#but they managed to stay on top of it and make some good sales

[victorluvsalice]

-->Anyway – back to Retail Time! And to the infamous lag on this lot, unfortunately. :( Based on what I saw today, it seems to be primarily tied to Sims actually BUYING stuff, as it seems to happen most often when people are waiting to be rung up or right after they’ve been rung up and they still need to grab their item. Maybe it's because I have a lot of mod-added items for sale? *shrug* Fortunately it wasn’t too bad today, with only a few significant instances, but still – meh.

Despite the game doing its best to stop them, though, the trio persevered, chatting with various customers and doing their best to get them to buy stuff – and succeeding pretty admirably! Victor talked a guy named Patrick into buying a block of beeswax for $18, then immediately rang up visiting teenager Ren for the same thing, while Smiler helped a kid named Wren buy a small $5 lettuce and some dude named Aarush grabbed an avocado from the veggie stands for $25. Alice, meanwhile, was working over an elder named Samuel – but as he found her unattractive (as per Wonderful Whims), I don’t think her attempts to get him to buy stuff worked very well. :p She thus went to ring up Agnes Crumplebottom for a $68 bag of fresh bread instead – fortunately distracting the woman from noticing Smiler lay a cute cheek kiss on Victor. XD Smiler then headed to the center aisle and let off a happy blast to try and improve everyone’s moods –

-->And at this point, everything started getting a little chaotic, as a bunch of people suddenly wanted to be rung up at once! Alice took care of a lady named Giovanna despite the lag’s best efforts, ringing her up for a $70 jar of honey, while Smiler discovered Alice had been more successful at convincing Samuel to buy than she’d realized and rung him up for a box of blackberry jam for $455. They also went around and rung up a kid named Taka for a box of vegetarian MREs for $482 (must be buying them for his parents). Victor, however, was the real winner of the selling spree, managing to sell a Happy Scent perfume to a “loiterer” named Joey (who REALLY had to go to the bathroom) for a cool $1,174! Maybe I should keep that in mind when I think about the future of the store...

-->With that taken care of (and a lady named Fetia snagging herself a $5 Cereberry in the background), Victor went ahead and did some more Scruberooing of shelves and fridges while Smiler and Alice kept attending customers – Smiler ringing up the kid Pierce for a $206 box of canned green beans, and Alice (after an ANNOYINGLY long wait) teen Sofia for a $517 box of strawberry jam. Alice then headed into the break room to make some hamburger sliders, as she was feeling hungry, and I noticed that Victor kind of needed to pee and sent him into the bathroom –

Only for another wave of “hey I would like to buy things” to hit the store! I quickly had Alice stop her sliders (though she DID insist on taking the cutting board all the way down the stairs...then all the way back up again -.-) and Victor stop his attempt to use the toilet and sent them out to help Smiler on the selling floor. Between the three of them, they managed to get Javier a $44 jar of mayonnaise; Liberty Lee an $86 butterscotch cupcake; the returning Ren a $734 chocolate pie; and Makoa a $29 jar of mushroom conserve. Oh, and Aarush came back and bought a plasma fruit for $10. XD Talk about a last-minute rush!

-->And it was indeed the last-minute rush, because I looked over at the retail UI, realized the shop had been open nine hours, and decided it was probably time to close up. So, after an aborted attempt to get Smiler to befriend a customer so she would let them have her plasma (they now know that Kasandra likes the color green), I had them shut up the shop while Alice went and finished her sliders and Victor finally got his bathroom break. By the time they closed at 6:30 PM in-game, they’d made a nice profit of $4,174 on everything they’d sold! :) Yeah, I know Alice and Smiler can make more than that just in royalties on their books and videos, but it’s still pretty good considering I have everything on "sale" prices. Anyway, Alice called everyone down to the basement to eat, and she and Victor enjoyed some sliders while Smiler had a plasma fruit and bred some frogs to create an additional plasma pack to drink. Alice then went to clean up her plate –

And for some reason headed upstairs to do so. Following her, I realized that what she was doing was clearing some rotten raw meat out of the “butcher” display – and that a lot of the remaining meat was ALSO going rotten as she did so. D: Cue me trying to coordinate her and Victor’s efforts to clean up all the spoiled food from both the meat display and the fridges (which lead to a lot of "placing a pile of dirty dishes on the nearest consignment shelf," annoyingly) while Smiler went around and removed a bunch of the “out of stock” signs from the shelves. Eventually, though, everything was cleaned up, with Victor and Smiler finishing things off while Alice caught a few winks on the break room couch (her werewolf instincts were demanding a nap) –

[occamstfs]

Ni Hao!NYC

Morally conflicted journalist puts off questions of ethics until it's just too late. Finally assigned to put his name next inflammatory content Sam finds himself more than appreciating Chinese culture.

Various white to Asian Muscle growth and racial change ahead!

Like many, I saw the final pictures on twitter and had to do something with them haha! Ended up with a piece just a tad different than usual! Hope you all enjoy! -Occam

Samuel Johnston knew he worked for a rag but as long as the checks cashed he could afford to mute his conscience. They made money not from sales so much as some rightwing think tank who wants their views affirmed in any way they can get it. So he lays low and pens little puff pieces, avoiding anything too controversial and introduces himself as an accountant to anyone he cares enough to lie to.

He’s quite adept at staying out of sight and mind when it comes to the doling out of any especially charged or problematic issues. Making sure to bury his own work any chance he gets, even using a pen name in case someone accidentally stumbles on his writing. It’s gone well enough so far he thinks! Sam tells himself that really working for NY:Red isn’t that bad, surely it’s even good that he’s got the job rather than anyone who believes the shit they write. Right?

No job is without its problems, he tells himself. So far he’s done a commendable job keeping his nose down with an almost supernatural ability to duck away from bigwigs or management. That is until now as he’s summoned by name to his boss’ side. His proficiency at staying off the radar of management has kept him from a one on one with the man in charge for some time, but now he is sitting on the top floor outside of Mr. Howard’s office, surely waiting to be assigned some horrible project.

“Come in!” Sam hears the surly man shout before promptly stepping into the gaudy office. He’s immediately taken aback as somehow the editor looks almost younger than he does in the many pictures Sam has seen. Sam hides his shock at the man’s jet black hair as well as he hides the general fear and disdain that begins to send adrenaline pumping towards his mind. Mr. Howard doesn't notice at least, getting straight to business, “I can tell from yer writing that ya like the city Sam, can I call ya Sam?”

Samuel opens his mouth to reply but the chief just continues on, “Anyway I love all yer little toilet paper stories but how do ya wanna write with the big leagues?” This time Samuel stays strong and gets a word in before being steamrolled again, “Actually I-” “I’m puttin’ you on the most important case we have Sam. Surely ya’ve noticed all this, what's da word, influx? Invasion? Bah. All the Asian shit that’s startin’ ta creep in on our city’s culture!” Samuel makes an awkward face as despite knowingly working for the racist, it’s different to hear the words out loud.

He holds his tongue out of shock or fear and his boss continues on his diatribe, “The last couple a schmucks I had on the beat just up’n left me high and dry can ya believe it! Old friends I thought!” He grumbles as he scratches his chin, moving away his hand it seems his beard thinned? He shakes his head in irritation and Sam would swear he saw his jowls tighten and wrinkles smooth over. “Anyway kid. Go out and do some prelim research. Have something on my desk by Friday or yer out just like those galoots!” Samuel stands for a second unsure if he’s allowed to leave before his boss looks up to glare with eyes Sam would’ve sworn were blue when he walked in.

Sam rushes out the door and to the elevator, riding it back to his floor, debating between writing a preemptive resignation or keeping mum and keeping on payroll for one last week. Profiteering from a culture war he may be but he’s not about to regurgitate genuinely racist talking points. He taps his foot impatiently as he thinks about just how cushy this gig is though. “Fuck!” He decides to call the only other confirmed decent human being he knows here, his friend Nick who works in the fashion dept.

The two go to grab coffee at a chain next door, Sam tries not to notice how they’ve started selling Vietnamese iced coffee. “Fuck man I can’t do it! Literally just one conversation alone with Howard was a wake up call.” Nick smiles like he has no problems with working for the dirtiest rag in the city, “Chill out Sam. Huward had my manager on the same beat and he, uh, Hidaka said that is said to just look busy for a bit and we won’t need to worry about all this racist shit anymore.” Sam squints his eyes at his friend, he’s not usually so easy breezy about work. He also racks his brain trying to figure out who Hidaka could possibly be. That can’t be his boss. No way Howard would let someone not white lead a department.

Seeing Sam lost in thought Nick reaches out and grabs his hand in a way Sam couldn’t imagine him doing before this second. In fact as the second drags on he stares down in the hand in shock, feeling the warm hand squeeze his forearm. He looks up to his friend’s face searching for any clue to the cause of this odd behavior. Sam smiles awkwardly and half-jokes “Hah hah, uh- Who are you and what’d you do with Nick… Hah.” Nick bursts out laughing, patting him on the arm jovially and leaving a hand larger than Sam remembers resting on his own. “Hidaka-san just showed me how to worry less about this job un?”

Sam inspects him closely for anything amiss, it looks like he’s picked up a bit of a tan? His hair is messier than usual and definitely a little darker, his skin is alluringly smooth and Sam can feel the heat his body is generating despite sitting across from him. Looking at his clothes Sam finds another surprise, his shirt almost looks strained! As if Nick has been hitting the gym for sometime, maybe it’s just been a while since he’s seen his friend in person? 

Assuaged in the slightest, Sam ignores the glowering red flags and follows this lede, “Woah Nick have you been working out?” Nick blushes and Sam at the very least sees his friend is as shy as ever. He goes to scratch the back of his head straining his shirt almost to its ripping point as he responds, “Ah a little haha! どうぞ(please) don’t you worry about me. Since you have no desire to write the article, why don’t you go ahead and check out the little Asian market down the street for fun? It was quite a good time when Hidaka-san brought me earlier this week!”

Sam awkwardly smiles as he wonders why on Earth Sam is suddenly referring to his boss like this, it’s almost like he’s performatively speaking Japanese. Taking a second to pause Sam looks at the haircut as hands unseen style it into something fashionable he puts two and two together. Thinking to himself, ah! Nick must just be a weeb! Tension disappears from his body with a sigh of relief as he wonders how he didn’t notice before now. He gets up to follow his friend’s advice, what better way to stick it to the man than support the people he aims to malign right?

He bucks up and grabs a Vietnamese iced coffee for the road, tossing a “Sayonara,” at Nick with a wink to which he perks up and slightly bows. Man, how did he not notice before Sam thinks yet again. Blissfully unaware, leaving just as kanji symbols appear on Nick’s keyboard and his friend responds to an email in a language he didn’t know this morning. Blue eyes growing coal dark as his tanned, increasingly muscular arms tap away at the keyboard.

Sam spends the bulk of his day at the little Asian street fair and has an absolute blast. Any residual stains on his mind from his unpleasant morning absolutely fade away as he goes from booth to booth sampling cuisine and chatting with diasporic cultures the world over. Time flies as he goes into journalist mode and basically interviews first gen Chinese immigrants about their time in the city. He finds himself beyond immersed in the conversation, continuing to learn from the couple as the tables around them begin to pack up for the day. 

He offers to help the older couple pack up and they happily take the aid, striking him bashful as they talk of what a sweet young man he is. “Wa! 哇强 (strong) Too!” The wife chuckles as she jokingly feels his less than impressive arms. He was having a better time at this little fair than he ever could’ve imagined, enough so that he thinks about going to stick it to Huaward then and there. Huaward? Whatever. His mind slightly off put by whatever that was, in an uncharacteristic act of transparency, Sam lets it slip that he works for NY:Red. The expressions on the kind couple’s faces immediately sour and Sam is quite shocked that they even know what the paper is.

There is a glint in the husband’s eyes as he starts to motion Sam away from any further aid, “谢谢 (Thank you) for your help, Sam. There have been a few, hm, bad men wandering around from that paper and I uh-” He looks around his table and grabs some miijiu they hadn’t put away yet. His wife nods, her face somewhere between rueful and hopeful as she watches her husband offer Sam the glass. “Again, 谢谢, er thank you for your help young man, enjoy this for the road 好的? (Yeah?)” The two turn to each other and begin talking to each other in mandarin alone and Sam takes the hint.

Kicking himself that he fumbled the capstone on such a pleasant afternoon, though finding solace in the rice wine he’s walking away with. He is blissfully unaware as the couple watch him drink and head down the street debating if everyone from that paper really is an asshole. Grimacing as they think about the vitriol spewed at them by NY:Red readers they decide they had no other recourse. Pleasant as he seemed Sam was consciously working on the side of hate and that could not be simply overlooked.

Sam quite enjoyed the rice wine the couple left him with, it immediately smooths over any lasting regret or concern about his interaction with the couple. They don’t know anything about him! He’s nothing like his other coworkers. It feels as if he’s had far more to drink than the small container they left him with should allow, but every time he looks down there always seems to be more mijiu to entice him. It would be impolite not to finish their gift he thinks; his confident stride quickly shifting to a stumble as he wanders home. 

His phone goes off as he gets an email from his boss, Mr. Huang?  Can’t be right. He squints at the email, deciding he must really have overdone it on the mijiu and stuffing his phone back in his pocket. Beyond the obvious difficulties in ambulation being drunk, Sam is unable to notice as his proportions slowly begin to shift. His ever-so lanky body begins to feel dull and heavy as the warmth of the wine fills his chest to capacity and then some as he leans against his apartment door, wiping his feet on an unfamiliar doormat. 

He kicks his shoes off by the door on some new instinct and immediately goes to collapse on the couch. His small sofa creaking as he puts more than his usual dead weight on it. His legs that usually hang off the end lengthen even further as his thighs grow meatier. Pecs press into the cushions as he snores. He is swiftly ushered into an unfamiliar dreamscape, the jubilee of the fair and the bewildering amount of wine he drank produce a vivid carnival of culture in his subconscious.

He sees the old couple at their stand and begins to speak with them in their mother tongue, seeing the delight as a load is taken off their shoulders. His dreamself seamlessly conversing with a fluency unearned. Sam stirs in the waking world as his mind existentially changes to match his morphing body. His blond hair grows thin and longer as its tint stains darker. Twitching in REM the green eyes that he prides himself on speckle with brown before they are entirely overtaken, becoming a rich cacao like the thick eyebrows framing them.

The discomfort of a new language forcing itself into this memory begins to wane as he prides himself on how fluent he is in both Chinese and English. His hand goes to scratch his pecs and he smirks in his sleep as they pulse larger, knowing pride is not the only thing surging within him. At the edges of his mind he feels the memory of learning a language, words written on a blackboard in chalk, English and Chinese both. For the life of him he cannot recall which of the two he’s learning second. An alarm set on his phone blares and he jolts awake to get ready for work.

Throwing on a shirt, Sam freezes as he sees his reflection. Hundreds of little questions seize his mind, those aren’t his eyes are they? Did he dye his hair last night? Are those abs? God his arms look good don’t they!? As they race through his mind and grow rampant they fixate on how attractive he suddenly feels. Rubbing his pecs and feeling them bounce he cries out to himself, “该死！Uhhh, Damn I look good!” He poses in the mirror and takes in every new angle of his powerful body. Taking note as his body hair seems thinner, and decidedly darker wherever it remains. He looks close at his pit seeing his once dense bush of curly hair thin out and straighten, before the memory of even having dense body hair is washed from his mind.

His phone goes off again and his work is immediately brought to the forefront of his mind. “Fuck I didn’t read Huang’s message!” He finds email after email from his boss, only the first few mention the wretched assignment they last talked about. Sam’s eyes widen as he continues to skim through the emails as the topic lines quickly show some drastic re-prioritization from his boss. Only then does he realize that he’s been reading his boss’ name as Huang. His boss is white. Rather his boss’ whole identity is based around being white! Huang isn’t, right? Incredibly he clicks the last email, subject line Vacation, and is immediately greeted with a mouth watering picture of a powerful man. Everything comes to a stop as he can’t help but gawk at this man’s body.

Ni Hao Sanuel- take the day off shi de? Still only half dressed Sam balks at just how bizarre this is, rereading the name Sanuel he is thrown for a loop as his mind reconfigures this. Tearing his eyes from the man’s torso he finally looks at the cocky face and sees a thread he recognizes,  “天啊! (Holy Shit!) That’s Mr. Huang!” He shuts his mouth before he drools like a dog at his boss’ arms. God, this is unlike him though right? He tries to dig through his memories of the editor in chief as the caustic racist he was yesterday, but with each uncovered the image of Huang changes as this dreamboat playboy overrides more of what was.

Sanuel readies to just stay in for this day of assigned vacation before he gets another notification, this time from his friend, Nobu? An image of Nick flashes through his mind, a handprint burns on his arm, and the taste of Vietnamese coffee dances on his lips. “Meet me on the boardwalk うん？” Sanuel rolls his eyes at his friend tacking on Japanese like that, willing his mind not to think about how his friend’s contact ID now says Nobu. Must be one of those, uh, his own thoughts trail off as he successfully abandons concern to head to meet his friend.

Nearing the meeting spot he looks for his usually cleancut friend, the only body present however is a massive Japanese man awkwardly flexing at himself in a reflective surface. Sanuel shyly speaks up, “Ni Ha-, uh Hey? Have you seen a guy named Nick around here?” The apparent bodybuilder beams and goes to engulf Sanuel in a hug shouting, “Oi! Shan! took ya long enough!” His eye twitches hearing the name, as this man effortlessly lifts him off his feet in a hug far too intimate for colleagues, and certainly from whoever this stranger is!

Shan pushes against the massive man, his body heat broiling him on this already warm day. He strains his eyes looking at the man grabbing him and suddenly it hits him, “Nobu?” The man promptly lets him go and pats him on the back with a laugh he would’ve never expected to come from his sheepish friend in the fashion department. “Wanna go have some ice cream or something Shan?” He feels the need to push back against his friend calling him Shan but as he hears it a second time he can’t recognize the names as anything but his own.

Shan pauses as he sees Nobu stop to chat with some Japanese tourists and something about the picture doesn’t sit right. God it’s that talk with Huang getting him all worked up again that,uh, racist? He clutches his head as contradictions between his past and present collide in his head and he slams his eyes shut as he cannot determine what is true about his current reality. Shan falls to the ground with a deep thud, slightly hyperventilating, his body grows larger as he takes deep breaths from the stress.

Hearing him collapse Nobu runs over to help him up, this time with more effort as his friend’s comatose body continues to put on muscle and grow heavier. Still, having the impressive figure he does, Nobu rather easily gets him on a bench and sits next to him, “クソ野郎？(Fuck dude?) You alright?” Shan slowly nods as his friend throws an arm around him. Looking down at his own arms as they pulse with muscle, he feels his eyes strain as the structure of his face begins to change.

Shan's jawline sharpens and his skin smooths. Stubble that has been a cornerstone of hiding his facial blemishes vacates as his hair stains black and flops longer. He feels clarity grace his mind as he stares at large hands on the ends of pale, hairless, muscular arms and he wonders if he is even himself.

He voices these concerns to Nobu who just laughs them off. “Hah! Of course dude, same Shan I’ve always known!” “那- that’s not my name Nobu.” His friend grins shyly in concern for his friend's mind. “It can't be my name. I’m-” grimacing before he continues as it takes everything in his power to speak against the realities in front of him. Memories of a world quite far away, moving to New York long ago, the youngest in a family of Chinese immigrants, “I’m white aren’t I Nobu?” 

Nobu can’t help but laugh again at the beyond bizarre statement. He jokes about Shan hitting his head when he fell. “You’re the most 2nd Gen Chinese わるがき(brat) I know bro! Imma go get us some ice cream while you chill out.” Shan stares at his friend as he abandons him, feeling his eyes tighten as they shift into the monolid eyes that his memories swear he’s always had.

Shan retreats into his mind racing against his changing memories to find a pillar of truth to grasp on. He sees himself at the gym with Nobu, his black mop of hair flicking sweat into the air as he poses with his bro. He sees just yesterday at the Asian fair, helping an elderly couple pack up their table, twitching as he would’ve sworn that went differently. He remembers sitting at the office getting no work done as he plays on his phone, 是的！that’s it! His job. There’s something there, if only he can remember what the problem was there.

He sees Nobu begin walking back with sweet treats, Nobu works at the paper too. Oh 呃/Duh! He smirks as he goes for his wallet to grab a business card. His eyes see the obnoxious red logo he knows before they read text that will send him irrevocably forward, Shun Jiang - Ni Hao!NYC. His body fills with warmth like a machine overworking as his mind races with information about his new reality. Sweat drips from his hair as he can no longer even struggle to recall his claimed existence as a bystander at the vile paper they produced. His brown eyes steep to a dark black as they glaze over.

“Shan-baka! Here’s a popsicle!” Nobu shouts as he returns to his overheated friend who immediately bursts from his stupor. “混蛋!(Asshole!) It’s Shun- thought we were close!” Nobe smirks as he starts to eat his own ice cream. Unable to recall anything too in depth he feels a pause as he wonders what his Japanese friend is doing working for a Chinese newspaper, before he answers it himself. Clearly his subconscious is more at place in whatever new reality he faces. Their paper is for all NYC’s Asian immigrants. Nobu works writing, or more often modeling, for Konnichiwa!NYC! Huang really was a genius for the idea.

Shun smiles, thinking fondly of his boss as he enjoys the short break from the summer heat that Nobu brought him. Back at the headquarters of their paper everything shifts from the rag it was and into a paper connecting the disparate Asian immigrants of the city, printed in any language they can find translators for, Ni Hao, Konnichiwa, Annyeonghaseyo, Namaste!NYC. Each day striving for a better, more inclusive New York City. Shun beams with his new face, no longer burdened with the just concern of his peddling vitriol, instead possessed with a desire to spread his culture far and wide.

———————————————————————————

As I was writing I remembered a similar series by the now gone Dumb-and-Jocked!

If interested do check out Horizon Zero: One, Two, and Three for quite a different take on a journalism themed Racial Change!

[ultrone]

When you have time, could you do protective Lottie headcannons?

𝗗𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗧𝗧𝗜𝗘 ⌗ pre-crash

n/a. of course i can <33 hope u like these

At parties or any social events, she doesn't let you out of her sight for one second, she's always standing right next to you, either holding your hand or resting her arm around your waist.

She drinks, but always makes sure to stay sober or to just get a bit tipsy so that she can look out for you. She lets you have fun, but doesn't let you get completely wasted.

"This is like your fourth cup, baby. I think you're good for the night."

If you complain or pout about it, she'll get a bit serious and take the cup from you, "C'mon, Y/n. I’m not playing." She doesn't say it in an annoyed manner though, just overprotective.

She then drives you home and won't leave until she sees you entering your house safely and locking the door behind you.

If you're too drunk she stays with you though. She helps you put on your pjs and tucks you in bed, "go to sleep baby, I'll go get you some pills and water," she says before giving you a sweet kiss on the forehead.

She then gets under the covers and big spoons you, holding you tightly the entire night.

Picks you up for school every morning and rests her hand on your thigh while she's driving.

She then walks you to your first class, saying goodbye by giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.

She always either has an arm drapped around your shoulders or holds your hand when y'all walk through the school hallways.

She's constantly giving you her yellowjackets' bomber jacket, the one that says 'matthews' on the back with big bold letters.

"Why was Nat sending you notes during english class? What did they say? Let me see them."

If you ever get hungry at school, she gives you money so you can get something from the vending machine.

And if you give her your best puppy eyes, she’ll take you out to your favourite restaurant during lunchtime, even if you're a bit late to the next class.

She kisses your forehead and the top of your head constantly.

She becomes an absolute menace if anyone tries to hurt you. At first she'll just be mean and use her words, but she's capable of getting physical — she usually has good control over her emotions, but she takes it very seriously when someone tries to harm you in any way.

You're her #1 weakness. She loves you so much she'd do anything for you. Once, you lost your favourite plushy, one you had since you were a baby but wasn't for sale anymore. You were so upset, that Lottie literally called her dad and bugged him until he agreed to call the owner of the company and somehow managed to get you a brand new one that looked exactly the same as the old one 😭

She cares so much about your well-being, to the point of getting paranoid about it. She's always making sure you're being healthy — eating well, drinking enough water, taking any pills you need to take, and she will scold you if you don't.

And whenever you're sad or upset, she goes to the ends of the earth to make you feel better. If you wanna talk, she listens carefully and reassures you and/or gives you advise. But if you don't, she respects it and gives you space, checking on you frequently and doing little things to make you smile.

[tw1l1te]

The Final Promise₊˚✩⊹

Chapter 3

Linked Universe x reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, soft and domestic, suggestive themes

You walk out of the bathroom, clad in Sky’ old Skyloft tunic and trousers, dirty clothes in your arms. You walk back into your room and stuff the clothes in your pack, noting to wash them the next time you get the chance.

You hear a soft knock at the door, noticing that Legend was leaning up against it.

“Old Man just wanted me to let you know that we’re leaving at dawn, towards Castle Town. Apparently we have some business to discuss with the resistance.”

Legend takes a moment to take in your form. The tunic Sky gave you was practically falling off of you.

“Oh for the love of- You need a belt… at least till we find you clothes that actually fit you.”

Legend leaves your room and comes back a second later with a leather belt. He walks right up to you and wraps it around your waist, tightening it enough to hold the tunic in place, but not tight to the point you couldn’t breathe. Adjusting the fabric, you hum at how much more comfortable the tunic feels on you.

“Better?” you nod “Good.” you expect him to leave, but he doesn’t. He takes your hands in his and looks at them. His hands are soft yet battered with scars and nicks, and callosed from holding swords for years.

He looks back up at you, searching for something in your eyes, but you can’t tell what.

“Leg? You ok?” you ask, starting to get worried about the lack of words from him.

You don’t expect him to kiss your hand, eye contact not straying from yours. You felt your entire body get hot, this moment feeling so intimate and yet, so natural. It was hard to pinpoint.

“Whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, I’m gonna do my absolute best to protect you. I won’t let anything happen to you Y/n, you hear? I promise you.” he whispered. 

You bring up one of your hands to brush through his blonde-pink bangs, and place a soft kiss on his forehead, staying there for a few seconds longer.

“I know, bunny. I know.”

~

That night was sleepless for you. You were up before anyone else, fastening supplies onto your pack and taking note of what you needed to get on your next supply run.

One by one, the heroes woke up and made their way downstairs, surprised at how early you woke up, as you typically were one of the last ones to be awake.

By about 6 in the morning, you were well on your way out of Ordon Village. You were walking alongside Wars and Four, both of whom were a bit too tired to hold a conversation, but you were more than ok with that. You needed some space to think.

What was up with Sky? Especially in the bathroom? You know things have been tense with the Shadow and constantly adventuring, but it seemed like Sky had something on his mind. You needed to find out some time soon, it kept gnawing at you.

And in terms of the other elephant in the room… you were still so lost. What were you supposed to do? You couldn’t just leave the chain, as if the past year and a half was a fun adventure or game. This… this was your life now… but you didn’t belong here. You saw how townsfolk looked at you, even sneering at you for managing to catch the heroes’ eyes. As much as everyone reminded you that you were one of them… you knew you weren’t. You weren’t involved in an ancient prophecy, wielded the triforce, or even came from any of their eras. You were nobody.

~

“But anyways, this bigass fish just came outta NOWHERE and I started slashing at it and using my hook to swing on top of it-” “Wind, stop overwhelming Y/n, I can tell she already got lost at the part with the redeads.” Twilight chuckled, throwing a smile your way “Plus we arrived at Castle Town.”

Castle Town was BUSY. Everyone was bustling about, trying to hit their sale markers for the day, advertising their goods and services. You saw an ancient wares and magical items shop, but Twilight quickly ushered you deeper into the town. You’d have to check it out later.

Entering a quieter alleyway, you make your way down a set of stairs leading to a bar in a corner, no doubt being where this “resistance” acclimated. You remembered playing the game and having a hard time finding it, but you liked the little quest. Despite being in Twilight’s Hyrule twice since you first met the chain, you’ve never actually went into Telma’s Bar. 

“Link? Is that really you?” Telma exclaimed, eyes wide open with disbelief. “Didn’t think I’d see you so soon!! I see you brought some friends along?” She said, looking at the boys and then at you “And a partner?” she asked in a teasing tone.

Twilight waved his hands “Ah, no! We’re not like that. These are all my traveling companions. We just came by to see if Shad and Ashei were around.”

Telma’s eyes flashed in recognition. She knew why we were here.

“They’re in the back, they’ve been here since last night. They’ve been expecting you, actually.” She said, towel drying a glass. You all thank her, walking to the end of the hallway.

Opening the door, you see Ashei and Shad hunched over a map, notebooks and books scattered across the table.

“Ashei!” you exclaim, you haven’t seen her in ages, especially since portal-hopping so often.

She gives you a tight hug, smiling at you “How have you been Y/n? Hope Link hasn’t been too rough with ya.” you giggle at her remark, waving her off.

“Nah he’s all good, just a bit stinky per usual,” you chuckle, throwing a wink back at Twilight.

“Y’all are actin’ as if i'm not ‘ere.” he laughed in disbelief, playing along with your joke.

Ashei rolls her eyes, pulling you along to look over the table.

“Alright, anyways, why you’re all here. So, we’ve been lookin’ at the map for a bit and compared our notes with the research team. They said there was a strong pull coming from the Arbiter’s Grounds, located in the desert. Link, I know you were last there with the Twilight Mirror, did you see any other mirror-like objects?” Ashei asks, deep in concentration.

“No. Last time I was there, the Twilight Mirror was destroyed as soon as-” he takes a breath. “As soon as I finished the job.” He says, a far off look in his eyes.

As soon as Midna left him, he meant.

“Right. Ok. Well, Shad did a little more digging and got permission to access Hyrule’s archives, even the forbidden section. Apparently, something deeper is goin’ on.” Ashei gestured at Shad, urging him to continue.

“Ahem, right. I looked through the historical texts in order to see the background and history of the desert, specifically the Arbiter’s Grounds. I looked for hours on anything unusual or anything I didn’t know before, but there was nothing. However, when I got access to the forbidden archives, there were tons of unpublished and banned texts, almost as if…” he trailed off.

“Nobody wanted the public to know.” Time finished, starting to piece things together. 

“Correct. So, after reading a bit, turns out there was, or possibly IS another mirror. However, not to the Twilight Realm or a time travel mirror. This one, apparently, to whole other dimension.”

You breathed out, not sure the last time you took a breath. This was a lot, but you had to hear the rest of it.

“The trip itself can take a few weeks, especially since warp locations have disappeared years ago. You’ll need to head to the Arbiter’s Grounds and find a way deeper underground. The map in the book says there’s a whole other tunnel system underneath what has been uncovered during the Twilight Siege.”

“The mirror itself was built by some cult. No one knows the name of it or if its still active, as the mirror was said to be built thousands of years ago, possibly even before the Twilight Mirror itself. The pages on the cult itself have been long ripped out, so as of right now its impossible to know how the mirror itself was made, their motives, and history of the cult.”

The room stayed silent, everyone taking information in as it was thrown at them. Legend was deep in thought, fiddling with his rings, a nervous habit you’ve noticed.

Time and Wars were looking at each other, almost communicating silently. 

Twilight had has hand on your shoulder, trying to comfort you or him, it was unclear.

Wind and Hyrule looked worried, unsure of the implications of the cult.

Four’s eyes kept flickering back and forth, as if he was conversing with the colors in his head.

Sky was biting his fingernails, another habit that you noticed from him.

Wild just seemed dazed, looking through you as if he was remembering something.

You just stared at the map, needing a few seconds to process. Holy shit. You might actually be going home.

“You alright, Y/n?” Time asked, placing a hand on your other shoulder. You nodded, not looking away from the map.

Before you could say anything, Twilight stated “Thanks Ashei, Shad. We’re gonna need to discuss a bit before we can go ahead. I assume y’all will still be here for a lil’?” he asked, waiting for confirmation from the two. They both nodded, leaving Twilight to usher you out back towards Telma’s Bar, the others following behind you two.

You all sit down at the bar, Wars ordering a few drinks for all of you, and sliding a pouch of rupees towards Telma as payment.

“Before you start getting guilty about changing our course, don’t. We want to help you, Y/n.” Time stated, not looking away from you.

He knew exactly what you were thinking, it seems.

“But its not your responsibility for you guys to take me home, or lead me there. It’s my responsibility.” you said, voice cracking. “Hell, I wasn’t even supposed to be here, I fell through the portal on accident, and I don’t know how the hell it even landed in my reality to begin with. You guys are supposed to focus on getting to the Shadow, not help me get home because I’m homesick.”

Wars sighed “Y/n, if it were anyone else in the group, we’d help them get home, no matter what. We’re a team. You’re one of us, so we’re going to do this for you. We don’t have to, but we WANT to. We want to help you get home.” He said, giving you a small smile in attempt to console you. 

You nodded, “Fair enough, I suppose. I’m not in charge of what y’all wanna do, but don’t do it because you feel like you owe me something.” you said, taking a swig of the alcohol. You needed to loosen up.

No one mentioned it out loud, but they knew what they were all thinking. After all, they are reincarnations of each other in some ways.

They’d do anything for you, you didn’t have to lift a finger and they’d do it. No questions asked.

You didn’t know that though. You just saw them as being too trusting and good for their sakes.

~

“Fuck my ears feel heavy!” you giggled, your face was all pink and you knew you were tipsy.

“I think I'm shrinking Y/n,” Four panicked, gripping his locks in his hands. 

“You’re Minish, Four. You’re naturally shrunken.” Legend mumbled, staring off into the half empty glass.

“Fuck, you’re so right.” Four groaned.

You leaned against Time, looking up through your lashes. 

“I think you’re realllll handsome, blondie.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhmmm!! It’s not fair. I want them golden locks of yours.”

“Other’s in the group have blonde hair as well?”

“They do??”

You take a look at the others, realizing your mistake “Oh.”

You turn back at him and sigh dreamily “But you’re just so…. Ugh!!! Like a…. Um…. hell I don’t know. I’m not good at metaphors and stuff. You’re just hot. Yeah. Real hot,” you say, swirling your drink for the millionth time that night.

Time just stayed silent, but could feel the blush creeping up his neck. You were drunk, it didn’t mean anything…. But it did. It always did when it came from you, drunk or not.

“Alright, off to bed, you. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” he said, collective groans coming from around the bar.

He made eye contact with Telma and slid over an extra 20 rupees for dealing with everyone’s shenanigans, mouthing a silent “thank you” at her. 

Without another word, he slung you over his shoulder and carried you upstairs, where Telma added some renovated rooms in the past few years, proving to be very helpful with the current situation, as he didn’t want to carry you outside for a few blocks to the nearest inn. 

He was gentle with you when he laid you in bed, but your arms were still around his shoulders, refusing to loosen up.

“You gotta sleep, sunshine. We gotta leave early again tomorrow.”

“Mmhh… stay with me?” you asked, slightly sleepy from the alcohol in your system.

Time considered for a moment. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

“Of course, scootch over.”

Time slipped his boots off and took off the breastplate and shoulder pieces of armor off, setting it against the dresser to put back on in the morning. You didn’t once look away. You couldn’t.

Your feelings have been so complicated with the chain the past few months. The past few weeks especially. You keep having… moments with them. Not tense, no, more… romantic or intimate. That wasn’t even how you wanted to describe it, but you couldn’t come up with anything else. You weren’t sure if you were reading into it too much, or hoping your 12-year old self was living her fantasy of being with her favorite character, but…. part of you hoped it was true. So when Time turned around, you were standing chest-to-chest with him, or rather chest-to-face as you were at least a foot shorter than him. Curse your genetics and lack of tallness.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry Y/n, I didn’t see you-” “Time, what’s been going on with you?” 

When you were drunk, you didn’t like to beat around the bush. But even with several drinks in your system, you’ve never felt more sober.

“I don’t follow.”

“Oh, I think you do. You’ve been acting off around me. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something?-”

“No, nothing like that-”

“Did I make you uncomfortable? Did I do or say something to make you upset with me?-”

“Y/n, no I-”

“If I did please just be honest with me because I might leave-”

He kisses you, deeply. You can feel your tears spilling from your waterline, fat pearls pouring over. You close your eyes, relishing this moment, praying to Hylia this wasn’t a dream or some mind game. You needed him. You needed them. 

You whimper into the kiss, throwing your arms around his neck, him groaning softly in response. His hands are gripping your waist, pulling you closer to him, as if he’s stopping you from running away. Leaving him.

You both hesitantly pull away, a string of saliva connecting you. You flutter your eyes open, looking at Time’s blown out eyes, him slightly panting. 

“I like you.” you blurt out, not wanting to waste another moment.

He chuckles at that, “You don’t say.”

You giggle, smacking his shoulder and muttering “asshole”.

With that, you both strip your outer layers and leave on your under tunics and pants, Time turning off the light while you get under the blankets.

You start undoing the small ponytail you made in the morning to keep your hair out of your face, but Time instead starts undoing it, leaving you to put your hands in your lap, waiting for him to finish. He places the ribbon on the nightstand and kisses your shoulder. 

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

₊˚✩⊹

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, I’m a 23 year old INFP. Due to childhood trauma and growing up in an abusive household, but ultimately I suppose due to my own personal struggle to take control of my life, I feel very behind and unaccomplished at my age. I have yet to finish my degree. I managed to get through high school with flying colours, but it turned out I was completely incapable of managing my depression and focusing on school at the same time. As a result, I’ve dropped out for the time being (I’m about halfway done) and have decided to focus on managing myself, personal development, and getting my finances in order before continuing school.

I feel a lot of shame and guilt for not completing school on time, as I’ve always seen myself as “smart” and “scholarly” I suppose, and was raised to hold education in high regard. To put things into perspective a bit more, I’ve always struggled with procrastination, getting things done on time and allowing my emotions to completely captivate me to the point where I easily neglect my duties. Despite this, I managed to get through high school as an outstanding student, but like I said earlier, this did not carry on into college unfortunately.

I feel like I’m less than half of the person that I could be. I also feel held back by my typology. I recall that you don’t hold much regard for enneagram, but I will just say being an INFP 4, it feels like I was born as the type most susceptible to failure. Now, I know INFP does not equal failure, as my best friend is also one and is a relatively successful business woman. However, she has things in life that I severely lack; adequate parental guidance, self esteem, and what I’d describe as much more developed Si. This isn’t to say things were handed to her, she worked for a lot of what she has now, but I do think that she was blessed with much more assets than I was.

I guess what I feel is that INFP is the least useful brain to have in a situation like mine. I have not a logical mind, nor a desire for any sort of order like Js do, and on top of that I was not taught any life skills, and all of my emotional intelligence was developed on my own, through observation. So, I’m great at giving advice, and horrible at applying it to my own life. I’ve been said to be wise, insightful, and particularly good at dissecting interpersonal relationships, yet nothing about my situation in life would reflect this, except maybe my relationships I have with my friends, to a degree.

I know I lack emotional intelligence despite being told otherwise, and this is something I’ve only recently come to terms with. I now believe if I truly had emotional intelligence, I would be in a better position than I am now. I have a tendency to avoid things that make me feel bad. I enjoy staying up late and staying in bed all day. I feel very unequipped to deal with society. I hate strangers, I hate being yelled at, I hate being invalidated, I hate being misunderstood, and all of these hatreds and my incompatibility with society were solidified during the years I worked (fast food, sales, and call centers). I am now very hesitant to get a job, I feel like I’ll be unable to succeed at anything I’m actually qualified for, as it often requires dealing with strangers. I don’t know how I did it before, but I do remember feeling dread during every work hour. I am scared to be in that position again.

I have a tendency to do more for others than myself. I’ll spend all day or longer writing an essay for a friend, or helping them with their homework, and yet I cannot bring myself to focus on my own studies. I can give a friend mountains of advice, perhaps even a detailed life plan, but I can’t begin to truly dissect my own problems and figure something out. It is so much easier engaging with someone else’s problems instead of my own. These days, I often feel like some sort of side character, someone meant to uplift others, but cannot experience any development for themselves. The narrative isn’t focused on me, although I so desperately want it to be.

I want to be accomplished. I want to be strong. I want to face strangers with ease. I want to be able to push aside my feelings in order to work hard. I want to be comfortable with myself, to be a beacon of hope for others, not just by my words and ability to connect with others, but by who I am as a person on my own.

But I am so inconsistent in my pursuits of self improvement, and so easily defeated. I’ve tried and failed a million times. I’ve improved myself over time, but the improvement has been minuscule and inconsistent. It isn’t entirely my fault, as there are circumstances I won’t get into that quite literally force me away from my goals, but I know that I need to find a work around and learn to cope with them so that I may one day succeed and leave these circumstances.

I just don’t know what to do. How can such a sensitive, reclusive, and traumatized person such as myself break their chains? Is it even possible to live up to the greatness I desire that lives only in my head? As an INFP born into such unlucky circumstances, am I destined to always fall short of the person I need to become?

My friends tell me that I’m a great person. They would say I’m capable and that they’ve seen proof. I am cursed with the knowledge that they speak with bias, and their perceptions of me are not based off reality, but by subjective feelings of tenderness. I feel like if anything, it’s been proven that I am incapable.

The only thing I’m really “good” for is giving emotional support to others, but that means nothing to society and absolutely nothing to myself. When I say this, I don’t mean to say that I don’t value kindness or the ability to connect, but that these “strengths” of mine do not realistically benefit my life. Being empathetic is nice for others who know me, but it hasn’t made me a more accomplished or skilled individual, and it hasn’t added any pride to my image. It doesn’t mean much to me if in the end I still can’t take care of myself and I still don’t have much value as a member of society. Especially when I look around and see how much more accomplished my peers who are much more insensitive than me are.

How do I change? How can I live up to my own expectations and standards? How do I fight back?

----------------------

You've brought up a lot of different points, so I'll attempt to break them down for you:

(1) Type Clarification: How did you come to INFP and are you certain this is the correct type? I am obliged to clarify this point because function development isn't going to work for you unless you have the correct type. Generally speaking, based on my experience with type assessment, there are certain warning signs that indicate a mistype, and you display a few of them, so it's important to double check before proceeding.

(2) A Problem of Perspective: What you've written is basically a narrative of your life that explains how you got to this point. What you don't seem to understand yet is that a "narrative" isn't reality. A narrative is merely a story that is told from a very narrow and specific point-of-view.

I always like to bring up the children's story The Ugly Duckling as an example of how a personal narrative can heavily influence one's perspective and lead one into forming faulty beliefs about oneself and the world. The main character of the story wasn't able to truly understand himself until he realized that his personal narrative was all wrong. You are in a similar boat.

Whether they realize it or not, everyone has a personal narrative, a story that they tell themselves about who they are. How do we know whether the narrative is a good one? Think about what a narrator does in a novel:

- A story always makes more sense and is more easily understood when the narrator isn't the main character but rather an omniscient or godly being that tells the story from an objective vantage point (third person perspective). As such, we can trust that the narrator is providing a full and factual account.

- When the narrator is the main character (first person perspective), you will find that the story is more difficult to understand for two reasons: 1) there is a lack of information due to lack of access to other perspectives in the story, and 2) readers must suffer the same distortions in belief and flaws in memory that the character suffers.

Knowing this, I will point out two problems with your narrative...

(3) Lack of Objectivity: The first problem with your narrative is that it is stuck in the first person perspective. You very much lack a bigger picture view of things, which is not an uncommon problem for introverts who struggle with tertiary loop. This is a sign of insufficient extraverted development, i.e., trapped in subjectivity and lacking objectivity. You're unable to see yourself and your situation from any other perspective but your own, to the point where you actively dismiss every other valid perspective.

Lack of bigger picture thinking is often correlated to depression. Your mind basically operates as though having fallen into a pit, with no view of anything but yourself. Spend enough time being stuck with yourself and every little thing that flits through your mind gets amplified manyfold, such that every ache and pain feels much larger than it really is.

If you are INFP, this situation should be remedied through auxiliary Ne development that would grant you a more open-minded, optimistic, resourceful, ambitious, and forward-thinking attitude. It's not about "shoving your feelings aside" but about learning to see things in a more positive light. The cure to being too negative is to learn how to balance it by being more open to the positive.

Healthy NPs never shy away from problems because they trust in Ne, i.e., they exercise their creative problem solving skills as necessary to get over hurdles and obstacles, even transforming them into something positive. So, why aren't you exercising Ne? What have you done to develop Ne? It is troubling (and perhaps a sign of being mistyped) when the auxiliary function is completely absent from your cognition.

(4) Poor Critical Thinking: The second problem with your narrative is that it was spun out of faulty beliefs. You've basically been telling yourself a bogus story, over and over again, and now you believe that every word is true. When a narrative is fundamentally flawed like this, the remedy is to change the story and make it more objective as mentioned above in point #3, as well as more factual.

While there are facts peppered throughout your story, your interpretation of the facts is often incorrect. You want to believe you have a good grasp of the facts, but you don't.

For example, the fact is that the education system, being as big as it is and not having all the resources in the world, cannot be much more than a crude one-size-fits-all approach to learning. As such, it's not going to work equally well for everyone. There are always going to be students with special needs or unique circumstances that won't flow smoothly through the system as planned. If the system isn't working for you, is it something to take as a personal failure and feel deeply ashamed about?

I used to teach critical thinking courses and there was one problem I encountered again and again. Many people think they understand facts, but the truth is that they don't even have basic knowledge of what a fact is.

For example: Yes, it is a fact that you were deprived a healthy childhood. Yes, it is a fact that you had to drop out of your studies. These things happened and they are provable. However, how did you jump from these simple facts to make claims such as "I'm a failure"? Calling yourself a failure isn't a fact but rather a value judgment, and in this case, it is an unjustified value judgment.

An easy way to tell whether someone has poor critical thinking skills is to see whether they can tell the difference between a fact and a value. You aren't able to, and many people aren't able to. Believing that you have a good grasp of the facts when you actually don't is how you end up with faulty beliefs. When you go through life with faulty beliefs, you're much more likely to take the wrong approach, make errors, and suffer from unconscious biases and prejudices.

People aren't born with good critical thinking; it must be learned and practiced. There are lots of resources for improving, and you ought to improve because it's vital for challenging faulty beliefs. However, deeply entrenched beliefs are difficult to change on your own because your ego is invested in them, so it might be a good idea to work with a cognitive-behavioral therapist. They can be your objective party and help point out exactly where your thinking is going wrong. But this is assuming that you're willing to open your mind to other perspectives.

(5) Emotional Reasoning: Yes, you are quite right that you need to improve your emotional intelligence. Throughout your story, I see many thinking errors that lead you to draw incorrect judgments/conclusions. But what lies at the heart of those errors is that your thought process frequently gets hijacked by unresolved negative emotions. Improving your emotional intelligence would not only help improve your mood, it would also help stop emotional reasoning.

In your story, you're trying to link cause and effect, in order to provide an explanation of the factors that led you to this point in life. This seems like a reasonable and logical thing to do. However, people who are prone to emotional reasoning often get cause and effect backwards or misattribute causes. When they're feeling bad, they concoct a story to explain and justify their negative feelings. In effect, they start with a conclusion and then selectively gather evidence to support it, which is backwards from proper logical reasoning that should start with the evidence and then draw the most logical conclusion from it.

For example, you claim that the only thing you're good for is providing emotional support, which implies that you're good at it. How can we prove this statement? One way would be to examine the results of the support you've given. Did people appreciate the support? Did it help them? Did it change them? If so, you can be said to be good at it.

But apparently what they say doesn't count as evidence. Somehow only you have access to the real evidence. Don't you find it odd that so many of your thought processes come back to you having some magical ability to access a deeper truth that others can't see? You call yourself a failure who is unable to do anything right on one hand, but then insist that you couldn't possibly be wrong when it comes to assessing yourself, on the other hand. This is the kind of contradictory thinking that emotional reasoning gets you mired in.

If being able to empathize isn't a skill, valuable both to oneself and others, then all the great friends, parents, caregivers, educators, coaches, doctors, nurses, vets, counselors, therapists, social workers, artists, musicians, writers, librarians, gardeners, and zookeepers should just delete themselves for their utter uselessness to society. Heck, I should just delete my whole blog right now because I don't get anything from writing this for you, yes?

There are absolutely personal benefits to be had from being empathetic. Through supporting and helping others, you can experience:

the dignity of choosing to be an honorable/humane person

the intimacy of deep and meaningful relationships

the satisfaction of reaping the fruits of your emotional labor

the joy of making a positive difference in the world

the awe of witnessing the realization of greater potential

It seems you can't recognize these benefits because they contradict the failure narrative and the negative emotions you're struggling with. Any evidence that makes you feel good about yourself must be rejected, right? Isn't it odd that you've closed off every path to feeling good about yourself except an impossible one, i.e., living up to some imaginary standard of what you believe all people your age should be? It's almost as though you are intent on believing the worst about yourself, so you set yourself up for failure with unreasonable expectations. But this is emblematic of how emotional reasoning messes up the mind.

People aren't born with great emotional intelligence. It's yet another thing you must learn and practice throughout life, that is, if you don't want your emotions to be out of your control. It doesn't matter when you start learning; it only matters that you start.

(6) Changing the Narrative: There are distinct patterns in our personal narratives, which Jung conceptualized as archetypes. Understanding these patterns from a more objective vantage point can help us craft a narrative that serves us better. At the end of the day, you are the one narrating the story, and you could choose to tell a different story at any time.

To give you an example, if I were to analyze your narrative, I'd say that your perspective is that of an "orphan". Orphans see themselves as rejected children, so their approach to the world is one of neediness for love but also deep resentment/anger about being abandoned. Orphans are prone to feeling: unmoored, confused, ashamed, helpless, hopeless, apathetic, fatalistic.

Of course, it's appropriate to feel: unmoored when you don't have a safe and stable home base to operate from; confused when you don't have enough social support; ashamed when you struggle more than others; helpless when you don't know what to do; hopeless when every attempt fails; apathetic when you get disappointed too many times; fatalistic when the odds seem stacked against you.

Nobody is saying that your feelings are invalid. What matters most is how you interpret the feelings and what you do about them. The problem is that, through emotional reasoning, you take your negative feelings and turn them into cynical judgments and then make decisions that leave you perpetually feeling like an orphan.

A narrative becomes sinister when one starts to derive some kind of egotistical benefit from it, which then breeds resistance against changing it. Are you willing to change your narrative at this point?

For example, many orphans keep telling the orphan story because it allows them to benefit from victimhood. Being a victim has its "perks". Victims have the right to self-pity. They have the right to rage against whatever they feel victimized by. They can also expect special treatment or extra care. As such, you will find that orphans often reject love and stay orphans in the end because they don't want to give up the "perks" of victimhood.

I'm not saying this example applies to you, but have you reflected on why you have a pattern of rejecting people's attempts to console you and provide you with evidence that you are actually a good and worthy person? Have you reflected on why you insist on telling the orphan story when other narratives are readily available to you?

For example, you could choose the "misfit" narrative. There are plenty of people, often INFPs, who march to the beat of their own drum and carve out their own unique path to success in life. Or, you could choose the "creator" narrative. INFPs generally love to use their imagination to come up with new and novel ways to live life outside the box. Why is it that you believe there's only one path available to you, that life is only about living up to society's unimaginative standards?

Or, you could embrace the "caregiver" narrative. It could be quite a heroic story, and it might lead you into a very meaningful and fulfilling career. Caregivers change people's lives for the better, which drives tangible and positive societal change. Yet, you reject this story and call caregiving worthless because you believe it is a "weakness" easily exploited. People mistreating you isn't something for you to be ashamed of. It is the perpetrators of abuse that ought to be ashamed and punished for their immoral behavior. How long are you going to keep punishing yourself for someone else's problem?

With regard to dealing with people, it sounds like you haven't learned about healthy boundaries. Boundary setting is a practical problem that can be addressed with practical solutions. Yet you turn it into some kind of grand existential crisis and make sweeping statements about the world. Do you really want to spend your whole life locked away, living in fear? It might feel good right now because it's safe, but in the long run you will actually be wasting away for not challenging yourself to reach your greater potential.

.

I'm not saying that any of these problems are easy to resolve. But these problems shouldn't be viewed in the traditional sense of needing a "fix" or that something is "wrong" (with you). These kinds of problems I've outlined are actually spiritual calls to change and improve. How do you change? It is through confronting what we lack and what we are afraid of that allows us to grow as human beings.

How can you live up to your own expectations and standards? Maybe a better question to ask is whether you've set the right expectations and standards? If you don't want to always feel bad about yourself, then you have to get up and start doing the things that will lead you to feel better about yourself. And we each have our own path to take to developing self-esteem and self-worth. Once you understand and respect your own individuality, then maybe you can exercise more self-compassion and allow yourself to live and learn at your own pace.

How do you fight back? I don't think it's necessary to "fight". Would you yell and scream and dump a flower in the trash just because it didn't grow as fast as the other seeds you planted? No, hopefully you would give it extra care to ensure that it has everything it needs to grow well. That's how you should be treating yourself. If you didn't grow up in an environment that taught you good life skills, then it is incumbent upon you to learn them as an adult, for the sake of your own well-being.

Life has enough challenges; you don't need to be fighting yourself. Instead of wasting time dwelling in fatalistic narratives, see yourself as a human being who is capable of learning and adapting. Learn to treat yourself well and cut out the noise to focus primarily on picking up the knowledge you need to progress in life, not just academics.

[max--phillips]

The File Room

This is the fic I wrote because I started a run of the mill office job a little over a week ago and couldn't help myself. Partly inspired by the fact I did, in fact, spend a good part of my day one day filing contracts away. Enjoy! (oh, also, tagging @miraclesabound as requested!)

Pairing: Max Phillips x afab!reader (otherwise gender neutral, no references to reader's chest)

Warnings: office shenanigans, Max sneaks up on reader and gets punched for it, reader gets eaten out from behind, piv, creampie, a little bit of spit plus something extra (but I'm not gonna ruin the surprise), Max and reader have an ambiguous relationship (ie not explicitly romantic but could be read as such)

Word count: 2k

You had a stack of reports that needed to be filed away. A big stack. And of course, because nothing can be easy, it’s not like they could be all put in the back of the drawer and be considered in order. No, they all had to be put in order in their respective accounts based on which reports they were and what dates they covered and on and on and on… Normally you wouldn’t mind doing this, because you were pretty good at staying on top of putting them away as you got them, a few at a time at most. But unfortunately, one of your coworkers from the sales department was recently… relieved of his position, and he left the big stack of reports behind. Completely unorganized to boot. You were going to be among the filing cabinets and bankers boxes for quite a while.

Honestly, while you were at it, a few of these accounts could stand to get reorganized… Lord knows some of your coworkers barely even tried to put these reports in the right spot… So off you went to the large room filled with shelves and filing cabinets, earbuds already in and playing your favorite music to work to.

A couple hours into your project, the door to the storage room opened. You didn’t hear it, so you were still entirely focused on your current task. You were putting away a stray report, bent over at the waist to get to the back of a filing cabinet drawer. This gave Max Phillips a spectacular view of your ass. And to make it all that much better, you just so happened to be wearing his favorite bottoms on you. He closed his eyes for a moment and brought his fist up against his mouth in a quiet celebration of this treat.

Max was the sales manager in the office, and despite being in a different department, you somehow managed to spend quite a bit of time together. You’d caught on like a wildfire when he started--after you’d managed to see through his extremely irritating caricature-of-a-business-major facade, that is, and made it clear you weren’t going to put up with his bullshit. That was when he asked you out for drinks after work one Friday, let you in on his little supernatural secret, and very thoroughly disproved your assumption that he was not particularly good, and certainly not very generous, in bed.

Max continued to watch you from the door as you worked for a few more moments, quietly locking the door because of course he was going to get a taste of you in here, how could he not? You dropped a small stack of files you had set aside, and cursed as they fluttered onto the floor. You got on your knees to gather them up again, another sight Max would never tire of, before getting back up and resuming your sorting.

Max finally decided to actually make his presence known. Clearly you were in the zone, your earbuds blocking out the rest of the world. He came up behind you, shamelessly taking your ass in both his hands.

You shrieked as you felt hands on your ass, scaring the hell out of you as you hadn’t heard anyone come into the room. You then whirled around, and, without thinking or registering who actually was doing this… punched the perpetrator directly in the face.

Max recoiled, bringing his hands to his face, as you realized what you’d just done. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hands, afraid for a moment you’d actually done damage or hurt him.

“Oh my god, Max, don’t do that! Are you okay?” you asked, reaching out a bit as you realized you’d definitely hurt yourself. You looked at the knuckles on your hand that had collided with his face, investigating for any visible injury as you clenched and unclenched your fist.

Max started laughing, standing back upright and taking his hands away from his face. “I’m fine, holy shit, if that was anyone else though, they’d have a very broken nose,” he said, taking your now aching hand in his, and looking at you with what someone might call adoration. “Are you okay?”

You sighed in relief, then took out your earbuds so you could actually participate in a conversation with him. “I think so. Don’t fucking scare me like that again, though.” You firmly poked him in the chest, glaring at him.

Max chuckled a little. “Message received, don’t worry,” he said. “Sorry I scared you. I saw how good your ass looked just a second ago and couldn’t help myself.”

You rolled your eyes. “Thanks. Do you need something, or did you just come in here to grope me? I have a lot of reports to put away now that your shitty employee is gone,” you said, gesturing towards the still pretty substantial stack of reports. “And I think I’m going to reorganize some other accounts while I’m back here.”

“Actually…” Max started, taking a few steps forward, making you take a few steps back, towards a table between two sets of shelves that was just below hip height. He let go of your hand and turned you around, moving you to bend over. He once again put his hands on your ass, then dragged them to your hips, then the waistband of your bottoms, which he pulled down and out of the way along with your underwear, letting the fabric pool around your ankles. He got down on his knees, pulling your flesh apart where your ass met your thighs, exposing your cunt to him. “I think I’m gonna do a little more than grope you.”

You muffled a moan as he licked through your folds, then prodded at your hole with his tongue. “Max… I really need to get this done…” you said, but only half-heartedly. You’d definitely much rather be doing this than filing reports all day.

Max hummed, the tone questioning your statement as his tongue moved again, his mouth enveloping your clit and sucking gently. It was a teasing motion, and it made you groan in frustration. “You’ll have plenty of time, sweetheart,” he said, mischief thick in his tone.

He licked against your clit again, then switched to sucking on it, and back and forth for a while, driving you crazy. You were getting close, you just needed…

“Max, fuck, please,” you groaned, reaching behind you and grabbing his hair, pushing him further into you. He firmly sucked your clit into his mouth for a long moment, and groaned into your pussy, which did you in. You moaned as you finally tumbled over the edge, only barely muffling the tail end of the sound. Max worked you through it, lapping up your release feverishly, until you were pulling his hair the opposite direction, starting to edge on overstimulated.

He pulled away, his hands going from the back of your thighs to your hips again as he stood up. “Don’t tell me you’re done,” he said. You looked over your shoulder to see his downright devilish grin. His face was wet with your juices--a sight you were quite a fan of, honestly. “Because I’m not done.”

You smiled as you pushed your hips back, connecting with his. Max grunted as his cock, still confined behind his pants and boxers, made contact with your ass, grinding together briefly before he took half a step back to unbuckle his belt and shove his pants out of the way enough to fuck you. You both moaned as he swiped the tip of his cock through your slit, then began pushing into you at a pace you would describe as teasingly slow given how ready you were for him.

“Are you teasing me to keep me away from my job longer, Phillips?” you taunted, though you were unable to stop the groan leaving your throat as his cock rubbed up against something delicious inside you, just like it always does.

“As if you don’t love this,” he said, snapping his hips forward the rest of the way, ripping another sound from you. You could only imagine the grin on his face at this point, especially knowing there was no arguing with that.

Max began fucking you in earnest, setting a quick pace right away--no matter how much he’d like to, he couldn’t keep you both occupied all day. He grabbed your arm and pulled you back to stand up against him, wrapping his other arm around you to rub your already sensitive clit as he did. You moaned out again, clenching down around his cock as he gave you more stimulation, which made him groan in your ear. He could smell your blood rushing in your vessels just millimeters below the skin of your neck right by his lips, but he would save that for when you were over at his place, not in the file room at work. He compromised by merely nibbling on your skin, then sucking a very visible mark to the same spot.

You moaned at all of the sensations he was bombarding you with, once again getting close to a climax, his expert fingers and cock slamming into that sensitive spot giving you no other choice. You should care about the hickey he just gave you, probably, but in this moment, it just added to the intoxicating cocktail he was serving you.

“I can feel you, baby, c’mon, give it to me,” Max mumbled in your ear. “Cum on my cock, I got you.”

You could never say no to that. You gave in immediately to his encouragement, crying out his name as you went over the edge a second time, your walls rhythmically bearing down on Max’s cock as you did. He moaned your name in your ear, hips stuttering as he closely followed you to his own peak, filling you to the brim. He slowed down as you both came back down to earth, dragging his hand from your clit to your hip, just holding you close to him for a moment.

Just as you thought you were out of the woods, Max bent you forward on the table again. You gasped in surprise--what else could he possibly have in store for you? You both made a noise as he pulled out, and you hummed as you felt his cum start to leak down your thigh. You gasped again as you felt Max’s tongue lick up the same path, gathering his own cum in his mouth.

Every time you think you’ve found everything he does that you find irresistibly hot, Max manages to surprise you.

Max stood again, and turned you around to face him finally. He grabbed your face, making you gasp in surprise again. He dug his index finger and thumb into your jaw at the joint firmly, and grunted, clearly trying to get you to open your mouth.

You obeyed immediately, and whimpered as he spit his own cum into your mouth. You swallowed, and he groaned, finally leaning forward to kiss you. You grinned into it, and let it go on for a while before you gently pulled away to pull your bottoms back up from the floor. Max followed suit, tucking his shirt back in as he quickly fixed his clothes.

“So… wanna come over tonight?” he asked, leaning against one of the shelves as you picked up a new stack of reports to put away.

You hummed exaggeratedly in thought. “Oh, I don’t know, Max, every time I do it’s so disappointing,” you responded sarcastically.

“Well, I bet I can make you ‘disappointed’ twice as many times as I just did if you do,” he snarked back.

You laughed quietly. “Alright, now, don’t make any promises you can’t keep,” you warned.

“Have I ever broken a promise to you?” Max asked, a very confident smirk on his face.

You honestly thought about it for a second. “No, I suppose you haven’t,” you admitted. “But we both need to get back to work. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

Max grinned, that genuine grin that made you melt a little bit every time you saw it. He kissed you again, a deep, lingering thing that was full of affection. “I’ll see you tonight.”

[thetriumphantpanda]

Cruel Summer | Javier Peña (Chapter Five)

Series Summary | Javier Peña is back in Laredo, this time for good. He hadn’t banked on you still being there, especially not with a wedding ring on your finger. A complicated shared history and plenty of unresolved feelings between the two of you should make for an interesting summer.

Pairing | Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word Count | 5.2K (oooops, I got carried away)

Warnings | Descriptions of domestic abuse (not from our boi Javi), talk of injuries, infidelity, cheating, SMUT, oral (f receiving) and unprotected PiV sex (please don't do this, be smart and safe), mentions of alcohol, cigarettes, and pregnancy.

Authors Note | Thank you all for being so patience with me whilst I got my head back into writing this. This took me ages to figure out in my mind but I'm so proud of what I've managed to produce. I really appreciate hearing what y'all think of this series, comments and reblogs really do make my day with this - so if you enjoy it, let me know!

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Ethan is furious. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so angry before. He’d arrived home late last night from his business trip, falling into bed sometime past midnight. He’d tossed and turned for a while as you pretended to be asleep next to him before he turned over, pulled at your arm to turn you onto your back and then crowded on top of you. You’d let him because it was easier than denying him, but when he pushed himself inside of you all you could think about was Javier. 

What would he do in this situation? You’d like to think he’d at least take some time to make sure you were enjoying yourself. Was he the type of man who would spend hours with his head between your thighs just because he liked the way his name fell from your mouth? You think he would be. Would he whisper sweet nothing’s into your ear in Spanish whilst he was buried deep inside you? God, you hoped so. By the time Ethan was spilling himself inside of you and rolling over, leaving you, as he always did, completely unsatisfied and feeling completely used, all your brain could focus on was the animalistic need to know exactly what Javier would do to you in bed. 

Now, as Ethan stands in the kitchen, fuming after he found the wads of cash from your farmer’s market sale, all you wanted to do was run. Run from this pathetic life and into whatever it was that Javier could give you. 

“I fucking told you I would get around to sorting it out!” He shouts at you, “And you had to go and completely disobey me! How does this make me look?” 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, “Ethan, it’s been pushing one hundred degrees the entire time you’ve been away, I need that new AC unit because otherwise I’m going to die in that shop, and I think a little bit of embarrassment is better than admitting to the town that I’m dead because you couldn’t be bothered to fix it.” 

“Don’t be so fucking dramatic,” He fumes, his skin flushing red, “I bet that asshole Peña had something to do with this.” 

“Because now every time I do something you don’t like it has to involve him?” You raged, “Newsflash Ethan, I’ve been doing things you don’t like since before we got married, and that certainly had nothing to do with Javier and everything to do with the fact you can’t stand me.” 

“Did he have anything to do with it?” 

You don’t know why you don’t lie in this moment. Maybe it would have been easier, less of an argument to deal with, but you can’t help yourself, “Maybe he did.” 

“I fucking knew it!” Ethan slams his fist down on the kitchen counter, “That asshole, trying to worm his way into my family, walking around this fucking town like he’s some sort of king because he took down Escobar,” You can’t help yourself but think that you might actually be able to see steam coming out of his ears soon, “And you!” He’s pointing a finger at you as he rounds the counter, “How many times do I have to tell you to stay the hell away from him, or are you just too fucking stupid to understand me?” 

It all happens at once. You’ve slapped him hard across the face and in this moment, you can’t tell which of you is more surprised. He’s stood inches away from your face with a look in his eyes that has panic settling in your stomach. He could kill you if he wanted to. It’s the first time you’ve thought he might, with his chest heaving and his eyes like daggers. You’re scared. 

“How. Fucking. Dare. You.” He spits out into your face, he’s got wide hands placed around the tops of your arms and before you know it your back is pressed against the wall, he’s squeezing the skin so hard that you’re crying out, “Someone needs to teach you some fucking respect.” 

If you weren’t so frightened, you’d have some stupid retort about the fact that it certainly couldn’t be him, because even with a ring around your finger you could never respect this man in front of you, but you keep your mouth shut. 

“Ethan please,” You whimper, “Please let me go, you’re hurting me.” 

“Oh, I’m hurting you, am I?” He jeers into your face, squeezing his hands around your arms even harder, “You should have thought about that before you fucking slapped me, stupid girl.”  

He pulls you back from the wall slightly before slamming you backwards again, the force of it causing the back of your head to hit the wall behind you, “You better lose the attitude or I will take us so far away from this place you’ll never see your stupid friends or your precious Javier Peña again, do you understand me?” 

You nod, sniveling through your tears, then he finally lets your arms go and steps away from you, “Get out of my fucking sight.” 

You don’t waste any time in doing just that, stopping just long enough to grab a thin cardigan and your car keys before your hurtling to your car with nowhere really to go. Your immediate thought is Javier, but it’s the middle of the day and he’ll be out helping Chucho on the ranch. You don’t think you can bare the heat of the shop, or the fact that you might have to interact with a customer, so that’s out too. There’s only one person left – Gabriela. There’s an internal battle you’re having with yourself, she’s so close to having her baby that you don’t want to intrude on her, but she’s the only person you can think of who will know what to do right now. 

You’re not really sure how you manage to make it to her house unscathed with the amount of tears that are dropping from your eyes and the way your hands are shaking, but you’re pulling up in front of her house in no time. 

“Good God alive, what on earth is the matter?!” She exclaims when she opens the door, pulling you into a hug, protruding belly crushed between you. 

“Oh Gabriela everything’s gone so wrong and I don’t know what to do.” You cry, sniffing into her shoulder, you pull away and briefly apologise for getting her shirt wet, to which she gives you a look that says ‘don’t be so fucking stupid’ before she’s ushering you inside. 

She waddles in front of you, clearly uncomfortable, and sternly tells you to sit at the breakfast bar whilst she boils some water to make tea. In no time at all there’s a steaming mug placed in front of you, and she’s sat herself down on the chair next to you with her own mug. 

“So, where do we start?” She’s coaxing you, hand holding your own. 

“I’m fucking miserable Gabs,” You speak softly, “And I don’t know what to do.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” She scoffs, “What’s he done this time?” 

“He found the money,” You’re looking into the amber liquid of the green tea in front of you, “Lost his mind that I’d done it without him, got cross because it was Javi’s idea and then told me to get out and leave him alone.” 

“Did he hurt you?” She asks, “And I swear if you lie to me once more about this, I’m actually going to lose my mind.” 

You nod, it’s small, but she catches it, and you can hear the inhalation of breath, “But it was my fault, I slapped him first.” 

“Did you slap him first all the other times he’s clearly hurt you?” You shake your head this time, “Show me.” She’s asking. 

You slowly slip the cardigan off your arms. You look down and there are perfect red welts on your skin where Ethan’s fingers had been digging into your arm earlier. No doubt in time they’d bruise, “Jesus fucking Christ.” Is Gabriela’s response. 

“I’m sorry Gabs, I didn’t wanna burden you with this I promise, but I didn’t know where else to go.” 

“You think this is a burden to me?” She’s imploring, catching your eyeline when you try to look away, “Cielito, this is nothing like a burden, it’s a bloody relief, I’ve been wanting you to tell me this for years.”

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew, dumbass, all those times you cancelled on me last minute and disappeared for days? You had to be hiding something, and the longer you’ve been with him the longer I’ve known he’s a horrible man – doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.” 

“What do I do, Gabs?” 

“Only you can answer that question, but that,” She points to your arms, “That’s assault, so you can go to the police, and then there’s always divorce.” 

“I don’t want to be with him anymore, but I can’t do this on my own Gabriela, I’m so fucking scared, he’s got everything, he’s going to take everything, I won’t have my shop anymore, I’ll be homeless, where do I even start?” 

Gabriela bites at her lip whilst she thinks, “You won’t have to do this alone, I promise you,” She’s got your hand clutched in hers again, “Can you give me a few weeks?” She’s asking, “I know it’s a lot to ask, but let me get this gremlin out of me first, and then I promise we’ll get you out, okay?” 

You nod in agreement because it’s more than you thought you’d get. The idea of freedom could surely see you through the next couple of weeks, “If it gets too bad then you let me know and we’ll sort something out, I promise, okay?” 

She’s hugging you then, the kind of bone crushing hug that only she would be capable of, and you can feel yourself crying again. What on earth had you done to deserve her? 

“I’ll get out of your hair soon, but can I borrow your phone really quickly?” You ask. 

“Of course, I need to use the bathroom again anyway, so I’ll give you some space.” 

Once she’s out of earshot, you’re dialing the number that you’d had memorized since high school, even with his years of absence. After a few rings someone picks up on the other end. 

“Hi, Chucho, it’s me.” 

“Ahhh Mija, how are you today?” 

“I’m well thank you, how about you?” 

“Not too bad thank you, just come inside to beat the midday heat for a while.” 

“Ah yes,” You smile, you’ve always loved the sound of Chucho’s voice, calm and stoic, reminding you of your own father, which is probably why you like it so much, “I hope you’ve got plenty of ice-cold lemonade,” You bite at the side of your thumbnail, “Is Javi there?” You ask, hoping it doesn’t sound like you’re trying to get rid of him too soon. 

“He is, let me just pass you over.” 

There’s the sound of shuffling on the other end of the phone and you can hear Chucho telling Javi it’s you on the other end, then there’s silence before he’s speaking. 

“Hola querida,” God his voice is like butter, “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” You reply quietly, “I just wanted to hear your voice, I hope you don’t mind me calling in the middle of the day.” 

“I wouldn’t mind you calling in the middle of the night, querida, don’t worry,” You can hear him drinking someone on the other end of the phone, “You sure you’re okay?” He asks again. 

“I was wondering if I could see you tonight?” You ask meekly, not wanting to make yourself a burden to another person today. 

“You can,” He’s replying, “Where?” 

“Can I come to you?” 

You can hear him shuffling a little on the other end of the phone, you can hear the shifting of paper, he must be looking at the calendar that’s hanging near the phone – his mother had insisted on it when she was still alive, and Chucho makes sure there’s a new one there every January 1st. 

“Yes,” He replies softly, “Pops has a poker game in town tonight according to the calendar, he should be gone by seven, is that okay?” 

“Yeah, of course, I’m happy with whatever is best for you, I’ll see you then.” 

“Alright, querida, take care and I’ll see you later.” 

“See you later, Javi.” You whisper softly before you’re hanging up the phone. 

You put the phone back on the receiver and rub your hands over your face, trying to ignore the pooling of nerves in your tummy. If Gabriela could sense all these years that something was off, then there’s no doubt that Javi will know as well. He’s the most perceptive man you’ve ever met. The dull ache of Ethan’s fingerprints on your arms were ever-present now, there was no way you’d be able to hide them from him. 

“You can stay here for a while if you want,” Gabriela’s voice calls from the living room, “I would only be folding baby clothes on my own.” 

You spend the rest of the afternoon helping Gabriela like she suggested, folding baby clothes, setting out diapers and toiletries in the bathroom and eating her famous enchiladas for dinner. Diego comes home sometime after five, giving you a hug, before he’s pulling out two beers which you enjoy with your friends in their back garden. The sun is setting and it’s nearing six in the evening when you bid them both farewell. 

“Please let me know if you need us, okay?” Gabriela whispers into your hair as she hugs you goodbye, “There’s isn’t a thing in this world that would stop us from helping you.” 

You bite back tears before you nod your head, giving Diego a similar hug, before you’re hopping in your car and driving out of town towards the Peña ranch. 

It doesn’t take as long as you’d anticipated but when you drive up you can see there’s only one truck parked outside which means Chucho must have already left for the evening. Javier is stood on the porch before you’ve stepped down from the truck. You make sure the cardigan you’d worn was buttoned up before you head over to him. 

“Evening, querida.” He speaks softly, dipping his head to kiss you on the cheek. 

Before he can fully pull away, you’ve got a hand on the back of his neck, pulling his lips to yours. His hands weave around your waist and you wrap your other arm around his neck to press your body more firmly to his own before you’re pulling away from him, breathless. 

“Evening to you too.” You smile, and it’s genuine. This man has done nothing but make you happy since he came back. 

“You want a drink?” He asks, giving your waist a squeeze, “I bought that wine you used to like drinking, although thinking about it now we were young so your tastebuds have probably matured.” 

You giggle and follow him inside, “They definitely haven’t, is it the white one that we used to drink out of the bottle against the tree?” 

He nods as he leads you to the kitchen, dipping into the fridge to pull it out. It is indeed the exact same brand of wine you’d get drunk on together when he was still around, “You want a glass, or shall we drink it like old times?” 

“Old times,” You reply with a smile as he undoes the screw top, “Can we sit outside?” 

He’s taking the first swig from the wine, pulling the same face he used to all those years ago, as he motions for you to head out to the back porch. You always loved this ranch at dusk. The way the sun set and bathed everything in gentle orange light, the fact there was no noise from the town to distract you, the sound of the crickets chirping. It was peaceful. 

Javi settles onto the bench, and you sit across from him, he leans his arm across the back of the bench and moves his head to tell you he wants you closer, so you shift your body to lean against his chest, head placed on his shoulder. You hope he doesn’t catch the discomfort when you lean too hard onto your arm and shift slightly, but if he does, he’s not mentioned it, instead, he’s passing you the wine which you take a drink from. 

“You sounded upset on the phone, querida, are you sure you’re okay?” 

You take another drink before you pass it back to him, “Ethan came home last night,” You’re speaking as you look into the distance, “Guess I just realized how much I enjoy it when he’s away.” 

“I’m sorry,” He says softly, bringing his hand to your arm to squeeze him into his side, it’s stings as he grips to the sore skin from earlier, but you think you manage to play it off, “What can I do to help?” 

He takes a long drink of the wine and then hands it back to you, watching intently as you do the same before you place the half-empty bottle on the floor, “Just kiss me Javi,” You speak, “Make me forget about it for a while.”  

“You want me to just kiss you, querida?” He asks, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, “Or do you want more?” 

You shift to look him in the eye, “I want it all Javi,” You lean up to press a chaste kiss to his lips pulling away before he can take more, “I’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?” 

He untangles himself from you and stands up before he stretches out his hand for you take, he must see the confusion on your face because he’s talking again, “If you’ve been waiting then I’m not going to fuck you on the porch, querida, come on.” 

You slip your hand into his and then he’s dragging you through the house and up the stairs. He opens the door to his room, which you don’t really take in, he’s motioning his hand for you to sit on the bed, which you do. 

He walks over to you and pushes your chin up with one of his fingers. He’s looming over you and if this was anyone else it would make you feel uncomfortable, but he’s looking at you like you were about to give him the world, before he’s leaning down and pressing his lips softly to your own. In the back of your mind you can feel him unbuttoning the front of your cardigan, it’s a relief because it’s so fucking warm in here, he’s pulling back from your mouth to push it off and then he stops. He’s not pulled it all the way off, the material bunching in the crook of your elbow because he’s seen. He’s seen the marks on your arms. Perfect red indentations of fingertips. 

He's kneeling in front of you now, between your thighs, as he takes one arm in his hand, “Did he do this to you?”  

“Javi please…” You beg him. 

“Did he do this to you?” He asks again, slower and with a register that tells you he isn’t messing around, you nod at him, “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” 

He’s standing like he’s going to get in his car and do it. You grab at his wrist, “Javi please, don’t,” You pull him back to you, “It was my fault.” You say softly, just like you had to Gabriela. 

“This?!” He’s back on his knees again, clutching at your arm, “This is never your fault, do you understand me?” He’s looking into your eyes again, then he softens, “It doesn’t matter what you did, you don’t deserve this.” 

“Please, will you just come back to me,” You plead, taking his face in your hands, “I need to forget him, just for tonight.” 

In the back of his mind he knows it’s not right, it’s just a distraction, and all he really wants is to know what’s going on, but the way your eyes are pleading with him, he can’t say no, “Only if you promise to talk to me after?” 

“I promise.” You reply almost immediately, and then he’s crowding you, he’s settling between your thighs but this time his lips are on yours and it’s overwhelming. 

You widen your legs as your mouth opens to him, tongues mixing together. You can taste the cheap wine and the cigarettes he swears he’s trying to give up on. He can taste a sweetness he’s never felt before when he’s kissed a woman. It fast and it’s messy, and you don’t understand why you’re moaning into his mouth when he’s not really touched you. Without breaking the kiss, he’s moving, you’re pushed back onto the bed and he’s settled between your thighs, and then he’s pulling his mouth from yours to trail hot, wet kisses over your throat. 

God, he wants to sink his teeth into your skin. Wants to mark you so that when you go home, he knows, knows that there’s someone out there who’s going to cherish you until his dying breath, going to protect you from men like him. He knows better, knows that you’ll be going home alone and any mark on your body would mean more marks from him, and Javi doesn’t think he can bare the fact that it’ll be his fault, so he sticks to kisses. He can feel your hands on his shoulders, sinking in through the material of his shirt and he wants more. 

He's pushing himself back from you, taking a moment to take his shirt off before his attention is back at you. You’re spread out on his bed, hair splayed out underneath you and the look in your eyes almost makes him cry. It’s admiration, that he’s sure of, but there’s something else in your eyes too, maybe it’s lust, maybe it’s happiness, he doesn’t know, but he isn’t sure a woman has ever looked at him like that. 

“God you’re beautiful, Javi.” You whisper as he leans back down to you. 

The feeling of your cool hands on his hot skin electrifies him, and he can feel his hands working your tank top up to expose the skin of your tummy. You lift yourself up a little so he can take it all the way off before he continues the trail of his lips over your collarbone and down between the dip in your breasts. He’s gently moving the straps of your bra down and takes the opportunity to undo the clasp at the back when you arch up into him. It’s discarded to the floor without a second thought and then his mouth is on you again. 

He uses the flat of his tongue to run hot stripes over your peaked nipple, whilst his fingers take the other peaked bud and starts rolling it between them. A whine drops from your lips, and you can feel him smiling into your skin and you arch up into him. He’s taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and then using the tip of his tongue to run circle around it and all your head can think is how much you want his mouth doing just this further down your body. 

“You tell me what you like, querida,” He mumbles into your skin, “Wanna make you feel good.” 

“Your mouth,” You breathe out, head thrown back as he’s sucking your nipple into his mouth, “I need… fuck… I need it lower, Javi.” 

He’s lifted his lips from your tits and you’re moving your head to meet his eyes and he genuinely looks hungry. Like a man starved, with a smirk splayed across his lips, “You want me to eat your pussy, hmm?” 

He’s pushed himself back on his knees and for a split second before he’s pulling at your shorts to take them off, you can see he’s half-hard under his own denim. You’ve barely touched him, and this is how he is? It’s got pride swelling in your chest. 

He makes quick work of your shorts, throwing them to the ground along with your underwear. He takes a second to look at you, spread out and bare for him, and he thinks that if he died right now, he would die a happy man having seen you like this. He takes his thumb and runs it gently along the seam of your pussy, watching as your eyes close and you let out a breath. 

Javi stands briefly before he’s dropping to his knees on his floor. His hands are on either side of your hips, dragging you forward. He pulls you with such force that you bump your thigh into his face, but he’s not complaining. You expect him to tease you, but it turns out that he’s been waiting just as long as you have for this. He wastes no time in using the entire flat of his tongue to lick a hot, wet stripe from the bottom of your pussy to the top, which has an obscene moan dropping from your lips. He could listen to you make those noises for him all fucking day. 

One of his hands moves from your hips, he uses it to spread your pussy before he makes the same motion with his tongue as before but focusing its entirety on your clit. You think you might see stars. Once he’d started, he doesn’t stop. Spurred on by the obscenity dropping from your lips like, fuckjavi that’s so fucking good, and please don’t stop, he’s eating your pussy like it’s his death row meal. He’s lapping at the slick that gathers at your entrance, he’s suckling on your clit, or flicking it with the tip of his tongue, but it’s when he pushes two of his thick fingers inside you that you’re truly coming undone. 

You’re bucking your hips up into his mouth, grinding down on his fingers and then it’s all coming undone with that bright burst of pleasure you hadn’t felt in years. You can feel your pussy clenching around his fingers, and you can hear him suckling your clit through the aftershocks as your legs shake around his head. He slips his fingers out of you and finishes with one chaste kiss to your clit before he’s pulling at your arm to sit you up. 

You’re jelly until he kisses you. You can taste yourself on his mouth, sweet and sour with the mix of his cigarettes and it’s intoxicating. You can feel his slick fingers on your thigh as he uses it as a crutch to push himself off the floor. When he stands, his groin is right in your eyeline and now he’s not half-hard. Fuck, he’s bulging. You watch as his hands undo his belt and tear it through the loops of his jeans before he’s unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans right in front of your face. He steps back a little to let the remainder of his clothes pool on the floor, but then he’s stepping out of them and back towards you and you can’t help but reach out and take his cock in your hand. 

You look up at him, head thrown back with his eyes closed in pleasure. Your name drops from his lips as you continue working him with your hand, you’re just about to take him into your mouth when he speaks, “How do you want me?” 

It’s a crime that he’s making you choose because fuck, you want him in every way. You want him to fold you in half and pound into you, you want him to take you from behind whilst he uses his fingers on your clit, you want him to wake you up in the morning with kisses to your neck whilst he buries himself inside you from the side. 

“Can I ride you?” You ask quietly. 

“Querida, there’s a gun downstairs,” He speaks, settling himself down on his bed on his back, before he’s guiding you to straddle his hips, “If I ever say no to that, I want you to use it on me, okay?” 

You’re laughing, because it’s dramatic, but it cuts the tension with a knife. You’re both still laughing to each other when you’re shifting your hips and using your hand to line him up with your tight heat. He’s big, there’s no beating around the bush here, and as you sink down slowly onto him, his hands on your hips to guide you, you don’t think you’ve ever felt so full. 

You’re throwing your head back and breathing out his name as he bottoms out, hearing a similar moan from him as you start grinding your hips. He’s using his hands on your hips to guide you and the friction inside of you in addictive. You think if you could spend the rest of your days like this then you would give up everything to do so. 

“Fuck, hermosa, you look fucking incredible like this.” Javi purrs from underneath you, it makes your heart swell because no-one ever said things like this to you before. 

You continue to grind against him until he’s holding your hips still and bringing his knees up, settling them against your backside. He lifts you up a little off his cock, with a strength you’d never witnessed before, and then he’s fucking up into you, cock punching as deep into you as you think you can take it, his balls slapping against your ass. 

“Ohmygod, fuck Javi,” You’re squealing, putting your hands on top of his knees to keep you steady, “I think you’re… oh god… I think you’re gonna make me cum again.” 

You look down and he’s looking up at you, grinning like a devil, because he’s got you so close to the edge, cock hitting a spot within you that feels like heaven and hell mixed into one, “Go on, querida, come for me.” 

His husky voice is what does it. You’re clenching down on him as you call out his name. His hands on your hips keeping you upright as dark spots cloud your vision, “God, what I wouldn’t give to hear that every second of the day.” He groans as he flips you onto your back in one smooth move. 

He’s still buried deep inside you, one hand brushing sweat-soaked hair from you face, the other gripping to your ass as he lifts your hips to meet him. He’s slowed but you can tell from the way his hips stutter into your own that he’s close. 

“Where do you want me?” He whispers into your ear. 

Everywhere, is what you want to say. Paint me, cover me, mark me as yours, is all you can think. What you say is, “Wherever you want.” 

You think you see his mouth open to answer you, but it’s too late. He’s pulling out of you, fisting his cock two, three times, and then he’s painting your skin with his spend. Thick ropes of cum cover your tummy as he's growling into your ear, collapsing next to you when he’s given you everything he’s got. 

When you lie there next to him, his cum drying on your abdomen, his mouth still kissing at the skin of your neck, you think you should feel guilty. Guilty that you broke your vows, guilty that you’ve let a man other than your husband touch you. Guilty that you did so without a second thought. Guilty that he didn't once cross your mind. There isn’t an ounce of guilt within you. You lean into his kisses and thank the Lord for bringing him back, for bringing him back to you, because you know this right here? This is happiness. 

PREV | NEXT

[feasibilities]

Gumshoe in Gross Pointe | Neil Lewis x Lisbon Sister!Reader

Synopsis: The last survivor of the Lisbon Sisters returns to Grosse Pointe...to the shock of everyone. Warnings: Angst (a bit), Fluff) Grief, Mentions of Suicide, Unresolved Feelings, Gossip Author's Note: This is the first of two parts so stay tuned. This wonderful story idea was pitched by @everandforeveryours. Sorry it took so long!

The suicide of the Lisbon sisters in Grosse Pointe was a macabre incident that barely haunted the small town. The residents were so disturbed that they continued their lives as normal. Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon quietly left with you to grieve the loss of 4 out of 5 of their daughters. The images of your sisters’ bodies burned you to your core. As your memory faded from Grosse Pointe, Neil never forgot about you. The friendship you shared had a profound impact on him. Your friendship began when he brought you a copy of Natalie Babbit’s Tuck Everlasting. You sat with him at lunchtime and walked home with him nearly every day. He would sneak you slices of coffee cake courtesy of his mother since your parents didn’t allow junk food.  Neil had deep feelings for you but didn’t want to ruin things. You were a mainstay in the deep recesses of his mind when you left the morning after. 

——

Neil was confused to see a moving truck out of the old Lisbon house. He decided to go onto his porch for a closer look. His eyes widened when you and 2 movers got out. You were just as beautiful as he remembered. Your presence seemed to get the attention of other residents, too. That house sat empty for years while the realtor decreased the price on the ‘For Sale’ sign every few months. Now, it was just purchased by the last surviving Lisbon sister. They thought you would never see you again—especially Neil. He managed to duck back inside his house before you saw him gawking on the porch. You occupied your mind with settling in and ignored the prying eyes of your neighbors. 

After moving in, you walked around the house aimlessly. Your psychiatrist suggested that you redecorate the entire house. You laid plastic over the wooden floors and put paint tape on the baseboards. A record player your mother reluctantly bought you as a graduation present was your form of entertainment for the next few hours. Your meticulous redesign was interrupted by a knock at your door. You opened it slightly to find a coffee cake with a note on top of it. You took it inside and read the note out loud. A gentle smile came across your face when you recognized the initials. 

I got your favorite.

-N.L. 

The next day, you decided to venture into town to get some tapes from Gumshoe Video. Some of the adults you remembered looked at you like they had seen a ghost. As a child, you could only look through the window when your parents weren’t around. Walking in, a man close to your age stared at you with a puzzled expression. He could’ve sworn that he recognized you but left without finding an answer. You walked to the vintage film section and saw Neil organizing the tapes. You froze in shock once you recognized him. To his credit, he was still as good-looking as you remember. Neil lifted his head to see you and his soul nearly left his body. He hastily pushed the cart of tapes to the side to get a closer look at you. He took your hand in his to make sure you were really there. 

“Thanks for the cake.” You said softly. 

“N-no problem.” He started, feeling a mix of excitement and confusion at your return.

“Well, can you help me find some movies?” You asked, squeezing his hand gently. He picked out some films based on your favorite books and walked you to the counter. 

“I got a job at the bookstore across the street. Cool, right?” You revealed as you pulled out some cash to pay the rental fee.

“Very cool. I’m happy for you.” He said sincerely, handing you the bag of tapes. He brushed off your offer and winked at you. You two shared a longing glance before you thanked him and left quietly. Neil thought of you until the store’s closing time and went home to think about you even more. A part of him wanted to confess all of his deepest feelings and fill you with all of the love he had to give. He also understood that you needed time to settle in. 

Neil took a bit longer to get ready to make a good impression on you at the bookstore. He walked in and saw you handing a little girl a Junie B. Jones book. Her face lit up with excitement. Neil tried his best to eliminate thoughts of starting a family with you. He watched her skip away joyfully as you went back to shelving. Neil stood next to you and pretended to browse the collection. You giggled at Neil’s poor acting skills.

“Can you help me find some books?” Neil said, nudging you. 

“C’mon, you have to be a bit more specific. What’s your favorite genre?” You asked, watching him panic internally. 

“Uh, romance.” He bluffed. 

“Hmm, what about this?” You inquired, handing him a smutty romance novel with a shirtless man on the front. Skimming through the pages, his face turned bright red as he realized what the book was about. He hastily put it back and cleared his throat to ease his embarrassment. 

“If you’re done pretending, I have some books that were adapted into your favorite movies.”  You teased, walking him to the register and handing him an assortment of books. 

“Read all of these and I’ll love you forever.” You said jokingly. 

“Deal.” He replied as his heart nearly jumped out of his chest while he searched for his wallet. 

“Just pay me later.” You said. Neil thanked you and began to leave before he stopped in his tracks.

“Um, are you doing anything tonight? If you’re not, you could come by and we could watch some movies. It’s totally cool if you can’t and-“ He started in an incredibly anxious tone. 

“I have to close up the store but I’ll be there at 7.” You agreed. Neil was surprised by how forward you were nowadays.

To be continued...

[roo-bastmoon]

The Long Game

First, let's acknowledge some major mismanagement by BigHit. Then, let's talk about what I think *might possibly* be their long game.

These are just guesses I have right now--I'm not stating facts and my opinions are subject to change as new info becomes available. But come with me for a few minutes...

In early 2022, Jimin's mail was "omitted" four times by BigHit employees, which lead to late insurance premium payments, which led to an on-paper "seizure" of his apartment. The press sat on that news for three months until the day his With You OST dropped and the scandal overshadowed his release. Jimin went to ground, avoided all social media for months. At this time, Jimin's personal information was leaked on the internet, and that was the last time we saw Jikook hang out alone that we know of.

Now in 2023, since Jimin's album FACE dropped, we already know about the sabotaged sales and streams by Hanteo, Billboard, YouTube, and Spotify. There was the issue with his in-ears not working properly during an encore. On top of all that drama, BigHit didn't get all the physicals shipped in time, they didn't playlist his songs for several days, they never sent his songs to radio (that we can see), they made one tweet to acknowledge Jimin's #1 on Hot100 but nothing else--not even a cake like the other solo albums got, they didn't let him film more than two music videos when they did that for their new groups, the press releases about their stocks going up after Hot100 also credited their new groups, and Jimin only had 9 days of uninterrupted promo between other members' works.

Now I am not a conspiracy theorist. I well understand that the military enlistment compressed schedules, and that each member had say in their creative works and promotions. I'm not a manti. But none of the above is a good look. Add up all those fumbles together, and you could make a solid case for mismanagement.

And now today, we see PD Bang on the cover of Billboard (which, OF COURSE, mentioned Blackpink in the same breath).

JUST LOOK AT THE WAY THE STORY IS BEING SHAPED FOR AMERICAN READERS. You see what's happening here? You think SM is gonna get a cover story for their side of the corporate shakedown?

And then there's this little gem:

"If your question is about the possibility of creating an artist like BTS again, the answer is no. However, if you were to ask whether there would be a K-pop artist from HYBE that tops the Billboard Hot 100 chart, my answer would be yes. [Jimin became the first BTS member to achieve this as a solo act on April 3 when his single “Like Crazy” debuted at No. 1.] The experience of managing BTS and operating different labels gave us access to powerful networks, infrastructures and experiences. With these, HYBE can repeat its remarkable results with the help of talented artists.

Okay so before everyone starts rioting online, take a moment, pause, reflect, think about what all might be going on here, behind the scenes, in this very political world of the music business.

Do I think Bang PD screwed Jimin over to score points with Billboard? No, I do not. But neither do I think Jimin's solo effort is anyone's priority but Jimin's.

"HYBE is primarily focusing on leveraging its accumulated expertise in managing and producing acts that consist of multiple members, rather than solo artists or mixed-gender groups in K-pop."

I think no one ever expected Jimin to make it to #1 on Hot100 and industry insiders felt pretty sure the West wouldn't let him stay in the top 10 the next week. Why? Well, partially racism. But mostly it's bad for their bottom line.

If your entire business model is that people pay for radio play and that gets them on your private chart and the private chart leads to more advertisers and awards... and then someone comes along and DOESN'T pay to play and gets to the top of your chart? Nobody needs you. So you HAVE to sabotage them. You absolutely have to change your rules. (I'm just sitting here waiting for Jimin to release his other songs so that Billboard can change their rules to say you can't be on Hot100 if your name starts with J- and ends with -imin.)

Now, it might have been satisfying for us as fans to see BigHit come out swinging and put Billboard on blast for his sake and ours. But they have ZERO. LEGAL. RECOURSE.

Billboard is privately owned and they can make whatever rules they want. They are part of a larger media company that has connections to every media outlet; no one is gonna publish an exposé any time soon, I promise you. We got exactly ONE English-speaking website to write about it and that was it. Everyone in the industry knows what is going on, and no one has the power to do anything much about it.

So what does that mean for the future?

Well... Bang PD just recently paid a HUGE mark up of $26 million to buy Trevor Noah's home out in LA.

And now he's on the cover of Billboard. WHY? Neither of these things will result in any immediate payout for him.

It's a long game.

And frankly, a very old and honored way of doing business. It's how they went up against the big three and it's how they are gonna go up against the West, I feel it in my gut.

Bang PD is getting a home on US soil. He will be paying US taxes. He's making in-roads by being nice with Billboard folks. He's making contacts; he's already had phone calls with Pharrell and Bieber and Grande and Laroi. Some of those are already shaping into collabs. We already know Hybe has set up shop in the US with Scooter at the helm.

Meanwhile, BigHit is adjusting in real time to the new rules around the charts (culling is happening to Yoongi too, so they changed up the check-out process of the BTS US Store). Suddenly there's plenty of focus on promoting via TikTok and other viral social media. They are dipping their toe into AI. They are discussing their own in-house ticketing option. This company is looking toward the future and hedging its bets.

Do I know with any certainty what's up their sleeve?

Absolutely not.

Do I trust any corporation very much?

Nope.

Do I have faith in BTS?

Probably more than anything else in my life, at this point.

So while I have no insider info, I just feel like the company is making very intentional and methodic footholds into the West. They are not complaining or screaming or suing or threatening anyone. They are not badmouthing competitors or whining about unfair deals. They are laying ground on complicated, political in-roads, one step at a time.

The Expo is in 2030. I'd wager by that time, BTS will have conquered the West and have some radio play.

And I think the company believes that in order to do that, they have to make their new groups profitable while BTS serves. They have to survive for the next two years.

When BTS is back, and their dues have been paid, I think they will be unstoppable. I hope they get to work on solo projects AND group projects. I think they will take over every corner of the world, if managed properly.

They just need to do it in a way that also assuages the Western music industry. The American Powers That Be have a chokehold on music and they will demand their pound of flesh somehow.

I strongly suspect BTS will never pay to play. But they will build relationships and find a way to become so interwoven in the cultural fabric that to deny them a place in Western spaces is to be left behind. And they will do it politely, and gently, and come out smelling like a rose.

So before you go off on social media and scream the walls down about neglect (and there WAS some, in my opinion) and abuse (we don't really know that), just take a moment to consider--if they had no legal recourse against Billboard, how can they beat them at their own game?

The best way to defeat an enemy is to make them a friend.

I'm just guessing here, but I think if fans stay loyal, BTS just might have the last laugh, here. I think they got radio scared as hell.

It sucks that Jimin didn't get fair treatment at this time. He is my bias and I feel it like a knife to my own heart. But he DID make history with his #1 and they can never take it away.

So I say give it time. All the people sniggering at him and BTS right now are going to sing a different tune in the future.

My best guess is that this is a long game, and it will require sacrifices that are totally unfair, but in the end... well, as long as BTS has ARMY, they cannot be denied.

Apobangpo.

[vanfleeter]

Matched: Chapter 5 - The Band or The Film

Characters: Jake Kiszka x Thea Foster Warnings: 18+. Angst. Language. Yelling. Arguments. Mentions of physical violence. Smut. Sex. Oral sex (f receiving). Fluff. The usual fluffy stuff. Mentions of pregnancy. A/N: Sike! I'm giving you the next chapter tonight! No more waiting! We have reached the midway part of the series. The whirlwind of this love story approaches soon.

The following morning I woke up to an empty bed beside me. It still feels warm as I brush my hand over the tousled sheets. She hasn’t been gone for long. Climbing out of bed, I slide on my slippers and head out of the room. The rich smell of coffee fills my nostrils as I descend the stairs. Stepping into the kitchen, I find Thea at the kitchen island with a book in one hand while the other cradles a cup of coffee.

“Good morning,” She smiles as she sets her book down on the table along with her book. “I just sat down for coffee, would you like some?”

She starts to move but I hold up my hand. “You shouldn’t be moving so much,” I say as I walk over to the coffee pot. “You should be resting.” I hear her scoff before the sound of the stool scrapes over the floor. She winces from the movement and I cross the kitchen to catch her arm. I look at her, the stern order in my eyes to tell her to sit back down. She returns the look, but with more sass as she slides back onto the stool. I can’t help but to chuckle and I kiss her cheek.

She reaches for my hand, the hand I had used to punch Sam in the face. It’s still bruised slightly, though it was managed to be covered well during the few shows that we have done. “Does it still hurt?” She asks as she gently rubs the pad of her thumb over my knuckles.

I shake my hand, placing my other hand over top of hers. “I’m a lot better off than you,” I say, crackling a smile on my face.

“Ass..” She mutters as she shoves me away.

I can’t help but to laugh and pull her back into my body. “I’m only joking, love.” I say as I kiss her forehead. “It hurts every now and then, but it’s healing just fine, according to our physician.”

“Good,” She says as she lowers our hands. “I still can’t believe you punched your own brother in the face.”

“Not the first time,” I say.

“But was it ever over a woman?”

I shake my head. “No, he and I have never fought over a woman.”

“And will you ever again?”

“No..”

“Good,” She brings my hand up to her lips and gingerly kisses my knuckles. “Because I am yours, you doof, and I always will be. Don’t ever question my love for you again. Do you understand?”

I smile and lift her chin with my other hand. “I love you,” I say before pressing my lips to hers. “I promise to never question you again.”

I never wanted to doubt her love for me, nor do I want her to doubt my love for her. I vowed to myself in that moment that my love would run deep for the both of us, for our future. I still think of creating a family with her, the three children still resting in the back of my mind, willing me to stay true to this love that we share.

I realize that we haven’t been together for a long time, but I knew from the first day I met her, she was the one for me. I saw her in every corner of my life, there wasn’t a space where her presence wasn’t missed. Even today as I show her my love in a simple kiss, I am thinking of her invading everything once again.

I wish to make love to her every day, take her out for romantic dinners or trips to the bookstore. Which reminds me that there’s a Spring sale going on at the store. Every book is fifty percent off for two days, ahead of a new shipment coming in. She’d like that–no–she’d love that. If I could buy the whole store for her, I would. Make a whole library just for her to enjoy. Well–for both of us to enjoy.

“You’re thinking again,” She says, pulling me away from my thoughts. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“I know there’s a sale going on at the bookstore,” I say. “Maybe we can go there tomorrow and pick out more books.”

“You’re walking a dangerous line by fueling my love for books.” She says, making me chuckle.

“Great knowledge comes from books,” I say. “Even the ones that are filled with all of those love scenes.” I see her cheeks flush and I smirk. “Yeah, I know what you’re reading.” She tries to give me an innocent smile, but I know her all too well. “You are a very naughty woman,” I say, kissing her again. She bites down onto my bottom lip as I lick my tongue over her top lip.

She releases my lip and licks her tongue over it. Immediately I attach my lips to her neck, sucking and biting and licking, leaving marks in a trail as I make my way down to the top of her cleavage. I press a kiss in between her breasts before falling to my knees in front of her. She’s only wearing her oversized shirt, seemingly having discarded her pants throughout the night. I feel her lean backwards against the island as I kiss the tops of her thighs. Voluntarily, she spreads her legs open, revealing her naked center. Seems she has discarded her underwear too.

When I happen to glance up at her, I come to find that she’s already looking down at me with a small smile gracing her beautiful face. I press my lips to the innermost part of her thigh and begin to suck at it before nipping at the sensitive skin. I hear her suck in a sharp breath as I swipe my tongue through her folds. I tease her a little, jiggly her now throbbing clit.

Her legs wrap around my head as I begin to devour her pussy. She’s completely soaking wet, her arousal painting the bottom half of my face as I lick and I suck. Thrusting my tongue inside of her, one of her hands flies to my head, entangling her fingers with my hair, while her other hand flies to the counter with a loud smack. She moans deeply as I feel her body lean further back, pushing her soaked core harder against my face, my nose adding the needed friction against her clit.

I grasp tightly to her ass, pushing her harder against my face as I delve deeper into her, as far as I can go. If suffocating myself inside of her is the way to go, then by all means, take me now.

My name slips from her mouth in a breathy moan, “Jake..” I have learned the movements of her body, what signals her impending release. She squirms ever slightly, chasing the needed friction she needs–craves–as her body draws nearer to its end. Seconds later, I have her gushing. The walls of the dam are finally breaking and flooding me with the sweet taste of her undoing. I devour every drop that she makes, not wanting to waste a single bit of it.

Once I clean her up well, I pull away, wiping the back of my hand over my mouth. I’m still on my knees as I lift my eyes to look at her. Her head is hung back still as her chest heaves with every breath.

Running my hands delicately up her thighs, I stand to my feet and lean over top of her. She opens her eyes to look at me, a lazy smile spreading across her face. I chuckle and kiss her lips.

“If this album can be completed within the next six months, we could have a tour as soon as the album is released.”

“Why so fast?” Sam asks. “Doesn’t it feel a little rushed?”

“Your contract is almost up, unless you decide to sign a new one, in which case you will be contracted to produce three more albums within the next five years.”

“And if we get this album done within the next six months, when will the tour start?” Josh asks. “Because my film just got accepted into a festival in New York..”

“Not until September.. First show will be on the 21st in Los Angeles.”

“That’s the same day as the festival,” Josh says. “I can’t do that. Can’t we push it forward a day?”

“No, the venue already has days booked for hockey games. This is the best timeline we got.”

“But my film.. I have to be there..”

“The band is your highest priority right now.”

I can see Josh’s eyebrows knit together, not out of confusion but anger. “This band can wait!” He shouts as he stands to his feet. “I worked hard on this film! I am not giving it up this time!”

“Josh, please calm down..”

“No, I won’t!” He pushes his chair back and steps away from the table. “I have given the last decade of my life to this band, to support Jake’s dream! I am just asking for this one day! One day! This could be big for me!”

“You have a choice, Josh, the band or the film. But if you choose your film, it will make you and the band look bad to the label.”

“Oh fuck the label!” He continues yelling. “I do everything that this fucking label asks of me!”

“Josh,” I say, grabbing his arm. “We’ll figure this out. Come on..”

“Don’t you ‘come on’ me,” He says. “Had you not come back from your stupid boat trip, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” He rips his arm out of my hand and storms out of the room.

I give a quick apology to the team before standing from my chair to leave the room. “Josh!” I call as I rush after him down the hallway. “Josh! Stop!” I finally catch up to him just before he steps outside of the building. “What the fuck was that?”

“That?!” He spins to face me. “That was me yet again having to give up my life for you!” He stabs his finger into my chest, his eyes flickering back and forth between mine.

“J-Josh, I’m sorry.. I didn’t know, but the band–”

“Forget about the band for one second, Jake!” He pulls his hand away and drops them both to his sides. “What about me?! Your brother! Your goddamn twin for fuck’s sake! Don’t get me wrong, Jake, I’ve enjoyed being a part of this, and it’s been amazing–but when will it be my turn?”

“Josh, we-”

“We? Who is this ‘we’?” He jabs his finger into my chest again repeatedly as he speaks, “You decided to be a fucking baby and take off on a boat because you got your heart broken! You left and we started moving on to our own endeavors because we didn’t know when you were coming back or if you were coming back at all!l

“I needed to leave!” I shout back. “I did it for me because yes, my heart was broken but I needed to get out and find me–who I am! I’m sorry that this is all happening so quickly all of sudden, and I’m sorry that your film is being pushed to the back burner again, but what am I supposed to do, Josh?! I didn’t want to come back so quickly either! Don’t you think I’d want to be in New York with you celebrating your film at the festival?! Yes! This is your chance to make a name for yourself in the film industry! Get your directorial debut and show everyone the fucking multitalented bastard you are!”

“But the fucking tour, Jake, it’s the same day as the festival.”

“Okay so we scrap that day and officially start the tour on the next one.” I bring my hand up to rest on his shoulder. “We can do this, I know we can. We are in this together–whether you like it or not, because face it, Josh, we’re stuck with each other for the rest of our lives.”

Josh chuckles and rolls his eyes. “You mean it?”

“Of course I do. Now.. Let’s go back to that meeting and make some negotiations. I’m not letting your dream slip through the cracks.”

As we make our way back down the hall and to the conference room, he stops me in front of the door. “On a scale of one to ten, how much of a diva was I back there?”

I shrug my shoulders, “Eh.. I’d say an eight–eight and a half.”

“Damn.. That’s gotta be a record.”

“No, I don’t think so. You weren’t nearly as bad as you were during that first festival show. Now that was at least nine and three quarters.”

“Oh fuck off..”

I laugh and pat his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you to that festival.”

Coming home that evening, I find Thea’s car parked in the driveway. She came back after work. Shutting off the car, I get out and make my way up to the door. “Thea?” I call out as I close the door behind me. Kicking off my boots and hanging up my jacket, I start to head for the kitchen when I spy her in the living room, lying on the couch.

Stepping into the room, I go over to the couch only to find her fast asleep and curled up underneath a couple blankets. Gently I shake her awake. She hums in response as she peels her eyes open.

“Have a good nap?” I chuckle.

“What time is it?”

“Almost seven,” I say. “How long have you been here?”

She sits up, the blankets falling from her shoulders. “Not long.. I was going to go home but I missed you all day..”

“That makes two of us..” I say as I lean back against the couch and pull her with me.

It was quiet for a few moments, neither of us speaking but just enjoying the silence together. I can’t help but to wonder if it will always be like this? How many quiet nights can the two of us be together before the chaos sets in? I have to tell her about what the next year entails, and if it would be something that she is ready for. Would she want to go with me? Willing to drop everything and follow me on tour when the time comes. I know she said that she would, but was it the truth? Or will I have to part from her again for six months and only get to see her on the occasional trips she’ll take out to visit.

After Josh’s meltdown, rightfully so, we managed to make negotiations with the tour scheduling. Instead of starting on the 21st of September, we’d start in October and that last week and half of September would then be moved to the end of the tour in March.

Six months. Could I live those six months without her constantly by my side? Sounds selfish, I know. That word seems to be a perfect way to describe us both lately. And we are selfish. Selfish for each other, for all of the time spent together and never apart. Selfish in the means of keeping each other to ourselves. I am selfish. I’ve admitted it before. But six months away, should she choose to stay back. I won’t force her to go, though I’m sure I could convince her to. I would never use the ploy of sex, but would she survive without my cock for that long? I don’t think any dildo will satisfy her needs.

God that sounds horrible.

“How was work today?” She asks, dragging me out of the spiraling of thoughts inside of my head.

“It was okay.. Josh and I got into a fight..”

“Jake..” She sighs.

“Don’t worry,” I laugh. “We just used strong words versus our fists, I promise.”

“What did you two fight about?”

“The band and his film… The original start date of the tour would have been the same night as the film festival. Management wasn’t giving him a choice and he blew up…”

“Oh..”

“He started blaming me for this whole thing–said that if I hadn’t come back from my trip then he wouldn’t have to give up film again.. He was angry, saying that he gave the last decade of his life to the band and wondering when his turn will come..”

I shifted on the couch, slouching a little further so she could lay comfortably on my chest before I continued.

“I managed to calm him down, explain our options.. Then we went back to the meeting and negotiated with management. We’ll start the tour a week and half later than planned so Josh can attend the film festival.”

She hums against my chest and reaches for my hand. “That's good, I’m sure he’s happy about that.”

“He is..” I say. I flip my hand over and she tangles her fingers with mine. “He deserves this.”

“Do you think he’ll ever get his turn?” Thea lifts her head to look at me.

I nod my head. “He will, I know he will.” I bring her hand up to my lips and press a gentle kiss upon her knuckles. “Which brings me into the next thing..”

“Uh oh..”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “It’s not a bad thing.. I hope.”

Thea sits back up but still keeps our hands intertwined together. “Is it about the tour?” She asks.

I nod my head. “Six months, starting in October. We’ll be gone until March–with the occasional breaks in between for holidays and such.. The team is making the necessary adjustments for anyone that we decide to bring along with us, should we want to..”

“Is this your way of asking me if I would like to come along with you?”

I nod my head. “I would love for you to join me, but I understand with work and all if it’s not possible.”

“Well lucky for you, my job is pretty flexible.. I can do it pretty much from anywhere.. From my bedroom, to the streets of Paris, maybe even Rio–if we go there,” She shrugs her shoulders and I laugh.

“Oh, we are.” I say. “And we are going to have so much fun. Brazil is beautiful, I seem to fall in love with the country even more each time I go there.”

“Yeah?”

I nod my head and kiss her cheek. “I want to show you the world, but until then–I need food.” I say as my stomach grumbles.

“When was the last time you ate?” She asks.

“Noon.” I sigh. “Didn’t have time to go back out to get something to eat and the donuts at the office were stale..” I grimace before hanging my head back against the back of the couch.

She pats my belly before pushing herself off the couch. “Come on then, let’s go make dinner.”

There’s come a time in one’s life where, in one sliver of time, that they feel complete. Where everything feels as if it’s in the exact place that it’s meant to be. At this moment, I feel like that. In this moment, of quiet and of peaceful nature, all feels right.

I lie there in the bed, softly tracing my fingers over the expanse of her shoulder. She’s fast asleep, after the first five minutes of the movie we had begun to watch flickered on the television screen. I remained awake to watch it, and stayed awake even after it ended just to watch her sleep. Some might find that creepy, others romantic. Admiration for their lover, their soulmate, the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. She is all of that and more to me.

Thea is the light in the darkness, the one who leads me back to safety. Who has led me back to safety. Though she lures me to the deep waters, I find it’s only to explore my darkest self in order to be able to swim back to the surface and breathe in a deep breath of fresh air, and to find me. Who I really am.

I’m not Jake Kiszka, guitarist in a rock band. Not with her, no. With her, I’m just..Jake. And just Thea. My Dorothea.

“Dorothea..” I whisper into the dark.

I’ve never said her full name before, and it felt foreign rolling off my tongue in that hushed whisper. But it also felt sweet, like chocolate melting on one’s tongue.

She hums in her sleep, twisting slightly to turn her head and look over her shoulder. Her eyes flutter open and search the dark until they land on me.

“Why are you not asleep?” She whispers.

“I just wanted to watch you sleep,” I say.

She turns her body over and curls into my body. Her hand rests on my chest and she kisses my skin before laying her head to rest against me too.

“At least the dark conceals how awful I must look.” She says with a giggle, knowing full well I’ll laugh and disagree.

“Remember when I told you that the sun makes your eyes glow like root beer barrels?” She giggles again, nodding her head. “Well,” I shift my body slightly to meld with hers as I wrap my around her. “The small little streak of the moonlight shining in right now casts the perfect, cool glow over your skin. Skin that is so soft, about as soft as cotton.”

“About?” She tilts her head back slightly so she can look at me.

“Mmhmm, because what I like about your skin is that it is equally soft as it is a little rough.”

“Jake, I think you need some sleep.” She says as she pats my chest. “You sound a little delirious.”

I chuckle and lean down to kiss her forehead. “Sleep won’t help much, because you make me delirious.”

“I guess the same could be said about you.”

Eventually she falls back asleep, her light breath tickling my skin just the slightest. But soon I find myself falling asleep soon after she does.

When morning comes, I wake up to an empty bed once again but this time she left a note on the pillow:

Went to breakfast with a friend. Left you coffee in the pot, just needs to be warmed up. I’ll be back soon. I love you, Dorothea

I smile at her use of her full name before setting the note back down and sliding out of bed. Sure enough, she did leave coffee so I warmed it up as I cooked myself breakfast. Soon the morning came and went and she hadn’t come home yet, so I busied myself, working on some of the new songs for the album. Despite Josh’s outburst yesterday, we came up with a few new ideas for songs. To ease his stress, I took Josh’s notebook home with me to go over lyrics, maybe come up with a melody or two.

I had barely gotten through the third song when I heard the front door open and shut. It didn’t take Thea long to find me in my study.

“I thought I heard you playing,” She says as she leans on the threshold. “Figured you’d be in the studio until I found it empty.”

I give her a small smile and set my guitar off to the side. “I was too lazy to go back downstairs..” I say. Pushing off the threshold, she makes her way over and leans down to give me a kiss.

“How was your morning?” She asks.

“Quiet,” I answered. “A little lonely.”

“I’m sorry, she called when I woke up this morning and said she had news to share.”

“News you can share with me?”

Thea nods her head and sits down on the couch beside me. “She’s pregnant–twelve weeks along.”

“I guess congratulations are in order,” I say as I lean over to peck her lips. “Is that why you came back later?”

“Mmhmm.. After we finished breakfast, I went to the store and bought some stuff.”

“Already spoiling the baby and it’s not even born yet.” She grins and eagerly nods her head making me laugh.

“Do you want to see what I bought?”

“Sure, why not?” I say standing from the couch and following her down to the kitchen.

First she showed a bag for a boy, the usual. Clothes–matching outfits, socks, shoes, hats. It was the same for a girl, just all pink. Literally everything was pink, and sparkly. She even went all out and bought toys, and a stack of books.

“Hmph,” I pick up a copy of Treasure Island and flip through the pages.

“Never too young to start learning about pirates,” Thea says. “So, what do you think?”

“You really went all out,” I comment as I look over all of the baby stuff. I picked up a pair of small boots. They’re tiny enough to fit into the palm of my hand. “And say the baby is either–or.. What will you do with the rest?”

“Return it,” She shrugs her shoulders. “Or maybe keep it–you never know where the future might lead.”

We catch each other's eyes and I can see the gleam in hers. If only she knew the dreams that I have for us. The home that I have built in my head, the life we live with our three kids. But I can’t tell her that. What if she doesn’t feel the same way that I do? What if we aren’t meant to be? We had already parted once because of my stupidity–what if it happens again and we never find our way back to each other?

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[putschki1969]

KEIKO Planetarium Live〜Starry Night〜 & Chocolate meating#3〜Starry Night edition〜 Live Report

I experienced so many amazing things during my recent Japan trip but for some reason, this special planetarium event left the most lasting impression so that's why I wanted it to be the topic of my first live report. Below you'll find an abundance of fangirling and mindless blabbering so please brace yourselves! The post will be divided into the following sections to make it easier for you to get through.

General Info

Preface

Merchandise

Venue

Performance

Fan Club Exclusive Part

General Info

Instagram post by Keiko | Tweet by Keiko | Tweet by Yuriko

『KEIKO Planetarium Live ~Starry Night~』 [Date] Sunday, December 17, 2023 [Time] Open 14:30 / Start 15:00 [Ticket fee] 8,000 yen (tax included) [Venue] Konica Minolta Planetaria TOKYO DOME1

FC Exclusive 『Chocolate meating #3 ～Starry Night edition～』 [Date] Sunday, December 17, 2023 [Time] Open 17:00 / Start 17:30 [Ticket fee] 8,500 yen (tax included) ※FC exclusive benefit included [Venue] Konica Minolta Planetaria TOKYO DOME1

Preface

When this was first announced I was devastated because at that time, my trip to Japan was scheduled to end on Dec 14th. But with both Wakana and Keiko announcing solo performances after that day, I was determined to find a way to extend my stay. Initially, I was hesitant because I knew there was no way to change my return flight. I would ultimately lose a significant amount of money and on top of that, I would have to book a new one-way return ticket for a later date which would cost me a fortune as well. After considering all my pros and cons, I ultimately decided to go through with the whole thing because I knew I would probably hate myself forever if I didn't use that opportunity. Of course it also hinged upon whether or not I would manage to get a ticket for the fan club performance in the evening. I knew my chances were super slim due to the tiny venue (~100 people) but luckily, I won a ticket. At that point I knew that I had no excuses not to go XD This is by far one of he craziest and most irrational things I've ever done so for some time I was afraid that I would end up with horrible regrets but I am happy to report that it was worth every penny for me. Not only was Wakana's concert amazing, these two Keiko performances absolutely blew me away with their intimate nature and unique atmosphere. Can you believe that this was actually the first time for me to attend a Keiko solo event? I had purchased streaming tickets for all of her online lives of course but I had never been to an on-site event. And for a while now, I have been asking myself if I would even enjoy a one-man live like that since - as we all know - I am not particularly fond of a lot of her solo releases but, lo and behold, my love for Keiko and her music was 100% reaffirmed. I am so glad that I took the plunge, I couldn't be more grateful to have been able to be there for this amazing experience. On this note, I wanna give a big shout-out to my friend Pae who encouraged me from the get-go to come to the event and who got our tickets for the day performance. It was a general sale on a first come-first serve basis and she really knocked it out of the park with her professional ticket purchasing skills. I definitely could never have done it that quickly so kudos to her. Here's a picture of little old me, Pae and her friend from Thailand.

Merchandise

I wanna take a few moments to talk about the live goods because I am utterly smitten with everything. The acrylic stands and the block are particularly pretty but I am also obsessed with the polaroids. I almost couldn't contain myself and since they didn't have any limits as to how many pieces one person could buy, I naturally went all out. Don't worry, I didn't buy that much since I was still reeling from how expensive it was to extend my trip. Also, I was one of the first few people in line so it would have been rude to buy an excessive amount, there were a ton of other fans around after all, they obviously also wanted to buy a lot of merch. While they prepared plenty of the random polaroid magnets, they unfortunately didn't really bring enough of the acrylic stuff. By the end of the day performance, the acrylic stands were already completely sold out and after the evening performance, the acrylic block was gone too. I guess that means that even if we get an online sale at one point, they will only sell the tote bag and the magnets...or maybe they'll produce another batch of all the acrylic items...We'll have to wait and see...I could see myself buying some more polaroids if they become available online. I only got two pieces with a handwritten message by Keiko so it would be nice to have more. But they are not exactly cheap so I'll have to think about it.

Venue

The venue was...not what I had expected XD. The pictures online of Konica Minolta Planetaria are a bit misleading but I guess that's because they only ever feature Dome 2 and not Dome 1 which is significantly smaller and doesn't have any of the fancy seats. Our seats were little more than reclining beach chairs with a little table but oh well, I didn't come there to be seated comfortably so it didn't bother me too much. At the end of the day, it was a good thing that the dome was so tiny because it made everything feel so much more intimate. And let me tell you, when I say intimate, I mean intimate. I've never ever been this close to Keiko (and I've had my fair share of close encounters with her). There were no assigned seats for the performances, everyone just had a number on their ticket and we were allowed to enter the dome in order of that number. As mentioned earlier, Pae was super fast getting our tickets so we ended up with the numbers 5 to 7, meaning that for the day performance I got a seat right at the front with a clear view of Keiko. There was no stage or anything, just a bit of basic equipment, some microphones and two stools. This meant that there was barely any space between the front row and the artist area (1 metre maybe). Needless to say, I spent the entire time looking at Keiko XD. I almost felt a bit bad because I was missing out on the lovely projections but to be fair, it was actually quite hard to get a good view of them this close to the front so the best option for me was to just stare at Keiko. During the break I bought myself a yummy galaxy donut which was almost too pretty to eat but at that point I was starving so I literally devoured it. For the FC exclusive evening performance I wasn't nearly as lucky when it came to my number. I got #71 so I ended up in one of the last rows unfortunately. From the first performance I knew that Keiko would be entering from the back door on the left side and walk through the audience so I at least made sure to take a seat close to the door so she would walk right past me (which she did so YAY but more on that later). On another positive note, the seat in the back made it possible for me to get fully immersed in the projections without being too distracted by Keiko. It was truly breathtaking to see all these space-themed vivid images across the ceiling.

Performance

It feels like I have already talked so much about the whole thing but I haven't mentioned a single thing about the actual performances so let me rectify that. I've already alluded to it in the beginning of this post, Keiko was absolutely stunning and I am obviously not just talking about her looks. Her vocals were out of this world, every single song of the setlist flattered her so much, there was not a single misplaced note as far as I could tell. Due to the nature of the event, it was of course a very understated performance, there was no wild movement or crazy choreography, it was just Keiko standing/sitting there being illuminated by the tiniest of lights, just enough to still see her but never enough to distract from the visuals. After all, the main focus were supposed to be the projected images and for the most part, that was the case. Only occasionally they would shine some more light on Keiko (mostly during MCs). As you can see below, the setlist was full of ballads and OMG, I couldn't have been happier about that. She sang almost all my faves so I was pretty much in heaven for the first half of the live. Almost started crying during 通り雨 because it was painstakingly beautiful. キミガネムルカラ and 夕顔 were also true gems to experience live, so haunting and mystic. She brought out her brand new guitar for songs #4 to #6 and while I have never been the biggest fan of acoustic guitars, Keiko really managed to make me fall in love with the sound. Both her and her guitarist did a fantastic job arranging and performing these tracks. Also, I was quite surprised to hear Yas Nakajima provide backup vocals for Keiko during Burn In The Wind, their voices match perfectly.

The cover section was admittedly a bit of a let-down for me since the chosen songs are not exactly among my favourites. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy myself or that Keiko didn't deliver the songs flawlessly, it's just that I don't really care all that much for the songs themselves. There were some really gorgeous high notes though so I really can't complain. Speaking of covers, I was super hyped when Keiko announced that she would be singing 風の街へ, a self-cover of her first FictionJunction KEIKO work. I had a feeling she would maybe sing it (since it's obviously a perfect fit for this sort of atmosphere) but Pae kept telling me that it probably wouldn't be happening. Glad I was right about that. During the MC, Keiko was talking about her upcoming single 夕闇のうた so for a while I was sure she would just sing that but she ultimately did not perform it. We got to hear the full version a few days earlier at Kaji Fes. so I wasn't too disappointed that it didn't make it onto the setlist of the planetarium live (also, if I am being honest, the song hasn't really grown on me yet so it's not like I'm dying to hear it again and again). Instead, she chose the song that marked the very beginning of Keiko's journey together with Yuki Kajiura and really, I can never get enough of it. It's one of my very favourite YK x Keiko collaborations and it's always such a pleasure to hear it live. It was only my second time so I couldn't have been more grateful. The final three songs were a nice change of pace with more involvement from the audience and more focus on Keiko rather than the projections. I certainly didn't expect ラテ to make an appearance but with the pretty lights, it worked surprisingly well. The whole thing had a very futuristic feel to it if you know what I mean. ユア has slowly been growing on me and it's just such a feel-good song that I cannot stop vibing with it (similar to Wakana's Happy Hello Day actually). The ending was beyond epic, エンドロール is such a cool song. I just wish I had known the lyrics so I would have been able to sing along properly (I have zero skills when it comes to memorising lyrics) . Keiko tried to prepare us with a few test-runs but I kept mixing up some lines T_T Oh well, I had a blast so that's all that counts! The one thing I felt kinda sad about was the fact that we didn't get an encore but I guess they had to keep the performance short...?

M-1キミガネムルカラ M-2夕顔 M-3通り雨 M-4夜の嘘と M-5Lost M-6Burn In The Wind M-7駅 by 竹内まりや (Cover) M-8ルビーの指環 by 寺尾聰 (Cover) M-9秋桜 by 山口百恵 (Cover) M-10風の街へ (Self-Cover) M-11ラテ M-12ユア M-13エンドロール

Fan Club Exclusive Part

When I entered the dome for the fan club exclusive evening performance, I was given a large envelope by a staff member containing a message card by Keiko. The scan above features the picture which makes up one half of the card. So pretty! (Please keep in mind that this is fan club exclusive!) As mentioned earlier, I had a seat pretty far in the back during this performance, I was still close enough to have a good view of Keiko but I decided to focus on the projections this time around since Keiko jokingly mentioned a couple of times that she felt so many eyes on her and that we should try to enjoy the gorgeous view above as well. With the way she said it, I could tell that she wasn't annoyed or angry about it but she genuinely just wanted us the get the most out of the experience. And yeah, I have to admit, it was amazing to just lean back and watch the gorgeous space visuals while being gently wrapped by Keiko's vocals. Also, for some weird reason, the seats in the back were much more comfortable than the ones in the front row so that made it a lot easier to just relax. The setlist was the exact same and Keiko's performance was just as good. There were some technical issues with the projections at one point so the staff asked Keiko to take a little break and entertain the audience for a while so they could fix the problem. Keiko was really cute during this section because she struggled to come up with something to talk about. All her other MCs had been rather short and straight-to-the-point so there wasn't really anything to talk about. She even admitted that it was quite hard for her to just talk to an audience without having anyone on stage with her to create a sort of a back and forth. Unfortunately, her guitarist was pretty useless in that regard since he didn't feel comfortable at all talking XD Keiko ended up blabbering on and on about the most random stuff and eventually talked a bit about the guitar arrangement for 秋桜 which she found quite impressive. After they had fixed the issue, we went back to the regular program for a couple of songs until Keiko announced that it was time for some special games since this was a fan club event after all. First, we played a few rounds of a Maru-Batsu-Quiz (True-or-False-Quiz). They had prepared some Keiko-trivia questions. Everyone was asked to stand up and with every question people either answered with "true" (fist) or "false" (open hand). Those who answered incorrectly had to sit down so fewer and fewer people remained standing as time went by. Some of the questions were a bit tricky so all you could do was guess. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of the lucky winners at the end. Although I will say that these games are mostly based on trust since you can always pretend to have made the correct gesture or change your gesture in the right moment (it's hard to verify stuff like that). There were a handful of guys who won the first two rounds, they got to walk towards the front and Keiko gave them a little present (some snack souvenirs from the most recent Asia tour-leg, nothing too exciting). Then we were all surprised because for one round the last person standing happened to be none other than Yuriko Kaida. Turns out she had been sitting right behind me all this time (her seat was the closest one to the back door in the very last row). I did not expect her to actually collect her prize (especially since Keiko mentioned that Yuriko had gotten the exact same souvenir in Taiwan) but she did. It was a treat seeing them interact like that. They are so funny together and it was during those moments that you could immediately tell that Keiko became so much more relaxed and talkative once she had someone on-stage with her who she felt comfortable with. As a final game, we did one round of rock-paper-scissors which once again, I wasn't lucky enough to win but I guess it just wasn't meant to be T_T

When the show was over, Keiko walked through the audience towards the door in the back and that's when my seat choice really paid off. She got super close to the people who had an aisle seat, she made eye contact, waved at us and even did little high fives with the one or the other female fan who dared to initiate a gesture like that (of course I didn't because I am too chicken-shit for that). Once Keiko was gone, Yuriko was also ushered outside. Some of us were still hopeful that we would get an encore, especially since they had closed the exit again but alas we didn't get one. However, we were all in for a special treat when it was time to finally get up and leave. When they started playing the usual after-live announcement it was obvious that there wouldn't be an encore so I took my stuff and headed towards the back door which a staff member was just about to open. That's when I realised that Keiko was standing right outside the door, waiting for the audience members to give each one of us a private send-off. This is a common occurrence with fan club events in Japan but I've never had it happen with Keiko before so this was super special. Also, during and even long after the pandemic, situations with close encounters like that were strictly avoided so I didn't really expect them to do a send-off. Seems like we have finally moved past those restrictions! BANZAI! Anyway, I literally froze in place when I saw Keiko standing there because I was scared to be the first one to be greeted by her. I waited a few seconds so a handful of people could walk out before me. This way I was able to observe what other fans were saying to her and how much time the staff allowed each person with Keiko. I know, it probably sounds ridiculous to you but this sort of stuff stresses me out immensely, I prefer to be at least a tiny bit prepared. I was probably the fifth person to walk outside and most people inside the dome were still putting on their clothes or picking up their stuff so there was not really a line behind me or any type of rush. When I got in front of Keiko, we both did the crazy waving thing again while I thanked her for everything. Then I told her that I am always supporting her from Vienna and she was like, "wow, Vienna, so cool!" At that point it would have probably been my turn to step away since I could tell that the staff member next to Keiko was getting antsy and already preparing to ask me to continue walking. But I wanted to use the opportunity to briefly mention my undying love for the beret I had won during a previous fan club event. As you probably all know, this is my most-prized possession. It's a hat previously owned and frequently worn by Keiko herself, she signed it and even wrote my name on it before shipping it out to me. Being as obsessed with Kalafina fashion as I am, I really couldn't have asked for a better gift. Squeezing all those emotions into a single sentence or two was very hard but I tried my best. I had forgotten how to breathe at that point and my voice was getting super weird. I pointed at my hat and hoped that she would even remember that she had given it away. Then I all but squeaked out how grateful I was to win it and that I would treasure it all my life. She also pointed at it with clear recognition on her face (thank God or it would have been embarrassing XD) and told me with the brightest of smiles, "ah yes, yes, I know, that's amazing, I am so happy for you!" Needless to say, that almost killed me 💀I definitely ascended to another plane of existence that day. I didn't wanna push my luck any further so with a final wave I kept walking towards the reception area and thus ended my Keiko Planetarium experience. Even hours after the event, I was still reeling from everything that had happened.

My plane was supposed to leave bright and early the following morning so I did not stick around longer than necessary. I said my goodbyes to a couple of fellow fans and then took off. Some of them wanted to invite me to a small after-dinner-party but I just wouldn't have been able to deal with the stress on the eve of my departure.

All right, that's it, hopefully I didn't forget anything and I didn't bore you to death. Kudos to anyone who managed to make it to the end.

PS: I just wanna say that Keiko is the prettiest human being ever. Every time I see her up-close I'm reminded of her other-worldly beauty. Standing right next to her, it doesn't even feel like she is a real person because everything about her looks so smooth and polished, like someone put a filter on top of her XD

[thedeluluverse]

The finale! While it isn't necessary to read the previous parts to understand the plot, it helps you understand the couple's journey. if you want to, you can read parts 1 & 2 here! Annnddd if you want their origin story, check out Burning Film!

Author’s Note: Well, that’s all for this series, folks! Let me know down below or in my always open inbox what you think! I was nervous to try a series, but this trio of prompts just works too well to be separate drabbles! Thanks always for the love and have a great weekend! I’ll be working on a couple more stories and making a list of who and what I will write so stay tuned! <3

Pairing:  Jinny’s Kitchen era bf!Tae x oc!Nari.

Rating: 16+

Genre:, fluff, established relationship, series, coworker relationship

Word Count: 2,199

Warnings:  none; just have tissues ready because this couple is too cute! Slight mentions of smut but nothing happens

After a week in Bacalar, Jinny’s Kitchen has created quite a reputation for itself, and word has spread that you'll be leaving tomorrow.

These factors have resulted in the busiest day yet! At day’s end, you find out that the sales were pushing $20,000; that explains the blisters on your feet.

Once everything was closed and packed up for the final time, you all had to prep it to be transported. On top of that, you had to ensure all your belongings were accounted for and set out your outfit for the flight home. You’d be damned to wake up ANY earlier than required.

Awaking on top of your comforter, unsure how you got there, you check your phone to see that your boyfriend has sent you a good night message along with an explanation as follows:

“Annyeong jagiya, you passed out not even 5 minutes into me driving, so I brought everyone else back, and then I dropped you off. I knew you wouldn’t want to dirty your sheets, which is why you are on top of your bedding. I hope you get some rest and I’ll see you tomorrow

Saranghae, Your TaeTae”

You grin at how thoughtful this man is, and your heart swells with affection for him, warming you from head to toe. While snuggling into bed is tempting, you know that today, of all days, it would be a sin not to shower first.

You decide to pamper yourself and take your time shaving, moisturizing, and doing your full skincare routine before shuffling to bed and sighing contentedly into your cool sheets.

There is just one problem: you aren’t tired the least bit. You toss, turn, and try all your usual tricks to fall asleep, but nothing works.

Feeling sentimental, you pull on a hoodie over your pajamas and head over to the communal house one last time.

Typically, you never are this emotional, but the fact that you thought you would be apart from your Tae for this song brings tears to your eyes in gratefulness for the manager’s last-minute plan. Returning from poolside reminiscing, you hear a clattering, and your anxiety skyrockets!

Did someone break in while you were outside? Was there a rat? You pull a chair from outside in and raise it, ready to deal critical damage, when you see the origin of the sounds: your boyfriend.

After heavily exhaling in relief, you lightly punch him on the shoulder, “Aish pabo, what are you doing here?!” He just cocks an eyebrow, “I could ask you the same thing, which makes you a pabo, too, yeah?”.

You roll your eyes and defend yourself, “ I just couldn’t sleep and wanted to see this place one more time. What’s your excuse?”

A slight blush crosses his features, and he tries to claim the same reason, but you see right through it; “Kim Taehyung, do not lie to me. If that were true, you wouldn’t be clattering around the kitchen. The truth, now, please.”

Rubbing the back of his neck in the embarrassment of being caught, he admits, “Okay, Nari-ah, you caught me. I was hungry and had a craving for black bean noodles, so I came here, but it looks like they packed it all up already. The clattering you heard was me rummaging through everything to see if they had misplaced it or something. Happy now?”.

You cannot help but cackle, which only causes your hungry boy to pout. “They didn’t misplace it, jagi; you ate them all.” His eyes widened in shock and horror, “b...but when we got here, there were like 12 packs. There’s no way.”

You simply nod and smile warmly at him. “We all partook, but there were a few nights you were extra hungry or tipsy and wanted noodles with your tequila.”

He slumps down onto one of the chairs by the kitchen island, looking defeated, “Oh, I am the true pabo then. I just couldn’t sleep and thought that would help, but oh well.”

You sit on his right thigh and cup his face kissing him sweetly, “Well, for what it’s worth, you’re my true pabo, and I love you as you are.”

Grinning as he kisses you back, hand guiding the back of your head closer, he abruptly pulls away. Lifting you as he gets up and places you on the seat instead, he heads toward the door.

“Um, what are you doing, Tae?”. “Well, I figured since we are both night owls, we might as well have a snack, yeah? Stay here, and I’m going to grab snacks from the closest store.”

You find it odd because why not just take you with him and go back to the hotel, but you decide just to nod your head knowing that determined look on his face.

It takes about a half hour for him to return, but he does so with more energy than you’ve seen in over a week. Wordlessly, he picks you up and places you in the car; as he buckles your seatbelt for you, you place a hand over his. “Jagi, where are the snacks? Why am I in the car?”

He kisses your nose and says, “Don’t worry, babe, I got you. Just trust me.”

Ignoring the fact that neither of your questions got answered upon feeling the butterflies in your stomach flutter over him being this close to you and how secure you are with him, you grin and giggle, giving him a wink.

As you head down the road, you notice it looks a lot like the route to the restaurant. There’s a reason for that: it is.

Tae parks the car, sees your confused expression, places a finger to his lips, and goes around the car to take your hand and lead you with his other hand covering your eyes.

You smell vanilla and start to open your mouth to question what on earth he has done when he whispers into your ear, “Please just wait, jagiya, it’s a surprise.”

Once he has led you up the stairs, he instructs you to keep your eyes closed until he says otherwise, which you comply with.

After the longest 10 seconds of your life, you are allowed to open your eyes, and what a sight! Candles on every flat surface and there’s the softest array of thick comforters, blankets, and pillows where the chairs were just a few hours ago. All of that is second best to the view in front of you.

Your boyfriend is on one knee with the ring he knows you have been drooling over since he has known you and bought it even before being yours officially.

He isn’t sure whether it was his way of trying to manifest or just being sure that you got what you wanted, whether that was ever him or not.

Tears start to well up in your eyes again as you fully take in the scene and start to open your mouth to say, “I do,” but not before Tae puts up a hand to halt your action. He clears his throat, takes a deep breath, then says

“Nari, my life has been permanently altered for the better since you came into my life. The day we fell in the field, I knew you were special. I instantly fell for you but doubted you felt the same way, so I didn’t say anything until I almost lost you. I realized that day that strictly friendship was not an option. The idea of anyone else claiming they know you as well as I do got my mind blurry with rage. I bought this the first week I knew you once I saw how your eyes shone more dazzling than this jewel upon seeing it. I know it may be too soon, but I will wait my entire life for you jagiya. Nobody else will ever be able to compare to my brightest star. So, I humbly ask you, will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you marry me, Nari-ah?”

Falling to your knees with tears streaming down your face as you wrap your arms around his neck, you look into his eyes with your forehead on his and mutter out, “Of course, I will, my prince!” in between ecstatic sobs.

You sit back on your knees as he points out every detail and, finally, the inscription saying, “My Star.” He then affixes the ring to your finger, and you admire it for a moment, then hug him with such force that he falls onto his back, holding you tightly with him.

You are both giggling with relief and how surreal this has all been for what feels like an hour, but it was only about 10 minutes. Once you have both caught your breath, you prop yourself up on his chest with the flames of the candles shimmering in the gem on your finger and ask, “How did you do all of this so quickly? What made you do this now? What if I hadn’t been at the house too?”

He explains that he had packed all of this stuff so you wouldn’t find it while he was gone because he wanted to propose once he got home, but once you showed up, his plan was seemingly at risk.

Upon seeing you at the house, the secondary plan was formulated in his mind. If you hadn’t been there, he would’ve brought everything back home and continued with his original plan.

For the next two hours, you both reminisce on all the last few months' memories and reflect on fate's craftiness. If either of you had been in another place that day in the field, he might have never met the love of his life, and you never landed your dream job.

After resting in his protective embrace, staring up at the stars through the glass ceiling, you finally feel at complete peace and are about to doze off. He notices this and points up, “Jagiya, what do you think of the view?”

You slightly shake yourself more conscious and answer, “I adore it! We can never see the stars this clearly at home.” Your brat mode kicks in, and you question him, “Do you see the stars now, or are you still blind?” (referencing his line in Airplane pt. 2).

He just smirks and shakes his head, “Aish, just wait until we are home. I’ll give you the attitude adjustment of your life. Especially now that you are officially mine forever, expect the events of the other day in the kitchen times 10, my good girl.”

Successfully rendering you speechless, he answers your query, “As for the stars, I barely notice them. You are the brightest star in my life and outshine the entire galaxy one-hundred-fold, my Nari Starry.”

You nuzzle into his chest, and he feels you smile against him, wishing he could freeze this moment forever. But not completely, as he cannot wait to see what the rest of his life with you will entail.

He can’t wait to tell the rest of the crew since they’ve known about his plan for weeks and have had to play it cool but have been rooting for you since you met them a month or so ago.

Feeling you drift off, he slightly nudges you awake and picks you up to place you in the car while he resets the dining room and packs the car with the enchanted scene.

He returns to your hotel room and decides he will get your car tomorrow. For now, he craves nothing more than to be snuggled up to his new fiancé.

As he settles in next to you, he kisses your temple tenderly and wraps his arm around your waist, placing his hand over yours. A few seconds pass, and he swears he just heard you giggle. Leaning in closer, he whispers, “Jagiya, are you dreaming?”

You squeak in surprise, thinking he was fast asleep, and try to ignore him and act asleep, but he knows you too well. He leans over your face and sees the huge smile on your face, poking your cheek and making you break character.

You roll onto your back, cackling, and this poor sleep-deprived boy is so confused, wondering if she should be worried about you or not.

You see his expression, assure him that you are fine, and settle yourself down, “I just have one question, jagi.” “Yes? What is it, my love?” “Since I am your fiancé now, does that mean I am promoted?” you burst into a giggle fit again, causing him to cock an eyebrow amusedly while nodding. “I guess you can say that my silly goose, but in Jinny’s Kitchen, you are still the greenest intern.”

Deeply chuckling, you shut him up, peppering his face with kisses until he grabs your chin and kisses you until you both nod off and pay no mind to the alarms that will be going off in about 3 hours.

Nothing could make tonight not worth it, and neither of you have ever been more thankful for anything than for the second wind that kickstarted the second half of your lives together.

[literaticat]

I know no author HAS to be on social media. But it seems like the most tenacious ones are active online in some way. If I'm a painfully shy person who is socially awkward-- could that be a potential roadblock for an author career? 

First off: LOTS and LOTS of authors are "painfully shy and socially awkward." That's OK. Don't borrow trouble. Having a career as an author is already hard. There are LOTS of potential roadblocks out there. I'd suggest you not look for extra roadblocks to put in your own way. :-)

You don't need to worry about promoting your book if you don't even have a book. So if you want to get to a place where that's even a concern you MIGHT have, you start by doing the actually most important part: Write a great book. Then revise and polish it. Then look for an agent, or whatever your next step is. Etc. Just go step by step.

By the time you actually have a publisher and know that your book is really really coming out, a couple of things might have happened: The social media landscape might be totally different than it is today. And, more crucially, YOU might be different. I'm willing to bet that during this long process, where you wrote and then dug into this great book and got to craft and know everything about it, going step by step, you will have then had to talk to agents, then editors, then sales people, booksellers, other authors, etc about it. You will have interacted with increasing numbers of scary strangers lovely new people in a safe way, and realized that actually, book people are pretty much uniformly nice, they all LIKE you and your book, and you will at least feel pretty confident when you are talking about books, and your own work. You're probably never going to become an extrovert, or suddenly want to take on Open Mic nights at the Comedy Store -- but you'll be able to get through a normal business phone call or zoom, or quick back-and-forth email/text convo about book stuff, without really even thinking about it. You just WILL. I promise.

So then, at some stage, before your book comes out, whatever "social media" looks like at that time, you get a little account, and follow some of these folks. Follow your publisher and agent, as applicable, and authors you admire, and booksellers and librarians you meet along the way, and people who are interesting to you. Participate a little. If your friend is having a book launch, you can post about it. If you read a great book, post about it. If somebody says something funny or cool, like it. If somebody you like posts great news or an awesome review of their book, congratulate them. Take a cute picture of your pets. Then when YOUR book is coming out, you can add in talking about that as well, a little, and your buddies will like and post about that, too, because you are nice, and they are nice, and they like your book. And when YOU have good news or a book launch or a nice review, other people will congratulate YOU.

Aim for 15 minutes a day, just dip in and out. Think of it like the water cooler at work. When you work hard, it's NICE to take a break and catch up with your writerly colleagues for a few minutes here and there. You're not looking to be a Social Media Superstar or Influencer. The water cooler is NOT your job. But, just like when you work at an office, it's nice to be able to take a break, have a little corner of the internet where you can feel comfortable enough to wander over from time to time, share fun news or things that are interesting to you, briefly see what's up with your colleagues that day, share a laugh, or whatever, then go back to your desk to work. No stress.

If you can manage that (and I suspect you'll be able to!) -- well, you'll be in the top 50% of authors on social media without even trying too hard. And if you really can't manage it -- well, hey, you tried, it's not for you, at least make sure your website stays updated.

[jo-harrington]

Get To Know Store Manager Verse Eddie

What story is he from? What kind of story is it (Fix-it fic, Older!Eddie, Rockstar!Eddie etc)? My Eddie I'm going with it my original Eddie from Store Manager Verse. It's a sort of EveryoneLives! NoUpsideDown! Amalgam where Eddie works at StarCourt Mall and he meets a New Romantic interest in the Claire's Store Manager.

What inspired you to write this Eddie? I've worked retail forever and the horrors but then I moved to corporate. New job, no customers. But corporate teams usually go into the field and help during Q4 and especially in the special...department I work in? Christmas 2022 really made me ask "what if little Store Manager Jo had an Eddie who worked at her mall and she had a crush on him" and SMVerse was born.

What are your favorite headcanons about him/share something you never shared in your story? In my story, he had friends in his first stint through high school/senior year that left him behind and broke up the band. Then Corroded Coffin 2.0 was born with Jeff, Gareth, and Unnamed Freak (who I named Dave). Now that he's approaching a potential graduation with Jeff and some of them aren't...he's worried about Jeff leaving first, but the others shortly after. And then his band will have broken up a second time and what will he do then?

What does he wear on a casual day? On a dressier day? What does he wear to bed? Casual Day: Jeans, T-shirt, Flannel optional based on the weather. Jacket/Vest combo if he's going out. Dressy Day: Bought a nicer button down from Montgomery Ward, sleeves are rolled up, a few buttons undone. He's got the least offensive graphic tee he owns underneath it. Leather Jacket on top, no vest. (There's a Regional Manager visiting Tape World. Kyle is wearing a suit. He also bought sunglasses for all the guys to wear inside secret service style.) Pajamas: Summer, underwear only. Spring/Fall, no shirt, and either flannel pj bottoms or there's a pair of sweats that he's cut into shorts. Winter: Hoodie, sweats, thick socks

Favorite foods? Mountain Dew, Zebra Cakes, Pizza, Watergate salad. End of story. He also likes how reader makes pasta.

Tell Us About His Family/Friends I intentionally left it vague. Mom dead dad in jail, the usual. In SMVerse, Reefer Rick was his mom’s boyfriend for a short amount of time. That’s when things were really looking up in his life. He had a father figure (aside from Wayne) who loved and cared about him with no familial obligations. Mom was working, Rick obviously selling, Wayne working either driving or at the plant. It’s a mutual aid situation. Then his mom dies and Wayne and Rick share as much responsibility as possible because neither of them can do it alone. Wayne and Rick are both Vietnam war veterans? I don’t history good. So they have the benefit of being from the same down and going through the same shit and then they need to raise a kid they both love more than life. And he in turn would do anything for them.

Yeah Yeah, he's a Metalhead. Tell Us MORE About His Taste in Music in your story Oh GOD. Listen. He’s a fucking asshole about his music but if you’re respectful, he’ll be respectful. (If you’re his friend though, it’s extra disrespect). Aside from metal, he does enjoy the classics. He has some rock, he’s got some blues. His mom’s favorite were the Monkees and he listens to that tape to be close to her.

Eddie and Store Manager are currently in my WIPs listening to music and getting high. Stay tuned.

What are his views on romance? On sex? Sex is casual to him. It’s nice to feel nice. He’s slept with a few people, at parties where he’s made sales. He had a “girlfriend” that he thought was a girlfriend who was actually trying to get close to his friend Mickey. Kind of made him a little jaded. All of that to say, that specific event made him hesitate with saying anything to Store Manager. She reminds him SUPERFICIALLY of someone who hurt him and it’s easier to pine and keep her at arms length as a friend than potentially get hurt.

Is he optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimist. Next.

Where or with whom is he most comfortable? He’s most comfortable in his van. Home is home but is it really home? Wayne’s rarely there. Rick’s would have been home if his mom was still alive. He likes being with his friends and he is mostly with them at school which…blah. Or in the van.

What are his views of his future? What are his hopes/dreams? Music!!! music music music. He would like to be a musician and SPOILER he’s gonna be. Just not the fantastical rockstar we would wish for him. But he’s also debating what his future looks like as it pertains to Tape World. He likes it there. He likes being part of a team. Working with them, working with Kyle…he’s very much questioning what he wants.

Anything else you'd like us to know about your Eddie/your story? He’s the softest Eddie I’m gonna write. With the nicest future I think. He’s been dealt the easiest card out of all of them. No Upside Down. Got to have the most ideal childhood given his circumstances. AASB Eddie is harder for obvious reasons. STFF is going to be hard in his own way. But SMV!Eddie is the sweet boy we all need. He’s the sweet boy I need.

[lemoncrushh]

Cubicle // 22) When I'm With You

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 2382

Monday // Harry

I paced back and forth in the break room for a good ten minutes. I couldn't bring myself to walk to my desk, let alone do any work. Not when Roni was in Donald's office, potentially getting canned.

She'd called me the night before after she'd arrived home, frantic about a phone message she'd gotten from Nina. I'd told her there was no point in worrying until there was actual cause to worry. But boy, was I worried.

A million different scenarios ran through my mind, some circling around again, particularly the one where Holcomb had spilled the beans about my relationship with Roni, as well as our encounter at the pub. Our personal affairs should have nothing to do with our work ethic, at least that was what I'd convinced myself and was prepared to say if I was to be put on trial. But knowing Holcomb...anything was possible.

Looking up at the clock, I realised it was already after nine. Roni was still behind the closed door down the hall. It hadn't opened once. Resolving that my pacing wasn't gonna do any good, I finally made my way to my cubicle. I sat down in my chair, my fingers on the keyboard, but I typed nothing. I didn't even bother to turn the damn computer on. I just stared at the black screen.

"Harry," I vaguely heard behind me. "Mate. You alright?"

"If they let her go, I'm going with her," I mumbled, not at anyone in particular.

"Huh?"

The bile rose in my throat, and I thought I was gonna be sick. I stood up again, making my chair roll behind me and hit the partition. I ran to the bathroom and splashed water on my face, taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly. I felt like I was having an anxiety attack.

"Fuck this shit," I cursed, pushing the toilet door open with a thud.

I marched down the hall to Donald's office, passing Nina's empty desk. She must be in there with them, I thought. I knocked on the door loudly, then again. It clicked open, but only slightly to reveal Nina's face.

"Sorry, Harry," she said. "We'll call you when we're ready for you."

"Ready for me? So this is what I think it is?"

"Nnnn...not exactly...we..."

I pushed the door open further, making her take a step back. I saw the boss behind his desk, his arms folded atop it. Roni sat in a chair opposite him, her neck craned to see me.

"Listen, I have to say something," I announced, walking into the room.

"Harry," warned Roni.

"Please," I gulped. "Roni's a great employee. She hasn't done anything wrong."

"Harry, this isn't-" began Nina.

Donald held up his hand. "Let him finish his speech."

I nodded at him and licked my lips before continuing.

"Roni's done everything she's been asked to do, and then some. Yes, it's true we're dating. No. Not dating. We're in love. And I know you're probably gonna say something like my judgement's clouded by my feelings. And maybe that's true. But I know I'd do anything for her, and that includes putting my own job on the line. She deserves to stay here. Fire me if you have to."

I caught the tiny smile on Nina's face as Donald widened his eyes and clasped his hands together.

"Mr. Styles, your loyalty is commendable. I'm sure Ms. Graver appreciates it immensely. But I assure you, her job is not at risk. And neither is yours."

"What?"

I stared at him incredulously as he asked me to have a seat next to Roni. I obliged, sitting down cautiously. Roni grinned at me, her eyes twinkling. I couldn't have been more confused if a spaceship had landed, and a family of alien corncobs had exited the aircraft.

Nina pulled up another chair, settling in next to me with a notepad in her lap. She tapped it with her pen when Donald asked her to explain.

"So Harry, Roni already told me she knew that I used to be in sales."

I nodded. "Yeah."

Nina pursed her lips. "I was sales manager, actually. Top in the company. Not just here at this location. But over the entire region."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yes. Gerard Holcomb was my lead salesman. His numbers were through the roof. That is, until Storm came along."

"Your...boyfriend?"

"My husband."

My mouth opened but no sound came out.

"He wasn't my husband yet, but we became romantically involved. Gerard hated it, hated him. Storm would bring in very close to the amount of sales that Gerard did, and he felt threatened, I guess. But he thrived on competition. Even if he had to get nasty. Eventually Storm had had enough and decided to start looking for another job. When he was offered one, he quit."

"Wait," I narrowed my eyes. "I heard Holcomb got him fired. Because you snuck around together instead of going on sales calls."

Nina nodded. "That's what Gerard wants everyone to believe. He started the rumour himself. To look like a big shot. But I know the truth. Storm was fed up with his jealousy, although I'm not sure what he was jealous of, exactly. I also had a young female salesperson named Kate, and Gerard was always trying to get her to go out with him."

I eyed Roni who eyed me back.

"Yeah, we...heard about that."

"Unfortunately, no evidence proved that Gerard was lying, nor that he was being inappropriate. I decided I couldn't take it either, and I went to Donald, ready to quit. But he convinced me to stay with the company as his assistant."

"Oh, I see," I looked at Donald.

"It's awful to say," admitted Nina," but I've been trying for so long to stick it to Gerard Holcomb. So thank you, Harry."

"Me?"

"You and Roni."

I eyed her again, catching her soft, beautiful smile.

"Threatening someone's job is bad enough," said Donald. "But doing it if that someone is refusing your advances is inexcusable and grounds for immediate dismissal."

"You mean..."

Donald nodded. "He has been terminated."

I sat back with a sigh. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"Which brings us to the next point of business," he added. "Nina will be returning to her position as sales manager. We didn't really have one while she was my assistant, and I think it's long overdue."

"Oh," I mouthed.

"Ms. Graver here will be taking Nina's place as my assistant."

"What?" I beamed at her, her cheeks blushing as she giggled with glee.

"She came very highly recommended," explained Nina. "Greta is fond of her and I've been watching and taking notes myself. And it's apparent how you feel about her as well."

I just kept smiling at her. "It is?"

Nina and Donald chuckled at the same time.

"I have eyes, Harry," remarked Nina. I do appreciate your display of chivalry and compassion earlier, but you needn't come barging into the office."

"Sorry 'bout that." I addressed Roni then. "So...does that mean I'm your assistant now?"

Roni opened her mouth to speak, but Nina beat her to it.

"Which brings me to the next order of business," she said. "With me as sales manager and Veronica as Donald's assistant, there are two new positions opening up, Harry. A salesperson, or Greta's assistant. But of course, you are entitled to stay at your current job if you wish."

I laughed nervously. "I don't think I'm cut out to be a salesman."

"Oh please," giggled Roni. "You could sell water to a cactus."

I tilted my head. "You think?"

"Uh huh." God, her smile could light up a room. I loved seeing her happy. And right now she was positively glowing.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too."

I heard Donald clear his throat as Nina told me I didn't have to decide right then. The new positions wouldn't take effect for two weeks. I had time to mull it over.

I was so fucking happy when I left Donald's office, I literally skipped down the hall. Roni laughed, taking my hand and pulling me into a hug.

"It's all gonna be okay now," she cooed, pressing her head against my chest.

"More than okay, my love. More than okay."

Roni

Harry and I wanted to celebrate. He stopped and got Chinese take-out on the way to my place and I opened a bottle of wine. We sat on my rug and ate, toasting to our new jobs.

"Even though you didn't end up having to," I said, "I appreciate that you were willing to lose your job over me."

"I'd lose anything if it meant I could keep you."

I had no words. I sat and stared at him in awe. How did I ever get so lucky?

"Gotta admit though," he added, "I was gutted not knowing what was going on in that office. I was prepared to see you come out the door crying your eyes out. And I can't stand to see you cry."

I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder as I sipped my wine. We sat in silence for a while, until I had to voice my thoughts.

"Why are you so good to me?" I asked.

"Because I love you."

"Why do you love me?"

"Why...Roni..."

"Maybe I should rephrase that. What do you love about me?"

"Everything."

I lifted my head and looked into his gorgeous green eyes. "Honestly. What is it about me?"

Harry set his glass on my coffee table and reached for my face, cupping it in his hands.

"I love this face," he stated. "I love this nose. I love those gorgeous blue eyes. I could die in them."

I blinked slowly, feeling comfort and ease.

"I love these lips," Harry continued between kisses. "These...soft...full...kissable...lips.

"I love the way you touch me. The way you look at me, like you're looking at me right now. I love your laugh, your skin, your hands, your voice. I can't get enough of you, baby. When I'm with you...I'm whole."

"Harry..."

I pulled him down to the rug with me, his mouth capturing mine over and over. I ran my fingers down his torso, finding the bottom of his shirt. Harry reached behind and grabbed it, taking it off and throwing it on the sofa behind him. I let him to do the same to my shirt, removing all of my articles of clothing piece by piece.

He entered me with such a deep groan that his back trembled underneath my hands. Our bodies rocked back and forth on my rug, my eyes rolling back as I got close to reaching orgasm. I gasped for breath as he thrust deeper. I felt completely full. Full of him. Full of love.

"Roni..." he breathed fast in my ear. "Oh, God. Ohhh, I love you. So much."

I laid on top of him after he came, rolling me over with him. I traced his tattoos with my fingers, then made a trail up his neck to his chin and lips.

"Baby..." he said, his voice raspy.

"Yes?" I asked.

He raked his fingers down my back and kissed the top of my head.

"I wanna love you forever," he declared. "I'm going to. And I don't ever want you to doubt the way I feel. Because I want to spend the rest of my life showing you."

Once again, he left me speechless. I scooted up his body, pressing a soft kiss next to his eyebrow that was still a little bruised and scratched.

"I can't wait," I managed to whisper.

A month later // Harry

Roni and I loved our new jobs. I wasn't really sure how I'd feel about being a salesman. Turns out, I'm really good at convincing people they need something. Roni was a pro at being the boss' secretary. And if it was possible, I was even more turned on by her.

Alice and Caleb were seeing each other. It was kind of funny, really. Neither of them wanted to divulge too much information, but if Roni or I teased them by saying sorry it hadn't worked out, perhaps we should find some other dates for them, they would convince us they liked each other and didn't wanna date other people.

Tonight, we were going out. The four of us. Originally it was my plan to take Roni out to L'Colombe Diore, the restaurant I took her to on our first date, but she'd insisted we bring Alice and Caleb along. She said since it had been so special for us, she reckoned it might be just as special for them. I humoured her. She was just so darn cute playing matchmaker.

"I told Alice we'd probably leave here at 7:30," she said, putting her earrings on.

"Sounds good," I nodded.

She looked at me through the reflection in the mirror.

"Are we going to walk by the river?" she asked.

"Why?"

"Because we did that last time," she said.

"Yeah but that was just us. Kinda hard to have a romantic stroll with another couple."

"Not if they stay on their side."

I burst out laughing, stepping up behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist.

"What's so funny?"

"You," I kissed her head. "You're a romantic."

"I am now."

"Why?"

She turned around in my arms, throwing hers around my neck. "Because I have you."

I leant down and kissed her lips softly.

"I sure hope you kiss me better than that at the Thames," she quipped.

"What?" I laughed.

"Just saying. That was one of the best kisses I've ever had."

"It was?" I raised a brow.

"You came home with me that night, didn't you?"

"Ah. Here I thought it was because of the wine."

"Harry Styles!" she playful slapped my arm.

I chuckled as I took her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. "Let's go baby. Let's see if we can make another couple as happy and as in love as we are."

"I dunno if that's possible," Roni remarked. "But I'll try."

THE END

Hope you enjoyed this little story. Don't forget to check out the playlist as well. xo

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Choosing the Right Digital Advertising Agency: What You Need to Know

In today’s competitive market, choosing the right digital advertising agency can be the difference between a successful business and one that struggles to gain traction. With countless agencies offering a range of services, from social media management to SEO and PPC campaigns, finding the perfect fit for your brand can be a daunting task. But don’t worry—this blog will guide you through the essential factors to consider before making this crucial decision.

1. Understand Your Business Needs

Before you start looking for an agency, it’s important to understand what your business actually needs. Are you looking to increase brand awareness, drive traffic to your website, or boost sales? Different agencies specialize in different areas, so having clear goals will help you find an agency that can deliver the results you want. For example, if your focus is social media marketing, you’ll want an agency that has a strong track record in that space.

2. Look for Experience and Expertise

Experience is one of the most important factors to consider. A well-established agency with experience in your industry will already have an understanding of your market, competitors, and audience. Additionally, check if the agency has a diverse team of specialists. Whether it’s SEO, content marketing, graphic design, or analytics, a good digital advertising agency will have experts in each area to create and manage successful campaigns.

3. Check Their Portfolio and Case Studies

A reputable agency will have a portfolio showcasing their previous work and case studies detailing their successes. Reviewing this information will give you an idea of the kind of results they’ve delivered for other clients and whether their style matches your brand. Look for agencies that have worked with companies of similar size and industry as yours.

4. Consider Communication and Culture

How well an agency communicates with you is just as important as the services they offer. You want an agency that listens to your needs and keeps you updated throughout the campaign. Some businesses prefer a more hands-on approach, while others prefer to leave most decisions to the experts. Make sure the agency’s communication style and company culture align with your preferences. A strong partnership between you and the agency will lead to better results.

5. Transparency is Key

Transparency in pricing and strategy is crucial when choosing a digital advertising agency. Ask about their pricing model—do they charge per project, by the hour, or on a retainer basis? Moreover, ensure the agency is open about how they measure success. They should provide regular reports on campaign performance and be willing to explain the data. A good agency will not only show you the numbers but also help you understand what those numbers mean for your business.

6. Test Their Knowledge

A quick way to gauge an agency’s expertise is to ask them for an initial proposal or strategy for your business. Many agencies will offer a free consultation where they provide insights into how they can help you achieve your goals. This will give you a preview of their capabilities and whether they have a deep understanding of digital marketing strategies. Ask questions about the latest trends and tools they use to stay ahead of the competition.

7. Consider Their Network and Tools

A well-connected agency can offer more than just marketing campaigns. They may have relationships with influencers, media outlets, or platforms that can boost your visibility. Additionally, find out what tools they use for tracking performance, managing campaigns, and gathering insights. A modern digital advertising agency should be using advanced technology to deliver the best results.

8. Set Clear Expectations

Once you’ve narrowed down your options, set clear expectations from the beginning. Agree on key performance indicators (KPIs), timelines, and deliverables. This ensures that both parties are on the same page and helps to avoid misunderstandings down the road. The agency should be able to clearly define the results you can expect within a given timeframe.

Conclusion

Choosing the right digital advertising agency requires careful consideration. By understanding your needs, checking for experience, reviewing their portfolio, and ensuring they communicate well, you’ll be in a strong position to find a partner that can help your business grow. Transparency, expertise, and a good cultural fit are all key to building a successful relationship. Keep these factors in mind, and you’ll be well on your way to making the best decision for your business.