#but they're only subplots
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Yellowjackets is a romcom if you watch it right
#yes there are horrors#and cannibalism#and murder#but they're only subplots#the actual plot is dykes obsessing over each other#and friendship#killing and eating each other is just an allegory for lesbian sex#yellowjackets#romcom#yj
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was hanging out with an acquaintance (i.e. wife's friend's husband with whom we vibed leisurely in a Greek-like fashion in Greece while our wives were attending the conference they came for) and at one point I mentioned I was tired today bc I went to sleep late last night since I accidentally ended up writing until the wee hours you know how it is when you get in the Zone. He went "oh I saw you were writing a story about The Boys on facebook some time ago and I was going to read it but then I was worried it would have spoilers because I haven't seen the show yet so I'm saving it for later"
you were going to read? 🥺 my fanned fikshon? 🥺🥺🥺 do you want ice cream and waffles right tf now it's my treat I love you here's everything valuable I have on me. take the keys to my home
#i have literally only hung out with this dude like twice before and it's always because our wives are doing a thing and we're not invited#but when we do hang out we have the best time talking mad shit about the rich and Game of Thrones and getting excited abt cats together#but this took me OUT my guy not even my family besides the wife reads that shit. actually it's good that they don't lmao but still#i will never stop simping for people who read TTSL or even imply that they're interested. thank you for the nourishment#he also has super interesting ideas re: narrative structure so at that point i was basically that Spiderman meme of Miles looking at Peter#hi do you want to support my hyperfixation and critique my unresolved subplots??? call me
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#sims#ts3#sims 3#photoshoots#character verse#lydia fletcher#jin morita#so I randomly thought they'd vibe and yessss absolutely#they're both chaotic in such a particular way I can't describe#and have some deeper worries too#I think they may initially be kind of at odds and then be fwb to lovers or something#it's funny I remember my old simblr friend wanted to use lydia in her legacy and I think she also was supposed to have this subplot#genuinely a coincidence and a fun one#I didn't know lydia would become such a darling to me but she's my current brainrot#and she appeared out of nowhere she used to be an unimportant old legacy spare and I only included her in the story by accident so to say
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Don't ever treat a customer like that again.
+1 BONUS:
#velvet#galerias velvet#perioddramaedit#velvetedit#miriam giovanelli#llorenç gonzález#patricia márquez#jonás infantes#patricia y jonás#velvet305#northpost#no but why is this so hot#like is it hot all on its own#or is it only hot because i know in the next episode#they're going to be banging in one of the basement rooms#the chemistry between MG and LG is unreal#the way jonás looks at her after she calls him a catch#perfectly played by LG#i will never understand why the show set up this story to go the distance#and then dropped it for lesser subplots#ugh#also i don't even know how many people watch this show anymore#which is weird because it's on netflix#people should watch it...the first two seasons are great#the third one has some good stuff#the fourth is a mess narratively but at least by then you love the characters and want them to be happy
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as much as i like rosabella and daringbella, i can agree that it was a poor writing decision to spotlight her and their potential relationship in epic winter before either had any actual development beforehand.
like i think making daring the beast is a really interesting choice, (it fits well since the reason why the beast was cursed in the first place was due to his vanity and refusal to help others in need,) but they really needed to give rosabella some more characterization moments before plopping her into a romance subplot. before epic winter, she only really featured once or twice in the webisodes and the only charming we got to see her interact with was darling. i can get why people get a little frustrated over daring ending up with her when he already had established chemistry with other characters.
i also feel like rosabella had the potential to be a really cool character, (i always love seeing characters w/ nerdy aesthetics that don't fall into the meek wallflower trope,) but considering the common writing tropes of the time and that eah was already heading towards its twilight years by epic winter, i can't really say i'm surprised that they dropped the ball with her.
#it's a shame really i think they're pretty cute but they're definitely lacking in actual depth#i could also chalk this up to epic winter being the weakest eah special by far#the only things i really liked about it were daringbella and faybelle's lil subplot#welp *tosses rosabella into the pile of underdeveloped characters to potentially hyperfixate on and rewrite*#(right next to ramona and farrah)#sorry to randomly ramble i was just thinking about this and wanted to get out my thoughts#ever after high#rosabella beauty#epic winter#mj.txt
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Chapters: 1/? Relationships: Hagane Kotetsu/Kamizuki Izumo Summary:
At age 25, Kotetsu throws out a question: "Where would I be without you?" Casual, distracted, a rethorical question. However, it leads Izumo into a deep thinking to imagine really where Kotetsu would be without him.
Because it's an interesting question, when asked by Kotetsu. Because while most people could track meeting their best friend in school, at the candy shop, in the park, or somewhere uninteresting where they could have met anyone else and where their lives wouldn't change a whole lot if they had never met, Kotetsu was the only one who could say that if he hadn't met Izumo, he would probably, quite literally, be dead, gone rogue, or still be missing since age three, living alone in the woods, barely verbal, and more an animal than a person.
The story of how Kotetsu at age 7 had been missing and isolated from civilization for so long, he refused to let anyone near him; except the one kid who, after a bad first meeting, started giving him what no one else had offered him before, and what would, in their adult years, transform into something even greater: genuine care, patience, and love.
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*slaps the roof of this fic*
I started a new baby.
#koteizu#kotetsu hagane/izumo kamizuki#kotetsu x izumo#those two guys from naruto#i was meaning to first reblog some nice art but i haven't had the time#i'm not hyperfixated I said as I wrote 45k of fanfic on just how they met#also question: why do we all imagine izumo had awful parents. There's no fic I've read where they're not dead or are just AWFUL.#like not just absent i mean they are MEAN#spoiler much lmao#i mean it's subplot#anyway i hope you enjoy it. If you do let me know even if it's through an anon message! Those are really sweet#I was meaning to write everything only to get this out of my head. I'm scared that posting while I write will kill my motivation#it gets pretty sad when you post something excited for feedback and you get none lmao So I thought --->#I won't get sad from no feedback if I don't even post it! So my plan was I finish writing and post it and then no feedback was no problem#but ic ouldn't help it I got too excited AHHAA#I mean I'm still going to finish the whole thing I only have like 5k to go#I just wanted to avoid the sensation of pointless writing when you get no feedback WHILE writing it#so I got the thrill of writing it all already! Now if there are any readers that will be a wonderful extra#it's always nice to find out there are kotetsu and izumo fans somewhere <3#i feel i'm missing a tag#i talk a lot in the tags for someone with 2 readers and 4 followers#it makes me happy. Sue me. Don't actually sue me it's a saying#if you want to know more of what is coming relatively spoiler free you shoot that question in my inbox mail thing ask a thing thing#why do i always need like 4 hours of gathering courage before posting anything mine
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wait, should gadiel and leena be married? because they're giving me married energy all of a sudden.
#pros: they're headed there anyway so it'd make sense#cons: we don't get a romance subplot from them because that already happened; also the only person who could've married them is west#i kinda can't see west officiating a wedding for anybody
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My only filtering issue (unrelated to wanting tags *excluded*) is when I search *for* a character or pairing tag, but a million fics pop up in which that character is there for 5 seconds or barely does anything in the plot. And the [X]-centric tag isn’t used a whole lot in general, so often I’m combing through fics only to find the character doesn’t do much in the story or are just plot device for other characters. This is more of a problem in fandoms with a huge cast of characters. For cases like that, I wish authors would be a bit more mindful of what character and pairing tags they choose to include because the filter function can’t do anything for that. Obviously I know tags also help readers *exclude* characters or pairings they don’t want to see, but in my opinion, if a character/pairing is barely there, it’s worth it to not tag them at all. Unless the character is one of those “[Name] is their own warning” characters 🤔
see this is one where i wish ao3 would actually change how they do things instead of authors coz like. if u got a character that does feature in a fic and therefore should be tagged for accuracy's sake, what you end up with is this -- where someone searching for a character will find so so so many fics where that character is not the focus.
genuinely i think ao3 should introduce like. main characters/side characters as a separate category. i think that would streamline things
#i'm thinking about fortune's favor where like#okay it's a little bit of an ensemble piece but the main focus characters are#essek artagan molly and caleb#so by conventional wisdon i should only tag those four#but what about the deep conversations he has with jester?#what about the chapters with beau or fjord pov?#what about the entire cree subplot?#they're not the main focus they're not what people would be clicking on the fic for#but it feels disingenuous to not tag them#y'know?#asks#anon#this has been a post#lowkey it's been so long i don't even know what i did tag fortune's favor with
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So soulmates and Love at First sight are tropes that i've Seen a Lot of people deride for being Like shallow or unrealistic or amatonormative and i while i definitely don't disagree with that as a practitioner of the noble Art of aromancy myself i Just have to say i could Not give less of a Shit about any of that. I don't hate These tropes because they're problematic i hate them cause they're boring
#idk man#like with a romance subplot ideally i should be invested in their dynamic and i think why they love each other is an important part of that#doesn't even need to be much hell i'm a sucker for childhood friends dynamics but like#with love at first sight they love each other before there even is a dynamic so it boils down to they love each other just cause#and that is just so uninteresting to me#like at least give me just one scene of them actually bonding or have one fall for the other as they're kicking ass#i'm not even asking for much hers#soulmates imo just don't really add much#like if you really give a shit about romance i can see how the idea that there is someone out there for you can be reassuring#but in romance i don't really see the difference between loving each other because of fate and loving each other without fate to intervene#the only good soulmate romance is lloydven and that is only good because it leans into the parts of soulmates that are just messed up#like the codependency#i feel like your mileage with these tropes will vary depending on whether you find them romantic or not#i don't!#so they do nothing for me
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My billy fics have gotten a sudden influx of attention on ao3 and um it’s making me nervous 👀
#did something happen the last time this happened is when season 4 came out#I do have good news I have the rest of arcade dreams planned out and I officially have the ending#it's depressing....not the ending the ending is happy the fact that it's ending is depressing#I also have everybody wants to rule the world planned out about up until fred's death#the only problem is that I have to write it now which we all know is hard for me#I also didn't expect to have cheryl develop a venca romance subplot but here we are#I will say though I've gotten almost 20 kudos on arcade dreams just since last night and not a single comment love to see it#did you guys like it or is someone sharing the link to make fun of it#the sad thing is I have nothing planned for billy and teddi once arcade dreams is over#I have some au stuff maybe but not main plot line#they'll be in the cheryl and eddie fic since they're involved in the vecna plot but more just cameos#billy hargrove
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why does c*nder and woz have to happen at the same time >:(
#don't get me started on that stupid fucking cheating subplot that lasts EPISODES and ends with cordy nearly DYING#the only good cordelia ships are cangel and coffy there i said it#ok i could be persuaded to ship wildelia but only that one scene where they're locked in a closet#buffyverse liveblog
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give summer a character arc challenge
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#that fucking open your mind episode doesn't count#hate how all summer-centric episodes are based around bizarre premises which have little to do with her as a person#basically every summer-centric episode is claw and hoarder: summer edition#they resolved her 'i need to be popular' subplot without really going into why she wanted to be popular in the first place#like yeah they acknowledge it's due to a lack of self confidence but that lack OBVIOUSLY stems from her feeling unwanted by her parents#and being popular is a way for her to feel desired by other people#it's why she's so jealous of morty's relationship with rick: he obviously prefers morty and treats her as secondary#she wants to feel liked in a different way from how jerry wants to feel liked#jerry wants to feel needed without having to put in the effort to have something about him which other people need#he wants to be the archetypal 50s father who gives good advice and is respected by his family but doesn't want to or care to put in the work#he wants to be seen as a good person while making the choices he always has: the ones which benefit him specifically#he feels like the world owes him something for existing and he's being deprived of that something#summer meanwhile was neglected as a child due to growing up with parents who were in a dysfunctional if not straight-up unhappy marriage#she was an unplanned teenage pregnancy and was only born because her parents had a flat tire on the way to the abortion clinic#and her father took advantage of this setback and talked her mother out of getting an abortion#while she was unaware of the fact she was nearly aborted she has clearly long been aware of the fact she was an accidenf#in the comics beth lectures her about using protection on prom night and god.#imagine your mother telling you not to make the same mistake which saddled her with you#beth is a distant parent which led to summer lacking confidence in herself#her need to be liked stems from a lack of emotional support growing up#but like. they never do anything with this.#yeah she bullies her friend to fit in and changes her body to make boys like her more#but those are both like. the subplot of the subplot of their respective episodes#like i love the body changing subplot especially how it establishes beth's involvement in summer's mental state#like beth look at your daughter and see how insecure she is and recognize this is literally your doing#but the episode definitely makes it mostly about beth's inability to let others help her because of her daddy issues#i'd love it if they did summer subplots where she joins clubs and groups for an episode#like have her join a parody of the scooby gang and have her discover they're all faking it and the talking goose is a soviet spy or smth
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Obligatory and quite pertinent
#but i will be specific (read: essay incoming)#for the purposes of the poll the worst is tauriel/kili (and tauriel's entire existence tbh) which is part of the key offense:#the movies tried to make the story more epic than it is. unlike lotr the hobbit is a very personal narrative.#it follows one small person with a small part to play in a conflict that (in the grand scheme of the world) is also fairly small.#bilbo isn't a great warrior or a legendary hero or the prophesied savior of middle-earth. he's just what the title says: a hobbit.#that's not to say he's uninteresting or unimportant of course#but it does mean that that he is intentionally rather ordinary and his story more closely resembles a fairy tale rather than an epic legend#(which is fitting since the hobbit was originally a bedtime story for tolkien's children)#consider: bilbo doesn't overcome challenges by being the strongest fighter or the darling of fate or even by just enduring (like frodo)#his most important assets are his wits his friends and his spirit (the ring itself is less important than his plans using it)#let's focus on the friends:#bilbo himself is almost never the one to defeat the company's enemies. that honor goes chiefly to gandalf and bard.#thorin and company are more epic characters than bilbo (given the nature of their quest) but still not on the scale of (eg) aragorn.#the cast of secondary characters in the hobbit is correspondingly smaller than in lotr (and they're generally less powerful)#but most importantly we only see them when and how bilbo sees them. the focus never shifts onto them.#in lotr the narrative tracks different members of the fellowship in turn but the hobbit is specifically bilbo's memoir.#adding more (and more powerful) characters and subplots about them pulls the story away from its essence as bilbo's experience.#he doesn't know much about the world outside the shire yet. he and the readers basically discover it together and the scope is narrow.#trying to turn the hobbit into a grand history comprised of many peoples' story arcs completely undermines the intended experience.#bilbo titles his work “there and back again: a hobbit's journey” and that is exactly what it should be#no more no less.#also having an elf/dwarf relationship is stupid and poorly handled given the lore about the fate of the different races after death.#there. i said it. i could expand on that too but it's getting late here. good night.#the hobbit#tolkien#peter jackson
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Thinking about a crack SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a horse.
Luckily he is not a normal horse, no! He is a spiritual stallion, a character that was mainly a joke about the novel's genre in PIDW, originally bred on Cang Qiong's beast tamer peak but not actually encountered until Luo Binghe's "raze cultivation society to the ground" phase. At which point there was a subplot about him finding the stallion and letting it loose to run free, as like, an allegorical reference. Occasionally Binghe would find other horses across the years that were obviously descended from that one, as more jokes, until Airplane forgot about the reference and never brought it up again.
Shen Yuan, of course, was always Big Mad that Binghe never got to actually ride this super magical mystical horse, and never got the horsegirl arc he deserved! Where is the man's companion animal? How can someone with nine billion wives and even more nameless underlings be fated for a life of perpetual loneliness??
Naturally, the first thing Shen Yuan does upon figuring out that he's this magic horse is break out of the beast peak and make for Qing Jing. He's not necessarily planning to go bond with the protagonist or anything, but he's not particularly keen to live out his fate as some feral horse that fucks other horses either, and he's extremely valuable so it's unlikely anyone will kill him even if they catch him again. So, might as well take the opportunity to clap eyes on his favorite character before he's doomed to a life of eating hay and whatever, right?
Horse SY manages to arrive on Qing Jing Peak right before the start of the skinner mission, though, just as Ming Fan is telling Luo Binghe that there aren't enough horses. Ning Yingying points out SY and is all oh look, one of the stable hands must have realized the error and brought another, and everyone else is kind of like "uh that is... not a normal horse...?" but then Shen Qingqiu gets impatient and snaps at them to get a move on, and fear of their mercurial shizun overrides everything else to the point where Binghe just clambers desperately onto this mystical saddle-free horse.
Airplane borrowed kelpies for his demon beasts at some point and they are pretty common, so it occurs to Luo Binghe only after he's climbed onto the strange and definitely not normal Horse SY that he might be on the verge of getting carried off and drowned. But SY just kind of rolls with it, and falls into line with the other horses.
Hey, it's an excuse to leave the sect! And practice doing horse stuff! And also, he's not going to buck Luo Binghe off of his back!
Of course as it happens, the specific kind of magical horse that Shen Yuan is comes with a specially bred-for trait where they only bond to one rider. They're usually bred for like, kings and emperors and other highly important figures as status symbols, like magical companion animals but ones with perfectly mundane utilities. He's also got Shadowfax-like stamina and speed, meaning that Airplane can treat this kind of horse as interchangeable with a motorbike, and of course the capacity to cultivate. Which means that when the party finally arrives at their destination, everyone suddenly realizes that Luo Binghe has unwittingly bonded with a horse that's worth a fortune and won't ever let anyone else ride it now.
Shen Qingqiu flips his shit, Shen Yuan bites Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe hyperventilates, Ning Yingying gets kidnapped, and the situation basically resolves with Shen Yuan kicking the shit out of the skinner demon in defense of his new BFF the baby protagonist.
Well if he's going to end up letting anyone ride him for the rest of his life, Luo Binghe would be his first choice.
Anyway they get back and Shen Qingqiu is still spitting mad and offers Luo Binghe's head on a platter to the lord of the beast peak, but Beast Peak's people are actually kind of pleased. Like sure it's a little inconvenient, because Luo Binghe is a Qing Jing disciple and not one of theirs, but they were honestly beginning to worry that this stallion wouldn't bond with anyone! It's really hard to manage them when they don't! And SY in particular comes from a long and illustrious lineage that has nearly died out a few times, so they were never planning to sell him off even for a high price anyway. With a rider chosen, the odds of them getting him to cooperate for breeding purposes are a lot higher, plus it will be much easier to take care of him now! Though they will be taking Shen Qingqiu up on his offer of Luo Binghe's time, since "punishment" for this transgression will involve splitting his time between the peaks in order to help take care of SY (all the beast peak disciples are super relieved, apparently before Shen Yuan transmigrated, the horsey original goods was extremely prone to biting and kicking...)
Shen Qingqiu basically tells Luo Binghe not to bother coming back, which fills Binghe with despair, but he gets over it eventually. The beast peak is nice! They give him a cultivation manual as well, in order to help him understand what they do, and it seems that Binghe can understand it a lot better than his QJP one. The peak lord gives him permission to use the dorms as well, since there will probably be times when he has to stay overnight, and no one says much about it when Binghe basically moves in full time. On the books he's still a Qing Jing disciple, but functionally he's a transfer student now. He even sits in on classes and lectures, and a lot of the peak are just under the impression that he was transferred over to their peak in full.
Shen Yuan considers this a big improvement, and expects Luo Binghe to enjoy running around with all the pretty girls on the peak. But Binghe mostly seems to spend his time with him, in fact, asking questions upon questions not only about Shen Yuan's breed, but about his specific background and lineage. The beast peak is overall pretty nice, although sadly it's not full of cool monsters and companion animals as Shen Yuan would have hoped. Mostly the peak specializes in the cultivation world's equivalent of livestock and work animals, training beasts like spirit eagles and horses like himself, and raising animals prized for their meat, organs, bones, or other parts for medicinal, alchemical, or culinary ingredients, or sometimes components for weapons or other spiritual tools. They work the most closely with Qian Cao, Wan Jian, and An Ding.
Being a horse is honestly kind of boring for Shen Yuan, although running is fun, and he at least gets plenty of time to work on his cultivation.
By the time Sha Hualing's invasion happens, he's gotten pretty comfortable in his new state of affairs. Binghe has even figured out that he likes being read to, and has started reading aloud to him from various texts in the evenings! So far no good novels, or even bad trashy novels, but it's better than nothing!
Binghe also takes him for a lot of rides around the peaks (not Qing Jing) which is how they end up caught on Qiong Ding when the rainbow bridge goes down. When Shen Qingqiu tells Luo Binghe to fight, Binghe doesn't even have a weapon at hand.
Actually, he doesn't have a sword at hand.
Turns out having your magical horse kick a demon to death is still pretty effective!
Shen Yuan even manages to avoid getting poisoned too. Rather, Elder Hammer threatens to poison him and Luo Binghe charges at him shouting "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!" and etc, and does get nicked by the thorns, but only Binghe and Shen Yuan notice and of course the poison doesn't work on Binghe, congrats for unlocking a new hint as to Luo Binghe's mysterious origins!
Yes, Horse SY shows up to help Binghe in the Dream Demon event. He still looks like a horse for it, but it also marks the first time he's able to speak to Luo Binghe, which successfully distracts Luo Binghe from a lot of the tormenting visions of his past because talking magic horse friend has a way of doing that.
So the Dream Demon is like, that's not a normal horse, and Luo Binghe is all "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!" and Shen Yuan gets knocked out of the dream as usual. Wakes up to Luo Binghe rushing to his stall to check on him and prepare him some nice warm congee and double-check that he can't talk for reals (only in dreams for now, alas).
Anyway Luo Binghe has no reason to hide his demonic cultivation practice from his horse, so Shen Yuan gets to sit in on it as Binghe tries to put Meng Mo's teachings into practice, which he finds super cool. Binghe's normal cultivation also progresses quite a bit, but he's still very much disadvantaged there because the beat peak is only giving him like, half-assed guest disciple status lessons, no personal one-and-one tutelage, and he's unofficially banned from Qing Jing and wouldn't get any help there anyway (apart from Ning Yingying). The beast peak lord isn't really his shizun and Shen Qingqiu isn't going to take Binghe to do things like claim a sword from Wan Jian, either.
Luckily, Binghe can now confer with his horse in his dreams! Shen Yuan has such helpful ideas as compelling various hall masters and combat teachers to dream about their lessons, so that Binghe can insert himself into the form of their students and supplement his tutelage with nighttime training from all around the sect. And also stealing some blank documents from An Ding and forging paperwork to turn over to Wan Jian to make it look like Binghe has permission to claim a spiritual sword without Shen Qingqiu's approval.
What a way to pass the time before the Immortal Alliance Conference!
Horse Shen Yuan would like very much to just carry Luo Binghe away in the opposite direction, thank you, but he does have a system and it is still holding a metaphorical gun to his head about this. Still, there's no force in the world that could keep Shen Yuan in his stable when shit starts to go down, or that could stop him from kicking the snot out of Shen Qingqiu when he tries to throw Binghe into the Abyss. (Binghe's thoughts on the fight: "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!")
However, Binghe does still get thrown down, and Horse SY runs off whilst weeping crystalline tears of dismay as his mane whips in the wind, imagining a future where a blackened Luo Binghe returns for his revenge arc and symbolically sends his beloved horsie companion away forever to go frolic or some shit, which Shen Yuan is not interested in!
But what can he do? By the time Binghe gets out of the Abyss, his need for a horse will be decidedly minimal. It already went down a bunch when he finally got Zheng Yang (that Binghe somehow almost never flew anywhere on, surely for reasons unrelated to his bond with SY), and with Xin Mo and all his OP talents, even if he did keep Shen Yuan, wouldn't he become as much of a useless background character as countless auxiliary wives in his harem?
No! He won't stand for it! There has to be a way for him to convince even blackened Binghe that Shen Yuan is still the best ride in town!
Luckily, Shen Yuan knows where there are some power-ups that might be able to help him. While he won't touch anything that would be vital for the protagonist, he's more flexible on screwing over random future harem members or side characters, especially when it wouldn't even really harm them all that much. So while Binghe is going through his gauntlet of horrors in the Abyss, Shen Yuan embarks on his own level-up quest to dramatically increase his cultivation, and become more capable of keeping up with Binghe.
When this leads to Shen Yuan being able to take on a human form, he gets really excited, but that's mostly for personal comfort reasons. He can finally hold books again! And talk to people! Who cares if he looks like someone's ponysona gijinka, he can walk over to a stall and order meat buns!
Unicorn form is next, and it's... meh? Mostly it's a boost in his cultivation. The horn looks fun but doesn't really do much.
When he upgrades to being able to take on a pegasus form, now that's really cool. He can fly now! Not only is it crazy good fun, but it also increases his mobility exponentially. Surely riding a flying horse would be more comfortable than balancing on a sword, too?
But that's not enough for his actual goal, he needs to keep going until he finally finds the right bullshit mythical item that will do what he hopes:
Turn him into a dragon!
Unfortunately said bullshit item is in the demon realms, which are a fairly difficult place to navigate as either a horse or a human. Beefing up for the trip takes Shen Yuan just about two years, and requires all of his other upgrades. But he does it, he gets to the demon realms, eats the creatively named Dragon Fruit Plant, and... gets... stuck???
In his new dragon form???
WTF this didn't happen to the random ox that Luo Binghe fed the fruit to in order to create a suitable beast of burden to impress the husband of Wife No.666! Although, thinking about it, maybe it did because it wasn't like the ox ever turned back into an ox afterwards. But Shen Yuan just figured that was because it was a simple beast of burden and saw becoming a dragon as an overall upgrade, why go back? He honestly hadn't really thought about it!
Cue Luo Binghe getting out of the Abyss only to shortly find that a random dragon is following him around. Maybe that just happens here? It doesn't attack him, at least, and he has no time to deal with it (or to sleep) because his first order of business is establishing enough of a foothold in the demon realms to regain access to the human ones, and find out what happened to his horse. And then kill Shen Qingqiu. In that order.
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain#scum villain's self saving system#long post#bonus: in dreams shen yuan often refers to luo binghe finding a herd of wives as interchangeable with his ideas of success#binghe assumes this is because shen yuan is a literal stallion#shen yuan makes reference at one point to tolerating it if binghe needs to pull a girl up into his saddle#sy has of course been thinking about it and his magical one-rider-only horse aversions to the idea#but he's pretty sure he could control the impulse to knock her off and trample her for binghe's sake#and also because that would probably cost him good horsie privileges since binghe's wives come first etc etc#meanwhile binghe would probably sooner stab someone than let her ride shen yuan with him#the whole idea is so off-putting to him he's like if I encounter a damsel in distress with two broken legs she can drag herself home :)
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jack black. and lizzo. in my mandalorian. what the fuck is happening to my nature
#the mandalorian#the mandalorian spoilers#season 3 really is the ''and then'' season#din pisses off some space pirates and then he needs to go for a swim and then bo katan joins him for a swim and then we get an entire#episode about ex-imperials and then bo katan joins the secret cult and then grogu does a backflip and then a child gets kidnapped and then#bo katan gets a hot girl mission and then they go on some clown circus planet and then jack black and lizzo are there#i love jack black!! i love lizzo!! i love star wars!! i don't love this season though ncjcjcn what the fuck is going ON#i'm only 11 minutes in tho this episode has half an hour to convince me that it has a Point. hopes are pretty knee-high at the moment :/#AND THEN THEY GO ON A SPACE POLICE CRIME SCENE AND SPACE ROBOT MORGUE AND TAKE ROBOT BLOOD SAMPLES.#BECAUSE ROBOTS ARE AFRAID OF HUMANS TAKING THEIR JOBS. DO YOU REALIZE THIS INCREDIBLY DELICATE METAPHOR WE HAVE GOING ON HERE#this subplot is so Stupid????? i completely forgoKNIGHT GROGU?????? WHATTHE. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY#WHAT IS THIS#GROGU WENT TO A DAYCARE CHEATED IN SPACE CROQUET AND GOT A KNIGHTHOOD OUT OF IT. OKAY#they're gonna have an action scene? i'm sorry i can't compute yhis right now knight grogu. im.#okay this episode happened. moving on
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i'm already on series 3 of men behaving badly and still i am waiting for just one episode that passes the bechdel test
#like. it's a funny enough show and (MOST) of the humour hasn't aged TOO badly#but i need more of dorothy & deborah ganging up against the guys or just having a girl's day out just the two of them! or their own subplot#it's like they only exist to further the guy's subplots and whenever they do get together they're always just discussing them#but i guess that's the problem with watching a show from 30 years ago#also you really get the sense that the bechdel test was invented specifically with shows like that in mind. probably also in the 90s
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