#also every time i got them tightened my mom would take me to get a strawberry fudge cheesecake blizzard from DQ down the street

[willowfey]

i had weird dreams about traveling through dimensions on halloween to old familiar streets of my hometown but having everything be different because i was slightly off in my calculations so the colours were distorted and the houses were rearranged but the smell was still the same. then i woke up with visceral memories clouding my head of going to get my braces tightened each month and getting the colour changed according to the season/holiday.

[readwritealldayallnight]

“-and every year after that, we always had double chocolate chip cookies instead of regular chocolate chip. Made me stand out at the school bakes sales, too! And I would beg and beg and beg my mom to make them before any other sweets-”

“Got my stomach grumblin’ over here now, love.” Simon cuts off your rambling with a loving chuckle. The first winter’s snow began falling from the sky in London that morning, and you’d been eager to tell your lover about the traditions you’d had growing up around this time of year.

“Well imagine how I felt, Si!” You say with a giggle, patting his stomach in emphasis. “I swear, it’s become a true Pavlovian response, I see the first snowflakes and I instantly start craving those cookies again. Like when I was little…”

Simon sees the melancholic smile playing across your lips, and he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that first chance he gets, he’ll be ringing your mum to get said recipe from her.

And if you walk into your shared flat a few days later, the smell of burnt something wafting through the air, fire alarm beeping incessantly, coming upon a flustered looking 6’4” behemoth of a man swatting a flowery dish towel through the air in attempt to dissipate the smoke coming from the oven, well, the sentiment behind your lover wanting to surprise you with your favourite treat from childhood is a thousand times sweeter than the cookie itself.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Ooh, look at those ones over there!” You exclaim, tightening your grip on Simon’s arm. You’re both strolling through a local farmers market on a dreary Sunday afternoon with nothing better to do. Your free hand points towards a stall selling beautifully intricate bouquets of flowers. “They’re so pretty for this late in the season.”

Simon is glancing over at the stall, minutely nodding in agreement, before his gaze shifts back to the crowd.

“Want one?”

“Oh, no, that’s okay. Just thought they looked nice. We don’t need any.” You say, leading him past the stall, not noticing when he glances back over his shoulder to remember the name written at the top of the display.

Once back home, upon hearing your gasp of surprise followed by what he recognizes now as your excited squeal, he smirks to himself in the other room, knowing you’ve stumbled upon the bouquet he had delivered during your nap.

What you don’t know is that he’s already set it up so that you’ll be receiving a new fresh set of flowers every week now, delivered straight to your front steps.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Really wasn’t that bad this time around, promise.” You mumble into his firm chest, his muscular arms holding you there as you snuggle on the couch. He got back from a two week deployment last night, and you’re still catching him up on everything he missed. “I made a point of going outside everyday, for a change of scenery at least.”

“Tha’s good, lovie.” He whispers, running his digits through the strands of your hair, careful not to tug any time he runs into knot, instead gently trying to comb it out himself.

“Not like I was all alone, anyhow.” You say with a small giggle, biting your lip. He finds himself answering with his own lighthearted chuckle, sitting up straighter to glance at the table over your shoulder. “Gave me something to look forward to each day, feeding the lil’ guy.”

“Was hoping it’d be a nice surprise for ya. Not another chore…”

“Oh, Goldie’s not a chore.” You laugh, swatting at Simon’s chest. You also take the time to glance over at the goldfish in question, swimming in the small circular fish bowl that Simon had somehow snuck into the flat the day before he left. He hated the idea of leaving you alone all the time, never knowing when he’d have a chance to speak on the phone, and he didn’t want to burden you with a larger, more high maintenance animal like a dog or cat. And so, Goldie was brought home.

“Although, I’m worried maybe he’s getting lonely when I’m out of the house. Might have to get him a friend.”

Simon doesn’t even try to hide the corny grin that spreads across his face.

“Have I ever told you the joke about the two goldfish in a tank?”

[fleming-o]

new beginnings barca fem x teen reader

(i say barca but its kinda mostly alexia)

new home is always hard to get used to

HOMESICK AT ITS FINEST

also I can't write for my life so if this went in many directions than just one I'm sorry (heh one direction)

Moving houses was one thing, but moving across the world? That was something else entirely.

All my belongings were packed away, my house back home was empty, and every familiar wall and cozy corner was now just a memory. The thought of leaving my old life behind felt thrilling at first, but now? Now it just felt like a hollow ache.

Barcelona was beautiful, yes, but it didn’t feel like home. The narrow streets, the fast-paced Catalan, the city’s loud vibrancy—it was all so different. I’d dreamt of this chance with Barça for as long as I could remember, but I hadn’t expected the anxiety that seemed to follow me everywhere. I missed my family, my friends, even my favorite coffee spot. Here, I was just… drifting.

It had been two weeks since I arrived, but every time I walked into the training facility, that nervous twist in my stomach returned. Today, though, felt worse. I’d woken up feeling off—grumpy, tired, missing everything familiar. The physical exhaustion from the intense training was starting to catch up, and my heart felt heavy with homesickness.

“Bon dia!” Mapi’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts as I walked in. She grinned, giving me a cheerful wave.

“Hola, Mapi,” I mumbled, trying to return her energy, but I could feel my own voice sounding flat, tired.

She raised an eyebrow, looking a bit curious. “Hey, how’s the whole moving thing going?”

I shrugged, trying to keep it casual. “It’s… okay, I guess,” I said, grabbing my training gear. I didn’t want to admit just how lonely I felt.

Mapi opened her mouth to say something else, but then Ingrid walked up, giving Mapi a pointed look. “Maria, for the last time—stop taking my clothes,” she sighed, tugging on the collar of the hoodie Mapi was wearing.

Usually, their back-and-forth would make me laugh, but today, I just couldn’t muster the energy. I forced a small smile and stood, boots in hand. “I’ll be on the pitch,” I mumbled, heading outside before they could ask any more questions.

Out on the field, the other girls were already warming up together, chatting and laughing. I watched them for a moment, feeling a pang of isolation. It wasn’t that they were unfriendly—far from it. But they all seemed to have this easy camaraderie, this natural rhythm, that I couldn’t quite find my way into. I grabbed a ball and went to a quieter spot on the field, juggling and practicing on my own.

As I focused on the ball, the weight of everything I’d left behind came crashing down on me. I missed my mom’s hugs, my dad’s terrible jokes, the random texts from my friends.

Even just hearing English everywhere felt like something I’d taken for granted. Here, every day felt like I was fumbling, trying to catch up.

I didn’t even notice someone approaching until a shadow fell over me. I looked up to see Alexia standing there, her expression soft and curious.

“Mind if I join?” she asked, nodding toward the ball at my feet.

I shrugged, trying to shake off the sadness in my eyes. “Sure.”

We passed the ball back and forth in silence for a bit. Alexia didn’t press, just letting me be. After a while, she spoke up, keeping her voice gentle. “The team’s getting together tonight. At my place. You should come.”

I hesitated, not wanting to seem rude but also not feeling in the mood for a crowd. “I don’t know… I might just head home after training.”

She tilted her head, studying me. “I know it’s not easy, coming here and adjusting to everything. But you don’t have to do it alone, okay? You’ve got us.”

Her words hit something deep, making my chest tighten. It was as if she understood exactly what I was feeling without me having to say it. I managed a small nod, not trusting my voice to stay steady.

“Alright,” she said, a gentle smile breaking through. “No pressure. Just think about it, okay?”

After training, I found myself reluctantly heading to Alexia’s place. The team was already there, scattered around her cozy living room, laughing and sharing stories. I joined a small group with the younger players, including Jana and Claudia. They were swapping stories and cracking jokes, but the exhaustion and emotions from the day were catching up to me. Before long, I could feel my eyelids growing heavy.

As the evening wore on, the laughter echoed in my ears, but it felt distant, as if I was watching from a haze. I felt out of place, despite being surrounded by friends. I watched as Alexia flitted between groups, her laughter bright and infectious, and I found myself drawn to her, like a moth to a flame.

The laughter felt more distant, and the noise began to swirl around me, making it harder to breathe.

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything—the unfamiliar faces, the bustling energy of the room, the tension in my chest—growing heavier. I needed to escape, if only for a moment. Excusing myself from the group, I slipped out of the living room and wandered down the hallway, searching for a quieter space.

I finally spotted a small, dimly lit room at the end of the hall. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me, and leaned against it, feeling the cool wood against my back. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions inside me.

“Hey, are you alright?”

I opened my eyes to find Alexia standing there, concern etched across her face. Her presence instantly made me feel a bit safer, but the nervousness still clawed at my insides.

“I… I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just so much. I thought I could handle it, but…”

Alexia stepped closer, her eyes softening as she listened. “Moving here can be overwhelming. It’s a big change, and it’s okay to feel off balance. You’re not alone in this.”

I felt a lump in my throat, her words wrapping around me like a warm blanket. I nodded slowly, the truth of her statement sinking in. It was comforting to know I didn’t have to navigate this by myself.

“I just miss home,” I confessed, feeling vulnerable. “I thought I’d be excited, but instead, it feels like I’m lost.”

Alexia moved to sit beside me on the floor, our backs against the door. “I get it. I moved away from my family, too. At first, it felt like everything I loved was far away. But it gets easier with time, especially when you have people around you who care.”

Her reassurance helped, though I still felt that tightness in my chest. “Sometimes, it feels like everyone else is so close and I’m just… out of place,” I admitted, glancing at her.

“Trust me, everyone feels that way at some point,” she said with a gentle smile. “Even the ones who look like they have it all together. It’s a process, and we’ll figure it out together. And you know what? You belong here. You’re part of this team now, and that means something.”

As her words wrapped around me, I took a deep breath, feeling a little of the weight lift. Being near her felt grounding. I could feel the tension slowly easing, replaced by a sense of safety I hadn’t expected to find.

“Thanks, Alexia,” I said, a shy smile breaking through my uncertainty. “It means a lot.”

“Anytime,” she replied, her eyes twinkling. “And hey, if you need a break from the craziness, you can always come find me, okay?”

We sat in comfortable silence for a moment, letting the chaos of the party fade away outside. I felt a sense of peace wash over me, grateful for this unexpected connection.

“Alright, let’s go back,” Alexia finally said, standing up and offering me her hand. “I promise, it’ll be fun. And if it gets too loud, we can always come back here.”

I took her hand, standing up beside her, feeling a flicker of hope ignite within me. Maybe I could find my place here after all.

“Okay,” I said, my heart feeling a little lighter. “Lead the way.”

As we stepped back into the living room, the laughter and chatter enveloped us again, but this time, I felt a little more ready to face it all—with Alexia by my side.

[pickingupmymercedes]

It's not just a win - Lewis Hamilton NSFW

The 104th win Special - He's bloody done it ❤️

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: unprotected sexual activities.

Also, wrap it before you tap it guys

wordcount: +2K

a/n: Don't have anything to say really. I don't even think this gets close to putting to paper what it meant. To him. To us. But I also think it's going to take time for us to really understand how much this win meant.

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT

______________________________________________________________

Y/n stirred gently in the early morning light, the soft glow of dawn filtering through the slits on the window of the motorhome. She blinked sleepily, her eyes slowly adjusting to the soft, golden hues that bathed the room.

The warmth from the arms around her brought a lazy smile to her lips, and as she turned, she saw Lewis lying awake, staring at the ceiling with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Good morning, GP winner" she murmured, her voice still husky with sleep.

Lewis turned his head towards her, a content smile capturing his features as he returned from whatever world had been occupying his mind. "Good morning, love" he replied softly.

Y/n scooted closer, her arm draping over his chest, her head resting on his shoulder as he embraced her tight. She could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat pick up as she looked back up at him " Wanna debrief?" her voice gentle and inviting.

Lewis sighed, his eyes gazing into hers, searching for the right words. "Just...thinking about everything," he admitted. "Yesterday was...a lot."

Y/n nodded, encouraging him to continue. She knew that he needed this, a chance to make sense of his emotions out loud.

"There were moments in the past few years when I doubted myself," he began, a low rumble in his chest. "That maybe I couldn’t do it anymore. That I should have retired. It felt like I would never win again. But then...yesterday."

"I thought I had healed from 2021" Lewis admitted for the first time to her, his voice low and hesitant. "I know I always told everyone I was through. And maybe I had tried to convince myself I had. But standing on that podium yesterday… I still have so much to give."

He paused, taking a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts. "I’m not one to accept love easily… you know that” he almost whispered shaking his head a bit as you lowly chuckled “But these past years… the energy and support people have given me. I couldn’t… I can’t let that go unnoticed.”

Y/n traced small circles on his chest, her touch soothing and grounding. "What makes you think that?" she asked softly.

"I kept catching myself thinking about Abu Dhabi," his voice barely above a whisper. "About how close… how everything just...slipped away. It felt like...like I had failed. Like I had let everyone down." He sighed, a deep, shuddering breath. "I just...I needed this. I needed to win. To prove to myself that I still can."

Y/n tightened her embrace, her heart aching for him. "You deserve every bit of love you receive, Lew." Her hand going to trace the lines of his cheeks where his beard started. “And I’m sure people don’t expect anything more than the best you can do. And I know you always try and give your best.

Lewis nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I know. I know. But I could always fight on track those who doubted... and then when I couldn’t…" he shook his head looking away. “Finally winning again. At home, with everyone there, my mom, my dad, my family. You. It was...overwhelming. I sobbed when I got out of the car. I couldn't help it. It was like everything I’d been holding in just poured out because I knew I had proven myself. That I had shown everyone what you all believed in... even when I doubted it"

Y/n sat up a bit to reach for his face in her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze. "There will always be challenges, always be obstacles. But you’ve proven time and time again that you can overcome them. You have an incredible strength, Lewis. And you don’t have to face them all alone. I’m here. Your family is here. Your team is here. And we’re always going to believe in you." she said honestly.

Lewis smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that reached his eyes "It felt like...like a new beginning. Like maybe, just maybe, I’m finally starting to heal." he said softly.

"It's not just a win, is it?"

He looked at her, his eyes glistening with tears. "No" he sighed; his voice thick with emotion. "It's...closure? Proof that I'm not finished. Not just yet."

Y/n agreed. "You can finally let go of the past now … or at least put it in its place."

He nodded, a sense of peace settling over him. "Thank you. For everything. For being here, for believing in me."

"Always," she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I’ll always be here." she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his neck.

Lewis angled his head slightly, meeting her lips with his own. The kiss was tender at first, a sweet affirmation to her, but it quickly deepened. His hand found its way to her hair, tangling in the soft strands as he pulled her closer.

Y/n responded eagerly, her hands roaming over his chest and shoulders, feeling the heat of his skin through the fabric of his shirt. She pressed her body to his side, savoring the feel of his warmth and his muscles.

The kisses grew frantic and soon they were wrapped up in each other, lost in the moment.

Y/n felt Lewis's hand slip under the hem of her shirt, his fingers tracing patterns on her skin. She arched against him.

When she felt his hand move lower, sliding towards the waistband of her underwear, she pulled back slightly, breathless. "Do we have time?" she asked, her voice a husky whisper. "You’re supposed to head to the factory this morning."

Lewis looked at her through hooded dark eyes "They can wait" his voice rough with desire. "I feel like celebrating a bit more." Y/n smiled, a slow, sensual curve of her lips, and leaned in to capture his mouth in another searing kiss.

But just as their lips met again, a sudden bark from the foot of the bed pulled them back to reality. They both glanced down to see Roscoe looking rather annoyed and impatient. His expressive eyes, almost accusing, seemed to say "Are you two quite finished?"

Lewis chuckled, the sound vibrating through Y/n’s chest. "Looks like someone needs to go to the bathroom" he said with a grin, his fingers gently brushing Y/n’s cheek.

Y/n laughed softly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before sitting up. "Duty calls, go one dad, we’ll resume after" her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Lewis gave her a playful nudge before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Alright, buddy, let’s get you sorted" he said, his tone affectionate as he leaned down to give the bulldog a scratch behind the ears.

When he returned the sounds of running water drew his attention, and he made his way to the bathroom, a soft smile on his lips.

He found Y/n in the shower, the steam curling around her, obscuring his view. And as the mist cleared, he could see her silhouette through the glass door, the water cascading over her body. She glanced back through the glass, catching him watching her.

"Enjoying the view?" she asked teasingly, her voice thick with amusement.

Lewis chuckled, leaning against the doorframe. "Very much," he replied, his voice low and warm. Y/n turned to slide open the box door, her expression softening. "Care to join me?"

He didn’t need to be asked twice. Quickly shedding his clothes, he stepped into the shower, the hot water immediately welcoming him.

They stood there for a moment, letting the water pour over them, washing away the remnants of the previous day.

He was the first to reach out, his fingers gently trailing along Y/n’s arm, marveling at her. She almost felt exposed at his gaze, but the way his eyes held her captivated had her forget everything but him.

She stepped closer until their bodies were pressed together and he dipped his head, capturing her lips in a tender kiss, their movements slow and deliberate. A rhythm that was achingly familiar although their hands explored each other’s bodies like they had to reach every bit of skin they were yet to memorize.

Y/n’s fingers traced the lines of his muscles, her touch light and loving. Lewis mirrored her actions, his hands caressing her curves, his touch both soothing and electrifying.

The water continued to cascade over them, a warm, comforting presence that seemed to heighten every sensation. Y/n tilted her head back, her eyes fluttering shut as Lewis kissed a path down her neck, his lips leaving a trail of electricity.

"I love you " she breathed, her hands tangling in his loose braids as she pulled him closer.

"I love you" he whispered back against her skin; his voice filled with emotion.

They lost themselves in each other, the world outside the shower fading into insignificance. The water poured over them, mingling with the soft sighs and whispers that filled the small space.

When Lewis’s hands found Y/n’s waist, he pulled her flush against him as he kissed her deeply. She responded, her body arching into his, seeking more of his touch. They savored the moment, the feeling of being so close, so connected.

Y/n's hand slid down his chest, her fingertips tracing the hard planes of his muscles. Her touch was electric to his skin.

She reached his half-hard erection, her fingers wrapping around him with a gentle but firm grip. She began to pump him slowly, her movements teasing and deliberate. Lewis groaned softly into her mouth, both of his hand finding her waist. Her pumping combined with the hot water cascading over their bodies was almost overwhelming. He responded by pressing her against the cool tile wall, his lips never leaving hers.

With one hand still wrapped around his length, Y/n used her free hand to anchor herself against his shoulder. Lewis lifted one of her legs, creating better access to her core. He positioned himself at her entrance, his eyes locking onto hers.

"You ready?" he whispered, his voice a low rumble.

Y/n nodded; her pupils wildly dilated. "Yeah" she breathed.

Lewis kissed her deeply, his tongue tangling with hers to muffle her moans as he slowly entered her. The sensation was almost too much, her walls stretching to accommodate him. He paused, holding himself still to regain control, feeling her warmth envelop him.

She gasped into his mouth, her breath hitching as he filled her completely. He waited a moment, allowing her to adjust, before he began to move. Each thrust was slow and measured, his lips still pressed against hers to keep their sounds low to possible bypassers around the motorhomes.

Y/n's nails dug into his shoulders as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her body arching to meet his movements. She bit down gently on the soft spot where his neck met his collarbone, making him wince in pain and pleasure.

The rhythm between them became more urgent, their need for each other driving them on. Lewis groaned softly, his grip on her tightening as he lifted her other leg, supporting her entirely against the wall.

The change in angle allowed him to penetrate even deeper, eliciting a moan from Y/n that he quickly swallowed with another kiss.

As he felt her walls start to flutter, he pulled out to turn her in his embrace, her back pressing against his chest as she moaned in protest. He entered her from behind, the new position allowing him to reach even deeper.

One of his hands slid around to hold her close by her lower abdomen, pressing into the spot where he could feel himself pushing into her.

Y/n's head fell back against his shoulder, her moans growing louder despite their attempts to stay quiet. Lewis kissed along her neck, his other hand moving down to flicker at her clit with precise, deliberate movements.

"I'm so close" she whimpered, her body trembling.

Lewis's own control was slipping, the sensation of her tight around him driving him closer to his own orgasm "Let go" he whispered against her ear. "I've got you."

With a final thrust, he felt her walls clench around him as she saw white. Her body convulsed; her cries muffled by how she bit on the skin of his neck, her head hanging on his shoulders. The mix of her walls and the biting of his skin triggered his own release, a wave that left him shaking.

They held each other close when he pulled out and turned her on his arms, his forehead resting against hers. "Hi there gorgeous" he murmured when she opened her eyes to look at him, his breath still coming in ragged gasps.

Y/n smiled; her eyes glimmering with satisfaction. "You’re handsome too" she joked, chuckling softly.

They stayed like that for a few moments longer, savoring the intimacy of the moment and the water falling on them. Finally, Y/n reached out and turned off the shower, the sudden silence almost deafening after the steady sound of running water.

Lewis grabbed a towel, wrapping it around Y/n before pulling her into his arms. "I think that’s the best way to start the day," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her damp hair.

Y/n leaned into him, her heart swelling with love. "Couldn’t agree more. Now go, they’re waiting for their champion."

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28

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[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 84

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 5K

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Friday, July 1st; 8:30 AM – Ona and Lucy's apartment.

I hum while cooking my pancakes in the pan. It's early, but I couldn't sleep anymore. Instead of waking Lucy, who was peacefully sleeping, I decided to make myself useful. So, here I am, in front of the stove. After several mornings of Lucy teaching me how to make pancakes, I finally decided to try it on my own. It was the perfect time while everyone else was still asleep. At least I knew no one would disturb me or offer their help, thinking I wouldn’t succeed. For once, I wanted to do it all by myself. This solitary moment is deeply relaxing for me. I feel good, with only the sounds of cooking and the TV in the background. The music coming from it puts me in a good mood. I sing along, swaying my body to the rhythm. When my pancake is ready, I remove it and start on the next one. That's when two arms gently wrap around me.

"What a lovely sight this early in the morning," I hear Lucy whisper in my ear.

I smile and stop moving my hips to feel her press against my back.

"Good morning," I murmur.

"So, how dare you leave me alone in bed?"

She takes advantage of my hair being tied up in a messy bun to plant a kiss on my exposed neck. A shiver runs through me, but it's a delightful way to start the day.

"And you have the nerve to complain? You don't think twice about leaving me alone when you go for your runs."

She laughs, tightening her grip around me. My stomach flutters in response. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this kind of morning.

"You're right. Forgive me for putting you through that."

"I’m adapting. You’ve got to make some sacrifices if I want to enjoy my girlfriend’s athletic body."

Lucy laughs again and kisses my cheek. Then she steps aside to lean against the counter with her arms crossed.

"True."

"So, where’s my kiss?"

She smiles and leans in to meet my lips. I close my eyes to savor our first kiss of the day. These tender moments between us mean a lot. They're spontaneous, which makes our relationship even more special. I sincerely hope they will continue and help our love last.

"Are you satisfied now, princess?"

"More than ever."

"You make me so happy. But why didn’t you wake me?"

"You were sleeping so deeply. I didn’t want to disturb you, especially since you so rarely sleep in. Besides, I wanted to use the time to make breakfast by myself."

"I see. It smells delicious."

"Thanks."

I blush softly. She runs her hand along the back of my neck as she straightens up, glancing at my plate full of pancakes, ready to be eaten.

"I suppose I can’t have a taste yet?"

"No," I giggle. "We’re all waiting for my mom and Joan to wake up."

She pouts, but I stand firm.

"Alright, but you should at least cover them," she says as I add another pancake to the pile. "They’ll get cold by then."

"Can you do it for me, please?"

"Hmm."

Her hand slides down my back before her touch fades away. She covers the plate and starts setting the table. She knows I’m not in my usual state. In an hour and a half, I’ll finally find out the result of my exam. I’m grateful that she’s not pressing me about it. I finish the last pancakes, and just in time for my mom and Joan to make their appearance. Lucy has also finished her tasks. She’s prepared freshly squeezed orange juice and is getting the hot drinks ready.

"Good morning, girls."

"Hey. Did you sleep well?" I ask them.

"As well as ever. I could get used to this place, especially if we’re treated this nicely every day."

"Uh… I like you, but no thanks."

"Ona!" Lucy scolds me.

My mom chuckles. Even though things have mostly been patched up, if I leave home, it won’t be so she can stay here.

"No, Lucy, she's right. The two of us under one roof, it’d be fireworks."

"Maybe, but that’s no excuse."

"It’s fine, I’m just joking."

I stick my tongue out as I place the plate on the table, where everyone is already seated.

"Well, this is quite a feast."

"Ona made it," Lucy points out.

"Really?"

I nod, visibly embarrassed. Lucy, sitting next to me, places her hand on my thigh as I take my seat.

"You're barely showing any signs of stress," she teases me.

"I knew something was off—I hadn't heard a single jab from you yet."

"Oh, don’t take it like that, honey."

My mom chuckles as she serves us, while Joan makes it clear he's hungry. They’ve been here for almost a week, and it seems like they've settled in. Their return to Barcelona later this afternoon is going to feel strange to them. One thing's for sure, I’m glad my mom finally got to see my life here. I'm not the rebellious kid I was when I left Barcelona. She can see I’m building my life successfully. She loves our apartment and, of course, has fully embraced Lucy into our family since our commitment to each other. She’s kept the promise she made at her wedding, and I don’t think that will change anytime soon. At least, I hope not. Lucy has helped me understand the importance of family, and even though I no longer have my father, I still have my mom.

"I can finally have a taste!" my girlfriend rejoices when her plate is served.

I’m nervous about her reaction. In fact, I haven’t even told her that I didn’t taste them myself. They look good, but we all know appearances can be deceiving. Lucy, however, seems completely unbothered. She’s totally calm as she takes the first bite. The tension rises in me as she chews slowly. Everyone waits for her reaction, which doesn’t take long. A hum escapes her soft lips.

"Hmm... not bad at all, my love."

"Really?" I ask, surprised. "You’re not just saying that to be nice?"

She laughs, shaking her head. I relax as she takes another bite. I’m happy to know it's at least edible.

"No, really, it's good. You didn’t even try it beforehand?"

"No," I admit, embarrassed. "I was scared of the result."

"Well, go ahead, taste it."

She cuts a piece and holds the fork out to me. I accept it without hesitation. My mom and sister have also started eating. I take my time to savor all the flavors of the dish, and I have to admit it turned out pretty well. For a first try, I did really well. They’re not as good as Lucy's yet, but I managed to make something. Just a few days ago, I was redoing the batter three times over, so I guess I’ve improved.

"It’s not bad at all, actually."

"I never imagined I'd eat one of your dishes one day," my mom confirms.

"Well, thanks!" I giggle.

"Oh no, it's a compliment. I never took the time to learn how to cook. That’s why I have Samuel at home."

I laugh, nodding. Indeed, I remember her as a walking disaster in the kitchen. Since she worked a lot, it was rare for her to cook for me, and yet, I vividly remember her burnt meals when she did. I was always relieved when my dad or grandmother stepped in to save the day. And if neither of them was around, I knew Nick's mom, our neighbor, would gladly serve me food discreetly after my mom’s meal. I focus on Joan, who also seems to be enjoying the food. He confirms this by asking for seconds twice before being refused a third helping.

"What time do we need to be at school?"

"The results are posted at ten," Lucy responds. "So, a bit earlier would be good."

"What about Mapi and Ingrid? Are they meeting us here?"

"Yes, that’s the plan," I confirm. "Have you heard from them?" I ask Lucy.

"They just left their place. They should be here soon."

"Okay," I reply with a shared smile.

Mapi came back with us a week ago. It feels really strange having her so close now, but I’m not complaining. For now, she seems to be enjoying her life here. We’re all on vacation, so we see each other regularly. Ingrid and she are helping out at the gym, where we’ll all start working next week. Jenni finished her contract at her previous job and will be wrapping up the major renovations. This summer is going to be intense as we try to finish everything before the start of September. There are six of us helping now, including the rest of our friends. I have no doubt we’ll get it done.

"Go get ready. We’ll take care of cleaning up."

"Are you sure?" Lucy asks.

After several months, she’s finally comfortable enough to use informal speech with my mom, although you can still tell she’s not entirely at ease with it.

"Of course. Your friends are arriving soon, and we’re already ready. We don’t want to be late."

"Alright."

I wasn’t going to argue since she was offering her help. Lucy shoots me a look, but I just take her hand, ignoring it.

"See you later."

I lead her with me to our room, which is still a bit of a mess. My mom had brought over a few more things I had packed up at their place before I left. Since we’ve been out with them all week, I haven’t had time to sort it all out.

"We could’ve helped first."

"Stop complaining. We’ve been serving them all week. They can clean the kitchen for once."

She rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything else. I start changing into the clothes I’d laid out the night before. Lucy smiles when she sees my school jacket.

"Already missing it?"

"Hey, I’ve always said I liked it," I defend myself.

"That’s true. It does suit you."

She winks, and I laugh. Once we’re both changed and have made the bed, we head to the bathroom to do our makeup. When we return to the living room, Mapi and Ingrid have arrived. We heard the doorbell ring earlier, but didn’t pay much attention since my mom and Joan were already in the living room.

"Good morning!" I greet them as we walk in.

"Ah, there you are. You look less stressed than what we were just told," Mapi teases.

"That’s because she cooked for the first time on her own this morning," Lucy announces from behind me.

"Hey!"

"Yeah, she’s not quite herself today," my best friend jokes.

I’m about to respond, but Lucy gets there first, turning me around and kissing me.

"We’re just teasing, love. It’s okay."

"Hmm..."

"Anyway, it’s time to go."

"Yeah..."

"Let’s head down," Ingrid says.

Lucy nods. They head out since they’re already ready. I sit on the couch to put on my shoes. Lucy, having slipped on hers quickly, crouches down in front of me.

"Everything’s going to be fine, okay?"

"What are we going to do if I didn’t pass?"

I feel a knot in my stomach just thinking about it. Lucy smiles, lifting my hand to her lips to kiss it.

"Well, you’ll repeat the year, and we’ll push back your art school plans to the following year. Grace said she’d wait for you, though she’d be a bit disappointed."

I nod, looking down. She strokes my cheek.

"Come on, babe. We don’t know anything yet. What matters most is that you gave it your best."

I smile softly and nod again. I then lift my head to meet her loving gaze.

"I was just wondering how you wanted to handle things once we’re there. Do you still want to introduce me to your friends tonight?"

I take a deep breath and shrug. I’m not sure, really. Lucy has officially left her job as an instructor, so I know we could go together. I had thought it would be more intimate to do it with just a small group. The other students don’t need to know about our relationship.

"I guess," I mumble.

She chuckles and stands up, kissing my forehead.

"I’ll probably meet up with my colleagues who will likely be there. I suggest we go separately at first, and we’ll figure it out if needed?"

This idea lightens my heavy heart. To be honest, I was mostly worried about keeping it together if I passed my exam.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Alright. Then I’ll ride with Ingrid. You can take my car if you want."

"You’re letting me drive?" I ask, surprised.

"Well, yeah. You’ve been driving it these past few days."

My smile widens as I take her keys. It’s true she’s given me the opportunity to drive her car. Lucy wants me to get used to driving again before we buy a car for me next year. It’s been great practice. Plus, it’s little gestures like this that boost my confidence. I’m starting to become independent, and it feels good.

"Thank you."

We kiss one last time before leaving the apartment. We stick to our plan and each drive separately. In front of us, Ingrid leads the way, though I know the route well by now, having done it many times with Lucy. She only lives a few blocks away. As we get closer, it’s clear today is a special day. There are so many cars parked outside. The street has never been this full. I take my time parking the car, just like Lucy taught me, in the first available spot. Then we step out. From a distance, I can see Lucy and Ingrid walking toward the entrance of the building.

"They’re not waiting for us?" Mapi asks.

"No. They’re going to see their colleagues first, and we’ll catch up with them later."

"I see."

She gives me a look that clearly shows she’s teasing me.

"What?"

"You know you won’t be able to hold it together, right?"

"Shut up."

She laughs heartily, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Come on, I’ll escort you then."

I smile and nod. That works for me. With my free hand, I grab Joan’s, and we head toward the entrance. Unlike the first time I came here, the gate is wide open, although there are people there to greet us. In fact, it’s Wiegman herself, along with several professors I didn’t have.

"Abby! What a surprise to see you here!" she says as we approach.

"Well, I couldn’t miss my daughter’s results, could I?"

They exchange a friendly hug before she shakes all of our hands.

"Is this your youngest?" she asks, noticing Joan.

My brother immediately hides behind me, making me smile.

"Yes, this is Joan."

"He’s grown so much!"

"Oh, yes."

"Let’s hope we don’t see him here."

"We’ll make sure of that."

"And how’s Marcus doing?"

Not wanting to get caught in a long conversation, I quickly say:

"We’re going to head off without you, if you don’t mind. My friends are probably waiting for me."

"Oh, sure, no problem," my mom replies. "We’ll meet up later. Are you taking Joan with you?"

I glance at my brother, who nods eagerly. I chuckle and nod as well.

"Yeah, I’ll take him. He can stay with Mapi."

After agreeing, we continue. The anxiety rises as we walk down the path.

"Come on, relax."

"I’d like to see you in my shoes. If I don’t pass this exam, I don’t know what I’ll do."

"Lucy said it’s not the end of the world."

"No, it’s not, but it would push back a lot of plans between us."

"I’m sure you’ll pass."

That’s not even the question. I *have* to pass. It’s crucial. As we reach the end of the path, we finally arrive at the central building. It’s packed. We can’t even see the entrance. Luckily, it’s a beautiful day. There’s a light breeze, but it’s not bothersome.

"Wow. This place is huge. So this is where you spent your year?"

"Yeah," I reply with a small smile. "You haven’t seen anything yet. I’ll check with Lucy if we can take a tour later."

"That’d be cool! Is that where you did those famous laps?" she asks, pointing to our left.

I chuckle, nodding.

"Yeah, I know those pretty well, if you want to know."

"I bet you do," she teases.

- Over there, those are the classroom buildings, I said, pointing them out to her.

- And next to the fields?

- The gym. That, I said, pointing to the building in front of us, is the administration building. And the two buildings you see on the right are the dormitories.

- Wow. Which one was yours?

- The one in front. We were on the first floor. There's also the cafeteria behind it, but according to what Lucy told me, there will be a snack bar there soon. You'll get to see it.

She nodded with a smile. I could tell she was excited to be here. I understood her. After everything I'd told her, I'd have been in the same state. She looked around, trying to get her bearings. I did the same, but mostly to find my friends. There were so many people. I was surprised to see how many had come with someone. Lucy was probably right. It's an experience that marks the students, and they're proud to show where they were. That's how I felt with Mapi. My eyes eventually landed on Alexia, who was waving wildly until she reached us.

- You’re finally here. I saw Lucy and Ingrid arrive without you, and I was starting to wonder.

- Ona doesn't want to be seen with her just yet.

- For how long? Alexia giggled.

I rolled my eyes as they laughed together. Those two were getting along just a little too well.

- Where are they anyway?

- What, you want to join them already? Mapi teased.

- No. Just testing the waters. So?

Alexia smiled and nodded her head toward something behind me. I turned around to see Lucy with her former colleagues, and even Jenni was there.

- She ended up coming with you?

- Thankfully. She wasn’t too thrilled, but I didn’t give her a choice.

- Poor girl, Mapi teased.

I laughed softly and nodded. I got it, but I also understood Alexia perfectly. I felt the same way. I turned back to them, but this time I saw Lucy looking right at us. The others around her were deep in conversation, but she was fully focused on me. We exchanged a smile. I would’ve given anything to be by her side, but it wasn’t time yet.

- The others are over there if you want to join, Alexia said, grabbing my attention again.

- Yeah, good idea, I replied. I’m happy to finally see everyone again.

- They’re excited to see you too. Honestly, we were just waiting for you.

- Well, here we are.

We followed Alexia as she led us to the others. I ended up carrying Joan since he got shy around my friends. I couldn’t blame him. It was a lot of people, after all. It was the first time I’d been surrounded by so many people, but I wasn’t complaining. I liked my friends, and I planned to keep them close now that I was staying here.

- Ah! We were wondering if you’d come over, Alba greeted us.

- As if I’d ignore you, I chuckled. Hi, everyone.

- Well, you never know. You didn’t want to be friends with us at first, so we were wondering if you’d still talk to us now that classes are over, they teased.

- Fair point, but times have changed.

- That’s true.

I took the time to greet everyone individually. Mapi did the same, following behind me. She might have only met them once before, but she was so at ease with everyone.

- How did you accept your sister’s girlfriend? I teased.

- You knew? She seemed surprised.

- Like She wouldn’t? Alexia responded.

- Wait, so you know her?

- Well, yeah, I chuckled.

- Whatever, that’s not what’s important, Patri interrupted.

- Oh really?

I tilted my head as she nodded.

- We heard this is Bronze' last year. Since you were always with her, maybe you know something?

- Where did you hear that? I asked, frowning.

It was true, of course, but I was supposed to be the only one who knew. As far as I knew, I hadn’t told anyone. Did someone overhear us, or worse, see us together? Well, at this point, I guess it didn’t matter much anymore. Lucy wasn’t my supervisor anymore. She was just my fiancée now.

- Well, people came up to us thinking you were already here, Claudia continued. They saw her packing up on the last day, so now there are rumors.

- Oh, um...

I didn’t know what to say. Luckily, just then, a commotion started around us. Everyone rushed toward the notice board where the exam results were being posted.

- Oh! They’re putting up the results! Alba announced.

- Finally, her sister replied.

It had been a while since I’d felt this anxious. I felt sick to my stomach. Even back in high school, I hadn’t felt this way. Most of my friends rushed over to get a front-row view. Only Mapi, Alexia, and Leah and Alessia stayed with me.

- I feel sick, I confessed.

Leah burst out laughing.

- Come on, princess. It’s all done now anyway.

She was right, but I couldn’t help it.

- Well, I’m going, Alexia announced.

She led the way, and everyone followed. I turned to Mapi, who was happily playing with Joan, who I put down.

- Go ahead. We’ll wait here for you.

I smiled softly and followed the others at a slow pace. People were already reacting—some were exploding with joy, while others were crying. I didn’t know where to look, feeling completely lost. My eyes scanned the crowd, and I realized I was unconsciously searching for Lucy until our eyes locked. I relaxed instantly when I saw her walking toward me with a reassuring smile.

- Don’t be scared. I’ll go with you, she said as she reached my side.

- Thanks.

I bit my lip and let her guide me with her hand resting on my lower back. We walked together to my section, where I saw Alessia, Leah, and even Lotte screaming with joy. I figured everyone had passed. I would feel so awful if I was the only one who didn’t. We made our way to the front of the list as most people had already seen their results, making it easier to approach. I grabbed Lucy’s hand, squeezing it as hard as I could as I scanned the list for my name. I could feel my heart pounding, and finally, I spotted my name. I shifted my eyes slightly to the right, and as soon as I saw the result, I started to cry.

- I can’t believe it... I whispered.

- So? Lucy asked beside me.

- I... I passed! Oh my God, Lucy, I did it!

I literally jumped on Lucy, who wasn’t expecting it at all. She laughed as she caught me as best she could. Without thinking and not giving her time to react, I kissed her passionately. At first, she was so taken aback that she didn’t kiss me back. I almost regretted it, but she eventually responded, wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her back, burying my face in her neck.

- Oh my God. I can’t believe it. It’s all thanks to you!

- I wasn’t the one taking the tests.

- No, but without you, I wouldn’t have come this far, I said, pulling back to look at her. Thanks to you, I can now chase my dream and get into art school. And also, we can finally start our life together. I never imagined ending the school year like this.

Lucy smiled and kissed me again. I was sure everyone was watching, but I didn’t care. I was so happy that all that mattered was the two of us. It had always been like that from the beginning. Lucy took my hand and led me out of the crowd. Everyone was staring at us. At first, I felt a little self-conscious, which made Lucy laugh.

- I would’ve preferred to spare you this, but now we’ve got to own it.

- The last thing I’d ever be ashamed of is you, my love.

She turned with a smirk. I stopped in step and eagerly accepted her next kiss. She knew those words meant everything coming from me. A few months ago, I couldn’t even fully accept myself. When we finally made it out of the crowd, we rejoined Mapi and my sister, who had found Ingrid and Jenni. I left my girlfriend to jump into my best friend’s arms.

- "Guess who got their diploma, guys?!"

- "Yeah! Now that's some great news!" she exclaims.

I laugh with relief in her arms. All the pressure has finally eased away, making room for joy. I still can't believe it.

- "You really surprised everyone. People haven't stopped staring at us," Ingrid giggles.

Indeed, the stares don't stop. Not just from students, but even the staff. No one knew, but Lucy doesn’t seem bothered. She just shrugs.

- "As far as I know, we’re in the clear. I’m no longer part of this school."

I nod and savor a final hug from Mapi, which she surprises me with. She whispers in my ear:

- "I’m so happy for you, darling. You really deserve this."

- "Thank you," I whisper back.

Before I can fully part from Mapi, Alexia jumps on me next. I see our friends following, but for now, I’m waiting for her reaction.

- "We all made it!" she shouts. "We're going to have a blast tonight!"

She keeps screaming with joy as she runs over to Jenni, who struggles to catch her. And she, too, doesn’t hold back, kissing her girlfriend in front of everyone. After all, school’s over now, and nothing else matters. I also turn back to Lucy and kiss her again.

- "About time you two made it official," Leah teases. "Now we can finally get to know the commander for real."

- "You knew?" Alba says, surprised.

- "Come on, Alba, it was so obvious, »Misa tell her . "They were practically eating each other up with their eyes every chance they got."

I chuckle at her shocked expression while still clinging to Lucy’s neck. I exchange a knowing smile with Misa. I kind of suspected she had figured it out. In the end, not many people hadn’t. From what I can see, it’s only Alba and Patri who didn’t see it coming.

- "Maybe we weren’t as discreet as we thought," Lucy comments, noticing the same thing I did.

Everyone laughs because, honestly, I think by the end, we really weren’t. Still, when I went to see her in her office, it was genuinely to study. I worked my butt off, and it looks like all my effort paid off.

- "So, she’s the girlfriend you’ve had these past months?" Alba asks, still in shock.

- "Indeed. I said I’d come with someone tonight to introduce you all, but… well, I couldn’t hold back."

- "We called it! Mapi and I saw this coming ages ago," Alexia teases.

- "You’re dating Bronze. I can’t believe it. That’s insane!"

- "I’m not your instructor anymore. You can call me Lucy after all, we’ll probably be seeing a lot of each other."

- "Oh my God..."

I burst into laughter at her reaction.

- "What’s with all of you dating instructors?"

- "Hey, they’re pretty sexy," Mapi chimes in.

- "Wait, you too?" Patri exclaims, seeing my best friend hanging on Ingrid.

- "Yep. But I was never part of this school," she giggles.

I smile as Lucy kisses my forehead. I’ve finally introduced her. It was about time. She doesn’t seem as nervous as she thought she’d be. I imagine the situation feels strange for her, but thanks to Jenni and Ingrid, she’s surrounded by her friends.

- "What about the rumor going around?" Claudia asks. "Is it true you won’t be here next year?"

- "Yes, it’s true."

- "Really?" Leah says, surprised. "Did Wiegman find out?"

- "Yes, but that’s not why I’m leaving. I’m opening a gym with Jenni. And by the way, thank you, Alba, for your help. It was invaluable."

Poor Alba doesn’t know what to say. She’s just come to terms with Jenni and her sister, so I imagine it’ll take her some time to accept Bronze and me as well. But I have to admit, they’ve done a great job with Jenni. The kitchen was installed in the break room, but they’ve made the most progress in the locker rooms. They’ve revamped everything, installing new tiles, new shower cabins, and changing areas.

- "You’re opening it with Jenni?"

- "Yes," she replies with amusement. "So, if you really plan to lend a hand this summer, you’ll be seeing a lot more of me."

She’d been pestering Jenni to help, but from the look on her face, I sense he might change her mind soon. I can understand her reaction. Lucy is known to be intimidating here. At first, it won’t be easy for her to be accepted as my girlfriend. Or maybe... She finally smiles.

- "Well, at least I know my sister was in good hands all along... I guess I owe you a lot, too."

Lucy chuckles softly.

- "No, you’ve got it wrong. I hated your sister for a long time because of Jenni’s dismissal. It’s my relationship with Ona that made us friends, since they’re so close. But I can assure you Jenni takes great care of her. You have nothing to worry about."

She nods appreciatively, then looks at all six of us. I think she’s realized her sister is in good company now. She finally looks at me with a small smile.

- "You really don’t do things halfway when it comes to making changes. Making the commander bend, seriously."

I laugh, shrugging.

- "We both bent to each other. What can I say?" I reply, snuggling into my girlfriend. "I’m just glad you’re all okay with it."

- "Of course, princess. But now it’s time to let us into your little bubble."

- "No problem with that," Lucy responds. "We’ll start with tonight’s party."

They nod eagerly. In the end, everything turned out great. I’m so happy. Well, they don’t know yet that they’re now tied to Lucy for life after our engagement, but that’s a story for another time. They don’t need to know just yet. Lucy and I haven’t even picked a wedding date. Ideally, it would be next year, but with all the current projects, it might get pushed back. Neither of us wants to rush into it. What mattered was the commitment we made to each other. We wanted to make it official because we know we complete each other, and there’s no question of looking elsewhere. For now, the most important thing is to enjoy this moment together. We still need to pick up our transcripts, then grab a drink in the cafeteria to celebrate. After that, it’s time to unwind at tonight’s party at Leah house, but more importantly, to celebrate the beginning of our new life—life after Camp Wiegman. It’s clear everyone’s excited about it. I know I am. I can’t wait to live out my dreams alongside the love of my life. 

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART SEVEN

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels x f!reader)

Summary: You and Jack have a real conversation for the first time and you find out he's more vulnerable than you thought

(This is the seventh chapter of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX

Warnings: hurt, angst, hurt, angst, talk of past trauma, asshole!jack (but not really), mom!reader, and fluff because Wyatt is too cute

A/N: besties, I gotta confess 🥺 that I teared up writing this one, I don't know how you will all react, but my heart is broken for jack and reader 🥺

3.2k words

It was only evening when Wyatt finally showed signs of being tired. He loved Silver Pony so much and no matter if Jack showed him the other horses, he was hooked to your favorite girl, always clinging to her and stroking her soft fur. Silver Pony also enjoyed the affection, always hovering around the two of you gently, making your son giggle and reward both you and Jack with his sweet laughs. 

The cowboy didn't interfere, he just watched the two of you having fun, his mind wandering through his thoughts. For once, he didn't think of his late wife and their unborn son, instead, he kept thinking of you and Wyatt, wondering and picturing what life would be like if he hadn't made you go away, if he'd taken care of you while you were pregnant, he was sure you were glowing and looking gorgeous, he thought of what would it be like holding you at night, stroking your pregnant bump and talking to the baby in your womb. How he would shower you in presents and you two would get the baby's room ready together. He liked imagining taking care of Wyatt as a newborn, how he would probably be afraid of holding him and you would soothe him. You two would be so happy with your beautiful little family. He thought of all the celebrations and parties that could have happened on his ranch, your engagement dinner, your wedding party, Wyatt's first birthday and so on. It shattered his heart to think he had missed out on an entire life of happiness only because he was a bad person. 

He watched as the sun was setting and got up, gathering the basket and walking towards Silver Pony "I think we should head back, the sun is going down and Helen made us dinner…" he swallowed "it's your favorite sugar" he looked at you with his puppy eyes and you controlled the urge of rolling your own. It baffled you his ability of being a real dick and pretending nothing was happening, you were going to ignore what he said, but Wyatt smiled big "mommy happy?" He asked and you nodded, turning to Silver Pony "I'm very happy because I have you, my beautiful son, and also our gorgeous Silver Pony" she caressed down the mare's face and Wyatt whimpered as he couldn't reach it, so Jack quickly joined them, lifting him up and he imitated his mommy's gesture 

"I wove Silvew Pony… can we take hew home, mommy?" He tilted his head in such innocent way your chest tightened and you laughed softly at him "we can't fit her in our apartment baby, otherwise I'd love to take her with us, so for now she has to stay here" 

Wyatt pouted and nodded and then his face lit up as he had an amazing idea "can we wive hewe? With cowboy, mommy, Wyatt and Silvew Pony" he said happily and clapped his hands excitedly. Jack swallowed sadly and looked at you, you glanced back at him and licked your lips. As much as you wanted to punch him, you couldn't help but feel your lips tingling every time you remembered the kiss he forcefully imposed on you. 

"I would love for you and your mommy to live with me, big guy, but I think mommy likes the city, but you two are always welcome here, to spend the weekend or as long as you would like" he said and rubbed Wyatt's arm, seeing his skin was cold and they should probably get back inside. 

"Y/N… Wyatt is a little cold…" he said as he gently placed his big hand on your arm, startling you as you didn't expect his warm touch. "You're cold too. Here…" he told you, carefully handing you Wyatt as he took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around your body. 

You didn't say much as Wyatt snuggled you, clinging to your body and yawning as your warmth spread through his body. You also tried not paying attention to Jack's scent lingering all over it. It smelled like pine, a little bit of cologne, whiskey and him. It used to be your favorite smell in the whole world, but now it only left shattered pieces of your heart behind. You nuzzled Wyatt's curls and kissed his forehead, making him giggle as you two rushed inside as Jack stayed behind to take Silver Pony back into the stable. 

Helen greeted you at the door, you knew Saturdays evenings she went back to her home and would only come back on Monday, she was ready to go, but not without showering Wyatt and kisses and hugging you tight, telling you once again how happy she was to see you and how she wished you would come more often to visit them, you nodded and said goodbye, feeling happy to have seen the woman and placed Wyatt down. You took off Jack's jacket just in time to see him walk through the door and handed it back to him "thank you" you said in a low voice and turned to your son "now you're gonna get a nice warm shower, okay? So we can have yummy dinner" she told him, but he pouted and hugged his dad's legs, who knelt in front of him and stroked his cheek "mommy is right, buddy, you gotta do what she says, it's time for shower because no one likes a smelly cowboy" he winked and tickled his tummy making his son laugh. 

You nodded, surprised at Jack's reinforcement as you expected low of him after he displayed his true character towards you so many times. You just assumed he would always take the easy road in order to be Wyatt's favorite, but it was good he knew you should work as a team and not as rivals. 

You took Wyatt back to the guest bedroom you'd be having through the night as you would help him shower in the bathroom. He was excited to put on his horses PJs after showering, so he could show his cowboy friend how much of a cowboy himself he was. You chuckled, finding it amusing while Wyatt already got undressed by himself and got under the shower wanting to be over with it as soon as possible; though you tried starting it, no stream of water came out and you sighed, as you had no idea how to fix it, you wrapped a towel around your son and went to the stairs, calling Jack so he could assist you. He ran up the stairs as quickly as possible, excitement rushed through his veins as you were addressing him "what's wrong?" He licked his bottom lip and watched you intently

"Shower's not working" you informed him and he nodded and followed you into the bathroom. Wyatt giggled as he saw the cowboy, he shyly hid under his mommy still in his towel, waiting patiently while Jack took a look at things. 

"Seems like this cowboy will have to shower somewhere else and you too sugar. You can take the bathroom in my bedroom, you know where it is and you can use the tub as well" he said with an excited smile at Wyatt "how's that buddy? Would you like to be a water cowboy tonight?" He cooed at Wyatt who nodded excitedly "pwease mommy, i want to pway watew cowboy" he pouted and you agreed, heading towards Jack's bedroom - the one that used to be yours too. 

"I'll warm up dinner while you bathe him, sugar, unless you want my help…" he offered but you quickly dismissed. 

After Wyatt had a blast in Jack's tub and begged you to brush your hair to the side just like the cowboy's, the three of you had dinner together. Helen had been so kind to make your favorite dish, along with some nuggets for your son, who enjoyed every second of it completely oblivious to the tension between you and his daddy. 

Wyatt didn't take long to fall asleep on the couch after the amount of fun and activities he had during the week. He was so happy and enjoyed every single minute of the day and, though Jack sighed a little disappointed as he saw him already fast asleep

"I wanted to show him the bedroom I set up for him… Y/N please, I want Wyatt to keep coming here, you too, of course, so you can visit Helen and Silver Pony, but I know you hate my guts so I won't force you to come any longer, but I want my son around" he said as he sat on the edge of the couch and caressed his hair gently. 

"Why did you come back after so long? I don't understand… I know you've been providing us with money here and there and that you also watched us from afar, but why now?" 

You saw how tense Jack got as he looked down and took a deep breath, ready to speak but then changed his mind as Wyatt whimpered in his dream "this ain't something we should talk about in front of a kid, Y/N… go relax, take your shower and I'll tell you later" he said firmly and very gently picked up Wyatt, asking you to follow him down the hallway where he stood next to a door, which you remembered really well it was another guest bedroom, but apparently Jack had made it into Wyatt's room. He waited for you to open the door as his own hands were busy with your son and your heart warmed at how beautifully he had it made. 

It was of course, all farm themed, with paintings on the wall, all kinds of animal plushies and matching furniture. You knew your son would go crazy once he saw it and you couldn't help tearing up at how thoughtful that place was. Even if things were ruined between you and Jack, maybe he could be a good father after all. 

He covered Wyatt gently and pecked his forehead, turning to you and giving you another sad smile "you should go shower now, we can talk in a little while" 

                           •••

Jack waited for you to exit the bathroom in his master room with a glass of scotch in hands and sitting down in the armchair. He felt anxious at the same time he wanted to get things done with you as soon as possible. He knew you deserved the truth, as well as his apologies though he was sure you wouldn't actually accept them, still he had to try. He wanted his son around and he could only get it if you could stand him at least a little, because even if he had blackmailed you, he didn't want to bring lawyers into the game, he didn't want to take things to the court and cause you and Wyatt more distress. He hoped he could make things civil between the two of you and he knew the way of getting into it was being honest with you. 

He could hear the shower running and wondered why you hadn't bathed in the tub, as you loved doing it and very often invited him to join in with you. He felt a wave of lust hitting him, as he thought of all the time you'd spent there together, how you touched each other's bodies, your lips on him, your taste in his mouth, he was so happy and wasn't even aware that would end some day. 

He was so caught up in his thoughts he barely noticed the shower went completely silent and a few minutes later, you opened the door and walked out only in your underwear, completely unaware of him at first. He gasped and felt his mouth getting dry, not expecting such a beautiful sight for his sore eyes, he licked his lips and wasn't sure if he should make his presence known, though his presence was completely explicit as he was sat there a few meters from you, under the bright lights, you were just too distracted, and he knew exactly what had caught your attention: the picture frame he had in one of his shelves. It was you and Wyatt, on his first birthday. 

You didn't know how you missed it the first time you'd been into his bedroom earlier, taking your son to be bathed, but now you saw it: it was a picture of you and him. You didn't know how Jack managed to get his hands on that picture, but it was also quite shocking as you analyzed the rest of the furniture and the wall and you didn't find any pictures of his late wife. Why did he keep your pictures and not hers? It was another Jack Daniels mystery you weren't sure you wanted to find out. 

You knew you would have to put up some clothes and find him, he managed to make you curious and you didn't know until what extent he needed to tell you something serious or if it was one of his games, but once you turned away and walked to his bed to get the clothes you'd left there, you finally spotted him in the armchair. Your heart nearly stopped at the sight of him there, you didn't expect to see Jack and he looked almost as shocked as you did, not believing you were flashing him your body like that. 

"Fuck Jack, what are you doing here?" You raised your voice at him, anger and embarrassment formed a wave inside of you, as you immediately grabbed your towel and covered yourself. 

He swallowed hard and finished his whiskey, looking embarrassed himself and rubbed the back of his neck "I didn't know you would come out of the shower without clothes, well, technically you're covering your… body" he said choosing his words carefully "but I thought you'd be fully dressed and well, you look gorgeous, even better than what I remembered, if it makes you feel any better. 

You scoffed at him and shook your head 

"Gorgeous? You said I looked rough this morning, Jack… you don't have to pity me. Besides, don't forget you're older than me and with the way you drink, you can start kissing your pretty face goodbye real soon, so you will definitely look rougher than me" you spat at him, not caring if that was pretty at all. You caught a hint of hurt in his eyes and that made you feel really proud even if it shouldn't have, but he immediately shook his head and stared at you. 

"I deserved that" he chuckled dryly "but I didn't mean that, and I also didn't mean anything bad I told you before… I am a dick I know, but I knew you hated my guts after I made you leave and I thought to myself it would be easier for me if I just pushed you away, you hate me Y/N and you got all the right to do so, and I thought it would be less painful if I forced myself to believe I hated you too, maybe if I tried hard enough, I'd stop loving you and it would be easier to handle your rejection" he said feeling ashamed and looked down. 

You sat in the other armchair, the towel covering your body as you listened to his words 

"You don't look rough at all, you're as gorgeous as you were the day you walked out of my life, Y/N, you're not a bitch, and I won't get any lawyers, I promise you" he said with a small voice "I've been hurting you so you hate me more, because I will never be worthy of your love again, I lost you, but I don't wanna lose my kid, Y/N, please" he said honestly and watched as you just had a hard expression on your face 

"You know Jack, the first time I saw you, I was already head over heels, you were on a mission and I had no idea, but I saw you approaching that woman and throwing your charm and she refused you. It was kind of funny, but all I could think of was that if it were me, it would've worked, you would have me wrapped around your finger…" you said "and only at the end of the night you saw me… and then when we started dating, I found out you'd been married before, and that's the problem with you, I'm always your second option, and I will always be" you shrugged "it hurts… to know I'm not the woman that's on your mind, that whenever we do something special to know you are thinking of how much you'd like to do with her instead… I don't want my son to grow up knowing he is only here because you couldn't have your first option… I don't want him to feel he has to compete with a ghost, because that's how I felt… that's even how I feel Jack, because do you even hear yourself? You would never do this to your wife…. You would never try to push her away by being cruel like you are, if it were her, you would get on your knees and beg for her forgiveness" you said and got up walking to his bed and getting your clothes. You didn't want to talk to him anymore, you were tired of being that hurt, as you tried leaving, he got up and held you by your wrist, firmly, making it clear you were only leaving that place when he wanted you to 

"The reason why I wanted you and my son back in my life, is because I was shot on my last mission. I tried sabotaging the mission, but the other agent got suspicious and shot me. They took me back to Statesman and Ginger fixed me right, but she still needed to trigger my memory, so she showed me a picture of my wife, God bless her soul, and nothing happened" he licked his lips and stared into your eyes "so Ginger decided to show me a picture of you and Wyatt, and that was when everything came back all at once. Us, our relationship, our life here on the ranch. I was able to relive my memories once more, and when I got back to my senses, Champ forced me into therapy, and you know what the therapist concluded?" Your jaw dropped the moment you saw Jack had tears in his eyes, you had never seen him show that kind of emotion, he was really good at controlling his feelings and he didn't show that kind of vulnerability in front of anyone. You realized he'd asked you a question and as you swallowed hard, you shook your head, answering him. 

"The therapist said I replaced one grief with another; I finally let my first wife and son rest in peace and I was grieving the loss of you and Wyatt, because I couldn't handle the guilt of making you two go away, but he reminded me you two were very much alive and I didn't want to waste any more time, I just knew I wanted my family back, and that's why I beg you for a second chance, sugar"

_____

A/N: besties, I hope you have liked this chapter and let me know your thoughts, does this cowboy deserve a second chance?

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗎𝗌𝗍 - 𝖢.𝖲. (𝗉𝗍. 1)

Author's Note: First series about Chris & Y/n! I have a lot of ideas for them so I hope you enjoy part one! I was inspired to write this by the song Martin & Gina by Polo G 🫶🏼 This chapter is in Chris's POV but it will go back & forth!

Synopsis: (Chris's POV) Chris would do absolutely anything to keep his best friend safe and happy.

Warnings: Language, small use of the word r*pe (nothing happens), alcohol/over drinking, fluff

Word Count: 2k+

Chris’s POV

My eyes were locked on her. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched the way she moved her body on the dancefloor. She was so effortlessly beautiful. She always had been. 

I was fascinated by her the second I met her at nine years old. It was the first time I ever felt any type of feeling for a girl. The way she smiled and waved at me from across the street as she helped her parents carry boxes inside. I couldn’t help but smile back. And when my mom insisted me and my brothers go help our new neighbors, I got choked up in her presence. 

But that’s a story I’ll reminisce about another day. Right now my job as her best friend was to protect her at all costs. Y/n had a lot of ups and downs in her life and I was by her side for every single one of them. But now that we were in our 20’s living in LA, free from the confines of our parents and hometown, she really loved to let loose and forget everything that ever happened to her. I loved watching her have fun but she wasn’t always the most graceful drunk. And if I’ve learned anything from the guys that frequent the sleazy bars and clubs downtown, it’s that they have no respect for women, which made my drunk and vulnerable best friend an easy target. 

So yeah, while my brothers and friends were also letting loose, I always had an eye on Y/n and remained close enough to her to rescue her if she needed me but not too close that I was hovering like an overprotective dog. 

Me and Matt both threw back a shot of whiskey at the bar. I checked my phone, it was 11:34 pm. Taking me all of two, maybe three seconds tops. I glanced back over to where I had last seen Y/n and Madi dancing but now Y/n was missing. I make my way through the sea of people towards Madi.

“Where’s Y/n?!” I yell over the music. 

Madi looks around. “I don’t know! She was just here!”

I could feel my stomach tighten as I looked around the room. She couldn’t have gone far, I only looked away for two seconds. My eyes landed on her new gold dress, she was barely able to walk, leaning on some random guy for support as he led her towards the exit of the club.

“Y/n!” I yelled, pushing past people to get to her as quickly as I could. I reached out and grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face me. “Y/n! Are you okay?!”

“Chrisssyyyyy!” She beamed and fell into me, wrapping her arms loosely around my neck. “I’m drunkkkk!”

“Yo, do you mind? I’m tryna get some tail!” The skeezy fuck that had his dirty hands on her said to me.

“Uh, yeah, I fucking mind!” I snapped back at him, pulling Y/n to my side. “Back the fuck up, homie!”

“What’s going on?!” Nick asked as he approached with Matt and Madi. 

I handed Y/n off to Madi. “This fucking sleaze bag was about to take Y/n home and fucking rape her!”

“I wasn’t gonna rape her, man! She said she was down!” He replied. 

“Does she look like she’s in any state to consent?!” Nick shot back at him. 

I could feel a heat rising in my chest as he eyed Y/n again.

“Looks like she takes it all the time!” The guy laughed and it triggered an immediate reaction in me. 

Before I even knew what was happening, my fist crashed against his jaw, knocking it out of place. He attempted to swing back but I was already two steps ahead of him, laying into him with everything I had.

“Chris!” Matt and Nick yelled simultaneously, grabbing my arms and pulling me away as a few other people dragged the guys limp body away from me. 

“Say it again, homie! See what fucking happens!” I was screaming at him. “Oh what’s that?! Can’t talk with a busted ass jaw?!”

“You three, out!” The bouncer yelled, grabbing me, Nick, and Matt and throwing us out the front door. “Get out of here before the cops show up, kid.” He said to me.

“I’m not leaving without Y/n.” I told him. 

“We’re coming…” Madi said, guiding Y/n out of the club. 

I took her into my arms once again and tilted her chin up to look at me. “Y/n, sweetheart. Look at me.” I said to her, it took a moment for her eyes to focus but once they did she smiled. “You okay?”

“Mhmm,” She giggled. “I missed you!” She had no recollection of what just happened.

I was annoyed with the events that just took place but her honey soaked voice always made me smile. “Let’s get you home, yeah?”

“Mmmmkay…” She agreed. “

“Is she okay?” Matt asked. 

“She’ll be fine. I’m taking her home.” I told them. “You guys can stay out if you want.”

“You sure you don’t need any help?” Nick asked.

“I got her. Go have fun. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” I said, crouching down slightly. “Get on my back, sweetheart.” I said to Y/n. 

She sloppily threw herself against me, wrapping her arms around my neck and I helped her onto my back. She was minutes away from passing out and since home was right up the street, I didn’t mind carrying her. 

“Alright…text us when you’re home.” Matt said. I gave him a mock salute and made my way towards my house. 

-

“Y/n, wake up!” I whispered to her softly as I let her down. “We’re home.” 

“Hmm?” She hummed.

“We’re home. Let’s get you to bed, okay?” 

“Chris, I don’t feel good…” She said.

“Are you gonna be si-” I was quickly cut off with the answer to my question as she threw up all over her new dress. “Fuck, sweetheart, come here.” I shifted her to the side so that she was aiming for the bushes as I held her hair back. “Just let it out.” She puked for a full minute before finally being able to catch her breath.

“I might have drank too much…” She said softly. Her voice was hoarse. 

She seemed so weak and pitiful. It broke my heart. I hated seeing her like this. “It’s okay, let’s get you cleaned up, okay? Can you walk?”

She nodded. I led her into the house and helped her downstairs to my room. I turned on the shower and grabbed her some towels. “I’ll grab you some clothes to wear. Do you want me to wash your dress?” 

“Yes please…” She said softly.

“I’ll be right back,” I said as I closed the bathroom door, allowing her to strip out of her dress and heels. I went to my dresser and grabbed my favorite t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. I also grabbed her a bottle of water. She already had her own drawer in my bathroom with all of her basic necessities. She stayed over all the time so I wanted to be sure she had everything she needed. I went over and knocked on the door. She swung it open, a towel draped around her body and mascara running down her cheeks. 

“Y/n, what’s wrong? Do you feel sick again?” I asked. 

“No. I’m just…I’m sorry…” She mumbled.

“Hey!” I said, taking her chin between my thumb and index finger, forcing her to look up at me. “Don’t be sorry. Everything is fine, alright?” She sniffled softly and I pulled her in for a hug, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “Take your time, get cleaned up, okay? I’ll make you something to eat and then we can go to bed, yeah?”

She nodded in agreement and I smiled at her. “Here’s some clean clothes and water. Give me your dress, I’ll throw it in the wash. She handed me her dress and I moved to close the door. “Yell if you need me, okay?”

She smiled in agreement and with that, I left her alone to gather herself. I headed upstairs and threw her dress in the washer. I looked at all the cycle options with confusion, trying to decide how exactly this machine worked. I picked up my phone and texted Matt.

Chris: How do I work the washer?

Matt: What are you washing?

Chris: Y/n’s dress. She got sick.

Matt: Just put a little bit of detergent in, turn it to delicate and press start.

Chris: Thx bro

I put my phone down and sighed. I went to the freezer and grabbed a pizza, throwing it in the oven before I thought back on the events of the night. I couldn’t fucking believe how shitty some people were. What if I hadn’t caught Y/n in time? What if she ended up in that dude's car and he took her home to do God knows what? It made me sick just thinking about it. I looked down at my hand and noticed the dried blood on my knuckles. I didn’t notice it until now but the second I realized I had split one open I began to feel the pain. 

I went over to the sink to scrub my hands, hissing as the water ran over the gash on my knuckle, proving to be a lot larger than I had originally thought. I opened the cabinet above the microwave where Nick had dedicated a space to cures for any ailment. I pulled out the first aid kit and wrapped a bandage around my hand, using my teeth to tear the cloth. 

The oven went off and I pulled the pizza out, cutting it and throwing a few slices onto a plate. It was a regular cheese pizza but I knew it would help sober Y/n up a bit so she could hopefully sleep peacefully tonight. 

I grabbed a Pepsi and water from the fridge and made my way downstairs. When I got to my room, Y/n was still in the shower. I put her pizza and water on her side of the bed and grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels to find something decent to watch at this hour. I finally landed on Spongebob and thought that would be a good option to fall asleep to. 

I heard the shower shut off and I scrolled my phone as I waited for Y/n to join me in bed. It was another 20 minutes before she finally emerged from the bathroom. 

“Hey! How’re you feeling?” I ask her as I pulled the covers back for her to get into bed. She looked so cute with her braided hair and bare face with my t-shirt draped over her like a dress. 

“A little better,” She shrugged. “Less drunk.”

“Good. Let’s get some sleep, sweetheart.”

“I don’t even remember what happened tonight. I completely blacked out.” She said as she sat in bed and hugged her knees to her chest. 

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, pulling her into me. “Everything is fine. You’re here and you’re safe, okay?” She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. She felt so weak and fragile. “Do you want some food? I made pizza if you want it.”

“Maybe in a bit,” She sniffles. “Can we just cuddle first?”

“Of course, come here.” I leaned back and Y/n rested her head on my chest. I dragged my fingers softly over her back, willing her to sleep while she had an arm and leg draped over me. 

In less than ten minutes I could hear soft snores escape her lips and I smiled. I felt like such a dick for losing sight of her. I had to keep reminding myself that she was here with me and safe. Nothing could hurt her now. 

She was an adult and she could do as she pleased. But I so badly just wanted to spend eternity with her here in my room where I knew I could protect her from all the evil of the world. She didn’t deserve the shit life has thrown at her and watching her drink her pain away broke my heart. I wish I knew how to help her…

Tags: @strniohoeee @daisysturniolo. @justangelheree @flowerxbunnie @recklesssturniolo @lustfulslxt @mangosrar @bluesturniolo333 @christinarowie332 @kenzieiskoolaid @sturniolopepsi @mattenthusiast @ilovecrazymen @sturnphilia @poopydroopt

[robinsno1lesbian]

Hehehe i thought of a way older!nancy would fit into the neighbor!robin AU and im thinking like nancy is friends with both readers parents and Robin, I’m thinking like readers mom is also a journalist and works with nancy and well Robin obviously knows nancy.

But like she starts coming around to readers house more and accidentally walks in on Robin and reader🫣🫣 and Robin is like freaking out because her best friend just walked in on her and her neighbors daughter, but instead Nancy points out something Robin is doing wrong, like reader is possibly bound/being choked and Nancy points out some safety issues and well…the rest is history 🫣

neighbor!robin x nancy wheeler x fem!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1079

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), implied age gap (reader is 18+!!) , makeshift handcuffs, implied threesome, fingering, strap-ons, idk if that's a tw really but reader and robin get caught

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: literally screaming right now vix OH MY GOD- idk if this is still considered a drabble but enjoy <33 (also smut right below the cut so beware of that)

robin loves to make you scream.

and with how she’s pounding into you right now, you’ve got every reason to.

your arms are tied to your headboard, right above your head. you can’t move and you can hardly see, tears streaming down the side of your face. trails of mascara run down your cheeks, all because of how good it feels to be fucked mindless by robin buckley.

her belt has been wrapped around your arms multiple times, before she has tied it to your bed. you can hardly move like that, with no other choice left but to take all she’s giving you.

and god, she’s giving you plenty.

“oh my god robin, fuck”

her skilled fingers flick your clit before they return to your entrance, meeting no resistance at all as she dips them into you. your head falls back and your back arches when two of her fingers penetrate you. her digits are slim and long -much longer than yours- reaching depths you could never reach on your own.

you’re quite literally squirming beneath her, your body moving against her hand while she’s fucking you into literal oblivion.

you have lost all track of time, that’s how good she is making you feel. it must have been hours since she first entered your room and the aftershocks of your previous orgasms are still rippling through you.

and now your third one of the afternoon is about to flood your veins. the hot coil is already tightening in your lower abdomen, the sensation so good your eyes roll back in your head.

“f-fuck robin i’m almost- i-“ you cry. “you’re- you’re gonna make me cum again robin-“

but before she can push you over the edge by just one more thrust of her fingers, the door to your room flies open and you’re completely taken aback.

you're on the edge of cumming and yet your brain is no longer foggy with the build-up of your orgasm. you are thinking crystal clear now, fully capable of understanding that you and robin have been caught.

robin notices right after you do. she immediately jumps back and throws a blanket over your exposed lower body, leaving your breasts on full display to whoever has walked in on you.

“holy shit i- i’m so sorry”

the voice causes your head to spin; it is one you recognize. a voice you know all too well.

the person standing in your doorway is nancy wheeler.

of course, it is nancy: the two of you were supposed to meet up today. realization dawns on you, it truly must have been several hours of this.

and now you're spread out on your bed, hands still tied above your head, without a chance to cover yourself or robin. truth be told, there is no way to excuse what you've been doing.

"nancy oh my god" robin jumps up to stand in front of the bed, trying to get in the way of nancy's gaze. "this isn't- i can explain"

the sound of robin's voice is so unfamiliar. you've never seen her this freaked out, this scared. "look we- i mean i-" her voice is trembling now and even though you can't see her face from where you're laying, you know fear must be written all over it. never has she ever been this way around you.

"jesus buckley" you could be mistaken but is that amusement in nancy wheeler's voice? "don't worry about it" nancy's heels click against the floor when she steps closer. something in robin's posture changes too, like tension is released from her body. "i-" "shh" nancy hushes and cuts her off. she's standing right in front of robin now, staring up at here calmly. "i wanna show you something" her gaze meets yours for a second. "is that okay?" your throat has gone dry and it takes all your strength to speak up. "y-yeah" immediately, she looks back up at robin. "see the way you've tied her to the bed?" something about her words, about her being here and not minding one bit, does things to you that you can't seem to wrap your head around. you want robin, you know that now. but nancy? you didn't think your little sexuality crisis could get any worse than this. and yet...the way she's looking up at robin and her eyes keep glaring over at you...it makes you want her in ways you've only ever wanted robin before.

the question seems to catch robin off guard, as if she had expected something entirely different.

"uhm-yeah" she nods after giving your makeshift handcuffs a quick glance. "fun but...you can do better than that robin"

"what?" "listen" she crosses her arms. "i can walk out of that door and pretend this never happened. i can forget about this if that's what you want. pretend like i don't see the way you've looked at each other before..." nancy taps her index finger against her chin as if in thought.

"or you allow me to help" you don't even bother to stop yourself from nodding, causing both robin and nancy to look at you. "you want this?" robin questions. she grins sheepishly and you know she has already made up her mind. "y-yeah"

nancy steps next to robin and leans forward, her arms resting both of her palms on your footboard. "what is it that you want?" you watch when robin crosses her arms, tongue pressed against the inside of her cheek. she wants a show and you're willing to give her that.

"ruin me"

that is how you end up on your front, with your head pressed against the many pillows on your bed. both of your hands have been tied behind your back by nancy who is now kneeling right behind robin. robin, who is currently pounding into you at a brutal pace, both hands on your hips. you can't see either of them, but you can hear their voices. "see? that's much better isn't it?" nancy mumbles. "she's taking it so well too, god-"

"isn't she?" robin leans forward, causing the strap to sink even deeper into you. her front is pressing down on you, her lips the closest to your ear they could be. "such a good girl" "please" you babble. "please please please" all while you're throwing your hips back against her over and over again, fucking yourself on the strap. "i think she wants us" nancy chuckles. "and i think we should give her what she's begging for, don't you robin?"

[lovelovelovelovelove987654321]

One Year

A/N: Hey guys!!! Sorry its been ages and ages and ages since my last fic. Genuinely so sorry. Idk how I feel about this one and the next one I'm posting, so let me know what you think. I live off of comments, reblogs and likes btw!!! Also this is NOT BETAD. SORRY!!

TW: mention of sex, mention of pregnancy, mention of miscarriage

Simon stands next to you, hands shoved deep in his pockets. For a long while, neither of you says anything. After a few minutes, days, months, years, he breaks the silence with a mumbled "Remember when we got our first house?"

When you dont respond, he continues.

"You were so happy. I was so happy. We were young and in love and everything was good." He says 'we were in love' as if he ever fell out of love with you.

A deeply sad and bitter chuckle sounds from him.

"It was just a shitty flat. Not even safe to live in, probably. But it was ours." It was really yours, if he was being honest. Everything in his life was yours. But once he'd puttered about the place, tightening screws and greasing hinges, it felt like it could be a little bit his. Just a little.

He pauses, swallows, squeezes his eyes shut.

"I fucked you in every room of that house." His voice is hoarse, pained.

"We called it fucking because we wanted to be, I dunno, mature. Cool. But it was making love. Everything we did together was making love." His voice gets quieter and quieter before finally cracking.

"You got pregnant. It was the singular best moment of my life when you told me." He makes a choked sound, "A kid would have been lucky to have you as a mom. We would have been lucky to have a id. But luck was never on our side for long, was it?"

He shakes his head sharply, moves on.

"Remember when we bought our house? When we got married? When we went to the ocean for our honeymoon? I do. I remember every blissfully happy moment." He chuckles again, but this time its actually a slightly happy sound.

"Every time I looked at you I was struck dumb by how beautiful you were. How lucky I was to have you."

He snorts. "I say 'was' as if you ever got less beautiful."

"You always used to asked me if I was okay, if I was having flashbacks. But most of the time I was just stunned by how perfect you were."

He takes a deep breath, opens his eyes.

"Remember all our anniversaries? The flowers and the smiles and the photo albums and the extra kisses?"

He waits for a second, as if he expects you to say something. When you dont, he continues.

"I loved our anniversaries, but really they were just like any other day. We always loved each other. We would always go do things together."

His voice drops again like he's admitting something shameful.

"I dont know what to do with my days anymore."

He confesses. "I'm re-enlisting, I think. If they'll take me. Maybe as a training officer. Although I always did hate the rookies..."

He pauses, almost smiles.

"I remember whenever I came home complaining about them, you'd just give me a kiss on the forehead and say they 'just wanted to be me'." "I always told you that that was stupid, because why would anyone want to be me? I'm nothing."

"And you would always say 'you're mine' and then I had to agree: all the rookies probably did want to be me. Anyone would." The silence creeps back in, thick and suffocating. "I have too many things at home now."

He whispers. "Too many florals. I dont know what to do with 'em."

His voice is barely audible. "I miss you. I love you." He gently caresses your headstone and lets a few tears fall. Its been a year since you died, but he still visits you daily. After all, the both of you had promised to talk every day, even if you were mad at each other. Who was he to break that?

[all4yoi]

Dear Jongseong,

pairing › jay x fem!reader

sypnosis › [name] has only ever known pain ever since her mother's passing.. but whenever she's about to lose herself, jay has always been there to her aid and remind her that life isn't simply about pain.

cw › 2.23k words - lowercase intended, fluff, angst, friends to ??, usage of substances, reader vomits, mentions of death, reader suffers from depression, su!cide attempt (overd0sing)

notes › it's okay not to feel okay, if you're going through something and you feel like ranting, my inbox is always open for you. i've just finished five survive by holly jackson recently so if you see any quotes of her here ikyk 🤞

"i don't want to, pa! just leave me alone!" you exclaimed as you threw the pill bottle infront of your father, messing up your hair as you breathed heavily.

the older man sighed, rubbing his tears away behind his eyeglasses before stepping forward. "you have to take your antidepressants [name]. it'll make you feel better." he calmly said, picking up the pill bottle you dropped infront of him.

"i promise."

"no, no, no." came your slurred response.

the elderly man let his tears escape silently as he saw his only daughter break apart in front of him, making no move to chase after you when you ran up to your room. he wondered what had gone wrong. instantly came to mind: indeed, his wife had passed away. three years have passed, and even though he was beginning to accept that his family would forever be incomplete, as he saw his daughter suffering from severe depression, he wished misun would enter through the front door, embrace him and [name], and reassure them that everything was just a nightmare and she's alive.

but a bad dream wouldn't last for 3 years would it? as much as he wanted his wife back, he desperately wanted his daughter back more.

So he dialed the only person that he was sure could calm [name] down.

"of course, i'm on my way." jay ended the call and instantly dropped the controller carelessly on his bed before getting his keys from his table and left his room.

"stop right there young man, where are you going?" his mother asked with a raised brow, putting the glass of water down on the counter and waited for her son's reply. his distressed face went unnoticed. "it's 11:30 in the evening." she added.

jay exhaled, opening his mouth but no words came out. he didn't know why he was so nervous.. was it because he got caught leaving the house so late, or was it because his head was full of you, you, you and only you?

"well? if there's no good reason.." the woman trailed off, extending her hand out, her palm facing the ceiling and gestured towards her son's car keys. this somehow made him talk.

"it's [name]! her father called and- ..a-and she's not feeling well.. fuck why am i stuttering?" he whispered a quick apology when he saw his mother furrow her brows with his foul language. "she just- i don't know mom! she just needs me okay? and the more i try to explain the more she's hurting alone!" he blurted out, brushing his hair back frustratedly.

his mother stood there startled, before nodding understandably. "okay, drive safe.. stay the night there if needed."

he nodded, hurriedly left the house and practically ran to his car and drove off.

jay held his tears back, his grip on the steering wheel tightening overtime that his knuckles were turning white. this had been a routine for 3 years straight. he'll either be in his room, out with his friends, stuck in a frat party before receiving a call from your father, and every single time.. he dropped everything and everyone who he was with to run to your aid.

he reminisced the past where everything was still all right. your mother and his sitting on a bench while the two of you pushed each other on the slide, or sneaking out and eating ice cream at a 24/7 convenience store. it hurt him that his best friend's whole word was taken away from her just like that, but he also didn't want to lose his own. he wouldn't forgive himself if something had happened to you. you were his job, his responsibility.

jay slammed the door of his car shut, running towards your house's front door and ringing the doorbell. instantly, your father opened the door, shooting jay a thankful smile. if jay had noticed the tear stains on the man's slightly wrinkled face, he didn't make it obvious.

"she's at her room, but she's locked it. it's been so quiet, and i'm so worried jongseong." with that, jay ran up the stairs and pressed his ear on your bedroom door once he has reached it.

and just like hajoon said, your father, it was quiet. too quiet for his liking.

"[name]?" knock knock. no answer

"it's seongie, can you let me in?" four knocks, still no answer. he was getting impatient.

jay didn't want to think the worse but he began pounding on your door, literally shouting your name again and again. his voice was cracking and sweat began forming on his forehead.

"call 911, please!" he shouted for your father who was already dialing the hotline. jay rubbed his face before breaking your doorknob.

once your door was open, jay's breath hitched at the sight of your body laying on the floor, unconscious. he had been too late. but he still ran to your side, pulling you up and tried shaking you awake.

it took him a moment to spot the pills on the floor beside where you were previously lying and shoved his index and middle finger in your mouth hastily, realization dawning him.

"i need you to throw up [name], come on, please." and once you've spilled your guts on your bedroom floor the paramedics has already arrived, the blue and red lights filling your room through the opened windows. jay choked back a sob, cradling your body. "you're okay, you will be."

he didn't know if he was reassuring you or himself.

"if i had just, chased after her." hajoon cried, his body shaking. jay's father pulled hajoon up, telling him that they should get some air together. hajoon complied and left the hospital with jay's father.

after the ambulance took you away, jay immediately informed his parents and they insisted they should be there for you and your father too.

"she'll be alright, jongseong." his mother rubbed his back. he didn't know why, but those three words angered him.

"she just overdosed herself with drugs and you're telling me she'll be alright?"

"well, i'm trying to be positive here!"

"well," he mocked, "it's not helping!"

jay has always been a mama's boy, so his sudden outburst shocked the both of them.

his mom exhaled and stood up with her purse, deciding to be the bigger person. "i'm going to get some food, call me if you need anything."

right when his mother left, a nurse approached him. jay instantly stood up, awaiting for the woman infront of him to start speaking.

"good evening, is any of miss [name]'s parents around?"

"nevermind that, is she okay? will she be okay?" the nurse blinked at him before nodding.

"yes, she will be. you were just right on time and it was a very smart move to make her vomit.. though we aren't sure when she'll wake up.. you can visit her right now if you'd like." jay felt like crying in relief, he thanked the nurse before entering the room you were admitted in.

he swallowed the lump in his throat and sat down on the chair beside your bed, the beeping of the machines were the only noise inside the room. jay didn't like seeing you like this, with all the wires hooked to you and your face scarcely displaying any color.. but at least you were at ease, finally, after three years, you were now experiencing tranquility rather than anguish.

"i'll wait for you.. but don't make me wait for too long, okay?"

it has been exactly 2 weeks since that night in the hospital. jay hadn't been himself ever since, he would space out during lectures, staying up all night hoping he'd get a call from the hospital or your dad.

jay was seated in the cafeteria with his friends when he received a call from your dad. he immediately excused himself, answering the phone as soon as he stood up.

"she's awake, jongseong."

that was all he had to hear before he was taking his backpack from the table, ignoring the questions from his friends.

sunghoon: dude if u were skipping u could've taken me w u :<<<

jay: shut up

jay: [name]'s awake

sunghoon: oh shit fr??

sunghoon: k dw we'll cover for ur ass

sunghoon: drive safe and send our regards to your gf ❤️❤️

jay entered the room silently and he had to hold back himself from tackling you in a hug and just cry on your shoulder, but he remembered this wasn't about him.

"hi." he whispered, sitting down on the same chair he last sat on and placed the food he ordered on the way on the table beside your bed.

your lack of response made him gulp. slowly, you looked at him, unshed tears resting on your tear ducts.

jay cooed, "oh, [name]," and got to his feet, embracing you. he stroked your hair while he resisted crying himself, and let you cry on his favorite shirt.

"please don't cry." he said in a whisper and pulled your head away gently, wiping your flowing tears with his thumbs.

"i-.. i'm sorry, jongseong." another sob from your throat escaped.

"you have nothing to apologize for."

"i almost left everyone.. left you."

he shook his head and gave you another hug, putting his lips on top of your hair as you whimpered inwardly, "but you didn't, and that's all what matters now."

"[name]?" you hummed in response, your breathing finally going back to normal. you did no movement to pull away from the embrace.

he pulled away, caressing your cheek, asking, "promise me you wouldn't do that again?" you simply nodded, and he smiled sweetly in your direction. he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, "good."

jay stayed by your side the whole day, feeding you, entertaining you, showing you jungwon's his notes, and filling you in with everything you've missed for the past 2 weeks.

it was the first time jay had seen you smile so much after 3 years, and he felt content, knowing he was the one who was able to make you happy like this.

the both of you were happy, until it was time for him to go home.

with his hand playing with your fingers, he murmured in a lovely voice, "i'll come back tomorrow with the boys after school, i promise." once more, he gave you a tender kiss on the forehead before releasing you.

he was about to leave the room, but your voice stopped him.

"hey, jay?" he turned towards you with a questioning gaze. "the night that i.. i- uh, wrote something for you." you played with the folded paper, avoiding his gaze.

"i don't think i want to read that [name]." he said breathlessly, shaking his head.

"please, everything i've wanted to say to you is in here. please read it, if you don't.. well, i won't stop trying." you blinked at him, finally looking up at him. jay gulped, wetting his lips before accepting the paper.

"it's nothing bad, i promise." he nodded, squeezing your cheek before finally leaving the room with a wave.

when his mother asked, "how was she?" once he got home, he simply gave her a peck on the cheek and responded, "she's fine," before heading up to his room.

he practically threw his bag on the floor before sitting down on his bed, opening the folded paper with shaking hands.

dear jongseong,

i'm writing you a letter because i don't think i'll ever be able to tell you everything i want to say to you if i said this in person.. first of all, thank you, for absolutely everything. for being there in the wake and letting me cry on your shoulder, for tolerating me for 3 years.. i know at one point you were probably so tired of seeing me ruin my life. taking substances, skipping school, shutting you and my dad out.. i'm sorry, i was a fool of thinking i'd forget everything if i took those.. i thought i'd be okay on my own. so thank you, for always being there whenever my dad calls, i've heard every single thing you've said to me when you thought i was knocked out, and i love you too, seongie. but it's so scary, i'm so scared of love, i'm so scared of you being taken away from me, just like how mom was taken from me. jongseong, please never leave me, i don't know what i'd do without you, you and dad.. you're all i have left, please help me. please don't ever stop helping me until i get better, i appreciate you so much and i love you so much. i'm so thankful for you and at the same time i'm so fucking sorry. am i selfish for wanting an ending that's just you and me? i promise i'll be better, for you and for dad, and for me too. i don't know if i'm still here once you've read this, but if i am, please run back to me. please come back and never leave my side. i love you, jongseong, forever and always.

yours forever,

[name]

[igncrxntripley]

Hey hey.. it’s your fav Dominik simp 😮‍💨

It’s Mother’s Day in the UK and I lost my mother unfortunately soooo I was wondering if you could do some Dominik comfort if you’re feeling it?

(I’ll end up re reading jd smut anyway but I thought I’d ask 🫶)

loss

a/n: literally anything for you ❤️ i hope this makes your day, sending you all the love!!

synopsis: dominik comes home to comfort you on one of the most difficult days of the year.

tags: SFW, grief, loss, mention of death, crying, fem!reader

Nothing about Mother’s Day was easy for you; a holiday you once loved celebrating turned into a memory after you lost your mother almost a year ago. Dominik knew this day was difficult as well and he wanted to do everything in his power to make you feel at least a little bit better, but he also knew it was going to be difficult. He did his best though by sending you a voice message early that morning, as did your other close friends and family who knew how difficult today was going to be for you. 

You’d found yourself on the couch for the majority of the day waiting for Dominik to get home from the airport. You had a box full of pictures and anything sentimental relating to your mom in front of you, curled up in her favorite blanket as you sorted through pictures. Even though there was a smile on your face getting to see her in some of your favorite memories, that didn’t make it hurt any less. Tears rolled down your cheeks the entire time, and eventually you stopped holding back the quiet sobs that threatened to leave your lips. You didn’t even hear Dominik open the front door. 

When Dominik walked in and saw you, his heart broke immediately. He wanted to be home from the moment you woke up but he also had to work with a busy travel schedule. Luckily he was able to get home as soon as management would allow him, but that didn’t make him feel any less bad about it. Dom’s face fell when he heard your soft cries and he abandoned his bags by the door. “Babe…” he said softly, watching you turn your head to look at him as he made his way to the couch. “Dom, I-I…” you started to say, but Dominik shook his head in response and sat next to you on the couch. As soon as his arms were around you, you started to sob even harder. 

“I know, baby. I know.” Dominik whispered into your hair as he let you cry into his chest. He shifted your body so it was in his lap and his grip tightened on you. “It’s n-not fair.” You cried, and he nodded in response. “It’s not fair. But we’re going to get through it.” Dom responded, running a hand through your hair as his body slowly rocked back and forth. 

Eventually your sobs died down into sniffles, your hand reaching over to grab some pictures of your mom that you’d been looking at before. Dominik looked at them with you, letting you sit in a comfortable silence to grieve your loss. “She would’ve loved you.” You told Dom softly, making him give the tiniest smile into your hair. “She always told me to find a strong man to take care of me.” You looked up at him, his thumb coming up and wiping the tears from your cheeks. “I have a feeling I would’ve loved her too.” Dominik said softly. “Show me some more pictures of her.”

You spent the next few hours sorting through pictures with Dominik, telling him all about your family and the moments behind those pictures. He got to see birthday parties, special events, holidays, anything that was sentimental. He also got to tease you for the pictures of younger you, and you made a mental note to get payback for that later. 

Dom spent the rest of the day doing things with you that made you happy; he cooked every meal, watched your favorite tv shows, and ran a hot bath for you that you asked him to join. As you two laid in the tub, bubbles surrounding your bodies and you leaning back into his chest, you looked up at him with a smile. “Thank you for everything.” You said softly as Dom leaned down to kiss your nose. “Anything for you, baby.” He said, his fingers dancing on your skin under the water. “I know I can’t fix it, but I’ll do whatever I can to make it better.” You leaned up to give him his own gentle kiss, smiling for one of the first times that day. “You did a pretty good job.”

[fellty]

discovered energy drinks recently. diary entry ahead

still figuring out my future, some health stuff as me evaluating life with the perspective that it could be short, though, it's not a huge concern yet and things are still very treatable. but, it is a concern to me, since the chance still looms in my head like a heavy stone. i like to think about the worst possible scenario, and roll as if it was a real reality, since then i've done the mental work to a degree, and well, i guess i want to have peace with that possibility (though, i will say, doctors have said right now the chance is low. it's just scary? who wants a chance like that at all?)

if i'm to take my health seriously, and think about my time being short, then i'd have spent a lot of time avoiding art because it made me uncomfortable, and then avoiding being uncomfortable by avoiding art. facing yourself on the canvas is a big task. my mind lives there, you know?

Synthesizing my sense of depression around not working on art, and also, my discomfort on working on art, has been a hard task. Autism floats around in there with masking having me wonder how much to be myself, especially online! how much is right? how much to be me? and at what cost? a prickly little balance.

all of that seems to live in my shoulders and back. my muscles tighten harder, my shoulders concrete and my lower back steel. what a cost masking has. i'm happier when i see rubber kitten roleplay than when i see ten people clutching pearls around it. if they're free, then i'm free too. (hell, the freedom to scoff and move on vs worrying they'll be attacked by a group with hammers.)

i think there is a certain discomfort in getting to know yourself if you're constantly in a state of moral panic about what being yourself even means to others. being predisposed to people pleasing as a kid has made moral panic on the internet a minefield for my mental health.

i think i figured why i never tried to become a doctor or a lawyer and doubled down on being an artist. 1) I really love art, and 2) i wanted to become something my dad could love as myself. i took that as a challenge, i could be better, smarter, but also i got burnt out quickly because i had to figure it out by myself. hating myself when i made mistakes was a natural outcome, because those mistakes were what made my dad dislike me. if i could eliminate those mistakes, then, i would be loveable, right? i accepted readily i was in the wrong, i was ready to be loved! every child is. hating myself was a mechanism of protection, i could be loved soon! wholly! if i was just better! lots of hope lives here, hope for a better me and a better world. the pain of that runs so deep, because as the mistakes pile up, with no hand to guide, and only scorn to give, you realize being small, silent, and still is the best course of action. it feels, safe.

the thing is that, that's not a reality where natural improvement exists. my dad didn't want a kid, and then had to contend with the reality that he had one. now what? i exist. i have all the same features you have that traumatized you growing up, that you never really contended with with a sense of love for yourself. i am so equally my mom and my dad, it's painful and freeing. i understand them, but i won't be them. I will heal myself and love myself.

it's uncomfortable. my parents react to a broader societal and generational trauma around mental health, my class room reacts, adults react, and pass it to me. there's such a mesh of pain i wish I could lift it all. i can only try and lift it in myself and not reinforce it in others, to celebrate others joyfully as they lift it in themselves. whewh. what a task.

it's uncomfortable to sit with that lore undigested while i draw. but i think the other reality i face is that if I don't actually dismantle that in me, i'll just be in pain forever. i want the life i wanted, i feel stubborn about it especially seeing other people live it with joy. me too!! i want this for me too!!

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Daddy

(Not sexual. Don’t even think it.)

Inuoka x gn!sugawara!reader

Your brother had been a blessing.

You had just planned to celebrate acceptance for your doctorate program, go out for the night, and… nine months later you had a baby you had never planned on. The other parent wanted nothing to do with him, so Eijirou was yours, and yours alone.

It was such a stroke of bad luck to your mom- you had always been the good child. Always careful. Always working hard. You graduated high school early while taking college courses.

You were years ahead on your career path than all of your peers.

But once you held your son, you didn’t think it was bad luck at all. You were burning yourself out along the way, and that small, fragile being reminded you to appreciate little things and live your life while you can.

But you also worked twice as hard so you could give him the life he deserved.

Your brother was like a guardian angel. While you changed to night courses to complete your degree, Koushi moved into your apartment. He took care of your son while you went to class, would spend his days off with him so you could catch up on sleep. He never complained, raising Eijirou like a son rather than a nephew.

But eventually your degree was finished. You needed to find full time care so you could work during the day when you were needed. Koushi loved Eijirou nearly as much as you did, but he taught kindergarten. Eijirou wasn’t old enough for school yet- he was only three.

So instead he found you a day care, apparently a kid he used to play against in high school was one of the teachers, but what mattered was that your brother trusted him. And if Sugawara Koushi trusted someone to take care of the kid he loved like his own, they were probably a safe bet.

So you marched into the office, hoping to enroll your son on your day off.

And you met Inuoka.

As he looked at the forms you’d filled out, he muttered to himself, “Sugawara… why does that sound so familiar.”

“You’re probably thinking of Koushi. He went to Karasuno.”

“Right!” He grinned, “The setter. I only had a year against him, is he doing okay?”

“Oh, he’s great!” You smiled back, “A teacher at a local elementary school actually.”

“Glad to hear it.” He seemed so nice. No wonder Koushi liked him. “Your son’s name is Eijirou?”

“Yes.”

“And it says that you need day care services as soon as possible?”

“Not every day but…” you sighed, “Honestly, I raised him through getting my degree, I have to take whatever shifts the hospital schedules me for, at least until I prove myself, and Koushi can’t watch him during school hours.”

“That’s no problem.” He stood from the desk, gesturing out the door, “Let me show you around, you’re welcome to bring him by first thing in the morning to start here.”

Inuoka showed the school with a childlike enthusiasm that reminded you of Koushi, it was obvious why he wanted to work with kids.

But where Koushi made you feel familial pride, you could feel your chest tighten around Inuoka. So you shoved that feeling away.

You were not going to crush on your son’s day care teacher.

But that didn’t stop you from gushing to your brother about who cute he was.

From the first day for weeks Koushi took to dropping your son off at day care, most times he picked him up too. Sometimes you were able to, mildly flirting in joking ways. Just some fun banter.

The trauma head worked you to the bone so much in the first few months of residency that even though you were technically at work during the day, you felt like you forgot what the sun looked like.

No matter the time or level of exhaustion, when you finally made it home you would spend playing with them.

It never occurred to you that people misread your family situation until you finally got an afternoon free and went to pick up yourself.

Inuoka saw you before Eijirou did, sending him to grab his lunchbox, “I wasn’t expecting to see you today.” He laughed, “Your husband has been around so much.”

“My-“ you snorted, “No, no, god no. Koushi is my brother.”

“Oh.” His eyes widened, cheeks flushing in embarrassment, “I am so sorry.”

You waved him off, “I don’t know if you remember him- Daichi? The old captain at Karasuno back when Koushi played? They are dating.”

“That makes so much sense.” He smacked himself on the forehead as Eijirou came running back out.

“Bye daddy Inuoka!”

It was your turn to burn red, “Eiji! How long have you been calling him that?”

Your son cocked his head, “What’s wrong? Uncle Koushi says I can because you want him to be!”

“Oh, that’s it. Say goodbye to Uncle Koushi when you see him because I’m gonna kill him.” You huffed air, terrified to look at the teacher that still beside you after your son’s exclamation.

He just knelt down to Eijirou’s eye level, “Usually people are married when you use words like that, bud.”

But your son was nothing if not a traitor, “But I’ve heard you talking with Miss Yei! You said you like (paternal address) and think they’re pretty!”

Inuoka turned nearly as read as his old Nekoma uniform, but he powered through, “Then how about we start with me asking them on a date, and we’ll go from there?”

“Can I come?”

You could’ve sworn your brother described him as easily flustered and awkward and shy back in the day. But right now he shot a smirk your way. “If they say they want to go, I don’t see why not.”

Great. So much for not crushing on the day care teacher.

(By the time Eijirou was old enough to sit in Koushi’s class, Inuoka had proudly taken the title of his dad.)

Masterlist

[darklove9314-blog]

Nestas abusive mom and grandma forbid her from seeing local blacksmith cassian but she’s had enough and runs away with him anyway to be safe and happy.

TW: Abuse, Abusive Family Relationships. 

“Run away with me.” Cassian had blurted out one afternoon making Nesta glance up at him through her lowered lashed, her head resting firmly on his lap. His fingers rubbing tentatively at one of the bruises her grandmother had left on her that day, his face holding a sense of fury for her that Nesta had never known. 

“Where could we even go that my family will not find me? Do you not recall the influence that they have?” Nesta told him, fiddling with an apple in her hands as Cassian grasped them gently, concern lighting up his features, his gaze saying he had something to tell her. 

“What? What is it?” 

“I got a job offer in a town far from here. It’s small and probably won’t make that much more than I already do, but-” 

“It's a chance to get out of here.” She finished for him as Cassian nodded. 

She sat up, glancing down at her hands, a feeling of dread at the one person who made her truly happy leaving her to this cruel fate, but she knew it would be selfish to ask him to stay when he had been dreaming of getting out of this town for all his life. 

“If you wish to go-then I will not stop you.” Nesta told him as she felt him pulling her to him so she would glance at his eyes. 

“You’ve misunderstood what I’m asking Sweetheart. I’m not telling you this because I want to leave you, I would never want to leave you willingly. I’m telling you this because I want to take you with me.” 

“But my family-” She breathed out as Cassian placed his thumb on her lips seizing her words as they swallowed themselves down her throat. 

“Will understand-you already said they are also looking for ways out themselves.”

“I need to make sure they’re okay first. I can’t leave them to the wrath of my mother and grandmother.” 

Cassian’s arms tightened around her as if he didn’t want her to go back to the hell she was living in. As if he would take her and her sisters away if her had the funds and the choice to do so. but there was nothing Cassian could really say to change her mind.

“Your father-” 

“Is useless.” Nesta argued as his shoulders slumped slightly. 

“You should not be subjected to this life of cruelty because your father refuses to do anything about it.” Cassian told her, brushing his knuckles across her cheek. “You deserve all the happiness this love givers you and more.” 

Nesta’s heart fluttered at his words, ready to lean in for another kiss as a voice made her stomach stink, 

“Nesta Archeron! Get back here this instant!” Her grandmother yelled making Nesta suck in a breath. No. Anyone, but her. 

Nesta tried her best not to flinch away from her grandmother as she charged up the hill, Cassian throwing his body protectively in front of Nesta, baring his teeth slightly as her grandmother reared her cane at Cassian as Nesta lurched forward taking the brunt of it as pian exploded in her skull and she heard Cassian cry out as her grandmother jerked her up roughly, her grip tight enough to bruise as she grasped Nesta’s hair pulling it so hard that Nesta was amazed she hadn’t ripped any strands out in the process. 

“Get your hands off her!” Cassian yelled, lurching forward to try and grab Nesta back as her grandmother hit Cassian across the face with her cane a crunch sounding from his nose as a scream ripped Nesta’s lips. 

“Take this as a lesson, girl.” Her grandmother breathed out, her grip so tight that Nesta couldn’t escape it, “Take this as a lesson that every time you disobey us, there will be consequences.” 

Her grandmother lashed her cane at Cassian’s back making him cry out in pain, collapsing to the ground in agony as her grandmother spat at him in disgust, as if he were nothing but garbage. 

“If I figured you have done anything to deflower my granddaughter and upheave her place in society, I will come after you and make sure you know exactly how much you don’t mess with the Archerons. I will make sure you remember your place.” Her grandmother growled at him jerking Nesta down the hill after her as Nesta turned her head back to Cassian meeting his eyes as terror filled them. 

Nesta was thrown into the carriage, her grandmother beside her as Nesta winced at the impact, a scowl etched at her face. 

“Just wait until your mother hears about this. It is up to her to pick your punishment, but just hope you didn’t give that boy everything or else it’ll be a lot worse for you.” 

She had not given her body to Cassian, she had known how much danger he would be in if she had, but she had allowed his tongue to taste her. to indulge in the part she so desperately wanted to give him, and she had returned the favor for him, but they had never gotten past that, him knowing she wanted to wait until they were married to do so, but she would not tell her grandmother that. Would refuse to tell her grandmother and mother just how far her and Cassian's love had rooted within her. They did not deserve to know about a love so pure. 

When the carriage had made a full stop, Elain glanced up from her position in the gardens. An uneasy crossing her face as their grandmother got out of the carriage first, opening Nesta’s door and throwing her out into the nearest mud puddle making Nesta cough and sputter as mud filled her mouth and coated her face and body. 

Her grandmother’s harsh face sneared down at her in disgust, 

“You better get used to that if you continue letting that boy defile you. How many times have you let him in between those legs of yours Nesta. 

Nesta sputtered as the manor’s door opened and her mother grabbed her skirts crossing fiercely over to Nesta, the doctor and her father standing firmly by the door as her mother grabbed her by the arm, forcing her to follow her inside, 

“Tell me the truth and don’t you dare lie to me, have you let that man take you to his bed, Nesta?” 

Multiple times. Nesta wanted to shout, but the doctor would not know about Cassian’s multiple feastings upon her, as Nesta shook her head and her mother’s grip loosened slightly. 

“Than you wouldn’t mind the doctor checking to make sure your maiden head is in tack.” 

Nesta shook her head as Nesta made her way into the room, the doctor following her mother in as he gestured for Nesta to lay on the bed, examining as she sent a prayer of thanks to the heavens for the fact that Cassian had not feasted on her that day, leaving no traces that anything sexual had ever occurred between them as the doctor told her mother all that she wanted to know as Nesta let out a sigh and the doctor left the room, her mother offering her a thanks as Nesta sat up on the bed, 

“See. I did not do anything with him.” 

“Your grandmother said that she caught you laying with him.” Her mother challenged her eyes filled with fury. 

“That was all we were doing, we have not went further than that.” 

“I don’t believe that,. If you are lying with him then I have no doubt that you have let him taste your lips.” 

“Kisses are harmless, mother.” She tried to argue as she felt the sting a moment later where her mother’s hand had lashed out across her face before, she grasped her face forcing Nesta to look back at her, pinching her cheeks together as Nesta struggled to get out of her mother’s hold. 

“We both know what a kiss can lead to Nesta. Don’t be so ignorant you stupid, foolish girl.” She growled out, releasing Nesta as Nesta’s hand slid up to the pain in her cheeks. 

Her mother huffed out, pacing the floor in contemplation. 

“You will no longer see this boy, Nesta. Do you understand me?”: 

“No.” Nesta blurted out as her mother welled to her, grasping Nesta by the hair and throwing her to the ground as Nesta cried out in pain. 

“You will do as I say or i will lash him out of your system do you understand me?” 

Nesta nodded, her soft cries filling the room as her mother let out a breath, opening the window for her as she stared out of it, 

“What has that boy done to my obedient girl?” 

Nesta bit down on her lip, refusing to answer as her mother’s voice turned cold. ]

“You will not see that boy ever again my sweet. I know it will be painful, but once you are in the arms of your betrothed I doubt you’ll even remember his lips on yours.”  

“What?” Nesta inquired. 

“Your grandmother has found you a suitor, one of the families that will secure your position in society, sure he would love someone more obedient and will only see you as someone who will bare his children as soon as he beds you, but you will grown used to it. It’s for the best this way, my sweet, you’ll see.” Her mother said about to roam her hands over Nesta’s hair as Nesta flinched away from her. 

Her mother sighed as if Nesta was being the unreasonable one and stood, glancing down at her daughter with shame, 

“Put some makeup on your bruises before you meet the Vanserras. I wouldn’t want Eris to see his future betrothed and see an ounce of imperfection.” 

Nesta’s stomach sank at the name as she heard the door lock as Nesta swore the room lacked air. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t marry him when her heart belonged to another. 

Not thinking about it, Nesta waited until her mother’s steps retreated, as her eyes fell upon the open window her mother had not bothered to close as Nesta . made her way towards it, knowing that she had enough. She couldn’t marry Eris she absolutely refused to. 

She made the decision as easy as breathing as she went to her drawers, the money she had stashed there for emergencies still there as she stashed it in her bodice, her eyes glancing at the window, before hesitance passed by her.. Her sisters. Could she really leave them behind with the vipers in the house? 

She took in a deep breath, glancing out and still noticing Elain in her gardens. She had to talk to her. Had to make her understand that she couldn’t stay here, not when her mother wanted her to marry that wretched man. Not when if she didn’t do this she would never see Cassian again. 

She made sure no one else was around as she climbed out the window, her feet sinking in the soft grass of the gardens before she headed towards Elain, her gentle brown eyes, so much like their father’s, glanced up at Nesta in worry. 

“Nesta, are you alright?” Elain asked as Nesta spread her skirts, sitting beside her sister. 

“No, Elain. I don’t think I am.” She admitted, refusing to let the tears fall. 

“They found out about him, didn’t they?” She inquired.

Elain had known about Cassian, had wanted stories about her sisters escapades as she listened and smiled at the fortune her sister had managed to get in their life. 

“Yes.” Nesta told her, glancing down at her hands as Elain took them, 

“Then you must go to him, Nesta. You must get away from this place before they try to take what is most precious to you in this world.”  

Nesta glanced up at her sister, her blue-grey eyes meeting her sister’s brown ones as she said, 

“But you and Feyre-” 

“Will find a way, but I will never forgive myself if I knew you had a way out of this mess and I did nothing to encourage you to take it. I will protect Feyre and I, we already have a few plans in motion, but Nesta, take this opportunity or else there might not be one again. “ 

Nesta hugged her sister fiercely, as she whispered for her to go. With that one command, Nesta gathered her skirts, racing towards the one person who had truly ever made her feel safe and loved knowing that when she made it to him, she would never look back.  

[discoveriesoftheself]

Miss Della

Summary: Louie and Della have a major argument, and Louie goes to his safe space.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 998

Also Available On AO3 !!!

There was a quiet thump as Louie lay back on the surface of the roof. The stars shone brightly above him, and he sighed.

This was exactly why he avoided Della in the first place. And not just talking to her, but talking about her.

He hadn't even meant to start anything this time.

"Just go to bed, okay? And clean up your mess first! No tricking your siblings into doing it."

"Yes, Miss Della." He rolled his eyes, missing Della's expression getting even angrier than before.

"What did you just call me?"

Everything blurred after that. He meant to listen, really, he did. But she just kept yelling and no one was defending him and he didn't even know what he did wrong.

The next thing he knew, he was on the roof.

He always ended up here. Staring at the moon. He used to stare at it for hours, wishing Della would just come home. Now, though he'd never admit it out loud, he sometimes wished she'd go back.

Those thoughts didn't make him feel any better. What kind of son can't call his mother 'mom'? Or wishes she weren't even there?

He had gone to the roof that night to count. Maybe the stars he could see from there. Maybe the streetlights no less than a mile away. But it seemed the entire world was against him tonight, as the clouds were dense, and it was clear he wouldn't be seeing more than three feet in front of him for the rest of the night.

So he just layed there, looking for something, anything, to keep him calm. Every now and then his breath would hitch, and his hands would tighten around the fabric of his hoodie so tightly it hurt because the only thing that mattered was he didn't start crying again.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but all too soon he felt someone step onto the roof behind him.

"This isn't our room."

"Go away Holli." Louie drawled, covering his face with his arms.

"Lou… Come on. Talk to me."

"Why? So you can go tell mom and be her favourite kid? News flash, it's neither of us."

As a moment passed without an answer, Louie moved his arms, peeking through his hands at Holli, who was staring at him with some emotion he couldn't place. (Seriously, how did people just read faces???)

Whatever it was disappeared as faer face hardened. "Here," Holli tossed something towards him, (his phone, he realised) and he caught it haphazardly, eyes widening as he saw the number ready to call on the screen.

"I don't-"

"It's fine, L. I'm not gonna tell Mom." Fae smiled tensely as fae lowered faerself onto the roof, laying down next to him. "I'm not gonna pretend I understand, but you're my little brother. I trust you."

Unable to come up with an answer to that, Louie simply sighed.

"She's super mad at me, isn't she?"

Holli laughed quietly, "Majorly. She stormed around the main hall for 10 minutes before Donald got her to go to bed.

"And Dewey?" He asked quietly, his breathing turning a bit shaky when he didn't get an answer right away.

"He's just… really confused. He's so happy to have her back that he'd do anything to make her happy," Fae started carefully, "But we're triplets, Louie. I promise we're always gonna choose you, even if it might take Dewey a second to remember that.

Ignoring the stinging behind his eyes, he moved closer to Holli, laying his head on faer shoulder.

"Promise?" He whispered.

"Promise," Holli said. "Always."

"M'kay."

The two sat there for a few minutes, until Louie was mostly calm and Holli squeezed his hand, standing next to him.

"I gotta go before Dewey comes looking for us. I'll keep our window unlocked, but if you need me to cover for you tomorrow just text me, okay?"

Louie nodded. "Thanks, Holli."

He watched as Holli ducked back into the window, shutting it mostly behind them. Taking one more deep breath, he stood up, picking up his phone, and dialed the number.

The phone rang twice, being picked up before he got a chance to get anxious that she might not be awake. The line stayed silent, clearly waiting for him to say something.

"Aunt Goldie?" He said, cringing at how his voice cracked.

"Sharpie? You don't sound too happy."

He laughed through the tears that somehow found their way back to his eyes. "Yeah, thanks for noticing."

"No problem, kid. Now what do you need?" He smiled at the sarcasm in her voice.

"I was just wondering if uh-" He paused, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat. "Are you in town right now?"

"Do you need me to be?" She questioned.

"Not if you're busy, it's fine."

"Never too busy for you, you know that. Tell me what's up."

"Can you…"

He paused, looking back at the window as if someone would come looking for him. Seeing it empty, his face hardened.

"Can you please come get me?"

For a moment he hears nothing but the shuffling of papers and the clink of what he assumes are either keys or knives. (The fact that it could reasonably be either never fails to make him laugh.) After a minute of that, he hears the click of a door closing, and then footsteps.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, shut off the cameras and meet me at the front gate."

Feeling the tension leave his shoulders, he sighed. "Thank you"

"Anytime, Sharpie."

He lowered the phone, his finger hesitating over the 'End Call' button.

"Aunt Goldie?" He whispered, lifting the phone back to his ear.

"Yeah?"

"I uh… I love you."

He heard the crunching of the leaves stop on the other side of the phone, and then nothing for a minute.

"… Love you too kid. Now hurry up with those cameras."

He laughed again, easily this time. "I'm on it."

[ruminate88]

Digestive problems after emotional abuse:

I was completely in the dark about my digestive health…… When I was texting my ex Andrew, there was times he would ignore me for days or hours, but then always come back and act like everything was fine and so if I was out in public with family and Andrew was upsetting me, I would go to the bathroom to text him and find myself just in there forever, trying to find the right words to say to him, to express my feelings and try to make him understand me, but I know now he was NEVER going to understand me because he didn’t really care about me. He was just using me for my nudes..

And family would make comments to me like “Why do you take so long in the bathroom?” 😳😓😣 and of course I didn’t want to talk about Andrew to family because I knew they would want to see pictures of him and talk to him and meet him and I had already tried to meet Andrew’s family but he said he wasn’t ready yet. He said he wanted to “get to know me more, but he promised me he was going to introduce me to his mom and dad” and I was waiting so patiently……

so in using the bathroom during those times to text Andrew, I can’t really say I remember if my digestive health was doing good or not because my whole focus was on keeping peace with Andrew, keeping it a happy relationship and not pushing him away. Not upsetting him and making him ignore me again cuz every time he came back to me, I was more on eggshells wanting so bad to keep him!!!! because when he was actually spending time with me, I was so happy and I didn’t want the happiness to end, but it always did!!! 😔💔

Also, I don’t like to talk about Jake much because it’s just too much, but Jake for YEARS was very critical of me most of the time always showing up after a break up pretending to be my “friend” who cares so much about me but yet he was consistently putting me down and I didn’t know why he was bullying me so much. So of course that kept me in survival mode. I just didn’t understand it back then.

Not until I’ve blocked Andrew AND Jake, got married to a guy nice and then Covid happened, then my eyes opened to the fact that I had been losing hair and that it’s like my gut just gave way. I started to have so much burning in my esophagus and no one knew why…… I randomly lost over 25 pounds within two weeks!! I tried to seek out a doctor, but it was during Covid and so it was hard to see a doctor in person and I started trying different medicines and of course I couldn’t eat so I lost even more weight!!! (I wasn’t a big person to start with)

After I learned about emotional abuse and learned about “flight or fight mode”, “survival mode” and then what happens when you get out of that and start to relax. Your body basically stops tightening so much and can make your gut relax but also give way. (I can’t explain it, I’m not a health expert so don’t just take my advice only. This is what what I’ve experienced.) anyway, I then began to treat myself a little differently now that I know that it’s most likely digestive issues.

i’ve started taking various vitamins, including magnesium citrate. I’m taking it in a powder form where you pour it into water and drink it, and that has helped a lot, and I was taking a probiotic digestive gummy, which I didn’t realize how much it was helping until I stopped taking it and now suddenly I’m having digestive issues again… coincidence much? For the most part, I’ve been able to eat whatever I want, but within reason, and there is certain foods, I’ve stayed away from as they are very hard to digest.

I’ve seen videos of testimonials where women say they got “sick” after or during emotional abuse but when they go to the doctor, the doctor can not find anything wrong with them … so that also makes me question IF a doctor would even find anything wrong with me or is this truly psychological? You know the body, soul and mind is all one. So your body reacts to your mindset. I’ve tried to think positively towards my body. Tried to free my mind to let myself think that I’m OK and that nothing is wrong with me but whenever I have “flareups” which is rare because I have kept my gut health under control, but the flareups are painful when they happen. It’s just so upsetting and I can’t eat. I’m sluggish too.

my only advice for right now, is to not give up. Hope to keep going on your healing journey keep growing and learning, releasing the trauma, forgiving the past and yourself learning to trust yourself again, which is a really hard one for me and having self-control in your diet. If you know, certain foods are only going to hurt your stomach, then as much as you want to eat them, maybe you shouldn’t. but this is just me. I’m not a doctor so I can’t really tell you what to do. Every person is different.

also I seen a video the other day where somebody said they rubbed some kind of magnesium oil on their feet before they went to bed and that it really helped their digestive a lot. I haven’t looked it up yet, but I am curious as to if that’ll be better than the powder form, I’m taking currently.

Praying too is sometimes hard cuz you carry so much shame and weight from the past and you feel disconnected from self and God but praying over your stomach and laying your hand on the parts of you where you believe the trauma is stored. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I’m not crazy and you’re not crazy. Your stomach hurts and people have accused me of purposely losing weight. Idk if they think I’m trying to be “vain” or what but it’s no so 🥺🥺🥺 I didn’t ask to be a skeleton, it just happened….