#but they were raised together from babies. They're still brothers

[thefairywithboots]

I just love that because of Loki's needy personality, it's so easy to ship him with anyone. Sylki and Lokius shippers at each other's throats on here, but meanwhile, I just do not care because I want my baby to be happy and loved. 🥺

[old-fandom]

Based off of that one Teen!Stancest + Carla threesome comic where Stanford is fucking Stanley from behind and staring daggers at Carla.

Mystery Trio scenario. Stanford has always loved Stanley, even after the whole falling out bit. They had something when they were teens but it was nothing defined, nothing concrete. They reconnect and Stanford asks Stanley to come live with him and Fiddleford in Gravity Falls. He accepts. Stanford ends up learning all of the horrible things Stanley has endured and refocuses all of his grief and shame into overprotectiveness and slight possessive behavior. Stanford wants to rekindle what they once had but has no idea how to broach the topic back to Stanley, or if he even wants that at all.

What he is certain of is that he doesn't like the way Fiddleford eyes up his brother when they're out researching. It was fine back in college when Fiddleford would eye him, fool around with him, flirt and grope him. But Stanley, his twin, his other half, his baby brother? (When did I start referring to Stanley as my baby brother?) He didn't want anyone else to have him. No one could treat him the way he needed to be treated. He was special, he was unique, he was delicate, he was Stanford's!

Stanford would never harm Fiddleford, dear god no. That is his best friend and a damn good mechanic and scientist. He loves Fiddleford very much. He just wishes he could understand that Stanley was completely and utterly off limits. He didn't mind their friendship, in fact, he encouraged it. But those lingering touches, those cheeky lines, those fluttering eyes. Those needed to come to a stop. Immediately.

Fiddleford is openly attracted to both twins and one day over drinks, asks if they ever had a threesome before. Stanley tells them they have with a girl back in high school. Stanford tightens his grip on his beer bottle while Stan regals Fiddleford of the escapades. Afterwards, Fiddleford brings up the idea that if they ever wanted to have another, he'd be willing to be the third. After much deliberation, they agree. Stanford sees this as a way to finally reclaim the relationship he had with Stanley while also warning Fiddleford not to meddle with his Stanley.

So, the day comes, and they the boys find themselves in a very similar position as they used for Carla. Stanley fucking into Fiddleford, Fiddleford on his back looking up, Stanford behind and fucking into Stanley. Fiddleford is having a great time. He feels both of them rocket into him and soon he finds himself finishing. Soon he feels Stanley following, but Ford keeps going. In his haze, he watches Stanford rail into Stanley, who in turn is still into Fiddleford. Stanford looks different, methodical, possessive, angry. He's fucking Stanley with a punishing speed, one making him cross his eyes. Fiddleford is watching between his own overstimulation and bewilderment. He can't look away, especially not with how Stanford refuses to let go of his eyesight, boring into him. Finally Stanford cums, holding Stanley close. They all pass out in bed together shortly afterwards.

Fiddleford wakes up in the night. He's naked and content. Next to him, Stanley is laying on his side, with Stanford wrapping around from behind. They're snoring in unison. He leaves them be to grab some water and something to eat in the kitchen. He cant help but think back to way Stanford fucked into Stanley, how Stanford stared at him. It was honestly a bit scary. He's down there longer than he thought he was because half way up the stairs, he hears something coming from his room. He tip toes and peeks inside, an awful, dreadful feeling dancing around his skin. Like a stranger trespassing into someone else's home.

Stanley i still on his side, whimpering softly as Stanford is whispering in his ear and leaving kisses around the side of his head. Stanford has one of Stanley's leg raises, softly pushing into him. Stanford has it placed on his own hip, while is hand is rubbing Stanley's cock. Stanley looks half asleep, moaning softly with each thrust. He's particularly noisy when Stanford sucks a hickey on his neck in a spot where Stanley can't hide it. Stanford's other hand was cradling the side of Stanley's head with his bicep, the bicep that Stanley feel asleep on. Those fingers are raking through his hair, keeping him lulled. Fiddleford watches as Stanley finally turns his head and slots his mouth with Stanford's. He feels like an awful intruder, that this is more than just some taboo sex act, more than a silly request from some horned up country boy about being shared between twins. Fiddleford leaves before he can watch them finish. He waits it out downstairs until he knows there's no more noises from the room.

Fiddleford tiptoes back into bed, now slightly warmer than he left it. Stanley has turned around, wrapped around Stanford's body, face tucked contently between Stanford's neck and the pillow. Stanford has a protective hold of him, one hand on his back and another in his hair. Fiddleford almost jumps out of his skin when Stanford addresses him.

"F."

"Y-Yeah, Stanford?"

"Don't ever make another move on Stanley again."

Fiddleford didn't need to hear the unsaid, "or else..." He nodded his head and shut his eyes.

"Goodnight, F."

"Night, Stanford."

So yeah anyway, Mystery Trio with possessive and overprotective Stanford over Stanley. Fiddleford being traumatized that his boss/best friend. It's a good time around. Especially when Stanford becomes more overtly affectionate with Stanley in the house, keeping just one eye out on Fiddleford.

[loving-family-poll]

2nd Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 1

Propaganda under the cut:

Buck/Maddie:

The first time we see Maddie, Buck is inadvertently trying to get into the shower with her, which in my opinion really sets the tone. They're siblings who grew up with emotionally neglectful parents, extremely entwined and dependent on each other until Maddie leaves home for an abusive marriage. Unaware of the abuse but knowing they're both miserable in their current lives, Buck asks Maddie to run away with him. She agrees to go with him, until her husband finds out and assaults her. Still unaware and feeling betrayed by her change of heart, Buck nevertheless writes to her after he leaves on his own. He keeps up the correspondence for three years even though she never writes back. And when Maddie finally makes the decision to leave, explicitly because her brother never gave up on her, the first thing she does is show up on his doorstep. (Or, to be more specific, in his shower). Some have described their relationship as "wholesome" and "heart warming" but personally I think the sweeping romance of this backstory gives them a pass to get a little freaky with each other.

Maddie and Buck grow up close, thier parents completely closed off from them but especially from Buck. Buck finds out later in life that they had a brother Daniel who he was made to be a savior child for. It didn't work and Daniel died and the Buckley parents pretended he didn't exist, forcing Maddie to do the same. Maddie and Buck mention several times that it was them vs the world and that the Buckley parents weren't bad people just bad parents. Maddie especially is parentified and spent most of thier childhood raising Buck. Buck is the only Buckley who goes to Maddie wedding to her eventual husband who is abusive. When we meet Maddie in the series she's on the run from Doug. Doug does actually end up kidnapping Maddie and its Buck who goes after her and rescues her.

Maddie stayed with her abusive husband to save Buck from his wrath, and even though Buck didn't know that, he sent her postcards documenting his journey. And when Maddie ran out on her partner and child, Buck kept her secret.

3 separate flirty moments (shower introduction, cockring innuendo and bisexual coming out), clutching at each other covered in blood, secret pinky promises, and over 7 seasons they show over and over that they know one another best out of everyone.

Jonas/Martha:

what if we were relatives thanks to a time paradox, and also loved each other so much we tried to destroy the timeline. and also died for/because of each other

They are So Much in every way. They love each other so much but they are so tragic. Jonas was willing to erase himself from existence if it meant Martha could be happy again (he did not succeed, but still). They’re able to recognize older versions of each other who have time-traveled back. Jonas literally BREAKS TIME AND SPACE to get back to Martha’s time and save her life. Meanwhile, in another timeline, a Martha who never knew Jonas still sleeps with him within a week of their meeting. The baby they have is called The Origin (real name on the birth certificate), and he’s literally described as the most important baby in the universe. Martha CAUSES THE APOCALYPSE so she and Jonas can have this baby. They have an in-world cult dedicated to the two of them being together. They kill each other in one timeline. And at the end of it all, when they’ve become mortal enemies and lived through their own separate time loops, they just hold hands so they can die old and grey together.

I would like everyone to know that they LITERALLY call themselves Adam and Eve and they have a giant cathedral dedicated to them with Adam and Eve paintings on the walls. and their descendants AND ancestors literally come to worship them there bc they believe they will bring paradise on earth. Beginning and end, alpha and omega, two sides of the infinity sign come together. and for the incest Martha is Jonas’ aunt

“You and I are perfect together. Never forget that.” Jonas would never guess that his teenage crush would turn out to be his aunt. Or that their love and inability to let go of one another would cause them both to lose everyone they’ve ever loved, trap them in a time loop unable to change any of the tragedy that befalls them and their child, and trigger the literal apocalypse. But, hey, life is unpredictable.

[aakeysmash]

christmas shopping, matching pajamas and family discounts

college!sukuna masterlist

"Why are we here again?" college!sukuna huffs from next to you for the umpteenth time.

"Stop acting like a little bitch. You asked me that 20 seconds ago, Yuuji is acting better than you," you hiss out, glaring at him. It's true though: the kid is trotting right in front of you two, not a care in the world, while his caretaker is currently dragging his feet on the pavement you're walking on.

"And you still didn't answer, fucker," he barks back, grimacing, kicking a little rock.

"Yes, I fucking did! I told you this morning we were going Christmas shopping! You never listen to me," you start, jutting your lip out and trying to play the victim. You know he hates it when you do it. "Maybe I should tell Yuuji how his big brother hates the idea of going shopping with him," you provoke, whispering so that only you and him know what you're talking about. He scoffs, offended.

"Liar. Don't you fucking dare-"

"Are you two fighting again?" whines Yuuji, turning around and pouting. You and Sukuna glance at each other before shaking your head at the same moment.

"No, we're getting along so well," you force yourself to smile.

"Yeah, she said she's so glad I'm accompanying her. Matter of fact, she said she's going to offer us lunch," Sukuna continues, an evil glint in his eyes when he hears you gasp.

"I did not-"

"Really?! Yippie!" screams Yuuji, coming to hug you violently. You stumble back, gritting your teeth, and reciprocate the hug while narrowing your eyes at the grinning tattooed man in front of you. He knows you're not able to say no to his brother.

When Yuuji runs inside the mall, you push Sukuna's shoulder, mumbling "bitch". He just chuckles, then boldly gets you close by placing one open hand on your lower back. You know he's just going to tease you, so you put both hands on his chest to fight back, trying to put some distance between you two, but the place is crowded and everyone is looking at you. A woman passes by you and looks at you weirdly, so you stop wriggling in his grasp, and he delicately pushes you even closer. You're chest to chest, his breath fanning over your features, grin ever present on his face, enjoying how you look pissed out of your mind. From the outside, it looks like you're hugging each other, when in reality he just puts his mouth on your ear to utter "Never play with me, baby. I know how to drive you mad," then frees you and walks behind Yuuji with his hands in his pockets, not turning back to see if you're following him or not. You're seething.

"Oh my God, Yuuji, look at these!" you swoon over a pair of pajama pants. They're a soft brown, decorated with little green Christmas' trees and little reindeers, a bright red Merry Christmas! on both knees.

"It's a set!" squeals the kid next to you, grabbing the sweater right on top of the piece of cloth you have in your hands. You both notice at the same time that the set comes both in adults' and kids' sizes. "Can we take it?" he asks you looking up, puppy eyes activated. Your heartstrings are pulled so tight you feel like you could implode if you look at his face for a second longer.

"Of course we can, I thought it was obvious," you say excitedly, grabbing his hands and jumping up and down with him in a circle while he laughs, smile on full display and brown eyes squeezed shut happily.

Sukuna, who has kept watching his phone for the majority of the time you've been inside the mall, raises his gaze when he hears your laugh mingled with his brother's. If you had been looking at him in that instant, you would've seen the brief soft glimpse that passed on his whole face when he took in how happy you both looked together. When you turn around, though, he's already schooled his features to appear bored.

"Are we done?" he yawns.

"Would you like to match with us?" you ask him, at the same time. You scowl and he scoffs.

"Hell no, girl. I'm not with whatever stupid shit y'all are doing," he says, trying to act tougher than what he actually feels like. Seeing you being kind to the only person in the world who shares 100% of his genes makes him feel things he doesn't want to acknowledge right now.

"You're a party pooper, 'Kuna," Yuuji mumbles, frowning. "Can we still match? I really want us to match," he adds, shily, looking at you. You're shocked. His cheeks are getting redder the more you gawk at him. "Sorry, you can say no-"

Your kiss on his cheek resonates all around the ally you're currently staying in. "Of course I want to match with you. We don't need your evil brother, Yuuji. Let's go try them on," you sweetly say, taking his hand and walking away from Sukuna, not before flipping him off. Yuuji is so giddy that he follows you like he's walking on clouds, his face slightly hurting from how hard he's cheesing.

Sukuna just stands there, baffled and even a little offended. He stiffens, noticing he still has his phone in his hands. He's so fast with it he's the first to remain shocked by his own actions: he hears the click of his camera and looks at the pic he's just taken, feeling his chest heavier than it's ever been. It's a beautifully taken pic, where you and Yuuji are squinting at each other, hand in hand, laughing. He turns off his screen, shakes his head and catches up to you. You're going to give him a headache if you continue being like this. Or a heart attack. Or both.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" the nice old lady at the checkout says.

"Hi, we'd like to take these two pieces," you kindly respond, handing her the pajamas you and Yuuji just tried on.

"Let me see... oh, we actually have a family discount on this! Is the daddy not going to take anything?" she innocently asks, looking over at your older roommate.

"Yo, I'm not his-"

Your eyes almost fall out of your sockets. "Ah ah ah! Silly us! We forgot his one! Just give me a second," you interrupt a scowling Sukuna, covering his mouth with your hand before he can finish his sentence, dragging him away. Yuuji gives the old lady a confused look, to which she responds with "Young parents these days," shaking her head.

"You're going to take the fucking matching set, Sukuna, and you're going to like it," you seethe, still dragging him away (well, it's more like he's letting you drag him away). You hear how he's trying to talk behind your hand. "Don't piss me off. I'm going to pay less to get more, and you're going to listen to me. Go." You ignore him and he raises one eyebrow, looking you up and down, before biting your fingers. You yelp and let him go, scowling. "I said go! And act like you care about me when we get there, we're a family until the discount tells us so!"

"Okay, ma'am," he grins down to you, wiping his saliva from the corner of his mouth with a slow movement, his gaze lingering a bit too much on the way you're panting.

"Move! Take your size and let's go! Yuuji is waiting for us!" you push him, rushing back to the cashier.

"Oh, you were really fast. I thought you were going to argue with the way you rushed away," she says when she sees you come back, surprised. You nervously chuckle, telling her how you were already planning on buying one for Sukuna, you just forgot. "That would be 20.99$."

While you're swiping your card, you suddenly feel engulfed by heat. Sukuna positions his hands on your waist, giving you a half hug from behind while simultaneously giving his best confident grin to the old lady in front of him.

"Yeah. I just like when she bosses me around a bit, if you know what I mean," he says, sultry, winking at the cashier who is chuckling behind her hand, embarrassed, waving him away.

What the fuck? You initially try not to stiffen, then relax and give her a shy smile, and he squeezes you a bit closer. You melt on his chest, feeling hotter than you've felt all day. He's so comfortable. He brushes his lips near your ear and makes sure you hear the way his raspy voice is all around you. "And I do, baby. I really do."

[palskippah]

Hi! I give you this Stobotnik fankid I made a while ago :'y

She's Sofia --or Ivania or some other name ending in 'ia'-- Robotnik (coolest last name)

It's a compilation and also there's some Stone for practice bc I have no idea how to draw him pipipi Eggman is easier bc it's just his Sonic Boom design (I love it)

Some stuff about this universe under the cut!

(Btw if there's incongruencies is bc I can't make up my mind about the facts whwhw)

-Robotnik and Stone are married, very much married. Cartoon villains in love, I love that for them.

-["MARTHA I'M COMING HOME SWEETIE-"] Mixing up the movie things and the whatever's going on in the Sonic Boom, so Robotnik was gone for eight months and when he's back she's already born.

>Also the drawing is a reference to Icarly's "Whatcha got there?" "A smoothie" but she was clearly asking about the ostrich Spencer brought with him.

>Alternatively, Eggman's there and they go through the journey together yippiee. Choosing names, making evil parenting plans and whatever, being their idiot selves.

(After celebrating because they're good news actually) "I want a boy or a girl-" (Eggman) "Yeah me too." (Stone) "-and we should name them a single, worth of remembering name! Like... Eggette for a girl and Eggson for a boy." "I'm not letting you name them any of that, doctor..." "Okay, then how about Beyonce for a girl and-"

>They wouldn't have kids (?? maybe? I don't really know, I only know sonic boom and the movie :'U)- but she was probably the 1% the birth control warns you about. Also, Stobotnik got a very active seggsual life, and I'm imagining she came to be from a quickie over the desk, why not.

>Helpful diagram of Eggman + Stone kissing and then = baby. They were in work hours.

-In the one where he comes back and the baby's already there, Eggman does a terrible job as a father the few first months, but then he gets the hang of it and it's not so bad.

>He gets projectile vomited on and he's immediately asking to get an abortion (the baby's already born) (he didn't give birth to her), Stone says no anyways.

>"Surprisingly, I'm a good father" he thinks one day and it's because he's still very much an orphan here with no frame of comparation or example aside from researching the matter.

-In the one where they wait for her together, he does all the research necessary in all those months, absolutely refusing in doing an average job in that matter, he's the great Ivo Robotnik c'mon. He excels at anything and he'll be a great father (jk he's terrified of fucking up).

-The Stobotnik family is an evil but loving family, like the bears in Puss in Boots whwh criminal family✨

-For the funny of it, Sonic and Eggman got a sort of relationship like in Sonic Boom, so sometime maybe our favorite boy, Tails and Knuckles had to look after their child.

-Also since Knuckles broke Stone's and Robotnik's hands with their handshake, let's have him handle the baby with the most careful grip ever, just to demonstrate that he didn't have to grab their hands that hard aksdjask

-She's a big fan of Sonic and friends (Sonic the Hedgehog, not Sonic Wachowski, the second guy hadn't done even half the things she admires him for, but no one has the heart to tell her when she's a kid). Has a bunch of merch and all the comics of Sonic the Hedgehog.

>When she's a teenager she proudly uses her Sonic backpack in the same way Deadpool uses his Hello Kitty backpack.

-BTW Sonic, Knuckles and Tails are all brothers and Maddie and Tom's kids bc that's the best idea ever made.

-ALSO I'm definitely gonna draw that scene where Knuckles was about to put the baby in the blender and Sonic shouts THE CHILI DOG NOT THE BABY. Some day, you'll see pipipi.

-SAGE was created for various reasons, to be her sister (since she wouldn't stop asking for one but neither Stone nor Robotnik were willing in raising another human kid, thanks very much), to protect her, and also to answer the tedious "why?" questions that neither father had the patience for (A+ parenting right there). Maybe she was used for the original purpose too idk (I don't know that sonic game where she debuts).

>The child's delighted about having a sister, then she grows up and SAGE doesn't, so she has a little sister.

>METAL SONIC TOO MAYBE? Perfect lil american family, the two happily married parents and their three kids (one human girl, an IA and a robot clone of their alien enemy).

-On her early months she was called Pebble, because she really was a mini Stone, Robotnik went along with it (bc he also looked at her and only saw his husband whw) until she was a little older and they started calling her by her name.

>Alternatively, since Eggman was gone, Stone waited for him to return in hopes of choosing together a name for their child, and Pebble worked as a placeholder since she was just a bebi.

>Alternatively alternatively, Eggman came up with the nickname. ROCK-ONNAISSANCE 🗣️ also yeah I know he was going crazy from the mushroom stuff, but he's not above making silly puns, he's a dad now and also he's naturally silly.

(NGL I really gotta make up my mind about how it all happened ajsdkad)

-She's a spoiled kid and also a little menace, unintentionally evil, she can't help it.

>Good-hearted too sometimes, she loves Sage and does her best to protect her back (it's not necessary but it's appreciated anyways).

-Robotnik calls himself 'daddy' way too much in the live-action movies to ignore it, so he's daddy and Stone's dad (dada when she was younger).

>"These are my daddies!" (points to what's clearly two villains -but also good fathers-)

-She has Robotnik's eyes but as big as Stone's. They're the lethal-est sad puppy eyes ever (they work wonders on both parents and other people) (both men got beautiful dark brown eyes with visible eyelashes fight me).

>Look at Eggman's silly eyelashes:

>Also, you know that picture of Lee Majdoub with the beautiful everything? I think he was wearing eyeliner so my Stone wears eyeliner too in contrast to Eggman's dark circles under his eyes JDJS😭

-She's the five-year-old that made Sonic fear them because 'they can be so cruel when they sense weakness' (she was brutally honest as any young kid is).

-Stone and Robotnik got Gomez and Morticia Addams kinda parenting. They see their child beating up someone and they're like:

"What did we do wrong?" (Stone while shaking his head in disappointment) "I know... she lacks resourcefulness." (Eggman) "Exactly, there's her baseball bat right there, why doesn't she use it?"

-Remember that Shadow said in a game that he wouldn't mind taking a candy from a baby? (fandub I think but still) This comes in handy when neither Tails, Sonic or Knuckles want to upset the kid (so Shadow does it instead).

-She plays sports too because she got too much energy. In each of them she loses her patience. She grabs the football and hauls it at the nearest team member, she throws her baseball bat to the ground and starts beating up whoever threw the ball that she missed, she stomps in frustration if she loses, she's great at dodgeball (sends her classmates to the infirmary).

-Throws tantrums and stuff and overall's an annoying kid if she's upset. Eggman's like UGH WHY'S SHE LIKE THIS?? and Stone's like Because of you, doctor (terrible temperament runs in the family and also Robotnik just spoiled her too much).

-I'm kinda dressing her up in the clothes that existed in my mind that supposedly Eggman wore (the weird dress-like jacket with the big zipper in the middle). Under her jacket there's a dress in the same pattern as the original Eggman's clothes, also she wears a baby onesie like that too.

-When she's older she's definitely proud of her fathers, but she doesn't appreciate the rumors that she's prone to go power-crazy like Robotnik did. Especially because it may be true, but what do they know.

-For the irony, she can't stand drinking coffee, but loves the smell of it because it reminds her of home (omg).

-THEY HAVE A PET CAT like I read in some fics and her name is Robot and she's a lil shit and also grumpy like Robotnik.

>Maybe she brings her alive mice to experiment on all sort of stuff (like Pávlov and his dogs and the guy Skinner with his mice and cats (??))

-She gets to hang out with Sonic and friends under the condition of annoying him as much as possible. So, she complies. (She loves Sonic the Hedgehog, but she loves making her fathers happy more).

-Very smart kid but not to the level of Tails or Robotnik at that age, she's just got very good memory and learning skills and knows a lot of stuff ever since she was a little kid. More like a Matilda-kinda intelligence.

-She's a scientist when she grows up too but the kind that makes evil potions and serums and stuff aksjdk probably (chemistry things? biochem idk). She can make silly little robots for the fun of it but it's not her passion, unlike Robotnik and Stone's. PROBABLY. I'm still deciding.

-BTW LOOK (it says 'carefully crafted ploy to distract space porcupines')

>While Eggman's there with the baby and Sonic in front of him going AWWW BABY BOO and making her laugh, Stone is sneaking up on him holding a chair above his head to knock him out.

THAT'S IT THANKS FOR READING ✨✨

[diminuel]

One Piece AU Comics Masterpost

Some of my AUs are somewhat interwoven as they borrow headcanons from each other. I'm doing my best to sort them into their respective AUs.

They're mostly Dragon/Crocodile and Crocodad comics.

Stinky Child AU

A canon divergent AU where Dragon and Crocodile decided to raise Luffy in Windmill Village while still being a revolutionary leader and a warlord. They adopt Ace and Sabo.

Crocodile meets Ace // Crocodile is taking Ace home // Stinky Child gets a bath (Illustration) // Ace gets a new outfit // Ace meets Baby Luffy // Dragon meets Ace // Dragon has nightmares // Swooning over Criminals // ~ Big Timeskip~ // Logue Town // After Marineford // Post Timeskip // Mistakes were made // Momoiro Island Dress Code // Cross Guild //

Captain No Brows

A potential first meeting between a young criminal and a marine and their encounters over the years.

First meeting // Unexpected call // Taking care of two orphans //Doffy has questions // Dragon cleaning up messes // Doffy is fantasizing // Dragon leaves the Marines

Potentially set in the same universe: Crocodile meets Portgas D. Rouge // Crocodile takes his shirt off // Unexpected revelations

Surprise Baby

Dragon and Crocodile find themselves with a child and have to figure out what to do. I have not yet decided to which AU this belongs.

Late Realization (Illustration) // Crocodile tells Dragon about the baby // Bit coat hides big secrets

Former Kuja Empress

AU where Crocodile is a Kuja who got ship wrecked and saved by Dragon's small group of revolutionaries. (Crocodile presents female.)

First Meeting and misheard names // Haircut

After the Divorce

Canon compliant AU in which Dragon and Crocodile get back together after the events of Marineford and end up having another baby.

Crocodile's mysterious client // Too late for protection (Illustration) // They're having another baby (Illustration) // Suspicious Coworkers (Illustration) // Luffy finds out he's going to be a big brother // Luffy meets his baby sister // Luffy brings his sister to his ship // Another one

Little Dragon's (Mis) Adventures

Bringing up never to be answered questions: did Garp and Roger have sex (see this comic) and is Dragon maybe Roger's son?

Dragon ends up on Roger's ship // Dragon has no choice but to stay with the Roger Pirates // They get to know Dragon // Diverging Priorities // Treasure Chest Baby // Dragon is babysitting Roger's cabin boys // Shanks thinks about his babysitter

Mini Mingo and Grumpy Verse

An AU in which Dragon and Crocodile had more biological kids after Luffy, "Grumpy" (Kite) and "Mini Mingo" (Dulcinea). Mini Mingo is suspiciously blond but it might mean nothing. Grumpy also exists as the fifth baby in the After the Divorce AU.

New blonde baby // Mini-Mingo is visiting Cross Guild // Mini Mingo has a crisis // Asking Grumpy for advice // Doflamingo has a crisis // Doflamingo does not take hugs well // Usopp develops the "can't meet anymore of Luffy's insane family" disease //

Misc.

These are stand alone comics that could apply to multiple AU story lines.

Big Parents, Tiny Baby

Luffy's Birth // Tiny thing fitting into Crocodile's big hand

The No Brows Multiverse

Dragon is tired of people telling him he looks just like Garp. // Dragon shaves his eyebrows for his first wanted poster.

Chaotic Family Time (Various family related comics)

Toys for Luffy // Everybody wants to be a girl // The return of Captain No Brows // Sabo feels left out // The kids are meeting Pops // Alabasta Trip + Follow up

[melled42]

Idk if this is a huge request or not, but could you explain more about Bell? (The shitten in your au)

I would be thankful, take care.

Yeah, ive done like... 3 pieces of her max but she gets SO many asks lol. the story isn't really ready for her yet, and i'd like to finish what im working on before i do more with her, but i'll give the basic rundown.

she LITTERALY started as a joke baby post but she got so much interaction i said i'd expand on her design and now she seems to just have a following of simps (oops, like lamb like daughter)

most of the old ideas for ewen and nari with her are out of date now on the art, but heres a bunch of plot and some unposted sketches under cut

Nari and Ewen are married and leading the cult still. all the siblings have kids, grandkids and even great grandkids (excluding shamura). Its only after they decide having a child is someone for them to love and raise, not someone who they're forcing the cycle of trauma on that they have Bell. And they adore her. While growing up, one by one, the former bishops, all her aunts, uncles, and shamura decided it was time to peacefully end their long lives. So she sees death as a good thing, the satisfying end to a long life story. So when Ewen and Narinder are ready to die together, even though they say she doesn't have to, she takes on the crown and ends if for them with a last "i love you" between them. She runs the cult now which is more themed around their shared neck wound "rings" and their relationship than just the lamb. She's called "the black sheep" by her followers (or queen if they're kinky, princess when shes younger). she wields the crown as a pair of horns and a sythe, sine the cult of the black rings also referenced Ewen's large black horns and she keeps up the theme.

Baal and Aym are her "brothers" (more of her body guards and technically her cousins but she refuses to call them anything else) and her body guards, staying after their master's death. They've known her since she was a baby and still treat her as one sometimes. She's VERY protective over them, but also will bully them sometimes, like kicking their asses when training and saying they're just going easy on her like when she was a kid, knowing full well she's overpowered by the crown.

Because shes such an oddity, the mystic seller assigned one of their followers to keep an eye on her and, much like her "ba ba" she found the overpowered demigod shes now obsessed with. With some help from Ewen before they passed, they were able to translate their glyphs. Now that helper follows her around disguised as a poor imitation of a regular mortal to better understand her and the mortal realm. Or at least thats what she convinced them to do since she wants them around <3 probably not to their masters liking lol. I haven't decided on a name yet. Bell eventually give them the purple crown (they/it)

Before they left, Narinder was trying to reawaken the crowns, whether for the memory of his siblings, or that the cult was growing too large to be centered on the red crown. They're not very powerful right now and Bell is the leader of the others, more like a babysitter.

The blue crown is with Kalliope (kalli for short) (she/her), a distant relative of Kallamar's who had to fight, both physically and socially, with all her other of age relatives to get the chance, since Kallamar's polycule made a LOT of kids and grand kids. She's kind of bitchy about it and whines about everyone not respecting her or how hard she worked. shes a flamboyant cuttlefish and trans femme. also the crown is worn like an earring. Bell has little tolerance for her and they have a lot of bitchy girl fights.

The green crown is with isop (a kinda combo of isopod and aesop) (he/him) who is a rubber ducky isopod. he's Leshy's great great grandkid, and really only god the crown because no one else on the peaceful forest farm leshy put together in his later years really wanted it and figured it meant free babysitting. he's pretty young and small with a fascination for chaos and violence that only little kids without developed social perception can have, though he more watches at this point. The others tend to carry him or he rolls around in a little ball. The crown is worn like glasses.

The orange crown is with Mycelia (lia for short) (they/them plural) who is a homunculus mushroomo made through experimentation by Heket and Sozo before they died. they're the only one who is actually older than Bell. They're undying because they're a hive mind of all the mushroomo, who have been progressively growing. They can see everything the others see, can spout new bodies when needed and even feed on their own dead bodies. Bell sometimes just kills them when they're frustrated with them or other things. They'd be a threat but they're very monotone and emotionless about pretty much everything and don't care. They've worked with the red crown just because death is a natural boon to fungus and keeps them alive. The orange crown is worn as a necklace.

Heres some sketches since I haven't been able to get the designs to my liking but people keep asking so :T

[hanafubukki]

Yuu being a little afraid of being pregnant, but the world of twisted wonderland has much better healthcare and overall treats children better

They're not getting any younger and neither is Lilia, so why not have a baby before they become too old to engage and raise them?

It doesn't take long, between the prescribed gummies from Riddle (their family doctor and old friend) and Lilia's ahem- enthusiasm, they start showing signs 2 months after they popped the question to Lilia

They remember how Lilia literally flew with joy when they told him they're ready. Of course after the initial joy they started discussing how they will go on about this, how Yuu will probably need to go on a vitamin rich diet, start doing pregnant yoga and require daily massages the farther along they get.

However Yuu's pregnancy seems to get harder everyday. A fact so alarming that they bring it up at their next checkup

"well? How's everything?" Lilia asked tentatively

"weeellll...." Riddle began with a sigh as he discarded the gloves " I have some good news and some.... neutral news?"

"neutral news?"

"I'll start with the good news!" He quickly added

"Good news is the baby's healthy! The growth rate is normal and they seem to be doing well"

"and the neutral news???"

Riddle but his bottom lip wincing "Neutral news is... The babies are healthy. Plural. There's 3 in there."

"...what"

Yuu and Lilia's faces were complete opposites. Moving at the same time, Yuu's face pulled into a horrified open mouth look while Lilia couldn't hide his grin. He fixed his expression once he noticed Yuu's horror.

"Luckily, we have magic here that'll make your labour be as easy as blinking, however you'll need to eat more. The reason why you've been exhausted is because you were only eating on account of one baby, sometimes if you're not consciously aware of the fact you're pregnant the body will not experience any additional cravings. In your case, you weren't aware just how pregnant you are"

"I.... How did this even happen- I mean what are the chances????"

"are we happy with this?" Riddle asked, looking only at Yuu with a gaze that told them they're his only priority

Yuu held eye contact and thought about it.

"...Yes. It'll be difficult but I want this"

Riddle smiled at both Yuu and Lilia. After everything, they deserved this.

"Very well then! I advise investing in a pump so that can lessen your load when the babies are born. If you need an extra fridge or an electric kettle please don't hesitate to ask, I know a guy" he says with a wink

Lilia smiled, trying to tone down his excitement "we appreciate your help Dr. Rosehearts"

Riddle scoffs "Oh please we go way back. Consider this my personal 'thank you' for helping me out back then, Yuu"

As they walked from the clinic to the nearest portal Yuu could practically feel the joy radiating from their husband. It was impressive how he managed to keep a hold on them and help them walk rather than outright carrying them and flying away

They decided to break the ice "soooo?"

They hear him him take a deep breath before scream-laughing. It honestly startled them

"I GOT A 3 FOR 1 DEAL!" of course this is how he chose to express his joy

Yuu groaned " anymore of this and I'm telling grim you hid his tuna away"

"aww so mean~ can't an old man be happy?"

"you're a particularly loud old man, and I too am old with a terrible headache so have some sympathy, sir!"

"ah anything goes for my cranky old spouse"

He peppered Yuu's face with kisses before carrying them through the portal

It's a good thing they preemptively bought multiple baby clothes (mostly because Yuu was scared of leaving the baby and Lilia in the kitchen together would lead to unsalvageable tatters)

Bonus:

"Well at least now Silver, Malleus and Sebek won't need to fight about being the favourite older brother"

"let's not kid ourselves batsy, they will still engage in petty competition"

"but we did kid ourselves.... 3 times kfufufu"

"no more cuddles for a week"

"wait no-"

Hello Anonie 🌷💞💚

THERE WAS 3!!! 😆😂 not only was lilia enthusiastic but so was his seed it seems omg 😆

Which makes sense because bats do tend to have more than one at once.

Everyone gets a baby! One for brother mal, one for brother sil, and one for uncle sebek. 🥳🥳

You get a baby and you get a baby and you and you 🤣

Riddle is so sweeettt 😭😭💞💞 I’m so happy. He’s attentive.🥺🥹

…”3 for 1 deal”!!!!! LMFAOO I’m crying 😂

This was adorable. 💚

[devildomditzy]

Mammon/Asmo would object to a wedding. They might not even know the people, they just like drama

Who's Most Likely to... Object at a Wedding?

That would be Asmo and Mammon

(And oh my god you gave me a great idea)

Link to the masterpost

"I object!"

Gasps resound around the crowd at the shrill voice that erupted from somewhere in the group. Well, one side of the crowd. Namely your side, your relatives and friends all shocked by the scene unfolding in front of them. As for the demon's side - well, groans accompanied by eyerolls fall over the section, all as everyone in the room looks to Asmo, standing from his seat with his hand raised to the sky, puppy dog eyes making direct contact with yours.

"Oh come on!", Mammon yells next to your side, letting go of your hand in favor of facing his brother and pointing accusingly in his direction.

"Whaddya mean you object!"

Asmo glares back with a smirk, hands flying to his hips. "I mean MC should be marrying mwah! Not some scummy idiot with a gambling addiction!". He folds his hands together, bringing them to his face, tilting his head, looking at you as if you were an injured kitten. "Poor thing."

"Hey! Why dontcha say that to my face, ya self-obsessed air head!", Mammon calls back in response, beginning to step off the alter. You give Barbatos, who was officiating the ceremony, your most apologetic smile as you grab Mammon by the back of his collar, preventing his tirade further.

Your family exchanges worried glances, with murmurs of "What's going on?" and "Someone do something!" echoing through the room.

"I already did!', Asmo giggles, smiling as he looks om at his brother. "And so, I object."

"W-Well, I object to your objection!", Mammon yells, still raring to make a run at his little brother.

You swear you hear Lucifer audibly groan among the commotion.

"It's not up to you!", Asmo sing-songs, taunting him.

"It's not up to me? I'm their groom for cryin' out loud!", says Mammon, increasing angry. He shakes loose from your grasp and starts his march towards the fifth born.

"Mammon, don't make me-", you begin before Asmo cuts you off.

"Yeah, Mammon, don't make them choose! Why don't we just swap places? I'm sure they'll be much happier with me!"

"Mammon!", you call after him, but its no use. You can tell when your first man is seeing red.

He makes his way through the aisles, grabbing Asmo by the collar.

"Oh my~", he coos in response.

You've just about had it with this mess, and it seems you're not the only one. Barbatos clears his throat from next to you where he stands at the ready.

"MC, I do believe its time to do 'the thing' that you were mentioning."

You sigh in annoyance, handing him your bouquet momentarily. You face the two pain-in-your-asses causing a ruckus and clear your throat, balling up your firsts at your side.

"STAAAAAYYY!!!!!"

Both boys suddenly fall to the floor. Hard.

In fact, all the brothers fall to the floor.

"Whoops."

There are moans from the seats behind where Mammon and Asmo now sit on the floor.

"Oww", Levi whines.

"What the hell was that for?", complains Belphie, who sits up, rubbing the side of his head.

"No, it was necessary", Lucifer sighs as he stands, brushing off the front of his coat, looking up at you. 'They're all yours."

Everyone's attention now snaps to Mammon and Asmo, who look up at you pathetically from their positions.

"You!", you say, pointing at Mammon, "need to learn to recognize when Asmo is just trying to get under your skin. Seriously, how do you not know by now? You've known him for what now? A gajillion years? And why would you think for a second I'd leave you for anyone else? When I'm literally standing next to you trying to become your lifelong partner!?"

"And you!", you shift yourself, pointing at Asmo now, "know I love you. And I know you love me. But we both know that love is strictly platonic! I get you like to mess with Mammon, but did you have to do it on my wedding day?"

"Sowwy!", Asmo baby talks, knocking himself in the head lightly with his fist. "But this is just the rehearsal, right? I'd never do this during the real thing, silly! But I thought that the mood was so drab that we could use some drama!"

"Are you fuckin' with me right now!?", Mammon stares at his brother in disbelief.

"Not right now, no. I was 'fucking' with you about three minutes ago", Asmo winks., before continuing.

"But, sorry Mammon. I didn't think you'd take it that seriously. I mean, we all know you two were made for each other. Why would I really have a shot with MC anyway? Why would any of us?", Asmo looks sheepish as he crosses his arms, shaking his head.

Mammon blinks heavily and looks back to you as you stick out your arm, helping him to his feet. Asmo smiles as he watches.

"I mean, do you see the way they look at you?", he questions, prompting Mammon to blush deeply as he looks into your eyes.

You smile, walking backwards as you lead Mammon back up to the alter.

"Sorry!", you apologize brightly to your family. "It's always something", you shake your head, laughing.

"Now, may I...", Barbatos asks you, searching both of your faces for acknowledgement to proceed.

"I do!", Mammon blurts out, red as can be.

"Mammon, we already said I do", you giggle, grinning brightly at him.

"R-right. Yea, alright", he says, barely paying attention as he turns to Barbatos. "C'mon, can I kiss them now?", he asks, pointing at you.

Barbatos makes a small sound of defeat as he stops his speech, opting instead to smile. "I don't see why not."

For the first time today, the crowd is filled with cheers instead of startled gasps as Mammon grabs you and - of course - dramatically dips you, sealing your lips with a kiss.

He pulls back and smiles.

"I can't wait to do that to ya again tomorrow."

[yall-batman-fanfic]

Trouble | Batfam x Batmom x Batsis

Synopsis: Vivian and Bruce get a call from Valerie's teacher and they are in it for a shock to know what their daughter and her big brothers’ did.

Vivian has been called by the homeroom teachers of Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian numerous times when they were still in school. Well, Damian is still in school and there are times when she would still get the call from them too for whenever he is a “smartass” (their words, not her, and she didn't appreciate the term too but they too claim that was what his classmates would call him). It was normal to be called for the antics they do and the words they use in school, they are exposed to many things at a young age with their duties as Robin. 

But when Valerie started school, while she did expect to get a call from her daughter's homeroom teacher once in a while, she didn't expect it to be something so serious that she would find her husband parking the same time she was at the school parking lot.

“You got the call too?” Vivian asked him.

“Yeah. Is it really that bad that we're both needed?” Bruce went to her side so they can head inside together. 

Vivian gave him an incredulous look, “What can a five-year-old do? This is preschool?”

“What did you do when you were five that got you in trouble?” 

Vivian shrugged. “I don’t know – I didn't stick around that much anyway, but I do remember telling my pre-school teacher to ‘fuck off’ and raised the middle finger at them too. And I remember biting my teacher's hand until it bled.”

“Any reason?”

“I was seven then, the school wouldn't admit it, but that teacher of mine was a creepy-pedo and he tried to touch me. My mom taught me a thing or two to spot them and when he got  a little handsy I bit it so hard the nurses said he needed stitches.”

“I don't think that's the case with Val, it better not be,” Bruce growled at the last part.

“If one of her teachers even touch her in a way they're not, I swear, they rather want Batman's justice than the Phoenix's.”

Bruce knew that to be true. In interrogations, Superman and Batman are called the good cop and the bad cop – the carrot and the stick. But with tougher cases, he prefers to bring in Vivian; they were bad cop and bad cop. The stick and the crowbar. And both scenarios he was the stick.

Arriving at Valerie's homeroom, they found their daughter sitting at her desk, alone, while drawing on a pad with crayons. After greeting Valerie's teacher, Vivian and Bruce went to their daughter to greet her. Valerie smiled at the sight of them and welcomed the kisses they placed on her cheeks.

“What happened, baby?” Vivian asked.

Valerie pouted and went back to her drawing.

Vivian and Bruce exchanged looks in confusion and worry. 

“Val, what are you drawing?” Bruce asked.

“Nothing,” Valerie muttered and continue to color on her drawing. 

“Mr. Wayne, Mrs. Pryor-Wayne, why don't we head here to talk?” Val's teacher gestured to her table at the very front where two seats were.

Leaving their daughter's side, Vivian and Bruce settled at the seats and asked what happened. Valerie's teacher went straight to the story, how the class was doing their paintings, and then – while the whole thing did start with Dalton Fallbrook putting on her hair and Valerie responded to flipping him over her shoulder, then her saying…

“What?” Bruce said, completely in shock.

“I just have to know, does Valerie usually hear that language at home?” 

Bruce turned to Vivian. His wife glared at him and said, “You know I stopped when Valerie was born!”

“You sometimes slip, Viv.”

“I do not! Besides, I don't use those in one go.”

“No one is pointing fingers, Mrs. Pryor-Wayne –” Valerie's teacher began.

“Tell him that! He's pointing fingers at me!” Vivian pointed her thumb at Bruce. “You know what – Val, baby, can you come over here for a sec?”

“Okay!” Valerie got up and went to her mother's side.

“Your teacher said you said a bad word –”

“Stupid fucking bitch,” Valerie said.

Bruce groaned and ran his hand down his face.

“Yes, yes, baby, no need to say it again. Don't ever say it again,” Vivian told her in a gentle voice. “I just want to know where did you… did you get it from me? From Mom?”

“No,” Valerie fiddled with the hem of her jacket.

“Then who, Val?” Bruce asked.

Oh the names she gave…

It made Bruce and Vivian sigh loudly and call everyone in their group chat to come to the manor.

~*~

“What's with the emergency call?” Dick asked, arriving at the sitting room.

“Yeah, I was at a job,” Jason walked in, and he went straight to where Val was to pick her up and swing her around. “Miss you, baby bird!”

“Jay!” Valerie giggled, but when he stopped she pouted and said: “I got in trouble.”

“Really? What did you do?”

“That is exactly what we're all going to talk about now,” said Vivian, who was standing there with Bruce and Alfred with the very latter holding a jar. A very familiar jar to Jason.

“Hey, isn't that the curse jar we had back then?” He asked Alfred. “I thought that broke.”

Setting down Valerie, the girl ran to where her mother was and sat on the couch between her parents. With everyone gathered – Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Duke, Cassandra, Stephanie, and Barbara – Vivian got to the point.

“Bruce and I were called to Val's pre-school earlier because of an incident,” she began.

“Who's the kid who needs a beating?” Jason asked.

“No one… Val already beat him up.”

“What did he do?” Damian crossed his arms over his chest.

Valerie pouted. “He pulled on my hair.”

“That's it,” Damian was about to leave but Dick held him down.

“Like Vivian said, Valerie already handled the situation,” Bruce said.

“How?” Tim asked, very much curious, like the others.

“She flipped him over her shoulder,” Vivian answered. And before they could celebrate, she added, “Then she said a very very bad word which she said she learned from you all.”

“Which is?” Tim asked.

Before Vivian could say, Valerie said: “Stupid fucking bitch!”

Silence came to the room. One that was so fragile that a simple tap would break, and it did break when Dick and Jason laughed so loudly. 

“It is not a laughing matter, Master Dick, Master Jason!” Alfred told them.

“Come on, Alfred, it is a little funny,” Jason shrugged.

Seeing Dick and Jason were laughing because of what she said, Valerie repeated it: “Stupid fucking bitch!”

Dick and Jason laughed again.

“Val, let’s not say that word again,” Duke tried to get her to stop.

“Well, I think this answers the question we were going to ask on who taught her that,” Vivian crossed her arms over her chest.

“Come on! We're not the only ones who say that!” Dick said. “I use ‘Damian’ whenever I'm in deep shit.” And he does, Dick would always say: “You stupid piece of… Damian.” instead of shit.

“Hey!” Damian exclaimed.

“It's not like I taught her how to use it!” Jason said.

They turned to Tim. 

Tim sat up. “I would never! Sure, do I curse whenever the gremlin pisses me off, but that doesn't mean I would sit down and teach her how to use it.”

They turned to Stephanie, she said to all of them: “Hey! The only thing I taught Val is how to do puzzles and riddles!”

Then to Barbara. 

“No,” Barbara simply said.

Then to Damian.

Damian glared at them. “I wouldn't – not to Val.”

“Okay, so no one taught Val how to curse,” Bruce sighed in relief.

“Hey, how come no one questioned Cass and Duke?” Jason said.

“Do you really think they would curse around Val?” Tim raised a brow at him.

They were sure a halo appeared atop the heads of Cassandra and Duke.

“So, that means, she just learned how to use it after hearing us use them,” Vivian groaned. “Right, to fix this we agreed to bring back an old thing we had in the Manor… Jason is familiar with this since it was with him this started.”

“A curse jar?” Damian snorted. “Like that will work. I don't see Todd having the cleanest mouth of us all.”

“You have no idea the innuendo that has, do you?” Stephanie smirked.

“The what?” 

Before Stephanie could explain, Alfred coughed, catching their attention, and pointed to Valerie's direction. There was a child present!

Jason snickered. “Is it still a dollar per curse word?”

“I don't like that tone, wanna make it five per curse word?” Vivian raised a brow at them.

“No!” They all exclaimed.

“Sure about that, Ma? Last time, the both of us were neck-a-neck with our donations to the curse-jar.”

“And that money got us to buy the new television that broke down,” said Alferd. “And some items in our grocery list.”

It was in Jason's time in the manor that Bruce realized he was paying so little for groceries and wondered how much cursing Vivian and Jason do around the manor. So much that it could pay for groceries and a T.V..

“So, any more cursing, we put a dollar here,” Vivian pointed to the jar. “So, before we start, wanna get something out?” She covered Valerie's ears. “Now is the time.”

Damian raised his hand. “Who was the bastard who messed with Val? I'll fuckign kill him.”

“You're not going to kill anyone – besides, he's a kid!” Bruce told Damian.

Jason raised his hand. “Did Val really flipping off the fucker?”

“Yes, she did. And I'm proud of her for it. The little shit deserved it anyway,” Vivian said.

Dick raised his hand. “Can I go now? I need to take a Damian.”

“I hate you, Grayson,” Damian glared at Dick.

Tim raised a hand. “Shit. Fuck. Bitch… that's it, just wanna get that out.”

Vivian sighed. “Anyone else who wants to get it out of their system?” 

No one said they were good.

“Alright, from now on,” Alfred began. “If anyone curses, it will be fined a dollar. It starts now.”

Silence came to the manor.

Valerie got down the couch and went to Damian, “Play?” she asked him.

“Homework first then we play,” Damian told her.

Valerie huffed and agreed to his terms.

When they left, Jason turned to Vivian, “How come she goes to the gremlin to play? The little fucker knows nothing about playing house!”

Alfred and Bruce sighed and held out the jar to him.

Jason grumbled and shoved two dollars.

“That's a dollar too much,” said Bruce.

“Yeah, because I paid for the next one. This is a shitty plan, didn't stop me from calling you—” he dropped another dollar “— you a piece of shit, B.” 

Silence again.

“So,” Tim began. “Does this also apply to patrols?”

An idea popped in Bruce, Vivian, and Alfred's head, and the smirks on their faces made everyone else groan. Annoyed with the new rule. 

[reveluving]

sweeter than sweet ; phillip graves x reader x jeff sadecki

summary: nothing like making sweet memories at a fall festival with your beloveds.

warnings: major fluff; they're sickeningly in love with you, lots of sweet treats & brother bantering + nat & kev appreciation, explicit language, takes place shortly after the main story (which I’m STILL working on I know but hey, more twins content!)

a/n: and we're back, THIS TIME WITH OUR FAVOURITE TWINS!! I enjoyed this so, so, so much. I needed all the sweetness, and I sure as hell needed to share it with y'all for this cozy season! please don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» wanna know what I have in store this fall? come & check out this year's 'reve's quirky reverie' m.list! 🕷️'!

'So, what better way to commemorate the moment than to help Mama out, all three of you?' ;

“Mama!” You rushed over to the older lady, taking the tray she was carrying from the boot of the car, “We can handle the carrying.”

“Ah, c’mon now, a couple o’ trays ain’t gon’ kill me.” She dismissed your worries with a wave of a hand, chuckling as your pout deepened at her words. 

“Mama, please.” 

“Alright, alright, I hear ya,” She chuckled, gently squeezing your cheek, “But the second y’see ‘em slackin’ off, y’tell me.”

That brought a grin to your lips, especially when you spotted Phil and Jeff carrying trays and displays to the booth designated for Denise’s baked goods with ease.

“Pretty sure they’re doing just fine.” You reassured her, though you knew she was also joking around, knowing how good and well she raised her sons. 

... For the most part. 

Silently agreeing with your response with a proud smile, you and Mama headed over to her booth, quaint and Halloween-y just like the other ones around you. The cool air nipped at your skin, despite the comfortable set you've put on specifically for this very special day.

Like Phil, it was your first visit to the town’s fall festival in a long time, something you had always looked forward to every year. Helping Mama out with selling her blue-ribbon treats, stopping by other booths to see your friends and even playing a few games, no matter how rigged some of them were. 

Because at the end of the day, the twins would put their heart and soul into winning something for you. 

Like the two Tomodachis they won you during your sophomore year, all while being able to enjoy the smug smile being wiped off the operator's face.

Now, with your promise to visit Wiskayok whenever possible, this time, your break falling in the month of October, you couldn't bear to miss the festival anymore.

Simultaneously marking it as your first in years, and your first since the beginning of your relationship.

So, what better way to commemorate the moment than to help Mama out, all three of you?

Upon reaching her booth, you and Mama were met with the sight of the brothers quietly arguing about where to put the glass display for her coffee cake—her best-selling goods every year. Their petty disagreement stopped when you and their mother came into view, the latter deadpanning at the two already.

“Ma, listen,” Phil started, seemingly to apologize, “He started it.”

Jeff gaped, only to drop his arms to his sides like he had already given up the fight with his baby brother, “Okay.”

“Told ‘em t’put it next to the sticky buns but he didn’t wanna listen.” Phil added, villainizing his twin. Jeff could only turn to you, deadpanning the same way Mama did. All you could do was hold back a laugh because if Mama was going to start nagging at someone, you most definitely did not want to be a part of it.

Mama shook her head in amusement, then continued to set up the table together. 

At some point in the preparation, Mama had requested Jeff to help her check the car for anything amiss, leaving you behind the counter and Phil putting on the last lights at the front. 

Then, out of the blue, he slid a few bucks across the counter. 

“A kiss, from the most gorgeous girl in town, please.” He playfully requested.

You huffed, amused, “This isn't a kissing booth, commander.” 

“No? Could've fooled me when you're working behind the counter,” He mused aloud, “How much do I gotta pay t’get a pretty lady—the pretty lady t’give me some sugar, huh? Ten bucks? Fifty bucks? A hundred?” 

“A kissing booth charging more than five dollars sounds like a scam.” You commented, raising a brow.

“Darlin’, if I'm ever givin’ you less than at least fifty dollars for anythin’, let alone five, just know that is not me.” He quipped.

You giggled, sliding the money back to his side as you leaned in, “For you? I'm willing to do it for free.”

His smug smile grew, “Now, that wouldn't do, darlin’. I can pay up. Honest.”

Phil just smirked at the suspicious look on your face, “Alright, so a few bucks ain’t gon’ cut it. But I know what will.”

Just then, he whipped out a treat, and you were wondering why he had hidden his hand behind his back minutes ago, and from the moment your eyes landed on the surprise, you knew you could not say no.

“Now, you’re just playing dirty.” You pouted.

“I like to call it ‘bein’ considerate’,” He grinned. He couldn’t get your cute frown, especially as he tauntingly shook the soft maple cookie in front of you, “Y’know these things sell out damn fast, and as cute as y’are poutin’, I’d rather it be a playful one.”

You knew what he was referring to; during middle school, you attended the festival a little later than usual, only to find out your favourite maple cookie fix had sold out. While it was nobody’s fault it happened, it was one of the earliest times Phil was obliged to make the season right for you while it still lasted, offering his mother some of his allowance in hopes she could meet up with Mrs. Walker to whip up a batch just for you the next day. 

Mama accepted the money from Phil’s insistence, only to slip it back into his piggy bank without his knowledge because just like her, Mrs. Walker found the story too adorable and offered it for free.

The joy in your eyes upon receiving a box of it may have been the driving force in working for ultimate success in hopes of always spoiling you. He acknowledged that while money couldn’t always buy happiness, and he’d be a fool to think he could buy your affection, it was just his way of showing you he cared. 

Besides, you knew the commander beyond his prideful front, and besides the constant gift-giving, he never shied away from reminding you of his devotion via sweet words and even sweeter touches.

“All I’m askin’ for is a lil’ bit o’sugar.” He drawled, anticipating your soft lips on him already.

Looking back, it was a little embarrassing to be pouty over a treat, no matter how much you reassured the family that the other goods were more than enough, but in your defence, you were twelve. Plus, seeing Phil before you, utterly shameless in his adoration, in being yours, you supposed he did deserve some sugar. 

You sighed and Phil knew he had you right where he wanted when a smile, knowing you reminisced the same thing he did, bloomed on your lips, “One kiss.”

“One kiss.” 

You didn't have to know about his fingers crossing behind him.

You leaned in, and Phil immediately met you in the middle, savouring the plush of your lips against his. While he knew not to act up, to pull you closer by your head and feel your tongue sliding against his, it didn’t mean he liked it whatsoever, but what was the harm in breaking the rules just a little bit, right?

So, he suddenly deepened the kiss before nipping on your bottom lip. You squeaked, breaking the kiss to smack his arm, “Phil! C'mon, Mama could be around.” 

He cracked up, remaining unbothered as his hands rested on the counter, “But I kept my promise.”

He paused and you didn’t have to guess his next possible response.

“But if you’re up f’more…”

“Ahem.” 

Just then, Mama—however she snuck up on you was uncertain—cleared her throat, standing behind you. She raised a brow, eyes darting between him and you, “You two behavin’?” 

“Yes, ma'am,” You immediately hid behind her, pouting as you peered over her shoulder, “Phil's just being a big bully.” 

Despite knowing you were joking, she played along as she shot her youngest a playful glare. The not-so-innocent grin, like he was silently telling her ‘I didn't do anythin’. Swear’ he gave her had you giggling.

Jeff took the opportunity to wrap his arms around you from behind and warm you up, taking advantage of the slight privacy in the booth with you. Hooking his chin over your shoulder, he kissed your cheek, “Yeah? He bullying you? Need me to teach him a lesson?” 

“Please?” You fluttered your lashes at him and shit, who was he to say no to you?

He may not know how to fight as well as his brother but he still had some brawns in him.

Phil knew the look in his brother’s eyes and while he, too, would’ve done the same, he wasn’t going to go down without a fight, “Now, wait a damn minute—”

“Boys,” The boys in question immediately shut their mouths but not before shooting each other the brotherly stink eye. Mama sighed, looking at you over her shoulder, “Help me with the crisp, will ya?”

“Can do.” You nodded and Jeff was forced to let you go, but his disappointment in the brief embrace lifted after you pecked a kiss on his cheek, bringing a dumb little smile on his face. 

Before you could even continue helping Mama, Phil tapped on your shoulder, feeding you the cookie from earlier, and knowing he expected a little something-something in return, especially after the quick smooch for his brother, you kissed him on the cheek, earning yourself his million-dollar smile.

But just as you and the twins enjoyed a box of it along the way, and as Mama peeled the last saran wrap off another tray, she clasped her hands, remembering something.

“Gemma!” She exclaimed then reached over to hold your hand between hers, “Sweetheart, I promised her I’d bring the boys to help set her booth up t’day.” 

She pointed to your right, one of the stands lacking decorations that laid next to it, which Gemma, the sweet lady older than Mama, surely could not do on her own. 

“Y’mind mannin’ the booth ‘til we get back?” She asked, guilt already seeping into her tone. 

You quickly squeezed her hand in return, “I’ll be fine, Mama. It’s not my first time.”

You mirrored her smile upon hearing your reply, “I know, just had t’make sure. I won’t take long, I promise.”

“No rush!” You reassured, responding to Phil and Jeff mouthing ‘we’ll be quick’ by offering two thumbs-up before they followed their mother. You weren’t worried. Sure, you’ve never handled the booth without Mama or either of the brothers before, but you knew your way around it.

So, you easily prepared the necessary, and it wouldn’t take long for your first customer to arrive, calling your name. You straightened at the familiar voice, the corners of your lips quirking upwards upon seeing three newcomers.

“Nat, Kev, hi! You‘re early.” 

“Promised Mason we’d stay in tonight.” Natalie shrugged, motioning to the young boy next to Kevyn, the two greeting you with similar smiles, “Watch some childhood horror movies, eat a ton, then sleep a ton in the living room.”

“Well,” You were already folding the first box for their order, “All the more reason to help you guys out ASAP. What will it be?”

“A bit of everything,” She replied, letting a few seconds go by before adding, “Please.”

You huffed, amused by her way of teaching herself to be cordial, even when you’ve known her for so long, “You guys really are planning on having a food coma together, huh?” 

“It’s the perfect night for it,” She shrugged, and despite not looking like it, she enjoyed the lightheartedness, “And we couldn’t miss out on Mrs Baker’s goods.”

You nodded in agreement, “Can’t miss out on Mama’s specials. And you, detective?” 

Kevyn shrugged, “Whatever the lady wants.” His lighthearted reply prompted Natalie to scoff.

“Coming right up.” You began arranging the first box with bars and cookies, channelling Mama’s generosity to bring in the joy for the cozy season.

“So, uh, you and twins,” Kevyn began awkwardly, cocking his head at Phil and Jeff helping another neighbour with their stall, “You’re… a thing?”

He meant no harm nor judgement, just curiosity. After all, it was a small town, hearing the relationship through Natalie, who was already furrowing her brows at him at his question. She was ready to reprimand him, to defend you when you reassured her with an easygoing response.

“We are. Been with Phil for a year, but uh, we—the three of us only started last spring,” You closed the first box before filling another with cakes this time, “Didn’t think I’d see Phil in the same base, let alone dating him, then come back here with him and then date Jeff, too.”

“Well…” Natalie drawled knowingly, “Maybe I didn’t see you two going to the military of all places, but I’m pretty sure I pictured you and them being a thing years ago.” 

You chuckled. You couldn’t find it in you to be modest because you’ve had the same thoughts—the same hopes for years. 

“I’m just… really happy.”

“I fucking bet. You got that glow on you,” Natalie jested, then winced before murmuring a ‘sorry’ for her language with Mason around. She coughed, murmuring, “He uh, he didn’t mean it like that, just letting you know.” 

Kevyn raised a brow, only for his eyes to widen in realization, “Oh, no, no, no. I just—Y’know, this is kinda new to me and–”

You couldn’t help but laugh, dismissing his worries with a wave of a hand, “Kev, I hear you. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

Kevyn nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “Congrats, by the way. Jeff sure as hell didn’t stop talking about you when we met up in the gym last week.”

The corners of your lips quirked a little, “Thanks, guys,” 

You offered Mason a cinnamon roll in a paper tray, “And this is on the house. Nat told me you scored twice in the last game. Good job, kid!” 

“Well, well, well,” Lo and behold came Phil, nodding curtly at Natalie before shaking Kevyn’s hand, “Ma’am. Detective. Kid.”

“Commander.” Kevyn greeted back, “Leaving your girl to work the stall alone?”

“She ain’t in one of the best task forces for nothin’. And besides, we’re always keepin’ an eye on her.” Phil told him with pride, one of his arms immediately snacking around your shoulders upon arriving behind the counter next to you, followed by his brother.

“Got this for you.” Jeff passed you a tall takeaway cup, his heart fluttering at the sight of your eyes widening in recognition.

You knew the distinct cup anywhere. Plus, nobody at the festival used chantilly cream instead of the regular whipped one to top their hot chocolate, further sweetening the already decadent drink. 

“I didn’t know they still had this.” You accepted the drink with gratitude.

“Ed took over the business two years ago,” Jeff explained, not directly telling you that he’d also always get the beverage to reminisce his time with you, and now, he was able to share it with you once again, and more to come, “His dad said he always made it best. Tastes like it’s always been.”

Just the way you like it.

You smiled around the rim, taking a little sip of the warm drink, and it was a sight the brothers could not look away from as they stood on either side of you, holding you close, barely caring about their customers witnessing the intimate moment.

Natalie, not wanting to stick around, piped up, “Okay, shit, would you look at the time,” She dug her wallet out of her purse, “Let me just, uh–”

“But you said I was gonna pay—” Kevyn raised a brow, watching Natalie slap a wad of cash, a few units too much onto the counter. She passed the detective one of the boxes and held the other before leading him and Mason away from the lovey-dovey scene, screaming a ‘thanks’ over her shoulder. 

You watched as the three retreated, inwardly apologizing to them for the display of affection. 

“Look at that,” Phil arranged the money in an orderly manner before placing it into his mother’s cash box, “Your first sale, and a couple o’ tips t’spare. Y’think everyone might leave the pretty girl here a tip or two tonight?”

Jeff agreed without question, “I would.”

You fondly rolled your eyes, ”Flatterers.”

“Just you wait,” Phil grinned, “Next thing y’know, everyone’s waitin’ for Mama’s baked goods just t’see her pretty lil’ in-law.” 

Phil knew what he was doing when he referred to you as Mama’s daughter-in-law—being their sweet wife—and how could you have controlled the shy smile blooming on your lips? It was a bold statement to make considering how the three of you weren’t even a year into the relationship, but they were anything but doubtful if time, and hope, ever came to that.

For now, you were just enjoying discovering the connection as it was.

Jeff brushed his lips along your temple, motioning to the hot chocolate, “You like it?”

“I love it,” You tilted your head at him, tiptoeing to kiss his lips and damn, if he wasn’t a fan of hot chocolate already. He returned to soft look you had upon pulling away, even if he wanted nothing more than to chase after your lips, “And I love you,”

You turned your head to Phil, who was already reappearing to your right. A giggle bubbled in your throat as he was the one who initiated the kiss, eager for the rich notes on your lips, “And I love you, too.”

You could only laugh and squirm as they pressed you in between them to cover whatever skin was exposed with all the kisses they could give you, careful not to shake too much and spill your drink. Mama returned soon after, no longer surprised by the little cuddle party she was witnessing despite only leaving the three of you alone for less than ten minutes.

She was just enjoying the moment as much as you were, to be able to share a moment you thought would’ve been nothing more than an old memory to look back on.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

» a/n: my lovelies UGH I can't STAND THEM ㅠㅠ ;; gorgeous divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

[jessoloslemons]

Been thinking...

So, because of the absence of brozone's parents in the 3rd movie, we assume that they either were killed or terrible parents, so comes in John having to raise his siblings (presumably) by himself. Their grandma probably not being much help.

We usually talk about the stress and impact it probably had on John, suddenly having to step us as the leader of the household at such a young age, but what about Bruce - the second oldest?

Bruce probably witnessed the change of character of John, watching his brother force himself to mature. From being a goofy and playful older brother who loved to sleep in, to someone who'd already be busy in the morning and somehow always tired, a sad look evident in his eyes. Especially when their younger brothers started to enter the picture.

He would notice how there would already be breakfast on the table once he awakes, how JD would immediately take action whenever either Clay or Floyd would start to cry or throw a tantrum, immediately running to their side cheering them up, and how the eldest would always be the last to sleep and the first to wake up the next day.

He'd also witnessed John start Brozone, and he'd do his best to help, just wanting to see his brother genuinely smile again. All he wanted was to see the brother who would give him piggyback rides every morning as their mom would make breakfast, the brother who'd easily laugh at his jokes and make funny faces all the time, the brother who'd chase him around the pod then proceeding to tickle him relentlessly once he caught him. He just wants his older brother back. To see him again.

But after years passed, and his younger brothers started to get involved in the boyband and a new baby arrives (Branch), that hope started to feel impossible. John was now annoying, controlling, and obsessed with being perfect. Barely thinking about the well-being of others at this point, his only goal is to please the fans and make sure Brozone is in top shape.

Bruce hated this. He hated the toxicity weighing down their relationship as brothers. He hated always being told to do better because it's always never enough. He hated John, and it hurts him to feel that way towards his first friend, and now first enemy.

And so you bet it broke his heart immensely when the boyband broke up, and that John was the first to leave. Not even leaving with a proper goodbye or a guarantee that he's coming back. Not even bothering to look back at any of his brothers, not even to him.

But even if he was so angry and tired of his shit that night, a distant part of his heart sobbed when John left the pod. If he didn't have self-control and pride, he'd probably just break down there and then. But instead, he also walked out, desperate to leave and finally be able to breathe again.

Fast forward to 20 years later, you bet it took every bit of Bruce's willpower not to tackle John in a tight hug once he laid his eyes on him again. Despite the heartaches and tears JD had caused in the past, he was still his brother, and he may not admit it out loud, but he still loves John, so much, and he missed him, so so badly.

--

Hi! So i just had an idea and knew I had to write about it right away!

John and Bruce's dynamic as siblings is totally underrated and smth we need to talk about more often ^ i love them both sm and i'd love to see them together more often and know of their relationship with one another <3

[Also i headcanon that Bruce called John Johnny as a kid, and when he calls him that now that they're older, JD is smitten and moved to tears]

Thxs for reading! Thoughts?

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Not Ready Part 2/12

+18

Part 3 and Part 4 are out on my Patreon for FREE!

Readers sister dies in a tragic car accident, leaving reader and her boyfriend Ruben in the urgent custody of her niece and nephew. Readers life is suddenly flipped upside-down since having children hadn't been the plan for her and Ruben's life together. At least not now when his football career was reaching great new heights.

Enjoy! 💞

"So you're a...."

"Puppy mom. Jupp. That's what the ladies at the park call me."

"Well, damn." Your sister laughed. "Who would have thought?"

FaceTiming her on a Saturday morning was always as entertaining and chaotic. While you held up your new puppy for your sister to see, your niece and nephew Emmy and Vale fought each other for a chance to also get to see the dog.

"Kids kids, please." Your sister pleaded. "You're scaring the puppy."

"No, it's okay. He's still sleeping." You assured. The little pup sitrred in the palm of your hand. He had grown so big during the few weeks you've had him. By now he could run around the apartment for hours on end.

"Auntie, Y/N, when can we come and see him." Your niece Emmy asked, but was pushed out of view by her little brother. 

"What's his name Auntie, Y/N. Tell us his name!"

"I asked her first." Emmy groand and soon the children were fighting again.

"Hey, hey!" You shouted from your end. "Quit it you too!"

They settled down immediately to their mother's relief. "Thank you. Now you see what I have to deal with everyday."

You beamed at your screen as all three of them appeared with their cheeks squeezed together in order to fit into the small frame.

You tilted your phone, once again showing off the sleeping puppy. The children gasped in delight.

"His name is Iker." You smiled. "And hopefully you can all come and see him during your next school break."

"Yay!" The children erupted in joyful cheers, spilling out in the kitchen and around they're mother.

"Remind me to buy you a birthday gift." She smiled.

"No. Absolutely not. You owe me nothing sis. You've practically raised me since I was a baby. I owe my life to you."

"Well, that's very kind of you to say. Although true, I really want to give you something for your birthday. It's not everyday you turn twenty-five."

"Ugh, please don't remind me."

"Remind you of what?" Ruben said, walking into the kitchen, dressed in a two piece Manchester City tracksuit.

"How old I am." You said, shifting your phone for Ruben to see that you were in a FaceTime call with your sister.

"Oh. Hi Liza. Didn't see you there."

"Hello, Ruben. I see you're ready for the big game."

Ruben approached the kitchen table where you sat, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. He leaned towards your phone, making sure that his Man City badge was visible on the screen. "Trust me Liza, City will bring it home this season once again."

"You wish." Liza snorted "Chelsea's got it together this year. I'll bet my money on that."

"Well don't bet too much of it."

"Ha ha."

Ruben moved away from the screen but just then Vale popped up. "Hi Uncle Ruben. Do you want to see my tooth." He held his mouth open with his hands, showing off his gums.

"Hi buddy." Ruben returned to the screen, his chin now resting on your shoulder. "I heard you got a visit from the tooth fairy not too long ago. Looks like she got you good, eh."

You nudged him with your elbow. Ruben chuckled, and turned to nibble at your ear.

"Just kidding buddy. You can barely tell that your tooth is missing. I promise. "

Again, your elbow found Ruben's ribcage.

"Looks like I've got to go." He groand. "Say hello to your sister for me."

"Ruben!" Emmy popped up on the screen at the mention.

"Hi sweetheart. How are you?"

"Good. Are you going to play football today?"

"Yes, I am. I was just on my way." He said, looking at you with a hand rubbing his stomach.

"Well.....then we've only got one thing to say?" 

"Oh yeah, and what is that?" Ruben turned back to the screen. The children, including your sister, backed up for him to see all three of them while they chanted: "CHELSEA! CHELSEA!" And then bursting into a heartfelt laughter before hanging up the phone.

"I'm so sorry, Ruben."

"Are you?" His cheeks blossomed. "Are you really?"

"Yes." You said, but struggled to hold in your own laughter. "It's just that they're such hard core Chelsea fans. My whole family is."

"But you're not, right?"

"Right."

He leaned in and kissed your lips. "Good. I'll see you at the game."

"Bye bye papa." You held up the dog as Ruben left the kitchen. He blew you both a kiss before leaving the apartment to yourself. 

Nevertheless, you didn't have time to do much before the game started. You made sure to walk Iker before you left him with a sitter a.k.a, Laleh. Who insisted on calling you while you were at The Etihad stadium, watching Man City's season opener game against Chelsea.

"So, a dog instead of a ring, eh?"

"Stop it Laleh, we've been over this."

"Over what?" She barked. Or it was Iker who barked, you couldn't tell sitting amongst the cheering fans.

"If Ruben wanted to propose to me he would have." You said. "There is no need to rush things. Besides, the two of us owning a dog is already enough commitment."

"Are you sure he sees himself as an owner and not just you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he bought you the dog as a gift. That makes you the sole owner of Iker not Ruben."

"It does?"

"Mhm. Seems like he tricked you girl."

"Stop it Laleh." You sighed. "Can't you be happy for me? Just this once?"

Again someone barked. 

"No." Laleh muttered. "Not if it makes me the babysitter to a little beast. Is he even potty trained?"

"Oop, got to go girl, the game is starting." The game was actually coming to end, with Man City having butchered Chelsea with a 2-0 victory. A result that Ruben would be more than pleased with.

"You feel so good baby. So tight and so wet."

You came home that night with Ruben practically escorting you towards the bedroom. There he did unspeakable things to you while riding off the high of his team's exhilarating first victory of the season.

"I love you so much, baby. Have I told you that?"

Things slowed down towards the end, with Ruben's cock still buried deep inside of you, however, his bare hips rolled against you slowly, savoring every moment that you took him into you.

"I love you so fucking much." He groaned into the crook of your neck, bottoming out. "I want us to stay like that forever, me, buried deep inside of your pussy."

"Yes, forever." You mumbled, drunk from the spine ripping pleasure.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby, so...fucking good." His release came in floods, the condom he wore filling up at the tip. Your walls clench around Ruben's wide shaft and soon you too rode the hills of your back arching orgasm. The two of you then lay quiet in the night. Unmoveable, but still attached to each other beneath your hips. Ruben didn't pull out until he was completely lank, tightening a knot around the condom before throwing the rubber into the nearest bin. The two of you then cuddled each other until you fell asleep, Ruben drifting deeper into sleep than you did. 

It was lucky that Ruben did not wake up when your phone vibrated against the nightstand, pulling you out of your brief slumber.

"Hello, Emanuel?" You rubbed your tired eyes at the sight of his name lighting up your screen. Emanuel was the name of your sister's husband, the father of your niece and nephew.

"Y/N....is that you?"

"Emmy?" You perked up at the sound of her sniffles. "Emmy what's wrong?"

"Daddy won't stop crying."

"What?" A sudden fear clenched your heart. "Is something wrong with your dad? Where's mom?"

"She's not coming back."

"Emmy, please. You're scaring me." You sat up. "Please, put mommy on the phone."

The escalation of your niece's cries sparked through your phone. "Daddy is crying because he says that mommy is not coming back. She's never coming back."

Part 3 and Part 4 are out on my Patreon for FREE!

[prettypinkporkchop]

Birthday party gone WRONG

Summary: You are turning 20-25 you pick lol. Embry is trying to give you the best birthday with the help of Quil. It's your first birthday party at you and Embry's first house you two got together! Something doesn't go right...

Warnings: slight smut, super funny overall, vomit!, language

***Inspired by the movie Plan B on hulu

Being Embry's fiance is a blast! He's always down to do fun shit. Since you've been with him, Quil has been like a brother to you! Well, it's your birthday and you know they're whipping up a plan. You're not sure what, though. Right now, Kim and Rachel have you at your favorite diner.

"God damn! This food always makes me want to cum." You take a bite.

Rachel and Kim laugh at you, eating their plates.

"The birthday girl gets what she wants." Kim winks.

"Thank you guys for treating me!" You are so engulfed with the food.

Meanwhile:

Embry puts the alcohol on the counter in front of the cashier.

"Bro! I knowwww, she will like these." Quil grabs a pack of fake mustaches.

Embry looks at him with a "really?" Face. "Put it on the counter. We've got to hurry!" Embry says.

Quil quickly grabs a bunch of them and puts them on the counter. The cashier chews her bubble gum and raises an eyebrow at them.

"Planning a wild party?" She asks.

"What can we say?" Quil jumps on the counter, sitting there as she scans stuff. He smugly looks at her, "we are the people you want to party with." He winks.

Embry pinches the bridge of his nose. "Quil." He sighs.

The girl rolls her eyes. "Counter isn't for sitting. Your total is $35.66." She pops a bubble with her gum.

Embry cringes and then pays with his card. The two guys walk outside and into Embry's truck. "Can you text Emily and see where she is on the decorations?"

Quil whips out his phone. "Sure. But next time I'm flirting, be chill. Don't embarrass me."

Embry smiles watching the road. "As if you imprinted."

"Hey, until I do, I'm a guy. Let me have some action."

----

Rachel pulls into the driveway, and you see all of your people's cars. The front porch is decorated, and you hear music. You see Embry waiting for you.

Once the car stops, you jump out and run to Embry he catches you and kisses all over your face.

"Happy birthday, baby." He smiles.

"Thank you!" You squeal.

The whole pack was there, as well as the imprints, including Nessie and Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper. Everyone but the vampers were drinking. You all wore fake mustaches and partied hard.

Slowly, as the night went on, people were leaving. Eventually, you were so drunk and tired. You realized the house was a mess, Quil, Collin, and Brady are passed out on the couch.

You sigh, looking all around the house, content with your birthday.

"I say we get to bed?" Warm and grabby hands touch your body from behind.

"Mhm. Let's go." You slur.

Embry is just as drunk as you. The kisses he leaves on your lips are hungry and devouring. His hands grab onto every part of your body. He rips off your clothes quickly. He flips you over, pushing your head down onto the bed. He slaps your ass and leans over to grab a condom out of the nightstand.

No, you don't take birth control. Yes, you've done it raw but when you two are drunk or he doesn't want to pull out, condom.

He opens it up and slides it on. He pushes himself into you. He's rough, making you cry out in pleasure. After a while in this position, he flips you over and hovers on top of you.

He goes in and lowers his hand to do some work to help you finish. He leaves sloppy wet kisses on your neck. He's going at an ungodly pace. "Embry.." You moan out as his teeth bite down on you.

Being this drunk, you don't finish, but you are okay with that. Embry did finish and plopped down on you. You both pass tf out.

You wake up sore and with a pounding headache. You still feel the alcohol a bit.

Embry is sprawled out next to you, naked. You stand up and put on his shirt and your shorts. You walk out of the room and see some of the guys passed out in your living room. You go into the bathroom and pee.

Plop.

You look down.

Condom.

Oh. God.

His semen has been inside you all night.

You clean yourself up and run into the living room. You tap Quil's face. "Hey, wake up. Emergency." You whisper yell.

He groans and twitches before sitting up. "What?" He asks snappy.

"I need a plan b. Quick."

His eyes widen. "Where's Embry?"

"Passed out. Take me to CVS or Walgreens. Help me. I'm still tipsy." You beg.

He nods his head and stands up.

He grabs the keys to your car and you both hurry outside. You buckle up and he pulls out of the driveway.

"Are you going to tell Embry?" He asks.

"I don't want him to panic." You breathe.

"Like how you are?" He smiles at you.

"Drive, Quil!" You whine.

"It's okay! Just take the plan b and the sperms will poof."

"Oh god." You groan and cover your face.

He pulls up into the CVS. "I'll pay for it. I'm also gonna get a drink. Want something?" He asks.

"No, I've got it." You reply.

"Birthday girl, shut up. Get out, let's go." He says.

You both get out of the car and walk inside. He goes to the coolers and you are walking around the feminine section. Nope.

Here? Nope.

Any? Nope.

You walk up to the lady at the pharmacy. "Ma'am? Is there any plan b?"

She looks at you with a frown. "No, sweetie. They run out fast. Try Walgreens."

Your stomach knots up, and you thank her, making your way to Quil. Why is he looking at bracelets?

"Quil." You say.

He jumps and smiles. He has two sodas in his hands, and he holds up a set of bracelets. "Friendship bracelets for us!"

You smile and shake your head. "Dork. They don't have any here. We have to go to Walgreens."

He checks out the stuff and you guys get in the car. "I want the green one." He take out the bracelet. He puts his on and hands you the other one.

You put it on and then gulp down your drink. "Next stop."

You guys make it at Walgreens. You walk inside quickly and look around for the pill. Fuck!

"Hey, ma'am? Are there any plan b's here?"

"No, sweetie. I'd look at CVS."

You get back in the car, slamming the door. Quil looks at you with concern. "Nothing?" He asks.

"We have to get it before Embry wakes up." You panic.

"Hey, hey. It's okay! We'll go to the next town over and look there."

As you two are driving to the next town, the gas tank starts dinging. Shit.

"Quil! We have to get to a gas station."

"I'm trying! Don't yell at me!" He panics.

"Sorry, sorry." You sit back and try to relax.

"We'll make it." He says.

You guys, in fact, did not make it. The car stops on the road. You turn to Quil, whose eyes are wide, and his hands grip the wheel. He is too scared to look at you.

"I know what's wrong with it... it ain't got no gas init." He quotes that meme.

You're sent off the edge. "Quil! Now is not the time to make jokes! What do we do?!" You panic again, breathing hard.

"Okay, stay in here. Keep the doors locked. I'm going to wolf walk there, get a tank of gas, and come back." He finally looks at you.

You nod your head quickly, hoping you don't get stolen while he's gone.

The road is empty, and you're surrounded by empty dirt with a single long road in front of you. You lay back in the seat, breathing calmly. Your stomach growls. Damn it. You check your phone to make sure Embry hasn't woken up yet. Thankfully, he hasn't.

You're hot, hungry, thirsty, and scared. But Quil acts fast as you see him running up to the car with a tank. He fills it up, and you unlock the doors so he can get back inside. He starts the car, and you guys drive off.

You guys get to Walgreens and see that it's CLOSED?!

"SHIT!" You yell.

Quil pats your shoulder. "We'll go to CVS."

The car ride has lasted way too long for you. Now, you're feeling sick. "Quil, pull over." You warn.

He looks over at you. "Why?" He asks.

You lean forward. "Quil..." You warn.

"Shit! Okay. Okay." He stops way too slow, and you throw up on the floorboard. It smells like actual death. Your throat burns, and your stomach feels even more empty.

"I'm so sorry." Quil says. He then makes a face and covers up his nose with his shirt.

You get out of the car and move to the back seat. "I have nothing to clean it with." You say and then lay down.

"It's okay. Stay put. I'll get us to CVS." He rolls down the windows and you take a nap.

"Y/n, wake up. We're here." He shakes you.

You sit up and get out of the car. The first thing you smell is your vomit and ew. You walk inside and you look. Looking. Looking.

YES! HERE!

You grab it quickly and check out. You run back to the car, getting in the back seat and open the box.

"Thank god!" Quil smiles.

You put the pill in your mouth and chug the rest of your drink. You wipe your mouth and then smile. "Thanks, Quil. Now take me home." You lay back down.

You are woken up with your head hitting the door and your body bouncing. You grab your head. "Ow." You groan.

"Sorry, we're back home." Quil says.

You get out of the car and walk inside with Quil. The house is still a wreck. You feel like asshole. Embry opens the bedroom door and steps out.

You stiffin' your body, scared that he'll panic when you tell him.

He scratches his side and yawns, walking in front of you and Quil. "What are you two doing?" He asks.

"We had to get a plan b." Quil spits out.

You make an angry face and turn to him.

He gasps and puts a bubble in his mouth to shut up. He looks down at the ground.

Embry nods his head, yawning again, kisses your cheek, and walks into the kitchen like it's nothing.

Oh.

[ps2dinosaur]

All right, let's talk about some Klown lore -

Lackeys are adolescent/young Klowns. The concept art has baby klown chambers hooked up to generators, so cocoon juice helps boost their maturing? Another reason to invade or just a perk?

Chubby and Fatso are outright stated to be brothers (and material lists other Klowns as having siblings) so while all baby Klowns mostly appear to be tossed together in big broods, Klowns at least know who they're related to. One joking social media post mentioned 'human parental unit' so we don't know if Klowns have parents or are just raised in groups.

I think I heard during a dev stream (when they were talking about the boat escape) that Klowns cannot swim.

According to the creators (who attended a stream) The women trapped in balloons in the movie do NOT get transformed into Klownettes. Men, women and children get trapped in balloons too for later. Everybody gets equal treatment.

Wesker Newton refers to Klowns as 'fumble fingers' and clumsy. That and humans are nimbler, able to vault and climb through windows. Klowns may be more durable, but humans may be more dexterous.

The bigger and stronger a Klown is, the higher in the hierarchy they seem to be.

Klowns do eat each other. At least Klownzilla does. And the Chiodo Brothers mention that fellow Klowns aren't safe from pranks and shadow puppets - as long as it's funny, it goes. That said, a Klown is probably more likely to survive a prank from another Klown.

Klowns can be resurrected in-universe (at least in the game) after having their nose popped, courtesy of resurrection machines. Which would probably explain why the invasion is still going strong after the humans figured out such a big weakness and why they haven't been wiped out.

Klowns do get distracted by pretty humans. Or maybe just confused.

Klowns do sometimes eat human snacks like burgers and pies. (In old promotional material.)

Wesker Newton said Klownettes ‘suck the life out of you’. And have other unseen tools like propeller beanie hats that control your mind, probably why Rudy grabbed a bunch at the Drug Store.

Wesker stole Klown technowledgy, reverse engineered it, and linked humans up to it to teleport/resurrect.

Klowns show up on April 1st, which probably made it easier for the government to cover up past invasions. The most recent one is less a visit and more a full-scale takeover.

[sirellas]

post canon ds9 fic i won't write for real, in bullet points:

story starts with jake sisko, pondering and writing. he got a commission from some federation news service to do a fluff piece on "the soul of the klingon people" now that the war is over and they have a new chancellor, essentially a "look federation people, klingons are still chill. maybe chiller, even. so everybody be cool" deal (i'm imagining they have to do an article like this for every group of aliens that were a major combatant in the war) but jake takes it seriously and refuses to phone it in.

first he goes to alexander, who's visiting the station while between KDF assignments or something idk. but he says look buddy i wanna know what's up with klingons, you get me? alexander does not get him and also would like to know what's up with klingons, so he says hell yeah human friend let's figure this out.

then it becomes a series of vignettes of these two kind of out of touch young people learning about the klingon spirit and also themselves as they seek out someone who can tell them the secrets of life and honor etc etc. jake has a warped sense of normal from growing up on ds9 and alexander has never felt right in solely klingon or human spaces, so they have some gaps in their knowledge to fill.

i'm thinking they start with worf and martok, who are busy on qo'nos building their credibility and new government. worf isn't great at talking about feelings and martok's being pulled in a lot of different directions, so they're not much help. hanging around on qo'nos is interesting, but ultimately not what jake and alexander are looking for either.

then they start thinking outside the box. order isn't important but they start hitting up all relevant klingons and klingon adjacent folk: darok, sirella, ezri, nikolai, kurn, maybe a duras sisters cameo for equal representation of shitty klingons.

last we saw of kurn of course he had lost his memory but since this is my fic i'm not writing i'm gonna say bashir's not as great at brain reconfiguration as he thinks he is and it didn't take fully. so he's a little confused but getting the hang of it. a lot of "which one of you is my nephew again? i can't tell humans apart" kind of deal even though alexander is 3/4 klingon. he tells them what he's re-learned about klingons since he's been rebuilding his own identity.

nikolai also was essentially exiled but it's fine. he's got a gaggle of kids now and alexander and jake have to do the fake forehead thing to blend in while they talk to him. nikolai's got a lot of insight into worf as a brother but not much on klingons as a whole. alexander brings him some pierogi helena made.

alexander: "wow my foster uncle's wife looks a lot like your stepmom, isn't that funny?" jake: "nah i don't see the resemblance"

maybe at this point nog joins them because he's having his own identity crisis as the only ferengi in starfleet so he decides to just hop on board for jake and alexander's identity crisis.

they go see jeremy aster too, the kid from tng who became worf's brother through a whole thing, and he's got a pretty interesting view of klingons and the klingon spirit from an outsider/insider perspective.

sirella and darok are probably the least helpful but i think sirella baby-ing alexander would be fun. they're both trying to deny it and deny how much they like the attention (sirella at having a new-ish nephew-ish and one who wasn't raised klingon so she can do all the classic klingon things with him fresh, and alexander at having a(nother) mother figure to love him). jake is studiously taking notes in the corner while sirella tries to teach him how to skin a fresh kill or something like that.

anyway this whole journey ends with them finding kahless 2 (the clone of kahless) whose only occupation is thinking about the klingon spirit. but his wisdom boils down to "everyone's different and everyone has to figure shit out on their own, but together we can strive to be greater than yesterday" etc etc and jake gets his article. alexander reaffirms his grasp on his cultural identity and also gets to see a lot of his family so he's reminded that he's loved, even if everyone is doing their own thing. and nog develops a huge crush on sirella. everybody's happy.