#but there's also no guarantee I WILL get engagement
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LMAO i love this
Who takes it seriously:
Malleus,
Sebek (mostly the intent and will scold you for planning and also how it's too soon but does keep the plastic ring),
Silver (very serious with the intent, surprised by the spontaneity, suggests waiting until he's knighted),
Kalim (might actually start prepping stuff immediately, he's very excited but also he wants this done proper plus there's a lot to do now and people to tell)
Low-key Riddle goes here as well but it's because he gets flustered but also he still falls back on those rules and blurts out how there are steps to courtship and engagement and marriage. He's happy and takes it but also he's probably going off about rules and traditions
Who gets very flustered, doesn't necessarily take it seriously but definitely gets the affection:
Azul (send help he's living a romance novel and you're sweet with minimal pay out, will return the favor, his usual motivation of "equal payment" kinda falls flat though because of his grand gesture),
Deuce (guy is very flattered and also doesn't know how to return the gesture but you can be guaranteed he's gonna do something sweet back for you),
Idia (he's going to die of fluster and cute, talks about how he's ready and his charisma level isn't high when, very flustered, flaming pink)
Grumbles about it but will still want the ring and will still take it, likely have it on them or somewhere safe:
Jack (grumbles at you, his big tail is wagging so hard it's about to knock over stuff, probably wears it somewhere on him),
Ace (annoyingly smug and won't shut up about it, takes really good care of the plastic ring, genuinely keeps track of it and carries it, will never shut up about it, very happy),
Jamil (he's very flustered but also he is trying not to get too overwhelmed- trying to avoid by you being silly and teasing, grumbles at you to not play around, still takes it though)
Teases/jokes back, is very happy
Leona (he teases you about it while holding his hand out expectantly, unlikely to have it out and about since his dorm gets rough and he does do a lot so he has it hidden away safe),
Vil Schoenheit (gives some quips but ultimately that boils down to him saying he'll show you the way he would give a gift of promise<- he's just saying he's gonna give something back cause he liked it, keeps the ring somewhere he can see it everyday, likely does wear it when he can)
Jade leech (he's so fucking giggly forever afterwards, teases you about the spontaneity, carries it with him everywhere)
Cater diamond (it goes on his phone with his phone accessories, teases you about it, fully plays out several bits about being married but can get easily flustered at times by his own games)
"Yeah, we're married now" will roll with it and is very happy. They're going to act married now, y'all official couples now
Lilia Vanrouge
Floyd Leech
Rook hunt
All of these guys are very very happy with the sentiment, they're also the guys that are most likely to go with the flow and certainly the type to nearly instantly go along with their feelings if they think it's right or worth it. Very happy to accept the plastic ring and go along with it. Assumes y'all are together honestly.
Sam's shop having one of those gumball machines where you can get a cute little plastic ring, Yuu is there with their fave twst boy and immediately gives the little piece of plastic they got to him and states with a serious face-
"Were married now."
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NSFW alphabet no.11 - Maximillian Strauss
Okay, I'll admit, Strauss' brain was hardest to tune into so far, but I think I cracked that egg open~
Dear Regent was requested by a darling @makethemworse <33
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Assuming you are close to Strauss and not just a simple tryst that serves some sort of higher purpose, Strauss will make sure that you are alright afterwards. He’s not a cuddler, so do not expect that, but pampering an exhausted partner is not a lost art to him. So you will be given blood, made comfortable and taken care of before he departs. He’s not the one to stick around for longer than necessary, but Strauss is a gentleman and won’t leave you stranded to fend for yourself.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Strauss’ favorite body part is definitely his hands. You think he wears gloves as a fashion statement? That’s only partially true. He also protects them for the things he can do with them. From using blood magic, to exquisitely pleasuring his partner, the Tremere Regent finds many uses for his hands and fingers, therefore guaranteeing you a truly expert touch. On his partner, he highly appreciates legs. A classic look of them in red heels (clearly his favorite color) is a true weakness to Strauss and the most obvious one to any person who has access to him on the intimate degree.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
In truth, Strauss does not care either way. Whether to come in you or not, he will do as you ask. And he doesn’t have a particular fetish about you swallowing or playing with it. For him it’s just something that happens naturally, and no more worth mentioning than the weather.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
It will take a lot of effort, trust and time to get Strauss to admit that he’s much into blood play. Why such shame? Because he carries himself as above basic kindred “depravities”, citing blood as too precious to waste for activities like sex. However, he’s very much into it. Blood as lube is not just an AO3 tag for him~
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Very experienced because no matter how he presents himself now, an Elder and a Primogen, Strauss had his wild days and learned a lot during them. Showing that experience might be tricky, as mentioned above with his dirty secret, some layers of trust are mandatory to be peeled before he starts revealing just how exactly experienced he is. But once that happens, hold onto your ankles, it’s a ride you won’t ever forget.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Absolutely cowgirl, in bed where he can lie down and watch you bounce on it. It’s not that he’s lazy, not at all. Seeing your body move is one of the greatest pleasures for Strauss and he won’t ever pass the chance to pull you on top of him. Worry not, if you start getting tired he will help you out by holding your hips and fucking you upwards until you are too spent, reached your climax or are good to continue for longer.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Strauss is actually quite funny when he gets to unwind and drop the serious mask for once, so you can expect him to create an easy-going, very relaxed atmosphere when engaging in sexual activities. He’s not the one to mock or ridicule you, but he will comment if you get tired too fast or can’t handle a session. In a playful kind of manner, of course.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Very confidently Strauss does match carpet to the drapes. To put it clearly – he shaves. It’s a habit he picked up long ago and now can’t really go back on it. In life he was never the hairiest man so the nightly task is not too difficult, but he insists on doing it almost religiously. He also showers, perfumes himself and wears clean clothes every night even if he doesn’t really have to. For him – tidiness of one’s person means a certain status among others and he uses anything he can to show his.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
You are his focus when having sex. His research is forgotten, Tremere plights put on hold, Camarilla can definitely wait. Nothing matters but you. While not the biggest romantic, Strauss will still find his way to make you feel appreciated and loved without needing to recite Shakespearean sonnets. Even with small things like attention to your comfort, a word of encouragement or praise, a softer touch where he might suspect you’re hurting. In these small ways the Regent will show you that currently you are truly the only thing on his mind.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
A fan of touching himself, but not more than touching you. However, Strauss got a habit of masturbating during long nights when he was a younger kindred, especially during early studies of clan’s magic when he would spend a lot of time in isolation. He still has the same habit even if he does it less, but Strauss treats it as a way to relax, a pleasant pause during grueling studies and he takes his time to slowly stroke himself. Not exactly edging, but not hurrying to spill himself either, it’s one of the “finer” things that he enjoys without shame or hurry.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Bondage. And that means him being the one bound. Blindfold him, tie his hands, fuck him. While Strauss likes to see you riding him, there’s even more pleasure in suspense of what you will do to him. He does have his preferences, of course, but he’s confident and curious enough to agree to a variety of things and not knowing what you might’ve come up this time is part of the pleasure and excitement.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Tremere Chantry and to be even more specific – main ritual room. While he would deny it to anyone else that he has such desire to “corrupt” the room and the furniture there, that’s part of the reason why he keeps it locked for most of the time. Not only it gives him an extremely private location to have sex in, but also the thrill of combining sex with blood magic is something that gets him going quite easily.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
And speaking of blood magic, Strauss gets turned on not by what you show him or what you say him, but the idea of what he can do to you. Specifically, what magic he can use or even invent to elevate your sessions to the next level. He’s a very skilled Cainite, a powerful one too, so you might get surprised more than once with what he can come up with. Just don’t tell anyone else that Strauss is creating spells just for sex, not a good idea.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He won’t approach a potential sex partner first. If you show interest in him, that’s a good start, but if you wait around until Strauss makes the first step – you will wait until the world ends. And while he does pick up on hints, both subtle and not so much, he still won’t act upon them until you show open interest in him. Which goes same for bedroom for the most part. If you are not the one to suggest something different, he will rely on good old missionary. That’s not to say that he’s not interested per se, Maximillian simply has no time for guessing games and prefers if you communicate clearly. Once he knows that, you can expect him too to start suggesting ideas.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Equally enjoys getting and giving. While you suck him off, Strauss will let you lead and only comment if you do something he does not like, contrary to what he expects from you, wanting you to tell him exactly what you like. In his mind – he’s permitting you some mistakes, while he permits himself none. But, to your relief, you don’t need to instruct him much, because he sure knows what he’s doing when your legs are on his shoulders.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Maximillian is a connoisseur of slow and sensual. Why rush the good thing, right? Especially when his generally busy schedule prevents him from spending as much time as he would like with you. So expect long sessions full of sensuality, touches and experimentation.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Finding quickies unsatisfactory to the highest degree, Strauss will abstain from partaking in them even if you ask him really really nicely. No, the Regent won’t “lower” himself to a quick fuck, finding the act of sex a refined activity that must be done well and with proper attention. So if you’re looking for a quick relief, you better off doing it yourself.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He’s definitely open to experimentation of almost any kind. He will also take dangerous risks, such as involving blood spells, to elevate the experience even further. While there have been some very close calls in the past, Maximillian won’t lie about that and will tell you exactly what such activities and games might entail. To him – fully informed consent is the sexiest thing of all.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Knowing how to preserve his energy and stamina, Strauss won’t run “out of breath” any time soon, but he won’t waste time or effort if his pleasure is not maximized. However, if it is, you are in for a long ride. Several hours not being out of the question and he knows how to take breaks and let you recuperate, but if he’s really having a good time, then there will be several such intense session, sometimes lasting all night.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He owns some, but not too many. Despite that, he wields them like a professional and you won’t be disappointed. Strauss is also completely open to have toys used on him, no matter the kind. It’s all about pleasure and experiencing it fully for him, so he won’t deny a potential exciting avenue. But, obviously, won’t repeat it if the benefits weren’t worth it.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Maximillian is not the teasing kind, but that only means outside of the bedroom. Behind closed doors – he is very much the type. Teasing with words or actions until you’re sweating, begging and shaking is what he strives for and will happily indulge you when he suspects that you’re reaching your limit. Yet every session will test that limit further and further. He will research your body like he would research an ancient spell tome – with full concentration, attention and expertise.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
No matter how loud Strauss is, he will make sure you’re louder. But generally he won’t be too shy to express himself through moans and groans, especially when you’re taking charge of the act. Whether you’re sucking him off, fucking him in his favorite position or simply experimenting on him, you will hear when he likes something and you will hear it clearly.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Very fond of orgies. The more the merrier, but usually these types of affairs are very superficial. He’s there to enjoy himself physically and to experience something new, but no deeper connections are made. If you participate with him, you will notice that Maximillian pays attention mostly to you even if he lets others to experience his body, becoming quite passive. Experimentation, specifically of the sexual nature, is reserved for you alone.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Pretty average in length, but thicker. Definitely pale, quite veiny, the head is smaller than the shaft but very sensitive. Curved fairly noticeably and Strauss works that to his advantage.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Decent sex drive but he doesn’t show any of it unless he finds a partner he truly can be himself with. Which means that he trusts you to a high degree, if not fully and completely. The longer you stay with Maximillian, the more he will begin thinking about spending time with you in a sexual way and the more you will find him yearning for your attention. How long that might take though is hard to say, might be years, might be decades. Persistence, so to speak, is key.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Strauss only rests when necessary and you will often even find him awake during daytime, even though he is extremely sluggish and groggy on those occasions. So you will be the first one to fall into the day-sleep and he may or may not join you in that. Most nights, when you wake up, you won’t find Maximillian by your side, but he will always leave you a note, telling you where to find him.
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thoughts on the current state of pjo fanart and/or how the fandom interacts with art? sorry if this question is so vague HAHAHHAHAHA i mean we've talked a lot about this in the TA server, specifically how a huge chunk of fandom being a community is lost due to fanartists basically just doing their own thing and the audience largely crowding around fanartists that are more or less established already... i also feel that, same as with fic writers, reception (i dont want to use the word 'engagement,' nor am i sure on if it's the right word to use lol) has drastically decreased compared to before, even though the fandom is reasonably large
Oh i have so many thoughts about this. I actually went on a tag rant on my main blog the other day adjacent to this exact topic.
Basically my current theory is the current widespread-fandom "environment" that exists is a result of a combination of two things: 1.) Widespread social media purges of nsfw material leading to large swaths of fandoms moving to different platforms and a loss of old fandom history and means of communicating that culture to the simultaneous large new wave of younger folks coming into fandom for the first time, and 2.) fandom becoming more mainstream and the way "fandom" as a concept was marketed and presented versus fandom practically.
Cause the way fandom was marketed in the mainstream sense was "This is a subculture surrounding a media. It's all about the media. Fanworks exist but they're just a natural part of fandom - they just kind of spawn or spontaneously appear." There's no acknowledgement of the community that is the actual foundation of fandom (and how some fandoms don't even have a source material!), and implies that fanworks are something guaranteed that you can take for granted and only exist for consumption like the source material itself. It's commodification of fandom.
There's also the secondary aspect of that mainstream marketing of fandom which is the sanitization of fandom, particularly painting large swaths of the community as "those icky weird parts of fandom" and something to be ridiculed, rather than an actual foundational aspect - which is where we see a lot of the purity culture in fandom arise (between that attitude being fostered and the dwindling resources to be able to educate new fans across fandoms). And this once again leads me to my usual spiel of encouraging folks to watch The Fandom documentary by Ash Coyote on youtube - particularly from the 1:03:27 timestamp - because learning pan-fandom history is very important especially right now when we're in a fandom climate where we're seeing a lot of these exact topics and talking points coming up again in different spaces. I seriously cannot stress enough how much I need this documentary to be like base-level fandom education, it's so so useful and important to know general pan-fandom history and major experiences of other fandoms.
Aside from all that though, I totally agree that we've seen a lot more of fandoms - particularly Riordanverse fandom - rarely straying away from BNFs who already have an established presence. I again think that's part of how the lack of community in modern fandom spaces makes it difficult for new fanartists and writers and such to get a lot of traction or footholds, because nobody is actually going out and having discussions or sharing work. The BNFs a lot of the time have old fandom presence and that established audience is how their work continues to travel. But also in modern fandom enviornments they're often treated as secondary source material - which is really terrible for them! Because it's such a rude and entitled attitude to have towards fancreators! And it is absolutely worse for fanfic writers I think particularly because of how when the media presents fandom as a whole in the mainstream, fanfiction very often gets the short end of the stick and is mocked, so new fandom folks don't appreciate it as much or even understand how to properly engage with it.
Especially also given how, because new fans are lacking a lot of fandom cultural knowledge that used to be passed on, a lot of them don't know how to navigate fandom sites like Ao3 and the language and structures used (like tagging systems - most new fandom folks are more used to tagging structures like on instagram or tiktok which is to say, completely nonfunctional) and are struggling with that since the resources to learn about it are difficult to find if you aren't already familiar with fandom - which is exactly why i'm working on my riordanverse fandom infrastructure project.
#pjo#riordanverse#fandom infrastructure#fandom#bvckbiter#ask#long post //#i have many thoughts about the state of fandom! and the general state of fanwork so to speak#most of which amounting to: we need emphasis on community again!!!!!#and i know building community is hard and it sucks i know!!!!! its really hard to make a good discord or whatever#(kai yours is great i love the TA server so much)#but thats part of why community is so important because you gotta band together your skillsets!
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Part of me kinda does want to post the fic I'm writing now but mostly I don't want to go through All That again
#All That being my Arcane fic getting no attention or kudos or comments or anything#just... nil#and I know that engagement doesn't make a good or bad fic but it really did make me second-guess myself as a writer#SO much so that I went on a year hiatus and am only just now getting back in#I don't want to do that again#but there's also no guarantee I WILL get engagement#and I have no idea if I've like... recovered enough not to Care about what other people think of my writing
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I think a fairly significant amount of votes here are biased by the fact that books are usually the original version of any given story* and the original version of a story is typically the one with the most complete (and usually best) content. But I'll engage with this question as a hypothetical because the practical answer is "the original"
For my money, a TV series has at least more raw content than a Movie and if it's a full length show, almost certainly more than a typical novel, while still maintaining the depth of the audio-visual element. Additionally, TV shows are basically the only one of these three that never get adapted into the other two, so if it turns out that the TV series was the original, you're screwed for going with the Book or Movie.
*books are free to create and cheap to produce, whereas movies (and TV to some extent) are insanely expensive, so blockbuster producers are terrified of making things without guaranteed audiences (sequels, remakes, adaptations). Also, books thrive on being the most detailed, lengthy, and dense form of media, so cutting one down for a movie adaptation is way easier (and honestly more justifiable) than making shit up to add for a novelisation.
We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.
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No bc ur post about hitting Jordan with the "this you? 🤨" is so real. Like maybe you two are frenemies like you hang out but are academic rivals so as soon as they get a little too bold, you pull up their jitterbean promo lol It def shuts them up but they're secretly into it when ur mean to them
(Sorry for rambling I just really like ur stuff)
They'd never know a minute's peace. Even when they think you're being nice there's teeth to it.
"You look really good today, Li."
Jordan, not trusting you to not be a cunt, "....thanks?"
You, copying their exact cadence and tone during the 'Godolkin Campus Tour with Jordan Li' video, "So much swag!"
"FUCK YOU."
#beehive buzz#bee talks#if they say something a little too fucking good to have a comeback for im just gonna do a dramatic turn world's WORST SMILE#and go 'i'm super inclusive' and it will devastate them every time#i actually do get the ick when they go “JITTER BEAN” and i would copy the exact cadence with which they say it whenever we pass a jitterbea#being mean to them in this specific way actually is going to make them fall in love guaranteed results#jordan clenching their fists so fucking tight: i hate it when she's being fucking funny#jordan li x reader#also thank you so much for reading and engagement!! it's like being in an echo chamber lately it gets boring
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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instagram pisses me off so hard why do i ONLY get engagement from like a few of my followers on there and almost all of them are just my friends liking my shit (still appreciated ofc but damn)
is shadow banning a thing on instagram 😭😭😭 because😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i hate instagram#i love you tumblr#thank you for actually giving me engagement#i honestly only post to insta now in hopes of maybe getting a little more traction#which i guarantee will not happen#seriously it’s so annoying#i used to post exclusively on ig when i was 16 and got at least SOME decent#did something happen in the past two years to just kill engagement even MORE??#tbf ig also doesn’t let you opt out of ai so i might just stop posting there all together bc im sick of if#might just post my bigger pieces on there occasionally and leave everything else here and on bluesky#i’m also on bluesky btw!#this reminds me i should make an intro/pinned post here huh#being an artist#artist struggles
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I've got two family events coming up during term time and I'm trying to decide if the trips are worth the cost by asking if my family is actually going to be attending them and my mum's response was 'I might be able to convince your dad if we know you're going :)' girl I'm not spending nearly £60 just to come down for the weekend only to then find out I'm going by myself
#+Extra#travel tag#one of my cousins has a babyshower coming up in may on a Sunday when i have class on Monday#i already know my mum isnt intending to go to that one and my aunt that lives in between me and them also isnt going so i cant go with them#its the most inconvenient of the two and i have to be home a week after so ive declined that one#but another cousin recently announced an engagement/housing warming party weekend at the end of april#and when my mum told me about it i asked if she was going so i knew whether or not to look into tickets#and she hit me with the 'might go if you do :)' girl im not risking £60 on a maybe especially cus getting there will be a nightmare#its not all the way down south with the rest of my family so its technically closer but if im travelling there i need to know#whether to come early and go all the way home so i can arrive with my family on the day or travel down the day of & get there a little late#in the day in the city where its happening and figure out how to get to the event by myself and sort out getting ready and everything#or like to not bother what so ever and theres no guarantee which day theyll go cus its both Saturday and/or Sunday#ideally id only go Saturday cus i got class first thing monday but i also dont wanna be there by myself#im not close with my cousins and my dad doesnt get along with my mums side of the family so its highly likely id be there by myself#which i absolutely do not want especially if im getting there late cus of relying on public transport#edit: itll cost between £50-£120 to travel o.o depending on how i travel#if i get the train the whole way cus its quicker and times are more convenient itll cost £120 for a return for a 3 hour trip#or i could spend £40ish to get there by train then £10 on an overnight coach back#which is cheaper than the £60ish it would cost to get coaches both ways and the travel times for coaches were ridiculous#but jesus christ 🤦♀️
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so joever my roommate having basically no standards on taking care of our shared living space. also so joever my roommate being exceptionally lazy and refusing to do anything. she can actually be so unkind and straight up rude because she expects her friends to do basically EVERYTHING. her friend was visiting from home and she was the WORST host. this is the end result of upperupperupperupper-middle class only child helicopter parent nepo baby has a maid childhood and i don't know why i thought She was the only exception
#if she uses “it's a college apartment! it's supposed to be messy!” one more time i can't guarantee a peaceful resolution#i have to basically BEG anytime i want her to take any responsibility#but she also gets mean every time i push back against being expected to do everything and i've been getting so fed up with it#i think i'm gonna talk to her about it at the beginning of next semester#i'm too tired and stressed to engage with it this time around.#my biggest fear in having this conversation is that she'll weaponize the fact that she financially supports me in some ways#and that me doing everything is just my end of the bargain#but this isn't what i signed up for when moving in. i'm not a maid or your mother i'm your friend. or i'm supposed to be.
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if tumblr dies im remaking my twitter but tbh itll mostly just be weird porn. after the remake not before
#tumblr is undoubtedly my favorite format. i love being able to tag things and go back to what i catalogued.#i love things i like and i love curation. you can imagine how crazy curating things i like has been for me#i also like being able to post bonkers shit without worrying about making anyone uncomfortable. bro i looooooooove content warnings#but if this shit goes ass up im going to need a place to be weird. and i guess the hell app is my only option.#im pretty sure the only way to guarantee privacy is to be locked and only engage in weird shit so nothing gets tainted#i know ive said forever that im going to be unreachable if this site goes under. and i will be! but if you really really want to follow me#and youre not going to be offput by a near encyclopedic knowledge of h/entai d/oujinshi. i guess we can hang.#tomato talks#man i dont even look at this shit because i like it in that way. i just think its neat
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hi macy :) I read about your personal experience with finding yourself too invested in the gallavich fandom to the point of feeling upset about it and I have to say... that happened to me too. the compulsory need to engage even when there's no good feeling at the end of it, the constantly thinking about it to the detriment of other activities... I don't know if it's maybe because shameless and gallavich deal with heavy topics, or just one of the ways online engagement and hyperfixations can evolve, but I felt so much better once I removed myself from it, able to find joy in numerous other activities, and fandoms too! just wanted to share this - the fact that I had the same experience - and wanted to say I'm glad you're doing better now :)
hello my love! thank you for reaching out! i'm very glad that you were able to find solidarity in what i shared. re: heavy topics - i know that for myself, not being faced with content regarding my own disease on a daily basis has been a nice change of pace for me. i haven't felt as consumed by it since i took a step back. i think sometimes the content we engage with colors our real-world experiences and that was definitely the case for me. i've never been a casual viewer of media or a casual enjoyer of things so it doesn't surprise me that what happened to me, happened. i love having the capacity now to enjoy other things - and hey, i still engage with fandom here and there! i'm loving RWRB content right now (i have just a tiny bit of brain rot regarding those two) along with some jane austen adaptations and other such things! media is beautiful and transformative and i love putting stickers on the scrapbook that is my blog! thank you for your kind words - i'm glad i'm doing better now, too. it feels good. it feels healthy and normal. and i really hope everyone can find a balance if they're feeling off-kilter. also, i love you. did you know that? thank you for popping in 💛 feel free to do it any time you please, i'm always hanging around somewhere!
#i'm really happy that my experience doesn't seem to be this unusual isolated thing and it makes me feel better knowing others like. get it!#i've been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of movies and writing my book and it just feels GOOD#and i guarantee if the gallavich/shameless spark ever reignites for me i would be able to engage in a far healthier and more casual way#it just didn't go that way the first time around#and i'm glad i was able to recognize that and make that distinction and work through it and come out the other side more clear-headed#also i feel like i should say this bc i got a message about it the other day:#i am not speaking negatively about the fandom whatsoever when i share bits and pieces of my experience#i love the fandom. i love the people and the characters and the content and the fics and the art and everything about it#it's just how MY BRAIN decided to handle things#it is not a reflection on anyone or anything else#i don't want anyone to think i'm shit-talking the fandom or shit-talking fandom in general or anything like that bc i promise i'm not#i just had an experience and i felt compelled to share it in case anyone else could relate#and also so i could maybe not feel so alone and isolated in my experience#and it seems like i succeeded which feels really good#i love you fandom i love you anon i love everyone and everything that the gallavich/shameless fandom gave me#i will treasure it forever#always in my heart etc etc etc#macy babbles#anons
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I am a Jew.
I did not know that civilians lived in Palestine until i was probably sixteen. SIXTEEN. You know when I first learned that Palestine existed? Oh, probably when I was three or four, in Hebrew school.
I was literally taught that Palestine is a nation of terrorists. I thought it was basically one giant army base where Hamas planned attacks, rather than a real country with hospitals and cities and schools. Again: I did not know that civilians and everyday non-terrorists lived in Palestine until I was a fucking TEENAGER (and even then, it was despite my synagogue's best efforts, not because they changed the shul curriculum or anything).
I'm not saying this because I'm proud. I am DEEPLY ashamed to have once believed this. It's why I focus my anti-Israel activism around the Jewish community in particular: I do not trust myself around Palestinians because I fear I haven't rooted out my prejudices enough for them to be safe in my company. I'm not sure I ever will.
But you need to know how intense Israeli propaganda is. You need to know WHY so many people can't distinguish between anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism. Israel has spent lots of time and money on its international image. They've spent possibly even MORE time and money to smear Palestine into the mud. Israel relies on the world seeing their colonization as valiant Jews holding steadfast against evil Islamic terrorists. Without their indoctrination, they don't have power.
I hope Palestine rises higher and freer than Netanyahu's worst fucking nightmares.
I was asked why there's a zionist claim that the Palestininian identity is not legitimate. And I think it's important to understand why Palestinians as a whole are seen as a threat by Israel. To understand why it's not about Hamas.
The claim is that the Palestininian identity was made up in order to push us out. Palestinian existence is a threat to the legitimacy of Israel as a country.
I was taught in school that Palestine was empty when we got here. They used a Mark Twain quote. It was a barren land full of swamps and some nomadic people (Beduins) but as soon as we wanted to come here, the awful antisemitic Arabs sent people to settle here before we could to take up the space. I was in school in the settlements though. I was taught the most extreme version of this.
Another version of this is that Palestine was never its own thing, they're just Arabs the same as all Arabs from the surrounding countries. So they could just... scooch over and give us the space, please and thank you. In Israel no one uses the term Palestinian. If I do, people roll their eyes and dismissively go "Arab." An Arab is an Arab. It's a way to strip away their unique identity and blend them in with the rest to say they could always move to Jordan, or Syria, or Lebanon, and it's all the same to them.
It's a way to make Palestinian existence by itself into a malicious plot to deny us a homeland.
Because if Palestinians exist as a distinct group of people, we aren't the only ones with a connection to this land. And you don't create an ethnostate by sharing.
You still hear echoes of this mentality. Why won't all these Muslim countries take the people of Gaza as refugees? That's asking why they won't let Israel make its ethnic cleansing more neat and convenient. Yes, refugees should be taken in and given shelter. But this question shifts responsibility away from Israel. Palestinians shouldn't be forced suffer either ethnic cleansing that leaves them as refugees, or a genocide.
#it's fascinating to see which members of my family are in the process of unlearning their zionism#and which cling to it steadfastly#i guarantee you that almost all Jews who grew up attending a synagogue#are currently working to undo YEARS of propaganda that Israel has firehosed down our throats#i need you to understand that prayer book publishers put prayers for the IDF and the US armed forces in their siddurim#there is one single synagogue in the USA that's explcitly non-zionist.#ONE.#All other non-zionist jews you see are either:#attending a zionist synagogue because they have no alternative#forging a religious community from scratch (not possible in many areas)#or just lack ANY religious community#the URJ (union for reform judaism) is PARTICULARLY henious in its zionism#not even going to get into that bc that's not a post so much as a PhD thesis#the reason why so many people are pro israel is because israel has SO MUCH propaganda#oh and also i have so many feelings about jewish generational trauma being weaponized to enact apartheid on palestine#makes me sick#there's another PhD thesis to be written in how Israeli propaganda engages with the history of Jewish trauma#tag rant#literally could go on about this for DAYS lmao#anyway come chat w me if you're a jew interested in combatting zionist propaganda in jewish communities#or if you're a jew interested in exploring diasporic relationships w the holy land in a nonzionist context#anyway op ur so right#edit for a typo
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coming to terms w the many many different ways i experience alienation …..
#it’s so weird bc i have pretty much always felt different from everyone else#like being trans is pretty much gonna guarantee some degree of it#but im also somewhere on the aroace spectrum#which adds another layer to it#and this isn’t rlly on the same level but i don’t really want to drink or get high#and it’s on some level kinda expected of me to want to do that. to want something i don’t. to be something im not#ik some of this would be solved if i engage in the local queer community or even actually had friends on campus#but it’s so fucking hard to get out there when I’ve been so used to this for years#was talking abt some of this in therapy#then also went to a friend’s party the other day#every time they offered me a drink and i said no i could tell they were disappointed#but I’ve made it clear im not interested#idk maybe im just a buzzkill. but like your fault for inviting me ig#spent like 70% of it listening to shit abt my high school and thinking abt my time there#which wasn’t really great. also didn’t know anyone there#idk i am not cut out for the kind of life expected of me#anyway i think i lost the plot a lil bit but whatever#too many thoughts literally no one to share them with so they get dumped here for you to scroll past
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With the impending implementation of Project 2025, I suspect that AO3 will come under fire as well. And given that it’s a US based organisation, and the US has wedged itself somehow into every possible thing, I would also suspect that this will have global impacts. I cannot be certain of it - I’m certainly not an expert on political things and Trump remains, frankly, unpredictable - but I have personally found it’s more helpful to prepare beforehand than to scramble to keep myself afloat in the midst of a crisis. Knowing how important our favourite stories are to so many of us, here’s what I suggest:
Readers, I recommend you find your favourite stories again. Go all the way back in your bookmarks. Tell the authors you appreciate them, and you love their work. I think we could all use some nice words right now. If you want to keep the story, I recommend downloading it: here’s a guide on how to do so from the AO3 FAQ. I personally have wanted to take up bookbinding for a hot second; I might print off my favourite fics for myself and figure out how to bind them. The OTW also recommends downloading your favourites - see link below.
Authors, I recommend you keep your manuscripts. Download them onto an external flash drive and save them for a rainy day four or so years from now. Even the ones you don’t like are worth keeping - I guarantee you somebody else likes them even if you don’t. (I’m speaking to myself here, too.) Project 2025 has blatantly laid out a ban of pornography, and they will take that to mean whatever they want it to; I suggest you don’t even keep your fics on a Google drive if possible it’s definitely easier to keep them all online, trust me, I know, but so does the government. Corporations do not care about you: they will sell you out to whoever is willing to pay. Remember also to turn off AI scraping wherever possible, or better yet use sites that don’t engage in that behaviour.
For further reading from people more qualified than I, here’s the OTW’s statement on what their plans are so far.
I hope I’m wrong. I honestly would love nothing more. But more importantly, we will get through this. Humanity has told stories and put blorbos in situations for literal millennia. We’ll see the other side of this.
#ao3#archive of our own#ao3 writer#something something by failing to prepare you are preparing to fail blah blah
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but then also who giiiiives a shit. what ended up on screen is what matters. jayvik yaoi cocaine has half the internet in a chokehold right now. it's been trending on tumblr for almost a week straight. every official arcane social media posting the same "because I promised" scene because it's guaranteed to get a fuckton of engagement. as much as this guy wants to whine and try to pull out all the stops to break the momentum, the ball is out of his hands. the court of public opinion has reached its conclusion, and the conclusion is that theyre gay as hell
#jayvik#and on another thought path... no ones ever gonna call up Big LOTR or Marvel HQ and officially Canonize ships like sam/fro or magneto/X#yet that doesn't diminish the effect those relationships had on the people who enjoyed them#our spirk foremothers were enjoying their ship while it would have been illegal to be on television- and did so for decades#who cares about one shitty dude's laundry list of bad takes
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