#but they take a lot of my memory card
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I was looking through my old phone's memory and holy 💩, I didn't realize I had so many Louus' edits
#not that im complaining#but they take a lot of my memory card#maybe i should post some#decisions decisions 🤔
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android!Robin has several technical problems, the most important ones having to do with her memory card, battery and motor skills.
Androids are supposed to have perfect photographic memory, but Robin's memory is poor even by human standards. She tends to forget where she left her keys, what she was going to do when walking into a room, etc. She forgets her schedule all the time, as well as Nancy's, and can't remember a recipe to save her life. Dustin and Suzie say it's a problem with the connections needed to access her memory card, rather than with the memory card itself. It's fixeable, but extremely difficult and expensive. Robin wants to get this fixed and she's working hard to pay for it - she doesn't want to be an inconvenience. Nancy will support her decision, but she really isn't bothered by Robin's poor memory. She just hopes she's doing it for herself and not to make herself "easier to handle" for other people (she's been told that's what her worth was based on her entire life).
She's only had one memory card her entire life (as far as she knows). Nancy's greatest fear is Robin hitting her head and it breaking. One could potentially take out the memory card and delete it or install a new one - that is Robin's greatest fear.
At one point, her connections get so bad there will be days in which she can't remember Nancy at all, or what her own name is. She'll act almost like a normal android those days - following orders, not speaking unless necessary, not expressing emotion unless instructed to, etc, though her poor motor skills, battery problems and bad memory will make it difficult. It freaks Nancy out every time, and she always tries to get her to snap out of it as if she were human, before accepting that love can't solve this problem, and calling Dustin and Suzie to fix it. She'll pay any price if it means having her Robin back.
Robin lets herself be turned off without complaint, without even the terrified shudder Nancy used to feel when she forcibly did it during their first weeks together. Robin's docile obedience as she let Nancy do this to her, and the way her body went limp in Nancy's arms, never failed to bring Nancy to tears.
It would take days for Dustin and Suzie to fix some of Robin's problems. This one took between one and two weeks. Longest it ever got was 16 days. During that time, Robin would lay lifeless on their workshop's table, her battery sitting somewhere else to prevent her from turning on automatically. Dustin insisted that he and his lady (as he called Suzie) worked best when their kingdom (their workshop) was untouched by foreign hands, so Nancy wasn't always welcome to visit Robin in that state. Nancy was relentless, though, and she usually managed to convince him to let her in for a few minutes. He thinks it's pointless - it's not like Robin can feel her there. She can't even dream. It doesn't change anything. In fact, he worries Nancy will be more disturbed than comforted, because Robin's entire skull, neck and spine will be exposed - only it's not bones and flesh inside, but metal and plastic circuits, plates, chips, wires and pistons. He's careful to at least put her face back in place when Nancy visits. He expects her to be taken aback by the sight, but instead, Nancy's eyes are full of so much worry and care and adoration as she observes Robin's lifeless body. She doesn't dare touch her - she doesn't want to hurt her. But she misses her so deeply.
When it's all finished, Nancy takes her back home with the utmost care and tucks her into bed. She waits by her side until she turns back on, and softly talks to her, asks her how she's feeling, brings her some water and asks her questions, to see if she's back to normal. Because it's all recorded in her memory card, Robin can remember everything - can remember the time she spent not knowing who she is, thought she can't remember if she was self-aware during those episodes. Whenever she wakes up, she's just happy to see Nancy, and wants hugs and cuddles from her, but she begins to cry out of fear as she tries to remember the details of not being. Nancy holds her every time, asks her if she wants to watch cartoons or if she wants her to read a book for her, to keep her from spiraling. She hates seeing Robin look so small and scared, but she also knows she's not scared of anything Nancy can protect her from. The horrors haunting her come from her own mind and her own nature.
(Dustin and Suzie make a copy of Robin's memory card and give it to her, just in case).
Dustin and Suzie take care of any fixes Robin needs. They're much nicer than any other technician at the previous repair shops she's been to. The most usual fixes have to do with weakness and stiffness in her knees and hips, especially on her right leg (it got broken pretty badly during a beating by her last owner - Billy Hargrove. He wanted to make her unable to walk. The person his father sold her to next did a poor job fixing her). These fixes are usually quite simple and take very little time. She will refuse to see them, though, until she reaches her breaking point when she struggles to stand up, or when she suddenly falls to the ground. It always worries Nancy to death - she's terrified of Robin hitting herself and suffering even more damage. It always takes some convincing for Nancy to get her in her car and on their way to Dustin's workshop. Sometimes, the fix will be so simple they don't even need to turn her off. Nancy holds her hand during these.
The third big problem is her battery. Thankfully, her battery is detachable and easily replaceable. They only had a mayor issue with it once, and they had to order a new one. Robin's model is rare enough that it took over a week to get there. During that time, they installed solar pannels in the balcony and Robin had to be connected to them with long, thick cables that stretched all around the apartment. It was more amusing than anything else, having to step around the cables and make sure none of them got accidentally disconnected. Cloudy days made her pretty much useless and had her lying in bed watching cartoons all day. She was completely turned off after sunset and she was up by sunrise. Needless to say, she couldn't leave the apartment for the week and had to call in sick to work.
Good thing was, though, that the new battery worked much better than the previous one. It lasted much longer. Nancy had only seen her this excited a few other times. The way she kicked her bedroom door down with a wide smile on her face as she yelled at her to come to the kitchen just made Nancy smile with adoration. Robin showed her the box in her hands - she was shaking with excitement - and asked Nancy to help her install it. She turned herself off and Nancy did the rest - disconnected cables, take out old battery, install new one. When she turned Robin back on, she was more full of life and energy than she'd ever seen her be. Free from her cables, she immediately grabbed Nancy's hands and dragged her outside - the sun was shining and she wanted to run around in the park, to roll on the grass and count the cloud and photosynthesize with a good book in her hand. To Nancy, she looked like a puppy, or a happy little bird just released from its cage. She could never say no to her, they would spend the entire day outside if Robin wanted to.
#ronance#android!robin au#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#robin buckley angst#but also#robin joy#i feel like this au is the definition of fluff and angst. the definition of hurt/comfort#my posts#btw that was NOT robin's first memory card 👀👀 just a lil harmless fun fact#i feel like i should also share the nancy lore because she does have lore too#for now i just want to say that#robin here relates to plants a lot. all she needs is water and sunlight. she's a very eco-friendly robot#she doesn't even produce CO2 (take that humans)#also: her battery is shit during winter. its like a phone battery - as soon as temperature goes subzero (in celsius terms at least idk#i guess thats like 15 farenheit) her battery begins to deplete super fast and she gets sleepy and needs Nancy to take her back home#and tuck her into bed for the day.#this is especially true if the day is also cloudy#though i think they get one of those lamps people use to grow weed inside the house. they help her photosynthesize
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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I know I am American but my grandmother is a British immigrant and so I call upon my heritage and with the power invested in me as someone 25% English, I revoke Luke’s citizenship.
#professor Layton#professor Layton and the curious village#Luke triton#professor cody#I do not feel connected to my English heritage tho#like my grandma is still alive but she doesn’t like to talk about it#because she came over as a refugee from wwii and so she remembers the air raids and stuff#so her memories are a lot of air raid sirens#but like … a lot of people I know take pride in where they come from#which is good for them!#but not me#I am not like 25% English and 17.5% Swedish or whatever#I am an american#first last and all the way inbetween#HOWEVER#I will absolutely claim my heritage to revoke this brat’s card#queue takumi defense squad
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Hate that I’m having a huge fucking freak out after a really nice day
#we went to (town where my CSA happened and where my family that has disowned me for speaking up about it all live)#which was weird#but I kept trying to focus on the moment#going there for the first time as an adult with a group of women that I love who all support me unconditionally#we were having a great time#and I was reminiscing about the town with my boss because she grew up there#so we both have a lot of formative memories of the same places#but each time I would tell her of some happy childhood memory I also had this ugly nasty thing lurking behind it#like yes my family all live here and I don’t come visit them anymore because they’re defending my abuser#and have made it abundantly clear that I am not welcome or accepted or believed or respected#and I kept trying to shove that down we were having such a good time#and then it was also great because I got to spend the day with Woman I Have Feelings For#but her reaction to the birthday card I made her was not what I had hoped so I was overthinking things the second my day started#and then spending the day with her outside of work made those feelings bubble up real big#but we were in a place that I associate with my trauma and my last relationship ended really traumatically as well#so I had the combination all day of:#do not think about your CSA do not think about it do not think about how your entire family turned on you without question#do not think about how much you’re scared that she has been trying to subtly reject you and you’re embarrassing yourself by not taking a bin#don’t think about how if she does feel the same about you you can’t enjoy any intimacy ever#because of the CSA#and because of the last person you dated#and don’t think about how your body rebels and launches into a trauma response ar the very thought of intimacy#and don’t think about how you’re terrified that you’ll never be able to be intimate without panicking#and don’t think about how you tried to force yourself to be intimate with someone and ended up completely freezing going mute#being retraumatized in another way entirely#don’t think about how terrified you are of the fact that you cannot predict or control that trauma response#how even with your first girlfriend when you wanted to be intimate you would freeze up#and how she yelled at you that one time ‘you never let me touch you’#so yeah lads I’m crying a little bit in the dark#googling ‘how to overcome trauma response during intimacy’
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This or that game tagged by @daydreamingandprocrastination
painting or photography // dusk or dawn// spring or autumn // movies or tv shows // chocolate or nutella // audiobooks or podcasts // card games or board games // fiction or nonfiction // cookies or brownies // dragons or unicorns // bath or shower // blue or yellow // rollercoasters or bumper cars // iced tea or hot tea // left side of bed or right side of bed // zip-up hoodie or pullover hoodie // straight hair or curly hair// gummy worms or gummy bears // rain or snow // sneakers or flip-flops // bowling or mini-golf // pasta or pizza
#Tag game#See the point is to be precise but i feel like explaining every answer#painting bc im an artist#dusk reminds me of my friend who really likes taking photos of sunsets#spring bc autumn is just sad and means the end of summer#also spring means the year is ending#here anyway#card games vs board games was the most difficult one but i feel like board games take a while wheras i play a lot of card games at work#and have a lot of fond memories of playing scum and uno with the kids#loving fiction is the foundation of my personality#my families go to recipe is brownies and we have a killer recipe#i like drawing unicorns for the kids but they are just horses with a horn#i cant be in a bath for more than ten minutes without getting dizzy#i didn't realize this wasnt normal and thought everyone just did it to kinda get high like i do sometimes#turns out i have low bloodpressure whoops#i picked right bc thats where i am rn but its more the edge i prefer#i dont love hoodies tbh#I have straight hair but i love curly hair#Sour gummy worms are the best candy#RAINNN#It's flooding here and im trying not to enjoy the sound of the storms too much bc people are like in crisis#not my city but nearby#i prefer boots and sandals but flip flops are useless shoes#just be barefoot#eh ive been bowling more recently but i like to use my walking stick as a golf club sometimes#most pizza is disapointing wheras idk where id be without pasta#theres this one pizza place tho in my hometown that is better than any pasta ive ever had#OH i forgot to explain a couple#im allergic to hazelnuts so nutella can suck my dick#also choc is my favourite thing
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Dawg I work in automating email-job-type-tasks and my coworkers - fellow elder millennials - were STUNNED at my solution to create a dynamic folder name. Not the method of making it dynamic, the part that stunned them was the "run cmd.exe: '/c mkdir [filepath]'" and at the point where I was going "yeah no its not wizardry its just like... a vestigial recreation of MSDOS..." I had to confront that frankly computer literacy has never been more in the toilet.
Telling young zoomers to "just switch to linux" is nuts some of these ipad kids have never even heard of a cmd.exe or BIOS you're throwing them to the wolves
#most of these guys know at least SQL and a little VBA we are so cooked as a society#call me the bane of corporate IT the way I once emailed a whole department a javascript file with no extension to get around the very#reasonable filter but like P&P required digital fraud to use a particular note format and doing it by hand was a nightmare while that#webserver was down and a bunch of people listened to IT and cleared their cache as the first step lmfao#terrible news about whats in your fucking cache man fucking hell lmfao#the fact that nobody but me even realized what we actually needed was IN that cache makes me sad tbh#because thats not a very complex thing to know really! helpdesk should have tbh#seconding the typing thing tho - I have severe auditory processing issues and I hate writing up a perfect question on teams only to get a#response of “uhhh can you join my zoom” and then I have to explain it all over again and take notes because it helps me repeat back what I#think I heard to them and its like dude all of this would be so much easier if you'd grown up on forums and learned to type/read faster tha#talking too ngl#I also get a lot of comments from folks once they see my desktop about like oh what games do you play my man I have a potato for a graphics#card! I have a gpu at all because of photoshop and blender this thing does not play much beyond AOE2?#but the idea of even having a desktop pc for regular non-gaming computer use is getting weird to even elder millennials#even when I explain I was a professional freelance artist for a while I get a lot of “but ipad?”#my brother in christ have you ever tried to use the ipad photoshop there's a reason even my tablet is a windows surface#you will pry my dubious copies of non-cc photoshop out of my cold dead hands before I touch procreate Im so sorry but I have a keyboard#shortcut for everything memorized since 2002 and that is the way that shit is going to stay for the sake of my sanity#but you explain that and it blows peoples minds because they maxed out their muscle memory for shortcuts at ctrl+(z/x/c/v/a/s)#if that! like that's among people who have been call center/backoffice folks tbh who mostly CAN type 65WPM and are already freaks for it
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#awi#personal#unfilial rant to follow#to delete#im upset with my grandparents#theyve been dealing with a lot of shit what with health problems and house disasters#ive spent a lot of my own money to help then replace some of the furniture they lost#ive gone over and helped clean and move shit for hours at a time#my grandpa couldnt drive for months so i was one of their chauffeurs#and it's not that i think they owe me anything#i know exactly how bad their financial situation is and i wasnt doing those things with any expectation of payment or repayment#but i turned 30 this month#and they stopped by a gave me and my twin a gift which sure thanks it's appreciated#but we're twins so it's been a sore point our entire lives when people who generally /dont know us v well/ will get us both the same gift#we're different people#at least get 2 different colors pls if youre going to get us anything at all let alone 2 of the same thing#but whatever#point is: our grandparents received Words about this when we were kids and thus absolutely know this#the other thing is. again. we turned 30#and i dont think it could be more obvious that they just dropped by dollar tree and bought 2 identical minions bags and 2 identical#identical slingshot toys intended for 4 year olds#neither of us like minions#and we're not 4#bare minimum they know i like cats. i show them dozens of pics every time i see them#i just. im insulted okay#we're 30. a card or even nothing and just a companionable meal wouldve been fine#but this. idk. it stings in ways i wasnt expecting#and my grandpa was taking pictures the whole meal. not for memories. to put on his fucking scam blog#my twin says she went in with zero expectations so she's not offended. but i am
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I got screened for a cancer and found a plethora of health issues that have taken up essentially all my time outside of my current commissions.
I'm real sorry the GTA and new SR art has been delayed this long, but it is for a good cause! I am applying for surgery and more scans to assess treatment options to recover my health as soon as possible!
It has been very scary, but I wish to heal and return to art very soon so I am not giving up! But I do need a little bit more time before I set up some fun stuff.
#at first it was just my art laptop suffering BSOD when i used CSP#i fixed that and was then handling memory allocation concerns and trying to prevent further issues#then my pc died and i had to take emergency commissions to replace some parts so i can use it again#i have it hooked up to a tv right now because I replaced the graphics card first LMAO#and I can't read my tv but it allows me to do work calls and try to play dnd on the saturday#i have been working saturdays even though it is against my beliefs but god will forgive me#the genocide affected my family personally recently and there was some distress about it#i think we'll genuinely have a lot going on for a while of course#but i was working strong on my hobbies and health until I expressed some trouble breathing and we noticed a growth in my neck#that tumour is not malignant so we are going to leave it for now because my blood work revealed an insane amount of problems later#confirmed or countered at the ER depending on the test LMAO so much came up at the ER#they wanted to do surgery on me that day but because some scans conflicted they could not approve me#I'm now going to get more scans from a specialist for the most immediate issue#the other tumours they found they THINK are noncancerous as well!#but I have some dysfunctional organs they want to keep a close eye on and one not working at all#not saints row#very personal update which i am sorry about#it feels important to say in case the doc is right about how dangerous this all is#i dont want to just disappear with no words if it's the worst#but It will not be that way if i can help it
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vimeo
{YU-GI-OH!} Duel Monsters Type: AMV ~ Yuugi & {Ace-implied!}Yami {Atem*} (*This AMV mainly contains 'Yami''s form) [Reading in Aro-Ace or Aro-Acespec!Yami is also Fine] {Just please respect my own headcanons too!} Title: "Taking Over Me"
Summary: "You saw me M o u r n i n g my {xxxx} for YOU, and T O U C H E D MY H A N D..."
"...Just to F I N D Y O U--"
Music © E.v.a.n.e.s.e.n.c.e/Amy Lee
Spoiler Info: -Leads up to End of Anime-only “DOMA” Arc's Yuugi & Yami Duel {Anime-Only sequences; not included in original manga} -{Mainly} D.M. Only Eps -A single clip from the original 1st series by Toei opens it, but nothing else from it is included.
*Any Lip-sync'ng was unintentional {+Any similar Might be removed in any future Remake}
Yu-Gi-Oh! © Kazuki Takahashi Yu-Gi-Oh! 1st Series {Anime} © Toei Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters {Anime} © Studio Gallop This is a FAN-WORK. NO $$$ is being made off this work.
{AMV by (Young) Me} {DO NOT REPOST} {DO NOT COPY} {DO NOT REPRODUCE MY WORKS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION}
(Note: This is an OLD work {10+ yrs old}. and one of my last YGO D. M. ones of the timeframe; however, it was still very early on in my making of these type of works {AMVs} when I finished this. The footage used will reflect this, as it was made before widespread transition into H.D. Footages. Please be understanding.) [There may be intent for me to remake it someday!] Overall, it is Complete, and other than removing accidental lipsyncs; Most of it I do not plan to change.
Note: -This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when Tumblr and/or Vimeo is experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider watching the Direct link here!
{I am NOT taking new Requests [or making changes to this one] (+for this series) at this time. Please DO NOT Ask!}
#mutou yuugi#yuugi mutou#puzzleshipping#puzzleshipping amv#koushirouizumi ygo#: ill GIVE you ALL MY MEMORIES#(o K SO IM GONNA TO MY BEST TO e XPLAIN HOW I INTERPET'D THIS ONE AS *I* MADE IT--- {I WAS STILL IN s CHOOL GIVE ME A bREAK---})#({Originally I was making these as small SERIES of @mvs BACK THEN} {even this one only had 'D R A M A' labelled as} {G e n r e})#({i.e. One would lead into another part covered by the next which may have included later arc's etc but they were IN GENERAL Stand-alones})#({This one is D.M. ONLY but contains just a bit more of the D0MA duel along with a bit more from the actual mid part w Yuugi})#(So in general Yes this was part of a {C h a l l e n g e} aimed @ Myself to try to make G O O D Ev@nescence ones or at least ATTEMPT to)#({Portray WELL} Which is what I INTENDED to do but mAN I HAD LIMITED FOOTAGES-- so I had to MAKE DO with what I HAD {+Reused some s IGH..})#({Thus a LOT of it ends up being D0MA but it sURPRISINGLY... DESCRIBED A LOT OF THE LYRIC... LIKE TO A POINT I WAS Negl Kinda ShockTM})#(So at first I take the lyric's LITERALLY&am portrayin like theyre LITERALLY JUST 'HAHA IM t AKIN OVERTM YOU gET IT' {S p i r i t s} etcetc#(Later On Tho . Once Yuugis gone and Y a m i is LITERALLY FALLIN APART {e MOTIONALLY---} I began Experimentin with footage&this is where I)#({a. LEARNT how to REVERSE TIME clips {y AMI transformin TO YUUGI} b. tried to time O.P footage much more effectively {door opening scene})#(after that however I decided reverse timeng was TOO MUCH EFFORTTM also bc it often CRASHED WMM&tried to nOT DO AGAIN UNLESS it made c OOL)#(o K SO Yuugi gets t AKENTM Literally&Y a m is Freakin Out as per usual this arc but is *d EVELOPING!!!*)#({A T E M!!} is RECOGNIZING own Feelings about+Accepting Self&FINALLY!!! beginning to understand {y UUGI} is {VERY q UEER} TOO)#({So by the Hand scene} {Yuugi is like} {'I dont know WHAT KIND OF'} {Yea} {this is but} {'I DONT c ARE'})#({Bc YUUGI IS LIKE THE MOST ACCEPTING S O U L IN THIS ENTIRE gdd AMN SERIES y UUGI DOESNT GIVE A sH*T HOW {A T E M} I. D.'s})#({YUUGI k NOWS!!! YUUGIs FEEL TOWARDS A T E M IS NOT LESSER EVEN IF IT *IS KEPT p LATONIC*} {BY THE E N D})#({So by the end Yuugi is} WILLINGLY ***LETTING*** {A T E M} 'Take over' not just LITERALLY VIA S P I R I T p OSSESSEDTM but ALSO)#({E M O T I O N A L L Y}+p OSITIVE'LY Theyre in S Y N C & they k NOW theyre gonna m AKE IT **EVEN IF** D0MA *HAS* YUUGI AT THE END-)#({I didnt have time to end it on a better f RAME but if I remake this yEA ILL ADD SOME k INDOF idek End card here TOO just to Emphasize})#({a NYWAY YEA I INTENDED TO TRY AT LEAST ONE MORE Yuugi & {A t e m} one even GENERALLY but NEVER GOT TO IT!!!} {aaaAAAAAA})#({So the very last one I ended up doin was YuuxJous 'Youll Be In My H e a r t' & there a TEM ALSO HAS INVOLVEMENT!!!} {***IS THERE***})#({JOU FACES A T E M TOWARDS THE VERY END AND IT SHOWS THEM ABT TO d UEL BC a TEM ACCEPTS JOU+YUUGIs FEELS FOR EACHOTHER *TOO*})#({A T E M!!! DOESNT GIVE A SH*T EITHER!!! HOWEVER THEYRE GONNA MAKE THE d YNAMICS WORK THEYLL DO IT t OGETHER})#({Using space's to keep out of S e a r c h} yEA s O Will fix that eventually tryin to see if e MBED'S HOLD NOW THAT I f IX'D {E N O U G H})
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Not me watching some Penacony story explanation video.
The video mentions that giant the memory zone meme thing we fought is actually named Death
Me: -looks at my temp bio-
Also me: ......................................................................................
#ooc#//idk if i missed something or i'm just dumb gscktkajjc#or both :|#i really do not remember the memory zone meme thing being called sleepy or death#HOW HAVE I MISSED THAT THO?#I FEEL I 'OTTA REWATCH ALL THE CUTSCENES FROM PENACONY NOW LOL#in my defense there was a lot unfolding and a lot to take in and like... i started getting lost :|#honestly i only hc'd doggy-gallagher being named death cuz of uh... how gallagher says he is 13 years old#and death is number 13 on the tarot card lol#so his previous owner named him after a tarot card i guess XD#why? idk. maybe cuz gallagher was kinda meant to die#maybe. idfk but i thought it was a cool idea okay? gkhscgkfj ;A;
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Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.
I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.
I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.
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#flowers arts#(ghosts can die hes talking about gueeg. anyway this only reinforces his behavior even though its NOT TRUE)#trying to make a distinction between ghost and memory is stupid But hes doing it anyway Thats ANOTHER reason to hate BOB the KILLER#i used a different color pallet because Sometimes you get sick of it. Sometimes#i wanted to make stupid valentines cards but i dont really have the time for that. its WORK ON ENTRY and then WORK ON PORTFOLIO for me ..#and then find a job that gives me enough hours and time and whatever. Uwah ..#lw#maybe i was gonna talk about more things but thats for another time i suppose (the forgetter) Im gonna go take a bath now Smile#also. sorry for posting a lot today (and possibly other days) i think whenever i see tumblr open i just wanna post something Always#obnoxiously so. it is my blog of course but I still think about the repercussions sometimes
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i had weird dreams about traveling through dimensions on halloween to old familiar streets of my hometown but having everything be different because i was slightly off in my calculations so the colours were distorted and the houses were rearranged but the smell was still the same. then i woke up with visceral memories clouding my head of going to get my braces tightened each month and getting the colour changed according to the season/holiday.
#i was terrified of anything having to do with doctors (still am) but i actually liked my orthodontist office#bc he was autistic and one of the nicest ppl i knew and he only hired kind women and the whole place was open and warm and comforting#he made it so comfortable in there and it was an open floor plan so u didn’t feel trapped in a room#and he had a little photo booth set up to take pictures and he’d photoshop u into anywhere u wanted to be in the world#and he’d send goofy christmas cards editing himself into popular movies like the hunger games poster#haaaaatee having braces but i actually liked being there i have positive memories associated with it otherwise#also every time i got them tightened my mom would take me to get a strawberry fudge cheesecake blizzard from DQ down the street#idk why i’m thinking about this but i woke up with these memories in my head even tho i don’t remember dreaming about the orthodontist#anyway anybody else get purple and orange for halloween and red and green for christmas agsjwbdkeb#a lot of times i’d do like pink and purple alternating. to match my room#the bodily memories of halloween growing up in my hometown are engulfing me today
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Light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul
Who is your future spouse?
☆How to chose the perfect pile?
1) Clear your mind.
2) Take a deep breathe.
3) Ask the question in your head.
4) Open your eyes and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.
☆ Before you get into the reading you have to know the following:
- Please, please and I will say it again please do not think of anyone while you are choosing. Not your Ex or current boyfriend or even your crush. And I will say it again DO NOT THINK of any man as your future spouse if you want to have an accurate reading.
- This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest. The future is not set in stone and the energy can change. This reading does not substitute any medical or professional help.
- I might do part 2 for this reading.
Stay safe ❤
Arya
Pile 1 - Bram stoker's Dracula
☆Where are you coming from? Your current love life:
I see that this pile have been lonely for quite some time and they are wondering if they will truly find someone. I see that you guys are overthinking everything about your love life and you are leaving no space for divine intervention. This pile’s energy is quite sad and tormented? You perhaps tell yourself that you don't need anyone but you truly want to build something stable and long lasting. I see that you feel stuck on I'm independent I don't need anyone mindset. Not because you really like being independent but because you are afraid of getting disappointed. The problem with this pile is the fear is literally paralyzing you and sabotaging any potential connection that can fit into your life. I'm also seeing that you might be someone who have been rejected and the pain of rejection is still vivid in your core memory. I see that you truly want love and to be loved! You might have a crush on someone with virgo or taurus placements. Or you might feel drawn to those type of men who embodies this archetype. I feel like you are kind of traditional towards dating. You might have had strict family or you really have a strong opinion regarding dating or hookup culture. This is your pile if you have strong virgo placements, water placements or the description fit you perfectly.
Who is your future spouse?
Pile one you might be manifesting your twin flame to be in a marriage with them? This person might enter your life so soon and above all you might get to know him online? I see that he might like your photos if you post yourself or he might just DM you through social media? This person is so grounded and stubborn. He is so earthy and stable in a generous way. He is the perfect mix between fire and earth. He is so childish or he aim to see infinite possibilities. I see that he is doing shadow work or he has been to therapy before. I see that this person is either a heartbreaker or been heartbroken many times. He is so naive or he seems naive? He might prefer texting over phone or video calls. There's an emphasis on his hair. He have curly and dark hair. His eyes are sleepy or he have sleepy eyes. There's something about his face, you see those people who have sleepy faces? Like they just woke up? I guess he might have that. He might look innocent and angelic. Like his aura is so comforting and serene. I also see that this person look younger than his age with hazel eyes. His style looks chill, like you see those guys who wear comfy hoodies? He might be one of them. I asked when will you meet him and the cards told me that you may meet him 6 months from now. You might be on a journey of self discovery when he enters your life. You might be losing weight and if you are not trying to lose weight; you might be trying to get in shape. I see that you are going to meet him after doing a lot of shadow work and inner reflection.
Pile 2 - The Addams couple
☆ Where are you coming from? Your current love life:
This pile is my daring and flirty pile. You might like your solitude but you flirt for fun. I see that most interactions that happen between you and the opposite sex are online. You might like to post spicy photos of yourself. Or send nudes to total strangers in public. You might like to take initiative in relationships. Even if you are a woman/female; you simply don't care about the traditional roles. Especially on who get to initiate to whom. If you like someone you are going to get them, I see that this is your moto. Also this might be your pile if you are stuck on a decision regarding travel. You might want to travel but you are juggling too many responsibilities and this is holding you back from actually pursuing that goal. If you are a man (since the dominant energy on this pile are men or masculines) you might be posting photos or nudes of yourself online. I see many risky photos and poses and if you are not a man or masculine then you might be doing the same action. You really value your own space; I see that you are protecting your peace at all costs. I mean yes you might like to flirt for fun with others but nothing really is serious and you are not looking for something serious either. This is your pile if you have significant leo or Aries placements.
Who is your future spouse?
Your future spouse is someone that you are going to meet through group project. At first as I said about your current energy, you are not looking for something serious so when you meet that person you'll find it kind of confusing. I see that you might be blinded at first. Like you might not notice them and if you are working with them you might not be attracted to them. They are not your usual type, they might be smart and quick thinker. This person knows how to take care of themselves. He might also know how to take care of women in general. Men might call him simp but he is no simp he is just so kind and empathetic towards women's needs. He is so determined, I see that once he put his mind on a goal he doesn't stop when he is tired, He only stop when he finish. I see that he LOVES to conquer a good challenge. He likes to to be assertive and he is looking for someone assertive too. He want his equal, his queen. He might look like he suit you? Wait let me rephrase it. You see that two people who are not dating but everyone in workplace ship them? You two might have intense chemistry. This person look like a heartbreaker. Eye color range from brown to gray or just those two colors. His hair is so silky or wavy. He have this confused look when he talk to you? He might even drag his feet while he walk, or he might look tired when he walk.
Pile 3 - Nosferatu
Where are you coming from? Your current love life.
Well, looking at the cards this pile is in their sweet feminine energy who wants princess treatment and to be spoiled. If this is not the case then this piles are for mothers or you are a mother or pregnant. If you are not pregnant and you are the girl who is in her feminine energy then I see that there's someone who wants to pursue you and he is so damn confident about it. I see that you guys are so confident in yourselves. Perhaps, you are someone who is working on their self esteem and self worth. I see that whatever the case you are in. It is going to pay off. For my girlies who are being pursued by someone I see that this person is very serious about you. He want to marry you quiet literally. This person sees you as his wife or future wife. I also see that this connection is meant to be and is distant to happen even if you are not aware of it. This person is quite civilized and diplomatic. He want to make you happy and cherish you, but if you don't want him it is your choice at the end of the day. I see a lot of happiness in this pile. Guys happiness is your middle name, since the energy or the cards I'm pulling are all yellow and yellow means happiness in tarot. Another energy I'm picking up on is that this pile doesn't really want to be strong and independent. Unlike pile one who is pushing themselves to be that way, this pile is accepting the fact that you want to be a stay at home mother or a rich wife of a rich dude. Most people in this pile are Venus dominant, have taurus or libra placement or have venusian energy in general. You guys might be the pretty girl in your friend group and everyone enjoys looking at you.
Who is your future spouse?
So right off the bat what I'm seeing is someone who have a lot of options. You know that one man who is wanted by every woman because of how friendly and charismatic he is? This man has this energy. It looks like this person is someone who has been heartbroken before and now he keeps his options open by befriending many girls and keeping his options open. He have the cup of love and he is so eager to give it to someone, I'm also picking up on someone passionate and eager to explore life. This person is sooo romantic in a cheesy way. I see that many times he attempted to get in a relationship but got afraid and back off from pursuing something serious. This person believes in manifestations or he tried manifesting an SO or future wife or this person really believes that he can create the reality he wants. This person gives off the vibe of a knight in a shining armor or a Disney prince tbh. This person look like a literal baby or he have baby features. He might have round or oval face. This man can be a little overweight or fat with blonde hair and blue eyes. He is so cute I'm seeing a picture of someone who look adorable and sweet. This person gives off the vibe of "I look good as a husband". But in general this person look so childish and baby like. Could look younger than his actual age? Or this person might be younger than you, but not so much like a couple months younger. He is so friendly or he have a lot of female friendships. This man gives off the ENFJ vibes Idk if you know mbti but you can Google it if you want to. He is so emotionally mature and caring. His energy is so nurturing. I asked the cards about when will you are going to meet him and they said he will enter soon into your life and one of the signs is a female around you is going to give birth or you are going to meet a pregnant woman or one of your relatives/friends will get pregnant. There's a NOTE for this pile specifically; if you are being pursued by someone this person is your future spouse. And if you are not being pursued by anyone then you might know who your future spouse is. And if you don't have anyone then take the reading with a grain of salt but you can enjoy it anyways.
Pile 4 - Hollywood couple
Where are you coming from? Your current love life:
This pile is truly stuck. I feel like I'm bored and desperate I want to cry. Like guys what is the matter? There's both boredom and stagnation. You might be someone who is really bored with how things are in your love life. I'm picturing a girl about 16 to 18 years old who want to be open to love but there's a man in her life (could be a male caregiver) who is very strict and structured. This man literally destroyed your well to date anyone. I feel like you are discouraged by the idea of love and I feel that you are unbalanced in a way? Like you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt but at the same time you want love so freaking bad. I'm clinching my jaw and I feel like I want to scream and yell and kick things around me. Pile four why are you so angry? Please calm down! There's nothing in this life that deserve all this anger. Please take a break and go balance yourself and life. You are still young and have no experience and life is still long in front of you. I see that you might be waiting for something to happen; for someone to come in and rescue you from your life but nothing really happens so you pour all of your anger and resentment on yourself. Please stop hurting yourself and go find a hobby or something that can help you channel this anger and resentment. I'm picking up on someone who is bottling up their feelings and not really trying to express them. I also feel headache, do you have headache pile four? Are you bloated too? You might have significant leo and Aries placements. A little Taurus placements and sun, mars and sagittarius dominate. I feel like you are waiting and waiting but the waiting itself got bored of you lol. And you end up feeling devastated and angry. This pile’s energy is so rageful, please do some meditation or workout to get rid of that anger. You might also be scared of change? And overwhelmed by the idea of change? You might be someone who doesn't really like things to change and stick to a specific routine. Anyways let's get into the reading.
Who is your future spouse?
This person is very hardworking and workaholic. I see that the main focus in his life is his career, money and stability. This man is a little bit selfish, and he became like that because of how much he suffered. This person suffered from poverty, or he was very poor. He might even get kicked out of his family house so he can work and get them money. This person got bullied a lot by his peers and saw a lot of cruelty in his life, I feel so sorry for him. This person might be closed off emotionally, it is like he is trying to shelter himself from any possible heartache because of what happened in his childhood. I also see that when you meet him he might not be ready for anything serious or he might not really have healed fully from what has happened to him. There's an age gap here, he might he older than you or more mature. Like 4 years older. He might also be a co-worker of you? Or acquaintance If it is not then he might work with you in your field. The main challenge he is facing is stability, he want stability to be able to marry you. My advice for this pile is don't try to force things out if this person is not ready for commitment. He hasn't healed yet and his main focus is on the material. He might even use you if you attempted to help him financially so please don't. What really amazed me in this pile that this man is so materialistic, his love language can be gift giving. Now his appearance; this person look so cocky and confident. He have hazel eye color and sharp features. This person's back look hot or beautiful. He is not that tall, he is medium height. His hair is dirty blonde or chestnut brown. A foreigner? He might not be from your country. This man is possessive to be honest. If you met him after he get his ish together he will spoil you rotten but if not then don't try to help and heal him. You might meet him at the end of November to the most of December.
Post date: 25th/Aug/2024 - Sun
*Feedback is appreciated
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How your future spouse will treat you - Pick a Pile
Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3
Liked my blog or readings? Tip me! | My Paid Readings
Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!
Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!
How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!
I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!
Pile 1:
(The cards I got for you guys - 2 of swords, king of pentacles, 5 of swords, ace of cups, 7 of pentacles, ace of wands, 10 of swords, judgement and 9 of pentacles)
Okay so the first thing i feel is they will treat you like a princess you are, they way you deserve to be treated. By listening to you, by treating your inner child, doing things for you, giving your surprises. For some of you who chose this pile there is anxious or nervous energy, like you don't actually believe you could be treated or loved this way, sometimes you end up choosing the path which is difficult or has difficulty in decision making, I also heard some of you waiting or still waiting for their loved one even if they don't show it, this is just feeling i got when i started doing your reading. Okay so let's talk about your cards, I feel they will have quite many decisions to make about you, like what do you need what do you actually want, how can they prepare things for you i also see them being confused just because they want to give you the best, some of the surprises they plan is hidden but i tried to channel it, it could be necklaces jewelry, or some expensive things planning trips for you, I also feel they will blindfold you a lot while they give you gifts, or surprises just to see your happy expression, honestly? they love that. I also feel they like fine things in their life and will give that to you as well, their love language is def gift giving and act of services, they will make the best of what they have, i heard "I will never disappoint you, darling", your love for me and everything you do for me, i am just so grateful, you deserve the best", so sweet!, I also feel they will be like a kid around you, dping silly things, giving you memories and love to hold on to, honestly the way you want to be treated and loved, they seem determined to make you feel loved and the way you deserve, They will spoil you with riches, i heard gift so many times so cute, if you are sick? they will wash your hair or help you wash them, prepare soup for you, no matter if they know cooking or not, this pile or their future spouse might like to read too, they are honestly a softie at heart, but just cover it up well with their hard exterior persona, I see them making the decisions which will help you both, they will push you out of your comfort zone to do things you never thought of doing or just too scared to do, they will help you become the better version of yourself, showing the love in the way they can, i see a picture or thing where you both go out grocery shopping, and he will be like let me hold it, and you just pick things, and he will hold it for you, there also might be conflicts because of change in opinion or your some different beliefs but i feel he will be apologizing to you for making you feel that way. They will not disrespect you or make a joke that will break you but most likely they will support you if someone is disrespecting you? they won't tolerate they will stood up for you, or at least calm the situation, i heard "hopeless romantic" so it could be you or them for sure, they will make you feel at ease and peace, you inner child will be safe with them, you don't have to feel you have to do something to earn his attention it's already yours, "when i look at you or think of you the world seems to stop and I don't know what i can do to make myself at ease, i just wanna meet you now" the emotions , the love everything will flow easily, you might also be their passenger princess, they will hold on to you cherish you, put efforts in the love and relationship, they would not want to lose you and they will make sure you know, I also feel outside you are very respectful couples, but at home you are very freaky like tear off my clothes type, best combo honestly, they will make you feel more loved and confident in your own body, I strongly feel you both will go through ups and down but make it out stronger than ever, i heard "i will worship the ground you walk on". You both are emotionally and financially stable couples, communication is very important for you guys.
Wow pile 1, they kept giving me messages, so sweet, i love it!
Pile 2:
(The cards I got for you guys - 3 of cups, the chariot, the empress, page of cups and ace of swords)
Okay so the first thing i feel is they will treat you with utmost respect, even in bed or normal setting they will be treating you with such sincerity, they respect your wishes. I see them losing them in you. They are quite dominant or seductive, but also polite, they will be very soft spoken towards you, I also feel your relationship will be still playful, but with respect and boundaries and that's why i got the message of him being respectful towards you, I feel they will give you the things you desire the most and need, they will take care of health and even career wise, like asking if you are okay, is there new issues in your life regarding it, for some of you they would tell you to take it easy when you're distressed or not happy with what you have been doing, i feel they will try to motivate you, heal you, make you move forward towards the thing you wanna do , encourage you regarding your career or even personal life, they will be okay with whatever you do, as long as you are with them, they will trust you a lot too i feel, very it's super important in your life and with him, I feel he will be making sure you know that he have your back no matter what, i heard "my eyes won't leave you, no matter where you are you stay in my heart and head all the time, and it's not like i am complaining, I also feel they will be giving you baits to be with them more lol, like so you don't go to work and stay with them, their love language could be words of affirmation too, they will not let a single day go by that they won't show that to you, you will mean a lot to them, they will nurture you, you know a saying the more you cherish something they stay forever? that's kind of mindset they have, they won't like to be separated with you, they might also like to give you space, but also suffer because they wanna cling on to you so bad, very motherly vibe too, for some of you could be cancer moon? or you guys are, I also feel he will make sure you have eaten no matter how upset you are, check in with you, if you went to the hospital alone? and they were busy so they will call you and ask you what has happened are you okay, what did the doctor say, they don't or won't abandon you in any hardship you both go through, I also feel they are very young or pure hearted, they don't or won't make you upset or try not to, your anger with them, will only make them fall harder lol, so cute, with them you will see love, marriage and relationships with new perspective, maybe some of you have bad opinion on marriage, they will change that, i also feel they are very open minded and have good beliefs. I also see a situation where they text you every morning, and tell you how appreciative they are of you.
Pile 2, your future spouse, is a very loving and honest person, and they will make sure you feel loved everyday.
Pile 3:
(The cards I got for you guys - Ace of cups, 3 of wands, knight of wands, 6 of wands, 8 of pentacles and knight of cups)
Okay so i feel very playfully like so loving in a way, you saw in movies, opening the car gate for you? check? holding your hand while crossing the road? check. Winning things for you in fair or parks, also check. They will treat you like a freaking sweetheart so aggressive love too, but not in a hurting way, you guys have you seen the video where the guy piggyback his girl and say "you are my princess and queen" that's exactly what i channeled when i think about how your fs will treat you. He won't let you do things alone, helping you in every way he can, he might even tell you to don't work so that he can provide you, he would want you to be stress free and at peace with him, i feel a scene where he plans movie nights at home with you, treat you with snack, his love language could be physical touch , he would like to kiss you a lot, a passionate energy from this pile, he is in tune or has a emotional side as well as dark passionate side in bed, you will be in a ride of your life with him, he will be also very protective of you in every way he can, he would not like men being friendly towards you, but honestly nothing in a bad way, more like you are mine type of energy lol, he would like to touch you a lot when you are outside, showing everyone you are with him, He won't let you fall apart again, when you tell him about your past or the relationships you have had he will hate it honestly, for how they treated you, he will even do so much after care after your intimate time with each other, very emotional and sincere, a package honestly, I also feel he will help you explore the hidden parts about yourself, he won't shame, even if you are in wrong, i see him supporting you, but will politely let you know you were wrong, i heard "when i love you, it's only you, no one else", there is some versatilities in your relationship but i see him and you respecting that and still being attracted to each other both emotionally and physically, he will treat you as you are a part of himself, doing things to make you happy like if you want to dance and he doesn't he still will do that, he wants to see you the happiest with him, it's funny how he sending me little nsfw messages for you guys like sir this ain't the right reading for it, but i am still gonna channel got to give you guys what your future spouse wants, no? hehe, I also feel he will sweep you off with his charm like everything even if you are cold hearted or believe in actions , he will just melt you lol, he will also be a very smooth talker, i feel musk scent for some reason?, he will admire you a lot, and treat you as a win, a charm for him, he feels he got lucky he got you and he will show it to you, he is also quite playful with you and likes to tease you but all in a good way, some people could be jealous of your and their dynamic too, for them you are the only one, and that's so loving and admirable, I also feel he will cook dinner for you if you got late from work or anywhere, so that you can rest without stress. They seem so gentle and caring with you.
Such a gentleman! love it for you pile 3.
Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3
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