#but they are the protagonists and if they were smart none of this would have happened sooo

[authoramalgam]

HAH MNAF 3 Time babeyyyy! Featuring the worlds LONGEST park tour

[seelestia]

we missed you, welcome back!

i had a thought for a few days now and then i saw that you were back and i just had to share this

so imagine that you wake up in teyvat one day and you speak a different language bc they probably don’t speak english in teyvat, and no one understands you, but then there’s the smart haravatat ppl like alhaitham and faruzan (idk if there is anyone else) who use their smart language brains to figure out how to talk to you, i think that would be super cute

.💭

BRAINROT ANON— my comrade on tumblr, i missed you too!! i'm so honored that you thought of me aww :') you knew i'd be glad to brainrot with you anytime!! /gen. i focused less on how they communicate with you, but rather more on the events surrounding this concept. hope ya don't mind! so good to see you again <3

extra note: this was written from a platonic pov! yk those movies where a protagonist helps out their 'otherworldly' companion to go back to their home world? yeah, that's what i'm going for here. movies like 'home' and 'cj7' came to mind immediately. that's us and faruzan!! oh, and alhaitham is here too, i guess. /j

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imagine waking up one day to find yourself transported to the middle of the hypostyle desert. the sun burns, scorching hot on your skin then suddenly, it's gone? oh no, some strange turquoise lady is peering at your face with disapproval. you suspect she thinks you're a reckless traveler who forgot to bring ample supplies to a place like this. “███ ███ ████ ███?” she says and you realize you don't understand a word.

[translation: did your water storage run out?]

imagine the confusion on faruzan's face when you mumble a few sentences? noises? grumbles? she specializes in semiotics (and ruins), not speech pathology so how is she supposed to know? anyway, she graciously takes you in! and brings you back to her residence. yes, yes, how generous, applaud her later but she cannot hand you over to the akademiya just yet. (who knows what they'll do with you? you're obviously not of this world.)

imagine trying to communicate with faruzan using other means besides language. one of them includes pointing at the fresh apple slices on her kitchen counter. she gives them to you and notes how you say 'tenk yu' (?) which she takes as a sign of gratitude. of course, she also jots it down in her notes alongside her observations. how interesting.

and she manages the grand feat of roping alhaitham in, somehow someway. he's a youngster (everyone is a youngster if you're one hundred years old at this point) far too solitary for her liking — plus, notoriously hard to convince but that helps: he's someone who won't tattle! that's her logic here. she even had to invite him over for dinner and introduce him to you herself! ugh, she really had no more funds left to spare... so this better works.

it did, oddly. alhaitham's first instinct is to question and his deductions conclude that you are far too genuine (for lack of a better word) for all of this to be a ruse. the way you pointed at his fit and gave him a thumbs-up he assumed that you meant to say you thought it's “cool”.

alhaitham observes you; when you speak, none of the words sound familiar to his experienced ears and trust him, his quota of languages exceed many. he is not here to brag, so don't twist it. nor do you seem to understand anything whenever he or faruzan speaks. you don't even react in the slightest when he mentions or addresses you directly, only a tap on the shoulder works. it's safe to assume you do not know teyvatian language.

the guy in gray green turns to madam faru with a hum. she taught you to refer to her that way. it took hard work and lots of apple slices. “██... ██ ███ ████ █ ████?” he asks.

[translation: so... do you have a plan?]

“██ ███ █████!” she puffs out her chest in determination.

[translation: in due time!]

he sighs.

you blink, eternally confused.

[mydearestbeloved]

okay chapter 5 review here bc word limit.

amazing how your very first and latest draft can change how I feel about your story as a whole lmao. ngl the jinwoo in your first draft reminds me of those daydream yandere!jinwoo fics lolololol so imagine my whipslash when i read the revised and expanded draft of this.

i love those to death i will be honest here but sl reader fics that depicts jinwoo more closely to his canon counterpart always hit different fr. i love how jinwoo isn't trusting of reader and constantly trying to figure her out. he's so inquisitive and smart when trying to piece everything he can find about reader (that makes a lot of sense since he becomes a detective in the revised timeline).

i really appreciate you writing him like this and it's a shame canon kinda stop writing the strategic and observant jinwoo after over the half of the story. of course if you wanted to be more canon compliant (and an excuse to keep reader involved), jinwoo would have to be more suspicious and distrustful of her and monitor her (such a jinwoo move) bc yk his deep trust issue (that has been forgotten or somehow resolved on its own in the canon story just bc. no im not bitter about it nope). therefore, it's so intriguing to read fics where his issues being addressed and his worldview being challenged. i know solo leveling is a power fantasy but it's frustrating to see our protagonist keep proving right about his very flawed and detrimental outlook, carrying the world on his shoulders alone and all that and the story acts like none of that affects him negatively or has any long lasting consequences. again it's a power fantasy but i think i can overlook this very real potential issue only if the story isn't set in a modern and semi-realistic urban setting.

anyway i skimmed through all the drafts you have and i love how they are mostly about him slowly opening up to reader. my god i cannot wait until jinwoo becomes absolutely whipped for our fae queen like in the old drafts. i know it will be absolutely satistfying and worthwhile. (can't believe all the chapters are still drafts???)

?System¿:

[ Review of (14/11/2024) has been submitted.

We thank you for your feedback, Reader.

System will now connect you you to 《AUTHOR》 ]

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.

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Thank you for sending your review, this genuinely made my day! 💞

Now onto your review:

Original vs Now

Funny story, this Trial Player AU's original idea was just supposed to be a single, one-shot thing. So, you're not wrong to think that it feels like a daydream yandere!Jinwoo fic, because IT IS.

I even format it like so because I didn't want to get overboard, and that I was afraid of losing interest if I held onto it for too long just because I don't have enough time to write it as long and detailed as I would've liked.

But as it turns out, I just fooled myself, because here we are with a full blown series. And me with too little time still.

The original concept of a trial player isn't even mine. I was inspired by one of @circeyoru's fics, where I just wanted to write a similar story but with a Reader that have different powers and personality.

I ended up having too many interesting ideas to expand this after posting Imagine #1, which now became the summary of this series instead of its original purpose as a one-shot, one-time thing.

To simplify: I hyperfixate. Drafts started piling up. I wanted to work out the details little by little but they were too messy for me to find the time to sit down and edit them. New method: try posting it. I can edit them as I go as long as I gave warnings beforehand to Readers that my writings can change. If this goes well, there's a chance I can receive feedbacks to improve further. Two birds with one stone. A win-win scenario for me.

I mostly write when I'm stressed out from studying and needed a temporary escape. So, it brings me extra joy when people actually enjoy my stress-induced vomit of words. 🥰

How I write canon characters

I LOVE Reader Inserts/x Reader stories, and one of the things that most of the time ruined them for me personally is if the canon intended act too OOC.

Like, I get it, we Readers aren't in the canon story, of course the canon characters will act out of script since they literally are. But if they act like a different person all together with little to no explanation, no reason that can tie them back to the essence that make them just them, then what's the point of canon x reader when it's just the same as oc x reader?

At least add a warning/note/anything else to inform readers if you're going to do that, or if you're not too sure you can write them to stay true to their canon counterparts (like me 😓).

In real life, we already proven that we are fickle beings. We kept changing for one reason or another, but we can still stay true to ourselves or be recognize as just us.

And that is what I tried to do in writing the canon characters, especially the MCs since we readers follow their story the closest, which resulted in us knowing about them more then the side/supporting characters.

We don't truly know them, we never will, but we can predict them when we put those characters in different scenes/scenarios/settings because they already have a pattern that we know.

That is what we readers of Readers Inserts ultimately sought after, to be able to imagine interacting with those same characters that we know through the pages.

At least, this is what I want. Different people, different views and opinions. This is mine.

How I write Sung Jinwoo in this alternate scenario

I only know of Solo Leveling through its webtoon/manhwa and anime adaptations. I know little no none how they are in the original webnovel/novel and game, and the little that I know are form spoilers, tidbits of them.

With this in mind, I do feel that the manhwa are missing some things, and as it turns out (from the spoilers I read), it does skip many scenes from the novel.

No hate for the artist though, if it were not for him, I wouldn't have known Solo Leveling. And I could only imagine how hard it would be to draw everything from the original.

As for Jinwoo, I'll try my best to stay true to his character from the manhwa. But note that I also added the 'Yandere' element. So, to make him not too OOC, I'll explore his thought process from the start to then falling in love to the point of madness with someone like Trial Player!Reader.

Back to the topic, this Trial Player AU of mine will mostly follow the manhwa, and I'll be using the manhwa-specific plot-holes/gaps to further integrate Trial Player!Reader into the story.

That said, I won't write/in detail all scenes there are in the manhwa. I'll only detailed scenes where I can show Trial Player!Reader's impact, while the rest are either skipped or summarized for the purpose of smooth transition between one scene and another.

I don't want this to be a slowburn, but I also needed to work out the details to Jinwoo's feelings if I want to execute this as smooth as I can get.

Hence, I apologize for the later instances of Jinwoo acting not himself, I'm still figuring out the details for those scenes, that is why I still labeled them as drafts.

Extra related topics

There is two points I shared that can be tied back to Player!Reader's personality:

One, she is a casual fan of Solo Leveling. To make this easier to write, what she knows about the original story is what I know. Reader reads the manhwa, watches the anime, and knows little of the game and original novel from spoilers only.

Second, her view of the Yandere trope. I already I wrote it somewhere in the (for now) unknown chapter 0.1, the only writing that I managed to finish.

I explained there how Reader views this particular fiction trope. It is in many ways similar to mine too. It's just so interesting to see how different people with different personalities spiral down to the far end of the emotion called love, more often associated with warmth and healing.

Emphasis on 'how', I want to see the process. Tying back to how I write Jinwoo.

It is just such an fascinating concept to imagine. And fiction have less restrictions to express that ideas than in reality, as long as we can (and should) differentiate which is true or not, which is good and bad, even if the line that separated them often blurred.

I DON'T condone yandere, toxic and extreme behaviors and actions in real life. All of my works are purely FICTION.

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I think that's all I can say for now. Thank you once again for reading my stories and for sharing your reviews. I really means a lot! 💞

Also, a piece of advice:

Perhaps you should hold off reading the last two chapter for now (9 and 10) until I updated them. Because they are of the newer drafts, there are certain 'too-fast-of-a-development'/OOC instances there that you might find a bit weird if I assumed through this review of yours.

I just feel responsible to point this out.

You're still free to read them, of course. After, you can just keep watch if I updated them, though by then you might want reread them. Hopefully, this is not too much. This is the downside of posting drafts. I apologize for the inconveniences.

I'll always inform a major draft update in my Masterlist. So there is no need to check each draft individually everytime.

[comicaurora]

If you were to actually write a tournament arc (be it in Aurora or a future story) fashioned in your own preferences and ideas, what would it be like?

Oh boy. That's an interesting challenge, because there are so many factors to the Tournament Arc that I just don't like on principle-

Foregone conclusion. If the tournament is centered on a final battle with the Super Scary Big Bad, as they so often are, the heroes are just killing time before they get there, and at least one of the heroes is guaranteed to get to the final round. If the stakes of the tournament are too high, the conclusion is set in stone from the outset. If the heroes are being forced to participate for hostage or supervillain reasons, their victory becomes narratively assured. If the heroes aren't being forced to participate by narrative necessity, then the whole thing becomes an even bigger waste of time.

Formulaic. There's only so much you can mix up a tournament format - environmental hazards, minigames, ring-out rules - and without that, it's just a linear series of fights. Can give the heroes a chance to show off their unique movesets, but narratively they're just ticking up a progress bar before they can get to the end.

Fuckton of characters. Tournament needs meat for the grinder, let's make several dozen characters to throw at the heroes of which maybe five will be memorable enough to recur later. Better make sure they all have interesting gimmicks too - otherwise the formulaic fights will become even more formulaic!

None of these are particularly enticing for me, so in order to construct a tournament arc I actually liked, we'd need to find some way around them:

To avoid a foregone conclusion, the tournament stakes can't be a simple boolean value with "heroes win" and "heroes lose" tied inextricably to things like "heroes save hostage" or "villain destroys entire world." The easiest way to do that is to remove "the heroes" as a single unified participant. It's not a question of whether good will triumph over evil, it's a question of which characters will win and under what circumstances? Part of the reason I liked the tournament arc in MHA more than most is the actual overarching victory was basically irrelevant and our protagonist got eliminated in the quarterfinals, because it was actually all about character development inspired by that fight. So splitting the heroes up, letting them work independently and making their opponents something other than a monolithic antagonistic force would probably help to reduce that issue.

Some tournament arcs also make things more interesting by having a single loss not categorically eliminate a character from the running - the Dark Tournament arc of YYH was pretty good about this, despite being way too long, since it meant protagonists could actually lose fights without being kicked out of the arc entirely, which was a very smart way to keep the tension going, since only a few fights became foregone "either the heroes win this one or they die" situations.

The problem of fights being formulaic can also be addressed here, although I think the more relevant way to fix that is to simply make sure the tournament doesn't drag on for too long. Like, three to five fights is probably the max number we can really focus on. But we can also dodge the formulaic-ness accusations by making sure the fights have more going on than just "which action figure gets mashed harder." This is where most tournament arcs solve things by making a lot of unique gimmick characters with weird powers (so the heroes can't just smack em around the same way every time) and by giving the heroes either handicaps or new abilities/powerups they're still figuring out. This makes the choreography more interesting, and honestly even a really boring plot can be significantly brightened up by extremely cool fight choreography. "They fight and [character] wins" is a single line in the screenplay that can translate into something very spectacular in the execution. But this is, again, something they did in the YYH Dark Tournament arc, and that was still way too much tournament arc, so I think plotline fatigue is a problem that can't entirely be solved by finding new spices to pepper onto the same bracket structure.

You can, of course, also add emotional stakes like "this character's self-worth is tied in with their victory" or "this character is being manipulated by someone else" or "this character is having a personal crisis and handling it poorly" or even something really basic like "the other people in this tournament think we suck, let's prove them wrong."

The "fuckton of characters" problem isn't intrinsically an issue, because it can also be an opportunity to create and introduce a lot of very interesting secondary characters, but it does unfortunately lock them into an extremely artificially constraining plotline. The problem with a tournament arc is it is literally the same subplot template over and over again until the finale inevitably breaks the format. It's an extremely rigid scenario to lock a character-driven story into, and no matter how individually rad parts of the fights are, the overarching structure is repetitive and it limits the characters' ability to shine. Ultimately, no matter how neat or complicated a new character is, they only exist in the arc to be defeated and then get out of the way of the plot. They can have cool stories when they show up later, but in the bounds of the tournament arc they're just more obstacles.

On paper a tournament arc should be a fantastic way to elaborate on a character. The number one recipe for cool character moments is putting that bitch in a Situation and seeing how they handle it, and "a bunch of different fights with different enemies with different powers and different rules" sounds like an ideal Situation Gauntlet. But practically speaking they're all the same! Outside a tournament arc, the stakes of a fight can be anything and the victory condition can be anything. The heroes can bypass the fight, talk down the antagonist, plan a heist, turn the bad guys against each other, organize a prison break, hide and be sneaky - they can find allies, negotiate with political leaders, get captured or rescued, protect someone from pursuit, navigate a hostile and unfamiliar environment, outwit a super-persistent predator, join an underground resistance movement, run off for an angsty solo arc - but within the confines of a tournament, no matter how wacky that tournament might be, everything boils down to a fight with a clear-cut victory and defeat condition. The space of characterization carved out by this format is very, very narrow, so I think legitimately the only tournament arc I would uncritically enjoy is a short one.

[lesb0]

I am a staunch full on atheist but I like movies that are thought experiments and debates on theology. My problem with Heretic is that they used too many shortcuts to avoid actually doing any theology like Jesusian typology and predestination for example are both in the doctrine of almost all christian sects, and most christians engage with humanistic philosophies and ancient religions ideologically to support their own philosophical growth. None of those ideas are against christianity. Real christians aren't so stupid to believe things like the world was invented 2000 years ago, that's just mormon american christians. Christianity as a whole even considering patriarchal misogynistic colonialism is one of the most deeply intellectually AND narratively interesting and has SO MANY fascinating academic topics to study from, especially in how they intersect with high renaissance exegesis as no other religion has the most famous and visually interesting art movement of all time attached to it

but americans just say "aha, Christians never thought about this! gotcha!" No you didn't get anything. you're just two ignorant undereducated people talking about something neither of you know enough about. And that's what Heretic is, an ignorant and weak man who so desperately wants to control women that he lies constantly, even to himself, to hold power over them.

Which WOULD be a well executed idea if the writers were smart enough to know how much they do not know. Sister Barnes is smart enough to look at some holes in his logic, but it was like when I provoke an undergrad into trying to argue with me so she can have an epiphany on her own. And I LOVED sister Paxton it is so rare that we see a plucky and sweet and brave girl protagonist.

I don't think the directors understood that they were both her and reed, someone curious and silly but absolutely confused about everything around her and a pathetic man improvising an end because he's too insecure to admit that he just isn't smart enough to write an entire film about theology, but too desperate to hold an illusion of power and lies to the audience into thinking he really is still in control. And maybe dumb viewers will believe it. Anyways. I have to study real theology now lol

[cellarspider]

25/30 Eschatology for Dummies

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Once again, we dive into that font of madness, Prometheus. I lied last time, we’re not talking about language today, I want to bash my head against the problem of “what in blazes is the intent of this movie”.

As the expedition enters the alien structure, suddenly Shaw remembers that germs can float.

“Wait. We still don’t know how Holloway got infected. If it’s in the air–”

This is one of those maddening little moments where the script tells me that no, the earlier removal of helmets was not just the oversight of someone who didn’t know better. The script chose violence.

“Smells fine to me.”

So does VX nerve gas. Truly, this is the mental acumen required to become rich.

The movie attempts to raise tension through a ZOOM AND ENHANCE, and cluing in those in the audience who may have been thinking “Ha! Foolish Engineers! How would they ever destroy life on Earth if they don’t have any spaceships?”

Well, turns out, there are these great big buildings called “hangars”, and you can put spaceships in them, sometimes even under the ground. I almost feel like if they hadn’t buried the ship, Holloway would’ve tried to see if he could do a burnout in it.

David, meanwhile, is having a great time. He’s giving a guided tour of the ship (that he explored more thoroughly than anyone else), pointing out their technology (that he learned how to use), explaining what they were doing (which he figured out before anyone else did), and assuring Weyland that yes, he can talk to the Engineer (which no one else can do), blithely skating by the reasons why he knows Holloway didn’t die from an airborne illness and how the Engineers were going to press the reset buttons on Earth. Simultaneously excelling at what he was supposed to do and also anticipating Weyland’s inevitable doom, possibly even that of humanity as a whole. It feels appropriately childish for a character that’s extremely young, extremely smart, and has had the worst socialization this side of Immortan Joe’s war boys.

Weyland doesn’t care about any of that, because he’s a horrible homunculus of an old Englishman formed out of a forty-five year old Aussie. This continues to vex me, even now. I keep trying to figure out why they did this. Did they originally intend for him to be depicted as young and change their mind? Was the mobility aid exoskeleton thing they put him in heavy and cumbersome? It’s hard to see in these screenshots, but he is wearing one.

Honestly, just have Lance Henriksen play another Weyland again. Lance can definitely play scumbags, and it would honestly be funny to have every single Weyland in every single time period played by him. Have him play Vickers too, for good measure. It would’ve taken me out of the film less than this.

At this point, I personally did not care about any characters besides David and the Engineer. Which is a very strange position to find oneself in, caring most about two characters who seem just fine with humanity going pft! 

And I’d like to examine that. Because fiction can put you in all sorts of strange headspaces that can be thoroughly contradictory to personal morals and self-interest. What was the movie trying to do here, and where has it ended up?

I want to start with some assumptions that mass media tends to make. Fiction, in general culture, is often presented as a moral lesson. Your protagonists are virtuous, and anything that stands in their way is villainous evil. The protagonists are also expected to be likable, and the audience is expected to root for them. A moral tale of who is worthy and who is not.

This is only a small piece of what fiction is. No one of these things is required. Villains are not required, sometimes problems aren’t caused maliciously. Protagonists do not have to be moral. Moral characters don’t have to be likable. You don’t have to root for the protagonists. And none of these divisions are binary.

I am uncertain whether we are supposed to root for the protagonists in this movie. Ridley Scott isn’t a stranger to this idea–look at Blade Runner (1982). Is it good that Deckard hunts down fugitive replicants? No. Absolutely not. Is it a compelling story? Yes! It’s beautifully told and tragic! If you make me watch Roy Batty’s monologue I will cry.

So. It is entirely possible that we are supposed to find the human characters unsympathetic. The Engineers created humanity, and then decided to destroy it. This could have been planned from the start–many religions describe cyclical, world-ending death and rebirth, after all. But this movie is heavily influenced by christianity. Those sects that believe in a destructive apocalypse call it the Last Judgment of humanity, something that occurs when the world has fallen into a state of corruption.

Which then brings us to the question: Does humanity deserve that most fatal judgment?

I mean, in real life, I’d say no, absolutely fucking not. The problem of a suffering world is not sanely responded to with “I’ve got a solution: murder everything”. 

This is fiction, though. We are being presented with a vision of humanity. This has the potential to be a counterpoint to the Engineers’ thinking, or their evidence, or a mix of both.

What is it, then? Most of the cast are morons, selfish, or featureless ciphers. They are a very pessimistic view of humanity. And remember, this is fiction. People don’t need to act like real people. When you think about redeeming qualities in yourself, in your friends, in your favorite so-and-so, this fictional realm does not necessarily contain them. In its barest form, it only contains the characters we see.

We’ve got Janek, who’s been charming and indicated he’s willing to stop the Engineers here, but that’s all we know about him. He’s also behaved in negligent ways that contributed to the deaths of Millburn, Fifield, and the nameless guys mutant Fifield wailed on. Christian morality is big on redemption as a path to unconditional absolution, so is he redeeming himself through a last-minute sobering up? Maybe. I’d note he’s missing the “confession” and “recanting past sins” parts that are usually bundled up with that.

We’ve also got Shaw. Shaw has all the makings of a Final Girl, somebody who is destined to survive the plot. They usually have some redeeming quality that makes you want to root for them. What does Shaw have?

Well, she’s got a never super-defined strain of christian faith. And she’s had a really shit time lately, so it would be cruel to watch her get kicked around more.

So, that’s two. Two could be enough in Abrahamic religions–Lot flees from Sodom to Zoar, and it’s spared from destruction because of his presence. Sure, he does some Weird Shit, but he qualified as righteous by whatever standards were at play there. But Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for want of ten righteous people. 

And all that gets more complicated in New Testament stuff, after God’s pinky promised not to destroy everyone again, except for the aforementioned Last Judgment thing. Is this movie, as christian allegory, advocating for a god of forgiveness, or depicting a just god who punishes the wicked?

No idea. It doesn’t have to be clear, obviously, fiction doesn’t have to be clear, any more than it has to be moral. I didn’t personally want the Engineer to sail off and destroy Earth, but frankly, I could see it from that perspective, given what this poor bugger’s met with upon waking up.

Next time: our Engineer wakes up from a two thousand year trauma nap to find some little monkeys yelling at them. Surely, this will go well.

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Alt-text rambles:

https://extra-images.akamaized.net/image/8a/5by6/2021/04/17/8a6f54c4f0ca4bd397cc22aceb4cb30e_md.jpg 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torc 

[girlactionfigure]

He was born on June 10, 1928.

When he was growing up, he was called a “sissy.”

During that difficult time, Murray, as he was then known, “har­bored ongo­ing fear of the per­ils that might lurk out­side of his home and neigh­bor­hood”, according to writer Stephen Whit­field.

He also remembered how fortunate he and his family were to be alive. “The extermination of most of his relatives and millions of other Jews by the Nazis; the intrusive, unemployed immigrants who survived and crowded his parents’ small apartment; his sickly childhood; his mother’s dark moods; his own ever-present depression” - all of this, he survived, according to Patricia Cohen of The New York Times.

He knew he was different, an outcast in a sense. He longed to be accepted.

“Maybe you’re familiar with this story,” wrote Michele Kirichanskaya. “A young boy in a white wolf costume is sent to his room after he runs around the house, terrorizing his family, screaming at his mother, “I’LL EAT YOU UP!” After being sent to bed with no dinner, the boy finds himself in a strange new world, filled with vines and trees and terrible creatures he calls the ‘Wild Things.’ He becomes the king, the wildest thing of them all.

“When ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ was first published in 1963 by what was then Harper & Row Books, no one predicted how it would take the world of children’s literature by storm. Adults were puzzled as their children, once reluctant readers, dragged them to the library over and over again to read this story, one that was unlike any other at the time. Within the realm of children’s books, a space previously marked by the conservative, didactic messaging of Dick and Jane stories, [Maurice] Sendak was a breath of fresh air, having written a child protagonist who was as messy and loud and chaotic as he longed to be.”

He would say, “Grown-ups desperately need to feel safe, and then they project onto the kids. But what none of us seem to realize is how smart kids are. They don’t like what we write for them, what we dish up for them, because it’s vapid, so they’ll go for the hard words, they’ll go for the hard concepts, they’ll go for the stuff where they can learn something. Not didactic things, but passionate things.”

“Maurice Sendak has been one of the most consistently inventive and challenging voices in children’s literature,” according to PBS. “His books and productions are among the best-loved imaginative works of their time. Like the Grimm brothers before him, Sendak has created a body of work both entertaining and educational, which will continue to be popular for generations.”

“Roundly praised, intermittently censored and occasionally eaten, Mr. Sendak’s books were essential ingredients of childhood for the generation born after 1960 or thereabouts, and in turn for their children,” wrote Fox.

“Maurice Sendak (1928-2012), regarded as the 20th century’s most important children’s book illustrator, was born in Brooklyn to Polish-Jewish immigrants,” according to nyclgbtsites.

“Where the Wild Things Are” will be celebrating its 60th anniversary this year.

“Sendak, along with literary innovator and legendary editor Ursula Nordstrom, created a book that would become emblematic of the richness and depth of children’s picture books,” wrote Kirichanskaya. “He explored his own past, and mined and reflected upon his own experiences as a queer, Jewish child learning to grow up in the world. Sendak was, himself, the real deal ‘wild thing.’”

The Peace Page has shared stories of Maurice Sendak in past posts. This is a new story focusing on a different chapter of his life with new insights.

The Peace Page focuses on past and present stories—some seldom told, others simply forgotten, still others intentionally ignored. The stories and chapters are gathered from writers, journalists, and historians to share awareness and foster understanding—to bring people together. We thank you for taking the time to be here and helping us share awareness..

~~~~~

“Sendak occupied an ‘outsider’ status in multiple senses of the word,” continues Kirichanskaya. “Whether it was a physical ‘outsidership,’ gazing upon the world outside from his bedroom window while sequestered from illness as a child in his home, or an internal one as the descendent of immigrant Holocaust victims and a gay adolescent in an extremely heteronormative world, Sendak could never quite blend into 20th century America’s idea of ‘normal.’”

“While it is debatable how early Sendak became aware of his own queerness, he understood how his ‘difference’ was perceived by others, saying in an interview, “You know what they all thought of me: sissy Maurice Sendak.”

According to The Advocate, “Sendak told the Times that he never came out to his parents -- something he says he now regrets.”

He said he never told his parents because "All I wanted was to be straight so my parents could be happy," he recalled. "They never, never, never knew."

In a 2011 interview with NPR host Terry Gross, Sendak said "finding out that I was gay when I was older was a shock and a disappointment. I did not want to be gay. It meant a whole different thing to me — which is really hard to recover now because that's many years ago. I always objected to it because there is a part of me that is solid Brooklyn and solid conventional and I know that. I can't escape that. It's my genetic makeup. It's who I am."

Elisabeth Hoffman of the Baltimore Sun wrote, “Why do we pass laws that isolate, demean and shame people for something so utterly personal? It's no surprise that gay teens are bullied. No surprise that Maurice Sendak had to hide part of his identity from his parents — and from his readers.”

Sendak admitted that he also kept quiet about being gay because the idea of a gay man writing children's books might have killed his career when he was in his 20s and 30s, according to nyclgbtsites.”

~~~~~

A 1970 New York Times article described Sendak as a “42-year-old bachelor” and mentions his “friend,” psychoanalyst Eugene Glynn, who was actually his life partner (the couple lived together for 50 years, until Glynn’s death in 2007).”

He didn’t reveal he was gay until 2008 in the New York Times, when he was 80 years old.

“I dream of him constantly,” Sendak said. “I'm always feeling guilty that I didn't do enough for him. I had my success, which was a distraction and disturbance for him. I'd see people meet him and look away indifferently and I'd hate them. I never betrayed him. I wish I had been more demonstrative, but it's not a thing I do very well. Being gay in the old days was hard, being gay later was weird. I very much wished not to be. I came from a regular depressing family. I was brainwashed.”

After his partner's death, Sendak donated $1 million to the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services in memory of Glynn, who had treated young people there.

In an emotional NPR interview, Sendak said: "I have nothing now but praise for my life. I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more.”

~~~~~

"His gay identity was something that was not really discussed or he didn't promote, but he didn't hide it. He certainly didn't integrate it into his work, but what I think he did integrate into his work was understanding of diversity and an understanding of difference and an understanding of surviving," said Connie Wolf, the out director of the Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Center for Visual Arts at Stanford.

Kirichanskaya writes:

In “Where the Wild Things Are”, “while Max isn’t explicitly queer in the sense of sexuality or gender exploration, his ‘queerness’ may refer to the older 19th century definition of queer as something ‘strange’ or ‘peculiar.’ As we see in Where the Wild Things Are, Max is considered a stranger to his own family. He is ‘cast out,’ banished to his room for excessive and wild behavior. And like Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz (another icon of children’s media that maintains a significant queer following), Max finds himself in a wonderland that simultaneously terrifies and welcomes. It is in the land of the Wild Things where Max finds the space to experiment, identify, and play. He learns how to be a new version of himself, braver and louder than he was ever allowed to be at ‘home,’ while finding a new sense of self and chosen family—an also inherently queer theme— along the way.

“Golan Y. Moskowitz, literary scholar and author of Wild Visionary: Maurice Sendak in Queer Jewish Context, had this to write about Sendak’s family: “In their inability to express love without eliciting terror, the Wild Things, whom Sendak called ‘foreigners, lost in America, without a language,’ are also like queer people experiencing love and attraction in ‘wrong’ ways, according to a prejudiced society.” In the context of xenophobia, antisemitism, and queerphobia, the different elements of Sendak’s life, the ones he himself regarded with both exasperation and deep love, were demonized, lending further weight to the sense of the ‘other’ encountered in his stories.

“At the heart of Where the Wild Things Are lies Sendak’s heart: a boy like Max who was pulled between worlds, between his old Yiddishist Jewish immigrant heritage and the hostile, homophobic American landscape he was navigating. He embraced those who were considered ‘monsters’ by the outside world, and in them he found his chosen family. He taught an entire generation that ‘wildness’ need not be tamed by the artificial boundaries of society—that children like Max could simply be themselves, wild hearts and all.”

~~~~~

Sendak remembers receiving a letter from one fan:

In an interview with NPR, he is quoted as saying, “A little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children's letters – sometimes very hastily – but this one I lingered over . . . I wrote, 'Dear Jim: I loved your card.' Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said: 'Jim loved your card so much he ate it.' That to me was one of the highest compliments I've ever received . . . He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.”

~ jsr

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page

[jujitto]

▬▬ [𝗘𝗡𝗛𝗬𝗣𝗘𝗡] AS HORROR MOVIE TROPES

LEE HEESEUNG [이희승] ; Now you can't tell me Heeseung doesn't give off hysteric vibes. He's the one who would constantly be telling people there is a killer around. And no one would believe him and most people would just call him crazy and look at him like he's stupid. But when he up and disappeared everyone started wondering if what he had told them before he disappeared was true. And best believe when the killings start he is going to be laughing in his grave (yep he got got.)

JAY PARK || PARK JONGSEONG [박종성] ; This one makes the most logical sense out of everyone I'm going to do. Now Jay our very charismatic and somewhat sarcastic boy would have to be the protagonist. It just makes the most logical sense to me because come on no one would actually fall for these subtle noises and creepy sounds that you just all suddenly hear. Jay would honestly not fall for any of this bull crap because he's smart and completely obvious to it all. He would not do any of this stuff that other people would do in horror movies because he would rather survive and not die so thank you. The one person you shouldn't ask to help you survive because he's not going to help you because he's mainly focused on himself. The last one to survive because he's just that bitch.

JAKE SIM || SIM JAEYUN [심재윤] ; Now this one isn't meant to be as rude as I may make it to be because I just feel like Jake would mostly fit this movie character. Jake for me would have to be the blonde mainly because he's confused most of the time. Not because he's dumb or anything but because he literally has no idea what is happening. Sure he fits some of the stereotypical biases of this character like he's pretty and confused most of the time and because he would most likely die from the beginning because he doesn't understand. So that's why he's the blonde but he's not alone so there's that. Also, I can see him accidentally tripping over invisible objects so yeah.

PARK SUNGHOON [박성훈] ; OK now Sunghoon I don't know which movie character he would be because there are a lot of them and none of them really fit the kind of personality he has. But if I had to choose one for him it would have to be ½ of the couple alongside Jake. Though he and Jake were a couple he just had enough of his bull crap and left Jake on his own which ended up with the boy getting killed but he wasn't worried about that. He's lost and doesn't understand anything like Jake did so he ends up getting killed as well. Hey, but that's his fault for being a part of the couple alongside Jake because you know the couple in horror movies is always a little bit slow in the head.

KIM SEON WOO [김선우] ; Now you and I both know there is always going to be a skeptic. The person who doesn't believe any of this crap is happening and tries to make others believe it as well. That just so happens to be Mr. Seon Woo. He doesn't know what kind of fantasy world these people are living in but there was no killer around. He would obviously see the signs of a killer being around but obviously, he'll reject the idea. One of the first people to die because he was a skeptic and so the killer obviously had to chase him down to kill him. And that's the end of that.

YANG JUNGWON [양정원] ; Poor Jungwon who was wrongly accused. As you might have guessed our poor boy Jungwon was wrongly accused of being the killer just because of how he was acting but he was acting a bit suspicious so I wouldn't blame them. He was literally creeping around corners, finding/holding onto weapons, and doing things he was not supposed to. And his excuse for all of it was saying that he was trying to protect himself from when the killer would come but nobody believed it at all. But everyone's shocked he wasn't the killer because he was killed. Poor baby who didn't deserve it at all.

NISHIMURA RIKI [西村 力] ; Now you and I both know who the killer is. And they should've inspected it as well but nope. No one at all should've been surprised that the killer was the one and only Niki. The killer who had his reasons and the killer who claimed that he would do it again if he had a chance to. Though he is the killer he wasn't a very good one because he just left evidence behind like he didn't care for it. At the end of the day, he still got away with killing people. Because no one was going to catch him and he meant never.

[theygotbitchesinmedia]

Whenever I read a book like baru cormorant I'm always left with one burning question: what do the lunatics on Goodreads have to say about this one? I think this bits probably my favorite.

a lot to unpack here but I think my favorite is the idea that in a book where they are explicitly speaking many languages notably none of which are English the term "sodomite" should be taken literally and understood as having the exact same etymology as it does in the real world.

In general the negative reviews on good reads seem very mad that baru was a prodigy which is interesting considering how insanely common that is for a Protagonist Trait especially in sf/f and politically-oriented storytelling in general. Bitches will be rooting for The Chosen One if he's a guy but if a young woman of color just happens to be Very Smart it's so unrealistic that it takes them out of the entire narrative. Many such cases.

If there's one complaint of the series I do have to agree with it's that the rapid fire birds eye view of the main war campaign and most of its skirmishes does feel a little bit oddly paced and lacking in immersion which isn't 100% to the story's benefit, and that we don't get quite as familiar with most of the dukes as wed need to for their characters to be interesting. But I also don't think we're supposed to care all that much about most of the dukes for pretty obvious reasons and I'm unsure how you would make the coyote stuff more robust without writing a book 2-3x as long so I can't be to pressed about it. If this were not a series I would consider the pacing questionable but ultimately this was not a story about aurdwynn this was Baru Cormorants Fun Accounting Vacation | Also Baru Cormorants Tormentous Nightmare

[jacevelaryonswife]

ㅤㅤ Friday the 13th | Modern Headcanons 「AU」

Who would they be? How would they die? Would they serve cunt as final girl? See in the scenes of this chapter.

∴pairing: Aegon and Aemond Targaryen | Jacaerys and Lucerys Velaryon | Fem!reader | Plus: Daemon Targaryen.

∴warning: english is not my first language.

modern headcanons masterlist

Aegon ↺

In the stereotypical horror movie characters, Aegon fits as the hot asshole that none of the group can stand for very long. This is a fact that you cannot deny. He'd be so interested in having sex with you that he wouldn't notice the Hockey Mask killer hanging around the cabin before murdering you both with a machete. Note that I said “you both”, because there is a big possibility that you will die as couples who have sex in horror movies die together. The probability of Aegon being the first to die is SUPER high, like SUPER high, he's not very smart and would be easily caught by Jason — the assassin — when he wanders away from the group to smoke, masturbate or fuck. If by chance he survives, he will turn into the hot asshole who harms the group and causes the death of someone for his stupidity/shit personality, in which case Aemond could intervene and use his older brother as bait while you try to get the fuck out as quickly as possible from that hell. There is no chance of him being a final girl, sorry Aegon girlies.

Aemond ↺

Aemond is the brain of the group, just that. He would be totally rational and try to come up with a plan to make you all survive and escape the killer, or even try to kill him together. He is the typical serious and mysterious character who turns out to be the big key for you to escape successfully, but there is a problem, even if his plan is genius, there is a great chance that Aemond is the type who would tell the group to separate and look for things that might facilitate the escape process. Okay, by the logic of buying time his reasoning is correct, but THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE, DON'T EVER SEPARATE!!! You guys would probably individually die to Jason if you did. So at the end of the day you would be together trying to survive. I don't see any scenarios where he could die, like no one, Aemond Targaryen is a fucking final girl and you can't convince me of the content. He would survive beautifully and run out of camp with you without a scratch (maybe a stab wound to the leg). He’s fucking fabulous.

Jace ↺

Jace is the good guy protagonist who gets along with everybody. He would likely find Aegon's body — or the first to die — and alert the group. He is protective and sensible on purpose to generate an attachment and fear in the audience should something happen to him. Therefore, in any dangerous situation he was involved and comes face to face with the killer before helping you to escape. He's not the typical dumb good guy, but he's not quite the ultimate brains of the team, however, he will always try to save you and Luke from the hands of the masked son of a bitch. However, I see three possible outcomes for Jace’s end. In the first one, he will survive with you and Aemond and serve as final girl. In the second, he almost manages to escape but ends up being caught in the nick of time to your utter shock. In the third and final ending, Jace would sacrifice himself so that you or Luke could escape with life and serve as bait for Jason — I hate to think about it because it would probably happen, my sweet boy doesn't deserve that kind of end. But it's a high possibility, sorry loves. I have to say that the ending where you're in the sandwich between him and Aemond is more enjoyable :)

Luke ↺

Luke, my dear sweet Luke… sorry, the probability of him being killed is extremely high. He's the cute kid who tries to be helpful but ends up being one of the last to die. Probably while you were trying to look for weapons or things separately, he would be taken by surprise by Jason, which would make Jace completely lose control and try to go after the killer — which no one would allow. He could also be left for dead by Aegon or another asshole who tried to get away with it, but was eventually caught or discovered by the group. In the end, there are more chances that he will die than that survive. However, he could serve as final girl in the scenario where Jace sacrifices himself for the group and ensures his sweet little brother's safety. He is our sweet baby, but unfortunately this type always dies tragically, sorry.

You ↺

Now it's your turn. You’re the protagonist, the only female figure in horror movies who is not some dumb bitch who would die stupidly, you are cunning and smart, trying to keep the group together as they look for ways to escape the camp without running into the hockey mask maniac. Therefore, you completely dismiss Aemond's idea of parting ways. I'm totally clubbing, so you would definitely be a final girl and survive alongside Aemond and Jace/Luke. You would find Jason but manage to escape and lose him, warning the others about the presence of the killer. Maybe you could get hurt during the escape, but it would serve victory and post-trauma mental sequelae. Since final girls never hook up with assholes in slasher movies, you'd probably be platonically involved with Aemond or Jace. Sorry again Aegon girlies.

And now a plus: Daemon Targaryen. The fucker is totally bloodthirsty and would try to hunt Jason down, baiting him with curses while holding a big gun. He could be cruel and use any of you as bait, as the end justifies the means for him. Daemon could lay the son of a bitch down for a moment, or he'd die trying and not mind taking him with him.

For the talented @valeskafics, hope you’re okay honey ��� and for my babes @damatheirin @faces-ofvenus @madame-fear 💓

[booksandchainmail]

Hugo Best Series Finalists 2024

I've read at least part of every series, here are my impressions and loose rankings:

October Daye, by Seanan McGuire. I've read: all 18 novels and novellas, most of the short stories The Toby Daye books have been nominated basically very year, eligibility allowing, and they deserve it. This is exactly the kind of series this award should be for: a sprawling story decades in the writing, where early books weren't quite strong enough for awards and later books have to high a barrier to entry to be nominated alone. Looking back, it's astonishing the degree to which this series has grown upon itself over 18 novels, and I respect the level of foreshadowing and delayed reveals. The worldbuilding and progress-over-time is where this series shines, but basically every book of it is a great urban fantasy mystery novel in it's own right.

Imperial Radch, by Ann Leckie. I've read: all 5 novels and assorted stories I really like these! Admittedly I felt that Translation State was good but not great, but the original trilogy remains one of my all time favorites.

The Last Binding, by Freya Marske. I've read: all 3 novels I do like these books a lot, a very nice series of fantasy romances. By virtue of their historical setting, they are about queerness in a way that a lot of queernorm specfic can't be. I especially appreciate their willingness to change the assumptions of their premise

The Final Architecture, by Adrian Tchaikovsky. I've read: all 3 novels These were good! Nice crunchy sci-fi. Unfortunately they didn't live up to the level set by the other works of Tchaikovsky's that I've read, which have all been amazing. These books were enjoyable, they had good plot and characters and particularly worldbuilding, but I didn't come away from them with any deep thoughts or feelings

The Universe of Xuya, by Aliette de Bodard I've read: both novels, none of the shorter pieces I don't know what it is, but I keep bouncing off de Bodard's work, which is unfortunate, because I really like the concepts of her books, so I keep trying them and not liking them. The central romance didn't click for me in The Red Scholar's Wake, and it took me too long to wrap my head around the worldbuilding (possibly this would have been better if I had read some shorter pieces in the same universe first). A Fire Born of Exile was a decent book in it's own right, but as a Count of Monte Cristo adaptation I disliked it.

The Laundry Files, by Charles Stross I've read: The Atrocity Archive Look. I DNF'ed Stross's Family Trade series last year, so I didn't have high hopes going in. It's also probably unfair to judge the entire series by just one book published decades ago (it's not like the first Toby Daye book is that remarkable either). But I did not like this book, and I have no wish to continue with the series. I have no familiarity with cubicle-farm bureaucracy machines, so I think a lot of the humor fell flat. It also felt glaringly, un-ignorably, uncomfortable that with the exception of the main character's love interest (she's so unexpectedly hot and smart, and also gets kidnapped twice) and ex (keeps sleeping around to make the main character jealous), all the other women were small-minded obstructionist petty tyrant middle managers, who the protagonist could finally get one over on and put in their places at the conclusion, with the backing of course of his male coworkers, who all seemed to have hidden depths

[furinana]

Reviewing SMT's 30th Anniversary Event in Yokohama

In 2023 (the year of Nanashi's birthday!) I spent some months in Japan so I lucked out when they announced a Megaten concert right before my departure.

This is a compilation of thoughts from tweets and messages I sent to friends that I decided to turn into a public post for archival purposes.

Disclaimer: unless stated otherwise, none of the pictures I'm using here are mine. Most of them were taken from the event's official account.

May 6th. From Kyoto (the city I was staying) to Yokohama was approx. two hours by Shinkansen. Like how a close friend of mine says, "The thing about Japan is that you ride one train and you just become the biggest car hater immediately".

[I ended up taking an overnight bus for the back trip however, took around 7 hours. Cramped on your legs but your pockets hurt way less]

How is Yokohama at the moment? A bright sunny noon and like this user illustrated, windy as hell (my cap came off once and I had to run in the middle of the street to rescue it).

[KT Zepp Yokohama]

I arrived 4 hours before the concert's schedule so I fucked around Yokohama's cozy Chinatown for a bit, among other places I don't remember. I didn't take into account that you could arrive hours prior to the event to purchase the limited merch line and stare at concept art of mainline games in an exhibiton placed in the entrance. The merch would get sold out in a matter of minutes in the gap between the opening and when the concert would start! Don't underestimate scalpers, folks.

A beginner's mistake, this is how life teaches you to be smart.

[For every 5,000 yen you spent, you got the chance of receiving a colored bookmark of one of the protagonists. A lot of items involved abysmal luck to get. Fortunately I was able to grab what I set my eyes on in the later online raffle so things turned out fine on my end (although I'm currently having to deal with a lot of dupes much to my annoyance. But hey, I have official merch of Flynn and Nanashi now)]

Regarding the exhibition: Not a lot of stuff to comment on. They made a timeline of sorts for each mainline title (except the NES games because fuck 'em I guess) and pretty much most of it was available in official artbooks published previously. Nocturne for example, they displayed the writing process & how they sketched cutscenes and attacks prior to making them 3D etc, which was no-news if you browsed the Ayakashi Monthly book before.

[We weren't allowed to take pictures so I can only show the previews from the official account. We had to stay at a long line to look at each piece in a chronological way so it felt particularly... uncomfortable. I don't like the feeling that I might be slowing down other people so I end up rushing what was supposed to be a serene activity]

The actual exclusive never-seen-before art was regarding beta character & demons concepts from SMT4A:

[Top: Drawn from memory by me. Bottom: The "mermaid" is a reference to the Starbucks logo that interestingly, is also present in Nanashi's room (which could mean there was an intention of Nanashi's only reference of a mermaid being the logo of a cafe that wouldn't exist in-universe anymore. For those unaware, the mermaid in question is actually a siren!]

Here are the descriptions I typed on my phone right after I exited the exhibition (and would use as base for my own sketches a day later):

Chironnupu had two beta forms with the face as it is now where one walked on four legs and the other his legs faded out in a ghost-like manner. He also had a third and more distinct from his current design where he was dressed in Ainu attire on 2 legs and was smiling to the viewer (a Youkai Watch sort of vibe, very cute).

Nanashi had an unseen sketch where Doi drew him with a suspiciously big waist. Yeah, I know it's minor but I wanted to comment on how unhinged Doi is in drawing girly boys. Go off king

Cleopatra had a form where she had dark skin, dark green hair and emerald green eyes (...huh? I just realized I painted her hair with brown instead of green lmao I became fixated in making her look similar to Maria Torres from Trauma Team). Considering how some demons get color variations (such as Vishnu or Moh Shuvuu), some even getting darker skin in adaptations (take Rama in the Devil Survivor 2 anime), perhaps Cleopatra getting an alt that is closer to this beta depiction isn't an impossibility. I can dream

Vishnu-Flynn had a version where his face was the same as how Flynn normally is.

Mermaid had a form where she was supposed to resemble the Starbucks logo where her palette was red&other color (I don't remember if it was blue or green) and showed an alluring evil smile.

Now let's talk about the concert. The structure of how it went was basically alternating between the band playing remixes of soundtracks with gameplay videos on the screen and then pausing for the hosts to talk with the audience and share some free-talks with the musicians that worked on the titles.

Fans used this menorah they sold in the booth as a glow stick (the ones you see in idol events).

[Event announcers Mafia Kajita and Chiaki Matsuzawa in day 1 and 2]

At the end there was a little quiz with gameplay-specific questions, for example what a certain skill does. You had to answer with this little cardboard thing that had a Jack Frost in one side and Black Frost in the other.

Regarding the free-talks, a summary of what I was able to get (take those with a grain of salt):

Kozuka never played any Megaten before composing for the games (he thought they were too dangerous)

SJR composer played all of them

Tsukasa said the songs for the SNES games were a lot longer and better-sounding but unfortunately they had to chop off a lot

Meguro makes sound effects before making the music, finished SMT2 before starting composing but doesn't play games anymore

By the end, Kajita wishes Megaten games were released more often so events like this could happen frequently and Matsuzawa says she's a big Digital Devil Saga fan.

By the way, you could easily recognize the western fans from the audience from how louder and cheerier they were compared to the local ones. Japanese fans are the types that respect silence to a scary degree. For another example, I was able to watch The Boy and the Heron right in the opening week and nobody from the session I went to laughed or made any perceptible reaction to other viewers. The only one laughing in the entire room was my, notably, non-JPN roommate.

When the concert was nearing its end however, the hosts allowed everyone to be as loud as they wanted to thus letting the atmosphere at long last turn closer to the spirit of Megaten... chaotic.

[Going personally to the concert was a totally unique experience compared to seeing it from a screen with diluted audio. You truly had to be there to have your stomach twisting from the echoes coming from the band's instruments]

My personal favorite remixes:

SMT1's Ginza

SMT2's Disco Theme

SMT4's Boss Theme & Map theme

SMT4A's f6 Godslayer (when they showed Vishnu-Flynn on the big screen... 😳)

[ilikereadingactually]

American Rapture

American Rapture by CJ Leede

this book was bonkers in really exciting ways!! it felt almost decadent, the degree to which the protagonist's mundane, internal struggle was so powerfully mirrored in the speculative/horror elements. it wasn't subtle, and i wouldn't want it to be—imo a zombie apocalypse story should be over the top, it's that heightened reality that creates the tension and dread and stakes for me.

the plot in one sentence: an extremely sheltered Catholic girl tries to navigate her religious trauma and find her gay twin brother during the sudden rise of a uniquely American virus that turns the infected into violent sex maniacs.

i was ready and eager for the end-of-the-world plotline—and holy shit, Leede delivered—but i wasn't quite prepared to get so emotionally involved in protagonist Sophie's personal journey. her slow awakening from a fearful, virginal, brainwashed ultra-Catholic to a Lilith-loving bisexual who is willing to listen, change her mind, and embrace and explore her own wants and feelings, was so compelling and poignant! i rose and fell with her, i struggled with her, i was gripped by her anguish and her fragile hope. i truly enjoyed all the characters who slowly assembled around her, too, though to me none of them were quite as fully fleshed out as Sophie. (except for Barghest the dog, who was perfection T^T)

and on top of, behind, and all around Sophie's fascinating character growth, the world collapsed in truly gruesome fashion! the sex-zombie apocalypse walked a really interesting line between horrifyingly titillating and just straight horrifying, digging fingers of dread into every tiny reaction or look or snap of chemistry between characters. the way the tangible fear of this virus made even uninfected bodies seem grotesque and uncontrollable, and the ways Sophie's ultra conservative upbringing echoed and heightened that body horror.....just wow. conflating sin and lust and punishment with very typical human sexual nature and very atypical, inhuman behavior, all together in a big mess of uncertainty and fear, it was all so juicy and layered and good!!!

i'm starting to run out of smart words to describe how much i liked this. i really, really, really liked this.

the deets

how i read it: an e-galley from NetGalley again! definitely going to buy this one, i'm on a roll of books i for sure need to own.

try this if you: dig zombie horror, are a fellow lapsed/recovering Catholic, don't mind a story where not everybody makes it out, are a happy deviant of any kind, or just want a really tense exploration of (presumably) real idiosyncratic Wisconsin architectural landmarks.

maybe skip this one if: you need to avoid stories with a lot of sexual violence and the threat thereof, religious abuse, and where bad things happen to nice animals.

some lines i really liked: moments that felt super ominous to me, plus the bestest dog

My father, thin, sweatered, in his signature round glasses, eyes me over the top of his newspaper and says, "You're going to school like that?" The gentle architect, the meek father. He wasn't gentle that night. His hands on Noah's arms. On mine. I look down at my clothes, the uniform I wear every day. "What else would I wear?" He turns to my mother, and they share a look. My father says nothing more.

---

The body is just another cage, like the house or the family or the church or the town. We don't have full length mirrors at home, and the ones in the bathroom at home and school only show my face. But it has all just been unimportant. Until now. I don't look like a girl anymore. I mean, I do, but I also don't. I've worn bras for some time now, and maybe I've noticed them feeling tight, but I haven't realized how tight this bra is. I thought they were all meant to be uncomfortable, restricting.

---

The iPad volume turns back up as we leave. There are more reported deaths in the Northeast from the flu, and now it has spread to the Midwest. There is at least one confirmed case in our state.

---

Then, faster than I can track, the dog spins his body sideways and throws his whole weight into me, taking us both down to the floorboards, the bowl and its contents clattering to the floor. He sits on my legs and stomach and presses the side of his head into my chest. He whines and drools as he licks my arms. I wrap one arm around his neck and run the other over his back and belly, back and forth. My head comes to rest on top of his. He whines and whines and leans into me, and I hold him as tightly as I can. I know, I know. I'm so sorry. We stay on the floor in the living room for a long time like this, rocking back and forth, I whisper to the dog, his whines rising and falling, drool slipping down my arm. I close my eyes. The kind of contact I have never been allowed. Physical contact with another living being.

pub date: October 15, 2024! if you like to combat election anxiety with stories of even worse timelines, go get this one asap!

[theturncoattournament]

Who would be the best new main character? (Round 1)

Note: I recommend reading this blog's pinned post that explains what this tournament is about before voting

PROPAGANDA:

Garrus Vakarian- None submitted

Sakamoto Tatsuma- he’s a gintama side character based off sakamoto ryoma. he fought in the war with the main character 10 years before the story starts, but then decided to go to SPACE and hang out and do SPACE STUFF and on the way picks up a second-in-command mutsu (who would also make a great protag but this should be a joint ticket if possible since they’re together) -she’s actually one of my favorite gintama characters and a badass space pirate princess w a fascinating backstory! they get like 0 screentime during gintama, same w many other characters who just live in space, but sakamoto & his group the kaientai (taken from history— +, none of them have characters but they have personality & a known group backstory, they could all be characters in this!) are generally implied to be freely interacting with them, including the main villain who also fought in the war and who also doesn’t get screentime! so if they were protags we could get way more space stuff out of gintama as well as all the ignored characters as well as sakamotos “smart person pretending to be an idiot who actually is an idiot” swag next to mutsu’s “deadpan will kill u” swag as protagonist and deuterantagonist of a fun sci fi series!!

[magicalgirlagency]

While rewatching the old Sailor Moon anime, I find the in-universe rumors about Ami and Makoto really interesting. Ami was seen as a snob because of her shyness and Makoto a delinquent because she punches bullies. Both were friendless before Usagi befriended them despite those rumors. Then I thought: "hey, this (the rumor - friendless part) could work very well as concept for a standalone magical story"

So I've read Severance, a dark Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic focusing on a team of ocs. The main idea for this fic is that putting a bunch of random different girls together and then ask them to save the world would in no way mean that they're going to be good friends with each other. While I prefer lighthearted Maho Shojo series, both this fic idea and the rumor-friendless stuff above can make some good Angst in a Magical Girl team. Like, the good character-development kind of Angst, not those shitty shock values and "humans are naturally bad" craps.

My idea is that a mascot searches for 4 different girls with pure hearts and gives them power to become magical warriors to defeat the bad guys, protect Earth and all that jazz like in a normal Maho Shojo show. All of the girls happen to live close to each other - and may or may not be studying in the same school. Pretty standard so far, right? Well, at their school/neighborhood/Im-not-sure-what, there are rumors about each of them already running around. They aren't too horrible (this is a lighthearted story), but still bad rumors nonetheless. The girls believe in these rumors about each other, and there isn't anyone that's brave enough to try and understand their teammates despite those rumors (lack of a genki protagonist). So they're kinda in this awkward situation where they, because of trusting the mean rumors, just assume the other teammates are not nice people. And none of them is really trying to learn about each other outside what they think they know. There might also be fights among certain members of the group, most of them remain rather chill but some are hot-headed. They don't try to hurt each other badly though, and still try to work well as a team to beat up the BBEGs. Their team overall atmosphere is slightly tense, awkward and weird, but not downright hostile and still leave plenty of space for improvement.

Since this idea comes from rewatching Sailor Moon, I think the Smart-but-Snob and the violent-delinquent rumor should be used here as well.

So one of the girls is extremely smart, and maybe infamous for her intelligence, but she doesn't speak much and often doesn't answer when people talk to her. The rumor about her is rather similar to that of Ami, people think she's bitchy due to how she interacts with other students. But in reality, she's not only just shy, but also it's very hard for her to actually talk to strangers (maybe she has Selective mutism) and she's rarely able to actually hold a long conversation. She’s much more into art and poetry instead of science because she found a lots of comfort in expressing herself using words and colors.

The second girl is the “violent delinquent” one. She’s not actively seeking out random fights, but has a clear set of rules on who deserved to be punched and have their chin stick to their nose. She actually chooses to actively avoid people who try to pick a fight with her due to her “delinquent” reputation. She breaks school rules many times to help some students who are mistreated. She also doesn’t care much about herself (often forgetting to feed herself), like if she got in a dangerous situation, she’d literally be the personification of that “ this is fine '' dog meme while shits happen to her. She’d go out of her way to defend her weaker teammates before they even consider each other friends.

The other two members could include:

- a rich girl who doesn’t know how to talk very well, having been friendless for a long time. So when she speaks to someone she could accidentally say some weird shits that offends people without knowing it. But they are scared of pointing put her “rudeness” since her family is incredibly rich and people are scared of getting on her bad side (which is non existence because she is more of a pushover than a bully) So her peers spread a rumor about how she’s this rude rich girl who’ll murder you if you do something wrong. Meanwhile she’s so confused about what is happening, she’s somewhat aware she’s probably doing something wrong, but can’t pinpoint exactly what it is since no one really told her. She and the Smart girl actually were the first two to learn more about each other than what their rumors said about them

*btw, halfway through typing this my brain start to ship the Rich girl and Smart girl together and they are so gay the fluff is giving me a sugar overload. Whoever would write a story with a similar concept in the far future please keep this ship it’s so fluffy

-a girl who hides her face and is really close to one of her teachers. The rumors include one about how she is hiding an ugly, scarred face beneath her face mask and the other one is that she’s bribing that teacher to give her good grades. The scarred parts aren’t as bad as the rumor describes, but she does have some face scars. The mentioned teacher is her aunt, which is why they’re close.

The story follows how the girls grow closer through their fights with the evil forces and eventually learn that the rumors they heard about one another aren’t truthful at all. Later in the story they’re much like a traditional MG team, but the BBEGs have seen them in their early days, so they use the misunderstanding and doubts from those days to try and separate the team.

It obviously didn’t work. However, it did end up creating some angst between the girls because of how they used to treat/think of the others. They help each other out of this guilty mindset and their bond only came out stronger than before - much to the BBEG dismay.

Ah, a story about how we shouldn't judge a book by just looking at its cover. Simple, but effective!

[dragonageruinedmylife]

I have finished my first playthrough of The Veilguard as of last night. I have a lot of thoughts and am overall very happy with this game and the experience, can't wait to play it again. But I really wanted to ramble about something I noticed throughout the game with its structure and the way the romance plays out that reminds me of Mass Effect.

More under the cut since I will be going into the final set of missions for the games with BIG story spoilers, you have been warned.

So, I know Bioware took inspiration from Mass Effect with playstyle since ME is their original action RPG. It was very enjoyable. But I was a fourth into the game, I think, when I started to see some similarities to Rook and Commander Shepard. It's not a one-to-one, mind you! but there was something in the way Rook already had a bit of a reputation and felt very much experienced in the world, as well as how Rook can instill confidence and mentor their companions.

With the romance, the fact that you don't get the Love Scene until there is a moment of quiet before the big battle is very Mass Effect. I do like that it's not all at once, you're still getting romantic scenes and dating the character before the Big Moment, (that was my experience with romancing Davrin, anyway) so thank you for that Bioware.

But the biggest way that I feel they mirrored Mass Effect was the set of missions leading up to the finale. Choosing and then losing Harding when she led the second team felt like a gut punch and reminded me of Virmire. The choices of where to assign your teammates felt like the Suicide Mission in ME2, where if I made the wrong choice that teammate was a goner.

I got an achievement for keeping everyone in the Veilguard alive (obviously outside of that first choice that leads either Harding or Davrin to their death) but that also implies that we can lose them in the finale?? I'm sure we'll get that answer as more people finish the game.

I don't bring all this up because I think Bioware is lazy or copying their other successful game. I think it was smart that they took inspiration from more than just their Dragon Age games, and I honestly respect them for following through with the theme of regret in this game. That sometimes there aren't any good choices but we have to make them anyway.

But the reason I ramble at all—and this is just complete speculation; I have no proof—is that there were hints in the game, especially with Taash's storyline and the Qunari, that felt like it could be a set-up to DA5. And after the credits rolled, there was a line that just said "The Veilguard remains vigilant."

It makes me wonder that if we do get DA5, we might actually return as Rook with our companions. With the similarities to the story structure in ME, it would be another parallel for us to return as our protagonist and get to grow our romances (or choose new ones?) and see where our team goes based on what we chose for their personal quests. Getting to play as the prev. protagonist in a DA game has also been something bandied about in the fandom for years.

Obviously, none of this can be answered right now and probably won't be for years to come since Bioware is shifting its focus to ME5, but it was fun to think about and I wanted to share it.