be added to the taglist, let me know!

This chapter took me a bit later to update than usual because a lot of changes (nothing bad) happened on my life, so I didn't have much time to be on my computer, but things are settling down now!

You couldn’t continue with the conversation, what else could you say? The boldness you’d felt disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, being replaced by shame that soon overcame your body, taking its rightful place in the part of your brain that fed of the worst possible outcomes your mind could think of at his lack of reply.

Because he didn’t even try to reply, to try and say something only to come out empty and leave it like that. No. He never even tried it, as the writing status never showed up (Not like you had spent half an hour looking at the screen in hopes of a response…).

He was certainly content with leaving it like that.

With a disappointed sigh, your gaze moved from the empty notification box on the phone to the droning voice in the background of the room, the weather cast of yet another raining week in Gotham. Why did they even bother? It rained every week in Gotham.

Letting your hand drop to the bed, you left the phone somewhere around the sheets, searching for the tv remote, surfing channels until you could find something mildly interesting.

“—llionaire Bruce Wayne, it sure is a wonder how he’s managed to keep his company afloat.” The host said, the show was one of those evenings gossip programs that only helped to spread rumors about famous people. “Must be from all the air in his head.” Fake, canned laughs accompanied the lame joke. “Seriously, who in their right mind hands seventy percent of responsibilities of their multi-billionaire company to their seventeen-year-old son? It’s only a matter of time before he drives it to bankruptcy.”

Your lip curled at hearing the presenter talk trash about Tim, if only they knew he was as smart —if not maybe even smarter— than Batman, they wouldn’t be talking shit. Tim could physically and mentally outsmart everyone watching the program right now. Hell, even the leader of the League of Assassins was so impressed by his smarts he wanted to work with him.

Huh, did Tim still had his spleen? You should make a note of asking him later.

A muffled ding from your phone had your heart beating fast, looking under the covers to find the device and check if he’d finally replied. You did have a message, but the sender, as well as the content, made you frown.

              | Come down to the cave.

It read. A second text popping up a few seconds later.

              | Please.

It was unusual of him to say his ‘please’s and ‘thank you’s, so you assumed it must be something important to him to say it. You stood up, not wanting to leave the kid waiting, switching your sandals for sneakers, as the cave tended to be quite cold, especially late in the evenings.

When you got down there, you couldn’t see anyone, specially since patrol wasn’t going to start until a couple of hours later, when the family would come down here to warm up before going out. Was he simply pranking you? You scoffed at being forced to get up from your comfy bed for nothing, turning around to go back to your room.

“Hiya!” A voice said from behind, hitting you on your arm with a cheap, plastic sword.

“Damian!” you groaned, rubbing your arm with the tip of your fingers. It didn’t really hurt; it was mostly the anger at being hit. “What the hell?”

“I gave away my location with a cry of war, you should have been able to block it.”

“Yeah, well, ‘s not like I was expecting to get jumped at here.”

“And that was your mistake.” He said, walking towards the training area, leaving the toy on the floor. “I shall rectify that for our next outing to the city in our civilian identities, shall we get confronted with an unfortunate situation once again.”

He took off his shoes, his socked feet bouncing slightly on the training mats, waiting for you to do the same. Your head tilt lightly to the left, the meaning behind his words dawned on you.

“You want to teach me self-defense?” The tip of his ears’ turning pink was enough answer for you, walking up to hug him. “Aww, Damian! I knew you cared!”

“Let go of me, dolt. I am only doing this to avoid another hostage situation that impedes the imprisonment of criminals.” You let him go, the kid dusting his clothes of any visible dust, with you feeling guilty at being reminded that Two-Face escaped because of you. “Now, remove your shoes so that we can begin.”

“But I’m not wearing gym clothes.” Your loose, red t-shirt, and black, cargo pants were probably the worst thing to train with.

“It is preferable to be wearing something you are most likely to wear if another incident were to happen, that way it doesn’t impede you from fighting back.” You hummed, using the tip of your foot to remove your shoes, not bothering to untie them.

The blue mat underneath you was firm. If you were to fall with even the least of force, it will most likely hurt for a second, but nothing that’ll do any kind of damage.

“Alright, what now?”

“You have been held at gunpoint already, but trying to disarm an armed man is the least thing you should do unless you are highly trained in martial arts like us.”

You frowned, kicking your right foot on the mat.

“So, what am I gonna learn, then?”

“Tt. I thought you were smarter. I just told you. Martial arts.”

You stood rooted in your spot. Damian Al-Ghul Wayne, grandson of the Demon’s Head, son of Batman, was going to teach you to fight?

“You want to teach me crime fighting?”

“No. Todd would endlessly hunt me if I did that— I am simply teaching you self-defense, whatever you decide to do with that knowledge is up to you.”

“What’s got Jason to do with— Umph!” Damian didn’t give you the opportunity to finish, instead, his foot swiftly knocking you on your back, the air leaving your lungs. You were right, the fall did hurt even on the padded mat. “Why?” You groaned, accepting his had to help you back up.

“You need to improve your surroundings awareness, but we can work on that during the day. Now, copy my movements.”

You did regular warming up exercises first, until he began to swiftly swing his arms as if to punch someone, going all the way out and then snapping them back in, going slow and then gradually upping the pace. While doing so, Damian thoroughly explained the exercise —the hook punch— would help you build muscle and getting your shoulders strong.

Once Damian was satisfied with your punches, he moved on to teaching you an uppercut, a right kick, side kick and a front back kick, first doing them in the air, moving to the training dummies, to a kick pad he was holding to teach you precision.

You were spent. Your shoulders hurt with the tiniest of movements, you were sure your knuckles were slightly bleeding from under the bandages, your legs were pulsating, tiny needles pricking you everywhere.

You felt like you wanted to nap for a thousand years, while Damian was barely sweating, taking a sip of his water, another bottle left on the floor next to your head, a straw pointed at you.

Lolling your head, you took the straw into your mouth, moaning once the refreshing water touched the desert it was your lips, an oasis for your broken body.

Damian sat down next to you, legs outstretched and his arms supporting him behind him. “He likes you too.”

“Who?” You asked, unsure if the two of you had been talking about someone and your brain didn’t register it.

“Todd. I had never seen him so upset when a civilian was in danger.”

Then why hadn’t he responded to your last message? It’s not like he didn’t know where you were all day, every day, to come and talk. And as much as you would like to believe love at first sight was real, it simply wasn’t. You two hadn’t spent that much time together for him to develop any kind of feelings, you wanted to believe there’s a possibility he might consider you attractive, but that was it.

“It’s simply because he knows me. I’m sure he would’ve been the same had it been you, or Cass, or Steph.”

“It has been us already, in our line of work it is not uncommon to be held at gunpoint; he worries, of course, but not like he did with you.”

Do not listen to Damian your mind screamed. But why not? your heart begged.

“It’s… different, Dami. He knows you’re capable of taking care of yourselves, I’m just a normal person, not a vigilante. I don’t know what to do in that situation.”

“Tt. What will it be? He would’ve been the same if it was us, or he does not worry as he is aware of our capabilities? Cloud your judgment with poor reasoning as much as you want. That is not the truth.”

Why were you so hellbent on not considering the possibility that maybe, just maybe he did like you? Every time the idea crossed your mind, your pulse quickened, and you felt empty. You always thought it was nervousness, excitement, maybe even hope.

But it was quite obvious if you thought about it for more than one second; it was fear.

Fear of having your feelings reciprocated, fear of having something real and having it taking away in an instant. You don’t belong here, you’ll leave and you can’t take that love home with you; they’re going to forget you, move on like they do from every single weird plight they’re drag to every month or so, while you’ll be left hollowed out with the longing of a life you’ll never be able to have.

“Ready for tomorrow?” You changed topics, heavily lifting your body until you were sitting, legs crossed, it pained you to do the simplest of movements, slowly closing and opening your hand to try and get rid of the pain. Damian had grabbed the plastic sword again, swinging it around as if it were a real one, his strikes to the dummy getting harsher at the mention of school.

“It is just a waste of my time, time I could be spending patrolling. Father does not allow me to go out during the week. Do you know how many cases I could be helping with?”

His last strike to the dummy broke the sword, the clattering of the plastic muffled by the training mat.

“Come on, school’s not that bad. I’m sure there’s some interesting clubs you can join, why don’t you check them out tomorrow?”

“Whatever…”

He picked up the broken part of the sword, checking to see if he could probably glue it back together. He walked past you, to where you’d seen some crates positioned to the far end wall. You’d finished your water already, but with doing more exercise this night than your whole life, you wanted to drink a whole river, however, that meant getting up and walking all the way to—

“Don’t scream, bitch.” Your breath caught in your throat, the night wind cold in your face, a single lit blinking streetlight on top of you lighting up the street, the rest covered in darkness. “The boss will be happy to see you again.”

No, no, no, no. That voice, that cold, metallic barrel on the back of your head couldn’t be real, they’re gone, behind bars and with several broken bones, courtesy of Red Hood.

Where was Jason?

Jason, Jason.

JASON.

You were back on the dingy basement, blood curling screams shattering the heavy atmosphere, steps were getting closer and closer from everywhere, echoing around the dilapidating walls.

“You thought you could escape?” A voice said, warping into a raspy, warbled voice reverberating all around you, eerie and screeching. “You can’t escape from the Scarecrow.”

The disembodied voice took form, a burlap mask with black, empty eyes that never stopped looking at you, even when he had his back to you, neck twisting like an owl’s.

“This will hurt, Jane.” He grabbed your arms, screaming in your face, the hold fickle until the palms were barely touching you, your name being called over and over again, but the voice wasn’t gnarled anymore, it was distant, raspy but childish-like.

“Jane!” It called again. Your vision was blurry, unfocused, bright blue lights enveloping you, the screams fading until they turned into a constant hum you’d learned to tune out. Through your tears, blurry green eyes met yours, but those were not the ones you wanted to see, these ones were harsh, cognizant, and hopeful, hiding his panic behind a green ocean. “Jane, you are safe. You are in the Batcave. I am Damian Wayne, not the Scarecrow.”

“Damian?” He nodded. “I—What happened? I wanted more water and then… Then I was there.”

“I am not sure. You had a panic attack, but I do not know what caused it.”

You screwed your eyes shut, trying to remember what the cause could’ve been. “I felt something, on the back of my head.” With a shaking hand, you prodded behind your head, feeling nothing but your hair and sweaty neck. “That’s when I heard the voices.”

Damian’s eyes widened, biting his bottom lip, looking at something behind you, following his gaze to see the taped-up sword discarded on the floor.

“I did not know.” His voice wavered the slightest bit. “I simply wished to annoy you, but when I put the sword to your head… You froze up, trembling and begging. I did not mean to cause such a reaction.”

You took a deep breath, calming your racing heart. Damian wasn’t here when you tried to escape, and knowing how great this family was at communicating, it was safe to assume no one had informed him of the kidnapping.

It was hard to be mad at him for something it wasn’t his fault (although you wanted to, for bringing you back to that moment), hell, you didn’t even know something like this could’ve happen, and with him looking so lost, out of the loop and believing it was his fault, you could barely hold the sentiment of anger. He looked so miserable, almost as much as you did. “I did not know that could happen.” Damian whispered, more to convince himself that this was an accident than anything else, and sat down away from you, afraid he would do something else to cause another panic attack.

With your heavy arms, you opened them, inviting him to hug you. The kid was wary, getting up a couple of centimeters. “Would you please hug me?” You knew you had to make him believe he was only doing it because you were distressed —which you were, a lot—, knowing he wouldn’t do it out of his own volition for not wanting to be seen as weak. Only when you said please did he stood up, sitting next to you, his arms encircling you in a way it showed he wasn’t used to hugging people and thus didn’t know how.

You hugged him tightly, resting your head on his hair, his head burrowing on your shoulder. You needed this as much as he did.

“Where… Did you go?” His voice was soft and doubtful in a way you’d never heard him speak. “You said that you were ‘there’.”

Taking a deep breath, you began explaining to him how unsafe you felt at the begging of all this, thinking you’d been kidnapped, and how you escaped only to actually be kidnapped.

“I am not surprised Drake did not bother to explain the situation. His incompetence is not surprising.” He scoffed, a light chuckle coming out of you. Midway during the explanation, you both laid down on the floor, some bats flying on the roof from time to time. “Are you… Will you inform Grayson of what happened?”

“Hm?” You were looking at a bat perched on the ceiling, cleaning its wings.

“I will understand if you do, and I will take any punishment you deem fit for my blunder.”

“What?” You turned to look at him. “Damian, I—Yeah, I will tell him, but not to accuse you or anything, just to let him know that things like that can provoke bad flashbacks for me, but you won’t be reproved for an accident.”

He nodded, turning his gaze back to the bats. What did he had to endure to believe that he had to be punished for a mistake? For something he had no control over and had no way of knowing it would happen? From what you’d gathered, he’d been here for at least a year, maybe a bit more. It wasn’t easy to understand the way you’d been brought up wasn’t the right one, to forget everything you’d been taught to in the span of a year, but his reaction made you think that not much had changed since he moved in to the manor.

You would have to pay more attention to the way he was treated around with everyone.

The silence that came upon was disturbed the sound of a motorcycle’s engine, only one person who could belong to. You both stood up, with Damian running to the parking pad.

“Akhi.” Damian greeted him. Jason got off the bike, taking off his helmet, his soft curls were all over the place, the tips wet with sweat. Did they have a heater in here or why were you feeling warmer?

“Hey, Demon Spawn.” Despite being a harsh nickname —and one would think it was because Jason didn’t like him—, it was the opposite, a warm smirk on his face, messing up Damian’s hair. “Oh, hey, Jane, what are you two doing down here?”

“Dami’s teaching me to defend myself.”

“Mmh.” Damian agreed. “I taught her five moves; she is a quick learner. I could have taught her more, but her brittle body had to take a break. Of course, I can still go on.”

It couldn’t be a compliment from Damian if it wasn’t also veiled as an insult.

“Really? You plannin’ on joining us on patrol now?”

Despite de carefree attitude, he was slightly tense.

“Not in a million years.” You chuckled, and the deep sigh leaving his lungs did not go unnoticed. “Just in case I get taken hostage again. The universe travelling agency didn’t mention anything about high crime rates.”

“That’s Gotham for you. Hey, is Dickhead here? Got some intel about the trafficking case.”

“He’s off planet with the League.” You replied nonchalantly, when had that become a normalcy in your life? “I’ll go find Tim; Dick left him in charge.”

“I will go.” Damian quickly piped up. “He should have been here already preparing for patrol.”

Without waiting for a response, he ran towards the stairs, and up to Bruce’s office.

The little shit left you and Jason alone on purpose.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 140 thoughts!

Reminder: because of the content of this arc in genera and this chapter in particular I will unavoidably have to discuss CSA and topics related to it, including grooming, emotional abuse and sexual assault. I do not discuss them in great detail, but if you very understandably just aren't in the headspace for that, no hard feelings - look after yourself and I'll see you next time.

So a lot of stuff goes on in this chapter but weirdly, I feel like I don't have a lot of stuff to say about it compared to the last few. Partially because it speaks so strongly for itself but mostly because, sort of similarly to 137, this is just clarification and reiteration of some themes and information that's been floating around loosely for however many chapters and we are just now actually pinning it all down into something more coherent.

Or at least, 15 Year Lie is pinning this all down into something more coherent. We're definitely playing a bit more with like, presentation and diegesis in these sections of the movie than we were with previous scenes. With the B-Komachi scenes, we very rarely fully entered the in-universe diegesis of the movie and the scenes being filmed quite firmly remain scenes being filmed by actors who are having their own thoughts, feelings and character arcs both about and separate from the material.

By contrast, both this and last chapter lean more into presenting these scenes as full flashbacks, fully immersing us in the material that the movie's diegesis essentially overtakes and becomes the manga's diegesis. It not only creates a sense of immediacy but also one of authenticity - by removing all the reminders that this is something being manufactured, a piece of in-universe dramatized fiction, the reader is invited to accept it uncritically as fact.

And honestly? I think this is a very clever trick. While I do think the broad emotional arc and relationship beats we're being presented with here are probably more or less true, there's a big question still hanging over the movie's presentation of things: how much of this is true and why is it being shown to us? This is a movie about Ai's life supposedly, right? So if this is the case, what's with this sudden POV switch to Kamiki… and how exactly did Aqua (and the rest of his 15YL collaborators in general) get this level of insight into 'Boy A'?

But I'm getting ahead of myself a bit…

Like I said up top, I think a lot of this chapter kind of speaks for itself, so all I'm gonna say is that this did a huge amount to really endear me to the HKAI dynamic, at least as 15YL is portraying things. It's just such a nice change to see Ai bouncing off someone her own age, squabbling and getting along and butting heads like a regular kid. It does a lot to really get across just what it was about this relationship that drew the two of them to each other. They have a good rapport and some cute chemistry and I'm finding myself rooting for them even in spite of knowing how it all ends.

The scene of them at the restaurant was honestly just a complete and total delight. It's been so fucking long since we got any content of Ai just being her likable goobery self so getting to see that again (and her and Hikaru's shocked and appalled reactions to the bill) was just so good.

The short exchange that follows is also so, so important, I think. Similarly to an early AQKN moment, we are shown Ai from Hikaru's POV - in which she wears a lovely smile and stands framed as the focal point of not one but two panels of brilliant light. This feels like a sort of answer to something I noted last chapter where HKAI's relationship seemed to be in the process of echoing both the AQAK and AQKN relationships - in Hikaru, Ai sees someone who has the potential to understand her. In Ai, Hikaru sees light. I'm interested to see if this will keep getting reiterated on as we get more scenes of them together.

god the more details we get about Airi's abuse of Hikaru, the more vile she becomes. The money she gives him rings eerily true to the way real life abusers of this nature really do use money and material gifts as a method of control over their victims. And it's also not hard for me to see her as using this to frame things as somehow transactional - to pretend Hikaru has any power in this entirely unbalanced dynamic.

I continue to be impressed with how OnK is portraying Kamiki's abuse. As I mentioned last time, I often find that manga is pretty tasteless and sometimes even downright exploitative and offensive in its portrayals of sexual abuse, framing it in a titillating way for the viewer to gawk at. By contrast, not only is OnK's portrayal a layer removed from the actual events, being in-universe fiction, but it gives us no lurid details to gawk it. We are forced to look only at Hikaru's pain and the emotional reality of the horror and exploitation he's experiencing and the story dares us to flinch and look away. Just like plenty of people do.

I also really appreciate that the story leaves absolutely no room for plausible deniability and just outright calls Airi exactly what she is: a pedophile. I was a little worried with last chapter that there was going to be an element of like 'oh Hikaru is just so cute even an adult woman can't help herself' but once again, the story pulls no punches in calling this abuse what it is and the perpetrator what she is. Harrowing as the material is, I'm glad that it's being handled well thus far and I hope Akasaka doesn't flub it.

that said i have to ask. where in god's name is the intimacy coordinator on this set.

The scene that follows is also very interesting for all the reasons I mentioned above. For Oshi no Ko as a manga, it's clear this material is here to challenge the reader and ask us to see Kamiki as human, to try and empathize with him despite his reprehensible actions. What purpose this monologue serves for the in-universe 15 Year Lie movie is less clear. But in both circumstances, I still have to ask: to what end, exactly?

After all, isn't this a movie overflowing with spite and hate? A script written for Aqua's revenge that will allow him to kill his father? If so, why are we being challenged to empathize with Kamiki? Why did Aqua write a script that portrays his father as a victim? And how, exactly, did he come to such a deep and nuanced understanding of this man he hates so much when it took Ruby three and a half mental breakdowns to start understanding her beloved mother?

This all raises a whole lot of questions about exactly what the final movie is going to turn out like and exactly what purposes it really serves and I'm tentatively excited to get some answers. I'm definitely still more than a little fatigued with the movie arc as a whole and a lot of my biggest issues with it have yet to really be resolved but I'm at least more interested than I have been before about where things are going to go.

Holy crap, no break next week… are we beating the biweekly allegations, gang???