#but there’s only six episodes left so i don’t think my questions will be answered

[trashmaj]

so if the universe reset in tua and season 4 is a whole new timeline without powers

did the commission reset as well?

do we have to deal with the handler again??

hazel and cha cha too??

the BOARD????

[cloveroctobers]

OCTOBER PROMPTS 🦇 — 11. Evan “Buck” Buckley

A/N: my man, my man, my man!! Hopefully we get to see you soon and I can actually get the nerve to finish season six—I only have maybe 4 episodes left? Then I’ll dive into 9-1-1 lone star while we wait. Regardless I thought this would be funny and a little creepy to write so here we are! Enjoy 😉

Synopsis: Buck loves the new house you live in together and although you’re not crazy about it…you decide to pull a prank on your boyfriend to liven up the place that perhaps leads to you opening doors for a uninvited guest?

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE & HERE & I’m using: A buys a crappy sound machine and plants it in the house. While it plays ghost noises and spooky sounds, A hopes they can convince B that the place is haunted. + “Come on, if there was ever a time for me to be superstitious it’s definitely now.”

*GIF BELONGS TO: @911edit

<- read my previous anthology prompt here.

꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎ ꩜

“BABE!” Buck yelled into your ear after pulling the headphone away.

You flinch as you stand up straight from the kitchen island and away from your overnight oats, “Yes?” You press with raised brows.

Buck waves his hands around, “you don’t hear that?”

“Hear what?” You question, pausing the podcast and resting your headphones to lay around your neck, “I didn’t even know you were home.”

Buck immediately frowns, “don’t tell me that. That means anybody could be hiding in here and you wouldn’t even know because of those stupid things.”

“You bought them for me.”

“Yeah to use at the gym and keep those meathead douchebags away while I’m not around.” Buck explained which made you smirk with a roll of your eyes.

��Listen,” Buck said again as you moved around the modern kitchen (that you hated) to place the now empty bowl and spoon into the sink.

Placing a hand on your hip you glance around the new open floor plan home that you and Buck moved into together. The modern contemporary home was such a contrast from the outside to the inside with its exterior being too boxy for your liking but you enjoyed the black exterior and the courtyard and pool. The inside was much lighter, from white to cream walls, along with the high ceilings which made the home feel bigger and instantly sold Buck who believed this would be your forever home.

You on the other hand were not convinced but nobody could ever say you weren’t open to trying new experiences. It’s only been four months settling in and there were still some things you wanted to change like: mainly the wall colors but Buck was convinced furniture and decor could replace that urge.

Sighing you say, “I don’t hear anything Ev,” you tap the sink on, “maybe you should lay down? Was it a rough day?”

“No, it was a breeze.” Buck fanned his hand along before resting them both flat against the White Island counter, “…maybe it’s a bird or something?”

“Well what exactly did it sound like?”

“Like scratching. Kinda like Pearla when she tries to sneak into our room at night,” Buck answers before glancing around, “matter of fact, where is she?”

“At the groomers. She won’t be ready until after four,” you inform Buck of the whereabouts of your old English sheepdog.

Buck dips his head, looking at his watch, “it’s 3:42.”

“Shoot! time does really get away from me,” you widen your eyes as you quickly finish washing the dishes before spinning around to shove it into the dishwasher.

Buck nods his head, “I’ll drive.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Buck shrugs his shoulders, “it’s a nice crisp day and…I don’t want you having any accidents considering your hearing isn’t the best right now.” He playfully lifts the headphones from your neck to place down while you roll your eyes again.

You lean towards him smug, “ah, I see what this is…you’re scared to stay here by yourself because of this imaginary noise you’re hearing.”

“I’m not! And i don’t think it’s in my head.” Buck defended while you went over to the couch to shove your hoodie back over your gym attire.

“Uh huh,” you say as Buck scoffs ready to plead his case as you lock up the home behind you.

The next time Buck hears the noise is around 3am when you’re both tucked away at the back of the home in bed. It’s not a pleasant sound as his eyes snap open to the darkness of the room, the moaning and creaking almost sounds like a mixture of a whale and the cracking of a ship that meets the bottom of the ocean. Buck knows he should stop clicking on random things on YouTube before bed that leads him down a deep dive but this isn’t the first time he’s hearing that groaning sound.

It was brief before on his day off while you were at work and he was lounging on the couch watching some twisted documentary about Russ McKamey. Buck tried to brush it off as something that was on screen since it stopped when he paused the television but he couldn’t hear it while watching again. Was this truly in his head? He started to think but here he was— technically—the third time hearing the noise for much longer.

When he peaks over at you with your back to him, he lightly grips your shoulder and leans over to see that you’re still fast asleep and sits up in bed. By the edge of the bed, he spots Pearla on the floor with her fluffy ears perked up and Buck nods his head.

“You hear it too, girl? I know I’m not going crazy!” Buck whisper-yells to the dog who’s definitely more alert than you are.

Buck’s crawling out of bed with Pearla at his ankles, taking a deep inhale he opens the bedroom door to peak down the left of the hallway towards the front of the new home and only sees darkness. Pausing for a moment he listens for the noise again but the home is eerily quiet.

Buck stands there for at least two minutes before he considers closing the door but the creaking starts up again, sending Pearla flying out of the room barking as she tries to locate the noise first.

“Pearla!” Buck yells for the dog who disappears down the hallway and out of sight.

He blows a whistle with his fingers to get her attention, stepping into the hallway now but Pearla is nowhere to be seen. When he glances over his shoulder back in your direction, you’re still in fact sound asleep. Usually you’re the light sleeper out of the pair but somehow in this early morning, you’re having a grand time in dreamland.

Reaching for the doorknob, Buck slowly pulls the door closed with a soft click and begins taking the path to the main areas of the home. Pass the three bedrooms and the half bath on the left, Buck scans the dining room, kitchen, and living room to find it all empty. Confusion is written all over Buck’s face as he stands in the center of the home, hands on his hips as he’s searching but…for what?

The groaning picks up again just as a touch goes to his hips. Buck yelps, whipping around to face you who’s actually holding their composure. Buck holds onto his chest ready to let out a exhale but the look you cast behind your shoulder then back to meet Buck’s island water eyes you say, “the house is haunted.”

“What?” Buck let’s out a full exhale, trying to calm his heart rate.

You swallow, hands still holding onto Buck’s hips, “I hear it too.”

He tightens his jaw, ears picking up on the noise but now it’s the loudest it’s ever been, making you grip your very sensitive ears.

“Wait here,” Buck suggests, hands flexing as he picks up a fire poker that was left leaning against the industrial bookcase from his old apartment, “it sounds like it’s coming from the laundry room.”

You huff, feet slapping against the floor as you latch right onto the back of his shirt, “hell no! You’re not leaving me behind in this sketchy house.”

“Ohhh,” Buck sing songs, “now it’s sketchy but when I said it’s been weird lately you tell me I need a nap.”

You hiss, “be quiet, we’re supposed to be stealthy when sneaking up on a ghost.”

“I wasn’t aware that you had experience with the paranormal.” Buck looks back at you with a frown before slowly leading the way back towards the bedrooms.

“I’ve seen ghost whisperer you know?”

“…am i supposed to know what that is?”

“It’s a show Maddie and I are currently binge watching, now ssh!” Your attempt to silence the man was met but Buck used this silence to steady his heartbeat.

If this house was truly haunted then it was going to be hard to explain this to the insurance company when he’s done tearing up the place.

And we all know Buck’s not afraid of some action. His arm goes out to shield you as you both slide up against the wall opposite of the door that leads into the small laundry room. Buck couldn’t hear Pearla’s barking anymore and she did go in the opposite direction so he hoped whatever this is, didn’t harm your beloved dog.

“On my count,” Buck signals peering at you shortly to make sure you understood where he was going with this, “three…two…”

Of course he didn’t say “one” as he pushed the door back, revealing the very normal looking laundry room. Everything appeared in tack as Buck stepped into the room, hand reaching out to shove some clothes on the rack aside and then checking the cabinets above the washer and dryer.

“Huh,” Buck hummed before pulling the appliances open to find them both empty, “nothing.”

When he turns to face you, you’re hugging yourself but your brows are still furrowed in disbelief. He reaches to flick the light off and steps towards you to exit the room but a screeching noise picks up yet again. Instead of it sounding like it’s in the laundry room, it’s appears as if it’s coming from back towards the front of the home.

“No freaking way!” Buck yells, bringing the fire poker up like a bat as he runs down the hallway.

You scream at his back, “stop running towards danger you idiot!”

Buck ignores you, following the sound right to the pantry door, which is closed shut. He wastes no time, pulling the door back to reveal a gray and white Pearla fleeing from the room with a whine. Buck almost recoils at how loud the sound is coming from the pantry but steps in anyway, looking around the spacious storage room until the door shuts right behind him.

He tries the knob but to no avail, he turns back to the dark room, dropping down into a push up motion to check underneath the shelves. The thirty year old was just waiting to see something further unusual but got back to his feet just to be shoved towards the shelves.

Buck steadies his hands out in front of himself, catching himself against the shelves but not without the goods crashing onto the floor. He spins back around as the cracking noise picks up, almost making his teeth ache at the sound but that doesn’t stop him from swinging the fire poker wildly in the air. He’s not sure when the poker breaks one of the shelves but he spots a flash of red way at the top behind a acrylic container.

Panting Buck begins latching and crawling up on the shelves and swipes a hand across the top shelf, knocking the contents onto the floor to spot some sort of machine that suddenly shoots a weak steam of fog his way, followed by the creaking sound. Buck presses on top of it which sends out that screeching sound that makes Buck slip at the upsetting noise.

He’s shouting your name once he aims his footing right, landing back on it but not without the machine slipping right towards his face and knocking Buck off balance.

“I’m just glad it’s not broken,” you say for what felt like the thirteenth time as you hold the door open; ten am later that morning, leading your boyfriend back into your shared home that Buck secretly didn’t want to come back to.

The bandage on his bruised and cut up nose was prominent but Buck still sported a small smile on his face. “See what happens when you try to prank me. Now you have to tell everyone that I did in fact fight a ghost.”

The pantry door was jammed by the time you got to Buck, hearing him calling your name and Pearla barking for your attention. It wasn’t something it commonly did but you just deemed it as your anxiety getting the best of you, struggling to get it open. You were in on a bet with Chimney and Hen since Eddie (surprisingly) and Bobby didn’t want to participate—that you could convince Buck that your new home was haunted.

However you weren’t expecting for him to go investigating and get smacked in the face with the crap ghost machine you purchased off eBay. You were just happy that you weren’t the cause of Buck almost breaking his nose (you didn’t intend for the machine to slide off the shelf) but everything else you’ll take responsibility for.

“Sit,” you ordered Buck by his arms who laughed at you going into your nurturing role, “you know they’ll never believe that right?”

Buck kicks his feet up along the couch with a sigh, “but it could be a plot twist x2 with there actually being some haunted vibes going on. I mean…you did set me up.”

You pout as stood in the kitchen, “it was supposed to be all in good fun but then you had to go Rambo—being Buck. Did I mention how sorry I am?”

Buck laughs, “it’s just a scratch,” as Pearla jumps up beside him to rest her head in his lap, “it’ll heal and I can take a joke but just know…you did start a prank war for the rest of this fall season. You have no idea what you just unleashed.”

You didn’t like how Buck was rubbing his hands together in wicked joy but you’ll learn to deal with it.

“Yeah that’s what Maddie said,” you mumbled as you pulled open the fridge, “so before you come up with those ideas…I can make you your favorite breakfast.”

Buck grins, “that’ll be nice but I’d prefer a cuddle first.”

“Is your head hurting?”

Buck lolls his head, “I told you babe, I feel fine. Now get over here.”

You make a cross motion as you cautiously step over to Buck who shakes his head at you with a grin. Once you’re close enough, he reaches for your sweatshirt to yank you to his other side since Pearla made her claim on his left.

“Now that I know I’m not going crazy anymore, I can really enjoy this house with my two favorite people.” Buck curls a arm around you and rests the other along the back of the couch after patting Pearla���s head.

Resting your head against Buck’s chest you sink into the comfort each other. However that doesn’t last long with the sound of glass shattering from the mirror that once hung on the wall above the wooden chest that contained the record player on top of it.

The silence is almost deafening now as the both of you watch the pieces of the mirror decorate the floor.

Buck says, “Come on, if there was ever a time to be superstitious it’s definitely now.”

You knew a broken mirror was not a good sign and Buck started to feel like it wasn’t really all in his head as the flashes of what happened earlier this morning played back in his head. It couldn’t just be the trash machine you bought whenever and Buck really wasn’t that clumsy to trip over his feet so what gives?

Spookiness can be fun but Buck could always sense when things didn’t exactly feel right anymore? He believed in the full moon, mercury in retrograde and he strongly believed in when things weren’t just a good scare.

“So you agree, we should go house hunting?”

Again? Buck hated the process when he was on his own but with you it felt nice, like there was a definite future to look forward to.

“Yeah,” Buck states, “I think I’m done ghost hunting for awhile.”

“Hell yeah you are.” You respond, keeping your eyes towards the area just in case you saw something else that didn’t sit right with you; while reaching for your phone.

The both of you didn’t bother to debate over where you would be escaping to for the night as you searched your contacts for your realtor and fast.

꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎꩜⌖ㄨ࿔⚡︎ ꩜

Continue with my fall anthology prompts here.

[quack-quack-snacks]

Time Will Tell - Chapter 9

My Time Will Tell Masterlist

My Cha Hyun-su Masterlist

My Navigation and Masterlist

The Time Will Tell Glossary

Warnings: Hyun-su being sweet with the kids, Hyun-su having a monster episode. Word Count: 1,113

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“Where’s appa? And noona?” Yeong-su questioned his older sister tearfully. His nose sniffled every few seconds as the tears refused to stop. “I’m scared. Su-yeong, it’s too dark in here.”

“It’s okay,” Su-yeong tried to console her brother. “We’re gonna be alright. Unnie will come and save us.”

“And appa?” Yeong-su asked again. Both kids were too young to truly understand how fatal the fall of their father was, Yeong-su only recently even learning what death was. Su-yeong had hope for her father’s safety, one that was born of childhood innocence and a need for guidance. 

“Yeah, he’ll be back soon,” she reassured. Her own tears soaked her cheeks and she cried quietly, trying to stay strong for her younger brother but only being able to do so for so long. She was only nine. She wasn’t supposed to be doing all of this at such a young age. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Both kids flinched and stayed quiet. Su-yeong pointed her flightlight at the door when it knocked again. She could just barely see the silhouette of a man through the glass but didn’t want to risk it. Not until she heard him speak. 

“Kids. I’m here to help you. I know you’re scared but I’m not a monster. I’ll get you to safety,” he promised. Su-yeong got up and walked to open the door, cautiously at first but then opening it fully for the stranger to enter. 

He walked in, looking at the two kids and sighing in relief when he saw they were unharmed. He helped set up some candles to start with before the three of them sat around the wax fires on the floor. 

“Please, sir,” Yeong-su was the first to interrupt the silence that had settled over them like a blanket. “Do you think you can save our dad?” He asked. His voice was devoid of any hope but he still desperately needed the answer to be a yes. 

“What?” Hyun-su asked them, momentarily forgetting how their father fell from out their window on the 12th floor. 

“Our dad fell down the building and hit the ground,” the young boy explained. 

Hyun-su looked down at his lap, wishing he didn’t have to be the bearer of bad news for these two kids. “I know.”

“Maybe he’s still-” Su-yeong said hopefully only for that hope to be crushed by his next words. 

“I’m afraid nobody can survive a fall from the 12th floor,” he confessed. Both kids started to sob softly, mourning the loss of their father. Hyun-su took a moment before trying to lighten their spirits with some good news, no matter how small that news was in comparison to everything else. “There’s a man on the 14th floor that has a lot of food for both of you. You’re hungry, aren’t you?” Both kids nodded in agreement and he continued. “You don’t want to stay here by yourselves, am I right?” 

“But what about noona?” Yeong-su asked quickly, his voice wobbly from the tears he continued to shed. 

“What?” Hyun-su asked.

“What about our sister? What if she comes back here?” Su-yeong elaborated. Hyun-su took a moment before coming up with an idea. 

“What if we left her a note to tell her where we went? That way she can head there too if she comes back,” he offered. Both kids looked content with that idea and he smiled softly, trying to reassure them. 

“In order to get there, we’ll have to go into the hallway. There might be monsters,” he continued with the explanation of his plan. “How old are the two of you?”

“I’m nine…” Su-yeong started. “And my brother is six years old.”

He looked between the two of them before smiling softly again. “You know, those are perfect ages to fight monsters,” he assured. Another moment of silence went by as he looked between the two of them before reaching over to gently squeeze the younger boy’s shoulder since he was still sobbing. “Don’t worry, okay? I���m gonna protect you, I promise.”

He ignored how his hands shook when he promised them that. He wasn’t lying about that promise, he would protect them no matter what. No matter what it took, he wouldn’t let any harm come to them. 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t scared though. 

After placing a sticky note on the wall directly next to the front door of the apartment, Hyun-su led them out of their home, down the hallway, and to the entrance of the stairs. After opening the door and letting them go through first, he took a step to join them until he felt his legs freeze in place. A jolt of pain rushed through his body but the one he focused on the most was the one on his right forearm, right over his scars. His eyes widened and his breath staggered when he saw a hand - that had to be his but was not one of the two attached to his body - run over his arm. 

‘Protect them?’ He heard his own voice question him. The voice sounded like it was spoken directly into his ear, as if a clone of himself was standing behind him and whispering it like a secret. ‘Is that what you want to do?’

He stumbled, dropping his weapon and falling against the wall. The same type of nosebleed he had gotten hours ago in his apartment happened again. Blood streamed out in an almost comically exorbitant amount. It stained his skin and his clothes, soaking everything within its path. His eyes squeezed shut, images flashing through his mind without his consent and making his head pound. 

He knew what this meant. 

He knew this meant he was infected.

He just wished it came after he had saved the two kids in front of him. 

“Are you okay?” Su-yeong asked cautiously when she didn’t hear or see him following them.

“Get away from me,” he warned, his voice strained. “Leave, now!” And he slammed the door to the stairs shut, separating them from him. 

“You always liked to act cool in front of the weak, didn’t you? Now look what happened,” the other version of himself asked. Other voices, ones he knew from the past, bounced around and echoed through his head. 

“It was my fault…”

“Fucking dumbass! Haha!”

“Come out!”

“Hyun-su? I’m not related to him! Who told you that?”

“Just let it go, please Hyun-su?”

“It was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Bastard!”

“It was your fault!”

“Just let it go, please Hyun-su?”

“You’re a sad case. It was unfair.”

“Just die already.”

“It was unfair.”

“It was unfair.”

“It was unfair.”

[frozenjokes]

Penguins

TW: Grian has major depressive disorder and is going through a severe depressive episode. There are allusions to suicidal ideation, thoughts that are not explored in detail, but are present in this fic. No one is physically harmed, no one tries to harm anyone else, and the themes are mostly hopeful.

“Hey,” Scar waved as he ducked inside Grian’s apartment, a wreck as it was, but Grian didn’t care to clean up, “How are you holding up?”

“Hey,” Grian mumbled from his place on the couch, bundled up in six or seven different blankets. He didn’t entirely know how to answer that question, but Scar could probably assume not good since Grian had asked him to come over in the first place. They hadn’t seen each other since returning from the island, nearly a week now, but not from Scar’s lack of trying.. mostly. They probably both could have stood to try and speak to each other more. “I don’t know,” he decided, finally, “Depressed. But that’s normal. Maybe a little more depressed than average.”

“Hm. Want to go to the zoo?”

Grian snorted a short laugh, but shook his head, “I most definitely do not want to go to the zoo.”

“Darn. What about a hug?”

“I could use a hug.”

Grian tried to sit up, though he struggled within the confines of his self imposed prison, Scar helping him upright with a small chuckle and wrapping him in a hug given unconditionally to anyone that might need it. Grian closed his eyes. It didn’t have to matter that things were rocky between them, not right now. It didn’t have to matter because it didn’t matter to Scar, he would drop anything in an instant for anyone, but..

Grian wanted it to matter. He needed it to matter because he was so tired of this mattering, he didn’t want his world to be in so many pieces anymore, worsened by him and Scar continuing the stomp on the glass. He was too broken to go on like this.

“I don’t like the way things are between us right now.” Grian felt Scar tense around him, but pushed on through a choked up windpipe, “I was really confused about you. I like you, I like you so much, and I haven’t been able to stop, nor do I really want to. I know you feel.. it’s not that you don’t feel the same, you just feel those things differently, and I thought I knew what ‘differently’ meant, but I’ve realized I don’t really know anything at all. And I want to. I want to know.”

Scar was quiet for a long moment, the tension not leaving his arms, “I don’t know if I’m understanding. Could you be clearer?” The meek way he spoke was dizzying, and Grian was relieved he had someone to carry him.

“I want to know how you’d feel about dating. Don’t spare my feelings. Please. Just tell me how it is for you.”

“Okay,” Scar breathed, wavering, like the idea seized his heart just as completely as Grian was paralyzed under its weight. “I don’t mind it, dating. I like it, I do like it, but with you I’m afraid it might be just as stressful as whatever’s happening between us right now. Still, I don’t want to stop doing what we’re doing now. I know it’s bad for me. It’s bad for you. But I like you. I really like you, even when I’m angry at you. Even when it’s bad for me.”

“I don’t think I can carry on doing what we’re doing right now. I’m seriously.. I’m not in good shape, Scar. I’m really not in good shape. And it’s not just about you. It’s not even about Mumbo, my hand. Those things are there, piling up on the massive amount of- bullshit is the word I want to use, but that implies an emotional attachment I feel like I’ve lost the ability to feel. I’m exhausted. The weight of all my issues are latched to my ankles and the only way I can keep going is to just drag myself across the sidewalk by my fingernails. Who knows if I’ll make rent this month. I can’t afford not to care, but I’m too drained to get out of bed before 1:00. I haven’t left the house all week. I don’t-“ Grian’s voice cracked and he needed to stop talking.

Scar considered him for a long while. “I’m not so sure this is about dating.”

Grian didn’t know what to say. The words left him anyway. “I just want it to stop.” Scar stilled. Maybe he didn’t know what that meant, and Grian didn’t either.

“Let me help you with your rent this month, G. When is it due?”

Grian shook his head, he meant to do so violently, but instead he only jerked weakly into Scar’s shoulder, wretched when he spoke. “I already owe Jim money. I can’t- I can’t.” Scar didn’t know Jimmy, but that didn’t seem to matter.

“Are you still unemployed?”

“I don’t- Yes, but..”

“Then let me offer you a job. I’ll find a place for you, temporary or permanent if you like. Pearl and Impulse already love you, and everyone loves Pearl and Impy, the whole staff will take a shine to you, I promise. Hm. We don’t really have many fish besides the ones we feed the animals. Do you like penguins Grian? Oh you’d love the penguins, they’re like land fish if you squint and also don’t look at them at all. We have an underground area where you can see them swimming and hanging out and such, have you been down there before? Training can start tomorrow, we’ll log your hours in the meantime while I get you in the system.”

Grian didn’t want to. He really didn’t want to. There were about a thousand reasons he didn’t want to, but about a thousand more he couldn’t stand to fight this. Too tired. He was much, much too tired. So he didn’t say anything. Maybe that caused some concern in Scar.

“Why don’t we pack you a night bag? Something with a change of clothes for tomorrow that you can bring to my place, then in the morning we can drive together! We could have a classic sleepover, build pillow forts and read scary stories under the blankets. I could invite Bdubs! Cleo? I guess you don’t know either of them too well.. Pearl and Impulse? Any of your friends? I don’t have to know them, we could have a whole meet up!”

Grian wanted to cut in but couldn’t when Scar just kept talking, he wouldn’t stop, and Grian had to wait for him to burn himself out before he could say his peace.

“No. I can’t do that. I don’t want to see anyone. I can’t explain my hand and I can’t come up with an excuse. I don’t.. I can’t stay with you either.”

“Separate rooms, Grian, separate rooms,” Scar’s voice was yearning, the kind of energy that sucked the life right out of Grian’s lungs. It was that, the energy. Too much energy when he just wanted to be alone. Why had he called Scar again?

“No. I don’t want to stay with you.”

“Then I’ll stay here. I keep an extra uniform in the office, so it’s not super ideal, but I’ll just change at the zoo. We’ll keep it quiet, watch a movie if you want to, I’ll make you a nice dinner and we can eat together, yeah?”

“Scar,” Grian was wretched, the closest he’d come to crying after he thought he’d never have the energy to sob again, not that exhaustion the convulsions of his lungs and heart at the tattered breaths he couldn’t quite take completely, “I don’t want you here.”

He hadn’t meant the words harshly, only coming blunt with the absence of brainpower to reorganize them into something more civil, but Scar didn’t look necessarily like he took it personally. He just looked worried, concern continuing to crease the line of his brow at every passing moment.

“Someone else then, someone close to you. Someone who could stay the night, I could call them for you if you needed me to. Etho.. Etho mentioned you were saying some pretty bad things before we all got off the boat, I must’ve missed it with the trance thing but- I mean- I just don’t want you to be alone tonight, that’s all.”

And Grian understood. He understood maybe too late what Scar was worried about, mind too slow to call to mind the kind of dangerous trains of thought abysmally depressed people got up to in the quiet. He snorted, near silent, though the feeling was indignant. As if he had the energy. Grian closed his eyes, though this didn’t relieve the pervasive dry ache under his lids. When had this gotten so bad? What had he done wrong? It was better to think he’d done something wrong than to know he simply was wrong, that he could take his pills and meet his therapists and still it would not change the fact he walked his life on shifting sand, too petrified of falling to notice he’d already been sinking for months. And now, head below the grain, he finally noticed he couldn’t breathe, and the life-giving light of the sun could not reach him here, smothered below the surface. Funny, how it sneaks up on you like that. She’s a clever beast, depression.

“Stay, then,” Grian croaked, answering to the accusation that Scar had not spoken aloud, “If you need to, then stay.” He wriggled slightly in Scar’s arm’s which was enough to get him to release, Grian settling back into position on the couch. The all consuming need to be held had turned to some sick aversion, his misery of isolation flipping ruthlessly to misery he wouldn’t be left alone. Scar was left to sit beside him, though there was not enough room to fit comfortably with Grian laying across the whole couch. Scar looked away. Grian saw him fiddle with his hands.

“I hope you’re not upset with me. I’d be just as happy to leave if you’d rather someone else stay, or I could drive you someplace to stay with them.”

Grian shook his head. “It’s a shitshow.”

“What?”

“Me, sometimes. Most of the time.”

“Oh, no, I don’t think so!”

Grian snorted. “You don’t know.”

Scar was quiet for a long moment, green eyes dull in the low light, boring into the mangy carpet below. He looked up, meeting Grian’s much darker eyes with an emotion so intense that Grian’s own mind waned at the smallest attempt of feeling it. “I would like to.”

And maybe Grian believed him. It was a striking thing to believe him, when Grian often did not in the case of other friends and family repeating that same sentiment, no matter how genuine their intention. He struggled to believe them because he was depressed, that much was true, but his knowing these doubts were not rational did not stop Grian from having them.

They, most people that is, did not know the mess behind his eyes. The tar that coated the filing cabinets in his mind, his legs, his hands, until every movement was an inconvenience, every inconvenience a spark, every spark striking the dry tinder of his bitterness, building the ever growing flame of disorganized anger and frustration and erratic neuroticism that made him a deeply unpleasant person to exist around, and much worse to love. But Scar had seen it. Scar had seen it already, the ugly, obnoxious, hateful thing Grian was, impulsive and brash and mean, Scar had seen it, he’d been seeing it for months, stretching out his own hand, clawed and spiteful and equally vile, and he’d set a dance for the two of them, spinning and swinging and snapping and screeching until the both of their feet were raw, legs shaky, hearts broken, but more than broken, exhausted. Scar had seen Grian. Scar knew him, and it did not scare him, nor did Scar’s cruelties bother Grian. So Grian believed him, and while he was not pleased, he was resigned to how this night was going to go.

“Then.. I guess that’s fine with me.”

***

It was not glamorous, as all things with depression typically go.

The world blurred by whether he was inside or out, with people or not, resting or active, asleep or awake. The kind of sickness that did not ease regardless of the time spent on his phone, with his friends, in therapy, trying different medications.. all of those things felt a little like standing at the shoreline, the waves waxing and waning past your ankles, a feeling at the periferie of your mind. The same thing could be helpful one moment, the relief of cool water over your toes, then abysmally frustrating the next, happiness retreating back into the ocean, seemingly never to be seen again. Grian didn’t seem to be able to control these feelings either, whether an activity was good or bad was a surprise to him as much as it was to everyone else, and often flipped on a dime, usually for the worse. The arbitrary nature in it of itself was a cause of extreme frustration. (Grian thought he’d learned to accept this part of his chronic depression, but as with most things he had declared to accept for what they were, he was wrong.)

But some things did make it better, even if Grian was physically incapable of feeling much more than stress. Items which were going well for him he simply found reasons for them to be stressful, but in hindsight, he simply lacked the ability to see small miracles for what they were.

The zoo, as much as he loathed it most days, was good. Having a job, a reason to coax himself out of the house, that was good. Having money. Not a lot of money, barely enough, but enough to make rent. To pay Jimmy back. To chip in for gas occasionally, when his various friends would let him.

Grian did not have the energy to work a 40 hour week, he struggled even to work a feasible part time job, but Scar was so massively accommodating it hurt. Grian worked about four days a week, three or four hours a day, with some flexibility. There was just as much relief as there was misery in how clear it was that Scar did not need him at the zoo, but he tried to ignore it, compensating by doing the menial and/or tedious tasks most of the other staff would rather shell off to interns, which, by all accounts, Grian filled the role. He was not qualified or allowed to be in close contact with most of the animals, which didn’t bother him at all, and he was often shuffled off between Impulse and Pearl for various chores and housekeeping. He drove himself some days, but found himself to be too dangerous to trust on the road with others, and got some help from Jimmy and/or Joel with rides, as well as Scar and occasionally Pearl or Impulse if one of them happened to be heading out around the same time Grian was. It was odd and stressful relying on so many people like this, but affirmations helped, and the fact that Joel and Lizzie had flexible schedules due to their work as content creators helped even more. Grian still felt bad, but as Jimmy so aptly put one day, ‘You feel bad about everything, those are fake feelings, and you better tell those imposters to shove it before I climb in through your ears and give ‘em a piece of my mind.’ It didn’t stop Grian from feeling bad, but the looming threat of Jimmy sticking his fingers in Grian’s ears was enough to quell him most days.

Grian didn’t actually see Scar very much during the day. He seemed to disappear into thin air, only to be seen out of the corner of his eye in odd places like a Loch Ness monster level myth. Some days Grian missed him, longing for the company of someone sickeningly positive, who held enough energy to knock him clean off his feet. A lot of days Grian was glad for it, bitter and angry that he was here instead of home, that this wasn’t helping, that he was worse off as a zookeeper errand boy than napping at home. He was suspicious of Scar, feelings not his own but prevalent nonetheless, that Scar thought of himself as some kind of savior, that putting Grian to work was some kind of holy act, when in reality he was only drawing out Grian’s suffering.

But Scar was right about one thing, and this was something Grian could not deny or resent him for; it didn’t even trigger his benign paranoia.

Grian liked the penguins.

He wouldn’t say he avoided them week one, because while that would have been petty and extremely in character for him, his brain was too scrambled to even think about it. He’d forgotten Scar had even mentioned penguins until he ended up next to the building at the end of his work day mid-week two. It was hot, he was exhausted, but he was waiting on a ride, and while he would have sat outside regardless of his discomfort, the penguins were right there, and it had to be cool in there, right?

It was indeed, but not uncomfortably so. It was dark, and at 2:00 o’ clock on a weekday, the building was closer to empty than anything. It was quiet. Grian found himself wandering the building like a ghost, glancing at the various exhibits, then relieved to see the penguins had a large area to sit.

So he did. And he watched.

They were very cute. They were clumsy and uncoordinated, running into each other and falling over, and while they weren’t overly active, there were so many that there was always something to look at, or at least the threat of something about to happen, a penguin eying the water or another penguin squirming, settling. Grian found them easy to anthropomorphize, but just as the seeds of human-esc penguin drama were forming in his head, he got the call from Joel. Grian was not so enamored as to be disappointed he had to go, but with time that would change.

Grian could not tell them apart, but he did give them names. These names were assigned to whichever penguin he decided fit the role day by day; Turbo had a very high opinion of herself, always swimming and exiting the water with little care for whoever was in her way, Brittany and Sox were always together, huge gossips, just as obnoxious, Mayonnaise was the cool, mysterious type, he kept to himself, but the others were drawn to him regardless, and Max was a bit strange, but she had her friends, and they all got on well together. There were cliques too; Kickflip, Popcorn, and Baxter were always together, talking shit and ruling the ice under an iron wing, though most of the other penguins found them quite annoying, humoring them just enough to get them to leave the rest of the penguins alone. Poppy, Trippy, Slipknot, and Munch were living in their own world, no one else in their penguin habitar able to get them down except each other; there was a lot of relationship drama, everyone in that flock was a total mess.

In the middle of night, week five, Grian was struck wide awake by the desire to go see his penguins. The kind of thought that left you staring at the ceiling, gaping near drooling, shocked into stillness at the simple sentiment of wanting something. Grian hadn’t wanted anything other than to go home, sleep, and/or waste away for over a month, and he hadn’t anticipated that changing any time soon when getting out of bed was just as bleak and miserable as it was before. He nearly called Scar. He had to go see the penguins. Then the other apathetic 95% of him set in, along with the logical recognition that it was 2:30 AM, Scar was asleep, the penguins were asleep, he should be asleep, and also he didn’t want to do any of that shit anyway.

He did not go back to sleep.

Grian did not go to the zoo the next day either, mostly because he wasn’t working, which would have been entirely enough on a normal day; case closed, he didn’t have work so he wasn’t going to go to work, thank god, right?

This was the oddest part of depression; to see a spark of light and instinctively cover his eyes, to bury deeper under the sand, to smother himself when he forgot what it was like to breathe, because learning to do so again was more terrifying than continuing to waste. He was used to coaxing himself forward and hating every step. He wasn’t ready for it to be easier, mentally easier, but still so impossibly hard.

This was the worst part. Where he was no longer a miserable mind trapped in a dead body, but the same mind given the power to move, to act. Who might he hurt in the path of his own destruction? A mother? Student? Someone with potential, promise? Selfish, selfish. He considered hospitalization for the first time, if only for the benefit of the world rather than himself. Jimmy had suggested it weeks prior, but Grian had dismissed the thought, too exhausted to even consider checking his sorry ass into the hospital. But even now, all it would do was keep him safe, then he’d burn through his non-existent savings for the sole purpose of not dying, and what was the point of that? Hospitalization would not help him. It would not fix him, just like pills and therapy and going outside would not fix him. Even if it kept Grian’s condition from worsening it would not be worth it, and honestly, given the state of some hospitals, the dreary, hopeless misery that permeated the halls, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility he’d leave worse than he came in. And who gave a fuck if he got worse? He would never be better, never, he would never be better, he would grapple with this monster his entire life, and was it really- seriously, was it really worth it?

“Hey, Grian, what’s up?”

Grian hadn’t remembered dialing Jimmy’s number. He didn’t even remember picking up his phone.

“Grian?”

“Can you take my keys?”

“What?”

“My car keys. Can you take them?”

Jimmy knew what it meant. He knew. “I’ll be over as soon as I can, I’m leaving now. Ten minutes, probably? How about we stay on the phone.”

Grian agreed, quietly. He did not have much of a choice, but he would not have hung up even if Jimmy had never suggested he stay. He was afraid. Afraid of getting better, spurred into wretchedness by glimpsing a spark of light in the all encompassing, sticky darkness. Pathetic, utterly.

***

He took Jimmy to see the penguins. He took Joel, then Joel again but this time with Lizzie, he made Pearl come see them and Impulse too, despite the fact they’d both seen the penguins hundreds of times. He wished he could take Mumbo. It was the first time he’d thought of Mumbo in weeks, months maybe. Time passed oddly.

The stories Grian had weaved about his penguins had become intricate sagas, no longer kept secret, shared with anyone who would listen to him ramble on and on. He started to recognize them in earnest, no longer guessing when assigning them their names, and every single penguin had a name now, they were all part of his story, vast and important.

Grian did not take Scar. Not out of malice or anything adjacent, Grian just rarely saw him during the work day, even when he started to work more hours. When Grian did see Scar, he was usually busy, caught up with wrestling bears or entertaining crowds or whatever else it was that he did. Scar was a little intimidating to approach during the day, and while Grian saw him after work plenty often (usually against his will, but Scar was the pushy type), he felt a little silly asking Scar to go back to the zoo with him, despite knowing Scar would be delighted to do so.

But eventually, when the penguin house was quiet and Grian was alone, Scar found him. If Grian was being honest with himself, he’d expected Scar to ruin the mood, loud and brash as he was, but Scar seemed to understand the atmosphere he’d established, silent as he walked up behind Grian, then sidled around the bench, sitting beside him. Grian was startled to see him, guilt prickling at the edges of his mind, but Scar’s smile was kind, the soft light of the exhibit catching his face flatteringly.

“I keep hearing about these penguins second hand!” he said, the exclamation persevered in a whisper, “I feel like I’ve been trying to catch you here for weeks, you just slip away!”

“I don’t visit unpredictably,” Grian snorted, amusing himself with the thought of banter, “At the end of my shift, every day. Don’t you make my schedule?”

“Just because a man writes your hours does not mean he goes and memorizes it! Pearl and Impulse do more work ordering you around than I do anyway, they have far more to say about when you come in.”

“I don’t see how this stops you from checking my schedule and finding out exactly when I’m here.”

“You think I have time for that?”

“If you have time to look for me with the penguins, yes, I do think you have time.”

Scar inclined his head back, nodding thoughtfully. “Yes, I guess that’s true. If you hate fun.”

“Irrelevant.” Grian pointed an accusatory finger, poorly hiding his own smirk, “This isn’t about fun, I might even argue this isn’t about wasting time either, I think you’re just lazy.”

“What are you, a lawyer?”

“But laziness doesn’t quite fit, does it. It would save you time to check my schedule, and ultimately it would save you trips to the penguins as well, checking to see if I’m here. Laziness might be a factor; you’d rather check the penguins than glance at my schedule, but I think something else is going on here..”

“Oh? Do tell.”

“I think..” Grian drew out the words, Scar leaning forward on his hands.

“Come on, G! I’m on the edge of my seat here!”

“I think you like penguins!” Grian stabbed his pointer finger into Scar’s chest, the other yelping in sharp surprise and throwing his hands up in defense.

“Well if that’s the case, I’d say you’re probably right! I do like penguins. I can’t say I like them as much as you do though, there are certain areas of animal enjoyment of which I can not compete. You, sir, are the penguin king.”

“Not true.” Grian corrected him, having some success keeping his straight face, “The penguins do not have a monarchy, they don’t even have leaders, no matter what The Iron Wings have to say about it. You can humor them, but it won’t stop you from getting pushed around, no sir.”

Scar sat back, arms crossed and relaxed. “Please, tell me more.”

“Those three,” Grian pointed to one corner of the enclosure, where three of the larger penguins were congregated, huddled together, “Kickflip. Popcorn. Baxter. Those are the guys you gotta look out for, they’d like very much to disrupt the peace of the metropolis. Establish an oligarchy, take control. Secretly, they’re all in a relationship together, but they can’t let word get out, because penguin polyamory isn’t a socially accepted form of love yet. It was a long road of acceptance to get to the point where they could all confess their feelings to each other, a lot of ups and downs and sick jealousy, but they’ve made it, and they’re happier than they’ve ever been. The politics are really important to those guys, so this is a really big deal to them, but they’ve kinda failed to realize no one else gives a fuck. Don’t tell them that though, they’d throw a real stink about it. More than anything, the three of them just want to be taken seriously. Unfortunately they’ve gone about it by being assholes. Everyone finds them really annoying, but saying so just leads to more trouble than it’s worth.”

“I see, I see,” Scar nodded, like the matter was one of grave importance, “What about the people? What part do they play in penguin society?”

“Oh, people? I don’t care about the people.”

“I would think they play a pivotal role in penguin life given they’re always watching. Feeding them, caring for them, you know.”

“Well sure, but who cares about people when you can think about the penguins. I’m here for the penguins. They like people because people feed them, but in the end, people are irrelevant. This is about each other.”

Scar chuckled, “If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

Scar sighed, a content kind of sound, one that lead nicely back to the comfy quiet of the penguin exhibit, dark and cool and safe. They watched in silence together, only broken occasionally by Scar asking a question, or Grian pointing out a certain behavior that contributed to the plot of his penguin soap opera. It was nice, surprisingly lower energy than the regaling of the penguin characters typically were to Grian’s other friends, but maybe that’s because Scar found him first, Scar was asking the questions, and there was no rush to keep his attention. A good thing, decidedly. Very good.

“How’ve you been feeling lately?” was a question that seemed to come out of nowhere, a question Grian liked much less. Maybe Scar noticed, because he followed up quickly, “You look well. Every time I see you I feel like you look a little better, and maybe it's not true- it doesn’t have to be true of course, I’ve just been glad for you.”

“I’m fine.” Grian answered a little more tersely than he’d meant to, but he didn’t correct himself. Scar’s face fell.

“You’re not well?”

Grian shrugged, struggling not to be frustrated. “I’m fine. Not good. Not bad. Just fine. Probably starting to level out to the normal feeling of mildly shitty all the time. Planned a small fishing thing with Gem, we’re going to be out all day Sunday. I’m looking forward to it. That’s a novelty.”

“Goodness,” Scar hissed, his frustration firing up Grian’s own anger, bristling until Scar continued on, “All the time? You feel shitty all the time? How many drugs are you on where you still feel shitty all the time, come on. Who’s your doctor? What are they doing, kicking their feet?”

Grian snorted despite himself. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you.”

“I do! This is crazy, isn’t it? How long has it been, nearly three months now? All that time of you being so sick, and nothing being done about it. That’s stupid!”

“That’s depression.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Yeah,” Grian drew in a long breath, releasing it without joy, “It’s pretty dumb. Psychiatrists don’t even know why the simplest drugs help some people and not others. It’s a mess. I try something for a few days, it doesn’t work, I try something else, suddenly I want to die more than I did before, they take me off that, put me on something else. Who knows if what I’m on now is even helping, or if that’s just time. Sometimes that’s how it feels. I have a mental health crisis, everyone in my life starts buzzing around like frightened bees, trying everything, only for time to be what brings me back to the surface. It’s not consistent either, no ‘Just hold on for three months and you’ll be good,’ it's just.. waiting. That’s depression. Why does it pass? Why does it happen in the first place? Who knows.”

“That- That feels- That is so dumb.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, dude.”

“I know,” Scar threw his hands over his eyes with a short hiss, like the failures of neuroscience and psychiatry had wronged him personally, “I’m sorry. All of this just.. I want things to be okay for you. I want you to stick around. I like when you’re around.”

Grian shrugged, unsure what he meant by the gesture even as he made it. “I guess I’m glad to hear it. I’m doing my best.”

“I appreciate that. I appreciate you.”

Grian snorted a small laugh, unsure how else to react. “You appreciate my valiant effort to not kill myself?”

“I- Yes!” Scar piped up, defensive in his confusion, or maybe alarmed by Grian’s bluntness, “And I don’t think that’s a terribly weird thing to say, either! I do appreciate you! I think you’ve been doing a very good job of it too!”

Grian laughed in earnest, shaking his head and speaking sarcastically, “I guess I have.”

“You have!” Scar lunged forward to grab Grian’s hands, both of them equally, like there wasn’t a thing wrong, like there was no part of Grian that Scar would prefer not to touch. The movement snapped Grian out of his dismal, left helplessly to stare into Scar’s wide eyes, colored blue in the low light of the penguin exhibit. “You have. And I’m glad you’re here. I’m really glad you’re here.”

Grian didn’t know what to do. What to say. Like a rubber band stretched too thin, something snapped at the back of his mind and he broke into a fit of sobs, collapsing into Scar’s arms. Ending just how he started, but not ending permanently.

It wasn’t nice, sobbing was never a nice feeling, but it didn’t have to be nice. Depression was not nice, but love could fight just as dirty, couldn’t it, catching and holding you and forcing you to see it clearly, look it in the eyes and understand that even packaged with the grime, your friends would miss you if you went away. They loved you and they were proud of you and they knew it wasn’t fair, but they saw that you kept going, even when it was hard, even when you were so afraid.

It wasn’t over. Grian was still so fragile, he knew little of how to navigate the world he’d been absent from for so long, but god, he was going to keep trying.

The penguins paid the two of them no mind. They were caught up in their own affairs.

[neonscandal]

Manga With Me: Obscure Head Canons (and Hypotheses) You’d Probably Develop When Reading the JJK Light Novels, Pt 1

For an anime with literally no filler episodes 🥹... the first light novel provides a brief insight into the days before (and behind the scenes of) the trauma. As someone who thrives on the misery of being a JJK fan, would the experience be complete without them? The answer doesn't matter because everything you need is below the jump! I saved my biggest theory for last so hop to the end for it.

⚠️ Spoiler Warning for Jujutsu Kaisen Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust and season 2 of the anime (manga spoilers are vague at best).

Head Canon: Gojo is the Riddler Purely For His Own Entertainment ✨

As someone who can process things the way a Six Eyes holder probably can, there’s no way he allows Yuji and Megumi to get the drop on him during their surveillance of sensei on his day off. But he takes them around (at a distance) doing silly things like record stores and maid cafes because I think it prompts them to enjoy things they wouldn’t. Especially Megumi. It’s kind of sweet, both their inherent curiosity about him but also lonely the way that he explores his whims so far removed from everyone else. It really highlights that “Who is Gojo Satoru?” question when you realize even Megumi’s interest was lowkey piqued at the possibly knowing a bit more about Gojo.

In the second story, Gojo speaks in straight up nonsense (think Mad Hatter) and it is no wonder when he's working alongside the most straight laced sorcerer there is, Nanami Kento. To a degree, I wonder if it’s genuine chaos spilling from his head or if he knows, after years of pushing Nanami’s buttons, how to precisely drive him up a wall. I question whether it's for his own entertainment or to his own alienation. Maybe Geto really was the only one who could follow the winding thread of Gojo’s thoughts.

Head Canon: Gojo Secretly Worries About Nanami

I think with Haibara’s death and the knowledge he would have made light work of whatever caused it, Gojo makes it a point to join Nanami on missions.. just in case. After all, Nanami and Shoko are all he has left from before. He’s lost many people and, as the strongest, I don’t think that fear is something he’d admit aloud, but its reality is demonstrably what pushes him forward physically and philosophically. In the story where they go on a mission together... it almost seems like an unspoken and uncomfortable understanding between them, the elephant in the room neither want to point out. People around Gojo never wanting to acknowledge how his strength eclipses theirs is rather common which we see with Nanami in this story and even Ijichi later. So while he may make light of this chasm, he still pops in as an unsolicited protector. With grace, he allows Nanami to assume he's just being a nuisance but I really think he takes an ounce of prevention where possible when it comes to the people he cares for. After all, imagine the turmoil if he ever came to realize his absence could make or break another person's survival again.

Head Canon: The Elders Have Always Known, If It Came Down to it, Gojo Would Always Choose Geto

There’s a reason they kept the idea of reanimating the dead a secret specifically from Gojo. In fact, they should probably consider themselves lucky that he was so vehemently disgusted with the curse user capable of such puppetry. I wonder if he experienced hope before allowing the reality of the sham magic to break his heart all over again because, in their secrecy, it seems like they know the lengths he’d go to protect and choose Geto. Geto was allowed to walk the earth for 10 years after his execution was ordered. Maybe they were right to keep it close to the chest. Gojo still saved his body, after all. To what end when he knew a body can run the risk of becoming a curse?

Head Canon: Gojo Saved Ijichi's Life but Condemned Him to Something Worse

Okay so this is kind of a manga spoiler (though I believe the flash back is during the Premature Death/Hidden Inventory arc) but, as a student, Gojo straight up told Ijichi he was weak and should find something else to do so he doesn't get himself killed. So he does. He becomes a steadfast and detail oriented manager which is a critical fixture in jujutsu society but damn, doesn't it just put Ijichi in an ivory tower of suffering? Years pass as he sends first his juniors, then fresh sets of kids into dangerous battle after dangerous battle. Some survive, some don't and all serve as a reminder of his powerlessness. He can cross every "t" and dot every "i" and it still doesn't prevent what happened to Yuji at the Juvenile center from happening. What does that do to one's soul?

Head Canon: Gojo Still Thinks "We Are the Strongest"

As seen with the Premature Death/Hidden Inventory arc, we know that Gojo saw an exponential growth in response to the losses suffered. It seemingly drove a wedge between he and Geto as Geto struggled to grapple with his powerlessness. With his defection, we see where Gojo changes his posturing from "we are the strongest" to "I am the strongest" but in the back of his mind (Alexa, play "Always Forever" by Cults 🫠), we know he still holds a soft spot for his first and last warm spring of youth. At the end of JJK 0, he refers to Geto in the present tense, as his "best friend, [his] one and only." Even after everything, I truly think Gojo leaves space for Geto beside him. This is furthered in the light novel during a story which is placed post Junpei and upon Yuji's return to life at Jujutsu High. Yuji, while still playing dead, helped a kid who had a grade 3 curse that seemed to be resurrecting and, after exorcising it multiple times felt he needed Gojo's assistance. When Gojo refused, he resigned himself to ask Nanamin for help wherein Gojo employed a Teachable Moment (TM).

He approached Itadori, who was hanging his head. "In this world, tragedies too often end in misery, even when it's possible to help. But the problem isn't lack of strength or getting there too late." As Gojo passed Itadori, he patted him on the head without making eye contact. "The main reason it happens is that people forget they have the strength to help."

This was enough to restore Yuji's confidence in his own competence but also sounds informed by what happened between Geto and Gojo in a sense. I interpret Gojo's assertion to center Geto to be the assumed lack of strength (which was most pertinent to how he was advising Yuji) and himself with the poor timing. Ultimately, to Gojo it doesn't matter because he never thought Geto was weak. The insecurity was a product of a situation he failed to reason himself out of, at the time, and it bred resentment within him alone. I don't think Gojo blamed Geto for anything that happened with Riko nor could he blame himself. It simply spurned him to figure out ways to limit his vulnerability in the future. In the face of that loss, Gojo still said they were the strongest and maybe in that moment with Yuji, he was employing a lesson he wished he could have been in a place to tell Geto to quell his festering guilt and grief. You can be strong and still fallible.

Hypothesis: Mimiko and Nanako (and Anyone Else...) Going After Managers is Not a Coincidence

As we saw with JJK 0, Geto's twins were rather merciless in going after the suits who make everything covert about jujutsu society possible. Based on what we knew at the time, the managers provide cover for sorcerers on missions (with curtains, getting them transportation to, providing cover stories) and plug them in with resources as needed. But we begin to realize that managers serve additional purposes. In season 1, we see that they are sometimes part of the investigative force when it comes to getting information around developing situations. With the Shibuya arc and the arc that follows, we see that they are also integral means of liaison and communication between sorcerers and to other points of contact within the community, including windows.

So. Windows are people who can see curses but aren't sorcerers which begs the question, what are managers? As we learn and can infer with Ijichi, who was a former sorcerer in training, managers are people who can see curses and may even be able to manipulate cursed energy. They aren't full blown sorcerers but they aren't completely helpless either. So why go after them?

As we see in the story centered around Ijichi's "boring day" at the office. Managers are sorcerers' only connection to the "human" world. They are what keeps them tethered to their mission in protecting others while similarly upholding the etiquette and traditions around how the rest of the world works. They maintain a very delicate balance of things alongside the supernatural. Without them, you'd have the unchecked ego of teenage Gojo basically just doing as he pleases without curtains or respect to the possible implications of a civilian seeing him work out in the open. To suit Geto's needs during JJK 0, why should sorcerers operate under some guise of hiding their strength for the sake of those who are weak? As to what happens during the Shibuya arc.. imagine the fear, the anxiety. Imagine the chaos! Imagine the curses it would yield.

Hypothesis: Yuji is Still the Main Character, We Just Haven't Seen the Curse that He'd Manifest When Broken Saying it louder for the people in the back

Certain corners of the fandom have largely cast Yuji aside. With the release of JJK 0 and appearance of Yuta, many wonder why Yuta isn't carrying the series. Afterall, his inherent overpowered-ness and ability to copy any technique for sure casts him as the next gen Gojo, right? In the literary sense, we've seen the rise and fall of his story. We haven't seen the last of him by any stretch of the imagination but he is, as we discovered, also jujutsu society royalty. A distant cousin of Gojo's, actually.

Of the main cast of first and second years, Yuji and Nobara are subsequently the only characters who do not have apparent ties to jujutsu society. Nobara, plucked from the countryside, is tested by Gojo upon her initial introduction to the series to make sure she's crazy enough to cut it. Yuji's origin is still a ways from truly coming to light but his inherent strength and the simple ability to house Sukuna and maintain his identity has, in many ways, been indicated to be an anomaly. Subsequently, as the viewer or reader, we know there's more to the story which has yet to come. I won't go into it here given my desire to not spoil the larger manga story but I think laced within the light novels is enough evidence to talk about Yuji and what his power and subsequent threat level is.

Yuji, for all intents and purposes, is an outsider. From what we can tell, he has experienced loss. Most apparently with his grandfather but we also assume he is a victim to the MC syndrome that leaves him orphaned and prime for a journey rife with struggle. He's fifteen with the pure heart of a child despite any previous hardships and just so happens to be armed with the mission to help people.

Yuji approaches the introduction to this new society with the wonderment of a kid finding out superheroes exist. But this naivete, this untempered light, actually has the capability of being something so fearsome when we learn how curses manifest through negative emotions.

In the anime, we see this as Sukuna scratches at Yuji's mental when they realize the possible origin of Tsumiki's curse may have begun killing it's victims when Yuji ate the finger. Mahito employs a similar means of manifesting ill will in Junpei that ultimately also becomes a burdensome guilt that Yuji bears. Countless times in the Shibuya arc, Yuji is forced to witness catastrophic losses of his mentors and friends while he can only stand idly by. The survivor's guilt is compounded by the shame of his own inability to help which only gets worse.

Since Yuji is relatively noble and sincere in nature, he considers these losses personal failures. He takes ownership of any sins against others that Sukuna commits when he is not in control over his body and, subsequently, his spirit takes a beating time and time again. He sought to do good in the world but his ledger becomes increasingly bloody through no means of his own and it weighs on our sunshine character.

It's easy to lend a hand to a child who has fallen, but it's a teacher's job to show a child how to stand up unassisted. It isn't always easy. - Gojo Satoru

The first light novel closes the gap between how Yuji went from training in a basement away from anyone who'd want him dead a second time to being under Nanami's care. While wrapping up Nanami's case, Gojo is uncharacteristically somber in requesting Nanami's assistance. He explains that Yuji requires Nanami's influence as someone who knows human suffering. The losses shared between them are unspoken and are not acknowledged within this exchange but, from what we know, hang as a burden between them. Still, both Nanami and Gojo have continued on as sorcerers somehow, from the grief of their youth into their late twenties. But Gojo gives voice to the concern that, because of Yuji's bravery and altruism, that the reality of what's expected of a sorcerer will one day break his heart if someone with emotional intelligence isn't able to help temper it. They seem to both understand the precariousness of youth and have both been shown to insist in protecting it where possible. This exchange and their mutual understanding is how we have Yuji under the care of Nanamin. It's also where we get the heart rending reminder that "Being a child is by no means a crime," and "You've escaped death many times. But that doesn't mean you've become an adult."

In the last story of the book, as Yuji is reunited with the other first years, he is contemplating a situation he encountered that still lacked resolution. He'd exorcised the exact same demon several times but to no avail. He hopes to enlist Gojo's help but Gojo encourages him to think about the problem more because not everything can be solved by fighting and exorcising when the source of curses is from human emotion. As Yuji races off to resolve the issue that's been weighing on him, Gojo reflects on his responsibility to preparing Yuji for the ups and downs that are sure to befall him.

Itadori's sincerity was a more significant attribute than his being Sukuna's vessel. As a result, trauma had the potential to become a curse more fearsome than anything else, a nasty curse preventable only by confronting one's own heart. Instead of cradling that heart, Gojo could teach it to be prepared. That's what it meant to raise students.

While the story resolves without consequence, we see that Yuji's reflection on the situation is as endearing as one would imagine though still a bit warped. He is galvanized to be stronger, dedicated to providing the help the people need whatever it may be, and to not give those he cares about reason to worry which seems in line with what Gojo was hoping for. But being offset by his consideration for how others feel like Nobara and Fushiguro when he died, it almost feels like he's creating an even larger burden of expectations for himself. This gives rise to Gojo's very real concerns about how far someone can fall into despair, especially someone who is such a beacon of positivity.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Running from the Flames {10}

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x OFC Warnings: 18+ only, things get a little heated (finally) - this is a work of fiction and the events are not based on reality. Chapter: One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten || Eleven* || Twelve || Thirteen || Fourteen || under construction

The road trip was passing by too quickly for my liking and I knew all too soon I would have to share Pierre with his team once again. 

Last night we stayed in Marseille, deciding to break the trip to Barcelona into two stops. Without the draw of Formula One around Pierre was only approached a few times by his fans. It meant we got to go sightseeing in peace and explore what the beautiful seaside city had to offer without being swarmed - and not a single reporter appeared.

We had arrived in Nabonne just after sunset and after all the walking she had done Addie was too tired to leave the hotel for dinner so Pierre had left to shop for some groceries and we were going to make our own meal. After more than four days of fancy dinners and room service we were both ready for something homemade. 

While he was out I bathed Addie in our ensuite and dressed her in her pyjamas before doing the same myself, slipping into a pair of cotton shorts and a camisole that would keep me cool in this humid weather. They were purchased with comfort in mind but as I looked at myself in the mirror I felt self conscious and debated changing into leggings to hide the scars that ran down one of my thighs. 

The surgeons had needed to put metal pins into my hip and the top of my femur after Erik had shattered it pushing me down the stairs of our townhouse, that was the last thing I could remember, everything else was black after the first tumble. Though it meant I was able to walk, it left me with two large scars and a limp whenever the weather turned cold.

“Where’s mama?” 

My face off with the mirror ended with Pierre’s question and I forced myself to leave the bedroom when Addie answered. 

“What’d you get?” I asked as I rounded the doorway and saw him carrying two laden-looking paper bags. I rushed forward to take one before the bottom fell out of it and found more ingredients that we would ever need for just one dinner meal. “Are we expecting guests?”

“I, uh, wasn’t sure what you liked,” he said as he started to unpack his bag on the kitchen bench, “so I got a bit of everything.”

“I’ll eat anything, it’s her you’ll need to convince,” I said with a nod to Addie who was completely engrossed in an episode of Miraculous Ladybug or something. “Think you are up for the challenge?”

Pierre looked offended that I even asked before opening all the cupboards in search of the pots and pans. “You can go relax, I’ve got this handled.”

“Yes, chef.” I saluted but instead of going to the living room I went to the minibar and held up two bottles of wine. “Which pairing? Red or white?”

He pointed to the chardonnay and I grabbed two wine glasses before taking a seat at the island to watch him cook. 

“Those quick reflexes are handy,” I noted as I sipped my wine while he chopped the onions and mushrooms with speed and precision. It was mesmerising to watch the muscles work along his forearm and I stared for far too long before I looked away with burning cheeks. “Who taught you how to cook?”

“Oh I don’t know how to cook, I’m just making this up as I go,” he said before grinning. “No, my mother taught me whenever I came home from the driver’s academy. She was worried I wouldn’t be able to fend for myself.”

“Was she right?”

He laughed and tossed the chopped vegetables into the hot pan before taking a sip of his wine. “Absolutely. What about you?”

“Rebecca taught me a little bit when we were on the road and my abuela made sure I could make tortillas from scratch, but I took some cooking lessons when I left the circuit and moved to London.”

“What about your mum?”

I shrugged and took a bigger sip of the wine, savouring the buttery notes that lingered on my tongue. “She’s a lawyer, so travelling with us wasn’t really on the cards with her schedule and I couldn’t stay in Manchester with her; her hours weren’t exactly child friendly. When we got to spend time together it was usually shopping or going on holiday somewhere, not cooking.”

Pierre frowned and put down the knife he had been using to dice up prosciutto so he could lean on the island opposite me. “I’m sorry, that’s gotta be hard for a kid.”

“I think she had something to prove.” I swirled the wine around my glass as I vocalised ideas I had thought of for years growing up. “My grandparents, dad’s parents, are loaded and when he met my mother they pretty much accused her of using him for his money. She worked harder than anyone, putting in more hours, until it was her name on the building and I’m proud of her. I just wish we got to spend more time together but she’s more than made up for it since Adelaide came along.”

“Well, that’s something at least,” he murmured, unconvinced. “I don’t think I could ever be apart from my child, if I had one.”

I looked at Addie, the quiet fascination and wonder in her eyes as she watched the tv. It was the same look she had when we had taken to her an interactive museum in Marseille or when she had ridden on Pierre’s shoulders along the promenade, her hands reaching for the sky like she could touch the cotton candy clouds. Those moments were something I never wanted to miss. “Me neither.”

“What’s the verdict?” Pierre asked Addie after she took a bite of the creamy pasta he had made. We waited with bated breaths but before she even finished swallowing her mouthful she was giving him the thumbs up with one hand and shovelling another spoonful into her mouth with the other. Sauce flicked across the table from the long fettuccini ribbons that she sucked into her mouth and I covered my face at the sight. 

“I swear I’ve taught her manners,” I muttered but Pierre waved it off with a proud smile. 

“I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“You should, this is amazing!”

I collected the empty bowls when everyone was finished and topped up our wine glasses before getting started on the dishes. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Pierre murmured in my ear as he came to stand behind me, his hands resting lightly on my hips. 

“The chef doesn’t clean, it’s an international law.” I leaned back into his touch but still kept scrubbing the dishes because I knew the faster I finished I could then enjoy the rest of the evening chilling on the couch. 

He brushed my hair over one shoulder and pressed a kiss to the bare skin at the curve of my neck, a pleasant shiver running down my spine. “If you insist.”

He took our full glasses into the living room and I heard Addie talking so fast I couldn’t make out what she was saying but eventually the chatter fell quiet. After draining the water and entering the living room I saw why she was quiet, Addie was fast asleep curled up against Pierre and I couldn’t resist immortalising the sweet moment with my phone. 

“Do you want to choose a movie and I’ll put her to bed?” I asked as I scooped her up.

The hotels we had booked were all two bedrooms so Addie and I were co-sleeping and Pierre had the other room. It was almost impossible to sleep knowing he was just on the other side of a thin wall and I wonder if he suffered the same thoughts. 

Satisfied Adelaide was settled in the bed, I turned on the nightlight that travelled everywhere with us and kissed her temple before closing the door. “I think she’ll go in the stroller tomorrow without a tantrum,” I said when I stole her empty spot beside Pierre, curling into his side as he opened his arms for me. “What is tomorrow’s agenda? We can go to the pool here if you need to use the gym in the morning.”

“Is that a polite way of telling me I need to get fit?” he teased.

“Please, I’ve felt your body.” I ran my hand over the defined ridges of his abs to prove my point. “You are��definitely fit.” 

I couldn’t even tell you what movie he had chosen because the moment we made eye contact it was far from my mind. The electric energy sparking between us had only grown with our journey and the kisses we had shared were always interrupted but this time Addie was fast asleep. 

The question hung heavy in the air as his lips left scorch marks across my skin, the teasing traces of where they danced up my neck and along my jaw before finally connecting with mine. My body moved on its own accord, knowing what I wanted before I even thought it, and I shifted onto his lap. 

“Tell me if this is too fast for you,” he said as he pulled away as breathless as me and looked at me with pupils dilated with desire. “There’s no rush.”

I combed my fingers through his hair and tugged the strands to guide his head back so I could kiss his neck, a primal urge to mark his skin barely being restrained. I grazed my teeth over his racing pulse and his breath was shaky as he inhaled a lungful of air, exhaling a moan in my ear. 

“I want to feel you.” My hands were already lifting his shirt over his head and I tossed it aside before reaching for his belt. “I want to taste you.”

“Fuck,” he moaned and grabbed my ass as he stood up from the couch before carrying me to his room, “you can do whatever you want with me, I’m yours.”

Click here for chapter eleven.

Tagging: @my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife

[know-the-way]

Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears Discourse(?)(maybe idk?)

So… at this point I’ve watched the entire 3 series and film. Twice. I was going to post episode reactions for series 2 and 3, but I really need to skip ahead to Crypt of Tears because I have… questions. If anyone knows the answer or potential answer to any of them, please weigh in because I am just… struggling to understand some of the narrative decisions they made here.

(Btw, overall I enjoyed it, so I don’t want it to seem like I’m coming from a solely negative perspective - obviously, the last 5 minutes in particular… talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, etc etc. I may do a separate ‘things I enjoyed’ post. I just needed to talk this out. lol)

****Full warning, this is a very long post, I am so sorry in advance.****

1. Alright, first things first - wtf do you mean it’s been a YEAR since she left Melbourne?! What was she doing that whole time? Like obviously, you could infer that she got caught up in local shenanigans and hadn’t seen everything to a satisfactory end yet, but I feel it would’ve taken maybe 1-2 minutes to just briefly explain that for the audience’s sake.

I also totally understand that they were attempting to make a stand alone project that could be independent of the series, so referencing where the series left off would be antithetical to that. HOWEVER, I think at the point where fans of the series invested $1 million… that should have maybe made tying up loose ends from the series a bit more of a priority?

I also saw that they hoped to garner new audiences from the film. And maybe it’s just me, idk, but - I’m a new audience and the only thing that brought me to the film was the knowledge that I had 3 seasons worth of backstory to immerse myself in beforehand. There are very few scenarios in my mind that would’ve had me watching just the film and nothing else. So… help.

2. Similar to question 1 - SIX WEEKS?! Where was she for six whole weeks? How did she escape the train? Was it like a Bear Grylls situation out in the desert for a while or did she have to barter with local villages or something? Just again… 1-2 lines of dialogue and I’d be good. Instead, I’m just sitting here confused like, “okay cool, I’m super glad you’re alive and stuff, but um… HOW?!”**

(**acutely aware that this is how Jack must feel all the time) (and he deserves a pint from the pub for his troubles ‘cause omg)

3. SPEAKING OF JACK - *r2d2 screech* This poor man. Jesus. How many times does he have to grieve the love of his life? It’s kinda rude at this point.

I’ve read articles with the writers where they talked about wanting Phryne to be strong and independent without emasculating Jack as a character. And I remember thinking, “Yes! They do such an excellent job of finding that balance in the show and it’s really satisfying. It’s one of the things I love most about their dynamic - the freedom to be themselves while still having this very strong collaborative connection.”

^These scenes, though? Whaaaatttt happened? 🫠 I don’t think it emasculated him, but Phryne’s almost non-reaction to him being there… grieving her... it comes off kind of insensitive and perplexing at its bare bones, to me.

Upon a few rewatches of that scene, I’ve been able to slowly formulate potential justifications for her behavior - i.e. she did tell him to come after her and he didn’t, so maybe she lost hope on her end and dove into the first perilous mystery she could find to help herself get over him. Thus, when she finds out he’s there for her memorial service, I could see her inwardly going, “Okay wow, it took me dying for you to make any moves whatsoever. Cool. Good to know I’m only worth the trip if I’m not here anymore. (Hence, the ‘And I’m very sorry that I’m not dead!’ line later.)”

Which would be a fair point, imo, and they do have a track record of just… infuriating miscommunication, but ultimately… it’s all still hypothetical. We aren’t given any actual, spoken insight into her motivations or feelings in regards to Jack (the smallest glimpse we get is her teary eyes outside the door at his guesthouse along with the “damn it, Jack” line). So, without any further follow-up clarification in the film - at face value, that scene is harsh and almost callous imo. And, despite their many conflicts in the show, there was never once where I felt they weren’t at least making an effort to understand each other. Like there is never a point in the film where they take a moment to acknowledge the time lost between them. They don’t get to have that (necessary) release of emotion and mutual understanding (there’s no nightcap moment), so it just feels incomplete.

4. I promise not to make all of these redundant, but the quicksand scene. Obviously, I love it ~*for reasons*~, but I found myself once again choosing a side (Jack’s)???? Which, throughout the entirety of the tv series, I never chose a side between them ‘cause I could always understand both of their perspectives. In this scene and the reunion scene, I’m left confused both times about Phryne’s perspective. Maybe because Mac isn’t there to pull the full truth out of her just afterwards? That’s probably it.

But her lumping Jack in with “any other man” she doesn’t need to explain herself to - either that was a fear response or a flat out dishonest one. Girl quit playin’… we all know he’s not just any other man and we all know he has never tried to change you or take charge of you. Please, the bottom-leaning switch vibes that come off that man… he LIVES for you telling him what to do. He doesn’t want to control you, he just wANTS TO BE BESIDE YOU. GOD.

I so didn’t want to be frustrated with Phryne (I love her**) and I was honestly upset that I was, but there was just something… missing in both these instances for me (vulnerability maybe? idk) and I can’t quite get it to add up. It really probably was a lack of Mac, though.

(**again, Me 🤝 Jack, complicated feelings for a complex modern woman, we’ll both be at the bar if you need us)

5. Last one - “Is this your idea of sweet nothings?” “I thought they were out of the question?” “They are. Continue.”

Did I miss a scene where they laid ground rules for their partnership going forward in Shirin’s case? Or was that something that was cut/not included? Because… if there was a scene of them discussing that before Jack agreed to stay… that would have taken care of most of what I said above in and of itself.

(But no fr… did I miss a scene? Is my copy broken? Help?)

Gonna Leave on a Positive Note, because if you asked me if the below scene made it all worth it, I’d have to say yes:

[jacksgreysays]

Hello, new anon here! If you don’t mind me asking, when did you first get into DOS and what parth do you think the story would have continued, considering where it stopped? We had what, more six months to a year to get to Shippuden events? Something like that?

Hi anon, welcome to my blog. I haven’t written much recently, but I hope you’re able to find stuff you like on here nonetheless. Like an antique store. But for fic. Although, I suppose it’s not really that old in the scale of fandom… so maybe more of a thrift store? The metaphor has left me.

I basically started the podfic as soon as I finished my first read through of DoS that existed at the time so considering I started the podfic in November of 2014, it can’t have been too much earlier than that. I think it was a little strange to me because normally I don’t like first person POV, but something about Shikako was (and continues to be) so compelling to me hence why I started the podfic and wrote a bunch of recursive fanfic so…

In terms of WIPs, I tend to treat them as the term implies which is Works In Progress unless there is an outright statement from the author that they aren’t going to continue it. I don’t consider it “stopped” so much as “on hiatus” unless I’ve extremely missed out on some DoS news? O_O And that being said, I don’t really speculate on the future paths of WIPs, or rather… if I do, then I’d just turn it into recursive fic? I’ve definitely done some ambiguously timed “future fic” although in my head they’re more “Alternate Universe - Future Fic” than actually me speculating about what’s going to happen next.

For example, my Dreaming of S(omething) series STARTS with the premise that Shikako is deployed to Suna as the ambassador from Konoha (and then she and Gaara fall in love, etc.) Which is entirely possible within Dreaming of Sunshine, but I consider it an ambassador!Shikako AU than a speculative/predictive future fic type of thing?

And my extremely in the future recursive fic that involves next generation is less about me earnestly thinking certain characters will have certain relationships as adults and more about me mashing my blorbos together and saying “now be domestic together”

I’m maybe getting off track. Considering the latest chapter is part of the Rice Fields Arc, I can only assume that there will be some Orochimaru related either fights or intel gathering or encountering his horrific science. Also, Shikako hasn’t exactly been subtle in her efforts to get info on Akatsuki members/help encourage her friends’ growths so that they can survive said Akatsuki, it seems like that would make the most sense. But also, Silver Queen has been very skilled at incorporating even the most wild of filler episode/side movie content into DoS so there may just be something coming out of left (rice) field.

Not really sure how else to answer this question, anon. In terms of a more robust speculative conversation, you may want to check out the discord servers

Thanks for stopping by and saying hi, I do love answering asks especially about DoS :)

[thr4shdoes-selfships]

Incorrect Quotes as Ark and Tim

With funny titles because I said so. :D

Coffee

Ark: Here you go, Tim, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Tim: It's cold.

Ark: A nice cup of coffee.

Tim: It's horrible!

Ark: Cup of coffee.

Tim: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Ark: C U P.

Ah, yes... such a good personality match.

Tim: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might.

Ark: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

Yeah... Tim you're not getting rid of Ark... Ever.

Tim: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?

Ark: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

Best? More like ONLY.

Ark: Tim, you're my best friend.

Tim: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Tim: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

Accidental implications

Ark: Heh, Tim sneezes like a girl.

Tim: How about I pound you like boy?

Tim: That didn’t come out right.

It did in fact, happen again

Ark: I’m sorry for being annoying.

Ark: It will happen again.

What a trifecta

Tim: What are your three best qualities?

Ark: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

Unmedicated ADHD

Ark, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Tim: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

Tim– no-

Ark: Are you having another depressive episode?

Tim: A depressive episode?

Tim: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

Ark that's- no- can you properly process words-

Tim: Italics.

Ark: Yeah, Italians.

They eventually had the conversation, and Ark was disgusted

Ark: What’s sexting?

Tim: I'm not having this conversation with you.

You heard him! Chocolate milk!

Tim: You've got to act tough, Ark! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you!

Ark: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it.

Ark, standing up on their stool and slamming their hands down on the bar: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.

Accidental implications pt 2

Ark: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Tim: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Ark: I—

Ark: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

Ark, stop trying to be edgy it doesn't work-

Tim: How do you want your coffee?

Ark: Black, like my soul.

Tim:

Tim: Ark, your soul is a latte.

The sticks caught fire

Ark: Hey guys, I’m making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap, so wake me up in 5 minutes to flip them over.

*5 minutes later*

Tim: Ark it’s been 5 minutes, time to flip your sticks.

Ark: snnnzzzz...

Tim: ARK YOUR STICKS!

Mission failed (successfully...?)

Ark: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)

Tim: What's that?

Ark: Remorse code.

Tim: I'm even angrier now.

Ark has a sugar addiction

Tim: Oh, they left the bowl out?

Tim: It says, “Take two pieces of candy.”

Ark: Nobody around though…

*Ark grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it*

Tim: NO—

Nonsensical headache shit

Ark, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Tim: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Inconceivable!

Ark: Wait you like me? For my personality?

Tim: I know, I was surprised too.

Struggle with basic wording that doesn't make sense

Tim: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.

Ark, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

Comfort failed successfully?

Tim, trying to comfort Ark: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

Accidental implications but sweet instead of o///o

Waiter: What would you like?

Ark: Bring a milkshake with two straws.

Tim: *blushes*

Ark: *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Yeah... Ark is the furthest thing from any of those things

Tim: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Ark: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Tim: That one. I want that one.

Ark not listening, again

Tim: I love you.

Ark, not paying attention: What was that?

Tim: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Unexpected result

Ark: My hands are cold.

Tim: Here, let me hold them.

Ark: My lips are cold too.

Tim: *covers Ark's mouth with their hand*

This is what happened when Tim tried to start their relationship-

Tim: We should be partners.

Ark: You mean like, partners in crime?

Tim: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

[8bitsupervillain]

Umineko Episode Four Spoilers

Yet more conspiracy theories and plot speculations from me.

I just got through the part where Beatrice decides to abandon the game. I have several burning questions (ha ha, Question Arcs) that I don’t really want answers for because I imagine they’ll answer them in the future.

I know the biggest question that’s probably supposed to be in my mind is: “If Battler isn’t Battler, who is he?” But really my biggest question is: when exactly did Kinzo die? Before the final part of this part, when Beatrice is asking Battler about his sin he explicitly mentions that he hadn’t seen Rudolf or the rest of the family “until his grandfather’s funeral” six years after he left the Ushiromiya family register. Because Ange mentions she had been staying with Kyrie’s father during the events of October 1986 there’s really only one person who’s grandfather it could have been. Admittedly though, as I was just typing this out it occurs to me that it’s entirely possible that Battler meant Asumu’s father?

I do wonder thought could “the real Battler” possibly have been any of the ones that had died during previous games? Like the one that dies during the Golden Land ceremony in episode two who became Beatrice’s furniture? Or is it one of the “billions of fragments” Bernkastel said she would try to find for Ange?

Edit: Thinking about it yet further I doubt it was Asumu’s fathers death that was the funeral they went to. Asumu had already been dead for six years by that point, and Rudolf doesn’t strike me as the sentimental sort to go to his dead wife’s father’s funeral. So, again, when did Kinzo die? Is he using pissed off wizard energy to keep himself alive for the ritual of the golden witch?

[imsadstuff]

50 days to fall in love - A Jeon Jungkook fic

Synopsis: A New Variety Show, 50 days to fall in love reality show follows different couples around for 50 days. The six couples are set up with eachother based on a scientific compatibility test, the test assumes that 50 days is the perfect time to fall in love with someone. Let’s watch as these young people navigate through life and love. Word Count: 12k+ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook and reader Genre: fluff (tooth-rotting fluff), some very light angst and slice of life Authors note: I've been obsessed with Asian dating shows, so I wrote a fic about them because that's the way my brain works. please don't be a ghost reader!

Episode 1

“Hello, I’m Jeon Jungkook” Jungkook greets the camera cheerfully taking a seat.

“Can you briefly introduce yourself?” the interviewer asks and Jungkook companies sitting straight in his seat.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, 27 years old. Many of you may remember me as a child actor in multiple movies and tv shows. I don’t act as much anymore, I set up a production house with my friend so I’m more of a director now” Jungkook says looking off-camera.

“What about hobbies?” “I have a bunch of them, I do boxing, I’ve been very into motorbikes lately, videography used to be a hobby, now it’s my job, also food, I love food,” Jungkook says with all seriousness making even the production crew laugh.

“What would you describe as your ideal type?” Jungkook thinks for a good few minutes before answering this.

“Someone considerate and worth sharing my life with, I like someone who’s passionate about something, it doesn’t have to be work but I relate better with people who have this fire within them. I like the tsundere type, to be honest, someone who’s cold to others but warm with me” the last part makes Jungkook giggles at the last part.

“This is the compatibility test, 102 range-based questions, please answer them diligently” Jungkook’s a little too shocked when he’s handed the booklet. “102 questions? Can I get a 100% match?” he asks curiously going through the questions.

“Hello I’m ___” you say to the camera sitting down.

“Can you introduce yourself a little bit?” “Sure, I’m ___, 26 years old. I recently moved back to Seoul to be closer to my family.” you smile a little as you say that.

“I moved to New York for university when I was 18 and left New York at 25 as a Stock Analyst. I currently run a hedge fund with my father, my job is pretty much what defines me right now” you confess a little mortified about it.

“What about hobbies?” “I've been trying to cultivate new hobbies, I play tennis like once a month, I’ve been doing pottery for a few years now, I’m pretty good at it and, um, I collect expensive whiskey” you laugh as you say the last part.

“What kind of men do you date?” this question is a thinker, “I’d say boring” this honest answer makes the producer laugh too much. “It’s not really a negative thing, I’ve dated men from my industry and people in finance can be very boring. All the blame doesn’t have to be on them because I’m pretty boring too, in the past I’ve never really put effort into my relationships because work has been my only focus” you answer confidently sitting straight in the chair.

“Are you ready to put effort into your romantic relationships?” “Yes, it’s not that I have a problem being by myself, but it would be nice to have someone who helps you get through the day. Plus, I’m kinda the boss right now, so my workload is much more relaxed” the last part makes you laugh a little too much.

Your hands are a little clammy as you walk up to the restaurant, first dates are nerve-wracking enough, a first date with cameras just makes you more nervous. Jungkook arrived ten minutes before you, he can see you walking up to the table from the corner of his eye. Rubbing his hands against his jeans one last time, he stands up and greets you politely.

“Did I keep you waiting?” you ask the very handsome man in front of you. “No, I arrived early, my father says on time is late,” Jungkook says nervously sipping on his water.

“I like punctual guys,” you say and Jungkook smiles widely, feeling much better about this.

“Good for us I guess,” he says reading the menu to distract himself. “Do you drink? This place makes amazing cocktails” Jungkook says trying to get a read on you.

“Of course, I drink, I think I’m going to get an old-fashioned, there are very few places in Seoul that do a good old-fashioned” you can’t stop your nervous rambling at all.

“You must’ve lived abroad,” Jungkook asks closing the menu, he knew what he was going to order even before he got here.

“Oh yeah, shit, we didn’t really introduce ourselves,” you say and Jungkook can’t help but giggle at your nervousness.

“I’m ___, 26, I work in finance,” you say more interested in hearing what he has to say.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, 27, and I’m a director” Jungkook’s waiting for you to recognize him but that hasn’t happened yet.

“A director, that sounds interesting, what kind of projects do you work on?” you ask seeing the server approach the table.

“I’ll have an old-fashioned with Ribeye, medium rare with a side salad, can we do french fries for the table?” you ask looking up at Jungkook and he takes a second to shake his head yes. Jungkook isn’t as confident as you were while ordering his food, he’s still awed by it. 

“Are you okay with walking, those heels seem kinda high?” Jungkook asks a little too concerned as you walk out of the steak house with him.

“Just make sure I don’t trip and hurt myself” you joke, feeling much more confident around him.

“Aye Aye captain” he jokes along too as you both walk down the pavement, walking towards the Han river.

“I was supposed to go to NYU too but couldn’t because of a project” Jungkook shares following up on your question about college earlier.

“That’s too bad, college degrees are going to be obsolete anyway,” you say honestly and Jungkook does the same thing he's been doing all night, looking away from you for a second with the biggest smile on his face.

“I haven’t been on a blind date in years” you confess stumbling a little and he catches you right away, his hand lingering around your waist for just a second.

“This is my first blind date,” he says and you turn to face him, shocked and outraged.

“With the way you look and how charming you are?” you say standing still and he does so too, with the river beside you.

“Good to know you think I’m hot and charming, but a blind date just never happened for me” “Glad to be your first,” you ask turning around and walking ahead of him again.

It’s around 2 am when the cab stops outside your apartment complex. Jungkook was supposed to be tired by now, but he was somehow more excited.

“So, will I be seeing you again?” you ask him as he leans on the cab. “Will I be seeing you again?” Jungkook turns the question around on you and you nod confidently.

“I’ll need your number then” he had been thinking about a moment to ask for your number all night, and now was perfect than ever.

“What should we do next? Definitely, something that doesn’t require you to wear heels” Jungkook helps you from stumbling over again, his hand feels hot even though he’s not touching you.

“It’s not me, it’s these messed up pavements, I can run in these” you defend yourself pushing some of your hair away.

“How about rock, paper and scissors to decide what we do next?” you suggest and Jungkook has to restrain himself, you’re perfect, a little too perfect for him. He loses immediately pulling a paper while you pull a scissor.

 

Comments:

Lola: Jeon Jungkook in a dating show might heal the world

SaggitariusQween: Jungkook’s already fallen in love, he doesn’t need the 30 days

Zzzzz: Get in line Jungkook, I too have a crush on ___

Yesto: their chemistry is off the charts

Episode 2

“What? Are you doing this show for real?” Namjoon asks Jungkook noticing all the cameras in his apartment.

“Of course I am, I can’t keep third-wheeling Aera and you for the rest of my life,” Jungkook says applying some moisturizer on his face.

“Which date is this? What’s she like?” Namjoon asks sipping on his coffee and lounging on the sofa.

“Second and she’s so cool, she’s outgoing and funny and just so confident,” Jungkook says walking into the living room while applying some lip balm.

“The strangest part of the date was she didn’t recognise me, or she did and she was too polite to mention that,” Jungkook says going through the stack of paperwork Namjoon brought.

“Isn’t that kinda great tho, she isn’t interested in you because you’re Jeon Jungkook, she’s interested in you just because”

Namjoon's words are ringing in his head as he drives to the location you texted him, it’s a pottery studio. Jungkook opens the door with his hip while holding onto the coffee he picked up on his way.

He catches you inspecting a plate when he startles you with a gentle tap on your shoulder. “Good morning!” you greet him excitedly forgetting about the ceramic plate.

“Morning, I got us coffee, did you have something to eat?” he asks handing you your warm latte, he remembered your coffee order.

“I did have a granola bar on my way here, you want one?” you ask getting a bar from your handbag and Jungkook chuckles taking it happily. 

“It is frustrating how bad I am at this” Jungkook whines for the millionth time struggling with clay.

“You need to be gentle Jungkook” “I am being gentle ___” “No you aren’t, take a deep breath, be softer,” you say as your hands come around him and he immediately goes gentle.

A glass-like structure forms around within seconds and Jungkook looks up at you while you’re laser-focused on the pottery.

“How are you so good at this?” Jungkook asks as you’re both washing your hands,

“My mom taught me, she used to make handmade pottery” you say as Jungkook wipes his hand.

“You’re amazing at it, can we switch the stuff we made because I really want this bowl-plate thing you made,” he says handing you a fresh napkin.

“Sure, what colour do you want it to be,” you ask wiping the streaks of clay off your arms.

“What colour do you like” Jungkook asks getting another towel.

“A sage green, might look cute, might look like shit,” you say and Jungkook points to something on your face.

“Is it clay?” you ask still missing a spot. Jungkook reaches for your cheek, swiping the mark away, a simple touch sending shock waves through your body. 

“So, after our first date like any normal person, I looked you up on Instagram,” you say and Jungkook sits up straight, sensing what’s coming.

“And I knew your name was familiar but I hadn’t joined the dots yet, why didn’t you tell me that you’re super famous,” you say looking up at Jungkook sitting across from you.

“It didn’t come up naturally, and I really didn’t want to rub you the wrong way by bringing it up” he answers cautiously fishing for the perfect piece of fried chicken.

“Is it a deal breaker?” he asks peaking a look at your face and to his surprise, you mouth a no.

“I was surprised in a good way, I’ve only dated guys whose jobs are similar to mine, that leads to similar lifestyles and hobbies, and two similar people dating are like two trains headed straight towards eachother, it is going to be a catastrophe” you take a beat to look at him and he has a neutral look on his face.

“We’ve led very different lives and we can learn from eachother, our lifestyles are very different so it will push each of us out of our comfort zone a few times, but it’s nice, it’ll keep us active. What do you think?” you turn the question around on him, laughing to help with the awkwardness.

“I completely agree with the similar people being a trainwreck waiting to happen, but the life philosophies and principles do need to coincide to have a long and healthy relationship,” Jungkook says as you both completely abandon the lunch.

“I was a little worried about you not being into me and my job,” Jungkook says about what he’s been thinking about since the first date.

“You’re so smart and confident, you know what you want and don’t want and I was worried I was in the don’t want column,” Jungkook says sipping on his coke and you look at him with the biggest smile ever.

“It’s shocking how good you can read me and if you were in the don’t want column, I wouldn’t be here” 

“What do you have planned for the rest of the day?” you ask Jungkook as you’re walking to his car.

“I am meeting up with my tattoo artist to finish off a piece and then I have to go glass shopping,” Jungkook says adjusting his shirt.

“Glass like a prescription?” “Yeah my doctor wants me to wear glasses instead of lenses for a while, what do you have planned today” Jungkook knows you don’t work on Saturdays,

“nothing, might pick up some candy on my way back and watch a documentary” these plan don’t sound that bad to you, this is what you do on most your weekends.

“Wanna join me?” you agree immediately and the production sends off you with vlog cameras. Jungkook seems familiar with the tattoo parlour like he’s spent hours here.

“Do you have a tattoo?” Jungkook asks removing his shirt and revealing an arm full of tattoos, also a very lean torso.

“I do, but my parents don’t know” you whisper this, feeling the camera Jungkook mounted a few centimetres away.

“Where?” he whispers back with a sly smile. “Upper thigh” you whisper leaning closer to him.

“Oh” he shies away immediately looking away. “Do you want to get any more?” he asks as the tattoo artist starts with the tattoo.

“Maybe, I’m a little indecisive about the design and I feel like I’m going to regret them, do you regret any of these?” you ask taking a seat by him.

“Yes, but I’ve gaslit myself into believing they aren’t” Jungkook confesses with a giggle. 

“My eyebrow piercing did hurt, my lip one not so much” Jungkook tells trying to comfort you.

“Why did you remove them?” you ask as the person marks a point on your nose. On a whim, you’ve decided to get a nose piercing because why not.

“For a movie, I was bored of them anyway” Jungkook says as you wince seeing the pin ready.

“I’m just going to pierce it, might hurt like a prick but it’s only going to last a few seconds,” the technician tells you and you feel your heart sink, your pain tolerance is bad.

“It’s going to be fine, you don’t have to go through this” Jungkook says in order to reassure you.

“No, I should have bigger fears in life than needles hurting me,” you say clutching onto Jungkook’s hand tight as the technician pierces you. Jungkook can feel how much it hurt you because of the way you’re holding onto him.

Jungkook can’t take his eyes off you as he’s driving you back, “What?” you ask and he looks away smiling.

“You look hot” it just slips out, Jungkook doesn’t feel as embarrassed about it.

“I wasn’t hot before the piercing?” you tease and Jungkook gets defensive immediately.

“No, um, that’s not what-” “I’m messing with you,” you say laughing and patting his arm as he stops outside your apartment complex. Jungkook’s quiet as he opens the car door for you, he leaves all the cameras in the car but forgets that you both have your mic packs on you.

“I had so much fun today,” he tells you, leaning against his car. “I did too,” you say pushing some of his long hair away from his face. The both of you are barely recorded by the camera still rolling in Jungkook’s car. The camera almost doesn’t catch how close the two of you are standing.

“Let’s have many fun days like today” you suggest looking at him. The camera doesn’t catch Jungkook holding onto your hand, grazing your hand with his thumb. 

Comments:

Lola: I was hoping for a ghost moment and got it

SaggitariusQween: we support people maturely talking about what kind of relationships they want

Zzzzz: I agree Jungkook, ___ is hot

Yesto: the sexual tension is off the charts

Episode 3

“I just touched down in Incheon, I’m going to get a cab and sleep for a few hours” you talk to Jungkook over the phone, dragging your luggage.

“Alright, don’t get a cab, I’m waiting for you at arrivals” it’s hard not to spot Jungkook with a team of cameramen around him.

“I thought you were joking, I can’t believe you actually came” you skip a little as you walk closer to him still on call.

“I haven’t seen you all week, I was starting to forget you” Jungkook catches you off guard with the hug, but you lean on him for just a little while.

“I was just in and out of meetings for four days, I’m so sleep-deprived I’m starting to shake,” you tell Jungkook buckling in the car.

“Just sleep a little, your place is an hour and a half away” he didn’t drive to the airport either, he came here straight from set.

“No, I want to catch up with you. What did you do all week” you say as the driver changes lanes.

“I’ve been on set all week, the movie is in the last week of shooting” Jungkook’s a little sleepy himself, it’s 4 am, he’s supposed to be asleep right now.

Jungkook knocked himself out before you, you turn off the lights as gently as you can. Hoping the camera doesn’t catch you blushing like an idiot seeing him asleep. Somewhere along the way, after minutes of swinging and stirring awake in the car, you lean on him for the support, but also the warmth. 

Jungkook gives up after a few attempts to wake you up are futile. Removing his seat belt, he brings his arm around you and you get comfortable immediately, this new warmth is also what stirs you awake.

“You stayed up to come to pick me up and I immediately fell asleep,” you say moving a little away from him while his arm stays put.

“Don’t worry about it, I feel much better knowing you got some rest” Jungkook says yawning behind his hand.

“What are we doing later today?” you say bending down to get some water, Jungkook is about to move his arm when you lean back like before.

“Bowling and wine bar, are you tired, do you want me to change the plans?” he asks and you mumble a no, falling asleep again.

“No, I just need five hours of sleep and coffee” “Have a big lunch or you’re going to be shaking because of coffee again,” Jungkook says with a smile, recalling a text from you.

“Yes, what time is it?” you ask reaching for his hand, his hands feel a little heavy, maybe you’re just too tired. “I’ll see you in 12 hours”

Jungkook’s body still feels a little sore as he’s walking up to the bowling alley, he feels a lot less tired as he sees you shaking your head to the music.

“I thought about making bowling a little more fun, we make a bet,” you tell Jungkook the minute he sits down.

“Bet, sounds fun, do you have something on your mind” “I do actually, whoever wins gets to design a tattoo for the loser,” you say and Jungkook perks up all excited.

“___, let me remind you, getting a tattoo removed is very expensive and painful,” Jungkook says arrogantly as he picks up a ball. “Jungkook, let me remind you, I am very bad at drawing,” you say throwing the ball and the ball completely misses.

You eventually do end up catching up with Jungkook, barely because this is the last round and Jungkook is leading by 8 points.

“___ last chance for you to recall the bet and let me win” what you’ve realised today is just how competitive Jungkook is, it’s kinda hot.

“I’d rather watch you lose,” you tell him and he throws the ball, backing away in anticipation he jumps and shouts scoring a perfect strike.

“So, do I get to decide on the placement and size too?” Jungkook doesn’t feel tired at all right now, as he drapes an arm around your shoulder.

“I don’t like you a lot right now” “Does that mean you liked me a lot more before this” “That’s not what I said” you’re a little huffy as you pick up your handbag but Jungkook takes it from your hands immediately.

“That’s what I’m choosing to interpret ___”  he teases you a lot more as you walk to the wine bar, you don’t mind it, you like it, you feel the walls coming down. 

Jungkook doesn’t want to look at your phone as it lights up with notifications, but he can’t help but sneak a look when he sees a strange notification.

“Why are you on tinder?” he asks more with fascination and you look at him embarrassed.

“I forgot to delete my account” you are a little clumsy picking up your phone but he stops you with a gentle pat on your hand. "You don’t have to” “No but I want to” you open the app to the hottest man’s profile right there.

“Wow he’s hot, I’d swipe right on him”  Jungkook says scooting closer beside you.

“I wouldn’t, first his bio says here to make friends and the glasses don’t pass the vibe check,” you say and Jungkook looks at you horrified.

“Explain the glasses and vibe check thing ___” Jungkook says very seriously,

“A lot of serial killers wear these glasses, and I’ve seen a lot of crime documentaries, so it’s a no for me,” you say swiping right and another profile appears.

“Thank god he doesn’t have glasses,” Jungkook says sarcastically taking a big swig from his wine glass.

“Yes, he is actually kinda hot, a picture at the library, a picture with a dog, his hobbies include pottery, same as mine, I’d swipe right,” you say teasing him and Jungkook scowls turning off your phone for you.

“Good thing you don’t need to” you snicker as Jungkook avoids your eyes, red with a tinge of jealousy and wine. 

“Dogs are cute but you know what’s cuter?” Jungkook asks you, very clearly a little intoxicated.

“You?” you state dumbfoundedly, not as drunk as Jungkook. “You think I’m cute?” he asks struggling with the seatbelt, you nod helping him with it.

“Puppies are even cuter ___ and I’m picking one up from the shelter next week,” he says flopping his head back and hitting it.

“You’re a clumsy drunk,” you say placing his head on your shoulders. “I’m going to spoil that dog so much, we’re going to go on hikes, I’m going to be a fit dad” Jungkook rambles on, getting comfortable on your shoulder.

“Would you join me and my son for a hike ___?” Jungkook asks lifting his head up, but it immediately flops down.

“As I said on our first date, I’d rather die than go on a hike,” you say and Jungkook whines, very cutely.

“What if I asked cutely, will that change your mind about hikes?” you turn your face a little and realise just how close Jungkook’s lips are to yours.

“Maybe, but in return, I’d want you to help me move” “You’re moving?” Jungkook perks up again, hitting his head much harder again.

“Yes, but I want you to stop moving so that you don’t hurt yourself,” you say and Jungkook snuggles just a bit closer.

“So, when am I meeting your boyfriend?” Hara asks chewing on a slice of pizza. You’d known Hara for over a decade now, she was the closest thing you had to a sister, other than your sister.

“Jungkook’s not my boyfriend, we’ve only been on three dates,” you say picking out mushrooms from your slice of pizza.

“Three dates, how is the sex,” Hara asks in a teasing tone and you swat her arm, feeling a little conscious of all the cameras in your apartment.

“We haven’t had sex yet, we haven’t even kissed” you confess with a small voice, looking at the floor all embarrassed.

“Dating in Korea is very different than in the states, I’ve definitely kissed guys after the first date” you saw chewing on pizza while also packing up some stuff.

“Just kiss him if you want to, you don’t have to overthink it so much” Hara gets right to the point, that’s her style.

“You have so much fancy lingerie” Hara shouts from your closet.

“This is fancy stuff, how much did you spend on this?” she asks looking you dead in the eyes.

“I bought these my first year working, I’d just gotten a massive Christmas bonus and my boyfriend had dumped me, I wanted to buy “something for myself”, I’ve never actually worn them”

“Try 'em for me!” Hara doesn’t let you get in a word till you’re hiding in your bathroom, slipping into a babydoll sleeping set.

“It’s so sexy, sure uncomfortable to sleep in but sexy” Hara says as you peek open the door ever so slightly, making sure none of this is in the camera frame.

“Wear this and you’ll have Jungkook kissing you all over” Hara teases you and you take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror, it had been a while since you’d felt sexy. 

It was around 1 am when Jungkook called you, by this time Hara and you had stuffed yourself of pizza and soju, she was already knocked out in your bed.

“Why are you still awake?” Jungkook’s surprised that you picked up his call, you’re knocked out by now.

“Hara came over and we just talked about a lot of stuff and I couldn’t fall asleep” your voice booms in Jungkook’s car as he parks his car.

“Is everything alright?” “Yes, everything is more than fine, are you home?” “No, I’m downstairs” it doesn’t take you too long to spot Jungkook’s car, he always parks at the same place.

“Are cameras rolling in your car?” you whisper to Jungkook as he rolls down the car window.

“Yes” “Are you wearing a mic?” Jungkook finds your questions adorable as he says no. Jungkook gets out of the car and you’re sure none of you is on camera, you forgot about the camera in the backseat.

“Why are you so jumpy today?” Jungkook asks you and you rope your arms around him, coming on tiptoes to come face to face with him.

“I don’t know what the rules of dating are in Korea, and I really don’t want to scare you away because I really like you,” you say truthfully and Jungkook snakes his arms around your waist, you’re stumbling already.

“Rules about what?” he asks and you’re starting to regret bringing this up.

“About what the acceptable pace for a relationship is, about kissing, about sex” Jungkook wasn’t expecting this, it takes him a second to come up with an answer.

“___, um, you don’t have to worry about these rules, you just have to ask me and if we’re on the same page, then, um, we’ll go forward with it,” he says chuckling nervously and you lean even closer.

“Alright, um, cool-” you stop speaking when he pulls you even closer, his face centimetres away from yours. Jungkook feels oddly confident knowing you’re both on the same page, and he doesn’t let him think himself out of kissing you. He picks you up a little as you kiss him intensely, smiling against his lips. 

Comments:

Lola:OH MY GOD!!!!!!! THEY KISSED

SaggitariusQween: god, when is it my turn to be happy

Zzzzz: them trash talking to eachother is cute but you know what’s even cuter, THEM KISSING EACHOTHER

Yesto: I don’t know if I want to be Jungkook or ___

Ester: their chemistry is seriously something else

Wallu: here because I saw a clip of the show on Twitter and now I’m HOOKED

Episode 4: 

Your morning is not off to the greatest start. First, it was moving day, you hate moving. Second, your dad showed up, bright and early, because a dad can always help with moving, his words not yours. Thirdly, your mom showed up, because she wanted to spend quality time. Fourthly, Jungkook was on his way and wasn’t picking up your calls.

To summarise, your divorced parents do not get along are over at your apartment and, Jungkook’s going to meet them like this for the first time.

The bell rings and you rush to open the door before your mother can, “Good morning!” Jungkook’s a little too cheerful as he pulls you by the waist, ready to plaster a big kiss when you move your head away.

“My parents showed up because why not, they’ve already fought twice about things that went wrong on their wedding day, it’s kinda intense and I want you to-”

“___, are you not going to introduce us to your new friend” your mother surprises you, Jungkook still holding onto you, till he process and drops his arm around you immediately.

“Hello,” Jungkook says politely bowing a complete ninety degrees and your fathers yells in the background about how your mother had packed something wrong. Jungkook was not ready to meet the parents, but he was more unsettled by how anxious you looked.

“Dad, I really don’t think there’s a correct way to stack boxes” you’re trying really hard not to snap at anybody right now.

“Hey, how about you and your mother drive up to the apartment with the small stuff and your father and I’ll ride there with the truck” Jungkook suggest handing you his car keys.

“You don’t need to do that, he will ask you some questions you won’t want to answer” you whisper to him but Jungkook hands you his handbag and a few other stuff. “I’ll be fine” 

Jungkook wasn’t fine, he was very close to shitting his pants. Your father is a tall, quiet man, Jungkook wants him to like him so much but at the same time, he’s terrified of him.

“You look young, how does one become a director this early?” your father asks Jungkook who’s sandwiched between the driver and your father.

“Well, I’ve been working in the industry since I was 12, so I had a lot of connections in the industry,” Jungkook says and the driver gasps recognizing him.

“Oh my god, you’re the kid from Memories” the driver lights up with excitement.

“___  works hard, she not going to give up her career for marriage or kids” this question takes Jungkook by surprise.

“We haven’t discussed this, but I’m not expecting her to” “Most men don’t feel confident about ___’s success, are you intimidated by her success” Jungkook’s starting to realise what you didn’t want him to spend one on one time with your father.

“I feel intimidated by ___, not because of her career or success but because she’s confident and I’m not” Jungkook hadn’t really vocalized his feeling about you to anyone yet, it’s insane to think that he’s talking to your father about it.

“Are you confident about ___?” it is too early for Jungkook to know that, it’s barely been a month since your first date. That’s been his issue in the past, not being able to match his partner's pace and keeping them waiting till he figures out his feeling. 

“Mom, I need you to stop bothering dad and just let him build this dresser, don’t you have pilates right now” it’s been a long day of mediating between your parents, and you feel guilty for wanting them out of your house.

“And did you don’t need to help me with this stuff, I can do it, Jungkook will help me with it” “___ don’t build furniture with a man, it means that you’ll share it with him someday” your mother interjects and Jungkook quietly listens to it all as he arranges your kitchen.

“What is so wrong with it mom, Jungkook’s a kind guy I don’t mind the thought of sharing furniture with him,” you say with defeat,

“___ he’s famous, famous people are shallow, he’s too handsome, handsome guys cheat,” she says looking straight at your father.

“It’s been fifteen years, when will you get over it” your father sighs putting away his tools.

“You both are very difficult to love” you mutter to yourself, walking out of your room and watching Jungkook diligently wipe your crockery, you don’t deserve him.

“Just go home, today has been a disaster,” you tell Jungkook taking the napkin from his hands.

“So, I was thinking because pizza for dinner, are your parents, going to stay,” Jungkook says scrolling on his phone and you tug on his arm to get his attention.

“Why are you still here? Aren’t you uncomfortable?” you ask and Jungkook cracks a smile before answering you.

“I am ___, it’s way too early to meet parents but I don’t care because I like you,” Jungkook says earnestly and you look at him awed. You were expecting him to ghost you after today,

“You do?” you ask coming between him and the counter. “I do, do you?” Jungkook asks you, very nervous about your answer. “I do like you,” you say looking Jungkook right in the eyes, you feel sure about this. “You do?” Jungkook asks you again, you peck his lips softly before answering him. “I do and so do you” Jungkook has stars in his eyes when you pull back, “I do,” he says kissing you again.

“You guys getting married or something, what’s with the I do’s?” the magical moment is broken by your mother and Jungkook doesn’t push you away this time. 

“I haven’t been in front of the camera in a while, I mean I have for the show, but not for photoshoots,” Jungkook says anxiously as they’re setting up for another set of pictures.

Jungkook’s being featured by Forbes for being an entrepreneur thirty under thirty. He didn’t expect his production company to take off, he expected it to be a blip in his career before he gave up and went back to acting.

But one of the films he directed is up for a few oscar awards and he can’t believe it. “Have you been liking filming the show?” the interviewer asks him between shots.

“It’s definitely pushing my comfort zone, but it’s been fun so far,” he says as the stylist sets his hair before the last few shots.

“So, I just texted him asking him his plans and true Jungkook fashion, he hasn’t checked my texts yet,” you tell the cameraman finding Jungkook’s green room.

“Is he bad at replying to texts?” the cameraman asks and you nod furiously.

“It’s because his phone is on silent when he’s on set, he usually calls and gives me individual answers to all my texts” you’re a little giddy talking about him. The cameramen leave the camera’s behind as they’re notified that Jungkook’s arriving soon. You’re all by yourself, thinking and rethinking the last month.

“___?” Jungkook’s a little confused by the dim lights and candles in the room.

“I wanted to surprise you before you left for Japan, you have to leave in four hours right?” you ask standing up and checking your watch.

“Yes, DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?” you shout frightening him a little.

“Yes, I wanted to look presentable for the photo shoot,” he says as you run your fingers through his hair.

“It was presentable before, you looked so romantic” Jungkook can’t help but notice how pouty you are about the hair change.

“Do I not look good anymore?” Jungkook asks taking a look at the spread of food, a lot of it looks homemade.

“You look all hot and sexy but not romantic, it’s like a triangle of what you can achieve with a haircut, it can either be sexy and romantic, romantic and hot, hot and sexy, but not the three of them together” Jungkook loves when you say the most ridiculous things so seriously.

“So, the gist of all that is you think I’m hot and sexy,” he says with a teasing tone, pulling you closer with one swift move.

“The food’s getting cold, you need to eat” you feel nervous and Jungkook looks at you all smugly.   

Jungkook and you had been super busy all week, but to make up for it Jungkook had made big plans for the night. It would be your first month since your first date, it would also be the day he officially asks you to be his girlfriend. Instead, he was sitting by himself in the omakase restaurant you really wanted to try out. You pick up Jungkook’s fifth call, you had been knee-deep in documents for the last two weeks.

“Hey, where are you? Are you stuck in traffic?” Jungkook asks walking away from the camera.

“We had plans tonight? I totally forgot” those words leave your mouth and break his heart a little.

“You forgot?” he asks with a small voice, moving even farther away from the camera.

Comments:

Lola: is this their first fight or are they breaking up

SaggitariusQween: ___ is so right about the triangle of haircuts

Zzzzz: do we know if ___’s dad is single

Yesto: This started out so well and ended so bad

Ester: HOW DOES ONE FORGET A DATE WITH JEON JUNGKOOK

Wallu: I can’t believe I have to wait till next week

Dontlook: ___’s mom is an absolute diva and I’m a fan!!!

Episode 5:

“You forgot?” Jungkook asks you as you leave the conference room.

“I’ve been in and out of meetings with my lawyers, I’ve been accused of insider trading” you whisper the last part even tho the office is mostly empty.

“Are you alright? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Did you have dinner?” you’re floored by the fact that Jungkook wants to take care of you even tho you stood him up.

“It’s just been overwhelming and I’m so fucking scared” you’ve been acting tough all day but it all is starting to get to you.

“I am so so sorry for standing you up Jungkook, I promised myself I wouldn’t let my job ruin my relationships but here we are” you close the door to your office and lay on the floor.

“___ this is a problem that’s out of your control, you don’t need to be sorry” Jungkook reassures you going back to the table and picking up his keys and jacket. He keeps you on the phone all the while he’s driving to your office.

You’re sitting on a bench outside your office building, the streets are dark and empty.

“I’m so sorry for today, I can’t believe I forgot” you apologise again as Jungkook walks out of his car.

“Hey- did you get fired?” Jungkook asks referring to the box filled with stuff beside you.

“No, I’m taking a leave of absence for a month while the internal investigation completes” you stand up defeated and put your stuff in his backseat. Not wanting to have this conversation on camera, you pull him, as away as you can.

“I’m so scared” you finally let your guard downs a few tears expecting your eyes immediately.

“What if they find the allegations to be true, what if I end up in jail” you ask and the cameraman zooms into the both of you.

“None of that is going to happen” Jungkook tries to reassure you but nothing is helping you right now. Leaning your head on his shoulder, you can feel the fear seize you.

“You’re the best boyfriend, running to me even when I let you down” the words come out of your mouth without much thinking and you both realise what you just did.

“I mean, we haven’t talked about our labels, but if your first thought after I stand you up is to make sure that I’m okay, you’re an amazing caring guy and you deserve someone better than me, someone, who never forgets-” Jungkook shuts you up with a deep kiss, the amount of feelings he has for you scare him, but he’d rather be hurt than not give you his hundred per cent. 

Jungkook and you spend the rest of the weekend off-camera, you’re starting to feel a little better between all the calls with your lawyer and Jungkook doing everything in hopes to make you feel better. You’d been staying at Jungkook’s place this weekend, it was all very pg 13.

“Jungkook parents and my parents, if you’re seeing this, first off don’t and secondly, it was a very g-rated sleepover” you talk to the camera as you make breakfast for the both of you. You were too busy cutting fruit when Jungkook surprises you by snaking his hands around your waist.

“You’re making me breakfast, I have the best girlfriend in the world,” he says with his hoarse voice, snuggling into your neck.

“When did you wake up?” he asks still hugging you as you plate the fruit.

“A few production members were here to set up these cameras, now your parents are probably going to see this,” you say pointing to the cameras.

“Hello mom, I have a great girlfriend don’t I?” Jungkook plays along, helping you get everything to the dining table.

“So, what are your plans for today?” you ask him as he munches on the egg sandwich.

“I have a few work meetings and I have to be done reading a few scripts, what are you up to?” Jungkook asks watching you sip on your coffee.

“Hara is going to take me on a girl's day to help make me feel better, we’ll go window shopping, try on clothes we’re never going to buy and go day drinking” you try and sound a little excited about today, first Monday without work.

“So, I have a crazy plan. I’m going to LA for a week tomorrow for some work commitments, how about you come along?” Jungkook suggests, picking out all the apples from your bowl of fruits, he knows you aren’t a fan of apples.

“Really? I don’t want to bother you during work” you say and he furiously shakes his head.

“The work is a few parties and galas, I’ll have so much more fun with you there”

“I don’t have fancy Hollywood clothes, you should go by yourself” you try and push him away a little, wanting to wallow in your misery for a while.

“Here, I know you are more than capable of buying stuff for yourself but I want to spoil you.” Jungkook hands you his black card like it’s nothing. 

“You need something low cut ___, show off those amazing pair of-”

“Can you be a little less crass and give me that dress,” you say opening the changing room curtains and taking the low cut dress from Hara’s hands. There will be four total events you’ll attend with Jungkook, so you need four outfits with two alternates. Hara is great at shopping so you get the outfits done in no time. Next up is heels.

“I just need one comfortable pair of heels that’ll go with all the outfits,” you tell Hara as she sits you down ready to make you try a thousand shoes.

“No, absolutely not, when your boyfriend hands you his credit card to spoil you, three pairs of heels are a minimum” Hara next brings you to a nail salon,

“I never have the time to get my nails done, these look cute” you show off your freshly painted nails as Hara drives you somewhere.

“Where are we going next, my place for wine and sushi?” you ask enthusiastically and Hara nods her head no.

“I didn’t know I needed a haircut,” you tell Hara as you walk into the salon. “Today is not about your needs, it’s about spoiling yourself” 

Jungkook and you weren’t expecting any of this press at the airport, you’re clutching onto his arm close as you make your way through.

“Are you alright?” he asks you as the flashes go off very frantically.

“I just wish I had put on some makeup if I knew there was going to be press” you joke as you go through security.

“You look absolutely stunning” Jungkook isn’t big on PDA but he really wants to hold your hand right now. It’s like you can read his mind as you lace your hands together while picking out some snacks.

“Let’s play the balance game” Jungkook suggests picking up the stack of cards production handed you earlier.

“Summer or winter” the both of you answer winter together, “Passenger or driver” Jungkook answers driver while you answer passenger, “That’s good to know,” Jungkook says picking up the next card.

“Plans or surprises” You both have different answers again, he goes for surprises while you go for plans,

“I can plan surprises for you then” you reassure him picking up the next card.

“Words or actions” this one is a thinker but you answer first, “actions because words can be empty sometimes” “I prefer actions too” the options keep getting harder, till you’re both stumped thinking about this one, “Passion or stability” “I don’t think I could choose either, passion is very important for a long term relationship,” Jungkook says and you nod in agreement. 

“We need to stay awake if we’re beating this jetlag” you shake Jungkook for the nth time on your drive to the hotel, it’s a bright morning but you’re both still on Seoul time.

“How about just a cat nap before we have to start getting ready for the event,” he says resting his head on your shoulder.

“Nope, we need to set the cycle right and go to sleep today at a reasonable time so that we can enjoy the rest of the trip,” you say and Jungkook groans snuggling closer to you.

“You can be a little annoying when you’re reasonable” Jungkook is very close to falling asleep, he loves the way your hair smells.

“That’s rude” it’s hard for you to be awake too, Jungkook’s a little too warm.

“I just said a little, the rest of the time you’re attractive, very very attractive” he smiles as you snuggle closer, very close to falling asleep. 

“Jungkook, wake up! It’s six pm already, WE FELL ASLEEP” you shake Jungkook awake and he sits up in bed all groggy.

“six pm, SIX PM!” he jumps out of the bed checking his phone.

“What time is the car arriving?” you ask taking out a million things from your suitcase.

“In forty minutes, you get ready here, I’ll get ready next door in my manager's room” Jungkook stumbles picking up today's suit and you rush into the restroom for a much-needed shower. Jungkook’s struggling with his tie when you emerge from the restroom, ready in twenty minutes.

“Do I look like an oscar nominated director's girlfriend?” you ask and Jungkook gasps at how beautiful you look.

“You definitely do, I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend. You’re so fucking beautiful” Jungkook has an awestruck look on his face, the same one he had on your first date.

“Let me help you with that,” you say taking the tie from his hands. Jungkook takes out his phone, taking a few pictures and videos.

“You’re very good at this, how many exes did you do this for?” he asks teasing you as you fix his collar.

“None, I went to a private school with uniforms that had actual ties,” you say as he takes a few more pictures. 

“I haven’t socialised in a while, I forgot how exhausting it is,” Jungkook says as you feed him some of your chicken.

“You guys are very adorable,” Jimin says from beside you, he’s an actor and you’d been talking his ear off all evening because you don’t know anyone here.

“Aren’t we” Jungkook says pulling your chair closer to his. “I don’t want to be single either, do you have any single friends ___” Jimin says very seriously.

“I have a friend, she’s single but she’d eat you alive” “Hara?” Jungkook asks and you nod furiously sipping on your whiskey.

“I think they’re both the same kinda intense tho?” Jungkook suggests and you disagree, “He’s not her type tho, she likes men who hate themselves for some reason, Jimin is very sure about himself” there you go again saying the most ridiculous thing with all seriousness.

“So what, you’re not Jungkook’s type either, yet he’s sappy about you” Jimin says and you turn around to Jungkook with a quirked eyebrow.

“What is your type then Jeon Jungkook?” “She’s two tables away, she’s quintessential Jungkook type,” Jimin says before Jungkook can shut him up, not to your surprise she’s a tall, beautiful model.

“It was just a fling, I could never emotionally connect with her, but I can with you” he says kissing your cheek.

“I believe you,” you say caressing his thigh.

"So, about your friend Hara, when are you introducing us” 

“I’d marry these tacos” Jungkook says growing as he takes another big bite, it was the third event and the both of you escaped early to get some food.

“How do you know about this place?” he asks and you chew quickly,

“After my parents divorced, my dad moved to LA and my mother moved to Seoul, so I’d spend summers here”

“There’s so much I don’t know about you, tell me more” “I went to a boarding school for five years, my sister named her son after our pet fish because she lost a bet to me-” “Woah wait, hold up, what is your nephew’s name?” “Henry” “Why would you name your pet fish Henry?” Jungkook asks rolling up his sleeves.

“I had the biggest crush on this boy in my class, his name was Henry,” you say and Jungkook sighs cutely.

“What was the bet with your sister about?” “It’s too soon for you to know Jungkook, we’re trying to fall in love with eachother and that would just sully my image in your mind” you both laugh as you say that.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” you ask Jungkook as you’re both staring at the ocean.

“I had my first-ever kiss on camera, I’m a little claustrophobic, and other than for editing purposes, I’ve never actually sat down and watched any of the movies I’ve directed” you turn around to look at him,

“Why? They’re masterpieces, I cried for an hour after I got done watching Metropolitan” “Really, an hour? Also masterpieces?” “Yes, the movie so accurately portrayed the loneliness of living in a big city, that scene where she lays on her apartment floor crying by herself as the camera moves away showing an empty apartment, that hit a little close to my heart. I thought I’d never tell you this, but I decided to move closer to my parents because of that movie” a tear escapes Jungkook’s eye and you’re quick to wipe it away.

“You, um, wow, really, my movie touched you like that?” “Yes, and a million others too, you’re great at what you do. Do I need to remind you how gosh darn amazing you are” you try and cheer Jungkook up, poking his cheek. 

“My lady, can I have a dance with you?” You both had just gotten back from the last event of the week, a Forbes event. You both had a few too many drinks tonight, maybe that’s why he looks extra charming right now.

“Sure, my lord” you giggle playing along with him. The soft music sets the right tone as you rest your head on his chest. There’s silence in your hotel room as you both sway, you don’t know what love feels like, but your heart feels content and happy like it’s never before. Jungkook twirls you around, only to pull you even closer.

“So, I got us another room next door, one without cameras,” Jungkook says plastering a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

“Really?” you ask pulling away to get a good look at his face.

“Yes, only if you want to” “I want to” you reply a little too enthusiastically. Picking you up bridal style, he kisses you one last time before he walks out of the frame. 

Comments:

Lola: Jimin is right, they are adorable

SaggitariusQween: HOW ARE THE BOTH OF THEM SO BEAUTIFUL IN THE MORNING…

Zzzzz: Jimin get in line, we all want to date Hara

Yesto: This is going so well, too well

Ester: why can’t we get the sex on camera too, we’re too involved in this relationship anyway

Wallu: ___ had had such an interesting life

Dontlook: ___ talking about how much Jungkook’s movie affected him, just want he needed to hear

Kth: Can’t believe we just have two episodes to go

Episode 6: 

“I can’t believe you convinced me to take a hike,” you say holding bam in your arms.

“It was a barter babe, I helped you move, and in turn, you agreed to go on a hike with me and my son,” Jungkook says cooing at bam, he’s the smallest, cutest, puppy you’ve ever seen.

“Come on, it’s going to be so much fun, we’ll see the sunrise,” he says putting one of his airpod in your ear and blasting cheesy pop music.

“I’ve been updating my Instagram so often since we started dating, you take too many pictures of me,” you say as Jungkook is taking pictures of bam and you.

“Things are good, so good, too good, it’s a little self-sabotaging but I’m starting to worry about why things are so good” you confess to him as you’re climbing down the stairs, maybe hikes aren’t that bad.

“What’s the worse that could happen?” “We could have a major fight” “Then we would fight, talking about it, you can’t expect a relationship where there aren’t disagreements, as long as at the end of the day we still want to be with eachother, we’ll be fine” 

Jungkook had the great idea to throw a dinner party for all your friends instead of meeting them at different times.

“What if our friends don’t get along,” you ask him while struggling with a chain.

“So many things you’re worried about in that smart head of yours, what if things work out, have you ever thought about that” Jungkook says taking over with the jewelry.

“You really balance me out Kook,” you say looking at him through the mirror while he too, struggles with the chain.

“This should not be this difficult” he groans as the bell to your apartment rings.

“It must be Hara, she’s a master at this” You’re not wearing a chair for this dinner because Hara showed up one martini in and suddenly the hook was too small. On the plus side, everyone’s laughing, joking and getting along, especially Hara and Jimin.

“Oh my god, you’re handsome,” you say as Jungkook introduces you to his friend Jin.

“Jungkook, lock this one down, she has taste” Jin plays along shaking your hand.

“Okay that’s enough, you’re married and you’re dating me” 

“Okay, what did you tell Jimin because he’s been giving me some serious hints,” Hara asks you as you pour yourself another drink in the kitchen.

“I told him that you’d eat him alive,” you say as you watch Jungkook talking to a few of your friends.

“Like sexually-” “No, like emotionally, I’ve seen you with guys and if you do make a move on Jimin, just remember that he’s a dear friend and Jungkook holds grudges,” you say as Namjoon enters the kitchen with an empty glass.

“Alright” Namjoon hasn’t talked to you a lot, Jungkook thinks highly of him and you’re worried he doesn’t like you.

“Can I make you another drink?” you ask and Namjoon nods, still quiet.

“When Jungkook told me about the show I wasn’t very worried because he can be a little spontaneous, but I’m worried now because he’s actually fallen for you,” Namjoon says sipping on his drink.

“I don’t want to scare you or anything but I hope you’re sure about your feelings, I care about him a lot and so do you” he continues speaking but you’re still stuck on his last sentence. 

“How do you know if you’re in love with someone?” you ask your mother and she takes a long sip of her coffee.

“You just know when you are in love with him ___, is he constantly on your mind, does he make you feel better about yourself, do you see a future with him and does it feel right” your mother lists and you massage your head, feeling a headache coming.

“I’m just so, I have so many feelings for him and we’re so great together but what if the fairytale ends” this makes your mother frown.

“Is this because of your father and I? We might not be married to eachother but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore” “You love him, still?” “Not on most days, but we spent our youths together, we raised two confident, beautiful daughters. The concept of loving someone is selfless, you give and give until you can’t anymore. Maybe you’ll get hurt in the process, maybe you’ll find the love of your life, you just need to trust the process” she says with a reassuring pat on your hand.

“What if I hurt him, I think I’m more terrified of hurting him than me getting hurt” Namjoon’s words are still ringing in your mind.

“Darling, you might, but you need to stop worrying about what might happen. Focus on what is happening right now instead, you’ve met this incredible guy and you’re both crazy about eachother, focus on that” 

“So, ___, thoughts?” Jungkook’s gathered his hyungs at his apartment tonight, it was pretty easy to lure them with the promise of fried chicken and beer.

“She was hyping up your movie all through the dinner, she enjoys a good whiskey and is very charming, and we know for sure that she doesn’t indulge in insider trading, she’s kinda perfect for you,” Yoongi says taking a big swig of his beer.

“Are you sure about her feelings for you?” Namjoon asks the important question everyone has been thinking about.

“Yes,” Jungkook says confidently and Namjoon follows up with a how.

“She suggested we make Wednesday date night a thing, she’s been clear with her feelings and emotions so far, she leans on me for support and lets me do the same, and, um, not to be sappy but each second I spend with her feels meaningful” Namjoon is a little satisfied with Jungkook’s answer.

“Have you guys talked about marriage and kids? It’s really important to be on the same page about this stuff, and no you can’t change eachother mind about this” Jin says sternly, “We haven’t talked about it yet, it’s only been like a month and a half” he says getting a little defensive.

“There’s no rush in bringing it up yet, but wherever you do, talk about it in lengths because it’s important” he takes note of what Jin said. 

“Okay, let’s talk about the important stuff, is the sex good?” Jimin asks and multiple people groan at the same time, a few cushions are thrown in his face.

“It’s mindblowing” Jungkook mumbles and Namjoon and Jin stand up disagreeing.

“You are like a little brother to me why would I want to know that” “I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT” Jungkook’s giggling at how outraged the two are and Yoongi’s question only adds fuel to the fire,

“Is the sex good or does it get better every time” “It gets better every time” 

“How was your week? Wait what’s different?” you ask as Jungkook walks up to you.

“I’m dressed like you, the sweater, longline jacket, so many accessories, the boots, I’m dressed like you and I kinda like it” Jungkook twirls around for you and it’s shocking how accurate he is.

“Where did you get the boots from? Absolutely love them” “I stole a pair from Jimin hyung, he has too many pairs to notice one missing,” he says walking along with you, his hand draping across your waist.

“So, I just had coffee with my mom and worked out four times this week, what a productive week,” you say sarcastically as you take your seats.

“I don’t love it when you talk about yourself like that, it’s been a tough month for you, cut yourself some slack,” he says massaging your arm.

“Thank you,” you say kissing his cheek, “For what?” Jungkook asks as the lights in the stadium go dimmer.

“For being kind to me when I’m not” the concert crowd reves up with the first song.

“You’re very precious to me, I’m always going to be kind to you” you’re glad how easy it is for Jungkook to vocalize his emotions because you wish it was that easy for you. To just say a million things you feel as you both dance and sing around, you wish you could just vocalize how you feel. 

Comments:

Lola: ___ talking to her mother about love, made me call my mother

SaggitariusQween: Namjoon looking out for Jungkook, what a sappy bunch of dudes

Zzzzz: Jimin getting pillows thrown in his face for asking relevant questions

Yesto: Jungkook reassuring ___ is the kind of support I need

Ester: ‘So, ___, thoughts’ was sucha relevant question

Wallu: please I’m hoping to god they end up together, I’ll stop believing in love if they don’t

Dontlook: I don’t know why I’m more curious about Hara and Jimin

Kth: Can’t believe we just have one episode to go

Episode 7: 

It was the final week of the show, it was also very close to d-day, and you were freaking out about it.

“I’m just going to focus on work, I have a shit ton of it to get through” you tell Hara as you’re driving her to work.

“So, do you or do you not want to know more about my first date weekend with the guy you set me up with” “correction, I did not do that so when this thing ends in a colossal mess, I don’t want to be blamed for it,” you say sipping on your coffee while stopping at a red light.

“What does a first date weekend even mean?” you ask driving again and Hara snickers a little too gleefully.

“We went on a first date on Friday, ended up at his place and spent the rest of the weekend together,” she says throwing you a wink, telling you exactly what they did the entire weekend.

“At first, I just thought he was hot and had a great ass, but we talked so much. I think he’s the first guy after Eric that I’ve emotionally connected with” Hara says while she’s texting the mentioned guy.

“Eric, your high school boyfriend,” you ask very shocked, “Yes, he might be the one ___” she says with a dreamy look on her face.

“Just take it a little slow, play it safe, we don’t want you getting hurt again” “Life is too short to always play it safe ___” 

“I promise you don’t have to go through this, we can just forget about this” Jungkook has been trying to talk you out of the tattoo for a while now, but you’re willing to go through it.

You handed the tattoo artist a cute drawing of the winking emoticon Jungkook made, very similar to Jungkook’s own tattoo.

“It’s kinda silly and cute like you” Jungkook worried, he was worried that the tattoo might hurt, that you might change your mind, that you might regret it. You’re getting it done on your right, upper inner arm, and you’re scared about it hurting too much.

“Just relax and sit back, it’ll be done in a few minutes,” the tattoo artist says and you exhale really loud as the pen touches you for the first time,

Jungkook can feel the pain based on how hard you’re clutching onto his hand.

“So, I’m thinking about changing apartments?” Jungkook says in an effort to distract you.

“Really? your apartment is pretty big already” you say clutching your lip in pain.

“Yes, but I want a house with a backyard for bam” “You’re such a great pet owner, Jesus fucking christ” you don’t get used to the pain, rather it gets worse.

“And I um, want a garden to grow some flowers and vegetables, my dad’s great at gardening stuff and I want to have a hobby in common with him” Jungkook keeps talking and you’re starting to relax just a bit.

“Because I can’t for the life of me learn how to golf, it’s such a boring game” “You’re such an amazing son, I hope our kids learn that from you” 

Jungkook ignored the insane thing you said all through the time you get your tattoo done. He doesn’t bring it up as he’s driving to dinner.

“Okay, that was a super insane thing to say this early in a relationship” you finally address the elephant in the room and Jungkook can’t help but giggle at your anxiousness.

“I was taken aback for a second too, but um-” “I was in so much pain that the talking filter in my mind was broken, I am so sorry,” you say as he stops at a red light.

“You don’t need to be sorry, but it’s cute to think that you think of our future, our kids” Jungkook’s trying to make this all easy for you by teasing you but it only mortifies you more.

“Why did I say that, I want the earth to open up and swallow me” you cringe all over and he can’t help but laugh.

“It wasn’t that bad, I was thinking about bringing up the topic of kids and you just dropped it like an atom bomb,” he says and you hit his arm hard.

“Can we cancel dinner, I’ll just take a cab home” you suggest and Jungkook nods a no aggressively.

“On the other side of cringe is a fun evening ___, we’re going to eat sushi and go sing some karaoke”

“I didn’t know we were doing karaoke” “We weren’t but I just added it to today's agenda”

“Holy smokes babe you’re so off-key,” Jungkook says as you very passionately sing a prince song.

“I like it when you call me babe, babe” truth be told, the sake you had with dinner is hitting hard right now.

Case and point, the complete bench is empty but you take a seat on Jungkook’s lap.

“I noticed, the first time I said it your eyes lit up. You tested the waters with Kook too but I like babe better, babe” he says browsing through the music selection, looking for the perfect song.

“I also would like to try honey and sweetheart, those are such classics too,” you say and Jungkook finally selects a song.

“Honey, I’m looking forward to all the new nicknames to come, my sweetheart,” he says as you stand up to get some water.

“That sentence didn’t make sense grammar-wise, but love the sentiment” he surprises you with a quick twirl, you almost stumble but he catches you as he starts singing.

“I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more. Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweetheart of yours” Jungkook sings sweetly and you look at him with the most love-sick look, you’ll never be the same kind of happy you are today. 

“I can’t believe it’s been fifty days already, time went by too quickly” Jungkook sighed sitting in the same conference room he sat down for the pre-filming interviews.

“___ and you have been the only couple out of the six couples who stayed with their initial match till the end,” the interviewer tells and Jungkook gasps with surprise.

“We were too perfectly matched already” Jungkook can’t help but brag a little.

“During the early dates with ___, did at any point you feel like changing your partner?” the question makes Jungkook think of the earlier dates.

“I was very fascinated by ___ on our first date, and with the gradual growth that we had I was only more curious to know more about her” Jungkook answers honestly and the interviewer nods with a smile.

“Do you think 50 days is enough time to fall in love with someone?” he giggles before answering this one, “I think I fell for her when we were in LA, she was such a champion for me through the complete trip. If I were to pinpoint the exact moment, it’d be the second she told me how much my movie affected her.” Jungkook can’t stop smiling, he’s a little giddy to see you. 

“I think around date number three I realised how much Jungkook’s out of my league, but at the same time, I so badly wanted him to be interested in me” you answer the interviewee's question about any time during the month you felt insecure about the relationship.

“Do you have any regrets at the end of these 50 days?” she asks and you sigh sitting back in your chair.

“I wish I had been more vocal with my compliments and feelings towards him, he always tells me how beautiful I am, how I’m doing better, I wish I had been a little less scared of being forward with him”

“Did you fall in love with Jungkook, if yes, when?” you take a good few minutes to answer this question, “When we went to the concert, that’s when I fell for him. My professional life had been in the gutter, to put it gently, and Jungkook told me I was very precious to him, and there was this sinking feeling in my heart, I knew I was down bad for him” a tear rolled down your cheek as you talk about that.

“Jungkook left you this” it’s a card that tells you where he’s waiting for you. 

“It was very easy to guess your favourite place in Seoul Kook, you should have made me work a little harder for it” you spot him sitting on a bench facing the Han river.

“I didn’t want to make you work for it at all, I’m very impatient today,” Jungkook says like he isn’t impatient all the time. Jungkook lifts you a little off the ground when as he hugs you, your laughter feels like music to his ears.

“So, before we talk any further, I have something for you,” you say handing him a very plain envelope.

“You wrote me a letter?” he asks and you nod, letting him read the letter you poured your heart into.

Jungkook,

I am not the best at saying what I’m feeling, so I’ve decided to write them down. This list might seem like a weird way to share how I’m feeling but that’s how my mind works.

1. I love how caring you are, and how at times you put me first even when you don’t need to

2. I love that you cry while reading books, it shows how kind-hearted you are

3. I love how you are patient with me and our relationship, even when it’s frustrating at times

4. I love how passionate you are about your work, it shows how much you care

5. I love how reassuring you are, and how you remind me to be gentle with myself. 

6. I love your voice, you could be a singer in another life

7. I love the way you kiss me, I could never get tired of it

And, most importantly, I love you. 

Love,

___

PS. if this reads a little too cringy, we will never speak of this letter again, capiche?

Jungkook’s floored as he’s done reading the letter, you wipe a few tears from his face.

“Never thought a list would make me feel like this” he jokes putting away the letter and circling his arms around you.

“Lists can be very inspirational, especially when written by me” you play along avoiding his eyes.

“___, look at me,” he says pulling your face up with a gentle touch on your chin.

“I love you, I love you in a way that frightens and excites me, I love you” Jungkook kisses you passionately at the end of his sentence, he can feel you smiling against his lips and he doesn’t want to stop. 

Comments:

Lola: not gonna lie, the list broke me

SaggitariusQween: They’re so in love, I’m so happy for them yet for some reason I want to run into traffic.

Zzzzz: The nicknames are so darn cute

Yesto: I understand ___’s need to want kids with Jungkook asap

Ester: them talking about the moment they fell in love with the biggest smiles, made me a little too happy

Wallu: Hoping this couple lasts long because I couldn’t believe in love if they don’t

Dontlook: Okay, just checked their Instagrams and they’re all over each other’s pages, glad they’re still in love

Kth: Can’t believe there’s not going to be another Jungkook and ___ episode

A year later…

The bed is empty and cold when you wake up, putting on a robe you wince because of the morning light as you walk downstairs. Jungkook’s humming by himself as he flips the omelette, he knows better than to cut up fruit, after last night the both of you need a big, hearty breakfast. His plans to surprise you with breakfast in bed are ruined by you hugging him from behind.

“I hate waking up with you not in bed” you mumble against his bare back and he chuckles turning around to face you.

“I am sorry, but in my defence, you were supposed to be asleep so I could be the perfect boyfriend,” he says kissing you on the lips.

“You are already a perfect boyfriend,” you say kissing him with a smile on your face, the perfect moment is broken up by the toaster going off.

“So, happy first anniversary,” Jungkook says and you look at him all puzzled and confused.

“Our anniversary isn’t for another month, that’s why we planned the Paris trip for next month,” you say and he frowns his eyebrows.

“No, we’re going on the trip next month because of my scheduling issues and a year ago today, we went on our first date” Jungkook has a lot of things prepared for today.

“I thought our anniversary would be the day I accidentally called you my boyfriend and you went along with it”  you made sure to mark that date in your calendar, never wanting to forget it.

“How do we decide on this?” “Rock, paper and scissors” you suggest and Jungkook complies immediately. Like always he pulls a paper and you pull scissors,

“How the fuck do you always win? What kind of witchcraft is this?” he groans with outrage.

“So, Our anniversary is next month but I’d still like those gifts. I on the other hand didn’t get you any gifts because like we decided, our anniversary is next month” you snatch the small bag from his hands, it's jewelry for sure. 

“What, is this a ring? Are you proposing? How dare you just hand me my engagement ring like it’s a random cup of coffee” you’re the one outraged this time but he just laughs sitting up in his bed.

“First off, you literally stanched the gift from my hands and just open it,” he says and you gently open the velvet box. It’s not a ring, it’s a pendant, a replica of the pendant your grandmother gave you and you lost a few years ago.

“Oh my god, this is the sweetest thing ever, my god you’re sweet. I love you” you say pecking his lips and he’s still fixated on the small bag.

“There’s more to it, look inside” you find a polaroid picture of Jungkook and you from a year ago, behind it reads, ‘Let’s move in together the card and the gift makes you tear up a little.

“I don’t have a gift for you yet Kook, it’s arriving next week and it’s not as sentimental as this one,” you say cuddling closer to you. 

“You’re the only gift I need ___, other than the vintage camcorder you’ve already bought me”

“I knew Jimin is too weak to keep a secret” you groan about the ruined surprise.

“Hara’s made him weak, can’t believe they’re pregnant” Jungkook sighs as he’s looking back at the year, it’s been a life-changing year.

“I know we’re too busy to have a kid right now, how about we have very protected sex in our bed” Jungkook suggests pulling you in his lap.

“Our bed” you aw about the fact that you’re both moving in together while Jungkook leaves a trail of sloppy kisses.

[fxtalitygod]

III. ~𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥~

Pairing: Trueform!Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were determined to survive, longer than anyone, even if you were set to marry him.

Genre: Historical AU, angst, mature, suggestive, arranged-marriage

Warnings: Dark themes, Y/n going through trauma, slightly implied r*pe, dubcon/noncon, sex during pregnancy, slight mentions of suicide (if you squint), Pet names (Y/n called Little Flower 3-5x) implications/mentions of murder, language/swearing, gruesome images/depictions (horror), Y/n isolating herself/going through depressive episodes, mentions of miscarriage, pregnancy (unwanted by Y/n)

Word Count: 3.3k

Note: I'm sorry this took a while, I've had a bit of writer's block and have been quite busy these days. Anyways, I can guarantee this series will be no longer than six parts the minimum being five. Also, just to remind or inform people who do not know, I have opened my asks! If you want to ask me any questions about this story or to talk about hcs, maybe even suggestions, have at it! I will also be posting more consistently after publishing this part. Moving on, enjoy part three of Survival!

JJK Mlist•Taglist Rules•

• Pt.I • Pt. II • Pt.III • Pt.IV

"Well, based on my observation, my Little Flower, it seems that you're pregnant."

Your heart stopped when those words left Sukuna's lips.

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"Pregnant."

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"Pregnant."

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"Pregnant."

The room was starting to spin. The walls felt like they were closing in on you. Your whole world came crashing down in an instant.

You knew that you were going to inevitably bear Sukuna's child, just a few moments ago worrying about infertility, but the news was so sudden you couldn't help but be terrified.

Your hand touched your stomach, stroking it with your thumb. As your thumb brushed over your lower abdomen you began to hope that the past 5 minutes was just some nightmare or you had somehow misinterpreted Sukuna's words, but you could feel the slight bump that was there.

You stared off into space as you continued to mindlessly stroke at your belly. Different scenarios began popping into your mind. One image you couldn't get out of your head was giving birth to a monster, one that would end up killing you in two possible ways: one being where it killed you during labor. The second way being it killed you as you brought it up.

You would have come up with more scenarios, but your thoughts were stopped when you felt a hand placed on top of yours. You moved your gaze to look at Sukuna, who was staring at your stomach. He had a strange look on his face, one that you had a hard time explaining. The best way you could describe it was that he looked somewhat confused.

Before you could make any sort of comment, faking to be the loyal wife, he pulled his hand back. He only looked at your stomach for a few seconds more before looking up at you with a smug grin on his face. It took every part of your being to not wipe that look off his face.

“I think this deserves some sort of celebration, don’t you think?” Sukuna asked, tilting his head as he waited for your answer.

You were confused. Was he talking about sex or an actual celebration? You couldn’t tell as you couldn’t sense any sexual intent in his question but nor could you see why he would want to celebrate your pregnancy.

You had never heard or witnessed any other celebrations of pregnancies around the other wives, so what made yours any different to deserve a festivity. Was it since it took almost a year for you to bear a child? Was it because there was a sign you weren’t infertile? You didn’t understand and because you didn’t understand, you had forced yourself to question Sukuna and his judgment.

“I’m sorry to ask but, why? I have never heard of any other celebrations revolving around the pregnancy of any of the other wives.”

Silence

You began to feel nervous as you felt like you had upset Sukuna or offended him in some way. Even though you knew he wouldn’t hurt you, due to the current conditions you were in, his silence still made you fear what he would do to you.

Before you could bow and apologize, you heard a deep chuckle that then turned into a burst of manic laughter. You couldn’t process what was going on, but the laughter that had erupted from the four-armed man began to settle.

“I knew you were special from the moment I laid eyes on you, Y/n. Just like you, the children inside of your womb will be special as well. With that being said, I believe a special occasion like this deserves some sort of celebration, don’t you think?”

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Children, not a child.

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If your world was crashing down before, it was destroyed now. You were carrying more than one child. The thought made you want to collapse then and there, but you had to keep your composure. You hadn’t made it this far to only give up.

“I suppose…”

“Well then I’m glad we’ve come to an agreement,” Sukuna announced, before catching your lips in a rough, violating kiss before exiting the room, leaving your bare form mindlessly standing there.

From the first night of being with Sukuna, aside from being bedded by him, pregnancy was one of your greatest fears of being with the man. Pregnancy itself isn’t what scared you, but the result of the pregnancy instead.

Sukuna is human, despite his inhuman form, he still needed to eat, sleep, and breathe like the rest of you; however, there were exceptions for how often he would have to perform those human necessities. Still, he bled the same blood as you.

What did this have to do with anything?

Well, although you knew Sukuna was human, you had a recurring nightmare of giving birth to a curse. There had been an old tale where a woman had managed to give birth to three curses, how she managed to do it still being a mystery. All you knew is that it could be possible.

That tale had been engraved into your brain ever since you found out that you were the next to wed Sukuna, thinking about it every day up until your consummation. With the current situation, that fear started to build up within you; however, the situation had slightly changed. Now there was a possibility that you could give birth to more than one curse.

You could feel your breathing get a little heavier as you let your thoughts run wild. The image of curses ripping out from your stomach was a gruesome one that kept repeating itself.

You lowered yourself to the ground, curling up in a corner you had no idea you had made your way over to. The room was spinning, the air felt as if it was getting thinner, your chest felt as if it was caving in on your rapidly beating heart.

You were glad Sukuna had left when he did because if he had seen you in your current state he would’ve gotten the satisfaction of seeing you break, a sight he has admitted to you that he wanted to see. His specific words were:

“You know Little Flower, it would be a great pleasure to watch you crumble up in my hands like the delicate flower I refer to you as. I must admit it would be pretty arousing as well, but it seems that you are a lot less delicate than I thought, always giving me those blank stares and minimal reactions. You are an interesting one Little Flower.”

You were utterly disgusted by those words, with the fact he would get off at your misery and pain. If he were here watching your current state, and if it weren’t for the fact you were pregnant, he would most likely end up throwing you upon the bed and fuck you relentlessly, filling you with his seed to the point that there would be nothing left to fill.

So you were glad that he left you be instead of antagonizing you more than he already had, it was the last thing you needed.

You sat there for a while, looking at the floor, losing track of time. You appreciated the silence, as it would most likely be the last time you would get to enjoy it.

A knock was eventually heard at the door, but you didn’t bother to get up, you wanted to enjoy the silence a little longer. It wasn’t until the door opened that you finally decided to look up. It was one of the maids with what looked to be a new kimono in hand.

You didn’t get up on your own, a couple of other maids had to come in to help you get up. You were rushed to the bathing room and was scrubbed down gently before getting clothed. As you were being dressed, a maid had brushed her hand over your stomach making you flinch and grab the maid's wrist. Whatever rustles, clips or clacks were heard before had died. The maids stood there staring at you shocked and a little terrified at your reaction.

You didn’t know what had come over you. The reaction was solely based on impulse. You meant no harm in your action, but it still shocked you. Why had you reacted like that? Maybe it was because you were disgusted with the fact there was a part of Sukuna inside you or maybe it was disgust with yourself, even a mix of both.

The maid looked up at you with fear in her eyes, as if she knew something was going to happen, the way she quickly bowed her head proved that. You could only sigh, a slight shake behind it, before letting go of her wrist. You only stood there as the rest of the maids tried to dress you with caution, avoiding your stomach as they could tell that was what caused your previous action.

Once they were finished you had expected them to leave you be, but that wasn’t the case. They stayed by your side for the rest of the afternoon, watching you as if you would disappear if they looked away.

The only time the maids left your side is when you would go socialize with the other wives. Most of them had already heard the news and began to congratulate you

That sickened you.

You couldn’t find this pregnancy as some miracle or as anything worth congratulating or celebrating. It was some form of punishment, a punishment you didn’t deserve. It didn’t matter what crime you committed, you firmly believed you should not have to give birth to a monster’s child. Unfortunately, you didn’t have a say in the matter, the only way out of it was to lose the babies naturally; however, your life still would not be guaranteed if you were to have a miscarriage. Sukuna would probably think you were incapable of carrying a child and leave you to die or kill you himself if he were to think you had killed the offspring purposely.

You decided on enduring it, like the perfect little wife you were, taking every congratulation with a smile on your face. You weren’t going to let whatever creatures were swimming inside you steer you away from your main goal; you were going to go home.

A couple more months had passed, your baby bump more visible than before. A lot had changed in those few months, even Sukuna himself.

No, the man had not become loving and endearing to you, but he had been a lot less reckless with you than before. He was a bit more gentle with his touches and a bit softer with his words.

Despite your pregnancy, the man still bedded you, claiming that seeing you round with his children turned him on; however, he was a lot more gentle, trying to avoid harming the children inside of you. You still had some bite and scratch marks, but they weren’t as excessive as they were before.

Your pregnancy could be considered both a blessing and a curse. The benefits mostly included assistance around the temple. Seeing as you couldn’t perform most of your normal tasks, Sukuna gave you a personal assistant. The girl he assigned to you was no less than a year or two younger than you, she was very diligent and quite comforting to be around, she never tried to pry about your relationship with the two-faced man or your pregnancy as other maids had done in the past; she was silent and calm which brought you relief.

Moving on, the disadvantages included Sukuna’s new obsession with you. If Sukuna wasn’t breathing down your neck before he definitely was now. Because you didn’t have much to do, you had a lot of free time on your hands. Instead of sitting in the solace of a quiet room where you could quietly read or think to yourself, you were constantly being bombarded by Sukuna. Ever since he found out you were pregnant he began to keep a close eye on you. Your stay in his chambers, which you thought was temporary until he got you pregnant, had now become permanent. The first and last thing you would see every morning and night was Sukuna’s Cheshire grin looking down at you.

Moving off the subject of pros and cons, you were handling the pregnancy smoothly in your opinion. It wasn’t that you enjoyed any part of it, but there was nothing you could do about it now; the best thing you could do is see it through. It wouldn’t be long until your due date. You have seen plenty of medics who have checked on the progress of your pregnancy to confirm that.

There were moments where you hoped for those visits to come around, even if they were invasive checkups because you would hope the doctor would tell you that you had a miscarriage and give you false comfort. You stopped enjoying the visits when you realized those words that would bring you great relief was never going to be uttered.

You remembered the day you gave up. You were sitting in the corner of an empty room, staring off into space. Your mind had completely shut down that day, if somebody were to walk by they would’ve thought you were dead.

You were slowly stroking your round belly, humming a lullaby your mother used to sing to you as a kid. The lullaby was more for yourself than anything, it brought you comfort. As a little girl you had always imagined yourself singing that lullaby to your own children — now you were, but not in the way you were hoping.

You wanted nothing more than to get this pregnancy over with, it felt like the swimmers inside you were eating you alive. Although you were physically healthy, you were still drained from all the ongoing life of being Ryomen Sukuna's perfect "Little Flower".

As you hummed the last bit of the lullaby, you heard quick footsteps approaching the door. Too exhausted to move you sat there, staring at the wall in front of you. You were a little grateful when you saw the door open, revealing your personal attendant. When her eyes landed on your curled-up form she quickly approached, assisting you with standing up.

"Are you alright, Y/n-sama?" she asked, concern apparent in her voice.

"I want it to be over," you mumbled, head hanging low.

"Pardon?"

You stayed silent, deciding it was best to just keep quiet, you didn't exactly know to what extent your attendant's loyalty to Sukuna was, so it was a possibility that she could rat you out.

"Nothing."

Your attendant didn't bother to question you after that, knowing that it was best to not pry. You walked in silence as you were brought to Sukuna's chambers to rest. You were relieved when you walked in to find that Sukuna was not there. You were brought to the bed and assisted in settling down.

Saying a quick goodbye, your attendant left the room. When you heard the door slide shut, you rolled onto your back, despite your discomfort, looking up at the ceiling. You stared at that ceiling for a while, losing track of time again, letting a single thought consume you.

"Get the fuck out of me."

That was the last thing you mumbled before falling asleep for god knows how long.

It was silent the next morning, an uncommon occurrence, it surprised you, but it left you at peace as well. You didn't bother to open your eyes because you would rather enjoy the silence than wake up to the daily chaos that went around in the temple. You waited for a little while longer, wanting to enjoy the tranquility of the room.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was the ceiling. Had you not moved at all from the previous day? How long had you been asleep? Was it even morning? You had so many questions, everything felt off. You turned your head to see that the sheets were slightly disheveled, but nothing too excessive. Sukuna had been there, but he hadn't done anything to you, making you feel even more off.

You stayed there for a while, thinking about the situation. You didn't understand why you felt so on edge, it wasn't that you were worried about Sukuna nor did you care that he wasn't there, but something didn't feel right and it was bothering you.

You could hear shuffling footsteps outside the door, but nobody ever came in. You thought about it for a little while longer before realizing that the new month had started, meaning there would be another poor, defenseless girl to suffer the same fate the rest of you did.

You had a feeling you would be moved out of the room soon, so you decided not to move. You hummed your mother's lullaby as you waited, relishing in the comfort the sweet melody gave you.

You laid there all morning and afternoon, waiting to be moved out. You could hear all the commotion from outside the room. The wives and servants around the temple were gossiping, talking about the young girl who was to join Sukuna's little harem. You could only feel pity for the girl, but you would never show that. From experience, you knew that pity wouldn't do anything but make the girl feel worse; pity would just make her feel some sort of shame.

Your thoughts came to a hault when you heard claps and yells from outside the temple, signifying the festival had ended and that the Sukuna would be making his way over soon, his new prey in hand.

You didn't bother getting up, assuming that it would take the two a little while to get to the room anyways. You stayed there for about another hour, feeling a few kicks here and there from the inside of your belly before suddenly hearing doors opening from the inside of the temple and a bit of chatter.

"I'm am very much honored to be your wife Su-"

"Keep your mouth shut."

Sukuna's tone caught you off guard. He had never really used that angry tone with any of his wives that way. Yes, Sukuna would sound indifferent towards the wives, but never really angry, well not this angry at least.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offen- wait! wait! wait!" you heard the girl panic before hearing a piercing scream.

Out of shock, you began to sit up; you tried to sit up, but a stabbing pain had stopped you. You gasped, mouth agape as you felt the pain again. You held your stomach as you tried to catch your breath, the pain only getting worse. You thought that it was maybe because you had been sleeping on your back, but the pain started to progressively get worse as you tried to sit up again. It wasn't until you felt like you were splitting open did you let out an ear-piercing scream. Tears began rolling down your face as you threw yourself back onto the bed in hopes that it would reduce the pain, but it did nothing.

The sliding door to the room burst open, there stood Sukuna, covered in blood, your attendant standing next to him. Your attendant quickly rushed over to you as you let out another scream of pain and agony.

You hadn't noticed, but Sukuna had come over to stand by your side, and out of impulse you grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard, another wave of pain taking over your body. You felt as if you were being torn from the inside out and it was only getting worse.

"What’s going on with her?" Sukuna asked with a little bit of urgency in his voice.

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"She's going into labor, Sukuna-sama!"

[meetmyothersouls]

Oh, please please do a second part to 'One Night Stand'❤ (also I love you)

I love you!! Here you go!

One Night Stand

Part 2 (reader’s POV)

Warnings: light smut

I managed to leave the hotel without waking him up. I knew that if he did, I wouldn’t have been able to. It killed me to sneak out of his warm grasp. To peel his arms away from me and leave them empty. I left him a note, I didn’t write anything other than a quote I knew he’d recognize. I could have left him my number, but I didn’t. I didn’t want him to contact me. Our lives wouldn’t mesh well together. People like me weren’t meant for people like him. So I left our relationship as is: a one night stand. 

As I hopped into a taxi, I wondered what he was doing. Was he still asleep? Had he woken up to the empty bed? I had only met him less than 24 hours ago but I already felt empty as the taxi drove me away from a night so magical I could have surly dreamt it. But it wasn’t a dream. The small purple love marks he left on my neck were proof. I touched them with my finger tips and could still feel him. I could taste him on my lips. Maybe he’d be mad. For having sex with him not once, but twice and sneaking off before he woke up. Maybe he’d be sad. Fuck. That thought alone could have been enough for me to ask the driver to turn the taxi around and take me back to him. Maybe he’d never think of me again and maybe that was good. 

I lived in New York and after a recent breakup with an abusive ex, I had no home. Staying in the hotel was pretty decent gig, and much cheaper, and nicer, than the typical New York apartment. So I lived there. For six months I stayed there writing articles for newspapers and magazines. Finding opportunities to interview celebrities, artists, and musicians and using their comments for my work. But, it was time for a new hotel, now that...well, you know. 

A week went by since my encounter with Timothee Chalamet. I didn’t know it was possible to miss a human you barely knew, but I did. Especially as I began writing about his latest film and my question I asked him. The cursor blinked at me on the screen. Taunting me. 

My phone rang and I answered without looking. 

“Hello?”

Silence. 

“Uhm, hello??”

Silence and then dial tone. 

“Okay...” I said out loud as I resumed my typing. I managed a few sentences before giving up. Shutting my laptop and tossing it to the side. I looked him up. I went to his Instagram and scrolled through, just to see his face again. “Pathetic,” I thought to myself. My phone rang again, interrupting my scrolling. Unknown caller. I sent it to voicemail, but they didn’t leave one. I fell asleep that night scrolling through his pictures, part of me wished I would have gotten one with him before I left him.

A dreamless sleep was interrupted by the sound and feeling of vibrations in my hand. It was the unknown caller again. Decline. I stayed in my hotel room that day opting for comfort. I ordered pizza and watched episodes of Friends on Netflix straight into the evening. 

It was 8:30 when my phone rang again. 

I answered that time, “Listen, if you don’t stop fucking calling me I --” 

“Y/n.” 

That voice. It stopped me dead in my tracks. “Who is this?” 

“It’s --” 

“H-how did you get my number?” 

“I’m sorry, you left and I...I got it from the front desk the second I realized you were gone. I paid them. I couldn’t let you go. Do you know how much I’ve thought about you? I haven’t been able to do a damn thing. I don’t know if you left because you don’t want me or, if it’s...for some other reason, but I had to hear your voice and I...” 

There was a knock at my door.

I unlocked it with shaky hands and slowly opened it. And there he was, his phone in his hand. His hair wet from the rain outside. It dripped onto his face and clothes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in the entire week that we’d been apart. 

“...I had to see your face. To see if you were real, or just an angle I had the pleasure of dreaming about. I had to see if you’d let me make you so happy, because I would.” He dropped his phone from his ear. I let mine slide out of my hand and onto the floor. We stared at each other. He didn’t cross the threshold as he whispered, “please, you are all I want. I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on you. Please, don’t make me leave.” 

I grabbed the collar of his wet jacket and pulled him inside, attaching my lips to his in the process. His hair dripped earthy tasting water onto my face and clothes. I peeled his jacket off and let it fall to the floor. His breaths were shaky as we separated, staring at each other again. Perhaps he was wondering if it was real. He touched my face and I leaned into it. His hands. Those fucking hands. I never thought I’d feel the delicate touch they were capable of again. But he was there and he was real and the moment was real. 

As I took in the situation, I couldn’t help but laugh. “What?” He asked chuckling at my laughter. “It’s just, the last time...I was the one who needed new clothes and now you need new clothes. You are drenched.” He stared at me, and smiled. His eyes scanned my face, in a way that a lover looks over his mate.

 “It’s okay. The walk in the rain was worth it.” 

“You walked? In the middle of a storm?” 

There was silence and then a hunger that took over us both instantly. I pulled his shirt out of his pants and over his head. He fumbled with his belt then his pants and we found ourselves in a familiar walk to my bed. He was naked, his body was covered in goosebumps as the cool air hit is damp skin. I pulled my shirt over my head, “take me, please,” I whispered. He was on me in seconds pulling at my shorts and scooting me further up the bed. He wasted no time as he pushed himself into me. We groaned in unison at the feeling of being one again. He made love to me, it was needier than our first time now that we’d experienced it and been with out it. Our lips connected with a passion that could not be replicated or achieved by any other lover. He buried himself into me over and over again until we were both shaking. I found myself pulsating around him as I cam on his cock. A feeling that brought him to his release promptly. He collapsed beside of me, and pulled me into his arms. My face buried into the crook of his neck, I inhaled his scent deeply. He brought his hands to my cheeks and lifted my face to his. “Please don’t leave again,” he pressed a soft kiss to my lips, “I might not be able to find you next time, and I cannot live with that. If you’re scared we’ll work through it, please don’t run.” His voice laden with desperation.

“I won’t. You’ve got me.”

Tags: @imnotoverlyobsessive @dayafied @soulofendlessbook @fashphotolife @chicchanelcigs @scentedkittenperfection @timotheeisthelomll @weasleytwinscumslut @mxciscastleintheair @marvelmaniac2000 @lovelyrocker @divine-1

[the-bau-quinjet]

Seven Drinks

Bucky x f!reader

Summary: There's a reason Y/N has never had more than 3 drinks around the other avengers, and they're about to find out.

Warnings: depression, thoughts of suicide, panic attacks, angst (don't worry there's fluff too)

Word Count: 4322

a/n: This is inspired by that episode of Brooklyn 99 with 6 drink Amy (I adopted that concept!) and also Halsey's album Manic. :) I hope you like it. Anything in bold is a lyric from one of the songs on the album!

Please let me know if I messed up the trigger warning tags! I've never written anything like this before, so I just want to make sure I do it right.

Masterlist

"We're having a party tonight." Tony's announcement was met with the usual groans of annoyance at having to schmooze with the typical socialites that attended Tony's party. "You know, you are so ungrateful sometimes. here I am trying to throw you a party, and you're complaining!"

"Tony, we all appreciate the effort you go to, but- at least speaking for me- I don't like people." Y/N's response was effortless, swiftly calming Tony and explaining the reactions.

"That is why-" Tony stuttered when he actually registered the words you said. "That doesn't sound like you at all. And besides, this is a party for just us. It'll be more like team building, but without any pre-planned activities. No "smarmy, rich people" to deal with." He directed his last sentence at Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

The team actually seemed excited at the prospect, albeit skeptical of Tony's motivations.

Unsurprisingly, Nat worked up the courage to question him on it first, "what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just friends, food, and lots of alcohol." His grin quickly shifted into a smirk as the entire room turned to look at you.

You groaned slightly, not wanting all the attention. "Look, there is a reason I cap myself at 3 drinks." Holding up one finger, you started to explain, "One drink Y/N is barely any different from my sober self."

Wanda quickly cut you off, "not true! You get louder." She smirked, happy to have added that tidbit of information.

"Fine." With a laugh, you admitted she was right. "I might get the tiniest bit louder." You held up a second finger to continue your explanation, but were once again cut off.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just your happy, bubbly, and slightly louder than normal personality shining through!" Nat added, seeing an opportunity to tease you for being so positive all the time.

"Thanks Nat. Anyway," emphasizing the rudeness of being interrupted twice, you continued, "two drink Y/N is more touchy feely than normal. Not in a creepy way though!"

"I love two drink Y/N. She gives the best hugs!" Thor eagerly added to the conversation, glad to have dropped by when he did.

"Thanks Thor." With a small smile in his direction, you held up a third finger. "Three drink Y/N is the perfect amount of just past tipsy to have fun without doing anything extremely embarrassing. It makes the most sense to stop there." You finished her little speech with your typical smile and a resolute nod of your head.

"Seriously, you need to relax. Just let loose this one time!" Sam tried to encourage you. With the eyes of nearly every avenger set on you, your resolve didn't last very long.

"Fine! Maybe I'll have a fourth drink." You were met with cheers as you rose from your spot on the couch, trying to prepare for the night that was to come.

--

As soon as you stepped off the elevator, you had a drink in your hand. Clearly your friends were going to make sure you got a fourth drink. even Steve seemed excited when he saw you, although his golden boy personality didn't disappear completely.

"You sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured!" Bucky nodded, weirdly enthusiastically, before adding, "Yeah doll, don't drink more than you want to."

"You two are too sweet. Sam's right, but don't tell him I said that." You winked at the two super soldiers, emphasizing the joke. "I should let myself relax sometimes. I'm in a safe place, with friends who won't let anything happen to me. What could a few more drinks really do?" You couldn't help but smile at how true that was. You were surrounded by people who care about you.

"Oh, so now it's a few more drinks? What are we talking here, six drink Y/N? Seven?" Bucky teased.

"You'll have to wait and see, Ducky." You teased right back, knowing how flustered he got at the pet name. Steve laughed at his friend as you walked away, ready for your second drink.

--

Before long, you had your fourth drink in your hand. It was slightly odd how literally everyone was staring at you, but your were three drink Y/N at the time, so you were drunk enough not to care.

You downed the fourth drink, unprepared for the consequences.

"So, Y/N... how do you feel?" Clint braved the waters, everyone eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"That is so nice of you to ask! I feel great! I don't think I've ever been this happy." You jumped up and down, hugging Clint with a huge smile on your face.

"How did you get even happier?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"Do you not like it?" Like a switch had been flipped, you were nearly crying.

"What?! No!" Tony was so taken aback at the tears pooling in your eyes, he froze, unsure how to fix it. He looked around the room for help, but everyone else was just as shocked as him.

"I'll fix it!" You were at the bar, fixing another drink before anyone fully comprehended your mood swing.

You walked back up to the group, sipping from your fifth drink as if nothing happened. "What?" You questioned the odd looks, but before receiving an answer you squealed, again jumping up and down. "Let's dance!" You turned around, ready to move to the more open area before looking back over your shoulder, "Wanda! Nat! Pepper! Come on!"

The women shared a look, ultimately shrugging before joining you on the makeshift dance floor.

-

"Bucky, you've been staring at her for 20 straight minutes. When are you finally gonna talk to her?" Steve couldn't help but pester him about his feelings.

"I can't help it. I've never seen her dance so much. I mean, I know she's always happy, but this is a whole new level." He didn't take his eyes off of you, even when he was responding. "I can't tell her tonight, though. This is the most she's had to drink in years."

He watched as you moved back over to the bar, needing another drink after dancing so much.

"Here we go, six drink Y/N." Bucky gestured to the bar. Steve shook his head, but allowed the change of topic.

-

About five minutes after your sixth drink, you were somehow bounding around with even more energy. You were nearly running around the room, trying to talk to everyone at once.

"Ducky! Have I ever told you I took gymnastics lessons for 7 years when I was younger?" You were bouncing with pent up energy, excited to be sharing more information about yourself.

"No, you've actually never mentioned that." He smiled, enraptured by your childlike enthusiasm, so enraptured that he didn't notice the mischief in your eyes.

"Well, I did! Watch this." You handed a confused Bucky your now empty glass, turning and throwing your arms up. Bucky realized two late what was happening, and with both yours and his glasses in his hands, he couldn't physically stop you.

"Y/N, wait!" His shout had everyone turn and look as you flawlessly executed two cartwheels in a row.

Bucky would swear your smile got even bigger as you turned around to look at him again.

"Normally I can do more, but" you hiccuped, then lowered your voice to a really terrible whisper, "I'm a little drunk." You leaned into him, laughing as if you just told a joke.

Wanda walked up to you with a seventh drink, hoping seven drink Y/N had a little less energy, but happy to see you having so much fun. "Here ya go! One more of your favorites, just like you asked."

"Thank youuuuuu!" You shifted to hug Wanda, leaving Bucky to miss your added warmth.

-

You sipped your seventh drink slower than the rest, quickly running out of energy. Sliding the empty glass across the bar, you slipped out of the party unnoticed, making your way to the kitchen for some pickles- your favorite drunk food.

Your seventh drink hit you just after you opened the pickles. Gone was the happy, bubbly persona you showed the world. The mask slipped away, leaving you alone to contemplate your life choices.

You made your way to to the lounge just outside of the kitchen, choosing to lay on the floor behind the couch and stare out of the large floor to ceiling windows.

-

"Where's Y/N?" Bucky glanced around the room, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Huh? Oh, she said she wanted a snack." A very drunk Wanda turned to look at where the food was set up, scrunching her face in confusion when she couldn't find you. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom?"

Bucky, having noticed your absence 8 minutes ago, didn't think you left for a bathroom break. "Maybe." Plus, you always took the girls to the bathroom with you. His eyes flitted about the room, taking one more glance before deciding to go look for you.

He decided to head for the kitchen since Wanda said you wanted a snack. He laughed at the open jar of pickles, knowing you at least passed through this room. He put the pickles away before popping his head into the lounge area.

"Y/N?" He called out, figuring this was the most likely location for you to end up.

You hummed in response, not moving from your spot on the floor. Bucky walked further into the room, slightly confused as to why he could hear you but not see you. That is, until he realized you were laying on the floor behind the couch.

"Why are you on the floor?" He smiled when he found you.

"I'm just looking at the sky." Your voice held a melancholy air as it floated through the room. Bucky's smile faltered, not used to hearing you sad. In the three years he's known you, he's only ever seen you sad because of a movie or tv show. Otherwise, you were quite literally always happy.

"Why-" he faltered, unsure how to check on you. "Is everything okay?" he nearly choked the words out, feeling slightly stressed at your sudden gloominess.

"Yeah." You took a deep breath, slowly letting it out in a deep sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know." You sigh again, still looking at the sky.

Bucky chances another question, wanting to get you talking since you're acting so off. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel... so sorry." You words were so soft that Bucky could barely hear them.

"Sorry?" He tried to hide his confusion, matching your soft tone as he sat down a few feet away from you. "About what doll?"

"Just... because I feel so sad." Tears pooled in your eyes, but you didn't stop staring at the sky.

"What are you sad about?" It's taking everything in him for Bucky not to hold you right now. He doesn't want to make you even more upset, especially because he's never seen you like this.

"No one around me knows who I am..." He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek, shining in the light from the moon.

Bucky moves closer, just close enough for him to reach out and hold your hand. You squeeze it, instant relief flooding through him that he hasn't crossed any boundaries.

He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "I'm not breaking. I won't take it. And I won't ever feel this way again." Your voice is harder, as if your angry with yourself.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay to have feelings. You're allowed to feel like this. Don't push it away. Talk to me. Why don't you think anyone knows who you are? We're all here for you, Y/N." He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, trying to convey how serious he is.

You let out a dry laugh, wiping the the tears from your cheek. "My self preservation..." Bucky can tell there's more to, choosing to wait for you to continue. "All of my reservations..." You sigh again, sitting up, you scoot closer until you can lean your forehead against his shoulder. "I bottle it up. I'm my own biggest enemy." You let out another dry laugh, shaking your head without moving it from its resting place on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky wraps his arm around you and leans his cheek against your head. "Take your time. You can talk to me." He whispered, trying to keep you talking without getting mad at yourself again.

"Well, I'd like to tell you that my sky is not blue, it's violent rain." The sounds of your sniffles break his heart. "I just pretend everything's fine because that's what I had to do when I was younger." Rather then interrupting, Bucky continues to rub small circles on your hand and your back, encouraging you to continue when you're ready. "Can I tell you a story? I... I think it'll help explain some of it."

"Of course. Anything you need, doll." He curses himself for the pet name, not wanting you to think he's joking. He just can't help it when it comes to you.

"Thank you, ducky." You chuckle, but your words are just as sincere as his. "You know I have two sisters, and I love them with all my heart, but sometimes growing up with them was hard. My older sister, she put so much pressure on herself to succeed. And, she did. She was so good at everything she did, that I felt like I had to be just as perfect.

With my younger sister, it was like it was effortless. She put just as much, if not more pressure on herself. but, she could do anything she tried to, with almost no learning curve. I always felt this crazy amount of pressure to be just as good.

My parents, they didn't really help with that. I mean, they were so supportive and I'm so grateful to them, but it was a lot of pressure. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I wanted to get an internship. Ya know, to get some experience. It would set me up better for getting a job after graduation.

I spent months looking and applying, but nothing was working out. So, I went home for the summer. My mom would come home everyday and ask me if I got a job yet.

I spent nearly every waking hour looking for a job, even just a part time one for the summer. So one day, when we sat down for dinner and she asked if I got a job yet..."

Bucky could feel how tense you were telling this story, but he knew you needed to get it out.

"I told her, 'no, not yet' and she just seemed so disappointed. She asked if I was even applying and I snapped.

I yelled at her, something that had never really happened before. I told her I was trying. I was doing everything I could. She yelled at me for yelling and said it wasn't unreasonable to ask for updates.

I yelled right back. I kept saying I spend all day everyday trying and just when I finally get a break, she walks in and brings it all up again. I was stressed enough without her constant reminders.

I ended up running away from the table, in tears. I hid in the bathroom, there... there was a pair of scissors on the counter and I really thought about killing myself that day."

The tears are pouring out of you at this point. Bucky threw caution to the wind. He picked you up, maneuvering you to sit across his lap and lean your head on his chest. He kept rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of encouragement.

"My younger sister tried to check on me, but I wouldn't open the door. My mom stomped down the hallway to her bedroom. I was full on having a panic attack in the hallway bathroom. I think I stayed in there for an hour before I went back to the dinner table.

My dad was in the kitchen. He put my plate in the microwave to heat up dinner for me. I ate through near constant tears, it only got worse every time he tried to ask me what happened. Why I snapped like that.

I wanted to apologize to my mom for yelling, so after I ate I went to her room. I knocked, and when she told me to come in I opened the door. I just remember her looking so angry.

I apologized. I told her I was sorry for yelling. She said something about not being unreasonable again. I cried again. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared.

I couldn't put it into words though, so when she asked me 'of what?' I just shrugged. Then, she asked me if I was on my period.

God. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her again, To make her understand 'I only wanna die some days. But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?' I decided that day that I would never try to tell anyone how I actually felt."

Bucky holds you as you cry. You're not sure how long it's been when you can finally breathe enough to talk again.

"I just, so many people have bigger problems then me. I grew up in a loving household. I went to college and made friends. I got a job after I graduated. So why am I so sad sometimes? I just wanna scream but what’s the use? At night, I lay awake and I stare at the door, I just can’t take it no more."

Bucky continues comforting you when he speaks again. "Just because other people have problems, doesn't mean yours are irrelevant. You are 100% allowed to feel however you feel, even if it seems like there's no reason for it. Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this? I know you just said you haven't told anyone how you actually feel for years, but I think it could help." He smiled nervously when you raised your head to look at him.

"I have actually. I joked about it a lot with my roommate right out of college. I always used to say 'everybody needs therapy' as a joke. Of course, I meant it. Most people probably do need therapy." You laughed, moving your arms around Bucky's neck to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. I like talking to you."

Of course, Bucky noticed your smile didn't reach your eyes. He was confident in his words when he spoke again. "You can always talk to me. I'll always be there to listen." He followed that with a less confident "What's been bothering you today?"

"Oh, nothing that serious. It's just all pent up inside, ya know?" You smiled again, hiding your face so he couldn't see your lies.

Of course, he could still hear it in your voice. "Y/N, you can tell me. I want to be here for you."

"I... It's just, my insecurities are hurting me." You laughed at yourself. "Here we go with the fucking riddles, again. On the plus side, I think I've cried so much I'm back to one drink Y/N."

"Well, it has been 3 hours since I left to come find you." You were grateful for Bucky's joke, needing something to lift the mood a bit. "But, don't try and change the subject. I still want to know what's got you all sad." His words were light, but you knew how serious he was.

You took a deep breath, burying your head in his neck. "How could somebody ever love me?" You spoke into his shirt, not moving your head back even an inch.

"You know I can't understand you when you talk into my neck like that." Bucky tried joking, but even he knew it would do little to calm your fears.

You moved back, lips still grazing his skin when you repeated yourself, "how could somebody ever love me?"

Bucky wanted to scream. He wanted to tell you how much he loves you. He would gladly spend every day of his life loving you, but he didn't think this was the right time. Not when you just poured your heart out to him. So he settled for the almost truth.

"Anyone would be lucky to love you. You are selfless. You put everyone else first, no matter what. You always make sure everyone has a reason to smile, even when things aren't going right. You tell the best jokes. You're great at cuddling." He squeezes you closer to him, emphasizing the point. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone who comes into contact with you automatically has a better day. You are incredibly strong and independent. I've never met anyone so incredibly good. Even Steve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

His words brought more tears to your eyes, pooling in the corners. "Then how come everyone that I’ve dated says they hate it cause they don’t know what to do with me? I feel broken."

"They were all idiots. You're not broken. Not even a little bit. You're learning how to express your feelings. You just need someone who would take it slow." He pressed a kiss to your forehead, struggling not to tell you everything.

"I wonder if you’d take it slow." Your eyes go wide when that slips out. You hadn't meant to make things uncomfortable. One look at Bucky's face has you freaking out. He looks stunned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out! Oh god, you've been there for me all night and I go and fuck it up by admitting I'm in love with you."

Your eyes grow even larger. You would move out of his lap, but his arms are still holding you in place. "Shit! Maybe I'm still drunk because apparently I have no filter." You say the last part more to yourself, but he can still hear you.

"Y/N?" Your name comes out of his mouth in a soft whisper.

"Yes?" You cringe internally at messing everything up.

"I would take it slow." He smiles, leaning his forehead against yours while he waits for you to absorb his words.

"Yeah?" You whisper back, a smile ghosting your lips.

"Yeah." You both lean in, exchanging soft, slow kisses and sleepy smiles.

--

The two of you ended up falling asleep leaning against the back of the couch. The sun streaming through the windows, combined with the noise of the other avengers in the kitchen, wakes you up.

You nudge Bucky, grinning when he pulls you closer.

"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast." He groans again, but eventually stands up.

The two of you walk into the nearly full kitchen, surprising everyone by coming from the lounge rather than the elevators. They share amused expressions, unaware of the emotional hurdles you jumped last night.

You head right for Sam, hugging him tightly before moving on to hug everyone else.

"I just wanted to thank you all. For encouraging me to live a little last night, but also for being there for me." Tears spring to your eyes again, shocking everyone but Bucky. "You're all like a family to me and I'm so glad I have you all to lean on." You made your way back to Bucky, leaning into his side while he poured both of you some cereal.

You smile when you look at him, kissing his cheek before sliding into the stool next to his.

As if broken out of a day dream, Sam sputters out a question. "What the hell did seven drink Y/N do last night?" Thrown off both by your behaviour with Bucky and the short emotional speech.

"Oh, seven drink Y/N is an emotional little bitch. I think I cried eight years of suppressed tears." You laughed, grinning at Bucky when he squeezed your hand. "Also, I think I need a therapist." Your casual admission has Tony spitting out his breakfast.

"What the hell happened last night after you disappeared from the party?" He guffaws, trying to put the pieces together.

"Also, why aren't you even a little bit hungover?" Nat chimed in, upset at missing out on seeing you anything but cheery.

"Well, to answer Nat first, I don't get hungover. Never have, even the one time I blackout out." You shrugged at everyone's slightly jealous expressions. "To answer Tony, I had an emotional breakthrough. Bucky helped me talk through it, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Long story short, i'm going to learn how to share my feelings instead of suppressing them all."

"Suppressing them? What are you talking about? I've literally never felt anything but happiness from you before?" Wanda questioned the new development.

"Well, that's because I'm really good at hiding how I feel. I'd rather not go through it all again, so just watch the security footage from the lounge last night, yeah? I want you all to know, even if it took seven drink Y/N to share it." You quickly finished eating, pulling Bucky to the doorway.

"While you do that, we're going out. Bye!" Before they could question anything else, you ran to the elevator, dragging a very willing Bucky behind you.

"We're going out?" He questioned when the elevator doors shut.

"Yep. Get dressed, I want to see all your favorite places in New York. Even if they're different now. Take me to all your favorite spots." You both smiled, sharing another soft kiss before parting to change for the day.

"Hey," Bucky called, causing you to turn over your shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you too."

[astarlightmonbebe]

symbolism in insider: the matryoshka doll

jtbc’s insider is filled with symbolism, from the card games to the literal cards themselves, but one mysterious element that pops up too many times to be a coincidence is a matryoshka doll (featured in bad screenshots throughout). it’s never explicitly clear what the matryoshka doll’s purpose is, but it is clear that it is supposed to have some significance. in this post, i will attempt to analyze the matryoshka doll, and what connection it has to the plot, specifically yohan and sunoh.

the matryoshka doll makes it’s first appearance in episode three. in the scene, yohan is searching sunoh’s cell. the matryoshka doll is seen on the windowsill. when yohan goes to investigate it further, he is interrupted/caught. 

the second time the matryoshka doll is seen is in episode six, when yohan enters sunoh’s now empty cell and confirms that he has left without a word (as he said he would). however, the matryoshka doll is still there, indicating that sunoh has left it behind, despite it seemingly being a personal possession of his. 

the matryoshka doll makes it’s third appearance in episode eight/nine, right after yohan has seen the video on minho’s instagram and realized sunoh was his grandmother’s killer. after he’s done breaking down, he looks at the matryoshka doll with cold fury, remembering picking it up in sunoh’s cell. it’s clear that in this moment, the matryoshka doll is sunoh.

the last time the matryoshka doll is seen is in episode twelve, where yohan sets it on the table before beginning his interrogation of sunoh. it’s surely no coincidence that episode twelve, the last time we see sunoh, is the last time the matryoshka doll is featured as well.

now, in regards to the doll itself, there are several questions about it’s significance in canon, such as:

why did sunoh have the doll to begin with? (and what does the doll mean to him?)

did sunoh leave the doll purposefully for yohan to find?

why does yohan set the doll on the table for sunoh to clearly see?

for the first one, we don’t know the answer, and likely can only speculate about it. it’s unclear what value it holds to sunoh, and if he leaves it behind because it’s worthless, or not. however, it doesn’t seem to be something that he’s super attached to, or at least not something with a whole ton of sentimental value.

which leads me to the second question: did sunoh leave the matryoshka doll on purpose? if so, why? 

although this is never confirmed canonically, it is my personal belief that sunoh did leave the doll deliberately, and likely meant for yohan to keep it, as it is shown that yohan did. i think at that point, from episodes six to eight (ish), the matryoshka doll becomes a symbol for sunoh, both his presence and his absence. yohan initially keeps it as a token of remembrance, almost like a parting gift from sunoh, but after episode eight it becomes a symbol of revenge. when he looks at the doll in episode eight, remembering finding it in episode six, there is nothing but a burning hatred and intent in his eyes. in this scene, yohan is choosing to leave behind the relationship he had with sunoh in favor of taking his revenge. sunoh is now one of his enemies, and so the matryoshka doll can no longer symbolize their friendship.

the third question is the hardest one to answer. we are obviously shown yohan setting the matryoshka doll down for a reason, and yohan obviously does it for a reason, but that reason is unclear, and us viewers can do nothing but hypothesize about it, which is what i will now do.

some viewers have postulated that yohan sets the doll down as a signal to sunoh of some sort, which infers that they were working together in some aspect. while i don’t think the latter is true, the former - that yohan sets the doll down as a signal - could possibly work out, as it lends to other details of the scene that don’t quite add up, such as yohan deliberately showing sunoh his web on the wall, showing him the video, etc. despite yohan having seemingly no problem setting sunoh up and letting him get captured and tortured by the yang brothers, his interrogation is surprisingly gentle; he promises medical care, and even though sunoh doesn’t confess to anything, yohan still reacts instinctively to save his life. although this could be lended to just yohan’s more kind hearted personality, i think insider is clear about yohan’s transformation from someone who is more soft hearted to a cutthroat man, and like i said earlier, he doesn’t seem to have a problem backstabbing sunoh in episode eleven.

i believe that it’s more likely that yohan sets the matryoshka doll down for sunoh to see as a sign of their former shared relationship. if we take the possibility that sunoh leaves the doll as a parting gift to yohan as true, then yohan setting it down is almost his returning it in a way, kind of like him saying ‘we’re over.’ it would remind sunoh of his promises to yohan, and the closeness they shared, and could also possibly make sunoh feel guilty towards yohan.

now, outside of it’s appearances in canon, i want to discuss a little about what the matryoshka doll might symbolize re: sunoh himself, outside of his and yohan’s relationship.

matryoshka dolls are nesting dolls, meaning they’re hollow on the inside, fitting smaller dolls inside of them. although sunoh’s doll is certainly small, it likely still has several other dolls on the inside, although we never see this confirmed (i think it would have been cool if they did confirm it was a nesting doll, but it might have gotten a bit heavy handed then, as insider is all about hidden meaning and coded symbolism, letting the viewer draw their own conclusions without shoving it in their faces).

this concept of a nesting doll perfectly matches sunoh’s traction throughout the show. like the matryoshka doll, sunoh shows one side to the world, but inside there are miniature versions of himself that are revealed as the show goes on. we first meet him as the dean of the prison, but then we learn about his real personality underneath his sadistic, cheerful front, shown through how he mentors yohan. and underneath that is a more calculating version of himself, someone that hides his hands to hide his lies, which we see as his past with yang joon is revealed. we are once again blindsided by the reveal that he is the person that killed yohan’s grandmother, and then we’re shown the more desperate sides of sunoh, someone who wants to live and is morally unscrupulous. however, our final view of sunoh is in episode twelve, where he is fully unraveled during his talk with chairman do, where he reveals the final nesting doll of his heart (and yes, i could say a lot more about sunoh in episode twelve, but by then i would be completely off topic lol).

again, it’s no coincidence that the matryoshka doll is last seen the last time yohan and sunoh interact. it vanishes with sunoh’s ‘death,’ and sunoh vanishes from the screen.

[bamf-jaskier]

Comparison of Show and Book Coën

All right folks, you asked for it so here it is. As an avid fan of both the books and show I am so excited to talk about Coen, who is possibly becoming one of my favorite witchers. I’ve done a post on Coen before here that basically goes over his character from the books, but I figured a comparison was in order. 

To start, in the books, Coen only appears in Blood of Elves but does get a mention in Lady of the Lake as a flashback. In the show, he is in episodes 2, 3, 4, 6, and 8. Actually, Coen has more scenes in the show than he does in the books so I’m going to be taking his book scenes and talking about equivalents to that in the show and also touching on how his other scenes in the show influence his characterization. 

To start off with Lambert and Coen training Ciri 

Blood of Elves Chapter 2: 

The girl, agilely stepping along the balance beam, executed a half-turn, cut lightly, and immediately leaped away. The dummy, struck, swayed on its rope.

“Well, at last!” shouted Lambert. “You’ve finally got it! Go back and do it again. I want to make sure it wasn’t a fluke!”

“The sword,” Triss turned to the witchers, “looks sharp. The beam looks slippery and unstable. And Lambert looks like an idiot, demoralising the girl with all his shouting. Aren’t you afraid of an unfortunate accident? Or maybe you’re relying on destiny to protect the child against it?”

“Ciri practised for nearly six months without a sword,” said Coën. “She knows how to move. And we are keeping an eye on her because—”

“Because this is her home,” finished Geralt quietly but firmly. Very firmly. Using a tone which put an end to the discussion.

Blood of Elves Chapter 3:

“Once more, Ciri. We’ll go through it slowly so that you can master each move. Now, I’m attacking you with tierce, taking the position as if to thrust… Why are you retreating?”

“Because I know it’s a feint! You can move into a wide sinistra or strike with upper quarte. And I’ll retreat and parry with a counterfeint!”

“Is that so? And if I do this?”

“Auuu! It was supposed to be slow! What did I do wrong, Coën?”

“Nothing. I’m just taller and stronger than you are.”

“That’s not fair!”

“There’s no such thing as a fair fight. You have to make use of every advantage and every opportunity that you get. By retreating you gave me the opportunity to put more force into the strike. Instead of retreating you should have executed a half-pirouette to the left and tried to cut at me from below, with quarte dextra, under the chin, in the cheek or throat.”

S2 E3 What is Lost: 

Lambert: Nice try, Princess. Admit it. You belong in a castle, not our keep.

Lambert (to Ciri): Gettin’ tired?

Lambert (to Coen): Do you remember wasting your time battling sacks of straw, Coen?

Coen: Can’t say I do.

Ciri: What did you do, then?

Lambert: I don’t think so. Some things are far too scary for little girls.

Ciri: I’m not little, and I’m not afraid.

Lambert: That’s easy to say. But our road is a dark one. Full of dangers. Is that what you want?

Ciri: I want to do what a witcher does.

Lambert: Come on, then.

Coen: Afraid to break a nail, Princess?

Lambert: Give it a try. Go on.

Coen: Are you sure about this?

Lambert: I’m just having a little fun.

(Ciri falls)

Lambert: Still wanna be a witcher?

TIME SKIP 

Lambert: That all you got, girl?

Coen: Come on, Ciri. Let’s go back. You’ve had enough.

There is also a short scene in the main hall of Kaer Morhen where Coen is shown to be training Ciri alone and says, “Again! Good, eyes up, Again!”

Okay so comparing how Lambert and Coen train Ciri in the show vs the books I honestly don’t see many characterization differences here. Lambert is often played as the asshole aggressor when it comes to Ciri’s training (and although this post is for Coen I could certainly do a Lambert comparison as well). Coen plays the more thoughtful, aware character. In the books, there’s the scene above where Coen is training Ciri. He takes time to answer her questions and explain things out. He doesn’t want to push her farther than she is comfortable with. This is seen in the show too where Coen is almost acting as the voice of reason, telling Ciri that she doesn’t have to continue training if she can’t handle it. And Coen is really the only Witcher who is shown to allow Ciri possible boundaries with training if she wants it. 

Then there’s the scenes where Triss is berating the Witchers for not taking Ciri’s overall well-being into account: 

Blood of Elves Chapter 2: 

“You didn’t even know.” She nodded in what was now a calm, concerned and gentle reproach. “You’re pathetic guardians. She’s ashamed to tell you because she was taught not to mention such complaints to men. And she’s ashamed of the weakness, the pain and the fact that she is less fit. Has any one of you thought about that? Taken any interest in it? Or tried to guess what might be the matter with her? Maybe her very first bleed happened here, in Kaer Morhen? And she cried to herself at night, unable to find any sympathy, consolation or even understanding from anyone? Has any one of you given it any thought whatsoever?”

“Stop it, Triss,” moaned Geralt quietly. “That’s enough. You’ve achieved what you wanted. And maybe even more.”

“The devil take it,” cursed Coën. “We’ve turned out to be right idiots, there’s no two ways about it, eh, Vesemir, and you—”

“Silence,” growled the old witcher. “Not a word.”

S2 E4 Redanian Intelligence: 

Ciri: Triss, when do you think we can get started?

Triss: Today. I was hoping you’d help me in the lab. We can get to know each other. I can show you a few incantations. Get a sense for your potential.

Coen:  …and be a great foal to ride, too. Everard. 

Ciri: Good morning. Did you sleep well? 

Coen: Oh, good morning, Your Highness. 

Lambert: Please tell me you lost a bet. 

Coen:Is that a flower in your hair, girl? 

Lambert: Oh, she’s not joking. You never got my rags that clean.

Coen: Yeah, like you ever wash.

Lambert: I don’t need to, Coen.

Coen: Now that’s funny.

(Ciri walks out)

Coen (referring to Ciri’s flower): Thought it suited her, actually.

Lambert: Sure, if she’s going to a ball.

Geralt: What happened?

Lambert: Oh, nothing. She just got her royal knickers in a twist.

Triss: You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Coen: It’s just a bit of fun.

Triss: For who? You dress her in rags. Keep her bruised as an apple. That is, when she isn’t washing piss-pots or your trousers. Does she even have a chemise? Or soap? Or cloth for when she gets her blood? Though, with those mushrooms you’re feeding her, you’ll ruthlessly deprive her of that before too long. You say you’re mutants. That’s why you don’t understand what people feel. But the truth is, you’re choosing to be ignorant arseholes, aren’t you?

Coen: Triss.

Now again I think that the show carries Coen’s characterization along well here too. In the books, the only Witchers that are immediately apologetic of the way Ciri has been treated are Coen and Eskel. In the show, obviously Eskel isn’t seen in this scene (he’s a little more bark than bite sorry sorry too soon) but Coen in, and just like in the books, he’s the only one to reach out to Triss, the only one who looks apologetic. And in the show they even double down on this, with Coen actually pushing back against Lambert making fun of Ciri’s appearance, saying that the flower looked nice on her. 

Finally, from the books we have the scene where Coen is playing a game with Ciri in the background while the other Witchers discuss Ciri and her future

Blood of Elves Chapter 3 

The enchantress turned her gaze on Ciri. The girl was sitting on a bearskin with Coën, tucked away in the far corner of the hall, and both were busy playing a handslapping game. The game was growing monotonous as both were incredibly quick – neither could manage to slap the other’s hand in any way. This, however, clearly neither mattered to them nor spoiled their game.

...

He fell silent and looked at Ciri who, with a joyful squeal, acknowledged that she had the upper hand in the game. Triss spied a small smile on Coën’s face and was sure he had allowed her to win.”

Triss glanced at Ciri, who was shrilly accusing Coën of cheating. Coën put his arms around her and burst out laughing. The magician suddenly realised that she had never, up until now, heard any of the witchers laugh.

...

Coën approached the table carrying the girl piggy-back.

“Wish everybody goodnight, Ciri,” he said. “Say goodnight to those night owls. We’re going to sleep. It’s nearly midnight. In a minute it’ll be the end of Midinváerne. As of tomorrow, every day brings spring closer!”

S2 E4 Redanian Intelligence:

Ciri: I’m not tired.

Coen: All right, come on, you little rat. I’ll play a few rounds of snaps with you before bed. Maybe I might even let you win.

Ciri: Yeah, you wish! Night, everyone.

Geralt: Good night.

Triss: Good night, Ciri.

Lambert: Night.

Coen: Night, all.

Geralt: Good night.

Coen: So, you think you can beat me, do you?

So I would actually like to sue Netflix for emotional damages because they are cowards who did NOT show me Coen giving Ciri a piggyback ride. Fucking cowards. However, I will admit that they did continue his characterization. Coen is just more lighthearted than the other Witchers. He is the one who is honestly closest to Ciri outside of Geralt and will play games with her and try and make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. He will joe around with her but he knows when to stop. When others see her more as a weapon, Coen still sees her as a child. 

I really appreciate that the show managed to keep the heart of the character, in particular his relationship with Ciri. 

Now, the show did add a few things with Coen that I did not expect. When I originally wrote my Coen Primer, I said this: 

Lambert is short and sharp, he tells Ciri what to do but not how to do it. Coën on the other hand takes time to answer her every question and explain things out. It’s important to understand and Lambert and Coën act as foils and parallels for each other in Blood of Elves. You see two Witchers of the same age but with very different temperaments. 

And I guess that Netflix saw that parallel and decided to give Lambert and Coen really strong amounts of “Old Married Couple” vibes. Here’s some examples from the show: 

S2 E2 Kaer Morhen: 

Coen: Lambchop.

[door slams]

Witcher: Here comes trouble!

Lambert: Where the fuck have you been?

Coen: We thought you got lost.

Lambert:  Or killed.

Geralt: Not yet.

Geralt: Sorry.

...

Lambert: So, there I am, freezing my bollocks off in the middle of a grain field for the second straight night, when the farmer’s wife comes sneaking out to tell me that I’m wasting my time. It wasn’t a mora her husband saw leaving that room. No. It was the fucking field hand! Oh, and now she’s wailing, “Oh, what are we gonna do? My husband won’t pay you if you don’t deliver a mora head!” So I pulled out my sword and I said… “Bet he’ll pay double for the field hand’s.”

Coen: Good old Lambchop.

Lambert: She returned with two horses and a fur rug. Best job I had all year. [chuckles]

Vesemir: Each of your faces is cause enough for celebration. You’re safe. You made it back. You made it home.

Witchers: Aye. Hear, hear!

Coen: Here’s to another winter, together.

...

Lambert: Coen! What’s the difference between a witcher and a heap of shit?

Coen: Well, go on, then.

Lambert: Eventually, the shit will stop smelling. [guffaws]

Coen: That joke’s old as the Conjunction.

Lambert: Well, you tell me one, then, you comedic fuck.

Coen: All right.

Lambert: What do you call a witcher with no brains?

Ciri: Lambert?

[laughs]

Coen: Okay, now she’s funny. Oh, Lambert!

Geralt: When you finish this, get some rest. Ciri.

Lambert: Trouble with the pretty, pretty princess?

Coen: Leave it alone.

Lambert: Why should I? He made his choice. Cost us a brother.

Geralt: That wasn’t our brother. Not by the end of it. And bitterness won’t help us find what killed him.

Lambert: Oh, I know what killed him.

Coen: Leave it alone.

I don’t know why they did it, but I will say I am fully on board the Coenchop train, because Lambert calling Coen Lambchop is the cutest fucking thing ever. 

Now, as far as Coen’s backstory goes the show doesn’t actually say anything about it. 

All we know is that this is not Coen’s first winter at the keep which is different from the book, in the books, Ciri coming to the keep is Coen’s first winter there. 

This is how he was described in Netflix’s Timeline: 

One of the youngest witchers in Kaer Morhen, Coen is easily recognizable by his mismatched eyes. Unlike the stubborn stereotype of a witcher, he is (comparatively) more sensitive and diplomatic than the rest of his kin. Somehow, the years on the Path haven’t yet made him as bitter and outspoken as his brothers. 

Still, Coen enjoys cracking coarse jokes and pulling pranks with his pal Lambert -- jests that often come at the expense of Kaer Morhen’s latest addition, princess Cirilla. The year of Ciri’s arrival brings many unexpected changes to Kaer Morhen. Coen and his fellow witchers would never have guessed that they would spend their winter training a princess, or battling a most unusual leshy.

One thing that the show and books have in common that drives me up the wall is that they are really vague on where Coen is from. Despite popular thought, in the books, Coen is NOT stated to be a Griffin Witcher. All we know is that he is from the north, Poviss. In the show, despite having a Wolf Medallion, he is never described as a Wolf Witcher. There is certainly the interpretation available that Coen lost his medallion and grabbed a Wolf one. It’s not like his medallion is ever described in the books. 

So in both the show and books his school and past is very up to interpretation, but you what? That’s what fandom is for and I love the variety of headcanons about his past. 

Now this is where I am going to end this analysis, if you have stuck around reading this whole thing, congratulations. If you have you have some of your own thoughts to add, please do, I love discussing meta with people.  Coen has always been a character I am interested in but haven’t seen a lot of content for, so If you are a Coen fan, let me know because I would love to get invested with more content of the character. 

Yasen Atour played the character perfectly, and outside of me missing my piggyback scene, I really liked how they portrayed him in the show. 

Also, as a resource, I have compiled a document of all Coen scenes from the show and books, dm me if you’d like access to it either as a writer or a fan or anything!