#but i was working strong on my hobbies and health until I expressed some trouble breathing and we noticed a growth in my neck

[michaelganaha]

I got screened for a cancer and found a plethora of health issues that have taken up essentially all my time outside of my current commissions.

I'm real sorry the GTA and new SR art has been delayed this long, but it is for a good cause! I am applying for surgery and more scans to assess treatment options to recover my health as soon as possible!

It has been very scary, but I wish to heal and return to art very soon so I am not giving up! But I do need a little bit more time before I set up some fun stuff.

[ryopangari-mateus]

Random questions.

(Since I am super bored and no one actually asks me questions I have went ahead and filled them all out.) 001. When is their birthday? 3rd Sun of the 6th Astral Moon 002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday? Not normally. 003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea? Tea 004. Do they prefer being alone or with others? It really depends on the moment. Ryo likes her privacy and does not like huge crowds. She does like spending time with her loved ones. 005. Are they in good health? Yes 006. What sense do they most rely on? Sight/smell 007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist? Depends on the situation. 008. What is their favorite fairy tale? N/a 009. Do they believe in happy endings? Not really 010. Do they believe in love at first sight? Not in the normal aspect. She believes that there is a connection between souls, not always pertaining to love. Even with that connection, love is something that requires work. 011. How would your character court the person of their dreams? She already has the person of her dreams… though their start was not "fairytale" material. 012. What makes your character embarrassed? Compliments, messing up (which happens quite a bit) 013. Have they ever been bullied or teased? Yes 014. Detail one secret shame your character feels. Allowing the tribe to influence her thoughts on others for so long. 015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue.. Until that no longer works. 016. What is their choice of weapon? Red mage Rapier or white mage staff 017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved? Depends on the situation. 018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do? "Ah shit.. Again? So much for my quiet day." -Gets out of bed with a sigh and gets to work- 019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Isn't Hydaelyn's blessing and the echo enough? Okay.. If she had to pick something else it would be the ability to read minds. 020. What are their hobbies? Painting, crafting 021. How do they display affection? Hugs and dotes. 022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? The sky in Churning Mists both during a thunderstorm or a clear night. Sunrise from her home. 023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically? Ryo does not normally focus on the outer beauty because it can be very deceiving. 024. What do they consider ugly in others physically? See above answer 025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise? Kind, willingness to help others, and bravery. 026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise? Deceit and lies 027. What is their idea of perfect happiness? (Alone)Curled up with a book or painting with music in the background. (With others) Spending time with her loved ones. 028. What makes them laugh out loud? A lot of things. Most often is the craziness of her FC. 029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have? Ryo can find humor in a lot of things. Her sense of humor ranges from dark and light airy, even the occasional inappropriate joke. 030. Do they believe in the afterlife? Yes 031. Are they superstitious about anything? Not anything specific. 032. Does your character believe in ghosts? Of course, she's seen them before. 033. Do they keep their promises? Yes 034. What’s their view of lying? Absolutely despises it.. She hates being lied to. However on the flip side of that she can also see the benefits of having to lie sometimes. 035. What is the most important rule your character lives by? Always do what you say you are going to.. 036. How honorable is your character? For the most part she is pretty honorable. 037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do? There was a time when she would have THOUGHT about keeping it… Now Ryo makes a pretty decent living from her paintings and adventuring on the side. 038. What bad habits do they have? 039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Exploiting someone for your own gain. 040. What is their obsession? Plushies. 041. Are they comfortable with technology? Yes 042. What is their greatest achievement? Not sure. 043. What will they stand up for? Ryo stands up for those who need it. 044. What disgusts them? See above answers. 045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions? No 046. How do they handle getting sick? Ryo usually does not show that she is sick. If she gets sick she normally powers through it… That is until she pushes herself too far and gets even more sick. She then becomes a sick child who wants nothing more than to be held and to sleep. 047. What was the last medical problem your character had? N/a 048. Do they have any allergies? No. 049. How does your character feel about growing old? She is indifferent. 050. How does your character feel about their own mortality? Ryo doesn't really think about it. She knows that on every mission that she goes on it is something that can happen but she doesn't dwell on it. 051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today? Ryo isn't one who would do crazy things. She would spend a quiet day at home surrounded by those that she loved. 052. What is your character’s worst flaw? Ryo appears very standoffish. Because of that some people feel that they have a hard time approaching her. 053. What is your character’s greatest strength? Not to sound cliche, but her greatest strength her friends and family. Because Ryo has issues making new contacts those bonds that she has established are strong 054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind? No. 055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert.. Ryo tries being more sociable but usually ends up wishing that she were home with a good book. 056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger? Yes. 057. Has your character ever killed anyone? Uhhh….. 058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day? See above (question 27) 059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up? "Wait what?" "The things I'd do for a refresh." 060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning? Learning is lifelong. It doesn't just stop once your education is done. 061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security? A little bit of both. 062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind? Ryo does not seek to leave a legacy. 063. How well does your character handle difficult people? Avoids them if possible. If not possible she confronts them. 064. In what ways does your character annoy others? Not sure. 065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer? When in a group Ryo will usually let someone else lead. That's not to say that if she does not agree with them that she won't speak up. 066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature? Out in nature. 067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny? No. 068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it? 069. What about your character is heroic? Ryo enjoys helping out other people. 070. What about your character is cowardly? While she doesn't normally let it stop her, she is always thinking of ways that things can go wrong. 071. How kind is your character? Very, though she doesn't always look it. 072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.) Druid or sorcerer 073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.) Hmmm…. Not sure. 074. What is your character’s favorite game? N/a 075. Is your character ticklish? Yes 076. How do they express anger? Ryo has trouble hiding her anger.. It shows on her face. As for how she expresses it that depends on the situation. 077. How often do they cry? Over what? Not very often. 078. How emotionally stable is your character? Normally pretty stable. 079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others? Easy. 080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions? Depends on the emotion. Sometimes people misread her. 081. Is your character religious? No. 082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences? On her side or her back. Cooler room, blanket on. 083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up? Nothing specific. 084. Describe your character in one word. Helpful 085. Describe your character in three words. Sometimes too helpful 086. How would your character describe themself in one word? Complicated. 087. How would your character describe themself in three words? 088. Is your character quiet or loud? Quiet normally 089. How vocally expressive is your character? Depends on the situation 090. How bodily expressive is your character? She is pretty expressive. She talks with her hands, and has trouble hiding her emotions as it normally shows in her expression or movements. 091. What type of music does your character like? She will listen to anything atleast once. She doesnt have a favorite genre. 092. What emotion does your character evoke in others? She hopes that she evokes joy. 093. What is your character’s goal in life? To live a good life and find something beautiful in everyday. 094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know. Not sure. If i think of something ill come back to this. 095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do. Same as above. 096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project? Ryo is normally a ball of energy, especially when she is around her family and friends. 097. How well do they adapt to change? Not very well. 098. Does your character like animals? Absolutely. 099. Do they talk to inanimate objects? Occasionally 100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about? Ryo either does not dream or does not remember her dreams. If she remembers anything at all it is usually the energy or feelings from her dreams.

[imagine-loki]

Magic Potion of Mischief

TITLE: Magic Potion of Mischief

Authors :latent-thoughts & lokilover9

Notes: Hello everyone. My lovely tumblr wife and I have come together again to offer you another laugh on our behalf. We hope you enjoy it. 😘

Rating: Teen

Original Imagine: Before Thor’s Coronation, Loki had a secret hobby of making potions. Or so he believed. Odin learned of it and went to him for a ‘specific’ remedy. Loki strengthened the dose and trouble ensued.

———————————-

Loki arrived in his private chambers within the palace via a portal generated by his magic. He had kept himself consistently concealed from Heimdall, for no other reason than having his privacy. Ever since he had entered his youth, the fact that Heimdall could see all of his activities had rubbed him the wrong way.

And the Gatekeeper had not shown a shred of regret in giving Loki a piece of his mind on whatever activity he had seen Loki participating in.

Needless to say, Loki’s desperation to avoid Heimdall’s gaze had proven to be fruitful.

Loki quickly settled in his study then, ordering dinner to be sent to his chambers. He wasn’t in a mood to dine with others, especially not his dunderhead brother. He had much to accomplish before the night would be over. Night was his favoured time to work on his projects.

When the servants came by with the dinner, he was nose deep in an ancient tome about potion mixing. They asked him very pointedly if he’d remain in his chambers only. This most likely his mother’s doing, asking after him through the servants.

He dismissed the servants after stating that he would retire for the night early, claiming exhaustion after hours of riding amidst the woods.

Finally, the servants were gone. Blessed silence…

After eating his dinner, Loki promptly returned to his study with the aim to finish his reading before heading for bed. He was only halfway through it when his head servant hurriedly approached him with a most surprising news.

“The Allfather wishes to see you, my liege. He’s at the door.”

Loki faced the servant astonished, noting it well past midnight. “What could be so pressing, it couldn’t be spared until morning?”

“I’m uncertain, your highness. The Allfather didn’t explain.”

Odin appeared in the doorway of his study, politely dismissed the servant and Loki curiously observed ‘him’, wait until the servant was gone. Then rising to his feet, he bowed to Odin in a slightly mocking manner, earning a frown. "Good evening, father. How may I help you?”

“We must speak.”

No shit…. “Regarding?”

“Recently, I sought to remedy an ’ailment’, which Eir hasn’t the means to resolve, by discreetly searching the black market for potions.”

Loki feigned innocence. “And?”

“As a result, I was steered back to you.”

Fuck….

“Me? Whatever for? I assure you, father, you’ve been led astray.” Loki gave him his best wide-eyed expression of innocence.

He knew very well that his seidr practice was frowned upon by the royal council. A potion business on the side would be open to even more ridicule. Thus why he kept the potion business in secrecy.

But trust the Allfather to find out about it. He must have sicked his ravens on him.

Odin gave him a stern look of disapproval. “Oh, put a sock in, son. Word is out, you’re Asgard’s best kept secret where potions are concerned and I’m desp–I need aid.”

Loki sighed in defeat. “Very well. What do you require?”

“It has come to mine and the entire palace’s attention… that your mother is quite irritable as of late.”

Loki’s pursed his lips and nodded. “I’ve noticed it as well. Perhaps it’s midlife hormonal changes. Certainly Eir could…”

Odin raised his palm to stop Loki mid-sentence. “She recently went through all the relevant hormone tests at the healer’s and all is well…” The Allfather hesitated a moment. ��…Yet the mood swings have only become more pronounced.”

Loki was at a loss for a solution, as the problem seemed non-existent. “Norns, then what could be ailing her?”

The king squared his shoulders and cleared his throat, looking stricken. “Certainly not mine, that would be preposterous”, he stated, struggling to contain eye contact.

Loki was truly intrigued now, yet still perplexed. If anything, Odin looked even more uncomfortable than before.

The realization then struck Loki like a lightning bolt, causing a smirk to grace his lips. “Have you come to me because you’re lacking the ability to raise your sword in glory, father?”

Odin’s eyes narrowed. “Should I hear any word of this beyond these chambers, that same sword will cut your royal allowance in half.”

Loki’s nose crinkled in disgust. “Should I disobey, I’d prefer you used another.”

“Loki Odinson!”

“Calm yourself father, I’m merely jesting.” He chuckled inwardly when Odin breathed a sigh of relief. “How much do you need?”

“You’re the master of unethical potion making, shouldn’t you know?” Odin’s tone was quite patronizing as he said that, which irked Loki to no end.

“Fair enough.” Loki conjured a small potion bottle, the size of his pinky. “There you are. It works instantly.”

Odin took the bottle from him and inspected the blue liquid inside. “How much do I consume?”

“Everything,” he replied with a shrug. “As a safety precaution, I never offer more than a single dose to start.”

“Wise choice, son. Thank you and remember…” Odin raised his finger in warning. “You are to abide by the rules of utter discretion in this matter.”

“You have my word, father.” Loki clasped his hands behind his back and solemnly nodded.

With his problem now sorted, Odin dispersed.

Loki didn’t really want to picture it, but was certain his father would seek his mother quite soon. He snickered loudly once alone, having controlled his amusement for so long. The reason being, that Odin had just received the strongest potion Loki had ever concocted for this particular purpose. Thrice as strong as the usual dosage.

“That should earn you some accolades dear father.”

Loki went back to his half-finished tome and waited for the ruckus to begin.

—————————————————

The potion made Odin’s erection last over a day, forcing him to consult Eir for a remedy to ease it. All in all, it had been a most embarrassing experience, one which rendered the Allfather red-faced.

Loki had gotten the wind of it through the palace staff and their rather loud whispers. It had been a well executed prank, though, he did feel apprehensive about the backlash from his father. Regardless of Odin’s anger, there were always those dark paths between realms through which Loki could readily escape and not return for the next fifty years.

He hadn’t, however, added the variable of his mother’s fury into the equation.

He was made aware of it by none other than Odin himself, who burst into his chambers, looking haggard and sleep deprived. “I should have you quartered for that trick! What in Valhalla were you thinking?“

Loki crossed his arms and gave his father a knowing smile as he swiftly diverted the topic off himself. "You sly old dog. I heard mother was trapped in your chambers for hours, if not more.”

That made his father halt in his tracks, a smirk of pride replacing his scowl. This was delightful to Loki, for Odin chose to let go of his anger in exchange for focusing on taking pride in his restored manly prowess.

"I won’t deny it was entertaining. Especially when Frigga held me tight and…” He coughed and caught himself at the last moment, much to Loki’s relief. “…right. Presently, your mother is giving me the silent treatment.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, well, and I must warn you. Do not laugh or even think of making the slightest comment of mockery upon seeing her.”

“Oh my…” Loki pressed a palm to his chest. “Dare I ask?”

Odin coughed again, though a chuckle escaped through as well. “She’s walking rather ‘peculiar.’”

Loki cackled at that. “Shall I conjure you a second dose?”

Odin suddenly glared at him. “Shall I feed you to a bilgesnipe? I guarantee you if I took another dose and touched your mother afterwards, that would be my fate, son.”

Loki shrugged, trying not to cackle again.

Seconds later, though, his father seemed to perk up at that thought. “Let me think about it. Perhaps in a few days time.”

Loki clasped his hands together at the possibility of yet another prank. “Well, you need only ask.”

—————————————-

A FEW WEEKS LATER…

—————————————-

Odin banged at Loki’s door and angrily shouted. “Loki, you incorrigible cad! It’s time you were fed to a horrid beast! Open up!”

It was morning, and Loki wasn’t a morning person. Hence, it took time to present himself to his furious father. That just seemed to fuel his anger, more.

Odin stomped inside as soon as Loki opened the door to his chambers, smacking it closed with a flick of his spear–the Gungnir. “You deplorable wretch!”

“Good morning to you too, father,” Loki responded, his mouth stretching in a long yawn. Still mentally asleep, his father’s invectives weren’t really registering. “What has you in such a pleasant mood?”

“I’ve knocked up your mother!”

Loki’s yawning was immediately cut short and he was suddenly wide awake. “What?!”

Odin glowered at him. “You heard me!”

Loki’s jaw dropped in shock. “At her age? How is that even possible?”

“How is…you’re asking me? Your damned potion caused it!”

“Yes, but–”

“And your mother was in her fertile phase!”

Loki opened his mouth to speak, but no words could come out. He acknowledged that this was one of those very rare moments when his silvertongue was utterly inept.

Odin banged the Gungnir against the floor, making it shake. “Your mother is in distress! I’m horrified and disappointed in your actions!”

“What is Eir saying?” Loki gulped, worried that perhaps this time his prank had gone too far. “Is it a hazard to mother’s health?”

Odin stared at him aghast. “What? No. She’s a resilient woman. A warrior and queen!”

Loki breathed a sigh of relief. “Then… the baby?”

Odin gave him a withering look. “The babies are fine too. It’s just… a shock!”

Loki did a double take. “Babies?”

Odin lost it again at that, picking up a book lying on the mantle to throw it at Loki’s head, who narrowly avoided it by ducking. “Yes, you fool! Babies! Your dastardly potion caused me to sire triplets!”

That was when Loki undoubtedly knew… he’d fucked up.

“My heartiest congratulations, father.” As soon as he said that, he dashed out the door. Odin gave chase for a while, but couldn’t keep up which Loki had already predicted.

Just when believing himself free from parental reprimanding, his path crossed with Frigga’s, who looked none too happy about carrying three children of Odin.

“Are you responsible for this, God of Mischief?” She came at him with her royal dagger drawn, making him back away in fear. “Rumor has it you’ve a side career!”

Loki saw Thor bounding towards him from another corridor and realized he was trapped. He nervously laughed, raising his arms to depict surrender. “I love you mother! You know that.”

“You’re going to pay for this, Loki!”

“Looks like I already am,” he muttered, “but really, where’s the bad side here. You’re going to get a gaggle of children, and that’s going to keep you quite pleasantly busy.” And keep you off my back…

“Loki,” Thor’s voice boomed. “What is this I’m hearing of? Is mother–”

Just then, Frigga lurched forward, dropping her dagger to the floor. Both the sons hastily grabbed each of her arms, trying to hold her steady her as she swayed.

“Mother?” Loki looked at her in concern, trying his best to ignore Thor’s perplexed and angry gaze.

“I’m fine, you cad! It’s just… morning sickness.”

She lurched again, hurling the contents of her breakfast in the direction of Thor’s cape.  

“Norns!” He screamed, all high pitched and full of terror, falling victim to her projectile.

Loki narrowly missed getting it on him and at least he didn’t scream like a distressed maiden. He tried his best then, to help her to her room, while Thor trailed them. “There, there, it’s going to be fine.”

Frigga glared at him. “I have half a mind to slap you senseless!”

That’s when Loki knew that he had overstayed his welcome at his mother’s side. “I’ll see you soon, mother!” She tried to grab his arm but he slipped away, opening the portal to his secret potion lab. “Until we meet again!” He knew he may just have saved himself by a hair’s breadth, as his mother yelled and cursed him until it closed.

“I know magic too and will find you, you little shit! You’ll pay for this, I swear!”

——————————————-

Some time later, when feeling like herself again, Frigga approached Heimdall and demanded to know Loki’s whereabouts.

“Forgive me, my gracious Queen” he replied with a straight face. “Magic has concealed him from my sight.”

“And the King?” She asked with a scowl.

Valhalla help me should I offer you congratulations… he thought, just about keeping himself from cringing.

“He has taken shelter in the armory.”

She smiled in a way that made the watcher almost shudder in apprehension. “Thank you, good Heimdall. Your services shall be rewarded.”

She stormed off then, heading towards the armory and Heimdall could only hope that the king knew how to calm the queen’s anger… hopefully without needing a magical potion.

Once she was out sight, Heimall snickered at Loki’s plight. “Enjoy your new lodgings, God of potions and deceit. You may be there a time. Payback for my 'two’ sets of triplets.”

———————————

Ten months later, Frigga went into labor, spewing profanities at Odin. “Your days of quim wedging are over, you beast! Raise that sword to me ever again and I'll…”

She doubled over with a strong contraction and recalled the main culprit behind her predicament. “BILGESNIPE LOKIIII!”

Balder, Vidarr, Hermod.

[askanonbinary]

I have a very specific question. Hopefully I can be clear. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, which has a symptom of multiple personalities. I have eight personalities in total. They have a separate inner voice, emotions, perception of our physical state, memories, opinions, hobbies, and names. But there’s a sense that they are all me, just subconsciously. For example, I can’t remember a lot about high school, and when I do remember it I remember it from a third person perspective (weird right? I see myself doing things!). Those memories are held by another personality, and working with her can help me remember the facts. Becoming her would help me feel that ‘I’ experienced it.  

See, that’s the thing. I have depression as well, and to beat depression I am encouraged to deny abusive inner voices. My therapist tells me, “Depression lies.” And it’s true. Curing my depression meant separating myself from those inner feelings, recognizing that my depression is not me. 

But with D.I.D., it’s the opposite. Denying these inner voices, even when they’re being abusive, makes my disorder worse. I am encouraged to understand my other parts, not matter how different they are. To work together. Someday, to realize they do not lie, and that they are me. If, for most disorders, the survival method is to have a strong shield, for me it’s to hold hands with my disorder? Kind of? 

Anyway, I have been accomplishing it with one personality, named Conan (1 of 7, still a long way to go!). We work together. We collaborate, covering each other’s weaknesses with our own strengths. It’s a two-way communication – even though it’s just me! I can tell it’s working, because I’m starting to realize that he feels more like me. Like it’s more seamless. I’m more like him now (hahaha, I swear WAY more now) and he’s more like me (he admits he likes Disney movies). Like more than 90% of patients with D.I.D., he almost never ‘takes control’ of our body. No one does anymore – it’s a big improvement! But…  

Well, I never expected to feel gender dysphoria. But I did, and severely. Two years ago, I finally finished a total gender expression change – clothes, hair, makeup, shaving etc. Because it was unbearable without it. I still only pass about 40% of the time because I have a large chest (mostly from the back). I have trouble with binding, (back problems, weight, panic attacks), but I still did sometimes. I would really like chest surgery. It was great to look in the mirror with a drastically more masculine presentation, but I still feel like I am not myself when I look at my chest – but see, there I go! Talking about seeing ‘myself’, of feeling like I’m finally ‘me’…what does that mean for someone like me?! 

I feel like my experiences can’t belong in the context of trans or non-binary narratives. It’s just…I’m not who those labels are for? And, when people see me and ask, “Oh, you’re trans?”, even positively, it’s just a far more complicated question then they know. 

Maybe I’m not, because Conan isn’t trans; he’s a man. My personalities are young and old, man and woman. One is actually nonbinary? But what am I? I am me, but I know that my perception of me isn’t reality…or is it?

I identified as a cis woman until Conan and I started…blending, for lack of a better word. I was comfortable presenting as feminine. I think? But I also know that I started doing things like binding my chest all the way back in high school, though I’m still not sure why. Sometimes I had different clothes, that were specially for wandering the town. I liked to go where no one knew me; I liked to be someone else. Is that the same as having a fluid identity? Because in the end I realized it was actually a set of identities: 7, like I said. Yet…

There used to be 6. The new personality, emerged recently, is the person I was about three years ago. Before the dysphoria hit. The woman. Not just the woman but the idealist, the artist…her name is Willow now. She makes me think I’m not sure if I’m actually ‘blending’ anymore, or am I just becoming Conan? And does being Conan mean being trans?

I don’t talk about this usually, because so often people dismiss me as crazy. Lol, not that I’m not – I literally technically am! But I’m just not sure…what to call myself. I’m not fluid – that would be offensive, man, because this whole process of curing my disorder treats having fluid identities as the disorder! And it has many other symptoms for me, it’s true. I want to feel like I’m ‘me’. 

Non-binary is an excellent descriptor for me, I am literally more than two lol, but that’s not what that label means.

Many assume I’m trans, and I have a lot in common with the experiences of trans people I think, but being trans assumes one self. I think? Where I’m coming from is totally different. 

And, in the end, my other selves are not really real. But they are really me. It makes for a double experience: I feel like I’m losing myself, and finally gaining it.

In short, if I don’t know who I am, can I be something? 

Thank you for reading, I know it was long, and I would really appreciate some advice about how to identify, to feel secure and supported, but also be respectful of movements and terms that are larger than myself. And I understand if it’s confusing or you don’t know what to say, in the end. It’s okay. I feel the same. I actually think all of psychiatry feels the same, hahaha. Regardless, thanks for listening.

- @quiteamazedandthankyouforasking

Your existence and identity is not harmful to people’s perceptions of being nonbinary. If they’re gonna take problem with you, they’re gonna take problem with me because they hold harmful and ignorant beliefs. You shouldn’t have to hide yourself away in the closet for “the community’s” sake.

Nonbinary isn’t a term just for neurotypical people. I think you’ll find most of us here on this blog are neurodivergent ourselves, and while not all of us may consider our gender wrapped up in our neurodivergency, for many people, it really is. There’s even a whole category of nonbinary identities about this called neurogenders: https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Neurogender & http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Neurogender

Gender can be impacted by any host of ‘outside’ factors: culture, religion, neurodivergency, trauma… I myself have grabbled over my gender identity being tied up to my past trauma. My romantic orientation certainly is, and my gender probably is as well, but working out if that’s how it feels is… difficult to navigate.

To say that being nonbinary can NEVER intersect with these factors is to do ourselves and our community a disservice. It is to gatekeep and police people’s identity, to tell them there is a certain way they must identify. It is to box them into a corner and not allow themselves to express themselves as they are.

The problem is when people think things like “being nonbinary in and of itself is a mental disorder and therefore something to be fixed because you’re wrong and broken”. But you can totally be nonbinary as a result of mental illness or a personality disorder or whatever. That’s 100% valid and anybody who tells you that you’re not welcome is being bigoted themselves. 

It’s also okay if how you feel in regards to your mental health and your gender(s) changes later! It’s okay if your relationship to gender changes as you make progress with your mental health. It’s okay to grow and change as a person. This sometimes means our understanding of ourselves changing, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

You can’t help who you are or if your identity is all wrapped up and confusing. You  just being you isn’t harmful to our community. People who paint us all with one brush are harmful to our community. People who would encourage eugenics or erasure for the “sake” of our community are harmful to our community. People who try to dictate how others experience their own identity are harmful to our community.

So you’re nonbinary and depressed with DID? (Since I’m also ace and these are big ace issues…) There are ace people who’s ace identity is wrapped up in them being autistic, or is wrapped up with medications they take, or is wrapped up as a part of mental illnesses they have, or is wrapped up in past trauma. Exact same thing goes for gender. That doesn’t make them any less valid and this doesn’t make you any less valid. We need to accept that there are many ways to be. Even if you were harming someone, that wouldn’t make your identity invalid - although it would mean you’d be less welcome in safe spaces.

So I say you’re welcome. <3

And more than that, if these different personalities have different genders… well, it certainly sounds like that is something to explore.

But however you identify, whatever label you choose… that alone is your choice and your choice alone. While you may not understand or know yourself that well, you are still the one who best knows how you feel and is best equipped to explore labels and decide what is right for you. If identifying as nonbinary feels right, then identify as nonbinary! Be nonbinary. If you relate to a lot of trans experiences, then that sounds like something to seriously consider! 

You do not have to be totally neurotypical or mentally healthy or physically healthy or completely absolutely understand yourself (honest truth: no one does) to be nonbinary. It’s okay if your identity and relationship to your identity is messy and complicated and confusing and even weird. Honestly? That’s some of what being nonbinary is about, really. The fact that we have messy, confusing, complicated, hard to understand relationships to our gender. No matter our mental status.

~ Mod Sock

[coolseanobuseng]

New Post has been published on https://legitlover.com/how-to-make-a-man-fall-madly-in-love-with-you-10-tips/

How To Make A Man Fall Madly In Love With You - 10 Tips

10 tips on how to make a man fall madly in love with you will definitely leave you with too much info to take it easy when it comes to handling a man.

By Slade Shaw Author of Why Men Pull Away <=  “Be the flame, not the moth.” – Giacomo Casanova We all want to be loved. It’s a human need – we yearn for that magical connection with The One Person meant for each of us. You might be on the lookout for that guy right now, just as he’s searching for someone like you. Or maybe you’re already in a relationship and you want to keep the flames of passion burning ferociously bright with your man. Either way, you’d do well to learn the secrets to turning him on like crazy. If you can make him feel things he’s never felt with any other woman before, then he’s as good as YOURS. Meet Tina

She was like most women who stumbled in the dark when it came to men and dating. Tina, a real estate agent from Surrey, had trouble keeping a guy around. Either he “needed space”, wasn’t “ready commit to something long-term” or had some equally lame excuse available. So she jumped from one relationship to the next and fell into the same patterns over and over. After a few weeks of getting hot and heavy, the guy was soon out the door… …and into another woman’s arms. Her latest one was a colleague named Jeff – and like the others, things crashed and burned before it could even get off the ground. They had a few dates and seemed to have fun (especially in bed!), but it soon fizzled out like the others. Jeff suddenly became unavailable, dodged Tina’s calls and messages…until he was out of the picture just like that. After her last disappointment, Tina started to get desperate. She began to think there was something seriously wrong with her. “My last REAL relationship was almost a decade ago, and I’ve gotten nothing but duds ever since. Maybe I pissed off the dating gods or something to deserve my rotten luck with men!” However, Tina is anything but an isolated case. I’ve met – and helped – lots of women in the same boat as her.

How To Make A Man Fall Madly In Love With You – 10 Tips

Related Article: How to make a guy fall in love with over text. And today, I’m going to let you in on the 10 Incredibly Effective Ways to Capture Your Guy’s Heart Forever: #1: Please his eyes When I tell you that you need to be physically attractive to capture his interest, that doesn’t means guys are shallow. This is what I call “getting your foot in the door.” Sure, women might not prioritize looks as much as guys do. But you can’t deny that a man ALSO needs to be visually appealing on some level before feeling attracted to him. That’s not right or wrong – it’s simply biology in action. To flip those hardwired switches in him, you’ll need to put in the work. Take note that has nothing to do with being “perfect”, because that’s a relative concept. Every guy has a “type” and there’s no ONE kind of woman that ALL men are into. That means you WILL click with someone, one way or another. All you need to do is take care of yourself, which is what you should be doing anyway regardless. I could write a whole book about looking and feeling your best, but here’s a quick checklist to go over for now:

First things first: paying attention to hygiene is non-negotiable, and so is staying fit and active. Grooming is a must, so don’t neglect the basic things either. Guys need to know you care about this stuff before seeing you as a potential partner.

Flaunt your feminine side: experiment with different scents, keep your skin smooth and soft with lotions and use makeup when necessary (tip: less is more!).

Have an impeccable sense of style: The right packaging sends the right signals to his caveman brain, so keep your clothes neat and pressed. Also, choose soft fabrics that accentuate your curves – they have a soothing appeal that’ll drive him crazy with desire!

#2: Create killer chemistry To establish a strong connection with a guy (or strengthen it with a long-term partner), he needs to feel that he has a lot of common ground with you. Does your personality and attitude give him the impression that he can open himself up to you? And he can have conversations with you that seem to go on forever (but don’t feel that way)? Does he feel like you “get” him on a level that’s deeper than anyone else he’s met? Does your sense of humor jive with his, and do you laugh at the same dumb jokes? Do you have a burning curiosity for each other? Does he want to pick your brain and know what makes you tick – and likewise for you? If your personality and attitude can create that type of climate in the relationship, then you’re doing it right. Discover Why Men Pull Away – and make sure he’ll NEVER leave you…<=  #3: Get him to trust you A lot of women think that getting emotionally close with a guy is as easy as sleeping with him. But jumping into bed isn’t going to do the trick. If he wasn’t sure about how he felt for you BEFORE doing the deed… …he’ll feel all the more uncertain the morning after. If you want to create an unshakable bond with your man, the first step is ACCEPTING him. This is HUGE on a guy’s list – it might even be higher than sex, if not just as important. A man wants to feel that their partner accepts them as who he is – NOT what she wants him to be. Women don’t realize they do this in small ways, like giving him the raised eyebrow when it comes to the way he dresses. A few helpful suggestions are fine, but don’t go nuts and turn him into your personal makeover guinea pig. The same goes for the stuff he’s into or the people he hangs out with. If it’s not getting in the way of your relationship, it’s not worth butting heads with him over it. #4: Be his wing(wo)man If you want him to see you as a partner and not just a one-time fling, you need to live up to the title. And to do that, he’ll need your SUPPORT. If he’s going through a hellish time in his career or has stuff of his own to sort out, he’ll need to know you’ve got his back. Men tend to withdraw a bit emotionally when they’re fighting some battle in their life, so don’t take it personally. He’s just going into a one-track-mind mode so he can focus his energy on whatever he needs to deal with at the moment. In the meantime, you can quietly assure him that you’ll be there for him. He’ll come back around after he wrestles those pesky problems into submission. #5: Pull back When a guy’s crazy about you, the best thing to do is make yourself scarce – but just a little bit. I’m not telling you to play the hard-to-get game where you’re blowing him off on purpose just to see him squirm. That’s manipulation – and let me tell you, guys are NOT thrilled by that at all. I’m just asking you not to “spoil” him too much and overindulge in the relationship. Otherwise, it could throw off the balance in both your lives. So where do you draw the line when it comes to pulling back? An easy way to do this is by asking yourself. “Am I sacrificing my own growth, well-being or sense of individuality by hanging out too much with him?” If your other priorities are out of whack – like your career, health or social life – then it’s time to rein yourself in a bit. Let him miss you a little and get busy being the AWESOME woman that you are. He’d rather have someone who isn’t available at his beck and call 24/7… …as opposed to a clingy, lovesick puppy who lives and breathes for his approval. #6: Inspire him to action One thing that turns on a guy is the feeling of being NEEDED. You might be thinking, “What?? Didn’t you just tell me to be a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a guy to be happy?” Well yes, but the operative word here is “feeling”. Any guy worth your time knows darn well that you don’t actually NEED him to live a full life. He just wants the privilege of being part of it anyway. And if you let him play the game where he gets to indulge his more brutish, masculine side, he’ll love you for it. Ask him to help you out with “guy stuff”, like moving some heavy stuff around, fixing something in the house, setting up your new computer or killing that bug that flew in your bathroom. Or you could ask him for his expertise on something, like which smart TV has true 1080p resolution or how to invest in Bitcoin…you get the idea. Men absolutely love knowing they can do this type of thing for their partner because that’s their “provider/protector instinct” kicking in. Discover Why Men Pull Away – and make sure he’ll NEVER leave you…<= 

#7: Let him do his thing The couples who’ve been together the longest are those who understand that they can’t be together every second of the day. This goes beyond what I said earlier about pulling back a little. From time to time, he’s going to want to go off and express himself… …and it won’t involve you. Women who are, well, less mature, will have a hard time accepting this fact about men. But that’s exactly what you need to respect, which is his need for individuality and independence. This factor alone can be a dealbreaker for most guys because they’re secretly afraid they’ll have to give those up once he commits to a woman. So alleviate those fears and let him have his friends, hobbies and other side projects he’s working on. #8: Take a chill pill Another thing that guys are worried about is that their partner’s going to freak out when he cracks the occasional inappropriate joke or takes an off-day playing Grand Theft Auto on his PS4. Essentially, guys are looking for that girl who won’t suck all the fun out of the relationship with her drama. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that’s what guys are thinking – they just don’t have the nerve to tell you. You can do this by keeping it cool when something unexpected happens, like canceled dinner plans on account of an emergency. Or it could also mean not having unspoken, arbitrary rules in the relationship that force him to walk on eggshells around you. You know, like not flipping out when he likes a female friend’s Facebook post or Instragram selfie – or on a bigger note, acknowledging the existence of other women in his life. If you can pick your battles and let the inconsequential stuff slide, he’ll be all the happier for it. #9: Don’t MAKE him fall in love with you This may come as a surprise to a lot of women, but you can’t actually tell a guy what to think or feel… …especially when it comes to deciding whether to commit to someone or not. Men won’t be MORE compelled to stick around if he feels FORCED into it. Pressure is never attractive. He needs to have the freedom to CHOOSE instead of feeling like he owes it to you. This is critical in the beginning when he’s still feeling things out. Try to avoid using labels like “exclusive”, “girlfriend” or “committed” until you’ve mutually confirmed it. And more importantly, you shouldn’t punish him in some way if he’s not as “on-board” as you are. Part of being in a relationship is stepping aside and letting it happen organically. If you try to create that closeness by sleeping with him or give him an ultimatum, he’ll eventually bail out on you since it wasn’t his real decision anyway. #10: Amazing Sex (need I say more?) You didn’t think we’d skip this one, did you? Assuming that you’ve bonded with him enough and the connection is there, the sexual component of your relationship is VITAL. I really hope these 10 tips on how to make a man fall madly in love with you have come in handy for you.

Without it, you might as well be platonic friends. With that, here are some essential tips you need to know:

Make him feel like a MAN…or THE Man, to be exact. Again, this is his caveman side we’re talking about. Guys want nothing more than to please their partner. Especially when it comes to that – which brings us to the next tip…

If he’s doing it right, TELL him. If your guy’s lighting you up like a Christmas tree, give him the signals. Your verbal and non-verbal cues will tell him you’re on bliss island. Slip a little R-rated language while you’re in throes of passion if you’re so inclined…

Communication is KEY. We’re approaching clichéd territory here, but it’s crucial nonetheless. Maybe you’ve hit a roadblock in your sex life for whatever reason. And it’s keeping you from giving 100% of yourself to him. If that’s the case, he deserves to know, but try to skip the harsh criticism and accusations. Trust me, if there’s anything he can do to help things get back on track, he’ll be more than willing.

Use the power of the “slow burn”. Men love being teased as long as they know it’ll lead up to the main event. Make a game out of it and don’t go for the obvious erogenous zones, like down south. Bring things to a simmering boil by touching him elsewhere that’s just as powerful and erotic. Or send him a quick text about what you’re going to do to him later on. Anything you that builds up the anticipation will keep him eager and willing to please you.

Whether you’ve been together for three months or three decades. There’s always plenty you can do to make him crave you like a cool drink on a hot summer day. With the right habits, you can easily cultivate the right atmosphere in your relationship. But there are women out there whose guy is slipping away FAST – and they need to stop him from walking out the door, pronto. In cases like that, you’ll need to bring out the big guns. You see, I’ve developed a system to keep a man not only interested and attracted to you… …but make him feel like living without you is NOT an option. After using my powerful techniques on him, he won’t see any other women aside from you. (And while he’s at it, he’ll stop looking at their Facebook and Instagram feeds without you asking him – just saying…) In other words, I can teach you how to make him OBSESSED with you so the thought of leaving won’t ever cross his mind. But let me warn you that this is powerful stuff and you should only use it on the right guy. You need to be sure that you NEVER want him to leave you. If you’re ready to take the plunge and learn why men pull away – Click here to watch my free video presentation…<=

[awishwee]

Just a way to vent and write out some feelings i’ve been having/update

If you don’t wanna read or listen to this kind of stuff just keep scrolling. 

I’ve been in school for the past 4 years studying psychology.spent another 2 years to go on a religious mission, and have found the human mind to be very fragile. So many things can influence our lives to the point where it ultimately influences our physical/emotional/spiritual health. And if you do not find equilibrium it will eat at you until you look in the mirror and see a whole different person staring at you.

3 months ago my pet cockatiel, Woodstock, died. I’ve had him for 14 years, and believed him to be around 15. So it wasn’t a huge surprise to me that one day he’d have to leave. But that’s not what shook me up. no, it was how he died and what was going on in my life during that time. 

I need to vent this out. so excuse my depressing story :( 

My Woodstock had always been a companion that would comfort me in any instance. I would return to my room everyday and just spend my time with him. I’d never keep him in his cage, so he’d learn to make my room his home, and would sit with me most of the time while I played my violin or draw. I loved him. So it was hard to move to college, where i couldn’t keep him around. when i’d visit home i’d always take good care to spent time with him, even more than my actual parents. I’d say goodbye to him before i’d leave and it hurt. I went on a mission and spent 2 years away, leaving his care to my mom (she loves pets so she was fine with it) i’d keep a picture with him in my family album and show him off to anyone who’d wanna look at it. I came home after that time to find him depressed and sad that he had no one to be around. I felt guilty. and honestly hated myself even more for it. I’d try to convince myself that he was only a bird, and that i had to leave him behind. I spent 2 years devoting my time to serve people and to better understand myself and the world. It was amazing! i would never take that time back. 

After my mission i had to return back to college to finish my schooling. Most of my friends from college changed, got married, or graduated so i felt pretty alone. It was hard adjusting and i missed Japan everyday since then. Because i knew that i was happy, and i wanted that feeling back. I wanted my life back, where i could be with my bird and pursue my hobbies and studies with a companion. 

My parents decided to sell their house. so i got a call from my mom explaining to me that i had to either sell my bird, or take him with me. I prayed to God that my renters would let me keep him even though there wasn’t a pet rule. I haven’t gone to church in a good year, and sort of jokingly agreed to go to church if God would let me keep my bird. Even with the rule, my renter agreed to let me keep my bird. I was so happy, and excited to finally have my bird with me. 

I was almost done with college and felt scared for the future, but having him with me made me care again. I dunno... it’s weird. 

But anyway. Even before i was able to bring him back i was scared because of his health. After my mission the vet said he was fine, but i’ve noticed a lot of changes in him before i took him with me to college. I was so scared of losing him. So when he started to show serious signs of illness, i panicked so hard. I took him to a vet, where they had no idea what was wrong, treated him horribly and left him traumatized from the visit. I hated the vets. and i hated myself for making my bird go through something like that. But i could tell my bird was sick, because he’d sleep most of the day, and rarely sing anymore. (mind you, this was finals week, and my last full semester of college. I was planning on moving, and i had work.) I had to do something, I didn’t want my bird to just die slowly. My mom called me, saying that i shouldn’t waste my money on vet visits because he was “old.” 

I found the best aviary vet in utah, and made an appointment. I drove an hour to see them on a school day, and was in tears explaining to them my situation. They didn’t even understand me when i told them that he threw up the night before because my voice was so shaky. Finally after some ACTUAL tests i found out that he had a liver problem. I paid around 500 dollars for the tests and medicine, and listened intently to the vet explain to me how to treat woodstock. I didn’t want to mess this up, and i certainly didn’t want my negligence be the reason my bird died. I took him home, and got my coworker to cover my shift at work so i could devote my time giving him medicine and just being with him. 

He slept on my shoulder. and I comforted him. I gave him the liver medicine, and liquid food. I left home around 8 AM, returned back at around 12 PM, then stayed in my heated room for 10 hours watching him. After the first 3 hours i could sense something was wrong, and his breathing deepened. he’d run to my neck and just sit there, not wanting to leave or stay on his cage. I had this horrible feeling that he wasn’t going to make it. After 6 hours he started to throw up blood.I frantically called the vet to ask about what to do, and they tried giving me advice. I sent my roommate to get me some supplies, where i’d try to help my birdy live. It wasn’t getting any better. at 8pm he started to sound like he was having trouble breathing and wouldn’t open his eyes. I sat on my bed holding him for 2 hours listening to “The National Parks.” crying my eyes out. Praying to God to save my bird, but at the same time, wishing him to take his pain away. At 10 PM My Woodstock writhed in pain, and thrashed around tripping on his feet, as if he was confused and scared. He finally gave up, and wrapped his wings around his body, tucking his feet in. I had watched my childhood friend die in my arms. My roommate had no idea. She was asleep. I cried out in tears, unable to calm myself. I finally contacted my coworker, and she came to comfort me. One of my friends called me immediately, but because of distance he wasn’t able to help. I burried him that night on top of a hill that over looked the town. It seemed to go by so fast. 

After my family hard about it, they consoled me, and told me they were sorry. My nieces and nephews were also sad. But... when asked how i was i just gave the whole, “I knew it would happen eventually. I was just glad i was able to be with him.” 

But honestly, I’m mad at myself. I’m mad that i didn’t take better care of him, and that i couldn’t offer more of a response than, “I’m fine.” I’m not fine. And to this day if i even think about my bird and what i saw happen to him, i burst into tears, and am unable to stop for 30 min. to an hour. It was traumatizing to me. and it’s something i haven’t told anyone. I did not want to see my bird die. And i did not want him to leave me. I had to move and finish school, and suffer all the typical trials people endure, but couldn’t express to anyone how i really was feeling. 

I’m tired. and i just want to be around the people i love. I’m sick of hiding what i’m feeling and keeping up a strong face. 

I’m not typing this out to inform people about what happened. But to inform myself about it. My bird is gone, and i have to move on. But it does not mean i have to completely forget him to achieve that. I’m grateful i was able to spend his last hours together. And i’m grateful to all my friends and family who have supported me through these past months. I’m grateful to have a Heavenly Father who comforted me through it all, and has continued to guide me to a better life, emotionally and spiritually. I’m sorry i haven’t been myself. and I’m sorry to show weakness. But i’m not strong, and we all need support through life. I don’t want to be apathetic and cold anymore. 

Since i’m moving, i’ll be leaving my bird’s grave in this town. I’ll say goodbye to him tomorrow before i leave. It’ll be hard, but it will be ok. Things can be difficult, but we are never destined to live this life in failure or despair. So i’ll find joy in the things I love, and hope to spread that joy to other people. Because that’s all i want to do. Thanks for reading if you did, and thanks for being around even if you didn’t. Since i love Big Hero Six, the same quote rings in my mind everyday. 

“I’m not giving up on you. You don’t know this yet, but people need you. So let’s get back to work.” 

I can do this. I can move forward and become something even greater than what i think is possible. I just have to remind myself ever so often to never give up. 

皆を心から愛しています���私の愛するの鳥も本当���、愛しています。その愛と幸せさを決して忘れません。

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWCXyELOX3Q

[effect-of-games]

Why Play Video Games? (Results from Twitter)

Original Post: “I am doing a project on the effect of video games & why people choose to play video games (in general or why they choose to play specific games). If you guys could weigh in or just simply share to reach more people so that I can get a better perspective that would be great! Ty”

Name: Diven “I play video games to forget my boring life aha, video games make me feel happy.. I feel so much emotions when im playing like idk I adore it ! Oh and also I really think video games help me with my mental health ;; when I was in depression it really helped me a lot” Name: Alexander / @Dakota_ACNH “For me, any single player game that you can play at your own pace with no time limits is what I prefer. I think this is mostly because of the huge amount of anxiety and stress that deadlines bring irl for me, and feeling a little more in control is nice...” “So a lot of open games like Minecraft, animal crossing and Stardew valley where you can pick for yourself are good examples here” Name: Cat / @cannedlotion22 “I play because constantly having to be in reality is difficult, especially with this quarantine happening. Good luck on your paper !” “Project* also to be specific, I play ACNH because it has goals to finish at my own pace so I’m not weighed down by the pressure to finish at the same speed as everyone else.” Name: breanna / @strange_esque “To escape the harsh reality of sadness that I live in” Name: Bella / @ACBellaIsland “I play RPGs mostly & picky about which ones I do play. I don’t like futuristic settings. I love Skyrim, The Witcher III, AC Odyssey, excited for AC Vikings. I’m an introvert/antisocial so I prefer games where I don’t have to interact with people too much.” Name: Tonya / @ACNHAcorn  “I actually started playing as a toddler. My parents were/are big gamers in both video games and things like D&D, so it has just always been a piece of my life!” Name: Katie / @KatieACNH1 “i play video games because if they’re virtual worlds or kinda 1st person games i think it’s fun to imagine living in a different world as a diff person. like since i was little i played virtual world games and always imagined what itd be like if it was real life” “that past description was ass lol but i think u get the point. i also just think theyre fun/engaging when theres nothing else to do” Name: Dakota / @StormAlongIsle “Ive always liked games but I really started playing a lot of rpgs and such when I got into highschool as a coping mechanism bc of mental health trouble...mostly rpgs bc I like that kind of escapism I guess? Hope that helps, and good luck with your project!” Name: Annabel / @ACNHAnnabel “I first played skyrim during the last year of high school because I got really lonely & depressed. For years openworld rps were my how i coped, but since university & making new friends it’s now more of a hobby & I play for fun with friends!” “I played loads when I was a kid (mario pokemon etc) but i grew up & moved on. It was only until I had a bad year that I went back to them as a teenager. Yes it was bc of depression BUT it was ultimatly a good thing bc i found something i love! You can use both my name and handle!” Name: @UmamiACNH “I talk about this a lot with my therapist! As I've aged, games have filled in pockets of what I actually needed in my life. Adventure? WoW. Building? Minecraft. Farming? Stardew Valley. Now that I actually do a good deal of woodworking & farming, those needs are met.” “If you tap into aspects of what you love in games, it creates a good blueprint for what you want IRL, hence why we now have a small farm. I'm highly anxious and need to be able to modify my environment & control food supply to feel secure- so my lifestyle works well for me” Name: Millie / @ACNH_Tahiti “I’ve played Animal Crossing and The Sims for as long as I can remember. It was games me and my 3 sisters would always play together. As I’ve grown up (especially during this time now) I have very low days and games are where I find comfort and can escape from reality for a while.” Name: @tsuncake “Back when I was severely clinically depressed, I played video games as a way to escape my reality and depression. It was an escape from how exhausted I felt, and I didn't have to do things that were tiresome or draining to me.” “Nowadays, I'm medicated and doing much better, so I now play video games either because my friends are playing them--so I use them as an opportunity to socialize. Or, like ACNH, I play them either due to nostalgia or the ability to create things via the game.” Name: Mary / @maryplaysacnh “Honestly they’re therapeutic to me!! That and a good time filler or for multiplayer games to connect with people!!” Name: Liv / @ACNH_MargIsland “i was never into video games growing up, but when i met my boyfriend he played (COD, FIFA, Assassins Creed, etc.) so i got into it as a way to connect with him. now we play together (& get very competitive) so it’s a way for us to connect/bond and be entertained“ Name: Kirie / @ThatsKiwie “I started playing video games bc my dad bought an N64 and my mom learned German while playing Pokémon silver. MMOs where a way for me to talk to other people bc I had no friends IRL and was bullied. So playing games was a way to distract myself from my loneliness, I think. Face with tears of joy” “As I got older it changed and now I play games bc it's fun be in another world and make my own story. Also I used it to take a break from IRL and relax.” Name: Amy / @AmyOfEroda “I really dislike combat games, I’m way too anxious for that! I much prefer games like Sims or Animal Crossing where you can just create and explore. It’s relaxing and satisfying to me!” “I mainly play animal crossing because im not mentally strong enough to just sit and deal with my thoughts and emotions, i like to always be busy doing something so animal crossing is perfect” Name: Barry / @ACNH_Cape_Sable “I've played pleeenty of video games, but during college I racked up about 2.7k hours in TF2. source engine games in general feel like home to me, I sometimes feel like I understand the physics in those games better than irl day to day physics.” “one of the things that sticks out to me about tf2, source engine games, and lots of other games is expressiveness. just using crouch and where your character is looking, you can express frustration, excitement, bellicosity. all kinds of stuff you wouldn't expect!” “I could ramble for a long time about immersion and audio in video games, too, but I don't wanna clog your feed. feel free to dm if you'd want to talk more, I truly love thinking about this shit.” Name: @SickCrxssing “they allow me to feel emotions disconnected from my irl reality, and also as someone OCD it allows me to focus my attention freely and without judgement or distraction when times get hard“ Name: Rei / @Amestris8 “I play just bc I canMan shrugging they’re available to me so I play them. No other reason! Do they help with boredom? Yes. When overwhelmed? Ofc. But the reason I play them isn’t some addiction, it’s just cause I can“

[gethealthy18-blog]

8 Life Lessons to Learn From Children

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/8-life-lessons-to-learn-from-children/

8 Life Lessons to Learn From Children

I remember when one of the kids broke her leg while playing outside. Thankfully, kids bounce back quickly and she was back on her feet in about four weeks. During that time we made lots of gelatin-rich foods and gave her some extra nutrients to help her recover quickly.

This was our first experience with a broken bone or injury in any of our children and I realized throughout this experience that children naturally do a lot of things correctly that adults often stop doing when we get older.

Lessons to Learn from Children

We are often so busy trying to teach our kids that we don’t realize how much we can learn from children.

In general, children are often healthier than adults and perhaps these natural healthy habits make some of the difference. Here are just a few of the things I’m going to try to remember to learn from my little ones:

1. Take Naps

Sleep is so important for health and many adults just don’t get enough. I’ve often joked that they should let pre-schoolers stay up and play and let high school students nap (this especially seemed like a good idea when I was in high school) but there could really be something to that idea.

The body repairs itself during sleep time and studies have shown that even one night of too little sleep can create a temporary pre-diabetic state, not to mention influence cortisol and leptin levels. Children are (typically) healthier and they also usually sleep for a longer period at night and take a nap during the day.

I’ve written about ways to help improve sleep quality and optimize sleep but none of these make up for getting too few hours of sleep in the first place.

What We Should Learn: Prioritize sleep and be as uncompromising about it as we are about our children getting enough sleep. Realize that this is an important part of staying young!

2. Move – Don’t Exercise

I noticed this especially when seeing how our little one had to be still (for once). Children don’t exercise but they are always moving! They don’t go to gyms or run endless miles but they sprint, climb, race, squat, and do many other functional movements constantly.

Another thing kids don’t do for long periods of time (unless we make them) is sit. We now have science that shows just how bad sitting is and these problems don’t go away just because a person makes time for exercise. Especially when our kids were toddlers, they had two speeds: full throttle and asleep. They played hard and rested hard. As adults, it is easy to be sedentary for a large part of the day, never get our heart rates up, and not move enough.

Children are also great at moving functionally. They don’t lift weights but can usually climb, crawl, squat, and move like an Olympian. Many adults can lift weights or master weight machines but would have trouble climbing a rope. This has been a personal goal for me: to learn how to move more functionally as these movements are great for health but are also the ones that can save your life if you ever have to climb, run, or jump to avoid some kind of danger or situation.

What We Should Learn: Get moving but don’t focus on exercise. Move functionally, move fast, and move often. As adults we may not be able to avoid our work and other responsibilities, but we can modify our workspace, take breaks, and challenge ourselves to engage in movement-based activities in between.

3. Learn to Express Emotions

Children are often excellent at showing emotion and very much in touch with how they feel. As adults we often learn to suppress or avoid emotions which can create stress. Certainly, children do have to learn to express emotion in a responsible way but we can learn a lot in the way they vividly feel and express their emotions.

Children don’t hold grudges. If they are hurt/angry/sad, they cry. If they are happy, they smile or laugh. They are also masters of social interaction until we teach them not to talk to strangers. Babies are especially good at social interaction and I think that this is one of the reasons that people often gravitate to babies and talk to them. They listen to others when they talk. They watch how other people move. They respond with a smile when someone smiles at them.

Even in times when a child’s ability to express emotion frustrates us as adults (temper tantrum anyone?), there is something to be learned. Children often have a very intense but short-lived expression of emotion and when they have dealt with that emotion, they move on. Adults are more likely to dwell on an emotion or spend time reflecting on it for an extended period of time.

What We Should Learn: Express emotion in a healthy way. Be fully engaged when speaking to others. Deal with emotions and move on.

4. Eat When Hungry

I often get emails from parents who are worried that their children are eating too much, not eating enough, or not eating the right foods. We are likely to obsess about what our children eat and how often, but most children have a very innate sense of hunger before we train it out of them.

They eat when hungry (even if it isn’t a meal time) and often refuse to eat if they aren’t hungry (even if it is a meal time). This is actually a very healthy thing and one that we as adults should pay attention to and take note.

I truly believe that if we provide children with high-nutrient sources of food and make sure they are well nourished, it is important to let them stay in tune with their natural hunger cues. Many adults have lost these natural cues and this can definitely make life more difficult! These food guidelines helped our family learn how to eat nourishing foods and stay in touch with their hunger cues.

What We Should Learn: Listen to our bodies and eat when we are hungry and don’t eat when we aren’t.

5. Always Keep Learning

Anyone who has ever had a four-year-old knows that children ask questions. I once read that the average four-year-old asks more than 400 questions a day… and my experience backs this up!

This is a natural way that children learn, but it is also a beautiful representation of their constant curiosity and desire to learn. As adults, it is easy to just accept things at face value or to know that something works without understanding how. The act of learning a new skill (especially a new language or musical instrument) sharpens the mind and keeps it young.

What We Should Learn: Ask questions. Be inquisitive. Pick up a new skill or hobby or area of research and learn it with the openness and mind of a child.

6. Be Fearless

Any mom who has ever had a one-year-old knows how fearless children can be. They jump to see what happens. Throw things to learn about Newton’s laws (and social interaction if they hit someone). They are on an insatiable quest to see, to learn, to move.

Newborns only have two fears: loud noises and falling. We tend to program all the other fears into our children with constant admonitions to “be careful” and “don’t get hurt,” when in actuality we should encourage them to take calculated risks, especially when they are young and the risks involve jumping off a playground ladder and not high-speed vehicles.

This article has some fascinating points about the importance of risks, danger, and adventure for children in their play and how not having these elements can have social and cognitive effects later on.

What We Should Learn:  Let our children be adventurous but also rekindle this trait in ourselves. Take on a new adventure or sport. Try new things. Let kids play outside (yes, even unsupervised).

7. Enjoy the Small Things

You get a child a fancy new toy for Christmas and what are they playing with an hour later? The box.

Children have a natural fascination with the small things. They aren’t born wanting a fancier diaper or a more decked out stroller. They have a natural creativity to play with simple things and make them interesting with their imaginations.

How much happier could adults be if we could remember even a small amount of fascination for the mundane?

What We Should Learn: Don’t sweat the small stuff, but enjoy the small stuff. Learn to truly appreciate the little things and what we have and not always be focused on the next thing.

8. Remember to Play

Play is the work of children and it is important for a child’s development. It turns out that play is important for adults too! I love this quote from this article:

“The only kind (of play) we honor is competitive play,” according to Bowen F. White, MD, a medical doctor and author of Why Normal Isn’t Healthy.

But play is just as pivotal for adults as it is for kids.

“We don’t lose the need for novelty and pleasure as we grow up,” according to Scott G. Eberle, Ph.D, vice president for play studies at The Strong and editor of the American Journal of Play.

Play brings joy. And it’s vital for problem solving, creativity and relationships.

Trust me, I know it’s not easy to step away from all the things that “have to get done,” but in the name of better health and a strong family life I’m learning to put down the phone, close the computer, and take time to recharge.

What We Should Learn: Find things that are fun and enjoyable for their own sake and do them! Moms’ night out, here I come!

Have you ever noticed these things? What do you think we can learn from children or have you learned already? Share below!

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/479/lessons-from-children/