#but they think that it doesnt work as it is and go and make up all this stuff about the characters when the reasons are literally right the

[softness-and-shattering]

I think the OP message is for people who can only conceive of disabled people as burdens who givw nothing. Theyre wrong, but they also need to know they cant leave us behind, and if to reach them that needs to be phrased as "some people will never contribute and still deserve help" then so be it, meet people where they are.

Theyre still wrong. EVERYONE contributes just by being. Because you still interact with people, smile at people, thank people, provide company and companionship and friendship and partnership and perspective and experience. You even Contribute To The Economy by buying things, paying bills and rent, groceries. If all anyone values is the economy youre still contributing to it!

But most of all youre alive and thats what matters. Youre a person who has relationships that changes you and changes the people you know. and you.make things even if you never publish even if youre never famous for it, youre creating things that now exist in the world because of you. Every post you make impacts other people, interests them, makes them snort or laugh or cry or think.

Youre worth *everything* because you are human and you are alive. That worth is inherent, it doesnt need to be earned and cant be lost or taken away. You are worthy. You are valuable. Your presence makes things better for everyone - most of all yourself, but not at all exclusively.

You ran into your limits, and thats difficult and disappointing and worth mourning. And worth seeing what version of your dreams you can reform into something that might be achievable for you now.

Idk some days I feel like Ive whittled my dreams down too small and somedays theyre down to nothing. The big dreams dont go away though, just the achievable steps. Like Im not going to be a published author or well known well selling artist next week, but more days than not I can practise some technique some creativity for a few hours, a few minutes, sometimes not at all but often I can still do *something*. And yeah it hurts, my issue isnt hubris its that my ambition always wants mw to push so much harder than Im capable of and I have to reign it in so I dont overextend and then seriously crash.

However. Its a gazillion times better than giving up on my hopes and dreams entirely, I couldnt live that way at all. I have to something Im dreaming of and working towards even if Im taking tiny little steps while others with similar dreams get a vehicle and theyre stepping on the gas. I hate that I dont get a vehicle but I cant change that. I can only do what I can do, and hold onto feelings of self worth and feeling like myself when I do get to create, and connect with people, and do what makes me feel like me.

I hope this helps. Youre allowed to mourn alternate psths you didnt take or werent able to take. Grief is not only for human death. Its for all kinds of loss.

[lostinlovingrevery]

Logan and his... "Quirks"

Everyone is a lil weird. Logan is no exception

Some nsfw headcanons below the cut, it gets weird yall. some are tame. the rest are questionable. You're gonna ask me why i was thinking about it. you don't want to know

he CANNOT sit farthest away from the door. he has to be between the door and you. yknow in case of threats

feel like he would hate microwaves. idk why, i think he would extremely distrust the idea of food being heat up by radiation (Even if it wouldn't affect him?). he cooks everything by hand.

Don't let him catch you heating your food by microwave. He'll get pissy. then he'll make your food by scratch

uses phrases that were popular like 100+ years ago that no one knows. you've had to google some of them to figure out what the hell he was talking about

he taps his fingers alot. against a table, his leg, on you. it's an anxious thing

he doesn't laugh much but when he does it's loud, hes the epitomy of the word "guffaws" bc he's so loud. most of the time when you hear him "laugh" its a quiet chuckle. it's quite joyous to hear Logan across the mansion laughing

logan, as much as he acts like a wild man, is fairly neat. like, weirdly neat about his stuff. well- stuff he cares about. his jacket, his cigars, beer, maybe a few things you gave him. he doesn't need much.

this one isn't so weird, more cute- but he loves when you pet his head. only when it's just you two though

his nails grow faster than an avg person. He constantly has to clip them. BUT he does at least make sure to clean them up

i should add that logans is obv known for calling everyone bub, and gives nicknames to everyone

(he'll call you every petname in the book)

has to have his bed made in the mornings. he gets weirdly cranky if he or you don't make the bed and it's messy when going to bed that night (the man leaves his dirty laundry all over the room but doesn't like his bed not being made???)(nesting...)

hates the smell of incense (too strong) but he doesn't mind a few of the vanilla smelling candles. or the outdoorsy type ones

def will pick up new hobbies at random and then drop them (ahem i do that to)

doesn't finish his beer. he'll have a little left and go open a new one anyway

he acts like he's so gruff but he's actually like so polite about things when in someones house/the mansion. it takes you aback how nice he'll be. (x2 logan was just a bit stress don't worry about him raiding bobbys parents fridge)

ill add his fear of flying in here too

honestly he probably just doesn't like heights in general. he'll do it, go in tall buildings, planes, all of that (as well as we all seen) but don't catch him sightseeing out of the 70th floor of the skyscraper yall are in

he probably likes to wear all those layers because he doesnt let his hair grow out like he could. have you seen how much hair he can get? he keeps himself trimmed for you (if you want to call it that). the layers protects from the cold he gets from not being a hairy beast (let him be hairy)

oral fixation... i'll put this in nsfw

this isn't really weird...but he's able to sit in silence for a long time. just watching the view (you)

hes not an early bird. he'll get pissy if you are, because he wants you in bed with him. (people gotta work logan...)

leaves a clean plate of food. he doesnt like waste.

likes to grab you. hes gotta be holding onto you. even if he's single he's gotta be doing something (smoking, tapping his foot, leaning on someone), when he's with you though, you're his grounding.

NSFW

will drool during sex. he tries to control it. sometimes you feel too good though-

gets incredibly horny after missions. good luck.

also when after he goes into a burst of rage. good luck with that too

honestly he just has a high sex drive. he's a bit of a freak. it's not every time but rarely does he not get hard around you- at the scent of you

The moment you wake up in the morning, logan tells you "your period started" before you even have a chance to even fully wake up, only to realize that indeed you did start your period

he could smell it

dude is really intense about smelling

when it comes to you though he's REALLY intense about it. you know how dogs are when they smell you after you come home. logan is no different

can and WILL smell your armpits and feet if he gets the chance. it may gross you out but shits heavenly to him because thats where you smell the strongest. if you don't let him smell you he'll go for the laundry

your neck too

the man leaks so much pre-cum just at the thought of you. you'd think he came right there in his pants

does not care about you walking into him in the bathroom. he has no shame

honestly id think he'd like footjobs. not because he's got a feet thing- but like feet is where your strongest smells come from and if you...do that. his thang will smell like you

will eat you out and do you on your period btw. no shame

i don't think logan will say no to much in bed, except for the really disgusting ones, or the ones inviting other people in. he's not going to share you, or himself.

definitely has a thing about mounting you. he doesn't do it all the time but sometimes he'll lose himself and next thing you know is biting your neck and thrusting you doggy style, grunting and whining, and he won't stop till he's satisfied. the others have expressed worry over the deep teeth marks in your neck (Is he trying to maul you? - Scott)

doesn't like washing the bed sheets after you two do your thing. will complain but you have to bc you both are fairly active together in that department and you do not need your bedsheets become solid like rock. he just likes the scent :(

loves it when you lick his hands/knuckles

i think we all agree, the claws COME OUT when he cums. hes extremely careful about his hand placement bc of this.

back to oral fixation. if he doesn't have a cigar, toothpick, gum, his next best thing is you.

will SUCK on your skin. hard.

This is all i got for now, some probably really aren't a quirk but my brain was just typing what I could think of...might make more. Feel free to reblog and add your own!!

pain kink. a bad one. we all agreed on this i believe.

You know how animals have displays to attract mates? Logan is no different. When hes in the mood, hell puff himself out to you, do things he thinks youll like. I mean, i suppose avg males do this too but logan gets repetitive over it until you notice.

[lexirosewrites]

Hello, I saw you only had one submission for tomorrow and so I have come with Thoughts that I have made just for this. It's Steddie but we're going to focus on Max for context and fluff; you CANNOT have O!Steve without considering his pups, okay??

Max, with all her Family Issues, doesn't always immediately believe that people care about her, at least as much as she cares about them??? And also, she's never going to SAY she cares. You kind of just have to Figure It Out through proximity and the rare times she is willing to imply she would not say no to your company or assistance.

As such, she knows O!Steve cares about her. He got hit in the head with a fucking plate for her (and the others, but it was Billy, so it was also very for her), not to mention the rest of the UD stuff with him protecting everyone. But she doesn't really know that A!Eddie cares about her like that?? It's not like she thinks Eddie doesn't like her, they talk and joke and he gives her rides to group events because they're neighbors, but there's a difference between "I don't mind this kid" and "i care about what happens this pup," you know? She's not offended, it's just a fact of life that not everyone is going to be particularly concerned with her.

Max used to show up randomly at Steve's to spend the night when home was a bit much, but then Eddie and Steve started dating. Steve would never ask her not to come over even if Eddie is there, and Eddie might not mind her presence sometimes, but she doesn't want to impose so she just deals with it and stays home.

Maybe one day she's out on her skateboard after Hellfire (she doesnt play, but she and El hang out in the vicinity and talk), and the weather turns bad super quick. Thunder, lightning, freezing cold, pouring rain, the works. She doesn't have any change to use a payphone, so she's like tucked under an awning that shields her from about 10% of the rain.

A car comes by after about half an hour, and she gets briefly blinded by the headlights, but then they're driving away. Except then they're not. The car did a super illegal U-turn and is parked on the sidewalk, and it's not a car, it's a van. It's Eddie's van, and he's jumping out of the driver's seat and running over. He's got his leather jacket on, but as soon as he's next to Max, he's taking it off and holding it out to block her from the rain.

They run back to the van, Max still wrapped in his jacket, and Eddie cranks up the heat and starts rambling about trying to find her while he starts driving. Max is like "?? Find me??? You saw me half an hour ago???? Weren't you going to your boyfriend's????" And Eddie looks at her like she's speaking in tongues and is like "yeah?? And then it started fucking pouring so I called your house to make sure you got home okay but no one picked up. I drove over to see if you were just asleep, but no one was at your trailer so I came looking. "

Max is like. Positive she's not processing this correctly. So she's like "you were at your boyfriend's house. And you stopped your date to call me. And when I didn't pick up, you left your date. To drive all the way home, in this weather. And then drove around to find me because I wasn't there." And Eddie's just like "yeah, that's about it"

And look, Max isn't just going to Announce that this sounds like absolute nonsense, because that's a bit too much vulnerability, but it's probably written on her face, because Eddie glances over and suddenly the van is full of Reassuring Protective Alpha scent. His tone is super light and chill (probably for her benefit) but he just goes "like it or not, Red, you're one of my pups now. I might have to share you with Stevie, because he'd fight me for sole custody in a heartbeat, but that just means you're ours. Now come on, you haven't been home in ages and Stevie missed you."

Max just kind of looks at him confused, but then she looks out the windshield and they're at Steve's house, and Steve is already throwing open the door looking super relieved and he runs over with like a huge umbrella and holds it over Max specifically while he gets her inside, and he fusses over her and she allows it (just this once) and then she takes a shower to warm up and when she gets out there's a pair of Steve's shorts and Eddie's shirt waiting for her to put on while her stuff dries and their scents are super nice together and they smell like Home and Pack. Then they all drink hot chocolate and watch a movie and Max stays the night and never worries about coming over again.

The End and whatnot

-irrelevantbutembarrassing

🥲🥲🥲 she’s their pup

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

thinking about how milevens tend to assume that bylers want mileven to break up just because we want byler to happen.

no love

wanting byler to be canon and wanting mileven to break up are two separate wants.

Mike and El have their own story outside of will. Even if Mike wasn't queer and Will wasnt around this story would still be their story. Will may be a character in their story but the story is still about mike and el. Mike and Els story line is the marriage of the two of their two individual character arcs.

El's story arc is based around the fact that she was abused as a child and was dehumanized to an extreme level that no child should ever experience. She does not have an identity of her own. She wasn't raised to even expect to have one in the first place. Her story is learning to be able to her own person. To just be herself and learning who that person is.

When she met mike she created an identity around him. and identity of being the super powered mage who saved the day. that was El. then she became mikes gf and suddenly she was now "mikes gf". It wasnt until she met max that someone actually tells her that she is allowed to be her own person. "theres more to life than stupid boys" "what feels right" before Max she was just existing trying to play a role of what she was supposed to be rather than figuring out who she was or who she wanted to be. What she wanted. El is not raised to have wants. El was raised to be a weapon, a lab rat, a tool that does what they are told.

When this story intersects with a story arc like Mike has you get the disaster that is Mileven.

Mikes story arc is actually very similar. Mike is a very codependent person. He wants to feel needed. he wants to feel useful. If he doesnt have a use to someone he thinks he must be a waste of space. Mike doesnt know who he is outside of other people. He has never explored what he wants for himself. He is for other people. As a codependent person myself i can relate to this a lot. It can be hard to know what YOU want for yourself, outside of people you care about. Mike puts his loved ones before himself so much to the fact that it tends to get him into trouble more often than not. The issue with being codependent is that you become almost blind to who YOU are and what YOU need. you suppress your emotions for other people and these emotions only tend to surface when you realize that holy shit. i cant do anything here. This is the situation mike is finding himself in during season 4 and continuing into season 5. there is nothing he can do anymore. it is clear that him putting el above his own feelings and giving her what she wants in his attempt to help is not working. In fact its HURTING his relationship with el. Now mike doesnt know what to do. so he's drifting. El was his trauma partner. when things get too hard and too confusing he retreats into "el mode" where his only thought is what El needs. This is not a healthy mindset AT ALL. no matter how much the media romanticizes that sort of thing. IT IS NOT HEALTHY. you cant live like that. but now El has communicated "i dont want that. stop lying and get your shit together".

so mike is stuck. and el is stuck.

because theirs is a coming of age story. however not all coming of age stories are romantic. Mike and El cannot communicate with each other. they are both selfishly selfless in the way they treat each other.

I am going to be who you want me to be because i think thats what you want and it makes me feel secure.

this is not something you want in a relationship. a relationship is based on trust and vulnerability. being able to be youre rawest and truest form of yourself for another person. and feeling seen and loved despite it.

this is not present AT ALL in mileven as a couple. they are both discovering who they are still and are not space to be doing that in a relationship where they feel the need to hide themselves from each other. you cant find yourself that way.

wow look how much nuance i pulled from mike and el without mentioning will once. wow its almost like will is not the reason their relationship is failing

[crushedsweets]

How do they make fun of Nina?

AHHH i have such a long answer for this cuz its smth that i think abt a lot but i havent really talked abt it bc i get so frustrated On her behalf LOL...ill try to be quick

they'll harmlessly tease her for a lot of stuff like her clothes("who the hell wears knee high converse still"), dating choices ("and why exactly are you with that loser"), general dramatic behavior ("can you calm down nina its not that deep"), etc.

most of the time, she can brush it off like "OH MY GODDD guys you just dont get itttttttt" and giggle cuz she trusts theyre just teasing affectionately. but sometimes she gets defensive, or they catch her at a bad time, or it's a very specific phrase that gets her really worked up. and toby/clocky dont know when to back down, cuz theyre stubborn and think shes too sensitive if she gets upset

...so.

in that specific comic, i was imagining she was venting about stupid work drama. toby starts laughing at her, clocky is like "youre so dumb why are you getting involved with that shit". nina's been having a rough week so she gets kinda snappy going on about "its my job i spend half my week there and im friends with some of them like im gonna get involved clocky". meanwhile, toby and clocky just keep ragging on her about how shes alwaaayyysss in drama, always getting worked up, shes so sensitive, generally kinda talking down on her. and eventually shes like HOLY FUCK IHATE YOU GUYS SHUT UP

ok i know im the one who headcanoned them like this but toby and clocky make me so mad for this LMMMAAAOOOOOO

theyre huge stubborn hypocrites who think that THEIR emotional responses are displays of strength/self respect/power, while nina and jacks are displays of weakness/being a doormat. they believe that nina and jacks kindness, sensitivity, and desire for connection is pathetic, and these qualities of theirs get amplified when theyre together. which is why they validate their behavior while making fun of ninas

clocky is first to finally settle down and realize she's being an asshole because this is how SHE learned to protect herself through years of abuse and bullying, but not how NINA learned to protect herself through her own abuse/bullying. something about fight, freeze, fawn, flee all being different, but valid, responses to trauma

I'D ALSO LIKE TO SAY nina isnt the like group punching bag or anything by any means. theyre all still very protective of her, care about her, and do take care of her in their own ways. kate doesnt make fun of her at all (just cuz kate doesnt really sit around and make fun of anyone but toby), and jack is much more in tune with boundaries and her emotions. toby and nina are just the easiest to mess with cuz they both give funny reactions

[flo-zoinks]

How would the gang react if you reveal ur a time traveler

Okily dokily!!!!

HOW EACH RDR2 GNG MEMBER WOULD REACT TO YOU BEING A TIME-TRAVELER (MY OPINION)

This is VERY vague. So I'm going to imagine this scenario you're from 1920 USA with lots of inside info on the vld gang cuz theres more I can do w that lol, and a person similar to John in terms of age/likeness/physicality. Imagine this is aprx chap 2.

Arthur - probably not have many questions really, just ask you why you'd come to this time of all times (he thinks you're stupid)

Hosea - only asks if John finally left with his family, and if everything actually does fall to bits. Doesn't really care for asking how he dies himself - In fact he doesn't want you to tell him

Dutch - Immediately asks if he dies for an ideal, or if he becomes someone of great reverence post mortem. When he doesn't like the answer he says he can't be kept by the lines society has decided for him so will disobey and flee "like Cain was once he was shun"

Reverend - says you're either deep in substances or have demons in you. Insists you must be a satanic lunatic and leaves with his head up. Later drunk he reveals he worries you're real and asks if God ever gives him a chance

Pearson - "heh...lemme guess...I'm in the books..ain't I?" "Ok you're lying though"

Sadie - asks when she will die and see Jake, and (if before this) asks if she gets to avenge his death

Charles - questions only on the land, and if the colonists finally destroy all of it by then, and on behalf of the natives. Otherwise tells you he's not interested in what will be otherwise

Micah - knows he's in the history books, so just walks off trying to be nonchalant. "Then I guess you know who I am.." (hes really close and breathing quite loudly)

Abigail - forgets herself to bombard you with questions about Jack and John, if they ever move away, if Jack grows up proper and they live till old. She starts sobbing after

Jack (1907) - wants to know if he becomes a writer, then whilst embarrassed quietly asks if his Father stays for real this time. Later tells you about a book he read with a similar premise. Your answer makes him quiet and hee doesnt speak for a while

John - Can't even think of what to ask, so just says like "ok- do-" then says he'll get back to you when he has something good to ask. Later: "wait-wait I got a good one... (some stupid question about future inventions)"

Trelawny - "I am a magician, too! I suppose we are both similar as such.." however he gets too freaked out and goes back to his family for a while

Javier - IMMEDIATELY only wants to know about the Mexican Revolution; was it successful? Did his family live? Does he return to Mexico? He refuses to believe your answer about him in Mexico in 1911 working for the government, insisting he would never pick that over his own life. Refuses to believe John would be the one to kill him, too. Angrily storms off after threatening you if you spit lies like that again (even if you proved to him ur fr)

Bill - gets scared of you thinking you have some other powers too, but then tries to toughen up and look unafraid. Demands, asks to know if becomes respected and feared in the future. Air punches when he hears he runs his own gang, then just looks straight up HURT hearing John kills him (trying to mask it) "But why wouldn't we be friends?"

Uncle - "you should be well aware then...of when the Lumbago gets to me.. where in the history books is that?"

Molly - quietly asks if everyone grows to like her (very embarrassed). She gets silent after your answer and goes to sit far away in camp for a while. Dutch later says to you that "you better not have put her in some mood"

Karen - says shes too sober for this, promptly grabs a drink and tells you she doesn't have anything to ask, but wishes she did. Avoids you afterwards fearing she was too open with you then.

Tilly - asks if she has a run-in with the foreman boys again. Otherwise then that she asks what cool things have been invented since

Mary-Beth - fascinated by future books, and asks if you have a novel from the future you could show her. She doesn't believe she could ever be a writer so doesn't ask.

Grimshaw - thinks you're a freak for coming here, saying "we are doing just fine! She does inquire about her girls though, if they all do well. She grows very strict with Karen there on, but also nicer

Sean - "do I become the big dog of the camp? Replace ol' king Arthur? Hahaha" a string of random questions , giving you no time to answer each one. He actually walks off before you can answer them thinking of more questions

Lenny - starts thinking if its okay to know about the future before responding, if theres no consequences, or if we as people should be able to. Decides he's better safe then sorry, and asks camp to be responsible. Dutch and him debate this

Kieran - asks if they finally accept him, and if the O'Driscolls come back. Grows very anxious at your response and spends the day cleaning the horses whilst trying to gather his thoughts to act upon.

[arthur-lesters-spinal-cord]

Bellaverse au!

Hello and welcome to an idea thats been spinning around my head for months.

The basics:

Arthur runs away from his marriage when Faroe is born, Bella survives Faroes birth.

Bella is tied to a fractured piece of Lillith.

Bellas version of Parker is a newly freed from the dreamlands Noel.

Its a really long one so its going under the cut. Props to you if you manage to read this.

Pretty much everything we know before the birth of Faroe stays the same. Neither Bella or Arthur love one another, they are still both trapped in their relationship.

On the day Faroe is born after getting drunk in the bar Arthur decides to run away from his obligations to his wife and family. He isn’t justified and he knows this. However when has guilt stopped Arthur from being selfish and trying to escape his problems? He ends up in New York but this isnt about him.

Bella survives the birth but there were complications and she has to stay in hospital much longer than would be normal, the whole time never receiving word from her husband. Once she gets out of the hospital she finds that Arthur is missing, the things he could carry (ie clothes and any thing bearing a deep significance to him) removed from their house, only a wad of cash and a hastily written apology in Arthurs handwriting remain.

Instead of going back to her father (who she blames for making her marry Arthur in the first place) Bella decides to raise Faroe on her own. Moving to Arkham she works as a tailor. When people ask her about her child and lack of husband she says she is a widower. Which is not wholly a lie, Arthur is dead to her.

A few years later Bella has a sizeable order to fulfil but if she manages it she would have the money to buy her own shop and create a business instead of working from her flat. Often when she has a large order her friend, Tess helps her out by looking after Faroe. Tess works as a nanny to a few of the families in the area. On the night of this particular order Tess is working and cant help Bella. Tess does however, come over to help out before she has to go to work. Just before leaving she turns on the water for Faroes bath for Bella telling her to turn it off in a few minutes. Bella works with the radio on, she doesnt like silence. It reminds her of growing up and the more recent memory of the hospital ward. Knowing she needs to get this order finished so that she and Faroe can get a better life for themselves she pours all her energy into completing the clothes. She doesn’t hear Faroes cries for help over the radio and her own thoughts on the life this could bring her.

Its only late at night once her work is complete does she remember, and by then its too late.

Faroe is buried in the Saltzman family plot. The funeral is the first time Bella sees her father in years. He asks her to come back to New York with him, she is riddled with guilt over the idea of being where she could’ve raised Faroe, where her daughter would have been safe from her negligence. She goes anyway, she cant think of any other options, what choice does she really have?

Bella begins to drink away her troubles, funded by Daniel trying to help in any way he can but not really understanding how to help in the first place. So he does what he can by making sure Bella has everything she wants, this is not necessarily good for Bella.

Its one day slumped over a bar that she meets a man in a similar position to her. He is gaunt, scarred and starving, with long uncut hair and a haunted look in his eye. She jokes that it looks like they've both hit rock bottom together and offers him a drink, asking if hes ever had a blood and sand. He replies with a mirthless laugh telling her hes had a bit too much of both of those things. They end up at a diner together as the man she met struggles to introduce himself as Noel Finley. They spend most of the night talking. Bella ends up spilling her guts to this stranger, ending up on his side of the table crying into his arms and once the diner closes for the night on a bench in a park. Upon finding out he has no place to stay she drags him home with her past his protests. Its the first time in ten years that someone thinks of and takes care of Charlie wanting nothing in return.

The two of them begin to re-build their lives together. Having someone to collapse onto is rather useful for the both of them. Noel re-joins the police and Bella begins with limited success to hunt for jobs herself.

At some point they move into an apartment together. Daniel thinks they are in a relationship that she doesnt want to tell him about, they arent but hes trying to be supportive anyway (Noel and Bella are the bisexual besties of all time).

After Bella helps Noel with a couple of cases that he comes home and rants about, he begins smuggling casework home with him to ask for her advice. Turns out shes a natural. They start their own private investigative agency together. Noel often deals with clients but once word gets out that one of the investigators is a woman there is an influx of women with cases for them due to the fact they trust Bella to take them seriously. Noel is terrified that it might end the same way as him and Roland, but Bella is finally enthusiastic about something and even if he cant admit it to himself he missed the job. He vets every case they take on as much as he can in order to try and avoid the supernatural if not for his new life's sake then for Bellas.

A few years down the line they end up taking the case about a woman called Hattie who has disappeared, her sister Marie is the one who goes to them. Shortly after the beginning of their investigation they find a link to a priest who has also gone missing, Noel leaves for a few weeks to follow a lead on him (i just dont want him to be Parkered and put in a closet ok). While Noel is away a book arrives in the mail.

Upon opening it Bella wakes up without her eyesight or memory and a voice in her head. Bella finds herself bound to the fragment of Lilith which was once Mr Scratch, this fragment has very little memory itself. Bella and the fragment investigate how and why they have ended up tied to one another find leads to Maries dead husband and through investigating him find the secret room in Maries house. Which in turn leads them to the farm. Bella ends up in a hospital after falling from the roof while escaping the insects. The fragment obtains a name but i dont think i want it to be Jane Doe. Feel free to suggest names, i think Evelyn is quite nice as a placeholder. Upon waking up Bella and her newly named fragment return to the farm. From here they end up falling through the portal and into another plane of existence. I dont yet know where this would be but it would be similar to the dreamlands arc of malevolent. I dont know where Lilith lives in the mythos lore but its there.

Noel returns from his trip with no idea where Bella is. His only leads are a few sightings and police reports to go off before they disappear entirely. Distraught at the fact that even though he was being careful not to let the occult get involved he has still lost a friend to the eldritch. He re-joins the police force throwing himself into his work in order to try and distract his mind from the grief. He works on the cases no one else would be willing to try, the two biggest being trying to profile a serial killer known as the butcher and then trying to find information on Charon, the smuggling ring he is looking at in malevolent cannon. Only they arent connected to the order of the Fallen Star in this universe instead they have ties to a cult of Nyalathotep.

Bella ends up meeting Lilith in her own domain as well as Kayne who is extremely interested in who is annoying his daughter (thats his job). Kayne presents more feminine when interacting with Bella. Wearing a black dress instead of a suit (fem fatale Kayne for the win). Meaning due to her presentation Kayne is referred to with she/her pronouns. Pretty much everything else with Kayne is the same since its still exactly the same guy as malevolents Kayne.

I dont think i want Liliths interactions with Bella to be identical to the King in Yellow. I will need to do some more research into Lilith before i know what happens with them but somehow Bella and the fragment return to earth. Lilith while weakened is still a threat and a presence even once they are back to their own plane.

Now what about Arthur also in New York? I know i said this isnt about him but hes still here. Arthur upon running to New York finds himself doing reasonably well. He makes enough money through his composing and is able to make ends meet. He begins to hang out in bohemian circles again, and ends up gaining a patron who is willing to support his music. Arthur slowly ends up being indoctrinated into a cult. Specifically a cult to Nyalathotep. (It feels like a good time to admit the first bellaverse fic i read was an arkayne fic). Over the years Arthur ends up leading this cult, turns out his patron was infact Kayne messing with different universes and seeing how much he could corrupt this version of Arthur (he wasnt the reason Arthur ran, that part was all Arthur himself). This Arthur is actually the reason Kayne shows an interest in this universe. However, after meeting Bella Arthur becomes more of a hobby he has a vague disinterest in, used more as a way to pass the time than anything else since Bella is the more interesting one.

Arthur within this au acts as Larson does in malevolent. This is way for Bella to deal with her past as well as letting Bella punch him (at least). He is rather influential and has a lot of ties to different organisations despite rarely leaving his home north of New York except to go on tours (this version of Arthur used the cult to obtain fame as a musician).

If there is a situation similar to the order of the fallen star in episode 40 Kayne probably kills Arthur.

Kayne and Liliths relationship are a parallel to Bella and Daniels relationship. Yay for shitty father daughter dynamics. A lot more about Kayne and Lilith get to happen since they are the two main eldritch entities in this. The King in Yellow also lost a fragment of himself. I think that is actually with Larson but he is off doing his own thing, maybe he finds Noel at some point, who knows (aka i have only just thought about this).

Allright I think thats everything. If you made it this far i am kissing you on the forehead. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!

Heres a drawing of Bella

Oh and if you have any ideas what to name this au or the fragment of Lilith please feel free to share them (i am so bad at naming things)

[syxoki]

my mouthwashing characters headcanons :3

Daisuke ><

Japanese from his mom and filipino + mexican from his dad

Grew up in japan until he was three, before moving to hawaii. Speaks japanese, english and a tiny tiny bit of spanish.

If im not wrong, hes rather rich, so he never really had money problems before.

Only child, even if he sometimes wished he wanst.

HE HAS A TONGUE PIERCING.

He often have tension with his mom, since shes rather strict, and often wants him to follow the path she trace for him.

Is a mitski fan and have gone to two of her concerts

Still secretly have plushies from when he was little

Was kinda a smart kid at school

Has a biggg collection of yaoi and yuri (that he hide from his mom)

HES SO GYARUO CODED

Tried playing re2 remake, stopped when mr x started going at him bc it was stressing him out

Definitely watched alien stage and cried his eyes out

Smells like soft citrus and a tiny bit of weed

says random brainrot quotes during the day (hes just like me fr)

Pansexual, fight me

Anya <3

Slavic/russian (she also give off french vibes but idk) but lived in london before going to work on the ship.

Lesbian, but before moving out of her parents house she had to hide it from them bc they were really conservative and religious, even if she discovered she was gay at like 12

Loves those old movies from the 70s or with a same vibe like girl, interrupted or movies with shelley duvall.

She lovesss dazey and the scouts

Did ballet when she was little

Knows how to play piano and violin

Have a black cat name midi 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Likes horror in general but get scared

Has insomnia

She have *hematophobia (just like me fr🗣️🗣️)

(*fear of blood,wounds or very gore things)

Smells like rubbing alcohol and lavender.

Curly (big tits)

British and german

He gives off very very heterocurious vibes.

Gymbro i fear.

Smells like vanilla.

Freaking huge, like, everywhere.

Knows jimmy since their last year of highschool. Gone to the same college as him and all.

Is such an enabler of rape and all that shit OH MY FREAKING GOD. I think that even if he respect women, he still have those Misogynistic stereotypes in his brain. People need to get that hes not the good guy in mouthwashing. (i still love him tho)

like jazz

Have a phobia of snakes..

Has a dad bod ngghhh..

Has kind of a big family (2 sisters and 3 brothers.)

Is such a people pleaser omfg.

Jimbalaya...

American, and a lil bit of turkish origins (from his dad)

(Tw for this one : sa, incest,pedophilia, child abuse) I hc that younger his dad sa'ed him. His life was a terrible hell before having the legal age (and even after) to get out of his family. He got abused in so many ways bruh. (doesnt make any of his actions anymore valid ofc)

Also got several girls pregnant before anya, he guess most of them aborted, but he never bothered or cared to check if he got a kid or not..

Had a BIG nirvana phase in his teenage years. Also hate those people who wears those preppy nirvana shirts.

Smells like cigarettes and cheap cologne

doesnt really gaf about his hygiene most of the time

Attempted several times, curly was the one stopping him most of the time.

Type of guy to say "OF detected, opinion rejected" on a random girl page then get an Subscription to the said girl OF 10min later..

Was half joking about the cartoon horses thing..☹️

fucking hate kids

Has a little sister tho, which is, surprisingly, surely one of the only thing he genuinely care about, always was worried for her when he left the family home and has to leave her alone with their parents.

Is kinda homophobic asf but fetishize lesbians (my nightmare).

Has SEVERE religious traumas and mommy issues.

Swansea (Hold on Swansea, im 𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝔂 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼)

American and australian

Have 3 kids, two daughters and one son, also love his wife so freaking much

Play candy crush ans those shitty random mobile games

Smells like a hint of metal and axe deodorant

Dog person

Is such an old man, daisuke always have to explain to him what to do when it comes to things like smartphones,internet,pcs 😭

Was in the football team of his highschool younger

Is so loud in the bathroom at like 6am for no freaking reasons omfg, average dad experiences

Use "👍🏻" for Everything

thats all i have for him im sorry 😔

[almalvo]

hi guys sorry ive been gone

hey yall. i hope youre doing ok.

so many of these, right? im sorry...

i know i have been silent on this platform, its because life hit another road bump and i just wasnt able to focus on more than one platform for a while due to the stress and pressure, so i took a hiatus on everywhere but twitter. i was focusing on twitter and suddenly out of nowhere got hit with an erroneous suspension (twitter's automated system thought i was a bot, so im trying to get this appealed so we will see, fingers crossed smh...)

but yeah, i havent forgotten my other platforms - i just needed a break and was barely able to focus on one for a time.

with this wild false suspension on twt, i realise i really do need to focus on keeping alive my other platforms simultaneously in case stuff like this happens. it was devastating to find out what happened to my twt in the morning because i have SO many very important contacts connections and clients on there from small to big names and industry professionals, im taking a huge blow to my financial survivability and my work as a creator and im not sure how to deal with this as it has been my main lifeline during this very unstable time in my life due to irl circumstances.

i apologise, i shouldve announced a hiatus on my other platforms but i didnt bc i didnt know it would go that way. please forgive me.

i will start returning to tumblr and instagram this week. all content will be updated. my one concern is my art deals with mature themes and twitter ngl has been the only place where such content has been allowed without me having to be too concerned with the TOS of the site. obviously thus is not true on IG and tumblr. i do have a bluesky, i plan to boost myself on there as best i can but it is still an infant social media site where theres just simply NOT enough people on there. if you guys want to also follow my bluesky, please do so here.

i am really really working hard on top of irl life to build a name for myself so i can approach doing big projects and things and actually have my silly art go somewhere. the recent events have been very detrimental to that. i think it is time i rebuild on here, IG, and bluesky, regardless if my twt main comes back or not. if it doesnt, i may have to make another twitter. hopefully it doesnt come to that, hopefully twt support, however shoddy, will pull through this time. but i will keep you guys updated.

i dont think my content is really gonna fly very far on these three other platforms, but ill try my best.

im very sad, but in the end, i wont give up, and the goal was only ever to enjoy posting whatever silly ideas i have that people can also find some value in and enjoy too.

to those who have found me and stuck around, thank you so much for your patience.

i will return.

almalvo

[pespillo]

your drain folk beauty standards post is super interesting!! I'd love to know more about the impact they've had on the bizzyboys we see in game. Like how is capochin considered fem for a drain guy? Hector doesn't match the masc ideal seeing as he's the tallest of the drain folk we see in game. Is it a point of insecurity or does he like to be more fem leaning (i personally hc hector as transfem postcanon too so i have thoughts hehehe). Where do the other bizzyboys fall into these standards? What variations are there within the bizzygroups?

Your art is wonderful and I love seeing your hcs!! dont feel pressured to answer everything i just got excited hehe

Have a wonderful weekend!!

when i talk abt drain beauty standards we ALSO have to take in mind that there is a big theme of exceptionalism and obvious influence of the outer earth and grove pushing Inspekta´s views towards his own individualism, so the bizzyboys have shifted from drain-standards towards Inspekta´s standards, which is basically whatever neurotic view of the world he will hold at that moment that often reflects his own insecurities, and that goes often directly to Capo , Hector had been already been implied to been treated poorly before godhood and worked really hard for respect, he was tall for a drain guy, he stood out like a thumb and perceived sorta motherly, but in a way that made others walk all over him or treat him like a breathing coat hanger, so as retaliation he bulked up and emphasized reliability and command to be perceived as more masculine, surrounding himself with people and studying n studying to appear more interesting and refined, Capo was his first true devotee and at first he was reaffirmed constantly of his masculinity, he followed through and they both made good emphasis of the strength of numbers and charisma, of making strong impressions of people and looking like they always know what they are doing,

but after godhood , Inspekta basically held onto a TON of baggage and internalized a lot of things and got overwhelmed by the amount of information the world had to offer, the way they were all being perceived in the grove was just a big change, Inspekta turned into a very superficial person, and pushed people into roles they probably didnt know they were cornered into, Inspekta has a lot of gender dysphoria and because he doesnt cope well with it, he cant allow himself to Be part of femininity because that means going back to being demeaned and looked over, he basically starts living thru Capo by praising any waifish traits he shows which Capo interprets more romantically than it actually is, because Inspekta is being very self centered here, which goes to show that dysphoria can not only hurt yourself but others too.

besides that tangent, the rest of the bizzyboys do have some variation but with the process of selection of the team Inspekta has made sure they Are up to the standard, with exception for Grujaja, who i think would be a bit above average height for a drain guy, but he is constantly hunching over and wearing the cone thats bigger than him makes him look smaller, as for Vib, Vibiano has been "breaking the code" for years, he wears heels that are almost as tall as Capo´s , lotta jewerly, contouring and posturing in ways to make himself look taller and willowy and elegant, and nobody questions this because Capo allows it, because Vib makes Capo look more masculine if they are side by side (and Vib actively asserts Capo´s masculinity without conditions) . its all a very dumb balance of performance here.

[raisinchallah]

contemplating the various reasons for xena being forgotten while its peers like buffy or the x files still have thriving fandoms.. its many factors but i think one it stopped being seen as a show on its own merits and became kind of a punchline and joke about lesbians in wider pop culture like it was popular it was mainstream it was regularly beating star trek in syndication and was regularly the most popular action show in international purchasing rights it was broadcast all over the world and now poof like it never existed i think a few of the problems are its been sparse on streaming for yeaars and thats how many people watch these shows secondly its not had an hd remaster and especially season one probably looks atrocious on a huge tv and the wonky old cgi probably doesnt help since so many sci fi fantasy fans seem to be weirdly difficult about bad effects anyways we need to work to get doctor who fans into xena theyre the only ones who wont say a peep about it but anyways the fact all its seen as is this lesbian show had i think two effects which is random straight viewers are not going to seek it out even if idk they loved the witcher or some other recent fantasy action adventure show its just not classed with that anymore so it loses that mainstream element it cant be part of general nerd fandom cuz its just that weird gay show and also frankly i think a lot of queer women watched the show not necessarily cuz they liked it but because it was kind of seen as like one of the few gay shows out there u see lots of women saying like now that i can watch the L word what do i need xena for when theyre like wildly different shows then compounding that with the extremely controversial finale that lead a lot of people to leave fandom feel totally heartbroken about it i think really didnt help the continuity and longevity of an already contracting fandom like season 5 was hated but also really hard to watch lots of articles on whoosh people discussing waking up at like 3am to record xena episodes cuz they were broadcast at crazy times and many countries tv networks stopped buying it or suddenly delaying release by like 8 months which was terrible for people involved in internet fandom now suddenly being way behind everyone else so way fewer people were watching the final seasons a lot more people didnt like major parts of them and it really splintered fandom as well as many people stuck by the show out of this sense of uniqueness but there were not long after xena a trickle of more gay characters and gay shows on television and with many people who felt toyed with and would be like oh they never confirmed xena and gabrielle and xena died horribly i prefer to watch the L word which doesnt toy with you about them being lesbians etc real opinions ive seen out there anyways i think these problems compound idk gay internet fandom is fickle and has often jumped between the various hot new things in a way that makes it hard to keep xena going it never really transitioned as a fandom into like the ff.net and livejournal era in a significant way and has struggled for relevance since and ultimately for reasons outlined above i think its struggled to be seen as anything other than that gay show and is viewed only in that lens its not seen as a fun complex action adventure show with fun meta elements and genre experimentation that boldly reinvents itself every few seasons but also it has failed to take hold in the one community it would continue to entice i do also think the fact of it seeming like a holdover and well the black stain of the concept of queerbait also perhaps didnt help it seemed out of date old fashioned compared to idk the hot new random gay characters on tv cuz nobody wanted to fucking tell people and remember how crazy insane and good and like bone deep thematically gay xena is and like is also just good fucking tv and also people just dont respect women thats the truth people dont care about stuff about women… ok my theoriez.. thanks for ur time

[hagareteku]

brainrotted jst thinking abt nanami who goes to a baking class on sunday mornings (drooling)

nanami, who didnt think much of it, just wanted something to pass the time with and take his mind off of work before he returns the next day

nanami, who didnt expect to see a young, bright, eager girl show up to his class one morning

nanami, who doesnt think much when she positions herself at the setup next to his, tripping over her feet before giggling- "sorry im late!! oh- is this spot taken?"

nanami, who silently shakes his head, already quickly tuning out her rambles and apologies, waiting for a gap in her speech so that he can get back to his baking in silence

"-and i ended up at the wrong address and had to run across town to get here, but it was really my fault because i stayed up last night learning some new recipes so i wouldnt embarrass myself if everyone was further ahead than i was-" you go on explaining yourself to him (for some reason- he wonders) as you quickly pull out a box of coffee macarons and offer them to him

"oh! here you go! since this class is so early i figured whoever i ended up with would probably need something sweet~ i love french pastries but if you dont-" he hesitates, internally chastising himself for even considering taking one, but its a sunday morning- he can enjoy himself, right?

nanami, who slowly picks up a macaron, examining it silently before taking a small bite- "you are a good baker, it seems i could learn from you" he dryly states, his limited facial expressions making you question if he means it or is just saying it out of pity, but you notice him taking another bite

you, who bashfully looks down after he subtly praises you

"its going to be a long morning" you both think

©hagareteku on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy or plagarise in any way, etc.

------hhhjdfkj self indulgent post i am the baker gf (trust) but god i think if he praised me id be healed..forever..from all my problems. ALSO first post ??!hell yeah nanamin worms in my brain r wiggly rn this blog is my nanami haven..ok BYE :3

[shewritesforpoc]

bartender||han jisung x you||mdni

pairings: bartender!jisung x fempoc!reader

synopsis: you go to the same bar every night, served by the same bartender, you get jelly of another lady but little did you know that bartender man was only for you.

warnings: s m u t, strangers to lovers au, slowish burn, unprotected sex , mentions of drinking, use of petnames, slight orgasm denial(m and f), slight jealousy, slight angst, multiple orgasm (f), oral (m and f), pull out method, mention of masturbation, ji has a small obsession with u, lmk if i missed anything.

a/n: this is heavily influenced by the song “dream of you” by chungha. so i would recommend listening while reading! also thanks for all the likes and follows! enjoy ;) lowercase intended

story under the cut :)

ever since your break up with your ex, you havent failed to hit up the same bar everyday after work. the sweet, fruity and spicy alcoholic taste of whiskey seems to blow the stress of life right off your shoulders, it makes you forget about deadlines, the weight of your heart break, the weight of life. it makes you feel light, it relaxes you.

today was no different. you go to the same bar and order your drink. the bartender hands you the drink and makes the usual small talk. bless him, he can tell that life has been crushing you lately. “rough day?” he asks. “yeah man, life has gone to shit for me.” you replied. “‘m sorry about that honey, but let me know if you need a refill, just dont drink too much.” he said as he winked and walked away.

maybe its the liquor or maybe you didnt notice before, but ‘damn’ you think ‘hes so fucking fine.’ all the times youve come here, he serves you, but you never asked him for his name. you didnt wanna come off as a creep or anything, youre sure many people have asked him for his name. for some reason, he doesnt wear a nametag. fuck it, “excuse me bartender.” you said suddenly. he wasnt too far away from you, just a couple customers away. he motions you to wait while he finishes with a customer.

“hi, did you want a refill?” he asked. “uh…no…um…dont take this the wrong way..but youve been serving me for a while and i never got a name.” you said. he looked at you and smiled. “how rude of me. my name is jisung!” he said and extended his arm for a handshake. “oh no i shouldve asked you. but im [reader], nice to meet you!” you said as you shook his hand profusely. he stood there for a minute, looking at you. you were looking at him. truly taking in his features. the way his glasses sat on his beautifully sculpted face. the way his uniform sorta hugged his slim figure, he was actually breathtaking.

you wouldnt be surprised if he had a girlfriend. you would be surprised if he didnt. “excuse me bartender.” a lady called. you didnt even notice you were holding his hand at that point until he smiled, briefly squeezed your hand and walked away. his hands were soft. you followed him with your eyes, you seen the lady who called for him. she wasnt all that cute. her hair was nice and neat, her outfit was formal and classy, she looked like the business class.

she was looking at him with eyes full of lust, she was flirting with him. you could tell she was really flustering him because you could hear his small giggling. she looked over at you and smirked. the hell is wrong with her? what is she trying to prove? why are you getting upset about it? jisung isnt yours, and he for damn sure isnt hers either. before you could even get to that point, you asked him to close your tab and you left.

you sat in your car for a second to be sure you werent too fucked up to drive, you took a deep breathe and looked out the window. tonight was beautiful. lightly raining, and chilly. your mind started to drift back to the moment you learned his name. his voice kept traveling in your mind. it brought a small smile to your face, it warmed your heart a little. just then, you seen the same woman walk out, jisung following behind her, he gets into her car and they leave.

“the fuck?” you said in utter disbelief. you decided not to think too much of it and went home.

the next evening, youre back at the bar. same bartender, same everything. “[reader] the usual?” said jisung. you nodded and he got your drink ready. “you doing alright?” he asked. you nodded your head once more. he looked at you confused, you normally talk to him. you always talk to him, whats with the cold shoulder? he set your drink down, and you took it. everything that happened last night, the small anger you felt, it all came rushing back. and instead of taking your small sips, you down the whole thing. slamming the cup back down and catching some peoples attention. it caught the attention of jisung.

now he knew something was up. “[reader] you are not okay. whats going on with you?” jisung said with concern lacing his voice. “i am fucking fine. aint shit wrong with me. now another one please.” you said. youre also slightly tipsy. he looks more concerned now but still gives you another one. it felt like life was still crumbling down on you. so to numb it, you downed one shot, two shots, four shots, “thats enough [reader], i legally cannot serve you anymore drinks.” jisung said. “bullshit, this is bullshit. im fucking—outta here.” you said. you start getting hiccups now, you were also totally drunk.

“ill call a cab for you. your car will be here in the morning.” jisung said. “dont fuckin act like you care ab—about me. ji—jisung.” you said drunkenly. he looked at you with slight heartbreak. he does care about you. youre the reason why he works every night. he loves looking at you, admiring you. the day you unknowingly held his hand, he went home and masturbated with the same hand. “[reader], ill take you home instead. does anyone live with you that can make sure okay and also can pick your car up tonight?” he said. hes not supposed to take you home. he could lose his job over it. but he will do anything just to be close to you. “n—no” you hiccuped.

he sat you down in an isolated booth and finished the night. he served a few more people and then closed up shop. while he was doing this, you fell asleep. though he didnt wanna wake you, he had to at least get you standing up so he can help you walk to his car. “[reader]…..[reader]” he said while gently shaking you awake. you looked around to see the bar is empty. you looked at him with confusion. “hey, its time for me to take you home.” he said and smiled. you nodded as you rubbed your eyes and got up to walk. since you were still under the influence, you had some difficulty walking on your own. luckily jisung was next to you and ready to help you walk.

he helped you in his car, strapped you in, and began driving you home. “jisung.” you spoke. “yes [reader]?” he replied. “why are you doing this?” you said softly. “because i care about you. i care about your safety.” he said. sure it was the truth but it wasnt the whole truth. “if you cared, why did you go off with that ugly ass lady?” you asked. he grinned a bit. “she took me to her house, we made out but i told her i wasn’t interested in her. i told her i had my eyes on someone else.” he said. you went from being slumped over looking out the window to now sitting up and looking at him. “you did? what happened after that?” you asked invested. “she brought me back to the bar, i got in my own car and left.” he replied.

you eventually arrived at your home and he helped you in and helped you get settled. “ji?” you called. he looked at you. “can you stay the night with me? i dont want to be alone. i wanna be with you.” you said. he smiled softly and nodded. you both got into your bed and laid there. both of you are awake, both are scared to say something. “[reader], remember when i said that i told the lady i was interested in someone else?” he spoke. “yeah.” you answered. “well, ever since you came into the bar, ive been interested in you. i was too scared to introduce myself. after i learned that you were going through a break up, i tried to suppress my feelings and make sure i was there for you. im trying to say that i want you. i know you want me as well.” he said as he looked at you.

his words made you smile, “i do, want you.” you said as you looked at him and snuggled closer. he leaned a bit closer to your face, his breath fanning your face. you were the one who closed the gap and kissed him. it was one peck, then he came back and started to kiss you passionately. you climbed on top of him, not breaking the kiss. as the room started to get hot, you started to take off your shirt. him taking off his shirt revealing his slim but muscular body. jisung reached up and unclasped your bra straps. your bra fell down your body showing off your beautiful tits. he looked in awe.

he looked you in the eyes before taking one of your nipples and sucking on it. the other nipped was being teased by this free hand. you started to grind yourself on him to relieve some of the pressure. he groaned a bit as youre right on top of his cock. you threw your head back as he swirled his tongue over your sensitive nipple. he also started to rock his hips upwards to meet your pussy halfway. this causing both of you to moan softly. “i cant wait anymore ji.” you said needily. “okay baby, let me take care of you.” he said softly.

you climbed off him and laid on your back, jisung taking off your pants and then getting up to take off his. he laid down between your legs. “wow, so wet. and your pussy is so pretty. just like you baby girl.” he said as he looked up at you. it made you blush and subconsciously close your legs, but he caught them in time. he leaned in and licked it. a small teasing lick. you whined as you grew needier and needier for him. he heard your whines and stopped teasing. he began to really savor you by sucking on your clit. then dipping his tongue in and out of your hole. you moaned loudly as hes doing this to you. “that feel good?” he asked. “mmhm~” you replied not really able to say anything.

you started to rock you hips against his mouth and he started licking faster. you grabbed his hair and pushed his head into you for more. he giggled softly at this, the vibrations of it causing you to feel closer to your climax. “just like that—ah! just like that~” you screamed softly. he cooed into you again sending vibrations to your clit. you felt your high approaching quickly. as if his mouth wasnt enough, he took two fingers and fingered you quickly. this making your high wash over you. with a loud “fuck!~” you came hard.

your legs were shaking slightly from how intense it was. you sat up and kissed him deeply. tasting yourself made you moan. you pulled back. “your turn.” you smirked. he laid down and you sat between his legs. his fully erect dick was leaking some pre. you licked a fat stripe from the bottom of his dick to his pretty tip. he hissed at the sensation. you did that two or three times before you took his tip and started to suck on it. “oh goodness—oh go—that feels nice.” he whimpered. you smiled as you took his length all the way down. it took him by surprise and he subconsciously bucked his hips upwards. whatever didnt fit in your mouth, you took your hand and jerked it.

you bobbed your head and jerked him quickly, then slowly to tease. you kept that same pattern for about 5 minutes before he says “shit—baby..im gonna..’m cumming~”. you stopped before he could, he looked at you in amusement. “youre gonna regret that honey.” he chuckled. he flipped you over so you were on your back. he lined himself with you. “is this okay? we dont have to move on if you dont want to.” he said.

“im sure, i want this, i want you.” you moaned slightly. no more words were said as he slid himself into you. he was a couple inches bigger than your ex but he was definitely wider. the stretch making your toes curl. “oh my god baby, youre tight. its feels so good princess.” he moaned as he bottomed out. he stroked himself slowly in, slowly out. it was making your eyes roll back. you gripped his arm “faster, please ji. i need it…i need—it!” you moaned loudly as he sped up like you asked. he was knocking the wind from your lungs, it felt so good!

“i know you need it, you like how it feels? hm? you like how i fuck you?” he whispered in your ear. he reached his hand down and rubbed your clit. this made you closer quickly. “yes! yesyesyes—fuck im cumming!” you nearly screamed. he pulled out quickly and let you calm down. you frowned and whined. “told you, you’d regret not letting me cum.” he said. he turned you on your knees so you were in doggy position. he stroked himself a couple times before pushing himself back into you. jisung threw his head back and he rocked himself into you. he gripped your hips as he dragged you on and off his cock.

from this angle, you felt your climax about to hit again. maybe even harder than before. by this time, jisung was also close. his hips starting to lose rhythm and became sloppier by the seconds. “fuck [reader], youre gonna make me fuckin—cum!” he whined. you were so close to yours that you barely understood what he was saying. after a couple more hard thrusts of his hips, you were screaming and crying slightly as your orgasm hit you like a bus. he fucked you through your high. shortly after you he pulled out and started to stroke himself. “oh my god—im cumming…im cu—m’ gonna—fuck!” he moaned as he finished on your back.

after you both calmed down and cleaned up, he kissed you on the lips again. “im all yours baby, im all for you.” he said. you smiled as you let yourself drift back to sleep.

fin!

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[corner-collects-rocks]

elaborating time bc one person asked and that was enough :)

so this started bc i was thinking abt how Nathan and Riko died in very similar fashions. Shot by ex-brothers, ones which were most likely never considered as family(Nathan by his brother in law, who was only married into the family for to strengthen connections in the states. Riko by a brother once removed, who maybe in another world could’ve loved him like a brother but not in this one.)

then i started thinking about other ways that riko and nathan paralleled each other and over all it boiled down to: they are both monsters you have to look over your shoulder for. yet they gain a lot of their power from attempting(or succeeding) to seem like they are the top of the food chain and that they can get away with whatever they want. they will also go to extreme lengths to ensure your compliance and or suffering(torture, “hunting” neil ((riko back tracing his finger print, nathan actually chasing him)) willing to wait to get what they want because in their minds they will get it (this ones a little bit of a stretch but for Riko he was sure Neil would become a raven. Nathan and his countdown) so on and so forth. they had pretty similar playbooks when it came to getting neil to do what they wanted (threaten the foxes or andrew) and im sure theres more stuff i had in my head that im not thinking of now.

now why would Nathan want Riko as a son (hypothetically) I dont think Nathan would necessarily want the exact form of Riko we get in the books but i think if Riko had been raised by Nathan instead of Tetsuji or if Riko had apprenticed under Nathan I feel like it would’ve been a deadly combo. this is largely due to riko’s Intricate and Endless Daddy Issues™️. in my mind Riko would take every command and order Nathan would give him and he’d do it with pride. now at the end of the day this still probably would’ve ended up with Riko in the nest, but i think if Riko had bern groomed by Nathan to take over the Butcher’s business and made being a second son a staple of pride and a way to still be involved/help out the family while still being subservient to the first son i think he could’ve been a real menace and maybe even an asset to the main family.

idk this really comes down to is i think riko is very much a product of his environment (and his lack of ability to cope with the fact that not matter what he did he’d never be enough and he has to live with it) but i think had he been given a chance like this to prove himself useful? well he probably still would’ve gotten over eager and fucked it for himself but i think for a solid little bit he would’ve been the perfect butcher prodigy

(i think thats everything i wanted to say, i just came home from work so apologies if this doesnt make sense or isnt exactly what i wanted to say but i am tired and i aint rereading allat.)

[mimi-fy]

Why daisukes death was tragic (to jimmy atleast)

Daisuke is a ray of sunshine, hes a young boy from a relatively rich family. He is a pure boy, as the hibiscus flower represents beauty, and pink represents innocence, daisuke is innocent. The name of the game mouthwashing, referees to mouthwash and how you use it, you think its good for your teeth, but its not. It ruins your teeth slowly due to the sugar content. Just like jimmy. How jimmy thinks he’s fixing things but it just makes things worse in the longer run.

Like how he thinks it’s okay to send daisuke up to fix things, because daisuke is the only one who knows the insides of the ship. Daisuke was taught to follow his leaders when he was younger, and that can even go to the extreme if they taught him to follow his leaders even if it hurts to do anything to please their leaders. And daisuke always follows his leaders, he follows Swansea, and when he asks daisuke to drink daisuke is hesitant but does it anyway, because his leader told him too. When jimmy tells daisuke to go in the vent, daisuke objects but he follows because jimmy is now his leader, jimmy is the captain and Swansea is in no leader position. Captains orders, he tells daisuke. He knows he’ll follow and do his bidding for him. Daisukes death was tragic, because he was still young and had not yet lived a real life. When we get the dialogue about his life and how he was a slacker, jimmy shuts up and takes the mouthwash away from him. It’s possible that jimmy saw himself in daisuke that they both had problems and no aspirations in life, that they both followed their leaders. Jimmy could’ve followed his leaders but then he wanted to gain control as he could’ve been abused by his leaders wanting to be the one in control so jimmy could never be abused again but became the abuser. But daisuke was still young and doing all he could to try and be something unlike jimmy who has no life outside of the tulpar. He wanted to be something and have a place he worked so hard for it, unlike jimmy who doesnt work hard for things and uses other for his advantage to do the work instead (how he used daisuke). He sees the quick outcome of his actions, and jimmy in a line says ‘I’ll figure it out’ meaning he has no idea what hes doing and it’s a constant in the game. He tries to fix his mistakes, but it’s just mouthwash. He thinks hes fixing everything, but hes making it worse. That’s why the mouthwash in the game isn’t insignificant but important. Why jimmy tries to fix his wounds with mouthwash, but makes no other move. While daisuke is choking on his own blood no one dares to move him, while daisuke is dying he tries to be quiet mostly because his mothers used to complain that he was so chatty, that his leaders dont want him so loud, so as hes dying among his leaders (diasuke and swansea) he tries not to be a nuisance and stay quiet. He followed his leaders to death, and when Swansea ends his suffering by killing daisuke. So daisuke cant suffer from jimmy’s delusions calling him out. And when jimmy tells Swansea hell fix it, what jimmy said before but fucking it up that’s why Swansea tells him to fuck himself and he wishes he could’ve got daisuke the smallest chance off this rock, because he was still young and had a life ahead of him unlike everyone else. That he had a life outside of the tulpar unlike jimmy. That’s possibly why daisuke got much more guilt out of jimmy.

I kinda fucky-wuckied this one (pls check my account for my jimmy analysis!)

[mochasucculent]

Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in