imabee-oralizard

[imabee-oralizard]

"I, uh... posted a pic of you. On my MySpace." Rodrick mumbled, like maybe you wouldn't hear it if he said it quiet enough. He sat in front of his computer on his beat-up desk chair, the glow illuminating his face. You gave him a little grin, crossing the room to stand over his shoulder.

"Lemme see." You demanded, resting your hand affectionately on the top of his head. He looked up at you with a little smile and those eyes ringed with eyeliner, before returning his eyes to the screen to click around a few times.

Your eyes widened in interest when he pulled up the post. It was extremely plain, he "didn't have time" for his blog, though you knew he was kinda terrified what people thought of it, and just didn't want anyone to think he was trying. You knew he definitely was, though, you'd seen the focused way his teeth tugged at his bottom lip when his fingers flew across the keyboard.

It was just a picture of you, one you recognized being from last weekend when you'd been getting ready to go out at his house. You were set up in the bathroom, makeup cluttering every inch of the smooth white countertop and the back of the toilet, too. Hair pulled back so it was out of your way, face intently focused as you put your lashes on. It was a cute pic, even if you weren't all the way ready, you let it slide. You could even see a little sliver of Rodrick in the pic, reflected in the mirror when he'd leaned against the doorframe to take it. You remember turning around and waving him off with a laugh, but he sat with you in the bathroom while you finished your makeup, watching you from the edge of the tub with admiring eyes.

Your eyes caught on the title of the post, which just read "glitter glue drinker" and that made you laugh loudly. A couple of his friends comments only made it worse, one of them reading: "she lookz like it." Rodrick's face was lit up with glee as he watched you laugh, effectively giving your stamp of approval, and he was visibly relieved.

"That's cute." You offered him, leaning down over his shoulder to kiss his cheek, though he kept you there long enough to snag a longer kiss on the lips, and he tasted like a tootsie roll.

[imabee-oralizard]

cigarettes & sex — theodore nott.

summary : theo can't stop his addiction even while having sex.

wc : 336

authors note : first time posting and first time writing something like this LMFAO

"fuck, cazzo. takin' me so fucking well." theo practically gritted out, a smack being heard as one of his hands slapped your ass. you cried out from under him, face pushed into the pillow as tears welled into your eyes. his other hand held onto his blunt, placing it against his lips as he took a breath, removing the blunt from his lips, he breathed out, the smoke going into the room.

"here, amor." the hand that he had placed onto your ass moved upwards to grip your hair, tightening his grip as he pulled on your hair, making you whine as you got pulled up so your back pressed against his chest. he placed the blunt against your lips, Indicating for you to also take a smoke.

your head fell back onto his shoulder, theo looking down at you as he saw the tears in your eyes. he lowered his head to press a kiss onto your tears, kissing them away, whilst you took a smoke from his blunt. you whimpered, clenching around him as you blushed.

"so tight, love my cock, hm?" he watched as you nodded frantically, "mmh! yes, yes.. fuck.." you whined once again, theo smirked, pressing a final kiss on your forehead as he removed his grip onto your hair, letting you fall back down onto the bed as he continued moving his hips rhythmically against yours.

"'M gonna come.." he heard your babble against the pillow, saying nothing, he took in a final smoke from his blunt, placing it in an ashtray beside you two on the bed. his hand went against your ass once again, drawing out a loud moan from you as his hand gripped onto your ass tightly.

"my baby's gonna come around my cock?" he whispered lowly, watching you as you nodded once again. "s—so big.. you're so big.." that was the final stretch, his body fell on top of yours, wrapping around your waist as his hot cum spurted inside of you, coating your insides.

[imabee-oralizard]

[imabee-oralizard]

I really love the r/volcanoes subreddit because most of the posts are just people going "what if a Volcano exploded right now?" "What if twenty fucking Volcanoes exploded near you right now?"

[imabee-oralizard]

[imabee-oralizard]

｡꩜°‧⭑.ᐟ flashing theo while he's on a work call

masterlist

warnings italian!theo hehe, modern au, nsfw 18+ (degradation, praise, cursing, the whole shebang), established relationship, pure filth!

a/n can we just always assume that theo is italian whenever i write for him plz and thanks...could not get this thought out of my head for a fat minute...also testing a layout for blurbs what do we think hehehe

it was a friday evening. theo was working from home, and you had the day off. he was sitting on the sofa outside, on a zoom call, while you were in your shared bedroom doing anything to keep yourself busy while waiting for your boyfriend to finish his boring work call.

you were laying on the bed, scrolling through your tiktok feed. cooking video, makeup review, cute cat video, cooking video...boring...kitchen hacks...flashing prank on boyfriend?

your interest was piqued. it was as if a lightbulb had lit up next to your head.

a sly smile spread across your face as you threw open the doors to your closet. rifling through your drawers, you finally found what you were looking for.

a set of black underwear. a lacy black bra, and a lacy black thong, which put enough on display that there was just enough left for imagination. chuckling to yourself, still very amused with what you were about to do, you changed out from theo's t-shirt and shorts into your new underwear.

your cat purrs from her spot on the bed, eyes narrowing at you with a somewhat judgemental gaze.

"oh c'mon, honey. mama's gotta have her fun." you coo, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. she purrs in response.

you pull theo's t-shirt over yourself again, before heading towards the bedroom door.

you slowly twist the handle and open the door. theo's sitting on the sofa, legs spread, laptop somehow resting on one thigh. he nods at whatever his colleague is saying, eyes flickering to your frame for barely a second.

he does a double take when he sees you standing in the middle of the living room with his t-shirt and black lacy underwear. he raises an eyebrow in skepticism, but says nothing.

but you saved the best for last!

you pull the hem of theo's shirt up, biting it to hold it in place as you move your bra, giving him the perfect view of your boobs. well, one of them.

theo's jaw clenches for a second, then he smirks. he unmutes himself on the call, and quickly says, "sorry guys, my dog just threw up i gotta go deal with this. talk on monday."

what dog??

he shuts the laptop and tosses it onto the sofa, standing up and walking towards you.

he pinches your nipple playfully, teasing, "aw, poor little slut. couldn't even wait just half an hour longer, could you?"

before you can open your mouth, theo throws you over his shoulder, carrying you back to your bedroom. he throws you onto the bed, before pulling down the waistband of his sweatpants just enough to let his cock spring free.

his tip leaks pre-cum, glistening. you kneel on the bed in front of him as his fingers find their way to your hair, guiding your head towards his cock. you ghost a breath over his skin, and the way his cock twitches at the sensation causes your heart to skip a beat. your hand goes to grab him at the base, tongue darting out to lick a stripe all the way up to his tip. you start sucking on the tip, and the way theo throws his head back in pleasure sends a rush of heat straight to your soaked cunt.

you take him deeper, deeper, deeper, until your face is pressed into the soft skin above his cock. you struggle to catch your breath. theo's huge.

"good girl, you're doing so well f'me." he hums, tracing along your jaw before going to cup your tits.

you pick up the pace, bobbing along his thick cock. you feel theo start to tense, and you know he's close. you go faster, deeper. his grip on your hair tightens and his hips buck as hot ropes of cum shoot down your throat.

and you swallow every bit of it once he pulls out, grinning up at him in satisfaction.

he pushes you back further on the bed, before taking your panties off. he runs a finger along your folds, chuckling, "already so wet f'me, huh? such a good little slut."

you grab a fistful of theo's hair, guiding him between your thighs, almost whimpering, "need you so bad, theo."

he chuckles against your dripping cunt, sending a shiver up your spine. he darts his tongue up, licking a stripe up your folds. he wraps his lips around your clit and gives it a sharp suck, sending your back arching right off the bed.

he continues swirling his tongue around your sensitive bud, left hand holding down your right thigh, right hand holding yours, fingers intertwined.

"you're so fuckin' beautiful, piccola." he groans, the vibrations causing your grip on his hair to tighten as you moan in pleasure. he lets out a slight yelp.

you're too lost in the pleasure to apologise.

theodore nott ate pussy like a man starved.

like he hadn't had a sip of water in weeks, and your pussy was a source of fresh, crisp water.

he lapped at you as if it was his only purpose in life, as if it was his only hope for survival.

and you weren't complaining.

[imabee-oralizard]

"And I'm trying my best to stand up for you in every way I can." 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[imabee-oralizard]

sometimes i see a plushie i own out in the wild and im like “whoa. blorbo from my bed”

[imabee-oralizard]

Damian getting pissed off at Bruce shortly after coming to the manor and in a fit of childish anger yells ‘you can’t tell me what to do, YOU AREN’T MY FATHER!’

what he meant was in an emotional sense, because he didn’t know the man for the first decade of his life, but paranoid-Bruce-Wayne immediately starts to wonder if Talia’s fucking with him in some way. Damian, still pissed off and wanting to make Bruce suffer in any way he can, takes all the information he has at his disposal regarding his mother and father and decides in a brilliant moment of childish stupidity to do this:

Damian: no, you are not my father. but being as my biological father trained under you, mother decided you would still be the best option to guide me.

Bruce, eyeing Dick: i TRAINED your father?

Dick, incredulously: I DIDN’T-!?!

Damian: No. Jason Todd however, after he was revived via Lazarus Pit, did.

Bruce:

Dick:

Tim, quietly from the sidelines, popcorn in hand: holy shit…

~later~

Damian, climbing through the window of Jason’s safe house: Ahki! three things. one, i told father, Grayson, and Drake that you are alive-

Jason, sat with a mouthful of pasta: wh-

Damian: -two, i told them your identity as the Red Hood, and three, i told them you are my biological father.

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: why would you-

Damian: i was mad and impulsive.

Jason:

Jason, taking a deep breath: well that tracks if we’re pretending you’re my kid.

Damian: i knew i could count on you.

Jason: to freak those idiots out? always.

[imabee-oralizard]

[imabee-oralizard]

poly!slytherin boys x gn!reader; animagus!slytherin boys; ignoring the canon that once turning back from an animagus form that the person is naked because i want to :)

an: i know it's newer territory for this fandom (at least from what i've seen) so i hope you all love it

this is another addition to the yap sessions with my hubby @musingsofahufflepuff <33

“Merlin’s beard!” you swerved your hips to the side, nearly missing being taken out by a large German Shepherd. You made your way over to the sofa to cuddle up next to Enzo. He happily wrapped an arm around your shoulder and tucked you into his side. You watched as the German Shepherd chased a large grey and fluffy cat around the living room. “How long have they been at this?” You sunk further into the sofa, and thus further into Enzo’s chest as he let out a low laugh, “About twenty five minutes; not even sure what Nott did to make Matty chase him like this, but it’s been entertaining for sure.” 

Theo was always quick witted, and that skill definitely relayed to his animagus form as he quickly dodged Mattheo’s quick snap for his tail, zipping past in a blip of grey fur. “Matty’s getting a little quicker,” you smiled, Enzo nodded in agreement, “but don’t tell him I said that.” Enzo lifted both hands in surrender, “Oh I would never, darling.” 

As if Theo heard exactly what the two of you were saying, he took a different approach to avoiding Mattheo’s grasps. Theo took advantage of his smaller form, jumping from the floor to a chaise and finally up on a floating bookshelf. Poor Matty had too much momentum, not able to stop himself once he was in full motion and thus slamming head first into the wall beneath the shelf. You and Enzo winced in pain for him as Matty’s paws covered his snout while he whined. 

In the next moment Matty was no longer a German Shepherd but fully fledged himself, rolling from his back to his side and groaning, “Fucking hell, Theo. You’re such a fucking asshole.” You pushed up from the couch then, cooing out as you approached the scene, “Oh, my poor sweet boy.” Matty’s lower lip jutted as he sat up and leaned against the wall. You stretched out your arms and Matty mirrored you before his mouth fell open. You bypassed Mattheo completely, reaching up instead to grab Theo from the shelf. 

You wrapped your arms around Theo as he nuzzled further in to your hold, purring softly. Matty looked over toward Enzo, pout growing deeper, “Are you seeing this, babe?” Enzo put on a mock pout, opening his arms for Mattheo. The curly haired boy took the bait, pushing up from the floor and plopping down on the couch to let his boyfriend soothe his mental wounds. “They’re so mean to me, Enzie,” Mattheo mumbled into his chest. Enzo ran his hands through Mattheo’s curls, “I know, baby. So mean.” 

You scoffed, “You two are the most dramatic men I’ve ever met.” You sat down on the arm of the sofa, still holding Theo. Mattheo sat up at the accusation, “How dare you say that when you’re holding him.” He pointed at Theo lounging comfortably in your arms. Theo lazily turned his head towards Mattheo, meowing loudly. Mattheo threw a finger in the air, sticking out his tongue. Theo hissed back at Mattheo before you stood up, mumbling something about going in to the bedroom for a cuddle.

[imabee-oralizard]

You just love being in the middle of a sentence then being interrupted by someone else talking then never getting to finish what you were saying cause the conversation moves forward or ends

Atleast if that happens with one of my brothers he’ll circle back right after to let me finish most the time

[imabee-oralizard]

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

[imabee-oralizard]

the plot point of ‘Talia and Jason forget to tell Damian to keep his mouth shut about stuff before he goes to Gotham and then Damian absolutely fucks shit up accidentally’ is so golden to me. Damian’s out here collecting stories from his Ahki like a sponge and then absolutely RUINING the man’s tight nit confidentiality. amonth after Damian doesn’t realise the family thought Jason was dead and outs his status as alive, they’re all in the cave while Bruce talks about his ‘no metas’ rule, and Damian who is hearing this for the first time looks up from the batcomputer with the most confused look on his face.

Damian: what about Todd?

Bruce: what about Jason?

Jason, over Bruce’s shoulder: *violently gesturing for Damian to shut the fuck up*

Tim: him coming back to life doesn’t count as being a meta, it doesn’t affect his abilities.

Damian, visibly second guessing himself while eyeing Jason’s face of promised murder: I was referring to the magic swords but… i sense i should not have…

Bruce:

Tim:

Jason:

Dick:

Bruce: his what now?

Jason, to Damian: see this is why Talia SENT YOU AWAY.

Damian: you people really need to start telling me the things you want kept a secret from the rest of the family.

[imabee-oralizard]

When a car accelerates fast and smooth I feel it in my vagina

[imabee-oralizard]

Forced proximity trope but it’s Taylor swift music x My family that don’t like Taylor swift music

[imabee-oralizard]

alancummingreally I wore this suit to the Met gala centuries ago in protest at being told to shut up and keep out of politics during the Iraq war, but I think today its message is even more prescient and vital.

The quote is by the great Audre Lord and the suit was designed by Stephen Cirona.