#but there's like 5 people consistently commenting. and some people that seem really excited about it.

[doctorweebmd]

sometimes i think i'll never feel the cathartic, powerful, beautiful feeling of writing zero-sum game again, but then i write the path to paradise and i can feel my heart blooming.

its like falling in love all over again.

[stylesispunk]

THE GREAT WAR | LAST CHAPTER |

"I vowed I would always be yours, cause we survived the Great War

I would always be yours, cause we survived the Great War"

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 | masterlist

series summary: "After things fell apart it seemed that Joel and you were falling into pieces. Is it the end of all the endings? How long will it take to mend a broken heart"

word count: 4,2k>

warnings: angst, fluff too much fluff, established relationship, age gap (Reader is in her late 20s, Joel is in his late 40s), child loss, anger, some tension.

A/N: This is it. The last chapter is here, and I honestly didn't like how this chapter turned out, but I really wanted to give this ending. I really was so excited about writing this story and I had some kind of fun doing it. Thanks to all who read it and those who always commented, liked, etc. I hope you like it, and I see you soon (in a few days) with a different fic.

The days had settled into a comfortable rhythm, as if the cosmos had felt the need for some peace and quiet after the storm. Rhia's mornings began with the glorious light coming through the window casting an inviting glow across the room. As she stretched and prepared for the day ahead, her thoughts frequently went to the changes that had occurred in her life.

During this week, Joel's presence in her life had become more consistent. They weren't back together yet, but they were working on trust. The scars from earlier events in their lives remained, but they were gradually healing.

Later that morning, Rhia found herself in Jackson's bar, helping Maria and Tommy with party preparations for an upcoming celebration in Jackson. The community was getting together to celebrate a new year since it was founded, and the atmosphere was electric. 

Rhia, Maria, and Tommy worked together to decorate the space and arrange food. The atmosphere was welcoming, their talk lightened the task, and Rhia found herself opening up about all kinds of things again.

“Joel said things are improving between you and him,” Tommy said as he winked one of his eyes.

That comment caught Rhia off guard. Her cheeks flushed as she chuckled. “He’s right, things are better” she admitted.

Tommy grinned mischievously, giving her a knowing look. " You know, I haven’t seen my brother this happy since…” 

"Since before the world ended," Rhia finished for him, her smile both wistful and understanding. 

Tommy nodded, his expression softening. "Yeah, but the world began for him again the day he met you."

Rhia's cheeks turned even rosier at Tommy's words. His sincerity touched her soul, and she found herself at a loss of words.

He smiled warmly. “We’re all grateful to have you back in our lives.” She said “And our baby too.” 

Maria nodded as she chuckled. A smile graced Rhia’s lips, and she found herself at a loss for a moment.

“I shouldn’t have said that, sorry”, Tommy apologized. 

He was met with a gentle smile from Rhia. She appreciated his understanding. “It’s okay, Tommy. I’ve come to terms with it, it’s part of our story now.”

Maria chimed in; her voice filled with warmth. “And we’re here to support you both.”

As they went about their business, they felt a sense of camaraderie and purpose. The decorations were hung, the food was served, and the bar was converted into a lively and pleasant environment.

As the night enveloped Jackson, the party buzzed with energy. People were laughing, dancing, and sharing. Rhia found herself leaning against a wall, her eyes scanning the room. She felt a gentle tap on her and turned to find Joel beside her. 

"Having a good time?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.

Rhia nodded with a smile on her lips. "I am, indeed. Thank you so much, Joel."

Joel's smile widened, and his eyes were filled with love for Rhia. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Do you remember," Joel began contemplatively, "when we were at the QZ, in that filthy old apartment?”

 Rhia smiled, “And you and Tess were smugglers?" Her eyes twinkled with delight at the memory. 

Joel nodded, a wistful grin on his lips. "We had to survive somehow," he said after a brief glance at her. "I think I liked you back then," he blurted.  

Rhia's heart skipped a beat as he admitted it, and the rest of the world appeared to melt away as her attention was drawn to Joel.

"I liked you, too, Joel," she said softly. "You and Tess, both"

He chuckled as their gazes locked. "I liked you in a different way."

"You had a crush on me?" she asked, laughing.

Joel's face relaxed. "I suppose I did."

Rhia's face softened, and her heart warmed as he confessed his past feelings.

As a slow song began to play, Joel extended his hand toward Rhia, his eyes holding a mix of vulnerability and hope. "Would you like to dance?" he asked, his voice soft.

Rhia's heart skipped a beat at his invitation. She looked up at him, a warm smile gracing her lips. "I'd love to," she replied. “But what about your leg? Is it better? 

Joel’s smile was tender, his fingers tenderly fixing their hold on her hand. “My leg’s doing better, thanks to you,” he said, his voice filled with gratitude. “And I wouldn’t miss a chance to dance with you” 

Taking his hand, she allowed herself to be led by Joel to the dance floor. They moved together, their bodies swaying to the soft melody of the music playing. At that moment, everything around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in their own world. 

Rhia's head rested against Joel's chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart beneath her ear.

"The first time I kissed you, we were in that old rusty apartment", Joel mused, his voice a low murmur.

Rhia nodded; a soft laugh escaped her lips. "Oh, you mean that time you stole a kiss and then acted like it was no big deal?"

A ghost of a smile curved Joel's lips. "Yeah. It was a big deal.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Joel asked once he entered the room and saw Rhia sitting on the floor, lost in her thoughts. 

“Why would you care, Joel?” She answered, her voice tinged with frustration.

Joel approached her slowly, his footsteps echoing in the small, dimly lit room. He knelt beside her.

“Rhia,” he said softly, “Come on, show me those pretty eyes of yours.” 

Rhia chuckled at his request and looked up to face Joel, but the air felt different this time. When Rhia's eyes met Joel's, she felt her air stolen from her lungs. Their faces were so close, and the air between them was charged with unspoken words. His hand gently cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing her cheeks as if she was the most delicate flower in the garden.

Rhia's heart pounded in her chest as she felt the warmth of Joel's breath against her lips. In that fragile moment, the cruel dark world outside ceased to exist, to become lighter, and Joel leaned in, capturing Rhia's lips in a soft, stolen kiss. It was a gentle, lingering connection, a moment of vulnerability for him and her. 

When they pulled away, their breaths were caught in their throats, and their eyes widened at the realization they had crossed the line of friendship.

That kiss changed their relationship forever. 

Back in the present, they continued dancing, their movements a silent conversation that spoke volumes. The memory of that stolen kiss seemed to bridge the gap between their past and their current life. 

Joel's hold on her tightened ever so slightly, his eyes never leaving hers. "Should I steal a kiss again?”

A playful glint danced in Rhia's eyes as she looked up at him without saying a word. 

Joel's lips curved into a mischievous smile. Without another word, he leaned in, but before they could reach other lips, an angry scream broke their little bubble. 

Ellie and Dinna were cornered and on display by one of the men at the party and everyone was watching.

Joel's grip on Rhia loosened as they both focused their attention on the commotion. Joel’s brow furrowed, evidently displeased with the interruption. Rhia's protective instincts flared as she locked her gaze on the man who cornered Ellie and Dinna, her voice firm when she addressed him.

"What's going on?" Rhia's tone was angry and authoritative. She gave Ellie and Dina a quick glance, her expression demanding an answer.

The man was surprised by Rhia's demeanor and cleared his throat, his demeanor turning to one of shame. "I… I saw these two young ladies kissing," he murmured, lowering his sight to the ground.

Rhia's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the unexpected revelation. The anger that had initially fueled her reaction was now replaced by surprise. She exchanged a puzzled look with Joel before returning her gaze to Ellie and Dina. Their faces were flushed with humiliation, and Ellie's big eyes were closed as if closing them would spare her from this embarrassment.

"And you had to announce it to everyone like that?" Joel inquired, clearly enraged with the man.

Ellie was clearly embarrassed to be in the spotlight like this, so she fled from the bar before the heated discussion could continue.

Rhia and Joel exchanged a concerned look before silently agreeing to follow Ellie. They crept out of the pub, their steps soft as they pursued her. As they walked towards their house, the night air felt cool against their skin.

They found Ellie sitting on her bed, her back hunched and her head buried in her hands. Rhia's heart broke for her as she felt the tightness in her shoulders. Rhia and Joel approached gently, taking seats on each side of Ellie, giving her room while also letting her know they were there for her.

After a few moments of silence, Ellie's voice burst through, unsteady and frustrated. "I can't believe he just... made it sound like there was something to be ashamed of." She raised her head, her eyes red and wet as she met Rhia's and then Joel's gaze.

Joel put his hand on Ellie's back, his voice gentle but firm, and said, "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Ellie." Rhia nodded. "Joel's right, Ellie," Rhia said. "There's nothing wrong about who you are and who you love. And you have both of us to back you up." She gave Ellie a tiny, genuine smile, and appreciated the trust they shared. "In this day and age," she said, glancing over Ellie's shoulder at Joel, "if you really care about someone, you don't want to miss a beat."

Ellie expressed her gratitude. "Thanks, guys. I appreciate it." Then she turned to Joel with a smirk. "Now, old man, mind if I borrow Rhia for a bit?"

Joel chuckled warmly. "She's all yours. I'll give you some privacy."

With a reassuring pat on Ellie's shoulder, Joel left the room, allowing Ellie and Rhia to have their moment alone.

Once they were alone, Ellie let out a sigh, her shoulders slumping with relief. "Thanks for being here, Rhia. You and Joel are my family.”

With that, they sat together talking about feelings. They shared their fears, hopes, and dreams, forging a stronger bond of trust and understanding between them.

“Is she sleeping already”? Joel asked once Rhia entered the bedroom.

“Knocked out” she replied with a smile. 

Joel's expression softened at her offer, gratitude and warmth were evident in his eyes. He took a step closer to her, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair from her face. “Good, so I think I should go now.” 

"Joel, you don't have to go," Rhia said softly, 

He sighed, his eyes searching hers for something she couldn't quite decipher. "Damn, I want to stay here, angel. But I also don't want to complicate-"

Before giving Joel a chance to finish his sentence, she closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his in a soft, lingering kiss. Her actions were a silent plea, a way of telling him that they could move forward.  

Joel melted into the kiss, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer. 

When they pulled back, Joel’s gaze held Rhia’s, he let out a small chuckle. “So, are you sure she is sleeping?

“Oh no, no with her in the house” Her voice held a hint of amusement, knowing Joel’s intentions. 

Joel chuckled softly, his fingers gently tracing along her cheek. "I want to love you," he murmured, his lips brushing against hers.

Rhia's heart fluttered at his words, and she found herself leaning into his touch. Her fingers lightly rested against his chest as she met his gaze. "Is that a yes?"

Joel pulled back and his expression softened and nodded. 

Rhia’s eyes sparkled with humor and she leaned to press her lips on his again. This time, he wrapped his arms around her waist, and they slowly made their way to bed. Their kiss depended, carrying with it a thousand promises of love. Meanwhile, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only their shared warmth hanging in the air. 

A FEW MONTHS LATER

Rhia and Joel were finally back together. They were thick as thieves, and their trust blossomed again. It all started with small steps. Joel showered her with the love she deserved, words of comfort, a bouquet of flowers every day of the week when he returned from patrol and a thousand more small gestures that conveyed all the unspoken words he wanted to say. 

Rhia gave him a new chance because she thought he deserved it.

"I got you a present," he announced as he entered the house. 

"A present?" Rhia inquired.

"Turn around and close your eyes," he said quietly.

Rhia did as Joel instructed, and he went forward to place a small necklace around her neck. Rhia opened her eyes to see what it was.

It was a flower,

A daisy.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she saw the little flower hanging from her neck.

Rhia returned her gaze to Joel, her eyes glistening with emotion. 

She touched the daisy pendant gently, a small, overwhelmed smile on her lips. "Joel, it's beautiful," she whispered, her voice filled with gratitude.

Joel's smile widened, and he stepped closer to her, his hand caressing her cheek. "Our baby will be there with you," he said softly, as he touched her chest over the necklace.

She nodded, her heart swelling with love for this man and who he had proven himself to be worthy of a second chance. "I know," she replied, her voice quivering with emotion.

One morning, Rhia woke up with an uneasy feeling. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something felt different in her. Nevertheless, she went about her usual routine, trying to shake off the odd feeling, but it persisted throughout the morning. 

Maria noticed something was bothering Rhia as she helped her in the bar. She was observant of her friend’s changes, the occasional dizziness, and the constant sigh that escaped Rhia’s lips.

Maria finally stopped doing her task and turned to Rhia with a concerned expression. "Rhia, is something bothering you?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

Rhia looked up, a small smile attempting to mask her worries. "Nothing’s wrong.”

“Did Joel do something?” she asked again, but all she got was a low “no” from Rhia.

Maria raised an eyebrow, not convinced by Rhia’s response. “There must be something wrong because you’re acting all weird.”

Rhia hesitated for a moment, her gaze flickering away from Maria’s.

“I’ve been feeling the same things I felt when…”

Maria's comforting hand was on Rhia's shoulder. "When…?”

Rhia took a deep breath, her eyes searching Maria’s face for some kind of desperate help. “When…- I think I’m pregnant.”

Maria's eyes widened in surprise, and then a warm smile spread across her face. "Oh, Rhia. That's wonderful news!"

“No, it’s not.” Rhia protested, her tone brittle, “No after what happened to my baby before. And in this world, it’s just stupid to even think about it” Tears welled up in Rhia's eyes, and she looked at Maria with sadness in her eyes. "I just... I don't want to go through that pain again," she whispered, her voice breaking. “I don’t want to lose myself or Joel all over again.”

Maria’s expression softened at her friend’s concern, "Look, we have to be sure first". Maria said softly. “Then, you can think about it or tell Joel.”

Rhia nodded and leaned on Maria's shoulder, feeling a glimmer of hope amidst the uncertainty this possible pregnancy meant for her and Joel, but with Maria’s support, the weight on Rhia’s shoulders felt lighter.

A few days later, after an old test confirmed the truth, Rhia found herself standing in front of her and Joel’s bedroom door. Her heart raced with fear. She took a deep breath and entered the room where Joel was already in bed.

The soft glow of the lamp illuminating the room created a sense of tranquility. 

Joel's gaze snapped at Rhia and a soft expression took over his face. "Hey," he greeted, his voice warm and inviting. "Where have you been?

Rhia smiled back, though her uneasiness was still visible in her eyes. She shut the door behind her and moved closer to the bed. "I wanted to talk to you about something," she continued, her voice filled with trepidation.

Rhia sat down, her fingers slightly fidgeting in her lap. She inhaled deeply, summoning her courage. "Joel, do you know how we've been working through everything that's happened between us and trying to move forward?"

He softened his expression as he reached out to hold her hand in his. "Yeah."

Her gaze was fixed on him. "Well, during this time, something... happened"

Joel's uneasiness grew as he retained her gaze. "Rhia, you're beginning to concern me-

"I'm pregnant." She confessed, letting out a long sigh.

"Angel, are you sure?" he asked, his voice a little softer this time.

Rhia nodded; her gaze fixed on his. Joel's forehead wrinkled as he attempted to assimilate the news.

"An old test and the same symptoms I had before." His grip on her hand tightened a little more, his gaze falling to their linked fingers. "Rhia," he said, his voice tinged with sorrow. "I... I'm going to need a moment to process this."

Rhia's heart sank at his response, a knot of worry forming in her stomach. That’s it, she thought, all the progress we have made thrown away. 

 Her thoughts were racing, but she merely nodded at him. "Of course, Joel. Take your time”

Joel eventually turned to her after what it felt like an eternity, his expression a mix of all the emotions. "Rhia, you know... what happened before, with our baby..." His voice was heavy with concern. 

Rhia's heart ached as she noticed the anguish in his eyes. She reached out and placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I understand, Joel. And I understand if this news brings back painful emotions."

Joel pondered his thoughts. He didn't feel the need to be angry with Rhia like he had in the prior time. When he warned her, she was irresponsible to even consider having a kid while they were trying to take Ellie to the fireflies.  

"It's not that I'm not happy," he said softly, looking at their intertwined hands,   "but it's just... it's complicated." 

The answer broke Rhia's heart. She carefully got out of bed, intending to go downstairs and ponder about what to do, when Joel reached out and gently grabbed her wrist.

Joel leaned up and carefully brushed a piece of hair behind her ear before cupping her checks. He gazed at her; his gaze drawn to hers. "I will never leave you alone."

A soft smile graced Rhia’s lips, and Joel leaned in, his lips meeting hers in a soft and lingering kiss. It was a promise for her, a reassurance that he was there for her. 

When their lips finally parted, he held her face in his hands, his thumb gently brushing against her cheek, whispering sweet things to her. 

Joel lay back down, pulling her into his arms. As he spooned her close, he caressed her belly carefully, he wanted to protect her and the baby from the world outside. 

“We should tell Ellie tomorrow”, she whispered, feeling safe in his arms. 

“She will be over the moon” he answered, softly.

hand rested on top of Joel's, their fingers entwining over her slightly growing belly.

A few days had passed since Rhia delivered the news to Joel and Ellie, and the last was effectively over the moon. Ellie's excitement was contagious, and she couldn't help but gush about becoming a big sister. 

and Joel hadn’t stopped thinking about it since. There was a difference this time. They weren’t running, they weren’t in the unknown and worried about surviving another day in the dark solitude of the world outside the walls of Jackson. This time, Rhia could be safe and sound and he could shower her with love and protection. This time, building a family didn’t sound like a crazy idea. 

When night enveloped the community and the warmth of midsummer days lingered in the air. The moon hung high in the clear sky, casting a gentle glow over the houses of Jackson. 

Rhia and Joel sat together on the porch of their house; their hands entwined as they looked out into the quiet night. The distant sounds of laughter from the people walking by provided a comforting atmosphere. 

Rhia and Joel allowed a peaceful silence to settle between them. Rhia leaned her head on Joel's shoulder, feeling the steady rhythm of his breathing. It was moments like these that allowed them to simply be a couple. Even when the news of the baby was still causing a certain uneasiness in the air.

Joel realized he had to prove himself. He had to prove to his partner that he would be there for her.

“Rhia” Joel began, breaking the silence. 

Rhia looked her eyes at his “Yes?”

He took a deep breath “I know in this world, this thing I’m about to do doesn't hold the same weight as it used to. But you mean everything to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, protecting you, loving you, and being there for you and for our child.”

Joel dug into his pocket and pulled out a little, improvised ring he'd fashioned from a scrap of wire he'd acquired while being on patrol. It was rough and out of the ordinary, yet it had its own beauty.

Rhia's eyes widened in surprise and a hint of disbelief, but a warm smile tugged at her lips.

"Angel," he said again, his voice steady and soft, "will you marry me?"

Rhia's eyes welled up with tears. "Yes," she muttered, her voice cracking with emotion. "Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, yes."

Joel's face lit up with a smile as he put the improvised ring onto Rhia's finger. It wasn’t a fancy proposal like in the old days, but it was ideal for them, a final testament to their love.

Rhia smiled as she met his gaze and leaned in to kiss him. Their kiss held their compromise in a soft and warm feeling. 

As they pulled away, Joel's eyes sparkled with happiness, and he whispered against her lips “I love you, angel. You’re the best thing this world gave to me” 

Rhia's heart swelled with love. "I love you too, Joel.”

Several months had passed since the night on the porch when Joel proposed to Rhia. During that time, their story continued to be written, their trust was rebuilt from the pieces and their love blossomed. 

And the day had come. Rhia gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Ambar, a name that meant “The sky” was a tribute to the loved ones they had lost, the people both of them loved that were watching from above. Sarah, Tess, and Daisy. 

Joel couldn’t believe he was a father again, that he was taking care of a precious little baby all over again. A contrast to the life he had known before, a life that was him and Sarah against the world. But this time, he wasn’t alone anymore. No longer were he and his daughter by themselves. This time, it was him, their little baby, Ellie, and the woman he loved together as a family. 

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over their little corner of the world, Rhia and Joel found themselves sitting on their porch once like they always do during the evening. The stars began to twinkle in the sky, and Ambar slept in her crib inside. 

In the silence of that tender moment, with the soft breeze caressing their faces, they knew that their story was far from over. There were pages to be written yet, but they also knew that danger was far from being over. 

As they looked out at the night sky, Joel’s chuckle broke the silence.

Rhia looked down at him. “What?”

“I was thinking about us” he simply said, yet his voice was soft.

“What about us?” Rhia’s curiosity creeped out; her eyes fixed on his gorgeous profile in the dim evening light.

Joel turned to her, his eyes meeting hers with a tender gaze. "From a world where it was just me and Sarah, to now, a family of our own." He said, “Thank you for loving me, Angel.”

Rhia's heart exploded with love as she leaned in to kiss him, their lips met in a lingering and sweet kiss, holding all the promises they had made each other since the day they met. From the day they met, when they were younger, to the day their scars still hurt from when they pushed each other apart and finally found their way to each other again. 

So, in that sweet moment beneath the starry sky, they found solace in their shared love and the family they had formed. Their story was still being written, but they were ready to tackle any challenge that came their way; They had each other's backs, after all. They were going to survive any war.

a/n: The last paragraph is cheesy af. Reblogs and comments are appreciated 💌 if you have any question, asks are always open

tag: @joeldjarin

[yanderecrazysie]

Oooh what about , manager Katsuki who always keeping the reader overtime and who be increasing or decreasing her pay check ?)

I would hate this boss so much omg like Bakugou is already a jerk WHYYY

Title: Let It Hurt

Pairings: Bakugou x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, harassment, Bakugou is a bad boss

Summary: Your boss makes your life hell, but, for some reason, he won’t fire you.

Part 2: here

“So let it hurt, let it bleed

Let it take you right down to your knees

Let it burn to the worst degree

May not be what you want, but it's what you need

Sometimes the only way around it

Is to let love do it's work.”

-from “Let It Hurt” by Rascal Flatts

When you first started this job, you were bright-eyed and excited, ready to experience 9-5 office life. Your co-workers were more than welcoming, but your boss was the exact opposite. At the time, you figured he was just having a bad day, but, really? It was just the first red flag of many.

Mr. Bakugou always worked you harder than anyone else. At first, you thought it was because you were new, and needed to learn things everyone else already knew.

But 6 months in and you’re being worked over 80 hours a week. Overtime isn’t paid extra, either.

Your paycheck fluctuates between nice bonuses and surprising raises that make you grateful for your grueling job or numbers that can’t possibly be correct with how absurdly low they are.

What Mr. Bakugou is doing is definitely illegal. You could definitely prove it. But you’re new to the working world and you gaslight yourself into believing it’s normal. You tell yourself it’s too much trouble to deal with HR and it’s uncertain if you could get another job on short notice.

That’s what you told yourself.

Until the harassment started.

Mr. Bakugou would hover over your work station, making snide comments about anything and everything.

“Don’t tell me you’re turning in that report as is.” “This is the best you can do?” “It’s just sad that it takes you so long to do something so simple.”

It stresses you out and makes you second-guess yourself, but it’s just the beginning.

You try to pretend that you don’t care when he sabotages your work in front of higher-ups and belittles you in front of your co-workers until tears are dripping down your face.

You try to pretend you don’t hear him when he calls you names and starts aiming his insults for the places they really hurt.

You try to pretend like he doesn’t bother you at all, and that you’re a purely professional woman. You save your tears for when everyone’s too busy to pay attention.

Mr. Bakugou’s got you convinced that you’re a failure- the worst employee in the whole office building. Every day, something goes wrong and you think “today’s the day I get fired”. You’re about ready to quit yourself.

So it’s a real shock when Mr. Bakugou promotes you, of all people, to his personal assistant. You consider turning him down, but it doesn’t really seem like he’s offering. You feel almost forced into accepting the role.

You were sure you’d be more miserable than ever as Mr. Bakugou’s personal assistant, since you’d have to be around him all the time, but it’s actually not too bad. He doesn’t hover over you judgmentally, though he doesn’t need to when he’s stationed you at the spare desk in his personal office.

The way he treats you is nearly inappropriate. He parades you around at meetings with a hand at your waist, and, if you were a braver woman, you’d report him for sexual harassment for that. He talks softer to you, brings you a cup of coffee when he grabs his, and he doesn’t insult you as often! There’s still mountainloads of overtime, but the pay is better and finally consistent.

Every problem seems miniscule now. You can easily brush past the red flags because they seem less bright and less dangerous than before.

Now that your job has improved, you can’t imagine quitting.

Little do you know, that’s exactly how “Mr. Bakugou” wants it to be.

[bluemallow-log]

✍️ fic authors self rec!

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to other writers you know. Let's spread some self-love! 💛

Omg!! Hi hi hi! Thank you for the ask (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Ok so here goes my favourite five fics that I’ve written (in no particular order):

1. Celestial Bodies (Series)

This series consisted of two fics titles: UPRIGHT MOON and REVERSED STAR but I’m going to count them together. I really love writing this fic because it gave me the opportunity to: (1) explore Yachi’s character as an adult; (2) explore Tsukki’s character as an adult; and (3) show the readers about why I think the relationship between Tsukki and Yachi would work very well if they got together.

The Tsukiyachi fandom is very small (especially when compared to other ships in Haikyuu) but that did not deter me from writing almost 60k words of fic for them. As a matter of fact, my love for them grew tenfold after I finished writing this fic ❤️✨

2. Of War and Theatrical Play

This fic was originally inspired by the SNK S4 soundtrack (Memory Lane). Somehow when I listened to that soundtrack, I thought of a scenario about: “what if Levi and Hange met during a war?”

Then, as someone who loves learning about history, I decided to set the stage during WW2. Then as I did my research, I found that people actually refer to the war arena as “theatre”. It was such an interesting term, and so I kinda made it the main theme of this fic.

It took me quite a long time to finish the fic but afterwards, it felt so great! I really love how the story turned out in the end. I feel so proud of myself because I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone in order to write this 🫶🏼

3. Bunny Slippers

This is my first-ever tsukiyachi fic. I wasn't sure anyone would read it but I wrote it anyway because I simply love writing their dynamics 🥰

I really enjoyed putting a lot of subtle romantic elements in the story. I think the idea behind this fic is how your space will slowly be influenced by your partner as your relationship progresses.

I had a lot of fun writing this (:

Also, without this fic, the Celestial Bodies series would not exist

4. Tales from the Ackerman Estate

This fic literally raised me as a writer. I learned a lot of things from writing this fic

I never would’ve thought I would write a long-ass fic but here I am. 200k words and still counting 😳

At first I thought no one would read it because afaik not many people enjoy historical genre. But clearly I was wrong. I’m so glad people seem to like this fic 💕

I really love working on this fic because I feel I have this place where I can share my passion for history and for psychoanalyzing these characters 😆❤️

5. Don’t You?

If I can offer you some advice, please do not read this fic‼️ I had only my phone notes app and my love for levihan when I published this fic HAHAHA

This fic was not beta-read AND IT WAS NOT PROOF-READ. I’m PRETTY sure this fic was written with bad grammar and poor spelling (I don’t even want to read this fic to check because I’m too embarrassed).

But still, I have a special place in my heart for this fic because this is legit THE first fic that I’ve ever published.

Despite how hard I cringe at the writing, I do recall the happiness and joy that I felt when I wrote this fic. I can still remember the thrill and the nerve when I decided to publish it. I also remember the excitement that I felt when I received my first-ever comment. That’s precisely why I’ll never delete or edit it.

It’s my time capsule. I look at this fic as a proof that I am brave and as a sign that I have come a long way. I keep them with love as it is the one that started my journey, and I’m very grateful that it exist 🥰

[stinkrascal]

I think no one likes my tav :( I love that simblrs began to share other games like bg3! And the small amount that does it sticks together! They reblog each other's bg3 posts, do art for them, put cute tags to support each other, so nice to see!! I really want to be part of that, but no one seems to actually like the bg3 stuff I post🥹 do you have any advice for me?

hi anon, i'm sorry you're feeling this way :( to be honest i don't really know what could be causing ppl to overlook your posts. idk what advice i could give you bc some of my bg3 posts do really really well, and some of them get like maybe 5 notes depending on what time and what day i post 🙈 but please dm me if you like i'd love to follow u if i don't already!! i love rbing bg3 posts on my blog i'd love to rb your posts too! i want everyone to feel included in this community you know ;-; even if you don't feel like your posts get enough attention i promise that isn't an indication of you not being wanted in this community!! it just means you haven't found your audience yet, and that's totally ok. it took me many years of posting consistently on simblr before i found ppl who were interested in my silly video game screenshots and tbh i feel major imposter syndrome for even saying that like jade stfu what do u mean ppl care about your screenshots no they dont😭 so like idk. for me when i get really worked up about feeling like nobody cares about what i post i just try to like......... make a circle of a few mutuals whose opinions i really cherish and every time they interact with my posts in any capacity, liking, commenting, reblogging, etc, i consider that post a win lol. be like "oh well my circle of elite mutuals all liked this post that means this post is pretty cool isnt it!!" lol that sounds silly but it helped a lot for me, bc i was really prone to getting myself in these cycles where i felt like if my posts didnt hit a certain note count that means i suck and nobody likes my stuff and thats a sucky way to feel you know!! and like i don't really know how i can optimze your note count for you, idek how i optimize my own, at this point ive given up on that endeavor bc it just puts too much weird pressure on myself to live up to an arbitrary and unreachable standard. but i think trying 2 reframe the way you think about this situation is just as helpful, it was really helpful for me at least. obv i think tumblr is a place where our posts SHOULD be shared ie reblogging stuff!! and i always always always encourage people to reblog posts bc thats how our community grows and flourishes, thats literally how tumblr has to function to survive so DO IT!! but also with all that being said, it will be better for u in the long run if you don't put a lot of pressure on yourself to hit a certain note count to be a valid participant in this community, instead make it about the love of sharing your creations online, and being content w the fact that your creations are still cool even if it didn't hit a certain level of engagement u desired!! and you know what, when you start loving and passionately posting about your creations, ppl pick up on that excitement. they get excited too!! and then before you know it you do have a community of support! so please dont unduly stress yourself my friend. does this make any sense. idk. YOU GOT THIS ANON I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!

[fakeoldmanfucker]

since i saw you have so many zuck post and i'm a little bit invest in it like you so i want to ask some question about threads since i don't want to have another social media because i have so much now

1. does moskovitz actually interact with zuck there? i saw them following each other

2. does saverin made an account and followed zuck?? since i don't know if that is his real account, tbh if he actually followed zuck, became one of the new users on threads i'd be surprised because i thought he already didn't care much about either fb or meta in general

also I saw zuck posting tsn reference there for threads and commenting gif of tsn too

sorry for my sloppy english, hope you reply

Hi anon! Thank you for your ask!

What I need everyone on Tumblr to know is that Mark is basically trying to reinvent himself. He's been the butt of a lot of jokes for about a decade now, and this bout with Elon, and Elon's fumbling of Twitter, has presented a prime opportunity for Mark to reboot his public image. This means he's responding to people's posts on Threads, making jokes, and yes, referencing The Social Network.

Now to your questions:

Yes! Dustin and Mark are actually still really close. Dustin's mentioned going on vacation with Mark fairly regularly (for whatever that means for them). Dustin had access to the pre-release launch of Threads and was user # 3037 (as indicated on his Instagram account), and he generally talks about Mark a lot, mostly to defend him/hype him up. He's been talking about Mark a lot lately, because of the drama with Musk and with the launch of Threads, but Mark has been pretty consistently mentioned in his Twitter posts, going back for years. Dustin seems to be particularly excited about Threads, probably because he feels let down by Twitter and the promise of Bluesky, and also because Dustin still owns a 0.6% stake in Meta, which is worth something like $5 billion. Dustin as well as other early Facebook employees have expressed a feeling of nostalgia and excitement akin to the early days of the company, both from the product development side as well as from the consumer side. Anyway, it seems that Dustin's penchant for micro-blogging and Mark's role to promote Meta's new app have combined and allowed them to publicly communicate for the first time in at least a decade. It has been, honestly, delightful to watch. See the bottom of the post for screenshots of their interactions.

Judging by the Instagram account linked to the Threads account, Saverin really is following Mark. (I judged whether or not the Insta account was real by scrolling through who he follows: some weather accounts, someone with the last name that's the same as his wife, someone who's either a sister or cousin, Fox News. These interests correspond with the types of accounts he follows on Twitter; it's most likely really him.) I agree, it is kinda of insane that Saverin joined so early; it's possible he sold the rest of his shares because B Capital got a big infusion of money at the end of 2022, which corresponds with the fund they raised earlier this year. It's also possible he converted his shares from Class A to Class B, but this move still loses him power. He doesn't really have any incentive to be interested in Meta, not anymore. And yet, Saverin was just under the 2 millionth member to join Threads (1,920,187). Taking into account that 30 million people(/brands) joined Threads in the first day, Saverin was an early adopter. At the same time however, in addition to likely not having any financial interest in the company, Saverin doesn't post very often on Twitter (most of which are reposts of articles) and has only ever posted to Instagram twice, and not since 2014 at that. It's interesting to me that he apparently cares so much to be on Threads so early since he doesn't seem to be that fond of micro-blogging or Instagram anyway. At the least, he is a private person, more private than even Mark has ever been, and he is likely on Threads to lurk rather than to post. Which brings me to the point that Saverin is following Mark. He's also following a number of influential Meta people, including important early employees (none of them follow him back). Combined with the fact that Saverin consistently puts "Facebook co-founder" at the top of all of his bios, regardless of his current projects and investments, this paints an image of a petty man who wants to be relevant. It may be interesting that Saverin follows Mark, but don't expect anything to come of it. Saverin lost his chance to make any amends with Mark and anyone else a long time ago.

Bonus: Mark posting a TSN gif? For some reason?? Even though the post he was replying to didn't even mention TSN? (it's a screenshot of the gif of the moment when Eduardo gives Mark the money to go to Palo Alto for the summer while they're hiring interns)

[iwannaban0nym0us]

so um apparently i am part of the face of my schools queer community now

(gonna ramble about this and some related things below the cut, ok actually it might not all be related to that but it does start with that)

So I got invited to join the student leadership team for my school's Queer (and Questioning) Student Allience aka QSU which is really awesome (but also I do so much other stuff so hopefully this doesn't take too much of my time) and we had our first meeting at lunch today in which I found out that I'm the only junior (the other 5 people are seniors) on the team so unless we recruit more people I will be the only returning leadership member next year

Before I move on, I'm kinda excited to be like the face of queerness at my school but also I just don't feel qualified (despite having been going to the equivalent of qsu since like 5th grade having been out as queer since 8th and out as trans since 9th) idk I think some of this comes from me having gotten really lucky and had a pretty smooth transition but some of it also comes from my asshole ex painting themself as the paragon of queer knowledge and sometimes making comments to me about not understanding things because I was too new to the queer world

Ok, I have more related things to say but I think it's gonna be easier to do this in chronological order because this week has been a time.

Alright, Monday, I had all of my hard classes and I don't think anything specific happened it was just like a long day and then I went home and then I had a late soccer practice and then after that there was a team meeting thing so I didn't go to bed until late. Some things did happen that triggered me to seriously start thinking about a legal name change tho

Now yesterday, my day started w/ a hug from M (my ex-gf)

And then lunch was the qsu meeting

And then after school I talked to M about joining QSU leadership, which some friends say was a bad idea but i just can't be the only junior on leadership because then next year will be a lot and i already do enough, and M is literally the only junior (besides me) who consistently went to QSU last year, and uh they were kinda shocked but also seemed interested and i think they may have been kinda flustered and idk how to read that

And then I had soccer practice and one of my defenders was an asshole

then today, today was a ride

morning stuff happened it was chill

then we had grade level time where we got to pick our tent groups for the trip and it was easy for me but i could clearly see M struggling and it took all of my willpower not to go over and check on them

and then we had affinity group time and I was w/ QSU which was fun and M was also there too and some of the time was fun getting to know new members and stuff and then at one point I checked in on M and they were kinda closed off and clearly unhappy about their tent group and I just kinda made it clear that I was there if they wanted to talk

and then we had lunch and i ate w/ my friends and then they were boring and I went to find another friend who was busy w/ their own drama and so i end up hanging out w/ the theater kids (M and my asshole ex's friend group) and that was interesting, i did get to talk about star trek tho

at this point i was not having a great time

then i was kinda bouncing around and saying i needed to do smth so i wandered around w/ friends a bit and eventually lunch was over and we went to the next activity

and after that there was the spirit assembly and my grade won one of the activities (which i help out w/ !) and we should have won the paper airplane competition but at least we won the balloon one and uh during that one we needed someone to do a handstand so I got M to do it because I knew they could

and then we had some sorta free time and so i ended up wandering around in circles w/ my friends really really needing to do smth but not having anything to do so eventually a couple of us ended up in an empty classroom just kinda chilling oh and during that time i was hella delirious so i gave one of my friends my phone because i didn't trust myself not to text M smth stupid

and then we had to go back for the last activity but we decided to be kinda late and as we were walking in M was walking out and so I started talking to them and ended up following them down to get water and while we were talking they complimented me on doing good in the spirit balloon game thing earlier

when we were talking i also got them to open up a little more about their tent and it turns out they're w/ a friend and my asshole ex (who M has heard plenty about but is apparently still friends w/ because during grade time i literally always see M w/ my asshole ex and my asshole ex's boyfriend) although M was saying they're not too happy about tenting w/ my asshole ex which did kinda reassure my trust in M because like it shows they did actually listen when i told them everything my asshole ex did to me

anyways then we ran into some of their friends and they don't me instead of going back to watch the volleyball games which we technically should have been doing they were gonna go play cards w/ their friends in the library and so i was like 'ok, have fun' and started to head back to the gym because i knew that was the better choice for me and after i was partway down the hallway M called out to me and like invited me to join them and i said thanks but i'm good and they said i could join them if i changed my mind

and once i was almost back to the gym i ran into a friend who had walked up late w/ me and he said he didn't like how loud the gym was and so i mentioned that the theater kids were playing cards in the library and then i went to the gym because a loud space w/ a thing to focus on was perfect for me

our grade lost kinda quickly tho so then i ended up outside of the gym w/ a friend who wouldn't let me to the library or give me my phone back because they didn't want me to do smth stupid and so i just kinda zoned out until school was over

but i was still around for a bit but that friend had to run so after they gave me my phone back i went to the library and found M (+their friends) and my friend from earlier and i watched them play cards for a little while and it was kinda fun

and then i went home and packed for the trip camping tomorrow and then like an hour ago M texted me (and for some reason the 2 times they've texted me since I reestablished contact have been about packing, specifically them procrastinating on it and me encouraging them to get it done which was a thing that happened before we broke up) and so we had a surprisingly long slightly on and off conversation about packing and uh now it's now and i have to be up in 7 hours and should probably get sleep

okok i'm gonna go to bed very soon, but one final thought, i'm kinda shocked that i didn't cry at all today

[sargeant-bxrnes]

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

warnings: rafe being… rafe. drug mention & consumption, cursing, toxic relationship, sexual situations/implications, mental health issues. ANGST.

[AN: this is the first thing i’ve written, ever, so my apologies if it’s not flawless ; also, english is not my first language, that’s a warning on its own]

my requests are open btw

click for my master list

word count: 4.4K

Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

“Hey,” you said in a soft tone as soon as Rafe picked up the phone, you were laying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey princess,” his tone was calm, but his voice was rough and raspy all together.

“How you doing?” you asked him, even though you’d seen him last night, up close.

“I’m doing great,” he replied in a surprisingly cheerful tone, which is weird this early in the morning. Rafe is not a morning person. “You sound tired.”

“I am tired,” you confirmed with a sigh. “Guess I have you to thank for that.”

“My pleasure.” he replied cockily, and even though you couldn’t see him, you could practically hear his proud smirk.

“So, what’s the plan today?” you asked in a casual tone, fidgeting with the edge of Rafe’s shirt, the one you wore to sleep.

“Uh, what do you mean?” he asked in a distracted tone, he sniffed subtly and coughed.

You knew what that meant, but still, you hoped it wasn’t what you deep down knew it was.

“Yeah, I mean—“ you said and made a brief pause. “Wanna go to the club? Maybe we can take a ride on the boat, you know, with food, alcohol... just us.”

“Can’t, I’m busy.” he said after a few seconds, if you didn’t know him better and his occasional mood swings, you would’ve said his tone was harsh.

"Really?" you asked in a soft tone, trying to disguise your disappointment with interest. "But I thought we were going out together today."

"Y/N, just because I'm your boyfriend it doesn't mean I have to be with you all the fucking time."

Okay, now he was definitely angry, you thought you said the right thing, but it still made him angry.

"Rafe-"

"No, Y/N. I have a life of my own, you know? Things to do besides you."

“That’s okay Rafe, I get it,” You said calmly, nodding your head softly. “Have fun today.”

Now you clearly heard the sound of him sniffing something and the sigh that left his lips after, and Barry’s voice in the background. “Don’t play the victim card on me, that’s not gonna work. I deserve to have some time off.”

“I didn’t,” you said softly. “And it’s okay baby, you’re right, you deserve to have some fun.”

“See? No need to be so fucking dramatic,” he said, his voice and words slurring. You? Dramatic? It was all him. “But don’t worry princess, I’ll drop by tonight and fuck the attitude out of you, yeah? That way I’m not just doing things with you, I’m doing you.”

And with such a vulgar comment and a harsh tone, Rafe hung up on you, leaving you completely dumbfounded and filled with incredulity.

What you did know for a fact, is that he would keep up his word. And judging by his tone of voice and how annoyed he was, you could already imagine the ache between your legs.

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

You knew exactly what you were getting into when you started hooking up with Rafe, and what you were committing to when you agreed to be his girlfriend.

You know that man carries more problems than he shows, he prefers to make himself appear as the Kook prince who lives a life of partying and money; hiding all the things that were going on in his head.

However, there were times when his attitude made you doubt yourself.

You couldn't help but think, ‘What if one day I don't manage to calm him down?’ ‘What if one day he realizes that there is someone prettier, or hotter, or wealthier out there?’

And Rafe would get angry if you doubted yourself. He would complain to you about it, saying you had no reason to be insecure about your looks; if you are absolutely gorgeous, or to feel insecure about your personality; if you were the most genuine person he'd ever met, and you could make him laugh until he forgot all his problems.

But what really made him furious was when you had doubts about the relationship itself, about whether or not he was capable of leaving you for someone else. He took those doubts personally, as if he wasn't trying hard enough to show you how much you mean to him.

When in reality; you were doubting yourself.

'Cause it's always one step forward

You were preparing dinner for you and Rafe, your family was out for the weekend, and Rafe had decided to spend it with you.

Your hair was tied up in a bun, your attire consisted of nothing but your underwear and a shirt that used to be Rafe's, but you took it so long ago that it's yours now.

Music from your shared playlist played in the background, as you danced absentmindedly with a spatula in hand, extremely calm and enjoying time with your boyfriend.

Rafe could do nothing but stare at you with admiration, you are literally the only good thing in his life; his little piece of heaven. You are everything to him.

As soon as Dark Red by Steve Lacy started playing, you let out an excited gasp. That song in particular is Rafe’s and yours, like… if you two had to choose a song to describe your relationship, it would be that one. It represented how you two did not always have good times, but your love prevailed.

Seeing you this happy, comfortable and at ease with him made Rafe's soul happy. All his life, he had done nothing else besides make people angry, disappointed, terrified. But with you, everything was different.

You were so focused on swaying your hips to the music and singing, that you didn't notice when Rafe stood up and walked over to where you were.

It wasn't until he stood behind you, chest to back and with his hands on your hips, that you realized he was closer. His head was bowed, you could feel his breathing close to your ear, so he was able to murmur in your ear the lyrics of the song:

“Only you, my girl, only you, babe,” he sang in your ear, his voice a soft whisper as he wrapped his arms around your body and started to sway with you. “Only you, darling, only you, babe.”

The gesture quickened your heart to unsuspected levels, you felt your knees weaken as you pressed closer to his body, appreciating his closeness as he pressed a kiss against your temple.

“You know I love you so much, right?” he mumbled in your ear, as you closed your eyes and relished his presence.

“I love you too, baby.”  you mumbled back, leaning your head against his chest, caressing one of his arms around your waist with your fingertips, and bringing your hand to his ash blond hair, stroking it softly.

and three steps back

“Why is he mad at you, again?” Topper asked you with a raised eyebrow, after witnessing Rafe utterly avoiding even looking at you when he walked into the room and then left without a word.

“Because I told Barry to not open the door if Rafe dropped by,” You replied with a shrug, closing your eyes and leaning back against the chair. “And when Rafe tried to lash out on him, Barry said it all had been ‘Mrs.Country Club’s’ request.”

“And he’s mad at you because you don’t want him to get all fucked up?” Topper questioned next, trying to understand the situation. But he never knew what the fuck you two were up to.

“Yes, but it’s Rafe, are you surprised?” you said with a heavy sigh.

“No, not really,” Topper admitted. “Honestly, I don’t know why you keep up with him, Y/N.”

“I ask myself that all the time…” you said with a deep sigh. “But I love him, so I guess that’s the answer.”

“And? I mean, I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ Y/N, but he’s…” Topper trailed off, apparently looking for the right word.

“I know exactly how he is, Topper, I don’t need you to remind me. I already think about that way too much.”

You and Topper had easily assumed that Rafe was no longer around, since he seemed to be making his best efforts to avoid you.

But Rafe was there, and he heard everything. He’d heard Topper giving you bad advice (or what he considered bad advice) And he heard you, having doubts about why you loved him or stood by him at all,and it made him want to lash out again.

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

[+18. Really]

“Leave me alone!” his voice boomed in the room, his brows furrowed and the veins in his neck were popping out.

“Rafe—“ you tried once again, approaching slowly in an attempt to place a hand on his shoulder, but he waved it away aggressively.

“Leave-me-alone,” he said, pausing in between each word to emphasize on how much he meant it. His eyes were bloodshot, his nose had specks of white dust, his lips were dry and his voice was coarse.

You weren’t entirely sure what you could say to get him to calm down. Or if there was anything at all you could do.

Normally, what upsets him the most is Ward. His own father. Rafe has spent his whole life trying to prove he's a good son, to make his father proud, and Ward never appreciates his efforts, only notices the bad, and ignores Rafe's clear calls for help, has since Rafe was 10 years old, so he certainly wasn't going to pay attention to him now that Rafe finally had a steady girlfriend, someone who had willingly decided to help.

95% of the time, you managed to talk to Rafe before he decided to resort to intoxication. Most of the time just seeing you helped him calm down, hearing your voice soothed him, and your lips, your skin, put him in a state of peace.

But the other 5% is when Rafe resorted to alcohol and, above all, drugs.

When Rafe is upset and decides to get high, he only manages to become unstable, erratic and yes, aggressive if not handled with care.

In those situations, the best thing you can do, putting yourself first, is to give him his space. Let him screw himself as much as he wants for that day, and help him deal with the consequences the next day, while you listen to him lament his attitude.

Rafe always said he would quit the vice; claiming you were all he needed to calm himself down, that you made him feel at peace. And above all, that you weren't slowly killing him; on the contrary, every minute he spent with you made him feel more alive.

However, for one reason or another, he always came back to it. Whether it was at a party, because Kelce suggested it, or, as is almost always the case, when he's upset with his father and needs quick relief.

And usually, this ‘quick relief’ ends up with Rafe fucked up, big time.

Once he was convinced that you wouldn't try to intervene again, Rafe went back to his business. He turned to the table, and since he already had the line ready, he simply leaned over and inhaled it, throwing his head back, running his hand through his hair and exhaling as he closed his eyes.

You exhaled heavily, shaking your head as you stared at your feet.  You knew he would struggle to quit, after all it is an addiction and he has to fight it, but sometimes you get the impression that Rafe doesn't want to quit, not really.

"Do you want to help me?" asked Rafe eventually, turning his head to look at you. You didn't know if it was a trick question or not, so you hesitated before answering. "Answer me."

"Yes, of course I want to, Rafe." you replied with your respective hesitations, wondering what he was up to.

"Come here then," he said, making a 'come hither’ sign with his fingers.

You took a hesitant step but stopped, your eyes narrowing as you analyzed Rafe, trying to determine his intentions.

He raised both eyebrows in your direction, in a silent question of whether or not you're going to go with him.

Eventually you walked over to where Rafe was, he smiled at you while biting his lip lightly. Without saying anything he approached you and kissed you; the drugs made his senses heighten, so the kiss was intense from the beginning.

So that's when it made sense to you what he wanted, he wanted you. Your most obvious thought is that he would use you to take out your frustration, put the drugs aside and, most likely, fuck you.

Your idea seemed to be the right one as soon as Rafe grabbed you by the waist, still with his lips on yours, left a little bite on your lip before pulling away; and without any problem, lifted you off the floor and placed you on the table.

It's something you wouldn't admit out loud,—mostly out of shame and guilt,—but this kind of sex with Rafe was the best, he's completely unrestrained, rough, full of stamina and teasing, and above all, possessive. And that, in combination with his attractiveness, always drove you crazy.

And honestly; if what he wanted was to fuck you to take out his frustration, you'd let him.

His kisses were hungry and his hands desperate, running all over your body without distinction, as if he didn't know where to start.

He parted his lips from yours, and left a kiss at the corner of them, on your jaw; and began to make a little trail of slow kisses down your neck. The feeling of his lips on your neck made you bite your lip as you wrapped your legs around his waist to feel him closer.

You slid your hand under his shirt, caressing his defined abs and the sides of his body gently with the tips of your fingers, as he left little bites on your neck. Your hands slowly moved up, intending to remove his shirt, but Rafe was quicker and brought his hands to the edge of your shirt, causing you to stop your movements to raise your arms, so he could remove your shirt with ease. And so he did.

He parted his lips from your neck and stared at you, the hunger in his eyes made you feel a fire in the pit of your stomach that only he could put out.

Desperately, your lips connected again as he settled between your legs. One of his hands traveled to your neck, and he wrapped his fingers around it, pressing lightly to the sides. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head; though he couldn't see it.

With just enough strength, Rafe used the grip he had on your neck to push you down onto the table, so that you were lying on top of it.

As soon as he leaned over the table, you could feel his breath over abdomen, so you bit your lip in anticipation for what was to come.

He began to leave slow, wet kisses on your abdomen, making a slow trail to the edge of your shorts. Your automatic reaction was to close your eyes and put a hand in his hair, stroking it gently.

What you didn’t know is that the fact that you closed your eyes had given Rafe an opportunity he couldn't miss. Without you noticing, he slid a hand to the side of the table, where the small bag of white powder was.

To conceal his actions, he unbuttoned your shorts, and returned his lips to the beginning of your abdomen for more time.

The little bite he left to distract your attention caused a gasp to escape your lips; and that sound almost caused him to change plans completely.

He did want to fuck you, don’t get him wrong. He even had a mental debate about whether to continue what he was doing or simply sink his head between your thighs and provoke more sounds like that.

But he wanted to try something first. He had always wanted to try it, but had never asked you, because he knew that you would most likely say no.

With ease, he slid your shorts down your legs; so that they stayed at your ankles or fell to the floor; he didn't care. One of his hands slid into your underwear with ease, his fingers going straight to where he knew you needed him the most.

Trusting that you would not open your eyes, carefully, he put the white substance on your body, so delicately you didn’t notice. He began to prepare to inhale, while biting his lip in reaction to the sinful sounds that left your lips.

And obviously, without warning, Rafe inhaled a line from your thigh.

And all your sounds stopped, your eyes opened and your expression was filled with surprise, the bad kind.

You couldn't believe what Rafe had just done, you felt like an idiot for falling into the trap.

You also had to bite your lip to keep from letting out a moan in reaction to what his fingers were doing in between your legs, but your pride forbade it.

But more than anything else, you were outraged.

“Rafe, you did not just—“

“It felt nice, yeah?” Rafe’s voice was hoarse, you could feel his breath over your skin, as he left little kisses around. “After all, I did feel you clench around my fingers.”

His dirty words, hoarse voice, and close proximity to your body, not to mention his fingers deep inside you, caused you to let out a soft moan, causing Rafe to smirk in what he thought was victory.

But you wouldn't let him win this little game.

Although you really didn't want to, you grabbed his hand by the wrist and pulled him away, your legs trembling slightly at the sudden lack of anything between them.

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as soon as you pushed him away from you and got off the table, lifting your shorts off the floor and putting them back on without a word.

"What are you doing?"

You didn't answer, as you searched for  your shirt, feeling his heavy gaze on your body.

"Y/N, where do you think you're going?"

“I’m leaving you alone as you asked me to, remember?” you said in irony. “Before you sniffed a line off me after I begged you to quit that shit?”

“Oh, so now you’re playing the victim?” his voice rose. “Don't- Don’t act as if you wouldn’t have let me fuck you less than a minute ago!”

"Yes I would have let you, to distract you from that shit!" you admitted to him, failing to control your anger. "I said I wanted to help you, to distract you, to give you something different to do. Not that I'd give you another place to snort lines from!"

Rafe knew you were right, of course he did.

You had spent months after months trying to get him to quit, you had offered him countless hours of your days to give him something new to do, distractions, attention and love. And this is how he had decided to pay you back?

But Rafe was angry too, very. You had interrupted him, you were yelling at him; and you had left him so hard, that it would start to hurt unless he did something about it.

“Fine, then get the fuck out of here.” Rafe spat, his anger clearly getting the best of him.

Your eyes widened at that, you hadn't expected him to react like that.

Your best case scenario would be that your attitude would piss him off, yes, but that he would retaliate by getting you back to the table and showing you everything you were missing.

Instead, he simply took your word for it and told you to get out of the room.

“What?”

“You heard me, get out.”

“Rafe—“

“You uh, you have three options, yeah? You let me fuck you over that table and do whatever I want, you get out of here, or I’ll get you out of here.”

The first offer was tempting, it really was, but you wouldn’t allow him to talk to you like that. Before anything, came respect and dignity, and no matter how much you wanted him to fuck you silly, you were too angry and disappointed at him to let it slip.

Blinking repeatedly to chase away the tears from your eyes, you grabbed your phone from the other end of the table, your jacket from Rafe's bed, and walked out of there without another word as you heard him calling your name.

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

Your relationship with Rafe was unique.

Not because of the circumstances in which it was created. A one-night-stand that turned into something casual, that was formalized after a dinner.

If not for Rafe.

You loved him, no doubt about it. You would give anything to see him happy and at peace, at peace with himself and succeeding in his life.

Rafe would do anything for you, really, anything. No matter how risky, demanding or dangerous, he would do anything for you.

He would die and kill for you.

But that surely didn’t mean it was an easy relationship, hell no. In fact, the willingness both of you had to do anything for each other sometimes made things too complicated; for at times it seemed that not a single rational thought crossed your minds.

And yes, Rafe’s addiction was a big issue. Whenever he was too high, or going through withdrawals, he wasn’t the Rafe you knew or had grown to love, it was another side of him you wanted to help get rid off. And the process wasn’t easy.

While trying to get clean; there was no way to know how he’d behave. He could either get clingy and want you around at all times to calm himself down, or he’d be in a very bad mood all the time, constantly snapping at you and raising his voice.

So there were days where he’d walk you to the door of your house and leave you there with a tender kiss and a smile.

Or days when you’d get out of his truck without a word, with tears streaming down your cheeks while he kept yelling for probably the stupidest thing.

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

'It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Rafe knew he wasn’t okay. After all, he had begged his father for help, begged for anything that would get those thoughts to stop, but his father hadn’t listened, had only told him to ‘man up.’

You knew he wasn’t okay. Which is why you wanted to help him, to offer the support no one else had bothered to give him before he met you.

Whether he wanted it or not, those thoughts were still there. Being with you made them easier to ignore, but it’s not like they vanished entirely. He still had some ideas that made his own skin crawl.

And sometimes, you’d say or do the wrong thing and trigger those thoughts. And things got bad again for him.

Rafe knew you wanted nothing but to help him get better and be the best version of himself, and he really wanted to give you that. To change and make an effort. Not only for himself but for you. He wanted to be a man worthy of your love.

But it was hard to be anywhere near decent when you two went out and a guy stared at you for longer than Rafe’s limits allowed, or when guys tried to hit on you, when his friends got a little bit too close for his comfort.

Whenever he got jealous, he turned into a walking, talking ticking bomb. Anything could, and would set him off.

It wasn’t your fault, not really, but most of the time you felt it was. You knew Rafe dealt with a lot of insecurities already, of not being a nice person, not being good enough and so many other things. And you hated being one of the factors that caused his insecurities to arise.

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

It was a complicated relationship, and it would probably never stop being complicated because both of you are complex people, plus there are other factors that affect the relationship.

But that didn't mean either of you would stop fighting to keep it alive. Neither would let the other go.

Rafe utterly refused to ever let you go. He loved you as he had never loved anyone, as he never thought himself capable of loving with that twisted heart of his.

You are, without exception, the best thing in his life, the best thing that ever happened to him. And you being in his heart was slowly turning him into who he had wanted to be during all those years of loneliness.

And you would never let him go, because you loved him with all your heart, soul and nerve of your body. And because you know that no one will ever love you like him. With so much passion, intensity, honesty and purity.

Because every feeling Rafe expressed with you was true; he was himself with you. And you didn't want to let him go.

Even if the two of you went one step forward, and three steps back, that single step would be longer than any step life makes you take backwards.

[bestiesenpai]

youtuber Sukuna

I beg you to read the shitposts I made about this, they are delicious. You don’t have to of course but...if you loved me you would :) s/n = screen name, and I hope you chuckle at Sukunas screen name

Content warning: uhmhm lowkey incel shit(mean internet comments and whatnot)

part two --- part 3

Name: Sukuna. Age: 25. Height: 6 foot 5 inches. Occupation: toxic Youtuber, fitness trainer and hot guy.

Sukuna wasn’t exactly known for being kind. He wasn’t nice to others, rarely having anything good to say about anyone, and he’d made a successful Youtube career out of it. First starting as a fitness trainer at his gym, through encouragement from his clients and the notion of a quick cash grab, he started Youtube.

He didn’t care about it and that reflected in the quality of his videos and editing. He didn’t have consistent uploads, just filming and posting videos whenever he wanted, analytics be fucked. But somehow, that worked out for him, and he quickly found himself with over two million subscribers just frothing at the mouth for his next video.

And those subscribers were some of the worst people. Sukuna didn’t care about fostering a safe space online for others, not in the slightest. His comment sections were atrocious, both on his Youtube and his Instagram. It was full of toxic men one-upping each other constantly and dragging on each other for not being able to work out as much as Sukuna did.

Sukuna was a large part of why his fanbase were so toxic. He himself often made bad comments about others, whether fellow creators or people that happened to appear in the backgrounds of his videos, and on more than one occasion he’d been ‘cancelled’. None of that mattered though, all he cared about was shitting on other people and making money.

Sometimes he played video games and posted it, but not too often. Sukuna often stated he wasn’t so much of a fucking lonely loser that he’d play video games all the time, and so the gaming videos he did post were few and far between. He played angry shooter games and GTA, mindless button clicking he could get lost in for a few hours for a video.

Laying in bed one night after uploading his most recent video, one where he rages at 12 year olds on GTA online, Sukuna was just scrolling through his phone mindlessly. After he uploads video game content, like clockwork, he gets recommendations for gaming channels. He only watches a few of them, mostly leaving mean comments saying what losers they are, but one catches his eye.

He’s never been recommended this kind of video before. The thumbnail is light and bright with some pink aesthetic lights in the back. But the most enticing thing is the person in the middle, cute pink cat ear headphones on and a bright smile.

“Let’s see…” Sukuna mumbles to himself, mindlessly clicking the video. He hasn’t even read the title, he only clicked it because they were cute, and here he is nearly blinded by the bright setup they have.

“Hi everyone, it’s (Y/N) here and I’m really excited today! We’re going to be playing this new game I found!” Sukuna is immediately enraptured by the sound of your voice, watching how your face changes as you talk. His eyes drift off to the decor behind you, cute plushies and healthy plants, and some twinkling fairy lights. There’s books as well, and your chair is one of those ergonomic gamer chairs he has as well but in pink.

Sukuna watches the video dumbly, totally in the dark about whatever you’re doing, but loving it all the same. All he knows is that he likes the sound of your voice, and when you laugh and smile at a funny part in the game, it makes a light flush come to his cheeks.

It only takes one video for Sukuna to spiral into more of your content. He watches a video on your gaming setup, and he’s surprised that so much technology can come in pink. He watches a video on how you edit, a few of you cooking in your kitchen, and even a few vlog videos.

He quickly subscribes to your channel, and when you plug your social media, he immediately goes there. Pulling up your Instagram, he stares at your profile picture and almost audibly coos at you for being cute.

Your profile is just as cute as your videos are and Sukuna barely remembers to follow you before he’s going through your whole feed, liking every picture he sees. Sometimes he leaves comments, only one word though, ‘cute’. He’s never liked something so outright cute before, it wasn’t who he was and it definitely didn’t fit with his brand.

Falling asleep after following you on every platform, Sukuna wakes up thinking about you as well. And he also wakes up to hundreds of comments from all his accounts, bombarding him with questions and screenshots from last night.

‘SUKUNA WHY WOULD YOU LIKE THIS SHIT?!’

‘OMG Sukuna liked (Y/N)s posts!!’

‘Sukuna is so gross and toxic, you better stay away from (Y/N)!’

‘SUKUNA YOU GAY NOW’

‘EW why the fuck do you like this bitch?’

There were hundreds of comments that he waded through. Most were from his fans, expressing disgust at how many photos of yours he’d liked and wondering why he, Sukuna, most heterosexual alpha male on the planet, would like a pretty in pink Youtuber who had bubbly intros and whined when their animal crossing villagers wanted to move away.

Other comments were from your fans, some in awe that he would like you considering how much he said he hated overly cute things. Other fans expressed concern, worried what this might mean for their favorite Youtuber. Did Sukuna want to cause problems, potentially hurting you? He did have a reputation of bullying others, so this wasn’t far fetched.

Checking your Instagram, you didn’t make any comment about it. There wasn’t any update or anything, but on his end he was being tagged in endless Twitter threads with screenshots of him liking your posts and commenting under them.

“For fucks sake.” He grunted, clenching his phone in his hands. The amount of notifications he was getting were starting to upset him and he nearly threw his phone to get them to stop.

Ignoring his phone for the rest of the day, Sukuna went to the gym like he always did and trained with his clients. Some of them brought it up to him, asking him if he had a mind break last night and forgot what he was doing. Sending them harsh glares, Sukuna refused to talk about it.

“Oh my fucking god.” Sukuna nearly wailed when he got home, finally checking his phone. His name and yours had begun trending, and the hashtag #protect(Y/N) was also. Muttering angrily under his breath, Sukuna turned on Instagram live.

“Okay what the fuck!” He shouted, seeing the live become instantly flooded with people all screaming about you and him. “You’re all fucking annoying, you know that?” Glaring harshly at the camera, he read some of the comments that went by.

‘WHY’D YOU LIKE (Y/N)S POSTS FROM 2017’

‘Are you two secretly dating??’

‘COLLAB!’

“Who gives a shit why I liked their stuff, you’re a fucking weirdo for keeping track of me. And we aren’t secretly dating, dipshits.” Rolling his eyes, Sukuna scoffed as more comments came in begging for a collaboration. “And think about it you morons, why would we collab? Our shit is too fucking different, what would we even film about?”

Sukuna stayed on Instagram live for nearly an hour answering questions asking about you. Every time he had to answer that you weren’t secretly dating, he got a little more annoyed. Not at the comments themselves but at the fact that it was true; you didn’t even know he existed.

Ending the live in a huff, Sukuna didn’t feel any better than before, and it was made even worse by the fact that everything he said was being relayed to Twitter, and you were tagged in every tweet.

“These idiots!” Staring at his phone, Sukuna couldn’t believe what he was seeing. On your Instagram stories, you’d posted a q&a for your followers, and nearly all of the comments were about Sukuna.

“Hi everyone! No, me and Sukuna aren’t dating!” You said, laughing a little to ease how uncomfortable you were. “To be honest, I’ve never even heard of him before! As you know, my content is very...different from his, so our circles don’t exactly intersect. But I’m always happy to have new followers and potential friends!”

“Fuck me.” Sukuna groaned, cringing at how uncomfortable you looked having to address the sudden onslaught of questions. For once he wished he’d actually given a shit about his online presence, so that maybe one day your circles could intersect. He knew he scared you, he scared a lot of people, and this was just proof.

“Uh, Sukuna if you see this, hi it’s nice to meet you!” You said in the next slide, puffing out your cheeks and waving cutely at the camera. It made Sukuna blush, and he hated it. “Thank you for following me and liking my content! I was very surprised that you found me!”

“Of course I did, idiot, you’re fucking cute.” He muttered under his breath.

“I know a lot of people are asking for us to do a video together and I know our content is really different, so don’t feel pressured to respond or anything, but the offer is open! If you’d like, we can collab on something.”

“On what?” He asked like you were there.

“I cook sometimes, and I know you cook too! Maybe we can make a cooking video? You can teach me how to make healthy food or something!” Sukuna could tell a fake laugh when he heard one, and you definitely had one right now. “Anyways, thank you! Bye Sukuna!” But hearing you say his name cutely like that made him not care.

He nearly responded right away, accepting the collab offer now that you’d spoken about it, but he didn’t want to seem desperate. He watched through the rest of your Instagram stories, going back and replaying the parts where you talked about him over and over and his heart clenched every time when you said his name.

In the dead of night, Sukuna DM’s you after watching your latest video and leaving the simple comment ‘check your DM’s’.

“Fuck, what should I say?” He’s suddenly stumped as he looks at the keyboard. Typing and retyping a message, in the end all he can say is hi. He doesn’t expect a reply, ever, but when he gets a vibration on his phone two seconds later he jumps to read it.

(S/N): hi Sukuna! :)

(cursedgod): hey

Real fucking smart, repeating what he just said.

(S/N): is there something you wanted to talk to me about?

(S/N): I hope you haven’t been annoyed at all the notifications you’ve been getting!

(cursedgod): No it’s okay

(cursedgod): we can collab if you want

Good Sukuna, good. Play it cool, don’t let them know that your fingers are actually trembling because you’re nervous.

(S/N): do you want to?? I don’t want to pressure you! I know we’re pretty different haha

(cursedgod): yeah, let's do it. Cooking?

(S/N): sure!

Looking around his home, he was suddenly assaulted with the fact that he didn’t have any furniture. He barely had a proper bedroom, just a mattress on a bare frame and a dresser. His lounge room was the same with his computer setup in one corner and then nothing else. There was only a couch, a mounted TV and a fold out table and chairs for his dining room.

(cursedgod): I know a studio kitchen we can use, I’ll send you the address

Thank god he’d done promo work for a brand in a studio one day, otherwise he’d be fucked.

(S/N): awesome! I’m free next Saturday!

And just like that, it was a date. Well, a meeting. Sukuna knew it wasn’t a date, but his heart still thumped like it was one. Confirming the time, he ended the conversation with a curt goodbye and obsessed about it throughout the night.

When the day to meet you came, Sukuna nearly ran late trying to pick out his clothes. He’d never cared about looking good or presenting himself well in front of others, whatever version of him he turned up in was what they got. But for you, he wanted to try a little harder.

Waiting outside the studio space, Sukuna rubbed his hands together nervously. You’d messaged a day or two ago offering to put the video on your channel since it probably wouldn’t fit his aesthetic, so he didn’t have to bring his shitty camera equipment.

“S-sukuna?” Snapping his head up, Sukunas mouth fell open looking at your curious face a few feet away, an Uber driving off behind you. You were even cuter in person, just his fucking luck. How was he expected to act like a normal person when his recent obsession was here looking better than he could have imagined.

“Hi.” What comes out is a grunt, not the smooth word he’d hoped. He can see you eyeing him up, taking in all the thick and corded muscles of his body. It made his chest puff out a little, he worked hard for this physique and to have you so openly looking at him made him happy.

“It’s nice to meet you!” Sticking your hand out, you smiled politely at him.

“Same.” Shaking your hand with a firm grip, Sukuna could feel the difference in your palms. Yours was soft and nicely moisturized and he had callouses everywhere and a few cuts and scrapes.

Opening the door for you, Sukuna led you to the studio space he’d rented out. It was a clean and modern kitchen, not unlike his own, but it had appliances and looked actually lived in. Helping you set up a few camera angles, Sukuna felt a pang of nerves hit him in the stomach.

“Sukuna, can we take a picture together?” You asked before starting, and Sukunas brow furrowed deeply. Why would you want to take a picture with him? His expression must have scared you, because you quickly backtracked. “F-for promo for this video, on Instagram and stuff!”

“Sure.” God, did he feel bad or what. He shouldn’t have made that face at you, now you wouldn’t look him in the eye. Crouching down to get the right angle for you, Sukuna watched you pick a cute animal filter.

“Just do what I do.” Throwing up a peace sign, you cutely tilted your head from side to side and smiled. Sukuna tried to do the same but he looked awkward, and most of all he was blushing pretty bad.

You snapped a multitude of pictures, some at different angles and some with different filters, and in all of them Sukuna was blushing at least a little. He managed to smile more as it went on, even laughing at one of the filters.

“Thanks! I’m going to post these really quick and then we can get started!” Giving him a brief smile, you turned back to your phone and set about editing some of the pictures. Looking over your shoulder, Sukuna could see that he looked like a blushing high schooler meeting their idol for the first time and not a grown man.

Once the photos were posted and you tagged him in everything, it was time to start. Setting up your marks on the floor, you took a generous drink of water and cleared your throat.

“Are you ready for the intro? I’ll start it and introduce you, okay?” You’d actually prepared a script for yourself, and showed Sukuna as well.

“Okay.” Stepping in front of the camera, Sukuna bristled at feeling you so close to him. Your arm brushed his casually as you were fixing your shirt, and Sukuna was glad he’d worn his most expensive cologne for this.

“Hi everyone, welcome to today's video! As you know, I’m (Y/N), and today we have a special guest today!” Throwing your arms in the air, you motioned to Sukuna.

“Hi.” He nodded, barely cracking a smile. He could feel you looking at him like you wanted to say something, but he didn’t look.

“So, many people have been asking for us to do a collaboration and it’s finally here!” Clapping your hands lightly, you rocked on your heels and nudged his shoulder with yours. “Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?”

“Uh-” The playful nudge you’d given him was enough to make Sukuna short circuit. “I-I-” He suddenly couldn’t remember how to speak. “Rice?”

“Let’s try that again.” You laughed. “Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?” This time, you didn’t nudge him with your shoulder.

“We’re gonna…” the words were on the tip of his tongue, they wanted to come out and be spoken but he couldn’t do it.

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Nodding reassuringly, you took a deep breath in and out, and Sukuna shakily copied. “One more try?” When he looked at you, Sukuna expected to see a hint of annoyance in your face, but there was none. You were just smiling softly at him, waiting for his answer.

“Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll get it next time.” Stepping away from the camera, Sukuna took a drink of water and cleared his throat. Cracking the bones in his neck, he took a deep breath and came back. “Let’s do it.” No more fucking embarrassments.

“Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?” You asked for the third time, slightly swaying your body side to side this time.

“We’re gonna make katsudon today.” Finally, the words he wanted to say came out.

“That’s right! As you can see, Sukuna is really fit!” You immediately hopped in, giving his arm a brief squeeze. “And he knows how to make a ton of healthy meals!”

“Mhmm.”

“So I asked if he could help teach me, and all of you at home, how to make it!” Smiling at the camera, you waited a few seconds before relaxing and turning it off. “Did you like that? We can refilm it if you want.”

“No, it’s okay.” Running a hand through his hair, he pointed to the bag of rice he’d brought. “Let’s get started on this shit.”

Taking fifteen minutes to film the two of you filling up the rice cooker, when it was over, you set about getting aesthetic shots of the other ingredients. Sukuna tried to seem casual off to the side on his phone, but he was really watching you.

Getting started on chopping the ingredients, Sukuna somehow managed to say the things he was supposed to without stuttering too badly. He was amazed that you could make the things he was doing sound so interesting, your narration as you held the camera and tried to do things yourself was impressive to the man that barely knew anything about cameras.

“Sukuna, I need help cutting the meat.” You whined, tapping the meat on the cutting board with a knife. “I don’t remember how you showed me.”

“Here.” Without thinking, Sukuan grabbed your hand with the knife in it and moved it for you. “You just have to move your wrist more, it’s not that hard.” Doing it a few times, when Sukuna felt your chest expand with air against his, that’s when he realized how close the two of you were. “S-sorry.” Immediately jumping back, he stared at the floor.

“Thanks!” Giving him a smile, you kept at it.

“I’ll fry the meat.” Stepping in as soon as you were done, Sukuna already had the hot oil ready. He was eager to cook and do something with his hands instead of - what he felt like - was awkwardly watching you off to the side.

“Okay!” Grabbing the camera, you focused on the pan. “You’re really good at this, Sukuna!”

“T-thanks.” Staring directly at the pan, Sukuna didn’t look away. Even with the hot oil popping up from the pan a few times and burning his fingers, he didn’t flinch at all.

“Ow!” But you did. Your hand had gotten too close, and when Sukuna flipped the meat, some of the oil had gotten on your hand.

“Shit.” Abandoning the pan, Sukuna was ready to drag you over to the sink for some cool water.

“I-it’s okay, it was only a little.” Shaking your stinging hand, you point to the food. “But I think the meat might burn.”

“Shit!”

Narrowly avoiding disaster with the meat, when it came time to cook the eggs, you made a joke about how you liked your eggs in the morning and Sukuna burnt them almost immediately. While not an overtly sexual comment, the implications of the words still affected him.

Somehow, he managed to make the dish come together and while his plated dish didn’t come out the best, yours looked at least halfway decent with overcooked meat and burnt eggs. The only things not messed up were the rice and vegetables, and even then Sukuna was surprised.

“We did it everyone, we made katsudon!” Holding up the bowls, you smiled big and nudged Sukunas shoulder again. “You saw we had a few mishaps along the way, but that’s okay, that’s what made it fun.”

“Yeah, it was fun.” Sukuna chuckled. Despite him being more nervous than he’d ever thought possible, he had fun cooking alongside you.

“Sukuna, will you try mine? I made it super pretty and everything.” Holding your dish up to him, Sukuna wasn’t expecting you to do that. Now he felt bad that his looked so ugly and like a teenaged boy made it; he almost said no.

Eating yours though, somehow it tasted better than he was expecting. It must have been how you prepared it, and the fact that you cared so much about the presentation. Eating it in silence, he let you eat in peace as well for a few minutes and compliment the food to the camera.

“Alright, that’s the end of the video!” Putting your bowl down, you turned to Sukuna. “I had so much fun today, thanks for filming this with me.” Now was his chance to make everything better. Putting his bowl down and bolstering himself with confidence, Sukuna threw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you close to him.

“Thank you (Y/N), I really did enjoy today. I hope we can film again soon!” He squeezed your shoulder and smiled really big at not only you but the camera as well. He knew he was blushing, he knew that even the tip of his nose was a nice rosy shade, but he didn’t care. If people teased him for it, then so be it. But he wanted you to know how he truly felt.

“R-really? You want to?” You asked, looking up at Sukuna from your place smooshed against his body.

“Really.”

“Aww, well you heard it here first everyone! Sukuna wants to shoot another video with me!” Clapping your hands a few times, you waved at the camera. “Okay, bye everyone!”

“Bye.” Sukuna waved too, waiting a few seconds before letting you go and turning off the camera.

“Sukuna, did you really mean it? You want to film another video with me?” You were in utter disbelief. All this time, he’d just seemed very standoffish, if not a little awkward around you. You were happy to film this video with him, he had way more followers than you and it would help boost both your channels, and to hear him say that just made it even better.

“Yeah, I was serious.” Sukuna spoke around stuffing his mouth with the food he still had left. He was more hungry than he thought, the nerves doing a good job of twisting his stomach during the video. Now that it’s over, he can finally relax.

“That makes me really happy.” Eating the rest of your food as well, you leant against the counter. “This is gonna sound kind of mean, but I was really scared to film with you today. I thought you were going to be really mean.”

“Shit, you did?” He grimaced, letting out a sigh. “Sorry I had you worried.” He could already imagine the comments you would get from his fans.

“It’s okay! You’re actually way nicer in person, I was surprised!”

“That’s good.”

“And you’re really buff, you have muscles in places I didn’t even know were possible!” You laughed bashfully at that comment, and avoided looking at him when he stared at you in shock. “I couldn’t help but notice…”

Were you checking him out? Had you been checking him out this whole time and he didn’t even realize? He had seen you eyeing him up when you first met, but were you looking at him like that at other times as well? Now he’d really have to watch your video to see if it was true.

“Thanks, it’s my job.” Could he have said that any lamer? “My job outside of all this, I mean. I’m a trainer at this fancy gym downtown.”

“Oh, I’ve seen some of your videos at your gym! I know which one you’re talking about.”

“You do? You’ve seen my videos?” If he wasn’t surprised before, he was now.

“Yeah, you know I had to do a little research beforehand.” You nodded, beginning to clean up the dishes around you. “And I know you’ve already watched almost all of my videos, so it only seemed fair.”

Did you have to bring that up? Now Sukuna was embarrassed again.

“Y-yeah, I did.” Clearing his throat, Sukuna helped gather the dishes. He took up washing them, another task he could do to get his mind off you. As you took down the camera equipment, he nearly broke several dishes and utensils from scrubbing too hard.

“I’ll call you an Uber.” He said when all was said and done and you were back at the front of the building.

“You don’t have to, it’s okay.”

“No, I want to.” Quickly calling you a ride, Sukuna fiddled with his phone a little more. “Uh, could I- could I-” His voice kept leaving him, and he had to cough a few times. “Can I get your number? I really liked your camera shit and I want to improve mine.” Okay, it wasn’t a total lie. He did like your setup and wanted to make his just as good, but he really wanted your number to potentially talk to you more about things outside of Youtube.

“Sure! Go ahead and type it in.” You were quick to give him your phone, a cute pink phone case on the back of it. Typing it in, he can’t help but notice the little devil emoji you add by his name. He wants to ask, but your ride is already pulling up.

“Bye!” Setting all your camera gear inside the car, you turn and wave goodbye.

“See ya.” Just as you’re about to close the car door, Sukuna gets a burst of confidence. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay!” And off you go. Sukuna watches the car drive off until he can’t see it anymore. He takes his time getting to his own place, eagerly awaiting your message with every step. But even when you do message him, all he can do is send a thumbs up back and nothing else.

It’s about two and a half days after that that you text him again, letting him know you’re done editing and that you’re going to post the video soon. It wasn’t a very long video to begin with, so the editing was simple enough. Sukuna replied with what appeared to be a lackluster ‘can’t wait’, but on the inside he was shaking. He’d already screenshot all the pictures the two of you took together and added them to a folder.

“Here we go.” As soon as the video went live, Sukuna watched it. He was mortified as soon as it started at the blush so evident on his cheeks, and how it stayed throughout the whole thing. He groaned at the part where he helped you cut up the meat, he almost wishes you’d cut it out. Every little detail that made him embarrassed was there, every little nuance of his actions you’d managed to capture and make it cute.

(Y/N): How do you like it??

You texted him after twenty minutes, eager to hear his thoughts.

(Sukuna): it’s good, good editing and stuff

(Y/N): yay! I’m going to read comments in a few hours, you should too! I bet people will be really shocked!

(Sukuna): yeah no doubt

Oh, he was definitely going to read the comments. Whereas you were going to wait for a fair few to come in before commenting, Sukuna frequently refreshed the page and read the new ones as they came in. You were right, a lot of people were surprised, but he also saw a lot of his fans as well.

‘Ew Sukuna really cooked for that bitch? They can’t do it themselves?’

‘Yeah, why do they have to rely on him? Useless as fuck lol’

‘Sukuna only did this to get laid, (Y/N) looks like an easy fuck’

All of those comments, and many more, made his blood boil. Usually, he wouldn’t care at all about the comments, letting them fester in his comment section and spiral out of control. But for you, it was different.

‘Fuck off and die you pieces of shit. Leave (Y/N) alone or say it to my fucking face’

Sukuna sent that message, along with a variety of other threats, to all the people that insulted you. He didn’t care that this wasn’t his channel and that you would deal with it in whatever way you wanted to. He needed to defend you against the unwanted audience he’d brought you.

Luckily, after seeing Sukunas messages, all of his fans backed off. They knew how serious he was about his threats and there were many rumors that he actually did go and beat people up who said things he didn’t like. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of his torment.

With Sukunas name attached to the video and his heavy presence in the comment section, the video easily went viral. It was easily the most viewed video on your channel, getting on the trending pages of several different platforms.

(Sukuna): hey

It’s nearly a week after the first video that Sukuna messages you, and the hype is still going strong, and your follower count grows greatly from it.

(Y/N): hi! What’s up?

(Sukuna): do you want to film a video for my channel now? We can play a game, I have a few

(Y/N): sure that sounds fun!

Oh how wrong you were. The game Sukuna chose was a scary game, a shooter game with scary zombies and a lot of possible jumpscares. He doesn’t tell you either, so on the night of filming - he insisted on it being nighttime to get the full scary effect - you were caught off guard.

“I don’t know about this.” You whined once you saw the title. The two of you were video calling alongside playing the game together, and Sukuna’s eyes flicked to your figure on the screen.

“It’ll be okay, I’ll carry you, don’t worry.” He had started filming as soon as he’d set up the game, and you were filming yourself as well for him.

“You promise it won’t be too scary?”

“If it’s too scary just close your eyes and I’ll protect you.” Smiling softly at you, he started up the game. The beginning was fine, just a quick introduction to the game, but as soon as things started to get moving, you were scared.

“Sukuna a zombie is eating me!” You screamed, frantically pushing buttons in an attempt to get it off.

“It’s okay!” He quickly got rid of it, and made sure to stay close to your character as the story progressed.

“(Y/N) stay by me, there’s about to be a whole lot of them.”

“Close your eyes there’s about to be a jump scare here.”

“Don’t worry about getting that item, I’ll grab it for you!”

Sukuna nearly forgot he was being filmed, saying sweet things to you to help encourage you and make sure you weren’t overwhelmed. There were many parts where you screamed in fright and Sukuna was there to coo at you and tell you it was okay. He made sure that your character never died, making sure to keep you close until the end of the game.

“Sukuna, that was so hard!” Squishing your cheeks in your hands, you looked at him through your phone.

“It was fun though, wasn’t it? I had fun with you.” Completely abandoning the game, he stared down at his phone with a soft smile on his face.

“Yeah, when there weren’t so many zombies.” You stuck your tongue out at him, and it made him laugh. Leaning his head into his hand, Sukuna grinned when you yawned.

“Aw, are you tired? Better go to sleep soon.” His voice dropped to a lower volume, like you were right next to him.

“I will.” You yawned again and it made Sukuna yawn as well.

“Get off the phone and go to bed, you’re making me tired too.”

“Fine.” Whining out the word, you waved sleepily. “Goodnight Sukuna, I’ll send you the video files in the morning, okay?”

“Night.” Waving back, Sukuna waited until you hung up to turn his stuff off as well.

In the morning, Sukuna was ready to edit. What usually took him a week to edit out of laziness, he took only a day to edit this video with you together. Rewatching the footage, he nearly gagged at seeing how soft his face got when he looked at you, and most of those parts were left in because he couldn’t stand to watch them and fix them.

(Sukuna): videos up

The next day, he messaged you. Once again Sukuna patrolled the comments, swiftly deleting any that said even a hint of a bad thing about you. There was less this time, what with Sukuna adding a warning at the beginning of the video threatening anyone that talked down at you.

This video, like the first, went viral. But for a much different reason. Since Sukuna was emotionally unable to deal with how sappy he was and edit those parts out, everyone got to see how soft he was for you. If the comments weren’t mean, they were screaming about how you and Sukuna must be dating now, because why else would he look at you and talk to you like that?

And much to Sukuna’s dismay, there were also fancam edits of you two together. Any clippable moment of him being sweet on you in the videos you’d made together along with the photos you’d posted on Instagram were edited together and posted on Twitter. You both were tagged in every single one, making sure Sukuna saw all the videos of you and him together. He saved all of them too, delighting in the way you looked with him with all those pretty filters.

By the end of the day, people were trying to put a ship name together for the two of you and he’s seen you repost a few fancams with cute messages of thanks as well. Seeing you receptive to the fans screaming about the two of you made him happy, even if he was still too nervous to text you about anything outside of Youtube.

As more comments came in, people on Twitter were begging him to do a vlog with you. You had quite a few on your channel, going to cafes or filming what your day or week was like. Sukuna had watched them all and was jealous of every single person that appeared alongside you.

(Y/N): hey I’m doing a live on Instagram if you want to join me! I know people really like us together lol it’ll be great for views

(Sukuna): sure

Did you want him to join now? He’d just gotten out of the shower and thrown on a pair of sweats, he wasn’t exactly decent. But he didn’t want to waste time getting ready only for you to end the live.

“Hi Sukuna!” You smiled and waved when he appeared on the screen.

“Hey.” He waved back, not caring about the angle he was holding the camera in. He saw hearts begin to fill up the screen and comments started to fly by, almost all in caps about the fact he was shirtless talking to you.

“Guys, don’t be weird! Who cares that Sukuna is shirtless?” You tried to stop them, but it was clear you were flustered as well. You weren’t looking at him, peeking at him through the screen a few times.

“God you’re all thirsty as fuck.” Sukuna finally looked at himself on the screen. He was shirtless and in bed, hair slightly damp and tousled on his pillow. Reading a few comments, he shot up. “Of course I’m wearing pants, you nasty fuck!” Storming out of bed, he stood in front of the only mirror in his house that wasn’t in the bathroom and turned the camera around. “See, look!”

“Oh.” Gasping softly, you were glad Sukuna didn’t notice you screenshot the live. Clad in only gray sweatpants, Sukuna’s freshly cleaned skin gleamed in the light of his bedroom and every single muscle and edge of his body was on display.

“There, told you I wasn’t fucking naked.” Rolling his eyes, he flopped back down on the bed. None of the comments had gotten any better, all of them talking about how hot he was and how you were so lucky to know him in real life.

“L-let's talk about something else.” You stammered, not showing your face on camera for a few minutes. Sukuna laughed at the comments teasing you for being embarrassed, agreeing with some of them under his breath.

“So, what the fuck are you all doing here?” Sukuna posed the question at the chat, but at you as well.

“Well before you came everyone was talking about you...and you know how everyone has been begging for us to vlog?” You started off slowly, peeking an eye at his face.

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to call you to ask how you felt about that?” How he felt? Why did you want to know?

“You couldn’t have texted me that?” That wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to say, but it made you chuckle, so it was okay.

“No! I wanted to ask so everyone could know!”

“I don’t mind it.” If you wanted to vlog with him, he would do it in a heartbeat.

“So…” Worrying your lip, you looked off camera for a few seconds before looking directly at Sukuna. “Would you like to be in a vlog with me, at a cafe? It’s outside the city, kind of far, but we can rent a car or-”

“Yes.” Sukuna interrupted, nodding his head quickly. “I’ll come. We don’t have to rent a car, I’ll drive.”

“Really?” The comments were just as shocked as you were. Sukuna never filmed anywhere but his home and the gym, this would be a monumental occasion.

“Did you want me to say no?”

“No!” You screamed immediately, nearly dropping your phone. “I just- I wasn’t expecting you to say yes!”

“Well I did.” Sukuna bit his lip, running a hand through his hair and flexing his arm. “So I guess it’s a date, huh?” His normal asshole confidence was back now that you were appearing through a screen and not right next to him. A surprised sound came from the back of your throat, and you nearly dropped the phone again.

“Y-yeah! A date!” It felt good to have you flustered for once and not Sukuna. Laughing heartily at you, Sukuna smirked at the comments.

“Was that all you wanted to ask me or was there something more?”

“No, that was it!”

“Alright.” Licking his lip and letting his tongue hang out of his mouth a little, Sukuna watched you bite your lip as well. “Well I’m gonna go, I got stuff to do, but I’ll text you later (Y/N).” Dropping his voice as he said goodbye, Sukuna left the livestream.

“Holy fuck.” As soon as his phone was off, Sukuna let out a breath he’d been holding in. His heart was pounding hard despite how confident he was in his actions. Flirting was nothing new to him, but with you it felt different and like he’d never done it before in his life.

He watched the rest of your livestream while he finished getting ready for bed, laughing at the comments still teasing you about getting flustered with him. The notifications for Twitter were going off as well, and he knew for sure that there were new fancams for him to check out later.

(Y/N): Sukuna!! You’re so embarrassing!

Texting him after your stream, your cheeks were still burning at the memory.

(Sukuna): hey, you said it would be good for views and it was

(Y/N): I know…

(Y/N): did you really mean it, about coming with me?

(Sukuna): of course. If I didn’t want to I would have said no

(Y/N): that’s good lol!

There was a lull in conversation, and Sukuna nearly fell asleep waiting for you to either text him again or for him to figure out what to say next.

(Y/N): so, a date huh? Are you going to bring me flowers?

Now he was awake. He didn’t expect you to bring that up again, and his eyes flew open. Sukuna’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, mind going blank on what to say.

(Y/N): lol just kidding! I know you only said that for the stream! I’ll text you later about the details, I’m about to knock out

(Y/N): goodnight :)

Well shit. Now he definitely wanted it to be a date.

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: I Tried Floating In a Sensory Deprivation Tank For 3 Hours

 Date video was published: 02/17/2020 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 408

A rare Phil leaving-the-house video!

0:00 - nice little teaser at the start

0:05 - his HAIR! god he looks pretty in this video

0:26 - Phil trying new things! also, yes, that building looks insane

0:35 - thanks for clarifying there Phil

0:42 - so many pigeons

0:54 - late but still filming

0:58 - the giant “spon” for his own socks, lol

1:07 - the way Phil pictures and describes things is fascinating

1:15 - found somewhere to set the camera. he looks so excited!

1:20 - Phil seems to have a common concern about being “annoying” around other people

1:38 - I don’t know how relaxing that seems to me

1:44 - and the description is not really helping with that feeling

1:48 - “you could fit like four people in there and have a great time” ...Phil 😳

2:05 - he’s mentioned the naked thing at least 3 times already

2:18 - ooo, yeah, that would not feel good

2:30 - like that he’s talking a little bit about the science and the reasons people use these

2:51 - and with the pee talk again. alrighty then

2:52 - just a shot of his pants on the floor. guess that’s a good way to get the ‘naked’ point across, though I don’t know if I would trust pants I had to put back on on a public floor...

2:54 - having a camera on and filming while naked must have felt so awkward

2:57 - already checking for potential reflections during filming

3:05 - these 2020 videos are peak Phil hilarious annotation editing

3:11 - there are a lot of things to think about for him with filming while naked and having to watch the camera for that, trying to be quiet, holding a phone directly over water, and actually doing the thing

3:18 - “this is so weird” I think that would be my immediate reaction as well

3:38 - the sadness of being too tall for baths

3:46 - he has a lot to say here at the start; less later on

4:10 - where has he managed to balance his phone in there. now he does look relaxed though

4:24 - I will never look at this dropped phone moment the same way again thanks to this short...lots of editing required for this video

4:42 - I would scared

4:55 - I LOVE the editing Phil did with the captions when he has the light off and is just recording his thoughts. peak creative Phil

5:04 - the talking to himself! the water noises and then just “seven” out loud 😂

5:21 - wtf Phil. just getting his unfiltered thoughts here and it’s great

6:08 - the random water sounds and then the “unintelligible noises” what even

6:19 - yeah I do not think waking up in water would be a pleasant experience. panic!

6:37 - "a shape disco” is the perfect description for that

6:42 - I mean...you had to know Phil was going to do this at some point with his general clumsiness. did he wear his contacts in there?!

7:00 - you can tell he was surprised he liked it so much

7:08 - ‘formless blob’ time

7:14 - of course he’s thinking about Mario Kart 😂 when isn’t he, apparently especially when his brain is drifting for some reason

7:27 - now he’s describing the silence as ‘weird’

7:44 - I wonder if he’s gotten a chance to do it again since this...I’m sure he didn’t for a while at least

8:07 - thumbnail posing clips are hilarious every time 😂😂 actually surprised he remembered to do that though. maybe he did it at the start

8:23 - very specific sign there

8:33 - brief hair tutorial there

8:53 - I’m going to have to go make tea now, though I don’t have anything that sounds that good

9:06 - another “dye my hair blond” comment from Phil. I am waiting to see it he mentions it so often!

9:31 - he holds cups very consistently over the years but so strangely

9:44 - he does seem much less jumpy/hyper than in the filming at the start of the video

10:00 - weird animal dreams from Phil

10:30 - I like that! I have never gotten a massage due to that factor so maybe I should try this

10:40 - glad he was honest about the expense too

This is a fantastic video. It feels somehow so different from Phil’s usual content, but is also still extremely Phil? Also, the editing with all the darkness and just voice/text is perfect. I love seeing him get out/explore/try new things. I feel like this is a preview of what we could have had more of from Phil in 2020 if not for *gestures broadly* and that makes me a little sad. 😕

A few days before this is also when they went to the Stranger Things event with Martyn and Cornelia. Phil shared a photo of himself then and the joint selfie later in the year.

[moostaronce]

Uninterested

Request: Hey wassup may I request a Jinsoul x fem reader where the reader was super loving and caring in the relationship but they suddenly saw the "Let me introduce idols" ep 5 where Jinsoul said she likes someone who isn't really interested in her. This makes reader get hurt and act cold towards Jinsoul bc she's scared she'll leave her and Jinsoul gets confused. Angst and fluff please, thank you <3

Pairing: Jinsoul x Fem Reader

A/N I hope this is to your liking!

"Sol!"

You come bounding into your girlfriend's arms the moment you see her and she receives you with even more excitement. The usual ritual that the two of you fall into without fail. The massive hug you share is only matched by the passion in the kisses you share when you get to see each other. She doesn't complain when you come crashing into her full force or when you dote on her 24/7. In fact, Jinsoul surprises herself sometimes with how much she loves being loved by you so hard. Not once has she ever had to question your love for her, because you show it in everything you do.

When you pull back, it's just enough to look into her eyes, chin on her chest, and a smile on your face. The other BBC staff brought the girls a little late so you and the rest of the makeup and hair staff have to move quicker than usual. Luckily for you, there were only 6 out of the twelve girls today. Unfortunately for you that also meant you needed to cover 3 different faces in less time than usual, but you're a pro so it's all good. Today you came up with a plan of action to move quicker, today you were in charge of the unnie line in age order while your colleague covered Heejin, Hyejoo, and Yeojin.

"Hey to you too." Her smile gives you warmth as you completely pull away. Now that your moment was over, you put on your game face and looked around until you spotted Kahei.

"See you later babe, duty calls." You give her a pack on the cheek before making your way to a clearly tired Kahei and gently guiding her to your chair.

"Why are you two so grossly adorable?" Jinsol turns her head to see Hyejoo looking mildly disgusted before Sooyoung puts her in a headlock from behind.

"Oh don't be such a love hater Hyejoo. They're just the right amount of cute." Heejin comments before sitting in the other makeup artist's chair.

"Yeah, don't be like that to your unnie." Jinsol squishes her cheeks when Sooyoung lets her go with a flourish of laughter.

"Seriously though you guys can be a little gross, I think it's cute." Sooyoung comments.

She watches Jinsol look over at you with adoration. In her mind, there was just no reason for you to be so perfect for her. She constantly finds things to love about you like right now. The concentration that takes over your face and the sweet smile she can catch you giving her members while you do your damndest to make them look even better for the cameras, consistently reminds her of how deeply she loves you.

"She has no business being that pretty," Jinsol grumbles under her breath, but Sooyoung definitely hears it. She nudges her friend fondly and just goes off into a different conversation.

Time actually seems to fly by as you finish up Kahei, then Sooyoung. You and your co-worker go pretty much at the same pace so when Jinsol finally sits in your chair, Yeojin sits in hers at the same time. You don't speak to her right away, you just give her a small peck on the lips before you get started. Jinsol looks up at you and pouts, trying to guilt you into another kiss.

"What's the face for?" You stand back, head tilted to the side.

"You call that a kiss?" She reaches for your hips to bring you down on her lap but you gently smack her hands away with a serious expression.

"You'll get kisses after work. Right now I have a job to do so be a good girl and hold still." You turn to start grabbing the products you use for her and Jinsol has to resist the urge to protest because she knows you're right.

The entire time you do her makeup Jinsol's eyes hardly ever leave your face. Periodically, she'll pucker her lips in hopes of you giving in but you don't pay her any mind. She doesn't try to speak because of the look in your eye when she tries to flirt with you while you're working. When you finally finish and start to pack up your things Jinsol stands and pulls you into her arms. You never mind when she wants to display her affection for you, but the moment she tries to lean in you aren't having it.

"Jung Jinsol!" She startles back and loosens her grip on you just enough for you to duck out of her arms and glare at her. She looks at you dumbfounded.

"If you mess up my hard work before you even get on set, I'm not kissing you at all."

Your threat shakes her up just enough to have her sputtering but she doesn't have time to properly respond before they are called in for their interview. They have another event with the full group after this is over so you pack up your bags except for your pouch for touch-ups. For now, you just have to watch backstage with the other staff before it's time to meet up at the next location.

For the most part, you just sat and relaxed. The atmosphere was pretty chill until Jinsol said something that hurt your feelings.

"I think I like people who are not interested in me," Heejin speaks up.

"Oh, that's right!" Jinsol nods along.

"It's a little much when someone expresses interest first." Heejin continues.

"Right." You're a little shocked to see Jinsol nodding and responding in agreeance.

You've never heard her even allude to being overwhelmed by you, yet right now you're overthinking every move you've ever made. Was she just pretending to like you back this whole time? Or if not, will she grow tired of you? You shift uncomfortably in your seat and nonchalantly glance around.

No one else seems to notice your discomfort so you just sit quietly until it's time to go. When the members make their way back, you're all packed up and ready to go. Jinsol comes to you immediately, lips puckered and hands around your waist. When she leans in, all she's gets is your cheek.

Jinsol steps back and looks at you sideways but you're too busy grabbing your things to look at her.

"Baby? What's wrong?" Your girlfriend begins to worry when you don't answer or look at her. Her mind races as you leave for the next location with the other makeup artist.

"Baby?" She practically whimpers at you but you're already out of earshot. She turns around to see the others looking at her concerned. You couldn't really be mad about earlier right? She was only playing around but what else could you possibly be upset with her about?

"Maybe she's just not feeling well?" Yeojin chimes.

"Maybe." Jinsol doesn't know what else to say.

-------------------

When they arrive, you're already working on Chaewon. You're usually in charge of yyxy for ot12 events so Sooyoung and Hyejoo agree to try and figure out what's wrong with you. Jinsol on the other hand can't help the little feeling of jealousy growing inside of her while you giggle quietly with Chaewon. You hadn't even glanced her way when she came in but you looked up and smiled at Sooyoung and Hyejoo.

Deciding she had some time to spare before it was her to have her makeup redone, Jinsol slides up to you and asks what's wrong directly in your ear. You jump in surprise and turn your head only to realize just how close she is to your face. Seconds feel like minutes when you see her looking at your lips, and you almost kiss her. But then you remember your fears from earlier.

"Nothing, I'm fine." With that you turn back to Gowon, leaving Jinsol to pout at your side.

She leaves you alone for the rest of the day and is even more disheartened when Sooyoung and Hyejoo come back with nothing but shrugging shoulders. The hope that you'll be back to normal tomorrow stays with her but a week later and she's still confused. You never want to kiss or cuddle and when she tries you just avoid her. As a matter of fact, it feels like you're avoiding her period and it's making her upset.

It weighs on her mind until she can't take it anymore. She misses you and wants to understand how you're feeling so she calls you with a serious tone in her voice. It's not a request but a demand that you be home when she arrives at your apartment, so you are.

When she crosses the threshold you make no moves of intimacy towards her like you usually do and she huffs with frustration.

"Do you want to break up?" It's not the speech she had practiced and planned, in fact, it breaks her heart to even say. Her voice cracks but it seems to snap you out of whatever you were under.

"What? No!" Panic sets in so deeply, you feel it in your bones.

"Then why are you acting so weird Y/n? You just seem so uninterested lately." She gets worried when she sees the tears building in your eyes and the sniffles you let out.

"But I thought that's what you wanted. You said you like people that aren't interested in you, so I thought you might be getting tired of me."

At first, she's confused. When had she ever said that? It's clear that she said it because you look so sad just thinking about it. Then she thinks back to the first day you began acting differently and things start clicking into place.

"I didn't mean anything by that! I was just agreeing with Heekie because I know that's how she feels." Jinsol begins slowly closing the rather large gap of space you put between you. She moves as calmly as possible to give you time to back up if you want to, but she's really not sure her heart could take that.

"I love you and how you treat me. You have no idea how good it makes me feel when you get excited to see me. I love that you always want to show me love just like I do for you."

As she speaks and walks your head hangs low while tears spill silently down your beautiful face. When she's so close that her feet are right in front of your, Jinsol wraps you in her arms. It takes you a moment to reciprocate but you do. The hug you give back is so tight that it lets your girlfriend know very clearly how much you missed her. You're so warm that it brings tears to her eyes and soon she's crying with you.

"Please don't do this again. I thought you fell out of love with me." Jinsol's words were followed up with a gut-wrenching sobbing sound that made your own tears fall that much faster.

"I won't. I'm sorry baby." You whisper to her.

You continue to hold each other until you have just enough strength to lay down together on your futon. Jinsol is usually the big spoon but it was clear she needed to be held, so that's what you did. Before either of you know it, you're both knocked out. You're only awakened hours later by the call from Loona for Sol to come back to the dorm.

[lin-nin]

Tribulation & Tenderness - Chapter 9

Ship: Main Technoblade x Reader, some Dream x Reader

Plot:  You're a princess in a Kingdom suffering a years long famine. In a   desperate attempt to help your people, you accept one simple offer:   Marriage to the crown prince of a neighboring kingdom. Anything to help your people survive. Surely it can't be too bad, can it?

Chapter List: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Disclaimer:   Cross-posted on Wattpad (discontinued) and Ao3. This is based off of everyone's CHARACTERS. I do not write fanfic based off the actual people.

--

Chapter 9: Tours

< | Previous Chapter

The castle was nothing short if huge, as well as breathtaking. It, truly, made the castle in your own kingdom feel small. Then again, your kingdom was never exactly huge to begin with. Techno's felt as if it would sprawl on for ages. You had no idea how you'd get through this place on your own. Honestly, if it weren't for Techno’s hand gingerly placed upon your back, you would probably have already gotten lost.

You hardly noticed the hand most of the time, only absently aware of the warmth of it. He led you down the hall Wilbur had gone down, first, taking a turn to the right when the hallway branched off. Various paintings lined the walls, some catching your attention long enough to peer at. Whenever you did, Techno would stop and tell you what he knew of the paintings, whether they be portraits of his father following some conquest or battle, or of the sun setting over a ridge that lay somewhere in the kingdom. You couldn’t help but lament how pretty some of the places were. Each time you did, Techno would assure you you would likely get to see each place at some point.

You were eventually led to the kitchens, which were bustling with servants and chefs. That’s where Wilbur had gone to, you found out. The blonde woman beside him must have been the Nihachu he spoke of. You don’t know what you had expected, but it wasn’t exactly a chef. She was talking animatedly, a soft grin on her flour-splattered face. Wilbur had turned to glance at the door way, offering a faint smile your way. Nihachu’s gaze followed and she only dipped her head in a form of bow, hands busy with the ball of dough in front of her.

“Nihachu, she’s our head chef and an old friend of Wilbur’s. You’ll get to properly meet her tomorrow,” Techno informed from beside you. You simply nodded at that, letting him steer you away from the kitchen. The area the both of you were currently in consisted largely of servants quarters and storage rooms of the sorts. Nothing too exciting for you to see, though. That was fine, so long as it made the tour short. 

At the end of the west wing was a door leading outside, into a large courtyard. This one seemed to have been turned into a bit of a training grounds. Curiosity lit up your eyes as you looked at the flattened area of grass with training dummies littering the edge. Techno laughed at the way you stared at it, patting your back a couple of times. “Wilbur, Tommy, and I train there. You’ll be able to soon.” You nodded, fingers running along the hilt of your dagger.

The courtyard opened up into a garden, which you only really glanced at. Your heart ached briefly, thoughts of George flooding your thoughts. You didn’t know when you would be able to walk through the gardens again. Not without thinking of him. The two of you had always gotten into such trouble in the gardens. They felt empty without his laughter ringing through the air, even if it wasn’t the gardens you had grown up in.

Techno led you through to the opposite side of the courtyard, away from the garden. A veranda greeted you, and you stepped up onto it. Of course Techno insisted on holding your hand to help you up, but you were becoming quite used to that. It was a little strange, but not entirely unwelcome. It was sweet.

“This is the ballroom. Where we hold our big celebrations, birthdays and the like. We’ll wind up holding the wedding here as well.” Techno pushed open one of the doors on the veranda, leading the pair of you into a large circular room. It was impressive. Not that you expected less. You wondered what the wedding would be like, briefly. It was hard to imagine it as your own. Everytime you did, your stomach flipped.

"Is there anywhere in here that isn't pretty?" You wondered, awestruck, aloud. It seemed unlikely. Techno laughed again, an occurrence that was becoming more common. Good. The way his laugh differed so vastly from his voice was nice. It made it pleasant.

"Maybe not in appearance, but I assure you that there's unsavory things here." His hand abandoned yours again, a feeling you didn't like still. At the very least he was once more guiding you along with a hand to your back. The exit from the ballroom took the pair of you back to the main room from earlier, emerging from between the stairs. Which presumably meant that all that remained on the main floor was the east wing. Which was exactly where Techno was leading you next.

"This wing is mainly official rooms- the throne room is here, as well as our dining hall. The library sits at the end of the wing," Techno explained as the pair of you walked. You nodded as he did, looking at everything you pass. Some doors he didn’t open, saying they were someone's office or another. There were a few rooms, the ones with mostly closed doors, that he did let you wander in.

When you had arrived at the dining hall, you took in every painting gracing the walls. These seemed more personal. All of them were portraits. You were attracted to one of the larger ones, scrutinizing it in your curiosity.

It depicted the royal family. The current one, at that. Even if the portrait was outdated. The King was sat in his throne, with a woman you could only assume was the Queen beside him. She was pretty, brown hair braided neatly, though you could see a few curls escaping it. That must be where they got the curls from, then. She had the same eyes Wilbur and Techno did. Warm, and kind. They were that brown that was comforting in a way you adored.

In front of the king stood who could only be Wilbur, looking very sullen. It was strange, compared to the warmth he seemed to radiate now. Tommy was in front of him, looking gangly but with a grin on his face that didn't seem to fit that of a royal family portrait. A bandage covered his cheek, a green bandana curled around his neck. He looked carefree, though that wasn't too different from the impression he gave off earlier.

Which meant the last figure, standing in front of the Queen, had to be Techno. It wasn't exactly what you would have expected, though. Instead of the long pink hair he sported now, it was cropped fairly short and blonde. He looked just as sullen as his older brother, but you had a feeling you knew why. His face was marked with a red scar, angling towards his eye. The one he mentioned getting from Wilbur.

"I'd been named crown prince about three days before this picture, this was about five years ago,"  Techno muttered from behind you. You turned back to him, glancing at him, then back to the painting. It was hard to connect that that was him.

"I never pictured you as a blonde." Those were the initial words out of your mouth, out of everything you had thought about. You commented on his hair.

He huffed softly in laughter at that, head shaking. "Did you think my hair was naturally pink? I have an image to uphold as crown prince." Him and his image that he was so obsessed with. You couldn't help the soft giggle that escaped you as you shook your head.

"I wasn't sure what I pictured, but it wasn't blonde. Your mother- The Queen- I haven't met her. Is there a reason?" You finally broached one question that stuck out to you in your mind. She hadn't shown to your kingdom, and you had yet to see her around.

Techno's amused face slowly faded, a frown replacing the smile he had worn. His brows furrowed for a few moments before he sighed. Should you have not asked that? "She'd been sick for a while. She died about half a year after that portrait. We still don't know what it was, it only affected her." He sounded distant as he spoke of his mother, and now you really felt guilty. Especially as he gazed at the painting with a forlorn look.

Without much else thought, you reached out and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. To force his attention back towards you. "Show me more of the castle," You murmured. Trying hard to distract him from what you were sure was an unpleasant memory. He looked down at you for a few moments, before nodding and leading you from the dining hall and the numerous portraits that filled the walls.

He took you through the rest of the east wing, telling you about certain things when he deemed necessary. After the east wing, it was time to go upstairs. This is where several bedrooms were, heading down each wing. Some were for the royal family, others for guests. Some just existed simply as spares, which you noted were the ones Tubbo would possibly be granted.

"This is the room I stay in," Techno broke you from your reverie as he knocked on the wood of the door. Something in your stomach flipped at that. Would you be expected to stay with him? You knew the two of you were getting married, but the nerves always got you. Heat rose to your cheeks at the meer thought. You heard that huff of his as he led you a little further down the hall. It made the heat spread to your ears.

"This one is your room, to stay in and decorate as you please." He leaned around you, pushing the door open carefully. The room was large, a four poster bed settled near a window. The blanket from your mother was folded neatly on it, and you were truly relieved for it. To one side was a fireplace with a couple of chairs in front of it, a door a few feet away. The other side of the room had another door. You assumed one held your clothes, while the other held bathing chambers. Good, you had everything you would need here.

"Thank you," you sighed in relief, smiling up at him. He returned the smile, motioning you into the room.

"It's courtesy. If you need me at any point, you can check my room. If I'm not there, just ask around." You nodded at his words. Good, you could deal with that. Maybe this entire arrangement wouldn’t be all too bad. Next Chapter | >

[mggssocks]

Followed

Not My Gif!

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Content Warnings: None just fluff :)

Summary: Spencer makes an Instagram and stumbles across reader’s page.

Word Count: 1,899 words

A/N: This is Season 10 Spencer with Season 13 looks. Also, instead of it being Kate on the team, i put Emily instead because who doesn’t love the season 3-7 team? Also I might make a part 2 depending on how much this blows up. Honestly i’d be happy if i got one like. Anyways.. hope you enjoy!!!

masterlist // part 2 // part 3

It was 8:00 in the morning. Spencer walked in the doors of the bullpen to the bau. He sat his satchel down and began to settle in for a long day of work. It was pretty early so the team wasn’t in yet. Except for Aaron Hotchner who had gotten in an hour prior to Spencer and been in his office ever since. Apparently others had the same ‘get to work early’ mindset as Spencer. Spencer opened a case file but his attention was quickly whipped away due to the sound of the door opening. He sees Penelope Garcia with all her attention focused on her phone. Spencer quirked his eyebrows when she bumped into a fellow coworker and her attention remained on her phone while quickly mumbling a quick “sorry”. As she passed his desk, Spencer decided it would be the great time to speak. 

“Hey, Garcia.” Her feet came to a stop and her head snapped up at him. 

“Boy wonder! I’m so glad you’re here. I really need someone to talk to because if I don’t I’m going to explode!” She sits in the chair across from his desk. 

“Is everything alright?” He leaned back in his chair. 

“No… no everything is not alright. If anything.. everything is all wrong. Very very wrong. I-“ she takes in a deep breath “I was stalking Kevin’s page because the other day I seen him at the mall with another girl. And while I was 56 weeks down in his page, I accidentally liked a picture.” She explained, in a huff. 

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.” Spencer was even more confused now than before she started. 

“I liked a picture that he posted 56 weeks ago!” Her eyes were wide.

“How is that a bad thing?” His lips pouted as he’d never understand social media. 

“Ugh! Reid, you really need to get with the program and get you an Instagram. That means his picture was old and now he knows that I was looking at his page. You understand now?” She asked. 

“Oh. Yeah I understand. It’s bad that he knows you were looking at his page.” He asked as Prentiss, JJ, and Morgan had walked in. 

“Yes. And now I must go into the bat cave and wait for him to call or text me and ask what me lurking on his page was about.” She whined as she stomped her way to her office. 

“What was that about?” Prentiss asked, setting her bags down on her desk. 

“Uhh- rough morning” Spencer shrugged, still not really understanding the whole social media thing. 

“Hey do you guys have an Instagram?” He asked the three. 

“Yeah but I’m barely on it.” Prentiss answered.

“Same here” says Morgan as he takes a seat at his desk. 

“Yeah but I only get on to post the boys and myself sometimes” answers JJ. 

“What about Hotch and Rossi?” He asked.

“Yup! Rossi likes to post about his expensive wine and cigars. Hotch posts Jack every once in a while and a throwback Thursday.” JJ says. 

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed for what seems to be the 100th time that day. 

“He doesn’t know what that is” Prentiss looks over to JJ.

“It’s something you post like an old picture of yourself every Thursday.” Morgan explains.

“Do you guys do that?” Spencer asked.

“I did last Thursday.” JJ pulls out her phone and opened the app. “This was right after Emily, Penelope, and I caught a guy who was trying to pick up Prentiss by pretending to be an FBI agent a few years ago.” She chuckled showing him a picture. 

Spencer takes her phone in his hand and examines the post. 142 likes. 57 comments. He clicks on her name which takes it to her page. 302 followers. As he scrolls, he sees a picture the team took a while ago and sees a little person profile thing the corner and clicks on it causing other names tagged to each individual team member. Except him. After he examined all of their profiles, he gives JJ back her phone and gets to work like the rest of them. He felt a little left out but he knew it was because of his own decisions and not his team. He liked that they didn’t press him about having a social media because they new he was more old school than anything. And it was ironic because he wastage youngest member of the team with the more old school habits. 

When Spencer got home he decided he wanted the social media app. The idea of being able to share with his friends and only his friends excited him. Being able to post about his favorite things for his friends to see without talking their ears off.

He opened his phone and went to the app store, typing “instagram” into the search bar. He followed the sites instructions as he made his account. Using a snapshot he took of his bookshelf as his profile picture. He sees the option to add the people in his contact list which was only his team, mom, and his mother’s caretaker. But everyone’s profile popped up and he quickly followed each and every one of them. Except for his mom and her caretaker of course. 

Soon enough, he got a follow back from Garcia, Hotch, Rossi, and JJ in that order. Morgan and Prentiss weren’t lying when they said they weren’t on often.

After two weeks, Spencer hasn’t posted anything yet, not knowing what should go on his profile. Morgan and Prentiss ended up following him back and the app ended up adjusting to his interests. Nothing but accounts about interesting facts, books, and doctor who. 

It was Friday night and the team had just got back from a case in Chicago. Spencer opened the door to his apartment and set his satchel down on the couch, exhausted. His mind wonders to get something to eat being that he wonders to get something to eat being that he hasn’t ate since before they caught the unsub. Which was about 5 hours and 7 minutes ago but he still needed to get something into his system. Spencer opened his fridge and sees 3 day old Chinese takeout. He shrugs and pops it into the microwave while looking for a book of his to reread while he eats. After he finishes dinner, he gets on his phone and subconsciously pulls up the app. He clicks onto his explore page to discover something else he likes. While scrolling, he sees a picture of someone reading and clicks on it.

765 likes

Yourfriend’sig whenever people ask me what to give you for your birthday or Christmas, I always tell them to get you a book or something green and it works every single time. Happy Birthday to my best buddy, @yourinstagram !

View all 84 comments

Spencer smiles and clicks the heart button and bookmarks it to look at later.  He liked the picture. Both the picture and caption reminded him a lot of his own love for books and the color green (hence his apartment). 

Once he got out of the shower, he brushed his teeth. He found himself subconsciously scrolling through his instagram bookmarks to find her post. He doesn’t know what it was but something about the picture brought comfort to him. As he brushed his teeth, he clicked on the post once again.This time, he actually clicked on your account. It was a private account with 186 followers. The bio read:

Y/N... bookworm.

Her profile picture consisted of a black cat surrounded by either a bunch of well taken care of plants or artificial ones. His finger hovered over the blue “follow” button. As he bent down to spit his toothpaste out, his thumb accidentally clicked the follow button. But he didn't realize so until he looked down again to see the “follow” button replaced with “requested”. His heart basically drops out of his ass. He quickly clicks the button again, taking back his follow. 

It was now one in the morning, Spencer laid in bed awake staring at his ceiling. Once again, he clicks onto the app. He scrolled down his timeline and saw a picture Penelope posted of one of her new desk animals with the caption “Got her at a thrift shop! Isn’t she cute??”. He saw that Hotch and JJ liked 45 other people. JJ also commented with two red hearts. Spencer likes the post and keeps scrolling. His thoughts wander to the post about the girl again. He’s never thought about a social media post this much since he’s created an account. He wonders what sparked his interest so much about this one. As he makes his way to the post, clicking on her account. Debating if he should follow her. She’s a total stranger. Do the others follow strangers? There’s no way JJ knows 302 people in real life. He mentally shrugs and presses the follow button. Requested. Again.

He swipes out of her account back onto the post now seeing that she commented on it.

yourinstagram thank you, bubs! ily to the moon n back <3333

It was commented thirty six seconds ago. Meaning she’s currently active. Again, Spencer’s heart sinks and he immediately regrets his decision. Going back and unfollowing her. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s a mess. Over a stranger. But he feels like an idiot. Reacting the way that he did just because he saw that she was online. So he goes and follows her.... again.

After clearing out all of his apps, he turns off his phone and lays down trying to get some sleep before work in a few hours. His thoughts wander to her. What she was like. if she was nice or mean. If she was socially awkward or very outgoing. Before his thoughts could get too far into what she was like, he receives a notification from instagram. He opens his phone and clicks on the notification. His heart began to pound when he saw it.

yourinstagram would like to send you a message! 

He clicks on it.

yourinstagram You’ve followed and unfollowed me about 5 times in the past 3 hours. Is there something I can help you with?

Spencer completely forgot that other people got notifications and now he felt like some kind of creep.

spencerreid I’m sorry. I came across your friend’s Instagram post wishing you a happy birthday and i guess i got curious and wanted to follow you if that makes any sense. 

He felt so dumb. 

yourinstagram and following me once wasn’t enough for some reason???

spencerreid Sorry about that. I’m new to this whole social media thing and don’t follow any strangers. You are the first person I’m following that I don’t know in real life. Again, my apologies for the disturbance. I’ll unfollow you’re account If you’re uncomfortable with me. 

yourinstagram i just hope that you’re not one of my raging exes, someone trying to catfish me, or a psychopath lol.

Spencer smiled.

spencerreid Nope. Just me.

She leaves him one read. Spencer’s smile fades when he doesn’t see any three loading dots. She wasn’t texting him back. As he’s about to exit the app, he sees two notifications. 

yourinstagram has accepted your follow request!

yourinstagram has requested to follow you.

********

I hoped you like this!!! If this blows up,i will do another chapter!

[dreamescapeswriting]

The Collaboration ~ OT7 [Request]

WORD COUNT: 2.1K

GENRE: Fluffy, platonic, established friendship,

PAIRING: Platonic ot7 x Fem!Reader

A/N: I hope this is okay for you sweetheart! It’s been a while since I’ve tried to write ot7 so I hope you enjoy this

The friendship that you had with the BTS boys was no secret, it had been public knowledge since the moment you meant them backstage at an award ceremony almost two years ago. One of your stylists had been recording you getting your hair and makeup done when there was a knock at the door and your manager walked in with them. It was hands down one of the best days of your life, even better than the day you signed your contract to become a singer and actress. The whole video consisted of you freaking out a little before finally coming down from the excitement and just talking with them. You'd been an ARMY for years so getting to meet them in person had been so surreal and then getting to call them all your friends was even more surreal to you. 

But the friendship was hugely publicised since you and BTS were both huge artists within the industry which meant a lot of articles were written about you and the boys together. Not all of the articles written about you both had been the nicest, some were and others were a lot worse. Some writing about how you were a nobody until it came to BTS. Some claiming you were dating one of the boys while others claimed that you were dating them all, which would be nearly impossible since you saw them as brothers and they saw you as a sister. Those ones happened to be your favourite to read but mostly because your fans and ARMY would be in the comments defending you or going along with it just to try and troll some people. There had been thousands of edits made to make it look as though you were dating which at first creeped you out and you made a statement about it which lead to less and less being made. It was nice to have that sort of vibe with your fans when they would actually listen to what was going on and what you did and did not like to see.

"The latest articles on us, have you read them?" You questioned Yoongi as you walked into his studio carrying two cups, one with your hot chocolate and another with coffee inside for Yoongi. You'd flown out to Korea for a break from your latest acting gig and decided to visit the boys while you had the chance to see them and actually spend some time together. Most of the boys were still working while you waited for them to go out to lunch with you, 

"What is it?" Yoongi chuckled taking the drink you were holding out for him as you brought up the article on your phone and sat down on the sofa behind you, the articles had begun the moment you touched down in Korea. It was going to take you a minute to be able to translate it all into Korean for him but you did your best, the Korean lessons with Namjoon and Jin were paying off really well.

"According to this one I'm using you guys for your fame, I'm only around you whenever I need to go up in fame points," You let out a small laugh at the thought of it. Were fame points even a thing? You continued to scroll through the website when went to the next one which instantly made you want to scream, Jimin walked into the room ready to tell you that he was ready for lunch when he saw the look on your face. It sent shivers up and down his back and made him feel like he was in trouble with you.

"You've got that murderous look on your face, Yoongi...What did you say?" Jimin questioned looking between you and Yoongi as he tried to figure out what could have been said to make you look this angry at something.

"Nothing...He didn't-" You mumbled as you scrolled through the article that was claiming that both of the fandoms were toxic together when it couldn't be further from the truth. Both fandoms were the sweetest you'd seen, ARMY had been so welcoming to you and your fans as well as vice versa. It honestly felt as though they were more like family members to one another than just random fans. You regularly found them defending one another whenever you went onto your personal Twitter account t update your fandom on things.

"A writer is claiming that our fandoms are the most toxic ones out there..." You mumbled as you brought up your keyboard and began getting ready to type out something on your page, you knew you were supposed to rise above things and if it had been about you you would have done. But since it was about people you scared about you had to take the matter into your own hands, 

@Y/NOfficial: Thank you to all of you that are always trying to be kind and treat everyone nicely. It's refreshing to see all of you act on behalf of me and other people on this app. You're always so kind and caring and I love to see it.

Along with it, you attached a photo of you with the boys from the night you arrived in Korea so that people would know what you were indirectly tweeting about and just like that people were coming to add smirking emojis or to start laughing about what it was you were actually talking about. 

"We should do something..." You muttered as you looked back at Yoongi and Jimin ideas filling your head within seconds. A collabortation between you and the boys had been in talk for a while but neither of your managers had come together to put the plan into action.

"What are you thinking?" Jimin quizzed as he sat himself down next to you looking over at your phone to see what you had just sent out.  

"We've spoken about it, Yoongi and I both have song ideas we've been working on..." Yoongi turned to look at you from his chair as he nodded along to what you were saying instantly knowing what you were talking about. There was a huge folder on his laptop dedicated to the work you'd both been doing together both long-distance and in person.

"I still have it all saved on my laptop if you want to take a look at it all." The statement was directed in Jimin's direction as you both waited for him to say something to it,

"Sure...What have you been working on?" He moved closer to Yoongi to take a look over everything and you smiled. The things you and Yoongi had been putting together were a backing track with some melodies and adlibs you'd both been doing overtime. It was far from being done but it was better than having nothing to go off, all you needed to do was get the okay from both of your managers and the rest of the boys. 

"I've been working on a rap part for Hoseok and Namjoon and Y/n has been writing her own lyrics for her parts," Yoongi mumbled as you grabbed a spare chair to sit down next to him with. Hitting play he let the melody and your rough lyrics fill the air of his small studio.

The collaboration had been amazing, the song was one of your best works in your opinion and the videos were shot and ready to be released at a moments notice. Teasers had been being released all month between your account and the BTS one but neither of the fandoms had put it together that this would be some kind of collaboration. The teasers for the songs had been dramatically different from one another, Yoongi changing the melodies on his and yours just so that nobody would be able to place that they were the same track. Your Twitter had been focussing on releasing your parts in the video with your words and then the boy's parts only being theirs. The fans had no idea but there were a select few that had pieced it together bit by bit and were starting to realise what was happening but no one else seemed to piece it together. 

"It's almost midnight," You said over the call to the boys, all of them were sitting on skype with you as they waited inside Hoseok's studio this time. They were all sitting on the sofa in his room watching the countdown on one of the monitors, the plan was to release the music videos at the same time and wait to see what would happen with the fandoms.

"We've worked so hard for this," Namjoon chuckled as he handed all of the boys a small drink each to celebrate with, you had your own glass of wine to drink while you waited as well. Jungkook cleared his throat as he got up to give a small speech about how much he'd enjoyed working with you.

"You guys worked so great, I don't know how I'll thank you enough." You whispered as you looked at each of them through the screen feeling an overwhelming urge to cry as you thought about how close you'd all grown as a friendship group. This time it was your turn to get a sappy speech but the countdowns began and you smirked looking at the titles, both the same song and video on each channel but the boys had their title while yours was left as. Y/n Y/L/N ???? For a little extra surprise to the fans. Taehyung began counting down from one minute and thirty seconds and the rest of you began to join in with him.

"5...4...3...2...1," The iconic BigHit entertainment logo and intro filled the speakers in your room and you let out a small squeal at the thought of it finally being live after the months of working on it. The boys cheered as the music started and Jin opened up the song for you all walking around their dorms on the screen.  

"I'm going to check Twitter!" You yelled out as you brought out your phone to see all of the different reactions that were coming out from the video. Mostly people freaking out thinking Youtube had crashed and placed both videos onto the channel until your line came up. In the music video, you walked onto the set and began singing through your part of the song as if it was casual. The video idea had been that it was just supposed to be a casual setting at the dorms and you randomly walked through the front door and sat with them while singing. The song was about friendship, which wasn't like a lot of songs any of you had written before but it felt like it needed to be said. That people could be friends or more like family members without having to hate one another or have everyone assume that they were dating. It was mostly a huge slap in the face to all the media outlets claiming that you couldn't be friends with the guys because they were...well guys.

"THE COLLAB OF A LIFETIME!" Someone had tweeted out with your retweet of the music video link, you smirked reading through everything that was on the screen, your whole dash refreshing itself every two seconds. Everyone seemed to be loving the fact that you had decided to finally collaborate with the boys, 

"They love it," You giggled as you sipped on your glass of wine in celebration of the song coming out, cheering along with the boys.

The night continued on as you waited for people to react to it until you decided to go live on Instagram. The boys were all gone now so you wanted to see what everyone was thinking of it now so you set your phone up on your desk and got ready to read through everything.

"I can't wait to see your reaction videos tomorrow, you guys know I watch all of them." You laughed softly as you stared into the small screen of your phone reading through the thousands of comments that were flying through. Play with your hair if this was because of the article about you using the boys for fame. #Y/nandBTSTakeOver You smirked to yourself before playing with the ends of your hair and winking into the camera, going back to answering more questions from your fans and ARMY wanting them to know how the collaboration had come to be and if there would be more work with them in the future.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @rjsmochii​ @bisexualmess007​ @innersooya​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​

[sam-t-a]

Okay. 

*Deep breath* 

I think I’m finally calm enough to put into words exactly why I hated the finale and why I wasn’t completely surprised that I hated it. 

(Heads-up: this is really long and pretty negative. If you disagree, I would of course appreciate your point of view and love to hear it, but just thought I’d let you know in case this is the kind of post you would like to avoid.)

To me, it felt like every character on the show got betrayed in some way or another, but the main ones are Han Seo (devastatingly), Chayoung (obviously) and Han Seok (bear with me). 

Cha Young: 

She started out as a solid FL who annoyed some people for sure, but who had so much promise as someone unconventional and bold. The way her mother’s death affected her and caused a clear shift in her personality was a super interesting plot point that really never got explored. We have no idea how she came to sacrifice her morality in joining Wusang, just that she wanted to spite her father, which is a very superficial exploration. She gets cute idiosyncrasies in lieu of an actual character and an actual character arc. 

We also, halfway through the show, seem to forget that her father's death was the initial trigger. Cha young does not suggest bold ideas or intricate plans, she doesn’t fill the gaps Vincenzo is incapable of filling (because that would require that Vincenzo have flaws, and that’s not something the writers can abide), and she’s literally victimized in episode 19 and bedridden in episode 20, and that is IT. 

Someone who started out supposedly as Vincenzo’s equal just became another piece in his chess set, no matter how important a piece she may be. 

So her role as a badass avenger is trashed. That leaves her role as a love interest. Now, as Vincenzo’s love interest, she was supposed to get kidnapped in like episode 5 or 6 at the most if the villain has any brains whatsoever (Han Seok may or may not, more on that later). We need a reason for that not to happen too early. Cue villain is somehow in love with her for all of 15 minutes or so throughout a 20-episode series because a love triangle is inconceivable with the show’s current structure and for its purposes. 

So, she spends 15 or so episodes making the first move on Vincenzo, every time, putting herself out there, creating cute moments, getting nothing in return, and then he leaves. No confession, nothing much, he wasn’t even going to say goodbye or give her the choice of coming with him. 

I’m sure more chayenzo-oriented fans have already expressed all the necessary outrage over this, so I’ll move on to the part that I’ve personally been way more emotionally invested in from the get go: the Jang brothers. 

Han Seo: 

I was among the minority that  hated the “Vinny hyung” angle from the get-go and I’ve ranted about it in another post, so I won’t get into it here in-depth, but basically it was because I felt like Vincenzo hadn’t earned it, so to have the last words Han Seo hears be “You deserve to be my brother” or whatever the fuck he was on about PISSED ME OFF. It’s VINCENZO who doesn’t deserve to be Han Seo’s brother and hasn’t done a single thing to earn it. He was a good ally. The situation he allowed Han Seo to be a part of was beneficial to him, but Han Seo’s attachment to him was neither healthy nor heartwarming, and it certainly wasn’t returned on the level he offered it.

Vincenzo’s disregard of his death didn’t strike me as odd because I never saw enough indications that this was a two-way street and Han Seo’s safety and well-being came second so often that I didn’t get the impression Vincenzo was doing much to keep him alive. This is what I meant when I said the show was glorifying a torture survivor’s trauma responses. Han Seo himself, as a torture survivor, meant nothing to them. He was just there to create one more contrived comparison between Vincenzo and Han Seok. Instead of recovering from the trauma, it’s simply employed to someone else’s favor. He doesn’t go to prison for Han Seok, he takes a bullet for Vincenzo, and we’re supposed to see that as so much better.

All of that might (JUST MIGHT) not have ruined the show for me if he’d died better. 1) It was narratively pointless and totally avoidable, 2) they could’ve framed it as heroic, but instead Han Seok’s hand patting his head is pushing it down, so he can’t even get shot with his chin up and his back straight, Taec’s already taller, so the angle’s fucked and the whole cinematography screamed “kicking an injured puppy” and most certainly NOT “survivor finally stands up to his abuser”. The final nail in the proverbial and literal coffin is that he is mourned by no one. They’re FLIRTING not 3 MINUTES LATER, it felt so tone deaf and left such a bad taste. As I said, I didn’t expect significant mourning from Vincenzo (gotta say, I didn’t expect no mourning, that was a shocker), and Cha young and the tenants had no real interactions with him and no reason to mourn him, which left only one person who could. 

Which brings me to Han Seok. 

Han Seok started out as a solid villain, clear goals, clear skills that help him achieve his goals and basically make him a villain worth defeating, and a very complex relationship with both his own psychopathy and his brother. 

Let me get it out of the way: I do not believe Han Seok is capable of killing Han Seo because he had every reason and every opportunity to do so in previous episodes and couldn’t do it (I say couldn’t because a certain degree of reluctance is in itself inability). Han Seo’s danger far outweighed his material value the minute he shot Han Seok and then completely lost any value once he came out to the world as the chairman and it became clear that the prosecution would be going after him if anything happened, and not his brother. But time and again, he’s proven he’s all bark and no bite when it comes to Han Seo (killing-wise, specifically). 

The scene where he asks him to beat Vincenzo to death could be interpreted as him wanting to give Vincenzo the “painful death” he would have given him, but honestly, I think he was way past that point. He just wanted him dead in the “You crazy? we have to kill him before he kills us” sense. To that end, killing off a key ally of Vincenzo’s, who betrayed you and almost got you killed a bunch of times, should take priority, but Han Seok’s priority is reclaiming Han Seo by forcing him back onto his side. Now, much like his “love for Cha young”, Han Seok’s keenness on not killing his brother was essential to the writers so that Han Seo can justifiably make it this far and still be useful to Vincenzo (he can’t help if Han Seok completely excludes him from all events, plans and management processes, so Han Seok needs to want to keep him on his side enough not to do that even when it’s more prudent). 

All of this isn’t to say it’s unbelievable that he would kill Han Seo, but it’s DEFINITELY unbelievable that he would stay the same man after killing him. Someone here (I’m sorry, I don’t rememebr who) once said that Han Seo had become, over time, far more of a foil to his brother than Vincenzo was. To me, this means that Post-Han Seo Han Seok would be out of balance (tilted screen), unhinged in a way he never was before. The Han Seok we see shrugs and “oh, well”-s and moves on in a flash, not really any different from the villain he was four minutes and a whole brother earlier. 

This is very consistent with the way the show has been de-humanizing him from the start. I’m not saying this to defend Han Seok in any way, he’s a serial killer, an abuser and a total maniac. But you can be all those things and still a human being. In fact, you can ONLY be those things if you’re a human being. The show used its villain vs villain idea to justify a lot, but in the end, Vincenzo had to be a protagonist. He had to follow up every “I’m a villain” with a contrived “but at least I’m not (insert something worse)”. 

On the level of humans:

1) Vincenzo is supposedly different because he doesn’t hurt children or women (unless the women deserve it, and shooting a parent in front of their kid doesn’t count as hurting.) 

But we never see Han Seok hurting women or children either. In fact, if we proceed with the “chayoung is the myung hee of the good guys” comparison, he hasn’t hurt any women nearly as badly as Vincenzo did. 

2) Babel vs Mafia 

Babel’s corruption is compared a lot to the mafia, with Vincenzo commenting repeatedly that the people are WORSE than the mafia...which is bullshit. Babel is a set of companies that provide goods and services, but use illegal means to maximize their profit, so they hurt/kill people in the process because they want more money and care about money more than ethics. The Mafia is an inherently criminal organization that functions PURELY on the basis of its criminality. Every single dime Vincenzo spends is blood money. None of it is clean. And while we’re on the topic, I find the whole “taking Miri under his wing” thing pretty unreasonable too because he tried to have her killed you guys, I cannot believe we’re just glossing over that. He had everyone who worked on that vault killed, just random fucking construction workers. And he’s not sorry. And the show tells you he shouldn’t be. 

3) Repentance

Han Seok says outright he won’t atone, and while Vincenzo says no such thing out loud he just...doesn’t repent, I guess. He keeps the blood money, he goes back to being a full-time mafia dude doing mafia things. He leaves the same man he arrived. 

So, if on the level of harm inflicted upon humanity, Vincenzo and Han Seok are pretty much equal (and Vincenzo might actually be worse), then why should we root for Vincenzo? 

Well, my friend, that’s where the dehumanization comes in! 

I was initially very excited to see their portrayal of a psychopath because of the very interesting ways in which the informal moral code and official justice system surrounding a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist affect their behavior and their chances of not turning out rotten, and the show looked like it was looking at corruption in general. 

But as the show went on, the villain vs villain thing proved not to be enough, Vincenzo has to be better in some way (or if you’re as obsessed with him as the writers are, then ALL ways), so it became a villain vs monster narrative. Vincenzo isn’t ethical or fair or in any way interested in having a remotely positive impact on society, but at least he’s A HUMAN BEING unlike SOMEBODY. So, the characterization goes to shit, Han Seok becomes a cartoon card-board cut out of a villain and emphasis is put on how pointless his violence is, as opposed to how purposeful Vincenzo’s is. 

This is dangerous on multiple levels (and I promise this is the last point I’m making). 

1) For people in general, dehumanizing abusers/murderers/etc. makes us very liable to forget that you don’t have to be “a monster” to cause harm, and it makes people complacent in their belief that they are “not bad people” since they aren’t total monsters. The Banality of Evil is a thing, and in this series, it goes completely ignored. No one is inherently incapable of good or inherently undeserving of humanity. 

2) For victims of abuse in specific, it’s dangerous to portray abusers (including serial killer and non-serial killer ones) as entirely bad and unlovable, because it poses the dual risk of making victims less likely to acknowledge their abuse if it comes from someone who cares about or loves them on some level because the idea that someone cannot both love and hurt you is so stereotypical. Your abuser can genuinely want you in their lives and need you and, on some level, love you, and IT DOESN’T MATTER if that love doesn’t stop them from hurting you. 

On the other hand, portraying the victims of abuse as capable of flipping an off switch and hating the abuser with no hesitation or second thoughts to the point of unapologetically and cheerfully helping someone kill them and having no mixed feelings about it sends the message that if you CAN’T do that, then are you really abused? Are sure you’re not complicit in your own abuse? Do you even want to get rid of them? 

So this is basically why the way the show ended was so painfully disappointing for me. And the main reason it hit so hard was that it was initially so good and had so much promise. I really expected more.

[antiloreolympus]

8 Anti LO Asks

1. as a mythology buff, i honestly think it was really weird of rachel smythe to take Hecate, a goddess who helped Demeter search for Persephone after she vanished and heard her screams and shared in Persephone and Demeter's joy after reuniting... and then just make her into Hades's like... total bro who plays aggressive matchmaker to h/p to the point of trying to break up Hades's current relationship. but honsestly i refuse to believe rachel smythe did literally any research before making this comic judging by how she depicts the mythology she's taking inspiration from so honestly im not suprised

2. I don’t know if anyone on here has discussed this, but LO very much plays into the idea of “good victim vs bad victim”.

A “good victim” has suffered many things, but despite it they still remain cheerful and happy and pleasant, they do not put others out or lash out at them even if they are triggered, they do not become petty or angry or hold onto negative emotions. They, in essence, “get over it”. Thus, the narrative rewards them: they get many friends, a love internet they’re happy with, and a happy ending. This is what Persephone is. She’s the “good victim”. Despite her many hardships, we know she will not suffer in the end. She will get everything she wants and more. 

Then there is Minthe, the “bad victim”. They too have gone through many hardships, but they’ve become cold, angry at the world, they lash out and have trouble opening up and connecting to others, they even hurt others, themselves victims to the toxic pain they can’t get rid it. They do not and have not “gotten over it”.  Thus, the narrative punishes them, even when they try to better themselves. It’s never good enough. These characters often are lonely, the cast are large do not like them if not outright hate them, and they more often than not end up dead. This is what Minthe is. She is not a pleasant person, she’s a victim of a manipulative older man and a cruel, unjust society and system, and we know how her story ends. It’s in pain, her maiming/possible death framed as a joke and not even a genuine hint of sympathy towards her fate. She was a “bad victim”, she “deserved” what she got.

Now, you only often see this in fandom, since the actual works that deal with victims of trauma and how they react will often try to give more nuance to every shade of victim they may have on cast, but it’s very disturbing to me that Rachel seems to eagerly play into this idea, like she gets joy out of punishing a victim she created and watching them suffer even more at her hands. It’d be one thing if she kept Minthe a shallow, one dimensional character who was just evil for the sake of it, fine, but her showing us her actual complex nature and the very real struggles, trauma, and manipulation she went through, especially at the hands of our supposed “heroes” of the story, just to have her demise framed as a win for Persephone and a joke for the audience to laugh at? That’s highly disturbing to me. It’s one thing for fans to act that way, but the writer themselves? It’s very dark, to say the least. 

3. "I'm invested in working with fairy tales and folklore for my next project" oh no no no oh god please no. Fairy tales have been through enough hot takes and modern "betterments", they really don't need Rachel "Apollo is bad, actually" Smythe to add to it

4. Quick question

Greek Mythology is mostly incest.

So what if someone who is actually good at writing and storytelling and consistent artwork

Kept it in

For example Zeus and  Hera arguing like the married couple they are

And Hera uses older sibling card

With Zeus dumbfounded face

I don't know why but I want it but would it be weird since it's incest

Most fanfics always keep it out. Just keep it in if you want it to be closer than the actual methods you know

Hera is youngest daughter of Cronus and Rhea and older than her brother Zeus, who was also her husband.

I want to do it but like I have no clue how to start a webtoon so you know💀

5. Oh god, Hades not needing therapy because Persephone's "love" is enough? To quote my lord and savior Kennie JD: "not the p*$$¥ being therapy!"

6. uuuuuh sexual trauma warning.?

So I was writing a comment on the "Re: bpd" ask and i had a realization about persephone

She reminds me of how I was about the idea of sex

I'm demisexual and have sexual trauma and the idea of sex excited me but I wasn't able to like, do it. Me and my partner would mess around but because Mctrauma i couldn't do it cuz I hadn't exactly worked through my trauma and i wanted to get through that because i was finally experiencing sexual attraction.

Kinda reminds me of Persephone. The problem is at that point it had been 6-7 years since my trauma occurred and persephone's happened like last month.

Considering how everyone talks about persephone being a self insert i think Rachel has some things to work through

Also made the realization literally as im typing that Rachel's attitude towards asexuality could be because she's demi and doesn't fully understand what that is or means

becuase if you're ignorant enough you can 100% end up describing demisexuality as "being asexual and then like, slowly turning gay."

this ask weirdly personal so fuck it this is gonna be anonymous feel free to delete if it makes u uncomfy 

7. That’s also a part about Hubris Rachel clearly doesn’t get: it was always committed by rich, often people in high authority, NEVER lowly farmers or the poorest of ancient society. They always knew better. Niobe was a queen! Minos was a king! Arachne was the rich, spoiled daughter of a really successful merchant. Sisyphus was a cunning king. The trojan war was kicked off by royal drama. The list goes on and on. You have to notice these things and genuinely study the myths or you become like Rachel, who seems convinced the poorest people would be stupid enough to not only defy their bosses, but the gods themselves? They would be the last people to do such a thing! They don’t have the ingrained sense of entitlement and arrogance like the rich and powerful to even dare act like that towards the gods, as is the case with hubris. Because of this, Rachel ends up creating a narrative that the rich and powerful (literal GODS) are the real victims to those cruel, uppity poor people, going as far as to say in comic they deserve to be slaves for hades’ benefit and they’re wrong for ever hating Persephone for, you know, murdering them because she had a bad day! They should know their place! It’s absolutely insane that she doesn’t actually seem to realize what she’s writing. Unless she does, which is an even bigger issue, and shows a really dark look into how she views the world and society and how it should be run. It’s all a bad look. 

8. Have you seen the "The demon, is here in the room right now?" meme

Welp, that's literally Persephone and her "feeling"

I legit saw that video about a dude faking a mental illnes (and seeing a demon that made him do bad things) after he commited a crime and that was so cringy and I can't stop thinking about Persephone confessing her AOW like that