#but they give me headaches

[gremlin-pattie]

picked up a beatbox drink and spicy nacho doritos at the gas station. sitting in my car in front of my apartment sipping, crunching, and listening to my music. heeelll yeah

[sunnibits]

just out of curiosity bc some people I know with glasses can just go a few hours or a day without them and be chill but I need them on all the time or I’ll go crazy

[heavenbarnes]

thinking about older bf!simon that takes great pride in being your built in pain relief.

“you right?”

delicate as always, gruff voice cutting through the peaceful lull as he stands right in the way of the television you were only really listening to.

“just a headache”

“you taken anything for it?”

you slowly open one eye as far as you can manage, confirming that the look on his face is endearing and he’s not purposefully asking stupid fucking questions.

he’s only man after all.

“i’ll give y’one if y’like?”

before you even have a chance to ask him what “one” might be in this scenario, he’s already nudging you up the couch to sit beside you.

he doesn’t give you the chance to ask any questions, really- not when he’s tucking your back into his side and slipping a large hand down your front.

long fingers slide your shorts to the side and immediately get to work, other hand holding your thighs open (more for his line of sight than anything).

“simon- you don’t have-”

“none a’that, rest y’head and i’ll take care a’ya”

[supernowa-art]

old men<3

[canisalbus]

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or are there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

[elssbethtascioni]

Emily Prentiss + smoking

[like-butterflies-and-glitter]

i was thinking about this then i forgot about it and then i woke up dreaming about him again

[crabsnpersimmons]

i was possessed the other day to draw a cute little sunguy in this style

please enjoy this cute little sunguy as he goes out and enjoys some simple everyday joys like ice cream, moon plushies, and being ignored by a cat

[robo-milky]

Wanted to base the masquerade fit on Anthony Warlow’s version- looking closely, I just love the two bows on the shoulders??? Idk what it is but I love outfits that are huge and accentuate the silhouette- like it screams power-

[housederiva]

Excellent news for people who missed the bitchy back-and-forth between Anders and Fenris! You’ll love whatever Davrin and Lucanis got going on 

[kane-turu]

Wanna break from the pain?

[wrongspacetime]

Marie & Jordan | GEN V (2023–)

[steddiehyperfixation]

hc that steve actually likes metal and listens to it regularly, just always pretty quietly. so when eddie, who never has his stereo turned down to anything below 40 and even that's too quiet sometimes, gets in steve's car one day to hear metallica playing through the speakers with the volume only set to like 7, he's immediately torn between being ecstatic that steve is listening to one of his favorite bands and outrage that he's not giving it the proper listening experience it deserves

[sad-leon]

can i have feral leo #69

Song 69: Abstract Nonsene by Trickle

Song 14: Ready Now by Dodie

Feral Leo by @cupcakeslushie makes me feel many emotions. i wanna hold him gently like a feral cat <3

KoFi || Patreon

[synthwavecryptid]

long rest after the house of grief

(also known as crawling in bed with your bf and your bf’s bf to allow yourself some selfish comfort)