#also every time i got them tightened my mom would take me to get a strawberry fudge cheesecake blizzard from DQ down the street

[willowfey]

i had weird dreams about traveling through dimensions on halloween to old familiar streets of my hometown but having everything be different because i was slightly off in my calculations so the colours were distorted and the houses were rearranged but the smell was still the same. then i woke up with visceral memories clouding my head of going to get my braces tightened each month and getting the colour changed according to the season/holiday.

[readwritealldayallnight]

“-and every year after that, we always had double chocolate chip cookies instead of regular chocolate chip. Made me stand out at the school bakes sales, too! And I would beg and beg and beg my mom to make them before any other sweets-”

“Got my stomach grumblin’ over here now, love.” Simon cuts off your rambling with a loving chuckle. The first winter’s snow began falling from the sky in London that morning, and you’d been eager to tell your lover about the traditions you’d had growing up around this time of year.

“Well imagine how I felt, Si!” You say with a giggle, patting his stomach in emphasis. “I swear, it’s become a true Pavlovian response, I see the first snowflakes and I instantly start craving those cookies again. Like when I was little…”

Simon sees the melancholic smile playing across your lips, and he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that first chance he gets, he’ll be ringing your mum to get said recipe from her.

And if you walk into your shared flat a few days later, the smell of burnt something wafting through the air, fire alarm beeping incessantly, coming upon a flustered looking 6’4” behemoth of a man swatting a flowery dish towel through the air in attempt to dissipate the smoke coming from the oven, well, the sentiment behind your lover wanting to surprise you with your favourite treat from childhood is a thousand times sweeter than the cookie itself.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Ooh, look at those ones over there!” You exclaim, tightening your grip on Simon’s arm. You’re both strolling through a local farmers market on a dreary Sunday afternoon with nothing better to do. Your free hand points towards a stall selling beautifully intricate bouquets of flowers. “They’re so pretty for this late in the season.”

Simon is glancing over at the stall, minutely nodding in agreement, before his gaze shifts back to the crowd.

“Want one?”

“Oh, no, that’s okay. Just thought they looked nice. We don’t need any.” You say, leading him past the stall, not noticing when he glances back over his shoulder to remember the name written at the top of the display.

Once back home, upon hearing your gasp of surprise followed by what he recognizes now as your excited squeal, he smirks to himself in the other room, knowing you’ve stumbled upon the bouquet he had delivered during your nap.

What you don’t know is that he’s already set it up so that you’ll be receiving a new fresh set of flowers every week now, delivered straight to your front steps.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Really wasn’t that bad this time around, promise.” You mumble into his firm chest, his muscular arms holding you there as you snuggle on the couch. He got back from a two week deployment last night, and you’re still catching him up on everything he missed. “I made a point of going outside everyday, for a change of scenery at least.”

“Tha’s good, lovie.” He whispers, running his digits through the strands of your hair, careful not to tug any time he runs into knot, instead gently trying to comb it out himself.

“Not like I was all alone, anyhow.” You say with a small giggle, biting your lip. He finds himself answering with his own lighthearted chuckle, sitting up straighter to glance at the table over your shoulder. “Gave me something to look forward to each day, feeding the lil’ guy.”

“Was hoping it’d be a nice surprise for ya. Not another chore…”

“Oh, Goldie’s not a chore.” You laugh, swatting at Simon’s chest. You also take the time to glance over at the goldfish in question, swimming in the small circular fish bowl that Simon had somehow snuck into the flat the day before he left. He hated the idea of leaving you alone all the time, never knowing when he’d have a chance to speak on the phone, and he didn’t want to burden you with a larger, more high maintenance animal like a dog or cat. And so, Goldie was brought home.

“Although, I’m worried maybe he’s getting lonely when I’m out of the house. Might have to get him a friend.”

Simon doesn’t even try to hide the corny grin that spreads across his face.

“Have I ever told you the joke about the two goldfish in a tank?”

[pickingupmymercedes]

It's not just a win - Lewis Hamilton NSFW

The 104th win Special - He's bloody done it ❤️

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: unprotected sexual activities.

Also, wrap it before you tap it guys

wordcount: +2K

a/n: Don't have anything to say really. I don't even think this gets close to putting to paper what it meant. To him. To us. But I also think it's going to take time for us to really understand how much this win meant.

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT

______________________________________________________________

Y/n stirred gently in the early morning light, the soft glow of dawn filtering through the slits on the window of the motorhome. She blinked sleepily, her eyes slowly adjusting to the soft, golden hues that bathed the room.

The warmth from the arms around her brought a lazy smile to her lips, and as she turned, she saw Lewis lying awake, staring at the ceiling with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Good morning, GP winner" she murmured, her voice still husky with sleep.

Lewis turned his head towards her, a content smile capturing his features as he returned from whatever world had been occupying his mind. "Good morning, love" he replied softly.

Y/n scooted closer, her arm draping over his chest, her head resting on his shoulder as he embraced her tight. She could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat pick up as she looked back up at him " Wanna debrief?" her voice gentle and inviting.

Lewis sighed, his eyes gazing into hers, searching for the right words. "Just...thinking about everything," he admitted. "Yesterday was...a lot."

Y/n nodded, encouraging him to continue. She knew that he needed this, a chance to make sense of his emotions out loud.

"There were moments in the past few years when I doubted myself," he began, a low rumble in his chest. "That maybe I couldn’t do it anymore. That I should have retired. It felt like I would never win again. But then...yesterday."

"I thought I had healed from 2021" Lewis admitted for the first time to her, his voice low and hesitant. "I know I always told everyone I was through. And maybe I had tried to convince myself I had. But standing on that podium yesterday… I still have so much to give."

He paused, taking a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts. "I’m not one to accept love easily… you know that” he almost whispered shaking his head a bit as you lowly chuckled “But these past years… the energy and support people have given me. I couldn’t… I can’t let that go unnoticed.”

Y/n traced small circles on his chest, her touch soothing and grounding. "What makes you think that?" she asked softly.

"I kept catching myself thinking about Abu Dhabi," his voice barely above a whisper. "About how close… how everything just...slipped away. It felt like...like I had failed. Like I had let everyone down." He sighed, a deep, shuddering breath. "I just...I needed this. I needed to win. To prove to myself that I still can."

Y/n tightened her embrace, her heart aching for him. "You deserve every bit of love you receive, Lew." Her hand going to trace the lines of his cheeks where his beard started. “And I’m sure people don’t expect anything more than the best you can do. And I know you always try and give your best.

Lewis nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I know. I know. But I could always fight on track those who doubted... and then when I couldn’t…" he shook his head looking away. “Finally winning again. At home, with everyone there, my mom, my dad, my family. You. It was...overwhelming. I sobbed when I got out of the car. I couldn't help it. It was like everything I’d been holding in just poured out because I knew I had proven myself. That I had shown everyone what you all believed in... even when I doubted it"

Y/n sat up a bit to reach for his face in her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze. "There will always be challenges, always be obstacles. But you’ve proven time and time again that you can overcome them. You have an incredible strength, Lewis. And you don’t have to face them all alone. I’m here. Your family is here. Your team is here. And we’re always going to believe in you." she said honestly.

Lewis smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that reached his eyes "It felt like...like a new beginning. Like maybe, just maybe, I’m finally starting to heal." he said softly.

"It's not just a win, is it?"

He looked at her, his eyes glistening with tears. "No" he sighed; his voice thick with emotion. "It's...closure? Proof that I'm not finished. Not just yet."

Y/n agreed. "You can finally let go of the past now … or at least put it in its place."

He nodded, a sense of peace settling over him. "Thank you. For everything. For being here, for believing in me."

"Always," she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I’ll always be here." she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his neck.

Lewis angled his head slightly, meeting her lips with his own. The kiss was tender at first, a sweet affirmation to her, but it quickly deepened. His hand found its way to her hair, tangling in the soft strands as he pulled her closer.

Y/n responded eagerly, her hands roaming over his chest and shoulders, feeling the heat of his skin through the fabric of his shirt. She pressed her body to his side, savoring the feel of his warmth and his muscles.

The kisses grew frantic and soon they were wrapped up in each other, lost in the moment.

Y/n felt Lewis's hand slip under the hem of her shirt, his fingers tracing patterns on her skin. She arched against him.

When she felt his hand move lower, sliding towards the waistband of her underwear, she pulled back slightly, breathless. "Do we have time?" she asked, her voice a husky whisper. "You’re supposed to head to the factory this morning."

Lewis looked at her through hooded dark eyes "They can wait" his voice rough with desire. "I feel like celebrating a bit more." Y/n smiled, a slow, sensual curve of her lips, and leaned in to capture his mouth in another searing kiss.

But just as their lips met again, a sudden bark from the foot of the bed pulled them back to reality. They both glanced down to see Roscoe looking rather annoyed and impatient. His expressive eyes, almost accusing, seemed to say "Are you two quite finished?"

Lewis chuckled, the sound vibrating through Y/n’s chest. "Looks like someone needs to go to the bathroom" he said with a grin, his fingers gently brushing Y/n’s cheek.

Y/n laughed softly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before sitting up. "Duty calls, go one dad, we’ll resume after" her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Lewis gave her a playful nudge before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Alright, buddy, let’s get you sorted" he said, his tone affectionate as he leaned down to give the bulldog a scratch behind the ears.

When he returned the sounds of running water drew his attention, and he made his way to the bathroom, a soft smile on his lips.

He found Y/n in the shower, the steam curling around her, obscuring his view. And as the mist cleared, he could see her silhouette through the glass door, the water cascading over her body. She glanced back through the glass, catching him watching her.

"Enjoying the view?" she asked teasingly, her voice thick with amusement.

Lewis chuckled, leaning against the doorframe. "Very much," he replied, his voice low and warm. Y/n turned to slide open the box door, her expression softening. "Care to join me?"

He didn’t need to be asked twice. Quickly shedding his clothes, he stepped into the shower, the hot water immediately welcoming him.

They stood there for a moment, letting the water pour over them, washing away the remnants of the previous day.

He was the first to reach out, his fingers gently trailing along Y/n’s arm, marveling at her. She almost felt exposed at his gaze, but the way his eyes held her captivated had her forget everything but him.

She stepped closer until their bodies were pressed together and he dipped his head, capturing her lips in a tender kiss, their movements slow and deliberate. A rhythm that was achingly familiar although their hands explored each other’s bodies like they had to reach every bit of skin they were yet to memorize.

Y/n’s fingers traced the lines of his muscles, her touch light and loving. Lewis mirrored her actions, his hands caressing her curves, his touch both soothing and electrifying.

The water continued to cascade over them, a warm, comforting presence that seemed to heighten every sensation. Y/n tilted her head back, her eyes fluttering shut as Lewis kissed a path down her neck, his lips leaving a trail of electricity.

"I love you " she breathed, her hands tangling in his loose braids as she pulled him closer.

"I love you" he whispered back against her skin; his voice filled with emotion.

They lost themselves in each other, the world outside the shower fading into insignificance. The water poured over them, mingling with the soft sighs and whispers that filled the small space.

When Lewis’s hands found Y/n’s waist, he pulled her flush against him as he kissed her deeply. She responded, her body arching into his, seeking more of his touch. They savored the moment, the feeling of being so close, so connected.

Y/n's hand slid down his chest, her fingertips tracing the hard planes of his muscles. Her touch was electric to his skin.

She reached his half-hard erection, her fingers wrapping around him with a gentle but firm grip. She began to pump him slowly, her movements teasing and deliberate. Lewis groaned softly into her mouth, both of his hand finding her waist. Her pumping combined with the hot water cascading over their bodies was almost overwhelming. He responded by pressing her against the cool tile wall, his lips never leaving hers.

With one hand still wrapped around his length, Y/n used her free hand to anchor herself against his shoulder. Lewis lifted one of her legs, creating better access to her core. He positioned himself at her entrance, his eyes locking onto hers.

"You ready?" he whispered, his voice a low rumble.

Y/n nodded; her pupils wildly dilated. "Yeah" she breathed.

Lewis kissed her deeply, his tongue tangling with hers to muffle her moans as he slowly entered her. The sensation was almost too much, her walls stretching to accommodate him. He paused, holding himself still to regain control, feeling her warmth envelop him.

She gasped into his mouth, her breath hitching as he filled her completely. He waited a moment, allowing her to adjust, before he began to move. Each thrust was slow and measured, his lips still pressed against hers to keep their sounds low to possible bypassers around the motorhomes.

Y/n's nails dug into his shoulders as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her body arching to meet his movements. She bit down gently on the soft spot where his neck met his collarbone, making him wince in pain and pleasure.

The rhythm between them became more urgent, their need for each other driving them on. Lewis groaned softly, his grip on her tightening as he lifted her other leg, supporting her entirely against the wall.

The change in angle allowed him to penetrate even deeper, eliciting a moan from Y/n that he quickly swallowed with another kiss.

As he felt her walls start to flutter, he pulled out to turn her in his embrace, her back pressing against his chest as she moaned in protest. He entered her from behind, the new position allowing him to reach even deeper.

One of his hands slid around to hold her close by her lower abdomen, pressing into the spot where he could feel himself pushing into her.

Y/n's head fell back against his shoulder, her moans growing louder despite their attempts to stay quiet. Lewis kissed along her neck, his other hand moving down to flicker at her clit with precise, deliberate movements.

"I'm so close" she whimpered, her body trembling.

Lewis's own control was slipping, the sensation of her tight around him driving him closer to his own orgasm "Let go" he whispered against her ear. "I've got you."

With a final thrust, he felt her walls clench around him as she saw white. Her body convulsed; her cries muffled by how she bit on the skin of his neck, her head hanging on his shoulders. The mix of her walls and the biting of his skin triggered his own release, a wave that left him shaking.

They held each other close when he pulled out and turned her on his arms, his forehead resting against hers. "Hi there gorgeous" he murmured when she opened her eyes to look at him, his breath still coming in ragged gasps.

Y/n smiled; her eyes glimmering with satisfaction. "You’re handsome too" she joked, chuckling softly.

They stayed like that for a few moments longer, savoring the intimacy of the moment and the water falling on them. Finally, Y/n reached out and turned off the shower, the sudden silence almost deafening after the steady sound of running water.

Lewis grabbed a towel, wrapping it around Y/n before pulling her into his arms. "I think that’s the best way to start the day," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her damp hair.

Y/n leaned into him, her heart swelling with love. "Couldn’t agree more. Now go, they’re waiting for their champion."

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28

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[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ Ending 2 ~ 60

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,660ish

Summary: Life continues to move along, as does Logan's feelings.

Notes: Things are moving along! Please share reactions! 

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks!

“So, where are you thinking of applying?” You asked Laura as the two of you got ready to bed.

“Columbia and NYU,” Laura admitted, though you could hear her hesitation.

“Those aren’t far.”

“Well, I’m not willing to go far.”

“Laura—“

“No, mom. I want to go to college so I will, but I will not be going too far from you.”

Your heart swelled with pride. Yes, you hated that you felt like you were holding Laura back, but you were so proud of the woman she was becoming.

“I’m also thinking of getting a job,” Laura continued. “I don’t want all of my tuition to be on you.”

“I don’t mind, kiddo,” you told her. “You’re my daughter and I’m here to help. If you want me to be able to let you help me, you have to do the same.”

“Okay.”

You pulled her in for a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, mom… I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.”

You kissed her temple as you pulled away. “Wanna have a slumber party tonight? Whip out a movie?”

“I’d love to. I’ll get the popcorn started.”

“And I’ll get the bed together.”

~~~

Logan had never been this nervous before, but for some reason he kept checking to make sure he looked presentable as he headed for your work. It was Logan’s turn to walk you home and he hadn’t gotten a chance to since he had started feeling different or enhanced emotions towards you. He didn’t know what these feelings meant or how to even handle them. He’d never felt emotions like these before, even with his original you.

With his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, Logan made his way down the street with a long stride. He wanted to get to the bar before it closed to help you clean up. You had been taking better care of yourself as well as letting others help you, no matter how hard it was for you. But Logan could still see the pain shining behind your eyes and he would do what he could to help.

When he entered the bar, Logan’s eyes immediately found you standing behind the counter. Though you were worn out from a long night of work, Logan felt like his breath was taken away at the sight of you. That had been happening more and more lately, how he found you gorgeous in every situation. Logan finally got his feet moving again, heading straight for you.

“Hey, doll,” he greeted, slipping into a stool in front of you.

“Logan,” you smiled at him. “You’re early.”

“Wanted to give you a hand in closing.”

You shook your head. “You don’t need to. I can do it.”

“I know. But I wanted to.”

Your chest tightened at the idea that Logan just wanted to help you. It wasn’t something new. He had done that basically since the day you met, but you would never get used to it. Especially after the years you had spent talking care of everyone else. Not that you minded taking care of others, it was just different to remember how to let others help you.

“What can I help you with?” He asked.

“Uh, I guess, uh, can you grab a rag and wipe down the empty tables?”

“Of course.”

“They’re back here and there’s cleaner with them.”

“Okay.” 

Logan slipped off the stool and quickly got to work. You finished up helping the last few customers, closing out their tabs, and then locking the door and turning off the open sign. 

“Do the chairs and stools need to be stacked?” Logan asked, wiping them down as well as he moved from table to table.

“Yeah, on the tables and bar,” you replied.

Logan nodded and began putting the stools and chairs up. You focused on closing out the register and doing the dishes while Logan finished wiping everything down, sweeping, and mopping. Your closing duties were done in half the time, which you were grateful for.

“Thank you for helping me,” you told Logan as the two of you headed back to the apartments.

“Anytime, doll,” he answered.

You bit your bottom lip at the term of endearment and focused your attention on the path ahead. “How was work today?”

“Fine,” he shrugged.

“Yeah? Make any friends yet?”

“Don’t need to. Just workin’ on cars.”

“We’ve had this discussion, Logan. Friends are good for you.”

“I have friends, just not at work.”

“Who?”

“Wade.”

You laughed. “I can’t believe that you’re admitting that.”

“Better not find out that you told him.”

“Yeah?” You looked over at him with a hint of mischief. “And what would happen if I told him?”

“I don’t think you want to know, darlin’.”

You hummed. “Well, maybe I’ll just have to tell Wade and see what happens.”

“Try it.”

“Okay.” 

Suddenly, you were running down the street. It took a second for Logan’s mind to catch up with what you were doing. 

“Hey! Wait!” He shouted after you. “Y/N!”

You laughed. “Gotta catch me before I tell Deadpool that Wolverine thinks they’re friends!”

Logan was able to catch up with you quickly, hooking his arms around you and pulling you back into him. Both of you were laughing in front of the apartment building as Logan held you close to him.

“Got you,” he chuckled, his lips brushing against your ear.

The close proximity had you catching your breath. Your laughter slowly faded as you tried to recall the last time you laughed and felt relaxed the way you just did. It had been far too long.

“You alright?” Logan noticed the shift and reluctantly let you go.

“Nothing,” you shook your head, unwilling to meet his gaze. “I’m fine.”

His brows pinched together as his concern grew. “I don’t believe it, darlin’. Talk to me.”

You sighed, keeping your eyes down. “It’s just… thank you.”

Those were not the words that Logan was expecting to hear. “For what?”

“For taking care of me and Laura. For making me smile and laugh. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this relaxed… like I’m not surviving, but… living. You’ve been a big part in that. And I just need to thank you.”

Logan thought he could melt right there. Everything he had ever done for you was always worth it, but now he felt like it was worth it times a million now. He was actually helping, making a positive difference, and it was for you.

“You’re, uh, welcome,” he mumbled, nervously. “But it’s all really no big deal.”

“It is to me,” you responded.

The two of you stood there, a thick awkward silence falling between you. Neither of you knew what to do or say next. Logan suddenly broke the tension by clearing his throat and scratching the back of his neck.

“We should, uh, get home,” Logan said.

“Yeah,” you nodded. You took a step forward and winced.

Logan was quickly at your side, a hand to the small of your back. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. Are you hurt?”

“I guess that I shouldn’t have ran like I did. Haven’t done that in a while.”

“So you’re in pain?”

“It’s not bad, Logan. I can— ah!” Logan swept you up into his arms and headed into the apartment complex. “I can walk.”

“Not until we get some medicine in you, darlin’.”

You sighed, allowing yourself to relax against him. It wasn’t worth arguing with him. Logan carried you to your apartment.

“I need you to put me down now, Logan,” you said. “I need to unlock the door and I don’t want to worry Laura.”

“Fine,” he huffed.

Logan set you down but kept a hand on your back. He leaned over and pushed the door open as soon as you unlocked it. Laura was working on the laptop at the kitchen table when the to of you walked in. She had taken to staying up, waiting for you, too. 

“Hey, mom,” she greeted. “Logan. Thanks for getting her home safely.”

“No problem, kid,” he responded with a nod.

“I’m not a child, you know,” you commented, rolling your eyes. “But I am tired.” You turned and set your hand on Logan’s arm, rubbing your thumb against his jacket. “Thanks again, Lo.” You turned and walked to Laura, kissing her head. “Goodnight, kiddo.”

The two watched as you disappeared down the hall and into your bedroom. 

“Do you need anything, kid, before I head out?” Logan wondered.

“I heard the two of you,” she stated quietly.

“What?”

“The window was open. I heard the two of you laughing.” Logan nodded, opting to remain silent to let Laura continue. “Thank you. I don’t think I’ve heard her laugh before like that… But… be careful. Don’t hurt her.”

“I’d never do that.”

“That’s what my father said, yet he still did.”

“What do you mean?”

Laura sighed. “Please don’t tell her I said anything… He left her and took Charles when he had his first seizure… Mom told me that he promised that she’d never be homeless like she was before everything. She ended up homeless and alone until she found him again… All I’m asking is for you to not make promises that you can’t keep. Don’t make promises and then walk away. She won’t be able to survive it again.”

Logan was taken by surprise. He clearly didn’t know your whole story, which was fine, but he had put your husband—the other him—on this pedestal. Though it was clear that he had even let you down at one point or another. He wasn’t going to let himself to the same thing.

~~~

“Alright! I’ve got the popcorn!” Wade exclaimed as he plopped down in the chair beside the couch. 

You were already sitting down, curled up with a blanket with Laura on one side of you. Logan walked into the room and noticed that there was an empty spot on the other side of you. He wanted to sit by you but he didn’t know if he should.

“Peanut!” Wade shouted as he reached over and patted the open seat next to you. “Saved you a spot.”

Logan’s eyes flickered your way to see you already looking at him with a soft smile. Tension eased from his shoulders as he walked over and sat beside you. He squished himself into the arm, trying not to overcrowd you.

“I’ve chosen the best movie for tonight!” Wade continued. “It’s a love story. There’s a bit of time travel. And a handsome hunk of a man.”

“What’s the movie?” You giggled at Wade.

“Kate and Leopold.”

“Never heard of it.”

“It’s probably trash,” Laura commented. “Wade never picks good movies.”

Wade gasped dramatically, hand falling over his heart. “You wound me, Little Wolf! I only choose masterpieces! And you will see that this is no exception.” 

Wade quickly clicked the movie on and flipped the lights off. You glanced over at Logan, noticing that he seemed to be awkwardly pushing himself into the corner. You leaned over.

“I don’t bite,” you whispered.

“What?” Logan’s head snapped to look at you.

“You’re sitting so far away. Relax. I’m not scared of a little touch. Here.” You tugged at his arm and he moved closer to you. Then you untucked the large blanket that was laying on top of you and Laura and laid it on Logan’s lap. “There. All better.”

“Thanks,” Logan muttered.

The four of you fell silent as your focuses fell to the movie. You were enjoying the movie, but you couldn’t help but think that the actor playing Leopold—Hugh Jackman—was cute.

“Hey!” Wade suddenly interrupted. “Don’t you think that that Hugh Jackman guy looks like our Peanut here?”

“Oh my gosh,” you mumbled, eyes widening.

“What?” Logan questioned, confused. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Yeah, okay, he has less hair in this and is definitely skinnier, but the two of you could be twins!” Wade continued.

“I’m sorry, Lo,” you said, placing a hand on his arm. “I’m afraid Wade is right.”

“See!”

“Whatever,” Logan scoffed. “Just watch the movie.”

The movie continued with Wade’s comments here and there. Your eyes began to grow tired and your bead began to bob. Logan noticed. His arm slipped onto the back of the couch as he leaned close to your ear.

“It’s okay, darlin’,” he whispered. “Just relax and fall asleep.”

“I’m not tired,” you mumbled, words slurring.

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle quietly. “Bullshit. Just lean back and fall asleep.”

After a moment, you nodded and allowed yourself to lean against Logan. It didn’t take long before you were sound asleep against him. Logan kept his arm along the back of the couch until your body began slipping and he quickly wrapped his arm around you to keep you still. You needed your sleep, Logan knew that, and he wasn’t going to allow anything to get in your way.

You slept through the rest of the movie, snuggled into Logan’s side. When the movie ended, Laura got up and moved to stand in front of you.

“I can take her,” Laura offered quietly.

“I got it,” Logan responded. He carefully maneuvered you into his arms and stood up. Laura led the way as Logan carried you to bed. He tucked you in and pressed a light kiss to your forehead. “Sleep well, doll.” 

Logan walked out, wishing Laura goodnight, and headed for the roof. He lit a cigar and let it sit between his lips. It was beginning to dawn on him that the emotions he was feeling and the thoughts he was having meant that his feelings for you were growing more romantically. Logan didn’t want to push you into something, especially as it was clear that you were still dealing with the love and loss of your husband. Your wedding ring never left your finger and the dog tags rarely left your neck. He also hated the idea of losing your friendship. The two of you were finding something new in your friendship and Logan was enjoying it. 

Despite whatever may come of Logan’s emotions, he knew one thing for sure. Logan wasn’t going to walk away from what he found here with you, Laura, and Wade.

~~~

Logan was tired as he trudged into the apartment after work the next day. When he opened the apartment, Logan found Wade preparing his weapons as he stood in the center of the room with his Deadpool suit on.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Logan asked.

“I have a possible lead on something that could help our Little Flame,” Wade stated, focusing on his task to prepare his weapons.

“What? And you were just gonna leave?”

“Awe, so glad to know that you’d miss me, Peanut. But I did leave a wonderful note on your pillow with a few pictures of me just in case.”

“Wilson. What did you find?”

“Nope, my lips are sealed.” He pretended to zip up his lips and throw away the key. 

“Well then just wait and I’ll go with you.”

“No can do, Peanut. You need to stay with Little Wolf and Buttercup. They need to be watched over in my absence and you, though you are not that qualified, are the only one I trust.”

“Fine. Can you at least tell me what you’re chasing after?”

“You can’t get their hopes up. But I’ve been doing some digging and I’m going back to the TVA. There are more Y/N’s out there and at least one of them has to have dealt with a similar issue. I’m gong to do my research and see what can be done.”

“Wow… that plan’s not terrible.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence, Peanut.”

“Keep me in the loop.”

“I will try. And don’t let our Mama and Daughter Duo get into too much trouble. I won’t be long.”

“Good luck, Wade.”

next chapter >

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 90 (Under Pressure)

cw: a bit of coarse language from River, it's just his voice.

Light snow fell over Sable Square on this sunny winter morning, and Conrad tensed his shoulders as he opened the front door. But his best friend and future brother-in-law stood before him, and Conrad relaxed as he stepped out to greet him.

"Hey Riv. What are you doing here? We're gonna be in Henford in two days."

"I'm off for a few weeks with Cass and baby Sammy, but I wanted to talk when we weren't surrounded by family," River said. "Everyone's kinda worried about you, you know."

"Everything's fine. Work's just a little stressful right now."

"Yeah? Those security cameras are pretty intense. You've got that restraining order, and Hazel said you guys brought home a ghost from your date last night...?"

"He's not a ghost anym- Is there anything your family doesn't talk about with each other?"

"Not really, but you knew that already. Are my sister and her kids in some kind of danger?"

Conrad shook his head stiffly. "No."

River studied him. "That's good, because you know if you put a Landgraab in danger, that old bitch who hates my sister will probably have you killed."

He laughed a little but wasn't kidding, and Conrad shifted uncomfortably. "I've got to get to work soon, but come on in for a few minutes."

River followed him inside and greeted Gord with a smile. "You're also about to miss the deadline for our fantasy sportsball league."

"I completely forgot that was this week. I'm sorry. Maybe I should skip it this time around. My head's kind of jammed lately. I haven't even kept up on offseason trades."

"Dude, you're not okay at all. You're the first one in every season..."

"Riv, I just have a lot going on." He tried, but failed, to bottle his frustration with himself, but his reply came out terse and unwelcoming. If everyone could see his stress, he wasn't managing his secrets, but he didn't mean to take it out on River. "Sorry."

"It's alright...I brought the number for that ring designer you asked for, too." He paused, and Conrad didn't fill the silence. "You should go see Cass' mom. Every time she calls, she says how stressed you are. Cass thinks she talks like you're one of her kids, but that's Bella Goth for you - everyone's family to her. Besides, you and my sister have gotten into some real Goth-flavoured shit the last couple years, so it's no wonder she's started thinking of you like family."

Conrad laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "Maybe it's just a Brindleton Bay thing for everyone in town to pick up strays. How are you doing? How's Michael adjusting to having a new baby at home?"

"Michael loves Sammy, but he doesn't understand why the baby just stares at him so far."

"Ash was like that. Now Lavender tries babbling with him and he's a lot more interested. Seeing them together kinda makes me wish I had a sibling or two."

"Dude, you've got plenty these days." River stood from the sofa and tightened his scarf. "Listen, I'll get going. I told Cass I'd stop in to see her mother before I left town, myself. It'll be great to see you this weekend, and just...take it easy, okay? No case is more important than my sister and those kids."

"They're my entire world, man. If they're ever in danger, I'll do anything to keep them safe. Thank you for coming by, but I'm handling the stress. I swear to the Watcher."

River leaned in for a hug before they both left the house on Sable Square. He thought about their conversation the whole way to the precinct, about Heather's suspicions, needy Ximena, and angry old George Brindleton. By the time Conrad made it to work, he felt like his heart could explode from his chest.

He made a beeline for the break room and hit redial on the unlisted number he knew would be Ximena. This time, she picked up after only two rings.

"Conrad, do you need me?"

"Where's your brother?" He kept his voice low to ensure no one might overhear if they walked in the room.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have found you to ask for help."

"You found me before you said he went missing. What did you want then? Just me, right? Then what? Things start to go a little sideways with the cartel and you remember I said I'd help you if you ever left, the day I finally left you? But you never left, did you? When's the last time you worked for Los Tigres?"

"Four months ago."

"You and Jimmy, huh. How did it go?"

"It should have gone better!"

"Did they take your brother?"

"It's possible."

"Ximena, I can't do this. I can't help you. I've got kids. I'm not getting mixed up with you and that world again. When it might've been some degenerates trying to mess with the cartel, it was different."

"So you're just going to let them do whatever they want with him? Like they did with me before I took my future into my own hands?"

"You figured out how to beat the cartel at their own game once. If you're really against them and this isn't another lie, do it again for your brother. I'm not going to start investigating the cartel just because they've cut you out after too many bad deliveries." She stammered, and Conrad sighed. "Did you not think I'd read your file after you found me again? You don't even know that's who took Rafa."

"So you're really out? Even though it's Rafa." The sweet voice she put on for him had disappeared.

"Good luck, Ximena. I'm out."

He shook from a mix of anger and guilt when he hung up the phone and blocked her latest number. He was angry at her, but angrier at himself for letting it get this far. To never see her again wouldn't trouble him, but the mystery of Rafa's disappearance wouldn't be so easy to leave behind.

Yet River was right, as usual. He had to let it go. Heather and his family deserved his attention more than Ximena. More than Rafa.

He changed into shorts and a t-shirt and found one of the punching bags unoccupied in the upstairs gym. He funnelled a torrent of guilt and frustration through his gloves, pounding the leather bag at the end of his gloved fists.

For the rest of the day, Conrad stuck close to his desk to organize his case files. When 6p.m. hit, his head still clouded with stress, he clocked out and headed home.

But he remembered what River suggested and changed course, driving his cruiser across the bridge to Cavalier Cove, instead. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

Meanwhile, Ximena returned home and made herself a sandwich. Anyone recognize her apartment? 👀

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 84

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 5K

Masterlist

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Friday, July 1st; 8:30 AM – Ona and Lucy's apartment.

I hum while cooking my pancakes in the pan. It's early, but I couldn't sleep anymore. Instead of waking Lucy, who was peacefully sleeping, I decided to make myself useful. So, here I am, in front of the stove. After several mornings of Lucy teaching me how to make pancakes, I finally decided to try it on my own. It was the perfect time while everyone else was still asleep. At least I knew no one would disturb me or offer their help, thinking I wouldn’t succeed. For once, I wanted to do it all by myself. This solitary moment is deeply relaxing for me. I feel good, with only the sounds of cooking and the TV in the background. The music coming from it puts me in a good mood. I sing along, swaying my body to the rhythm. When my pancake is ready, I remove it and start on the next one. That's when two arms gently wrap around me.

"What a lovely sight this early in the morning," I hear Lucy whisper in my ear.

I smile and stop moving my hips to feel her press against my back.

"Good morning," I murmur.

"So, how dare you leave me alone in bed?"

She takes advantage of my hair being tied up in a messy bun to plant a kiss on my exposed neck. A shiver runs through me, but it's a delightful way to start the day.

"And you have the nerve to complain? You don't think twice about leaving me alone when you go for your runs."

She laughs, tightening her grip around me. My stomach flutters in response. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this kind of morning.

"You're right. Forgive me for putting you through that."

"I’m adapting. You’ve got to make some sacrifices if I want to enjoy my girlfriend’s athletic body."

Lucy laughs again and kisses my cheek. Then she steps aside to lean against the counter with her arms crossed.

"True."

"So, where’s my kiss?"

She smiles and leans in to meet my lips. I close my eyes to savor our first kiss of the day. These tender moments between us mean a lot. They're spontaneous, which makes our relationship even more special. I sincerely hope they will continue and help our love last.

"Are you satisfied now, princess?"

"More than ever."

"You make me so happy. But why didn’t you wake me?"

"You were sleeping so deeply. I didn’t want to disturb you, especially since you so rarely sleep in. Besides, I wanted to use the time to make breakfast by myself."

"I see. It smells delicious."

"Thanks."

I blush softly. She runs her hand along the back of my neck as she straightens up, glancing at my plate full of pancakes, ready to be eaten.

"I suppose I can’t have a taste yet?"

"No," I giggle. "We’re all waiting for my mom and Joan to wake up."

She pouts, but I stand firm.

"Alright, but you should at least cover them," she says as I add another pancake to the pile. "They’ll get cold by then."

"Can you do it for me, please?"

"Hmm."

Her hand slides down my back before her touch fades away. She covers the plate and starts setting the table. She knows I’m not in my usual state. In an hour and a half, I’ll finally find out the result of my exam. I’m grateful that she’s not pressing me about it. I finish the last pancakes, and just in time for my mom and Joan to make their appearance. Lucy has also finished her tasks. She’s prepared freshly squeezed orange juice and is getting the hot drinks ready.

"Good morning, girls."

"Hey. Did you sleep well?" I ask them.

"As well as ever. I could get used to this place, especially if we’re treated this nicely every day."

"Uh… I like you, but no thanks."

"Ona!" Lucy scolds me.

My mom chuckles. Even though things have mostly been patched up, if I leave home, it won’t be so she can stay here.

"No, Lucy, she's right. The two of us under one roof, it’d be fireworks."

"Maybe, but that’s no excuse."

"It’s fine, I’m just joking."

I stick my tongue out as I place the plate on the table, where everyone is already seated.

"Well, this is quite a feast."

"Ona made it," Lucy points out.

"Really?"

I nod, visibly embarrassed. Lucy, sitting next to me, places her hand on my thigh as I take my seat.

"You're barely showing any signs of stress," she teases me.

"I knew something was off—I hadn't heard a single jab from you yet."

"Oh, don’t take it like that, honey."

My mom chuckles as she serves us, while Joan makes it clear he's hungry. They’ve been here for almost a week, and it seems like they've settled in. Their return to Barcelona later this afternoon is going to feel strange to them. One thing's for sure, I’m glad my mom finally got to see my life here. I'm not the rebellious kid I was when I left Barcelona. She can see I’m building my life successfully. She loves our apartment and, of course, has fully embraced Lucy into our family since our commitment to each other. She’s kept the promise she made at her wedding, and I don’t think that will change anytime soon. At least, I hope not. Lucy has helped me understand the importance of family, and even though I no longer have my father, I still have my mom.

"I can finally have a taste!" my girlfriend rejoices when her plate is served.

I’m nervous about her reaction. In fact, I haven’t even told her that I didn’t taste them myself. They look good, but we all know appearances can be deceiving. Lucy, however, seems completely unbothered. She’s totally calm as she takes the first bite. The tension rises in me as she chews slowly. Everyone waits for her reaction, which doesn’t take long. A hum escapes her soft lips.

"Hmm... not bad at all, my love."

"Really?" I ask, surprised. "You’re not just saying that to be nice?"

She laughs, shaking her head. I relax as she takes another bite. I’m happy to know it's at least edible.

"No, really, it's good. You didn’t even try it beforehand?"

"No," I admit, embarrassed. "I was scared of the result."

"Well, go ahead, taste it."

She cuts a piece and holds the fork out to me. I accept it without hesitation. My mom and sister have also started eating. I take my time to savor all the flavors of the dish, and I have to admit it turned out pretty well. For a first try, I did really well. They’re not as good as Lucy's yet, but I managed to make something. Just a few days ago, I was redoing the batter three times over, so I guess I’ve improved.

"It’s not bad at all, actually."

"I never imagined I'd eat one of your dishes one day," my mom confirms.

"Well, thanks!" I giggle.

"Oh no, it's a compliment. I never took the time to learn how to cook. That’s why I have Samuel at home."

I laugh, nodding. Indeed, I remember her as a walking disaster in the kitchen. Since she worked a lot, it was rare for her to cook for me, and yet, I vividly remember her burnt meals when she did. I was always relieved when my dad or grandmother stepped in to save the day. And if neither of them was around, I knew Nick's mom, our neighbor, would gladly serve me food discreetly after my mom’s meal. I focus on Joan, who also seems to be enjoying the food. He confirms this by asking for seconds twice before being refused a third helping.

"What time do we need to be at school?"

"The results are posted at ten," Lucy responds. "So, a bit earlier would be good."

"What about Mapi and Ingrid? Are they meeting us here?"

"Yes, that’s the plan," I confirm. "Have you heard from them?" I ask Lucy.

"They just left their place. They should be here soon."

"Okay," I reply with a shared smile.

Mapi came back with us a week ago. It feels really strange having her so close now, but I’m not complaining. For now, she seems to be enjoying her life here. We’re all on vacation, so we see each other regularly. Ingrid and she are helping out at the gym, where we’ll all start working next week. Jenni finished her contract at her previous job and will be wrapping up the major renovations. This summer is going to be intense as we try to finish everything before the start of September. There are six of us helping now, including the rest of our friends. I have no doubt we’ll get it done.

"Go get ready. We’ll take care of cleaning up."

"Are you sure?" Lucy asks.

After several months, she’s finally comfortable enough to use informal speech with my mom, although you can still tell she’s not entirely at ease with it.

"Of course. Your friends are arriving soon, and we’re already ready. We don’t want to be late."

"Alright."

I wasn’t going to argue since she was offering her help. Lucy shoots me a look, but I just take her hand, ignoring it.

"See you later."

I lead her with me to our room, which is still a bit of a mess. My mom had brought over a few more things I had packed up at their place before I left. Since we’ve been out with them all week, I haven’t had time to sort it all out.

"We could’ve helped first."

"Stop complaining. We’ve been serving them all week. They can clean the kitchen for once."

She rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything else. I start changing into the clothes I’d laid out the night before. Lucy smiles when she sees my school jacket.

"Already missing it?"

"Hey, I’ve always said I liked it," I defend myself.

"That’s true. It does suit you."

She winks, and I laugh. Once we’re both changed and have made the bed, we head to the bathroom to do our makeup. When we return to the living room, Mapi and Ingrid have arrived. We heard the doorbell ring earlier, but didn’t pay much attention since my mom and Joan were already in the living room.

"Good morning!" I greet them as we walk in.

"Ah, there you are. You look less stressed than what we were just told," Mapi teases.

"That’s because she cooked for the first time on her own this morning," Lucy announces from behind me.

"Hey!"

"Yeah, she’s not quite herself today," my best friend jokes.

I’m about to respond, but Lucy gets there first, turning me around and kissing me.

"We’re just teasing, love. It’s okay."

"Hmm..."

"Anyway, it’s time to go."

"Yeah..."

"Let’s head down," Ingrid says.

Lucy nods. They head out since they’re already ready. I sit on the couch to put on my shoes. Lucy, having slipped on hers quickly, crouches down in front of me.

"Everything’s going to be fine, okay?"

"What are we going to do if I didn’t pass?"

I feel a knot in my stomach just thinking about it. Lucy smiles, lifting my hand to her lips to kiss it.

"Well, you’ll repeat the year, and we’ll push back your art school plans to the following year. Grace said she’d wait for you, though she’d be a bit disappointed."

I nod, looking down. She strokes my cheek.

"Come on, babe. We don’t know anything yet. What matters most is that you gave it your best."

I smile softly and nod again. I then lift my head to meet her loving gaze.

"I was just wondering how you wanted to handle things once we’re there. Do you still want to introduce me to your friends tonight?"

I take a deep breath and shrug. I’m not sure, really. Lucy has officially left her job as an instructor, so I know we could go together. I had thought it would be more intimate to do it with just a small group. The other students don’t need to know about our relationship.

"I guess," I mumble.

She chuckles and stands up, kissing my forehead.

"I’ll probably meet up with my colleagues who will likely be there. I suggest we go separately at first, and we’ll figure it out if needed?"

This idea lightens my heavy heart. To be honest, I was mostly worried about keeping it together if I passed my exam.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Alright. Then I’ll ride with Ingrid. You can take my car if you want."

"You’re letting me drive?" I ask, surprised.

"Well, yeah. You’ve been driving it these past few days."

My smile widens as I take her keys. It’s true she’s given me the opportunity to drive her car. Lucy wants me to get used to driving again before we buy a car for me next year. It’s been great practice. Plus, it’s little gestures like this that boost my confidence. I’m starting to become independent, and it feels good.

"Thank you."

We kiss one last time before leaving the apartment. We stick to our plan and each drive separately. In front of us, Ingrid leads the way, though I know the route well by now, having done it many times with Lucy. She only lives a few blocks away. As we get closer, it’s clear today is a special day. There are so many cars parked outside. The street has never been this full. I take my time parking the car, just like Lucy taught me, in the first available spot. Then we step out. From a distance, I can see Lucy and Ingrid walking toward the entrance of the building.

"They’re not waiting for us?" Mapi asks.

"No. They’re going to see their colleagues first, and we’ll catch up with them later."

"I see."

She gives me a look that clearly shows she’s teasing me.

"What?"

"You know you won’t be able to hold it together, right?"

"Shut up."

She laughs heartily, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Come on, I’ll escort you then."

I smile and nod. That works for me. With my free hand, I grab Joan’s, and we head toward the entrance. Unlike the first time I came here, the gate is wide open, although there are people there to greet us. In fact, it’s Wiegman herself, along with several professors I didn’t have.

"Abby! What a surprise to see you here!" she says as we approach.

"Well, I couldn’t miss my daughter’s results, could I?"

They exchange a friendly hug before she shakes all of our hands.

"Is this your youngest?" she asks, noticing Joan.

My brother immediately hides behind me, making me smile.

"Yes, this is Joan."

"He’s grown so much!"

"Oh, yes."

"Let’s hope we don’t see him here."

"We’ll make sure of that."

"And how’s Marcus doing?"

Not wanting to get caught in a long conversation, I quickly say:

"We’re going to head off without you, if you don��t mind. My friends are probably waiting for me."

"Oh, sure, no problem," my mom replies. "We’ll meet up later. Are you taking Joan with you?"

I glance at my brother, who nods eagerly. I chuckle and nod as well.

"Yeah, I’ll take him. He can stay with Mapi."

After agreeing, we continue. The anxiety rises as we walk down the path.

"Come on, relax."

"I’d like to see you in my shoes. If I don’t pass this exam, I don’t know what I’ll do."

"Lucy said it’s not the end of the world."

"No, it’s not, but it would push back a lot of plans between us."

"I’m sure you’ll pass."

That’s not even the question. I *have* to pass. It’s crucial. As we reach the end of the path, we finally arrive at the central building. It’s packed. We can’t even see the entrance. Luckily, it’s a beautiful day. There’s a light breeze, but it’s not bothersome.

"Wow. This place is huge. So this is where you spent your year?"

"Yeah," I reply with a small smile. "You haven’t seen anything yet. I’ll check with Lucy if we can take a tour later."

"That’d be cool! Is that where you did those famous laps?" she asks, pointing to our left.

I chuckle, nodding.

"Yeah, I know those pretty well, if you want to know."

"I bet you do," she teases.

- Over there, those are the classroom buildings, I said, pointing them out to her.

- And next to the fields?

- The gym. That, I said, pointing to the building in front of us, is the administration building. And the two buildings you see on the right are the dormitories.

- Wow. Which one was yours?

- The one in front. We were on the first floor. There's also the cafeteria behind it, but according to what Lucy told me, there will be a snack bar there soon. You'll get to see it.

She nodded with a smile. I could tell she was excited to be here. I understood her. After everything I'd told her, I'd have been in the same state. She looked around, trying to get her bearings. I did the same, but mostly to find my friends. There were so many people. I was surprised to see how many had come with someone. Lucy was probably right. It's an experience that marks the students, and they're proud to show where they were. That's how I felt with Mapi. My eyes eventually landed on Alexia, who was waving wildly until she reached us.

- You’re finally here. I saw Lucy and Ingrid arrive without you, and I was starting to wonder.

- Ona doesn't want to be seen with her just yet.

- For how long? Alexia giggled.

I rolled my eyes as they laughed together. Those two were getting along just a little too well.

- Where are they anyway?

- What, you want to join them already? Mapi teased.

- No. Just testing the waters. So?

Alexia smiled and nodded her head toward something behind me. I turned around to see Lucy with her former colleagues, and even Jenni was there.

- She ended up coming with you?

- Thankfully. She wasn’t too thrilled, but I didn’t give her a choice.

- Poor girl, Mapi teased.

I laughed softly and nodded. I got it, but I also understood Alexia perfectly. I felt the same way. I turned back to them, but this time I saw Lucy looking right at us. The others around her were deep in conversation, but she was fully focused on me. We exchanged a smile. I would’ve given anything to be by her side, but it wasn’t time yet.

- The others are over there if you want to join, Alexia said, grabbing my attention again.

- Yeah, good idea, I replied. I’m happy to finally see everyone again.

- They’re excited to see you too. Honestly, we were just waiting for you.

- Well, here we are.

We followed Alexia as she led us to the others. I ended up carrying Joan since he got shy around my friends. I couldn’t blame him. It was a lot of people, after all. It was the first time I’d been surrounded by so many people, but I wasn’t complaining. I liked my friends, and I planned to keep them close now that I was staying here.

- Ah! We were wondering if you’d come over, Alba greeted us.

- As if I’d ignore you, I chuckled. Hi, everyone.

- Well, you never know. You didn’t want to be friends with us at first, so we were wondering if you’d still talk to us now that classes are over, they teased.

- Fair point, but times have changed.

- That’s true.

I took the time to greet everyone individually. Mapi did the same, following behind me. She might have only met them once before, but she was so at ease with everyone.

- How did you accept your sister’s girlfriend? I teased.

- You knew? She seemed surprised.

- Like She wouldn’t? Alexia responded.

- Wait, so you know her?

- Well, yeah, I chuckled.

- Whatever, that’s not what’s important, Patri interrupted.

- Oh really?

I tilted my head as she nodded.

- We heard this is Bronze' last year. Since you were always with her, maybe you know something?

- Where did you hear that? I asked, frowning.

It was true, of course, but I was supposed to be the only one who knew. As far as I knew, I hadn’t told anyone. Did someone overhear us, or worse, see us together? Well, at this point, I guess it didn’t matter much anymore. Lucy wasn’t my supervisor anymore. She was just my fiancée now.

- Well, people came up to us thinking you were already here, Claudia continued. They saw her packing up on the last day, so now there are rumors.

- Oh, um...

I didn’t know what to say. Luckily, just then, a commotion started around us. Everyone rushed toward the notice board where the exam results were being posted.

- Oh! They’re putting up the results! Alba announced.

- Finally, her sister replied.

It had been a while since I’d felt this anxious. I felt sick to my stomach. Even back in high school, I hadn’t felt this way. Most of my friends rushed over to get a front-row view. Only Mapi, Alexia, and Leah and Alessia stayed with me.

- I feel sick, I confessed.

Leah burst out laughing.

- Come on, princess. It’s all done now anyway.

She was right, but I couldn’t help it.

- Well, I’m going, Alexia announced.

She led the way, and everyone followed. I turned to Mapi, who was happily playing with Joan, who I put down.

- Go ahead. We’ll wait here for you.

I smiled softly and followed the others at a slow pace. People were already reacting—some were exploding with joy, while others were crying. I didn’t know where to look, feeling completely lost. My eyes scanned the crowd, and I realized I was unconsciously searching for Lucy until our eyes locked. I relaxed instantly when I saw her walking toward me with a reassuring smile.

- Don’t be scared. I’ll go with you, she said as she reached my side.

- Thanks.

I bit my lip and let her guide me with her hand resting on my lower back. We walked together to my section, where I saw Alessia, Leah, and even Lotte screaming with joy. I figured everyone had passed. I would feel so awful if I was the only one who didn’t. We made our way to the front of the list as most people had already seen their results, making it easier to approach. I grabbed Lucy’s hand, squeezing it as hard as I could as I scanned the list for my name. I could feel my heart pounding, and finally, I spotted my name. I shifted my eyes slightly to the right, and as soon as I saw the result, I started to cry.

- I can’t believe it... I whispered.

- So? Lucy asked beside me.

- I... I passed! Oh my God, Lucy, I did it!

I literally jumped on Lucy, who wasn’t expecting it at all. She laughed as she caught me as best she could. Without thinking and not giving her time to react, I kissed her passionately. At first, she was so taken aback that she didn’t kiss me back. I almost regretted it, but she eventually responded, wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her back, burying my face in her neck.

- Oh my God. I can’t believe it. It’s all thanks to you!

- I wasn’t the one taking the tests.

- No, but without you, I wouldn’t have come this far, I said, pulling back to look at her. Thanks to you, I can now chase my dream and get into art school. And also, we can finally start our life together. I never imagined ending the school year like this.

Lucy smiled and kissed me again. I was sure everyone was watching, but I didn’t care. I was so happy that all that mattered was the two of us. It had always been like that from the beginning. Lucy took my hand and led me out of the crowd. Everyone was staring at us. At first, I felt a little self-conscious, which made Lucy laugh.

- I would’ve preferred to spare you this, but now we’ve got to own it.

- The last thing I’d ever be ashamed of is you, my love.

She turned with a smirk. I stopped in step and eagerly accepted her next kiss. She knew those words meant everything coming from me. A few months ago, I couldn’t even fully accept myself. When we finally made it out of the crowd, we rejoined Mapi and my sister, who had found Ingrid and Jenni. I left my girlfriend to jump into my best friend’s arms.

- "Guess who got their diploma, guys?!"

- "Yeah! Now that's some great news!" she exclaims.

I laugh with relief in her arms. All the pressure has finally eased away, making room for joy. I still can't believe it.

- "You really surprised everyone. People haven't stopped staring at us," Ingrid giggles.

Indeed, the stares don't stop. Not just from students, but even the staff. No one knew, but Lucy doesn’t seem bothered. She just shrugs.

- "As far as I know, we’re in the clear. I’m no longer part of this school."

I nod and savor a final hug from Mapi, which she surprises me with. She whispers in my ear:

- "I’m so happy for you, darling. You really deserve this."

- "Thank you," I whisper back.

Before I can fully part from Mapi, Alexia jumps on me next. I see our friends following, but for now, I’m waiting for her reaction.

- "We all made it!" she shouts. "We're going to have a blast tonight!"

She keeps screaming with joy as she runs over to Jenni, who struggles to catch her. And she, too, doesn’t hold back, kissing her girlfriend in front of everyone. After all, school’s over now, and nothing else matters. I also turn back to Lucy and kiss her again.

- "About time you two made it official," Leah teases. "Now we can finally get to know the commander for real."

- "You knew?" Alba says, surprised.

- "Come on, Alba, it was so obvious, »Misa tell her . "They were practically eating each other up with their eyes every chance they got."

I chuckle at her shocked expression while still clinging to Lucy’s neck. I exchange a knowing smile with Misa. I kind of suspected she had figured it out. In the end, not many people hadn’t. From what I can see, it’s only Alba and Patri who didn’t see it coming.

- "Maybe we weren’t as discreet as we thought," Lucy comments, noticing the same thing I did.

Everyone laughs because, honestly, I think by the end, we really weren’t. Still, when I went to see her in her office, it was genuinely to study. I worked my butt off, and it looks like all my effort paid off.

- "So, she’s the girlfriend you’ve had these past months?" Alba asks, still in shock.

- "Indeed. I said I’d come with someone tonight to introduce you all, but… well, I couldn’t hold back."

- "We called it! Mapi and I saw this coming ages ago," Alexia teases.

- "You’re dating Bronze. I can’t believe it. That’s insane!"

- "I’m not your instructor anymore. You can call me Lucy after all, we’ll probably be seeing a lot of each other."

- "Oh my God..."

I burst into laughter at her reaction.

- "What’s with all of you dating instructors?"

- "Hey, they’re pretty sexy," Mapi chimes in.

- "Wait, you too?" Patri exclaims, seeing my best friend hanging on Ingrid.

- "Yep. But I was never part of this school," she giggles.

I smile as Lucy kisses my forehead. I’ve finally introduced her. It was about time. She doesn’t seem as nervous as she thought she’d be. I imagine the situation feels strange for her, but thanks to Jenni and Ingrid, she’s surrounded by her friends.

- "What about the rumor going around?" Claudia asks. "Is it true you won’t be here next year?"

- "Yes, it’s true."

- "Really?" Leah says, surprised. "Did Wiegman find out?"

- "Yes, but that’s not why I’m leaving. I’m opening a gym with Jenni. And by the way, thank you, Alba, for your help. It was invaluable."

Poor Alba doesn’t know what to say. She’s just come to terms with Jenni and her sister, so I imagine it’ll take her some time to accept Bronze and me as well. But I have to admit, they’ve done a great job with Jenni. The kitchen was installed in the break room, but they’ve made the most progress in the locker rooms. They’ve revamped everything, installing new tiles, new shower cabins, and changing areas.

- "You’re opening it with Jenni?"

- "Yes," she replies with amusement. "So, if you really plan to lend a hand this summer, you’ll be seeing a lot more of me."

She’d been pestering Jenni to help, but from the look on her face, I sense he might change her mind soon. I can understand her reaction. Lucy is known to be intimidating here. At first, it won’t be easy for her to be accepted as my girlfriend. Or maybe... She finally smiles.

- "Well, at least I know my sister was in good hands all along... I guess I owe you a lot, too."

Lucy chuckles softly.

- "No, you’ve got it wrong. I hated your sister for a long time because of Jenni’s dismissal. It’s my relationship with Ona that made us friends, since they’re so close. But I can assure you Jenni takes great care of her. You have nothing to worry about."

She nods appreciatively, then looks at all six of us. I think she’s realized her sister is in good company now. She finally looks at me with a small smile.

- "You really don’t do things halfway when it comes to making changes. Making the commander bend, seriously."

I laugh, shrugging.

- "We both bent to each other. What can I say?" I reply, snuggling into my girlfriend. "I’m just glad you’re all okay with it."

- "Of course, princess. But now it’s time to let us into your little bubble."

- "No problem with that," Lucy responds. "We’ll start with tonight’s party."

They nod eagerly. In the end, everything turned out great. I’m so happy. Well, they don’t know yet that they’re now tied to Lucy for life after our engagement, but that’s a story for another time. They don’t need to know just yet. Lucy and I haven’t even picked a wedding date. Ideally, it would be next year, but with all the current projects, it might get pushed back. Neither of us wants to rush into it. What mattered was the commitment we made to each other. We wanted to make it official because we know we complete each other, and there’s no question of looking elsewhere. For now, the most important thing is to enjoy this moment together. We still need to pick up our transcripts, then grab a drink in the cafeteria to celebrate. After that, it’s time to unwind at tonight’s party at Leah house, but more importantly, to celebrate the beginning of our new life—life after Camp Wiegman. It’s clear everyone’s excited about it. I know I am. I can’t wait to live out my dreams alongside the love of my life. 

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART SEVEN

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels x f!reader)

Summary: You and Jack have a real conversation for the first time and you find out he's more vulnerable than you thought

(This is the seventh chapter of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX

Warnings: hurt, angst, hurt, angst, talk of past trauma, asshole!jack (but not really), mom!reader, and fluff because Wyatt is too cute

A/N: besties, I gotta confess 🥺 that I teared up writing this one, I don't know how you will all react, but my heart is broken for jack and reader 🥺

3.2k words

It was only evening when Wyatt finally showed signs of being tired. He loved Silver Pony so much and no matter if Jack showed him the other horses, he was hooked to your favorite girl, always clinging to her and stroking her soft fur. Silver Pony also enjoyed the affection, always hovering around the two of you gently, making your son giggle and reward both you and Jack with his sweet laughs. 

The cowboy didn't interfere, he just watched the two of you having fun, his mind wandering through his thoughts. For once, he didn't think of his late wife and their unborn son, instead, he kept thinking of you and Wyatt, wondering and picturing what life would be like if he hadn't made you go away, if he'd taken care of you while you were pregnant, he was sure you were glowing and looking gorgeous, he thought of what would it be like holding you at night, stroking your pregnant bump and talking to the baby in your womb. How he would shower you in presents and you two would get the baby's room ready together. He liked imagining taking care of Wyatt as a newborn, how he would probably be afraid of holding him and you would soothe him. You two would be so happy with your beautiful little family. He thought of all the celebrations and parties that could have happened on his ranch, your engagement dinner, your wedding party, Wyatt's first birthday and so on. It shattered his heart to think he had missed out on an entire life of happiness only because he was a bad person. 

He watched as the sun was setting and got up, gathering the basket and walking towards Silver Pony "I think we should head back, the sun is going down and Helen made us dinner…" he swallowed "it's your favorite sugar" he looked at you with his puppy eyes and you controlled the urge of rolling your own. It baffled you his ability of being a real dick and pretending nothing was happening, you were going to ignore what he said, but Wyatt smiled big "mommy happy?" He asked and you nodded, turning to Silver Pony "I'm very happy because I have you, my beautiful son, and also our gorgeous Silver Pony" she caressed down the mare's face and Wyatt whimpered as he couldn't reach it, so Jack quickly joined them, lifting him up and he imitated his mommy's gesture 

"I wove Silvew Pony… can we take hew home, mommy?" He tilted his head in such innocent way your chest tightened and you laughed softly at him "we can't fit her in our apartment baby, otherwise I'd love to take her with us, so for now she has to stay here" 

Wyatt pouted and nodded and then his face lit up as he had an amazing idea "can we wive hewe? With cowboy, mommy, Wyatt and Silvew Pony" he said happily and clapped his hands excitedly. Jack swallowed sadly and looked at you, you glanced back at him and licked your lips. As much as you wanted to punch him, you couldn't help but feel your lips tingling every time you remembered the kiss he forcefully imposed on you. 

"I would love for you and your mommy to live with me, big guy, but I think mommy likes the city, but you two are always welcome here, to spend the weekend or as long as you would like" he said and rubbed Wyatt's arm, seeing his skin was cold and they should probably get back inside. 

"Y/N… Wyatt is a little cold…" he said as he gently placed his big hand on your arm, startling you as you didn't expect his warm touch. "You're cold too. Here…" he told you, carefully handing you Wyatt as he took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around your body. 

You didn't say much as Wyatt snuggled you, clinging to your body and yawning as your warmth spread through his body. You also tried not paying attention to Jack's scent lingering all over it. It smelled like pine, a little bit of cologne, whiskey and him. It used to be your favorite smell in the whole world, but now it only left shattered pieces of your heart behind. You nuzzled Wyatt's curls and kissed his forehead, making him giggle as you two rushed inside as Jack stayed behind to take Silver Pony back into the stable. 

Helen greeted you at the door, you knew Saturdays evenings she went back to her home and would only come back on Monday, she was ready to go, but not without showering Wyatt and kisses and hugging you tight, telling you once again how happy she was to see you and how she wished you would come more often to visit them, you nodded and said goodbye, feeling happy to have seen the woman and placed Wyatt down. You took off Jack's jacket just in time to see him walk through the door and handed it back to him "thank you" you said in a low voice and turned to your son "now you're gonna get a nice warm shower, okay? So we can have yummy dinner" she told him, but he pouted and hugged his dad's legs, who knelt in front of him and stroked his cheek "mommy is right, buddy, you gotta do what she says, it's time for shower because no one likes a smelly cowboy" he winked and tickled his tummy making his son laugh. 

You nodded, surprised at Jack's reinforcement as you expected low of him after he displayed his true character towards you so many times. You just assumed he would always take the easy road in order to be Wyatt's favorite, but it was good he knew you should work as a team and not as rivals. 

You took Wyatt back to the guest bedroom you'd be having through the night as you would help him shower in the bathroom. He was excited to put on his horses PJs after showering, so he could show his cowboy friend how much of a cowboy himself he was. You chuckled, finding it amusing while Wyatt already got undressed by himself and got under the shower wanting to be over with it as soon as possible; though you tried starting it, no stream of water came out and you sighed, as you had no idea how to fix it, you wrapped a towel around your son and went to the stairs, calling Jack so he could assist you. He ran up the stairs as quickly as possible, excitement rushed through his veins as you were addressing him "what's wrong?" He licked his bottom lip and watched you intently

"Shower's not working" you informed him and he nodded and followed you into the bathroom. Wyatt giggled as he saw the cowboy, he shyly hid under his mommy still in his towel, waiting patiently while Jack took a look at things. 

"Seems like this cowboy will have to shower somewhere else and you too sugar. You can take the bathroom in my bedroom, you know where it is and you can use the tub as well" he said with an excited smile at Wyatt "how's that buddy? Would you like to be a water cowboy tonight?" He cooed at Wyatt who nodded excitedly "pwease mommy, i want to pway watew cowboy" he pouted and you agreed, heading towards Jack's bedroom - the one that used to be yours too. 

"I'll warm up dinner while you bathe him, sugar, unless you want my help…" he offered but you quickly dismissed. 

After Wyatt had a blast in Jack's tub and begged you to brush your hair to the side just like the cowboy's, the three of you had dinner together. Helen had been so kind to make your favorite dish, along with some nuggets for your son, who enjoyed every second of it completely oblivious to the tension between you and his daddy. 

Wyatt didn't take long to fall asleep on the couch after the amount of fun and activities he had during the week. He was so happy and enjoyed every single minute of the day and, though Jack sighed a little disappointed as he saw him already fast asleep

"I wanted to show him the bedroom I set up for him… Y/N please, I want Wyatt to keep coming here, you too, of course, so you can visit Helen and Silver Pony, but I know you hate my guts so I won't force you to come any longer, but I want my son around" he said as he sat on the edge of the couch and caressed his hair gently. 

"Why did you come back after so long? I don't understand… I know you've been providing us with money here and there and that you also watched us from afar, but why now?" 

You saw how tense Jack got as he looked down and took a deep breath, ready to speak but then changed his mind as Wyatt whimpered in his dream "this ain't something we should talk about in front of a kid, Y/N… go relax, take your shower and I'll tell you later" he said firmly and very gently picked up Wyatt, asking you to follow him down the hallway where he stood next to a door, which you remembered really well it was another guest bedroom, but apparently Jack had made it into Wyatt's room. He waited for you to open the door as his own hands were busy with your son and your heart warmed at how beautifully he had it made. 

It was of course, all farm themed, with paintings on the wall, all kinds of animal plushies and matching furniture. You knew your son would go crazy once he saw it and you couldn't help tearing up at how thoughtful that place was. Even if things were ruined between you and Jack, maybe he could be a good father after all. 

He covered Wyatt gently and pecked his forehead, turning to you and giving you another sad smile "you should go shower now, we can talk in a little while" 

                           •••

Jack waited for you to exit the bathroom in his master room with a glass of scotch in hands and sitting down in the armchair. He felt anxious at the same time he wanted to get things done with you as soon as possible. He knew you deserved the truth, as well as his apologies though he was sure you wouldn't actually accept them, still he had to try. He wanted his son around and he could only get it if you could stand him at least a little, because even if he had blackmailed you, he didn't want to bring lawyers into the game, he didn't want to take things to the court and cause you and Wyatt more distress. He hoped he could make things civil between the two of you and he knew the way of getting into it was being honest with you. 

He could hear the shower running and wondered why you hadn't bathed in the tub, as you loved doing it and very often invited him to join in with you. He felt a wave of lust hitting him, as he thought of all the time you'd spent there together, how you touched each other's bodies, your lips on him, your taste in his mouth, he was so happy and wasn't even aware that would end some day. 

He was so caught up in his thoughts he barely noticed the shower went completely silent and a few minutes later, you opened the door and walked out only in your underwear, completely unaware of him at first. He gasped and felt his mouth getting dry, not expecting such a beautiful sight for his sore eyes, he licked his lips and wasn't sure if he should make his presence known, though his presence was completely explicit as he was sat there a few meters from you, under the bright lights, you were just too distracted, and he knew exactly what had caught your attention: the picture frame he had in one of his shelves. It was you and Wyatt, on his first birthday. 

You didn't know how you missed it the first time you'd been into his bedroom earlier, taking your son to be bathed, but now you saw it: it was a picture of you and him. You didn't know how Jack managed to get his hands on that picture, but it was also quite shocking as you analyzed the rest of the furniture and the wall and you didn't find any pictures of his late wife. Why did he keep your pictures and not hers? It was another Jack Daniels mystery you weren't sure you wanted to find out. 

You knew you would have to put up some clothes and find him, he managed to make you curious and you didn't know until what extent he needed to tell you something serious or if it was one of his games, but once you turned away and walked to his bed to get the clothes you'd left there, you finally spotted him in the armchair. Your heart nearly stopped at the sight of him there, you didn't expect to see Jack and he looked almost as shocked as you did, not believing you were flashing him your body like that. 

"Fuck Jack, what are you doing here?" You raised your voice at him, anger and embarrassment formed a wave inside of you, as you immediately grabbed your towel and covered yourself. 

He swallowed hard and finished his whiskey, looking embarrassed himself and rubbed the back of his neck "I didn't know you would come out of the shower without clothes, well, technically you're covering your… body" he said choosing his words carefully "but I thought you'd be fully dressed and well, you look gorgeous, even better than what I remembered, if it makes you feel any better. 

You scoffed at him and shook your head 

"Gorgeous? You said I looked rough this morning, Jack… you don't have to pity me. Besides, don't forget you're older than me and with the way you drink, you can start kissing your pretty face goodbye real soon, so you will definitely look rougher than me" you spat at him, not caring if that was pretty at all. You caught a hint of hurt in his eyes and that made you feel really proud even if it shouldn't have, but he immediately shook his head and stared at you. 

"I deserved that" he chuckled dryly "but I didn't mean that, and I also didn't mean anything bad I told you before… I am a dick I know, but I knew you hated my guts after I made you leave and I thought to myself it would be easier for me if I just pushed you away, you hate me Y/N and you got all the right to do so, and I thought it would be less painful if I forced myself to believe I hated you too, maybe if I tried hard enough, I'd stop loving you and it would be easier to handle your rejection" he said feeling ashamed and looked down. 

You sat in the other armchair, the towel covering your body as you listened to his words 

"You don't look rough at all, you're as gorgeous as you were the day you walked out of my life, Y/N, you're not a bitch, and I won't get any lawyers, I promise you" he said with a small voice "I've been hurting you so you hate me more, because I will never be worthy of your love again, I lost you, but I don't wanna lose my kid, Y/N, please" he said honestly and watched as you just had a hard expression on your face 

"You know Jack, the first time I saw you, I was already head over heels, you were on a mission and I had no idea, but I saw you approaching that woman and throwing your charm and she refused you. It was kind of funny, but all I could think of was that if it were me, it would've worked, you would have me wrapped around your finger…" you said "and only at the end of the night you saw me… and then when we started dating, I found out you'd been married before, and that's the problem with you, I'm always your second option, and I will always be" you shrugged "it hurts… to know I'm not the woman that's on your mind, that whenever we do something special to know you are thinking of how much you'd like to do with her instead… I don't want my son to grow up knowing he is only here because you couldn't have your first option… I don't want him to feel he has to compete with a ghost, because that's how I felt… that's even how I feel Jack, because do you even hear yourself? You would never do this to your wife…. You would never try to push her away by being cruel like you are, if it were her, you would get on your knees and beg for her forgiveness" you said and got up walking to his bed and getting your clothes. You didn't want to talk to him anymore, you were tired of being that hurt, as you tried leaving, he got up and held you by your wrist, firmly, making it clear you were only leaving that place when he wanted you to 

"The reason why I wanted you and my son back in my life, is because I was shot on my last mission. I tried sabotaging the mission, but the other agent got suspicious and shot me. They took me back to Statesman and Ginger fixed me right, but she still needed to trigger my memory, so she showed me a picture of my wife, God bless her soul, and nothing happened" he licked his lips and stared into your eyes "so Ginger decided to show me a picture of you and Wyatt, and that was when everything came back all at once. Us, our relationship, our life here on the ranch. I was able to relive my memories once more, and when I got back to my senses, Champ forced me into therapy, and you know what the therapist concluded?" Your jaw dropped the moment you saw Jack had tears in his eyes, you had never seen him show that kind of emotion, he was really good at controlling his feelings and he didn't show that kind of vulnerability in front of anyone. You realized he'd asked you a question and as you swallowed hard, you shook your head, answering him. 

"The therapist said I replaced one grief with another; I finally let my first wife and son rest in peace and I was grieving the loss of you and Wyatt, because I couldn't handle the guilt of making you two go away, but he reminded me you two were very much alive and I didn't want to waste any more time, I just knew I wanted my family back, and that's why I beg you for a second chance, sugar"

_____

A/N: besties, I hope you have liked this chapter and let me know your thoughts, does this cowboy deserve a second chance?

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗎𝗌𝗍 - 𝖢.𝖲. (𝗉𝗍. 1)

Synopsis: (Chris's POV) Chris would do absolutely anything to keep his best friend safe and happy.

Warnings: Language, small use of the word r*pe (nothing happens), alcohol/over drinking, fluff

Word Count: 2k+

Chris’s POV

My eyes were locked on her. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched the way she moved her body on the dancefloor. She was so effortlessly beautiful. She always had been. 

I was fascinated by her the second I met her at nine years old. It was the first time I ever felt any type of feeling for a girl. The way she smiled and waved at me from across the street as she helped her parents carry boxes inside. I couldn’t help but smile back. And when my mom insisted me and my brothers go help our new neighbors, I got choked up in her presence. 

But that’s a story I’ll reminisce about another day. Right now my job as her best friend was to protect her at all costs. Y/n had a lot of ups and downs in her life and I was by her side for every single one of them. But now that we were in our 20’s living in LA, free from the confines of our parents and hometown, she really loved to let loose and forget everything that ever happened to her. I loved watching her have fun but she wasn’t always the most graceful drunk. And if I’ve learned anything from the guys that frequent the sleazy bars and clubs downtown, it’s that they have no respect for women, which made my drunk and vulnerable best friend an easy target. 

So yeah, while my brothers and friends were also letting loose, I always had an eye on Y/n and remained close enough to her to rescue her if she needed me but not too close that I was hovering like an overprotective dog. 

Me and Matt both threw back a shot of whiskey at the bar. I checked my phone, it was 11:34 pm. Taking me all of two, maybe three seconds tops. I glanced back over to where I had last seen Y/n and Madi dancing but now Y/n was missing. I make my way through the sea of people towards Madi.

“Where’s Y/n?!” I yell over the music. 

Madi looks around. “I don’t know! She was just here!”

I could feel my stomach tighten as I looked around the room. She couldn’t have gone far, I only looked away for two seconds. My eyes landed on her new gold dress, she was barely able to walk, leaning on some random guy for support as he led her towards the exit of the club.

“Y/n!” I yelled, pushing past people to get to her as quickly as I could. I reached out and grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face me. “Y/n! Are you okay?!”

“Chrisssyyyyy!” She beamed and fell into me, wrapping her arms loosely around my neck. “I’m drunkkkk!”

“Yo, do you mind? I’m tryna get some tail!” The skeezy fuck that had his dirty hands on her said to me.

“Uh, yeah, I fucking mind!” I snapped back at him, pulling Y/n to my side. “Back the fuck up, homie!”

“What’s going on?!” Nick asked as he approached with Matt and Madi. 

I handed Y/n off to Madi. “This fucking sleaze bag was about to take Y/n home and fucking rape her!”

“I wasn’t gonna rape her, man! She said she was down!” He replied. 

“Does she look like she’s in any state to consent?!” Nick shot back at him. 

I could feel a heat rising in my chest as he eyed Y/n again.

“Looks like she takes it all the time!” The guy laughed and it triggered an immediate reaction in me. 

Before I even knew what was happening, my fist crashed against his jaw, knocking it out of place. He attempted to swing back but I was already two steps ahead of him, laying into him with everything I had.

“Chris!” Matt and Nick yelled simultaneously, grabbing my arms and pulling me away as a few other people dragged the guys limp body away from me. 

“Say it again, homie! See what fucking happens!” I was screaming at him. “Oh what’s that?! Can’t talk with a busted ass jaw?!”

“You three, out!” The bouncer yelled, grabbing me, Nick, and Matt and throwing us out the front door. “Get out of here before the cops show up, kid.” He said to me.

“I’m not leaving without Y/n.” I told him. 

“We’re coming…” Madi said, guiding Y/n out of the club. 

I took her into my arms once again and tilted her chin up to look at me. “Y/n, sweetheart. Look at me.” I said to her, it took a moment for her eyes to focus but once they did she smiled. “You okay?”

“Mhmm,” She giggled. “I missed you!” She had no recollection of what just happened.

I was annoyed with the events that just took place but her honey soaked voice always made me smile. “Let’s get you home, yeah?”

“Mmmmkay…” She agreed. “

“Is she okay?” Matt asked. 

“She’ll be fine. I’m taking her home.” I told them. “You guys can stay out if you want.”

“You sure you don’t need any help?” Nick asked.

“I got her. Go have fun. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” I said, crouching down slightly. “Get on my back, sweetheart.” I said to Y/n. 

She sloppily threw herself against me, wrapping her arms around my neck and I helped her onto my back. She was minutes away from passing out and since home was right up the street, I didn’t mind carrying her. 

“Alright…text us when you’re home.” Matt said. I gave him a mock salute and made my way towards my house. 

-

“Y/n, wake up!” I whispered to her softly as I let her down. “We’re home.” 

“Hmm?” She hummed.

“We’re home. Let’s get you to bed, okay?” 

“Chris, I don’t feel good…” She said.

“Are you gonna be si-” I was quickly cut off with the answer to my question as she threw up all over her new dress. “Fuck, sweetheart, come here.” I shifted her to the side so that she was aiming for the bushes as I held her hair back. “Just let it out.” She puked for a full minute before finally being able to catch her breath.

“I might have drank too much…” She said softly. Her voice was hoarse. 

She seemed so weak and pitiful. It broke my heart. I hated seeing her like this. “It’s okay, let’s get you cleaned up, okay? Can you walk?”

She nodded. I led her into the house and helped her downstairs to my room. I turned on the shower and grabbed her some towels. “I’ll grab you some clothes to wear. Do you want me to wash your dress?” 

“Yes please…” She said softly.

“I’ll be right back,” I said as I closed the bathroom door, allowing her to strip out of her dress and heels. I went to my dresser and grabbed my favorite t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. I also grabbed her a bottle of water. She already had her own drawer in my bathroom with all of her basic necessities. She stayed over all the time so I wanted to be sure she had everything she needed. I went over and knocked on the door. She swung it open, a towel draped around her body and mascara running down her cheeks. 

“Y/n, what’s wrong? Do you feel sick again?” I asked. 

“No. I’m just…I’m sorry…” She mumbled.

“Hey!” I said, taking her chin between my thumb and index finger, forcing her to look up at me. “Don’t be sorry. Everything is fine, alright?” She sniffled softly and I pulled her in for a hug, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “Take your time, get cleaned up, okay? I’ll make you something to eat and then we can go to bed, yeah?”

She nodded in agreement and I smiled at her. “Here’s some clean clothes and water. Give me your dress, I’ll throw it in the wash. She handed me her dress and I moved to close the door. “Yell if you need me, okay?”

She smiled in agreement and with that, I left her alone to gather herself. I headed upstairs and threw her dress in the washer. I looked at all the cycle options with confusion, trying to decide how exactly this machine worked. I picked up my phone and texted Matt.

Chris: How do I work the washer?

Matt: What are you washing?

Chris: Y/n’s dress. She got sick.

Matt: Just put a little bit of detergent in, turn it to delicate and press start.

Chris: Thx bro

I put my phone down and sighed. I went to the freezer and grabbed a pizza, throwing it in the oven before I thought back on the events of the night. I couldn’t fucking believe how shitty some people were. What if I hadn’t caught Y/n in time? What if she ended up in that dude's car and he took her home to do God knows what? It made me sick just thinking about it. I looked down at my hand and noticed the dried blood on my knuckles. I didn’t notice it until now but the second I realized I had split one open I began to feel the pain. 

I went over to the sink to scrub my hands, hissing as the water ran over the gash on my knuckle, proving to be a lot larger than I had originally thought. I opened the cabinet above the microwave where Nick had dedicated a space to cures for any ailment. I pulled out the first aid kit and wrapped a bandage around my hand, using my teeth to tear the cloth. 

The oven went off and I pulled the pizza out, cutting it and throwing a few slices onto a plate. It was a regular cheese pizza but I knew it would help sober Y/n up a bit so she could hopefully sleep peacefully tonight. 

I grabbed a Pepsi and water from the fridge and made my way downstairs. When I got to my room, Y/n was still in the shower. I put her pizza and water on her side of the bed and grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels to find something decent to watch at this hour. I finally landed on Spongebob and thought that would be a good option to fall asleep to. 

I heard the shower shut off and I scrolled my phone as I waited for Y/n to join me in bed. It was another 20 minutes before she finally emerged from the bathroom. 

“Hey! How’re you feeling?” I ask her as I pulled the covers back for her to get into bed. She looked so cute with her braided hair and bare face with my t-shirt draped over her like a dress. 

“A little better,” She shrugged. “Less drunk.”

“Good. Let’s get some sleep, sweetheart.”

“I don’t even remember what happened tonight. I completely blacked out.” She said as she sat in bed and hugged her knees to her chest. 

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, pulling her into me. “Everything is fine. You’re here and you’re safe, okay?” She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. She felt so weak and fragile. “Do you want some food? I made pizza if you want it.”

“Maybe in a bit,” She sniffles. “Can we just cuddle first?”

“Of course, come here.” I leaned back and Y/n rested her head on my chest. I dragged my fingers softly over her back, willing her to sleep while she had an arm and leg draped over me. 

In less than ten minutes I could hear soft snores escape her lips and I smiled. I felt like such a dick for losing sight of her. I had to keep reminding myself that she was here with me and safe. Nothing could hurt her now. 

She was an adult and she could do as she pleased. But I so badly just wanted to spend eternity with her here in my room where I knew I could protect her from all the evil of the world. She didn’t deserve the shit life has thrown at her and watching her drink her pain away broke my heart. I wish I knew how to help her…

Tags: @strniohoeee @daisysturniolo. @justangelheree @flowerxbunnie @recklesssturniolo @lustfulslxt @mangosrar @bluesturniolo333 @christinarowie332 @kenzieiskoolaid @sturniolopepsi @mattenthusiast @ilovecrazymen @sturnphilia @poopydroopt

[pensiveriiots]

When I showed up to have a part of my heart scrapped out from inside me

A man outside the clinic told me he’ll pray for me & my baby

He’ll get on his knees for my sins

Ask God to forgive me for sparing a lamb from slaughter

by gutting it’s mother

before the winter starves them both

Then he’ll stand on all ten when his God tells him our hunger is a test of faith

But I know empty stomach & bruised knees are not virtues

That pleading for peace isn’t how you find it

I know hoping something saves you

only distracts you from figuring out

how to save yourself

Do you pray for incubation beds & affordable newborn caskets in the nicu

For full meals in group homes or large balances on food stamp cards

Do you pray for children who burn in their parents spreading flames

Who know their worth is always up for debate

Spend lifetimes selling parts of themselves to earn it

Do you pray for girls who have babies that look like their rapist

For boys who try to love their sons without hurting them but don’t know how

When you pray

do you picture orphans faces

Do you hear their mourning

Do you see a mother tightening her child’s belt loops

After crying her former dreams into the shower drain

Do you smell the booze in the breastmilk

Do you recite the postpartum suicide notes

Do you even change your child’s diapers or is it your wife’s job

Did you pray for my mom the first time she got pregant at 15 after she was raped

Did you pray for her when she was forced to do the same thing

I have the privilege to choose

Did you pray when my father poked a hole in my moms destiny

Is it still divine if only one of them knew I wasn’t a surprise

Did you pray for me the first time he hit me

Or the first time a boy didn’t give me a choice either

Did you pray for my soft heart while my upbringing coated it in a hard shell to protect me when no one else could

Did you pray when I prayed for death at 13

When I was jealous of my unborn older sibling because they were spared

Did God know what was gonna happen when he sent me earth side

Did he make a plaything out of all this irony

Did he know my family’s sins take the shape of nails

That every generation needs someone to lay themselves on the cross

Did Jesus know his death could never be enough

That rebirth can be as painful as dying

Did the Holy Spirit also not make a mother out of a broken maiden without asking her

Would Mary have aborted Jesus if she knew he was gonna be sacrificed for others sins anyway

If she knew his father would write his purpose as a fix for his mistakes

Mothers birthing babies just for them to become martyrs

Just to see their mothers in their children before they see them in the mirror

Just to discover there is no running

Only facing it all head first while avoiding your child’s ever watching gaze

If I have this baby & they grow up to be an abomination to the Bible

Will their life’s worth suddenly be up for discussion

I can kill my child for disobeying God

But not for invading my life before I got to live it

Before I healed from the things that had me clutching a rosary until my palms bled

Do you pray to God for your own sins

Do you think he doesn’t see you making exceptions for yourself

God’s soldiers are killers too

Only they choose which death is righteous

I wish he knew this was a form of death for me too

That part of me was also ripped out & put to rest on that table

That I bled out & crossed my chest hoping if the rest of my body is empty I won’t feel the hole dug into my womb

But that we can both be reborn

Me, a person who believes I’m worth being alive

Them, an angel reminding me of the other side

Both of us at peace knowing our relationship across the veil is more bountiful than it would of been in the flesh

I wish he knew that I prayed for us too

That I love this baby more than he loves his beliefs

That I am willing to change for a child I’ve never met & he can’t change for the people he can embrace

I worship this sacrifice & promised it wouldn’t be in vain

And that’s why I let go

I’m sorry sir

Welcome to the unanswered prayers club

I sent that baby back up to the sky

I would rather them fly with angels in another realm

than drown with me in this one

Every time I pray I talk to my child

who knows God more than I do

And they always show me mercy

For the first time I see God everywhere I go

[robinsno1lesbian]

Hehehe i thought of a way older!nancy would fit into the neighbor!robin AU and im thinking like nancy is friends with both readers parents and Robin, I’m thinking like readers mom is also a journalist and works with nancy and well Robin obviously knows nancy.

But like she starts coming around to readers house more and accidentally walks in on Robin and reader🫣🫣 and Robin is like freaking out because her best friend just walked in on her and her neighbors daughter, but instead Nancy points out something Robin is doing wrong, like reader is possibly bound/being choked and Nancy points out some safety issues and well…the rest is history 🫣

neighbor!robin x nancy wheeler x fem!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1079

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), implied age gap (reader is 18+!!) , makeshift handcuffs, implied threesome, fingering, strap-ons, idk if that's a tw really but reader and robin get caught

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: literally screaming right now vix OH MY GOD- idk if this is still considered a drabble but enjoy <33 (also smut right below the cut so beware of that)

robin loves to make you scream.

and with how she’s pounding into you right now, you’ve got every reason to.

your arms are tied to your headboard, right above your head. you can’t move and you can hardly see, tears streaming down the side of your face. trails of mascara run down your cheeks, all because of how good it feels to be fucked mindless by robin buckley.

her belt has been wrapped around your arms multiple times, before she has tied it to your bed. you can hardly move like that, with no other choice left but to take all she’s giving you.

and god, she’s giving you plenty.

“oh my god robin, fuck”

her skilled fingers flick your clit before they return to your entrance, meeting no resistance at all as she dips them into you. your head falls back and your back arches when two of her fingers penetrate you. her digits are slim and long -much longer than yours- reaching depths you could never reach on your own.

you’re quite literally squirming beneath her, your body moving against her hand while she’s fucking you into literal oblivion.

you have lost all track of time, that’s how good she is making you feel. it must have been hours since she first entered your room and the aftershocks of your previous orgasms are still rippling through you.

and now your third one of the afternoon is about to flood your veins. the hot coil is already tightening in your lower abdomen, the sensation so good your eyes roll back in your head.

“f-fuck robin i’m almost- i-“ you cry. “you’re- you’re gonna make me cum again robin-“

but before she can push you over the edge by just one more thrust of her fingers, the door to your room flies open and you’re completely taken aback.

you're on the edge of cumming and yet your brain is no longer foggy with the build-up of your orgasm. you are thinking crystal clear now, fully capable of understanding that you and robin have been caught.

robin notices right after you do. she immediately jumps back and throws a blanket over your exposed lower body, leaving your breasts on full display to whoever has walked in on you.

“holy shit i- i’m so sorry”

the voice causes your head to spin; it is one you recognize. a voice you know all too well.

the person standing in your doorway is nancy wheeler.

of course, it is nancy: the two of you were supposed to meet up today. realization dawns on you, it truly must have been several hours of this.

and now you're spread out on your bed, hands still tied above your head, without a chance to cover yourself or robin. truth be told, there is no way to excuse what you've been doing.

"nancy oh my god" robin jumps up to stand in front of the bed, trying to get in the way of nancy's gaze. "this isn't- i can explain"

the sound of robin's voice is so unfamiliar. you've never seen her this freaked out, this scared. "look we- i mean i-" her voice is trembling now and even though you can't see her face from where you're laying, you know fear must be written all over it. never has she ever been this way around you.

"jesus buckley" you could be mistaken but is that amusement in nancy wheeler's voice? "don't worry about it" nancy's heels click against the floor when she steps closer. something in robin's posture changes too, like tension is released from her body. "i-" "shh" nancy hushes and cuts her off. she's standing right in front of robin now, staring up at here calmly. "i wanna show you something" her gaze meets yours for a second. "is that okay?" your throat has gone dry and it takes all your strength to speak up. "y-yeah" immediately, she looks back up at robin. "see the way you've tied her to the bed?" something about her words, about her being here and not minding one bit, does things to you that you can't seem to wrap your head around. you want robin, you know that now. but nancy? you didn't think your little sexuality crisis could get any worse than this. and yet...the way she's looking up at robin and her eyes keep glaring over at you...it makes you want her in ways you've only ever wanted robin before.

the question seems to catch robin off guard, as if she had expected something entirely different.

"uhm-yeah" she nods after giving your makeshift handcuffs a quick glance. "fun but...you can do better than that robin"

"what?" "listen" she crosses her arms. "i can walk out of that door and pretend this never happened. i can forget about this if that's what you want. pretend like i don't see the way you've looked at each other before..." nancy taps her index finger against her chin as if in thought.

"or you allow me to help" you don't even bother to stop yourself from nodding, causing both robin and nancy to look at you. "you want this?" robin questions. she grins sheepishly and you know she has already made up her mind. "y-yeah"

nancy steps next to robin and leans forward, her arms resting both of her palms on your footboard. "what is it that you want?" you watch when robin crosses her arms, tongue pressed against the inside of her cheek. she wants a show and you're willing to give her that.

"ruin me"

that is how you end up on your front, with your head pressed against the many pillows on your bed. both of your hands have been tied behind your back by nancy who is now kneeling right behind robin. robin, who is currently pounding into you at a brutal pace, both hands on your hips. you can't see either of them, but you can hear their voices. "see? that's much better isn't it?" nancy mumbles. "she's taking it so well too, god-"

"isn't she?" robin leans forward, causing the strap to sink even deeper into you. her front is pressing down on you, her lips the closest to your ear they could be. "such a good girl" "please" you babble. "please please please" all while you're throwing your hips back against her over and over again, fucking yourself on the strap. "i think she wants us" nancy chuckles. "and i think we should give her what she's begging for, don't you robin?"

[lovelovelovelovelove987654321]

One Year

A/N: Hey guys!!! Sorry its been ages and ages and ages since my last fic. Genuinely so sorry. Idk how I feel about this one and the next one I'm posting, so let me know what you think. I live off of comments, reblogs and likes btw!!! Also this is NOT BETAD. SORRY!!

TW: mention of sex, mention of pregnancy, mention of miscarriage

Simon stands next to you, hands shoved deep in his pockets. For a long while, neither of you says anything. After a few minutes, days, months, years, he breaks the silence with a mumbled "Remember when we got our first house?"

When you dont respond, he continues.

"You were so happy. I was so happy. We were young and in love and everything was good." He says 'we were in love' as if he ever fell out of love with you.

A deeply sad and bitter chuckle sounds from him.

"It was just a shitty flat. Not even safe to live in, probably. But it was ours." It was really yours, if he was being honest. Everything in his life was yours. But once he'd puttered about the place, tightening screws and greasing hinges, it felt like it could be a little bit his. Just a little.

He pauses, swallows, squeezes his eyes shut.

"I fucked you in every room of that house." His voice is hoarse, pained.

"We called it fucking because we wanted to be, I dunno, mature. Cool. But it was making love. Everything we did together was making love." His voice gets quieter and quieter before finally cracking.

"You got pregnant. It was the singular best moment of my life when you told me." He makes a choked sound, "A kid would have been lucky to have you as a mom. We would have been lucky to have a id. But luck was never on our side for long, was it?"

He shakes his head sharply, moves on.

"Remember when we bought our house? When we got married? When we went to the ocean for our honeymoon? I do. I remember every blissfully happy moment." He chuckles again, but this time its actually a slightly happy sound.

"Every time I looked at you I was struck dumb by how beautiful you were. How lucky I was to have you."

He snorts. "I say 'was' as if you ever got less beautiful."

"You always used to asked me if I was okay, if I was having flashbacks. But most of the time I was just stunned by how perfect you were."

He takes a deep breath, opens his eyes.

"Remember all our anniversaries? The flowers and the smiles and the photo albums and the extra kisses?"

He waits for a second, as if he expects you to say something. When you dont, he continues.

"I loved our anniversaries, but really they were just like any other day. We always loved each other. We would always go do things together."

His voice drops again like he's admitting something shameful.

"I dont know what to do with my days anymore."

He confesses. "I'm re-enlisting, I think. If they'll take me. Maybe as a training officer. Although I always did hate the rookies..."

He pauses, almost smiles.

"I remember whenever I came home complaining about them, you'd just give me a kiss on the forehead and say they 'just wanted to be me'." "I always told you that that was stupid, because why would anyone want to be me? I'm nothing."

"And you would always say 'you're mine' and then I had to agree: all the rookies probably did want to be me. Anyone would." The silence creeps back in, thick and suffocating. "I have too many things at home now."

He whispers. "Too many florals. I dont know what to do with 'em."

His voice is barely audible. "I miss you. I love you." He gently caresses your headstone and lets a few tears fall. Its been a year since you died, but he still visits you daily. After all, the both of you had promised to talk every day, even if you were mad at each other. Who was he to break that?

[all4yoi]

Dear Jongseong,

pairing › jay x fem!reader

sypnosis › [name] has only ever known pain ever since her mother's passing.. but whenever she's about to lose herself, jay has always been there to her aid and remind her that life isn't simply about pain.

cw › 2.23k words - lowercase intended, fluff, angst, friends to ??, usage of substances, reader vomits, mentions of death, reader suffers from depression, su!cide attempt (overd0sing)

notes › it's okay not to feel okay, if you're going through something and you feel like ranting, my inbox is always open for you. i've just finished five survive by holly jackson recently so if you see any quotes of her here ikyk 🤞

"i don't want to, pa! just leave me alone!" you exclaimed as you threw the pill bottle infront of your father, messing up your hair as you breathed heavily.

the older man sighed, rubbing his tears away behind his eyeglasses before stepping forward. "you have to take your antidepressants [name]. it'll make you feel better." he calmly said, picking up the pill bottle you dropped infront of him.

"i promise."

"no, no, no." came your slurred response.

the elderly man let his tears escape silently as he saw his only daughter break apart in front of him, making no move to chase after you when you ran up to your room. he wondered what had gone wrong. instantly came to mind: indeed, his wife had passed away. three years have passed, and even though he was beginning to accept that his family would forever be incomplete, as he saw his daughter suffering from severe depression, he wished misun would enter through the front door, embrace him and [name], and reassure them that everything was just a nightmare and she's alive.

but a bad dream wouldn't last for 3 years would it? as much as he wanted his wife back, he desperately wanted his daughter back more.

So he dialed the only person that he was sure could calm [name] down.

"of course, i'm on my way." jay ended the call and instantly dropped the controller carelessly on his bed before getting his keys from his table and left his room.

"stop right there young man, where are you going?" his mother asked with a raised brow, putting the glass of water down on the counter and waited for her son's reply. his distressed face went unnoticed. "it's 11:30 in the evening." she added.

jay exhaled, opening his mouth but no words came out. he didn't know why he was so nervous.. was it because he got caught leaving the house so late, or was it because his head was full of you, you, you and only you?

"well? if there's no good reason.." the woman trailed off, extending her hand out, her palm facing the ceiling and gestured towards her son's car keys. this somehow made him talk.

"it's [name]! her father called and- ..a-and she's not feeling well.. fuck why am i stuttering?" he whispered a quick apology when he saw his mother furrow her brows with his foul language. "she just- i don't know mom! she just needs me okay? and the more i try to explain the more she's hurting alone!" he blurted out, brushing his hair back frustratedly.

his mother stood there startled, before nodding understandably. "okay, drive safe.. stay the night there if needed."

he nodded, hurriedly left the house and practically ran to his car and drove off.

jay held his tears back, his grip on the steering wheel tightening overtime that his knuckles were turning white. this had been a routine for 3 years straight. he'll either be in his room, out with his friends, stuck in a frat party before receiving a call from your father, and every single time.. he dropped everything and everyone who he was with to run to your aid.

he reminisced the past where everything was still all right. your mother and his sitting on a bench while the two of you pushed each other on the slide, or sneaking out and eating ice cream at a 24/7 convenience store. it hurt him that his best friend's whole word was taken away from her just like that, but he also didn't want to lose his own. he wouldn't forgive himself if something had happened to you. you were his job, his responsibility.

jay slammed the door of his car shut, running towards your house's front door and ringing the doorbell. instantly, your father opened the door, shooting jay a thankful smile. if jay had noticed the tear stains on the man's slightly wrinkled face, he didn't make it obvious.

"she's at her room, but she's locked it. it's been so quiet, and i'm so worried jongseong." with that, jay ran up the stairs and pressed his ear on your bedroom door once he has reached it.

and just like hajoon said, your father, it was quiet. too quiet for his liking.

"[name]?" knock knock. no answer

"it's seongie, can you let me in?" four knocks, still no answer. he was getting impatient.

jay didn't want to think the worse but he began pounding on your door, literally shouting your name again and again. his voice was cracking and sweat began forming on his forehead.

"call 911, please!" he shouted for your father who was already dialing the hotline. jay rubbed his face before breaking your doorknob.

once your door was open, jay's breath hitched at the sight of your body laying on the floor, unconscious. he had been too late. but he still ran to your side, pulling you up and tried shaking you awake.

it took him a moment to spot the pills on the floor beside where you were previously lying and shoved his index and middle finger in your mouth hastily, realization dawning him.

"i need you to throw up [name], come on, please." and once you've spilled your guts on your bedroom floor the paramedics has already arrived, the blue and red lights filling your room through the opened windows. jay choked back a sob, cradling your body. "you're okay, you will be."

he didn't know if he was reassuring you or himself.

"if i had just, chased after her." hajoon cried, his body shaking. jay's father pulled hajoon up, telling him that they should get some air together. hajoon complied and left the hospital with jay's father.

after the ambulance took you away, jay immediately informed his parents and they insisted they should be there for you and your father too.

"she'll be alright, jongseong." his mother rubbed his back. he didn't know why, but those three words angered him.

"she just overdosed herself with drugs and you're telling me she'll be alright?"

"well, i'm trying to be positive here!"

"well," he mocked, "it's not helping!"

jay has always been a mama's boy, so his sudden outburst shocked the both of them.

his mom exhaled and stood up with her purse, deciding to be the bigger person. "i'm going to get some food, call me if you need anything."

right when his mother left, a nurse approached him. jay instantly stood up, awaiting for the woman infront of him to start speaking.

"good evening, is any of miss [name]'s parents around?"

"nevermind that, is she okay? will she be okay?" the nurse blinked at him before nodding.

"yes, she will be. you were just right on time and it was a very smart move to make her vomit.. though we aren't sure when she'll wake up.. you can visit her right now if you'd like." jay felt like crying in relief, he thanked the nurse before entering the room you were admitted in.

he swallowed the lump in his throat and sat down on the chair beside your bed, the beeping of the machines were the only noise inside the room. jay didn't like seeing you like this, with all the wires hooked to you and your face scarcely displaying any color.. but at least you were at ease, finally, after three years, you were now experiencing tranquility rather than anguish.

"i'll wait for you.. but don't make me wait for too long, okay?"

it has been exactly 2 weeks since that night in the hospital. jay hadn't been himself ever since, he would space out during lectures, staying up all night hoping he'd get a call from the hospital or your dad.

jay was seated in the cafeteria with his friends when he received a call from your dad. he immediately excused himself, answering the phone as soon as he stood up.

"she's awake, jongseong."

that was all he had to hear before he was taking his backpack from the table, ignoring the questions from his friends.

sunghoon: dude if u were skipping u could've taken me w u :<<<

jay: shut up

jay: [name]'s awake

sunghoon: oh shit fr??

sunghoon: k dw we'll cover for ur ass

sunghoon: drive safe and send our regards to your gf ❤️❤️

jay entered the room silently and he had to hold back himself from tackling you in a hug and just cry on your shoulder, but he remembered this wasn't about him.

"hi." he whispered, sitting down on the same chair he last sat on and placed the food he ordered on the way on the table beside your bed.

your lack of response made him gulp. slowly, you looked at him, unshed tears resting on your tear ducts.

jay cooed, "oh, [name]," and got to his feet, embracing you. he stroked your hair while he resisted crying himself, and let you cry on his favorite shirt.

"please don't cry." he said in a whisper and pulled your head away gently, wiping your flowing tears with his thumbs.

"i-.. i'm sorry, jongseong." another sob from your throat escaped.

"you have nothing to apologize for."

"i almost left everyone.. left you."

he shook his head and gave you another hug, putting his lips on top of your hair as you whimpered inwardly, "but you didn't, and that's all what matters now."

"[name]?" you hummed in response, your breathing finally going back to normal. you did no movement to pull away from the embrace.

he pulled away, caressing your cheek, asking, "promise me you wouldn't do that again?" you simply nodded, and he smiled sweetly in your direction. he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, "good."

jay stayed by your side the whole day, feeding you, entertaining you, showing you jungwon's his notes, and filling you in with everything you've missed for the past 2 weeks.

it was the first time jay had seen you smile so much after 3 years, and he felt content, knowing he was the one who was able to make you happy like this.

the both of you were happy, until it was time for him to go home.

with his hand playing with your fingers, he murmured in a lovely voice, "i'll come back tomorrow with the boys after school, i promise." once more, he gave you a tender kiss on the forehead before releasing you.

he was about to leave the room, but your voice stopped him.

"hey, jay?" he turned towards you with a questioning gaze. "the night that i.. i- uh, wrote something for you." you played with the folded paper, avoiding his gaze.

"i don't think i want to read that [name]." he said breathlessly, shaking his head.

"please, everything i've wanted to say to you is in here. please read it, if you don't.. well, i won't stop trying." you blinked at him, finally looking up at him. jay gulped, wetting his lips before accepting the paper.

"it's nothing bad, i promise." he nodded, squeezing your cheek before finally leaving the room with a wave.

when his mother asked, "how was she?" once he got home, he simply gave her a peck on the cheek and responded, "she's fine," before heading up to his room.

he practically threw his bag on the floor before sitting down on his bed, opening the folded paper with shaking hands.

dear jongseong,

i'm writing you a letter because i don't think i'll ever be able to tell you everything i want to say to you if i said this in person.. first of all, thank you, for absolutely everything. for being there in the wake and letting me cry on your shoulder, for tolerating me for 3 years.. i know at one point you were probably so tired of seeing me ruin my life. taking substances, skipping school, shutting you and my dad out.. i'm sorry, i was a fool of thinking i'd forget everything if i took those.. i thought i'd be okay on my own. so thank you, for always being there whenever my dad calls, i've heard every single thing you've said to me when you thought i was knocked out, and i love you too, seongie. but it's so scary, i'm so scared of love, i'm so scared of you being taken away from me, just like how mom was taken from me. jongseong, please never leave me, i don't know what i'd do without you, you and dad.. you're all i have left, please help me. please don't ever stop helping me until i get better, i appreciate you so much and i love you so much. i'm so thankful for you and at the same time i'm so fucking sorry. am i selfish for wanting an ending that's just you and me? i promise i'll be better, for you and for dad, and for me too. i don't know if i'm still here once you've read this, but if i am, please run back to me. please come back and never leave my side. i love you, jongseong, forever and always.

yours forever,

[name]

[igncrxntripley]

Hey hey.. it’s your fav Dominik simp 😮‍💨

It’s Mother’s Day in the UK and I lost my mother unfortunately soooo I was wondering if you could do some Dominik comfort if you’re feeling it?

(I’ll end up re reading jd smut anyway but I thought I’d ask 🫶)

loss

a/n: literally anything for you ❤️ i hope this makes your day, sending you all the love!!

synopsis: dominik comes home to comfort you on one of the most difficult days of the year.

tags: SFW, grief, loss, mention of death, crying, fem!reader

Nothing about Mother’s Day was easy for you; a holiday you once loved celebrating turned into a memory after you lost your mother almost a year ago. Dominik knew this day was difficult as well and he wanted to do everything in his power to make you feel at least a little bit better, but he also knew it was going to be difficult. He did his best though by sending you a voice message early that morning, as did your other close friends and family who knew how difficult today was going to be for you. 

You’d found yourself on the couch for the majority of the day waiting for Dominik to get home from the airport. You had a box full of pictures and anything sentimental relating to your mom in front of you, curled up in her favorite blanket as you sorted through pictures. Even though there was a smile on your face getting to see her in some of your favorite memories, that didn’t make it hurt any less. Tears rolled down your cheeks the entire time, and eventually you stopped holding back the quiet sobs that threatened to leave your lips. You didn’t even hear Dominik open the front door. 

When Dominik walked in and saw you, his heart broke immediately. He wanted to be home from the moment you woke up but he also had to work with a busy travel schedule. Luckily he was able to get home as soon as management would allow him, but that didn’t make him feel any less bad about it. Dom’s face fell when he heard your soft cries and he abandoned his bags by the door. “Babe…” he said softly, watching you turn your head to look at him as he made his way to the couch. “Dom, I-I…” you started to say, but Dominik shook his head in response and sat next to you on the couch. As soon as his arms were around you, you started to sob even harder. 

“I know, baby. I know.” Dominik whispered into your hair as he let you cry into his chest. He shifted your body so it was in his lap and his grip tightened on you. “It’s n-not fair.” You cried, and he nodded in response. “It’s not fair. But we’re going to get through it.” Dom responded, running a hand through your hair as his body slowly rocked back and forth. 

Eventually your sobs died down into sniffles, your hand reaching over to grab some pictures of your mom that you’d been looking at before. Dominik looked at them with you, letting you sit in a comfortable silence to grieve your loss. “She would’ve loved you.” You told Dom softly, making him give the tiniest smile into your hair. “She always told me to find a strong man to take care of me.” You looked up at him, his thumb coming up and wiping the tears from your cheeks. “I have a feeling I would’ve loved her too.” Dominik said softly. “Show me some more pictures of her.”

You spent the next few hours sorting through pictures with Dominik, telling him all about your family and the moments behind those pictures. He got to see birthday parties, special events, holidays, anything that was sentimental. He also got to tease you for the pictures of younger you, and you made a mental note to get payback for that later. 

Dom spent the rest of the day doing things with you that made you happy; he cooked every meal, watched your favorite tv shows, and ran a hot bath for you that you asked him to join. As you two laid in the tub, bubbles surrounding your bodies and you leaning back into his chest, you looked up at him with a smile. “Thank you for everything.” You said softly as Dom leaned down to kiss your nose. “Anything for you, baby.” He said, his fingers dancing on your skin under the water. “I know I can’t fix it, but I’ll do whatever I can to make it better.” You leaned up to give him his own gentle kiss, smiling for one of the first times that day. “You did a pretty good job.”

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Finally home after a long day of bullshit and laying in bed with wifey watching cody's showdy, and thinking about the line from Kenji that goes

"They gave Ken a couple of days to get his whole life packed in two bags. Just two bags, he couldn't even pack his clothes. And some folks didn't even have a suitcase to pack anything in, so two trash bags is all they gave them. And when the kids asked mom, "Where are we going?" Nobody even knew what to say to them."

The song itself is the story of the Japanese people who were interned in Manzanar, and the Jews who were interned in Germany. But it's also very explicitly about ANYONE who is made to suffer the pain and terror of being forced from your home with little to no hope of return or repair. "The names have been changed, but the story's true, my family was locked up back in '42."

This is a story about Palestine. This is a story about the California Wildfires. This is a story about Hurricane Helene. This is a story about COVID.

The county where I grew up was small, rural, and utterly without infrastructure. It's mostly dairy land, and I used to stick my head out the window and moo at the cattle when my mother srove her shitty little sedan down the highway to visit my aunt. In the 15 years since I left it has swelled by 2000 new souls, largely due to the reputation it earned over the years for having accissble and quality educational options for young children, a rarity in the state.

I started making this post an hour ago, and was looking for a way to check on my home town during the fires. I figured it would likely be safe given its location, but I wanted to know for sure. For an hour I searched for news, for an accessible map documenting the wildfires. For anything that would tell me whether or not the place I grew up was still intact.

I still don't know. I'm sure the information exists. But I am usually able to at least find SOMETHING in the span of an hour.

Information everywhere, but nothing that allows you to stop feeling afraid. Fear, pervasive and bone-chilling, is everywhere and safety feels scarcer with every passing day.

But is it?

This is a story about intergenerational trauma.

My grandmother ran home from her babysitting job one day, at 15 years old, sobbing and distrought, and told her mother what her charge's father had done. Her mother got her cleaned up and told her to never tell anyone what had happened ever again, and quietly informed the other mother that my grandmother would not be back.

When my mother was 15, she fell off a swing set while goofing off with her sisters. My grandfather told her she deserved the pain for her stupidity and not to cry to him about it since she could have been responsible. My grandmother told her that at least now they had an excuse to fix that ugly nose of hers as she iced her daughter's face, and brought her to the hospital right away.

When I was 15 years old, my mother had moved me across the country to a place where I knew nobody, where the sun never shone, where there was more snowy swamp than serene desert, and I screamed at her that she was taking me from the one place I'd ever been happy and she told me that I'd just have to get over it. I flipped her off, and she slapped me across the face hard enough to make the room spin around me.

When a parent loves their child through the lens of their own fear, they often raise an adult who has endured fear of their own from which to view the world. This is, perhaps, as inevitable as entropy and life itself. And the detail perhaps still influences how that plays out.

I cannot watch the news footage about the California Wildfires because I can smell the ash and feel my lungs tighten and sear around non-existent superheated smoke every time I do. No one ever forgets what that's like. But finding clear information about the realistic risk of my childhood home without 24hr news is difficult enough that as a professional information finder, I was unable succeed. My grandmother was, briefly, a social worker. She got into the job by accident, as is the way of things in my family, and rapidly became a small town folk hero to the community who could count on her to advocate for them. This did not change how she came home to her daughters. It did not change the fear she inflicted on the world around her as an outcome of her own terror. My mother managed the same level of (in)famous community notoriety because of her militant advocacy for same sex civil rights and prison abolition. It took me years to come to grips with what it could mean that I didn't believe queer parents should be treated as inherently abusive to their children while I **did** believe that my mother was abusive and wished someone would save me.

This is a story about breaking cycles.

Today, a man with power over me saw me vulnerable and afraid, and went out of his way to treat me with contempt and use his power to block me from receiving essential care. My wife got me through this experience and left me in the hands of the nursing staff while she helped a man get home from the hospital in the blizzard. When she was gone, the man returned twice more to take advantage of her absence to humiliate me and work to convince others to deny me medical care. When my wife returned, I had been shuffled out of sight, and while tests had been run, I had just been told I would be released with no treatment or symptom management. I updated my wife on the events of her absence, and watched her go very still as I whispered my way through my hurt feelings. When the nurse returned with my discharge paperwork, my wife stopped her and very gently asked "Is it common for doctors in this hospital to belittle patients out loud in the middle of the floor?" The nurse froze. My wife assured her she had been kind, but that it concerned her to hear of this upon return. The nurse immediately relaxed, assured us she would say something, and brought me a wheelchair to help me to the car. This was the most medical intervention offered to me the whole process.

My wife speaks often about how her understanding of conflict resolution began when a delegation of teenage Palestinian children arrived at her school to meet with their same-age peers. She says that sat and talked together for hours the way 15 year olds do, and then finally one of the visiting teens got up the courage to ask "why do your people cheer for our deaths?" My wife has her own focus within this story, but when she tells it I always hear the forlorn meowing of a cat whose home had burned during fire season the month before, finally back after fleeing the inferno to find their people, but there was no house to find the people in.

Fear is everywhere. That will always be true. So fill the world with community and love. Let the world heal over the generations of human life. Be there for each other in ways big and small. And remember that everywhere, we are all human beings doing our best to survive a world that has always been bigger than us. Whether we want to admit it or not.

[fellty]

discovered energy drinks recently. diary entry ahead

still figuring out my future, some health stuff as me evaluating life with the perspective that it could be short, though, it's not a huge concern yet and things are still very treatable. but, it is a concern to me, since the chance still looms in my head like a heavy stone. i like to think about the worst possible scenario, and roll as if it was a real reality, since then i've done the mental work to a degree, and well, i guess i want to have peace with that possibility (though, i will say, doctors have said right now the chance is low. it's just scary? who wants a chance like that at all?)

if i'm to take my health seriously, and think about my time being short, then i'd have spent a lot of time avoiding art because it made me uncomfortable, and then avoiding being uncomfortable by avoiding art. facing yourself on the canvas is a big task. my mind lives there, you know?

Synthesizing my sense of depression around not working on art, and also, my discomfort on working on art, has been a hard task. Autism floats around in there with masking having me wonder how much to be myself, especially online! how much is right? how much to be me? and at what cost? a prickly little balance.

all of that seems to live in my shoulders and back. my muscles tighten harder, my shoulders concrete and my lower back steel. what a cost masking has. i'm happier when i see rubber kitten roleplay than when i see ten people clutching pearls around it. if they're free, then i'm free too. (hell, the freedom to scoff and move on vs worrying they'll be attacked by a group with hammers.)

i think there is a certain discomfort in getting to know yourself if you're constantly in a state of moral panic about what being yourself even means to others. being predisposed to people pleasing as a kid has made moral panic on the internet a minefield for my mental health.

i think i figured why i never tried to become a doctor or a lawyer and doubled down on being an artist. 1) I really love art, and 2) i wanted to become something my dad could love as myself. i took that as a challenge, i could be better, smarter, but also i got burnt out quickly because i had to figure it out by myself. hating myself when i made mistakes was a natural outcome, because those mistakes were what made my dad dislike me. if i could eliminate those mistakes, then, i would be loveable, right? i accepted readily i was in the wrong, i was ready to be loved! every child is. hating myself was a mechanism of protection, i could be loved soon! wholly! if i was just better! lots of hope lives here, hope for a better me and a better world. the pain of that runs so deep, because as the mistakes pile up, with no hand to guide, and only scorn to give, you realize being small, silent, and still is the best course of action. it feels, safe.

the thing is that, that's not a reality where natural improvement exists. my dad didn't want a kid, and then had to contend with the reality that he had one. now what? i exist. i have all the same features you have that traumatized you growing up, that you never really contended with with a sense of love for yourself. i am so equally my mom and my dad, it's painful and freeing. i understand them, but i won't be them. I will heal myself and love myself.

it's uncomfortable. my parents react to a broader societal and generational trauma around mental health, my class room reacts, adults react, and pass it to me. there's such a mesh of pain i wish I could lift it all. i can only try and lift it in myself and not reinforce it in others, to celebrate others joyfully as they lift it in themselves. whewh. what a task.

it's uncomfortable to sit with that lore undigested while i draw. but i think the other reality i face is that if I don't actually dismantle that in me, i'll just be in pain forever. i want the life i wanted, i feel stubborn about it especially seeing other people live it with joy. me too!! i want this for me too!!

[discoveriesoftheself]

Miss Della

Summary: Louie and Della have a major argument, and Louie goes to his safe space.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 998

Also Available On AO3 !!!

There was a quiet thump as Louie lay back on the surface of the roof. The stars shone brightly above him, and he sighed.

This was exactly why he avoided Della in the first place. And not just talking to her, but talking about her.

He hadn't even meant to start anything this time.

"Just go to bed, okay? And clean up your mess first! No tricking your siblings into doing it."

"Yes, Miss Della." He rolled his eyes, missing Della's expression getting even angrier than before.

"What did you just call me?"

Everything blurred after that. He meant to listen, really, he did. But she just kept yelling and no one was defending him and he didn't even know what he did wrong.

The next thing he knew, he was on the roof.

He always ended up here. Staring at the moon. He used to stare at it for hours, wishing Della would just come home. Now, though he'd never admit it out loud, he sometimes wished she'd go back.

Those thoughts didn't make him feel any better. What kind of son can't call his mother 'mom'? Or wishes she weren't even there?

He had gone to the roof that night to count. Maybe the stars he could see from there. Maybe the streetlights no less than a mile away. But it seemed the entire world was against him tonight, as the clouds were dense, and it was clear he wouldn't be seeing more than three feet in front of him for the rest of the night.

So he just layed there, looking for something, anything, to keep him calm. Every now and then his breath would hitch, and his hands would tighten around the fabric of his hoodie so tightly it hurt because the only thing that mattered was he didn't start crying again.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but all too soon he felt someone step onto the roof behind him.

"This isn't our room."

"Go away Holli." Louie drawled, covering his face with his arms.

"Lou… Come on. Talk to me."

"Why? So you can go tell mom and be her favourite kid? News flash, it's neither of us."

As a moment passed without an answer, Louie moved his arms, peeking through his hands at Holli, who was staring at him with some emotion he couldn't place. (Seriously, how did people just read faces???)

Whatever it was disappeared as faer face hardened. "Here," Holli tossed something towards him, (his phone, he realised) and he caught it haphazardly, eyes widening as he saw the number ready to call on the screen.

"I don't-"

"It's fine, L. I'm not gonna tell Mom." Fae smiled tensely as fae lowered faerself onto the roof, laying down next to him. "I'm not gonna pretend I understand, but you're my little brother. I trust you."

Unable to come up with an answer to that, Louie simply sighed.

"She's super mad at me, isn't she?"

Holli laughed quietly, "Majorly. She stormed around the main hall for 10 minutes before Donald got her to go to bed.

"And Dewey?" He asked quietly, his breathing turning a bit shaky when he didn't get an answer right away.

"He's just… really confused. He's so happy to have her back that he'd do anything to make her happy," Fae started carefully, "But we're triplets, Louie. I promise we're always gonna choose you, even if it might take Dewey a second to remember that.

Ignoring the stinging behind his eyes, he moved closer to Holli, laying his head on faer shoulder.

"Promise?" He whispered.

"Promise," Holli said. "Always."

"M'kay."

The two sat there for a few minutes, until Louie was mostly calm and Holli squeezed his hand, standing next to him.

"I gotta go before Dewey comes looking for us. I'll keep our window unlocked, but if you need me to cover for you tomorrow just text me, okay?"

Louie nodded. "Thanks, Holli."

He watched as Holli ducked back into the window, shutting it mostly behind them. Taking one more deep breath, he stood up, picking up his phone, and dialed the number.

The phone rang twice, being picked up before he got a chance to get anxious that she might not be awake. The line stayed silent, clearly waiting for him to say something.

"Aunt Goldie?" He said, cringing at how his voice cracked.

"Sharpie? You don't sound too happy."

He laughed through the tears that somehow found their way back to his eyes. "Yeah, thanks for noticing."

"No problem, kid. Now what do you need?" He smiled at the sarcasm in her voice.

"I was just wondering if uh-" He paused, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat. "Are you in town right now?"

"Do you need me to be?" She questioned.

"Not if you're busy, it's fine."

"Never too busy for you, you know that. Tell me what's up."

"Can you…"

He paused, looking back at the window as if someone would come looking for him. Seeing it empty, his face hardened.

"Can you please come get me?"

For a moment he hears nothing but the shuffling of papers and the clink of what he assumes are either keys or knives. (The fact that it could reasonably be either never fails to make him laugh.) After a minute of that, he hears the click of a door closing, and then footsteps.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, shut off the cameras and meet me at the front gate."

Feeling the tension leave his shoulders, he sighed. "Thank you"

"Anytime, Sharpie."

He lowered the phone, his finger hesitating over the 'End Call' button.

"Aunt Goldie?" He whispered, lifting the phone back to his ear.

"Yeah?"

"I uh… I love you."

He heard the crunching of the leaves stop on the other side of the phone, and then nothing for a minute.

"… Love you too kid. Now hurry up with those cameras."

He laughed again, easily this time. "I'm on it."