#but these two have stuck with me since the album came out last fall

[omegalomania]

hey gang what time is it its time for another joe trohman podcast. this actually came out like a month ago but i missed it until isa linked it to me and because i like doing these heres a highlights reel

the host says he appreciates that joe opened the book with the question of whether or not satan fucked his wife to which joe replies "well you know, when you have kids, sometimes you wonder that. you truly wonder what are these demons. i love my children btw they're phenomenal."

sometimes it does get tiring playing the same songs over and over. joe says that "thnks fr th mmrs" has a really good energy and tempo that keeps it exciting to play live

he talks about playing a really short iheartradio christmas show pre-pandemic and nobody in the crowd knew "sugar we're goin down" since they were only familiar with the more recent hits like "centuries" and "uma thurman" and joe said that it made him fall in love with sugar all over again in a weird way ldjfldkfd

he laments recently getting the chance to see wu-tang, nas, and busta rhymes at the hollywood bowl but he didn't go

his love language is giving gifts! he got his brother a custom drum set (which his mom attempted to throw out)

he reiterates that when writing the book he didn't want to be mean to any of his bandmates cause he likes them and thats not what the book is about! the host makes a joke: "like how you guys had that threesome with simple plan...i understand, you don't wanna get into that!" joe is offended that he clearly doesn't know how many guys are in simple plan. "there's more than three guys in there! the orgy was far larger than you give it credit!"

he doesnt remember any other names that the band could have been called but he does think fall out boy is a pretty terrible name for a band. "i can't believe i'm in a band called fall out boy."

discussions of the band origin and how joe funded it with his bar mitzvah money ("fall out boy, funded by judaism!") but when asked about financial gains from the band he says they all split everything evenly and it's one of the things that's helped them last this long

talking about scott ian and the damned things and he talks about how managing a supergroup is like herding cats because everyone is so busy with their respective groups. he says he'd LOVE to do a third damned things record though!

he talks about how weird it was to have this boy band aspect to them when they were at their peak pre-hiatus, because they were all hardcore kids and punk kids.

he recalls that around this time patrick asked their manager, with visible concern, "are we...the nsync to panic at the disco's backstreet boys?"

he's glad that they've outgrown that and kept pushing forward and looking forward, and by now they're no longer a boy band. "we're a man band!"

he thinks it's kind of neat to see the emo movement of the aughts become nostalgic and cool now ("it was not fucking cool when we were doing it [...] we stuck around for long enough to Not Be Lame"), but it's a big thing for fall out boy that they do not want to be a nostalgia act and they want to keep making new albums.

the host semi-jokingly says "so you and panic at the disco are not gonna go out on tour, is what you're saying." joe says "no" very flatly and i lose my shit.

he denies that fall out boy is working on any specific new music. he says they're just piecing things together organically and that no real album has coalesced. (note: this episode aired 11/12, ~2 weeks before the fob8 tribune ad)

he talks a bit about working with brian posehn on the axe and how much he loved doing it! he calls the whole story a metaphor for dealing with pain and trauma and the different ways there are to confront that stuff. he said the axe is coming out as a trade "soon" so people who don't have a subscription to heavy metal can read it

his first concert was tom petty and the heartbreakers when he was 10 or 11

he says the two things that matter most for a band's live show are the drummer and the singer. he then proceeds to be extremely sweet about patrick and andy.

"patrick, he's incredible, he's so gifted, and he's worked so hard with his voice lessons and figuring out how to sing from the diaphragm properly, and he really knows how to work through when he's sick and having real issues, so he's quite a trooper."

"and andy is just a great drummer. when he thinks he's had a bad day i'm like...yeah. sure. i don't think you know what that is."

he did not get laid in high school. first time was in a shared tour bus, listening to testament (a thrash metal band), when he was 19. (they never saw each other again)

since testament was the soundtrack the host asks if he ever gets a reaction whenever joe hears chuck billy (testament's lead vocalist). joe says without missing a beat, "when i see him i do, that's for sure."

he is an avid bowler. he has a wristguard and a spare ball and he used to take lessons. he calls it great stress relief!

[cceanvvaves]

dare gone right?; s.cy

(moved to isanggayfrog) warning: swearing

"Ana, I don't want to do it," you whined to your sister, who shot you a 'threatening' glare. Given that she was older but a few inches shorter than you, you didn't feel very threatened. But you were still in danger of loosing your knee caps.

"You are doing it, and that's final. We agreed last night, remember?" she hissed.

What are you talking about, you may ask? Well, last night you and your sister played Truth or Dare (of course) and you chose dare (of course) to spice things up (of course). Since the next day was a Twice fan meeting you both had gotten tickets to, she dared you to write your number on the gift for your bias, who just happened to be your crush too.

Son Chaeyoung.

Being the daredevil you are, you agreed, thinking that it would be lost among all the other gifts other Onces would be giving.

Well, it seemed to be going well just a few hours ago. You'd written a letter and everything, ending it with your signature and phone number, but now you were starting to feel nervous.

What if, instead of being forgotten, it would be remembered? In a bad way? And now people would think you're a sasaeng, which you definitely weren't.

Too late, the security guards allowed you to enter.

In a matter of seconds you were impressed by the number of people who came, though it wasn't really surprising, since the group was popular.

And you also forgot about the dare, losing yourself in the moment and just living your life.

Until you came face to face with the members. Ana stood behind you, which meant that she'd see you make a fool of yourself first.

Fortunately, it went well, until Chaeyoung.

Fuck, you could feel your heart racing as she sent you a goofy smile, showing off that dimple and making you adore her even more. "Um, hi," you said lamely. She chuckled, signing your album immediately and looking at you expectantly. "What's your name?" she asked.

"Y/n," you answered. Damn, you really need to up your game, this might be a once in a lifetime opportunity, after all.

"Y/n? Nice name," she complimented, making you blush. You timidly reached down and handed her a tiger plushie you'd gotten on the way, as well as your letter. You hesitated handing them for a half-second, but decided to just do it or dread getting a scolding from Ana and a bunch of 'not fair's.

You chatted for a short while until you had to move on, you now feeling more at ease.

~~~~~~~~~~

The fan meet was, hands down, the best day of your life. Sadly, it ended way too fast, and presently you sat cross-legged on your couch, scrolling through YouTube shorts to waste the day.

"You bitch, get your ass off the sofa and help me with these!" Ana yelled, kicking the door down with armfuls of bags.

You rolled your eyes, annoyed at the interruption of your boredom. You strolled over to her and picked up 2 of them, making her roll her eyes at your showing off of strength.

Suddenly, as you two stocked the pantry, your phone rang from the living room. You exchanged glances with Ana and both of you rushed to it, determined to be first.

"Oh my God, it's an unknown number!" she squealed, seeing it from afar. "It must be Chaeyoung!"

"No fucking way," you grumbled. "Probably a scammer or some shit."

She stuck her tongue out at you and dived at the table, causing you to push her away. Just before you laid hands on the little device, she kicked you behind the knees, making you fall.

After loose hair strands, bruised knees, loud yells and a nosebleed, she emerged victorious.

You might have the advantage of height, but she had an iron grip and you just didn't have enough time to pry her hands off before she answered the call.

Both of you fell silent, until...

"Hello?" an unmistakable voice called. No way...

You refused to answer, clamping your mouth shut. You had a silent argument with Ana on who would answer. Her pointed finger clearly said, "It's your phone, bitch. You answer."

Your widened eyes screamed, "But it's your dare!"

"You want me to embarrass you?" Ana mouthed.

"Helloo?" Chaeyoung said again. "Please answer, my manager's gonna scold me for calling an unknown number if this is a prank call."

"U-um, hi.." you stuttered, making Chaeyoung giggle triumphantly. "Hey Y/n!"

You choked on your own spit. "Oh- You remember my name?!"

"Of course! How would I not remember a cute face such as yours?"

"F- Thanks?" you said, eyeing Ana's outstretched hand.

"I'll leave you two, I have to.. fish my walk," she stated, waltzing away.

You and Chaeyoung had a wonderful chat. Somehow, you'd gotten over your lameness and made her laugh a couple of times.

"So..." she started. "Can I take you out?"

You started coughing violently. "Sh- Sorry! Too early?"

Once you calmed down, you choked out, "You haven't even met me!"

"Oh, yes I have. I met you yesterday."

"That was just a few minutes!"

"Do you want to see me again or not?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then let's meet tomorrow."

You ran across your tomorrow schedule, finding the whole day free. "Fine. Okay. I can't believe I'm being asked out by a celebrity," you added in a whisper.

She snorted. "You just don't have the guts to do that yourself."

"Rude!" you said, smiling.

You were so looking forward to tomorrow.

[imabee-oralizard]

This is pt.1 cause of word count.

Palaye concert 4/11/24

Mom and I woke up at 11:30am and started getting ready. Had to do moms hair so it took li her than planned. We left from the apartment at 3pm. Cause of the traffic it took almost 3 hours to drive and we got there at 5:40. Luckily vip hadn’t went yet. Once we all went in we got a signed poster and then waiting to take pictures. Mom got a picture on her phone and I got one on my Sony camera. Palayes friend dude Austin couldn’t figure out how to get to the camera on mom’s phone so I went over to get to the camera. Then he couldn’t figure out how to get my camera on so I turned it on. A lady photographer came over to take the photo on my camera since she knew more. As soon as I went to Palaye Emerson and Remington right away went ‘it’s great to see you’ and Emerson gave me a hug first, then Remington, and Sebastian. But they said that and hugged me like they remembered me. I also gave Remington the letter I’d written. I stuck my hand out and said ‘can I give you this’ while just like staring at him. He took it and said ‘of course’ then slid it into his pocket. It’s the one from the previous concert in September but I added to it and still gave it to him since I wanted to tell him how amazing he is. I stood in between Emerson and Remington for the photo and mom was in between Sebastian and Remington. We also got some of the Fever dream vinyls signed along with the Palaye cd’s and the bastards cd. Then during the concert mom added memory so we didn’t have to worry about photos. I was gonna take some with the Sony but it automatically has a red flash so i didn’t use it. During the concert though I made eye contact with Remington multiple times. He never came over to me to like reach out like he did other people though. But at one point we came over and stood onto the ledge table area that I was standing right next to! He was going to step onto it and I’d moved mom and is hoodies real quick so he had room also since they were black. Had bought them at the concert. They have the picture of Remington with a cigarette in his mouth and the ‘sextape’ over it. Good thing I moved it to because Remington was gonna step right by it and he’d hesitated for a second until I grabbed them. Then he stepped right in front of me! Literally right in front of me. I almost died. Then he went back to the stage after max a minute. Also Sebastian looked at us and the came over to our side of the stage and was posing right in front at the perfect angle so I got some photos of him that I’ll have to edit and they’ll be great. The venue was super small so we were super close to the stage. No hates or anything. Mom and I were in the second row. I couldn’t see Emerson like the whole time cause the angle. I could see him more than mom could but not much. At one point he got up and started playing the guitar but I couldn’t see him aside of the other guitarist being in front of him. I also told the guy to move so I could see Emerson. After that song he went back to the guitar. The last song they played was lonely I think. Got a picture of the set list at the start also. During the concert Remington came out to be there for the pit. He also climbed on top of people. Then he also hung upside down and then sung on the ceiling. I yelled to Emerson but he didn’t look over. He also didn’t answer much during the vip question and answer. Was told by someone that he was sick. They did say that they have a new album coming out in June and will be back over here this fall. After the concert we got some posters off the wall along with two guitar pics from the workers. Then we went outside and I got a picture with Remington and a signature on the sign. Also got the same with Sebastian. I know mom took bad photos. I also asked her to take a photo on my camera and she somehow got that blurry. I have no clue how because it’s hard for me to get it blurry. Sebastian heard her say it was blurry though and he said he’d retake the photo in second. We did but she just took it on her phone instead. Didn’t see Emerson sadly.

[fortunawren]

lyrics iii

“LOST BOY” by Troye Sivan

I fell in love with this album circa 2016, and overplayed it so much that I lost interest but now it’s come back around to nostalgia??

My favorite lines:

“So what are you waiting for? Cause someone could love you more I'm just a lost boy, lost boy I say I wanna settle down Build your hopes up like a tower I'm giving you the run around I'm just a lost boy Not ready to be found.”

“Flightless Bird, American Mouth” by Iron & Wine

Twilight did this. We allllllllll know Twilight did this. I’ve had unrealistic standards for romance ever since Twilight entered my life in the 6th grade. I bit a kid once.

Anyway, lines:

“I was a quick wet boy Diving too deep for coins All of your straight light eyes Wide on my plastic toys Then when the cops closed the fair I cut my long baby hair Stole me a dog-eared map And called for you everywhere Have I found you? Flightless bird, jealous, weeping Or lost you? American mouth Big bill looming.”

“Carolina” by Eric Church

Eric Church wrote this song about North Carolina. Well, I’m a South Carolina girl so… and secretly the biggest hick. 👀 Honestly, this song puts me at ease and helps me reconnect with my roots when I’m feeling too far up in the clouds.

I’ve got two favorite sets of lines from this song:

“Sometimes I grow weary From going' all the time I love to take a minute Let you ease my mind I'd love to see my mama Maybe go for a drive But I got to play the star in some little town again tonight Don't get me wrong I love what I do It's just another song about missing you”

And, then, of course the chorus:

“Like a phone call from my baby Saying honey I miss ya, I miss ya like crazy Just like the song of a siren song Oh Carolina Carolina[x2] Keep calling me home”

“Easier Than Lying”

I loved that this song came up on shuffle. After my ex died, I had to come to terms with how bad the relationship was and honestly Halsey came out with this banger album full of rage and hurt and anger and realizations about the world. It really gave me clarity.

Especially because of this line,

“I sleep with one eye open and one eye closed 'Cause I'll hang myself if you give me rope I lost all my faith and lost all hope That everything means anything at all One eye broken and one eye bruised 'Cause I gave myself away for you You liar, you don't love me too It's easy for you after all Losing you is easier than Lying to myself that you love me.”

I said that last part like a manifestation, bruh. Over and over again.

“Peppers” by Lana Del Rey

This is a new song on my playlist largely due to TikTok, but I was thinking about some bad past behavior and feeling a little shame for it and I heard the lyrics to this song and it settled the religious guilt/trauma.

“Me and my boyfriend listen to the Chili Peppers We write hit songs without trying like all the time, all the time I take off all my clothes, dance naked for the neighbors I'm like, "Fuck it, gonna give a show," I open up the blinds I threw caution to the wind, get onto the bike Take a minute to yourself, skinny-dip in my mind I'm in love”

“Down” by Jason Walker

This song comes from The Vampire Diaries soundtrack. I don’t know what episode, but probably one horribly devastating where Damon is the sassy King that he is.

But I’ve probably cried to this song seven times in my life.

“Not ready to let go 'Cause then I'll never know What I could be missing I'm missing way too much So when do I give up what I was wishing for I shot for the sky I'm stuck on the ground So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down I thought I could fly, so why did I drown? I'll never know why it's coming down, down, down.”

Bonus: “Echo” by Jason Walker !!! It’s even sadder.

“Easy (with Noah Cyrus” by Demi Lovato

Wherever you stand with Demi, she has a beautiful voice. I personally think she’s been through more than a person should ever have to and that she’s reacting to her trauma and the media needs to stay off her back…but I digress.

Additionally, if you’re not following NOAH CYRUS please do. Her voice is lovely and her music is heart-wrenching.

Lines:

“The hardest part of leaving is accepting the reasons That somehow we keep repeating endlessly The hardest part of leaving is to hold the heavy breathing back (Ooh, ooh-oh-oh-oh) From showing you how hard it is for me (Hard it is for me) To make it look so easy.”

“Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac

If you’ve never seen that meme where it’s like, “One day you’re a child, and then the next the lyrics to “Landslide” finally resonate and you’re crying in a car wash” well….here we are.

This song has literally gotten me through so much. It provides some deep clarity if you’re receptive to the message.

“I took my love, I took it down I climbed a mountain and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills 'Til the landslide brought me down Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?”

“Lookalike” by Conan Grey

My shuffle is clearly refusing to give me any happy songs, and I desperately want to be in a better mood. THAT BEING SAID, Conan is amazing.

Lines:

“And I'll admit that I sometimes, maybe, might Think about you at night, well, almost every night No matter how I try to hide And erase you from my mind I'm dying To find a lookalike 'Cause when you look in his eyes Hope you think of mine And when you look at that smile Hope I cross your mind I hope in your head You see me instead 'Cause you've been in mine every day since then Maybe it's time to find a lookalike No, I can't lie I need a lookalike”

😭😭😭😭

“Hard Feelings/Loveless” by Lorde

THANK WHATEVER HIGHER POWER THAT THIS WAS THE NEXT SONG. If you haven’t been entranced by Melodrama yet, what are you waiting for? “Green Light”, “Writer in the Dark”, “Sober II”—I OWE IT ON VINYL.

So, this song is technically two songs. It had a shift, which I absolutely love, so we’re going to do two sets here.

Set one:

“'Cause I remember the rush when forever was us Before all of the winds of regret and mistrust Now we sit in your car and our love is a ghost Well, I guess I should go, yeah, I guess I should go Hard feelings These are what they call hard feelings of love When the sweet words and fevers All leave us right here in the cold Alone with the hard feelings of love God, I wish I believed ya When you told me this was my home”

I mean…she’s amazing.

And set two:

“We're L-O-V-E-L-E-S-S generation L-O-V-E-L-E-S-S generation All fuckin' with our lover's heads, generation Bet you wanna rip my heart out Bet you wanna skip my calls now Well, guess what? I'd like that 'Cause I'm gonna mess your life up Gonna wanna tape my mouth shut Look out, lovers.”

Anddd that’s all.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Songs of the Summer, 2022: Late to the Party Awards

[masterpost]

Intro

This is a category I've had in my personal Best Of lists for a while, because I always feel bad that I’m super slow with music--I usually don’t fall in love with songs until long after the buzz around them has passed. The way I see it, songs become truly special by finding us at that specific moment when we need them and finally, fully get them--I think that's what it means to say something "aged well". So this list is dedicated to those songs: those that haven’t made it onto any of my previous lists, were released during the 2021-2022 school year (the time period covered by my last Best Of list), and finally caught my eye this summer. This is my [after]party, and I'll be an obnoxious gg stan if I want to!

1. Alive by Lightsum (May 24, 2022)

Before listening to "Alive", I had managed to ignore Lightsum completely. This, I'll admit, was mostly because of petty annoyance at yet another group debuting with a single (I understand that business things influence this but also... come onnnnnnnnnnnn). So yes, I knew "Vanilla" existed, but I didn't listen to it, and I didn't even know about their second song, "Vivace" (very regrettable, as I would have liked it's WJSN-esque sound on first listen).

But then that tiny but explosive sound bite of "Alive" kept showing up in k-tube videos, and after about two weeks of "YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE" blaring randomly in my brain, I caved in and listened to the whole song. "Alive" is delightfully audacious music, fully embracing both the Itzy and the Gfriend sides of the girl-group spectrum so that even if you don't like it, the song will definitely be stuck in your head. It turns out their whole discography is full of dance music that manages to be both crisp and wild-sounding in a way that doesn't let me ignore it any longer--I was missing out last year, and I'm so glad "Alive" wormed its way into my brain and finally won me over!

2. In My World by Rocket Punch (February 28, 2022)

When I first listened to this album, all my attention was on "Red Balloon". I have a preference for the simplest Rocket Punch tracks, ones like "Lilac" and "Ring Ring (Acoustic Ver.)", but "In My World" got to me eventually. TheBiasList sold it as synth in the tradition of "Take On Me" in a review from back when it was first released, and, though it didn't click with me on first listen, "In My World" built a little nest in a back corner of my mind because of this description, waiting for its moment.

And here I was this summer, craving sweet, high-energy girl-group music after Yena won my heart with her summer album. "In My World" was exactly what I needed, and it hasn't lost its grip on me since. The whole song is decorated with fast-moving, shiny things--melodies and synth riffs and high notes--that make it so, so exciting. It's as glossy as "Bim Bam Bum" (yes, I like that one, please don't murder me), but with a kind of energy their other tracks could only dream of!

3. Good Boy Gone Bad by TXT (May 9, 2022)

I formally apologize for not getting this one at first--I was younger then, and I've learned from my mistakes since. My excuse is that I was distracted by the b-sides (hi, "Trust Fund Baby", you still make me unreasonably sad), but I recognize now that "Good Boy Gone Bad" is probably just the best noise ever??!? All the textures--the whispering, the crunchy syllables, the layers of scream-along shout-singing--combine to create something that makes my heart race like the loudest noise music without feeling overwhelming or desensitizing me by the second chorus. The production knows how to be quiet without slowing the whole song down, and the contrasts in volume (can you tell I just really love the whispering in the prechorus?) push some little happy-button in my brain. I think this is the most I've replayed a song in this style since "God's Menu"!

4. In the Mirror by BOL4 (April 20, 2022)

As a huge BOL4 fan, I was bored out of my mind by this years' album. The day it came out, I sat down to listen to Seoul and just zoned out for a while. I still can't remember what "Seoul" sounds like (my mind just replaces it with RM's track of the same title), and "What Make Us Beautiful", though it did make its way onto a few of my playlists because it sort of fit the mood I was going for, isn't a track I can say I enjoy. So imagine my surprise when I realized I had completely missed "In the Mirror" the first time around (looking back, I'm guessing I just quit the album halfway through and went back to obsessing over Filmlet, the release that got me into BOL4 in the first place).

"In the Mirror" is classic angsty alt-rock, and Jiyoung navigates the transitions between soft, bouncy vocals (think: "Some" and "Hug") in the verses and all-out wails in the choruses excellently. It embraces my favorite parts of the genre by making my heart stop in the moments before the chorus hits, as if I can't help but breathe in deep and prepare to scream along, and by leaving plenty of space for guitar in the postchorus (look, I just really like intense guitar! there's a reason "Blank" is my favorite BOL4 song). I could listen to this one forever--"In the Mirror" manages to fit alongside the best BOL4 fluff (I'll give Jiyoung's performance the credit for that one!) while also coming off as a very genuine exploration of new musical and emotional territory.

5. Super Yuppers! by WJSN Chocome (January 25, 2022)

I thought this one was fun from the first day it came out (that bridge is both hilarious and very satisfying to listen to!), but it didn't find any lasting spot on my playlists during winter & spring. Similar to "Alive", though, YouTube forced me to hear the same sound bite (shuPEO shuPEO geuREOmyo) over and over again, and by the time summer rolled around, the chorus had imprinted itself in my mind and I realized what a triumph of performance this song is. "Super Yuppers!" is no brain only pink dresses music, and each member of Chocome fully embraces the shallow, Mean Girls-esque vocal stylings that entails (NO BUT DID ANYONE ELSE THINK OF "SEXY" FROM THE MUSICAL WHILE LISTENING TO THIS??). "Super Yuppers!" is all aesthetic, and I couldn't appreciate it more.

[doomedandstoned]

Chrome Ghost Drop Massive New Single, “Where Black Dogs Dream”

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

Before us lies the House of Falling Ash, the illustrious, sprawling, dynamic new LP from Sacramento's CHROME GHOST. Propelled by the stout-hearted rhythm section of Jacob Hurst (drums) and Joe Cooper (bass), frontman Jake Kilgore (guitar, synth, vox) takes the listener through a veritable four seasons of moods (interrupted briefly by two interludes). Each song (or "episode," as I prefer to think of it) is so full and brilliant in its use of tone, rhythm, and contrasting sound.

Kilgore's vocals tend towards the clean side of the spectrum, though he can roar like a hellbeast when the situation calls for it (as on the album's first single, "The Furnace"). In spirit, they are forever searching for something more, perhaps here or in the great beyond.

Today, Doomed & Stoned is premiering the second single from 'House of Falling Ash' (2022), the band's third full-length record. The 12-minute song rumbles right out of the gate like a hound trained on the scent of something, for this is indeed "Where Black Dogs Dream." The drumming is captured especially well by sound engineer Patrick Hills at Earthtone.

Compositionally, "Where Black Dogs Dream" plays out like an epic poem, and this means any preconceived ideas you may have about it are soon to be tossed out the window. However they put it together with all its twists and turns, Chrome Ghost are masters of balladic songwriting. I especially dig the vocal harmonies and that voracious low-end is simply undeniable. This ambience really brings the words to life, as well.

We asked Jake Kilgore to give us the inside scoop on the band's latest single, which features Susie McMullan from one of our favorite Bay Area doom acts Brume in the song's wistful second section:

This song had a long and complicated journey to completion. The original seed that became Where Black Dogs Dream came from a long improvised jam between Chrome Ghost and our friend Yseulde during the demo recordings for our last album 'The Diving Bell,' which took place in 2018. There was a particular chord progression that stuck with me and I spent a couple years battling with it before unlocking the ideas that became the latter half of the song. Once we had Susie McMullan of Brume add her vocals to the climactic moments of the track, we knew the deal was sealed.

The first half of the song was another battle in itself. Many different ideas and iterations of those ideas came through on a revolving door; Mastodon-style prog fingerpicking, My Bloody Valentine-style heavy shoegaze, Kyuss-style droning, but nothing would stick until we landed on the riff that you hear on the recording now. We wanted the song to start like a bomb going off, then the extended ambient section by Yseulde would be the dust settling until we slowly start crawling out of the heap with that bass line and end in a triumph of perserverance.

Thematically there are multiple references to the imagery of the album cover in the lyrics, and the song itself being split into two major movements happens to take place on track 3 of 6. This song is a musical and emotional turning point on the record. One that ends with peaceful acceptance with the knowledge that what is to come may be more chaotic and violent than ever.

I've been following Chrome Ghost almost since the start, and this represents some of their finest material to date. Look for House of Falling Ash to release on vinyl via Seeing Red Records on October 28th (pre-order here).

Give ear...

House of Falling Ash by Chrome Ghost

Lyrics

Barren black skies glowing Smoke and ember Cloak the waiting Eyes of lovers

Distant shadows calling O, their broken Half-remembered Cries are long gone

Buried and forgotten I ache to bloom Under fallen ashes And rays of gold

Where is my protector From all corrupt? Ever do I wander No home, no hope No home No hope

The blowing wind carries The song of dogs dreaming And leaving the known To let it all go

To let it all go

SOME BUZZ

Chrome Ghost is a Sacramento based Melodic Doom band formed in 2015 by guitarist and vocalist Jake Kilgore and drummer/multi-instrumentalist Jacob Hurst. Following the release of their first full-length, Choir of the Low Spirits, and their two EP's, Reflection Pool and Shallows, bassist Joe Cooper entered the fold and appeared on their second full-length and much heralded release, 2019's The Diving Bell.

In the turbulent years following the winter of 2019's The Diving Bell release, Chrome Ghost have returned with their latest and most sprawling album, House of Falling Ash. This record sees Jake, Jacob, and Joe re-uniting with their long-standing creative partner and engineer Pat Hills at Earthtone to present an expansive album that covers everything from Doom, Shoegaze, Americana, with inspiration ranging from Philip Glass, Ennio Morricone, Fleetwood Mac, and Boris. Building upon the already vast soundscapes they created on their brilliant sophomore LP, The Diving Bell, the band have reached an even new plateau pushing their brand of sonic dynamics to the very limit. Strap in for the best musical journey of 2022.

Over the past couple of years the band have been fortunate to share the stage with bands like YOB, Helms Alee, Big Business, Whores, Kowloon Walled City, CHRCH, Usnea, and many more. Look for more dates to come.

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[wavesoutbeingtossed]

It’s funny how differently people interpret music. I was looking something up about “Page” by Ed Sheeran (for… reasons… 👀) and a couple of reviews/takes on the song paint it as a narrator who is selfish and/or in the throes of addiction lashing out at someone and I… do not see it that way at all. (I could see the addiction thing but I don’t get the selfish/narcissism at all.)

Broadly speaking it seems to be about a person being cut down by their partner (or whoever the “you” is in the song) who has left them, searching in vain to make the pain go away and looking for any sign of hope in a hopeless situation. (And how in spite of the pain, if the person gave a glimmer of hope about it being salvageable they would give in yet again.) I’m not saying my interpretation is right, but it’s just wild that something that seems to be so obviously about a person in pain searching for answers in the wake of their partner’s change of heart/change of feelings/leaving can also be seen as… something else lol.

Before anyone comes at me I don’t follow Ed so I don’t know what or who the song is about but I’m just saying Page and Punchline are on a certain playlist of mine

[stargazing-and-peoplewatching]

a collection of lyrics that make me think of someone else

i think it's time to go now i think my curtain's falling just don't forget about me when you get out of college if it's my final album and if i am forgotten i hope i made you smile that's all i ever wanted

both my current college friends who are already graduating next year and my old high school friends who i feel like i'm falling out of touch with. i have this,, fascination with being forgotten, you'll see.

am i ready for love? or maybe just a best friend should there be a difference do you have instructions? maybe i'm stuck on what i see on tv i grew up on disney but this don't feel like disney

i love you, angel. i'm not going to leave, but god this lyric plays through my brain every other day. i knew how hard this would be and it still knocked me off my feet. i'm going to keep trying.

maybe a hundred bad days made a hundred good stories a hundred good stories make me interesting at parties

i miss you. you introduced me to ajr and this was the first song you showed me. you thought it fit sylvie and the time, and i think it fits you now. i wonder where you are. i hope you're okay.

and i took a job for just july but feels like i might be here for life yeah, i'm in it now, i'm in it now could i start again somehow? ... so i spent last night blowing up my life now you won't see me again cheers to the front, and cheers to the back and cheers to the 2010s i could hate my guts when the sun comes up but i like myself like this i like myself like this

this is for the same person as the last one. i remember you saying how you liked this song when the album came out. you had that shitty taco bell job over the summer and i haven't really heard from you since. we still wish you happy birthday. we leave posts for you like leaving a light on for when you come back. i would get it if you don't though. maybe you're figuring out how to move on. know we love you.

two months since you got back how have you been and are you bored yet? ... that makes a lot of sense this place is such great motivation for anyone trying to move the fuck away from hibernation ... time moves so damn slow i swear i feel my organs failing i stopped caring 'bout a month ago since then it's been smooth sailing i would leave if only i could find a reason i'm mean because i grew up in new england i got dreams but i can't make myself believe them spend the rest of my life with what could've been and i will die in the house that i grew up in i'm homesick

you don't like noah kahan. i associate you with this song because when it came on at 2am you said you don't listen to him because his songs would be too real for you. you flipped off my laptop at the chorus. that night we talked about how we tried to get out of our childhood spaces. that's the easiest way i can put it, because nyc doesn't really count as a hometown, does it?

are you tired of me yet? i'm a little sick right now but i swear that when i'm ready i will fly us out of here

nowadays i only go to you when i don't have anyone else to talk to. i try not to, you deserve better than that. yknow you were probably the first transmasc person i ever met. you matter so much to me and you were a lifeline and we don't really talk anymore. it's probably my fault. back when we were younger, back when i didn't know how to play the ukulele, you played and i sang and that was the first interaction i remember having. i kept trying to recreate it. that last time didn't feel the same.

so can i call you tonight? i'm trying to make up my mind just how i feel could you tell me what's real anymore? i hear your voice on the phone now i know i'm not alone just how i feel could you tell me what's real anymore? cause i wouldn't know.

it feels crazy, i feel crazy thinking i've lost a dozen people to distance and time. you all are right there but it doesn't feel the same anymore. we're all growing up and we don't have the time anymore. yknow, i'm thinking of doing my old experiment again. i could. and then maybe i'd feel close to you guys again. i miss staying up with you all. now i just do it alone.

we were tight knit boys, brothers in more than name you would kill for me and i knew that i'd do the same and it cut me sharp hearing you'd gone away but everything goes away, yeah, everything goes away but i'm gonna be here till i'm nothing but bones in the ground and i was there when you grew restless left in the dead of night and i was there when three months later you were standing at the door all beat and tired and i stepped aside

i think about those characters we made once. you were the murderer and i was the ghost. the days when we were the closest pair feel like forever ago, and if i said it like that, you'd probably say it's both of our fault. that i can't be mad that i also let our friendship fall through. it is my fault, isn't it. every duo i write is what i wanted us to be. i miss you. i thought we'd stick by each other's side forever. i know it's my fault.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Archetypes Collide - Self-Titled / Currents - The Death We Seek

It's true what they say that when you get older, your tastes in music kind of "slow down," so to speak. You're not listening to as much new music, and you're stuck listening to a lot of old favorites, but in the last few years, it's been necessary. I've been revisiting a lot of my old favorites, because of COVID and trying to find some kind of solace in the madness that our world has presented us with. There was a period of time where I didn't listen to anything new, but that changed at the end of 2021 when I spent some time catching up on releases from that year, plus a bit of 2020, and throughout the last couple of years, I've been getting into new releases. Things have slowed down now, but that's partially because I haven't found anything I care that much about. When it comes to consuming music (as well as writing about it), I'm more selective now. I'm only listening to what catches my ear, and not what I feel like I have to listen to, let alone write about, as that's why my postings are very sporadic now. I've also noticed another trend, especially lately -- I'm listening to music that's a lot more "generic" than I'd like to admit. Not that it's bad, but I've been listening to stuff that's more straightforward, fun, and catchy, versus weird, unique, and off the wall. I used to love music like that, and I still do from time to time, but I like stuff that I can have stuck in my head more so these days. A lot of my favorite bands and albums have that in common, but it's because those songs and albums are so iconic and catchy, it's hard to forget them.

Today I wanted to talk about a pair of records briefly that I feel very similarly about, and they both fall into the realm of "generic" hard-rock and metalcore that doesn't necessarily do anything I haven't heard before, but works pretty well for what it is. I've been getting into a lot of hard-rock and metalcore that's rather generic, but the hooks and breakdowns (if there are any, that is) are quite strong and they keep me coming back to the album. Two albums came out this year that took me a few listens to really get into, but I've been enjoying them quite a bit since their release. Those two albums are Archetypes Collide's self-titled debut and Currents' The Death We Seek. These two bands are quite different, as the former is more of a hard-rock meets metalcore band, whereas the latter is a djent / technical metalcore band, but both bands are similar in the sense that they're nothing necessarily special in their respective genres. That's not to say they aren't good, but there are other bands that do what they do better, although they are very good at what they do. Both of these albums are catchy, fun, energetic, simplistic, and somewhat memorable, all things considered. They do what they do well, and for fans of metalcore and hard-rock, that's honestly all you need, really.

Archetypes Collide released their debut self-titled album this year, and if you want a record that takes a lot of influences from various sub-genres of hard-rock and metalcore, you'll probably really enjoy this. I hear elements of Linkin Park, Bring Me The Horizon, Wage War, Breaking Benjamin, and even labelmates I Prevail (whose newest album True Power I've grown on quite a bit, too; I'll have to review that album again, and talk about how I've grown on it, but I do enjoy the album a lot more now), specifically nu-metal, hard-rock, alt-metal, metalcore, and even some pop-rock here and there, specifically with hooks and melodies. In other words, there is a lot to enjoy, and if you enjoy most mainstream styles of rock, you'll find something to like in this 41-minute album that never feels too long or too overbearing. Fans of the various kinds of hard-rock and metalcore that are popular right now will find something to like here, but I will say that on their next record, they do need to find something that makes them stick out a bit more. They can make the Linkin Park and Bring Me The Horizon worship work just fine on this record, because it's their debut, but they need to step up their game if they really want to make an impact.

As for Currents, however, this band has been around for the last decade, give or take, and this is my first experience with them. Known as a djenty / technical metalcore band, this record reminds me a lot of stuff like Erra and Northlane, but they have a few tricks up their sleeve that keep me coming back to this record, as well as make them stick out somewhat. Their vocalist, for starters, is very strong and honestly carries most of this album, but the breakdowns on this record are great, too. A lot of them sound alike, but they're really damn good, nonetheless. The Death We Seek is also only 41 minutes, so, it's very short, and it never feels like it's too long, but like with Archetypes Collide, they definitely need to develop more of a unique sound, because as cool as their sound is (and they do have some interesting guitar riffs throughout the record), it doesn't stick out as well as other bands. In terms of djent bands, there are better bands, but the only real major djent records we've gotten this year are the new Periphery album (which is good, but it's very long and self-indulgent), and the new Veil Of Maya record (which I didn't really care for, because it's even more generic than this), so it says a lot when this is the best record in that vein we've gotten this year.

I feel very similarly about both albums, despite them being relatively different, at least in the sense that these are generic records that are catchy, fun, and short, even if they don't necessarily reinvent the genre, or anything close to that. That's not why I like them, though, and that's the point of this double review. I wanted to highlight how albums like this work a lot more for me now than they did maybe a few years ago. It could be due to the fact that I'm more selective with what I listen to. I'm not listening to every single generic metalcore band anymore, so I'm not sick of this sound, or I'm not listening to 20 different forgettable bands in that vein. It's also probably due to just enjoying catchier music these days, and just wanting to enjoy music more than analyze it. I'm a music fan first, and while I won't say these two records are the best I've ever heard, I enjoy them for what they are. That's all I need. I can enjoy these albums for what it's worth, and while I can admit they're generic, they don't hinder that enjoyment. I'm just not looking for music that's very weird or inaccessible anymore, because I don't come back to that kind of stuff a lot. If you're a metalcore fan, I'd recommend checking these out, you might find a couple of your favorite albums of the year.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Missin My Baby

A First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: Inspired by my boo @jackharlowsthings thank you mamas for this idea! I hope I did it justice and that you like it!

Synopsis: You and Jack have never been without each other for an extended period of time since you were both 14 years old. So what happens when it's your first tour promoting your new album and he's not with you?

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Rapper!Reader

You tried to quickly wipe away the tears that were threatening to fall as you stood in front of the mirror before your manager Brandi walked into your dressing room to tell you that it was almost time for your set.

"Hey, lil bit. You okay?"

"I'm fine." You answered dabbing at your face so you wouldn't mess up your make up that Julissa had just finished.

"You know this is the second time I caught you crying today. You aren't fine."

"I am. How much time do I have?"

Last thing you wanted to do was explain what was going through your mind and the whirlwind of emotions that came with it.

"I'm going to let that slide for now. But you're on in fifteen."

"Okay."

Truth be told you were overwhelmed.

This was your first big tour and the first time you had ever been away from your husband as well as your best friends for a long period of time.

Jack was so proud of you and the last thing you wanted was to let him down. He really stuck out his neck for you with telling DJ Drama how you were just as talented and deserved to be signed too.

But, one thing was clear.

You missed your husband and couldn't wait for tour to be over.

You missed your bed, your pets, and having some quality down time in order to recharge.

You had been going non stop for an entire year and knew that you were about to break sooner or later.

You felt it.

But you had to be on tour for another month and a half.

Jack had come to your first few shows and stayed with you for two weeks.

Then you were on your own.

You didn't dare tell him that you cried after he left.

The separation anxiety was real.

You made sure to talk to him every day despite the time difference but he noticed that something wasn't quite right.

You never held back anything from one another and Jack knew there was something wrong.

He just didn't know how to approach this because it had never happened before.

You sighed before slipping on your shoes and began to make your way to the stage.

Just another month and a half to go.

--

A smile instantly hit your face when you saw Jack's face pop up on your phone indicating that you had a FaceTime call.

"Smush!" You exclaimed while getting comfortable under the comforter in the bed.

"Hey baby girl. How's everything going?"

"Fine." You shrugged your shoulders because you didn't want to get into it.

You'd rather talk about anything else but being on tour.

"Tell me what's been going on. You haven't really been saying anything when I call you."

"It's just wake up, do interviews, meet and greet, perform, and go to sleep to do it all over again."

"Babe, you're not out with Brandi and Julissa?"

"Hmm, sometimes."

You were now staring off into space and Jack's concern for you was increasing by the second.

It was now or never.

He had to figure out what was wrong with his wife and try to fix it to the best of his ability.

"Baby, what is going on with you? You just seem off."

"I'm fine, Jackman."

"Y/N, chill. I'm just trying to help. We always support each other."

"Oh, do we?"

"Wait a minute. Where is this coming from?"

"It's nothing. Whatever."

"Naw it's not whatever so you better start talking because we not doing this shit."

"Drop it."

"I'm not dropping anything because you literally started this shit. So you want to be an adult and tell me what's wrong or keep being childish?"

"I have things to do, I gotta go."

"The only thing you need to do right now is communicate with your husband!"

"I'm not communicating shit with someone who doesn't give a flying fuck about me."

"What the hell did you just say to me!?"

"You heard me, Jackman. You not fucking deaf!"

"Naw Y/N you must got me confused with someone else because when did I ever and I mean EVER act as if you aren't my entire world?!"

"I'm hanging up now."

That night you cried yourself to sleep. You don't know what came over you to yell at your husband the way you did but the damage was done. After you hung up on him, he called you back multiple times but you didn't answer.

Jack was thoroughly confused and couldn't make sense of what had happened.

Did you feel like he wasn't being supportive enough?

If that was the case then why didn't you tell him?

He was worried about you because you had never acted like this and the two of you had never had an argument that bad in almost the entire ten years that you had been together.

He wanted to be mad at you, he really did.

But, he could tell his girl was hurting and he needed to figure out why she said what she said and felt the way she did so you could go back to being your normal bubbly self that everyone loved.

All of PG went out to dinner that night and Urban could tell that something was wrong with his best friend.

Jack was there, but he wasn't there.

All he could think about was you.

Urban waited until it was just the two of them to confront him and find out what was going on.

"You good?"

Jack looked up from the sparkling water that he was drinking to look in Urban's direction.

"Huh?"

"What's wrong with you? You've been off ever since you called Y/N."

"I really don't even know."

"What do you mean?"

"We had an argument and I can't even tell you what it was about. All I asked her is what had been going on and she went off on me."

"That doesn't sound like her at all."

"Right and then she hung up and I tried to call her back and she never answered."

"You need to ask Brandi."

"I did and all she told me is that she's caught her crying multiple times the past few weeks multiple times a day but she won't talk to her."

"Maybe we could try and get Neelam to talk to her?"

"It can't hurt, but I don't think she'll open up to her either."

Jack really didn't want to ask Neelam, but at this point it couldn't hurt.

She noticed something was off when Jack was having a hard time focusing and confronted him.

He finally told her after twenty minutes and she volunteered to text you.

Neelam- Baby girl! How are you mamas? We miss you!

You- Miss you too. I'm ok.

Neelam- You should know better than to try and lie to me

You- I really am ok.

Neelam- Cut the bullshit

You- Jack told you, didn't he?

Neelam- There really wasn't anything to tell because both of us are confused. The two of you have never had an argument like that and he's been sad ever since

Well fuck

Now you felt like an ass

You- I didn't mean to yell at him 😔

Neelam- Well you need to tell him that and tell him what's wrong. We're all only trying to help. I know it can't be easy being away from him since you two literally would never go anywhere without each other

You- That’s it.

Neelam- What's it?

You- I miss him so much and I am so overwhelmed. I feel like my body is going to shut down and I'm not used to this.

Neelam- You have been going non stop for an entire year. Go talk to your man.

You- He's mad at me 🥺

Neelam- No he's not, he's worried about you. He can barely focus.

You- I have an interview in ten minutes. I will later.

Neelam- Don't forget!

You didn't have an interview, you just didn't know what to say to Jack.

Now the both of you were unable to focus and it was all your fault.

You felt bad and you weren't quite sure where to begin to fix the mess that you had created.

It took a few hours before mustering up the courage to text him knowing that he should be asleep and would see it when he woke up.

You- Stink, I'm sorry for what I said the other day. I know that you only want the best for me and you always tell me how proud you are for doing what you knew I could do all along. I'm just really overwhelmed and I miss you 😔 I'm not used to being away from you this long and I really can't wait until tour is over. I love you and see you soon 💕

It had been more than a day since you sent that text to Jack, but he never responded making your anxiety increase.

You saw where he had read it and nothing else and you just didn't know what to do.

You placed your phone to the side and began to head to the side of the stage since there was only about thirty minutes until your set.

And you would make it a priority to call your husband when you finished.

You had been standing there for about five minutes when you felt arms around you and immediately smelled his cologne which was your favorite on him.

Your eyes immediately began to water as he turned you around and kissed you.

"Baby I'm so.. "

"Smush, why didn't you just tell me you were overwhelmed?"

"I didn't want to let you down and I missed you."

"You can literally never let me down. I actually mentioned the other day how surprised I was because you were taking this all in stride not knowing how it really was affecting you."

"I thought I could handle it, but as soon as you left I just went on auto pilot."

"You have to communicate with me and tell me these things mamas."

"I know. I need to be better at that. But you made me so nervous when you didn't answer my text. I thought you were mad at me."

"I admit I did get mad, but I knew something was wrong. When I saw it, I immediately finished up what I had to do and got the first flight out I could find. You're my wife and I don't care what I have going on, my priority is making sure you're good."

"I just love you so much." You replied while looking up at him and kissing his nose.

"But not more than I love you."

"No, cut it out. We'll be here for eternity because yall will be going back and forth."

"Shut up Brandi!"

"I'm serious! Anyway, get ready. Just a few minutes left"

You turned to Jack one more time before leaning up to get another kiss from him.

"We always need to talk through our emotions, baby because that is never happening again. You tell me the minute that something isn't right. You promise?"

"I promise."

"Good, now go out there and kill it like you usually do because we have some business to take care of later."

"Wait, what?"

"Now you know for a fact I didn't come all this way to not let you ride my face, right?"

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

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@fluidsentiment

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@alinadolans

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

[reidslovely]

That’s the Price: Honeymoon (Chapter Three)

Authors Note: Sorry for disappearing- college is hard. I think the title says it all! Based on the Lana song, and her best album tbh. This chapter is a fan service chapter really- whores (lovingly)- the next few chapters will put us into the climax(ish). I truly have no idea how long this series will be, so hang around if you want <3

Pairing: Mob! Peter Parker x Fem! Reader

Content Warnings: THIS IS A SMUT CHAPTER, SO PLEASE 18+ ONLY. Choking, Breeding kink, Peter holds (Y/N) down. Ownership, oral (fem recieving) If I missed anything let me know.

As always please reblog and leave a comment if you’d like!!

Sand stuck to the bottom of (Y/N)’s feet as she laid her body out on the cushioned wood of the chair. Those pesky grains falling back to the ground. Her wet, tired body finally giving out under the sun that hung over Italy, arguably the best place to be tired. 

“For the misses.” 

In a cartoonish manner a drink appeared in front of her. As she reached out for it she thanked the lady with a smile, and a quick ‘grazie’ before sipping on the fruity mixture. Had she known a honeymoon could be so relaxing, she wouldn’t have turned down the offer for the first one. Her skin was tanned, and there was nothing to worry about. Everything was taken care of for them: dinner, cleaning- nothing was left undone. What made it better? Peter was always in arms reach. There was no scary what if, or anxiety if he’d come home after a meeting. These last two weeks were a teeny tiny bite of normalcy, the two desperately needed. 

This was heaven. 

Lowering her sunglasses (Y/N) caught a glimpse of Peter walking out of the water, his surfboard dropping onto the sand as he started to strip off the wetsuit. Her eyes raking over his chest, even from this distance she could count the scars that lined his chest. The fresh wounds, ones she had cleaned hours before their flight, were finally starting to heal. Sliding her glasses back up her face, she leaned back on the cushion of the chair watching his walk to her. 

“Waves kick your ass?” She asked, her sweet tone only adding to the faux sting of offense on her husband's face. 

“Italy makes you mean, dove.” 

Peter’s body collapsed on top of hers, (Y/N) tilted her head back at the impact of his body, a laugh escaping her. Her red fingernails dragged over his back lightly, tracing heart shapes on his toned back as she stared down at him. “I think Italy makes you very handsome.”

Peter’s breath fanned against her collarbone as he laughed, her eyes would take the shape of hearts if they could. 

“You flatter me, bubbeleh.” 

(Y/N) hummed leaning down for a kiss, her hands traveling up to his cheeks holding him in the kiss. Peter lifted himself up over her in the lounge, his hands holding himself up by the arms of the chair. This honeymoon was the most physical the couple had been since the start of their marriage. Peter saw (Y/N) as something made of glass, something he had to handle carefully as he plowed into her. Cradling her head in his hands as he told her how beautiful she looked under him, telling her he was going to make sure everyone knew how beautiful he found her after getting her pregnant. A guttural, primal moan falling from his lips as she came undone under him, milking his cock. She wasn’t just glass, she was a piece of blue china that belonged behind glass to be admired, and held carefully.

Lost in her memory, it took Peter’s fingers brushing under her bikini line to pull her back. (Y/N)’s hands reached down wrapping around his wrist, pulling them to rest on her tummy. “Easy, tiger. Remember where we are.” She whispers breathlessly. Peter dropped his head to her shoulder, a laugh escaping his lips. 

“I just..I get so wrapped up in you.”

He peppered kisses against her lips, not allowing her to respond. 

“I feel you and there’s this immediate response. I get carried away, you make me so weak.”

(Y/N) giggled against his lips, her hands resting against his chest. She turned her head looking around the beach. They were the only ones there, no one would tell or see if she had let Peter just slip her bottoms off. Her head had leaned back as Peter moved his kisses down her neck, between her breasts. 

There was a shuffling of feet, and a brief gasp that caught them off guard. “Mr. Parker, I- I’m sorry but you have a phone call” “Tell them to wait, I’m doing some important business.” Peter had waved the call off, looking at (Y/N), ignoring the outstretched phone. 

“It’s your aunt.”

Peter kissed (Y/N)’s cheek lovingly reaching for the phone. “Head back to the house, dove. Get cleaned up, we have dinner plans.”

(Y/N) nodded in response, wiggling herself out from under Peter. Giggling at the sound of May scolding Peter for almost brushing her off. She slipped her shoes on, and tied the beach cover around her body as she started her walk back up to the villa. 

Hot water ran over her body, washing the awful mix of sunscreen and sand off her body. Her eyes screwed shut as she ran her hands over her body, her body still on edge from the slightest pleasure she felt on the beach. Her hands lingering on her chest for a little longer than usual, cupping and squeezing as the suds washed off her body. Her thumbs raked over her hard nipples before sliding down the sides of her body and back to her hair ringing it out. She turned off the shower, and walked out wrapping the silk robe around herself. 

“Mrs. Parker.” Peter greeted her from the doorway, causing her to jump slightly. 

“You scared me, how long were you standing there?” 

Peter smirked as he stalked towards her, his hands laying over the silk of her hips. “Long enough to see you fondle yourself.” 

“Pervert.” Laughs (Y/N) softly, her hands resting on his forearms. 

“Oh my Dove, you don’t even know the half of it.” 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, turning in his grip to face towards the mirror- the image of the two of them, the picture of domestic bliss. “Need to shower. Laid you out a dress, I hope you don’t mind.” 

“Of course I don’t” 

Her eyes didn’t leave the mirror as she watched him undress, he tossed a mischievous smile over his shoulder at her. She felt her face flood with heat, turning back to her reflection as she started to fix her hair. 

Her eyes couldn't help but wonder at his figure in the shower, the way his muscles flexed. Peter wouldn’t ever accept the compliments she showered him with, the only thing Peter saw beauty in was in her. When putting himself next to her he saw a mess of a man, someone so undeserving of her. 

“Go get dressed, because if you’re still in here when I get out we won’t make it to the reservation.”

(Y/N) laughed, setting her makeup bag and hair brush in the top drawer. “At this point I wouldn’t complain. I love your- our business but I didn’t really think we’d be doing deals on our honeymoon.” She whined, stomping her feet as she walked out. Her fingers danced over the satin of the green dress that laid on the foot of the bed. 

“I know but this is the only one, I promise. It is one that was set up long before our wedding.” Peter tsked as he crossed the threshold of the bedroom, his towel around his waist as he stared down (Y/N). “We can fake nice can’t we?” 

Peter’s hands held her face in his hands, his wet hair dripping down his face as she stared at him. (Y/N) put on her best fake smile, but the longer she stared at him the more genuine it grew. “Just for a little while?” 

“An hour max, then we will get gelato from that little place you liked so much and if you’re well behaved I might have a little treat of my own.” 

(Y/N)’s jaw dropped in a laugh as she swatted Peter’s hand away from her face. “Go get dressed.” She laughed, her hands pulling at the strings of her robe. The soft fabric dropped to the floor, as she walked past Peter. She could feel him practically glued to her backside as she shifted through the drawer of the dresser. Tossing black briefs over her shoulder, Peter caught them like it was nothing. Damn him and his dumb reflexes. Sliding the purple lace up over her legs, she kept her eyes down fighting the heat rising through her body as Peter stared her down. 

“Can I-“

“Get on the dresser.” 

There was no denying Peter Parker what he wanted, a chill ran all over her body. “I just got these on.”

“Yes and you look gorgeous my dove, but I want them off and you on the dresser..please. I’m changing plans a little.”  

Peter now stood behind her watching her chest rise and fall, and the smile fighting her features. 

“But dinner, you have people waiting.”

With a huff Peter turned her, and lifted her onto the dresser. “Do you want to wait? Yes or no?”

(Y/N) shook her head, she didn’t want to wait, she just liked to hear him convince her. “No, I just like to hear you beg.” That made Peter laugh, bumps covering her body feeling his nose trail against her neck as his fingers worked into the line of the panties. 

“Oh I’ll beg, but never the way you do. Isn’t that right, Dove? Bunny?..Slut? Which are you gonna be tonight?” Peter whispered loud enough for her to hear, his mouth wrapping around her nipple. Her mouth dropped open in shock, but no sound escaped. Peter smirked against her breast, hearing the thumping of her heart loud and clear in his ears. 

“Now listen to me very closely. I am gonna go down on you right now.” Peter pulled away to talk, placing a tender kiss on the middle of her chest. “Then during dinner you’re gonna be so good, and polite to the investor. Then..” Peter pulled his gaze to her, looking in her eyes. (Y/N) smiled blissfully at him, her legs spreading from the look alone. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as he trailed a hand over her thigh. “Then, we’ll come home and I’m gonna make sure you leave this trip nice and full. We’ll have a baby on the way come September.” 

It was simple, she was going to get pregnant on this trip no matter what Peter had to do. He made that clear as soon as they had touched down in Italy two weeks ago. She couldn’t complain, he’d make a wonderful father: he wanted to make her new motherly desire real.

“How does that sound Dove?” 

Peter’s voice carried from between her knees, she hadn’t even noticed him dropping to his knees. His nose bumped against her clothed clit, pulling a hiss from between her lips. “It sounds great Pete.” She smiles down at him, his fingers tugging the purple fabric down her legs tossing them somewhere in the room. 

“I still can’t fathom that this..” He reached up pulling her closer to the edge, her legs opening to show her pussy to him. “is mine.” Peter breathed out against her thigh, placing a tender kiss on her inner thigh. His lips kissed against her clit softly, before letting his tongue circling over the bud. Long fingers teased at her wetness, Peter choked on a moan. 

Her head leaned back against the mirror, her hand grasping onto his hair as a loud moan fumbled out of her mouth. His fingers thrusting in and out of her, his assault on her clit pushing her so far so quick. “I can..god.” She fought for her words, laughing at herself through the pleasure. He made her the best type of pathetic. Peter pulled off her clit, finally coming for air, his thumb took his mouth's place rubbing slow, taunting circles around her clit. 

“You can cum, come on baby. Come on Dove.” 

His encouragement flustered her, (Y/N)'s chest grew with warmth as she looked down at her husband between her thighs. This was love, it was the small things; like going down on her on a dresser. Peter dived back between her thighs, fingers pumping in and out of her. Licking at her clit, drawing her closer to the end of the rope. Their moans mixed, (Y/N)’s grip on Peter’s hair tightening as she finished on his face. Both chests heaving up and down, Peter’s slick face coming up to kiss her. 

It was all she thought about during dinner. The kiss they shared still lingered on her lips, if she focused on it long enough she could taste it. The chill of Peter’s wedding ring on his finger drew her out of her thoughts. “Did you hear the question Dove?” His sweet voice carried in her ear, she turned her head from her husband to the two men across the table. 

“No, I’m sorry.” 

“You’re fine. We’ve been talking business, we've probably bored you half to death.” The dark haired man laughed. (Y/N) smiled in response, her hand holding tightly onto Peter’s under the table. 

“When are you two planning on having kids? That was my question.” 

(Y/N) looked at Peter, her excitement peaking through. “Soon hopefully.” Her eyes followed back to the older man, smiling at him. 

“I remember you both from when you were just babies. Your families were an interesting mix..Ben never cared much for Tony.” Alfred says looking between (Y/N) and Peter. The mention of his name set a dark feeling through the couple. Tony Mathers had disappeared after Harry dropped him at the hospital, the last image of him was him getting in a black car leaving the hospital. (Y/N) kissed the back of Peter’s hand, the scaring and brushing having gone down but not left completely. “Are you going to arrange relationships for your kids?” Alfred’s voice pulled the two out of their own world and back into the moment.

“No.” Peter was quick to answer. “No, I would never ask my kid to do what we did. They need to find pure love, organic. (Y/N) and I just got lucky to have that.” His fingers brushed against her cheek causing her to blush. 

“You’re a beautiful couple. Reminds me of my Marisa and I when we were your age.” The older man thought for a minute before signing the papers in front of him. “You just found yourself a new investor Mr. Parker.” 

The two men stood thanking each other with a hug. (Y/N) stood behind Peter, shaking Alfred's hand graciously. “Don’t worry about the bill, I know the owner. Go enjoy the rest of your honeymoon.” 

(Y/N) slipped her shawl over her arms, her hand reaching out for Peter’s. Who quickly found her hand, engulfing it with his pulling her out the doors of the restaurant and into the car. (Y/N) quickly gave their driver address, before closing the partition. 

“I love hearing you speak. I don’t care if it’s Italian, Portuguese, though May is hoping you’ll take up some hebrew.” Peter laughs, pulling her closer into his side kissing her nose. Having spent the night talking about business and babies, the mix did something interesting to him. There would be no time for gelato tonight. (Y/N) giggled, her hands flattening out his white button down. 

“Trying, I’m trying!”

Peter’s hand snaked up her thigh watching her, (Y/N) could drown in the shine that was in his eyes. Whenever he looked at her there was a specific brown glaze to them, she wanted to sink into him. Find a home in his ribs. “Remember our plan?” 

“Yes..” She whispered. Her eyes brushing over his soft features, a contrast to the thoughts no doubt dancing through his head. “Yes..Daddy.” 

“Neshama sheli.”

The words fell from her lips before she could stop them, it was a name they played around with once. But hadn’t tried since, till tonight. (Y/N)’s lips pulled up into a smile seeing Peter’s excitement grow on his face. The car came to a jolting stop, breaking the intense connection between the two. Quick thank you’s where muttered to the driver, as the lovers rushed out in a race to the door. (Y/N) walked ahead of Peter, rushing to get inside the villa. Once she was in, her muscle memory carried herself up the steps and to their bedroom. Pretending to go about her nightly routine, she stripped from her satin dress and into the baby blue nighty she had hung on the bathroom door. She admired herself in the mirror, taking in the memory of just hours prior. Another figure lingered behind her in the mirror, Peter unbuttoned his shirt starring her down. 

The nickname alone brought a warmth over her, she turned from the mirror to her husband. Staring at him with her loving, doe-like eyes; Peter almost flattered and lost the confidence he built. 

“Yes, Daddy?” 

It was back. 

“C’mere.” As he motioned her forward, she tried to hide the smile on her face. Playing her role of confused housewife well. 

“What were my rules for after dinner?”

(Y/N) pondered for a minute before Peter started to walk her forward to the bed, his hands gripping on her hips. She giggled out, shrugging her shoulders. “Dunno.” Peter’s disappointed tsk could be heard from behind her, she loved playing this game. 

“We really need to work on your listening Dove.” 

Her excited laughs filled the room, as he spun her to face him. Peter captured her lips in a kiss, as he laid her out on the bed. He pulled back, finishing the last few buttons on his shirt. “I said.” He started as he began unbuttoning his pants. “If I remember correctly. I was going to get you nice and pregnant, was it not?” Peter climbed between her legs pushing her further up the bed, pushing the nighty up her hips.  (Y/N) watched him in awe. It was her turn to show him what she had for him. 

“Oh yeah..” She replied sweetly, her legs lazily parting, flashing her bare cunt. The growl Peter let out was primal, his head dropping forward. “Are you okay Daddy?” 

Peter placed soft kisses along her knee cap, up her thigh, all the way to her center. “’m perfect. In heaven actually, sweets.” His queens accent drew out from between her thighs, as she squeezed her thighs around him. There was no warning as Peter began to devour her for a second time that night, his tongue drawing circles around her clit, sliding down and dipping into her hole. Her legs twitched, still sensitive from earlier. Peter’s moans vibrated through her, as he rubbed his harderend cock against the mattress.

“Daddy..daddy please. No more just fuck me.”

“Oh no..no, I’m not gonna fuck you. I’m going to put a baby in you- that’s different then fuckin’” He grinned, lifing his head up kissing back up her body. In a flip of a switch Peter’s hands wrapped around her forearms pressing her deeper into the mattress. His hard cock pressed against her thigh, his precum leaking out on her thigh. 

“Do you realize that? How it’s different, dove?” 

All she could respond with was a dumb smile that surely set a fire deep in both of their stomachs. 

“Cause yeah, when I fuck you I’m deep in you. But this? What I’m about to do to you I’m deeper than ever, you’re milking me.” As Peter’s words spilled out of his mouth in a mumble of pleasure, his cock pressed against her hole teasingly. 

(Y/N) tilted her head back, little moans leaving her mouth as Peter slid in. His teeth latching down on the center of her neck, letting out a moan that only came from a deep dark place. It was so aggressive, making her insides feel like they shook. The only feeling that compared was the scream she let out as Peter pushed deep inside her, his hand replacing his spot on her neck. Squeezing ever so gently, as he looked down at her soaking in the moment. 

“I love you Peter.” She whispered, looking up at him. Peter kissed her lips gently, contrasting from the grip on her neck. 

“I love you too, Dove. So much.” 

His hips started with slow, deep thrusts; his lips still resting against hers. (Y/N) bit down on his lip in reaction, drawing a gasp from him. Her legs wrapped around his hips, pulling herself up for a better angle. Taking the hint Peter had picked up his movements, the hand on her neck squeezing before dropping to her hip grabbing hard enough to leave a bruise. 

“God, do you feel that? How deep..how deep I am in you?” He fumbled with the words, broken and mixed in pleasure. (Y/N) nodded, her hands sliding up his forearms to his biceps digging her nails into his arm, in pleasure. 

“Yeah, s’good.” She whimpers out, closing her eyes. Tightening her legs around him, she clenched her pussy around him begging for it at this point. 

“God, do that again and I’m not gonna last.” Peter groaned, his head dropping alongside his demeanor. (Y/N) took it as a dare, clenching herself around him once again. The hand on her hips pushed between her legs rubbing her sensitive nub. 

“Need you to come first. Then I’ll give you what you want. I’ll get you nice and pregnant, you- you’ll look s’pretty.” 

Her legs trembled around him, broken wines falling from her lips as the bundle of pleasure finally snapped. Finishing on his cock, her legs tightening once again holding him in place as he finished deep inside her. Peter dropped his weight on top of his wife, (Y/N) not even having the energy to push him off. 

As they laid there catching their breath, Peter kept himself snug inside her his hand rubbing a mix of patterns on her stomach. (Y/N) giggled, breaking the loving silence, she kissed him lifting a tired arm to run through his curls. Peter peppered loving kisses on her collarbone, she squirmed at the tickle of his stubble. (Y/N) closed her eyes for only a minute, waiting to get up as Peter was still nestled inside her. 

She woke up late the next morning, clean and clothed. The left side of the bed empty, she sat up rubbing her eyes looking around the room- balcony doors open and the wind pushing the curtains through the air. Looking to her left, she smiled, letting out a school girl giggle. The pink hydrangeas sitting beautifully in the sun of the room. She plucked the card off the top reading Peter’s chicken scratch, before laying back down and watching the distant waves of the beach.

“So you can listen to instructions.” Peter’s teasing voice came from the doorway holding a tray of breakfast. He sat the tray on the ottoman reaching for a pillow. He sat her up, and adjusted her hips up. (Y/N) watched him lovingly, the feeling of safety and adoration washing over her. This was home, and even with the changes coming nothing would take them away from each other.

@bxcketbarnes​ @sincericida​ @toomanyfictionalboyfriends​ @andrews-lovr​ @helloheyhihowdyheya​ @raajali3​ @ateliefloresdaprimavera​ @a-lumos-in-the-nox​ @mango-mastani​ @megmehz​ @lateridk​ @adhdhufflepuff​ @lunaleah​

[curiositymemes]

ATLAS : ENNEAGRAM SENTENCE STARTERS.

taken from the 2019 album released by sleeping at last, consisting of songs based on the nine enneagram personality types. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

ONE.

“hold on for a minute.”

“i believe that we can fix this over time.”

“let me finish.”

“we’ll only know for certain if we try.”

“i want to sing a song worth singing.”

“i’ll write an anthem worth repeating.”

“now i have learned my lesson.”

“i’ve spent my whole life searching desperately.”

“grace requires nothing of me.”

TWO.

“sweetheart, you look a little tired.”

“when did you last eat?”

“come in and make yourself right at home.”

“stay as long as you need.”

“tell me, is there something wrong?”

“you can count on me.”

“you know i’ll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat.”

“let me take your coat.”

“i will love you with every single thing i have.”

“i will love you without any strings attached.”

“it’s okay if you can’t catch your breath.”

“no, i don’t want to talk about myself.”

“tell me where it hurts.”

“you’re good as new.”

“i don’t even know where to start.”

“i just want to love you.”

“i just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself.”

“and what a privilege it is to love, a great honor to hold you up.”

“i will love you without a single string attached.”

THREE.

“maybe i’ve done enough.”

“your golden child grew up.”

“maybe this trophy isn’t real love.”

“with or without it, i’m good enough.”

“i finally see myself through the eyes of no one else.”

“it’s so exhausting on this silver screen, where i play the role of anyone but me.”

“i finally see myself unabridged and overwhelmed.”

“a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell.”

“i only want what’s real.”

“let my heart feel what it feels.”

“he’s/she’s/they’re/we’re/you’re/i’m worthy of love anyway.”

FOUR.

“i’m turning out the lights.”

“remember how to see?”

“for a moment we get to be glorious.”

“maybe i’m hiding behind metaphor.”

“maybe my heart needs to break to be sure.”

“i’ve fallen in love with a ghost.”

“i lost my balance when i needed it most.”

“this blurry photograph is proof.”

“it feels like truth.”

“i’m stuck swimming in shadows.”

“it’s been forever since i came up for air.”

“what if we already are who we’ve been dying to become?”

“a reflection of magnificence.”

“(it’s) hidden in you, maybe even in me.”

FIVE.

“i want to watch the universe expand.”

“i want to break it into pieces small enough to understand.”

“it feels like an out-of-body experience.”

“now i can’t put my mind to rest.”

“i can’t help but second guess.”

“i’m hypnotized by this anomaly.”

“such strange uncharted territory.”

“my armor falls apart.”

“if i could let myself be seen, even deeply known.”

“i was already brave enough to let go.”

“it’s hidden in heartbeats, exhales, and in the hope of open hands.”

SIX.

“i had the most vivid dream.”

“my feet had left the ground.”

“i was floating to heaven.”

“i could only look down.”

“my mind was heavy, running ragged with worst case scenarios.”

“i woke up so worried.”

“oh god, i’m so tired of being afraid.”

“if i’m being honest, i’m not sure i’d know how.”

“i wanna take shelter but i’m ready to fight.”

“i feel a little paralyzed.”

“maybe i’m stronger than i realize.”

“i want to believe; no, i choose to believe.”

“fear won’t go away, but i can keep it at bay.”

“with a vigilant heart, i’ll push into the dark.”

“i’ll learn to breathe deep and make peace with the stars.”

“is it courage or faith?”

“there will be light always waiting behind even the darkest of nights.”

“no matter what.”

“somehow we’ll be okay.”

“don’t be afraid.”

SEVEN.

“we could try everything.”

“i’m serious.”

“what about danger?”

“so what?”

“what about risk?”

“i’m restless for whatever comes next.”

“how wonderful to see a smile on your face.”

“a welcome home parade.”

“a secret handshake.”

“i’ll find the silver lining no matter what the price.”

“i’m hungry for whatever comes next.”

“let me tell you another secret of the trade.”

“it feels like sinking when i’m standing in one place.”

“i want to be here.”

“i feel hope, deep in my bones.”

“tomorrow will be beautiful.”

“i’m ready for whatever comes next.”

EIGHT.

“it was like a switch was flipped.”

“i was just a kid who grew up strong enough.”

“god, that was so long ago.”

“i was little, i was weak and perfectly naive.”

“i grew up too quick.”

“now you won’t see all that i have to lose and all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it.”

“i won’t let you in, i swore never again.”

“i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected.”

“i want to break these bones ‘til they’re better.”

“you were wrong.”

“my healing needed more than time.”

“when i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things, i see the familiar.”

“now i’m a broken mirror.”

“i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided.”

“i’m standing guard.”

“i’m falling apart.”

“all i want is to trust you.”

“show me how to lay my sword down.”

“here i am.”

“pry me open.”

“what do you want to know?”

“i’m just a kid who grew up scared enough.”

“here’s a map, here’s a shovel.”

“here’s my achilles’ heel.”

“i’m all in.”

“i’m at your mercy now.”

“i’m ready to begin.”

“i am strong enough to let you in.”

“for the innocent, for the vulnerable.”

“i’ll show up at the front lines with a purpose.”

“i’ll give all i have.”

“i’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again.”

“i’m invincible like i’ve never been.”

NINE.

“who am i to say what any of this means?”

“i have been sleepwalking since i was fourteen.”

“honestly, it’s easier to let myself forget.”

“i’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life.”

“wake up.”

“fall in love again.”

“there’s so much worth fighting for, you’ll see.”

“it looks like empathy to understand all sides.”

“i’m just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes.”

“show me what to do.”

“how do i forgive myself for losing so much time?”

“roll up your sleeves.”

“remember who you are.”

“a little at a time.”

“it’s uncomfortable, but right.”

“we were born to try to see each other through.”

“to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we’ll ever do.”

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[shigarakis-cumdump]

An Unhealthy Obsession- Shigaraki x reader

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shigarakiscumdump/works

(If you like what you read, consider supporting me on Ao3!)

Summary: Short yandere fic based off the song “An Unhealthy Obsession,” by The Blake Robinson Synth. Orchestra. 

Cw: yandere and stalker tendencies

Word count: 1.9k 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*..✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*..✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*..✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Many people would call Shigarki the creepy type if they saw him on the street. Slouched over, face always buried in his phone with his hoodie covering the rest. He looked like your local creep who hung around popular stores and malls by himself. He would go to one mall in particular, even more so after he realized they had a Game Stop there. He would frequently go in to browse, and while he was checking out one day, he met you behind the counter.

“Will this be all?” you ask in your sweet customer service voice, with your head slightly tilted. Shigaraki froze in place. No one this pretty has ever talked to him before.

“Um, yeah, that’s all.” he says quickly, looking down to the ground while you're bagging his games.

“This one’s my favorite; I’ve been playing non-stop since it came out, have fun with it!” you say as you hand the bag back. And you play games? Could it get any more perfect?!

“Thanks,” he managed before walking out of the store and finding the closest bathroom. He locked the stall door and sat down. With his heartbeat in his cock, he couldn’t stop thinking of how innocent your voice sounded, and how pretty you looked. He decided from then on you were his next obsession.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shigaraki visited the store so often he learned your schedule. He would watch others make small talk with you, and it made him want to steal you for himself. His blood boiled when someone else would make you laugh. Soon enough, seeing you at your work wasn’t enough. He wanted to know more about you. So he followed you home one day. He kept his distance, being too scared of appearing creepy to people around him. You lived a few blocks away from him, who knew!This made it very easy for Shigaraki to stake out across the street and just watch you for hours. You always kept your windows open, maybe for the natural light? He appreciated it though; in his eyes, you left your blinds open for him. So he could watch as you dance around your room with your dog, and then relax and watch tv, hugging a pillow as you accidentally fall asleep. You were precious, and he realized all you wanted, all you needed, was someone like him to cuddle up into, to make sure you were safe. After all, there were too many creeps who could hurt you- he was just making sure they didn't get to you.

Shigaraki made it back to his place, but you never left his head. He went from sitting in the bushes, to sitting hunched over his desk, looking up your name on every search engine imaginable. “Bingo!” he says once he finds your socials. He scrolls down your page, seeing your stories about going to conventions earlier in the summer, spending time with your friends and- oh? What’s this? You were hugging a boy in this picture. Shigaraki zoomed in to get a good look at his face. “Why would you want a bastard like him?” he grunted angrily. He clicked on his profile and saw a post of you two eating at “your favorite restaurant” together for his birthday. The post was from the beginning of this year, so maybe you weren’t still with the guy. I mean Shigaraki didn’t see anyone while he was stalking you, which was a good sign.

Over time, his camera roll would fill up with screenshots of you off of your profile, shaky pictures he snapped of you while you were working, etc. He was in the store just when you worked now, because any other time he was following paces behind you to wherever your pretty feet were taking you. Stepping up to the counter with a few games, you began checking him out. His voice low and quiet as he asked, “Do you play games often?”

“Oh sure! Whenever I have free time, really. But lately I’ve been too busy. We should totally play together sometime!” you beam. Play together? He wanted to do a lot more than that .

“C-Cool, then I’ll see you through a screen next time,” Shigaraki scratches his neck awkwardly. You give him that practiced smile you show to all the customers. “Oh, what time do you get out?” he asks, and you give him a confused look. “S-so I know when to hop on! Just in case..” he drifts off, trying to keep cool. You tell him around 8, and he leaves. That’s perfect. Gives him just enough time to run some errands.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shigaraki went to the hardware store and got the smallest cameras he would find. He hurried over to your place, and prayed the key was still under the rug where you left it. And it was! He unlocked your door, and your small dog ran up to him, jumping on his leg. “You’re a friendly little guy, aren’t you?” he says, leaning down to pet the dog. Don’t get distracted ! He reminded himself. He began by setting a few cameras up in your room, one facing each corner. This gave him a perfect view of your bed, desk, and closet. While he was in there, he picked up a piece of thin red fabric off the ground. He inhaled deeply, to smell a sweet and salty scent. He shoved them into his pockets for later, and finished placing the cameras.

Back out in the living room, your dog was following him around. Shigaraki knelt down and gave him a pat. He read the dog's collar; apparently his name was Shiro. Cute. “You want something, Shiro? You need some food?” he asked, looking around for his dog dish. He found it and filled it up and then sat on the couch. He took your panties out of his pocket, giving them another whiff. The smell shot straight down to his groin, heating him up. He pulled his phone out and went to his album just for you and scrolled through the pictures. He loved you so dearly, and one day you would know just how much he cherished you. He played back the small interactions the two of you had, and all the memories you’d have together in the future. He palmed his hardening cock, head leaning back on the couch.

It was 6:30, he still had a few more hours before you were back. He revealed his dick from his sweatpants, his tip leaking pre. He put your red panties in his hand, and started to jerk himself off- the soft lace brushing against the underside of his dick. His breathing became hitched and sporadic at the thought of you underneath him making the same noises. No, he wasn’t experienced, but you would teach him everything he needed to know!

“Y/N… god you’re so tight..” he groaned. His hips thrusting up into you as you let out lewd noises for him. He grabbed your face and whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

“God please- fuck, I’m close, Shiggy!” you whined under him, twitching with your back arched and a tit in his mouth. The thoughts that filled his mind went directly to his cock. Shigaraki humped his hand, wishing it could be you, waiting for when it was you. Maybe you’d even fuck on this couch, who knows. He quickly finished and made sure to leave nothing behind before heading out and staking out behind the bushes again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You throw yourself on the couch as always, sitting where he sat just an hour ago. You made yourself some tea as you turned the tv on. It wasn’t too late, meaning Shigaraki could watch you for a bit.

A little later, you make yourself dinner. You take the trash out and leave it by the road. Shigaraki, being the weirdo he is, makes his way across the street, dangerously close to your front window, to snoop through your trash. There had to be something good in there. . He rummaged through your trash to find empty take out containers, some paper, and- chapstick? He wasn’t big on using it himself, but if it was yours, it was automatically going on his lips. He thought of it like an indirect kiss from his one and only. It had a taste of sweet strawberries, probably what you would taste like if he ever had the chance to kiss you. One day, he keeps telling himself. He pulls out his phone to check your room cameras and he sees you starting up your pc. Right! You asked to game with him earlier!  Shigaraki raced back home to load his game, praying he would find you in one of the local servers. There was FlameThrower2050 , TheRadicalDude , SuckItRight , and Shiro’sCloud online. You had to be the last one. He shot you a direct message, asking if you were up for a game, and you said yes. You actually said yes! Of course, you didn’t know it was him. You went into a private lobby and you turned on your headset. “Hey, can you hear me?” you asked innocently. Your pure voice went right through his heart. “Uh yeah, you sound great,” he blurts out. “Oh, Shigaraki?” you remembered his name?! This left him ecstatic. The game starts and you play a few rounds, Shigaraki being in heaven. You ended up beating him. In every. Single. Round. A bit embarrassing for him, but you laughed it off and didn’t make fun of him for it. Oddly, that stuck with him. You were so nice the whole time- he couldn’t wait to talk to you at work tomorrow!

It was getting late, which is why you had to go, which also meant Shigaraki got to watch you on the cameras. He pulled out his phone, switching to the view of your bed. You crawled in with just panties and an oversized shirt on, how cute. You scrolled on your phone for a little, until it dropped on your chest and you fell asleep. Your phone battery is gunna die, silly… Shigaraki thinks to himself. He could always go over and plug it in for you. No! That was too dangerous!! What if you wake up when he’s standing over you? Certainly that’s not a good impression to leave. He argues with himself for a bit before he’s out of the house, running down the street. His feet carry him all the way back to your place. He grabs the key and goes for the door. It was unlocked. You left it unlocked for him? How nice of you! He sneaks in and Shiro is quick to jump on him. Shiro took quite a liking to him. He tiptoed over to your room, looking at your sleeping body through the door crack. He opened the door slightly, going in and looming over you. He pried the phone from out of your hands and plugged it in for you. You would thank him later; tomorrow! When you’d see him next. Shigaraki zoned out, watching you sleep soundly for a good hour, stealing pictures of you while you were snoring, and getting a quick sniff of your hair. He had stayed there a lot longer than intended, the sun starting to rise. He snuck out of your room and locked the door on his way out.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, hey!” Shigaraki hears your pleasant voice call out to him from the counter. “Last night was a lot of fun; how about we play again tonight?” you ask him. He immediately says yes, his heart doing flips in his chest. This was the start of something good.

[literallymitch]

𝐆𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 || 𝐃.𝐃

requested: no

summary: the first part of the reputation series in which the reader first meets Damiano

pairing: Damiano David x famous!reader

word count: 2k

what kind of content: fluff

warnings: drinking

passages written in cursive are flashbacks

some of the lyrics were changed so they would fit the story

Please don’t steal any of my conten and release it elsewhere. Also all of this is fiction. I don’t know these people in real life nor do I know how they act

a/n I I hope you all enjoy this one, as much as I do. I’m so excited about this series jdhidcuheu. What song do you guys think is next? As always please keep in mind english is not my first language. I’m super happy about feedback!!

With a buzzing head I woke up. I shouldn’t have drank so much yesterday. Feeling the after effects of the alcohol I consumed yesterday, I looked at the sleeping figure next to me. A gorgeous man with brown hair and tattoos that fitted him perfectly. I smiled to myself, knowing he was the reason I probably drank a little too much yesterday. There was no way I would have found the courage to actually talk to him otherwise. He looked like an angel sleeping so peacefully in my queen-sized bed. As I looked at his sleeping figure, an idea popped into my head. I grabbed my notebook and went to my balcony that was connected to my bedroom. Looking at him one last time through the huge window in front of me. I opened my notebook and started writing down some lyrics in memory of last night.

You should take it as a compliment That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk You should think about the consequence Of your magnetic field being a little too strong

“We wanted to start working on our next album soon too.” , the gorgeous man in front of me said with an Italian accent.

After a few drinks I was finally talking to him. I was too busy taking in his beauty that I didn’t really listen  to what he just said to me. All of a sudden, I started giggling.

“You know, your accent is so funny, I love it. Like the way you pronounce some words? Hilarious”.

“Thanks, I guess?”

I cringed a little thinking about this specific moment. If he knew the only reason I was making a fool out of myself in front of him was his magnificent appearance, he would take it as a compliment. He probably already knew that was the reason. How could he not know? It’s not like he has never looked in a mirror. Also, there is no way, I am the first person that had to suffer from his magnetic self. By now he should know what his whole existence is doing to people.

And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us He's in the club doing, I don't know what You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much)

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be here as well?” the beautiful Italian boy asked.

“My wha- Oh you mean Andre? He isn’t my boyfriend. The media just made that up after we went out once, and I was caught at two of his games. We haven't talked in months. He’s probably at some club right now, annoying some poor girl.”

At that moment I thought I’ve seen a small smile appear on his face. He then just turned to the bar tender, ordering another beer. God, how could he just keep his cool like this the whole night. Usually it was the other way around. People would stand drunk in front of me trying to make a move, while I just stood there unimpressed. He really made me feel like an insecure fourteen-year-old girl again, and I hated him for that

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine You've ruined my life, by not being mine

“The sunset is really beautiful today” Damiano stated sipping on his glass of Whisky. I nodded in agreement while I ate a grape from the vine that was placed on the bar counter.

The bar were at was on top of a small mountain somewhere outside Rome. From there we had a great view over the whole city of Rome and how the sun met the city's skyline. It really was beautiful, still it was nothing compared to him. I wish he would’ve been mine, so I could’ve rested my head on his shoulder right there and then, but he wasn’t.

You should take it as a compliment That I'm talking to everyone here but you (but you, but you)

“I’m glad we’re finally getting a chance to talk after you talked to, well, everyone else at this bar except me.”, the handsome man called me out while he sat down next to me.”

Feeling a bit caught, I just gave him an awkward smile. I tried to come up  with a reasonable excuse, that was less embarrassing than ‘Yeah sorry about that, I was just too scared to talk to you because you look like you’re straight out of my dreams.’

“I’m really sorry about that! It was just that every time I was done talking to someone, the next person already stood behind me wanting to talk.” I lied.

“It’s alright. I guess that's what happens when you’re a world-famous singer.”

And you should think about the consequence Of you touching my hand in the darkened room

It was now 11pm and the sky outside was completely dark. The lights in the bar were also dimmed a bit, creating a cozy atmosphere. Damiano and I were in the middle of our conversation, as he accidentally grabbed my hand, that was resting on the bar counter, instead of his drink. It felt like an electric shock. An electric shock that woke up the butterflies inside my body. My hand started to tingle, and I’m pretty I was full on blushing now.

If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her But if you're single that's honestly worse 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

“So do you have a girlfriend?”,  at this point I was so drunk I didn’t even care how this question came across anymore.

I was pretty sure he in fact had a girlfriend, I mean how could he not looking like this?

“No I don’t.” Thank god. “It’s kinda hard building up a real relationship with someone when you're always busy, but I guess you can tell me a thing or two about it too.”

Oh, yes, I could. Still I would drop everything I was doing right now,  just to be with him.

Chocolate brown eyes looking in mine I feel like I might sink and drown and die

Just as my confidence made a small comeback, I made the mistake to directly look into Damianos beautiful brown eyes. There really wasn’t a single thing about him that wasn’t extremely beautiful. I started to feel a bit dizzy as a wave of heat rushed through my body. What is this man doing to me?

Just thinking about it again made my heart beat three times faster.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

For like the million time this evening, he made a laugh. Great, so he wasn’t just incredibly handsome, but also extremely funny. I didn’t realize how happy I was in his presence until I remembered he wasn’t mine. Suddenly I felt kind of sad, thinking about how I maybe would never see him again after tonight. I just wanted to grab his hand and run away with him. Somewhere I could be alone with him. Somewhere he would be only mine.

Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats Alone, unless you wanna come along

I looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall behind the bar tender. I was shocked when I realized it was already midnight. There was no way we’ve been talking for like three hours now. I scanned the room for my friends, I went here with in the first place.

“Looking for someone specific?” Damiano asked, now also looking in the direction I was looking in.

“Just my friends, but it seems like they already went home. I’ll check if they texted me” I picked up my phone, checking if I had a message from my friends.

‘Hi babe, we already went home, we were kinda tired. Have fun talking to handsome stranger. You better tell us everything tomorrow ;)’

“Did they text you?”

“Yes, my friend texted me that they already went home. Guess I’ll have to go home alone then. At least my cats are waiting for me.” I stood up and tried to make my way over to the wardrobe to get my coat. Unfortunately I forgot how drunk I actually and almost tripped as I tried to walk. Alcohol and heels really are not a good combo. Thankfully Damiano grabbed my arm helping me to stabilize myself.

“You’re sure, you’ll make it home alone?”

“Yes, I am a big girl. Unless you wanna come along.” I said with a cheeky grin on my face.

Damiano left out a soft chuckle. He paid for our drinks and then accompanied me on my way back home.

“It’s already pretty late, if you want to, you can stay over.” I told him after he brought me up to my bedroom.

“That would be nice, thanks.”

After I got myself ready for bed, I basically fell into my cozy bed, cuddling myself up in my soft sheet.

“You mind telling me where your guestroom is before falling asleep?” the Italian boy asked with an amused look on his face.

“Mmh, I don’t know. Just sleep here, it's fine.” I answered him, already half asleep.

After that, I probably fell asleep, since I don’t remember anything else that happened.

You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face (to your face) 'Cause look at your face

“Good morning.” I heard a raspy voice say.

I looked up from my notebook and came face to face with Damiano gorgeous figure. His hair was messy, and he still looked a bit sleepy. Since he just wore a pair of boxer shorts, I could finally see all the tattoos that covered his upper body. All of a sudden I felt the same way as I did last night when I saw him for the first time. The words were stuck in my throat and I felt the anxiety build up in my body. How does he manage to make me feel this way by just existing?

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” I somehow managed to say.

“Yes I did thank you. What are you doing?” he asked me curiously as he sat down on the garden chair next to me.

“I’m just writing a song. The idea came to mind when I woke up.”

“Not gonna lie, it’s pretty impressive that you’re able to write a song now after you could barely walk yesterday.” a small laugh left his mouth. “Can I see it?”

“No, it’s kinda awful. I’m to hungover to write something good now. I just wanted to write the idea down.” I lied,  I actually really liked the stuff I wrote so far, but he would probably think I’m a freak when he found out I wrote a song about after knowing him for a day.

“Can you at least tell me what it is about?”

“So you can steal my brilliant idea? No, thanks.” we both started laughing. “I can offer you breakfast though”

“I’m fine with that too” he said flashing me his beautiful smile

And I'm so furious At you for making me feel this way But what can I say? You're gorgeous

We were now sitting on my roof garden eating breakfast. Damiano told me some things about his life and what interests he had. As he did, so I looked at him in awe. I really started crushing on him as he continued to talked about his last tour with a huge smile on his face. I hated it that I was practically on my knees for him already, but how could I not? He’s perfect.

“I could really get used to this, you know?” he said out of nowhere.

“Me too.” I responded, not really questioning what he meant.

I also didn’t care as long as it involved us spending time together. I would make him mine no matter what.

[godlygreta]

chapter six | fuck buddies.

title | arabella

summary | halloween is fast approaching and the gang decides to throw a halloween party

warnings | alcohol usage, marijuana usage, other 18+ warnings

word count | 4k

author’s note | hello angels ! thank you for all that you do. i love each and every single one of you so much :) pls enjoy this while i finish up some of my other wip's for your reading pleasure ;)

song of the chapter | arabella, arctic monkeys

❝ and when she needs to shelter from reality / she takes a dip in my daydreams ❞

The normal rhythm between you and Jake had finally come back to a homeostasis. Since the two of you had talked in the studio, the boys had wrapped up most of the album recording. With the familiar white noise of October coming to an end, there was only one perfect way to end the month. A Halloween party.

You and Josh were avid Halloween fans, finding solace within the horror genre. You loved the classics almost as much as Josh did, if not more. The Michael Meyers series always piqued your interest, watching it any time the summer began to turn to autumn. One singular leaf could fall and you’d instantly pull out the collection. The t-shirts you had pulled out for summer would easily be replaced with sweaters, patterned and knit. “We’ll need lots of tequila, at least five bottles.”

“Josh, we don’t need five fucking bottles of tequila.” You spoke, sitting at the island in your apartment, compiling a list of everything you would need for the party.

“Yes, we do. You underestimate me, Y/N.” You rolled your eyes, pushing his chair with your foot. “Plus, we can acquire them over the next week. We’ve still got time before the party. Plus, chances are people will also bring their own bottles.”

“We should have themed drinks, like wine’s called fuckin’ Vampire’s Delight or some spooky shit like that.” You said, causing a snort to leave Josh. You looked over at him, offended as ever. “What?”

“That’s some childish shit,” half laughing, Josh pats your shoulder blade, “but if you want to, you’re in charge of making the signs for the drinks and shit.”

You stuck your tongue out at Josh, getting up from your chair. You looked in your fridge to see if there was anything you wanted to eat in there, but there never was. You always craved everything and anything that was not in your fridge; it was your biggest downfall as a human being. You turned towards Josh, then back towards your fridge. “Wanna go get Thai?”

“Is that a question? Absolutely.” You smiled, watching him reach for the keys to his Jeep. You followed closely behind him, hot on his trail. You giggle excitedly getting into the passenger's seat, waiting for Josh to start the car.

The Thai place you two were sitting in had been home to you for most of your junior and senior years of college. The entire staff pretty much knew you so well, when you came in everyone came and hugged you. The worker’s daughter was even there, she was pregnant the last time you had come in. The family it was owned by was still as cute as ever, still as loving as ever.

Josh admired your ability to make friends anywhere and everywhere. You two were always the most sociable, following the crowd and making friends. He simply watched as you interacted with them, smiling at the little boys who would come up to you and say hi. “You must’ve been here quite a bit.”

“You have no idea.” Your eyes widened, in an attempt to convey just how much you were there. He just chuckled, letting you gauge whether or not the two of you were going to dip into that conversation. “I’ve made many decisions in this restaurant.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I wanted to switch my major during my junior year. I wasn’t feeling the route I was going, I was honestly thinking of going to communications and finding a job in journalism. I wanted to write about a bunch of different things. I had so many opinions when I was younger. Now, I usually just hold them in.” You took a sip from your water, watching Josh’s conversational wheel turn in his head.

“What decision do you need to make today?”

“I’m not really sure.” It was a half truth. You knew the decision you had to make, but you didn’t necessarily want to make it. You didn’t want to decide. You wanted to leave it up to someone else to decide - for Jake to decide.

“You already know you like him, Y/N. Why not go for it? What could be so bad?”

“We break up and I can’t see any of you again.” Your response was fast, you didn’t even hesitate. This had been on your mind for days since you admitted that you liked him. “I love all of you so much. I couldn’t handle losing all of you on top of losing Jake.”

“You know that would never happen. You and Jake just make sense - you were always supposed to.”

“What do you mean by that?”

He inhales, gathering all of his thoughts in his mind before his mouth begins to move. “If Jake was actually going to be with anyone, it was gonna be you. We always thought you two would get together in high school, I never understood why you didn’t. You and Jake clicked so well. Your personalities complement each other, you balance each other out.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, I graduated high school, I can come to conclusions on my own.” You laughed, playing with the straw in your glass. “You and Jake would be good together. I know he’s a pain in the ass, especially when he’s dealing with his feelings.”

“So just tell him that I wanna be more than friends?” You asked, eyes looking for any tiny miniscule fraction of a doubt that you should. You almost wanted to see it, not having to tell Jake about your true feelings for him. Josh nodded, no sense of doubt in anything he did. You bit at the skin of your bottom lip, nervous. “When?”

“You’ll know when it’s the right time, Y/N. Believe me.”

☾ ☾ ☾

The kitchen counter was completely lined with booze. Various drinks were set up around the table, themed ones as well. Josh laughed at the names you had come up with, mostly because he thought they were ridiculous. Danny thought they were actually funny, quite cute. Mackenzi loved them too, praising you for being creative unlike Josh. His creativity spanned elsewhere.

The decorations around the house were simply divine. Cobwebs were actually realistic, as were the fake spiders that littered them. Some of them, of course, were made to look like they were fucking. You rolled your eyes when Josh pointed them out to you while decorating, chuckles leaving his lips. Realistic skeletons were conveniently placed around the house, sunglasses and boas on them, ready for photo ops whenever they were needed.

You didn’t know what you wanted to be before that morning. You had millions of ideas, but nothing that stuck out to you. Nothing that felt like you, til saw the fairy wings inside of Spirit Halloween. They were pretty, a light blue color, glitter and fake stars sprinkled everywhere. You grabbed some gold metallic paint and splatter painted them. Your makeup had light blue and gold accents everywhere. Mackenzi was the second to compliment your costume, Josh being the first.

“Babe!” Joy shouted, Sam and Jake trailing behind her. “You look so fucking hot and cute at the same time, how does that even work?”

“What are you talking about? Look at you!” Joy was dressed as Ghostface from Scream, but a sexy version. The two of you hugged each other, happy to see each other after how long it had been. Sam had been dressed as one of her victims, fake blood littering the clothes he was wearing. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too, pretty girl.” She gave you a quick peck on your cheek and left to grab alcohol. Jake stopped in front of you, giving you a quick look up and down just as you did to him. He was dressed as a vampire, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. You wrapped your arms around him, thanking him for coming.

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N.”

“I know, but I just want you to know I appreciate you being here.” You grabbed his hand and dragged him into the kitchen. “Let me make you a drink.”

You had already had a few, which he could tell almost right away. He knew you too well. He raised an eyebrow, almost second guessing you. The thoughts of you at the cabin popped into his head, how hungover you were before the bar. “Am I gonna end up like you when we were at the cabin that one night? Waking up at fuckin’ 3 in the afternoon?”

“That was one time, Jacob!” You laughed, mixing up a bunch of things you could find. You swirled the drink with your finger, feeling his eyes steady on you. Your eyes flickered back up to him from the drink you were making. A small discrete smirk landed on your lips. You removed your finger from the mix, taking it in your mouth. You watched his eyes slightly widen at your actions, mouth opening slightly. “I think this is the best drink I’ve made all night.”

“Yeah?” He asks, more curious about what you were thinking about when your lips were wrapped around your finger. You extended the drink out to him, letting him taste it for himself. He was slightly shocked at how good it tasted, it just tasted like a fruit juice, he wasn’t sure which one. He knew there was a fuck ton of other alochol in it, but it just tasted fruity. “That is pretty good.”

“See? I told you so.” You wink at him, making yourself a drink before disappearing into the crowd.

The living room had been transformed into a bit of a dance floor, copious amounts of bodies grinding on each other. You joined in, grinding against Joy before weaving your way towards whoever was playing music. You pushed him away, bending over the table to pick a few songs of your own, adding them to the queue.

As soon as your song started, you grabbed Joy and Mackenzi. Joy’s in front of you, body facing yours, hands interlaced with your own. Mackenzi’s behind you, your ass against her front. Her hands are loosely around your hips, moving with the movement of your hips. You make eye contact with Jake, who’s standing next to Sam and Danny, watching the three of you.

Your eyes never left Jake’s. It was almost as if you couldn’t - the two of you worked like magnets. Your soul attracted his, and his soul attracted yours. The alcohol coursing through your veins fed your brain with various thoughts. You wondered how Jake could react to you kissing Joy or Mackenzi, knowing how he reacted to you even joking about getting with Josh.

Sure, it was different because Josh was his brother. But Mackenzi had been one of their friends for years, even before Danny was introduced to her. And Joy was his brother’s girlfriend. You wondered about all the different roads his mind would go down.

Almost as if she could read your mind, Joy’s lips were planted on your own. Her lips were soft, the kiss was more sensual than you thought it would be. She tasted like Jack Daniels and weed. A smile rose to both of your faces, giggling as the two of you pulled away. “Where’s my kiss?! This isn’t fair!”

“C’mere!” You yell to her, the alcohol beginning to get to you. You put your hands on her cheeks and give her a kiss, a gentle one - different from the way Joy kissed you. The three of you laughed while the boys just stared at the three of you, sharing a look between themselves, then looking back at you. “I’m gonna go get another drink!”

“‘Scuse me.” You squeezed between Sam and Jake, brushing your ass past Jake’s front. You did so on purpose. You smirked slightly as you felt someone behind you, hoping with everything in you that it was him. “Need something?”

“Yeah,” he backed you up against the counter, his hands on the edge, right next to yours. You looked up and down his face, watching him swipe his tongue across his bottom lip before speaking again. “I need another drink, bartender, mine’s all gone.”

“Sure you’re not thirsty for something else?” You ask, making him catch his breath in his throat, slightly unaware of what you mean. He leans into you very slightly, feeling his breath on your skin. You licked your lips, biting your bottom lip. You joke, voice one fraction above a whisper. “You’re dressed as a vampire, sure you don’t want to drink some blood?”

“Oh, um, yeah.” He played it off, pretending he wasn’t thinking what he was. You knew what he was thinking about - or at least you hoped you knew. He backed up, letting you move away from where you were against the counter. You pushed yourself off, letting yourself make him another drink.

“Want anything specific?” You ask, putting a cup down in front of you.

“You.” His voice was low, barely above a whisper, hoping you wouldn’t hear him but you did. But you did. You walked over to him, his body propped up against the counter where all of the bottles of vodka were. You brush your body against his, chest flush against his as you reach for the Smirnoff behind him.

“Pardon my reach.” His eyes follow you the entire time. He never wanted to look away from you, and he didn’t. While you made him another drink, you felt him come up behind you. His hands went to your waist, one pushing all of your hair to the other side of your face. His lips brushed against the cartilage of your ear, making you inhale deeply.

“Would you like to dance with me?” He asked.

“What about your drink?” You asked, turning your head towards him.

“Fuck the drink.” He grabbed your hand and led you back to the living room.

Jake didn’t have a single fucking dance bone in his body. You knew that from high school, watching him attempt to dance to entertain a few of the girls he had liked. They wanted to dance, and he wanted to just stand there and look pretty. One of them actually got him to dance, to which you stopped and watched because he looked fucking ridiculous. But now, everything had changed.

The way he gripped your hips wasn’t the same way that he did in high school. He was more sure of himself now, gripping them with fervor. His hands guided your hips the way they did when you would ride him, pulling you against him in time with the music. Your fingers slid through the cracks of his, keeping his hands there - never wanting them to move. Your heartbeat pounded in your chest, you worried that Jake could hear it.

You could feel him grow harder and harder with each passing minute. You pulled away from him, turning around so you faced him. Your arms wrapped around his neck while his hands regained their rightful place on your hips. Your lips brushed against his, wanting nothing more than to taste him.

Fate, however, had other plans ending with you slipping on a scarf someone had dropped, hitting your head on the floor on the way down. Jake and Josh had tried shaking you awake, failing in their attempts to do so. Jake drove you home, stealing Sam’s car for the night, knowing damn well that they won’t be sober enough to drive it until tomorrow around five in the afternoon.

You were confused as to why you woke up in your bed, you looked around you for any context clues. You found nothing, not a single thing was out of place from where you left it yesterday aside from your costume being draped over your chair. You walked over to your full length mirror to look at yourself. You noticed your makeup was gone, and most of the jewelry you were wearing was placed on the vanity.

You walked out of your room, forced by the smell of freshly made coffee. You notice Jake in your kitchen, shirt on and in his underwear. You leaned against the wall, reveling in the sight before. You could never quite get used to the sight of seeing him in your kitchen, so domestic. “You doing okay, feelin’ alright?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. My head kinda hurts, what even happened last night? Did I blackout or something?” He chuckled, handing you a cup of coffee. He made it just the way you like.

“Not quite.” You made a curious face at him, waiting for him to continue. He took a quick drink from his cup, collecting himself. “You slipped on something someone left on the floor, hit your head and knocked yourself out. I drove you home and took you out of your costume. I didn’t think you’d mind me seeing you naked.”

“You are correct. I’m not sure how I’d feel with any of the other boys seeing me naked.”

“What about Joy and Mackenzi?”

“What about them?” You asked, walking over towards him. You sat down at the island, putting your cup down in front of you before crossing your arms.

“You kissed them last night.” He stood across from you, leaning forward on the island. You tried so hard to bite back a smile, almost failing in your attempt. You bursted out laughing to which he responded, “What?”

“Jake. Why are you jealous of Joy and Mackenzi?” You asked, the second half of your question hung in the back of your mind: when I’m not even your girlfriend?

“I’m not jealous,” he says, but the falter you found in the cracks of his voice made you think otherwise. “I might be a little jealous.”

The two of you laughed, comfortable silence settling between each other. You got up from your chair and walked over to him. You wrapped your arms around his middle, his arms instinctively wrapping around you. You stayed like that for what felt like hours, but was only a few minutes. He spoke into your hair, “I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Jake.”

“They told me you didn’t really leave your apartment.”

“I didn’t. And if I did, I didn’t see any of them. I kind of needed my space from everyone.” Your arms were still wrapped around him, but you were facing him now instead of hiding your face in his chest. “You really hurt my feelings, Jacob.”

“I’m sorry. I -” His phone rang, taking the two of you out of your conversation. You could tell he didn’t want to let go of you, reluctance dripping from his gaze. He picked it up, you tuned it out, trying your best to finish whatever was left of your coffee. “Danny and Sam, well mostly Sam, want to go to karaoke later tonight. They wanted to know if we’d like to join them for lunch before?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

“Yep. We’ll be there. Three?” He took his phone away from his face, seeing what time it was. You looked over to the clock above your stove. It was almost noon already. “Yeah we can be there at three. See you then.”

“We should get going if both of us want to have time to shower.” You nod, heading into your room to grab some things. You also grab some of Jake’s stuff he had left in your apartment last time.

“Here, you can use these. You left them last time you spent the night.” He took the pair of boxers and old t-shirt from your hands, fingertips brushing against the skin on the back of your hand. He smiled at you, thanking you with a slight nod. “Did you maybe want to shower together? To save water, obviously.”

“Right. No other reason.” He nodded, pretending to go along with your ruse, both of you saw through it. You smiled, grabbing the tips of his fingers with your own, leading him towards your bathroom.

Once the door had been shut, you began to strip off your clothing, until Jake stopped you. His hands replaced yours and helped you take off your shirt. He helped you step out of the pajama shorts he had put you in along with your panties. In exchange, you helped him. You lifted the t-shirt he was wearing over his head, the view of his body never getting old. Every time was like the first time all over again. He still took your breath away. You slid his boxers down his legs, turning on the hot water in your shower.

You let him step in first, taking most of the hot water. You step in behind him, watching the way the water fell down his face and body. Jake was so fucking beautiful. Everything he did absolutely took your breath away. Even now. All he’s doing is standing there, letting the water completely saturate his hair, head tilted back as he runs his hands through his hair. He looked so beautiful.

“Come here.” He grabbed your bicep, bringing you closer to him. You smiled, the sudden change in temperature causing goosebumps to rise all across your body. Part of it was the close proximity of the two of you, not having been this close to him - especially naked - since the cabin. “Want me to wash your hair?”

“As long as you’ll let me wash yours.” His smile is sincere, grabbing the shampoo and squirting it into the palm of his hand. He gestured for you to turn around, and you did so and almost moaned right away feeling his hands in your hair.

As soon as you had rinsed the shampoo out of your hair, you put shampoo in his. Your fingertips scratched his scalp, making sure to really clean the roots of his hair. You watched the way his eyes closed, drinking in the feeling. You pressed a light kiss to his forehead, tipping his head back as you helped rinse out his shampoo. You conditioned his ends and yours and lathered both of your bodies up with soap.

You stayed in the shower an extra twenty minutes after you had finished everything you needed to. Your arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close to you. You wanted to hold him there forever and never let him go. “We shouldn’t have stopped this.”

“This what?”

“This - us,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead, fingertips running up and down your back. “It was hard to be without you.”

“It was hard for me too. Josh dropped takeout by my door every couple of days cause he didn’t know if I was eating or not.” You admitted to him, which wasn’t a total lie. You weren’t really eating, but if you hadn’t had Josh there for you, you really wouldn’t have eaten at all. “We should get out, I’m getting all wrinkly.”

You handed him a towel after you got out, you wrapped it around you to combat the cold you were feeling. He got dressed next to you, stealing your brush to brush through his hair. You laughed at him, never seeing him brush his hair before. He watched you as you applied a little makeup - enough to make you look a little less dead.

The car ride over was fun, switching between talking about the party last night to the events that would follow lunch. You hadn’t done karaoke with the boys since you guys were in middle school, watching Josh truly sing for the first time. It blew you away how good both him and Josh were. It didn’t surprise you though - they were twins after all. “You ready to hear Sam and Danny butcher your favorite songs later?”

“Beyond ready.” You smiled over at Jake, walking into the diner they had settled on for lunch.

—

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