#but there's also a sense of awe and wonder when the heroine finally gets the chance to explore the castle by her own

[thewitchofwonders]

as i was feeling more motivated, i started reading a gothic novel set in a haunted castle, and i had forgotten how intense situations of imprisonment that heroines usually undergo can be for me. it's not just about feeling dread & terror, but living vicariously through her while there's a sort of projection on my part about how i should behave after long periods of endurance

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 6: Remorse Is the Poison of Life

1. Diana having to run through the dark with nothing but a lantern and quite reasonably tripping. I never really thought about how dark it would actually be out because there’s always light.., somewhere in a modern city. It’s dark but you can usually still see

2. Every time Anne and Diana are separated they end up reunited during some great tragedy and are like “I missed you so much!!” Like yeah that’s great but. Please focus

3. It’s terrifying how easily children could die before modern medicine. They still can die very easily and that’s still terrifying but back then there was no quick fixes or easily accessible help

4. “It’s an old wives tale.” “I might be one but not the other. Evidently one doesn’t have to be either thing to know it.”

5. Anne knowing how to treat croup because all of Mrs. Hammond’s sets of twins had it

6. “I was supposed to be a boy but when I wasn’t, they decided to keep and raise me.” “How extraordinary!”

7. Minnie May almost choking to death on her own phlegm and Anne ultimately saving her because there’s no way the doctor would’ve made it all the way from Soencervale in time

8. “I believe I need a brandy.”

9. It’s really interesting how much of the script comes straight from the book

10. “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are white frosts, aren’t you?”

11. John Blythe’s love for adventure and how Gilbert undoubtedly sees it in Anne

12. Eliza apologizing for how she misjudged Anne

13. “My darling Diana”

14. “I can’t tie myself down to anything so unromantic as dishes at this thrilling moment!”

15. “Even aunt Josephine said she’d like to see you again, and she doesn’t like anyone.”

16. “Shes disinclined to stay home alone since her companion passed away.” “Her companion?” “Her best friend forever and ever.”

17. “Aunt Josephine never married. Neither of them did, they lived with each other their whole lives.” “I’d live with you forever if I could. But I know you’ll leave me the date you get married to some wealthy and handsome gentleman. I hate him already.” “How’s Gilbert?”

18. “It’s very likely Gilbert’s father isn’t going to get well, so it’s more than possible that when Gilbert finally comes back to school… he’ll be an orphan.”

19. The cut from that conversation to John Blythe’s funeral

20. Matthew grabbing Marilla’s arm because he knows how much john meant to her

21. Gilbert watching the snowflakes melt in his hand

22. Marilla’s flashback

23. Young Marilla teasing john

24. Him giving her the same hair ribbon she later gifts to Anne

25. Anne and Gilbert being just like their parents, mirroring their romance and yet achieving the love Marilla and John could never have

26. Anne trying to make Gilbert feel better but making it seem like it’s about her. I often find it hard to articulate my relation to others in a way that does sound like I’m relating and not like I’m making it about me

27. Aunt Josephine on a stroll in the woods

28. Anne’s ranting about her “extensive knowledge of being an orphan”

29. Her calling Gilbert a dumb boy and refusing to think about him

30. “Romance is a pesky business. No sense to be made of it.”

31. “May I enter your humble abode.” About Anne’s run down little shed

32. “I couldn’t be less interested in Gil- that boy!”

33. “Let your ambitions and your aspirations be your guide.” “But I have so many!”

34. “I’ve always wanted to be a bride, but I don’t really expect to be a wife.” “Interesting!” “So you see the conundrum.” “I do. I have the following thoughts to offer. First, you can get married any time in your life, if you choose to do so.” “That’s true-“ “And two, if you choose a career, you can buy a white dress yourself, have it made to order and wear it whenever you want.” “Why didn’t I think of that!? I love that idea! I’m going to be my own woman!” “I’m a proponent for making ones own way in the world.”

35. “If you become a doctor, perhaps you can discover a cure for old age.”

36. Anne calling aunt Josephine her new role model, as well as Marilla and Matthew

37. “I’m going to be the heroine of my own story.”

38. Marilla finding an old letter from John

39. The theme Unrequited Love playing during this scene

40. It’s fascinating when you come to recognize the instrumentals by name, the names actually have a lot of double meanings in relation to the show. Fire in The Town not only plays when there’s an actual fire, but also when Anne’s rumors about prissy set the town ablaze

41. “If the key to a mans heart is through his stomach-“ “Which it is!” “Then, we have to make sure that this is the best shepherds pie that Gilbert has ever had.”

42. Anne wanting a boy to loved for her brain and personality rather than her abilities to keep a home

43. “Don’t you think Gilbert looks even more handsome now that he’s sad?” “I didn’t notice.”

44. I just noticed aunt Josephines mourning clothes, I know she was grieving but I didn’t put two and two together

45. “Take the boy the godforsaken pie before I suffer a mental collapse.”

46. Anne rambling excitedly about Jane Eyre.

47. Anne almost spoiling the book, just like Gertrude used to do

48. Anne suddenly breaking down over death. I’ve done that before, far more frequently in middle school when I realized that we all die someday

49. “It must be awful beyond measure to lose someone that you love deeply. In a split second, a heartbeat, they’re gone forever… and there is nothing you can do to change it or bring them back…”

50. “Anne? You’re crying on the potatoes.”

51. “There’s nothing wrong with saying ‘I’m sorry for your loss’, Ruby. And I’m going to say it because I am.” “You’re just going to make it worse if you say that. His father!! Just died!!!” “That’s what people say when someone dies.” “I don’t want you to upset him.” “He’s already upset because his father just died!”

52. “We hope you like shepherds pie.” “Everyone LIKES shepherds pie 😡. We hope it’s a comfort to you, Gilbert.🥰”

53. Anne telling “but I would make a terrible wife!” And running out.

54. Matthew offering to help Gilbert get his farm back in order

55. Gilbert not wanting to be a farmer but having an entire farm shoved off on him when his only family does, despite being… 14 at most? 15 maybe?

56. Matthew losing all his crops when the Dal Marie sank

57. Billy wanting Gilbert back to control the “ugly orphan” and Gilbert defending Anne

58. “She’s smart, deal with it.”

59. Gilbert telling billy to read a book for once

60. “I’ll give you a tip, okay? I’m not your bud. And if you ever hassle Anne again, you’ll regret it.”

61. “What’s your problem?” “Ask me that again. No, seriously. Go ahead.” “Why you gotta be like that?” “Ask me!” “…what’s your problem?”

62. Gilbert throwing his stuff at billy to preoccupy his hands and THEN punching him straight in his stupid face

63. The boys are fighting!!!! And rolling around in the snow too that’s kind of funny looking

64. Gilbert beating billy in that fight

65. Marilla telling Gilbert about his father

66. All of Gilbert’s siblings died

67. Gilbert’s father taking him to Alberta before he died, where Gilbert was born

68. “You resemble him in many ways.”

69. “He asked you to go?” I’ll always be grateful to him for thinking I’d be brave enough. Obligation… can be a prison.”

70. Anne trying to write a letter to Gilbert apologizing for what she said

71. Anne visiting aunt Josephine for advice and accidentally interrupting her grieving

72. “Emotion is rarely convenient and often intolerable, but I find at the moment that I don’t mind it.”

73. “Grief is the price you pay for live, you see. So it’s alright.”

74. “You and I are not the marrying kind.” “Ah, but I was, in my way. And we had a full and wonderful life together, and I gave no regrets. That’s all you really have to decide Anne, to live a life without regrets.”

75. Anne kissing aunt Josephine on the cheek and running off to live said life

76. No Matthew don’t make that loan deal!!!

77. Anne sprinting to Gilbert’s house bit for the first time of many to come, being too late to reach him.

[blackcatanna]

The Tale of the Demon Arms of Horniness Part 4(?)

Finally, we have arrived at Edo Blossoms! Things should be getting real weird(er) soon so I'm looking forward to that... Honestly, I don't like Iba's route, really... I prefer him when he shows up in other people's routes being a li'l shit... Anyway, we'll see how this goes.

"A selfish, ruthless ex-Captain of the Shinsengumi, Kanryusai Takeda," ENTER BASTARD! :')

"Iba, as a descendant of a famous sword dojo, had a reputation to uphold." Fair enough, makes sense. "Thus," uh-huh... "He became a Fury and fused a Demon's arm to his shoulder" o_e -_- I'm sure... Uh... Actually, no. This logic makes no sense at all, especially when you consider that he is forbidden to engage in human conflict in exchange for his demon powers. Historical Iba didn't let losing an arm stop him (not that I would blame him if it had)!

ANYWAY, Chapter 1: A Horny Spectre Looks: in which maybe Iba and Takeda start to get intrusive horny thoughts about our heroine, maybe not, I don't remember how soon that shit kicks off...

"Huh? Why are you thanking me?" It's a fair question (sorry, Chizuru) "If it were just me handling the house affairs, I'd no doubt lose my mind" Awe! Get you, Chizuru, being useful! We stan! And good for Shimada acknowledging her domestic work... Now I am concerned about how much thankless work she may have done back in Kyoto... What does a page even do? Also, was she paid??? I hope so but I doubt it X_X

"I can't look at you without beaming with pride," new dad alert!

"Neither Nagakura nor Harada could emerge from their funk after suffering serious, devastating trauma from the battle," o_e is "funk" a poorly judged euphemism for ptsd???

"Iba, whom I hadn't seen" *flips table* then why the fuck am I here??

Who the fuck ever even uses this medicine? Players of this game, I mean!

"Iba exalted over the steaming tea cup," XD Bless him...

"has that cretin, Takeda," XD FFS IBA! Poor Takeda :')

Iba clearly knows something bad... WHY DOES NOBODY TELL ME ANYTHING???? REVEAL YOUR SECRETS, SLUT!!! (Omfg, I am turning into Miki X_X)

"Spending time with you is such a luxury," BLEURGGH "That it would be a waste to let my mind wander so easily," >:( JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON! STOP TRYING TO DEFLECT WITH PRETTY WORDS >:(

"I wondered what thoughts plagued Iba's mind..." But I guess we can't just ASK because that would be RUDE and UNLADYLIKE -_-

"A feeling of guilt bubbled in my stomach." Repeat this phrase every few lines until the game ends...

COOL, we're going to Yukimura's home! Thankfully, we already know that Kodo's a creep so he won't ambush us! Hopefully, I am correct in recalling that weird horniness ensues...

"..." "Iba...?" Clearly, there is something wrong with this boi! Maybe look into that?? Omg, is it the horniness?!? I BET IT'S THAT! HERE IT COMES, FINALLY (seriously, who thought that this was a good narrative device??? -_- )

"something told me what Iba was concerned with was far more serious..." It's his boner, Chizuru... I guess that a haunted arm, brain and penis is pretty concerning...

"He furrowed his brow in quiet contemplation." XD If I wrong, I am going to look very stupid but if I'm right, this is hilarious!

"I darted my eyes around the yard, hoping to pin down what might've distracted him," XD Tbf, it must be very distracting having the ghost of some guy who's arm you've nicked constantly whispering horny thoughts at you (or however demon-induced-horniness works...) "but I was too nervous to ask him myself." ... Ngl, for once, this is probably for the best (assuming that I am right. I have played this route once before, of course. I feel like no sane person could predict this shit blindly)

"I felt compelled to comfort him." Well, Chizuru, I can think of an easy way for you to do that...

Ooh! I rlly like this musique! :)

"The melancholy in his eyes felt thicker than the dust around us. It was like I was speaking with a shadow." Chizuru should take up work as a goth poet.

"Did something happen, Iba...?" Ya, somebody chopped off his arm and replaced is with a creepy demon arm that wants him to fuck you... I can certainly forgive you for not predicting that last part... You know what, there are SO MANY THINGS which would make more sense! Sad because disillusioned with Shogun. Sad because realises that all his friends are doomed to die in a futile war in which he cannot participate. Sad because lonely because of constant veneer of perfection which no one has ever seen past. Sad because forever barred from using his carefully honed skills for anything which may benefit humanity. Sad because knows his shogunate friends won't understand why he has to abandon them to their fate. Sad because unwittingly unleashed superpowered Takeda on the world after losing his cool one time. I mean, there's so many things going on in Iba's life right now! All of them more interesting than a horny arm!

"You aren't as responsive as you normally are." -_- Perfect boy is broken so let's poke him, I guess...

"... Forgive me." :( Chizuru should kiss him >:( sad boy needs kiss! >:D

"the shogunate's Chief Vassal and I haven't exactly seen eye to eye." Could it be... Not horny???

Awe, Iba's worried about Hijikata bae and upset with the shogunate officials for mistreating him <3

"they wallow in their vanity." Well, this is a better reason to be withdrawn than because horny. Perhaps I misjudged this game but I am not so sure just yet... -_-

"Hijikata will figure something out" omfg, even my dialogue options are leaving everything up to poor Hiji-mama X_X Seriously, does he have to do fucking everything???

"But that smile is more like it. You're beginning to look like the Iba I remember." ... O_e Is Chizuru using toxic masculinity against Iba? Bad feminist: Yukimura Chizuru! Let him be sad, dammit! >:(

"You know, all of that explains so much..." "Iba shied away from me all of a sudden," Oh no... Is there more? Is this it?

OH FUCK, "To tell you the truth, something else has ensnared me. Something for which you may not be prepared..." OH FFS! I ALMOST LET MY GUARD DOWN BUT HERE IT FUCKING COMES X_X

"Huh? What else is there...?" Well, I can think of a few things but none of them include THIS

"Iba reached for me all of a sudden." X_X There it is. Fucking knew it. Dammit, Iba, your boner killed the nice music!

"And then..." "...!" X_X

"Iba tackled me, pinning me to the floor before I could react, kicking up a cloud of dust that tickled my nose." XD What an image!

Okay, now romantic music is playing but Chizuru looks scared shitless... Honestly, I am on the side of the music here! Chizuru, he is your love interest! Please summon some enthusiasm! He's pretty hot!

"I trembled underneath him." Understandable if horny, not if scared. Why would you suddenly be scared of Iba? Maybe she can sense demonic possession but I call bs... Honestly, I feel like this game just wants her to be all disgustingly pure and virtuous and shit. CHIZURU, WE HAVE READ YOUR EPIC THIRST PASSAGES ABOUT HIJIKATA!!! WE KNOW YOU'RE A THIRSTY BITCH LIKE THE REST OF US!!!

KISS HIM >:D

"his eyes had seemed more ravenous than passionate." Seems fine, KISS HIM!!! >:D

Seriously, how is she not even a little turned on by this? Don't you fancy this man? If not, why the fuck are we even here?!

"As I braced myself for my lips to touch--" XD sexy. Plot twist: Iba's demon arm is totally chill but he tried to kiss her and she wasn't into it and so needed to manufacture an excuse to save face. Takeda's in on it, of course. Because why the fuck not? They're boyfriends now. Makes more sense than whatever this shit is.

ANYWAY, yeah, sorry Iba! Even after all the romancing you did in Kyoto and all your childhood memories, guess she still isn't into you.

"I-It's okay!" -_- not terribly helpful or genuine sounding. Why bother, seriously...

"guilt began to well inside of me," -_- uuuuuuggggghhhhh

"My heart was pounding at a frightening pace," yet, for all the wrong reasons -_-

"Iba, a figure of propriety and class, was the last person I'd ever expect to force himself onto me..." WOAH. That's quite a fucking leap, Chizuru! He made to kiss you, you weren't into it, he did not kiss you! Chill the fuck out! Do any of the other guys ask before kissing you on their routes? I haven't played them all but I know that plenty don't.

HONESTLY, THIS WHOLE THING IS SO STUPID. LET PEOPLE BE HORNY ON THEIR OWN.

I couldn't even enjoy this even if I was into this route because Chizuru is so visibly uncomfortable. Seriously, WHO IS THIS FOR?!? People who like to see a woman uncomfortable in sexual situations because it confirms her "purity"??? I am TROUBLED.

Like, at least let her be into it even if she refuses him due to impropriety or literally any reason she likes!

"What was he planning to do...?" Well, seeing as he could physically have done anything he wanted due to his superior strength, it's safe to assume that he did not intend to assault you! Looks like he wanted to kiss you but you weren't into it so he backed off.

Tbf, I can see how this would be uncomfortable. It's always difficult when someone reveals strong feelings which aren't reciprocated

But I still can't believe I played through the entirety of Iba's fucking Kyoto Winds route only for Chizuru to still not be into him... -_- (is this game trying to slut shame me??? "Only a SLUT kisses after the umpteenth date!" "No no! Only a SLUT even acknowledges that they were ever on a date, even when her friend aggressively points it out!" Like, what are these Victorian values that Chizuru seems to embody... No one is like that! It's an ideal of womanhood which exists only in the minds of Victorian vicars! Or, at least, their sermons...

"I thought it better not to ask." Yeah, this doesn't seem important.

Oh, and bloodlust too... Chizuru really said, "I'll let you drink my blood straight from the source but I won't give you a kiss even though you are my love interest and most important guy in the world to me" XD

"A-All good..." Uh-huh... -_-

"Could this be..." PUNISHMENT FOR DARING TO BE HORNY INSIDE A HAKUOKI GAME??? (Better send some goblins after Saito in that one bloodlust scene of his too)

Wow, somehow, the whiteness of his hair only reinforces how pale his skin is.

Bitch, you know for sure that you are not going to use that fucking medicine. Actually, Chizuru might. She seemingly not that into poor Iba. (Side note: when I wrote "poor", my autofill wanted to add "Takeda" XD poor poor Takeda).

Honestly, I feel like Chizuru has her own horny demon living inside her. Its name is Anna and she mostly ignores me >:( but I can make her let I a drink her blood! Tiny revenge...

One of these days, I'm just going to keep making him endure it and watch him lose his mind but I cba today.

"Come here. Take a drink of my blood." XD Why is this funny to me?

"Sweat dripped down the sides of his contoured cheekbones." BITCH, I SEE YOU!!! DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO KISS THIS FUCKER!!!

Pretty sure that Chizuru's not completely asexual, based on the routes I have played (though that would be valid) but it's hard to tell since she never really gets to say what she wants... I guess that's the problem with being an otome heroine. Right now, she's possessed with the spirit of a horny goblin but maybe I should ask one of my ace friends to try this game and see what they think... Also, I don't think that I am particularly horny! I identify as demisexual... But I do occasionally do things which some may consider scandalous... But I haven't had sex in well over two years and I'm fine with that... Well, they say that sexuality is a spectrum but I think that it has many, many dimensions... Wow, this got completely sidetracked... This game has got me thinking about assumptions to question, which is a whoooole other rabbit hole and so I shall CEASE.

ANYWAY, despite my urges to Chizuru to kiss Iba, I am really not feeling him... I feel like I would have a huge crush on him if I met him irl but his route is so stale, devoid of chemistry and full of bizarre narrative choices that it leaves me completely cold :(

"What you s-suggest... is s-sickening!" Yaaas! That's right, qween! My ideas are always sickening, no?

"I s-simply have no desire to drink y-your blood." Orlly?

"Promise me that y-you won't--urnh--look back at me until I finish..." Ugh, isn't giving you my blood enough for you?

"You mustn't watch me d-defile your precious body with my g-ghoulish needs..." Firs of all, what a fucking sentence. Secondly, Iba, don't be so selfish; maybe she is into that! Thirdly, I am sensing a fucking purity kink here and I am sooooo not into that XD

"he tepidly stuck his tongue out to lick." Omfg, you're doing it now! May as well enjoy it! -_-

"the pleasure I took in soothing his agony was enough of a distraction." I feel like this is a specific kink but I don't have a word to mind...

"I noticed myself blushing, and felt ashamed for having even fantasized about what had happened." NO, GIRL!!! DON'T SLUT SHAME YOURSELF! LET YOURSELF BE HORNY FOR IBA! YEEESSSSS!!! 3:D

"Or, did Iba have feeli--No. Thinking about it could only hurt me," y tho? -_- Of course he has feelings for you! He has stated as much before! Y U SO DENSE (stupid puritanical womanly ideal >:( )

"We'll all be buried by the time we're done waiting for you." XD seems unlikely, giving Yukimura's character but I always appreciate some good Hijikata snark :')

"I barely recognised any of the Shinsengumi men in their new attire." ... Hmm... Seems unlikely...

"Edo was an unsafe place for a young woman," ah yes, fair enough. I am sure that many thugs, ronin, thieves, drunkards, etc. lurk about :) "what with the Fury Corps on the prowl..." ... FFS GUYS!!???? OMFG!!! CAN YOU MAYBE NOT UNLEASH A SQUAD OF BLOODTHIRSTY, UNDEAD SOLDIERS ON THE CITY?!??? My sympathy with Itou only grows the more I play this game... -_-'

"is this your first time visiting Hachiro's place...?" Alas, yes, since Chizuru seemingly does not wish to hook up with him for some reason... Maybe she also thinks that their chemistry is terrible...

Oooh! Iba is a rich kid, of course! Let's see if his HOOSE lives up to Hijikata's implications...

Like most routes, this is making me love Hijikata more than the guy who's route I'm on... I want to stay with bastard mum, not go live in a gilded cage with Hachiro the Horny!

"a huge, lavish mansion." XD of course!

Hijikata is LOVING THIS!

"She's just wondering how she's gonna fit all her stuff inside, is all." Omfg, this is something that my Mum would say to me as a roast because I really do have a fuckload of stuff (gotta commit to that mad gothic wizard aesthetic)

"I was entranced by the sheer size of Iba's estate." Enough to fuck him? All I want to know is whether Iba has style and taste... Someone get Miki! And Kimigiku! Sen too! Miki's the resident fashion bitch, Kiku is fabulous and Sen seems to be smart enough to care about such important things!

"You may not recall him, but Motoyama will be joining us" XD poor Motoyama! Of course I remember him! He was very memorably scared shitless of the Shinsengumi!

Motoyama, why are you such a fucking mess? Do you have a crush on Hijikata or something???

"Sounds like you can relax a little bit." Hm. We'll see..

"your time'll come." Nope. Demon arm!

"She's a troublemaker." XD Only in the most passive sense!

"he sneered coyly" omfg, I need to see this XD

"See how sweet she is, Iba?" I can hear you X_X

MOTOYAMA FFS "This is the ample opportunity to revel in the pleasures of a honeymoon without anyone else to impede on your celebration!" WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS COMING FROM??? TOO LITTLE TOO LATE! The romance was extinguished before the conclusion of the first game, like a candle deprived of oxygen! Where was your aggressive shipping then?!

"HER? As my wife?!" Um, EXQUEEZ ME!

"I'm unfit to serve as a husband at this time!" XD the fuck does that mean? Bitch, you ain't got shit else to do! You're not allowed to interfere in human conflicts... In fact, you're SUPPOSED to be stopping The Evil Egg and Takeda completing world domination but, since you cba, now is the perfect time to learn how to husband! (Do we think Iba knows what a clitoris is? I vote No). But seriously, it'd be nice to see Iba try to be vulnerable with someone for once. Motoyama can give Iba and Chizuru couples' therapy!

"Well, well. It seems both of you are stuck on the 'Woe is me, I'll never be good enough for the other' stage of your relationship, eg?" ... Did the writers just commit seppukku???

"I have to admit, I'm rather jealous..." Awe, Motoyama, maybe take your own advice and admit to Hijikata that you want him to step on you...

"With a gleeful smile, Motoyama pranced out of the room." XD This bitch! I love him! He is such a queen <3 This is what Iba deserves for being a li'l shit in Souma's route...

"Motoyama has a terrible sense of humor." *flashback to him drunkenly climbing a tree to try and reach the Moon* what are you taking about? He's a fucking genius!

"the two of us ate supper together in silence" is this supposed to be romantic tension? To me, it just looks like two people with nothing to say to each other...

"I found it impossible to sleep, as my attention was drawn to the room's extravagant décor," finally, a relatable moment! Mmmm... Pretty things...

"...I wondered if Iba was having any difficulty sleeping." XD Oh, I am sure he was...

"Hope you don't mind but I prepared some breakfast for you. Allow me to arrange the table for you." ... Chizuru deciding to play Motoyama's game, it seems... X_X IF I FORCE MY FOOD, SERVICE AND EVEN MY LITERAL BLOOD ON HIM, WILL HE LOVE ME THEN???

They're fucking married and I hate it.

Iba is a better Not-Husband than Kazama though... That fucking guy...

"allow me to manage all of your minutiae, including the welcoming of guests and post." OMFG STOP. FUCK OFF. STOP FORCING YOURSELF INTO HIS LIFE. I hate this...

HE HAS STAAAFFFFFF!!!

GIRL, YOU ARE NOT HIS WIFE!!!

IBA, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, DO NOT ALLOW THIS! IF YOU WANT A WIFE, WIFE THIS GIRL!

"I'm not sure I could stand to let any other woman cook for me again." Motoyama is trying his best but I feel like I am trapped in a domestic nightmare... This is weird... Chizuru is throwing her WIFEness at Iba like crazy and he's not acting like a husband in return. It's weird. Chizuru, stop. Back off a little, please!

"Say, why don't all of us go out for a drink?" Please?

LETTER OF DOOM (probably, knowing this game)

Nice to see Iba being angry and upset for a change! Let it all out, queen!

Okay, too far... "Iba began swinging his sword wildly," Perhaps if you let your emotions out more frequently in a controlled manner, this kind of outburst wouldn't happen (and Takeda might still be human... And you, too)

"Erm, why are you so upset...?" ... FFS CHIZURU X_X

"The shogunate ruthlessly feeds them to the dogs!" Yeah, this is pretty horrible, ngl. Genuinely curious as to what inspired such loyalty to the Shogunate in particular from the Shinsengumi...

"They sneer upon the Shinsengumi from their ivory towers," :'( Cruel and stupid, truly an unfortunate combination.

"What could I suggest that could substitute a possibly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity ...?" Well, you could send him to interfere with the demons getting involved in the conflict on the opposing side, you could finally go and fuck up Kodo, Takeda and the other furies, you could set about repairing the damage done to Sen's village, get to know the demons better, now that you are part of their world...

I wish Takeda would show up. I miss him...

"you can't just quit now " yeah, he should've quit as soon as he acquired the demon arm, gone and done something useful...

"I am in no way permitted to use my power against any humans." Dumbass, there'll be plenty of furies for you to slice.

"So, that leaves me with few suitable opponents, notably Takeda, Kodo, and... Whatever Fury cohorts they have in their company." Also, Kazama and friends. So maybe get on that asap, yes? Before they kill more people!

Omfg, my cat just coughed up a fucking enormous hairball on my Mum's cream carpet so I am going to call it a night... I'm probably at the end of a chapter but I need to deal with this! FFS PERCY XD Tbf, he is very fluffy.

[soc-characters-as-songs]

The OCs as Jane Austen characters?

everyone is lizzie bennet, remember? lmao

quoted descriptions sourced from the atlantic, barnes and noble, the guardian, and stylist.

and yes, I realize some of these could definitely qualify as hot takes lmao

ivy: fitzwilliam darcy ("I always saw myself as more of a mr. darcy than an elizabeth bennet. we’re both more reserved, and people can mistake our standoffishness for arrogance. but mr. darcy gets the chance to prove what he is really like, and now people often think of him as the ideal romantic hero.")

meredith: marianne dashwood ("marianne is a hopeless, self-indulgent romantic who veers from ecstatic, all-consuming happiness to miserable self-neglect over the unsuitable man she has pinned her hopes on. she is, however, capable of self-improvement and learns invaluable life lessons from her practical and generous older sister, elinor.")

diana: susan vernon ("not all austen’s protagonists are morally sound, well behaved romantics. in her only epistolary novel she presents us with a vicious anti-heroine in the shape of lady susan vernon. a beautiful 30-something widow, she is charming and manipulative towards anyone she can make use of.")

dahlia: isabella thorpe ("in northanger abbey, isabella is one of austen’s funniest characters. she’s a very realistically drawn teenage girl who makes and breaks friends on a whim, is a shallow flirt and loves dancing, shopping and giggling.")

alassie: mary crawford ("in mansfield park, mary crawford is the character all men fall in love with. vivacious, worldly, musical, funny and kind, she is the ultimate femme fatale. even the dull parson edmund bertram falls for her charms, simultaneously attracted and repelled by her particular brand of sexy charisma. she’s a wonderful actress and plays the harp like an angel. she makes the filthiest joke in austen when she makes a pun about sodomy in the navy, concerning rear and vice admirals: “of rears and vices I saw enough. now do not be suspecting me of a pun, I entreat.”")

ramona: anne elliot ("she may be austen’s most hopeful character. without the native strength of emma or lizzy, her quiet character withstands her own youthful mistake to triumph in the end. since most of us blow it to one degree or another in our twenties, anne represents that painful journey to self-knowledge and courage that most of us experience.")

rhea: elinor dashwood ("on the surface, she has it together, she’s in control, she keeps her family together, and she acts like she has no need for romance. but underneath, she is a deeply emotional person. to me, she is jane austen’s most complex and human character. we all exist in layers and are neither sense nor sensibility, but a mixture of both.")

cornelia: elizabeth bennet ("she is smart, witty, charming, and loyal. I have always admired her self-respect: a self-respect that wasn't entirely vain or selfish. the self-respect that would not allow her to marry her intellectually inferior cousin, just to have a home, or save her family. her self-respect that gave her the fortitude to reject darcy's marriage proposal, though, again, it would have secured her future. Her self-respect that gave her the courage to speak her mind among men and women who outranked her socially and economically.")

kaden: emma woodhouse ("emma is rich, pretty, and thinks more of her matchmaking abilities than she should, but she is also a devoted daughter, a loving friend, and above all is someone who is willing to own up to her mistakes and attempt to right them. emma is a heroine you root for as she not only finds love (as any great austen heroine must), but also as she matures from an often inconsiderate girl to a sincere and kind young woman.")

andreia: diana parker ("diana is a homeopathic health fanatic in austen’s final, incomplete novel sanditon, written when she was dying. diana sips herbal and green tea, has anorexic tendencies and distrusts conventional medicine and doctors. she self-medicates with her numerous homemade remedies and is drawn to the other invalids who are staying at the seaside resort. she plans to take a sea bath in a bathing hut on wheels with a mixed-race girl. what a pity that we’re deprived of the chance to see how that would have turned out")

arely: fanny price ("fanny price is also an odd heroine, meek and quiet without any of the strength of her other heroines. she’s also very difficult to read, with a moralistic streak that comes across as quite judgemental. however, like anne elliot, she is very much the outcast of the family and has to endure a fair amount of humiliation from childhood. to see her finally defy her uncle in the gentlest way possible and end up with her childhood love edmund bertram is satisfying."

suzy: catherine morland ("catherine is a dramatic, gothic-novel-loving teen who is desperate for drama and tries to turn her own life into a ghost story, offending and upsetting her friends in the process. throughout my teens I did my best to make my life something in between a fantasy novel and a sofia coppola movie—I can relate. she’s funny, outgoing, and magnificently stupid. but catherine, in her ridiculousness, just wants to make life a fun story. she is the angsty suburban girl who invites you to join her book club with a message written in invisible ink. I would join in a heartbeat.")

samuel: henry tilney ("funny, good-natured, and forgiving, tilney’s even ready to defy his boorish father’s wishes to marry the woman he…loves? this novel lacks the intense romanticism of austen’s later works, but that doesn’t mean henry isn’t a peach.")

bianca: charlotte lucas (sensible and intelligent, does what she has to do for a successful life)

archibald: george knightley ("he is the epitome of kindness, an underestimated heroic quality. he takes care of a vulnerable woman like miss bates, and steps in to dance with lowly harriet smith when he sees that she has been snubbed by the awful mr and mrs elton. he represents the perfect english gentleman and sets himself firmly against french affectation. he refuses to play the conventional hero and talk the language of love: “I cannot make speeches, emma. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” perfect!")

raphael: charles bingley ("this charming, gallant gentleman wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he would let his chilly sisters talk him out of proposing to the woman he loves, in an era when dancing with her all night has already got half the neighborhood writing up the wedding banns. but who doesn’t keep a spot in their heart for bingley, who’s glad to dance with even the homeliest old maids (we’re talking 27-year-old hags here). he may be suggestible, even a touch weak-willed, but he’s also got a heart of gold. (and if he had a bit more spine, he’d top mr. darcy.)

[your-lips-are-very-red]

St. Vincent x Emma Madden Interview

This is the text from the St. Vincent interview that Emma Madden was asked to not use. Since Miss Madden has decided to take it down, I wanted it to be available somewhere online - in case she manages to get all the cached versions taken down, too. 

SOURCE: https://archive.is/wFkLN

About a fortnight ago I was commissioned to interview St. Vincent, an artist I have been inspired by, impressed by, turned on by, compelled by, curious of, in awe of, occasionally suspicious of—for the better half of a decade. I try not to think about other journalists too much, but St. Vincent has developed a reputation for intimidating us. For her last press cycle, she made her interviewers crawl into a pink box; she would play a pre-recorded message on a tape recorder if a question bored or irked her. I found that quite funny—irresistibly imperious—but I considered it an act of degradation rather than an interesting switch of power. I love famous people but I also find them quite silly, like a Schnauzer wearing a bowtie.

  I didn’t know why, but for around two hours after our call ended, I was reeling with nervous energy. I was vocalising it and trying to get to the other side of it, the way I sing songs when I’m walking through a haunted house. I woke up the next morning with a voice message from the editor who assigned this piece. I am fond of this person and I will not name them. MBC, the team in charge of St. Vincent’s publicity (which is helmed by Barbara Charone, who also works for Madonna, and is considered one of the more powerful and intimidating publicists in the industry) had been on the phone to this editor, demanding the piece be pulled. My editor’s words: “They said she’s terrified of this interview coming out.” The publication didn’t have a leg to stand on.

"Terrified"? That word didn't seem to square. I thought I had done a not-so-good job the night before. I ended the call thinking I hadn’t asked the right questions. St. Vincent and I didn’t feel like a good match in conversation (or at least not in this conversational setup set-up, for which I was given thirty minutes, and continual reminders from the person on St. Vincent’s team, who remained on the call with us, that we’d need to wrap up well in time for St. Vincent’s Instagram Live session with Paul McCartney, which directly followed our interview.) St. Vincent tended to interpret my questions in bad faith. I assumed she believed me to be a Bad Reader; presumptuous, judgemental, simple, anti-curious—all qualities that her latest album ‘Daddy’s Home’, which I’ve interpreted as a counter to the folly, inadequacy and meretriciousness of moral purity—counters. Anyway, she read me wrong. I love Lana Del Rey.

  I got a call from MBC later that morning by a man who sounded quite nervous. I told him I was confused, I asked him what the matter seemed to be. He wasn't totally sure, he said, "she found the interview aggressive." Aggressive? I complimented her and cowed to her and laughed at her jokes. "Well, the message has been passed down a line of many messengers, she might not have actually said that." The man on the phone said that this—one of his artists demanding an interview to be pulled—had never happened to him before. It hadn't happened to me either. I felt annoyed by how easy it was for St. Vincent to kill something I had researched and expected money for. But the interview started to seem valuable to me after I was told that she didn't want it out in the world. "Can we draw a line under this and just kill the piece here?" said the man on the phone.

Below is the full transcript of my interview with St. Vincent (save for a short and-forth about Tool which didn’t make sense when turned into text). My questions are in bold, her responses are in italics.

**for the sake of this post, Madden’s questions are bold and Annie’s answers are not** Hi, how are you? Good how’s it going?

Not too bad. What’s your mood for today? My mood for today, well it’s good, I’m getting on an Instagram Live chat with Paul McCartney in a couple minutes so my mood is a little bit nervous but good.

I’m excited to talk about this album, I think it has a sick sense of humor that I appreciate a lot. I’ve had a really fun time listening to it.

Oh I’m glad, thank you.

I’m sensing there’s kind of a 70s trend at the moment in terms of fashion and the ways some other bands are presenting themselves. Is that something you were anticipating, is that something you feel you belong to, or was it just kind of accidental?

Accidental.

Do you feel bummed about that? No I don’t, I always just kind of do my own thing.

Do you think there’s a reason why people might be inspired by the 70s today? Do you see an analog with our world today and with the 70s? I guess this album is based in 1973, right?

Between ‘71 and ‘76, so post flower children idealism, post the Summer of Love hangover, but pre escapism of gay disco and pre nihilism of punk. Life was bad but music was good, kind of vibe.

Kind of when the trash aesthetic was taking hold, especially by Andy Warhol. Does trash inspire you? Um like literal rubbish?

No like the trash aesthetic, I guess in the PR you call it sleazy, grimy. Yeah but the difference with sleazy is that sleazy tries to present as glamorous but there’s something off, trash is just trash. I don’t know if trash pretends to be anything other.

  Can you have glamour without sleaze? Sure, absolutely. I mean, like the 20s Greta Garbo way, I would say Golden Era Hollywood, I mean behind the scenes it was probably a nightmare but you look at it and it is very genuinely shiny and beautiful.

I love the sitar on this album especially on ‘Down’, the riff is so sick. How did you get to the sitar? Well it’s not a sitar per se, it’s a choral electric sitar guitar and so it was I think George Harrison made them kind of popular in the ‘60s, I think the one I have is from ’67 and it plays like a guitar but it has a resonating body on it so it sounds sitar-esque. It was made very famous in the Steely Dan Do it Again solo.

  I guess the main PR bulletin point of this album is about your dad coming out of jail. Why did you want that to be the main way that people might read this album? More like an entry point, the title Daddy’s Home to me I mean one, it is literal but also it’s funny and cringy and pervy and also I think more than anything kind of refers to my own transformation into Daddy as it were. Yeah it’s probably not anything I would’ve really thrown out there except that it was made public without my consent but I didn’t really get to tell that side of the story and I don’t bring it up for sympathy. It simply is my story, it’s not intended to be indicative of necessarily anything, it’s just my story and I was gonna tell it with humor and compassion, all of that.

Did you anticipate a lack of sympathy for your dad’s crimes and the subject matter of this album and did that factor into how you shaped this record? That’s the tail wagging the dog my dear. No, no. A lack of sympathy, well, which crime would be the most sympathetic? I didn’t do anything, I’m simply writing about something that I think on some level everyone who’s ever had a parent can understand in the sense of you’re often going “How much of you am I?” and we kind of do identity projection through all these things so no, it’s again, it’s not really there for anything other than my own anecdotal story.

At what point did you transform into this daddy character? For how much of your adult life have you been the daddy? Oh I would just say over the past few years, I’ve just been quite a bit more leaned back and shoulder shrug and say let’s just sit down in the old beat up leather armchair and have a tequila and chat it out you know. Life is complicated, human beings are complicated and I wanted to just write stories about flawed people. There’s a whole lot of judgement going around and not a whole lot of understanding. And judgement is anti-curious. There are some people, perhaps the more sanctimonious and morally pure, who might not be interested in an artist’s reflection on their father’s white collar crimes. Do you have much sympathy for those kinds of people? I mean I think I can get sympathy for all people. If that is the reason why they decide not to spend 46 minutes with my work then I’m sure there’s plenty of other work out there for them that they can enjoy that is morally pure. They should find pure work from pure people and enjoy it.

I guess last year’s riots brought abolition towards the mainstream, during the time you were making this record, which is partially about your father’s time in prison. How did that square with your thoughts on prison and the US carceral system? Well I have plenty of thoughts on it, I’m not totally sure how it’s relevant to this.

Well I was wondering if you have a standpoint on it or if you’d rather just be ambiguous? I have so many thoughts and opinions, I don’t presume that my thoughts and opinions are relevant on every subject though. I don’t have that much hubris.

I understand. I was wondering about the Candy Darling inspiration, how does she come into the fold? Oh I just, Candy Darling to me is such a beautiful heroine in that she came from Queens and went not geographically far but worlds away to Manhattan and became her true self and in that particular kind of combination of glamour and toughness, where you feel like her name should be on the marquee and yet she could stick you with a shiv if you said the wrong thing. And I just find her inspiring and really beautiful, and I didn’t know but I found out a friend of mine was close with her and was at her bedside when she died so I was just picturing Candy Darling’s ascent to heaven as taking the final uptown train.

Wow. Did you feel like you were embodying her on this album or presenting as her? No not as such, but definitely taking inspiration from some of her energy for sure. I do hear a bit of her voice on the title track, I was wondering if you were kind of modeling your voice after her? On Daddy’s Home? Oh, no.

I love the sultriness of that song, even though it’s just about signing autographs in prison. I found it really funny. Yeah it’s definitely again, I’m writing about my own story with humor and compassion and self-effacement, all that.

Do you see this album as a movement, does it have a narrative? Yeah. It’s a full story, it’s a full collection of short stories. It has a shape and everything.

That’s just how I listened to this album, as a series of short stories. I was wondering how they interlink in your mind? I guess you have the person on Broadway, you have your dad, you have the person who’s maybe thinking of having a baby or not having a baby. I just could write stories of flawed people doing their best to get by because I’ve been most of the people on this album at one point of my life or another. And again I could write about them without condemnation and judgement just, here we are.

Are you a nostalgic person? No not generally.

Not even during the creation of this album? I’m thinking of the humming tracks, your mum cooking in the kitchen. Not exactly, I think that this particular kind of music with its sophistication and some of the jazz language in the harmony and its sense of time, it was a kind of music that I’d loved for so long but never really dipped into myself, and I think we kind of learn things a lot of times when we’re ready to, and I think I was kind of ready to learn some of the lessons that this kind of music had to teach me.

Do you think about shame a lot? Um, I think that shame is the reason why most people do the violence that they do. I think violence is an expression of impotence.

What was it about the post-idealist era in particular that you were drawn to, why not go through the flower power utopia sort of 60s route? I think that there’s an intellectual orthodoxy that is involved in utopian thinking and a lot of times it doesn’t allow for either a complex set of incentives or it doesn’t allow for the totality of human nature in its equation, and then it fails and because the structure of any kind of power is really complicated so I think in general the desire… and I understand that we’re living in, in some ways, I think just with the internet part of it, in some ways unprecedented times. And I understand people’s desire for certainty in times economic strife, cultural upheaval, all this stuff. I completely understand the desire for certainty. But I don’t think it’s as simple as demanding moral purity and punishing anyone who doesn’t fix the orthodox criteria. I understand the desire but I’m not sure it’s gonna get to where I think we want to be, which is just general more equality, whether it’s wealth equality, wealth disparity, all that kind of stuff I just think the matrices of power are really complicated.

You were saying earlier about Daddy and how you were thinking about your dad and the overlap between you two and how we all possibly become our parents. I was wondering how you consolidate the influences of your parents? I don’t know anything about them obviously but I know that your mum was a social worker, your dad was an entrepreneur, and those seem like two totally opposing worlds. Yes, my mother is a social worker and she instilled in all of us I think the idea that the work we do should be meaningful and she’s definitely really humanistic and that kind of thinking I think, that had an impression on me. My dad wasn’t an entrepreneur, my dad was a stock broker I think? But I grew up with my mom and my stepdad and my stepdad was a very different kind of guy, just was an army brat and grew up really poor, and was just coming from a different mindset and they’re just very different kinds of people. Not a judgement thing, just very different. Yeah my mom definitely errs on the very humble side. And yeah, my dad is a complicated, charismatic person who’s also very intelligent, and who went down a path that was full of consequence. Yeah they’re really, really different people so it’s funny to kind of square who was who.

What does your dad think of this album? Oh he loves it!

Yay, that’s good to know. Did you ever rebel against your dad’s lifestyle growing up as a teenager? I didn’t grow up with him, and he was in Tulsa Oklahoma. I don’t know what lifestyle you’re necessarily presuming but..

No I’m not presuming, just wanted a little background on your relationship with him I guess. So he wasn’t in your life that much where you were younger? I would go and we would spend summers there and Christmas, but I grew up in Dallas for the most part with my mom and my stepdad.

Was this album in any way an opportunity to get closer to your dad? Not in any way consciously, no.

  But are you finding with age and with time you’re getting closer to him? Well him being out of prison helps in terms of just proximity. Yeah, here’s what I’m finding. I’m finding that we live by the stories that we tell ourselves and that sometimes we realize that the story we’ve been telling ourselves for a long time was either wrong or lacked a certain amount of information, and then we have the choice of whether to reject the new information because it’s too painful to rethink the story that we’ve been telling ourselves, or assimilate the new information and go, wow life is complicated, this is an interesting wrinkle. I choose to do the latter.

  Yeah, it’s very easy to bullshit yourself, right? Yeah, it's true in all kind of ways you know?

This story, the story of your dad, it almost seems redemptive. I mean I would say so, and that’s not in any way what I intended and you know, a lot of times when you’re making something, I mean you’re a writer you know, you have the compulsion to make it but you’re not necessarily sure where it’s coming from or why or any of those kind of questions, but I think there is the possibility of redemption, I do, I think there is the possibility of people to change and I think there is a possibility of things like forgiveness and growth. And if I didn’t think that there was a possibility for human beings to change, to grow, to take in new information and then continue to write their story, then I don’t know what we’d really be doing, you know? And that’s not really the world I want to live in, we’re a moving picture we’re not a still photograph.

Do you want to try and change the world, do you feel like you have that power, do you feel hopeful that there can be a better future? Sorry for the cheesy language. No, I mean I don’t think that many people would accuse me of being an optimist in a lot of ways, and I don’t think in terms of my “power to change the world” I mean I think all I can do is try to study the human condition and write about the human condition in some way that resonates and then maybe people will hear that and that will resonate with them and I think that ultimately the best case scenario for music is empathy because it’s like psychologically this is why we like to listen to stories or this is why we like to watch movies is so we can go down the empathy exercise and you can see yourself as that person in the film, see someone who isn’t like you in any way, shape or form from a just box ticking kind of way, but then realize oh, we’re very similar in some ways or what would I do if I was in that situation, we do all these things and we live by these stories and I think those stories well-told can encourage empathy and empathy can go out into the world and have a kind of transformative experience. I don’t really think about, I mean I think once I make a thing and then it’s out in the world and it’s for other people to assimilate or enjoy or not, whatever, however they take it, is absolutely fine by me. But it’s for them, it’s not my place in any way to say how people should or should not enjoy it or assimilate it.

Yeah the reason I brought up prison abolition earlier is because that might be how some people contextualize this album. I would say that that’s one lens. That to me would not be the main lens.

[I’m told to wrap it up]

Yeah let’s wrap up. So Tool cover album next? No, I wish.

Someday I’m hoping. I love Tool.

I feel your Paul McCartney nerves Yeah, I’m gonna go shower.

That’s always a good idea. Okay take care, thank you again for you time Thanks, bye.

[ziaxkawaii]

“Thank you…” PART 2! (Bakugou X Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou X Reader

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: Your classmates tease you about what happened the previous night, and you escape the situation by taking Bakugou to recovery girl.

Part 1  Part 2

So, I was told that the first part was good and people asked if I could write a part 2. I see you… I see you. Well here it is! But not gonna guarantee it’ll be as good as the first one….

If you haven’t read the first part, I suggest you go read that first before reading this part.

I thank those people who requested this because I wouldn’t have written it otherwise. Thank you!

~After what happened the night before, you were unable to fall asleep the whole night.

~It was because of what he had called you in his half drunken state! He hadn’t been drinking anything, but he might as well had been!

~After the words left his lips, you weren’t so tired as you thought you were, you could’ve even sparred with him all over again if he would’ve been awake.

~You got up , and ruffled your bird nest-like hair as you tried to make sense (once again) of what Bakugou had called you.

~Babe...

~He had called you babe!

~Not only that but he also hugged you close as you carried him to his dorm while he muttered things like how soft or warm you were!

~You knew he wasn’t himself in that moment because of the hit you had in inflicted on his head, but it still got you flustered and giddy all over. But it also made you feel gloomy for that very reason.

~It wasn't the real Bakugou that said those things to you. It was just something that had accidentally slipped past his lips. There surely were no meaning behind them so it was probably for the better if you tried to not think about it…

~.....

~”Why are you doing this to me you blond spiky haired asshole!!!” You shouted. Slapping your hands on you face, a little too hard, but you didn’t care.

~Yea, as if you could just forget it just like that.

~You sighed and finally got out of bed to start your day now that you definitely weren’t even a little bit tired anymore.

~Since you woke up at the asscrack of dawn on a Saturday morning, you decided to finish your homework now that you had time. Because of your lack of time or the skill of planning, more often you found yourself waiting until the day before the due date to do your homework, and you were guilty of this habit.

~It really doesn’t matter if you do your homework the same day you got it or the same morning you’re supposed to return it, as long as it’s done before the teacher collects it.

~”Close call like these make life interesting, and you have to have something to laugh about when you’re older.” You would always say when Bakugou scolded you of this habit. He would scoff and growl that “you’ll regret it later”.

~You definitely do, but you keep making the same mistake over and over again. Sometimes you even wonder how or why he still has any patience for you. He hasn’t even once called you a loser for not doing your homework earlier. But he has said it to Kaminari, Mina and Sero a few times in the past.

~And Bakugou even helps you with it if you still hadn’t figured it out… Maybe there’s a chance he-

~No, that can’t be it. He’s probably just pitying you.

~There is nothing between you two.

~You lost the track of time while you kept on writing each page. Only when your morning alarm went off, you knew it was a reasonable time to go downstairs for breakfast. You closed your book and began your usual morning routine.

~Putting on your casual clothes and brushing and styling your hair as you always did. Looking in the mirror, you could see faint dark circles under your eyes but fortunately they weren’t that noticeable.

~With a deep breath, you stepped out of your dorm room to go have some breakfast in the common room kitchen.

~As soon as you stepped out of the elevator, smirking faces and grinning smiles were sent your way even from the other side of the room. Most of the class were already eating breakfast but there were some missing individuals. To your luck, Bakugou was nowhere in sight. 

~You considered going back to your room and hope your hunger wouldn’t bother you too much, but you knew it wasn't a real option.

~”Well look who’s here, good morning.” Mina smiled from ear to ear as you came over to the so called ‘Bakusquad’ table. Where Sero and Kirishima were also occupying the table.

“Please Mina, it’s too early for this, and don’t YOU give me that look.” You pleaded Mina but turned to Kirishima when he had a smug smirk plastered on his face. He was there when Bakugou said all those embarrassing things to you. So he already knew more than he was supposed to.

~’He’s so not gonna let me live this down...’

~”What? I haven’t done anything!” He jokingly lifted his arms up in surrender. Kirishima was a man of his word with no intention of breaking his promise.

~”Is there something we should know?” Sero questioned, leaning forward on his elbows.

~”No.” You answered way too fast for it to be a convincing lie. You ignored the looks you got and went to make yourself some toast along with some fruit. It didn’t stop their questions though.

~”Something must have happened yesterday, you’re acting so unusual.” Mina piped up from her seat.

~”Maybe they kissed!” Hakugure squealed from beside you. You took a few steps back in surprise. You had no idea she was even there even though her hoodie and pants flew in the air.

~”W-We did not!” You sputtered out. You wanted to hide from all the embarrassment.

~”Why are you stuttering?” She teased. You grabbed your food and sat next to Mina.

~”Come on guys… It’s way too early. Nothing like that happened! Me and Kiri took him to his room and that’s it.” You tried persuading them. 

~“Is that true Kiri?” Sero nudged the boy next to him.

~“I’m not telling.” He answered and your friends eyes widened.

~’Damn you Kirishima…’

~”Now you gotta tell us! No more lying!” Mina exclaimed, you started drinking your water as a weak excuse to not answer.

~”He was acting like such a softie towards you yesterday when you left for the elevators. There must have happened something else.” Momo jumped in the conversation.

~”Not you too…” You whined.

~”By the way you’re acting, it’s obvious you have feelings for him.” Jirou continued.

~”I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You said and went to take another sip. Mina was getting impatient with curiosity.

~”Oh come on, you-” She didn’t get to finish. You were averting your eyes around the room so you wouldn’t make eye contact with any of your teasing classmates. However this action caused you to make eye contact with the one person you were not ready to meet yet.

~The water in your mouth came spraying out like a water jet back into the glass you drank from, some of it spraying on the floor and some of it going down your wrong pipe. You started coughing your lungs out while leaning to the side out of Bakugou's field of vision. Mina started patting your back in hopes of helping you feel better.

~“Oi, what’s all this damn commotion about? I feel like shit so shut up.” He said while gently rubbing his head, more specifically the spot you had kicked yesterday.

~”Hey bro, how’s your head? You got quite a hit while sparing last night.” Kirishima stood up to meet Bakugou halfway. You didn’t dare to lift your head, so you opted to stay hunched over and try to couch up the remaining water out of your lungs.

~”I’m just fine, but what are you talking about me getting a hit?” He growled out.

~’Kiri...don’t do this to me. I’m already done for, so why are you still talking!!!’ You glared at the red haired boy. Some of the girls had come over and gave you some paper towels to clean the floor and yourself with. Bakugou gave you a glance but you pretended to clean the floor like it had a massive stain on it.

~Even you knew you looked hella awkward scrubbing down a floor that was already clean. But you were feeling so many emotions that you didn’t care, you just wanted to do something so he wouldn’t look at you.

~”You don’t remember? You and (y/n) were sparing and she knocked you out cold. She dragged you all the way from the training grounds back here to the dorms.” Kirishima explained and you could feel Bakugou's eyes on you and you didn’t know if it was the “I’ll tell you thank you later.” or “You think you can beat me!” type.

~”Aw man, we should’ve taken a video. You were acting all like-” Sero didn’t get to finish when you stood up faster than a lighting bolt, sputtering bullshit nonsense like a flustered idiot.

~”SERO! No- wait! Shit... HEY Katsuki!” You blurted out while marching over to the ash blond. Only then did you realize what you had said. You could hear Mina “secretly” snickering while banging her fist on the table while others watched the show in interest. You are such a mess when you’re flustered.

~”I-I mean Bakugou!” You corrected yourself. “Since you’re feeling a little bit off, I think it would be a good idea for you to pay a visit to the recovery girl, what do you say, yea?!” You spoke fast and Bakugou stared at you in confusion and unsureness. 

~”What’s up with you?” He asked, not sounding angry for once.

~”Absolutely nothing! So are we going? Yes? No?” You spoke way to fast again. ‘What am I doing!!?’ You screamed in your head.

~”Uhh..” Bakugou began.

~”Is that a yes I hear? Perfect! Then we’ll get going!” You grabbed Bakugou's wrist and began to pull him out the door. He was about to shout at you and protest but you shut him up. Only you had the balls to do so occasionally, and to this day you still wonder how you’re even alive.

~Bakugou grumbled under his breath but didn’t try to pull away from your grip. He let you drag him all the way to recovery girls office and you knocked on the door three times. You heard a faint ‘come in’ and opened the door. Recovery girl sat in her chair as you walked in, still holding onto Bakugou's wrist. 

~”Good morning children. What brings you two here?” The old heroine asked calmly.

~”W-We were sparing yesterday and I accidentally knocked Bakugou out cold by kicking him in the head. So can you check if he’s actually alright?” You requested.

~”I could have taken care of this myself!” Bakugou roared but still didn’t fight against your hold.

~”You’re too stubborn to do so on your own!” You taunted back.

~”Huh!? What’d you say?!”

~”You heard me! Now get treated, I’ll be waiting outside.” You said and stepped out of the office. Once you closed the door behind you, you were left with yourself in the empty hallway. 

~You thought about this morning's events so far and came to the conclusion that you’re officially dead. There was no way around it. You were either going to die by Bakugou’s hands once he is in his full power again or from embarrassment when you get back to the dorms, where your friend are waiting for your return. 

~You sunk to the floor while pulling your hair out of frustration.

~Seriously, what were you thinking!? Sputtering nonsense in front of everyone, even dragging your friend, who is also your crush out of the dorms in front of everyone and on top of that you started bickering with him as if nothing had happened just moments prior, and even that was in front of a one person audience.

~Well, you might as well start writing your last will and testament. Maybe you’ll throw in couple of words of advice on what you should not do in front of someone you like.

~You were still muttering to yourself on the floor when you heard the door to the healers office open and close.

~Oi! What for are you sitting on the floor for?” Bakugou's harsh tone cut through the air. You looked up at him and he was back to normal. He no more winced in pain or walked like he was feeling dizzy. You stood up but looked away from him.

~”I’m sorry Bakugou.” You apologized. The boy lifted a brow at this.

~”The hell are you talking about?”

~”I’m talking about my behavior this morning. I probably made you feel embarrassed in front of everyone. I’m sorry! Everyone were teasing me about yesterday and especially Kiri was teasing me about what you had said to me and it caught me off guard and-”

~“What did I say then?” He asked. You blinked blushing.

~“Huh?”

~”Spit it out already, what did I say that got you all so flustered.” He stepped closer to you and you in response took one back until your back hit the wall. Successfully leaving you nowhere to run.

~”You-. When me and Kiri we taking you to your room, You kept hugging me closer while I carried you, muttering how soft and warm I was. But, you also called me...Babe when we got you to bed.” You closed your eyes. You couldn’t stand his sharp crimson stare that you had hard time understanding. You expected the worst but was surprised when the next sentence came from him.

~”That’s it?”

~”What do you mean ‘That’s it’!?” You inquired turning to face him again.

~”Exactly what I said. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”

~”But we aren't even-” You stopped yourself. Unable to finish the sentence.

~”A what? A couple? I thought it was obvious.” You saw him blush lightly. You pondered his words for a moment. He- He saw you as his partner? A girlfriend? He likes you too? Since when!?

~”You’ve never said that you liked me.” You murmured.

~”I thought I didn’t need to. Words are way too complicated. It’s better to show how you feel towards someone instead of saying potential lies.” He said. Suddenly all the times you spent together in the past months came back to you. Memories of how he would lend a hand in training or homework, how he would once in a while invite you to his room to watch a movie and you would share popcorn together. Or how you and him acted together in general.

~From outsiders point of view. People would probably think you two were a thing. But you just couldn’t go on without a proper confirmation.

~”Then what are we? I want a verbal answer.” You stared deeply into his eyes. Almost challengingly.

~”You want a verbal answer?” He repeated and proceeded to close in on your face. “Tell me, do you have feelings for me?” You shivered under his gaze but you stood up straighter and said.

~”I do, I’ve had them for some time now.” You confessed.

~”Do you think I feel the same?” What was he on about now? He just practically said that he thought you and him were a couple and now he asked you if he had feelings for you? Is he playing?

~”Your tone tells me that you’re trying to tease me. When that’s the case, then yes. I think you do.” You said confidently. He grinned.

~”There's that confidence I was drawn to.” He remarked. “Well I think this settles it. You’re mine now.” He declared and finally closed the distance between you. You didn’t complain, wanting nothing more than enjoy this moment. The kiss was over sooner than you wanted it to be. But maybe it was better that you weren’t making out in the school hallway and in front of the healer's office.

~”If you’re going to call me yours then don’t think I won’t do the same.” You two started to walk down the hall, back towards the 1-A dormitory,

~”Oh really? Just a minute ago you admitted you felt nervous when I called you babe yesterday, or did I hear you wrong you princess?” 

~”That was yesterday. Now I’m more confident than ever. And don’t you dare call me that again.” You nudged his arm playfully.

~”You’re an idiot.” He called.

~”You’re an ass.” You called back.

~”Oh dear.” Recovery girl muttered. “Those two fight and act like an old married couple already~” She laughed while shaking her head. Retreating back inside her office.

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s New and Improved Top 20 Cdramas List

Because why not. These are ordered in terms of being my favorite as opposed to pure quality - if I was trying to be objective, it would probably be rearranged, but I like being petty and subjective.

You will notice that literally every drama on this list is a period drama. Much as I adore period cdramas, contemporary ones rarely work for me.  

20. Princess Agents (tie)

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll6x8zf2CnQ

Our heroine is a slave in a brutal society who becomes a feared general, fighting for freedom and love of a Yan prince. But her heart might actually lie with a seemingly cold adversary who is madly in love with her (I shipped them so hard!) I was one of five people who loved the infamous cliffhanger ending because it made a brutal kind of sense (You can read the novel if you want a different resolution.)

20. Tribes and Empires (tie)

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyRsPAGUz-Q

This one has a hell of an open ending, but it’s so gorgeous and epic, I don’t even care. Set in a fantasy empire, it follows three men - a half-human prince, a cursed son of a general, and an orphaned leader of a barbarian tribe. A feast for the eyes.

19. Ice Fantasy

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C05lhfrWgQg

A visually stunning high fantasy with elves, quests, a shockingly wonderful hero, brotherly love, toughest lady general ever as OTP and basically everything I like.

18. The General and I

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XDR17kwXYM

The lengthy OTP separation brings its place in this list down, but otherwise a gorgeous romance between two enemies - a general and a female strategist, is a total swoon and so intense. 

17. Three Kingdoms 2010

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3RVpdYDpYA

This one is a magnum opus of 100 episodes, with a tour de force performance by Chen Jian Bin as Cao Cao. Battles, politics, and even though it’s very secondary, one of my favorite love stories in cdramas. This one is if you want to use your brain as well as your heart.

16. Colourful Bone 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4O5yb3VBh4

It probably doesn’t deserve to be this high on the list but it hits all my narrative and shippy kinks with a common-sense heroine taking in an abused and mistreated death machine and teaching him to be human. Mmmm.

15. Young Warriors 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO83qvKaoSM

What do you get when you have seven awesome heroic brothers, a star-studded cast, tragic stories about heroism and love and just amazingness? You get this drama. 

14. Strange Hero Yi Zi Mei

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFVDAuFOyWE

Band of misfits fight corruption and uncover mysteries. This one is the most underrated drama on my list. Also, Wallace Huo has never been hotter in his life and that is saying something.

13. The Battle of Changsha 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbgFMaUfpnE

By the same people who wrote Minglan, this follows a family in 1930s China and is a quiet, devastating masterpiece.

12. Prince of Lan Ling

MV (warning - spoilery): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jUVGP0HETo

He’s the consummate battle god. She is a mystical shaman. He is fated to be with someone else per prophecy but he doesn’t care and chooses her. True love, politics, battles, jealousy, amazingness, tragedy. I love them so. 

11. Gong/Jade Palace Lock Heart

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVFPVkHaweo

This is Boys over Flowers goes Qing (where Domyoji’s behavior finally makes sense since he’s a literal prince and Rui likes to kill people.) This is such a amazing good fun, about a modern woman time traveling to the time of the fight for the throne between Kangxi’s sons. She thinks she likes the seemingly gentle Four but ends up with hot-blooded, awesome Eight. She herself is tough as all get out and this is pure deliciousness from beginning to end. Yang Mi and Feng Shao Feng had such amazing chemistry, people RPShipped them for years. 

10. Return of the Condor Heroes 2006

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzXsBqVYp0I

My first cdrama ever, and what a gorgeous one it was. That’s what got me into cdramas. The childhood eps are pretty awful but after that, it’s pure shippy perfection with an incredible OTP. If you want to be in a constant romantic swoon, in that story of female master and her male disciple and their forbidden love, this one is for you.

9. Eternal Love/Three Lives Three Worlds Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-ry-W4Crg

Fated immortal lovers, reincarnations, the whole enchilada. Yang Mi and Mark Chao have insane chemistry that burns up the screen. The first few eps are slow, but it makes up for it afterwards.

8. Legend of Fuyao

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkMX1d0v7t0

A twisty epic romance with a super-powered heroine who is plain awesome and may destroy the world, and a smart, ruthless prince who’s only soft for her. I love it so much!

7. Legend of Condor Heroes 2008

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2fea109_qM

Plot twists, good guy hero with a mega smart OTP, tragic anti-hero who becomes a villain for a while with an amazing OTP, bromance, fights, everything. I just adore this one. 

6. Bu Bu Jing Xin/Startling By Each Step

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9B3Rddrqt0

The one that started the time-travel craze (well, that and Gong), about a modern woman who time travels to the time of Emperor Kangxi’s sons’ fight for the throne, this is a gorgeously filmed tragic love story, with one of the most perfectly brutal endings out there. I adore it.

5. Nirvana in Fire

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4wps7SK9xo

This is a smart story about politics and revenge, where a survivor of a wrongly destroyed family comes to get justice. Seemingly laid back until it explodes. Not much romance but it doesn’t even need it. 

4. Rise of the Phoenixes 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0BUvMKSj4E

Like the dramas to destroy you? Come right in. A story about a disfavored prince and a lost daughter of a previous dynasty, this is smart, gorgeous, and is going to wreck you.

3. Ever Night (s1)

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x99seU5qJuc

I have talked enough about it recently so I won’t say much more, but if you want epic, movie-like quality, characters you will love, amazing battles and cinematography, complicated world-building and an OTP to die for, come right in.

2. The Myth 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rfyfKM_Ww0

For the longest time, this was my favorite cdrama, to be replaced only by Minglan. It starts out funny and ends up tearing out your heart. This is the only time in my drama watching experience I cried so hard I threw up. The story is about two accidental time-travelers - a photographer and a cook - who end up in Qin Dynasty China. And from then on it’s about how that cruel, horrifying world takes two perfectly normal men and by wracking their very souls turns one into a hero and the other into a monster. To me, this is Hu Ge’s best performance and as you see his protagonist desperately try to hold on to his humanity and his love in a world that is doing its best to destroy it, I dare you not to cry like a baby. His character is my ultimate cdrama crush.   

1. The Story of Minglan

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA7m2QktiUk

Aaaaaand, my n1. cdrama is the amazing, too short at 73 eps, The Story of Minglan. It is very hard to describe the plot of this - a sort of Elizabeth Gaskell meets period China. It follows three interconnected upper-class families, but more specifically, it is about Shen Minglan, a concubine-born daughter of a minister and Gu Tingye, the oldest, legitimate, and hated by his family son of a Marquess. Their narratives run largely parallel for the first half of the story and such is the genius of this drama that I, the ultimate romance junkie, did not mind that. Minglan is a rarity in dramaworld - she is fiercely smart, very collected and emotionally detached. Life in the troubled Shen household taught her to survive and to hide her feelings and talents. Tingye is a big cdrama love. Abused and reviled by his household where he can do no right (the Marquess hated having to marry his merchant mother for money and has displaced that hate on her son), Tingye manages to keep his warm heart but acquires the ability to go his own way. Both of the protagonists are wonderful and smart and magnetic and rootable for separately, but when they get together, the sparks go off the charts and they become my n1 cdrama OTP of all time. A lot of the story is about family battles, women’s world dilemmas and relationship (of all sorts) interactions. There is also politics and battles, but the true charm of this drama are the mundane details of the world and the fully-fleshed out people who inhabit it. If you watch only one cdrama in your life, make it this one.     

[punchdrunkdoc]

The King: Eternal Monarch

What follows is a stream-of-consciousness, spoiler-filled bunch of thoughts and theories about TKEM, which I can’t stop obsessing over. I knew it was a mistake to start this show instead of waiting to binge it! It’s the first K-drama I’ve watched in ‘real time’ and the wait between episodes is KILLING ME!!

Overall, though, I’m really enjoying this show. It’s right up my alley (which is why I couldn’t wait to start watching it): magical realism, parallel worlds, time travel, a dashing King and a capable, no-nonsense heroine. The plot is really intriguing and there have been some great twists and genuinely heart-pounding sequences so far. It’s also GORGEOUS to look at and there’s a great streak of humour.

I admit I found the romance a bit lacking at the start. It felt a little rushed, to be honest. I could see why Gon would be instantly smitten with Tae-eul - she’s been in his head for 25 years and when he finally found her, she was smart, spunky and treated him in a refreshingly frank and ‘real’ way - so different from all the fawning adoration he was used to in Corea.

So the fact that it was Tae-eul who was the first to say ‘I love you’ was a little jarring and it seemed to come out of the blue. But I went back and binged just their scenes together for all 12 episodes, and I could see the connection better. 

She comes to realise that fate has dropped this guy in her lap - this amazing, smart, funny, handsome, rich, cool guy - and she also has the sense that it can’t end well between them. So, at first she retreats from him; when she’s in Corea the first time, she keeps asking to see her ID badge - the pretence for her being there and the only thing stopping her from leaving. It’s clear that she’s trying to protect herself. She doesn’t want to get too close to this guy when there is no future. So she leaves without giving him a sense that she returns his feelings in any deep way.

But then she can’t get him out of her head, and has weeks to think about how she left things with him and how she might never see him again (he did go off to battle after all). When he finally returns, and she sees him just standing there in her yard…she decides to go all in. “It is better to have loved and lost…” as the saying goes.

And I like that this is where the show chose to go. It’s not a story about will they/won’t they. It won’t end with them declaring their love. They’ve already done that. This is a show about two people who desperately WANT to be together - and are really great together - but the universe is trying to tear them apart. And I’ve really enjoyed the scenes of them attempting to have a normal life - they’re so easy and natural together and the show has done such a good job, with relatively little screentime, of showing how well they work as a couple. They make each other laugh, they’re impressed by each other, and they can confide and support one another.

And that’s why these last few episodes have been so heartbreaking.

Lets talk about that scene in the bamboo forest, when they briefly reconnected. Tae-eul absolutely broke my heart in this moment. I do wish the show did a better job of conveying how much time passes between Gon’s visits - is it weeks, months?? - but even without a definite timescale, the actress absolutely sold that it had been a significant period of time and she missed him so, so much. It was beautifully done. And it did nothing to advance the plot - it was just a tiny moment to show how much these two love and miss each other. I’m glad the writers have remembered that this show is about the characters as much as its about the Lee Lim/murdering dopplegangers plot.

And then what about this:

When I first saw it, I assumed Gon was crying with grief over his uncle. And I thought it was a nice way of calling back the conversation between PM Koo and Court Lady Noh - that Gon would never cry in front of Koo, proving that she is not the woman for him. But here he is shedding tears with Tae-eul, and bringing her flowers from across the universe.

But now that we know this is Gon from the future, his words and his tears have much, much more poignancy. It’s turned a sad scene into a gut-wrenching one. This felt very much like a last goodbye: bringing her the flowers he never brought, finally being able to tell her how much he loved her, and sharing one final kiss.

So what the hell has happened to this Gon? It appears that he loses Tae-eul at some point…either through her death or some other permanent separation. And why is he in that particular coat? I think it’s his wedding outfit (worn ‘at the most glorious moment’). We know he tends to get ahead of himself - she hasn’t agreed to marry him, but he’s already declared that she is the future Queen, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s already got the royal tailors working on his outfit!

But that brings me to the awful theory that he is marrying PM Koo in the future, which is why he feels the need to have a final moment of closure with Tae-eul. We know Koo has her eye on the crown, and its possible she blackmails him into marriage e.g. by threatening to expose the parallel world.

The other heartbreaking moment in this last episode was the photograph scene. Gon has already worked out that they can’t keep using the gateway between the worlds. Each time they do, time stops for longer and longer (I love that he is a mathematician, and his logical brain figures this stuff out so quickly. Its refreshing to have a lead who knows almost as much as the audience does and you’re not constantly waiting for him to catch up and clue in).  

So during this latest time-freeze, he can’t help but cry. It a lovely juxtaposition with the first time he’s with a motionless Tae-eul. Back then, he was full of wonder at the beauty of the moment. Now, it’s just a reminder that their time together is limited.

Each moment they share together is now touched with bittersweetness and an air of melancholy and its bloody PAINFUL to watch. The angst in this show is tearing my heart out!!

This moment was a bit lighter, and I’m glad they’ve moved their relationship forward in this way. It was a bit ridiculous that they’re in love, finally together in the same world, they both know time is running out…and yet they’re still being so platonic! C’mon, I know this is a k-drama (which are super-PG)…but this was starting to stretch my credulity!

And…wild baseless theory coming up…could she be pregnant as a result?? The doctor made a point of saying she was on antibiotics (which stops birth control working) and there’s a tiny snippet in the trailer where she says ‘I think I’m-‘. So, my mind couldn’t help but go there! Because this show doesn’t have enough angst!!

(Extremely wild, baseless theory number 2…could yo-yo boy be their child? He belongs to both worlds, which would make sense if his parent were from both worlds too…and he has that connection with Luna…

No. I don’t like this theory at all, because he’s obviously not been raised with his parents which means a super-sad ending is coming. And he seems a bit more like a God-like character than a mortal boy, so I’m probably waaaay off track, and I really hope I am).

My last point (and, boy did this get long!) is that I struggle to see how the show can possibly tie everything up in just 4 episodes. We have Lee Lim’s plan that has barely come into play, all the dopplegangers to sort out, Shin-Jae’s background to explore, Lady Noh’s background (!), PM Koo’s ambitions, who saved 8-year old Gon, and of course, how Gon and Tae-eul will resolve their star-crossed lovers thing.

It’s either going to end tragically, or there’ll be loose ends…or they might be setting up a season 2. If that’s the case I’ll be PISSED! One of the reasons I became addicted to K-dramas is how they (usually) tell a complete story in 1 season. There’s a clear, satisfying ending and it doesn’t get dragged out for multiple years. 

There’s also the risk that there won’t BE a season 2. I gather the show is popular on Netflix, but I see things on twitter about it not doing well in South Korea. For such a lavish, expensive show, is a second season even guaranteed?

UGH, I need to have a happy ending guys!

[revchainsaw]

You're Next (2011)

Greetings Flock! Reverend Chainsaw here with another film review to feed your souls. Parishioners of the Cult of Cult should be familiar with todays offering, and that is good news for you shall find your hearts strangely warmed. Please join me as we dive into the Book of You're Next and renew our devotion to the Trinity that is The Tiger, the Lamb, and the Holy Wolf.

The Message

You're Next is definitely a tough film to review. For a movie as young as it is to have had such a strong and committed following speaks volumes and I believe you would be hard pressed to find a review by anyone who loves horror that is down on the film. While it can sometimes bring me great joy to review the awful films of the world, occasionally it is a pleasure to give honor to those films which deserve it.

You're Next is a film which fits neatly into both the Slasher and Home Invasion genres. The story centers around a vicious assault on a wealthy family by 3 masked men, all on the evening when our heroin, Erin, is meeting them for the first time. Avoiding the Slasher genre trope of generic murder lambs we are yet again faced with an excellent cast where not even the early victims are forgettable.

The movie opens with the grizzly murder of the Davison's nearest neighbors by our animal masked assassins, insuring that should anyone attempt to flee they will not be finding help any time soon. Then we get one hell of a title card before we find Paul and Aubrey Davison preparing to have their children and their respective partners over to their home to celebrate their anniversary. Aubrey is played by Re-Animators own Barbara Crampton. Foremost among the children visiting are their son Crispian, a college professor, and his Australian girlfriend Erin, who was once his T.A. This is a source of contention for Crispian when his siblings judge the professional nature of this relationship.

Two by Two the Children arrive. It is off handedly mentioned that the Davisons money comes from defense contracts, and that the family dynamic is particularly strained. An arrow from a cross bow pierces the window during a particularly tense dinner, and then the film enters full force into unyielding action. There are characters murdered by arrows, a gruesome slice to the jugular by some sinisterly placed piano wire (during what was ramping up to be a daring escape from the home), and of course axe murders.

Crispian manages to escape into the night abandoning Erin and his remaining family. At this point, Erin, who is revealed to have been raised on a survivalist compound begins to fight back. Erin goes full Home Alone on the invaders, and the hunters soon become the hunted. After Erin kills one of the villains It is revealed through the course of the night that the murder of the Davison family is an inside job. These men are paid assassins and they were hired by Felix and his gothy girlfriend Zee, whose macabre tastes include being sexually aroused by dead bodies. Once Erin discovers this fact she dispatches the rest of the animal masked crew as well as Felix and Zee with some very creative uses of kitchenware.

Just as we are about to declare Erin the final girl of this film Felix's phone rings, it's Crispian. When Erin answers Crispian reveals that he was the ringleader, but his weak constitution had caused him to flee the scene. Impatient when he doesn't here Felix on the other end Felix reenters the home to find a bloody Erin. He begs and makes excuses, promising Erin that she was intended to be a witness to the slaughter and was safe the whole time. Erin is having none of it, and ends the relationship once and for all with a stab to the neck.

The film ends with the arrival of the police who upon discovering Erin murdering Crispian set off one of her Home Alone traps and she is set up to be held responsible for the whole affair. Here's hoping we get the court room drama sequel that this movie deserves.

The Benediction

Best Kill: Erin, In the Kitchen, With the Vitamix It's not often in a horror flick that the best kill can be said not to have come from the hands of the monster, but from the heroin. Toward the climax of the film Erin has had enough and she expresses her self in glorious gory satisfaction with a blender to the skull of her lovers brother Felix.

Best Character : T.A. Taking Action Suprise! It's Erin. The best character is Erin. I really wanted to try and say that it was some more obscure character like snarky big bro Drake, but No. It's Erin, it was always Erin. She is the stand out feature of the film. The Lamb, the Tiger, and the Wolf masks were instantly iconic and sold in Hot Topic from the minute the movie made a wide release, but no one comes out of You're Next thinking about the mercenary assassins. We come out thinking about how the lass from the land down under turned the tide against the terribe trio. The audience wants more Erin.

Best Actor: We Came, We Got You, Barbara!

It's just so good to see Barbara Crampton whenever we can. It says something for a person to still be doing the Scream Queen thing for this long. She is not the most likeable character in You're Next but she is selling the fear, the tension and the goals of her character. I think it would be safe to say that the first act would not be nearly as effective without Barbara Cramptons performance.

Best Villain: Zee Nation

Zee was just something else. The Masked Trio of Home Invaders were sort of plug and play. The masks and tactical gear definitely sold the menace, but they were not really characters. They are given some slivers of back story and I don't think that it's really a problem that way. I've been happy with less before. It just sort of means that no one killer stands out in particular. Though the Lamb Mask is my personal favorite. For all the brutish merciless killing these three dole out to the Davison family it's really Zee who makes a splash in my memory. She's absolutely as gleeful as a deadite about all this bloodshed going on around her. She isn't just dark and edgy cuz it's a look, it seems like she really took that aesthetic to heart. The fact that you couldn't tell she'd happily tear your throat out by looking at her certainly makes her a bigger threat than she gets credit for.

Worst Character: Poor Little Rich Kid

All of the characters in You're Next work. Some move from grating to sympathetic, others from charming to pitiful, but at some point every character has a presence and a personality that the viewer can recognize. No Character in this film will receive worst character because they are poorly written, unneccessary, or just obnoxious. However, one character is consistently self-indulgent, cocky, sniveling, and has all the undeserved sense of superiority of a Kevin Smith protagonist, and that's Crispian. Fuck Crispian. He's a bad boyfriend, a bad brother, a bad son, and a bad teacher. He has so much that he doesn't deserve, and earnestly feels he's entitled to more.

Most WTF Moment: Crossing the Line

Was it Crispian's heel turn? Was it Felix stabbing drake? The realization that the family extermination was an inside job? Was it the twist that Erin was a bad ass? What single moment made everyone who's seen this movie go "WHOAH!!!" all at once? When Crispian was attempting to make his exit the first time he proposed he go and get help claiming he's the fastest, to which his overestimation of himself is comedically undercut by the fact that he is in fact out of shape and his sister Aimee used to run track. The family unanimously agrees they would put their lives in the hands of poor Aimee and her athletic past, but they also propose she back up and bolt out the front door the minute they open it up. The music swells, and Aimee makes a run for it. She is stopped short by a piano wire trap set by the mercenaries, as her momentum allows the wire to cut deep and clean into the meat of her neck. She is not decapitated but bleeds out on the floor of the house. It really catches the viewer off guard and is a very impressive effect. Not only is Aimee's kill the most WTF moment, but it is runner up for best kill.

Summary You're Next is hands down my favorite home invasion movie. It's wide appeal is undeniable. As of 2015, You're Next was predicted to be considered the best horror movie of the 2010s. Unfortunately for You're Next but how wonderful for us, the later half of the decade really ramped up the great horror films releases. I wouldn't call You're Next the best horror film of it's time, but it definitely deserves to be remembered. People's enthusiasm for the film does seem to be slowing and I think it would do our congregation a great service for us to continue singing it's praises.

Overall Grade: A

[another-sonic-blog]

heey! Could we have some sonamy forces? Maybe Amy being a badass and making Sonic like ‘O_O’??? Thank you!

A strong Rose

SonAmy

2k

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It was one of those easy days for Sonic. After the long run, he softly made his way through the Resistance HQ's. The automatic doors opened and as he took some steps forward, he was bombarded with the liveliness of the place. The Resistance was a rusty place, it definitely needed remodeling but to the blue hedgehog, it gave a comfy atmosphere. It smelled like wet soil, one of Sonic's favorite smell, he even ran to places that were raining just to smell it and have the pleasure of it. He expected to be greeted by the other agents but it seemed like they were too busy to care that he was here. They ran to what it seemed to the Resistance's main room. As Sonic made his way through the halls, the agents bumped into him. They always apologized to him but they made sure to keep their eyes on the location.

Sonic had finally reached the Main Room where it got complicated to get in. The agents all pushed each other, standing on their tippy-toes to try and get a look at the immense computer that was placed right in the middle of the room.

"What is all of this fuzz about?"

Sonic looked at the Mobian next to him, a green wolf boy with glasses who seemed way too excited to be here.

"Captain has gone to a mission for the first time!" the green wolf's stayed stuck on the computer's screen, not noticing that the one next to him was no other than Sonic the Hedgehog. "I've only heard stories about how great of a fighter Ms.Rose was! I can't wait to see her in action-"

The green boy finally turned to look at the blue hedgehog and he gasps at the realization. One of his idols was standing right in front of him, the blue hedgehog was one of the reasons why he joined the Resistance, in the hope that he would see him one day.

And that day was today.

"Amy for sure is a skilled fighter but," Sonic said, he smiled at the green wolf. Although he didn't care for fame, it was fun to see other's reactions to him and it lowkey raised his ego. "What is she doing out there in the field? I thought she was always too busy to take on missions."

"Captain Rose said that this mission was too dangerous for any of us to take," the wolf boy said, looking around the room nervously. "And she couldn't contact anyone from Team Dark nor Silver and Blaze and you weren't here nor Knuckles so she decided to go by herself."

Sonic knew that Amy was strong and she could perfectly take care of herself. Nonetheless, there was always this feeling of uncertainty, he cares too much for her to give a blind eye on the situation. His eyes were now glued to the enormous computer screen. For now, it was only blue and the screen had the words 'connecting...' as if it was waiting for a transmission to start. The agents still pushed each other to try and get as many people inside as possible. However, all chatter and movement were stopped the moment they saw that the computer screen no longer showed the previous words. Now it was showing live footage.

"How are we seeing this?" Sonic asked again as he could perfectly see the pink hedgehog he missed so much showing up on the screen.

"Mr.Miles sent a small android to accompany Ms.Rose, it's recording live," the wolf, although he was very excited to see his idol, he also wanted to see the heroine in peace. Mentally he wished Sonic stopped asking questions and instead just enjoy the show along with him.

The blue hedgehog didn't know what was going on and actually, he didn't need it. The flying android allowed everyone to see live the adventure of Amy Rose through the gigantic computer screen displayed in the middle of the room.

With no further actions, Sonic just lay back and relaxed, waiting for Amy to display her abilities.

The screen showed the pink hedgehog walk towards an army of egg bots. Probably around 50 of them or so Sonic thought, maybe even more.

"I don't want to hurt any of you but ..." Amy's voice had deepened and her stance was strong. To Sonic this was unknown, he had never seen Amy look so ... strong. "But if you don't give me my friend back in three minutes ... I won't have an option."

The Eggbots didn't think about it for a second and they were fast to throw a metallic spear at Amy.

Sonic flinched instinctively, and he shook aa little. However, he was relieved and surprised to see that Amy very calmly only moved her head to the side to dodge the spear.

"Is that all you got?" Amy said. Instantly the agents in the Main Room all stare at the computer screen in awe.

"Come on! Shadow's Chaos Spears are better than that!"

Sonic didn't know what to be more surprised at. That there was a possibility that Shadow had thrown a Chaos Spear at Amy or that Amy thought that Shadow's Chaos Spears were weak.

As if to answer her question, all 50 robots threw metallic spears at the pink hedgehog at the same time. Amy was quick to pull out her hammer and with it, she ricocheted the spears back at the Eggbots one by one.

The Main Room of the Resistance was filled with excited screaming, cheers and applause as they watched their captain being a total badass. Sonic meanwhile, was remembering the day Amy let him carry her hammer. The famous Piko-Pink hammer wasn't heavy ... it was impossible to pick up. Sonic could only lift it a few centimeters of the ground once and that was it. Watching Amy move it so easily and with such a fast technique made Sonic ... sightly impressed, he had to admit that much.

He continued to watch the screen as saw Amy ran at full speed towards the Eggbots. She was fierce and fast, using the strength of her hammer she would destroy each robot that dared to stand in her way.

Amy threw her hammer and it landed directly in the Eggbot that was guarding Eggman's entrance to his base. She did a backflip as to dodge the spear attack of one the Eggbots and finished, she landed a kick that went right through the Eggbot's metallic inside.

Amy snapped her fingers and quick her hammer appeared in her hand again. The pink hedgehog destroyed everything in her way. She had such a unique technique and stance that he had only seen been accomplished by a very well trained black hedgehog.

The green wolf looked at with excitement at the computer screen in front of him and he controls the need to fanboy his platonic crush. He looked next to him and found something rather amusing. Sonic the Hedgehog was utterly impressed and he could tell by the way his green eyes opened more as each second passed by.

Sonic had always known that Amy was an extremely gifted fighter ... But holy Chaos she was utterly strong. He knew for sure that the pink hedgehog had done some training in the six months that he was gone running around the world. Her fighting style reminded him of Shadow and Sonic wonder if they had spent some time training together while he was gone.

He would be lying if he said that the thought alone didn't bother him. Sonic trusted the love Amy had for him but he also knew that the pink hedgehog could bring the best out of people ... and a certain black hedgehog may have liked that about her.

However, a certain sense of proudness filled the blue hedgehog's soul. Watching the Resistance's agents fanboy and fangirl about his favorite pink hedgehog, made his heart smile. He wanted to face them, point at the computer screen and tell everyone, 'Look at her! Isn't she so cool! That's my Amy Rose!"

Although he was too shy to ever say something like that out loud.

The android that Tails made to follow Amy had suddenly stopped as the pink hedgehog entered Eggman's base. As if they were watching a movie, the agents and Sonic were waiting for their Captain to come out victorious of her mission. However, panic began to overtake them as the computer screen showed Eggman's base lit up on fire, bombs after bombs were detonated. Sonic held his breath in as to stop himself from running and finding her.

"Come on Amy ... Get out."

A few more seconds passed until finally, the pink hedgehog came out of Eggman's base victorious. Carrying in her back, a very well known red echidna.

The Resistance exploded in cheering and screaming, clapping. Sonic couldn't stop feeling a great sense of peace and especially, happiness. He began to cheer as well, even if Amy wasn't able to hear him. Sonic went as far as to give the green wolf next to him a small hug, which took him by surprise.

That was Amy ... his Amy.

.

When Amy came back to the Resistance, she was greeted by cheers and applause from the other agents. Although she wasn't badly hurt, there were some cuts and wounds that she needed to take off. She was in the infirmary, where Knuckles was sleeping in his bed peacefully. He had gone to Eggman's base to retrieve one of the Chaos Emerald but he had run into trouble and Eggman captured him.

So, of course, she had to go and save his butt again.

Not like she minds.

She was putting a bandage around her right arm when suddenly, someone entered the infirmary.

It was her favorite blue hedgehog.

"Sonic! I wasn't expecting you to come here today," Amy said, still seating on the edge of her bed.

Sonic smiled as she walked towards her and took a seat next to her. "Yeah, I was passing by ... So, how are you?"

"I am good, I definitely had worse," Amy was still trying to tie a bandage around her arm and seeing her struggle, Sonic took over her task. She blushed a little seeing act so kindly towards her.

"I saw you on your mission today," Sonic said concentrating his sight into treating Amy's bandages.

The pink one looked at him, her blush getting redder by the second.

Sonic looked at Amy as he finished tying her bandage. "It was dangerous."

Amy felt a sense of guilt wash over her and disappointment came with it too. The last thing she wanted was to make Sonic worry about her-

"But it was really cool, too!"

As Sonic smiled, Amy's heart skipped a bit. "The way you use your hammer was so cool! The punches and kicks! The way you moved your way towards the entrance of Eggman's base was out of this world-"

For a second, Amy thought that she had died in that mission and she was now in heaven. The love of her life was not only taking care of her, but he was praising her as well. Like an excited child in a candy store, Sonic was listing all the thing he loved about Amy without realizing.

"You were so cool, amazing, fantastic and-"

"For Chaos ..."

Their moment was interrupted as they turned their attention to the red hurt echidna in front of them.

"Would you two just kiss already?"

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A/N: Here it is, this week's request! Sorry for the wait, I hope you like this!

I am working on the next prompt request already!

[throughthewwods]

I’ve been contemplating ‘awe’ recently.

There are all sorts of psychological benefits to awe: increased resilience to minor and major stressors, faster recovery from stressors, increased positive attitude in general, decreased aggression, increased communication skills, less existential dread.. 🤪

Somedays I miss ‘spiritual me’, but I am a different person now and I can’t force myself to regress. As a 98% atheist, awe comes from external stimuli mostly, stimuli that is not accessible to me at the moment. This got me to thinking about meditations.

If not deities, what power greater than myself do I still believe in of that magnitude? Even after the melodrama of mysticism is stripped away, what is my compass that moves me?

Connectedness & Causality ,

The red thread,

a web that connects, effects all beings, all things

Synchronicity

Just thinking about those fundamental truths brings me a sort of warm, inner peace throughout my body.

I’ve been telling myself for ages that I need to re-integrate a consistent meditation practice back into my life, so… i’ve decided that every day I will set time aside to meditate on the wonderment of connectedness and causality, which exceeds my human capacity to understand existence

And… see how that affects my mood.



100 Days of Productivity 🏖 . Day 30, 31

🐾 wonder of wonders, GSD has been doing much better on our walks

💜 Took Kiddo and GSD on a nice, be it swelling, walk for milkshakes

💚 Been jogging each morning before the heat blasts in

I’m not quite there, but I’m finally starting to experience the dopamine benefits of it.  i’m not in good enough shape to get to that ‘flow state’ like I can when I hula hoop yet though.

📚 worked on my presentation

Got the bare bones of it put together

📚 reviewed the literature

📚 put together the outline

💙 read some studies on the psychological benefits of awe and what elements of an experience have been tied to awe cross-culturally..

add a book to my wish list then realized I should probably finish a few of these before taking on another.

💙 I am nearly halfway through Maritime Park

My heroine is finally starting to develop a sense of self, but is still annoyingly demure and the female antagonist, Mary is increasingly manipulative (which differs than her depiction in the movies where she’s just incompatibly modern)

💙 meditated before bed

Last few days have been mostly uneventful as we hide inside from a historic heatwave. It’s moments like this where I am grateful for our blessings, but also for the changes I’ve made, both in attitude and action, which have put me in a better position to deal with situations preemptively. Things would suck so much right now if I hadn’t put myself in a financial position where I could buy a couple air conditioners or had the foresight to get them ahead of time before this summer got bad..

Kiddo lost my scissors, so she spent all Sunday cleaning her room in search of them. At first I was really frustrated since I needed them, but I checked myself and switched to a relatable consequence instead. 👍

When I took GSD for a jog along the trail, on the way back I turned my music off. Everything was serene and sun-kissed with splashes of canopy shadow. A light breeze broke the hot air and each cluster of shade had a pleasant coolness about it. Swarms of butterflies, white and gold, fluttered around us in a halo. It was beautiful.

Later I talked to RB about awe. He is my very favorite non-practitioner Buddhist, so naturally lives in the present moment and the wonder of small things to his day.  When I tell him about the butterflies he shares in my delight

and there is beauty in that too.. Beauty in the vulnerability of being able to safely share small things.

We talk a little more about moving in together in about a year. My grad school is an hour-ish away. I won’t need to worry about commute for the first year, but by next year I will have to find a way there and back once a week. I tell myself it’s a bridge to cross when I get there. RB offers to drive me, says it will be easy if we are living together.. that he‘ll just bring a book. His nonchalant thoughtfulness is touching.

[thewreckkelly]

ESL: Don’t Just Blame the Owners

Despite being Irish I can still name every player and their position from that game at Wembley on July thirtieth. I was six when it was played.

For nearly six months the Saturday matinees at my local cinema in Dublin included newsreel footage of the Lisbon Lions. I was seven and a fan of the Cisco Kid.

You couldn’t move in the good room of my Uncle’s house the night the Belfast boy destroyed Benfica. I was eight and not that familiar with watching football on TV.

I collected souvenir coins from petrol stations leading up to, throughout and after the World Cup finals in Mexico. I was ten and an outraged defender of the English captain.

‘Revie’s Animals’ found my undying loyalty throughout the seventies with my first live game being at Anfield in 1971. I was eleven and thought Liverpool was an incredible city and Johnny Giles the best player ever.

World performers like Cruyff, Ardiles and Muller intruded into my fandom and opened up a bigger world picture as they performed in the German and Argentinean World Cups.

Spain 1982 provided my first experience of a live stage for world football where Northern Ireland shocked the hosts and Scottish fans became my friends in Malaga.

London 1983 saw my first visit to Highbury and resulted in me becoming a proud season ticket holder.

For the best part of fourteen years I didn’t miss an Arsenal game, (including every final up to and including the 2005 FA Cup), as well as being privileged enough to attend many internationals, World Cups and European Championships.

The 1992 Barcelona, Sampdoria final at Wembley saw me experience in person a sidelined Cruyff steer his total football to the ultimate success, (not that it was that obvious in that particular game).

Euro 96 allowed me to indulge in ten memorable live matches.

There is little doubt that watching Maradona do his thing in Italy and Internationally, rates among the very special experiences of my football love affair.

Sky Sports proved a Godsend when I moved back to Ireland in 1997 and delivered me not just the Gunners experience but also allowed the wannabe coach in me to watch the technical side of the game develop and grow beyond recognition.

Then came Spain and Messi – enough said .....

All of which is a preface to my provenance and how I feel about the current state of football along with the recently abortive attempt by the big clubs of Europe to go their own way in a thing they chose to call; ‘The European Super League’.

First of all, Football doesn’t belong to anyone. Two sweaters and a ball will allow those, who want to, to live the dream for as long and as often as they want. Commercial Professional football is a whole different animal altogether.

I was born a year before Jimmy Hill changed the financial landscape of the sport and grew into the game with enough of a curiosity - from watching him as a staple pundit on TV throughout the seventies - to research and try to understand the significance of his success and how it had affected the game.

When Jean-Marc Bosman went to court and won, it caused me to again reflect long and hard as to what the knock on effect would be.

While I was a subscriber to Sky Sports for many years and tipped my cap to the way they presented the game I was forever aware Rupert Murdoch was not likely to be a fan of football and yet again wondered at where this pursuit of satellite domination would take the sport.

The USA has a had a chequered history with football, where on several occasions the Napoleon's of money tried to buy what they considered a product so it could be customised to suit the taste of viewers and advertisers with an entirely different understanding and approach to televised sport.

These businessmen had developed a successful TV sports model with their own home grown games that was based upon exploiting a herd mentality with inconceivable numbers, promoted ‘innocent’ escapism, nativism and an highly unlikely avenue for anyone to succeed in an American dream.

I remember being somewhat uncomfortable that day in 2015 when it was announced on the news the FBI had arrested several high profile FIFA officials – my discombobulation was not with regard to the corruption charges but rather the sole involvement of an internal American law agency in what was essentially a non-American criminal enterprise – where were Interpol?

Three of the biggest clubs in England are owned by Americans and the ‘Golden Boy’ of a ‘Golden’ generation of English footballers has set his tent up in Florida as the new face of the game stateside.

The financial exploitation of the game is in full swing and being led by US corporate vultures and bankers.

And therein lies the problem.

I believe European football changed when mostly egotistical owners believed it was necessary to adopt a profit and loss ethos over and above the reasonable – as set out by the management of professional sport in the US.

It could be said that this became most visible when merchandising was designed to marry itself to personal identity - a cornucopia of uniforms for the masses to openly display a sense of belonging. And all of a sudden ‘Official’ kits costing a pittance to produce in South East Asia were being hawked to fans at a mark up of ten thousand percent or so.

And the fans bought it.

Ticket prices galloped ahead of inflation by ridiculous percentages. Player wages went through the roof and transfer fees – coupled with agents’ commissions – found, to their collective delight, there was no ceiling.

Satellite companies shut out traditional terrestrial 'free to air' national broadcasters with unacccountable fees for exclusive rights.

Catering prices at stadiums became the stuff of usury practice with cognac shrimp con beurre blanc finding its way on to menus for non- football loving patrons of newly constructed corporate boxes.

Meanwhile the next World Cup is to be hosted in one of the richest non-football playing dictatorships in the world.

And the fans bought it.

Then an announcement out of the blue that the ESL was real!

And the fans didn’t buy it, (for the moment)

However it would appear fans are of a mistaken assumption they get anything in return for the excessive amount of money they pay into professional football - other than the ninety minutes promised, overpriced propaganda ridden tat, satellite service and being told little or nothing constructive by so called experts.

The brief history outlined above would, instead, indicate supporters unwavering attendance and acceptance of financial and other abuses will continue as long as fans demand a fix.

It’s an awful comparison but reality tells me street dealers don’t lower the price of heroin for the good of the addict.

So should we really blame the twelve clubs and their owners for the ESL debacle?

The number of highly paid pundits, managers, players, agents and broadcasters who have stood on a recent soapbox of straw to exclaim their abhorrence of the ESL make me laugh and cry in equal measure.

These are the same people who continue to personally milk the game with their outrageous salaries and fees – in most cases for being very average at what they do and in all cases way beyond anything approaching honest. They are not just hypocritical they are a curse on the game and absolutely guilty of legal daylight robbery.

Yet all the people of ‘standing’ in football have targeted a convenient scapegoat in owners and board members whom they believe are somehow more insidious than they are themselves. All of these horrors are most defiantly not the gatekeepers of football but they do uncaringly exploit the professional game for their own personal benefit – given the actual mediocrity of the majority of these parasites they are not just robbing the fans they’re actually robbing the owners as well.

The sport has reached a point where there are few, if any, innocents involved who are not, at least, partly responsible in the creation of the ESL and no amount of sanctimonious slobbering will convince me otherwise.

And the fans should know that by now.

Maybe not!

So, is there a solution to this problem?

No!

[perfectgentlemano]

Elsa’s Three Great Moments

Elsa’s Three Great Moments from the musical, together with comparisons to the movie.

This is a long post that makes direct reference to songs in the Broadway musical.  Here they are online:

1. Dangerous to Dream: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c1zlG69CMuQ 2. Let It Go: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VQVpwNV1Gms 3. Monster: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b0T6N6sevm4 4. Colder by the Minute: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5dwHqzuxJfQ

We might be forgiven for thinking Elsa's position in the world is out of step with who she actually is.  Elsa is a princess, and then a queen; she is the centre of power in her kingdom; she is a woman destined to command her people and to shape the world.  Yet the most beautiful deuteragonist of Frozen spends most of her time being unable to control her own powers and is in turn controlled by others.  Her powers assert themselves accidentally, first striking young Anna, then exposing Elsa during her coronation ball, and then striking Anna again. Even when Elsa retreats to her ice castle, she is mostly passive: she simply waits for her enemies to arrive and drag her back to Arendelle in chains.  And in the end, Hans accrues so much power that he is able to sentence Elsa to death.  Even the resolution happens without Elsa acting: without Anna's sacrifice as an act of true love, both sisters would be dead.  So in Elsa we see a woman who is both oppressed by fate and manipulated by her enemies.

But while this is a dimension to the story in Frozen, it is not the whole story. As I write these words in the Main Branch of the New York Public Library, I have just seen the musical version of Frozen.  And it occurs to me that what makes the musical both more powerful and darker than the movie is that the musical develops and expands Elsa's character.  The Elsa of the movie and the musical are the same person, but the latter draws her out in more detail.  And while Anna is undeniably courageous, it is Elsa's struggle and her flaws that allow her nobility to burn so brightly.  To adapt a fragment of poetic wisdom from Leonard Cohen, the flaws in Elsa's character are "how the light gets in."

Elsa's nobility embodies a key insight: that all things being equal, it is more noble to act than to be acted upon.  In both the movie and the musical, we follow Elsa's transformation from a woman who is acted upon by circumstance and fate, to a woman who becomes free to shape the world as she sees fit.  The three points where this happens correspond, not coincidentally, to the three solos for Elsa in the musical: Dangerous to Dream (where Elsa is crowned), Let It Go (which needs no introduction), and Monster (where Elsa is attacked by her enemies in her ice palace).  In each of these cases, Elsa is fundamentally alone, though there are other people present in Dangerous to Dream and Monster.

The Nobility of Hope: Dangerous to Dream

When we first meet Elsa as an adult, she is preparing for her coronation in For the First Time in Forever.  The initial tension is simple: will she be able to be crowned without being exposed?  In the musical, Elsa sings Dangerous to Dream in the chapel, and reveals an additional tension.  On the one hand, she is intent on concealing the truth; on the other, she has a profound sorrow and longing to let Anna at least know why things are the way they are.  The most poignant moment is when Elsa kneels beside Anna (she addresses Anna in an aside; the audience hears Elsa, but Anna is blissfully ignorant): "I wish I could tell the truth,/ Show you who's behind the door;/ I wish you knew what all this pantomime/ And pageantry was for."  We feel her isolation.  And Caissie Levy-- who plays Elsa in the musical, and who is so charismatic and compelling that it is difficult to imagine anyone else in the role---expresses this isolation with her body language: she inclines her head down and lets her gloved hands drop heavily into her lap.  She knows the burden will never be lifted.

As with the coronation in the movie, the most dramatic moment in Dangerous to Dream happens when Elsa forgets herself momentarily: to take the sceptre and orb, she has to remove her gloves.  This allows the initial tension to reassert itself: will she be exposed?  She berates herself as she hands her gloves to Anna: "Why right now make this mistake?/ How could I let my concentration break?"  She holds her breath, and then we exhale with her as she gloves herself once again. The princess has become a queen.

Elsa's joy at having the initial tension resolved is palpable.  She smiles broadly, and can barely contain her happiness: "I can't stop smiling; how strange./ Does this mean that things are different?/ Could they really change?"  Levy beams, and we hear her voice quiver with excitement and happiness.  This is Elsa's true nobility shining through: she knows who she is and what she wants.  She feels an alignment between her position in the world and who she actually is.

It does not last.  Elsa knows she cannot reveal herself; that even thinking about it is dangerous.  She quickly retreats: "And could I open up the door,/ Finally see you face to face?/ I guess the queen can change the rules but not/ The reasons they're in place."  It is a powerful moment.  She turns away from what she desires most because she wants something even more: to protect her sister and her kingdom.  She struggles. She wants to be free. But her nobility constrains her deepest hopes.

The Nobility of Freedom: Let It Go

Who can forget Let It Go?  In the musical, the first act ends with Let It Go. The last note Levy sings is fortississimo (fff), powerfully sustained, and an octave higher than we would expect from the movie.  The energy is tremendous.  As the note ends, the lights abruptly wink out and the stage goes dark.  The audience is left breathless as the curtain falls and the lights come up.  In the end, Levy takes the best song from the movie and cranks it up to 11.  We cannot help wonder at Elsa, and at Levy's portrayal of her.

There are so many great moments in Let It Go that it is hard to account for them all.  As soon as Elsa uses her powers openly, she becomes who she is meant to be.  The change from her coronation gown to her ice gown is more than just physical.  An awe-inspiring and beautiful sorceress is who Elsa has always been; it was just mostly hidden before.

On stage, the centrepiece of the song, and in some sense the highlight of the whole musical, occurs when Elsa dramatically transforms into her ice gown.  It starts slow: her remaining glove and cape are carried away on the wind.  Then come the icy fireworks. As momentum builds, the stage begins to throb with Elsa's magic, the her ice flares and climbs up the sides of the stage.  Finally we have the transformation.  The costume change in the musical occurs slightly before it does in the movie: at the moment where Elsa reveals her signature braid in the movie, it is at that point in the musical that the change occurs.  Her coronation gown falls away (concealed by mist rolling across the stage) and Levy steps forward majestically in a shimmering gown of blue and white and crystals, with a fine gauze train rippling behind.  The change is stunning.

But what makes the change even more forceful is that this is where Elsa transforms from a woman who is treated rudely by the world to one who shapes the world directly.  The change is prefigured by her hopes in Dangerous to Dream, and here it is. "It's time to see what I can do/ To test the limits and break through," are not the words of a passive victim of circumstances, but of a powerful woman who bursts upon the world.  When she proclaims "Here I stand in the light of day./ Let the storm rage on!" it is clear that she has arrived.  Her nobility manifests itself in freedom.

As an aside, one of the things Levy does not pick up from the movie is Elsa's stomp (when she sings "stand" in "Here I stand!" and builds the ground floor of her castle).  I am not sure why this is, but I speculate that there is too much going on either vocally or in terms of the multiple dresses she is wearing to make this practical.  It might also be that I invest more emotion into Elsa's stomps than does Levy, and so I am more aware of its absence.

The Nobility of Sacrifice: Monster

We have said the musical is darker than the movie, and it is during Monster that the musical is at its darkest.  Neither the song nor the climax of Monster have direct points of contact with the movie.  Monster is the eleven o'clock number in the musical: as the forces close in on our heroine, how will she persevere?  In the movie, Elsa ably fights off her enemies who are trying to kill her; that is, until Hans reminds Elsa that people think of her as a monster.  Elsa pauses, and this gives Hans time to redirect the crossbow shot to bring the chandelier crashing down on her and knock her out.

This is decidedly not what happens in the musical.  Elsa is under attack, but there are many more men assailing her than in the movie.  She seems very aware that the end is near as she sees them coming up the mountain ("It's finally come,/ Come to knock down my door; I can't hide this time,/ Like I hid before.").  But Elsa traps her enemies with ease in a (rotating) prison of icicles.  She is still the woman who sang Let It Go: she does not revert to being subjugated to the desires of others.  But she knows (from Anna, during the reprieve of For the First Time in Forever) that Arendelle is trapped in a deadly winter.  This, more than anything else, means she cannot turn away and hide.  Throughout the song, Elsa struggles with the question of what the right thing to do is.  This is even reflected by the music, which flips back and forth between 4/4 and an unstable 7/8 time (the latter being quite unusual musically, and certainly unusual for a musical).

In a marked divergence from events in the movie, Elsa willingly allows herself to be captured.  In the last stanza, she sings "I cannot be a monster!/ I will not be a monster!/ Not tonight!"  The song ends abruptly, and she announces, "I surrender!"  What precedes this, though, is the darkest and most adult part of the musical.  It is during Monster that Elsa explicitly contemplates suicide: "Father, you know what's best for me,/ If I die, would they be free?"  Elsa then reverses this sentiment in the next verse as she addresses her mother: "Mother, what if after I'm gone,/ The cold gets colder and the storm rages on?/ No!" and follows with an affirmation of life: "I have to stay alive and fix what I've done,/ Save the world from myself,/ And bring back the sun!"  (Incidentally, this is the second time she addresses her dead father; the first is during Dangerous to Dream, where she joyfully exclaims, "Father, I did it!" after being crowned.)

But there is more to unpack here.  First, even though in surrendering Elsa gives herself into the hands of others, it is clear that she does so willing: they are powerless to capture her.  But in surrendering, Elsa is attempting to take control of something more important than what her enemies will do to her: she is attempting to control her own magic and save Arendelle.  Second, although Elsa's address to her mother is seemingly a rejection of suicide, this is not actually the case.  After she addresses her mother, but before she surrenders, she sings that if she is indeed a monster, there is only one thing left to do: "Before I fade to white,/ I'll do all that I can/ To make things right."  "Fade to white" is clearly a veiled reference to suicide if all else fails; if she cannot control her powers, perhaps in the end her death will save her sister and her people and her kingdom.  This is nicely underlined by very short but ingenious musical bridge passage: a seven note musical element in Monster that quotes the Dies Irae.  The Dies Irae (Day of Wrath) is closely associated with the Requiem for the dead.  Death is clearly close on Elsa's heels.

What comes to the fore in Monster is Elsa's primary drive: her willingness to regain control at all costs, including her own life.  She loves her sister, and loves her kingdom.  But Elsa's nobility is such that she is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to save everyone else.

The Climax: Colder by the Minute

Elsa's three great moment have been established at this point, but Colder by the Minute is the climax of the musical and so deserves some comment.  It follows substantially the same pattern as the fjord scene in the movie.  But it is more chaotic (with characters repeatedly running onto stage to sing a few lines, and then running off), more musically unsettled (with an urgency and drive that frequently quotes other pieces, including a minor key version of Let It Go), and scary (as the child covering her eyes next to me in the St James theater would attest).

The action in Colder by the Minute starts with Hans charging Elsa with treason and sentencing her to death.  This Elsa cannot accept.  She is standing between two guards wearing two oversized metal gauntlets, but at Hans's judgement she cries, "What? No!" and throws the gauntlets to the ground.  This might seem strange, since she surrendered in Monster; but it is consistent.  Elsa is not certain that her death will end the winter she is responsible for, and so she is not about to let Hans execute her.

As snow swirls around her, Elsa becomes more desperate: "Can't run, can't stop, can't breath,/ Can't live and I can't die!"  At one point, we have four characters singing one note each of a diminished seventh chord: Anna: "Kristoff!"; Kristoff: "Anna!"; Elsa: "Monster!"; Hans: "Elsa!"  Levy's voice soars above the others.  But what it makes clear is that Elsa's true battle is not with Hans, or with anyone other than herself.  We can almost hear an echo of Anna's accusing words to Hans: "You're no match for Elsa!".  There was never any doubt that Hans was no match for Elsa.

But at this moment, we wonder whether Elsa is a match for Elsa.  At the end of Colder by the Minute, Anna saves Elsa, and Elsa saves the world.  Elsa becomes the woman we always hoped she was.  Elsa marvels at Anna being willing to sacrifice herself; but what is clear from the musical is that Elsa is willing to sacrifice herself to save everyone.  In being so willing, Elsa draws out the various aspects of her nobility: that of hope, that of freedom, and that of sacrifice.  In the musical, Elsa is without match.  And Caissie Levy's portrayal of Elsa makes this matchless queen unforgettable.

[moonlightkitkat]

The Retirement of Queen Bee

Ever since Chloe had revealed herself as the holder of the bee miraculous, Marinette had struggled with what to do. There was no doubt that Chloe made a good Queen Bee, and Pollen had definitely taken to her. With no idea when the need for the bee miraculous would be, and knowing that it was dangerous for Chloe’s identity to be known, she needed to come up with and plan, and soon.

“I don't know what to do Tikki,” she groaned softly, staring up at her computer. She had pulled up Pictures of Queen Bee, many of which selfies that Chloe had put up before she revealed herself, as well as when shed been hiding from her and Chat Noir.

Her little kwami flew up next to her, looking at the monitor and tapping her little paw against her chin. “Still thinking about Queen Bee?”

“How can i not? The Bee miraculous is powerful, especially if she were to learn how to use it multiple times. It's incredibly useful for when we have Akuma’s whose powers deal with touch or something similar. The only problem is that everyone knows Chloe has the miraculous, including Hawk Moth. Plus, with her design being so well known, even if we tried to say we gave it to someone else, they'd all know we were lying. I just don't know what to do..”

“Well.. you could just change her costume you know.”

Change her costume? That could work she supposed… “wait, we can do that?” She asked in confusion, looking down at the little red bug.

Giggling, Tikkki nodded, turning to face her. “Of course! All Miraculous holders can change their costumes!”

Her jaw dropped at the revelation, and she stared at her kwami in disbelief. “You mean you let me run around in a plain skin tight costume for months?? I hate that costume!” She laughed, pulling out her sketchbook, flipping through a few pages before landing on one that was filled with new costume ideas.

“I've been working on these ideas for the last few weeks.” she explained as Tikki flew down to look at the designs, her blue eyes wide with awe.

“You have? I never saw you working on these!” Tikki gasped.

“Of course you haven't,” she chuckled, pulling her knees up on the chair and hugging her legs. “I worked on them when you were asleep. I didn't want to make you feel bad because i didn't like my costume, so I worked on them when you were asleep.”

While the red and black spotted suit was now iconic to the citizens of Paris, she felt very open to them while wearing it. It was uncomfortable, wearing a skin tight suit when fighting and doing interviews. It made her feel exposed, and she didn't like it whatsoever, especially when she caught people staring at her butt.

When she first transformed, she had no clue what she would look like, so it made sense that her costume was so simple. Chat Noir however, had been excited when he transformed for the first time, and he'd told her that he had had a few ideas in mind, inspired from some anime characters. Now that she knew that she could change it, she had many ideas to help conceal her identity, while also remaining recognizable for the people of Paris.

“Tikki, i think it's time we pay Chloe a visit,” she grinned, a plan coming to mind.

Chloe had been relaxing on the roof of her father’s hotel when a shadow fell over her face, blocking the sun that she'd been tanning in. wrinkling her nose, she groaned and kept her eyes closed.

“You’re blocking the sun,” she grumbled, waving her hand to shoot whoever it was away.

“I suppose I am,” a familiar voice chuckled, making Chloe’s eyes snapped open.

“Ladybug!” She gasped in delight, shooting up to look up at her hero. To her surprise though, the superhero looked different, and her eyes widened as she took in her new look.

Her pigtails were longer, going down to her waist with a red ribbon tied to each ponytail, flowing in the small breeze. Her skintight red and black suit was gone, replaced by what reminded her of a kimono, with flowy sleeves that ended at her elbows. The left side overlapped with the right, and it was red with black dots, while the right side was all black. Her hands and arms were the opposite, her right red while her left was black. A red polka dotted sash was tied around her waist, her yo-yo hanging off of the right side. She wore what looked like black leggings, and red flats covered her feet, black dots covering them as well. The only thing that remained of her old costume was her mask, and her dark blue hair.

“Ladybug! You look…. Amazing,” she breathed in awe, her heart fluttering a little as she looked her over once more.

The super heroine blushed, a look she'd never seen on her before, but was adorable nonetheless. “You think so? I’m glad. You're the first person to see me in this.”

Her? The first one to see her in this? Not Chat Noir or one of the other heroes? Not even Alya, who was by far the closest Civilian to ladybug? “I’m honored! Though why wouldn't I be the first one you show this to? My mother is the queen of fashion you know,” she bragged shamelessly.

Giving a fond eye roll, or at least, she hoped it was fond, Ladybug chuckled and nodded. “Believe me Chloe, i know. Care to go on a run with me?”

The blonde’s nose wrinkled, and she squirmed a little at the thought. “Running? But that makes me get all sweaty! Besides, I’m in a swimsuit!” as if it wasn't obvious, she gestured to her bee themed bikini her mother had designed for her.

Ladybug’s expression turned thoughtful, and she nodded. Letting out a sigh of disappointment, Ladybug turned away, reaching into her suit and pulling out a familiar black box.

“I suppose you're right. I’ll just have to tell Pollen that you didn't want to come. I'm sure she’ll understand though..”

Chloe was quick to hop off of the chair, running over to ladybug and offering her a hopeful smile. “Oh you meant as superheroes! I changed my mind, please let me come with you Ladybug!”

Chuckling, the red clad hero nodded, and held the box out to her, which she happily snatched and opened, watching as a small sparkly yellow orb burst from the box, flying around her before taking the form of her adorable fluffy kwami.

“Hello My Queen!”

“Pollen!” she squealed, hugging her little bee close. Shed missed it so much.

“I know you just got back together, but we should get going.”

Nodding her head, she placed the comb into her hair and said the familiar phrase to transform, relishing in the warmth and power that surged through her. A moment later, and she was chasing after Ladybug, laughing as they went from rooftop to rooftop.

There really was nothing like this, she thought to herself as she jumped over the streets of Paris. During moments like this, she could understand why Chat was the way he was, carefree and silly. When you were filled with power like this, free to go wherever you wished with little fear of getting hurt, you felt invincible. She wondered if Ladybug ever felt the same way.

“Hey Queen Bee, wanna race?” Ladybug looked back at her, grinning.

“A race? You're on Ladybug!”

Laughing, she nodded and pointed up to the Eiffel tower. “Alright, first one to the top wins, okay?”

She'd never been the biggest fan of the Eiffel tower, being thrown off by a rock monster and being chased by kissing zombies will do that to you, but she nodded. Ladybug was brave everyday, and she dealt with Akuma’s all the time. If she could be brave.. Then she could too.

Nodding her head in confirmation, she gave Ladybug a nervous smile. “You're on Ladybug.”

With that, they were off, racing across the rooftops, wind rushing through her hair and leaving her breathless. She panted as she ran, but a smile was on her face nonetheless. Her heart raced wildly, and she felt she was going so fast that she'd lose control and fall, but she knew that if she slipped, Ladybug would catch her before she fell.

Running like this was far more fun than it was in gym class, she wasn't thumping around and feeling the force of gravity every time her feet hit the pavement. Here, she was light, weightless, and gravity meant nothing to her. If she closed her eyes, maybe she could pretend she was flying.

Then, just as she thought that, she felt her feet leave the ground, and she sucked in a breath as she was lifted into the air, letting out a terrified shriek.

“Ladybug!” She yelled, catching the girl’s attention. She watched as she looked around in confusion, before finally spotting the yellow superhero scrambling around in the air, flailing helplessly as she went higher and higher.

Faster than she could blink, Ladybug had her yo-yo out and shot it towards her, the toy wrapping around her waist before she was pulled down to the ground, trembling and taking in shaky breaths.

“Are you okay?” Ladybug asked softly, her hands resting on her arms,gripping them a little in case she took off again, her yo-yo still wrapped around Queen Bee’s waist.

Shakily, she nodded her head, looking up and offering a small smile. “S-see? I knew I was the best, c-can you fly?”

She cringed at herself, knowing it was rude, but she was stressed and worried. To her relief, Ladybug chuckled and there was a relieved smile on her face.

She was aware that she wasn’t Ladybug’s choice for the Miraculous, and that she'd never been a fan of her civilian self, but she still wanted to be closer to her, she wanted to be her friend, to make her proud of her.

“No, I can't. Looks like you found a new power Queen Bee,” she smiled. “Think you can make it the rest of the way?”

When she nodded in confirmation, Ladybug let her go, and they continued their race. This time, they made it to the top of the Eiffel tower, Ladybug winning, even though she never expected to win in the first place. Panting softly, Queen Bee sat down on the edge, looking out at Paris.

“Do you remember when you first saved me?” she smiled, pulling her knees to her chest. “You caught me when Iva-I mean… Stoneheart threw me. I never thanked you for that Ladybug.”

Next to her, she saw the red clad hero sits down next to her, chuckling softly. “Who would’ve thought that the screaming grumbling girl I met that day would have been given a miraculous. It’s a shame that it has to end.”

Queen Bee stiffened, knowing that this day would come eventually. “Are… Are you going to take my Miraculous?” She resisted the urge to cover her comb, refusing to act as childish as she did back when she first received the Bee Miraculous.

To her surprise, Ladybug shook her head, looking over at her. “It’s too dangerous to keep Queen Bee active. Your identity is known by everyone in Paris, and that's dangerous. Hawkmoth’s targeted you multiple times, and trust me when I say that it’s impossible not to give him your miraculous when he has you under his control.”

Eyes widened in shock, she gasped and stood abruptly to her feet. “You were Akumatized?!”

The spotted hero blushed, and shook her head. “Not quite. I was almost though. He recalled the Akuma before i could agree though. I was taking my earrings off before he did though. But,” she cleared her throat, standing up and smoothing down her hanfu. “It was still too close of a call. If he hadn't sent it back, he would have the ladybug miraculous.”

Queen Bee paused, processing the information. Ladybug had almost been Akumatized, the hero she looked up to would have been a villain. Even if she could be akumatized, what chance did she have to resist him? “Is that why Queen Bee… is going away?”

“No,” Ladybug shook her head. “Queen Bee is being retired because it's too dangerous for your identity to be known Chloe. So Queen Bee isn't going to exist anymore. Instead-” she added before Queen Bee to interject- “Youre going to take a new role. Chloe Bourgeois, I am granting you to remain the holder of the Bee Miraculous. You will take up a new alter ego, like I did.” “So… I get to keep being the Bee Miraculous hero?” She asked in disbelief, hope swelling in her chest.

Smiling, Ladybug nodded her head. “There's someone i want you to speak with. she’ll help you come up with a new costume and name. She even helped me with my new costume!”

Looking Ladybug over, she couldn't help but feel a little excited. A designer who designed Ladybug’s costume? Who was lucky enough for Ladybug herself to commission them? Curious, she decided to ask her who it was.

With a wide grin, Ladybug happily answered her, and Queen Bee was dumbfounded.

“Dupain-Cheng?!”

[ariainstars]

Why I Don’t Want Ben Solo to Die

Look, I am aware that Kylo Ren is a widely unpopular character with Star Wars fans. And that seems only legitimate, after all he killed his own father.

But reading and listening to fans’ comments, I come across the same judgement all over again: he is simply hated because he’s not badass.

The moment he destroys the ship’s console in a fit of rage it was already clear to most fans: what a baby.

When he took off his helmet so we could see his vulnerable features: that is supposed to be the villain?! He’s neither ugly nor beautiful enough! He looks normal!! (How awful.)

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo after the patricide, obviously traumatized. What a sissy. He did not enjoy the terrible thing that he did. He’s in pain and sorrow because his father is dead by his own hand, which means that he did love him.

A villain who loves someone? Who doesn’t enjoy the terrible things he does? My, my, how uncool is that. What a bad example to kids watching the show.

Ben watches Rey leave with the Falcon, tears on his face. He’s more miserable than ever, kneeling on the ground, literally having hit rock bottom.

But he’s the Supreme Leader now, folks!! Wasn’t that what he wanted all along? Why isn’t he triumphant?!

Ben Solo / Kylo Ren, like Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader is a split personality. Many fans have never seen Ben behind the mask, not even in his interactions with Rey, because hey, if he was secretly a hero, he ought to be badass. And Ben is not badass, the son of Han and Leia is vulnerable and timid. So there can’t be a good guy in there somewhere, am I right?

Sorry, but I can’t help wondering how people can be so blind. It has been staring us in the face from the start that this man is not the story’s villain, that he is on a painful but ultimately successful way to redemption.

And by “redemption” I don’t mean coming back to the Light, but finally finding and sharing the balance the Force and the galaxy so desperately need. It wasn’t for nothing that he had promised his grandfather that he would finish what he started.

A guy I know claims that the wide-spread sympathy for Kylo / Ben (mostly coming for females) springs from the fact that for some unexplainable reason the role was given to Adam Driver, and that the actor’s personal charisma is leading fans to unhealthy and illogical conclusions. He never wondered why Disney gave Driver of all people this role in the first place, and that there actually might be a very good reason for that.

It’s easier to pretend that the saga is ruined, that Lucas has lost his magic touch and Disney is defiling the saga’s miserable remainders, than to sit down and try to think about it for just a minute. To listen, instead of believing to know everything by breaking down a 9-film-3-trilogies story to “it’s always black against white, ka-boom, the white ones win, the end”. Maybe, just maybe, Lucas had a good reason for telling the prequels the way he did and for selling the rights for the sequels to the Disney studios of all places.

One of the things that annoy me most is that so many fans keep calling Ben “Kylo Ren” and simply refuse to accept that actually they are speaking about Ben Solo, the son of Han and Leia and the nephew of Luke. Hence, also, the stubborn and unrelenting “it will turn out that Rey is a Skywalker / Organa / Solo / Kenobi”, even if in the first three cases these fans would actually be expecting her to kill her own cousin or half-brother.

Many of us have grown up with and loved the Star Wars original saga. I can understand that a lot fans are irritated by both prequels and sequels because used to stuff like Jaws, Rocky, Rambo, Alien etc. they of course expect a diluted and warmed-up rehash of the original story and not a development of themes and characters.

But these antis never seem to consider that Ben dying, and dying unrepentant, is the very worst service the saga could do to the original story. It has been said and shown over and over that Rey is a nobody from nowhere. Ben is, thus, indeed the last scion and heir to the heroes from the original trilogy. If he “gets by his deserts”, all that his family suffered and went through was in vain.

His father sacrificing himself - for nothing.

His uncle - ditto.

But to these fans, Kylo’s miserable death would be the only thing that could still halfway reconcile them with the allegedly disastrous, or at least very unsatisfying, sequel trilogy. If they were “real fans” like they claim, in my opinion they rather ought to pray day and night for Ben’s redemption. If they would dare to look beyond their noses, they would realize that Ben has his uncle’s learning, his father’s slyness, his grandfather’s protectiveness and his mother’s empathy and that these qualities are only waiting for the right spark to ignite inside of him and light the galaxy.

I have my own, personal reasons why I’m hoping for Ben Solo to be redeemed, and I’m going to admit that they are pretty personal.

Yes, I like Ben Solo and I like Adam Driver: not because of their pectorals and arm muscles (although they’re nice to look at 😊) but mostly because I identify with them. I want Ben to change and be happy and I hope for Adam to make a marvelous job of this role. I know he and the rest of the crew won’t be capable to convince everyone, but I do hope that they will make Ben Solo’s character, life and development understandable to as many viewers as possible.

I don’t want Ben Solo to fail and die miserably, unrepentant.

Nor do I want him to become Rey’s pet, only good enough to have kids with her so that she will finally have her own family.

I don’t want Ben Solo to die “because that whiny sissy deserves it”.

I don’t want him to die because he’s sensitive and “a real guy isn’t sensitive”.

I don’t want him to die because “he’s done so much evil and doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.”

I don’t want him to die by Rey’s hand because she’s badass so whatever she does, it’s ok.

I don’t want him to die because “he’s not good-looking so he can’t be the hero”.

I want the last scion of the Skywalker saga, the oversensitive, doubtful, patient, emphatic, funny-looking Ben Solo to prove to the world at large that you can be a hero and find your place in your own place, as a man, even if you don’t come up with any of the common prerequisites for a hero in the common sense of the word.

I want him to show the galaxy and the audience at large that it’s never too late, that you can change, grow beyond your wounds and weaknesses, find your own place among humanity and a happy ever after.

I want him to be a role and an encouragement for everyone like me who is introverted, insecure, thoughtful, sensitive and overall not badass.

For the same reason, I was happy when I saw that my theory that Rey would take a plunge into the Dark Side was founded. Rey is being mistaken by most fans as the true heroine of the saga because we see the story unfold mostly from her point of view, so we tend to identify with her and to overlook the arrogance, stubbornness and aggressiveness that were already hinting at her personal development.

I hope that Episode IX will finally make abundantly clear down to the last fan that even the most pure and intelligent and well-meaning heroine can still go down a dark path. (Louder for the people in the back: Anakin and Ben had all chance to be heroes and they were turned evil by the events around them.)

I want the Star Wars saga to end on the note “you don’t have to be badass to save the world.”

I want Love to be the triumphant end note.

I want vulnerability and empathy to be portrayed, in this action science-fiction world-wide known saga, as qualities that do not necessarily make you weak but can make you strong if you’re in the right place and employ them in the right way, instead of denying them and secretly admiring who has no qualms with going over corpses.

I know that many, many fans will never have compassion for Vader or Anakin. For some reason, if someone is frightening, they are likely to bow down before him and to think he’s right with everything he does, even killing and torturing.

Most fans hated the prequels’ depiction of Anakin Skywalker because he wasn’t a fearsome person like Vader but so desperately human.

They similarly hate Kylo Ren and wish him to end in the most horrible way because he’s conflicted and suffering instead of “enjoying” his crimes.

I know I’m being mean now: but I really hope that the expectations of these fans for “the badass wins” will explode in their faces when Episode IX comes out.

I predict that countless viewers all over the world will howl to the moon in frustration, claim that Disney ruined the franchise for good and sign petitions to start everything all over again.

But I hope that viewers who are less prejudiced will listen with their heart and find confirmation for what, in Lucas’ own words, the saga is all about: compassion and family.

And I also hope that future generations who will watch the saga on the whole, in particular boys and young men, will grow up with the message that you don’t have to be canonically handsome, formidable, violent and cruel in order to be a hero, but that loyalty and belonging to something bigger than yourself are more important; that a true hero is not someone who saves the world all by himself but who overcomes himself and creates a better place for other people and together with other people.

I don’t need to watch the lonesome hero, the cowboy riding away into the sunset. There are more than enough action films like that. Let Star Wars be a glorious exception for that cliché. I want it to give encouragement to people who, like me, are not cool and badass but for this are not useless, weak and have nothing to give to the world. If the saga ends the way I hope, I will assuredly not sign petitions for some of its chapters to be removed from canon but send George Lucas personally an enormous bouquet of flowers together with a card offering him all of my admiration and gratitude.

Do it for us, Kylo, Ben, Adam, George, please. Show the world that it’s always love that ought to win, not violence. Prove in a convincing way to whoever watches the saga that emotionality and doubts are not weaknesses but virtues, and that you can be a worthy and happy person without being cruel, vicious and creepy. I’m right here rooting for you and waving your flag.

See you in December. 😊

[tsuki-chibi]

Passionfruit (November) Day 23: Warning

Read the whole fic on AO3: Passionfruit

————

“Okay, how are we going to find out where Timebreaker went?” Nino asked.

“I bet people are posting to the Ladyblog,” Alya said, whipping her phone out. She opened up her browser and quickly navigated to the latest comment section, but disappointingly there was nothing. She thought for a split second and then smirked, making a new post that asked her readers share Timebreaker’s location. They wouldn’t fail her.

“Anything?” Ladybug asked.

“Not yet, but I’m sure there will be something soon,” Alya said, crossing her arms over her chest. It was really weird to look at Ladybug now that she knew who was lurking behind the mask.

Honestly, Alya felt kind of stupid for not having realized it before. The pigtails, the blue eyes, the freckles, the smile,the petite stature... and it wasn’t just that. Ladybug was clever and courageous and creative, all traits that Alya had come to admire in Marinette. Then there was all the missed classes, the weird and often lame excuses, the unexplained absences... it all made so much sense.

It also made sense to think that Marinette and Adrien were soulmates. Of course they were. There had been an unnatural closeness between the two of them from the day that Alya met them, but she’d never thought to question them about it too closely because she’d never known any differently. Now she realized that closeness stemmed from their bond. Clearly the two of them had it at least partway open.

The only thing that didn’t make sense was why Marinette hadn’t told her. Alya drummed her fingers on her arm, wondering if it would be rude to ask. It probably would be. But then again, who knew what would happen once Ladybug used her miraculous cure? If this was Alya’s only chance to know, she wanted to take it.

“While we’re waiting, can I talk to you for a moment?” Alya asked Ladybug.

“Alya,” Nino said, giving her a warning look.

Alya ignored him, staring intently at her best friend/the heroine of Paris, and finally Ladybug nodded. They moved away from Nino and Chloé, until Alya thought that they were at enough of a distance where they could speak privately. This wasn’t really a conversation they wanted anyone eavesdropping on.

“What do you want to know?” Ladybug said quietly.

“Honestly? I want to know why you didn’t tell me,” Alya said, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice.

Ladybug sighed. “Alya, I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell anyone.”

“You told Chloé,” Alya pointed out, which was perhaps the thing that hurt most of all. Marinette and Chloé weren’t friends by any stretch of the imagation. They tolerated each other because of Adrien, but that was about it as far as Alya could tell.

“No, I didn’t. Chloé found out Adrien was Chat Noir, and she put two and two together on her own. She knew we were soulmates,” Ladybug explained. “No one is supposed to know who we are. It’s too dangerous.”

“Then you told Chloé you were soulmates,” Alya pressed.

Again, Ladybug denied that. “Chloé was there when Adrien and I first met. She knew what Adrien’s words were and she heard me say them. She witnessed our bond forming. There was no way we could’ve convinced her that it was anything other than what it was. Believe me, if I thought there was even a chance I could have, I would’ve.”

Alya frowned. “But... why did you keep it a secret?”

“I just told you no one is supposed to know our identities,” Ladybug said, exasperated.

“No! I meant about you and Adrien being soulmates. The day we met, you lied to me and said you hadn’t met your soulmate yet. And you were there when Nino and I got our bond, and -”

“Alya!” Ladybug broke in sharply. “Look, it’s nothing personal, okay? Adrien and I decided to keep our bond a secret for several reasons. It had nothing to do with you. I couldn’t tell you the day we met because it’s not just my secret to share, and we didn’t know if we could trust you.”

“But now I’m your best friend!” Alya exclaimed. “Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Ladybug sighed. “Of course it does. But we’ve only known each other for a few months,” she said, her voice gentling. “And there are parts of my life that are bigger than you.”

That stung more than Alya wanted to admit. Quietly, she said, “So you were never going to tell me? Ever?”

“I don’t know,” Ladybug admitted. “Probably, one day, when Adrien and I had the chance to talk about it. Keeping a secret about a bond... it’s hard. Pretending that I don’t know the things going through Adrien’s head, that I don’t hear his and Nino’s conversations, it sucks.”

“Wait,” Alya said, holding up a hand. “You hear his conversations? Just how developed is your bond?” She knew it was strong because of Ladybug’s reaction to Chat’s death, but this was more than she’d anticipated.

“I don’t know exactly. We’ve never been in for tests, obviously. But...” Ladybug shrugged. “Adrien and I have no shields or blocks between us.”

Alya’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?” she exclaimed. “You don’t have any shields at all?” She could understand why they didn’t have blocks, as though were constructed by an outside source - usually a paid professional. But anyone could create their own shields to keep some privacy in their own minds. She didn’t think she’d ever heard of anyone who didn’t have any shields.

Ladybug shook her head. “No. I’m not even sure how to make a shield, to be honest.”

“That’s...” Alya trailed off, dumbfounded. As much as she’d looked forward to finding her own soulmate, finding Nino had kind of freaked her out. Slamming up shields had been an instinctive reaction on both their parts. She couldn’t fathom meeting a perfect stranger and giving them complete access to her mind!

“What? Is that weird?” Ladybug said, looking uncomfortable.

“It’s... well, it’s not normal,” Alya said, shaking her head. “I mean... you do you, I guess. I just...”

She looked, really looked this time, at Ladybug, taking in the pallor of Ladybug’s face aside from her flushed cheeks. Ladybug’s eyes were too-bright, seemingly glistening with tears at all moments. Sweat beaded across her forehead. The usual charismatic energy that surrounded her was sorely lacking, replaced by a dull emptiness. She didn’t feel like Ladybug anymore.

“I know I’ve been keeping secrets and I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Ladybug said quietly.

All at once, Alya felt extremely guilty. This was the very last thing Ladybug needed right now when she had just lost her soulmate, and Alya was being a horrible friend. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her best friend, pulling Ladybug into a tight hug. Ladybug tensed in surprise.

“Don’t apologize, Mari. It’s like you said, you had your reasons. I’m sorry Chat is gone,” Alya whispered.

All at once, Ladybug melted against her and gave a choked sob. “I miss him so much, Alya. I feel so... so empty. I - I can’t even put it into words, but I don’t know how much longer I can bear it.”

“You won’t have to, because you’re going to get him back,” Alya promised, hugging Ladybug tighter. The thought of losing Adrien was awful, but the thought of losing Marinette was too terrible for Alya to contemplate. And if they didn’t get Adrien back, there was a good chance that’s exactly what would happen.

Alya was not going to let that happen.

She turned her head, looking over at Nino and Chloé. Chloé was sitting on a bench, and - Alya blinked in surprise - she was pretty sure that Chloé was crying. Nino, on the other hand, was watching Alya and Ladybug. He caught her eye and raised a questioning eyebrow, and the shields between them were still raised and impassable but Alya still hoped he’d pick up on her desire for him to check the Ladyblog post she’d made.

And maybe it was just good fortune, maybe Nino was just that smart, or maybe they were growing ever closer to being on the same wavelength, but Nino’s confusion cleared and he pulled out his phone. He spent a moment with his head bowed, fingers moving over the screen, while Alya rubbed Ladybug’s back and tried to keep her friend from falling apart completely.

Then Nino shouted, “There’s a response! Someone said Timebreaker is only four blocks from here, heading towards Ponts des Arts!”

“Alright, then what are you waiting for?” Chloé demanded, surging to her feet and wiping at her cheeks.

“Right.” Ladybug pulled away from Alya. Her face was streaked with tears, but she reached for the yoyo at her side.

Alya stopped her. “Hang on.”

“Alya -” Ladybug began.

“I just wanted to say that I’m really proud of you,” Alya said quickly. “I should’ve said that first, not interrogated you. I’m sorry. You do so much for this city and I was being selfish.” She took Ladybug’s hands in hers. “You and Chat are incredible, Marinette. For all that you do, and everything that you’ve been through, thank you.”

“Yeah, Dude,” Nino said, smiling at Ladybug. “You guys are awesome. Would you - would tell Adrien that I’m proud of him?” His voice cracked a little when he spoke Adrien’s name.

“I will,” Ladybug whispered, blinking as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Okay, okay, can we get on with it?” Chloé said.

“Honestly, Chloé,” Alya said, but Ladybug snorted and shook her head.

“No, Chloé is right. I’ve dawdled long enough. Thanks for your help, you guys. I appreciate it.” She gave them all a very tiny smile and then took her yoyo in hand.

Alya watched in amazement as Ladybug threw that yoyo out; it wrapped around a distant point and easily pulled Ladybug off her feet and into the air. The sheer grace with which she moved was awe-inspiring to watch, particularly now that Alya knew the clumsy Marinette was behind that mask. Her heart filled with pride: she had the coolest best friend.

“Well, don’t just stand there!” Chloé said, storming by.

“Wh-what?” Alya stammered, shocked. Nino looked equally confused.

“Come on! Ladybug might need our help,” Chloé snapped, breaking into a run.

“Sometimes I think I’ve got Chloé all figured out, and then she goes and does stuff like this,” Nino said, scratching his forehead.

Alya merely shook her head. “She’s not wrong. Let’s go!”